#all while his brain is screaming at him that his brother could’ve gotten so hurt and it would’ve been his fault

[made-my-peace-with-all-the-bad]

Thinking about Trip caring about Melvin and being scared that he showed up to a rumble, but by the time Trip noticed, it was too late to stop him. Thinking about Trip who needs to make sure Melvin and Sergei get home with him. Thinking about Trip who’s really worried that his little brother got hurt in the rumble but he has no idea how to express that. Thinking about Trip who can’t tell his brother he was scared because that means being vulnerable, and he doesn’t do that. Thinking about Trip checking his little brother for broken ribs and stitching up his cuts all while yelling at him for doing something so stupid. Thinking about Trip lecturing his brother and having no way of telling him to not do that shit ever again because he was scared.

Just Trip having no idea how to express his fear beyond anger and being so scared when he saw Melvin at the rumble.

[beautifulmadnesss]

"Check My Vital Signs to Know I'm Still Alive" Shelby!Reader

Summary: SEASON 5 SPOILERS!! Oswald Mosley had a spy within the Shelby family and when he learns of Tommys plot to have him killed, he not only foils the plan, but takes something from Tommy

A/N: This is basically me obsessing over a theory of what happened at the end of season 5 and throwing in a Shelby sister :) also John lives. This does get fairly dark, so read with caution, but to be clear this is NOT an x Mosley fic

"Oh, hi, Gina." I said, trying to at least somewhat disguise the distaste in my voice.

"I was just going to have some tea while Michael finishes the meeting. Would you like to join me?" I wanted to punch her in the face, but I knew Tommy would rather I kept a close eye on her, so instead I forced a smile and followed her into the hotel.

"Thank you," I said when she handed me the cup of tea.

"I appreciate you joining me, I know that I didn't come here on the best of terms and most of you think I'm manipulating Michael, but I just want to have the opportunity for you to really get to know me." She sat down next to me on the couch with a warm smile.

I still didn't trust her, but she was at least trying, so it was only fair if I gave her a small chance.

"We are just a really close family and a lot of people want to hurt us, so we have to be careful." I took another deep sip of the tea, while she gave a light laugh.

"I've never met anyone like this family. It's as if you're untouchable. You certainly have made quite a few enemies, do you think it might be because you guys are really the enemy." Her voice was just as light, but her eyebrow was quirked.

I took another sip of the tea and felt slightly fuzzy, having to blink a few times before answering. "I-" My mouth was so dry, I took another sip of tea trying to clear it, but the moment I swallowed the tea the cup and saucer fell to the carpet.

My brain was so foggy. I shook it lightly trying to clear it, blinking rapidly, but nothing was working, I could barely keep my eyes open. I looked up at Gina who was smirking.

"Not so untouchable now are you?" She taunted as my body went limp against the couch and my eyes fell shut.

Finn's POV

John burst through the door causing me to tip over the glass of whiskey. Before I could say a word, he grabbed the collar of my jacket and threw me against the wall, immediately getting in my face and screaming. “You told Billy didn’t you!”

“What the hell are you on about?” I already knew what he was talking about, but I wasn’t about to admit that to him.

“He took your sister, bet you didn’t think about, eh? Just whores and snow that’s all you give a shit about now. Didn’t think about anyone else when you were running your mouth to your new best friend, did you?” He slammed my head back, hard. I had never seen him this angry. I looked around the room at each of my brothers who were doing nothing to stop him and then I saw Ada and what he said hit me.

“No, I-I saw her, she left right before me, said she had to go pick something up, but she would meet me there. I thought-“

“You didn’t think!” Arthur was the one yelling now. “I told you not to trust him and you didn’t listen.”

“How do you know Mosley took her, maybe she’s just-“ I stopped, trying to think of some excuse why she wouldn’t be here.

“We checked everywhere, but nothing.” Michael walked into the office with his wife, Gina. “No one’s seen her since she left here.”

“I didn’t know, I swear! I only said we were going to kill the facist, nothing else!” I felt the tears welling up, I couldn’t believe I had put my little sister in danger. I truly thought I could trust Billy.

“John let him go, it wasn’t him.” Tommy said, speaking up for the first time.

“He told Billy!” John argued.

“He told Billy right before both of them left, that was barely two hours before the assassination was planned. There’s no way he could’ve figured out all the details, gotten men in place to take out Barney and kidnap her in that time.”

“So it’s not my fault?” I asked weakly. Tommy shook his head.

“No, someone else betrayed us.” Tommy sighed, sitting back onto the couch and rubbing a hand over his face.

“It doesn’t matter who betrayed us, who took her and where the bloody hell is she?” Ada yelled.

“Whoever betrayed us is the same person who took her. We figured that out and then we figure out where she is. We will get her back.” He reassured her. “Finn, you and Isaiah go with Michael to find Billy, he may not have been the one who betrayed us but he may be able to find out who did. Polly, you take Ada and Gina back to the house stay there with Esme, Lizzie, and the kids. John and Arthur you’re with me. We are going to work as a family and find our sister.”

Once we found Billy, after looking for an entire day, and brought him back to the Garrison to ask him questions, we all decided it would be best if I went to the office with my brothers while they questioned him. I knew they were going to beat him and his was my friend, but if he had any part in my sister going missing, I didn't care what they did to him.

I arrived at the office the same time as Johnny Dogs, so we both walked straight back to Tommys office where the three of them were sitting and talking.

"I told you to stay with Isaiah and Michael." Tommy scolded.

"They're questioning Billy now and we figured it's best I was here to help you guys."

"Very well. Johnny?" He turned to face Johnny.

"I did what you asked, but now one has seen her since she was with Gina," he replied.

"You mean Finn." Arthur corrected.

"No, the last time I saw her was after she left with Finn, she was going into the hotel with Gina."

"Why the fuck wouldn't you mention this before?" John fumed.

"I thought I told you. I didn't think it was worth mentioning twice."

"You don't think Gina had anything to do with it, do you?" I asked.

"What do we know about her? She showed up with Michael just before I met Mosley. She's been pulling him away and trying to pull this family apart." Tommy processed out loud. "Johnny, I need you to go to the house and watch over the women, grab Isaiah and Michael from the Garrison. You can tell Isaiah, but do not let Michael know. Either you or Isaiah must be with Gina at all times, but don't tip her off." He nodded at Tommy and then headed off.

"Finn," I snapped to attention, looking toward him immediately, "relax, this is not your fault. I told you we are going to get her back."

"Tommy, it's been nearly two days and all we know is that it was likely someone in this family that was the mole that handed her over to some psycho who is probably torturing her right now. How is that getting her back" I was desperate and no matter what Tommy said, I was the last person who saw her, I should've gone with her. "I can't lose her Tommy, you made me promise to protect her and I told you I would."

"Finn, you were a kid when I said that. You're barely adults. I promise you we will bring her home soon." His hands were on my shoulders as he spoke and then he pulled me into a hug, something he hadn't done since we were little. It helped, but all I could think of was what was happening to my sister.

Shelby sister POV

My head was throbbing and it took a few minutes before I could open my eyes. When I did I saw a blurry figure sitting across from me. After blinking several times it slowly became clear that it was not just one person, but two, one directly across from me and one off to the side. I immediately zeroed in on the second person sending her the best death glare I could manage with my head feeling as though it was going to explode.

"You evil little bitch." I spat, though she didn't even flinch.

"Go be with your husband, Gina. I will contact you when it's time." She quietly obeyed, smirking at me as she shut the door behind herself. My glare turned to the person standing in front of me. "Miss. Shelby, it's a pleasure to get to know you a bit better."

"It would be a bit more of a pleasure if I wasn't drugged and trapped in a cell." I sassed.

He grinned broadly and leaned forward on his knees. "I admire you. Two days trapped in a cell completely at my mercy and you still manage to keep that fire." Two days? My stomach rumbled painfully, confirming what he said. "Ah yes, I thought you might want some food and water." He stood up and walked to the door, going through it and getting a glass of water and a plate of food, before calmly walking back over to me. He carefully set the food on the floor between us, a juxtaposition to his next act, which was violently throwing the glass of water, so that it hit my forehead and shattered. I gasped as several of the shards cut my face and the water drenched me. "Now, would you like to discuss how you can get some food?" His voice was eerily calm.

I couldn't respond for a few moments. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I was terrified. He outplayed Tommy, who was the smartest and toughest person I knew. Part of me knew my entire family was searching for me, but I also knew Gina was with them and probably making it as hard as possible. I was scared she would hurt one of them and concerned what Mosley was going to do to me in the time it took them to find me.

"So quick to give up?" He taunted, sparking a small spark of fury in me.

"I don't want anything from you." I growled.

"I'll be back tomorrow to see if you've changed your mind, darling." He stalked over to me, bent down slowly and placed a firm hand under my chin, squeezing tightly. I didn't let him speak, I gathered the minuscule amount of spit from my mouth and put all the force I had behind launching it into his face. None of it hit him, but the act of rebellion was enough to make him shift his hands to my throat. He squeezed tightly and I grabbed feebly at his wrists, desperately trying to create enough space fore me to breathe, but he was unrelenting. "Don't test me. I will not kill you, because I need you alive to torment your brother, but I swear to you, I will make you beg for the mercy of death." He punctuated each of the last three words with a shake of my head. "I will ensure that I give you just enough food and water to keep you on the brink of death, without allowing you the release it would bring you." Black spots danced around his head and just before I thought I was going to pass out, he let go. I fell forward against him, coughing and gasping, trying to ignore the pain in my throat and replenish the oxygen in my lungs. Unceremoniously he stood up letting me fall forward and walked out without another word.

It was winter in Birmingham and Gina apparently had decided I didn't need my coat, just the slim silk dress I had for the speech that evening, so the water I had thrown on me was only adding to shivers that ran through my body, quickly turning into full body tremors. I tried to pull my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around myself to trap any body heat I had. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop the tears from flowing, sometimes turning into soft sobs, which felt like sandpaper scraping the insides of my throat. They're coming. I chanted over and over inside my head. I just had to be patient and last until they came. They were going to walk through that door and I was going to be home, with my family. I am going to survive this.

"Are you sure about that, darling?" I jumped and looked up to find Mosley leering over me. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath trying to push the fear I felt to the side.

"I'm not going to promise you that they will kill you, because once they show up, I will be the one to kill you." My voice was hoarse, but I locked eyes with him meaning every word.

His smile didn't falter in the slightest. He leaned forward and brushed away some of the tears that remained on my cheeks. "I believe you, but the question is, will you be so broken by then that you can never come back?" I flinched back, but had nowhere else to go when his hand trailed from my cheek down my neck and chest.

"Don't touch me," I squeaked, but he only laughed, grabbing the top of my dress and pulling hard, the thin fabric giving way almost immediately. I kicked out hard, but with days of no food or water and nothing but bare feet, it did nothing to detour him.

"Relax, I'm here to offer you a deal first. You seem as though you could really use some food and water." He sat back and pulled some soup from behind him. I involuntarily inhaled the smell, my stomach wrenching painfully. He dipped his thumb into the soup and brought it to my lips, dragging it across the cracks that had long since bled and dried. He pushed slightly and I tried to keep my lips sealed, but I was so hungry it was a losing battle. Eventually I gave way and I wasn't sure what made my stomach turn, the look of victory on his face of the feeling of his finger in my mouth. I hated him and was seething. His own comment from the last time about not giving me food unless he had to was what pushed me to bite down hard on his finger. His reaction was instant, gripping my shoulders and spinning me so that he could pin me to the ground and hover over me. I heard my own scream and the clattering of what must've been the soup spilling. There was no hesitation as he grabbed the bottom of the dress, tearing it easily. I had no strength in my body to fight him, but that didn't' stop me from trying. "I told you, I will break you," he growled in my ear, before biting down hard on my shoulder, tearing another scream from my already raw throat.

Finn's POV

Four days. We knew it was Gina and yet she made no moves to do anything other than sit with our family as we all grew more and more anxious. Tommy was locked alone in his office most of the time, John and Arthur took turns exploding, Isaiah and Michael were out most of the time looking for any clue. We were all desperate to find her, but not even Mosley showed any signs that anything had changed.

The morning of the fifth day, Tommy called all of us into his office.

"Michael, we've been watching Gina the last few days. She was last person seen with her, something she lied to us about." Michael opened his mouth to cut Tommy off, but he held up a hand and he stopped. "She left early this morning and Johnny followed her to a building where Isaiah had followed Mosley to yesterday."

"You found her?" I asked, unable to contain the hope that consumed me.

"The four of us will go to meet Isaiah and Johnny there to find out. Michael you will stay here with the women and Charlie. I need to know now that I can trust you and that you had no part in this."

"I would never hurt her, she's my cousin. I love Gina, and I hope you're wrong, but if you're right, give me the opportunity to ask her why." Michael was uncharacteristically resigned. I think some part of him knew Gina wasn't on his side. The feud between him and Tommy had died out the moment we found out my sister was gone.

Tommy nodded at him and moved toward the door, while the three of us anxiously followed him, ready to go rescue our little sister.

Shelby Sister POV

He left, only to return momentarily with a fresh bowl of soup, some bread and a glass of water. Once he was out of sight, I left forward and inhaled the food, feeling a small amount of strength return. Then, I remembered that food was only going to prolong this hell and it was as if something snapped sobs racking my battered and bruised body. I had no fight left, he was a monster and true to his word, he had broken me. I couldn't do this. My breath was coming in short gasps and getting harder and harder to come by. I was going to die here, all alone and that was the best option. If Mosley kept his promise, he wouldn't let that happen. As ashamed as I was to admit it I wasn't far from begging for death.

I suddenly became aware of a distant voice, but it was the hands on my shoulders that caused a visceral reaction. I was writhing around and screaming, trying to keep him off me. I couldn't let him do that to me again.

"Hey, hey, it's me, it's Finn, you're safe." I froze, sucking in a gasp. The moment I saw it was really him, I threw myself into his arms. "I've got you, I'm here. I won't leave you again. I swear." He held me until I pulled back.

"Where is he?" I asked suddenly.

"He won't hurt you, they're taking care of him, of both of them." Finn answered reassuringly. I caught a glimpse of his gun on the floor between us and picked it up before standing shakily. "What are you doing? It's fine." I didn't give him an answer, I just walked out the door, pulling the strength from eating for the first time in days and the fact that if he was going to hold true to his promise, then so would I. "Wait!" Finn called out, presumably chasing after me, but I didn't slow down.

I heard the sound of yelling and followed it into an open room, just down the hall from where I was being held. John was holding Mosley by the collar, his face pouring blood. I didn't say a word or pay attention to the eyes on me. When I reached them I shoved John to the side with one hand, cocking the gun with the other and before anyone could stop me I point it between his eyes and fired. I didn't stop firing until John pulled the gun from my hand.

I felt someone slip a jacket over my shoulders, but I didn't look away from the monster that I had killed. Part of me knew I was supposed to feel bad for killing someone, something I had never done, but I was completely numb. I kept my promise and killed him, but he was right, I felt completely broken.

A/N: I have an idea for a part 2, but feel free to send in other requests or feedback.

[kikixreverie]

Hi- may I ask for an angst-mix with Bucky x reader: she had her share of abusive/toxic relationships in her past, but it was nothing she spoke of, and not now when she had James. It wasnt like she thought she was gonna be triggered again, not by him, any other guy- buy not her Bucky! Some tiny bickering evolved to a large dispute, and before she knew what was happening, she shied away from him, making herself small, awaiting the blow - that never came... And instead she was overcome by shame...

Pasts and Apologies

Bucky x Fem!reader

Word count - 3k

Warnings - Mentions of domestic abuse from ex, some descriptions of abuse, angst, trauma

A/n - Okay I definitely went hard on the angst for this one. I kinda just went off on one so not so much bickering and more just a full blown argument but I've been feeling kinda angsty lately so I kinda accidentally made this darker than I expected. Please read the warnings and do not read if you think this could trigger you.

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Love had not been kind to you before Bucky. Every decent memory of your ex was clouded with uncertainty, you would walk on eggshells around him, terrified that saying the wrong thing would set him off and you'd be calling Sam again, sobbing down the phone, cradling another bruise at the hands of your 'partner'.

You were together for years, devoted to and unconditionally in love with the man that you had met in high school. Childhood sweethearts.

He always was quick to anger and he wasn't shy about that. He never had any issues with shouting at you when you pissed him off, just as he never had issues with shouting at his mother or younger brother, but at the time, you had always stood up for yourself and defended the poor woman, making him apologise, and he let you, he always let you clean up his messes.

The first few years were spent in ignorant bliss, you constantly ignored the fear that would creep up your spine when he got angry, but you could manage a screaming match or two, you could manage it all because you loved him, you depended on him despite that he wasn't at all dependable.

The arguments were tough, but you never expected it to go further than that, but eventually, it did.

The first time he was physically aggressive was on his 22nd birthday. He had insisted that he spend his birthday with his friends, calling it a guys night, and you were fine with that, you knew how handsy he got when he was with his friends anyway, so you spent the day with him instead, making sure to keep him happy and spoilt rotten.

As the night crept on, you had tried to wait up for him to return, just as he had asked, but as it passed 3am you decided that he wouldn't mind you going to bed since you had work the next day, so you crawled into bed and fell asleep, a mistake, at the time, you didn't know you had made.

When he returned half an hour later to see you unconscious, he woke you up with his shouting, angry that you hadn't stayed up for him, convinced that you were ruining his night on purpose. The loud awakening was enough alone to trigger your fight or flight but when he threw the duvet off you and grabbed your ankle so tightly you knew a bruise would form, you were terrified. He dragged you off the bed and pushed you towards the door, telling you to fuck off, and you did, tears streaming down your face as you laid awake on the couch till morning.

It only got worse from there, when he realised that he could hurt you and get away with it, it became his favourite past time, he'd look for reasons to shout at you, make you do things that would piss him off just so he'd have a reason to be cruel.

When Sam started noticing dark bruises on your skin, he was livid, and despite how often you'd try to convince him that it's just clumsiness, Sam knew better.

There were rare days that you would have long conversations with Sam, you'd talk about how you'd lost all your friends and distanced yourself from your family but you didn't blame your abuser, you blamed only yourself, and Sam would beg you to leave him but you'd be sobbing in his arms, telling him that you still loved the man who hurt you, that he didn't really mean to hurt you and you'd feel even more guilt if you ever got him in trouble for it.

It was a long and hard journey, but the moment you told Sam that you wanted out, he was there for you, offering you to stay at his place and helping you call the cops. He gave you all the resources he could possibly find through the VA and set you up with an amazing therapist and eventually you were living in your own place, talking to old friends again, and filing a restraining order against your ex.

It was nearly two years later when you met him. Introduced through Sam, you met the love of your life on a Sunday. He was quiet and focused, with hard eyes scanning the room, looking for escape routes, analysing people's faces.

You smiled gently at him when you met, opting for a small nod in greeting instead of a handshake. You stayed near him for the remainder of the gathering, not pressuring him to speak to you, just sitting in silence. You were drawn to him, his behaviour was so similar to yours.

You knew what it felt like to want to just blend into the corner, to stay unnoticed, you understood the need to know how to escape a room, and you saw the way he hesitantly returned your smile and then struggled to chase his smile away once you had sat down beside him.

You and Bucky soon became each other's rocks, always there for the other on the hard days, days that you would spend just walking or reading together in calm silence. There was no doubt that the two of you loved each other, and after months and months of trying to hide longing glances and blushing cheeks, you finally confessed to each other, and the rest was history. You trusted him like you had never trusted anyone before.

As your relationship progressed, Bucky started to notice some strange things in your behaviour, how you'd always ask his permission for you to go out with friends, how you were always quick to apologise in any situation and distanced yourself from him when he was the slightest bit irritated.

He had tried to ask you about it, but you always changed the subject as soon as it was mentioned, ensuring him that it was nothing to worry about.

To tell the truth, you were embarrassed, you were ashamed that your ex still had this effect on you, and no matter how many times you told yourself that he would never, that your Bucky would never, your brain refused to allow you to believe it and you continued with the odd behaviour that you used as a defence mechanism when in the abusive relationship.

You never spoke out of line, you never asked him where or who he was going out with, and you never let small bickering escalate.

It was only after you had overheard Sam and Bucky in a heated conversation, Sam scolding Buck for being reckless and stupid during a mission, that you had your first argument with him.

You had called Sam while Bucky was at the store, convincing him to tell you what had happened and after a few minutes of guilt-tripping, Sam finally confessed that Bucky had practically ran into open fire, endangering himself in an attempt to shut down a Hydra base, it could've very easily been fatal, and it wasn't the first time something like this had happened.

You knew it was wrong, you knew you should've just asked Bucky about it, but you couldn't help yourself, and you knew that Bucky would've downplayed the whole situation.

When he returned home you were pacing up and down in the living room, chewing the inside of your cheeks and your nails to pieces because you could've lost him, Bucky could've died and he was acting as if it were nothing.

"Doll?" You could hear the worry in his voice as he placed the shopping bags on the kitchen counter and walked over to you, standing in front of you to stop your movement, pulling your hand from your mouth and kissing your knuckles.

It was supposed to calm you, and it almost did, but as his soft lips grazed your hand, and his eyes met yours, your mind kept wandering to the fact that he could've died.

This moment could've never happened, instead, you'd have Sam or Steve at your door, trying to deliver the news of their best friend's death, your lover.

"Honey speak to me" He looked utterly confused, but the look only made you feel angry.

How could he be so reckless?

"I just got off the phone with Sam."

He froze, eyebrows furrowing and taking a step away from you, waiting for you to explain.

Your gaze didn't move from the floor, trying to even out the anger and worry rushing through you, settling like a heavy rock in your stomach.

"He told me about the missions, about how you've been acting."

"What do you mean, how I've been acting?" He scoffed, sounding offended, and you sighed.

"How reckless you've been acting. Sam said that Tony's considering pulling you out of missions! How many times have you endangered yourself like this? How many times is it gonna take for you to realise that you could fucking die out there, James."

Your voice was stern, and the tone felt foreign against your tongue. Bucky's kept his face hard, refusing to show any emotion, but you could see the way his jaw clenched harshly, eyes glued to the corner of the room, ignoring your fiery glare.

"Were you ever going to tell me? I thought that all the injuries you got were fairly normal for the jobs you do, but when I hear that you run into open fire, that you make decisions on your own before talking to your team, that you've gotten fucking stabbed in the past, and you never told me, how do you expect me to react?"

He sighed heavily through his nose, jaw ticking in annoyance towards his friend, angry that he had told you even though it wasn't his place.

"I told him not to tell you." His voice was gruff, the words spoken harshly under his breath and you felt your anger flair again.

"What and you think that's okay?!"

His gaze shot to yours, looking at you incredulously.

"Bucky we're partners! You're supposed to tell me this shit, you're supposed to tell me when you've nearly died on a mission, you're supposed to trust me."

"You think I don't trust you?!" His voice was slightly raised and you felt your annoyance spike, "I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry."

"Of course I'm gonna worry, James. This is a big deal, I can't believe you've been getting seriously injured and not telling me."

"Well, I don't think it's that big of a deal, Sam shouldn't have fucking told you. This wouldn't be happening if he had just kept his mouth shut, but no! Of course not!" Bucky's eyebrows were drawn in tight with annoyance, wishing you'd just drop the subject, "I'm not stupid, I know what I'm doing."

"What the hell do you mean 'You know what you're doing?' You know that you're not supposed to endanger yourself to complete a mission, yet you do it anyway. I'm glad Sam told me because otherwise, I doubt I'd ever find out!."

"I don't see how what I do on missions is anything to do with you. Sam is exaggerating. I'm fine!"

As Bucky's voice raised, you started to lose focus, flashbacks of your past echoing in your mind and in his annoyance, Bucky didn't notice the way your eyes had gone distant, losing sight of the man in front of you, the man you loved, and forming the image of the man you still see in nightmares, the man you're so terrified of seeing in the street that you haven't stepped foot in Queens since leaving him.

You could almost feel the sting of his palm against your cheek, the burn of his hand, tight around your wrist, and you tried to remind yourself that it wasn't real. It had been months since you'd had an episode, and your steps to control them were hard to find with the false image of your abuser so clear in front of you.

"Are you even listening to me?" The statement dragged you back to reality and you felt yourself calm when your eyes focused in on Bucky, reminding yourself that your ex wasn't here, that Bucky wasn't like that, he would never, but as he raised his arm to push his hair out of his face, everything flew out the window and in the moment, you were 21 again and you were sure he was going to hit you, your exes face flashing behind your eyes again.

You flinched, a gasp falling from your lips as your eyes squeezed shut and your head ducked down, breathing heavily through your nose as you awaited the hit.

Time slowed.

Bucky froze completely, his eyes wide and frantic as he quickly stumbled away from you, shaking his head as self-hatred ran through his veins, disgusted at himself for making you think even in the slightest, that he would ever hurt you.

"Doll?" He sounded absolutely broken.

Your head shot up, panic flooding through you when you realised what you had done and pain replacing the feeling when you saw the agony on Bucky's face.

"Y/n, I- I would never-" He kept his voice at a pained whisper, not wanting to scare you further as he stayed at a distance.

You collapsed to the floor, sitting on your knees as the weight of the situation pulled you down. Your hands raised to cover your mouth as a sob threatened to tear through you, so fucking ashamed of what had just happened, so fucking ashamed that your ex had done this to you, and you had let him for so long, ashamed that he still haunted you.

"Babydoll I-" He struggled to find the words, terrified that he had just lost you, wanting to reach out and hold you but scared shitless of hurting you more than he already had, "I don't know what- I'm so fucking sorry y/n, I can't- I can't even fathom the thought of-"

His voice trailed off, unable to even say the words and you felt your guilt tenfold.

"N-No Bucky, I'm sorry I thought-" You struggled to speak through your crying, hot tears flowing down your cheeks as you rocked yourself gently in an attempt to self-soothe.

"Why are you apologising honey? This is on me, this is-"

"No, it isn't, I promise Buck this isn't you, it's.." You couldn't get the words out, you couldn't tell him, "Just come here, please."

You wanted him to wrap his arms around you, you needed him to know that it wasn't him, you know the way his mind works and you knew that by now he would already be drowning in guilt and self-hatred.

"I don't think that I should. I don't want to hurt you, I can't- I can't hurt you" You smiled at him gently through your tears and your chin wobbled as you saw the tears running down his cheeks too.

"It's okay. I'm okay Bucky, I just- I-I need you over here, I need you - I need you to touch me. I need you."

He was over in an instant, falling to the floor beside you and letting out a huge sigh of relief when you instantly wrapped yourself around him, tucking your head into the crook of his neck and crawling into his lap, needing to be as close to him as possible, to rid the memories of the pain, to remind yourself that his touch is good, his touch is safe.

Arms enveloped you and he held you as tight as possible, the both of you crying.

After the two of you had calmed down and a comfortable silence enveloped you, Bucky knew he would have to break it.

"Why did you think that I would hit you?" He asked, his voice tentative and gentle and you sighed, knowing that it was time for you to tell him.

"I didn't, I don't, I promise."

You lifted your head from his shoulder but still stayed on his lap, instead, resting your forehead against his.

"Then why-?"

"I thought I was better, I-I thought it was all over but I just- I lost myself again. Everything got all foggy and I lost where I was and I just, I thought I was there but-" The floodgates opened again and you knew that Bucky had no clue what you were talking about but the words just kept coming.

Bucky's eyebrows were furrowed tightly and when your vague, confusing explanation only made his worry grow, he felt himself pulling you even tighter against him.

