#THEIR WHOLE BACKSTORY IS SO INTRIGUING AND TRAGIC...

[luck-of-the-drawings]

DOODLEPAGE COMMISSION CREATED FOR THE WONDERFUL @reallybelt do YOU want me to draw you a doodlepage of your blorbo? im still doing commissions!! more information here. cmon down!! get em before the 15th when they put me down witha really big hammer

[orestesimp]

EVERY YOU EVERY ME: ISSUE #4

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x female reader

Summary: Miguel O'Hara saves you from falling off the Chrysler building for a second time, and he's not very happy about it.

Word count: 4,400 words.

Content: Slow burn so slow we're getting a reverse speeding ticket, Spidey-boy has a lot of emotions and really needs therapy, he also swears a lot, tiny speck of angst.

Astroboot’s Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Spiderverse Masterlist

[Previous] [TBC]

It's shocking how fast the ground approaches from a height of 72 stories. You always imagined it would take longer given the distance. In movies, the freefall is always captured in a hypnotizing slow motion, but real gravity is brutal and unforgiving.

This time, as you fall through the sky, you don’t see the New York concrete grow wider or nearer. All you see is the vast gap between you and the crystal blue sky rapidly pulling away from you. The buildings looming higher with every second. The blinding sun reflected in the thousands and thousands of glaring windows towering above.

You can't feel your heartbeat or the wind beating against your face. There should be panic. But at the sight of familiar inky-blue piercing through your view, an eerie calm takes over until a comforting numb spreads through your limbs.

Call it misguided naivety. No one should ever place this much trust with their life on a stranger they don't even know to come and save them.

But misguided or not, there's no fear in you this time around. You don't think about how you are plummeting down to your death. Not when you see him speeding after you. Diving head-first into the vast empty space as he closes the distance between you, hand outstretched, reaching for you.

His hand catches around your wrist in mid-air. It's a firm grip like he never means to let go. He reels you in until you're defying gravity, gliding up through the air to meet him until he can wrap his arms around you.

Everything decelerates. The reflection of the rows and rows of windows no longer flashing by. It's a gentle descent as the breeze flows pleasantly through your hair, and if you don't think too hard about how you can't control the direction of movement, you can almost believe you’re flying.

The landing is gentle. He sets you on your feet with such great care that it takes you a second to adjust to the feeling of firm concrete beneath your soles.

Once again, you find yourself standing face to face with the masked superhero who has saved your life more times than you can count on both hands.

You crane your neck to meet his gaze, head tilting upwards until your neck strains, and it strikes you that you've forgotten how tall he was. His head tips down, the dark outline of his masked eyes staring down at you, and it makes the hair on the nape of your neck prickle.

Say something. 

You rack your brain, trying to remember all the questions you had meticulously written down in the notepad hidden in your desk as you planned for this very moment. But they’re missing, wiped cleanly from your mind now that he's here in front of you. Your mouth parts, trying to remember how to use your vocal cords again.

Before you find it, the blue fabric recedes until it reveals his face again. You're met with cutting eyes that glow an otherworldly crimson and the bared sharp canine teeth of a predator as he growls at you. 

"What the hell were you thinking?!" 

The low rumble of his words scrapes down your spine and locks you in a fight or flight response. Except you're doing neither. Fixed in place, unable to move.

One of his hands reaches up to pull at his hair in frustration, as he starts to mumble to himself. He's tugging it so hard you think he's going to yank them out by the roots.

"I can’t believe you! Me estás matando. Casi me da un ataque cardíaco–"

You blink up at him dimly, confused until you realize that he's broken into Spanish. But he's speaking too low and too fast. You can only make out about half of it.

"–No puedo más! I am dying of stress. You're impossible! I turn away for one second…” 

One sentence flows directly into the next without stopping for a single breath, and you're surprised he doesn't go lightheaded from lack of oxygen with how long he goes on.

You raise your hand slightly, reminiscent of a gesture you used to pull in school when you wanted to get the teacher's attention to ask a question. But he doesn't notice. Doesn’t even throw a glance in your direction.

“... and you go Anna Karenina on me. I can't with you, I can't, I can't–"

You try to follow along, looking for an appropriate break in his rant to get a word in edgewise. But like the line of tourists lining up for the Statue of liberty, there doesn't seem to be an end in sight. As rude as it is, the only thing you can think of is clearing your throat, loudly, trying to draw attention to yourself, but that's soundly ignored as well.

"Me vas a sacar canas verdes–-"

One broad hand covers his face as if he's trying to scrub away the beginnings of a migraine, and he keeps going.

Listening to him makes you feel like a child on the receiving end of a scolding by an exasperated parent. Any lingering thread of fear or intimidation gives way to irritation at this man who is so subsumed by his tirade that he doesn't even seem to be aware of your presence, not three feet away from him.

"–Siempre haces esto, una y otra y otra vez–"

You don't know exactly how long he’s been going on for by now, but you know that it's long. You could even swear the shadow by your feet has shifted to the opposite end of the patch of concrete at your feet in the time he’s been talking.

"Well? Aren't you going to say anything?" he asks, apparently finally done. He stands there, arms crossed, with a condescending set to his jaw as he looks down on you.

And god, where to even start with this man? You have enough material about his difficult and avoidant behavior to make a powerpoint presentation out of it. You should block out the boardroom for three whole hours and hold a Q&A after.

How, if he had just spoken to you after you left him not one, not two, but several requests to meet with him, then things could have ended up a lot more civilized.

How, if he hadn't been hiding from you this whole time—gaslighting you— you wouldn't have had to spend over $200 on budget DIY spy crap (in this economy!) on an utterly wasted attempt to catch him. And, to add insult to injury, you’re sure you are never going to use any of that stuff ever again!

How, if he hadn't been talking non-stop and had the self-awareness to take a second to observe others, he'd have realized that you had plenty of things to say to him, if only he had paused long enough to let you.

But somehow in the face of his expectant expression, all that comes out of your mouth is, "I don't know what you want me to say."

His face falls. There's a split second of disappointment, raw and anguished, that flitters across his face. Then it's gone as quickly as it appeared, and he turns away from you. Whatever he was expecting from you, that was obviously not it.

When he speaks again, his voice has turned calm and quiet. He almost sounds resigned.

"Yeah. I don't know either." 

There's a sluggish, awkward silence that lingers on the three feet of concrete stretched between the two of you. The echo of traffic below, the cab horns and chatter swarms the space. After everything that’s happened, it all feels very anti-climatic somehow.

"Can you take me back to my apartment and we can talk? I have coffee. Cake too," you say, trying to break the silence.

"I don't drink coffee." His tone is curt, severing the olive branch you were trying to extend with a sharp snap, and your shoulders sag in defeat and disappointment. But then his face tips back in your direction and meets your eyes. The line of his mouth twitches as if he’s war with himself. 

"But I'll have some cake," he concedes. 

Had you known that a superhero was coming over for a visit, you'd probably have done a better job of cleaning up and making the place presentable.

You would have put away the heap of unfolded, wrinkly laundry that's piled up on your bed, granny panties in full sight. Would have washed the dirty dishes stacked up in your sink like a dangerous game of porcelain Jenga. Or at least cleared out the sad looking take out box where your half-eaten pizza is still resting in a greased up spot on the table.

Still, you're not sure how impressed he would be even if you had. Your studio apartment is a standard size for NYC, meaning in most other places it would be classified as a closet. With his height, he has to duck to make it through the threshold of your door and can barely stand upright without banging his head against the ceiling. It’s ironic that the window entrance is probably less hazardous for him.

You get him a plate of cake and set it on the table in front of him, delicately placing the dessert fork on the side.

"Sorry, I don't have any cookies for you today, just coffee cake."

The sight of him sitting hunched over your Ingatorp IKEA dining table is slightly comical. The table looks like a miniature doll set against his broad frame, and as he picks up the small dessert fork in his large hand, that only adds to the absurdity of the situation. He looks like he’s playing at having a tea party with a child’s play tea set. 

You sit down across from him, watching him intently, trying to gather the nerve to ask the questions you've been dying to ask since this all started. But you're hesitant and fumbling, stumbling on your words like an idiot, "Uhm, so I wanted to ask if you– if you knew why all of this is happening to–"

"No."

You frown at his interruption. "You didn't let me finish," you protest.

He leans back against his chair, waving away your protests dismissively into the air. "I didn't need you to. The answer is no. Next question."

You bite down on your lip to stave off the curse stuck in your throat, trying to force its way out. You hold it. Stemming the tide, as you focus on the task at hand.

"Who are you?"

His head tilts to the side at your question, as his hand draws up and gestures vaguely over the spider emblem of his costume draped over his chest. "Isn't it obvious?" he snarkily responds, "I'm Spiderman"

Great, he's a rude and sassy superhero. You narrow your eyes at him

"You're not the Spiderman I know of."

He doesn't respond to that. Just glares down at the cake as he pierces it with a sharp stab of the fork, making the porcelain underneath clank. Then he scoops a large spoonful and shovels it into his mouth.

God, who eats cake so angrily?

"Why did you save–" you start, but he holds up one finger, motioning for you to pause. 

He cleaves off another piece of cake and shoves it into his mouth, chewing slowly. You watch as he beats the Guinness record of slowest chewer across the table from you, before you finally get to repeat your question.

"Why do you keep saving me?"

"I'm a superhero. I save people. It's what I do."

Bright irritation pings through you at his sarcastic attitude. 

This is like playing the world's shittiest game of 20 Questions, except here the whole goal of the game is to see whose sanity cracks first.

Naively, you had thought that being able to sit down with him in person would mean you could finally start getting some answers. You hadn't been expecting the need to deploy strategic maneuvers, and you pause, taking your time before you speak. 

You need to pick a question he won't be able to evade. You think back at the footage of the nanny-cam, that time he carried you to bed. The worry when you weren't where he expected you to be. The over-familiarity that seeps out of his every action with you as if he already knows you and that the last thing you heard as you fell off the ledge was his voice calling out your name.

"How did you know my name?" you finally ask him.

His back stiffens at the question, jaw grinding down until the small muscle there flexes with irritation.

"I don't."

Liar.

"You called my name when I fell," you remind him.

This time instead of answering, he slides the now empty plate at you across the table.

"Can I have another slice?"

You frown. It's an obvious ploy to buy himself some time to avoid answering your question. But you can't deny his request either.

With a sigh, you push away your chair to bring the plate to the counter. You cut up an obscenely big slice so that he won't be able to use this as an excuse a second time.

Turning back around, you find that the gluttonous self-proclaimed Spiderman is pinching the bridge of his nose. He looks a little worse for wear, a pained expression etched into those tightly knitted brows.

"Are you okay?" you ask, concerned.

"No. I–" He breaks off, his broad palm gripping the back of the chair, and you notice a slight tremor in his fingers. "Something’s wrong." 

He pushes the chair back, trying to get to his feet, but to your surprise, he stumbles and sways. 

He seems just as surprised as you are at his newfound lack of coordination. 

"What the–" He looks down on his feet with concentrated effort. Then he takes another step. It's wobblier than the one before, his knee giving way, and his arm shoots out to grip at the edge of your table for balance.

Alarm bells start to go off in your head. You don't understand what's happening, but he's definitely right, something is wrong. A man that can gracefully scale down the Chrysler building from 72 floors down shouldn't be struggling this much just to take two steps back in your living room.

"Maybe you should sit back down," you suggest, looking up at him. There’s a slight sheen of perspiration that's settled on his forehead. The beginnings of a rosy flush tinting his cheeks. "Do you have any food allergies?"

"No. I don't. No. Super metabolism kind of cuts down on that sort of–” he’s stumbling over his words, each syllable slurred on his tongue, as he shakes his head at you. “No, no allergies. No food sensitivities of any kind except...."

He glares around wildly and his eyes land on the remaining slice of cake perched on your kitchen counter. 

