#almost like i'm oversharing somehow | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lumea-art · 9 months ago

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Hey, guys! I'd like to address a personal issue which actually concerns everyone in this fandom. Please, read and react somehow🙏 For those on the bojere fanbook server, that's going to be pretty much the same as what you read yesterday. If I'm too direct or accidentally overshare, sorry, keep in mind that I'm autistic

So for quite a long time I felt secretly disliked in the fandom. I am a very anxious person, I hang on every piece of feedback that I get so it bothered me a lot. I wasn't allowed to participate in the Käärijä zine and they never explained why and I almost didn't get in the bojere fanbook as well but at least the mods were kind enough to communicate the issue

So the mods told me yesterday that people felt uncomfortable about me taking part in this and having me on the server. I felt very down the whole day and didn't understand shit until Moko and Due gave me the explanation. The issue was "radfem" in my bio on Twitter. They explained to me how my associating with radfem made them think I was potentially threatening to other people on the server, especially the queer folk. But the thing is I turned out to be quite different. I consider myself to be radfem cause I've had a lot of traumatic experience with men (SA, abusive relationship), I don't want any other women to go through something like I had to experience, I am with women, I'm fighting for our comfort and against the patriarchy. Also I am from Kazakhstan and we have big issues with women's rights here including all kinds of abuse and femicide for which men tend to not get in jail. You might have heard how our ex minister of Economics abused and k*lled his wife and didn't get in jail until the case reached the news. That's all, that's what it means TO ME to be radfem. So I guess this radfem is different to the one you're used to. I am not transphobic and I have never thought my views had anything to do with queer people. I have always been nothing but respectful towards queer people, online or irl. I have nonbinary friends who are comfortable with communicating with me. As a cis person, I may not understand something, but we tend to talk anything through in order to understand each other better, not waiting for any of us get hurt accidentally. So I suggest the same - if you need further clarification, you can ask me questions in reblog or dms and I'll answer. Also I'm open to literature suggestions to get to understand you guys better💕

Also regarding Russian-Ukranian issue in case anyone has a problem with it

Since I'm openly Russian speaking (though being from Kazakhstan and half Ukrainian myself), Ukrainians might have an issue with me and I perfectly understand why so I try not to bother them. However, some of them didn't want to leave me and my friends alone. You might have seen this big Russian-Ukranian fight on twitter in April, mostly taking place in JO fandom. The thing is that (again) people don't dig deep and assume I am pro Russian since I speak Russian and happen to not be able to speak Ukrainian or Kazakh (in Kazakhstan we mostly speak Russian). Me and my Russian speaking friends were bullied, our personal info was leaked without our permission and one of us got threatened to be physically hurt once she arrives to a JO gig we are all going to. Of course I protected my friends and myself, maybe not in the best way possible. Luckily, we were able to talk everything through with the guys and no one means to hurt anyone anymore. I suggested doing commissions for donations and I still do that if you're interested. I am pro Ukrainian and pro Palestinian and genocides suck

If someone doesn't want to communicate with me for whatever reason, just don't, what's the problem. But don't limit a person before clarifying things, I beg you. Please, I really want to be on good terms with everyone. I wish peace to everyone 🙏

#the tags are to attract attention #käärijä #joker out #bojan cvjetićanin #jere pöyhönen #bojere

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ethereal-feline · 7 months ago

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I say I forget to post my own stuff but actually I'm not confident but have a doodle dump

Reigen: *overshares/trauma dumps about that time he almost starved to death in a cursed train/dream world*

Also Reigen: *still rolls Nat 20 on making friends...somehow*

(Don't know what to call this squad besides Food lol)

Sanji: you want one?

Reigen: no thanks, I quit a few years ago.

(My awful handwriting: "Just walked into office")

Mob: it looks like Master made a lot of friends. ☺

(IDK what the conversation is, kinda was just gonna do empty bubbles just to show there's a conversation but then I filled one and stupidly followed through lol)

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wetsnifflesneeze · 8 months ago

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Something extremely embarrassing that happened

i am deeply embarrassed guys but i feel it is time to overshare 😭 unfortunately all these obs revolve around me 😭

this literally happened over a year ago but i have been too ashamed to talk about it 😭😭

so it was springtime and i was visiting a friend, staying at her and her partner’s place for a week. about mid way through the flight my nose started running a bit and i convinced myself it was just a reaction to the airplane air… so my nose is running and it doesn’t stop so eventually i have to get some toilet paper from the bathroom and then the rest of the flight it's manageable i just keep dabbing my nose with the toilet paper every so often

we meet at the airport and the car journey to her place is fine, then as soon as i get into her house i get sniffly again almost immediately. she fucking loves her air conditioning and making her house cold so again i'm like okay maybe it's this air. which wasn't ideal for me but i'm not the kind of person to tell someone what temperature they should keep their house at

the day after i got there she was stuffy and sneezy and said it was allergies, which i believed, she was only stuffy and sneezy and surely i couldn’t have gotten her sick in only 8 hours haha. and well after she took her allergy meds she did get better.

