#almost my own versions of them which isnt much but its enough for me

[jerk-of-the-year]

[ganondoodle]

i have seen people talk about how hard it is to draw anything if you have aphantasia (which is good to talk about and true and valid and also intersting to read and this post isnt to devalue that, two things can coexist etc etc)

i personally struggle with the opposite; i have incredible imagination, i'd say it's my best and only "inate talent", (this is not a brag ..) all stories i think about are movies, i can stop them, change camera angle and poses, rotate ever object however i want, place lighting sound and voices, even styles, i switch from ghibli to botw to fortiches style, even into the style of a comic i recently read which wasnt even animated, the only thing that only works half the time is music-

and that all might sound fantastic, but its a mess, it goes too fast and too quickly, things never play out one way, theres interruption, involuntarily sudden changes to other subjects, i feel like struggling to keep an angry horse on one path, it makes me waste HOURS each day just reversing and redoing a scene like im a movie director wizard in my head, theres no ONE finished version, it changes everytime yet i go back over and over again to make it better, i forget most of it within a few hours anyway; even IRL when someone tells me about a memory and they are not sure if i was with them during it once they start to explain trying to make me remember it instead i will imagine it, in the end i wont be sure if i actually remembered or if i just imagined it too real, it scares me how much i forget and cant remember only for my mind to make shit up, makign me doubt my own memory (its weird how it works, i have horrible geographical memory, when i drive somwhere i have known my entire life i need to remember the path to it by imagining driving it, i remember significant things but not the path to them or how they connect or in what order, i have to go through it in my head every single time)

by far the worst part though is that extreme disconnect between whats in my mind and what i can do, just because i can imagine things like that doesnt mean i can draw it (god i WISH), nothing i have ever drawn is how it was in my head, the few things you get to see are the ones i won the fight against myself with to keep going and say 'good enough' at some point the speed is a problem too, the things playing in my head, sometimes even multiple at the same time, play like, again, a movie, whatever im trying to draw is rarely ONE thing, its a whole scene that plays over and over, i want to draw it all but it wont work bc my mind is too fast and i am too slow, it makes me try to skip ahead and get things done as fast as possible, it NEVER works (also too much, theres so many things in my head, i have almost the entirety of the totk rewrite in my head already, novels worth of lore and story for my other projects, its overwhelming how much is in there that i cannot get out and on paper)

its why comics take me so long to make, why detailed paintings are so rare, its the rare times i can force myself to try and tune out my mind and just work on what is in front of me, usually works for a few hours .. if i can manage to reach that sort of focus at all, its why basic sketches of characters are so much easier to do bc i dont have to fight as hard to just draw a character doing nothing- as soon as i want to make it a sketch page of things and scenes the movies are back and are there to haunt me until i cry and give up after hours of trying to keep up with my mind that i will never be able to catch up to (and this is only about drawing .. )

i know skill and speed increase over time, but i wont ever get to where my mind is, its always ahead and trying to skip and jump towards it only makes me stumble and fall flat on my face- maybe its ADHD, maybe its the autism, maybe its the depression, maybe its just me, maybe its just all of that

what im trying to say is, head full, too much thought, too fast, never able to translate it into viewable things in the way and speed as my head works, i explode

[dreamsy990]

so it all comes to this.

to say i was excited to play 3 would be wrong. actually i was sort of dreading the game. i went in with expectations for the worst and was pleasantly surprised. which is not to say that its good. but its certainly a game! that i played! and now you get my thoughts. unfortunately a lot of my thoughts about the end of the game are kind of hard to separate so. if youre wondering where my thoughts on endgame stuff is. its at the end.

(also i havent played remind so theres no remind thoughts here. its all just base game kh3)

combat (with some other gameplay notes)

so. im not a big fan of the combat. to preface, i played the rest of the series on standard, but with kh3 i was told it was easy so i did proud! and yet it was still the easiest kh game.

kh3 is the first game in the series where i feel as though 'mash x to win' is a valid criticism <- thats not entirely true at the start, but later in the game it does feel a lot like that. almost every fight is mindless because of how easy it is. you can see it in the enemy health bars, theyre absurdly large because of how easy it is to take them down. they need to have that high of health so the fight isnt over in under a minute.

i dont think the base combat is bad. unsatisfying, maybe. But not bad. except for attraction commands.

attraction commands feel like part of a pattern in kh3, where they try to recreate what made the other games so good without understanding WHY it was good. what theyre recreating ofc being reaction commands. technically its the same as some reaction commands, sure, being a giant dramatic attack, but it doesnt work because theres no situational awareness in them.

attraction commands dont feel cool because theres nothing in them that requires use of your surroundings or that is tailored to the enemies youre fighting, since theres only a couple that can be used at any time. there's nothing strategic about using them either- reaction commands normally would give you a specific advantage, or could be used to avoid attacks, only sometimes dealing damage on their own. in kh3, all attractions do is deal damage. they are impersonal and often obtrusive- if youre like me and hate attractions, youll still often accidentally use one, since theres no way to disable them.

this is more abstract than anything, but something about attacking feels unsatisfying. the combat feels like it lacks any real sense of impact or weight to me. but thats all personal and not exactly good criticism so. i digress

also the bosses in 3 suck. you know its bad when the most memorable boss fight in your game is the tutorial. most of the boss fights in this game are so unmemorable that ive literally forgotten them. except of course demon tide. i despise demon tide. it was fine in 0.2 but not here. every time you fight it feels like a missed opportunity for something cooler.

i think flowmotion is worse now. i get that it was a bit too overpowered, but with how much it was limited i ended up hardly using it. i didnt like flowmotion because of the attacks, i liked it because of the movement. so to me, it ended up being a reminder of how kh3 failed instead of a fun feature.

also i know a lot of people like being able to switch keyblades in fights, but honestly i feel like it removes an element of strategy the other games had

the ui (and other visual things)

this isnt something i talked about in my other reviews. but in kh3 i must bring it up. if you follow me you may know my hatred for kh3s ui. so im going to talk about it again! this is the abridged version though. heres my whole rant if you want my full thoughts on it. but the short version is that i dont like it. i am someone with terrible vision and i can play every single kh game without glasses because the ui is just big enough that i can read it. most of the time i can read subtitles too. but in 3? i struggle even WITH glasses to read anything. the ui is too small to make out anything almost all the time. its really only by muscle memory that im able to play. my glasses broke while i was playing, and i literally couldnt play until i got new ones because i couldnt make out a single word on screen. its bad design.

im also upset that there ui art has been replaced with renders. its just a shame honestly. i loved the art in the older games. the renders feel bland in comparison.

and thats generally my take on the look of modern kh. sure its pretty, but its bland. kh has always had a certain cartoonish vibe to it thats starting to die out, and i think the shift to unreal engine was the first marker of that change. i like the look of old kh. its not too technically impressive but its incredibly charming. kh3 is anything but. the characters feel far less expressive, the worlds are realistically rendered, it feels unfitting for a series like kh. its hard for me to find kh3 as charming as the other games. the only word i can think of to really describe it is corporate.

i dont know if this is a rare take, but i think technically impressive visuals are far worse than distinct ones. kh used to have a unique look! now it just looks like every other semi-realistically rendered rpg.

story (featuring: more gameplay notes)

my problem with kh3's story was unavoidable really. dream drop distance set this game up for failure and so im not going to complain about dream drop distance. ANOTHER TIME ill talk about dream drop distance. i dont have time to make a post that long. i do have a lot of problems with the story that werent a result of ddd being terrible so i guess ill just bring up those.

one of my biggest issues with the game is how unimportant the roxas plot is. youre led to believe the game will revolve around it but then sora does nothing to further it. at all. at the start he CONSIDERS doing something, and then hes told by ienzo "no its fine ive got it. go do something else" and its barely ever mentioned again until the end.

this relates to my overarching problem with the plot: it feels aimless. in every kh game theres a REASON theyre going on a journey. soras looking for his friends, roxas is working a 9 to 5, the wayfinders are all following each other, etc. but in kh3 sora is looking for "the power of waking". what is the power of waking? i literally have no clue. thats how poorly defined it is. its an abstract goal, its not tangible or even really achievable. its just a macguffin. when the plot suddenly decides to happen at the end the whole journey feels pointless. you could skip every disney world past twilight town and you would probably be fine. it's not a journey, you're not exploring for a purpose, you're just killing time until other people handle the plot.

i also really hate the new organization (i refuse to call them the real organization. theyll never be the org). theyre painfully boring and poorly put together. the old org had structure, they had very specific goals, every member had a purpose. you knew how they worked and why they did what they did. the new org is just completely lacking in that. calling it an 'organization' is stupid because there's nothing organized about it. and even disregarding all that, the new organization also lacks any real personality. the members feel so boring, which sucks, because almost all of them are returning characters who used to be really fun. and why are most of them even there? no one except maybe xigbar seems to actually care about their mission. the old organization had a common goal and a reason everyone was there. they were nobodies, they wanted their hearts back. there's no reason for any of the new members to stick with xehanort. and if you say "well they were norted!" i then must ask. what exactly is norting? like really. it hasnt been possession since birth by sleep. norting is whatever nomura needs it to be in the moment. its not clearly defined, its just another macguffin.

also because i dont know where to put it, the battle of 10,000 heartless is just a terrible successor to the original fight. there's no stakes, no buildup, no friends fighting by your side, no reason to care. they just throw thousands of heartless with no ai at you. literally no ai, if you stand still they wont attack you. its a drag if anything, an homage to a better game done absolutely no justice.

back to what i was saying about the roxas plot, roxas' return is just such a nothing scene. theres nothing about it thats cathartic, his lines are impersonal and bland, theres nothing 'roxas' about it. roxas' defining feature has always been how emotional he is, and there's none of that here. its nothing. and then he does nothing afterwords. he has seven whole lines in this entire game, six of them are in this scene, and the last one is an inconsequential jab at sora at the very end. and then he fades into the background.

the writing in this game in general is actually weirdly worse than normal. it feels a lot less, idk, human? the older games were weird and absurdly cheesy but this is just. strange. look at the scenes with riku and mickey in the realm of darkness and youll see what i mean.

WHILE IM ON THAT SUBJECT. RIKUS KEYBLADE BREAKING IS BULLSHIT. remind me to rant about that another time though im not gonna go on a tangent about that here

also i would give my thoughts on the ending but i literally couldnt care less about xehanort. so i dont really have any! the final boss was alright though

i have more specific thoughts, but generally, the game feels aimless and underwhelming.

positives

i love axel and kairi! theyre a fun duo and ill never shut up about their parallels so seeing them together is nice. i wish they did anything but thats BESIDES the point im being POSITIVE here

also. the music is great. i love the music sm. its nowhere near my favorite kh soundtrack, it feels a lot more grand which isnt my thing but its still some of yoko shimomuras best work. also hearts as one. its the PERFECT conclusion to roxas' theme and arc. the progression of it from melancholic (roxas) to desperate (the other promise) to triumphant (hearts as one) is just so good. i wish the rest of this scene was as good as the music so i could compliment it more wholeheartedly yknow?

its actually funny also! kh isnt the funniest series, most of the time when it IS funny its completely on accident. but kh3 is like days in the way that it just. actually has funny writing. the jokes intended DO land and its just a breath of fresh air.

oh also riku being well adjusted is the funniest possible conclusion to his character arc. 10/10 im so happy hes normal. never give that boy an emo arc again nomura

conclusion

over all, kh3 is exactly like how my teachers described me in elementary school: it has a lot of potential, but doesnt apply itself. this couldve been a decent game but it simply doesnt do most things very well. i give it a 5.2 / 10. its not an actively bad game but its a game i have trouble enjoying. sidenote im retconning my opinion on bbs to say its 4.7 / 10 because a: my opinions have changed and b: i think 3 is better but i dont want to give it a very high score.

[neeeeeoposts]

Ohhhh, your FoulWilt art is so adorable! Do you have any headcanons for them, either as individuals or as a couple?

