#all you had to do was come back <- that's just the kinda person i am you know

[wndaswife]

escape into you | wanda maximoff & fem!reader

Babysitting has been a lucrative side job, and an escape from your life as an overworked college student. But when you come to babysit on a day you weren’t scheduled, Wanda improvises.

Word count: 7306

Tags: smut, fluff, fingering, cunnilingus, suckling, kinda nipple play, age gap, mommy kink, ageplay (i have limited knowledge, so not heavy), mommy wanda, completely self-indulgent fic

It wasn’t only your workload that got overwhelming during the semester, but your lack of stability. You lived alone in a small apartment, but a heavy workload made for constant change, a constant drive forward, and never any time to settle. 

It was so often that you yearned for an escape from it all that you wondered if you really were the responsible and independent college student that you sometimes felt you were merely masquerading as. 

So often did you imagine yourself as someone younger, so much more vulnerable and needy for another’s care, that you wondered how much more realistic that version of yourself was. 

Who was it, then, who went through your day-to-day life? And who was it who sat in the back of your mind, waiting to be cared for?

It was through a chain of good fortune that you landed a job as a babysitter for Wanda Maximoff and her twins. You told your friend that you were searching for a casual side job just to make some extra money. Your friend’s aunt, who was going through a divorce, had just brought up to her that she was looking for a babysitter for some extra help now that it was just her and the twins at home, which made her work hours difficult. Since your friend wasn’t able to dedicate any of her weekends, she referred you to her aunt. 

Wanda worked as an environmental specialist and was often required to do hours upon hours of fieldwork a day, but the slow and time-consuming process of her divorce forced to move around a lot of her time, which shifted around a lot of her typical work hours and schedule at home.

The Maximoffs had become a landmark of stability for you since you started babysitting for Wanda a few months ago. It was typically every other weekend that you babysat for her and scarcely anything more infrequent than that, though sometimes she’d ask for you the following weekend if something came up and her ex-husband couldn’t take her sons.

It was Saturday, an hour or two before dinnertime, and honestly, all you’d been thinking about was going over to Wanda’s to babysit for the evening. 

You’d been in the library more often than you’d been at your place for the last two weeks, surviving on coffee and energy drinks and meals from around campus. 

Of course, you enjoyed being with the twins; they were sweet and quite mature for their age, and highly knowledgeable about their video games and on the board games in the house. It was nice to take walks with them and just hang out, and especially to hear how their schooling was going. 

But most of all, you liked Wanda. She was smart and beautiful and incredibly accomplished in her field. You admired her, and she always made sure you were taken care of. She never failed to let you know how much you took care of her needs. 

Your dynamic with Wanda was quite difficult to explain. It was as if you were a completely different person when you were with her. You couldn’t explain it to anyone else, and no one else could understand aside from the two of you. 

It was dusk now, and the air was getting cooler. Evening began to blanket over the town, and the warm amber lights coming from the windows of Wanda’s house felt so domestic and welcoming. 

When she opened her front door, she was in a minimalistic linen dress that reached her calves and a brown long sleeve beneath it — something she’d wear to stay home. She had no makeup on and her hair was worn in its natural waves, pulled back by a hair clip. 

Any minimal feeling of doubt that you’d come on the wrong day was swiftly confirmed when Wanda stepped forward, looking around behind you for just a moment before asking, “Hi, Y/N. Is everything alright?”

“Wh- Um… Yeah, I’m here for…” 

You trailed off, letting it set in that you had come on a weekend she didn’t need you. By how she was dressed, it was clear that Wanda was planning on staying home all night, and that the twins were with their father. 

“Oh, sweetheart,” she cooed, stepping forward onto the porch. “I think you’ve gotten the wrong day — the boys are with their dad this weekend.”

You stepped back, a bit embarrassed. It’s not like she could tell from your face how much you’d been looking forward to coming, only to feel like a humiliated and disappointed little kid.

“I think I did,” you admitted, feigning a casual bashfulness to avoid looking too scattered and immature. “Sorry. I must’ve mixed today up with some other deadline.”

As you spoke, Wanda regarded you patiently, watching you closely with a small supportive smile as an older woman normally would towards a much younger girl. 

“It’s alright, honey,” she responded kindly. 

There was a beat of silence as Wanda regarded you. Her eyes darted down your body for a moment, then towards the porch you were both standing on, her lips parting when she looked back up to offer, “If you have your schedule cleared for the evening, I’d love to have your company tonight.”

You swallowed. “Are you sure? I’m sure you must enjoy having time to yourself.”

“I’m quite sure, Y/N,” she insisted. She stepped to the side, allowing you entry into her house, a welcoming smile on her gorgeous face. “Come enjoy the evening with me.”

Your hands tightened around your backpack straps as you stepped forward, and you felt Wanda’s eyes running over your paled knuckles as you walked past her. 

“Are you hungry, sweetheart?” she asked, heading towards the kitchen as you put your bag down and took your things off at the front door. 

The place felt different without the twins around. It was quieter and more serious. The divorce papers laying on the coffee table of the living room emanated a threatening aura. You hurried after Wanda to see her peeling some carrots in the kitchen. 

“A little, but maybe just for a snack,” you replied, your eyes running over her body from behind. Her long dirty blonde hair spilled down her back in waves. Her smooth forearms dotted here and there with beauty marks and freckles flexed slightly as she peeled and chopped the carrots. 

“I’m nearly done cutting these up. Would you mind plating them for us?” she asked, looking over her shoulder at you. 

You felt your face flush and you hurriedly looked around for a plate, to which you found a round wooden dish by Wanda’s cutting board. 

Standing beside her, you organized the fruits and vegetables she’d cut into a neat setup. She had strawberries, grapes, snap peas, and now the carrots she was slicing. 

“How has school been, baby?” Wanda asked. At the pet name, you looked over at her as if called by a dog whistle. 

“Um…” You tried to speak, but felt that you were shrinking into yourself. Everything about school seemed far away, and not at all related to you. “It’s been busy.”

Wanda nodded understandingly. The sound of her knife slowly cutting through the carrot seemed to slice right through you, shooting down your spine. “You’re nearing your finals, right?”

“Yeah,” you said. You wanted to say more, but found that you just couldn’t bring yourself to talk much about those things. It was too stressful and… too big of a reality. 

“But what have you been up to…?” you asked, feeling a little shy. 

It wasn’t only that Wanda was just gorgeous and incredibly smart, but that she was older than you, more mature, more experienced, and always so motherly. She took her time with you, always, so careful and gentle when she spoke, and always regarding you with this knowing gaze, as if she knew more about you than she let on. 

“I’ve been alright. Nothing to complain about,” she said, slicing the last piece of carrot. 

When she put the last few slices into the wooden plate, she met your eyes with a smile, “Busy. Like you.” 

Within your shared gaze was an exchanged understanding, unspoken and quiet. It made something within your chest stir and awaken, tempting you to abandon anything that existed any further than her. 

Just for a little bit, at least. 

The two of you sat out in Wanda’s backyard on one of the couches, the platter placed on the cushion between the two of you. You and Wanda chatted mostly about herself, since in the moment you felt more like listening. Wanda spoke here and there about her divorce process, which was going as slowly as it had since the last time she spoke about it. She spoke about her job too, but quickly grew tired of that. 

When things got busy for you, it was hard to do anything more than study and stay up late and balance your time in a repetitive weary cycle — and mostly on your own. Sometimes being that overwhelmed made it easy to forget how dismal it all was. 

Any time with Wanda felt so much more real than the blur of days that flew by, overflowing in papers and mundane hours studying in grim libraries. 

Wanda’s backyard was quite large, and her patio was beautiful. Surrounded by the lush plants decorating Wanda’s vast backyard, and blanketed in her patio lights that complemented the purple-blue hue of the evening, you felt detached from the rest of the world.

Maybe it was Wanda’s voice that softened you so much, or her careful fingers and hands that moved like she had a deliberate intention to be delicate with anything she touched. A large part of you knew, however, that it was because of how she was able to coddle you as if you were more of a child than the independent college student you were. 

For how Wanda seemed to reach into you, pulling to the surface something that had long lain dormant since the last time she had brought it to life, again you wondered how much more real this version of yourself was — the version of yourself that was quieter, smaller, younger. 

“Oh, honey, you must be feeling so stressed,” Wanda sympathized when you told her a little about how you’ve been doing. With how you were sitting close, your legs folded towards each other, she placed a hand on your thigh and rubbed you gently. 

You nodded. “It’s been overwhelming,” you conceded.

Wanda’s eyes lifted towards yours as she took a bite of a strawberry. She smiled sympathetically, and her eyes catching onto yours made your breath catch in your throat. “You’re much too young for that kind of workload, honey,” she said.

Sometimes you thought about the times you spent with Wanda when you were deep in your studies or during lectures or while commuting to and from campus. But it was near impossible. The thought of Wanda didn’t belong at school or where you were feeling older and more mature. The woman Wanda was for you didn’t belong anywhere but right here — the person you were with Wanda came to life only here.

“How young…?” you asked shyly, hesitantly looking up at her from your lap. 

Wanda placed a supportive hand on your knee. “Much younger than me, sweetheart…” she answered, her expression feigning sympathy though the shifting beneath her dress gave her away.

“Ah… I…” you stuttered, different sides of you tugging at each other. A tension deep in your chest knotted and your cheeks felt flushed. Your arms felt too far from your body, so you closed them against your torso a little. 

She squeezed your knee and retracted her hand, leaning back against the arm rest behind her, feeling either intrigued or pleased, or both. She readjusted herself, crossing her leg over the other. “Tell me more about how school’s been, baby.” 

“U-Um…”

You shifted, sitting up and getting your thoughts in order. Your hands balled into fists by your hips for a moment as you adjusted yourself. 

“You’re right — I’m nearing my exams…” you started, looking at her. You felt like reaching for a carrot to keep your hands occupied, but felt somewhat confined in your seat, as if set into an invisible box. “Right now, I’ve been trying to finish my final assignments before the exam period starts.”

“I see,” Wanda replied. Your eyes darted down to her fingers that were gently tapping against her thigh before you looked back up to her. “That must be very hard, Y/N… It sounds like far too much to think about all at once.”

There was a condescending lilt to her voice, speaking not only as someone who viewed you as younger, but someone who was also somewhat incapable of being on their own.

Swallowing, you nodded, feeling your voice getting smaller though you couldn’t tell if it was all in your head. “It is hard to keep up with all of it.”

Inhaling as she leaned forward in her seat and straightening her back, Wanda said, “Not at all something for a little girl like you.”

Your chest tightened and your thighs clenched together instinctually. When your expression wavered, she met your eyes without moving her focus away from yours. Wanda smiled warmly, always behind her veil of being the supportive, sympathetic older woman. 

Perhaps your instinctive reaction was the only response she needed, for Wanda adjusted her position again, letting her leg down and crossing her other leg over it. Her thumb rubbed side to side against her thigh, as if she were pacing herself. 

Wanda’s movements were always so natural. She was older and accomplished and far more experienced than you in everything, and everything she did always seemed so calculated and put together. So when the side of her foot brushed against your ankle, you bristled at the contact. 

Occasionally you and Wanda would have some extra time with each other after you babysat. She would come home stressed and needing relief, and clear about wanting your company. Wanda wasn’t always so held together as she was today — sometimes she was desperate, wanting you. 

Other times, she liked to tease you out when she knew it had been a while. 

She eyed the plate between the two of you so quickly that you couldn’t follow her gaze before she spoke again, and suddenly her eyes were back on you.

“I know I always thank you for babysitting, but I haven’t thanked you enough for being here whenever I need you,” Wanda said. “It’s been so chaotic with the divorce and trying to figure things out with work, and you’ve been such a great help.”

You opened your mouth to speak, eager to tell Wanda how much you looked forward to babysitting, and how much it’s been helping you too. But she started speaking again, leaning forward and placing her hands in her lap.

“You know, sweetheart…” Wanda placed her hand down on your forearm. “I’ve always thought you were such a good, obedient girl.” Her voice sounded lower, and her eyes darkened, zoned in on you as a predator would.

How long has it been since you spoke last?

“I do hope you don’t think poorly of me, baby… What, taking you out to my backyard just to have you all for myself, as if I were in need of your babysitting.” Wanda laughed, her hand squeezing your forearm playfully.

You felt yourself laughing too, but your mind felt long gone; you felt dependent on Wanda just to feel comforted. 

There was a light buzzing in your head, and the breeze of the darkening evening cooled your cheeks. You felt you couldn’t do anything without Wanda, so smart and beautiful, so much older than you and so much more experienced and knowledgeable than you in everything.

You hoped desperately she wouldn’t let go of your arm.

“I don’t think poorly of you at all,” you responded. 

Wanda smiled, pleased by your response. Her hand began to slowly rub your forearm. “No, and that wouldn’t make sense, would it, for you to look after me?” She seemed to look at you expectantly, though you could’ve been imagining it, so you shook your head.

“You’re much too young for that, sweetheart — too little,” she said.

A flood of desperation rushed through your chest, and when you exhaled through your nose, you heard yourself whimper quietly.

The first time you slept with Wanda, you couldn’t fathom ever leaving her, going back to your place to study and commute or do anything on your own ever again. Wanda made you feel so small, so dependent. She let you leave everything you wanted to escape from at the door.

With gentle hands, she would touch your body like it were something born anew, your skin feeling warmer and softer, not belonging to whoever it was that lived and worked and studied alone. With Wanda, your mind was fuzzy, and little, and dependent on her care. 

You couldn’t possibly fit this kind of feeling within the short timeframe of freedom the two of you only sometimes had from the lives you lived away from each other. It was rare to be free at all, and much less for this kind of time to align. So Wanda took her time, for she loved to see you get smaller, see the timidity wash over you, pamper you in her care, watch as you melted away from everything that existed apart from her.

Wanda’s hand lifted from your forearm, reaching over to take hold of your chin gently. “Are you gonna let me take care of you, sweetheart?”

“Y-Yes,” you replied as quickly as you could. “I’m…”

A good girl, you wanted to say.

While still holding your chin, Wanda brought a strawberry to your mouth with her other hand. Obediently, you wrapped your lips around it and took a bite. 

“Are you gonna be a good girl for mama…?” she asked, her voice quiet as she focused on your lips wrapped around the strawberry, its reddish-pink juices peeking from the edges of your mouth.

Mama…

You felt your body buzz when Wanda finally used the term; you found you couldn’t say it on your own first, and needed Wanda’s help. You felt yourself beginning to need her help for everything.

Her eyes flickered up to yours and you nodded, leaning your head forward and taking another bite of it, your lips grazing the tips of Wanda’s fingers when you then took the rest of the sliced strawberry into your mouth.

Wanda gathered its sweet juice from the corners of your mouth with her thumb and slid it into your mouth, your lips wrapping around her finger. You sucked softly at it, eliciting a pleased hum from her. 

“Why don’t we go inside, honey?” Wanda said, carefully pulling her thumb out of your mouth. “Are you getting cold?”

You nodded and Wanda took your hand, carrying the platter with her other as the two of you went back inside. You huddled against her side and Wanda wrapped her arm around your shoulders before kissing your forehead.

Wanda took you into the living room after setting the plate down in the kitchen. With her hands on your hips, she brought you onto her lap. Her arms circled you and you buried your face in her neck.

“Have you been having a hard time at school, sweetheart?” Wanda asked softly, her hand rubbing your back soothingly. She felt you nod into the crook of her neck. “You need mommy to make you feel better, hm?”

When she felt you nod again, she tucked her hands under your shirt, rubbing her warm palms up your sides. You squirmed in her lap and Wanda chuckled against the side of your head.

“I missed my little girl so much,” Wanda said, kissing your cheek over and over until she made her way to the corner of your lips. You turned your head, allowing Wanda to meet your lips with hers. 

“You’re so sweet, baby…” she muttered against you, one of her hands coming to the side of your face as she kissed you. 

You whined and wrapped your arms around her neck. “I missed mama…”

Wanda hummed and her hands moved further up your shirt, her palms now running against your rib cage until her thumbs met with the sides of your breasts. She began pressing soft kisses down your neck when you lifted your head.

“I love having you to myself, honey…” she muttered, her hands rounding your body to unclip your bra. “You don’t know how much mama loves playing with her little girl.” Her lips suckled softly at your neck, her warm hands cupping your breasts and kneading them gently.

You were a mess of whimpers and whines, your back arching and pressing your chest into her hands to which Wanda responded by rolling your nipples between her thumbs and index fingers. 

Seemingly having grown impatient, Wanda stood up carefully so you had enough time to slide off her lap. As you stood, she helped you take your bra off beneath your shirt, dropping it to your feet. “Come upstairs,” she told you, taking your hand and heading up with you.

You cuddled back against her side again. 

“I really missed you,” you said, looking up at her. 

“Me too, sweetheart,” Wanda said, smiling down at you.

It wasn’t only your age that made you feel so little with Wanda. She spoke to you so gently and touched you so carefully. Your mommy was so beautiful — how she dressed, how she did her hair, her eyes, her nose, her soft lips. 

All you wanted to do with Wanda was be taken care of, and she loved to take care of you.

Upstairs, Wanda had her hands all over you, undoing your pants while you unclipped her hair, then running her hands up your sides and pulling your shirt over your head.

“My sweet little girl…” she muttered into your neck, kissing you softly. “Do you like when mommy touches you like this?” 

“Uh-huh… I like it, mommy,” you replied, whining softly when Wanda’s hands wrapped around your waist, carefully leading you backwards onto the bed.

She climbed on top of you. Her long hair blanketed over your shoulders as she kissed down your breasts. She took your nipples into her mouth one after the other and groaned at the feeling of the stiff buds against her tongue.

When your hips bucked up slightly at the feeling of tension building between your thighs, Wanda reached her hand down and rubbed you through your underwear.

She lifted her head from your breasts and looked down at you, her hair looking a bit disheveled and a small grin on her lips as she watched you writhe beneath her. Her fingers drew slow circles against your clothed pussy.

“You wouldn’t tell anyone about this, right, baby?” she asked, slightly breathless. “That mommy touches you like this?”

You shook your head adamantly. 

“Are you sure?”

You nodded, lolling your head to the side so you could brush your cheek against Wanda’s hair that acted like a curtain down the side of your head as she looked down at you.

In a voice that was low, like a soft purr as she spoke, Wanda said, “Only very special mommies touch their little girls like this, sweetheart…”

You reached up, wrapping your arms around her waist. Wanda lowered herself so her hip pressed against yours, her elbow holding herself up so she could stroke the top of your head lovingly.

“I don’t wanna stop playing with mommy…” you whimpered, looking up at her pleadingly.

“This can be our secret, honey,” she replied before leaning down and kissing you softly. “We wouldn’t want anyone else to know how sweet and little my baby really is.”

When your hand came up to your breast, squeezing it softly beyond her dress, Wanda parted from your lips to moan softly. 

“Does mama’s sweet little girl wanna touch?” she asked, her hand moving up from between your thighs to keep your hand in place, guiding you into kneading her breast softly.

When you nodded, she asked, “Do you want mama to take her clothes off?”

“Please, mommy.”

“Honey, you’re so well-mannered,” Wanda cooed, kissing your forehead before sliding off the bed and standing beside you, unzipping the side of her dress slowly as you watched. She put on a show for you, pushing her hair back and letting her dress’ strap slowly slip off her shoulders.

Long hair spilled down her back as Wanda turned, peering at you from over her shoulder as her dress spilled down around her ankles, leaving her in black underwear and her brown turtleneck.

Your eyes ran up the curve of Wanda’s ass, to the arch in her back, then back down to the way her hair spilled down her back and her long, smooth legs.

Sitting up onto your knees and leaning back on your heels, you reached out for Wanda, wrapping your arms around her waist. Wanda laughed as she stumbled back against you. She looked down at you as you rubbed your cheek against her upper arm. 

“Are you going to help mommy take her shirt off?” she asked softly, rubbing your forearms that were covering her stomach.

You nodded, finding the hem of her shirt and carefully lifting it up.

“That’s good, baby…” Wanda cooed, helping you the rest of the way until she was only in her underwear. She turned, climbing on top of you again and meeting your lips. 

With her lips on your neck, Wanda tugged your panties down, and you instinctively spread your legs when she dropped them off the edge of the bed. 

“My sweet babygirl…” she murmured against your warm skin, her hands finding your inner thighs and spreading your legs further apart. 

When you looked down, Wanda was looking up at you, green eyes focused on your helpless expression from beyond her mess of hair that curtained the sides of her face. Her lips were parted enough for you to hear her soft pants. The tip of pink of her tongue rested against the bottom row of her teeth. 

The sight made your breath catch and your chest constrict in a way that you had to take an extra breath to give yourself air. 

“Your nipples are so cute,” Wande cooed, and you watched as her lips wrapped around one of your buds, eliciting a groan from you as you arched your back.

“So sensitive,” she muttered when she switched to the other one. 

Meanwhile, her hand circled the space between your hips, the heel of her palm pressing against your lower stomach. Her middle and ring finger traced the hood of your clit. 

“Mommy,” you whined, bucking your hips up. 

Wanda pressed her hand down and lifted her fingers from your pussy so you didn’t nudge your clit against them. “You’re just a sweet little girl, Y/N — do you think you know better than mama?” she asked after parting from your nipple then looking up at you. 

You shook your head. 

“No…” she whispered with a soft adoring smile. “My baby is too young to know better than me.”

Looking up at her shyly, you asked, “Is mama going to take advantage of me…?”

Wanda laughed, both at your evident dedication and arousal at the fantasy you were playing out, and at how sweet you were when you asked her. 

“Well, now, honey, it’s not taking advantage when you’re my little girl, is it?” she replied.

You giggled a little and shook your head. 

