#alright I’ll shut up

[vytels]

I just rediscovered @peace-hunter ‘s baby prime au and gosh I love it so much!! I forgot how inspiring it was for me when I was diving into all kinds of AUs… honestly, so many AUs have inspired me with the creation of my own that it’s hard to keep track. But now that I’m looking back at this one… UGH!! It’s giving me ideas for the original prime Optimus au I have, despite the major differences between both AGHH

It’s definitely helped me figure out one part of the plot, actually. In the Baby Prime AU, the High Guard makes the choice to hide OP in plain sight. They get him to Iacon, they take his T-cog, etc… which is different than my AU. In the Original Prime AU, OP is forced to do that himself when his t-cog is damaged— but I always had questions about how he could have managed that by himself when he was injured enough that he was forced to leave the final battle. And considering other future plot points and world building that I want to put into this AU, I think a great answer would be that someone in the High Guard helped him.

I don’t want to spoil my ideas or the plot I have so far, but at the same time I don’t know if I’ll ever get to writing this story out. It’s been so long since I actually write a chaptered fic, I don’t know if I can anymore… BUT, whatever! I’ll do it, why not?

I think the specific member of the High Guard to help OP would be Shockwave. Taking inspiration from his IDW storyline, and specifically Empurata… he helps OP get to Iacon, he helps remove his cog, and helps OP hide… none of this OP will remember, the memory files are corrupted or simply locked because he doesn’t have a t-cog. But Shockwave knows where he is, knows that he helped save and hide the last Prime, and honestly there might have been a bit of Shockop going on *wink wink*

And Shockwave gets captured by Sentinel at some point, who tries to get information about Optimus’ whereabouts, but it doesn’t work. Shockwave loves Optimus too much to give up his location… However, it does make it clear that Shockwave does know something. He’s just too loyal to say anything… and well, he gets empurata’d. He comes out of that experience incredibly different, obviously.

Overall, this idea gives me a definitive reason why Shockwave’s story comes to be, and makes OP’s journey to Iacon far more plausible. It’s got me thinking of so many ideas and how heart wrenching it would be…

Imagine realizing the only way to save the one you love, to protect them, is to let them go 🥺

[bestoftheclones]

*4991 sat on in the corner of the mega berth room. It was a communal resting place for all the vehicons and only the vehicons. Anyone with a name got their own rooms but this is where 4991 sat alone. In the corner he sat on a data pad looking at humans greatest achievements. Those small squishy things have done a lot but the best thing they ever did was make works of art in the form of buildings. Great gargantuan works of art they never made again. It was gorgeous like what Cybertron had before the war though that was made on the backbreaking labor on what the Decepticons stand against. It was still beautiful regardless. And that’s where he sat alone, until 3529 walked in. He had 2 cubes full of energon.*

You alright back there? *4991 nodded. 3529 made his way to the corner where his coremate was.* I have to be honest. I was cruel when I threw you into the multiverse with no warning. I know you hate me for it and the chaos I brought into your life. *4991 looked up* It’s my fault for butting into places I don’t belong. Thanks for the Apology tho. *3592 handed him a cube* Are you alright with knowing this stuff? Being Adopted by an Autobot? Optimus Prime no less. Are you okay with watching all of that stuff? I know it took me a good while to process it all once I first discovered the human internet for the first time. I’m fine. It is crazy but I can get use to it. *3592 sat next to 4991* I’m having fun on the human internet. They have a lot of cool stuff on here. What kind of cool stuff? Huge cathedrals humans made. Look at this one! *4991 showed his data pad to 3592.* That’s one unit of a castle. Do you know the amount of detail those little things put into these buildings? It’s phenomenal! They are pretty grand. You know those knife looking things remind me of feathers. I guess they do. I saw you liked birds. I do. Do you want to tell me about them? If you tell me about architecture.

*They sat together for a good while sharing information between each other on their special interests. All is good*

[blluespirit]

Northern hemisphere centrism is my ENEMY. The earth is a G L O B E. just because its winter in your country does not mean the entire world is also in winter babe. THE EARTH! IS! A GLOBE!

