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belle-keys · 4 years ago

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I Love Matthew Fairchild aka Incoherent Thoughts about Chain of Iron (2021) by Cassandra Clare

I made one of these rant-rave reviews for SJM's book so check it out if you want, no pressure tho lmao.

Aight so I finished Chain of Iron last night and OMG I HAVE TO YELL like I loved it sooo much like yooo, I have a lot to say. I know the book is new so... beware for spoilers plebs.

Also context: I been reading the Shadowhunter books since I was 12 and I'm 19 now *insert dead emoji face* so yeah, I'm just so happy rn with where the Chronicles have come and the fact that they’re still ongoing *insert uwu face*. I remember when in like 2014-2015 or something when Cassandra Clare teased that Will and Tessa's kids' generation was gonna get a trilogy set in Edwardian London, loosely based on Great Expectations, and holy hell? I think that was perhaps one of the best days of my life considering how much I adore The Infernal Devices (that trilogy really changed the way I see YA literature... don't ask cus I won't shut up about it) (also yes I read TMI and loved it too but there's a “generation gap” between TMI and the other Shadowhunter books stylistically so don't ask me about that either cus I also won't shut up).

Anyway, shoo from here if you want a critical essay on Chain of Iron. I'm not providing that, this is just me raving here for the fun.

Listen... I want the bulk of this to just be two main things: The Matthew Situation, and then all the literary and judeo-christian meta aspects of it.

BUT I ALSO NEED TO TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE SO FRICK LET'S JUST START WITH THE OBVIOUS SHIT LIKE THE PLOT AND WHATEVER

Okay, the plot and writing and shit, let's get that out of the way:

The WHOLE Jack-the-Ripper-esque ambiance was just sooooo good man wow like I did not expect the book to take this cold turn but it worked so well. There was such a contrast between Jamie and Cordelia's warm little house and then the cold winter and the stabbings and shit and it felt like a nice little callback to the actual Ripper phenomenon that preceded them and a nod to the Whitechapel Fiend story from Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy.

Bitch OFC that whole thing with Wayland was a set-up like nawww that was too easy to spot and I get why Cordelia feels like shit about it.

Dawg Lucie was just the Among Us imposter here in that my girl was just venting and sneaking around with dead people and I was like nooooo girl run, don't deal with Fade this is a set-up THINK ABOUT JULES LUCIE THAT'S LIKE YO GREAT-GRANDSON *sobs* but yeah anyway my girl has death powers she gonna kill some bitches next book.

You see that confrontation between Lilith and Belial? MASTERPIECE DIALOGUE like this was the point within which I was just like "yo is this the book of Genesis or a YA Fantasy novel" like when Lilith said "I may have been cast out but I did not fall" like??????????????????? I YELLED she did not have to END Belial like that. What a bad bitch.

More on Lilith and Belial... "You, who brought nations into darkness? Shall I finally be able to tell the infernal realms you have gone mad, lost even the image of the Creator." HAHAHHAHAHA SHE SAID "YO BELIAL GO GET SOME THERAPY AND GET OFF MY ASS" LIKE??????

Ughhhh yasss Clare has improved writing diverse characters in this book compared to in The Dark Artifices in my opinion... I'm not gonna expand on it cus ain't nobody got time for that but like, I enjoyed how she wove Persian poetry and tales into the story and the way in which she writes Cordelia and Alistair. They're not caricatures of Persian people but rather multi-faceted beings who also happen to be Persian and I appreciate that. Also, Alistair and Thomas and Anna and Ariadne were just so fun and interesting to read as coupbles but also as individuals. She really higlighted diversity in a very natural manner. All I need is a hijabi character and I’ll die a happy woman lmao.

The level of META man like the references to Classics and art (I swear, she might have compared Matthew to angels out of Caravaggio AND Rosetti AND Boticelli paintings and I Am Living For It) and just all the quotes from holy books and shit omg I love it here like you really feel catapulted into the time period, she draws reference to external art and philosophy so well and I feel like she upped the notch on it in this book (didn’t know that was possible but it was the prose is BEAUTIFUL, archaic, but not pretentiously so). No, like the characters live in their OWN worlds of literature and art and history in the way we are living in THEIRS. They quote Wilde and Milton while we'll quote Clare. It's awesome.

This is an unusually structuralist take even from me but: I like the way the milieu social of the book, i.e., the high society Edwardian circles and their values, have a direct influence on the plot. James and Cordelia got married because society’s values essentially forced them to, not a demon. Cordelia abandons Jamie at the end of Iron because her shame as a woman in society and fear for her reputation made her, not a demon. Thomas and Alistair can't be together solely because of how Alistair tarnished the reputation of the Fairchilds and Lightwoods by using the horror of infidelity against them. Issues relating to marriage, gender roles, etc, stemming DIRECTLY from the time period rule the sequence of events to the same degree as the epic fantasy aspects (demons, Princes of Hell, the lore itself) do and I LOVE that dear God above.

OKAY THE GOOD SHIT LET US TALK ABOUT CHARACTERS AND SHIPS (N.B. but imma discuss Matthew and the Fairstairs situation separately below this portion):

Alistair's redemption arc: No, cus Alistair's redemption arc is honestly amazing. He really did change and it's not like his betterment as a person was linked to any one heroic deed but rather he simply decided he wanted to be better especially for his family and he decided to become a proper protective son, a caring brother, and an amiable friend. He fully owned up to his Malfoy tendencies and apologized without expecting forgiveness. He shows how he cares in the little ways and omg it's so sweet and tender. I really do want him to love himself now and be embraced by Matthew especially and the rest of the Thieves.

Dawg Lucie and Jesse are so funny to me like it's so hilarious how this girl fell in love with a whole ass ghost that no one else knows about like HHAHA. Are Lucie and Jesse my ult ship ever? Nah, but it's nothing to do with Clare, it's just that their relationship happened pretty quick and feels quite like something epicly romantic that Lucie herself would write. I just like slow burn and friends-to-lovers the most from Clare. To be honest part of me just wanted Lucie to not have a romantic arc all together but like, it's all good, I'm not complaining.

Okay Grace- like yooooooooooo I never hated her yunno. She has been abused and isolated all her life. It's not that she is a bad person, but rather that she does not know what being a person even entails. Can't even say she's a “doll” of a person cus she's never even been pampered like one by her family. I really started understanding her motivations since when they gave us her half-childhood with Jesse. I want better for her but cmon can she REALLY be saved???

GRACE X CHRISTOPHER *pretends to be shocked*... Okay, sometime in the middle of the Dark Artifices series some big brain put together a very thorough family tree of the families and like, it clearly showed that Grace and Christopher got married so like, lmfaooooo, I knew this was coming one way or another, but the journey to this ship is more important than the destination. Like in a way Christopher is such a cute baby lamb that it makes sense he'd end up being immune to her Grace-ness when he's just a cute little Einstein boiii. Like this is just so funny to me cus he's so oblivious to social conventions while she makes the milieu social her entire life so OFC it's gonna work. Like, this is such a worlds-colliding trope like just Give It To Me.

James and Grace - aw mannn Jamie just had me fricking wanting to hit a wall every two seconds cus like yooooooo every single time I think he and Cordelia are gonna stop being emotionally-constipated spouses, Jamie says some kinda shit like "omg me and Daisy are just friends uwu" like DO I NEED TO HIT YOU?????????? See I can't blame him for not slamming the door on Grace's face even tho he totes should- Jamie is so cerebral and kind that even if Grace wasn't using the enchantment on him, I think he would always be soft for her even if it isn't in a romantic way. There's just so much miscommunication cus like he said "Thank God" when she broke off the engagement with Charles and lowkey embraced her but it also wasn't his fault cus it wasn't even romantic BUT OFC IT LOOKED HORRIBLE TO CORDELIA like James literally never told the woman at least once that he loved her so OFC she thought she was back to square one with him dear God above what a mess. Not his fault, but she DID set down one rule for him: don’t cheat with Grace. And yeah even tho he hasn’t properly cheated, it must FEEL horrible to her cus she’s just been enduring the pain of their unrequeted love for so long :((

See imma just say it but if Cordelia thought that James didn't love Grace then she def would have confessed to him about her feelings right but like James, on the other hand, was delaying his own romantic confession cus he was BEING EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED and I can't even say the bracelet was solely to blame cus like my boi was just being so difficult omg I believe he should be lightly spanked by his three parents aka Will, Tessa and Jem *cries*.

Cordelia is such a MOM like she's so mature and stable and her self-preservation instinct? OFF THE CHARTS I love this woman like James definitely treated her well as a hubby but like I JUST WANTED HER TO HAVE CLOSURE ABOUT SOMETHING and boy oh boy she did get that closure she got it good but not from the person she expected in the LEAST *hehe* *pelican screeching*... like Lucie was being sus with the whole ghost business and James was being just, quite a case, dealing with Grace and Belial right and I don't blame them at all for their secrecy and shit but her FATHER DIED and her friends were hiding a lot from her so in a way she turned to Alistair for help but he could only do so much cus of his own pain (she couldn't even talk to her mom cus she's pregnant and she doesn't wanna stress her right) and then there was this emotional block between her and Jamie, Lucie was often absent and conspiring with the dead... the last person remaining was HIM (imma discuss this soon), but yeah my heart just went OUT to her cus she's tryna save herself and her family and she just doesn't know what to do. That's why I love the way her mom told her to stop holding herself back for others and live her own life. Like Cordelia grew on me so much cus in Gold she undoubtedly was a strange Elizabeth Bennet-wallflower hybrid and I... do not usually get attached to wallflowers but in Iron I feel like I finally understood that she was just tryna be unproblematic and self-preserving all along and nottt put her family and friends in a tough situation.... she reminds me of my mom personality-wise so yeah I’m totally rooting for her now that her *situation* in the past seems clearer.

Anna, Thomas and Matthew are such a SQUAD lmfaooooo like united in their gayness they'd be so unstoppable.

Will and Tessa are the most in-love of all the in-loves in this story and I respect that so much.

I lost a year to my life every time the romance between James and Cordelia got cockblocked. Like they were MARRIED and I thought they were gonna at least sleep next to each other at least once BUT NO James couldn't take a hint omg I'm actually gonna eat my fist and sob (but in retrospect, I think this serves a bigger purpose in terms of the narrative structure i.e. the interruption of all the spicy James and Cordelia action serves a bigger purpose which I think brings me to my next section, *exhale*)

Welcome to the Matthew Fairchild Enthusiast Club (this section is me talking out loud; it makes no sense):

bitch.

LISTEN TO ME LISTEN WELL I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH IMMA SCREAM I REALLY AM GONNA SCREAM MY FIST IS LITERALLY IN MY MOUTH *BACKFLIPS OFF THE ROOF WITH LANA DEL REY PLAYING*

Okay like where to BEGIN I think the Shadowhunter boy who I'm most attracted to is Julian while the one I love the most is Will but I think I see myself in Matthew the most. Like ever since that first story where the Thieves all met at the Academy then got expelled, I think that I just KNEW Matthew was destined to be epic. Plus the whole Wilde obsession? I’m no libertine myself but I just love his chaos and passion for life.

NO CUS HE'S SO WITTY AND SWEET AND EPIC AND YET SO SECRETIVE AND DEAR GOD ABOVE AHHHHH WILL HE SURPASS JULIAN FOR ME??? Ion even know but this is just sodjsgdwsdygyegydgef

Hear me out but I said after finishing Gold last March that I wanted this book to be Matthew's healing arc right so halfway into the book when I realized that we weren't getting all that good healing arcing I was confused just cus I thought it seemed natural to address all of his alcohol issues and sadness by now. LITTLE DID I KNOW CASSIE WAS SETTING UP A WHOLE OTHER ARC WITH HIM THAT I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED WTH.