She moved up from your breasts and kissed your jaw, and finally her fingers met with your wet folds, sticky and warm against her cool fingers. 

With slow motions of two fingers, Wanda moved up and down against your wet cunt, pressing against your hole and meeting your clit before rubbing back down. The wet noises from your parted pussy made you shiver, and Wanda kept her lips close to your neck so she could hear you writhe and whimper. 

“I love having you like this,” she said. A soft groan of appreciation came from her when you wrapped your arms around her waist and held her close. 

You felt so fluid, so out of control. 

You felt yourself stretch to the size of Wanda’s finger, and she lifted her head to watch as your eyebrows furrowed together. 

“So little, baby…” she murmured, in awe as you grasped at her, moaning at the way she moved in and out of you. The pad of her middle digit curled softly and applied pressure as she fingered you. “So dependent on mama. You don’t know how to do a single thing on your own, do you?”

You shook your head adamantly. When you opened your mouth to reply, Wanda slid a second finger in, and a low cry was pulled out of you in place of your words. 

“Can you feel how your tight little pussy stretches out for mommy?” Wanda asked, looking down at you with a smug expression. “How much your tiny little hole loves mommy’s fingers?”

She groaned softly as you whimpered, and you could feel Wanda squeezing her thighs together, the lower half of her body squirming and readjusting itself as her fingers gained speed now that she had two inside of you. 

“You’re so young, honey. Do you even know what I’m doing to you?” she teased, evidently savouring in the fantasy of taking advantage of a sweet little girl. “You don’t know when to tell mama ‘no.’”

Fingers curled inside of you, rubbing upwards against you as she entered and slid out of you. She kept her hand pressed against your body so the top of her palm rubbed against your clit. Wanda knew how you liked getting fingered — she didn’t move her fingers on their own, but her entire hand, so she rubbed against your pussy each time she moved in and out of your cunt.

“It’s okay that mommy touches you like this, right, baby?”

“It- Ah!” Your words were interrupted when Wanda curled inside of you in a particularly pleasing arch. You swallowed and tried to speak again. “It’s okay, mama, I-”

When Wanda buried her face in the crook of your neck again, sucking at your neck softly, she said, “So little and wet for me… Letting mama touch your special parts.”

You grasped at the blanket below you to keep yourself from gripping Wanda too harshly and hurting her as you felt yourself inch closer to orgasm. Your other arm squeezed around her waist. 

“Oh, honey, are you gonna come?” she cooed, looking down at you with such admiration. “My babygirl’s sweet little pussy is getting so tight…”

Nodding, you buried your face in Wanda’s neck, whining and just feeling her soft hair against your cheek. “Mhm… I’m gonna come, mama…” you murmured. 

“Come for mommy, baby. That’s right, honey…” Wanda cooed, kissing your cheek and your temple. She stroked your hair with her other hand as you whimpered helplessly like the tiny little girl you were. “Come on mommy’s fingers, sweetheart.”

Wanda groaned at the feeling of your pussy squeezing her fingers as you came. You parted from her neck as your back arched and your head laid back against the pillow. She looked down, watching your little thighs tremble. 

She carefully pulled out of your pulsing pussy, her moan of appreciation reaching your ears as she laid her eyes on her sticky fingers, coated in her sweet little girl’s cum. 

“You wanna suckle, my baby…?” Wanda asked, looking down at your tired little body. She kissed your forehead when you nodded and you cuddled close to her chest. “Fingers first, honey. Open up.”

Your lips parted and your eyes opened in time to see how coated her fingers were before she slid them into your mouth, laying them against your tongue. 

She pet the top of your head soothingly as she watched your lips move around her fingers while you sucked them. Your tongue slid between and around them, and Wanda smiled down at you adoringly. 

“Your pussy always tastes so nice and sweet, baby. Good girl, licking it off of mama.” She kissed your cheek over and over then slipped your fingers out of your mouth. 

Wanda lifted your head and adjusted your body so you could suckle from her. She caressed the side of your face and brought her stiff nipple to your lips. She closed her eyes and let out a soft moan when you latched onto her and sucked softly. 

“That’s good…” She looked down at you, continuing to stroke the side of your head. “Mmm…” 

You loved doing this with Wanda. She looked so beautiful when she looked down at you, and she regarded you so warmly, making you feel so taken care of. She would hold you in her arms like this while you soothed yourself with her nipple, and the look of pleasure on her face made you feel so special. 

She let out a little gasp as the tip of your tongue came out and teased at her bud, and Wanda brought your head closer to her breast, her head thrown back slightly as you flicked and rubbed your tongue against her. 

You looked up at her innocently, watching as your mama moaned above you. Her thighs rubbed together at the corner of your eye, and she reached a hand down and pulled her underwear off. She brought her hand up to tease at her other nipple, her finger flicking at it then rolling it between her fingers. 

She pulled you off her breast carefully. 

“Okay, baby…” she spoke, slightly breathless. “Now the other one.” She adjusted the two of you slightly and brought your lips to her nipple again. 

“Ah… Mmm, good girl…” Wanda cooed when you immediately latched onto her. “Such a soft tongue my little girl has.” She looked down at you, holding eye contact as you suckled from her. 

She carefully took your hand, interlacing her fingers with yours as you continued, feeling your heart rate go down, your body practically melting into Wanda’s arms and her soft bed sheets. 

From the corner of your eye, you could see Wanda’s legs spread slightly, and she brought your hand down between her thighs. She let go of your hand and guided your fingers to her pussy. 

“You make mommy feel so excited, honey,” she purred before the pads of your fingers met with her warm folds that you all but slipped through with how wet she was. She guided your fingers up and down her pussy, her hips rolling forward and back ever so slightly. “You and your sweet little mouth…”

Her thumb ran against your bottom lip gently, then, with her hand, carefully removed her nipple from your mouth. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to your lips.

When you pushed your fingers through her labia and pressed against her opening, you felt Wanda’s warm breath exhale against your lips as she moaned. You rubbed circles against her wet opening, feeling it clench against the pads of your fingers. 

“I need your mouth, honey,” Wanda said, her voice sounding low and raspy. “Are you going to be a good girl and give mommy your tongue?”

“Am I going to make mommy feel good too?” you asked, looking up at her. 

Wanda smiled down at you and stroked your cheek with her thumb. “That’s right, sweetheart. You’re going to make mama feel really good… But you need to follow my instructions, because only special girls can do this for their mamas.”

You nodded obediently. “Okay, mama. I can do it. I’m a special girl,” you told her, feeling determined.

She kissed your lips softly then got onto her back, helping you up and slowly leading you downwards. “That’s a good girl…” she said, slightly breathless. 

As you descended, you laid your eyes on Wanda’s pussy, her thighs laying on your shoulders, spread open for you. You could smell her arousal and you recalled how her taste differed from your own. You felt yourself begin to salivate. 

“Open your mouth, sweetheart. Let me see your tongue,” she instructed. Her hand came to the back of your head, leading you closer to her. 

When your little pink tongue stuck out, Wanda brought your head a bit closer, and you ran your tongue through her slit, parting soft sticky folds. The tip of your tongue poked at her opening when you licked her, making Wanda whimper softly. 

You looked up at her shyly when you went in for another lick, her flavour spreading across your tongue. 

“You’re doing so good, honey… Just like that,” she encouraged.

At the sight of her above you, her hips twitchrd upwards as her back began to arch slightly. You pushed your head further between her thighs and wrapped your lips around her pussy. Your tongue dipped through her soft folds and pressed against her opening, running up to brush against her clit. 

Wanda’s hand tightened your hair into a ball at the back of your head and secured your face against her cunt. Her head fell back and she let out a long relieved moan. Her thighs adjusted atop of your shoulders and they squeezed against the side of your head. 

“Mama needs this, baby. Good girl,” she encouraged as you lapped at her. 

Your tongue smoothed out and steadied, lapping at her rhythmically. She listened to your wet lapping against her and the soft slurps from your lips.

“Eat mama’s pussy just like that… So sweet and slow,” she cooed, rubbing the pads of her fingers against the back of your head. 

Above you, Wanda was beginning to turn into a mess of whimpers, her eyes squeezed shut and her hair curling against her damp forehead. 

“Oh, fuck, babygirl… You’re making me feel so…” Her head lolled to the side and a sharp whimper passed her parted lips. Her hips began rolling against your mouth, and you stiffened your tongue, nudging it up only slightly when you wanted to press against her clit. 

Otherwise, she rolled herself against your stiffened tongue so it pushed through her folds and against her opening, then back up to graze her clit. 

“Ah, yeah, baby,” Wanda panted out between breaths, her other hand coming down to take hold of your hair. “I’m gonna come, sweetheart…”

Her thighs squeezed around your head, her ankles linked behind your back with her heel digging against your lower spine. Her back arched and her head was thrown back, her hair dropping from around her shoulders to her sheets. Her collarbone and soft neck were revealed, flushed a subtle pink from how warm her body was. 

Wanda always made you feel so special when you ate her out, the way she spread her legs for you and praised you for how well you were doing. You were special and did such a good job just for being you. 

It wasn’t scary to be with Wanda or in trying to make her feel good; she loved spending time with you and being touched by you. Everything you did with her was enough — you were never less than, never failing, never out of place. 

With Wanda, you always belonged, and she took care of you no matter what state you felt you were in when you finally found time together. 

Her body relaxed, her back meeting the sheets as she exhaled with a huff. Her thighs relaxed from around your head and you could hear how she was panting. 

“Oh, honey…” she groaned tiredly. She slid her legs from your shoulders and looked down at you with a hazy smile. You felt your heart pick up its pace at the sight of her, a tenderness spreading down your chest and into your stomach like warm maple syrup.

She reached down and pushed the hair from your face with the tip of her middle and ring fingers, admiring your innocent little face, glistening from the mouth down. 

“Come up so mama can give you some kisses,” she said. She cupped your cheek and kept it there as you crawled up her body and nestled yourself against her.

You turned your back to her so she could hold you from behind, and Wanda immediately wrapped her arms around you and kissed your neck before taking a deep inhale. 

“Mama…” you giggled. Your knees came up to your stomach so you could wiggle around in a ball as mommy tickled your side and gave you plenty of pecks. 

“Oh, honey, you are the sweetest…”

Peck. 

“Smartest…”

Peck. Peck. 

“Most amazing little girl in the whole entire world.”

You kicked your feet a little as Wanda’s kisses tickled your neck while her fingers tickled your side, eliciting a flurry of giggles from you. 

“Silly girl. You have a sticky face,” she said, stopping her tickles to wipe your face with her hand. She then lifted herself onto her elbow to reach down and kiss your lips. 

You quickly turned in her arms and buried your face in her chest. Wanda looked down the bed to gather her sheets and brought them up to your shoulders.

“You are so special, my sweetest little angel…” Wanda murmured against your ear and rubbing your back. 

Tears inexplicably sprung in your eyes at the care she was giving you, and you couldn’t help but let out a whimper. 

Wanda just kept rubbing your back and kissing your head and temple occasionally. She went into more detail of how work and the divorce had been going, just so you could listen and not have to talk about yourself; she knew school had you feeling a little overwhelmed, and that you were such a good listener. 

When you seemed more laidback, and your responses had turned into little hums of affirmations, Wanda asked you, “Have you been doing alright lately, sweetheart?”

“I’ve just been really overwhelmed and tired,” you answered, not feeling pressured or upset in sharing how you’ve been. Before, it was hard, reminding you only of all your problems, and now, you were simply… talking to Wanda.

It was just Wanda, like it always was when you were together. 

“It suddenly caught up to me. I realized that all I’ve been doing is studying and eating on campus to study during meals, then going home right after, and waking up to study all over again.”

Wanda kissed your forehead. “It must be hard, baby. You’ve been working so hard…”

You nodded. “I really want all of this to be over,” you muttered into her chest, feeling more resigned than miserable. 

“I know. Soon, honey.”

Since neither of you had dinner, you spent a few minutes in bed discussing what to eat and getting occasionally distracted when Wanda kept teasing you — she knew all too well how ticklish you were, and she truly couldn’t help herself. 

You and Wanda decided on ordering takeout because you wanted Chinese food and she wasn’t any good at making it. Back up in the bedroom after the food arrived, you and Wanda had dinner with a movie playing on her laptop. 

Wrapped up in her clothes, you savoured the feeling of being with her — not needing to be or do anything but share dinner with her while leaning against her shoulder. 

“Are you feeling better?” she asked, looking down at you with a gentle smile. 

You looked up and met her eyes, nodding. 

“I feel much better,” you said. 

She kissed the top of your head, and everything else besides just you and Wanda melted away for a while. 

[karikitdemonrp]

Kari listened to Denki, feeling a warmth in her chest. A sort of hope growing. She giggled softly at the boop to her nose and gave a nod. "Yeh... Guess I'm not alone... I've got my family, old and new, and my friends here and then some." She informed softly and snorted.

"You'd have liked my twin brothers, Boom and Beats. They had a similar quirk to yours, and a similar personality too. Well, kinda similar personality and their quirk had electricity elements to it but also wind and sound. I think it was a quirk made from mixing other quirks or something. Anyway, I really think that if they were here you three would've gotten along really well." She chirped softly and let out a sigh.

Her gaze held a bitter sweet shimmer for a moment as she stared off in a random direction. "I still miss them a lot... I know I haven't told you about what happened and I've gone through a lot today already so I'd rather not explain it all right now..." Kari took a deep breath, letting out any weight that tightened her chest as she exhaled, and looked back up at Denki. That shimmer in her eyes now a bit more hopeful

"But I'll tell you like I did with Papa, Tamaki, and Kirishima when I'm okay. I want you to know too. I want everyone in 1A to know eventually. You've all kinda become like a second family to me in a way since you'd be interning at different hero agencies while I'd stay there." Kari gave a giggle at some fond memories then yawned, stretching her arms and legs out a bit only to flinch slightly in pain since her limbs were still sore. But she didn't cause damage, thankfully, just upset her sore muscles.

The child nuzzled into Denki a bit after that stretch and shrugged. "I'm not picky honestly. I was on the street for a while and had to eat anything to survive so I think my taste buds are used to bad tasting stuff." She replied. "I just hope he comes back soon cuz I'm gettin' tired... I wanna eat before I pass out." She muttered, yawning again. "But... If I do pass out please wake me up when he gets back cuz I need the food." She muttered, curling up a bit more to get comfortable but fighting to stay awake. "And if I fall asleep after eating then wake me up when Papa gets here... I... I wanna give him a big hug too... And just see that he's okay as soon as possible." The child pleaded, still trying to fight off sleep.

Denki leaned into the moment, resting his cheek gently against Kari’s head as she spoke. His voice stayed warm and soft, just above a whisper.

“Yeah… I get that,” he murmured. “It’s not fair. You didn’t ask to be born into all this chaos, and you definitely didn’t ask to carry the weight of everyone else’s mistakes. But even with all that, you’re still here. Still trying to do good. That says a lot about who you are, Kari.”

He paused, letting her words sink in. His grin returned when she poked his cheek, and he gently booped her back on the nose with a chuckle.

“And hey,” Denki added, his tone lifting a bit, “I think it’s actually kinda amazing that you carry all of us with you like that. I mean, yeah—it’s a lot. But it also means you're never really alone. You’ve got a whole crew in that quirk of yours.” He gave a wink. “Plus, my electricity? That’s pretty dope if you ask me.”

Denki’s gaze softened again as he glanced at the feather she clutched and the look on her face. “He’s Hawks.” he said firmly but gently. “He’s smart, he’s fast, and he’s got a reason to come back safe—you.”

He tightened his arm around her protectively. “We’ll get you home soon. You’ll both be safe. And until then, I’m not going anywhere, alright? I got you.” Then, with a small grin, he added, “Now let’s just hope Shinso doesn’t come back with some gross flavored juice, ‘cause I’m not letting you suffer through that.”

[ginumo]

hiii do you have an explanation for your isat au? the art is rly cool but i have no idea whats going on 😅

OH DONT WORRY i am VERY prone to not elaborating on my aus through text and only doing so through art. youre not the first person that's come up to me with this question, something like this actually happened while i was in the omori fandom BAHAHAHA

OKAY but this time i'm going to elaborate on what i can to provide some context without spoiling it too much because i STILL have some things i want to keep secret, sorty 🥲

SO. first off. What Did You Wish For is a 3Hats AU. I've seen people ask if Time is meant to be comicfrin, but it's actually ISATfrin having Looped himself.

The AU had actually started off with one question, that being "what if Siffrin successfully looped back during the Bigfrin fight", and then it. kinda just spiraled from there. That one Act 5 comic is actually for the start of the AU, and how ISATfrin ends up Looping themself! I just haven't quite gotten to the actual canon-divergent part of the fight SNRK. BUT I DO PLAN ON GETTING THERE EVENTUALLY

So, once Time adjusts to its current predicament, it has no other option but to assist WDYWFfrin (who i've been calling Wishfrin for simplicity's sake), but considering that this is Act 5 Siffrin that we're talking about it is Not all that helpful. Neither is Loop, really.

I do have a couple of events planned that i Really wanna put down in dialogue or comic form, such as Time's hangout, what we've been calling Timequest, and a little slip up from the two guides. There's still a lot i want to set in stone, so that's about all you're getting right now!

So, with all of that said,

[eddiemunsonsbabygirl]

Wanna Be Yours ~ 💋

Summary: Y/N had been dodging Eddie for a couple of weeks and today was the day that he couldn’t take it any longer. Warnings: SMUT 18+, angst, hurt/comfort, slow burn, best friends to lovers, pinning, use of Y/N, she/her pronouns, their genitalia is described kinda, edging kinda, reader is curvy and all natural, she calls him “bebé” (baby in Spanish), yearning, kinda dumbed out Eddie bc holy shiiiiitttt, they can’t shut up for shit, protected piv, they are cry babies, think that’s it! Let me know if I missed anything!

A/N: FINALLY I FINISHED IT! HERE IT IS! PLS COMMENT AND REBLOG IT WOULD MAKE ME SO HAPPYYYYY I HOPE YOU LOVE IT! Had to take many breaks but I think that’s just a me problem lol! Tysm for waiting 🖤❤️

Love… oh love… a feeling that can both make you feel on top of the world or kill you…

That’s how they both felt. Being best friends with someone like them since kindergarten. Growing up together, both getting into trouble, living the same lives. At first, it was platonic love. I love you’s were normal. Holding hand was a must. Cuddling was for comfort. Still is. But now, as they grew, it slowly held more meaning. During middle school, it was a small crush. But the small crush turned into falling in love. When the hormones and puberty started to kick it, the more they felt it. Love. Hell, even lust. 

They both slowly saw each other in different lights. Whether it was a bright, ethereal light that made the other look like they came from Heaven. Or maybe, a deep, sensual, red light that made them arousingly intimidating. They’d never admit it aloud. They couldn’t, right? It’s ruin what they had built for years. The memories might end if someone made a move. They were both scared. This feared them the most. Worst than any other nightmare they’ve ever had. Because it wasn’t just a best friend, it was more. It was the only person they could come to. The only person that could see them in a vulnerable state. The only one that could make them laugh till they pissed themselves. The only one that really got them. The only one that would ever understand who they were as a human.

Eddie loved her to death. He did everything for her, even if it was just little things that may have not mattered. He was obsessed with her. Not in a way that was creepy. He obsessed over her like she was a religion. A Goddess. A Queen. A Lioness. A woman of high power. She was fragile in a way. Like a volcano. If he made her explode, he’d punish himself for doing so. If he ever ticked her off in a way she didn’t like, he’d scold himself. Because he didn’t want to lose her. Never. He’d feel so empty if he did. So he stuck to admiring, pinning, yearning, obsessing in silence. As quietly as he could.

Y/N did the same. She loved him like air. It was so easy to love him. She swore he was God’s favorite from how handsome he looked. In her eyes, he was a man of high power. A King. A Lion. A man who knew he was the shit. Because he was. When he doubts himself, she switches it. Makes him believe in himself. Even if he didn’t believe it all the way, she’d make sure he heard every word. He was fragile in a different way than she was. Like a storm. If she angered him, she’d back away. If she did anything he didn’t like, she’d mentally abuse herself. Was she dramatic? Yeah. But so was he. Both big overthinkers. They couldn’t help it. Because it wasn’t just anyone, it was them. 

And while they didn’t notice, everyone else did. The more they grew, the more it was obvious. The more deeper the glares were. The more harsh the insults were. Everyone could see it. Eddie’s friends, they thought they were a married couple. Y/N’s family, oh how annoying it was. Annoyingly endearing. Everyone but them could see that they weren’t just best friends. They were more. They were soulmates, a forever duo, perfect puzzle pieces, two people meant to be. They were made for each other. Sculpted perfectly in delicate hands. They were made from a blueprint. That’s how perfect they were for each other. 

Here was the kicker, they also didn’t do love. Mainly Y/N. She didn’t give a shit about it. It was cheesy, corny, an easy target. It made people weak, pathetic, vulnerable and easily sensitive. Hearts break the fastest. Love plants a seed and the tree will kill you slowly. She didn’t understand love songs. She didn’t understand the poems. She didn’t think she fucked with it. But when it came to Eddie? She was suddenly Shakespeare. She was a singer that sang her heart out to the love songs she used to roll her eyes and gag at. She’d catch herself drawing Eddie. She’d realize she’s writing about Eddie in her journal. At first, she hated it. Ripped the pages out and tossed it in the trash. But now, she lets it stay in her notebook. Let it be it’s own piece. And she let it stay hidden. So now, her view, it changed. Not all the way, but enough for Eddie.