[alttheloco]

Day 11: Ghost

Y’all think we’ll get a spirit form redesign? I kinda hope we do I think it would be cool. I’ll have a solid William design one day I swear

[studio-of-woof]

They’re giving Ann and Babette vibes ngl

I wanna see them interact plz I like Fancy Ghost Lady ..

[imjustexistingtbh]

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahhhahhhaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i’m so. imso. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[howldean]

i’m so fucking pissed rn

[iishmael]

ok im back to hating everything. My prof really did NOT do a good job this semester I feel completely unprepared and… I’m aware that what I’m trying to do is so much more complex than what we covered in class but normally I don’t have problems to scale things up like this but I think I severely underestimated the complexity of what I’m trying to model. Lol. god I’m so scared bc a huge part of my research hinges on me figuring this out and I have NO ONE I can ask bc no one works with QGIS on this scale so help me fucking g-d lmaoooo 😭

[suzuki-ecstar]

the absolute goblin energy of this photo tho

[salsflore]

[necromanceyourgays]

“this man is a FREAK. he’s a CRIMINAL you should NOT trust him.” okay so why does he have those big brown eyes. if he’s so bad why do I wanna give him a lil kiss. a lil smooch.

[goblinbabe666]

the people of tiktok have convinced me yet again. i will be rewatching tmpgis.

[stellarcuriosity]

Tag List

STARBURST ✧ ☾ rewrite your stars and be brave instead ☽ SUPERNOVA ✧ ☾ entropy increasing how long before i'm dust? ☽ SN-304 ✧ ☾ but only it seems when there's darkness in me ☽

RATCHET ✧ ☾well i’m alright if you’re alright and i’m okay if you’re okay ☽ AUTOBOTMEDIC ✧ ☾ i’ll be the one to hold onto you tight and be your guiding light ☽ OPTIMUS PRIME ✧ ☾ cause i think you’re so good and i’m nothing like you ☽ ATLAS-ORDAINED ✧ ☾ it’s alright cause there’s beauty in the breakdown ☽ PREDAKING ✧ ☾ you are the dawn screaming to the dark and silent night ☽ BUMBLEBEE ✧ ☾ she said ooh ooh shut up and dance with me ☽ GRIMLOCK ✧ ☾ think of me when you’re out when you’re out there ☽ SHOCKWAVE ✧ ☾ just a thing to play and then throw away ☽ AUTOBOTS ✧ ☾ when others blocked your light you learned to see beyond the stars ☽ DECEPTICONS ✧ ☾ because the night will never give you what you want ☽ PREDACONS ✧ ☾ there is nowhere for you to hide a hunter's moon is shinin’ ☽

PREDAKING/STARBURST ✧ ☾ but you’re all i takes for me to break a promise ☽ BUMBLEBEE/STARBURST ✧ ☾ oh oh she wants me to be loved ☽ GRIMLOCK/STARBURST ✧ ☾ as charming as we are we are nothing but pretty trash ☽

V: MAIN | PRE SERIES ✧ ☾ prehistoric predator ☽ V: MAIN | DURING SERIES ✧ ☾ undercooked experiment ☽ V: MAIN | POST SERIES✧ ☾ inquisitive explorer ☽ V: DECEPTICON ✧ ☾ unwilling scrapper ☽ V: SG ✧ ☾ autobot menace ☽ V: SG ✧ ☾ predacon queen ☽ V: TFONE ✧ ☾ energon aficionado ☽ V: RBA ✧ ☾ artistic adjunct ☽ V: G1 ✧ ☾ turncoat dragonbot ☽

