#all time travellers are bald i guess

[shockercoco]

Unconventional Confessions

Austin Butler x reader

Warnings - 18+, smut, fingering/fingering in front of mirror, dirty talk, squirting, oh no he's hot!

Word count - 1759

a/n - It took me 30 minutes to choose a gif and I’m still not happy with it lol. Here's the winner of the poll so I hope you enjoy :)

“So, did you enjoy it?” Austin asks you over the commotion in the theater.

Austin had brought you as his date to the premiere of Dune, a new movie he had a part in. As soon as the credits began rolling, everyone in the audience stood up to applaud the performance of the cast members, including you. Although, your applause was targeted more towards Austin and his performance.

You walked into the movie not expecting to find your boyfriend’s character attractive, like you have in the past with his other roles. After all, he played a pale, bald psychotic sadist with black teeth – someone that most people would be disgusted by. 

Not you, though, because as soon as Feyd came on screen you were drawn in, not just because of how good he looked shirtless, but from his strange and deviant behavior. The way he dragged his tongue against his blade, how unsympathetic he was for human life, how he laughed and drooled in the face of danger all weirdly had an affect on you.

 You noticed this when you felt your insides turn, and when you glanced down at your lap you saw that you had unconsciously crossed your legs. You knew how much Austin takes his career seriously and how easily it was for him to immerse himself into his roles, but you never expected this from him.

“I loved it. The sound, the acting, the cinematography – it was all amazing,” you smile as you turn to look up at him. You’ve always had a love for film, and Austin knew this and loved that about you.

A smile forms on Austin’s face at your response as he leans down to hug you and to place a quick kiss on your lips.

The ride back to the hotel was long due to New York traffic, but Austin decided to take this time to pull up the partition and put you into his lap and kiss you. He always did this in the car after an event or party, and each time you would tell him no, given the fact it was dangerous to not have your seatbelt on, but you always end up caving in the end.

You decide to take a shower when you arrive back at the hotel, not only to get clean, but to calm your nerves. After you get out and begin your skin care, Austin enters the bathroom and wraps his arms around you from behind, placing his chin atop your head.

“I know I already asked you if you liked the movie, but what did you think of me?” he asks as he looks at you through the mirror. Austin would always overthink when it came to his acting and would come to you for reassurance.

“You were great, just like you always are,” you tell him as you continue on with your routine.

He groans and gives your hips a squeeze. “Come on, you gotta give me more than that.”

You smile at him through the mirror. “I really enjoyed your performance, given the fact you’ve never done anything like that. You were unrecognizable, and not just because of the makeup,” you laughed,” Your deduction really paid off.”

You watch as Austin beams at your response. “Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“Anything else?” he asks you.

Yes, yes there is.

“Well, I may or may not have found Feyd attractive, even though he’s mentally unstable. Too bad we won’t see him in the next movie.” you fake sadness towards the end. You talk casually as if what you said was minor.

You watch as Austin lights up and lifts his head. He raises his eyebrows with a smirk. “Is that right?”

“Mhm,” you nod your head, “it just sucks that you’re not him.”

And you guess that set him off because next thing you know he’s pulling you even closer into him as he places soft kisses on your neck. You laugh and playfully try to shove him off, but Austin just laughs into your ear and continues as one his hands begins to slowly travel south. When you feel his hand reach the waistband of your pajama shorts you freeze. You look at Austin through the mirror to see that his gaze is already on you, a sly smile showing on his face.

“If you couldn’t tell, I’m a little busy right now,” you joke.

“Oh, don’t stop on my account. Just pretend I’m not even here,” he says without taking his eyes away from yours. You stare back at him for a second before starting the last step of your routine – brushing your teeth. Austin keeps his focus on your face.

Just as you were reaching for your toothbrush, his hand dips inside your shorts and stops when his fingers reach your clit over your underwear. You tightly grip the toothbrush in your hand when you feel his fingers start to lightly rub circles into you through the fabric. You can already feel yourself getting wet from the teasing, warmth pooling in your lower half. As you reach for the toothpaste, he adds more pressure to your clit, and you clench your teeth to keep the sounds in your throat from escaping.

Austin smirks to himself once he notices the tension in your jaw, which you feel as it forms on his lips that are still attached to your neck. When you reach for the toothpaste, he begins to glide his fingers up and down your slit through your underwear, feeling the damp fabric.

As you begin to squeeze the toothpaste on your toothbrush, you feel Austin’s hand quickly dip inside the waistband of your underwear and collect your arousal on his fingers before spreading it through your folds. This time you can’t stop the moan from escaping your lips as your mouth falls open.

“I said don’t stop,” he whispers into your ear and ends the sentence with a kiss behind your ear, causing a shiver to make its way through your body. You look at him in the mirror to see his eyes still on you, feeling another wave of heat run through your body from the eye contact.

You go to squeeze the toothpaste on your toothbrush only to feel Austin shove a finger into your opening. You have to brace yourself against the counter as you feel your walls welcome him in, but Austin keeps his finger still inside of you, waiting for you to continue. 

When you lift the toothbrush to your lips with an unsteady hand, he pushes a second finger into you. Another moan leaves your mouth as you feel yourself stretch around him, and once you feel his fingers move inside you, you immediately drop the toothbrush and toothbrush for it to land in the sink. There’s no way you can carry on now.

Austin laughs at your reaction and continues to thrust his fingers inside of you as he finally lifts his head away from the crease of your neck to fully watch your facial expressions. He gradually increases the speed of his fingers and tightly wraps his unoccupied arm around your waist when you begin to squirm against his front. You feel his hard length against your backside, turning you on even more, but your main focus is the fingers pushing in and out of you with persistence.

You place one hand back on the counter and use the other to cling onto the arm around your waist. You feel your head drop and your eyes squeeze shut as whines fall out of your mouth, but Austin isn’t a fan of this. He removes the arm from your waist and grips your chin, forcing you to look up.

“Keep your eyes open,” he says, and you whine at his words. 

“Austin-” you start, but he cuts you off.

“Keep your eyes open.”

You pry your eyes open and look at the hand moving in your shorts. Austin gives your chin another squeeze and pushes it up for you to look at him through the mirror. He smirks at your present state, and if it wasn’t for him currently pleasing you, you would slap that smirk off his face. He knows you hate prolonged eye contact.

“You fall apart so easily, don’t you?” he asks, and you weren’t aware he wanted you to answer until he repeats, “don’t you?”

“Yes,” you breathe out.

His fingers arrive at that special spongy spot inside of you, making your body jerk and your jaw go slack. He continuously hits the area with precision as he curls his fingers into you. His arm finds its place around your waist again once you start to writhe against him. You squeal as he speeds his fingers up even more, causing wet squelches to fall out of your soaked cunt, the sound echoing in your ears.

You feel the pressure in your quickly building up, and you close your eyes again – it’s taking too much energy to continue holding them open. This time Austin lets you. One of your hands moves down towards his wrist, but he quickly grabs it and holds against you as his arm wraps around you once again. Your thighs squeeze together as the pressure becomes too much and you come closer and closer to your climax, but this doesn’t stop him.

Austin feels your walls tighten and flutter around his fingers, and he does everything to make you fall over the edge. You let out a silent cry as your orgasm makes its way through your limbs.

He continues to push his fingers in and out of you to prolong your pleasure, and you let out a cry as you feel a gush of liquid fall out of you. It soaks your underwear and shorts as it makes its way down your leg. Austin still doesn’t let up on his pace so you go to squeeze his wrist, and he begins to slow his movements.

When he finally stops, he pulls his fingers out of you and brings them up to his mouth to suck the taste of you off. Despite your energy being drained, you still manage to roll your eyes at him.

“Come on, sweetheart, round two in the bedroom. You need to lay down, your legs must be tired from standing,” he smirks and gives you a wink as he backs away from you and heads out the bathroom.

You grab the tube of toothpaste from the sink and chuck it at his head, but you miss, making Austin laugh.

[bigification]

Step Daddy

"You really need to get over your stepdad man." My friend tells me, concerned.

"Look, I'll try this one last thing and if it doesn't work then I'll give it up." I respond. "Did you bring the sunglasses?"

"Yes, but just remember he's like 25 years older than you. He's probably not going to be into you, even after this." He says as he hands me a pair of old pilot shades.

I told him I could let it go, but I can't. I'm just putting all my eggs into this basket, the sunglasses. Apparently they're supposed to transform someone who wears them mentally and physically to match my type. He already is my type, but I guess I wouldn't mind him bulking up a bit and growing some hair. It would be sexy if he got more charming, but he's already charming as it is. I guess there's only one way to find out.

I wait on the living room couch watching tv. He always gets home from work at the same time, so I know he'll be here any minute. I sit and stare at my reflection in the glasses. Am I really ready to change this man's life so drastically. My friend said no one else would take notice of the change, so it'll be like nothing happened. As I'm thinking over it, I hear the roar of his engine from the driveway. I try to calm down, but I can feel my body vibrate from the nerves. The door flies open.

"Hey buddy, hows it goin?" He asks me with his hot southern accent.

"Not bad. By the way, I found these sunglasses lying around, and assumed they were yours." I try to play it cool as I lie to his face.

"Oh, thanks. But these aren't mine." He responds.