At first I thought Matthew didn't have feelings for anyone at all, and if he DID develop feelings unexpectedly, I fricking thought that maybe he's catching feelings for James, if anyone??? I mean, I did have some suspicions about Matthew from the get-go: like he's so secretive and as readers we think we know everything there is to know about him since we were all privy to the truth potion incident in his short story right BUT NO I GOT PLAYED AND I DESERVE IT SO BADDDDDD.

Listen I hadn't shipped him and Cordelia simply because I never thought it in the realm of possibility but it MAKES SENSE as a ship... think about it: he never says what he feels, he flirts with her like he does with EVERYONE, he is kind to her in the way he is with EVERYONE. Really, Matthew is shippable with everyone, doesn’t matter if they’re taken cus that’s just what his Matthewnes allows for ya feel. There is such a beautiful irony that CORDELIA herself did not see this coming. Even the little teasers and hints in Gold have only NOW started making sense to me likejhss. I just felt like the hints in book 1 did not indicate to me that Matthew really harbored real romantic feelings for Daisy. I thought he was upset that James and Cordelia were being fakes, not a developing CRUSH on the woman fgs.

Not to mention that you usually sense a ship building when the emotional connection or sexual tension between the characters is made clearer but to me their FRIENDSHIP grew right but it didn’t feel like Cordelia was thought that she liked him or he liked her so that means me and Cordelia are clowns *together* 😤

Okay I was lowkey having SUSPICIONS but I immediately shut them down right... like firstly when he took her to the White Horse in his car and she went OFF and OFF and off about how she felt free for the first time? I thought Cassie was just tryna develop Cordelia's self-liberation arc through Matthew there. Heck, I didn't even think ANYTHING of it when Matthew confession to Cordelia about the "truth potion" incident at all cus I was like they're FRIENDS??? BUT now it's adding up now...

See when they were at the inn place and he was telling her that she doesn't in the least seem like a 100 year-old married woman? I was like hmmmm he's so sweet but why did Cassie phrase it like that like??? When Cordelia later reiterated that she thought Matthew's flirting was “meaningless”?? I was like hmmm kinda SUS tho. And then when he and James had their fight over the way Jamie kissed Grace like again I thought he was just like? ion know? mad at James for it but I didn't think he was in LOVE with Cordelia??? So I immediately put aside my slight suspicions. The probability that he had a crush on James at that point seemed more likely to me.

BUT THEN it started hitting me that every time Matthew drank, even before he explained his issue with the truth potion, that Cordelia would note it, she would worry about him, she would think of her father which seemed so poetic to me, history repeating itself and all that but this time you can FIX it??? Yeah, but again I didn't think the L WORD would be involved man???

Now imma sound like a delulu shipper here but it just makes sense they would develop feelings logically- reason being that it definitely is possible based on the way Cassie set up the story, like there's a combination of little “friend things” that can turn this into a proper ship: Matthew rescues Cordelia in the ballroom when Grace captures James' attention in Gold. Cordelia sees her father in Matthew all the time but knows now she has a chance to be there for him in the way she couldn't have been there for Elias (classic “history repeats itself” trope, she doesn't want Matthew drinking in Paris like dhshghdfhdhch). Cordelia tastes freedom for the first time when driving with Matthew. Matthew caught James and Cordelia making out in the room and was pissed but not even HE properly knew why then??? Umm, when she thinks James is forreal cheating with Grace on her she subconsciously goes to Matthew??? I also found it funny just how every intimate marital moment between her and James got interrupted somehow. Like, it's as if the narrative is just a living force REFUSING to let James and Cordelia as a ship be consecrated. Heck, every time Matthew is scantily clothed Cordelia notes it. LITTLE CRUMBS I TELL YOU LITTLE CRUMBS.

I tell you when Cordelia showed up to Matthew's flat I thought they were gonna f*ck as friends but I got SOMETHING EVEN BETTER SOMEHOW

THEY ARE GOING TO PARIS LA BELLE EPOQUE PARIS THE PARIS OF DREAMS AND ART LIKE??? FRICKKKKK I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AT ALLLL MAN? I deadass thought the story would be restrained to the UK but like it MAKES SENSE the trope subversion MAKES SENSE.

“In Paris, with you, I will not need to forget.” SHITTRGEGGGDG

BUT CORDELIA LOVES JAMES TOO LIKE I CAN'T DENY THAT... where are we GOING with this like Matthew wouldn't lie about his feelings and yet Cassie wouldn't give us Matthew and Cordelia crumbs to only end it in the next book immediately for her to just ditch him for James. I mean she was clearly holding back on fleshing out James and Cordelia as a ship for this but to WHAT END??? Daisy feels wild and free with Matthew and she feels warm at home warm with James. I can’t advocate for the sinking of ANY ship here.

Imma say what we're all thinking: Is she gonna give us a Will x Jem x Tessa type situation where Cordelia gets both of them cus I'm not strong enough for this but I also think it'd be really funny if James gets a surprise bi awakening in the next books and then we get POLY even tho this would never happen, it’s actually impossible, because of the whole parabatai thing.

Listen I ship Cordelia and Matthew much more than Cordelia and James, not that I dislike James in any way tho. It's just: Matthew is so unrestrained and she's so composed. They seem like an unlikely pair so it makes sense that they hit harder for me. James and Cordelia have such similar personalities but I ALSO don't ship James with Grace at all so like?? Poly would be... ideal... but it can’t happen especially cus they are fricking parabatai... a Will-Jem-Tessa situation seems more likely but mannnn ion know what to expect. I just want FAIRSTAIRS to have their moment in Paris. I mean James and Matthew clearly don't abhor each other for this.

Take everything I say with several grains of salt, take everything I say with the whole Dead Sea actually, cus I damn well know that Matthew is so flirty and whatnot that I’d have shipped him with anyone in their little circle but now that she set him up with Cordelia it all feels so right?? I have wanted this man in a good relationship since he walked onto the page in Nothing But Shadows so-

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I can't believe Cassia duped me like this omg, Matthew is gonna have his healing arc in Paris with Cordelia by his side like- THIS IS ALL I HAVE WANTED AND SO MUCH MORE. Question to yall btw: are you all as surpised at Fairstairs as me or did yall see it coming all along like smart people? Am I a lone clown? 🥺

BRUH okay criticisms of CC?:

Lmfao a part of me feels like I GOTTA say something bad about CC or the book but honestly I have no objective complaints about it as of now. Am I saying that it’s the PEAK of Young Adult literature and Urban Fantasy? I mean, I make no such claims tbh. I’m not here to be critical when I read as a hobby and when CC’s writing makes me happy regardless of how flawed some people see it.

Okay what next?

So like I’m excited for the adult high fantasy she’s releasing in the fall and whatever other works she might be releasing outside of Chain of Gold within the Chronicles.

As for TLH itself? Man I’m just VIBING like I suspect I will reread Chain of Iron soon and maybe one of the anthologies just because I am happy that this series actually happened after me waiting like 6 years for it when it was just a concept: a Dickensian retelling filled with poetry and culture and history and the conventions I so loved in TID at age 12. This is all I been wanting tbh. I’m just enjoying watching this series come to fruition for it to inspire and transform me in some way. I feel like in a way my coming-of-age aligns with that of these specific characters yet I ALSO feel like I raised Jamie since infancy. Wack.

MATTHEW AND CORDELIA IN FRANCE LA BELLE EPOQUE TO BE EXACT IMMA CRY I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AND AHHHHHH. ALSO WILL AND JAMIE GOING TO CORNWALL TO GET LUCIE AND MAYBE BOND I LOVE WILL. HE WAS ONE OF MY DILF AWAKENINGS AT AGE 12 AND NOW HE’S HERE AGAIN IMMA CRY. I WANNA SEE MATTHEW GET HAPPY. AHHH.

Ending with a fun quote: “In the wise words of someone or other, there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy, Maurice.” 😉

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spnreactions · 4 years ago

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15x15: Gimme Shelter

Alright guys! It’s time!

Just a heads up, in case you haven’t figured it out yet, these posts usually come out later in the day, because even if I watch it live, I tend to do my reactions live, but then write up the full review later. In case you were wondering why the posts don’t usually come right away.

Anyways! Let’s get down to it!

Oof. Yep. We’re definitely on the serious track now, with a then like this.

Also, I didn’t say this before, but I really love the “then” and “now” openings for this season. It’s beautiful with the Impala like that. <3

Oof. Interesting flashback to Jack breaking out of the Ma’lak Box.

...ew. Maybe it doesn’t taste as gross as it looks, but it looks gross.

Jesus girls, chill.

Okay, I already like the pastor.

I’m watching live this week, and I’m in a FB group that’s commenting as we watch, and someone just pointed out that the pastor is Dr. Sexy MD!! Man I love when actors return like that.

Ope. Connor’s gonna die. Poor kid. He seemed nice.

...that teddy bear definitely wasn’t there when he was walking over before, but okay.

UMMMMM...TALKING TEDDY!

NO THANK YOU!!!

I HAVE A DOLL THING!!! NOT COOL!!!

Hmmm...gotta be honest, I’m not sure how I’m feeling about Cohen’s directing on this one. :/

It had a talking teddy bear. I bet it is.

Darkness. Nice pun.

“He’s not that funny.” XD XD

Dean you just want to go to Atlantic City whether Amara’s there or not don’t even deny it. XD

Cas’s confused face will always be one of the cutest things ever. <3

I love the way they’re all walking down the hallway together. It’s such a simple thing, but I like the way they’re positioned and everything. Point: Matt Cohen.

SCENE FROM THE PROMO!

Sure they can.

“She and I used to have a thing” DEAN!! XD XD

HIIIII JACK!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Dude, let me tell you, I am so ready for some quality Cas and Jack content.

I love all the different reactions here. Dean is trying to get Cas and Jack out of the house, which Jack is super excited about, and Cas is very not into. XD

...wait, did they not tell him about Mrs. Butters? Or did they just not mention her name?

Cas looking at Sam like “help me out here” and Sam being like “sorry but no”. XD

Oh come on Cas. Look how excited Jack is! I love how enthusiastic he gets over every hunt. It’s adorable and I love him. (Yeah you’re gonna be hearing that a lot. XD)

Cas is like “you’re kidding me right?”

“Highway to Heaven” XD XD

THE SCENE!!

MY BABY IS SO EXCITED I LOVE HIS LITTLE SMILE AHHHH!!!!

No matter how Cas is against going to deal with something so small fry when they’re in the middle of something so huge, he will still smile affectionately at his son, because he loves him. <3 <3 <3

“Blue’s a good color on you.” XD XD <3 <3

“Agent Swift.” XD XD XD XD

“Agent Lovato.” I’M DEAD THESE TWO ARE THE BEST!!! XD XD XD XD

HE’S HOLDING HIS BADGE UPSIDE DOWN JUST LIKE CAS DID ON HIS FIRST HUNT I’M DEAD!! XD XD XD <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

A BABY YODA REFERENCE?! This show oh my god. XD XD XD

“I just graduated from CSI.” JACK OH MY GOD YOU ADORABLE LITTLE BEAN!!! XD XD <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Okay, I love watching Cas and Jack together, and I love watching them go on a hunt, but guys, could you at least TRY to be subtle? “Did you find tiny bags with chicken bones? Smell any sulfur? Feel cold?” Like, NO you two. XD XD

The cop lady is just like “what the heck is wrong with these two?”

Oh. “Liar” isn’t a seven deadly sin thing. Maybe I was wrong about that.

“For my stepson, Ronald.” JACK!! XD XD XD <3 <3 <3 I love him so much oh my god.

For someone who’s new to hunting, that was actually an awesome cover. <3 <3

Wait...speakers? Maybe it isn’t something supernatural after all?

“Almost demonic.” Okay so that was a little more subtle.

Okay Cohen, I take back what I said about your directing. That was a good shot of the stop sign.

