#almost done w the book but i had to take a 3 day break to draw the brainworms out

[rithmeres]

alternate covers for the dream thieves

[bby-deerling]

I’m so glad you will write for Sanji!!

Can i please request a Sanji x reader in the whole cake arc where before that Sanji and reader would flirt and have this connection making reader think their relationship would go further but suddenly Sanji decides to ignore them making reader sad and one day he just say goodbye to the strawhats because he will marry pudding breaking reader’s heart (like tons of angst)

Thankfully luffy didn’t believe Sanji and forms a plan to rescue Sanji, so when Sanji and reader are together Sanji confess to reader that he did it to protect them and he was scared this would become his life instead of staying forever with reader?

Sorry if its too much and too especifica dear amazing writer, its okay if you don’t want to write it. I just need a Sanji angst to fluff

I’m also happy the message made you happy, it’s true! The way you write its amazing! Glad you decided to write, post it here and for my tumblr to put you in my page!

Have a nice day!

thank you so much for the request! <3 i made a few lil tweaks, but i hope you still enjoy it!

crazy (sanji x reader) angst w/a happy ending, hurt/comfort, wci spoilers. wc 1.2k

He was back.

He was back, and to everyone else it was like nothing had even happened—even Nami had forgiven him with relative ease.  The whole crew was acting as if the events of the last week and some change were a complete dream, and he never left.

As if he hadn’t been about to marry someone else.

You were a complete fool, thinking you could capture the heart of a man who constantly flitted from one woman to the next.  No stranger to the art of seduction, he threw himself at almost any woman that crossed his path, and on rare occasions, had gotten lucky when the occasional girl on an island would throw him a bone, but he had done so much to try to assure you his affections for you were genuine. 

Neither of you had confessed your true feelings for each other outright other than Sanji's dramatic professions that you would be a fool to take seriously; prior to his departure, you had been trapped in a delicate dance back and forth with each other that had slowly bloomed into something that felt more serious—at least it did to you.  It seemed so silly looking back on it—despite the way that he had toned down his flirtations with other women in order to convince you to fall for him, you should have known it was a matter of time until he went back to his natural habits.  The teasing touches, comfortable silence while doing dishes, and long, emotional talks over a late-night cigarette could only have kept him captivated for so long before moving along to someone else.

Despite the massive headache and heartache the cook was causing, you couldn’t even call him on it right now; after him having been through so much with his biological family, it would be nothing short of cruel to attack him over his wandering eye.  Still, you couldn’t help but hurt tremendously as he served drinks to you and Nami, mask of a smile on his face, without so much as a conversation with you about what had transpired, much less where the two of you stood with each other.  In fact, he seemed to be avoiding you, slipping into the kitchen if he saw you flagging him down on the deck, and contrived some reason to leave if you entered his workspace.

As you suck on your straw deep in thought, refreshing taste of pineapple juice running down your throat, you decide to follow him back into the kitchen.  You could stand him losing interest, but him avoiding anything but basic pleasantries with you was too much for you to handle.

“Ah, hello there, dear!” he says when you enter the kitchen, refusing to meet your eyes and instead feigning interest in a recipe book on the counter.  “I was just about to check on Chopper and Luffy, did you need something?”

Another thinly veiled excuse.  He steals a glance at you, and tenses when he sees you’re not buying it.

“Sanji, you’ve been avoiding me.” you say, voice wavering.  You had intended it to come out far firmer, but your emotions were already getting the best of you before the conversation had even started.

He swallows hard, and turns to look at you.  The silence pounds in your ears at he carefully chooses his words.

“I think we should have this conversation somewhere more private.” he says, sending chills down your spine.  Unable to respond verbally, you nod and follow him to the aquarium bar, which was thankfully empty.  He closes and locks the door, and stands behind the bar across from you; the tabletop separating you felt wider than the ocean you were sailing on.  Despite him being the one to pull you away to talk, he finds it difficult to speak.

“So.  I’ve been avoiding you.” he says, cringing with guilt at vocalizing his intentions.  You remain silent, waiting to hear him out, and the pain in your stare breaks his heart.

“I’ve been avoiding you because I’m no good for you.” he says, staring downward and unable to bear your gaze any longer.  You still don’t speak, forcing him to keep spilling his heart out, an activity that had felt effortless before, and like knives on his tongue now.

“What kind of man leaves the woman he loves to marry someone else?” he asks, hands shaking.

“The kind that wants to protect his friends.” you say, gingerly reaching out to lay your palm on top of his.  He instinctively laces his fingers with yours, and the familiar touch pulls at his heartstrings.

“I did do it to protect you all, you know that, right dear?” he says, almost as if he was trying to convince himself that his betrayal was worth all of the pain it had caused.

“I know, Sanji.” you say, trying in vain to swallow the lump forming in your throat.  “And you were brave for doing it.”

“Not when I’ve hurt you like this—” he insists, tears pricking in his visible eye and grip on your hand tightening.

“Sanji, what’s hurting me is you avoiding me.” you say, interrupting him, and with a firmness to your voice that makes him twitch.  “What’s hurting me is you refusing to even talk to me and acting like everything we had was a dream and leaving me wondering if you ever truly cared about me at all.”  Even though it needed to be said, you immediately feel guilt for saying it as his head falls into his arm and chokes back sobs.

“Of course I care, darling,” he chokes out, “I’m trying to let you go because I care.  I don’t deserve you.  I didn’t deserve you then, and I don’t deserve you now.” he insists, words muffled by his sleeve.  You run your thumb across his hand in an attempt to comfort him, but it only seems to make him more distressed.  His reaction finally gets you to break, and now both of you were sobbing messes.

“Sanji, please don’t let me go.” you plead between gasps for air.  “I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you.  I should have come to you sooner to comfort you instead of letting you try to distance yourself from me.  I should have known better.”

Your gazes meet, red and watery from tears.  Desperately, you search his face for any sign of what his next words will be, but he stays as silent as you had been minutes before.  Just as he had done, you take a shaky breath and decide to continue.

“I love you, Sanji.  I love you with the constancy of the sun rising and the moon falling.  I love you unconditionally.  All I ask is that if you feel the same way, you stay by my side.”

Something changes in the glint of his eye as he’s suddenly stirred to life.  Normally he is the one for poetic, drawn out confessions of love, but you’ve rendered him speechless as he lets go of your hand and slides over the top of the bar—in any moment less dramatic than this you would have laughed—and stands in front of you, spinning you around in your stool to face him.

“I love you, dear.  On this day and every day, and all the days to come, I love you.” he whispers, softly caressing your face before leaning in to seal his confession with a kiss.  It starts out chaste, but quickly turns into something messy, emotional, and passionate.

“Do you have any idea how scared I was?  That I would never get to see your radiant face again and tell you how I felt?” he rasps.

“So was I, Sanji,” you whisper back,  “but I’m so glad I told you now.

[gojo-mochi]

Hi!! I love your writing so much, I'm so excited to have found your blog! :3 If you'd like, may I please request drabbles (or HCs if you prefer!) for Mihawk and Crocodile with a gn!reader, and like a really soft tender moment where they just get a break from everything and get to cuddle or just enjoy each other's company peacefully? Thank you so much!!

Soft Moments w/ Crocodile and Mihawk

A/N: EEEEEEeee thank you for being my very first request!!, I’m not that good at writing gn!reader I think but I’ll try my best! ૮₍っ ̫ •̥⸝⸝ ₎ა

Content Warning: Fluff. NonProof-read.

Crocodile:

It was meetings after meetings, Crocodile was gone or busy for most of the week, dealing with different types of idiots.

It's like the Grand Line keeps spawning a new type of stupid every day, I swear." Crocodile growled, plopping down on the couch. He pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to alleviate the headache he is having. You sat down next to him, placing a glass of water on the table in front of you. Patting his knee in solace. "It’s alright now, dear; let’s just forget about them, hmm?" You cooed, motioning for him to drink some water as well.

He sighs, grabbing the glass and chugging all its contents in one swig. Placing it back on the table, he turns to look at you with a softened expression, arms curling around your back and under your knee. Crocodiles picks you up and gently places you on his lap. Your own arms go to loop around his neck, cuddling in closer. Crocodile leans back on the couch with you in his arms, rubbing small circles on your back and planting light kisses on your forehead.

"Am glad you’re here…" He said,  voice muffled by your hair. You giggled at that, turning your head slightly to give a kiss back. "I’ll always be here for you, you know that."

He gave a small squeeze in response, and the both of you just stayed there for a while, in each other’s arms. You soon heard a light snoring coming from above you. Crocodile was slumped over, cheek pressed against your hair, mouth open to produce the light snoring you heard before. You smiled at the sight, letting out a small laugh, ‘I wonder what those idiots would think if they saw you like this.’ You thought in your head.

You pivoted around slowly, putting your hand on Crocodile’s shoulder, trying to guide him down to lay fully on the couch. He mumbled something as he sank down onto the couch, making sure to pull you along with him. You shifted around some more until you were more comfortable. Now laying on top of Crocodile, his arms snaked tightly around you, you sigh contently, drifting off into your slumber.

Mihawk:

You were both in the library, reading your own choice of literature. Your legs sat upon Mihawk’s lap; you were reading a mystery novel full of twists and turns that made you "Ooh" and "Ahh" out loud at certain passages. You gasped particularly loudly at a scene where the true killer was revealed. Mihawk smiled at your antics, watching you with piercing golden eyes. "Oh my! I knew it was the maid all along!" You snapped your fingers at the book, almost vibrating with excitement.

Mihawk raised an eyebrow at you. "If I recall correctly, earlier you said the killer ‘Had to be the gardener’ no?" He asked with a small smirk tugging on the side of his lips. You blushed a bit and huffed out, "I was just kidding… I always knew it was the maid, just keeping you on your toes, alright?".

Mihawk sends you a look, which you return by sticking out your tongue at him. He doesn’t try to hide his laugh now, openly chuckling at your cuteness.

 "If you are done with your reading, come closer; I wish to embrace you."

The way he said it so casually made your heart skip a couple beats. You scoot closer to him, fully nestling down on his lap, head tucked beneath his chin. He rested a hand on your waist, softly rubbing circles on your hip, while the other carried the current book he was still reading. You peer over to take a look at the book’s content. "So, what’cha reading there?" You asked, trying to skim the page he was on.

 He hummed, angling the book so you could get a better view, "A romance novel, quite intriguing so far." He answered, "Would you like to read it together?".

"Only if I could do voices for the characters." You jested. Mihawk let out a snort at that but nodded nonetheless. Shifting you closer to his chest, Mihawk began to read the first line of the page. You follow in kind, making sure to do perfect voices for each character you come across. Mihawk tried to do a voice for a drunkard that appeared, by mimicking a certain red haired emperor. It almost made you fall off the couch if his arm wasn’t secured around your waist.

You spent the rest of the day in each other's arms, just like this, in your own little romance world.

[elleloquently]

invisible string [8] : ellie williams

part seven

| college!ellie x female!reader - welcome to the final part of invisible string! i am so sad to be ending this short series, but extremely excited for you all to read it!! i really hope you'll like it... a lot of time was spent getting it right (: thank you guys for being so patient with me! also- thank you to all of my readers <3 special shout out to those of you who have been following this story since the first part was posted. your kindness and encouragement has meant everything to me <3 ilysm

| c/w - anxiety, swearing

it was jarring, the transition from speaking to not.

your friendship with ellie started all at once and fizzled out even quicker, no lasting proof besides the sticky notes that remained on your wall.

it felt silly, looking at them everyday. you wondered if it was inappropriate, keeping them around and on display. truthfully, you still had a little bit of hope left. if you took them down, that would certainly be the end.

she was only a part of your life for a short time, but the week had felt empty without ellie.

ellie hadn't made a move, so you didn't either.

the time apart made it easier to think though, easier to differentiate your thoughts without ellie clouding your senses.

normal friendships shouldn't feel so dramatic. they shouldn't have so many lingering stares, ghosting touches, and unsaid words. at least, you didn't think so. you hadn't experienced a friendship like that before. desperate to say it all yet too scared to say anything at all, you simultaneously wanted to tell ellie everything yet keep yourself a secret, a closed off book forever.

normal friendships shouldn't require that much thought.

the idea nagged at you continuously and you had no choice but to allow it. it was december, finals were wrapping up and the promise of winter break was no longer just around the corner, it was here.

things were always a little awkward, even when they were good. tension.

things hadn't felt weird in a bad way until the mention of jesse and dina. any color had promptly drained from ellie's face, and she was too quick to get away. you were confident that you hadn't misspoke. surely it was something on ellie's end, but it bothered you nonetheless. you had to have been apart of it.

thinking about ellie made you feel selfish, because it almost felt vain to weigh the ways in which she could potentially care about you. reading into stolen glances was a pastime that possibly could've been increasing your vanity. you didn't typically have such thoughts such as oh, i look pretty today, that must be why she keeps looking at me.

you missed looking at ellie. how pathetic but true, it had only been a few days but surely your journal was tired of hearing about it.

you quickly learned that ellie seemed a little impulsive, driven by her stubbornness. well, two can play at that game. you wouldn't even text her.

you half hoped that your absence would make her grow more fond at the idea of you, though maybe you had only pushed her away further. no texts, no anything.

sure, it was finals week. but still.

half of your clothes were packed away, piles around your room that you would swear was an organized method. studying didn't really do you any good, your last final was here and you were drained. you felt like an idiot for being more concerned about ellie, but you had done fine in the class all semester anyway.

snow was finally starting to pile on the ground. you would appreciate the beauty more after your final was finished, when it didn't matter if your hair grew wet from the melting flakes.

campus was quiet and relatively empty as you hurried to the building in which your final would take place. you liked being early, and refused to push the time limit for an exam. maybe the thought of seeing ellie again made your feet move a little quicker, but you focused on rehearsing the study guide in your head during your walk.

your heart pounded with every step. despite actually enjoying the class, you never felt relaxed at the idea of an exam. you had been so focused on ellie, it didn't really sink in that you would be sitting still in a silent room, clock ticking quietly as you would try your best to answer each question. what if you couldn't even focus?

it was too late to worry, and too early to resign yourself yet.

you made it in time, twenty minutes early, your specialty, but quite a few people already occupied the classroom. it wasn't anything out of the ordinary, though. people usually arrived early for finals. the satisfied smile slipped off of your lips however when you noticed that ellie wasn't around.

your heart dropped.

did she opt to take the exam early? what if you had already saw her for the last time, and you had no idea?

you sunk into your seat, wanting to text ellie but you were starting to forget the wording of a definition that you were trying to memorize last minute. sparing a quick glance at your phone, you decided to pull out your study guide instead for a last review.

how the fuck were you supposed to focus?

it was technically still early, but you pulse quickened everytime someone that wasn't ellie walked into the room.

what if ellie wasn't coming? even if things were weird, you guys had become friends. it would be fucked up just to never say bye, right? unless she wasn't as emotionally invested in the situation as you were... which, let's be honest...

the door was heaved open once again and you tried not to look disappointed when in walked a guy from your class. you refocused your gaze on your study notes when suddenly a muttered "thank you" pulled you out of your thoughts.

the guy was holding the door open for someone, but you didn't need to look to know who it was.

in walked ellie, shoulders straight and eyes set. you opened your mouth, ready to say something, but she walked right past you and towards the desk that she previously sat in, before you became friends.

your eyebrows furrowed and it felt like the final nail.

but she hesitated.

ellie hesitated before backpedaling and sat down in the empty spot next to you. the act alone practically gave you an ego.

she didn't glance at you even once, and somehow that felt even more obvious than if she would've looked at you. despite the circumstance you felt giddy, determined to redeem yourself for a mistake that you didn't even make.

you eyed ellie. she was trying so hard not to glance in your direction, it was cute. you had to try. you'd regret it if you didn't. you mentally debated which was worse, regret or embarrassment.

"so," you began, wanting to sound confident instead of squeaky with nerves. "on a scale of one to ten, how fucked do you think you are for the final?"

ellie's eyes widened and you tried, you really did, not to break out into a grin.

you continued. "i think i'm standing at a solid..." you pretended to think, drawing your eyebrows together as you looked to the ceiling, but you already knew what you were going to say. "...six?"

ellie snorted. "do you just memorize everything that i say?" she quipped, finally turning toward you.

your smile was sly once you looked away from her. "i don't know what you're talking about?"

ellie rolled her eyes, but you were finally speaking again and it was so good. a little late maybe, but good.

"don't copy me," ellie said, her words clipped. you knew she was joking. "anyway, you're gonna do better than a six. you organize your notes like a crazy person."

you frowned at the teasing statement but your heart skipped a beat anyway. ellie couldn't seem to meet your eyes and it made you feel greedy, desperate to get to the bottom of things.

"how have you been?" you asked, casually enough.

ellie looked at you as though you had posed a trick question.

"it's finals week," she replied flatly, but there was something else there.

you nodded. "right, but..." you quietly trailed off. there was no point in starting a big conversation with the exam merely minutes away.

ellie seemed visibly uncomfortable.

"the last time we talked, i..." ellie began to speak without knowing where she was going to end her sentence. you really needed to memorize that definition from earlier.

you flung open your notes. "it's fine," you dismissed. it wasn't really, but maybe you didn't want to do this now.

ellie winced. "it's not," she disagreed.

last week she had practically left you in the dust. now she wants to get confrontational?

"ellie," you frowned. "do you want to look through my notes? i have the ones from the section that i helped you with, that day in the library?" you looked up curiously, hand hovering over the pages incase she accepted.

ellie laughed, short and breathy. "i'm okay."

her tone was polite and light, a drastic change from how awkward she was just being. you carried on, quickly scanning paragraphs. cramming was never helpful, but you couldn't help yourself.

"i didn't really need your notes," ellie mumbled, looking away from you and at her hands instead.

you barely caught on to the uttered confession. "hm?"

her words took a second to register in your brain, to which you finally pulled your gaze away from your notes.

"are you declining my help in a passive aggressive way, or do you have something to say?" you asked quickly, the words tumbling out of your mouth before you could think it over. the classrooms were always too hot this time of year. your hands felt too dry and the feeling of them against paper was driving you crazy.

"what? no," ellie quickly corrected, shifting nervously in her seat.

you leaned over to unzip your bag that was on the floor, leaning against your chair. "i was just asking," you mumbled, pulling a small bottle of lotion from it's secure place in your bag.

ellie watched carefully as you applied a small amount to your hands. the sweet, floral notes reached her nose and she craned her neck in an attempt to read the scent name on the decorated tube.

"ellie?" you pressed, zipping your bag shut once again when you were finished with the lotion. ellie's sentence was unfinished, and you were running on little to no patience.

"i'm sorry," she breathed out. it wasn't what you were expecting and you blinked in surprise.

you would've clung to her every word, but you'd rather it be saved until your finals were over. you couldn't tell if it was a good i'm sorry or a bad one, and the result might genuinely impact your grade. it had to be discussed, you couldn't live with it being left alone. you debated biting the bullet and just asking if she wanted to hang out, but the idea of rejection made you hot in the face.

there it was again, regret or embarrassment.

if she said no, the embarrassment would most likely creep over you every night when you tried to sleep, but at least you wouldn't have to face her again. last chance.

you came out of your thought by noticing the dejected look on ellie's face. right, she said sorry.

"ellie," you tried again. "are you busy after this... or, or tonight?" you tried not to make it sound weighted, but you didn't think that you succeeded.

something of a surprised smile registered on ellie's face that she tried to suppress.

"after this?" ellie questioned, her words rushed. there wasn't much time to converse anymore. the final exam was looming.

you nodded. ellie blinked. "yes. sure," she responded, a little dazed.

satisfaction bloomed within you. it wasn't over yet.

thank god, you didn't have to work your way through this exam battling tears of rejection and heartache.

you wanted to say more, but the time that you had been prepping for weeks was finally upon you. you were stupidly emotional about the class ending. this class brought you ellie. this final was the reason for your budding friendship with ellie. you didn't want whatever this was with ellie to end with the class. you would finish the exam, and then you would talk.

"hey," ellie muttered, getting your attention quickly before the exams were handed out. "good luck," she said warmly.

you didn't bother hiding your smile. "good luck," you replied sincerely. you spared ellie one more quick glance before tuning in to focus.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

ellie left the exam before you did. she had finished first, only by a few minutes, but your heart raced. you were nearly done, just checking over answers when ellie had stood up, turned in her final, and left. she looked back at you before she had walked out of the doors. you had made eye contact. and then she was gone.

you skimmed all of the pages, making sure you had answered every question. your stomach hurt. did she leave? did she just leave?!

granted, of course, you could text her later. hopefully she would respond. but it was hard to make sense of any rational thoughts after the image of her leaving.

you did your best. you even felt fairly confident. you blindly gathered your things and turned in your exam, wishing your professor a final farewell and a happy winter break.

you pulled your phone out of your pocket upon exiting the classroom, hoping to see a text from ellie. instead, you simply saw ellie.

"oh," you said audibly.

ellie's head snapped up as soon as you appeared in the hallway. she was sitting on a bench outside of the classroom. she was waiting.

"how'd it go?" she asked hopefully.

you breathed a sigh of relief that turned into a laugh. she waited for you. the weight of the exam had been lifted off of your shoulders. now the only thing left that was bringing you down was where you stood with ellie.

"it's over," you mused, relieved that for a little while, there would be no assignments or tests to leave you in a tizzy. "what about you?"

ellie smiled in response, but her expression was lacking happiness. "we're free."

you nodded slowly, wanting to get on with it but at the same time feeling perfectly content with the small talk.

"so," you started, but the classroom door flung open causing you to flinch. another student completed the exam, exiting into the hallway. you stepped aside, drawing closer to ellie. "wanna get out of here?"

"do you have the time?" ellie questioned, looking at you almost accusingly.

your eyes narrowed. "yes," you emphasized. "that was my last exam. I am officially on winter break. also... you were the one that disappeared the last time we talked."

ellie paled, focusing her gaze on her converse. "yeah. about that..."

a small group of people came down the hallway. ellie stood up and gave you a look. "let's get out of here," she affirmed.

you trailed behind her, wringing your hands. what exactly were you even supposed to say? was this supposed to be some sort of all or nothing situation, because you really weren't very good at those...

once ellie noticed that you weren't at her side, she halted. "are... you okay?" she asked, looking unsure.

you nodded, eyes wide. you could see out of the doors, snow was falling once again. it was really starting to stick to the ground, too. the sight made your heart swell. "'it's snowing," you mumbled, awkwardly gesturing with your hand.

ellie let out a dry chuckle. "yeah, it is," she remarked, a soft smile painting itself on her lips. "wanna go to my dorm?"

you nodded once more, absentmindedly. ellie held the door open and you stepped outside, mentally welcoming the snow.

the walk was quiet. awkward. neither of you bothered with anymore small talk. it felt weird, saving the conversation until you arrived in ellie's dorm. you were anxious to see if she still had your doodles on her wall.

you made it in record time, motivated by the cold and slippery sidewalk. ellie laughed at you once you entered the building, stomping your shoes to rid them of any snow.

"you have snowflakes. in your eyelashes," ellie murmured, placing a careful hand under your chin to direct your gaze so she could examine them.

you stilled and held your breath, the feeling of her touch warming your body so much that you felt desperate to shed your coat.

"they'll melt," you whispered with an uneasy laugh.

ellie caught herself and removed her touch. your stomach flipped.

"i thought one time you said something about not liking when they melted on your eyelashes. something about your mascara running?" ellie teased, leading the way to her room.

"yeah, so i buy waterproof," you explained as if it were obvious.

ellie clicked her tongue and unlocked her door. "right. silly me," she breathed, stepping aside to let you into her room first. every action like that brought you butterflies.

you tried not to make it obvious, but you immediately looked for the notes on her wall. once your eyes landed on them, you breathed a sigh of relief. they were still there. suddenly you didn't feel so weird about keeping them on your wall either.

the room smelled like ellie. you wanted to soak it in.

ellie took off her coat, placed her bag on the floor and then dropped her coat on top of it. you followed suit, tucking your bag into a corner and shrugging off your coat. you were going to put it on the floor too, but ellie grabbed it from your hand and hung it on the back of a chair.

your cheeks warmed and you looked away.

"i feel like we should be studying or something," you tried with a small laugh.

"or something," ellie mused.

she sat on her bed, legs hanging over the side. you stood in front of ellie, avoiding eye contact.

"can i get you anything?" ellie awkwardly offered after a moment. "i don't have much left but i can offer you the water that's left in my bottle."

you rolled your eyes despite the corners of your lips, which quirked upwards. "charming. i'll pass, thank you."

"suit yourself," ellie sighed.

you were both trying way too hard to sound nonchalant. you hated it.

you stood awkwardly, not sure what to do with your hands. after a moment of hesitation, you finally made the plunge.

"ellie, did i like... say something? or do... something?"

you were scared of her answer, scared that maybe you really had been embarrassing yourself all along and now you wouldn't hear the end of it.

she looked resigned. you could tell that she was debating something, the way her eyes flicked away from your face and her eyebrows drew together.

"you didn't do anything," ellie confirmed. you could tell that she was physically working up to something. "i thought maybe... dina and jesse? i thought they might've said something stupid," she uttered.

you tilted your head in confusion, but your heart beat sped up. your mind flashed back to that moment, someone that ellie likes.

"they didn't," you reassured.

"yeaah, that's what they said too. i guess i just kinda... freaked." ellie replied, scratching the back of her neck.

"they were really nice," you offered awkwardly. "i didn't mean to make you feel weird or anything."

you even tried to avoid it, but you didn't have to explain that now. it's not like you would have actually hung out with dina and jesse... no offense to them of course, but you didn't know them so the idea made you feel extremely uncomfortable.

"you didn't," ellie pressed, adamant about not making you feel bad. "i thought that maybe i did."

you scrunched up your nose. "is that why you said the thing about freaking me out? because you really didn't."

ellie nodded. "i just thought they said something dumb. or something they shouldn't have said," she reiterated. ellie kicked off her converse.

your eyes widened, immediately thinking the worst. surely ellie was not the type of person to be nice to your face and then talk poorly about you to her friends? you honestly felt that if she didn't like you, you obviously wouldn't be standing in her room. still, the nagging thought persisted.

"something like what?" you asked, your voice coming out sharper than you intended.

"nothing bad, i just- dude, i feel like i'm on trial when you're just standing there like that."

your cheeks heated in embarrassment. "sorry," you mumbled, taking off your shoes and carefully tucking them next to your bag. you sat on the edge of her bed, and ellie turned to face you.

ellie's eyes scanned your features once you sighed.

"this is so dumb," you muttered. to your surprise, ellie laughed in relief.

"i was being weird. and i shouldn't have been," ellie clarified. "i'm sorry i made you feel bad."

the sincerity made you feel awkward. "it's okay. we're good?"

"we're good," ellie confirmed.

you blinked, forcing a smile onto your face. you were ready for this part to be over but there was still so much to be said.

you tore your eyes away from ellie, studying the solar system poster above her bed. "i still haven't seen the planetarium," you uttered wistfully.

ellie tilted her head, staring at you while you were unaware. "i'll take you," she said automatically, the words leaving her before she was able to doubt herself.

a ghost of a smile flickered on your lips.

"i think i've only been to a planetarium a couple times, as a kid," you said, eyes glancing over the starry map.

ellie smiled, quickly glancing from your lips to your eyes.

"for my sixteenth birthday, joel took me to this awesome museum," ellie began. her tone was wistful yet determined, voice laced with her best storytelling inflections.

you turned to face her again. ellie's eyes lit up while she spoke.

"it was a science and history museum," ellie explained. you smiled at her easy enthusiasm. "-and it had this planetarium that was the coolest fucking thing i've ever seen."

the smile quickly left your lips once your mouth dropped open in realization. "oh! the pictures!" you scrambled off of ellie's bed, leaving her to look confused and mildly concerned.

"pictures?" she questioned, getting up to follow after you. you lead her to the wall that was covered in all of her drawings and photos. you could've sworn that you remembered them. you scanned her wall, looking for two pictures in particular as your face scrunched up in concentration.

"there!" you pointed excitedly. the two photos that you remembered, ellie in an astronaut helmet grinning wildly at the camera, and ellie and joel wearing hats, posed in front of a massive dinosaur display.

"are those from your birthday?" you asked, stomach twisting with your words. you hoped that you were right, or else it might be embarrassing. maybe it was embarrassing anyway, the fact that you had so vividly remembered those photos.

ellie chuckled. "yeah actually, they are."

ellie bumped your shoulder, causing you to grin at her decorated wall.

"i love how many pictures you have," you sighed. "i have such a cute camera, but i always forget to take pictures in the moment." you explained with a frown.