"Well you might as well keep em, they don't fit me anyway." I try to convince him to take them without seeming too pushy.

"Well alright, thanks kid." He swipes the glasses and throws them on.

That was easier than I thought. As soon as he put them on, he stopped moving. His jaw slacked as if there was not a thought running through his mind. It started slow, his button up started to look a little bit tighter. His once flat chest started to push against his shirt and the shape of a belly started to show. Then it started to speed up. His chest started to pulse, growing in size with each one. They grew until the button on his collar popped off, then another button popped, then another and another. His juicy pecs flopped down after being released from his shirt. His stomach was next. His midsection widened and his stomach grew into a respectable beer belly, straining against his shirt. It wasn't long before more buttons began to pop, until his shirt was completely open. His arms also looked like they doubled in size, filling out his sleeves with thick muscles.

Next his legs start to look like they're gonna burst out of his dress pants. I can hear the rips ripple through his pants as his thighs grow inside of them. His ass fills out all the space in his pants and proceeds to rip open his fly and snap his belt in half. I can tell his underwear is barely staying in one piece as a large bulge formed in between his legs.

Finally his face begins to change. His once skinny face fills out with fat, giving him a rounder look. I can see that hair is falling out of his hat until he is left completely bald under there. Though in return his clean shaven face grows a bushy beard. But the hair doesn't stop there. It continues down his chest and to his belly, and presumably the rest of his body. He finally regains control of his body. He sighs as he stretched out his arms and cracks his knuckles before looking right at me.

"Come here, son." He says in a deep buttery voice.

A shock travels through my spine as I think he might know what I've done to him.

"What'd I say boy!" He raises his voice.

I jump a bit before I walk closer to him. I realize how imposing he is up close. He must have gotten taller because he seems well over six feet tall now, and at least 250 pounds.

"Daddy had a stressful day, why don't you help him release some tension." He says as he pushes me to my knees.

I blush, this is everything I wanted from this, it just happened so much faster than I thought.

"Don't be shy, boy. This will be our little secret." He says as he pulls his underwear down.

[cosmerelists]

Travel Games that Kaladin and Szeth Should Play on their Big Field Trip

Very serious predictions for Wind and Truth. >.>

1. "I Spy"

In this game, one person tries to guess something that the other person can see based only on its color.

Kaladin: I spy, with my little eye...something white. Szeth: Is it the sheep? Kaladin: Oh, is that what the hairy axehound things are? No. Szeth: Is it...the clouds? Kaladin: No. Szeth: Is it the white part of your collar? Kaladin: No, but it IS something on one of us. Szeth: ... Szeth: Is it my bald head? Kaladin: Yes, good job! Szeth: ... Kaladin: What?

2. "Rock, Rockbud, Chasmfiend"

It's like our "Rock, Paper, Scissors." Rockbud can crack rock, Chasmfiend can eat rockbud, and rock can kill chasmfiend. I'm pretty sure I got the ecology correct.

Szeth: One, two, three...chasmfiend! Kaladin: Storms! I chose rockbud. Szeth: One, two, three...rockbud! Kaladin: Storms! I chose rock. Szeth: One, two, three...rockbud! Kaladin: Gah! I tried rock again! Kaladin: How are you so freakishly good at this?? Szeth: I am a master of human psychology. Kaladin: ...you are? Szeth: [shrugs]

3. "Never Have I Ever"

A game in which you name things you have not done, and the other person must admit if they have.

Kaladin: Never have I ever accepted a Shardblade that's been offered to me. Szeth: I have. Nightblood: Yeah! Me! Szeth: Never have I ever learned the name of my spren. Kaladin: I...have. You don't know your spren's name? Szeth: He is shy.

4. Twenty Questions

A game in which you have to figure out what person, place, or thing the other person has in mind using only 20 yes/no questions.

Szeth: I am thinking of a person. Kaladin: Is it Dalinar? Szeth: ... Szeth: How did you know? Kaladin: I get the vibe that you are thinking about Dalinar 120% of the time. Szeth: You too are a master of human psychology. Kaladin: Sure, let's go with that.

5. "Two Truths and a Lie"

In this game, you say three statements about yourself, two of them true and one of them false. The other person has to guess the lie.

Szeth: I am very good at ice skating, I used to have a pet sheep named Sweep, and I have killed kings at dinner parties more than once. Kaladin: Please tell me the sheep thing is true. Szeth: You are required to guess. Kaladin: Uh...is it a lie that you are good at ice skating? Szeth: No. I am good at ice skating. I did not, however, have a pet sheep named Sweep. Kaladin (muttering): I should have known you lacked whimsy. Szeth: It is your turn. Kaladin: Okay, uh...I once lost Wit's flute, when I told you the Radiants had returned I was talking about of my ass because I had no idea, and I have killed TWO chasmfiends. Szeth: ...I truly hope the second one is the lie because you saying that sent me into a terrible darkness from which I had to laboriously claw my way to the light, causing cracks in my psyche that have never truly healed. Kaladin: ... Kaladin: A-Actually, I've only killed one chasmfiend! Szeth: ... Kaladin: Y-Your turn?

6. "The Alphabet Game"

A game in which you try to name an object for reach letter of the alphabet.

Kaladin: I can't read. Szeth: Well, we tried.

7. "Fortunately / Unfortunately"

A game in which people trade off naming something fortunate or unfortunate about the situation they are jointly creating.

Kaladin: Oh no! A highstorm is coming and we are outside! Szeth: Fortunately, we can both simply fly above the storm. Kaladin: Unfortunately, we just went food shopping and we can't carry all of our purchases with us. Szeth: Fortunately, we can simply lash the groceries into the sky where they will be safe. Kaladin: Unfortunately, the sky eels are hungry and they are eating all of our sky groceries. Szeth: Fortunately, sky eels do not like spicy food so they will not eat much before they give up. Kaladin: Unfortunately, sky eel slobber is gross, and now it's on our food. Szeth: Fortunately, you and I are warriors and Radiants and we will not be put off by something so minor as sky eel slobber. Kaladin: Man, this game is great! I love being pessimistic! Szeth: Let us trade roles next time. I too would enjoy finding the worst in every situation. Kaladin: Maybe we can be friends after all.

[alexanderwales]

I've had a story kicking around in my head for ages where time travel gets invented and a fair number of people decide to make a one-way trip into the past (with branching timelines, so no impact on the present but their absence). One of my problems has been trying to decide how many people would actually find that attractive, and when and where they would choose to go. It's a sociology question, I guess, and I'm not sure I have a good proxy on it.

In the real world, immigration is usually from a place with few opportunities to a place with many opportunities. If you assume that people can time travel as small groups (say, 200 people) with all their belongings, and as much knowledge of the past as possible, then traveling into the past presents an enormous opportunity if the thing you want is either exploitation of that future knowledge or a return to some prior era you have great affection for. Depending on the future these people are coming from, I can see it being attractive, but it also means leaving everyone behind.

So it's poll time!

[celestiamour]

ft. cassandra nova x f! reader — marvel

╰₊✧ surviving in the void isn’t the same as living┊0.6k words

contains: established relationship, angsty, before dp&w, probably ooc & lore inaccurate in so many ways but uhhhhh

➤ author's note: we need more cassandra x reader, she’s the prettiest bald woman

you stare out into the void, a vast desert that’s a mere skeleton of other worlds you used to explore freely, sitting on the ground and enjoying the fleeting breeze. there’s no point in it really, it’s already been burned into your mind long ago. there’s never anything different about the view, just sand and machinery with the occasional variant minion wandering around. despite being at the top of the food chain with cassandra, you feel like you’re only surviving instead of living, scraping by in a dimension that’s essentially a junkyard for discarded souls.  

the faint sound of whistling reached your ears, but you didn’t bother to turn your head and see who was approaching. you don’t need to when this spot was only known by one other person whom you would always sneak off with for moments alone.

“what are you thinking about, love?” she asked, sitting down next to you.

“nothing important,” you sigh. 

she gently nudged you. “come on, don’t make me use my telepathy on you.” it’s a joke, of course. she loves you enough not to do so, a display of trust to show that she won’t violate those boundaries like the first time you met. “tell me what’s going on.”

“it’s just that… don’t you ever want to leave the void and go back to earth?’

she hummed in response, “i guess i never thought about it, but i don’t think so. i can freely be myself and use my powers here while basically being the empress of this realm. i don’t think i want to leave for a place that would only hunt me down when they find that i escaped and banish me again after a few days. and besides,” she affectionately laid her head on your shoulder, “i have you here with me.”

