#almost cried in the car on the way home but like. im fucking done crying over that friendship

[wifegideonnav]

ran into my ex best friend today. so that sucked.

[mycomori]

almost cried during my psych appointment. i’m so tired. fuck even my psych was like “why is everything so difficult for you at every step?” and im like GIRL I WISH I FUCKING KNEW anyways finally got done w that it went overtime there was so much to talk about and getting my meds is gonna be uh difficult :) to say the least :) but it’s in motion i guess and i went to the dispensary to finally get to pick up medical carts since ive been out of pa for the last three months and have been paying unsafe prices because they won’t take my med card there (pa is the only state that they don’t take :) only to come home and find out my cars just expired and i was like okay well i already paid and renewed it months ago and turns out i STILL have to fucking jump through extra hoops to get my new card even though i already paid the state months ago and long story short my card is expired and they won’t send em a new one until i do a bunch for shit and pay more money and somehow that wa any breaking point cause now i’m in the parking lot trying not to cry because nothing goes right and it just goes wrong in every way i didn’t even imagine at every step of the way and im so tired and nothing is getting better and im completely fucking alone with this and god why the fuck don’t i live in a country where self euthanasia is legal because j can’t fucking take this anymore

[anastasiaskarsgard]

A/n;So someone asked for smut for the perfect girl that decides she’s gonna have some fun before she dies. I’m A bit rusty. TW: sex, cursing, choking, 18+ NSFW

If you wanna read the first part it’s called perfect problem and is the last thing I wrote on here and posted...

“So where are we going?” Bethany asked as they got into some ridiculously expensive sports car. Adjusting her clothing and hair, she glanced over at Roman to find him just watching her.

Smirking his signature smirk, he turned the car on and raced out of the parking lot like he has stolen the car. “It’s a surprise.” Roman said, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

“Eyes on the road Speed Racer! Ok well at least tell me what we are going to go do.” She whined.

“Nope. No can do princess. You’re just going to have to have a little faith.” He grinned.

“Your reputation doesn’t exactly inspire trust. No offense.” She felt bad as soon as she looked over. He looked almost sad. “I’m just giving you a hard time. I’m not serious.” She lied.

“I thought you were supposed to be smart...”

“Oh ho ho! Someone bounces back quick.”she jibed as she turned to look out the window. She wasn’t exactly familiar with the area so she wasn’t sure what she was looking for. There was trees, and then some houses, and then businesses so there’s no way to tell if they were going somewhere Residential or commercial.

Grabbing her phone to send out some emails, she wasn’t paying attention when she noticed the car had stopped. Looking up from her phone she made an incredulous face at Roman when she noticed that they were in front of a large mansion.

“Really?” She quipped.

“Hey Before you jump to conclusions, I’m just coming here to get into some more comfortable clothes. I can’t exactly have fun in a suit, now can I?” He got out of the car and walked around it to open her door. “You can look around or grab a drink or whatever you like while I change.”

Stepping out of The car, Bethany followed roman inside his home. “ not even gonna try that old give me a tour excuse?”

Scoffing, he shook his head no, and made a crossing motion over his heart. “Scouts honor.”

“What if that’s exactly what I wanted to do?” She breathed out as she made her best attempt at sexy. Licking her lips, and winking, she nearly cried out when all of a sudden he was only inches away from her. “You’re very fast. I hope that’s not true for everything though.”

Smirking, he lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. Pulling back to look at his face, she bit her bottom lip thoughtfully, as he walked them up to his room. Seeing the insecurity creeping in, He kept an eye open to watch where he was going but smashed his mouth back into hers, in a passionate, breathtaking kiss. Completely losing herself, she was startled when he dropped her on the bed and crawled over her body, pressing himself into her, making his intentions clear.

Sitting up as he straddled her waist, he ripped his shirt off, sending buttons flying, before aggressively attacking her mouth once more. Her nails dug into his bare back and he groaned into her mouth, before kissing down her neck and onto her chest.

Abruptly, he jumped off her and stood over her a moment longer than she assumed it took to take off his pants, so she lifted her head, cocking a brow at him curiously.

“Dress off.” He ordered, his smile fading.

Smiling a Cheshire grin, she shook her head no and looked up at the ceiling. Not letting curiosity get the best of her, she refused to look at him when he huffed impatiently. Even when he had stormed out of the room, and returned a few minutes later, looming over her, she refused to award his bratty behavior.

“Please take your dress off.” He finally bit out.

For a moment She pondered denying him-- and in turn denying herself. But the fact remained, she wanted him, whether contrived or genuine, She did. And She was done not doing what She wanted.

“Stand up.” His voice shocked her out of her head and She found herself standing at the side of the bed. “Good girl.” He purred, his hand brushing her back as he walked behind her and She shivered, as she turned her head to look at him. “Head forward.”

She did so, waiting for him to come back into view and see how far he’d take this little game. When she heard the bed sheets move, she fought the urge to turn around until She felt his fingers on her back, drawing letters or shapes; she wasn’t sure. Roman hummed quietly, lulling her into a peaceful calm, when suddenly he pulled her back into him. He was sitting on the bed, his long legs slightly spread and he spun her around, and placed her straddling over his one naked leg. Somewhere, somehow He’d removed his pants.

Gently he traced up her chest and wrapped one hand in her hair, pulling her forward so he could kiss her neck. Surprisingly, he bit her ... hard. Instead of pain, her senses exploded, causing her to moan wantonly, as she ground her core against his bare thigh.

When his other hand slid down her stomach, She Was almost embarrassed by how wet she had become.

“Stay still…” He said playfully in her ear as he slipped his fingers past the lace covering his goal. Plunging them within her, coating his fingers with her wetness, He gazed into her eyes lustily, as he Brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked them clean. “So ready for me.”

She nodded dumbly, lost in the sinful way his tongue worked around his fingers. Biting her lip, she must of looked pitiful, because Roman dropped character a moment to chuckle and move a piece of hair behind her ear affectionately. Almost lovingly.

Unfortunately she was way too far gone to contemplate what these gestures might mean. She wanted to fuck and she wanted those fingers to go back down there, but this was Roman Godfrey. The man Was unpredictable at best, and uncooperative the rest of the time.

Roman was a predator, and predators like to chase. As much as she wanted to just throw herself at him and demand to fuck her into oblivion, she Still had enough pride to play the game.

“I knew I was right.” He growled, Standing, releasing her hair, so he could wrap his hand around her throat. She grinned, not really caring what he meant. “Now, Im going to fuck you. I’m not going to be gentle, but I’m going to make sure you come so hard that you forget your fucking name.” He smirked cockily, still holding her by the throat. “I can see it in your eyes, that you’re a fucking freak under all that polite perfection. You’ve never fucked up or disappointed anyone ever. You’re loved and respected. Americas sweetheart.... I wonder what they’d all say if they saw you right now, ready to be my little fuck doll, cuz that’s exactly what you are.” Two of his fingers dragged across her cheek, Forcing their way in her mouth. She could taste herself on him and it made her nearly mad with need. She’d never been this turned on in her life. “You have the most perfect lips.” He said as he examined the way they wrapped around his fingers, “I’m going to put so many things in your mouth.”

She sucked briefly, before humming around his digits, lightly biting them. Swiftly, he removed them for a moment, before getting a mischievous look on his face and shoving them in as deep as he could, choking her slightly. Slightly panicked, she reached for his hand, but he just tsked and Tightened his grip on her throat, before ripping his fingers out of her mouth and plunging his tongue in their place.

She really needed to breathe, but eventhough she could feel her limbs growing weak, She didn’t fight him. Completely surrendering to the most arousing experience in her life.

“That’s why I’m going to keep you.” Before She could comment or recover, he removed her dress and threw her down on the bed, standing over her a moment to look her over.

He yanked her underwear down and dove two fingers into her roughly, making her arch her back. His expert fingers were moving faster and faster, getting her closer and closer to the edge of orgasm. It’d been a long time since a man made her orgasm, and she was certain, she’d never come close to this intensity. He reached down and pulled her up by the back of her neck, holding her against him like a rag doll, as he brought her closer. , his thumb brushed over her clit and She opened her mouth, trying not to scream. Her limbs started to shake, as her pelvis started thrusting into his hand, flailing about as Her vision began to blur. She closed her eyes tight, ready for the climax.

“Look at me. Look at who is making you feel this way,” he said seductively.

She breathed, looking into his gorgeous green eyes, as He quickened his pace again and added a third finger, making her buck, as she grabbed his rock hard erection, causing him to hiss, and roll on top of her.

“Patience.” He teased, pushing her legs apart. She looked in between his to see his cock standing hard and long against his stomach, a new need screamed within her, demanding him inside her right fucking now.

“What do you want?” He asked innocently, three fingers diving into her again. She closed her eyes from all the sensations, trying to get control, but she was past the point of pride now.

“Please--” She gasped. “Please.”

“Please what?” He pressed down on her clit and She wanted to kill him, but first had to fuck him. His other hand came down and pinched her nipple, twisting it and making her cry out.

“Fuck!” She screamed as he did the same to the other. “Fuck! Fuck me Roman! Fucking fuck me now or I’m going to kill you!”

He didn’t need to be told twice and She felt the large head of his cock against her entrance, before he just forced it inside her with one powerful thrust.

He was big and it took her body a moment to adjust to him, the burn slowly fading as he gave her a moment to breathe and relax herself to accommodate by far the largest cock she’d ever seen, let alone was inside of her.

Somehow it felt divine when he began to move again, and she moaned loudly, his body pressing down into her as he started to move his hips back and forth. She could feel him driving into her with solid, sure strokes as She clenched around him. His lips crashed into hers again as he pushed his hand under her ass and pulled her hips up, sitting back so he could move at a quicker pace. Setting her nerves on fire. Every inch of her body sang in extreme pleasure. His thrusts massaged her inner walls, the tension roaring through her, as he bottomed out and touched a place she’d never felt before, but the intensity made her screech.

She could feel the tell tale signs of an orgasm swelling through her but She held it back, making it feel sweeter and richer with each passing moment. His fingers dug into hips hard enough to break her bones as he closed his eyes, focusing on his own pleasure. His pace turned more erratic and She gripped him around his torso, desperately trying to hang on so they could both orgasm at the same time. Pulling him down and attempting to hide her face in his throat, he stopped and leaned back looking at her beautiful flushed face.

“Ah--ah-- ah--” He held still. “Look at me.”

She did, letting herself melt into his gaze as he started again, harder and faster than before. Noises came from her, she didn’t know She could make and his hand wrapped around her throat, squeezing possessively. Each thrust sent shockwaves through her until She was right back to nearly cumming.

“Please--” It took effort to speak through his grip, but She was so close, she didn’t care if she had to beg. “Please, I’m so close--”

“Tell me how badly you want it.” He ordered, his own breath ragged.

“I need it-- please! Please, Roman!” She screamed like a desperate, shameless whore, before she exploded, tightening around him as his grip turned to a vice around her neck and somehow the lack of oxygen intensified the sensory overload to a new height. She drowned in the relentless, all encompassing sensations, that lasted far longer than She thought possible-- causing herself to completely release control for the first time in her life.

As the shocks rocked through her, she felt him stiffen and press into her as deep as possible, spending himself inside her. She couldn’t help but trip out a little about being so full of him. She’d never allowed anyone to finish inside her before.

“You really are good at everything,” he said playfully, as he rubbed his nose along hers, and held her a moment, before pulling out, and flopping down beside her. Brushing his fingers along her tight stomach, and full breasts, he decided she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.

His mother was going to fucking hate her...

Perfect.

[broadwayandnetflix]

OMG- BO FIC REQUEST

a fluffy fic where he takes you out to a fancy dinner. picks you up at your house & meets your parents, driving to the place, all that pizazz- and more if you decide to write! Im a big fucking sucker for the romantics as you can see LMFAO.

Meet The Parents - Bo Burnham x Reader

Warnings: Language

Theme: Fluff! Slight bit of Angst.

Word Count: 2.6k

A/N: picture this as like his what tour cause it fits up with the college timeline hoes. also, I hope you like that I added an airport, cause rom-com shit amirite? I’ll stop. wooooooo this is so long. I hope y’all like essays cause fuck.

It had been too long since you had last seen your boyfriend, Bo. The two of you had met in college at NYU briefly before he dropped out to pursue his comedy career.

Of course, you have been supportive. Why wouldn’t you be? You just really missed him, especially when he went on long tours, you in school, and him touring the world.

The two of you kept in touch. Bo often taking the time to call you before or after a show to hear your voice and call himself down. You knew what they did to his anxiety, and not being able to hold each other was difficult for the both of you.

He’d do the same for you, without a shadow of a doubt. Especially when school was stressing you out, and exams and essays were becoming a pain in the ass to handle. Even if it was just little funny texts or messages, he helped you.

It’s what you did for each other. You were a team, even if it was states away from each other. Except, luckily for you, his tour was ending soon. Or it should be, judging by the tiny calendar of dates that he gave you.

It was nearing Thanksgiving Break, and it just didn’t seem applicable that you’d be able to meet up in time. Given the short week window and Bo riding down from nearly a year of touring.

So you didn’t say much, as you packed your bags for the week and left for your home state.

The airplane ride wasn’t that bad. You wished that you had Bo beside you, cracking jokes to calm the inevitable way that your heart would jolt when you went up in the air. Unlike Bo, you absolutely hated flying.

Earbuds in, you strolled into the airport a tad bit jet-lagged and went to grab a bite from a small coffee shop. Slipping the cashier a twenty, you walked the airport in search of your luggage.

Through a sea of people, you trudged, already feeling fatigued and just wanting a nap. You didn’t even realize that you were gonna run smack dab into someone. That is until their hand shot up and held you steady.

You laughed pathetically and cringed quickly, going to apologize, hoping that the person who caught you would just keep moving on. Except, they still stood in front of you, silent as ever.

“Hey man look I’m so sorry, I’m just so tired I didn’t even see where I was going.” you mumbled before realizing just who you were speaking to.

Bo.

You froze, staring at the man in pure confusion. How was he here when he was supposed to still be on tour? You rubbed your eyes, wondering if he’d still be there when you reopened them.

News flash, Bo was still there. Fuck.

“Holy shit,” you murmured, realizing your hands were still full with your bag, phone, and lunch.

God, you were gonna cry; this wasn’t happening. He looked so fucking good, the glasses, the hair.

He watched you quietly, a soft smile resting upon his lips. While you clumsily pull on his arm to get out of the ongoing traffic of people around you, preferably a spot with a place to put your stuff.

Your tall boyfriend lumbering after you unbeknownst to you, trying to compose himself. It had practically been months since he had seen you last, and you had never looked more beautiful.

Once you set them down gently, you practically ran into the man’s arms. His bags gently fall to the floor as his arms are securely wrapped around you. Nearly lifting you off the ground.

The two of you rocked gently in the embrace, completely lost in each other. Bo resting his head on top of yours, pressing soft kisses upon your head. Tears softly pour down your cheeks and onto his shirt. Giving him enough time to wipe them away and plant a soft kiss against your lips.

“Bo, what are you doing here? I thought you were still on tour.” you sniffled, still wrapped up in his arms.

“Managed to make things work, I wanted to see you. Or I was gonna try and surprise you at the gate, but you kinda…ran into me.” Bo smirked, looking down at you.

“Well you definitely surprised me, man I really missed you.” you said quietly.

“Honey, you don’t understand how long I’ve waited for this moment. I swear my agents are probably sick and tired of me talking about you.” he exclaimed, causing you to smile.

This long-distance was really starting to get to the two of you; of course, his tour was gonna be over soon. Except, especially two different states away from each other, it made your heart hurt.

Moments like these, you wanted to just pause the time and exist in them forever. It seemed like between the two of you, you were running out of time. Just how much time exactly?

It was almost as if he could sense the hesitation as he swept up his bags and yours in the process.

“Just realized, we’ve got places to be.” he chirped, and you eyed him curiously.

“Like where?” you said, grabbing your coffee and bag from the coffee shop.

