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raquellemonsta · 6 months ago

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Hi girl! Me again!

Still can’t stop thinking abt that amazing tobio fic that u did which I requested, I NEEDD a part two or like a timeskip where they’re datinggg. I’m dying to know what their dating life is like when their pre-dating time is already as hot and fiery as u wrote it!! <3 along w the media n stuff like they’re obv they’re gn be so slay n espesh u write it so i alr know I’m gn love it sm!! So looking forward to it <33

golden (timeskip!kageyama x model!reader)

here it is! I love these two so much. I'm sorry this took so long, oops. disclaimer: you'll have to suspend your disbelief, I know in the manga he technically was 19 when he went to the Olympics but he's aged up here so that both of your career paths make sense. I am very sorry if that takes you out of the story at all </3 I hope you love it anyway!

wc: 2015 words

(part 1)

your relationship with kageyama tobio is nothing short of a dream. everyone can tell just how in love with him you are, and he's just as whipped for you. the two of you are meant for each other.

it's what all the tabloids, your closest friends, and even your parents say to you every-time you see them.

you can't agree more; he's the perfect man for you. tobio is able to understand the weight of being in the spotlight, millions of eyes on you, and he keeps you grounded. he's been your date to every social event, awards show, concert, sporting event, you name it. at the same time, you both are always there for one another, even with no cameras around. tobio's your safe space away from all of the pressures of being famous (and just being human, too). he's anything but a pr relationship, that's for sure.

which is why you're so excited, today of all days especially.

your boyfriend is competing in the 2016 summer olympic games, one of the most impressive feats an athlete can accomplish.

even if tobio can be quiet, not bothering to talk about what it is he's thinking about most of the time, you know that this has been a dream of his since he was a little boy. it's quite literally the farthest he can go in the sport he's loved forever, and he gets to do it with his close friends by his side, too.

your heart swells with pride just thinking about it. you're so happy he has this opportunity.

the unfortunate consequence of it, though, is that you haven't seen him in two weeks. well, that's slightly dramatic. he's able to text you occasionally, but nothings the same as waking up in his arms. other than games, of course, he's restricted to practice and the olympic village.

the only times you've really seen him in-person are watching his games, where you have a limited time afterwards to hug him before he's whisked away from you to start the same cycle over again.

it's been very lonely without him. your friend even sent you a twitter post someone had made about how sad you looked and how 'no one ever sees [you] without [your] boyfriend usually'. you kind of laughed at that, both at the ridiculous picture taken of you and at the fact that the caption might be true.

you miss him so much.

that's why you're both excited and nervous that today is the very last possible match: olympic finals.

entering the (at this point) familiar arena, you make your way to the side designated for japan. your seat is pretty close to the front, but still high enough so that you can see all of the court. that part is important, since your tobio rarely stays in one spot when he's out there.

you pull out your phone, shooting a text to your friend and then one to tobio, despite the fact that he definitely won't see it until after the game. you're pulled out of your focus by a man with a microphone held to your face.

"miss japan! miss (l/n), are you excited to be here today?" he looks at you excitedly, camera aimed at your face.

you can never seem to escape the 'reporters' from random news sites, especially here. it's not too surprising that they want to know your reaction to your boyfriend being in the finals. you don't want to seem rude, though, so once you recover from the shock of being interrupted, you respond calmly.

"of course i am. i'm lucky to have someone i know and love playing, too." you smile at the camera, waving to anyone who will end up watching this (which is always more people than you think). you can practically hear gushiken-san talking about what a great client he has. 'so humble!'

"yes, kageyama tobio. his performance has been amazing these past few games." he looks at you, expectantly.

"i think his performance is always amazing, but i'm also biased," you joke.

the man smiles at you, the two of you going back and forth for a few more questions, mainly about you and your most recent projects (shouldn't they be focused on the event you're at?), along with digging for any possible hints on where you'll be modeling next.

finally, he thanks you for your time and you're left alone. your attention then shifts to the court, where brazil has gone out to warm up.

your heartbeat picks up its pace, nervous and excited simultaneously.

it's almost time.

when the japanese team walks out, your eyes immediately fall onto number 20. even his warmup is flawless. you barely register the time passing, gaze locked on tobio like he's the only man on earth.

the whistle, signifying the end of warmups and for the teams to lineup, brings you back to reality. this is really happening. this is what he's worked so hard for.

this is his destiny.

————

finals. olympic finals. a game away from total victory, or bitter defeat.

his heart has been pounding for the entirety of the last set. tobio has always been able to keep his cool during matches, but something about the pressure of the biggest match in the entire world has managed to creep into his head. it even cost the team a point earlier. a foot fault has rarely ever happened to him before, yet here of all games it would. tobio knows he has to put that behind him, though, especially with the score now.

28-27. match point. and he's up to serve.

slowly moving back behind the line, a chill goes down his spine. the arena feels dead silent, despite the sheer number of spectators. he closes his eyes, pushing out a final exhale as his ears barely register the whistle.

this is it.

his entire life has led up to this exact moment. his serve undoubtedly making or breaking the game, and his reputation. it feels as though the weight of the world is on his shoulders, crushing him and depriving his lungs of air. like sinking deep underwater, he's nearly swallowed whole.

a saving grace is waiting for him, in the form of you. he pictures your beautiful face, smiling up at him like he's the only man in the entire world. like he's invincible.

tobio knows you're watching him right now. what are you thinking? about that missed serve earlier, and how lame he is? no. that thought is quickly swiped away. he thinks of how you'll run up to him as soon as the game is over, win or lose, take him in your arms and kiss him like no one is watching. he can't wait.

with complete precision, he tosses the ball up, going through his footwork as if in slow motion. he's done this a million times before, and yet this is different.

at the apex of his jump, he meets the ball. he swears he can see you now, hands over your mouth, gripping tightly in anticipation. he's sure he's never slammed the ball harder.

the ball drills into the back left corner, shanked by brazil's opposite.

the arena immediately becomes deafening, shouts and cheers erupting from every single side of kageyama as he barely registers that he ended the olympics on an ace. his teammates are crowding him, excited (especially bokuto), and yet all he can think of is you.

the next several minutes are spent awarding the medals, kageyama standing with his team on the first place podium. despite this being one of the greatest moments of his life, his face lacks a visible smile. he's glancing around the arena, searching throughout the crowd.

a tap on his shoulder finally pulls him out of it, though he turns around to be met with the girl he was looking for, you.

his eyes widen for a split second before you basically throw yourself onto him, hugging him so tightly that you can feel the cold medal through your shirt. tobio's arms quickly wrap around you, and even despite the sweat you move closer to him.

"i'm so proud of you." you smile brightly, amazed by this man that you're lucky enough to call your boyfriend. your hands have found their way to his cheeks, thumbs at the edge of his lips.

kageyama's never been big on pda, but he just won an olympic gold medal and has the prettiest girl in the world by his side. he can let a kiss with you slide, especially when you're looking at him like that.

you drown out the cheers and ignore the flashing of several cameras, lost in your love for tobio. it's only you and your lover, locked in a kiss full of emotion and yet simply enough to convey your feelings.

when the two of you pull away, it's like you suddenly remember just where you are, and you feel slightly shy (which is shocking, for you). tobio, on the other hand, is smiling down at you. really smiling, the smile that he told you people always thought was 'creepy', but you loved because you know it's genuine.

unfortunately, the two of you are pulled out of your moment together.

"kageyama, that was absolutely amazing! how are you feeling after such an amazing moment?!" a reporter rapidly speaks, trying to be heard over the loud environment. unlike the one interviewing you earlier, this woman appears to be from a more official american news station, trying to get an interview from the man who won japan the game.

tobio looks between her and the camera, confused, before he leans into the microphone.

"i love my girlfriend," comes his very choppy english. you can't stop yourself from smiling brightly, the camera turning to focus on you behind him.

he pulls you away after that, and you shoot the reporter and cameraman an apologetic look before following after him eagerly.

"thank you, hon." you joke, commenting on his earlier answer to the woman.

he looks to you. "it's true."

you lean up to kiss him again, hands tenderly holding his shoulders.

"i know. you're so sweet to me… can i wear your medal for a sec?" you eye the big circle of gold.

kageyama can only roll his eyes at your quick shift, though he still ends up taking the medal off and over his head, placing it on you like you've just created all of the stars in the sky.

—————

"tobio, what flavor should we get? i'm stuck between strawberry shortcake and fudge brownie." you stare through the glass case at the grocery store, pondering about the endless assortment of ice cream.

in the reflection, you can see your boyfriend aimlessly looking around the aisle, before his eyes catch onto your figure. you catch his lips turn up so subtly that you'd have never noticed it if he wasn't the love of your life.

he ponders your statement for a second, before coming up next to you and opening the case, grabbing both of the cartons you listed. you look up at him, confused.

"why not both?" he turns back to you, small smile still present.

you smile brightly at him, entranced. he's so perfect.

"i love you, tobio."

"i love you, (y/n)."

you let yourself fall into his side (the arm where he's not holding the ice cream, of course), wrapping your arm around his back as he does the same to you.

on your way to the self-checkout, you snatch one of the magazines on the edge of an aisle, plastered with a photo of you and tobio after his medal was awarded. you skim the bubble in the bottom right corner, one questioning any talk of marriage between the two of you.

you jokingly point to the bubble, showing it to your boyfriend.

"what do you have to say to this, hm?"

tobio eyes it, quickly reading before he smiles at you and kisses your head. he turns away to pay for the ice cream, ignoring your question.

"hey!"

"patience…"

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #kageyama #kageyama tobio #kageyama x reader #request #model!reader

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slutforpringles · 29 days ago

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first of all, thanks for posting about alisha, i saw that the ricnation has already adopted her! it’s cool to see what daniel is doing for the new generation, both men and women, but i think some people on twitter are pushing it a bit. this girl went from being a driver who raced in a ricciardo kart to becoming proof that he believes in gender equality and is obviously doing something to change the scene. we’re talking about that podcast and horner, and i don’t get why. why are we bringing this up? let’s celebrate her achievement and acknowledge his role but without using it as a gotcha card or a uno reverse card. does that make sense? i’m not hating on the campaign but the way some people are talking about its making me uncomfortable because they’re making it about his past comments and this is not the time

Hey anonstie! Sorry for taking a while to get back to you but I thought this was a really thoughtful and important topic/message so I wanted to have time to properly sit down and word this answer.

First of all I just wanted to highlight in case my original post came across not how I intended that as much as I was highlighting that Alisha had come through the Daniel Ricciardo series, her achievements are very much her own and it's on the merits of her own success that she's gotten herself into a seat on the F1 Academy grid. I will also say I'm a bit of an intermittent twitter user, so I might have missed something (but I think I've seen some of the posts you're talking about) and I do fully agree with your sentiment and think you've raised a really important point.

And I do also really understand that a lot of this comes from a well-intentioned place, and that DR fans can be a bit overly defensive because of some of the (at times) unfair and overly vociferous criticism of Daniel that's occurred online over the past few years. I think the arguments about Daniel being a raging misogynist based off a few misunderstood/taken out of context jokes/comments are outright pathetic, and to counter that highlighting the answer he gave about understanding why females have been so underrepresented in motorsports is great. I also think highlighting that he has a junior series that a lot of young up and coming boys and girls have come though is very cool.

But I fully agree with you that we have to be careful not to make Daniel into an advocate of something he very much hasn't put his voice to. I think Daniel has used his voice and platform throughout his career in a variety of positive ways, and I will always admire the way he so openly discussed his own ignorance and educating himself about BLM thanks to Lewis' advocacy in 2020. And that's not to say I don't think he supports the work of F1 Academy or of furthering the careers of female drivers. But I do think it's not accurate or correct to try and connect Alisha's participation in Daniel's karting series to him being an advocate for females in motorsport. And I also completely agree that turning what is probably a huge achievement and moment in Alisha's career into a gotcha fan war moment is very much not cool and also not what Daniel would want either.

This isn't aimed at any individual post/user etc and is also just my opinion, and is also not trying to criticise Daniel. I know a lot of people may disagree with this and that's ok, let's just try and be kind in our disagreements 🫶🏻🫶🏻

#anon ask #daniel ricciardo

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becauseimanicequeen · 2 months ago

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Rewatching Pit Babe (ep. 6-7) and the Colors

This is part of my Crazy-Ass End-of-Year Rewatch Challenge where I will rewatch some of my favorite shows, my least-favorite shows, and some shows in between.

I can't promise cohesive thoughts in these posts because it's the end of the year, I'm currently living in right-brain land 10+ hours per day, and I'm TIRED because the darkness of winter is coming. You've been warned.

My previous post: episodes 1-2, episode 3, episodes 4-5.

Also, since this is a rewatch, there are spoilers ahead.

Episode 6

We start this episode where we left off in the previous one, which means that Charlie still has that red detail on his racing overalls:

We've seen it before. But we've also seen him being loyal to Babe.

But, this bitch, though, with that red seat and line of the steering wheel:

He's switching sides faster than he can drive.

And when Dean chooses to accuse Alan of not valuing him after choosing Charlie to replace Babe in the team, Alan gets the most angry we've seen him so far:

This is the first time I've seen red on this man, but it's justified. Dean is being a spoiled brat and it will drive him to make idiot decisions.

Btw, is that red I see on Way's lighter?

The red on him is sneaky, but it is there.

Also, look at these moody brooders in black:

I wonder what a situationship or romantic relationship between these two would have been like. No, let's not go there.

Let's move on to Jeff instead. Here he is at the café and my hyper brain is wondering what the fuck to focus on:

The red title on the book/magazine and the red on his bag tattling about his past? The blue clothes that say something about his current loyalty? The yellow-ish/orange-ish cake that seems to follow him around (the color, not the cake, lol)? The pink drink and the pink light outside? And does that equal Alan's feelings in his attempt to get Jeff back with his Love Actually flashcard apology?

Anyway, they should just stop being idiots and hook up already! (I know they won't for a while longer, but can't a girl dream that the rewatch will be different? LOL!)

Also, I will defend Charlie until the end. I did it over on Twitter when the show was airing (before I had this tumblr) and I will do it now. But I have to admit that it's kind of annoying seeing that red follow him around!

Because all I see is Mr. Red's presence, and I don't like him.

And even though there's red in purple, look at that pretty purple-ish sky:

These boys are in love. Even Charlie, who is being secretive, came to X-Hunter to protect Babe because he thought that was the right thing to do. Isn't that a trait of a blue character through and through, though? Noble tendencies.

Either way, I love how the red and blue light appears in the frame when they're at Babe's special place and he asks Charlie to be his boyfriend.

And the way I fucking cackle every time Charlie brings up the whole children and Papa/Mama conversation.

(I needed a good laugh, so I watched that scene three times, lol.)

But, Sonic (even though he has some blue on the shirt under his jacket), what is up with the yellow?

No wonder Dean gets pissed.

The colors are all over the fucking place with these two!

And I'm saying this as a visual artist who reinvents myself ALL. THE. FUCKING. TIME. It's a pain for my loved ones, and I feel sorry for them. So, this is my official apology to all the Deans in my life. I understand your pain. (But the only thing I won't change is how much I change.)

Anyway, moving on...

Babe comes out of the bar/diner with the blue light behind him.

And meets Jeff who has both the red on his bag and shirt mixed with the blue. After Babe apologizes for the behavior he displayed before he knew Charlie and Jeff were brothers, Jeff uses his power on Babe and freaks out.

His and Charlie's plan is about to take a sharp turn.

And, so is Babe and Charlie's relationship (very soon, at least) since the red is the big secret between them that will get exposed.

Unfortunately for Way, he's going to see exactly how upset Babe will get when Babe finds out about Charlie's red past.

It won't matter that he's crying in the blue...

Because Way has had a red past all along...

Babe will feel more betrayed by Way keeping his red past from him than he ever was for Charlie doing the same thing...