YOU BET I FUCKNG DO😈😈😈😈 also thank you sm 💕💕

but i'll do individual hc first before couple hc 💁‍♀️

also these hcs are most closer to my human au (see some of my doodles for their designs :P) so some headcanons may be inaccurate to a more canon version of them

just a warning; this is really freaking long so just saying-

v

• one of the episodes already portrayed this (S2E3: Where There's a Wilt There's a Way) but Wilt has this like rlly bad mentality where he must help anyone and everyone he can, takes everyones health and wellbeing before his own type of thing

• willing to give up his kidney if you asked him to

• sleeps in some of the most impossible positions known to man (Coco found him asleep in the closet once)

• either has flexiable as hell or has some stiff ass limbs, no in between

• can't sing well, but dances extremely good (from what he could learn from Frankie's computer)

• wilt helps Eduardo w his insomnia sometimes (I HC THAT ED HAS INSOMNIA STFU I THINK ITS CUTE)

• on the same topic on the last one, wilt also sews any of eduardo's broken plushies together when he's not around

• cooks like a god (pastries, not so much tho)

• probably forgot his birthday once or twice

• pansexual (he had to fight for his life to explain that he DOES NOT KISS THE COOKING PANS to Bloo)

alr larry's turn 🤭🤭

• didn't actually know HE was the reason for wilt's broken arm and eye, so when he found out, he was like- spending the whole month trying to both make it up to Wilt (despite the fact wilt repeated that he forgave larry) and was extremely guilt-ridden that he was basically isolating himself

• cant cook for shit, its almost sad

• probably the one to teach wilt how to say no and every cuss word known to man

• closeted hamilton fan (or just musicals in general), but he mostly enjoys dubstep or just VERY LOUD songs in general

• flower enthusiast, daisies are his favorite

• probably shaved his head once because he thought he'd look good but never again

• i think he smells like peaches ☝️😲

• bisexual (has dated before, sometime pre-Good Wilt Hunting ep then broke up lmao)

couple hcs🤭🤭🤭

• before dating they would actively avoid each other while also desperately trying to see each other too

• larry is touch starved and wilt is overly affectionate (via touch and words) so it works out basically

• i think they live on opposite sides of the house, so they make up for it by giving each other gifts and letters either whenever they see each other or some magical delivery system

• when they have sleepovers wilt has the life changing moment of what it feels like to actually sleep in a bed

• on that note, wilt is a massive cuddle person and will hang onto larry like a koala while asleep (trying to pry him off is nearly impossible)

• Frankie and Coco write fanfics about them, you cant tell me otherwise

• Their relationship developed from really long glances to the other from across the room to just holding hands in public and that was enough for Frankie to realize theyre dating

• i think i saw this in a fic once but the two would basically give very back-handed 'compliments' every time they saw each other, which developed into "dont you EVER FUCKING say that to him" when the other is insulted

• Rarely play basketball against each other, but when they do Larry is extremely fucking careful that wilt gets upset because he "isnt giving his best efforts" (Larry loses on purpose anyways for Wilt's sake)

• is there a term for when both partners in a relationship have massive problems and go to the other for advice and comfort? because i think thats them

• wilt has no knowledge of relationships whatsoever so trying to explain what a "pussy" is to him is very difficult ("like a cat?" "...no.")

• larry, with the help of nearly everyone in the whole house because theyre all broke as shit, bought wilt a prosthetic arm for his birthday and wilt sobbed on larry for a whole hour

• larry likes to throw wilt over his shoulder very often bc hes light as a feather and its just funny to him

• i think i just really like the "tall skinny guy" x "even taller and built guy w man boobas"

• wilt rarely swears unless needed to while larry says at least once per sentence

• both are awkward af so asking each other out is like a mental battle to the death

• mac, goo and bloo will spend hours trying to analyze a corkboard if they're in a relationship or not (when they do they will place traps for wilt and larry like a mistletoe)

• larry draws REALLY FREAKIGN good and when wilt found out he begged larry to post it somewhere (it blew up) and now every letter larry writes to wilt has a small doodle of something on the back or in the corner as per his request

• wilt gets flustered very very very easily and its really funny to larry

• watch movies together and either larry falls asleep on wilt or wilt goes to get more popcorn then never comes back because everyone needed a favor from him

• Jackie Khones is a certified detective on trying to figure out on what the actual hell is going on between the two (probably worked w Mac again in order to figure that out)

• Wilt is a dog person but Larry is a car person, that is one of the main (and probably only) arguments between them

• i already said wilt was a good cook so he'll always make larry small snacks (because Herriman forbids people making their own meals for some reason) and larry will silently cry of happiness for a moment bc "wilt's too good for him"

• wilt blinks like a frog when he zones out and larry also finds it funny

• but on the opposite note, wilt found out that larry will sway side to side when idly standing or zoning out and likes to point it out whenever he does it (wilt finds it funny and cute at the same time)

• they save the corny nicknames for when theyre alone, but publicly will call each other stuff like "shorty" and "carebear" (wilt likes to call larry carebear because he's somehow more caring than anyone hes ever known and is nearly as tall as a bear)

• Wilt scheduled times designated to shit-talking Duchess with eduardo, coco, bloo, mac and frankie (Larry had no idea who Duchess even was but when he met her for the first time he never wanted to punch someone so bad)

• Wilt fish-kisses (looks like a 3) and Larry kisses w tongue

• madame foster now hosts 'pride parties' in june which was inspired by the couple so that residents of the house could feel comfortable while living there (and she got all the tea about them from Frankie)

ok tahts all bye

thanks so much for requesting <3

[preciousbarnes]

I Bet You Think About Me (Tony's Version)

Pairing: Tony Stark x Reader

Word count: 1k-ish

Tags: Angst

Inspiration: I Bet You Think About Me (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift, lyrics bolded and italicized belong to Taylor Swift

3 a.m. and I'm still awake, I'll bet you're just fine Fast asleep in your city that's better than mine

You laid in bed next to Tony, as he lightly snored, the noise filling the room of his bedroom in the penthouse he had just moved you into. You had been comfortable in your own place in Brooklyn, but it wasn't up to Tony's standards. At first, when the move-in talk began, his reasonings were "you deserve better", and "its not safe there, there was a mugging down the street!" But those remarks, after your refusal, turned into "honey, its embarrassing to me that you live there" and "you really want Happy driving all the way there and back almost every day for you?"

His shame hurt the most.

Brooklyn wasn't good enough for Tony Stark. He wanted someone from Manhattan or New York proper.

So here you were, all moved in and items put away. Living right in downtown New York City was a big change. It was brighter, louder, faster than your little corner of Brooklyn.

You curled to your side, bringing your legs to your chest and curling your arms around them to be in a position reminiscent of a fetal position. You allowed yourself to focus on Tony's breathing, thinking it would calm you. Instead, it made you more aware of the juxtaposition of Tony's comfort and your weight of shame and sadness.

But reality crept in, you said we're too different You laughed at my dreams, rolled your eyes at my jokes

"I want to go back to school, and try to start my own business", you told him one night over dinner. He choked on his expensive wine you didn't even know how to pronounce the name of, which at first you thought was an accident until the choking sounds morphed into laughter. He was laughing at your goal. It was funny to him.

Your heartbreak must have began to show on your face before you could school your expression into indifference. His cold hand reached across the table and grabbed yours, sending a chill up your arm from the temperature difference.

"Sweetheart, there's no reason for you to work. And business starting doesn't usually work out for people like you," he said as he sipped his wine once more.

"People like me?" You asked, not understanding and laughing awkwardly, trying to get rid of the tenseness that had begun enveloping the room.

In response, he rolled his eyes a bit and gave a condescending smile before chuckling and saying "Average people, darling. Business starting only works out for people with a way in, with some ingenious ideas."

Mr. Superior-Thinkin' Do you have all the space that you need?

"Hey Tony, where are my things?" You asked upon his arrival back to his penthouse after spending the last few hours trying to find where your things had been moved. You assumed that maybe a cleaner had gathered things up to clean and must have moved them to a spare room or something. Nothing prepared you for what was about to happen.

"Oh, I was hoping to avoid this. I thought you'd get the hint and JARVIS could just inform you if you asked anything. Well, this isnt working out. Having you live here with me, its too crowded, too much. We're too different, its better to end things now." He told you, avoiding eye contact as he hung his suit jacket in the coat closet and took off his tie from the day of meetings he had.

"Its better to end things? You knew how different we were. I gave up everything for you. I gave you everything I had. Everything." You cried, eyes blurring with tears. At this, he snorted with a small laugh.

Everything? He asked with a chuckle, pouring some scotch into a glass. What have you possibly given me? It's been me doing the giving, dollface.

This broke your heart even more. He didn't even remember?

"Tony, I gave you my first, I gave you my heart and soul and body and you don't even remember?" You ask, in sobs.

"Listen, you were bound to lose it sometime, and we don't live in fairytales, it doesn't always work out" he said crassly.

You sobbed openly at his callousness. He was unaffected. He turned to walk to the bedroom you once called yours too, calling to you over his shoulder.

"I was able to get your old apartment back for you, I paid the security deposit and three months rent to give you some time to find a job again and as thanks for our time together. I'll see you around, maybe," he said loud enough for you to hear as he walked into the bedroom and shut the door behind him.

A thanks for your time together? Some kind of thank you, you thought to yourself as you wiped the tears off your face and gathered your coat and purse to return to the apartment in Brooklyn that was once your home before this disaster.

The voices so loud sayin', "Why did you let her go?" Does it make you feel sad That the love that you're lookin' for Is the love that you had?

It took months for Tony to see his mistakes. He went out, partied, playboyed it up. It wasn't the same as coming home to you. Someone who was so different. Something he once thought was bad. Turns out, it was so much better than being around people like him.

The next time you saw Tony was in the same little coffee shop that you had first met in. He was sitting across from a young woman with long, shiny blonde hair. She was talking, gesturing with her hands along with her words, but he looked overwhelmingly bored. He slowly blinked, picking up his coffee you had no doubt was straight black as it always was, as his eyes met yours over the mug as he took a sip.

You gave a small smile, and ordered your coffee to go, thinking to yourself that not too long ago, that girl had been you. The only difference was for a short time you kept Tony's interest. You just weren't what he thought he wanted for himself.

I bet you think about me.

[maxellminidisc]

Putting my thoughts under read more cause y'all know I talk A LOT when it comes to music, and once again I'm a person who is honest about what I like and what I don't, my ultimate faves are not exempt from my personal critique so be warned if you dont like reading anything but glowing reviews for everything!!!

Hard- I'm genuinely growing to dislike this song the more I hear it which honestly bums me the fuck out. There are slight improvements in the parts I ALREADY liked about it aka the vocal base, with Onew in the studio version. But once again, my biggest gripe with it is 2 things: you can separate this song into maybe 3 distinct tones, genres, and instrumentals that as separate parts work well but as instrumental tones only 2/3 of these section fit well with the artists in terms of suiting their vocal styles and their identity and it saves the song from being a complete let down. The 3rd section that does NOT suit them is unfortunately the obvious highlight for this song (the hip hop/rap sections obviously) and because it doesnt play on their strong suits it ends up feeling almost, and I hate to say this, shallow in comparison to the stronger parts of the song and thus sticks out even MORE with the vocal heavy part so soon and so close to them. Oddly because it has such good bones but not the right construction, it makes it so much more frustrating to me.

Personally, I disagree with people who say it's a hybridity that works because it really doesn't, at least not to me. And that brings me to my second issue with it: there is such a jarring lack of well executed transitions, not only from the songs actual structure aka opening introduction to verse to pre chorus to chorus to bridge and so on and so forth but also the tones or mood trying to be set with these swift and again, very glaring transitions. There's not very much gradient in how they switch up and it can leave your brain processing and trying to catch up to the softer more confidently casual -> "harder" more energetic mood or attitude this song is trying to shift and set from section to section. There IS an attempt, mostly in how the piano melody runs through out until the main chorus as the common thread to tie them together, but its not enough. This song is really bottom of the barrel for me on this album, and frankly I think it should've stayed in the vault until it was properly constructed. I owe Dem Jointz an apology cause this isnt even his doing, his doing is the next song and because THIS one comes before it, it already comes off as an improvement kajdifnfkfkks

Juice- ok so this is so funny to me because Juice does what Hard was TRYING to do. It sets up that kind of bad boy, cocky attitude nicely with its production and instrumentals nicely!! Its taking a 4th gen-esque sound and adapting to this group's strengths. Its transitions feel logical, and most of all well executed because Dem Jointz basically takes melodies from say the verse to the chorus and extends them before transitioning to their own individual identities, takes lush complimentary melodies and puts them in the background through longer playtimes between sections and create even more of a similar and expanding pallet etc. Other reason it works? Vocals are the highlight, rap elements are kept at a minimum and a lot of it is more sing talk than rap. The harmony highlight near the end just feels like the neatly tied ribbon on the gift box.

10X- Love love that this feels like a classic Shinee vocal journey with a punchier treblier beat and an emphasis on a piano driven simpler Jazz chord melody. This is in the pocket of their ultimate strength: making nostalgic even classic sounds and melodies feel fresh again. It's not super strong or super weak, it's just right for its placement in the tracklist.

Satellite- Something about this song bothers me, can't 100% pin what it is but it's not like irksome enough to not let me enjoy it, might actually be the end, the build up to the end feels like it doesn't end up having "pay off"?? Like say you're enjoying the party and someone suddenly switches on the light?? Idk but I do however like the lighter feeling she has and I enjoy the touch of disco/funk fusion in the chorus, especially with that guitar riff going through the whole song. It feels light heartedly melancholic, like being the throws of love and loving every minute of it.