she was in my room one morning and was like “you have a roll of toilet paper in here” and i said yeah my nose has been running a lot 💀

i tried my HARDEST not to sneeze while around other people. i mean i'm comfortable when it's just me and her but her partner and another one of her friends were also there most of the time

it was my second day there that was the worst i was so sniffly i didn’t have any tissues on me and we were mid convo and my nose just started dripping to my upper lip in front of people (embarrassing, yes, this is over sharing. i could have left this part out). sooo many trips to the bathroom to blow my nose that day (i’m shy)

the same day as that we were all hanging out in the living room and i said something at one point and not one person understood it lmao i was that congested. i did feel a little bit bad that night I’ll be honest but just from being so congested and the general embarrassment

also that whole week her partner and i kept sharing beers and even food (their idea not mine) so i guess i didn't give off the i'm sick you don't want to drink from my glass vibes or maybe they're just really chill about it??

we were in the pool and i was holding back the urge to sneeze for like two fucking hours. it was just the two of us but idk the idea of sneezing while i was in the water felt gross and i was like wtf will i do if it's messy so yeah i just somehow managed not to sneeze but i had such a i'm going to sneeze at any moment face

it wasn’t that bad the whole time but those first couple days were uncomfortable for me to say the least i’m just not comfortable being like that around people. i guess i had a mild cold, as far as i know i didn’t get anyone sick so that’s good.

#self obs #snz #snz kink #snzfucker #coldfucker #sniffles #snzblr #snzbian #snz blog

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jumpywhumpywriter · 3 months ago

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Uh, hey. Not really sure how to start this since it’s been a minute, but just wanted to say that I’m alive, just took a brain break from the internet. Not really sure if that’s oversharing, but brain be overthinking a lot. Hope you’re doing well (and that this isn’t somehow weird)!

Anyways, if you don’t mind me asking, do you have any other world built species or things in your world that make the island (I’m blanking on the name) interesting? Unique flora or fauna? Feel free to ignore this or answer in whatever depth you like.

Hope you’re doing well, staying hydrated, and taking care of yourself :)

-idk

Taking a brain break I'd totally fine! It's good for your mental health (I know this from personal experience Lol)

But wow, you are really going to like the worldbuilding lore I've got to answer this question with! Get ready for some CRAZY info-dumping! (This list is HUGE)

I have considered every aspect of the biology of my plants/animals from the island Falkradia in my books. I've created a very intricate ecosystem for it with prey and predators alike, along with many carnivorous and deadly plants. Biology is fascinating! I like to plan out my creatures bit by bit, including their unique physical anatomy and structure, along with how they would move/walk/run in real life -- it helps me write them more realistically in the end. And I imagine/create the world they live and coexist in to see how they would interact with each other in the food chain. I also like to add unique twists by drawing inspiration from fascinating real-life phenomenons found in both plants and animals.

Anyway, here's a few of my epic Falkradia-specific plants & creatures that I think classifies as 'lore'? Basic point is that my world is deadly and awesome because of it so I'm sharing some qualities of it regardless. And guess what? Some of the made-up plants and fruits in this world have detailed/specific medicinal properties and practical uses that are mentioned in the books! Each of the listed things below is stuff that I created myself with inspiration taken from other real-life plants and things (like Willow trees) that I used to make my world seem more realistic, despite it being in a fantasy setting. Here's the list of the most important/relevant flora and fauna from my world::

***A tree called a Blood Willow -- looks like a weeping Willow, but each of its leaves is stiff and razor-sharp like blades. It is a predatory plants that will attack any animal that comes close, slashing it to bloody ribbons with its leaves and the blood of its prey waters the roots of the tree to help it thrive.

***Archurvore Sephries (pronounced Ar-choo-voire Seh-frees - scientific name) AKA “Nightic Bloom” – a flower used as a reversal agent for Nylid poisoning (Nylid is an extremely toxic/deadly venom found in a rare type of snake mentioned in my books that Falkry tend to avoid when possible)

***Tangladine (tang-la-dine) extract - a fruit extract (sourced from Tangladine) with a treesap-like consistency, orangish-yellow in color - is used to help with headaches, and relieve aches and pains from overworked or injured muscles - a topical medicine.