And, that's the end of the 6th episode. Let's move on to the next!

Episode 7

On the subject of Way and the red. I can't believe Babe accepted Way's red-flag tendencies...

Good friends don't make you feel that way, Babe.

Instead of crying in the blue at the end of the previous episode, Way is better off focusing on the man who doesn't care about his red past.

Mainly because Pete knows exactly who Way is and accepts him for who he is (red past and all). And because Pete has a red past of his own.

Even though he could hide that red strap of his watch under his blue jacket. What a sneaky (but pretty) man he is.

Anyway, let's move on to the truth about Charlie's past coming out. You know what I love about this, though? Charlie is sitting there in blue.

He's being loyal to Babe and X-Hunter right in front of Tony, who is finally drinking something red again (that greedy green was getting boring, lol).

And even though Babe is livid, which he has every right to be...

Charlie is loyal to Babe. He fucking showed up in front of his psycho adoptive father and flashed his loyalty left right and center.

He's even confronted in a blue room. But Babe is too angry to see the loyalty (understandable). Instead, he runs to Way who is keeping his own secrets about his affiliations with Tony.

But Charlie is persistent enough to seek Babe out and tell him the truth. And luckily for Charlie, Babe chooses to see Charlie's loyalty to him rather than the past connection with Tony.

Too bad for Way, though, who thought he and Babe were having dinner that night to celebrate that Babe was single again. But, showing up with a bouquet of red flowers tied together with a red ribbon...

I'm sorry, honey, but I can't see that as a gesture of love (usually associated with red). All I see are secrets, Tony, and Red Racing.

Bad choice of color, Way.

So, excuse Babe for standing you up.

He's busy riding Papa with that purple light shining in the background.

Babe is gone and won't go back. His purple phone says so.

But Sonic... What's with that fucking red?!

He is giving me a migraine!

That's the end of this episode, and my image limit. So, let's move on to another post!

#crazy ass end of year rewatch challenge #rewatch challenge #rewatch #pit babe #pit babe the series #thai ql #thai bl #thai series #iq color post #the colors mean things #red #blue #yellow #my shit

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lenaboskow · 4 months ago

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So, were they all really collectively hiding Lou from the mean Buddie shippers all summer? Do you think they'll keep on "hiding" him now that we've seen him, or will they throw tons of promo with him at us?

I must confess, I didn't even feel too bad about seeing him (seeing something in an episode is always better and easier for me than spiralling about it in my head), and (I'm only saying this once, lol) I admit it was kinda cute to see the three of them together (not the behind the couch part tho) - but only as long as I don't have to see his fans' being all lovey-dovey about him🤣 or arguing with OPs of anti posts (why even go there to express your disagreement in the first place? You've got to realize these posts are not for you, right?) like I've already mentioned.

It's not weird, right, that I might find T kinda cute there (I'm sorry, I didn't hate it🤣) but don't want to read about how cute and sweet he is?

🏝️

no because man looked annoyed to be there and it pissed me off for buck. BUT can we appreciate the fact that he hasn’t be in any post ep promo like damn even gerrard was in promo they must really hate him

also i’m avoiding twitter rn bc my feed is a mess so tumblr only for a little while lmao

#911 #911 on abc #911 abc #911 spoilers #anti lou ferrigno jr

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astroninaaa · 11 months ago

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Hello! Non-ptbr speaker here. I’ve only seen Cellbit through QSMP and I hadn’t really understood the gravity of the situation until early this year when Cellbit released a statement talking about everything about the situation.

But that’s beside the point. I wanted to clarify a point of contention that I've seen around Twitter about this.

So this is in regards to Br accounts who claimed that either:

(1) Cellbit is only pursuing those who have tweeted maliciously against him after January 10 (the date when the PDF (which I assume is the response document to the incident 7 years ago) was published);

(2) Or that it is unfair for Cellbit to pursue the case before he published the mentioned PDF. (As there are apparently tweets from before January 10 included in the released links.)

I know very little of the law, if not nothing about the Br Law.

But I had initially assumed that regardless of whether Br accounts tweeted before or after January 10th, it wouldn’t really matter as a felony (as you mentioned, is likely the crime of calúnia) has been committed. So whether or not there was proof or not of the crime they accused Cellbit of committing, they still damaged Cellbit's wellbeing and reputation.

But I could be wrong especially because I can’t read ptbr and I'm relying on the Google translate function in twitter. So I'm trying to grasp the situation better especially within the realms of the Brazillian judicial system.

tldr: Are tweets made after January 10 weigh heavier than those before? Are the tweets before January 10 dismissible for the case of calúnia? Does the date of the tweets matter at all?

(If you've already answered this, I'm sorry for having repeated the question. I'm also not an English-speaker so I apologize if this is a little confusing in structure.)

hi anon!!! you bring a really really really good point here!!!

as you said yourself, since calúnia is a matter of accusing someone of a crime they didn't commit, no, the date of the tweets technically don't matter at all. even tho he hadn't released his statement and his proof against the accusations yet, there was still never any proof that he DID commit the crimes - there wasnt an official investigation, there wasn't a judicial action by his ex against him, and there wasn't even proof released "extra-officially" (like, not by a court/investigation but by the supposed victim herself) that could support any of those claims.

therefore, regardless of if the tweets were made before or after he released his statement (and a lot of them were), there were made without any proof.

however, here's the thing: i think the people who posted the tweets before his statement was released are the ones who have a stronger line of defense. he had never denied anything, he had actually implied some of the accusations (not all) were true before. ive been following this guy since i was 10 and i genuinely believed some of the accusations to be true because he straight up agreed that he had made mistakes and had to go to therapy to better himself.

it makes sense for at least some of these people to claim they had no way of knowing or that he complied with the accusations, and i think, depending on the judge, this might be a strong enough defense to get them to have a lower condemnation or to not be convicted whatsoever, specially since, as has been mentioned before, a lot of these people are kids.

i don't think everyone will escape from it because, at the end of the day, there was LOTS of nasty stuff being said and some of it didn't even come from his ex - when did she call him a pedophile? still, some of the tweets mentioned on the lawsuit call him that.

i can't give you a completely certain answer because at the end of the day i'm just a law student and it's a fairly new sort of action, so there's no way of knowing how it will be taken by the judge, but i do think he'll get some good money out of it, i just think he might not be able to get ALL the money out of it, you know?

#cellbit #qsmp #qsmp cellbit #discourse #law #also dont apologize anon im super up to answering questions!!! i hope this made sense

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kim-ruzek · 2 years ago

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its obvious this child loves adam more than kim just like you burzeks hate mom kim and prefer dad adam no matter how much you deny it! your friend lauren admitted she hates that mack call kim mom and likes dad adam more! your other friend mina has made dad adam thread but not mom kim thread! you all can deny you dont hate mom kim and pretend you like dad adam and mom kim equally but all your actions show otherwise! whenever there is dad adam scene you all talk about it for days. but when there is mom kim scene you all barely talk about it. theres only been 1 cute mom kim this season for only 2 minutes vs atleast 5 cute dad adam scenes and no one of you all noticed or complained about this. if this way other way around you all would have complained about this. this is why i wish kim will die because you all disrespect her too much and does mack! mack does not deserve kim!

I'm sorry I have no idea who the fuck you're talking about. My only friend who's called Lauren lives in Wales and has absolutely no interest in fandom (and also primarily goes by her nn lol) so idk who you think are my friends but I don't know them.

Also your facts are further wrong because we do gush and scream over cute mom kim scenes. I literally still get tags recommended to me like that whenever I type Kim.

And there's been more dadam scenes this year because his focus has been all about him really stepping and growing into the role of dad...whereas Kim already has with her mom storyline, this year for her has been about her own mental health growth.

Yet again I have no idea who those people are (twitter folks? My twitter is primarily used for the rookie and keeping up with my old na pals) but they don't speak for everyone and they don't speak for me. Because I adore mom kim (actually more than I adore dadam, so you're wrong on that front. Although it's only just about, and more because Kim is my favourite character marginally over Adam and also because mom and daughter bonds to me are so special especially single mothers).

Plus anyone who hates Kim's child calling her mom has misunderstood the whole last three seasons and most likely has internalised misogyny.

Finally, you don't want Kim to die because we've "disrespected" her (because one you've clearly seen a lot of my posts and others which show otherwise) but because for whatever reason you hate Kim/Adam/Burzek because here's the thing, people who are passionate about a character doesn't wish death upon them to escape perceived bad writing because death is an extreme and horrible thing.

And they sure as hell don't think a literal child doesn't deserve her wonderful adoptive mother.

#ree's asks #chicago pd

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lynsburner · 2 years ago

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BESTIE BESTIE BESTIE DID YOU SEE THE VID OF ANDY SINGING UNKNOWN ON STAGE????

https://twitter.com/hozier/status/1666156710816251927?s=46&t=LSoyIXqT91OLGNpISabobw

“you know the distance never made a difference to me” THE FIRST THING I THOUGHT OF WAS YOUR FIC 😭 this song is sooooo andy/lovely core im obsessed!! i can’t wait for it to come out, A) bc it sounds amazing already, and B) bc im so excited to hear your thoughts on it!!!

Oh... bestie... you might not like my answer for this one because I am absolutely begging him to put this one bACK IN THE VAULT (or whatever it is. Sorry I have too much Taylor on my mind after going to the eras tour twice now. And for the last time, I swear.)

Is it a bad song? Absolutely fucking not. It's gorgeous. But it hits a little too close to home for me.

So... I am about to tell a silly story. Picture this. It is late September. I am SEATED to see Carly Rae Jepsen at Radio City. I check twitter (yes I am on the hoz side of twitter. Not under this name, though lol). People are freaking out about a tik tok he made. I had only seen a small clip posted of him jamming on a guitar so I think nothing of it.

The curtain goes up. Carly comes on. I am having the most fun two hours of my life because how can't you when you get to hear the best opening number for an album ever made, sax and all? She ends with Cut to the Feeling, one of the most joyous songs ever made! I am on a happiness high! Nothing can ruin my night!

And then I am sitting at the bus stop and I check tik tok and realize it was a full song! A full song about a long-distance relationship! And I start SOBBING!!!! Because guess what? That song is SAD!

So I go from absolutely forgetting every bad thing that had ever happened to me to full-on crying about a failed relationship I was still not over!!! In the middle of 5th Avenue, no less!!!!

Idk if you've heard the full thing, but it is DEPRESSING! It's basically the opposite of Francesca (or the "I'd do it all over again" motif) ! He literally sings "And there are some people, love, who are better unknown" like??? Imagine thinking you're better off never someone than knowing them at all! (which, I know is my interpretation, and I can very much be wrong but that's what it's giving to me!) I can imagine! I was still in that mindset! Especially since this one was about a long-distance relationship! It hit me too fucking hard!!! I have literally ignored every live performance I've come across of it on social media since because it makes me absolutely sob!!! I wish I was joking!

Anyway, a hilarious bookend to this: the day he announced in that Instagram Q&A the date Unknown was officially being released? Guess who I was seeing in concert that night? That's right! Carly Rae FUCKING Jepsen!!!!! *Insert the "If I had a nickel" meme here*

But yeah, he got the real long-distance thing down to a fucking t, especially with the second verse, "Funny how true colors shine in darkness and in secrecy. If there were scarlet flags, they washed out in thе mind of me" because yeah, you can forgive a lot of shit when the person isn't physically in front of you! Also, "Where a blinding light shonе on you every night Either side of my sleep" to me is just a fancy little way of saying face time/late night calls lol. (Again, I could be wrong, but still!)

But (I am sorry for repeating "But"... BUT!) he also confirmed it's from circle 9, which is treachery! Which... well I am not defining a successful relationship as treachery, I'm sorry! Judas is in that circle! And I did too many years in Catholic school to know what that guy fucking did!

Anyway, unlike me and my ex (and whoever the fuck Hoz is singing about, may they have their peace and never have to hear this one randomly in a store or some shit), Andrew and Lovely are definitely on better terms in my mind and are absolutely thriving <3 As I said before, love those crazy kids! They're in their own universe probably looking at rings as we speak! Or face-timing since he's out on the road! Good for them!

This is also not an insult to long-distance relationships in general. I loved that shit. It was wonderful! The guy, though? He sucks! And I am still doing some reflecting on that (which I am sure will continue once I force myself to listen to Unknown in a non tik tok way!)

Lovely Anon, I know this is not the answer you expected, but hopefully, it makes you chuckle! Or at least gets you to listen to the greatest album ever made: Emotion, by Carly Rae Jepsen!

PS: thank you for that other ask because I have been putting "no plan" back into my rotation of songs and oh boy I forgot how fucking good it was!!!!!

PPS: I hope this didn't come off as too, "Uhm, actually!" because that was not my intent! The opening, out of context, is absolutely Lovely and Andrew coded! But the rest? Oh, she has words for him!!!!!

#like I said I know this is not what you expected but that song really hits me HARD #and I really don't cry to songs #except maybe treacherous and would've could've should've but that is for OTHER REASONS #anyway again i am sorry for this silly story #anyway these songs of his make me want to write an essay on the way hoz plays with perspective and how mayhaps he is the problem!#but again another story for another day #i need to go to bed lmfao #I need to start tagging these asks uhhh how about #lyn needs to stop talking

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honzuki-reymilie · 6 months ago

Note

Fandom-wise, I usually lurk around reddit, tumblr (that barely has a presence), and the jp fandom in twitter, but I haven't approached discord and the fics. If discord and ao3 are just as you say, then I start to understand why you're so pissed 99% of the time about the AoB fandom. Otherwise, I find it more chill and varied than what you've experienced.

Charlotte:

Too good kid. This might be an unpopular opinion but, while it is unfair to Charlotte, I actually think that Sylvester made the best decision that he could at the moment with Roz and Wil's engagement. There wasn't much way to keep Rozemyne in the duchy otherwise. Sylvester and Florencia could have tried to think more about Charlotte's feelings though (Florencia too because she only went to Charlotte after Charlotte's attendant asked her to), but it seems they're too busy thinking about poor poor Wilfried's future and position to spare a thought about her. It's kinda sad and ironic that the only way her dream can be fulfilled is when Rozemyne is out of the picture.

Rozemyne sees her mostly as a younger sister that she can dote on instead of her younger brother, as long as she fulfills her position as an adopted daughter of the archduke. She is compared to an ornament but I wonder how she would compare to Kamil and what furniture he would be. Roz didn't think that she wanted to be Aub since to her, the position of Aub isn't desirable and she didn't think that Charlotte was raised to compete against Wilfried. Personally, I can't fault too much Roz for this considering that she has barely spent any time with Charlotte to know more about her. I wish we could see more interactions between them, and I wish we could see more of Charlotte in general.

I'm at least glad that Charlotte is now the next Aub and that she's been taught the way to the foundation.

(While he is complex, has his flaws,and thoughts about him are mixed, Sylvester is generally thought to be a guy you can't hate. Just post away your thoughts about him if you want, I mean, you already did for Dietlinde)

Dietlinde:

I see a lot of people feeling sorry for her and the way she was raised, but it's the first time I see someone liking her for her bling and fashion. That's kinda refreshing.

"Yes, this goes against AoB's (admittedly ableist) “if you're not of use then you deserve any bad thing that comes your way” theme, goes against YS's standards,"

-> Yogurtland standards ≠ AoB/story theme.

Considering how there's a lot of readers feeling sorry for Dietlinde, I think that it's exactly how Kazuki has written her to be: a hateable villain who's also pitiful since most of her actions and personality stems from her upbringing, environment and the way she was raised. It makes readers think about the influence the education and upbringing can have on a person (this can also be seen with Georgine and other characters as well).

Hirschur:

Yay!! A Hirschur appreciation post!! That's rare!