“Patience is a virtue my dear.” he tuts and slips his hand between yours. “Now, where’s your luggage terminal?”

-

It was roughly a forty-minute drive from the airport to your place. Bo had rented a car for the next couple of days, so it was smooth sailing from that point on.

Bo behind the wheel, and you are sitting in the passenger trying to figure out what music to play.

It didn’t help that you were in the car with a comedian, as whatever song you picked, Bo would pretend to critique it. Only sending you into a fit of hysterics.

“Oh okay, well you pick the music then!” you cried, pretending to stare daggers at him.

“I’ve got something for you, it’s this brand new artist I found while on tour.” he grinned, looking over at you briefly before focusing back on the road.

“His name is….Bo Burnham I think? I could be wrong? He was good-“ he said nonchalantly before earning a quick swipe to his arm from you.

“God, you look cute when you’re angry. You’re missing out on that Bo Burnham guy, he’s got potential.” he said.

“I hate you.” you giggle before finding a more comfortable position in the car.

“Oh shit you know what I just realized?” Bo yelped, causing you to slightly jolt in your seat.

“What?”

“Isn’t this the first time I’m meeting your parents?” he asked, causing you to slightly stiffen in your seat.

Technically, yes. It wasn’t like your parents didn’t know, it’s more so that there was never really a good time for them to meet. You wondered what they’d think, dating someone who dropped out of college to pursue comedy.

Not that your parents were judgmental. They wanted you to be happy, as any parents would. You just were worried if they wouldn’t respect and love Bo as much as you did. It had been close to two years at this point; what else did you have to lose?

“You are right, oh dear god. I wonder how that’s gonna go, hopefully well, right?” you ask, more so to yourself than Bo.

“Oh please, I’m great with people’s parents. Plus, they raised you, I’m sure they are great people. Babe, you’ve got nothing to worry about.” he reassured before continuing on the route.

-

It wasn’t long before he pulled into your family driveway, pulling the car into park, quickly placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“You ready?” he says quietly, looking at you sweetly.

You eyed the front door before looking back and meeting his eyes, nodding, as he leaned in to give you a quick kiss.

God, you missed those.

“Here goes nothing.” you smirk before slipping out of the passenger side and gather your bags.

Bo now follows suit as you knock on the door, his taller frame towering over you. One hand pressed on the small of your back, holding you steady.

The front door opens with a swing, with your mother greeting you at the door. A firm grin upon her lips as she rushes out to hug you, your father appearing behind her.

“Oh I’m so glad you were able to come home! We missed you so much!” she exclaims, squeezing you tighter.

Before giving you a slight nudge and knowing look towards Bo, who had remained oblivious, while he shook hands with your father.

All of you gather inside your house, Bo taking control of the conversation when acceptable.

Sitting down at the kitchen table, your parents are engulfed in his stories and laughing at his jokes. All the while getting to know the man that you loved so much.

Bo was pretty much a natural when it came to impressing others, and you knew it wasn’t gonna be an issue with your parents.

The two of you answering almost any questions, Bo excitingly telling the story of how the two of you met.

-

“Oh I almost forgot, I need you to do me a favor.” Bo murmured when the two of you had a moment to be alone.

You looked up at him in confusion before he mentioned something about dressing up nice. A knowing look upon his lips before giving you a slight wink and walking off towards the guest room.

There you stood, gaping like a fish in wonderment at what he possibly could be planning. Slowly walking into your childhood bedroom, looking for anything that would meet his description of nice.

You settled for something that you wore to a formal gathering that still managed to fit you. Giving yourself a quick look in the mirror, you left your bedroom to find Bo standing there.

You had to hold back a gasp; the man looked rather handsome in a dress shirt and pants. His hair was nicely done, and his hand gestured out for you to take.

“Bo what is all this for?” you exclaim, as he only smirks and leads you towards the front door.

“Shut up, I’ve been wanting to take you out for months.” he says as he opens it and leads you towards his car.

The man practically doing the whole nine yards, all the while you looking at him in pure wonderment. Of course, the two of you had been on dates prior, but never like this.

You had to practically stop yourself from grinning as he suavely got into the driver’s side of the car., Giving a quick glance over at you unbeknownst to you, trying not to melt at how gorgeous you looked.

“Where are we going?” you ask as he starts the car slowly pulling out of the driveway.

“You ask a lot of questions my dear.” he says, keeping his eyes focused on the road.

“Oh shit is this my execution?” you smirk as he dramatically nods.

“Babe, how the hell did you find out? Who told you? Was it my manager? I knew she’d rat me out!” he exclaims.

“You know I had to be certain, you did make me dress up all nice and all.” you play along, grinning ear to ear.

“Oh well, I can’t give away the entire surprise so zip it with the questions sweetie.” he quips as he continues the drive.

-

It’s not long before he pulls into a fancy Italian restaurant, way out of your usual pay range. You could feel your stomach do somersaults, giving the man an incredulous look.

Bo simply grins as he gets out of the car, rushing over to open yours for you. Eyes wide, still staring at him like he was fucking insane. He shakes his head and carefully pulls you out of the car.

“Now no complaints. Or whatever you plan to do. I’m paying, I’ve been wanting to treat you like this for over a year now. I’m doing it, and I’m gonna enjoy doing it.” Bo huffs, all dignified.

You simply nod in disbelief before he slips his hand within yours. While he enters the restaurant, he mentions his reservations to the hostess, and they seat you at a table.

Once the butterflies subsided in your stomach, you took the attention of the man in front of you. Never had anyone done something like this for you. You were trying to not look like a genuine fool with the smile you wanted to express.

You knew he was the one for you, but the way that he had looked at you. The pure adoration in his eyes and how he had planned everything, you were practically melting.

“I love you.” you whisper, wondering if he could hear it.

He did.

Bo looked up from his menu, a blush now practically kissing his cheeks. He dimples, rising at the declaration before reaching across the table since he was large enough to kiss you gently.

He was quick enough as the waitress came over to take your order. That goofy lovesick grin still plastered across his face as he straightened up in his seat.

The two of you ordering whatever looked best on the menu, clinking glasses when they arrived and looking dreamily into each other’s eyes.

“Man, I missed you. Like I know I say it a lot, but I mean I did. Going on tour is….well it’s lonely. I know you’re still in school, but sweetie. When I’m done, you’ll be sick of me. I promise.” Bo said insistently.

“No I won’t, I’m sure it’s gonna be the other way around. I don’t know if I say it enough, but I really am proud of you. I am so proud to call you my boyfriend, to call you mine. I don’t mind waiting.” you say quietly.

“How did I get so lucky?” he paused, eyeing the plates of food that were coming your way.

“Thank NYU, they did all the work.” you joke, thanking the waitress before digging into the meals.

The food was excellent; it was incredibly worth the price. Even if it was steep, the dinner was lovely. Bo is cracking jokes and telling you his favorite fan encounters that have occurred since his tour began.

It was hard to believe that the man who was often so quiet and shy could be so loud and brave enough to yell at hecklers. Except you could believe it, you had obviously been to one of his shows.

It made your heart begin to flutter at the fact that he wasn’t afraid to be himself around you; it made you feel secure.

The way his stage presence dominated the scene, it was practically impossible to keep your eyes off of him. No matter the situation.

Even now, his eyes glimmer while he tells you whatever story he had dug up. This was his passion, and you reveled in it all.

The night went well as the two of you caught up, knowing it would be quite some time before he’d meet up with you again. As he too had Thanksgiving to celebrate with his family in Massachusetts.

You shared a nice dessert, and he left a rather hefty tip simply because he could. Bo never made it necessary to note that he had money, but you knew he was excited to spend it.

All the while, you spent the night in a dizzying smile. Not giving a shit whether anyone knew it or not, even in the parking lot. The two of you waltzing messily towards the car, giggling and sputtering like a bunch of fools.

He was your fool, and you were his, who knew how long you’d have with him for now. You were destined to make the most of it.

Even as the ride home dwindled and you knew he’d have to catch a flight soon. You weren’t surprised or shocked even; days with him tended to be like this.

As the two of you reached your front door, Bo carefully leaned down to a comfortable position and kissed you softly. Not desperately, just tenderly. As if by the time he’d kiss you again, you’d simply wouldn’t be there.

His lips grazing yours, hands pressed carefully against your cheeks. You reciprocating all the while leaning into him in a warm embrace.

When you finally pulled away to catch your breath, he gave you a look that you knew all too well.

“I’m not saying goodbye.” you whisper into his arms.

“I’ll be back soon don’t worry.” he murmurs into your embrace.

With one last kiss on the forehead, you watch as he walks back to his car. Judging by the way his schedule worked, you knew he’d be back sooner than he would in the past.

Yet, with the soft ‘I love you’ said between the two of you couldn’t help but shed a tear and just hope that the next time would last longer.

[thithesandofferings]

Jealous Raian Kure

Drabble of Raian having more the emotion of thirsting for blood- 

TW: NSFW 18+ MINORS DNI!! Dom!Raian Sub!Fem Reader- Unprotected sex Degradation, insults, jealousy, sadism... Raian just being mean and you liking it. 

Normally Raian doesnt have much of a libido but with you it tends to be different. You bring out a 'more primal' reaction in him and much like his love of killing or harming those weaker than himself, hes rather protective of you....really really over protective. At this point its more of a territorial thing. He knows you're weaker than him so he has to protect you. He has to show you that no can and never will mess with HIS property. If out in public hes not really one for skinship but if he sees another dude staring at you he'll walk up besides you and grab your neck or ass. He'd give them the best shit eating grin and ridicule the fuck outta them 

"You really think you have a chance with my girl shit for brains? She only takes my hard cock in her tight little cunt so im pretty sure whatever you got packing aint as big as mines but then again i can prove it to you" 

 He'd then keep that up ‘til the guy walks off or God forbid wants to fight him. Its at that point when you have to intervene before the guy gets killed. The drive home however would be quiet asf because you know he's mad for a couple of reasons One, some guy tried to talk to you Two, said guy is still breathing and walking And three, someone tried TO TALK TO YOU. HIS girl! Its not like all of japan dont know that you're his, but yet humans love to test him i guess. Either way, its gonna end with you not walking tomorrow. 

Now you remember how i said raian has very primal...almost feral urges with you?

 As soon as the car stops, hes already outside and walking to rip open your door. (Which he’s done a few times actually). He grabs you by the forearm and yanks you out of the car. If anyone was to walk by and see the way he did it, they would surely try to come to your aid but you know he would never do that. He kicks the door open and flings you over his shoulder and makes his way upstairs to your shared bedroom. He then throw you onto the bed, you nearly bouncing off, and through gritted teeth asks "what color?" 

Ever since you and Raian started getting more sexual, he insisted- no demanded that you have a safe word system in place. "I can be...very rough and..i guess i dont wanna hurt you. In a way you dont want that is". Immediately after that talk you both had your first sexual night and he managed to break your hip, a rib and sprained your wrist. He was really pissed because you didnt use your safe word with him, thusly this would be the first time since that incident. "OI! What color idiot?" 

"...green" 

Jealous Raian is one of the roughest you’ve ever known. It ranges from him handcuffing your wrists to the headboard and face fucking you for hours.

"Since you like using this mouth to entertain other guys, how bout i make it useful?"

 "Slutty fucking mouth! Ive been at this almost half an hour and you still cant get enough huh, not that you even have a choice now" 

"Open wider! “-wanna feel your throat gripping my dick" 

 He's not patient enough for spanks so he has to improvise. He bends you over the bed and slaps your ass and makes you count. He'd play with your clit and pound into you all whiles threatening you to never lose count. Jealous Raian is the type to gag you with your own panties and still tell you to scream. His favorite position would be missionary. He wants to see your face whiles he ruts into you. Grabs your wrist together and holds them above your head. He wants to hear all the sobs...all the cries-FUCK he loves when you cry. When hes fucking you and he hears you say his name in between sobs, that triggers something in him. He loves to see your faces...the faces you try to hide...the face you make when your tongue hangs outta your mouth and the only words you seem to know is "Raian" and "s'good" 

"Fucked you dumb, didnt i?"

 "Hows it feel to be robbed of something you're so proud of slut? My dumb bitch...too focused on the way my cock is sliding in and out of this slutty ass hole to even remember her words?"

-Krissy

[fangirl-everythang]

You’re Not Leaving Me J.M

Summary: Y/n wants to leave Jason after he’s neglected her for gang duties. Long story short, she doesn’t. 

Warnings: Aggression, swearing, mentions of gang activities, toxic relationship-ish.

Word Count: A bit less than 1500

Today was the day. I want to leave Jason. We've been together for almost three years now and I can't take it anymore. I love him with all of my heart but he's never home. I'm alone in this relationship and he never notices.

I try to stay up to wait for him to come back from his missions but most nights but he just showers and goes to sleep. I get being The Jason McCann, worlds most wanted is hard, but I feel like I'm in a relationship with a brick wall and it's only hurting me. I know- selfish but it's for the best. He'll probably go back to his playboy days anyways.

Yup could you believe it? Jason used to be with a new girl every night, hell when we met we didn't even like eachother. One thing led to another and here we are,  young and madly in love. Wiping the tear that managed to escape my eye thinking about him. Sitting up because Jason will be home in half an hour give or take,  I can pack now.

I begin tearing the fabric from the hangers reminiscing the good days we had. Going through the drawers looking for my charger I stumble upon a picture of Jase and I. I'll never forget it; It was new year's eve and we were on the roof of Zayn and Lo's place. It was our first year together, we were happy. The photo shows us leaning in almost about to kiss with chaos and fireworks all around us, we did the camera just didn't capture it.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

That's everything.  I set my bags in the kitchen closest to the back door. Awaiting his a rival I just pace a bit while tiding up.

I've been so lonely without him, we barely talk anymore. I'm just there when he needs me. Before he treated me like a princess now I'm equal to his gang members. He's always working late or going out on weekends, I wish I, could, confirm his loyalty busy I have no fucking idea anymore. The ringing of keys at the door distracted me from my previous thoughts.

His face lit up when he saw me "Hey baby" he smiled. It took me by surprise, he hasn't called me baby or in fact any name but the one I was born with in forever. "Hi?" I respond questionly. He just wraps his arms around me and embraced me "I missed you babygirl"

"Are you feeling okay?" I say looking at him. Those eyes, those perfect fucking eyes. The ones that can make my heart flutter with one glance. He looks confused by my question and leans in for a kiss.

If I kiss him I won't want to leave. Christ why does he do this today!

I just doge it by pretending to cough, slowly removing myself from his embrace. "How was your -" "Hold that thought one minute baby I'm just gonna go change really quick I'll be right back"

"But Jase-"

"Right back. " he hurries up the stairs blowing me an air kiss. What the fuck is wrong with him? He suddenly wants to act like a boyfriend that gives a shit.

I waited 20 minutes for Jason to come down stairs, when he didn't I decided to go up. Slowly making my way up what used to be the beautiful steps of our home, I call out his name "Jase?" Reaching the bedroom door I knock but there wasn't a response. Just as I go to open the door it is aggressively pulled open with a not so happy Jason behind it. He's wearing the same clothes. "What happened I thought you were going to change-"

"Shut up" he says lowly.

"What the fuck Jase? "

I'm not scared of him, just his behavior sometimes.

"What the fuck, you tell me y/n," he says with a sinister chuckle. I just look at him confused "So you thought I wouldn't notice your shit missing y/n, what are you trying to do?" I stood there with my arms crossed "Well if you would've let me talk down stairs I would have informed you. "

"INFORM ME ABOUT WHAT Y/N?" He shouts coming closer.

"Jason I can't do this anymore, its, we're not the same" I sigh. He just gets even closer, the vein popping out from the side of his neck. I fidget a bit under his gaze. "So what?  you were just gonna leave? You fucking whore."

"Me a whore, really Jason?! You're unbearable " I yell back my voice straining as I do so. "You're the one who's never home, I don't see you anymore, "

I'm even more frustrated than before, "You know what this isn't worth my time. Good fucking bye Jason" I say turning around but he grabs my arm and yanks me back.