"bring it when we go to the planetarium," ellie suggested plainly, as if her entire sentence didn't completely cause your pulse to quicken.

when.

we.

"okay," you replied flatly, wondering if ellie could tell how uneven your breathing had gotten. fueled by blind courage, you stared at astronaut ellie when you spoke. "i'm leaving tomorrow, though. going home for break."

"we'll go after break," she clarified, looking at you.

you turned your head to meet her eyes, willing yourself not to flinch at how close your faces were. the green of her eyes were always enchanting, but this close?

you swallowed hard. "okay," you agreed.

and it was official. ellie wanted to keep seeing you after break. you had done the impossible college task, turn a class friend into a real friend.

friend. honestly, it was laughable.

"okay," ellie repeated in a whisper. her eyes bore into yours and you were frozen, wanting to pull away but your body stayed still, feet planted. she was so intense.

you forced your body to move, turning your head away from her and taking a step back. you heard ellie sigh as you moved.

"i was never trying to blow you off," you confessed suddenly, once your back was to ellie.

you obviously had caught her off guard by the way in which she hummed in surprise. admittedly, you had caught yourself off guard too, but it had been weighing on your conscience too much. you couldn't ignore the signs anymore, and as much as you would have loved to wait around for ellie to make the first move, she was too concerned about potentially freaking you out.

"remember when you asked me if i wanted to go to the dining hall with you? the first time," you clarified. "and i said that i was free the rest of the day." you busied yourself by straightening the green throw blanket on ellie's bed.

ellie nodded, even though your back was turned. "yeah?"

"and then i stopped hanging out with you after class."

"yeah."

"i... um, i lied," you confessed suddenly, whirling around to face her.

ellie's features were etched in confusion. "lied about what?" she pressed, her voice low.

all of your insecurities felt heightened by how intensely she was staring at you. you felt cowardly, explaining the next part.

"i lied about being free?" you mumbled, face hot.

ellie's eyebrows knitted together, as if to say go on...

"i have another class on those days, like, about an hour later. but... i lied and said i was done for the day because... i wanted to... hang out?"

you mentally lost your footing but got there eventually, holding your breath once you finished your sentence. the silence was daunting until ellie suddenly laughed.

"are you fucking kidding me?" she asked, eyes wide.

"n-no?"

ellie shook her head. "why didn't you just tell me that?" ellie laughed, clearly amused.

"because it's embarrassing?" you said, believing it to be obvious.

"well, yeah," ellie mused. you visibly deflated.

ellie managed to hold back her laughter as she took a small step towards you. "you could've told me," she reiterated more seriously.

"sure i could've," you mumbled, rolling your eyes. "i was too nervous. it felt so stupid."

"you skipped class to hang out with me?" ellie's eyes glinted with bemusement. you wished she would stop looking at you, you needed a break. you quite literally felt like you were burning up.

"so what?" you snapped in defense, and ellie's laughter escaped her. you frowned, crossing your arms.

"i just wish that i knew that before," ellie shrugged, taking another step towards you. you countered it by taking a small step backwards.

"yeah well..." you shrugged. "i'm sorry. it's weird."

ellie immediately shook her head. "it's not," she pressed. she went from joking to being serious so quickly. god she made your head spin.

"i just didn't wanna-" you were quickly cut off by ellie.

"freak me out?" she finished. your blank expression was enough of a confirmation.

"imagine how i felt," ellie pointed out. "i thought that maybe i... i don't know," she shrugged it off. it wasn't fair, you were totally embarrassed and she kept brushing things off. it was infuriating. she looked so cute in her hoodie.

"maybe you what?" you pressed once again. finish your sentences, ellie.

ellie took a deep breath. "maybe i scared you off."

you shook your head slowly. yeah, these conversations were not typical in normal friendships.

"you didn't," you said. your words were quiet but weighted. you prayed for ellie to catch onto the implication. please please please-

ellie took a step closer. you took a step back. your body knocked against ellie's bed and you straightened your knees.

"good," she said simply, not breaking eye contact.

"okay, enough about that," you laughed weakly. "why did you want to hang out with me in the first place?" you questioned, attempting to change your tone.

ellie's eyebrows raised. "seriously?" she asked flatly, unimpressed with your question.

whatever. this so wasn't fun.

"how would you recommend going about making friends?" ellie asked tauntingly.

"oh, you're putting me on the spot again. let's not do that anymore," you suggested. ellie laughed suddenly and rolled her eyes.

"my bad," she joked, throwing her hands in the air to resign. you smiled but the butterflies in your stomach made you feel sick.

you threw her an accusing look but she grinned, enjoying whatever this situation was. you almost felt jealous, wondering what it was that you could have possibly done that managed to boost her confidence.

"besides, you never answer any of my questions," you argued.

"well you just have so many," ellie mumbled and then frowned. "and yes i do," she defended. "i just answered your question about those pictures being from my birthday."

"ellie," you complained.

ellie mocked your tone, saying your name as a complaint.

you appeared unamused, willing the corners of your lips not to turn up.

ellie dropped the joke-y smile and genuinely appeared to be conflicted. you worried that you pressed too far, maybe things didn't need to come out right now, but you stayed silent anyway.

"fine," ellie finally said. "ask me."

"ask you what?" you quickly questioned.

"just ask me."

heart pounding, you remained still as ellie took another hesitant step towards you. you felt as though there were so many things that could go wrong. it was all dangling, right in front of you. one wrong move or one right move, you couldn't decide which it was, and everything would be out in the open. you were terrified, wanting to immediately backpedal but at the same time, you were starting to feel addicted to the adrenaline of being around ellie. you wanted to ask her so many questions but also, nothing at all.

at once it came to you, and the final exam that you had just taken felt like it had been days ago.

you wrinkled your nose. "what did you mean when you said you didn't really need my notes?"

the expression that registered on ellie's face made you feel as though you had asked the incorrect question.

"i just mean, you didn't say that you don't need my notes, you said that you didn't need my notes which doesn't make sense because-"

"i lied," ellie cut you off.

you gaped at her and ellie took another step, this one even more hesitant. you couldn't move away any further. you resigned and sat down on her bed.

"about what?" you asked, and your voice came out more quiet than you had intended. you felt like your heart was pounding in your ears.

"i didn't need your notes."

"i know, you said you didn't but-"

"no, i didn't need your notes," ellie tried again. "i never needed your notes."

she was treading lightly and you could tell. ellie tried meeting your eyes, but you stared down at your hands in your lap.

"you never needed my notes," you repeated softly.

ellie nodded once, encouraging your train of thought. she let it linger, only for a moment before clarifying. "in the library. the study group."

what?

"you never needed my notes?" your head snapped up, eyes wide as you finally met ellie's gaze. she slowly shook her head, trying to gage your reaction.

you felt humiliated, as if you had forced ellie to study with you even though that certainly wasn't the case at all. she had even encouraged it, initiated it even, but dread still filled a pit in your stomach.

"but you said that you were there for the study group!" you said, grasping for straws. ellie chuckled.

"yeah, i was. just not for the reason you thought."

you tilted your head to the side. "go on," you said, raising an eyebrow.

"i didn't need help. i wasn't there to get help. i was actually there to give help, but the person didn't show up," ellie explained.

you blinked once, slowly. you repeated her words in your mind. you let it sink in.

"oh my god," you muttered, partly in disbelief. "why did you let me help you?"

"becauuse," ellie carefully sat next to you. "i figured... if you thought that i needed help, you would stay."

her expression remained stoic despite the red blush that was creeping up onto her face. your stomach flipped.

"and i stayed," you uttered.

"you stayed," ellie confirmed. "mission accomplished," she offered weakly.

she wanted you to stay. she acted like she needed your notes so you would stay.

ellie was watching you carefully, but you didn't feel pressured to react. you wiped your palms on your pants.

"okay," you began calmly. "i hate study groups. i hate the awkward conversation, being around people that never actually speak to me. i never go to those things. the only reason that i went was because you asked me about it in class. and so i thought that i might see you there. and i wanted to see you," you added the last part, letting the words fall into the open.

"you're fucking with me," ellie immediately said.

"i'm not," you argued, defensive and buzzing.

ellie clicked her tongue in disbelief, eyeing you. shorter strands of hair always fell into her face. you wanted to swipe them away.

"jesus," ellie mused.

"is that why you wanted me to stay? you wanted to be friends?"

ellie winced at friends, and you inwardly cringed.

dear god.

"not friends," you quickly clarified. "well, friends, but..." your voice failed you, but maybe it was for the better. you wished you weren't wearing a sweater, too warm.

ellie said your name, quietly to get your attention. you met her eyes. her mouth slipped into a sly smile when she spoke.

"i sat next you because i thought that you were pretty," she uttered pointedly.

oh! like like like!

your mind and face went blank. "oh," you laughed after a second.

"oh?" ellie questioned, watching you carefully.

ellie leaned into you, elbows propped on her legs. you swallowed hard. you felt like you were watching yourself instead of actively experiencing what was happening. it was dreamlike.

"you're the only reason i haven't skipped class all semester," you blurted out. you grimaced, twisting it into a nervous smile. okay, sure, no time like the present.

ellie looked at you curiously, cocking her head to the side. "really?"

"really," you confirmed, running your fingers along the blanket on her bed.

"you definitely weren't obvious," ellie murmured, looking at you in amusement.

"i wasn't supposed to be, are you kidding? this is humiliating."

"is it?" ellie questioned, eyebrows raised in concern despite the smirk on her face.

"sort of? oh my god, i feel so dumb. i had the biggest-" you paused in hesitation, the word crush hadn't been used yet and you were reluctant to be the first.

like like like!

"i wanted to talk to you all semester," you corrected, still burning with embarrassment. "and when you sat next to me, well, i know that technically i sat next to you but that was my seat first so really all i was doing was sitting in my normal seat where i had sat every other day but then you decided to move seats so really-"

you rambles were cut off, surprisingly, pleasantly, by ellie leaning inwards and placing her hands on your shoulders. you were suddenly pulled towards her as ellie closed the gap between the two of you.

her lips, warm and a little chapped, met your own without a moment's notice. your eyes widened in surprise before you forced them shut, melting into ellie as she brought a careful hand to the side of your face. your heart pounded, butterflies exploded in your stomach and yet you tried not to think, only to enjoy it.

like!

the kiss lasted merely seconds before ellie pulled away, lifting her hands away from you. they hovered above you, the ghost of her touch lingering. you already missed it. ellie quickly scanned your face for any indication of feeling.

you were lost for words, every hopeless hope that you had held and carried with you for weeks turned out not to be hopeless after all. now probably wasn’t the best time to feel shy, but nerves consumed you.

despite them though, you laughed. “so when jesse said someone that ellie likes…”

“yes,” ellie confirmed.

you grinned. “me too.”

“yeah?” ellie asked softly.

you hummed in response, allowing your eyes to flutter shut as ellie leaned in once again. you allowed yourself to be kissed, drowning out your nervous feelings with complete and total bliss.

you pulled away first this time, drawing your knees up to your chest.

"how long?" you inquired, peering to the spot on the wall where the sticky notes were on display.

"since the first day, when a pretty girl was in my class and i had to take the seat in front of her."

"me?" you whispered, as if you were being let in on a secret. in a way, you supposed, you were.

ellie nodded enthusiastically.

"me too," you said with a frown. "good thing you finally spoke to me, 'cause class would've ended before i had the chance."

"good thing," ellie agreed with a hum. you wanted to kiss her again.

"so, is there a reason i got invited to lunch? they said something about you canceling all the time," you mused.

ellie waved it off. "just dina being dina. i was canceling but... there was only so much time left in the semester to try and impress you," ellie joked wistfully.

you shook your head in disbelief. "i can't believe this."

"you? what about me?" ellie countered. "when i saw you that night at the bar, with that guy? god, i was fucking praying that you didn't have a boyfriend or something."

"cute," you responded simply, to which ellie wrinkled her nose.

"oh, and when i gave you my number?" ellie continued on, talking animatedly now. "and you didn't text me at all during the entire weekend?" ellie shook her head, letting out a breathy laugh. "i thought it was over for me."

"i was so scared," you admitted.

"it's okay," ellie reassured you. "we got to the bottom of it."

you smiled, looking at your hands. the silence that ensued was comfortable.

"were you ever going to tell me?" you asked finally.

ellie sighed heavily, scanning your face. "i don't know. i wasn't sure if you wanted me to. i had to be sure." she looked down at your hands, fidgeting and wringing.

you nodded in understanding. "you were sort of driving me crazy these past few weeks. i couldn't tell if you actually liked me or if i was overreacting to everything."

"oh, join the club," ellie mused.

okay, note to self, trust your gut feeling. unless anxiety is controlling your gut feeling. then… disregard completely. other note to self, try to figure out the difference between a real gut feeling and an anxious, fake gut feeling.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

you talked and talked with ellie until the sun went down. you had hardly noticed it had gotten dark. the shades and curtains were open, once letting in the natural light from the day. the room grew dark as night fell, but neither of you moved from the bed. you sat, talking and laughing and whispering and you wondered how cheesy you would seem if you pinched yourself.

time ticked by no matter how much you opposed it, and the threat of morning weighed heavy on you.

"i'll walk you," ellie insisted once you were putting on your shoes.

you glanced out of the window. snow was piling up quickly. it was beautiful to look at, but you dreaded the walk back to your dorm.

"are you kidding? no way," you refused. you felt bad enough the last time that ellie had walked you home, and that night's weather was nice compared to tonight.

"are you kidding?" ellie began putting on her shoes, lacing up her converse.

"i'm just going to go," you threatened flatly.

"okay, i'll just trail behind you and try not to look like a total creep," ellie retorted.

you pushed out a breath of air, trying not to smile. ellie had her jacket on quicker than you did anyway.

when ellie asked if you had gloves this time, you were proud to pull them out of your coat pocket to show her.

"a hat?" ellie questioned next.

"i can't find my earmuffs," you grumbled.

in response, ellie placed her own hat on your head, tugging it down so that it covered your ears with a look of determination on her face.

the walk was peaceful, though trudging through the quickly fallen snow had proven to be difficult. it was beautiful though, and ellie guided you with a careful hand on your arm so you could focus your gaze upward, at the falling snowflakes.

when you arrived at your dorm, you both hesitated in the cold despite your noses turning red.

"ellie, do you want to come in fo-"

"yes," ellie quickly answered. you grinned.

yourself and ellie spent two more hours talking together. you stood back and observed while ellie paced around your room, looking at pictures and trinkets. everything about her was endearing. the shy smile that graced her lips upon seeing the sticky notes on your wall was the reason behind your third kiss that night.

when ellie finally had to leave, she parted with promises to text when she had made it safely. and she did.

you traced her name from the sticky note over and over, emotions swelling inside of you. despite the calm you felt fairly overwhelmed, left with so much to process. positively overwhelmed, at least. no longer would you lose sleep, analyzing and overthinking trying to figure out if ellie could truly like you.

like like like!

you would see her again after break, it was certain. you would text her, not worrying if ellie didn't really want you to have her number.

after all, she gave it to you for a reason... just as she reminded you before leaving for her dorm.

so of course, you promised to text her.

and you did.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

tags :

@pinkfillerose @whore-era @lilisvlibrary @elliefilms @whteflwcrs @jasontoddsdreamgirl @icedcold @sarahsmileslikesarahd0esntcare @evanpetersluver @muthafuckingstargirl @pctcr @illicitghosts @mell0w-mushr00m @queen-arya22 @deafelliewilliams @urmyheartshaka @yourfrenchteacher @me-and-your-husband @blairfox04 @saturnsrem @poopedmypants47 @shehitdenaenae @jrjlc

[fragileruns]

oops hehe sorry i got super excited i forgot to give a plot line!!! as for plot, could we get smthing where reader is the complete opposite of tangerine (shy, timid sweetheart) and yet he’s still so drawn to her so he starts to routinely visit the place she works at (book shop, cafe, wtvr u want) and she has a bf who’s not the best to her n takes advantage of her kindness and trust, so tangerine helps her n talks her thru standing up for herself and even teaches her self defense just in case. tan starts to fall for her more n more and sees her as smthing precious, and reader is so captivated by this sexy intelligent man. n then one day tan is chilling at the cafe drinking coffee and reading (basically guarding her bc he’s protective hehe) bc she decided she was gnna break up w her bf and then when said bf comes in and she tries to end things, he starts getting aggressive and causing a scene so then our sexy tan just steps in all casually and shuts him down real fast and then that’s when reader’s heart skips a beat bc she realizes she likes tan (and tan may actually like her too) and so tan kicks ex’s ass to the curb and then checks on reader and calls her his “little badass” since she used her self defense on her ex when he tried getting handsy with her.

basically just some cuteeeeee fluff with some witty banter and unrequited love at the beginning but watching it grow into smthing more <3 thank again love

hi! sorry this isn’t exactly what you wanted but i didn’t feel patient enough to make it into a long fic, and i didn’t want to trigger anyone by adding actual abuse in here so i switched it a bit! let me know if you want something redone but hopefully it’s still good

tangerine x reader. content warnings: mentions of violent tones & the guy pushes tan but that’s it, cussing, female!reader, i didn’t realize how off i had written this until it was almost done so i’m sorry please rerequest if you’d like me to retry!

Tangerine was currently sitting in his usual seat, one right to the side of the counter you were working at. It granted him the best possible view (you) as he drank small sips out of this coffee cup, ‘reading’ the book in front him. Really, he was much more focused on watching you work.

He had been here for well over two hours and usually, he would have forced himself to leave by now. There was only so long he could stay without causing suspicion. Even when it was you - poor, oblivious you who couldn’t seem to realize that the only reason he ever came in was to see you.

However, after finding out about your asshole of a boyfriend from eavesdropping on your conversation (you were standing right beside him on your break, and how was he meant to ignore the insults being thrown at you when they were so blatantly untrue?), he had decided to make a bold step and tell you that you needed to stand up for yourself. Ever since then, you seemed to continuously have new questions about how to go about it since.

You opened up to him once, just a few days ago, about how you wanted to leave your boyfriend, how you were tired of feeling torn apart everyday, but you were scared. He had never been directly violent to you, but he was a strong guy, and you weren’t sure how he would take it. You didn’t want to become a victim. So, Tangerine had quickly suggested doing it in a public place where there were more people around to make sure you were alright. When you still didn’t seem sure, he asked if it’d help if he was there. You said yes.

So, he was spending the day at the cafe, the both of you waiting for your boyfriend to walk through the doors. You were nervously glancing up everytime the bell rang, and Tangerine desperately wanted to rub soothing shapes onto your back and tell you it would be alright. But, sadly, it wasn’t his place to do so.

After another few minutes of rereading the same sentence, the man Tangerine recognized from the last time he saw him in the shop with you walked in. He seemed in a fairly okay mood, or at least, he showed no outward signs of being upset.

Tangerine was instantly more alert, noticing the way you sucked in a breath and told your coworker that you’d be going on break, and he watched both you and the man as discreetly as he could. He could vaguely hear the conversation going on, and nothing seemed wrong at first.

You had given the man what seemed like a sympathetic smile, and from the way you were moving your hands around while you spoke, and from the way the man’s expression shifted to one of anger, Tangerine could assume you had told him it was over. He didn’t move though, smart enough to know that going to be by your side wouldn’t help matters any, not until he saw your now ex-boyfriend’s eyes flash with something ugly, hand raising.

That was when he jumped up. Reasonably, he didn’t think the guy would do anything even slightly violent in such a public space, but he didn’t want to take the risk. He wedged himself in the space between the two of you, his back facing you as he reached a hand back to grab onto your arm.

“You alright, love?” He asked, head tilted slightly back to look at you as you nodded, though he could feel how tense you were.

“Who the hell are you?”

Tangerine finally turned to acknowledge the man in front of him at the question, and his face hardened from the soft expression he had with you.

“None of your business. You should really get away from ‘er, if you know what’s best.” You were still hiding behind him, eyes filling with concern as your boyfriend only got more angry.

“She’s my girlfriend. Our conversation doesn’t concern you.”

“Ex. Ex-girlfriend.” You finally spoke up, your voice still soft and timid despite the spite that your words held. Tangerine felt proud, and he squeezed your arm to show as much.

“See? The lady doesn’t seem to want you here, so why’re you still hanging around? Go on.”

“Stay out of this.” The man was only getting more riled up, nose flaring and stepping closer to Tangerine. Clearly, he didn’t know who he was talking to. The thought made Tan smirk slightly, but it made you (who vaguely knew of Tangerine’s strength and abilities from the stories he had told you, though he still changed them as much as he could as to not scare you off) shake in place.

As soon as your ex boyfriend tried to push Tangerine out from in front of you, failing at even making him budge, you reached out to grab your friend’s arm. You could feel the anger radiating off of him, and you didn’t want to cause a scene - or more of a scene - in your place of work. Luckily, the few customers that were there had mostly filed out onto the street and your co-worker only stood close by enough that she could break it apart if anything should happen.

“Tan, it’s okay. I can handle this,” you spoke in your sickly sweet voice, and that and the feeling of your tender grip on his arm was the only thing holding him back from throwing the man against the nearest wall.

“Can you just - please go? I’m not going to change my mind, and it’s not going to be good for either of us if you stick around. So just go. Please?” Your attention turned to the other man, less kindness in your eyes now, and he only scoffed with an eye roll.

“Whatever. You’re not worth this shit anyway.”

What an idiot. Tangerine thought as the man walked out, and he only calmed down once he was out of sight and he could turn to you.

“I was handling it, y’know. You didn’t have to come in all… you-like. I would’ve been okay,” you sighed and Tangerine would’ve thought you were upset with him if it wasn’t for the concern in your eyes and the fact that you were still holding onto his arm. He made sure not to draw attention to that, not wanting to risk you pulling away.

“You think I was going to even slightly risk him hurting you?” Tangerine questioned as if you were insane, using one hand to reach up and brush a stray hair out of your face, needing any excuse to touch you. “Are you okay? D’you want me to take you home or anything? I’m sure if you explain, they’ll let you clock out.” He threw a glance over to your co-worker, who was kindly pretending not to notice the almost disgusting lovefest that was going on between you two (not that either of you could really view it that way, since you had just become single.)

“Um - actually, yes. Please. I don’t want him to come back after you leave.”

“I wasn’t planning on leaving, but of course. Get your stuff, I’ll wait outside.” He gave you a small smile, squeezing your shoulder right before you walked off as he gathered his own things, and went to stand outside by his own car as he waited for you.

Once you come out, he turned to face you, frowning at the expression on your face. “You alright?”

“Yeah. I just - thank you. For intervening. I know I said I could handle it, but thanks anyway. You’re a good friend.”

“I’ll always protect you, love. You’re my favorite girl,” He grinned and stepped forward to press a kiss to the top of your head, reaching down to grab your bag and throw it over his shoulder.

“I’ve just never really had someone on my side like that, and it felt nice.” You admitted, appreciative that he chose to ignore the flush of your cheeks after his innocent kiss.

“Well, now you do. And, since we’re being honest here, I really wish you would stop telling me what a great friend I am.”

“What? Is that - I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you,” you rushed to apologize, even though you weren’t entirely sure what you were apologizing for. You were friends, right?

“No, don’t - I didn’t mean it for you to apologize. I mean, I like you. I thought that was obvious?” Tangerine seemed genuinely confused, as if everyone knew this fact, but you were almost jaw-dropped.

“It - uh, it wasn’t. You like me?”

“Yeah,” he nodded, choosing to open up the passenger door and gently set your bag in the floorboard to hide away from the rejection he was about to face. He was such a confident man, yet was reduced to nerves just by being around you. “Sorry, I just thought you knew. I didn’t mean to make this weird.”

“It’s not. I just didn’t know,” you say quietly, looking like you were off in another world as you thought over things. Was that connection you felt with him shared this whole time? Did the way your stomach fluttered around him mean you liked him, too?

“Do you still want me to give you a ride home? I can call you a taxi, if you don’t feel comfortable.”

“No, no - I’m sorry, I-” you shake your head quickly at his offer, reaching out to grab his arm and then dropping it like it’s burned you. “I think I like you, too.”

He grinned, then, and his head tilted slightly. “Think?”

“Yeah, I mean - I don’t think I want to be with anyone right now, seeing as I did just get out of a relationship with-”

“The most vile man alive?”

“A not great person.” You finished, and Tangerine only chuckled. “But, I do like you. And maybe, if you’re willing to wait a little while, we could… you know. Be more than friends.”

Tangerine looked down right merry, and when his hand reached up to cup one side of your face, you leaned into the warmth almost embarrassingly fast.

“I would love to be more than friends with you. But, by the way. We’re going to have to talk about you having more of a back bone. Like - all those please go’s to him? Babe, I know how much of a fucking badass you are, you should’ve kneed him in the sack.”

“Maybe next time.”

[mongpht]

Rollo Flamme - Student Council President Uniform SSR [translate]

PART 1

Noble Bell College - Bell Tower Interior

Rollo: Hmm… it's a bit cool. And sunrise time is getting later and later every day. Hmmm… It's a good time of year. I can spend less time in the classroom listening to silly stories from mindless students. Time to do what I have to do today before everyone wakes up… Besides, I wouldn't want those annoying creeps to find me.

Noble Bell College - Bell Tower Upstairs

Gargoyles: jumping.

Rollo: Yeah, shut up, you two! You bloody gargoyles! It's not nice to jump around like that. Why don't you two behave yourselves?

Gargoyles: * calms down *

Rollo: Yeah, I'll do you on my next day off. I can't bear to abandon what I've started. If you understand, leave already. I have important work to do… Finally. They're really annoying, aren't they? The mere fact that they live through magic is terrifying, and the noise… If I hadn't been watching the bell tower, I wouldn't have noticed those blocks of stone… Isn't that right, Salvation Bell. Hmm… You're very handsome today. How nice it would be if everyone were like you. It rings when it should ring and is silent when it should be silent. Nothing is ever so right and certain.

Rollo: …Оh. The sun will be up soon. Gotta get everything cleaned up before the ringers come. Let me hear your beautiful sound tonight. Oh, Salvation Bell!

PART 2

Noble Bell College - Courtyard

Rollo: You won't hear any nasty mages here. Let's take a break….

???: Headman, it's you!

Rollo: Huh?

Vice President: We've been looking for you, Rollo-kaicho*. I can't believe you had lunch here.

Rollo: You--

Vice President: Rollo-caicho, you eat bread for lunch. I didn't know that because I didn't see him in the dining hall.

Rollo: Yes, that's right. Two croissants and 16 grapes. And a cup of coffee with milk. Exactly that much, no more and no less. It's a fixed lunch every day, 365 days a year.

Vice President: What, every day? The same thing every day?

Rollo: If you choose to, you won't be driven by unnecessary desires. It's refreshing and very satisfying. I recommend it to you as well.

Vice President: I can't do that. I'd get bored too quickly.

Rollo: … I'm sorry you don't understand. What's more, you want something from me.

Vice President: Oh, yes. The teacher was just looking for Rollo-kaicho. He wants to know as soon as possible if the book report you recently submitted can be put in the newspaper.

Rollo: A newspaper?… If I take the morning paper, I take the morning edition of the Brilliant Country News.

Vice President: Yeah. It's amazing to be in such a big newspaper! That's what Rollo-caicho is all about. They told me again in class today that kaicho was the only one who passed his Potions test with a perfect grade.

Rollo: Hmm. Not a big deal.

Vice President: You're the very modesty! The other day you even made a hard-to-grow aquatic magic plant bloom. The teacher was very impressed. I have great respect for you. There is no other magician in this academy who knows as much as Rollo-kaicho knows!

Rollo: I see. mumbles Ironic, isn't it?

Vice President: Is something wrong?

Rollo: Don't worry about it. In fact, thank you for talking to me. And for your concern.

Vice President: Don't mention it! But while you're here, may I join you for lunch?

Rollo: … Absolutely not. We're almost done eating. Let's go straight to the teacher. Excuse me, I'll leave you to it. We'll have lunch next time.

Vice President: I see. Then I'll join you another time!

Noble Bell College - Lecture Hall

Rollo: … It's carefree. So carefree… I don't know what I'm thinking. Oh, that's not even the point. Let's go to the staff room.

PART 3

City of Flowers

Rollo: Good afternoon… Yes, that's right. I need my usual set of forms and envelopes. Yes, one plain white one… Hmmm, I agree with you.Even if some would call it anachronistic*, letters are a good thing. It's not as convenient as emails or phone calls, but the time spent means less careless remarks. What, are there cheaper ones from other manufacturers similar to this kit…? No, let's go with the usual. Changing your writing style in the middle of writing won't help. Everything has to be consistent… Yes, indeed. Thanks for everything. See you later… Good salesman. As a citizen of a town that loves a righteous judge. As a college student, I have to learn from you… This town is easy to live in. The people are nice and the scenery is wonderful. But these beautiful flowers are also held in place by magical power … Flowers …. Magic … Hmm…mmm…mmm…Hahaha…..