IC ✧ ☾ on the hunt! ☽ OOC ✧ ☾ taking a snooze… ☽ SHENANIGANS ✧ ☾ are you gonna eat that? ☽ DASH COMMENTARY ✧ ☾ it kinda smells in here. ☽ CURIOSITIES ✧ ☾ yeah i tend to know a thing or two. ☽ SUBMISSIONS ✧ ☾ ooh you shouldn't have! ☽ PROMPTS ✧ ☾ inspiration in all forms! ☽ OPEN ✧ ☾ come on let's play!! ☽ REPLY ✧ ☾ things are better done together. ☽ MEDIA ✧ ☾ such sights and sounds. ☽ AESTHETICS ✧ ☾ the world is wonderful! ☽ SAVED ✧ ☾ i'll keep it safe and sound i promise. ☽ HEADCANON ✧ ☾ as sure as the stars in the sky. ☽ STATUS ✧ ☾ feeling hungry but besides that… ☽ MY ART ✧ ☾ this piece looks familiar… ☽ FRIEND ART ✧ ☾ i take a bite. mmm yummy. ☽ PROMO ✧ ☾ send it to the moon! ☽ NAVIGATION ✧ ☾ so much to explore! ☽ ACTIVITIES ✧ ☾ i could stay up all night... ☽

[ciaoteamo]

Milk and Water Pt. II

pairings: doppelgänger!Milkman x fem!Reader

summary: the aftermath of letting him in

pt.I

(art credits: @yunonoaii)

warnings: 18+ content

“…what. the. fuck.” You mutter to yourself, watching the scene before you unfold.

“mmm, how about letting me in now? promise i won’t bite you too hard” His eyes were dangerously seductive.

Your desktop fan and the slight rustling sound of (what you could only assume was) him touching himself filled the eerie silence of your office space.

However, he could still tell that you were hesitant to let him in, especially considering what he just did to D.D.D.

“how about this, sweetheart we-“

“if i open this door.” You cut him off. He shuts up quickly and halts his movements with a blank stare. His eyes watching you intently.

“you come straight to me, or else i swear to fuck. it will not be a good time for you. you copy?” Your hands were firmly grasping the edge of the desk as you stared the man in his color changing eyes.

“i promise” He kisses the window and you give him one last short lived glare before unlocking the door for him.

BZZT!

He slowly turns away from you and walks toward the door and you felt relieved to hear a light knock a few seconds later before he let himself in.

“see? you can trust the milkman” He grins.

He was a mess. Between the torn clothing, the blood, and his unzipped slacks that displayed his black briefs holding back a huge bulge, he honestly looked like something out of a wet dream.

“this is quite a small space… you think i’ll be alright in here?” He closed the door behind himself and strides toward you.

“you don’t have any choice but to be alright” You retort and he chortles.

“i love this mouth of yours… i’ve never crossed paths with a human as bold as you…” He tilts his head, placing a hand under your chin to lift it a bit.

“unless you’re actually scared… and using this boldness as a tactic..?” His irises turn white once again and his grip on your chin tightened slightly.

Though you were enduring a near death experience right now, being that you were this close to a doppelgänger, you were unbelievably horny.

“tactics?” You start. You already knew that you probably wouldn’t be able to get out of his grip just by moving, so you used a more… inappropriate approach.

You took a step closer to him, closing in the 2 foot gap that sat between the two of you and you placed your palm over his hard-on.

His grip immediately loosened a bit and his fingers twitched against your skin. What a reaction that was…

You feel more confident, realizing that he’s just another horny good looking guy. “is there a reason i should be afraid of you?” You ask, hand squeezing around him and a finger rubbing his tip.

He shudders and his hand falls from your chin and rests around your throat. His forehead tapped against yours, and your eyes were fixed on each other. “…you really are something”

“wish i could say the same for you“ You start, breaking the eye contact to look at his lips and sharp canines. “you’re just a slutty and messy excuse of a monster” Your words would probably be venom to anyone else, but this only riled him up more.

You felt his throbbing under your palm and grin to yourself before being greedily pulled into a kiss. For a brief moment, you could taste a metallic bloody taste on his tongue.

You moaned at the warmth of his mouth and felt his hands rested on your hips, rubbing circles into the area.

You release yourself from the kiss with his bottom lip between your teeth and a smile. “desperate, are we?” You tease.

“painfully…” His eyes glistened. “what’ll it take to get those pretty lips to go a little lower?”

“show me what yours can do first and i’ll see about returning the favor” You challenge. His eyes go back and forth between yours before he kisses you again.

This time however, he started to undo your uniform. Groaning so deeply that you felt the rumble in your throat. His skilled hands loosened your belt and your slacks came down and off.