Identity- She is my girl, she is it, she is for me!!!! I know some people are like she should be a title track, but she's not necessarily a strong radio play contender. She's a dark horse pop song in the best way. She is absolutely that rare b side that gets some air play a few times in its release month cause the disc jockey knows it's too good to ignore and makes whoever happens to be lucky enough to be listening in the moment google what song it is asap. What a fantastic dance track, she's groovy and sexy without being in your face about it cause she doesn't have to try hard. Also agree this could 100% be a Key solo track without question

Said I wasnt going to do it but fuck it, I'm giving the album a thorough listen right now. Thoughts incoming lol

[roseworth]

Rose Wilson (pre-flashpoint) Reading Guide :^)

hiiiiii i need everyone to love her and talk about her all the time

this isnt everything, this i just what i think you need to get a pretty good idea of who she is <3 if you want more this list has most of her pre52 appearances (EDIT: and i have a post-flashpoint reading list now too!!!!)

all the important issues for her story are in bold and my personal favorites are italicized. in all honestly you can skip a lot of the bolded ones but i WILL take it personally if you skip my favorites

Deathstroke v1 #15 (her introduction!!)

Deathstroke v1 #45-46, #48, annual #4, #51

New Titans #126

Titans v1 #27, #33, #37

Teen Titans v3 #0.5

Teen Titans v3 #8, #12

Batgirl v1 #64

Nightwing v2 #112-115

Nightwing v2 #117

Teen Titans v3 #34-35, #40-41, #43-46, #57, #60, #71, #88, #90-91, #98-100

Batgirl v2 #2-4

Titans v2 #13, Teen Titans v3 #70, Vigilante v3 #6

Teen Titans v3 #77-78

Faces of Evil: Deathstroke

Teen Titans v3 #72-76 & #79-82 (second feature)

now unfortunately i love to explain myself so i gave my reasonings for everything i put under the cut:

welcome to the annotated version <3

Deathstroke #15 - this tells the story of slade meeting lillian worth, rose's mom, and then shows rose for the first time <3 honestly this one doesnt do much for rose other than saying that she exists but it still matters

Deathstroke #45-46 - before this, rose is kidnapped and escapes but i didnt include that in the list because shes not doing much until these issues. but she has things to do in these and has great moments of lili trying to protect her. dont bother reading any of the actual deathstroke stuff because i do not care what hes up to

Deathstroke #48 - rose meets slade for the first time!!! it does not go well

Deathstroke annual #4 - shes not in this til the last few pages but i get the content of rose mourning her mother where i can bc it does not get brought up for like 20 years after this. also rose being a badass is always welcome to me

Deathstroke #51 - this one is almost entirely rose's pov!!! granted shes not exactly the center of the story but still! it also starts showing her meta abilities and precognition which is so slay of her

New Titans #126 - this is the first time she gets like. an actual personality. and its great. i lov her dynamics with the other titans and i love kyle and donna kind of trying to parent her. and also shows a little bit more of how she feels about her mom hehe. in the issue before this she puts a gun to someones head which i think is also worth reading that moment of her however. its a one page scene and it never gets brought up again so i didnt bother including it

Titans #27, #33, #37 - honestly i think that roses entire time nannying lian is worth reading but she doesnt do a Lot in each issue so i felt bad including the whole thing sdjafhadsf but she has scattered appearances from #25-39 and theyre all FANTASTIC. one of my favorite eras of rose for sure

Teen Titans #0.5  - this is her joining her father :( terrible hate kill but its a very important part of her story. also she has a random family here which ??? i mean sure i guess. love that everyone was playing hot potato with rose for like 10 years though

Teen Titans #8 - calls herself ravager for the first time so its kind of important. honestly though i wasnt even gonna include this at first but decided that it was important enough to throw in. shes only on the last page of this though

Teen Titans #12 - this is where she loses her eye (see: takes her own knife and stabs it out) so its pretty significant. also bart reaching out to her and trying to help her is sweet :) i dont really care about brother blood at all though so i didnt include the rest of this arc but it starts at #9 if youre really interested

Batgirl v1 #64 - this one is extremely biased im gonna be real. i just love batgirl 2000 and this issue was really good for both of them honestly, its the two of them fighting and does a good job showing rose's relationship with her dad during this time and showing her skills 

Nightwing #112-115 - this one was just so much fun. i wouldnt call it 100% in character but theres a lot of good stuff about rose wanting a family and its rly sweet :( its also hilarious to me and its so fun to read it

Nightwing #117  - leaving her father!!! she really only shows up on a couple pages here but you know. its pretty significant. 

GENERAL WARNING FOR TEEN TITANS: a lot of teen titans was written by geoff johns and. i dont know how to put it other than that hes VERY geoff johns about it. there are bits of misogyny and racism in pretty much every issue. even after johns stops writing it still has some extremely iffy parts. so just be warned :(

EDIT: since making this list i have made yet another list of her tt03 appearances and whether or not they should be read so u can check that out if you’re interested <3

Teen Titans #34 - her intro to the team!! talks a little about how she got there and what shes doing etc. also wlw hostility with cassie

Teen Titans #35 - this one originally wasnt even on the list because it comes with HEAVY disclaimers. this issue includes rose trying to rape tim, which i consider to be the worst moment in that entire book, and probably the most out of character thing rose has ever done. thank you geoff johns. HOWEVER this issue also has a lot of really nice moments with rose and eddie that i really enjoyed :( so just. disregard the first few pages if you read this

Teen Titans #40-41 - you will quickly find out that i am a sucker for rose and joey being siblings. in all honesty i know very little about joey but i DO know that he and rose have rly sweet moments in a lot of these

Teen Titans #43-46 - a lot of deathstroke stuff. mostly boring but rose does get to fight her dad here :) and also some more rose & joey moments. though do be warned as a cassandra cain fan these issues did send me flying into a blind rage because she is so out of character

Teen Titans #57 & #60 - precognition!!! rose being a badass!!! my love!!!!!! this is a good issue. it does go back on a lot of what its already gone over by saying "ooo rose is so murderous and dangerous!!" but. whatever. i like it when shes murderous. these are all part of an arc that goes from #56-60 if you want the full story but these two are the ones that rose has the most to do in. then #60 leads into Terror Titans which. um. was not good. very out of character for rose and just not an interesting story at all. but i mean if you want to read it she is in it

Teen Titans #71  - rose-centric issues my beloved hehe :) this issue is pretty good and sets off her story in the second feature starting in #72

Teen Titans #88 - rose rejoining the team!!!!! which i have mixed feelings on because it was clearly a "the writer wanted her there but didnt want to do the work to put her back so they just threw her in" situation which is fine i guess. it ignores a lot of whats already happened though :/ but!!!! lillian worth mention!!! woo!!!!

Teen Titans #90-91 - damian and rose's dynamic is so fucking funny and i love it. they are iconic together its amazing

Teen Titans #98-100 - final teen titans arc!! rose isnt specifically doing a lot but she does have some really good moments here. also she has an interaction with mia for like 2 panels so i need to cut those 2 panels out and frame them <3 but be warned. the writer was clearly going in the rose/conner direction for some reason which. um. hm.

Batgirl v2 #2-4 - ICONIC. i have issues with cass's characterization in this but rose is wonderful. she can be patricidal as a treat <3 shes planning ahead and shes a good fighter and shes murderous. what more do you need.

Teen Titans #70, Titans #13, Vigilante #6 - these are all part of a bigger crossover, Titans #12 and Vigilante #5 come before these but rose doesnt have anything to do there and i did not read them because i dont really care about the story of this one. but oh my god. this has some FANTASTIC rose & joey content. all of their interactions in this killed me esp the last part :(

Teen Titans #77-78 - oughghggogugughggh this one was so sad fr. i love it when rose tries to kill her dad but there were so many parts in this where i was full of pain. but also joey and rose moment hiiii !! but most importantly lili is revealed to be alive here!!! yippee!!!!

Faces of Evil: Deathstroke #1 - hiiiii im actually adding this one to the list nearly a year after i originally made it lol <3 but i love this issue so much and i cant believe i never added it. most of the reason i like it is because i like it when she commits patricide and like half of this comic is dedicated to her kicking his ass then getting her ass kicked. god i love her

Teen Titans #72-76 & #79-82 - FRESH HELL MY BELOVED <3 greatest rose story of all time <333 the writer is clearly weird about rose but who am i to judge. lots of good moments of her struggling with morality and finding out who she is and its a pretty good story and im pretty sure there was one part that made me cry

and there we go !! i know most ppl dont add their opinion to their reading lists however i mostly made this for my followers and i am the god of this list and i do what i want

[frosted-night]

Jack Frost Designs Review

Yes it’s finally his time. This is going to include his book designs including previous incarnations in said books. There are more movie concept designs than book so, let’s dig in shall we?

This was in fact the first ever Jack Joyce designed while he came up with The Guardians Of Childhood. He even comes with his own backstory! (Which was cut. Sorry Joyce posts walls of text so it’s a girthy read.)

So instead of a young mischievous trickster, we got a much more depressing story of Jack. (Jack by default is sad obviously) but this one... It kind of hits differently and almost reminds me of the story he crafted for Pitch. A dad who tried to defend his family but through tragic events was ripped from them and changed completely. Design wise, he’s a lot more tree than snow. There doesn’t exist a colored version of this so we’ll never know if he sported winter and dull dead leaf colors rather than grassy greens.This Jack has a weird presence to him, I can’t put my finger on it. Rating: 6/10 He’s really neat! Just a little too Autumn feeling rather than a blend of both Autumn and Winter.

Nightlight feels like the baby evolution if Jack was a pokemon and that's what I’m gonna stick with. Below is a more recent version of him colored.

In all honesty that one is easier on the eyes proportion wise because sometimes Joyce has ‘interesting’ anatomy choices but we aint going into that today. It’s interesting how his hair somehow looks shorter and longer than Jack’s at the same time. Could be because the longer strands float seamlessly but star boy hair physics what can ya do. It’s a little hard to tell what is his skin and what is his armor, so that is a casuality in making a character only have one or two colors in their color scheme. I love other artist’s depictions of Nightlight but the canon one feels a little weak color wise. Rating: 5/10 Sorry, get some better LEDs and then come back.

Here we have a book Jack but I can’t entirely recall if this was used in the books or not. I digress. This design looks like him still wearing very Nightlight-esque armor/clothing and slowly growing into his new persona as Jack Frost. The intricacies are hard to make out but we’ll work with it. This one is very interesting to me because he very much looks like an older teen close to young adult. His hair looks very fluffy too. Not many complaints about this one but not much praise either.

Rating: 6/10 Not great but doesn’t stand out that much.

Remember when I said Joyce had ‘interesting’ anatomy decisions? Jack looks like he has half a head here and it bothers me GREATLY. This is the adult Jack design he went with. Supposedly he likes the opera and he sure looks it. This! Exists!! Kind of wish it didn’t. The outfit is nice but it just doesn’t fit Jack as a whole. This just screams to me that it’s someone else with a similar-ish hairstyle.

Rating: 3/10 Guess he’d be the...Phantom Of The Opera. (I’ll go home and so should he.)

And finally the final Jack. This is the one that almost exactly resembles the Jack we got in the movies(Probably because it was made after the movie but w/e) but just add a cape on him. I can’t really tell if hes got a hoodie and a cape, or just a cloak+hood on top of a sweatshirt. It isn’t too important because my thoughts on this one are obvious. Rating: 10/10 Edna Mode would have a field day with you boy.

MOVIE DESIGN TIME

Joyce claims this is a design he drafted when Leonardo DiCaprio was considered to voice Jack and I can kind of see that with how his face is drawn here. This Jack looks a lot more like a warrior and less of that trickster look. I can’t say I’m a fan of the weird antenna his hood has but his sword is really cool looking.

Rating: 4/10 Nice bow and sword but it can’t save your fashion choices.

This looks like a lanky 11-13 year old who would put rocks or slugs in my shoes and relish in my disgust. He has the exact look of a snot nose kid and I’m unsure how to feel about it.

His various hairstyles drafted here sort of make him softer looking or just more of a snot nose, no in between. Maybe even an Anime Protagonist.

The top right one almost looks like Hiccup from How To Train Your Dragon if you squint. It’ll be a little hard to rate them all as one individual but why not.

Rating: 5/10 I don’t hate them but they aren’t my cup of tea.

AH- IS THAT A FUCKIN GREMLIN?

Oh wait no it isn’t he looks like a 10 year old. Whatever don’t feed him after midnight. The staff’s design of not being shaped like a G is an interesting tidbit but the whole design looks like he’s really young or like a troll etc. This Jack looks like he thinks girls have cooties uses outdated slang.