“right, i know that, but… i can’t help but wish that we could be a normal couple, doing normal couple things… like i want to take you on dates at the beach, go to fancy restaurants, introduce you to my remaining family, travel the world to see all its wonders… i treasure what we have right now, but i want to do so much more with you, even if it’s just stereotypical lovey-dovey stuff…” your smile is pained and you worry if you’re being stupid right now. cass seemed perfectly content with how everything was right now, you had no idea if she felt the same way you did. it was a topic that seemed too sensitive to bring up before, but it’s one that was weighing on you constantly these past few days. 

you did have a point though. there isn’t anything really romantic that could be done in the void, nothing aside from physical touch, long talks and walks to nowhere, watching decades-old films on a beat-up television found a while back that barely worked— it was no place where love could flourish when merely existing was difficult enough.

cass looks deeply into your eyes, the bright eyes of her beautiful girlfriend. not even her girlfriend, she thinks of you more like her wife, a soulmate who was gifted to her after years of suffering hidden under layers of her sadistic and mischievous personality. if she was allowed to go back to the world she was ripped away from with you, she would like to marry you properly and put a ring around your finger as a testament to all you both have gone through.

escape was something she barely considered since it was something that seemed so out of reach and impossible, yet seeing the hope in your eyes sparked a light of optimism she hasn’t felt in years. “maybe one day, and we’ll do everything you mentioned and more… even if we are hunted down by the tva the entire time…”

[phoenixyfriend]

Totally the Real Jango

Have another time-travel concept:

Clones go back in time. Run into some Mandos, most probably the Haat'ade. Subsequently LIE THEIR ASSES OFF. Specifically:

Sheer, bald-faced lying that they are are Jango himself from the future, relying on the pronounced age but identical DNA to sell it.

Any questions of fact that they get wrong regarding current and recent status with the Fetts or with Jaster get explained away with 'it was decades ago,' because they look like they're fifty, and this Jango is Twelve or something.

@jebiknights offered:

I can't decide if baby Jango would be really impressed with "older him" or extremely "unimpressed." Also potential hilarity for Jango to be POSITIVE that the person couldn't possibly be him but DNA checks out and all the adults are like "nah Jango is just being a brat."

…technically this only works if there's one clone, unless the second clone is Boba or Omega, or both, posing as Themselves but selling the clone-is-actually-Jango gambit for reasons.

In my mind it's one of the clones that got scarred up enough that if one of Jango's childhood scars is missing, it's explained away with 'well half that leg is synthskin grafts anyway, so who the fuck knows when the small scar got replaced with a Big scar.'

Which is. Most of the clones that survived that long.

So much of the ploy is reliant on Boba feeding information to whichever clone this is (Wolffe or Rex, probably) about his dad in order to sell the bit, but like. IDK why he'd even be cooperating. Just that he is. For the bit. And some scheming.

Boba's already an adult if the clone in question looks fifty or sixty, which means Jango is following him and Omega around with stars in his eyes. Jango thinks future him is scary, but future kids are badass, so he's gotta figure out what kinda cool bounty hunter he can be, even if the future sounds like hell in a handbasket.

But the IMPORTANT PART is that Boba is uncomfortable as hell due to. uh. lying to his dad. and also the fact that bb Jango does not know, at all, how complex all the feelings that he and Omega and the older clone hold towards dead future Jango are.

Jaster is kind of happy/excited to see them all, but the fake future Jango is... not very friendly or familiar with him? Which he's upset by until Boba says "you died when he was fourteen, so um. I never even got to meet you? And I guess he doesn't know how to feel about it" which is a great way to lie with the truth.

I don't want Boba to be too old, but the age difference needs to make sense with how old they look. Early twenties for Boba would be mid-forties for the other clone?

And stress added a bit.

And they can drop the odd joke about how Jango 'aged well' and looks younger than he is.

(If the time-traveller clone is Rex, they are definitely being stalked by a former Jedi who is really weirdly fond of staking out in trees.)

By the time the double aging actually shows, they'll have hopefully come clean and/or skipped town (whatever their actual goal is).

[whydoeseveryonewanttobangchan]

💋 I couldn’t wait to get home to you, touch you, tease you… 💋

✎ Pairing: Chan x reader

✎ Genre: Smut

✎ Summary: Chan gets an undercut. It’s really hot. Like, really really hot.

✎ CW: Some self deprecation, swears, dirty talk, hand job, blow job.

✎ Word count: 1,074

❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥

“Hey, I’m home!”

Chan calls out from the entrance to your apartment, and you hear the door shut behind him.

“I’m in the bedroom!” you call back, still sorting through laundry to wash for the two of you.

He ascends the stairs, quiet thuds on the floor getting louder as he gets closer.

“Hey, cutie,” your boyfriend says from the doorway.

You look like shit, actually. You don’t know when you last showered and your hair is a nest and it’s laundry day, so of course you’re wearing tattered sweatpants from high school. But it’s times like these when he says you’re the most beautiful, so maybe he’s just out of his mind.

“Hey, yourself…” you start, turning away from your pile of clothes to face him, but he looks different than this morning. “Woah… haircut?”

“Yeah,” he replies, running his long fingers through his brown mop, turning his head to show you his new undercut. “You like?”

“Babe, you could be bald and I wouldn’t give a fuck,” you say, standing and reaching for his head to feel the soft strands and freshly shaved underside. “But this… this is great. You look… so good.”

And he does. He’s wearing that crisp, white button-down you got him with the tight jeans he loves. He always manages to look so put together even when he just throws things on. You envy him for it, but hey, he’s with you, so.

“Thank you, I like it too,” he says, leaning in to kiss your forehead. “And now there’s a nice breeze when I’m dancing.”

He shimmies his shoulders, knowing that would make you giggle. And it does — a little. But you’re not feeling playful right now.

Your hand travels down to his crotch, lightly gripping him through his jeans. His pupils dilate and one corner of his mouth curves up in a wicked grin.

“I thought about you all day, you know,” he says softly, slowly.

“You did? What did you think about, exactly?” you ask.

“How I couldn’t wait to get home to you, touch you, tease you.”

“What if I want to do the touching, though? And the sucking, the fucking.”

Chan’s cock hardens in your hand at those words. You tighten your grip on him, and he lets out a soft moan before continuing.

“That works, too. Just tell me what you need from me.”

“I will, don’t worry.”

You wink at him before dropping down to your knees. You undo his belt, pulling the leather through the loops and tossing it behind you. The button is next, then the zipper. His cock reaches out for your touch with every movement, but it’s not time for hands yet.

You pull his jeans down — exerting some effort to get them over his ass — but leave his underwear in place. Your mouth travels to the head of his cock, exhaling warm, wet breaths on his boxer briefs. His whole body quivers, and his hands go straight to your hair, pulling you in closer.

Your mouth is on him, lips opening and closing to kiss his thick shaft through the cotton. You work your way back up to his tip, putting it in your mouth as much as you can.

“Please…” he breathes out, fingers massaging your scalp. His eyes are closed tight and his jaw is clenched. He looks so beautiful like this.

So you oblige, pulling his underwear down and taking him in your mouth, first just to the roof, then all the way to the back of your throat. His hold on your hair is gentle; he’s letting you set the pace.

Your hands go to Chan’s hips, holding him in place as you rock your upper body back and forth, lips pursed tightly around his cock. He sighs and moans and gasps as you go, but continues to rub your head gently, lovingly.

Then his phone rings.

“Shit, fuck, hold on.”

He pulls away and reaches down to grab his phone from the pocket of his jeans on the floor.

“Hey, yeah, is it important? Oh, ok. Yeah, I guess I can talk.”

Sure, let’s see if he can talk.

You quickly wrap your fingers around the base of his dick, directing it back into your mouth. He’s surprised and looks at you with confusion and some alarm, but you’re determined.

So you slowly move your hand up and down his shaft, keeping his tip in your mouth as he tries to concentrate on what the caller has to say.

“Uh… uh huh. Yeah. Yep, that’s fine. That’s… ohhhh…”

He moans into his phone’s mic as you take him all the way in again, your nose pressing against the warm skin just above his cock.

“What? No, sorry, I just walked into a wall. Yeah, a wall. I’m fine. Keep going.”

He looks down at you with a furrowed brow, almost angrily. But you stare back up with those doe eyes and move your head back and forth, and it feels so good he stops protesting, instead focusing on staying quiet this time.

“Sure, sounds great. Yeah, everything. All of it. Perfect. Yeah.”

You pick up the pace, and he clenches his entire face. His fist, his abs, his thighs — everything tightens up as he fights to maintain control.

“Yeah, hey, actually I do have to head out now. We can talk more tomorrow. Perfect, yep. Have a great night, byyyyeeeee…”

He moans the last word and hangs up as fast as he can, tossing his phone on the bed.

“You’re the worst, oh my god. Why did you do that??” he asks.

But you just keep going. Using your tongue and your lips to get him closer and closer to what you want. And then his expression softens as he breathes in deeply, finally allowing himself to relax and feel and enjoy every sensation. He’s a puddle in your hands.

It’s only a few more seconds until he’s coming in your mouth. You maintain eye contact as you swallow everything he gives you, coaxing it down your throat with your tongue.

“God, that was… you are…”

“I know,” you quip after taking him out of your mouth and wiping the spit from your lips and chin. You stand up to plant a kiss on his mouth and reach for his hair again.

“I really do love the undercut, by the way,” you say.

“Yeah, I can tell.”

[rottenpumpkin13]

Out of Context Shit Heard on the SOLDIER floor #4

A portion of these were sent in/inspired by an ask sent by @strawberrysnortshake

Zack: Ironically this isn't the first time I've accidentally eaten chalk.

Angeal: Attention everyone we're now taking votes. Raise your hand if you would sleep with Sephi—I DIDN'T FINISH SAYING HIS NAME PUT YOUR HANDS DOWN.

Kunsel: We're all out of duct tape. Angeal used the last of it to tape Genesis to the ceiling.

Sephiroth: Are you satisfied with your fish sticks, Zackary?

