#all the what ifs we could've had

[ponypickle]

I will never not be sad by the de-fangification of our female characters on hotd. we could've had all of them serving cunt and warfare/bloodthirstiness but instead they are all 'peaceful' and everything is the men's fault 🙄🥲.

a cersei-esque alicent dead set on having her kids on the throne at all costs because she believes it's their gods given right, ready to slay everyone who gets in her way

rhaenyra asking her feral husband to eliminate anyone and anything that offends her, like vaemond, a son for a son, etc. stopping at nothing to get HER throne because SHE wants it, not stopping at anything to achieve her goals

rhaenys ready to ride into war for her queen to slay all her enemies instead of feeling bitter as she came across in the show a lot of the time

baela truly being the embodiment of her father in female form, being feral and ready to eliminate everything at once, etc.

oh, the show we could've had if they just weren't scared of the audiences reactions to powerful decisive women that aren't apologetic about their claims to power and what they believe is their's.

[high-dragon-bait]

"But Dragon Age Joplin would've been the game we WANTED-"

Dragon Age Joplin doesn't exist. Didn't exist. Never would've existed. Dragon Age Joplin was an idea, it was a collection of what ifs and concept art. It wasn't a game. If it had become a game, it wouldn't have looked anything like the concepts we see in the art book (which are very cool and pretty!). The PRACTICALITIES hadn't been considered yet. The issues around writing, casting, sculpting, animating, all the very expensive and time-consuming realities of making a game. It was just ideas

If Joplin had been allowed to continue without any of EA's interference, would it have been a better game? Maybe! Part of me wants to say probably! But we CAN'T KNOW because the game DOESN'T EXIST and NEVER EXISTED

It wasn't snatched out of our hands. It was never there! It's easy to look at ideas and fill in the blanks yourself perfectly, but it wouldn't have BEEN perfect regardless. I can promise you that

Maybe it would've been better. It also could've been worse. We will never know because the game was never real

[trulyy-yourzz]

Pleasee we need a fic where Billie gets jealous as shit and pounds the fuck out of us after we get back home with her

Oh yes. Your wish is my command 🤭

━─━────━─━────━─━────━─━────

Billie had won another award for the best song of the year. She was so talented, and you were so proud of her. She'd come so far.

After the award show, a close friend you both knew decided to throw an after-party. But unfortunately, when you and Billie walked in, you both met eyes with the one person Billie despised most.

The woman she oh-so "hated" was someone she knew personally from a long time ago. And apparently ruined a close relationship with a friend. Who was now trying to take her spot for #1 best artist of the year.

Billie had left you alone for a few seconds to go grab drinks and came back to a very... unpleasant sight. You were talking to her, out of all people. Billie set the drinks down on a nearby table and shoved past everyone, absolutely furious, and trying to get to you before anything else happened between you two.

"Hi." Billie wrapped her arm around your waist, yanking you close to her. "I see you've met my girlfriend." She was pissed. Extrenely pissed. The girl just laughed and nodded her head. "Yes, I had pulled her for a conversation. About you, actually." Billie glared at her and scoffed.

"Really? And why's that?" Billies grip on your waist tightened, looking at you with a fake smile planted on her face. "Baby, we were just..." you pleaded.

"We should go. It's late, and I have plans in the morning." She grabbed onto your wrist, dragging you away from that awful situation.

The car ride home was quiet, not a peep was made from either of you. When you initially got to the car, you tried to explain yourself, but Billie really didn't want to hear it.

Once you guys pulled up to the house, she immediately got out of the car, walking to the front door and unlocking it. You followed behind her, guilt burried deep in your chest.

"Billie, listen, i -" She turned around to face you, her expression making it obvious she was still mad. "You should shower." She said and just kicked her shoes off, turning around to go elsewhere in the house.

You scratched the back of your neck and sighed. You'd felt so bad for what had happened, but you genuinely did try to end the conversation between you and that girl because you knew this would've happened.

You were in the shower, thoughts racing through your head as you contemplated about a bunch of what-ifs and what you should've done. You jumped, hearing the bathroom door suddenly open. But quickly calmed down, realizing it was just your girlfriend, Billie.

