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cpd5021 · 4 years ago

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A collection of kisses...

Thanks to @thetwit for sending in these prompts! From the Kiss List I reblogged.

“4, 12, 20 & 48 together, 45.”

Enjoy!!

4. An accidental brush of lips followed by a pause and going back for another, on purpose.

Of course Jay would be the one to pick me up from the airport. It has been a long two months away in New York and I was more than ready to be home. Knowing Jay would be the one waiting for me only made my excitement grow. We had talked every day that I was gone, sometimes even multiple times a day, but it just wasn’t the same as being in the same room. Not to say that I wasn’t feeling a little nervous about seeing him in person after some of our recent conversations. The distance, mixed with some lack of sleep on my part and alcohol on his, had led to some interesting conversations. The time apart made me realize just how strong the feelings I held for him were and apparently it had had a similar effect on him. Not that either one of us had come right out and said it, but it was heavily implied by both of us. I trudged through the crowds of people, hauling my heavy suitcase behind me as I scanned the crowd for his face. Finally, I spotted him in the near distance and the pace my heartrate increased too caused my breath to catch in my throat. Or maybe that was the smile he gave me when he noticed I was heading his way. I closed the gap between us, unable to wipe the huge grin off my face and loving that his face mirrored mine. Before I knew what was happening, he threw his arms out and pulled me into a hug. This was new for us, we had never been this close, unless you count the time in the van we were getting shot at. But this was different. His strong arms held me tightly and I found myself melting into him a little more than I should. His cologne drifted into my nose and I realized just how good he actually smelled. My own arms were wrapped around his neck, holding him just as tightly. Almost at the same time, we realized our hug was surpassing the length acceptable by two friends and both pulled away. I turned my head to speak just as he did the same, our close proximity causing the corners of our mouths to brush ever so slightly. Despite the brief contact, my body reacted almost instantaneously. I pulled back, my face blushing a bright red, deepening when I saw his do the same. His arms never left my waist, my own arms staying clasped behind his shoulders. We shared the same look, one analyzing the situation and the others reaction, one asking for permission. Whatever he was looking for, he must have found it because I watched as he slowly lowered his face towards mine, hesitating for just a moment to make sure I wasn’t going to stop him, before his lips finally met mine. The second his mouth met mine, everything around me faded. The air in my lungs halted yet my heart threatened to beat out of my chest. I drew myself out of the trance and eagerly returned his kiss, throwing all caution to the wind as I used my arms to pull him closer. He returned my enthusiasm, his tongue gently dancing across my lower lip, asking for entrance that I immediately granted. After who knows how long, he finally pulled away, smiling down at me with a huge grin plastered across his face.

“Welcome home Hailey.”

12. Sneaking away to a hidden corner to share a secretive kiss.

“Jay? What are you doing?”

I hissed as he tightly gripped my upper arm, tugging me along beside him down the hall way to the locker room. He sent me a quick glance, a mischievous glint in his eyes, but otherwise didn’t respond. We stumbled through the doorway side by side, Jay moving so fast I was struggling to keep up, and he tugged me all the way to the back of the room before spinning me to face him. His mouth was twisted up into a devilish grin and I barely had time to register what he was doing before his lips were on mine. The force of his kiss caused me to take a step back and my head bumped into the wall behind me. The sudden impact made a gasp fall from my mouth and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue between my lips, causing me to moan into him. The sound only spurred him on more and suddenly his hands were gripping my waist, his fingers teasing the exposed skin just below my shirt. I melted into his touch, wrapping my arms around his neck to pull him closer. Finally, when my lungs were burning for air, I pulled back, feeling my face flush from his intense stare.

“Sorry...” He mumbled, placing a quick kiss on the corner of my mouth. “I just really needed to kiss you.”

His words sent heat shooting through my core and I wished we were anywhere but work right now. I drew my bottom lip between my teeth, biting down as I played with the short hairs at the base of his neck.

“Well now I’m going to be distracted all day...”

I whispered, stretching up to brush my lips against his ear as I spoke.

“It’ll just make tonight that much better.”

He teased, placing one more peck on my lips before separating us and turning to leave the locker room. I took a minute to compose myself, my face still burning red from our moment, before I returned to the bull pen behind him.

20. Kissing in a stairwell, giving them an artificial height difference and 48. One person has to bend down in order to kiss their partner, who is standing on their tip-toes to reach their partner’s.

It was late now, having spent all day working a case that proved to be near impossible to crack. Everyone had been forced to stay well past their regular time but finally it was time to go home. Nearly everyone else had already left the district, as it was almost 11pm. Jay and I were the last from Intelligence to leave, having run point on the case we had been stuck with most of the paperwork. We grabbed our things and slowly headed down the back stairwell leading to the roll up, Jay had parked in the back this morning so this was the fastest route. My feet dragged underneath me as I followed sluggishly behind him. He paused in front of me, turning to look at me with a quizzical look on his face. When I returned his look, confused by his sudden halt, he laughed.

“Earth to Hailey, did you fall asleep back there?”

I rolled my eyes at his statement, earning another chuckle.

“I’m not that tired.”

I huffed, raising my eyebrows at him in mock annoyance.

“Oh so you’re just ignoring me then?”

He challenged, only confusing me more.

“Huh?”

I leaned back against the wall of the stairwell, feeling my exhaustion from the day settling in the longer we stood here.

“I asked what you wanted to do for dinner. Twice...”

He took a step closer to me, causing me to tilt my head up to face him and noting a smirk spread across his face.

“Oh, maybe I was distracted.”

I teased, his close proximity igniting something within me and pushing the tiredness away.

“Sorry, are my good looks to much for you?”

He bantered, looking smug as he placed a hand on the wall behind my head.

“You wish.”

I bantered back, placing my hands on his chest to grip his shirt. I tilted my head up, letting my eyes trail down to his lips before returning to his eyes, seeing a new darkness swirl within them. When he didn’t move fast enough for my liking, I stretched up onto my tiptoes to initiate the kiss I so desperately craved. He bent down, immediately returning my kiss, winding his hand behind my head to hold me closer as he deepened the kiss. Despite him bending down, I still had to stand on tiptoe to reach his mouth. I gently pushed against his chest, causing him to take a step down, his lips never leaving mine. With him one notch lower I was able to clasp my hand around his neck, kissing him deeper still as we were now an even height. His hands gripped my waist, pulling my lower half closer to him. I could feel his arousal growing within his jeans and knew we needed to get out of here, quick. I gave him one more heated kiss before pulling away, gazing into his lust filled eyes through my own heavy eyelids. He placed a kiss against my cheek before reaching down to grasp my hand, pulling me along after him. Both of us forgetting our exhaustion as we raced to his truck.

45. Kisses exchanged as they move around, hitting the edges of tables or nearly tripping over things on the floor before making it to the sofa, or bed.

The drive to his place took what felt like forever, but we finally reached his building. Stumbling up the stairwell, to impatient to wait for the elevator, our hands never left the other person as they roamed up and down torsos and chests, eager for the deeper touch that was about to come. Jay pressed me against his front door, fumbling for his keys as I trailed kisses up and down his neck. Finally he managed to get it unlocked, his arm wrapping around my back as we stumbled into the dark apartment. He pushed the door shut behind us and this time it was me pressing him against the door, tugging at his shirt as our kiss deepened. We broke apart just long enough for me to pull it over his head before our lips were crashing back into each others. He spun me around, pushing me into the wall beside his door as his mouth assaulted my neck. He tugged my shirt off quickly, tossing it on the floor beside his as we started to stumble down the short hallway towards the rest of his apartment. Between the darkness and neither of us paying attention to our surroundings, we bumped into a side table, knocking its contents loudly onto the floor. The commotion didn’t stop us as we continued on our path. I started to pull him down the hall towards his bedroom, desperate to take this farther, but he shook his head against my lips.

“Too far.” He mumbled into my mouth, leading me towards the couch. He walked backwards, leading the way towards his living room. I tripped slightly on the rug under his couch, causing us both to fall onto the piece of furniture. Jay brought me down on his lap in one fell motion, my legs straddling his waist as his clothed arousal pressed into my core. His fingers worked at my jeans, before they deftly made their way under the fabric. Jay glanced over towards the rest of his couch, noting a small stack of books on the cushion which he quickly swept onto the floor before flipping me onto my back and hovering over me. There was going to be a mess to pick up once we were done, but at the moment, neither of us cared.

#chicago pd #chicago pd fanfiction #halstead and upton #jay halstead #hailey upton #halstead #jay x hailey #upstead #upton #prompt #prompt list

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kumeko · 4 years ago

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A/N: I’m having fun writing this. Part 3 of the @marveltrumpshate fic I wrote for @wombatking

Summary: There was something luxurious about waking up at 7:30am, to an empty room, with an empty bathroom, and the kitchen all to herself. Kitty hit the jackpot.

…

There was something luxurious about waking up at 7:30am. Absolutely luxurious. Kitty wanted nothing more than to sprawl over her bed, languidly stretching before she finally rolled off. Unfortunately, her right leg was a dead weight to all of this, so she had to settle for lazily yawning and spreading her arms above her. The birds had been awake for hours, her dormmates equally so, and she had the most glorious sleep. She hadn’t even noticed when Rogue had left for training, her roommate for once not waking her up with her extensive morning prep.

For a girl who claimed that she didn’t care what others thought of her, she spent an awfully long time in front of the mirror. Kitty chuckled at the thought. Rogue was full of strange contradictions and the more she learned, the more she liked. It was strange to think that at one point they’d fought like cats and dogs.

Well, if Kitty were honest, they still fought sometimes now, but they always made up after.

It was harder than she expected, to get off the bed. Her leg felt weird, her movements even more so—her legs didn’t feel in sync, her left far too light and quick, her right too slow and heavy. Walking was a strange hop and dance. Dressing even more so. She half-wished she had Velcro pants, like the ones Spike used for his stupid “my pants ripped off!” joke. The only problem was that they were ugly. On the bright side, she was more than used to putting a little pain in for her fashion.

As she passed by a window, she caught sight of Jean and Amara running through the obstacle course, sweaty and tired. “Glad that’s not me,” she murmured, grinning as she stepped into the for-once-empty bathroom.

She’d been wrong. The best part of her broken leg wasn’t sleeping in, it was the fact that there was no rush. No one knocked on the door, asking her to get out. Kitty didn’t have to bounce impatiently on her feet, waiting for the door to open so she could rush in. Nope, the bathroom was all hers, for however long she wanted.

So was the kitchen, so was the tv—if she’d realized how good it was, she’d have broken her leg ages ago. Maybe in six weeks she could break the other one. Chewing on a piece of toast, she idly flipped through the channels. News, weather, Say Yes to the Dress, Psycho—

“Ready to go?” Scott said, suddenly appearing behind her.

Kitty almost dropped her toast, surprised. Instinctively, she turned off the TV, flushing a bright red. “I, that—” She wasn’t even sure why she was feeling flustered. This was fine! Technically allowed! No one expected otherwise!

Yet it was one thing to relax when no one was around, and another to do it in front of her slightly sweaty housemate. Scott’s hair might be carefully combed, but his skin still had a light sheen to it from all the exercise. Noticing her stare, he cocked his head. “What’s wrong?”

He’d always been a slightly dense brick. Fighting back her embarrassment, Kitty scarfed down her toast and stood up. “N-nothing. Let’s go.”

“Alright then. I pulled my car up front, so just slip in.” Scott picked up her backpack and slung it over his shoulder. “You know, instead of a reality show, you should try watching the news.”

If Kitty could have, she would have stomped to the car.

-x-

“Hey girl!” Kitty got no other warning before a pair of slightly tanned arms wrapped around her neck, hugging her tight. Tabitha pressed her cheek against Kitty’s, her messy hair tickling her neck. As usual, her perfume was as loud as she was. “Heard you got hurt.”

“Tabitha!” Kitty laughed, leaning into her friend. She’d been getting lonely anyways, sitting in the playground as she was. Kurt had gone to get lunch and unfortunately the track team wasn’t practicing, so she couldn’t even stare at them. “Did Amara tell you?”

“Didn’t have to, I have eyes.” Tabitha let go and rested her hands on her hips. “I hear Blue is now two for two for training accidents?”

“It was my fault this time, not his.” Kitty rubbed her neck sheepishly. To be honest, the other time hadn’t been entirely his fault either—Tabitha had a little to do with it. Gesturing at her leg, she explained, “I broke my leg, so now I’ve got that ugly thing.”

“I know training sucks, but I didn’t think you’d go that far to get out.” Tabitha whistled as she saw the cast. “Damn, that’s clunky.”

“I know, right! It’s like I have snowpants or something.” Kitty rapped on the top of her cast. “It’s so thick! I don’t want to know what’ll smell like after all of this heat.”

“You’re lucky it isn’t summer, or you’d be roasting in it.” Tabitha scrunched her nose, her lips curling with disgust. “Broke my arm once, on a job, and not only was I utterly useless after, I reeked like Toad.”

“Seriously?” Kitty didn’t have to ask to know what sort of ‘job’ she was referring to. Wincing, she looked at her cast again. Tabitha had to be exaggerating, right? “It’s not that bad, right? I can’t get it off for six weeks. I don’t want to deal with smell on top of everything.”

“Just spray some perfume on it.” Tabitha winked. She mimed spraying it on. “Works like a charm.”

“Eww.” Kitty glared at the offending cast, her heart sinking. Just how stinky could the thing get? She groaned. “So either I smell like Toad or a flowershop.”

“Hey, the choice is yours.” Tabitha grinned, shrugging. “I bet Logan won’t like either smell.”

“I don’t think Rogue or Kurt will like it either.” Resigning herself to her fate, she hoped they’d still hang around her after six weeks were up.

“Cheer up, it’s not that bad. You get a lot of sympathy goodies.” Tabitha crouched next to the cast, a marker in hand. She started doodling something, just out of Kitty’s sight. “People open doors for you, give you seats, sometimes even food—”

“You shouldn’t eat things strangers give you,” Kitty warned, worried about that last one. Sometimes, she was amazed Tabitha made it to high school. More often, though, she was impressed the school hadn’t burned to the ground multiple times, considering her short temper. “And what’re you drawing?”

“You’ll see!” Tabitha replied cheekily, her brow furrowed as she finished her masterpiece.

Kitty rolled her eyes. “Fine, keep your secrets.”

“I’m pretty good at that, ask anyone.” Tabitha smirked up at her. “How’re the geeks taking this? Bet Logan ain’t happy.”

“They’re like, the only bad part.” Kitty grimaced, remembering Scott’s lectures. And she had to get a ride from him for the next six weeks—her mornings were going to be so ruined. “I swear, Scott and Jean won’t shut up about it, and Logan’s just counting down the days till he can make me suffer again.”

Tabitha stood up now, laughing. “Sounds like ‘em.” Hand on her hip, she gave her a wry look. “Honestly, you should just ditch that whole scene and join me. It might not be the best place to stay, but it’s the funnest.”

There was absolutely no way Kitty was staying in that rundown house the brotherhood claimed was ‘livable’. She’d been there a handful of times, and each time she wasn’t sure how the place hadn’t been torn down. At the very least, it had to be filled with lice or something. “I’m not that desperate.”

“Yet.” Tabitha pocketed her marker and waved before waltzing away. “Lemme know if you change your mind.”

“Not happening!” Kitty laughed, watching as a garbage bin exploded.

-x-

Kitty lay on her bed, examining her cast by her tablelamp light. It was, perhaps, the first time she’d gotten to use that thing without having to cram for a test or something. Today was actually full of firsts—she finished her homework without having to rush, she had dinner on time, and hey, she saw an episode of her favourite drama on time instead of catching a rerun.

Even now, she was lying in her bed, at 11pm, and not bone-tired for once. Across the room, Rogue snored lightly as she slept, too tired from training to complain about the light. The house was utterly silent at that this time and if it weren’t for the lights-out rules, she’d have snuck around to see just how different the house was at night.

For now, she bent over her cast, running her fingers along the different signatures she’d collected. After Tabitha had signed it, the rest of her friends popped in, one after another, all ready to make a mark. The once white cast was now a collage of signatures and messages. Rogue had written her name in purple ink, with nothing else added to it, and Kitty couldn’t figure out if it was because she didn’t have anything she wanted to write, or if it was because she was too embarrassed to put anything.

Feel better soon, Honey, Kurt had written in blue ink, and Kitty smiled as she pressed her fingers on the pink heart he’d drawn beside his name. It was utterly cheesy, but she liked that about Kurt.

There was a picture of a grumpy Logan next to Spike’s name, and Kitty covered her mouth to muffle her laughter. He was a terrible artist, and that only made it funnier. Logan was either a furious hedgehog or he was some new evolution of a bear. Definitely not human, at the very least.

Finally finished with all the easy to read signatures, Kitty leaned forward and strained her neck to see what was on the back of her cast. More importantly, to see what Tabitha had spent so long drawing. Biting her tongue and squinting, she could just make out the picture.

It was a dick.

Of course it was. She flopped back on her bed, and silently swore revenge.

#xmen #kurtty #kitty pryde #kurt wagner #xmen evolution #nightcrawler #shadowcat #fanfic

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themagicaltunaa · 4 years ago

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Answer all the questions

well i have nothing to do so sure

1. What have you eaten today?

some toast for breakfast, leftovers for lunch, and some cereal for dinner

2. Who was your last kiss with? Was it pleasant?

never kissed anyone, don't really care about that

3. What color shoes did you last wear?

light grey sneakers

4. Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week?

Jeremy did, when I was watching his Alien Isolation stream on monday

5. What is your favorite scent?

I love the smell freshly baked goods

6. What is your favorite season? Why?

I love fall. I just love the aesthetic of the season, and my favorite holiday is during fall. I would love to experience it one day

7. Can you do a handstand or cartwheel?

lol nope. I was barely able to do it as a kid. If I tried now i’m pretty sure i’ll break something.

8. What color are your nails?

the regular pink color? I don’t paint my nails

9. If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be?

aw geez, uhhh idk maybe like a tiny star or something

10. What is something you find romantic?

i dont know romantic things

11. Are you happy?

12. Is there anything in particular making you happy or sad?

no not really

13. Dogs or Cats?

cats. i like dogs too, but sometimes they’re too much to deal with. i’m more comfortable being with cats

15. Which do you prefer:a museum, a night club, the forest or a library?

museum

15. What is your style?

my style is “im trying”

16. If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be?

stay up all night to catch up on videos

17. Are you in a relationship or single?

single babeyyyy

18. What makes you attracted to the person you like right now?

nothing, because im not attracted to anyone

19. If you could replace your partner/best friend with a celebrity of your choice, would you? Who with?

i dont like celebrities

20. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of? If so then what?

i’m pretty sure i’m holding on to a lot of stuff, but I can’t seem to remember anything specific. if this question means metaphorically, the answer still works

21. How did you celebrate last Halloween?

I went to a drive thru haunted house with my 2 friends, and after we got some taco bell and went to the beach to eat our food. we sat there for like 10 minutes before it started to rain on us

22. Have you recently made any big decisions?

nope. I try not to in general , I hate having to make any sort of big decision because I starting stressing

23. Were you ever in a school play?

I’ve always had stage fright so no

24. What movie would you use to describe your life?

uhhhh, I dont watch enough movies to pick one

25. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

oh there’s plenty of things that I've dreamed of doing, but I just can’t do it because of anxiety

26. Complete this sentence, “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”

I dont like sharing

27. What are two things that irritate you about the same sex?

uhhh idk? maybe the whole makeup culture thing? but it’s not like it irritates me I just don’t get it. I can’t really think of a second thing

28. What are two things that irritate you about the opposite sex?

too much to list

29. What is the best thing that has happened to you this week?

fuck if i know

30. What is something that makes you sad when you think about it?

can’t think of anything rn

31. How long was your longest relationship?

never been in one

32. Have you ever been in love?

pretty sure I have not

33. Are you currently in love?

nope

34. Why did your last relationship end?

see question 31

35. What jewelry are you wearing right now, and where did you get it?

not wearing any atm. actually, I just don’t wear jewelry in general

36. When was the last time you cried and why?

I think it was last week? I don’t remember why, it was probably something stupid

37. Name someone pretty.

the anon that sent me this ask

38. What did you receive last Valentines Day?

oh! I got a few gifts from my bestie :)

39. Do you get jealous easily?

40. Have you ever been cheated on?

41. Do you trust your partner/best friend?

sure

42. Ever had detention?

no because I was a good bean in school

43. Would you rather live in the countryside or the city?

city. the countryside sounds nice, but just the thought of being out in the middle of nowhere especially at night makes me nervous

44. What do people call you?

by my name

45. What was the last book you read?

I do not remember. It’s been years since I’ve read a book

46. How big of a nerd/dork are you?

uhhh idk

47. What kind of music do you listen to?

anything that catches my fancy. I don’t really stick to one kind of genre

48. How tall are you?

my doctor said I’m allowed to say i’m 5′2

49. Do you like kids?

they’re alright. I can handle be around them for a bit, but I would never want to have any

50. Favorite fruits?

watermelon, starfruit, and tangerines

51. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

jeans

52. What’s your earliest memory?

I was like 3-4, and I was at disney world with my family. I remember seeing a stage show of Bear in the Big Blue house, and I remember walking around ToonTown when it still existed

53. Ever had a poem or song written about you or to you?

i hope not

54. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind it

55. Do you have a collection of anything?

I used to collect seashells as a kid and I still have some of the collection somewhere in my closet. I wanna start a new collection of something but idk what

56. Do you save money or spend it?

i try to save it

57. What would your dream house be like?

something cozy and not too big, with a cat or 2

58. What top 5 things make you the angriest?

its 11pm at the time of answering this, i really can’t think of anything to fill a list rn

59. What top 5 things always brings a smile to your face?

see the previous question

60. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

save the dog. i hate my job anyways so I don’t care

61. 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

I would definitely tell my closest friends, and some of my family members, probably my mom’s side of the family. If I had the money to, I would like to travel to some places that i’ve always wanted to go to. I would have a month to accept that i’m gonna die so i think i would be fine. i’d rather get plenty of time to know i’m dying rather than like last minute. this has been a topic that i’ve been thinking of for a while now, not because I’m like thinking about death or anything, I just need something to kill time with at work

62. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

a heart?

63. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

aw cmon, I can’t just think of stuff like that on the spot. I don’t even know where I would want to go

64. Do you like the beach?

It’s nice, especially in the early morning when everything is still calm and the beach isn’t packed with people yet

65. Ever sleep on the couch or a bed with someone special?

no? wtf does someone special mean?

66. Do you have a middle name? If so what is it!

Doesn’t everyone have a middle name? But yeah i do and i hate it so im not saying anything

67. Do you talk to yourself?

in my head all the time

68. Describe your hair.

brown, curly, very long because I haven’t cut it in almost a year, it’s very annoying

69. What is the meaning of life.

I wish i knew

70. What is your ideal partner like?

no one

71. Do you want to get married?

72. Do you want to have kids?

ew no

73. Like or dislike your family?

they’re bearable

74. Are you Chunky or Slim?

I’m more than chunky, i’m just straight up fat

75. Would you consider yourself smart?

lol no. I’m an absolute dumbass

76. What would you change about your life?

everything if i could

77. Religious or Not?

no not really

78. You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

I don’t drink so this would never happen

79. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

it sure isnt because no one is there

80. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

uhhhh no. I don’t really care tbh

81. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

idk

82. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

i’m not opening the door because no one is there

83. Do you like when people play with your hair?

ehh not really. It’ll just make it frizzy

84. Do you like bubble baths?

85. Have you ever been pulled over by a cop?

I need to drive in order for that to happen

86. Have you ever danced in the rain?

no. its not fun getting soaked in the rain

87. Do you trust anyone with your life?

not really?

88. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?

why does god allow suffering

89. If money wasn’t an issue, what top 10 places would you travel to? (You get to stay at each place for a week)

1.greece

2. peru

3.disney world only because I have not been to all the parks yet, also i can bug my brother while i’m there

theres a lot more but i’m too tired to fill out the rest of the list

90. How was your day today?

it was fine

91. Play an instrument?

used to play mellophone/french horn in band in high school. after I graduated I haven’t touched an instrument since

92. Describe the what you think of the ocean.

it’s scary

93. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

aliens as anything that counts as a living organism not of this world, not green little men from mars nonsense. the universe is too big for only life to be on earth. for ghosts, i’m still iffy about them, but that doesn’t mean i’m gonna start walking around haunted places and call the ghosts a bitch

94. Honestly, are things how you wanted them to be?

abosolutely not. every day I regret all the decisions i’ve made through my life. does that mean I’m trying to fix said mistakes or try not to do them again? lol no

95. Do you have a mean bitchy scary side?

in my mind i do. I’m too scared of everyone to actually do it

96. When are you vulnerable?

always

97. How much free time do you have?

doesn’t feel like much. saturday and sunday go by way too fast and i feel like when i go home from work theres just not enough to relax. im tired all the time

98. Do you like to go hiking?

never been

99. Odd or Even Numbers?

even

100. Would you ever go sky diving, bungee jumping , cliff diving, wing suit gliding, parasailing, snorkeling, or other extreme activities?

no because I actually have self preservation. I am also a very big chicken

#wow this sure took a while #im gonna go knock out now #Tuna's posts #Anonymous

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bubblieywubbliey · 5 years ago

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Drunk!Evan x Fem!Reader (SMUT) - Practice Part 4

This is based about a month after my last fic :)

7PM

You sat on your doorstep with Evan, his hand in yours on your lap as you both waited for Connor and Zoe to pick you up. You were wearing the black skirt that had got him so riled up once before, as well as a floral button-up and a dark blue denim jacket.

“Ev, are you sure you wanna go to this party? We can always just stay home and watch Netflix. There’s gonna be alcohol there and probably weed.” You ask, squeezing his hand sympathetically.

“Y-Yes. It’s Jared’s birthday! Plus we can’t, um, keep avoiding social stuff, people are gonna think we’re recluses or something.”

“Okay, as long as you’re sure. It’s completely up to you.” You smiled at him looking up you saw lights at the end of the street. “Here they come, last chance?”

“Let’s do it.” Evan said, more confident than you’d heard him in a while. You stood up and pulled him up after you, dragging him excitedly over to the car.

“Hey guys!” You greeted Zoe and Connor enthusiastically.

“Hey Y/N, Ev! Someone’s excited, huh?” Connor replied to your greeting and Zoe turned to smile at both of you.

“Well, we might finally see drunk Evan tonight and I’m very curious to see what happens, that’s all.” You replied, grinning at your boyfriend, who was turning progressively more red.