I love Hirschur and she's such an underrated character!! Characters say that she isn't doing her job as a dormitory supervisor, but hey, she's only doing as much of a job as she's being paid for. Likewise, I wish we could see more of her!! Just how can there be only one chapter from her pov?? We. Need. More!!

...aaand it turns into a 1/3 Ferdinand hate post.

Sorry, I know you don't want people defending him, but I will. I mean, you kinda brought it on yourself by writing a lengthy wall of text in a female characters appreciation post but, anyway, feel free to not respond if you don't wish to.

Ferdinand does know that Veronica cut off her financial help as a dormitory supervisor. He's the one who told Sylvester about it and he's been helping her financially instead from the money he was making by selling the magic tools.

It looks like to me that he's respecting her a lot. Even after graduating and he's no longer a student he still calls Hirschur-sensei and uses polite speech (might be difficult to distinguish in english) when talking with her.

He couldn't have contacted her for about 7 years after he graduated since he was in the temple, and after that we can only guess the cause. Of course, it could be that Ferdinand is just being Ferdinand, but I think that it's more because of something along the lines of: "Now that you've graduated, you are no longer a student, and no longer Hirschur's apprentice. You are only an archduke candidate and a Sovereignty archnoble dormitory supervisor." - noble society. Rozemyne's contact with Ferdinand has been limited, Georgine's contact with Bezewanst has been limited, it wouldn't surprise me that they wouldn't be allowed to contact each other as they wish to. Even now they're only contacting each other whenever there's an excuse/opportunity related to work with a whole duchy involved (ex: Schwartz and Weiss's clothes, Raimunt and Ahrensbach's research that could be awarded).

He wasn't pissy about Hirschur taking Raimunt as a apprentice, he only took back the dangerous magic tools (especially if they were to be improved in a way that anyone could use them by lowering their mana cost) that he created from Hirschur's lab.

I don't mean to undermine what Hirschur did for Ferdi, it's still huge that she protected him even at the cost of her rights as a dormitory supervisor, but it isn't on the same level as Gunther and Effa who went to a 99% certain death by defying the High Bishop, or even Died and Karla who risked their lives by going to the temple and explaining themselves in front of a noble just to retrieve Lutz.

Besides, when he was showing his memories to Myne, he didn't remember Adelbert in a positive context. He was showing Myne the memory of Died telling Benno that having a child isn't about profit and loss, and then he remembered Adel who came to retrieve his son for the sake and profit of Ehrenfest (and because he was ordered by the Zent).

Also, the temple was a place where abandoned ones were sent to for their lack of mana, and criminals who are stripped of their positions and ranks. If one goes there, it stays as a scar forever among noble society. Ferdinand was officially stripped of his position as an archduke candidate, was officially no longer part of the archduke family and was demoted to a blue priest. Sylvester and Karstedt tried to protect him by giving him work and treating him like an archduke candidate, but it still isn't something to do to an ADC who didn't commit a crime (to anyone's knowledge) and was 1st in class in every course. Sylvester did it to protect Ferdinand from Veronica but he still chose to send him to the temple instead of punishing the person who was trying to assassinate him. He thought it would be only for a short while until his mom's "hysteria" would calm down but seven years ended up passing. (He also did it because he viewed the temple in a more positive light than the average noble because of the way his mother treated Bezewanst, but still.) Assassinations attempts aren't new to Ferdinand either, they started since his baptism. Considering all that, I think that it really can't be helped if he felt abandoned.

Delia:

I agree with you.

I can't believe there are people saying that about her. Bruh, she's like, eight!

I can't blame her for going to Bezewanst's side either. Other than what you said, there's also the fact that she's only ever seen his ""gentle and kind"" side.

What happened to her is sad and tragic. But regarding her punishment I don't think that Myne could have lied about it. She's a bad liar (and Delia too), Syl would have seen right through her immediately and just killed her alongside the other attendants instead. And it isn't within her power to retract the punishment either since it's a crime involving another duchy, the harming of archduke candidates etc.

And I can't blame Myne either for not fully trusting Delia (she did go out with them to downtown to buy clothes at least once though) and hiding stuff from her, after all while I can't blame her for it, Delia was still the High Bishop's spy and it could have endangered her life and her entourage, and all the orphans' too.

"They deceive her and make it seem like they're ripping her little brother from her for no reason, of course she feels cornered and threatened!"

-> This one is on Arno. He's the one who told her about the adoption, and in a way that would trigger her fear and anxiety.

Best female AoB character in your opinion?

Boy oh boy do I got Opinions™ about female characters in AoB!

So the thing is that if you plunked any given female character in front of me, my opinion is bound to be at least a little bit positive on some level. Yes, even Veronica. Yes, even Detlinde. Especially Detlinde. And many, many more.

So much so that I had a very difficult time narrowing things down to answer this ask— and unfortunately for y'all I thunk™ about it too much and was ultimately unable to narrow it down to one.

So we're getting: Charlotte, Detlinde, Hirschur, and Delia.

FOUR CHARACTERS, BABY. LET'S GO!

Charlotte

Charlotte is a very fascinating character, in my opinion. Generations' worth of grudges and torment and abuse, all crystalizing in this generation— crystalizing in her. Veronica's pain (because yes she did have a fucked up childhood, doesn't excuse any of her abuse but it does put it into perspective: it shaped her and she literally is passing the pain down) passing onto her children, Georgine's pain passing onto Sylvester, Sylvester's fears and Florencia's all reaching, reaching, reaching down until it got to her. Many people were affected by this chain reaction, undeniably, but in my opinion Charlotte is the point on the map where all these lines converge. Veronica took her brother and more than likely ostracized/abused Charlotte as she did Florencia. This made Florencia try to train her to be Aub. There must've been a touch of desperation in that choice. What does it do to a child, when they know they're being raised for a larger purpose? Their reason for existing? To know everything's laid on their shoulders? Sylvester on the flipside declared Wilfried as heir because he didn't want Charlotte to go through the pain his sister went through of being raised all her life to be Aub only to be snatched away, to be allowed to have a more hazard-free life in his eyes. But his approach, even as it stemmed from love (he loves, he loves so much, his love hurts, but this post ain't about him even as I regard him as an honorary girl bc he's hated as much as many other female characters seem to be but I digress), did not help as he is blind to what his children need (his love is deep as the ocean and twice as blind)— he projects onto Charlotte, and that… makes her feel small. Useless. Unworthy. What does it do to a child, to have your entire purpose be snatched from you? To be made to feel like your father does not see you as capable or worthy?

How do you deal with the weight of all these generational chains on your limbs?

How do you deal with the devastation of walls closing in on you?

Well, how do you?

Charlotte definitely has a complicated dynamic with her family members. Even Rozemyne. Especially Rozemyne. We'll… get to that in a bit.

Sylvester neglects her. I don't think that's up for debate. I am among his most ardent defenders (though it mostly stays in DMs since… I'm not convinced it would be received well) and I can freely say this. He neglects Charlotte. I don't think he dislikes Charlotte or prefers Wilfried or anything, but his way of expressing his love is undeniably detrimental to her well-being and antithetical to what she wants and needs. He's projecting his and Georgine's dynamic onto his children, and in trying to prevent animosity and bitterness he creates exactly that. In Charlotte's eyes, her father favors Wilfried way too much and neglects her, who has been desperate for someone, anyone, to acknowledge her.

Charlotte and Florencia as well, they have a fucked up dynamic. Florencia raised her to be pitted against Wilfried. What does that do to a child.

I understand why Florencia did it but it would've fucked Charlotte up!

She was raised for this purpose, by her mother, and said mother just stands by and lets it happen when her father takes her purpose away.

There's something fascinating to be found here. So much more fascinating than whatever AO3/Discord folk try to milk out of Rozemyne-Florencia. Charlotte's sense of obligation probably has a root somewhere in her younger years.

She's not even the center of the conversation when it comes to the subject of Sylvester's parenting. She isn't! She just isn't! Rozemyne is the focus 99% of the time!

He's neglecting her. EVERYONE is. She has nobody in her corner and yet she's expected to support everyone else.

Even though she might even resent Myne (for promising to support her and then Not Doing That) she wouldn't allow herself to feel/express it bc Myne risked her life to save hers.

The guilt! The sense of obligation/gratitude! The resentment!

I think she redirects a lot of what she might feel towards Myne onto Wilfried, a much less complicated recipient. But she still doesn't, can't, express it outwards because... well. Myne. For Myne's sake.

While Myne revels in her adoration, she doesn't care about Charlotte as a person. She has no true allies, her brother and father ignore her, and her sister looks at her without seeing her.

I keep remembering the fanbook tidbit of Charlotte being an ornament to Myne. She doesn't think Charlotte is capable of anything except looking cute and motivating her. If only the story and the fandom acknowledged that… but nope! She's just there to prop up Myne and bash Wilfried.

I don't quite think she's transmasc either. Yes, I know, I said the opposite before but it was me trying to fit in and figure out her character and after giving it much thought… her storyline deals with systemic misogyny, not gender dysphoria. She wants to be acknowledged for what she is, her capabilities, I don't think she's feeling any worse for being regarded as a girl in of itself— and I am of the opinion that it somewhat undersells her struggle and sweeps the misogyny she's facing under a rug via dressing it up with a queer headcanons. At the end of the day though, people are free to have any headcanon or opinion they so wish, and I have no authority over that. Also fyi I'm genderfluid in case someone accuses me of being transphobic.

All in all, I think she's such a fascinating character because she's the nexus at which all these lines all this hurt all this cumulative trauma from so many generations and so many directions converge into a white-hot light. Gabrielle, Leisengang, Veronica (look, she's a villain and I'll never excuse her for basically choking out an entire population, but I think she had a hard childhood that few acknowledge and more try to excuse and justify), Sylvester, Florencia, Georgine…

She had such potential. And what'd she get in canon and fics? Okay this is making me depressed let me move onto the next character on this list:

Detlinde

Ooooh boy, where do I even begin with Detlinde? She's my babygirl she's my blorbo she's everything. She is to me what Ferdinand is to the rest of the fandom. I will defend her every deed to my dying breath.

So I'll start by doing just that.

She's been neglected. Like, seriously. Do you think Georgine genuinely cares for her? Gieselfried? Do you think she has anyone who's truly on her side?

To take an excerpt from a fanbook (people regard them as like, gospel, right?):

Q: Lady Detlinde spins her wheels a lot during tea parties. Is she, by any chance, a bit thick?

A: She doesn't pay as much attention to her words and surroundings as someone her age and with her status probably should. She's not entirely to blame, though. As the third child of her duchy's third wife-and a girl, to boot-she had a half-hearted upbringing and was never expected to amount to much. That's why she's so proud about her mother becoming the first wife and why she always boasts about being Ahrensbach's next aub.

(Credits to @ming-sik for bringing me this fanbook quote, he actually read through the fanbooks at people's recommendation, so! Thank you!)

Children are always more perceptive than people think— they absolutely pick up on the fact that a particular adult doesn't really care or that they might hurt them, it's just that their defense mechanism kicks in to shield them from the fact since having your sole source of protection and guidance hate you is an earth-shattering revelation for a child to confront and acknowledge.

I've seen fics justify this neglect by saying even Georgine gave up on her because she was Just That Dumb or something like that. Which, even if you subscribe to that kind of narrative, it still doesn't make it not abuse. It still doesn't make it not neglect. No child should be abandoned simply because they did poorly in academics. Yes, this goes against AoB's (admittedly ableist) “if you're not of use then you deserve any bad thing that comes your way” theme, goes against YS's standards, but I am my own person with my fully formed morals and worldview, not a Yogurtlander with Yogurtlander morals, and I shall judge characters from my perspective.

(It is also in a similar vein that I dislike the notion that Charlotte's neglect is bad because she's more competent than Wilfried, no child under any circumstance deserves abuse or neglect, in my opinion.

People somehow stop registering abuse as abuse when it's happening to a character they don't like. Detlinde being drugged and likely assaulted is her fault and she's a whore. It's her fault she got discarded and neglected by her parents anyways. Wilfried deserves to be imprisoned in the Ivory Tower. They don't seem to think it's “real” abuse if the victim did something that “justifies” punitive narrative violence, it's just really unpleasant to see.)

With all that context in mind, I think this puts Detlinde's behavior into perspective. Being conveyed to, both explicitly and implicitly, that she is unlovable, she will never amount to anything, she's not wanted, she's not useful, all those things, she copes. She copes by loving herself because no one else would— though she spins it as “they just don't realize how awesome I am because they're too dumb for it”.

Remember what I said about children's defense mechanism kicking in to shield them from the fact since having your sole source of protection and guidance hate you is an earth-shattering revelation for a child to confront and acknowledge? Same principle here.

When people around her, all around her, constantly and routinely imply and convey that she's all these negative things, when they try to shoot down her ideas (you can't tell me her whirling dress and hair was bad, you haven't seen half the historical fashion in our world, the bling, the shine, the detail— any historical hairstyle, southeast asian headdresses of gold studded with gemstones, beetle wings intricately embroidered onto garments, the absolute flair, I find it hard to fault her for wanting something pretty, YS's fashion is so very bland), not listen to her, not guide her, all that, I think her narcissism is not only a predictable kind of trauma response/defense mechanism for her to develop but one could even argue it is virtuously defiant. Whereas Ferdinand chose to embody noble society ideals (don't try to tell me he's some deviant, he's just not), Detlinde stubbornly tries to maintain an ironclad grasp on what she feels is true to her.

I do not want to hear any of you come to tell me that Detlinde sucks, actually, because I've had to sit and watch as the entire fandom trashes on her and insults her and calls her a whore— if there's anything all three branches of the AoB fandom (reddit, discord, tumblr) agree on, it's that Detlinde deserves to be hated. I have had to live with y'all's vitriol all this time, don't bring this onto the sole post in the entire internet that sympathizes with her. Good? Good.

How am I to sympathize with a grown man over a fifteen-year-old girl who didn't even want the marriage in the first place? How am I to sympathize with a twenty-something man who is such a shitheel to her in every regard, manipulates her with the intention to have her dead eventually? She was so happy. She didn't want the marriage at first but she was so happy to have someone who seemed to appreciate her. Isn't that sad?

Detlinde is the Atlas holding up the sky of her entire self. No one else will do it for her, so she must. All alone.

She's such an interesting character to me. Too bad Kazuki hates girls/women and children and Detlinde is clearly written to be a shallow, hateable villain. And the fandom? Completely fell for that! Not a single soul besides @ming-sik and I refused to regard her as a fucking demon.

I love her because she's defiantly confident. A crystal flower in a collapsing cave. So dazzling, so beautiful because of it.

Uhhhhh how to end this section— okay let's do a quick-fire round of other shit I like about her:

She's pretty. Like super, super pretty. Shame people constantly give her shit for resembling Veronica.

She's funny. She's so fucking funny. Among the most amusing characters to me for sure.

HER BLING. I know people like to make fun of her fashion but! Her whirling fashion didn't even look bad to me! Also she has my single most favorite adult updo style. It's so elegant and pretty.

She's silly. I guess this also falls under the funny umbrella but she's such a silly goose I love her.

She's just a normal girl. She likes pretty things and plushies and is bad at school. She'd KILL it in a modern setting. I can so easily picture her at a cafe or an arcade. She wasn't born for YS she was meant to be somewhere happier!! Tragic!

She forces the AoB fandom to think about a woman at any cost. They can't get her out of their heads. So many fics exist just to bash her. Someone even made up OCs just so they could write more Detlinde bashing. Feminist queen.

Now to move onto another funny character who might have some surprising depth:

Hirschur

She's such a mood. She's my silly goose. She doesn't care about being proper or whatever. Stay unbound, queen.