Next he lowered himself and lifted you a bit to get off your socks and shoes, making him get more sloppy and needy within the kiss.

At this point he was squatting and you were standing over him, holding both sides of his face. His hands travelled up and down your leg as he stayed in his position and this time, he’s the one to break the kiss.

You were both breathing heavily, and staring each other down. You almost forgot your resolve and let him fuck you right then and there.

But you had to stay strong, for both of you guys’ sake. You take a deep breath in and til your head.

“well, you gonna show me? or are just sit there and look delirious from a simple kiss?” You teased.

“…may i?” He asks with a slightly raised eyebrow, gesturing toward your leg.

“go ahead”

“hold on to something right”

“why am i h- shit!” You would’ve fell right to the ground if it wasn’t for the shelf behind you that held last months documents. Albeit, they’re scattered over the floor now.

Your legs were snatched from underneath you and each one was hooked over the man’s shoulders. His warm breath against you felt sinister. It sent a slight chill up your spine.

His eyes stared down at your sex and he licked his lips, looking more excited than you did for this. “don’t let go” He says before using gis fingers to spread you sticky lips.

His tongue pressed hard into you and drug from your hole, up to your clit. You bit your lip at the warmth and felt your back arch against your will.

“ha~ this all you got? Thought you said you’d be bet- anghh~!” Your eyes widen and your mouth drops at the new feeling below.

“you were saying?” He mumbles into you. His tongue was longer with a pointy tip, and his lips were wrapped tightly around your clit.

The pleasure was almost overwhelming. You could definitely admit that he made you eat your words and replace them with loud endless moans.

As you felt yourself getting closer you began to grind your hips over his face, chasing after your high.

“don’t stop” You could barely get out the last word before the wave of immense overstimulating pleasure came over you.

You curse and take in a few deep breaths, calming yourself down a bit, and only then did he let your clit go with a ‘pop’, making your legs to twitch.

“that wasn’t fair” You jokingly glare at him, the sweat making your skin shine and chilly from the fan air.

“i told you i was better” He wipes his chin with his thumb and licks it clean without breaking the eye contact.

“you have to be some sort of… sex demon” You shake your head in disbelief.

“maybe i am?” He lets you tug him closer by his tie and give him another sloppy kiss. The change in size of his tongue being just below too much for you as it explored your mouth.

“well let’s see how long you can last then… hm?” You ask, beginning to leave a trail of light kisses on his next before a harsh bite.

You could feel him shudder and decided to have him sit in your office chair. “let me borrow this..” You say, undoing his tie while he sat.

You spin the chair around and bring both of his arms to the back and tie them to the chair. When you spin his back around, his had such a mischievous grin that you went ahead and addressed.

“yes, i know you could probably get out of that in a heartbeat” You start and roll your eyes. He chuckles, amused at your awareness. “but, will you?” It was your turn to put on the sly grin now. The second he managed to break free from his restraint, would be the moment you’d send him off.

“…” He read your face, bit knowing if he should say something sly or not.

“right, thought so” You smile and give him a few taps on the cheek.

You kneel between the man’s legs, finally addressing the large and throbbing penis before you.

“god you’re hard… you weren’t kidding when you said you needed help” You joke, rubbing his wet tip through his boxers with you finger.

He grunted a bit and readjusted himself in his seat. You look up at him before pressing harshly on it with your thumb.

“oh fuck you~” He throws his head back and you giggle.

You reach for the hem of his briefs and tug at them, signaling him to lift his hips. Once he’s exposed, you could really see the girth and length of him.

He was veiny, thick… bright pink tip, and god knows how long it was.

You put your hand around the base, it was warm and nearly pulsating. Your pace was moderate, giving him just enough to work with. You knew it was a nice steady pace when his hips slightly jerked up for more friction.

“needy boy wanting to fuck my hand? this wasn’t even the main event you asked for, love” You coo, strengthening the grip you had on him by a smidge.

“i can’t help that you know how to use those hands of yours so well” He remarks, still facing the ceiling.

You pump your fist higher up and use your own skilled tongue to drag along his vein.

“@$?!~” He moaned and immediately looked down at you with a snarl. An almost threatening one telling you that he wanted more.

