#almost cried at first though
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Watching a thing...
#Daima#Dragon Ball Daima#DB Daima#all the asks I've gotten have been about this so I may as well try to get back to it#almost cried at first though#Still really missing my mom and it makes me think of her for some reason#Dragon Ball#Dragon Ball Z#Dragon Ball Super#DB#DBZ#DBS#Dragonball#Dragonball Z
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Battle Network 2 sucks, they sent my ass to France where I got robbed three times AND got my ass handed to me by a guy who called a ten year old a loser with no future
#Raoul kicked my ass so many times I almost cried#I had to go to bed pissed as hell because I couldn’t beat him after trying 20 times in a row#The chips are also worse than the first game and the healing system sucks#Unlockers are stupid and too expensive for how dogshit the chips they give#Seriously though I almost skipped right to bn3 because I couldn’t beat Raoul#Would you believe me if I told you I’m still having fun?#Im a masochist really#megaman#megaman battle network#battle network#mmbn#mega man#rockman
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character wrapped 2023 💥
tagged by @davidtennantpussytulpa ^-^ i didn't know how many to do so i copied tara and did top 10. i know the severance guys are Four Of Them but i can't separate them theyre all equally important to me
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will graham (hannibal), em haywood (nope), aziraphale (good omens), mark & dylan & helly & irving (severance), hawkeye pierce (mash), martha jones (doctor who), ivan karamazov (the brothers karamazov), kim kitsuragi (disco elysium), stewy hosseini (succession), ruescott melshi (andor/rogue one)
i will tag... @fagician @britomart @libraryfag @roadwhores @majorbaby @globuspolski @hadleyfraserfaggot @tenderscience if u want to ^-^
#and now i will explain them all in detail#cos i started watching hannibal back in like. january or february and will immediately set up camp in my head and started to settle there#*I* pay rent to *HIM*. he lives there permanently. sweating and monologuing constantly#em was not only the character of 2022 but also of 2023 and of 2024 and the rest of the decade and all decades to come#she had such an impact on me keke palmer's performance will live with me forever and i love nope so fucking much#i almost didnt include her because nope was more of a last year obsession. but she lives on#aziraphale.........no comment#severance.......i love them all so much and at first i wanted just irving and then just helly and then i realise i cried over mark this week#and then i realised i couldnt possibly leave out dylan when hes probably my favourite character. so then i settled for all of them#hawkeye is my fucking wife. enough said#martha... well i knew i had to have a doctor who character. i thought maybe the doctor but then i thought their companions mean more to me#sometimes at least. i did have a fourteen icon for a while but then i was like but Donna..... and then i thought. well#these past few months at least martha jones has been eating away at my heart. i go batshit insane when i think about her#her impact. her grace. her power. so she had to go on the list.it was a toss up between her and donna for sure though#then i figured i had to include a karamazov since reading that book took up half of my year. and ivan was my favourite of the 3. so <3#kim goes without saying. literally nothing to be said hes the character Of All Time. to me#stewy also goes without saying ive had so many Stewy Save Me moments since the beginning of season 4 all the way to the end of the year#i miss him every day. he is the moment. i wish there was more of him all the time#and the last one is a bit of a wildcard cos all my insanity abt melshi has been on my andor sideblog.#but rest assured ive been thoroughly Not Normal about him. he literally side appears in 4 episodes and has 11 total minutes onscreen#but i love him. so much. and hes occupied most of my thoughts since september. once again his impact his power his grace. his homosexuality#enough said. that's all. thanks for reading. this was a great year for autism and madness#tag game#🍪
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Been listening to the Graphic Audiobook of Fourth Wing. I kept thinking this version is not for me until the moment Violet sees Xaden .
