#alostsoul

[hmzky]

The Scenery of the Rain

Some things are just not meant to be,  like the feelings I have for you and me.  I miss the scenery of the rain when it would come.  When it does, it would be my tears that are coming down.

Tomorrow is a new day.

[zeebaasif-blog]

💃🏻”Guide at Wisdo”!💃🏻 I’d call this my first block to rebuilding since I hit Rock bottom! Kinda proud of myself! Wisdo is the prefect space to share your experiences, offer help to others who are now where you have been, show some love and seek help! Download the Wisdo App! ☺️✌🏻 #agirlwithashatteredheart💔 #thestronggirl🐣 #stepstosuccess #awanderingmind #alostsoul #muchlove❤️ #thewisdoapp

[mybloodjustwantstosayhellotoyou]

When you lose your 'soul' at Thought Bubble 2017. #thoughtbubble2017 #leeds #alostsoul #sad #onthestreet (at Leeds)

[stephsmagicalplace]

#love #care #alone #no one #alostsoul

[veveebog-blog]

#alostsoul

Ich hab es nicht leicht als Kind

Umgeben von Trauer-

Angeboren, angeklebt an den Charakter.

In dieser Welt hab ich zwei Möglichkeiten -

Stillzustehen oder davonzutreiben.

Es ist wie es ist: entweder ich bin's

Oder nicht.

Ich wollte nur eins: zu treiben

In deinen Armen zu verschwinden

In einer Welt wo wir uns irgendwann finden.

Wir finden uns nicht: ich muss dich entbinden.

Wir kommen allein, gehen allein

Wohin ich geh' wirst du nicht sein.

Ich greife nach Sternen doch bis ich

Bei dir bin werd' ich alles verlernen.

Ich seh deine Hand im Milchglaslicht

Millionen Sterne verdecken sich

Denn im eisig kalten Nebel der Nacht

Hat sich deine Illusion davon gemacht.

Bitte lass mich erfrieren und nicht wissen

Wie die Jahre verstrichen in denen wir uns vermissten.

Bitte lass mich vergessen die Leere

Die ich spür' wenn ich dich jetzt so sehe,

Dich mit allem was ich jemals begehrte.

Bitte vergiss mich.

Ich kenne dich kaum.

Ich begehre dich.

Und dennoch seh ich was sie nicht sieht.

[almennon]

https://myanimelist.net/mangalist/alostsoul

https://myanimelist.net/manga/4632/Oyasumi_Punpun/userrecs

salvando links

[a-selflovedsoulx-blog]

1:44 Am

it’s been 6 months since my sister was killed. it’s been 6 months since I’ve felt like myself. it’s been 6 months and everyday i wake up, put a smile on my face and pretend everything’s okay. It’s been 6 months and my own mother can’t see how depressed i’ve become. it’s been longer than 6 months since i last tried to kill myself. it’s been 6 months and all i’ve been doing is numbing myself. it’s been 6 months of numbing myself of the pain and hurt i’ve been feeling inside of me. it’s been 6 months and my sister is dead. 6 months ago that bitch took her life. 6 months ago he took her away from her children and family 6 months i’ve been feeling broken. 6 months and i just want it to end. All I’ve wanted for the past 6 months is for someone to look me in my eyes and hold me close and say “I know you’re not okay. I know you’ve been pretending to hold yourself together..” 6 months, 6 months it took to get me back to that dark place. 6 months I feel like I’ve been screaming and trying to escape. 6 months have past and I haven’t put myself first. 6 months and it’s time to beat this depression. 6 months and it’s time to love myself first.

[iamelleb]

No one really knows what tomorrow brings. All we have is today. Cheers to 25 years of existence!

[hmzky]

Time is an interesting topic

Time is always an interesting topic. A topic with regrets or hope. A desire to go back to fix or to know. An impulse to break free or to grow. A place to hide or to show. To show how much we have lost and how much we have grown. To show how good it was and how was it worse. To show how did we survive or how did we lose. Full of things we want to be that we can’t do. To show how much the time was precious when we are together. To show how much the time was gold when we are together To show how much i regret of letting you go. To show how much i loved you. Time is always an interesting topic. No matter how hard i’m trying to move on, it will always be about you. Tomorrow is a new day.

[zeebaasif-blog]

💩 I’m down with a terrible cold😰 #shitloadoflies #dealingwithanarcissist #agirlwithashatteredheart💔 #thestronggirl🐣 #alostsoul #awanderingmind #anaspiringwriter #love #letthemgo #life #lovequotes #loveyourself #lifequotes #personallifeblogger #muchlove❤️

[hmzky]

The Book of Us

I just want to close the chapters of me loving you Doesn't mean that i never actually in love with you I've been fallin' when i'm thinking about you Fallin' down from the sky because i got no wings nor parachute.

The one thing i shouldn't do Just like a sore loser, i'm a simp for you You were there for me when i needed you So, i'll be here when you need me if things get worse for you.

I said “Chapters” not the whole book Along through the pages, maybe it could be you But for now i'll put it on the “bookshelf of us” Till the day where the time will be clear to us. Wish you could stay till the epilogue Wish you’d see me while i’m in the fog. The fog indicates the chapter of me loving you Then, the wind blew me away, far away from you.