"You're not going anywhere."

"Jase get off of me" I say pulling away from him. His grip just tightens. He harshly pushes me against a wall causing me groan in pain and annoyance, he just looks me dead on the eye. "You're not leaving me. "

I stop fighting back and sigh "Why not? Huh Jase" He doesn't say anything. I just listen to his increased respiration and look at his eyes, they've dilated quite a bit.

"Oh now you wanna be quiet" I say pushing his chest moving past him. "You're pathetic" I spit walking away.

"Y/n wait" he says not turning. Stopping in my tracks I waited for him to continue but after a minute I began descending down the stairs. The memories this place holds will haunt me but I keep reminding myself I need to do this for me. I have too- but he makes me happy or used to at least.

Walking into the living room to pick up my phone, wallet, and keys that are on the table. Leaving Jason is like leaving a piece of me but it's time I make a decision for me, it's gonna hurt but it's for the best. Or at least that's what I keep telling myself.

Walking to the door grabbing my bags and heading out the door loading them into the back of my car. I go back in to make sure I didn't leave anything and Jason is just standing there looking at me. I shift uncomfortably under his gaze but ignore it. "There's food in the fridge and your clothes are done just put them up and u-uhh yeah." He just continues to give me the same blank look. " Jason I don't want us to end on bad terms we can st-" He just looks at me dumbly before I can finish. "Y/n you're really gonna pull that shit on me" I go to speak but he just continued " Three years y/n and you're gonna leave me now. I fucking love you and you're going to leave me. I don't know what to do with myself, I know I'm a shit boyfriend but this is new to me. I need you y/n. My life is not complete without you in it. You're my everything my reason to be here, you make me better in every way." He chokes holding back tears coming closer to me and embracing me , "I'm so sorry baby" he cries into my hair. I just hug him, he needs this. "I know" I coo running my hand through his hair gently letting him calm down. His warm tears flow onto my shirt, I haven't seen Jason break down like this before. He's never cried in front of me. I didn't realize that I was crying until he pulled away to wipe my tears with his thumb. He kisses my forehead and whispers "please don't leave me" I just shake my head "Jase I think th-his will be healthy for us" "Please y/n, I'll try harder , I'll control myself , I'll be better for you. I'll do anything for you y/n" he pleads "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry"

"Jason, I don't -" he interrupts my sentence by smashing his lips on mine. Grasping the back of his neck pulling him closer to me he moves down my neck leaving a trail of wet kisses until he finds my sweet spot. I'm so weak for him. "J-jason" i halfly moan, He just continues to suck and i know exactly what he's doing.

I just let him continue because he wont stop until he’s ready. Running my hands through his hair as he continues his asult on my neck marking me as his. Once he's done he looks to admire his deep purple and red piece of art lightly tracing it he smiles down at me, cupping my cheek. "You're mine, Okay. no one will ever love you like I love you." He softly presses his lips, to mine.

AN:

Hey guys hope you enjoyed it! I know its short,  they get longer I promise. I'm open to anything but im slow as hell. 

ANyways hope your holidays are well. I really think Jason McCann can be played out in so many ways, I cannot wait for you guys to read.

Xoxox-Janelle

[glassartpeasants]

Distraction

Shigaraki x F!Reader

Warnings: Angst, fluff and death

A/N: For the sake of the story you are from a different country other then Japan. I finaly had the damn inspration to finish this. I’m gonna do another one after this, the only reason im posting this is because it was already 2/3 done. No lie though i kinda hate it :/

~~~

“Tomura.” You said in your annoyed voice. Ever since he got that fucking game, he’s been playing it nonstop and has completely ignored you existence.

“Tomura I love you .” Nothing.

“Tomura I’m pregnant.” Nothing.

“I’m breaking up with you.” Still nothing. You weren’t actually gonna break up with him but you wanted at least for him to look in your direction.

You let out a huff and crossed your arms. You were starting to get angry. And thats fair! 

You sit up from your spot on the bed and put on socks and shoes before walking out of his room.

“Miss (y/n), you seem to be frustrated right now. Is it Shigaraki Tomura?” Kurogiri spoke as you sat at the bar contemplating your life choices.

“Ever since he got that dumbass game he’s been ignoring me Kurogiri! He got that game a week ago and has only left his room for food, water and to go to the bathroom. I want to burn the damn thing. He hasn’t even talked to me in 3 days! Not a single peep.” You said anger in your voice but a bit of pain was also noticeable.

“I see. Well in my opinion...get back at him.”

“You mean ignore him like he’s been ignoring me?”

“Preciously.”

“I like the way you think Kurogiri.” And with that you left the hideout.

~~~

You sat on your bed in your own apartment with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in your hand as you watched cooking shows, wishing you could do the same thing.

And then that’s when your phone rang.

You immediately thought it was Shigaraki but only sighed when it was your mother. You put down your sandwich, paused your show and picked up the phone.

“Hey mom, what ya need?”

“I need you to come home.”

“What why?”

“It’s your grandma..” You let out a gasp in shock. Your grandma wasn’t doing well after your grandfather died. She always seemed to be in and out of the hospital. You felt tears prickle the corner of your eyes as you held a hand over your mouth.

“She’s super sick and the doctors think she’s not going to make it much longer. For the sake of seeing her on last time please come home.”

“Of course! I’ll start packing right away!”

“Okay, I’ll call you tomorrow. Love you.”

“Love you too.” And with that you hung up the phone and started packing immediately. You grabbed your suitcases off of your closet shelf and begun frantically putting in clothes and other things.

You opened your computer and booked the next flight to (random country). The flight was going to be in 2 days so you had to make sure everything was ready in that amount of time. The agonizing fear of something happening to your grandma made you forget all about Shigaraki.

~~~

The day of the flight

You look at your phone as you sit at the airport, waiting for you plane to be seated.

“All people going to (random country please start boarding the plane.” You shot up from your seat and immediately walked over towards the boarding area.

Still completely forgetting to tell shigaraki.

~~~

4 days after you left

Shigaraki sighed as the screen turned a colorful hue with the words your won on the screen. After 2 and a half weeks of gruesome playing he finally beat the game.

“Hey (y/n) I finally-” He turned around to look for you so he could tell you his achievement, only to find you were no where in sight.

“-beat it?” He shot up from his chair and walked into the bar his head snapping from left to right in hopes of finding you.

“She’s not here Shigaraki Tomura. She hasn’t been here for about a week.” Kurogiri said as he polished his glasses.

“What do you mean she hasn’t been here in a week?”

“Well considering you were ignoring her for that game you got, my best guess is that she’s at home.” Shigaraki felt anxiety creep up and worry also consuming his body. What if you realized you were way out of his league and dumped him. He only sighed as he grabbed his sweatshirt and made his way over to your house.

~~~

The weather was slowly getting worse and worse by the minute. He oh so wished he would have checked it before going outside considering he was now drenched from the pounding rain.

 He let out at sigh of relief once he saw your car in the driveway of your home. At least you would be there so he could apologize.

He went up to your door and did the secret knock you both had for each other.

Nothing. He did it again.

Nothing.

Shigaraki started to tremble a bit as he took the key fro under your place mat and opened the door only to see no signs of you being there. 

He looked high and low trying to find you with no success. He finally went to your room to find almost all of your clothes gone your bed unmade, and a single piece of paper on your nightstand.

He grabbed said paper with two finger only to feel his heart drop right out of his chest.

‘Leave at 9am tomorrow for (random country)’

So you really did leave him huh? Shigaraki dug his phone out of his pocket and went to call you only to realize that you had shut your phone off. His hands shook as all his fingers touched the phone causing it to crack and decay.

“She’ll be back! It’ll be okay Shigaraki..” Shigaraki told himself as he hugged himself falling to his knees silently prayed you would come back and not leave him all alone.

~~~

The days went by as you sat by your grandma holding her hand as you teared up.

“No need to cry (y/n), I’ll be okay.” Your grandma said to you smiling weakly. You put her hand to your forehead and just held it there.

You couldn’t help the tears streaming down your eyes as you saw them fall to the ground.

“Do you have someone you love (y/n)?” Her question startled you as your tear stained eyes look at her.

“I remember your mother talking to me about a guy you met who you said you were absolutely in love with. But you haven’t spoken a word about him since you came here.” You never told your mother Shigaraki’s name but you did tell her how madly in love with him.

“We’re having some issues right now... but lets not talk about that. Lets try to focus on happy things.”

“Sweetie, things happen. Everything will turn out alright i promise.” You looked at her through tear stained eyes as you held her hand a bit tighter.

Thats when you heard the beeping.

You look up at the heart monitor and saw the flat-line. You started crying profusely as you were taken out of the room while they tried to get her heart back up. But it was too late.

You cried out to your grandma before being taken by the hand by your mother and pulled into a constricting hug causing you to let out more tears.

~~~

You stayed at your home country for another week before setting off to Japan again. You wanted to stay longer but the pain you felt in your chest was too painful to stay there as everything reminded you of her.

~~~

You open you apartment door and close it with a sigh only to see that your apartment was completely trashed.

“WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK!” First your grandma died and now your house was robbed? 

You were shaking in anger and sadness as you fell to your knees, hugging yourself for comfort as you saw your tears making a little wet spot on the carpet below.

You take out your phone to call your friend only to see a number you haven’t seen in awhile.

Tomu <3

Your eyes widen as you look at his number realizing he had been trying to contact you almost ever since you left a month ago. You slap yourself remembering that you haven’t even texted him that whole time cause you were to focused on your grandma that you completely forgot about him.

You felt terrible.

“Oh my god! I haven’t even tried to text or call him! Oh no my poor Tomu...” Which only gave you another reason to cry.

You picked up the phone and pressed his contact to start a call. Your shaky hands holding the phone to your ear waiting to be cussed out and waiting to be dumped. It was only fair. You left for a month and never even told him where you were going.

Almost in a instant the phone was picked up and on the other side you heard hiccuping and a watery voice.

“(Y/N)...is that you?” His gravely voice asked.

“Im so sorry for not contacting you! I-” Before you could finish a purple warp gate showed up in your apartment right in front of you before shigaraki jumped out and tackled you to the ground. The warp gate closing behind him.

Shigaraki grabbed your face leaving dozens of kisses of your tear stained cheeks before hugging you. Bringing you close to his chest as he snuggled his face in your shoulder crying into it.

“I thought y-you left m-me...” He sobbed into your shoulder. You hug him back running your hand over his shaking figure.

“I’m so sorry baby...I..My grandmother died and i turned off my phone so i could focus on her. I should have told you. I was just so worried and...” You cried, both of you hugging one another as if your life depended on it.

“I’m sorry for ignoring you when i got my game...” He whispered as he peppered your neck in kisses.

“Im sorry for not telling you.” You sighed peacefully as you ran your hands through his hair as you try to calm him.

“Just please don’t leave me again...I don’t think i could handle it...”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

[megbaby]

Thank You.

Pairings: Bakugou x reader

Summary: In the middle of a fight Bakugou hurts you.

Word count: 1066 (i didnt mean to do it so long, my feelings took over)

Angst to fluff kinda

tw: verbal fight, physical injury (burn).

A/N: This is like headcanons but kinda like a fic? I really dont know is my first post, bare with me please. Also, English is not my first language so if you find some grammar errors, im sorry. Now, enjoy :)

Maybe I would make a part 2, who knows.

You both were fighting about Bakugou being jealous. You didnt stand when he got super jealous for tiny things, like talking to a middle school friend that he doesnt know about, or trying out clothes in a store and asking help to the store clerk (you are asking for help because he didnt want to help you trying out your clothes).

You always know when he's jealous because he's just silent all the way home. No grunts, no angry tongue clicking and no "tch"s.

When you arrived home, he just storms out of the car and go inside. You try to calm yourself down because having to fight with your angry pomeranian was not easy.

You enter to the living and he is just sitting tapping his knee very fast. He just says "What you were talking to them" when he says that, he's not even looking at you.

"Baby, it was nothing, that was a middle school friend that I missed a lot" you tried to clarify. "First, why I dont know about them. Second, they was very touchy with you. I dont like that." He speaks again, with a serious and cold tone.

"They just hugged me, and you dont need to know everything about my life before meeting you" you said with a slight hard tone "Yes i fucking do" At this point you were starting to get a bit angry, but you stayed calm.

"And with that stupid store clerk, tch, they just wanted to give you the sluttiest fucking clothes to see you almost naked." you were confused. "Excuse me? You were the one who said that you didnt wanted to waste your time helping me with 'trying stupid clothes'. I really dont understand, I dont stand your jealously, it is so dumb to fight over small things like that" you said with a mocking voice.

"Dumb?! YOU are the dumb one, YOU ARE SEEKING FOR FUCKING ATTENTION LIKE A BITCH IN HEAT" you were hurted with those words coming from your boyfriend, and decided to calm down and tried to calm him down spoiler alert, it didnt worked. "Hey, hey, calm down please you are yelling" you tried to reach for his arm and when you slightly touched him, he lets an explosion erupt from his hand on your forearm while he yelled "DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME YOU BITCH".

The explosion was medium range so you fell on your ass and then you started to feel your arm sting. You went to look at you arm and saw a big red burn; it was starting to hurt like a mothertrucker so you started crying.

Meanwhile Bakugou didnt even turned to look at you, until he heard your sobs. His expression changed the moment he heard you crying, he turned to you and his heart broke into a thousand pieces when he saw your arm, red and burned from the explosion.

He instantly regrets everything he just said to you, and he also regrets the explosion. He can't believe what he have done, he hurt you, you were crying in pain, because of him.

Immediately he went to help you out, to help you stand up, to try and treat your arm. "Hey babe, bae, princess/prince im sorry, im so sorry. I- I didnt mean it" he went to grab your arm, you flinch from him and you move away from him. Again, if his heart was already broke into pieces, those tiny pieces broke again; you moving away from him because he hurt you? Yes, that made him feel EVEN more bad and guilty.

"Dont- sobs dont come closer to me", you said, between tears. Bakugou's eyes started to water from your statement. You stand up from the floor, take your keys, your bag and opened the door. He saw what you were doing and started panicking. "Hey honey, where- where are you going?" He started to cry "Please dont leave, I want to take care of you baby, please forgive me. Dont- dont go, please."

You saw him, and you left him crying on the living room.

You didnt know what to do, you were with a burned arm and you just wanted to get out of you and Bakugou's shared apartment, you wanted to relax and meditate. After you took your time thinking, like 2 hours later; you went to a friends house, they treated your arm and you cried on their shoulder for like 2 more hours.

Meanwhile you were taking your time, Bakugou was so worried 1) it was very late, 2) you didnt answer his text because you turned you mobile data off.

You decided it was time to go home. When you arrived Bakugou was still on the living room. He lifted his head so fast when he heard the door opnening. You didnt say a word, while he was happy you returned but, he was still sad. "Hey babe-" he couldnt finish his sentence because you walked straight to the bathroom. He sat on the couch about to cry, again.

You decided to take a bubble bath, to try and relax more; but you started crying because you remembered the fight and you were very very sad. Bakugou was peaking from the bedroom and heard you crying, obviously, he started crying too.

When you got out from the tub, you put your pjs on and went to the kitchen to make some tea. Bakugou came to the kitchen and you said to him "I am going to sleep on the guest room" he definitely didnt want that, "No, no please let me sleep with you, please. I need you, I want to be near you, Im so sorry y/n , Im really sorry" He begged you.

Your heart sank when you saw him in that state, you have never seen him like this, it was very sad to you. Even tho he said you all those hurtful things and burned your arm you couldnt say no to him, so you just gave him a low voiced "ok" and went to drink your tea.

This time, you didnt cuddle, but he was so happy and felt calm when he saw your sleeping face and the fact that you agreed to sleep with him.

Before he drifted to sleep, he just whispered a very lovely...

"Thank you."

