#allowed and okayed the woman he loved and the kid he considered his own to get kidnapped

[aj-lenoire]

i do not enjoy harry potter anymore and even when i did, snape was not a character i ever liked, but for some reason my ‘for you’ page is just full of dedicated snape stan accounts and i hate it

[steddieas-shegoes]

because it's yours

for @steddielovemonth using the quote prompt: "If there is love, smallpox scars are as pretty as dimples. I'd love your face no matter what it looks like. Because it's yours." - Stephen King

rated t | 1250 words | no cw | tags: post-vecna, eddie munson lives, pre-relationship, injury recovery, first kiss, getting together

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Eddie’s not allowed visitors in the hospital, at least according to Wayne and Hopper. It’s for his own safety, they say.

Steve knows that’s partially bullshit. He’s good at sensing bullshit. But he plays along anyway, convinces the kids to just visit Max and they’ll plan a welcome home party for Eddie when he’s released. It gets harder by the day, especially when all the news they hear is that Eddie is healing well and should be good to go home even sooner than they thought.

No one tells them when he’s released.

Steve only finds out because he walks by the room Eddie’s been in, and instead of the door being closed, it’s wide open. There’s unfamiliar voices coming from the room. It could be doctors or nurses, but something makes him pause and peek in the doorway.

It’s an older woman and what appears to be her adult children, all of them having a very serious conversation about how she needs to be more careful while gardening.

Steve leaves before he’s caught eavesdropping.

He considers stopping by Dustin’s, see if he’s heard the news. Maybe the kids found out first.

Who is Steve to Eddie really?

Just because they gave each other looks and flirted a little and Steve carried him out of the Upside Down and-

He swallows the hurt and decides to go straight to Wayne’s new trailer. It’s just outside of town, easy to get to even with the damage done by the cracks. He’s been there a few times to check on him, even helped him set up his cable.

When Wayne opens the door, Steve knows something is off.

He doesn’t invite him in. Instead, he steps onto the porch and closes the door behind him. He gives Steve an awkward smile instead of his usual warm, comforting one.

“Is he home?” Steve asks.

“He’s sleeping,” Wayne allows. “He’s still recovering.”

“Do the kids know he’s home?”

“Son, he-“

“Why is he hiding? Everyone’s worried and just wants to make sure he’s okay. No one would keep him from resting!” Steve hates that his voice pitches higher. His hands are shaking. He’s never spoken to an adult he respects like this. “We just wanna know he’s safe.”

“He is.” Wayne sighs. “I told that boy no one was gonna stay away for long. He insisted everyone would forget him. I said no. He didn’t listen.”

Steve’s eyes dart over to the window he knows goes to Eddie’s bedroom. He’d been the one to help set it up when Wayne moved in.

“Can I please see him? I’ll be quick. I won’t even tell the kids yet. I just need to see,” Steve begs. “Please, Wayne.”

Wayne wordlessly opens the door and gestures for Steve to come inside.

He leads him to Eddie’s room, reminding him with a look to be quiet and not wake him up. Steve gives an understanding nod and walks into the room.

There’s sunlight sneaking through the blackout curtains, just enough to light up the bed that Eddie’s already wide awake in. Steve can’t help the smile blooming on his face.

Eddie looks scared, though.

His eyes are wide, and he’s pulled himself to the farthest corner of the queen sized bed. His hair’s a mess, proof that he probably was asleep just before Steve got here.

“Hey, Eddie,” Steve waves. He doesn’t come any closer to the bed. “I just wanted to get eyes on you. Feeling alright?”

Wayne’s standing in the doorway behind Steve, probably trying to determine if he needs to step in or ride this out. If Eddie asks, Steve will leave. He doesn’t want him to be uncomfortable.

“What’re you doing here?” Eddie asks.

Steve watches the way his jaw moves around the words, how his mouth twists differently, like it’s taking more effort to talk. The scar going across his cheek, up into his temple, and down to his neck seems to be the cause of it. It’s still an angry red, stitches visible in some places where the bites must’ve been deeper.

He walks forward slowly. Eddie doesn’t stop him. Neither does Wayne.

The scar is big. It’ll always be big, though Steve has plenty of experience with scars and knows it’ll fade into a paler pink than it currently is. It’ll be a reminder, every day, of how he almost died. Eddie will have this memory every time he looks in the mirror, every time his own fingers brush against the ridged skin.

Steve cups the side of Eddie’s face that’s scarless.

Eddie gulps.

“Is this why you didn’t want anyone to visit?” He whispers.

Eddie doesn’t answer, but his eyes closing and head tilting down is answer enough.

“Eddie, look at me.”

Eddie opens his eyes.

“Do you really think a scar could scare any of us away? After how we found you, a scar is the least of our worries. You don’t have to hide from us.”

Steve’s not sure if Wayne’s still standing in the doorway, too focused on the way Eddie’s holding his gaze now. He’s lost weight and he’s still pale, but he’s alive. He’s still beautiful.

Maybe even more now.

“You’re alive. Everyone just wants you alive.”

“I’m gonna look even weirder now,” Eddie rasps out. Steve wonders if there’s damage to his throat, something his voice may never recover from entirely.

“I dunno. I think it’s pretty badass. Since when do you care about looking weird, anyway?” Steve smirks. “The Eddie Munson I know would find a new ridiculous story to tell every time he’s asked about something this cool.”

“I was leaning towards making people believe I got in a fight with a dragon,” Eddie shrugs one shoulder. His cheeks are red, warm underneath Steve’s touch.

“And won.”

Eddie leans his head forward, resting his forehead against Steve’s. “Of course I won. A knight in shining armor saved me.”

“You saved everyone else first. Don’t forget that part of the story,” Steve reminds him.

“A hero’s brave sacrifice…” Eddie mumbles. Steve chuckles. “Maybe true love’s kiss?”

“Isn’t that supposed to break a curse?” Steve whispers, suddenly nervous about all the times they flirted before. Flirting is harmless until it’s not.

“You’re right. In this case, it’s the curse of never kissing a nice guy.”

“And you think I can break that curse?”

“Can’t hurt to try.”

It’s a little awkward at first, mostly because parts of Eddie’s jaw are still numb from nerve damage and moving in certain ways is difficult. But once Steve adjusts, and they both giggle against each others’ lips, it’s easy. They fit.

Eddie tries to deepen the kiss, but he is still healing, and he has to pull away when his stitches tug painfully.

“Your battle scars won’t matter to any of us. They damn sure don’t make you less beautiful to me. Everyone misses you,” Steve rubs his arm, the one with no visible bandages. “Can I at least bring Dustin over later? Let him see that you’re actually alive and the hospital and government haven’t been lying?”

“Is that what everyone thinks?”

“You have to remember we’ve been through this a lot. Hopper was dead until he wasn’t. Anything can be faked.”

“That’s reassuring,” Eddie groans. “Yeah. Bring everyone by tomorrow. I’ll even shower.”

Steve kisses the top of his head. “Do you need help?”

“With showering? I just might, big boy.”

The way Eddie smiles is different now, but Steve loves it all the same.

[daddy-kinard]

okay y’know what, I have thoughts about tommy’s feelings towards wanting kids and how they’ve changed over the years. because when he was a kid he just assumed he’d have kids in that nebulous way of this is how life goes, you grow up, get married, have kids etc. and then he grew up and acknowledged that he wasn’t subject to good parenting and maybe he doesn’t wanna be that for some poor future kid. and then he’s realising his sexuality in an age and environment where he just assumed that meant that he’d never get to have them anyway, not unless he added actually marrying a woman to his pretend to be straight act, and he never really would have allowed himself to take it that far, to let it bleed into someone else’s life permanently. and then he gets out of those oppressive environments and he’s more honest with the world about who he is than he’s ever been, and he knows enough now to know there are so many other ways to create a family, but he’s in his 40s and he’s not found the love he deeply wants, and maybe it’s just too late and he’s reconciled with that. and then along comes evan buckley, for the first time someone who he absolutely can picture himself raising a family with but he doesn’t know how he feels about being an old dad, self-conscious about his age in a way he never is when he thinks about being in his 50s with an infant. and buck, who understands him like maybe nobody has before, says it’s all good, he has tommy and anything else is a bonus, they don’t have to do anything, but hey look, hen and karen are adopting mara, and how would tommy feel about bringing an older kid into their new little family? and tommy considers it, he really does, because on paper it is the best solution to combat his insecurities but then they’re over for dinner with chim and maddie and he sees a photo of evan holding a tiny baby jee and he has this moment of clarity that he absolutely isn’t willing to miss out on seeing evan like that with their own baby. and they’re googling surrogacy options before they’ve even sat down once they get home.

[bones4thecats]

If it's okay can I please ask for Loki Beelzebub and Poseidon but how are they react to meeting Kianna's older brother Subaru

In her backstory she actually left Subaru alive since he helped her and they see each other as siblings

Meeting Subaru and Yui (Sibs of S/O)

Type of Writing: Request Characters: Loki, Beelzebub, and Poseidon Name: Meeting Subaru and Yui (Sibs of S/O) Requester: @nunezs-stuff

A/N: Much like with my past work, if you want to find some more information on this ‘Kianna’, you can go to the requester’s account and read all about her OC. Here, Yui is technically alive, since this is set after the events of the story, so they’re all dead and in Valhalla.