"Doll, Did someone hurt you? Is that why you're always walking on eggshells around me? Is that what the nightmares are about?" He struggled against the words, not wanting to say them because he didn't want to believe them and he watched in agony as you swallowed hard and nodded slowly, your hands coming to rest on the back of his neck as you continued to hold your forehead against his.

He refused to let his anger show, he wouldn't do that to you, especially with you so fragile, but he couldn't hide the pained shaky breath he let out at your confession, "Fuck, I'm so sorry. God, I'm so sorry that that happened to you. Was it your ex? Did he hurt you?"

You nodded again, doing your breathing exercises, and calming yourself so that you could explain your situation fully to your partner.

"I should've told you, I know, I just, I'm so angry that I'm still like this, I just wish it would all go away and I could forget about what he did. I thought I was better. I can't stand that I'm still so haunted by that asshole" Bucky nodded along as you spoke, brushing his fingers up and down your back to help calm you.

"It's okay, Doll. Things like that don't just go away. Believe me, I wish they did too, but things will get better, I promise you that. Thank you for telling me."

You scoffed in self-deprecation, "I should've told you ages ago."

"That doesn't matter, you've told me now, and I'm sure it wasn't easy, so thank you for sharing" His voice was so gentle, his hands caressing your back almost making you feel sleepy.

"And Buck?" He hummed in response, letting you know that he was listening, "About the mission thing, I'm just worried about you. I can't lose you, I need you, and I need you alive."

A gentle smile lifted his frown and he nodded in understanding, feeling bad for getting mad in the first place, and you leaned back, looking down at him, your hands playing with his hair.

"I know. I'm sorry for being an idiot, It's just so hard to look at them and remember what they did to me and know what they've done to so many innocent people and I just lose it, all rationality out the window" You nodded at him, understanding how painful some of the missions must be.

"I'm sorry I got so upset with you, and I'm sorry I went to Sam instead of talking to you. Don't be mad at him, I kinda forced him to tell me" You gave him a sheepish look and he breathed out a small laugh, his nose crinkling like you always loved.

"It's okay doll, I'm sorry for being so careless and hiding the stuff about the missions, I promise I'll be more careful, I gotta make sure I always come home to my sweet girl. And don't worry about Sam, you deserved to know and I know what you're like."

You tutted at him and he smiled in response, the adorable, loving look on his face making you pull him into the sweetest, softest kiss which he instantly returned.

After sitting together in each others embrace for a while, the yawns eventually started. You were both positively exhausted from all the emotions you had both just experienced so Bucky wrapped your legs around his waist and lifted you both from the floor, discarding the groceries still left in bags in the kitchen and carrying you to bed, holding you as close as physically possible as you both drifted off to sleep.

[dearemilia]

Ackerman Strength | Chapter ii | Older brother Levi

Warnings | Profanity, slight manga spoilers for aot [?]

You sighed as you stretches your arms, going outside of your room and downstairs. You were shocked to see her uncle or relative?

Oh whatever, your clan is sort of confusing to you anyways.

"Afternoon" You greeted Levi who got a tea bag and cup as he presses on the hot button of the dispenser "[Name]" Levi spoke.

You hum and asks what he needs "Your teacher told me that you skipped class again" Levi added. Before he went home, he got a call from your homeroom teacher. Telling him how disrespectful it was for you to skip class.

"Was it those brats again?" Levi drank his tea with a bored expression.

You almost threw a book at him for trying to annoy you but you remained calm and answered him "Yes, I was with Mikey and Draken"

Levi hums uninterested as he reads the newspaper.

"We had to go and meet a new friend, I think his name was Takemitchy? I forgot" You replied as Levi side-eyes you "Well, don't do it again, or else I'm beating up those brats again" You glared at him and Levi turned away from your gaze, going back to reading his newspaper.

'Old ass shorty...' You thought to yourself, insulting Levi in your mind.

You both heard a knock on the door and once you opened the door, a paper was thrown at you "Shit! I'm sorry [Name]! I was just so mad that I didn't know you already opened the door" Baji nervously chuckled as he apologizes to you.

"Ah...It's fine, come in" You closed the door and locked it.

Baji then looked around "Levi's not home?" He questioned, feeling uneasy and afraid "The hell do you want, brat?" Baji froze as he let out a high pitch scream.

Levi clicked his tongue "Don't shout at my house" Levi crossed his arms.

You took Baji's hand and told him to go to your room while you deal with Levi. Levi sighed, tired of your friends' childish acts.

"You two better study" You narrowed your eyes at Levi.

"We are going to study, Keisuke's mom called me yesterday and asked me to tutor him" Levi nodded, remembering when Baji's mom cried about how her son got held back.

Baji let out a huff as he sulked "[Name], can you explain this again?" You then begin to explain Algebra.

After a few minutes, he spoke up "So basically, 7 = 2 - x is x = - 5?" He turns to look at you as you nod your head "Yes, Keisuke" You give him a small smile "See! I am smart!" He grinned.

"Of course you are, just not academically" You mentioned as you look through all of Baji’s answers "Hah...I'm bored. Hey, did you know that there was a cat I saved from being hit by a car?"

"Really now, where is the cat now?" You questioned "Somewhere, sadly I couldn't bring it home since I had to go to your house. But I got the cat food!"

You hum until you snap your head at Baji again "You saved the cat from a car, right?" Baji looked at you, confused "Yeah?" An irk mark appeared on your forehead "You imbecile! You could've gotten hurt you know!"

"But I'm not hurt, right?! Right?! And plus what does imbecile even mean?!"

You slap yourself as you feel your brain cells falling "Oh god, it's ---" Before you could even tell him, you both heard noises coming from outside the house.

"OH MY GOD! THERE'S A CAT ON YOUR ROOFTOP! [NAME] LET'S GO SEE THE CAT! MATH CAN WAIT!!"

You didn't even get to say anything before Baji dragged you up to your rooftop.

You watched as Baji tried grabbing the cat but the cat didn't seem to like Baji.

'Weird' You knew how much Baji love cats. You remembered when you and Baji used to rescue stray cats from trees and other places.

Baji used to think that Cats came from storks.

To which you had to remind him that they came from actual cats and not birds. If it were birds, the storks would be eaten right away.

Well, that's what Levi told you.

"[Name], come help right now!! This cat won't come to me!" Baji whined as you deadpan, too tired for this kind of thing.

When you opened your arms for the cat, the cat immediately came to your arms.

You were shocked, but mostly Baji was shocked. Why did the cat go to you but not him? Baji sulked as he crossed his arms and watched the firework.

"Don't sulk like that, you'll look like Levi" You told him as Baji frowned.

Baji doesn't respect people much, but he has to admit that you and Levi are one of the few people he can openly respect.

Levi's like an uncle to him.

As you and Baji watched the fireworks, he couldn't help but slowly hold your hand, feeling the warmth, he smiled.

When someone had to interrupt.

"Oi, oi, oi" You both looked behind to see Levi, crossing his arms with a glare, looking short as usual "Come in, I made dinner" You nodded, heading towards the living room.

Baji frowned that he couldn't have a slight moment with you.

You placed the rice on the bowl "Oi, brat, don't fail your next test, [Name] helped you even when she's already busy" Baji felt shivers run down his spine as he frantically nodded.

Out of the blue, you feel an electric shock running through your skin. You gasps, suddenly you see Takemichi running, blood, and Draken with screams being heard.

The bowl that was in your hand, drops on the floor as it breaks into pieces, causing Levi and Baji to run to you.

"[Name], you alright?" Levi asked you as he squeezed your shoulder, easing you up.

You snap as you shook your head "I'm sorry, I thought I saw something" You stared at your hand.

"[Name], you okay?" Baji asked as he checks your forehead "Yeah, don't worry, I'm not sick Kei" [Name] thanked him for worrying you "[Name], I may be stupid but you're clearly not okay, just sit down while I help Levi" Baji made you sit down on one of the sofas.

You deserve a break anyway after helping him with his upcoming test.

'That...felt weird...why did I see Takemichi and...Draken..' You thought to yourself. Although, you decided to ignore that, thinking it was a distraction.

November 8th, 2021 Thank you for reading, stay safe and healthy I love you all so much! <3

Tag list | @sup-zfam @imkumichan @dai-tsukki-desu​

© butterflyemi, 2021 | Do not translate and repost my work in any other platform and in Tumblr without permission.

[elianamarie-blog]

The Things You Give Pt 14

Steven Hyde x Read

Happy Holidays and New Years everyone! I can’t believe we’re already 14 parts in. I’m so glad you guys are loving the story! Tag list is open if you want to be a part of it :)

Beep, beep, beep.

           The sound of the heart monitor was the only noise resourcing from the room. Hyde sat beside y/n, watching as her chest gently rose and fell, and listened to Red interrogate Eric from the hallway.

           “What do you mean you don’t know what happened?!” Red asked him in his usual gruff tone.

           “I don’t, Dad!” Eric defended. “All I saw is that she was sick and she was trying to get Fez and Hyde to stop fighting and she just dropped!”

           “And you didn’t catch her?” Red fumed. “She could’ve gotten hurt!”

           “Well, I didn’t expect her to fall!” he responded.

           “Red, honey, your yelling isn’t making anything easier,” Kitty said quietly.

           “For me it is!”

           “Red,” she said more sternly.

           “Well, have they figured out what’s wrong with her?” the worried father asked impatiently.

           “No, they haven’t,” Kitty answered calmly.

           “What’s taking them so long?” he grumbled. “We’ve been here for hours!”

           Kitty blinked at her husband. “We’ve been here for twenty-five minutes.”

           “And our daughter has been unconscious for forty! My little girl is in there now and I want answers, dammit!”

           “Red, she’s fine,” Kitty said, trying to soothe him. “She’s tucked in a bed right now with monitoring and her breathing is normal. They drew her blood and we’re just waiting on the test results.”

           “They need to come faster!” he shouted, causing Kitty to frantically look around and smile nervously as her coworkers stared at them.

           “Hey, Mom, if Dad has another heart attack, at least it’ll save us another ambulance bill since we’re already at a hospital,” Eric said grinning, sarcasm bleeding into his tone.

           “Can it, dumbass!” Red snarled.

           Inside the room, y/n groaned, hearing the arguing from outside and slowly opened her eyes, seeing nothing but white. Her head felt someone was taking a jack hammer to her skull. Steven noticed and waited anxiously by her side.

           “Why do they have to be so loud?” she mumbled.

           Steven sighed in relief and grabbed her hand. “Are you okay? How’re you feeling?”

           “I think so,” she croaked. “I feel like crap and I’m tired.”

           Hyde chuckled softly and leaned over, kissing her head softly. “You scared the crap out of me.”

           “What happened? Am I in the hospital?” she asked, not letting go of his hand.

           Hyde paused, searching her face. “You don’t—? You fainted and hit the ground pretty hard. They think you may have gotten a concussion.”

           “Well, that explains my headache,” she grumbled and rubbed her head. She looked at Steven who was still looking at her with worried eyes. “Where is everyone?”

           “Your parents are out in the hall with your brother, Fez is here but went to find ice cream.” He rolled his eyes at the thought but continued. “And everyone else is on their way.”

           “How long have I been out?”

           “About forty-five minutes. I’m glad you’re okay,” he answered and pulled her hand up to his lips, placing a gentle kiss.

           If it wasn’t for her head screaming at her, her heart would be fluttering away like butterflies, but all she wanted to do was numb the pain. A sharp pain surged through her skull, causing her to hiss.

           “What’s wrong? Are you alright?” he asked her.

           She tried to nod, but that caused more pain to her skull. “My head hurts. A lot.”

           “That’s what happens when you smack your head on concrete,” he answered. “You have a pretty good-sized knot on your head.”

            Y/n reached up and felt her scalp until she felt a painful bump behind the side of her head. She winced at her own touched. “Ow.”

           “Maybe you shouldn’t do that,” Hyde chuckled. “I’m going to go get something to drink. Do you want anything?”

           Her stomach churned at the thought of liquids and scrunched up her nose. “No, but I probably should. I’ll take a ginger ale if they have any.”

           “You got it, doll,” he said and walked out just as the doctor was stepping in.

           “Good afternoon, Miss Forman,” the middle-aged, dark haired man said. “I’m Dr. Kipp. I’ve been looking over you while you were out. How are you feeling?”

           “Not gonna lie, Doc, I feel pretty lousy,” Y/n responded. “I’ve been sick for the last couple of days. Not being able to keep anything down, I’m achy all over…I’m starting to wonder if I have the stomach flu or something. On top of that, my head is killing me.”

           “Well, you passed out due to your blood pressure dropping which caused a lack of blood to the brain, but it’s definitely not the stomach flu,” Dr. Kipp answered casually, setting down his clipboard as he went over to the sink to wash his hands.

           “How do you know that?” Y/n questioned him.

           “Well, it can’t be because you’re pregnant.”

                                                  --Time Skip—

           “How’s y/n doing?” Donna asked as she got to the waiting room, flowers in hand.

           “Oh, that’s so sweet that you got her flowers!” Kitty gushed, making Donna smile. “And she’s awake. The doctor is in there right now with her.”

           “Oh, good,” she said and sat down next to Fez who was quietly eating ice cream. “Where did you get the ice cream?”

           “Oh, I told them that y/n was my wife and they let me get ice cream!” he replied stoically.

           “So, you’re telling me that you hit on her and now you’re telling people she’s your wife?” Hyde seethed, holding a cup of coffee in one and a ginger ale can in the other.

           “Can you kids not fight for five damn minutes please?” Red asked impatiently. “It’s bad enough that we’re here, I don’t want to have to hear about your petty drama.”

           “Hey, don’t get mad at me. You’re the reason she’s here in the first place,” said Fez.

           “Why would it be your fault?” Kitty asked Hyde.

           “It’s not!” Hyde replied. “He’s just saying crap so I can knock his teeth in.”

           Kitty and Red squinted their eyes at the teens for a moment. “What on earth is going on here?” Kitty asked, growing frustrated.

           “Nothing,” Hyde answered through gritted, glaring daggers at Fez.

           Fez returned the glare. “You know, Hyde, I often wonder what it would be like to hook up with my best friend’s sister. Don’t you?”

            Hyde’s expression hardened. “It’s a good thing we’re in a hospital because when I break your bones, you’re already here!” Hyde aggressively moved towards Fez, but was stopped short by Eric getting in between them.

           “Okay! That’s enough,” he sang-song. “Hyde, why don’t you sit over there quietly and don’t beat up Fez.” He turned to Fez. “And Fez? Shut the hell up.”

           Hyde jerked himself away. “I’m going to go give this to y/n.”

           Back in the room, y/n felt like the wind had been knocked out of her lungs. “I’m…what?”

           “Pregnant,” he responded in a faux enthusiastic voice. “That was through the blood test. We’re going to have you take urine test as well. So,” he pulled out a plastic cup. “You’re going to pee in this cup and when you’re finished, pull the string and a nurse will come in and collect it. Then, we’ll do a full examination on you to make sure your head is okay.”

           Y/n nodded numbly and mindlessly grabbed the cup in her hand. “Okay…”

           “Probably not the news you were expecting, huh?” he asked.

           Y/n chuckled weakly. “No. Not at all.”

           “Well, I’ll be back soon with your test results.”

           He walked out the door, leaving y/n alone in the room. Her hands felt numb and she felt like there was static all around her. How could she be pregnant? How did she let this happen? And oh God, what was she going to say to Steven? Her eyes widened. Her parents?!

           A sudden heavy weight was shattered onto her chest and her eyes began to water. How was she going to tell everyone? What if her dream came true and she truly was alone? Could she raise a baby on her own? Where would she live? What job would she have to do to support her baby? Was she even going to be a good mom? Will her children grow up to be decent people? What if they’re born with health conditions? Or they fall ill? Can she even count on herself to get out of bed at 2 AM to go to the 24 hour store to buy cough medicine when they get sick? How do you even change a poopy diaper? How is she going to react when they’re teenagers and they’re learning how to drive or get their first boyfriend or girlfriend? What kind of mom was she going to be? What kind father was Steven going to be? Will he even stick around?

           With all these questions swimming through her head, she didn’t notice Steven walk back in. “I got that ginger ale you—hey, you okay?”

           Y/n snapped her head up as she was yanked out of her thoughts, which she silently thanked heaven above for. “Y-yeah, I’m fine.”

           “You sure?” he asked as he set down the drink on the table next to her. “You don’t look fine. In fact, you look kinda pale.”

           “Yeah, um,” she stuttered, swallowing hard and waved her hand casually. “The doctor says I passed out due to lack of blood to the brain. Blood tests came back normal, but he wants me to take a urine test just to be sure.” Not a total lie. Just left out a part.

           “Oh, okay. Do you need help getting to the bathroom?”

           “I think I got it,” she answered truthfully and slowly got out of bed, barley able to feel her legs. She ambled her way to the bathroom, dragging the IV along with her. She felt Steven’s stare burning a hole in the back of her head, but she couldn’t think of what he was thinking right now. She couldn’t. It would drive her to an anxiety attack.

           She closed the door quietly and baby stepped her way to the toilet. She passed by the mirror and did a double take to her reflection. Her ponytail was a complete rats nest, her eyes had dark circles under them, and her normally rosy cheeks had lost all color. She looked half dead and she wanted to cringe away. She turned her head to the side and saw the swelled up bump on her skull. She winced when she saw it and let out a sigh. She really wanted to curl up into a ball and sleep for 72 hours.

           She made her way to the toilet and shakily did her business in the cup. When she was finished, she left in on the counter in the bathroom and pulled the string. After she was finished washing up, she walked out to meet Steven sitting in the chair.

           “Hey,” he said gently whispered.

           “Hey,” she answered in the same manner. “Where is everyone?”

           “In the waiting room. Do you want to see them?”

           Her heart dropped, but she needed to play it cool. “Yeah, that would be nice.”

           He nodded and opened the door to call them in. She got back in bed with Hyde’s help, making sure her IV wouldn’t get pulled out of her arm.

           “Oh, y/n,” Kitty sobbed and rushed over to y/n who was sitting up fully and wrapped her arms around her. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

           Y/n barley reciprocated the hug. “I’m okay, Mom.”

           “When we saw you being loaded up into the ambulance, I thought I was going to die right there,” Kitty responded, stepping away from her daughter.

           “I’m fine, Mom. Really.”

           “What did the doctor say?” she pried.

           “Uh…they don’t know yet,” Y/n replied. “They’re taking a urine sample.”

           “Well, a person fainting is never a good thing,” Kitty stated matter-of-factly. “It means your blood pressure dropped and you weren’t getting enough blood flow to the brain. Those things just don’t happen.”

           “I know. They’re running tests right now,” Y/n said and leaned back against the pillows.

           “When will we find out?” Red pushed.

           “I don’t know,” Y/n responded growing annoyed. “I don’t know anything.” Lie, lie, LIE.

           “Well, we better find out soon,” Red said. “This place gives me the creeps.”

           “If you wanna leave, you can. I’m a big girl, I can leave on my own,” Y/n responded.

           “No, no, I wanna be here in this room when the doctor comes and tells us what’s wrong,” Kitty said stubbornly.

          Y/n’s heart and stomach dropped. There was no way anyone was going to be in this room when the doctor came back with the results. Positive or not, she didn’t need her parents asking questions and then finding out about her and Steven.

           She kept her face and voice as calm as possible. “No, no it’s okay. Really. I don’t know if I want everyone in here anyway. In fact, it’s probably best that I’m alone.”

           “Oh, nonsense. I—”

           “Kitty, if she wants to be alone, then we’ll leave her alone. She’s an adult now. She doesn’t need us in here,” Red said, signaling to his wife that they leave. “Besides, the Packers’s game is on and I wanna go home.”

           Kitty sighed, annoyed. “Fine. Fine, I’ll leave, but I want to hear everything, missy.”

           Y/n’s eyes widened a fraction and her heart beat violently against her blood cage. She could practically feel her blood pumping through her veins. She nodded numbly. “Okay.”

           Kitty nodded and kissed y/n on the head before leaving. She felt some tension leave her body as she watched her parents leave. She leaned her head back against the pillow and closed her eyes, feeling completely drained.

           “Are you okay?” Donna asked.

           “Yeah,” she mumbled. “Just…feeling depleted.”

           “Well, you can’t go to sleep yet,” Hyde said. “You might have a concussion.”

           “I want sleep,” she whined.

           “I know, but I’d rather you be exhausted than not wake up at all,” he responded.

           She glared at him through half open eye lids and grumbled, “I hate you.”

           He chuckled lightly. “I know.”

           The door to the room opened revealing Kelso, Fez and Jackie.

           “Hey, y/n, how are you feeling?” Kelso asked.

           “Bout as great as I look,” she replied, a weak smile playing her lips.

           “So, super sexy,” Fez responded cheekily but that smile quickly faded when Hyde punched his shoulder. “Ow.”

           “Remember: Respect,” was all Hyde said before sitting back down.

           “I heard what happened,” Kelso responded. “And Brooke made me bring you these.” He handed her a small bouquet of yellow daisies and lilies.

           Y/n chuckled, accepting the flowers. “Tell Brooke I said thank you for the nice gesture. And tell her to bring the baby around soon. I want to meet my niece.”

           Kelso’s face brightened. “You…you really think of her that way?”

           Y/n nodded. “Why wouldn’t I? We’ve all been best friends since we were little and it only makes sense that we look at each other more than just friends now.”

           “Like lovers?” Fez asked her seductively.

           “Do you have a death wish?” Hyde spat.

           “Okay, Steven that’s enough,” Y/n said as sternly as she could. “And Fez, shut up.”

           Fez pouted and went and sat in the corner of the room.

           “You know what? My mind is made up,” Kelso said. Y/n stared at him curiously, everyone joining in.

           “Kelso, in order for your mind to be made up, you have to have a brain,” Eric commented.

           Kelso shot Eric a glare before turning his head back towards y/n and Hyde. “I’ve been spending a lot of time with Betsy lately and Brooke is really starting to trust me.”

           “Okay, and that makes up your mind for?” Y/n asked him.

           “Hang on, just let me finish,” he said smiling. “Brooke is starting to trust me so much she’s even allowing me to pick the godparents.”

           “Oh, that’s great!” Y/n gleefully responded. “I’m so happy for you.”

           “And there’s only one rule. It can’t be Fez,” Kelso added on.

           Fez nodded. “That is a good rule.”

           “Godparents?” Donna mumbled to Eric. “Like we need any more responsibilities.”

           “I know,” Eric whispered back, rolling his eyes. “Such a burden.”

           “I’ve been thinking about it a lot and it’s a big deal. So,” Kelso said, stepping closer to the bed where Eric and Donna sat. “Eric, Donna.”

           “Uh, oh,” Eric sang-song.

           “Please scooch over so I can ask Hyde and y/n if they’ll be Betsy’s godparents?”

           Y/n looked at Hyde with excited eyes. “Really?!”

           “What the hell?!” Eric exclaimed.

           “Hyde and y/n?” Donna asked insulted.

           “You picked Hyde and y/n?” Jackie asked, equally insulted. “Why didn’t you ask someone else? Like me?”

           “Because you’re single,” Kelso deadpanned.

           Jackie crossed her arms. “And?”

           “And you need to be in a relationship to be a godparent,” Kelso responded slowly like he was scared to continue speaking. “That’s why they call it godparents. You can’t be single and be a godparent. That’s just stupid.” He laughed and rolled his eyes.

           Jackie stared at him in disbelief, trying to make sense of what he said. “That barley makes any sense, you moron.”

           “Hey, hey, hey, he chose us. Let him speak,” Y/n said not trying to contain her glee. “Not that I’m questioning your choice because, you know, you chose us, but why us?”

           “Because I really trust you and I think you’d be fantastic with Betsy,” he responded sweetly.

           “And you don’t think we won’t?” Eric asked.

           “Yeah, you don’t trust us?” Donna chimed in.

           “Well, to be fair, I’ve seen you drop almost everything you’ve held in your hands,” Kelso responded. “And you’ve never really taken care of a baby.”

           “Yes we have!” Donna defended. “Remember that time last year when Laurie had to babysit that one baby and I ended up changing her diaper when she couldn’t? I was a freakin’ natural!”

           “Yeah, I mean, if you gave me the honor of being godmother, I would be popular, head cheerleader, and voted best legs. This would give me another title,” Jackie argued.

           “Would you guys relax?” Hyde asked everyone. “It’s not that big of deal.”

           “Yeah, it’s not like he’s shunning you guys,” Y/n responded.

           “You’re all still going to be aunts and uncles,” Kelso defended.

           “Yeah, that’s easy for you to say,” Jackie grumbled and joined Fez in the back.

           “We can be good godparents,” Eric argued. “You can trust us.”

           “Eric, remember Goldie, the goldfish?” Y/n asked.

           “Yeah,” he responded.

           “Remember how you killed Goldie by taking him out of the fish bowl?”

           “I needed to hug something,” Eric answered coldly. “Besides, I’m not going to have to flush a baby down the toilet!”

           “Either way, man, thanks. I’m honored,” Hyde said and clapped his hand with Kelso’s and pulled him in for a bro hug.

           “If I have another kid, I’ll make you two godparents. I promise,” Kelso said.

           Eric huffed. “Yeah, yeah.”

           “Alright, I have to take a leak,” Hyde announced.

           “And I’m going to go find some more ice cream,” Fez said.

          “Can you guys make sure y/n doesn’t fall asleep?” Hyde continued.

           “You got it pal!” Kelso responded and watched as Hyde and Fez walked out.

           “I’m not a child,” Y/n responded once they were out of ear shot. “I am perfectly capable of looking after myself, thank you.”

           “Kelso!” Fez called out and barged back into the room. “Kelso, come quick! There’s a hot nurse fight happening downstairs! Hurry before it ends!”

           “See ya,” Kelso said and scrambled out the room, leaving Jackie, Eric, and Donna alone.

           “Yeah, I’m leaving too,” Jackie said pouting. “I don’t want to sit here and be reminded that I wasn’t picked for godparent. I may have to do some shopping therapy to get over it. Bye!” She squealed and walked out, leaving just the twins and Donna.

           “Do you need anything sis?” Eric asked. “Some water? Fluff up your pillows? Relinquish your title of godparent over to me?”

           Y/n gave her twin a look before scoffing. “No, thanks. I’m fine.”

           “Fine. I’ll just go see if they have any teddy bears in the gift shop that reads ‘Not Quite the Best Godparents’ and maybe it’ll be tear absorbent!” With that, he stormed out the room, leaving Elena in stunned silence.

           Donna rolled her eyes. “I better go after him. Last time I left him alone while he was upset, he thought I didn’t care about him anymore and didn’t speak to me for three days.”

           She left, leaving y/n alone in the room. Again. She leaned back once more, enjoying the silence, but now that she was alone again, she realized just how loud the silence was. All she could think was pregnant, pregnant, pregnant.    

           “What am I going to do?” she mumbled to herself.

           The door to the room opened again; Dr. Kipp entering once more.

           “Hi Miss. Forman,” Dr. Kipp greeted. “We got your test results back.”

           She gulped. “And?”

           He sat down on the stool next to her bed and looked her in the eyes. “It’s positive.”

           Her heart dropped completely, and it felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. “I’m pregnant?”

           “I know this is a lot to take in, but we need to gather some more information from you so we can determine how far along you are. But first the basics. What’s your full name?”

           “Y/f/n y/m/n Forman.”

           He scratched her answer down on his clipboard. “Birthday?”

           “May 18, 1959.”

           “So, that makes you eighteen years old, correct?”

