#alphabet lore owen

[askthealphabet]

One last thing, Owen... you are more connected to Hell than you think... Just ask your mother. *Punches Owen in the eye and leaves*

"That wasn't ominous at all."

[minecraftrelatedrandomness]

pirates smp morality tier list based vaguely on canon and partially on vibes, 2024/04/23

as per usual, this is about the cubitos and not the real-life people

[link to tier list, 6 late additions were manually added]

Characters in each tier are listed based on alphabetical order of preferred names

Level 1: No one is on Level 1 / purely white morality because that's kind of hard to achieve at all, and especially not on the high seas.

Level 2:

Cleo: Doesn't partake in enough lore to do anything bad, one of the few consistent characters who actually didn't kill anyone.

Graecie: Trying so hard to hold it all together, may have had her fair share of interpersonal conflicts but generally plays a voice of reason.

Jojo: Probably one of the most emotionally stable people on the Isles, and tries to sympathize with others for the most part. Can't blame her for making incorrect inferences based on limited information.

Will: Had the potential of dropping lower according to data from the writer's room, but in canon? Not really, actions were all perfectly understandable and reasonable in accordance with present knowledge, just… the idealistic approach did NOT work out. (Nor would the cynical approach, according to the writer's room; my guy's just doomed by the narrative either way.)

Level 3:

Eloise: Mostly just living her life; points deducted for the occasional bounty.

Michela: Releasing the Corruption did seem like a bad idea… at the time. In hindsight, it was the right decision to make, but in the moment… IDK, this one is just vibes.

Ros: Generally just a nice and sweet person; points deducted for the Sabertooth ordeal, but in her defense, there was blackmail and threats involved. Points also deducted for verbally endorsing Sausage's more questionable ideas and suggestions. Based on vibes.

Scott: Didn't exactly do anything wrong; points deducted for occasional pettiness. Again, a vibes judgement.

Water: Again, just living her life and being mostly nice; points deducted for occasional mishaps like being Eloise's bounty accomplice.

Level 4:

Acho: Mainly just here for being way too Byronic for stars own good. And also the self-destructiveness and sunk cost fallacy ordeal towards the end. But mostly vibes.

Aimsey: Points deducted for the pride/thinking oneself invincible (to be quickly proven wrong) and dishonesty, but let's be real: they're mostly nice, and that's pretty good by our standards.

Kyle: I've either heard through the grapevine or vaguely recall that his character arc was going to go in a much darker direction, but didn't have time to play it out, so this is my compromise. Also, it would be funny to put him in the same level as p!Acho.

Seapeekay: Live fast, die young, but essentially did nothing particularly bad.

Level 5:

Apo: Essentially written to be True Neutral to be dragged in opposing directions, and out of respect for canon, he's smack in the middle of the scale.

Bek: Has jerkish moments but is willing to do the right thing. It's mostly just the mercenary business and all that.

Eret: Mostly keeps to themself and just cares about themself. The worst thing they actually did in canon was the bounty. Big True *Chaotic Neutral vibes.

Guqqie: The classism is what puts her as far down as here. Otherwise, she's capable of being nice, she's just… not usually nice, you know?

Oli: On the self-serving side and just wants to go home to his family and make big bucks and all. Points deducted for capitalism.

Owen: Big carpe diem energy and only really cares for himself, might need therapy to unpack all that but that would be anachronistic.

Sausage: Again, it's the joke-classism and the trolling. Capable of being nice and does care about people around him, but still has a jerkish streak. Technically dips down to Level 8 for a bit towards the end, but in his defense, he was possessed at the time and fighting it.

Level 6:

Kuervo: Only ranked this far down for the mass murder. The fact it was tyrannicide is pretty much the only thing that keeps him from dropping to a lower level. Otherwise, probably a 4, but by that point, he wouldn't be here at all.

Scar: May have questionably left his old crew to die to save himself. Whether he actually killed them himself is never confirmed. Scamming leaves him in this tier. Didn't stick around for long enough to confirm or deny this level.

Tubbo: Here for the casual non-canonical murders and theft and vandalism and all that. Didn't stick around for long enough for further judgement, but from the ~2 weeks he was here, this is what leaves him at.

Level 7:

Shep: This man's moral compass is not pointing north!! Let's check off the canonical murder and voluntary manslaughter first! But then he's also capable of being nice to some people and he doesn't exactly take pleasure in hurting others or go out of his way to do so, so… compared to, say, his mentor, he's already somewhat decent.

Level 8:

Martyn: Being from the Datastream means he's playing 4-D chess with the world but I am not excusing his tomfoolery, especially since he is having a hard time comprehending that HIS ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES on the world! The whole Blondbeard arc. Just… that. And also how he acts towards p!Ros in canon is just plain mean… laughing about wanting to see her cry as her castle gets burnt and bombed to its foundations is… ARGH. THIS MAN. HE IS SO CLOSE TO CROSSING THE LINE.

Levels 9 and 10: Special spot reserved for Iris and co. for crossing the Line.