Eddie felt the same. He laughed mockingly at the thought of love. He swore he’d die alone. He thought he knew he wouldn’t be in love. But then there was Y/N. And everything changed. His band used to be strictly about one thing. Now, some of it was about love. He’d giggle to himself when he wrote a song about her. He’d blush when he sang the words aloud. It was goofy and silly. But unlike Y/N, he didn’t mind all that much. It was second nature for him. It was a nightmare for Y/N.

And the more years passed by, the more this love feeling hurt. The more they yearned for each other. A slow burn that pained them more than anything. They needed each other like someone with asthma needed air. And now, both in their crit 20’s, they couldn’t take it anymore. 

MAY 14th, 1986

It was like any other day in Hawkins, Indiana. A school day. A boring Wednesday that would turn into a very intense Wednesday. Like every other day, Eddie pulled up to the gate of Y/N’s trailer with metal music on low. He held a cigarette to his lips as he waited for her to soon come out. And soon she did. But, for the past couple of weeks, she looked more tired than usual. More… upset. Which wasn’t normal at all for her since she was always a giggly, optimistic, laid-back girl. Not… this moody, gloomy, tired girl. She said she was fine and that things had been rough with her family. But it was a lie. Eddie knew, but decided to not say anything about it. Stupid, but he’d rather not piss her off or snap at her. That was the last thing he wanted to do.

She was in her usual baggy clothes but she had no cool accessories like she usually did. She slowly walked her way to the gate and unlocked it before stepping out and locking it back up. Her head hung low as she walked to his van and hopped in, tossing her backpack by her feet after she sat down. She shut the door and buckled herself in, not saying a word and not looking at him. Her eyes were a bit puffy, a bit red, and half-lidded. Easily could tell that she had cried. Her hands rested in her lap and she picked at her cuticles. Usually, Eddie would slip his hand in hers to stop her. But, he didn’t. He didn’t do that for the past week. He didn’t bother.

He didn’t drive off yet, just stared at her. Concerned, worried, but also angry and upset. Angry was the primary one. His brows were furrowed, the cigarette burned between his lips, his left hand gripped the steering wheel tight. What was wrong with her? Why did she changed out of the blue? Did I do something wrong? Did someone hurt her? Was it really her family causing her to break?

But if it was her family, she’d tell him. She always did. 

“Hey…” he spoke up, breaking the silence. She glanced up at him, letting her eyes locked with his for a few moment before looking back down at her hands.

“Hey…” she murmured in response. That was all he was getting out of her.

His hand tightened around the steering wheel and his nostrils flared a bit. He wanted her to talk more. To let him in. He wanted to be with her. To comfort her like he always did. But, he didn’t try and bother. He looked out the hood window and after turning the shift out of park, he began to drive off. He turned up the music louder as he drove, not caring if it was too early for that shit. He just needed to calm down. He needed to think through. He needed to process. The drive was painfully quiet. That angered him more and made him feel uncomfortable. But he didn’t want to break it. The music filled in enough for him to bare the silence. 

Y/N didn’t mind the music either, but the silence pained her just as much as it did for him. Her eyes were glued to her now bleeding cuticle, watching as the blood dried up. She reached her hand up to bite at her nails, chipping the black paint off. Some stuck to her teeth, but she was too upset to care. Her thoughts flooded her mind. Her heart pounded faster than usual. She thought of all the what if’s, scenarios she didn’t want to ever happen, if she should confess to him or not. She was quiet physically, but screaming loudly mentally. 

Once they arrived to Hawkins High and Eddie parked in his usual spot in the very back, Y/N quickly got out of his van. He watched her as she did, sighing deeply with a little growl. He hated when she did that. Like she couldn’t stand being around him. That she needed to get out or else she’d erupt. But, he didn’t say anything. And he soon followed. He stood by her side, hands tucked in the pockets of his jeans. He looked at her, trying to figure her out. She noticed and stopped in her tracks. Her eyes met his, a fire dancing in her eyes. It sort of just… stayed there now. And it scared him.

“What?” She asked, her voice firm and defensive. Again, not normal at all. Eddie will never ever get used to this upfront she has up. 

“Something’s wrong with you.” he said bluntly, his tone mirroring hers.

“Can say the same thing to you.” She retorted. Which caused Eddie to take a step forward. 

“Not in the way that you are,” he said more firmly. “Y/N, talk to me.” He wasn’t asking.

She didn’t say anything, just stared him down. But both of them knew how stubborn they were. So no one would stare down the other and win. It just stayed stuck halfway. She stared at him for longer before walking away and entering the school. Great.

He followed after her, but after entering he decided to give up and head to his locker. He was too pissed to go talk to her, so he decided to let himself cool off. 

Classes didn’t help though since they were in every class together sitting at the same exact desk or sitting right next to each other. Apparently they convinced the teachers (more like pissed them off to a point that they don’t give a shit anymore) enough to let them stay sitting next to each other. But for the past two weeks, they just sat there like regular students. And as calming as it was for the class and teachers, it was also weird. Some liked it, some didn’t. Because it just seemed so… weird. Eddie and Y/N not laughing their asses off? The Freak and the Weirdo not pissing people off together? It was very uncharacteristic. So weird that instead of the popular crowd talking shit about them, they questioned them. Wondering what had happened. 

Nothing happened. That was the thing.

Y/N drifted off in her own world that she didn’t like. She couldn’t handle it anymore. She loved him too much that it was putting her down. More than it did for Eddie, at least physically. It was a thing that just… happened. One day they were fine. The next, it was just different. And slowly, it got worse. This wasn’t working. This wasn’t helping. But they didn’t know what to do. They didn’t know what to say. They didn’t know anything. If Eddie tried to help, she’d give him a dirty look. If she tried to talk to him, her words came out harsh and he just… pushed her away. Because he didn’t like it.

The most people that were concerned was Hellfire. Especially Dustin. It was like seeing parents falling out of love. Eddie was Dustin’s kick-ass older brother and Y/N was his dope ass older sister-in-law. It was weird. Dustin bugged them about it, but they didn’t budge. Eddie would just say that she needed space, Y/N just told him it was family things. But, Dustin could easily smell bullshit. And didn’t give up. Because not only did it pain both of them, but in a way it pained him. They were his only other family. So losing them would make him upset. Eddie’s bandmates even questioned Eddie. He’d just shrugged it off. They questioned Ari, nothing came out of her. 

It wasn’t like they didn’t trust them. It just… couldn’t be said. It sounded bad aloud. It sounded stupid. So they kept it hidden. And maybe, yeah. They’d third wheel. And that’s the last thing they wanted.

Soon minutes became hours and school eventually came to an end. Eddie and Y/N drove back to her trailer to drop her off. And usually, he’d stay. But then it turned into him waving goodbye and driving off. But again, this was too much. So when she got out, unlocked the gate, and made her way inside, he shut his van off and hopped out. He jumped over the fence and ran after her. The moment she was about to shut the door, his hand stopped her from doing so. That surprised her and she opened the door a bit.

“Eddie, what’re you doing?” She asked. And before you know it, he was slipping inside, kicking the door behind him. He tossed his bag on the ground and looked at her with wide eyes, angry and so done with whatever this was.

“You’re gonna talk. I’m done with this… thing you started. I’m done pretending like I have no idea what’s wrong with you. Y/N, I know you don’t have any family issues goin’ on. You would’ve told me. Like you always did. You’re lying to me and I don’t know why. So now, you’re gonna tell me why. I gave you two fuckin’ weeks and all I’ve gotten from those two weeks was nothing but seeing you… like this. Y/N…”

He took a moment to pause, looking her up and down. His throat tightened up and his eyes grew glossy. The moment she saw his eyes well up with tears, so did hers. She stood in the middle of the living room, hands by her sides, her head hung low and her eyes locked with his. Like a sad, timid puppy. His eyes met hers and stayed there. The fire in her eyes washed away from her tears. He saw… something in her eyes. Something he couldn’t put a finger on, but his soul knew what it was. That’s why his heart began to pound faster.

“Please… talk to me. What did I do? Did I say something wrong? Did anyone hurt you? I’ll go kill them if someone did. Just say the world and I’ll do it, I swear. Am I losing you? Don’t tell me I’m losing you… please don’t. I… I’m scared, angel,” He said in a weak voice. He took a few slow steps closer to her. His hands twitched against his thighs, wanting to touch her. But he didn’t, not yet. A tear escape his eye and he tilted his head to the side. “Quit playing pretend with me… please. It’s hurting me. Don’t push me away. Never push me away. Sweetheart, talk to me.”

She stood as still as a statue. Tears fell from her eyes like waterfalls and her bottom lip quivered a little. His voice, his words, they melted her. Broke her. And before she could even think, she finally spoke what she’s been trying to not say at all. She couldn’t handle it either.

“Eddie, I’m in love with you. I love you more than just best friends. I love you for everything. All of it. I love you so much that it hurts. You’re the only guy I’ll ever love like this. I’m… I’m sorry I pushed you away. I really am. I thought… I thought it was a safe idea. But… it’s not. I feel like shit, lying to you. My family is perfectly fine. Nothing happened. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s all on me. I’m sorry for… lying. I know I never do, I promise I wouldn’t, but I thought I had to. You… you don’t know what you’re doing to me, Eddie. I… I love you… I want forever with you. More than friends. But… I’m so scared. I’m scared I’ll fuck up. I’m scared of all the shit that could happen. I… I hate feeling like this…” 

She paused as her voice broke into sobs, her body shaking. Tears fell down her face without a care. 

“I don’t do love. Never did. Not a big fan of it. But you? You make me a hopeless romantic. You make me feel weak, pathetic, so easy to target. It’s so fuckin’ stupid. But… I don’t want to stop feeling like this. Feeling so in love. So happy, being in love with you. Fuck, it hurts! It really does! I-”

She broke down in tears. And the moment she did, Eddie walked to her and smashed his lips against hers. She let out a noise of surprise, a yelp. But then it grew into soft cries. Both of them had always been secret crybabies. Whenever she cried, so did he. And he was. Tears fell down his face as he kissed her deeply. He slowly walked her back to the couch as small whimpers fell from his lips. He gently laid her down, a hand cradling the back of her head and his other resting on the small of her back. Her arms wrapped around his neck, hugging him tight and making sure he never let go of her. 

This is what they needed. This is what they wanted. This… this answered everything. Or at least most of it.

Actions spoke louder than words. His kisses, they spoke all the words she needed to know. He loved her just as much as she loved him, he needed her just as badly. He was obsessed with her. And he knew she felt the exact same way. Their cries were in sync and their tears mixed together. Both of his hands moved up to cradle her face and to kiss her more deeper. Her hands did the same, making sure he never stopped kissing her. His thumbs wiped away her tears, she did the same. Her cries were louder than his, but they both were in pain. Both of them were upset. But… they were relieved.

They didn’t have to hide anymore. This kiss confirmed it. Finally, they could have each other. At first, their kisses were slow, deep, but so very tender. But the more they kissed, the more their blood rushed. The kisses grew sloppier, more needy, more desperate, more passionate. His tongue poked out and she let out a choked sob when she felt him lap at her lips, begging for entrance. Immediately she let him in, moaning softly when their tongues met in a slow dance they had seemed to know automatically.

His knee was between her legs and he slid his leg up, making her spread her legs wider. He pressed his body weight against hers but made sure to be careful. She was so precious, he had to be gentle. Their bodies went ablaze and their soft cries turned into desperate moans. His knee nudged against her sex gently, making her gasp. Her thighs wrapped around his knee, causing him to groan. God, her thighs were like marshmallows. 

After a few more kisses, he pulled away to breathe. His eyes fluttered open and so did hers. He pressed his forehead against hers and a small smile formed on his pretty face. “I love you so goddamn much, baby. I feel the exact same way, believe me. You make me crazy, sweetheart. I love you, always and forever, babygirl.” He spoke breathlessly against her lips. He kissed her a few more times, moaning softly as he did.

“I fuckin’ need you, sweetheart. Wanna show you how much I fuckin’ love you, baby. Please… let me love you. Let me love you, baby.” He whined against her mouth. He sounded so desperate, it made her pussy clench in response. Fuck, his voice was so pretty. A soft giggle fell from her lips and she smiled a bit against his lips. 

“Please, love me. You can love me. I need you too, bebé.” She cooed between kisses. He kissed her back and gasped at her words, whining again before he went back to making out with her. His face was flushed, goddamn he was as hard as a rock. Her face was on fire, her pussy purred as loud as a lioness. And with his dick pressed against her, he could feel it. Her body shook in desire and so did his. 

As he kissed her, his hands moved from her face down to her hips, fingers hooking on the waistband of her jeans. Then he slowly moved one hand to undo the belt she wore, tossing it to the ground once it was undone. Then he unbuttoned her jeans, zipping them down immediately. And in once swift motion both the panties she wore and her jeans were pulled down below her kneecaps. She moaned softly at the breeze of the air hitting her needy cunt, her hot wet folds cooling from the air. He broke away to look down at her, gasping softly and biting his bottom lip as a small whimper fell from his lips.

She was so, fat. In the best way possible. She was hairy too, rarely shaven. Her bush was a jungle gym he’d gladly go through. His breaking grew shakier and one of his trembling hands slid up her plush thighs, stopping right near her pussy. He looked up at her with approval and when she nodded with desperation, he moved his hand between her thighs. His index and middle finger teased her folds, causing a soft gasp from her. He pushed his fingers in slowly but not in her entrance. No, he wanted to feel her hairs tickling his fingers. He moaned when he felt the strands and his fingers rested on her clit. He felt it throb and buzz against his fingertips, which made him twitch in his jeans and throb with her.

“Fuck… you’re so wet… so beautiful…” he spoke breathlessly with a slight moan. 

Her eyes met with his, vulnerable and insecurity shown in her eyes. She… didn’t think he was into that. People made fun of her sometimes because she didn’t shave. She didn’t want to. She liked how she was. But Eddie? This was beauty. She was beauty. She was his own personal Aphrodite. His eyes met hers and his gaze softened.

“Baby, you’re beautiful. Fuck, I love this pussy. I’m just touchin’ it, and my mind’s a fuckin’ blur. All natural for me? Fuck,” he praised with a soft chuckle and a warm smile. He leaned his head down and pressed a few gentle kisses to her lips. “This is all I’ve ever wanted. Way fuckin’ better than I ever imagined. And I’m gonna show you, baby. Just how perfect you are. How you’ve always been.”

If she wasn’t wet already, she was for sure now. His praises were a weak point that made her clench more. She moaned softly at his words, eyes half-lidded and her brows a bit bunched together. Before she could response, his index and middle finger trapped the bundle of nerves, her clit fitting perfect between them. He moved his fingers up and down slowly, rolling the nub between his fingers and giving her a few squeezes. Her eyes rolled back and her hips bucked into his hand. “Fuck Eddie~” she moaned deeply. Who would’ve known he was good at this? Eddie Munson was a man full of surprises. 

He was so painfully hard and he was losing control. His eyes were so dark, pupils dilated. Those sweet innocent eyes not so innocent anymore. His eyes locked with hers, watching every expression she made. The way her brows bunched together, how kiss-swollen her plump lips were, how pretty her flushed face looked, and fuck, those moans. He was almost on the edge just watching her. Pre-cum leaked from his tip, soaking a wet patch on his boxers. And the patch only grew the more he rubbed her. He sped up slowly, up and down and side to side. Her back arched against him and more moans fell from her lips. Her heart pounded heavily in her chest, ringing in her ears. He leaned down to nip at her bottom lip gently.

“Oh Eddie~.. I’m so fuckin’ close~..” she moaned, hands gripping his biceps tightly. And that was his cue. 

He pulled his fingers away and put them between his lips, his eyes fluttering and rolling back at the taste of her, a deep moan falling from his lips. He didn’t want her coming yet, he wanted to feel her first. She watched him as he sucked on his fingers, his eyes locked on hers as he licked his fingers like they were his favorite lollipop. After a moment, he got off of her and stumbled his way to his backpack. He immediately opened it up and dug in there for a condom. He was prepared for this moment, which made her giggle.

“You always keep condoms on you?” She teased as he walked back to her. He gave her thigh a gentle smack as he crawled back on top of her, chuckling with her. “For you, I do.” He admitted. It was sweet, in a way. And it made her melt. 

“You’re so sweet to me…” she praised. He leaned down and gave her a deep kiss. “Always for you, babygirl. Always.” He whispered against her lips kissing her once more before pulling away. He shuffled his way to her calves and took her shoes off to take off her jeans and pants fully, tossing them on the ground. His hands trailed up her body, slipping under the tank top and jacket she wore. Her arms moved up and he immediately took them both off in one swift motion. His hands moved behind her, unclipping her bra and tossing it away. He took a moment to admire her now fully naked body, taking her all it. She was better than the chicks in the magazines, infinitely more better. She was more than perfect, and he promised to make her know that. 

His head dipped down to kiss her neck with wet open-mouth kisses, slowly making his way down to her collarbone, and down to her chest. Each kiss was a worship, a praise. Soft sighs fell from his lips, his hot breath causing her to shiver. His lips took one of her nipples, sucking and lapping at it gently. She moaned softly and arched up in response. Her hands dug in his hair, tugging gently on his curls. That triggered an animalistic groan to fall from his lips, the sound vibrating against her skin. It made her giggle and more turned on, if that was even possible. As he made out with her tit, his hands moved down her body and to his jeans. First his belt, then his shoes, then his jacket, then his shirt, then his jeans, and lastly his boxers. Immediately her hands moved down his back and one of her hands gripped one of the soft globes, causing a soft growl to fall from his lips. One of his hands moved back to her clit to give her more attention and pleasure. 

He rubbed her clit with both his fingers again but faster this time. His mouth pops off of her tit and he rips the condom open with his teeth and free hand. He spits the wrapper out of his mouth and with one hand, he rolls the condom on. Y/N hadn’t seen his cock yet till now, looking down at him and eyes widening. A choked moan falls from her lips and she smiled a bit. “Fuck Eddie…” she moaned breathlessly.

He was huge. Really huge. Thick and long. He was fucking hard too. His mushroom tip on fire and his balls were so heavy and full. Pre-cum dripped down his dick slowly. He was so ready. And she was intimidated. She was a virgin, so was Eddie. She didn’t know what to expect, so she was scared. Her breathing hitched a bit as she stared at his cock. His eyes met with hers, his expression turning soft and vulnerable. His fingers on her clit stilled.

“What?” He asked with those big puppy eyes of his, concerned and a little worried. She looked at his face and smiled a bit. “You’re huge.” She giggled a bit, looking back down at what was about to drill in her.

Eddie’s cheeks flushed a bright red and he looked down at himself and back up at her. “Too big?” He asked, almost nervously. He knew he was big, and he didn’t want to scare her off. She immediately shook her head and giggled once more. “No… I can take it.” She assured him. His eyes widened at her words. She can take him. That made electricity jolt through him. He looked back down at himself and leaned down, hovering his face above hers. “ I know you can take it, baby. Of course you can. You were made jus’ f’me…” he smiled, pressing his lips against her. She giggled once more and kissed him back. 

He slowly moved his fingers up and down on her clit for a moment before he pulled away and wrapped his hand around his cock, giving it a few strokes. He moaned deeply as he did, his pretty eyes fluttering at the sensation. He lowers his hips down more and teased her entrance with the head of his dick, both of them moaning in sync. Then he began to smack her clit gently with his dick, grunting softly as he did. She gasped and shut her eyes, breathy moans and laughs falling from her lips. Eddie smiled and hit at his bottom lip at the sounds of her soft laughs, and he laughed with. 

After a bit of teasing, he slowly moved the head back to her entrance. His eyes met hers. “Ready?” He asked. She nodded quickly, a whine falling from her lips. 

“Remember sweet girl, tell me if something goes wrong or anything. We’re not gonna rush this. Wanna take it slow,” he purred softly, his voice hushed. “Don’t wanna hurt my pretty girl. Can’t do that at all. Wanna love you so good, make you so fuckin’ happy…”

She nodded at his words and smiled a little. He was so sweet. He was so cute. It was so stupid, but in the best and most affectionate way possible. After he got the nod, he slowly began to push in. Both gasped in sync and moaned deeply. A soft hiss fell from her lips and her nails clawed at his back. His eyes were blown wide and he looked at her with worry from the hiss she let out. He stilled, only a few inches in.

“You good babygirl?” He asked, a hand moving up to cup her cheek. She leaned in his hand and nodded, a small whimper escaping. “You’re so big~..” she moaned softly with another soft hiss. He was splitting her in half. She swore he was. Not only has she never fucked before (not even used a toy), he was HUGE. I mean I guess like they say, go big or go home. And since she was already home, she was going big. Even if it hurt. 

Eddie let her take a few moments to relax and get used to the size. But it was so hard not to start losing control. She was so perfectly tight. Her bush sent shivers up his spine. He felt so, safe. So at home. So loved. He felt so needed and wanted, because he was. She squeezed him like her life depended on it and he couldn’t help but moan like a maniac. She felt too good. He felt his balls tighten painfully, begging to move. It was almost embarrassing, the way he was already close to coming. But he can try and wait, wait for her. 

After taking a few breaths, she gave Eddie a nod and he began to thrust all the way in, causing a whine to fall from her lips and a soft laugh. “Holy shit~” she laughed softly. Her laughs only sent him more on the edge, his laugh used with soft moans. “You’re so perfect, baby~ too damn perfect…” he moaned into her ear, panting heavily like he ran a couple miles. He didn’t know if he was gonna make it, she didn’t either. 

After letting her get used to all of him, he began to pull back before slamming back in, causing loud moans to fall from their lips. Eddie bit at her bare shoulder, hands gripping her hips tight. Her hands clawed at his back, spurring his arousal even more. He panted against her skin, tongue lolling out of instinct and lapping at her skin. He was dumbed out, and all he really did was touch her. He was a goddamn mess being inside her tight pussy. It made him lose control. Not a single thought ran through his head other than Y/N and the pussy of a Goddess. 