And were you planning on giving it to him? Absolutely not.

You stare right back at him and smirk, using the same motion and occasionally sucking the pre cum from its leaky pink source.

“i’m gonna cum” Your eyes welled a bit at the large shaft triggering your gag reflex. But he was close so you would endure the slight pain.

His thrust his hips up a few times and you force your head as far as you could before completely stopping.

“fuck- why’d you stop” His voice was almost a whisper and suddenly thick white ropes shot into the air and landed on his thigh.

“oh i’m sorry, i’ll keep going” You reach for his most sensitive spots, overstimulating him into a nervous laughter as he begged you to stop.

It was fun watching him experience more than he could handle, but all good things come to an end.

He sighs in relief, sweaty, heaving, and dazed.

“can i be freed now?” He asks.

“sure, why not. looks like you’re done here anyway” You shrug.

“who’s done?” He stands up, simply snapping the tie apart.

“oh… you’ve still got more in you?”

“im the milkman, i never run out” He suddenly picks you up and sits on you on the desk. Jesus, these things are strong.

You wrap your hands around your neck, suddenly feeling the arousal for another round yourself.

His hands find your slick entrance, teasing the outside and slipping two cold slender fingers into you.

“mmm!” You mean into the kiss, holding onto his forearm as he fingered you at an inhumane pace. You break away and cat h your breath trying to slow him down a bit.

“i don’t want to cum from this, put it in” You say.

“yes ma’am” He lines himself up without your entrance and slowly pushes himself in with a moan. You could every centimeter of the stretch as he went deeper.

You tapped the back of your head onto the window behind you and felt him kissing on your neck and collarbone.

“fuck you’re big” Your voice slightly shook as you stated the obvious.

“and you’re so warm and wet inside, i ashamed to admit that i almost came putting it in” He chuckled before biting back another groan.

RIIIIING

RIIIIING

You snap your head in the direction of the phone and see D.D.D. calling.

Shit.

“stop, i have to take this.” He halts his thrusts and you grab the phone. “hello?”

“agent number” A deep voice says over the phone.

“5 5 8 4 3 7” You state clearly.

“thank you agent (Y/N), we’re calling about a few M.I.A. cleaners? it says in our system that you were the last to call. is everything alright?”

“ye-es~” You feel something rubbing your g-spot and look over at Francis. ‘stop, now.’ You mouth silently. He just smirks and speeds up.

“are you sure? you sound like you’re being threatened” The man on the phone asks.

“mhm~, im fine sir, just a little shaky” You put your hand over the phone speaker and look at Francis.

“what the fuck is wrong with you??” You ask, interrupting yourself with a few moans.

“just a little thirsty for some water” He thrusts harder, causing him to hit your g-spot, and your clit back to back.

You cover your mouth with your shirt and moan into it, hearing the buzz of a voice on the phone. Honestly you should be scared, they could show any minute, but right now, you could care less.

“im gonna cum” You whisper, still being mindful of the potential listeners.

“yeah?” He grabs a young and stands straight up, slamming you down into his cock. You let out something just short of a scream into the crook of his neck and find yourself twitching and shaking in his grip.

You heard a splash and felt him fill you up with his seed. You both were a moaning, groaning mess, heavily breathing in place.

“(Y/N), do you copy?……. we’re on our way” The phone then hangs up and the low buzzy voice is replaced with a prominent beep.

“you have to go, they’re coming” You lazily try to leave his strong hold with a tired push against his chest.

“but first” He puts you back on the desk where you rest your back against the cold glass window. “a drink..” His tongue grows longer right infont of you, and cleans you from your ankles to your navel, and of course he ran it over the bundle of nerves he’s been abusing all night, making your body jolt.

“you’re so delicious… i wish i could always taste you” His tongue goes back to its normal size.

“well i’ll get going now… i’ll be seeing you again soon, love. i’ll try not to cause too much trouble next time…” He gives you a peppery kiss on the nose and leaves.