“Oh, I’m not sure there will be much to see, I’ll probably just fall asleep, hah…” Evan mumbled nervously.

“Mmh.” you sniggered and kissed his cheek. “Sure, Ev.”

7:30PM

You peeked out of the window as the car pulled up in the driveway. Evan got out of the car, coming around to your side of the car and helping you down from the four wheel drive.

“Thanks, babe.” You said as you slammed the door of the car and a vaguely familiar girl ran up to Zoe, hugging her. “Oh Zoe! Is this your new girlfriend?” You asked, teasing her.

“Sh-shut up... “ She mumbled, blushing before kissing the mystery girl on the cheek.

“Hi! My name is Brooke! I think we have Biology together?”

“Oh cool! I knew I recognised you from somewhere.” You smiled and the group of you walk into Jared’s house to grab some drinks

9PM - Drink No.1

“Jared! How did you even get your parents to let you have this party?”

“They’re out of town!” Jared replied, leaning back against his boyfriend. Connor’s arms were wrapped around his waist as they ground against each-other. The music was blaring and everyone had a drink in their hands. Evan stumbled over to you, clearly tipsy after being given a vodka lemonade that seemed to have been more vodka than lemonade.

“Oh cool! It’s nice to kick back, just chill with friends.” Evan reached the three of you as you danced and you pulled him to start dancing with you but he resisted.

“Not my thing, Y/N, you know that!”

“Oh lighten up, tree boy!” Jared shouted over the music, turning around to kiss Connor a little too vigorously for Evan’s tastes. He turned away from the amorous couple and to you. A slower song came on and you placed your hands around Evan’s shoulders.

“One dance? Please?” Evan nodded reluctantly and placed his hands on your waist. You pressed your forehead to his and he managed to slow dance with you without stumbling over your feet too much. You pressed your forehead to his and smiled, tipsy and happy with your boyfriend.

11PM - Drink No. 5

Five of you were lounging in the living room, with Zoe and Brooke casually making out on the floor. Connor was stretched out across the chaise longue with you in his lap as you chatted drunkenly while Jared began to blaze it. Evan stumbled into the room, a glass of water in his hand. Upon seeing you in Connor’s arms a wave of uncontrollable jealousy overcame him. He sat down on the sofa and beckoned you over to sit next to him. You looked at him confused, but got up and sat sideways across his lap.

“What’s up babe?” You asked, and noticed how ruffled Evan’s hair was, he had clearly had a few more drinks than you. “How many have you had?” You ask, concerned.

“Mmmhh.. Like f-five? Or seven? I can’t remember.” You run a hand through his hair and he grabs it, grunting, “Why were you sat in Connor’s lap?” His face was clearly flushed, was that anger? No… it was _jealousy?_ You sniggered slightly before regretting it as Evan slipped a hand up to rub your breast through your shirt.

“E-Evan?” You mumbled, looking around the clearly exposed room.

“You’re so hot… And mine… And I lo- I mean, god you’re hot.” He muttered into your ear as people around you danced and smoked weed.

“I, um, are you okay?” He reached his other hand under your skirt and rubbed circles on the top of your ass. You grabbed his hand and pulled it off your chest to avoid stares. The other hand was now groping our ass more roughly.

“God I want you.” He nearly growled in your ear and a blush spread across your face.

“Oh really? What are you gonna do about it?” You asked, almost daring him to take some kind of control. What you were not expecting was for Evan to slip his hand into your panties and push a finger into you under your skirt. A shock of pleasure ran through you and you struggled not to squirm in his lap as he roughly thrust a finger into you.

“I might just have to make you scream my name.” He whispered gruffly into your ear.

“Evan!” You squeaked in response as he fingered you.

“Yeah, that, but louder.” He pulled his finger out and glanced around to make sure no one was looking before he placed his finger into his mouth and sucked it clean. You could barely suppress a moan and kissed him, tasting yourself on his lips. He pushed you away from his mouth and grinned. His face was still hovering near yours, nearly kissing you but moving away just enough to avoid contact everytime you leaned in.

“What’s up baby? Were you enjoying that?” You nodded and pleaded with him through your eyes and instead of taking you home to fuck like you had expected, he instead kissed up your neck, sucking roughly in some areas to form hickeys while everyone was distracted. Suddenly his hands were on your hips and he was shifting you so you were straddling his lap in reverse cowgirl and grinding against him, small moans escaping you as you let out little yelps of Evan’s name as you warned him, telling him to stop and attempting to act like everything is normal while he kisses your neck roughly. Connor and Jared looked up from their flirting to stare at the pair of you.

“Jesus, what got into Evan?” Jared chuckled and took a toke on his blunt.

“Vodka, I’d assume, possibly Tequila too.” Connor responded, laughing too before yelling, “Get a room, breeders!”

You jumped and attempted to move of Evan’s lap as Connor called you both out, Evan pulled you back down and ground into you harder. You gasped and froze, completely still as you flt yourself getting wetter and wetter.

“Maybe we will.” He replied, groaning into your neck, “But they’ll hear you anyway, you’re gonna scream my name.” He whispered the last sentence into your ear.

“Evan!” You reprimanded him nervously. Drunk Evan was hot and dominant, which was a huge turn on, but it didn’t stop you from feeling extremely conscious of how many people could see you two getting off. Your boyfriend finally stopped grinding into you and just gently kissed your neck, you slid off of his lap and curled up next to him, hoping he was done being so horny for now, at least until you could get home and finally fuck him. He put his arm over your shoulder and reached over to down the rest of his drink. You felt his hand snaking it’s way up your thigh as you snuggled into his side.

“Evan?” You mumble into his ear, warning him once again. “You are a really horny fucking drunk.”

“You love it though, I can feel how wet you are.” His confidence was soaring as he saw the heat rise to your cheeks.

“Hey, I’m not complaining, I just wish we were… alone right now.” You replied, kissing his neck and ghosting your lips across his collarbone.

“Oh?”

“Well I just… I _need_ you, Evan.” Evan groaned and couldn’t wait anymore, his boner was getting too painful to bare within the confines of his boxers.

“Y/N, will you help me to the bathroom? I’m worried I might fall on the way.” You nodded, nearly and Zoe laughed, calling after you, “Use a condom!”

“She’s on birth control!” Evan yelled back and you ducked down half laughing half embarrassed, as if people might notice you less if you made yourself smaller. This wasn’t true as a chorus of “ooooh!”s followed you to the bathroom. You opened the door for him and he walked in, dragging you behind him.

As soon as the door was closed and locked he slammed you up against the door, roughly sucking your neck, wedging his knee between your thighs and you ground against him, whimpering as he groped your butt and continued to kiss your neck. More whimpers escaped you and he mumbled sweet nothings into your ear as he explored you. He slipped his hand under your shirt and rubbed circles on your stomach before unbuttoning the shirt and sliding it off you. He pulled his own shirt over his head and turned back to you, kissing you passionately and this time you slid your mouth down his jawline and onto his neck, but he only gave you the chance to leave one hickey on his neck and then on his chest before he slid to his knees, pushed you against the door again and pulled your panties aside. You couldn’t do anything but gasp as he slid two fingers straight into your slick entrance, rubbing your clit with his thumb, you were close to your orgasm almost straight away as he eased his fingers in and out of you, his speed building, getting rougher and faster with his ministrations. Evan’s other hand crept up your chest and rubbed your nipple through your bra. He stopped fingering you and replaced his fingers with his tongue, still rubbing your clit as you unravelled in his hand, unable to hold back a slightly-too-loud yell of his name. Before you could recover Evan had unbuttoned his jeans, pulled his dick out and pressed it up against your entrance.

He gave you a questioning look before asking, “This is okay, right?”

“Yes! G-God, _yes_.” You could barely get the words out and before you’d even gotten to the end of your sentence he was pushing your panties aside and then he was inside you, fucking you up against the door, ravaging your neck, the sound of your bodies thumping together and your moans, his grunts, it was unmistakable to passers by what was happening in this room. There was no time to adjust but somehow that made it better, you were soaking and he stretched you better than he ever had before. His hands held on tightly to your thighs under the fabric of the skirt he loved so much, your bra still on as well as your panties. You gasped his name quietly over and he indicated for you to jump, you did, legs wrapped around his waist. He leant you against the wall, unable to carry both of your weights for very long. He was pounding into you again in moments, gasping and groaning about how hot you were, how much he was enjoying making you moan, how he couldn’t wait to see your pretty face when you came.

Then he was spinning you to place you on the sink and he’s still ramming into you roughly, grunting, panting, your moans and whimpers driving this once shy boy to fuck you harder than even Connor had before. He began to whisper things to you.

“You like this?” He thrusts once “Huh?” another thrust to punctuate his sentence.

“Y-Yeah, oh my god yes, Evan, Evan, Evan!” You cried out with each thrust, barely able to deal with the pleasure he was supplying you with. His hair falls prey to gravity as it flops over his fact with his thrusts he flips it back and you moan with each thrust.

“Good, no one could never do you like this, not the way I can, right?” He thrust harder and harder, the jarring feeling sending shots of pleasure up your spine. His muscles, though he wasn’t particularly buff, rippled, clearly all that tree climbing had helped with his physique. You leaned back against the mirror, his grunting and groaning with every thrust turning you on even more.

“Never! Never…” You trail off as his thrusts lighten up and you take the opportunity to rest before he regains his intensity. He pulls out of you and flips you around, lifting your skirt and and pulling your panties down to your thighs and shoving his was back into you. You whimpered as he filled you again from this new angle, hitting new spots that make you nearly collapse in pleasure.

“F-Fuck, Evan! Evan!” You cry out his name, not caring now who could hear you.

He reaches a hand around to rub your clit and your body convulses with the pleasure as he fucks you through your orgasm and keeps pounding you, you realise he’s trying to get you to cum again, he’s never done this before. He slips a hand down your ass to your pussy, lubing up his finger with your juices before he slides a finger into your asshole and you nearly melt at the sensation.

“S-Someone’s been- oh god! - doing their, fuck, their research, huh?” You moaned and he grunted in response, moaning again about how good you are, then words are just spilling out of his mouth.

“God Y/N, you make me feel so good, I’m gonna fuckin cum, will you cum too? You’re so beautiful, I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you,” He moans and you freeze as he thrusts inside you and you moan again momentarily distracted as he thrusts and you can feel him twitching and spasming inside you, he gives you a couple of final thrusts while he rubs your clit and fingers your ass gently, making certain to be careful since you’d never had anything in there before.

“S-Shit, oh my god, shit I love you too! Fuck, fuck!” You yell way too loud for your own good.

The dual sensations along with him kissing your neck and back, a hand under your chin as he pounds you, you cum again and you feel like you might be peeing, gasping as your most intense orgasm, probably ever, hits you and he gasps, you were squirting around his dick and this sent him over the edge as he came inside you, hips going wild as you clenched around him and squirted. He slowed down his thrusts, riding it out as you came together.

“O-Oh my god… That’s never happened before… I just assumed that I couldn’t…” You panted, looking at the clear liquid that was dripping onto the tiles.

“W-What happened?” Evan asked, still slurring his words, confused. He was still inside you, leaning over your shoulder, panting in the afterglow, you could feel the throbbing inside you.

“U-Uh I squirted? It’s like, um, cumming, but for girls? No one really knows why it happens, but I didn’t think I could do it, lots of women can’t. It just means you were, really fucking good” You explained, almost embarassed at the mess but holy shit that was the hottest sex you’d ever had.

He blushes before replying. “Shit, clearly you um, you can.” You nod, almost giggling as he pulled out and clumsily pulled up his boxers and trousers. You stood up and turned to face him, his arms snaked around your waist and you could feel his breath on your face.

“Y-yeah…” He gave you a quick kiss. You stood up properly, pulling up your panties and grabbing a towel to clean up, straightening out your clothes. You are both giggling, laughing still tipsy, the awkwardness passes as soon as you look at eachother and he kisses you again, then again. You push him off and your post-sex lethargic feeling begins to fade as you open the door and the pair of you tumble out, still stealing kisses anywhere you can.

“Holy shit! It was totally Evan Hansen and Y/N pounding in there!” You heard Jake shouting to one of his friends. You both giggled again, and you went over to the kitchen to make another drink for both of you. His arms wrapped around your waist and pressed his lips to your neck. Then he was littering your neck with them again. You can’t help but smile as you turned to give him a quick kiss before continuing to pour vodka into your cups. Passing it to him, you asked.

“Down it?’ He nodded and the night continued.

2:30AM

“W-Was that, okay? For you?” Evan asked, apprehensive. The pair of you were curled up in an armchair together while you waited for your uber as people filtered out, the party beginning to wind down.

“Evan, I squirted for the first time, it was fucking amazing! Pun intended.” You reply quietly, giggling slightly. His face flushed red at the compliment.

“O-Okay I was just, I don’t like being rough but clearly drunk me does and I enjoyed it but it scares me a bit and I don’t know…” He trailed off and you took both of his hands in yours and replied.

“Hey, we don’t ever have to do it like that again if you want, or we just stick to it when you’re drunk, it’s whatever you want okay?” You smiled and he smiled back. You kissed him on the nose and he pressed his forehead against yours.

“I want to, if you enjoyed it too, then I want to.”

“I did.” You replied sincerely.

“I love you.” He says, your eyes widen. “Not just, ‘we’re um, boinking I love you’ but full I love you, unconditionally.” He smiled and you laugh softly at the word ‘boinking’ and kiss him.

“I love you too, Ev. A lot.” A car horn sounds outside and you see a notification from your uber.

“Time to go home?”

“Sounds good!” You both get up, stumbling to the door and yelling a goodbye to Connor and Jared, although you were sure they didn’t hear you, they were too busy making out.

3AM

You climbed into Evan’s bed, not even bothered to get into PJs, you slept in your underwear. Evan climbed in next to you and you curled up into his side, before you knew it, you were snoring away.

#zoe murphy dear evan hansen #evan x reader smut #dear evan hansen #evan x reader #evan hansen #deh #smut #deh smut #Connor Murphy #jared kleinman #Connor x Jared #Zoe Murphy #brooke lohst #myownfics

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justanotherfanfic · 5 years ago

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Love on Me

summary: reader had an incident at steve’s birthday party and it takes an emotional toll on her for the night and the next day. the team notices and warns your dad. tony needs to do whatever it takes to make his daughter feel beautiful in her own body...

warnings: body shaming, anxiety, depression, slight eating problem

pairing: tony stark x plus size!teen!daughter!reader

word count: 3.8k+

a/n: this was requested! it’s currently 1am and i finally finished it! i’m so sorry i took so long, i just wanted to be sure that it would come out perfect! i was so excited to write this so i’m sorry if this is too long! as a 19-year-old plus size girl, i found this to be really personal. i have grown up with insecurities and self-doubt. this is a mini-lesson in itself that you need to love yourself. yes, you will have days where you hate your body and yourself, but if you truly think about it... everyone has different shapes and sizes, that’s what makes us all different and beautiful! please only positive words and feedback. i hope this is what you were hoping for!

requested by: @lilacprincessofrecovery - hi, i was wondering if you could make a dad!tony x teen chubby!daughter reader. ihavent seen anything like it and I would love to see how he would be able to help her like herself more

GROWING UP AS a Stark has its ups and downs. Not only are you one of the richest figures, but you are constantly surrounded by the pressure of the media. You were not like the other girls, the ones who can pass as supermodels. Your body was different than most girls and it caused the attention of the public. Magazine covers are always on the lookout for you and your body figure. Every little outfit was met with nasty remarks. Appearances were always met with backlash. No matter how hard you tried, the media always had something negative to say about you and your weight. It has taken an emotional toll on you the way you look at yourself.

You were always told by your father how ridiculous the media was. He would always explain their technique of mentally breaking top tier celebrities. He would tell you stories about how badly he was viewed by the public because of how the media portrayed him to be. Tony was either a playboy, dead man, idiot, criminal, or a reckless hero. It was always hard for you, you were the type who wanted to please everyone. It wasn't your fault that your body was different, you just had to deal with the overwhelming negativity from the public. Because of this, your dad and the team would constantly try to distract you from it.

You were currently flipping through the Chemistry textbook Peter let you borrow to work on the extra credit assignment given the day before. You sighed as you stared at all the formulas and equations that covered the pages. You munched on a few strawberries as your eyes wandered around the book while you took notes. You had FRIDAY play some music to help you concentrate on your study session. You hummed to the music when your dad came into the room with droopy eyes.

"Hey sweetcheeks," Your dad greeted in attempt to hide his tiredness.

"What time?" You responded as you copied an equation onto your notes. You knew by the way his eyes looked and how slow his movements were that he probably didn't sleep, and if he did, it was probably really late.

Tony sighed, "5am."

You looked up at him and gave him a look, "That's the third time this week, dad."

He shrugged, "It's growing on me."

"Daaaddddd...." You dragged on.

He chuckled as he walked up to you. He kissed your forehead before going to make some coffee, "For you, I'll go to sleep at 4am."

"8pm..." You countered as you took a bite of another strawberry.

"2am." He called back as he pressed a few buttons on the coffee machine.

You scoffed, "11pm!"

"12am."

"Deal!" You laughed as you rolled your eyes playfully.

"It's not my fault Banner discovered a new element!" Tony defended.

You groaned, "Great! Another element to study for this assignment."

Your dad laughed to himself as he grabbed a mug from the cupboard. He swiftly moved around the kitchen as he started to heat up some leftovers from the night before - Clint's famous spaghetti. It was silent for a moment, the only thing being heard was the music playing from FRIDAY's system. "We're having a party for Rogers tomorrow," Your dad spoke as he poured the hot liquid into his mug that plastered Best Iron Dad.

You nodded as you focused on your assignment. You were highlighting a few definitions before the book was closed shut by your dad. You looked up with an annoyed expression.

"That means you need to wear a nice dress... not some jeans and a nice shirt." He raised his eyebrow referring to how you often dress casually. "Do you want me to get Romanoff or Maximoff to take you shopping?"

You shook your head, "I'm sure I have something in my room already."

He simply nodded before walking off with his coffee on one hand and the spaghetti on the other.

"A dress!" He called again before completely disappearing from the room.

You sighed as you opened your textbook to continue with your assignment. Unfortunately, you couldn't concentrate. Your mind began rambling about Steve's party tomorrow. You groaned and slammed your textbook shut. You were never fond of wearing dresses, it was pretty much out of your comfort zone. You decided to cut your study session short and went to your room to find something to wear tomorrow night.

It was now Saturday night. You were on your residential floor getting ready as you felt the tower vibrating from the booming music only a few floors down. You found a beautiful burgundy dress that fit perfectly to your upper body and breasts. Spaghetti straps hugged your shoulders and exposed back, enough to leave it fitted comfortably. The dress loosely flowed down your legs where high slits were on each side of your legs that allowed your dress to flow beautifully around you. You danced along to the music in your room as you finished getting ready. You laughed to yourself knowing Tony would make fun on how ridiculous your dancing skills were.

"Miss Stark, your father is notifying you that the party has begun," FRIDAY's voice rings in the room. You smiled at her voice as you adjusted your dress. "Would you like me to notify him of an estimated time of arrival?"

"Yes," You confirmed. "I'll be down in about five minutes."

"Got it," FRIDAY responded as you cleaned the mess you made while getting ready.

Before you left your room you decided to take a look at yourself. You walked over to the body mirror that was hung on the door of your bedroom. You stopped what you were doing and stared in amazement. You felt your heart racing as you stared at the figure in front of you. Your face brightened, you felt beautiful. The dress complemented your body well and you felt your mood brighten up. You sprayed yourself with one of your fancier perfumes before you headed out your room and into the elevator.

Once the elevator brought you to the floor of the party, you felt the energy of many high-class guests. You thought that the party would have been more casual, but your dad insisted on giving Steve a formal party. You began walking deeper into the crowd of strangers, hoping to find an Avenger. After a while, you finally found your dad.

"You look gorgeous sweetheart," Your dad smiled before pulling you into a hug. You gave a small smile as you took in the smell of his more expensive colognes. He pulled away and took another look at you. "This is the exact reason why you need to be wearing dresses more often. You look beautiful."

You smiled and rubbed your arm, "I'm going to go get some lemonade. Want anything?"

Tony shook his head and gestured to the alcoholic beverage in his hand. You smiled at him before making your way to the bar. You sighed as you noticed everyone staring at you. You couldn't tell if it was judgmental or not. You finally made it to the bar and took a seat on the stool. Your eyes wandered around the list of beverages that were offered.

"Who let [Y/N] Stark come looking like a mess?" A voice whispered behind you. You felt your heart sting at the remark but decided to ignore it.

You smiled at the bartender, "Lemonade, please."

"Shocker," Another voice spoke behind you. "Try some water, it might help with your weight."

You didn't turn around. You knew if you did you would breakdown. Instead, your head fell down as you fidgeted with your fingers. You knew you should've never gone out of your comfort zone. You felt tears pooling around your eyes as your mind rambled on different ways to leave the party without anyone noticing. The bartender slid the glass over to you as you smiled weakly at them.

A hand was suddenly on your shoulder. You flinched before looking up at a smiling Peter Parker. His smile fell seeing your puffy, red eyes. "[Y/N] are you okay?" Peter questioned in concern.

You sniffed and quickly wiped your tears before putting a smile on your face, "As perfect as I can ever be. What's up, Parker?"

Peter observed you for a moment but decided not to comment. He plastered a smile on his face and took a sip from his cup. The music vibrated around the two of you as he explained his new invention for the suit and how excited he was to talk to your dad about it. You laughed while taking sips of your lemonade. You almost forgot about the remarks until you were shoved by someone behind you. You stumbled a bit before you regained your balance with the help of Peter. You looked behind you to see a slim, fit girl glaring at you, "Watch where you're standing fatass!"

You were taken back by the remark as you felt your smile drop. She scoffed before walking away to her group of friends. You felt Peter tense up and begin taking steps over to the group of friends before you stopped him.

You shook your head, "It's not worth it Pete."

He felt hurt at your words, "They can't be speaking to you that way. It's not right!"

You gave a humorless laugh, "Peter I've been called worse."

Peter frowned at you. You sighed and looked at the time on your phone, the bright light reflecting off of your facial features, "I- I'm going to head out. I don't feel so great." You lied; Peter knew this and it made him more upset than before. "I think it was the lemonade."

"[Y/N] please..." Peter pleaded as he held onto your hand. "C'mon, I think Thor is on his third magic alcohol now. Maybe we can get him to lend us his hammer for the night." Peter tried to change the topic in hopes to make you feel better.

You slowly pulled your hand away as you began walking away, "If my dad asks, tell him I felt sick."

You turned around and started walking out of the party as many people were staring at you with a judgmental look. You felt your breath shake with every step you took. You walked into the elevator and watch it close as Peter was looking at you from afar. You felt a tear fall down as you pressed the button that would take you to your residential floor.

Once you made it to your floor, you went straight to your room and threw yourself onto your bed and let all your bottled up emotions out. You felt like you were crying in your bed for hours. You were tired of all the backlash you were receiving. No matter how hard you tried, you were never going to win. You genuinely thought you looked beautiful, but apparently, you weren't. You continued crying until you drifted off to sleep.

It was the next day, you woke up and felt exhausted. You almost forgot about the night before until you felt yourself still in the dress from last night. You huffed and got undressed and washed your face. You got dressed in work out clothes and decided that today would be the day you changed your habits and lifestyle. You took a deep breath before heading down to the kitchen.

The team was all at the common room laughing up a storm as Wanda and Vision were finishing cooking the breakfast. You avoided everyone and silently went to the fridge and examined what there was. Wanda noticed your presence and smiled up at you, "Good morning [Y/N], will you be joining us for breakfast?"

You closed the fridge and looked at them, "I don't think so."

Vision looked up from the stove, "Are you sure? There's going to be pancakes, bacon, eggs, and toast. It's your favorite."

You felt your stomach growl. Vision and Wanda smirking at you. You blushed but shook your head, "No I'm fine." You walked over to the fruit basket and grabbed a banana and a water bottle from the side. You gestured to the banana and walked out of the kitchen. Vision and Wanda gave each other a look before finishing the food.

When you walked out of the kitchen you noticed Peter was laughing with Bucky about a story he was recalling from the 40s. You both made eye contact for a second before you quickly tried to leave the room. You noticed he was getting off of the couch and tried making his way to you. You walked faster towards the elevator and hit the button that leads to the training level. You sighed to yourself and relaxed once the elevator doors closed.

You were finally brought to the training room. You walked over to the treadmill and felt intimidated. You hated running with a passion, so instead, you walked over to the punching bags and decided to take baby steps on your new workout routine. You put on the gloves that were next to the station. You put the banana and water bottle to the side and adjusted yourself before you started your workout.

Your first punch felt great. A sudden rush of adrenaline kicked inside of you. You continued punching rapidly, all your anger and anxiety releasing from you. You felt your body beginning to feel the amount of movement you were making. Sweat was beading around your body and face as your face was getting flushed. It was a little over an hour before footsteps were heard.

"What did the punching bag do to you?" A voice called out.

You jumped in surprise and noticed it was Steve. You didn't respond and continued to punch. Steve laughed to himself before walking over to the punching bag. He used both of his arms to hold it steady and help your training get better. You felt your body flushing from the lack of food and water but ignored it. You wanted to let all the energy you had to help you sweat as much as you could. You continued punching as Steve now noticed the look on your face, you looked angry and upset. You felt your body getting weaker but you didn't want to give into the weakness. As you were about to take another punch, your legs gave out. You felt yourself starting to fall but you were too weak to catch yourself.

"Woah!" Steve gasped and caught you before you could fall. "[Y/N] are you okay?!"

You felt your face brighten up in embarrassment. You shook your head in an attempt to gain consciousness, "I'm fine." You began getting up as Steve helped you up and observed you.

"You're not fine," He responded. "Have you eaten?"

You looked over at the unopened banana and water bottle. Steve looked over as well and shook his head in disapproval, "You need to eat. You're harming yourself."

"I said I was fine," You glared and grabbed your things and tried walking away.

Before you could take another step, Steve grabbed your arm. "[Y/N] what's wrong?"

"Nothing!" You shouted in anger as you pulled your arm away. "What, I can't work out? Never seen [Y/N] Stark work out? Is that what it is?!"

Steve was taken back by your outburst. You huffed and immediately left the room before you said something you'd regret. You felt your hands shaking from anger as a tear slipped down your cheek. Steve saw you wipe it before you completely left the training room.