Goat: Bleh.

Rollo: Hmm. Is that a goat? What's wrong with you? Are you hungry? Unfortunately, I don't have anything you can eat right now. If you want to be fed, go to the others…..

Goat: Bleh.

Rollo: What? You're after my envelopes? How disgusting… Don't touch it. Don't eat my stuff. Besides, eating paper can make you sick to your stomach. I'm not saying it's bad. Give up the idea… Hey, stop it!

Goat: Bleh.

Rollo: You little goat. If you don't want to let go, here's an idea…! Ha. No, there are people here… If this creature wasn't valued in the city, I'd give him a good shove like that. You're just lucky.

Goat: Bleh.

Rollo: Don't chew on my clothes! The City of Flowers is beautiful, but except that such unhygienic behaviour is unacceptable...

Noble Bell College - Student Board Room

Rollo: "As you can see, I'm doing well, just like before. Take care of yourself." I wonder if I'm being too polite. Well, that's good. That's enough to let my parents know I'm living here without any problems. These people are fans of worry… Since then… very… … …

Rollo: … …Right. I'll see if I can add a few more additions to the letter. I won't be able to sleep well tonight anyway. I'll work on it to the best of my ability. There's plenty of time.

kaicho: forefather/elder anachronism: an erroneous, intentional, or conditional attribution of events, phenomena, objects, or persons to another time, epoch relative to the actual chronology.

[jarofstyles]

Flame 5- Crackle

Hellooo! Here is part 5 to Flamerry <3 I hope you all enjoy so much.

Let us know what you think!

Check out our Patreon for exclusive writing and early access!

—-

They didn’t talk about it yet.

The most intense night of sex, not physically but emotionally, and they hadn’t touched too much on it. Besides Harry coming to her house with a shit eating grin, a paper showing his results to confirm he was clean from any STIs. Going bare was something they both really wanted to do.

It was a shame that shit had gotten so stupidly busy.

Y/N was studying like mad. Harry was a bit, but he mostly sat with her as she studied and stared at her. Lots of coffee dates to study, library dates, even a few days of sitting in the park with a blanket on the grass and their books sprawled out, a plethora of highlighters and pens littering in between. It was comfortable, really, like it w always was.

The changes were more and more obvious the more that he had looked at it. The cuddles and chaste kisses and the way that they’d holed off into their own little nest like a couple in a somewhat honeymoon stage. Y/N was still a playful bully but she would kiss his pout away when she would make it appear and crawl on top of him to lay down, her cheek against his chest while he stroked her back.

It just.. didn’t seem like it was two friends fucking around. It was clearer to him the more he spent time with her, the more the touches became natural, the more his heart would speed up when he got texts from her. He’d always been excited to spend time with her but this was a new level. His throat would dry when she would tenderly brush the hair from his face, her quiet contemplation making him want to beg to know exactly what was going on in that pretty little head.

Harry had definitely made himself out to be a goofy, funny, horny man, sure, but he had layers. Layers Y/N was peeling back at a pace he hadn’t really prepared for. The anticipation of getting to see her next was almost irritating. How has it changed so rapidly? And why didn’t he care as much about feeling all these things? The complexity of their changing relationship had made him feel like his head was scrambled. She was seeing the parts of him he had kept back, the softer bits that were genuine pushed back until now.

The thing that really sucked now was the time apart, how antsy he was to actually see her. Sure, he had been anxious to see her when they’d just been friends but now that they spent the majority of time together and she had study groups and such, really needed to focus, he had to step away and do his own. It sucked. The bed felt cold. Something he thought to be a huge red flashing light. He tended to ignore those:

H: I miss you. :(

🍑: hi hi. I miss you too.

H: you didn’t put the frown face. So I tend to believe I miss you more.

🍑: :( :( :( :( :(

H: that’s betterrrrr. This book is making my eyes bleed.

🍑: I know. This intro course should not be an intro course. What are you studying rn?

H: one of the business courses. To be honest it’s all bleeding together and I can’t rlly tell what I’m reading, half my page is highlighter.

🍑: h… darling… that is not good study technique. I’ve told you this.

H: so come over and show me :) :) pleaaaaase.

🍑: do you know how bad I want to

H: then do it!!!!! what’s stopping you!!!

🍑: 1. You’re a dork. And an enabler.

🍑: 2. You know what's stopping me. If I come over there will be no studying done.

H: untrue and rude.

🍑: no, no. I tell the truth. You’ll be like

🍑: ‘let’s take a break! Let’s lay down! Let’s make out! Let’s have sex :)’ and then pout n blink your lashes the way you do when you think ur fluttering them but it looks like u got something in your eyes.

H: now… what the hell did I do for you to attack me like that

🍑: is it an attack if it’s the truth? 🤔

H: yes. Especially that.

Harry rolled his head on the back of the couch, groaning as he stretched his limbs like a cat. Y/N wasn’t going to budge. He knew it and he didn’t want to push too far to actually get her mad, but he really fucking missed her. Enough to drop the silly act and text her seriously.

H: but I really do miss you. It feels empty when you’re not here.

H: like I understand why, don’t get me wrong. I’m not blaming you, sweetheart. Just… idk.

🍑: :/ I’m sorry. I miss you too. It stinks less here though…

H: Har Har. I’m being serious though.

H: your smell isn’t on my sheets anymore.

🍑: h… :(

🍑: i can come over tomorrow. Okay? I can at least come to sleep. Or you can come here. Exams are only a few days away but I know I’ve been a bit strict when it comes to seeing you.

H: it wasn’t like this before. Guess I’m just adjusting.

🍑: I know, but last time we weren’t doing… this stuff. The intimate stuff. It’s hard to be around you and not end up on my back. Lol.

H: yeah… I dunno. It’s just never felt so annoying being away from you.

H: sorry if I’m sounding weird. Lol. Just like… got used to you being here and sleeping with me.

🍑: it doesn’t sound weird. It’s what we’ve been doing for a bit now and it is weird. I miss it too- you know I’m just shit at expressing it.

H: Mhm. I miss kissing you.

Harry exhaled as he switched apps, thumbing through their photos together and the ones he had taken of her when she hadn’t been looking. Surely she would kick his ass for doing so but he knew she didn’t love photos and he selfishly wanted some for himself. They were some from brunches they went to, walks they went on, nights out. One in particular called to him, her in his tee shirt and leaning against the counter with a cup of coffee she nursed in her hands. It was his ‘H’ mug, her sleepy eyes and messy hair evidence she had been very comfortable in his bed. A peek of a love bite could be seen under the collar of his shirt, making him smile a little bit.

It wasn’t just him that was comfortable. She was too, especially in those vulnerable moments. Before she caught herself and tried to joke it off. Usually that was his job, but lately it hasn’t felt like a joking mood anymore. He wanted to curl himself around her and bury his face into her neck, listen to her breathe. It wasn’t a joke anymore.

🍑: I do too. A lot. Which is why I can’t come over tonight. You wouldn’t have any lips left </3

H: I don’t think I’d mind if it meant I got to kiss you

🍑: since when have you gotten romantic on me? That was cute and slightly disturbing .

🍑: I like your lips a bit too much anyways. Don’t let them go anywhere.

H: they won’t. They’re yours ;)

🍑: there he is.

How could he express these differences in feelings without making it weird?

It was obvious something had shifted. Something had been different, and it wasn’t just fun anymore. Harry knew that he was going to have to be the one to bring it up to her but he wasn’t sure exactly how to do it. He had tried in a way, during sex. The most vulnerable place to be. But he wasn’t sure if he tried again he wouldn’t ruin it. He just needed a little more time.

Yes, time. All he needed was more of it so he could strengthen whatever the hell this was and point out the obvious.

—-

“You quite literally have not let go of me since I walked in the door.” Y/N had an amused tone to her voice, laying naked in his bed with his arm sloped around her stomach. His face was in between her breasts, breathing lowly as they recovered from sex. Going bare was the best thing to happen to him, really.

“Haven't seen you in 3 days.” He muttered against her skin, pressing a soft kiss to the hot skin. “Missed you. You’re gonna disappear on me soon anyways to study.” The grumbles made her chuckle, petting his slightly damp curls with her fingers as they listened to the low buzz of the playlist Harry had put on.

“It’s only because every time we get together we end up naked, H. I’d much rather be hanging out with you than studying but you know I need to keep the grades up to keep the scholarship.” Y/N had worked incredibly hard to get it and Harry knew that, his resigned nod making her aware he did respect that. Academics were important to her. He’d never want her grades to suffer because of him, but sometimes he was selfish with her attention.

“I know. M’so proud of you for that, by the way.” He looked up at her. “S’fucking wicked that you got such a good one. I’d never want to put it in jeopardy. But I… I’m capable of keeping it in my pants if it means I get to have you around.” He felt her go to laugh by scowled up at her, shaking his head. “M’serious. I just miss you a lot when you’re not around. Like having you here even if I trip over your shoes and you don’t rinse out your mugs. You make it feel more… I dunno, more like home.” His face dropped back into her breasts, not wanting her to see the flush on his skin.

Y/N paused her hand in his hair, making him tense slightly. He didn’t meant to fuck up if he did. If it was too serious of a thing to say- but her hand started up again, a little sight leaving her swollen lips.

“Well.. we can trial run it in the morning.” She decided breeze past what he had said. Harry wasn’t sure why that had made a bit of disappointment settle in his belly, but it was overturned with the excitement at the idea of her staying around during the day. “But that means one thing.”

He peeked back at her face to see her mischievous glint. “Means you have to get all of it out of your system now. All of the filthy, dirty stuff.”

Harry caught her drift just fine. It was one condition he was happy to have. His recovery time with Y/N was insane, actually, and he could feel himself twitch at the idea of being inside of her again.

“Mmm…”’he moved down, pressing a few kissing down her stomach. “Well… I have been thinking about cleaning you up.”

He had cum inside of her and the mere sight of it had made him feel like he could go again. There was something about being bare like that, being raw and vulnerable, knowing he was the only one allowed inside of her that got him off. It was the entire thing. Exclusivity, marking, claiming. Possessives, sure, but he already accepted that.

“What?” She asked breathily, watching him sink down and spread her thighs open. A little squeak left her lips followed by a laugh as he spread her open, looking at the mess he made. He’d gone a bit hard and he could tell, the remnants of his cum dripping down her slightly swollen cunt. “You’re not seriously going to- oh, fuck.”

Harry did as he pleased, pressing his tongue flat and swiping it over her cunt. Tasting the mix of both of them, letting it coat him, lapping up what he could just on the first pass. His eyes met hers, watching her look down at him in slight shock.

“Jesus- H, I thought guys thought it was… y’kno, gross.” She panted, though obviously proven wrong. “We can just wipe it up, it’s okay.” Y/N didn’t want him to think he had to do it or anything like that- but his immediate second pass sign his tongue had her exhaling sharply, gripping the sheets next to her. It was obviously sensitive and his wet, hot tongue was making it hard to talk.

“Tasting us together is the best thing I’ve gotten to do- besides getting to cum inside this pretty pussy. M’gonna clean it all up and fill you again.” Harry murmured, kissing the top of her mound. “We taste so good together, angel. Like we were made to be like this. Think that’s the truth.” He taunted, spreading her cunt open further with his fingers and kissing right over her clit. “This cunt was made for me. You were meant to be mine.”

He had enough words, deciding to channel his passion into her again. Lapping her up with a fervor that made her tremble, licking up bit of their orgasms that he could get with pleasured groans against her. Her clit pulsed against his thumb as he rubbed it, getting her cunt wet in a much different way than before. Keeping his mouth busy was better than blurting out that he was pretty sure he was in love with her. Probably wasn’t the best time being between her thighs but, he had managed to stop disaster.

When he finally felt her orgasm, her moan of his name and grip on his hair keeping him right on her cunt as she bucked her hips into his face and pleaded for him not to stop, he knew his words were true. Even the ones unsaid.

He was definitely in love with Y/N. And he had no idea what to do about it.

[supermarvel-fics]

Tickletober Day 3: Shriek

fandom: marvel

word count: 1,000

pairing: peter 3 x reader (platonic)

summary: you're not easily scared and peter attempts to prove you wrong

“You seriously don’t get scared?” Peter asked with an eyebrow raise. “It’s Halloween… it’s supposed to be scary!”

You shrugged before taking a sip of your latte, eyeing Peter in the chair across from you the whole time. “I just don’t scare easily. Horror movies, haunted houses, ‘scary’ corn mazes… they’re just so underwhelming.”

“So, you mean to tell me that you’ve never been scared. Ever. Like no one has ever snuck up behind you and made you flinch?

“Not that I can remember, no.”

You caught Peter’s smirk as he shut his Biology textbook and threw it to the unused sofa beside him. “Challenge accepted.”

“Excuse me?” You spluttered, following his lead by closing your own book.

“I’m going to scare you successfully this year,” He responded while leaning forward in his seat, elbows propped up on his knees. You grinned back at him, almost trying not to laugh.

“Yohou? You’re going to be the one who scares me?”

“I’m sure I can do it if I put my mind to it,” Peter nodded. You chuckled softly, reaching out towards your coffee cup to take another swig.

“Alright. Good luck, then.”

And Peter wasted absolutely no time in trying to complete his mission. After your study session, approximately 30 minutes after the two of you had dropped the conversation entirely, he began with his first attempt. You had your back turned to him as you put away your books and instantly felt more than heard Peter standing behind you.

“BOO!” He shouted close to your ear. You didn’t react, obviously, and snickered when your friend let out a huff filled with defeat.

“Peheter, I felt your breath on my neck. Also, we just got done talking about it, so I kinda knew it was coming. You’re gonna have to be more creative than that,” You told him, nudging his shoulder with yours as you slid past him. “Nice effort, though!”

You had to laugh at his determination. After that day, any time Peter saw you, he’d attempt to scare you. Sneaking up behind you before class, following you to Starbucks, even going as far as breaking into your dorm while you were out and about.

He took the act of being the one to scare you so seriously that he began watching you like a hawk to see if he could find any hints to what made you flinch or squeak. Only problem was that nothing could do that—you were just unable to be frightened.

So, Peter decided that after this time, he’d drop it and admit defeat. He squatted behind the couch in the common area of your dorm waiting for you to pass by. He’d done this exact ruse a few days ago, so maybe it would catch you off guard this time.

A few minutes later, he heard the beep of the door as you scanned your ID and the jingling of your room keys as you walked through the room. Peter held his breath and watched as you walked right past where he was hiding, giving him the perfect opportunity to rush up behind you.

“GOTCHA!” He yelled, grabbing ahold of your sides to pull you back into his chest. Not expecting the sudden contraction of his fingertips, you shrieked, and Peter had a field day with your reaction. “YES! I did it! I told you I’d scare you!”

You forcefully removed his hands from your waist and turned around to scold him. “You didn’t scare me, Peter! You… ugh.”

“Uh-huh, right. Then, what was that little scream you made when I snuck up behind you?” Peter interrogated with an insufferably smug grin on his face. You decided not to gratify him with an answer and instead grunted, walking away from him and towards your dorm room. You fumbled with the keys as Peter scurried after you. “Oh, come on! Is your ego too big to just admit that you finally got scared?”

Sighing, you pushed your door open, trying to slam it shut on Peter, but he kicked it right back open and followed you in. “Yeah, fine, Pete. You scared me. Great job,” You said monotonously, throwing your bag onto your bed. Your back was still facing him, so when his hands found your waist again as he started to reenact the moment, you let out another loud squeal, this time laced with a small giggle.

You arched away from him, you elbows slamming down on instinct. As you whipped around, you caught sight of your friend’s face, only making yours turn red.

“I didn’t scare you…” Peter realized.

“No, you did! You totally got me this time,” You laughed nervously, backing away from him without realizing.

“You don’t get scared. You screamed because I accidentally tickled you, didn’t I?” He asked, inching closer. You gulped and before you got the chance to vehemently deny that you’re even ticklish, Peter lunged and began squeezing at your sides with more intent.

“Peter! Noho, Pehete!” You protested. Twisting away from him, you freed yourself from his grasp and tried running for the door, but Peter took a few long strides forward and once again gripped your waist, pulling you back against his chest and digging his fingers into your ribs. “WAHAHA! NOHO!”

“You may not scare easily, but you are ticklish, so I think I win either way,” He teased you, pinching rapidly up and down your torso. Your knees buckled beneath you and Peter helped you down onto the floor, continuously tickling you to pieces.

“THAHAT’S NOT FAHAHAIR! PEHETER, NO!”

“It’s extremely fair. This is compensation for how much work went into trying to scare you!”

“It’s nohot my FAHAULT THAT YOHOU JUST AREN’T SCAHAHARY!” You bit back, only making Peter wiggle his fingers harder in retaliation. “OHOKAY! WAHAIT! I’M SOHORRY!”

Peter slowed down to a light scratching at the middle of your ribcage, smiling down at you as you squirmed and giggled. “I’ll get you someday.”

“Rihight. Whatever yohou say, Pehete.”

[intriq]

Midnight

warnings: mentions blood, death, little bit of fighting, depression, mentions of guns/getting shot, etc etc NO USE OF Y/N

Part 2 of Little Moon

Part 1, part 2, part 3

Word Count: 5.7k words

Authors discussion n shizzle:

Hi y’all sorry this took so long to do. But it’s here and I’m happy and it’s long as FUCK.

Like it’s twice as long as part 1, and it’s so bad everyone voted I break this up into a 3rd part so like, yea

I’m publishing this while the 2 yr old I’m babysitting is down fr his nap so like woooo

I’d like to thank my beta readers n co owners of Little Moon for reading this shit (I’m sorry if u cried): my bestie aka @deaths-favorite-star , terra, Apollo (Taylor swift and bat brat versions), bri, and lilac

mostly cus without them this wouldn’t even be possible/done lol

let’s get on w this shall we? Hope you all enjoy <3

❉ ╤╤╤╤ ✿ ╤╤╤╤ ❉

Months have passed since your death.

In those months the children of Bruce Wayne, whether adopted or biological, grieve. All of them mourned you.

There are seldom times your grave is without fresh flowers or some sort of visitor, who either sits in silence or just talks to the headstone in a conversation that they know they’ll never get your input on again.

Your bedroom is in the same state of familiarity, too.

On some days, Alfred has to force Bruce to get out of bed or to even come home.

No one looks at Alfred quite the same anymore, but no one looks at Alfred with the same disgust as Alfred’s own reflection.

✧✿✧

Since the funeral, family dinners went from being twice a week, to just once.

And then they went to once a month, with Alfred having to just watch as the number of people who attended them dwindled, before eventually they came to a total stop.

✧✿✧

Today is another day of distant and silent mourning, as Alfred stands in his room, looking through pictures of you and Bruce as children.

Down the hallway as Alfred looks at a picture of you on your seventh (7th) birthday, he hears Cassandra softly crying down the hall in your bedroom.

During your birthday that year, when you’d turned seven (7) years old, Alfred remembers how the only thing you’d asked for was a cake. Specifically, you requested that he let you help him bake your birthday cake.

Alfred can’t help but smile, even just slightly, as he remembers how big of a mess you’d made when you had attempted to dump the entire bag of flour into the mixing bowl.

He also can’t help but remember that after a long day of celebrating your birthday, it was the first night since you’d come to live with him and Bruce that you hadn’t woken up once because of a nightmare.

✧✿✧

Alfred had been in Bruce’s study when the news came.

A tray of food in hand, he’d been begging Bruce to eat something. Anything, even if it was just a piece of toast that he hadn’t prepared himself.

“Master Bruce, you haven’t eaten in the past few days. Please, take at least one bite.”

Bruce only raises his head, dark circles under his eyes as he just blankly stares at him. An almost soulless look, one that gives a hollow feeling of emptiness.

Across the desk in Bruce’s study are papers, books, various gadgets in states of disrepair or in the middle of being made, as well as schematics for them that have the occasional ring-shaped coffee stain on them.

“Not now, Alfred. I have things to do,” Is Bruce’s only reply, a hoarse and exhausted sounding tone held within his words.

Alfred’s coming words of protest are silenced by the sounds of an alarm going off. Not too loud but neither too quiet, but just enough to make Alfred go silent.

NEW HUNTER DETECTED

That’s what the screen on Bruce’s computer read.

Various screens pop up on Bruce’s computer, each showing feed from different CCTV cameras of a person moving through Gotham and killing vampires in their wake.

The videos in question had been saved from numerous different days in the past few weeks, all adding up together once there was enough saved to trigger the algorithm that Tim had made. Specifically, it was designed to use the cameras around Gotham to track and keep note of Vampire Hunters and vampire attacks. Made solely to help prevent someone else from suffering the same fate you did.

All to prevent them from having to lose someone else.

Bruce and Alfred watch as the videos play, watching as the new hunter the algorithm had detected took out various vampires across the city of Gotham. But what made Bruce rub the drowsiness from his eyes as he leans forward, peering closer at the numerous video feeds was not because of how they looked.

No, it was because of how they moved.

The way they moved was eerily familiar. The way they moved with such precision that only got better and better with each new video feed that grew to be more recent was what had Bruce holding his breath.

While they had kept you from knowing the world of Vampire Hunting most of your life, they hadn’t let you be completely defenseless.

Which was why it was so eerie to see that the way this person was moving, was by using moves he’d only ever taught you. It was unmistakable, really. Bruce had grown up with you, knew most of the little habits you had. He knew you better than he knew himself sometimes.

Bruce is unsure if he wants to let himself grow delusional about whether or not it was who he thought it was. Should he? Could he? Was it even worth the pain it’d bring by opening up old wounds, to bring back the choking hold of grief?

Bruce can feel Alfred staring at him, because he gets that same feeling of familiarity. But it should be impossible. It couldn’t be possible.

But was it? Could it be?

Alfred sets the tray of food down on Bruce’s desk, taking the opportunity to clean up some of its disorganized mess. But it’s only because he doesn’t want to let his mind wander like Bruce’s is. He already lets it wander far enough when he looks through photo albums and when he sees his face reflected off the tea he drinks in the morning, in the mirror, off the windows, and on the screen of Bruce’s computer.

Bruce doesn’t even acknowledge the tray of food Alfred leaves on his desk, only getting up after receiving a notification on the screen that the new hunter was spotted again. Bruce already felt the idea of who it could be creeping into his mind and clinging there, leaving him wondering. Wanting to know. Needing to know, to get his question answered.

“I’ll be out for a while.”

“Will I expect you back for dinner today, Master Bruce?”

Alfred is only met with silence as Bruce grabs what he needs and heads out the door. Which gives him his answer.

“At least come back unscathed, Master Bruce. I don’t think they want you to join them just yet.”

“Don’t act like you know what they would’ve wanted, Alfred.”

Alfred goes quiet again. He understands, after all. He knows Bruce is still hurting, just like the others are. Alfred was the last person to see you alive, and was the only one there when you drew your last breath. They resent him for that.

But they also can’t look at him the same after knowing that it was because of him that you drew in that last gasp of air, held in his arms in that cold, dirty alley whilst the sun rose in the distance.

What makes it worse was just how often you used to like watching the sun rise. It was often when the others finally returned from their patrols, having spent all night hunting down vampires to make Gotham even just a little safer.

And every time, you’d be there, waiting for them. You’d welcome them home, tend to their injuries, and if they had a particularly rough night you’d even make them something, though it was usually some sort of baked dessert, like cake or cookies. And even though Bruce had a disdain for anything overly sweet, he’d still eat whatever cake you’d baked for him, even if it was so sweet it made him feel nauseous.

But no matter how much of a disdain Bruce had for sweet foods in general, he never could quite turn them down when you made them. You always had a smile with comforting words to follow, all to mask just how truly worried about him you were. Bruce knew that you always wanted, deep down, for him to stop being a vampire hunter. But you knew he couldn’t nor wouldn’t stop, so you always kept quiet about it.

If you weren’t so worried, if Bruce did anything to ease your worries, would you have let him know that you wanted to be walked home that night? He’d seen the unsent text message. Tim showed it to him. It’d been easy for Tim to find, with how unprotected your phone was from hackers and the like. You had deleted the message, and Bruce knew why.

It was because you felt guilty about even thinking of asking for his help. You knew how busy he was saving Gotham from vampires, which meant you could never work up the courage to ask him. He’d already helped you so many times before, and you barely could do anything to help him. Would things be different, Bruce thinks, if he’d texted you to make sure you got home safe instead of focusing on his patrol? Would you still be here, alive and well? Would you be here, saying goodbye to him as he heads out, telling him to stay safe?

Bruce forces the thoughts to shake free from his head as he swiftly departs, not allowing himself to turn around, knowing only that his heart would ache when he doesn’t see you there waiting for him. It’s always hurt, because the first few days he’d always mistakenly hear you calling out for him, sometimes even thinks he’d see you in the corner of his eye.

But whenever he’d turn and look, you weren’t there, and Bruce remembers.

✧✿✧

It takes a few minutes for Bruce to track down the new vampire hunter who’d somehow been able to avoid making Tim’s detection system go off, as it should have alerted Bruce to their presence months ago. The night is cold since autumn is right around the corner, and it reminds Bruce of just how cold that night was when you’d been brought to Wayne manor.

Bruce reminds himself to focus as he follows the new vampire hunter, who moves through Gotham as if they know the place by heart. Which almost seems odd to know every part of Gotham, when they’d only been detected less than six months ago. It’s odd, because the system has only had a record of their existence from that time frame. The program couldn’t even pick up data from normal Gotham citizens from before that to link it back to them.

It was odd.

So, so incredibly odd. Almost an off-putting, eerie kind. The type you get when you walk down the street at night and suddenly don’t feel alone, like you shouldn’t be there.

Bruce has this odd, eerie feeling for almost fifteen minutes before he realizes. The world’s greatest detective, they say, and it took him fifteen minutes of following this new vampire hunter to realize they were leading him in a circle. That they knew they were being followed.

When Bruce realizes he’s been following the new vampire hunter blindly for fifteen minutes in that same circle, the vampire hunter seems to know, too.

“Took you long enough to notice, Batman. You're getting awfully slow.”

Why does that voice sound so familiar?

Why does Bruce feel like he’s heard it somewhere before? And why is the familiarity hurting him?

Bruce leaps down from the rooftop he rests upon, landing on the street beside them. That feeling that screams in Bruce’s head that he knows who this vampire hunter is, who they are underneath the mask, is hideously strong. Almost sickeningly so.

But who is it?

Bruce narrowly avoids the punch the vampire hunter has swinging his way when he snaps out of his thoughts. Getting distracted and in a daze when confronting someone isn’t smart, he knows that. He taught Dick and Jason never to lose focus in a fight.

But yet here he is, losing focus.

Jason would probably find it ironic if he were here right now.

“Focus, Batman. Isn’t that what you taught those boys of yours?”

Behind Bruce’s mask, his face is scrunched up in confusion. Contorted as he continues to try and avoid getting hit, because he hates just how easy it is for him to lose focus because of just one thought.

But yet, even despite how familiar these moves are- which are the only reasons he’s able to avoid them even at the last possible moment- there’s something that bothers him, something that he realizes. The vampire hunter who is fighting him, attacking him, isn’t doing it with the purpose most others would.

It’s almost like it’s some sort of warning, as they change the trajectory of their moves to only hit the most non-vital points. Areas where it won’t do anything but leave a nasty bruise.

Which is odd, considering Bruce now realizes after a particular glint in the fluorescent lighting of the street lights that line the roads of Gotham, when the mask of the vampire hunter before him slips just enough when Bruce finally strikes back is that there are fangs.

Fangs.

The vampire hunter right in front of Bruce, the one that has managed to evade program that Tim spent weeks coding, the same vampire hunter that is refusing to strike Bruce anywhere vital as if some sign of guilt, is a vampire.

A vampire, hunting down and killing other vampires. Killing them. In a most brutal fashion, too, based on what Bruce and Alfred saw in the collected video files.

Why is a vampire, a creature that exists to attack and feed off of humans, trying to avoid hurting him?

Why?

Bruce can’t make sense of it. He can’t. There is virtually no reason for any vampire in Gotham, in the entirety of this world, that they would be trying to not hurt him.

Most vampires attempt to kill him on sight. So why isn’t this one? Why is it acting so… odd?

Bruce twists around the outstretched, reaching arm of the vampire hunter as they move in a pattern that Bruce is quickly learning. They never differ or change the pattern, no matter how often Bruce is able to evade their attacks. And with that open window of opportunity, he takes the chance to collect a sample of their DNA.