Rating: 4/10 This is me being generous.

It honestly looks like he hiked his pants up all the way to his chest. A late teen with horrid fashion choices once again. Not many other thoughts here.

Rating: 2/10 Get a sweater on or something.

This is one is very interesting looking to me. His clothes looked a lot more leather based and very human-like. The tatters, tears and frays all make him look like he was a victim of an accident that never changed his clothes. It makes me wonder if this Jack had the same death as the final movie Jack or something else entirely. Either way, this one looks like hes a mid to late teen which really adds to my intrigue.

This was another image that greatly resembled the design so I included it here. It almost looks like his skin is blue here which is pretty neat to me at least. He’s also got leaf motifs here, which from the first Jack design Joyce made, we can see a pattern here.

Rating: 8 /10 I was originally weirded out by his head but now its not so bad.

This Jack is definitely dressed more like a nature boy rather than him having human influenced fashion and it’s an appealing touch. The tiny leaf sprouting from his staff is also kind of cute since the designers seemed to want to put leafs somewhere on his designs. His hairstyle is also very cute but it reminds me of Sasuke Uchiha in a sense. (Not a setback for me at least)

Rating: 7/10 13 year old Jack is going thru a phase.

I thought this Jack didn’t show up again in story boards but I was wrong!

They look a little different from each other but just similar enough to pair together, so bare with me. The first one obviously has looser pants, slightly longer sleeves and got his leaf motif going. This second Jack is a VERY green. It gives the impression that this Jack made his clothes out of plants and natural materials. Again I’m not wholly sure if greens fit his color scheme but they sure went for it for a while. I can’t say I’m a fan of it because it heavily reminds me of Peter Pan.

However a very similar looking Jack could be found in this storyboard. It doesn’t look as green as the other storyboards made it out to be and looks more like dead grass. Which is a pretty nice touch.

Rating: 5/10 I don’t hate it but it just doesn’t vibe yknow.

Speaking of a vibe...hoo this certainly has one.  This Jack isn’t old but certainly doesn’t look very young, maybe in the 20-30 range, thats just me. He has facial features that remind me of Pitch but resembles the Jack Frost of Santa Clause 3

That being said, I wondered if him looking similar to Pitch was in the storyline of them being brothers.(Which was a scrapped thing, who knew.) He’s a bit more menacing in this design but certainly seems like he relishes in his work.

Rating: 4/10 I’d make it a lower score but I gotta give it props

NOW THIS JACK IS KINDA INTERESTING. This one looks like he’s 16 and going through a grunge phase. He’s gonna play Nirvana loudly and not turn it down even if you tell him too. His staff itself has mini icicles hanging off of it and leafs look stuck to his shirt. Did you glue or staple those on Jack? His hair also looks much longer than his other designs and I kind of dig it( Shut up I’m bias.) I’m not wholly sure why else this design has stuck with me but it just has something about it that I just love. I wish there was a full body drawing of it.

(He also kinda has the same hair as the Jack Frost in Runescape but I wont go on about that hoo hoo)

Rating: 9/10 *Bad Boy by Cascada plays in the distance*

This one definitely feels like middleschooler trying to be in a band. His sticks just resemble drumsticks to me what can I say. I’m a big fan of his shoes and his color scheme screams a hibernating tree in winter. His hair also looks like it’s covered in frost rather than it being wholly white, which is very neat!! He looks like he wants to fight but has slight hesitance. Overall a very balanced Jack.

Rating: 8/10 He’s ready for band practice

Not many thoughts here, I just found these tiny Jack designs cute. His hoodie being a jacket instead just adds to the charm of this one.

No talk to him he angy.

Rating: 6/10 fun sized boi

Now this Jack resembles the one earlier that dressed entirely in leather brown colors, however he clearly is different than that one. I’m gonna say it, he looks like a zombie or undead in this design and its pretty fucking gnarly. I don’t know whats going on with his hair but I’m gonna assume it’s just the wind making it look like that. He just has the vibe that he was once human but was turned into something else entirely. It isnt in uncanny territory but borders that. This version of Jack meeting Pitch and the others would have been *very* interesting. Rating: 7/10 Eat a twinkie Jack you’ll feel better.

The final design! I can’t complain much about this one. The way his staff subtly has a G shape and a hexagon(his signature shape) is a wonderful touch. Additionally, the way the frost is gathered mostly where his hand is such an intricate detail. His signature hoodie is iconic at this point so I can’t bad mouth that either.(I can’t anyway because there's no complaints from me here.) Although, I never understood the leather straps that his pants had or their functions. I couldn’t find any colonial outfits that resembled Jack’s pants so its a total mystery to me at least.

And I can’t go on about this design until I mention the snowflake pattern in his eyes

Pure beauty. It’s at a hue of blue that almost looks impossible to have, combined with the electric blue color of the snowflake in his eyes. The amount of detail in this movie amazes me to this day. Rating: One Great Blizzard <3/10

[thedollarstoresatan]

Rating Ikemen Games as i hear fireworks that sounds like guns outside of my house every 5 seconds:

First off and foremost.... The worst.

3. Ikemen.... Revolution

Ikemen revolution is definitely the worse out of the series. It takes a step down from Ikemen Sengoku even though it came out secondly and overall isnt that great of an experience.

Dont get me wrong, Ikemen Revolution was my first and favorite Ikemen game for a very long time, however the routes are repetitive of the same thing over and over again and i like almost none of the characters.

Since the routes are so repetitive it makes it hard to get through them if you've alreadly played a lot of routes and if you dont like the character its even worse.

Here's some good things in Ikemen Revolution though;

The characters actually have good conflicts and some (keyword; some) good character development!

I love Edgar's character development specifically, he went from feeling trapped and alone to being happy amd free and i generally really love some of the character developments.

How it handles money/gems, gacha tokens and other rarer things like that is a huge step up from Ikemen Sengoku and generally really enjoy it!

2. Ikemen Sengoku

Ikemen Sengoku has a lot of faults of its own, being the first of its series makes a lot of problems that are fixed in the later games.

However, even still its my second favorite out of the three.

The routes can get repetitive, however the character development and conflicts are enough to keep you going throughout the story.

In each route you get a different pov of the matter at hand and still get to decide whats right or wrong based off the decisions they give you

THE MC. I love the MC. MC is a goddess just like Shingen said. I love her immensely, her sass, her comebacks, and even internal thoughts are much that of an actual human being unlike REVOLUTIONS mc whos a basic bi-

It handles its coins situation quite badly since you yourself have to buy the coins unlile the latter two games, however luckily provides you with enough other items to not be a struggle.

Its opening screens being the events and forcing you to listen to the events isnt exactly nice but it isnt something that cant be ignored either

It generally is a really good game and id totally reccomend it to new players!

1. Ikemen Vampire

Ikemen Vampire is the last game in the series so far (in the eng. versions) and solves most of the other games problems

While the time limit for falling in love is only a month and like revolution MC falls in love in 5 days is annoying at points, but it generally feels like a lot of the time the suitor actually loves the MC unlike in a lot of revolution routes. (lancelot im looking at you)

Plus, the routes all have their all tinge of guilt and conflict. Comte throughout the routes slowly becomes more and more aware of whats happening, and it almost feels like he is living through each route and seeing everything.

i love and hate comte🏃🏻

The suitors are their own bag of dice but i find myself loving most of them, and even routes which i didnt like the character much abosolutely amazed me, for example; Vincents route i LOVED. I dont like "sunshine boys" much but i adored his route and now love him

So to put it simply; Ikemen Vampire made me like characters i never liked before

The routes can become repetitive however the characters are enough to keep me going through it all so i havent had any major issues

I would definitely reccomend this to first time players, its easy and so good and i love it!

------

Those were all my opinions on the rankings, but its up to you guys to decide for yourselfs! Feel free to leave your opinions in the comments 💃

[xenosagaepisodeone]

ok 3.0+1.0 longpost -_-

it’s difficult for me to describe how I feel about 3.0+1.0 as a film because it’s artistic vision is just a 25 year cultivated response to the otaku fixation on nge. this film hardly feels like it can stand on it’s own feet as a coherent story -- it’s constantly introducing and reinterpreting symbols, contexts and concepts in order to lay down some kind of grounded world while also wanting to be evocative of the freeform flow of feelings occurring in EoE/Ep25/26. if this movie was it’s own thing and just living in the shadow of it’s predecessor, I could probably live with it and maybe even say that I liked it, but it’s flip flopping on if it wants the metanarrative to drive the story or if it wants to erect a new mythology of Eva altogether completely squanders maximizing the potential of doing either. what were left with is a very cowardly iteration of the message at the end of nge -- “human connections are important, even if they can be painful” becomes “ if we show you what you wanted to see for the past nearly 30 years, will you grow up now?”

"Defeated" feels like how I would describe the ethos of this film.

reiQ’s farmer adventures were cute, but in a way that felt bittersweet- because this character is not actually rei. not simply because she is not ayanami, but because she carries no actual development from her previous iterations like the other characters of rebuild. reiQ answers the question of “what if rei was actually as moe as she looks in official art” but forgets to pull the rug out from beneath you to unveil the depths of her turmoil. while Ayanami would say “I am not your doll to control”, reiQ has almost every aspect of her character dictated to her by other people - and this is depicted as fulfilling and human (because Anno wants you to get a job and have kids). not even her name is her choice. her sudden death only exists to serve as a motivator for shinji. I wanted to believe that this was some commentary on how a relationship without pain and loss cant exist, but it seems unlikely as rei (1, 2, 3, Q, Ayanami, lilith, etc) does not have an arc in this film. also the TV production quality of the village segment made it feel like I was watching a 12 episode sol as opposed to an actual film.

funnily enough, my feeling towards reiQ made me feel retroactive distaste towards 1.0 and 2.22. I’ve never thought rebuild was good, that much has never been a secret. 1.0 and 2.22 however carried enough over from the original series that it felt like the original characters were picking themselves up and getting better. I was happy seeing asuka, who had previously spent 26 episodes and a movie being miserable, open herself up to happiness. I was happy seeing rei connect more with shinji. even if the characters had to become simplified versions of themselves to find their own peace, it didnt feel thatbad. I didn’t realize until 3.0 came out how little this tetralogy had to it beyond puppeteering iconography and hoping that fans find meaning in it. 3.0 and 3.0+1.0 carried the same conviction of 1.0 and 2.22 of showing you characters you like doing things you wished they did, but with the support of the original series environment withering away to unveil half baked ideas, convoluted plots and meaningless regurgitation of every meaningful image this series has produced. seeing rei stripped even farther than her bare bones as reiQ put into focus what I thought I appreciated about 1.0 and 2.22.

there were a few times throughout this movie where I was trying to figure out what it was that anno was trying to say. as stated in my op paragraph, the film does carry it’s own simplified message about how important it is to grow up and face the real world, but this message largely betrays the framing. its cowardly. the pain that shinji experience does not come from the Other anymore, it is all self inflicted. learning to endure hardship simply became a matter of overcoming your own feelings, because now everyone else in your life effortlessly accepts you. there are 3 girls with who dont have any problems anymore and a solarpunk empire that would be all over you if you simply stood on your own two feet. there is no asuka experiencing hedgehog dilemma with shinji, there’s only asuka who exists so shinji can learn how to confess to a girl. there is no misato constantly subjecting shinji to a interplay of projecting her issues onto him and attempting to mother him (with varying degrees of success), there’s just shinjis step mom who accepts that she is responsible for him (which feels GREAT to see but feels bad when you think about what it sacrificed to get there). for a guy whose complicated relationship with otaku culture has bled into his work, you would think that idealistic fantasy of the real world wouldnt be the crutch of the delivering his message. when I say that “defeated” is the ethos of this film, I mean that it is so lacking in purpose compared to its predecessors that it wears itself thin trying to superficially have something for every conceivable audience while throwing out the meat of why people liked those things in the first point.

I was surprised to see that it was gendo who survived as the most introspective part of the film. i’m conflicted towards how I feel about a gendo redemption arc, but I feel as if his instrumentality sequence itself was decently shot (I hate having to compare it to ep 25/26 but it lacks the artistic flare for such a big budget film) and very well articulated. there’s a beautiful story in here about realizing your parents are people and parents realizing the responsibility they owe to their children, but I wish it could have been explored in a different film where characters are less held back by their established canon. honestly watching this whole sequence made me wonder if anno is still friendly with goro miyazaki LMAO

I was largely uninterested in the fight scenes, I think the only one that genuinely made me feel something was the one towards the end where asuka turns into an angel. the poor fight choreography coupled with weird shot composition and the overbearing usage of cg makes fight sequences overbearing and kind of difficult to decipher. cg fights are largely 1 eva vs a swarm of enemies that take up the screen, all of them having the same line weight which just ends up making all parties involved look like a mesh of colors. there arent real stakes for the most part either, asuka and mari tear through waves of enemies with effortless precision accuracy in a way that isnt visually or technically impressive.

believe it or not, I don’t actually dislike Mari. Mari enacts what Anno sought to do with the Rebuilds -- to destroy Evangelion. Mari (literally!) falls out of the sky into the story and is not gripped by the pain of the hedgehog’s dilemma as she exhibits her adoration for most things. her romance with shinji is intentionally analogous to how anno perceives his relationship with his wife -- that she saved him by encouraging him to live in the real world. the actual, textual ridiculousness in her character is softened when you realize that she’s just another component of his 4 movie long exhibition of telling everyone his life is better now that he’s successful and has a hot and talented wife.

is it worth complaining about all the crotch or ass shots. i think we all feel the same way about it. anyway i have more thoughts but these are my loose ones.