Genesis: Why does it smell like mommy issues in here—oh hi, Sephiroth.

Zack: I'm officially 23% goat milk.

Genesis: Well well well if it isn't my old nemesis, Heterosexuality.

Zack: Aww! 🥰 You're the antichrist!

Cloud: Yeah you're a SOLDIER alright, a sold your ass.

Zack: Where are we supposed to put this giant clown statue?

Lazard: WHY do you have a giant clown statue?

Sephiroth walking towards Genesis's office with a flamethrower: The goddess has had it good for far too long.

Essai: If we all chip in, we can finally buy Kunsel a face.

Genesis: I guess this means that the box labeled used illegal knick-knacks is off limits?

Roche: let's all dance maniacally and pretend we're gay!

Lazard: ANGEAL THAT ELEVATOR IS COMING OUT OF YOUR PAYCHECK!

Sephiroth: Are you, as the kids say, flexing on 'em?

Zack: Does anyone know what happened to my Sephiroth scented candle?

Sephiroth: I'll add murder supplies and can of whipped cream to the shopping list.

Luxiere: Let me guess, nobody cared about your light up sneakers?

Zack: 🎶 We take the pain out of paint 🎶

Roche: Have a slutty, slutty evening, director.

Angeal: Gen, can you let me have a cup of coffee before you start divulging your theories on why Cloud Strife is a time traveler?

Zack: I am going to default dance my way through hell!

Cloud: Cool trick! I'm a wizard now.

Genesis: I will start rumors about your sex life.

Lazard: Sephiroth I can't fire you, but I can mysteriously make sure you go bald.

Kunsel: This is a cave. Nothing really matters.

Sephiroth: how does one acquire a leprechaun? Can you order one online?

Roche: Commander Rhapsodos is so pretty. He reminds me of a prostitute.

Sephiroth: Genesis got me a journal for my birthday. I think I'm supposed to write down my feelings but I don't have enough pages for that.

Kunsel: when will we be free from the chains of foot pictures?

Genesis: If I find drugs in this office I'm confiscating it for my own personal use.

Lazard: Would anyone care to explain why there was a condom filled with grape jelly in the break room?

Zack(drunk): Good evening, my esteemed bastards.

Angeal: Bullying is only allowed on the SOLDIER floor if it makes Genesis cry.

Sephiroth: Mental healthn't.

Kunsel: is anyone here familiar with the concept of witchcraft? we're hexing Commander Rhapsodos at dawn.

Luxiere: Here kitty kitt—Oh that is a huuuge cat—OH IT'S GENERAL SEPHIROTH.

Angeal: Why did you spell salmonella as Sal Minella???? Who's Sal???

Sephiroth, while walking towards his office with an entire pie and a fork: Do not presume to question my actions.

Lazard: If we suffer any more budget cuts we're going to use Zack's hair as a broom.

Sephiroth: Which one of you locked Director Lazard in the Janitor's closet?

Cloud, watching Genesis recite LOVELESS: The evil gay red man is at it again.

[silverofthunder]

☆ tattoo in my mind ☆

Secondo x Copia

1,266 words || tattoo!AU, fluff (in a way), a bit of teasing, flirty Secondo, SFW

i was really pissed off yesterday and wanted to write something controversial, so here we go… obviously, this is an AU and should be treated as such. mistakes are possible as i wrote this so fast.

if this isn’t your jam, don’t read this

this is my way of showing support to those who have been getting some criticism about the things they like (and write about). you do you, you're allowed to enjoy things however you want ♡

Copia felt the nervous sweat on his skin as he finally sat down on the chair, ready to get his first tattoo. The tattoo artist was speaking to him but half of the words seemed to blend into a incoherent mumble as Copia focused his gaze anywhere else but the equipments. He shifted, trying to find a more comfortable position, squeezing his shirt in his fists.

”You ready?”

Copia glanced at the tattoo artist – a lovely woman, who smiled at him kindly – and nodded.

”Yeah.”

He drew in a deep breath, releasing the air slowly and the woman got to work, placing the tattoo machine on his chest. Copia tensed slightly, waiting for the pain but relaxed soon as it wasn’t as bad as he had thought.

The bell rang after a while and Copia’s eyes went to the door, seeing as an bald, older man stepped in. He was wearing only a white tank top and black trousers, and tattoos covered both of his arms, traveling all up to his neck. Copia swallowed as the man’s gaze briefly stopped to him – he looked a bit grumpy and the odd contact lense in his other eye only highlighted it.

”Nice to see you again, Secondo.” Another tattoo artist came from the back room, greeting the man. Copia watched as the man just nodded, walking straight to the chair on the opposite of Copia as the tattoo artist followed him. Copia’s eyes were glued to the man – he had obviously spent several hours under the needle as he was basically now a canvas filled with ink.

The man’s gaze found Copia’s again, the expression on his face staying grumpy as his eyes traveled to Copia’s bare chest. Copia swallowed again, now tearing his gaze away, feeling the heat rising to his cheeks.

Oh fuck. Of course something like this would happen to him even in a tattoo shop. Every time some hot guy would even look at him, he would turn into a blushing mess. A string of curses run through his head as he fiddled with his shirt and then he heard a low, quiet chuckle coming from where the man was.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

”First time is always the hardest.”

Copia’s gaze moved back to the man – he was still looking at him but this time he had the tiniest of smirks on his lips and Copia could feel his blush deepen as he mumbled something that probably wasn’t even a word. The man looked amused and Copia had a hard time staying still but somehow he managed to do so. It wouldn’t be nice if his tattoo ended up being messed up.

”Be careful, soon you might end up getting covered in tattoos.”

Copia blinked, his brain completely short circuiting for a moment. And then he heard that low chuckle again and the sound of it seemed to reach deep and Copia felt like he could melt on the spot.

Fuck.

”Secondo, please, don’t tease my customer,” Copia’s tattoo artist said. However, there wasn’t real annoyance in her voice.

Secondo just gave a slight shake of head, a small smirk still on his lips.

”I was just stating what might happen.”

”I don’t think I will take that many tattoos,” Copia stated, not really knowing how he managed to get anything sensible out.

Secondo’s brow quirked up.

”But you’re planning taking more?”

”Yeah, I guess,” Copia answered.

Secondo then made a face and Copia moved his gaze for the first time from the man’s face to his hand that was getting tattoeed. Or more specifically, his fingers. That must have hurt. But it wasn’t like the man had much other choices to take a tattoo on his upper body. And Copia couldn’t really see that he would tattoo his bald head first, though the man probably would pull that off, too.

Copia dared to take a look at his tattoo, the black ink now adorning his chest. It wasn’t anything big or complicated and it seemed that soon it would be finished for which he was glad of. He really could use some fresh air and technically he could have asked for a break but he didn’t dare as he didn’t want to make himself seem silly.

Luckily for him, the time went fast and Copia was ready to pay and leave. He could feel Secondo’s gaze on him as he walked to the counter. After paying he got a instructions of how to take care of the tattoo until it was healed and after the last thank yous and good day wishes he headed to the door and stepped out of the shop.

He didn’t get very far when he heard a familiar voice and stopped right in his tracks, turning slowly around. Secondo was standing close to the door of the shop and Copia raised his brows as he walked to him.

”Yes?”

Secondo shifted, clearing his throat, then moving his hand behind his neck and for a moment he looked like he wasn’t sure what he was doing. Copia offered him a small smile, trying his best at ignoring the way his heart made little jumps in his chest as he waited for Secondo to speak.

”Uh, I’m not good at this shit…” the man started, shifting nervously. ”Would you want to… go out with me?”

Secondo lowered his gaze and Copia blinked as the words slowly sunk in, though he still needed to pinch himself to make sure that he wasn’t just dreaming or something. No, he was wide awake and this was real. And the hot guy had just asked him out. Copia felt the way too familiar burn on his cheeks and let out a tiny, nervous laugh.

”Yes,” Copia answered, and Secondo let out a sigh, the tension leaving his body as his gaze met Copia’s again.

”Great,” Secondo stated and dropped his hand from his neck and put it into his pocket, taking then his phone out. ”Give me your number.”

Copia had to take a moment to think what his number was as the whole situation was really messing with his rational thinking – which was nothing new of course. As he eventually remembered the number, he said it slowly to Secondo.

”Uh, I don’t think I caught your name.”

”Oh, it’s Copia.”

”Copia,” Secondo repeated and Copia nodded, watching as the man typed it down and then saved his number. After that Secondo put his phone back into his pocket and awkwardly motioned towards the door of the tattoo shop.

”I have to go back but I guess we’ll see soon.”

”Yeah,” Copia stated, trying his best to smile. Secondo flashed him a crooked smile and nodded and then opened the door, going back into the tattoo shop. Copia stared at the door in awe for a while before shaking his head and turning on his heels. While he started walking away, a smile rose to his lips and his heart was fluttering in his chest, the excitement bubbling at the bottom of his stomach.

It was still kind of hard to realize what had happened but Copia certainly had no complains. Though there still was that little thought in the back of his mind, reminding him that asking out and actually having the date was a different thing.

Secondo might even not show up when they eventually would be supposed to meet but Copia didn’t want to worry about it now. This little moment of enthusiasm he now felt would surely keep him going for a few days and it was all that mattered.