Y/N swore she was seeing stars. He was filling her up so fully. So perfectly. Some of the pain still lingered but it slowly turned into pleasure. Her hips bucked up against him, her back arched up high, her toes curled, and the back of her head buried in the couch. Both of them had been waiting for this moment, hence why they can’t even do anything without trying not to come undone right on the spot already. Eddie had even edged her, and that didn’t help at all. It made holding in so much worse.

He went again, pulling back before slamming back in gently. He did it quicker and quicker, but it was painfully slow. His hips were shaking, his grip on her hips pained her and left little bruises from his nails digging deep. Her marks on his back hurt too. But they were too in bliss to care. He thrusted in her faster and faster till he was fucking her fast. Not too fast, but it wasn’t slow anymore. Their moans were pornographic, filled with so much desire and lust. They were loud. The rickety couch shook under them. All they knew was curse words and each other’s names. Their eyes were rolled back, especially Eddie’s. His left hand farted to her clit, flicking it fast.

And that’s what did it.

Her body lifted up as she reached her orgasm, moaning deeply and loudly as she came heavily all over him. 

“Oh fuck Eddie! Oh my fuck! Oh my god Eddie~ holy shit~ fuck that feels so good~” she roared. And right after she came, so did he with a roar of his own, only able to repeat her name like a prayer. “Fuckfuckfuck holyshitholyshit- ohhhhhh Y/N baby~!” 

He filled up the condom with a heavy load, balls tightening a ton, making sure every drop was milked out. His thrusts began to slow down and soon come to a stop and he collapses on top of her. They pant softly and let out huffs and heavy breaths, letting them ride out their high. His cock softens in her. Her body relaxes under Eddie’s and lets her tense muscles loose. His face is buried in her neck and he places soft kisses skin. A smile forms on his lips and he lets out a soft chuckle.

“I love you so much. Can’t believe I’m yours now. Feels like a dream.” He mumbled against her neck. She smiled warmly and places a kiss to his neck. 

“Me either, but I’m glad it’s over. I’m sorry for the last two weeks.” She spoke softly. He lifted his head up, his eyes meeting hers in a soft gaze with nothing but love and admiration filled in those brown button eyes of his. “I understand, baby. But don’t scare me like that. You really freaked me out. Please, promise me to never push me away. I can’t take it.” 

She placed a kiss to his cheek, then his nose, then his eye, and then his lips. “I promise that I’ll never do that again. I freaked me out too. I just love you too much.” She spoke in a hushed voice against his lips before pulling away. He smiled warmly and cupped her face in his hands. “I love you too much, maybe even more. Who knows?” He joked, only halfway though. 

She laughed softly and nudged her nose against his. “Whatever makes you happy, Munson.” She teased. He nudged his nose back against hers and laughed with her. “Thanks, sweetheart.” 

“Anything for you, baby.”

Taglist: @ali-r3n, @iheartgrayson, @violetcamryn, @starr-finn, @lets-imagine-fanfics, @twihard08, @spranikes-bitch, @zestychili, @paradise-summertime, @party-snake, @wordsaresimple-imnot, @jamesthetrans, @chronicles-of-koystee, @irrelevantbutfabulous, @nightintern, @cowboylikesmunson 🖤 

Dividers

[absolutebl]

When it comes to problematic content in QL, everyone has different tolerance levels, and different definitions for it. For you personally, how much is too much? And given that some of your faves/constant rewatches may not have aged well, do you adjust your tolerance as you go, do you just ignore it/tune it out, or do you watch, cringe, and carry on? Does problematic content make you lose love for something with time?

Hum, complex question.

I guess it's usually context and origin for me. Like I forgive Japan stuff I won't take from Thailand because it's... Japan, kinky and boundary pushing is what they do. I don't always like it, but I will usually watch it. I understand their POV and style. And more importantly, so do they.

Certainly that has to do with how well established Japan is both in BL and as a film industry. But there's something more going on. They usually have something to say when they trigger, something thoughtful and provoking about culture, or queerness, or the BL genre.

Where as Thailand doing something similar will come off as clumsy and puerile, like they are teens who don't know any better and are just poking at their audience to see what kind of reaction they get. Or worse, don't even realize when they make a misstep - they just needed it for plot or are executing a tired trope.

I want finesse with my abuse!

I don't mind being manipulated, but I can't catch it in the act. I need to notice it after, and then I make tiny clapping noises.

For me too much is often when it's too predictable in the wrong way, or when it's poorly executed. Like rape just for a plot point. Or lack of consent when it makes no sense for either character or story arc.

I don't like it when poor writing hits me up side the head. Like (and I will harp on this forever) did he have to steal that key and break into his hotel room? Did we all have to overlook it and think, for some reason, that was okay? It wasn't necessary for the plot. It was lazy writing.

I hate lazy writing.

I'd rather bad writing.

How do I put this?

If Japan had done that, it would have been some weird creepy edgy stalker aspect to the seme's character and it would have been purposeful. The dirtiness of it would have been part of characterization. Undies would have been stolen. The lens would have told us to find it off-putting. It would have been done with intent.

Thailand's lens often makes bad/stalker/creep behavior seem normal or acceptable.

If Japan reads your private journal we, the audience, will all know how gross that feels. The grossness will be part of the creepy kinky plot. If Thailand does it... it's just passed over as fine. Or worse, romantic.

Japan does its violations with intent. Because they like the edge. They want to make us a little bit uncomfortable... at all times.

Thailand does it with a blunt butter knife and expects us to overlook a character flaw.

Back to your question...

So given it's a BL producing country that I know is clumsy about this (like Thailand) sometimes I notice and get annoyed, and sometimes I sigh and it doesn't bother me. Often that has to do with my mood. Sometimes it's the chaos of the show. Like with say Pit Babe, or The Sign, eventually I'm just overwhelmed by the absurd crazy of it all. Probably because they clearly aren't taking themselves seriously, the whole darn show: cast, crew, production, everybody.

Sometimes the violation in question is simply not a trigger for me so I don't mind.

Sometimes it reads as a kink and then I kinda like it (Taiwan will do this a lot).

Sometimes I don't even notice.

Yes, certainly I have dropped show or moved on from rewatching older stuff because now it bothered me, where once it did not (cough cough TharnType).

But others I still understand (if not love) because they say something about the time they were made and what the genre was then, like Takumi-kun.

Some stuff I loved so much when it first aired and still love with such nostalgia that I don't really see its flaws. UWMA is likely one of those. It's always great to me, even on rewatch, even after 810 other shows.

But I think UWMA might not be great to someone who started watching BL in 2022 or comes to the genre out of Korean BL, for example.

Does problematic content make you lose love for something with time?

Sometimes but not always.

It's all in the nuance, I guess. Mine, what I bring to the show, my willingness to understand its origin and forgive it its sins, but also the show's nuance and its execution of story.

(source)

[bubybubsters]

One Night Stand

summary: You want a one night stand with Azriel but you’re interrupted and Azrile doesn’t do girls he knows the name of

a/n: idk i actually got outta my writing slump because of @thelov3lybookworm saying smth about exams being stressful so i was gonna write smth fluffy and yeah it didn’t work out lol but…

masterlist

dividers by @uzmacchiato ty ty

When you first got the invitation to Cassian’s mating ceremony, you weren’t planning on going. Not because of anything bad, in fact your relationship with Cassian had always been wonderful, he treated you well and the two of you always found a reason to laugh. But it was never a deep relationship, you didn’t talk to eachother, in fact, you hardly knew anything about him. Your breakup had been mutual after he’d broken down in your living room, crying about things you didn’t even know he was a part of. The two of you had realized you probably weren’t right for eachother and became friends. You had monthly dinners to catch up and a wave when out on the streets.

So how did you end up here, lips pressed against the infamous shadowsinger and your former lover’s brother? 

You honestly had no idea. One second you were clapping politely as confetti fell from the sky, and the next, you were intoxicated and pinned against the wall of a random study by the most feared spy in Prythian. You weren’t even sure you’d exchanged names. And despite the rumors surrounding his love life, you felt like someone special as his hand stroked your cheek.

“Shadowsinger…” 

“Azriel,” he breathes against your lips. “Call me Azriel.”

You repeat his name softly, over and over as he kisses his way down your neck.

The study door opens and slams closed as way of announcing the entrance of two people. The two rulers of the Night Court, to be exaxt.

You, Azriel, Rhysand, and Feyre all freeze, varying shades of astonishment on each face. You let out a laugh, slightly tinged with a maniacal tone, “This is so stupid.” 

The High Lords’ lips twitch before he lets out a booming chuckle. 

Feyre and Azriel share a look, slightly embarrassed yet mildly entertained. But Azriel recovers quickly and places a hand on your back, “Wanna go back to my place?”

Feyre stares, “How are you still horny?”

He shrugs, “Been in the same room as Rhys while fucking before so it’s kinda like a blast to the past.” Rhysand’s face twists into a grimace.

You laugh. “You know, I really like you, Azriel.”

“I’m afraid to pass judgment before I know your name, so, please, do tell?” 

“Y/n.” You inform him with a soft smile.

They all stare at you. 

Azriel’s eyes widen, “You’re Y/n.”

Rhysand blinks. “Oh? You’re not quite how I imagined you.”

“Really?” Feyre asks, glancing at her mate. “This is exactly how I’d imagine her.”

“Pardon?” You’re suddenly nervous. 

“Cassian told us about you,” Azriel grumbles. His shadows swirl around him and he’s stepped back- away from you. 

You frown. “What in the world did he say?” 

Rhysand steps forward. “Just that you were a good form of release.”

You choke. “Come again?”

“That’s what he said.” Feyre grins at you.

A smile stretches across your face. You like her. “So the entire inner circle knows that I’m a good form of release?” You grin. “Personally, I would say a ‘perfect form of release.’”

Azriel’s brows raise. “Unfortunately, only Cassian can attest to that so we’ll just have to take your word for it.”

“Oh?” Mock disappointment fills your voice. “What about you? Thought you were still horny?”

Feyre’s lips twitch, Rhysand stifles a laugh.

Azriel blinks. “I know your name.”

“Glad to know you have ears.”

His eyes twinkle, “No I mean, I don’t fuck anyone I know the name of.”

“Why not? Makes it more enjoyable, you know?” You slink closer to him. “In between the moans and whimpers, you could slip in a name once or twice. Really helps a girl out.”

Azriel raises a brow. “Really? Maybe I’ll try it.” Your eyes light up triumphantly. “Y/n/nn.” He stretches out your name, speaking through a moan. His tone is soft, slightly amused, and extremely suggestive. “There, tried it. Whatcha think?”

Your mouth hangs slightly open as you come to the realization that Azriel has the sexiest voice known to man. “Ye- Yeah. Think it helps.” 

Azriel smiles, teeth flashing. “I know.” He sends a pointed look downwards, “I can smell just how much it helps.”

Your brain explodes. We’re talking downright combustion, bits of brain cells flying around with no place to go in your skull. All you manage is a small, “Oh.”

“I don’t think this was something we were supposed to witness,” Feyre mutters to Rhys.

His violet eyes sparkle, “I’m inclined to agree with you, darling, however I can’t help but be curious how this will play out.” You and Azriel stare at him, faces completely deadpan. Rhysand raises his hands. “My bad, let’s go darling, they don’t want us here.”

The second the door closes you both burst out laughing.

Yeah, you really do like this guy.

azriel taglist: @profound-imagination @lilah-asteria @stargirl1714 @hieragalbatorixdottir

ask to be take off or onto the taglist

[deniigi]

Heyy I just wanted to say that your writing style and stories have always been a favourite of mine, they always read really well and make me laugh especially when the characters take everything with deadly seriousness in a weird as hell situation lmao.

you and a couple other authors have inspired me to write my first fic but I am having trouble with it kinda reading awkwardly or a bit clunky at times? I think it's partly because I'm so unused to reading my own writing but I was wondering if you have any tips on avoiding writing becoming stilted since most other things seem to be going well apart from that ;)

Thankyou for all the stories!!

Hello Anon!!

I am SO EXCITED that you’re doing the damn thing!!! Hell yes, welcome to the flock, welcome to our wonderful club, our most mortifying and delicious hobby.

To hopefully set your mind at ease: the writing is just going to be clunky sometimes, and oftentimes it literally has to be so that your reader understands what you’re trying to convey.

I don’t quite know what’s going on to make your writing feel clunky, but here are some general things which might hel:

1. Use characters’ names more often than the prose, purely from an artistic perspective, might appear to require.

I am extremely guilty of going:

He looked behind him, and there he was, dallying. Probably dreaming of shrimp.

And I come back to read it later with my reader in mind and I’m like. Who the fuck is ‘he?’ There are 3 pronouns in this sentence, and they could belong to anyone.

So I rewrite that as:

Anakin looked behind him and there Rex was, dallying. Probably dreaming of shrimp.

BEHOLD CLARITY. Alas, we lost the poetry of ‘he, him, dallying, probably dreaming,’ but I want people to associate Rex with dreaming and shrimp, not Anakin, so the sacrifice is justified.

2. Use transitions.

I know it sounds like a highschool/college (if you’re British) thing to be told to use things like ‘then,’ ‘however,’ ‘unfortunately,’ ‘meanwhile,’ and so on, but I find that writing that moves without those types of transitions between big ideas can feel a little clunky.

If you don’t want to use direct transitions, you can link your sentences together by sort of repeating ideas that happened in the one before it. That makes the writing feel cohesive and like it is building on itself.

Here is an example of what I would consider clunky writing without obvious transitions:

Matt broke all the bones in his fist that night. He went home. He took some pain meds at the top of the hour. Foggy soon smugly joined him on the couch; he told Peter that he and Matt recently rewrote Matt’s will to have his brain pickled in the name of science.

Here is an example that is a little smoother (bold are obvious transitions, italics are moments of repeating ideas):

Fortunately, earlier that day, Matt had broken all the bones in his fist. He’d spent the last several hours marveling at the efficacy of pain medication and contemplating how one might test its upper limits. Foggy, satisfied with his current place in the universe at the side of his lightly maimed, but resoundingly not-dead husband, told Peter that he was having Matt’s brain pickled after his death in the name of scientific advancement.

Peter thanked him on Science’s behalf for his future donation and redirected both lawyers’ attention to the restraining order in his hands.

(Just as a reminder, transitions don’t have to be only 1 word, they can be clauses, which is why there the last sentence has bold and italics in it)

3. Use literary devices.

Genuinely: alliteration, similes, metaphors, allegories, allusions, ALL OF THEM THINGS.

I personally feel like using things makes writing feel more lived in, and they can sort of dispel some of the clunkiness and frustration that comes with trying to express an emotion or simple action.

Ex.

‘He froze when the door opened. When he realized who it was, he sighed in relief.’ VERSUS ‘When the door opened, he became a dead mouse. When he realized who it was, he came back to life.’

IT JUST FEELS GOOD. I recently realized that literary devices are the tastiest snacks in all writing. I know I’ve been doing this for years, but like it literally did not dawn on me that someone might use them purposefully until I read Moby Dick by Herman Melville. I wanted so bad to write like him and so had to like, actually sit with the text and think about it to figure out how to do it.

And that brings me to the last point, since I’m sure I’ve nattered on long enough:

4. Emulate the styles of writers you like.

For me? Tonally, nothing can beat the way that Toni Morrison describes things in Beloved. I love how Herman Melville uses alliteration in Moby Dick. I fucking adore the floral propriety and didactism of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice.

When I am writing, I’m trying to follow their lead and I’m thinking about how they string words together, and once I’m doing that, I find that I don’t feel like my writing is as disjointed or frustrating because I can see in my head what I am trying to emulate there.

WOW that was a lot. I hope something in there helped. Just so you know most people write like a billion drafts of smth before they hit on a way of telling the story that feels right. I wrote 6 versions of the last 2 chapters of my most recent Merlin fic. If nothing else, time will help.

[saythatuwill]

android!vessel ♡ hcs/thoughts . . .

now playing: always, everytime // the wrecks

hello my friends! thanks for bearing with me for the past few days, WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK!!!! isn't it like a little crazy that i began posting about android!vessel literally ONE WEEK before the line "i was your robot companion"? thank u to everyone who msged me like SHERRY!!!!! SHERRYYYYY!!!!!! LOOOOOK /silly

oh and THANK U to @astronoids for helping me come up with one of these!! ^w^ and for their general support of this au, i just felt like they needed the love for it.

if there is anything you're curious about when it comes to android!vess, my asks are always open! these are sorta misc hcs so i'm down to elaborate or share even more.

tags: @concretejunglefm, @fadingangelwisp, @chey-h, @xmads-omensx (if you're on this list SPECIFICALLY for noah content, i'm sorry! i need to sort everything out again!!!)

♡ vessel is a HUGE daydreamer, maybe to the extent of maladaptive daydreaming? 

♡ i like to think that because sleep was constantly messing with androids, changing their parts, adding new features they shouldn't have etc, vessel ended up getting a projection system. android!noah has this too, but while his works correctly, vessel's doesn't.

♡ it was added to be able to project images and videos directly before vessel's eyes and of course, in his "mind". it was used as psychological torture when it came to the cult, but now that vessel is free, it's not used the same way. (unless it glitches, sometimes it flashes unwanted things at him.)

♡ he is a very natural storyteller because of this, he can vividly see ideas and images in his mind, and sometimes he'll pace around the house or in the backyard for hours.

♡ sometimes he can trigger it himself, other times it sorta just happens, like if he hears music or other sounds, or maybe he sees something that just sorta awakens him.

♡ he struggles with snapping out of it on his own at times, but whenever he does he usually tries to write it down, or he starts drawing or painting whatever it is he saw.

♡ speaking of that, vessel is quite the artist and writer! he enjoys visual art, poetry, and writing stories (fiction, usually fantasy-based).

♡ when he first moved into your house he sorta stood around like a statue or followed you around like a lost puppy. you're a busy person! gotta keep him occupied somehow. you don't really need a 6'4 masked android staring you down while you work on your cases. 

♡ one day you came back from work with a bag full of miscellaneous stuff. both from shopping and from some of your friends at work. full of books, sketchpads, paint, notebooks, yarn, couple of sports-related things. threw it into his arms like "you my friend need some fuckin' hobbies."

♡ he didn't do much with it for a while. he has his own bedroom in your house with basic furniture so it was all just kinda on the floor or on his desk.

♡ his bedroom is very much not decorated btw, at least not in the start. you told him he can decorate it, or if he has a vision you'd be down to help him make some of it happen. he looked at you like you were speaking a different language.

♡ he started with trying the sports stuff, generic basketball yknow. he was in the parking lot for like an hour sorta just. bouncing it. throwing it a couple times. holding it awkwardly. was not his thing.

♡ tried the yarn, because y'know, maybe knitting could be his calling. 15 minutes later you check in on him he is somehow tangled in the yarn. 

♡ "how the hell did you manage to do this?"

♡ "... i cannot say for certain."

♡ you had to untangle him, every time he tried to do it himself (because he INSISTED he could get himself out of the predicament) he made it worse

♡ books next, maybe he's into reading! this kickstarted writing for him. he seemed to be very invested in the books you'd gotten, you hardly saw him for DAYS.

♡ by like day 3 you were getting sorta worried about him (you totally did not miss him. no. never.) so you decided to check in. you set up a corkboard for him on his wall in case he wanted to put stuff on it, it is COVERED in papers with ideas and sketches and he is going AT IT. 

♡ whenever he actually finishes something he's working on, he presents it to you like how a kid shares a drawing w their parent. (you think he is so fucking talented)

♡ also, he talks very formally. and he's not very good at understanding expressions. like. shit like "elephant in the room"

♡ "there are no elephants present in this room, (name). an elephant would not be able to fit in this space."

♡ he's gentle giant coded. but if it came down to it... he would absolutely fucking kill for you. he will protect you no questions asked and not just because he is a bodyguard model. you mean a lot to him! scary dog privilege!

♡ vessel, ii, iii, and iv all ended up in different homes after being saved from sleep but they do still hang out! vessel went out of his way to repair all of those friendships from the damage they took during the cult. (vessel blames himself for everything. it is not his fault.)

♡ they like to hang out in your backyard usually, usually they sit in this little circle in the grass and chat. they could talk for hours. or iii, being the bad influence, convinces the rest of them to do some bullshit that leads to you having to sit them down and scold them like children.

♡ he doesn't laugh a whole lot, but when he does it is absolutely infectious. loud, warm, the kind of laugh that could make everyone else in the room laugh with him.

♡ gets nervous when others touch him, especially without permission. PLEASE ASK HIM FIRST or he gets very worked up. he has definitely hit someone on impulse because they touched him unexpectedly.

♡ comes across as a listener, but secretly a yapper. especially if it's about the things he's passionate about.

♡ (will be seen in a later fic) you had to teach him to dance, and ever since, he seems to really like it. you know that cryptid dancing vessel does on stage? yeah, android!vessel does it too. ngl he's pretty fun at parties

♡ come get your freak of an android he's doing things (you set him loose on purpose. he needs enrichment)

♡ oh and before any of you ask. yes, he does pursue music later on! but not initially. this is not directly vessel related but ii was actually the one to pitch the band idea. and for what it's worth, you actually help teach vessel guitar.

[damn-stark]

Chapter 12 Into the woods

Chapter 12 of Tragedy at the Miller’s

A/N- okay but I kinda really love how this chapter turned out.

Warning- fluff?, ANGST, talks of violence and death, talks of suicide attempt , spoilers for season 2, Remember this is a rewrite not an AU, so the major stuff that happens in the show will happen here :)

Pairing- Joel Miller x daughter!reader (platonic of course :), OC x Fem!reader

Episode- 2x03-2x04, used scenes from the game too

(If you want to be tagged let me know!)