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🐍 Loki has a smaller family when it comes to the Godly-standards, he has Odin as his uncle and Thor as his cousin. While in Pantheons such as the Greek, there were four brothers with one being married and having three kids, Zeus’ blood and non, and there was Kronos and Rhea

🐍 So, when he officially met you, he wasn’t very surprised to hear about you having a sister and brother. In fact, Loki basically begged for you to introduce them to his own family

🐍 It took many different tries on his part to actually get you to consider bringing in your siblings in for a visit, but when you told him you gave in and were bringing the two in for a reunion of the Norse Pantheon

🐍 Looking back at the two behind you, you noticed that Yui smiled as she adjusted the collar around her kimono as Subaru adjusted the bow holding his outfit together, and once they gave you their respective nods, you began to walk ahead and opened the doors to the Norse Pantheon’s estate

🐍 Loki was getting bored floating around and pranking his fellow Deities, it just wasn’t the same without his amazing S/O alongside him

" Loki? Are you around? "

🐍 Opening his eyes and turning upside down from the tree branch, Loki looked around for the beautiful eyes of his S/O, only to be immediately met with the sight of mismatching red and pink eyes

" Woah! Watch where ya’ hang there. " " Y/N? " " Hello there, Loki. "

🐍 Okay, this guy was so confused right now…

🐍 Once he caught sight of you, your boyfriend wrapped himself around you from behind, slightly glaring at the man and woman, blissfully unaware of who they were to you

" Loki, meet Subaru and Yui, my ‘adoptive’ brother and my sister. " " Oh… my bad. " " Meh, I’ve had worse reactions than that. Note; don’t go to a church as a vampire, doesn’t end well. " " Yeah. Besides, we understand, you’ve never met us until now, so it’s understandable why you’re weary of us. "

🐍 Loki’s eyes slightly widened at how loose they seemed, while you normally were more tightly bound with superiority issues

🐍 As Yui held out her hand, the calls of Odin’s bird, Huginn and Muninn echoed in your ears, alerting both you and Loki that Odin and Thor were ready to meet your siblings, just to make sure they were alright to visit again

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🪰 He was surprised that this curse has allowed him to even be around you and care for you, nonetheless even come into a full-on relationship filled with love around you without you being harmed

🪰 When you had admitted that you had a couple people you wanted him to meet, Beelzebub was put off, since for many years, he grew up with this curse and because of it, never really had anyone before you and Hades

🪰 Holding your hand tightly, Beelzebub looked down at you and sighed, knowing that you would provide your dearest God with any kind of comfort or space if he needed it

" Are you ready, Beel? " " I suppose… " " Open the doors for my siblings! "

🪰 As the guards of the estate opened the doors in fear of your rage, you noticed the feeling of Beelzebub’s grip on your hand tighten as the doors creaked open further and further until the sight of a tall man and shorter woman were shown

🪰 Smiling gently at the duo, you lightly pulled your boyfriend with you to great your guests, or rather, your family

🪰 Yui looked at your boyfriend and back at you with confusion before Subaru cocked an eyebrow and practically glared at Beelzebub, not fearing that he was a God set to participate in the upcoming event of Ragnarok in a few days

" Ah! My apologies, you must be Y/N’s boyfriend. I’m Yui, Y/N’s older sister. And this is- " " Subaru, their ‘adoptive’ older brother. "

🪰 You sighed as Subaru kept his stern look on your boyfriend, his form not shaking or anything as the Lord of the Flies just stared back without any emotion inside his black eyes

🪰 Gripping his hand tighter and making him slightly flinch at your surprisingly strong grip, Beelzebub lowered his guard slightly, just enough to notify Subaru that he were not going to harm you or Yui

" Would you guys like a tour around the estate? " " That would be amazing, little sibling! "

🪰 Despite the fact that Subaru was still burning holes into the head of the man you were holding hands with, you understood that Subaru was only trying to protect you from harm, and you knew it was fruitless. Beelzebub loved you, even the Gods you have met said so, and they hate mentioning stuff like that

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🔱 Poseidon didn’t even like having to see his own family, nonetheless seeing someone else’s, it just made him feel slightly awkward. But, he could also say he was annoyed, he isn’t fond of social events, preferring to spend most time to himself

🔱 He sat down at the small table on your bedroom’s balcony and heard as the front doors opened with a loud drag from their sheer mass and size

🔱 Just at that moment, you knocked on the door and walked inside your room, alerting your soon-to-be husband that you were going to tell him who had come by for a visit, and whether it was for him or you

" Poseidon, my love, it seems we both have guests. " " And who, perhaps, are these guests? " " They are my two siblings, Yui and Subaru. "

🔱 Poseidon knew that you had siblings, as during one of your first dates years ago, you and him spoke about your family relationships, so parents, siblings, everything like that

🔱 Looking from the dark and colorful ocean to you, the God of the Seas sighed mentally, speaking to some random people was something that he did not want to participate in that day. He specifically scheduled no meetings for said reason

🔱 But, no matter, as long as they don’t try testing his patience, he can hold himself back for you

🔱 Holding out his arm, you wrapped your arms through his and began to walk down to the main room to meet up with the two siblings you hadn’t spoken to for the few months you have lived with your lover

" My dear siblings, to what do we owe the pleasure of your presence? " " Y/N! You haven’t spoken to us in months! What do you have to say for yourself? " " First of all, thank you for the gracious hello back. Second, I would like to introduce you to my fiancé, the Greek God of the Seas and the third-born son of Cronus and Rhea, Poseidon. "

🔱 Yui’s eyes widened and the man beside you could sense her aura slightly depleted in fear, but, he could also tell that the man beside her aura had enlarged with protectiveness

" P-P-Poseidon?! Oh my! I’m so sorry for the rude introduction! I am Yui, your lovely to-be older sister, and this is Subaru, our older ‘adoptive’ brother. " " Pleasure. "

🔱 You looked into your to-be’s ocean-blue eyes and slightly pinched his arm, making him look into your eyes with shock hidden underneath a layer of emptiness glossing his form

🔱 Subaru groaned and had to hold Yui back from running over and hugging Poseidon and you, since he knew that the God of the Seas was one with very little love for physical touch

[littlesmartart]

i absolutely adore that meng shi comic with xiyao!! do you have any thoughts about meng shi interactions with the other jin siblings?? love your work!!

okay, so the Meng Shi Survives AU started as a conversation with @guqin-and-flute about an AU of the A-Fu AU where Meng Shi survives to meet A-Fu 🥹 (see more posts about it here) in this AU, she does not meet any of the Jins until after JGS is gone (ie. in the happy era), so MXY is a young teenager, Qin Su knows who her bio dad is, and Zixuan has a heap of kids

Zixuan - his relationship with Meng Shi rather understandably starts out a bit awkward (Meng Shi sees the life her son should have had, JZX sees the woman his father was already cheating on his mother with BEFORE HE WAS EVEN BORN), but by this stage of his life and post his father's death, Zixuan has gotten a lot better at handling situations that make him uncomfortable, so it's not actually too terrible. Meng Shi is very touched that Jin-zongzhu interacts with her respectfullly and allows her to spend time with his kids, so she is very deferential and kind with him, and that helps him warm up and be less awkward to her. they're never going to be super close but Zixuan has a complex relationship with his own mother, and has a decent relationship with JGY at this point, so he really really wants to keep things positive between himself and Meng Shi. plus Yanli really loves spending time with another Yunmeng woman. the first time he calls her auntie Meng Shi has to fight very hard not to cry.

Qin Su - by this point Qin Su is living in Koi Tower full time as part of Yanli's retinue and a member of the inner family. she doesn't form a particularly close relationship with Meng Shi, but they are friendly and enjoy each other's company, and Qin Su is happy to treat her as an honoured auntie. she considers introducing her to her mother, wondering if they'd find some sort of solidarity together, but ultimately decides against it.

Xuanyu - MXY is ready to collect any and all relatives that want him hell freakin yeah!!! an auntie who's fun and nice and knows all sorts of cool stuff about about poetry and the arts and doesn't treat him weird for his makeup, and is Yao-ge's mum? awesome! MXY has a tendency to form attachments to people who are kind to him VERY quickly and Meng Shi is no exception. he actually does introduce his mother to her, and although there is some awkwardness initially, Meng Shi winds up taking Second Madam Mo somewhat under her wing and they do get on well.

[falindankovsky]

Zośka Dankovskaya information please? 🤲

Yay!! You’ve got it boss!!

Alright obviously gotta explain her connection to our beloved bachelor and that’s his little sister!! They are nine years apart in age!! Daniil has eldest daughter syndrome unfortunately which absolutely makes his issues with ocd revolving around control worse She has very little memory of their mother since she died when Zośka was rather young (hc she passed when Daniil was thirteen) but Daniil ended up taking care of her most of the time as their father was frequently out of the house.

She’d mainly be a post canon character she goes to the town after her brothers correspondence randomly stops/she learns of thanatica’s destruction, she wants to make sure he’s fine or pick up his ashes whichever comes first and as they’re fairly close she really hopes he’s okay we aren’t gonna think about her coming to the town during the events of marbles nest okay She might get into a polycule with Eva and Yulia after getting into town it depends on what healers route is considered canon lol. She’s also an engineer we love a woman in stem!! Other than Yulia and Eva I think she’d be scared of everyone else in town especially grief actually maybe she’d get along with Rubin?? Maybe?? I dunno. She’d also find the twins scary but I do not think Daniil would ever allow either near her considering how Andrey acts to another family member of his. Also suppose if I consider that homunculus idea that’s another character for her to play off of!! Let her be an auntie!! She’d fucking spoil any niece she has rotten lol

Okay here’s just some random fun facts about her now!! Since she’s fairly new character lol. She’s like 6’4 she is taller than everyone in her family and she’s very cocky about it, she has heterochromia one of her eyes is a muted green and the other a dark brown. She also has a unibrow it’s very important i mention her unibrow!!. Zośka made Daniil get spiders out of her room when they were kids because she developed rather nasty arachnophobia and their father would just hand wave her away, their dad would also force Daniil to bring her with when he went out so imagining very married university Daniil having to bring along his eleven year old sister to go out with his spouse. She inherited the Dankosvky trait of talking with hands. She’s very much theatrical doing lots of gestures leaning in when she thinks she’s got a nailed with a great point of logic/when she believes she’s beaten you in the mental game of chess you weren’t aware was happening. She has a Monroe piercing and an eyebrow piercing 

She has a decent relationship with Falin there was probably a bit of idolization in the early years where she wanted to hang around him because this is my older siblings partner and I really want him to think I’m cool and I want him to like me. She absolutely did her own piercings because her dad forbid it and then went crying to Daniil once they got infected. She is the reason he refuses to ever have children but unfortunately he has a big soft spot for her so he does end up bailing her out of alotta her antics. She probably accidentally started a fire at thanatica once while visiting lord Daniil can’t catch a break in that regard between having someone drinking formaldehyde and someone else with fires he needs to start banning people.

[alicepao13]

Here we go again, Hudson and Rex S01E01!

God, I love 1080p.

Oh, Diesel. He's so young in this episode.

Okay, what is going on back there, the show has only just started lol

I forgot this show's only colors for S1 were blue and... blue. And some yellow.

Charlie in his suits. I could say I've missed it, but it gets old fast. You get more options with casual clothes.

Charlie verbally sparring with Mankiewicz is so good. I don't know why they didn't find more opportunities to get him back on the show, he's a good villain.

The part where Mankiewicz says Evelyn's name, I always thought that was intentional, judging by the way he looks up, like if he's waiting to see whether Charlie will pick up on it, which he does. He's probably judging his foe's intelligence.

Is it just me, or was John Reardon's voice even deeper in S1 (I remember I'd thought that before, it's not just this episode)? Or if not deeper, different somehow.

Rex displaying his intelligence as he "infiltrates" the bad guys' hideout. Also, I'm kinda curious about his screentime in this episode. If I'm right, it's significantly lower than other episodes.

I now remember than Kevin Hanchard had said he filmed all his scenes of S1 at the same time or something like that. I will be looking for hairstyle discrepancies lol

Ah, the old house. And Charlie looking at Rex's empty dog bed. And the first hints of whump as he's shot with a tranquilizer dart. I appreciated that.