I love the way Jack’s sitting in the back of the truck. <3 <3

Learning from Sam. <3 <3 <3

Cas, there is no such thing as too many cats. His face when he says that though. XD

THAT ENTIRE SEQUENCE ABOUT PARENT/GUARDIAN PERMISSION I’M DYING HOLY FRICK!!! XD XD XD XD <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

That was both the cutest and funniest thing ever and I just...I LOVE THEM AHHHH!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

I feel like Cas is upset though. Like, he’s extra frustrated with the whole Amara and God thing. Not that I blame him of course. He’s just got a certain...coldness to him in this episode. But I like how it disappears whenever he’s talking to Jack. <3 <3 Good acting on Misha’s part.

For example, that little soft smile when he looks over at Jack logging in to the social media account is so sweet and so cute and so undeniably fatherly. <3 <3

Okay, gotta be honest: British demon? Totally hot.

"Why is he talking like that?” he whispers, very loudly in a way that the party he is speaking of can definitely hear him. XD XD <3 <3

“Because Zack has style.”

WAIT!!!

He’s not ACTUALLY British??!!

Oh my god that shouldn’t have made me laugh, but it TOTALLY did.

AND he made the “Highway to Heaven” reference just like Dean did!

I love this demon holy frick. XD XD

Cas’s and Jack’s confused expressions at his sudden change. XD

“I would watch that show.” XD XD

How this show manages to introduce a new character, however brief, and give him so much personality when we’re six episodes from the end is beyond my understanding, but man, it is one of the many reasons I love this show. <3

Ha! “Demons are get, humans are just crazy” ring a bell?

Ha! Of course Rowena has that philosophy. God I miss her.

“You’re a deviant soul corrupted by Hell.” Ah, Cas, ever quick with the logical wit. XD

Cas’s “and we’re done”. XD

Zack is so desperate.

And now, Zack is all of us during COVID. XD

I love Zack. Take him with you. XD <3

Oof. Too true, Cas. Too true.

Awww...Jack.

AWWW! Cas!!! Knowing his son wanted to be busy and help people. I LOVE THEM!!!

THOSE SMILES AT EACH OTHER OH MY GOD SO CUTE!!! <3 <3 <3

She’s gonna steal the money.

Yep. Classy lady. *eye roll*

Ope. And now she’s gonna die.

AHHHH!!

OKAY I TAKE THAT BACK!! BRING THE TEDDY BEAR BACK!! SCARY MASK IS WORSE!!!

My mom and I both screamed jesus christ.

“Focused.” Interesting phrasing, but okay.

I like the way this phone call is happening. The back and forth is cool, and I like their easy talk with each other.

Dean can’t just give straight advice. Ever. “Drink the Kool-Aid and sign up.” XD

Oof. Jesus.

Clearly Dean wasn’t talk about the Amara thing.

Wait, this was over a two-day timeline? Huh. Okay then.

Dean that doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect you stop.

“Messengers of God’s Destruction”.

No, but did any of us?

“Least this time it’s not you or me.” Yeah, yet.

That look Sam gives him means he had the same thought I did.

Okay sorry, I am super not religious, and the God speak makes me want to barf.

HA! JACK! XD

See, this is why you have to give straight advice, Dean. I know that’s hard for you, being your chaotic bi self and all, but angels tend to take things literally, bud. XD

Jack you dork. XD <3

Geez girl. Be nice.

Jack whispering again to try to be sneaky I love him. <3

So that’s a yes then.

Jesus. She’s a b***h. I don’t like her.

That little head nod OMG!! <3 <3

I LOVE THE CAS AND JACK TEAM UP THEY’RE SO CUTE!! <3 <3

Oh. That was a sweet hug.

My Mom: It’s him. It’s the pastor. He’s the bad guy.

Oh! Greed! So this is a seven deadly sins thing!

Ummm....that’s a little weird. Maybe this is as monster after all, with the tech working like that?

But if it was a monster, why is she set up like that?

Okay no, I take that back. I watch Criminal Minds, and this totally looks like something a serial killer would do. Especially the timer thing.

“The new guy’s hot.” MEEEEE. That girl is me. XD <3 <3 <3

EVERY. SINGLE. THING. JACK. DOES. IS. SO. STINKING. ADORABLE. <3 <3 <3 <3

Boyfriend and girlfriend, I’m guessing?

Awww...baby. :(

Awww...Jack. :( :(

Okay but, like, we’ve learned now, right? Don’t give her your whole story please and thank you.

Oh okay. That’s okay.

This girl is...off. Is it the acting, or is the character actually weird? I honestly can’t tell.

Oof. Daddy issues alert.

“I have more dads than most.” AWWW!!! XD XD XD <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Wait baby no, you’re not letting them down stop that. :( :( :(

Ew. “Put your trust in God, not people.” Now I hate her. Trust me honey, the last person Jack--or anybody, for that matter--should be putting his faith in is God.

Oh okay then.

Ha! I love Cas’s subtle little sass with the “faith-based community”.

Oh. A.V. and tech. TV screen. Bingo.

Yeah I don’t think it’s the pastor. He seems too innocent.

...except he’s definitely not getting any father-of-the-year awards. But what else is new with this show.

“It’s complicated.” What are you talking about?? Just say yes, Cas.

Awww...soft side of Cas. <3

Yeah no. It’s not the pastor. There’s no way. It must be that Brother Rudy dude.

Ha! Awkward. XD

That’s actually really nice. I like that idea, having a church community (sorry--faith-based community) helping other people like that. It’s sweet.

Oh. Connor was gay. That honestly totally makes sense. Poor guy. :(

I’m glad the pastor was accepting of him though! <3 <3

Awww...that’s a good line. “A saint is a sinner who keeps trying.”

I really hope it’s not the pastor. I like him.

My Mom: Wait, have we just never seen them put gas in the car before? I had no idea it was behind the license plate!

I’m thinking back and I didn’t know that either, so this must be the first time we’ve actually seen them, like, open it, and that’s HILARIOUS to me. XD

OOOOH WAIT!! This is where they see Amara, according to the promo photos!!

Oh heeeey girl.

Wow she looks really pretty with that snow in her hair.

She...she...smelled them?

“You have a very distinctive musk.” “Thank you.” ARE THESE TWO STILL PINING FOR EACH OTHER? XD XD XD

I like this Amara. She’s fun.

My family and I always make kielbasa with our pierogis (I had no idea that that was how that was spelled, btw), so pierogis without the kielbasa feels wrong. XD

Jensen’s facial expressions say so much all the time and I love it. XD

Oh boy.

NOOOOOO!

WHAT IS IT WITH SUPERNATURAL AND FINGERS ON THIS SHOW JESUS!!

Okay, WHO is the timer for?? Like, is it just some form of slow torture?? Because it’s not like it’s being shown to anyone other than her.

Ooh. I like that he’s listing off all of the different names for God. Good pastor. Please don’t be a bad guy.

HIS FAMOUS “hello” OH MY GOD I LOVE HIM SO MUUUUUUUUCH!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

...oof. Ummm....

Awww.... Poor baby. :( :( :(

AWWW!! Dad Cas to the rescue!! <3 <3 <3

Jack looking at his dad omg. <3 <3

I already like this speech from Cas. I can tell it’s gonna be good.

“I guess I found a family.” <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

JACK’S LITTLE SMILE!!!

“And I became a father.” THERE IT IS!!! THERE. IT. IS!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

THE WAY JACK LOOKS AT HIM AFTER HE SAYS THAT AHHHH!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

AWWWW!!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

GOOD SPEECH CAS!!! GOOD SPEECH!!! WAY TO MAKE YOUR SON FEEL BETTER!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

Awww...I really like this pastor. <3

FRIIIICK.

Oh sh**. There’s the time for everyone else.

JESUS!!!

Yeah okay. This is 100% a human being’s doing. A monster wouldn’t bother.

Jack running over to turn it off right away. Ever the hero. <3 <3

The pastor seemed too surprised to have done it, which, for me, puts pastor in the clear. Thank goodness.

True, but also he sucks, so help us out Amara.

Okay, I’m sorry, but quick side note. Everyone keeps saying he’s “very nearly done”, but when Dean looked in the telescope, he didn’t see anything. I thought that meant he was done. Unless it only reaches so far? I guess it probably only reaches so far in terms of other dimensions.

Sure there is.

“Our pal Jack.” That’s such a weird thing to hear him say, but okay. XD

Also I’m not sure how I feel about them telling Amara about Jack. Like, I like her, and I feel like she’s gonna help, but what if she doesn’t? She could, whether intentionally or unintentionally, wind up seeing Chuck and mentioning Jack to him, and if she does, that ruins the whole plan. But, on the other hand, I guess they have to earn her trust, and keeping details from her would definitely make that harder. But I still don’t like it. It puts my baby in danger. Again. But anyways.

Oh. Just like that?

“I get he’s your brother” Dean says oh so casually, as if he hasn’t literally moved heaven and hell to protect and save his own brother.

“Squirrely weirdo” XD XD

Oh. The Big Bang. New theory. I like it. XD

Sure he can.

Ummm...yeah, Amara. You’re a fool. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself. Maybe he cares about you a little, but definitely not as much as you’re giving him credit for. Not right now anyways.

Wait...she actually said no? No way. I thought they were gonna be able to convince her. Guess my initial theory was wrong... What does that mean though? Like...what now?

Jack’s gonna come slamming through that door, according to the promo.

Called it!

Wait...why did Jack slam through it while Cas is just...casually standing there? You’re an angel, Castiel. XD

“Lust” It is based on “Seven”! I love it!

Welp...guess it’s not him.

Wait, so we are walking away with a no? That never happens to us!

THERE we go. Go get her Dean.

Is it just me, or has Sam been, like, really not involved this episode?? Jared’s had, like, six lines. XD

OH! Okay, the “then” makes sense now.

Oof. You tell her, Dean.

That she sucks. That’s what she wanted. Because she does.

Wait NO WAY! That’s what I said! Kind of, anyways.

Woooow. That’s actually pretty messed up, Amara. But it makes sense for why Mary was such a terrible character and why I hated her so much. She is only human. A sucky human, too.

Is it, though?

“That you could finally start to accept your life.” Okay, that’s actually kind of cool, and that’s awesome on the writers’ part for adding in that explanation of why everything went the way it did. Nice.

But also, that’s pretty messed up Amara.

Oooh. We’re about to get some awesome Jensen acting, aren’t we?

Jensen’s trying not to cry face is so incredible wow.

Awww....poor Dean.

Jesus Amara. A little sympathy?

OOF. I love that quiet fury that Dean has.

OOH! He got her!

YES DEAN!!! TELL HER!

“Well now who’s living in a dreamworld?” ...ouch. But true.

...oh boy. That was a bold-faced lie. But so brilliantly told, Dean.

After ALL THAT, you’re going to THINK ABOUT IT? Really??!!

But hey! I KNEW IT!! BEAUTIIFUL acting moment on Jensen’s part!! AWESOME scene. <3 <3 <3 <3

Oh! It’s the girl. I’m calling it.

Yep. Daughter.

I KNEW SHE WAS BEING WEIRD!

See?! Super religious people are crazy!!

Go Cas and Jack go!

Ope. Cas is gonna heal, and Jack is gonna attack. Go boys go!

Cas is gonna heal in front of all those people oof.

Girl has ISSUES.

Wow, this girl is WAAAAY too religious. Chill.

Yeah, cause you need help.

HEY!!! NOT COOL SYLVIA!!!

Oof. Yeah nice try, but that’s not gonna work.