The change in music , the change in the tone of her voice , I could almost imagine it being played in slow motion if it were a movie . The cinematic beauty of that scene is 😭😭😭😭
#i cant even with how cute it was#i almost cried#it was lovely#im only on ch2#die Jack !#even though I alread know what happens in IF#I'm still hoping Jack falls off the parapet#cant wait for the scene where violent wields her signet for the first time#riorrengail#fourth wing#rebecca yarros#xaden riorson#violet sorrengail#graphic audio#dramatized adaptation#Audiobook#riorgail
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oh my goodness your dios.. what a delight to see someone so fully invested in phantom blood dio wow. i am very happy. i love your 3D dios. really makes me want to sculpt him as well
Do it... clay is cheap bake it in the oven paint with 10 dollar set of acrylics your life will never be better. I adore phantom blood Dio so very much... years ago saw someone coin the term “phantom blood purist” and it's so funny I think about it literally every time I enter a Dio cycle. There are many aspects that go into this preference of course, and upon a great amount of time pondering i can say confidently that this is because mainly that:
1) I love history (especially the fin de siècle) and I love thinking about him in relation to Victorian values/etiquette/sociology in general... there's something so special about a society that enabled such a gross disparity of wealth&poverty while being so inherently pretentious that its asinine etiquette rules would completely elude you unless you were raised in an aristocratic family or had access to etiquette books. Dio absolutely read a great amount of these before going to the Joestar mansion btw, even before his father snuffed it I think. God help him he would not be doomed to look like a slovenly ill-bred gamin if and when he needed to manipulate the upper classes. I really can't think of a way for him to have developed these skills enough to outclass Jonathan otherwise. god and like thinking about him as a barrister too with his profligate fashion sense you just KNOW he gets drawn that way into all of the court sketches that go in all the newspapers since everyone loved to read about crime and there were a million papers for this in England alone... he'd get caricatured so bad sometimes and he is NOT happy about this.
2) You can probably tell from my indifference to the rest of the parts (except sbr; I call this the "diego rule") that I'm not the biggest fan of fantastical elements and I'm much more interested in interpersonal conflict/relationships in general... PB is extremely unique to the rest of the series because for five WHOLE chapters absolutely nothing abnormal happens and we just get to see Dio harassing Jonathan and his girlfriend until Jonathan snaps and humiliates him so bad in beating him up that he makes Dio cry. and then Dio kills his dog. Like it's literally just some impoverished child abuse victim bullying a spoiled rich kid who wanted to be his friend because lalala sunshine daisies only knows what "poverty" is from reading Oliver Twist and has no conceptual understanding of what the real-world implications of that are. That was the character development that needed multiple chapters to develop it's so fucking awesome. like yeah I'd read an entire novel of just this alone happening and how it impacts their relationship as adults no vampirism needed. I reread "dio the invader" so frequently I'm surprised the spine of my jojonium copy isn't cracked at the exact endpoint of it. I just adore him interacting with Jonathan so much it's hard to remove him from that… that's his FOIL... all the stories (some "AUs") I make with Dio involve the way he and Jonathan gravitate each other to some degree. we get the clearest view of who he is in the face of someone who is the polar opposite of himself. 🤯
2) This iteration of him is the closest degree of separation he has from his "humanity" (childhood), thus
3) I find him to be the most interesting, endearing, etc., version of him walking around, given that... well. behaviors stem from somewhere... the thematic & active severance of himself from a species he is fundamentally incapable of connecting with due to the way he adapted to help him tolerate his childhood... from his point of view I can't imagine that there is one convincing reason for him to continue being human after given the opportunity to deviate from it (despite likely still being inebriated when he vamped himself — very much an impulsive decision since he had, what, an hour or two to think that through? drunk?). If everyone's underneath him, yes, after the fact the choice seems extremely fitting. Maybe he'll cultivate a vast swathe of worshippers and disciples that obey his every command. Maybe he'll rule the world. And then, maybe, he will start to feel genuinely content for the first time in his life. But probably not. That's the drawback of having something fundamentally missing from within you.
4) He lacks a certain type of introspective awareness that 100 years alone in a box might enable him to develop... he's very animalistic to me and possesses a precarious/immature/nonexistent grasp on his emotions just given the fact that he exhibits enraged outbursts from perceived ego wounds (in both childhood and adulthood) + struggles with alcoholism due to an incapacity to self-soothe any sort of negative emotion that makes it past the self-aggrandizing filter he can't help but see life through; he really isn't in conscious control of anything happening inside of him despite needing control over everything and everyone so he can get exactly what he wants, and deserves, always. PB paints a very dim and pathetic view of his character by allowing us to see when he's most "vulnerable", which is the thing he likely hates being the most, so getting to see scenes where he's walking around publicly intoxicated and disparaging himself for acting like his father (implied: again), who he hates, and attacking men with a wine bottle for evoking the concept of his mother, who he also kind of hates but lacks the cognizant cogency to dissolve whatever cognitive dissonance is causing this mental incongruence, rules. he rules
tl;dr SDC dio is "iconic" but I feel like he misses a lot of the charm he had in part one, removed from the context of the society that had such rigid social boundaries and rules of decorum, in addition to his maladaptive approach to interpersonal relationships, his substance abuse issues, his humbling foil... he's too "cool" for me. In the end SDC dio is simply not my Dio... he is someone else's Dio. And that's okay.