Hirschur is so interesting (and endearing) to me because she isn't someone who gives a shit about societal conventions. She's quite un-noble-like for a noble lady. She's kind. She's eccentric. She would stand against the world for her students. The ones who have nowhere else to go. One would think Ferdinand would see her as his savior or a parental figure considering she did practically raise him (as he stayed in the RA all year long instead of going back home) and he just ghosts her as soon as he graduates. Hirschur takes in Raimund and Ferdinand has the audacity to get pissy about it. Dude. SHE'S JUST DOING AS SHE'S ALWAYS DONE.

She helps people! That's what she does! Hirschur spins it as for selfish reasons or bc of her whims but the truth is that she is just kind. I don't think it's a coincidence at all that both students she took under her wing as personal apprentices had no one else to turn to. She frames it as “picking out interesting/promising students” but the fact remains that she shields outcasts from the rest of the world. Heck, she tells Sylvester to keep not supporting her so that she isn't beholden to the archduke to choose who she's allowed to help! She! Doesn't give a shit! About politics!

Hirschur's isolation is way more compelling because she USES it to help people and clearly conflicts with noble expectations of faction politics. She ain't got no time for this faction politics nonsense she's got research to do and students to help!

She's actually eccentric too. She's actually an interesting freak. Her eccentricity puts her in a position where she doesn't really rely on people's approval of her or her choices. She does what she wants and if you get hissy and pissy about it then that's a you problem. She's willing to accept a massive drop in her resources (FOR research at that, she's fucking poor) because it means she doesn't have to isolate a kid with no other options.

It baffles me and honestly kinda irritates me that she's not appreciated enough, not by the characters, not by the fandom. Ppl make such a big deal about Ferdinand seeing parents go to hell and back for their children and it doing smth to him but... he's experienced that. He received that. Hirschur stood against the world for him. While he's having his pity party trying to cure Myne's amnesia, he only flashes back to his father Adelbert. Dude. STOP THINKING ABOUT THE SPERM DONOR THAT LET THE ABUSE HAPPEN, THINK ABOUT THE WOMAN THAT PROTECTED YOU. Like Ferdinand, what about all the other people in your life. There are so many people who love you, why do you not care???? In hindsight, him acting like a poor unfortunate abandoned soul in the temple is just insulting. He says all of “us” were abandoned to Myne but he wasn't abandoned. He's only in here because his brother is clumsily but genuinely trying to protect him and he ghosted his support network. Sylvester's attempt was misguided and he was trying to say “You're capable and I trust you and you have a place by my side, please stay by my side” by giving him work. He was trying to— okay I'll stop now this post isn't about Ferdinand and Sylvester it just makes me fucking mad the way Ferdinand acts. Ferdinand, my guy, you want family? WHAT ABOUT THE WOMAN THAT STOOD AGAINST THE WORLD TO MENTOR YOU?????????? Hirschur helped him well enough that he was happy and “having the time of his life” during his RA years. She worked so hard for that boy and for what.

She's just. Unappreciated.

But then again a female character having the fandom's attention might not be a good idea since somehow someone will eventually find a way to demonize her too.

Anyhow her eccentric brand of kindness is much more interesting and infinitely more compelling than Ferdinand's “hard-to-understand-kindness”. He isn't kind, he's just mean.

Hirschur never even told Ferdinand that Veronica was cutting her off for sheltering Ferdinand. Because that's the choice she made and she stands by it and that's not her student's problem. She probably didn't want him to feel guilty.

ALSO another disclaimer because I know this fandom too well: I will neither entertain nor respond to any commentary on this post that pertains to Ferdinand because I just know people are going to derail the entire conversation and center the discussion around justifying this golden boy on a post meant to spark a discussion about female characters that never get discussed at length. Do not comment or reblog saying Ferdinand isn't bad actually because blah blah blah reason. We have had to read y'all's extensive Ferdinand posting all this time. Everyone talks about Ferdinand and not about any of the female characters to the same extent. Keep that blue thing off this post. You can bear for things to not be about him for once. Okay? Okay.

Other reasons I like her:

She's funny. She's so funny. She's so entertaining.

She's adaptable and open-minded. When she saw Myne's PandaBus she went “oh! makes sense!” and immediately adapts it into something that makes sense to her. This is in contrast against Ferdinand who despite being a “genius innovator” only ever acts like a stick-in-the-mud-with-no-imagination.

I've said this before but she doesn't conform. She's proudly eccentric.

Everything people like about Ferdinand is actually true about Hirschur, in my opinion. Her kindness is disguised but she does have a heart of gold, she's ostracized and poor, she's a genius, she's unhinged and eccentric, she doesn't conform, she's even aro coded.

Again, do not try to defend Ferdinand on this post, we've had to live with people misinterpreting and bashing and insulting our faves (if they don't outright ignore them) all this time, I'm not even calling Ferdinand anything on the level of “whore” or “homewrecker”. Deal with it.

And now we move onto the next girl— last but not least is:

Delia

She's so tragic. Her entire situation is so tragic. How do people hate this girl I'm gonna cry.

First of all, she's a victim of grooming and manipulation— and she is a child. She is, what, eight years old? when she first appears.

Just wanted to establish that right off since I don't think even Myne sees her as a child.

She was being actively manipulated and used by the primary adult figures in her life, she views becoming a mistress as a good fate because at least she won't be starving and surrounded by death in the dark. She was “rescued” because she was pretty. Of course she'd cling onto that!

She doesn't understand what a “family” is because she's never had one and she was never raised with love. She asks Myne, “Are things like family really all that great? I never really understood what a family is.” and Myne replies “It's where I belong. It's the one place where I feel the most at ease.” and yeah! That's an honest and genuine answer! It gives Delia much to think about, and being raised in the Temple with no love… what else would she assume but “No matter how well I serve you, you'll end up leaving me anyway. Right, Sister Myne?”

This is a situation in which neither of them are at fault— Delia asked, so Myne answered honestly, and Delia… yeah. Why wouldn't she assume that. Why wouldn't she want to turn to the “certainty” she's familiar with, rather than give her heart to someone who'll leave her anyways? With Dirk she finally understands love, finally understands what family is, and she's so desperately terrified of losing this, the one unambiguously good thing in her life that doesn't have complicated stuff attached to it. Why wouldn't she try to protect it, protect him? Why wouldn't she want to be with him all throughout? And Ferdinand and Myne, they deliberately keep shit from her! They deceive her and make it seem like they're ripping her little brother from her for no reason, of course she feels cornered and threatened! And remember what I said about certainty vs the unknown? Thinking (well, knowing, really, because was she wrong at all?) Myne would leave her no matter what she does, thinking Myne would never trust or prioritize her (I mean, she didn't, Delia never got to exit the Temple w Myne like Fran and Gil did), and Bezewanst (the one who “saved” her) promises her that he'd not only find a better future for Dirk but also allow her to be with him? What's a young desperate child gonna do? Maybe if somebody had properly communicated with her, this wouldn't have happened.

And then she gets trapped in the place she feared anyways, never allowed to leave (she never got to leave the Temple in the first place).

And then her brother gets torn from her anyways.

They just trap her there forever. She never gets to be anywhere or go anywhere.

And I'm just… supposed to be fine with that?

Yeah, yeah, mercy, mercy, blah blah blah, I wish Myne would've planned for this to be temporary and not forever unto Delia's death. But nope! Myne never retracts her decision ever! Like hell Sylvester would've known what Delia's worst fear was, she could've just lied.

ANOTHER disclaimer: my god please do NOT come at me with justifications on why Delia's fate was fine and warranted, actually. I have seen fandom discussions and such justify it to hell and back and some even say Myne should've just let her die. If you're one of the people who think Delia deserved it, GO AWAY.

The way many people talk about her, if they talk about her at all, makes me think they genuinely do not recognize that her situation is fucked, that CSA and grooming are harmful at all. So there was once this fic I read. In the dedicated discussion space for that fic, both author and audience alike were like: “she's so dumb for wanting to be a mistress she doesn't know what reality is she just thinks it's easy glamorous work so we should traumatize her to teach her a lesson about reality but also to punish her for ‘having caused the attack on Myne in canon’ as well we're so smart” via making her watch a woman in labor. Which she of course got traumatized by.

Way to miss the point.

Way to miss the fucking point.

She's so desperate to be a mistress not because she thinks it's glamorous work but because she's terrified of being trapped in a place that neglected and starved her! It's a desperation for survival! It's a trauma response! Gods above, people are incapable of sympathizing with children (especially if they're girls) in this fandom and series.

Delia is… well. She's such a tragic character. Her wanting desperately to be saved from something that she also thinks is completely normal is… it's interesting. It's heartbreaking. I must sound like a broken record by now. Her upbringing and trauma actually informs the actions she takes, and she gets to have an effect on other characters! Her choices aren't without consequence, and that makes her interesting unlike a certain blue someone whose dickishness doesn't affect anything negatively ever. People in this fandom act as though trauma and its effects are only limited to affect dumb people. (A la someone saying trauma can't be the root of a certain character's dickishness bc it's “too sentimental” for that character, ignoring how trauma is illogical and affects you in ways you might not even notice). People insinuate she's dumb and had it coming. It's just so exhausting and disheartening to see. Thankfully, tumblr folk don't talk like that, because they don't talk about her at all. Nor about any other female character to the extent everyone talks about Ferdinand. I swear to god he's the only thing anyone ever talks about.

So yeah! Four female characters I find most compelling. Probably not anyone's pick, except Charlotte though she isn't talked about and explored in-depth to the same extent as a certain other character is. She just gets mentioned as being better than Wilfried and it's all done, no need to talk about everything else about her. I hope this post was able to give a new perspective to people who might not have considered thinking this much about these characters! Pretty please do keep negativity about them off this post, I do not need to know you want to put twenty bullets through Detlinde's body or whatever.

#discussion #text post #I feel like it would have been better to make a post separate for each character to spark more discussion #myne #Hirschur #delia #Ferdinand #charlotte #rozemyne #Dietlinde

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missmaywemeetagain · 2 years ago

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Pink Scarf - PART 14 (Elvis/Austin!Elvis x Reader)

Character/Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)

Requested: kinda

(Read more here--Pink Scarf Series Masterlist!)

Prompt: You are part of Elvis Presley's coveted inner circle, and the currently-disgruntled wife of one of the members of Elvis' famous entourage, the Memphis Mafia. After Elvis' dynamite first performance in Vegas, you find yourself in deep water when his magnetism finally gets to you after all these years. [ Fem!Reader ]

TW: Blood. Assault in various forms. Miscarriage. Death/Mourning. Pregnancy. Cussing. Infidelity. Historical inaccuracies in the Vegas timeline. Priscilla doesn't exist in this timeline.

Rating: Explicit/Mature (NSFW, 18+, so minors Do NOT Interact) || Word Count: 7.6k

A/N: I'm so sorry in advance, y'all, cuz this one might knock you on your ass with its dramatic angst and give you whiplash after the last few chapters. Honestly, I hurt myself a bit with this one! *sob* Needless to say, the tone is a bit different here. Please make sure you read the trigger warnings for this part because there are some sensitive topics!

While I hesitated to make a part all in flashback, I couldn't seem to avoid it without creating a ridiculously giant chapter, and I also didn't want to make you wait that long, so here it is, complete with a cliffhanger!

Speaking of that, thank you for being so patient while I got this out. Life is kicking my butt a bit, and I SO appreciate you hanging in there with me!

Also, look out for some fun 1960 Elvis posts/reblogs later so you can get the full visual of his March 1960 glory, in case I haven't described it well enough LOL. I included a Rollerdome pic at the end as well.

As always, to all my babies, honeys, and lil' mamas supporting me out there, your reactions, reblogs, messages, asks, and comments you've given me have been a blessing beyond expression. You all are the best community a writer could ask for! Thank you so much for your support. I am loving getting to know y'all better! I love every reaction and comment and ask, and I'm sorry if I don't get back to them all as soon as I'd like but know that I love you all and am so excited to be making new friends! And a big "Hey, Y'all!" to Elvis Twitter, who stumbled into the Pink Scarf vortex and are now with us in the chokehold of '69 Pink Scarf Era Elvis and are supporting and sharing this lil' fic over there--I see you and appreciate you! 👀💋

If you feel so moved, please let me know what you think or how you're feeling (or send me asks)! I think I put everyone on the taglist who requested it, but please let me know if there are any issues or if I missed anyone. There seem to be some issues with tagging that I can't seem to fix, so please know I'm not leaving you out intentionally! Also, if you comment on a previous part that you want to be tagged, I might not always see it, so feel free to message me if I miss you!

I imagined this with Elvis in mind, but Austin!Elvis works here, too, whatever floats your boat!

Apologies in advance if there are any grammatical errors or TW that I didn't catch.

(I did start cross-posting Pink Scarf to my long-neglected AO3 account (which some of you already discovered!), so if you are so inclined, you can check it out over there, though it's not all updated yet!)

March 1960

You shouldn’t feel nervous. It’s just Elvis. But having not seen him in person in over 18 months, or even really being able to talk on the phone, you wonder if too much time has passed, if too much has changed, if the man who went into the Army two years ago is still the friend you cherished.

You wait in front of Graceland in the icy March air with Jack and a multitude of other close friends and relations for Elvis to arrive, shivering in your heavy coat. It’s a strange limbo you all are in, this energy of the end of one thing and the start of something new and unknown. You can’t help feeling that everything is different somehow, that a new era has begun.

This feeling is compounded by the secret you are keeping. You had been wary to accept that your greatest hope is finally coming true, but after your appointment yesterday afternoon, you are finally starting to settle into the fact that new life is growing inside you. You haven’t told anyone yet, not even Jack, since Elvis’ imminent arrival has taken over everyone’s minds. While you have no need to be the center of attention, you also know that the news would get lost in Elvis’ return. No one could compete with Elvis for any sort of attention. It would be a losing battle.

Honestly, you are glad to sit with the knowledge on your own for a moment, to give yourself a minute to adjust to your new reality. And part of you is still quite scared that this could all be over in a flash. It’s still early, the doctor said, even though you were further along than you’d originally thought. But after two years of nothing, there is a piece of you that doesn’t want to get your hopes up.

Perhaps that is truly why you’re feeling nervous and it’s nothing to do with Elvis at all.

Everyone around you starts to buzz, snapping you out of your thoughts, and you look up to see the police cruiser, lights and sirens and all, coming up the long drive. When it finally pulls up in front of the house and Elvis gets out, everyone explodes with liveliness.

It takes a moment for the small crowd to clear enough for you to see him fully. When his tall frame comes completely into view, you feel like all the air has been knocked out of your body. You have to stop yourself from gasping out loud.

He looks beyond incredible. So incredible, in fact, that your heart is suddenly fluttering in your chest like a schoolgirl’s. You have seen him in his uniform before, of course, but the last time, he was so miserable after the death of his mother that the uniform seemed like a prison, an unforgiving punishment almost. Of course, you’d also seen pictures for publicity and ones he sent home which would occasionally show him in his uniform. He always was handsome, to be sure, but now…now, something was different.

You try to put your finger on it because it really has thrown you for a loop. You aren’t some fawning, adoring fan, for god’s sake. But you cannot help but openly stare at the man in front of you. He positively glows. His blue eyes sparkle with the happiness of being home, but it’s not only that. Taking off his cap and tucking it under his arm, he surveys the small crowd and his home with joy. The blue of his dress uniform brings out the reddish-blonde of his natural hair color and the blush on his cheeks. His hair is long again on top, grown out and curled up and mussed from his hat. Compared to the Army buzz cut, it is more reminiscent of his signature coiffed 50’s style, but somehow more mature yet rebellious at the same time. It suits him very well, you think, highlighting high cheekbones, long face, and his now quite chiseled jaw.

Elvis’ whole face is lit up with happiness, that signature grin white and wide, as friends and family gather around him. You can’t help but feel warm and fuzzy to see that smile again in person. When you finally catch his eye, you feel like the whole world stops. It’s ridiculous really, the way your heart throbs in your ears, but you swear his face changes almost imperceptibly when he sees you. You’re not exactly sure how, but it softens somehow, imbued with just a little more warmth than he’s already exuding. His eyes travel over you only briefly before Jack reaches out to embrace him, but in that short moment, you suddenly feel self-conscious.