"Did you put fucking coffee in that cake?!?!"

“"Yes?” You whip around, and look at the cake on your counter, not understanding the relevance of his question. “I mean... It's a coffee cake? I told you that!" 

You push aside your growing panic as you try to remember if the EpiPen stored away in your kitchen cupboard is past its expiration.

"You didn't tell me there was coffee in it!"

Is he serious?

"I said ‘coffee cake’! What else would be in there? It's in the name," you snap. 

And god, you can't believe this is what you're arguing with him about at this moment.

"Okay, yeah," he concedes testily, "but coffee cake is its own thing too! Isn’t coffee cake just… cake... that you, like... serve with coffee? It doesn't have coffee in it! Why the fuck does it have coffee in it?"

Does the man even hear himself? You're trying to figure out if you need to call an ambulance, and he is arguing with you on the technicalities of what constitutes coffee cake.

"Okay, wait, but are you dying?" you ask, trying to stay calm despite the pandemonium of panic ringing in your head. 

"No! I'm just intoxitac– intocita– intoshica– I'm just fucking drunk okay!?" he spits out.

Your brain stalls at his statement. Intoxicated!? When did he have time to drink? He seemed fine just a few minutes ago, but now he's slurring and about to topple over.

"You're drunk? How–"

"Spiders get drunk on coffee," he interrupts, and the flush on his cheek deepens to a deep alarming red. If you didn't know better, you'd almost think he was blushing.

"Okay, let's sit you down." You rush over, rounding your dining table as you reach for him.

At the sight of your extended hands, his eyes widen in alarm, He steps back from you, eyeing you like you're something dangerous.

"No. No, I'm–" he takes another step backwards, flinging himself away from your touch, but loses his footing in the process. He tilts over, hand grappling for the edge of the table as he goes, but instead of the edge he manages to take the cake plate with him on the way down.

There's a clank of shattered porcelain, followed by the loud thud of his body hitting the ground.

With the large size of him in your tiny studio apartment and the breaking of porcelain left and right, this feels like the idiom of a bull running wild in a China shop, come to life.

You reach out your hand to help him get up, but he doesn't acknowledge it, anchoring his elbow to the floor for leverage, only to wobble and fall flat against his back again with an angry curse.

Why is he so goddamned stubborn? 

You glance down at him, this gigantic man that is lying sprawled out on the floor with the gravitas of a turtle trapped on its back. He's so huge that he's eating up half of the floor space of your entire home. If he doesn’t get up, you won't be able to take two steps without accidentally stepping on him.

Shaking your head in disbelief at the ridiculousness of the situation, you hunch down on your knees beside him.

There's hesitation etched in those otherworldly crimson eyes as you come near. But as much as he's scowling at you, baring his fangs and trying to look scary, there isn't much he can do from the floor.

"Let me help you," you insist, "let's get you in bed until it wears off. I can't have you passed out on my floor like this."

He takes your outstretched hand, and you pull backwards, trying to bring him up with you. Between the two of you, you manage to get him on his feet again. Barely. 

Whoa.

You crane your head up, up, up til you meet his eyes. Yup, the man is still huge. Must be damn near 7 feet tall and heavy, and you quickly realize there's not much you can do but try to steer so that he falls in the direction of your bed.

Somehow you manage to shepherd him in the right direction, until his knees hit the edges of your bed. He lands with a dramatic thud and you hear your bed frame groan in protest. 

“Do you need anything?” you ask, but he doesn’t answer you. His broad arm drapes over his eyes, blocking you out. 

You sigh, turning on your heels to clean up the mess of coffee cake and broken plates off your floor.

You barely manage to finish sweeping up the floor before you hear soft snoring filling your home.

Knock-off Spiderman is sound asleep, his large shape curled up on your mattress, entirely still.

You settle yourself back at the dining table, eating the leftover coffee cake as you pull up a book on your phone and wait for him to wake.

This was not how you had imagined your first extended interaction would turn out.

Honestly, you can't make sense of any of your interactions with him. How he's constantly avoiding you, yet can't seem to stay away and routinely checks in on you.

How he acts overly familiar in one instance and excessively rude and put off by you the next.

Maybe you remind him of someone else... Maybe even an ex? It feels weird to speculate, but it would explain a lot of things. His belligerent attitude towards you. The way he looks at you with eyes full of resentment, even as he's saving you from certain death. That look in his eyes like he knows you, even though you've never met him.

It doesn't explain how he knows your name though.

From the bed, you can hear him stir, shifting against the mattress with a quiet groan muffled into your pillow. He's softly murmuring something that you can't quite make out, and then he turns in his sleep again, making a pained noise that makes worry squeeze tight in your chest.

Maybe letting him sleep it off wasn't the brightest idea you've had. You probably should've called for the ambulance as soon as he showed physical signs of distress.

You're not a biologist. You don't know how a hybrid spider-human’s physiology works.

What if he's not just drunk? Whoever heard of coffee making someone drunk! And how could it affect him so quickly? There was barely a minute between him stuffing his face and falling all over the place. Some quick, panicked googling confirms that coffee makes spiders a kind of drunk, but it doesn’t say if it’s outright toxic to them.

Oh fuck, what if he's dying!? Oh god, what if a superhero dies in your bed? How will you explain this to your landlord? Or the police! “I fed him coffee cake, and it killed him, officer.” Right, that’s going to go over like a lead balloon! It’ll probably look like you poisoned him. TMZ will be swarming the place. You'll be classified as a supervillain.

Setting down the book, you make your way over to sit on the edge of your bed. You lean over his sleeping form and peer down at him, checking for any signs of physical distress.

That red flush from earlier is still riding high on his cheeks, looking like the beginnings of a fever. You reach out your hand to rest it on his forehead to check his temperature.

Warm.

He stirs at the touch, turning his face and practically nuzzles into your palm. It’s almost endearing as he buries his sharp nose into your wrist.

You hold your breath, worried that exhaling would be loud enough to wake him as you gaze down on him. Up close like this, when he's not being rude, and stubborn and defensive, he's... quite attractive.

He has the kind of sculpted face that Hollywood dreams are made of, angular jaw and a prominent nose that makes him look regal. Not to mention those chiselled cheeks of his are a fucking marvel to look at. But more than that, curled up asleep in your bed, there’s a gentle softness to his features that hadn’t been noticeable when he was awake.  

Now that  he’s not frowning down at you and the line of his mouth isn’t pulled into an angry snarl, you can see that his lips are full and luscious, delicate even. His heavy brows look less intimidating now that his face has relaxed from its perpetual scowl. 

He looks... soft, somehow.

There's a spark of something heated in your veins that has you feeling flushed and warm. You have to turn your eyes, shaking your head and tutting at yourself, because you’re creeping on the drunk guy passed out on your bed, and it’s not a good look on you. 

The commotion makes him stir, his eyes blink softly open. He looks up at you, with half-lidded eyes, and it's different from how he's looked at you up until now. His gaze is still so…. soft.

"Nena," he says quietly.

Your cheeks warm at the warmth in his voice , and you gently pull your hand away from his forehead.

"Sorry, I was just checking if you were okay," you explain awkwardly as you start to back away from him, sliding your knee along the mattress to climb off the bed.

At your movement, he darts upright into a seated position and pulls you to him, clinging onto every inch of you as he buries his face to your side. 

“Don't go,” he murmurs into your neck. His voice is trembling, and you can feel the panic radiating from him as the grip he has on you tightens until it’s bruising.  

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he says, keeps repeating it. You don’t know what he’s apologizing for but the guilt and sadness in his voice tugs at something deep inside your chest. 

Nena, he said, and you realize that even though you're the one he's holding in this moment, he's not talking to you. He thinks you're someone else.

"Please don't leave me again. I-I can't–" he chokes out the words into the hollow of your throat where he's pressed his face tight into your skin. You can't help but notice the damp wetness that gathers there. "I'm trying, but I can't– I don't know how to do this without you."

The words are raw in his throat, and despite your confusion, your chest squeezes tight with a sympathetic ache at the man's obvious heartbreak.

You don't know what's going on here or who he thinks you are. The only thing you know is that you want to make him feel better. To make his hurt a little less painful. To make the consuming guilt you can hear in his voice a little bit smaller. 

"It's okay," you say. 

What the it refers to, you have no idea. But the least you can do is to give the man who has saved your life over and over, a tiny crumb of comfort.

You return his embrace, circling an arm around his shoulder, matching the tightness with which he’s holding you. Your other hand slides into his hair and he shivers at the touch, face burying deeper into your neck.

"I'll protect you,” he murmurs into your skin, “I can do better this time. Keep you safe. I promise.”

"It's okay. It’s okay. I’m already safe," you reassure him, giving him the only truth you know for sure in this moment, "You saved me."

Dedication & Credits: as always to my collaborator on this series, who helps me brainstorm, write, edit and beta-read and everything in between and over with this series. This exists because of her, and I am so grateful to her. The hours I spend shouting into her DMs and bother her on the daily since this series infected my mind. You guys don't know what I put poor @thirstworldproblemss through.

Also to @guruan who was kind enough to read through this and steer me in the right way with the spanish, but also for giving me porn that has kept my brain buzzing for days!!!

Please follow both of these insanely lovely, kind and talented people.

Author's note: the Spanish in this chapter has been left untranslated on purpose, so that it's left ambiguous whether reader speak/understand Spanish. The idea is that if you as a reader understand it, then so does the reader, and vice versa 🥰

I don’t have a tag list but please follow me on astroboots-writes and turn on notifications to be notified when I post something new!

[neil-gaiman]

Hello, I know I’m a little late after the release of good omens season 2 but I did only watch it at most 7 days after it’s release on BBC iplayer (or Amazon Prime, my memory is bad I can’t remember what platform I watched it on). I have only just thought of something to say:

how dare you

I’m joking I’m sorry, beautiful and tragic and I never cry over films or shows but this was one of the few that had me… verging on tears (trust this is not a criticism but one of the highest compliments I can give lmao). The love the loss all that poets like me love for 😔💔💔💔.

I can’t wait for season three if it comes, and thank you (coincidental or not) for making all the fan canons canon, that was really fun to have us included. I’m asking for the book of good omens from my parents and I’d love to see your work written as I’ve loved all your books so far.

another topic to bring up: casting. Just 👏👏👏👏✨✨ bring one of the (if not the) best welsh and Scottish actors together. David and Micheal are becoming my world in the topic of acting. It’s just brilliant.

finally the questions, sorry if this was formal I just want to express my gratitude for how f-ing amazing the series was. Sorry if these questions have been asked before I’m just here to ask:

since there were obviously some fandom inclusion in s2 is there any chance we might be seeing theories or headcanons from the fan base become canon? For example the coffee theory might not as that could change the whole plot but little things like ships or backstories might be considered?

what are your thoughts on the coffee theory? Is it somewhat accurate? Does it intrigue you how creative people get? Are you shocked the fan base is that amazing at guessing your plots? Haha

is it conformed that Crowley was archangel Raphael pre-fall since he could access the files in Heaven?

And what are your thoughts on the ways your fan base is going? Are you proud of how good omens is doing ? And how silly creative your fans are? Do you like what people are doing with your creations?

thank you for reading !! seeing all your interviews and replies to past questions makes you seem like a really fun guy, you’re amazing ! I’ve made several friends start watching just so I can get rant to them and possibly get a s3 !!

- a very silly reader and watcher who was painfully formal in this ! :)

If there was fandom theory inclusion in Season 2 I wasn't aware of it, and I'm doing my very best to keep as far as I can from any Season 3 theories or ideas.

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Spy x Family S1

"Proof that the foreign minister wears a toupée. I even have the negatives." "Well done. Now we can force him to resign." How could this possibly be enough to force a resignation? Is wearing a toupée a sign of dishonesty or shame in this cultural context??