I hope you liked this, is my first time writing so I think is not that good but okat :)

-Meg <3

[marsandsaturn]

Can I ask for an ansty one-shot with aizawa, where he has to choose over the reader or one of his friends, and the reader conforts him, could be dirty or not

NOOOOOOO YOU CAN’T MAKE ME, I REFUSE.....JK IM GONNA DO IT BECAUSE ITS AIZAWA BUT GOD I AM GOZING TO CRIIIII. Gender: Female Reader but it actually seems like a Gender Neutral  Warnings: Angst, Fluff

Shota Aizawa. Not as known Endeavour or All might, but he is known if you are a fan of underground heroes. You were a super fan of underground Heroes, and luckily for you one of classes, you had to write as essay on a Pro-Hero. While other choose the top 20s or top 10 you chose your favorite Hero. Eraserhead. You had gotten a 100 on that essay, and usually when you do good on a essay for go to your favorite Coffee, Tea, or Boba, place, so that is what you did. What you didn’t expect was that the Pro-Hero was also at that place. You had literally ran into him and fell on your butt. Of course this old man,,,Elizabeth he’s like 31 calm down he’s not that old,,,would fall in love with a senior in college.  Now you were a successful(the career you want in real life apply hear) and dating the Pro-Hero Eraserhead. The first two years were good, lots of cuddling, and hanging out at each other’s apartment. Eventually meeting his class was eventful. Lets just say your favorite students were, Hitoshi Shinsou and Shoto Todoroki, but that’s a secret only for you. But after two years a rough patch began to form. You see, you tended to get attached to people because of your mommy and daddy issues, but I am not going into detail about thats, so you weren’t often trying to be wit Aizawa as much as you can. And although he didn’t mind hanging out with you, he would have liked to hang out with his friends, specifically, Mic and Midnight. So the three of them went out to the club tonight, Midnight’s idea. You on the other hand were a bit upset that you weren’t invited but you pride wouldn’t never let you tell Aizawa how you feel, you stayed in your bed watching anime because why not. But that’s not when you snapped. One night he decided to go out again with his friends, and then another night, and another night, but those nights never bothered you. It was went he had promised the two of you to go out on a date, but instead you saw Aizawa on Mic’s Private story at a club instead of in his car on his away to pick you up. You snapped. You fell to the ground crying and hugging you knees. This is silly. It was okay that he forgot, it will only be one night. This was not going to be only one night, he hates you, you ask for too much, you can’t do things by yourself, he’s gonna leave you. No no Shota would never leave me, he promised, and he has never broken his promises. He broke one tonight. The devil and the angel in your head kept arguing as you dragged yourself out of the apartment. What were you going to do? Confront him like those girls you have seen all over Instagram. Why? Because you knew that you were going to drive him away, you always did. When you arrived, the three of them exited the club on their way to a fast food restaurant, when Midnight saw you. “Zawa isn’t that Y/N?” He turned his head and spotted you looking towards the grounds with your phone in your hand, looking through a bunch of pictures, but not of him, but of people who left you, you never deleted them because you had gotten to attached and didn’t want to delete them. His eyes widen when he realized the two of you had a date tonight. He called out your name you looked up, but tears began to run down your face as soon as you looked into his eyes. He walked towards you and grabbed your arm but you pulled away. “What did I do Shota? Please just answer this? Every time I ask someone this they never answer and try to ignore the question. I just wanna know, what I am doing wrong with each relationship of friendship I had.” You were sobbing at this point, but he pulled the two of you into a alleyway, “What do you mean?” “I have never wanted to be one of those girls, but I can’t take it anymore, not when I am in pain. Why do you chose them every time. I understand that they were there before me but you have been hanging out then them more than me. I haven’t even been in your arms in a month. I just want to love you, kiss you, cuddle you, have dinner with you, maybe lunch or breakfast. I just want you, but I probably did something wrong for you to not want to be around me anymore, fuck, please tell me what I did or am doing wrong so I can either fix it or leave” Shota was a mess, but not as much as you. Most people would have an explanation as to why they were hanging out with their friends more then their s/o but he didn’t have one. Not without giving it away. He wanted to do this on your birthday in your apartment but he didn’t know how much longer he could last. But he understood your pain. He knew the question you were asking, and he had an answer. “Y/N you have done nothing wrong, yes I forgot about tonight’s date, my love, I didn’t want to do this hear and especially in this situation but I can’t loose you. The day you told me about what you wanted to be I truly fell in love. I’m sorry I caused you all this pain”  He bends down to touch your forehead with yours. He loved you too much. This man was whipped for you, or as Denki would state, a simp for you. He loved everything about you from the little things you do when your focused, to the 3 am adventures through the city that you post of your 3 am with Y/N private story that he watched while on patrol. He loved when you would try to cook but fail and almost burn down the apartment, and he loved whenever you would bake, because your baking was the best. He closes his eyes before removing his forehead that was against your and moves his lips towards your quivering ones. Both of your lips were soft, but yours tasted with vanilla with caramel, and his tasted like peppermint, a chapstick you bought him for when the holidays were around. He decided to put the chapstick on again now that it was November and holidays were coming up. He knew you loved when his lips tasted like peppermint. In this moment, you felt safe, you felt like you were home, which was something you haven’t felt in a while. You missed the softness of his hair, the way he looked at you, the way your heart missed a beat whenever he was around, the way he would lay in your arms after a long day, the way the two of you were sit in the bath with bubbles, or when the two of you would watch movies together, or how you two would just read together. “Y/N marry me” The man with the scar under his eye asked, You were shocked. This perfect man wanted to marry you. He wanted to marry a mess that was called Y/N. He wanted to marry you, out of all the people he chose you.

You began to tear up and give him a hug which he returned with a kiss to your forehead. He didn’t care how messed up you were, he wanted you for you. He knew from the moment he met you but didn’t accept that he wanted to marry you until you became successful in your career. “Shota” You called out his name. He pulled back away from the hug and looked at your face. HIs face was filled with love, but not just any love. It was love for you, it was love for the love of his life, his Y/N, “Can we have a June Wedding?”  “Y/N is that a reference to the Vampire Diaries” ‘How’d you know Sho?” He laughed. But he knew that you accepted his proposal. He knew that you want him to be your husband as he wanted you to be his wife. “Actually I’d like a winter wedding because summer weddings suck and I have a list why” You began as he chuckled and kissed you one more time before leading you out the allyway. As soon as the two of you wanted out, Mic and Midnight began to cheer. Of course they were there to witness his proposing to you, they were his best friends after all.

“I love you Sho” “I love you too baby”

Author’s Note: I cried like twice TWICE. I wrote this and I made myself cry. Now I am not saying this is good but I hope it was to your satisfaction :) Please request more stuff like his I really enjoy these. Also sorry if there as any spelling mistakes or grammar mistakes I was in a rush to write this as I have assignments due in a few hours sooo. Enjoy ! :) To make are request click here!

[bitch-im-your-biggest-nightmare]

Parenting 200!

Hey people, its ya boy, the bitch. I’m making another one of these cuz someone asked and YES.  Corpse Husband x Son yes.  Tags: @save-the-sky @alilshit @whatifwedo @hughugh20@fleurmoon @bi-andready-tocry @itsminniekat @yoongi-holland@loraleiix @hacker-ghost @fanworrior @marvelous-musicals @annshit @unknown-and-invisible @letsloveimagines @babyhoneystvles 

--------------------------

--------------------------

--------------------------

Corpse was running some errands (which he really didn’t wanna do) with Tyler (that's what we calling him)- his son. Y/N was home relaxing and doing her thing, she already did enough. She cleaned the entire house, woke up early to make them both an amazing breakfast, did the laundry, and made sure Corpses office space was nice and well kept so he could be in a nice area to record and stream. Corpse told Y/N that she needed to get some rest when she said she needed to go out to run some errands- he also made the mistake of deciding to bring a literal toddler around with him.  

Now don’t him wrong- He loved Tyler more than he loved himself, but Tyler can be a little shit sometimes. This child has gotten into a rainbow of different substances. 

Vaseline.  “What the hell- what is that- what is that on your face?” Corpse asked, though he already knew. “Baseline.” They said, rubbing their hands together. 

Coconut butter.  “You know better than this Tyler! Now you look all shiney!” Corpse said as he washed coconut butter off of Tyler. “Iz fun.” Tyler replied while Corpse just let out an exasperated sigh.

Baby powder.  “Tyler what the hell!-” Corpse yelled as he walked in and saw Tyler pouring baby powder down his pants. Tyler looked up at him and said “go way.” ANd when Corpse just stared and then Tyler yelled, “go WAY!”  Cake. “Sweetie! That was for your father!” Y/N said as she saw Tyler sitting on the ground shoving his face with chocolate cake. His hands were covered in it and his mouth was a mess. Tyler looked at her innocently and said “Izs mine!” Corpses clothes.  Corpse walked into the closet to put some brand new hoodies away when he saw none other than Tyler chilling there covered in Corpses clothes. It was a mess. Corpe just stared and shut the closet door, not wanting to deal with that just yet. Y/Ns clothes.  Y/N walked into the closet to see the mess. Tyler was putting on her heals and wearing her scarfs. She sighed and took a picture of a very surprised Tyler. Then she went to go yell at Corpse. Deodorant.  “No no no no no NO NO NO!” Y/N yelled as she pulled the deodorant away from Tyler's hands. He was crushing it all up and smearing it on the floor. “It smell gud.” Tyler said innocently as he was picked up.  Soap.  “Tyler no no no! Take that out of your mouth!” Y/N screamed as she saw Tyler put dish soap in his mouth. She panicked and immediately told him to spit it out. Not even a second later Corpse came tripping into the room asking what the hell happened.   Y/Ns pads. “Tyler no-” Corpse said as he wheezed. Tyler was sticking Y/Ns period pads onto his body. “They stickers!” Tyler laughed, opening another one. Corpse fell onto the floor in sheer laughter, not being able to breathe. Corpses Stream. Corpse left to take a quick pee while he was streaming with his friends. While he was gone, Tyler snuck into his office and joined in as a replacement. “Haii” Tyler said, causing laughter. “Whos this?” Sykkuno asked. They all knew Corpse was a father but never heard anything else about him. “Tyver.” Tyler said, making everyone nearly cry from the cuteness. When Corpse came back, he sighed and took his headset away. “Uhm-” Corpse was cut off, “HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING PUT TYVER BACK ON!” 

They were all memories. Some good, most bad. None in the middle. He was currently in the store grabbing some things for Y/N. She got her period like just this morning and she was running out of pads so he needed to cop some of those and the more important things. Every female reading this oneshot who has gotten their period will understand the following. He threw oreo cookies, red velvet oreo cookies, hershey's chocolate chip cookies, more cookies, two whole bags of snickers, three whole bags of kit kats, chocolate milk, and a chocolate cake into the cart. Then lastly, he awkwardly strolled into the feminine product isle where two other females were. Tyler was jumping around looking at everything and Corpse was avoiding eye contact. 

One of the girls looked at his cart, looked at him, looked at Tyler, looked at the cart, and back at him and said “She hit it hard didn’t she?” 

Corpse looked at her and sighed, “Yeah...” then he picked out the kind he always saw in the bathroom and then dragged Tyler away and out of the isle. 

“Nooo! Im still looking!” Tyler whined. 

“Well you’re done looking.” Corpse said, walking up to the check out area and checking his stuff out himself. He already felt enough anxiety today so all he really wanted to do was go home and cuddle with Y/N and watch Shrek for the fifthteenth time with Tyler. 

After he bagged everything he pushed the cart out of the store and towards their car. Tyler was jumping around again and being a little shit, so Corpse had to pick him up and hold him and load groceries into the car one handed. Painful. After loading the groceries he set Tyler down and went to bring the cart back. 

On his way back, Tyler latched himself onto Corpses leg and cried. Good lord. “I want icereeeeem!” Tyler whined as Corpse sighed, dragging him around. 

“Tyler we already spent enough! Mom will share some of her food!” Corpse said, tugging Tyler off of his leg like a cat and walking him to the car. Tyler kept complaining and screaming, but Corpse did his best not to listen. But while driving home, the screaming got worse, and Corpse gave in. 

“FINE DAIRY QUEEN IT IS!” Corpse yelled, immediately apologizing for yelling. Then he took a sharp turn and headed to DQ to get this toddler an icecream cone (And Y/N an oreo blizzard, but don't tell). He really didn’t wanna pull into the drive thru, but his anxiety said indoors is worse so he pulled into the line. It was November so Corpse did not understand why there was so many people in the line. Corpse sighed, trying to ignore Tylers whining. “I know it’s long and annoying but we have to wait Tyler.” 

“I want icecreeeemm!” Tyler whined, and Corpse began to grow frustrated. He loved Tyler, but he really wanted to get home. Y/N was probably scrunched up in agony with her period pains and when he gets home shes gonna be fucking dead. Yes you heard me. Dead. Corpse didn’t want to go to court for being blamed of his girlfriend's death. 

During the wait he actually got a call from Y/N. He instantly picked it up, saying hello. 

“Where are you?!” Y/N complained. She was hungry, in pain, and worried. Corpse and Tyler should’ve been home an hour ago. But instead they were stuck in a DQ drive thru. 

“Dairy Queen. Tyler wants an icecream cone.” Corpse sighed, “He’s been a pain the ass so far...” 

“He’s always a pain in the ass but we love him.” Y/N chuckled, “Can you get me a cookie dough blizzard?” 

“Oh. Ok.” Corpse was surprised. Y/N always went for that legendary oreo blizzard. Guess he’ll get it for himself then. “Are you feeling ok?”

“Mmm no. Periods suck. Men will never feel real pain.” Y/N groaned, and Corpse rolled his eyes playfully. 

“Say that next time people are calling me sus in Among Us.” Corpse laughed, “Oh- I gotta go, this lines finally moving.” 

“Ok, bye love you~” Y/N said. 

“Love you too.” Corpse said before hanging up. He got up to the speaker and breathed in, trying to order his food without getting nervous. Social anxiety sucks, I don’t recommended having social anxiety. He stuttered a little, but it wasn’t too bad. When he got his food, he quickly got the fuck out of there and zoomed back to his place.

When he got to a stop light, he handed Tyler his ice cream cone. Almost immediately he began to chow down, his teeth didn’t even seem sensitive at this moment. It impressed Corpse. His boy was something else. 

When he finally made it home, he had many things to do. He got Tyler out of the car safely and picked up all the bags full of food with one arm. On the other, he held Tyler and the ice cream. From there, he made his way into apartment building like a goddamn champ. Sure, he was in pain, sure his muscles were gonna burst, but this, this guys, is what real men do. He is a super dad, he will do what no man ever dares to do.

People were looking at him, it made him uncomfortable. He was glad the apartment had elevadors. Tyler kept eating his ice cream loudly, which made Corpses pain ever worse. When he finally got to the door, he lifted his already weakened arm and turned the doorknob, shoving himself into the room. 

“Honey I’m home!” Corpse said tiredly, dropping the bags on the floor and lightly setting Tyler down. He walked over to the living room, seeing Y/N laying in a mess of blankets and pillows on the floor. She was wearing one of Corpses hoodies that were way too big on her. She looked distressed, but when Corpse put a cookie dough blizzard in front of her, she looked up and took it. 

“You look like a mess.” Y/N laughed, sitting with her legs crossed and beginning to eat.

“I’ve had a long day.” Corpse chuckled and sat next to Y/N in the mess. “Tyler seemed to have fun I guess.” 

“What do you mean I guess?” Y/N chuckled into her words.

“Oh you know how Tyler is baby.” Corpse took a big bite of his blizzard, “I bought everything you will need for a week.” 

“Great!” Y/N leaned in and kissed Corpse on the cheek. Corpse blushed a little, but smiled. Next thing they know, they are cuddling against each other and eating their blizzards. This was the only way to make Y/N happy while she was on her period. 

Then heard a loud crash.

“waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!” 