Once his eyes leave you, you let out a deep breath that you didn’t know you’d been holding. You look down, clasping your hands in front of you, but when you look up again, Elvis is looking at you from over Jack’s shoulder. You are absolutely caught in his blue-eyed gaze.

Stop being stupid, it’s just Elvis.

Perhaps your sudden intimidation by your dear friend is that he left Graceland a boy but has returned a man. Even though he’s thin, it’s in a leaner, more carved, more refined way than before. He still retains a bit of his baby face, but his countenance is different, settled, more worldly.

After exchanging words with Jack that you are too overcome to hear, Elvis steps around him and comes towards you, his attentions focused completely on you.

“Hey there, y/n darlin’,” he says gently, his voice still heavily accented, high and bright.

“Welcome home, Elvis,” you say. It barely sounds like you, you think, too quiet and soft and breathless. You ring your hands nervously.

He begins to open his arms and you know he means to embrace you, and all of a sudden, you are certain you are going to faint. It’s as if you know that if he touches you, right here and now, looking as he does and with the way his essence is radiating around you, something will be irrevocably changed. Your heart flutters and your breath rate increases, and you almost panic as he closes the gap, those eyes of his looking at you in such a way that you feel completely, utterly exposed. You want to run away, but you are frozen to the spot.

Just as he steps up to you, he’s attacked from the side by his young cousin. The moment between you is thankfully interrupted, and you instantly step back and behind Jack as the boy wrestles Elvis.

“Jesus, kid, a little warning next time!” he shouts playfully, putting the kid in a headlock and rubbing his knuckle into his head. He catches your eye for a fraction of a second, his face somewhere between regret and chagrin at not being able to hug you. You manage a small smile, but practically hide behind Jack, grabbing his hand as you warily look on.

The horde gratefully moves inside, out of the cold late winter chill. The look that flashes over Elvis’ face as he crosses the threshold is one of trepidation, grief. You realize being home must come with mixed emotions; after all, the last time he was here was when his dear mama passed, and this was the home he’d gotten for her.

You’re not sure that anyone else catches how his breath hitches and how those pretty eyes become anxious. In that moment, you forget all about the strange reaction you had to him not a minute ago and you ache to go to him, to pull him into your arms and tell him it’ll all be okay.

It seems like both forever and just yesterday that he wept in your arms on the stairs, bereft and inconsolable, as his mother lay in the other room in her casket. He had refused to leave her, petting her, and talking their baby talk to her for so long that they had finally placed glass over her to dissuade him. Even then, he had sat vigil by her side and as you all looked on in collective grief, as the concern for him and his deteriorating state was palpable. Almost no one was able to get him away for longer than a few minutes—first it was the Colonel near shoving him and Vernon out the door and into the arms of the vultures with the cameras outside. Then, Sam Phillips was able to console him for a bit. Jack and the boys and Anita all tried to pull him away, but they were only swept up by him to go see Gladys, and his tearful ramblings continued about how beautiful she looked and her tiny little “sooties,” and then his wailing and sobbing would commence once again.

His mama had always been more than kind to you, and you cried for her loss, but it was truly Elvis’ grief that had the tears rolling down your cheeks. But you hadn’t wanted to overstep your bounds. However, he’d stopped eating and drinking, and looked positively exhausted, eyes rimmed with dark circles. Eventually, you could stand it no more.

“Elvis, honey, I need you…” you’d said, putting your hand on his shoulder gently. He’d looked up at you sharply, eyes so bloodshot and filled with tears that the blue of his irises seemed unnaturally bright, his innocence and grief leeching out of them. You faltered then at the state of him, stumbling over your words, wanting to be as kind as possible. You cleared your throat, continuing, “I need you to come with me, sweetie.”

And somehow, against all odds, he listened to you, of all people. Wordlessly, he’d stood, drawing you tightly to him, his arm gripping your waist and his tall frame leaning on you for support, nearly knocking you over. You’d stumbled with him to the stairs, and he’d just collapsed into you, his head buried into your neck, clinging to you as if drowning in his grief and you were his life preserver. His heart wrenching sobs had silent tears flowing down your own cheeks, and you’d held him, petting him, cooing at him, your protective gaze shooing the onlookers away.

Eventually, after some time, he quieted. You could feel the heat of his head through the now-soaked top of your dress. “Oh, E, you’re burning up,” you’d said, feeling his face with your hands. He’d worked himself into such a state that his body was rebelling against him, and you’d whispered to someone nearby to call the doctor.

At that point, he’d had little fight left in him, and Jack and Sam had helped get him up to bed once the doctor had come. But he’d still clung to you, not letting you leave him once in his ornate, darkened cave of a bedroom. Elvis wouldn’t settle or let the doctor administer the much-needed sedative until you were in the huge bed with him and he was curled in your lap. You had looked to Jack wide-eyed for some sort of support, part of you feeling a little scandalized by being invited into Elvis’ bed, but none of the men knew what to do, and you were the only one so far that had been able to get him away from Gladys. You just got harried looks of bewilderment from everyone, and the doctor had just nodded to you, as if giving you permission to climb up in with him, doctor’s orders. Anything to calm Elvis down.

So you had, your heart breaking for him, confused as to why it was you who he needed, not Anita or Vernon or Jack. Regardless of how strange it was, you were his friend, and you’d do anything to help, no matter your own comfort. You’d stayed with him through the night, back leaning up against the headboard awkwardly, staying even after the sedative took hold because when you’d tried to leave, he’d still clung to you, heavy and feverish.

For hours you’d held vigil over him, hand rubbing soothing circles on his back, eventually drifting in and out of sleep, though any movement from him had you startling awake. And when you woke in the morning, stiff as hell, and Elvis blinked up at you with those huge, grieving puppy dog eyes, the pang in your heart was evident and confusing.

After those few horrid days, you never spoke of it again. You never asked him why it was you who’d been able to reach him through his grief, and beyond a whispered “thank you” in your ear before he left for Germany, he never mentioned it again. Not that you’d seen him for him to do so. Maybe that is why you are nervous, you think, because the last time you saw him, he was so utterly lost, and for whatever reason, you had been a lifeline in one of his worst moments. And that feels significant somehow, though you aren’t sure exactly how.

That look you see in his eyes now reminds you too much of that look from 18 months ago. But there are a bunch of family and friends between the two of you, crowded in the entryway, bustling with excitement, all seemingly oblivious to Elvis’ distress.

It angers you a bit, the way they all clamor over him without truly seeing him. You stand as rooted as he is, as if your being able to move is tied to him somehow. He looks at you then, sensing your gaze or your thoughts in that almost preternatural way of his, and you see the overwhelm in his eyes. The way the endless blue of them seems clouded over with pain and grief. The way they almost beg you to save him.

This, out of everything, gets you in motion, stepping towards him in the crowded space, but there are so many damn people that you can’t get to him. By the time you sidestep cousins and friends, you’ve watched as his face changes, a mask slipping over those handsome features so seamlessly that it takes you aback. You stop short, amazed at the way he now smiles and laughs at the antics around him, as if nothing happened.

You realize he must’ve had to do this to survive over there. There was no way he could show that kind of vulnerability during tank maneuvers or whatever they had him doing. He’s protecting himself, you think.

But it still rubs you the wrong way. The ease with which he switched emotions was disconcerting to you. Somewhat bitterly, you think that he certainly didn’t need your help through his pain this time.

Oh, stop, you chide yourself. He’s been home all of five minutes and first you wanted to run away from him and now you’re mad his grief isn’t crippling him? What’s wrong with you?

“Okay, okay, y’all, I need to go get changed! The press is gonna be here any minute,” Elvis chuckles and waves you all off, climbing the stairs. His eyes catch yours in the briefest of moments and you swear there is something unsaid in them. And then he’s gone, up into his room.

A shiver passes over you, your stomach flipping, and then a wave of nausea comes.

Jack sees you and comes over with concern in his eyes, cupping your cheek. “You alright, treasure? You look a little green in the gills,” he says.

“I…uh…my stomach is upset, sweetie. Excuse me,” you say quickly, the bile rising, and you make quickly for the bathroom down the hall. Once safely locked away, you rush to the toilet, sick. Luckily, once out, the queasiness passes quickly.

The doctor said this could happen, you think, looking at the reflection of your red face in the mirror. You rinse your mouth out and splash your face with cold water. It certainly has nothing to do with Elvis. That would be absurd.

It’s just the look in his eyes is haunting you and you don’t understand why. Maybe it’s just your hormones being in overdrive. Yes, that makes sense. You are on edge and not seeing things clearly. Or maybe too clearly.

After a multitude of deep breaths, you straighten your dress and hair, then head back out into the fray. You find yourself in an empty house. You wander about to find that most everyone has gone back outside to witness Elvis’ triumphant return to Graceland as procured by the press.

They have arrived, littering the snow-dusted lawn and taking photographs and recordings of Elvis as he sits in front of a huge guitar shaped cake. You peek over someone’s shoulder and your jaw nearly drops at the sight. Clad now in all black, his wool coat is appropriate for the chill, but his black shirt is open halfway down his torso, a large gold medallion resting on his bare chest. If he’d looked like the All-American boy getting out of that car not 30 minutes ago, now he looks like the perfect combination of sweet and sinful.

Oh, dear lord.

His chestnut hair is perfectly imperfect, a rogue lock falling over his forehead. You think perhaps he’s added a little shadow and mascara to his eyes, or maybe he’s just exhausted from the long journey home, but whichever it is, the slight darkness on his lids gives him a stunningly beautiful look, his blue eyes popping and dancing with a combination of mischievousness, aloofness, and candor. Somehow, he has retained the youthful swell of his cheeks while also now having a jawline that could cut glass.

As you watch Elvis pick at the cake, deftly putting pieces of it in his mouth with his fingers, the innocent gesture seems almost obscene and that lightheaded feeling comes over you again, this time with a swell of warmth.

You want to look away, you really do, but you’ve forgotten your friend’s natural charm, how his essence pulls even the most unwilling into his orbit. His beauty is one thing, but the feeling that surrounds him is another thing all together. It’s not just you caught in the pull, however. Friends and family gather around, too, though they are likely not experiencing the same type of reaction as you.

Oh, this is utterly ridiculous, you think. Elvis has always been pretty and alluring. Get ahold of yourself.

You think it must be the pregnancy hormones, the way your body flushes from head to toe just watching him eat his cake and play to the camera. You force yourself not to follow as they direct Elvis towards Vernon’s office for the press conference, his tall frame gliding across the lawn in the most confident and nonchalant of ways. He commands his audience as though he’d never left, born to be at the forefront of everything. Focused on the cameras, he does not see you, or so you think, until he catches you staring and quirks his brow.

This finally prompts you to move, turning away quickly and heading back into the warmth of the house. You are glad for the cold, as it gives a reason for your cheeks to be as red as they are, and it douses your heated body with a much-needed chill.

You are embarrassed by your behavior. Elvis is not some idol to be gawked at, not by you. Perhaps it is because you feel so removed from him in his absence, or it is the unasked questions that linger in your mind from before he’d left, but your nerves buzz annoyingly.

You manage to avoid him after the press conference, as he’s utterly exhausted from his trip back home and all it had entailed and sends everyone on their way with the promise of a party the next evening.

Later, lying in bed, you wonder what in the hell came over you. It’s got to be the nerves and excitement about the life growing inside you colliding with the trepidation of your friend’s return all at once. You also know that pregnant women have a multitude of strange physical symptoms, especially in the early days, which would explain nearly everything.

That must be it. It’s not about Elvis at all. It’s your body telling you that you are pregnant.

Finally.

The thought sends a flutter of a different kind through your chest. It’s one of excitement and hope and a little fear. You place your hands on your belly, imbued with a sense of motherly responsibility. You drift to sleep thinking of holding your child in your arms.

The party the next night has Graceland lit up in a way it hasn’t been in years. An air of celebration surrounds the place, chasing away any of the leftover morbidity from Gladys’ passing. You hold Jack’s hand tightly as you enter the mansion, that strange anxiousness from yesterday threatening to ruin your night.

Maybe you should have told Jack about the baby before you came, but no moment seemed quite right. Telling him before work would have distracted him and telling him before the party still seemed to be stepping on the toes of Elvis’ return. Tomorrow, I’ll tell him for sure tomorrow, you think pointedly.

The warm air of the house nearly overwhelms you, and the two of you strip your heavy coats and head towards the sound of Elvis’ boisterous laughter. Your dress is fitted only at the waist and not over the belly, which you are glad for, even though you are hardly showing yet.

You manage to find a seat in the corner with Jack far enough from Elvis that you can breathe, as the fact that he still looks incredible has not changed in the last 24 hours. Why you are so completely stuck on his shocking handsomeness and consumed by whatever prowess he is exuding, you still do not quite know, but it continues to affect you and keep you wary. Shaking off your unhelpful thoughts, you busy yourself talking with Anita, Pat, and the other girls as the men joke and play. After a while, this finally settles your nerves, but you are very conscious of not letting yourself get too close to Elvis as the night goes on, as if being too near will disrupt the tenuous equilibrium you are trying to maintain.

Later in the evening, you excuse yourself and head to the restroom. You can’t help but look in the mirror, rubbing your belly even though it’s impossible to tell yet. This puts a smile on your face, your sweet little secret. And this is how you exit, smiling, stepping into the dimly lit hallway.

“Hey, darlin’.”

“Shit!” you gasp, jumping out of your skin at Elvis leaning casually against the wall across from you. Your heart gallops against your ribcage, one hand flying to your heart and the other to your belly in a protective gesture. “Elvis, you scared the hell out of me!”

“Sorry, y/n,” he says, pushing off the wall, eyes remorseful but watching you carefully.

You find yourself barely able to look at him with him being this close. You will your heart to slow, will yourself to act normal, but it’s like you can’t. You can’t quite meet his eyes, you can’t quite breathe and escape is all you can think of. You awkwardly gesture to the bathroom, thinking that it’s why he’s lurking in the hallway, and then you step away from him without another word.

“Hey, now,” he says from behind you, perturbed, “You wait just a damn minute.”

Elvis’ long fingers circle around your wrist, grabbing you, and it feels like fire. Startled, you turn back and look down at how he holds you firm. You hardly have a moment to process that he’s touching you before he’s pulling you into a room across the hallway. Yelping, you have no choice but to follow—he’s much stronger than you—and he holds fast as flips on the lamp and then shuts the door behind the two of you. He releases you, then folds his arms over his chest with a scowl.

“Elvis…” you start, confused and shocked and trying to process whatever is going on.

“Did I make you mad or do something to offend you?” he interrupts, his voice laced with hurt. Those intense blue eyes of his lock you in place, betraying his churning emotions.

“What? No, what are you—?” you sputter out, faltering under his gaze and needing to look away.

“That! That right there. You can’t even hardly look at me!” he points, voice raising angrily. “You barely said three words to me since I been home!” He steps towards you and instinctually you step back, a hand flying to your belly, as the intensity of being this close to him has you completely overwhelmed.

His eyes widen. “Look at you, you can’t even be in the same room as me without skittering away like a little bird. I thought I was imaginin’ it for a minute.” Elvis pauses, looking you over. “Are you afraid of me?” he asks quietly, the hurt palpable in both his body and voice.

Your heart aches at the sight of him like, forcing you to relax and be more mindful of your actions. “No, of course I’m not afraid of you, Elvis,” you breathe. You aren’t, truly.

“Then what did I do?” he asks with such childlike innocence, such hurt, that your heart breaks for causing it.

“Nothing, E, you didn’t do anything, I swear,” you insist, going to him, unable to bear the look on his cherubic face. You force yourself to get close, pushing through your silly fears.