***Wickoyia Alconoroy Flower (scientific name, pronounced Wick-oi-ya All-conn-oh-roy) AKA “Devil’s Heartseed” – Rare beautiful deep blood red flowers that has a pitch black center to them, with faded black on the tips of each of the six pointed petals - red tipped green leaves on the plant part with maroon colored berries:: juice from crushed berries are strong tranquilizer/sedative, also has healing properties that can numb wounds and help them heal faster.

***Lavablart (pronounced just like it looks) - bitter/strong-scented plant often used to mask other scents from detection. It has almost no other purpose. Hunters would occasionally smear the plant sap around a recent kill site, to mask the scent of blood from the kill they had made, to prevent it from scaring away other prey animals (to trick other prey animals into a false sense of security).

***Armaborium - large coconut-sized fruit with the texture of a watermelon, but also the bitterness of a lemon, along with the crunch of a carrot.

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Now for some unique animal species from Falkradia::

***Jacarda (Jah-CAR-duh) - Jerboa-like creature the size of a large rabbit, with kangaroo-like hind legs, shorter front paws, long tail with lion tuft on end, disproportionately large long ears compared to body size, has excellent hearing, ears are triangular shaped, looks like a giant mutant mouse. (If you don't know what a normal Jerboa is, you HAVE to look it up -- they are literally the cutest little things you'll ever see!!)

***Kaiehgree (Kai-eh-gree) - herd animals - slender body of a thin wild horse, long and nimble legs of a deer, panther-like tail that was long enough to reach the ground, impressively large rack of antlers on their heads, two small tusks that poke down from the upper row of canine teeth like a musk deer - fox-shaped head, furry, triangular ears - has a bugling, warbling, with a hint of a whistle alarm call (It seems so specific but this is exactly how I describe them in the books)

***Garnigee bird -- a type of bird of prey, like a giant eagle but with unusual colors closer to greens and faded blues in the feathers that help them blend in with the lush green forests on Falkradia

***Kuacall (coo-ah-call) - the Falkry equivalent of Mockingbirds, as they can perfectly imitate/mimic hundreds of complex sounds they hear in their environment. They are considered an obnoxious pest in Falkradia. ((Sidenote: the 'call' part of their name I included as a hint to what they can do -- posess a variety of bird calls)

***Shrike - highly aggressive large wolf-like creatures with scrawny build, long bony tail, tall pointy ears, long pointed snout -- facial features look a lot like the Egyptian Anubis.

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A random fact: the name "Falkry" in my world translates to Falcon-Winged in the human language -- I did that intentionally as a direct reflection onto the fact that Falkry have falcon-like wings. (You can probably tell all the names on this list were pretty well-thought-out Lol)

BONUS: Here are some other miscellaneous but highly useful objects that are a big part of my world that aren't plants or animals::

***Ululeh - thin pencil-long metal rod used for ‘writing’ on wax-covered waterproof paper that is capable of traveling through rainstorms without getting soaked. The rod creates indentations that can be read when tilted to catch the light. ((This one was inspired because I used to use pens that had run out of ink to create "secret messages" when I was in school - they could only be read at the right angle since there was 0 ink involved and only grooves on the paper, if that makes sense?))

***Flight wax - clear wax that goes onto a Fallry's feathers to help the tips not get frayed during rough flying (or aerial combat) and also acts as waterproofing when water is expected to be involved. Also helps them fly faster. When applied it is slick and shiny but dries a transparent matte. No one would notice when someone is wearing it unless they look closely at the feather barbs to see that they are coated. The wax can be dyed different colors for easier identification during flight.

---Red tipped wings=leader, person who gives orders

---Black/white tipped wings = 3 wingman of the leader

((There are more color associations but I'll cut it short for the sake of how long this is getting - ironic because it's already overwhelmingly long)

***Vlute - made from Whistling Grass (which makes a whistling sound when wind or air blow through it); Vlute itself has strings like violin, plays like flute

***Feather Oil - made from extremely diluted tree sap mixed with a variety of natural oils to create a hydrating substance used when grooming feathers to keep them in pristine condition after each molt and improve flight capabilities (similar to the function of Flight Wax, but the oil is meant more for maintenence and upkeep than actual protection.) Often Falkry will help each other groom, and it's considered a bonding experience to do it with your friends and help each other out.

My world even has its own ancient LANGUAGE unique to Falkry! (Shadow takes advantage of that fact occasionally in the books to hold conversations with Tanner that Thomas the human can't interpret -- Tanner has studied the language Shadow speaks and is semi-fluent, so Shadow can give him secret messages -- usually just calling Thomas an idiot is multiple languages and cussing him out)

Oh, and Falkry even have several their own sports and pastime activities that are part of their culture

***Cliff diving -- a fun aerial sport where Falkry dive off of a steep cliff to catch the powerful updraft that flows vertically up the rock face. From there many incredible aerial feats can be achieved that wouldn’t be possible elsewhere. Cliff-diving sites also have the perfect conditions for teaching young Falkry to fly for the first time, since it is actually quite hard to fall because of the strong upward wind blowing in from the ocean.