Well, that’s one way to end your day shift…

[angelfic]

— A BOY WHO’S JACKED AND KIND

jason todd x reader summary: you trick jason into participating in a certain tiktok trend a/n: a little drabble because I’ve been doomscrolling on tiktok and jason is most definitely jacked and kind and I need him desperately

You can tell that Jason is getting more annoyed by the second. He can’t continue reading his book for longer than five minutes at a time before glancing up at you from across the room with a curious frown. You move around the kitchen fixing yourself an iced coffee while absentmindedly scrolling through your phone and occasionally letting out a laugh or smiling.

By the sixth time you let out a snort, Jason decided he’s had enough and shuts his book, flinging it onto the coffee table before walking over to join you in the kitchen. “What’s making you smile that isn’t me, babe?”

“Huh?” You pull your eyes away from your phone to see Jason attempting a casual pose, leaning against the refrigerator, but he’s borderline pouting. You bite your lip to stop yourself from laughing at him and shake your head. “It’s nothing, just some videos.”

“What kind of videos?” he asks quietly, reaching out to start playing with a strand of your hair that’s escaped your claw clip as if by reflex. He’s still frowning slightly and you roll your eyes, deciding to put him out of his misery.

“Just a cute TikTok trend,” you explain, pulling one of the videos up as Jason peers at your phone eagerly. “See, you get your boyfriend to see if he can pick you up and put you on his shoulder. Some of them are really cute, but look, there’s some who can’t hack it.”

Jason nods slowly in revelation, still engrossed in the rest of the video that’s currently playing before he huffs and shakes his head. “How the hell is that guy struggling? Easy work,” he mumbles.

You’re about to tell him that not everyone has that Red Hood strength on their side before a plan starts forming in your head. Suppressing a smirk, you glance up at him and raise your eyebrows. “Oh yeah? You think you could do it better?”

Jason looks at you with a blank expression. “Was that a joke, or…?”

“I know you’re strong,” you say, shrugging as you nonchalantly take a sip of your coffee, turning away to hide your grin as you walk over to the living room. Jason is hot on your heels as expected. “I just don’t think you could do this as easily as you think.”

“Let’s go,” he says, clapping his hands together. You slowly turn around and tilt your head in questioning. “Let’s make the video, c’mon.”

Hook, line and sinker.

“Alright,” you sigh, setting down your coffee to prop your phone up against it. You pull up the app. “If you insist. Do you want your face in it or should we do it facing backwards?”

“I’ll just cover my face with my hand,” he waves you off, rocking on his heels impatiently. “I only need one of ‘em to lift you.”

He says it so matter-of-fact, and the knowledge that he’s not actually trying to boast has your mouth going dry. It doesn’t help that he’s now shucking off his hoodie and wearing a short-sleeve black t-shirt. His biceps flex as he flings the hoodie onto the couch and you resist the urge to forget about the video and pounce on him. Just for a second.

Clearing your throat, you busy yourself with pressing record and turning a timer on to allow you to step back towards Jason.

“Moment of truth,” you say, challenging him with your doubtful expression and he merely smirks. “Try not to pull any muscles.”

Jason snorts and goes to cover his face with one of his hands, the other already seeking out your waist.

“Wait, not yet!” you remove his arm to place it back at his side and he peeks through his other hand to let you see him rolling his eyes. When the timer is done, you allow yourself to grin, unrestrained and count to 3 in your head. “Okay, go.”

Before the audio has even played halfway through, Jason bends down slightly to factor in your height compared to his and his one large hand grips your hip to lift you off the ground. It feels effortless as he settles you on his shoulder, steady as a rock and you yelp, not expecting him to be that quick.

The rest of the video is you squealing as Jason unexpectedly spins you around in a circle, his one hand gripping your thigh as the other still covers his face. “Jay!” you shriek, looping your arms around his neck to steady yourself. The only reason you’re unsteady is because Jason’s shoulders are shaking with silent laughter.

The video stops recording when the audio ends and you tell Jason as much, making him drop the hand covering his face to grin up at you. He raises an eyebrow as if to say ‘I told you so’, before flexing his free arm for dramatic effect.

“See?” he says, rubbing small circles on your thigh with his thumb and talking up at you with all the ease of talking to you as if you were on the ground in front of him. “What did I say? Easy work, babe.”