"In an era in which the nations of the world were waging a fierce war of information just out of sight, this man survived the battlefield by being a master of disguise." Ooooh is this a historical anime? How fun!

Update from 1 minute later: The newspaper confirms this as a Cold War-era story!! Colour me intrigued

"Farewell. May you find happiness." What a polite end to such a callous breakup LMAO

Why does Donovan Desmond look so incredibly haunted LOL

"In order to achieve this [spy mission] you will get married and have a child." Ah, there we are with the premise!

Of all the spy strengths they've displayed thus far, I am most impressed with this blond man's ability to pull a newspaper apart without bending it. You must need to generate a lot of force:

"Yeah, sure. Take whichever one you want." This is about the average regard for orphans in Shonen Anime Societies

"This little girl happened to be a telepath." She's a WHAT NOW? What a casual way to introduce this fact

Honestly the random facts about what Anya likes and the bursting into tears with unclear motivation seems very much a realistic parent and child experience

"I just don't understand this irrational behaviour." I love how quickly Loid Forger aka Twilight, International Spy, has been foiled by this tiny, psychic child

Loid is approaching parenthood very casually so far. Surely a spy (pretending to be a psychologist, even) can recognize the psychological impact of abandonment on a child

Fjlkjfljflf what kind of society allows Loid to barricade his six (or maybe four) year-old child inside their apartment unsupervised all day LMAOOO

SCREAM not Anya immediately revealing their location from playing spy games. Also a very realistic problem to have

"Boss, I think we should just give up on the toupée." [Pulls out a gun and shoots him] "Transparency is essential in government. Toupées are a no-go." WHY ON EARTH ARE TOUPÉES THE ULTIMATE SPY PLOT DEVICE JFKJFJF

Love that the betrayal of the nation is SECOND to the toupée. They said: Wigs are for liars and cowards

"No one reached out their hand to save me. I felt alone, in despair, and so powerless all I could do was cry." We have unlocked Loid's parental instincts AND his tragic backstory in the span of 1 and a half minutes

"I'm a failure as a spy? No. My mistake was putting that little girl in danger to begin with. How could I forget? To create a world where children won't have to cry... That's why I became a spy." Alright Loid, colour me charmed:

Ahhhhhh I love Loid giving his enemy the chance to go back to his daughter instead of attacking him

Loid deciding to take Anya back with him despite all his misgivings bc he wants to give her a home 🥺💘 HE'S NICE

"Papa is a huge liar. But he's such a cool liar." Awww, Anya

I can see how being psychic and being able to hear every single child's confusion during a test would be distracting

"I... relaxed? What the hell is going on with me?" FATHERHOOD

"It is mandatory that the applicant attend with both parents. Absolutely no exceptions." For a society with such a cavalier approach to violence and orphans (at least where Loid goes), you'd think they'd be more accepting of single parents

Everyone's absolutely on Yor's ass for being a single 27-year-old. [Yor as Charlotte Lucas voice] I'm 27 years old. I have no money and no prospects. I'm already a burden to my brother—

"I have a client for you, Thorn Princess." Is Thorn Princess Yor's sleeper agent activation phrase? Her whole face darkened

Clearly Yor doesn't have the same violence-aversion as Loid:

Yor ready to fall in love with anyone who's nice to her. Mgkjgkg but same perhaps

"A spy...An assassin...? I'm... so excited!" [Narrator voiceover] "The little girl was straving for entertainment." The narrator's interjections are very funny

HAHAHAHA I love that they're both trying to fake date each other for very different reasons. Incredible, 10/10, love this

It's fun that Franky, spy gadget guy, is also now mission back-up

Also I take back everything I said about Loid's violence aversion

"I'll be sure to tell your brother that you came alone." Why is every woman that Yor works with (and, it seems, every woman with more than one line in this show thus far) seem to be so mean-spirited LOL

HFHLKHGLHGLGH Loid showing up to the party covered in blood and introducing himself as her husband when she needed a boyfriend. We love a spy who is terrible at his job

Loid managing to somehow make a really amazing impression on this party by being hot and defending Yor's past as a masseuse (murderer). GOOD FOR HIM

"The concussive recovery method is the latest in modern medical practices." Imagine going to your doctor for a prescription and having them kickbox you into submission LMAO

"Um, Loid-san, this may not be the best moment to ask, but why don't we get married?" SCREAMING AT YOR BEING THE ONE TO PROPOSE AND HOW KNOCKS THE WIND OUT OF LOID:

"No matter what hardships await us, let us be there for one another." [Explosions go off in the background] Colour me sold on this grenade-pin ring and spy-assassin romance

I love that they're going on a little family outing to prep for their interview

I can also understand how a political rally would be stressful for Anya

"I've completed countless missions, yet once again I find myself losing heart." Loid will eventually get used to his girls who are obssessed with nuts and knives 💞

All of them calling attention to themselves by helping an old lady deal with a purse snatcher ❣️ I love this family. I've only had the Forgers for two episodes but if anything happened to them I would [redact] everyone in this room and then myself

"I guess... receiving thanks every once in a while wouldn't hurt." "Papa is a softie." YEAH HE IS

"Papa and Mama are flirting." "No we are not!" HEE HEE

"Anya, are you going to be okay in this crowd?" Dad Mode Activated

Ohhhhhhh Anya helping the cow through her fear. Baby!!!!

OHGHGLGHLKGH setting aside how they managed to have at least three outfits in that suitcase, I really want to know how the quick change is happening in the middle of this cobblestone pathway to the school

"Why are you getting irritated, Loid? She's not even your real wife." I love that whenever someone makes an out-of-pocket insult to Yor (her coworker calling her a whore, this dorm master critiquing her lack of cooking) Loid jumps in and he's like, HEY, THAT'S MY WIFE

"My Papa and Mama are both so much fun, and I love them very much. I want to be with them forever." I also want this family to stay together forever, Anya 💗

Both Yor and Loid ready to fight this jerk for making their daughter cry!! I love them

The hope that Loid has because of his new family. This is really fulfilling a deepseated psychological need that I had to watch an anime that's just about a nice man

"He might just be the best spy in Westalis, so don't worry too much." With all due respect, that doesn't say much for the other spies, considering how suspiciously Loid acts everywhere he goes

Yor genuinely considering murdering someone to get her daughter into school 💝 Parenting!

"I appreciate the attempt at consolation, my elegant boy." This is how I will be responding to all attempts for someone to comfort me from now on

Loid just carrying a party popper around in his pocket for when Anya gets in. I LOVE HEEEM

Loid can waste government resources on a little play mission for his family. As a treat

"He's requesting agents. As many as possible," incredible how Loid immediately folds to his daughter's request to be attacked by enemies LMAOOO

HAHAHAHA Loid telling them in morse code it's an imperative part of Operation Strix, which is technically true, but not at all for any reason they would think

The way they're all like, "I will JUMP at the chance to attack Loid, been waiting my whole life for this," is also really fun

I was waiting for the spy costume. I am so glad it is a plot point

I can't decide what I enjoy more, Loid's blush over having to put on the costume mask, or the way the other spies are fangirling over him

Loid getting his butt kicked by Yor in this drunk roleplay does make me wonder if we're going to see that her assassination missions run contrary to his goals of peacekeeping

"I've come to save you, Princess Anya." "Papa!" "Wait, I'm supposed to be your dad in this?" AWWWW ANYA JUST WANTED TO HER DAD TO ACT OUT SAVING HER

In fairness to Anya's fear of kidnapping, she has been kidnapped before!

"Though, you're usually on the ball, so [discussing Operation Strix Phase 2] may not be necessary." "Well... I may actually be off my game lately." At least Loid's willing to own up to it LMAOOO

Firstly, what happened just now was definitely an attempted [redacted] crime, which is hideously uncalled for, what the fuck. But secondly: I love Yor and Anya bonding time

"I know it's really dangerous to be an Eden student now. But it won't be as scary if I train. I can do my best at school without dying!" I do love the idea of teaching this tiny child fighting techniques, but my god, what a thing to say

"Even if I can't be like a normal mother, I'm going to do everything I can for her." YOOOOOOOOOOOOR I love you

"She's already realized how amazing I am and fallen for me." Incredible confidence from Damian Desmond, Very Rich Six-Year-Old LMAO

"Mama, you liar. Smiling didn't help at all." I am very entertained by Anya's psychic child conflict management

Ffjhfkhfk I really do love the way that Anya tries her best to do things in a way that her parents would most approve of. Smiling first, trying to not get in trouble in front of the teacher when she punches Damian, claiming defence of a friend. She's a good kid!

What will Loid, who is not actually a psychologist, be doing during the day while Anya goes to school and his wife does her work. I hope it involves costumes

Update from 1 minute later: At the very least, it involves stalking elementary students from a rooftop

Update from 4 minutes later: IT DID INVOLVE COSTUMES!

Also. Also. How the hell would Loid's plan work if his daughter was NOT psychic. Like yeah yeah yeah, she knows she's supposed to be a good student. But it doesn't seem like he's explicitly told her out loud to be friends with Damian. So is he just hoping for her organic success? It's a good thing his baby knows exactly what he's thinking LMAO

I love that Becky has decided to be Anya's no. 1 supporter. She needs a friend!!

"Why do I find it so hard to speak when she's in front of me?" In a very expected turn of events, lil Damian has a crush:

"Plan B is done for." You are wrong Loid! Plan Befriend has simply turned to Plan Boy Has a Crush on Your Daughter

This at-home tutoring really resonates with my experience of being the child of Asian parents with high expectations when it comes to their children's innate talent for math

"No, Yor. You're not a stranger, nor part of someone else's family. Right now, you're the mother of the Forgers. I'm counting on you to provide whatever I'm lacking." AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I love the Forgers

I loveeee this parenting discussion around positive reinforcement

"I wonder what it'd feel like to have a real family," said Loid, tits deep in a family and fatherhood

"My sister got married?" I was waiting for this ball to drop. Can't wait!

NOT BABY BROTHER YURI BEING EMPLOYED BY THE TORTURE DEPARTMENT OF THE GOVERNMENT OMG

"[Twilight] is the villain who is trying to make this world fall into chaos. You could call him my natural enemy." NOT BABY BROTHER YURI ANNOUNCING HIS INTENTIONS TO MERC HIS BROTHER-IN-LAW WHO HE'S ABOUT TO MEET AT DINNER:

I gotta say, despite them introing with assassinations, I do feel like Yuri represents a drastic tone shift for this show

"Yuri... I mean, my younger brother is coming here today! [Loid's voice raises several octaves] "Today?" The voice crack was funny. Back to family shenanigans

As a sister. I AM SICK OF THE SISTER COMPLEX JOKES. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, BABY BROTHER YURI, ANIME AS A GENRE, AND WHATEVER JAPANESE SOCIETAL NORM THAT ALLOWS THIS TO BE A CONSTANT IN SO MANY DIFFERENT STORIES?

"What could my sister possibly like about this guy?! Just because he can cook a little, and he's handsome, and tall, and considerate, and a doctor," It sounds like Yuri is talking himself into having a crush on Loid????

Wow, Loid has made Yuri as an intelligence agent within like, mere minutes of meeting him. Maybe Loid is a great spy!

Ahhhh, so the reason Yor took up killing as a job was to put her little brother through school. How honourable!

"Kiss here and now." I can't decide if this is terrible or fun. Maybe both. My money is on Anya interrupting to see her Uncle

I do appreciate that Yor has never been kissed! It makes sense, given her murder job, and I feel like we don't often get 20somethings without prior entanglements

HDJHDKJDHDHD this is so unhinged and weird. Jesus. Yuri Briar puts the B in Behnchod

"Loid Forger. You may lay claim to my sister's lips for now." WHAT A THING TO SAY

"So, let's do everything we can to make sure Yor is happy." Loid is THE Husband. There are no other husbands, just him!