Some blood, to be specific.

The vampire… hunter lets out some sort of noise of pain. Not quite a shriek, nor a yelp, but just a noise. And just as soon as they started attacking Bruce, they are trying to flee.

And before Bruce can attempt to stop them, they are gone.

But that’s fine, because Bruce has what he came for. A blood sample.

Enough for Bruce to test, to compare to others in the database to see who they are.

Because that is the question lingering on his mind. Who is it? Just who is this new vampire hunter that has been able to leave a growing pile of bodies in their wake in just mere months?

✧✿✧

Bruce doesn’t waste a moment, ignoring Alfred’s pleas to let him look over and treat his injuries, as minor as they are. Just a few bruises that will heal.

He doesn’t waste a moment in immediately getting to work on finding out who that vampire is. Who the vampire hunting down and killing other vampires is, who they are underneath that mask.

After loading the sample into the batcomputer, he waits. Sitting there with so much impatience, so eager to find out who it is. It’s almost suffocating just how badly he wants it to just finish already, to just show him the results.

Alfred takes the opportunity, though, to place another tray full of food in front of Bruce. Because it’s now been a few days since Bruce last ate, and the only thing he’s done is keep himself hydrated.

Bruce attempts to protest, but he relents at the painful gnawing in his stomach. No longer able to keep himself sufficiently distracted to not notice just how hungry he is. But all he does is take small, slow bites, watching the progress the batcomputer is making on the sample.

He eats so slowly that by the time the sample is eighty [80] percent analyzed, the food has grown cold. So cold that it makes Bruce not want to eat anymore, even if he’s barely even touched any of the food. But Alfred is happy anyway, because he’s happy that Bruce has something in his stomach.

Even if it’s not a whole lot.

✧✿✧

When Bruce saw the results, his mouth went dry. His chest felt like an unrelenting void, filled with a crashing tidal wave. The creeping feeling that fills him is just as terrifying.

Alfred had to practically pry Bruce away from the batcomputer, as he mumbles nothing but words about how the results had to be wrong.

How there was no possible way that the blood sample belonged to and came from just who the batcomputer said it did.

So now here everyone was, called here by Alfred. Stated to be an absolute and utter emergency, and that excuses would not be tolerated. It was absolutely mandatory, and emergencies were to be ignored because this was the emergency.

Jason didn’t want to be here. Dick didn’t want to be here.

None of them wanted to be here. Not in the same home they’d ‘grown up’ in, that now held nothing but bitter reminders of a certain death. The death of someone they viewed as a child, a sibling, a parent. A role model.

You. Your death.

But yet here they are. Unable to avoid it, because it was an order. An order that it was an emergency, and no one could turn away when someone raises the alarm about something being an emergency.

When everyone arrives, Bruce is already seated in his office. He almost seems emotionless, like there isn’t even an ounce of life behind his eyes as he simply stares ahead, blankly.

He doesn’t even react when they all close the door behind themselves, his eyes only moving up once Dick stands in front of him.

“Why were we called here, Bruce?”

Dick’s voice sounds tired. But that’s because he is tired. He’s so, so tired of grieving. Of mourning you. Of feeling like that total and utter failure that he knows he is because he got lazy on one stupid patrol.

He’s tired of feeling like this. Feeling like he’s stuck in a deep pit of sadness and guilt, sadness because you died. Guilt because you died when he wasn’t looking hard enough. But yet, there’s also anger.

Anger at himself.

But Bruce doesn’t have the energy to answer Dick’s question, so Alfred does the talking. He shows the videos, also shows Bruce’s encounter with the vampire hunter. Everyone doesn’t quite understand just why there was an emergency meeting being called over a vampire hunter. Sure, it was alarming they were a vampire but that wasn’t cause for an emergency.

That is, until Alfred shows the results from the batcomputer. Results of who the DNA belongs to.

And while some seem surprised, some in a state of utter shock, others just feel.. Numb. Like there was nothing they could feel besides the ever consuming pit of nothingness in their chest.

But everyone is in disbelief, just as Bruce was. Is, more like.

The results showed a one-hundred [100] percent match for the last person they expected. The last person they even wanted to believe it could be.

You.

You, who was supposed to be dead. Buried six [6] feet under the ground in the cemetery on the grounds of the Wayne manor.

Dick wants to feel sick. Jason, too. Damian feels his stomach lurching as well, but he doesn’t let it show. He refuses to.

They all don’t want to believe the results are true, just as Bruce did. Because it should be simply impossible, right? They all made sure you were dead before burying you.

“But that’s impossible. We made sure. Alfred-... He…” The words choke and die in Tim’s throat. But everyone knows what he means. How could they not?

Alfred made sure, because he was the one who dealt the killing blow.

Those are the words that go unspoken. The truth, as disgusting and heavy as it is.

But is it the truth? Did Alfred actually deal the killing blow?

And the truth is, they hadn’t double checked. So lost in their grief over your bloody body that Alfred brought back to the manor they hadn’t even bothered to check and make sure that Alfred had actually shot you in the heart.

They had just assumed he had.

“Alfred… You.. You checked, right?”

Dick’s voice is shaky, as ragged and rushed as his breathing. He feels like he already knows the answer, but god does he want to be wrong.

But the way Alfred clenches his jaw and his eyes focus on that abandoned tray of food from much earlier, food long since grown cold, gives Dick his answer.

“Bruce? You checked, right?”

Tim is the one to ask this time. Because surely, there is no way that Bruce didn’t check and confirm for himself. He’s thorough, he always is. There isn’t any realm of possibility that Bruce didn’t check… Right?

Right?

When Bruce doesn’t answer, there’s a look of disbelief on just about everyone's faces. Bruce Wayne, the ever thorough and the world’s ‘greatest detective’, renowned vampire hunter Batman, didn’t double check that you were dead?

“You checked, right?”

“No. I didn’t.”

And now everyone is left with the horrifying, dawning realization of just one thing. A simple thought that is horrifying to picture, to imagine. To even now be known as a reality.

They’d practically buried you alive.

Everyone quickly dispersed after that. No one could stand to be in the same room as each other, because even though they know they rightfully have no right to blame one another, even though they could blame themselves, it’s all they think about.

You were alive. Alive.

All this time you’d been alive while they mourned you. While Dick blamed himself, while Damian blamed Dick for the reason you were no longer present.

Damian feels sick to his stomach at just how angry he was at Dick in the past. Of the things he’d said to him, blaming him for your death. When you weren’t even dead.

Jason can feel nauseating guilt creeping in his chest, too. Ripping open a swallowing, fathomless pit. He’d screamed at Alfred. Been angry with him, caused him so much pain. Alfred hadn’t even killed you, and he’d been so angry at Alfred.

But the sudden appearance of the vampire hunter is making sense. It coincides with your death, somewhat. With the recovery period a vampire would need to recover from a wound like the one you’d taken.

But it makes so, so much sense.

✧✿✧

Six months ago is when Cass was out tracking a vampire. Well, more-so a large nest of them. One that held connections in various cities, dangerous and leaving an endless, bloody wake of victims.

Perhaps it was because of the grief clouding her mind, that thought of how this group could be the ones responsible. The one responsible for your death.

So she got sloppy. Just a little bit. Enough to make a small error that she normally wouldn’t make.

Cass hadn’t taken the time she usually did to make sure she was sure of just how many vampires actually lived in that nest before she charged into it to take out the vampires that resided there. The information hadn’t been totally accurate, it’d missed a few vampires. So she’d been quickly overrun, out of supplies with not even enough bullets to last her.

But just as Cass thinks she’s going to die for her margin of error, as she decides to resign to her fate because hey, it means she’ll get to see you again, the vampires that are about to kill her are dead.

And there’s a figure standing over their bloody remains that seems oddly familiar to Cass. But she can’t quite place it. At least, she couldn’t then.

“I thought you were taught better than this. This is a stupid mistake, even for you.”

Before Cass can ask the obvious question that’s scratching at the back of her mind, the figure is gone just as quick as they appeared. Leaving nothing evident of their presence, besides the dead vampires.

✧✿✧

They’d all been in some sort of predicament caused by their overwhelming grief that meant they’d needed someone to save their ass. And you had. You’d been there to rescue them from their mistakes every single time.

You’d saved Cass from death, been there to save Jason during the few times he’d been distracted [even if all he’d glimpsed of you was your retreating silhouette], and so much more.

But why had you never shown yourself to them? Why had you let them wallow in their own self pity and grief over your death, when you hadn’t even died?

Perhaps there was an answer to this question they didn’t yet have.

But it was no matter. They had time to get the answer they so desperately wanted. They had a means to find you the next time you appeared, all they had to do was wait.

✧✿✧

And wait they did.

It took almost a week before you appeared again, presumably to lay low for a while after that encounter with Bruce. As if it would stop them from figuring out the truth.

They’d even checked your grave. And god, were they horrified to find that it was empty, just as they’d feared.

But yes, when you’d appeared again after lying low for a week, Jason was the one sent to go talk to you. You’d always had a soft spot for him, after all.

So in his Red Hood gear, he approaches you. He wasn’t even sure if he should be surprised that you seemed to know he was there the moment he’d landed on that same rooftop as you.

But maybe he should, since he knows neither Bruce nor Alfred gave you any training to be a vampire hunter. They wanted you to stay as far away as possible from it, after all.

But perhaps that distance is why you’d never stood a chance the night you’d been attacked. Maybe it was the lack of making sure you were prepared to face the threats that lie in the very shadows they hunted in.

Jason sees your moments from fleeing from the way you visibly tense up and flinch when he steps closer to you, so he stops. He entirely freezes, because the last thing he wants is for you to disappear again.

“We know it’s you,” Is all Jason calls out, paired with your name instead of the nickname he’d always refer to you by. A parental nickname, something similar to the way children call their parents Mom or Dad, but entirely different and unique to you.

Jason watches the way you seem to think, still frozen in a stance that says you're seconds from fleeing, that him making the wrong choice is all it takes for you to disappear. But this time it’d be Jason’s fault that you're gone, not Dick’s.

“We aren’t mad, I promise.”

Bad thing to start off with, Jason. Now you’ll think they all were mad.

“What I meant to say is… We all miss you. When you died- thought you died, we didn’t know what to do.”

Jason is practically grasping at straws. He can see his words aren’t reaching you in the way he is hoping, wanting them to. He’s never been good at the comforting stuff, never been good at talking someone down. Not like Alfred is, not like Dick is. Not like Barbara, too.

What would they even say to you?

Jason feels lost, because just why did they send him to talk to you, instead of anyone else?

Well, not sending Alfred is understandable. He’d been the one to shoot you, and Jason knows that he wouldn’t want to see the Joker again, to be the one to talk to him. But what about Dick and Barbara? What would they do?

Jason doesn’t even know if attempting to continue to comfort you is worth it, especially not when it doesn’t even seem to be working.

“Why?”

Those words slip past Jason before he can even get a chance to stop himself. But it’s a question he really, really wants an answer to. Well, not just want. He needs to know. He needs to know why you’ve let them all sit and rot inside their grief and despair, even as understandable as it may be for Alfred because even he understands that seeing the person who killed you is not easy.

Well, not that Alfred even killed you. Almost killed you, which Jason understands. The Joker had almost killed him then, too. Instead he’d lived because some weird ‘miracle’ left him being some freak of nature, a half human but not entirely vampiric person.

Like some curse.

“I was supposed to be dead.”

“I get that.”

“Plus.. I’m a vampire, Jason. I’m a danger to you guys. What if.. What if I lose control? Like I did that night?”

He knows what you're talking about. The night you’d attacked Bruce before… Alfred shot you. Jason remembers hearing about it from a very heartbroken Bruce, although the heartbreak wasn’t easy to see on the surface. But Jason had known. So had everyone else.

After all, they’d all been pretty much trained and raised by Bruce. They knew what he was feeling- most of the time. Though they couldn’t see it as easy as Alfred did.

“We could’ve found ways around it that didn’t mean you totally avoided us,” Jason says those last words with more bitterness than he should’ve. He knows he has no right to be angry, doesn’t even deserve to be. But he can’t help it, not with how he can only rethink on just how he’d treated Alfred because of it.

“Because of that we treated Alfred-” He cuts himself off, not wanting to spew those words out. Doesn’t even want them to fall past his lips. But it’s far too late, judging by the way your eyes narrow and your head practically snaps toward him.

“What did you all do?”

The venom in your voice when you hear those words is unmistakable. Sure, you wouldn’t be able to look at Alfred the same because he’d been the one to shoot you, but you still understood why he had.

You were a vampire. Something dangerous, and he was doing what needed to be done.

Before Jason can even try to backpedal he’s already spewing to you how everyone’s treated Alfred since you’d ‘died’. Everything. Including how he’d screamed at Alfred after hearing what your last words were from him, down to him destroying his room, Bruce’s new attitude, everything.

“Why would you all do that?” You’d hissed almost immediately after he’d finished telling that tale. Disbelief is just about the only thing you feel, along with those other bitter emotions you were currently feeling.

“He killed- we thought he’d killed you, and we just.. We were angry! Because he took you away from us!”

When had you even marched over to him? Was it while he was speaking those venomous words about how Alfred had killed you, taken you from them? Or was it sooner?

Was he blinded by his own emotions to even notice?

Nevertheless, you're pretty much right in his face, and while Jason is expecting you to scream at him, maybe even yell, raise your voice somewhat, you don’t. Perhaps it’s worse that you sound calm.

“Alfred did what he needed to, what he had to.”

“But you were our family!”

“I do not deserve special treatment because I helped raise you all. Not because I was the person Bruce viewed as a little sibling, and the person Alfred viewed as his own child.”

“But-”

You silence him by raising a hand up, your eyes squeezed shut in the way it does when you’d had headaches in the past, pinching the bridge of your nose between your index finger and thumb.

“Tell me, Jason, would any of you have been able to do it then, hmm? Do you know how hard it was for Alfred to even point the gun at me without his hands shaking? Without crying? Would either of you have been able to pull the trigger instead of Alfred?”

Jason stays silent, and when you open your eyes to glare at him, demanding an answer like those times you’d interrogated him after he’d been stupid and nearly gotten himself killed on those patrols back when he was younger, back when he was just Robin and training under Bruce’s watch. 

And he only shakes his head.

“But I promise I’ll be back.. Someday, I don’t know when. Don’t know if it’ll be soon, or if it’s not for years ahead. But I can promise that, okay?”

You really didn’t know just what else to say, honestly. You already had plans for what your coming moves were, for your motives. You knew Jason was wondering that just by glancing at him, even if you couldn’t see his face behind his helmet.

“And if you want, you can try to help me, if it’ll make you.. I don’t freaking know, feel better, I guess?”

“How?”

“You’ll see. It’ll be an answer to my motives and why I’ve been so secretive I guess. I’ll tell you how you can help me later.”

Jason wants to say something, but he doesn’t know if he should even be surprised you already know what it is he wants to say. “Oh, and don’t tell anyone I’m letting you help me. That part stays a secret, got it?”

Jason only nods in reply, and with that, you’ve disappeared from Jason’s sight, leaving him alone on that rooftop to think through his thoughts. And of your words, of course. To muddle them over, to debate whether or not he even accepts the notion of helping you.

With keeping it secret being the price he pays.

❉ ╧╧╧╧ ✿ ╧╧╧╧ ❉

[writingrenna]

Hassel x GN!Reader

"Where The Heart Is"

A story where you start to actively pay attention to the specific brand of weird Hassel throws your way.

I admit, I didn't finish most of the friendship quests because I WANT MORE OF HIM, WHY DO CHARACTERS JUST DISAPPEAR/BECOME GENERIC NPCS WHEN THEY'RE DONE BEING IN THE STORY?? I want to truly engross myself in his backstory, so I'll be taking things slow. Don't mind me, just dragging out the inevitable </3

I WILL be taking advantage of his rematches, thank you very much.

ALSO this takes place three years after the end of the game so your expy has time to be hired and get to know Hassel, you work as one of the academy librarians!

Tone/Ending: Slightly Angsty At Parts, Wholesome, Romantic

Warnings: If you're sensitive to rough family situations, be warned! Hassel is very firm with no longer associating with his family and it's hinted at that his childhood wasn't the best, but the story doesn't dwell on that yet, I'm exploring that more later

Also, beware the movie and Hassel's painting sections, especially if the Iron Giant makes you sad

Word Count: A little bit over 5,000

^^^>

"You're... really sure about this, huh?" You say into your mug.

The steam from your tea gently tickled your nose as you considered what he said. The two of you were standing at the back of the staff room, both leaning against a window each on opposite sides of the bookshelf. The rain was fairly loud, but it served more as a gentle white noise to your conversation than anything.

"Yes, I simply cannot imagine an outcome that would make reaching back out again worth it."

You couldn't see his face, but the sadness in his tone was evident, so you took note of that.

"Ah, I know how that feels." You say, remembering some sour relationship conclusions where the other person reached out again or seemed to linger a bit more than they should. But his story... holy Tauros, it was something else.

"Well, do you think you're happy here in Paldea?" You begin. "I mean, would you consider seeing more of the world from time to time? Maybe even visit your home region again?"

He paused, taking in your question. He then huffed a little out of his nose, although it didn't seem to be out of annoyance.

"Well, I have lightly entertained the idea of just visiting my homeland again, but I just..." He paused. "Something is holding me back."

Your face dropped from attentive neutrality to one of sadness for him.

"Hey, no, that's valid of course! I was just wondering where you stood, you know? Like, after escaping all that and starting anew here? I'll stop asking if you like, though."

He immediately rebutted your offer.

"Nonsense, my dear. I do not mind your curiosity. I am aware my familial ties are... strange."

You can almost feel him stare into his mug in self-reflection, the one with the hand-drawn Gossifleur design a student made him that he had printed on. The one he proudly owned and tearfully showed off to every member of staff who happened to walk by if he had it at the time until the entire combined workforce of both the academy and the league knew about it. His favorite mug...

Him speaking up snapped you out of your trance.

"Ah, and about your first question. Truth be told, I do not have enough time to even imagine seeing more of the world, much less experience it. Between the academy and my duties with the elite four, my schedule is simply swamped! I sadly do not even remember the last time I had an extended break."

You frowned, looking down at your own mug. The one you spun yourself after classes on a day that Hassel had done a lesson in properly handling clay, donated courtesy of Brassius. He gave you a chance to throw down and de-stress as he cleaned the rest of the classroom since you had an especially rough day reorganizing books in the massive entrance hall. It wasn't perfect, but it was your own pride and joy, one he had cried upon seeing you finally use one spring morning.

"Oh! But do not pity me, I really and truly do love working with our students and giving it my all in the league. My classes remind me of the joy and wonder one feels while appreciating the beauty the world has to offer, even during those darker days. The future is bright for all our students! And these dragon Pokémon..." He paused. "They were always there for me despite my family's less-than accepting stance on my life choices. I have nothing but praise and gratitude to show them all."

You smiled, looking down a little as you let his words reverberate in your mind. You were going to ask him another question, only for him to completely derail your train of thought.

"Besides... there are many a thing here to make me feel well and truly at home."

You could hear a great warmth in his voice when he said this. You pondered on this, wondering if he meant to hint at something there when you notice the rain had stopped.

"Hey, the rain's gone!" You said before departing from the window. You stretch, careful not to accidentally spill the contents of your mug as you do so. You then walk forward a bit, looking over at your colleague as you do so.

You can't help but pause, however, at the way he stared longingly at the mug.

His eyes were transfixed on the last bit of tea left, swirling the liquid in his hands. His usual piercing eyes were replaced with a far more softened gaze, pupils large and unfocused.

He glanced up at you, smirking, although it was out of contentment. You couldn't help but focus on his blush. He was obviously thinking about something, but what ?? The way he stared at you from below his eyelids, refusing to lift his head more, but still giving you his undivided attention made you feel... strange.

'What is this man thinking?'

Despite taking in every little thing you could about his strange behavior, the moment really only lasted a few seconds before he chuckled softly, sitting up straight himself.

"Ah, well then." He softly intoned. "We should probably head out. Would you..."

He rubbed the back of his neck.

"...do me the honor of... of letting me walk you outside?"

^^^>

The rain-kissed streets of Mesagoza smelled fresh, and the warmth in the air left you without the need of a jacket, so you decided to forego wearing it. Hassel seemingly felt the same way, taking his coat off and draping it over his right arm before gently placing his left dominant hand over top it, as if caressing it. He took a deep breath, eyelids closed and fluttering.

"Ahh... smell that evening air. The world has been rinsed clean and emerges anew!"

You smiled up at him. He truly did seem to appreciate every little thing this world had to offer, good or bad.

"Hah! Yeah, I love the smell of rain. Very cozy, makes me feel all peaceful and stuff."

You suddenly remembered something.

"O-oh! And did you know? The word describing that comfy smell of rain after a dry season is 'petrichor'!"

He looked at you, head tilted down and to the side at you, his wide eyes showing his astonishment.

"I did not! Thank you for enlightening me, I now know a far simpler way to describe this feeling."

You beamed up at him, eyes closing momentarily as you grinned a toothy grin. When your eyes opened again, his face had an enchanted smile. That blush... it was back.

A coincidence, surely.

You decided to pretend you didn't notice.

"Oh, hey! It's a nice evening. Would you like to take a little walk?"

You bow slightly, looking up at him and offering your hand. He flinches slightly, eyes widening again as his face erupted in a deeper hue.

"Uh, y-yes. Yes I would."

He hastily grabs your hand and moves to face forward, avoiding your gaze. The man was probably in his early-to-mid 50's or 60's, but his voice audibly cracked. You didn't mention it, however, much to his relief.

^^^>

Here you are, splashing and kicking about in some puddles. You brought rain boots with you to keep at the school because the weather seemed to change at a sneeze in Paldea, but you really didn't mind. You loved the rain. You also loved having company, even super posh and serious company. You called for your companion.

"C'MON, HASS! WHY NOT GET YOUR PANTS WET THIS ONE TIME!?"

He was leaning away, seemingly trying to protect his suit jacket.

"Er... I would rather not have to deal with dry cleaning for a few minutes of rebellion..."

You understood, although a part of you just wanted to see the man act like a child again. So you walked off to stare out into the distance, 'hmm'ing to yourself as you came up with an idea. This worried Hassel, who backed up a bit.

"My dearest, what is on your mind? I'm not sure I feel comfortable with your suspicious little 'hmm's..."

You let out a mischievous little cackle before turning your upper half back towards him. His nervous smiling face screams 'oh Arceus, save me!', yet he remains glued in place. He seems ready to bolt at any second, however.

"Oh, nothing." You start, turning to walk toward the man, whose nervous smile wavers a bit to being more worried.

"But I will break you."

He lets out a shakey noise, but he remains.

"Ah, well, it is alright. No need for, um, breaking." He grins. "I am quite content simply watching you enjoy yourself."

He seemed genuine. You groaned.

"Oh, I am still breaking you, sir." You point a finger at him, waggling it a little as you turn and walk away, although you don't retract it, simply shaking it to your side. "Juuuust you wait."

He 'hmmph's, shaking his head in amusement.

"I see, I am..."

He mumbles an 'Oh bother...' under his breath before continuing.

"...interested... to see whatever you have planned for the night."

You freeze. You didn't actually stop to think about when you'd "break" him. But tonight definitely works.

"Good. Cause it's gonna be WIIIIILD."

^^^>

It certainly was not nearly as wild as Hassel expected. Here you were, popping popcorn as he sat under a blanket fort in your living room. A part of you expected him to be giddy, feeling that childlike wonder take over.

But the logical part of you predicted his bewildered expression, silently staring up and around at the neon lights you hung about the dark room.

"So." he began. "What exactly did you have in mind?"

"Oh, I wanna remind you of what it's like to be a kid again! Let loose, man!" You did a strange little shimmying dance as you said this.

His eyes widened, although it was different than before.

"Really now?"

"Yes, really!"

The popcorn was finally done, so you put it in a large bowl before going over and putting it on the floor beside him.

"It's movie night now! Your choice..." You said, holding up several cases with classic movies.

The Little Primarina, The Pyroar King, even Revavrooms were available for him to choose from. He carefully looked them over, his usual neutral expression on his face as he seemed to seriously consider which movie to watch. It was kinda funny, your stomach compressing a little to hide a laugh that was threatening to come up. He didn't seem to notice however, instead pointing to one, looking back up at you in the process.

"That one looks promising."

^^^>

He chose poorly. Or at least, he chose one he wasn't prepared for. You watched as tears spilled from his eyes, him constantly shaking his head and whispering "no" over and over with the covers pulled up over his nose. The Steel Ultra Beast really did a number on him, watching the mysterious entity (who we now know as Celesteela) sacrifice itself to save its new friends from an Ultra Wormhole a secret branch of the government tried to seize, but instead caused to collapse. He yelped when it said to itself "Palafin." He couldn't bare to watch the climax, sobbing pitifully while squeezing his eyes shut, looking down and repeatedly chomping down on the blanket you two shared.

"It's Ok, Hass..." You said, rubbing his shoulder.

You had tried to warn him, but in all fairness, it'd take a lot of effort to properly warn anyone of the emotions involved watching it without spoiling the entire movie.

He leaned into you, his eyes still closed, tears still managing to escape.

"Th-thank you, my dearest..." He sniffles.

You felt bad for even having it as an option, but then again, he seemed to enjoy it despite the... sorrowful conclusion. You gave him a little while to let it all out, holding him tight and rubbing his back as he bawled his eyes out into your shoulder. You were so sucked up in comforting him that you almost forgot-

Gasp!

You sat up abruptly, although you hold onto Hassel so he's still lying on you.

"The ending scene!"

He's teary-eyed, but he looks over to the TV screen.

"The ending has not happened yet?"

"No! Or at least, not the true ending."

You smirk and look down at him like a Purrloin caught stealing but absolutely not regretting it, although his eyes are still sad. Either way, he kept watching, when...

"It... it is rebuilding itself?"

"Yeah! I mean, the movie never got a sequel, which sucks, but hey! Open-ended bittersweet endings are one of my favorite kinds!"

He seemed to feel slightly better, sniffling a bit as he sat up and wiped his nose.

"Ah, I-I see..." He said, slowly calming himself down. He took a few deep breaths before turning to you.

You feel the need to apologize.

"Hey, sorry I, uh, brought that movie out in the first place."

He looked at you, a weak smile on his face.

"Do not apologize, my dear! I can see why you and many others consider it a cult-classic. It was a marvellous story despite the turmoil in my heart. Perhaps even partially because of it."

He seemed hesitant to say the next part, sitting with his legs up to his chest.

"I, um, had a fantastic time with you tonight."

He turned to look at you, eyes sparkling due to the light of the TV.

"Really, I did."

There was so much warmth in his tear-stained face.

"I'm glad! I just wanted to see you let your guard down, haha!"

"Ah, I see..." He said, eyes darting to the side as he turned away, contemplation on his face.

The two of you sat in silence for a moment as he thought on what all just happened. You decided to close your eyes, lightly humming a tune to yourself. It wasn't one that existed, or even made sense really, but it was your own little melody.

"Ah, I have always wondered, is that a song you like?"

"Hehe, nah, just a melody I made up one day."

"Oh. It is very pleasant." He smiled.

"Thank you!" You smiled back.

^^^>

He had gone home later that night after you forced him to stay for pizza and a few episodes of a show you used to watch. He went for a salad instead, not wishing to feel sluggish on his way home, although you got him to eat one singular solitary slice. All-in-all, it was a very good night. You got him to smile and laugh again despite watching such a sad movie just an hour before.

It was now Friday, three days later. You knew he'd have something special planned for his students today, as he did every other Friday. You wondered what it'd be as you reorganized the shelf housing the Occulture Magazine again. You idly wondered how accurate the entries were when you heard a bell.

"Oh, classes are out already?"

You had already kept up with what the students in the entrance hall were up to that day, since there weren't many there to really pick up after, so really, all you had to do was a final check of the catalog you started earlier so you could pop by and see what Hassel had done that evening.

It took a bit over 30 minutes to wrap everything up, but you finished, signing out of your work computer and making your way over to the art room.

When you reached the door, you heard a familiar tune. You wondered what it was, before suddenly realizing something: it's the tune you hum! He remembered it? Has he hummed it before?

You entered the classroom, prepared to ask him how he remembered the erratic tune so well when you decided to see if he was in a state to even be distracted. Hassel was sitting at a desk, adding various dots with the aid of a thin paintbrush to a canvas he had. You assumed it was glitter or stars.

He looked up at you, neutral expression turning into a huge grin.

"Oh, my darling! Come over here! I have something I'd like to show you!"