“God fuckin’ damNI-”

[marktuansvevo]

baby fever

warnings; sexual content, slight cursing, lapslock, jinyoung is a gentleman

word count; just under 1,500

author’s note; im back with a little jinyoung fic!! i’m on week 12 of the semester so once the holidays roll around im going to try to be more active on here ♡ (also, if you want to check out my masterlist, you can find it here!)

you were putting yourself in a bad mood.

plain and simple.

it all started when jinyoung had accompanied you to your mother’s house for a family get together - your nephew’s 7th birthday party. it was hard getting over to your family home alone, nonetheless with your boyfriend. three of his castmates had gotten a stomach bug from a fancy restaurant they went to, so the whole crew got a weekend off. it was perfect timing for the two of you to enjoy a weekend off together  at your family home.

the two of you mingled with your extended family, your family being more intrigued with jinyoung than with you. you couldn’t blame them - being in an actor was so much more exciting than being a sleep deprived college student. you absentmindedly listened to him tell stories from when he was on set that you’ve heard a million times. you didn’t mind, but he was always scared he was boring you, so he squeezed your hand as a way of saying thank you.

it wasn’t just all about him, though. jinyoung would always praise you about the grades you were earning; “did you know y/n got a 102% on her latest exam? she really is the smartest woman I know,” he would praise, making you blush as your relatives congratulated you.

you sat by jinyoung at the dinner table, feeling so at home. you knew he belonged with you. in years prior, you had always felt funny bringing significant others into your house — none of them ever fitting in right. now, sitting at the dinner table as your father laughed at one of jinyoung’s joke, you had never felt so complete.

you loved him so much.

dinner was over shortly, your nephew, siwoo, getting antsy waiting to open his presents. “auntie!!” he giggled. “come sit with me and read the cards.”

“siwoo, you’re a big boy now, you can’t read?” you teased him as you let him climb into your lap, handing the presents to him.

“this one is from you!!” he squealed, tearing the iron man bag open and yelling in surprise at the iron man costume, all your relatives giggling at him. “can I put it on??”

“sure, baby, after you open the rest of the presents!”

“oh yeah!” you giggled at him, looking over at your boyfriend who was taking pictures of you with siwoo. he winked when he realized you were staring.

the evening was winding down, a couple of your other younger cousins, siwoo, jinyoung and yourself were hanging out in the sunroom, watching iron man 3. siwoo sat in jinyoung’s lap (so you almost died of had a heart attack of cuteness). you giggled as your boyfriend dozed off, taking a picture of him to embarrass him...or maybe for your lock screen.

“jinyoung,” you cooed. “why don’t we get going?”

“what?? you guys can’t go??” siwoo groaned, his eyelashes pooling with tears. you frowned, you knew how tired the poor baby was.

“siwoo, honey don’t cry. me and uncle will be back tomorrow morning. hey, jinnie, im gonna go get my purse.”

“okay,” he kissed you, making the poor birthday boy wail harder.

“i hate you, jinyoung,” siwoo cried. not going to lie, that hurt, jinyoung thought to himself.

“hey, now what would auntie think if you heard you said that to me? she’d be so disappointed, sweetheart,” siwoo frowned, and muttered a small but sincere sorry. “it’s okay, siwoo.”

“its just that, grandma says you take auntie y/n away from us. that she doesn’t have time for us because she’s with you,” jinyoung didn’t think his feelings could be hurt anymore than earlier when the boy admitted his hatred for him, but kids were honest. it was` brutal. it hurt him because he knew your mother was saying this in front of your cousins, and very impressionable nephews.

“well, siwoo, did you know that your auntie,” he pauses for dramatic effect and lowers his voice. “did you know she works for iron man? and, as iron mans number one fan, you know they have very busy schedules right? y/n has to travel, all the while saving the world. does that make sense?” siwoo nods his head, eyes as big as saucers, taking in the information. “when I grow up, I want to be just like auntie!!”

jinyoung didn’t even know you were lingering in the doorframe, listening to his conversation. your heart and tummy were flooded with adoration for this man. no one else in the world could handle being verbally stomped on by a seven year old quite like jinyoung could.

you left, bidding siwoo a happy birthday, promising to come back in the morning, kissing your relatives goodbye as well.  

the car ride home was met with comfortable silence, you staring out the window at the night sky and wondering how the hell you got so lucky.

you were going to pounce on him tonight.

as soon as you got into the hotel, you kissed him, soft and tender. “you’re so perfect, jinyoung,” you purred. his cheeks flamed up. “you know exactly how to work a room, but you never make it about yourself. a seven year old says he hates you and you take it in stride.”

“that actually made me want to cry,” he chuckled, letting you kiss him again.

“you’re perfect. i don’t know how i got so lucky....i love you so much, jinyoung,” his eyes softened.

“i love you too, baby...let me show you how much.”

your perfect boyfriend whisked you into the suite and onto the queen sized bed, taking his time removing your clothes. it was slow and passionate at first, and then became more feral, jinyoung whispering sweet nothings in your ear as he pounded into you, making you cry out. it was quite the contradiction, but it was delicious and you loved it. “y..y/n, i need to cum baby,” he warned as he was about to pull out. the two of you were too excited to be going on a weekend trip together that you forgot to bring condoms. sure, you were on birth control, but with his acting schedule and you still in your master’s program, it just wasn’t the right time for a baby.

jinyoung was about to pull out when you wrapped your legs around his torso, keeping him in you. “cum in me, jinyoung, please,” you begged him, smiling when he obeyed your request, moaning into your shoulder as he rode out his orgasm. he went limp against your body.

“i love you,” he muttered before falling fast asleep. you giggled, letting him doze off while laying on you. you didn’t mind, you wouldn’t be up much longer, anyways.

~

you woke up before jinyoung, pushing his sticky body off of you. he smiled, kissing your face. “you’re still afterglowing,” he mused. “my baby is the prettiest.”

“and you’re the most handsome,” you giggled. he smiled. “did you bring your birth control, baby? i can’t believe we forgot condoms.”

you stayed silent. his comment pissed you off for some reason. your smile was long gone. “because that would be the worst thing in the world, knocking me up?? god, jinyoung you can be so insensitive,” you cried as you sat up in bed, facing away from him.

“hey, y/n....what did i do?”

“you’re so fucking mean, jinyoung,” you were crying now, burying your face in your hands.

“why are you so upset with me, baby? i can’t help you if you wont tell me,” he said gently.

you did not deserve this man.

“I...i want our own siwoo, jinyoung. i want a mini jinyoung moving around in my belly. i want you to give me a baby, jinnie,” you were crying into his chest now.

“oh...baby...i can give you a baby...but i thought we agreed it’s too soon?” his eyes were as big as saucers now. “hey...talk to me baby.”

“i just want to be done with school. i want to get our lives going. i feel like im slowing us down. i just want a family with you. you are my family.”

“oh, honey...don’t wish our lives away. you’re right where you’re supposed to be. you’re not slowing anything down....hey look at me,” you did. “everything will fall into place. i will give you all the babies you want, love, okay? i love our future children, but i want to enjoy our time together, okay?”

“i know you’re right i know...i was literally blinded with baby fever seeing you with siwoo last night.”

“you’re going to be the best mommy, honey. look at this picture of the two of you,” he showed you his lockscreen — a candid of you with your nephew in your lap with your head thrown back in laughter. “you’re my whole world, y/n.” he smiled sincerely. “now, let’s go day drinking at your mom’s house!”

[tpwksammy]

Niall Horan one shot

It's been a month since I've seen anyone. A whole month has passed since the boys have left for a new mission. I miss them more than explainable but my body misses them more. The way its always pulsated so hard I have to clench my thighs around everyone.

It's been a month of no sex and attention and im running mad. There's only so much you can do for yourself until it just doesn't feel the same.

I miss their voices whispering dirty things in my ear and the heaving breaths of their deep moans.

Laying on my bed looking at the ceiling my chest begins to heave up and down. Closing my eyes all I can think about is Niall. The way he would play poker and press his hands to my skin when no one was watching. When I would slip away to go to the washroom and he would pick the lock to pin me against the wall fucking me senseless.

"Oh god." I clench my thighs together as my centre pounds against me.

I can't do this anymore. I can't do this by myself. I'm going insane. Pressing my hands to my thighs squeezing my skin for dear life I think about his tongue and all the profanities he would spell on my clit.

How he would watch me in the shadows following my every move so hung up on me. Arching my back whimpering I bring my hand up to rest over my chest palming my braless area. Shifting my thighs over each other I create a friction that is no help at all.

A month since I've felt a dick inside of me pounding until I saw the stars. I missed him and the way he knew my body inside out. His length hit places I didn't even know could reach.

His body hunched over mine speaking awful things to me as my climax built. When we were playing around with each other and he fucked me twenty times pulling out each time before I met my high. It was pure torture but when he finally let me cum I was brought into another dimension. I couldn't breathe or move as my orgasm ripped right through me.

Shifting my hips up on the bed I look around my darkroom that used to be filled with so much heat and lust.

"Fuck I can't do this anymore." I cry out weakly into the pitch-black room. Palming my breasts under my shirt I reach over the bed crawling to the dresser. Wrapping my hands around my phone I breathe so heavy it fogs up the screen.

Hitting my password in my phone the screen shines brightly and I press the call button as I clench my thighs so tight I swear it's only turning me on more.

Clicking his name I press the phone to my ear and squeeze my eyes as it rings. "Please pick up," I whine and suddenly the ringing stops and a deep voice calls over the loud voices of a party.

"Sugar you alright-"

"Niall." I moan into the phone interrupting his happy tone. Panting I sense his back straighten.

"Violet what are you doing?" He calls deeply and I sense the hunger in his voice. I know it's been long for him too. He only knows my body and can't stand the way he feels with other girls. He texts me all the time while he's getting off.

Whether he's in the shower with the water blasting down or in the back room at the Casino until his hard breaths shout into the phone.

"Niall I-" I pant out hardy and whimper, pressing my thighs together. "I need you."

"Violet where are you right now?" He demands in a hard tone that has my back arching.

"Im laying in your bed trying to get myself off." Crying out through the empty house he growls through the phone before I hear him push through the crowd.

"Fuck Violet dont do anything until I tell you to." With my hands pressed right to my underwear I drag it upwards and my tights snap back in place.

"You have one minute," I beg squirming my legs together.

"Touch yourself before I tell you and Ill fuck that little cunt of yours so hard against the door you'll be begging for me to stop."

"Fuck." I curse grabbing the pillow I'm laying on and pressing in between my legs for more pressure. Grinding my hips against the soft material I slap my hand against my mouth screaming from the pressure against my centre.

"Jesus christ Violet." A chant of grunts leaves his lips until I hear a car door slam shut. Listening to his firm body hit the leather seats of his car another grunt passes as he undoes his heavy belt buckle that clicks aggressively.

"Hey Sugar?" Niall's chest heaves as I choke down my cries. "What are you wearing?"

Squeezing the top of the pillow I swallow down moans, "Just my tights and one of your shirts."

He hums into the phone seductively. "Wish I could see that perfect little ass for myself but you're just going to have to moan louder for me. Take off your clothes."

"Okay." I pant at his weakness. Taking the phone from my ear I turn it on speaker and place it beside my body.

Peeling the pillow away from my body might have been the hardest thing I've ever done. The pounding comes right back to my centre and I let out a whine.

"Sugar if you start crying like that I'm going to have to punish you when I get home. Clothes off. now." demanding I press my hands to my tights and peel it quickly off my body. The coldness of the room sticks to my skin in relief and I swallow down my moans. Taking off his shirt my bare chest is exposed to the room and my large breasts spill out into my warm hands.

Keeping my wet underwear on I crawl back down to the bed laying down. "What about you, what do you have on?"

"My dicks out right in my hand baby. All the naughty little things you do to me has me so hard for you."

Arching my back he continues breathlessly. "What colour panties you have on naughty girl."

"R-red. Just like the time you fucked me with your fingers under the casino table." I barely can get the words out.

"Fuck." Through the phone, his breaths go staggered and a loud moan cuts his words when he starts pumping himself. "Take them off for me and tell me just how wet you are."

Pressing my hands to my red lace underwear I slide it down my body and kick it to the floor. Dragging my hands up the inside of my thigh I press it to my slick folds. Drawing upwards my pool of wetness coats my fingers. Pressing my finger to my clit my hips shift upwards in shock from the cry it's been giving me.

"Oh Niall wish you were here I need you to fuck me so bad I can't take it anymore." Rubbing my clit in circles, my naked body grows in an intense fire.

"Are you touching yourself?" his voice goes delicate and I sense the crookedness of his face as he pumps his shaft.

"Y-yes."

"Just like I showed you?"

Pressing my fingers hard to my clit in a circle my wetness coats my fingers as a slick lube increasing my speed.

"Violet, you need to use your words, are you doing it as I showed you?"

"Yes, baby. In circles like you said. Wish it was you though I can't take this anymore." Whining into the phone I shift my hips into my hands.

"Fuck Violet dont say things like that when im halfway across the country. Give me a week and Ill come back and fuck you like the little whore you are."

Rubbing my clit side to side my hips buckle down to the bed and dig into the soft sheet. "Touch your chest. Squeeze them hard just like I always do."

Slapping my hand to my chest my other works against my nerves as I massage my breast deeply. Flicking my nipple electricity runs through my veins and punches me right in my lower stomach.

"This is going to be quick Niall I'm almost there."

Both of our loud moans fill each other's senses which only makes my hands work faster. "No," he grunts. "Whores like you don't get to finish early, you cum when I tell you to."

Sliding my hand down to my core I squeeze my leg bunching my hips. With my hips in the air my finger moves at an increasing pace. Rubbing my clit fast, the cold air hits my body as I moan.

Grinding my centre into my hands I throw my body back down to the bed.

"Be a good girl and push two fingers in for me."

Niall moans hardly into the phone as his precum lubes his length causing pressuring slick sounds to fill the phone.

"Okay baby." Sliding my hands down my folds I tease my centre which shoots a riveting pain through my body. Sliding my two fingers in I slowly feel myself clenching and expanding for them feeling my walls shut around me.

"Oh ah- fuck feels so good." Sliding deeper until my knuckles hit I need more but this will have to do. Beginning to pump the sounds of my wetness pool around my fingers. With each thrust, my stomach grows and I'm beginning to work up to my release.

"Good girl. Always so good for me. Now with your other hand press it to your clit and don't stop."

My other hand slides up my thighs until met with my hip bone. Sliding over my bare skin goosebumps trickle down until I'm met with my nerves. Pressing deep I scream an ache through the room that causes my hips to bunch.

Rubbing my clit side to side quickly in need, my thrusting fingers shoot electricity through my body and I moan loudly from the help of the empty house now that they're all gone.

"I know that moan dont cum, not yet." I can hear him fuck his hand more demanding and my hips continue to bunch down thrusting into myself.

"No no I need more," I beg, shutting my eyes.

"Add another finger. Feel yourself just like my cock does. That pretty little cunt needs it bad doesn't it?"

"Really really bad." sliding in a third finger my walls clench hard around me deepening the pressure on my centre. Thrusting my hands at a vicious pace as well on my clit my body tightens signalling it can't hold on any longer when I hit my g spot.

"Niall I cant, fuck I need to cum." Moaning loudly my body arches and my head tilt to the ceiling in a scream.

"Beg for it you little slut. Tell me just how much you need it."' he mumbles tightly and I move my hips with my fingers.

"Please. Please, please let me cum, Niall. You're the only person that could ever get me over the edge like this please I'll do anything." Crying into the phone my legs start to shake causing the pressure on my centre to double.

"Fuck Violet you dont know what that just did to me ah-" he moans harshly pumping his shaft ruthlessly. In the next twenty seconds, I listen to his hard moans and thrusting hand fucking himself until the breathlessness of his chest rasps out a cry.

"Oh fuck fuck fuck. Violet baby?"

My body squirms on the sheets making a complete mess as my legs lift. I open them widely, earning a new angle that I explore with a cry. My knees press to my chest as my fingers work over my nerves and centre. My walls completely clench around my fingers and my hand begins to pound right and left on my clit.

"Yeah im right here- fuck." My legs lift higher so I can completely thrust my body into myself.