Doesn't everyone get their forensics expert with them when looking for a missing kid?

Calm down, guys, it's the first episode.

Not much skill in the henchmen who had kidnapped Evelyn.

Hilariously, Sarah doesn't enter her lab once in the first episode.

I also do notice a not so subtle effort from direction/editing of making sure that Sarah gets in and out of the boat without Charlie's help, I guess they're making sure that Charlie is not doing any of chivalric things a man could do for his female coworker? He does later say that the perp should point the gun at him but it's after he's questioned from the woman herself and after Rex's timely takedown, Sarah is the one point the gun at the woman, while Charlie does the arrest.

Charlie hugging Rex after being separated from him for a whole day.

And Charlie shooting the guy, which apparently no one remembers lol

Jesse getting shot! More whump! I don't think anyone believed for a moment that he would die, though. Also, can someone shoot Charlie? I've been asking for years.

"He's not a dog, he's my partner". Ah, the corniness. I'll allow it.

The ending scene. I can clearly tell that John Reardon has some snack for Diesel in his hand after we've been shown the trick.

I honestly never thought that episode was a good pilot, not because of the quality of the episode itself, I consider it above average for S1. But you give the audience the wrong idea about how this show is going to be. Personally, upon my first watch, I was given the impression that Rex would be alone doing his own thing quite often. Also, it doesn't give the audience almost anything in terms of Charlie and Rex's partnership. And they promoted this show with lines like "good detectives, great partners", etc., focused on the partnership, which is the whole point of the show from its origins anyway.

[aleksanderscult]

Bagrah could be a great, fascinating character if Leigh Bardugo didn't try so hard to victimize her and portray her as some sort of hero... Seriously wtf ? The narration in relation to Bagrah always made me cringe. In another version of events, I would have liked a less ignorant Alina to tell her the truth about being a bad teacher, a bad mother (now I want a fanfiction where Alina defends Aleksander of Bagrah) and just a bad person.

⚠️TW: Suicide mention at some point⚠️

Bestie, you just decided to touch one of the most problematic things in that universe. The matter of "We consider toxic, problematic women innocent and heroic".

Just like Baghra, just like Ana Kuya. A world where if you're a woman and you're toxic, then you're okay!

My own feelings of Baghra is that I just can't help but find her interesting. I can't help but wanna re-read her scenes sometimes. I don't like her but she's intriguing. There are times when I remember how fucked up her life was. Her father neglected her and her mother despised her. And then they abandoned her. Which makes me feel sorry for her. But then I remember how she had numerous kids from loveless matches and abandoned them all except one. Because this boy was special like her: immortal and powerful. She willingly condemned another human being to the pain and loneliness of immortality (and it's very possible that she condemned her other children to immortality as well, just like Ulla). She raised Aleksander with no displays of love, didn't allow him to form bonds with others and used emotional, verbal (and, very possibly, physical) abuse on him. Taught him how to be prideful, to abandon love, to value power. But when Aleksander became prideful and valued power, she turned her back on him. When he found a potential match on Alina, she took her away from him. Because Baghra always wanted him to depend on her for company and love. All these make me feel disgust for her.

But still Baghra was a product of the fucked up life Grisha had that made her value self-preservation, just like Aleksander was. The only difference is that Aleksander cared about the fate of their people.

And when Aleksander entrusted her with the training of his Grisha, she used violent means to teach them how to develop and control their powers. Even used their own phobias against them ffs.

And despite all this, we have the good guys not only remembering her fondly but also defend her:

This whole paragraph makes me sick.

Look, I naturally didn't expect the good gang remember the Darkling with love. No way that. But why on God's green earth do they make him seem like a lunatic with no feelings that was at fault for literally EVERYTHING?

“Did he love the girl he forced to commit those murders?”

Ah, yes, of course. Because if a person is a murderer then he's also incapable of feeling love. When you're a villain, you can't love. You can't have both. It's impossible, Aleksander! 😠🫵

“What about the girl he tossed into the old king's bed for his own purposes?”

Oh right. Because Aleksander gave Genya to the King not to the Queen's care. Jesus, I forgot that.

Oh yes! I also forgot how Genya decided to stay because she wanted to take revenge.

“then mutilated when she dared to challenge him”

Me if I was the editor of the book, saw that line and correcting it: "then punished when she dared to commit treason against him?"

Because isn't that what she did? She was his soldier and let the Sun Summoner escape. What do you think he would do to her? Give her a sympathetic pat on the shoulder and say: "I understand. She's your friend. Fuck Ravka."

“Or the woman he blinded for failing to offer him unswerving devotion?”

Didn't Baghra commit treason as well? Didn't she let the Sun Summoner go? Does Zoya realize that if the King had found out, he would behead Baghra on the spot?

Also why is she talking about him like he didn't regret what he did to his mother?

And am I the only one in this goddamn fandom that thinks that Baghra got away with it lightly?

So Zoya in a few words:

‘Who would speak for Liliyana, for Genya and Alina and Baghra if she did not?’

In other words Zoya: "I'm the LAWYER IN HERE!!"

Instead of wanting to feel love for the good characters and side with them, I want to slap them across the face. The amount of stupidity and arrogance they have is truly admirable. Congratulations for being douchebags, my friends!!👌👌

This duology has me like:

Instead of admitting that Baghra was problematic and made many serious mistakes (which I would much prefer to see from them) they're glorifying her. They're painting her as a frail, weak and innocent woman that did nothing wrong in her life. And being abusive is not against her! Of course not. Because she's a woman so we have to let her go of any charges and forgive her. ❤️

She was neither frail nor weak. She could easily use her powers if she could but Baghra loooved to play the victim. And she was definitely not innocent. She was one of the reasons Aleksander came out this way and contributed to his eventual downfall in R&R. Since her suicide made him lose his mind and become even more unhinged.

And, finally, yes I would have liked someone to tell her how shit of a mother she was to her son and how she sucks in general. But I don't think it would mind her much. She would be apathetic and sarcastic.

[melancholicmaze]

Wow. Arc 9, Chapter 4… Okay I have a lot to say about this chapter. Again these are my unorganized thoughts immediately after finishing the chapter, apologies if I start rambling. I won’t touch on everything, but I’ll try to share my thoughts on as much of the chapter as possible.

Obviously, spoilers are ahead.

The chapter begins with a conversation between Emilia and Madelyn. Right off the bat, I really enjoy the parallel between them. Both have just suffered loss, albeit in a different capacity. It feels fitting that Madelyn is the one Emilia ends up being vulnerable with. She cries, mourns Priscilla, and laments a friendship that could never come to pass. A friendship with the woman she just recently believed she could get along with. I love that Tappei is taking the time to examine how each character is affected by this loss. It’s in striking contrast to Otto’s reaction for example. It really makes me more excited for the inevitable friction within the Emilia camp.

Seeing Schult respond to Priscila’s death so bravely, even insisting that Emilia doesn’t need to apologize, while still clearly being hurt… it’s just so good. Schult feels so pressured to act mature, and to be someone he isn’t.

It’s also interesting to me that Al, in his grief, has locked himself in his room. It’s especially interesting when you consider that he was really the only member of the camp to recognize Schult as a kid, often insisting that he doesn’t need to push himself. Very curious to see more of Schult going forward.

And oh my god the Heinkel stuff. I LOVE seeing his desperation in the wake of Priscilla’s death. I truly think he’s distraught by Priscilla’s death, but won’t allow himself to show it. Instead, he appeals to Emilia’s political goals, begging her to take him because he’d be of some use. He still sees Reinhard as a political threat, and offers himself as a bargaining chip. It’s so in character for Heinkel. Emilia is obviously put off by his immediate proposal, and even more so by his apparent lack of grief for Priscilla.

It reminds me of Subaru’s desperation in arc 3, and his own appeals to Crusch. He wants to stop the Witch Cult, and is so caught up in his own rage and sense of powerlessness that he doesn’t mention Emilia once. And I absolutely see something similar here with Heinkel.

But I think Schult is absolutely right, Heinkel is grieving too, but he’s not great at expressing his emotions. He doesn’t have the same strength that Emilia does, as demonstrated by the first part of the chapter. I’m really curious to see where the Heinkel and the rest of the Priscilla camp go from here. I do want to see him join the Emilia camp with Schult, or at the very least adopt him. I’m less certain on where Al’s story will take him. Right now, I can see him going off on his own. But to do what, I can’t predict.

Overall, I really enjoyed this chapter. There’s so much potential for this arc. Apologies if none of this was coherent, I really do end up rambling sometimes.

[dahvampire]

I'll start this thing with the premise that I've only seen BNHA's anime, so I'm at the end of the events of season 6 and I don't know anything else from the manga. So, that's also a spoiler alert for anyone who isn't at my same point.

God I really, really despise Enji Todoroki.

Endeavor is a great hero, don't get me wrong: always on point, efficient with criminals, saves people and yada yada yada. Public interactions aren't his forte but anyone has his weaknesses, so it's fine.

But boy, boy if he's shitty. A shitty father, a shitty husband, a shitty person in general.

How can you beat your six year old son to the point of making him sick just because you're salty you're not at the same level of someone else? How can you try to erase your first son's suicide attempt that he did because you first indoctrinated him about being the n°1 hero since he was four and then discarded him at eleven because he couldn't keep up with your expectations? Enji told Touya his life was defined only by being a hero, and then he snutched the dream he put in his son's head from him when he was still a child. No wonders Touya didn't exactly take it well, his father just said he's actually worthless because of something Touya can't even control - the affinity that his body has for cold temperature.

And okay, maybe Enji wanted to keep him safe avoiding him to train, but the adult approached the situation wrongly from the start, since Touya's birth, for fuck's sake.

When Touya became useless, Enji focused his fixation on Shouto, feeding sibling rivalry to Touya and making him easily jealous of him because his younger brother became their father's focus of attention - and love, in his mind - .

Let's put the kids beside for a second.

Enji married Rei for her quirk, that's common knowledge, he even admitted it. After he finished using her for his convenience and after probably treating her just like he treated Shouto and Touya, he pushed her 'til the breaking point and then accused her of being unstable while the only reason for her unstableness has always been his presence in her life. We had a snippet of Rei before she married Enji, and she was a perfectly fine woman. Maybe reserved, but fine.

Then, Enji happened. She lost her rights on her body, the man married her just to breed a valuable heir after all. She lost her rights as a mother, because I think Enji hasn't ever allowed her to interfere with Touya and Shouto's education and lives in general, just think about how Touya treated her when she found out he was still training in secret. She lost her connections with the world, too, I guess, because I don't think she would be free to go and come at her will, considering how Enji thinks about his family members as his properties.