           Y/n nodded.

           “Okay, and your current address?”

           “416 Edlebrook Ave.”

           “Beautiful,” the doctor responded and looked up from his clipboard. “Do you know who the father is?”

           Tears started to burn her eyes as she nodded her head. “I do.”

           “What’s his name?”

           “Steven James Hyde.”

           “When was your last menstrual cycle?”

           “Somewhere in mid September.”

           “And today is October 19,” he said more to himself. “So, you are about three weeks along. Now, I’m going to give this information to the nurse and have her give you a pamphlet and a referral to an OB/GYN. I’ll have them give you a call to set up an appointment. Do we have permission to leave a message with someone if you’re not available?”

           “Uh…no, just me is fine, thanks. I’m not ready to tell people yet.”

           He nods. “Understandable. Now, let’s look at your head and see how you’re doing.” As he took out a flashlight and started examining her eyes, Hyde walked back in the room.

           “Hey, Doc. How’s she doing?” he asked.

           “Well, I’m not seeing any signs of concussion, so that’s good.” He turned off the light and started feeling around underneath her jaw to the back of her head where he felt her bump. She winced and he took note of it. “She seems great besides that nasty bump. Just put some ice on it if it starts to hurt and take some aspirin for the pain. Otherwise, you’re good to go.”

           “What about her test results?”

           Dr. Kipp glanced at y/n and saw her terrified look. He glanced back at Steven who looked worried. “Test results came back normal and she’s perfectly healthy.” He noticed Steven visibly relax. “Anything else, she may discuss with you at her discretion.”

           Y/n mouthed a thank you to the doctor who gave her a subtle nod and finished writing his notes on his clipboard. “I’ll have a nurse discharge you. You have a good rest of your night and rest up.”

           Y/n nodded. “Thank you.”

           With that, he left the room, leaving y/n wanting to vomit—and not from feeling sick this time. She continued to sit in her bed, not being able to properly process the information. Her world felt fuzzy and she felt like she was going to pass out for a second time. She could hear Steven talking to her, but it was all garbled and muffled as if she were underwater. Was her dream right? Was she going to be disowned by her family? Is she going to disappoint her mother? Oh no, how is Red going to take this? She and Steven are dead. Dead like road kill.

           She heard Steven’s muffled voice again, but this time louder. She blinked and looked up at Steven. “I’m sorry, what?”

           He knitted his eyebrows at her. “I said, are you okay? Do you need help getting dressed?”

           She shook her heavy head and slowly slid out of bed. “I should be okay.” She untied her hospital gown, allowing it to pool around her feet. She shivered as the cold air hit her bare skin and turned to see her clothes balled up in a plastic bag. She slowly started dressing herself and felt Hyde’s eyes burn into her the whole time.

           She finally looked up at him as she finished putting on her pajama top. “What’s up?”

           “Are you sure you’re okay? You’re acting different.”

           She nodded, not being able to look him in the eye. “Yeah, I think so. Just still not feeling well and feeling a little disoriented from the fall. But I think I’m good.”

           He eyed her for a minute. “Okay,” he responded slowly. “As long as you don’t pass out on me again.”

           She chuckled. “I think I’ll be okay.”

           A knock came at the door and the nurse walked in. “Okay, Miss Forman. Here are your doctor’s notes to help you feel better. Plenty of rest and fluids. And—” She noticed Steven listening to her and she looked back down at the pamphlet in her hands and slid the doctor’s notes over it. “Here’s everything you else need to know. If you have any questions, there’s a number you can call and if you don’t get better or start to feel worse, come on back in.”

           Y/n thanked her and quietly gathered the rest of her stuff and headed out with Steven. He guided her slowly into the camino and started up the car. She rested her elbow on the windowsill of the door and leaned her head into her hand, feeling like sleep will overtake her any minute now. Hyde placed a gentle hand on her thigh and lovingly rubber circles with his thumb.

           “Let’s get you back in bed, yeah?”

           She swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded, not being able to form words in fear she would start crying.

           The drive home was deathly quiet as rain started to fall. The only noise emitting was outside as the rain fell onto the windshield. Not being able to handle the silence, Hyde reached over and turned on the radio, allowing the music to softly fill the car. It eased the tension slightly, allowing y/n to relax.

           He pulled up in front of a supermarket and put the car in park.

           “What are we doing here?” she croaked.

           “Do you want some soup?”

           She gave him a small smile. “That would be nice. Thank you.”

           He nodded and got out of the car, leaving it on so the heater would warm up y/n. Ever since the hospital, she’d been cold and not able to heat up as fast as she normally would. She shivered, realizing she didn’t bring a jacket or her robe. She looked around the car and noticed a blanket behind the driver’s seat. She wrapped her cold fingers around the soft material and realized it was their sex blanket. She crunched up her nose a little, noticing some stains. “Ugh, gross,” she murmured before placing the clean side on her. The stench of sex filled her nostrils, but luckily it didn’t upset her stomach more than it already was.

           She waited in the car for a few more minutes with the blanket pulled up to her chin and listened to the music. Paul Anka came on, singing (You’re) Having My Baby.

           “Would you look at that,” she grumbled and changed the station. Stevie Wonder’s Isn’t She Lovely was on playing. “What the…” she grumbled and changed it to another station. A country song this time was playing. One that y/n didn’t know, but it was better than the others, so she left it on. She listened to the lyrics as they went:

           The girls in New York City, they all march for women's lib And better homes and garden shows, the modern way to live And the pill may change the world tomorrow, but meanwhile, today Here in Topeka, the flies are a buzzin' The dog is a barkin' and the floor needs a scrubbin' One needs a spankin' and one needs a huggin' Lord, one's on the way

Oh gee, I hope it ain't twins, again.

             “Are you kidding me?” She reached over and turned off the radio, choosing to sit in silence.

           Just then the driver’s door opened and Steven clambered inside with a container of chicken soup in one hand and a pack of cigarettes in the other. “Here you go, doll.”

           “Awe, thank you, baby.” She grabbed the container from his hands and allowed the warmth to thaw her icy ones.

           “You turned off the music?” he questioned and started to beat the pack against the heel of his hand.

           “Yeah, there was nothing good on.” Technically not a lie.

           “Ah, makes sense,” he responded and noticed the blanket. He snorted teasingly. “Cold?”

           “No, no, I’m burning up actually. The blanket was so I could feel like I’m in hell.”

           He threw his add head back laughing. “Take it easy, Firecracker. If I hada known you were cold, I would’ve given you my jacket.”

           She smirked at him. “Nah, this is fine. Thanks. Besides, I wouldn’t want you to be cold.”

           “I’ll be fine,” he said and stuck a cigarette between his lips.

           Y/n’s eyes widened and quickly ripped it from him mouth.

           “What the hell, y/n?”

           “Uh, I’m still not feeling well enough. I don’t want hurl all over your car.”

           He scrunched up his nose at her. “Fine. Fair point. But I’m smoking when I get back!”

            Y/n shook her head at him. “What a rebel.”

           “Damn straight,” he responded and turned the car on. “Don’t forget who you’re with.”

           “I couldn’t even if I wanted to.”

           He smiled at her before backing up and driving them home for the night.

                                                 --Time Skip—

           The next couple of days were brutal for y/n. Kitty wouldn’t stop interrogating her and y/n finally told something made up to get her off her back. Kitty didn’t believe her, but she backed off knowing she’ll be back again. She wanted so badly to tell Steven about her pregnancy, but every time she tried, it would come out a different sentence.

         “I’m,” she would start, but right when she would look into his baby blue eyes, she would panic. “hungry. I’m hungry, starving! Can we go get something to eat?”

         He would give her a weird look before agreeing and leaving to buy her food.

           On top of that, morning sickness would rear its ugly head and she would end up being sick at the most random of times. She would be sitting down in the basement with her friends, feeling fine, but then she would feel her lunch coming back up and she would have to haul ass to the nearest restroom.

           Everyone was worried about her, trying to get her to go back to the doctor, but she already knew. She had secretly made the appointment with the OB/GYN and wasn’t going to be able to see her until two weeks out. Until then, she had to keep lying and making excuses.

           “It’s been almost a week,” Eric said one afternoon as they were all huddled into the basement. “You really should go back to the doctor.”

                      “I’d rather not,” Y/n said. “Going to the doctors for every sniff and cough is not my thing.”

                     “But it’s not just a sniffle or a cough,” he pointed out. “It’s like one minute you’re fine and then the next you’re throwing up Mom’s tuna casserole.”

                  “That was a long night,” she countered, remembering that night as she had to lay on the floor next to the toilet for hours because she couldn’t stop throwing up.

             “Well, can you still keep down fluids?” Donna asked. “Like, chicken broth, orange juice, and tea?”

           “Yeah, those are fine,” Y/n responded. “I just can’t seem to digest solid foods. But I was able to drink apple juice the other day with some bread. I’m also not nauseas all day anymore. I think I’m getting better.”

             “Well, if you’re feeling better, wanna go shoot some hoops?” Kelso asked.

             “Nah, but you guys can,” Y/n responded. “Me and Donna can just sit and ogle.”

             “I knew you were checking me out,” Kelso purred and rubbed his chest.

             “Not you, you dork,” Y/n said. “Hyde and Eric.”

                      “You ogle at me?” Eric said disgusted. “That’s gross.”

             “No! Donna is, you dumbass!” Y/n said and stood up while Eric laughed. “Moron.”

             She walked outside to the driveway with everyone behind her. As they reached the driveway, the boys split up into their group while Donna and y/n moved away to watch from the porch.

             “So, Hyde, how’s it been with you and y/n?” Kelso asked under his breath, making sure the girls couldn’t hear.

             “You know, things are going good, but with her being sick this past week, it’s been kinda hard not getting any action,” Hyde responded.

             “Ewwwww! Could you please not?” Eric exclaimed. “I told you I don’t wanna hear it.”

             “I know, that’s why I did it,” Hyde laughed and tossed the ball to Eric. “Your play. Go.”

             The girls watched from the porch, admiring the way their men looked. Y/n wanted so badly to jump Hyde’s bones, but didn’t want to puke in the middle of it and ruin the mood. She and Donna chatted idly as they watched their men get sweaty and hot.

             “Look, I know he’s your brother, but damn does he look hot when he’s all concentrated,” Donna swooned as she watched Eric block Fez’s slam dunk.

             “Really? I think he looks constipated,” Y/n laughed.

             In the middle of the play, Eric turned, facing them while trying to block Kelso from making his shot. The concentration he wore on his face made Donna drool but laugh.

             “You’re right, he does look constipated,” she agreed and laughed even more.

             “I know you don’t think so, but Steven just looks so good when he’s moving around like that,” Y/n said and stared at her boyfriend. “I mean, when he gets all sweaty and flushed, it makes me want him so bad.”

             Donna chuckled. “So, how have you guys been?”

             “We’ve been good. You know with me being this sick, we haven’t really gotten the time to do it or anything.”

             “From the looks of it earlier and hearing Eric scream ‘ew’ makes me believe that Hyde already said something like that to him,” Donna laughed once more.

             Y/n chuckled. “Sounds about right.”

             They fell into a comfortable silence as they watched the four boys play basketball. The entire time, y/n’s heart was hammering against her chest, debating on telling Donna right there. She couldn’t take keeping a secret this big from her best friend. Besides, if she wasn’t going to tell someone soon, she was going to explode.

             “Donna,” she said shakily. “I have something to tell you.”

             Seeing how serious her tone was, Donna perked up. “What?”

             “I need you to promise me that you’re not going to freak out. Because if you do, everyone will hear it and I can’t have that right now.”

             Donna’s heart started beating wildly against her own ribcage, now nervous and worried. “Okay?”

           “And whatever happens, promise me you’ll still be my friend?”

           “Of course! What’s going on?”

             Y/n took a deep breath before looking Donna in the eye. At that moment, she wanted to crawl up in a bawl and just cry. But she knew she couldn’t; She had to be strong. So instead she let out a shaky breath.

             “I’m pregnant.”

@lieswithoutfairytales​ @mdittyz123​ @n-dg-wm​ @undead-sierra​ @random-thoughts-003​ @taysirene​ 

[lloydskywalkers]

let me just start out by saying i love ever single one of your stories!!! i’m pretty new to the show and your works just add so much more feeling to everything and it’s sooo good!!! i don’t know if you ever do requests or not, so don’t bother with this if you’re busy!! but if you ever get a chance could you write smthg abt Jay and Kai? their friendship is so underrated but so good and i live for the moments in the show when Kai’s big brother instinct(tm) kicks in for him as well as Nya and Lloyd

aH thank you so much!! i’m so glad to hear that :D and this isn’t...exactly what you asked for, but Kai and Jay have this fun of dynamic that reminds me a lot of me and my brother, and i’ve been tossing around little bits of interaction between them for a while now, so i tried to make something coherent out of those :’D

Jay likes to think he’s pretty good at the whole compartmentalizing thing, for the most part. Mainly because he actually knows what it means, and it is not, for instance, locking your team up in a literal compartment while rushing off to fight the other compartment that is your resurrected homicidal father into submission.

“That was one time,” Lloyd will grumble, as if he’s only almost-died once. And then Jay will flinch, because that’s where his compartments come into play.

(Nadakhan gets one, Unagami gets another, the whole fun-times adoption reveal another, and everything else can get stuffed into the metaphorical attic since they won’t pay rent.)

Unfortunately, the attic is where the bad stuff lives.

Metaphorically.

If Jay had a nickel for every time he almost lost all of his friends, he’d have two nickels, plus another nickel for Cole falling into the fog, and another for Lloyd getting crushed by a roof, and another for Zane blowing up, and another for Nya in that awful dress with paling skin as her breathing stutters and the light in her eyes draining and —

And Jay is way, way too familiar with how it looks when his family dies, and all the nickels in the world won’t help that.

So while Jay likes to think he’s pretty good at compartmentalizing, he also thinks he’s got a valid excuse for the way he reacts when Lloyd goes down in the fight that afternoon. Sure, some vague part of his mind remembers that they’ve got a plan they’re running, and Lloyd should easily be able to handle a tiny little stumble — but Jay’s mind is stuck in glaring oranges and health bars, the unsteady gasping noise Lloyd had made before he went down, dissolving into digitized cubes just like everyone else, and Jay—

Jay can’t handle that, compartments or not, so he clears the space between them in a heartbeat just in time to take the bullet that comes hurtling Lloyd’s way.

It’d probably be a very noble and touching scene, if one) Jay didn’t make a hideous squeaking noise when it hit because bullets hurt, and two) the bullet would have missed Lloyd by a good two feet anyways.

Ah well, he thinks, as everything devolves into panicked yelling. It’s the thought that counts.

Except thoughts do not count when Kai is involved, apparently. Or any of the rest of the team, for that matter.

“What is wrong with you?” Kai hisses right in his face, eyes wild and sparking. “I was covering Lloyd, what were you doing?”

“Filling in for you, obviously,” Jay retorts. He has an excellent followup to that, real snappy and all, except that’s the moment Kai’s hand clamps down on the bullet wound in his arm to stop the bleeding, and Jay ends up stifling a shriek instead.

Great, he thinks, fighting back stinging tears of pain as he tries not to take Kai’s apparent wrath too personally. At least Cole looks worried, along the the rest of the team, who are dutifully concerned for his wellbeing like proper teammates should be.

“He’s going to need the hospital,” Zane informs them, his voice a lot steadier and calmer than his words make Jay feel. Zane’s eyebrows furrow as he studies his arm. “Stitches, probably.”

Jay swallows, trying not to curse. There’s a sharp scream as Nya finishes taking out another attacker just beyond them, and Jay figures that’s good enough.

“Okay,” Lloyd says, squeezing Jay’s wrist briefly. Either in comfort about the stitches or thanks for trying to cover him, Jay’s not sure. It’s a nice gesture, nonetheless. “Kai, Cole, can you get him there while we finish up? Sooner the better.”

Cole gives a sharp nod, and offers to take Jay from where Kai’s got him in a death grip. Kai shakes his head, and Jay’s stomach sinks. Sure enough, as soon as they’re clear of the scene, Kai starts going off.

“What did you mean, ‘filling in for me’,” he grinds through his teeth, clearly not about to let this go.

Jay bristles in response at his tone. “I meant,” he bites out, through a hot flare of pain in his arm. Kai’s always merciless with the bandages, even when he’s not in a mood. “That you weren’t there. So I covered.”

He should leave it at that, but Jay’s in a foul enough mood to finish with a condescending, “You’re welcome.”

Kai’s expression grows thunderous. “You didn’t need to. I was right there, you shouldn’t have — you weren’t needed, you should’ve held back.”

Jay feels his chest go tight. His head is clouding with anger, and the pain in his arm isn’t helping, but — ‘you weren’t needed’? Kai really didn’t skimp on the jerk juice this morning, did he.

“Oh, like you could’ve done so much better,” Jay glares. “Lloyd would’ve been toast by the time you got to him.”

“I could’ve made it!”

“Yeah right—”

“I would have, and I wouldn’t have gotten hit!” Kai snarls back. Something in Jay snaps. Or maybe it’s just the steadily increasing blood loss, but of all the nerve—

“Well you didn’t, ‘cause you weren’t there!” he snaps back. “You were too slow, which is real funny since your brain is too!”

It’s not his best comeback, he’ll admit, but Kai looks as if he’s about to light him on fire, if he weren’t stuck carrying Jay like the cover of some awful romance novel, blood getting all over his uniform as they both scream at each other. Maybe Jay will get lucky, and Kai will combust, and they’ll both go up in flames before they can remember that Cole is right there watching them.

“Cut it out, now!”

Oops, too late. For all the incensed authority in Cole’s voice, there’s still a traitorous falter that lets them both know they’ve screwed up. They fall silent, the atmosphere heavy with the lingering tension and new sense of guilt.

And the disgusting sound of Jay’s blood leaking through the makeshift bandage and hitting the ground, truly revolting, he hates blood.

“Just…no more. Please, shut up until we’re at the hospital.” Cole marches forward, snatches Jay from Kai’s arms, and proceeds to beat the fastest route to the hospital at a militant pace.

Jay still looks like some helpless romance cover heroine, dangling from Cole’s arms like he is. It occurs to him that he doesn’t even need to be carried — it’s his arm that’s hurt, he can still walk—

But any protests die rapidly at the look on Cole’s face. And at least this way, Jay thinks sullenly, he can fixedly ignore Kai.

Then again, Kai’s got a killer glare, and Jay’s always been garbage at ignoring people when his feelings are hurt.

* * * * * * * *

Despite the fuss everyone makes, Jay’s arm really isn’t that bad. They hook him up with some pretty sweet meds so he remembers zero of the actual arm-fixing, and he wakes up just in time to complain about being held in the hospital for ‘observation’ or whatever.

“It’s to make sure there’s no infection, or that you don’t rip your stitches out,” Nya tells him pointedly. Jay cringes under the look she gives him at that last part. Geez. You get kicked in the stitches one time after sneaking out early and suddenly no one’s got any faith in you. Typical.

“Why couldn’t we have just gone to medbay,” Jay grumbles. “Pixal gives way better stitches than this, anyways.”

“Gun wounds get hospitals,” Nya reminds him. “And it’s not fair to put that kind of pressure on Pix when we can avoid it.”

“It wasn’t that bad.”

Nya glares at him. “It most certainly was that bad.”

“Oh, so when you get your arm crushed by a car, it’s fine,” Jay glares back. “But when I get a tiny little bullet nick, it’s that bad.”

Nya rolls her eyes, ignoring him. “Just think of it this way,” she says. “Now you have a little more time before Lloyd starts weeping apologies all over you.”

“Aw, no,” Jay groans, leaning back in the hospital bed. “Tell me he’s not blaming himself, Nya.”

“I think we had a promise about not lying to each other, or something,” Nya says, sympathetically. She winces. “Pretty sure he made the connection, too.”

Jay frowns. “What connection?”

Nya shifts, her eyes darting from side to side. “The, uh, the whole…Prime Empire, thing.”

Jay stares at her for a beat, trying to reconcile his blatant shock with the roiling nausea at the mention in his stomach. Nya looking at him all kind and sympathetically isn’t helping, either, because she might have made it down to the final two, but she was never all alone, and the reminder that she’d have been fine if Jay hadn’t gotten her killed twice is—

Bad. Real bad, not good, zero out of ten stars. Maybe he can take a bullet for Nya, next, and that’ll — that’ll help things, maybe. Equivalent exchange? Restitution? Some kind of fancy word that means Jay swears he’s gonna make it up.

In the meantime, he smothers the rising sickness in his throat and sinks lower into the bed, sulking. “It’s too easy to recognize trauma in this team.”

“I hear you,” Nya sighs, wearily. She nudges his shoulder, rising from her seat near the bed. “Speaking of. Someone’s got something they want to say to you.”

It takes Jay a second, but his eyes widen as Nya heads for the door. “Wait, wait wait wait, don’t you dare—”

“Love you,” Nya says cheekily, before taking her merry leave of the room. There’s a brief scuffle from outside, and the sound of Kai yelping, before Nya shoves him through the door, slamming it shut behind him with a damning click.

For a second, Jay’s tempted to hit the ‘call nurse’ button as hard as he can, in some desperate attempt to escape. Then he gets a good look at Kai, who’s turned a pale, queasy color that frankly looks awful on him, which is saying a lot ‘cause there isn’t much that doesn’t look good on Kai, but the expression he has on now—

Aw, man, now Jay’s feeling guilty and it isn’t even his fault. Stupid moral conscience center, he curses himself.

“So, uh…” he begins, because far be it from him to let this kind of awkward silence stretch on any longer. “Nice, ah, weather we’re having?”

Kai doesn’t respond, staring fixedly at the floor, and Jay sizes up the ‘call nurse’ button again. Just for the both of their sakes, of course.

But then Kai takes a deep breath, blows it out, and rocks back on his heels, fiddling with his hands. “I, um. I’m sorry.”

Jay’s jaw drops open. Which is probably an overdramatic move, all things considered, but unless he’s suddenly lost the ability to understand words, Kai just apologized to him.

Kai apologized. To him.

It’s not that Kai apologizing is some great big deal — Kai might have his pride, but he’s also an intuitive and good-hearted person who knows when he’s messed up. But to him?

Jay knows how he and Kai work. Kai knows how he and Jay work, and he’s breaking the rules. Because Kai and Jay don’t apologize to each other. Unless it’s some awkward expression of sympathy, they’ve never needed to. They fight dirty, aim for each other’s kneecaps, swear eternal vengeance and hatred at each other before storming off, then an hour later Jay’s bounding into Kai’s room to show him dumb meme videos and neither of them even remember what they were fighting about.

Acknowledging said fight with something as gushy as apologizing is not only useless since they both forget what they’re apologizing for anyways, but also useless because it’ll take too much time, and counterproductive on top, because it’ll most likely end in another fight about who apologized better. So for Kai to walk in and say sorry—

“Oh no, who did you kill?” Jay says, paling.

Kai spears him with a look, but it’s so pathetically watered-down and miserable that Jay forgets to glare back.

“Sorry, sorry,” Jay mutters. “I just—”

“No, no, I’m the one who’s sorry,” Kai interrupts. He hesitates, then sighs. “But that’s fair. I — I was unfair. To you, back there. Like, really unfair, in a bad way, ‘cause you were shot and I know you meant well, but you—”

Kai gestures wildly with his hands, his stream of words cutting off. Jay is left to stare open-mouthed at him again. Babbling like this is Jay’s thing. Kai is breaking all the rules today, huh.

“I just…” Kai trails off, ducking his head. “I don’t like watching you guys get hurt. I don’t — I don’t like watching you get hurt. And I get scared, but it comes out angry, and then I make a mess of things so I’m — sorry. Really sorry, for biting your head off.”

He exhales, a little shaky, fingers balled up in tight fists as his head hangs low, refusing to meet Jay’s eyes. Something softens in Jay’s chest, like gooey melting butter or something else equally pathetic. But it’s rare that Kai vocalizes this stuff, despite the fact that Jay knows he cares, and it’s nice to hear it, so he figures he’s entitled to all the butter he wants.

Jay’s own gaze falters, and the something starts to twist. He bites his lip, tugging half-heartedly at the bandages around his arm.

“Well,” he pauses, thinking of the way his brain had shifted to autopilot when he’d watched Lloyd falter, the razor-sharp shard of terror that always splinters through him when any of their teammates come too close to the awful images of death left in his head. He swallows. “I guess I don’t really have any room to talk,” he murmurs. “Be pretty dumb if I blamed you for that.”

He’s preparing to sink back into his own well of self-pity and loathing, resigned to spending the next few hours until they check him out of the hospital replaying bad memories in his head, when Kai’s next to him all of the sudden, shoving him over on the hospital bed.

“Hey, hey, what’s the big idea—”

“Move, c’mon. You don’t need that much room, you’re a stick,” Kai grumbles, before grinning brightly in success as Jay makes him space. The contrast in expression is enough to startle Jay into silence, and Kai takes advantage. “I know that look. But you already got shot, so you gotta cheer up now.”

“So you’re forcing me into cheerfulness by stealing my hospital bed,” Jay scowls, but the sting is lost in the sudden surge of affection as Kai elbows his way on the bed with him, a steady warmth by his side.

“I’m gifting you my presence, you should be celebrating,” Kai huffs, as he pulls his phone out. “Now stop looking so sad and watch this video I got of a bunch’a geese chasing Zane at the park the other day.”

“You’re such a jerk,” Jay says, but he’s already snickering as he leans his head against Kai’s shoulder to get a better look.

He’s forgotten to tell Kai he forgives him, but like most things between them — Jay doesn’t really need to say it out loud.

[moonlitwings1]

Icing on Top

Christmas cookies were a tradition in the Mayfield house, and Max isn’t going to let two obnoxious Hargrove men ruin it this year. They didn’t do it the year before because someone thought that cookies would be bad for his cholesterol. Old man problems, Max thinks. If Neil doesn’t want his cholesterol to increase or whatever, why doesn’t he just not eat cookies. Seems simple enough to her. 

Thankfully, Neil’s not here right now. He’s with her mom going last minute Christmas shopping. She could’ve gone with them, but she doesn’t have anymore money to buy anything, spent it all on the arcade last week. She’s just going to give Neil and her mom cards, same as last year. Thank you for being the best mom! Max internally cringes. It sounds so fake every time she writes it. It’ll be even worse to write one for Neil. For Billy...well, she doesn’t know what he likes besides music and being an asshole, so he’ll get a card too.

She doesn’t believe in Santa anymore. Stopped believing when Billy ruined that for her literally the day they met. Laughed in her face and told her she was stupid for not realizing her mom’s the one who puts the presents under the tree. She remembers going to her mom and crying because the new boy just told her Santa’s not real. Turns out, when you stop believing in Santa, you also stop getting gifts from him. So for a couple years now, Max has only gotten one gift under the Christmas tree instead of two like she used to. No more presents from Santa, but at least Neil was happy about that. He said that he never thought this Santa business was any good for kids. False idols or whatever. Religious shit she doesn’t care about. Neil acts like he’s oh so religious, but they go to church about five times a year, and the entire time Neil’s only focused on Billy, who is doing everything in his power to annoy Max.

Well, tomorrow’s Christmas and her mom bought a horrible red dress with little white fluff across the edges, the same kind she’s seen too many little girls wear. She’ll have to convince her mom not to let her wear that. Later. Right now, she has a different focus, cook book stuffed underneath her arm as she searches for the ingredients. 