————

“We went to make them pay. Sorry we had to do this the hard way, but you didn’t leave us no other choice. We asked and you turned us down. Now you have to trust that we will come back.

-Dina and Ellie”

“It was stuck to her door?” You ask as you lift the note and show it off to Jesse, who has read it over and over again as if that would bring them both back, or make it any less surprising. It didn’t.

“Yes,” Jesse answers hesitantly as he looks at you with pity and concern, and then flickers his eyes to Apollo with shame. “I’m sorry I came here so early. I really am. I just,” he pauses and focuses on Apollo as if ready to hear his friend get mad at him for involving you, but Jesse shouldn’t worry about Apollo. It’s your Uncle Tommy he should worry about. He seems more bothered by the fact that Jesse chose to come to you instead of just privately going to him. After all, you just barely started talking and getting out of the house; this could mortify you more.

“I thought you needed to know,” Jesse explains his reasoning, but doesn’t make it sound any better to your Uncle. If he had the chance to lie to you about this, he would’ve chosen that because as he looks over at you, he sees you set the note down and drop your face in your palms to try and gather your racing thoughts that don't leave you groggy. You’re left wide awake after reading Ellie’s note—or should you say Dina’s note, there’s no way Ellie would have written so much down. She would’ve made it short and straight to the point.

“I mean, I know they’re both reckless, but to do this? This is something completely beyond reckless and stupid.” Jesse adds, as you start rubbing your temple and revisit what Ellie said, because she’s right, you’re late. Too weak. You knew she was up to something stupid, and you didn’t stop her. You’re too late.

“What do we do with this now?” Jesse keeps filling the silence while Apollo is more worried about how you’re going to take this since you’re being quiet.

“Maybe we can still stop them, or,” Jesse pauses and sighs deeply, choosing to stay quiet instead of finishing what he was going to say.

“Or what?” You finally speak and drop one hand off your face, letting it smack against the dinner table.

“Go after them. I mean,” Jesse goes on hesitantly. “Knowing Ellie, we won’t be able to bring her back now, but maybe we can go after her. Save her and Dina from getting killed.”

Going after her was the first thing you thought of because you know, just like Jesse, that trying to bring Ellie back would be impossible. She’s put her mind to a mission, and it’d be hell to try and convince her to come back.

However, among the many other reasons not to go, you share the most important one that you think about the most. “I’d be the last person she would want after her,” you mumble, piquing all three men’s interest.

“We got into an argument yesterday after the meeting,” you share, and avert your gaze by looking at the note again. “I won’t go into detail, but she basically told me that she never wants to see me again.”

Jesse lifts his eyebrow, expecting more since he doesn’t know the depth of your argument or the hurtful things she said, since you don’t want to badmouth her.

“So you’re going to listen to her?” Jesse asks with disbelief, interrupting your uncle before he can speak up.

“I,” you pause and sit up straight before you take a deep breath and meet his gaze. “I don’t know. I mean, she made her choice. Who am I to stop her? I already tried. I told her not to go, that there is no point, but she got mad.” You say with frustration about your own failures, and because even if you understand that Ellie was mad, the things she said still deeply hurt.

It was the same when you were young. You’d try to help, but you’d always get yelled at and hurt. Only this time it hurts so much worse because it makes you want to die.

It's no exaggeration, that’s the truth, because it’s a truth that is tearing away at you as you speak.

“You’re her sister,” Jesse argues without an ounce of hesitation or shame—“isn’t that point enough? Regardless of what she said?”

You stay quiet and glance at Apollo this time as you think about your other reason not to go.

You have a family now. You can’t just abruptly leave for something that doesn’t guarantee you’ll make it back. They don’t deserve that, and you can’t just do that to them. But Jesse is also right…Ellie is your sister. Would your dad stop from going after her even if she said hurtful things to him?

He would go in a heartbeat, so you…should do the same to help the girl you love, but…there’s so many reasons telling you to stay.

“It is point enough,” your uncle finally chimes in for you and looks at you ever so softly as if a look alone could cause you harm. “Of course, Sunny of all people knows that the words our siblings say at the heat of the moment don’t mean anything, but it’s not easy. For either of us. We can’t just grab a backpack and leave the moment we decide to. Maybe you get that, Jesse, or maybe you don’t. Maybe a couple of years down the line, you’ll realize, but either way, we can’t be as bold with our choices as you.”

Jesse drops his head with shame, and your Uncle leans towards you with even more tenderness. “Don’t break your head over what you want to do. I’ll give you…until tomorrow to think about it.” He says and pats the empty space on the table.

You slowly meet his gaze and feel relieved by his suggestion, and feel that pressure to know what to do decreasing. Yet it doesn’t all vanish.

“Will you go?” You ask your Uncle, knowing Jesse wasn’t asking for permission but more so support before he left.

“I,” your uncle pauses and sits back with his eyes flickering away. “…Don’t know. I’ll think about it too,” he says without looking at you once, but you never give that too much thought.

“Can we really risk being two days behind them?” Jesse blurts, causing your Uncle to snap his gaze to him.

“It’s a risk we have to take and can fix if we choose to go,” your uncle mutters before looking over at you and finding your gaze again. “A day, hm?” He repeats and looks between you and Jesse.

“Okay,” You nod stiffly.

Jesse waits a moment to see if you’ll add anything else, but you go quiet, and your Uncle gets up and looks at him before pointing his head at the door.

“I’m going to head out now,” your Uncle announces as Jesse gets up from his seat. “You think about it.”

You nod again, and Jesse interjects. “Again, I’m sorry I came over so abruptly,” he says, making you drift your eyes to watch him.

“We already told you, it’s okay,” Apollo reassures the young man as he gets off of his chair.

“I’ll go find you later,” you assure Jesse and your Uncle, making Jesse nod in comprehension and making your Uncle linger back before he follows Jesse out of the house, making Apollo see them out.

When Apollo comes back to the dining room, he sees you in the same spot, but this time you have the letter in your hand and you’re reading the letter again with a deep sorrow in your eyes.

“What are we plannin’ to do?” Apollo asks now that you’re in the comfort of each other's privacy.

“I…genuinely don’t know,” you confess and drop the letter to look at him. “A part of me is telling me to go. She’s my sister and she’s risking her life in this cruel world, so even if she says that she doesn’t want to see me again, she still needs me.”

“Tommy is right, when we say we don’t want to see our siblings again, we don't mean it,” Apollo tries to comfort your bleeding heart as he sits across from you to be able to take your hands in his. “She’s mad, but she hasn’t forsaken you.”

You look at him, teary-eyed eyed and finally share everything she told you yesterday. “She said she hated me, Apollo. And maybe I deserve to be hated, I lied, but…how will we go back to what we were? How will she forgive me?”

Apollo sighs and, with a pitiful frown, says a hurtful truth. “You won’t ever get back what you had, but you can get past it. You will get past it.”

You let out a shaky breath and drop your head before you wipe the tears off your face, causing him to caress your knuckles and look at you with more pity.

You’re starting to hate all this pity.

“Another part of me is telling me not to go,” you cut in. “Not for any petty reason, but it’s not as easy as before, you know.” You breathe out deeply.

Apollo nods in agreement before he interjects. “Think about it like Tommy said,” he says without the reassurance that he’ll support whatever choice you make because deep down he hopes you won’t go. He’ll understand if you want to, but it’s like you said, it’s not as easy as before.

“I will, hopefully by today, I don’t want to leave Jesse waiting or have the girls get too ahead,” you say, and let that take over your every waking thought. How could you think about anything else with such a heavy and hard choice to make?

You go out to your garden to think, but you don’t come out with your mind made up, so you try to keep busy inside your house, but nothing comes to mind. You then go for a long walk, hoping that will help you, but you keep debating with yourself. The only thing you end up doing is ending up in front of your dad’s abandoned house.

You don’t know what led you there; whether it’s because of instinct, or because deep down you wanted to come visit his house to find an answer, you don’t know. You just know you’re in front of the driveway, hoping once again that you’ll find him on his porch, but…he’s not there. You can’t even be reassured by the fact that Ellie is in the garage because she’s gone too.

The house is alone. Lifeless and abandoned, with only memories of what was haunting the dust-covered halls.

Even so, as depressing as that is, you still step foot past the threshold that once kept you away, and make your way to the front door.

When you reach the door, you lift your hand with the intention to knock, but you remember that no one is inside, so before you can overthink the matter, you grab the doorknob and open the door.

What once was a warm place lively with comfort, now is a sad reminder of who you lost. Now, there’s no father to welcome you inside, and the smell of coffee doesn’t waft in your nose.

Usually, the lights inside the house were hardly on; he didn’t excessively brighten his house like you or Ellie do, but a light was usually on. Now, there’s only a dull light that fills the house because the sun hides under thick clouds.

Even so, you don’t turn to walk away. For the first time since he died, you step foot inside the house and close the door behind you, expecting nothing; no greeting, no head peeking around a corner, and no distant voice telling you where he is, but oh, the house comes alive with memory.

In the living room, you hear snoring as the TV quietly plays, so you follow the noise and on the lazy-boy, you see the memory of your dad asleep with your infant son asleep in his arms.

In the dining room you hear the commotion of faint laughter, metal clinking against plates, and different conversations across the table, and when you walk to the room, you see a warm light brightening the room and your family dining without a worry, almost as if life held no monsters and everything was normal.

You want to relive just one night. You want to have dinner with the whole of your family again and make one more memory, but the kitchen calls you. The memory of coffee brewing in the kitchen lures you over, and here to keep you company is the memory of you and your dad cooking and doing the dishes as you yapped away and he listened to every word.

A part of you wants to stay to be able to relive through those fond memories, but heavy footsteps thump in the hall, growing more distant as they get further away, so before you can get left behind, you follow after those heavy footsteps and end up at the foot of the stairs.

The haunting footsteps continue to echo on the second floor, but you’re in no rush since you get distracted by the photos your dad hung on the wall going up the stairs.

The first and most recent photo you study is a picture of your dad holding Teddy, who is looking away, but still relaxed in your dad's arms. The next photo you see when you go up a couple of stairs is one of you and all of your family gathered around the table. Ellie and your dad didn’t talk by then so they were at opposite ends, but they were still captured in the same photo, making it seem, without context, that they were a strong united front. If only it were true…

Nevertheless, you move up and the next photo keeps you put longer than the other ones because it’s one of you, Apollo, and your Dad on your wedding day. Your dad was in the middle, keeping you and your husband apart because the old man had a hard time accepting that his youngest daughter was all grown up.

It was funny then, but the memory is even funnier now.

Regardless, you reach the second floor and an end table decorates the end of the hall, holding different pictures and trinkets, but most importantly, it holds a happy picture of you, your dad, and Ellie captured on Ellie’s special birthday trip.

It was a long time ago, and it was the first trip you had together after the big adventure that brought you all together. It's a memory that should help you come up with a decision, but the truth is that you only get more upset over who you lost. So you move on instead, clueless as to what you want to do.

The next place you find yourself in is not Ellie’s bare room. You walk past her room and walk directly into your dad's room, feeling your heart crush when you walk into an empty room holding only memories of him. Not him sleeping on the bed, just an empty room and an empty bed holding a single box.

You grow curious about what the box could possibly contain, so you walk to it, feeling tears fall off your chin and get left on the floor as you hastily reach the bed. Once you get to the box, you don’t hesitate to open it, revealing to yourself that it’s his belongings he had on him when he…died.

There isn't a lot in the box, but you still only drive your focus to his broken watch that he refused to part with, not because it was a trusty gadget that told time, no, the old thing is broken. Which should be a reason to have abandoned it a long time ago, but the watch was a reminder of Sarah, and the last thing he ever gifted her. That’s why he kept it with him at all times, because it felt like carrying her with him.

Why would they make him part with it? Why didn’t they bury him with it?

If only you had been there. You would’ve made sure they were buried together, but…you weren’t there. You didn’t say your last goodbye…

…to either of them…now they’re both gone and you’re here, living on without them. Why?

“Why?” You ask yourself as you clutch onto your dad's broken watch before you turn to look at a picture your dad has on his nightstand, one of before the outbreak. A picture of you, Sarah, and him before the world ended, and where you were happy together.

You want to be with them again, more than anything else in this world. That’s what you want, and that desire, the picture, and the memory it brings, finally lets you come up with an answer.

Thus, you tuck the watch in your pocket and leave the house to go find Jesse first, since he’s more eager to leave.

Luckily, it’s not hard to locate him. You find him in the first place you check; his house, but there with him is your Uncle. They were looking over a map together.

“I decided,” you cut in abruptly, skipping past greetings and asking for explanations. “I’m going.”

“Sunny,” your Uncle Tommy finally parts from the table and approaches you, causing Jesse to back away.

You stay where you are and let your Uncle approach you so he can see how your face contorts with betrayal and frustration.

“I said I’m going,” you cut in confidently. “You can fight me or accept my choice. I'd rather you accept it because by the looks of it we’ll only have a hard time if you don’t.”

Your Uncle sighs and drops his head. “I was just looking out for you,” he explains without as much trouble as it would’ve given your dad to explain. “I’m just worried about you. You’re only now gettin’ better and you have Teddy and Apollo, and I—”

“You were selfish,” you cut him off and step towards him to tilt your head down so he can meet your gaze. “You have Benji and Maria, too, so where’s the difference in that? I can do it,” you proclaim. “I will do it because she’s my sister and she needs me.”

Your Uncle lifts his head, and you follow his movements so as not to lose his gaze. “Meet at my house when you’re done here. We leave today,” you say without giving more explanations.

“Are you sure?” Jesse asks for his own sake.

You look at him over your Uncle’s shoulder and nod stiffly before you step away from his front door. “Positive,” you assure him and then pass him a helpful comment. “Pack the necessities you have at your house. I’ll take care of the rest.”

He offers you a comprehensive nod, so you then face your Uncle and press again to not be at odds. “You go. I go. Simple as that. I’m…okay.”

Your Uncle takes a moment to process that, knowing you too well as to accept that right away, but you're as stubborn as your dad when you want to be, so he chooses to trust you now and gives in. “Alright.”

The corner of your lips tugs up faintly before you then leave and return home with your mind made up, but your heart heavy.

“Apollo?” You call out after you close the front door, but you don’t hear a response, so you walk further inside and check the kitchen and the living room, but he’s not there. You proceed to check the rooms, but he’s not in any and Teddy is not inside either.

Could they be out in town? Maybe.

Yet before you can assume that possibility, you check the backyard, and much to your luck, there they are in the wildflower garden along with your dog Hermes.

You almost don’t want to disturb their peace. You could admire them forever, but you don’t want to risk Jesse getting here and telling Apollo the choice you made, so after a couple of lingering minutes, you join your boys and your dog outside, earning happy reactions from the both of them.

“Ma!” Teddy exclaims and tries to walk to you, but you reach him first and swiftly sweep him off the floor with a beaming grin.

“Hey, cowboy,” you greet and kiss his forehead before you pull your head back as he shows you a single flower he picked. “Oh, would you look at that? Is that for me or you?”

Teddy brings the flower back towards him and stares at it for a moment before he accidentally drops it, making him squirm, so you end up putting him down so he can keep doing whatever it was that he was doing along with Hermes, and so you can take a seat next to Apollo on the bench swing.

“I finally made my choice,” you don’t delay the matter a moment longer, making him pick his eyes off Teddy to look at you nervously. “I’m going. Today.”

There’s no talk about a passionate motivation to go help Ellie from mortal danger. He, of course, thinks he knows why you’re going, and it makes your choice hard to swallow. Not because he doesn’t want you to help Ellie, but because it’s not so simple anymore.

“It seems that my Uncle and Jesse weren’t planning to have me go, but I caught them in time,” you share, but don’t catch Apollo by surprise because he had noticed your Uncle’s intentions from the moment the letter was shared—“So we leave today, just my Uncle, Jesse, and me,” you clarify, but get no big reaction from Apollo. He drops his gaze and sighs before he finally lets his thoughts be heard.

“Yeah, I…didn’t plan to be a part of the trip,” he confesses, leaving you more surprised than he was with what you just told him.

“We have Teddy,” he continues, making you look over at your son with guilt. “One of us has to stay with him. Why should we risk his life, or risk him being left…an orphan if Jackson is safe and one parent who can stay with him?”

You gulp as your guilt digs itself deeper, causing more ache.

“I wish I could go, but one of us has to stay with him, and as much as I wish it was you, I know this mission is important to you,” he continues to clarify his decision and turns his head to look at you while you keep watching Teddy as you try to take advantage of the time you have with him before you have to leave.

“That’s the only reason I’m even supporting it,” he says, and finally brings your eyes back to him. “I just,” he pauses and draws out a heavy breath. “Don’t know how many long goodbyes I have left in me.”

As if you had your breath stolen by him, you gasp softly and look at him with disbelief.

“I love you,” he quickly explains as he sees your reaction. “But things are different now. We have a son. A life together and…I don’t think it’s fair to me or him to uproot it for a trip that may or may not bring you back.”

You avert your gaze and clench your hands into fists.

“You know how much it hurts when people leave you behind,” he points out, making your heart skip a beat while also almost changing your mind. But it’s not enough because your dad's death is in the back of your mind like a plague.

“I do know,” you mumble and look back at him with reassurance. “I wouldn’t be leaving either if it wasn’t for Ellie, but…she…needs me,” you finally repeat your reason for leaving. “Whether she wants my help or not. I owe it to him to try.”

Apollo hums, and you take his hands to make one thing clear.

“But I also know I can’t water dead plants. I know my dad would never stop going after her, but I do know when to stop…there'll be no more long goodbyes after this one.” You clarify, making a soft smile tug on his lips.

“Okay,” he whispers before you let his hands go to wrap him in a tight embrace as if you were already saying your goodbyes when it won’t be for another little while.

“You are the best friend and best husband anyone could ask for,” you tell him as you bury your face in the crook of his neck. “I’m so lucky to have met you. I love you…with all of me.” You say against his flesh, making him grin and hold you tightly against him, to the point you find comfort in his steady heartbeat.

“I love you too,” he redirects. “You are loved so so much, so please come back, okay?”

You pick your face off his neck and rest your chin on his shoulder before you whisper back. “Okay.”

With no promise made and your first round of goodbyes shared, you then continue to watch Teddy play outside for a while longer until you have to go inside to get ready.

About halfway into packing the necessities you have in your house, Jesse and your Uncle finally meet up at your house and wait for a little while, but not as long as they assumed.

“You’re both carrying light,” Jesse points out as he sees that your backpack looks as light as your Uncle’s.

“For now,” you leave him more curious.

“Now,” your Uncle interjects. “It’s night now, so it’s the perfect time to get our horses and sneak out so as not to raise questions, okay? So just act normal.” He says without worry and expects you and Jesse to look the same, but Jesse looks lost.

“What about weapons? Are we just going to stroll in the armory and take what we need? Those are locked.” Jesse asks the most important question. “And food?”

You share a knowing look with your Uncle and Apollo before you decide to tell Jesse the secret early. “We have all that a couple of miles out of Jackson.”

Jesse blinks in disbelief, so you explain yourself further.

“Jackson is home. Jackson is safe, but we’ve been around long enough, and early in our years, we knew this man named Bill. He was…what my Daddy called an end-of-the-world prepper, so to make this story short, he warned my dad to always have an escape plan if we found ourselves in communities, especially because he had a daughter. My dad took that to heart, and he did exactly that. An escape plan.” You reveal with a smug smirk. “He hid a cache just outside of Jackson that he let a few of us know about.”

Jesse scoffs, and before he can feel proud over your father's genius plan, he asks one more question that immediately comes to mind. “Ellie left first. I’m pretty sure she emptied that.”

You scoff. “You really think we would let Ellie know?” You remark lightheartedly. “She would have emptied that a long time ago, knowing her, so we didn’t tell her. Weapons, food, flashlights, and everything we need is already there. I'm assuming you have a path mapped out,” you point out with a hint of annoyance, making your Uncle sigh deeply before he has no choice but to agree.

“We do, we just need to go collect our cache. So it begs the question, are you two ready to go?”

Without hesitation or anything holding you back, you nod to give him an answer before you confirm it verbally. “I’m ready.”

Jesse nods in agreement without so much as doubt, but what follows holds you back, so before you can leave, you turn to Apollo, but not with sorrow and uncertainty to leave. You look at him softly and completely enamored. “I love you. Always.”

He smiles back at you tenderly and without caring that you have company so close by; he smacks his lips on yours and steals a kiss.

Knowing this kiss will be your last, you capture his jaw to press him closer and spark a passion that makes you move ravenously. You almost don't have the heart or will to break away, but you taste a salty tear mix in your passion, so you pull away, but keep him close to take note of every feature on his face.

“I’ll be here. Waiting,” he says, pulling more tears out of your eyes. “My love. My world. My light.”

You smile at him tenderly and have to steal one last kiss.

Before you can part to give your son your goodbyes, you reach inside your shirt and pull out his old Firefly pendant to assure him. “I’ll have you close. Always.”

He scoffs softly and looks away shyly, letting you then move away to find your son in the living room playing on the floor with his toys.

“Take care of each other,” you hear Apollo tell Jesse while you go on your knees to grab your son's attention.

“Teddy, I’m going to be leaving now, okay?” You tell your son who is cluelessly gripping onto his toys. “You’re gonna be stayin’ with your Daddy, so you be good to him, okay?”

The baby blabbers and offers you his toy giraffe, so you take it and press it against your chest. “I’ll keep you close, okay?”

Teddy asks for his toy back, so you give it back with a giggle and then lean in to hug him tightly, causing him to laugh in response.