“Why ya bein’ so strange then, baby?” Elvis asks, eyes scanning your face. This close, you realize you could fall and drown in their oceanic blue intensity.

How can you answer that? You certainly cannot say, “Yes, Elvis, I’m being strange because you came back too handsome and your charming presence overwhelms me, and I don’t know where I stand with you, and oh, by the way, I’m pregnant.”

Your brain scrambles for an answer as the tension between the two of you increases to a level that has you sweating, and you blink up at him, flustered. “I…I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be like that…I guess I am afraid that you’re different, or that things have changed too much while you were gone, or that it’s been too long and that you might not, I don’t know, you might not see me as your friend anymore?” you prattle on, the honesty in your words surprising you. The idea and the truth of it brings tears to your eyes.

His beautiful face softens, his mouth popping open as emotions flash over his features so quickly that you cannot grasp them completely. You feel utterly caught up in him, the loss of control and your feelings frightening you.

“Never,” Elvis whispers finally, “Never in a million years could that happen, baby.” The way he looks down at you is charged, confusing, intense.

Your heart flips. A rogue tear slips down your cheek. Stupid hormones.

You are close enough now that you can feel the energy of him pulsate around you. It makes your breath catch when he brushes the tear off your cheeks with the backs of his fingers. You’re not sure if you can bear him touching you more than that because it sends a shockwave through your body.

“So, you missed me?” he asks, a sideways grin beginning to widen on his face.

“’Course I missed you, you idiot,” you sniffle.

“Some way of showin’ it,” he jokes now, breaking some of the tension.

“Well, I’ve had some things on my mind,” you say pointedly. “Life didn’t stop just cuz you were in Germany, ya know.”

You don’t realize that your arm has been wrapped over your belly all this time. Elvis narrows his eyes at you, steps back, and then looks you over very deliberately. Self-conscious and confused under the scrutiny, you blush.

“What?” you ask nervously. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

A huge smile spreads over his features and his eyes light up. “Congratulations, doll,” he grins at you.

He knows. Elvis, of all people, knows your secret after spending less than five minutes with you.

You are shocked enough that you don’t try to deny it. “I…How…?” you stutter out.

“You bein’ so skittish and protective, and the way you been holdin’ yourself this whole time is different. Explains that real pretty glow about ya, too,” he says, booping your nose playfully.

You blush harder. “Elvis, I just found out. No one knows yet, not even Jack, so don’t you dare go saying anything yet. It’s still real early,” you say in a warning tone.

Elvis nods, practically bouncing with excitement.

“Seriously, E, not a freakin’ word, promise me!” you say. He is a terrible secret keeper.

“Okay, okay, I promise!” he grins.

“Lord, with the way you’re buzzing, you’d think I was having your baby!” you laugh.

Something changes in his eyes, but it’s gone so quick that you can’t put your finger on it. He does still a bit, though, and you look at him quizzically. He doesn’t say anything and just looks at you openly. The air has shifted once again.

“Well, we should probably get back out there. Everybody must be missing the man of the hour,” you say, clearing your throat and turning to leave.

Before you can go far, Elvis’ fingers dance over yours, reaching, as if wanting to hold your hand and pull you back but hesitating as if he shouldn’t. Your breath catches, an odd feeling blooming in your chest, like you are falling. You look back and down, seeing and feeling his fingers graze yours in such a strangely much-too-intimate way. He doesn’t stop, fingers brushing and winding through yours. You can’t help the way yours start to move around his in the now heavy silence. Your eyes raise to meet his, heart racing.

“Y/n, I—” he starts to say, voice low and gaze intense.

“EP!! Where the hell you at, man?” Red shouts from the hallway, startling you both, causing you to drop your hands as though they were suddenly on fire. As if you were caught doing something you shouldn’t.

Elvis visibly shakes himself off and crosses in front of you to open the door. It opens a crack and then he stops, turning back to you quickly, mouth open as if he wants to finish what he was trying to say. He must think better of it, though, because he just shakes his head again and sucks in his cheeks before heading out the door without another word.

You pause, frozen to the spot, as your heart thunders in your ears. Befuddled, you try and process the last few minutes, try to piece out what the hell just happened. Your hand splays on your belly, your face hot and your body warm.

You were right, you think, a lot has changed. Everything and nothing, all at once.

After that, things move quickly. With Elvis’ new knowledge, you tell Jack immediately about the baby, pulling him aside at the party. He is thrilled.

A few blissful weeks pass. You’ve been feeling okay physically, just some nausea and lightheadedness, but your nerves are still a bit on edge. The strange moment between you and Elvis the night of the party lingers in your mind, just under the surface, and every time you see him, that odd falling feeling comes over you for a moment. It doesn’t help that when he sees you, something in him changes. It’s so subtle that you doubt anyone notices; in fact, you think you could be imagining it if not for the charged, unreadable look in his eyes. But to you he seems overly attentive to your every move, protective even.

You try and chalk this weird intuition and the way your body feels up to the pregnancy. Your body is changing a little each day, and maybe this is just a part of it.

Elvis has been enjoying his few weeks at home before everything starts up for him again, and consequently, so have all of you, finding yourselves pulled back into his orbit easily. He’s travelling down to Miami soon to be on Frank Sinatra’s show and then he starts filming his next movie in April. You have mixed feelings about this, dreading him leaving so soon again, but you also think perhaps it is a good thing to be away from him considering the tricks your mind seems to be playing on you.

Tonight, he rents out the Rainbow Rollerdome for an evening of what he dubs the “Roller Skating Wars.” You, of course, will not be skating in your condition, but that certainly doesn’t stop you from putting on a cute polka dotted dress and going to observe the chaos you know will ensue.

Jack, unfortunately, stays home, struck suddenly in the afternoon with a sore throat and fever. You tell him you will stay home and take care of him, but he brushes you off and tells you he’s just going to be sleeping anyway, that you should go and have fun. He practically pushes you out the door.

When you arrive at the Rollerdome, you quickly find the girls and plant yourself in one of the big booths with a coke, some popcorn, and some candy. Your cravings for sweets have been intense this last week, and you pick delightfully at the confections as you watch everyone skate around.

Elvis has a silly grin plastered on his face as he wheels up to your table, his hair so long and fluffy on top that it bounces with him, product keeping it standing nearly straight up. On anyone else, it would look absolutely ridiculous, but with Elvis being Elvis, it just seems to highlight how incredibly handsome he’s become. Honestly, he nearly takes your breath away in his dark polo with the popped collar, his eyes electric and dancing, his face long and jaw chiseled.

At least you know that you aren’t the only one noticing the change in his looks, because the other girls seem to blush and smile more as he looms over you all, the skates putting him nearly six and a half feet tall.

“Ladies, everybody got their skates?” he drawls charmingly.

Everyone giggles and there’s a chorus of “Yes, Elvis!” as they show off their skates. For a moment, you are a bit upset that you can’t skate, but that is quickly banished by the excitement of the life growing inside you.

“Well, go on then!” he motions, and the ladies scurry, happy to be summoned.

After they clamor out of the booth, Elvis looks at you more seriously.

“No skating for you tonight, right?” he asks protectively, cobalt eyes narrowing.

Your heart does that falling thing for a moment before you respond. “Nope, feet planted firmly on the ground, thank you very much!” you smile.

He nods, pleased by this. “Where’s Jack? I haven’t seen him,” he asks, looking around.

“Oh, he’s at home, sick. Booted me out of there. I think he was annoyed at me hovering, to be honest,” you chuckle.

“You gonna be okay over here? I don’t want you to be by yourself,” Elvis says, concerned.

“Oh, I’ll come and watch you all here in a minute. My back’s bothering me a bit, so I’m fine to sit for a spell.”

“You sure you’re okay?” he asks again, brow furrowing, as if sensing something about you that you couldn’t sense yourself.

“Yes, E, I’m fine. Don’t you worry about me. Now, shoo, and go have some fun, but for god’s sake don’t go killin’ yourself or anyone else out there!” you laugh.

Elvis looks at you in that unreadable way of his for a moment, then a wide grin spreads across his face. “No promises!” he shouts as he skates away.

You let out a breath after he leaves. His presence is still overwhelming to you, no matter how much you try to logic it away, so for now you are just accepting it. Such is living a life with Elvis in it.

Your back really is starting to bother you, which you attribute to the obvious, and after a few minutes alone, you realize you would rather be around people than not. You get up from the booth, then a wave of dizziness overtakes you and you grab the edge of the table for support as you blink away the spots in your eyes.

You wonder for a moment if you might be coming down with whatever Jack has, but your throat is fine. After a moment, the wave mostly passes, so you make your way to the skating rink to watch the group from the sidelines. There are a few people on the sidelines, and you have fun making small talk and watching the antics in the rink. After a bit, most of the girls come back out as Elvis and the boys are getting pretty rough, and part of you is a little glad Jack isn’t here to get injured.

You ignore the ache in your back (it’s just something you’ll have to get used to, after all) and another wave of lightheadedness hits you as you all head back to the table. You are starting to feel distracted, your stomach churning now a bit, too, and you remind yourself that being pregnant isn’t necessarily a picnic. You feel a bit claustrophobic now, shoved in the booth with the other ladies, and excuse yourself to the restroom, thinking it might be time to go home.

Something’s wrong, you think, a feeling of dread coming over you. Forcing yourself to breathe, you remind yourself again and again that you are just pregnant and these are symptoms of that. You pause at the water fountain to drink, hoping the water might settle your stomach.

As you are bent over, someone zips behind you on skates, then suddenly you feel a hand groping your backside.

Yelping, you choke on the water and jump, turning around.

“Hey there, pretty girl,” a man you don’t recognize leers at you, way too close for comfort.

“Excuse me,” you say haughtily, your heart suddenly pounding in your chest, making your lightheadedness even worse. “I think you have me confused with someone else.”

“Naw, you’re the prettiest girl in here. Why ya all by your lonesome?” he purrs at you, the sound setting off every warning bell in your body, adrenaline clashing with your dizziness and churning stomach. He leans down, as if to try and kiss you and you push him back.

“Leave me alone!” you say, your voice raising in both volume and pitch. You try to sidestep him, but he grabs you hard and presses you into the wall. You think you might vomit all over him.

“Don’t be like that! All I want is a little kiss,” he says, one wandering hand groping your chest as his lips come at you.

“Don’t touch me! Stop it!” you shriek, trying to squirm out of his grasp as his disgusting mouth roams over your face and neck. Your body betrays you, though, your back throbbing, weakness overcoming your limbs, and you can’t fight him off. You curse the fact that the bathrooms are so far back from the rest of the group, and you pray that someone hears you.

“Get off of me!” you try to scream, but he’s trying to silence you with his hand. Panic overtakes you now as you realize this man is going to hurt you, but in your current state, you are unable to fight.

“What the fuck are you doin’?!” You hear the low growl before the horrible man boxing you in is yanked backwards and sideways, his eyes bulging in surprise. You gasp as you watch Elvis collide with the man, his momentum from how fast he must have been skating sending the man flying.

The man stumbles and rolls, flailing and falling, and Elvis looks like you’ve never seen him before as he spins around. His eyes are dark and lethal, his jaw clenching and unclenching as his chest heaves with his breath. He looks terrifying, his focus singular, and you are almost afraid for the man. Almost.

“I asked you a fucking question,” Elvis growls again, pulling the dazed man upright by his shirt. “What the fuck were you doin’ to her?!” he yells, pulling back his arm and then socking the man in the jaw so hard you can hear the crack. The man is stunned for a moment, blood beginning to seep from the corner of his mouth, but he recovers, taking a swing at Elvis.

It barely grazes him and doesn’t even phase Elvis, who seems possessed. “Don’t you ever fuckin’ touch her!” Elvis shouts, then punches the man in the face again, hard, sending him flying.

Things are happening so fast, you can barely process it. You can hardly breathe, the waves of dizziness pouring over you, making it hard to focus.

Elvis goes for the man again, and suddenly you are fearful he might kill him because he seems so blacked out with rage. Elvis hits him again and the man falls to the floor in a heap, bloody and bruised.

“Elvis, Elvis, stop!” you try to call out, but your voice is too quiet, wavering, and he is too far gone. You need to stop him before he does something he cannot take back, and you know something is wrong with you because you can’t get your body to move the way you need it to.

It’s then that a sharp, searing pain burns in your abdomen, and a primal scream bursts from your lungs. A shockwave of agony rolls through you, knocking the breath from your body. It’s so sudden and all-encompassing that you see red, and you clutch at your belly, your head spinning, fearing the worst.

The baby.

Your cry finally snaps Elvis back to reality because he’s with you in a flash, fear and concern flashing over his features, replacing the fury that was there mere seconds ago.

“Y/n! Y/n, what is it? Did he hurt you?” he gasps, looking you over as tears stream down your cheeks.

You can’t catch your breath, and your heart is beating too fast. Then, you feel hot liquid spread from your belly downwards, life spilling out of you, running down your legs. You feel sick as you look down, Elvis’ gaze following your own. That’s when you see the dark red begin to stain your dress and your stockings.

It’s over, it’s over, the baby, oh god, runs through your head, a dismal chant in your mind. You look at Elvis with resigned horror, but you are feeling so lightheaded, you can barely focus on anything. Even the pain starts to wane and feel distant. You know this isn’t normal, even for a miscarriage. Something is terribly wrong.

“No, no, no, no, no,” you hear him beg, his hands on your face, your shoulders, his eyes wild with terror now. “We need help over here!” he bellows, never taking his eyes off you.

They are so beautiful, those crystalline eyes, those dark lashes, you think absently as you begin to slump over.

You are somewhat aware of his strong arms catching you as he slides down with you to the floor. They feel so warm and comforting, you think. You blink up at him, your vision starting to dim.

“Y/n, no, don’t you dare, you stay w-w-with me, b-baby,” Elvis says in a panic, shaking you, pulling you into his lap. A sharp metallic smell permeates the air. “Somebody c-call a damn ambulance!” you hear him shout. You can hear the terror in his voice, in his stutter, and you wonder why he’s so scared. You’ve never heard him this scared.

“Elvis?” you whisper. You try to keep your eyes open, but it’s so hard.

“Yeah, b-b-baby?” his voice shudders. You can feel his chest heaving as he presses you into him, rocking you, tucking your head under his. He always has to be moving, his energy always vibrating around him.

“I feel so strange…” you say, and you do. You’re aware of the pain but it feels so far away. Everything feels far away except for the heat of Elvis, which feels like a blanket around you. With the warmth pouring out of you, you start to feel cold.

“I-I-I know, baby. Come on, you stay awake, now,” he says in your ear as your eyes start to close. He shakes you again. You force them to flutter open. You think whatever is happening must be really bad if he’s so scared.

“Tell Jack I…I love him,” you breathe quietly, just in case.

“You tell him yourself, damnit,” Elvis chokes out, pulling you in closer.

“Thanks for…being…my friend…so good to me,” you say, but it’s not enough. You can’t seem to get the right words out, your mouth filling with cotton. You bring your shaking fingers up to his cheek, your face is buried in his neck, his smell surrounding you. He smells so nice. He feels so good wrapped around you. You’re not nervous to be near him anymore, all of that seems so silly now. Your hand drifts and you feel his full lips under your fingertips. They really are as soft as they look.

You can’t keep your eyes open anymore and blackness starts to swallow you, your hand falling onto his chest, but you feel unusually calm.

“No, no, no! Oh, God, don’t—please don’t go. I-I love you, y/n, please, I love y…” Elvis whispers pleadingly in your ear.

His quiet, startling confession fades away and is the last thing you hear before the world goes completely dark and silent.

Elvis at the Rainbow Rollerdome, March 19th, 1960

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charcubed · 2 years ago

Note

I keep seeing posts that are like "interpretations of bi!Dean and gay!Dean are equally valid!" and I used to be like, sure, straight!Dean is definitely wrong but beyond that, see him how you want, who cares.