Everyone else: Didn't stick around for long enough, but I can vaguely clear a few off or speculate:

Olive: Definitely below a 5; probably 2–3 based on their one (1) stream.

Shelby: Maybe Level 5 for being kind of a rude snob, but didn't stick around to complete her Alexis Rose arc, so I'd say there is potential for her to be Level 4 (or lower), but we don't know with what our information is.

[berryrot11]

Update #2 on the Berry rot/Night 3 part 3:

*In the Hospital unit at camp….*

*Leo wakes up*

Leo: Ow…..wait. Where am I? Where’s Owen? How am I…..alive?

*two people enter the room*

Charlie: Ah, good, you’re awake. You’re lucky that thing only grazed and scratched your face. Anyway, how are you? Hm?

*Leo feels the left side of his face and touching a bandage on it. Underneath, his skin feels raw and painful*

Leo: I’m…..fine I guess, just a little dizzy and groggy from being unconscious. Anyway, I have my own question.

Rhianna: Go on… *taking notes*

Leo: Where are Owen and Linds?

(Author’s Note: In case you don’t know who Linds/Lindsay-Lou is, she’s my Welsh Alphabet Lore L and she’s Leo’s younger sister)

*Rhianna gets a worried look on her face, then takes a deep breath*

Rhianna: As I was taking you out of the building in the elevator, I heard what I would put politely, literal h*ll going on your floor and then…It went quiet as the lift reached the ground floor. As for your sister, she’s……in the quarantine unit. We’re keeping her there because we have no idea if she’s infected or not. In fact, we’re just about to test her for signs of the infection right now.

*Leo sits upright in bed*

Leo: Really….? I need to see her! She’s one of the few people who don’t hate me!

Charlie: You’re still recovering, so you better rest for now. Now if you’ll excuse us, we must go.

*Charlie and her sibling exit the room and Leo sits staring at the door as a look of worry is painted on his face*

Leo: So that’s why she’s not picking up the phone when I call her….she’s in quarantine!

*He notices a note on a table along with some files then walks over and examines them*

(That’s pretty much the end of night 3)

[unironicduncanstan]

hhh i got a huGE jackson lore dump below;;;

official age is 16 (i think most of the contestants are but yknow)

the setting i imagine him the most in is total drama island/season 1!

he has a single mom, shes a young hippie who had him when she was 17 (33 now). shes very supportive and loving

this sometimes backfires bc despite being a young mom shes just old enough that when she tries to be cool its more embarrassing than relatable. ie. jackson spill me the tea. the lgbtea. the mood. the worm. please, open up to me, fam. talking to your mom about your feelings is Lit. jackson you’re really snatching my wig

he figured out he was trans and started transitioning at around age 12, and his mom let him switch schools to find one that lets him identify how he wants and also as a fresh start

in the beginning hes not out to anybody but his mom and maybe 1 or 2 of his closest friends, by the end of the td season he feels comfortable not only with the rest of the campers knowing but being broadcast to the whole world as trans. im a dramatic gay who lov es lgbt self acceptance ar cs what can i sa y,

he owns a pair of brendon uries “ARE YOU NASTY?” shorts bc,,, ms Jackson,,,,

mom bought him these as soon as he chose his new name, of course

as i mentioned in the first post his personality is like mostly chill but with a competitive side described as [charlie day screeching sounds]

this is because he has adhd and he likes competition bc it lets him have a focus but the hyperactivity comes out majorlY

his habit of getting himself and others fired up is viewed as both a blessing and a curse by his teammates bc like yeah man win us a challenge but also [covers ears]

would be the guy that suggests they put on war paint to ‘get into the mood’ if theyre losing

he’s always the first to start cheering his team on

he has a huge phobia of water/drowning, to which noah is dismayed with because. “you’re on an island. surrounded by water. On a gameshow. With Chris Mcclean. What. Do you think. is going. To happen”  

he of course has to swim in a challenge and sinks like a rock

duncan grabs an oar and starts tryna get him to grab it while dj and owen are just yelling in fear that hes probably already dead. bridgette is the only one that thinks to jump in to grab him while the guys keep dicking around lmao

later when ppl do find out hes trans, the first person in the guy group to comfort him is geoff who goes “dont worry bro, its no big deal, i mean noahs gay-” and the camera zooms in on noahs face as he pretends to be shocked

duncans attempt at comfort is stating that nobody has the time to care about gender when theres a shit ton of money at stake. and that if anybody does care pummel them

owen is of course a ray of sunshine who always tries his best for his friends so his reaction is to just build him up with reasons why hes just like a ‘’’normal guy’’’ in his eyes. ie ‘well you wear boxers, you know how to fish, you can burp at least half the alphabet, that sounds like a guy to me’

dj is the most personally supportive one, they bond a lot over being i guess what you could call non conventional men? since dj embraces his lack of what most people consider to be masculinity

at first noahs like don t look at me like im your lgbt mentor just bc im gay but he absolutely becomes. the lgbt friend that jackson goes to for advice and kinship

when courtney and him become friends shes very adamant about reminding him to stretch/breathe in the binder and not fall asleep wearing it (bc he abs olutel y would and has)

him and bridge of course become allies after she saves his ass and gwen and cody just kinda work into his circle through other friends

assuming he doesnt win a season bc like. i gotta nerf him eventually right, his reaction is more calm than he expected considering how intense he gets about winning, it feels like a weight off his shoulders

he has absolutely no fear about going home and facing his peers now that hes out bc of the relationships hes formed on the island and what theyve taught him and im cryign in the club just thinking about it thansk fpr coming eveyrone,