"Children are so curiously observant at times," said Loid, about his daughter who is literally telepathic

"It's a terrible idea to date a woman while deceiving her," said Loid, as if that has not been the premise of his ENTIRE romantic history thus far

I think Loid is starting to develop (romantic) feelings:

You know, I haven't really commented on the horn cap thing, but I do wonder if they are to do with Anya's powers rather than just a fun little design thing

I need you to see what I'm looking at when they tell me this is Bill Watkins, Age Six:

I do like all the montages of how all of these children (and Bill Watkins, Deeply Suspicious Age Six) were preparing for this dodgeball tournament

SCREAM THE CUT TO THE DRAGON BALL Z NAMEK BACKGROUND

Damian taking the dodgeball bullet for Anya. Love u little guy

Calling it right now, with all this lead-up, I don't think Anya's throw is going to work out the way she wants

Update from a few seconds later: Yep, that was correct!

Gnjghkgjhgkjhg Loid loves Anya too much to be strict with her so he is engaging in quite a permissive parenting style

ANYA TRYING TO SAVE THE LITTLE BOY FROM DROWNING WHEN SHE'S JUST A LITTLE GIRL HERSELF. SWEETEST BABY ALIVE

DAD'S HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANYA EARNING HER FIRST STELLA! YEAH BABYGIRL

I like how they do a count of her Stellas (merit points which lead to the Imperial Scholar Society of Parent War Instigation) and Tonitrus Bolts (demerit points which lead to expulsion) whenever Anya gets closer to her goal

Also, bonkers that getting a Stella doesn't cancel out your Bolt? It's like, forgive, but never forget

Fhkhfkjfhfkjh Anya deciding she'll only respond to Starlight Anya. Very Six-Year-Old Behaviour

"Do you really think we go to some third-rate school that would hand out a Stella by mistake?" Damian continuing his chivalry streak

1) Extremely rude of the people to treat the dogs that way and 2) Does that big white dog's flash to the Forger family mean that we have unlocked a psychic puppy subplot?

I have been thinking since Damian was introduced that he and Anya are paralleling the Syaroan and Sakura Archetypes, but there is no greater Cardcaptor Sakura parallel than the fact this episode is called Penguin Park

"Please wait, Papa, who is a good and normal person." 10/10 spy deception Anya, no notes

Gghkhgkghkg Loid being yelled at by his Spy Juice Lady for not prioritizing this other mission. How does no one overhear this!!

"Mama, I'm being kidnapped," said Anya, as if she did not latch onto this spy herself to help out her dad's Penguin Mission

It's incredible how many of Loid's problems are solved just by him being hot:

Awwwwww I'm glad they did some actual family time after the Aquarium mission. Also I love how embarrassed Loid is every time has to do something silly, like pretending to be a Penguin Plushy for his kid, but how he'll immediately do it, even in public. Best dad!!

"Being both a Papa and an agent... must be tough balancing the two." Real and true, spy chauffeur

I love how they do parallel plots between family stuff and spy stuff. Anya looking for a puppy... Dad looking for bomb dogs!

They are in fact explaining the psychic puppy subplot

"It is far too early for Anya-san to get married!" Yor, I would like to study the way your mind works (also mom's here!!!!!!!!!!!!)

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHH EXTREMELY TRAUMATIZING FOR ANYA TO HAVE TO WATCH HER DAD'S IMMINENT DEATH BY EXPLOSION THROUGH DOG-O-VISION

That was an incredibly morose diatribe from The Handler, who is the only spy other than Loid to get a title/name

How is this baby supposed to disarm a bomb?!?!?!??

Ahhhh, by leaving a ketchup message for her dad on the door that says "NO! (Drawing of Bomb)" Of course! We love a girl who knows how to improvise

Dad has got back in the danger zone to stop the last of the Foreign Affairs Minister's terrorist threats, fair enough! I really hope they don't make him [redacted violence involving animal]

OH THANK GOD THEY HAD HIM ATTACK THE VEST AND NOT THE DOG—I WAS PRETTY CONFIDENT THEY WOULDN'T DO THAT TO LOID, BUT YOU NEVER KNOW WITH ANIME

From Yor's perspective, Loid has been in the bathroom for two full episodes

Yor kicking Keith the Radicalized Student Terrorist's car off the road after he has been discovered by Anya and foiled by Loid. We love a team effort!

"How many times must I tell you not to run off alone because it's dangerous?!" [Tearfully] "I'm sowwy." Awwww a very reasonable worry for your daughter who keeps running into every spy mission she possibly can

"I also had a daughter about her age." The Handler's tragic backstory unlocked?!

"Be prepared to take care of him until the end. I may have no right to say those words." Loid's dog care advice has accidentally turned into existential dread about adopting a child for the sake of a peacekeeping mission

Awwwwwww Yor taking cooking classes from her workplace enemy to be a better cook for her family

"Camilla-san has always been a nice person," said Yor, about the woman who called her a whore in front of a room full of people and tried to scald her with hot food on like Episode 2

"The more I savour each bite, the more I see my life flash before my eyes." Say what you will about Weird Brother Yuri, he is supportive

Admittedly this cooking lesson episode has made me like Camilla

HAHAHAHA the "They are whispering" caption so the viewer can understand why no one's reacting to the yelling about spy intel on Scruffy's potential lover

Awwwwwww Loid opting out of the family outing to comfort his little scruffy friend, who I have just re-learned is named Franky

LMAOOOOO at them just having Henderson-sensei do literally all of the classes. Top-tier writing

The Handler now has unlocked TWO new names, which are Sylvia Sherwood and Fullmetal Lady

"On the one day each month that Mister Moon goes away, Anya's power to read minds goes away too." Oooooh new psychic baby lore unlocked

Even though I don't care for Weird Brother Yuri, it is nice that Anya has someone outside of her parents to rely on for tutoring

Loid covering for Incompetent Spy Daybreak jkhfkhfkjhf

I love that Loid broke into the school, not to boost his daughter's grades, but rather to check that she didn't fail and leave it that way, and then reverse cheat (as in, undo someone's wrongdoing) to make sure two other students got their earned grades. What a man!

Ffljlfjjflkj Becky objectifying Anya's dad. I know they're six, but it's not a trope I love

"I was trying to report the cigarette I found, then he punched me." I know this is a scheme but what kind of society has SIX-YEAR-OLDS plausibly smoking???

"Second Son wouldn't do that! Anya was watching." Heck yeah Anya standing up for Damian (even though her Damian motives are decidedly ulterior LOL)

"Don't try to drag me into these adult matters in the first place!" An incredibly reasonable request from Damian

Gdljljggjglkj I love these kids telling Glooman 'Actually, the biggest problem is you have a bad personality' True and real and cutting

"Don't worry. The West is a safe place." ANYAAAA. Something something children and their ability to see people outside of the confines of politics

"There's saltwater pouring out of my eyes." The implication that George has not cried once in his six years of life LMAOOOO

Genuinely heartwarming to see all these kids singing for George and giving away their favourite school items for his sake (also I bet you $5 he doesn't actually have to quit this school)

Update from two minutes later: I was correct lol

I've been thinking about this since the hospital volunteering, but it is kind of a flaw in Loid's spy tactics to choose a public-facing job, because at any point someone could just walk into the hospital and realize he doesn't work there kjhgkjhgg like he should've just been some sort of private practice

Loid running home to "check on what Yor was doing at the school" but actually using it as an excuse to ask her on a lunch date <3

As if the show could psychically tell that I was wondering about it, they are now forcing Loid into a "Take Your Kid to Work Day" situation lmaooo

"[Loid] became an important part of our team as soon as he transferred in." How is Loid an important part of the staff if he's constantly out of hospital doing spy stuff??? How is he even capable of giving psychological care???

"To go with the rest of the facade, a number of my coworkers have also inflitrated this hospital." Ah, perhaps the fact he has a research position and other spies in the hospital is enough to cover his absences and maybe make him have fake patients

Honestly, it's a wonder Anya hasn't run into more problems in the spy realm recently other than getting stuck in a secret passage

HHGKJHGKJHGKJGH Loid taking Anya's improvised sandbox of toys as a sign of deep psychological distress

"He golfs at his workplace and creates shady channels." In every class there is one child who has the most chaotic possible interpretation of their parents' job (the kid who says their parent stabs people for money when really their parent is a tattoo artist) and Anya has decided to be that student

"But if Mrs. Forger just happened to retire, that position would have to be filled, would it not?" Why is Fiona so comically evil about getting to fake marry Loid

"But... this woman doesn't seem to have any flaws in her appearance." Even Father-snatcher Fiona Frost thinks Yor is hot

"To think the great Twilight is stuck playing house.. It's a disservice to the world." Loid said: Fuck you Fiona, I like playing house!

This silent spy standoff has certainly taken a turn:

I actually kind of love that Loid is faced with someone else who has feelings for him, because I KNOW for certain he will choose Yor, and I think that's good for Yor to see

"You're already working hard enough, Yor. That's why Anya is so fond of you. I couldn't ask you to do anything more." HE LOVES HERRRRR

I really resonate with Yor's Girls Who Are Bad At Stuff representation kjhgkgjh

"Agent Penguin suffered honourable injuries in battle." Loid sewing up his daughter's penguin stuffy and making up a backstory for their dog chewing him up ❤️ I love hiiiim

I appreciate that Fiona confirms from someone who knew him before Loid has been changed by love (for Yor and Anya)

NOT THE DOUBLE FAKE TENNIS COUPLE NAMES BEING TWAIN AND NAFALIA PHONY

Though, now that I think of it, I guess Loid's given last name is Forger, so really this is a pattern of very silly names

"We've been developing a new doping agent called OSO-R along with the government in preparation for the upcoming East-West Sports Exhibition." Every so often they dip back into the crime world, and today it's sports doping

"I wonder what her relationship with Loid is." Yor babygirl, you do not need to worry about her, Loid is fully Team Yor

I love this little look into all the different things that come up in an infiltration (having to be very good at specific things like tennis, dealing with potential poisons, compensating for traps)

"You're still young, and you're clearly talented. From now on, hone your craft properly. I'm sure you'll become an amazing player." "Twain, I'll really do my best from now on!" Aside from being an incredible professional tennis player, Loid's talents also include reforming his opponents into better people:

Fhfhfkjhfkfjhf Loid every time Fiona comes near Yor: Hey, please leave my wife alone

"Come at me with everything you've got." "Uh, don't, Fiona." Loid knows Yor has enough physical might to beat a hundred tennis players

Yor wanting Loid to praise her for winning the match 🥺❤️

Loid taking Yor on a reassurance date to let her know she's still #1

"Wait, does Yor have romantic feelings for me?!" TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH, BUT YOU GOT THERE, LOID

NOT LOID IMMEDIATELY SWITCHING TO PLAN HONEY TRAP AND YOR ACCIDENTALLY KICKING SOME SENSE TO HIM

"I can't let my guard down like that. Somehow, being with Yor throws me off." Loid, you stupid man, who can't see that him AND his wife have feelings for each other

"I would love for you to continue being Anya's mother. And to continue in the role of my wife." This is the most honest thing Loid has said in hours

Anya getting Becky a keychain because she didn't think she was allowed to get one for herself!! Sweet girl

What kind of father has ZERO time to interact with his son LMAO (Donovan Desmond, apparently)

"Anya's a little scared because she's not sure if Papa loves her or not. He always gets mad at me. But I believe in him because I love him." ANYAAAAAAAAAA

Papa Desmond and his truly haunting eyes finally make an on-screen appearance and meeting with Loid:

"Even the child that shares your blood is a stranger." Is this a general view from Donovan on his parent-child relationships or is this a shot at Loid for not being Anya's biological father?