I love how Jack just takes it and then heals all bada** like “yeah sorry but no”, but then he still looks up with the kindest and most innocent expression and I love it. <3

Meanwhile Cas is like “yeah I’m not having any of this.” XD XD

Does...does he always have to say sleep when he does it? Cause he didn’t used to, and for some reason, that was hilarious. XD

Jack’s little nod. So cute. <3 <3

Fixed her fingers, but couldn’t wash the blood off. XD

Yeah ummm...how you gonna explain that one, Cas?

At least pastor dude seems nice. And, like, being the good kind of religious, he’ll probably be totally cool with the angel thing.

Wait, pastor dude is still processing this when morning hits? Okay then.

“Not a very good one.” WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! You are literally the BEST angel, thank you very much.

Man that girl is MESSED UP.

And Jack still feels sorry for her, my baby. :( <3 <3

Ah. Nothing like your daughter becoming a murderer for you to finally step into a proper role of fatherhood.

WAIT A SECOND! IT’S ZACK!!

Dude waaait. What does that mean?? That’s, like, a really random thing. Does that mean she’s gonna come back? Or that Zack is gonna come back? I’m not sure what that means. That seems so random! I DEMAND ANSWERS SUPERNATURAL!

The way Cas looks at Jack after the pastor says that about looking after her better. Cas I don’t know what you’re thinking, but you’re the best father Jack could’ve asked for, okay?

Awww! Cas and Jack talk time!! <3 <3

Cas is trying so hard to help him I love him. <3

NO YOU DON’T STOP!! THIS IS WHAT FAMILY IS FOR!! WHHHHYYY are all you Winchesters like this.

Wait. WAIT! He was hiding something?! I hate it when Sam’s right.

Wait WHAT?!

HOLD ON!!!

NOOOOO NO NO NO NO NO!!! NO! JACK NO!!! That is NOT ALLOWED!!!

HOLD ON A SECOND!!! NO!!! THAT IS NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING WTF??!!!

Wait wait wait. A bomb?? Like, just like S11?? Because no. No no no. We’re not doing this again. JACK YOU ARE NOT GONNA DIE WTF??!!

THIS THROWS ALL OF MY THEORIES OUT THE WINDOW NOOOO!!! IT CAN’T BE JACK!!! I REFUSE!!! :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

WE JUST GOT YOU BACK!!! WE CAN’T LOSE YOU AGAIN!!! :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

Cas’s face is all of my emotional screeching right now.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN “Don’t tell Sam and Dean.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME JACK??!! THESE ARE YOUR DADS!! THEY NEED TO KNOW!!! YOU CAN’T DO THIS!!! CAS WON’T LET YOU!!!

JACK NOOOO!!! STOP IT WITH ALL OF YOUR GUILT! GOD you’re such a Winchester!! NO!! DEAN BAKED YOU A DANG BIRTHDAY CAKE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! YOU DON’T NEED TO DIE FOR HIM TO FORGIVE YOU!!!

I’M HAVING SUCH A HARD TIME TYPING RIGHT NOW WTF IS THIS SCENE??!! :’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

Me too, Cas!!!

SEE JACK??!! YOU CAN’T!!

NO! WHAT IS THAT?!

NO!! STOP IT!!! STOP IT YOU STUPID IDIOT NO!!! YOU CANNOT SACRIFICE YOURSELF LIKE THIS!!! THEY WON’T LET YOU!!!

Cas tell Sam and Dean. Please.

Oh WAIT! We have, like, two minutes left craaap. This is the scene from the promo. Cas is gonna say Sam and Dean need to know something and then it’s gonna end. I’m calling it right now.

YES CAS!! GO CAS GO!! SAVE YOUR SON!!!

Yep. Here it is. It’s gonna cut off.

GODDA**IT!! I HATE IT WHEN I’M RIGHT!!!

WHY YOU GOTTA DO ME LIKE THAT SUPERNATURAL??!! You can’t just...DROP A BOMB like that and then NOT RESOLVE IT GOD DA**IT!! SCREW YOU WRITERS!!!

AHHHHH!!! I NEED NEXT WEEK RIGHT NOW!!! AHHHHH!!! THIS IS SO NOT OKAY!!!!

If I deny it ever happened, then it didn’t happen, right? Jack and Cas solved the case, Sam and Dean got Amara’s help, and they all went home and had family dinner, okay? New ending. There we go. Problem solved. Because NO!

Well...f**k. I guess it’s review time?? But JESUS CHRIST!!! Okay, okay, I need a minute. Please hold.

(Several Hours Later)

Okay. I’m back. Let me start with something kind of amusing. Several minutes after the episode ended, while I was still trying to process everything, this interaction happened:

Me, breathing heavily and dying inside: Mom, you do not seem as distressed about this as I am.

My Mom: I am never as distressed as you are about anything in this show. It’s impossible for me to reach that level of distress. I don’t know how you do it.

So...if you didn’t already realize how emotionally connected to this show I am, now you do. XD

That said, let’s get down to it.

God, there is soooo much to unpack with that episode, and even crazier, it honestly all comes from that last five minutes. Let me start with this:

I really enjoyed this episode! It can’t quite beat last week’s episode--but, honestly, I don’t know if any of the other episodes will be able to, except for maybe the finale--but it was good! I had a few qualms about Matt Cohen’s directing, but he definitely had some strong moments, so it wasn’t bad. And, admittedly, at first, I felt like the pacing of the episode was kind of slow, and switching back and forth between the Winchesters and Cas and Jack felt kind of choppy for a bit, but as the episode played out, I realized why. This was a full-on set-up episode. While last week gave us a chance to be silly with the boys and see some beautiful family bonding, this was the one that set us up for what’s sure to be heavy and plot-filled coming up. (And yes, I know next week’s episode is much more of a monster-of-the-week, but 15x17 is when things will likely really get down to it, so I’m sure there’ll still be some important plot stuff next week--especially since we need a resolution to the Cas and Dean talk). Between the boys having to find and trick Amara, and Cas and Jack bonding and working with each other again, plus that big reveal at the end, it’s setting up the next string of episodes to be fast-paced and intense as they finally start to take on God.

With that said, I really loved being able to see Jack and Cas together again. It’s been so long since we’ve seen them really spend time together and bond, and watching them play off each other and be father and son was adorable and hilarious. Plus, I just love Jack with every fiber of my being, so that makes everything better. XD <3

I also really loved Dean’s interactions with Amara. I mentioned this already, but that scene, where he’s talking about Mary...that was some INCREDIBLE acting on Jensen’s part. He’s always been really good at that subtle rage, especially when it’s also filled with sadness, and this scene was no different. And I’m glad that they did finally get Amara on board; however, I’m a little concerned with what she’s going to do when she finds out he lied. Especially after how worried she seemed to be. AND SPEAKING OF LYING!!

THOSE LAST FIVE MINUTES! HOLY SHIT!!

Okay, so I’ve had some time to think about this and talk it out with some people, so I’m just gonna roll with the thoughts as they go through my brain. First of all, that is a big no a thousand times over. Jack, you cannot die. Second of all, that reveal was very well done on the writer’s part. After such a nonchalant episode--in terms of pace, that is--to have that in the last five minutes, AND to end with that cliffhanger, was a beautiful way to keep us fans guessing, invested, and wanting more. But also, SCREW YOU!

That said, as freaked out as I was--and honestly, I’m still pretty worried--I really don’t think Jack’s going to die. There’s no way. Initially, my theory left Cas and Jack standing at the end of all of this. After CW said that thing about one of the main characters not surviving to the end, I thought it was gonna be Dean, but I can also see how it could be both Sam and Dean. However, in any case, Cas and Jack, in my various theories, always end up on top. So Jack saying he’s going to die in order to kill Chuck and Amara TOTALLY threw me. BUT! After talking it through with someone else, I seriously doubt it’s going to happen.

First of all, Cas is about to go look for another way, and, as we’ve seen in the past, they always find another way. After all, this is the Winchesters (and yes, Cas counts, obviously).

Second of all, they’re telling us this five episodes before the end, but Jack is, supposedly, completing his final ritual in 15x17. That leaves three episodes of unaccounted time, and if Jack is really going to die to kill Chuck and Amara, there’s no way they can stretch that over three episodes. Therefore, his dads are bound to stop it. To FURTHER that, 15x17 has Jack and Dean heading out together to complete Jack’s final ritual while Sam and Cas stay behind, which means that, once Jack does whatever he’s supposed to do, Dean is bound to find out what Billie’s true intentions are, and I’m convinced that he’s not going to be okay with it. Because here’s the thing. Between Sam and Dean, Jack is the one that Dean still needs the most forgiveness from. And, kind of like what happened in Last Holiday, the second Dean realizes Jack is in actual danger, he’s not going to let anything happen to him. And I’m hoping that the resulting protectiveness will give Dean the chance to tell Jack that he does forgive him, which will hopefully release some of Jack’s guilt complex and give them the ability to find another way.

THIRD of all, (and I mentioned this in my reactions), this whole “becoming the bomb to kill the cosmic entities” is an exact mirror of what Dean tried to do in S11, and we saw how that went. But the thing is, why would the writers play the exact same storyline again unless they were intending to parallel it and connect it to Jack and Dean’s relationship now? When Dean didn’t detonate in S11, he got his mom back, but then Jack killed her. Now, Jack is ready to detonate himself as a bomb because of having killed Mary, and Dean’s bound to stop him, especially after that conversation with Amara. Maybe this is all wishful thinking, but I really, sincerely feel like (and hope) that Jack isn’t going to make that sacrifice. Because, on top of all of that, while I love the family that is Team Free Will 2.0, this show still is, as it always has been, about Sam and Dean, and, as such, it should end with them too. So the odds of Jack being the “be all end all” without Sam and Dean’s help? Super slim.

So, to sum that up, as worried as I am about my baby, I really really really think (and god I hope I’m right) that that’s not the way this story will end. There has to be more to it.

With all of that addressed, let’s talk about WHATEVER it is that Cas is about to tell Dean. For me, there are two things it could be:

First, there’s the obvious answer based on the episode itself. Cas is about to tell Dean that Jack has to die in order to kill Chuck and Amara. However, I don’t think that’s it, because that seems too easy and unrealistic. If Cas tells Dean that now, then why would Dean take him to do his final ritual in 15x17 (I guess this is what happens when you read too much promotional material lol)? And even if he does, the next episode seems to be very Sam and Dean centric, and Cas dropping a bomb like that would not allow for a Sam and Dean centric episode, at least not when it’s putting their whole big mission in a different light. Plus, on top of all of that, that Cas and Jack conversation is an exact parallel of the conversation the two of them had about Cas making his deal with the Empty back in Season 14. Cas told Jack not to tell Sam and Dean, and Jack never did, even though his life is at risk. So Cas telling Sam and Dean about Jack now, knowing that Jack kept that secret for him, might break a certain level of trust between the two of them, and I don’t think Cas would do that. Which brings me to my second and, in my opinion, more likely theory.

Cas is about to tell Dean about his deal with the Empty. While this would also be a huge bomb to drop in the middle of this big fight, and in the middle of all this chaos, it technically doesn’t directly correlate with their fight with Chuck. However, if something does happen to Cas, that’s something that Sam and Dean do need to know, because it’ll affect how they handle things and what they do, in a lot of ways. At the same time, I feel like, if Cas is gonna do a whole “go it alone” thing, it’s important that he tells them before he leaves, because there’s no telling what could happen, to any of them, when they’re not all together, and being as open as possible before separating like that tends to be a good idea. It seems like Cas might finally be learning.

That said, I could be wrong all around. It could be neither of those things. It could be both of those things. Honestly, there’s no way to know for sure until we get to next week. However, after a crazy ending like that, I am definitely looking forward to seeing what Supernatural has in store for us next.