It was later on during the day, you were now avoiding Peter and Steve. You decided that you would have to resort to the facts and experiments to help you fix your body. The best place to gain this information is from the lab. You had cleaned yourself up already and ended up eating the banana in your room while you cried. You walked into the lab to see Bruce working on writing all the information he could gather on the element he discovered a couple of days ago.

"Hey [Y/N]," Bruce greeted as you smiled and went to the back of the room. He noticed you went straight for the files which grew his curiosity. "What are you looking for?"

"Something for my extra credit assignment," You lied.

Bruce didn't question further as he continued on his work.

You decided that you wanted to study the human body and why each person's body is different. You were flickering through different files from Bruce's cabinets. You sighed in relief when you found the file on Dieting and Human Emotions.

"Well," Bruce called. "I'll be upstairs with the team if you need me."

You didn't respond, too focused on the file in front of you. Bruce quirked his eyebrow but didn't comment on it. He then walked out of the lab, leaving you alone. You were reading each report, article, and experiments done for that file. You were frustrated that you could not find the answers you needed. You stared at the picture of a young girl who had the perfect body shape. You would never be as beautiful as all the other teens. Tears pooled around your eyes, tears beginning to fall on the image in your hand. You cried as you ripped the paper of the girl. The dream body you wanted.

"I am reading your heart rate spiking up," FRIDAYs voice echoing in the room. "Shall I call Mr. Stark?"

"No!" You called out in fear. "Don't call dad!"

You set the file down on the table next to you as you quickly started grabbing the bits of paper that were scattered on the floor. FRIDAY ignored your requests and immediately called your dad down. FRIDAY's voice boomed in his room making Tony jump in surprise. He then felt terrified thinking something wrong was happening to you so he ran towards the lab. Once he made it inside, he saw you crying on the floor picking up pieces of ripped paper off of the ground. He slowly walked over to you and saw a file on the table with articles, sticky notes, and pictures poking out from it.

Tony grabbed the file and read the title - Dieting and Human Emotion. Tony sighed as he felt his heart ache for his daughter. He now realized why Peter said you were crying last night, why Vision and Wanda said you were avoiding breakfast, why Steve questioned why you had an outburst in the training room, and why Bruce mentioned you were in the lab. He was looking for you throughout the day to talk to you but he had no luck. He was grateful for FRIDAY alerting where you were. You looked up after hearing Tony sigh. You felt vulnerable after being caught looking through Bruce's files and feeling insecure about it all.

"[Y/N]?" Your dad questioned and finally felt his overprotective father instincts kick in. "Is this what Peter was trying to tell me last night? Did someone say something to you? Is that why you skipped breakfast? Is this why you yelled at Steve? Who the hell is hurting you-"

"There's something wrong with me!" You finally cried out and interrupted your dad. Your dad was taken aback by your statement. Did you really hate your body and yourself? He couldn't believe it. His own daughter hated herself.

"Sweetheart there is nothing wrong with you!" Tony brought himself to the floor pulled you into his chest.

You cried into his chest as you shook your head, "Then why does everyone always have something to say about me and my body?"

Tony knew this was something out of his knowledge. Typically a mother should be the one to assure his teenage daughter about the beauty of womanhood, but Tony had no idea about it. Being a single father was always different for Tony, there were always new things to learn and overcome with his daughter. Today was just another part of it - helping his daughter love herself, just as he loved her.

Tony looked down at you. "Real beauty isn't about symmetry or weight or makeup; it's about looking life right in the face and seeing all its magnificence reflected in your own," Tony whispered as he used his thumb to wipe off your tears from your cheek.

You felt yourself smile before looking down to yourself. You examined yourself for the hundredth time that day. Your dad shook his head before slightly moving your head to look into his eyes.

"[Y/N]," Tony sighed. "You are whole already, perfect the way you are. Your whole being is so much more complex, so much more fragile, so much more subtle and intelligent than a few days of dieting or a page of notes can portray. Reducing your self-worth to your weight is ridiculous and lethal."

You felt your tears welling up, you started to get overwhelmed by your strong emotions of yourself and how unhappy you were with how you looked.

Tony grabbed your face with both of his hands. You leaned yourself into his touch, you felt your nerves going down a little. Tony continued, "I'm not trying to sound harsh, I'm trying to show you that you can love yourself without worrying about everything you eat. You are worth more than your weight. You have a heart, mind, and soul that can change the world. You are a Stark, nothing will ever change that. I love you 3000." He then leaned in and kissed your forehead, your left cheek, and right cheek.

You leaned into the touch, "Not 4000?"

"I was thinking 5000 but that might be a stretch."

You laughed and playfully hit his chest. Tony laughed with you then looked down at you. You smiled as Tony ran his fingers through your hair to help you relax and enjoy the moment.

"Now, let's go upstairs and join the team for some lunch?" You dad offered. You breathed out and nodded. "Great! It's my turn to cook and I could use the help."

You groaned, "Child labor!"

Tony shook his head as you both began walking towards the common room, "I'm not going to let my daughter be a freeloader. Gotta earn it!"

You laughed, "But you love me, 3000!"

"Yeah you're right," He responded and kissed your hair as you both went into the kitchen to start cooking.

Tony knew that he had to do whatever he needs to do in order to make his daughter feel loved. He knew this may be difficult but he will always be there to help you see how truly beautiful you were in his eyes and everyone else's. He smiled when he saw you laughing at a joke Natasha said at the table. Tony was ecstatic seeing your smile and never wants it to go away. He loved you more than anyone could ever comprehend.

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uniqueimagines · 6 years ago

Text

Finding The Tattoo

Paring: Sweet Pea x Reader

Requested: No

Description: Having lived in the Southside of Riverdale your whole life you never thought a change of wardrobe would have such a huge impact let alone it affecting your love life.

Warnings: Violence and cursing.

Word count: 3725

______________________________________________________________

Riverdales south side had been your home all your life. You have never been further from home than Greendale and even that was a rare occasion. Southside High was terrible but you didn’t mind all that much. You have were never one to stand out all that much and being an official serpent meant even if you found yourself getting some unwanted attention for the Ghoulies they would protect you. To this day there has never been an issue with anyone though. You never dressed too scandalously to school or much of anywhere until recently. With the weather getting warmer and after persistent badgering from your best girlfriend Toni you finally decided to branch out your clothing choices from old jeans and band t-shirts to something a little more flattering.

Standing in your bedroom at the trailer Toni stands at your closet and begins throwing clothing at you. She tosses you some fishnets, ripped light high waisted skinny jeans and a black v neck crop top. When she’s done throwing stuff at you all you can do is laugh, “you really think I can pull this off?” She rolls her eyes and glares, “just put it on! And with this bralette.” She finally tosses you matching set of dark green lace panties and a matching dark green lace bralette. Sighing heavily you take the clothes to the bathroom and quickly change also throwing on a pair of socks. You quickly curl your h/c hair putting it up in a half pony letting a few strands curl and frame your face as you put on some cat eyeliner and mascara along with a red lip.

When you walk back into the room Toni’s jaw drops and you look down blushing, “Does it look okay?” She nods almost drooling at this point, “ Ugg I would do you in a heartbeat.” She smirks and steps to you wiping her finger under your lip to fix the red lipstick. “Now it’s perfect. And the red lip?” She cocks an eyebrow at your personal lipstick choice. “Hey, go big or go home right? Also we are gonna be late if we don’t get going.” You laugh lightly, while you don’t love Southside High you have always managed to keep up your grades and didn’t like being late.

The two of you hop into Toni’s car pulling up to the school with 20 minutes to spare. Both of you stepping out of the Jeep you pull up your jeans a bit and immediately feel eyes on you. More specifically all the guys in the parking lot, both Ghoulies and Serpents alike, were staring at your ass. “T- Toni…” you turned to her after quickly throwing on your serpent jacket and backpack trying to hide from the new attention. The boys look away and continue on with their conversations and smoking before school when Toni glares at them all. “Come on, Y/N/N. Ignore them. They just aren’t used to seeing you show off that smoking bod.” She gives you a playful smack on the ass. You look over your shoulder still feeling one set of eyes on you. Sweet Pea smirks as Toni smacks your ass and drops his eye into a small wink before returning his attention to his cigarette and conversation with Fangs around their bikes.

School goes by fairly uneventful until lunch as you try to ignore all the male gazes. You sit at your normal table with Toni, Fangs, Jughead, and Sweet Pea. “T….” you groan as some of the male Serpents at a table across the room are clearly staring at you and begin whispering. “This is not what I wanted to come from this.” You groan nervously and put your head in your hands on the table. Toni gently rubs her hand over your back. “Hey it’s not their fault they are curious,” fangs chuckles making you snap your head upright. “Curious about what?” You ask annoyed at amusement to your situation. “N-nothing…” his eyes go wide never seeing you so irritated. “Tell. Me. Now.” You snap slamming your fists onto the table making him jump and more guys in the lunchroom stare.

“Chill out, Y/N/N. You are only drawing more attention to yourself,” Sweet Pea laughs lightly. Toni nods and rests her hands over yours trying to relax you. “If you know something just spit it out,” Toni glares at Fangs knowing he had more information than he wanted to admit in front of you. “I’m not so sure you wanna talk about it here…” Jug says in a hushed tone with a serious look. “If someone doesn’t tell me right now I’m gonna smack someone” you growl in a low tone annoyed at this point.

“Well umm…” Fangs bites his lip looking at the table lowering his voice so only the small group can hear, “they have never seen this much skin and… well they wanna know where your hiding your serpent tattoo…” his words trailed off in the end but everyone managed to hear it and all Toni can do is laugh as you cover your face with your hands. “Well I belive me and FP are the only two that know where it is seeing as he gave us both ours at the same time.” This comment makes the three boys opposite to you and Toni on the table stare. “So where is it?” Fangs says quickly now wanting to know more than ever. You nearly throw your milk from lunch at him as the bell rings that lunch is over. You all leave the lunch room and finishing the school day.

With nothing else eventful happening at the end of school Toni persuades you not to go home and change before heading to the bar. “Fine I won’t change but if you don’t get there in 45 minutes I’m leaving!” You roll your eyes. “I promise I’ll be there before then” Toni hugs you quickly before running to her Jeep having to run home and change herself before heading to meet you at the Wyrm. “Hey you wanna ride?” Sweet Pea calls. Him and Fangs are finishing their smokes before leaving to the bar themselves. “That would be great. “ you smile softly happy to be leaving with some friends rather than alone.

You quickly walk over and they put out their smokes. Sweet pea hands you his helmet and Toni was taking your backpack to her trailer so you didn’t have to take it with you to the Wyrm. You take his helmet and quickly slide it on and slide on the bike behind Sweet Pea. This isn’t the first time he’s given you a ride and surely won’t be the last so you know to hold on tight. When you guys arrive at the Wyrm you slide off and hand the helmet back to Pea. As both of you walk up to the bar Pea opens the door for you and lets you and Fangs walk in before he does letting the door close behind him. The three of you make your way over to your normal pool table.

Despite it being quite early it was a Friday evening so the bar was already fairly packed making the room quite warm. You slide your jacket off draping it over a chair nearby the pool table before picking up a cue. “Fangs wanna play?” You ask desperately wanting a distraction to keep your mind off the stares and whispers of today. He nods and begins to play. About halfway through the round Sweet Pea brings you your favorite drink along with himself and Fangs a beer. You down it quickly needing to relax. “Princess there’s no need to stress on all this. It’s just a compliment. Your hot and we all know you have a tattoo. They just are curious where you hid it” Pea chuckles lightly only annoying you more. You ignore him and continue playing ignoring anything not pertaining to the game.

While leaning over the table to take the winning shot you suddenly feel someone grab your hips pressing themselves against your backside. Quickly spinning around to slap them Toni grabs your hand before it can connect with her cheek, “Nice try baby but it’s just me.” She laughs lightly bringing you into a hug before handing you another drink she grabbed for you. You take a sip before heading back to the table and sinking the winning shot making Fangs throw his cue into the table annoyed he had lost to you. “Hey Fangs don’t be all pissy. You should have known I would win. I always win” you smirk the liquor and your win making you a bit more relaxed and much more happy.

You drink just enough to get a touch tipsy and make the night more fun as Toni you to the dance floor. You two dance her hands all over your petite figure but by this time you don’t really care. After a while of dancing you sit with the boys in the corner. Toni had ditched you for a possible hook up. Around 11pm Toni comes up and whispers in your ear. You nearly nod and give her a small eye roll and then she leaves. “What the hell was that?” Pea raises an eyebrow. “She found some girl to hook up with and asked if I would be okay if she left and if I could find my own ride home.” He nods ”If you need a ride I can take you home.” You shake your head and put your feet up on the chair across from you “I’ll be fine. Besides I’m not ready to leave yet anyways.”

You play a couple more rounds of pool with the boys and let the majority of your buzz wear off before your ready to go home. It’s past 12:30 at this point. “Hey Pea I’m gonna head home. I don’t know where Fangs ran off say bye to him for me please.” You smile lightly. “You sure you don’t want a ride. I was gonna leave soon anyways.” He raises a brow at you. You simply nod and slide your leather jacket on walking out the door. The walk to your house from the bar should only take around a half an hour to fourth five minutes. While it would be easier to get a ride as that would only take 5 minutes you would much rather walk and get some fresh air.

About 10 min from the bar you hear some footsteps behind you. Turning around you see nobody and begin to quicken your pace. About halfway to your house you hear the steps again followed by a snide voice call out, “So you gonna show me the tattoo or do I have to find it for myself?!” You turn to see a pack of Ghoulies the tallest of the 4 is the one shouting at you. “Oh fuck off you would have never even noticed me before today why now?” You groan stuffing your hands in your jacket pockets gripping your brass knuckles in one and switch blade in the other ready to fight.

“Oh baby I would rather fuck you than fuck off,” he smirks as the begin walking towards you again. You turn and begin walking away hoping they may just lose interest. You hear their footsteps just behind you and you quickly turn connecting your fist with your brass knuckles into the tallest boys cheek causing him to stagger back in pain gripping his bleeding cheek. “Oh you fucked up now “ he turns spitting at you and before you can react one of them tackled you to the cement. You struggled against him and managed to get your blade out and stabbed him in the side. Rolling out from under him the boy you had punched us now beyond pissed and kicks you as hard as he can in the side. Everyone can audibly hear the cracking of your ribs as you scream out in pain.

Hearing the roar of two motorcycles you are unsure if you are hallucinating. At this point your laying on your back on the floor with one boy each holding your legs and another holding your hands. Kneeling all his weight on your hands digging more gravel into the backside and pushing the gravel embedded into your palms in further. They had taken your switch blade and cut off your shirt also cutting your stomach in the process. Having not found the tattoo the tallest boy pushes the boy holding your right leg away taking his place as he slides the pointed edge of your blade into your hip just above your jeans before sliding it under. Blood trickled down your side and he begins slicing your jeans open down the right pant leg.

Once reaching about an inch or two down your jeans just before your underwear you hear Pea screaming, “Get the Fuck off of her!” He quickly jumps off his bike ripping the Ghoulie that is cutting you off but in the process the boy slices a deep vertical cut in your mid thigh. You scream out in pain. With one solid punch from Fangs and Pea each of them have one of the guys knocked out cold. Sweet Pea is on a warpath his face bright red as he slams a second one into the concrete. Before Fangs has a chance to turn to the third guy Sweet Pea has him pinned to the ground punching him. “Pea that’s enough!” Fangs yells causing Pea to let the guy go to crawl away.

As he rushes to your side he yells at Fangs, “ Call Toni. We need her help right now!” Fangs quickly pulls his phone out calling Toni twice. She answers immediately knowing they wouldn’t be interrupting her night if it wasn’t serious. “Tell her we need her car a med kit and a blanket. There’s a lot of blood” Sweet Pea calls pressing into your leg trying to stop it from bleeding. After a minute Fangs hangs up and comes over. He quickly pulls off his flannel and sits you up enough to wrap it over you. Sweet Pea doesn’t let his hold on your thigh even when Toni pulls up.

Jumping out of the car her hair is in a messy bun and she only had time to put on sweats and a zip up sweater. She quickly tosses the blanket over the back seat. Lifting you up Sweet Pea calmly says, “I’ll ride with Toni. Keys are in my bike ride them both back. We’re bringing her to my trailer. “ Fangs nods and Toni hops into the driver's seat of her Jeep as Sweet Pea crawls into the back wrapping you in the blanket. He holds you in his lap in the back seat putting pressure onto your leg again. Without another word Toni drives as fast as she can to the trailer park pulling in front of sweet peas cabin like he instructed. He quickly gets out but is careful not to hurt you as he’s lifting you out. Fangs pulls up just after sweet pea is out of the car and runs up unlocking the door.

Pea immediately takes you to the bathroom laying you on the tub. He bunches the blanket up under your head. He pulls out a second first aid kit as Toni walks in with hers. “Take care of her.” He looks down at you sadly. When Sweet Pea walks into the living room Fangs has just arrived back with his bike and hands him your serpent jacket. To everyone’s surprise it wasn’t damaged at all. “Should we get her some fresh clothes?” Fangs asks looking up holding your keys. “I don’t wanna go through her stuff. I think she’s had her privacy invaded enough today. She can just borrow some of mine.”

As Toni slides your jeans and fishnets full off being completely silent as she begins to clean your legs. You slowly wake up as she pours the bactine across your leg and you can now hear the boys speaking. You can’t help but have a small smile and wincing as you feel your bruised cheek. Toni noticed your awake finally “How are you doing sweetie?” You can’t help but laugh a little causing your head to throb more. “I’ve had better days. How bad is it?” You close your eyes again to ease the pain in your head a bit. Toni presses a bit of gauze to your thigh and tapes it down to keep it in place until she can wrap it.

After cleaning all of your cuts Toni needs to clean the last bit of dried blood off your thigh and stomach before she can wrap your leg and ribs. She gently wipes them with a wet washcloth. “Do you think you can stand on your own Y/N?” Toni asks needing you to stand to properly wrap your leg and ribs. “Judging by the pain in my head in a lying position…. no.” You laugh lightly. “Can Pea come in and help…?” She asks hesitantly knowing you may be a bit uncomfortable as your in only your underwear at this point. You just nod and sit up a bit.

“Pea can you come help us. And bring her a set of clothes please” Toni calls out. You hear Sweet Pea’s pacing stop before he quickly walks to the bathroom having already grabbed a shirt and some basketball shorts for you to wear. When he walks into the bathroom he immediately stops and looks away when he realizes you are nearly nude. As he blushes and stares at the ceiling it makes both you and Toni laugh. “Pea I just need you to help me stand and stay standing long enough to wrap my leg and ribs and get dressed. You can look at me.” He sets the clothes on the counter before slowly looking at you and can’t help but do a quick up and down checking you out.

Stepping forward he takes your arms and slowly helps you stand and step outside the tub. Toni quickly wraps your leg and ribs as you lean against Sweet Pea. The three of you work together in silence to help you step into the basketball shorts and tie them tight enough that they won’t fall down and slide the shirt over your head without straining your ribs more than necessary. Once you are dressed Sweet Pea helps you sit on the edge of the tub as Toni begins cleaning the mess up. Sweet Pea asks, “ do you want to go home or you can sleep over here.”

“Thank you I don’t think I could make it home even with help.” You smile softly reaching your arms out to you for help. As he helps you stand again you you give a small hug to Toni and thank her. After helping you to his bedroom and helping you lay down he asks, “ Do you need anything, Princess?” You shake your head, “Please just say thank you and goodnight to Fangs for me.” Sweet Pea gives you a quick kiss on the top of the head before walking to the doorway. “I’ll just be on the couch. Call if you need anything.” You smile softly and nod before laying down.

After about twenty minutes of laying in silence you hear Toni and Fangs leave. Sweet Pea turns on the tv putting in some random show to fall asleep to. Shortly after the others have left you fall asleep. Around two in the morning you woke screaming from a nightmare. Within seconds Sweet Pea was by your side. “What’s wrong are you okay?” He says looking around “I’m sorry I just had a nightmare.” You were sitting up rubbing your eyes. “Okay do you need anything? How can I help?” He aids running his hands through his hair. You look up noticing Pea shirtless and disgusting with the waistband of his sweats. “Umm would you… Will you sleep with me… i just I would feel more comfortable if I wasn’t alone….” you say quietly a bit nervous he will say no. “Of course,” he smiles. As you slide over he slides into the bed with you. You snuggle close to his chest and he pulls you close. Sweet Pea holds you until he’s sure you are fast asleep before falling asleep himself.

When you finally wake the next morning you can smell food as Sweet Pea is already up and cooking breakfast. You slowly limp into the kitchen. When you walk in he has his back to you and is still shirtless and you can’t help but admire his muscular body. “Morning Pea,” you smirk as he jumps at the sound of your voice. “Don’t frighten someone working around a hot stove!” He says with a fake pout. “So sorry. How can I make it up to you?” You ask laughing at his fake pout as you lean against the edge of the counter. “I think a hug will do,” he laughs walking to you. You home your arms up to wrap around his neck as he wraps his arms around your lower back pulling you into a snug hug being sure not to squeeze too tight to hurt you. You pull back keeping your arms wrapped around him hand resting at the nape of his neck.

“Better?” I smile looking into his eyes and biting your lip. Pea nods and leans in pressing soft kiss to your lips. He begins to pull away but you stand on your toes connecting your lips once again. Leaving one hand on your back he moves one hand to caress your cheek deepening the kiss. Only pulling away to take a breath he rests his forehead against yours. “Please let me protect you from letting anything like last night happen again. Please be mine princess.” He whispers gently brushing his thumb over your bruised cheek. “I thought you would never ask,” you giggle. As you hold him tight against you Pea slides his hand to your front gently tapping his fingers over the front of your hip right where your panties rest and whispers close to your ear, “Love the tattoo baby” and kisses your cheek.

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noodles-send-n00ds · 7 years ago

Text

scream - jack avery

pairings: reader x abusive!jake, reader x jack

warning: mentions of abuse

summary: y/n used to live an amazing life until her ex-boyfriend abused her. jack made her the happiest person alive until one night they get in a fight. y/n does something jack doesn’t expect.

a/n: this is told from first point of view. please read at own risk.

(future lyss says this is not good and you should keep scrolling, it’s very cringe and uneducated. but she also says go ahead if you want)

not my gif

***

i was the happy-go-lucky girl that always had a smile on her face. the girl that anyone could talk to and know that they had someone to count on. my smile made others smile and it was the best feeling. i was the girl that would compliment you when you least expected it. the nice girl. the good girl. the pretty girl with life in her eyes that could make your day.

that all changed.

i would walk around with a frown planted on my face and dark bags under my eyes. i wore long sleeves shirts and jeans in the summer to cover up the pain. i gave out no more compliments. no one came to me for advice because i was broken. i had nothing to give. it seemed as if life was suffocating me and i couldn’t get out. no more smiles. no more laughs. just pain.

he caused this. my boyfriend, jake, who i loved with all my heart caused me pain. a great deal. it started as mental pain which slowly moved to physical. i was beaten for things i had no control over. i was stabbed in the heart with his words and actions. each time, i told myself it was going to get better. he was going to get better. i loved him so i had to stay.

each day my heart was ripped to shreds and my body becoming more frail and thin as he kept doing what he did. i couldn’t escape. there was no escape…

until jack.

jack showed me a love so powerful and true that the one i had with jake was nothing. he showed me i could be loved again and i deserved everything good in the world. he taught me to be the best i can be. he taught me how to love. his love was so new and fresh that i got addicted, his love was like no other.

the day came when i had to tell jake that i loved him no longer and his love wasn’t right. i ended up in the hospital that night having to explain to the nurses and doctors that i fell. i protected my first love even though it was wrong. i wanted to yell out that he was one that caused my broken ribs and swollen black eye but i didn’t. i couldn’t. to this day, i still will protect him even though it’s the bad thing to do.

jack became my boyfriend and our love is strong. strong as it’s ever been but tonight i was the stupid one and i messed things up.

***

earlier that day; 8 pm

i was getting ready for the party tonight that my friend was throwing. i was going to bring jack along so i didn’t have to be lonely. i was touching up my makeup and was wearing a dress that i had recently bought. it was too risque but it showed some skin.

“damn, babe. i didn’t know you could look that hot and adorable at the same time,” jack said, wrapping arms around your waist. i chuckled at his comment.

“same goes for you,” i told him as i finished up my makeup.

i grabbed my purse and his hand as we walked down the stairs to the car. the drive wasn’t too long. it went by quickly because jack and i jammed out to every song on the radio.

once we got there, the smell of sweat and alcohol was instantly the first thing that anyone would notice. i gripped jack’s hand tighter and pushed through all the sweaty bodies to the kitchen where i knew my friend was.

“y/n! i’m so happy to see you!” y/f/n exclaimed. she said a quick hello to jack before she showed me the bar and encouraged me to drink some. i was against drinking because i know what it can do to a person and i don’t want to be that person.

***

11pm

i had somehow lost track of jack throughout all this and was dancing by myself on the dance floor with a ton of strangers. i was having the time of my life and everything was good.

“you got some good moves, baby,” a voice that you didn’t recognize told you while wrapping his arms around his waist.

“excuse me but i have a boyfriend,” i wriggled out of his grasp but it was strong.

“baby, he’s not around,” he said, trying to be seductive. it wasn’t working.

“can you please let go of me?” i asked him which i knew wasn’t going anywhere.

“i’m good right here, lil’ ma.” the sound of the nickname almost made me throw up in my mouth.

“y/n! what the hell?” i heard jack yell over the music.

“oh, is this your boyfriend?” the creep asked and let go of me and walked away sending a wink in your direction.

“we’re leaving,” jack demanded and pulled me out of the house to the car.

the drive home was nothing like the drive there. it was silent except for the faint sound of justin bieber on the radio. it was like torture almost. i knew it wasn’t my fault but i couldn’t help it.

***

home; 11:30pm (second point of view)

“i thought i could trust you, y/n,” jack said, throwing the keys on the kitchen counter.

“you can! he wrapped his arms around me and i couldn’t get out,” you told him. you never raised your voice. it scared you so you always kept at the same level during fights.

“didn’t seem like it! you showed no effort of trying to escape his arms! i’m your boyfriend for fuck's sake! you shouldn’t go running off with some guy! i should be the one you love! the one you give affection to! not some guy at a house party!” he raised his voice to the point where he was yelling.

you closed your eyes and said to him, “do it! just fucking do it!”

it shocked jack a little when you screamed at jack because he had never heard you raise it like that before. but the sight before him shocked him the most, you pointed to your cheek signaling him to hit you. you had a single tear running down your face but remained with your eyes closed.