You did as he said, coming over as he himself stood up to meet you at the other side of the desk.

He held up a painting, and by Arceus was it gorgeous. It was of Celesteela, flying into space, a content look on its face despite the doom looming over it.

"I used this as an example for today's lesson." He began. "I was inspired by our movie night earlier this week. I thought of the many pieces of media that make one feel things, the images and words that truly stick with you that came from another mind, how we often analyze and relate to them. So I decided to base this Friday's special on that very concept! Everyone was allowed to draw and paint their own favorite scenes from the movies, shows, and games they enjoy."

You nodded, still taking in all the details of his painting. He based it off a real photo of Celesteela, a sorta modern "glow up" of sorts that make the familiar scene truly pop.

He continued.

"This piece was meant to represent the acceptance Celesteela showed during the climax of the film. How it smiled despite facing what it thought at the time was oblivion. How it..." He swallowed and blinked harshly a few times. "...it would do anything for... the ones they lub... w-without he... hesi-"

You put a hand on his shoulder, smiling. The man looked back down at you, obviously on the brink of tears as he swallowed and sniffled a bit.

"Heh... I suppose you wouldn't need my analysis, seeing as though that tape of yours was so well-loved."

He had taken note of how the label on the tape wasn't perfectly pristine.

You scoffed, playfully rolling your eyes.

"Yeah, well..." You continued to look off to the side. "I like it when things make me feel things."

He softly laughed, a few stray tears finally escaping. He closed his eyes while leaning his head back for a moment.

"Yes, I can tell. You seem to enjoy learning about descriptive words and how specific they can get..."

He trailed off before wiping his tears away, finally looking down at you again.

"Well, speaking of, would you like to... accompany me at my booth for the academy's upcoming fair? It would be nice to teach people more ways to express themselves and how they feel about the things they consume. It is truly saddening to see people keep their opinions to themselves simply because they do not know how to accurately bring their thoughts into the world. And as a self-proclaimed 'word nerd', your area of expertise would be an excellent addition to my own inspiration station, alleviating the frustration they feel and helping them dig up what they feel inside."

You blinked. Hassel, the Hassel wanted to work with you? You thought he was far more articulate than you, often gnawing at what he says in your mind and trying to emulate that vibe in your emails. I mean, you often said "lmao" in real life. Having an interest in words sadly didn't make you a wordsmith of any sort. Did he see something in the way you speak or express yourself that you didn't?

"I'll d-do it."

Woah, how nervous were you? Or, rather, how eager were you?

Hassel's golden eyes shone as he grinned, ecstatic at your 'yes'.

"Ah, do not worry, my dear! You will do amazingly, I just know it."

Looks like you're gonna need to break out the thesaurus.

^^^>

It was the afternoon of the "Treasures Within" fun fair. Hassel's booth was really fun, he'd do his usual demo thing while also personally helping people start their artistic journeys when they didn't quite know where to go after each session. His advice came from a place that personally helped him cope and start his life anew in his past, although he didn't delve into just how it helped, only that he understands the struggle.

As for you, if someone wanted to articulate exactly how they felt about a piece of art or music, you'd hold a "mind unraveling" session, where you picked out certain themes they repeated or tried to go deeper in until they felt confident in describing what it is they feel with words that felt right. You thanked yourself for having the forethought to read up and watch a bunch of impassioned speeches online ahead of time.

It was a month of you hiding your anxiety from Hassel, but you can tell he knew, as he not-so-subtly tended to your every unspoken need, such as making tea whenever you were too busy reading, or having a comfy spot prepared whenever you came to his room to discuss your plans. He would even manage to check in on you more often than usual despite needing to tend to things on his own end.

Nothing could really get past him, could it?

As you were finishing up helping a kid who wanted to express just why he loved a drawing where Regieleki and Xurkitree became friends so much, you turn to see Hassel already looking at you, a familiar fond smile on his face.

"I would say today was a success, no?"

You pause for a split second, although you're not sure why. You respond, however.

"Oh yeah, for sure! I'd say we make a great team, even!"

Now it was Hassel's turn to pause, although his is far more noticeable. Jolting slightly, his mouth suddenly presses together into a tight line as a blush erupts on his face. He pretends to not realize this, although he looks tense.

"I certainly agree, my dear-"

His voice momentarily rises in pitch as he abruptly chokes and doubles over at the end, turning away. It sounded genuine, although you wondered if it'd have happened if you didn't say what you did.

You couldn't help but look back on all his odd behaviors around you lately.

"Um, yes!"

You turn to a vendor.

"I'm..."

You momentarily turn back to the man, pointing over your shoulder to the stand.

"I'm gonna go get some juice. For you, specifically."

You then turn and leave without another word.

^^^>

It was night. The fun fair has long since been cleared out in Mesagoza, but the two of you were nowhere near the town anymore. In fact, you were on top of the lighthouse on Poco Path.

Your eyes were closed, taking in that sea breeze. You cooed softly as you felt the gentle wind cut through the otherwise muggy night. Despite the humidity, it felt nice, reminding you of summer nights as a child.

Your train of thought came to an abrupt halt at this realization, however.

What was the weather like where Hassel used to live?

You opened your eyes, slowly turning toward the man, who also had his own closed. He had a calm smile on his face. You didn't want to ruin it, but you couldn't help but feel bad. He left all that was familiar to him due to circumstances he couldn't control, at the hands of his own family, no less. You wondered if he had any particular places, feelings, or things he missed, but you decided to ask a different question.

"...hey, uh... Hass?"

His smile widened for a split-second before he responded, eyes still closed.

"Yes, my dear?"

You didn't know how to begin.

"Does this weather make you think of anything?"

His smile fell to a neutral frown as he thought.

"Hm. What do you mean?"

How do you ask this question without annoying him...?

"L-like, this weather reminds me of summer break, when I'd open my window past my usual bedtime and stare at the stars. Does this weather make you feel nostalgic in any way? Like, sentimental and peaceful and stuff?"

You look down, stretching the bottom hem of your top a little. "It's just an intense feeling I'm getting, sorry."

He takes a moment to ponder this question.

"Ah, no worries. We often feel the need to relate with others in regards to our intense feelings and emotions. But to answer your question, it does, yes."

This answer both relieved and confused you further. He seemed fine answering, but it was somewhat vague. You decided not to push it, however, just glad he didn't take it the way you thought he might (not that it'd be wrong if he didn't want to answer it at all.)

"Right on, man. Right on..."

You turned away and stared back out into the distance. The silence that swept over the scene felt loose, fluid, running through and around the two of you like some unknown substance.

You weren't sure if you should add anything onto the conversation, but his voice decided what would happen instead.

"I... have a confession to make, actually."

You froze.

"Yeah?"

He took a deep breath.

"That feeling you often speak of, the one where you feel a lightness in your chest and peace wash over you. A peaceful sadness, even, I do not really feel when I think of 'home' anymore. I feel nothing. "

You take his words in. It made sense, really, but it made you sad beyond belief.

He continued.

"Yes, that feeling of longing, a-and belonging, I know it may be hard to truly grasp, but trust me when I say I am fine with my decisions, that I cannot say I regret leaving my old life behind even if I do miss certain aspects of it from time to time. The negatives here far outweigh the positives there."

You nodded. Honestly, this convo was all your mind needed to extinguish your curiosity for a good while. He left home, and he's content with his current life, no matter how much he may miss certain aspects of it. No elaboration needed.

Except, there was some elaboration needed, only it was needed elsewhere.

"Oh! And your confession? Or was that your confession?"

He paused, body tensing as his grip on the handrails tightened. His breathing became slightly labored as a blush creeped onto his face.

"Um, well..."

He mumbled an "Oh dear..." to himself before continuing.

"When I said I have things here that make me feel at home, I meant the connections I've made. I love the people in my life far more than I love my family. I still care for them, yes. I can confidently say I love them, but I cannot say I actually like them."

He wasn't looking at you. Your mind was swimming with possibilities for what he planned on saying next, although you had the faintest idea...

"I... am very fond of you, too. I often find that I feel that peaceful feeling around you in particular."

He swallowed, eyes stinging with tears he tried desperately to blink away. He was holding his composure quite well, actually. You subconsciously held your breath.

"My darling dearest, I cannot hide how I feel for much longer, no matter how hard I try... I think... I believe I am... falling in love with you."

Your mind went blank as you stared up at the man, heart and stomach dropping in an instant. His eyes have closed yet again. His shuddering shoulders and shaky breath gave everything away, however.

He lifted his arm, covering his eyes as you continued to stare wide-eyed at him.

"I am so very sorry, my dear! I-I hobe you do nod feel cornered by my conbession!" He sobbed. "I shall make my leab ib- ib you wish do be aloooone! BWUHH-HU-HU-HU-HUHHHHH!!"

You could barely understand what he was saying. He had already started to walk away when you finally closed your mouth. You weren't even aware you were gaping at him, the confession shutting your senses down despite halfway expecting something along these lines at this point. You guessed actually hearing him say it was different to speculating quietly to yourself...

"W-wait! Mr. Hassel!"

You grabbed his free arm, stopping him from getting any further. His cries continued, however.

"I-I'm sorry! I was just so shocked, I-"

You look down, still processing the feeling of your heart pounding in your chest. You hadn't even realized you were shaking so much until you realized how oddly... weak your grip on his arm felt.

"I-I jus-"

He took a few rapid half-breaths before stopping you.

"You do nod h-hab do gib me a resbonse! Nod now, nod eb-eberrrrr!"

You considered this. Truthfully, the idea of giving dating Hassel a shot didn't seem half-bad. You looked up to him, admired his skill and his strength despite everything he's been through. Not to mention, you admittedly found the man kinda cute. His personality just struck you as so sincere, taking his work and emotions very seriously. He's a very honest man, so he must truly love you. You'd definitely feel secure with him...

"...you're right... about the me needing time thing." You began. "B-but once I sort my feelings out, maybe we can get to know each other some more?"

He was still trembling, breath catching up with him as he hyperventilated. But a few seconds later, while heavily panting, he could respond.

"I-I would lub that!!"

He had turned to you, eyes still closed, head still tilted back, but he grabbed both of your hands and gently brought them up a little closer to himself. As he finally caught his breath and started breathing at a normal pace (aside from the large, shallow breaths he took), he slowly opened his eyes, looking at you, blush ever present on his face. His eyes sparkled with an intensity you'd never seen before as he smiled, the bottoms of his eyes crinkling as he did so. For a split-second, he looked like a young man again...

The two of you stood there, a tranquil feeling coming over you, when you heard him start to whimper. His mouth wobbled for a second before he suddenly started bawling again, causing your eyes to widen. You then let out an odd chuckle.

"Oookay, big guy. C'mere."

You took him into a hug, causing him to cry even louder as he let his overwhelming emotions out.

^^^>

It had been a few weeks. You were thinking back on everything that had happened. The moment you realized 'maybe he feels stronger feelings toward me than I thought.' How he went along with your weird plans despite having better things to do, how he looked out for your well-being by going above and beyond for you and truly understanding your needs, how he always praised and incorporated you into his work...

You absent-mindedly flip through some pages of Occulture Magazine. It really didn't seem too realistic now that you actually had a chance to sit down and read through it, but strangely enough, that wasn't really what you were thinking about right now.

You stand up, putting the book back on the shelf, a smile on your face as you make your way to the art room. He was on break at the moment.

You approach the open door, leaning against it and knocking, catching his attention.

"O-oh! Hello there!" He quickly clears his throat. "I'm very happy to see you! What brings you here?"

You look around, making sure nobody was there to hear this.

"Hoooow about... we go see a movie this Saturday?"

^^^>

A/N

I KNOW THIS STORY IS A LITTLE ODD! Like, he seems to be madly in love with you already, to an obvious degree, but this is the first time you take note of anything, right? Well, it's one of those "Oh yeah, there were signs" sorta situations. The pottery night you had with him was a small hint that he was already looking out for your well-being well before this and giving you special attention, but you just didn't think much of it. Plus, he's quite emotional, you imagine that once he finds a friend he feels safe around, his even more complex feelings come out. Which, true, but also HE DOES STUFF AROUND YOU THAT HE ONLY DOES AROUND YOU BUT YOU DON'T NOTICE CAUSE HE IMMEDIATELY CHANGES HIS BEHAVIOR ONCE HE REALIZES YOU'RE NEARBY. You defo noticed that behavior change, but again, he changes a bit around close friends already, and you didn't really have a point of reference for what his "normal" is (yet)

Sorry, I just love the pining dude genre, gimme some more oblivious love interests for male characters, please! Your gender still isn't stated, I just wanted Hassel to be the one to be super soft and like "Yes please notice me" while you're like "Huh. Cool. He just asked to take me to a new café. So anyway, how about some more weirdly specific words?" IT'S SUPER CUTE AHH

Also, speaking of, the story was gonna have them going to a café instead of a walk, and him talking about some beautiful customs and traditions from around the world and bringing up the Applin thing as a super duper totally subtle hint at his feelings, but you'd genuinely not know of that tradition before, so you'd just see it as a neat little cultural tidbit, but then I was like "bruh they just had tea", so I changed it to them spending time together like kids cause I thought it'd be cute if you got through to him to get him to experience things from a childhood he couldn't enjoy (even if it is more based on your own childhood, you're trying! Consider the night they shared here a test run). No worries, in future installments, reader will begin to fully understand what he went through growing up (I tried to make their questions less about his family and more about his life in general, but of course, the two are forever linked.) The idea of the little fair came randomly, based on the fact that all the gym leaders seem to have some career where they express themselves (even Larry with his "normal old job(s)," although obviously it's all more complicated than that), plus the entire game has frequent themes of people finding where they fit in life, what they wanna do, their dreams/goals, things like that. It's pretty interesting, actually, I can't articulate myself well tho so RIP I guess

ALSO ALSO not gonna edit this one cause the Tumblr app COULD NOT HANDLE IT LAST TIME so yeah

OH YEAH I HAVEN'T SEEN THE IRON GIANT IN 66 MILLION YEARS SO SORRY, I JUST TOOK WHAT I REMEMBERED AND POKÉ-FIED IT, I'm just going to use the excuse that the legends of the Ultra Beasts go WAY back, so the Celesteela in the movie may look simplified by comparison due to them not having a complete picture of it compared to the characters in S/US/M/UM. The movie doesn't even say its name, simply referring to it as the Steel Ultra Beast because nobody knew their names yet

[quirkle2]

Okay! Actual ranch au question time - until the ranch is expanded, who is sleeping where? Because that seems like absolute chaos. Also like. Which of them struggle the most adjusting and in what ways? Not just the why, but the little things they do that make it obvious. I guess maybe even what little things all of them carry over from their befores? (Sorry just... rambling whatever things that came to mind)

just like when they were adventuring, they pretty much settle wherever ! most of the time that involves a big cuddle pile in the living room <3 it's basically turned into a glorified guest bedroom for a while until time can get to planning the expansions and getting help from all of them to build them. the boys r used to sleeping like that anyway, so they don't mind it at all—they missed each other after being separated, so cuddling is always nice

it Is chaos though. a living room is smaller than an entire clearing they might've set up camp in during their journey. their bags and shoes take up like an entire fourth of the kitchen where the front door is, and u better believe the kitchen is very crowded during meal time GVIEAGYV they basically have to remodel the Entire house—they're accommodating for 8 extra people after all! plus,, time and malon only have one bathroom when the boys first start living there . winces in sympathy

all of them struggle to adjust a little, some more than others. legend is So very not used to just,,,, lounging around. he's not used to staying in one place, and he's Definitely not used to not spending all of a precious break preparing for the next day of traveling. he struggles to sit still and get into that mindset of just,, relaxing and living. he seems rly tense and unwilling to let his guard down for a while before he's able to truly let himself lounge around

it's a bit jarring for wars to not have Anything pressing to do as well. he's,,, Always doing smth, whether that be tending to his troops back "home," finishing up paperwork, going to meetings, makin sure the chain is alright,,, u name it. he's a rly busy guy. so now that he's just....... sitting here ..............................doing fuck all, it's very odd for him. he's almost Forgotten how to relax

wars sticks himself to odd jobs around the ranch; old projects time had that never got done, touching up the house, Cleaning the house, helping w the horses. time Knows what he's doing (the fear of being thrown out is still fresh in wars' mind,,, time hates that that's been drilled into him so ruthlessly growing up). and he Knows that wars will lose his marbles if he has nothing to do, so time ends up givin him,, Simple jobs . jobs that won't utterly destroy his still-young bones, but will still occupy him

after a Long while—many reassurances and the chain being ever so patient— wars manages to,, unlearn that lesson, at least a little bit. he stops being paranoid abt abandonment when he takes a day to just relax, and even though it's not a straight shot to recovery and wars definitely has days where he buries himself in work and acts like they'll instantly kick him out if he doesn't do the dishes, he's getting there. he takes up reading a lot again :) and even starts writin that book he'd always wanted to

sky has to adjust to living On Ground . he walks outside and surprisingly isn't in vague danger from falling off an island and to his death, and that's . an adjustment GVIYEAGV he misses touching the clouds. his favorite spot to hang out is on top of the roof where he can feel the wind a bit better. he naps there

wind misses the sea and his family, but rly he takes the change quite well. he's finally back to Being a Kid and,, sliding down the hall on socked feet and stealing cookies from malon's trays and annoying (/aff) his brothers relentlessly <3 a chunk of his childhood was kinda stolen away right along w his sister, but maybe bein here will allow him to make up for at least some of it

another who takes the change in stride is twi :) living on a ranch is definitely in his comfort zone and he loves staying there—absolutely adores giving a helping hand and tending to the animals. i think the strangest part for him is Living With Time . he's past the shell-shock of it by now, of course, but he's still aware it's so so strange . if Future Twi had come to Past Him during his journey and pointed to the Hero's Shade and said "that'll be ur father figure and you'll live on a nice lil ranch together w all ur homies" twi would have thought the weird fog permeating the realm he'd been put in was eating away at his braincells.

can't think of anything else for the other boys atm, but i do know that it's an adjustment for All of them to see time so,, peaceful and happy. once he has everybody together and settled down, no more dangers threatening the lives of his kids, he'sSo fucking relieved. the first morning after everybody is there is such a surreal experience. it's their first breakfast in a home that may just be permanent for once, and hearin all the chaos of 10 people in a small kitchen and his family playfully shoving each other to get to the ketchup, he just Smiles . it's the noisiest breakfast him and malon have ever experienced and yet they Cherish the sound

[rrxnjun]

OML OKAY i like john green too <3 i love looking for alaska. i recently read turtles all the way down and oof it hit really hard. next on my tbr is papertowns and then i’ll be done with all of his books (hi i’m obsessed with his writing style hkjg) and ooh i haven’t read any from j.d. salinger. the catcher in the rye is the only book of his i’ve heard of </3 i’ll check him out soon. YUSSSUH i love dystopian books too. dkfjg this just made me realise that they made up almost 60% of my life as a bookworm. the maze runner is my favourite out of all i’ve read !! the adrenaline rush it gave was unparalleled. i’ve also read hunger games, divergent, ready player one and a few more from the dystopian genre but i don’t remember them rn. also unless my physics books count for smth, no i’m not reading anything 😭😭 i was reading war storm by victoria aveyard (the red queen series.) and it’s going good but i’m taking a break bc exams </3

AHHH you play the guitar :0 ? THAT’S SO COOL and no idk how to play any instruments. i have literally no knowledge about instruments so sheet music is just, so weird for me even after a friend tried explaining it gdfgdf i learn classical music tho so i can sing to some extent 

OMG YESSS OVERDOSE IS JUST SO HGFKGF it just activates this part in my brain and makes me go grrr. YESS the playlist was literally me putting in my fave of fave songs so i’m glad you like it and kdjfhd i love going crazy too it was in my spotify wrapped’s top 10 last year. OKAYYY since exo is kind of sort of completely dormant rn there’s literally just crumbs and older content left for the fans </3. you can check out this channel and this video. warning: exo-l territory = crackzone NOT EVEN KIDDING this place is wild lmao. expect what you will from neocity’s sunbaenims <3 also lmk your bias so that we can collectively lose it all together <3

gosh i listened to all of fandom’s songs but i felt younger when we met still stays the fave (i said i loved you to death so i must be dead 🙇🏾‍♀️) easy to hate might be a second kjfgd it’s so. good. i’ve been playing it on loop too dfjhdjh 

oml pls i really needed to see that 🤧 tysm bar !! i really can’t wait to get into uni ngl i am excited for that. but it’s also slightly weird bc the last year of high school sentiments have finally started hitting and they’re hitting hard </3 it’s funny how we spend sm time with friends we’ve known like, forever, and don’t really treat every moment as smth special till it all comes to an end. ahh i was really planning on making the most of my hs years but pandemic decided to be a pain in the ass. nvm tho. 17 is weird and it feels like time’s running fast i do plan on making sm good memories 💪🏾

NOW BACK TO TALKING AB SM VIP THINGS

THIS AGENDA IS GOING SO STRONG hfjgkdafgdja also oml i did notice that yn doesn't smoke around yangyang after that scene but thought that it was just me being delusional hhh i think ab that fic sm and yangyang just amplified that brainrot by doing this

HEAD EMPTY NO THOUGHTS JUST HE KDJFHGDKF HGD laptop's dying from all the ss i took lol

also the dreamies concert 👀 .. hyuck... renj-?? ... cue my brain giving up

p.s. hihii this took me so long 😭 it’s exam season for like the next 2 weeks so the pressure is finally catching up w me also your words really meant a lot to me tysm for them <3 have a segci day/night and stay safe ily

I MISSED YOU !!!!!!!! im glad youre back 🥺🥺 looking for alaska and turtles all the way down are my most fav from john green!! paper towns was really beautiful and its my friends favorite,, however id say that amongst john green books, id put it somewhere in the bottom tbh. hope you enjoy it tho!! i had to read the catcher in the rye for my exams last year but i surprisingly enjoyed it so much its one of my most fav books now! also the fact that i read and loved all the dystopian books you mentioned 😩😩 taste.

i do play the guitar! not very well tho, i only know the basic chords hhhh so the yy fic was kind of self indulgent in a way LMAO but you can sing?? 😯😯 thats impressive. could never be me i absolutely suck AJJAJA

i will never skip overdose or monster when they come on shuffle theyre just THAT good. i listen to exo a lot recently bc of you😭😭 i watched the videos and WHY ARE THEY SO CHAOTIC i am in love w them SJJS feel free to send more content my way!!! i think my biases are baekhyun (expected) and chanyeol (also expected) 👀👀 literally tell me everything abt them im ready to listen. baek is very funny and chaotic and theres just something abt chanyeol that pulls me to him. i also like sehun tho! idk what this tells abt me feel free to psychoanalyze AHAHHA also kyungsoo is so funny i completely get why you ult him

17 went by so fast for me as well bro and the last year of hs even faster... to think that i didnt have prom bc of corona but i had exams that were cancelled 2 years in a row the previous years 💀 i hope you make the best out of your last year!! i start uni in a week and im shitting my pants its so scARY I DONT KNOW THE CITY OR THE PPL AND THIS GUY I MET ON A PARTY THAT I LOWKEY AVOIDED LIVES THERE AND HE KEEPS REACHING OUT TO ME THROUGH MY FRIEND AND HE ASKED IF I WANNA COME OVER AND NOW IM PANICKING EVEN MORE 😭😭😭😭

yangyang and me are soulmates. its confirmed. also youre not delusional at all it was intended!!! sjsj im honored to hear that you think abt my fic a lot but also YANGYANG UGH that sc !!! instant brainrot. i dont actually think he can play that guitar but its okay 😩😩😩😩

IVE BEEN FREAKING OUT OVER THE DREAM CONCERT EVER SINCE I SAW THE CLIPS. RENJUN GOING WILD IN THAT GLASS BOX AND DONT EVEN MENTION HYUCK BC WHEN HE KISSED THAT GLASS BOX FROM THE INSIDE, I LOST MY MIND. BUT ALSO THEY ARE SUCH GOOD PERFORMERS THEY DID SO WELL AND I LOVE THEM TO DEATH OMG :(((((( LITERALLY CRIED AT RENJUNS MENT! FUN TIMES! :D ALSO DEAR DREAM LIVE. CRIED LITERAL WATERFALLS OF TEARS THAT SONG HURTS SM TO LISTEN TO BUT IS ALSO MY BIGGEST COMFORT OHGOD

have a good day stay safe!! good luck with your exams i love u xx

[caltropspress]

RAPS + CRAFTS #18: Slumber Logic

1. Introduce yourself. Past projects? Current projects?

Slumber Logic, Toronto Producer/MC. 

Past projects: Greyscale Oblivion (album, production and vocals) 2021; Talking to Walls - w/ Mantis the Miasma (album, production and vocals) 2022; Live From the Corner - w/ TreDoes (EP, production only) 2022; Juan Ep is Life Podcast theme song.

Current Projects: Serenity Now - w/ Darkfield (EP, vocals only) 2023; Detachment, Homie and Only Detachment (production and vocals) 2023.

I’ve been making beats for 18 years rapping for 16, and was off the internet until 2019.

2. Where do you write? Do you have a routine time you write? Do you discipline yourself, or just let the words come when they will? Do you typically write on a daily basis?

My only consistent, extended alone-time is between 9:00 pm and 1:00 am in my basement studio these days. I prefer outside in the morning, but my 1-year-old rises at 7. Because I do beats as well, this isn’t necessarily dedicated writing time, just the only time and place I can write.

I've been writing at least 20 minutes a day, every day, as a rule for the past 5 years; verses or a hook, editing, rewriting, poetry, journaling, but the 20 has to be for songwriting. 20 turns into hours when there’s time, but the M.O. is keeping the motor running, even if just a little. The subconscious throws out more to work with when it’s getting exercise. I seldom break the rule and it’s excruciating sometimes, but rewarding.

Throughout the day, I write ideas in bullet points in the small notebook starting from the bottom of the page–anything remotely inspired. The best words do not come where they will. They follow Murphy’s Law when they choose to pull up, and I don’t remember things, so I write them down in the car, out the shower, falling asleep, jogging, cooking, washing dishes and all that. I put these together in the evening.

3. What’s your medium—pen and paper, laptop, on your phone? Or do you compose a verse in your head and keep it there until it’s time to record?

I have one small notebook for ideas and sketches, one larger sketchbook with fancy thick paper for putting the sketches together into longer segments and rewrites, and a 2’ x 3’ sketchpad (The Big Bastard) to keep scrap bullet points in one place.

Once something is almost done in the big book, I type it into Google Docs and record the demo sitting down with a mic on a moveable arm so I can edit as I go. I’ll rework in Docs on the laptop or phone if it’s still not done, but try to stay away from those because social media is devastatingly distracting. 

I admire folks who can write a verse in their head. I can do that with beat ideas, but can barely remember the date on a good day.

4. Do you write in bars, or is it more disorganized than that?

I’m usually compiling snippets and editing, subbing, filling blanks, so it’s scrappy collage work to finalize something cohesive. It’s with the intention of fitting into a bar structure, but there’s lots of stream of consciousness connectors that get whittled and adapted very slowly until, lo, bars.

5. How long into writing a verse or a song do you know it’s not working out the way you had in mind? Do you trash the material forever, or do you keep the discarded material to be reworked later?

Usually, I scrap most of what I write per sitting, but hoard the dross in bullet points and the Big Bastard, if I’m organized. A lot of songs are built off these. Years of killing darlings for cohesivity keeps me loose enough to not ditch the entire verse. A 16 usually takes me about a week, on a good week. 

If I decide not to move forward, it’s usually after a few hours of work. I’m always pushing past the feeling that it’s not working because it usually works out, but I’ve got a couple abandoned joints where the concept was very ambitious/specific and I either wrote myself into a corner, stopped feeling inspired to continue the concept, or decided the verse would best suit another beat. 

I gave up on many songs in my 20s. They could have been fire had I seen them through, but I hadn’t yet learned the patience to turn potential into something I could live with in the long term.

6. Have you engaged with any other type of writing, whether presently or in the past? Fiction? Poetry? Playwriting? If so, how has that mode influenced your songwriting?

I’ve written poems for years, but these days it takes a conscious effort to leave them as poems and not work them into songs. I wrote a screenplay years ago and several short stories more recently. Adapting descriptive styles, dialogue, atmosphere into song form is something I work at.

I’ve taken a few creative writing and poetry courses as an adult. With poetry, it helps me get loose in a medium where the reader more often assumes intentionality with challenging work and works to unravel it, rather than incompetence, which is how my neural pathways formed as a young MC. This line of thinking helped me become less judgemental towards my own writing and that of others. My process of heavy whittling was itself whittled by having to hand shit in, and I decided over the course of these courses that it doesn’t count unless I actually hand shit in. That helped me decide when joints are done.