Then, she slowly started to lose her mind to the point of disfiguring her own child because his eye reminded her too much of the man she was forced to live with even though she clearly dreaded him, and she lost it. She crumbled under the pressure of what Enji did to her and to her children - that I guess she never actively tried to protect, maybe to save herself from the man's wrath, maybe because scared of aggravating things - and Enji took her out of the picture without even try to comprehend why she did what she did.

I'm not saying that she isn't guilty about the whole situation, I'm saying I can see her redemption arc. I can understand it. Now she's free of the shackles that held her down the whole time she was with Enji, and she wants to try and do something to make amends. I can see it, I can understand it.

What I cannot understand is the thing they're trying to do with Enji's redemption arc.

Like, are you kidding me?

He's an abuser, a manipulative man who hides himself behind a façade of ideals and stoicism, a person who looked his own kid in the eye at the age of eleven and told him he was not enough for his father and should get lost with his other two siblings, casted aside since birth because they too didn't meet his expectations.

Fuyumi is still hanging by the threads of hope that someday they will be an happy and functional family, but those threads started strangling her a long time ago, and I think she didn't even realized it yet.

And Touya.

God, Touya. He attempted suicide by the age of fourteen, being it consciously or not. Maybe he actually did it on purpose, maybe his emotions took the upper hand on him, but his mind couldn't accept the fact that his father's love was so conditional. Touya tried his best to satisfy the man, and Enji never acknowledged him beside to berate him for training without his permission. And Touya still tried, tried, tried to be seen by the man that put himself at the center of his child's universe since Touya was young enough to comprehend what heroes were.

No wonders Touya broke that night on Sekoto Peak, no wonder he died.

No wonder Dabi was born.

He's the incarnation of Touya's resentment after all, of the hate he feels towards Enji, towards the society that idolatries the hero without looking at the man, without understand that the monsters people fear aren't always the criminals and the villains on the streets, but hide themselves in plain sight, under a spotlight.

Touya was fourteen, he had all his life in front of him, and he still chose to trust the man he called father to care for him even without the incentive of his quirk, and his trust, his prayers fell on deaf ears.

I don't know yet what happened after Sekoto Peak, I guess what remained of Touya was find by someone - maybe Shigaraki's doctor himself -, put back together and brought back from the dead. And Touya didn't know what to do with the time that someone else borrowed him, so he set himself on the path of revenge to find some sort of justice for himself.

I'm not saying that Dabi's modus operandi is right. He's a murderer and his ways are almost always extreme, and his mind clearly isn't in the right place, but I can still understand him, his motives.

An hypothetical reception arc.

Before everything else he's a victim, after all, just like Rei.

Dabi wants to avenge what's remaining of Touya, of his inner child, and the only way he finds fitting is to take Enji's life to compensate the life Enji took from him.

Enji, on the other hand, doesn't deserve it.

He has seen that his ways were wrong only when everything came crushing down on him, and he cried on his hospital bed about being a terrible person after all the years he spent without questioning even one single time his actions.

How many times he made Touya cry? And Shouto? And Rei, Natsuo, Fuyumi? And his own fans, for God's sake? How many people he deluded without realising it, without even thinking it was an actual chance of him doing wrong?

Nope. Sorry, nope, I'm not fine with that. I don't think he deserves the pardon of all the victims of his actions, or surely he doesn't deserve to be forgiven so fast.

I don't approve the death of characters only because I don't like them, I know that's not how it works and it's simply stupid wanting someone dead just because, but fuck if i want him dead. Like, actually dead. Maybe it's because what he represents hit a little too close to home, maybe it's because I can't see a possible way to actually redeem him without stomping again on everyone he hurt, maybe I just can't stand him, I don't know.

I don't even know if I actually want Dabi to be still alive, at this point. I really like him, his character, his dramatics, but he's a dead man walking, literally. Maybe death would put an end to his suffering, maybe confronting Enji would be so cathartic to actually help him to recover the parts of his mind that he lost in the flames, in the walls of the house he grew up in, among the discouragements and the conditioned love he almost drown into.

The only thing I know is that I really hope Dabi lives long enough to see Enji's ashes scattering to the ground, being them the ashes of Endeavor's legacy or the ashes of his own body, cremated by Dabi himself.

[lucistarsfire]

ignore these ghost ramblings I feel like sharing

they are random and not at all connected to each other.. just the thoughts that bounced out of my brain

• The Band Ghost: A semi-fictional metal band formed by Tobias Forge. I'm sure you all know the lore! It begins with Nihil, somewhat. The father of our original beloved Papas. Primo, Secondo, Terzo- and most recently found, Copia. Consider the falling romance for Nihil's last love- Sister Imperator. The two were vilely in love with a terrifyingly complicated romance. Isn't it beautiful? An unloyal dickbag and his beautiful horrible woman. I personally dislike them both as people but enjoy their characters deeply! In fact, the animated music videos and the story of their love does bring tears to my eyes.

• Primo Emeritus stands as he is the first known Papa, revealed to be the son of Nihil Emeritus. Though little was known about him, that doesn't stop the headcanons. I headcanon that he had long blonde hair, and bouncy bangs brought to thr front. I feel as though his hair was straight, but curved in at the ends to form a naturally rounded shape. I feel that he loved gardening and still would, be that he was here today. I see a sweet man all throughout life, at worst being a frustrated snap followed by a sincere apology.

• Secondo, whore of the clergy. The love of my life. This is the man who should probably kiss me on the mouth. Kidding. Mostly. I enjoy his character and the lengths of which I can take it in fiction. He's funny, he's kind, but he's also described as cold and bitter. I think I can see that. Different people see different sides of one. On that note, I'm very in love with my son-of-Secondo OC. In my character's canon, he doesn't find out about their blood relation until adulthood. But recently, I have played around with the idea of him actually being raised by Secondo. How would that have gone?

• Terzo Emeritus, my beloved muse. I could go on for years, I'm certain. A man of pure confidence and respect, up until his sudden and unfortunate death. I see him as traumatized upon return. Scarred, patched back together, but to have to be fixed means you were once destroyed. Perhaps deliberately, and in this case it was so. Torn apart after death and for what? I know in full heart that he was beyond broken. That doesn't mean anyone is meant to know it.

• Copia! My third favorite muse and the one I allow more of me into! His likes remind me of my own. Never did I feel so freed before him, how was I meant to know that he was going to be so relatable? The childish interests as well as being thrown into sudden positions of responsibility, his character is one you should be gentle with should you write. You wouldn't want to slip up such a delicate and worked upon story.

•I must continue. Nihil. I only spoke briefly before, but with the tiny sliver of younger-him that we have, it's my job to elaborate on him. My very purpose. One who's life was filled with shattered romances and one night who-gives-a-fucks, but never did he think he'd find himself playing around with one of his own ghouls. Hence my own ghoul, Air. Era 0 keyboards. A heart grasped deliberately, but unintentionally shattered. But Air was a proper worker, and despite his devastation when he couldn't keep what he had with Papa, it's only right to pretend it's okay, to pretend you're okay with him circling forever around her. Because he respects her too. I think with better communication, monogamy was never going to be good for Nihil. Nor Air. I don't know enough about Sister nor do I understand her enough to try to interpret her relationship with, well, relationships.

[ginger-snap-talkin-nonsense]

Why do the writers at King of the Hill expect us to see Cotton Hill as anything other than evil (and not in a "funny"/"love to hate him" way) when he sexually abuses Luanne and almost sexually abuses Bobby in the first episode that he's formally introduced? Shouldn't it reflect badly on Hank as a guardian that he allows Bobby to be alone with his abuser after that?

This can't even be blamed on the better writers leaving the show in the later seasons. This was in the first season, and Cotton never gets better considering that he tortures Bobby by putting him in solitary confinement for three days in season 7.

Okay, so just to clarify off the bat, the sexual abuse anon is referring to is in Cottons debut where he smacks Luanne's ass and then is immediately responded to with a threat if he tries it again, and a failed attempt at taking him to a place he remembers being a brothel, but I think this anon is getting at the heart of a bigger issue regarding how people think critically about character writing.

Cotton Hill is a bad person. Full stop. He was an abusive husband and father when Hank was a child and even in his shallowed love of his new wife and kid, he's still repugnant, misogynistic, bigoted, etc.

But that's a feature, not a bug because Cotton exists in relation to Hank.

You see, King of the Hill has a running theme (at least in the pre flash era) of change and how we confront trauma in the face of that change. Cotton as a character was abused himself-first by his military boarding school which the mere thought of puts him in the only tears we see him in in the series, then by enlisting in World War 2 at age 15 where he was physically disabled, watched his friends die, was ripped from the woman who he fell in love with, and then discharged and left broken and impoverished.

And Cotton does anything he can to run from accepting that he was traumatized by all of that. He treats it like it's made him strong and better, he wears his misery like a badge of honor and refuses kindness and sympathy as a result.

Thanks to this idea of what iteams to hurt, he turned those ideas onto Hank growing up. Cotton was a lot of things but he wasn't (as far as we know in the show) physically abusive, but he was mentally and emotionally abusive and that led to Hank believing a lot of negative things about sharing feelings or gender roles.

And then he meets Peggy who starts dismantling the stigmas about the gender binary and has Bobby who dismantles his feelings about feelings. A lot of Cotton episodes are in relation to how Hank is raising Bobby right by unpacking the unhealthy environment he grew up in with his wife and striving to be better. This happens with Peggy and her mother as well but to a far lesser extent.

Beyond that, Cotton represents how complicated emotions can be in regards to bad people you have sympathy for. Hank, despite learning to see the many flaws with his father, still wants a healthy and positive relationship with his dad. The show never knocks for wanting this or continuing to strive for it, rather it tells Hank that he can't force anyone else into his shit like his wife or son.

Meanwhile Peggy despises Cotton for all he's done to Hank and how he treats women, and the show never knocks her either. Peggy is entirely within her rights to hate him and the closest they ever get a mutual respect for how strong they've been while getting past their hardest moments.

Cotton may deserve sympathy for what he's been through, but does that mean you can forgive him for all the terrible things he did as a result of his unchecked trauma and the time he grew up in? The show doesn't have an answer, it's up to each individual person, and no answer is wrong.

That's why Cotton is a strong character. There's nuance to him and how he interacts with the other characters. He furthers the shows central theme and introduces his own.

A written bad person does not equate to bad character writing

[lollytea]

Re pen featherington, I love (and love to hate) just how messy the whole thing is. Everything she does for good intentions is also tarnished by being just as self serving, it’s sooo not black and white. Like yess, Colin should know what he’s getting into marrying Marina, but to air the whole thing out to the world?? When Pen KNOWS that Colin is the type of guy who’d agree to be a dad to a non-bio kid. And the fact that the breaking point for exposing eloise was eloise saying she’ll pose as lady whistledown? Like girl the final straw was not protecting your friend it was your own reputation??