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#lucy art#dio brando#ask#jjba#I've said this elsewhere but somewhere out there exists my dio-obsessed doppelganger who only likes him in parts 3/6 and dislikes PB dio +#how he looks in the first part too and if we ever made physical contact the universe would implode like matter on antimatter#though I haven't actually read sdc in many years. which may be part of the problem. but also... I don't need it... jonathan isn't there...!#I did however reread the ending the other day and I forgot that jotaro gives him brain damage so bad he couldn't walk. I almost cried#soooo cute... I wish something similar happened when he was shot in the head before being burned alive#well no I don't because the narrative point was to showcase wow oohhh wow vampire powers wowwww and it worked very well#but araki retconned this in the best way possible so basically life is perfect#(acting really approachable as I dip my toe into a fandom of something I've cherished for years) have you considered dio getting more TBIs?
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beaut 🐎 🍂
#new car!! but I’m mourning my old one#I’ve cried twice about it pls#sentimental to a fucking fault#everyone should start out with a used little car with a cd player she was so beat up but so loved#cars been there for the last six years through so many moments#happy and sad and tears loss and laughter#she held up and protected us through so much#so many deep talks and star watching and laughter in that car#so much damn food eaten in there (and spilled)#bared witness to a lot but she needed more work than I could do and it was time#I would’ve made my friend take her if I knew I would be this sad about it#it’ll get easier though just feels like a loss of a friend right now#they said she was going to auction not destroyed so maybe she'll be someone else's first car#new babe is badass she’s so beautiful#will fill her with memories too#she can’t ever replace her but I love her already and I’m excited for all the adventures we’ll see together#right in time for fall too#have to decorate her and put love into her like the other#idk how to act with a brand new car my other one had like 125000 miles like huh!#my radio didn’t even work (again)#| miss her little crusty ass!!!!!#here's to a new season though of change and growth and feeling safe out there 🖤🧿#(almost got a green one but it wasn’t the right shade in the sun) but she was pretttty#saw the most delicious green one with big olllll tires maybe in the future
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Born to be chauffeured around, forced to drive.
#girl I almost cried driving on the interstate in the rain#made my husband swap with me even though I had barely driven#love the freedom of cars and I like driving in my town fine enough#interstate driving??? honey no#also I am an awful copilot that will fall asleep at the first sign of stressful traffic as a way to self soothe
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I loved GRIS so I had to play Neva.
This game is even more beautiful, less melancholic, and the achievements are easier to unlock.
In short, I loved and recommend it too 💕
And yes, it also made me cry a lot.
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#neva#my screenshots#neva screenshots#see the 9th image though? I almost cried because of how frustrating this part was#it’s not that hard I simply wasn’t doing it right (and knew I was most likely the problem)#but oh my god I hated it the first time and spent at least 30 minutes of it#I replayed it again later and it went fine#that made me feel better#I was done doing all those jumps (from here to the next fight) in like 2 minutes#tip: don’t jump too early after those monsters explode because you won’t go as high#I played it on switch by the way
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sleepy g.rimmer I think about you every day
#ash rambles 💚#spring memories 🥪#morning voice... sjdhqjdhw sleepy noises... his little yawns...ajdhwjdhsjdhwnshwhsjwhenqgdhqhsjwhejwhejhwheh#also. i know he's like stupidly tall and that's his whole thing but. rotate the blanket??#methinks Ash doesn't go to sleep until she's sure her boyfriends are tucked in comfy#he's so cute..#he's so dreamy too sjdhsjhd and i love his voice#dammit now I'm getting sleepy too#a nap would be good...#...#ash no#no naps#must play y.akuza-#oh right. went back to school today... it was fine and my professors are cool. i just... don't want to- but hey that's life and all that#back to G.rimmer#waking up next to him.. he's not very used to cuddles but ash likes snuggling him. he's a little awkward at first but he warms up to it#also because he thinks that ash is really cute. he's never met anyone quite like her and that's what really drew him to her#along with them both being journalists and all that#he never really realized that he was in love because he's not sure what love is supposed to feel like because of his past#he just knows that he wants more of her (and their other boyfriend)#what the three of them have isn't conventional and ash always tells g.rimmer that he doesn't have to label what they have. and even though#love is a little differenr for g.rimmer than it is for ash#they love each other so much and have such a loving relationship built on trust and communication#and a shared desire to kiss T.enma LMAAOOO that's OUR boyfriend!!!!!#ash and g.rimmer are also my only ship to have an age gap more than a few years. ash is near k.enzo's age so there's almost a decade there#ofc ash is in her 30s and he's in his 40s and they only just met and i swear there's nothing creepy going on but it does make for an#interesting dynamic to write! also ash teases him for being old- ash.. ash he's 44-#and the three of them get to grow old together because canon is mine now. i.. that one episode with g.rimmer... i cried. so much.#it's okay. he's happy with his beloved girlfriend and beloved boyfriend. his lovely partners <3#one to ten 🩺