[cameronlsummers]

1. From the Files of Spook House – #055:  The Elevator Game

Hand to God, I really wish he hadn't done it, but Manny knew someone who worked in the hotel.  I wish we hadn't decided to rent a room there or use that fucking glass elevator.  I mean, we only knew about the Game because of that youtube video of that poor girl about what happened at the Cecil Hotel in L.A.  We should have known.

We'd all been through our fair share of weird shit.  I figured that we would be fine.

Let me back up.

We were – are – the Spook House Group.  Or, when Ronnie and our Fearless Leader are fighting and she moves out for a week or two, Tom insists on calling us the “Spook House Boys.”  I don't say anything about it.  It feels needlessly exclusionary.  I mean, just because Tom fucking Knight is having blue balls, all non-male candidates are excluded?

It's the 21st century.  Get over it.

But we are the Spook House Group.  And this was the Elevator Game Test.

The Hotel at 43rd and Broadway was the site.  It's built around a huge central atrium that puts vaporwave music in mind.  A lot of big leafy plants and some fountains, and down on the bottom there are tables and a carpeted area that look like the world's most upscale food court, tiles done in dark rich browns and deep red accents.  There's a tiered fountain in the middle that looked like it was made in imitation of Spanish Mission architecture.  Its spacial vocabulary was a postmodern imitation of the Country Club Plaza – world's best high-rent strip mall, – which was a corporate bastardization of Seville, itself an imitation of Roman architecture done with the Arabic and Gothic alphabets on baroque stationary.

Copy of a copy of a copy.  The mannequin in Jean Baudrillard's grave was spinning.

In the middle of this atrium is a bank of three glass elevators. You need an elevator with at least ten stories for the Elevator Game. That's the first requirement.

The second is a Participant or Player.  I insisted on the term “Operator” for our internal terminology, because whoever yells the loudest about such things tends to get their way and I preferred it's sound.  So the second requirement was the Operator, me:  Jules Ng Miller.

No non-player was allowed on the elevator, so we were doing it at 4 AM, an hour after the last bar in Westport closed and all the out-of-town visitors had holed up in their rooms.

To play the game you start at the first floor and ride the elevator to the following floors in the following order without exiting it until the end.

Fourth.  Second.  Sixth.  Second.  Tenth.  Fifth.

At the fifth floor (according to “the lore,” by which I mean “the internet,” and more specifically, I mean “the Korean-language page we got this information from and plugged into Google Translate”) a “beautiful young woman” will get on the elevator.  You're not supposed to look at her or speak to her, or else she might “keep you forever.”

I know.  I cringed, too.

At this point, you press “1” and one of two things happen.  If the elevator descends, you get off at the first floor and walk away. If, instead, it ascends, you get out and walk around: at this point, you're supposedly in another world.  To get back, you return to the exact same elevator and punch in the order in reverse.  You've got to leave so that the woman isn't there when you return.

I'm the subject.  The Operator. With me here are Tom Knight (Fearless Leader; Camera 1, 5th floor,) Veronica “Ronnie” Wagner (Second-in-Command; Camera 2, 1st and 2nd floor,) Manuel “Manny” Rojas (Off-duty paramedic; Camera 3, 4th and 6th Floor,) and Franklin “Frankie” Fallon (resident skeptic; Camera 4, 10th floor.)  Veronica and Manny move between the different floors as I move up and down using the stairs.  The idea is that someone can see me every time I stop and I give a sign that everything is okay.  We record it so that there's a record of the whole thing.

It's just some dumb internet shit, but it's tied up with that whole thing that happened in L.A. a couple years back.  I'm kind of haunted by it, but I don't really show it to the others.  Tom would make fun of me, and the other two would feel awkward.  That girl could have been my cousin.  Maybe not a sister.  I never knew my family, so I guess I've just got this phantom limb thing when it comes to people who vaguely resemble me.

She was supposedly doing this thing before she disappeared, only to be found a month later in the water tower on top of the Cecil Hotel.

I began to wonder if this was a race thing as we were about to start.

I mean, we had drawn straws, but they had just conveniently chosen the guy who looked most like the person in the video.  The random element didn't really help me get away from that.

“You okay?” Veronica asked, pointing the camera at me.

I looked at her, at the projecting lens of the camera, then back at her.  She was watching me through the range-finder, and the whole thing was honestly a bit alienating.  She wasn't paying attention to me but to an image of me, an electronic simulacrum created out of bits and pixels.