"Cum for me baby let it go."

Those words take me over the edge and my orgasm shoots through my body covering my hands. Removing my fingers from my centre I work against my nerves ruthlessly riding me out. "Oh Niall" my body arches off the bed. Sitting up in reflex my fingers press into my clit.

"Oh, ah."

"Oh, Violet fuck fuck fuck fuck." He groans.

"god- ah." grunting deeply his moans only press my body deeper as I coat his sheets. My eyes go fuzzy and I shut them, continuing to ride my sensitive core.

"Niall!" I scream at the top of my lungs and my breaths come out at a zero rhythm. Removing my hands I press them to the sheets gripping on for dear life.

"Fuck Suar." with one last grunt from his voice I hear him fall against the seat of his car breathing hard.

When the world comes down I fall onto my back surrounded by the warmth of his bed that never fails to smell like him. Panting out hard breaths trying to present myself back into reality my body unravels. Pressing my hands to my chest I feel my rapid heartbeat.

"You alright over there?" Niall rasps onto the phone and I whimper from his deep voice that I miss so much.

"Just give me a minute."

Niall chuckles over the phone and I smile drunkenly.

"Oh god, I miss you. Wish I could see that perfect naked body of yours cum all over my fingers soaking me."

Suddenly my body tightens once again from his words and I gasp from a sudden twitch in my centre.

"Violet? You alright what was that?"

My body ravels upright again and I press my full palm against my centre cupping myself hardly trying to calm down. "Niall I don't know what happening." My centres too weak for me to pound it like that again.

A new ring on my phone shows and It's a facetime from Niall. Still cupping myself I reach over the bed and answer it. Once I spot his sweaty face on the screen he eyes me cautiously. My face is the only thing he sees but sweat and redness take over my frame. "Violet?" he coos with a wide-lipped grin.

"How much do you miss me?" gripping my centre just a little bit harder in a spasm my body shoots upwards until I'm on my knees.

"I cant Niall." I cry to him on the phone and his face drops.

"Put me on the dresser let me see you." breathing out a large exhale I lean forward setting the phone right against the lamp. Once he sees my body his face grows in ecstasy as his eyes roam all over.

"So fucking beautiful."

As I pull away I watch as his hand tightens and presses to his shaft once more.

"You  still sensitive baby?" His blonde hair sticks to his forehead and I moan from the sight. "Yes, I can't touch myself like that again tonight."

Watching his face turn up in a twitch he begins to moan again. "The pillow. Ride the pillow, pretend it's me."

Wasting no time I reach for the pillow and set it between my thighs. "Yeah just like that." he raps and I shut my eyes once I find the perfect spot. Beginning to grind my hips I press my hands to my chest squeezing both of my breasts as I moan out a loud exhale.

"I- ah." Opening my eyes slightly I watch Nialls rock solid face staring at me in determination.

"Don't stop, keep going."

my arms fall weakly off my chest and press to the top of the pillow in need to grab onto something.

"Jesus" I moan from how good this feels. My centre soaks through the fabric of the pillowcase. I'm so sensitive to the point it feels good.

With my foot pressed to the back of the pillow, I shift my legs upward and the back of the pillow presses deep into me at a new angle. Falling forward in a loud inhale my hands land on the bed on all fours.

My breaths hang down but I fold my body upwards rocking into the pillow like a race. Moving my hips with the fabric my stomach builds in the same pressure as before.

"Fuck baby I just wanna fuck you so bad. You're soaking up my sheets messy girl. Make a mess for me and scream my name alright? That perfect little cunt of yours always so pretty for me."

"Yes- oh fuck." I exhale leaning my head up to the ceiling. "Moan my name too It gets me off."

A loud grunt sounds from his lips signalling he's going faster. "Never last long with you. Wish I was that pillow fucking you from below."

I wish you were here because this pressure is not enough. "I need you to thrust into me from behind and make me limp. I need you to make me scream from how big you are. Only you can do that to me. I need you to ruin me." bunching my hips upwards my legs begin to shake and I thrust my hips on the edge of the pillow crying out.

"Trust me when I get my hands on you you'll wish you were dead. I wanna taste you. I miss waking you up in the morning." squeezing my hands on the pillow my fingernails break the fabric and with one last thrust my foot pushes the pillow into my clit and my body explodes.

"Niall!" I scream his name through my raspy throat as my hips move at the fastest pace on the pillow. "Fuck fuck fuck oh god." my orgasm rips through me and coats the pillow.

As soon as my loud moans fill his car his release shoots out of him matching with mine.

"Oh, violet!" He groans loudly and my chest heaves from his words.

Fuck me.

Looking up to the ceiling my centre pounds from what she's gone through and I fall to my side in complete exhaustion.

The room spins and I go deaf as a small buzzing rings in my ears. Curled up on the bed gripping my breasts in support Niall's chuckles break through my senses bringing me back to reality.

"I'm pretty sure hundreds of people just heard me moan beyond this door." Turning my weak stare to the phone his eyes are dilated fully watching me in lust. Reaching for the electronic I grip it tiredly bringing it to my line of vision and he frowns.

"Put me back, I wanna see our body."

"Come home then." I rasp weakly and he smirks. "We're almost done out here. Give it another two weeks. Now let me see whats mine."

Turning the camera around I push the phone to my cunt letting him the mess he's made. Trailing the camera up my body I fondle my breasts teasing my nipple.

"Fuck Sugar." Watching Nialls face on the screen he's about to touch himself when I flip the camera like nothing happened.

Growling my lips purse in a frown. "That's too long. I miss your hugs and dick."

"Is that all I am to you?" laughter fills the call and I catch my breath.

"Gonna tilt the phone for me princess? One last look. Wanna see you touching your clit." leaning his head back hoping to see from a new angle I brush my sweaty hair away from my face.

"Next time. When I see you next I'll make sure to touch every inch of me as you watch... In fact, next time I want a full view of you too." turning on my side I watch the phone with my head on my arm.

"That's cruel. I'm going to have to go back in there wondering what it was like up close. Im dying out here."

"Then come back and make me. Fuck me and dont holdback. Do whatever you want to me. Make it last all night if you want just don't ever stop." when I moan out the words his face twitches and before he can part his lips I hang up the call.

[chans-baby-girl]

You’ll always have me!

Pairing: Felix x (Gender Neutral) Reader

Description: Fighting with your dad was regular thing but today he crossed a certain line and you need only person to cheer you up and one person only.

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: Verbals and Physical abuse (Slapping), bad parental relationships (father),mature language, established relationships, angst, fluff, mentions of depression but not explicitly stated.

~

“Don’t come back then!”

You wish you didn’t have to…you really did but sometimes things don’t work out the way you want them to. That’s what runs in your mind as you run out the door with your dog Kookies in tow. He looks at you and licks your face making you tear up with guilt for wanting to resent him a few minutes ago. He did start this after-all but he didn’t even know any better so it wasn’t like you could blame him.

“I just cleaned up his piss…”, your dad spat motioning to the now yellow stained wipe in his hand. “Next time you pick up after your own damn dog….What can’t hear or something?”

You barely heard half of that after removing your headphones that your dad didn’t notice you were wearing. But he had been with this sour mood all day so you were just offended?

“Who are you talking to?”, you reply seemingly forgetting you and him were the only ones in the room.

“So you think you’re being smart with me?” He walks closer to your bed anger lacing his tone.

“No I just don’t understand why you are taking it out on me I was in the bathroom you could’ve waited for me to finish and I would’ve cleaned it. So I’m just angry you are giving me attitude for something so childis-“ *SLAP*

“DON’T FUCKING TALK TO ME LIKE THAT YOU LITTLE SHIT IM YOUR DA-“

“WHAT SO JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE MY DAD YOU THINK YOU CAN PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME? DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER? STRONGER? HUH NOW THAT YOU HIT YOUR KID OH YOU ARE SO FUCKING TOUGH HUH? YOU FORGET IM A GROWN ADULT SO JUST LEAVE MY DOG ALONE THEN SINCE YOU DON’T LIKE MY DOG SO MUCH.”

You were so livid you couldn’t even see straight. Your vision began blurring, you started seeing red, and your ears even began ringing and you couldn’t even stop the words flowing out of your mouth. You were so sick and tired of how he treated you and him hitting you was crossing the line.

“ I DON’T WANT THAT DOG”

“I DON’T WANT YOU AND HERE WE ARE.”

“STOP TALKING TO ME LIKE THAT.”

“CAN’T HEAR YOU I HAVE HEADPHONES ON.”

You never shoved your AirPods in your ears faster hitting play and turning up the volume until you felt your phone fly out of your hand.

“FUCK THAT DOG I WANT IT GONE OK?”

“SAME TO YOU I HATE YOU!”

“FINE WITH ME UNGRATEFUL ASS ALL YOU DO IS FIGHT WITH ME I DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU! I FEED YOU LET YOU SEE YOUR BOYFRIEND I DONT HAVE TO DO ANY OF THAT.”

“I DON’T WANT ANYTHING FROM YOU THEN IF YOU ARE JUST GONNA GET LIKE THIS EVERY TIME AND YOU KNOW I HAVE MY OWN JOB SO STOP.” You swear your voice is going to give out and you tap your face and feel all the tears you didn’t even know were flowing. You felt hurt,angry, sad, until you just felt numb.

You ran and grabbed your dog and left with those last words echoing in your head.

“Don’t come back then!”

But you knew that it would be ok because you were almost there. You wished you could’ve let him know you were coming but your phone was back at your house. Soon enough you knock on an all too familiar door. You wipe your tears but you know you are probably going to cry again so it’s pointless to hide it. Kookies wags his tail in anticipation but the door never opens.

“Shit…is he not home?…”, you walk to his driveway and spot his parked car.

“…maybe he went to bed ….fuck fuck fuck….what do I do…what do we do?…”, you looked to Kookies who tilted his head in confusion and barked possessively.

You fought back tears until you choked on a sob and just cried loudly. It was uncontrollable at this point all the events leading up to this very moment have taken a toll and quite frankly it wasn’t something you wanted to deal with. You stepped away from the door and started walking towards the sidewalk. You didn’t know where else to go and you sure as hell didn’t wanna go home but you had no other choice.

You sobbed and started your walk home. Kookies whimpered at your sobbing features and licked your face in an attempt to soothe you but sadly, his efforts were futile. You barely made it 15 feet away from the house when Kookies began barking loudly. You pet him and told him that it was okay but he managed to wiggle his way out of his your grasp and ran towards the house once again.

“Kookies come back we have to go!”’ You cried as you reluctantly raced after him. He stopped at the door and sat there expectantly making you look at him in confused.

The door abruptly opened and there stood your boyfriend Felix clad in a oversized shirt that stuck to his seemingly damp frame with sweats underneath. His blond hair was tied back in a hair tie and it looked pretty frizzy. ‘Did he just…shower?’

You felt a bit dumb thinking he was asleep you kept your head down and didn’t say anything. Felix however studied your sad and exhausted appearance and put two and two together. This wasn’t the first time you’ve escaped to his house and in the 7 years he has been with you he knows the issue. He can still remember your broken face the first time you came over.

It was sophomore year and your dad had just yelled at you for not being home on time even though you told him that the city bus broke down and you had no other way home. He berated you and made you feel like it was all your fault so you ran to your boyfriends house for the first time. You were thankful he lived so close to you. He was shocked to see you appear unannounced at his doorstep and you had only been with him for a few months. Even then you never really told him what was going on in fear he would laugh too. It was far from what you expected though, he went out to get you snacks and made sure to make you comfy before wrapping you in his arms. He put on a movie and sat there without saying a word. He didn’t want to push you and waited for you to come out with it on your own. You did sure enough, and from then on it became a routine. His home became your home. He became your home.

Felix sighed before opening the door allowing you to step in. You put Kookies down and he went immediately to Felix, who happily let the dog jump in his arms and took him to his backyard before closing the door allowing Kookies to play with the toys Felix had out. You made your way to the couch that resides in the living room and sat on it without saying a word. Felix makes his way back to the living room and sat next to you. He opened his arms allowing you to rest your head on his shoulder. He placed his hands on your sides and gave you a reassuring squeeze.

You looked up at him with an unreadable expression and he just smiled softly at you because he just wanted you to feel safe. You broke down you couldn’t take it anymore you just let yourself cry and you let yourself be vulnerable around him. You knew that he was there even when your dad was going to be the worst Felix would always be the best. You eventually calmed down and Felix rocked you back and forth rubbing small circles to your back until you stop crying. It was silent for a few minutes more until you decided to speak: “He told me not to come back…even tho I know he said it because he was mad it hurt more than it should’ve…and idk Lix I just idk if I can t-take it anymore I’m so tired and exhausted.”, tears formed in your eyes and you pressed your head to his chest.

“I mean I said stupid shit to him too if I’m going to be fair so I am at fault for pissing him of-“

“YOU’RE at fault? YOU that’s ridiculous and fair????baby please don’t cover for him. Don’t defend him and don’t try to make yourself feel guilty that is what he is good at. Don’t do that to yourself love. It is not your fault and he has put you through hurt and suffering since before we even got together and you know it. His actions are inexcusable at this point and I am done sitting here and not being able to do anything about it. He said he doesn’t want you back and whether he means it or not you are staying with me. You know I have more than enough money for us and we can make this work. I promise love.”, he grabbed your hands and stared in your eyes and told you he loved you. You couldn’t help but get lost in his beautiful eyes and you couldn’t help but glance at his adorable freckles. You leaned in and pressed kisses to them which made him smile. You leaned I to him resting your head in the crook of his neck before replying with an ok.

“Hold that thought love ima go get Kookies since it’s darker outside now!” He gets up to go to the backyard only to return moments later with your furry companion.

“Anyways sweetheart I am so happy to hear that you wanna stay with me. Love I promise I’m going to take care of you here. Well you and Kookies how could I not he is so adorable and we both know he loves me more!”, he proclaims loudly puffing out his chest and donning one of his cheeky grins.

You scoff and roll your eyes.

“He does not”

“Does too”

“DOES NOT”

“DOES TOO”

“WHO DO YOU THINK GAVE BIRTH TO HIM!”

Felix bursts into laughter and squeals “NOT YOU!”

“HOW DARE YOU DO YOU EVEN VSCO?”, you shriek back and you’ve long forgotten what your dad even did.

Felix gets up and grabs Kookies,” You love me more right…give me a little kiss if you do!”

“HOW DARE YOU ASK HI-“

“SHHHH HE IS THINKING”, he replies causing you to stare at Kookies who has his head tilted. It took him a few moments to finally lick Felix’s cheek causing him to erupt in cheers while you in contrast feigned a hurt expression.

“Kookies how could you…don’t you remember where you came from!”, you fake cried. You and Felix both looked at each other and burst into a fit of giggles. Felix sat back down placing Kookies on the floor and hugged you tight. You sat in a comfortable silence until you spoke up.

“You know I still have to tell my dad I’m moving out?”

“Yes I do but I will be there with you ok love?”

“Yeah but I know he isn’t going to like me moving out on a whim I’m just a bit scared you know and I still have to get all of my stuff it’s just gonna be a mess.” You let out a heavy sigh and let your head fall in your hands. Felix shifts so you are in between his legs and starts to massage your back letting you relax in his hold. You always enjoyed his tender and relaxing massages from his tiny hands that worked wonders.

“I know things are going to go down but we need to get it done now or he is always going to do this to you and by staying you are just giving him that. I promise ima make it ok just trust me love.”

You nod with a smile and embrace him while kissing all over his face letting your hands roam to his sides to tickle him. He begins laughing uncontrollably squirming with tears forming in his eyes.

“YA STOP STOOOOOOP PLEASE”,he cries out pleading for mercy.

You smile widely letting your grin spread from ear to ear and mischievously reply,”Only if you make me brownies please please please.”

“YES YES OF COURSEEEEE PLEASE STAWWWWP.”

You smile with satisfaction and release him jumping up from the couch and start jumping up and down.