“w-what?” his voice trembled.

“just hit me.”

he ran over to you and hugged you, crying into your shoulder. he was sad that you ever think he would hit you. he knew about jake and thought you were over that time in your life. but he realized how stupid he was to think that you’d ever get over that. his salty tears fell from his face to the hardwood floor.

you hugged him back and started crying as well. for you, it felt so good to scream because you stayed silent for so long. you had your voice muffled this whole time with no say. you were vulnerable. tonight was your breaking point.

“it felt good to scream,” you told him.

“i bet, baby. i bet.”

***

#jack avery imagines #why dont we imagines #why dont we imagine #jack avery imagine #why don't we imagine #why don't we imagines #scream #abuse #sad #imagines #imagine #jack avery #why don’t we #why dont we

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artificialskyway-archived · 7 years ago

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acquainted

Minseok x Reader Genre: smut/fluff? It’s a mess. Length: 3.7K words

Summary: You meet Minseok in a bar and swear that you know him from SOMEWHERE but have no idea where, but now you have to do something about it.

A/N: One Shot Challenge taken with @soobadnoonecanstopher, @thesammtimes, @3kpop2jagi1, @xiubaek13, and @forexcapism

Happy hour on a Monday night. It may not be your ideal place to spend your hours after work, but in the end, you were glad you went.

After a pretty uneventful, yet somewhat relaxing christmas and new year’s break, you had to return to the grind of work upon the new year. Seeming as if you’d never even left, there lie all of your lesson plans stacked on your desk, just the way you had left it. Perfect.

You were a school teacher and you loved it, but that isn’t to say that you loved Mondays. In fact, collectively, the entire human race probably hates mondays just as much, especially students + teachers.

After a rigorous first day back, a few of your co-workers decided to go out to a local bar, celebrating the survival. When they invited you to tag along, you were all too fake excited to join, and to your dismay they bought it. All you wanted to do was go home, and drink in the comfort of our own home.

Reluctantly, you followed through and joined them.

“Okay, wait, I need to say something,” Ahn starts off, “can you believe the bull- ,” and there she goes, the more vivacious of the four of you, talking about all the bullshit the supervisor is already putting her through as the school’s secretary. She continues on her rant with the help of two more shots while the rest of you cheekily sip on your drinks, giggling and joining in the conversation with her.

After your first drink was long gone, you started to tune the group out and scan the rest of the bar. You can’t help but notice that there are far more people than you would have expected here on a Monday night. As you’re looking towards your right, you feel someone bump into your left arm, causing you to swiftly turn your head around to look at the person who just briefly invaded your space.

“Oh, excuse me.” The voice says as you feel a hand quickly reach back to rest on your arm and that’s when you froze. His voice smoothe, eyes so dark you saw a slight glimmer of light in them. And a sharp tingle trickled down your back.

“It’s fine,” you reply, holding onto his glance a little too long.

He hardly even looks at you a second longer before turning around and walking away. Your eyes fixate on the back of his head, watching him as he walks away. He turns around once, making eye contact with you. A sudden feeling of familiarity washes over you, he smiles back at you and winks your way before turning back around. Your mind starts to travel almost at the speed of light trying to figure out where you knew this person from. You just can’t erase the image of those dark crescent shaped eyes from your brain.

“Oh, Y/N! He is a baaabe!” Ahn says, cutting your thoughts short as her slightly drunken voice takes over.

“Yeah, did you see the way he looked at you? With those dangerous eyes of his,” your other co-worker, Rei teased.

“What? You’re joking, right? The guy hardly even looked at me, y’all. It was nothing.” You respond, looking back in his direction.

“If it was nothing then why are you still checking him out even though he’s miles away?” Ahn challenged you, to which you could only roll your eyes in response.

You thought about it more, and realized maybe you were looking at him longer than necessary. However, you just couldn’t shake the feeling of distinctly remembering him from somewhere. Because you had seen him before. The question was, where?

“Hey, I’m going to the bathroom, okay?”

“Ooo! Okay, well go on over to the bathroom! While you’re at it, go get that babe’s number!” Ahn says, already on her second round, she gets way too invested in your love life when she’s had a few drink in her.

“Shut up, Ahn. I actually have to pee. Is that a problem?”

She waves her hand at you, woosh-ing you away and with that you smirk, walking towards the bathroom.

As you made your way to the bathroom, weaving around other slightly tipsy strangers, it hit you.

You did know him! You quickened your pace, making a beeline to the back of the bar where the noise wasn’t as loud. You pulled out your phone and called your best friend.

“H-hello?” She answers with a raspy voice, and you knew you had woken her up.

“J! What was the name of that strip club we went to last year? On your birthday?” You asked, not even realizing it’s 11pm, explaining why she was asleep, if the baby’s asleep, then she’s asleep.

“Look, you know I need this time to sleep, Y/N, right?”

“I’m sorry! But just tell me, do you remember that bar? The one where we saw that very specific dancer. The main performance of the night, light skin, jet black hair, and sharp, crescent shaped eyes.” You voice stops short after that brief description as you caught a glimpse of him from where you were standing. That has to be him. No one else could look that good.

With no response from your friend, you grunt and say one last detail, “you kept saying that it looked like he wanted to take me to the back and give me a special dance.”

“Bar Bellas!” She shouts into the phone. She’s completely awake now and one hundred percent invested into your late night phone call.

“Yes! That’s the one! I’m at this bar with some co-workers and this guy bumps into me.” You continue to retell the events of the night that brought you to this particular phone call, “I thought I knew him from somewhere, but couldn’t place where.” You catch a glimpse of him again from where you’re standing, “I think he’s here.”

“You need to get off the phone and go talk to him! Maybe ask him if he’s still down for giving you that special dance.” She jokes.

“Go to sleep.” You respond, knowing you secretly wouldn’t mind a special dance from him. But you couldn’t let anyone else know that.

“Hey, you have to break the ice some way.” She says before hanging up.

You know she’s right, but there is no way in hell that you are going to actually ask him that, not right away at least. Were you actually going to confront him? And what would you say and how would he react to you? Do you go back to the table? Or to him?

All these questions started to form in your mind, the nerves getting to you, it was all becoming too much to handle. You were seconds away from walking towards your table when your phone chimes.

[11:14] J: Don’t you even think about walking back to your table without going to talk

to the hottie beforehand. LOVE U!

She knows you all too well.

A waitress was roaming the bar, handing out specialty drinks of the night. As she was crossing your path, you grabbed one from her and took a few sips. Your feet started to move slowly towards the black couch, eyes fixated on him, mind deciding on the right words to form.

Alcohol clearing buzzing your mind, you felt a slight wave of confidence hit you. Your feet began to move a bit faster now, as the dark haired guy became clearer with each step. The voices of the people around you became inaudible, your senses seemed to only fixate on him. And now, standing in front of him, you watch as he scrolls through his phone with one hand and his drink in the other.

Clearly unaware of his surroundings, you sit beside him on the leather sofa, taking in the last sip from your drink.

“Bar Bellas,” you say, looking at him and taking in the smell of his sharp cologne.

“Hmm?” He hums, after he takes a sip from his drink. You watch as the muscles in his face contract, while he lets the alcohol slowly make its way down.

“That’s where I’ve seen you.” You state, twirling your empty glass in your hand.

He turns his attention towards you, his crescent shaped eyes scanning you from head to toe. It makes you feel hot just watching as he takes in your form with his eyes.

“Is that so?” He asks coolly, looking back at his phone. “You think I would be hanging out at a place like Bar Bellas?” Another sip.

“Well,” you start, “more like working at Bar Bellas.” You smirk as you notice his eyes look away from his phone but they look at any specific thing, just straight ahead. The beginnings of a smirk forms on his face before quickly vanishing.

“It’s you, right?” You ask, pushing him a bit. You continue, “you were on the main stage that night… the main performance… the big surprise of the night. You performed quite the number, sir.” At that, you weren’t sure if the last word sounded as sexual outloud as it did in your head.

“And what makes you think that was me up there? The ‘big surprise’?” He asks, locking his phone before tucking it into his pocket. You have his full attention now. Jackpot.

“Because I’d recognize those eyes anywhere.”

You lock eyes with him, flashes of that night appear in your mind. You begin to remember seeing him shirtless on the stage, skinny white jeans hugging his legs. He let his body roll and move so swiftly with the music. You remember feeling every hip thrust he made against the air that night, you also remember him making eye contact with you while he gave some tipsy woman a lap dance for three minutes.

“Ah, flattery.” He chuckles, “you use it well, darling.” He leans closer to you, letting his leg touch yours as he takes another sip from his drink. Heat begins to radiate from such a simple contact, and it was slowly driving you crazy. His eyes held onto your gaze, hypnotizing you while the alcohol buzzed through your body.

“So, it is you, then?” You ask, the light essence of his cologne continues to fill your nose, sending sweet chills coolly down your spine.

“Darling,” he leans in closer, tugging your hair behind your ear, the air in between is nothing but the heat and breaths of yours and his. He lets his lips graze your ear as he finishes his sentence, “I’m afraid you have me confused with someone else.”

“Look, I know it’s you.” You start.

“Can I ask you something?” He interjects, and you nod for him to continue, “why are you so hung up on some guy that you saw a year ago? And what makes you think he would even remember you?”

“Because I never told you exactly how long ago it was that I saw you.” You reply, he just unknowingly confirmed his identity to you and is playing hard to get. His face doesn’t emit that he knows he fucked up, but you can see it in his eyes.

“So,” you start, placing your empty glass on the small table in front of the two of you, “Now that I know it is you, will you tell me your name?”

“Xiumin.”

“Nice try. I mean your real name.”

“Can I at least get you another drink?” He asks, clearly trying to stall.

You comply and let him order your third drink of the night while you begin to remind him of the events a year ago that made him so memorable to you. As your drinks arrive you both enjoy the light hums of the few individuals that still remained around you in this bar.

“Minseok.” He says, “My name is Kim Minseok and I do remember you from that night. I remember you because you were the first girl to walk into that club and give me butterflies.” You smile at the way it sounds so cheesy, thinking how on earth could you give him butterflies. “I’m serious! I almost left high and dry because I was so nervous.”

“I find that hard to believe, considering you did perform. Not to mention, you locked eyes with me as you grinded on some woman’s lap as some sort of lame middle school way to get me jealous.”

“I’ll admit, I wanted to get a rise out of you, just to see what you’d do.” He takes a sip. The way he drinks is even enchanting, and you can’t help but admire the shadows around his face under the dimly lit bar lights.

Minseok continues, “unfortunately, you did nothing and left. And I felt like a dick because I thought I would never see you again. And I wanted to. I wanted to see you again so bad.” He moves closer to you, eliminating any space between the two of you. You swear that his face is closing in, your breaths are one.

“Well, here I am.” You whisper, “it took me about a year but I’m here.”

“Fate.” Minseok whispers back. “But now that you’re here,” he says, leaning away and back, “you must know that I won’t go any further without taking my girl on a proper date.”

Minseok winks one of his crescent shaped eyes, adding another layer of fire to the flame burning in you for him.

He reaches into his pocket and checks his phone for the time before handing it to you, “Will you please put your number in for me, darling?”

You grab the phone and start to put in your number, and you realize something, “Don’t you think you should know my name?”

“You don’t like pet names, darling?” He asks, exaggerating the tone of the last word as to imply ‘darling’ is now your name.

You hit his arm, “I don’t do pet names,”

“Hmm, we’ll just see about that, darling.” His voice reaches a new level of deep.

Two days have passed since the monday night bar scene and no word from Minseok. Of course you didn’t expect a message from him right away, but that didn’t stop you from anxiously checking your phone and jumping at the sound of each ‘ding’ that went off from your phone.

The next morning you receive a text,

[9:13am] Minseok: Bar Bellas.

8:00pm. Come find me, DARLING.

-Minseok

You roll your eyes, but don’t stop the gigantic smile that’s growing on your face. Looks like you have. . a date? Nonetheless, you zoom through your lesson plan, watching the minutes go by slowly, until you’re finally home. Your nerves are in overdrive, you’re hungry for Minseok’s aura. Something about him made you feel like no other. You spend the next few hours getting ready, wondering why he is asking you to go back to that club. While he’s working, isn’t that cheap?

8:00pm rolls around and you find yourself roaming the club, scanning the room for Minseok but of course, he’s nowhere to be found. The lights dim darker than they already were, the girls in the club begin cheering as a single spotlight shines on the main stage.

“Oh, god.” You let out as your eyes fall onto center stage where the lean, muscled body glistens under the white light. Minseok is wearing white jeans, hugging every curve, a white vest over his shirtless torso, all topped off with a bandana tied around his head. His jet black hair contrasts so hotly with his skin tone, and white attire. The familiar heat already traces down through your body and in between your thighs.

A bass-thumping song begins to play as Minseok starts his dance, and it is just how you remember, but this time he’s coming closer, walking towards you. -Wait, why is he coming this way? What does he think he’s doing?- Minseok starts making his way towards you, bedroom eyes piercing through your entire being, whipping you up into his lust. As he walks towards you, instinctively you slowly back away until the back of your legs hit a chair, sitting on it as one of the workers holds it down for you. Minseok has a smirk plastered on his face as he stands before you.

“What are you doing, Min?” You ask him as he leans down to you.

“Just stay still, darling. Trust me.” He whispers into your ear. He takes off his bandana and wraps it around your eyes, the sounds of ladies woo-ing and the music heightening as you feel a pair of legs straddle you, he’s giving you a lap dance. You feel his body grinding on your thighs, his groin making itself known against your body and the pool of lust is flooding in you. Your mind is going hazy, since you can’t see a thing, you desperately want to touch him.

The blindfold is ripped away from your eyes, and the ladies cheer louder, as you try to focus your gaze. The crowd is slightly tipsy and drunkenly jealous of you in this moment, while you try to soak up every second. Minseok is staring down at you, biting on his lip, he is loving every moment of this. It takes all he has to keep it professional, but he wants more, hungry for you as you sit underneath him dripping in equal lust.** He proceeds with his lap dance, body rolling slowly over you, enticing you. You squeeze your legs together, the heated tension becoming unbearable. He runs his hand through your hair, cupping the back of your head to hold you still while he slowly grinds into you, letting you feel every twitch of muscle in his legs while his hard on presses against you.

Minseok teasingly removes his white vest from his body until his bare torso stares at you in all its glory. He then leans down and whispers in your ear, “the red door at the back. Ten minutes.” He let his lips graze your ear with every word he said, his hot breath latching onto your skin. He removes his body from you completely, the cold air hits you like a truck as you collect your senses, watching him teasingly dance his way back to the stage.

He continues on with his dance, occasionally flirting with the closest lady there, sending them a series of winks and air kisses to make them swoon and drown in their own pool of lust for him. You’re too wound up and focused on his dance, when another dancer comes up from behind, “You better get to that red door, Miss. Wouldn’t want to make him wait,” he tells you as he stands you up and leads you towards the back. He leads you through the club and up to the red door, and before leaving he asks you for your name then sends you a wink before walking away.

You’re standing next to this door, scanning the club, waiting for the next move when the door opens behind you and a hand reaches out, pulling you inside. You stumble your way in as Minseok stands that holding you in place. His smile is from ear to ear, and you can’t help but return the smile.

He kisses your cheek, and begins a trail of light kisses down your neck, while his hands wrap around your waist pulling you tight against his body. You can feel just how desperate he is for you through his jeans. He continues to shower you in his lustful affection, before pausing to look at you with a confused expression.

“Is something wrong, Y/N?”

“Aren’t I not supposed to touch you? Isn’t that one of the rules?” You ask.

He chuckles, “Darling, I’m off the clock. This isn’t business anymore, it’s pleasure.”

The corner of Minseok’s lips perk into a crooked smirk before locking with yours as he slides his tongue in your mouth, wasting no more time. Your hands reach up to tug on his hair emitting a groan from him. He continues to kiss you until both your lips are bruised, hands sliding up under your skirt, squeezing your ass.

Minseok is deeply engulfed in you, wanting to devour you and you wanted him equally, if not, more. With adrenaline pumping through your veins, you don’t know when Minseok’s jeans came off or where your panties have gone. All you know now is that Minseok has you pushed up against a velvet covered wall with your hips wrapped around his waist as he steadily places his member at your entrance. Everything happens in a blur, he is pumping in and out of you, fucking you against the wall sending you into oblivion and beyond.

Minseok doesn’t just fuck to please himself, and that’s what drives you insane, he pays attention to detail, nipping and sucking at every delicate part of your body. He’d touch you and please you in many ways that you didn’t know were possible. He makes you feel every sensation, to which you can only moan out senseless words ranging from obscenities to his name in a repeated chant. You swear both your moans have heightened over the club’s music, and just when you feel the coil in the pit of your stomach about to burst, Minseok pushes himself into you as deep as he can, sending off a new level of pleasure for you. It makes your body squirm and twitch, but you don’t want it to stop. His lips are on your neck and you feel him walking away from the wall and over to the velveted couch in the middle of the room. He lays you down and continues to fuck you both to your highs.

The coil rips, a wave of pleasure and sensations flood your body and Minseok’s, making you both feel paralyzed in bliss.

After a while, you two lay on the velveted couch, catching your breaths as your fingers intertwine together, bodies glistening in each other’s sweat and lust.

You finally break the silence, “good call on having your co-worker ask for my name, by the way,” you say teasingly.

Minseok chuckles pulling you close against his body, “it’s been a delight to make your acquaintance, Y/N.”

#kim minseok #exowritersnet #oneshot challenge #exo #exo xiumin #exo one shot #kpop #kpop scenarios #minseok #YALL THIS IS A MESS I AM SORRY #BUT LOVE ME PLSSSSS #BLACK HAIRED MINSEOK IS MY DAMN WEAKNESS

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toogay2care · 7 years ago

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Always: A Bechloe Fic

Shout-out to @chloebeale for the prompt. Thank you for reminding me how much I love to write.

It’s literally been years since I’ve written anything, so just keep the hate to yourself if it sucks.

Thanks for reading!

Prompt:

Fat Amy: “OK, maybe playing “whose family is most dysfunctional” wasn’t the best drunk idea we’ve had. Beca’s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get her out.”

…

Always

…

Chloe draws the sleeves of her navy blue cardigan tighter around her arms as a gentle yet brisk breeze sweeps over her, dislodging the strands of fiery hair draped over her shoulders and leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. The redhead glances up at the near full moon hovering over the campus before tucking her hands under the folds of her arms and increasing her pace, and the sound of her boots clacking against the paved sidewalk echoes loudly across the deserted quad.

This particularly chilly November evening proudly announces the arrival of a daunting Winter for all nearby to hear; the impending snow storms can be felt nipping at the heels of the icy wind, and Chloe wants to kick herself for not thinking to bring a heavier jacket to class with her as she shuffles down the lantern-lit walkway.

This isn’t the first time Chloe has walked herself back to the Bella house after an evening class, but it is the first time she’s been so late, and thereby so ill-prepared for the sudden drop in temperature brought on by the setting of the sun. Curse her stupid Russian Lit. professor for holding her after class.

(Cranky, old man. Chloe grumbles to herself. Because of his monotonous combination of lecturing her about being a responsible adult and pleading with her to just pass the class and get out of his hair already, she left the classroom nearly half an hour later than usual.

It’s not like she honestly doesn’t know the material after having taken the class three times, and so what if she sleeps during class and doodles on the unit tests and turns in the sheet music of her favorite Mariah Carey chart-toppers instead of the assigned essays? How many times she fails the class is none of his business.)

She dispatches a hand from its spot of mediocre warmth to the back pocket of her skinny jeans and withdraws her phone before tucking her elbow into her abdomen and hunching over the small screen as if its LED display will provide her with the necessary amount of heat to banish the minute shivers that have begun to wrack her shoulders.

Her phone declares that the time is nearing ten o’clock, that the weather has dropped to a chilling forty-three degrees Fahrenheit, and that she has new, unread text messages from several of her fellow Bellas.

The redhead swipes through the first few messages, which turn out to be from Fat Amy, Stacie, and Jessica, wondering, with varying degrees of concern, where she is, why she’s late, and whether or not she’s willing to buy more booze to restock the impromptu party that’s apparently started up while she was gone. She taps out brief responses where necessary before honing in on the remaining message thread she has yet to open.

Beca – 6:11PM

Hey, if you need me to rescue you from class just say the word.

Beca – 6:17PM

Chlo?

Beca – 6:22PM

Dude.

…

Ok, I’ll admit that I’m bored and want your company.

Beca – 6:25M

Chloooooeeee

Beca – 6:28PM

Fine, I’m a strong independent bitch that don’t need no woman.

Beca – 7:34PM

So Fat Amy just chugged a bottle of vodka and declared that her life’s purpose is to teach Em mermaid dancing??

Anyway, apparently we’re having a party now.

Beca – 8:49PM

Chlo u there??? need 2 talk,, pleas

Chloe – 9:53PM

sorry!!! got out of class rlly late, i’ll b home in 2 :)

Chloe pockets her phone and rounds the corner that will lead her to the steps of the Bella household.

True to Beca’s word, the Bella party is in full swing when she pushes her way through the front door. The kitchen island is littered with half-full bottles of alcohol and plastic cups, and the latest and greatest of the pop industry is blasting from the living room as various people, some that she recognizes and some that she doesn’t, push past each other in the limited space provided by the hallway between the two hotspots.

Chloe drops the pink book bag that was slung over her shoulder at the door, content to leave it where it lands in favor of enjoying the unexpected yet enjoyable outing that has deposited itself upon her otherwise unoccupied Friday evening.

The redhead saunters into the kitchen and pulls the cabinet over the sink open, extracting her personal yellow solo cup. She turns and pauses, eyes roaming over the drink selection laid out on the counter, before shrugging to herself, selecting a bottle at random and pouring a healthy amount into her glass.

She pulls out her phone again with her free hand, frowning when she sees that Beca has yet to text her back.

Chloe – 9:57PM

i’m here, where r u?

Strolling into the living room to search for Beca amidst her fellow party goers, she smiles widely and raises her glass in acknowledgement when Flo, who’s seated next to a slightly cross-eyed Cynthia Rose, spots her from across the room and all but launches herself off of the couch to wave excitedly at her, nearly upending the table in front of her in the process.

Chloe giggles at the sight of the two Bellas, shaking her head at the sheer amount of alcohol she knows they must have ingested in the last several hours to appear this far gone already. She starts to make her way over to the duo, intent on asking if they’ve seen Beca recently, but she’s stopped by a hand on her shoulder.

“Chloe!” Stacie squeals excitedly and throws her arms around the redhead before she’s had the chance to completely turn around.

“Stace, hey!” Chloe stumbles slightly under the sudden weight that barrels into her from the side, but grins excitedly up at the brunette regardless. Her eyes slide to the unfamiliar blond guy lingering awkwardly several paces behind Stacie. “Who’s your friend?”

“Oh, this is Mark.”

“Mack.” Chloe catches his correction over the loud thumping of the music, though Stacie appears not to have heard. Mack doesn’t seem particularly bothered either way.

Chloe smiles at him in greeting just as Stacie pulls her into another hug. “Right, well, we’re going to go do some body shots! Wanna join?” Mack holds up the bottle of tequila, salt shaker, and baggie of lime slices clasped in his fingers at the mention of the shots and grins enthusiastically when Stacie turns around and winks at him.

“I’m good for now, thanks!” Is Chloe’s cheerful reply. “Have fun!”

Stacie simply throws her head back and laughs happily in reply before reaching behind her to fit a hand under Mack’s upper arm, pulling him past Chloe.

“Nice meeting you!” Mack shouts over the music, raising the tequila bottle in a farewell salute.

“Oh, wait!” Chloe tries to yell over the music to catch their attention as they move away from her, waving her untouched drink in the air like a beacon. “Have you guys…seen Beca?” She trails off and lowers her arm as she realizes the two can no longer hear her.

She makes a face, pulling her brows together as she glances around, contemplating whom to question about the tiny DJ’s whereabouts. Her eyes flit along the mass of bodies on the makeshift dance floor, searching for any familiar faces.

(At one point she spots Lilly dangling upside-down from the ceiling, but the redhead decides it would just be better not to interrupt… whatever it was that she was doing.)

Chloe walks around, pausing intermittently to mingle and sing along to the music, checking her phone for messages from a certain tiny brunette every thirty seconds.

When she eventually spots Jessica and Ashley curled into each other in the far corner of the room, she smiles triumphantly, allowing herself a gulp from her all but forgotten drink as a reward.

The redhead squeezes her eyes shut and twists her mouth as the bitter liquid slides down her throat. With a slight cough, she pushes herself forward and makes quick work of the walk around the dancers.

As she nears the duo, Chloe gets a better assessment of how much they’ve been drinking: the two are both cradling solo cups as well as each other, chatting and giggling about something that Chloe can’t yet hear, occasionally knocking their heads into one another as their laughter propels their alcohol-heavy bodies. Still, she figures, glancing around the room, there are people farther gone than either of them.

Neither Jessica nor Ashley notice her until she is crouched a foot away from them.

“Hey, Chlo!” Jessica sits up from where she had slouched against the wall, still tucked comfortably into Ashley’s left side. “What’s up?”

“I was wondering if either of you have seen Beca recently? Do you know where I can find her?” Chloe enquires.

The easy smile on Ashley’s face drops a fraction and her eyes widen almost comically before darting from Chloe to Jessica, who has displayed a similar reaction. Chloe shifts a questioning gaze between the two, but they pay her no mind. The redhead tries her best to decipher the unspoken words that pass though each flicker of their eyes, to no avail.

After a moment of silent interaction, Ashley surges forward and cups a hand around Jessica’s ear, whispering something before pulling back with such an absurdly serious expression that Chloe almost laughs, certain that the two have had more to drink than she had initially thought.

Jessica nods in confirmation to whatever question Ashley had asked before turning to face Chloe once more.

“You need to talk to Fat Amy,” Jessica tells her with apologetic yet serious tilt of her lips, “She should be the one to tell you where Beca is.”

Chloe raises her eyebrows in anticipation of some sort of punchline, waiting for one of the two to burst out laughing. After a moment of silence and blank stares from the two, however, the slightest of twitches in her smile begins to betray her rapidly growing confusion.

“Wait,” The redhead starts, her smile falling as she glances back and forth between the two, “You’re being serious? Why can’t you just tell me where she is?”