My Rating: 8/10

#my review #my reactions #spn #season 15 #spn season 15 #spn spoilers #15x15 #gimme shelter #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel #jack kline #cas and jack #sam and dean #spn 15x15 #spn reactions #ratings #personal

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ibitchytimemachine · 6 years ago

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I haven't been reading fanfic as much lately due to some real life BS and I have been working extra hard on a piece for the @vegebulocracy mini bang! If you don't know what it is, you can check out my review of the Big Bang fics by clicking here, or you can check out the FAQ for the VBO Mini Bang by Clicking here. (once the fics drop, I will voraciously consume them and write up an overview for y'all!)

Now, with that out of the way, ON TO THE REVIEW. There will, as always, be Spoilers below the cut!

The first thing that stands out to me is the world building of this story. The palace feels like a real place. It is huge and even though (through POV) we are only privy to a small slice of the space, it feels vast. The exploration of the races is really interesting to me. I really am nerdy when it comes to this type of thing, and the variety of humanoid races in the piece is fantastic. There isn't just one or two races that are explored, and the writer is really smart how they introduce and develop the important characters. Also interesting are the dynamics between Vegeta and his Father, and the Saiyan race and the Colds/other races (Im not gonna get into this in the review, but its an interesting dynamic set up that I want to see explored more).

So diving in a little deeper. Humans are practically extinct, but Saiyan males are like uber attracted to the women AND the Human-Saiyan hybrids are good match. The Saiyans like humans so much, that most of the human men are killed and one of the only ones left, Yamcha is being forced to impregnate as many of the female left as many time as possible. The way that the writer treats Yamcha is fantastic. I am granted not a huge Yamcha fan, but through the story events, you just can not hate him. He is being molded by his circumstances, and boy howdy Yamcha’s circumstances are pretty fucking terrible. Can I say how much I love the fact that in this society a hybrid is not looked down upon? Like whoa racial acceptance and diversity FTW! Now there have definitely been hints at the fate of acceptance of our Prince Trunks, but that is a problem for pretty far off.. maybe.

God I hate how much of a hoe Vegeta is. He fucks so many different women, and there is legit a plot bunny that literally explores the palace brothel and its treatment of the whores the Prince is down with/what he likes and doesn't (random tangent - like whoa, this flashback with his father and the princess who kisses him, damn - I thin I would be fucked up too Veggie, but I still have issue with who you have turned out to be). I think that you are supposed to have a love hate relationship with him, because one second he is acting incredibly out of character (for him) and lovey dovey and the next he is verbally/physically or emotionally abusing poor Bulma. While I understand WHY Vegeta is written this way, I low-key hate him. Two instances where I LOATHE him stick out to me, the first being when he fucks a chick while he forces Bulma to lay in bed with them and watch him (the subtext of him not being able to enjoy himself without watching/being near Bulma is interesting though) and then the next morning when he sexually assaults her for a little hand-gooing is just yuck. I will say that I think that if/when Bulma gets her head out of her ass SHE will be the link Veggie needs to finally stand up to and defeat his asshole father.

He does end up having to save and protect her a whole hell of a lot. Bulma is take from her home really kind of young, so she doesn't have the technological genius going for her in this story (and can I say I think this is an interesting exploration of how she would have developed away from her planet and in this hostile environment) and in fact she is dumb as shit. Like teasing the princess of a warrior race, who is supposed to be getting pregnant by Vegeta due to a treaty the two planets have set up, hello Bulma, WAR is in the races name - leave the crazy royal alone. Also wandering around LOOKING FOR THE DUNGEONS?! Whiskey Tango Foxtrot woman! You legit brought that shit upon yourself. Also what kind of terrible servant mother fucking FALLS ASLEEP in their masters beds? Like before he starts making her do it (a trope that I gotta say I hate to love) this stupid woman is CONSTANTLY FALLING ASLEEP IN VEGETAS BED. and then she is all like “no, I know I am being super disrespectful to you, and I know that you really want to do stuff with me, but I am gonna give you the worst bluebells of your life” like thank you @lightphyre for not having his outright rape her, which I unfortunately think would be very much in character for him in this story. anyway can we talk about the moment that made me think “imma write a review for this story?” So Bulma had just saved ChiChi from Yamcha (OMG Goku is a teacher to little kids? like this is him as the good dad to Gohan I know he can be - its far enough off but I just see all the fluffy moments in my head- love the treatment of Goku here) and Vegeta sees the danger IMMEDIATELY and has to drag Bulma away (come on Queen B, you are WAY smarter than you are being in this story, even without living with your parents and getting all the expensive education) then Vegeta, without prompting or even explaining what he is doing JUST MOTHER FUCKING TEACHES HER HOW TO GET OUT OF BASIC HOLDS. This was the moment that I was like... ok so maybe I only 90 percent hate him. He is mean as hell to her here, but like, she's a fucking idiot and needs him to be straight to the point, this also is the turning point for their relationship dynamic (he's still an ass, but what are you gonna do?) and leads to a mother fucking confusing, but kind of (in its own way) sweet moment between the two. This happens in Chapter 9, so if you don't read anything else, go read that shit... here Imma link the chapter for you... RIGHT HERE.

This shit is a low burn... Like Damn. I thought that Drought was killing me getting to the point (another great read I have linked the title for you), but like... even with all the kissing and the sexual assault and the consensual jacking off, its still leaving you just utterly frustrated. Like remember when I said Bulma was a fucking moron? She won't fuck Vegeta (even though she REALLY FUCKING WANTS TO) because she is a virgin (I get that part) but she wants to “be with” the father of her kids. But she mother fucking knows that she is about to be raped in front of like the whole Planet’s Elite forces to make more Human ladies for them to pound. She knows that literally no one she could be with will be faithful to her (although, I gotta be honest, I legit think if she would put out to Veggie, he would put the breaks on the Whores quite a bit - if not all together) She knows that she is in the best position she can be in, she knows her fate completely, and she is still not taking what she wants by the reins and saying, hey I am in this shitty situation, Why not do something that I want to for once and take a little control of my life? Like she's scared and weak here and I am not a fan of this particular characterization of her. I think she is too flawed. Do I still love her? Well yeah. I mean I hate Vegeta here too, but I think that it is nice that these characters have been made so flawed (and lets be real, the reasons behind their flaws are explained nicely) and they don't get together and instantly all their flaws are gone. It makes to story so much more real feeling. Its authentic how fucked up these two people are, and it keeps the reader reading. Shit I started this story last night around 10pm, and couldn't sleep until I ran out of story to read. Then I let for two hours and HAD to vomit all my feeling out on this blog. So that should say something about the quality of this story.

Two quick criticisms. The first is I am not sure if there is a beta, and if there is, he or she is not doing their job very well. There are a lot of spelling errors, and it is obvious where the writer had issues figuring out exactly what they wanted to say, because a string of thought will begin, and then the writer will double back and try again. so you will have one sentence with two beginnings. Its just really raw, almost like reading one of my reviews - where I type the way I would talk or how I am thinking. There is quite a bit of refined writing, and the world is amazing, but there are plenty of spots that need a polish that comes with a careful beta. It’s really easy to miss these types of issues without one, which makes me think that the writer is indeed without one. The second is that the story starts with this exposition dump that is entirely necessary for the story, but is just freaking painful to read. Like I almost didn't read the story at all because I began reading the first chapter three or four times and it is just boring. You don't care at the beginning of the story, and it is hard to read this kind of thing without giving a fuck about what is happening. I will say that it is all plot relevant and important, HOWEVER I do think that the writer has peppered this information throughout the story really well, and the information would have been more easily digested AND interesting to the reader if we had gotten into the story instantly. I might go as far to say that all of the information in the exposition MIGHT be unneeded as we get so much of the information from the exposition throughout the characters thoughts, reactions and actions.

Anyway - this story is fantastic. If you are looking for a really richly planned UNIVERSE and a dark AU that explores characters in a really interesting way, then you should give this story a shot. There are some pretty big triggers in it, if you couldn't guess from the discussion above, so if some of these things bother you, maybe stay clear of the story. I do indeed recommend this story though. Its well written (problems aside), well planned, full of plot bunnies that hopefully get resolved (Im looking at you War princess) and authentic. It has all the elements you need for a long running and successful story, and if my caffeine IV is anything to go by - it is completely binge-worthy!

If you liked this review, after you check out this fic, head over to my A03 and check my stuff out too!

#BTM Fic Review #Vegeta x Bulma #Dark AU

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jbuffyangel · 6 years ago

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Weekly Rundown 10/21/18-10/26/18

Time to rundown what I’m watching, loving, hating and everything in between! Spoilers ahead! Full episode reviews and reactions are linked in the titles.

Daredevil Season 3

Just so y’all know - most nuns do not wear their habits in public anymore. It’s been that way since Vatican II, but TV refuses to catch up.

The action is amaaaaazing again. I love how Matt actually gets tired when he’s fighting.

I don’t want Matt to put that ugly Daredevil suit on again he looks ridiculous. Keep the black mask and call it a day.

I want Foggy to propose very badly. I need a Foggy wedding in Season 4.

Is there any particular reason why Karen didn’t haul ass to Frank’s Punisher lair when her life was in danger and Matty Mcbrown eyes was off Daredeviling an existential crisis? That’s where I’d go.

Matt refusing to ask the other Defenders help because “it’s not their fight” is the stupidest reason ever.

Arrow (“The Longbow Hunters”)

It is a bit creepy when Stan says, “I bet a guy like that would do anything to keep his family safe.” Maybe Stan is a nuthouse, but leave me to my dream for now.

Is it me or did Yorke look older than 40? 1978????

Deputy Director Bell is evil. Calling it now.

The Longbow Hunters don’t actually use bows. This is a twist I did not see coming.

Bl*ck S*ren can’t lawyer worth a damn, but she can wear a suit.

“Stay behind me.” That was oddly hot Rene. I’m wildly uncomfortable that I find you attractive right now, but it is what it is.

Rene: Been back in town a week and you’re already sneaking out of A.R.G.U.S. behind Papa Dig’s back? I’m so proud.

Felicity: Thanks man.

This whole exchange was delightful and not remotely derogatory like “Blondie.” THY NAME IS CHARACTER GROWTH.

“Grab your balls Curtis, we’re going in.” If the Rene character only exists to say this one line of dialogue then it was worth it.

Why didn’t BS and Dinah go after the Longbow Hunter? What is up with allowing all these criminals to run away at a moderately brisk pace and our people acting like they can’t catch them? They are called legs! Move your ass!

BITCH YOU BETTER NOT STEP ON THAT PHOTO!!!!!!!

Legends of Tomorrow (“The Virgin Gary”)

Legends Season 4 premiere is fantastic and full of all the hi-jinks I’ve missed over hiatus.

“Speaking of the same old crap isn’t that what he did last year?”Legends gets points for acknowledging that Wally gets the storyline shaft a lot.

When you are officially a hero the time bureau gives you a medal, but I was more excited about the balloons.

It would be super weird if the Legends spent more than a day in 2018.

Remember when Oliver asked Sara to move in with him and she went running screaming in the other direction? It all worked out because Sara knew he was really in love with Felicity. I’m just saying she’s come a looooong way.

I want to be clear about one thing and it’s not up for debate. Ready? The best thing about Legends is Mick. It’s always Mick. That is all.

OMG NATE’S FATHER IS BIFF FROM BACK TO THE FUTURE?????!!!!!!!! THIS IS SPECTACULAR CASTING!!!

Manifest “Connecting Flights”

It was nice to fill in the back story of the characters left behind after the plane went missing, however the show is starting to lose my attention. I need more movement on these character relationships. Manifest is hitting a lot of the same notes week after week.

This Is Us (“Toby”)

Randall is going ahead with the city council job? Are they independently wealthy Does no one have to work?

Baby Toby is the cutest.

Holy crap is this how in vitro really works? It’s so friggin expensive and no guarantees. Wow, my sympathies to all those who have gone through this excruciating process.

Randall unbuttoning his shirt is all the reason I need to vote for him. Done deal.