***The Darken Day Festival -- a massive celebration celebrating the darkest day on Falkradia, which takes place every 5 years during a rare eclipse. The festival lasts a full 24 hours and is full of fancy dining, dancing, and aerial sports like treetop races and agility courses. A lot of Falkry dye their feathers with bright colors to show off and express their joy and have fun. The Darken Day Festival is by far the largest party/calendar event on Falkradia, and it takes over a week of preparation beforehand to get setup for it.

***A Game Called "Flinch" - this is a dangerous pastime game that involves seeing who can toss throwing knives into the ground closest to their foot/shoe without flinching or cutting themselves. Kind of like the knife game humans play where they see how fast they can stab a knife between their fingers without cutting themselves. It's a similar concept. It's a demonstration of skill and talent to see who has the most accurate aim. With a Falkry's regenerative abilities, any damage obtained during the game will heal, so it's nothing too permanent (unless a toe is accidently severed -- Falkry can't grow back entire body parts.) But in the end, whoever flinches is out.

And lastly, here are some major or important locations mentioned that are part of Falkradia (and will be included on the official map once it's created)

***Far Drysands - a long sandy beach located on the East end of the Falkradia island -- a common recreational spot for Falkry willing to wake up early enough to get a stunning view of the sun rising over the ocean in the morning.

***Firefall Forest -- the giant forest to the North of the main Falkradian city. It's the place where most hunting and foraging takes place, and often hunting competitions are held in it as a fun challenge to new Falkry hunters to test out theirs skills in the wild. It's also where nearly apl of the plants and animals mentioned earlier live and thrive - it can be a dangerous place to wander in alone.

***Moon Falls -- a gorgeous waterfall located near a lush, densely forested canyon. At night, the moon reflects off the waterfall, making it's water look like liquid silver flpwibg over the canyon edge and its misty spray look like glittering diamonds in the air. It's a popular nighttime hangout spot.

***Grand Hall -- the centerpiece structure in the middle of the Falkradian city, a massive building built directly into the side of a mountain. It's where the main part of the Darken Day Festival takes place, and is the location where all important meetings/events happen.

Falkry also have their own schooling system which teaches young Falkry the basics of survival - there's fight, hunting, and flight training, plus several other class-types including healing, foraging, and proper use of magic. Falkry learn how to safely navigate turbulent air conditions like windy days or thunderstorms, as well as wield their magic once it develops with puberty. But flight training is by far the most important class, as a Falkry needs to be capable of staying airborne in any weather conditions whatsoever.

I've got a bunch more lore surrounding Falkradia than what's listed here, but I think this is probably enough for now (I'll have to put together another post sometime with more info)

>>>to everyone reading, please note that I retain the right to these things, and I do not give anyone permission to steal/use these ideas without asking (please message me if you wish to possibly use my ideas and we can talk about it)<<<

#bird person #bird people #worldbuilding #world building #oc lore #lore

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pixlpxie · 7 months ago

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Hi Pixie!

I'd like to thank you for your openness about sexual things, needs and fantasies, as it greatly helped me accept my own sexual side.

I've always had quite high libido, I get aroused easily and I've always been really into porn, my friends also know me to be "the pervy friend" just based on my humour and general horniness, but even though it's something I can laugh at, I still often feel shame at myself and at the feelings I have.

The feeling that I shouldn't be having these thoughts, that I am somehow flawed and disgusting, that there's something wrong with me because I am so "feral", it just wouldn't leave me alone and it was something I was extremely embarrassed by and I feared that people would find me to be some deranged sexual lunatic.

I went through sexual abuse in my childhood, and accepting that side of me has always been really hard, but you've helped me a lot - to realise that such things are normal and there's nothing shameful about them. That this is all perfectly natural, that it doesn't make me disgusting or wrong or tainted to have sexual needs, that I am allowed to explore kinks and take pleasure from fantasies.

So for that, thank you so much.

I'm sorry for the long message and oversharing, but it always goes through my mind when I see the anon hate you get, people calling you disgusting and such and how effortlessly you shoot them down and laugh at them, absolutely unapologetic.

I wish all those people realised that it's extremely important to have spaces where you can comfortably share these feelings and thoughts, that it should be normalised to talk about sex and sexual needs and that the taboo of it isn't right, especially when it comes to female pleasure. Purity culture isn't cute and women are also people with needs.