[sporksaber]

Ok, I love the role swap concept with zuko and azula, but I feel like they switch their abilities and personalities a bit too and I think itd be more fun without that. Where Azula is an antisocial and unstable genius who wants to gain power and zuko still struggles with being the less powerful and extremely empathetic sibling. So here's how I'd do it.

(Note, this is just for fun. I'm not saying anyone else's version is bad. But I've though about this so much and need it out of my head before I go off cuz make a whole comic and I do not have the time, i need to work.)

First off, Azula wouldn't call out in concern for the men like how zuko did. In my version she's allowed into the meeting because of the aptitude for strategy shes shown. She speaks up because it's an inefficient plan that uses up too many resources when there are other options. This enrages her father and leads to the agni kai. Azula is terrified and feels betrayed but has no idea how to handle any of it. She fights back during the agni kai, but in her panic she sets off a bolt of lightning. Ozai finishes the match and severely burns on her lower back. Azula is banished for her use of lightning on the fire lord (bc ozai fears she will no longer be easy to manipulate and might plot his death) and is forced to leave the next morning.

Some things to note: azula is eleven at this point. I changed the placement of the scar bc I think zuko's is very symbolic in a way that doesnt suit azula. Zuko's scar being over his eye and close to the light chakra shows the way his view of the fire nation and honour obscures his vision and how he is unaware of the truth of the world under fire nation rule. I set azula's over her spine because that chakra is based on survival and blocked by fear. It also represents trust which will fit into her arc with the gaang. Finally, she doesnt have Iroh to guide her. One of the things that bothered me was Iroh writing her off as evil despite her being a mentally unstable child. She did have to be defeated, but the way he talked about it was too dismissive. (Personally I think he was projecting his views of his brother and his perceived failures with him onto her.) Azula isnt sent to capture the avatar so she isnt given soldiers. She's completely alone without an advisor to look to or keep her calm.

Azula is given a manned ship with a disgraced soldier and an attendant when she leaves. The way I see it the soldiers zuko had were probably more irohs than his. The soldier is relieved to not be executed but hates being demoted to playing babysitter to a child at sea. The attendant views it as a punishment and hates Azula for it. Eventually the attendant will betray her and be killed for it. Azula never trusted the soldier and he eventually leaves to start a family in an earth kingdom colony. Azula doesnt miss him, he was no longer useful. The loneliness does get to her though.

Azula is obsessed with getting the underhand, so she had been successfully building connections and planting spies where needed.

(Zuko has been acting as a respectable crowned prince. He holds a zealous loyalty to his nation and father. He still faulters as Iroh tries to steer him from tyranny, but his sights are set on his father's approval and that alone. Afterall, if his prodigy could be discarded who's to say what would happen to him if he failed?)

This brings us to the start of the series. Like Zuko Azula witnesses the trap on the old fire nation battle ship go off. She investigates and finds that an air bending avatar is living at the south pole village. She decides she wants to speak with him.

Azula didn't believe the avatar existed before this point. Hiding didnt add up to her knowledge of the morality of airbenders, so she assumed the air nation avatar from the start of the war would be dead. She would know if one had appeared in the water tribe, as the south had all its benders killed and the north was compacted so close together it would be impossible to hide. Earth would be harder, but they were most likely to fight back and out act. And if in ba sing se they'd be used as a weapon or gotten rid of to preserve the peace of the city. Once the culcle progressed to the fire nation it would either be used to take over the other nations or enf the cycle for good. After all, there hasn't been an air bender for a hundred years even if the rumors of some acolytes surviving were truthful.

Azula kidnaps aang with far more ease than she should of been able to. Once he stops struggling she calmly offers him tea and promises to release him once their discussion is finished. He takes the tea and drinks it without question and besides a wary glare shows no more hostility. She thought him a fool, the tea could have easily been poisoned and promised are nothing but words. His naivete makes her job easier though.

She finds out that he was suspended frozen in the avatar state the last 100 years. And so, Azula informs him of the war and the fire nations crimes, advising him to master the elements if he wants to prevent all his new friends and the avatar cycle from certain destruction. Aang is conflicted, he never asked for any of this. Azula just gives a bitter smile. "The hands of fate were never designed to take requests, they move without regard to any life dependent on it. Dont waste your breath when there is nothing you can do."

Azula wants to see Ozai fail. If helping the avatar is what it takes then so be it. When his friends appear to save him she let's them leave without a fight. Theyll be useful in the future.

As the gaang's travels kick off she sets out to find out if the rumours about the acolytes are true. In this she finds a traveling circus. The youngest daughter and an old friend of hers was eager to escape and found Azula's life exciting. She didn't hesitate after being invited along, insisting that traveling would be easy for her and that she'd pull her own weight.

She encounters the gaang a few times as time goes by. The relationship is reluctant on the water tribe siblings part, they dont trust her and hold a decent amount of fear towards her. Her cold and calculating demeanor was unsettling, but the unhinged way she fought was terrifying. Her form was perfect and her attacks were precise, but the bigger the fight the more lost she became as she laughed and shrieked and occasionally snapped at someone who didnt seem to be there. The only worse reaction was when she zeroed in on one opponent, picking them apart both mentally and physically as she drove them to the ground. )

Things that'll happen as I move through an episode list:

Azula doesn't have her ship attacked do she diesnt run into zhao while doing repairs, instead going straight to ty lee.

Azula learns that the gaang is on kyoshi island and heads ther after them. She has been keeping track of the avatar as they move. Ty lee gets along well with the kyoshi warriors while azula buts heads with them. They dont want her there and azula hates it when people get in the way. Zhao appears to try to capture aang and Azula dips at the same time as the gaang. She tells ty lee she can stay but she insists on sticking with azula. This puts her on edge.

Ty lee gets captured by earth benders, when she escapes on her own she cements her usefulness to Azula.

They run into zhao trying to capture the avatar and azula tells him she'll capture him first. They both attack aang during the solstice, though azula's attacks are all purposefully set to miss and trip up zhao as much as possible. Aang is the best way to prove her father wrong and she's not going to lose that.

They rob the pirates that try to capture the avatar. Azula needs the resources and it gives her leverage over the gaang.

After almost killing ty lee for scaring her by popping up behind her Azula tells her why she was banished. (In more of a "my own mother thought I was a monster" way than an opening up about trauma way.)

Azula learns that zhao has captured aang and frees him. She then sets to reworking her information network as not all of them are scared enough of her to not fail her. She remedies it quickly.

Azula learns that zhao is plotting her assassination and decides it's the perfect moment to fake her death.

Azula enters the north pole to defeat zhao and gain any information she can. Ty lee rades a library during the confrontation. Zhao is surprised and infuriated to see her alive, Azula smiles as she sends him to his death knowing that she is not only helping the avatar but also that he gave her a perfect way to hide from the fire nation. (When news of his sisters death reaches hum, Zuko doesnt know what to think. She was always cruel to him, but she was still his little sister.)

The crown prince of the fire nation is sent to capture the avatar. Azula follows him as he begins his search. (Zuko begins to think he's going insane as he keeps catching glimpses of his recently deceased sister out of the corner of his eye.)

Ty lee keeps running into a girl she slowly befriends. She's gloomy and sarcastic and ty lee thinks Azula would like her. (Zuko's fiance Mai tells him that she thinks his sister is still alive.)

As Azula notices ty lee become more and more distracted as she absorbed herself into the cultures that surround them she decides it's best for them to split up. Ty lee diesnt agree, but Azula leaves anyway. She has work to do.

While traveling alone Azula cant escape the thoughts of her mother. Of her fathers betrayal. Of the life she lost because the idiot elders had no grip on proper strategy that even a child could create. She meets a boy that reminds her far too much of zuko with a mother far to similar to theirs. When she sends the bandits controlling the town running she knows it's more than just controlling a territory that compelled her. But at the same time she doubts not following through on the whim would have bothered her.

Ty lee meets toph and chat for a bit. Ty lee tells her about azula and how she left. When toph tells her she should forget her she insists that azula didnt really ditch her and that they're still friends. They talk about their friends and childhood.

Ty lee finds Azula and immidiently jumps at her, which she does not enjoy. Ty lee insists that she still wants to travel with her and Axula sighs as she let's her tag along to the next location, ba sing se.

Azula slips through guards and protocols as she tries to gain any information she can to help her once they reach the city. Ty lee befriends a guy named jet and his group, the freedom fighters. When he tries to get more than friendship she turns him down and it becomes much more awkward.

Ty lee becomes a street performer and chames everyone she meets as Azula researches the dai lee and how they keep control. After lashing out in frustration ty lee drags her out to enjoy the city's night life.

Azula learns of the presence of the avatar and location of appa. She frees him and sets to work taking control of the dai lee. She let's herself be briefly captured but her plan shifts when katara is thrown in with her. Katara is pissed just being around her and azula plays up a cool kind of annoyance. Katara briefly catches sight of the burns on Azula's back and offers to heal her, only for Azula to freak out and yell at her to stay away, backing against a far wall in a fighting stance. They are saved by the rest if the gaang and ty lee shortly after.

Azula goes back to try and salvage her plan only to be caught off guard by the appearance of her brother and his offer to return to the fire nation. Not willing to lose all possible advantages, she agrees. They battle the gaang, and when they are almost captured azula sends a bolt of lightning at aang, causing them to retreat. Katara can heal him more easily than she can maneuver them out of an execution.

Azula returns to the fire nation with her brother, mai and ty lee, starting the beginning of a large power play between her and her father. They are sent to lo and li beach house. The relationship between the siblings is tense, zuko has always been the child born with nothing who gained everything when his blessed at birth sister lost it all. Azula has always been cruel, but he cant help but let his heart catch on the moments when she's not. ("My own mother thought I was a monster, My father thought i was too difficult to keep around" "Don't let their words blind you, you need to be more careful, zuzu." "I learned the hard way to never turn your back to anyone, and the scars will always be there as a reminder if I need it." )

Azula runs into iroh, who is very disapproving of her presence. He warns her to stay away from zuko and to watch herself while at the palace. Later, zuko comes to her asking about their great grandfather. Upon being pressed he admits that he was sent a mysterious letter. He thought she was going to burn it when he handed it to her but instead the heat from the fire revealed a hidden ink. "Honestly brother, did you ever pay attention at all during lessons?" They find a autobiographical scroll of their great grandfathers life and the secret that their other great grandfather was roku. Azula scoffed at the idea of bloodlines deciding fate and quickly left. But Zuko remained conflicted.

During the day of the black sun Azula confronts Ozai. As iroh and Zuko fight the avatar. She learns that her mother left for zuko's sake and that she was never going to be fire lord. Azula tells him she'll be somthing even better and leaves the palace.

Azula and ty lee follow the gaang to the western air temple. Katara immidprntly attacks but is quickly rendered unable to bend by ty lee. Azula tells them that the only way for them to of gotten out was for Aang to be incapacitated, and she knew katara could heal him. Aang decides they can stay but have to stay distanced from everyone else.

Azula tries to teach aang fire bending but is slowly growing sick while aang is barely able to produce a puff of smoke. Unable to sleep and constantly on edge, it soon affects her bending, sending her spiraling as she loses control on the only consistent power she's ever had. Her and aang journey to find the true source of fire bending to try to help their conditions.

Still sick, Azula is itching to do anything away from the temple. Finding sokka trying to reach the boiling rock to find his father, she decides to go with him as she knows the prison well. Sokka declines but she goes anyway. They dont find his father, but they do find suki. Azula formulates a plan but they postpone when sokka's father arrives.

Azula comes up with a new plan, now reluctant to include sokka. He tells her to trust him but she insists she has no reason to. Her sickness has been getting worse and he tells her she needs to trust him, making her angry. Only when he catches her while they're escaping dies she finally begin to accept trusting him, if only slightly.

(While they're away ty lee tries to convince

Azula goes with Katara to find the man who killed her mother. Azula has no concept of why katara is so upset, which causes her to get angry. But azula tracks the man anyway.