Toby used his wonderful sense of humor to cheer up his depressed Mom. Ugh my heart.

But for real though sometimes you need just “one damn day.” #MomLife

Three hours to get ready Kate? Just as an FYI - that’s all over when you have a baby. You’ll be lucky to get a shower.

Miguel carried a piano up stairs to cheer Rebecca up. That’s love.

“There’s so much of her in you it scares me.” THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU SAY TO YOUR CHILD ASSHOLE.

A+ on the prom dresses. Absolutely what I wore in high school. We were fashionista slaves in the late nineties.

Kate’s impression of Adele is dead on.

Miguel tries so hard. He’s just trying to keep his promise to Jack.

Rebecca is such an amazing mom. Kate doesn’t give her nearly enough credit.

KATE IS PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Rookie (Pilot” and “Crash Course”)

I really loved The Rookie. I typically don’t hate procedurals, but this one has surprised me thus far. It’s fast paced, so it held my attention more. I hope it stays that way.

I love how it is the rookies versus the training officers. It fills my Rookie Blue void.

I am not invested in any ships yet. I am not buying the romance between Nolan and Lucy so far. I actually think Lucy has more chemistry with Bradford and Nolan with the Captain.

A Million Little Things (“Friday Night Dinner” and “The Game of Your Life”)

I want to love this show, but they are making it next to impossible. I hate cheating storylines in any show. It’s one of the main reasons I quit watching Shonda Rhimes’ shows because she is unable to write one without including adultery. Arrow’s original love story revolved around cheating and was an absolute mess. It feels like a lazy way to inject drama. This cheating storyline between Eddie and Delilah is making two characters who are otherwise very likable extremely unlikable.

Instead of jettisoning this plot into the atmosphere where it belongs and never speaking of it again, A Million Little Things is double down on it. Delilah is pregnant! Oh wonderful, now we get to play “Who’s the Daddy?” for several weeks.

Apparently, the writers come from The Fl*sh school of writing. Characters can only be mad at other characters for one episode. All the friends found out about Eddie and Delilah’s affair and the very next week they are sitting down to pizza. It’s at Delilah’s house and Eddie’s wife Katherine comes too because FRIENDS. No. Just no.

Instead of being angry at Eddie and Delilah, the friends make excuses for them. Regina’s conversation with Delilah turned into a huge “I didn’t see your pain” apology, which is flat out ridiculous. What Delilah did was so off the charts wrong there is no excuse for it. If you are in pain see a therapist. It’s not an excuse to cheat on your husband. Also, Regina you are not to blame for Delilah lying to everyone for over two years.

Gary, who has been the angriest, decides he’s being too hard on Eddie (ya know by actually holding him accountable for his actions) and lets Eddie move in with him after his wife finally kicked him out. Are you freaking kidding me with this? I was already mildly irked at Gary for giving Delilah a free pass, but I understood his reasoning because her husband just jumped off a building. She has been punished quite a lot. But Eddie? I think we could muster a couple episodes of anger towards Eddie.

The writers attempted drum up sympathy for Delilah by shining a little light on her seemingly perfect marriage with Jon. It’s not really perfect, but what marriage is? Jon was short with Delilah during a family dinner. He took a phone call from work and snapped, “Everything I do is for this family.” What a bastard. Of course, that is reason enough for Delilah to jump into bed with Eddie, her husband’s best friend. GIVE. ME. A. FRIGGIN. BREAK. If my husband slept with someone else every time I was cranky with him, he’d have a harem.

So, on top of being suicide apologists, the writers are adding cheating apologists. There is no reason to cheat. It’s just mean. Nobody has put a gun to your head. If you want out of your marriage you march to an attorney’s office and file for divorce. Not sure if you want a divorce? Then go to counseling. But cheating, under any circumstances, is wrong. It’s cruel and selfish. It’s trying to have your cake and eat it too. A Million Little Things trying to excuse away Eddie and Delilah’s heinous behavior is almost as bad as the cheating itself. Trying to make suicide and cheating okay with excuses is dangerous behavior. I AM NOT A FAN.

Stray Thought - on what planet is a school program presented in the middle of the freaking day? What kind of ridiculous school do Eddie and Katherine send their son to?

Blindspot (“The Quantico Affair”)

Zapata has a very interesting running stride. Sorry I was in cross country. That stuff interests me

Roman saying "He knows. This is it. Kill him" underscores the dramatic tension.

I’m gonna need someone on Team Blindspot to pick up on Remi's side eye. Y'all are FBI agents for goodness sake.

I don't actually know what Patterson's name is, but I feel confident it is not Lisa.

I think Martin Gero saw me write "Where is Patterson's storyline?" in my last review. I could have opted for patience, but complaining loudly via written word felt like a better plan.

Hey watch the condemnation Remi aka Jane aka double secret agent who told so many lies I can't keep it straight anymore.

OMG Rich not explaining how the tattoo was solved is the best thing ever. PLEASE DO THIS EVERY WEEK

I wanna talk about the Book of Secrets mostly because Rich calls it the Book of Secrets.

Hahaha. Her one night stand showed up at work. This is how Meredith and McDreamy began. I highly recommend elevator scenes too.

One night stand boy is Weitz's nephew. IT. JUST. GOT. BETTER

Sure Madeline come on in and check out our super secret tattoo murder board.

"Thundercats ho!" OMG was that an ad lib?

Totally ship Patterson and this dude. I should probably learn his name.

Somebody tell Rich about the one night stand. Pleeeeeeeease.

I'm not calling him Lincoln. He shall be known as "Slab of Man-Ham" forevermore.

Patterson and Rich are the perfect work wife/husband team. Remember Rich is the work wife

How does Weitz maintain employment? This may be the greatest of all Blindspot's mysteries.

Of course "Jane" and Weller are on the train Weitz. IT'S THEIR JOB. Seriously someone get this dude a DVD of #Blindspot S1-S3

Patterson girl, Jane is never that cranky with you when she's diffusing bombs. SOMEBODY NOTICE PERSONALITY CHANGES PLEASE!!!

"You're new here." ALL KNEEL TO PATTERSON.

#daredevil #arrow #this is us #legends of tomorrow #a million little things #blindspot #weekly rundown reviews #weekly rundown

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felicityb-reviews · 7 years ago

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Review Roundup - Week 2 January 2018

Hello loves!! My name is Jace (aka Felicity B), and this is your Review Roundup for the second week of January 2018!! I can't really tell if I liked this week in music better than I did last week. There's a better variety songs, at least.

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Beware (Stray Kids)

I really wanna like these kids, because it's obvious af that JYP does not.

But.

Nothing they've released has really been up my alley. Beware (I realize that the actual name of the song is GRRR Total Law of Madness, but sis...) sounds like a better produced version of Wolf, and you'd think that was a good thing because Wolf was a poorly produced mess. But this song takes itself so fucking seriously. It's not terrible, but it's not something I really want to listen to again.

I don't get JYP's angle with this group. First, there was the survival show that wasn't really a survival show (which I'm glad, because I fucking hate actual survival shows). And before that was Hellevator, another overly serious song that makes me roll my eyes. And now this. I really don't wanna be a dick because this is their second release and they're teenagers, but I'm not a fan of being growled at by a bunch of high schoolers and then having my ears assaulted by nasal singing (because, of course, their vocalists sound like they're trained by the same people who trained JB). It's not a fun experience.

Do betta, JYP.

Rating - 1/5

Going Going (Jang Wooyoung)

Oh look, it's another JYP act with a bad song!!

Okay, the song isn't that bad, but there's not enough positives for me to overlook the negatives. Of which there are many.

Firstly, this an uptempo that drags; I literally could not wait for the new section to begin, because I was ready for the last one to end. And this is New Jack Swing, baby. My black ass fucking loves New Jack Swing (yes, even The Boys). But I could give you an entire playlist of K-Pop songs in the style of NJS that are W A Y better than this.

Secondly, Wooyoung doesn't sound particularly good singing on top of it. The rap bits were the best parts of the song, for me. Which is about 90% not his fault, because whoever was on vocal production duties was slacking. His voice sounds like dude dropped them on the beat, adjusted the levels a lil bit, added some reverb to sound like he actually did his job, and went tf home.

Tragique.

Thirdly, the arrangement of this song is weird af. What do I mean by that?!?! There are two choruses. Yes honey, you read that correctly - two choruses. The song starts out with a section you'd assume is the chorus, but when you get to the second chorus, it's something completely different. In fact, you don't hear this first "chorus" till the end of the song again (which, in hindsight, I'm glad you only hear it twice, because the lyrics make me roll my eyes so hard and the vocal melody has the weirdest rhythm pattern). I guess that's not too weird when I write it out, but it majorly throws you off when you hear it play out in the song. For me, anyway. Which is surprising, because Red Light and I Got A Boy are All Time Faves™ of mine (with Oh! being a runner up). But I guess I just don't like it here.

#PickyBitch

And since we're on the subject of the arrangement... WHY ARE THESE TRANSITIONS SO FUCKING LONG?!?!?!!?! SIS, THE TRANSITIONS BETWEEN SECTIONS DON'T NEED TO BE 10 FUCKING SECONDS LONG!!! THAT IS UNACCEPTABLE!!

Once again - Do betta, JYP.

Rating - 2/5

Don't Leaves (Block B)

And here come the ballads!! We're not mad at it, tho.

We all knew what kind of ballad Don't Leave Me was gonna be. More of a midtempo than an actual ballad, Don't Leave Me sounds a bit like a B1A4 or Seventeen song, but with Block B's track record as of late, we're not gonna dock points for that. Don't Leave Me starts out with a filtered percussion section that they unfilter for about 2.75 seconds before getting into the verse, almost as if they're reassuring us that they haven't gonna completely left of center with this ballad. Which is nice, because it creates a nice transition (not the word I'm working for, but you get what I mean) into the verse. And from there, they layer in more elements to create a nice backdrop for Block B's vocalists to actually show us what they can do.

Because God knows Shall We Dance was literally Zico and the boys. It was fucking ridiculous.

From the teasers, I thought I was gonna hate this (or be extremely apathetic to it ) but I should've known better. These B1A4 style/YG template ballads always get me, sooner or later (*WINN4R cackling as Fool plays in the background*). This isn't something I'm gonna put into Heavy Rotation (because God only knows my hyperempathetic ass doesn't need another reason to randomly be thrust into a depressive episode), but I wouldn't relegate this to Shuffle Bait.

Especially with Zico and P.O sounding as good as they do here. Granted, Zico sings half his verse and P.O doesn't rap at all, but you gotta take those small victories where you can find them. And they have really nice singing voices, too.

Rating - 4/5

The girl from back then (LONG:D)

This, however, is a ballad that's going right into Shuffle Bait. If I even download it, at all.

Where is the LONG:D that gave me All Night, sis?!?!?! The intro literally sounds like the Sad Piano Music™ that Youtubers download en masse from those royalty free music sites. Like, I was literally tempted to skip this release all together, but I rather like the way LONG:D's vocalist sounds (if Baekhyun was a properly trained and a baritone who actually needed all that chestiness in his mix, with a dash of Kang Seung Yoon's rasp).

The girl from back then sounds like a more generic version of Seventeen's Campfire. It's not what I'd consider a classical ballad (has too much going on), but it's just as boring as one. On repeat listens, the Gospel influences (however faint they are) did grow on me, but I can't even see myself wanting to listen to this when I'm in the mood for downtempo ballads. LONG:D's voice puts this into Shuffle Bait, but just barely.

It's too anybody of a ballad, sis.

Rating - 2.5/5

Tell Me (INFINITE)

Dongwoo's demonic ass starting this song with a whispered "Anywhere, Anytime" should have prepared me for how catchy this fucking song was gonna be.

Tell Me, like Wooyoung's Going Going, starts off with the chorus. But instead of giving us two different choruses when no one needed that in their life, it makes a very typical pop song sound a lot more interesting than it actually is.