“I love you, my Theo,” you whisper. “Don’t forget me.”

Teddy stays in your embrace until you let go, and before you can completely part from him, you face him one last time and then force yourself away to make your way to the front door with Jesse and your Uncle trailing after you, and Apollo trailing after them.

Once you reach the door, you give Apollo one last embrace because if he went to see you off at the gate, people would grow suspicious, so he sees you to the door instead.

“Ready?” Your Uncle asks one last time as you face your traveling partners.

“Ready,” you and Jesse answer at the same time with confidence and determination

——

*A COUPLE WEEKS LATER*

Thanks to your travel experience, you were able to help with some kinks to your Uncle and Jesse’s initial path to Seattle to avoid as many potential obstacles as possible. It is hard to know if you’ll come across something as small as a camp or as big as a town, but you avoid cities, highways, and freeways and stick to the woods and backroads where people usually don’t settle, and infected are least likely to roam.

Luckily, it’s just three of you, so you’re least likely to catch anyone’s attention. You don’t have a dog to help you with what you humans can't catch, but you don’t stop to loot anywhere and are never too loud or keep the light on too long. It’s not because you just set up camp to simply eat and sleep; you make conversation, you share stories, and laugh at jokes. You never disagree with one another because Jesse respects the plans of more experienced travelers, and you trust your Uncle, and he trusts you, but there, between both men and you, is a threshold.

Your Uncle sees it, but he doesn’t want to cross it. He gives you space because he thinks that’s the answer, and he likes to think he knows you more than he knows himself, but Jesse is different; he can see what your Uncle is failing to catch. It would be impossible not to, since you're on the road with no one but each other, but instead of getting closer on this trip, there’s always a barrier between them and you, and he can feel it.

Maybe it is because you’ve been on the road with only each other as company, so it’d be hard to miss, but it’s almost so thick that Jesse swears he can almost touch it with the pads of his fingers. It’s where you keep the person you really are and every emotion that riddles that you.

As much as Jesse wants to cross that threshold, though, you never let him cross it. You keep him and your Uncle at the other side and let them see an unusual bliss that feels inorganic.

“I see something brown,” you share, making Jesse search the area around you before he examines the sky to try and find what you spotted, making it the perfect game to keep you and Jesse entertained while also working to search the area for anything suspicious.

“That hawk circling the area over there,” Jesse points out exactly what you had seen.

“Yes,” you praise him with a smile. “A red-tailed hawk, if I remember correctly, right, Uncle Tommy?”

Said man searches the sky until he finds the distant fella and shrugs. “I wouldn’t know anymore. I only made you memorize them so we could get some teaching in while on the road.”

You groan and then look back at Jesse and add on. “Either way, it’s not very good to eat.”

Jesse scoffs with curiosity twinkling in his eyes. “Before or after?” He asks, referring to before Jackson or on your nationwide road trip.

“Before,” you let him know, and turn your eyes away from the sky when the hawk is out of view. “Of course, my Uncle Tommy, here, caught it. I helped…kinda. It moved too much for me, so we didn’t want to risk it then, but I helped locate it after we hunted it down.”

“Pretty much the same thing,” he jokes, making you giggle.

“I’ll say. Okay,” you focus back on the game. “Now you. Go. Last one. Make it hard.”

Jesse hums and his eyes search high up in the tall trees and down low at the horses you ride before looking at every green bush, colored plant, grey rock, and anything else you have yet to cross and that surrounds you until his eyes seem to lock on something.

You try to pinpoint what it is by following his line of gaze and blurting the first thing you see. “Fern!”

Jesse rolls his eyes and turns his attention to you. “No. Not close. Something…you can slip on if you are not careful.”

You press your lips together and search the area he had focused on to try and find what he said with the clue he gave. However, there’s no mud because it hasn't rained. There’s no moss that you can see. You can’t see flat rocks on the ground or any twigs that can get caught under your shoe.

“Bark?” You ask hesitantly.

A faint smirk tugs on his lips before he shakes his head. “No. Listen.”

You strain your ear and catch the call of the same Red-tailed hawk in the distance. You hear different birds chirping, and past that, you hear a rush of water, but you can’t see it.

That can’t be it.

“A river?” You ask with confusion, and as unsure as you are of your response, Jesse actually nods.

“Yeah.”

“Well,” you smack your lips. “That ain’t close. I mean, I can’t see it.”

Your Uncle chuckles from the front of the caravan, and Jesse shakes his head with the smug smile still attached to his face. “Nope, but it’s not I-spy. We just have to find what the other person points out.” He says cockily, so you roll your eyes and sigh deeply.

“Whatever,” you grumble and then nudge your horse to pick up her pace and take the lead to reach the river faster. “We should fill up our bottles and let the horses hydrate,” you share your thoughts with the men who don't question you. After all, you won’t come across another body of water today or tomorrow.

Yet when you reach the river, you find out that it was loud enough to be heard from afar for a reason; the water is running faster, and it's higher than it should be.

“Melting snow and the recent storm?” Jesse asks for reassurance, so you and your Uncle give it to him because that is the only reason the water is so high.

“Yep.” You sigh.

Luckily, a wide tree has fallen over the river, so you will save time and energy by crossing to reach the other side, but how steady is it against the rushing water is the important question.

“We’ll cross one by one,” your Uncle suggests as you keep your eyes on the fallen tree to see if it’ll move.

“But don’t get off your horse. Just keep the pace slow and steady,” your Uncle adds. “Questions?”

You shake your head, and Jesse turns his head to look at him, but doesn’t give any notes. “Yeah. That sounds good. I trust you.”

You draw out a deep breath and nod along. “Me too,” you echo and then look back at the tree before you interject. “Jesse, you go first.”

Your Uncle and Jesse look at you, and they get ready to argue, but you snap your eyes to Jesse and insist. “Go. I’ll go right after you. Just don’t look back. Eyes forward and don’t panic or the horse will panic, hm?”

Jesse finds your insistence to go first annoying because he wants you to get across safely first, just in case something goes wrong, but there’s no point arguing. Thus, before you can waste any more time, Jesse nudges his horse and moves forward.

At first, the horse seems hesitant to climb on the tree because the river is loud and walking on a tree hasn’t been common for them to do, but after some sweet and quiet comforting from Jesse, the horse climbs on and slowly begins to take Jesse across.

You stay behind and don’t dare to move an inch because you don’t want to risk spooking his horse or even moving a pebble on the ground, in case that somehow makes the tree move.

You hold your breath and grow more tense by the second. A part of you wants to rush Jesse so he can get across as soon as possible, but the other part of you is logical and keeps you quiet as you watch every step with laser focus.

No part of you is at ease until finally, Jesse reaches the other side successfully.

“Great job!” You praise and clap for both the horse and him.

“Thank you, now come across,” he urges you without really soaking in the great achievement so as not to risk anything changing in the tree's stability or the rushing water.

Your Uncle takes that under consideration and presses you, too. “You heard him. Go. I’m right behind you. Nice and slow.”

You glance at him and nod in comprehension, but you don’t hesitate or take any of their warnings under consideration. What used to worry you and keep you tense doesn’t affect you now that it’s your turn. You don’t rush across. You take it slow and ease your horse on the tree, but you don’t hold the same anxiety that you noticed in Jesse when he crossed.

You don’t hold a sense of cockiness either. You just don’t care when it comes to you crossing. Maybe that’s what changed when you cross, or maybe it was just the rushing water smacking against the tree. Either way, the movement is small at first, it makes your heart skip a beat, and it makes Jesse and your Uncle move their horses forward.

The second time the tree moves, your horse slips. Yet you don’t react with fear and scream for help when you crash into the water and fall off your horse. You don’t panic when the force of the water shoves you under its angry waves either.

You feel a sense of relief, and when you hit the back of your head against a rock on the river floor, there’s ecstasy that rushes through your blood seconds before it all goes black.

At first, you expect the darkness to be fleeting. You expect to wake up and see the cloudy sky, but when you open your eyes, that ecstasy runs faster when you see your house.

Not your small yellow house in Jackson, no. You’re in front of your house in Austin, Texas. You’re home, and it’s just as you left it before the outbreak. Nothing is overgrown, the windows aren’t broken, and the roof isn’t crumbling. It’s in a perfect state, and you don’t question why it’s so.

You don’t even ask why you’re standing in front of it. You just grin with genuine glee and cut across the lawn. When you reach the door, you hesitate to steady your heartbeat before you open the door and immediately get greeted by everything you once knew.

Everything is the same. Nothing is out of place, not a pillow on the couch, and not a speck of dust. The one difference is that the sun shines through the windows, brightening and warming up the living room. Oh, and there’s a smell. A good smell that awakens your appetite, so you follow it across the living room and into the kitchen, noticing right away that it’s lively past the back door. There’s a long picnic table outside adorned with a simple yet cute white tablecloth, and plates and silverware are set on top of it waiting to be used.

Who did all this? You ask yourself, and slowly walk to the back door to try and see who’s outside.

Yet before you can even reach for the door, someone walks up to the door, someone you spent missing longer than you knew them. Someone you often think about and frequently miss. Someone sweet and beautiful, Sarah.

She’s in a nice sun dress that complements her skin. She dons a small amount of mascara, a pink lip gloss that makes her lips shiny, and when she reaches the door and faces you, she offers you her incredible smile that drives you to her without even thinking about it.

You should have. You should have hesitated opening the door and stepping outside, but you’re too happy and too ready to even hesitate. You just throw your arms around your sister again and hold her close.

“Sarah,” you whisper with a break in your voice as tears fill your eyes. “I missed you,” you add, and feel her hold you back.

“Me too,” she says sweetly, and it’s those words alone that make you feel safe again. Like the world couldn’t hurt you, and you were invincible. You felt like a little girl again back in 2003, and you enjoyed it. You made yourself at home in your sister's embrace in this peaceful afterlife.

“I…I really missed you,” you express yourself again before you pull back and face her sweet and young face, catching your reflection in her light, earthy eyes and seeing your face unchanged. You're just all dolled up in a sundress, just like her.

“I’m still older,” she reminds you, and you don’t deny her.

You laugh and assure her.

“Always,” you say, and then from one moment to another, the sound of a giggle steals your attention. When you look over, tending to the grill is a woman with her back turned to you, so you can’t take note of her face, you just see her hair and the color of her skin, but after that, it’s easy to guess that it’s your mother.

You don’t need to see her face, you know for certain because next to her is your dad.

“Daddy,” you call out with a quiver, and as said man turns to give you his attention, you march over there, but don’t embrace him like you did with Sarah. You face him with your face pampered with tears and immediately try to share your pain.

“Daddy, I’m…it…I’m sorry.” You cry while said man stays quiet, but grabs your shoulders to make you meet his gaze before he wipes away your tears.

“Come sit,” you hear Sarah say from the other end of the table. “The food is ready.”

You hold your dad's gaze, but he quickly looks away to point at an empty seat at the end of the table with a name card you can’t read. Nor do you intend to read right now.

You part from your dad and once again, without hesitation, you follow Sarah and sit at the end of the table next to her. There’s no question about it, and you don’t look back for anyone. You just take your seat and wait, seeing your dad sitting at the other end of the table across from you before the food comes. He then looks at an empty seat next to him and this time you read the name card, ‘Ellie Williams.’.

You gasp and feel a pull. At last, in the bliss, there’s a pull.

Yet you forget all about it when the woman at the grill finally turns and shows you a face you have only seen in pictures; your mother.

She turns with the food in her hands and walks over to you first to serve you.

“Mama,” you whisper happily, earning a sweet smile that makes you want to stay even more so you can keep seeing her smile. You don't want to leave. You want to stay here with her, Sarah, and your dad. It’s a choice, and you want to take it. You’re ready. It’s why you came on this trip, to reunite with them. It wasn’t Ellie who brought you on this trip; it was the need to be with your family, and you’re finally with them. Now, every muscle in your body is telling you not to look back.

Albeit as your mother walks away, you follow her with your eyes and in doing so, you catch the other empty chairs with name cards of their own.

Next to you on your left is ‘Theo Holloway.’ Next to him and in the middle is ‘Apollo Holloway’, and of course, next to him is Ellie.

Their seats are empty, and they will be empty for a while.

That thought makes you feel that pull stronger than before, but you’re still hesitant because of Sarah and your mother. You want to stay with them and him too, but when you look at him, without saying it, he’s urging you to go back.

“Please,” he finally speaks with tears welling in his eyes.

“But,” you try to argue, but stop to look at the empty seats again. “What good am I there?” You ask and look at him again. “I couldn’t save you. You’re dead because of me, and I…couldn't handle the weight of it. It was crushing me. I feel…weightless here. Happy. Please let me stay. I want to stay.”

You will. It’s your choice and you’re making it…

But there’s also Ellie…if you can’t handle the weight, how is she fairing? Dina was there when your dad died, but she can’t possibly feel the same crushing weight or the same heartache that never stops hurting. Only you and Ellie know that feeling, and if you stay…she has no one…

Damn it…

“Daddy,” you say softly, and without saying it he finally smiles at you, making that gesture and his face be the last thing you see before it’s all taken away and you’re in that lodge, seeing him die again for a fleeting second before you’re transported back to life panicked and surrounded by dark rushing water for a moment before you’re yanked out and thrown on the ground where you cough out water and try to draw in the air that will keep you alive.

“Oh, thank god!” Jesse gasps while your uncle grabs your arm to sit you up to pat your back to help you get all the water out.

Once you’ve gathered your breath and stopped with your coughing fit, your uncle throws his arms around you, feeling all the weight of the world rise off his shoulders as he sees that you’re okay now.

“Thank god,” he whispers. “I thought I lost ya there for a second.”

You rest your chin on his shoulder and look anything but relieved.

That feeling will pass, but right now you’re more disappointed than grateful because you got taken away from everything you wanted. Peace, bliss, and your home.

Still, your uncle doesn’t notice that, but Jesse does. He just doesn’t say anything on the matter and instead watches you look ahead blankly whilst you relish in your Uncle's embrace.

“You might have a concussion, so let’s call today a day. There seems to be a town nearby. We can find some to hold up there,” your uncle suggests as he pulls away from the embrace to very swiftly walk around you to check on your head as if rehearsed, or fallen back to old habits from your early years traveling together.

“It’s abandoned,” you input, and let your Uncle check on you, realizing that at that moment, your horse is alive, just soaked and unharmed. You got the worst of the fall. “At least the last time I passed it was. I didn’t even encounter any infected.”

“But it doesn’t mean there isn’t any,” Jesse interjects, making your uncle agree.

“That’s true. What’s the last place you stayed at, Sunny?” Your Uncle asks as he moves away to grab the blanket off his horse to wrap it around you.

“No,” you shake your head. “We didn’t stay. We passed by, but I did see a bank. A pretty big one. It could have a vault.”

Your uncle stays quiet for a moment before he nods. “Okay. We’ll check it out. Come on, let’s get you out of those wet clothes so we can go. You don’t have any cuts or anything concerning, but we’ll just have you stay out of any action for a while.”

“Okay,” you agree without a fight and follow him to borrow some clothes since everything you own, even your horse, is soaked.

Once you get yourself situated, you get back on the road and don’t take long to come across the town you talked about, finding it empty of any people and infected. Or at least, the infected aren’t roaming the streets. If people were here, it’d be obvious, instead, it’s a ghost town, and that raises the hairs on the back of your neck rather than making you feel relaxed.

It's a good thing you stick to the bank and don’t take time to explore a thing, who knows what monsters lurk in the shadows.

“The horses look like they fit through the rubble,” your uncle Tommy lets you and Jesse know before he walks out to grab his horse's reins and leads her inside.

You don’t doubt your Uncle, so you follow behind him with your horse, and then Jesse trails after you.

When you’re inside and making your way further inside the bank, you can’t help but be taken aback just a little by the state of the entrance of the bank. It’s one of the few things you like about this new world; man-made things slowly being taken over by Mother Earth. It can be a breathtaking sight, and the entrance of the bank is one of those sights.

The entrance is collapsed in it on itself, letting in only sparse beams of light inside through broken windows and cracks on the cement, leaving it pretty dim, but it’s the right amount of light to let you see how moss and greenery have slowly claimed the destruction, and the way the puddled rain water glimmers on the ground.

“It’d suck to make it this far in our trip and get killed by debris,” Jesse comments as he follows you, and you follow your Uncle through the maze that debris made.

“Don’t worry.” Your Uncle chuckles. “It’s probably been like this for years. It ain't collapsin’ today…maybe.”

You muster a smile, and Jesse feigns a laugh at your Uncle’s very reassuring comment.

“I see a way inside just over there,” your Uncle points out, but you don’t catch what he does right away. You have to walk in just a little further to see the gap he pointed out, and once you do, you and Jesse go completely serious again.

However, before you can walk through the gap to see what the inside holds, your uncle brings you all to a stop to listen first.

You don’t hear anything right away, so your Uncle grabs a pebble and throws it inside, causing two growls to respond, and letting you see a picture of what you could find inside. Albeit it’s blurry since you can’t be sure if it’s just two infected until you’re inside.

“Okay, Jesse, you’ll go in with me and help me take out the infected. Sunny,” he whispers directly at you before you can argue. “You stay here until I come back to give you all the clear, okay?” He presses, and you part your lips to argue, but he cuts in right away.

“I wasn’t askin’ for your opinion. I just wanted to know if you caught all that.”

You huff and challenge his gaze for a second before you nod stiffly.

“Good. Now keep your eyes and ears open,” he reminds you before he turns away and leads the way again. You don’t cross that threshold, but you walk to the edge and peek out, catching a glimpse of Jesse and your Uncle before you hear the nerve-wracking sound of clickers, giving the answer as to what kind of infected the men will be facing, and making you think about disobeying your Uncle.

You believe that both men will be able to handle the clickers, but it doesn't take away from the fact that you’ll be a big advantage.

Yet, you don’t jump down to the ground floor to join them. You stay put and watch them creep away and get out of sight to try and catch the clickers off guard to make as little fuss as possible.

You try to strain your ear, but you can hear the clicking sound of clickers, which is a good thing. It means their plan to sneak up on them is working.

However, it’s because it’s quiet and you’re trying to be even quieter that you hear the sound of rubble falling in the water. At first, you think nothing of it. It must be natural because of the state of this place, but you hear it again, and followed by that is the sound of bare flesh hitting the cement.

It can’t be your horses because you left them near the entrance, plus their hoofs wouldn’t sound like that. It’s…some kind of infected, and basing it off how quiet it is, you’re assuming it’s a Stalker.

You can only be sure if you look, so you slowly reach for your revolver before you very slowly start to churn your head.

Just as you catch a glimpse of its ugly face and prove that it’s in fact a Stalker, suddenly the monster lunges at you, causing you to scream, and since you’re on the ledge, you lose balance and fall inside the bank with your back slamming on the ground and the infected landing on top of you.

The noise of the altercation alerts the clickers, making Jesse and your Uncle have to resort to charging at them instead. All while you try with all your might to hold the Stalker back and keep it from biting you, and honestly, finding a way to get it off you is quite easy. You can do it, but you choose to struggle. You see the potential in letting it take a nip of your flesh and choose to struggle.

And oh, the thought of having no choice but to accept death's comforting embrace is tempting because it means that you would be able to be there again. The peaceful afterlife you left. There would be no choice around it, you would be there again with Sarah, your mom, and most importantly, your dad.

You’d get to apologize for not trying harder this time. You’d remind him that you love him and that no place could ever be home if he wasn’t with you. Most importantly, you’d be able to feel like you aren’t getting choked and crushed by the incredible weight pressing down on you.

You’d be weightless and pain-free…

Yet just as you start to picture that perfect afterlife, the image of Ellie’s empty chair flashes in your mind, and your mind is bombarded with the thought of her.

Guilt and the reminder of why you chose to live in the first place seeps right back inside, and you gain the will and the might to shove the Stalker off of you.

Before it can come charging at you or go hide, you drag yourself to your ass and hit the trigger of your gun not just once, but three times until you make sure it won’t even twitch.

After that, once the Stalker is dead, you look for your Uncle and Jesse, catching your Uncle hitting his armored Clicker with the end of his rifle over and over again. It’s already dead, but he keeps hitting it with so much force that its head gets crushed into smithereens.

Jesse, on the other hand, seemed to have shot his clicker and left it alone once it was lifeless, so you catch him walking over to you now.

“Is it clear?” You ask as he walks over.

“The commotion would have made any others come out so, it seems like it, yeah,” he assures you, and the moment he reaches you, he offers you his hand like a nice gentleman, so you accept his help and get up on your feet with some struggle.

There’s no sharp pain. Just aches from all the falling today.

Nevertheless, your uncle seems to snap out of whatever spell had him obliterating that Clicker, the moment he catches a glimpse of you standing on your given height.

At first, he calls out your name as his contorted face comes undone and expresses pure concern. After that, he rushes over to you. “Are you okay?” He asks as he studies you. “You weren’t bit were you?”

You meet his dark, worried gaze and feel more guilt hitting you for wanting to leave your Uncle behind when all he does is worry about you.

“No,” you assure him softly, and without thinking, you step forward to wrap him in an embrace that catches him off guard. “I’m okay. Thank you,” you whisper as your eyes get glossy.

“Good,” your Uncle scoffs with confusion mixing with his relief. “I’m glad. Now, why don’t we find the vault to rest? You need it.”

“We all do,” you add and pull back to face both men.

“Come on then,” your uncle says without wasting another minute before leading the way through the now empty bank.

“I wonder why that clicker had armor on,” you fill the silence as you walk past the armored clicker. “Is that how armed the security was at banks?”

“No,” your Uncle answers your curiosity. “There were securities sometimes, but never armed like that. Not unless someone was trying to rob the bank.”