And i wish that i could lie About my afraidness of goodbyes I know the truth I know that you are just one more thing that i have to lose.

Tomorrow is a new day.

[hmzky]

My Desire

It's been a long time since i wrote that letter About my desire for us to be together. I know that it doesn't even matter Cause you’re still with him, maybe forever. And i don't know if i can keep up with this pace But i'll be here waiting like always. Tomorrow is a new day.

[hmzky]

Love

What is love? "Love was never existed, it was just a trick of a weak and a fragile heart that didn't know what to do until it finally fell into that self-righteous trap." -PapaBison    That writing was written by my cousin, i would say he is a really good writer (better than me for sure) and when i saw his writing about love, i was pretty confused that a guy like him who has more deep feelings than me, have that thoughts about love. So, i have prepare some stuff to write about my own thoughts on this matter. Still, he is a really great writer, but i have to say something about this.    Personally, i disagree on some part of it, but i do agree where it says “It didn’t know what to do so its trying to find something.” Sometimes, we tend to forget where we came from, we tend to forget what is our purpose, so when our heart is at lost, we trying our best to chase on that ‘glimpse of hope.’ For some people, it’s love, for some people, it’s money, for some people, it’s throne. Well, for some people they can’t catch that glimpse of hope and the darkness stays with them.    Love is a weird, stupid, and most beautiful thing in this world that we can do as a human being. But yet, even when we found it, we still have that naive way of thinking that love would stay forever, that there will be no goodbyes, no pain, and no sadness.    This would be a very hard pill to swallow, when there is love, there would be hate and pain. You may ask, “why? You just said that it is the most beautiful thing we can do.” Well i did, but i also said that it is the most dumbest and weirdest thing we can do, yet. We did it anyway.    This would take long to explain and i don’t have any other way to explain it. When i’m talking about love, the first thing that i think about is my Mom and my Dad. For me, their love is the most purest and real thing i have ever seen, like every other household, they fight. When they do, i felt the pain too, because i see them as a pure love, so when they fight, i felt sick.    Then of course, that is the part of love, whenever they do fight, they get it through together, so i asked my Mom “How can you guys keep fighting over and over, don’t you guys feel tired? Cause i am.”    A simple answer was given by my Mom, she said “Who says we don’t? But we have to get it through, when you have something to fight for, you can’t run from it, if we think running is the only solution, then what’s the point of this 20+ years of marriage?”    And i stumbled, i never thought that love could be so hard and painful, never thought that love is way harder than making a bowl of spaghetti (please, it is pretty difficult, don’t judge me.)     I always thought that love is full of romantic, passion, and colorful stories. Well, it isn’t. If there is ever a love like that, then this life would be in a much better place don’t you think?    My Mom and my Dad are a prove of ‘Love is about going through the storm together and survive from it together.’ Then, i found (i think) my own answers to ‘What is love?’    Love is where you feel the storm of the river, where you feel alive when you are not breathing, where you stand in the dark but you keep on walking, where you believe in faith and hope of everything. Love is an art that we paint through happiness, sadness, anger, and last but not least. Pain.    Pain of suffering, pain of knowing goodbyes, pain of blindness, pain of tears dropping down your eyes. The greatest of suffering, when we get it through, we felt alive more than before.    Love is not only when you feel happiness, love is when you feel all of emotions all at once and drain it down to your deepest heart. Then the next day you realize, this world is a beautiful place when you have love.    And there you go, to be honest with you, i never have any relationship before, so it’s basically like you listening to someone who is talking about culinary but they don’t even know what is culinary all about. Even though, i think that love is not about having relationship with your significant other, i think love is just a form of we showing our compassion to something or someone in a way that people could never understand, they would call us crazy, nuts, idiots, self-centered pricks, then again, we did it anyway.    So, why don’t i want to have any relationship if you may ask? Simple, i can’t get through the pain yet, but i know one day i can. For now, i’m a dead fish who is following the flow, one day i would make my own waves and ride with it along with ‘The One.’ When? Who knows, timing sucks, but i know it’ll come. When it does, i’ll love her with all of my heart.   And i know one day, my perspective of love would change. Again. Tomorrow is a new day. P.S  Love sucks tho not gonna lie, and spaghetti is actually pretty easy but it takes too long that sometimes i just pull it out and realized that it still not cooked very well. Sorry Gordon Ramsay, i’ll try better next time.

[hmzky]

Drowning

With this tears, i healed my wounds with this smile, i hid my wounds With this fear, i held on to you with this desire, i devoted myself for you Does it ever drive you crazy? over this love that we should let it be My soul needs some cigarette over this love that keeps alive in my head A cup of coffee to keep me awake so i wouldn’t fall asleep and dreaming about you I just want to let all of this go and let my self drown in hatred alone.

Tomorrow is a new day.

[hmzky]

Hope

They never listened to what is going on with me That’s why i keep on running back to you hoping to fix me. And now i’m hoping too much from you My heart told me to find someone new.

Tomorrow is a new day.

[hmzky]

Questions

Overthinking over something i shouldn't be worry about Cause i always seeing this people getting stomp by life and they tryin' to find a way out. Honestly im scared, i really do What if it actually happen to me someday and there's nothing i can do?

Tomorrow is a new day.