Spaces like this help people realise that they aren't wrong or broken for their natural instincts, whether they've been brought up in religious circles or went through abuse, what you're doing on your platform is important to many who thought they were alone in these feelings and feared to talk about it, because they were afraid they would be called weird and disgusting for having a functional body that demands certain things that are natural and healthy.

Thank you very much <3

Ok let me go cry real quick and ill be back 😮‍💨

I had to read this a few times because i usually cant see what i do here as something that could help people so reading this was so valuable, truly it means the world to me. First of all I'm so sorry for what happened to you, you didn't deserve any of that and I hope you are doing well know 🥺💓 you will do even better 🥹🫶🏻

Having a high libido, different sexual desires and needs are totally normal but even to this day it's treated like a taboo like you said. And trust me i know how it feels like to be that pervy friend, it's exactly like the way you described. Almost in every social group im the one who's too much, too freaky, or too 'different'. My friends are so fun and you can always talk abt pervy stuff with them sure but at the end of the day I am always the weird one because usually i know or say stuff that get them a little horrified. Its all fun and games till it starts to get to you, I had to sit down and think why I am the way I am many times because like you said, something must have been wrong with me. Because why would I enjoy things that my friends don't?

Turns out everything's fine and you shouldn't really bother knowing why. It's okay, it's normal, in fact it's healthy. So the hate I get seems so childish to me and honestly it's fun atp. Sex and kinks are natural, they're human. Everyone will enjoy different things, some will like it more plain and simple while some will like more kinky things. You're not disgusting for enjoying things that the majority don't. Sexuality is fluid and endless, you will keep exploring it throughout your entire life and be as fierce as you can while doing it🫶🏻

Like I said, I am usually unable to comprehend the effect my blog has on people but reading your ask and other similar ones make me feel so many emotions. I never thought my blog would be a safe space for you guys 🥹 Please know that you are always welcome on this blog, we can talk about anything you want and I'll always try my best to help you. And please don't ever be sorry for 'oversharing' or writing 'long' asks bc trust me it's not oversharing or long for me. I love being here with you guys and I hope you know that you mean so much to me🥹😭💓

#pixlpxie asks

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hunter-sylvester · 7 months ago

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ok so this is probably my most overshare-y ask yet (tw for possible mention of SA and transphobia!!!)

BUT your post about side-shave Hunter being the most relatable stage/moment of his from the movie hit home so hard for me that I almost started crying while casually scrolling Tumblr. Cause like. Wow. I never saw it put into words like that but *yeah*. That moment in the movie was and is always so intense for me, because the feeling of violation for Hunter, specifically violation of something as precious to his self expression as his *hair*, reminded me painfully and beautifully of my own experiences with peers violating my body (in my case, the beating up escalated to SA) because I was a mouthy queer metalhead teenager who didn't look like everyone else.

like hair is such a huge part of queer self expression (or at least it was for me) and something about that scene felt so raw and so well done and just. yeah.

I've tried to type up a proper response to this for ages now and I always fall short. Maybe it's because it's connected to something of my own that is still a bit raw, or maybe it's because I simply feel ill equipped. Maybe it's because I think the perpetrators need a nailbat to the temple, who's to say.

I am always glad when my ramblings resonate with people <3 even if it's about something I wish none of us would have ever experienced. But too many of us have. And I'm grateful you felt comfortable enough to talk about it in my askbox. Know you're far from alone, and you're heard.

This did remind me about one of the things I've thought since first watching Metal Lords, but for some reason I just never talked about it on here? Maybe I thought people would deem it "too much" idk. But going into that in depth about that in response to this directly felt wrong somehow. So I'll be posting that separately.

#I'm so sorry I can't seem to formulate a good enough response to this.#instinct was to have rbs off for this. but if you want me to I can turn them on #hunters asks #cw sa mention #tw sa mention #answered ask #hunterposts #hunter sylvester

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queenofbaws · 27 days ago

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I’d love to know about the almosts!!!

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

gAAASSSSSSP an opportunity to ramble on about t(a)??????? you shouldn't have!!!!! ;Dc hehehehehe

14. Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

i wanted them to learn every last adjective i know 😌 so there's that.

hehehe honestly, the biggest message/lesson i wanted to get across with t(a) is that sometimes things suck. sometimes they are as miserable and as grueling and as downright awful as things can get...and you can still get through it. you can make mistakes. you can say the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time. you can be sad. you can be worse than sad. and you. can still. get through it.

is getting through it gonna be easy? probably not. will there be aches and pains along the way? probably. will there be conversations that suck, interactions that make you cringe in retrospect, things you wish you could take back? yeah, sorry, that's all part of being human. but you can do it anyway. if you're willing to try? if you're willing to put the work in? you got this.

after all...it's up to you to decide what ending you want ;)c

15. What did you learn from writing this fic?

i think. genuinely. writing this story taught me more than any other story i've written to date, lmfao. gonna get sliiiiiiightly sappy and overshare-y under the cut, so. mmm. if you're not looking for this to turn into The Queenie Hour, let's just say i learned a little bit, hahaha!