You hum and let a short silence fall as you reach the deposit box area, finding at that moment, an old corpse by an empty duffle bag.

That explains the armored Clicker and the other clicker Jesse took down.

“Oh, would you look at that?” Your Uncle muses as all three of you walk into the room.

“It didn’t seem like it was his lucky day,” Jesse comments as you look at the scene on the floor.

“A lot of people started breaking into banks when the outbreak happened,” your Uncle shares as he walks to the duffle to look through it. “With the whole world erupting into chaos, everyone thought it would be easy to get rich or get stuff otherwise unattainable. I guess nobody thought it would be the end of the world until it was.”

You walk away to look around at all the deposit boxes still locked and hiding riches that will always be hidden away.

“Why would people keep stuff here?” Jesse asks as he also departs from your Uncle to also take a look around.

“Well, this place was protected, so instead of leaving it all vulnerable at home, some people trusted the bank to keep their money or valuables safe.”

“I saw this movie with Apollo once where the bank workers would replace the jewelry with fake jewelry to be able to cash it,” you mention and sigh as you start to miss your husband and your baby.

“Oh yeah,” Jesse chimes in as he snaps his fingers. “I’ve seen that movie before. It was really good.”

You hum and start to drag your feet. “I miss Apollo and Teddy. I wish phones worked,” you grumble and turn as you see nothing worthwhile—“that’s something I miss.”

Your Uncle gets up with a paper in hand and chuckles at you. “You were four before, who would you call?” He teases.

You grab your back straps and start to walk back towards him. “Well, you,” you remind him, making him scoff in amusement. “And I would call…my…dad,” you trail off into a whisper. “That’s all, but hey,” you say louder with a faint smile. “I have people I can call now. That’s why I miss them.”

“We’ll be back home soon,” your Uncle tries to assure you. “Now, thank these stupid bank robbers for leaving the code to the vault,” your uncle shows off. “We’ll be able to stay inside for the night and not have a lookout.”

Jesse claps quietly, and you look over at the corpse. “Thank you,” you direct at if before you follow your uncle to the giant metal door.

You try to help after he unlocks it, but he pushes you away and makes Jesse help open the door.

“And welcome,” your uncle tries to make light of the night. “Take a breath and take the night off from all the worry. We’ll be able to sleep comfortably tonight.”

“Is that so?” Jesse doubts the area, and he has every right to, but your uncle is right.

“Yeah, it is,” you assure him as you walk in first, seeing a skeleton inside. Only this one dons armor, and holds onto a shotgun they seemed to have used to end their misery.

“We would stay in places like this often,” you continue as you grab the armored skeleton and drag it out past the big door so it’s not an eyesore in the room.

“If someone does try to come in, we’ll hear them struggle to open the door,” your Uncle adds. “That will give us time to react. That’s why Joel chose to stay in places like these in the beginning. Sunny was a little girl, so we took extra precautions.”

You don’t comment on the memory or try to recall those old days. You drop the skeleton and walk back inside to wander around, seeing that the deposit boxes are open in this room, so you snoop through them as Jesse and your Uncle gather abandoned money to use for a fire to have light and make the room warm.

“What would the old you from the old world think about you doing this?” Jesse asks your Uncle. “I mean you were all dependent on this, weren’t you?”

“Well, first, I would assume I was insane or crazy rich,” your uncle says. “And second, yes, this was once our livelihood. We didn’t have a lot of it, but…we were happy.”

“I sometimes wonder what my life would’ve looked like if I got to live in the old world,” Jesse keeps filling the silence, making you peer over with an amused smile. “Maybe I would’ve been in construction like you.”

Your uncle scoffs. “Ah, nah. Think bigger. I was lame.”

“You said you were happy,” Jesse counters, making you smirk. “Doesn’t sound bad to me.”

Your uncle goes quiet for a moment, and a match strikes before he offers him a response. “I never appreciated it until after. Until it was all gone. I imagine that was everyone’s life story.”

You turn away from the pair and hear a fire start as you continue to snoop through, noticing a silver ring in one of the open boxes and immediately taking it as you think about Apollo.

“Look at this,” you call for everyone's attention and turn to show the ring off. “You think Apollo will like it?” You ask as you bring the ringer closer, as you see words engraved on it. “His wedding band is good, but I always wanted something better for him. This looks better. Besides, he deserves it for being so understanding of my decision.”

“I think it’ll be nice, Sunny, take it,” your uncle backs up your choice before he also sounds thoughtful. “I should get something for Maria and Benji too.”

You smile at him and assure him. “I’ll keep my eye out for you,” you let him know, and finally recognize that the words engraved on the ring are Latin, but you have no idea what it means.

‘Sic Parvis Magna’

Apollo's dad can probably figure it out. He was a university teacher who taught about Ancient Greece and other ancient stuff.

“Thank you,” your uncle says back. “Now, let's close that door and gather for dinner. We should take advantage of the extra security to get as much sleep as we can before we have to leave. Plus, you,” he points at you. “You need to rest. You’ve been through it today. You need it.”

You hum in agreement and go on to help with what you can, or with what they let you help with. Which is not a lot, they let you take tonight easy because of your concussion and the tumble that left your body aching.

It does feel quite odd letting yourselves be so relaxed though, after weeks on the road having to be on guard and look over your shoulder. So much so that at first you’re all so tense, but after a while, once you’re all reassured that no one is coming in and no infected is lurking outside, you all exhale and let yourselves loose. You share stories, and mostly answer Jesse’s curiosities about the old world because he likes to hear about your Uncle’s past, and no matter how many times you’ve heard it, you never tire of the stories he tells.

There was even a moment when you were all gathered around the fire that you laughed. You genuinely laughed a hearty laugh.

The action felt so foreign yet so…good, like everything that torments you would be temporary and you’d be alright.

Maybe you should’ve hung onto that feeling to try and mend your broken soul, but you remembered why you’re so far from home and the events that caused it, and that small taste of healing vanishes, leaving your world broken again.

Only as you come off this high, you hurt so much worse. As if it happened for the first time. That’s why you can’t sleep, or you choose not to, because you know the nightmares that await you, and Apollo is not here to keep you grounded or make you feel safe.

Staying awake won’t help you feel better about your injuries, but you’d rather spend a sleepless night than have to go through the memories that torment you at night. Besides, it seems like you’re not the only one awake.

In the darkness that swallows the room, you see Jesse getting out of his sleeping bag, so after a while of giving him time to himself, you join him in a corner filled with more stacks of money.

“It’s crazy to me that this paper controlled the world,” he whispers thoughtfully.

“I had a piggy bank once,” you share as you’re on the topic of money again. “I kept my allowance in it. Of course, I wouldn’t get the big bucks like my sister, but I would get dollar bills from my dad, my uncle, or the neighbors.”

Jesse chuckles, and you smile softly.

“Oh yeah, I was really well-liked, but that’s beside the point,” you brush it off and continue with your story. “I was saving up for this beautiful princess tea set. That was all I was saving up for, so when the time came to go buy it, I collected all my money, went to the store, grabbed my princess tea set, and put my money on the counter…guess how much I had.”

Jesse shakes his head before he gives you a response. “More than enough?”

You scoff. “Five dollars. The princess tea set was fifteen.”

“So all that saving up…what was it for?”

You sigh. “Ice cream and candy. I had wasted my money on ice cream and candy. Every time I went to the store or the ice cream truck passed, I used my money. That’s where it all went,” you share with disappointment. “I was devastated.”

“Let me guess,” Jesse adds. “Your dad put in the rest?”

You smile softly right away and nod. “Yeah, he did, and then when we got home, I dressed up my dad and my sister, and we had tea.” You smile wider at the faint memory, but as the darkness once again consumes you, you grow sorrowful.

A silence proceeds to blanket you and Jesse for a moment, letting you both take a seat on the uncomfortable stack of money and focus on nothing and everything the room holds.

“Can I ask you something?” Jesse asks, breaking the silence and drifting your gaze to him.

“Shoot,” you encourage him, making him sigh and welcome a short silence before he lifts his head and turns it to face you.

At first, you can’t make him out in the darkness, but as he lets the silence build, you slowly make out his face, catching a boy-like curiosity. Not one that makes his eyes twinkle, but a curiosity that adds a weight to the conversation, as you know he’s about to be vulnerable.

“How can you put on such a brave face in the face of danger?” He finally asks, making your eyebrows twitch together before you question something.

“You aren’t a coward. I actually admire your bravery and your courage. You're hard to scare, so what do you mean?”

Jesse sighs deeply and averts his gaze to explain himself. “Today, when you fell in the river, you looked anything but scared. And earlier, with that Infected, your face never once showed a glimpse of fear. Are you just used to this world? Or what’s your secret? I’m genuinely curious.”

You falter, and that secret you’ve been keeping from them threatens to come out. “I am scared,” you reveal. “All the time, I just…” You trail off and swallow thickly, feeling your secret press harder to come out as it's just you and him. Your uncle is sleeping, it's just you and Jesse.

Yet it’s the thought that Jesse will know that makes you fight to keep in what you feel.

“I won’t share your secret,” he presses, making your eyes flicker back to him and feel your breath hitch, but that need to keep everything in keeps holding on.

“…I just can’t let it get the best of me,” you continue with what you were saying. “Or it will consume me…” You trail off again and drop your head, hiding that desperate desire to speak your mind.

“I’m sorry,” Jesse cuts in, changing the subject bluntly. “When I went to you about going after Ellie, I pushed. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have.”

You shrug softly. “I needed it. I couldn’t afford letting her get days ahead or even reach Seattle before I made up my mind,” you assure him before you face him and probe. “Why did you come though? Is it to help Dina?”

He scoffs and shakes his head. “No, it’s not just about her,” he shares. “It’s about Ellie, too. I would have gone with them if they had asked. Begrudgingly, but I would have. My friends' problems are my problems.”

You smile in admiration right away as you nod slowly in comprehension. “Nice,” you praise him and avert your gaze again.

As Jesse doesn’t get what he was initially searching for, he boldly crosses that threshold you had kept between you, your uncle, and him.

“What was that hesitation with the infected about?”

You act surprised, but he’s not as patient anymore. He’s persistent and worried.

“I promised my friend Apollo I would look after you, I intend to keep my promise.”

You scoff softly and shake your head, hesitating just a moment longer but finally finding a foothold to slowly tear that wall down. “That day my dad died,” you begin to share slowly. “They caught me off guard, and no matter how hard I tried, how reckless I was, I couldn’t help him. I couldn’t…I couldn’t save him, and now I see it every day as if it happened yesterday. It torments me while I’m awake and in my sleep, and I can’t…it’s,” your voice quivers. “It’s crushing me. That’s why I came…to find an end to my torment because it hurts. It hurts so much.” You cry but immediately cover your mouth to not wake up your uncle.

“It’s selfish, I know,” you say what you assume Jesse is thinking. “But that’s my secret. A desire to die.” You exhale deeply and slide your hands off your face before you keep going as you can’t make yourself stop and need to make it sound better.

“And I found it. My escape. When I fell into that river, I had a choice. I was…home in Texas, and I felt so weightless. Not only that, but I was with…her…my sister, my mom, and…my dad. I was home, and it felt…so good. Every bone and muscle in my body told me to stay,” you whisper. “I felt that need so deeply inside me that for a moment…it was no longer a choice, but then…there was an empty chair with a name card on it. Ellie’s,” you pause and wipe the tears off your cheeks.

“I tried to fight myself, but then I thought of how alone she’ll be, and I know…I know she has you, Dina, and everyone else, but there’s this connection only she and I share. A connection only she and I know because no one loved him like we did and…I thought about how alone she would be if I did slip away, and…that thought brought me back. She did,” you finish saying and keep wiping tears off your face.

“I’m sorry,” Jesse tries to offer some consolation. “And I think you made the right choice. As costly as it seemed.”

You sniffle. “I’m horrible,” you can’t help but spill. “I didn’t even think about my family. I was so ready. It hurt so much to come back because I was with him, but then I wasn’t. I…I,” you can’t finish saying, and drop your head to cry as quietly as possible.

“Just,” you add as you wipe your face and face him again. “Don’t tell anyone, okay? Especially not her. I’ll be good now,” you reassure him. “I’m trying. I am. For her.”

“I won’t,” Jesse whispers as he watches how much you struggle to stop from sobbing.

He had watched you from his seat the entire time because he didn’t know how to help, but now as he sees you crying but also trying to stop, he cups your shoulder before he wraps his arm around your shoulders and pulls you in against him so you can find some comfort in his embrace.

And you do. In your most vulnerable moment, you find comfort in your friend.

——

*SOMETIME LATER. SEATTLE*

“The Evergreen State, home of the Dodgers,” you break the silence as you come across a trail sign that gives two different directions; one that points to Arboretum and the Seattle Trail. You all follow the Seattle Trail, of course.

“No,” your uncle snorts. “Not even close. Mariners.”

“Oh.”

“Los Ángeles was home to the Dodgers.”

You rest your chin on your horse's head and become reminiscent. “Apollo watches old Re-runs of baseball games with his dad and brother. I can never get into them though. It’s the same games over and over again.”

“They could say the same thing about your movies,” your Uncle quips, making you loll your head to the side to look at him with a pointed glare.

“Yeah. I’ll let you have that old man,” you mutter. “Touché.”

You then continue to sigh and glance up at the tall green trees that almost touch the sky. Wyoming doesn’t have trees this tall, you wish there were because they’re so fascinating, but you’re also so terrifying in a sense. They’re like giants.

“I’ll give it to Washington. Their forests are beautiful,” you muse. “They’re so…green…” You trail off and glance at your two trusted companions, catching Jesse not even giving you the time of day, while your uncle rolls his eyes, making you smile faintly before you sit up. At that moment, catching the whiff of something completely foul.

The further you walk, the stronger that smell gets. It even burns your nose, but the smell is not strange. You all know it well and don’t take long to come across the violent scene in the middle of the dirt path.

You are only a few miles in, and you’re already coming across corpses of what were once living humans. Not infected. And it’s not just a couple; just past the thickness of some greenery is a group of them. All slaughtered and all seeming to be donning similar green coats that almost make them go unnoticed if their pale, lifeless face didn’t stand out against the dark dirt.

“Do these look like W.L.F? Could it have been them?” Jesse asks as he studies the violent scene to make sure that neither of the women you knew was amongst them.

“No,” you ease his worry. “These don’t look like W.L.F. They were ordinary clothes and,” you pause and look back at the body of the man you passed with a white painted symbol that was nothing like a wolf. This symbol is like…an eye? Or something astrological?

“…they didn’t have that symbol or use the same coat,” you let Jesse and your Uncle know. “But…these are too many to have been taken down by Dina and Ellie alone. Maybe it was W.L.F. That girl,” you avoid saying her name. “Did hint at Seattle being dangerous. Or something…so maybe this is a glimpse of it.”

Your Uncle hums before you hear him tighten his hands against his reign.

“Whatever it may be,” your uncle comments with his eyes narrowed ahead. “Let’s try not to get caught in the middle of it and hope Dina and Ellie are trying to do the same. Come on, it's better not to stop. Someone could be close.”

You steal one glance at the violent scene, and from what you can tell, they were all taken down by gunshots, and a lot of them died with melee weapons. No firearms.

Maybe they got taken after they died?

Whatever the case, you push away your curiosities and pay even closer attention to the tall trees, just in case there’s people hiding up there like when you were in Kansas.

Luckily, besides critters and birds, there’s nothing else that inhabits the trees, and after crossing a few miles, you find the freeway and thankfully leave the thick of the woods.

You are far more exposed now because you don’t have the cover of the trees, which is the downside, but at least you don’t have to be scared that there's people lurking up there.

Now all you have to worry about is if there’s people lurking around you, or if you’ve been accidentally spotted. So far, everything along the freeway is truly abandoned. There’s no sign of life or Infected, just Mother Earth consuming the manmade cars that were left on the freeway, and the manmade highway itself.

Eventually, you end up at the end of a bridge that either deteriorated or was blown up like the other major cities. Either way, you reach the high point and get the perfect view of the city, wondering instead of admiring what dangers such a beautiful city holds.

Ellie is somewhere inside there. In danger, hiding, close to Abby, or…hurt. You can’t think of the other alternative. It’s too grim and threatens to shove you back into that coma-like state.

“Listen,” your uncle interjects. “When we enter the city. We’ll take our separate ways. Sunny, you and Jesse stick together, and I’ll go off alone,” your uncle brings up without facing you because he knows he’ll see your disbelief and disagreement.

“No,” he blurts before you can cut in. “You cannot come with me,” he makes you shut up. “We’ll cover more ground this way, and I'd prefer it if Jesse didn’t go off alone. So yes, you have to stay with him.”

You huff and pout as you stare off at the nearby city.

“We’ll meet up again in the morning,” he continues and points to a spot on a map you found in an abandoned gas station just before you got into the city.

“What if you end up in danger? How are we supposed to find you then?” You argue either way and snap your head to pierce your glare into him. “The city is fucking huge. It’s better if we stick together! That girl said this place was dangerous!”

“And if we stick together, we won’t even cover a quarter of the city,” your uncle argues and finally faces you. “If we separate, we cover more ground, so I’m not arguin’ with you about it.”

You scowl and look away to grumble your defeated response. “Fine.”

“Take care of each other, and if you find the girls, throw them on your horses or tie them. Whatever it is, just bring them back. Okay?”

“Okay,” Jesse confirms that he understands what you need to do, making your uncle move his horse closer to you to pick on you now.

“We'll meet in the mornin’. I swear.”

You slowly look back at him as you hear his attempt to assure you and keep your frown plastered as you retort. “If not, I will come after ya. I’m not goin’ home without you. Together, remember?” You bring up since it seems appropriate now that you’re traveling on the road like the old days.

“How can I forget?” he says lightheartedly and flashes you a small smile. “Now let’s go. Let’s see each other off.”

Knowing he’s right, but not admitting it, you continue toward the city. Yet the only difference is when you come off the highway, you break apart like the old faded lanes that lead to different streets of what was once a buzzling city.

You and Jesse try to keep quiet as you roam the quiet streets, not because you still don’t have the energy to make conversation. After your heart-to-heart with Jesse, that wall you kept up has slowly come down, and you let your voice be heard more. You’re not just a quiet listener anymore; you join their conversations and tell them stories about everything and anything that comes to mind. Even of the past. Or at least the parts that didn’t stab your heart to recollect. So that’s not why you keep quiet.

You don’t want to draw unwanted attention. You’re already walking through the city on horses, so you don’t want to put yourselves at even more risk by talking.

“We should find somewhere to hide our horses,” you bring up. “We’re gonna stick out regardless, but this way it’ll be somewhat easier to blend in.”

“Yeah,” Jesse sighs as he keeps scanning the area without daring to miss an inch. “That’s smart. One of these buildings shall do it. It’ll help if we keep them close to our way out of the city, just in case we have to make some hasty escape.”

You nod and scan the area until a music store catches your eye.

“There!” You point out. “The windows are covered. Let’s keep ‘em there.”

You nudge your horse to walk faster to reach the store quicker as you feel an inkling of excitement seep through.

Nevertheless, and as expected, the doors are closed.

“I’ll find a way in,” Jesse volunteers. “Stay here.”

Without another choice, you agree and watch him disappear into an alley before you start to look over your shoulders, making sure that you don’t catch anything suspicious, and finding yourself find this silence more terrifying than any monster.

Alas, nothing comes out from any corner or any building. The ghost is clear, and it seems that Jesse comes across the same luck because he opens the doors rather quickly.

“Look at you,” you muse as you hop off your horse to lead yours and Jesse’s inside. “Good job.”

“Team Jackson!” He exclaims and puts his hand up to offer you a high five as you reach the doors.

“Yeah!” You giggle and let the reins go to give him a high five. “Team Jackson!”

“The store is clear and by the looks of it, it has grass growing in so they can eat that while we’re gone,” he says after you return to the horses and continue to lead them inside.

Once he closes the doors behind you and barricades the store again, you let the reins go and let yourself be in complete awe by the store.

“What richness,” you muse as you take in all the different kinds of music that's still left behind. “If only I had infinite space in my backpack. I’d take it all home, oh, and look!” You point out and run over to the folk section to snatch a Joan Baez album off the shelf. “My queen of Folk music, Joan Baez. My uncle said my mama loved her.” You smile at the album but also curse the fact that you can’t play it right now.

“If only we had room. All this music wouldn’t collect dust at Jackson,” Jesse says, thinking more selflessly, whereas all you think about is your collection. “I’m sure…people would love to hear some of that be played at a fall fair?” He asks as he tries to discreetly press you to rethink about your abandoned dream of having a fair at Jackson.

Lately, him and your uncle have been bringing up the idea, but that excitement and dream died with…your dad. You just let both men try to insist because you don’t want to be rude and turn them down. They can still have a fair, you just won’t be a part of it.

“Hm, maybe,” you say without that initial enthusiasm, and put the album down to start walking down the site with your fingers raising the dust off the music people forgot about.

“Let’s head out before we lose more time here,” you bring an end to all the excitement and return a sorrow that was such a constant companion in your group.

Once you collect the things you need and go back outside, the tension lingers until you speak up “Joan Baez has a song called ‘Jesse’. Fun fact.”

Said man glances over at you and probes. “Really?”

You glance at him, too, and nod. “Yep. When we get back home, listen to it. Maybe it’s not your thing, but it’s still cool. You can pretend she’s singing about you, considering your girl might have been stolen.”

He rolls his eyes but doesn’t get hurt or bothered by your comment.

“Maybe you are right,” he mutters. “After this. Maybe I’ll take your advice about officially cutting things off.”

You pat his shoulder. “Yeah, I would like that for you. You’re young, take advantage of that and explore your options. Or don’t. Up to you. Maybe you’ll meet someone here. Won’t that be romantic?” You tease, making him crack a smile.