“Chloe,” Jessica rolls her heavy-lidded eyes skyward and pats her on the hand with the exasperated sigh of one attempting to explain metaphysics to a child, “Just please go talk to Fat Amy.”

Ashley nods aggressively in agreement, her hair bouncing messily around her shoulders with the rapid movement.

“I think I saw her go outside a while ago,” Ashley tells her, head still bobbing mechanically.

“Umm, okay,” Chloe pushes off of her knees and stands with a final smile in their direction, “Thanks, I guess.”

“Welcome!” Jessica calls cheerfully to the redhead’s retreating form.

…

Chloe leans against the frame of the sliding glass door that leads to the backyard, peering out in search of Fat Amy. Sure enough, as Ashley had said, the Bella in question stumbles into view, waving the glass in her hand around in the air and causing the majority of the contents to slop onto the patio.

Fat Amy stares deeply into her empty cup for a moment before thrusting it into the hands of an unwitting passerby, demanding that he get her a refill immediately.

Chloe takes a sip of her own drink before nudging the door open with her hip and stepping outside.

The gust of wind that hits her as soon as the door opens is stronger than it had been when she was walking back from class, but it provides a pleasant contrast to the stifling heat that the mass of bodies inside the house has accumulated.

“Amy! Hey, Amy!” Chloe flags the Australian Bella down, approaching her with a bright smile. “Jessica and Ashley said that can tell me where Beca is?”

The drunken smile that Fat Amy had graced Chloe with upon sight disappears, and she makes a noise in the back of her throat that Chloe has come to associate with a sheepish, guilt-laden ‘yikes!’.

“Amy, where is Beca?”

(And, okay, Chloe isn’t exactly demanding that Fat Amy answer her, but the no nonsense severity leaking into her voice as a result of the steadily rising frustration of having spent the last twenty minutes on a wild-goose chase doesn’t exactly leave room for a refusal.)

“Oh, Beca! Well, why didn’t you just say so?” Fat Amy laughs nervously, finding herself ill-prepared to face the she-demon that she knows the redhead is more than capable of releasing.

“Y’know,” The blonde points a finger a Chloe, continuing her rambling, “Beca is, like, one of my favorite tiny DJ’s. Have I ever told you that? Like, maybe not number one or two, or three even…but she’s definitely top twenty material, at least, don’t you think? I mean, that’s just what I think, maybe you have a different opinion, but, uh…oooooohh.” She withers at the glare Chloe directs her way.

“Amy.”

“Yeah, right, so,” Fat Amy claps her hands together, “Here’s the thing about that.” She twists her fingers together. “You know how Beca gets when she’s drunk, and, um...okay, maybe playing “Who’s Family Is Most Dysfunctional” wasn’t the best drunk idea we’ve had. Beca’s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get her out.”

“What?!”

“Yeah, she’s barricaded herself in the one upstairs. Legacy’s been trying to get through to her for the last forty-five minutes, but she hasn’t had any luck. Kind of a bummer too ‘cuz now we can only use the bathroom on this floor and there’s always a line. It’s pretty inconvenient for those of us that have to release the kraken on a regular basis, know what I mean?” Fat Amy jabs an elbow into Chloe’s side, laughing humorously.

Chloe draws her brows together, opening and closing her mouth in a gape not dissimilar to that of a fish out of water as she attempts to come up with an adequate response. In the end, she decides not to dignify the last several seconds of their conversation with a response, instead focusing on her immediate and overwhelming concern for Beca.

While Chloe had been meandering around, more or less enjoying the party, Beca had been a floor above her, alone, stewing in the muddled, painful memories drawn out from behind long-locked doors by the alcohol that had managed to entice its way under the spider-web encrusted seal.

She thinks back to the last text Beca had sent her, where the DJ had informed the redhead that she needed to talk to her; the brunette’s usual, pristine text had been replaced with what Chloe could now clearly see was the result of sporadic fingertips fueled solely by drunken distress.

Beca needed her, and Chloe can’t believe she missed the obvious signs.

The redhead swallows, trying to push away the hysterics that are threatening to creep up on her. Her voice is soft when she speaks again, carrying what feels like the weight of worlds as she asks, “Is she okay?” The syllables stick together as they pass through her lips, heavy with obvious concern, but she can’t bring herself to care.

Fat Amy makes a face, noticing Chloe’s sudden change in demeanor. “I mean, maybe? I dunno, honestly.”

“I need to—” Chloe takes a shaky breath, running a hand through her hair, “I’ve got to go. I need to see her. I need to know that she’s okay.”

She turns and starts for the backdoor, the fingers of her left hand still tangled loosely in her hair.

“Wait, Chloe,” The sincerity in Fat Amy’s voice is the only thing that convinces the redhead to turn around again.

The blonde meets her desperate eyes, staring into them for several moments, her hands gently rising to rest on top of the ones Chloe has curled into her chest protectively.

Chloe’s sky blue eyes flicker hesitantly between Amy’s own, and she has just opened her mouth to say something, to ask what the blonde needs, when Fat Amy withdraws her hands, snagging Chloe’s yellow cup as she does so.

Before Chloe can protest, Fat Amy tips the cup back, throwing the last of its contents down her throat. She smacks her lips and shoves the cup back into the redhead’s hand before winking and clapping her roughly on the shoulder.

“Go get your girl, Red.” The blonde calls over her shoulder as she saunters off further into the crowded backyard.

Chloe, for her part, remains frozen in place, mouth still open and brows drawn tightly together in confusion. She glances side to side at the people around her, still astonished, but nobody is paying her any attention.

Finally, she blinks and shakes herself, remembering her priority: Beca.

…

After pushing her way back inside and depositing her yellow cup in the kitchen sink on her way upstairs, Chloe finds herself staring at an exasperated Emily, who is sitting on the floor, leaning face first against the door to the bathroom.

As Chloe nears, she can hear the girl mumbling into the wood, and she’s sure she would find it rather humorous if she wasn’t aware of the state of the person on the other side.

“Come on, Beca, please? Just open the door –“

“Emily?” The freshman nearly jumps out of her skin despite Chloe’s best attempts not to startle her. “Sorry, I just…How’s Beca?” She crosses the remaining space to the door and kneels down beside Emily.

The lanky brunette lets out a heavy breath bordering on a sob and chokes out a response in a shaky, concern-laden voice, “She’s been in there for, like, an hour, a-and it’s been almost forty-five minutes since she’s even said anything, and I don’t know what to do, she just… I can hear her in there, but she won’t talk to me!”

“Okay,” Chloe shushes the distressed girl, pulling her into a hug from their position on the floor, “It’s going to be okay. Can you tell me what happened?”

Emily takes a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. “I don’t know, really. It started when Fat Amy pulled out a bottle of alcohol, vodka, I think, from the cupboard and just starting drinking straight from it and yelling things, and the next thing I know, everyone is drinking, but Beca wouldn’t let me have any because I’m underage,” She pauses to breathe and swallow thickly, “So then there’s music and more people knocking on the door, and Beca’s dragging me around the house with the rest of the Bellas because she doesn’t want me to feel pressured into doing anything, which, I mean, I totally appreciated because parties aren’t really my thing.”

Chloe nods along despite the rapid rate at which Emily is talking, encouraging the freshman to continue.

“Everyone started talking about, like, family issues though? I don’t know why, really. Beca was drinking the whole time; she had so many shots, I lost count,” Chloe raises her eyebrows, concern shining through. Emily continues, “I know, but I’m being serious. She waved me off and said something about just having a long day when I asked about it.

“Anyway, I told her I was going to get a glass of water, but I got caught up for a while in the kitchen because, uh,” She stops, going pink in the cheeks, “Because I was talking Benji. Um, but anyway, um, the next thing I know, I see Beca go running up the stairs, and it kind of looks like she’s crying? So, I follow her because I’m worried about her, you know?”

Chloe nods again. She does know.

“By the time I get up the stairs, she’s already locked herself in,” Emily gestures to the door in front of them, “And I can hear her crying. I kept asking what was wrong, telling her that we could talk about it if she would just open the door. A-and…and then,” She stops again, choking down a bought of tears.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Chloe rubs her shoulders soothingly, “Just breathe. You’re okay.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Emily nods to herself, running a hand through her hair, “She said…she said that—” Emily takes a deep breath before spitting the rest out as quickly as possible, gesturing awkwardly with her hands, “She said that she would open the door if I got her another drink, so I went downstairs and realized that I forgot ask what she wanted, so I just grabbed a random bottle and when I knocked on the door again she said she would open the door a crack so I could pass the drink through and she’d know I wasn’t lying about it, and that she’d open the door the rest of the way when she had it, but she just grabbed the bottle through the gap in the door and then slammed it shut again, and now she won’t say anything else.”

“What?!” Chloe starts before Emily has finished talking, incredulity exploding out of her as the freshman heaves for air. “You gave her more alcohol despite the fact that she was already drunk and crying in the bathroom?!” In Chloe’s shock, she releases Emily, who lets out a wail of despair before curling in on herself guiltily and burying her face in her knees.

“I know, I know, I’m so stupid! I honestly thought she’d open the door! I’m an idiot, and I didn’t think it through. I didn’t know what else to do, and I’m sorry!” Emily’s woeful words are laced with tears and muffled by the fabric of her jeans.

Despite her initial astonishment, shock, and anger, the redhead tries to backtrack, knowing that despite Emily’s overeager tendency to act before thinking, the girl’s heart was truly in the right place and she hadn’t meant any harm.

“No, no, it’s not that,” Chloe balks, moving to pat Emily awkwardly on the back, trying to comfort the girl, “I mean,” The redhead blows out a breath, “You shouldn’t have given it to her, but it was an honest mistake.”

Emily peeks an eye out at her. “Really? You mean that?”

“Yes,” Chloe tells her, wanting to quell the situation before upsetting the girl further, “It could have happened to anyone.”

“Okay,” Emily replies quietly after a minute of silence. She unfolds herself, wiping at her eyes with the edge of her sleeve. “Thanks, Chloe.”

“Of course,” The redhead smiles at her before glancing at the bathroom door as if she had suddenly gained the power to see through it. “Now, why don’t you go back downstairs and take a break? I’ll get through to Beca.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’ll take good care of her, I promise.” Chloe whispers sincerely.

Emily nods to herself, accentuating a quick, “Yeah, right, okay,” before wiping a hand over face and extracting herself from Chloe’s arms again.

“Thanks, Chloe,” She calls out reverently to the redhead a final time before making her way down the stairs.

Chloe lets her answering smile follow the freshman’s retreating form, but it disappears as soon as the younger girl is out of sight.

The redhead turns to face the bathroom door immediately. She raises a tentative hand to the wood, bumping her knuckles lightly against the smooth surface in a gentle knock after a moment’s hesitation.

“Beca?”

She’s met with a resonating silence.

“Becs? It’s me,” The redhead pauses, flattening her palm against the door and leaning to rest the crown of her head next to it, her eyelids sliding closed as she implores the girl on the other side to respond. “It’s Chloe.”

More silence.

“Amy told me what happened.”

She hears a sound beyond the door, a muffled ‘thump’ that’s gone as soon as it comes.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner.”

Chloe knows that Beca had a rough relationship with her family; Beca herself was the one to tell her. It took time, of course, as those things tend to do, but between late night confessions and heart-bearing, tear-filled speeches that she knew Beca was terrified of sharing, she had finally gotten the whole story, and, in turn, she had told some, if not all, of her own.

Over the years, their friendship had blossomed and bloomed into a connection that was simply beyond words, and Beca and Chloe both knew that the other was, irrefutably, in their corner no matter what, which is why Chloe can’t stand the fact that she wasn’t here. She hates that Beca was hurting and she wasn’t there to help her through it. She should’ve been here to help.

In her mind, in a small corner in the back of her mind, Chloe knows that she shouldn’t feel guilty, that there wasn’t anything she could have done that would have brought her back to the Bella house in time to save Beca from the happenings of the last hour, but she does feel guilty.

Tears have begun to sting behind her closed eyelids, and Chloe is vaguely aware of more sounds coming from behind the door, increasing in volume, but she’s too caught up in her head to pay them any attention.

“I’m sorry, Becs. I should have been here for you.” Her throat is thick with emotion, and she can feel the tears begin to slide slowly down her cheeks. She whispers a delicate, “I should have been here,” that cracks and shatters into a sob on the last syllable into the door, and even though she knows Beca can’t possibly hear her when she’s speaking so quietly, she feels like she’s bearing her soul.

Chloe jumps, launching herself off of the door and further into the hallway, when, a moment later, she hears the unmistakable click of the lock on the door.

The redhead waits for the door to open, but it never does. She hears several more telltale sounds: ‘thunk’, ‘thunk’, ‘clang’, and then silence sets in once more. Chloe counts to sixty in her head after the last noise rings out before slowly rising to her feet and moving back toward the door.

She raises a hand to the door and sets it gently on the knob, turning it slowly. When the knob sticks and refuses to turn anymore, she pushes lightly, not fully expecting it to give beneath her weight.

She is happily surprised when it does.

The hinges creek as Chloe pushes the door open, and her heart breaks at the sight that greets her when she peeks around the wooden frame.

Beca is sitting at the foot of bathtub with her back to the door, curled into a ball that, Chloe thinks sadly, makes the brunette look smaller and more vulnerable than she ever has before.

Chloe takes a step into the room and closes the door behind her, hesitating a moment before sitting down on the white tile floor.

Neither of them say anything, and Chloe tries counting again to fill the silence, watching the steady, miserable shake of Beca’s shoulders with her own tear-filled eyes, not knowing if her desire to hold the DJ so tightly that her own teeth chatter with each heaving breath that enters the brunette’s lungs would help or hurt the situation.

(She makes it to twenty before she feels like her world is ready to implode.)

“Bec?”

The single syllable seems to shatter whatever resolve Beca had to keep her distance from Chloe because she turns and flings herself face first into Chloe’s lap with a gut-wrenching gasp, clinging to the fabric of her shirt like it’s the only thing keeping her grounded in this moment.

Chloe’s arms move mechanically, operating on pure instinct, as she wraps Beca up in a bone-crushing hug, pressing herself into every available inch of the brunette and breathing her in.

They sit there like that, unmoving, save for the occasional heave of the brunette’s shoulders, and the responding tears that drip off of the tip of Chloe’s nose, until Chloe’s back aches from being hunched over and the smell of the bitter alcohol drifting off of Beca’s breath is overwhelming in every sense of the word, and yet, Chloe refuses to move. She will not pull away from the embrace first. The mere thought of letting go of Beca causes her to tighten her grip around the DJ’s lean frame.

The action serves to jolt Beca out of whatever place she had withdrawn to inside her head, however, and after a moment of restless shifting back and forth in the redhead’s embrace, she sits up completely. Chloe extracts her interlocked arms from around her when she feels the brunette push up against them.

Beca and Chloe stare at each other wordlessly, taking in one another’s puffy eyes and smeared mascara.

(The brunette’s heavy eyeliner is so smudged that the dark, ringed lines almost touch her cheekbone. Despite the situation, and even though the visible tear tracks on her face better resemble a child’s abstract watercolor painting than anything else, Chloe can’t help but marvel at Beca’s raw, breath-taking beauty.)

Beca is the one to break the silence.

“I thought I was supposed to be the one crying incessantly,” She drawls thickly, a slight slur topping the words.

“Couldn’t help it,” The redhead replies truthfully, lifting her lips in a lopsided smile that Beca manages to match.

“You messed up your makeup,” Beca tells her after a minute of staring, her smirk dropping. Her eyes well with tears again, “Your makeup always looks so good, I’m sorry I messed it up.” She plants her face in her palms as the tears start up again.

“No, no, no,” Chloe surges forward and presses herself into the DJ’s side, locking her arms around Beca like a security blanket again, resting her chin on the brunette’s shoulder, “That’s my fault. Don’t even worry about it.” After a minute, she tries to lighten the mood, “You should be less worried about my makeup, and more worried about your own.” She giggles quietly, “You look like a drowned raccoon.”

She’s worried when she feels Beca’s shoulders begin to shake more heavily, but then Beca’s sitting up and laughing like a toddler watching a puppet show. At the sound, Chloe lights up brighter than the Christmas tree that she’ll drag Beca with her to pick out in a month’s time.

(Beca will roll her eyes and complain just like she has for the last three Christmases because, “For real, Chlo, why do we have to freeze our butts off picking out a real tree when there’s a nice, warm department store a block away from campus that sells artificial ones for like thirty bucks?”, and Chloe will insist and remind her that it’s a Bella tradition, despite the fact that she made that up years ago just to get the brunette to go tree shopping with her, and Beca will roll her eyes again and call her a ‘weirdo’ but go along with it as if that wasn’t what she had been planning to do in the first place.)

When the duo’s collective laughter subsides and Beca turns in the redhead’s arms to look Chloe in the eye again, Chloe takes a chance, asking, “Really, though, Becs. Are you okay?”

Beca’s eyes slide to the floor and her wide, drunken smile drops a fraction, but, to her credit, she doesn’t tear up again.

“Yeah…I mean, I guess,” She blows out a breath that shoots a strand of her ruffled hair to the other side of her face. “I don’t really know why I reacted like that. It’s nothing I haven’t had to face before.”

“You know I’m always here, right? I’m here if you need to talk,” Chloe whispers seriously, trying to push down the voices in her head that are screaming “But you weren’t here this time, were you?”.

“I know.” Beca tells her. The DJ pulls her lips off to the side and raises her eyebrows, shifting her gaze back to Chloe’s baby blues and rubbing a hand under nose. “I think I’m just really drunk.”

The redhead hums. “Emily mentioned something about too many shots and too little time,” Chloe tells her, raising her own eyebrows.

Beca barks out another laugh, “Hell, if that’s not true, then my name’s not Beca Badass Mitchell.”

“Beca,” Chloe tries and fails to hold in a snicker, “Your middle name is not ‘badass’.”

“Since when?!”

Because Beca looks both deathly serious and on the verge of tears again, Chloe decides it’s time to change the subject. “Have you had anything nonalcoholic to drink tonight? Any water?” She adds when Beca looks confused.

“Oh. Nope.” Beca pops the ‘p’, smacking her lips together, flicking her lids to the ceiling in contemplation. “I am kind of thirsty, though. Oh, wait!” Her eyes light up and she crawls out of Chloe’s arms, reaching over the ceramic edge of the bathtub.

Chloe leans back onto her palms, watching curiously.

When the inebriated brunette pulls back, the redhead watching her from behind, Chloe figures out what Beca has cradled to her chest only when she tips her head back lifts it to her lips.

“No, no, no, no, no, no,” Chloe launches herself forward, snagging the bottle before the liquid reaches Beca’s lips, cutting off the protest that leaps from the DJ’s throat immediately. “No, you need water, not more alcohol.” Chloe sets the bottle on the bathroom counter firmly.

“But, Chloeee,” Beca’s whine is high-pitched and toothy.

“No but’s. Now come on, let’s get you up.” Chloe stands before reaching down and hooking her hands around Beca’s elbow for support as the brunette struggles to follow.

“You said ‘butts’,” Beca snickers at herself, wobbling at the knees.

Chloe, who had previously been giving the brunette a playful glare as she helped her rise shakily to her feet, breaks out into laughter, doubling over when Beca’s subsequent cackles cause her to nearly face plant.

“Shit!” Beca exclaims, trying her best to brace herself as her legs buckle beneath her. “Dude?! What the hell?! I could have died!” She screeches when Chloe continues laughing.

“Hey, hey, hey, I’ve got you,” Chloe tells her in between giggles, her grip on the brunette’s elbow being the only thing that had stopped her from getting a facefull of ceramic floor tiles.

With Chloe’s help, Beca manages to claw her way to her feet again, pouting at the redhead’s muffled snickering.

“Here, can you get up on the counter? This’ll all be a lot easier if we don’t have to worry about you falling over every other minute.” The glare Beca gives Chloe only serves to reignite the redhead’s giggles.

Once the brunette is settled on the counter, her back pressed against up against the mirror for support, and Chloe is sure she can let go without Beca falling over, she does, although somewhat begrudgingly.

She reaches for some makeup remover and soaks it into a tissue.

“Stay still, I’m going to help you take your makeup off.” Chloe tells her. Beca nods in response, and her eyelids slide shut.

Chloe rests a thumb on the brunette’s chin for support and dabs the tissue around Beca’s face, gently wiping the dark substance from her pale skin and erasing the physical evidence of the night’s tribulations.

It takes several minutes to clear the mess, and when she finishes, Chloe lowers the tissue, taking advantage of her close-proximity to the brunette, letting her eyes roam around Beca’s face for a little longer than is probably appropriate. She takes in the smoothness of her cheeks, the flawlessness of the skin around her lips, and the light, almost nonexistent splash of freckles across her nose, unwittingly trailing a finger across each area as her eyes move on, greedily taking in each breath-taking detail.

When Beca lets her eyes drift open and she catches Chloe’s own, the redhead tries not to feel like she just got caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

(She fails miserably.)

“All done,” Chloe whispers.

After another moment of silent staring between the two, the redhead clears her throat, averts her eyes, and gives Beca a small smile before turning to deposit the used tissue in the trashcan by the toilet.

“Let’s get you to bed.”

“Wow, already?” Chloe knows Beca is smirking before she turns around. “At least buy a girl dinner first, Chlo, geez.”

Chloe giggles out a, “Shut up,” that has absolutely no bite behind it, and Beca sticks her tongue out at the redhead in response.

“Here, let me help,” Chloe offers, reaching her hands out to grab onto Beca as she moves to get off of the counter.

Beca scoots to the very edge and jumps off before Chloe gets a solid grip.

“Wait, Beca–“

Despite the short distance, the DJ’s legs buckle upon impact with the floor, and she topples sideways into the wall, pulling Chloe with her. The redhead barely manages to throw an arm up against the wall before either of their heads slam into it.

Chloe looks down at Beca, fixing her with a faux-serious glare. Beca withers for only a minute before breaking down into a fit of giggles, and the redhead can’t help but join in.

Several minutes later, slightly breathless after their latest laughing fit, Chloe manages to drag Beca onto her feet again.

The redhead reaches behind her and pulls the bathroom door open, leading Beca slowly out of the bathroom and down the hall. “Come on, Becs, easy does it.”

...

“Chloe?”

The redhead hums questioningly.

“Will you make me a sandwich?”

Chloe is currently staring into the closet on Fat Amy’s side of the room because Beca, only moments before, in her drunken state, had decided that taking her shirt and pants off before locating her pajamas was the best possible decision she could have made.

Chloe, for her part, had whipped her attention to the other side of the room so fast that several of the vertebra in neck cracked.

(It’s nothing that she hasn’t seen before, really, but the redhead knows that Beca isn’t as blasé about nudity as she is and that she hadn’t been thinking properly in her alcohol-addled state, and she respects the DJ’s privacy enough to turn away when really she wants nothing more than to drink in every inch of exposed skin and trace her eyes over every curve until she has them all memorized.)

“A sandwich?” Chloe directs the question at a neon yellow t-shirt that burns her corneas.

“Yeah!” Beca chatters excitedly behind her, stumbling slightly as she attempts to pull an old pair of Barden sweatpants that she stole from Chloe over her legs. “Dude, you make, like, the best sandwiches! They’re almost as amazing as the prospective love child of unicorns and Beyoncé, and that’s, like, pretty damn amazing.”

Chloe giggles, and flinches when Beca pokes her in the stomach a moment later; she hadn’t heard the brunette cross the room. The redhead turns with a smile, a sarcastic reply nipping to be set free, stopping suddenly and rolling her eyes to the ceiling when she realizes Beca’s still not dressed.

“Seriously, Bec? It’s been, like, five minutes and you don’t even have your pants on all the way.” She waves a hand, gesturing at the single leg that Beca has managed to place in her sweatpants and acknowledging the fact that the brunette still has yet to don a shirt.

“I was distracted by sandwiches. That is a victimless crime, and you know it.” Beca pokes Chloe in the stomach again, laughing when Chloe jumps and curls in on herself, before sauntering back to her side of the room to finish dressing.

…

Fifteen minutes later, Chloe has Beca tucked into her bed, propped up onto her side with several pillows. A glass of water and bottle of Advil sit on the nearby table, an empty trashcan lies on the floor next to the bed just in case, and the brunette herself is half asleep and still asking for a sandwich.

“Okay, Becs,” Chloe gives in after the twentieth-something time Beca asks. “I’ll go make you a sandwich. You have to stay here though, okay?”

Beca blinks up at her through heavy lids and a small smile, nodding seriously. “‘Kay.”

Chloe leaves her with a smile of her own as she departs the bedside. Beca’s eyes bore into the redhead’s back from behind, her smile falling with each step Chloe takes away from her as she realizes that getting a sandwich means temporarily losing her own personal ball of sunshine.

(And drunk or not, that is not something that Beca is willing to give up. Ever.)

Chloe’s hand barely makes it to the doorknob before Beca is calling out again.

“Wait, Chloe,” Beca sounds panicked all of a sudden as she rolls onto her back, thrashing under the sheets in her struggle to sit up.

Chloe, who is back at Beca’s side immediately, puts a hand on her shoulder that stills the brunette’s wiggling frame. Beca’s stormy eyes meet Chloe’s, and the redhead is startled by how sober the brunette suddenly appears. “Don’t leave me.”

The redhead’s breath hitches when Beca reaches a hand toward her face, her fingers extending to stroke softly along her cheekbone. The brunette’s hands are cold, but Chloe doesn’t dare move.

(The truth is, she doesn’t ever want to move. She’d stay here, staring into Beca’s wide, vulnerable eyes, forever if she could.)

“I have to leave if you want that sandwich, silly.” Chloe eases out a breath, doing her best to appear unaffected by the delicate fingertips tracing and mapping her features.

(The fact that she is completely unsuccessful is not lost on her.)

“I don’t want a sandwich,” Beca mumbles, beginning to succumb to the alluring pull of sleep. “I want you.”

(And Chloe’s always been good with words, but, here, in this moment, the entirety of her vocabulary has vanished, and all that she can do is tangle her fingers with the ones resting on her chin and smile so widely it hurts.

Beca looks small surrounded by her cocoon of fluffy pillows and the many blankets that have pooled around the slope of her waist; she looks like a rejection would shatter her and send the ragged pieces spiraling off into oblivion, and Chloe has absolutely no intention of walking away from the brunette, now, or ever.)

“Okay,” The redhead whispers, powerless to deny such a genuine request, and all too happy to oblige, “I’ll stay.”