Now... What Tell Me's composers/producers did isn't original by any stretch of the imagination. I know it seems a little counterproductive to mention this before I explain what they did (and why it's so cool), but I just know someone is going to try me on this.

So.

Tell Me (after Dongwoo terrorizes us with the raspiness in his voice) starts with the chorus, but a very stripped back and simplistic version of it. If you're not paying attention (which I might not have been the first time I listened), you could easily mistake it for the verse. That surprised me, because composers/producers don't usually start out their songs with the chorus being sung, if they have the chorus first; they usually play the chorus melody using some kind of instrument that sounds important (like Orange Caremel's Magic Girl, for example). Tthey'll also usually have it going at full intensity, so when it switches to the verse it's very obvious that what you just experienced was the chorus (since that's usually the most important aspect of the song in pop music).

So yeah, nothing too left field, just an interesting twist on an oft used formula.

Outside of that, this song is a very typical INFINITE title track. Very intensity, much dramas. Which I don't hate, because they're one of three groups in K-Pop who can do a song like this, and not bore me to death.

Rating - 4.5/5

Secret Garden (Oh My Girl)

Secret Garden is Orchestral Pop. It's not just typical, it's cliche af. Even IU, circa 2010, wouldn't have touched this with a 10ft pole.

But God save us all, I really like this song. And it's not even that I'm OMG trash (their anti-South Asian foolery during Windy Day era, combined with my general disinterest with anything they've done since then, stopped that right in it's track), but that chorus melody, sis. It's just so G O O D!! That, combined with the sweet, almost milk chocolatey texture of the instrumentation makes me feel like I'm floating. And you know what, 2018 is all about me livin my best Gife™ (Gay Life), but it's also about me being self-indulgant and liking what I like, no guilt attached.

I will say that I wish that this song had more live instrumentation in it. Those strings are definitely synth generated, and it's kind of distractingly obvious. The percussion is also too heavy for this type of song. It feels like I'm listening to a demo that OMG's company decided to send to a mastering house and release, cause they couldn't be fucked to work on the song anymore. It doesn't ruin it for me, but I can't help but notice these things.

Rating - 3/5

Glow (Choi Jaemin featuring EZ KIM)

Glow is a Sad™ song for Sad Days™. This is a song that throws down a blanket of it's angst and just revels in it. And while that isn't something I'm trying to listen to On The Daily™, I can save this for for those really bad days I just need to cry out those ugly emotions.

Contrary to what I said about Secret Garden, Glow is a song I felt like could have been beefed up by some electronic elements. The bass could have been thickened up in post, because it feels too limp for a song like this. Hell, they could added a low af ass sine bass to sumplement the bassist, and I wouldn't have minded. Overall, the production of this song is very loose. And I get that super tight production in an emotive song like this would have bleached out all the emotion, but more could have been done to tighten up how the elements don't really blend together. Especially the vocalists. They don't really fit together like they should, and I guess that kind of enhances the experience since this song feels like one long ass disonant chord, but still.

Teenage me would have played this song to death. Which makes me glad that I'm not that person anymore.

Rating - 3/5

Lonely (Jo Kwon)

See... I wanted to be petty, and just post his dance videos with Lia Kim, but we're trying to be a better person in 2018.

This is a really nice ballad. Not something I'd put on Heavy Rotation (i feel like a fucking broken record), but if he H A D to do a classical ballad, it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I'd have preferred a ballad like his duet with Gain, Q&A, but it was nice of Mr Kwon to remind us plebians that while he is a Dancing Diva™, he did get his start as a ballad singer.

I'm gonna need him to throw it back to his Animal days for the next release, tho. This was nice and all, but I need to see him featuring in Hyuna's next comeback with those shiny red boots and a trope of male dancers.

Also in red heels.

Rating - 3/5

Candy Pop! (TWICE)

Firstly, can I just say that TWICE's Japanese team are R E AL L Y giving these girls the push to be huge, because this video is ridiculously high budget. That is the best animation I've seen in a J-Pop music video. And I used to be a huge J-Pop stan before I got into K-Pop.

Secondly, whoever put that pink monstrosity on my girl, Sana, needs to be fired. I just can't, sis.

Do betta, JYP.

Lots of people are not a fan of Candy Pop, and I can't lie - that's partially why I like it so much. I will admit that I'm a sucker for cutesy pop tracks like these, but I'm also a petty bitch who's no stranger to loudly stanning TWICE because people want to talk shit out the side of their mouths about their supposed lack of talent.

News flash Marleigh/Zeno - the concept of talent in K-Pop literally doesn't fucking matter, because your level of talent does not dictate the kind of music you produce. Groups like SPICA and Mamawhomst Mamamoo have songs that vary wildly in quality, because some of the people they've worked with get lazy af when they work with vocal groups.

Anyway, Candy Pop will do just fine in Japan, because TWICE already have a sizable following there and it fits within the sonic landscape. It also has some pretty cool musical twists, like a halftime break for a post-chorus refrain. I definitely like One More Time better (Candy Pop can get aurally tiring pretty quickly because of that chorus, which is why that post-chorus breakdown is appreciated), but Candy Pop is pretty great, too.

Rating - 4/5

Spotlight (MONSTA X)

Monsta X may have revisited their debut sound, but I don't want to stab them all for it. It's a Christmas miracle!!

Spotlight is Monsta X doin' what Monsta X does best - intense trapstep uptempos with choreography to match. The difference between something like this and Trespass (*shudder*) is that they're taking themselves W A Y less seriously. They look like they're having fun ruining our lives with how hot they are, and even though Spotlight isn't something I'd describe as ~fun~, that still translates to the music.

Spotlight was quite the surprise for me when Universal Japan dropped the video on us. Mostly because it was a Japanese release with a full MV on Youtube (don't look at me like that, Japanese companies are allergic to digital releases actually making sense), but also because I had no idea MX was in Japan.

Spotlight is a banger. It brings me joy to see MX showing their sons how to make music like this and not be absolutely boring or pretentious af. This song is definitely going on Heavy Rotation.

Rating - 4.5/5

Stagger (Cheetah)

This song makes me extremely uncomfortable.

And I get that that was the point, with the video featuring Cheetah in various states of intoxication, but... God, I just feel so fucking unsettled anytime I listen to this song. It feels Wrong™. I get the concept (it's actually pretty cool), but you can't just be outchea makin' songs that no one wants to listen to more than once. That makes no sense, sis.

How does one even describe this song?!?!?! First, there's that horn (I think) sample that has been manipulated to all fuck. There's no way in hell they just copy n pasted that from somewhere with it sounding like that. That's like the base of the song. And then you've got that stilted drum machine patterns, combined with parts of the song playing in reverse. Cheetah almost doesn't fit in this song with how sharp her rapping is, but it works (I guess), because it adds to the disonant atmosphere of the track.

I'm here for artistry and experimentation in popular music circles, but can we make songs that people can actually, you know... LISTEN TO?!?!?!?!?!?

I will say that I'm here for the preview she showed at the end of the video, tho. Ma'am outchea givin us High Fashion Butch™ with a tropical beat, and my wig was instantly in tatters.

Rating - 1/5

20th Century (V.E.I.L)

Idk who V.E.I.L is, but I love this song.

The quickest way to get me into your band is to give me New Wave. Or NuDisco. Or Deep House. Or Lo Fi Electronica (like 20th Century). To be honest, you could give me any number of throwbacks to the '80s or '90s, and I'd fucking love you.

But that's neither here nor there.

20th Century is a fun af song, and I wonder when this became such an oddity in K-Pop. Companies these days (as well as stans) are obsessed with perfection in their groups, at the cost of personality. And granted, it's always kind of been this way, but it's at an all time high these days. Every group performs like a well oiled machine. Which is great. But they look like robots. And with the music these agencies give their groups, it's not a pleasant experience. Very rarely is a terrible one, but at least when it's bad, it registers a reaction.

Anyway, 20th Century sounds like something I'd expect from the Polysics (now that's a throwback to my weeb days, if I've ever seen one), but more on the electronic side. It's got that same Lo Fi/'90s feel to it, but it's dressed up in '80s synthpop. Which is never a bad thing. A part of me almost wonders what this song would be like if an idol group promoted it, but she quickly hushes up when my logical side reminds her an idol group would never promote anything with production this Lo Fi.

I mean, there's TAHITI's Tonight, but sis... Let's not kick 9muses 2.0 while they're down.

Rating - 4/5

Butterfly (Weki Meki)

Fascinating how Weki Meki had to have their comeback delayed because of trouble with a shareholder, but they were able to push out this song for the Winter Olympics.

But I'm sleep, tho.

Weki Meki's Butterfly is a cover of the 2009 OST for the film Take Off, originally by Loveholics. Weki Meki's cover was released in honour of the 2018 Winter Olympic Games.

Um... I like Weki Meki's cover more than the original.

Weki Meki's cover is in the style of synthpop, and that fits the chord progressions and song structure a lot more than the pop/rock arrangement of the original. It also brings out the nostalgic vibes of the song, because these types of chord progressions were used very heavily in the '80s/'90s. After listening to Weki Meki's cover, the original just sounds flat and poorly produced. Which I mean, K-Pop didn't really have good production till about 2013/2014.

So.

The video linked above doesn't feature the full song, so here's a lyrics video that does.

Rating - 4/5

Electric Kiss (EXO)

Yes, I do realize this song has been floating around the EXOnet since around November, but I haven't seen an official release featuring the full song till this dance practice. And I've been wanting to cover this forever.

You guys, tell me why I thought EXO was really about to throw some 5th Harmony/BO$$ type shit down with that intro?!!?! I really thought I was about to get EXO outchea, flexin' on these heauxs, but maybe we aren't ready for alladat. Lordt knows the way EXO L reacted to Lotto shows it.

But that's neither here nor there, sis. What matters is how amazing Electric Kiss is. She starts out strong with heavy brass stabs and an even heavier drum beat, and only builds from there. Miss Kiss is not playin' games with us, ladies. She might not have been the BO$$ style flex that I thought she was gonna be, but that doesn't mean she's a slouch, neither.

When teasers for a Japanese EXO album turned up on SM's YT channel (which makes no fucking sense, but okay, girl), I was iffy. With singles out like Love Me Right ~romantic universe~ (as if adding a subtitle would make that song any better) and Coming Home, I was not hopeful. But Electric Kiss bangs harder than anything EXO has released since Call Me Baby. I never would have expected a Japanese EXO campaign to net me music this good with how bad their Japanese singles have are, but I really should've known better. EXO has always thrown down when it comes to the music, and Electric Kiss is a certified B A N G E R!!

I was tempted to put this in the Fabulous Five, but the songs there deserve to be, so...

Rating - 4.5/5

Refresh (TSUN featuring YUMADA)

So I see y'all just gon' hit me with the a sexier version of Blah!??!?!?! We really doin' that, sis?!?!?!

Alright, sis... Don't be mad when you see these rough ass body rolls.

Refresh, like I mentioned above, is a sexier version of Planetarium's Blah. It's the same kind Tropic/RnB hybrid arrangement, but the instrumentation is more Tropical than RnB. Miss TSUN's singing definitely gives Refresh an RnB vibe, tho. The production here is a little loose, but it's not too glaring obvious.

Rating - 3.5/5

The Fabulous Five

5. Timeless (Jaehyun, Doyoung, and Taeil of NCT U)

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Firstly, I need someone to tell me what song this sounds like, because it's been bothering me since release. These chords sound vaguely familar to me, I just can't tell what song Timeless shares them with.

Moving on.

When SM annouced that the NCT U Trio were making a comeback with a ballad for SM Station, I was not pleased. Station ballads are notorious for being lackluster af, and I was annoyed that SM really wanted this to be the song that followed Lower.