"People will never be able to understand each other." What a thing to say about your six-year-old, who is standing right in front of you with his friends

"What's truly important is to continue walking them despite [not understanding each other]. I decided that I would accept her regardless, and I try to find every opportunity I can to talk to her." Loid laying spy ground work on top of challenging Donovan to be a better father. We love a man who can multitask

"I'm pretty sure she doesn't actually dislike you. It'd make me happy if you could be friends with her." "Well, I want to, too..." Gjhgjhgjhfjlfj Loid is also working on Operation Playdate

This has been a pretty delightful show so far. Spy x Family proving to everyone you can fight people AND be nice!!!!

[cosmerelists]

How Well Cosmere Characters Would Do At Speed Dating

"Speed dating" is an event where a bunch of people move from table to table, having like 5-minute conversations with a bunch of different partners. Then people fill out cards ranking the people they met, and the organizer pairs up any people who both feel that they hit it off. Basically, it's a way to meet a lot of potential romantic partners in a very short span of time.

So let's say that yesterday, for Valentine's Day, Cosmere characters attended such an event. How did it go for them?

1. Kaladin: It went badly; 0/10 stars

People have to reach like Friendship Level 5 to unlock Kaladin's tragic backstory. People talking to him for like five minutes will only read his surface vibe: glowering, uncomfortable, and tall. He might get some good ratings for sheer hotness, but I don't think he's walking out of this with any dates (if only because HE doesn't rate any particularly high).

2. Adolin: It went SO well; 10/10 stars

Adolin (single in this universe I guess) is personable, good at flirting, and very adept at getting dates. He's being ranked as a top-tier catch by everyone he meets, and he's ranking everyone he sees as top-tier too because hey, he could probably maybe see it working out for a while. That boy's calendar is FULL for the next month.

3. Elend: It was not great; 3/10 stars

Elend is obviously carrying a book the whole time, and he has a tendency to start reading during the conversation, even though--again--each conversation is only five-minutes long. Most of his partners find this rude and off-putting, but he'd get a least a couple who are intrigued either by him or by his book.

4. Leshwi: It was okay; 5/10 stars

She's magnificent and tall, so that's gonna get her some positive feedback. I also do genuinely think Leshwi is good at connecting with people. On the other hand, she keeps asking when the "stabbing part starts," and, uh, that doesn't go over very well with most of the people.

5. Denth: It was pretty great; 8/10 stars

To be honest, Denth would be GREAT at speed dating. He's disarmingly funny and self-deprecating but in a self-confident way. He might lose a few potential partners who are like, "Ew, mercenaries" but I do think he's walking out of there with plenty of dates if he wants to.

6. Ulaam: It was mostly a failure; 1/10 stars

He's quick with a compliment, but his compliments are usually along the lines of, "What a nice elbow you have. Can I have it? Only after you die of course, ha ha!" I'm sure there's at least one person who's into that, though.

7. Kelsier: It went great; 9/10 stars

I think Kelsier would be great at speed dating if he wanted to be. He can definitely smile and get people on his side. He 100% has an ulterior motive for this speed dating thing, though...

8. Shallan: It was so-so; 5/10 stars

Can Shallan rock a social event? Yes. Can she resist making that slightly inappropriate pun when the opportunity presents itself? Absolutely not. For this reason alone, I think her ratings are...varied.

9. Charlie: He ranks it 10/10 but everyone else ranks it 0/10

Charlie has EXACTLY the speed dating experience he wants! AKA, he is as boring as possible so that nobody wants to date him. He has a great time. Nobody else does.

10: Nightblood: People died; 0/10 stars

The people who partnered with Nightblood either tried to unsheathe him and died, or being near Nightblood just made them feel sick. Nightblood had a great time! (And is not allowed back.)

[peppymintdreams]

Crime and Idiocracy

Isaac x Pickle

It’s time to relax and Isaac and pickle choose to watch a crime show but everything angers Isaac

It was supposed to be a relaxing evening. Pickle had curled up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn, Isaac lounging beside them, his feet propped up on the coffee table. The two of them had decided on a crime drama something simple to wind down with after a long day. At first, everything seemed fine. The detective had found the first clue, the crime scene was intriguing, and Pickle was getting into it.

But Isaac? Not so much.

"Wait, hold on," Isaac said, frowning at the screen. "Why are they bagging the evidence like that? The glove wasn’t even put in a sealed bag what are they, amateurs?"

Pickle chuckled, shoving a handful of popcorn into their mouth. "It's just a show, Isaac. They can't get everything right."

Isaac sighed, clearly unconvinced, but let it go for now. They watched in silence for a few more minutes, the plot thickening as the lead detective found a suspect, but Isaac’s expression grew darker with every passing second.

"No," he muttered, sitting up a little straighter. "No, no, no, this doesn’t make sense. Why would the killer leave a clue that obvious? That's literally the first thing you’d check! What kind of criminal mastermind are they supposed to be?"

Pickle tried to suppress a laugh. They knew Isaac had a tendency to overthink things, especially when it came to mysteries, but this was next-level frustration. “Maybe it’s a red herring,” they suggested. “You know, to throw the audience off.”

Isaac scoffed. “Throw the audience off? It’s throwing me off. That’s not how real investigations work! The guy would be caught in two seconds. Look at him! He’s practically announcing he did it. And why is the detective just standing there, acting like he’s solved the case already?”

Pickle raised an eyebrow, amused. “You could always turn it off if it’s that bad.”

“No,” Isaac said stubbornly, crossing his arms. “I want to see how much worse this gets.”

Pickle giggled, leaning into him. “You’re such a critic.”

“I’m not being a critic,” Isaac replied, though he was clearly annoyed. “I just hate it when shows don’t even try to be accurate. Like look, they didn’t even take fingerprints from the weapon. How are they going to solve this case if they’re ignoring basic forensics?”

Pickle smiled, resting their head on Isaac’s shoulder. “It’s for entertainment. Not everything has to be realistic.”

But Isaac was far from entertained. The show continued to throw curveballs, none of which seemed logical in Isaac’s eyes. By the time the detective miraculously found the killer based on a single, vague clue, Isaac was practically fuming.

“Are you kidding me?” he exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. “There’s no way he could’ve figured that out from a smudge on a window! They didn’t even check the alibis properly, and somehow they’ve solved the case in one episode? This is nonsense!”

Pickle burst into laughter. “You’re taking this way too seriously,” they teased, nudging him with their elbow. “It’s just a guilty pleasure. It’s not supposed to be perfect.”

Isaac ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head in disbelief. “Guilty pleasure? More like guilty torture. Who writes this stuff? They didn’t even do the bare minimum of research.”

“Maybe they thought no one would notice,” Pickle offered, still chuckling. “But I guess they didn’t expect you to be watching.”

Isaac rolled his eyes, though a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Yeah, well, I’d make a much better detective. At least I wouldn’t trip over the obvious clues or let a murderer walk right past me because I’m too busy brooding about my tragic backstory.”

Pickle snuggled closer, trying to stifle their amusement. “You’d probably solve the whole thing in five minutes and ruin the suspense.”

“I’d rather solve it in five minutes than spend an hour watching someone bungle their way through it,” Isaac muttered, though he seemed to be relaxing a bit now, the initial anger fading. “At least try to make it believable.”

“Maybe next time we’ll watch something more up your alley,” Pickle suggested. “Like a documentary or something with actual facts.”

Isaac let out a soft chuckle, wrapping an arm around them. “I think that’d be better for my sanity. But if you really want to watch this ridiculous stuff, I guess I can put up with it… for you.”

Pickle smiled, enjoying the warmth of his embrace. “It’s not about the show, anyway. It’s about spending time together.”

Isaac glanced down at them, the frustration in his eyes replaced by something softer. “You know what? You’re right. As long as I’m watching it with you, I guess I can tolerate the nonsense.”

Pickle grinned and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. “Good. But next time, you’re picking the show.”

Isaac smirked, already thinking of something more to his taste. “Deal. Just don’t be surprised if I pick something with actual logic.”

[struggling-jpg]

HSR 2.6 Quest Thoughts (Spoilers)

(Partially another Dan Heng love post -Resident Dan Heng Enjoyer /hj)

I liked how compact the cast and overall plot is! Definitely easier to follow the events and new characters, which was only a whole 2 of them, which I personally appreciated.

Rappa's backstory adding a tragic context surrounding her behavior and personality hit me harder than I anticipated. I wasn't sure what I was expecting but her being tied so closely to Dr. Primitive didn't even cross my mind prior, but it makes so much sense in hindsight. I was moved by her. I already liked her a lot before but the quest added to that as well. Also Master Shura was interesting to me. He was the "person in a questionable organization that actually questioned the morals of the organization" but the way he was handled intrigued me. Rather than a straightforward immoral -> moral type mindset, he concludes that morality is "a hypocritical and superficial concept" before killing Umbra Headmistress. He's better than the others there but he came across as more tragic in the end, which I find to be an approach that has me thinking about it after. Overall it's cool to see how connected Rappa is to the situation.

Also Mr. Reca is fun! Him being a Memokeeper and showing off the range of abilities/themes for those in the Garden of Recollection make me look forward to any potential Memokeeper characters in the future.

Having a quest go more into depth of Boothill was also nice! Seeing our Galaxy Rangers be expanded on a bit more is something I'm always happy to see. Hearing Nick mentioned by name made me lose it LOL, watch me break down in tears the moment his daughter is too. The sequence of him "falling" into the association's ideals made me more aware of how invested I am in his identity and goals. He made himself a living memorial of everyone he'd lost and the thought of him losing that unsettled me, so that section really got me the more I was made to think about it.

I appreciated how Robin explicitely notes that she still didn't have a "better answer" to the debate about the bird. Rather than having some answer at the end of the Penacony quest, she still has to think about it, and considering the complexities of that topic, I appreciate that it's treated as such by the characters.

Overall, the themes about evolution, ambition, identity, and individuality feel very fitting with Penacony and HSR as a whole. In a universe where there are billions of tragedies across the galaxies, where many factions and beliefs are born, clash, and either carry on or fade away, where dramas play out under the spotlight or in the darkest recesses of space, this is just another small anecdote in history's tapestry, and yet, to those involved, it's important. And in the end, that matters.

With that out of the way, now look at these pictures of Dan Heng (most of them of him saying "bana")

(Look at his small smile!!!)

(You go give the bare minimum, King!!!)

I play in the Japanese dub, so it's amusing to hear Ito Kent's take of a usually monotone Dan Heng being forced to say bana, bana in that serious monotone ToT

[justali-anne]

Thought Week: Flowey

Flowey is apparently the most popular character right now! And while that is really intriguing, I'm not surprised! He's one of the most complex and most tragic characters in the entire game. So, here are my thoughts about him.

(BTW, if you want to share your thoughts on Flowey, please reblog and share them! I love it when people come together to talk about a certain character, it brings a sense of community and I REALLY want to be a part of that. So please, reblog!)

(Also, the subheadings are gonna be colour-coded based on the character. I love colour-coded characters with a passion.)

First Impressions

I first encountered Flowey during my MLP phase when I was 11. I was watching a Fluttershy Plays Undertale Let's Play, and to be honest, I didn't think much of Flowey at first. To me, he was just the meanie that tricked Fluttershy into running into his friendliness pellets. I was more focused on Fluttershy, to be honest.

However, that is my earliest memory of Undertale. My first exposure to Undertale, funnily, wasn't Sans. It was Flowey. Well, Fluttershy, but Flowey was the first Undertale character I ever saw. Toriel was the second.

And I only just saw Flowey as a cheeky flower with a thirst for blood. I didn't look into him as anything more than that. Not until I got into Undertale as a 16 year old, anyway.

When I actually did get into the Undertale fandom and learned about his backstory, I thought, "Oh. That's a cool character. A sad one, but cool nonetheless." He was interesting, but not my favourite. I liked his sassiness and his tragic side and his creativity, but other than that, there just wasn't a lot I could say about him.