I journal frequently to sort out life issues, and cement memories and gratitude, which often gets paraphrased into raps. Lots of joints are just fly journal entries. My joint “Tardigrade Finnegan’s Wake” is about journaling for resilience.

7. How much editing do you do after initially writing a verse/song? Do you labor over verses, working on them over a long period of time, or do you start and finish a piece in a quick burst?

Everything’s a stage but right now, I’ll mention again, I labour to all hell. I’ve only more recently learned how long it takes for me to be truly satisfied with the end product in the long term and the patience to see it through. Even then it’s elusive. A quick verse for me is usually a week, but some take months, some years. I haven’t put out any verses since the bad old days that didn’t take at least one edit. This is fluid and may change with time but there’s always a feeling that I’m shooting for at the end of it. If I don’t achieve that feeling then I’m not done. 

A few bits of writing advice I keep close are “kill your darlings” (if it doesn’t serve the premise, no matter how much you like it, cut it) and write shitty first drafts (get the thoughts down without judging). Dan-O of Freemusicempire reminded me recently; take the best line from the draft and make every other line as good as that. If I’m stuck, new lines present themselves in the process of rewriting. Time consuming, but seeing out the process that works for me is comforting most of the time. 

8. Do you write to a beat, or do you adjust and tweak lyrics to fit a beat?

Depends on the day. Beats and electronics can be distracting, so total silence is helpful for ideas, and I can ditch the devices. Once I have something, I’m recording it and tweaking to the beat. 

If it's a 4/4 70-110 bpm, I can usually hear 4 bars and map the syllable rhythms in silence, sometimes marking the beat to start on, notes for speed tone and inflection, sometimes recording in a phone app. That initial rush of the first take is hindered if I’m bored with the beat already, so silence helps. If it's drumless or a different time signature, I'm listening to the beat for cues and writing at the desk with the mic arm. Klwn Kat just gave me something so messed up recently, the silent approach doesn’t work here. 

Writing just to write without a beat in mind is helpful, too. I’ll have ideas or concepts that I need to flesh out and know I can adapt them to a beat later.

9. What dictates the direction of your lyrics? Are you led by an idea or topic you have in mind beforehand? Is it stream-of-consciousness? Is what you come up with determined by the constraint of the rhymes?

Usually, the beat suggests a topic/vibe/sentence, and I’ll use that as a lead, or choose a beat around one true sentence. Sometimes I’ll have one that fits in the bullet points or Big Bastard, sometimes it’s on the fly, but I’m usually building off that first sentence. I do that with beats too–the intro and first 10 seconds set the standard of quality I want the rest to meet. Not always–it has to be a fluid process with room for error and changes or else it’s frustrating. 

Stream-of-consciousness is a great exercise to flesh out the idea, fill in gaps, say something literal to connect ideas, or thicken the plot. I usually edit it so that I’m impressed by every line both on paper and in the recording after letting it breathe. Journaling helps establish direction, asking “where is this going/what am I trying to say here?” has gotten me out of some bar jams, as in real life.

The end product is always constrained by the rhymes to a degree. 90s NY boom bap is ingrained in my musical DNA and there was a tight technical expectation or else you weren't doing it right. I still have more I want to release with tight rhyme schemes, but have been developing a looser style–it’s just a matter of me being satisfied with a less technical flow.

10. Do you like to experiment with different forms and rhyme schemes, or do you keep your bars free and flexible?

I experiment. My default flows allow me to focus more on what needs to be said. I need to evolve rhythmically and break away from what comes ingrained, and that only happens by trying new things. There's much to explore and that keeps the process exciting. Drumless joints motivate a looser flow, pulling off not rhyming is a skill just as rhyming to a tight meter, and because I've been doing the latter for so long, the former is almost more of a “skill.” There can be heavy nuance in a well-delivered classic flow pattern.

11. What’s a verse you’re particularly proud of, one where you met the vision for what you desire to do with your lyrics?

I’m proud of how “A Steppenwolf’s Whirling Dervish” starts (from Detachment, Homie, and Only Detachment.) I wanted to do a full story in 2nd point-of-view narration steeped in metaphor for emerging from reclusion. 

I have a joint collaboration album with Rap Man Gavin (release slated for late 2023) that I worked on for about 3 weeks. It's a story with dialogue between me and a priest. I expect him to evict me because I'm drinking and smoking in the pews but I end up taking his confession of his and the church's failures. Eventually he renounces his faith in lieu of the deity of technology. I had the general story outlined but really struggled balancing a clear plot arc, transitions, unique language, dialogue and metre. I kept at it, rewriting, trying new ideas, trashing lots, but listening back, I think it stands up.

12. Can you pick a favorite bar of yours and describe the genesis of it?

“But how I was complicit in creating the conditions so thoughtlessly counter to the outcome of the mission?

And how do I condition someone so willing to play the victim that they’re both worthy of love and the firmest versions of discipline?”

With “Rakes,” I was trying to write about these physical jolts I get when thinking about painful events in my past. More specifically, mistakes I’ve made that have hurt others and myself. At worst, they jolt you out of your sleep or train of thought and it feels like you got slammed in the face with a rake (the beat is sprinkled with sound clips of Sideshow Bob stepping on rakes). Thinking about mental health in black-and-white, I can either say, “I made mistakes and hurt because I’m a piece of shit,” or “All these things were outside of my control, and I did the best I could,” but it’s often both, and finding the degree to which either one is more true is trying. The album title Grayscale Oblivion represents following that dichotomy to the bottom of the spiral until you don’t know what is what, and by doing so, subconsciously learning the tools to climb out and regain decisiveness. To what degree of responsibility I have over my own happiness; how much is chemical and genetic, how much of it we are able to influence, how I can take more responsibility and forgive myself for my chemical makeup and blunders. Like a serenity prayer for clinical depression. We inevitably learn even when static, even while failing. 

The two bars are an interpolated question that came up in an interview with Jerry Colona: “How have I been complicit in creating the conditions I say I don’t want?” I wasn’t going to cold jack the whole line, so I left it in my notebook as “How have I been complicit in creating the conditions _____________” and journaled to work out the but. That was both music and personal work. 

In memory, the second half was trying to transcribe “I’m trying to be better, I have a tendency to take no responsibility, but I can love myself and look at the consequences of being flawed in the face–it’s both” into rhyme form. It’s playing with different options on the end word and syllable matching in between. I had to play with many options to meet the technical standard I was going for. Worked on that little bridge for a few hours over a couple of days, and I tell myself that’s why I’m still happy with it.

13. Do you feel strongly one way or another about punch-ins? Will you whittle a bar down in order to account for breath control, or are you comfortable punching-in so you don’t have to sacrifice any words?

I’m pro-punch-in as long as it’s indistinguishable where it needs to be. First recording drafts with a few punch-ins help establish the flow, then get more comfortable rapping it. I'll tweak as I go, sometimes leave in a punch if it suits. Sometimes the continuity of one take sounds better; sometimes the contrast in vocal tones accentuates beat transitions. The homie Rap Man Gavin does this very well. It's gotta be doable live, but I'll do both if and when it melts my butter. Most of my tracks are one-takes, but punch-ins have their place. ODB punched in all the time, and it sounded perfect. 

I’m steady whittling verses for breath control. Rap has always been a compromise between technicality and expressing what would be easier expressed in non-rhyme form. I expect the degrees of compromise to change over time.

14. What non-hiphop material do you turn to for inspiration? What non-music has influenced your work recently?

Therapy has helped me channel emotions without straight whining or being inauthentically aggressive. It’s given me tools to say what I’m feeling out loud, and rap allows me to get playful with that. Likewise, meditation inspires the writing in the sense that I’m often encouraging groundedness in songs. 

This is a condensed list but authors like Baldwin, Robbins (Tom), McCarthy, Pynchon, Angelou, Hesse, Vonnegut, Tim Kreider, Castaneda, Hunter S., and Salinger get me excited to attempt beautiful phrasing. Pema Chodron and Tara Brach have me thinking and writing much about acceptance, healthy detachment, and resilience. Books on the writing craft motivate me to persevere, Steven King’s On Writing, Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird, Hemingway’s On Writing. 

Then it’s just the stuff I’ve always loved. South Park, Aqua Teen, Chapelle, all things Eddie Murphy, Beavis and Butthead, Trailer Park Boys, Futurama, skate videos I grew up on. Cartoons and comedy. The art of skateboarding has so many parallels in terms of creative technicality and I try to work these less heady elements into my music. Eastern philosophy and judo inspires my mindset when I write.

Conversations with friends and family are always working their way in as well. Recently, I was talking to my homie Keith about our kids’ sleep difficulty and he said, “You have to pretend you’re 90 and on your deathbed and were given a time machine ride, but the ride only goes to this moment right now.”

15. Writers are often saddled with self-doubt. Do you struggle to like your own shit, or does it all sound dope to you?

Yes, saddled. It often sounds awful, and I worry about what other people think more than I should. Knowing I’m not alone in that, and acknowledging the variance of my reactions between listens, prevents it from hindering the process. The only solution is to push through and chip away until I can’t improve on it any further. Without the doubt, I may not have put in the hours to make music I can live with and be proud of sharing. 

Per the intro, I only started doing social media and connecting with folks online around 2021. I subscribed to the Rap Music Plug Podcast, joined Twitter and connected with some folks who give me frequent boosts, and I’d like to shout out to some of those MFs if it pleases the court: TreDoes, Rap Man Gavin, Dan-O, Levi, Rhino, Ayo Big Man, Mantis, nogod., Fick, Unsung, Bloodmoney Perez, Teddy Faley, Killvongard, Rohan, hbnd, Keith. 

All that said, doubt rises mostly when listening back. When the pen is hitting paper, there’s a core confidence I attribute to my teachers and homies in elementary and high school.  I could see their genuine shock that certain things came out of me. That feeling of being nice with it early on helps me never step lightly. Big thanks to my creative writing teacher Janet Somerville. I owe her a debt of gratitude. Please buy her books, hardcover.

16. Who’s a rapper you listen to with such a distinguishable style that you need to resist the urge to imitate them?

Such a good and difficult question. I have a few thoughts on this, so your patience is appreciated. 

In my early 20s it was One Be Lo and Deca. I was a sad sack because they were so close to the vision I had for my art, only years ahead. I avoided listening to them to avoid influence, because it was all so devastatingly impressive to me at that time. The feeling was, “This is so much better than I could ever be”–petty, arrogant, maybe true, but human. Over time I decided absorbing the influence, feeding off the inspiration, and creatively differentiating myself was more productive.

Further, Aesop Rock is to interesting rap word choice as The Simpsons is to sitcom plots. So many times I got smug about a unique word or play on a phrase and a week later bump Aes and realize it’s back to the drawing board. I Genius things sometimes to make sure I’m not getting too close to or bodied. 

Hemingway, problematic jackass though he was, said something like, "read everything so you know who you have to beat." Competitiveness has never helped me, but it’s good to know if your writing is as clever as you think it is, and what’s going to make eyes roll. Standards are elevating constantly, so I like to keep on top of it.

These days listening to unique folks is like watching a skate video before a session. You can’t duplicate Peter Smolik’s switch-back 5-0 at Hubba Hideaway, but it sure as hell makes you amped to skate, and you’ll dip into your own bag and shoot to evoke the same reaction. There’s power in that. 

Also, woods, SKECH185, E L U C I D, and Joe from Caltrops. If Joe rapped, we’d all be fucked. I listen to/read them lots, so the influence is ingrained. It’s not so much an urge to imitate, more to differentiate when it comes out unintentionally sounding like them.

17. Do you have an agenda as an artist? Are there overarching concerns you want to communicate to the listener?

My overarching goal is to create a catalog of records over many years that I’m proud of. Secondary to that, I’d like to build with more producers and MCs. Staying focused on creating a catalog anchors me so that external factors like recognition, promotion, media, don’t distract me from it. 

I’d like my joints to show how many sides there are to every story, the necessity of kindness and that harnessing it requires more power than its opposing force, that hurt people hurt people, and that we are accountable. I’d like to show my respects to the architects and trailblazers of the genre and be a part of the solution to the problem of white supremacy. I’d like to translate gorgeous narratives, devices, dialogues of other art forms into a rap format. I want every line to count and to show, not tell. I could be better at all of this, going back to the overarching goal: keep trying.

RAPS + CRAFTS is a series of questions posed to rappers about their craft and process. It is designed to give respect and credit to their engagement with the art of songwriting. The format is inspired, in part, by Rob McLennan’s 12 or 20 interview series.

Photo credit: Slumber Logic

[mlundertow]

Pulling a Haruka

tl;dr: Muv-Luv Undertow hasn’t been abandoned. I just have a lot going on right now.

So… long time, no write, right?

Yeah, it's probably been, what, a year and a half since I posted a chapter to Muv-Luv Undertow? You’d be fully justified in thinking it’s an abandoned fic.

Thing is, it’s not abandoned. It’s not dead.

It’s just… resting…

So… this is going to take some explaining. Content warning for severe medical conditions.

So, maybe the first thing to know about the author of Muv-Luv Undertow — that'd be me — is that I'm old, at least relative to most anime fans. Really frickin’ old. Long past the point where individual birthdays are interesting and you have to do math in your head to remember your exact age because it kind of doesn't matter anymore.

Like, seriously, the first election I could vote in was Reagan vs. Mondale, and I voted for whoever the Libertarian was, because I was still in the thrall of both-sides-are-bad poseur contrarian bullshit that took me far to long to outgrow. (That college friend that Noah mentions during the trial in book 3, the one with weirdo political opinions? That’s me trashing my younger self.)

Anyways, when you burn through your 30s, 40s, and 50s, one popular thing to do is to have kids. Both our societal traditions and contemporary media tell us this is an important, heartwarming, and even fun thing to do.

And sometimes it is!

But also, sometimes your kid is born with a congenital heart defect.

And sometimes that acts up with severe side-effects when they grow up.

And sometimes when they're in the hospital for that, a scan discovers cancer.

And sometimes when they're undergoing chemotherapy, they have a stroke.

And sometimes all of these things happen at once.

So… yeah. That's a big part of where I've been (there's more, which accounts for 2022 and why we had to move out of our house, but this is the current problem). I actually had to take four months off work — I'm lucky I work at a company where I even can do that — and I'm still not back to work full time. The kid requires a lot of care, and it has drained all my free time, between caring for him, doing my job, and giving my wife a break.

And free time is the one thing I need to work on this fanfic.

I do think I'm eventually going to get back to it, as the kid improves and life here stabilizes, but I can't put a date on that. I’d hate to set expectations and let readers down even more than I already have.

But it pains my heart to want to finish this story and not be able to. I think about it almost every day.

Still, it’s worth assessing where Undertow is, and what it’ll take to finish it once I can.

Muv-Luv Undertow was always planned as a series of five books. I wrote in that format because I wanted to mimic the light novel format that Schwarzesmarken and Total Eclipse used. I also thought it would be good discipline to have to pay off novel-length plots while spinning the tale of the larger series. I think it's intimidating to see some fic on AO3 that’s like 500,000 words or more. Even though Undertow will probably end up close to that (it’s already at 300K words), being able to see it broken up by book may be more appealing than diving into some big, potentially-unstructured sprawl.

Three books are completely done, at least as first drafts:

Broken Ship — AO3, epub

Jour de Gloire — AO3, epub

If You Tolerate This — AO3, epub

Then we have the in-progress book four:

Join the Parade — A03, epub

And speaking of “progress”, how is this actually going? Well, book four is at 72,964 words across twelve numbered chapters (not counting the front matter that AO3 counts as separate chapters, like the cover image or the epigraph). As I thought I was getting the book rolling again last December, I finally outlined the end of Act II and all of Act III, filling in a lot of gaps I had been putting off making decisions on. Book four has been the least plotted-in-advance story in the series, and that made it harder to write even back when things were moving along. It’s pretty clear that I'm a plotter, not a pantser.

One thing I did in outlining these chapters was to do virtual index cards for key beats — the things that have to happen and the things I want to happen (ideally, the Venn diagram of these should be a circle) — so I could move them around the last few chapters to see how different arrangements worked out, in terms of plot, theme, and feel.

In fact, here’s a PNG of how I ended up breaking Act III… with spoiler protection provided by the Gaussian blur filter in Acorn 7. I let a few cards go through unblurred so you can speculate about what's happening between here and there. It might read a little dull in this format, but I promise you that several things explode before we're done.

So, seven more chapters and a one-scene epilogue get us done with book four.

After that, the story ends in book five. Payoffs for stuff I've been building since the first book, some twists that you won't see coming (oh, but they're coming), and connections back into the main Muv-Luv timeline that’ll show why this story was worth telling in the first place. One thing that’ll help book five is that since so much of it is natural consequences of what’s come before, the plotting should go faster, because everything that happens is now inevitable.

You know, like when you hit Act V in any good tragedy.

One of the themes of book four has been about our protagonist Noah being pulled back to his normal life. Whatever route he chooses, the end of the current book will bring him to the point of no return, and then beyond.

Book five is titled Autumn Closin’ In. I'll save you the trouble of looking up the epigraph; it’s from the song “Night Moves”, because you can’t set a story in the woods of northern Michigan without eventually dropping in a Bob Seger song. Literally. I think Gov. Whitmer signed that into law a few years back.

Ain’t it funny how the night moves, when you just don’t seem to have as much to lose? Strange how the night moves… with autumn closin’ in.

I’ll post here in this Tumblr as things come back together. I also plan to start a Mastodon account (possibly on the anime-themed urusai.social instance, if they’ll have me) to replace the @ml_undertow Twitter account, because Elon has ruined Twitter, and everyone should be migrating off it by now, if you haven’t done so already. As things get closer to starting book five, I’ll also need to commission Hirei to do one more character design and a matching book cover. (Now that we’ve done Noah, Adrienne, Kimmy, and Don, who do you suppose will be on the final cover, and why?)

I don’t know when, but we’ll get there. And it’ll all have been worth it.

Even if it does mean suffering through a three-year Haruka-like coma.

[the-silver-peahen-residence]

||Horror book Chapter 5: Hacker kidnapping part 3||

*Waving* Hi dears, I'm back with another part to horror book chapter 5 so have a bonus that will be part 3. So, lets see what this chapter presents. If you wish to read the others so far, chapter list is down below.

~~Book chapters~~

Horror book one: Bloody game of Hide and seek

Horror book two: Darkness of one self

Horror book three: How to Be Evil: Scared Straight Beyond Prank Part 1

Horror book three: How to be Evil: Scared Straight Beyond Prank part 2

Horror book four: Hunting grounds

Horror book five: Hacker Kidnapping part 1 part 2

((Your reading horror book part 3/Final part))

||Warning||

~Will have disturbing flashbacks from both

~Blood may be mentioned in this

~Scary themes will be also seen as well

~Triggering moments will be present

~Dark themed is will be spoken of in this drabble

~~Drabble Summary~~

It's been a few days after Jellyfish and Mouse was rescued by their factions so all was so-so in New York. However, consequences was the result for the both of them. Now they try to recover but it's something both will never recover from. So after rest, Jellyfish had a visitor. Who could it be? Read to find out?

((Guests in this drabble))

Jellyfish belongs to my rp partner/friend @demon-blood-youths

Mouse belongs to me and a guest visit from BLT a NPC villain from a old thread will be showing up.

((Just a heads up: Grammar is not good and their will be heavy mistakes but this was written for fun so please enjoy. ))

"........"

It's been a few days after the rescue of Jellyfish (Fosh) and Mouse (Serena), the hackers from the DBT and the Cursed Vixens. Though to Fosh and Mouse, it felt like it just happened yesterday. Both were kidnapped, chased down by BLT and almost killed but thank god their fractions found them in time or who knows what would have happened.

Even if both were saved, the damage was already done. Thanks to it, even if Fosh tired to get back into action, he felt like it was too soon. Even after finding out he now suffers from flashbacks when seeing bloody wounds. If he saw just one or noticed it, he would get terrible flashbacks or nightmares if he takes a nap or sleeps. It gotten bad to the point that Ophelia had to give him sleeping medicine even if he would try to refuse or stay up a couple nights.

So, Ink told him he's on break till he's fully recovered but he knew he wouldn't fully recover after that night. Not ever.

Right now, he was on a recovery break after that night but he was looking at some tea that Ophelia made for him. He didn't have many bandages but some was still seen. He was looking ahead while feeling a calm breeze blow against him.

That's when his mind goes to another person. Mouse. He didn't know how she was doing after that day when her team took her home to rest up. Though, he didn't know how she was from this. He would call her but he didn't want to bother her at most. But, he hopes she's alright and resting up. As he was just sitting there looking ahead, a knock was heard to make him jump looking over seeing Ophelia.

"Fosh? Are you awake?" she takes a peek to see him awake but he was looking tired still while setting the tea down so he didn't drop it by mistake.

"..Y..Yeah, I'm awake. Is something w..wrong?" even hearing his tone was a worried sign from how exhausted he was. Ophelia shook her head gently but she looks to him.

"I wanted to check up on you and it seems your still recovering which is good. I was going to ask if you were hungry. Did you want to try eating something?" she asked but Fosh looks down at his lap but remembers the soup Jaron made. He didn't eat it because he was too scared to eat it. She sighed but looks to him.

"......I'm not really hungry right now. I can try to eat later on if that's fine." he said but Ophelia understood but she still would give him space and not push him into doing anything.

"Alright but you have to eat later on or soon. We don't want you to get sick okay?" she saw him nod to look down then she remembers. "Oh, also...you have a guest to see you." she sees him blink to look.

"A...guest?"

"Yes. She wanted to visit you and see how you are holding up. I'll go and get her so one moment." Ophelia goes to do just that as Fosh wonders who it was. In a bit, the door opens up to show Ophelia back and as she said, she had someone with her.

Orange red hair that was in a twist braid today, some knee high jeans with flats on but she looked just as tired. Their was still some bandages on her cheek and arms but he sees her look at him.

"..M..Mouse?"

"..H..Hey Jellyfish. Hope you don't mind a little visit." Mouse or Serena was there with some help with Ophelia. Behind her was Jinx who waves but it shows the Vixens were visit today since Mouse wanted some fresh air and to check on him. She walks in with some help before sitting down by him while the two looks at one another.

"Alright. If you both need anything, please call me or someone. We will come in case you need something." Ophelia said before she saw them nod. She turns to leave the room to let them talk alone with Jinx following her. Both Mouse and Jellyfish said nothing but she looks to relax or tries to.

"........It's good to see your awake and resting up Fosh." He heard Mouse said after a moment, leaning back a little but she still was stiff after a few days back.

"S...same for you too."

"So..how have you been? Have you been resting up?" she asked looking to him as Fosh said nothing but looks down while resting his hands on his lap feeling the blanket he got when he takes a nap.

"You could say that.....even after what happened I'm still a bit..jumpy. B..but I've been okay." He didn't look at her that Mouse looks to him.

".....Are you sure? You sound like you haven't had any sleep..." she said seeing Fosh look more quiet to sigh.

"...No, no I haven't. I've been having really bad nightmares so it's been hard to get some sleep or take a nap. I just can't take one....even after all that. I try to take one I end up...s...seeing..you know." He whispered the last part but Mouse knew even she grips her wrist trying not to remember.

"*Sighs* Thanks to that night, I been more scared that it's affected my sleep and me eating. I can't even keep anything down because I remember what happened and what we saw. Even being near food would or might make me throw it back up." He said remember when Jaron tried to help him eat something he suddenly threw it back up moments after crying. Mouse looks worried but saw Fosh looking ahead but she can see it in his eyes he really was tired.

"You know it's not good if you don't eat......but I understand.." she mutters softly but Fosh shook his head to think.

"But what about you? Have you been recovering?" he asked but it was her turn to be silent.

".......Not really. I'm having trouble sleeping at night myself. I just can't close my eyes and relax even with the peaceful silence. I've gotten a lot more jumpy that I accidentally shock my teammates. I think I even have panic attacks now which is not cool." she rubs her arm but Fosh looks to her hearing that.

She gets panic attacks now? That wasn't good. "Ever since we were saved, I thought I would be alright like it never happened but.." she looks down to feel her hand shaking. "I was so wrong. I can't sleep without seeing 'his' face. His sick smile and remembering him wanting to...do that to us. I can't even hack properly so my team gave me a break in order to be more stable." she remembers freaking out crying that it took a while for her to calm down.

"..Mouse.." he sees her look up but her eyes were hidden but he knew she was trying not to cry.

"..Even if my scars healed, somehow I still feel them stinging like theirs something under my skin. It's scary Fosh and I don't like it. I don't like this feeling..." she looks ahead but touches where she was stabbed by BLT. It showed a very light scaring thanks to her demon blood but she still felt it there.

"It's gotten bad to the point that I would cry or sob in my room or under the shower. Trying to wash his filthy hands off of me but..but they wouldn't come off. He still is....I can even still hear his laughter Fosh..." Fosh got worried but he sees her hands shaking as he saw her looking down. Right away, he reaches to take her hand as she quickly held it.

"Your safe though Mouse. Were both safe..h..he's gone.....I hope he's gone. B..but..were fine now." He said but Mouse looks silent but she only sniffles to breath but he looks to see her now crying. He didn't like when his friends were this upset but he was no better. Both were having lack of sleep, focus, and just trying to recover but that physically scared them.

"E...even so......we can relax now. Were fine Mouse. Were s..s....safe like everyone tells us." He said to assure that it's fine. She was still shaking even with her hands resting on her but he noticed her wrists and arms. It seems they were bandaged up but his eyes widen seeing small patches of.......

"B..b...blood..M..Mouse? D..did...what happened?" he asked in a silent tone.

"H..Huh? O..Oh..It was after I freaked out one time. I was having a panic attack thinking he was there and ended up clawing at my skin to cut my skin. It should be healing soon. I did that this morning...." she said but that's when she felt Fosh shaking. "F..Fosh?" she looks to him but he didn't look up at her.

His eyes were looking at the bandages but that's when flashbacks or images flashed before his eyes of that night, the blood, and BLT. He quickly lets go but held his head trying to breath.

"F..Fosh? Fosh what's wrong? Are you okay?" she asked but she saw him shaking and whispering something.

"N..no...no no no no no no no no no..please god not again. Not again....." Wait, what did he mean? She saw him now shaking but tears were seen that worried Mouse.

"Fosh!? What's wrong??" she said.

"Not again...Not again! I don't want to remember again! I don't want to remember!!" He shuts his eyes gritting his teeth with tears still flowing. He didn't want to remember. He didn't want to remember the teenagers that died that night. He started hearing BLT's laughter in his head to make him open his eyes wide breathing in and out loudly and deeply. He felt sick all of a sudden like he was going to pass out. However, that's when he quickly held his stomach and covers his mouth before vomiting on the floor coughing.

"Fosh!!" She got up to quickly get some water for him as he was crying but right away she got some to help him. "E..Easy Fosh Easy!" she was trying to calm him down but he was shaking holding his head before she heard him muttering.

"Please..Please I don't want to remember..I don't want to. Make it stop..please dear god make it stop..." he gasped shaking but Mouse was worried that she was careful.

"Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop, make it stop! MAKE IT STOP-?!?" That's when she quickly held him not caring if she got something on her. She had to calm Fosh down. He didn't move tensing up but he felt Mouse shaking now. However, she carefully got some paper towels to help clean Fosh up after he got sick on himself a little.

".......M..Mouse?....."

"Shhhhhhhhh...please...please don't talk....It's alright. Were safe now. H..He's gone..." she whispered but the upper part of her face was hidden but he felt tears hitting his face as she was crying remembering. "W..Were safe now....*Hics* W..were....." that's when she begins sobbing as Fosh said nothing else to only slowly hug her back tightly.