[superscourge]

Hai!

Just a question. What difference does it make if the Ruby is placed in Infinites eye instead of his chest? Does he get new abilities? Maybe this has been explained before and I didn't see.

Also poor fella. He's giving up his body parts for a ruby. Thats a lil insane. doesn't he think he's going too far? Kinda shows how power hungry he is. And does Scourge ever question the massive scar thats on his chest? Or asks Infinite why he wears that cloth around his face and is curious to what he looks like underneath? My dawg has an X shaped bald spot😔

-SillyAnon☆

i dont think ive mentioned it yet !!!

so as the au has developed, the one who brought infinite back was actually eggman nega, who had heard about him via silver (eavesdropping/spying) after some time travel shenanigans i guess. nega found a way to revive infinte and aimed to sort of "remake" him for his own purposes, so he removed the ruby from his chest and basically started over. he was the one who removed infinite's eye--it was blind anyway--and replaced it with the smaller version of the ruby, which had been modified. unfortunately scourge broke him out before the process was finished, so infinite doesnt really have full control over the ruby anymore, and it actually fucks with him all the time--sometimes it even acts on its own and creates terrible illusions for both him and those within a certain radius around him. my friend who ive been developing the au with call it his trauma aoe LMFAO

[adm-starblitzsteel-4305]

NGL but...

Since this month is MerMay (I was hoping to draw Mermaid!Mothra, but I'm running out of time 😭), I have a crazy idea running my mind...

P.S. This might be the most funniest (shittiest) Kongzilla fic IDK why I should pull this...🙃

So it starts here...

What if after Godzilla consumes a lot of Tiamat's radiation on her lair and after a battle between the icy grandma and the bald tyrant son-of-a-bitch together with Kong on his side and went home to his coliseum to sleep, he woke up the next day finding his lower half of his own body is replaced by Tiamat's other half of her body?!?!

Now I imagine himself struggling to get up, even destroying half of the human population and the buildings before he managed to reach the sea and swims deeper and guess what? HE FUCKING SWEARS FOR ABOUT WHOLE HOURS.

Tiamat's (and even Scylla's) spirit is seen laughing her (their) ass off because she believes that Tiamat's lair might have laid "a curse" on his act for handing over her lair and the radiation reserves, and an attempt murder yeeesh. Godzilla can't sense because they were dead duh.

Then Godzilla travels back to his old home and goes into one of the Hollow Earth's portal in order to stop this "abominational curse".

Once there, he met Suko while on a hunting trip looking for food. The little ape was flabbergast yet he even laughed at him before Godzilla threatens him to incinerate or his kind, so Suko reluctantly guides the King of the Monsters to the newly built place for the Great Apes where Kong - now King Kong - is their new leader.

Once there, Kong was shocked to see him in his "not so normal state". Most of the Apes are seen snickering while others cannot hold on their laughters, and a few were scared because of his past actions that happened during the war of his and Skar King's history.

While even Kong cannot help but feel empathy of his former-enemy-turned-friend, he decided to seek Mothra out for help. He leaves his kind behind with only Suko and Shimo to guard them down while the two are travelling miles away.

There will be some scenes like Godzilla 'trips' himself right in front of Kong's chest, and Kong was like "WTF bro?! Why're you looking at me?!"; the two eating from their meals they had just hunting down and when their hands touched one another from trying to get that food, they stared like few minutes before breaking their sight out; Kong soothing Godzilla down after having nightmares of his father's death from the MUTOs; both talking about their lives from worse to better; friendship stronger; Godzilla admiring the Hollow Earth and how Mothra had fully evolved into her Rebirth form; etc.

Slowburn Kongzilla was there...

As the two reached from the Iwi borders, Mothra appears to them in the crystal-like temple (Jia, Ilene Andrews, the Iwi Queen, Trapper and Bernie were there; and I cannot imagine about them were flabbergasted about Godzilla's sudden appearance). Godzilla was happy to see her, and Mothra reveals that Tiamat's power has something to do with his form changing. The only way to break out this abominational curse is to "profess your former enemy's self-hatred."

Well, Godzilla already knew that, he cannot but least he told Mothra that he loved her very much, and the moth half-jokingly tells him he is BISEXUAL, I swear Godzilla dislikes that because he is a STRAIGHT MAN, but Mothra knew it otherwise because she can read his mind.

So anyway, Godzilla leaves, but Kong and Mothra follows him. Then there will be arguments, and Godzilla finally had enough. He confessed his feelings for Kong, and Kong was stood still in silence, but he feared about the Queen of the Monsters and Defender of the Iwi Tribe will beat him. However, Mothra never shows anger, but was simply proud about regaining their friendship and allied one another, most of all, feelings~

So the two male Alphas held their hands each other, finally professing their love...and THEY KISS~

...And Godzilla woke up with a loud scream, finding himself back to his cozy 'bed'. Mothra was there cuddling to her husband and just woke up from his scream. Then the King checks himself and his body, only to find out he's back to his normal body. He is happy yet scared about that shit until his wife calms him down, saying it's just a dream and nothing else. Godzilla couldn't help but feels his guts wanted to vomit out butterflies all because he will NEVER EVER gonna accept the fact about his relationship to Kong...

When Mothra falls asleep, Godzilla couldn't help but feels something was off to his matters.

"...Maybe this dream wasn't so real after all...or Kong's not really bad too."

THAT'S ALL FOR KONGZILLA SHORT FIC. 🤫

@sassyassblog

[sollucets]

as a tiny prompt: aye wearing akks clothes (maybe an iconic tank top that's a bit too big on him) and akk feeling a certain way

hi nonny i am at last back at it again. thank you for your patience! ✨i think akk's more iconic of his 2 tank tops is definitely the teal one

we are in the post-os2 long-distance akkaye timeline again; 1.2k, rated t for they're kissing

💜

It’s well into the afternoon when Akk finally hears the telltale sound of movement in his bed. His desk, across his dorm room, faces away, and he doesn’t bother turning from the chair to look. It’s going to take Aye a little while to actually wake up, and the last Akk had seen he’d been sprawled face-down across the pillows, taking up nearly all the room in an already too-small bed. 

So instead, he keeps writing, the little scratching noise of his pen the only sound in the room. Akk usually works with something playing in the background, but he’d forgone music in deference to Aye’s recovery from nineteen hours of air travel. He’s also not really working, not so soon after the end of term; he sets back to writing in his journal, content enough to wait just a little longer. 

Like he’d expected, it’s a while before he hears the telltale groaning of Aye actually getting up. He resists the urge to look for a while, but eventually turns to glance over his shoulder and catches the bathroom door closing, hears the sink turn on. He smiles. 

A few minutes later, he again doesn’t look up when the door opens and Aye’s arms loop around him from behind, a chin digging into his shoulder. 

“Good afternoon,” Akk says mildly, gently leaning the side of his head against his boyfriend’s. 

Aye whines, incoherent, and squeezes around Akk’s shoulders. He smells like toothpaste. 

“That bad, huh?”

“What time is it,” Aye mumbles, almost directly against Akk’s ear. 

“It’s half past two, and I probably should’ve woken you up earlier. The jet lag isn’t going to get any better like this.”

Aye lets out a muffled groan and drops his face into Akk’s shoulder, breath warm against the skin. He has to be leaning over the back of the desk chair, and it can’t be comfortable, but he’s clinging so thoroughly it’d be hard to detach him. He says something, barely audible. 

“What?” 

“What are you doing?” Aye enunciates more clearly, sounding both definitely still sleepy and distinctly pouty. Akk can feel his lips moving. “Pay attention to me.”

“I’m journaling,” Akk answers, laughing a little. Deliberately, he adds another word. 

“What happened to my cute boyfriend from yesterday who missed me so much he cried at the airport?” 

“Your cute boyfriend from yesterday had to carry you inside from the car and as such doesn’t miss you anymore,” Akk answers primly, holding in a laugh. “Also, you cried too.”

“You just called yourself cute,” Aye says, sighing dreamily. “You should write it in your journal. This is a historic moment.”

“Shut up.”

Aye scoffs theatrically. “Listen to you. I’m never so mean.” 

Akk pointedly gets another two words written down and very generously doesn’t refute Aye’s bald-faced lie. “I’m not mean. I let you sleep in, didn’t I? And I made lunch, but it’s in the minifridge now.”

Against his shoulder, Aye’s lips curve first into a smile and then into a kiss. 

Akk melts a little. He hadn’t known, really, how much he missed this. He thought he knew, but he didn’t. 

“You made lunch for me?” Aye asks, sounding delighted despite how he’s pulling his arms away. “I guess I can forgive you then. I am hungry.”

Akk spins in his chair, glancing up. “We can—“ he starts, before the words catch in his throat. 

Aye’s hair is down, soft and in his eyes. That’s the first blow. The second is his bare legs, the edges of boxers just barely visible under the hem of the third shot directly to the heart, one of Akk’s tank tops. 

On Akk, it’s already oversized, and on Aye the effect is worse. He can see the curve of Aye’s waist where the side hangs open, paler than the rest of his skin. It contrasts prettily against the blue-green of Akk’s shirt. His eyes stick there, tracing the shape of it over and over until without his conscious input he reaches out and curls his fingers around that waist, tugging Aye abruptly forward into his lap. 