Ember island players- azulas character has the scar across her chest. She's absolutely insane and "not entirely inaccurate, but I'd never come up with such a dumb plan." Shes also heavily implied to be more than close to ty lee, which azula has no reaction to even as the others freak out.

I havent decided the ending, zuko will probably turn to the gaang's side. I'll add more later and maybe write or illustrate a bit.

[ahwait-no-yes]

so basically my friend told me today about her dream she had that involved a demon and of course my mind went “...SAIOU AU”

here’s our convo so it makes sense:

if I had the motivation i would DEFINITELY write a fic about this- the fluff/crack/angst potential is t h e r e

and as a bonus doodle,

story is under the cut (it’s long)

“I was gonna keep this in tags but hsdf;j” is what I originally wrote here until I started thinking about this more and sorta wrote the whole plot-

-> as ouma’s killing the other monster things he flirts with shuuichi while the poor demon has never been flirted with so he’s stood there all confused and ??? (his version of blushing would be like, the fire coming from his small horns gets bigger and brighter)

-> the one he summons ends up being like. kaede and they both just end up having to lecture shuuichi on why it is that he should not want to die so easily

-> eventually kokichi and kaede wanna give him a hug so they try to but shuuichi’s Extra Hot™ (from being a demon and also probably blushing) so they both immediately regret that choice but kokichi laughs and gives an obligatory pun about shuuichi being hot which only confuses him because ‘of course im hot?? im a demon??’ while kaede explains what ouma meant

-> imagine shuuichi crying (fire tears..) at the generosity of these two strangers who a) aren’t absolutely terrified of him, b) refuse to hurt him and c) actually *want* to help him and ouma actually inwardly understanding a little bc he’d never imagine someone actually wanting to be with himself either

-> saihara now wanting to know what it’s like to live as a human with ouma and akamatsu but being unable to find a way (except for maybe being undercover?) but promising he’ll bring ouma back to him (he’s aware of the whole aging phenomenon in the lil demon world so he wants to keep their time short) and ouma finding that now he has something to look forward to

-> the 👏 mutual 👏 pining 👏 that commences after they both have to leave each other (if kaede knows kokichi in the real world she’d definitely tease him a little knowing he has a crush- this is probably good potential for building oumaede friendship)

-> it takes a while before ouma and saihara can see eachother again because getting the two to escape without killing saihara exerted a lot of energy on him, but they do get to! about once a month to be safe, and they get to know stuff about eachother like which shops ouma likes to steal from and shuuichi’s really loud demon friend he once had (aka momota)

-> one day though saihara tells ouma that if he keeps doing this he’ll die of exhaustion (it takes a lot of energy from saihara to get ouma in and out of there) and ouma calling him an idiot but really being worried. saihara tells him not to worry about him even if something happens to him, and makes ouma go back to the real world

-> ouma doesn’t hear from him after that

-> he worries he might have been killed or saihara forgot about him and feels stupid for being so hopeful in something so childishly impossible and starts trying to forget about him

-> the real world is aware of demons cause people talk about them (and obvs you can tell when someone’s gone to their.. dimension thing because you can visibly see them age) so still denying that he’s curious and likes saihara still, ouma tries to go to libraries and do his own research on demons and ends up finding out that saihara specifically comes from a bloodline that makes him quite powerful if not for that he wouldnt want to take the risks that come with it and then lowkey gets excited again for saihara while still in ✨denial ✨

-> it’s been almost a year when saihara has enough energy (and more) to ensure that his new plan is successfully carried out and that ouma (and potentially 1 more..) gets back to the real world safely. he created this plan when he figured out how to exist in the real world- by sacrificing the thing he cares most about

-> so when ouma suddenly gets that off-feeling people get when they’re leaving the real world he feels very many emotions at once (giddily going ”ohh my god its not this it cant be this no way oh heck tthisis not happening not a chance”) until he sees the face he’s been waiting 4 months for again except this time it looks.. frighteningly cold

-> ouma’s instincts are screaming at him that something is very, very wrong here especially when he can’t hear any warmth when saihara says “Welcome back, Ouma. It’s your final time” and explains the whole ‘kill these monsters then kill me’ thing again

-> ouma’s confusion inevitably turns to annoyance as he kills the dudes (there appears to be a lot more than there was last time) and fires questions at saihara (‘is this saihara?’ ‘what happened to you??’ ‘do you even remember me?’) while saihara stays silent for the whole time thinking about how he really doesn’t want to be doing this. 

-> eventually ouma decides he was wrong (again) to have put his faith in a guy- a demon- he only met once a month.. even if said demon gave him something to look forward to

-> when he finally gets to saihara alone he internally notes that saihara cant look him in the eye, but he finally speaks to tell ouma that now either himself or ouma will now die (saihara knows this is for sake of the sacrifice, but he can’t let ouma know else it won’t work)

-> ouma refuses to fight him again, expecting saihara to snap back into the meek demon from a year and some months ago, but rather than that happening saihara actually says something like “if you won’t kill me, I’ll have to kill you” and swings at him

-> even if ouma was on his full guard, he still would’ve been surprised by how strong saihara actually could be when he tried to fight- and of course saihara can’t stop now that he’s started but ouma hears the hesitation when saihara asks “are you going to kill me yet?” and gets annoyed that the whole time he spent with him and even akamatsu meant nothing. saihara smiles sadly knowing he’s achieving his goal but ouma thinks he’s smiling at the thought of dying and gets somehow even more annoyed

-> during their whole fight, insert “I’m alone, Ouma, and I will always be” line from saihara, “No amount of talking can convince me otherwise, Ouma. I’m sorry it took so long, but it was foolish of you to trust a demon you met only once” or something and yes it hurts saihara too but ouma’s staying silent and before saihara can continue, ouma fires back with “You’re right- you are meant to be alone. You were always meant to be that kind of guy” and stops dodging to start finally attacking- this is when saihara knows he’s pretty much achieved his target: sacrificing ouma’s trust in him

-> just as ouma swipes at him, saihara’s lil spell thing is activated that takes saihara back to the real world, disguised so people don’t see him as a demon. but now ouma thinks he’s just killed saihara (I just attacked him. and he is gone. i dont know what that light was but i must have just killed him. oh my god im a murderer.”)

-> saihara hiding in the forest to do the lil spell thing again but on ouma (all the time he spent saving on energy was worth it) so ouma gets transported to the real world too and immediately runs to tell akamatsu everything that happened

-> saihara trying to find to blend in with humans from what he remembers of how they act but he doesnt need to particularly eat he just needs a heck ton of sleep so he basically just lives in the forest now. he’s very sensitive to water so he actively stays away from it too (it wont kill him but it does make him sick). he’s still feverishly warm but not scalding and he also decides to work at a store to fit in more

-> ouma regretting what he did to saihara even though saihara hurt him first and realising he misses him

-> saihara ends up accidentally bumping into him at the store he works at that ouma conveniently steals from a lot (”Ouma, you’d make a good demon” “Nishishi! What do you mean? I’m a perfect little angel!”) and saihara gasping when he notices ouma’s unforgettable purple hair and cute smile.

-> ouma finding something familiar about this awkward new staff with the cute face and deciding he’ll visit the shop more often to see this stranger and not because said stranger might help him get over his demon crush

-> then they get to know eachother again for the 2nd time, and as much as this guy is really cute, he clearly knows more than he’s letting on... so of course ouma’s gotta now pay even more attention to him. just so he knows what the guy’s hiding. not cause he wants to know him.

-> one day saihara is sick from trying to protect himself from the rain (cause yk, water bad) so he stays in the forest instead of coming in to focus his energy on getting better and also not blowing his cover. ouma notices he isnt there on that day and asks other staff members where he lives and they’re all like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

-> it rains quite a bit after that, inevitably making saihara even more sick and in turn needing time away to himself, so ouma starts getting worried when saihara stops coming to work

-> saihara really wants to see him though, so one day he tries to drag himself to work in a terrible state where he’s actually almost cold for once and collapses after trying to run to ouma. ouma sees him and tells his manager he cant work nd takes him home himself where saihara wakes up confused

-> ouma lecturing saihara because he worried him and the way he fell reminded him of.. someone (demon shuu).. then he asks vague questions to saihara about if he’s ever met a demon and half-confesses to having met one himself multiple times and ending up falling in love and then probably killing them

-> saihara, in his tired state, tells him his story of how he was raised to believe he had no purpose other than to meet someone who would kill him, eventually finding that person but instead of looking at him with fear or anger he looked at him with admiration and playfulness, how the guy meant to kill him refused to and flirted w him instead. ouma has probably clicked on by this point but saihara continues to tell him he wanted to protect that guy with the power he had so he took time away from his first ‘job’ to find out how to be with him. saihara is probably shaking at this point while he continues telling him about how he found out he had to sacrifice the most important thing to him, so he “went and had a terrible argument with him one day and i ran away. but i’ve never stopped looking for him since, he showed me that even a demon like me can fall in love” (there’s the ✨grand confession ✨)

-> ouma saw it coming from the moment saihara started speaking, but that didnt stop him from being utterly paralysed. of COURSE saihara has to say “When I said you’d make a good demon I really wasn’t lying. Your hand is so warm it could fool even me” which possibly makes ouma completely combust before absolutely bolting out the door and calling akamatsu to tell her to get to his house (”AKAMATSU-CHAN I’M GONNA DIE RIGHT NOW IF YOU DON’T GET HERE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT THIS SECOND”)

-> while waiting for kaede, shuuichi explains that he needs to be Warm™ and immediately holds kokichi’s hold again, while the other’s having a gay panic.. and he doesnt know how to feel because on one hand, his beloved demon is.. right here, in the ‘flesh’, holding his hand, telling him he fell in love with him.. but on the other hand, that doesnt excuse the confusion and hurt he put him through back then, not being able to see him for a whole damn year.. 

-> ouma ignores all the feelings when akamatsu arrives where she’s brought water and blankets (just in case- i feel like shes the kind of friend who would do that) so saihara takes the blankets and ouma takes the water and she calms them both down and gets them to explain everything slowly and in their own time. its awkward esp for ouma who isnt particularly close with her, but they manage it in the end

-> they decide shuuichi literally cant live in the forest so of course now he has to live with ouma but akamatsu offers to help if it ever gets too much for ouma which obviously ouma denies. she leaves soon and its just them but ouma needs some time to himself to clear his head and he only returns late to see saihara asleep clinging onto akamatsu’s blanket with his life lmao so ouma sighs and brings him more. and if he kisses the sleeping demon’s forehead, nobody has to know

-> ofc its still very much awkward and it takes ouma getting used to having even just another presence in his home, let alone his sort-of-unofficial-demon-bf and saihara’s still sleeping a lot of the time but recovering

-> they probably establish their feelings for eachother properly when they’re more mentally prepared for it, and then 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨 (they kiss) and are now actually legally boyfriends. i absolutely cannot let this end in angst so they’re happy and love eachother now yay the end

nngl. i talked about this with that same friend and I lowkey want to start writing an actual fic for it now that ive written... literally the entire plot, but if i do that it probably wont be out for a while bc i take 10 years to write lmao-- plus i hardly ever finish what i start so uh yeah.. but hopefully! im not even good at writing fic this is just the plot but yello

[windowhateswildworks]

why you should play ajpw

ok so i know a lot of classic players like playing aj classic for nostalgia and because they dont like the artstyle as much of ajpw, and i was one of those for a while. however... this post is to maybe bring to light some stuff that i think makes ajpw fun and worth playing despite some of the minor downgrades from classic.