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Rest in peace Mateo, I'll miss you
#my cat mateo#the last photo is the last one i have of him the day he died.#as you can see he was not doing well#im just glad i was upstairs when he finally passed because i would have started bawling#he was the first cat my family got back on March 16 2017#we got him and Pepperoni at almost the same time (pepperoni came home the day after)#ive always talked about them being brothers even though theyre not related and now pepperoni has lost his brother#midnight has lost his brother and everyone else lost their uncle#the plan is to take him to my grandparents to bury him in their backyard#my brother is planning to make a marker for him#i am slightly worried for my brother because he has claimed Mateo as his for years and now hes gone#and he couldnt do anything to help him#he bought a bunch of jack daniels after he took mareo to the vet and they said there was little they could do#i cried holding pepperoni for like an hour at least last night#and i keep seeing Whiskey and thinking shes Mateo because they look kinda similar#mateo is sitting in a box on the back deck while we wait for it to warm up enough to dig his grave#hes wrapped up and hes got a can of food with him#i just dont know what to do#i keep being fine all day but then night comes and everything makes me think of him and i start crying again#i just wish i could have done something to ease his pain. to help him
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#i think getting nearly firecracker-bombed the other evening affected me more than i realized at the time#because this has been by far the worst new year's ever for me#in the past i was never more than mildly annoyed by it and even enjoyed the midnight fireworks climax#but i think i might have actually gotten a bit traumatized by that experience two days ago#and hadn't acknowledged it to myself / processed it. as today/tonight has demonstrated#it's past 3 a.m. now and i'm still crying too hard to sleep#and my whole body has been shaky for the past... 10 hours. or so.#even though the fireworks at midnight weren't really that bad at all#not even close to being as terrifying as the three explosions earlier this evening#which in their turn were easily outdone by the street explosion on saturday night that deafened me#i think i may be having a legit delayed trauma response to that now#re-triggered every time a firework goes off near me#i've never been someone who feels much fear#i feel stress and anger and discomfort and i worry and overthink sometimes#i've done a lot of things in my life while thinking 'well. this might be about to kill me. but we all die someday'#and never till this weekend did i feel terror on this level#(a technically unjustified terror too. bc inside my flat i'm almost 100% safe. so that again suggests a trauma response)#i don't think i've ever cried from sheer fear for my safety before#and every post i see saying 'happy new year' makes me feel sick bc it reminds me of this horrible weekend#it's wild how my lifelong feelings about fireworks could change so completely in the course of just three days#for the first time in my life i feel the need for one of those drugs that blunts your emotions and helps relax you#what is that... xanax or something like that? how do you get it? do you need a prescription?#i feel like a doctor would just scoff if i told them that NYE fireworks traumatized me so bad i need medication now#i've been trembling for hours. i'm so tired. i wish i could sleep#*three days ago
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yesterday was the last day i’ll see my best friend in my program for a MONTH and it’s so sad. we had a really really nice time genuinely the nicest time and i left feeling very secure and happy and loved. but that was the 13th of dec . and i don’t think ill see him again until the 12th of jan. which is FOUR horrible long weeks. and i miss him so much already. and he’s terrible at texting too so :(
#but it’s also so funny bc he’s like. very much not a physical touch dude he does NAURT like hugs#our friend hugs him bc i think she’s trying to socialize him like a dog but i know he hates it#he does not will not hug people and so even though I’M a HUGE physical touch person i never ever give him hugs#bc i respect his boundaries and feelings !!!! obviously#so whenever we say goodbye it’s just a goodbye without anything else. and it’s cool like yeah that’s just how it is#but last night when we were about to say goodbye. he hugged me ;—; ;—; ;—;#he never ever ever offers. and he did. because he knows I’M a touch guy. and bc it’ll be a month til i see him next#and so he held out his arms and said bring it in because he is first and foremost a cishetwhitemidwesternboy. and i was so so soso so happy#and he put his arms around me and hugged me. and i almost cried real tears then and there.#and besides that we had just a really really really good night together and i like feeling so comfortable and vulnerable and trusted#and i like how stupid ridiculous silly funny he is.#i love him.