Aye makes a cut-off little noise of surprise, just barely getting his legs to the side in time. His skin under Akk’s hand is warm and soft and his weight in Akk’s lap is familiar even after all these months away, and his mouth is still in a cute little ‘o’ of surprise. 

He rallies quickly, though, and that ‘o’ morphs into the cat smile Aye wears only at his most self-satisfied. Leaning forward to keep his balance, he sets his hands lightly on Akk’s chest and says, a laugh in his voice, “Does my cute boyfriend still miss me after all?”

Blinking a couple times and valiantly fighting the urge to dig his nails in, Akk says, “You’re wearing my shirt.”

It’s hardly the first time. Aye loves stealing Akk’s clothes, and he’s seen it before — but the combination of all that skin and Aye soft and real and in his room and his shirt and now his lap is doing something to him. Aye’s here to steal his clothes again, here and tangible in his arms. 

“So I am. Most of mine are still in my bags.” Aye’s tone is fond as he stares down at whatever dumbstruck expression Akk is wearing, but it goes darker as he asks, “Do you like that?” 

Akk tries to drag his eyes up through the sea of radio static that his higher thought processes have become, but before his face is another stopping point; his collarbone, visible from the drape of the tank top and sadly unmarked. His left hand comes up until his thumb can run over that exposed skin.

He feels more than hears Aye take a breath in, and lets his fingers follow the motion up the column of his throat. It vibrates as Aye says, a little shakily, “I guess that answers that question.”

Akk, who would usually roll his eyes but is distracted by the way Aye licks his lips after speaking, finishes the journey to curl his hand around the back of Aye’s neck and pull him down. Aye goes easily, melting into the kiss with a sigh that Akk has heard a million times and also not in months. They’d kissed last night, brief and soft and clumsy with sleep once he’d finally gotten Aye into the safety of their dorm, but not like this. 

No, not like this at all; he feels teeth against his upper lip. Aye’s hands leave his chest to wander down to his waist then back up to his shoulders and cling there, squeezing pressure through fabric. It feels a little like Aye might understand it, like he might get the ache in Akk’s hands and heart to hold him as close as possible. Akk makes a soft noise into his mouth, shifting in the chair, and they break apart for a moment, just far enough that their noses still touch. 

“So,” asks Aye, breathy but still somehow infuriatingly smug, “Do you want me to keep it on, or take it off?” 

In retaliation, Akk summons all his willpower and says, “I thought you were hungry.”

Aye leans in again, close enough that their lips brush, and whispers, “Shut up.” 

[tartrat]

August Just Dance plus Drop review i guess. Have to do something to pass the time until the nintendo partner direct to see if there will be more songs revealed for jd2025. Might do this for the song drops. Also would anyone know how to take a screen shot from in game, i've tried looking it up but it seems like you can't unless there's another way to do it.

You spin me round (Like A Record): Honestly, one of my favourites from jd2015. Back in september of 2020 i played this one a lot on unlimited. Just a really fun one.

Don't Worry: Before this i only ever watched youtube gameplays, and forgot about it when i got unlimited. Cool but not much else. It does show how they had ideas for the danceverses all the way back in 2017. Coincidentally Jerky Jessy plays both Wanderlust and the guy in the silver suit. Maybe its his duty to play interdimensional travellers or something.

Summer (Classic): I'd say that this is my second favourite from this batch. Fitting for the end of summer and still fast and fun. However all i can think about is how Sky tv used this song in their ads all the time back in 2015, and that's all i'll associate this song with. That and the meme from 2022.

Moves Like Jagger: Guy on the cover looks like Mr Schuester from glee but bald. Eh just a typical JD4 map nothing really stands out to me. I think the scoring is a bit janky, which is weird because the scoring on all the other legacy songs that have been added this year have been great. Maybe its just a skill issue on my part, Do people still say that?

Surprised that they didn't add Summer's sweat version, but maybe that's for the best. When it eventually gets added the scoring on it will be better like Maneater's, hopefully.

It was over for Moves Like jagger the minute they decided to add You Spin me Right round along side it.

final ranking

1 You Spin me Right Round (Like A Record).

2 Summer (Classic).

3 Don't Worry.

4 Moves Like Jagger.

Here are the scores i got for each (Summer is top Left, its the only one that got the song title cut off when i took the photo) :

[oneatlatime]

The Boy in the Iceberg

58 seconds in and I can already see why people say this show is gorgeous. Look at those colours! Although the double image around some of the line art is distracting.

Can water do that? Just have random fast currents in an otherwise pretty still ocean? Also, Catara couldn't have grabbed a spare paddle and helped? Actually they seemed screwed anyway. If they were going any faster they probably would have landed harder, or not on ice at all.

Judging by Sokka's lack of reaction to Catara's temper tantrum, I'd say she has that exact rant at least three times a week.

It's a face!

Maybe the giant orb created the current to summon them there?

Catara has no self-preservation instincts at all. Giant glowy orb washed up in front of you, don't poke it!

Tiger seals.

Solitaire. Neat.

That haircut is not good. Also a very unique choice for a voice. Wait this is Zuko? The guy everyone's obsessed with?

I love Appa already.

"this is Catara, my flying sister." A man after my own heart.

They really would have been stuck without Aang to offer a ride. What was their plan to get home?

Zuko is a prince? Hunting the avatar to reclaim his honour. Not sure how those two go together but ok. I guess 100 years ago the avatar stole a time-travelling Zuko's honour.

Appa can swim through the night? Why does he have six legs?

I didn't know this was a dream sequence at first and I was wondering where Sokka and Catara were. For future reference: dreams are brown.

Aang should have frozen to death by now. That's nowhere near enough clothes. And Catara can't be only just noticing the blue lines now.

Seems like the village has hit a rough patch.

If this is how catara reacts to a bald child, she's gonna spontaneously combust the first time she meets a teenage boy who isn't her brother. And how is an air bender going to teach her water bending?

Between the Appa snot and the watchtower gag, I sense Sokka will become the butt of many jokes.

You know, if you want him to actually learn, maybe tell him what he did wrong rather than reciting philosophical stuff and then shooting fire at his face? His presumably scarred face? Scarred presumably by fire? Kudos to Zuko for not flinching.

Is there a stick in Zuko's hair that's supporting it upright or does his hair just do that? Does Zuko have Pippi Longstocking hair? Speaking of hair, why does Catara have her hair like that? Surely that gets in the way of seeing stuff? It does look good when her hood is up though.

Good sneaky exposition dump Zuko. Didn't notice it until I thought about it after.

There's something hilarious yet tragic about Sokka spouting the wartime equivalent of live laugh love quotes and losing the battle with potty breaks. He has no idea what he's talking about but he believes in what he's saying so much.

Did Aang spend an hour in there?!?

So pretty.

Appa has six legs and penguins have four wings. Is the rule in this show that animals have 50% more appendages?

Last airbender smothered by penguins, more at 11.

"I haven't done this since I was a kid!" "You still are a kid!" That line feels like something that's going to come back.

Was the whole 'being a bender is showing no fear' or however that line went actually about bending, or do you really just want to explore the ship, Aang?

Gerbils at the south pole?

Would the fire nation send people back to rig a lost ship or are all fire nation ships rigged at all times and the crews are just used to working around the traps? Actually that would be a great way to catch spies.

I would jump to brain-damage induced amnesia from being trapped in an iceberg for a few hours before I'd ever think of a century long cryo-sleep. "it's the only explanation." Really?

All of these backgrounds are so pretty.

Air bending gets you some serious air. Those hops are stupid big, even accounting for cartoon physics.

I really like the end credits music. And according to the credits, I've been mispelling Katara's name this whole time.

Some final thoughts:

Katara (with a K) is too idealistic and trusting and Sokka is too cynical and suspicious. A perfect sibling pair. Also I love Sokka's sense of humour.

I like Aang's specific flavour of goofiness. He seems secure in himself and genuine. He has attention issues though.

Appa is a sea bison actually. Common misconception.

I like that they introduce the antagonist like 10 minutes into the first episode, but they're going to have to flesh him out way more before I read Zuko as anything other than an asshole. Also the voice is going to take a while to get used to. It's not that it doesn't fit the character design, it's just that I've never heard an actual human talk like that naturally. It's kind of muppet-like. Maybe he damaged his throat when he got that scar?

The voice acting is just superb. Even single lines like Gran Gran have distinct character. I did have to rewind a couple of times to catch what the old man with Zuko was saying.

The shading on the snow, the clouds and the skies, it's all so beautiful. You could watch this episode on mute and still be satisfied.

Katara is the only waterbender in the whole south pole, Sokka is the only man in the whole village, and Aang is the only air bender in the whole world. Gonna be a lot of lonely kids in this show. I sense a theme. I bet Appa is the only sea bison too.

Sokka is my favourite so far, but I think Aang is going to grow on me. Katara is a little bit too much of a Little Sister (TM) and Zuko just feels flat. But that just means more room to grow for both of them as characters. Of course Appa reigns supreme. I hope there's more of him in the next episode.

Even though this was half of a two-part episode, the cut off didn't feel abrupt. Maybe not a full self-contained story, but they left off at a perfect place.

Rereading this before posting, I asked a lot of quetsions. That's good! So many hooks to get me into the show, all in the first episode. I'm looking forward to the next one.