REGULAR UPDATES!!! this is probably the biggest reason aj classic players get bored of it and it was how i was as well. aj classic doesnt often get updates with new features and such, but ajpw gets frequent updates with new animals, new features like nightcycles and weather patterns, and items as well.

the vast majority of features and items are nonmember. it always stressed me out when my membership was ending on classic, since without membership you lose access to a lot of the game, but with ajpw most features are nonmember. you dont lose access to your dens or animals or pets when you lose membership status, and its more like a "pay once if you want this particular den/animal/pet" kind of thing.

pack runs. every month there is a different themed pack run, where you basically have to join other players and collectively search for little items or animals, like fireflies. when you collect enough, you get rewarded with armor sets as prizes. they are very fun and i like to zone out while playing a few every day. and no you dont need friends to do this, you can do it alone, or theres always random people waiting around looking for players to help them out in a run.

pets. this one is a general category because theres so much interesting stuff to do with pets in ajpw. first of all, i love how the pets run behind you instead of following exactly along like theyre part of your character model in aj classic. they kind of hop behind you and do their own pathfinding which is adorable. also, you can play with them and level them up, and put them in your den to have them walk around in a small area around where you placed them. they also can interact with objects in your den if you get their special toys, which every pet has 3 of. its super cute honestly and rn there are pet bees available which cost gems and not sapphires so def get them while theyre here.

surprisingly nice items and character models. they have snakes and shit and armor somehow still looks alright on them. idk how they did it. but anyway yeah the character models are really cute and have satisfying walk cycles that are fun to watch and use. and they have a bunch of armor sets that are honestly really good looking such as the dna armor set and the shadow armor set. armor sets also give you unique particle effects when you wear the whole set at once

a desktop app, and way less hacking. i know many people are put off by the fact that ajpw is mainly a mobile game, but it does have a desktop version that runs just fine with almost no lag and less problems with hacking than classic. seems like every week classic has a new issue with hackers, but mobile has been pretty stable which is nice.

and LAST BUT NOT LEAST..... if you join with an old aj account that hasnt used ajpw before, you get 500 free sapphires (a fucking LOT), a couple of free animals, and a free den that im pretty sure isnt in stores. honestly a sweet deal imo so if you have an old account it might be worth just checking out.

so check it out :) it sort of gives me the same nostalgia feel as being a kid and logging in on thursday to see what the new update would be, without the depressing atmosphere of a childhood playplace that is falling into disrepair. also i want friends to play it with so pls im so desperate

[chat-noir-always-here]

Marinette and Anxiety

First, lets count all the things Marinette has that Adrien doesn’t have:

She has a healthy and positive home environment

Both of her parents are living, active presences in her life

Tom and Sabine love Marinette unconditionally

On top of having loving parents she has extended relatives who care deeply for her

she is allowed to go out and have friends over

going to public school is treated as a necessity rather than a privilege

she has, to some degree, or at least more so than Adrien, knowledge of socializing and is able to perceive signals better

she is on good terms and has a history with almost all of her classmates

she is allowed to explore her hobbies

she is allowed to choose her own occupation 

she has the freedom to do whatever she wants with her schedule outside of school and curfew

I could go on but I trust my point is clear? Marinette is blessed with many of the things Adrien has been denied. Worse, everything listed above falls under the category of “normal” “common decency” or “necessity.”

Long post is long and I don’t like cuts because I’ve lost a few posts in the past using them. Please filter the tag “long post” i use it for walls of texts like this one.

But Mari’s life, despite being vastly different and more fulfilling than Adrien’s, isn’t perfect.

In order to understand Mari’s struggles we need to take a look at her history.

We see in Origins that Marinette has been the target of Chloe’s bullying for a long time—three years or perhaps even longer. As is the case with many victims of bullying she lacked the courage and confidence to stand up for himself and more or less suffered in silence until Alya encouraged her to fight back.

Something to understand about bullying: it drastically warps someone’s perspective. Not only in how they view themselves but the people and environment around them. The end result? Some form of isolation and possibly PTSD. Bullying victims tend to be either physically/mentally withdrawn, or both.

Not a lot is known about Mari’s life before the Origins episode, but given that none of her classmates stood up to Chloe except Alya, we can infer that they have grown accustomed to Chloe’s treatment of Mari and are likely not especially close with her at this point in time. 

In her “In defense of Chat Noir” video, Toon Ruins states that Adrien isn’t especially close with his classmates yet either, saying he is “that friend that your mutual friends invite along and is just kinda there.” Its not unreasonable to presume that Mari was in that spot before she became Ladybug, befriended Alya, and developed enough confidence to stand up for herself as well as others.

It would also help explain why her friends were so quick to doubt her when Lila accused her in the Ladybug episode. Despite everything she’s done for them between Origins and Ladybug, they simply haven’t been close for very long and as Alya pointed out the evidence “was stacked against her.” Of course Alya and Adrien believed her because they are closer with Mari than practically any of her other classmates.

Adrien glaring at Lila when Marinette calls out to him for help. I cannot~~~~

Of course there was another, more obvious reason they doubted her: her feelings for Adrien and how intense she is when acting on them, which as Alya puts it served as her supposed “motive” for “hurting Lila.”

Marinette has often been seen crossing lines that are better off left uncrossed when it comes to Adrien. Her friends, especially the girls, are even somewhat aware of how intense these feelings are. (i.e. Alex’s comment during Gigantitan “Marinette knows a lot about Adrien it’s kinda creepy”).

More often than not, Mari wants to go somewhere mainly for the sake of seeing Adrien. Examples of this are when she’s supposed to wait for Nadja to come pick up her cake and during Simon Says when she is grounded for valid reasons . Often times there is some obligation involved—her promise to show up at Alix and Kim’s challenge and her promise with Nino in Simon Says—but chances are if Adrien weren’t there she wouldn’t want to go so bad (until an akuma showed up that is).

Something to understand about this: Mari has little to no opportunity to see Adrien. Worse, her history of being bullied and her previous status as an “acquaintance” rather than a “close friend” gives her at least some modicum of understanding about his situation. She empathizes with Adrien and cares for him, and is aware of his loneliness. During her life before Ladybug she likely longed for someone who would comfort and console her, and yeah probably found some relief with her mom given how Sabine seems aware of Chloe’s treatment of her daughter.

 But Adrien has no one, and knowing that makes Mari all the more anxious when he doesn’t show up for their social gatherings as well as driving her desire to be the source of love and comfort he so desperately needs.

I won’t deny Mari literally breaking the law for Adrien isn’t okay. Sneaking into his home, stealing his phone, and kissing his statue (its a statue in an important museum. Chances are you’re not supposed to touch those, let alone kiss them) are simply NOT OKAY things to do. A lot of this behavior earns her some hate from the fandom and some well-deserved scolding from Tikki. But rather than making me hate her, or call her a stalker, I’m mostly concerned that she doesn’t understand how bad that is. 

But Chat Blanc was a game changer. Adrien would NEVER have seen Ladybug in his room if she hadn’t taken her sweet time inspecting his belongings, smelling his pillow, etc. Meaning Adrien could have had her present and not known about Ladybug (he may have been curious as to how Mari’s gift got past security though). 

However since Marinette WAS seen by Adrien, he was able to learn her secret identity which led to this:

This is a scenario she never expected. And as she learns this was caused by her own poor judgement, she wastes no time in saving Chat Noir, erasing her name from her gift and allowing Adrien to believe it’s a gift from his Brazilian fan club instead of from her, Marinette.

Chat Blanc was one of the last episodes of s3. Safe to say she probably won’t be breaking into anything anytime soon (theres some debate over the chronological order of the episodes, but if I recall this one takes place either in the last four or five episodes on most lists). She nearly lost her kitty for good after all--that’s not a price she’s ever been willing to pay.

This likely wouldn’t have happened at all except Mari’s life as ladybug has caused her to become accustomed to certain behavior in order to keep her secret. Yeah Mari stole Adrien’s phone right out of his locker—and no that wasn’t okay. But remember when she stole her textbook back from Alya? Taking it right out of her bag when Alya wasn’t looking? Just so you know, in the French version, Mari tells Tikki she wrote her name in that textbook. So her secret identity was in grave danger and she had to act quickly.

You’re damn lucky Alya didn’t crack that book open the minute she got it, Mari.

Anyhoo the point is this: Mari is applying what she has come to know as “acceptable behavior i do to protect my secret identity” to her situation with Adrien and misinterpreting it as “acceptable behavior I do to keep Adrien from possibly rejecting me and crushing my soul.” And in her head, they’re similar even though the consequences of either secret coming out are vastly different.

Really think about the context of that voicemail she sent Adrien—if she had accidentally butt dialed Adrien while taking to Tikki about her life as Ladybug and then had to go steal his phone to keep him from learning the truth the fandom wouldn’t have had nearly as much beef with her over that as she wasn’t the one who created the “secret identities rule.”

The reason the two secrets are equally crucial in keeping, in Mari’s mind, is likely due to her overwhelming anxiety. Which even before she became the Guardian of Paris and then the Guardian of Miraculous she was still an anxious person.

She didn’t have much confidence or even a large support network. But in the span of one day she was entrusted with the safety and well being of every single person in Paris.

She didn’t believe she was cut out for being Ladybug but was denied the option of refusing the position and told to just do her best.

She knew going out she would likely screw up the job and given her task failure wasn’t really an option.

Then her worst fears were realized when she failed to capture her first akuma and many citizens were turned into stone statues. The only way to turn them back was to allow Ivan to be akumatized so she could defeat him and take his akuma. The very knowledge of which crippled her and caused her to give up the ladybug earrings.

She tried to go back to her normal life but couldn’t. Ivan was akumatized, Alya’s life was in danger and Chat Noir was struggling to the point he got captured and needed her help. So she took up being Ladybug again in order to help them.

What was she supposed to do? Watch?

From the very beginning she had no say in the matter. Her life as Marinette wasn’t and isnt easy—she has plenty of her own problems but she was given a Miraculous and basically condemned to being at war with Hawk Moth indefinitely.

Ever give a thought as to why the French government allow these two vigilante teenagers to handle the situation? Because ordinary people can’t. In other words if Mari thought only of herself she would give up the fight and ignore all the ensuing damage. But she can’t. And she won’t. She has a job to do. She could give up her miraculous but that would mean taking the pressure off her shoulders and dumping it all onto someone else just as it was dumped onto her. She cant bring herself to do that and even if she could—who would she possibly give it to?

Just imagining that kind of pressure makes me want hurl from nerves. And as of the S3 finale its gotten worse as she has lost Fu, the person who could give out Miraculouses to other people in case she never comes back one day.

Hawk Moth would win. Game over. That’s what it would mean.

Ladybug and Chat Noir know what Hawk Moth winning would mean better than anyone else does. Of course they won’t walk away from this fight. But that means they have to juggle their double lives until its over, and apparently have to do it again with a second hawk moth later on in the future.

And again, even before all of this Mari had a lot she suffered from. Chloe bullying her, feeling lonely, being clumsy. Clumsiness is mortifying--it truly means suffering. Being the class clutz is like being the class laughingstock. Mari seems to handle it fairly well.

 Until she’s around Adrien. I mean look at her!

Poor girl can’t stand looking so uncool in front of her crush. Even though he seems to find her clumsiness endearing.

Going off what was said in my “Debunking: Adrien is perfect” post, Marinette is hyper-sensitive to Adrien’s situation despite not really knowing the full extent of his suffering. 

Marinette doesn’t know Gabriel is Hawk Moth either, but she does understand Adrien is lonely, isolated and in need of a source of love and comfort. She also understands to some degree that his heart is delicate, so she constantly handles him with kid gloves and looks on him with a perfection filter. We see how Mari reacts to upsetting Adrien in Malediktator when she softly whispers an apology after Adrien expresses his sorrow over everyone celebrating Chloe’s departure. She seems pained and distraught over causing him to be upset. Thus the reason Marinette calls Adrien perfect isn’t that she never sees any of his flaws--she just cannot acknowledge or process them under these conditions. She’s too busy trying not to hurt him. 

Marinette can comprehend Adrien’s situation, couples that with her own past experiences of bullying/ loneliness/ being a clumsy laughingstock. That combined with her love for him and her anxiety-warped common sense, led to the behavior which has earned her some disapproval from the fandom at large.

 But really? Marinette’s not a terrible person. Anymore than Adrien is.

 Adrien’s sometimes-obnoxious-flirting is brought on by his desire to “not look lame” in front of Ladybug. Ergo, his own insecurities are amplified around her because he too lacks confidence.

 Likewise Marinette’s stammering and clumsiness are amplified around Adrien, as is her anxiety and her desire to be cool in front of him.

 They both feel they have to prove themselves to the other in some regard. And they both have past and present experiences that have left them hurting and/or warped their judgement in some ways. 

 This doesn’t make Mari’s irrational behavior any more acceptable than Adrien’s troubles make his leading Kagami on and lying to Ladybug acceptable. It’s not acceptable. But Mari is no more deserving of hate than Adrien is.

They’re just a couple of stressed out kids, folks

[magicflowershop]

one day kitty; Yaku version

《inspired by movie A Whisker Away》

✿✿ you wished to be with the person you like and wish granted. whiskers, button nose, tail, four legs and ears on top of the head; you turned into a cat. with this, you are given the opportunity to be with the person you want to express your affections to. but as a cat. and only in one day.

― haikyuu characters x cat!reader imagines!

❀ masterlist ❀

the wheel of names have spoken.