“My hero!”, you reply with a layer of sarcasm to which Felix merely smiled at before grabbing your hand and leading you to the kitchen.

To your surprise there are already ingredients for brownies laid on the counter. You gaze at Felix with a questioning look to which he simply shrugs.

“Actually I was already planning on making you brownies and bringing them over but fate was on my side as always.”, Felix grinned and wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you in front of him as he started preparing the mix. He made sure to keep you close because he loves inhaling your sweet scent. You turned around and smiled feeling so lucky have him. He made you feel so safe and secure. He made you feel loved and cared for which was something you lacked at home with your dad. Not that it was your real home because to you, you had found your real home in Felix and he found his home within you and that was all you needed.

“I am a bit sad though Lix cuz I don’t even have my dad to go to anymore.” You sighed wishing things could be different.

“I know but who cares even if the world turns against you…You’ll always have me!”, he grinned and turned you around so you could face him. You couldn’t help but smile back because he was right.

You pressed a kiss you his lips draping your arms around his neck to bring his closer. Quickly he wrapped his hands around your waist and moved his lips in sync with yours. You smiled into the kiss and started giggling randomly making Felix pull back and stare at you with a perplexed smile on his face.

“What? Do I have something on my face?” He began patting his face vigorously and let out an overly dramatic gasp. You rolled your eyes and hugged him instead pulling him close and squeezing him with the tightest grip you could muster.

“No you coconut I just…”, you sigh with a smile that he couldn’t see,”I just love you Felix I really love you. Thank you for always putting me first.”, you peck his lips and cup his face staring at his features and studying them like you’ll never see them again.

Felix beamed feeling a little proud of how good he is to you he peck your lips in response looking at you with his face full of love and care.

“I love you too forever and always.”

****************************************

Authors Note: just wanna say hi and welcome to my work I hope you enjoy and I just want y’all to know… I really tried 🤡 but if you like or if you want more stuff like this yk send asks :) anyways have an amazing day

[theyscreamjade]

Denki, Kirishma, bakugo x reader who has PTSD and BPD, and when extremely overwhelmed starts crying and frantically shaking her head. *I hope you dont mind this. I wish people would do more Mental health ones. Thank you if you do reply*

PTSD & BPD

I don’t mind writing this. As I said, I can write some dark shit when I feel like it. I hope you like honey and they should, I agree with you. I’d honestly love to touch on touchy subjects such as this because it needs to be talked about more because it relates to so many people who thinks that they’re the only ones who dealt with things like this.

Disclaimer: Traumatic Events, Sexual assault, and lastly cursing. If this triggers you, please skip. Read at your own risk.

———————————————————————————————————————

Denki Kaminari

* Your fingers tapped against your thighs while anxiously wishing to go back to the apartment quickly.

* The mere speaking about water just made you crazy. Your hands shook a bit while Denki drove you two towards the beach to hang out with the old gang on such a hot day.

* The image of your hands fighting to get back to the surface to take in a deep gasp of air.

* It happened so suddenly. You were just sitting on your floaters while relaxing underneath the hot sun.

* That’s when you slipped right through the rather large holes and began to sink to the bottom.

* You were underneath the deep blue ocean, reaching out for someone to see you. You began to kick and you discovered that your foot was caught within the ocean's rocks.

* Your vision became blurry as fear rushed through your veins. A small five-year-old, fighting to survive. The last image you can see that’ll haunt you is your guardian’s cry for your name when your vision blacked out.

* Denki’s hand touching your thigh made you jump as he looked at you worried while you two stopped at a stoplight.

* “Sunshine? You okay?” He’d ask before shook his worries away. “I’m fine! I’m okay!” You lied before the light turned green. The moment your feet touched the beach's sandy surface, you stared at it as the foamy waves crashed.

* You could feel your hands shaking but you hid it as well as you could, acting as normally as possible.

* That was until Denki picked you up and made a bolt to the water. Your fear made your hair raise as your hands gripped his wrists tightly. “No, No, No, NO! NO! NO!” You screamed, closing your eyes as tears streamed down your cheeks. You latched onto his body tightly, shaking like a cold animal as your thoughts continued to flash that last image in your head.

* You were so terrified, you never realized Denki was taking you back to the car and sat with you in the backseat. He wouldn’t ask anything but rub your back, trying to calm you down.

* Your body was bundled in his towel while he held onto you tightly, your face in his sandy chest, he didn’t care that he could have a sandy backseat.

* When you confide to him of the drowning you almost experience when you were younger, he’d then ask if you wanted to leave. You should’ve told him and he would’ve never brought you out here.

* Denki is the type to do anything to make sure you’re okay. After seeing you, nearly have a panic attack and go apeshit because of the water, he’ll make sure to keep you away.

* When you two have a mission by the water or you’re on a boat, he’ll keep you as distracted as possible. He’ll hold your hand, take selfies with you, distract you with his phone, or anything. I mean the possibilities are endless with him.

* But one thing is for sure, he’ll never want to see you make that face ever again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katsuki Bakugo

* Your PTSD is a tad bit traumatic for most but is very common. You had a fear of thunderstorms and dark clouds.

* There’s a good reason though. You once lived in a tropical area where it was prone to receive storms such as hurricanes, terrible tornadoes, and thunderstorms. The numbers were endless.

* You were ten when you were in your room when the glass shattered from your window as the wind blew harshly into you. You saw your mother snatch you and pulled you into towards her and rushed you into the hallway.

* Thunder boomed, the house you called home shook, your dog whined loudly in your lap. You begged your mother to make it stop while she cried.

* Your father was nowhere to be found since he was working that night. No warning was sent to warn you all of the storm. Nothing at all.

* You could feel the water rush to your crossed legs as the roof was snatched up. You screamed as the runaway train sound the tornado created blew past you guys.

* Tears streamed down while you held onto your mother tightly. The aftermath was godawful.

* Let’s say...you found your father that morning...hanging from a tree.

* You sat in your apartment alone, trying to relax while you pace behind the couch. You just wanted to relax. The extremely dark clouds gave you the immediate anxiety you didn’t want to have. You tried to move your focus to something else but nothing worked.

* You heard the click of a lock as your boyfriend walked in and looked at you confused. “Why in the hell are you pacing?” He questioned. “Dumbass!”

* “IM NOT IN THE MOOD, BAKUGO!” You snapped in anger before stopping. “I-I-I’m sorry..” you apologized quickly as a sudden lightning strike made you jump.

* When the large boom of thunder followed, your hands gripped your hair to your scalp. “No, No, No, No, No, No, No” you repeated, your heart racing as your mind imagined you back at your home. You were shaking and crying before Bakugo rushed to you and hugged you tightly. His hands would free your hair as he held you in his arms.

* You wouldn’t have to tell him because he knows the feeling all too well. You think even as an adult, Bakugo’s over that attack from that slime monster?

* It fucking haunts him and he has PTSD from it just as well from the All Might thing too. I see Bakugo as the type to either find a solution to help you.

* Since thunder makes you panic, he’ll buy soundproof headphones you only wear when there’s a storm. They make the sound of thunder disappear especially when you play music.

* He’ll either make you wear sunglasses that’ll block the flash or just buy blackout curtains to block the flashing.

* He honestly wishes that he could fight the storm and tell it to chill the fuck out, but he can’t.

* Just know he’s not giving up until you’re comfortable again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eijiro Kirishima

* My dear, you’ve lived a fucked up life. To put it in nicer words, Your father was a bastard who should be burned at the stake because he’s done fucked up shit to you that no man should ever.

* Yep, I’m going down this road because I want to see more of traumatic shit like this.

* All because of what your father did, it left you terrified of men. You’re gorgeous and your body developed early when you were younger.

* It didn’t give the man the right to do what he did and to get away with it as well. You spoke up about it, of course, just..did a few years too late.

* The officers told you because you waited so late, they couldn’t prove the things your father did to you.

* So you hid this memory in your mind, never to be resurfaced again. You refused ever bring it up ever again. Never again.

* Well...you and Kirishima started dating and it changed a few things. He’s a touchy guy because he would’ve never expected to catch the attention of a babe like you.

* It was a mere movie but who would’ve thought it’ll make you flip the way you did. You and he were watching a movie at his apartment. You were walking back with a bowl of popcorn and turned off the lights.

* “There you are!” Kirishima said happily before wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into his lap. The bowl collapsed from your hands before you pried yourself and stood up quickly, looking down at him shocked.

* This would worry him and he stands up as you stepped backward, shaking as your breathing increased. “Baby? You okay?” He’d ask you while holding his hand to you as you slapped his hand away. “N-N-No! Please! No! No!” You cried, accidentally falling over the low coffee table.

* You immediately curl into a ball and sob, holding your body together as he stared in hurt and confusion.

* He wouldn’t touch you because he’s afraid that he’s hurt you or something, but he’s going to check and make sure you didn’t get hurt when you tumbled backward.

* When you finally tell him what your father did. He apologizes quickly and begs for your forgiveness, he would’ve never done it if you told him. The last thing he’d ever want to do is to be reminded of that bastard like your father.

* In all honesty, If Kirishima sees your sperm donor, He may fuck him up or get someone to because he deserves to have the same thing happened to him in prison like how he violated you.

* Just know Kiri’s gonna love you and help you in every way he can. He’ll never want to see you curled ever again. And whenever you’re comfortable, he’s going to love you in over a thousand ways.

[phangirlof]

Atelophobia (02)

Description: Atelophobia- the fear of not being good enough or imperfect. Don’t let your ego win.

Pairing: Sehun x Reader

Genre: College! AU, Angst

Word Count: 4.1k words

(A/N: I apologize for the wait, first part came out in like 2017, however the it will also be linked here) x

Fuck!

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

It was the only thing you’d been able to say or think. You’d fucked up. Big time. There was no way around it. That was the bottom line.

To Sehunnie: Sehun please answer my calls

To Sehunnie: Please babe

To Sehunnie: We need to talk

To Sehunnie: It’s not what it looked like, that was nothing. It meant nothing. Please baby, im begging you, answer my calls.

Forty-three minutes later and still no reply. You slammed your phone to the ground, acting on impulse and listening to the distinct noise it made as it shattered. Tiny shards of glass lay in your phone’s wake. Your phone was one of your most prized possessions, and you knew you’d regret doing it sometime within the next few days, but right now? You couldn’t find it in yourself to care. Sehun hadn’t talked to you since before the kiss with Baekhyun, which happened almost a month ago. You were going insane. You text and call him only to get no reply. You had gone to his house several times, but he was never there when you showed up, probably because he knew when you were free and knew what time he should leave to avoid you. Your last hope was always that you might see him in class, however he hadn’t graced you with his presence there either.

“Just give him time. He just needs to think everything out before he talks to you.” Your best friend had said last time you called her, and every time you called seeing as how it was always about the same thing; Sehun. It didn’t even occur to you to think of anything else to talk about. He had consumed your every thought. He was the only coherent thought your brain could muster up. You knew it was unhealthy to be this obsessed over the whole situation, but how could you bother concerning yourself with anything else. Nothing mattered, not until Sehun talked to you and you guys worked this stupid mess out. As you sat at home, avoiding homework, housework, and ultimately everything, all you could think about was your boyfriend, and the recent wedge in your relationship, Baekhyun.

Too many thoughts ran through your mind and none of them made sense, however they all lead back to one thing. Baekhyun, Byun Baekhyun, had kissed you in front of your very insecure boyfriend causing him to quit talking to you, for how long you still have no clue, and not to mention he had been trying to talk to you throughout the course of the last few weeks. Of course you never let him get past a ‘hey babe’ before you were running off in the other direction. He was the root cause behind Sehun avoiding you. You weren’t going to talk to him just to make things worse. You had even talked to your teacher about not pairing you and Baekhyun up again, seeing as how that’s what started things in the first place.You finally left your broken phone lying on the kitchen floor, and went to your bedroom. The door slammed behind you, as it often did here recently. You took a seat on the edge of your rosy pink bedspread. Sehun had bought it for you last christmas. Call it cliche, but you loved anything pink, and he knew he couldn’t leave the store the moment his eyes landed on it.

Your eyes scoured over the dirty room before you. You had never been a neat person, but the current state of your room was worse than anytime before. Sehun would usually crack a joke about how one of you might accidentally get hurt if you didn’t clean up.

“One day I’m gonna fall right on my face just trying to get to your bed.” You remember him saying one day. “I’m telling you, I’m gonna break my nose, and probably your favorite lamp.”

Sehun would actually be disappointed with all the trash and dirty clothes piles lying around right now. “This is ridiculous Y/n.” You could hear him now, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. The slam of the front door ripped you away from your thoughts. “Y/n, I’m home.” Your mom yelled from downstairs. You didn’t move an inch from where you laid, nor did you say respond.

“Will you help me with the groceries?” She called to you from the kitchen. Once again, you didn’t reply. Instead you slipped into a pair of shoes Sehun had bought you last year, and headed out to the car.

***

“Can we talk?” Your mom asked as she knocked on your bedroom door. She would’ve walked straight in had you not recently gotten in the habit of locking the door right behind you. Besides keeping yourself hidden away in your room, you also kept yourself buried within your bedsheets, wearing one of the many hoodies you stole from Sehun as well as a pair of his sweatpants that he left over at your place for when he spent the night. You inhaled a deep breath. You didn’t want to move a muscle, let alone get out of bed, but you knew your mother was worried about you. These days you barely spoke a word to her or your sister. Not to mention the only times you ate was when she forced you to come out of your room. Really and truly the only time you did anything was when she forced you to.

You shoved the blankets covering you to the side and got up to unlock the door. Your mother entered promptly, not that you had noticed because as soon as you turned the lock, you climbed back into bed. “I know it's been hard the way you and Sehun split, but this might be for the best.” You were shocked at your mother's words. “For the best? We’ve been together for almost seven years now, and you say it's for the best?”

“Just hear me out-,” Your mother began, but you stopped her. “No, this whole mess is just some stupid misunderstanding, but he won’t give me the time of day long enough to hear me out. But you think it’s for the best?” You shouted. You didn’t mean to, but you started getting worked up.

“Don’t raise your voice at me Y/n. Sometimes even the best of things come to an end. We don’t always get a happy ending, and sweetheart that’s just life.” She hadn’t said much but you were fuming. That was far from anything you wanted to hear. “You know what? Fuck you Mom! How about you be there for me? How about care, or even just think about how I feel? But instead of being an actual parent or a shoulder to cry on, you just brush all my feelings to the side like they don’t matter.”

Your mom went to defend herself, but you continued before she had the chance to speak.

“And this isn’t the first time you’ve done this to me. Any fight Sehun and I had, you said it was my fault. You never even hear me out before you’re finding a way to blame it on me, regardless if it is or isn’t my fault. Anytime I ask for advice you give me some half-assed crap that doesn’t even make sense because you don’t care. And you never did.” You channeled all your anger into your hands, breaking whatever came in contact with your fists.

Nothing registered as your fists slammed against anything in reach. All you knew was the burning rage coming from deep within you. Everything, all your emotions and the bullshit laced words your mother spoke to you fueled the anger in your hands. You heard glass shattering beneath your palm, but you didn’t stop. You wanted everything broken. You couldn’t stand being the only thing around in need of repair.

Your mother wrapped her arms around you as tightly as she could, tearing you away from your violent outburst. You didn’t even realize it and you were still just swinging, reaching out for anything to break or shatter.

“Please stop, just stop!” You mother sobbed. Her voice finally broke your trance and you just went limp in her arms and started crying yourself. “I’m sorry. I never meant to make you feel so invalidated or that I didn’t care. I love you, I swear I do. And I’ll be better.” Her words shattered your heart and you cried even harder. You never thought she’d apologize and especially not actually take your side for once.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.” She cried.

It took you a moment to form more than just sobs but eventually you managed out a weak, “I love you too” and you guys continued just like that, crying in each other’s arms until your sister burst in, eyes wide from the scene in front of her.

“Are you guys okay?” She asked, peeking in from behind the door.

Your mother loosened her grip on you and turned towards the door. “Yes, we’re fine. We just had a really important conversation and now things are okay dear.”