[bearmemesreviews]

FotW: SDMI - The Creeping Creatures

The Freak of the Week for today are the titular Creeping Creatures of Scooby-Doo: Mystery Incorporated's second episode of its first season.

Backstory: The Mystery Gang begin to receive anonymous clues from a "Mr. E", a man who wants to lead them on the right path towards solving the true underlying mysteries of their hometown (in this canon) Crystal Cove. He first leads the gang to investigate the neighboring ghost town of Gatorsburg, a prospector town that built its economy entirely on Alligator-based products. Which seems to be the home of human-alligator hybrids.

Most mysteries need to settle on a single town, as this is before the gang gives up on their education to become world-travelling nepo baby sleuths. So it's fun to visit separate locations to build up the world of Mystery Incorporated, and a town that managed to latch their existence onto something more unstable than gold is definitely funny. Gatorburg is a wonderfully gloomy set-piece, the swamp casting a gloomy shadow over the remnants of a rundown tourist spot. Sad that we don't visit this place again.

The gang find themselves stranded in Gatorsburg, their entire engine missing, and thanks to a local hot mechanic's suggestion they decide to stay at a reskinned version of the Bates Motel - ran by the mechanic's sister and her gangly twink son. But before the meddling kids can rest, they are attacked by not just one, but three gator creatures who chase them out of Gatorsburg. Surprisingly, these bloodthirsty beasts refuse to chase after the gang once they cross the border.

Designs: We have three monsters to review! An entire family of gator hybrids with alligator bodies and human faces.

The "Patriarch" is the largest, heavily muscular even when on all fours with a lion-like mane of black hair. He also has a noticeable bald spot, and his face is so pale you could almost mistake it for a skull if it weren't for his glowing red eyes and tiny human nose.

The "Matriarch" is a heavyset, squat beast with a very humanoid face with red hair. Her face is similar to her brother's, only rounder, and her skin has a more blue-ish tone that contrasts nicely to the male creepers.

Finally we have the "Child", or I guess teen, who's the lankiest and funniest of the designs. He keeps all the proportions of a gangly teen, alongside black emo kid hair with the sharpest bang in the bayou.

Reveal: Rather than wasting time with the mystery, the episode chooses to focus on set up and action to tide you over until we reach the obvious conclusion. The Creeping Creatures turn out to be the mechanic, the hotel owner, and her son. All relatives, they were the remaining citizens of Gatorsburg who refused to abandon it like the others. So to bring money back into the town, they began making faux leather gator products to sell and used the gator people get-ups to scare away prying eyes to their illegal activites.

They must've really gotten into their role considering how much of their own property they destroyed through their raw strength. Once captured, the gang gets to leave and return to their status quo.

Huh, wonder if that'll have further connotations down the road.

5/5 - Ssscalies ssstay winning.

[curioushappenstance]

fic title: do you like my dress? it's got pockets [chapter 3]

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[ao3 link]

Summary: 9:19 Dragon – Varric Tethras loses his virginity to a pretty dwarf girl at the bar. 9:41 Dragon - The consequence walks through the gates of Skyhold. - In my childish fantasies, I used to dream of being the Champion; going places, meeting people, loving them and being loved in return, never discarded nor kicked nor beaten; love, in perpetuity, the likes of which a girl under the heavy and forceful hand of a mother could not begin to dream of, because she could not dream at all. - aka, the fic where varric has a daughter that he didn't know about until five minutes ago.

It was early morning when the gates of Skyhold opened and soldiers poured into the courtyard.

I watched them from my window, my arm on the windowsill and bleary from waking, only barely able to make out the vague silhouettes of their glinting metal uniforms through the dense, grainy fog that had descended upon Skyhold overnight. Groggily, I dressed, gathered my pack, and descended the tower to watch them alongside everyone else.

The normally still and peaceful courtyard was overcome by shouts, cries, and the clanking of metal. Horses, hounds, the grinding of chains as the elevators ascended to the bridge, all coalesced together into one cacophony that drowned out my thoughts.

A widow collapsed to her knees in the mud. A father swung his child into the air. Outside the infirmary, the bald elf, with blood on his hands and a rag over his shoulder, shook his head and turned away. A sihadow fell over me, and I looked and saw Harding, her lips pressed thin line as, through the fog, she gazed upon the soldiers with one sweeping movement.

I shuffled up next to her. She acknowledged me with a tired smile. Twigs and bits of snow stuck to frazzled, unkempt hair, and the bags under her eyes made them look somehow wider.

“Who are you looking for?” I asked.

“Oh. No one. I was just––” She rubbed at some dirt on her chin. “Just thinking, you know.”

A tall blond human with a fur mantle and a booming voice issued commands to his soldiers, his lieutenants, and the few healers who rushed in for aid on the field.

“What happened?”

Harding patted down her hair. “A lot of us just got back from the Western Approach. The soldiers have been trickling in for weeks, but I think this is the last of them.”

It wasn’t an answer. “How do you know?”

“There, see?” She gestured into the crowd. I followed her hand until I found who she was pointing at. “The Inquisitor. She’s always the last one to get back.”

Gossip travelled quickly among the dwarven families of Kirkwall. When word got out that the eldest daughter of the Cadash family fell through a hole in the Fade, I shook my head and rolled my eyes. But by the Ancestors, to truly see her now, her dark skin plastered with mud and dried blood, innocuous and unremarkable if not for the bright green glowing mark that branded her left hand…

“And in the Approach,” I tried again, “what happened there?”

“...I guess word didn’t reach far, huh?” She visibly hesitated. “Maybe you should ask Varric.”

“What are we asking me?”

I yelped. Varric smiled an apology as Harding faced him, her back to the sunrise, the light shining through wisps of her hair.

“Oh, nothing! We were just––”

“The soldiers in the Approach,” I interrupted.

Harding’s hard look told me what she’d really meant; ask Varric away from me, because I don’t want to be anywhere near him when you do. But whatever she was fearing didn’t happen, and he dismissed me.

“You don’t wanna hear about it, kid. Trust me.”

Harding cut me off. “How you feeling, Varric?”

“Hm?” The question was redundant. His hair, falling out of a haphazard bun, was just as much a mess as hers. A fresh dressing had replaced the old one. “Oh, you know. Just barely escaped Chuckles in the infirmary. It’s a miracle he still has the time to sigh at me between all the limbs he’s amputating.”

Two soldiers raced past us, each carrying one end of an unconscious friend. “It’s that bad?” I asked.

“...Eh. Probably not, but I––I tried not to look too hard.” He poked at the dressing. “Anyway. Got time, kid?”

“For what?”

He shrugged, a little half-heartedly. “A walk. I gotta talk to you.”

Harding looked between us and said nothing.

“No more stairs,” I told him. He chuckled, and said he wouldn’t make any promises he couldn’t keep.

-

“...Sleep okay?”

Varric’s legs dangled pathetically off the edge of the battlements that overlooked the gardens. They’d been done up for some kind of event, and were mostly empty, save for some Chantry Sisters who gathered large quantities of elfroot into baskets. Varric kicked his heels against the wall.

I didn’t have the energy for this.

“I slept fine,” I said, and it was true. In fact, I’d never slept better. “What did you want to talk about?”

He raised his chin and breathed deep through his nose. The outward sigh made a small cloud that dissipated on the wind. His brow and the corner of his mouth twitched downward before he spoke. “I sent a letter to one of my Carta contacts. Should get a reply in about a week, maybe.”

A week. That wasn’t too long, but how much could I afford to wait? I needed to be home in time for mother to be returned to the Stone. “They must be close by.”

“Eh.”

“You can’t tell me?”

“Yeah. Listen, kid…” He pivoted and faced me full-on, one leg propped on the wall, the other still off the edge. For a dwarf, he wasn’t very afraid of falling. “Shit like this doesn’t get solved over a few letters. He’s gonna wanna meet up.”

I wrung my hands. The back of my neck itched now he was facing me properly. I wished I’d brought my blanket. “Is he dangerous?”

“He won’t hurt you.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

Varric looked into my eyes. “He won’t hurt you.”

I tore myself from his gaze and peered over the edge of the wall. “Fine.”

Satisfied, he leaned away. “Also, I’ve got a thing going on tonight. So, if you need anything, uh, find Harding.”

“A ‘thing’.”

He cleared his throat. It sounded dry and painful. “A thing.”

“Alright. Is that it, then?”

“Mm?”

“Is that all you wanted to talk about?”

He was quiet. In that moment, his tapping stopped. 

“Yep.”

It was a lie. It was always a lie.

-

I asked Varric where I could find work. In a grumbly, quiet voice, he told me he could just give me the coin, then backed off when I scowled at him. To that end, he directed me to the tavern.

(“Cabot’s gonna have his hands full with the soldiers. Shit’ll be overrun tonight. But, uh, kid, you don’t have to…”)

I was still scowling when I shoved open that door again, and struggled to smooth it over in time to meet Cabot at the counter. Also a dwarf, I realised, now that he wasn’t standing on a crate behind the bar, and I was actually paying attention. A few quiet, contemplative soldiers already occupied the space, and I imagined they would leave before their rowdy, drunken brethren arrived.

“I’m looking for work,” I said.

Cabot raised an eyebrow. “Good for you.”