She abruptly opened the glass door to the shower, eyeing your body up and down before stepping in with you. She had already undressed herself and was now backing you into the wall of the shower. "What made you think that was okay?" She looked down at you, disappointed in your selfish actions from earlier that night.

"I tried to, but she was persistent... billie, I'm sorry, really -" She just hushed you and scoffed. She grabbed your arm and spun you around, pushing you against the wall. Your back facing her.

She leaned into you, whispering closely in your ear. "Be a good girl for me. Okay?" You're heart dropped, knowing that this was gonna be one hell of a torturous night.

Billie had thrown you onto the bed, her strap connected to her body as she pounded into you like an animal. She was wild, and she didn't care to stop. No matter how loud you whined.

"P-please, billie I can't - no more..." You screamed into the pillow, face down, ass up, whilst she fucked you into oblivion. She leaned down, cupping your chin and pulling you up to connect her lips with yours. Your legs started to tremble. She could tell you were close. "Mhm. Just like that." She pushed your head back down and removed the strap from your dripping cunt. You frowned into the pillow, and you could've sworn you were about to cry. You were so frustrated and needed to cum.

Billie moved you onto your back, locking your wrists into her hand, using her other one to tease your throbbing clit. Your eyes rolled back, and you exhaled sharply. She lightly tapped your pussy before sliding two digits into your wet folds. You shakily moaned, your cunt squeezing down on her fingers.

Billie sped up her pace, and you felt yourself reaching heaven. Or was it hell? It didn't matter. You just wanted to feel the release. You craved it.

She lifted your legs up, throwing one over her shoulder as she removed her fingers, replacing it with her cock. Not gently. But thrusting it roughly deep inside of you. "Don't you go pulling some stupid shit like that again, do you understand?" Your eyes fluttered shut, but you nodded your head and bit down hard onto your lip, feeling your orgasm approaching.

"Fuck... yes. Yes!" Billies hand slid up your stomach, stopping at your neck and gripping gently. Not too hard to hurt you, but enough for you to know who was in charge.

You're legs began to shake, body convulsing and eliciting a moan through your parted lips every time she drove her hard cock into your seeping pussy. You felt something strange starting to build up in your core. You wanted her to stop. It was weird, and your body was burning. But she didn't care. She wanted to fuck you til your last breath.

And before you knew it, you were squirting all over her cock, giving it a nice and shiny coat. Just for her. She groaned, watching as your eyes rolled back and your chest heaved. "Fuck. I love you so much." She leaned down, kissing your plump lips as you laid there. So fucked out and delicate. So beautiful.

.

.

.

Notes: idk why this took me 3 days... this week has been exhausting 😓 but of course, I still have to be here for my babiesss! I hope you enjoyedd💕

Also, what are our thoughts about billies concerts so far??? Personally, I'm going feral 🤭

[floofiestboy]

Daidaidaidaidaikirai by Amala - English Lyrics

I've failed to post my TL anywhere else so I guess I might as well put it on my Tumblr.

Hate Hate Hate Hate Hate You So Much - English Lyrics

It's all, all your fault. You're such a pain, it makes me wanna hurl. Clinging to things, fawning over things… I was stupid to think I'd get something out of it. I'm a people-pleaser coming to pay my respects, So gimme an hater life. I've got a shallow capacity, thanks for your patronage. Basically, my life's always been drab.

"How hateful! How pathetic!" The way I can't ignore you makes it worse- How maddening, how vexing. I've had just about enough of blowing my own horn. (Look around!!) The opposite of like is apathy ≈ proof that you're connected. A relationship I can't cut off… I'd love to just look away from it.

This is what you'd call hate speech. We're posting these anonymous declarations onto our very lives. We spasm every time those ceaseless sirens draw near. We've obeyed red lights all this time.