(I just really love the juxtaposition with her and eloise though. That "at least I did something" really did hit home. Oof!!! But at what cost??)

But genuinely I DO NOT KNOW how she can pull off peacefully entering the bridgerton household with all the scandal and heartache she’s put them through, especially with one of them already knowing her secret. And it’s almost the Marina situation for Colin all over again!!! You can’t stand by your decision to out Marina to protect Colin and then expect Eloise to not out your secret to protect him too. Karma is alive and well in the ton!!!

(I'm sorry you sent this a while ago but I forgot to answer it!!)

I admire how realistically flawed both Eloise and Penelope are. Eloise is self centered and arrogant and judgemental and whiny. Penelope is cowardly yet impulsive. She's scathing and cruel and she has too much power and she uses it flippantly to hurt other people. They're both just teenagers who are in WAY over their head. They kinda suck. But they're still so young and so sheltered, despite being already advertised for marriage. Because of the society they've been placed into, they've both donned such nasty armor to protect themselves. Little girls who are expected to perform as adults. It's made them terrible people. But unfortunately, I don't think the narrative itself views it that way, which makes it frustrating. I'm perfectly okay with the show having its main characters do awful things, but I'd appreciate it if said awful things leave an impact.

I think what Penelope did to Marine was probably the vilest thing she has ever done. I don't really consider the Eloise thing half as terrible. At least it was at least somewhat of a "frying pan or fire" situation that Penelope felt like she had to choose for Eloise. Meanwhile, with Marina, Pen should have just minded her own damn business.

Like. Colin would have been FINE. He's a man. A rich man. Getting married to a woman who lied to him would not be the end of his life. At worst, he would have been a bit unsatisfied. Meanwhile if Marina did NOT marry Colin, she could have been on the street. The girl lied and manipulated for the sake of survival. And I frankly don't care if she did. They're really going to create a society where women are held at the mercy of men and NOT expect the women to start getting all gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss about it? Fuck yourself. Maybe the men should just be smarter.

It's debatable if Penelope really understands the complexity of the situation. Or if she even realizes just what could become of Marina if her secret is revealed. After all, she is only a teenage girl at the time. And a sheltered one, at that. However, Lady Whistledown proves that Penelope, for all her sexual unawareness, is exceptionally intelligent and has an extensive knowledge of social norms. So it's like....iunno? Did she fully understand the consequences of her actions? Did she care? Did she regret it? Or was she just a stupid lovesick girl who only cared about a boy who barely looked at her.

I think I'd really just like Penelope to talk about it. Explain what was going through her head at the time. Allow this action of hers to be held with significant weight by the narrative. What pisses me off is that it was just waved off as irrelevent once Marina was written out of the show. Its like they're scared of delving into it because the show loves shying away from what a messy character Penelope is. At the moment, it feels like they're ignoring it in favour of making her a misunderstood tragic angel.

ALSO YEAH it makes me so sad. I saw a few gifsets of the scene where Colin announces their engagement to the family and Violet and Francesca and Hyancinth are so wholesomely delighted and they swarm Penelope with affection. They love her. They love her so deeply. Meanwhile she has caused this family so much pain. And she did so deliberately. What will they think of her once its revealed? What bothers me is that I fear that THEIR feelings are going to be glossed over as unimportant.

But COLIN'S feelings too!!! How the fuck are you gonna do that?? Like even if he wasn't in love with Marina, she was still an innocent girl in a difficult situation that he had quite a lot of affection for. And then he finds out that his current fiancée ruined her life. How is he supposed to react to that? And his sister too!! His sister who he loves deeply. Colin is supposed to be kind. I really can't imagine him feeling anything but disgust. But I KNOW the show is gonna have him way too heart-eyed over Penelope to really care to the extent that he SHOULD. He MIGHT be angry but it probably won't last long. And there definitely won't be a satisfying reason for his anger to subside. Probably just because Penelope looked at him with her big puppy eyes.

AND YKNOW I wouldn't even care if Penelope and Colin were simply acknowledged as shitty people. But they're not. Penelope is a messy morally grey queen but the show is scared of getting into the thick of it. They've made her do too much awful shit and now they're scared to unpack it. Now she's their special little princess <333

UGGHH. YKNOW???

[sleepingnova]

Hollow boy

Basically, I had a nightmare last week and this was all I could think about so..yeah :) (I literally almost cried to this shit, that nightmare was so sad bro—)

wc: 1.6k lmao <3

me actually posting something? Ain't no way, but lowkey I cooked a stew with this one 🤭

Peter Benjamin Parker. Named after his wonderful uncle Ben that he adored with every fiber of his being. But, he didn’t feel like a Parker. He didn’t feel as if he deserved that name. 

It’s Thanksgiving break, and as luck would have it, May is gone for the week. Some joke of a job that makes you have to go on training for an entire week, he thought. It’s quiet, way too quiet for a regular Saturday night. Last he checked, the avengers were here this weekend, claiming they all missed their favorite “spider kid”. So, then, why on earth is it so quiet?

The only other option is that he’s sleeping. Except, it’s not a peaceful sleep. It’s yet another nightmare that plagues the young spider’s mind. To which, it’s not uncommon, everyone in the avengers tower has nightmares, every single person there. So then why is it so surprising to everyone that he has them as well?

He tosses and turns in the bed that Mr. Stark so graciously let him sleep in, considering that he would buy anything Peter wanted, because he loves his kid so dearly. It’s a soft bed, extremely comfortable, feels like a giant marshmallow, so why does it feel so.. Different?

His breathing gets heavier as the seconds turn to minutes, tears slowly streaming down his face as he sleeps, but nonetheless, he still turns in his bed every 2.5 seconds. 

Peter has nightmares all the time, ever since homecoming, so why is this one any different? Well, this time, it’s about Ben. After witnessing the death of the most important person in his life, he now resides in his slurred dreamlike state, wearing a crisp black and white suit, slightly stained with blood that isn’t his and stained with tears as he feels the bumpy concrete under him dig into his knees. His voice is raw, unfiltered, and full of emotions as he begs, cries, and pleads with the woman in front of him who looks like his dear aunt May, to allow him to say his final goodbye to the man in the coffin. The man who would still be alive if it weren't for Peter Benjamin parker. 

He currently resides in the lucid state of sleep paralysis, his body betraying him as he lays still in his bed, coating his pillow with his flowing stream of tears. As he watches the world he knows and loves crumble to pieces, he sobs, his eyes bloodshot and puffy as he ruins the suit that he had to practically sell everything he owned to afford, he claws at the ground, with a grip so strong, he could tear the road open if he wanted to. He is scared, afraid even, and he wants to return to the real world. Away from this hellish nightmare he crawled into. 

Meanwhile, the avengers are in Tony’s lab, having fun and playing cards as Tony works, focused on team bonding and fun to escape their problems. An alert pops on Tony's screen, something along the lines of the robotic voices of both Jarvis, Friday, and Karen, in unison, talking about his dear kid’s blood pressure going through the roof, at risk of a severe anxiety attack. Only problem was, Peter was asleep. 

“Sir, would you like me to initiate the protocol ‘Spider-baby can’t sleep’?” Jarvis’ voice comes through the lab, the other avengers heads’ popping up at the sound of a speculated threat.

“Tones, what’s going on? You okay?” Rhodey’s voice cuts through the silence as Tony clears his throat.

“There's something wrong with Peter, I'll go check on him.” Tony replies, standing up, running a hand through his greasy hair, as he walks towards the elevator to go to Peter's floor, unbeknownst to him, the others following him like lost puppies. 

Peter awakes from the state with a sharp gasp, clutching his chest so harshly that he leaves slight crescent shaped claw marks near his chest. The space around him spins, all of a sudden feeling very claustrophobic, when there’s a knock at the door.

“Son of Tony, the robotic woman has alerted friend Stark of your troubles. We have come to your aid.” Thor’s voice echoes into the room, but Peter can only hear certain parts. The room only stops spinning when he spots a shorter figure walking up to him, crouching next to him.

“Underoos. Hey, what’s going on? C’mon, talk to me, kid.” Tony reaches out to console the boy in a soft, almost condescending tone, one that Peter knows all too well.

“Mter Star- can- can breath..” Peter’s voice comes out in a hushed whisper. He’s convinced everyone in the doorway can hear how loudly and harshly his heart is beating out of his chest.

“Legolas, hit the lights, would you?” Tony whispers, waving his hand at his hard of hearing team mate.

The lights come on and Tony's heart shatters at the sight. Here in front of Tony, sits Peter,  his face a bloody red, his eyes bloodshot and dilated, tears streaming down his face as the poor boy clutches his chest, small faint traces of blood leaking into his nails from how hard he’s clutching his chest. 

“Pete, hey, look at me. I’m right here. Can I touch you?” He whispers, reaching his hand out, hesitating ever so slightly.

Peter scans his mentor's face, hating the way it softens as it scans Peter's face in fear. 

No words come out of Peter's mouth as his ragged breathing gets worse, terrified of knowing what Mister Stark would think of him. His eyes dart around, scanning each face he sees for each individual reaction. Every single minute detail of someone’s facial expression gets taken into account. 

“Come on, breathe with me. Ready? Deep breath in,” Tony takes an exaggerated breath in, the trembling teen trying his best to mimic his mentor’s actions, tears still streaming down his face as he buries his face into his hands, continuously wiping the salty tears that fall. 

“Out. You’re doing great, spidey, let’s try again.” Tony’s overly calm voice rings in Peter’s ears as he eventually calms down, and yet he can’t seem to open his mouth as he stares straight past the avengers, burning a hole into the wall with his gaze. 

“Hey, focus up, kid. What’s going on?” Rhodey’s hand on his back pulls him out of his thoughts, as he stares at everyone currently in his room, his face getting progressively more red in embarrassment, even though no one could tell, his face was already extremely red from sobbing his eyes out. 

“It’s nothing, just a stupid dream. I really didn’t mean for this to happen, honest.” He replies, trying to blink away the burning feeling in his eyes.

“Don’t give me that crap. Come on, ‘roos, one way or another I’m gonna get the answer out of you, so just spill the beans.” Tony interjects, and Peter looks him in his eyes, looking for any sign of deception, looking away after a split second when he doesn’t see any. 

“It was stupid, really. Just a dumb nightmare.” The boy mutters under his breath, too embarrassed to even speak.

“It may sound dumb to you, but I can tell you right now, every single person in this room right now, has nightmares. Each and every one of us. Yours count just as much as ours do. So, come on, lay it on us. There’s very little secrets when it comes to us. We gossip so much, it’d put the Mean Girls to shame.” Bucky argues, his last point getting a small laugh from everyone, and Steve cuts in, “Why do you think Buck and I share a room? It’s ‘cause we’re the only two strong enough to hold each other down. Our nightmares get violent, really easily.”