“I guess I’ll see. Maybe this trip has changed Dina. Maybe we can work things out,” he says, and as to not take sides, you give him the benefit of the doubt.

“Yeah. Maybe. We’ll have to find her to know. Hopefully they’re okay,” you trail off into a whisper.

“I’m sure they will be,” he tries to assure him and you. “They’re smart and work well together.”

You hum in agreement, and as you scan the area as you turn the corner, you think about Ellie and hope with every fiber of your body that she’s okay. You can’t…imagine her not being okay. The thought, it…utterly terrifies you and threatens to send you down that dark cycle again…

That’s why you hang onto Jesse’s attempt at reassuring you as you wander the streets of Seattle, trying to go undetected by the threats that make this city so dangerous.

However, just as you note how calm and quiet it’s all been, Abby’s warning starts to come into fruition as out of hiding, canisters hit the ground.

Jesse and you catch where the canisters land and notice that they’re smoke screens, but no matter how fast you react, you can’t avoid them. They go off, and your ears begin to ring, while your eyes begin to sting because of the thick clouds of smoke, and your lungs get polluted by the same poison, leaving you dazed and desperate to find Jesse.

He was next to you, he can’t be far.

“Jesse?!” You call out between coughs and pull out your gun as you begin to walk in the direction he was just in before the smoke broke you apart.

“Jesse?!”

Seconds later, your name is shouted back, and the smoke begins to clear from the air and your body by the second, so you’re less dazed, but you still can’t see him. Or anything else for that matter. You can only hear different footsteps all around you.

“Jesse!”

“Here,” a stranger speaks up for the man you’re looking for and comes out of the smoke with a mask and gun.

In response, you point yours at your head, but then, from behind you, before you can shoot, something cold and hard hits the back of your head, leading to a void of darkness.

.

.

.

.

.

A/N- some game scenes are you excited??

Tagged- @slut-f0r-u @star-wars-lover @maplecohen @givemylovetoall @itzagothamcitysiren @sammy-13 @beloved-reblogger @emiriia @rues-daya @sunfairyy @littleshadow17 @mcu-starwars @bigtuffswordboy @riaqiax @dheet @queenofthekill @joliettes @d4rno @hardbeingcasual @rana030 @pedropascalluvr41 @ahoyyharrington @beaniebeensbaby201 @maeneedsabreak @maelartasch @adristyles @daughterofthequeen @alastorhazbin @sunsumonner @khaylin27 @hypatia93 @hummusxx @v4mpyk1tten @1donoow @your-shifting-gurl @g4ns3y @izzzzy-the-amazing @aphr0d1teh @lovelyygirl8 @ivy-taylorsversion @mmkkzz @avitute @fuckmebobboys @kitdjarin1 @barnes70stark

[pansy-picnics]

Want to go more in depth into my ulla/library fight interpretations without adding like 6 paragraphs onto the reblogs/replies of my last post GAHAHAHAA so um. Faq/some explanations here….

1. Varian stopping himself from calling her “mom”/“if i really am your mother”

i VERY briefly mentioned this in the tags, but basically, in my head, the main reason ulla possessed varian is because she wholeheartedly saw him as a complete stranger. I wanted her to be really malicious and manipulative here— But i want to vaguely reiterate the fact that i truly don’t think ulla would treat him this way had she known he was her son. She’s batshit crazy, being in complete isolation for 18 years in a completely separate reality where time barely exists and even 18 years have felt like thousands— she’s so desperate to leave she’s completely willing to take advantage of everyone else- but her own kid? her baby?

Varian was one of the main reasons she even WANTED to leave- she always loved him. I think she had a lot of complex things going on and idk that she was ready to be a mother when she had him, but she truly loved him and wanted to come back to him….but she Does Not Recognize him at all because. Well shes basically lost all sense of time and reality, she can’t possibly bear the thought that time had moved on without her in any way. She doesn’t really remember who she is or what she looks like, so she cant recognize him by looks either. NOT TO MENTION var is trans in my head, so basically its like a triple whammy because ulla is 100% sure she has a daughter who is at most a year old and she wants to get back to her and her family. and suddenly this random teenage boy is coming in like Hey so I’m your son. I’D TWEAK OUT TOO LIKE WHO ARE YOUUUU.

So yeah. Varian does not call her mom, although he really really wants to. It just feels too weird to do so when shes completely unfazed by it- it’s like calling out to someone you used to know and them not even recognizing you. It hurts, but you just have to push it aside cuz…rlly what else can you do?

2. Is she a villain

I rlly rlly did want to frame her as a villain here and she DEFINITELY IS ONE but i see her as a very sympathetic one. I like keeping up w the tts theme of most everyone being redeemable or sympathetic in some way,,, And i must admit i have one of my friends to thank for getting me as attached to ulla and don as i am— So i have a lotttt of thoughts abt them and all their doomed yuri. Ultimately ulla was never truly evil to me and i don’t think she means any ill intent towards varian. i think she does eventually recognize him, too— but it’s not actually until she sees donella.

I mean think abt it- babies only have so many defining features. I can guarantee you if i showed you a picture of an adult who you’re only vaguely seen as a baby once like 18 yrs ago you wouldn’t be able to recognize them as the same person. But donnie? of course she remembers her, just as clearly as she remembers her baby— the one difference is that donella has the same face ultimately, so ofc ulla recognizes her immediately. but shes…different. older, grayer, wrinkled and Changed. The same face, but clearly different. it rlly makes her realize just how long it’s been, that varian really is that same baby she left behind— and it all hits her like a truck

i think when it actually hits her ulla truly is terrified of the person she’s become. theres so much she wants to say to varian, to don, to everyone— So many questions she wants to ask, but she can’t bring herself to say much of any of it. But she finally just has to accept that,,, time has moved on— but she hasn’t been forgotten. i think thats something she always feared— being forgotten and leaving nothing behind. And,,, I think that’s one of varian’s biggest fears, too. Obviously shes still Not fully there in the head and shes kinda just had a complete swing from a manic state to a breakdown. And yeah she’s definitely not gonna be let off the hook for the fact that she was still willing to manipulate and possess even a complete stranger just to get out. But she and varian do have a heart to heart, she gets some closure with don….and they all do understand where shes coming from.

3. What about varian? does he just forgive her for the whole possession thing?

Absolutely Not. in fact i think it fucks w him so so bad. i think since he was a very young child, varian’s always built up this Idea of ulla in his head— this perfect maternal figure he never had growing up. He was even more excited to hear abt their shared interests, and he really really hoped that finding the library, finishing her work, etc, would give him some kind of catharsis and closure…perhaps, ideally even finding her again, wherever she was. But..that didn’t happen. He found her, of course, but she wasn’t that mother he had always wanted or needed. She had completely lost herself, didn’t even recognize him— and she was downright hostile towards him. He has so many mixed feelings about it all— disappointment, rage, some kind of grief, for both that image of her he had in her head and the potential that he never got to see. but i do think, with both his uncle and don + quirin he eventually learns more abt the person she was before— how similar they were, how much he could relate to her, how she truly was just,, human.

In fact, i think pre-library ulla was a lot like rapunzel— always a free spirit, always searching and yearning for something more. not completely ready to settle down, but she tried to anyways. Tried to go on one last trip before she finally settled,, and then everything went wrong, and she ended up hurting the people she loved most. I think w how close varian is to rapunzel, how much he understands her— that resonates w him a LOT.

All in all, i think as he matures, varian is eventually able to come to terms with it for what it is. No, she wasn’t the mother he wanted or needed— and she did things he could never, and never will, forgive her for. but he still empathizes with her and hopes that, in another life, she could’ve finally been free, and happy.

4. The rest of team radical being at the library fight

already mentioned in a reblog but ill put it here for consistency’s sake

Yeah. I think honestly the possession fight would hit sm harder if it was hugo, nuru and yong all there trying to snap him out of it. Yeah hugo can give him the whole confession spiel but nuru and yong are like,, his younger siblings. he’s impacted them in so many ways and they deserve to be there!!! Them trying to talk him out of it would go SO HARD and it would be SO EMOTIONAL 😭 I do think hugo was ullas main target, i think yong and nuru come in a little later bc they’re still dealing w donellas lackeys outside but they obviously aren’t just gonna leave var and hugo there!!!!!

5. Can you write a fic/make the show

I fucking wish

Srsly tho i would absolutely LOVE to write a fic about my interpretation of vat7k (although i can hardly call it enough to make a fic, i rlly just have Very passionate ideas of like everyones dynamics and character arcs). My writing skills are decent but unfortunately im not to the point w writing as a hobby where it comes as naturally to me as drawing does, so it takes me a lot of extra effort to go out of my way to write. Can barely finish oneshots atp (Sorry to the children of the moon fans its been a fucking year. i promise have a draft for the next chapter i’ve been touching like. Once a week)

My writer friends are like holding me at gunpoint to practice more though so maybe ill be able to write some oneshots abt them one day,,,,,,,,,

[lilliryth]

I have such a hard time interacting with Stobotnik content post- movie 3 because of how most of it seems to be interested in Stone angst; like I get how it can be super fulfilling for people into that sort of thing, but the closest angst I can handle when it comes to them is a temporary heartbreak whilst Stone is semi-convinced but not entirely of Ivo’s death, meanwhile Ivo is stranded and pining yet again, but they are inevitably going to find one another. I don’t know how to stay only in the one circle and not the other, though. I know that canon is whatever you want it to be once a piece of media ends on an open note, but it still feels Too Real whenever I’m looking at art of Stone grieving alone instead of a bittersweet vibe of redemption and searching.

Plus, Villain!Stone can happen a million more ways than one! It doesn’t have to be grief, it can just be him finally taking charge of Schemes™ during Ivo’s absence, so that once he comes back he kinda has to reckon with Stone strictly as an equal instead of a subordinate he can boss around. I also think ngl it’s a little more in-character?? Stone doesn’t go mad with loss at the end of the third movie, he more or less sees the point in Ivo’s sacrifice and is both heartbroken and full of love for the man who saved his (and every person on the planet’s) life.

Anyhow—with the movie itself there are definitely a couple aspects I could do without, just minor details, specifically how the narrative handles Ivo’s changing appearance (not just how he’s introduced in a manner that kind of puts him under a magnifying glass, but also the way they had Stone’s latte art centered around movie 1 Ivo which. okay but then it’s backhanded and Stone wouldn’t do that), so I’m not gonna pray to whatever’s portrayed onscreen as the one and only truth, esp when the ending clearly shows Shadow surviving and is only ambiguous about Ivo for Jim Carrey’s sake. To me a work of art isn’t just the text but the implication and intent behind it.

Bottom line I want them to be happy together, because to me StH for all its potential to have adult themes is still an escapist thing for me. Specifically with Ivo and Stone, the chance to have kid whimsy and play even when you’re grown. That’s what their relationship feels like, and it’s precious to me.

[strang3lov3]

Feel free to ignore in case I just overlooked it, but I'm wondering how dd!Joel and Pumpkin fell into their current dynamic. It kinda seems like she wouldn't have been so willing to move in with him if she knew he would be so strict, unless he was normal and then she moved in and he got controlling?

Also, your writing is just so amazing, and the way you write the parent dynamic for both dd! and daddy!Joel is so realistic it's almost unbearable but it's soooooo good

(can I be 📜⚔️? :))

I’ve never written this out because I kinda jumped in the middle of the story when I first wrote In Your Room. The details of how Pumpkin and Joel came to be came much later. I couuuuullllddd write about him finding her and bringing her home, maybe, if that’s something people would want, but it wouldn’t be smutty I don’t think.

My basic idea is this: Joel and Tommy were patrolling a newish area when they found her in this old, shitty, cold fucking cabin all dirty and with nothing to eat. Immediately they both wanted to take her back to Jackson, but she said no. Very untrusting of strangers.

Joel would come back repeatedly and with food, because if she wasn’t living under a safe roof, he wanted to at least make sure she had food in her belly. And then you know, the whole thing about him using pumpkin pie to coax her into coming home, and that’s how Pumpkin became her nickname.

It was her choice to move in with Joel, like I mentioned in Honey-Do. At that moment, he was her safest person. And Joel wasn’t always so strict, you know? They were so, so close at first, and it was such a special thing. And when Joel gave her the confidence to spread her wings a little, he clipped them. He’s afraid of losing yet another one of his little girls. So he’s strict, he’s scary and mean, and he’s scared himself. He’s not losing you too, Pumpkin. You made your bed, now you’re going to lie in it.

[halexxsam]

Mushy May: Day 14 - Arts & Crafts

I can't believe we are halfway done, thats crazy !! as always, thanks to @forlorn-crows for mushy may! Calendar here. Divider from @/wrathofrats.

words: 602

characters: perpetua/ghouls

Keeping the ghouls occupied on tour proved to be hard for Perpetua. After a few days of constant attention, being used as a pillow, and having his ear talked off, he knew he had to figure out something to calm down the pack. 

He had one of the drivers go to a local craft store, picking up coloring books, paints, clay, and even small wooden figures. He hid them in a closet, waiting until after the ritual tonight to show the ghouls. They had over a day's drive until the next tour stop, and he knew the ghouls would be just itching to do something during that time. 

Crowding back onto the bus hours later, Perpetua quickly collapsed onto one of the loveseats in the back, closing his eyes. The showers at the venue were terrible, so he still felt hot and gross, even forgoing washing his hair. Unfortunately, they weren’t stopping tonight, so he would have to build up the strength to shower on the bus. 

His peace was quickly disturbed by Rain, who sat down next to him and planted his legs over his lap. “Hi Papa,” Rain bounded out, causing Papa to grimace at his voice. God, his head hurt. He smiled though, still so much love for his ghoul. 

“Hiya, Pet.” He murmured, one hand coming up to rub the water ghouls leg. “You did good tonight.” 

Rain just chuffed, leaning in closer. Swiss cast a look, finding the two on the seat, and decided he also wanted in on the action. He walked over, swaying his hips. 

“Hi, Papa,” He purred out, eyeing the man up and down like dessert.

Papa smiled, catching onto what his ghoul was looking at him for. He shook his head, rubbing a hand down his face. “I’m really tired, and I still have to shower.” 

Swiss pouted, hands on his hips. “Could shower with you.” 

“Both of us would not fit in there.” 

Swiss just sighed. “Alright, alright.” He said, sitting down on the couch and spreading out like a starfish, staring aimlessly at the bus ceiling. “I just feel so amped up afterwards, kinda wish we had something to do.” 

Papa sat up at that, almost forgetting the surprise he had. “Actually, I’ve got something. All of you can do it if you want.” 

At that, all the ghouls turned to him, eyebrows raised in question. They watched as he made his way to his personal cabinet, pulling out three big bags. “Have you ever done arts and crafts?”

The ghouls shook their heads, staring intently as they watched him take everything out of the bags. 

“I figured as much, so I got some things picked up. We have coloring books, markers, different kinds of paints, wooden pieces, and clay. You can do whatever you’d like with it,” He said, pausing to eye Dewdrop and Swiss, “So long as you use it for its intended purposes.” 

The ghouls nodded, quickly making their way to the table. Rain immediately grabbed one of the coloring books, smiling as he flipped through the pages. Mountain chose to paint a wooden bird house, wanting to hang it on the outside of the tour bus to see if they might get any little visitors. Cirrus and Aurora picked out some paints and canvases, pulling their hair up and getting to work. Surprisingly, Dew and Swiss both chose to play with the clay. He had successfully entertained all the ghouls that were not dead asleep in the bunks. 

“Alright, you guys have fun. I am going to shower.” He said, pulling a towel over his shoulder. 

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️☣️

This fic is infecting my mind it's so good im wondering if Ravi can only warp to Eddie because Buck healed him

Ahh thank you! And not quite!

66 for ☣️:

---

“I know you can help,” Karen says. “I’m just saying risking yourself so soon isn’t necessary. Going back down there isn’t necessary, Hen. You just got out.”

Buck can’t help but look at Eddie. Eddie meets his eyes at the same moment. 

“So did Ravi!” Hen protests. 

“Oh, please don’t bring me into it,” Ravi whispers.

“I know, Hen,” Karen says, sort of pleadingly. “I know, I just-”

“Bobby and Chim would do it for me,” Hen says. “Any of us would do it for the others. This is no different than flying into the hurricane.”

“It might actually be safer,” Eddie says. “With Buck around.”

Karen glares at him mildly. 

“We need to leave,” Athena says, sparing no time for the disagreement. “So decide now.”

Hen looks at Athena. 

“I’m going with the guys. If there’s an effort to bring Bobby and Chimney home, I’m part of it.”

▪️▪️▪️

It’s not a quick drive to Gila Bend. Six hours if traffic is light. If it’s not, well… It’s a Monday. 

Eddie and Buck take turns driving Buck’s Jeep. Ravi also offers to take a shift, but honestly, he needs to save as much energy as he can. If he’s drained, they’re all screwed. Buck and Eddie can handle it. 

It’s strange, being in this particular grouping. Just the four of them. Four-sixths of the 118. The team Buck was absolutely certain had been obliterated. Here it is. Semi-resurrected in his vehicle. 

The first part of the drive is mostly quiet. They cross the border into Nevada. Eddie stops to buy a gun. No one really knows how to feel about that, so no one really mentions it. Ravi asks to stop for snacks. He gets whatever he wants, as far as Buck is concerned. 

Eventually, Hen is the one to break the ice.

“So,” she says. “What have I missed?”

Buck lets out a breath of uncomfortable laughter. It’s so fucking weird. Like she was in the Bahamas or something. Not trapped in a lab, developing superpowers, being tortured by evil scientists. Fucking unreal. 

“Not… Not much,” Eddie says. “Kinda… Kinda of a low six months, as I’m sure Karen, uh, conveyed.”

“Well, that’s an understatement if I’ve ever heard one,” Buck mumbles. 

“Nothing interesting at all to report?” Hen asks, skeptical. “Come on. Throw me a bone here, guys.”

“Um…” Buck winces.

He and Eddie look at each other quickly, then look away.

“Jee’s teacher is the worst person I’ve ever met,” Buck says.

“The new Marvel movie is half decent,” Eddie says. 

Ravi sighs. “Eddie is captain of the 118. Buck hates that Eddie is captain of the 118. They’re pretending they aren’t fighting until we get everyone back.”

[providence-menace]

Her Mawile needs to mega evolve because Mawile is nothing without its mega but also Mawile looks cute but is dangerous upon mega evolution which fits Mafuyu

Anyways Imma do this with Ichika (high ladder monotyper here so I went for thematic stuff plus competitive viability)

Deeper analysis under the cut

Lokix is a good lead, this was mainly for the First Impression pun because Ichika's first impression is quiet and stoic and that strikes people. Instead the Lokix-Swords Dance set is more competitively viable because you get in one Swords Dance, spam Trailblaze, and sweep all of UU (this is more viable than Reshiram somehow) so that's why I put it there. The First Impression set does fit thematically though because this Lokix would rely on priority, First Impression as an opener and then as it takes up damage it becomes softer (similar to how Ichika gets softer to her friends over time) until it U-turns out and strikes back with ANOTHER First Impression. Honestly either one could work because Lokix is still the best First Impression user we've had by far.

Toxtricity (a guitarist) and Skeledirge (a vocalist) refer to Ichika's dual role as both a guitarist and a vocalist. They even get sound-based moves as a result. I think both of these were givens. Toxtricity is more fitting imo because Ichika is literally a rock guitarist, and Toxtricity's ability is Punk Rock. I went with the lowkey form because Ichika's a pretty chill person. And then Skeledirge because hey you need a Paldea starter on every team and Ichika has haunting vocals. Skeledirge is Fire/Ghost sooo that works.

Dragonite reinforces the idea that both them are really caring once you get to know them and of course what's a Dragonite without Tera Normal E-Speed? I'm geniunely surprised Dragonite doesn't get Swords Dance because that would make it OU's E-Killer (referring to Arceus-Normal which runs Swords Dance + Extreme Speed). But still. Ichika still got that passion and resolve in her.

Serperior adds to the concept that appearances don't mean jack because again Ichika looks blank and almost a little unapproachable (though not to the extent of Shiho) and also just like some ordinary kid but really she's nice and a passionate singer. Similar to how Serperior looks blank and even kinda week, even looking at its 75 base attacking stats which suck, but stats aren't everything because look at the movepool and ability so Leaf Storm and Contrary, which makes it balanced rather than broken.

And finally Lucario, the ultimate friendship pokemon. The importance of friendship is one of the themes of Leo/need's story. Riolu can only evolve into Lucario with high friendship, and canonically (in gen 6 at least) Mega Evolution requires a strong bond between trainer and pokemon, reflecting off Ichika's strong bond with Saki, Honami, and Shiho. Gen 7 (Sun and Moon) changed it up and instead you are turning your Lucario into a WMD and scarred it for life. Which makes me think about what would happen if Ichika didn't reconcile with her friends? How bad would she end up?

Anyways Lokix lead, Toxtricity and Skeledirge are the bulky wallbreakers, Dragonite and Serperior are setup sweepers who come in mid-game, and then Lucario cleans up everything as a great revenge killer. This isn't exactly a Hyper Offense team and actually leans more towards balance but each of them does fulfill one of the four main roles as the common 1/2/2/1 lineup.

pjsk x pokemon⁉️

[touchlikethesun]

i do think there is something wrong with me because i am realising that my reactions to some of the things that luo binghe did because of his love for shen qingqiu seem to be relatively muted compared to others’. like don’t get me wrong, luo binghe definitely did that like he for sure went there but like at the same time i think he’s so fucking valid and maybe if people just stopped judging the kid for being the teensiest bit obsessed and took the time to understand his hangups then they’d see that too