Ronnie worked in a call center, and could turn on the charm when she had to.  She never did when she didn't have to, though.  I could understand that:  she had to dress up in slacks and a blouse for work, she had to raise the pitch of her voice, she had to smile. When she was with us she dressed in jeans and a tank top under a flannel shirt, she spoke in a husky voice, and she never smiled. Manny and Tom worked in health care, but if I had to pick one of us for surgeon material, it would be Veronica Elma Wagner.

“Just nerves,” I said.

She paused.

“Makes sense.  You think anything is going to happen?”

I shook my head as the door opened.

“No.  Just feels like bad luck,” I said as I stepped in.

“What do you mean?” she asked, adjusting the focus.

No way to back out of it, now, though.  I hit “4.”

“Like I'm making fun of a dead person.”

Part of me was gratified that she looked up at me as the door slid shut.

I took out my phone and hit record on it before sticking it in my breast pocket, lens exposed.  I turned to look out the window, mugging the camera Manny was holding like I was on “The Office.” After a second, I gave a tired “thumbs up,” signaling “all clear.”

Manny didn't live in the house anymore.  His room had become my room, and he had washed his hands of things for almost six months, but he still worked with Tom and was eventually dragged back in.  I liked him.  We weren't friends, or anything, but he was just magnetic: handsome, reliable, charming.  Good to have around.  I felt bad that he was spending a late night with a bunch of assholes like the Spook House Group.

Once the doors opened, I waited a second and then hit “2.”

Veronica had just gotten into position, having run up from the first floor.  The door dinged open, and I gave her the “all clear.”

When the door closed, I hit “6.”

Third…

Fourth...

As I passed Tom on the fifth floor, I flipped him the double bird. I could see the son of a bitch just laughing.

He was getting a kick out of this.  He was such a juvenile piece of shit.  I don't get why Owen kept putting him in charge of these tests.  Probably just the shouting.  Tom could argue for hours over minutiae and there was no getting him to shut up about it.  Force of personality, my ass.  He'd known the other three since high school, and I got the feeling that he'd just eroded them, worn them down until they didn't have the will to put a stop to it.

It must have to do with his height, I figured.  Even Veronica had an inch or two on him, and he was the type who would never really pack on that much muscle or fat, so he had the personality of a bantam rooster on speed.  All twitchy and looking to establish dominance.

That's unfair.  It's also true.

Unlike the rest of us, Tom hadn't been scarred by the weird shit.  He'd been empowered by it.  He'd become convinced of his own importance, deriving meaning from it.  Then it had slipped from his life, retreating from it like some woodland creature running away from the light of a forest clearing.  He wanted it back, and didn't understand how traumatized the rest of us were.

Our worst moment mapped on to his best, and he couldn't put himself in our shoes.  He was all about this.  That's why he was leader, I imagine.  He wanted it.  He wanted it, bad.

I lowered my hands and looked at Manny just getting in to position as the door dinged and opened to the sixth floor.  I raised my hand and gave a shaky thumbs up.

The silence was getting to me.  Elevators were stressful places.  It was a machine whose sole purpose was to get you from one place to another, and I spent all day, every day, driving.

The door closed.  I hit “2.”

Wave to Ronnie there.

Up to “10.”

This was the longest period of largely unobserved travel.  I shouldn't have been nervous about it.  The eyes of my housemates – well, housemates and Manny – were bothersome when present, but I just felt anxious when they weren't watching.  There was no winning, really.  There was no way to get comfortable.

Maybe I could get off.  Maybe I could trade with somebody.

No...no...we had drawn straws.  That was the protocol.

I gave Frankie a thumbs up at “10.”

The big, blonde ex-goth waved back at 10.  He was how I knew the rest of these people:  we had worked at the same pizzeria for a long period, and I had moved in just after I left in the most spectacular fashion.  He had jumped ship shortly after in solidarity, switching over to manning the grill over at the Westport Flea Market, where he was stoked about the fact that he worked in the same building as the former site of Bob's Bizarre Bazaar, a shop operated by Kansas City's most famous serial killer, Bob Berdella.  I wonder if the serial killer fascination was what had led to him being a goth kid, if it has been nascent in the good Catholic school boy he had once been.  Had he been watching Silence of the Lambs in the wilds of the Southwestern Suburbs, thinking about Ed Gein while biking around the cul-de-sac?  Or had it been an outgrowth of that subculture?  A perverse fascination that he had developed after the torn ACL moved him from football to theater?

I guess I'll never know.

He waved back.

Absentmindedly, I hit “5.”

The elevator descended.

When the door opened, I turned sharply away, looking out the window at Tom, who was narrating something into his camera.  Someone else had gotten on the elevator.  Tom grinned and gave me the thumbs up.

The beautiful young woman from the internet had stepped on.

Ꚛ

Tom spoke low, directly into the microphone:  “Young, Asian woman getting on the elevator...”

He squinted.  “I think? I can't tell her age…Wait!  Shit, that's because she's far away, not because she's – ”

He trailed off.