“Flour, sugar, baking soda, butter, eggs,” she mutters under her breath, repeating the ingredients to herself over and over again. Sounds easy enough. She’s never made cookies by herself before, but wherever Neil is, her mom is, and she doesn’t want Neil to get in the way of her Christmas festivities, as he likes to call them. So for now, she’s going to have to figure out how to do this by herself. She’s definitely not allowed to use the oven without an adult, but tonight, she’s planning to prove that she’s not a fucking child. 

She had just gotten started on the wet ingredients when she hears the back door slam shut, making her flinch hard. You’ve got to be fucking kidding. They haven’t even been gone for ten minutes. Neil must’ve forgotten something. She thinks she’s screwed and frantically starts hiding the bowls when she realizes those steps were far too heavy and obnoxious to be Neil’s. Max almost lets out a sigh of relief when Billy struts into the kitchen. He’s an asshole, but at least he’s not Neil. 

She doesn’t know where he went, probably went to hang out with some girl like he always tells Neil, but she swears the cologne he’s wearing smells vaguely similar to the one Steve had on the other day. Maybe they’re friends now? Nah. Must be some new popular teen cologne, she thinks, rolling her eyes. She won’t give it much more attention. 

“The fuck are you doing?” he asks, the scarred eyebrow lifting. He sounds more interested than angry.

“Making cookies. Go away,” she spits before turning her back to him and bringing her focus back to the wet ingredients.

He hums, amused like he always is when he’s annoying her, “Don’t think you’re supposed to be making anything by yourself, Maxi.”

She pauses what she’s doing, closes her eyes, and lets out a long sigh, tries to control her temper. “I’m not a fucking child, Billy. Go away,” she repeats. “I can handle it. And don’t call me that.”

He peers over her shoulder to look at what she’s making. She tries to ignore him, but she can literally feel him breathing down her neck, and he’s standing way too fucking close to her. She knows he’s doing it on purpose. 

“Maaaax,” he whispers. 

She continues ignoring him, mixing the bowl furiously, but after another minute of Billy just standing behind her, he snorts like somethings funny. And that pisses her off because nothing’s funny right now. He’s just an asshole who’s ruining her Christmas. 

So without warning, she spins around, slams two hands into his chest and pushes him as hard as she can (which isn’t saying much, but she’s not going to admit that). Billy didn’t see that coming. She can tell because he actually stumbles a little bit. So she doesn’t stop there, tries to push him out of the kitchen completely before he regains himself. She wasn’t fast enough.

When he realizes what she’s trying to do, he laughs. It’s not even the scary laugh that he made while beating up Steve last year. He’s laughing at her. The fucking asshole’s making fun of her, and it does nothing to soothe her frustration. This time, she aims a slap at his face, but he catches her wrist before she could do anything. She gasps aloud because ow that stung.

“Ouch, you jackass! That fucking hurt!” 

She starts hitting him with her left hand, gets in a few good hits before he snatches that one away too. If he were any closer, she would bite his wrist. She considers kicking him in the dick, but he must see what she’s thinking because he spins her around and bear hugs her from behind, trapping her arms to her side. They’re both panting now, but one from exertion and one from laughter. 

“Jesus Christ, Maxine,” he laughs. “I didn’t fucking do anything to you. The hell blew your fuse?”

“Stop laughing,” she huffs, struggling in his arms and trying to glare at him, because he still has a sleazy grin plastered on his face. She can fucking hear it in his voice. “And get off of me!”

“You cool?”

She’s totally not cool, but she’s not going to tell him that. “Yes I’m fucking cool.”

“You su-”

“YES IM SURE, BILLY.” 

He chuckles one more time before letting her go. “Whatever you say, Maxi-pad.” 

She decidedly ignores his comment and rubs her shoulder from where his arm pressed into hers. “Can you leave now?”

“Not until you tell me what you’re making.”

“I already said cookies.”

“What kind?” Max knows he’s not actually interested in her cookies. He just wants to find a reason to bug her longer. 

“Sugar. What else would I make for Christmas, dumbass.” She’s lucky he doesn’t immediately attack her for calling him ‘dumbass.’ She probably shouldn’t push it anymore. 

“I want you out of the kitchen in an hour,” he snaps, “And you better not burn this house down.” He strides out of the room before she can reply but not before giving her a stony look that warns of death. Asshole. 

Alone at last. Even if Billy’s home, it’s not like he’s going to leave his room anytime soon. He’ll lock himself in there and stay put for hours. She wonders what he does in there for so long and slightly winces when his music starts vibrating through the house. Max lets out a long sigh. She forgot about that. He usually doesn’t put it too loud when Neil’s home. 

She tries to block out the music and focus on the task at hand. Do they have any more eggs? 

---

Twenty minutes later, Max is staring at the oven proudly, hands on her hips. The cookies are currently baking, and she has a good feeling about them. They’re not pretty, and they’re oddly shaped (since they don’t have any cutouts), but she’s sure they’ll come out ok. She’s not, however, looking forward to cleaning up the entire kitchen. Its a mess, bowls everywhere, and the hand mixer is dripping onto the floor, but she can clean it up later, preferably before Billy comes out of hibernation and screams at her about it. But for now, she deserves a fucking break.

She heads off towards her room, and lounges around for ten minutes, looking through some comics, while waiting for the cookies to finish.

Things were going so well. So fucking well until the fire alarms starts blaring and makes Max jump out of her skin. She hears Billy’s music suddenly shut off. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

She’s too scared to move. She doesn’t move when she hears loud footsteps walking towards the kitchen, and she doesn’t move when the fire alarm stops ringing. She definitely doesn’t move when those loud footprints start getting increasingly louder, coming closer to her room. She’s going to die. She’s going to be murdered by her own brother. She shoots a quick prayer to whatever god out there that maybe she’ll survive this one long enough, so she can tell her mom goodbye. 

Her door bursts open. 

“MAXINE.” She recoils from his voice.“ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?”

When she doesn’t say anything, his voice goes deathly quiet. “I leave you alone for barely an hour, and you manage to fuck it all up.” 

Max still doesn’t say anything. She imagines she looks like a deer in headlights because she’s totally frozen, sitting on her bed just staring at him. It must piss him off though because he starts towards her. Thankfully, something turns on in her brain and she immediately goes and stands on the other side of the bed where he can’t easily reach her. 

“Jesus fucking Christ, I’m not going to do shit to you,” he says, running a hand over his face. When she still doesn’t move, utterly unconvinced, he continues. “I just want you to see what a bang up job you did of making those fucking cookies, so get out here.”

She’s still not totally convinced, but if she stays there any longer, he might try to drag her out himself so she’s just got to suck it up. She moves cautiously towards the door, side-eyeing Billy to see if he’s going to pounce, but he doesn’t. 

Thank God nothing besides the cookies were burnt. If anything was actually damaged, she wouldn’t even be alive right now. 

“I-I don’t know what happened, Billy. I literally followed the recipe so don’t try to blame me for this,” she snaps, turning around to glare at him.

He scoffs at her. “What happened,” he growls, grabbing the open cookbook and stabbing a finger into the page, “is that you didn’t read the fucking directions correctly and set the oven at 450 degrees instead of 350 degrees.”

Max looks at where he’s pointing and her spirit drops when she realizes that he’s right. It says right there, Preheat the oven to 350°F. She internally curses herself. How did she not see that? If she had just paid attention, she wouldn’t be in this mess. 

He watches her reaction and snorts. “Someone can’t read,” he says, and reaches out to ruffle her hair. She tries to slap his hand away, but it just makes him ruffle her hair harder. 

“Now clean-” But before he could complete his sentence, Max storms out of the kitchen, taking a wide turn around Billy so there’d be a smaller chance that he’d try to grab her. 

When she looks over at him though, it doesn’t look like he was going to anyway. She doesn’t know why he’s like this, why he always switches emotions every two seconds. Five minutes ago, he had barged into her room, murderous, and she was sure she was going to die. Now? Now he’s fucking joking with her. He literally just ruffled her hair like she’s his sister. She hates it. Why can’t he just be normal? 

She slams the door behind her and locks it as she walks in. Thankfully, Neil still hasn’t taken away her lock like he’d done for Billy, so she still has a semblance of privacy. She’s almost in tears, and she doesn’t know why. She’s just...frustrated. The sound of heavy footsteps come her way, and she immediately dives under her covers, pulling the duvet up and over her head. She’s embarrassed from her stupid mistake that Billy will inevitably make fun of her for. Thinking about it just makes more tears sting the corner of her eye. She wants to be left alone, but Billy’ll never let that happen. 

He pounds on the door. “Maxine, open up.”

She doesn’t answer, digging her head into her pillow harder. Maybe if she ignores him, he’ll leave. In the back of her head, she knows that that’s not what’s going to happen. 

"Hey shitbird, get your ass out here,” he says again, back to asshole mode and pounding harder on the door. “Did ya see the fucking kitchen? You better clean that shit up before Susan and Neil come home.”

She still doesn’t say anything. 

“Max,” his voice goes deadly quiet, “if you don’t get your ass out in the next ten seconds, I’m going to-”

“GO AWAY BILLY! I JUST WANTED TO MAKE COOKIES WITHOUT ANYONE BOTHERING ME FOR ONCE AND YOU JUST HAVE TO GO AND RUIN ANYTHING!” 

“You ruined that shit for your-”

“Leave me alone, Billy.” Her voice cracks when she says his name, and he must hear it because he does. She knows she’s going to have to clean the kitchen up eventually, but she can’t bring herself to right now. Maybe it’s because she’s going to start her period any second, or maybe it’s because Billy’s just a jerk, but she feels abnormally upset. Unreasonably miserable. Billy’s antics don’t usually put her in this bad of a mood, and she feels stupid for letting it. 

Ten minutes later, she hears him stomping around the house and the jingle of keys. The back door slams shut, and she knows he just left the house, probably to cool himself down before he actually murders her. 

She’s alone. 

----

Max wakes up startled from her nap with the sound of someone picking at her lock. She looks around widely for the time. An hour has passed, who’s-

The door burst open, and there stands a triumphant looking Billy. “HAH,” he shouts. “I’ve opened the door!”

She doesn’t know what to say to that. He sounds more stupid than usual. Maybe it’s because she doesn’t see him with a smile on his face very often. 

“What are you doing?” she asks cautiously because she doesn’t want to accidentally piss him off. 

“Come out here,” he says. Oh, not this again. She huffs and plops her face right back into the pillow, turning to her side so she’s facing away from the door. She’s not dealing with this again. If she wants to be locked up in her room, why can’t she?

“Max,” he calls, walking closer to her. “Get up, I’ve got stuff for you.” That peaks Max’s interests, and she raises her head a little, getting annoyed when she sees the smirk on Billy’s face. He knew saying that would get her to pay attention. 

“What?” 

“I’m not telling you until you get up,” he says, tugging at her blanket now. She smacks his hand away, and plops her head right back down. 

“Then I’m not getting up. You’re literally the fucking grinch so it’s not like it’s going to be anything good anyways.”

He laughs at that. “So if I’m the grinch, who are you? Cindy fucking Lou Who?” 

Max covers her smile with the duvet. “Just tell me what you got.”

“Nope,” Billy says and walks his annoying ass straight out of her room. 

She decides to stay in bed, refuses to give in to Billy’s obvious plan to get her to come out of her room. But curiosity catches up to her when she hears him banging around the kitchen, and five minutes later, she’s dragging herself out from under the covers and walking into the room. She stops when she catches Billy red handed, literally, with two of his fingers dipped into a small bowl of red icing. 

When he sees her watching, he grins at her, teeth stained red and gross. “Oh hey there Maxine. Didn’t see ya there. I’m really enjoying this lovely frosting,” He waggles his fingers at her for emphasis. “Better take it away from me before I eat it all.”

He’s about to double dip his nasty fingers into the frosting again before Max can’t help herself and has to cut in. 

She runs up to him and smacks his hand away. “Oh my God. Billy, that’s literally so unsanitary. Give it here.” She takes the can of frosting from him, and mumbles you’re so gross under her breath. The cover of the can features pretty sugar cookies all covered in red frosting and sprinkles. If only she still had her stupid cookies. Now they’re at the bottom of the trash can, all black and burnt. 

“Why’d you buy this anyway? Not like I’m gonna be using them anymore.”

Billy drums his fingers on the counter. “It’s so you can decorate your little cookies,” he says. “You’re lucky I’m craving sugar right now.” She hasn’t properly decorated cookies since California when she was with her dad. It might not seem like a big deal to him, but she’s getting excited over it. He can probably tell by the smile that has just spread across her face. 

“I’m giving you a second chance, so don’t fucking screw this up. You hear me?” he’s glaring at her now, all threats and ager. Of course, he immediately tries to ruin the moment. 

 “So you’ll let me make them again?”

“Wouldn’t be surprised if they come out shit again, though. You can’t cook to save your life.”

She huffs. Totally not true. “We don’t have any more butter though.”

He pats the plastic bag on the counter. “’s all in here.” 

She looks over at the bag he touched. So is that where he went while she was sleeping? 

“You went to the store?”

He grunts in response. “Figured you’d need more shit after your first failed attempt.”

“Ok, thanks,” she says, already making a grab for the hand mixer. “You can leave now.” 

“Ungrateful ass,” he snorts. “Last time I left, you burnt the fucking cookies and set off the fire alarm so I don’t think so.”

Max sighs. “So what? You’re just gonna stand there?”

He smirks at her, leaning against the counter. “Hand me the mixer.” 

---

Apparently Billy’s good at baking because ten minutes later he has all the ingredients combined and the dough rolled out on the table. She didn’t roll out the dough during her attempt so it makes sense now why her cookies were ugly even before they got burnt. 

They only bickered a couple times. Once because Max questioned him about how he smells suspiciously like Steve. She didn’t expect him to get so defensive, but he immediately snapped at her and told her not to get into other people’s business. His defensiveness made her think that him and Steve were friends now, and he’s just embarrassed to admit it. Or maybe they’re...more? When she suggested that though, he nearly shoved her head into the dough so that’s going to be the last time she investigates on that. 

The second time, they bickered over whether or not they should add food coloring to the dough. I payed good money for this, shitbird, so we’re using it. They eventually decided to make different batches, some with dye and some without.  

“Do we need to cut them into circles now?”

“The fuck are you thinking? Circles are boring.”

Max rolls her eyes. “Oh I’m ever so sorry for offending you, master baker Billy,” she says sarcastically.  “What do you suggest we do to spice up this atrocious dough.”

Billy points his head towards the plastic bag. “Look in there, junior baker Maxine.”

She reaches out for the magical plastic bag. It’s already given her butter and red frosting. What else could be in there? Her entire face lights up when she sees a can of green frosting, four different cookie cutters, and so many sprinkles. 

“Consider this your Christmas present because you��re not going to get anything else.”

She gapes at him. He’s never done anything nice to her in her entire life. Ok, maybe that’s a slight exaggeration, but it’s definitely a once in a blue moon occasion. 

“Thank you,” she says, still gaping at him. She doesn’t know what else to say. 

“Yeah well stop staring at me like that.” He reaches across and flicks her mouth shut. “And close your mouth. You’re gonna catch flies.” 

She doesn’t say anything to that, but stares down at the plastic bag again. She’ll decorate a cookie for her mom. A red one with green sparkles. She wonders if Billy’ll decorate one for his dad. Probably not. Guess he’ll go cookie-less. Better for his cholesterol anyways. 

Her thoughts are disrupted when Billy’s fingers smudge bright, red, frosting across her face. She flinches and tries to shove him off but he does it again, icing smeared across both cheeks now. 

“You asshole,” she laughs, reaching inside the plastic bag and pulling out the green frosting. “You’re so on.”

By the end of their frosting battle, they’re both covered in red and green icing. At one point Billy even started showering her with sprinkles. It’ll take forever to get it out of her hair, and there’s barely any frosting left for the cookies, but there was just enough to make it last. 

Their parents were appalled when they walked in on their children covered in sugar, but it was worth it. Neil wasn’t even that upset since her mom was seemed happy enough. Susan followed them around with a camera, trying to convince them to pose together. You guys look so cute! C’mon just one picture. They retreated to their rooms to hide. 

Max ended up with two Christmas presents under the tree that year. 

[moxfirefly]

Do you think you could do #43 with Leo? Like maybe their s/o is having a panic attack or something? I love your work!

Some comforts after a painc attack, let’s see how we managed this with blue boy

Rated Everyone

TW: Panic Attack

Eighteen times.

You had called eighteen times.

This wasn’t a good sign. This wasn’t like Leonardo. There was always some confirmation that he was ok or that patrol would run late. You had contacted Donnie but he wasn’t out with them since he had gotten injured a few weeks back. He was benched for the time being.

You tried to calm yourself.

Think.

He had gone off with Raphael. They were heading down to the docks. It would be a simple mission, right? Nothing too bad, maybe some Foot sighting and a beat down. Raphael wasn’t picking up either. The whole situation was just too odd and your brain had decided to jump from keeping your calm to every horrid scenario that could’ve been.

Be sensible.

Leo is a tough man, and not just because it was obvious by the looks of him. He just was, he was calculated and methodical and there just isn’t a possibility in where he somehow fucks up and gets himself too hurt to call for help or worse...

Raph is with him.

You latch on to that though. For all their bickering Raphael would take on the world itself while on fire if it meant saving his brother. Raph would keep him safe, Raph would make sure to bring him home alive. But what if Raph got hurt? What if Leo was trying to save him? What if they were both...

Your chest ached, the sudden pressure felt overwhelmingly powerful. You clutched the phone so hard you were sure you could break it. Maybe you could make it to the lair, wait it out there. If the situation truly was a terrible as your mind was painting it out to be, surely Don and Mikey would be out by now looking for them.

You called Leo again.

It rang, it kept ringing...

And ringing.

With each ring you felt your breathing pick up to a point where you were nearing on hyperventilating.

When it kept ringing and there was no answer you dropped the phone and began to cry.

Your lungs felt overworked, your palms sweaty and the sensation of only being able to focus on what’s in front of you. It was cause of that you didn’t catch the arms that quickly wrapped around you. “Hey hey! I’m here! I’m here!” Leo’s voice tried to soothe you, his words firm trying to center you.

“I feel like I can’t breath!” You sobbed out, the logical side wanted to scream for joy that he was here but your turned around in his arms and smacked his chest. Your vision was blurred with tears but relief began to wash over slowly but surely. Leo gripped you and let you collapse against him. He shushed and rocked you.

He whispered his apologies against your ear, he sounded upset mainly because he blamed your current state in himself. “My phone, I lost it when we went in the water after a fight” Leo kissed your cheek and picked you up. You wrapped yourself around him as if he were a life line. “I th-thought you were-“ You couldn’t bare to end the sentence as you continued to sob against him. Every terrible scenario swam inside of your brain.

Leo held you, sighing against your neck. “I’m here Y/n, I’m right here I’m not going anywhere” He carried you to the bed and sat down with you still in his arms. You had a hold of him, your stuttering breaths slowing down.

When the fog in your vision began to clear and you had stopped digging your nail into scales with your vice grip, you those impossibly blue eyes look down at you apologetically.

You memorized that hue of blue.

Leo kissed you, slowly and ever so reassuringly.

[twstmischief]

Hi, me again. Could I get HC with Idia, Malleus, Azul, Rook, and Deuce receiving platonic kisses (cheek, forehead, or top of head) at random from a F. MC? Basically the MC is really affectionate with people she considers close to her (best friends) and usually always leaves a conversation with a 'love you'.

Oh to be kissed on the head by any of the main twst guys would make me so happy 😔😳

~ After you and Deuce were done studying for the Alchemy test you had the next day you stood up and gave him a kiss on the forehead and said the words “I love you” to him before leaving his room.

~ Wait. What just happened. What just happened? Deuce’s half of a braincell could not register it for a good few minutes.

~ Oh boy but when it did. The poor boy’s face was completely red, he shoved his face into a pillow and practically screamed. I mean this was probably the first “confession” he’s ever gotten.

~ The next day before you went into the classroom, Deuce had came up to you and asked what you meant by “I love you.” You gave him a grin and said. “It’s because your my best friend.” Before walking into the classroom.

~ OH... Oh...oh... That made so much sense. But it also hurt. It was in platonic sense... oh god, he felt so so stupid for thinking of it in any other way.

~ When you were telling Azul about somethings that happened during the day, he was paying attention just also, getting some contracts in order, and before you left you kissed him on the cheek and told him. “Thanks for listening! I love you!”

~ After you kissed him is when he froze, and then you told him you “loved” him is when his heart and brain stopped.

~ Wait. What did you just say?! Sure, you were adorable in every way, shape, and form... but to love someone like him?! He literally tried to take over your dorm! Wait. Didn’t you say the exact words “I think your pretty great without having to steal from others.” Oh my god! That should’ve been the first sign! His face and ears were practically all red by now.

~ The next time to came to Mostro Lounge Azul immediately drags you back to the VIP room to talk with you. You see that his face is red, and it confused you quite a bit. He then asked what you meant. You told him you were like a close friend and/or brother to you.

~ Ah, that made sense. Right? Yeah, right... platonic love. Nothing more. Nothing less. After all you were just dragged into this world and probably have a lover back home... right...

~ Rook was helping you study for the Arts class in the library. Once you were finished you thanked him and gave him a kiss on the cheek and told him the words “I love you!” then you left.

~ Okay. He was quite confused. Actually, scratch that. VERY confused. Sure, he jokingly called you cute, (well you are very cute) patted you on the head every once in while, and gave you the nickname Trickster. Wait did you take that in a romantic sense?

~ Oh god did his face light up in quite the shade of red. He felt guilty for teasing you in such a way that you thought he loved you!

~ The next day when you came to see Rook he felt a bit embarrassed seeing your happy face. When he asked you what you meant by the term “love” you told him like an older brother or a best friend. That’s when his heart and brain completely stopped. Oh. Wow.

~ Well weren’t you quite the Trickster.

~ Okay so Idia will be so confused and conflicted. After being told “I love you” right before you left his room and to top it all off you kissed his cheek!

~ Oh gods just thinking about it again just makes the poor guy blush bright red. Right now he’s hiding in his jacket trying to calm himself down and to get his thoughts in order.

~ The next time you came into his room he asked you about what you meant when you told him you loved him.

~ You raised your eyebrow in confusion. Wasn’t it obvious? Idia was your best friend! When you tell him that his brain took a second to register what you just told him.

~ Oh! Platonically! You love him platonically! Of course! That made much more sense than what he was thinking. Yeah... of course...

~ You and Malleus were having tea in Diasomnia. It was just the two of you since Silver was sleeping somewhere, Sebek was at the horseback riding club and Lilia was off doing god knows what. So it was nice spending time alone with Malleus. Once you realized it was time to go, because Grim would be angry if you didn’t come back to Ramshackle without a can of tuna you thanked Malleus with a kiss on the cheek and said “I love you!” Before leaving.

~ Malleus just froze, but his heart was beating quick. He was confused. He knew what the term love meant, but he never thought he’d hear it from a Child of Man. Specifically you!

~ The Diasomnia Dorm Leader’s pale face turned bright red. He could’ve never expected this. Yes, he thought you were quite cute the moment he saw you at Ramshackle and yes he has mentioned that he was scared to lose someone like you... but! What?!

~ When you came back the next day to hang out with Malleus, and whoever else was there. Malleus said he loved you too. And oh the poor boy from what he was about to hear.

~ The way you smiled when you told him you’re glad he also thought of you as a best friend made his heart stop. Oh right... Malleus completely forgot platonic love exists too...

I know some of this is repetitive but rn my brain is going buh dum tst

[strawberrysoup]

Let’s Review || Chapter 21

Peter Parker knew that his big sister would do anything for him to be safe and happy. She’d given up everything for him twice over already and would do it again in a heartbeat. And that’s why, when the criminal mastermind Tony Stark started inextricably following him around, he didn’t say a word. Because he knew without a doubt Penny would do whatever she had to if it meant keeping Peter safe. He had to protect her, just like she always protected him. He never considered what would happen if Stark decided both Parker siblings were worth taking. Never considered who else in Stark’s inner circle would agree. He just wanted to protect her and yet somehow, they both ended up with needles in their necks.  

relationship: Steve Rogers/Original Female Character/Bucky Barnes, background Peter Parker/Tony Stark rating: Explicit warnings: Dark Steve Rogers, Dark Bucky Barnes, Dark Tony Stark, Dark Avengers, kidnapping, non-consensual&dark sexual situations, underage Peter Parker, emotional and psychological abuse, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat more warnings: you know what? there’s really not anything. except like... this ones gonna hurt 🤙🤙 good luck

read this: fuck guys this chapter was draining and insane, please reblog and comment if you liked it. pleeeease.

The anxiety had been building for a week now, but as the final day of Penny’s stay in the tower progressed Peter found himself practically vibrating with panic. He’d been trying, desperately, to make Tony change his mind—he’d spent an entire day not talking to the man, had screamed and raged against him, he’d cried and begged, offered anything in exchange for Penny to stay. The older man had held his ground remarkably, gently admonishing him for all of his misbehavior and brattiness and explaining, every time, that it was what was best for Penny.

In all fairness, Peter realized about half way through the week there was no hope for convincing Tony, but he had to keep up the behavior lest he rouse suspicion. Thankfully it wasn’t exactly hard to be depressed and angry and petty, not when Tony was endangering his sister.

The garbled piece of technology in his pocket felt heavier than ever, in his head the iridium electrodes were ten thousand degrees. Peter didn’t want to use it—kind of. He didn’t want to make Tony sad or angry, but he kind of did? What he knew he wanted was for Penny to escape, with or without him.  Any disappointment or anger would be worth it, he’d revel in it just a bit, and Penny would be safe.

“Come here baby.”

His feet moved before he even thought of it, trailing over to where Tony was standing at the bar with a finger of scotch in a tumbler. They were getting ready to head down to the soldier’s floor, freshly showered after a day in the lab and just waiting for it to be time. Peter didn’t understand why they couldn’t just go early, why did they have to wait all day anyway? He could’ve been with Penny hours ago, he could’ve helped her escape hours ago. The clock was ticking and his nerves were rising.

“You are freaking out,” Tony told him pointedly as he drew Peter into his arms once he was close enough, tucking the boy against his chest, “I can feel your brain going nuts. What do you need baby?”

“Penny.” It wasn’t a belligerent or angry response, just short and desperate.

Tony sighed heavily, weight settling on his shoulders at the teenager’s words. He’d been conflicted for the last week, ever since Steve told him the ‘plan’. The plan to take Penny a thousand miles away and tuck her away inside of a cabin until they could condition her to behave. He understood the method to the madness—he’d considered spiriting them away before too. But the keyword was them. He had considered taking them both off to some secluded cabin. It was the same sensation Tony had gotten when he decided he would steal Penny away along with Peter; they were supposed to be together.

But that wasn’t to say he didn’t see the necessity.

Tony was fully aware that Penny was not adapting the same way his boy was. Where Peter had fallen into tolerance and was moving towards acceptance and potentially even appreciation, Penny was still actively resisting most of the time. Steve revealed that she’d started to break after reaching her pain threshold, there had been small cracks in the surface and the soldiers were managing to pry their way through the gaps. Had it been Peter, they would’ve had him calm and docile and perfectly behaved by now—but Penny was a completely different animal.

It was slow going though, agonizingly slow. And her reluctance caused a correlating reluctance in Peter, who generally matched her opinions and emotions but at about a quarter of the level of passion. Not to say Peter wasn’t passionate about things, the kid was, but Tony still wondered if the teenager realized the gravity of what had happened the way Penny did.