“It’s just.. Ben. I miss him so much. I could have saved him, I don't know, it just makes me think. If I never got bit by the spider, would Ben still be alive? I don’t know, I just think about him sometimes. It’s been almost 4 years and I still haven’t gotten over it.” Peter sniffs, his eyes glancing to his phone, looking at the strange ‘You okay?’ text from his adoring aunt May.

“Did you.. Uh.. you texted May?” He asks, to which, Tony sifts a hand through his hair.

“Oh, yeah. I didn’t really know what to do, so I texted her. To which, she told me you have these nightmares all the time. Apparently, they’re way worse at your apartment than they are here. Aunt Hottie told me you’ve gotten noise complaints from screaming?” Tony’s eyes furrow, glancing over his kid, wondering why the hell for the love of god, he can’t have a normal life. 

“Yeah…the landlord said if it happens again, he’s kicking us out..haha..so..I don’t sleep. Or, well, when I do, it’s outside of the apartment. Can’t risk it.” Peter laughs airly, running a hand through his sweaty hair, scratching at his scalp. Tony makes a mental note to secretly find their landlord in an alleyway. Either that or convince May to move into the tower, there’s more than enough room for them. 

“Why don’t you come down to the lab with us? We’re playing cards. Just until you feel sleepy again?” Steve suggests and Peter nods, following Steve out of the room. 

The rest of them trail out of the room, simultaneously looking at each other, suggesting the same thing: 

Peter needs therapy, bad. Also, his landlord better hope and pray they don't find themselves in an empty alleyway at 3 am. As Peter walks with Steve, his hand ruffling the young spider’s hair, he thinks two things. 

One, how can you be a hero if you can’t save the people you love? And two, how could a man like Benjamin Parker, see something other than a pathetic, wannabe, no-good cursed boy, who kills everyone he comes into contact with, in his adoring nephew, Peter Benjamin Parker? 

Peter makes a mental note to leave later that morning to visit Ben’s grave, but he can’t help but wonder if Ben would even recognize the person who is speaking to him; Peter Benjamin Parker, a hollow boy, plagued by grief.

[lostloveletters]

Bruised Fruit Chapter 7 (Michael Corleone x OC)

Summary: Gloria's last night out before she's a married woman only fuels her hesitations about marrying Michael, but despite her attempts to distance herself from him, he pulls her in deeper with an earth-shattering revelation.

Note: This takes place pre-Vatican II which changed a lot of things in the Catholic Church, including how mass was celebrated (seems like weekday mass has always been short though, lol), but it’s nothing too significant for now. Additionally, the name Ciro is pronounced Chee-ro in Italian.

Warnings: Angst, descriptions of pregnancy, mentions of abortion. Predominant Catholic themes and symbolism, mainly involving guilt.

Chapter 6 | AO3 Link | Masterlist

Do not interact if you're under 18, terf or radfem, or post thinspo/ED content. I will block you.

“Okay, so my parents are watching the kids tonight, and I know your people will be there, but I left the number for the club anyway,” Gloria said, slipping her foot into a black heel.

“Alright, darling. Don’t have too much fun,” Michael said, though she knew he loathed the idea of the bachelorette party the moment Vivian brought it up just two weeks prior.

It didn’t help that Connie and Sandra jumped on the idea too, even though a wedding date hadn’t even been set yet. Gloria hadn’t heard anything about the annulment in a while. She supposed the other Corleone women were just as antsy as she was to get out and go somewhere for the night.

Vivian insisted as soon as she sniffed out the slightest resistance from Michael, claiming it was only fair because the Corleones had already thrown their own engagement party in Lake Tahoe, and Gloria’s parents certainly wouldn’t do anything of the sort. He only conceded when Connie mentioned a nightclub the family operated in Manhattan. Gloria was itching to get back to that scene, thoroughly bored by domesticity.

“I’ll probably be back late. Don’t wait up for me.”

Michael smiled a bit, the purplish-gray bags beneath his eyes betraying yet another days long bout of insomnia. While Vivian and Jackie were over for dinner just two evenings before, Vivian had offered to get him in with one of the doctors at Sacred Heart to write him a prescription for sleeping pills. Michael had politely refused, insisting he was fine and had his own doctor.

Pride wouldn’t allow him to resort to turning to medication to cure his insomnia, not when he was already so reliant on it to manage his diabetes. Knowledge of his having that condition was so closely guarded, Gloria wasn’t always sure who in the family knew and who didn’t.

At times, Gloria wondered if Michael considered his suffering through his insomnia a form of self-appointed penance. Then again, that would require him to feel guilt about something. She tried not to think of Fredo, his memory potentially haunting his brother, but it was difficult not to when her own brother was around more often. 

A car horn outside signaled the arrival of her partying companions for the evening. Michael had arranged the driver, a newer family associate who had worked for the man who previously lived in their house before he passed away.

“If you need anything, call the house. If I don’t pick up, someone else will,” he said. “I love you.”

She gave him a quick kiss. “Love you too.” She grabbed her purse and rushed out the front door. Off to the races.

Connie was halfway out the back window of the car parked outside. “C’mon Glo, there’s room back here if we all squeeze in!”

Gloria shook her head, opening the front passenger seat instead. “I’ll sit up front with Ciro.”

The young man smiled at her remembering his name. They’d only spoken twice before, though she saw him more often when she’d bring the kids into the city after school to meet Michael at Genco and go for dinner. Ciro usually stood guard outside the olive oil company’s modest office building, stoney and suspicious-looking until he’d see her and smile, betraying his youthful face.

“Good evening, Mrs. Corleone,” Ciro said.

Sandra reached over the seat, playfully shaking Ciro’s shoulder. “Not Mrs. yet Ciro! That’s why we’re going out tonight!”

Vivian cheered, and Ciro laughed, smiling once more at Gloria before driving off. He entertained their antics, even bashfully acquiescing to Connie’s invasive question as to whether or not he had a girlfriend.

“No,” he answered, “not for some time.”

“C’mon, a good-looking guy like you?” Vivian asked.

“I’m focusing on work right now,” he said. “It wouldn’t be right for me to have a girlfriend and not be able to spend any time with her.”

“Aw, Gloria, tell Michael to give Ciro a vacation so he can find himself a nice girl,” Sandra said.

Gloria scoffed, “That’d go over well.”

They arrived at the nightclub not long after that, greeted by a bright, neon green sign for The Archer.

Ciro pulled up to the valet, all of the passenger doors opened for them upon their arrival. He parked directly in front of the club’s main entrance, the only car allowed to do so.

“I’ll be out here. You find me when you need to be driven home,” he said.

“You can’t come in for one drink?” Gloria asked.

He shook his head. “Thank you, I really can’t.”

Their coats and bags were collected at the door, the host emphatically reminding them that all drinks were on the house as he led them to a VIP booth.

The Archer had recently been remodeled, the walls covered in emerald green, scale-shaped tiles that resembled a snake’s glimmering skin beneath the club’s dim lighting. The booth was a sleek, modern white, deceptively creamy yet plush to the touch as it wrapped in a semi-circle around a crystalline table with gold accents. 

Funny, Michael wouldn’t be caught dead in the very nightclub he owned. Instead, he preferred old-fashioned, kind of run-down family-owned places with generous servings, strong wine, and attentive table service. The owners would always come out from the back to personally greet him, offering antipasto or a bottle of wine on the house. It almost made Gloria feel like being with a celebrity. And he was, in a way, among this eccentric group of people to whom he was more important and influential than the president.

A waitress came by the table to take everyone’s drink orders, Gloria requesting her usual rum and coke. As soon as she walked away, a waiter practically ran to the table with glasses of champagne for all four of them.

“Courtesy of Mr. Corleone,” he said.

Gloria smiled. “Thanks.”

“How about a toast, huh?” Connie proposed.

“Alright, may you and Michael have at least fifty wonderful years of marriage and half a dozen kids running around,” Sandra said.

“You’re supposed to be wishing her luck, not her worst nightmare,” Vivian joked, though it was clearly missed on Connie and Sandra.

“She’s kidding,” Gloria quickly said, shooting a glare at her sister-in-law. 

“Nothing but happiness for you and Michael, god knows what he would’ve done if you weren’t around, Gloria,” Connie said, not missing a beat.

Vivian grinned as she gave her toast. “Here’s to committing to the same cock for the rest of your life.”

Sandra laughed loudly, nodding in agreement, “God willing!”

“This is getting out of hand,” Connie snickered.

“Alright, cheers,” Gloria said, clinking glasses with her companions. 

Gloria threw back the champagne, not caring for the taste but dealing with it for the significance of the occasion. Still, she wanted it gone by the time her rum and coke came around. She tried to pace herself on her first drink, sipping while listening attentively to Vivian dishing the latest gossip from the hospital. Though it seemed she was catching Sandra and Connie up on just about everything that had happened since she started working there nearly fifteen years before.

“There’s this woman who works down in the maternity ward, her husband used to be a priest,” Vivian said.

“Hold on, was he a priest when they met—“ Sandra’s eyes widened as Vivian nodded, “Madone , and I thought I’ve sinned.”

“I mean, there are plenty of ‘em around at Sacred Heart. I’m just surprised they didn’t fire her.”

“All those nuns probably aren’t so innocent themselves,” Connie said.

Gloria laughed. “God, if my mother heard you all right now.”

“Oh, I don’t tell her half the stuff that goes on there. She’d have a heart attack,” Vivian said.

After another round of drinks, Gloria decided it was time to dance. She wasn’t particularly great at it, but it was fun, and dancing on her own in the house wasn’t the same. Michael refused to join her, especially when it came to the more upbeat, contemporary songs she preferred, but late at night, in tender moments when it was just the two of them, she could convince him to share a slower dance with her in the confines of their bedroom.

She loved Michael best in their bedroom. She didn’t have to restrain herself there, not when they were in bed together or just in each other's company. He showed unprecedented vulnerability there, the way he had during their clandestine rendezvous in Las Vegas hotel rooms, when he didn’t have to be Don Corleone. Any time she’d been with Michael outside of a bedroom, whether as his mistress or his fiance, there’d have to be distance, restraint, like they were respectable people when they both knew they were the opposite. 

So she let loose on the dancefloor, probably the last time she’d be able to go clubbing like that. The end of an era. She downed another glass of champagne in memory of the soon to be deceased party girl. She’d made it last longer than most. Wincing at the taste, she quickly ordered another rum and coke.

Her rotation of dance partners was dizzying as everyone moved about haphazardly. She wasn’t sure if rock n’ roll was on The Archer’s usual rotation, or a special request someone had made on her behalf that night, but at least she was going out with a bang. 