Point is, I absolutely- -hate hate hate hate hate you. OMG, how pathetic, I just wanna say- -bye bye bye bye bye already. Can't tell what's going on in that mind, and thus there's- -no no no no no solution. How's it? Do you absolutely- -hate hate hate hate me now? Ah, all pain and no gain, nothing, not see. It'd be like nicotine to think back on the what-ifs. Going back because I missed you was a stupid mistake, mistake. Thanks for being a great bad example. You've left an aftertaste that won't ever disappear.

There, there, what a good girl. Strewing your smile around, scatter scatter, what a good girl. But you know, but you know, what's your true nature? Can you even tell right from wrong? (lol) Sigh. Shrouded by an environment that traps people with demerits. "Ow! Ow! Ow!" you cry, "But no one asks!" you'll say for life, but- Serves you right.

People are mirrors. The truth is, it's codependence. Even if you shut it all down, it still sticks around. My weakness feels so cowardly. It's all, all your fault I say. It won't stop, it makes me wanna hurl. Rather, it would've been so much easier if I could've cut it off.

Point is, I absolutely- -hate hate hate hate hate you. OMG, how pathetic, I just wanna say- -bye bye bye bye bye already. Can't tell what's going on in that mind, and thus there's- -no no no no no solution. How's it? Do you absolutely- -hate hate hate hate me now? Ah, all pain and no gain, nothing, not see. It'd be like nicotine to think back on the what-ifs. Going back because I missed you was a stupid mistake, mistake. Thanks for being a great bad example. You've left an aftertaste that won't ever disappear.

[taylortruther]

Who do you think is the guy who "seemed like he would've bullied you in school" in COSOSOM? I've always thought it referred to Calvin as she talks about 'the decade' in the previous line meaning that this guy went out with her during the course of the previous decade...

But some people on Twitter seem to vehemently believe that it's about Travis. Tbf Travis does fit the description quite well and people were also making jokes about him taking on her other exes in a fight way before TTPD came out. So what's your opinion on it?

i think cososom is about matty on the surface, so imo it's calvin. i think people making jokes about travis beating matty's ass cannot be taken as proof of what taylor meant about a song she wrote before those jokes were even made?

anyway, using this ask as a jump off point to a more in-depth discussion:

but she's also addressing and playing with the feelings she's had many times before. she's been marooned before, she's been haunted by what ifs her whole life, she's reflecting not just on matty but the whole concept of what ifs. similar to the 1, where she straight up says that she has this habit of digging up graves, wondering what could've been. in the 1, she's saying, the greatest films of all time are never made because they don't exist, just like she and that person never had a chance. but here she is, creating folklore in her mind, saying they could've been. it's one of the themes of folkore as an album.

in cososom, she's saying a similar thing: could i live my life, and watch you live your life, and be okay with it? because we can't force it, because the greatest films of all time are never made, will i always wonder?

we already know from the rest of the album that's not true: cososom and fortnight tell the same story, of not being able to let go - and we know she pursued things with matty because she HAD to stop wondering and just do it. but we also know in her discography that she's haunted by certain relationships, it's a huge theme in her work preceding ttpd. and not just about matty, but about jake, john, and others.

[moncherriecoups]

Sooo I found this edit (ctto) that makes me think that he could've been our crush if we ever go to the same high school as him...

So... Here's a one shot for you (and me heheheh)

Almost, Again

Back in high school, he was the guy I noticed in all the quiet ways — the one with that lopsided smile like he was in on some cosmic joke, the kind that made you wonder if he was secretly planning world domination or just figuring out how to survive algebra. He wasn’t the captain of the football team or the star of the drama club. Nope, he was just the dude with the messy backpack that looked like it had been through a tornado, notebooks scribbled with doodles that made zero sense, and arms that looked way too strong for someone who spent half his time pretending to pay attention in class. I’d catch him sometimes by the lockers, pretending not to look but absolutely looking, while he chatted with his friends or shoved his hands deep in his jacket pockets like he was trying to hide a blush that screamed louder than a stadium. Once, I swear I heard him laugh when I tripped over my own feet in the hallway — classic me, right? — which was embarrassing but also kind of a moment, like we shared some secret no one else knew. But real talk? We barely talked. Just stolen glances, quick hellos, and a whole lot of “what ifs” trapped in the silence of teenage nerves and stupid pride.