WHAT I LEARNED IN BOATING SCHOOL IS...

so i'm sure it's a story i've told before, but when i was writing t(a), there was sort of a perfect storm of terrible going on in my life. iiiiiiii had just realized i was capital-s Sick and life was changing because of that; i was considering leaving grad school because i was Sick (this later became 'i dropped out of grad school mid-phd dissertation' lmao); and i was dealing with a pretty, uh, let's say volatile end to a longterm friendship.

things were, in a word, rough.

and then something happened. i was in the middle of a presentation one of my labmates was giving, and i just started writing. "i just have a really good feeling about this year," hannah said, and sam snorts and asks, "oh yeah?" and that was, like...it. suddenly i was CONSUMED, and the moment i got home from work, i was outlining like there was no tomorrow. by the time t(a) was done, my life was...very different from where it started. very, very, very different.

so. what did i learn from/during/while/because of writing this fic?

1. major life changes are fucking scary. sometimes they are fucking scary every step of the way. but. BUT. someone else has had that experience before. and if you're willing to be open and honest about what you're going through, you're eventually going to find someone who's walked that path before, and it's going to make you feel a little less lonely, if absolutely nothing else.

2. things that hurt are not ALWAYS the end of the world. as part of one of the things i listed above, suddenly i had to move ao3 accounts, and at the time this felt...very much like the end of the world, i will admit lmaoooooooo obviously it wasn't, and i was SO lucky that there were people out there who enjoyed the first few chapters of t(a) enough that they LOOKED FOR IT once i moved and started posting again, but god i was gutted for a hot second.

3. everyone is going through it somehow. everyone. period. end of sentence. i think it's easy for us to look at other people - especially when we're experiencing hardships of our own - and think 'man they've got it all together.' but everyone has their thing, yknow? everyone is dealing with something, and, again, if you're open and honest about what YOU'RE going through, other people WILL come and help you get through it. you'll help them too ;)

4. if you tell a story/create something that means something to YOU, it will resonate with other people. it's so easy to get caught up in stats. in hits/faves/kudos/views/bookmarks/whatthefuckevers. it is SO easy to fall down that hole. but. at the end of the day. if you put your heart into a project - if you put YOURSELF into it - and you don't shy away from putting that much of your heart on display, the right people will find it. and they will be moved by it. and you will be moved by their responses to it, in turn. every single time someone tells me t(a) affected them in some way, i am genuinely moved beyond words, because it was a project i wrote for ME. to get ME through some shit. the idea it could help anyone else even a LITTLE bit is just...idk man it's a lot. :')

5. y'all sure fucking love charlie brown the pug, my god! hehehehehehe

#corefen #asks #queenie writes supermassive #the almosts #😭 THANK YOU FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO RANT ABOUT MY CHIIIIIIIILD hehehehe

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thisisanyayeah · 2 months ago

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Back to Tumblr

well, it's been quite a while since I ever visited Tumblr last time — I guess it was 2016 or something... gosh, I was studying at the uni back then😱

...and now I'm almost 30🙃 wow.

at that time I didn't even write much, there were about 2 posts😅 and one more (the most precious one) was lost somehow... I guess I wrote it and forgot to post haha

why did I get back? I just felt like I needed some personal cozy anonymous space just for myself and my thoughts. I feel that I overshare too much lately and it seems to me that it's becoming more and more annoying to my bf or friends (although they say otherwise, but I don't believe them😶).

so I thought maybe I should get a diary like back in childhood... I love writing by hand but don't feel like it right now. so I saw another of hundreds letters from Tumblr in spam and decided to give it a try :) I changed my nickname here so that my bf or friends wouldn't stumble upon my account. but maybe I'm too paranoid because they don't even use Tumblr and probably forgot that it exists 😄 moreover, writing here would help me to maintain and maybe improve my English, because nowadays I don't have any opportunity to use it in my everyday life

so here I am, just saying hello :)

#blog #tumblelog #on tumblr #english #personal space

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coffeebanana · 1 year ago

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for the director’s cut ask game:

It was hard to recall much aside from how he'd awoken a few hours earlier to find his father's body splayed unnaturally across the floor, his vacant stare somehow still bearing traces of disappointment.

The ambulance had pulled away maybe an hour ago, with no sirens to accompany its departure.

Adrien only realized Ladybug was probably waiting for a response when she grabbed his hand, pulling him back to the present with a gentle squeeze. His stomach swirled. Couldn't she have reached for his other side?