Yaku is so cute

he’s so confused why a cat is following him to school

he stops crouches and picks up the cat and thought of bringing it to the shelter bc it looks so clean,,, someone must own it yk

but when you realize you are being sent to the shelter you screeched and clinged to him like a mad cat

the terror on the cat’s face terrified Yaku the same,, he concluded it was abused or smth so he proceeded to bring it to school with him

the school patrols were by the gate so he did his best to hide you inside his bag,, which thankfully worked since you were small enough

skinny

he lit did not know what to do with you,, especially since you behaved and kept looking at him with beady eyes :((((

he wanted to cuddle you but he was afraid since its a cat, it might get attached to him and not leave him alone :((((((((((

besides that you prolly had a family and he wanted to search it for you

which he did,, he brought you along with him to volleyball practice and asked the others if he’s seen the cat before and knows the owner

sadly, no one did

realistically as well since duh you lit just spawned on the surface of the earth ;)

during vball practice, Yaku kept looking if you were alright by yourself with his things and when he looked there you were

sleeping, snuggling yourself on his bag all comfy :(

meanwhile Lev lowkey wanted to jump on you and give you a big ol hug since he loves cats so much but Yaku had that taken care of dw

his heart was broken not knowing what to do with you

Kuroo suggested him to just bring you with him home if he rly didn’t have the heart to leave you alone like this

and you were surprised to hear this like oh my god oh my god its wORKING MY PHEROMONES-

you were so enthralled, it showed on your face Kuroo laughed at you and ruffled your head,,, you hit his hand with your paw-

on the way home, Yaku went to buy food for you in the convenience store and you noticed the sky was getting dimmer o no 6 more hours till midnight you gotta step up sis!!!!!

you started flirting with him in front of the cashier clinging to his neck like a spoiled cat lmao the cashier even told Yaku the cat look so in love with him

and what were the odds he were right

Yaku’s mom was kind enough to let him bring a cat in the house,,, even said that you could say and of course you’d love that but as a cat???? you’d def rather as her daughter-in-law idk

he took you to his room

his room

HIS ROOM

YOU FELT LIKE YOU WERE TRESSPASSING

Yaku noticed you were scared to take steps in the room, had no idea why but he chuckled and picked you up with his hand he told you its ok you dont have to worry about dirtying the floor with your paws aw he thinks u durty

so he starts changing his clothes

i mean what else did you expect you’re literally just a cat

and that made you sad bc you’re just a cat getting his attention like this and it felt unfair,,, you wanted to stay like this forever bc its not easy to do smth like this irl but doin the dirty is another story i mean cmon

that night Yaku was just hanging out with you on his bed, talking about things that happened,,, and his worries for the vball team since they’re about to graduate soon

“i dont wanna leave them behind,, they’re like my family. Kuroo’s an ass but he’s been one of my great friends, Kai too. Lev’s a pain in the ass but he’s a good kid. Kenma’s shut off but he’s really sweet when he’s sincere with his feelings. Fukunaga doesn’t speak much but he means well.”

you,,, uh you guessed he really loved his team

and he’s opening up with rubbing your head and the spot behind your ears,, and you just stayed like that,, you never left his side and he really loved that part of you

but then you felt the change happening

you looked at the time and it was almost midnight,, you needed to leave

Yaku was asleep so you wanted to leave as quietly as possible your body was wrapped around his arm!!!! you needed strength to get out!!!!

he woke up but you went straight to his window and oh no it wasn’t opening with your puny little paws

Yaku got up to open the window for you absentmindedly and you just yeeted yourself outta his room,, he was shot awake and left the house immediately to see if you were alright

ofc you landed perfectly with your kitty reflexes and ran straight ahead to where you first met the the big crazy cat you wished from

but Yaku caught you

as yOU WERE ABOUT TO TRANSFORM BACK to what you were supposed to look like

and oh no since you’ve transformed back you wouldnt be able speak to the big crazy cat anymore,,,

the spell is removed

and Yaku saw all of that happened

“y/n???”

you wanted to tell him that it wasn’t what it looked like,, but what in the world would he expect it to be??? you couldnt speak since you were swallowed by the humiliation

“are you okay?!”

“you jumped off from the second floor you could’ve hurt yourself!”

this sweet boi,,, isnt even fazed seein a cat shapeshift into a human girl

it was late af and Yaku doesn’t have any choice but to let you stay in his house for the night,, sis his mum was shook to see him bring you home

she asked you where your parents are

and you said they’re out of town at the moment,, which clearly was a lie since there was a substitute of yourself back there

see, their house dont have guest room,,,,,,

“Morisuke, you have another futon in your room don’t you?”

so yuh,,, its a sleepover

he asked you so many questions about what just happened and you honestly answered every single one of them,, especially the part of you feeling as if you weren’t wanted in your home

and that you liked him

well, that part kinda slipped ahaha

“you like me?”

“um”

“y/n since when?”

“uh, nyways, don’t get shocked tomorrow morning if i suddenly disappear here, i won’t die i’ll just-”

“you’ll disappear?”

you were about to say that you’ll just manifest back to your usual life back at your home,,, however the worry in his eyes made you want to wrap your arms around him and never let him go and thats exactly what he did

“you’re not alone anymore”

stay tuned for more from the wheel of names.

[chikkou]

Will you talk more about Lisa?? Lisa the character specifically but also your feelings on his feelings about Buddy? I just thought your analysis was so good and I want to hear other thoughts you have on her.

yall are honestly spoiling me rn sdhkfdjfks this is like a dream come true 

i already got into the stuff with buddy in this ask here but i have a LOT to say about lisa and the connection between her and buddy so u better settle in!

ok so firstly ill start with lisa. i played the original lisa game (lisa the first) not long after it first dropped in 2012, and im not even kidding when i said it changed me LMAO.... seeing a story about a girl suffering is nothing new, but austin jorgensens approach to it was so fucking unique. you dont just witness it, you get to EXPERIENCE it right along with her. many stories that involve sexual abuse/rape show or otherwise depict it explicitly for the shock value, which is both disgusting and, in my opinion, extremely fucking exploitative. i feel that it is horrific to dignify an act so deeply evil with screentime. but lisa stood out to me immediately because, even though you know exactly whats going on, the game NEVER shows anything explicit. everything is layered in subtext and symbolism, and austin is fantastic with indirect storytelling, so you learn so much from just a little drop of information. this applies not just to the game proper, but to the character as well.

in case its not clear: i absolutely ADORE lisa. she is my favorite character in all of the games, bar none. its going to sound kind of fucked up, but as a kid around her age going through some fucked up shit, her committing suicide at the end felt like a sort of victory to me. she knew she could never escape from marty or what he was doing to her. he leaks into every single part of her psyche, everything she ever cared about or loved is ruined because of him, and even the vague memory of her mother is completely corrupted, and turned into a muddled version of him. lisa the first also had the added benefit of some religious commentary, as there are crosses all over their home and marty is characterized as an extremely religious man, which i fucking LOVE and wish had come back in the painful, but its an acceptable loss. anyway, lisa committing suicide at the end was an act of defiance against not just marty, but martys god, as suicide is considered a mortal sin in catholicism. lisa knew she’d never be free of marty in life, so she escaped the only way she could; she was defiant to the end.

ive seen people complain that the painful has a bit of a “lost lenore” thing going on, since lisas death seems to fuel the Manpain of both brad and buzzo, but i actually disagree. on the contrary, its just like austin himself said - lisa will never be gone. lisa is ALWAYS there, with brad, and buzzo, and buddy, and marty, and yado, and the ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD. i dont necessarily think that there is something paranormal going on in the game, but i AM going to say that, unlike other cases of a girl/woman dying for a mans backstory, lisa isnt just a bittersweet memory they can reflect on and then put away when its convenient for them. she is a presence that is felt throughout the entire game. brad sees her more than once, sometimes watching, sometimes reprimanding him. buzzo is clearly haunted by her, as he cries out to her a few times in the joyful. every character who was directly touched by lisa - brad, marty, and buzzo - calls out to lisa as they die. call it their guilt or call it her actions, but in either case, it is clear that lisa just as significant of a character in the painful as she was in the first, even if she cant always be seen. even in a meta-sense, every game in the series - even the joyful, whose protagonist doesnt even know who she is - is named after her. she is at the center of everything that happens in them. 

that actually brings me to buddy, because i find the dynamic between her and lisa fucking fascinating. as i previously mentioned, brad never talked about his past with buddy, and snaps at her for bringing up his adoptive son dusty (rando), so it goes without saying that she definitely doesnt know who lisa is. in spite of that, though, lisa is a fucking massive part of buddys life, and while she may not know the person herself, i think she is aware that when people (and brad especially) look at her, they arent seeing HER. 

i mentioned it in another post, but even though brad takes it upon himself to raise and “protect” buddy, he seems to almost unwittingly recreate lisas appearance, primarily by allowing her hair to grow long even though he knows what a risk that is to her safety. he also treats buddy in a manner thats incredibly similar to how marty treated lisa (sans sexual abuse, of course) - he insults her, does not let her leave the house at all, and forces her to do unsavory things that no one should ever have to do (in buddys case, this means killing at least two innocent people because brad doesnt want a “weak” daughter). the most literal comparison between buddy and lisa is the fact that they are both very young girls being essentially held captive by their father figures, albeit for different reasons, and both long for freedom from their captors. 

theres also the fact that both buddy and lisa have to deal with misogyny and the effects of rape culture firsthand; they both battle against men who feel entitled to do with them whatever they please, and the threat of ongoing sexual abuse looms heavy over both of their heads. neither one can seek help from anyone; the neighbors in brad and lisas town seem complacent at best, if they even know what is happening to lisa at all, and buddys only allies (sans rando) are long dead by the start of the joyful. this is not just a hypothetical or a distant possibility. this is the real, tangible fate that will befall them if they cant somehow secure their safety.

sadly, because lisa wasnt playable in either of the rpgs, we dont know if she was able to fight as brad was, but it is highly probable that she had the innate skill but was never able to learn it (as marty highly discouraged them from learning “their grandfathers karate,” and seemed disgusted whenever brad did so). however, she did have ONE weapon she could make use of, and this is a weapon buddy ends up using, as well - her femininity. she became close to bernard (aka buzzo), made him fall in love with her, and then used him as a last ditch effort to stop martys abuse by having him mutilate her face. im not saying lisa never cared about bernard - in fact, i think she DID really love and care for him - but her own fucked up experiences with “love” meant she really couldnt understand what it was supposed to be like, or that it was wrong to manipulate the people you care about. lisa did very few things wrong - it pretty much just stops at the maiming of the cat and her manipulation of bernard - but she knew that she would never get away from marty without some kind of drastic action being taken, and scarring herself was her last ditch effort before ultimately committing suicide.

buddy ends up taking a somewhat similar tack in the joyful, and like in lisas case, its simultaneously resourceful and horrific. one of buddys key moves in the joyful is to flash the enemy (which the player obviously doesnt see) in order to distract them long enough to get the kill. its fucking horrible and disgusting and makes you feel so dirty, but then, how must buddy feel having to do something like that just to survive? shes just a child, but in a world where almost every man is out to get you, she knows this has to be done to save herself, very much like lisa. unlike in lisas case, though, buddy is successful in securing her safety in this way - lisas effort is for naught, and leads to her committing suicide not very long after. 

in a way, i sort of attribute buddys brutality to lisas omnipresence; all of the men pursuing buddy are just like marty, monsters who would harm a fucking child for their own disgusting ends, and i think that when buzzo said that lisa wouldve loved olathe, what he means is that she would have loved seeing so many horrible men being punished for what theyd done. so in my opinion, buddy carving out a place for herself in olathe by killing all those who would subjugate her seems very much in the mentality lisa would have had. sure, there are some innocents who sadly get roped into it, but that would definitely not be her intention; for example, if buzzo could have practiced amputation without harming a living thing, i dont think lisa would have asked him to practice on the cat. note the LACK of brutality at the beehive and the swamp bar, two of the few peaceful places in the painful and both devoid of predatory men hunting for buddy - lisa has no qualm with any of them. but marty? brad could hardly even get a full sentence out before killing him on the spot. i dont doubt that that has a great deal to do with lisas presence. 

ok i talked for a while LMAO but basically i think that, in a more metatextual sense, lisa and buddys relationship really strikes me as an accurate depiction of generational trauma. of course it was intentional with the more obvious trauma chain (marty to brad to buddy), but the trauma chain of marty to lisa to buddy is rarely ever addressed due to lisa not physically appearing in the painful. however, i believe it may inform buddys actions a great deal more than people realize - after all, buddys experience is unique, but who could understand it better than lisa? who knows that sort of pain, of being alone on an island, the lone woman trapped with a man (or men) who want nothing more than to cause you harm? even without her realizing it, lisa is guiding buddy, encouraging her to take back what is hers no matter the cost, to punish those who would try to take what they want from her. lisa might be dead, but she is a vengeful presence throughout every game, and buddys actions feel like theyre meant not only to save herself, but to avenge lisa, even if she doesnt realize it. at the end of the day, buddy and lisa both get to exact revenge against all the men who have wronged them, and they succeed. they are aggressive, and violent, and selfish, and ANGRY - and they have every fucking right to be.