Beca’s smile blooms, rivaling her own in size and luminosity, and Chloe can’t help but compare it to the splatter of stars visible beyond the brunette’s window, as cliché as she knows that it is.

The DJ pulls back the covers, inviting Chloe join her, and the redhead does, gladly. She clambers over Beca as gently as she can, weaving an arm around her waist, tangling their legs together under the sheets, and settling into the brunette’s back.

Beca tangles her fingers around the arm wrapped around her waist, squeezing herself as far back into Chloe’s chest as physically possible. She sighs contently, her head sinking into her pillow.

Chloe nuzzles the tip of her nose into Beca’s hair, content to stay there until she’s forced from this bubble of happiness by the mediocre responsibilities that accompany their everyday reality.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Chloe whispers the question into the brunette’s hair.

“I will be,” Beca tells her truthfully, her lids drooping. “Just…will you stay with me?”

Chloe tightens her hold around the brunette, and tells her, truthfully, “Always.”

#bechloe #fic #beca mitchell #chloe beale #pitch perfect #pitch perfect 2 #god i love them so fucking much

145 notes · View notes

lunarimagines · 8 years ago

Text

SINCERELY, YOUR NEW FWB

anon said : can you do a yugyeom enemy to fwb smut where the reader is a bit younger? thank you!

Summary : You say you can’t stand him. He tells you to take a seat then.

Warnings : language, smut

Word Count : 2.8k+

If Yugyeom interrupted the lecturer one more time, you were going to take the stapler off of the desk and staple his lips shut. Okay… not really. That was a really gross thought actually. You discreetly shook your head, trying to get the image the thought had conjured out of your mind.

You had been thrilled to be selected as a TA during your first year of college. The thrill had lessened slightly as the year had progressed. Honestly it wasn’t the job that had lessened the thrill. Everything would have been fine if Yugyeom wasn’t a student in the only class you were working as a TA in.

Yugyeom. College Junior. Majoring in dance. Minoring in music. A complete jerk.

It seemed that he’d made it his job to annoy every serious college student, go to every college party, and to have sex with every hot college girl. And one more thing… what was it… oh yeah! He’d made it his job to annoy the shit out of you.

The second the lecture was over, Yugyeom was hovering over you as you sat at your small desk at the front of the room, studiously ignoring him.

“Hey babe, how are you doing today?” he asked, a smirk plastered to his face.

You rolled your eyes, looking up at him and leaning back in your seat.

“Just peachy, coconut head,” you replied, your face stony.

Yugyeom scoffed. Behind him, a few of his friends laughed at your remark and he shot them a glare, reducing their laughs to stifled giggles.

“You say that babe, but you and I both know you want to grab my “coconut” haircut as I eat you out,” he replied slowly, looking you up and down.

You fought the urge to cover yourself. His eyes seemed to bore right through your clothing and you suddenly felt more exposed than ever before.

With one last once-over and a wink, Yugyeom left, his friends trailing behind him.

You let out a breath you weren’t even aware you were holding and packed up your stuff, bidding goodbye to the professor. As you were walking out of the building, your phone vibrated in your bag. You dug it out of your bag quickly having learned after your first day of college that if somebody was calling you, it was probably important.

“Hello?” you answered, your tone questioning since the number wasn’t saved in your phone.

“Is this Miss Y/F/N Y/L/N?” a nasally female voice on the other end inquired.

“Yes, this is she,” you replied.

“This is the office of student life and housing. I’m calling to inform you that you and your roommate have been relocated. We took the liberty of moving your stuff for you, free of charge.”

You eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

“May I ask why we were relocated?” you asked slowly, slightly afraid of what the answer would be.

“A pipe in your wall busted and flooded your room, the rooms beside yours, and the room below yours. We aren’t sure how long you’ll be relocated, but we hope you aren’t for long. Do you have a piece of paper handy to write down the address and number of your new dorm?” the lady asked.

“I do, one second please,” you said, sandwiching your phone between your cheek and your shoulder as you dug through your bag for your notebook and a pen. You uncapped the pen, the lid between your teeth and gave the lady the go-ahead to tell you the address. You wrote down what she said, thanking her before quickly hanging up.

You dialed your roommate’s number as you began walking in the direction of the new dorm. She picked up on the second ring.

“I know. I’m in the new room now,” she said, her voice filled with exasperation.

You sighed unhappily.

“But it gets worse Y/N,” she carried on.

“How could it possibly get worse?” you asked, anticipation making your heart beat faster.

“The dorm’s coed and you’ll never guess who’s directly beside us.”

“Who?” you asked slowly, already knowing the answer.

“Yugyeom.”

You scoffed, silently asking the heavens why they hated you so much. One class spent across the room from Yugyeom you could manage. Living with only a wall between the two of you? That was a totally different story.

“How did I know you were going to say that?” you sighed.

Your roommate scoffed on the other end of the line, bitter amusement evident.

“I’ll see you soon Y/N. Be safe getting here,” she said, hanging up the phone.

You sighed, slipping your phone back into your bag. There was no way in hell this was going to be a positive or enlightening experience.

It was just your luck to run into Yugyeom as you walked down the hallway to your new room.

“Hey babe. Did you miss me so much you had to come see me?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at you. “I didn’t know you knew where I lived.”

You scoffed.

“I had the luck of being relocated to the room next to yours. So it looks like we’ll be seeing each other often babe,” you replied, smirking at him.

You’d decided on your way over to play his little game with him, just for kicks. After all, you would be spending more time than you wished by him.

“I like the sound of that,” he said, looking you up and down and biting his lip.

You nodded, pretending to think.

“Although…” you started slowly. “I don’t think there’s much of you to see.”

Yugyeom’s smirk fell right off of his face. His mouth formed a straight line and his eyes became darker, though they became darker with anger or lust you couldn’t tell.

“Maybe I’ll just have to show you,” he whispered, brushing by you.

A chill ran down your spine at his words. You found yourself thinking of Yugyeom, of him pulling his shirt over his head, of his hand slowly unbuttoning his jeans….

You blinked quickly, clearing the vision from your mind. You hated him. You hated him because he was inconsiderate. You hated him because he always called you babe. You hated him because he was Kim Yugyeom.

You found your dorm room and realized you didn’t have key for it. You knocked and a minute later your roommate answered the door.

“I wondered if you’d need this,” she giggled, wiggling a key in front of your eyes.

You smiled and shook your head, taking the key from her.

“Thanks.”

You checked the clock on the wall. The neon letters read 02:39. You groaned, clamping your pillow tightly against your ears. Since 11pm, Yugyeom had been courting some girl. All you could hear were her breathy moans mixed with Yugyeom’s name.

You couldn’t blame your roommate for having better luck at rock-paper-scissors than you and winning the bed across the room that wasn’t by the adjoining room belonging to Yugyeom. However, right now you were tossing all rational thoughts aside and cursing her for her good luck.

You huffed and rolled over to your side, grabbing your phone and headphones and you turned the volume of your music up to drown out the lewd sounds coming from next door. With any luck, you’d at least get two hours of sleep. In other words, it was going to be a long day....

“You look tired babe,” Yugyeom smirked.

It seemed he was always smirking. You resisted the urge to smack his smirk right off of his pretty little face.

“Hmmm. You’ve proved your point. Now please let me and the other people in the hall sleep,” you said, rolling your eyes.

Yugyeom simply wiggled his eyebrows at you before finding his seat as the lecture began.

Throughout the lecture, you could feel his eyes on you. You didn’t even bother to look up. Instead, you focused on grading the multiple choice test the professor had given out last week, your eyes scanning the names. One name caught your eye of course. Yugyeom’s. It turned out he wasn’t as stupid as he acted or sounded. He got a 98% on it, which pissed you off a little. How could someone like him get such an impressive score? It wasn’t fair and it didn’t make sense, but you supposed life in general worked like that.

“Please don’t forget the essay I assigned last week. It’s due next class!” the professor called as people packed up.

He grabbed the graded tests from you, smiling at the fact that you’d gotten them all graded.

“What would I do without you Y/N?” he asked, shaking his head.

You laughed.

“You wouldn’t get much sleep I suppose,” you replied and he laughed.

You packed your stuff up and bid the professor goodbye as you did everyday. As you walked outside, you were struck with the thought that Yugyeom hadn’t bothered you after class. You almost missed the witty comments he’d throw at you. Almost.

“Hey Y/N!” a voice from behind you called.

You face broke out into a grin and you turned just as a boy came flying towards you, enveloping you in a hug.

You giggled as he spun you around, your arms gripping his biceps and your head nuzzled in his neck.

He set you down, stepping back to look at you.

“Jackson! I missed you. How was your trip? Is your family doing well? Did you tell your mom I say ‘hi’?” you asked, bombarding him with questions.

Jackson smiled at you, nodding.

“Good. Yes. Of course,” he replied. “Why don’t we go eat somewhere so I can tell you more about it?”

You nodded, grabbing his hand and swinging it as you walked.

“Sounds good. I have some things I want to tell you about as well…”

“You’ve gotta be shitting me? Yugyeom? The Yugyeom? Kim Yugyeom? Out of like, what, thousands of people you got stuck by him?” Jackson asked, his eyes wide in disbelief.

You nodded sadly, sipping your drink.

“Were any of your things damaged from the pipe leak?”

You shook your head.

“I guess that’s a good thing… It’s almost like because your stuff didn’t get ruined the universe had to find some other way to be rude,” Jackson said, shaking his head before shoving food into his mouth.

You sighed, agreeing with him. There was simply no other explanation.

“Hey I’ll walk you to your new dorm. I’m in the dorm right across so it’s really no problem,” Jackson said, leaving money on the table and standing up.

“Thanks,” you said, standing and following him out of the small restaurant.

“Who’s the boyfriend?” Yugyeom asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

You’d run into his as you’d parted ways with Jackson. Unfortunately, both of you were going up to your rooms so you were stuck walking up the stairs beside him.

“Jackson,” you replied simply.

“So he’s really your boyfriend?” Yugyeom asked, sounding somewhat worried.

You shrugged, smirking. If Yugyeom wanted to think that, you’d let him.

Yugyeom scoffed, letting the stairwell door drop on you as the two of you reached your floor. You glared at the back of his head as you caught the door and pushed it back open.

Suddenly, Yugyeom turned to look at you.

“What’s so special about him? Why do you like him?” he asked.

“Well, for starters he’s not a dick, so…” you started, pushing by Yugyeom.

He reached out and grabbed your shoulders, gently pushing you against the door to his room.

“Where’s the fun in that?” he asked, his hands travelling to rest on your hips.

His lips brushed against your neck and your breath caught in your throat.

“Is he really your boyfriend?” he asked, sounding more vulnerable than he ever had before.

You shook your head.

“Good,” Yugyeom breathed out, his lips crashing into yours.

You were shocked at the sudden action, but you found yourself enjoying the moment. Why were you enjoying the moment so much?

Your hands came up to rest on his shoulders before they slid up, your fingers playing with his hair. Yugyeom’s hand left your hip as he fumbled to get his room key out of his pocket. He unlocked his door and turned the doorknob, pushing you into his room and kicking the door shut behind him. He practically tossed you onto the bed, kissing you hungrily.

“Do you know? I actually hate you,” he whispered as he pulled away to catch his breath.

“That’s good. Because I really fucking hate you too,” you breathed out, pulling him back down, your lips becoming bruised against his.

One of Yugyeom’s hands slipped under your shirt, his cold touch making you gasp. He took the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth, deepening the kiss.

You pushed him away, sitting up and pulling your shirt off. Yugyeom followed, pulling his own shirt over his head. His lips found your neck and his teeth bit harshly at the tender skin. You yelped, the pain surprising but not unpleasant. His tongue soothed over the bruises he left on your neck, your collarbones, your breasts.

“Show me how much you hate me babe,” Yugyeom said, his hand slipping around you to unclip your bra.

He pushed you down onto the bed, teasingly licking one of your sensitive buds before planting wet kisses down your stomach.

“Don’t call me babe,” you hissed as Yugyeom unbuttoned your jeans.

He simply gave you that stupid fucking smirk as he pulled your jeans and underwear down. His tongue licked a stripe up your fold and you moaned, grabbing onto his hair. You fingers pulled his hair harshly, causing Yugyeom to moan against your clit. His mouth sucked harshly on your sensitive bundle of nerves and you arched your back, bucking your hips against his face.

Yugyeom roughly grabbed your hips, pushing them back into the bed.

“You’re so needy babe,” he said, blowing hot air against your heat.

You moaned loudly, quickly putting your hand over your mouth to muffle the sound.

Yugyeom sat up abruptly and you whined into your hand at the loss of contact.

“I can’t hear you,” he said, pulling your hand away from your mouth.

“Fuck off Yugyeom,” you said.

“I’m trying to babe but you’re making it really hard,” he replied, reaching over you to grab a condom out of his bedside table.

He slipped his pants and underwear down, discarding them. Your breath caught at the sight of his length. You weren’t sure you would be able to take all of him.

He rolled the condom up his length, pumping it a few times before aligning the tip with your heat.

He looked at you for permission and you nodded. He suddenly rammed into you, giving you no time to adjust to his width before he began thrusting in and out of you at a fast pace. His hand roughly massaged one of your breasts while his lips attacked your neck. You nails scratched his back and he hissed at the pain, only thrusting deeper inside of you in response.

“Fuck, Yugyeom,” you moaned out.

You had never thought that Yugyeom would be fucking you. Sure, you were used to him fucking you over, but this was totally different. You were actually enjoying it, every second of it. The sound of his breathy moans, the way he clenched your hip tightly enough to leave bruises that would fade in a few days, the way he fucked you. There was no love, but there wasn’t hate either. It was new, and you were slightly ashamed to say that you liked it.

“Shit, Y/N. I’m not- I’m not gonna last,” Yugyeom breathed out.

You couldn’t reply. The heat in your stomach was becoming unbearable and your legs were shaking.

Without warning, you climaxed, your mind going blank with pleasure and your orgasm spreading warmth throughout your body. Yugyeom groaned at the feeling of your walls clenching around him and thrust harder, drawing out your orgasm. He suddenly stilled inside of you as he climaxed, groaning loudly and thrusting shallowly a couple more times to draw out his own orgasm.

He slowly pulled out of you, rolling the condom off and tying it before discarding it. He watched as you gathered your clothes, pulling on his underwear.

You didn’t want to look at him. You couldn’t believe you’d just had sex with Yugyeom… and you’d liked it. It had worked as a way for you to relieve stress and anger. Maybe Yugyeom was good for something.

You patted your pockets, looking for your phone before Yugyeom cleared his throat from behind you. You turned to see him holding out your phone, avoiding eye contact. You snatched your phone from him, exiting his room and slipping into your own room, relieved that you didn’t have to take a long walk of shame.

As you flopped onto your bed, your phone buzzed in your hand. You groaned, looking at the screen.

coconut head: text me whenever you want to do that again. sincerely, your new fwb

#yugyeom smut #yugyeom scenarios #got7 scenarios #got7 smut #yugyeom imagine #got7 imagines #kpop imagine #kpop smut #kpop scenarios #kpop #got7 #yugyeom #myimagines

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buckygirl-fanfiction · 7 years ago

Text

Sparks Chapter 22

Pairing: Bucky(POV) X Reader(POV) ft. other characters from the avengers team

Word Count: 7.1K

Summary: Going to a club with Bucky and his new “girlfriend”. Feeling overwhelmed bc life is stressful and slipping into old ways. Bucky taking care of you when you’re high out of your mind and having mini anxiety attacks bc contrary to popular belief drugs fuck ya up kids...

Warnings: Drug use.

A/N: I spend months thinking about this particular scene and I had quiet the mental struggle deciding wether I should built up to this or include this. But, I feel like I should bc its something close to my heart... I hope I do it justice. Bc lately i’ve been feeling like my writings been shit. I tried guys.

May 6, 2016

9pm

y/n’s POV

It’s been quite the quiet month. No new attacks or threats. Only downside with quite is the foreboding sense of impending doom that comes along with it. The night looks still from my office window. Even the usually busy friday night traffic of the city seems somehow calmer. I look over at the clock and it reads 9.02pm. I might as well call it a night, i’ve been here long enough for one day. I’ve stopped working weekends so i’ll have the next two days off. Tony doesn’t seem to mind, especially after everything that’s happened. I guess everyone is still walking on eggshells around me, which to me is completely unnecessary.

I walk over to my desk and stuff a couple papers into my bag and sling it over my shoulder. I walk through the lab and notice how deserted it is. Makes sense, it’s Friday night everyone is probably out. The elevator ride down is long and uninterrupted. I don’t know what to do when I get home. Sleep? That’s what I should do. I’ve been trying to take better care of myself. For Cho’s sake, she’s been concerned. But regulating your sleep schedule requires a lot of energy, especially since sleeping through the night never seems to work for me. I just need something… more. I can’t keep living this bland, empty, numb life…

When the elevator dings open to the lobby I step out and spot Bahni standing a couple feet away with her back turned to me. “Hey!” I say surprised to see her. I haven’t seen much of her lately. But I’ve heard enough of her from Bucky to consider her a little more than a casual acquaintance. She turns to face me and she’s shining in a sparkly silver dress and a pair of matching holographic heels. I almost envy her for a second. I crave the simplicity of her life. She’s smart, beautiful, a leader, strong, and somehow still intact. All the things I used to be. Yet, now i’m left feeling like a shadow of my original self. Like i’ve decayed away. Well I have to credit myself as well, so I don’t envy her for long. She does work in legal, her job presents way less life or death situations. What’s the worse she’s faced this month? A lawsuit? I’ve stared death right in the face and i’m still intact aren't I? Well I am for the most part…

“y/n!” she says smiling. “It’s been too long,” she says walking towards me.

“It has. You look great by the way! Headed out?” I ask curiously.

“Yeah. A couple people from legal are going out. I’m just waiting for Bucky we are going to grab a drink before.” She says in an almost unbelievably perky voice. I remember those days, going out with Wanda, Cho, and Nat. Actually having fun. I don’t know why they seem so far off. It hasn’t been that long. I met Bucky what? Almost a year ago? But I feel like all the events that have occurred since then have aged me infinitesimally.

“That sounds fun.” I reply.

“Hey you should come! It’s still early you could always meet us at the club!”

“Thanks but…” I trail off and just as i’m about to make an excuse I reconsider her offer. Maybe this is what I need to finally kick me out of this funk. “That actually sounds great,” I say pulling out my phone to look at the time.

“Awesome so I know the bouncer at the club we’re going to i’ll text him your name and i’ll text you the address. We’re all meeting there around 10 but I mean it won’t matter if you’re late.” She says pulling out her phone. “This is going to be so fun! You haven’t partied till you’ve partied with legal. We know all the loopholes that way you can do all the illegal stuff you want and not get arrested,” she says winking.

“Haha,” I say genuinely, “alright i’ll see you there.” I leave her with a smile and walk towards the glass doors. I walk home through the chill night. It’s getting warmer. There’s still a breeze the memory of winter lingering, but for the most part summer is well on it’s way. It’s calm and peaceful outside and i’m glad to be walking home alone. For a good 3 weeks after the… incident… I had a protective detail shadowing my every move. It got to a point where I couldn’t take it anymore so I opted to chip myself instead. That way the tower would always know where I was. It’s a micro tracker implanted in the forearm. A very non invasive procedure as simple as being stuck with a slightly larger than usual needle. Most field agents have one. But, i’ve always been wary of trackers. I value my privacy. But, if it means I didn’t have to be babysat every minute of my life then it was the better option. Now I get to enjoy my late night walk home again. I love walking through the park at night. The breeze in the trees, the dancing leaves, the shadows and whatever lurks behind them all make me forget, even if it is for just a second, about all that is and was and will be.

Bucky’s POV

It’s almost 11pm now and still no sign of y/n. I’m hoping she changes her mind and doesn’t show up. I know she’s not alright, despite the well built wall she puts up I know she’s not okay. What she needs is some calm, quiet rest not strobe lights, loud music, and strangers. I’m with Bahni, the girl loves going out. I imagine from all the times we’ve gone out that we’d already been to every club in the city. Yet, somehow she always manages to find a new one and drag me there. It’s fun I must admit. Although i’m not always a fan. Sometimes it’s nice to blend into the darkness and lose yourself in some music amongst strangers who have no idea who you are or what you’ve done. Her latest discovery a warehouse on the east side that’s been recently converted. It’s crowded and loud and i’m sat by the bar with Bahni and a couple of her friend who are throwing back shots and shedding their week's worth of stress. A part of me wants to cut loose and laugh like the rest of them, but a part of me worries about y/n. I pull out my phone and text her again: ‘are you still coming?’ I scroll up through our messages:

9.34pm Bucky: Bahni told me you’re coming tonight. Are you sure you’re up for it?

9.45pm y/n: I’m fine Bucky. If you can go out so can I.

9.46pm Bucky: I’m not the one hurting right now. It’s okay to sit out for a while.

9.50pm y/n: We talked about this. Stop babying me.

9.51pm Bucky: I’m not babying you i’m just concerned.

9.57pm y/n: i’ll see you there.

9.58pm Bucky: I don’t think you should come.

10pm Bucky: I can come over and keep you company if you’re bored.

10.02pm Bucky: We can stay in and watch a movie.

10.02pm Bucky: Bahni won’t mind she has her work friends with her.

10.05pm Bucky: y/n don’t leave me on read

10.42pm Bucky: Are you still coming?

I sigh when the minutes tick by and she doesn’t reply.

“Bucky come dance with me!” Bahni shouts past the music pulling me by the arm towards the mob on the crowded dark floor. I slip my phone back into the back pocket of my jeans and follow her to the dance floor. I was never much of a dancer since I woke up from cryo. But Bahni has brought some of my old flare back. After about 10 minutes of being lost in the music with her I feel a tap on my shoulder. I open my eyes to see y/n through the flashing colored lights. She’s wearing a short hugging blue velvet dress and she looks stunning. She almost looks like y/n before. The y/n that dragged me places and laughed and was unharmed by current events.

“Hey!” she screams through the music.

Bahni sees her and screams, “You came!”

“Yeah!” She yells. She sounds happy? My concern for her slowly begins to fade away with every passing second. Maybe she is alright. Maybe she’s finally okay. “I’m going to go get a drink!” She says smiling genuinely. Bahni turns back to dancing and I watch y/n slip past the crowded dance floor and towards the bar. For the first time tonight I feel carefree. She looks happy. She finally looks happy.

y/n’s POV

Looks can be deceiving and I’m getting a lot of looks tonight. I wonder which means what. The purpose of tonight was to have fun and since i’m trying to cut back on the binge drinking maybe a guy is exactly what I need right now. I’m sitting at the bar sipping on a cosmo waiting for something to happen, for the alcohol to kick in, for the music to move me, for some feeling. But i’m getting nothing but looks. Maybe I should have called Dean. Maybe some good sex is exactly what I need right now to get my endorphins running. Just when i’m about to pull out my phone a guy walks over to me.

“Hey,” he says. He’s tall and dark and has long curly hair. Just my type.

‘Hey,” I say back smiling at him. For some reason this smile has been stuck on my face all night. It’s odd it doesn’t reflect my true self at all. But I guess it works for me because curly hair is smiling right back.

“My names Clay. What’s yours?” he asks.

“Doesn’t matter.” I say standing up from my perch at the bar, “Wanna dance?”

He takes my hand and leads me through the crowd until we are one with it. Our bodies entwined and moving with the energy surrounding us. I feel his hands on my hips and my short dress riding up, but I could care less right now. I’m caught up trying to chase a high that is seemingly unattainable and it’s so frustrating. It’s never fun when you’re thinking at a party. That’s the entire premise of a dark room with loud music filled with strange people; to stop thinking for just a little bit. To stop thinking about life and regrets and problems. But, even with his hands running up and down my body all I could think about was every bad thing that has happened over the course of the last couple months. What’s worse, I can’t feel anything. Not fear for the future, not sorrow for the past, not anger at the perpetrators… nothing.

“Get me a drink!” I shout past the music. He smiles at me and leads me back to the bar. It’s just one shot, what’s the worse that could happen? I swallow the contents of the glass he hands me and we’re back on the dance floor and i’m slowly losing myself in the music again. Or at least i’m trying to. His knee is between my legs, his hands on my waist. I slowly feel every wall i’ve built come crashing down one at a time. Wow, for just one shot I feel pretty free right now.

“Wanna get out of here?” he yells in my ear and I take a step back stumbling a little to look at him.

“You know what I think i’m just drunk enough to say yes to that,” I say giggling. He takes my hand and navigates me through the crowded floor towards one of the exits. Once we’re outside I feel a slight chill run through me. It’s surprisingly warm for May and I stumble towards the wall along with him. We’re in a alley behind the warehouse and I can see the streetlights slightly illuminate the dark concrete floor. I’m back to chasing something trying to find the little piece of euphoria that i’m desperate for. It shows in the way I pull him towards me clashing my lips with his. He backs me up against the brick wall of the warehouse. I don’t feel anything though. I don’t feel the passion that usually comes along with a really amazing kiss. But, i’m determined to feel something. Every second that goes by the more tipsy I feel. I barely had anything to drink, wow my tolerance must be slipping. I can’t seem to think straight. This is usually when the euphoria kicks in, but this time it doesn’t. All I feel is a calm run through my limbs. A heavy peaceful calm. I stop kissing him and he notices. Instead he moves his lips down my neck and further south. I lean my head against the brick and look up at the sky, I can see the moon. It’s beautiful. I let him continue his trail down my neck. I can feel his hand slowly move up my dress in between my thighs. Despite everything he is doing the only thing my mind can seem to focus on is how beautiful the moon looks. The white circle contrasted against the dark blue canvas. He shoves his hand under my panties and I instinctively push him off. “I don’t feel anything!” I yell. He smiles at me and says something I don’t quite catch and then he is back on me, his lips on mine. And I try, I swear I try, to feel something, but I just can’t. God what’s wrong with me. I shove him off again and he raises an eyebrow at me, “I can’t feel anything!” I yell again.

“Oh baby I got somethin’ that’s gonna get you feelin’ real good,” he says smirking at me. He takes a step back towards me and lifts up my left leg and hitches it on his hip and grinds his pelvis against mine.

I begin to giggle, “No you don’t understand!!I don’t feel… ANYTHING!” I shout.

He sighs and takes a step back letting my leg fall back down. “I got something that can get you feeling again… if you want it.” He says pulling a small case out of his back pocket. I’m just drunk enough now to be too curious for my own good.