For all of his intelligence, Peter was still young. His ability to think logically was great, but his immaturity hindered him; Penny had shielded him, a lot, from the realities of the world. The idea that he was with Tony for the rest of his life likely didn’t mean much, it was a concept but Peter didn’t have any way to conceptualize the future like that. His brain was perpetually stuck in the present, just like most kids his age.

Penny understood consequences. She understood harsh realities and disadvantages and unescapable struggle; she’d lived it for so long. Three jobs, no bed, no insurance, no degree, no— Tony had to stop himself. Penny understood suffering in a way she hadn’t allowed Peter to, had protected him from. Penny knew what forever meant and she knew it was crippling. Peter was in the early chapters, still in his exposition and living in the moment. His sister was at the end of her story, a tragic dénouement of everything she’d ever known.

Peter had retained his rose-colored glasses, whereas Penny’s were smashed when she was thirteen. Hard stop, no condolences for the loss of her childhood—they were obliterated when she could barely comprehend what life was and the difference between the pair was palpable.

If they kept the siblings together, Penny would never adapt beyond protecting Peter. She wouldn’t be able to see the future as an opportunity versus a loss, not while she felt like she had failed him. Seeing Tony touch him, talk to him, look at him was enough to make Penny fall into a pit of existential dread over her failure to protect her brother. The separation had to happen; him and Peter needed to develop away from the soldiers and Penny—there was no other viable solution.

The way Tony’s arm tightened around his back for just a moment, a quick reassuring squeeze, told Peter that despite the silence the man hadn’t changed his mind. He wouldn’t relent. He wouldn’t fucking fix it.

“Here, you know what? Let’s peek in,” Tony gestured towards the TV with the tumbler, tugging Peter around the bar to stand just behind the sofa, “JARVIS, how’s Penny and the Popsicles?”

“Ms. Parker has just changed clothes and is awaiting your arrival, sir,” the AI responded smoothly, “shall I pull up the camera feed?”

“Yeah, throw it on the TV,” Tony wrapped his arms around Peter and pulled him into his chest once again, resting his cheek against the side of his head while they focused on the screen, where Penny was walking into the living room.

She was wearing a long sleeved shirt that dusted her knuckles and leggings, her masses of hair pulled into a bobble on the top of her head. The camera was focused on the living room as a whole, angled to see the front of the couch and armchairs, Penny’s daybed just barely visible in the corner. Bucky was sitting on the armchair, phone in his flesh hand while Steve skirted the top corner of the screen, walking around the kitchen and dining room.

Peter clocked that something was amiss immediately. Penny was hugging herself around the waist, shoulders hunched towards her ears as she crossed the room. They were able to catch her profile as she came to a stop in front of Bucky and waited until she had his attention, a hint of the expression on her face something Peter recognized to be heart wrenching. When he put his phone down and sat up slightly, looking almost concerned, Penny immediately tucked herself into his lap—of her own volition. Bucky was visibly in disbelief, arms snapping up to help settle her, tucking her close when she rolled even further onto her hip and pressed her chest against his. She went so far as to press her face against the slope of his neck, arms tucking around the back of his neck and shoulders tightly.

Bucky had followed all of her movements valiantly, helping her adjust and tugging her knees to rest between his thigh and the arm rest. Steve even crept further into the corner of the screen, looking at Bucky with raised eyebrows and signing something with one hand while absently holding up a pitcher with the other.

There was something crawling under Peter’s skin; he could feel it slithering over his muscle tissue and insinuating itself into his being. A sharp tremble ran down his back and he pulled away from Tony, pretending to turn to wipe away tears when instead he was trying to get a handle on his shaking. He couldn’t identify it, didn’t know what was going on, it felt like his blood was bubbling in his veins and he tamped down the shiver fiercely before Tony could tug him back into his chest.

“See baby, Penny’s fine, she’s just waiting for us,” he murmured gently against the side of Peter’s head—Tony didn’t know, didn’t recognize how sad she looked— “I know this is going to be hard. It’s gonna be hard for all of us, but Penny won’t be gone long baby. They’ll be back before we know it.”

Penny would break before they knew it. Penny would break. Penny would shatter. Something viscous was festering in his chest, constricting his organs. His heart was pounding but blood was oozing rather than pumping through his veins, it felt thick and congested—he felt sick, he was going to puke but Tony was shuffling him towards the elevator already. Peter swallowed hard, allowing himself to be ushered inside while the man followed behind.

“Soldiers’ floor, J.”

“Of course, sir.”

Tony cursed before the elevator doors closed, sticking his arm out, “I forgot Penny’s present, wait here baby.”

And all of a sudden the blood was rushing through Peter’s veins. He didn’t even think—the moment Tony was out of sight he ripped the piece of tech from his pocket and opened the tiny pocket that allowed whatever little physical maintenance that was necessary for an AI enhanced elevator. He couldn’t have imagined such a pristine opportunity, hadn’t had any idea how he was going to execute his plan.

“Mr. Parker, I do not—”

“Sorry JARVIS,” he gasped, on the verge of a panic attack as he hastily connected the circuit board to the elevator system and, by proxy, JARVIS’ system.

Peter had just closed the panel before Tony returned and the teenager found himself gasping for breath, leaning against the railing in the elevator. Tony sighed upon seeing his distress, obviously believing it was a result of Penny’s impending departure—it wasn’t like JARVIS could explain otherwise, Peter glanced towards the red dot in the corner of the elevator, once again apologizing to the AI in his mind.

When the elevator stopped and the doors opened, he stepped into the foyer where the soldiers’ front door was located and waited, shaking, to see what happened when Tony stepped off. He let the man shuffle him along, listening for the sound of the elevator doors behind them. Tony didn’t seem to notice that it stayed in place, open, an anomaly for either of the tower residents’ personal elevators.

The front door opened and Penny burst through, immediately jumping up to wrap her arms around Peter’s shoulders to tug him into the biggest hug she was capable of. He could feel her shaking, Tony’s hand rested on the small of his back and the soldiers were standing inside the apartment, waiting to welcome them in. Peter reeled with scenarios, looking to the side at Tony’s face, his eyes. He let his eyes trail over him for just a few seconds before shifting.

He made eye contact with Steve for all of four seconds before sweeping Penny up and darting back to the still open elevator, “JARVIS! Down, now! Fast!”

He slid through the doors with Penny clutched to his chest just before the door closed and the elevator started to descend at the fastest rate that was safe for unaided, standing human transportation.

“PALTI CHAYIM WHAT DID YOU DO?!” She was screaming in Hebrew, words flying from her mouth so fast he couldn’t even keep up—something about stupid, why, what they’ll, safe—

“PENNY—Fuck! You have to run! Stop screaming, listen! When we get to the floor you run!” He shouted back, trying not to shake her too hard while they continued to descend uncomfortably fast, “I don’t know how long it’ll work!”

“Peter why did you do this?” Penny was sobbing into his chest while he struggled to get them both to their feet, “Palti Chayim, I—Fuck! Fuck­—”

Her hands dug into his shirt roughly and she shoved him into the back corner of the elevator, falling against him just a moment later. Peter’s arm lashed around her waist when she almost fell while trying to turn, her back pressing him further into the corner and he realized the elevator was starting to slow. Penny’s hands gripped the railings to each side, trapping him in the corner. His eyes snapped to the blue dots over the doors and his heart seized in his chest—they were only on floor 35, for the elevator to have slowed so much they would’ve needed to be on the 20th floor minimum to stop on the 1st floor at the current rate of deceleration.

JARVIS was back in full control, carefully dropping their speed until it came to a complete stop on the 12th floor. Penny’s body locked up like she’d gone into rigor mortis when it started to ascend again, her breathing coming in frantic pants. It was going up at the usual clip and Peter realized that every second it took made his heart beat faster in his chest. He was light headed, dread setting in.

Tony had told him multiple times that anticipation was the real punishment sometimes, the overwhelming paranoia and fear and desolation. His thoughts immediately began to spiral and his knees weakened slightly.

“When it stops you stay in here,” Penny’s voice shook as she spoke.

“Wha­—”

“Shut your mouth!” She screamed, once again defaulting to Hebrew, “Be quiet. Do as I say. Do. Not. Move.”

“Penina—”

“Stop.”

Peter swallowed down a sob, head dropping to rest on her shoulder. The passing of floors was marked by a soft tone and between the two of them, they were barely able to remain standing when the silence between beeps started to lengthen. Penny’s grip on the railing slipped, her hands sweaty from sheer panic, her knees just barely holding up the extra weight. His arm was still slung around her waist, but his hold was too slack to keep her up despite the strength with which he clenched her shirt in his fist.

“Stay.” Penny managed to choke the order out just seconds before the door opened, a panicked sound escaping her lips when she realized her legs weren’t moving the way she needed them to.

It just amped the anticipation, Penny’s brief but agonizing hesitation before she forced her limbs to react and lead her out of the elevator. He nearly gagged on a sob, watching as she put her hands up and out to her sides, just slightly. Penny was vibrating with fear, her fingers almost blurry from a distance.

“P-Please—” Peter couldn’t see them, they must’ve been standing to the side of the doors, in front of the second elevator, “it’s m-my fault.”

“No—!” He launched himself forward, only for his sister to turn faster than he thought she could move.

Penny had never laid a violent hand on him, but the way she shoved him back into the elevator bordered on it, “SHUT UP!”

He’d never noticed the way Penny’s voice cracked when she screamed before. It had always been there, he was aware in the back of his mind, but he’d never really noticed. It hurt in a special way, when the bottom seemed to fall out of her words until she could rally through the rasp. Penny had been smoking some combination of weed and cigarettes for almost as long as he could remember—had she been fourteen or fifteen? He was only eight, maybe nine at the time. Did her voice crack like that before?

His thoughts spiraled once again while Penny turned forward again, putting herself between his seated self and the three men’s towering forms, “I’m his guardian. His actions fall on me, not him. I should’ve stopped him, I shouldn’t—if I had stayed inside t-to wait, it wouldn’t have—”

“Babydoll,” Steve sighed, shifting to step closer but stopping short when a full body cringe racked her form and her hands lifted to cover her face, just for a second before she clasped them tightly in front of her chest, “Penny…”

“You—you can just… p-punish me, okay?” Her voice was shaking as badly as her body, hitching every few words and she shuddered violently for a moment before lowering herself onto her knees, “H-He’s just a k-kid, I should’ve—”

“Okay, precious, come here,” Tony scooped her up under her arms, bringing her back to her feet before tucking her into his chest, “I know that this is just what you do. It’s a compulsion, trying to take the blame like this? But we both know nothing you did could’ve stopped him. He grabbed you and ran before Steve could get to you, sweetheart.”

“N-No, I—”

“We had audio and video in the elevator the whole time, doll,” Steve cut her off gently, “JARVIS was translating to Tony’s phone. We know what you said, and we know what he said.”

A choked sob escaped Penny and her fingers dug violently into Tony’s old t-shirt, her nails scratching him through the fabric. Bucky immediately darted forward and snatched her out of Tony’s arms, spinning them around until Peter couldn’t see her around the bulk of his body. It had been preventative—if they got to her before she did damage, there didn’t have to be a punishment. He could see her legs kicking and the sound of her crying but not much else.

“Peter,” his attention snapped to Tony, who’d stepped directly in front of him, “we’re going to go inside, everyone is going to calm down, and we’re going to have a good night. Do you understand?”

His breath froze in his chest for just a moment, whooshing out when the man crouched to look him dead in the eye, “are you willing to calm down so that you can be with Penny this evening?”

It took him a half second longer than he intended to nod, murmuring a quiet response. He was rewarded by a small smile and Tony helping him up, the older man immediately wrapping an arm around his waist once he was on his feet.

There wouldn’t be any opportunity for escape, of course, whether Tony was physically holding him or not. He’d give the kid one thing: he never thought Peter would get so close. Never thought Peter could get so close. He wondered how long he’d been working on that particular piece of tech—something that overrode JARVIS’s response to his orders. It only worked in the one elevator and it was corrected within two minutes of the breach, but it was still incredibly impressive. Especially considering Tony had been very careful not to provide him with any parts or pieces that could facilitate a runaway attempt.

Inside the apartment, Bucky was still cradling Penny tightly to his chest but now in the same position that they’d seen on the security camera. Tony could feel Peter tremble against his side at the sight, his chest jumping with a suppressed sob. There were a pair of kittens worming their way around Bucky’s ankle, the little white one particularly loud in its’ efforts to be noticed.

“It gets upset when Penny’s upset,” Steve stated from behind, startling Peter for just a moment when he walked around the pair and towards the chair, “here you go, doll.”

The super soldier scooped the tiny cat into his hand and deposited it right against the exposed crook of Penny’s neck before swiping the orange one up as well, setting it on the arm of the couch a few feet away.

“That one doesn’t?” Tony questioned, guiding them over to the couch and pressing Peter sit before sitting next to him.

“It doesn’t like to be touched as much,” the blond answered, already walking towards the dining room again, “food should be up soon.”

Tony knew that Steve was doing his best to distance himself at the moment, lest he lose his temper on Peter. He was pissed, practically steaming in irritation and honestly Tony appreciated the lengths he was going to. The orange cat let out a squeaky meow from where it sat, looking hesitant to be on the same surface as other people. It very carefully hopped from the arm of the couch to a seat cushion, toeing the very edge before backing away nervously.

“Here, I’ll put you down,” Peter murmured quietly, reaching over and carefully picking the kitten up, relieved when it didn’t protest and sat it on the ground gently.

“Do you need a cat too, baby?” Tony nosed his temple gently before pressing a kiss there, watching Peter smile when the orange cat went up onto its back legs to knead its little paws against his ankle.

The teenager reached over and picked the kitten back up when it continued to meow and scratch at him, obviously looking for attention. As soon as it was on his lap it started to squirm, but only until his hands weren’t wrapped around it. The little thing was sniffing around him curiously, stumbling across his lap on unsteady paws.

A tone sounded near the front door, alerting them that the food had arrived. Steve was quick to respond but Penny didn’t even shift and Peter certainly didn’t look much inclined to move while the kitten was, adorably and painfully, clawing its way up the front of his shirt.

“How about we eat around the coffee table,” Steve suggested as he walked into the living room with two large, brown paper bags full of food, having evidently read Tony’s mind, “Tone, can you get everything out? I’ll go grab plates.”

Tony started absently digging through the bags and pulling out the styrofoam containers. He was definitely checking what was in everything and stacking it around the table depending on who’d be eating what, but his eyes were mostly locked on Peter. The kitten had made its way up to his shoulder and was furiously rubbing its face against his cheek, purring up a storm.

“It usually only lets Penny touch it,” Bucky’s voice rumbled from the armchair, his eyes also focused on Peter and the cat while his hands absently roved over Penny’s still form, “even then not for long.”

“Maybe it has discerning taste,” Tony reached out and tried to scratch it under the chin, only to jerk back when it lashed out with sharp little kitten claws, “exquisite tastes, I guess.”

“It’s cute but those claws are sharp as hell,” Steve returned with plates and silverware, two six packs balanced on top and a few bottles of soda tucked under his arm, “Bucky would be covered in scars if we didn’t heal.”

“I was trying to play with it, I didn’t think it would turn into a psycho killer and go for the jugular.”

“Says the psycho killer who regularly goes for the jugular,” Tony muttered under his breath, making Steve and Bucky both snort in amusement while Peter wondered if an actual ice cube going down his spine could make more goosebumps than that statement, “why not get it declawed?”

Steve and Bucky exchanged looks, both cautiously glancing towards where Penny’s face was tucked into the brunet’s neck, “it’s not—”

“Declawing a cat is cruel,” Penny’s voice was watery and angry, “they’ll be in pain for the rest of their lives. You want them to stop scratching but all it does is make them angry and mean and they’ll spend the rest of their lives hating you. Making your life as miserable as possible until you give up and either euthanize them or give them away. It’s what you get for ruining their fucking lives.”

[hoodedwing]

Loyalty Killed Me

Summary: The Joker could finally do what he wanted to do, traumatize Nightwing

Characters: Nightwing. Harley Quinn. Joker. Mentions of Red Hood

Warnings: Just really sick ways of stitching people up. Blood. Depressive. Major character/s death mentions. Batman. Doctor Leslie Thompkins

Additional Notes: I know Joker cannot traumatize Grayson canon-wise? Please correct me if I’m wrong.

Word Count: 2,242 words

***

Time doesn't stop.

Time knows, in its hands. It plays around with the seconds. These seconds matter, someone dying, someone on the communicator whispering, ____ come get me. come get me, I can't go back.

Time doesn't freeze. Time does not have a cloak drapes around it in a timeless manner. Time does not walk in a regal manner and stroke your gaping wounds to cauterize them. Apply pressure because really, when did Time wait for you to stop the damned arterial spray? Have you seen first hand how much blood can spew, almost like a fountain from that serrated dagger?

Time has caught up with Dick Grayson, the Wonder Boy. The Nightwing Blüdhaven didn't deserve. The loving boyfriend/husband of Barbara Gordon. The first son of Bruce Wayne, Batman.

Batman. He doesn't know who's Batman. Not anymore.

-

3200..6400..12800..

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Remember, inhale slowly, inflate lungs. Let it circulate through. Let. Let it work.

Richard. That's your name. Your mother was beautiful and your father was handsome. You are a Grayson. You have brothers and sisters.

Pain.

Pain is relative. If you fuck with pain long enough, it won't fuck back with you. Pain spreads through him and he inhales deep, bigger breaths. Trying to drown out the searing ache. He succeeds, deceives his brain.

Dick Grayson is such a liar.

He knows how to lie, how to smile widely at the Blüdhaven precinct when shit goes down or still tell a joke or two when Damian is there.

Dick Grayson is such a liar.

He's a good man. Honest to goodness. He's fooled himself into thinking his left leg didn't feel on fire, he's successfully managed to stop gasping against the rattle of his chest, a rub or two might be the cause. Who knows?

BOY WONDER! SAD YOUR DEAREST BATMAN HASN'T COME TO SAVE YOU YET? WHY LOOK AT THAT.

Mistah J checks his watch and smiles, his crooked smile stares back at Richard.

Dick only looks away as the Joker's cold fingers run his slimy, skinny fingers along his body. He used to shiver under his touch in a bad way, he would gulp and squeeze his eyes shut, hunting for memories to dive into.

When he got Zitka. When his mother named him her Robin. When he went on patrol for the first time with the all mighty Batman. When he first met Jason. Then Tim. Then Damian. Then the nights they spent healing wounds, fighting together or just sleeping or Netflix.

Dick doesn't move, doesn't say a word. He doesn't even let out a humourless laugh or a quip. Dick clings onto a hope.

Batman. Come get me.

BOY WONDER IS STILL LIVING. WHY, THAT'S A JOY. COME OUT THERE LITTLE BLUE BIRD. YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN STAY IN THAT LITTLE BRAIN OF YOURS? WHEN YOU WAKE UP. THAT LEG WILL HURT. YOUR BLOOD WILL SPILL AGAIN ON THAT DARNED LITTLE CREST.

He doesn't care. The glorious speech does not make him flinch. He looks at the window, one thought crosses his cloudy vision.

Bruce (Dad), come get me.

LET'S HAVE SOME MORE FUN, SHALL WE. EVEN JAYBIRD PLAYED THIS GAME TOO. COME ON, HE HAD FUN. LET'S PLAY BLUE BIRD. BLUE JAY. HMM. I LIKE THAT.

-

Playtime.

Its always target practice. He would lie there and watch Harley swing her mallet here and there, sometimes too close to Dick and she would talk to him, so sweetly.

Aww, you wanna play too? Let's play together, shall we?

His face will clench up, his head will scream and suddenly everything is loud as Harley fires guns at targets and maybe shoot some arrows at Dick.

On lucky days, he's used as her gymnast prop.

I want to fly again. Batman I'm falling, please I'd like to fly again. My wings are clipping and I will rip. -

He falls asleep.

You can't call it sleeping. Dozing in and out of consciousness, he was neither awake or sleeping. A grey haze flittered across his vision. No sign of clarity. He still heard the rattle of his breath, the fire in his leg. The now warm abdomen.

He feels someone at his leg.

Harley Quinn was there, a sly smile as he feels a needle go in and out.

In and out. In and out.

In and out, in and out. You need to breathe Dick. In and out. In and out.

When he hears the door shut and a ricocheting silence, he peeks at his leg.

A sick suturing of his leg stabs with dental floss, a handiwork Harley was sure to boast later on. He doesn't care if it gets infected. What's the big deal? Batman will take care of it.

He turns over on his side to his communicator lay. The Nightwing emblem was shattered beyond measure. No matter, I can get a new one. The communication mattered.

He presses the distress signal again, again. Again. Bruce better get that flashing orange light and he should feel his bipolar touch in no time.

He tries to talk, voice hoarse from decreased usage and a rough sandpaper-like quality stuck to it.

"H..hello? Bruce. Dad. Please get me. I'm.. I'm waiting. Please."

He turns back in his side, curled up like an invited animal.

The rain pours, shadows keep coming in and out but none belong to his dad.

The boy asks the moon if Batman had lost his way. Asked if the moon could shine the light brighter at him so Dad can find him faster. He'll be okay, he'll be okay. Bruce might be lost, after all. There's a lot of streets and time isn't on anyone's side.

-

Two weeks go by.

Dick still finds himself bound by the ties and definitely no sign of the caped crusader.

Batman is surely coming.

That thought fades slowly, over the weeks. He's gotten more used to the Joker and the crowbar.

Is this how Jason felt, when he was in Hell?

Dick cannot remember. Dick only knows how the sound of metal and bones work, how the bullet will hit skin, pierce it through with frightening velocity and dull ache afterwards. The pool of blood will remind him that yes, I was shot.

A sick game of Russian Roulette. Instead of one bullet, there's multiple. A .44 magnum shouldn't hurt anymore. The revolver keeps spinning in his mind where acrobats should be. Where's Bruce. Where's dad. Am I forgotten?

Dick tried to remember how to breathe. Is it that hard? Just pulling in oxygen and letting the respiration mechanism do its work?

Distract thine self.

He tries to remember. Tries. He's trying. Nightwing has to do this. You need to at least remember your name. Your mother, your father. Dick. Dick.

Richard. That's your name. Your mother was beautiful but I don't know what her hair colour is, sometimes it's blonde or chestnut and your father was handsome.  You are a Grayson. You have brothers and sisters. Are they Jason? Tim? Da- I don't remember, I don't remember the tiny one. Is he even real? Your sisters too. Stephanie, Stephanie. I have one more, the sneaky one. She's fast but I don't know her name. I'd like to know her well too. Pity I. I don't know her name. I hope she knows my name. That way I can hear her voice and maybe figure out who is the charming one. I know she does ballet. I know she made brownies once with.. Who? I don't remember his name. The old man with cheery wrinkles and deep eyes. I don't know who he is too. Oh. Oh oh. Dick.

[DANGEROUS TO FALL ASLEEP, RICHARD JOHN 'DICK' GRAYSON. EYES. OPEN. EYES. OPEN. BREATHE. (MY LUNGS DON'T WORK)]

I'm begging someone, please. It doesn't have to be Bruce. Get the ballet girl to help me please, she fast and maybe I can ask her name while she gets me out of here.

-

Bruce never gives up.

You know that too, do you? He's spent 3 weeks finding his son. His beloved child.

Do you ever think how much Bruce's heart breaks over and over everyday?

-

"ALFRED?! CAN YOU GET JASON NOW, NOW, NOW?! I FIGURED HIS COORDINATES."

Bruce flips from the Batcomputer and grabs everything. A blind haste, he's never dressed so fast. His son. Oh my god, his son.

Jason is down there getting the Batmobile to rev up and they speed.

They speed.

Are they fast?

I guess. If you call 290 in 85 fast.

They run, Jason dashing first and his breath catches in his throat. A cold draught erupts inside of him. He snarls, Bruce turns as he digs through the alleyways. He finds what he knows lurks.

"The sick fucker is going to end Dick in the same fucking warehouse he ended me in. That big bitch.

Bruce puts one hand on his shoulder and squeezes. No time to panic, Dick is the one. is the unsaid message as Jason crashes through the window.

And even him, Red Hood. The one who sees and commits murder everyday, stops and hot anger sears through him.

Dick lies, barely 15 feet away, bound up and covered in his own blood, the ripped Nightwing suit from his recon mission. Bruce picks him up while Jason gladly punched (and secretly plugged a bullet) the fuck out of Mistah J and Harley.

They lie on unconscious, Jason evaluates the scenes, trying to suppress his screams at what they've done to Grayson.

Bruce picks up Dick like he's glass, he hurries to the Batmobile with Jason telling to prepare the Medbay.

"The Medbay.. I.. I don't think. Leslie. Leslie can."

Is all Bruce says and Jason revs up, driving the Batmobile way beyond the legal limit. Bruce doesn't give a flying banana about it. He'll pay the fine later.

Bruce looks down at his son, hoping he hasn't fallen asleep yet. Finally, finally Dick is in the arms of the crusader. Half his domino mask is ripped and Bruce tries to not break at the baby blues staring without any light-hearted gaze.

His heart still beats (A reminder he's alive and could've been more alive. Bruce failed him)

"LESLIE. DR THOMPKINS!"

Jason screeches across and marching in, earning angry stares  from the other patients but it turns into gasps and horror when they see Batman carry a limp Nightwing barely clad in spandex anymore. Everyone bows out, knowing they were priority.

-

Something inside Dick broke.

He doesn't know what it is.

He'll live with it.

-

"Bruce, he's fallen into a coma."

Leslie says, solemn. Angry tears form in Jason's eye and he was about to fight Bruce, give him the tirade. Compare him to Nightwing.

The unspoken message rings loudly in Bruce's mind. He doesn't need Jason to say it.

You failed him too.

Jason is seething, anger. Sadness a d everything is violating him from inside.

If you were a minute later, he would've died. We would've been carrying his body to the grave. The Joker would still live. You see the problem? DO YOU NOT SEE THE FUCKING PROBLEM?

Bruce sits beside Dick, his pulse like a fluttering butterfly. He grasps his hand in Duck's fragile one and prays.

Prays that he wakes up.

-

Dick is on a life support machine now.

I guess the ventilator couldn't keep him up. All good boys do die. If not, maybe a part of them broke.

Dick is no exception.

-

Alfred squeezes Bruce's hand. Jason sits so quietly beside him alongside the rest of the family.

Its April 27th. Jason was taken this day.

They don't say a word, neither does Red Hood, he just wants the baby blue eyes to open again.

He cries.

-

Five months have gone by and he stirs slowly.

He's barely moving and Jason shoots up and looks, squeezes Dick's hand again.

Baby blues meet emerald green.

Jason dashes for Leslie. She comes and shoos everyone out.

Jason is fucking glad. Dick is alive.

-

Bruce is disappointed.

He cannot bring himself to meet Dick who's currently in the ward under observation. He's failed Dick. He knows it.

He enters, heavy hearted. Dick is smiling at everyone but Bruce can see it, the hard lines. The sunshine doesn't reach the baby blues. He thinks they've turned into aquamarine, a shade tad too dark. I guess, that's what trauma does to people.

Dick smiles at Bruce, he feels the tension and Dick pats the chair beside him where Jason was sleeping. Bruce softly sits, he has no heart to wake Jason up.

Dick is alive. Dick is alive.

Bruce places one hand on Grayson's one, it feels much more warmer and his pulse is beating normally.

And he breaks.

He cries, tears steaming down his cheeks. An ugly sound escapes his throat. Bruce gasps in air and exhales shakily. Dick watches, silent.