“Big show off,” you say, wrinkling your nose at him as you begin to slide down his body. You go slowly, considering the man is basically a human skyscraper and he seems to take advantage of the fact, hands shamelessly roaming up your legs and your sides. He hooks your legs over his own waist, making you cling to him like a koala.

“Can I help you?” you ask, squinting at him when he doesn’t say anything, choosing to just stare at your face instead, drinking you in. You break his concentration by leaning in to press a short, sweet kiss onto his lips that he chases when you pull away. “Earth to Jason?”

“Y’know, I’d be more inclined to participate in your stupid TikTok trends if they all end like this,” Jason mutters, running his nose along your jaw and down your neck before nestling his face there. He doesn’t initiate anything, simply wanting to bask in the comfort of your skin.

You grin at the successful ending to your grand plan, disentangling yourself from your boyfriend to jump down, ignoring his groans of protest.

You run to your phone to save the video to your drafts - no one else needs to see how good Jason’s arms look in a tight black tee - and pull up your folder of couple TikToks. “Oh, well, if you’re finally offering,” you start saying, circling Jason’s wrist with your hand and pulling him onto the couch. He sighs, previously sweet smile being replaced by something skeptical. “I have a whole bunch of ideas.”

“This feels like a set-up.”

© angelfic 2024.

[gaywineauntsstuff]

Dick Grayson:

*runs the titans*

*works for the league*

*has a day job*

*solo patrols bludhaven*

*solo patrols New York*

*on call 24/7 for regularly scheduled Gotham crisis(es)*

*training at least 40% of new gen heroes at any given moment*

*infiltrating the current annoying cult, corrupt gov, spy organization, company, mafia group, evil underground ancestral foundations of a city and random corrupt modeling industry*

*monitoring drug pedaling in 3 cities*

*emotionally regulating 80% of his family bc why would they do it themselves? Nah let’s just ruin relationships for fun -cough Bruce cough-*

* maintaining civilian cover*

*canonically does volunteer work*

I am beginning to think nightwing doesn’t have anger issues he’s just overstimulated bc wtf

Like Dick take a break what is this?

————

Dick currently working on infiltrating the mob, after 4 days of 6+ hour patrols bc bludhaven has no chill an Arkham breakout, a performance review at work that took too long, organizing a titans outer space mission, just got back from training Jon Kent: no one call me plz god no one call me I can’t do this I have so much work no one. Call me plz

*phone rings* -it’s tim

He could ignore it but last time he left Tim alone for a month the dumbass lost his spleen and decided a cowl was a fashion choice (equally bad in his opinion)

Dick picking up the phone with his non broken arm: yello

Tim: so I accidentally maybe got kidnapped and maybe also started a cult around the concept of Batman and I’m out of energy drinks. (All equally dire in tims opinion)

Dick popping 4 caffeine pills: shut up I’ll be there in 30 don’t DO ANYTHing.

—————

Jason: sooo I might be engaged to an alien princess

Dick about to pop a Xanax: tell me it’s Kori or at least in this galaxy

Jason: nope

Dick: …. Can it wait

Jason: she wants to eat me, their species is like a praying mantis knockoff but with space and mind control.

Dick: yeah okay give me an hour I’ll call raven

————

Damian: hello Richard

Dick: what did you do.

Damian: I have been kidnapped by my mother

Dick: again

Damian: I feel it would be redundant to say anything

Dick: …….. alright I’ll call the nearest flying hero be there in a bit… keep ur spine where it is Damian or I swear to god-

——————

Bruce: cult

Dick who just got done with an undercover mission: anddd?

Bruce: we need someone to infiltrate it

Dick: I swear to god I. will. hurt. you

Bruce: hnnnn

——-

Babs: I have… acquired a child

Dick who is fighting deathstroke : …okayyyy

Babs who is watching the fight: she’s a little bit … traumatized

Dick, dodging a katana: preaching to the choir

Babs: can you do your whole, human empathy and kindness tell me ur life story I have puppy dog eyes.

Dick: ….

Babs: you owe me

Dick: … one day I will delete all your numbers and disappear

Babs cheerfully: you know no matter where you go I can find you hunk wonder see you in 3 hours don’t die before then!