Nine years later, there he was at the train station in our hometown, like a glitch in time. Same crooked grin, but now with broader shoulders and biceps that probably could open jars for a living. “Oh,” I said, smooth as ever. “Hey,” he said like it was the most normal thing ever. We were both visiting family, neither of us living here anymore. We said hi, caught up awkwardly, and somehow — by some cosmic prank or miracle — ended up spending the entire week together. We hit up cafés around town, the kind we’d both always thought about trying back in high school but never dared because, well, we barely talked. Now, finally doing it — drinking bad lattes, laughing at terrible jokes, pretending we weren’t freaking out. Time folded in on itself, but still, we never said a word about us. Too scared, too cautious, too stubborn. The week ended, we hugged goodbye at the same platform where we met. No confessions. No promises. Just a heavy, unspoken almost.

We finally admitted we were living just 30 minutes apart — me in Seoul, him in Busan. Like, how did we not realize this before? But even knowing, neither of us made a move. Too shy, too scared, or just too stubborn to mess up the “almost” we’d been holding onto for years. We went home, back to our cities, carrying that awkward secret between us. Texting, but just small talk, safe stuff.

Then one day, I snapped. “Why are we pretending this is nothing?” I asked. He laughed, relieved. “Yeah, let’s stop being idiots.” That was it. The real start.

Now we see each other every week. We hang out, “accidentally” end up at the same bar, and live in the same timezone finally saying what we feel. Weird, new, nine years late — but perfectly timed. Turns out love wasn’t stuck in the past. It moved cities, got a job, rented an apartment 30 minutes from mine, and waited for us to catch up.

The end? Or maybe... just the beginning.

[dykehelly]

taylor swift + haunting/ghosts

lyrics search and screenshots from here

lyric transcripts along with album and song titles under the cut

Speak Now

Sparks Fly: Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around

Haunted: Can't breathe whenever you're gone / Can't turn back now, I'm haunted

Ours: Ghosts from your past gonna jump out at me

Electric Touch: Got a feeling your electric touch / Could fill this ghost town up with life

1989

Bad Blood: If you live like that, you live with ghosts

How You Get the Girl: Stand there like a ghost / Shaking from the rain

You Are In Love: And for once, you let go / Of your fears and your ghosts

This Love: Your smile, my ghost

Reputation

...Ready For It?: Wondered how many girls he had loved and left haunted / But if he's a ghost, then I can be a phantom

Lover

The Archer: I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost

Death by a Thousand Cuts: Now I'm searching for signs in a haunted club

Daylight: Not the things I'm afraid of / Or the things that haunt me in the middle of the night

folklore

cardigan: But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss / Knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs

my tears ricochet: You know I didn't want to have to haunt you / But what a ghostly scene

seven: And I've been meaning to tell you / I think your house is haunted / Your dad is always mad and that must be why

evermore

happiness: Haunted by the look in my eyes

right where you left me: Help, I'm still at the restaurant / Still sitting in a corner I haunt

Midnights:

Midnight Rain: I guess sometimes we all get / Some kind of haunted, some kind of haunted

Would've, Could've, Should've: And now that I'm grown, I'm scared of ghosts

The Tortured Poets Department

Florida!!!: Well, me and my ghosts, we've had a hell of a time / Yes, I'm haunted, but I'm feeling just fine

Guilty As Sin?: They don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly

loml: You low-down boy, you stand-up guy / Holy ghost, you told me I'm the love of your life

How Did It End?: My beloved ghost and me / Sitting in a tree

P.S. I did not include instances of "ghost" that solely referred to "ghosting" someone

[petalsscribbles]

9. in the middle of the night

If Yn were to describe his sleeping habits in the popular bird terminology, he would clasify himself as a slightly neurotic offspring of a night owl and an early bird. He goes to sleep late and wakes up early on most nights. Sometimes anxiety induced insomnia robs him off his already alarmingly short sleep.