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My friend is leaving for a different state and I don't know what to feel
#its not like we meet that often either#we met once in the last two years#We weren't on talking terms for a year too#and yet yet i love her too much#she stopped talking to me for no reason and later during her birthday i texted her a long message she replied too and.. that's it#again during my birthday she sent me a huge text and i cried and i called her the next day#she was so skeptical about starting over again and almost disconnected the call#all because i simply told her that it will never be the Same again and that I'll always have the fear that she's gonna leace#*leave#yet we started talking again#though I'm the one doing most of the talking part#and guess what? this is not the first time this has happened. she stopped talking to me out of nowhere a few times before too#it took her months :)#does she still hold too much power over me? yes#would I die for her? yes#what am i on tonight omg i need to get a life#sorry having a moment#had to get that out#idk what to feel anymore#i want to die#abhi rants
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#sock never JOINED US because they FORGOT even though i reminded them 1 BAJILLION times#whuen this icon first came out i almost cried . i was likeno way . fish
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This might not be anything, but while writing about your fics, the way you have the characters' mannerisms down PERFECTLY got me thinking about mirroring...
There's a lot of it in 7 (Horii is a directorial genius etc etc), most of it more intentional than these probably are, but there's something so interesting about mirroring that takes the tone of a (relatively) fond memory, a familiar gesture, and inverts it in the way shown here.
OH I'M GLAD YOU'VE NOTICED THESE TOO I think I mentioned it months back (or I drafted a post 'bout it but didn't think it was anything noteworthy) but I always really did like how the Arakawa Family mimicked each other's mannerisms (also circling back to how Jo and Masato calling Ichiban 'Ichi' presumably after picking it up from Arakawa)!
Aoki actually does the same sitting gesture too! I went back to double check and skim through the rest of the game's cutscenes, and as far as I could tell unless I skipped a scene, it really is only these three that do this specific pose:
It's such a small detail but I love it immensely and it really does highlight their connections with each other and it drives me insane
#snap chats#the fact aoki holds his left fist with his right like jo..... im gonna be sick... (crying)#potential hints that aoki really does favor jo and/or spends more time with him... or i might be delirious. could be both even..#focusing on how jo mimics arakawa though i dont think i have to say i love how it is inverted intention wise#like of course in arakawa's situations he's in a position where he's helping ichi and speaking calmly with him#while with jo Evidently each interaction is more tense and antagonistic#really is a cool way to emphasize that whole 'step parent' angle if that makes sense#OH BUT THANK YOU ON MY WRITING that's a huge compliment: i'm glad you think i have their mannerisms down !#accuracy is a big thing to me... in case we haven't picked that up yet.... i should relax a little tbh--#BUT i'd like to think my brain's good at visualizing things and i think i've 'studied' enough to get an acceptable result in what i show#it's like... if i can't see it in my head clearly or it doesn't look right then i wanna keep trying until it DOES look right yk#dont want a Hello Kitty Wouldnt Do Xanax moment... only on occasion.... a lil xanax wouldnt hurt as long as its not too far gone ☠️#alright im. DELIRIOUS.#to end this off i watched the first episode of Sailor Suit and Machine Gun !#my japanese is. HORRENDOUS BUT the art of inference and context clues and stray knowledge got me through it#i'm excited to watch the next episode even if i'm only really getting half the impact from the dialogue#BUT THE FEELING'S THERE... the emotion's there#embarrassingly i almost cried when izumi was crying in the theater over her dad while she was eating cause like Girl Me Too ☠️☠️#ill go one day without mentioning my dad i promise... todays not that day tho ☠️#IN ANY CASE. thank you for droppin the episodes on me !! i can't stress never tiring of having new things to watch#ill watch the next episode tonight probably. i was gonna go out to get lunch buuuut my moms home#so there goes that plan.. at least my bro got me food while /he/ went out today lmao
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Today at school I saw a girl with South Park badges on her backpack and I almost died of excitement RAHHH 😭
#the only good thing about this first day tbh#i almost cried but everything is fine 🔥#I ALSO SAW ANOTHER GIRL WEARING A KURT COBAIN T-SHIRT#GOD I WANT TO MEET THOSE PPL BUT I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO SAY HELLO#maybe i could say “hello hello hello how low”#/nirvana ref#what the flip did i just say#when I saw the girl in question I shouted “KENNY”#and then STAN KYLE BUTTERS-#she didn't have Cartman though 😭#hisssss people#at least I have a friend of mine to survive 👍🏻#and my Craig and Kenny badges :3#i missed the talk for my class anyway lmao#little rant while i hide from society#me core#south park
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