Is this how you felt when I was in Hell?

Dick doesn't touch Bruce, doesn't say its okay and I'm alive. He stares dead into Bruce.

I cannot forgive.

Dick sits quietly, he doesn't have to say it. Loyalty does kill you in the end if you step on all the wrong pieces of glass.

That's when you find yourself falling from the trapeze line, you find yourself swirling again in the memories you wish you could lock.

Loyalty in the end, is your demise.

[scandalousfemale]

Ch. 6 Running Up That Hill

Chinese!OC x Kelce

This wasn’t supposed to happen. Zombies were meant for apocalyptic movies and tv shows where one could binge watch for a day and return to their mundane life. But something happened, a lab test went wrong and suddenly the outbreak started. This story takes place exactly three weeks after zombies slowly started to take over the planet.

Series Master List

WC:2,750

Warnings: If you know this song then you already know what this chapter is about...Major character death, grief, shooting, biting, stabbing, mentions of a blade slicing skin, mentions of blood, and zombies

A/N: Thank you for your patience and for continuing to read this. My son got sick this week and so did my dad so life is hard right now. I do promise that this series will continue to be uploaded, hopefully weekly and if not then at least you can rest easy knowing that it will uploaded eventually since most of the outlines have already been planned/written out. Also, I must apologize in advance for this chapter. I loved him, too.

If you had asked Kaili how October 28th, 2024 began, she probably couldn’t even tell you. In the morning, it seemed like everyone was arguing about something that, looking back at it now, didn’t even matter. She did know that they should’ve left before while the chunk of people was still leaving. Having only three other neighbors, who didn’t patrol, wasn’t something they thought about. Taking for granted all the times’ someone else was walking up and down the street, keeping them safe without them realizing it. 

The electricity and water had turned off the night before, she remembered that. They should’ve left immediately after the shutdown but how were they supposed to know that a group of zombies was headed their way? They couldn’t have. So, one can’t blame Wheezie for throwing the tantrum that she did when Sarah told her that she wasn’t old enough to go off to get groceries with the older kids and that she wasn’t old enough to flirt with Topper. And maybe they should’ve known better when Wheezie continued to stomp through the house, going into the front yard, and having a screaming match with Rafe about something else only to resort to her running in through the back, leaving the fence and sliding door open. No, one really could not blame her for how the other kids woke up to a blood-curdling scream that came from Wheezie when she was downstairs. Only to have them rush in and see a shell of a man, his ribs exposed, and his jaw unhinged, on top of Wheezie. Kaili didn’t see much of that interaction, distracted by the sounds of moaning, coming from the backyard. Her head snapped at the noise, seeing about a half dozen zombies following the sound of the sobbing girl.

Rafe was the first to run to Wheezie’s aid, without hesitation he was there to fight the undead man off his younger sister. Rafe would’ve done anything to protect Wheezie and so he did, as he tussled on the ground with the green-ish monster snapping his teeth at him. After the others ran to the back entrance, trying to fight the zombies back, Kaili ran over to Wheezie. The little girl was still almost paralyzed on the floor near her brother, she kept staring at the scene as tears rolled down her face. Kaili pulled the younger girl up on her feet, holding her face in her hands as she scanned her. The girl kept looking through her to Rafe. 

“Are you okay?” Kaili asked, shaking the smaller girl by her shoulders, trying to get her to snap back to reality. She wasn’t even sure if she was yelling or not, unable to control the volume of her voice when everything around them sounded like it was played on the max volume on a speaker.

“Yes, but--,” Wheezie tried to explain but Kaili didn’t give her a chance. There wasn’t time.

She pushed the little girl to Pope, who was standing by them, “get to the bus. We’ll meet you there,” Kaili paused to look at the scene behind them, “hopefully.”

“But— but you. Everything,” Pope blubbered and she understood what he meant, everything they were building up. The first aid kits, the food, the effort they put into this place to make it their home, was destroyed. They were about to lose everything. Her brain ran a hundred miles an hour but she couldn’t bring herself send anyone up to gather supplies when they were being outnumbered here.

“There’s no time. There’s no time.” She kept repeating until it clicked in his head and all Pope did was just nod and pulled the girl towards the door as he eliminated the threat in front of them.

“Sarah!” Wheezie screeched for her sister when four zombies grabbed at Pope.

Finally, the two were able to recruit Topper, John B, Sarah, and Kiara to create a way for them to even leave the house. The zombies weren’t overwhelming in number and maybe they could’ve all gotten out alive if they weren’t taken by surprise. When Kaili saw Rafe by the front door, fighting a batch of zombies by himself, she pulled two blades from her thighs so fast that the action caused the sharp end to slice her skin. Not even thinking about her open wound, she ran over to her friend, stabbing a snarling creature that would’ve hurt him from behind. Rafe’s breathing was ragged, he had sweat glistening on his forehead, his hair sticking to his skin. Kaili noticed that while the other group of kids was gone, they had left Rafe off to fend for himself. A mistake that should’ve never been made.

Kelce and JJ slowly made their way from the back door to the other two by the front door. Moving objects to trap zombies in random rooms but somehow the size of the herd doesn’t seem to be dwindling. The group of four stood with their backs to each other, trusting that the other will be there to protect them and at one point, Kaili had accepted that if this is how she was going to go then she was in good company.

“JJ!” Rafe’s voice boomed as he kicked a zombie in the gut and hacked his head off with Kaili’s machete, “go get the bus, tell them to come around. The only way out of this is to make a run for it.” The older boy ordered and without a second thought, JJ was running. He didn’t ask for anyone else to go with him, he just ran through the front door, ducking and taking out the creatures by their knees. Kaili tried to do the mental math in her head and maybe Rafe was right. If the bus had come around to the front of the house, then they all would be able to out of here but they also didn’t know how many zombies were waiting for them outside and how much more was coming.

“If we can get them all in the house,” Kaili rasped as she stabbed a zombie in the forehead, “we can shut the doors and have better luck getting to the bus.” 

The boys immediately agreed. Kelce was the brave fool who pushed down the dining table and rushed it against the hallway before the front door. Making as much noise as possible. Kaili saw that the zombies were more erratic when it came to her because they smelled the blood that was dripping down her cut. When she made sure that both boys were out, she wiped her hands against her wound and smeared the blood all over the walls of the hallway, just briefly jumping out the front door before one of them caught her. Kelce pressed his body against the front door. Telling the other two to run over around the back to they can shut the door to the fence.

Kaili should’ve known it was a bad idea since the scent of her blood would’ve traveled with her, especially now that she had it on her hands but she didn’t think about it. So when they reached the backyard wooden fence, instead of the zombies trying to fit themselves into the house to follow the scent, half of them were coming back to the unsteady wood that Rafe and Kaili were pressing up against to try to get to her. Using all her strength to press her body up against the fence, she started looking side to side to see if there’s anything she could pull up to keep the door shut for when they start running but she couldn’t find anything. Rafe’s breathing became more shallow next to her and his eyes suddenly looking bloodshot.

“You good over there, Cameron?” Kaili inquired, worried that he was about to pass out on her. 

Rafe didn’t say much, he just leaned his body against the fence, using his weight to help keep it shut. Hearing the bus starting to turn around the corner, Rafe stared into Kaili’s eyes as if he wanted to tell her something and she couldn’t guess what was so important that he needed a heart to heart right now. Of course, it should’ve been obvious. He pulled his body away, instead, he leaned against the fence with his arms stretched out in front of him. His eyes never once leaving hers. 

The younger girl remembered everything after that moment. She remembered it clearly, seeing the bite on his arm. Kaili’s heart was beating in her ears as the deafening sound of a sob escaped her mouth but no tears were falling. She didn’t cry right away but her body’s knee jerk reaction was her chest feeling like it caved upon itself. 

She found herself grabbing onto Rafe’s waist as she repeated a plea, a prayer in her mother tongue, anything that she could think of. Her tears staining his top. The taller boy seemed to have it together a lot more than she did at the time because he only used one hand to pull her against him. Their bodies jerking from the zombies pushing against the gate to get to the sound of the human and a half. He squeezed her tightly, trying to stop *her from hyperventilating when it was *him that was a ticking time bomb.

“Get yourself together, Kaili.” His voice broke against her forehead before she pulled herself away from him, trying to catch her breath if the pressure in her chest would ever relieve itself.

“How?” the girl could only breathe out her question. Trying to go back to a moment where she might’ve left him open and how stupid it was that amid a battle no one had thought to defend him, but Rafe just shook his head.

“I fucked up, pushing the zombie off Wheezie, somehow that fucker took a chunk of my skin with him,” the boy said through his teeth then, more surely, “but if it was between me or her. I’m glad it’s me.”

“I love you. I’m sorry I love you,” was all Kaili could say as she shook her head. Somehow feeling that he was only dying because of the powers that be wanted to punish her for loving anyone when the world was collapsing. She found happiness with this group and she was being hurt for it. So, as she looked at him, she kept apologizing for loving him, whether or not Rafe had grasped her words.

Kelce, who found a way to secure the front door, ran to the gate to help the other two. And if Kaili had looked at Kelce right then, she’d have seen the confused look on his face as he watched his best friend touch his girl’s face while she looked to be in distress. The bus finally stopping beside them on the street, Kelce went up to them with the sole purpose to get everyone out of there and back to safety, which Kaili would’ve found admirable. Again, if she had seen Kelce coming towards them. But she didn’t. Kaili only saw Rafe and how the vessels around the bite began to turn blue and then purple as they traveled up his arm. Kelce squeezed behind Kaili and used his weight to support the gate that was threatening to break back open as the zombies started hearing noises.

When Kaili came to, she couldn’t focus on the scene. She knew that Kelce pushed her towards the bus saying something, maybe thinking she’d run off and they would meet up with her later but the girl just stood there. She watched as Rafe leaned over and said something that broke Kelce. Something that made Kelce look at him, even as his body jerked back. Kelce’s jaw set as he ground his teeth and he held back the fence with more conviction.

“Fucking do it! Take my belt, man. You need all the weapons you can get,” Rafe yelled angrily at his best friend, his voice almost drowned out by the snarls but Kelce didn’t make a move. Kaili took a step towards the boys, knowing that there wasn’t much time left to waste as Rafe’s arm and neck turned more and more purple. His pale skin doing nothing to help how grisly the sight looked.

“Go,” Kelce grunted at Kaili, not even looking back at his girl.

“Are you insane?” Rafe snapped at Kelce as if he was growing out a second head. His face contorted to one of disgust.

“You’re my brother. We started this together, we go together.” Kelce said as if his life was just that simple to give up. Kaili narrowed her eyes at his words. Giving his life up that easily in front of someone who was fighting for it almost seemed disrespectful instead of heroic.

“Kelce,” Kaili grabbed his arm, willing the boy away from the fence, knowing that there was nothing left to do at this point, but he wouldn’t budge.

Rafe shook his head at his friend and then turned his reddening eyes to the girl behind them. “Kaili,” he’s begging now, he sounded so tired, “take my weapons belt and the stubborn asshole and...take care of my family, okay?” He asked softly and she knew that he meant she was family, too.

She nodded, numbly. As her arm wrapped around his waist, pulling the belt off the opposite side and slinging it back over her shoulder. Kelce sniffling beside her, shaking his head as he bangs on the fence. He looked as if he was ready to run back in there and kill every last one of them or maybe just open the fence and let them kill him, too. but then he looked back at the bus and then at Rafe as if something snapped within him, he collected himself. 

Rafe kept eye contact with Kaili, “remember what we talked about, okay? I know it’s like a pussy way out but I think— I’m scared of getting ripped apart alive. So give you guys a head start a little and like just shoot me, okay?” And what else could she say? Kaili nodded through the tears that finally came.

“Of course,” as she had mentioned before, when it came down to something like this, she would give him anything that he’d ask her for. She promised him a better death than Wei. She needed to give him something better. 

“I think I kind of deserve, at least, an 8 out of 10 for this one” Rafe chuckled through his tears, trying to lighten the mood or hide his feelings, as always. as Kelce yelled out a “fuck,” and grabbed Rafe from behind his neck, pulling their foreheads to the other.

“I love you, man.”

“I love you,” Rafe rasped. Kelce turned to grab Kaili and began pulling her away but before they were back on the bus Kaili, called back “Rafe! It’s a ten on this one.”

Rafe’s tired bloodshot eyes almost shined with his smile. One that’ll haunt her forever. “Fucking finally.”

Running back onto the bus, Kelce told Topper to drive but the man wouldn’t go. As they got into a whispered argument, Kaili didn’t waste her time, running to the middle of the bus and pushing a stool up towards the hatch that opened to the sniper Rafe helped set up a couple of weeks ago. Hearing Sarah, as she rushed out of the bedroom at the end of the bus asking for Rafe because Wheezie claimed he had been bitten, Kaili climbed through the opening and grabbed the cold metal in her shaking hands. She wiped at her tears, as she looking through the scope, knowing that every second longer that she took was one more that he had to suffer. Finding him through the scope, she saw Rafe gritting his teeth, panic in his eyes as he grows weaker. His body began doing small convulsions and Kaili knew that it was now or never because holding the gate was getting harder for him. He nodded to Kaili’s figure on the bus as if to beg and plead with her to do it now. And so she did, seeing his body hit the ground and the zombies push open the gate, treating him like nothing. She stayed there, her head hung as tears streamed down her cheeks until the echo of the gunshot was the only thing ringing through the air.

tagged: @rafecameron @stargazingstarkey @downbytheouterbanks​ @bedazzledbanks @anxietyandtacos @jellyfishbeansontoast @outerbankslut @bricksatanakinswindow @millyelliot @butgilinsky @spideymyluv @jiaraendgame @thegreatestofheck @cutiecolbsss @starlightstarkey @tomfreakinghollandneedsaoscar @deathcompass @queenk00k @stfukie @rafej-cambanks @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @pankowrudeth

[taetaesbaebaepsae]

Villainous

A/n: This is a commission that spiraled out of control, omg, there’s so much angst and backstory I hope anyone reads this oof

Summary: It infuriates Yoongi, that the hero has something he doesn’t, and he takes it for himself, planning to use you for bait…but he hadn’t counted on how you’d affect him.

Warnings: oh boy, a lot of angst, abandoned boys, a little violence, some involuntary manslaughter (don’t judge listen I love my ragtag villain boys), mention of some emotional abuse, mention of sexual abuse (in a backstory), there’s just a lot going on here, I have 545 ideas for one shots in this universe

Word Count: 4586

He finds out that you're his arch nemesis's new squeeze by accident.

It wasn't as if any of his crew remembered you, he'd made sure of that before he'd gone to prison.

It was the new kid, Jungkook who'd told him, almost as an afterthought. "Shin has a new girl."

Yoongi had been playing cards with Seokjin, appearing to barely listen, but he's hyperfocused, tuning in on everyone's thoughts..

"In his crew?" He asks finally, discarding the 2 of clubs.

"I must be crazy, playing rummy with a mind bender," Seokjin mutters in a disgusted tone.

Yoongi's mouth turns at one corner. "Sometime today, Jeon." He snaps.

"N-no." The kid stutters. "His girl."

Yoongi snorts. "Poor soul."

He's only half paying attention, but then a pair of familiar doe eyes flash through Jungkook's mind, and Yoongi falters, dropping the wrong card in the discard pile.

"Yes!" Seokjin crows, picking it up. Then he narrows his eyes. "Are you letting me win?"

"Shut up," Yoongi mumbles, rubbing at his temples.

He'd been in prison less than six weeks. Less than six weeks, and already….

"Her name is Y/n," Jungkook continues dreamily, and Yoongi barks out a bitter laugh.

It wasn't surprising, how much of you Jungkook had taken in on his short scouting trip. The kid had always had a little crush on you, ever since the first day he joined the crew, when you'd been in the kitchen, and looked back at him over his shoulder.

"You like grilled cheese, kid?" You'd asked, and that'd been it, Jungkook had stars in his eyes every time he looked at you.

Yoongi had thought it was cute, then, but now, it makes his chest tight, makes his stomach roll, how Jungkook is thinking of the outer swell of your breast, your hair bouncing against your throat, and when Jungkook thinks of Shin's big forearm around your waist, Yoongi tosses his cards down on the table.

"Aish!' Seokjin protests, but Yoongi stands, nearly knocking over the chair, and Seokjin clams up.

Jungkook is almost wringing his hands, and Yoongi knows he's worried he's done something wrong, can see it in his thoughts, so he puts a hand on the kid's shoulder.

"New plan. Bring her to me."

***

Jungkook does what he's told. And fast. Of course, that's what he does, he's fast and eager and he'd run the 55 miles from Busan to Daegu in fifteen minutes when he was 14, away from home over some stupid fight with his dad. He'd been too scared and lost to find his way home and Yoongi and Taehyung had found him sniffling in the back alley behind the abandoned building they'd been living in.

It's sad to think about how Jungkook could've just called home, how his parents might have understood and accepted him, but it's not like they don't all have sad stories, Yoongi's crew.

Yoongi had met Taehyung first, in the psych ward when Yoongi had been 10 and Taehyung 8 and he'd been all big eyes and snotty nose, asking Yoongi a hundred questions, holding his hand tight when he realized he could, realized Yoongi could suppress that part of his brain that triggered his super strength. The part of his brain that had let him crush his baby sister when he'd hugged her, when his parents had let them hold her after she came home from the hospital.

Taehyung had never been more than a hundred feet from him ever since, even when Yoongi told him why he was in the psych ward, because he'd written a poem for a girl he liked in school and when she'd laughed in his face he got so mad and humiliated he wished she were dead and then ...she was, from a brain aneurysm, seizing on the floor in front of him.

He'd stopped talking for two years.

They met Jungkook by accident, and when the three of them got raided by Shin and the few boys he'd recruited, when their girl with the banshee powers burst out every window in the building they'd been living in and their invisible boy had stolen all their food and money, Yoongi decided to start his own crew.

Seokjin had been next, in a juvenile detention center because that's where they all ended up, eventually. He was in for arson but the papers said the dorm containing Seokjin, his girlfriend, and his best friend had burnt to ashes, almost like it had been napalmed, with Seokjin escaping without a single burn.

When Jungkook zipped Taehyung and Yoongi inside, the tall, broad shouldered boy had been in a steel room with smoke boiling from under the door.

Luckily, Yoongi knew what part of the brain to suppress and Taehyung could bust the hinges on that steel door and Jungkook was quick enough to whisk them all out of there.

Turns out that girlfriend had been fucking his best friend and Yoongi thought they kind of deserved it, anyway, but it still took months to talk Seokjin into using his powers again.

Then Jungkook told him about this boy he'd met in Busan who he swore had changed his eye and hair color in an instant when they had gotten caught shoplifting.

His name was Jimin and when they found him he'd been on the streets and instead of a boy he'd shifted into a girl, specifically his foster father's dead daughter so that he wouldn't hit him so much. But when he'd come into his bedroom late at night, Jimin had stabbed him in the jugular with a ballpoint pen.

Jimin had been the slowest to trust them but they'd gave him a bed and no one tried to touch him and it was the closest thing he'd ever been offered to home.

Then Hoseok, who'd come right to their door, wearing dark sunglasses and barely making eye contact. He'd seen the papers where they'd had a skirmish with the heroes and fancied himself a villain because he'd come into his powers late, killed his fiancee in her wedding dress when he'd been unable to control his joy and beams of electricity shot from his eyes and stopped her heart.

Hoseok had been difficult at first, breaking down when he clipped a security guard while shooting electricity into the keypad lock, but Yoongi had set him straight with a bitter laugh.

"I killed a fucking nine year old just because I thought about it, Hoseok, and you can't take a fucking security guard with a burn on his arm? Fuck you. You get to wear a fucking pair of sunglasses and forget about it, yeah? I get pissed off at one of you for cheating at rummy and have to focus not to burst a blood vessel in your fucking brain. Tae could kill you during fucking flag football. Seokjin could burn this whole place down if he has a fucking bad dream. Get your shit together."

After that, Hoseok kept his mouth shut, did the exercises to stay focused, quit complaining.

Namjoon was the last to join the crew, having been Shin's biggest weapon for years, ever since Shin had found him sleeping on a park bench in the rain, totally dry because he could control the clouds.

After a big battle in which Namjoon had flooded parts of the city, Yoongi spat out something that made Namjoon think twice about his loyalty to Shin.

"You don't have to steal. You don't have to hurt people," Namjoon had said in his even, calm voice, and Yoongi scoffed.

"At least we only hurt people who deserve it. How many innocents do you think drowned in this flood today, Namjoon? How many in that earthquake last month, trapped under the rubble?"

Namjoon couldn't shake the way it made him feel and he'd gone to Shin, who'd just shrugged.

"Gotta break a few eggs to make an omelette, Joonie."

So Namjoon left, came to Yoongi with intel because people aren't fucking eggs and at least Yoongi could help him focus it with his mindbending.

They'd become more brothers than a crew by the time you came around, and everyone was wary at first because you didn't have any powers.

Yoongi understood but he could read your mind, knew there was no ill intent and maybe he was a little naive to think it would all go smoothly, that Shin wouldn't find out and try to use you.

And use you he did, trying to woo you to his side but you, Yoongi's smart girl, you'd used that to your advantage, batted your doe eyes and pretended to be interested.

Yoongi hadn't liked it, not even a little, had been anxious for you and, if he were honest, a little jealous, when he saw in your mind how you'd smiled and cooed at Shin.

But it got them the right intel for the biggest heist they'd done yet, Shin's personal bank, where the so called "heroes" kept all that money they spent on fucking penthouses and caviar or whatever the fuck they ate.

Yoongi doesn't know where it went wrong but he'd heard sirens and called his crew to him, given himself a nosebleed erasing every memory of you so that no one could beat it out of them.

He'll never forget the way you looked at him, eyes wide, forehead pressed to his.

"Don't, Yoongi. Not me. Don't make me forget you, please."

He'd stroked your hair, twirled a curl between his fingers. "I'll make you remember again, doll. I'll make you remember just as soon as things are safe."

"What if things are never safe, Yoongi?"

He'd smiled at you, kissed you soft, not even realizing his nose was bleeding until he saw the blood smearing your mouth.

He'd watched the light of recognition fade from your eyes, and it'd hurt so much more than he'd expected.

It hurts worse, now, with you panting, your curls sweaty and sticking to your forehead, you banging against the glass and glaring at him with absolutely no recognition at all.

You'd been kicking and screaming when Jungkook brought you in and Yoongi hadn't know what else to do but put you in Tae's room.

The creation of Tae's special room had been necessary after an unfortunate incident with one of Shin's girls a couple of months back, a room that was made of the strongest, reinforced glass, like the glass they used to make shark tanks.

Taehyung was standing next to him, biting his nails down to the quick. "Yoongi...what if I need the room while she's in there?"

Yoongi rolls his head on his shoulders, frustrated. "You won't, Tae."

"You don't know that! I might! What if something happens, like it did with…" He trails off, face almost pained, and Yoongi softens.

"I know. I know, Tae. You don't have to say her name." He takes Taehyung's hand where he's worrying at his cuticles and holds it, squeezes it to ground him.

Taehyung sighs and leans into him a bit, and Yoongi feels a wave of affection for his touch starved friend. 

"I'll calm her down, take her to my room if it comes to that, yeah?"

Taehyung nods, squeezes his hand back so gently anyone but Yoongi might not notice.

Yoongi is watching you, watching you sit down in the one metal chair in the room, crossing your arms over your chest and sulking, and suddenly he wants so badly to tell his best friend. Suddenly he wants his advice, wants to talk things out, ask Taehyung what he should do next.

Something pulls in Yoongi to make you remember, look you in your eyes and watch the light and love come back into them, but another part of him, the cunning part, the villain part, knows that you’ll have intel on Shin, deep intel, things he’d never been able to know before. That intel will hurt, like how you know where Shin’s bedroom is and how he sleeps, how he fucks, probably, and he knows that and if you remember, you’ll know that too, and hide it from him in that little part of your mind you’d created when you’d been together, keep your secrets.

And of course it’s Taehyung he wants to ask, sweet Taehyung, his best friend for all these years, but he also knows Taehyung might not react well to remembering...to knowing someone he trusted with his mind for all these years had altered his memories.

In the end, he decides to start small, to reverse the memories for Taehyung and Namjoon together, so that maybe Namjoon’s calming voice can help him understand.

He knows Namjoon will understand, knows Namjoon will understand more than anyone that sometimes you have to do the wrong thing for the right reasons.

Yoongi calls them both into his office and he hates how nervous Taehyung looks, how he’s fidgeting. Namjoon just stands there, hands behind his back, steady, as always.

“I needed you two because I need your advice...and I want to say I’m sorry that I had to erase your memories.”

Namjoon doesn’t react, but Taehyung blinks, startled.

“You...you did what?”

Yoongi sighs and closes his eyes, turns it back on, focusing on that one section of memory he’d boxed up in each of them, and then Namjoon does react, taking in a sharp breath at the rush of memories.

Taehyung sits down hard in the chair opposite Yoongi��s desk, hands tight on the arms of the chair.

“Tae Tae-” Yoongi stands, comes around the desk. Namjoon looks over at Taehyung, alarm evident on his face.

“Don’t,” he says, voice shaking. “Don’t you fucking touch me, Yoongi, you know better, you know you can’t touch me when I’m…”

“Hey, bubs, it’s okay,” Namjoon says, softly, and Taehyung jerks his gaze to the taller man. 

“Don’t tell me it’s fucking okay, Joon. It’s not okay. Don’t you get it? He’s already in our heads, all the time, and I thought...I thought it was to help us but-”

“It is! It is, Tae, I did it so that they couldn’t get information from you, so that-”

That’s when Taehyung breaks the chair, it bursts under his hands like it’s made of popsicle sticks when he stands up.

“I would never give up one of our own! Never! They’d have to fucking kill me first, and you know that!”

“That’s what I was afraid of,” Yoongi says, softly, and something in Taehyung’s face softens.

Namjoon makes a mistake puts a hand on Taehyung’s shoulder too soon and Yoongi winces when he hears it pop.

Namjoon cries out, but only for a moment, and Taehyung’s face...it’s a knife in Yoongi’s gut, every time this happens.

Taehyung crosses his arms over his chest, trapping his hands under his armpits, shaking all over, and Yoongi comes toward him, trying to find that switch in Taehyung’s brain to calm him but he’s all over the place and he can’t.

“Joonie, I’m sorry,” Taehyung sobs, fat tears streaming down his face. “I’m so sorry.” He looks to Yoongi, eyes wild and wet. “I need the room.”

“Tae, you don’t, we just need to calm down-”

“I need the fucking room!” He yells, and Yoongi nods and leads him there without touching him, feeling like shit for all of this, for any of this. God, it’s so fucked up that he’s able to do any of this, that he’s been given this fucking curse…

And then there’s you, there’s you with your chin jutted out defiantly but he knows you’re scared, can read it in your mind how terrified you are, how Shin’s told you over and over what a monster Yoongi is, how he’ll leave you drooling and helpless with no memories and no way to ever make new ones, and he hates Shin and he hates himself when he hauls you out of there into his bedroom, when you fight him and he has to shove you in the bedroom and lean his back against the door, breathing hard.

Turns out Namjoon’s shoulder isn’t broken, just dislocated, and Hoseok pops it back in while Namjoon bites down on his belt and after that it’s just a handmade sling for a few weeks.

Yoongi thanks God for Hoseok’s EMT training prior to joining, and goes to tell Taehyung the good news, but Taehyung isn’t listening.