Tonight is not one of those nights when thoughts run around in his brain like a hamster in his tiny plastic wheel, doubts screech and bang two huge cymbals together and worries hold a techno rave.

It's one of those nights where a single sentence haunts him like a ghost, like a shameful secret.

Because you're already in love with someone else.

Well.

Is he?

Yn tried not to dwell on it, mostly because he doesn't want to think about it and figure out Seunghwan was right. The reality of it evokes a lot of ifs. Yn doesn't like ifs, especially what ifs. But he couldn't help himself, and now he's dangerously close to the possibility of having feelings for Matthew.

Matthew... His best friend, his soulmate and proclaimed platonic husband. He's someone Yn can't afford to lose and admiting to himself he likes Matt could cost him their precious bond.

He wishes he could talk to Matthew about this. He's the emotionally intelligent one while Yn is absolutely dense. Matt always helps him make sense of his emotions, guides him through them. He understands him like nobody else, better than Yn understands himself. But Matt is the last person he can talk to about this.

Yn turns on his side, as if a new position would somehow trigger his sleep switch inside his brain. Something much different happens.

Matt is tossing and turning, sweating, mumbling distraught pleas.

Yn sits by his side and shakes Matthew's shoulders.

"Wake up." He whispers and shakes with a bit more force.

Matthew wakes up with a yelp and fear in his eyes. He looks around frantically, still not quite grounded in the real word.

"It's okay. You had a nightmare but I woke you up. You're alright now." Yn comforts as he caresses Matthew's hair. As his eyes meet Yn's, last traces of terror vanish and his shoulders relax. He shuffles forward, wrapping his arms around Yn's chest, face burried in the crook of Yn's neck.

"Thank God you're okay." Matthew says, warm breath tickling Yn's collarbone.

"Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?" Yn reassures, hands soothing Matthew's still slightly trembling body. "Was the nightmare about me?"

Matthew releases a shaky exhale.

"Yes." He says as he pulls away slightly, arms still secured around Yn. "All my nightmares are about you. That's why I called you whenever I had one. To make sure you're alright."

"You should have told me. I could've climbed into your room."

"And make you risk breaking all your bones? No way." He rejects right away.

"You always did it for me." Yn argues.

"Yeah, but unlike you I can actually climb without snapping my neck." He argues back, flicking Yn's forehead to assert his point. Yn rubs the sore spot, unknowingly pouting. If only he knew what that face did to Matthew's heart.

"Let's get back to bed. We have to get up early." He suggests and guides Yn to his bed. Yn just watches him as Matthew basically tucks him in, wondering how can someone like him exist in this world. It should be Yn taking care of him, but Matthew has always put the needs of others before his own.

"Are you really okay now?" Yn asks as he sits up, mostly to reassure himself.

"Yes, don't worry." He smiles. "You're here with me, that's all I need."

Yn lies down with a thud, staring at the cracked ceiling.

Here comes the hamster wheel, the cymbals and the rave, now joined by a loud parade of ifs.

A/n: the amount of times i googled words to cofirm they mean what i think they mean is ridiculous

taglist CLOSED

@xavi-in-kpopland @starchasing-cryptid @tarotarosung @bubblztaro @gnusihcom @monstaxpuppy @academiq @molanran @teoluvsyou @zhaegon @asherthehimbo @letolucas @rickyshen-luvr @xiaoquanquans @desafortuno

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[imsatu]

Papas' mothers

i need to warm up my writing and i got inspired, so here’s what i think the papas’ mothers could've been like

these are all maybes and what ifs, they’re not really my hcs just things that i came up with, also i like sister imperator, even though it might not look like it from the things i wrote hehe

cw: maybe it gets a bit nsfw? but not heavy, it's a just in case, also rhrn spoilers, again just in case

Primo: his conception was one of the first duties nihil had to carry out, conceive an heir to the position, that’s why primo is much older than the rest

nihil had to select a sister of sin from a thoroughly sorted group out of the women of the satanist convent, being a great honor to all of them to be even considered for the position. he ended up picking a beautiful, blonde woman with bright, blue eyes, arched nose and plump lips, and a serious and solemn demeanor (the one that resembled sister imperator the most). it didn’t take long until she became pregnant. as a mother, she was stern and preoccupied in rising the perfect heir for the role of papa, and made sure primo grew being able to carry out his papal duties perfectly