Leaning against the bar, feeling sweat begin to roll down the side of her face, the bartender offered to pour her a shot. She accepted, throwing it back just as ‘All I Have To Do Is Dream’ began to play. One of the few contemporary songs Michael would dance to with her. She wouldn’t sit that one out in his absence.

Her gaze fell to Ciro, now standing by the coat check. Maybe it'd gotten too chilly waiting outside.

She waved him over. 

His dark brows furrowed and he pointed to himself. 

She nodded. 

“Will you dance with me, Ciro? I love this song,” she asked when he walked over.

“I don’t know…I’m supposed to be working—“

“Just this one?”

He nodded, reluctantly taking her hand in his. He kept a safe distance between them, almost laughably farther apart than the other slow dancing couples who were wrapped in each other’s arms.

“Ciro’s a very Italian name,” she said over the music.

He chuckled softly. “Well, I am Italian.”

“You probably have half a dozen brothers and sisters.”

“Eight of us,” he answered. “I’m the fifth.”

“So I bet we all don't seem that crazy to you.”

“No, not at all.”

“How old are you, anyway?”

“Twenty-five.”

“Me too,” she said. “Y’know up until a few months ago, I used to work in a place like this.”

“Out in Las Vegas, right? Don Corleone mentioned it once.”

“I can imagine what else he’s said about me,” she joked.

“He cares about you very much. At least what I overhear,” he said, quickly adding, “I don’t make it my business to eavesdrop.”

She smiled. “It’s alright, Ciro. Your secret’s safe with me.” The song came to its end a little too soon for Gloria's liking. “Thanks for the dance.”

He nodded. “I should get back now.”

Thinking she should do the same, she made her way back to the table. Dancing with Ciro felt nice, almost normal, though she didn’t have much of a comparison for what normal was. Before she was engaged, she supposed.

Vivian reached for her hand, patting it. “I gotta call it a night.”

Sandra nodded. “Me too.”

“Lightweights,” Connie teased.

“Too old is more like it,” Sandra said. “Gloria, I’m gonna be asleep before you and Michael even have your first dance at the wedding party.”

“Thanks for coming out tonight,” Gloria said with a smile. “It was fun.”

They parted with kisses on the cheek, and she watched as they made their way over to the coat check, gathering their things while Ciro got the car ready outside.

“More drinks?” Connie asked.

“I could get a few more rum and cokes in me,” Gloria said.

By the time a server brought over her fifth of the night, she was beginning to doubt her own statement. By Connie’s own admission, she hadn’t restrained herself when it came to the near-endless shots of tequila that were brought to the table every few minutes it seemed. She switched things up with a martini, however.

“You know Sandra and Tom are—”

“I kinda figured,” Gloria said. “Takes one to know one.”

“I feel bad for Theresa, but I mean, after Sonny was killed, Tom was the only one who could get through to Sandra. Sonny loved all of us, but Tom was his favorite brother even though he’s not blood. I guess it was only natural for them to share their grief that way."

“I can’t imagine,” Gloria said. 

She really couldn't. Michael seemed larger than life, impervious to death itself. If anything, he was to be feared over the great unknown, colder and more distant than death and whatever lay beyond it could ever hope to be. If even a fraction of what she read in the papers were true—and she knew they were—he dealt death like a deck of cards. No matter the hand, it was always in his favor. 

“Sonny would’ve liked you,” Connie said. “I think–he would’ve been glad for Michael. He always saw the best in people. At least, to me he did.” She downed the rest of her martini, nearly slamming it on the table when she finished. “Then Michael blamed Carlo for it, and he—Carlo could be a mean fucking prick, believe me, but he was my husband. What gave him the right to—”

“The right to what?”

“But Sonny was hot-headed. It could’ve been anyone who set him up. Then right before we moved to Nevada—dead. It’d been nearly ten years, but that didn’t matter. An eye for an eye. I don’t think I’ve really been happy since,” Connie lamented quietly.

The noise in the bar became muffled. Gloria’s lungs burned with each breath she tried to take, as if she were suddenly dropped into the deep sea without oxygen. Her vision blurred, watery and uncertain. Maybe it was how Fredo felt when he drowned. Drowned.

She realized then the extent of Michael’s unwillingness to forgive–inability sounded more like it.

Connie grabbed Gloria’s shoulder, shaking her a bit. “Hey, I’m drunk, what do I know?” 

Gloria forced a smile. 

She could hardly concentrate when Connie steered the conversation elsewhere, and within an hour, they decided to call it a night. Ciro had returned from dropping off Vivian and Sandra, and Gloria felt almost bad asking the guy to drive back to Long Island again. He didn’t seem to mind, though, helping Connie into the car when she nearly tripped over her coat on the way in. Gloria sat in the back with her this time, her gaze drifting between the buildings out the window and the back of Ciro’s head.

He dropped Connie off at her place first, walking her to the door and making sure she got in alright. 

“Ciro, will you drive around just a little bit more?” Gloria asked when he returned to the car. “I’m not ready to call it a night yet.”

He hesitated, but nodded, driving down a side street instead of continuing on the way back to the house. As homes and street signs passed by, she knew the direction he was heading. Her eyelids grew heavy, yet she awoke when he parked near the Long Beach boardwalk. The cool sea breeze reinvigorated her when she stepped out of the car.

He followed her to the boardwalk, the both of them leaning against the wooden railing just a few inches apart.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

“Not really, but what can you do?”

Nothing. There was nothing he could do. He was young, and in the family hierarchy probably a buttonman or soldier, whatever it was called. Maybe not even made yet. From what she'd gleaned working in Vegas and conversations with Michael, it took a long time for someone to officially be considered part of the family, and besides earning trust and respect, one task was almost certainly required of these men. It wasn’t like she could ask outright ask him, ‘Hey Ciro, ever killed someone for my fiance?’ Regardless, she didn’t want to know.

They watched the ocean waves in silence, the moon glittering off of the water in the pitch dark night. She wished she could dive under and emerge somewhere far across the sea.

“It’s getting late. I should bring you home now,” Ciro said.

Gloria wordlessly began making her way back to the car. A melancholy swept over her as they neared the house.

“Thank you for everything tonight, Ciro. It means a lot.”

“Good night, Gloria.”

She smiled, waving at him as she made her way up the short walkway to the house.

For the next few days, she avoided Michael when she could. Something about being around him made her feel uneasy. Or maybe it was the morning sickness, which she made attempts to hide from him by going on early walks and throwing up in neighbors’ flower bushes. The first time it happened, she attributed the sickness to food poisoning. Except food poisoning didn’t last for weeks on end. 

Gloria spent more time at her parents’ house, knowing Michael would generally steer clear of there unless absolutely necessary to go. Ironically, she spent more time with Anthony and Mary as a result, the kids asking her to bring them with her whenever she’d express her desire to go over. Her parents doted on them. Her mother and Mary were usually occupied in the crafting room, probably painting while Julia educated Mary on the ins and outs of New York's Democratic politics. Anthony had quickly grown close with her father, the two of them watching Yankee games in the living room whenever they were on. When they’d all walk to the park up the street, they’d play ball, Julia and Mary playing outfield while Gloria would referee from the wooden park bench nearby.

“Mary says you’re sick all the time in the mornings,” Julia said one afternoon, taking a seat next to her daughter.

“I drink too much,” Gloria lied. She hadn’t drunk since the bachelorette party, when after two days of vomiting she began to suspect the worst.

“When was the last time you bled?”

“Stress can cause that too.”

“You should make a doctor’s appointment.”

“They’ll tell me it’s nothing.”

Julia held up her hands in acquiescence. “Whatever you say.” That didn’t mean her mother was finished throwing hardballs her way. “When was the last time you went to mass?”

Gloria groaned. “Mom—“

“Drop the kids off at school tomorrow morning and then meet me at the church. St. Catherine's still has daily mass at 8:30.”

Anthony and Mary had been enrolled in the same Catholic school Gloria had gone to growing up. Even though there were parishes closer to Gloria and Michael, it had become their parish by virtue of her family already going there. They certainly weren’t going to turn down the generous donation to the parish on behalf of the Corleone family.

During the tour of the school before Michael had enrolled the kids, Gloria felt an indescribable deja vu sitting in the principal’s office again. Except she wasn’t in trouble, and the nun behind the desk was relatively young and incredibly nice, far more so than Sr. Margaret had been. Sr. Jeanne expressed that she’d do everything she could to make Anthony and Mary feel welcome despite starting there in the middle of the school year.

“I’m gonna drop the kids off at school tomorrow,” Gloria said later that evening. “I’m meeting my mother at 8:30 mass.”

“What brought this on?” Michael asked.

“She asked me. I guess I figured I’d humor her.”

“You’ve been spending a lot of time at your parents’.”

“So?”

“Nothing. It’s good to spend time with family,” he said, almost dismissively, but she could hear his displeasure lurking beneath the surface.

He noticed she was avoiding him and clearly thought her parents’ dislike of him had something to do with it. But he couldn’t protest it, not a man so obsessed with tradition and hierarchy. Despite how Americanized she was, Gloria and her family were still Sicilian, so as long as she and Michael weren’t married, her parents preceded him.

The following morning, Gloria drove her own car to drop Anthony and Mary off at school. It was a nice drive with the weather getting warmer, so they left the windows rolled down, Gloria’s favorite rock n’ roll station playing on the radio while the kids sang along to the songs they’d begun to recognize. 

When she pulled up to the school, she parked just between it and the church. She walked them up to the front doors, giving each of them a hug and extra lunch money.

Her mother arrived at St. Catherine’s just as Gloria made her way up the steps of the imposing church. The last time she stepped foot in St. Catherine’s was her high school graduation nearly a decade prior. It looked exactly the same as the last time she was there—marble floors and brick walls that led to a high ceiling supported by wooden rafters with ornate gold leafing. Each step one took inside the building would echo throughout. It was pretty much impossible to leave in the middle of mass unnoticed, which some people tried to do after communion.

She genuflected before getting into one of the wooden pews, her mother following. A few minutes went by, and they were joined by a friend of her mother’s, an older woman who also seemed to attend mass daily.

“Gloria, it’s been so long! Good to see you again, dear,” she said.

“Thank you.”

“And congratulations on the engagement. About time for a woman your age.”

Gloria smiled as politely as she could. 25-years-old and these people considered her nearly dead for not having a husband. If she had it her way, she wouldn’t even be engaged. 

“Any plans for kids?” she pried.

“Believe me, we’re trying,” Gloria said, feeling especially pleased at the scandalized expression that fell upon the old woman’s face, unable to react as mass was starting.

Though it’d been a while, Gloria knew weekday mass was always shorter than Saturday night or Sunday morning mass. She could endure half an hour of it.