He's balled up in the corner of the room and humming to himself, and Yoongi is so fucking tired when he comes to his room that you almost barrel right past him.

He catches you by the shoulders and you struggle and he looks you right in the eye.

"Shin told you what I can do, yeah? You know I could paralyze you with a fucking thought. So calm. Down."

You freeze, and he hates the flash of fear in your eyes but he can still see you back behind your eyes, how you're still defying him even as you sit down on the bed, crossing your arms.

"I'm not telling you anything."

Yoongi fights the smile that tugs at the corner of his mouth. "You don't have to, doll. I can read your mind, you know."

You shake your head. "He taught me how to compartmentalize. Just in case this happened. I can fight you until he gets here."

Yoongi barks out a laugh at that.

"You think he'll come for you?"

Something flashes in your eyes and your lip trembles, just for a second. "H-he loves me."

Yoongi knows that shouldn't make him angry. He knows he did this, that you'd begged him not to and he'd done it anyway but even so blood rushes to his face and he slams his hand down on his nightstand and you flinch.

"Let me tell you something, sweetheart. Shin Junyoung has never loved anything in his whole miserable life except himself. And he never would have had a chance with you if-"

You shake your head, put your hands over your ears. "He loves me and I love him. He loves me and I love him."

You chant it over and over, like a mantra, so much that he can't even read your thoughts and he wants to scream, has to leave the room before he jerks your hands from your ears and makes you remember, breathing hard.

He's fucking mad, he could burst Shin's brain with a single thought right now but there's broken glass in his chest because some part of that was true, he felt it coming off you in waves and every single bit of this was his fault.

He spends the night on the floor next to Taehyung's room with a bottle of bourbon, and wakes up with a pounding headache and Tae knocking on the glass softly.

"I'm ready to come out now," he says hoarsely, eyes red rimmed, and Yoongi's so grateful he feels tears welling in his eyes.

Taehyung cleans up and comes down to breakfast and Namjoon is in the kitchen, pouring coffee with his good arm.

Taehyung takes in a deep breath and leans his head against Namjoon's shoulder, gently.

"I'm sorry," he says softly, brokenly, and Yoongi watches, feeling a wave of affection for his friends, his brothers, when Namjoon flashes a dimpled smile and pats Taehyung on the top of the head.

At breakfast,Yoongi can't eat, feeling like there's rocks in his stomach.

"So, from your drunken ramblings last night, I take it you haven't given her the memories back yet?" Taehyung says, almost casually, popping a slice of bacon into his mouth.

Yoongi shakes his head. "There's so much intel we could get," he mumbles.

"You know if you weren't my best friend, I'd snap you like a twig for saying that."

Yoongi blinks at him, a little shocked.

"I remember everything now, and I know how much she loved you, Yoongi. You're telling me intel on Shin is more important than that?"

Yoongi frowns. "No. No, I just…" he sighs and puts his head on the table. "I just feel like if I don't get something, all of this is for nothing."

"She'd tell you anyway, Yoongi. You know she would."

"Not the good stuff," he mumbles. "Not where he sleeps, or how he sleeps…"

"What, you want her to tell you how he fucks, or…" 

Yoongi lifts his head to glare at his friend, and Taehyung just smiles, lifting an eyebrow.

"Do what you want, bubs, but you're gonna snap and make her remember and it'd be easier if you were calm when you do it."

Taehyung takes his plate to the kitchen and leaves Yoongi alone to think about how the fuck to do any of this.

**

It's not Yoongi but Hoseok who brings you breakfast. In fact, you don't see Yoongi alone for two days.

Shin had told you about all of them, made you read about them, sitting you on his lap with a big binder with blurry photos of them and their powers, their weaknesses.

You never thought much about it, assumed it was for your protection, but the more you're away from him, the more you wonder.

Hoseok's nice to you, has a bright smile when you thank him in a small voice, and were it not for the dark sunglasses and the way he wouldn't meet your eyes, you'd never notice anything out of the ordinary.

The kid, Jungkook, he had been nice too, apologizing over and over for having to hold you tight and restrain you.

It's the shapeshifter, Jimin, or the snake as Shin called him, and Taehyung, the one Shin had said could snap your spine, who bring you lunch.

They sit for a while and talk with you, and you find yourself laughing at something Taehyung said and wondering how this puppy eyed man could be as dangerous as Shin had said.

There's something almost familiar about all of them, and they're all so much more handsome than the blurry pictures had shown, and maybe you felt like you knew them because of how much Shin had forced you to study them but….

Everything was different, here. They all seemed so close, no stiff shoulders and "yes sir, no sir," and even when Yoongi gave an order, they discussed it.

There were times, in that couple of days, when you could have escaped, although you know the kid could catch you easily, or Yoongi could stop your brain from speaking to your muscles, but you don't feel like a prisoner.

You hear arguing amongst them only once, and you think it's the one with the fire, although you don't know why, since you can only hear his voice.

Your ear is pressed up against the door but you can only catch a few words..

"You fucked with our memories? We all-"

Then Yoongi opens the door and you fall forward into his arms, your nose brushing against his.

You can't say why your breath catches in your chest, why his hand smoothing the curls at the back of your head feels so familiar and soothing, but it makes you feel guilty, remembering Shin kissing you goodbye on that last day before he left that you shove him backwards and retreat to the bed.

Yoongi's eyes flash and you think idly that you should be afraid, but you aren't.

"Y/n, I need to tell you something."

This is when it happens. This is when he brainwashes you, this is what Shin had warned you about and he'd told you over and over that if it happened, he'd kill you because you wouldn't be you anymore. Because you wouldn't be his.

You clap your hands over your ears and start the chant again but it's too late, you'd neglected to hide your thoughts and Yoongi climbs onto the bed, taking your hands in his own, glaring at you.

"He said...he said he'd kill you?" His voice is firm but also calm, he isn't raising his voice.

In fact, he hasn't raised his voice to you at all, not like Shin…

You're still spewing out thoughts, you can't help it.

"He yelled at you? Y/n...baby...did he...did he ever hit you?"

Tears are threatening at the backs of your eyes and you shake your head fiercely, trying desperately to stop your thoughts, trying to remember that you love Shin, remembering his eyes and his smile.

Then Yoongi puts his forehead to yours.

"I'm sorry," he says, voice cracking. "I'm so sorry."

You feel something like fingers edging into your mind, and then everything changes.

**

At first, Yoongi is just mad because he's jealous and because he misses you so fucking much, but when he reads your thoughts and you're more afraid of Shin than Yoongi, more afraid of your so called boyfriend than the man you thought kidnapped you, the rage he feels is unbelievable.

If he'd been Seokjin, the whole room would've burst into flames.

But it gives way to sorrow so fast when he sees the tears in your eyes, when he realizes he did this, and he's not even surprised when you remember and burst into tears, pummeling his chest.

"Fuck you, Yoongi! You made me forget! You made me forget you and he-"

He tries to hold you but you push him so hard he almost falls of the bed and eventually he leaves the room, slides down against the door and puts his head in his hands.

He sits there all day, waiting for you, waiting until your thoughts turn from a rolling sea to a calmer lake.

You're sniffling when you open the door and he almost falls backward inside.

"Come and kiss me, you idiot," you say, and your voice is broken and hoarse but it's the most beautiful sound he's ever heard.

Your mouth on his is like coming back home, hands in your curls tight like he'll never let go, and when you murmur his name he feels like his heart will break.

Later, after you're lying with your head on his chest, you tell him everything, even the things he doesn't want to hear, even the things that make his chest ache and his stomach roll and he knows part of you thinks he deserves it for making you forget.

He does, after all, he does deserve it but when he covers his face with his hands after you tell him about the first night Shin got you into his bed, you roll on top of him and move them away, kiss his eyelids where he’s got them screwed shut and his pouty mouth.

“You did this for a reason, yeah? You didn’t want me hurt but you also needed the intel, and I’m giving it to you.”

He’s still pouting when he opens his eyes, but a smile tugs up the corner of his mouth. “You got my intel, all right, my tough girl.”

You smile back at him. “Damn straight, I did. I got everything you need to take him down, and how I did it doesn’t matter, right?”

He nods, smile fading a bit, and then you kiss him again.

“I love you. Even when I thought I loved him, I loved you. You can read my mind to see that’s true.” You say, staring down into his eyes fiercely.

Yoongi searches your face and then smiles. 

“I don’t have to,” he says, and he kisses you over and over until there’s no trace of Shin in your mind at all.

[anna-justice]

Lost or Found - 7

Summary: As Jay, Hailey, Kim, Adam and Kevin start their junior year in the wake of a tragic summer, the past year of their lives comes back to haunt them. If you enjoyed Pretty Little Liars, this is for you! *UPSTEAD/BURZEK High School AU

...

7 - What Hurts the Most ...

Within seconds, a missing persons case turned to homicide, leaving Hailey sitting at her kitchen table in shock. “What?” She stuttered, her aunt and uncle gave her sympathetic looks. 

“We wanted you to hear it from us and not the news.” Trudy explained.

“She’s dead?” Hailey wasn’t sure where reality ended and her imagination began. She had been thinking of theories to explain her disappearance for weeks now, who could have done it, whether or not she was in hiding, even thinking that it was maybe her all along. But never during any of it did she think that Erin was actually dead. “How do they know?” Her voice was quiet, she didn’t recognize herself talking.

Randall sighed, “I don’t have all the information, but from what I heard, they said that the body had been decomposing for a while now. The only way they know it’s her is by an already existing fracture in her left wrist and the fact that the bracelet she was wearing said “Erin” on it.”

“We think you should stay home today, there is no telling who will try to talk to you about all of this.” Hailey nodded, her gaze never lifting above her hands. She wracked her brain for any alternate reality, that this was all a set up and Erin was making the biggest show of her life, but all she could find was worry. Jay. She needed to talk to Jay.

She excused herself from the table and mindlessly headed for the stairs. She pressed the contact and then the call button, he answered on the first ring. 

“Hi.” She said when she heard the line click.

“Can I come over?” She could hear the pain in his voice.

“Of course. I’ll see you in a few minutes.” He hung up without answering and a few minutes later Hailey was answering the front door.

She had never seen him like this. He was swearing sweats and a long sleeve t-shirt, his eyes were bloodshot and Hailey found herself wondering how he got there in one piece. When their gaze met he broke again and Hailey rushed out the door wrapped her arms tightly around him, holding on for dear life. 

It was raining, of course it was, the sound of raindrops hitting the awning above them was white noise. Jay had buried his face in her neck, which to all outside parties, looked extremely uncomfortable given the height difference, but Jay was the most relaxed he had been since he heard what had happened. 

Hailey eventually convinced him to come inside, earning sad looks from Trudy and Randall as she attempted to get him up the stairs. Unlike Hailey, they had known Jay since he was a little boy and watching him in this much pain along with their niece was heartbreaking. 

A little later, Jay sat on the edge of her bed, Erin’s phone in his hands. “She’s dead Hailey.” He said, saying his first words since he arrived. “What is all of this for if she’s dead?” 

Hailey took the phone from him gently, placing it on her night stand. She took a seat next to sit, “I honestly have no idea.” Hailey snuck a glance at him, looking for any signs of him falling apart again. “Are you going to be okay while I change my clothes?” 

Jay nodded slowly and Hailey jumped up to change, heading into her attached bathroom. She wiped a stray tear from her cheek. She couldn’t break down right now, she could do that later, right now he needed her. 

When she exited her bathroom in leggings and an oversized shirt, she found Jay sound asleep on top of her comforter. She sighed and grabbed the extra blanket she kept for cold nights, throwing it over him. Suddenly, Erin’s phone buzzed on her nightstand.

Blocked ID: Don’t believe everything you see on TV, real life is a lot more complicated.

Hailey turned the phone all the way off and put it in the drawer. They needed a stalker free day. She cautiously laid down next to Jay, keeping a safe distance and let sleep consume her once again.

…

Adam saw it on the morning news, and as soon as he did he bolted out his front door. He hadn’t heard from Kim yet and he was hoping he could beat the news there. He knocked frantically on the front door, only to be met with Mrs. Burgess’ sad eyes. 

She gave Adam a kind smile before nodding towards the stairs, giving him the okay to go find Kim. He could hear her sobs before he even made it to her room. He pushed the door open, “Baby?” Kim was sitting on her floor, back against her bed, hugging her knees to her chest. She didn’t even look up at him. Adam sprang into action, he sat down in front of her, placing his hand over hers. Kim cried harder, she had someone there to rely on. 

They stayed there for what seemed like forever, Kim wrapped in Adam’s arms, he even shed a few tears. When she had finally cried herself out, she reluctantly pulled away. “I thought we were going to get her back.” 

“I know.” Adam said.

Kim took in a shaky breath. “What do we do?”

Adam was usually the guy with all the answers, but at this moment he had no idea what to say. He didn’t know how to comfort his girlfriend, he didn’t know how to make it better or how to make it hurt less. It wasn’t a secret that he wasn’t the biggest fan of Erin, he thought she was controlling power hungry. Two of the most important people in his life let their entire world revolve around her. 

Sure, she had her moments, but the majority of the time she was guilting Jay about something or having Kim tag along on her torch trips. It was like Erin was a bright, massive star that was mistaken for the sun, but it wasn’t. So, instead of getting warmth and life, eventually she left you cold and dead inside. 

“I don’t know,” he said honestly. 

Somehow, he got her off the floor and onto her bed.  “Are we going to be okay?” 

Adam wanted to tell her what she wanted to hear, that it was all over and they were safe. But he couldn’t, because Erin was dead and whoever killed her was still out there, and they were coming after them next.

…

The next few days were absolute agony. There was a small service, burying a inhabited casket this time. They had all decided to stay home for a few days, none of them were feeling particularly studios. Hailey had reluctantly given Jay the phone back that night, and it had been silent ever since then.

The gang had decided to get together away from the prying eyes of their parents, which is why they found themselves sitting in the middle of an elementary school playground in the middle of the night. And unfortunately, without any alcohol. 

It had been a laid back night, there was no talk of any stalkers or murderers, and the only words spoken about Erin were fond memories. “I remember this one time freshman year, it was right after we started dating, she insisted that we go to one of those movies in the park, but it was like November so it was freezing!” Jay explained, a smile gracing everyone’s faces. “My mom drove us because she was afraid of Hank scaring me. And then later we were awkward cuddling watching some stupid movie and me getting cocky, I go in for the kiss and then someone coughs behind us. Of course it’s Hank, and I freeze, but do you know what she does? She kisses me!” They all laugh loudly, “I have never been so scared in my life.”

The harsh reality of the situation sets in too quickly, because she was gone and now, he had been way more terrified than he was that night. “I wish I could’ve gotten to know her longer.” Hailey says, breaking the silence. It was true, she and Erin were not that close, but they never really got the chance to be. This whole situation was really awkward for her, she had known Erin, so she felt the loss, but she wasn’t feeling it like any of them. 

“Me too,” Kim said, giving her a kind smile. 

The night proved to be too good to be true and not five minutes laters, Erin’s phone buzzed.

Blocked ID: Did you miss me? It’s the mystery’s turn to be a little less mysterious, spill the beans on why you really came here. It’s time to mourn Hailey’s secrets.  

Hailey’s eyes went wide. “Hailey, what do they mean?” Kim asked.

Hailey could feel her heart ready to leap out of her chest. This could not be happening, she never wanted any of them to know. “Um,” She stuttered, trying to formulate a lie. But it was pointless, she didn’t have a choice.

“Hailey?” She felt her eyes flood with tears, she couldn't bring herself to meet his gaze.

“I-I didn’t want to tell you guys this.” She rushed out, lifting her eyes and letting them shift over the four people in front of her. “Erin was the only one that knew.” A lone tear rolled down her cheek. “I didn’t move here for a change of pace.”

Kevin nodded, “I figured you would have left if you could have, after what happened.” 

Hailey sighed, she might as well start at the beginning. “My dad is not a good guy and after both of my brothers left he got way worse. He would hit my mom and then he started throwing me around to get a rise out of Andrew, he’s 21 now.” Jay sucked in a breath and Kim covered her mouth with her hand, Adam’s arm tightening around her. “After he left, Nick tried to fill his shoes and protect mom and I guess me, and it worked for a while but…” She swallowed hard, fighting back the tears. “He graduated and went off to college and I can’t blame him for wanting to get out of that hell hole. But it was like there was years of pent up aggression because of them and one night my dad just snapped.” She couldn’t hold it back anymore as she relived the worst time of her life. “For months it was just a slap every once and a while or screaming matches, but my dad got really drunk and came home convinced that my mom was cheating on him.” Hailey took a few deep breaths, completely oblivious to Jay’s jaw clenching so hard that it was threatening to break. “I jumped in front of her and he-he put me in the hospital.” She was sobbing, and Kim launched herself out of Adam’s embrace and pulled Hailey into her. 

“I’m so sorry Hailey.” She said into her ear as she cried.

Hailey pulled away, suddenly very aware that everyone was staring at her in disbelief. “Uh, after that, my mom sent me here to live with her sister.” 

“Did she press charges? Did you talk to the police?” Jay questioned, snapping out of his daze. He was angry, too angry for Hailey’s liking. 

Hailey stepped back into Kim. “N-No, she’s still with him.”

“What?” Jay yelled. 

Kevin placed a hand on his back, “Jay, man, chill, she’s okay--”

“No!” He spat, shrugging off his arm. “She’s not okay!” He gestured to Hailey, waving his arms mindlessly through the air. 

“Jay!” Adam shouted, trying to get his best friend’s attention. 

Hailey could feel her breathing speed up, she was panicking and she knew what that meant. “I-I’m sorry, I sh-shouldn’t have, I-I--” She took off running towards where they had parked their cars. 

“Hailey!” Kim called after her but she didn’t stop. 

It was hard to breathe and it wasn’t from the running. She bent over the hood of Adam’s car, praying to anything to make it all stop. Her lungs burned, her chest hurt and she could barely see through the wall of tears. She wanted to come here and never have to think about that night again, but now the few people that she never wanted to tell, knew. And they were already giving her the sad eyes and the pity looks and she wanted to erase all of it. 

A hand touched her shoulder and she shoved it away, screaming as she jumped back. When she recovered enough from the scare to look up she was met with Jay’s glossy eyes. He looked sad, hurt even, she had been afraid of him. She hadn’t flinched or screamed like that in months and his face gave away that he probably knew that. “Hailey, I’m sorry.” He said, his voice breaking off at the end. 

Hailey wiped her hands over her eyes and snifiled, trying to get herself together. “Kev, will you take me home please?” She asked, walking past him.

“Hailey.” Jay said again and the pain in his voice felt like a knife to the chest, but she couldn’t face him right now. 

She got in Kevin’s car without looking back, knowing that if she looked at him she would fall apart all over again. The ride home was silent and long, the only words they exchanged were a simple “goodnight,” as she got out. 

Hailey stood in her bathroom, staring at the shell of a girl looking back at her. She imagined the bruises that once stained her tan skin, the tears began to fall again, but this time she had no one to judge her. She slid down the wall behind her, burying her face in her knees and for the first time since Erin’s funeral, she felt completely alone.

[mysterioh]

The Ignorant Beauty and The Beast of New York - Ch. 13

PAIRING: MOB!STEVE ROGERS X READER

SYNOPSIS: Y/N is an exhausted bio major. Steve is danger with a capital DANGER. She thinks he’s a sarcastic prick with an impressive knowledge of art history. He thinks she’s cute even if she’s only running on one brain cell. All he wants is a single date, but she’s adamant upon denying.

A/N: This one’s for the girls who feel underappreciated. Love you all! 💗 

W/C: ~5k (kinda long this time)

Masterlist

Insert Very Cute Very Soft Title

“He’s so fluffy!” you fawned, squatting down to the dog's level, hands pressed against your cheeks as you looked at the fluffy cotton ball in complete awe.

Lucky sat on his bottom, smiling and panting with his tongue hanging out of his mouth, unaware of the effect he was having on you. He sat relaxed but ready to pounce on Steve if he let him. You squealed, shaking your head back and forth, and the mob men find it amusing.

"Don’t be rude Lucky, shake hands," Steve chuckled behind you.

“Hello, Lucky,” you placed your hand in front of him and he placed his paw on top. “So cute!” you screamed in awe.  Steve pays close attention to the way your fingers sift through his luscious white fur. "Oh my god, you’re so soft!"  

“She really likes Lucky," Bucky chuckled.

“I never knew she could be that nice," Steve shakes his head. His confusion and shock slowly morph into envy by the way you're playing with Lucky. "I can’t believe I’m jealous of a dog.”

“Hey, at least you know she isn’t a gold digger," Sam said. You're too busy with the dog that you don't pay them any mind. "She completely ignored this giant mansion filled with priceless treasures."

"Would you shut up?" Steve asked annoyed. "She's literally right there."

"She's gone, bro," Bucky crossed his arms. "She's not coming back anytime soon."

"You guys are finally here," Nat said, strutting towards them from the hallway. "I was wondering where you were."

You stand up as the redhead walks towards you. "And you brought a friend," she smirks at Steve. He looks away with an irritated blush creeping on his cheeks.

"Hi, I think we met at the restaurant," you extended your hand for a shake. "My name is–"

"Y/N," Nat shakes your hand. "I know. Stevie's told me a lot about you."

Your face flushed warm and you turned towards him with a wicked grin.

"Is that true, Stevie?"

Steve gulps when you tease him, it's like a sweet blaze burning through his veins. Steve's lips form into a pout before clicking his tongue.

"Alright, it ain't that funny," he said pointedly at the three snickering mischievously. "Sam, Bucky, Nat, in my office now," he ordered firmly, but it didn't phase them. "Peter stay here with Y/N."

"Aye, aye, Captain." He saluted.

He walks up to you and scratches the back of his head sheepishly. "I gotta have a quick meeting. If that's okay with you?"

"No problem with me," you shake your head.

Steve smiles brightly. "Thanks, it won't be too long. Make yourself at home," he turned on his heel. "If you need anything just ask Peter."

You chuckled. "Don't worry, I'll be fine, Stevie," you teased.

Steve shakes his head with a blush staining his cheeks. "Stop," he said in an attempt to sound serious but trails off into a flustered chuckle.

You turn to look at Peter. “So what do we do now?”

“I don’t know,” Peter shrugs, “how about we sneak around and do something illegal?”

“In the kingpin’s house?” you smirked. “I love that idea.”

“Great,” he beams, “Let’s—” Peter’s ringtone goes off and digs his hand into his pocket for his phone. He pulls it out and sighs. “It’s my girlfriend.”

“Why must your girlfriend so conveniently call when we are on the brink of a major discovery?”

“I don’t know,” Peter chuckled, “I shall answer and find out,” he takes a skip towards the living room for some privacy, leaving you alone with Lucky.

You crouch down to his level. “Well, Lucky, I suppose our mystery gang is down to two,” you said, cupping his cheeks. “What do we do now? Got any embarrassing pictures of your old man we can go through?”

Lucky barks and rushes off somewhere. He returns not a minute later with a ball in his mouth. He places the ball on the floor in front of you and pants heavily.

“Ball?” you asked, “Are you even allowed to play ball in the house?” You shrugged, taking the ball into your hand. “Well, Steve did say to make ourselves at home. So that means— catch !”

Lucky scrambles after the ball, slipping along the shiny marble floor of the foyer and into the hallway. You wait patiently for him to return, observing the interior of the mansion’s foyer. The house was styled in an old French Country Style with worn and ornamental wooden furnishings and soft tones of warm colors. In the middle of the foyer was the staircase lined with shining mahogany banisters that narrow at the top and grow wide downwards. The walls are decorated with various paintings. All matching perfectly with the decor.

You snorted while placing your hands on your hips. Of course, he’d have paintings in his house. It’s not like he couldn’t afford it.  

You realize that a couple of minutes have passed and Lucky still hadn’t returned with the ball. You walk down the hallway calling Lucky’s name quietly. The low tone of conversation comes from one of the rooms and you tiptoed towards the door, cracked open just enough for a beam of light to peer through.

Crouching against the wall, you crane your neck towards the door to listen to the conversation inside. You were never one to eavesdrop but you had a lot of questions about Steve. A lot of questions he probably wouldn't want to answer.

You squeak at the feel of something soft brush against your leg and turn to find Lucky sitting next to you, ball in mouth. He drops the ball drenched in his slobber into your hand. Slightly disgusted you smiled at him. “Where have you been?” you whispered before turning back inside.

"Those men were either Rumlow or Chicago, we're not exactly sure."

"We'll find out."

"Chill out, Stevie, the girl's fine."

"It's not something to chill out about, Bucky," Steve countered, "She could've gotten hurt."

There's a genuine sound of worry and care in his words and even without taking a peek inside, you imagine what he looks like. Eyebrows knitted loosely in frustration, lips curved downward slightly in anger, jaw ticking, muscles bulging underneath white sleeves pushed up past his elbows, and hands placed flat on his desk as he's hunched over with the most despicable expression on his face. And it's all because of you. For you. You didn't know if it was right or wrong.

Bucky snorted along to the creaking of the chair he was sitting on being balanced on its hind legs. "Not when her prince in shining armor's there to save h–ow! Okay! I'm sorry!" He hollered.

"This isn't a time for jokes, Buck," Nat stated, seriously.

"The clown can't help himself," Sam snickered.

"Screw you, Wilson," Bucky jabbed. Sam was ready to retort but Nat interjected.

"What if it's neither?" Nat proposed. "What if they're all working together?"

"What do you mean?" Bucky asked, clueless. Nat sighed.

"Think about it. The Gambinos work with Lucchese. They're pals. Rumlow’s working with Lucchese and he shows up with this proposition right after Steve decided to nuke the Gambino brothers."

_Wait, nuke who? Nuke as in bomb? He's killing people? _

_All of a sudden, Quentin's highly irritating, fatherly voice twinkles in the back of your head. _

"You mean they're all in this together?" Sam questioned.

"What else am I trying to say?" Nat snapped.

"Woah Sis, better check that attitude," Bucky replied.

"You wanna say that again, Buckethead?" She asked, dangerously low.

Bucky gulps while shaking his head.

"Thought so."

"If they're all working together, who's the head?" Sam said, rubbing his hand across his chin.

"It could be a compromise?" Nat stated. "Working together to take over?"

"No, they ain't that buddy-buddy," Steve counters with a grumble. "There's gotta be one at the top that brought them together."

The room goes silent for a few minutes and you can hear your heartbeat bouncing back and forth between your chest and the wall. Lucky opens his mouth to bark and you quickly cover it with your hands.

"Sshh," you whispered with a finger in front of your lips.

"Hydra," Steve stated and your attention returns to inside.

"What?" Bucky asked incredulously, "there's no way."

"No wait a second," Sam stopped him. "The Gambinos were working with Hydra behind our back. Who's to say Lucchese isn't?"

"Sam's got a point," Nat agreed. "Hydra could be the head. They're covering themselves up with the big guys and those dumbasses are falling for it."

Bucky nodded. "Makes sense. The underdog's taking a chance to make it to the top."

"Well they're messing with the wrong mob," Sam snarled. "We'll show 'em just what we're made of."

"But, we can't afford a war," Bucky reminded, "Not when elections are coming up."

War? What does he mean by that? Does he mean like a GANG WAR? OH GOD, WHAT AM I DOING HERE?

"Bucky's right,” Steve agrees.

"For once," Nat quickly replied, earning a grumble from Bucky.

"Here's what we do," Steve started. You notice just how different he sounds. Stately and somewhat dictating, very serious with speckles of something dark. Something that makes shivers crawl down your spine. He doesn't sound like the Steve you knew.