“...I was told you’re hiring.”

“Could be. Could not be.”

For a bartender, he wasn’t very talkative. For a dwarf… just the right amount. I could work with that.

“I’ll clean the tables,” I declared. “The glasses. The floors. The walls.”

He squinted. “Didn’t you clock Tethras with a mug?”

My cheeks warmed. The scrutiny of his stare reminded me more of a librarian than a bartender; he was only lacking in little round spectacles, by which he would pass his judgement over. A funny thing, to imagine for a bald, rough-and-tumble dwarf.

“...Yes?” I squeaked.

“Hm.”

“He startled me, I––I would never attack ––”

“Three silvers an hour.”

“Huh?”

I stared. He stared back, and shrugged. “Keep the soldiers in line and I’ll pay double.”

I fumbled a half-formed sentence which fell pathetically into gibberish. I could only just comprehend three silvers all on their own, let alone in multiples, and the prospect of double that wage had my knees weak.

Three silvers an hour, twenty-one a day––by the end of the month, six sovereigns with a bit on a side. I could buy warm clothes, a chemise, new boots!

Cabot squinted again. “You look like someone shat in your meal.”

“Oh, I––” had never worked a day in my life. Mind, not for lack of trying, but when you couldn’t reach the high shelves, most employers turned a blind eye to you. It didn’t matter how smart or talented you were. “I’m fine. I’m fine. When do I start?”

Cabot ran most of the tavern all on his own after the previous owner died. I had heard of what happened in Haven, and I wanted to ask more, but he didn’t seem interested in talking about it, so I didn’t.

He introduced me to the other barmaid, a skittish young elf––Iowen––with a wide face and wider ears. Needed someone with more backbone, Cabot said, and Iowen blushed, but said nothing. He assigned me alongside her; delivering drinks, hauling small crates, and cleaning messes. Everything else, he said, he would handle.

It was something to do. More than that, it was a schedule, something worthwhile, something with a purpose.

Harding found me again when the tavern started to fill.

“Arms aching yet?” she teased, leaning against the table I’d just wiped down.

“More my legs,” I admitted. “I’m not used to standing around like this.”

“Aha, you get used to it. I’ve had to spend hours in the same spot when I’m out scouting, and Maker, my legs…”

I moved on to the next table, not because it was dirty, but because I needed something to do. A soldier told a raunchy joke that had a nearby table burst into raucous laughter. “Is that what you were doing this morning?” I asked over the noise.

“Huh? Oh!” She laughed. “Yeah. I was out really late clearing the path on the road. I think I got less sleep than Cullen did!”

“Cullen?”

“Our Commander.”

I remembered the blond human yelling at the gate, and resolved to avoid him. I adjusted a chair and moved on again; Harding followed like a lost puppy, narrowly avoiding tripping over the outstretched leg of an oblivious human.

“So… how do you know Varric?”

“Oh. Um…”

“I guess I thought you didn’t know him. It’s a small world, huh?”

A woman waved me over and ordered a beer, which I fetched from a low shelf in the back. Harding was still waiting for me when I emerged.

“I only met him yesterday,” I said. The woman took the bottle from me with a cheers.

“But…” Harding sat against the bar. “You talk like you’ve known each other forever. ”

I shrugged. 

“He knew your name,” she said. “Was he the one you were delivering that message to?” When I turned away, she chased me around a table. Iowen looked at us strangely from across the room. “He was! He was, wasn’t he?”

I pulled out a chair, stared at it, and pushed it back in again. My head felt light. “It’s not very interesting.”

“Now I want to know even more. ”

Her expectant gaze bore into my skull. So happy, so excited, so full of energy, light, and warmth. She waited, and I hesitated again, and again, and again. 

“He’s––”

A soldier banged his mug against a table, and silence fell upon the tavern. He clambered upon the table, and stood on it with a wooden prosthetic carved with dozens upon dozens of names and dates.

I'd never been to an Andrastian funeral, but I had seen Kirkwall. There were mourners on the streets, in bars, or hidden away in the darkest dark of Darktown. There were more bodies in alleys than in the graveyards, and more funerals in the streets than in the Chantry.

I knew mourners, the way their eyes shimmered whether they cried or not. The eyes of the soldiers glinted in the torchlight as they watched their brother raise his mug to the ceiling, his legs shaking but his arms steady, as he spoke.

To those we have lost, and those we will lose.

Cross the Veil and the Fade and all the stars in the sky. Rest at the Maker’s right hand, and be forgiven.

-

I left in the late evening with a heavier purse. Before the market closed, I bought a chemise, a woollen kirtle, and a pair of snow boots. The relief of coin and clothes didn’t lift the heaviness in my legs or from my eyes––nor the memory of the soldier’s bloodshot eyes in the torchlight.

It was bad luck that I ran headlong into Varric. It was funny that he fell ass-first into the mud, and the mockery of nearby recruits echoed off the stone walls.

“Andraste’s––fucking––” He cradled his head with his eyes scrunched tight. You have a real fucking knack––!”

“I’m not sorry.”

He glared. “Kid, you wound me, literally and metaphorically.”

“Apparently I can’t help it.”

“You’re in a good mood.” He stumbled to his feet, and groaned at the mud splattered all over his coat and trousers. A deep black shirt replaced his vibrant red one. “I just washed these damn things.”

“I’m in a mood. Not sure if it’s good or not.”

“You have a sense of humour after all, maybe you really are my––” He hissed and pressed a palm to his forehead. “Shit. That hurt more than the mug.”

“I have a thick skull.”

“Take after me, I guess.” Swaying, he blinked away watery eyes. “Uh, went fine at the tavern?”

I didn’t tell him about the impromptu funeral. “None of the soldiers groped me.”

He blinked, squinted, then frowned. “Huh?”

“I said none of the––”

“That’s a really low bar. You were worried about that?”

I stared.

He was still, at the core of it all, a sheltered silverspoon rich boy.

“I’m very small,” I said.

“You’re taller than me.”

“I hate to be the one to break this to you, but you’re also very small.”

He shook off his coat and draped it over one arm. “No need to rub it in, kid. Damnit, I have to go change…”

“Where were you going?”

“Oh, you know.”

I waited. And I waited. Varric kicked a stray rock and watched it splat into the mud.

“You know, my thing. The thing. There’s––in the gardens.”

“For a writer, I expected you to be better with words.”

He looked up at me with a flat, placid face, his true thoughts betrayed only by the smallest flinch in the corner of his mouth. His voice was even.

“Inquisitor’s holding a funeral.”

“Oh.” I shuffled my feet. For the soldiers? “Is everyone going?”

“Just the inner circle.”

“Ah.” That didn’t seem fair.

“Yeah. So. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Which was code for no, sorry, you’re not invited either, which didn’t surprise me after I’d just insulted him. And it was fine, of course––but watching him leave, muddy, lumbering, and shivering…

I retired to my quarters and packed away my new clothes. It was ten minutes I sat at the edge of my bed, draped in my chemise, staring out the window and watching the clouds cross the sky as the sun set behind the mountains. A further ten I spent meticulously plaiting my hair, and when I was done, I gathered my blanket into my arms.

Hawke’s blanket. Hawke’s quarters. Hawke in the air that I breathed, as warm and comforting as his smile when I was a child. 

I gazed into the mirror. The shattered reflection marred my tired face.

Where was Hawke?

I climbed under my sheets. The weight of my blanket, like the weight of the ocean, pulled me down into a restless unconscious.

Loud swearing and a heavy thud woke me again with a jolt. All was dark, except for the light of the moon, which bathed the otherwise warm room in a dull greyness. I listened, one ear to my pillow, to another series of thuds getting progressively louder, and louder, as someone stumbled up the stairs.

Unsteady footfalls approached then stopped outside my door.

I waited, wide-eyed, for the rattle of the handle that never came. Instead, there was a thump, then a slide, and, in the softest of tones, the unmistakable sound of weeping.

My blanket around my shoulders, I tiptoed from my bed and pressed my ear to the door. I held my breath, waiting for them to stop, or leave, but soon my legs started to ache again, and I sat with my back to the wall.

“You’re very loud,” I said.

There was a cold silence. Then the shuffle of fabric.

“Sorry,” Varric rasped, muffled by the door.

“It’s very late.”

“Sorry.”

I pulled my blanket closer around my shoulders, like a warm hug from behind. The shattered mirror glimmered in the moonlight.

“It was for Hawke, wasn’t it? The funeral?”

There was no answer, and I didn’t need one.

“I met him once,” I said. “I was much younger, um, twelve, I think.”

Varric sniffled. “Yeah?”

“He was very kind. He––” I didn’t know him, he was never my friend, so Maker, why was my throat so tight? “He gave me a blanket. I remember thinking he was very pretty.”

A chuckle, then a low hum. “Yeah.”

“What happened?”

I heard a heavy sigh. At least he wasn’t crying anymore. “It was him or me.”

I remembered the torn parchment on Varric’s desk, his ink-stained hands, and his bloodshot eyes as he looked at me for the first time.

“In the Western Approach?”

“Yeah. I thought… I thought he was gonna come through. I waited for him.”

“And then he didn’t?”

“Don’t even have a damn body to burn.” His voice cracked. “He’d like you.”

“I’m not very likeable.”

He grunted. “Me neither.”