My Thoughts Now

Frick, I love this guy! Not as much as the Skelebros, but he's by far one of the most interesting characters in the whole game! While there wasn't a lot I could say about him in the past, there's definitely a lot I can say about him now!

By the way, I'm going to talk about Asriel here too, since I consider them to be the same person. Well... They are, but I think people tend to forget that.

One of my favourite things about Flowey (and Asriel) is that he's actually a genuinely creative person! He's creative in such a childlike manner, and I find that so very charming. Some of his incredible creations include things like...

Photoshop Flowey!

And the God of Hyperdeath!

Just look at this kid go!!!!! He is clearly a creative genius!!!!

No, but seriously, he gives heavy edgy 12-year-old vibes, and that just works so well, Toby Fox is so good at writing complex characters, it's just... AJEJHFHSJSJG. ...!?:.

It really hammers home that Flowey is a CHILD. He is a child who never got to grow up, who went through something insanely traumatic, who misses his best friend, whose loneliness has driven him to commit terrible acts just to FEEL SOMETHING. I used to see Flowey as a sadistic villain! But now it's just... sad. Sad and nuanced.

Even Flowey isn't all evil. Heck, I have a hard time even seeing him as evil anymore. He's definitely a bad guy, but he's just so... tragic.

Honestly, I think people often forget about Flowey's ability to be GOOD despite his lack of compassion. He is capable of making good choices! Mostly during the True Mercy ending, but even without a SOUL, Flowey is still capable of being nice. And that is another thing I like about him, and something I feel like should be discussed more often.

This is only one example.

Flowey and Asriel

There's a lot more I can say about him, but these are the first things that pop into mind when I think of him. He's such a sad character, it's not even funny. Personally, when I write him, I like to write him as very nuanced. His psychology is what I'm most interested in. The same can be said for a lot of characters, though.

To me, Flowey and Asriel are two sides of the same coin. Simultaneously, I see them as the same person. They represent periods in his life. Asriel for the simpler, happier times, before everything went to shit (excuse my language), and Flowey as the traumatised result of that shit.

And no matter what he does...

He can never get those simpler times back. And that's why Asriel can't stay...

People always talk about Asriel as this sweet-hearted, innocent crybaby, but I think that Flowey gives hints as to what he was really like in life. He was someone who would do anything to make his best friend happy, who liked to engage in mischief, who was a sore loser. And yes, I still think he was a kind-hearted soul... When he had a soul. I still think Flowey has some shades of kindness in there. Some emotions too.

Flowey ISN'T emotionless. I think we know that already, though. Throughout the game, Flowey displayed emotions like frustration, fear, excitement, sadness and grief. He GRIEVED for the loss of his compassion. For the loss of his best friend. But eventually, he just became numb to it, especially after he got the RESET ability.

Oh...

The Narrative

Flowey is up there as one of the most important characters in the entirety of Undertale. That is just a fact.

Story-wise, his death, as well as Chara's, set in motion the series of events that led to what the Underground is like by the time Frisk falls down. It created a whole domino effect! If it weren't for Asriel's death, Asgore would have never made that policy, Toriel would have never retreated to the Ruins, Alphys wouldn't have done those experiments, Sans wouldn't have found an anomaly in the timeline, and so on.

In a meta sense, Flowey is also the most important character, especially when it comes to resets and time loops. Imagine having the power to do whatever you want and take away the consequences. It sounds exciting, but eventually, you just grow numb to it all. Perhaps you'd want to try something different. Something more... extreme. He reflects the player in such a terrifying way, although I can argue that he had more freedom than Frisk because Frisk is literally being controlled by us, and in terms of exploration, we don't really stray off the path that much. But Flowey could go anywhere, do anything, and that's what makes him more scary.

Also, I've just had a thought. In typical RPG games, you come across enemies and bosses that you have to defeat (usually by killing or dismantling), and if you fail to do that, you die. "Kill or be killed".

And that's why Flowey's so important. If it weren't for Flowey, we wouldn't have Undertale the way it is. He's more than just the main villain, he's a representation of a player who's been playing the same game for far, far too long.

Conclusion

I like Flowey! He's not my favourite, but I can see why he would be to a lot of people. His tragedy, his creativity, and his role in the narrative are the three things that stick out to me about him the most.

But most of all... I love that he's essentially a bratty, traumatised kid.

I haven't covered every single aspect about Flowey, but this is just thoughts about him, this isn't an analysis or anything.

If you want to add your thoughts about Flowey, please please please please PLEASE add them in the notes! I wanna see people come together to talk about a character, it would be so cool!

See you tomorrow with Papyrus!

[akutasoda]

Hii I wanted to request you something since I have taken a liking to your quick and lovely writing<33

So my request; ranpo, dazai, poe with a s/o who is an enigma (like their whole personality and aura is so mysterious making them hard to figure out their true self)

It's alright if you don't do this!!

why so secretive?

synopsis - your whole existence is shrouded in mystery, but maybe that adds to you charm?

includes - dazai, ranpo, poe

warnings - gn!reader, fluff kinda??, slight angst, wc - 516

a/n: i glad you like my works! i hope you enjoy!

osamu dazai ★↷

↪he often thought he himself was quite the mystery, sometimes even priding himself in having an obscure backstory in the agency. but when he met you he just became so curious about what you were truly hiding.

↪and somehow throughout all the time he had known you up until you two actually started dating he still couldn't figure out anything about you! only what you told him, which was barely anything. this just made hom more determined to figure you out.

↪which didn't seem to be happening any time soon. sometimes he would try and pry information out of you and when you refused he would dramatically put his hand over his heart and say something about you hurting him.

↪although sometimes he wondered just how did you grow such a mysterious presence. and what had happened beyond you being here now. most times there's quite a tragic reason no? but maybe that's just how you are.

↪and at the end of the day he still couldn't help but feel encharmed by your personality and your whole self, it was just part of what made him love you.

ranpo edogawa ★↷

↪the greatest detective. one of the backbone's of the agency. stumped. at the enigma that was his lover. you and your cloud of mystery that you hung around yourself made him feel so comfused.

↪when he first met you, he never expected to not understand you or be able to guess anything about you. this just made him more determined to get to know you and figure you out.

↪but know here he was knowing only one thing. that he loved you and you loved him. but still he knew nothing outside of what you told him.

↪but surely he was getting close to figuring out things about you? because whenever he figured something out and asked you about you just kind shrugged at him.

↪because he knew that something made you the way you were, wether it was your history or your natural personality. one day he would figure you out. that he promised. who? who knows.

edgar allan poe ★↷

↪he was in all honesty quite intrigued but slightly intimidated by the aura you carried yourself with when he first met you. he couldn't tell anything about you and maybe that would make a good character in his new novel?

↪but once you two got more friendly and eventually became lovers, he still couldn't figure anything out about you. sure you told him a few things but that was it.

↪you found out eventually that he would use your personality to make his novels a bit more tricky and you couldn't help but smile.

↪sometimes he couldn't help but wonder about you constantly. he couldn't read you at all, he didn't know much about you and yet somehow in a strange way he felt he knew everything about you.

↪like the way that mystery clings to you is just, well you. and he loves you so why wouldn't he love the mystery that shrouds your true identity?

[sunray-sunray]

I'm not in the loop with the whole IWTV thing, but with the posts I've been seeing since yesterday I'm intrigued. Could you explain?

First of all, I'm glad you liked the posts @bookwormsontherun (although right now I don't know what posts you're referring to exactly), I normally try to not post too much of one topic but rather a good mixture of my interests :>

So, what is IwtV in general: Originally the movie IwtV from 1994 and the series that started in 2022 are the TV-adaptations from the book series "The Vampire Chronicles" by Anne Rice. IwtV is the title of book 1 and the plot of season 1, but they decided to stick to the title on further seasons too. Although they changed a few things in the series (the biggest fear of every reader), like the time frame, skin colour of a few characters and some locations, it turned out really good.

What is it about: Generally there isn't only one plot, because nearly every book has one of its own. The element or in this case the person who is connecting everything is the vampire Lestat (the blonde guy you probably saw in a post). In book 1 and season 1 + 2 Lestat's love Louis tells us how he experienced meeting him, getting turned into a vampire and then living with Lestat. A huge turning point is when there comes the tragically young vampire girl "Claudia" into the picture - she is in different ways very important to both of them and also a eternal memory of the author's daughter who died very young. Louis tells all of that to the reporter Daniel, who is recording it. Later on everything gets turned into a published book called (guess what) "Interview with the Vampire". 😄

Naturally the vampire community isn't very fond of people who are running around, telling the whole world about their existence. So this will be a upcoming problem to solve in the future season(s).

A person I have to mention too, is the vampire Armand, the former leader of the Parisian coven and a former lover of Lestat. I think in the series his part seems a bit changed, because now his relationship with Louis is much more visible. We see scheming, lying, gas lighting, anger and fear of loss issues, but also a sad backstory and a deep need to be loved.

In the upcoming season 3 the focus will be on book 2 "The Vampire Lestat" and maybe book 3 ("The Queen of the Damned"), where the point of view changes into Lestat's perspective. He gets his chance as a widely known rock star, publishes a book of his own (can you guess the title? 😂), meets very old and important people, and puts a few things right, which Louis said in his book.

Why would I recommend the books and the series: First of all because the writing itself is beautiful - the chosen language and the detailed descriptions of places and thoughts paint you a picture of the world the characters live in. Also don't expect a plot full of fast action, detailed sex scenes or joke after joke. It's not that. You come across questions about life, love, death, loss or your place in this world, and sometimes you need to look closely and think about things twice, before you can fully grasp the intention of a scene or chapter. But I like that - nowadays we are living in a time, where everything has to be fast and beautiful cinematic shots or descriptive things are not as important as before. Also with all the streaming platforms we are faced with a huge amount of series and movies, where everything needs to be evermore bigger, sexier or more brutal to survive. But in the case of the Vampire chronicles the fandom base is already there and pretty big, so they don't have to fight for every breath and are able to show us scenes, which are beautifully made, but with less action.

Secondly- the longer you read, the more you understand the characters and their decisions, which can be very complex or chaotic. Also it gets more and more apparent, that you can't trust just one perspective - you never know what the absolute truth is (if there is any, because everything is told from a wholly subjective view).

Thirdly: Anne Rice is an early example of writing about other sexual orientations than heterosexuality in a way that reached many people in quite a short time span (the 1st book was published 1976). This gets clearer and clearer in the later books and it's very interesting to see how the author is able to show you things without going into detail.

Fourthly: The cast and the producers are huge fans themselves, so they want to put as much of the books into the series as we do, which is great. For example they sometimes used the lines from the books word for word and if you know them it's beautiful to recognize them while watching :3

I hope this helps, thanks for your question! 🤗

[jewishgirlrevolt]

Objective review of episodes 1&2 of Agatha All Along, Coven of Chaos, whatever SPOILERS!!!! So many SPOILERS

It's intriguing. Agatha is woken up and we see that Westview knows exactly who she is and just kind of humored her as "Agnes" playing a long. She's the "cookie" neighbor.

Aubrey Plaza is awesome. I haven't seen her in much. So I have nothing to compare her performance to. Just that I thought she was good.

The Witches Road song is cool. Good harmonies.

What else: Some jump scares in episode 2.

What am I forgetting?

Ah yes: So Teen is um....a goth, witchcraft nerd. He's kind of like a male Willow Rosenberg. What is interesting is that Teen doesn't have a name or backstory that Agatha can hear. It gets all muffled. But he did drop that his mom died.

If he is Billy, his Jewishness is going to be a quick flashback to his bar mitzvah and will probably never be mentioned again. Because as we learned children, superhero films are apparently allergic to words like "Jewish."