She deserved better than the hand he'd used to destroy his own father.

When he finally managed to look up, he only felt worse seeing the sympathy in her eyes. He quickly looked back to his feet, panic drowning out any response he tried to cobble together in his head.

"Has anyone told you what happened?" she asked.

Adrien almost said no—which would be the truth, technically. Nobody had told him, unless he counted the clarifications Plagg had provided after the fact, details of what occurred after Ladybug and Chat Noir fell victim to Monarch's Akuma. Part of him wondered how Ladybug would tell the story, which parts would she soften or leave out. He wondered what she really thought.

But maybe it was better not to know.

Adrien cleared his throat. "I...ran into Chat Noir outside. He said he had to go, but he told me..." He took a deep breath, continuing in a whisper. "I know my father's dead."

It was the first time he'd said it out loud, and the words came out surprisingly clear. It was only afterwards, when they hung in the awkward silence following Ladybug's sharp intake of air, that he felt like they were eating him from the inside out.

Ladybug's grip tightened. "I'm sorry, Adrien. I'm so sorry."

His gut coiled tightly with some unbearable emotion. He tried to think up something else to say, lips parting as he raised his head to look at her. But the second he met her eyes—so wide and blue and sad—speaking was a lost cause.

His lips quivered. A sob clawed its way up his throat, tugging another one up behind it before the first had even broken free. Ladybug's hand rubbed up and down his arm, and that was all the encouragement he needed to finally release the tsunami inside him.

Adrien had killed his own father.

For months he'd been suffering. Adrien had assumed, when Monarch reappeared from his brief hiatus, that he was okay. That the Cataclysm hadn't been fatal. Instead he'd had a front row seat to his demise—to all the times he cried out in pain while cooking breakfast, trying to pretend everything was fine whenever Adrien noticed.

But if it weren't for that Cataclysm, if Monarch's health hadn't been weakened, then the world might have ended a few hours ago, torn apart and rebuilt in his father’s image. With his parents and Nathalie still alive.

Fic link, if anyone's interested: Pull Me From The Embers

This is already long, so I'll put the rest under the cut 😂

Man, okay. I tried to pull up past versions of google docs to see if I had anything interesting there to inspire my commentary but nope. Either I did not rewrite this part 20 billion times, or it simply wasn't immortalized mid-edit. But I did figure out that I wrote this fic in a funky colour scheme, so that's something:

OKAY about the excerpt then. I think this is one example where I'm very proud of like...how naturally I weaved the backstory in without oversharing? Like, I feel like that's something that's always so hard to get right and I definitely trend towards overexplaining. Less is more is SUCH A HARD LESSON TO LEARN ahahaha.

But here like. My slightly more fleshed out idea of what had happened is basically that Monarch's Akuma--whose power is irrelevant because I didn't think about that part--overtook both LB and CN in this. Which is why there's a chunk of the battle Chat doesn't remember here that Plagg filled him in on. And then Monarch was dying so he didn't manage to finish casting the wish, and yeah. But since LB and CN didn't wake up in the same place in the house, they don't know identities still. I imagine they both woke up, realized the place was destroyed, and immediately transformed because they really didn't know if the Akuma was still at large. And then...Adrien probably was alone when he found Gabe's body and just sort of stood there until Ladybug showed up. And Ladybug would have been too busy freaking out to realize how out of it he's been 😭😭😭

The ambulance had pulled away maybe an hour ago, with no sirens to accompany its departure. -- this is a line I was really proud of I think. idk, in my obviously biased opinion i think it conveys what it's supposed to very efficiently.

omg ADRIEN HAS SO MUCH GUILT HERE!!! this is making me want to play with that in one of my post-s5 fics, because I haven't let him piece together after how it went down in canon yet... (there's at least one WIP I have that's gonna touch on it though if i remember correctly)

huh this ask game just feels like a lot of me rambling kjbdfkbj i sincerely hope it's actually interesting LOL

Adrien having complicated feelings about his father's death is MMMMMM SO GOOD though. I could read and write a million versions of that aaaaaaaaah.