“She looks pretty well-dressed?  Like put-together?  The sort of clothes you would wear to a job interview.  Like...one of those dresses that's worn over a shirt, leaving only the collar and sleeves out.  She's got a white shirt on.”

The walkie-talkie he had in his breast pocket crackled, and Manny spoke.

“Shirt or blouse?”

“What's the difference?”

“How loose is it?” Manny asked.

“I don't know!  It's pretty far away.”

“Let's just call it a blouse.”

“Okay, fine,” Tom said.  “Blouse, then.  She also looks like she's got some panty-hose on.”

“Also, the dress you're talking about is a jumper,” Manny said.

“How do you know so much about women's clothing?” Tom asked.

“Hey, I've got hobbies you don't know about.  I don't hang out with you guys all the time.”

“I think he means that he just pays attention,” Veronica said.

“Yeah, Manny's pretty observant,” Frankie added.

“Shut up!  This isn't important,” Tom said, and waved, gesturing to Jules for continue.

Slowly, Jules swallowed and shook his head.

“He's refusing to continue.  I can't believe it,” Tom said.

“Hey, we've got confirmation.  Lady just appeared out of nowhere, right?” Frankie said.  “Can't we just call this one?”

“I...I think? She might have?”

“Were you not paying attention?” Veronica asked, barely hiding her exasperation.

“I'm going to call him,” Tom said.

He ignored the walkie-talkie for a moment and pulled out his phone, hit the contact information for Jules, and raised it to his ear.

Jules pulled out his phone, looked at it, and sighed.  It was a visible, dramatic sigh.  He looked over at Tom, made direct eye contact, and touched something on the screen.  It went to voicemail.

“Son of a bitch didn't accept my call!” Tom complained.

He almost missed the woman say something.  Almost missed Jules go rigid and fight the urge to look at her.

Jules reached over and hit “1.”

The elevator didn't move.  Its lights flickered.  Tom wrinkled his nose as an unpleasant smell assaulted his senses.  An electric buzz seemed to emanate from it.

There was a pained screeching noise as the elevator shot up to the tenth floor far faster than it should have.  Jules fell down, but the woman remained standing.

“Fuck!” someone shouted.

“What –?” someone else began

After a moment, Frankie spoke: “Uh...guys, the elevator is full of smoke.”

The elevator began to slowly slide down toward the first floor. There was an uncomfortable ratcheting noise that accompanied it down.

“I'm only seeing one silhouette,” Manny said at the sixth.

“First floor,” Tom said.

“How do you know it's…?” Frankie asked.

“First floor,” Veronica said, backing Tom up.

“Right,” Manny said.

Tom broke down the tripod, pulling the camera free after a second and began to head for the first floor, taking the stairs down. Veronica was already ahead of him, but he figured he would be second to reach –

Manny passed him, carrying his camera by the tripod, and Tom cursed under his waning breath.

In the lobby, Veronica was filming the woman from behind a planter, peeking the lens of the camera out around the planter.  Manny was crouched next to her behind the same planter, completely hidden from the woman's view.

Tom walked right past them, and began to film the woman, walking around her slowly and steadily.  Her black jumper dress was worn over a cream-colored blouse, all of which fit well enough that someone more knowledgeable than Tom would assume that it had been tailored to fit her.  She was about as tall as Tom was, with most of her height in her legs.  The cold white smoke around her feet began to dissipate, revealing that she was wearing flats.  Tom wondered if Manny would want to explain the difference to him.

She noticed the movement, and turned to look at him.

“What was that about?” she asked.  “Do you know?”

She had a pronounced accent, but spoke confidently and clearly. English might not be her first language, but she had been speaking it long enough to have a firm command of the language, Tom assumed.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Tom said, training his camera on her.

She looked at him, down at the camera, then back up at him.

“You're filming me?” she asked, confused and dismayed.

“You bet your ass.  Our friend just disappeared and you stepped out of the elevator he was in.  So unless the Elevator Game is some elaborate gender-swap ritual and you're Jules – in which case, you look a lot better as a girl than as a guy, I mean, just saying – then – ”

Veronica, having set down her camera, stepped in and cut Tom off.

“Tom?  Shut up.  How many times do we have to tell you to be more careful?”

Tom turned to look at her, uncomprehenidng.

She stepped between Tom and the woman, almost blocking his view with the camera lens.  Tom tried to correct, Veronica grimaced at him, and then used one finger to push the camera away to not record the woman.

“I'm sorry about him,” she said.  “He was never the same after he stopped huffing glue, you know?”

“I never – !” Tom began to protest.

Manny took Tom by the shoulders and pulled him back a step.

The woman nodded slowly, and her posture relaxed.  Veronica took a step closer, but didn't invade her personal space.

“If you could return our friend,” Veronica said, “we would be very grateful.”

The woman cocked her head to the side.

“Your friend?  Oh!  The man from the elevator.  He slipped away, I won't be able to find him.”

Veronica slumped slightly.