“And what’s that?” I ask. But my question is answered before he has a chance to speak. He pulls out a small white pill and holds it up to the light. I can already feel myself slipping back into old memories. I had some pretty amazing dark times in high school. Coping with the loss of both your parents is always better with some stimulants.

I know what’s waiting for me on the other side of this choice. And despite my state of intoxication I was capable of making a conscious choice. We all have choices in life don’t we. We all have paths to choose and as of now I saw two paths before me. Both equally terrifying: Resign myself to this new numb existence that has now become my reality or let go, just this once, and feel alive. And I want to feel alive so badly. We all have choices to make in life and sometimes the right choice seems so very unclear.

Just when I begin to question how it’s possible for me to be this intoxicated from a shot and half a cosmo I realize he must’ve put something in my drink. I smile at the thought as if the idea of horrifically drugging someone means nothing to me. The thing is I just really didn’t care. I didn’t care when he put the little white pill on his tongue. Or when he kissed me pushing it into my mouth. Or when I swallowed it. Or about anything else…

Bucky’s POV

I’m back at the bar, Bahni is off dancing with one of her friends that girl has so much energy. I look around trying to spot y/n but this place is huge. For some reason when I saw her smiling earlier most of my concern for her faded away. Maybe she will be fine after all…

y/n’s POV

I feel amazing. Like the best day i’ve ever had but intensified and crammed into the span of one minute. All the serotonin stored in my brain finally flows freely through my bloodstream after months and months of nothingness. I suddenly realize this isn’t going to last much longer and time feels almost infinitesimally sped up. I can’t waste this. I push the man who is currently pressed up against my body and he backs off looking at me curiously.

“I can’t feel anything,” I yell again. He’s not working. I have to find someone else.

“Calm down baby,” He says pushing me against the wall once again.

“Get off me!” I yell and when he doesn’t my impatience gets the better of me and I knee him hard and he buckles to the ground.

I stumble back into the warehouse that’s still booming with life and flashing primary colors. Other than the flashes of light, mostly blue, that is illuminating my path everything else is left dark. Darkness is very liberating, even with that random stranger bumping into me every five seconds. I’m caught up again in the beat of the music and the bright shining euphoria that’s running through my entire body, electrifying my soul. But even with some stranger feeling me up I don’t feel anything. The man across from me serves as a brief distraction and i’m lost again flowing peacefully with this great sense of elation. But like always lucidity returns in sharp stabs tearing through my bliss. One second my eyes are closed and I feel rapture then the next everything comes back and i’m left with the fear, the anxiety, that soon this upper will leave me falling all the way back down to reality. I’m not ready it can’t end not yet. I open my eyes and tilt my head up to the ceiling where I see the source of the flashing lights. I feel another pair of foreign lips on my skin and it feels electrifying. I’m lost again, eyes closed and at the cusp of glory, when my anxiety chooses to return. I shove the stranger off of me and start pushing my way through towards the bar. I have to find that guy again. I can’t go back now, not when i’m this high, not when i’m finally this happy. I can’t go back to my numbed existence. I need more. I just need it to stop for one second. I need it to stop for one glorious second in the sun.

Bucky’s POV

I throw back the contents of my glass and venture out into the crowd to find Bahni. It’s a little past 12 and i’m just about ready to drag Bahni back home when I spot y/n pushing against the crowd lost, just as I am. She spots me through a flash of red light and begins to stumble towards me. She looks scared.

y/n’s POV

I’m scared it’s going to go away. The glorious feeling is going to fade away soon. The spin of the universe is faster and every second that passes I can’t seem to get back. It’s going to wear off and I can’t, I can’t go back to nothingness again when i’ve seen what i’m capable of feeling. I have to find that guy again. In my frenzy I spot a familiar face and I forget my anxiety for a second. I smile walking over to him.

“James!” I yell through the music. Once I reach him I put my hands on his shoulders and lean on him.

“y/n?” he says instinctively grabbing my waist trying to steady me. “What’s wrong?” He shouts.

“Nothing!” I say laughing. Nothing is wrong. Everything is perfect and calm and electrifying and eternal and endless. “Dance with me James,” I lean up whispering into his ear and even through the blaring music I know he can hear me.

He seems stiff and I laugh. I wish I could share my euphoria with him, I wish I could make him as happy as I am right now.

“Do you feel it!” I yell closing my eyes and tilting my head up to the heavens. “Do you feel it. I feel it all.”

I pull him closer to me bringing his hands back to my waist. He’s so warm, everything about him is warm. He is summer and sun and light. He is an extension of me. I didn’t know it was possible to feel this connected to another person. Then suddenly every good amazing thing I felt was once again ripped away from me in another moment of lucidity. What am I doing? This is Bucky. But before I could think about that, an overwhelming sense of fear overtakes me. It’s going to go away. This feeling, it's ephemeral.

I can’t let it end. So my panicked mind goes to the next thing it knows to bring itself a little ecstasy.

Bucky’s POV

I am basically holding her up. My arms grasping her shoulders. She looks panicked now, whatever jubilation she had a second ago rapidly leaves her face. She stares at me with wide eyes filled with terror. I’ve got to get her to calm down. Fuck what did she take, I should have been watching her. I knew this was a bad idea.

“Kiss me,” she yells trying to push past my hold once again. But right now she’s fragile little y/n and I’m the strong one. She struggles against my grip to move closer. “Please i’m scared it’s going to stop. I can’t lose it again,” she says and my heart drops at her expression.

She looks like one of those wounded puppies struggling for life, for something to hold onto. I want to help her but I don’t understand. She stumbles a little and I move to catch her. I put my hands around her waist, my fingers dig into the blue velvet of her dress.

“Do you think i’m beautiful?” she asks looking up at me with panic filled eyes.

“What?” I stutter. “God… yes.” I say it as if it’s a private confession being torn from my lips.

My guard is lowered by her words and in a split second she breaks from my grip and pushes her body onto mine. I feel her lips on mine and her tongue along side my own and I forget. I forget where I am, who I am, everything… and I just let it be. It’s the calm before the storm. I feel her arms wrapped around my neck pulling me down and holding me in place. It’s not like I could break away from her now, even if I’d wanted to. She was apart of me now, an extension of me.

y/n’s POV

I feel his warm tongue on mine and I feel the helium move through my body lifting me up again. And in this moment, in this glorious moment, I know that I will never experience another like this in my entire life. It is true euphoria and I don’t know if it’s the MDMA or the kiss or him or me but I know.

I never have and I never will and just like that it’s gone. Time moves so fast here in this magical place. Once something is gone you can never get it back. I try, I try to hold onto it, I wrap my arms around his neck tighter and pull his body towards mine. But it’s gone and I can never get it back. And that’s when the panic sets in again.

Bucky’s POV

Then it’s over. She pushes off of me, releasing me from whatever spell she’d cast. The loss of her lips burned like a brand.

“I don’t feel it!” she yelled past the music surrounding us.

“y/n,” was all I could say and it came out as barely a whisper. Fuck I need to snap out of it, I need to get her somewhere safe. I need to make sure she’s alright.

She takes a wobbly step away from me and stumbles against someone on the crowded dancefloor. I move towards her to help her up but she puts her palms on my chest and pushes me back, “No!” she yells. “You… you don’t work anymore, I need, I need more.” She looks around as if she’s trying to find someone.

y/n’s POV

I’m lost. I see the flashes of light and the people and I feel something comfortingly warm around my waist. I feel the cold air on my skin again and the music is muffled. I’m outside. Back against some brick wall. The high is back but I feel it fading like the waves after a big storm. Like the ocean slowly returning back to it’s calm state.

I’m still holding onto him. I hope it’s him. I can’t see much, everything is so blurry and bright. I feel my way to his left arm and squeeze and i’m comforted by the feeling of hard metal. I run my hands up his chest and grab his collar pulling him back down to me. “God I feel amazing. I didn’t feel anything with that guy,” I say thinking out loud for some reason.

“What guy? Are you alright?” he asks and I can hear the panic behind his tone.

“Haha, I can take care of myself,” I reply.

I hear a sigh and he replies, “I know. I know you can.” He tries to move back out of my grasp, “I’m going to get us a cab okay?”

But I don’t let go, “Come on Bucky it’s not going to last much longer.”

“What’s not?”

“Touch me, God I feel it, don’t you? I didn’t know anything could feel so good, i’m scared it’s going to go away.” I say wrapping my hands around his neck. “I’m scared James, I’m so scared. It can’t go away.”

“It’s okay i’m right here, what did you take?” I hear him say trying to maintain a calm soothing voice.

“I’m scared I don’t want it to stop, kiss me.” I say pulling him back down to my lips.

“y/n. Calm down.” He says pulling away from me. Instead he puts his flesh hand on my cheek and I lean into it. I release my grip on him and put my hands over his holding his warm palm to my cheek.

“Make me feel something,” I beg. Just for a second, I think the warmth of his hand is enough. But then, just like always the fear returns. I feel so empty and numb.

I wanted him to crush my fragile ribs and make me feel something. Oh god I just want to feel something. I knew it would wear off faster than i’d wanted it to. I need to get it back. I just wanted to feel something. Anything, I didn’t care what it was pain, pleasure, despair I would take it all.

“Fuck me, make me feel something.”

Bucky’s POV

I can tell she’s grasping, clawing, at anything to make her feel and it’s tearing me apart because I know just how terrifying that is. But, this isn’t about me. I have to be strong for her. I turn to the street making sure not to let go of her and hail a cab.

“Come on,” I say putting my arm around her. She follows me, thankfully without much protest. Once we’re in the cab she closes her eyes and rests her head on my shoulder. It’s a relatively short ride back to her place. I would take her back to the tower, but I know she wouldn’t want anyone she knows seeing her like this.

Once the car comes to a stop in front of her building I get out first then carefully lift her out. The cab pulls away and I walk her lifeless body toward the lobby door.

“Oh god,” I hear her say from besides me. Then I feel a warm liquid run down my left side. She bends down and pukes. I quickly grab her making sure she doesn’t fall. “I’m so sorry.” she says. “There’s vomit all over you.”

“Are you alright?”

“No god i’m so sorry. I… can. I can wash that for you.” “y/n are you alright. You need to answer my questions alright?”

“I… oh my god there’s so much vomit in my hair,” she says looking down and picking at the strands.

“Don’t worry about that.” I say lifting her face up to meet her eyes. They look lost. “Are you alright? I need to know if you feel okay. So I know if I need to get you help.”

“No! No!” she says in a panic. “I’m fine. Don’t tell Cho.”

The panic is back and I need to calm her down, “It’s okay i’m not going to call Cho. I just want to make sure you’re alright.”

“I am. I.. I just need a shower.”

“Okay, come on.” I say leading her carefully to the door. Once we’re inside she stands at the foot of the long staircase and looks up.

“Do you want me to carry you?” I say looking at her. It’s seven floors up and I don’t want her to fall.

“No.. no I can do it.” She says taking on the challenge like in every other aspect of her life.

It’s a long climb but she finally makes it upstairs. I walk close beside her holding her hand making sure she doesn’t slip. I unlock her apartment door and let her inside. She stumbles towards her bedroom and I run after her. She makes it to the shower and slides open the glass door and turns on the hot water and sinks down onto the tiled floor. I’m beside her and stray splashes of water hit me soaking my clothing.

“Do you need help?” I ask kneeling beside her. Not caring that i’m getting wet.

“No.. no I can…” she pauses. “Bucky?” she says looking up at me. Her hair is wet now and her makeup is running.

“Yes?” I say.

“You’re… you’re getting wet.” She says with genuine concern filling her eyes.

“It doesn’t matter. Do you need help.”

“Yes.” She lets out a small sob. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay I say grasping her hand. You don’t have to apologize okay. Everything is okay.” She looks back down and closes her eyes.

“I’m cold,” she says. I lean over and turn the hot water up. I’m surprised the heat of the water doesn’t melt her skin. Even to me it’s uncomfortably hot but I stay beside her.

I slowly undo the clasp on her heels and take them off and place them to the side. “Do you want me to take your dress off?” I ask.

“Yes,” she says after failing to do it herself.

She leans over and I unzip it slowly. “Can you stand?” I ask maneuvering her out of the soaked fabric while she’s still on the floor would be tough.

“Yes,” she says trying to push herself up.

“Here put your arms around me,” I say leaning over her. She wraps her arms weakly around my neck and I pull us both up. We’re both standing under the water now and i’m completely soaked and I don’t care. It could matter less to me that i’m covered in vomit and standing fully clothed in a shower. I slowly peel the blue dress down her body and toss it to the side. She’s not wearing a bra and she shivers at the loss of fabric. Her arms are still around my neck and I slowly back her towards the wall so she can stabilize herself.

“I’m going to run you a bath okay?” it occurs to me that this process would be much more comfortable if she’s in a nice warm bath. I make sure she can stand and I walk over to the tub and turn on the hot water.

y/n’s POV

It’s so cold and no matter how high I turn the hot water knob I can’t seem to warm up. I pull down my panties and toss them with my dress and sink back down towards the floor hugging my knees.

Bucky’s POV

I turn back around and find y/n on the floor and rush to her. “Hey, hey are you okay?”

“Yes,” she says, “It’s just hard to stand.”

I put my arms under her and lift her up and walk towards the tub. I carefully place her in the hot water and she seems to relax when her skin comes in contact with the scalding liquid. She stretches her limbs in the water and leans her head back. “I’m going to go get a bowl okay? To wash you hair.”

Before I can leave she grabs my arm. My metal arm. “James.” She says. “You are very noble.” I look down at her sitting in the tub. The water slowly rising covering her half submerged naked body.

“It’s okay y/n i’ll be right back.” I say leaving her alone in the bathroom.

y/n’s POV

He’s back in a flash and I can feel him slowly sit me up. I lean my head back and I feel him pour water over my hair. Then his fingers, then a comb slowly combing out the stray chunks of vomit. I close my eyes and feel myself melt into the water. After a while my hair is knot free and clean. I feel a soapy loofa slowly rub my skin and I lean back against the tub and enjoy the calm feeling on my skin.

“y/n?” I hear him say.

“Hmm?,” I hum in reply.

“I need you to tell me what you took.”

“Some good old X,” I say. “MDMA, it was big in the 80s. Were you around for that?” I says with the faintest amount of humor in my tone.

“Yes I was around for that.” he replies.

“You can’t tell Cho okay?” I say. “She will worry.”

“I won’t.”

“Did you know I had a whole drug problem in college. Cho would kill me if she knew what happened tonight.” I say confessing some of my most well kept secrets to him. “It was mostly Amphetamines, back then you know.”

“I didn’t know that.” He says.

“Good, I don’t like people knowing. It makes me feel… less than. I like people knowing i’m strong.”

“You are strong y/n. You’re one of the strongest people I’ve known.” He replies.

“Bucky?” I say.

“Yes?” He replies.

“I’m sleepy.”

“Okay. I can take you to bed.” He says getting up to help me out of the tub. I giggle at his phrasing, “What?” He asks.

“You’ve got to admit we’d have some pretty amazing sex.” I say. Apparently I’m thinking out loud now.

“What?” He says his voice breaking it’s calm and controlled tone.

I slowly put my arm around him and he lifts me up to my feet. I carefully step out of the tub and we walk towards the bedroom. “Admit it. You’ve had to have thought about it.”

“Have you?” he asks after he sits me down on my bed. It’s cold and I feel another shiver go through me. He walks over to my nightstand and digs through the draws.

“I have actually. That’s how I came to my previously stated conclusion.” I say laughing. More at the situation than at him.

He walks back over to me with a sweater and I lift up my arms as he pulls it over me. He lifts my left leg up and pulls it through the leg of a pair of thick grey sweatpants I own. Once my other leg is in he carefully helps me stand up and pulls them up snug against my waist. I sit back down and he kneels in front of me. The room is dark. Neither of us bothered to turn on the light when we came in. The only light in the room now radiates from the bathroom and the streetlights outside my window. He looks into my eyes debating whether to speak or not.

“Why are you so confusing y/n?” he asks finally.

“When am I ever confusing?” I say smiling at him.

He sighs and lifts my leg again one at a time to pull on a pair of fuzzy socks. “Warm enough now?” He asks.

“Yes,” I say lifting my legs over and onto my bed. I slip under my covers and turn towards Bucky who is still kneeling bedside. He gets up and turns, but before he can leave panic grips me and I reach out and grab his arm. “Stay with me.” I say not wanting to be left alone with my thoughts.

“I will,” he says looking down at me. “I’m just going to go shower and clean up okay?”

“Okay.” I say.

I watch him walk away towards the bathroom and I close my eyes. I feel so relaxed like i’m melting into my bed. Like everything in the world is good.

Bucky’s POV

I strip off my sick covered clothes and step in the shower quickly washing myself. I sigh standing under the jet of water. I think I’ve seen her soul tonight. I’ve seen her naked, i’ve seen her bare emotionally I mean. I turn off the water and step out of the shower. I find a spare towel hanging around and wrap it around my waist. I pick up our clothes off of the floor and walk outside back to the bedroom. She’s asleep. Good. She looks peaceful asleep. I quietly walk towards the kitchen and toss our clothes in the wash.

By the time the drier comes to a stop, I’m basically asleep myself. I pull our clothes out and lay out y/n’s dress on a chair and pull on my boxers and shirt. I walk over towards the bedroom and peek my head in. She’s still sleeping. I make my way back out to the living room and lay down on the sofa. I slowly melt into some much needed sleep. This is the fastest I’ve fallen asleep. Usually it takes me awhile, but i’m not even conscious long enough to ponder this idea.

“Bucky, Bucky?” I hear a voice call pulling me out of my sleep. It’s a faint, but i’m a light sleeper and I sit up. It’s coming from the bedroom and I walk towards the sound.

“y/n,” I say poking my head in.

“I thought you left,” she says sitting up.

“I’m here, I was just asleep outside.” I say reassuring her. I walk over towards the bed and sit on the empty side. “Go back to sleep.”

“Stay with me,” she says reaching out for my hand.

“I will. I will,” I say trying to assure her, not wanting the fits of panic she’s been getting all night to return. She pulls my arm and I lay down beside her.

She lays back down and turns her body so that she’s facing mine. Sleep is slowly beginning to wash over me and in between my heavy blinks I can see her watching me.

“I’m not confusing James. You just never ask.” she says smiling at me.

What? Her words echo through my brain. I look at her and her eyes are closed again. She’s peacefully breathing and the sound is rhythmically soothing. I never ask? I never ask. I’ve never told her…

...

More than anything I want to kiss her. Just once more. I want to feel her lips against mines. Taste her. But above all I want to feel her reaction, I want to know what she thinks and feels when she thinks of me. I want to ask her. I want to know if she would pull away, disgusted. Or if she’d stand there, shocked. Or if she’d feel betrayed to find out i’d been hiding behind the mask of friendship while concealing deeper feelings within. Or if by some miracle I’d like to know if she’d kiss me back. Not when she’s high out of her mind but when she’s sober and clear. I want to know how that would feel. Pushing her tiny frame against mine. Her lips moving back in time with my own. Her small hands in my hair. The gasp she’d let out against my mouth. I want to feel all of it. And I can, I can find out the answer to my question right now. She’s asleep next to me.

I can do this, “y/n” I shake her awake and she looks up at me with wide eyes. It looks like she’s almost glowing, an angelic figure. Then I do it. I lean down and gently kiss her. It takes everything left inside me to restrain myself, to kiss her gently, softly. Then I let her go and move my face away from hers to see her reaction, she’s still looking up at me. I’m ready, i’m ready to ask her now. I’m ready to tell her.

“I knew you were plain old vanilla James,” she says before I can speak. She grabs my hair and tugs me back down towards her lips. This kiss was different it was rough and searing. Her tongue invaded my mouth and I was too shocked to react. She tasted like something sweet… mango? She tasted like mango ice cream. Like the ice cream she gave me on our first movie night. James? y/n never calls me James. I stop and pull my face away from hers. “No,” she moans still holding onto my neck. “Don’t you want me James?” She’s glowing. Literally glowing. I move my left hand to touch her glowing face. I know it’s a dream when I see it. Instead of my metal arm I brush her cheek with the fingers of my human hand, the one I lost so many years ago.

#bucky smut #bucky fluff #bucky x reader #bucky fic #bucky fanfiction

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beyondthetemples-ooc · 5 years ago

Text

“Telling” Asks

Because I’m relaxing today and I’ve never answered some of these before.

From: https://beyondthetemples-ooc.tumblr.com/post/185158056997/weird-asks-that-say-a-lot

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Teacups would be ideal, but the reality is more water bottles.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops? Honestly? Neither. (Unless it's a really good chocolate bar, like 85% dark, or Cadbury's~)

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? Both are too sweet for me. (Though, maybe once a year, I'll indulge in one of each.)

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? Bottles, if it's not soda! (Good for multi-tasking and not spilling!) But otherwise, glass cups. Unless the plastic ones are really pretty or have a very nice grippy shape to them.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? Oh always goth, all the way. Technically a more "formal" goth (romantigoth is the label i'd choose if i HAD to pick one),

7. earbuds or headphones? That depends. When I'm active, or when it's hot outside? Earbuds. But when travelling, trying to work in a loud environment, or generally needing sound cancellation: definitely headphones.

8. movies or tv shows? Oh, that REALLY depends on the content. Movies are easier on the ADD, and most TV shows are paced TERRIBLY in the long-running format, but then there's, like... cartoons, basically, that have satisfying stories in each episode AND a great overarching plot.

9. favorite smell in the summer? Pre-Thunderstorm Static.

10. game you were best at in p.e.? I wasn't the best at ANY game in PE... ;P Honestly, my best "game" was probably....... tag, but the kind where they're running away from you as a form of bullying, so you just embrace it and "touch" them just to mess with them.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? I don't. (I don't feel hungry most mornings.) "First lunch" is usually a piece of fruit and maybe a granola bar.

12. name of your favorite playlist? I don't do "playlists", I do "play every album by this artist in chronological order"! But I guess my Epica and Evanescence stations on Pandora come pretty close, huh?

13. lanyard or key ring? Neither actually; I use those bungee-like things you can stretch to hold my things. I literally attach my wallet to my bag's handle with those so I don't lose it.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? Peppermint? Candied ginger? Do s'mores count?~

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? Oh DAMN that's hard... Let's see. If AR Summer Reading projects count: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire? The Invisible Thread (by Yoshiko Uchida)? Fahrenheit 451? And if those don't count, maybe The Scarlet Letter (by Hawthorne, of course).

16. most comfortable position to sit in? Your classic lotus position. I'm essentially in it right now.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? Work shoes, but outside of work? Black flip flops.

18. ideal weather? Realistically: 65, light breeze, and lots of clouds with a little rain. But my absolute FAVORITE weather was something I've only ever seen ONCE, and that was a thunderstorm in the middle of a snowstorm. It was incredible and the image of lightning against the snowfall is forever seared into the core of my soul as one of the most gorgeous things I've ever experienced.

19. sleeping position? Varies night by night. Safe to call it a general Flop.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? It depends on the draft! First drafts are best done for me in notebooks (usually, unless it's a scene with No Chronology Yet, it's in the notebook meant for the story)! But also, anything that's on hand whenever a new scene strikes me works too. I've written on napkins, calendar pages, doctor notes, and Greyhound bus tickets.

21. obsession from childhood? Ooh, Teen Titans, still to this day!

22. role model? ...Rrrraven? (And/or, my Actual Mentors. But it's very much a "don't be me, just let us try to teach you some things so you can be the Best You".)

23. strange habits? ...oh gods, where do I even begin. I meditate and practice energy work on the daily. I touch things almost any time I'm walking anywhere, like just reach my hands out a little and touch whatever's closest. I tend to ask a lot of questions when I'm talking to someone, lots of "why is that". I compulsively read Every Single Ingredient on every box I buy and research anything I'm not familiar with. Does taking like 15 pills and vitamins every day count? And also my "nesting" behavior, any time I'm somewhere I feel it's not rude to re-arrange, I grab pillows and blankets for support.

24. favorite crystal? Damnit, all my favorite stones are actually not "crystals"?! But crystalline azurite is close enough. (It kind of depends on the day and what energy I'm looking for. Stone/crystal work is another one of those weird habits. ;P )

25. first song you remember hearing? The "Arthur" themsong. I remember going to my mother and being like, "They said A! A is a letter!" And it wasn't for another, like, 3-5 years that I'd realize, they're saying "hey", not "A".

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? Stay inside. (Anything that counts as "warm" rather than "cool" is too warm for me....) But if I had to pick ONE thing, definitely swimming, in a lake (because I have a mild chlorine allergy).

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? ALL of them! Just being outside as long as it's not too sunny! Hiking, meditating, I used to do all my spiritual rituals outside, reading, walking, hell even at work when we have dogs to take on walks, I love walking in the park with them. Being outside when it's snowing. And then curling up in my room, on my soft bed, with a cup of tea and a book (or a great fanfic) after...

28. five songs to describe you? Teen Titans themesong, Bakura's Theme, What's the Use of Feeling (Blue) 1. End of the Dream, by Evanescence [ x ] 2. My Demons, by Starset [ x ] 3. Underneath, by Tarja [ x ] 4. Paradise (What About Us), Within Temptation ft. Tarja [ x ] 5. Reality Fringe, by Alex Dalliance

29. best way to bond with you? Talking, communicating, while respecting boundaries, with patience and sincerity.

30. places that you find sacred? Honestly, the biggest answers are a part of the Nexus and I don't think I'm ready to talk about that here;; Let's just say, astral adventures have gotten wild enough that my spirit guide and I have meeting places that are sacred, my leader-goddess has shown me a few places, and there are some "places" within my own mindscape that are sacred enough.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? Oh honey, that depends entirely on my mood. And the situation. I have multiple cloaks, some closet cosplays, I wear skirts every day, business jackets, and I can mix and match them however I please. It REALLY depends on whose ass I'm kicking.

32. top five favorite vines? I know I really like Thomas Sanders? But specifics-- Oh. Oh crap, wait I have to visit my vines tag to remember my favorites. DEFINITELY "This bitch empty. YEET" because I didn't know the vine OR exclamation before I saw a fanart that had me DYING OF LAUGHTER, thinking someone just made Blue Diamond yell the word "YEET" for no reason. "FREE-shuh-VAH-cuhdu" makes me die every time. "There's only one thing worse... A CHILD" is TOP QUALITY, genuinely hits at least 3 critical notes of my sense of humor. I love the one with the guys playing the piano (I don't know what genre but it's old-school and chill) and the guy comes in and starts club dancing to it. And the umbrella one with, "Run".