But now (esp after the Last Call script) I just don't understand the gay!Dean truthers? I follow quite a few on sm, and when I initially followed them I was like "they accept Dean is queer, that's good enough for me." But now they're really starting to get to me and it's not really worth arguing about to them, but I wanted to rant to you about it, cuz you get it.

The script literally included "gorgeous women" in the bar. Dean has canonically been sexually AND romantically attracted to women. He's based off THEE bisexual Neal Cassady.

Like I'm not really trying to defend m/w relationships (lol) but why do even queer ppl insist on erasing his identity when it's so clear? Why do they have to take that away?

Gay!Dean in AUs is one thing, but in the actual, textual canon of the show, Dean is bi. And no, gay!Dean and bi!Dean are NOT equally valid interpretations. And I don't think I'm an asshole for saying that 🤷🏼‍♀️

Sorry it took a few days to get to this. Work and life have kept me busy and tired!

Unironically and non-sarcastically, Anon, I'm glad you've seen the light and seem to understand this topic more now. You are, of course, entirely correct. And you're not an asshole for saying it either.

I'm going to take this opportunity to answer your (potentially rhetorical) questions, and also bounce off of you and lay some stuff out about this topic in general at length for the first time–despite the fact that it may turn me into public enemy #1 again. I am already hated for non-combatively voicing these facts on Twitter (this thread tends to be considered one of the "ground zeroes" of the nonexistent "debate" lol), but I have avoided being dog-piled on Tumblr so far, so... fingers crossed I can miraculously keep it that way!

My hope is that anyone who is predisposed to taking this topic very personally just moves on instead of attacking me (or subposting me?) for any of what I'm about to say. I'm also not forcing anyone to read this, before anyone's like "that's way too many words" or "it's not that serious lol."

I do think this topic is important. I've made the decision to publicly spell out why. And if anyone doesn't want to read it, that's their prerogative.

To your questions, Anon:

I think a lot of this comes down to a fandom-wide problem (all fandoms recently, not just SPN) of not understanding the difference between headcanon and canon, the dimensions as to why that distinction does have its uses and its necessity, and the value in both. I'll get into this later.

But in this fandom specifically, based on observation and lengthy conversations I've had with a dozen long-time fans who are my friends... I personally think it's maybe a new dimension of viewpoint that's branched out from a holdover of "all interpretations are valid" being the party line people have clung to a very long time. (That’s also true in other fandoms, but I think it’s especially true here.) It's a form of solace people don't want to deviate from. No one wants to be seen as or feel like the ~jerk~ who's ~invalidating another person's view of canon~ in response to someone else's knee-jerk reaction of hurt. This is a fandom with early-2000s cultural baggage and context, where people dealt with feeling like the "crazy fangirls" who shipped Destiel and dared to call out queer subtext. Misha's "You're not crazy" tweet exists for a reason. I do feel like a lot of well-meaning people–aside from misunderstanding or being ignorant to the analytical roots of this topic and why they absolutely matter–just know what it feels like to have their thoughts on queer content in a show feel "invalidated," and they don't want to be perceived as doing that to other people. And/or: they’ve felt invalidated before (in this fandom or others!), and so they’re hypersensitive to anything they perceive as doing that to them again, especially if they tied personal identity into the projections they’re making onto the media they enjoy.

I understand that people don’t want to seem ~mean~ or make waves. I also don't want to seem mean or be mean, which is why I try to be as clear as possible whenever I talk about this and I never go after people directly (or interact/reference any of the many subtweets from people who openly talk shit about me. haha). But the facts shouldn't be seen as "mean"; they are simply facts. And yes, they absolutely matter.

Because the thing is... none of the above has any bearing on the nuances of the topic at hand, the indisputable fact that Dean is bisexual in canon and that claiming otherwise is erasure, and the truth that none of this should be seen as a threat to people's headcanons.

These are all things that people should understand, and I will not apologize for knowing that and saying it. Misunderstanding this–making the false claim that “all interpretations of Dean’s sexually are equally valid as long as you see him as queer”–is an act of bisexual erasure in this context, and it often (unintentionally!) plays into biphobic talking points. And yeah, in my opinion, that’s something people should care about because it’s worthy of both personal and fandom examination. It is, in fact, why “representation” matters at all.

Let’s not kid ourselves: the bulk of this fandom-wide discourse is about Bi Dean vs Gay Dean. So, y’know, that’s the bulk of how I’m going to address it to just get it all out there.

Right out the gate, let me clarify this: I am not saying–now or ever–that those who are self-proclaimed “Gay Dean truthers” or argue that “Dean being gay in canon is a valid interpretation” are deliberately coming from a place of malice and the intent to contribute to bisexual erasure. By all means, I’m sure most aren’t! Nonetheless, intent does not equal impact. I’ve even seen people say “I’m a Gay Dean truther and I’m bisexual, so how could I possibly be contributing to bi erasure by arguing for Gay Dean?” But in this situation–as in any other–no one is immune from unwittingly perpetuating harm, even including bi people. And it’s important to understand why that is.

“Interpretations” are not opinions, not all are equal, and they do require some level of skill. This is not a personal attack, or a moral judgement on anyone, or somehow a threat to people’s enjoyment of a favorite character. It is just fact.

Gay Dean is not a valid possibility in canon. There is no lens that justifies an argument of it with canonical basis. I have to break down why, in order to sufficiently express why claiming otherwise is a harmful position to take, so bear with me.

(No, this is not an invitation for a Gay Dean truther to treat this like a “debate” with me or waste time writing out a counterargument. Please just exit the tab if you’re somehow here battling that urge.)

For someone to say that Dean is gay in canon, here is an incomplete list of what has to be erased, ignored, or explained away:

• His sexual attraction to, romantic love for, and relationship with Cassie.

• His sexual attraction to, romantic love for, and relationship with Lisa (whether or not one thinks she was ever the ~ultimate love of his life~, attraction and love were present.)

• His stash of and enjoyment of porn that includes women, which is referenced many times.

• The moments where he was seduced by a female-presenting monster.

• Each and every time he made a reference to or joke about his attraction to women.

• Any fling he ever had with a woman on screen, and the enjoyment he had in the process.

The man is canonically sexually and romantically attracted to women, and he has acted upon that and even enjoys that about himself in wildly diverse contexts. It is a blatant part of the text of the show. (The fact that we are at the point where this is somehow a main point of contention rather than his attraction to men does make me feel a tiny bit insane, to be honest.)

Now, in my experience (which I don’t claim is comprehensive!), the people who argue for Gay Dean tend to explain ALL of this away under some form of universal umbrella of Dean being “performative,” a variation on compulsive heterosexuality they ascribe to him. The claim or explanation tends to be that Dean was performing a mostly-faked attraction to women based on his father’s expectations and outward pressures he received in the culture of his life. Moments are often cherry-picked out of context to support this “reading.”

Who is Dean supposedly performing FOR, even in the moments where he acts on his attraction to women when he is alone? How does this explain his significant relationships with women like Cassie and/or the legitimate visible enjoyments he received from those interactions, as well as his flings with women throughout the show? How does this explain things like the Last Call script, where Dean is very clearly written as attracted to “gorgeous women,” a factoid that is not only very clear on screen but also (of course) written in literal black and white?

(There are no sufficient answers to these rhetorical questions. Once again: please do not waste time trying to give me any.)

And what evidence are Gay Dean people using for comphet or performative Dean? The “evidence” is often a misread of canon, pointing towards the consistent theme and false goal presented in the text of the show of characters’ efforts to strive for an “apple pie life,” aka a heteronormative ideal family. Gay Dean people misrepresent what this theme and through-line in the show is actually about, which is the totality of learning to accept your life rather than striving for something ill-fitting, that what you need and want need not be mutually exclusive (family life including fulfilling romance + hunting life can coexist), family is what you make of it and how you define it, and there are no true limitations on what all of this “should” be. While these themes are inherently queer, they are not about narrow performances of masculinity, femininity, or sexual identity, but about making space for ALL forms of all of the above–AND about identifying what it is that one wants and thinks they can’t have.

Namely, for Dean, that’s a version of settling down in a life that fulfills him in every direction, with an open and honest mutual relationship with the person he is in love with. This latter point would be true whether Cas was a man or a woman (though the fact that he is a man of course adds further dimension of interest to the story). Dean doesn’t think he can have a romantic relationship / family that lasts, and by later seasons that yearning is a key part of his character. The times it didn’t work out for him weren’t because those other people were women, but rather because the “lesson” he internalized from traumatic instances of loss is that hunters don’t get to do ~the love thing~ or get the settled down life. This is stated in the text of the show multiple times, and that’s also why Dean seeing examples of hunters who made any kind of balanced life work (especially masculine queer hunters like Jesse and Cesar) is pointed and purposeful. To say it’s about comphet instead (with no sufficient canon evidence that supports that) disregards a key point that’s central to Supernatural’s story, and in my opinion it disregards it to its detriment.

For Dean’s journey in particular, it is about freedom from limitations of structure, and knowing that he contains multitudes. The things he got from John–loving classic rock and loving his car, for example–are no less core joyful parts of Dean simply because they originated from his father. Dean can love classic rock and still occasionally love a Taylor Swift song, for example. He can love cowboy movies and manly movies, and also enjoy chick-flicks. It’s the idea of learning that there are no limitations, not that masculine interests are not inherently something he loves for himself or that aren’t important parts of his identity. It’s an expansion to openly include more, not a switch or a narrowing. The same applies to his sexual attraction and his queer identity. He can be attracted to cowboys and bikers, and also be attracted to gorgeous women. Him being attracted to / loving women does not mean he cannot and does not feel attraction and love for men; likewise, him being in love with a man does not mean he wasn’t and isn’t attracted to women.

(“Last Call,” as an episode, exists in part to drive the totality of these points home, and emphasize that Dean’s attraction to men is something he’s known about himself for most of his life and acted on previously. So is most of the queercoding and queer subtext applied to Dean–which is specifically coding him as bisexual. His attraction to men is sometimes established or made clear because it echoes his attraction to women, etc. etc. Dean’s canonical attraction to men is a whole other post.)

So here we come to why saying otherwise and trying to shoehorn a comphet narrative onto Dean in canon is harmful:

Aside from the fact that to claim Dean’s joyful attraction to women is performative is to cut out chunks of the story and is thus not supported by canon, and it relies on making assumptions about and projecting onto the text… unintentionally or not, the implication is that bisexuality is not queer enough, or that being gay is somehow “queerer” and thus more compelling and a preferred concept, and that attraction to different genders is a heterosexual / straight trait requiring removal. No one is queering a text in a more revolutionary way or unlocking a ~secret good Supernatural~ by making a bisexual man into a gay man. That’s simply not how this works.

“Preferring” an argument for Gay Dean in canon requires explaining away or misreading all of those moments Dean has with women, essentially replacing them with trauma or suffering or discomfort that–in my observations–also sometimes rely on stereotypes of gay men. It also involves potentially preferring to twist them into behaviors Dean must have universally put himself through not out of genuine joyful desire but at minimum because he felt like he “should” or at maximum in an attempt to “fix” his “gayness,” even when no one was watching. And it points to the pressures Dean experienced about living a life that fit him fully–pressures that exist not just in his world, but also in our patriarchal world and society–and it implies that queer people can’t authentically experience attraction or love to someone of a different gender, because maybe they’re actually just “performing” the heteronormative ideal. As in: a “visually queer” relationship is the end goal, right? For Dean, that’s an m/m relationship... so surely m/f matters less, or maybe it can’t be a genuine and significant part of a queer person’s life.

Once again: I do not think any of this is intentional on the part of Gay Dean truthers, nor do I think it’s done with malice. Nonetheless, these harmful biphobic viewpoints permeate these conversations and misconceptions when people say these arguments are valid.

There is no canonical basis for explaining away all of Dean’s moments with women, and the story does not provide or point to any kind of cohesive narrative reason to do so. YES, people absolutely experience comphet in real life, and those experiences are valid and exist. YES, real gay men can and do sleep with or have nuanced romantic relationships with women before realizing they’re gay later in life. No, that does not mean that’s how analysis of a fictional character in a fictional story always works, especially in regards to a story built over time like Supernatural’s unique approach and the way it was molded to place queerness and specifically bisexuality at the core of Dean’s story.

Ascribing comphet to Dean in canon–or making any other insufficient justification for explaining away his attraction to women–is personal projection. And yes, it is bisexual erasure.

This is not a position fueled by personal hurt for me, as I would say the same here whether or not I was personally bisexual. It is an acknowledgement that these conversations don’t exist in a vacuum, and that’s something everyone should care to understand. I know what comphet storylines look like in fiction, and I know they are worth defining as such, and in other fandoms I even defend that very loudly. This is not the case here, and to say it is requires mental acrobatics that are objectively unsupported by canon... and invariably insisting otherwise perpetuates one of these harmful biphobic viewpoints whether or not one realizes it.

To say Gay Dean is a legitimate read of canon–which it is not–supports people who are erasing his varied sexual and romantic attraction to a different gender simply because they’ve decided they want to ignore that. “I like the idea of Dean being gay” does not mean that he is gay in canon, and writing meta to that end is a problem. It’s not an invalidation of someone on a personal level or some weird variation of homophobia to say that, and I do think people should maybe examine why they seemingly like the idea of him being gay more than him being bi, or why they staunchly defend it (or any other “different queer reading”) as a possibility.

I understand there may be the urge to be like “is it that serious” or “this is just a CW show,” but to that I would say… then why are we all here?

Clearly, most people do still care about queer representation on some level and understand that queer subtext is present and acknowledge that Dean isn’t straight... hence the origin of this new prevalent concept of “as long as you say Dean’s queer then it’s fine.”

But in any piece of media, the text is the text is the text. The text can also be compelling, and fascinating, and contain value whether or not it’s an exact reflection of you personally as a fan and as a person. Sometimes there is arguably even greater value in being able to find reasons to relate to the humanity of a character or in a story even though elements differ from who you are personally. It is an exercise in empathy, and it is a pillar of why humans tells stories to each other to expand our viewpoints, and it sometimes results in examining the sources of that empathy. It’s why “representation matters”: not just so we can see ourselves, but so we can see others, and find reason to empathize despite differences. There’s unquantifiable power in that, and it’s also why the diversity of queer experiences and identities should be championed and acknowledged both in fiction and in reality, not turned into a monolith. Our solidarity amongst our individual queer differences and identities is our truest version of strength and authenticity. We are not all exactly the same, and that’s a good thing. When care is taken to specifically convey that in fiction, it is worth not only acknowledgement but also defense.

So: do we or do we not care about why representation is important, and why these sorts of conversations should exist at all? About censorship of queer storylines, and diversity in the queer community, and solidarity in differences? About bisexual men, a vastly underrepresented group in fiction, and the specific censorship that affected Dean’s bi story accordingly? And about how these viewpoints people can place onto fiction through fandom-wide conversation–like implying Dean is ~queerer~ if you say he’s gay, or that you’re somehow sticking it to the CW and “straight culture” if you suggest he’s gay–can influence biphobia that translates into ways people see bi people in real life?

In other situations even in this fandom, people understand the value of diverse queer experiences. No one would dare to say that “you can argue Charlie is bisexual in canon because as long as you say she’s queer it’s fine.” Charlie is a lesbian. It’s very, very clear, and she shows and states that she is only attracted to women. Dean’s attraction to women in canon is equally clear, and is part of his bisexuality. Why is erasing that defendable?

Look: it is people’s God-given right to write whatever fic they want about “what if” variations of Dean’s sexuality through a different lens. It is not their God-given right to make things up about canon and call it analysis.

It is a universal truth that fandom is always going to take canon and mold it into other versions that they love, for their own personal reasons and in ways that have value to them. That’s why transformative works like fic exist, and it’s why fandom is awesome, and I’m glad people use aspects of their favorite stories to tell other inspired stories that are of personal significance to them. But the word transformative is used for a reason: it’s an alteration of canon. It’s not a bad thing or a personal attack on people to say that.