Both hackers were now sobbing quietly in the room but even from now, they needed a moment. Even now, the others were worried but they didn't bother. However, Ophelia heard the noise when going to check on them. It broke her heart hearing her friends like this but it hurt Mouse even worse hearing Fosh break down like that. For now, she didn't bother them and goes to get something for later.

~~~2 Hours later~~~

Ophelia came back to check on the two but she gently knocks to wait for them to talk. Jaron was with her but he was worried while Melinda was holding some clean bandages.

"Do you think their alright?" Melinda asked but Jaron said nothing not sure.

"I don't know but I hope so.."

"W..well, we will see." Ophelia heard nothing but goes to knock again. "Fosh? Mouse? Are you both alright in there?" she opens the door slowly but takes a peek but her green eyes widen seeing. Jaron and Melinda blinks wondering what is going on but they take a peek to Melinda letting out a gasp covering her mouth and Jaron's eyes widen.

Both hackers were asleep but Mouse was holding Fosh in her arms but it seems both have been crying. Their was a odd smell but it seems Mouse cleaned up the throw up from before. He and her were twitching in their sleep but they were so tired they couldn't keep their eyes open.

"........"

"........"

"........"

"What happened?" Jaron said but Melinda was still worried.

"M..Mouse must have had a panic attack...and Fosh did too? They seem to have been crying...." she said but Ophelia checks to see. Her eyes looks and noticed some thing.

Their was some things broken near by but spots of blood was seen followed by some of Mouse's bandages being undone a little. The three didn't know what to say but Ophelia goes to check on them. The two didn't even wake up when the three came in. However, soft whimpers came from the two as they were either having nightmares or something worse.

"....Guys.." she was so worried of the two but Mouse and Fosh just remain asleep. Melinda and Jaron was more worried now not expecting this but the two only hope the hackers will get through this. BLT did a lot of damage to the two and he made sure it sticks with them. As many would say, true they will recover but this will stay with them forever.

'Please..please be alright....' Ophelia said in her thoughts like she was going to cry for them but Jaron was worried as Melinda was sad while looking at them.

Serena and Fosh knew from here on out, the memory remains as scars do. Even if they healed, the scar still remains with them.

~~End~~

[tyongxnct]

𝑏𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑡𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢 - 𝑀𝑎𝑟𝑘 𝐿𝑒𝑒

pairing: Mark Lee x reader

special guest: Jaehyun, Johnny, Yuta, Jungwoo, Taeyong, Doyoung, mention of Haechan

summary: Years ago, you were deeply in love with Mark Lee. He’s your first love and you thought he’d be the last. After finding out why he really dated you, he broke up with you and vanished. You were devastated and heartbroken. Now you were at the airport as the maid of honor of your best friend Aera, her wedding’s in Greece and you were flying three days earlier with her, her fiancé Jaehyun and his best man. Little did you know that Mark Lee was Jaehyun’s best man. Feelings you thought you had buried deep inside bloomed again.

song: back to you - Selena Gomez

genre: exes-to-lovers!au, angst, smut, fluff

warnings: smut, alcohol consumption, swearing

word count: 11.7k

A/N: I’m finally done. This is the last fic of my series and I can’t believe that i’m done with this series. This series means so much to me, not only because I love Selena Gomez, but also because of the meaning behind evey story. Thank you for all of your support, thank you for every comment, like, reblog, ask and follow. This is just the beginning. Also thank you for requesting that you want to read a second part to some of my stories, I’ll try to write them in the upcoming month, march. I hope you enjoy. Thanx

taglist: @alex-chann​, @aesthetichrj @bvbyxuxi​​

© tyongxnct on all platforms

Took you like a shot Thought that I could chase you with a cold evening Let a couple years water down how I'm feeling about you And every time we talk Every single word builds up to this moment And I gotta convince myself I don't want it even though I do

“I have BIG news!” Aera squealed as soon as you opened the door for her. She hugged you tightly and started jumping, you jumped with her even though you had no idea why.

“Why are we jumping around?”

“Greece! I’m getting married in Greece!” she yelled happily, “You know that it’s my dream to get married in Greece and my amazing soon-to-be-husband surprised me with it! Oh god, I  can’t believe I’m marrying Jaehyun in fucking GREECE!”

“Holy shit that’s great! But can we stop jumping I might puke.”

You sat down on your couch with Aera, “We need to start planning, the wedding is in 3 weeks. I’ve sent the invitations right before I came here. We booked a hotel with the best view ever and my wonderful maid of honor aka you are flying with me and Jaehyun a two days earlier, you know, to get stuff done and the others come one day before the wedding, your man too, by the way. I can’t wait for my bachelorette party- but remember, I promised Jaehyun no strippers.” Her eyes sparkled as she talked about her wedding and you started thinking about your own future.

Were you ever going to get married? You want to get married, you really do. But what if you never get the chance to? Your boyfriend hated to talk about commitment and marriage, he said living together and dating was enough, but you never felt the same way. You wanted to get married, you want a ring on your finger, and you wanted to call him your husband, not your boyfriend.

Aera left after a while and you were alone, until you heard the door open with a sigh. “I’m home.”

His voice, no, his existence alone triggered you and without knowing you plugged in your earphones. “I said I’m home Y/n. There she fucking goes again, god I’m not going to deal with you tonight.” And without saying anything after that, he left again. Minho, your boyfriend of two and half years, always left you alone. He never bothered to talk to you about the problems in your relationship and after trying and trying, you were sick of it.

Dating him was almost torture but breaking up with him was also difficult. You were so scared of being alone, of not being loved.

Almost three weeks later, you found yourself at the airport with Jaehyun and Aera. Jaehyun looked at his watch every two minutes and he looked really nervous too. “Where the fuck is he?” he mumbled and Aera kicked his leg. “Ouch?” he hissed in pain. “Sorry baby didn’t mean to kick you that hard.”

“What is going on here? Who are we waiting for?” you asked confused. “You didn’t tell her?” Jaehyun asked his fiancée. Aera shook her head.

“W-Well about that- uhm, there’s one thing I have to tell you, but don’t get too mad,” Aera looked at you nervously, “you, uhm… you remember Mark Lee, right? Please forgive me for not telling you, but- fuck, he’s Jaehyun’s best man. He’s coming with us.” Aera closed her eyes, scared of your reaction.

“You are joking right?” your heart pounded against your chest.

“N-No, I really didn’t know that you didn’t know- a-and you know, Mark’s my oldest friend and yeah, and uhm, fuck he’s coming act natural.” Jaehyun looked at his phone and laughed, even though his screen was dark and Aera laughed with him.

“How the fuck am I supposed to act natural?!” you almost yelled bus as soon as you heard Mark’s little hi, your heart stopped beating.

It’s been almost three years since you heard his voice. Every memory played in your mind like a sad movie, the second he asked you to be his girlfriend to the end of your relationship with him, the moment he broke your heart almost made you cry again, but Aera stepped on your foot and you came back to reality.

“Hi.” You said coldly, his last word replaying in your head over and over again.

Aera and Jaehyun watched you and Mark awkwardly and Mark couldn’t find any words to say, except for, “H-hi.”

“Sooo, now that everyone’s here,” Jaehyun handed you your tickets. “Thanks.” Mark mumbled.

You were about to go on board, you didn’t say a word since Mark came and he was busy talking to Aera and Jaehyun. “Y/n, we’ll see you guys when we land alright?”

“What do you mean?” you asked confused, “We sit together? Right?”

“W-Well about that- we are flying first class, we wanted to spoil ourselves a little- please don’t get angry I’m sorry I am so sorry.” Aera whispered and you felt like you could explode any second like a volcano.

“Y-You mean… you’re telling me I have to sit with him for the next couple hours?! All alone?!” you tried to whisper but it was loud enough for Jaehyun and Mark to hear.

“shh! Just, I don’t know, sleep, or watch a movie or maybe just talk to him like a grown up, please do it for me?” she pouted.

“I’m gonna be wasted when we arrive in Greece.” You couldn’t be angry at her. “As long as you don’t kill him.”

Jaehyun and Aera entered the plane first and left you and Mark alone. “So, how have you been?”

The audacity.

“Good.” You mumbled. How long until you could enter that fucking plane?

“Me too, well, I’d say ok-“

“Look, Mark. I’m doing this for our friends, okay? I’m not interested in your life. I don’t want to talk to you unless it’s about the wedding. Did I make myself clear?” maybe you were mean and bitchy, but after everything he had done to you, you didn’t care.

He just nodded and looked down to his feet.

Half an hour later, you were seated on the plane right next to Mark. It’s not your first time flying, but it was Mark’s first time, and he was fucking scared.

“This is captain Lee Taeyong speaking, I’m your pilot for our flight to Mykonos, Greece. My co-pilot for today is Kim Doyoung. Please enjoy your flight.”

After the announcement and the instructions, you were ready to go.

The plane started moving and you could feel Mark tensing up next to you. His grip on the hand rest tightened and his knuckles turned white.

You tried so hard to ignore him, but you couldn’t. You should laugh at him, take pictures of his suffering- but you held his hand and assured it him that it’ll be over.

Mark looked at you and then back at your hands. Your thumb slowly stroked his hand and he stopped thinking about the plane and he could only think about your hand holding his.

You held his hand until you saw the flight attendant walk around.

Mark thanked you but you ignored him.

“Hello, would you like to have some water or coffee?” the flight attendant asked you and Mark.

“Just a water please.” Mark said.

“Do you have something stronger? Wine? Or champagne?”

“Sure ma’am.”

“Alright I’d like to have some champagne.” You smiled and she nodded.

Mark looked at you, eyes a little wide.

Four glasses later, you were a little tipsy.

“I think you had enough-“ Mark tried to stop you from ordering another glass.

“You don’t know anything about me!” you protested.

“Y/n, get some sleep come on-“

“Mind your own business.” You plugged in your Airpods and ignored him. You didn’t want him to interact with you and If you have to stop drinking for him to shut up, you sadly had to.

You closed your eyes and leaned back. You didn’t notice Mark’s eyes on you, watching your pretty features as your chest raised with every breath you took.

Shortly after, you fell asleep.

You could break my heart in two But when it heals, it beats for you I know it's forward but it's true

Three years ago

“It was a game. I won and now it’s over.” Mark said coldly as he looked away.

“What do you mean a game? And what is over? Mark, babe, I don’t understand.” Maybe you knew, maybe you tried to hide the fact that you saw it coming. Your relationship was too good to be true.

“I told my friends that I could fuck you within a year, and I did. We’ve been dating for ten months. I won. I can’t believe I waited ten months to fuck you.” He said casually.

“What?”

“Are you deaf? I fucked you and I got a lot of cash in exchange. Now we’re over. As simple as that.”

“You’re joking? Right? You love me, Mark. We love each other. It’s not funny.” Your voice broke.

“I’m not fucking joking,” he showed you the money he got, “Now, please get the fuck out of my apartment. Oh, and take your toothbrush with you.”

You were crying and that annoyed him. “Why are you fucking crying?!”

“M-Mark please don’t do this- I love you. I have never loved anyone like I love you. P-Please tell me you’re lying.” You sobbed.

“You know what, I’m leaving. Leave before I come back.”

Mark didn’t want to leave, but watching you cry and sob hurt him, he would never admit that to you but deep down, he felt something for you. Mark thought ending things with you was better than walking on eggshells. It was a matter of time until you would find out. He didn’t want to risk you finding out from someone else. The least he could do was tell you, face to face.

You loved him, you really loved him so much. He was a perfect boyfriend. There was not a single day you doubt him or your relationship. It hurt, you first ever heartbreak and you didn’t know how to handle the pain.

I wanna hold you when I'm not supposed to When I'm lying close to someone else You're stuck in my head and I can't get you out of it If I could do it all again I know I'd go back to you I know I'd go back to you I know I'd go back to you

After your breakup with Mark, you felt your life slowly falling apart. You were barely present in class and you stopped interacting with your friends. You drowned in self-pity and you fell deeper and deeper. Only Aera was there for you. After so many years of friendship, she always got your back.

“Is the pain ever going to stop?” you asked her between sobs.

“Honey, it’ll take a while, but I promise you, it’ll stop.”

Aera and Jaehyun were dating since first year of college and he told you that he had no idea about his oldest friend’s plan. Jaehyun was happy to see his friend happy- because was happy whenever he was with you. You went on double dates and spent so much time together, Jaehyun really thought that you and Mark were going to end up together.

“I swear I didn’t know. His other friends- that Haechan guy and the others were with him. He never told me because he know that we’re friends.”

“It’s okay, Jae. You’re not as childish as they’re. Don’t worry about it. I’m fine.”

And Jaehyun and Aera never left your side until college was over. During your time thinking about life and finishing college, you met Minho, your current boyfriend. You started dating and you thought he’d help you get over Mark, but he only made you feel worse.

He was a fuckboy, he fucked anyone with tits, and even though you knew it, you still agreed to date him.

Multiple fights and breakups followed, and you always end up at Aera’s or Minho would leave for a couple days.

Whenever you were lonely, and it was the case most of time, you thought about Mark. You missed him, his lips, his touches, the way he laughed and his silly jokes. You missed the way he said I love you and how warm and loved you felt with him.

No matter how hard Mark hurt you, you didn’t regret falling in love with him. You’d do it again and again.

We never got it right Playing and replaying old conversations Overthinking every word and I hate it 'Cause it's not me And what's the point in hiding Everybody knows we got unfinished business And I'll regret it if I didn't say this isn't what it could be

Two days until the wedding

Mark shook you softly and tried to wake you up. “Hey, Y/n. We’re here. Wake up.”

“Just a little longer Markie.” You mumbled in your sleep as you held his hand. When you landed, Mark got scared again and just held your hand without asking you. You were asleep after all.

Mark’s heart was about to explode. He blushed at the nickname. You used to call him Markie every time you were sleepy or acting like a baby to get his attention.

And every fucking time he fell for it and his heart softened. “Okay baby.” This time Mark stroked your hand with his thumb.

About three minutes later, the flight attendant came to wake her. “Sir, ma’am. You need to leave the plane. We landed almost ten minutes ago.”

You slowly woke up and stretched your arms. “What? Oh, sorry.” You stood up, a little too fast. Everything was spinning, Mark held your waist and you fell on his lap.

“Are you sure we landed? Everything’s spinning around.” You held your head, not noticing that you were on Mark’s lap. “Y/n, uhm, could you stand up? But do it slowly this time!” he still held your waist. “What? Oh, shit, sorry.” You stood up, a little slower this time.

“Y/n! Mark! What took you so long? What the hell?” Aera looked strictly but as she saw Mark’s arm around your waist she softened. “S-she’s a little tipsy.” Mark said, cheeks red.

“Of course, she is.”

“Am not! Oh my god, the weather is so good!” your eyes were slightly open but as soon as you saw the sea and the beautiful architecture your smiled brightly. You pushed Mark’s arm off and started unbuttoning your shirt.

Mark’s eyes widened, and Jaehyun turned around, he didn’t want to watch you take off your clothes. Aera’s mouth fell open and Mark kept on watching you. Your tank top under your shirt rose a little and Mark’s eyes travelled to your soft skin. You put your shirt in your handbag and took out your sunglasses.

Mark’s eyes never left your body, his eyes going up to your breasts. He needs to get away from you or he’ll lose his mind.

“You can turn back baby, she’s wearing something underneath.”

“J-Jaehyun maybe we should… you know.” Mark locked eyes with Jaehyun.

“What you mean Mark?” Jaehyun asked cluelessly.

“A car, you know, for the hotel.”

“Oh yeah right. Ladies, don’t move away, we’ll go rent a car.” Jaehyun kissed Aera and then they left.

“I’m going to kill him.” You breathed out after Mark left. “You won’t.” Aera posed next to you as you took selfies together. “I will. I hate him. He acts like nothing happened, like, like he never broke my heart. As if we’re old friends or shit like that.”

“He acts totally shy around you. I think you intimidate him. Did you see how he watched you when you took off your shirt? That idiot was and is so into you.” Aera always thought that Mark loved you, no matter what he did. You don’t date someone for months just for 50 bucks. “He’s a man. As soon as they see tits, they’re on their knees.” You laughed.

“Well, maybe you should let him kneel for you a little longer. I guess he’s into that.” She giggled.

“I can’t believe that you just said that.” You closed your eyes. “Well, Jaehyun’s into that.”

“Jaehyun’s into what?” Jaehyun asked as he heard his name. “Into me of course.”

“That’s why I’m marrying you.” He pulled her in for a kiss- a very steamy and hot kiss. “Hello? Keep it PG-13 please.” You looked at them with disgust in your eyes. Mark awkwardly coughed next to you. “The car is ready.”

You were in the backseat with Mark, he was a little close for your liking. “Your leg is touching mine.” You said. “And?” he asked.

“I don’t like it.”

“Sounds like a you problem.” He said back. “Excuse me?” you said in disbelief.

Jaehyun and Aera locked eyes for a second.

Aera turned the radio louder and it was your song.

“Y/n! Isn’t that your favorite song?!” she yelled through the music. Mark glanced at you. He remembered the song. You had your first kiss with Mark, and that song was playing in the background. You were in his car, just like right now, in the backseat.

“No. It’s not.” You said as you looked out.

“What? But it’s in your Spotify playlist. What was it called? Fav songs? Best songs? His songs? My songs?” she kept on asking and you couldn’t take it anymore. “’Our songs’ but I deleted that because that playlist was stupid. Now, please. Change that songs.”

Mark smiled to himself. You still had the playlist called our songs? Mark and you created that playlist when you were dating and you always listened to it, over thousand times and it never got boring.

“Fine.” She sighed. “No! Don’t change that song. I-it is my favorite song.” Mark said and you looked at him with furrowed brows.

“Okay.”

“Change it.” You demanded.

“Don’t.” Mark was looking at you too. “Aera, change the song.” You said through gritted teeth.

“Aera I’ll jump out of the car If you change it.” Mark threatened.

“He won, Y/n, sorry. He threatened with his life.”

You didn’t say anything because the song changed. You looked back to your phone, ignoring Mark.

“We’re here.” Jaehyun parked the car and you mouth fell open. The hotel looked stunning. “Holy shit. This place is fucking gorgeous.” Aera said happily. “Only the best for my fiancée.” Jaehyun was fucking cheesy but Aera loved it.

The hotel was not exactly like a hotel. It was more like little white house’s next to each other with a pool and a perfect view. The house was bigger than you thought, many guest rooms, a big room for the couple and a very big room for you and Mark, at the end of the hallway, far away from Jaehyun and Aera’s room.

“If you excuse us for a while, we have things to discuss in our room,” Jaehyun said as he winked at Aera. “But we’ll get dinner together. Don’t go too far, stay in your rooms or go swimming we don’t really care just leave us alone for an hour-“ Aera kicked his leg again. “or three.”

After unpacking your stuff, you decided to go to the pool. You changed to your black two-piece swimsuit and left your room and at the same time Mark opened his door and left his room. He was in his swim trunks and he stopped his movements as soon as he saw you leaving your room.

Mark tried to hide his gaze on your body, but he was quite obvious. “Stop staring.”

“I-I’m not staring.” He looked away.

“Sure.” You made your way outside, to the pool. It was extremely hot, you put your towel on the beach chair next to the pool and sat down, ready to put on some sunscreen. Mark entered the porch and looked at you. You put sunscreen on your legs and didn’t break the eye contact.

You wanted to tease him, provoke him so you put on a show. You slowly pulled the straps of your swimsuit down and slowly put the sunscreen on your neck and shoulders until you reached the upper part of your breasts. You didn’t need to look at Mark, you felt his eyes on your as he put his stuff down next to you.

“Mark?”

“Y-Yes?” he stuttered, his focus on your breasts.

“Could you help me? I can’t reach my back.” You said innocently.

Mark gulped, “Y-yeah I can, uhm, I can do that for you.”

Mark wasn’t the only one watching. You watched him too. You watched him take off his shirt and you couldn’t look away. He looked hot, hotter than before. Did he start working out? He caught you watching him and smirked at you. You threw the sunscreen to him and turned around. You untied the bikini bra but held it against your breasts.

He squeezed a little on his hand and slowly put it on your lower back, slowly massaging it into your skin. You didn’t know If his hands were cold or If the sunscreen was cold, but after he touched you, your entire body shivered. You got goosebumps, you even felt your nipples harden.

“Yes Mark, just like that.” You teased him again.

“Feels good?”

“Mhm…” you moaned.

His face was close to yours, you could feel his breathe against your neck. His hands slowly travelled down, slightly about your ass. “Hands up, Mark.” You pushed his hands up again, you wouldn’t let him touch your ass.

You leaned back, your head was resting on Mark’s shoulder. You were sitting between his legs and you grabbed his thigh after he put a little bit pressure on your back. You weren’t going to lie- it really felt good. Your muscles relaxed, you closed your eyes and just let him touch you.

“You want me to go harder?” he whispered in your ear. “Yes, please go harder on me.” And he did. You squeezed his thigh, your hand travelled higher and higher, “Fuck.” He mumbled under his breath and when you stopped, you moved forwards. “That’s enough.”

You tied your bikini bra back up and turned to him. He quickly tried to hide his bulge with a towel. “Are you perhaps turned-on Mark?” you mocked him.

“Your nipples are hard. I guess you are turned-on.”

He was right. You were turned on and your nipples were hard. “No, I’m not. Why would that turn me on? My nipples are hard b-because it’s cold. And stop looking you pervert!” you crossed your arms in front of you and made your way to the pool.

“Cold my ass.” He mumbled.

You slowly entered the pool, step by step. The temperature was good, you hoped your nipples would calm down. You watched Mark enter the pool, he was on the other side looking at you.

“This is my side and that is yours. Stay on your side and don’t bother me.” You told him strictly. Mark nodded and watched you. You just stared at each other and then Mark dove into the water. He swam towards you and when he got out, he was right in front of you, face, and hair wet. Chest rising and falling, eyes on you. Mark was really close, like, really close. You could feel the bulge against your thigh.

“What are you doing?” you asked.

“Swimming.” He caged you in his arms and pushed your body softly against the wall. He looked at you and the beautiful view of Greece and the ocean he had.

“Swim on your side of the pool.” He was annoying you so much.

“I have a better view from here.” Mark said as he looked you in the eyes. “Fine, you can stay here-“

“Don’t go.” He whispered. “Why? I’m blocking your view.”

“You are the view.”

You didn’t say anything back- you couldn’t. Your heart was beating against your chest, breathing got difficult and you couldn’t calm down. He was so close, you were about to lose your mind.

Mark wasn’t doing any better. You looked ethereal. You looked as beautiful as the first time he had met you. You were even prettier and the way you were so cold to him was kind of hot. Mark thought that his feelings for you died but seeing you after such a long time only made him realize, that his feelings for you got even stronger.

He always asked Jaehyun about you, but Jaehyun punched him and told him to fuck off because he had hurt his girlfriends’ best friend and his own friend, too. In Jaehyun’s eyes, Mark was a great friend, and he would trust him with his life, but after what he had done to you, Mark lost the right to know about your life. Still, Mark tried to find out If you were feeling any better after the breakup. If you were happy without him in your life, but he always failed and reaching out to you would be the worst thing he could do to you.

Mark’s hands were on your waist. He pushed his body against yours and he knew how nervous you were, but two can play this game.

Your hand was on his toned stomach, caressing it softly and then going down. You never broke eye contact and when your hand landed on his crotch, softly squeezing his bulge, he let out a moan. You were bold, you kept on playing with his bulge and Mark’s lips were attacking your neck. He placed soft kisses and started sucking.

“Fuck, Y/n. It feels so good. Please don’t stop.” He moaned as he squeezed your waist slightly. Before you could realize what exactly was happening, your phone rang.

“Ignore it.” Mark mumbled, his lips leaving your skin for a second.

“Mark- no.”

“Please… I’m so close.” He kissed your neck up to your jaw. You wanted to keep doing whatever the fuck you were doing with fucking Mark Lee, but your phone never stopped ringing. “You’re close?”

“Yes baby, so close.”

And you stopped your hand movements immediately. “W-What no please-“ he begged but you pushed him away. “You’re a big boy, right? You don’t need me.” You stepped out of the pool and wrapped the towel around yourself. Mark was painfully hard, and he was about to cum.

You took your phone and looked at the messages you just got. Minho texted you and you realized that you just gave Mark a handjob, even though he didn’t cum, and you totally forgot about Minho’s existence. Not that Minho always had you on his mind.

“You have got to be kidding me.” You said.

Mark looked at you curiously.

You called Minho immediately, not caring If you lost so much money since you called someone abroad.

“What the fuck does that mean?!” you asked angrily.

“I’m busy- I can’t attend the wedding.”

“Busy my ass, fuck you. This is my best friend’s wedding, the least you could do is to come to the wedding and stay next to your fucking girlfriend.” You were so angry, you didn’t care about anything.

Mark didn’t want to listen to your private conversation- and he had to jerk off- but after hearing the word girlfriend, he stopped in his tracks and listened.

“I have so much work and it’s just a wedding- I’ll make it up to you.” Minho said but you were distracted by the voices and music. “A-Are you at the club? You promised you’d never do that again?!”

“I’m with some colleagues-“ he lied.

“It’s fine. I don’t have time for this right now.” You hung up without listening to him any further. You were exhausted, so fucking exhausted. You turned to your left and saw Mark watching you. “Who was that?” he asked.

“None of your business.” You were cold to him again. Mark was about to say something, but you left without giving him the chance.

The only thing on your mind right now was Mark’s lips on your body. You took a hot shower and changed into a pretty sundress, perfect for the hot weather.

Mark was under the shower, after he jerked off, you still didn’t leave his mind. All he could think about was you and the person to whom you were talking.

After an hour, Aera told you to get ready- you were all going out for dinner. You all got ready and left the house. You were in the backseat with Mark again, not exchanging a word with the three, you were in your own world.

When you felt Mark’s hand on your thigh you turned your head to him. “Huh?”

“Burgers? What do you say?” he asked softly and pulled his hand back. “Sure.” You just wanted to drink, you didn’t care about food.

Jaehyun parked next to a restaurant and when you entered, you were all shocked. It was a beautiful restaurant with a terrace and a pretty view. Aera was next to you, Jaehyun across from her and Mark right across from you.

It felt like back then when you were going on actual double dates. “I think I have a déjà vu?” Jaehyun laughed awkwardly. “Ouch!” Mark yelped. “Sorry Mark, I wanted to kick Jaehyun.” Aera said. “Why would you want to kick me?” he asked his girlfriend. “Babe, shut up.” It was so awkward.

Mark looked at you, he knew exactly what Jaehyun was talking about. “Do you guys remember when the waiter pushed Jaehyun’s head into the cake?” Mark laughed at the memory the four of your shared. You didn’t say anything, but the others laughed. “Oh my god that was hilarious. He tasted so delicious.” Aera winked at him. “Okay, well, uhm, I wasn’t talking about that.” Mark scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

“My baby likes it when her fiancée tastes like strawberries.” Jaehyun smirked at Aera.

“This is absolutely not something we want to hear, Jesus.” Mark said disgusted.

After finishing dinner, you walked on the beach together. “Hey, babe, what’s on your mind?” Aera pulled you back to talk to you. She knew something was up.

“I just- Minho isn’t coming and I’m not sad about it. Why am I not sad about it?” you asked her. “Thanks god- I mean, I think your brain started working finally. Do you even see a future with him?” she asked you. “No, I don’t b-but I’ll never have future with anyone- I guess I’m just not worth-“

“If you dare to finish that sentence, I’ll push you into the water.” Aera threatened you. “Listen, I know when you are happy, and there was not a single time you were happy in that relationship, not like you were with that dumbass-“ she pointed at Mark, “The last time I saw you truly happy was with him, and I’m not saying go get Mark, I’m saying that Minho isn’t worth it. You are too good for him and there’s someone who loves you so much and who deserved your love and attention. Not that looser.”

And your eyes never left Mark’s back.

Something inside you switched, you don’t need a man next to you to be happy, well definitely not a man like Minho- he wasn’t even a man. After all the tears and fights you finally opened your eyes, and you knew that you deserve better.

“Fuck this shit I’m breaking up with that piece of shit.” And you really did. Aera held your hand as you dialed his number and called him.

“Y/n? It’s fucking 4 am.” Minho said. “Babe-“ you heard in the background, but you didn’t fucking care.

“You know what, I don’t even fucking care. Do whatever you want- thanks god you aren’t coming. I don’t have to make memories with an asshole like you. Go back to your slut. I’ll get my stuff when I’m back. I’m done with you” And you hung up.

You felt better than ever before.

You didn’t feel like crying- you were happy, you wanted to make great memories with your best friend and after so many years, you finally broke up with Minho. You felt free and when you looked to your left, to the stunning view you had, you just smiled.

“I’m so proud of you. You know, there are a couple single friends of Jaehyun coming to the wedding, maybe you’ll get some dick.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “Jaehyun’s friends? Are we really sure about that?” you joked, looking at Mark again.

“You are right.”

Meanwhile, Mark and Jaehyun were talking about you.