“Oh.  Right.  Sorry to bother you.”

“It's okay,” the woman said.  “I'm just a bit turned around. I think I got into a liminality without realizing it.”

“Liminality?”

“Liminality.  Heterotopos.  Thin place.”

Veronica nodded slowly.

“A place that is part of two or more spaces.  A...crosshatch?”

“I think I understand.”

The woman looked at Veronica appraisingly.  Her large, dark eyes put Veronica in mind of a cenote, an unexpected yawning well in the surface of the earth.

“You seem like you might,” was all the woman said.

“Can I ask who you are?” Veronica asked.

“Forgive me,” the woman said.  “I don't really give out my real name lightly.  To explain myself simply, I'm a...hmm...a traveler, a seeker.”

She reached into a pocket sewn into the side of her dress, and pulled out something that looked like a cigarette case: aluminum-shiny, with an embossed bit of cursive text on it – “CABIN FILTERS” – and opened it up.  She pulled a business card out of it, on which was written:

Ms. 5

SEANCES * CARTOMANCY * PALMISTRY

KC-0057-665-93

“Is this a phone number?”

“What?  Of course it is.”

“What are you searching for?” Tom asked, cutting in.

“Something I don't think I can find here,” she said regretfully.

“You're being awful evasive,” Tom muttered.

“And you're prying,” the woman said, an oddly satisfied smile on her face.  “So in the Prisoner's Dilemma of politeness, let us both defect.”

Tom blinked.

“...What?”

“I must get back to my search.  This is a dead end.”

Franklin rounded his corner and raised his camera just as the woman climbed back aboard the elevator.  She bent down, studied the panel, and held down two buttons while pressing a series of others  in a particular sequence.

She looked back at the group.  Frankie zoomed in on her face.

“Be seeing you,” she said with a smile.

The door closed.  The lights flickered.  A strange, pungent smell wafted in cold waves from the elevator doors before the car rose with a pained shriek.

“What the hell is that?” Tom said, coughing.

“I don't know,” Veronica said, waving the air in front of her face.

“Kind of like...it smells like how it would smell if cinnamon could rot,” Manny said.

“Seriously, what the hell was that?” Tom asked.

Veronica sighed.

“The first confirmed incident in like...a decade?”

“Guys?” Franklin said, holding his nose.

“What?” Tom said.

“Where's Jules?”

A moment of silence followed.

“Fuck,” Tom said, quietly.

[maxfreedmanwrites-blog]

MUSIC I LIKED IN 2017 THE MOST WRETCHED YEAR

It’s been a shit year for the world at large. Even when progressives gain more government seats, right-wing bullshit continues to enact hateful policies that expand the gap between the wealthy and everyone else. I truly mean it when I say that music, the conversations we have about it, and the many other people I know who care about it kept me going this year. This has always been true, but it felt even more true this year.

I’m not going to write about all of these at length like I did in my half-year post. Some might have comments like “wow, this aged well,” or “man, this didn’t age well,” or “I work with this band, and here’s how you can get to know them.” I’ll link to any ones I’ve written about. I’ll share listening links for all.

This year was quite good musically (but it’s no 2014, a year that still feels mythical):

Throughout, * means I work with the artist

SONGS

HONORABLE MENTION, IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER:

Arca - "Desafío" | from Arca

Balún - "Teletransporte" | single

Big Thief - "Shark Smile" | from Capacity

Blanck Mass - "Silent Treatment" | from World Eater

Blessed - "Headache" | from II (review at Post-Trash)

Fufanu - "Liability" * (we do their media, more love for them in Albums) | from Sports

Jay Som - "Baybee" | from Everybody Works

LCD Soundsystem - “how do you sleep” | from american dream

Leyya - "Zoo" ^ (used to work with these folks) | single

Makthaverskan - "in my dreams" | from III

Mozart's Sister - "My Heart Is Wild" | from Field of Love (feature at FLOOD)

Odonis Odonis - “Vision” | from No Pop

Shilpa Ray - “EMT Police and the Fire Department” | from Door Girl (review at Post-Trash)

TORRES - "Righteous Woman" | from Three Futures

“I am not a righteous woman/I’m more of an ass man”

Yoke Lore - "Only You" * (we do his radio, good interview at Atwood Magazine) | from Goodpain

Zola Jesus - "Veka” | from Okovi

Zula - “City World” | from 6 Passes (review at Post-Trash)

TOP 20, RANKED:

20. ​Palm - "Walkie Talkie" | from Shadow Expert

Though I’m iffy on the EP, I’m excited for the new album next year, and this song slays.

19. Omni - “Equestrian” | from Multi-task (review at Paste)

If all post-punk was this jerky and minimal, I wouldn’t complain.

18. ​Högni - “Crash” | from Two Trains

I saw this guy on a whim at Iceland Airwaves and haven’t been able to stop listening since then. The synth that comes in at 2:45 completes me.

17. ​Gabriel Garzón-Montano - "The Game" | from Jardín

16. ​Julien Baker - “Turn Out the Lights” | from Turn Out the Lights

Can we get more of Julien Baker doing the quiet-to-loud burst?