There is still hope that he turns out to be Agatha's son, however. His obsession with Agatha, the fact that in the cool opening sequence where Agnes thinks she's a detective, her tragic detective backstory is her missing child. So maybe he is her son and those whole Billy Kaplan thing is a misirect. I hope. IDK. I'd rather he be anyone but Billy. But I have no hopes.

Ironically, the only time I could have maybe believed Joe was Billy Kaplan was when he was being a bitch to Agatha in her detective world. And not whatever we got later. There are some hints about how he wants the road for power, to fly and blast people. Why he wants those things we do not know. Also, he does have a boyfriend who is just "Boyf" and he "worries."

Also he better not be Billy because I have to say, a Jewish kid casting spells in Latin really rubs me the wrong way.

If you forget or don’t think about Billy. The shoe has potential. I’m just not sure what to make of it yet. Good mystery. All characters serve a purpose. Idk what purpose teen serves. But we’ll find out.

[izzysillyhandsy]

Thoughts about the finale, and my utter confusion about Izzy Hands

What I hated about Izzy's death wasn't him dying. I love a tragic arc, and although Con O'Neill elevated every scene he was in, it would have been ok if they'd handled his death better.

To have him die with only 10mins of the episode left (and this might even be the last ever episode!) was the first terrible decision. Everything that was built up over 2 seasons had to be resolved in a few minutes, we don't see any repercussions for anyone Izzy was important to - Ed, the crew and even Stede.

But the main criticism is the 180° turn the show made for his character arc in the last episode (or more precisely, in Izzy's last scene) and in David Jenkins' latest interviews.

Since season 1, I kept asking myself the same two questions:

What function does Izzy Hands have in the narrative? What is the nature of his relationship with Ed?

And the answers changed drastically from S1 to S2, and got more and more complex and intriguing.

Until the finale.

Izzy Hands as a plot device for the main couple

In S1, Izzy was an antagonist. His function in the narrative was to stand in the way of the Ed/Stede romance, of Ed growing and finding happiness and to move the plot along. He brought a lot of humour to almost every interaction he was in - he was such a fish-out-of-water character, clashing with everyone and constantly losing.

He was barely human - he was a pirate cliché.

But there was also so much going on in the background - his quiet desparation, his obvious love and longing for Ed, and these hints of a fascinating backstory between the two of them. This is what many fans picked up on, and going into S2 we hoped that we'd get more of this (for me personally the most important thing was clarification on Izzy's importance to Ed).

And then S2 came along and boy, were all of our expectations exceeded.

Suddenly, Izzy wasn't a plot device anymore. He was one half of the most intense (and interesting, sorry Stede) couple in the show. It was even confirmed by the showrunner that he was in a love triangle with the main couple!

In the first 2 episodes, we got so much more than we ever expected. At the end of Ep2, Izzy broke the lifeline with Ed, both of them almost dying in the process. He went on a journey of discovering who and what he even was without Ed (and right up to his death he was still deeply unhappy and broken, even though he was on the right path).

Izzy suddely became a fascinating character in his own right, with his arc of healing and self-acceptance and his inability (for now) to keep himself from sliding back into this relationship with his other half. He was blaming himself for everything that had happened. He was still so entangled with this man he built his whole life around. He still had a long way to go and a lot to work through (the same also applies to Ed btw).

But he also became the crew's unicorn, doing Izzy things (still related to Ed, always to Ed) but you could feel him becoming more himself. Slowly, Izzy's real personality started to shine through and we realized - this man is fascinating on his own accord. He's a respected and very capable pirate. He came from nothing and fought his way up. He's a really good teacher. He's creative and sensitive. He also cares about other people than Ed a lot.

Viewers who hated him or were indifferent to him in S1 suddenly became interested - this man's journey was fascinating and, most importantly, it wasn't at all finished. There was so much yet to come, and we wanted to see it.

Does this sound like a plot device to you? If it doesn't, bad news.

At the end of the final episode, Izzy is suddenly back where he was in S1.

He dies in a completely unnecessary way - almost as if how he died didn't matter. And it didn't matter, because in the end, Izzy Hands' journey didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was that he died and how it affected the main couple.

On his deathbed, Izzy is saying exactly what Ed needs to hear to move on. He absolves him of any guilt. Ed is ready. Izzy has played his part, he's ready to die.

Notably, nothing is really resolved for poor Izzy. Even if Ed says he doesn't want him to go, it's because Ed is losing his only family. He doesn't tell Izzy he loves him, or that he's important to him as a person, as his oldest friend, as the one who knows him best.

In the end, Izzy's function in the narrative, even after everything that happened in S2, was to be an obstacle to the Ed/Stede romance, to Ed growing and finding happiness. He had to die to free Ed of his Blackbeard persona and because "it's nice that Blackbeard is upset by it" (WTF).

The problem is, for the rest of the season, that wasn't Izzy's role in this show at all and I felt completely blindsided.

More than a spurned, jilted lover

"I guess it's a journey of redemption, but I think it's more a journey of finding out, who is he to Blackbeard?" According to Jenkins, Izzy is "more than a spurned, jilted lover." "What is that relationship about? And I think by the end of the season it kind of becomes a little unexpected of who they are to each other and what they mean to each other." (source)

I also made a poll about that question after Ep3 if anyone's interested.

The answer is, apparently, the two of them were Blackbeard. Or, Izzy was the brains behind the operation. Or, Izzy egged Eddie on to give in to his darker impulses (which, I think, was alluded to quite strongly in the murder/suicide scene).

I mean, yes. That was one of the options on my poll that I was quite sure of, and I think most of us suspected this even in S1.

Izzy was Eddie's only family. Ok, I think family doesn't quite express what was going on between them in S2, but that certainly was one aspect of their relationship.

This is all fine. I can see that being built up to over the two seasons.

But.

"And then there was the realization that [Izzy] is kind of a mentor to Blackbeard and that he is kind of a father figure to Blackbeard. It felt nice to have him die and have Blackbeard be upset by it, because Blackbeard killed his father. But this is a father figure that he’s losing that it’s hard for him; it's sad and he doesn't want him to go." (source)

This is not fine. Not at all.

Izzy is not Blackbeard's mentor. Izzy is obviously in love with Ed (and Ed is fully aware of that). Izzy might have been a mentor-like presence in Ed's life when they were younger, but when we meet them in S1 Izzy is more like an overworked housewife cleaning up behind her disinterested husband. Izzy would do anything for Ed (apart from killing him) and is ready to die at one point because of him. Izzy is desperate, grabbing onto the scraps Ed throws his way.

Where, where does Izzy seem like a mentor to Ed in all of this? A mentor is supposed to be at least at the same level or above but Izzy is clearly not.

And in the death scene, suddenly, that's all there is left of their complex, intense dynamic.

Izzy took young Eddie in and fed his darkness. He was Eddie's only family, binding him to himself out of selfishness in the process.

So that's their unexpected "who they are to each other". Izzy taught Ed everything he knows (which is actually bad for him) and it'd probably been better if they'd never even met.

And don't get me wrong, I don't completely disagree with this take. As a part of their dynamic, this is a fascinating concept - but only if this wasn't the end.

Because there was so much more, so much promise of a complicated, mutually destructive relationship that nevertheless was also full of love. Those two seemed so intertwined (and I'll never forgive Stede for stealing that for himself and Ed). Ed is Izzy's missing half and Izzy is Ed's.

And I still believe that, without Izzy, Ed isn't complete.

And with this rushed conclusion, and all the mess left behind and never even looked at, Ed will never be happy.

Conclusion

I think what hurts the most is, that with Izzy dead and their last conversation being that reductive, all possibilities of an exploration of all these complex and fascinating aspects of their relationship are now closed. I know this show isn't about Ed and Izzy. But Izzy is a big part of what made Ed interesting, and he's a brilliant character in his own right. We could have gotten so much more (even if it's only allusions, we really don't need everything spelled out).

I guess I expected too much from this show - but with good reason. The actors gave it their all. S2 set up such an intricate dynamic (and it was probably overly ambitious with only 4 hours of screentime!). I've never gotten so much of what I wanted from an outsider character in any show.

And then it let us down in the last 10 minutes.

And even if we hadn't gotten a season 3 - the setup was all there for meta, for fanfiction. Why ruin it all with killing off Izzy for all the wrong reasons and making their last conversation all about Ed "outliving his mentor".

To quote Prince Ricky: "Oh, my goodness. You've just grown so tedious."

Still, I love everything they've done in this show except for the ending. I will watch it again, many times, and enjoy the drama, the humour and the complexity. But I will try to forget these interviews and convince myself Izzy's senseless death was just a dream :).

[freedjustineshipping]

so, three things because, in my humble opinion, this is still one of the Fairy Tail's most beautiful scenes.

Firstly, Freed recalling things his guild mates have said to him, showing him that they accept him and want to spend time with him? That he's truly not been alone or had to limit himself to his team and Laxus as outcasts? It's a shame anime-only watchers never got to see this because there's also so much information in it.

Erza has sparred with Freed in the past and clearly considers him S-Class worthy? Makarov telling/trusting Freed to look after Laxus. Natsu finding Freed intriguing enough to challenge him for a fight, Cana wanting to share a drink in good company, Reedus complimenting his appearance. It's asll so good, there are so many factors at play there! Definitely should have been in the anime too because it adds not only information about Freed but also how others may view him and relationships between characters.

Secondly, Mirajane crying and Freed then also bursting into tears finally allowing himself to feel this emotion and process Mira's eye-opening words. And how they both can relate to it so well. With Mira and her background story, her feeling for a long time as though she had to isolate herself to not hurt anybody and Freed building up armor around his heart because we can only imagine what powers like his, powers like the Raijinshuu's, had them go through and deal with. We may not know their backstory but we know it's tragic like everybody else's. Dark. Troubled. The She-Devil and Freed the Dark, they both must have felt so incredibly lonely for a long time and had/have to learn how to open up their heart again, let other people in. Truly. And after Mira had her eyes opened at some point, she was now able to open Freed's.

And thirdly, and that's a more self-indulgent than analysis - don't lie to yourself by saying you've never considered how this very moment would have been such a good one to start investing into their relationship. Be it platonic or romantic. God knows Mirafreed is a ship with so much wonderful potential and for some time I know you and I both had hoped that a ship would be developed between these two, and I say this as a major Fraxus shipper. 'Let's try to have fun at the next Harvest festival' - The thought of Freed and Mira having a date at the next Harvest Festival? Absolutely wonderful. Splendid. Them teaming up in the future being the badasses they are and understanding each other's troubles with their powers? Like, Freed and his team mates all have to deal with their eye magics (that I'm certain aren't 'learned' and eye magic as a whole is a touchy subject) but there's also that part of Freed's dark eye magic that lets him transform and he said himself that his Darkness form is forbidden. Likely because there's always a chance of losing control or losing himself and who if not Mira would understand that fear and trouble more.

Alas, they didn't end up having many interactions after this. Freed was kept more to his team and Laxus and Mira more to her siblings. But man, one way or another, this moment is beautiful and I just know they get along well in whatever form that may be.

[greatqueenanna]

So, with this tiny drama with Hans and sociopathy, I decided to ask a friend of mine, who has ASPD, what he thought of this whole situation with Hans. A bit of history - as you all know, I like Helsa, so back in 2014 when it was revealed that Hans was a sociopath, I went into research mode to try and discover more about this. That is where discovered Sociopath World, a website made for sociopaths to discuss how they navigate the world and to give advice to 'empaths'.

This is where I met my friend - we'll call him BG. BG is a clinical psychologist, film buff, and, as said, diagnosed with ASPD. Now, I didn't directly ask him about Hans at the time, I just asked him about the Hans - Elsa dynamic a lot without using their names (cuz, you know - I'm a shipper lol) we've been friends ever since, and I ask him all the time about film characters.