“Dude, she was talking about someone not attending the wedding and like, she said girlfriend or something, I don’t know- is she… is Y/n dating someone?” Mark asked, he was scared of the answer. He had hope to get you back, but when you were someone else’s, he couldn’t do anything.

“Yeah, Minho. Such a piece of shit, like, he’s worse than you-“

“Hey!”

“Sorry, but like, what you did was an asshole move but he’s like constantly an asshole, I think that’s worse than being a dick just once. He cheats and yells and is so fucking disrespectful, if it weren’t for Y/n I’d kill him and I can’t believe that he’s coming to my wedding, god.”

Mark was shocked, you’re really dating someone like him?

“Why isn’t she leaving him?” he asked Jaehyun. “I don’t really know, they started dating right after you left, maybe she tried to move on with him.”

Mark knew he had hurt you really bad, but you tried to move on that soon? Why did you touch him like that when you have a boyfriend? Why did you let him kiss your neck and be so close?

“Let’s go to the club!” you yelled happily, and Mark turned to you. “Club?” he asked.

“Yes, the fucking club, I want to get wasted!” you sang happily.

And the next stop was a club. After a couple shots (Jaehyun didn’t drink anything except for water, he’s the driver), you and Aera danced on the dancefloor happily together. You felt so alive and excited, you jumped around and Mark couldn’t keep his eyes away from you.

The way your dress slightly rose and exposed your beautiful legs. He hoped nobody else was looking at you like he did.

“You’re staring.” Jaehyun said.

“Am not.”

“You’re so fucking obvious, it physically hurts me to see you like this.” Jaehyun patted Mark’s back.

“Do you think she still hates me?” Mark asked. “Well, I would.”

“That’s not helpful.” Mark gulped down another shot. “Alright, I’m sorry. She’s like, pissed, but I don’t think she hates you.”

“Baby! Dance with me!” Aera pulled Jaehyun to the dance floor and he didn’t resist. He had to show everyone that Aera was his girl, his fiancée. Dancing slowly turned into a make out session and not even five minutes later, they left the dancefloor and entered the restroom.

After dancing for so long, you returned back to your table. “What are you doing here all alone?” you asked Mark.

“Drinking.” He drank shot after shot. “Share with me.” You sat down next to him, really close. Your thighs touching and his gaze on your legs made you smirk.

“Let’s play a game. We’ll ask questions and If we don’t want to answer, we take a shot. Okay?”

You nodded, that could get really interesting. You ordered a whole vodka bottle and started the game.

“Ladies first.”

“What a gentleman. Well, okay, I got a question. Did you get to cum today?” you asked boldly. “I did.” He smirked at you.

“Okay, uhm, were you turned on?”

You took a shot, yes you were so turned on, but you wouldn’t say that out loud.

Mark looked you in the eyes, “Do I look hot?”

“So fucking hot.” Mark said without thinking.

“Do you want me to touch you?” he asked now, you took a shot, which was a pretty obvious answer to him. He put his hand on your thigh. He squeezed slightly. “I never said yes.” You said. “You also never said no. Do you want me to stop touching you?”

“It’s not your turn.” Which meant that you didn’t want him to stop touching you.

After a couple shots, Mark finally asked you the question he was dying to ask.

“Did you miss me?” his face was serious, and he looked you the deep in the eyes. Whenever Mark asked you a question to which you couldn’t say no, you took a shot, just like you did at this question. Mark knew that you had missed him.

“I missed you. So much.” He came closer, nose brushing yours. Mark pressed his lips on the corner of your lips. He slightly pulled back and you looked at you, you weren’t stopping him, so he continued.

The next kiss landed on the tip of your nose and then on the other corner of your lips. Mark squeezed your thigh with a little bit more pressure as he finally placed his lips on yours. Mark kissed you slowly and without realizing it, you kissed him back. You shut your eyes and let him kiss you. He kissed you with so much passion, so much longing and you cupped his cheeks to pull him closer.

His right hand held you by your waist and squeezed it, you gasped, and he put his hot muscle in your mouth. His tongue was playing with yours, he sucked on your lower lip and you could feel yourself getting wetter with every touch and every kiss. You forgot that you were in public, everyone could watch your heavy make-out session with Mark.

“M-Mark-“ you moaned.

“Mhmm…” he didn’t want to stop-

“Mark- there are people around -fuck- us-“ when he started kissing your neck, you lost it.

“Don’t care.” And he kept kissing your skin. “I can’t get enough of you.” He smirked as he left a mark on your skin.

You opened your eyes and saw Jaehyun and Aera coming. You pushed Mark away and acted like you didn’t just have the best kiss of your life.

“We’re done,” Aera giggled, “We should go back, it’s late and we should get sober until tomorrow night. I want to remember my bachelorette party.”

You just nodded, grabbed your purse, and left the club with the others coming after you.

The car ride was awkward. Mark wanted to hold your hand, but you tried to leave as much space as possible between you. Your head was spinning, you wanted him but the voice in your head told you to back off.

Mark was silent the whole ride back and after you left, he could finally breath again.

“The others are coming tomorrow, I trust my best man to take care of them.” Jaehyun and Mark talked on the way back to the house and you tried to ignore the fact that Mark was really walking right next to you.

“Of course, dude. You’re bachelor party is going to be crazy, by the way.” Mark planed something big for Jaehyun.

“No strippers.” Jaehyun warned.

“No strippers for you.” Mark teased even though he was suddenly not interested in seeing women, except for you. You were on his mind and you just didn’t want to leave.

That kind of hurt you.

You accidently locked eyes with Mark, and he wanted to punch himself. “I- I mean I don’t want them either- you know? I swear I didn’t book any strippers.” Mark tried to save himself, but you just rolled your eyes.

“We’re going to have strippers though, Aera.”

“What? Aera, babe, I thought we said no strippers.” Jaehyun pouted.

“I told her! Y/n No strippers!” Aera panicked.

“No strippers for you.” You mocked Mark and he glared at you.

“No strippers and that’s final.” Jaehyun said strictly like a dad, pointing his finger at me.

“I was just joking- don’t worry. No strippers. Promise.”

You could break my heart in two But when it heals, it beats for you I know it's forward but it's true

The next day was hectic. Family members and friends finally arrived and you, as the maid of honor, tried your best to be there for them and for Aera. Mark on the other hand just hung out with Jaehyun. The wedding is tomorrow and the bachelor parties are tonight. Aera was a little stressed, even with your help. She was talking with the catering company and you could see how exhausted she was.

“Aera, go take a long relaxing bath, I got this. I have your list and all of the information. Let me manage this, you need to relax and enjoy this. I don’t want you to stress.” You told her.

“You’re right, I trust you with this.”

You did everything you had to do. You were done with the check list and when you were about to go to your room to take a quick nap, a voice interrupted you.

“So, Y/n. Did you get hotter? Or is it just the weather in Greece?”

You turned around and faced Johnny Suh. A close friend of Jaehyun and he was always flirting with you, even when you dated Mark, but it was harmless. He was always nice and kind and you flirted back, just for fun of course and well, you liked making Mark jealous.

“Oh look at you! Long time no see.” You hugged him and the other boys trailing after him. Mark leading the boys and watching you and Johnny flirt right in front of him.

You hugged the others, and they didn’t know how to act, since Mark was glaring at them, which you didn’t notice.

“So Y/n, do you need any help?”  Johnny said, winking at you.

“I’m actually done with everything, I was about to take a nap.”

“A nap? Come on, we’re in Greece. Let’s go to the beach.” Johnny suggested and everyone agreed with him, even Mark.

You thought about it for a second. Going to beach sound perfect, who knows If you ever come to Greece again.

“Alright, I’ll go get my stuff and change.”

You changed to your bikini and a sundress. You packed your back, a couple towels, sunscreen, and your sunglasses. The boys were already waiting for you. Jungwoo, Mark, Johnny and Yuta were the only ones who wanted to go to the beach. Jaehyun was napping and the others wanted to go to the city.

You were sitting between Jungwoo and Mark. Johnny was driving and Yuta took the passenger seat. You pressed your legs together, you didn’t want to touch Mark’s legs. After everything that happened last night, you were scared and you didn’t know what to do. Mark wasn’t doing any better. It was so awkward and if he could, he would kiss you again.

Not even 15 minutes later, you arrived at the beach and it was such a beautiful view.

“Wow, it’s so beautiful.” You said with wide eyes.

“Not as beautiful as you are.” Johnny flirted and you softly hit him on the shoulder, “Shut up.”

Mark tried to ignore Johnny’s flirty behavior, but it was so hard, even back when you and Mark were still dating, he hated it whenever Johnny flirted like that with you. He didn’t even know why, he shouldn’t have cared, he was only dating you for the money, right? But now it was different. Now he cared even more, he wanted you and it drove him crazy that you ignored him all day.

When you settled down right in front of the beach, Yuta and Jungwoo dropped everything and ran straight into the water.

“They didn’t put any sunscreen on.” Johnny mumbled, “Can you help me put some on Y/n?” he asked you.

“Sure.”

Once again, Mark wanted to punch his friend.

The way you put sunscreen on Johnny’s back was quick, you wanted to annoy Mark, you didn’t want him to think that you were really interested in Johnny. Johnny thanked you and asked you if you need help too and when you nodded, Mark remembered when he put sunscreen on your back yesterday.

Mark smirked at the memory, you’re so beautiful and your moans were so pretty and-

Mark’s thoughts were interrupted by you.

“Johnny, you are so strong, it feels so good.”

How could you say that, Mark thought.

“Y/n are you still with that piece of shit?” Johnny asked you as he massaged your back. “No I broke up with him.”

“So you’re single right?”

“Fuck- Yes, single.” You closed your eyes and enjoyed the massage you were getting.

“Hyung, I think Yuta is calling your name.” Mark interrupted.

“I can’t hear anything?” you mumbled.

“For real, he called your name just a second ago, maybe you should go look after him.”

Johnny’s plan worked. Johnny could hear the jealousy in Mark’s voice. Johnny wasn’t really interested in you, yeah you were pretty and you have a great personality, but you were still Mark’s ex-girlfriend and Johnny knew that Mark still liked you, even though he never admitted that.

“Alright, maybe Mark can continue?” Johnny asked you.

“I don’t know… Mark’s not as strong as you are.” You teased.

“I am strong, did you forget about yesterday-“

“Okayyyy.” Johnny laughed awkwardly and left you two.

Mark placed his hands on your back, he softly massaged you. You were laying on your stomach and Mark slowly untangled your bikini straps.

“How is this?” he asked you as he put a little pressure on your back.

“G-Good, so good.”

“You like making me jealous huh?” his hand travelled down but he stopped right before your butt.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You said innocently even though you knew exactly what he was talking about.

“Oh baby, you do. You know what I’m talking about,” he put a little bit of pressure on your neck, “I really want to spank you for behaving like a brat.”

“Do it.”

“Don’t play with me.” Mark bend forward and pressed his lips on your bare shoulder. He left wet kisses on your skin and you closed your eyes and let him.

You missed him. You missed Mark so much. You wanted him and he wanted you, but there was still something holding you back.

You got interrupted by the ringing of your phone.

Mark pulled back and when you tried to stand up to reach for your phone, you forgot that your bikini was loose.

“Oh shit-“ you laid back and Mark giggled. He tied your straps back together and you finally answered your phone.

“Hi Aera, yeah we’re at the beach. Everything is done, don’t worry I took care of everything. Yeah be ready at 9 I’m not telling you what I’ve planned. The dress code is red and short. No Jaehyun won’t get jealous because he won’t get to see you until the wedding. Oh, I’m- I’m with Mark right now- would you shut up we’re not-“ you glanced at Mark who was already looking at you, “I’m hanging up now.”

Aera teased you with Mark, she asked you why you were alone with him and if you were doing dirty things with him.

“I’m going to the boys, are you coming?” you asked him softly.

Mark just nodded and trailed after you.

I wanna hold you when I'm not supposed to When I'm lying close to someone else You're stuck in my head and I can't get you out of it If I could do it all again I know I'd go back to you I know I'd go back to you

After your fun beach day, you got ready for the bachelorette party. Aera’s three other friends were also coming and knew about your plan. You booked a limousine and a VIP place in a club, it wasn’t much, but Aera liked it the traditional way.

After changing to a short red dress with thin straps, you put on makeup and you were ready to go. The others were also ready and Aera tried to hide herself.

“Jaehyun can’t see me like this- he’d rip this dress off me, then he would fuck me and then he would burn it.”

“Calm down, Johnny told me that they already left.” You assured her.

“Fine. Fuck I look so hot.” Aera opened her front camera once again and looked at herself.

“Yes you do and now let’s get wasted!!” one of her other friends said.

Driving in a limousine was fun, Aera popped the champagne bottle carefully and after driving around the city for 3 hours and having fun in the limousine, you arrived at the club.

You entered the VIP lounge and the night started perfectly. Everyone was having fun, dancing, and drinking.

Aera secretly texted Jaehyun that she missed him and loved him. She also left for about five minutes just to talk to him in the restroom.

“Where the hell were you?” you asked her.

“I was talking to Jaehyun I’m sorry I’ll turn my phone off now.”

And she did, of course after she texted Jaehyun that she was turning her phone off, she didn’t want him to worry and also have fun.

After that, Aera drank and danced like there was no tomorrow.

You were also having the time of your life, it’s been so long since you danced freely in a club. No, it’s been so long since you had fun at all. When you were with Minho, you never had any fun. It was always about him, his pleasure, his feelings, everything about him. All you could think about was Mark when you were with Minho. No matter how much Mark hurt you, when he was your boyfriend, he was always perfect. He valued you more than Minho ever did. You shouldn’t be thinking about Mark when you were lying next to someone else, but you couldn’t help it.

“Y/n?”

You turned around and your eyes met Mark’s.

“M-Mark? Are you real? Or am I dreaming?” you giggled, you were tipsy.

“I’m real,” he stroked your cheek, “This island is so small, we ended up at the same club.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck and he put his hands on your waist. “I was thinking about you the whole day.” you admitted, you were drunk and drunk you always said the truth.

“Me too. Couldn’t get you out of my head.”

“Are you drunk?” you asked.

“No, but I’m still telling you the truth. I missed you.”

“I miss-“

“Y/n! Jaehyun is here and he can’t see Aera, it’s almost midnight! It’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding!” Aera’s friend giggled, “and she’s so fucking drunk and I’m so drunk too,” she giggled again.

You sobered up quickly, thanks god you didn’t drink much, there has to be someone sober enough to take care of everyone and you could never forgive yourself if anything happens before the wedding.

“I’ll take her back to the hotel, you guys can stay and have more fun.” You told her and she thanked you and told you to call if anything happens.

Mark followed you, he helped you carry Aera to the taxi.

“I’ll come with you.” Mark said.

“Don’t worry about us. I can take care of us, go have fun with the boys.” You smiled softly.

“No I want to be with you- I mean, I was bored anyway, and tomorrow is the big day, I should have some… sleep.” He scratched the back of his head nervously.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

When you arrived at the hotel, Mark helped you carry Aera to your room. She was going to stay with you for tonight, Jaehyun shouldn’t see her before the wedding.

“Sleep tight, tomorrow is going to be your big day.” you said as you tugged her in.

You turned to Mark with a small smile on your face, “Thank you. For helping me with her.”

“Of course. Uhm, do you, only if you want to of course, do you want to drink something with me? In m-my room if that’s okay for you. I mean it’s still early and I’m not really sleepy, you know.” Mark rambled.

“Yeah, sure.” You said shyly.

Mark opened the door and you entered his room. His room was clean and had a perfect view. Even at night, the view was beautiful. The lights in the dark, the moon shining brightly, it looked mesmerizing.

You stood in front of his window and Mark watched you with a smile on his lips to you, the view was everything but to Mark, you were everything. You looked absolutely beautiful to him.

Mark took a couple steps and was now right behind you. He wrapped his arms around you and put his head on your shoulder. You intertwined your fingers with his and pulled him closer to you.

“It’s beautiful.”

“You are beautiful.” He whispered softly against your ear.

You turned around, his arms still around you and his face so close to yours.

“I couldn’t tell you this in the club so I’m going to say it now,” you whispered against his lips, “I missed you too, Mark. I missed you so much.”

And without thinking twice, you both leaned in and kissed.

You closed your eyes immediately and you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him even closer, he did the same, he pulled you closer by your waist and pressed you against the window.

He kissed you gently and slowly, your heart pounded against your chest and Mark’s heart was racing, too. As if time stopped right there, as if they were never apart. Mark’s right hand was on your jaw, softly pushing your head up to get better access to your mouth, you let out a soft moan, Mark used the opportunity to meet your tongue.

The kiss was perfect, slow but still so passionate.

Mark pulled back, you were breathing heavily and heat rose from your stomach to your chest, a feeling you couldn’t really describe.

He left wet kisses on your cheek, down to your jaw and then your neck. You tilt your head back, Mark sucked on your soft skin as your hands tangled in his hair, lightly pulling.

You could feel yourself getting wetter and wetter, you just wanted to take off this dress and let Mark fuck you.

“D-Do you want this?” he asked you.

“Yes-“ you whimpered as he sucked on your sensitive spot.

Mark pulled you to his bed, with you on top of him straddling his lap. Your lips connected again, you tried to unbutton his shirt as he grabbed your butt softly and squeezed it.

You almost ripped his shirt, but you didn’t care.

It was your turn to press your lips on his neck.

Mark closed his eyes, the way his crotch met you when you pressed yourself against him, the way your lips kissed his soft skin, leaving pretty marks on Mark.

Mark couldn’t take it anymore. His pants were so tight, it almost hurt. He wanted to feel you, he needed to feel you. Mark changed positions, he was on top of you now.

“Take this off- please, fuck, take this off now.” He looked for the zipper of your dress and when he finally found it, he wanted to cry.

He took off your dress, and fuck, he was going crazy. You weren’t wearing a bra, only your black panties.

“Fuck, you’re so perfect.”

The way Mark looked at you made you feel so beautiful. You weren’t shy like you used to be, you felt good and you wanted him so bad.

You pulled him up for a short kiss.

Mark took off his pants as fast as he could and he was painfully hard. He couldn’t wait to be inside of you. His lips were on your nipple, he sucked on your breast and his hand was playing with the other one. After sucking on your one nipple, his attention was on the other one. “Mark- fuck, it feels so good. Please don’t stop.” You moaned.

You were so wet and feeling Mark’s cock against your thigh turned you so on.

While playing with your nipples, his one hand found your pussy. He stroked it over your panties, but then his hand travelled in your panties and he started playing with your wet pussy.

“Baby you are so wet. All for me?”

“Yes, yes. So wet for you, Mark.” You closed your eyes tightly. It felt so good to feel his hands on you again.

Even thought Mark wanted to taste you, he couldn’t take it anymore, he needed to be in you now.

“You can take me, right baby? I need to fuck you.”

“Please fuck me Mark.” You also couldn’t take it anymore, you needed to cum.

Mark took off his boxers and hovered above you. “F-Fuck I don’t have a condom.”

“You don’t have a condom? Why?” you asked him.

“Well, I didn’t think that I was going to fuck you here.”

“What if you’d met someone else here?” you asked curiously.

“I’m not interested in someone else. I want you- I always wanted you.” He admitted shyly.

You looked each other in the eyes for a couple seconds, he leaned in and pecked your lips. He pulled back and looked at you again.

“You can fuck me without a condom. I’m on the pill and I haven’t had sex in months,” You can’t even remember the last time Minho fucked you. “And I never fucked without a condom after I had sex with you.”

“Me too. I mean after… after you I haven’t fucked raw.”

“Okay.” You said softly.

“Okay.” He leaned in and pressed his lips on yours.

While kissing you, he slowly pushed his cock in you. You grabbed his biceps tightly, he stretched you, you haven’t been fucked in so long, you got even tighter.

Mark pulled back and looked at you. “You feel so good around me. So, so fucking good. I missed you so much.” With that, Mark pushed his entire length inside of you.

“Fuck-“

He was fucking into you, slowly but hard. You could feel his entire length and he always hit your sweet spot. “Right there- Mark, fuck.”

“I-I want to ride you. Mark, fuck.” You moaned.

Mark turned you, you were now on top of him.

You bounced on his cock up and down, his hands on your waist pushed you down and he thrusted his hips to fuck into you. Your hands were on his shoulder, holding him. Even though you wanted to ride him, he was fucking you hard and good.

“M-Mark I’m gonna cum. Fuck Fuck Mark-“

And then your climax hit you. You collapsed on top of him and he still fucked into you. “Fuck feel so good. Y-you feel so good.” Mark was so close and the way he kept fucking you overstimulated you. You clenched one last time and Mark came inside of you, painting you walls white. He moaned your name as he came and you could feel him twitching inside of you.

Mark wrapped his arms around you and pressed you against his chest. Mark pulled his cock out of you. You could hear his heart beating against his chest.

The night was perfect, after cleaning you up, you were wrapped in his arms once again. You talked about everything that night. Everything you had missed when you were apart.

“Can I ask you something?” he said.

“Sure.”

“Did you ever love him? Minho or whatever his name was.” Mark was jealous, even though you were in his arms.

“No, I don’t think that I’ve ever loved anyone, except for you. I always loved you.”

Mark smiled and kissed your temple.

“Why were you with him? Why didn’t you break up with him? Jaehyun told me that he’s an asshole.”

“After- after you broke up with me, I was… lost. I didn’t know what to do. I felt worthless and just- useless. He made me feel- wanted? I don’t know. I needed someone to forget you and he didn’t care. He never cared about me but he made me believe that he loved me. And that’s all I wanted. I just wanted to be loved.” You whispered the last part. A tear escaped your eye and you were quick enough to wipe it away. But Mark still noticed.

Mark felt bad. He never wanted you to feel this way. You were a dream. You were so perfect and it was his fault that you felt worthless. If anyone was useless, it was Mark.

“It’s my fault a-and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that you felt that way, but it’s not true. You are so much more. You are perfect in every possible way. You are more than anyone could ask for. I’ll never forgive myself that I made you feel this way.” Mark teared up and pulled you even closer.

“C-Can I ask you something?” you asked this time.

“Y-Yes.”

“What did you do with the money?” you were always curious about that.          

Mark gulped hard, the memory pained him. “I gave it back.”

“What?”

“I couldn’t take money from a stupid bet, a bet that hurt you. I wasn’t proud of what I did. I wanted to forget that it happened, that I did that to you. I wanted to erase that from my memory. But I couldn’t erase you.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you. I loved you back then and I love you now. I never stopped loving you but I was too scared to reach out to you. I thought you hated me and it took me long to realize how much I love you.”

You looked up to him, you didn’t want to cry but your eyes were teary. “You love me?”

“Yes, I love you. I love you so much. There was not a single day without missing you, not a single day without regret eating me alive.”

“S-So you still love?”

“Yes. I love you.” He looked you deep in the eyes.

“I love you too.”

Mark smiled widely. Oh, how he missed hearing that you loved him.

“I’m sorry for everything.”

“It’s okay.” You pecked his lips but that wasn’t enough for Mark. He climbed on top of you and kissed you passionately.

His hand was on your naked thigh, stroking it softly. You were wet and when Mark put his hand on your wet pussy, you moaned.

Mark circled your clit and his tongue played with yours. It felt so good. He slowly put two fingers inside of your cunt and thrusted them in and out. You clenched around his fingers and you could feel your climax coming. Mark added a third finger.

His lips were back on your skin. Mark softly kissed your boobs and sucked on your sensitive nipples.

“Are you going to be a good girl and cum?” he asked you between his kisses.

“Yes- I’m so close.”

“Look at me.” His face was close to yours again, and when you looked at him, at his dark doe eyes, you came.

After you calmed down, you glanced at the clock in the room.

“Shit, Mark. It’s almost six in the morning. We need to sleep.”

You talked the whole night and after two orgasms and cuddling, you didn’t notice that it was already this late.

“But I’m hard.” He pouted.

“Do you want me to suck you off?”

“Yes, please baby, please suck me off.” He begged.

You were on the edge of the bed, your face right in front of his hard cock.

You slowly licked from the bottom to his tip. You pumped his cock in your hand a couple times before you put it inside of your mouth. After pumping him, you licked the slit on his tip.

“Babe- don’t tease me.” He whimpered.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Anything- but just please, do something.”

You put his entire length inside of your mouth, bobbing your head up and down and pumping the part of his dick you couldn’t put inside of your mouth.

You stopped bobbing you head and stared licked his tip again. “Babe- please. Please make me cum.”

Mark was going crazy. He needed to cum, his cock was so sensitive now, he twitched every time you licked or touched him.

“Okay, baby. I teased you enough, I’ll make you cum. You want to cum right?” you kissed his cock and he nodded. “Please. I want to cum on your face.”

You sucked his dick properly this time, he was so sensitive and so close, not even ten seconds later, he came on your face, just like he wanted to.

“Fuck, fuck fuck. That was so fucking good, babe, fuck.” Mark was breathing heavily, the intense orgasm tired him. You cleaned you face, fortunately he only came on your face and inside of your mouth.

You crawled back to him and kissed his lips. “Thank you.” He thanked you. “I love sucking your dick.”

“No, well yeah thank you for that too but I’m thankful for everything. Thank you for forgiving me.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

And you fell asleep in his arms.

I'd go back to you I'd go back to you What was there, wasn't sure But I'd go back to you I know I'd go back to you

Not even three hours later, your alarm clock woke you and Mark up.

“I don’t want to leave you.” You mumbled.

“I don’t want you to leave either. Stay a little longer.” He kissed your shoulder.

“I can’t I have to wake up Aera. It’s her big day, it needs to be perfect.”

“Everything you do is perfect.” Mark flirted.

“Shut up, I’ll see you later okay? Thank you for last night.”

“I love you.” He leaned down and kissed you. After kissing for two minutes to pulled back again. “I have to go.”

“Just five more minutes.”

Almost thirty minutes later, you tiptoed to your bedroom. Aera was wide awake playing with her phone when she saw you.

“Where the fuck were you and why are- oh my god.” Aera understood immediately. “You bitch fucked Mark didn’t you.”

“Yes, and now shut up and get ready for your wedding day!”

“I know I know, but like, I’m happy if you are happy. Are you happy?” she asked you worriedly.

“Yes. I’ve never been happier I think.” You smiled. You were really happy and so in love with Mark.

“Then I’m happy.”

Hours later, you found yourself in your maid of honor dress, looking absolutely gorgeous. Mark was helping you with everything. With the catering company, the guests and everything else that needed to be taken care of.

Mark stole kisses from you here and there and now he pulled you back to his bedroom and kissed you intensely.

“You look so stunning- I can’t stop staring at you. I love you, pretty girl.” He kissed you again.

“M-Mark fuck, you look so hot and I really want to fuck you, b-but, fuck we can’t.” you closed your eyes and let him kiss your neck.

“Okay, okay. I’m trying to stay calm, but fuck, you look so good I want to rip that dress off.”

“We’ll have the whole night. Let’s go back, people are going to get suspicious.”

When you went back, you met Johnny and Yuta on your way.

“Where are you two coming from?” Yuta asked.

“My bedroom- ouch.” You kicked Mark’s leg.

“What were you doing in your bedroom?” Johnny asked amused. “Do you want me to show you?” Mark asked with a smirk.

“Mark? What the f-“ and then Mark pulled you in and kissed you fully on the lips.

He could finally show Johnny that you belonged to him, that you always belonged to him.

“Well I guess we saw that coming.” Yuta laughed with Johnny. The two left and you were still kissing.

“Ew! He is eating her Mommy!” you heard a little girl scream.

You pulled away immediately and apologized.

Mark laughed his ass off as he walked you to Aera’s dressing room. “I’m going to eat you tonight. But not your mouth. I’m going to eat your cunt.”

“I can’t wait. I’ll see you at the ceremony alright? I need to stay with Aera now.”

“Okay baby.” He kissed you goodbye.

The wedding ceremony ended so quickly, next thing you knew you were in Mark’s arms slow dancing. Aera and Jaehyun’s wedding was truly beautiful. Everything went smoothly and you were finally resting in the arms of your lover.

Aera and Jaehyun were also slow dancing and smiling happily. Not only because it was the most important night of their lives- also because their best friends were finally happy together.

“Y/n?” Mark said your name softly.

“Mhm?” you hummed with closed eyes.

“I’m really sorry that I put you trough all of that, and I’m sorry that it took me so long to realize my real feelings for you. You’re the most wonderful person I’ve ever met in my entire life and I’m going to do everything I can to keep you in my arms. I don’t want to see sad ever again. I’ll love you until my last breath.”

You promised yourself you weren’t going to cry that night, but a couple tears still escaped.

“You know, I was hurt but I healed and I’m more than ready to do this with you again. It was you. My heart always longed for you, and I don’t think that there could be anyone I would love as much as I love you. You could break my heart thousand times, I would go back to you over and over again.” You looked up to him, he could see the love you felt for him in your eyes.

“I love you.”

“I love you.” And with that, Mark pressed his lips on yours and kissed you with so much love and adoration.

I'll go back to you I'll go back to you I know I'd go back to you I'll go back to you I'll go back to you I know I'd go back to you