15. Hundred Waters - “Blanket Me” | from Communicating

This song is borderline melodramatic, and I really like it.

14. Lorde - “Green Light” | from Melodrama

Pop perfection, as we all know.

13. ​yaeji - “raingurl” | from EP2

12. Vince Staples - “Yeah Right” | from Big Fish Theory

boy yeah right yeah right yeah right. BOY YEAH RIGHT YEAH RIGHT YEAH RIGHT

11. zuli - “kubadiver” * (we do his radio, Rolling Stone says you should listen) | from on human freakout mountain

10. ​Mammút - "Kinder Versions" | from Kinder Versions

I don’t work directly with this band, but I work with Iceland Airwaves, which they play every year, and the Reykjavik Calling concert series, which they played this year. In their Stereogum interview, they talk about how this song came together, and it’s really interesting and a testament to what makes this song amazing.

9. ​Perfume Genius - "Wreath” | from No Shape

8. Kelela - “Frontline” | from Take Me Apart

This is the most straightforward song on the album. It’s weird that it’s my favorite.

7. Run the Jewels ft. Kamasi Washington - “Thursday in the Danger Room” | from RTJ3

I’m still not over the whole “Run the Jewels made a sad song” thing.

6. Dream Wife - “Somebody” | from Dream Wife

This song is so sticky and vicious in all the right ways. I’m having a bit of trouble getting into the couple of other songs from the self-titled debut LP coming out next year, but this song is awesome.

5. Kelly Lee Owens ft. Jenny Hval - “Anxi” | from Kelly Lee Owens (feature at FLOOD)

“CBM” is a bit better, but since the version on the album is no different than the version on last year’s Oleic, I’m not counting it here. Also, “Throwing Lines” is worth mentioning here too as a therapeutic slice of heaven.

4. (Sandy) Alex G - “Brick” | from Rocket

3. Moses Sumney - “Lonely World” | from Aromanticism

The 2017 version is produced differently than the 2016 version, so it’s on here. What a killer song.

2. St. Vincent - “Los Ageless” | from MASSEDUCTION (review at Paste)

This has been a St. Vincent classic since the very first time I heard it.

1. Priests - “JJ” | from Nothing Feels Natural

Okay, technically, it came out in October 2016 when the album was announced, but the album came out this year, and it’s amazing. So it’s on here. (Pitchfork said “Oblivion” was the best song of 2012, but it came out in 2011. This has precedent.)

ALBUMS

HONORABLE MENTION, IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER:

All Our Exes Live in Texas - When We Fall * (we do their radio and are pretty much their US/Canada spiritual guides) | Listen: “Tell Me”

Arca - Arca | Listen: “Reverie”

Big Thief - Capacity | Listen: “Mythological Beauty”

Blanck Mass - World Eater | Listen: “The Rat”

The Districts - Popular Manipulations (review at Paste) | Listen: “Salt”

Feist - Pleasure | Listen: “Century”

FOAM - Coping Mechanisms * (we did media outreach for them, New Noise Mag has more) | Listen: “Get on Board”

Hand Habits - Wildly Idle (Humble Before the Void) | Listen: “Actress”

Högni - Two Trains | Listen: “Komdu með”

Kendrick Lamar - DAMN. | everyone has listened to this, come on

Kllo - Backwater (review at Paste) | Listen: “Downfall”

Mozart's Sister - Field of Love (feature at FLOOD) | Listen: “Moment 2 Moment”

Omni - Multi-task (review at Paste) | Listen: “Southbound Station”

Palm - Shadow Expert EP | Listen: “Shadow Expert”

Protomartyr - Relatives in Descent | Listen: “Don’t Go to Anacita”

Soley - Endless Summer (review at Paste) | Listen: “Grow”

Sylvan Esso - What Now | Listen: “Kick Jump Twist”

This Is The Kit - Moonshine Freeze (review at Paste) | Listen: “Hotter Colder”

Yoke Lore - Goodpain * | Listen: “Goodpain”

Zola Jesus - Okovi | Listen: “Exhumed”

Zula - 6 Passes (review at Post-Trash)  | Listen: “All Except”

TOP 20, RANKED:

20. LCD Soundsystem - american dream | Listen: “tonite”

I thought I was over this band. I’m not. This may be my favorite album of theirs, but I don’t often make it through albums this long. “how do you sleep” is perfect.

19. Lorde - Melodrama | again, everyone has listened to this

18. Yaeji - yaeji EP/EP2 | Listen: “Feel It Out”

I’ve combined two EPs into an album! Yaeji is that good. Her debut album, whenever that comes, is going to be incredible.

17. Kelela - Take Me Apart​ | Listen: “LMK”

16. Julien Baker - Turn Out the Lights | Listen: “Appointments”

15. ​Gabriel Garzón-Montano - Jardín | Listen: “Sour Mango”

This album dropped a good deal from my half-year rankings. The great songs are still brilliant, but the others haven’t aged perfectly. Regardless, he’s a fantastic live performer.