“We wade this out," he continues, “Let it pass until the elections are over and then we hit ‘em."

"You think T'challa's gonna like that?" Nat asked.

"He will if he wants to keep his ass on that chair," Sam retorts.

"We don't make any moves until the elections pass and he wins," Steve re-stated. "Tell everyone working under you to lay low. No fights. No bullshit," he ordered. "We make 'em feel like it was nothing. Ya hear?"

"Got it," Bucky nodded.

You hear them shuffling inside, chairs being pushed, and steps coming towards the door and take it as your cue to disappear. Quickly picking up Lucky, who's heavier than he looks, you quietly run down the hall just as Bucky opens the door.

"And the girl?" Nat asked while Sam helped her put her coat on.

"What about her?" Steve asked, clearing the papers from his desk.

"If you're gonna keep her around, which you probably are, you have to tell her what she's getting into."

Steve sighs and drops his papers back onto the desk.  

"Nat's right, buddy, she needs to know before it gets worse," Bucky agreed.

"I'll talk to her," Steve responded.

"Tonight?" Nat asked her tone stating that he better say yes.

"Tonight."

A haze of smoke dances underneath dim lights, above and around the round table of Sir Alexander's notorious mobsters.

The thick smell of alcohol and cigars mingled with the aroma of day-old pizza inside of Gino's Pizzeria. A few sat around the table playing cards, laughing raucously at another lewd joke. Others lined the bar with the wall illuminated by speckled bar lights shining through bottles of different hues.

It was always a den of debauchery, alcoholism, and the great unwashed of the town. No one came there with anything wholesome in mind.  

Strucker walks past the men, each of them giving their stalwart a greeting nod or word, and into the back. He opens the door, gaining the attention of the men sitting around the table. They look at him with questioning eyes and he gulps silently. His eyes meet the cold ones of the man at the head of the table, sending a shiver down the grown man's spine. Alexander Pierce, the leader of Hydra.

"He got away," Strucker informed.

"How'd you let that happen?" Pierce asked, tapping his finger against the wooden table.

"It was dark," he said blankly.

"Are you fucking serious?" Rumlow asked incredulously. "He's not serious is he?" He points at Strucker while looking at Zemo.

Zemo sighed, slightly irritated by Rumlow. He's been all night. "With all due respect sir, I told you it would've been a bad move to do this," Zemo told Pierce. "But it's not like anyone listens to me around here," he looks straight at Rumlow.

"What the hell are you looking at me for?" He pointed at himself with both his hands. "I had an idea and you all liked it. How is this solely my fault?"

"Everything you ever come up with goes to shit," Zemo stated flatly. "Now the kingpin knows we're sneaking around."

"They don't know it's us," Rumlow retorted.

"But they know it's someone and most likely you," Zemo said pointedly.

"The boss gave me the okay," Rumlow replied. Zemo always had a way of getting under his skin. "So your opinion doesn't matter."

"After begging like a dog for it," Zemo bites.

Rumlow quickly stands, shaking the table along with him. "You wanna say that again?" He threatens with a grisly voice.

"Rumlow, sit down," Pierce stated calmly, unphased by his outrage, but slightly irritated by the three of them. "Zemo, shut up."

The two follow their stalwart's orders giving each other death stares making the older man sighed deeply like a tired mother.

"The Brooklyn Mob is the biggest force in the city. They've got the biggest territory. The best guys. And all the politicians that can do something," Zemo lists. "They got the mayor. Half the police force on their payroll. The best damn lawyer in the city."

"Nick Fury's getting old. He can't do that forever," Strucker said, lighting a cigarette.

"For old Rogers? I highly doubt it." Rumlow guffaws. "You know how much he gets paid for keeping his ass outta jail?"

"But there's always a weak spot," Pierce pointed out, cigar hanging out the side of his mouth. "No great empire lasts forever. They all have a weakness.” he sits back in his chair, hooking his leg over the other. “All we need to do is find one.”

“How are you going to do that?” Rumlow asked, completely confused. “No Brooklyn mobster is dumb enough to go against the kingpin, not like they want to anyway. They’re the cockiest little shits I’ve ever met.”

Zemo shakes his head. “You’re thinking too outwardly, Rumlow. We need someone on the inside, someone close to ol’ Rogers.”

“You mean like Barnes or Wilson?” Rumlow questioned, incredulously. “Good luck with that Harvard man.” Zemo huffs through his nose with a grimace.

"We need something. Something good,” Pierce told them. “Something that'll make the kingpin fall so far that he'll never get back up."

“I think I have something,” Strucker raises his hand.

“Strucker, be quiet, you don’t even have a brain,” Rumlow shuts him down.

“Honestly listen to me,” he persisted. “There’s some talk going on around the city.”

“Well, are you gonna tell us?” Pierce questioned harshly.

“Apparently, Rogers’ got a girl.”

Rumlow scoffed. “That’s news? Who cares about some chick he’s fucking?”

“No, no this may be something,” Pierce counters and Strucker smiles small. “Rogers is a gentleman. He’s sweet around the ladies.”

“Well, whoop de doo his momma taught him some manners before kicking the bucket. So what?”

“Whoever this girl is,” Strucker started. “She’s important to him. Maybe even more than his damn mob. I mean everyone knows the kingpin doesn’t back out of a fight, but this time he did and wanna know why? Because she was there with him.”

“Who is this girl?” Zemo asked him.

“I don’t know. No one knows,” he shrugs, “Probably a civilian.”

“So what do we do?” Rumlow asks the others. “Go after the girl? Bribe him into it?”

Pierce shakes his head with a frown. “No, I’ll tell you what we’re going to do,” he stood up, looking at his three best.  “Rumlow, you’re gonna stay low.” he pointed at him then at Strucker.

“Strucker, you’re gonna find this girl, get every piece of information you can on her. Every damn thing you hear me?” Strucker nods in haphazard. “But don’t make a move. Not until I say so. This girl may just be what we need,” Pierce smiles devilishly and laughs haughtily.

“And what about me?” Zemo asked with furrowed brows.

“Pack your bags, kid, you’re going on a trip,” he patted him on the shoulder as he walked by.

“What?” he questioned Pierce as he walked away. “Where?”

Pierce stops at the door and turns back with a wicked glint in his eye and the gears in his aged brain concocting a toxic plan.

“Jolly old England!”

“So you live in this huge place all alone?” you asked, sitting on a stool by the kitchen island with Lucky resting on the floor next to you.

The kitchen alone was bigger than your entire apartment complete with granite-topped counters, sparkling clean kitchen items, and that never-ending fridge Bucky was talking about.

"Not really," Steve said, making some coffee. "I've got a penthouse. Smaller. Closer to work. I usually stay there."

"But you're still all alone.”

Steve stops for a second to ruminate on your words. True, he was alone. He didn’t have any family left, except for Lucky. He always tried not to think about it by keeping himself busy, but loneliness had a way of sneaking up on him. He shrugged, pulling out two mugs from the cabinet above him.

"I don't know being alone isn't so bad,” he replied, placing the cups down. “It gives you time to think. About yourself. About what you want in life and what you don't,” You listened while watching him pour some coffee into a mug. “You can use that time to find out something you never knew about yourself."

“I guess,” you replied sheepishly.

He turns with a smile telling you not to feel bad. He places a mug in front of you. "Besides I'm not always alone. I've got my friends."

"Oh yeah,” you chuckled.  “How could I ever forget them? They're kinda hard to miss."

Steve laughs, returning to the counter to get his cup. "Sorry if they're annoying."

"No, they're not annoying,” you shake your head, cupping the mug with both of your hands. "I like them. They seem like a lot of fun."

He snorts. "They can be when they want to."

You take a sip of the hot liquid. A sweet wave of French Vanilla bombards your tastebuds. You notice a yellow sketchbook, sticking out from underneath some junk mail. Without thinking, you pull the book out.

"You draw?"

He turns to see you with his book in your hand. He smiles sheepishly. Why did I leave that there!? "A little,” he replied, turning back to work on his coffee.

"Seems to be more than a little,” you chuckled. "Can I?"

"Hmm, oh yeah sure go ahead,” he said, adding some creamer to his mug. He stops midway when he realizes what book was in your hand. The yellow one. The one no one was supposed to see. Especially the girl who’s picture he drew horribly in it.

He almost drops the creamer as he quickly lunges over the granite top as you turned the page. "W-wait! Not—not that one!" he shouted, as you turned the page to reveal a picture of you. It’s a simple headshot going down to just above your chest.

Steve’s face goes red as half off him lays on top of the table, watching the way you’re looking at the picture he drew. Your eyes move from place to place, taking in every part he drew with attention to detail. Every stroke twisted into a lacy network of pencil lead. The painstaking task of shading to represent the contrast between light and dark. It’s fragile, natural, beautiful in its own way.

It makes you think. How long did he take to make this? How many hours did he erase to get it all right? Every line has been made with care, every stroke with you in mind.

Brushing your fingers along the picture you gasp in awe. "This is me."

"It is," he murmurs. You turn quiet and look at the sketch in wonder. Steve takes your silence as you being weirded out and begins to ramble an excuse.

"I'm really sorry. I just...I don't know what happened to me and I drew this cause I was thinking about you and I know it's really creepy—."

"I like it," you interrupted.

"What?"

"I said I like it. I love it actually," you looked up at him, beaming. "I've never had my portrait done before."

He stands straight and scratches the back of his head still embarrassed. "I'm- um- glad you like it."

"You've really outdone yourself with this. I don't even look this pretty," you remarked.

Steve was taken aback at first then shakes his head with a sad smile.

"I don't–I don't think that at all. I'm still lacking so much. I still can't get that pretty smile of yours right or that sparkle in your eye," lifting up your head, your eyes meet his vibrant, honest ones. "I'll never be able to recreate the things that make you so beautiful.”

Beautiful .

That's something you've never really felt before. Something no one's ever really said before. It's always been the opposite. There are a million flaws you could pick out right there and then, but you take his words as truth.

There's a dry ache in your throat as tears start to bubble at the corners of your eyes. You sniffle as teardrops fall onto the paper.

"What's wrong?" Steve came towards you in a hurry.

You shake your head, wiping away the tears "It's just," you sniffled, rubbing your eye. "No one's ever really said that to me before," you look up with a smile and red eyes. "Sorry, I'm getting your book all wet," you chuckled, avoiding his eyes.

His heart aches at your words, his fingers itching to wrap around you in an embrace. He wants you to feel loved . Feel wanted. He wanted you to know just how beautiful you really were. He wanted you to see yourself the way he saw you.

"That's fine. I don't care," he whispered, gently weaving his hands in yours. "Y/N."

You look up at him and he's left breathless again. To him, you’ve always been an understated beauty. Simple and sweet. Confident and strong. Perhaps that was the reason why your skin glowed. It was your inner beauty that lit your eyes and softened your features.

When you smiled and laughed he couldn’t help but follow along. To be in your company made him feel like he was more than just a mob boss. That he too deserved to be warmed in summer rays regardless of the season.

"You're very beautiful," he repeated and it feels more special the second time.

You chuckle while shaking your head, your hands still in his.

"If you're tryna get in my pants, kingpin, it’s not gonna work," you jabbed playfully.

He rolled his eyes, his lips curling in a playfully peeved grin.

"Can't I say something just for the sake of saying it?"

You smiled sheepishly, slipping off the stool and standing. "I guess you can."

Before he could even say another word, you pull him down to you and kiss him straight on the lips. Not on the cheek. But on the lips and it catches him completely off guard.

It's quick and chaste but it's something Steve's been dreaming of for a long time. Those pretty plump lips against his felt softer than heaven, sweeter than honey. When you part just a split second later, he feels lonely but content with the promise of another meeting.

You giggle sweetly, your breath mingling with his, tickling – teasing his lips to come closer for more.

"I should really get to bed," you said, standing a bit back. "I've got an early class."

"Yeah, of course," he nodded with a beaming smile. "Let me show you to your room."

Pulling you by the hand, he leads you out of the kitchen and towards the staircase. Everything seems so perfect at that moment. The dim light of a chandelier twinkling above, your hand perfectly intertwined in his, and his deep, soothing voice rambling that sounded more like the hazy tune of a sweet melody.

Never in your dreams did you think you'd get to share a moment like this let alone with a man like him. Dangerous for sure, but sweet and humble, generous and caring. All the good things about him seemed to outmatch the one bad thing. So what if he had a bit of notoriety? The world wasn't perfect and neither were you.

Sometimes you find the things you want most in life in the most unexpected of places. You found yours in him. Though small at the moment it could blossom into something more. And for that "what if" you were more than willing to stay.

“I think Lucky wants to sleep with you tonight," Steve chuckles as the puppy pushes his way through the door and your legs.

"I don't mind," you smiled at him making his way to the bed.

You reached on your tiptoes and gave Steve a kiss on the cheek. “Good night.”

Steve smiles sweetly not really wanting to leave. He plants a kiss on your intertwined hand, igniting a blazing fire across the skin of your arm. “Good night," he wishes.

Quentin stood by the science building on campus as he did every day, waiting for you to drag yourself to school like you did every day, but this time he finds something he didn’t expect. His jaw drops at the sight of you driving up in the passenger seat of a sparkling silver Corvette. It’s only until the car stops by him on the side of the curb does he really believe that it’s you.

"Y/N! What are you doing with him?!” he shouted with an accusatory point.  

“Oh, hey Quentin," you got out of the convertible not really paying attention to him. You turn towards Steve. "Thanks for the ride, Steve and for letting me stay.”

“You spent the night with him?!” he hollered, waving his arms around.

“No problem, sweetheart," Steve chuckled sweetly.

“Don’t call her that!” Quentin shouted, standing next to you.

Your eyes are completely fixated on Steve and don't notice Quentin glaring at you. “See ya around sometime?”

“Yeah, I’d love to," the blonde agreed with a smile.

“Stop ignoring me!” Quentin huffed putting his hands on his hips.

“Do you hear that annoying sound or is it just me?” Steve asked, teasingly, earning a giggle in return.

“Y/N, what the hell were you doing with this criminal for an entire night?”

“It’s a long story Quentin I’ll tell you later,” you waved him off.

“I demand to know right now!”

You rolled your eyes with a huff. “I’ll tell you after class," you stated with emphasis.

“Hey,” Steve calls you back. “If anything happens, you call me right away. You hear me?”

“You have his number?” Quentin asked through gritted teeth. He just couldn’t process how you went from hating him two days ago to sleeping over his house.

You smiled with a nod. “Yeah, I’ll tell you don’t worry.” Steve takes your hand and kisses it.

“I’ll see you later then?” he asked again, running his thumb across the ridges of your knuckles and you wanted to melt right there.

“Call me when you’re free,” you told him with a sudden urge to kiss him again. But not right now, Quentin would raise hell if he saw that. As if he wasn’t already.

“What the fuck is happening here?” Quentin questioned. “You stay away from her,” he pointed at the blonde. Steve gave him a snarky smile that said: I do what I want twink ass bitch and it only pisses him off more. “And you stop looking at him like he’s your fucking Romeo.”

“I mean if the job’s open?” Steve shrugged, his Prada sunglasses hanging low on his nose and looking over at you. You chuckled as Quentin pulls you along by the hand.

“It’s not.” he bit back. “So leave before I call the cops.”

You bite your lip, highly tempted to skip class, jump back into his convertible, and have him take you wherever he wants to. Along lone country roads, feeling the wind twirl through your hair as he holds your hand in his, kissing it from time to time as he drives into a tangy orange sunset. You’ll take it one step further, pressing a kiss onto his cheek and along his jaw until you reach those pretty lips.

God, what was happening to you?

"What are you staring at?” Quentin hissed, bringing you back to your senses. He points upward toward the building. “Get your butt up those stairs right now!"

You follow your dad friend up the stairs as he goes off about how out of line you are. You turn around as he pulls you behind him. Your eyes meet Steve’s baby blues, twinkling under the sunlight. You chuckle at him as he waves goodbye.

You press your hands against your lips and send a kiss towards him flamboyantly. He clutches his chest and falls back onto his seat dramatically leaving you a giggly mess. It's a pity that you had to leave so soon.

You shoot one last smile his way before going inside and it's like Cupid's arrow shot him right through the heart.

TAGLIST (OPEN): @ashwarren32 @chuckennuggets1213 @scuzmunkie @siriusement @rootcrop @savedbystark @little-dark-empress @boxofteenageideas @great-goddess-of-sin​ @calwitch​ @achishisha​ @captainchrisstan​ @thirstybunz​ @littlebees-things​ @voltage-my2dlove​ @rinkashirikitateku​ @booktease21​ @harleyscheekheart​ @emptyporsche @imsonick​

[txylorwrjtes]

I’ve got you, sweetheart: Part 1

Pairing: Dean x reader

Warning(s): Mentions of abuse, actual abuse both physical and mentally, angst, crappy stepfather, brainwashed mother 

Character(s): Mary Winchester, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel Novak, OC!Paul Y/L/N, OC!Blayke Y/L/N, Y/N Y/L/N

Summary: Your mother marries an extremely abusive man, who abuses you to the point you get brain damage. You have a hard time with speech and learning all of the things you already learned before, but you have Dean by your side to help you every step of the way.

Word count: 2,515

I’ve got you, sweetheart masterlist

You should have been used to this by now. The pain that you were feeling, you should have known that it would never go away unless you had informed your boyfriend of five years, Dean Winchester and his brother, Sam of what your stepfather was doing to you weekly. It was once a week that your stepfather would beat you to the point where he would leave you bruised. When your old bruises would begin to fade away, he would make sure that there were new ones.

Paul was your stepfather's name. Paul Y/L/N.

Now, Paul wasn't always this way. Of course, he was mentally abusive two months after your mother had started dating him. That's all he ever was. And he was only mentally abusive towards her. And even though he was such an evil man, he still believed in God and how a couple should never live together unless they are married.

You were just barely packing up to move into the bunker your boyfriend and his brother lived in. But of course, all of your plans came crumbling down when Paul had walked into yours and your mother's life.

Your mother was blind, didn't see what he was doing to her and even though you kept trying to get her to see what he was doing to your mother, she still wouldn't see. She wouldn't even listen and they ended up getting married.

That's when he began getting physical. With the both of you. Because he knew he had you both trapped inside of the house you once called a home. You couldn't leave with him in the house, not even to spend an hour with Dean, who began asking questions of what was going down at your house, wondering why you both couldn't see each other. But you brushed it off with a simple lie, knowing that you couldn't tell him anything because you knew it would just anger Paul more when he found out about what all you have told your boyfriend.

Dean was tough, he was protective. Especially when it came to you. Which is why you couldn't tell him anything.

Who knows what would he would do to your stepfather. Or worse, what your stepfather would do to Dean if he threw the first punch. Paul would play victim, accuse Dean of abusing you and have him thrown into jail no matter what you say to try and get him out.

You subconsciously ran the tips of your cold fingers along the big bruise on your side as you entered the bunker. Your mother and Paul had left the house to go to dinner. They would have taken you with, but you put your best acting skills to the test and pretended that you were sick just to get out of going. You knew it would be a risk, but when they had left, you snuck out of the house and ran all the way to the bunker. It was thirty minutes away by foot, but you didn't care. You just needed to see Dean.

As you made your way down the stairs that lead to the map room, you noticed that almost all of the lights were off except for the library. You furrowed your brows as you made your way into the room. The brothers should have been in Dean's mancave by now, watching the Sunday football game and enjoying a couple of beers, so you wondered who was in the library by now.

You made your way further into the room, but stopped in your tracks when you heard a familiar voice speak your name. Although it was familiar, you still jumped when your boyfriends mother, Mary Winchester, had spoke up behind you.

You placed your hand over your beating heart, relieved to know that it wasn't anybody else, knowing very well that Paul and your mother, who's name is Blayke, could've followed you here without you even realizing.

"I'm sorry, I just-.." You found yourself choking up on your words as you let out a breath. Mary gave you a concerned look, stepping closer towards you as your shoulders just started to shake as you sobbed. "I'm sorry." You repeated, covering your face as the tears dripped down your face.

Mary's concern turned to worry as she helped you sit down into one of the chairs. That's when she noticed the bruise on the right side of your face, just below your eye. She noticed that you had tried covering it up with make up, but the make up didn't do you justice, which she was glad about. "Oh, sweetheart." She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth as she gently brushed her fingers along your bruise. You flinched at the touch. "I'm going to get the boys, alright? You just stay here."

So you did just that, watching as she headed out of the library. It's not like you had anywhere else to go. Or that you wanted to go anywhere else. You wanted to be at the bunker, where the safety was in Dean's arms.

It was a few minutes until all three Winchester's came into the library, with Castiel, your angel friend.

"Baby.." You turned your head you heard Dean speak up. He was making his way around the table and to you as you stood onto your feet. He engulfed you into his arms, allowing you to nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck. "I missed you so much. Are you okay?" He questioned you as he pulled away. He cupped your face and examined the bruise on your face. His mother wasn't kidding when she told the boys how bad of a bruise it was. "What happened, who did this to you?"

You inhaled a deep breath as you played with the bracelet around your wrist. You cursed yourself for not covering up your bruise better, but maybe this was a sign. If all four of them knew about what your stepfather was doing, they could all help.

"Paul." You admitted. You watched as Dean's face fell into anger.

”Paul?" Sam repeated the name, curiosity rising in his voice. "As in the man your mom married?"

Biting down on your bottom lip, you nodded your head yes. You heard Dean sigh loudly, bringing his fingers up to his temple to massage it as Castiel came around the table, bringing two fingers to your forehead, he healed you, easing you from the pain your stepfather had given you.

"Sweetheart, why don't you come live with us?" Dean questioned. You turned down moving in with him once before because of Paul's beliefs, but he never knew why.

You shook your head, sitting yourself down onto the table. "I can't.." You said. Dean raised a brow up, wondering why you couldn't move in with him. "Paul believes that it's wrong to move in when you're not married to the person you are with. If I go back home to pack my bags, he'll just start beating me."

"Paul believes in that, yet he's an abusive son of a bitch?!" Dean's voice was growing angrier now as his hands balled up into fists. You could almost see the fire in his eyes. "No, you and I are both going back to your house and we are packing up your things. I will fight him if I have too."

You opened up your mouth to stop your boyfriend, but it was too late as you watched him march out of the library, heading to the garage. You let out a sigh, saying goodbye to the other three all before following Dean out to the garage as you hoped that goodbye wouldn't be for forever.

~~~

Dean pulled the Impala up your house, you could see that your mother and Paul were now standing outside on the front lawn. A look of pure anger was stretched across Paul's face, but that didn't seem to stop Dean from quickly getting out of the car and heading up to the man. A gasp escaped your mouth as you watched him throw a punch directly at his jaw, sending him to the ground.

You got yourself out of the Impala, even though Dean had told you to stay in the car while he went and got all of your stuff out of the house as the Winchester dropped down onto your stepfather and continuously decking the older man in the face. You screamed for him to stop, all though you wanted so badly for him to continue.

You grabbed ahold of Dean's arm and pulled him to his feet. He was breathing heavily from the anger that had been expressed. Your eyes trailed up to Paul's face as he got himself up from the ground. He wiped at his nose, which Dean had made bloody from the constant punches he threw at the man.

"What the hell is your problem, son?" Paul asked, acting as if he had done nothing wrong to anger Dean.

"No, what the hell is your problem?!" Dean yelled at the man, stepping closer towards him. "You laid your hands on my girlfriend, Blayke's blooded daughter. You abused her and left her bruised all over her body!" He pointed out the things that the older man had done to you. You didn't see it coming when He reached his arms out and grabbed Paul by the collar, pulling him dangerously close to him, his eyes burned into his. "And for that, she is coming to live with me, whether you like it or not."

Blayke stepped into the fight, stopping it before it could get any worse as she pushed the men apart. "That's enough, Dean Winchester!" She said. What she said next left you shock. "You're the one who has been constantly beating at our daughter, so do not blame my husband for this!"

"Are you hearing yourself, Blayke?" Dean found himself growing angry with your mother now. He would never lay a hand on you. You and his family knew that he loved you too much to ever hurt you. "Y/N has told me everything! How this bastard" He pointed over towards Paul, "mentally abused you, and then had started physically abusing the both of you when the two of you got married. He's gotten into your fucking head!"

"Nobody has gotten into my head." Blayke said, crossing her arms over her chest as she blatantly lied to protect her abusive husband. You felt tears welling up in your eyes at what she was saying, you couldn't believe it. "I know what you do to my daughter and I do not want you around my house. You come near the three of us again, I will call the cops on your ass. Trust me."

In that moment, you felt your heart sink to your stomach as Dean turned his head back to you. You knew his history with cops, how he constantly got arrested for trying to save the world. But nobody knew that he was a hero. They'd believe your mother and Paul over him at any time. You felt yourself being jerked back to your mom and your stepfather as you watched Dean walk away slowly, as if he didn't want to go, but he had no choice.

You screamed for him to turn around as Paul began dragging you back into the house you didn't want to be trapped in anymore. Your vision blurred with tears as you kicked at the man, punched at him, crying for Dean to come back. This was not what you wanted.

Everything felt like slow motion as you heard the front door slam and the sound of the Impala's engine roaring to life all before it drove away. You felt yourself being dropped to the ground all before you got yourself to your feet and began running to the door. But Paul grabbed ahold of you, dragging you to your room, where you were going to get another beating for getting Dean involved in the mess your stepfather had created.

~~~

It had been an hour of fighting with both your mom and your stepfather, you were screaming at your mom for being the lying bitch that she was, telling her that Paul had gotten inside of her head because that's exactly what happened. And it only angered Paul more as he continued to beat at you.

You let out a cry of pain as you laid on your bedroom floor, holding onto your stomach as he continued to kick at it. They weren't just any kicks, they were kicks out of pure hatred. They were hard and bruising, making you feel as though every bone in your body was broken. You found yourself screaming for Castiel, praying that he could hear you as you curled yourself up into a ball, sobs wracking through your body.

"Oh, shut the fuck up."

Paul practically spit out the words as he did something he wasn't thinking straight of; he kicked you hard in the head. Maybe he was thinking, though, considering how he continued to kick you until you were completely knocked out. All signs of your body not moving as your whole world went black.

And as though it wasn't an issue, the man left your room, doing the mistake of slamming the door shut behind him. That's when Castiel had appeared.

The angel looked down at you. "Y/N." He spoke your name in a whispered tone, hoping you could hear his voice. He hoped you would make movement. But when you didn't, he crouched down and pressed two fingers against the crook of your neck. You were still breathing, but you were unconscious and there was no way he would be able to heal something so severe, considering how his powers were weak at the moment.

So, he did what he could by teleporting you into the backseat of the Impala that was three houses down from yours.

The Winchester brothers both turned to look at you. Dean's heart broke at the sight of you. He had gone to the police station to tell the cops everything, and then went back to the bunker to get his brother and Castiel. He was going to come back and get you with the help of the other two men. He didn't even think this would have happened to you while he did all of this.

"She's still breathing." Castiel informed the brothers when he saw the worried looks stretched across their faces. "But we need to get to the hospital and fast."

Dean nodded his head, turning around slowly in his seat, he gripped tight onto the wheel and let out a breath to keep himself from crying as he began driving, heading the hospital where you would be taken care of. He just hoped it wouldn't be too late.

He somehow felt a bit relieved when he saw red and blue flashing lights appear and a police car turning into the neighborhood, heading to your house to arrest the cruel man you called your stepfather.

~~~

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