33. most used phrase in your phone? ...probably "if you want"?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? I haven't seen an ad in literally years. (get uBlock Origin, it works way better than adblock! also, i don't Internet on my phone.)

35. average time you fall asleep? 11pm? (Work nights: 9-10:30, depending on my exhaustion levels. Not work nights? 1-3am.)

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? The actual LOLcats website!

37. suitcase or duffel bag? Neither; I actually use a mid-sized messenger bag and only use Personal Item Sized Bags for airplane trips. Free baggage, y'all. ;P

38. lemonade or tea? Oh tea, definitely tea. (Unless it's too-sweet iced black tea; then that watermelon mint lemonade wins.)

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? Iiii actually can hardly eat either one, but Starbucks' lemon loafs were addictive (but really bad for my system) and I do love lemon meringue flavored things~

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? M e . (I did weird shit like practice reading auras, accidentally warp the moodscape of everyone around me, and get an A on a pop quiz the teacher didn't lecture about for more than five minutes.)

41. last person you texted? An old high school friend I recently reconnected with.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket, since I don't wear pants (unless work forces me to, ew).

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? I have no idea what differentiates them. =w=;; Cardigan probably, because I know they have really long flowy elegant ones I like to wear sometimes.

44. favorite scent for soap? ...ooh, that's tough... Lavender's always a good bet, rosemary-mint was a delight, I cucumber-eucalyptus was nice, and I have no idea what scent it was, but a local soap-maker at the farmer's market in the city I lived in for a couple years had this one that was made with, like, honey and red clay, and it felt AMAZING.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? Damnit, don't make me CHOOSE like this! I mean, for writing obviously Superhero because I write fanfics like hell for that genre, but I guess my Pokemon fanfics count as fantasy? And, come to think of it, most of my stories center around metaphysical weirdness is some way or other, so... straddling the line between fantasy and superhero.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? Nudity.

47. favorite type of cheese? ...provolone maybe? ??

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? Pomegranate, probably. Gotta do some work to get to the good stuff, strangely unavailable most of the time, and once you get past all the drawbacks, it's just absolutely loaded with compartmentalized goodness.

49. what saying or quote do you live by? Bold of you to assume I only have one quote! Here's just a small sampling. ~ "Don't you want to feel? Don't you want to live your life? How much longer are you gonna give into the fear?" -Disappear, by Evanescence. ~ "Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night." -Edgar Allen Poe ~ "Be yourself, everyone else is already taken." -Oscar Wilde ~ "Guilt is a powerful motivator. Redemption, even greater." -The Unforgiving, by Within Temptation et al. "When you know in your soul who you are, you can never be corrupted again." -Raven, from the Games graphic novel. + Various quotes from my organization, along the lines of things like "Any Tom, Dick, or Harry can do your job, but only you can be there for your friends, family, and accomplish your dreams", and "When you understand WHY we do what we do, WHAT we do makes more sense".

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? My girlfriend? Most of those vines I mentioned? "OH TITS IT CAN FLY"?

51. current stresses? j o b

52. favorite font? Arial, simple yet elegant. Easy to read. I write all my stories in Arial, so I'm biased. l3

53. what is the current state of your hands? They're in Ohio with the rest of me? 8F No, but seriously, lowkey aching a bit around the finger joints from constantly dragging dogs around for a whopping 60 hours this week, but they're not burned and there's only one Tiny cut I got at work, and I still don't know why, but that's almost gone already. I like my fingernails too, they've been breaking at the corners lately but they're still Decently Long.

54. what did you learn from your first job? "Turn tables" are not, in fact, the name of a band, but an item of musical arrangement. (I worked at the Exchange and someone asked if we had anything like the turn tables. I thought they meant musically similar to a band named Turn Tables.)

55. favorite fairy tale? Does the epic poetry of the Kalevala story count? (Finland's national epic!) But I'm not a big fan of the Grimm style fairy tales.

56. favorite tradition? Going to Evanescence concerts at every single available opportunity? Wearing a bracelet my gf gave me and a ring my mother gave me any time I travel? I'm not one much for Generational Tradition at all, I do kinda like forming my own though~

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? Literally just, myself. 1. Overcoming my doubt in myself. 2. Overcoming my social anxiety re: Starting Conversations. 3. Overcoming my phobia so I could, you know. Eat food.

58. four talents you’re proud of having? ?! How do you even define what constitutes a "talent"? 1. WRITING! (Creativity re: characters and the plots they're in. Descriptive writing. My mother always acts blown away whenever she reads my writing re: "how you get into the character's head".) 2. I can speak very eloquently and articulately, most of the time. And not just via verbiage; I know how to say things that Matter. 3. I can cook a fantastic stir-fry! And, apparently, really good soup. 4. I'm proud of my (non-numerical) eidetic memory, sometimes. It's kinda just There, and I'm not, like, ACTIVELY proud of it, but it sure makes things easier re: remembering friends' triggers, fandom trivia, etc.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? What makes you think I don't create each response on demand? (There's... really not something I think I say often enough to count as a catch phrase. So I legitimately have no idea.)

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? Is "dark magical girl anime" a thing? Because that'd be MY thing.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? See above quotes.

62. seven characters you relate to? 1. R A VE N that's it that's the list Theeee only other ones I relate to are kinda awkward answers to give for this (re Synpathy and such related topics), but then again there's hella sympathy for Raven too, so.... 2. Ryou Bakura 3. Blue Diamond 4. Lapis Lazuli 5. Malachite (it's Complicated) 6. Sucy 7. Crona

63. five songs that would play in your club? Just insert any five Alex Dalliance songs here, I don't listen to a whole lot of Club Style Music. (Unless.... does, like, Cascada and Caramel count? Because I still kinda like their styles.) My "club" would be more like orchestrals by Danny Elfman and Evanescence instrumentals and/or live music from local rock bands.

64. favorite website from your childhood? TitansGo.Net! Screenshots, transcripts, even the forums... I browsed that site on the daily.

65. any permanent scars? Oh boy, are you sure you're ready for this? My scars fade quickly, but you'll see them if you know what to look for. One on my forearm from when I fell off a bed onto a broken fan grate at age 5 (it's a 3-inch long gash), on my left pointer finger from being bitten by an angry rabbit, scars on my heels from my comic!Raven cosplay shoes, scar on my right hip from using rubber cement to attach a scar prosthetic for a Kary cosplay (at my supposedly practical-effects-knowledgeable father's advice-- not good advice at all, for the record, don't put that shit anywhere NEAR your skin), tiny spot on my right hand from the time I became too emotional at my girlfriend's house and scraped it on her carpet, tiny dot on my left shoulder from a protruding nail in an old (pavillon without a roof thing?) we once had in the backyard, tiny line on my right ring finger from the time Belle nearly fell from right next to me and I caught her (she tried to grab something and wound up scratching me), and a scar on my right elbow from cleaning the tortilla press at Chipotle. (They didn't tell me there were protective gloves to use. They really should've told me that.)

66. favorite flower(s)? Oh gosh, I don't know. I like almost all flowers, really. I love the scent of lilac and magnolia in the air. Rose and hibiscus make lovely teas. Seeing mint and lemon balm in bloom always makes me feel contented. Willow and basswood flowers remind me of happy childhood memories at the nature reserve. Pink hibiscus flowers have Very Special Meaning to me (for the other blog, really). And of course, flowers with energy or aromatherapeutic effects like lavender are favorites, too.

67. good luck charms? Look, I don't NEED good luck.~ Confidence, strategy, and being alright with whatever happens are my "good luck charms". (And throwing a little magic at it never hurts when I REALLY want something...)

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? ....I'm not comfortable answering that (phobia memories, just not gonna think about that okay.)

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? ...Remember that eidetic memory I was talking about? Every single little tiny fact I'm thinking about, I can remember how I learned about it.

70. left or right handed? Ambi, actually! 55% right. 45% left.

71. least favorite pattern? That depends on what it's for. Wallpapers? Floral (it kills my ADD, but floral patterns can make some very pretty dresses and blankets). Furniture? Paisley (but some people rock it in clothes). Furniture? any kind of fur trim (but again, it looks good on clothes). Clothing on me? Leopard and zebra (but I like it on lots of other things). My room? Checkered and tartan (but again, good patterns for other things, esp. clothing and interior styles that AREN'T associated with my room in particular, my room's just so noncomforming and cluttered that Busy Patterns like that aren't). I guess overall I'm just not a fan of highly stripey or square-y patterns?

72. worst subject? Math. Always has been. Probably always will be.

73. favorite weird flavor combo? The weirdest and actually not the grossest I tried was, out of curiosity to see what Tamaranian food might ACTUALLY taste like, I mixed sushi with ice cream. It really wasn't that bad! That one's my favorite for fandom reasons. 8P I don't do a whole lot of "weird" flavor combos otherwise.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? (Those... those are the same thing, buddy.) 8 or 9. NSAIDs, especially naproxen and ibuprofen, really irritate my stomach, so it has to be worth a week or two of Lowkey Constant Nausea to take it. For example, the last time I was waking it, I had dry socket. You know, that thing that happens when you get a tooth extracted and the blood clot doesn't form, so YOUR ACTUAL BONE IS EXPOSED for two FUCKING weeks..... and before the dental stuff, I would only take it when Monthly Stuff would get so bad, it could leave my crippled and crying on the bathroom floor for an hour. (Might've been longer if stepmom hadn't gotten me n0aproxen.....)

75. when did you lose your first tooth? Hell if I know what age that was, I think I swallowed it.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? Potato soup, especially my mother's! But I also like BAKED fries (actually fried fries tend to be... Really Badly Received by my system;;), kettle chips are pretty good in small amounts, and I love those criss-cross cut fries at Mr. Hero (I just can't eat more than, like, five at a time, guh).

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? I absolutely LOVED having my lemon balm. But it got the aerial blight from my peace lily, and it died with all the rest of my houseplants. :c

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Sushi from a grocery store, just because this place called Giant Eagle makes some fairly good sushi for like $5 on certain days of the week, and I think they make it every 3-4 days. Fresh, like you can see them making it right in front of you.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? My passport is actually my best, I think~ Though my college ID didn't look bad, either.

80. earth tones or jewel tones? Depends on what they're for. Clothes, I guess jewel tones because I like blue and purple. But for interior decorations, earth tones like deep rich browns and black are my go-to.

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? They're.. the same thing? ??? I've used both interchangeably.

82. pc or console? PC, mostly because that's all I've had most of my life, and of course DC Universe Online was on my PC so maybe I'm biased. 8F

83. writing or drawing? Oooh, writing for me, all the way~ (Though I gotta do SOME drawing now and again!)

84. podcasts or talk radio? Neither, they're both too long for my ADD. And I don't... really care about most people on them? The only one I've ever seen was Amy Lee on short talk show interviews and the Steven Universe podcast with MKAtwood of course.

84. barbie or polly pocket? Neither. (I had both. Played with Polly Pocket because it came with a lot more animals, but those got lost way too easily, and I never got into the Barbie.)

85. fairy tales or mythology? They're both equally important and equally fascinating! Mythology has more Spiritual Resonance, and fairy tales have more Societal Resonance.

86. cookies or cupcakes? Depends on what kind! Oatmeal raisin cookies beat chocolate cupcakes, but red velvet cupcakes with a cream cheese frosting beat chocolate chip cookies.

87. your greatest fear? I have emet*phobia. You can look up what that means yourself because I don't even want to type the word, thanks.

88. your greatest wish? Just, freedom.

89. who would you put before everyone else? Damn it, I'm too compassionate for that answer. Whoever needs it more at that very moment.

90. luckiest mistake? Being so antisocial that the people running the ALP program made me sit with my girlfriend. I asked "Do you like Teen Titans?", and the rest is history.

91. boxes or bags? Boxes for long-term storage, bags for the daily.

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? Lamps, generally. Candles trump them all, but LED lamps are a lot less fire-hazard-y when you might fall asleep. lD;;

93. nicknames? RHS, RWT, Shadow, Zira (means "Shadow"), closest friends call me Rae.

94. favorite season? Winter~ It's the kindest to my easily-overheated sensibilities.

95. favorite app on your phone? Prooobably the voicemail app my or/ganization uses? I don't do much else on my phone besides, you know. Phone stuff (talk/text).

96. desktop background? PC: A shot of Raven meditating in the forest from Justice League vs. Teen Titans, with the incense and glow and her head bowed and focused and everything. Laptop: The sky as Lapis looked up at it, the gorgeous Homeworld constellation from "Ocean Gem".

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? Three. Mine, my girlfriend's, and only because she had the same phone number since I was like 8 years old, my stepmother's. Everyone else's keeps changing.

98. favorite historical era? The answer I want to give is Nexus-related, but I don’t think I have a real favorite era. I know too much about the history of misogyny, racism, colonialism, variation between eras around the world, and generally fucked-up shit in every era I've ever learned about.

#IRL canon #meme #filled meme

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theforestwarden · 7 years ago

Text

Seeing the Forest Through the Woods | Solo

Word Count: 3,013 Triggers: Emotional Abuse Mention Timeline: The night of 7/19 Featuring: Atwood Walker (And Mention of Ward Walker)

If Forest knew what was going to happen he would have worn nicer clothes.

But of course he didn’t know that interdimensional travel was even a thing let alone a thing that was going to happen to him. At 11pm at night. While he was in sweatpants and his ‘Looking Sharp’ cactus tee shirt he got at plant con last summer. Luckily though it happened suddenly, Forest barely registering what was going on until he was standing barefoot at the end of a seedy bar, filled with seedy looking people, who were now staring straight at him.

Glancing around at all of the faces Forest opened his mouth to say something, but his words were stolen from him as that all too familiar burning sensation crept into his mind. This time though, this time it was nothing he’d ever felt before. It was as if someone had set his arms on fire, the pain so intense he could feel his knees buckle out from underneath him, hands grasping for the wood of the bar. But it was too late, his body finding the slightly sticky floor before Forest could protest.

“Woods are you ok?” One of the parton’s closest to him asked as he slid off of his bar stool the jingle of metal signaling his approach. Even through the streaks of pain that danced through his vision Forest could see that the dude was concerned for him, or whomever he was supposed to be. “What’s going on?”

Looking up Forest tried to tried to answer but he couldn’t figure out what words to use, how to express what he was feeling at this moment, the pain the confusion, the just, everything.

“Don’t know, but it’s safe to say I’ve never felt better.” came the voice above him, cigarette smoke accosting his nostrils. Opening his eyes towards the voice Forest could feel his mouth open in shock, eyes opening wider. Because it was as if he was looking in a mirror, the person staring back at him the same person he saw everyday in the bathroom. Except, this person, this person was different somehow. He held himself differently. I mean he was holding a beer, a shoving a pack of cigarettes into his jeans pocket for pete’s sake. And just-

Was he dreaming?

He had to be dreaming right?

Like this was too weird not to be like a passed out fever dream right?

“Wait. If you’re there then he must be one of those-” Came the voice of the first man, practically taking the words out of Forest’s own mouth

And that’s when it hit him. He wasn’t dreaming, he must be in that place, the Ash River place people kept talking about. And if this town was anything like Ashkent Creek they would know what was happening right here right now and they would know how to get him back to his own dimension somehow. Or so he hoped.

“Forest.” He croaked through the pain pointing to himself “Ashkent Creek.”

His dopplelganger smiled at him, crouching down to meet his eyes. He smelled like cigarette smoke yes, but underneath, there was a sense, a sense of familiarity, a sense of knowing, even though Forest had never met this person in his entire life. Or rather he’d never met another version of himself.

There was a small pause with blue green eyes meeting blue green eyes. And Forest could see like, there were difference yes, but. It was him in a way. I mean yes he was dressed better, there was no doubt about that, the pair of nice dark wash jeans fitting his double like they were made for him, and the sleeves of his nice collared shirt rolled up in such a casual and effortless way that Forest knew he could never replicate. But he was the same inside, Forest could feel it, from the way his perfectly coiffed hair didn’t quite hold in the gel this late at night, or the small practically polka dot pattern of - and Forest couldn’t help but internally smile at this- of cacti littering his shirt. “So your mom give you that one?” The doppelgänger asked after a small snort. As if he didn’t just ask the weirdest question one could ask after basically meeting your double.

Real Forest raised an involuntary eyebrow “Um Yea?” he whispered not knowing why his mom naming him Forest (or rather Deforest) was even relevant to the whole two people who looked exactly the same in one place thing. But apparently it was, and he was in too much pain to really question it.

Crouching there in awkward silence, the double regarded him again, the silence of the bar almost deafening. All eyes still on Forest. “Even in an alternate dimension she’s still a dick isn’t she?” The double commented, unfazed by the attention.

Narrowing his eyes at his double, Forest just stared openly at him. As if to say like. Wow, we’re going there are we? without the words part. But just like he was unfazed by the attention he was getting by the patrons of the bar the doppelgänger was unfazed by that too, a grin just spreading across his face and he stood up again.

“Harley, I think I’m going to need some space to talk to my new friend Forest here.” He stated quiet loudly, clapping the first man on the shoulder as he eyed the rest of the crowd. And it was like he’d flipped a switch back on, the men sitting at the bar going back to their conversations, everyone just resuming business as usual. You know as if Forest just wasn’t there hunched over practically dying on the floor of a busy bar.

And it would be an understatement it Forest didn’t mention just how much he was in awe of this person. Just literally in awe of his confidence, and the way he held himself against people who were definitely his senior in every way.

Watching him though Forest noticed the double turn his body more toward the other man though voice quieter than it had been the first time. “If Ward comes in tell him he needs to come back later because I’m busy and I don’t need him swooping in pretending hes got any rights to tell me what to do.”

The man named Harley glanced toward Forest and then back to the double “You really want me to say that to him?” He questioned his tone of voice expressing that that was probably not a very good idea at all.

“Precisely those words please and thank you” The double retorted with a smirk. He was obviously fully aware of how much shit this Ward was going to give him but literally didn’t care. Good Lord, this version of him was so awesome.

Sitting there, as the pain shot up his arms Forest rest his head and back against the wood of the bar wondering what was going to happen next. No one looked like they were going to hurt him, especially since he looked like this dude but yea, he knew better than that.

What he didn’t expect however was for his double to turn back toward him and gracefully slid himself down right next to him, not a drop of beer spilled in the process. “Woods” He nodded towards Forest once he was comfortably seated (though how could one really be comfortably seated on a sticky bar floor Forest had no idea) his idle hands lifting his neglected beer to his lips.

“Forest” Forest replied, still finding this situation incredibly weird. Especially when you put the whole Woods and Forest thing together. He wondered if like himself, that was his real name or just the name he liked to go by.

Sitting there for a moment however Forest just winced slightly, at the pain, and just the awkwardness of this whole situation. But like with everything Woods didn’t seem to mind. In fact all the boy did was fiddle with the laces of his prefect boots (because of course he just had perfect boots to go with the flawless everything else) before tucking them into his body and bringing himself to a crossed legged position. And it was weird how Forest had heard he wanted to “talk” to him or something, but Woods had yet to really even speak to him.

Looking out at the legs of the crowd around the bar Forest mulled it over. Maybe he was afraid, maybe he wasn’t as talkative as he seemed or maybe and this one seemed the most plausible. Maybe he was just here to protect Forest from the rest of them.

Yea that seemed like a them thing to do.

Trying to sit up a little straighter Forest bit his lip “Is Ward your brother?” He asked wondering if things like that were still the same between them.

“Yup.” Woods nodded “And I’d ask you how you knew that but you’re essentially me so I figure you’ve got one back in Asshat Creed”

“Ashkent Creek” Forest corrected with a small grimace, to which Woods just gave a slight eye roll as he drank from his glass again.

The sat in silence for a few seconds, the sounds of the bar around them filtering through the atmosphere. “Mine’s name is Hunter.” Forest continued even though he had no Idea why he was continuing. I mean did he really want to know more about this person? Maybe. Possibly. Ok who was he kidding. He wanted to know everything.

“Woods, Ward. Forest, Hunter.” Woods started wistfully a certain sheen of otherness glazing over his eyes “That naming thing just gets better doesn’t it. God. What an Asshole.” He snorted out leaning his head back against the bar to match forest.

Wrinkling his eyebrows Forest looked over towards his double a slight anger washing over him “She’s not an asshole” He retorted not really knowing why she was defending his mother, or rather their mother, but just knowing he had to.

“You mean yours didn’t brainwash you to become a warden against your will so that you don’t question her when she kills people like you?” He was staring straight at Forest now, with those same blue green eyes, the ones that obviously saw the same mental anguish he had.

But all Forest could do was suck in a breath, his lungs feeling as if the wind had been knocked out of them. Because no one had ever put his situation into words like that. No one had ever dared give voice to that specific and succinct pain he buried away time and time again. So sitting there in Silence forest just looked away, unable to voice any type of defense to that. Woods though seem to catch on what he had done, his eyes lowering against Forest, hands fiddling with a large leather bracelet adorning his wrist.

“Sorry. Mines just worse probably.” He said gently, that smooth confidence he once possessed faltering slightly under the weight of their conjoined pain.

“Probably” Forest whispered not wanting to admit that Woods might be right in this regard. That the lies he had been telling himself to make it all ok were just that, lies.

Trying to figure out how to change the subject Forest felt the burning sensation reach its peak again, his teeth biting at his lip to keep from crying out. “Why does it-” Forest murmured before giving in and just laying his head back on the wood of the bar, the wave of pain taking his ability to rationalize his thoughts.

Woods glanced over at him with a frown “You must not have the treaty on that side.”

“Treaty?” Forest raised a questioning eyebrow to his double.

“You probably wouldn’t understand so It’s not important” Woods replied still fiddling with the leather bracelet on his wrist, eyes distant. There was something unsaid here, something Forest really wanted him to say, but they fell back into their silence.

“How long do you think-?” Forest questioned before realizing that was probably a loaded question. A loaded question that apparently Woods actually had the answer too.

“Well from what I’ve heard, some stay for 30 seconds some others a full 5 minutes. It just depends” Woods shrugged again looking out at the people.

Glancing over at him Forest just stared “So I have to endure this for a full 5 minutes” He asked incredulously, face and body pretty much done with this already.

Smiling Woods bumped Forest’s shoulder lightly with his own. “Well If you’re anything like me you’ll survive just fine”

Giving him a look, Forest just focused on his breathing, the pain ebbing slightly. Glancing around the bar though everything just felt too normal right now. Like no one even batted an eyelash at him being here, let alone the fact he looked exactly like a local here. “Question so Is it just me, or am I the only one kinda freaking out about this right now”

Chuckling - the familiar timber of his laughter making this all too real for Forest -Woods took a swig of his beer. “What you guys don’t have the concept of Toxic Masculinity on your side?”

Now it was Forests turn to roll his eyes.

“But nah this is a Slayer Hunter Warden bar, so they’ve seen, things.” Woods gave a look as he emphasized the things part of his sentence “Not to mention this isn’t the first time one of you guys has popped out over here.”

“Really?” Forest raised an eyebrow.

“Really” Woods breathed out into his beer again.

Leaning his head against the back of the bar some more Forest let the silence wash over them, gaze fixed upon this strange but familiar person time and time again. And it just, it was so weird how He felt in every fiber of his being that this person knew him, but didn’t know him at the same time. “How are you-?” Forest started before he stopped realizing that that was a question no one had the answer to.

But Woods apparently didn’t get what he was putting down again, blue green eyes narrowed back at him “How am I what?”

“Like you’re me but you’re-” Forest’s eyes did a quick scan up and down Wood’s body the differences practically overwhelming.

Looking down Woods regarded his shoe probably wondering why the hell his double was such a pathetic person. Or at least if Forest were him that’s probably what he would be thinking. “I don’t know. Something in our lives must be different I suppose” He answered softly eyes glazed over again.

Registering that this subject was probably done, Forest started on a different subject, trying to keep his double talking instead of retreating back into his shell. “Do you think this is going to happen again?”

“Can’t really say”

Nodding Forest just went with it, grimacing slightly as a new bout of pain raced down his arm. God this was horrible. How did people do this over here? Like was this a normal thing? But luckily Forest didn’t get answers just relief.

“Here. Give me your arm” Woods started pulling at Forest’s own arm away from his body with nimble fingers. And Forest tried to protest he really did, but that was before Woods had pressed his cold sweaty beer to Forest’s wrist relief almost instantaneous.

Taking a breath Forest just looked at what was essentially himself holding a beer his own arm, not really knowing what to do or say “Wow. Um thank you”

“No need.” Woods replied curtly “I mean I-I know how it feels so” He shrugged a little the perfect sort of mask Woods obviously put in place cracking slightly under the pressure. And It all made sense now. It all made sense with the bracelet thing, and the confidence thing, the whole pretending you are fine when you are clearly not thing. I know how that feels too, Forest thought to himself, before he looked away.

“So when do you think this is going to be over?” Forest asked, though tt was less of a question and more of a topic to get them off this awkward wavelength.

But the awkward just kept coming as Woods answered with a small “No clue”

Pausing Forest tapped the finger of his free hand against his thigh suddenly feeling really shy “Well I guess um before it takes me back I just wanted to say It was nice meeting you Woods” He said looking over at his double. And in an instant his shyness dissipated as Woods took a hand and ruffled his hair, as if they were old friends just chilling on the floor, and not two weird interdimensional twins beings meeting for the first time.

“Awww It was nice meeting you too Forest.” He responded before putting his hand down “And don’t let the pain fool you you’re welcome here on the Ashford River side any time”

Forest grimaced “Yea lets not”

“Oh come on we’ve got lots of things besides treaties that burn people’s flesh to offer here. I mean there’s probably better beer here and I don’t know something else like that” He shrugged for the thousandth time taking a quick swig from his glass before placing it back against Forest’s arm as smile on his lips.

Forest couldn’t help but chuckle at that, his laughter intertwining with Woods.

And just like that he was gone, the bar melting back into the stark white of his bedroom. Sitting there slumped over next to his closet forest could feel his breath start to hitch in his chest. The pain was still there fresh in his mind, but he knew the water in his eyes wasn’t really from that.

Sighing a little at just the rush of emotions Forest wiped at his face before he pulled out his phone from his back pocket wondering if he should go to the hospital or something. He probably should.

But then again, one crisis at a time now.

#touchofsolo #touchoffinale #tw: abuse mention #atwood walker #//is this the beginning of character development?#who knows.#lol #but here have my three thousand word love story to atwood fucking walker #the true hero #even though my poor child has a brand now #what have you been through atwood #tell me all your secrets

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