14. Run the Jewels - RTJ3 | Listen: “Stay Gold”

Another case of “many songs still slay, others aged imperfectly.”

13. ​Mammút - Kinder Versions | Listen: “Breathe Into Me”

12. TORRES - Three Futures | Listen: “Three Futures”

It’s a St. Vincent album. I love St. Vincent. (TORRES has the words STRANGE MERCY tattooed on her forearm.)

11. Vince Staples - Big Fish Theory | Listen: “745″

10. Perfume Genius - No Shape | Listen: “Slip Away”

This is one of two albums ever about which I can say, “This sounds like nothing else I’ve ever heard, and it’s amazing.” The other is Portishead’s Third, which I listened to more this year than I listened to most of the albums on this list.

9. Zuli - on human freakout mountain * | Listen: “blaze”

Such a brilliant songwriter and dogmatic performer. Think Weezer plus Beach Boys, with Bitte Orca worship (aka me in the club) tossed in.

8. Kelly Lee Owens - Kelly Lee Owens | Listen: “CBM” (feature at FLOOD)

I was surprised at the more pastoral moments on the album at first, which is why it was lower on my half-year list. Those moments have aged brilliantly. I’d rank it even higher if I hadn’t already submitted my list to like three other places before publishing this.

7. Alvvays - Antisocialites | Listen: “Saved by a Waif”

Still the best pop band around. Simple songs, but not obvious, and so pristinely produced.

6. Moses Sumney - Aromanticism | Listen: “Plastic”

These songs never leave my head. What a weird and fascinating sound.

5. Fufanu - Sports * (we do media outreach for them, Stereogum has more) | Listen: “Sports”

Fufanu and Mammút are Iceland’s best rock bands, both live and on record. Sports is a brilliant mesh of rock and techno. I love working with these dudes.

4. (Sandy) Alex G - Rocket | Listen: “Proud”

I’ve gone from “Alex G is overrated as fuck” to “damn, Rocket is amazing.”

3. Jay Som - Everybody Works | Listen: “The Bus Song”

Most of the time, the cliche of a “record to get lost in” makes me roll my eyes. This is a record to get lost in.

2. St. Vincent - MASSEDUCTION (review at Paste) | Listen: “Pills”

My favorite artist of all time has a new album! It’s amazing! For the first time, it’s a grower, not an instant hit. It’s no Strange Mercy, but I prefer it a bit more than the always fantastic Actor. I definitely like it more than the weird and lovable St. Vincent and the precious but still solid Marry Me.

1. Priests - Nothing Feels Natural | Listen: “Nothing Feels Natural”

I expect this album to make my top ten of the decade. I’ve already rambled enough about how much I love it. I promise you it’s worth a listen. Hell, I ranked it higher than a St. Vincent album. That should tell you everything.

[askthealphabet]

You just wait until another anon gives you and Liam a daughter. She will find out what you have been doing to Liam for the past eleven years. And what you have done to his grandmother's grave.

"You're an odd one."

[askthealphabet]

I will not spoil it for everyone else. I know that you do evil things to him. Blood is in the carpets.

"I can guarantee that there isn't."

[askthealphabet]

I am from the future. I know your secret of what you do to Liam, Owen.

"And what exactly do you know?"

[askthealphabet]

*Begins throwing rocks through Liam and Owen's window to try and hit them*

"Quit throwing shit at me!"

[askthealphabet]

Hey there Liam and Owen, I am FireSprout Anon!

I'm an anon who sets people on fire if they're rude.

I wear gloves and boots to protect the fire from spreading around accidentally. My wings are a fiery red color.

So... question. Have you been rude in the last 24 hours?

-FireSprout Anon 🔥🌱

L:"And I want nothing to do with what's about to happen"

O:"Are you really just leaving me to die?"

[askthealphabet]

I don't like you Liam and Owen of that you bullied fang and Nelson

"Get over it"

[askthealphabet]

Liam, Owen, I get that you're in love and all but

A B C D E F U, AND YOUR MOM, AND YOUR SISTER AND YOUR JOB AND YOUR BROKE-ASS CAR AND THAT SHIT YOU CALL ART! FUCK YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS THAT I'LL NEVER SEE AGAIN, EVERYBODY BUT YOUR DOG, YOU CAN ALL FUCK OFF!

APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT YOU DID TO FANG

"Why should we?"

[askthealphabet]

Magical Anon! Any ponytails and braids come undone, and remain like that for 3 asks!

X:"I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE,IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!"

L:"Alright whatever"

I:"FUCK YOU!"

J:"Just. Why? I don't mind,but why?"

[askthealphabet]

Ira, Liam, why does a capital i and lowercase l look the same in the Arial font? You two are those letters so if anyone knows you should

L:"No fucking clue."

I:"I DON'T KNOW NOW FUCK OFF!"

[askthealphabet]

I WIN YOU GAY BITCHES -Blue Anon

"Oh shut the hell up."