Your mother quickly wiped the tears on her cheeks away with her shirt sleeve. After she was done, she did the same thing to you with her other sleeve. You couldn’t help but smile at her words. Okay. Despite how broken you still felt from Sehun’s cold rejections, this did feel okay. You and your mother were seeing eye to eye for the first time in god knows how long. And for now that’s all you needed to keep pushing.

***

Two weeks later

“Sehun, you’re being ridiculous dude. Talk to her. There’s no reason that two months after that little kiss with Baekhyun, you still won’t talk to her.” Chanyeol said before shoveling a handful of fries into his mouth.

“It’s not that simple, you didn’t see what I saw. And I’ve told you that over and over again.” Sehun had been trying to shift his focus away from Y/n, but his loyal to a fault best friend was not helping. Whatsoever.

“I don’t care. We both heard Baekhyun talking about it with all his douchey friends. He set her up. He knew you were coming and he wanted to stir up drama. Besides, you’re hurting yourself for no reason and you’re hurting Y/n even more. You know that she would never ever do anything to hurt you, so by putting up this wall you’re only ruining your chances of fixing this mess. Go talk to her dude, seriously before you do something you might regret.”

Too late. “Listen, I’ll talk to her when I’m ready.” Sehun muttered, more than ready for this conversation to be over.

“And when is that gonna be? Next month? The month after that? Six months down the road?” Chanyeol gave Sehun his all knowing look that he was way too familiar with. They both knew Chanyeol was right, but Sehun would never admit that to his face. He always was, but Sehun was stubborn. Way too stubborn. He knew what the right thing to do was, but his feelings were hurt. So so so hurt. He had spent months trying to tell himself nothing was wrong and all these problems were just in his head. Then the moment he was ready to put his relentless thoughts to rest, Byun Baekhyun happened.

The image of who he thought was his soulmate and Baekhyun together, kissing, played in his head over and over and over again. No matter how hard he tried to erase it, the picture was forever burned in his memories. He would never be able to forgive Baekhyun for that. They had been friends at one point. Even though they’d grown apart these last few years Sehun had expected at least a little bit of respect from his former best friend. Someone he and his family had welcomed into their home many times.

“I get it, okay? I should talk to her. But Yeol, please let me do that on my own terms. I’m not ready for that conversation yet, and when I am I’ll talk to her. Please just change the subject.”

Chanyeol let out a defeated huff. “Alright, I’ll drop it.”

“Thank you.”

Chanyeol effortlessly switched the subject, not that Sehun was keeping up. He needed to talk to Y/n. There was no way around it anymore.

“So anyway, are we meeting up at the park or do you wanna get together before then?” Chayeol asked but not before slurping down most of his watered down soda.

“What, why?”

“Don’t tell me you forgot.” He said, shaking his head in mock disappointment. “We were gonna meet up for the movies in the park? The movie theater is having like a whole thing. You said you’d go with me.”

It had completely slipped his mind. “I’ve got homework dude. I can’t.”

“Homework? For the classes you’ve been skipping?”

Shit. “You got me. I’ll be there dude.”

“Thank you. Don’t ditch me last minute because I will come find you.”

“I won’t, i won’t.” Sehun muttered.

“Alright, now I’ve gotta go run some errands, but meet me at 7?” Chanyeol quickly gathered his things and rushed off, yelling a quick “See ya later,” over his shoulder to Sehun.

All Sehun could do was sigh. He still wasn’t ready to talk to Y/n, but he needed to. He should’ve already done it by now.

The past is the past, you can’t change it now.

***

Sehun regretted this. He regretted this so much. He should’ve tried alot harder to get out of these stupid plans with Chanyeol. Why did he ever agree to this? It was cold. So cold. Despite the many layers he had on, the wind managed to find a way to blow right through all of them. He kept rubbing his hands together hoping to get some kind of warmth back to them seeing as how the moment he stepped foot into the park, his fingers had gone numb.

“This was so so stupid,” was one of the only coherrent thoughts he could form as he walked to the spot Chanyeol had asked him to meet him at for the stupid movies in the park thing. The other was why the fuck would the movie theater play movies in the park? They literally have a building to do that at!

Sehun was just ready for this night to be over. He was cold and miserable, not to mention that as soon as he got to Chanyeol he would probably start up again, pestering him about when he was gonna talk to Y/n. And he got it. Chanyeol was just trying to be a good friend for both him and Y/n, but he just couldn’t get it through to his best friend that he did not want to talk about it anymore. He’d go see her and talk about it on his own time, but for now he would just like peace.

After a couple more minutes of begrudgingly walking through the park, he ended up at the statue Chan had texted him about, however there was no sign of him anywhere. Sehun pulled out his phone. The time read 7:08 pm. There’s no reason he should be late, these were literally his plans.

He wrote him a “im here where are you?” text and hit sent. Chanyeol answered immediately.

“Went with jongin, however there’s a surprise coming”

Angry was an understatement. He didn’t even want to be here and now Chanyeol had flaked on him.

“Im gonna kill you, whats the surprise”

Before Sehun could look up from his phone he heard a weak “Sehun?”

“Y/n?” Sehun’s eyes went wide with shock and his mouth followed suit. “What are you doing here?”

“Chan texted me and asked me to meet him here, I’m guessing it was a setup.” She said.

“Yeah.” Sehun choked out. He hadn’t seen Y/n  in so long and that was no one’s fault except his own, but he forgot just how breathtaking she was.

“Are you gonna say something or should I just leave.” She said, crossing her arms at an attempt to block out some of the wind blowing through her thin sweater.

“Here, take my jacket before you freeze.” Sehun said, stripping out of his top layer without so much as a second thought and offering it to her. Y/n debated for a moment on whether she should or not, despite this being their first contact in months she was absolutely freezing.

“Please?” He said, seeing the self conflict cross her features. “I know that I should’ve came to you alot sooner, but please just take my jacket and we can go sit in my car and talk.”

Y/n hesitantly took the jacket, but finally shook her head and agreement. “Alright.” Was all she said as she waited for him to lead the way. Sehun had completely forgotten about his earlier grievances. He had no idea what he was gonna say to Y/n now that she was right here in front of him. And he can’t just back down now, he’d already agreed to talk to her.

He silently led them back to his car, despite the fact that he had all these questions and things running rampant in his mind. He swore he could hear his heart beating and at the rate it was going now, he felt like it was gonna beat right out of his chest. Nervous was an understatement right now. He had no idea how this was going to go.

He knew she was upset, understandably so. He’d been completely ignoring her for months now. He also knew just how much this had probably been weighing on her especially because he’d been feeling the same way.

He took his keys out and unlocked the car, immediately jumping in and turning the heat on. Y/n was in the passenger seat, reaching for the blankets she knew Sehun kept in the backseat. She grabbed one for herself and handed Sehun the other one.

“Thank you.” He said, practically whispering. It was the first thing either of them had said in a while. His hands shook as he accepted the blanket from her. Half of it from the numbness that had settled into his fingers and the other half from just how nervous he was to be with Y/n right now in this moment.

“If you’re not ready to talk about this, I’ll just go home.” Y/n said. She wasn’t looking at Sehun, her gaze was focused somewhere else completely. “No, no, no. I do. I just don’t know where to start.” He answered honestly.

“Alright, well I’ll go first then. You know that I would never ever do anything to hurt you right?”

Sehun didn’t answer, his pride wouldn’t let him.

“Well, I wouldn’t okay. That day I was working on homework with Baekhyun. You texted and said you were almost there and then as soon as we were done he packed up his stuff and started to leave. And right as I went to close the door he called my name and then kissed me. I had no idea he was gonna do that. I didn’t want to kiss him. I never wanted to kiss him. I’ve never felt anything for him and I never will.”

Sehun shook his head. “It looked like so much more than that. It looked like that wasn’t the first time you guys had kissed. Hell for all I know you guys could’ve been sneaking around for months.”

Y/n scoffed. “Do you hear yourself right now? Why would I sneak around with Baekhyun or anyone else for heaven’s sake? I love you and I always have. I don’t need anyone else.”

“I know.”

“Listen, I know that you’d been having doubts about us and I know that it was pushing you away from me, but I swear I’ve never wanted to hurt you.”

“I never wanted to hurt you either.”

“I know babe, but it’s okay,”

“No, listen to me.” He interrupted you, but you let him. He was finally talking to you, but you were ready to listen. “Chanyeol and I overheard Baekhyun and his friends talking about what happened and how he wanted to talk to you but he wanted to break us up first. But I didn’t know that before I...” He stopped. He dreaded the words that were about to leave his lips, but he had to tell you the truth.

“When I left your house that day I ended up at Yoonha’s house and.. I was talking to her about everything and told her about Baekhyun. I… one thing led to another and I-i, we slept together.”

“You cheated on me?” The sheer hurt was very apparent on Y/n’s face. “Are you actually kidding me?”

“No I’m not and you know what I deserved it. You knew exactly how Baekhyun felt about you. He was constantly flirting with you and eye fucking you every chance he got, and you never stopped him or tried to say anything to him. You know what I’ve felt ever since that day? I’ve felt numb. Nothing else registers. Nothing registers. Nothing makes me happy, or angry, or sad, or anything else besides numb. Yoonha made me feels things that I hadn’t felt in years. She made me realize that I was right about how I was never good enough for you. I tried my hardest for six years only to find out it had all been a waste of time because you were just gonna throw yourself at the first guy that gave you a chance.

“So when I saw her that day I finally felt something and I went for it. Being with her made me feel alive. Since that day I’ve felt like I was being dragged under and there was nothing that I could do to bring myself back to the surface. She was my lifeboat, my saving grace. Every second I spent with her made me feel like I was on cloud nine and I couldn’t get enough. I slept with her. And I don’t regret it because whereas with you throughout our entire relationship I felt like I was a different person, she made me feel like myself.”

“I did everything I could to make you feel like you were good enough, because truth be told I always thought you were too good for me, but I see I stand corrected. You didn’t deserve me.”

“Woah woah woah. I didn’t deserve you?”

“Yes! I did nothing wrong, and if you had even given me the chance to explain myself from the fuck up your stupid little friend did, we wouldn’t be having this discussion.”

“Hey, he is not my friend.” Sehun interrupted.

“Is that really important right now? You cheated on me. That was your decision, before even considering to hear me out. You were so quick to throw us away. You are the only person who’s had my heart and it’s been that way for years, but you were so so quick to throw everything out the window for what? Revenge? To get back at me for something that I didn’t do?”

“I don’t even wanna hear it.”

Y/n laughed. “You don’t wanna hear it. That’s hilarious. You were alot of things Sehun, but you were never stupid. Do not blame your insecurities on me, because I never did anything wrong. I supported you. I helped you. I did anything you wanted or even needed me to do. I did so much for you out of nothing more than love. ‘Throw myself at the first guy that gave me the chance’ You are really unbelievable. I tried to understand your feelings and help you through all of them, but if you really talked to yourself into believing that I never loved you or that I didn’t think you were good enough for me, then I don’t think you ever really knew me at all. And that’s just sad.”

Y/n threw the blanket off and flung the door open, climbing out of the passenger seat as fast as she could, but before she closed the door she laughed one more time. “Six years… down the drain. I hope Yoonha makes you happy.” And with that, she slammed the car door. 

masterlist

[morgannwilsonnn]

Chapters

I would be lying if i said i wasn't scared to start college in 12 day's. Even typing it makes me anxious, i don't think i have ever seen my own true potential in anything i have ever done. my doubt's and my fear's of what if have always held me back in some way and what is embarrassing is the fact that i have allowed it to become so normal that it has taken so much from me, it has degraded me made me feel like i wasn't worthy or smart enough or even capable.

See i didn't even finish highschool i got my GED after having my daughter at 16, i was the athlete everyone thought would make it but it was a shocker to them after that no one believed in me and i had a fire under my ass to prove them wrong even with a GED but then i dropped out of college and life happened i needed a job and a roof and from there i just got comfortable in what i did but even then it didn't feel like i was where i was meant to be. sitting behind a desk forever living life just enough to get by but never enough to do the things i wanted with my daughter. I looked for new job's with no luck and it made me feel even worse not good enough i felt stuck but i kept trying and even praying that this life wasn't what was meant for the rest of my life i somehow had to get out of the cycle and beat the statics of a single mom working 9-5 living on state for the rest of her life... then i got fired and lost my car almost lost my home i started busing tables even tho it wasn't nearly enough to pay all my bills i took turn running late on one or the other just to make it. Then i found i new job making 19 a hour but my first two days over whelmed me i didn't understand shit and how could i set myself up for failure i didn't believe in myself so i quit and went back to busing tables got pregnant had health issues and became a stay at home mom for going on two years now.

my life summed up over the last four years of my life.

being a stay at home mom has taught me alot about myself tho mainly that it is not easy and you fall into dark cracks sometimes so dark you're scared that you'll never resurface the cries become tuned out you forget that outside is even a place you cant help but cry as you wash dishes with no thoughts other then just feeling sad. you wonder if your kids would be better off without you because you feel guilty for being so comfortable with the feeling of frustration. but then you resurface and come back and say you wont go back but its like someone with a drug or alcoholic addiction you are bound to relapse back and it only gets worse but you hide it better each time you cry in the shower or when the kids are napping you sit up restless because your mind races. you start to feel like you have nothing to offer you completely forget your worth and what you can do your potential.

BUT everytime i tried to find a solution maybe i needed to set a goal to go out once a month or sit alone for a hour every day go to the gym go on a walk go shopping go to counseling and some how i still kept falling in between the cracks deeper and deeper.. i lost hope i wallowed that this was my life that i would never have my own life again but i had to love it because i loved my kids..

till one day i woke up and realized this person i have became over the last two years isnt who i have ever been. i am a strong working strong willed self determened women and the only thing that stopped me was me.

i remember sitting there thinking how bad i wish i could buy my own car again after watching tyler buy his the joy in his face made me happy but the sadness i felt because i didn't take a part made me want that happiness 100% to share TOGETHER. i started looking at my credit from when i lost my job it went to shit i use to have a 880 credit. and i thought what the fuck morgan... i told myself i would pay off one of the things as a starter to fixing my credit but once i made the first payment i cant explain how good it felt to know i wouldn't look back wishing i would have paid it then and it put a fire under my ass that i paid off three more things. that alone made me realize how it felt to have my own control over my financial freedom. i started thinking big after that and looking back into school for PTA 2 year schooling i could have finished that by now and been a PTA by the age of 20 instead of dwelling in my could have i realized instead how fast two years goes by so i started investing my free time on how to start college im not gonna lie i almost quit at the starting line but i didn't i started blowing up the schools phone asking questions more then once writing all over my notebook reorganizing it all on a new sheet and finally i would be starting school oct 18th..

but why would i wanna stop there when i could only dream of all these things in life a tahoe for my kids to have a nice car with back ac a nice house so they dont have to share a room anymore paying for sports clothes trips just because wanting to finish paying off the rest of my credit so i can do these things! i asked myself how bad did i really want it and i always knew i wanted it bad but just because you want something bad doesnt mean you get it so i asked myself how bad are you willing to invest in yourself... and that one caught me so i sat back for a few days exploring jobs and nothing fit my schedule so i gave up because not only that child care is 900 a week for one kid.. but then i got a text for a night time job working 6 hours from 6:30 to midnight .. i debated with myself about it because my man works till 5 some days i would never see him and only have sunday monday off but then i told myself invest and sacrifice now so i dont have to when my kids are older so i took it and granted i will be going to school part time 7am to 10am dropping my daughter off at school at 10;45 to pick her up at 2:30 and have time inbetween the time gaps to do her homework and mine as well as study before work at 6 i will be a tired beezy but i know it will be worth it three years from now. if i grind at night pay off my last two things on my credit start saving and graduate college all while showing my kids and man i can do it and i will do it not just for myself but for them because nothing in this life is impossible when you wake up and realize you build your own potential no one else and i for once in my life want to prove to myself how strong i am .