As mass proceeded, she could still vaguely follow, though her Latin was rusty. St. Catherine’s offered four languages to its high school students. Gloria found French confusing despite her mother’s near insistence she take it, and Spanish was too close to Italian which was highly discouraged by her parents. She settled on Latin, and it ended up being one of the few subjects she consistently did well in, occasionally earning As on her report cards amongst the usual Bs and Cs.

She went through the motions of mass almost mechanically, her muscle memory of the service emerging from the mental depths she’d buried any piety under. The only reading for the mass came from Matthew, toward the end of chapter 18. Among the half-comprehensible verses, she caught one word in particular. Dimittam. To let go of or release-forgiveness.

Her chest tightened at recognition of the verse: Lord, how often shall my brother offend me, and I forgive him?

Jesus’ answer was symbolic, the nuns had told her. Forgiveness was limitless, to be doled out generously whether to one’s own brother or to those who didn’t deserve it. 

She thought back to what Connie had said at The Archer, the reason why she’d been avoiding her finance ever since. Coincidence, or a sign from a distant god that her suspicions about Michael were right. For as long as she’d known him, he could never let things go. She hadn’t minded it when it was for her benefit, like on their first trip to LA together. They had gotten dinner with Johnny Fontaine at a swanky nightclub he recommended. Gloria had nearly passed out when Johnny introduced them to Liz Taylor. Yet, later on that night, some up-and-coming actor wouldn’t give her the time of day despite her being a fan of his, complimenting his performance in his latest movie. The following morning he sent over a bouquet of flowers and personally called to apologize for his behavior, claiming he hadn’t been feeling well the night before when they met. Funny…she couldn’t remember his name anymore.

What had been on her mind wasn’t a perceived slight from an actor, though. If his own family wasn’t spared from his wrath, then neither was she. The priest’s homily was about forgiveness, something Michael rarely if ever doled out. Gloria could certainly hold her own grudges, but she couldn’t exactly do anything about them like he could. Maybe she understood the reasoning behind his ordering Connie’s first husband to be murdered; she'd want the same if someone had set Jackie up to die. But she couldn’t shake Fredo from her thoughts. What could he have possibly done to be denied forgiveness by his own brother? 

Her gaze drifted up toward the large crucifix on the wall behind the altar. Try marrying Michael Corleone.

Miraculously, she wasn’t struck down by a bolt of lightning, but after receiving communion for the first time in years, she prayed for Fredo’s soul, wherever it was.

Mass ended not long after, and she left her mother to talk with her obnoxious friend. She froze upon seeing Michael waiting outside for her.

“Michael, hi,” she said.

He smiled a bit, “Just ‘hi’? No, ‘I’m glad to see you’?”

“Of course I’m glad to see you.”

She gave him a kiss, a bit awkward and chaste, but she could chalk it up to being outside of a church.

“It’s a nice morning for a walk,” he said.

She nodded. “There’s a garden behind the convent. It’s pretty this time of year.”

He took her hand in his, and they meandered to the convent behind the church, following the worn stepping-stones to the prayer garden. Colorful and full of flowers, beautiful in the springtime, each blossom at its peak in May when they’d celebrate the Blessed Mother. She paused to look at a rose bush. Probably only a few days away; she’d know if she’d been paying attention.

“Darling, are you alright?”

She hummed. “Sure, I’m fine.”

“If you’re trying to convince me, you’re not doing a very good job.”

“The homily today was about forgiveness.”

“And?”

Her fingers twitched against his palm. “It’s just–you seem to have a hard time forgiving people.”

“Forgiveness isn’t compatible with what I do. You know that.”

“Is it worth it?”

“Does it matter?”

“I guess not.”

“Forget about all of that. I have great news.” He squeezed her hand. “We got a letter from Cardinal Spellman this morning. The Vatican approved the annulment.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh my god. This is actually happening.”

“We can finally set a date.” He smiled. “How does this summer sound?”

Too soon. “Perfect.”

“Why don’t we head home? I’ll drive us back in your car. Ciro has to run an errand for me, anyway.”

The drive back to the house wasn’t nearly as pleasant as the one she took earlier in the morning. No rolled down windows taking in the spring breeze or rock n’ roll stations playing her favorite songs. It was almost eerily silent, and a foreboding grew in her stomach as they neared the house. Or maybe she had to throw up again.

Something was off when they walked inside.

“Where is everyone?” Gloria asked, the house unusually empty for a weekday.

“I sent them out, gave them the day off. There’s something we need to discuss alone.”

“Is everything alright?”

“Yes, it’s just something I want to keep between us. We can talk about it in my office.”

She nodded, though she was sure her heart was going to jump out of her throat when she followed him into the room. He closed the door behind her despite their being alone. A heavy dread set over her body, and suddenly she felt cold, shaking as she sat down on the couch. He leaned against his desk, lighting a cigarette in his mouth and handing it to her.  

“Very few people know what I’m about to tell you, Gloria. Kay didn’t know. Most of my family still doesn’t,” Michael said. “You cannot repeat this to anybody. Do you understand?”

“I won’t.”

“You’re not going to be my second wife. Kay was my second wife.”

“What happened to your first wife?” Her curiosity was slaughtered the moment she asked. Looking into his eyes suddenly felt like being dragged to the second circle of hell.

His words cut through her curiosity with a closely controlled violence. “She was killed in Sicily by a car bomb that was meant for me. Her name was Apollonia. We were only married for a few months.”

Gloria froze. There it was, that drowning feeling again. Limbs heavy, lungs burning, sound muffled, everything moving in slow motion as the cigarette fell from her hand and onto the carpet. Her head drooped, and she let out a pained wail.

Her father’s words from just a few weeks prior echoed in her ears. ‘Has he got you living in some fantasy world? Where all that shit won’t touch you? That if you look the other way or keep your head in the sand, nothing will happen? He has no right promising you peace or safety when he deals in the opposite.’

Michael approached her cautiously, the way one does a wounded animal as not to frighten it. 

“Why would you tell me this?” she asked, looking up at him through the mess of black hair that had fallen in her face, voice strained as she held back a sob.

He knelt beside her, brushing her hair back to reveal black tear tracks that streaked down her cheeks. “So that you understand why I do the things I do, things I can’t always tell you about. Kay never understood, I don’t think she wanted to, but now you do. I’ll do everything in my power to protect you, and our baby. I had the man who did it killed, and I’d do the same for you, but it won’t come to that. Do you understand?”

There was no denying it anymore. No use in throwing up in flower bushes on early morning walks in the neighborhood to hide the clear signs of morning sickness from Michael. Whatever was inside of her, she wanted it out. Wished she could reach inside of herself and give it to him if he wanted it so bad. Kay’s abortion wasn’t so puzzling anymore. 

Against all better judgment, she clung to him, burying her face in the crook of his neck. Trapped with him, by him, his arms wrapping around her like a snake. She’d heard being burned alive was the most painful way to die. Unless it was instant, Apollonia spared the agony and passed it onto Kay, who through her abortion passed it onto Gloria. But there was no one else to turn to or confide in, no one who could do a damn thing about it.

“Gloria, it’s alright. As long as you listen to me, nothing will happen to you. No one will touch you.”

“You can’t promise that! You don’t know!”

“I love you,” he said, holding her tighter. “I love you.”

“More than you loved her?”

He was silent.

[veliseraptor]

WIP meme: let the foxes fight ?

I have to ask about DoL fic but if I can do two I am 👀 beholding the "original fiction- ex villains project" also

i'll allow it (she said officiously and entirely non-seriously)

so let the foxes fight is one that I think I referenced relatively recently as one of my fics that's like...this feels relevant to only my interests, probably, and would not exactly be a Hit even if anything in doctrine of labyrinths fandom could be described as a Hit (considering its size). the premise is basically "mildmay finds himself back in time before felix gets picked up by malkar, and takes it upon himself to rescue a traumatized older-younger brother from the brothel he's stuck in, and then is like 'okay but what do i do with him now' because as much as mildmay i think likes kids and knows from trauma this is not exactly a situation he was/is prepared to deal with.

i also don't really know where this is going, which is part of why this one has been sitting unfinished on my hard drive for literal years. part of my policy of "oooh I have an idea, let me just start writing it and see what happens" and then a couple thousand words in I run into a wall.

I exhaled hard trying to think what to say and finally just said, “I ain’t mad.” He gave me that real careful sideways look. “You ain’t,” he said slowly. I shook my head and he unwound a little, maybe, so I guess he might be buying my story about being a long-lost relative. That was a kept-thief fairytale right there. Felix was a little old for those now but I guess you never really grew out of wanting. “Yeah,” I said. “Like I said. I just want to help.” He relaxed a little more, and nodded, barely. “Okay,” he said, and gave me this little nervous smile, and it looked like the ones he’d given me sometimes when he was crazy and scared but glad I was there just the same, and sure as fuck felt like someone had my heart in their fist and was squeezing.

and then there's the ex-villain story which is probably my main squeeze as far as original fiction goes right now even if I've been stalled for a while because Worldbuilding Is My Nemesis and I need to do kind of a lot of it. this one was born out of my redemption equals death bugbear and how I love stories about people who have done awful things who then have to try to live with them, especially when they don't really want to live with them but they're kind of stuck with it. so my main character (kazem, @portraitoftheoddity actually made art of him here) is basically the Dark Lord of his world (or, well, he was, up until the local hero managed to beat him/talk him into beating himself) and the story takes place three years later when he is in a depression pit with no idea what to do with himself. also featuring:

a very angry mess of a woman whose sister died as a result of kazem's bad stuff;

another very angry woman who's my main antagonist because of some stuff in the hero's past (because i'm obsessed with hero figures who create their own villains) but i'm going to have a really hard time not rehabilitating her (only my problem is that she would rather die than give up on revenge, so);

said hero character who is basically acting as kazem's sponsor but is more of a fuckup than he looks at first blush;

and I really like it in concept and what I have so far in execution (again, a couple thousand words) but Worldbuilding, My Nemesis keeps getting in my way.

anyway, a snippet:

On the third anniversary of his defeat, Kazem didn’t get out of bed. The first year he’d stayed out of the way of the celebrations out of a sense of propriety and because of the fact that he was still coughing up blood every time he tried standing for longer than thirty seconds at a time. The second year he tried attending, thinking that he should pay his respects, show some sort of regret or remorse or...something.  He’d nearly gotten himself hanged.  So the third year, he woke up in the morning and stared at the ceiling, and made the very deliberate decision that today he was just going to...not. The sound of the celebrations outside drifted through the window of his dismal current abode, and he tried to shut it out. He was vaguely aware that he was indulging in self pity, but could not quite bring himself to care.  He could stay here feeling sorry for himself for the next three days if he damn well wanted to.