When I started talking about Hans and sociopathy more recently, I got an anon where someone questioned if I should be talking about this, so I decided to finally ask BG about Hans. I shared with him Jennifer Lee's comments, some posts within the Hans/Helsa tags, and of course recommended he watch the movie. To my surprise, he did it fairly quickly and sent me a reply today.

Few things to keep in mind - BG is very blunt, so sorry if you find some things he says a bit offensive or accusatory. Also, keep in mind (something he mentions as well) that he doesn't speak for everyone who has ASPD. Also, don't worry, he knows I'm posting his response here. I did edit a few things for privacy purposes. He knows this too.

Now, I originally wanted to include his response in my Hans and Sociopathy post, but to make sure that the post didn't end up being too long, I decided to place it here instead. His response is under the read more.

Thanks for contacting me, I always like evaluating people’s fascinations with ASPD. This is a unique one, a cartoon character. I’m usually asked to evaluate Elsa (spoiler, she’s not a sociopath) from this movie, so it’s a nice change of pace. Prince Hans is a sociopath. Let’s get into it.

So what we first have to establish about anyone trying to defend those with ASPD are their motivations. No one defends those with ASPD just for kindness's sake, not unless they have a positive experience with someone in their life (which is exceedingly rare with ASPD). Here, we’re talking about a cartoon character that was first established as a ‘good’ and then turns ‘evil’ for a shocking twist.

From what I’ve seen from this character’s fans, is that they focus heavily on the ‘tragic’ backstory of said character and the end-game motivations they have for him. Which in this case is the fact that they want to pair him up with other characters with their morality not being questioned. From what I’ve seen, that’s all they care about. They see an attractive character that they think has the potential to be paired with another, and they are upset that this attractive character has traits and behaviors that they are opposed to. Look, I know it sounds mean, but none of these fans would really care if the character was not attractive, charming, and easily paired with the female leads. That is the main motivation here.

I’m not saying they are not interested based on the character’s own merits and intrigue, they like to speculate about his past and childhood. But given the most popular depiction is him is with the female leads in a romantic sense, it is very obvious where the fans stand and why they are defensive of him. He’s attractive, he’s charming, he was really nice and chivalrous at first. But the reality here is that they are in love with who he is pretending to be. It honestly looks like the cases I deal with every day with real ASPD and Empath couples. The empath in the relationship is always making excuses for the sociopath, and I have indeed had cases where the empath denies the diagnosis. It’s really interesting to see this in behavior in fan spaces as well.  

Now, here’s the thing. I don’t really care about film representation. Most people I know who also have ASPD don’t care either. We don’t really care about the things that empaths place on a pedestal. We don’t care about role models or feeling accepted and represented. Empaths always make us out to be villains or funny anti-heroes because they can’t fathom our behaviors being used for good. It's a reality we face, especially in this day and age when feelings and being empathetic dominate the social world. There is no easy way to showcase a sociopath being a hero within empath standards. Our definition of a sociopath being a hero is getting what they want. Hans would be a great representation if he got what he wanted. Do I speak for everyone? No. But honestly, I question anyone who claims to be a sociopath and actually cares about empath’s feelings towards us, or bases their value on fictional characters like what empaths do. Especially since most people who have ASPD are not even diagnosed, they can’t exactly question a representation of something they don’t know that they have.

Let’s change gears towards the comments the director made. The critique you got was that there isn’t enough evidence to support a diagnosis of ASPD with Hans because the narrative doesn’t explicitly state it and we don’t know a lot about his past; so can’t make a genuine diagnosis. In most cases, that would be correct. However, the director makes it very clear that her intentions for the character was for him to be a sociopath. She wrote him with this intention and made sure to depict him in that way. Thus, we don’t need to see his childhood or even make a diagnosis based on his behavior. He is written and labeled as a sociopath, so he is one. End of story. Sure, we can critique how the depiction was handled, and even the motivations behind making him a sociopath, but it doesn’t change the facts of the character.

I went a little off track here, but I feel this needed to be said first and foremost. Let’s get back to the actual comments. She states that she has a sociopathic mind and that she was writing him based on these traits. She also stated later that Hans being sociopathic was more interesting. You can even see the excitement she has when the person she’s talking to says “he’s a talented Scoiopath” and she says “He’s very talented!” She loves this aspect of him. It's her pride and joy. She obviously thinks sociopaths are interesting and cool, to the point where she thinks she may have some traits. Here, we know her intention behind it was romanticization. Is it a bit weird? Yea. It’s weird. She's romanticizing a disorder so it's always weird. However, the depiction was still fairly accurate. Cartoony and villainized, but accurate.

Which I guess leads us to the actual depiction. He’s a very typical Sociopath. Not much else to say. He has the sociopath stare, he mirrors behavior, he hates that his brothers dared to ignore him, he jumps into danger without a second thought, and smiles when he’s about to commit murder on Elsa. It's kind of funny how accurate he is. It’s like watching a comedy show where they say something relatable and you can’t help but laugh. The director says that her stand-out moment for him was when he questions Anna’s comment of being ‘just her’. For me, it’s when he stands up after being knocked out by the blast, without even acknowledging that he’s in deep shit, and just says ‘but, she froze your heart!” I laughed so hard. Only sociopaths would do this shit. “Anna, how dare you. You should be dead.”

And that’s all I have to say. Thanks for reaching out, it was definitely entertaining and a nice break. Have a great day.

[sonofthesaiyans]

To the gal who is most deserving of a second chance, Happy Birthday Ymir. 🎂

There is so much to be said about Ymir, she is without at doubt one of the most intriguing and and perplexing characters in Attack on Titan. There's so much we don't know about her, even her real name remains a mystery. For me, Ymir was set up to be a much bigger player in the war to unravel the mystery of the Titans, and her story to me is one that demands an urgent continuation in some form.

Ymir definitely holds a special place in the story, she often comes off as cold and distant, and one to take particular pleasure in messing with the few friends she has in the 104th. Her motivations are never clear and she's an incredibly hard person to read, but then again many of my favorites elsewhere also fit that bill. Her one constant companion is Historia, and to call them an odd couple would be a huge understatement. It is however very entertaining to see how they play off each other, with Historia constantly in a balancing act with Ymir's more jaded attitude towards all that's going down with the Scouts.

While Ymir may be cold, distant and detached a lot of the time, she isn't without heart and has come through for Historia and the others several times when it really mattered. She has been through hell and back, having easily one of the most messed up backstories of any of the Scouts. Literally everything Ymir knew from her past life in Marley is long gone, she doesn't even remember her own family. And was condemned to an existence by Marley that nobody should have to suffer. Ymir literally has nothing to lose, with the people of Paradis being the first chance she has had to escape her long personal hell.

Ymir as the Jaw Titan was an impressive reveal, and she could seriously have helped level the playing field against the Warriors and the Marleyans. Her unique bond with Historia would have been all the more interesting to see develop after Historia assumed her rightful place as the Queen of the Eldians. And let's be real, nobody wanted to see Historia end up with some nameless , faceless farmer who she may not even have been attracted to in the first place. Ymir and Historia both have similarly tragic backgrounds where they essentially had no family left to turn to, with only each other to fill the void. Theirs was a rocky relationship that nonetheless shone brightly......Certainly more than Eren and Mikasa ever did, and I stand by that, people.

For me personally, Ymir's long absence and ultimate fate was one of Titan's biggest bad calls, we all expected more. And we absolutely deserved more, she is undoubtedly one of the story's biggest missed opportunities. And now we're left to fill in the blanks as to what the full story behind her is.

There's something really compelling about Ymir, even at her worst she was still a good person deep down, and one who deserved that chance to escape the insanity that robbed her of so much. I wanted to see her relationship develop with the other Scouts, and to see how she evolved as the Jaw Titan. Feels like the story we should have gotten with all that was set up around her was sacrificed for something that denied her her chance to shine.

I want to know more about Ymir, I want to connect with her more strongly, I want to know what her whole story is and see what might have been. I think Ymir could've easily carried a plot of comparable caliber to Eren's. It was all there, they had everything they needed.....Now somebody needs to step in and do what Hajime Isayama failed to take advantage of. Show the man how it's REALLY done.

For now, best wishes to the girl who so richly deserved a second chance to live a life that was all her own, to find the freedom she never had. I only hope one day she truly does get another chance. 💚 ⚔️ 💚 ⚔️ 💚

And to close that out, a special shoutout to the incredibly talented Elizabeth Maxwell, who we have to thank for giving her voice to this amazing character. I can only hope she too might one day get another chance to do so again.

Thanks for the amazing picture, Liz! It was truly an honor to have shared our appreciation of Ymir with you. ❤️

[kanohivolitakk]

Can i hear more of your thoughts on ehlek if you want bc im very intrigued by your bingo answers and the hc you mentioned

Absolutely! Full disclousure though: Im villain woobifier and while I dont woobify all my villain blorbos, Ehlek is one of the ones that I do.

Ehlek is my third favorite Barraki (my 1 and 2 being Pridak and Takadox respectively if you're curious) and one of my favorite characters in the series as whole. I honestly consider him to be one of the most underrated characters in the series, and easily the most underrated character that isn't a serial-exclusive lore character (see Miserix or Artakha for instance). Just, I adore him so much.

One of the main reasons I like Ehlek is because of he is rather unique by Bionicle villain standards. Ehlek is one of the rare villains in the series that isn't a variation of the "powerhungry conqueror with a personality gimmick to stand them out" archetype because...he isn't really powerhungry or greedy at all. Instead, Ehlek is pretty much exclusively characterized by his anger and paranoia towards others. Ehlek is motivated not by a thirst of power, but rather by his emotions: from what I recall most of his actions in canon stem from wanting to hurt whatever upset him that day. And like I said, this incredibly unique by Bionicle villain standards, the only other villain who is motivated exclusively by emotion is Miserix, and guy isn't even really a villain (TSO and Pridak ocasionally are driven by their emotions, but they still mainly fall to the "powerhungry bastard" trope Greg loved to use). And not just is Ehlek stand out, he stands out in a way I like. I love villains driven by their emotion, so Ehlek being a paranoid distrusting mess is just the absolute best for me.

Because Ehlek is an emotionally driven character and doesn't fall for the "greedy bastard Greg villain mold" unlike his fellow Barraki (Takadox and debatably Carapar not withstanding), I actually really like thinking of Ehlek as the "token sympathetic villain" of the Barraki. I ADORE the "token sympathetic/nice guy in a villain faction" trope, and wish it was something Bionicle had done more often. Now, due to Barraki being tyrannic conquerors, seeing any of them as a "good guy" is kinda iffy. However, I do think having one of them be less bastardly and more sympathetic/tragic could work very well. And I think Ehlek is the best fit given his personality as said. As such a lot of my Ehlek related headcanons are giving him more sympathetic traits. Including giving him a tragic backstory because of course I would.

So my backstory headcanon for Ehleks backstory is rather long and detailed, so I wont go everything here. But I can give you a summary. Basically my headcanon for Ehlek is that he was a prince/ruler of one of the many underwater kingdoms in a continent somewhat wayside of the Matoran Universe. He was well meaning and rather naive, and thus was used as a political pawn by other political figures. He was repeatedly manipulated and taken adcantage of both by other rulers and his own allies. Eventually, after being told he had been used by his own advisor the whole time, Ehlek snapped, and killed anyone he saw as a threat, including the aforementioned advisor. Guy basically become a tyrant after having his trust being broken and kindness abused one too many times.

And thats why I put all those "aaa poor baby uwu" answers. Ehlek for me is a tragic figure who was evil not by nature, but because being repeatedly betrayed and used broke his mind to a distrustful mess. He never wanted to hurt anyone, he just wanted to love and help others. Unlike the other five Barraki he wasnt always an opportunistic warmongerer, he was orginally a kindhearted sensitive soul that wasnt able to take it anymore, so he broke. Just god little little baby you didnt deserve it and shouldve been able to live a happy nad fulfilling life.