There is a difference between understanding canon and writing actual meta / analysis of the show, and writing AUs for ones own enjoyment and fulfillment. (This is true on AO3 or on Tumblr/Twitter. I often see posts that are positioned as “meta,” but again, are just cherry-picked weirdness.) These differences are important, as is understanding how headcanons and fic affect surrounding conversations and fandom perceptions. And this fandom seems to have a very big problem with understanding the difference between these things, while taking it extremely personally in a negative way when people try to explain why the difference matters.

Confusing analysis and transformative fandom does a disservice to both, and denying the value in the former is not only a form of anti-intellectualism but also removes some of the beauty in the latter. If we can’t distinguish and differentiate between canon and headcanon, we can’t discuss the value in understanding the canon, nor adequately discuss the artistic value and power in creating derivative variations from it in personal ways. Both are different, both are equal, both are vital, and insisting the distinction is needless hampers conversation across every space. And nowhere is that more true than when one is discussing queer representation and queer censorship, like in the case of Supernatural. Again, why are we here? Why do we care? You cannot argue for and discuss the problems of censorship sufficiently if you don’t understand what was censored–and in Dean’s case, that was his love for Cas and his bisexuality.

I leave you with this (probably unneeded) analogy:

Imagine Dean’s a zebra.

(Sorry, EDS community; not that kind of zebra.)

People are trying to say “Dean is a black and white hoofed mammal <3″ and well, that’s accurate, but that doesn’t mean him being a zebra isn’t its own unique thing. A whole bunch of people are looking at him though and saying “well I prefer to say that Dean’s a black and white horse,” because they like that viewpoint better. Close enough, right? A black and white horse is basically a zebra, right? And then there’s the people who are like “I think Dean’s a cow!” and it’s like, okay, no idea where you came from, but whatever.

The point is that those are all entirely different fucking things. They’re different animals. Someone wanting Dean to be a black and white horse doesn’t make him less of a zebra. Pretending otherwise is absolute nonsense.

This debate/discussion/discourse is equally nonsensical. That is the logic (or illogic) that applies here.

Just because Dean is “queer” doesn’t mean any queer categorization underneath that umbrella suddenly equally applies.

Dean is bisexual. And he is “queer” because he’s bisexual.

Those are the facts.

And for the love of God, please... I really don’t think I’m an asshole for saying it.

So, to whoever made it this far: please do me the courtesy of not hating me for it or trying to bait me into a fight.

I’m tired. Thanks.

----

EDIT: Couple of good additions!

• @doctorprofessorsong added some good details about how some of these harmful biphobic concepts translate to real life, and real things that bi people struggle with.

• A lesbian anonymously sent in her perspective as someone who enjoys gay Dean headcanons/fic and agrees with this post, and agrees that the fact that Dean is bi in canon is important.

#dean winchester #supernatural #dean is bi #bisexual dean winchester #HAHA I TOLD MYSELF I WASN'T GOING TO PUT THIS IN THE OFFICIAL TAGS BUT THEN I SPENT HOURS WRITING IT SO FUCK IT #[slaps target on my back and cries] haha here we go #I'm not linking it on twitter though. I don't have that level of masochism in me. maybe this will fly under the radar on here a bit?#spn meta #I take a marijuana level of high road on twitter constantly but fun fact I'm not immune to knowing people hate me for daring to say this #doesn't change the facts though! and unfortunately I do actually give a fuck! even if few others do #maybe this is so long no one will read it #char writes things #also I did absolutely plagiarize myself in parts of this. what about it. ok I'm done goodbye.... screams #PS people CAN reblog this btw. I am being a little baby wincing at potential backlash preemptively but like #I wouldn't have posted it and left reblogs on if I didn't know and accept the risks <3 I will speak the truth idc idc someone's gotta do it #EDIT: I stopped being a coward and posted it on twitter :) because fuck it! I stand by my words etc etc it's all fine #me vs adding to the tags as if anyone's reading them lmfao

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lesbiancolumbo · 2 years ago

Note

hey i am getting into try to watch classic movies (as in i just saw the shinning for the first time or godfather) and what are some good resources to check out for good recommendations, cause honestly I am finding it hard to know where I should start- thank in advance for posting about old movies they have all been added to my ever growing list!

omg hello!!!! hello! this is the ask i needed tonight.

in terms of resources... if you don't have a subscription to criterion channel already, do yourself a favor and get one. they are almost always highlighting an old hollywood actor or actress (this month is joan bennett and they're showing a really hard to find pre-code she's in called me and my gal. just an example.) and they have a wide variety of well-curated stuff to check out. same with kanopy if you have a library that partners with it. but honestly, if you are in the US or canada and have cable or know someone you can bum cable information off of, turner classic movies has been (at least for me) the greatest resource.

and i could easily point you to a list of the best classic movie recs (AFI has a list of 100 films, sight & sound just did their big poll - for example), but here's the thing. like on the level..... i spent so many years in college watching movies because i was told i was supposed to like them, or that they were IMPORTANT and THE CANON and i got almost nothing out of this experience. when i left college, i spent a week moping in unemployment on my parents' couch dogsitting and watching literally anything that came up on tcm. i watched the bride of frankenstein, i watched an irene dunne romance, i watched spencer tracy and katharine hepburn fall in love. fred and ginger dancing. john wayne walking into the wasteland of a desert that doesn't want him. etc. i watched as many different kinds of things as i could, and i went, so these films worked for me. these actors mean something to me and these don't. and i kept going my own way.

i know that feels like a non-answer, but i think it's very easy to get caught up in the like ~canon of it all~ and it's more fun to just start watching shit and discover things you may have never discovered. i told myself this year that i wanted to watch more silent cinema and i proceeded to just.... type "best silent actresses" into ye olde google and add a bunch of movies to a watchlist lmao. so i'm gonna give you a few lists now lmao but with the caveat that instead you should just ask yourself what sorts of things you like, what films interest you, what films you like, and kinda go from there. who influenced your favorite filmmaker? what old films do they like? etc.

some lists:

i made a post two years ago giving recs on 30s films that i still stand by lmao

last year i made my official "personal canon" list which details my 200 favorite films from the birth of cinema to now

a critic i love, willow maclay, made her personal canon list last year and she's one of my favorites on cinema period, old and new

every year a critic i also love, justine smith, does a twitter thread of her updated canon. this is from 2022. i love watching her list change every year.

my amazing friend marya gates essentially answered your question in way fewer words that i did with her list here

i hope this was helpful, sorry for the length of this, and happy watching! i am happy to help nudge you in any further directions if you want more tailored recs based on what you've seen/want to see/are interested in. feel free to send an ask or dm me any time.

#asks #movie posts

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balillee · 4 years ago

Text

tommy's character gets far too much shit.

hi tumblr. i'm gonna need a few bitches to spread this post everywhere, essentially because i want someone, or just tommy really, to see it. so if you really want, you can screenshot it and post it on twitter, reddit, link it everywhere - go absolutely buck wild. i know he reads the VODS comments a lot, but they're chock full of people just insulting him, his character, his writing and everything about his story in the dream smp simply because they don't understand it and because they refuse to acknowledge his character's perspective (mainly because they only care about the pig). reading that many critical comments on something you've created can only make you feel worse about it eventually, and in light of all the awful techno apologist takes on his character, i wanted to basically just word vomit about how wonderfully crafted c!tommy is, as well as compile some other tumblr posts about his character.

there is a massive fuckin community of people who enjoy the character of tommy, because the character is incredible. i myself have made post after post after post commenting on and analysing tommy's character because i find that there's so much to pick apart. but that enthusiasm for his character only seems to be found on tumblr. reddit and twitter seem to hate his character, the VODS seem to be filled with comments from people who only care about techno's perspective (and treat techno as a reliable narrator, which, is the furthest thing from the truth - that guy lies through his teeth all the time), and the smp wiki is a hellscape of godawful takes and mistruths, not even on just tommy's character.

c!tommy is brilliantly acted and brilliantly written, and almost everything he does is either justifiable or has been rectified or admitted as a mistake. you can clearly make connections as to where he got his conclusions from. you feel what his character experiences, as a member of the audience, vividly.

if you look in the more objective sense, c!tommy, and this is especially in the context of him being the youngest character, is a scapegoat. people claim he's awful and destructive when in reality he's a lot less destructive than most characters on the server. a moment that comes to mind is where he diverts schlatt and quackity's attention from pogtopia by breaking part of the flag in manberg, and then replacing it so as to buy tubbo some time - he literally monologues after it about how he doesn't want to destroy but instead rebuild, and how he feels as if nobody else seems to understand that.

his arc in season two was incredible. it was very character driven, and it gave a spotlight to his motivations. at the start we see him in new l'manberg, and he's enjoying his time there, he's skeptical of his friend's presidency, but his main goal is to get back the discs so that he can stop dream and eliminate that threat. he made one screw up that didn't even matter to george, and he paid for it tenfold, even after dream had spent a while with puffy griefing the server and framing it on tommy - what tommy and ranboo did was convinient. then, in exile, we see c!tommy straight up get abused. he's gaslit and conditioned into being c!dream's friend, and in his brain he teaches himself that those acts of abuse are moments of bonding, and it eventually brings him to the point of wanting to end his own life - he's been torn away from his friends and his support system, and nobody will visit him consistently anymore because they only showed him pity, and all he had left was dream, who had hurt him.

but he doesn't die there, because while he didn't understand the full gravity of it back then like he does now, he recognises that dying isn't an escape, and he can beat dream, even if he doesn't know how. so this is where he goes to techno's place, and here's where the fandom starts to misinterpret the situation wildly.

it's the problem similar to when your parents tell you that they're owed something back because you put a roof over their head, despite that being Not How It Works. techno took tommy in and severely mistreated him emotionally. sure, and i understand this, c!techno is a bad communicator who isn't really that empathetic to anyone who isn't phil or wilbur, but that doesn't excuse the blatant lying to c!tommy's face, the guilt tripping, the friendship buying and the degrading. the day before the festival, tommy finally does something violent in his interrogation of fundy, and only then does techno tell him,,,,

that tommy's not equal to him, that techno doesn't respect him all that much, and that they're not friends.

from techno's perspective, and at the time, this was viewed as a positive development in their relationship. oh, he's starting to warm up to tommy! this friendship could really blossom!

no. from a more objective standpoint, what techno has just said to tommy is : 'i respect you only a little bit more now, because while you're starting to act more like me, you're still annoying and a burden.'

and i haven't even touched on the whole 'erasing the words 'Destroy L'manberg' from techno's to-do list' thing, because that instantly refutes the point of 'techno was upfront with his intentions the whole time' - because he wasn't! he may have said it the first time, but you also know what else he did? he repeatedly told tommy that they'd 'air the details out later' whenever the discs were brought up, and from a tommy viewer's perspective at the time, it was framed as if techno was no longer going to do that.

and i also haven't dared touch the 'i would have fought them all for you', because that's major guilt tripping if ever i've seen it.

so, the day of the festival comes, and here's where c!techno and his apologists completely misread c!tommy's thought process, and why he makes the decision he does.

tommy instantly regrets valuing the discs over tubbo, and it's framed as the culmination of tommy having become all the people he said he would never want to be like. and what does he immediately do? he tells tubbo to give up the disc, and he sides with tubbo. he puts his value in his friends, and, by proxy, l'manberg. and when he betrays techno, he tells him 'i'm sorry'.

from a more objective standpoint, tommy's time with techno is him valuing the discs over almost anything else. so, in leaving techno to be with tubbo again, he is valuing people above the discs. so when, on doomsday, techno says his 'discs aren't people' line, what he doesn't realise is that he himself fueled tommy's valuing of discs above people when attempting to fuel tommy's vengeance against tubbo and l'manberg. techno doesn't realise that he was an unhealthy presence for tommy, and an even worse influence.

what techno also doesn't seem to understand is that tommy never hated tubbo or l'manberg - tommy recognises, now at least, that his exile wasn't a product of tubbo, but a product of dream's manipulation, likely in part because at the time, especially with dream lying about tommy blowing up the community house, tommy was the only one who could see it because he had experienced it firsthand. so when techno sides with dream, it's like kicking tommy in the teeth.

and i want to mention that betraying someone doesn't necessarily make the person who was betrayed good, or in the right, or even justified, because tommy was entirely justified to leave techno. you know who else was betrayed? schlatt. but i don't see many schlatt apologists around angry at quackity for joining the rebellion.

tommy stole the axe of peace? good. it was a moment of tommy defining his self-worth, instead of having it defined by others. gone is the age of c!techno belittling him and deciding how much c!tommy should be respected. NEXT!

here's a moment i wanted to talk about that will forever be funny to me.

'i am a person.'

techno's very famous line from doomsday. techno says to tommy that discs aren't people, and that tommy should value people, despite not understanding that by leaving techno, he did just that. and what does tommy say in return, which has been omitted from every c!tommy-critical analysis, and every animatic?

'yes you are, but so are we.'

an acknowledgement of techno's hurt, to which tommy has already apologised for. a statement that says 'your hurt does not excuse, nor justify, the hurt you have inflicted onto us.' an acknowledgement that tommy has already learnt the lesson techno seems to be trying to 'teach' him. but you can't teach him anything by destroying.

c!tommy has had almost everything he has ever owned or built either taken from him or destroyed. ranboo even points out that the only two things of tommy's left standing are his house and his hotel, and if i'm honest, his house is dissheveled. it's a labyrinth of terror due only to how many times it's been torn apart. l'manberg being blown up didn't teach anyone anything about anarchy, or about valuing people over possessions. logstedshire being blown up didn't teach tommy to be obedient.

i could honestly ramble for ages about how nuanced tommy's character is and how much depth and complexity there is to his character's process and his relationship with others, but more than that, c!tommy is forgiving. he invites almost everyone who hates him to the grand opening of his hotel - if that isn't an indicator that he just wants friends, and not to be treated like the embodiment of evil, then i don't know what is. he holds grudges, but he doesn't really actively hate anyone, other than c!dream. but, we'll let him. c!dream deserves nothing but to be pummeled into the floor.

tommy doesn't spoonfeed his character nuance, and he doesn't really spell it out for his audience. he'll mention things like trauma and triggers in passing, but a lot of analysis on his motivations has to be picked up from what is said in passing or from what can be seen in between the lines.

i'd be here for hours if i were to talk about everything i love about c!tommy, because honestly he's one of my favourite characters, and there are so many angles you can look at his character from in terms of his age, his relationships with others, his motivations, his personality, his character arcs etc etc. so instead of doing that, i'm going to compile some much more specific analysis posts below to skim through because they highlight so many good aspects of his character.

^^ A thread about the 'yes you are, but so are we' line.

^^ About how shit the VODS comments are.

^^ A comment on how c!Tommy is actually pretty peaceful, and is actually less destructive than most characters on the server.

^^ Possibly the best c!Tommy analysis thread I've ever seen in relation to his trauma, which gives multiple perspectives.

^^ About how c!Tommy is treated as a scapegoat, and how, from an objective standpoint, he is no more violent than any other character, it's just that the little violence that is committed is blown far out of proportion.

^^ Tumblr user flypaw being a bad bitch, as per usual.

^^ c!Tommy being incredibly intelligent, and talking about wanting to rebuild and not destroy. A very underrated monologue of his.

^^ Something short about c!Tommy and c!Wilbur's relationship in Pogtopia.

^^ Less about c!Tommy, more a meta on L'Manberg. Really interesting to think about.

^^ A take on Doomsday.

I'll add some more posts in a reblog in the notes, but if anyone's post(s) is on this and they want me to take it off, let me know and I'll do that for you! Feel free to add your own banger c!Tommy takes or ones that you've found.

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