On a less serious note, the part where Adrien tells LB that Chat basically just dipped is so funny to me because like. In my mind Marinette absolutely does not question that. Because yeah okay, for one, she's more focused on Adrien, byt FOR TWO, it's absolutely normal and reasonable for her to think Chat just had some normal civilian obligation he had to get back to. He could have just showed up to patrol two days later like "Sorry LB that I didn't say bye after we literally defeated the dude we've been fighting all year! Had to get home for breakfast yk how it is!", and she wold not have questioned it at all. ajbfksdjbf love her <3

uh........i don't think i have anything else to say at this time. But I really enjoyed writing this fic!! ladrien after adrinette's gotten together is something that has become so special to me 💞

thanks for the ask!! 💜

#miraculous ladybug #ladrien #long post

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7ndipity · 7 months ago

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just found out some thing by my friend's insta stories that got me sad and mad about him bcause I though we were friends close enough for him to tell me if they're dating and etc

and yeah a while ago I was having feelings for him, and I thought he was too, we even went on a few dates last year, but I think this part of the relationship got cold (?) bcause we both didn't have time to go out on dates since he was taking college class and working. I think we did got a little far from each other since our agendas didn't coincide enough for us to keep in touch and go out on dates and etc

so when I started to go to the gym where he works I kind felt happy about it and though that our relationship as friends would be closer somehow since now we were meeting frequently, even though it didn't had that spark of the possibility of romance, I kinda like our friendship and all, it comes since the college (we both did Engineering and we had some classes together) and honestly he's the only friend I have from college that I still keep touch

I think I'm not even sad about the whole romantic between us being dead (I was already accepting that we wouldn't have a thing and etc bcause I wasn't feeling that spark between us anymore) but the fact that I thought he was a close friend that we could share anything but in the end I think he didn't thought we were close enough for him to tell me he was dating, I mean are we friends that close?? Or was I just oversharing my life with him?? He know so much about me and my life and now I don't think I know that much about him

maybe I'm the one oversharing lol maybe because I don't have someone to vent often so I just overshare things with him?? almost the same I'm doing here lol

sorry for that much venting I literally just found out about this today and I feel the need to vent it to someone or else my anxiety might attack during work time

Oof, I'm sorry you're dealing with that, honey.

Obviously I don’t know either of you personally so I can't say anything for certain, but him not sharing about his dating life doesn't necessarily mean that you're not close, some people are just more quiet and private when it comes to discussing that part of their lives. Plus, he might’ve felt awkward mentioning it since you said that you went out a few times. I still understand why you'd feel hurt about the the situation though🫂

I hope everything works out between the two of you, and if you ever need to talk, I'm always here💜

#7ndipity speaks

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the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see · 1 year ago

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you called me a friend and that has given me the courage to step out of the anon mask lol

YEAH EXACTLY. HE SPENT THE whole day looking for his daughter and then reliving painful memories! i felt so bad for him

cheers to living life as hopeless romantics lol

I KNOW RIGHT, (studying psychiatry just for them if we lived in that universe)

JERSEY. im not kidding, i spent like a week being emotional over the jersey ending, my parents were genuinely concerned 😭

nani has a Father Face!! yes!! and i've spent an embarrassing amount of time watching his interviews, and he's SO GOOD WITH KIDS. it's so cute honestly

yay for intellectual conversations via tumblr asks!! i've been overanalysing this movie almost constantly in my head for the past 4 days so this was really fun, ily <3

fun fact: i wanted to know when you replied to my ask, so i kept having to open your account, right? so after a point i just typed "gay" onto my searchbar to find your account lol

another fun fact, i was scrolling through your desiposting tag bc it was fun and saw "saturday night fever" and. i haven't heard this song in years, okay, i didn't even remember that such a song existed in that movie. but it still instantly played in my head with A Tune, and i googled the song to see if i remembered the tune somehow or if i was just making stuff up, AND IT WAS THE RIGHT TUNE. sure brain. remember all random tunes but not the shit i study for exams.

fellow pjo fan!! hi!! and i love your opinions on taylor swift!! FRIEND!!!!!

i apologise for the oversharing but i have very recently found telugu people on tumblr and i'm Very Excited, if you need me to back off, pls lmk and i will!

welcome to the other side............................!

2. I KNOWWWWWWW they really put nani in The Most situations ever give the man a break !! they need to put every character in counseling immediately after the cameras stop rolling

3. 🥂🥂 its tough but its real

5. NO WAYYY that is so funny but also <33333

6. HE ISSSSSSS when he did krishna gaadi veera prema gaadha and played with the kids all the time...................... where can i find a man like him fr

7. awhh i love you too<33 i always love talking about movies its so so fun

8. LMAOOOOOO honestly this is the end goal and vision. my moniker is gay as it should be and the universe is right

9. RIGHT its such a sleeper agent song i never remember it Until I Do. but yeah at that point i didnt know when i could go back to india and i remembered we would sing it while running and it made me Emotionanal. but i got to go back which was nice!! different problems but it still feels good to go home

10. omg!!!!!!!!!!! we are holding hands and skipping in a circle............ FRIEND!!!

11. no youre COMPLETELY fine i do the exact same thing<333 you dont need to back off at all, its incredibly fun to talk to you !!!

#its like a neighborhood in here if i see a telugu person im going to invite myself over #the tree speaks #asks #ily diana

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