This is me eating my words.

I'm a little blown away at how amazing this turned out. NCT is a "group" (if you can even call them that) that has always come as more machine than man, so a ballad release (especially a Station ballad release) is the opposite of what I wanted from them. But they sound so raw and vulnerable here, it's a little heartbreaking.

Doyoung, Taeil, and Jaehyun are all very nice vocalists, but it is clear that Taeil is the main vocal of this unit, sis. Like... A bitch really started tearing up during his parts!! Doyoung and Jaehyun have the technical skill, but Taeil was really outchea singin' for his life!! And his belts are so nice?!?!? Fuck... He's really giving Taeyong a run for his money as my NCT bias, and I don't need this.

I can see why they wanted to do a live video here - K-Pop producers have a tendency to overdo the vocal production when doing studio recordings. And while that results in perfect vocals, it comes at the cost of any emotion or integrity in the vocal performance. And for an artform like K-Pop where the ability to emote isn't high up on the list of requirements for idols, that's a big fucking deal. Especially when ballads are usually used as more of a way to show off vocal ability than what they're supposed to. Which is kind of ironic, considering most main/lead vocalists have shit technique, and are usually picked for their ability to belt really powerfully (read - holler real loud).

I definitely would not have liked this if it was studio recorded. Yes, they're recording this *in* a studio (them vocals is too clean, sis), but... Y'all know what the fuck I mean!!

Rating - 5/5

4. Full Moon (Dreamcatcher)

youtube

Dreamcatcher said in a recent interview that they do enjoy their sound, and most of the members (literally everyone except one; and even then, she just wanted to branch out a lil) would like if they could go darker. So I guess this is their agency honoring that.

Full Moon is a very typical Dreamcatcher song (which makes sense, since this is their anniversary release) with symphonic elements mixed within a heavy rock backdrop, which gives off the vibe of heavier J-rock and VISUAL KEI songs. And you wouldn't think that would make for a very pop friendly song, but their composers/producers use very pop-friendly chord progressions and song arrangements. Add in the members of Dreamcatcher (who have voices that are very suited to pop music), and you have a formula that shouldn't work. But it does.

It works, oh so well.

The video linked above doesn't feature the full song (I'm guessing they're gonna release the full video with their March comeback, because the song is already out in full), so here's their performance at their fan meeting that does.

youtube

Rating - 5/5

3. I'm all ears (Kim Taeyeon)

youtube

I'm all ears is a song from Taeyeon's Christmas album (which I might have downloaded, but never listened to). I'm guessing the video release is a gift to the fans type dealio, because she's not promoting it.

I find it interesting that I'm all ears was included on a Christmas themed album, because it feels springy. In fact, this song almost feels like Taeyeon heard Jessica's Because It's Spring, and decided that she wanted to make her own version. Which I'm cool with, because I like I'm all ears better. I like when Taeyeon gives us light and airy. Beltyeon is annoying, because her belts sound pinched and nasal. And Taeyeon relies on them far too much to cover up the fact that she can't emote very well with her voice.

But this is good.

I'm definitely putting this song on Heavy Rotation. I know, #Shocking. But if anyone peeped how I was fawned over Twenty Something from last week's list, it really shouldn't be that surprising.

Rating - 5/5

2. Love You (Eom Ji Hee)

youtube

Now this is a real throwback to my youth days (don't ask, I'm not about to become That Kind™ of blog).

There's something so... Nice™ about hearing something this raw and unmastered, especially since we're so used to hearing such high production values in K-Pop. And I know I've clocked other songs on these lists for having loose production, but the difference is that this is SUPPOSED to be low production; this is literally a girl singing with her backing band with a camera on. I could point out all the things "wrong" here, but they don't really take away from the performance. The songs I've clocked for being low production, however, were studio recorded affairs that missed the mark. And granted, not everyone can afford to send their shit to a professional mastering house, but it's not hard to get harmonies to sit nicely in the mix.

Anyway, this is another song that sounds real familiar (I'm pretty sure this is a cover, because even the vocal melody sounded familar, and that's a big fuckin no no), but it sounded real nice. This is musics I'm trynna listen to on good days when I can't sleep. The video is even perfect for it, with it's starry projection on the band!!

Rating - 5/5

1. Diamond Girl (MxM BRANDNEWBOYS)

youtube

Remember how I said you could give me any kind of throwback to the '80s and/or '90s, and I'd be happy?!?!?!

Diamond Girl is exactly what I'm talking about.

Diamond Girl is a funky n (most importantly) fun throwback to the '90s (with a little bit of '80s synth work thrown on top for good measure). The bass work is a highlight for me, and that damn "my diamond girl" hook won't leave me the fuck alone. That, and the "treat you like a gentlemen, like a gentlemen" (which is literally the same rhythmic pattern and interval as Chuu's "you attack my heart, you attack my heart" in Heart Attack) refrain are certified ear worms. Even the biggest pop haters couldn't resist those lines getting stuck in their head.

Like... I really don't know how to describe what I like about this song. Sure, I picked some stuff out, but that's just the tip of the iceburg. This song is balls to the walls A M A Z I N G!!!

2018 is the year of groups with lackluster debuts making amazing comebacks, I guess.

Rating - 5/5

Alright, babies, that's it for this week!! Don't forget to tune in on Friday for the next installment in my Jonghyun tribute with the first SHINee Feature Spotlight at 6pm EST, and next week at 6pm EST for this week's Review Roundup. Love you, guys!!

#Dreamcatcher #NCT U #Taeyeon #MxM #Eom Ji Hee #Doyoung #Taeil #Jaehyun #SNSD #Felicity B #Review Roundup #Review

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h1ghtechl0wlife · 8 years ago

Conversation

shapeshifting gays are cursed w/ more than shapeshifting

hl: clicks over to a book w/ a lot of reviews that has a nice cover

"When Nox was fourteen, his brother Joth murdered their older brother, their mother, and a human girl. Nox survived, but the attack wrecked his womb. "

RUNS

im in the Bad Section of supernatural mlm

jackalloops: I'm So Sorry

hightech.lowlife: i can't believe abo is a thing that exists out of fanfiction sites

....possibly existed BEFORE the ones on fanfiction sites

squints

i dont want to know

jackalloops: mpreg is abo only got big in self-publishing books around when teen wolf got popular

bc that's where the dynamic started

hightech.lowlife: wh what

jackalloops: in fandom not the show*

hightech.lowlife: i think we've had this exact conversation like 3 times but

oh ok

like not okay but

jackalloops: like there's alpha/betas/omegas in teen wolf but in traditional werewolf fashion not "omegas have vaginas between their balls and ass"

"and everyone sprays their rank musk thru the streets"

hightech.lowlife: y e ah what wrong w ppl

jackalloops: "women don't exist possibly, also"

hightech.lowlife: why am i finding this on amazon

jackalloops: bc amazon lets u self publish

jackalloops:honestly i wouldn't be surprised if this werewolf one [one i linked earlier] is also abo, just hidden

a secret abo-verse

she's the one who wrote the bear shifter books

hightech.lowlife: it better not be bc it looked cute

jackalloops: i can absolutely almost confirm that it's gonna have bo flavor

hightech.lowlife: god dammit

why cant i have gay werewolves tha tDONT GET PREGNANT

am i asking for the MOON zephy

jackalloops: i mean, basicall yes

hightech.lowlife: see what i did there

rev and google have a smirking cat emoji

discord is lacking

imagine one

jackalloops: things i can offer: avoid female authors bc they inevitably started writing gay shit from fanfic and most m/m werewolf writers have their roots in teen wolf's Horrible Fandom unless it's pre-2000

2010ish?

hightech.lowlife: i was leery of the female author for that reason but i thought mb........

but yeah it's like

a Notable issue

i try to avoid female writers for mlm stuff anyway bc just

bad.

incorrect

bad words

jackalloops: saammeeee

someone fanfic writers r fine but once they're trying to publish something it goes

wrong

here's someone who reviewed it who's also reviewed mpreg and abo-verse stuff (link)

me, stalking for good m/m werewolf books

hightech.lowlife: u g h

jackalloops: additionally why would u connect ur legal name to 30ish reviews of mpreg novels

hightech.lowlife: stressful

one of the top reviews on the book i'd been looking at bc it had like 22 positive reviews was like

"though this would contain m-preg was sorely disappointed"

but like

crytyping.

jackalloops: thoug,,,t this woul..dd countaim m---rpef waas sorely disappoin tes

hightech.lowlife: stumbles away from mlm shapeshifter/paranormal books in defeat, AGAIN

jackalloops: same, honestly.

hightech.lowlife: i just hate romance being the only thing in a book (or even like, 5% of the writing) but thats all there is in gay fiction!!! and u think itll get better if u go for a genre like horror or fantasy or smth but it just gets WORSE

kicks something over

a straight person, probably

jackalloops: animals i've noticed aren't used in abo-verse/mpreg fiction: felines (exception: jaguars, for some reason????), reptiles, mermen (unless they're spawning mermen in which case sorry it's awful no one wants to read about clouds of cum in the water that's not??? attractive??? to literally anyone salmon literally die after it happens is how bad it is)

hightech.lowlife: goes over in a huff to ao3 since i've found Trustworthy authors

jackalloops: bears usually aren't unless it's like hypermasc

hightech.lowlife: goes to search i was in

jackalloops: and not even i am into hypermasc

hightech.lowlife: "X has no idea Y is capable of falling pregnant "

IM FEELING VERY ATTACKED

jackalloops: also usually it's hypermasc bear shifter + tiny human boy just on the cusp of adulthood

usually underage

hightech.lowlife: j e su s

and ye ive noticed that abt cat shifters? but try and find gay cat shifters that dont have 100% romance stories

you cant!!

jackalloops: see also with bear shifters/werebears: grossly misrepresented bdsm (no safe words, no consent, not sane)

hightech.lowlife: why

where have all these things come from

oh right

straight women

jackalloops: (:

hightech.lowlife: also, my rec's from bookgorilla ended with a book, in the lgbt section, about a mom sending her gay son to conversion therapy camp because she's religious and 'struggling'

hasn't my day been bad enough????????????????/

jackalloops: that's not .... lgbt... .. . . . . .

hightech.lowlife: well see the whole family LEarns together and grows later and it's

uplifting

you know to straights

kicks something really hard

definitely a straight this time

jackalloops: petition to not let any straight people write any gay literature

hightech.lowlife: signs it seven times

jackalloops: hey actually i bet i could email the white house and b like "dr mister potatonut straight ppl have been writing Too Much Gay Fiction, can u make it illegal and only allow The Gays to produce gay content "

and dumptruck would b like ur absolutely write straight ppl aren't allowed in gay space anymore

hightech.lowlife: snorts

jackalloops: https://68.media.tumblr.com/1793dfec84c0b1ae337a05a53dd0ba41/tumblr_o4711oNXs21syym37o1_500.gif here the dark haired one kinda looks like a werewolf

hightech.lowlife: cute

jackalloops: light haired dude is possibly a cat of some sort

serval?

hightech.lowlife:d efinitely.

jackalloops: neither of them can get pregnant.

hightech.lowlife: omg i wans thinkgin servla

jackalloops: that's about where my creativity ends sorry

but i assure u, no mpreg or abo in that gif

hightech.lowlife: omg neither of them can get pregnant... a dream

what a good story

claps

#the straights #seriously im so fucking sick of it lol i just want some books #im sick of romance being shoved into everything anyway but im getting where ill just stop reading a book if the cool characters #suddenly are just like omg u a woman and me a man we must do the fucking #or u kno the kissing or w/e #but anyway im done and i dont want to read it #and if im reading it it at leas tbetter be a GAY shoved into the plot romance subplot #im sick of every story being #there was a girl... shes rad... and then... a BOY.............................#and vice versa #long post #zephy

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