Secondo: he came a few years after primo, product of a sudden (and a bit of frowned upon) relationship with a sister of sin. still, the clergy had to accept him as the heir he was, but secondo felt the subtle rejection of the anti-church, even from his mother, as life practically fell apart around her because of the affair with nihil (big part of which sister imperator made sure happened, out of jealousy). his mother was never important in his life, and was raised by other sisters of sin along with primo. the hard time he had during his childhood, adding to the pressure of becoming papa helped turn him into the party-animal, miserable, wounded, and bitter old man he was known for.

Terzo: his mother wasn’t a sister of sin, like his older brothers, in this case, it was a fan of the ghost project from when nihil was the frontman. she followed them around for the concerts and ended up pregnant, terzo being born in the midst of the chaos of tours and rituals, which he loved. his mother helped him become not only the best papa he could be, but also and most importantly, the best rockstar. since he was a kid, she helped him come up with his skull makeup, enrolled him in music lessons, and transmitted to him a burning passion for stages and glamor, so when he became frontman of ghost, he made sure to make his mama proud

Copia: we all know who copia’s mom is, but, how was sister imperator as a mother? she just wasn’t. when she found out she was having twins she had to come to the most complicated decision she ever had to take, as she wouldn’t be able to be a mother to twins and also fulfill her job as sister imperator. so, she decided to surrender her children to the sisters of sin, the same ones that had raised the three papas. she made sure that nobody, including both of her babies would ever know who their real parents were, thinking that she was protecting them, and made sure to give them a good life, making copia a cardinal and later papa emeritus. 

what about the other twin? until we meet them, any theory could be our best guess. maybe they died (following the story of romulus and remus that it seems copia and a few songs make reference to), maybe they decided to leave the clergy, who knows

[pain-is-too-tired]

Chris and Clarisse relationship could've been so cool to explore instead just Rick giving Clarisse a boyfriend and moving on-

Like, one, you have what their relationship was like before Chris joined Luke. I assume they had to have somewhat of a friendly relationship for Clarisse to already care so deeply for him. Was he someone who just never was scared nor butting heads with her? Someone who immediately understood her in way most never tried/ tried to be friends with her? We see with Silena being able to help her out and be personal with her earns her love and loyalty quick, so what did Chris do before hand to earn that himself?

Two, see them care for eachother. Both being able to fight and handle themselves independently, but being unstoppable when fighting together as a team. Clarisse giving Chris more courage in himself as well as physical support and Chris giving Clarisse emotional support(Like how he stays with her throughout all of TLO,and very clearly knows how she acts during certain emotions like grief and that the others would just make her more upset, telling the others to go on ahead why he stays with her) and being a small bit of support in battle. I can see them being power and speed,Chris distracting an enemy why Clarisse goes in for the kill.

Both also being even closer after BoM. Both grieving for Silena. Why not obvious,I think both were close with her. We see Chris comforting her with Clarisse when we first see them in that book. He also talks off when he's talking to Percy and mentions loosing Silena due to not join earlier. Honestly can see him blaming himself or feeling guilty. Percy mentions him still seeming to feel guilty about once being in the Titan Army, at that to learning what Silena went through i can see him constantly thinking about what ifs.

Also. Would've loved them working together to care for Mellie. Obsessed with the idea of them taking care of Chuck together hdhdh

Just idea of Chris rocking lil baby saytr to sleep is adorable.

But yeah. Missed opportunity to expand on their relationship tbh 😭

[neomercedes]

nicole series.

note: this was something born out of wanting to write, seeing the nicole album as a full-blown au material, and wanting to release this out of my system. i wanted to include all drivers but it doesn't really seem fitting.

warning: i'm a sucker for angst, but i've never written before so this might just be a prick in the heart barely felt. if you like happy endings, well (i might excuse oscar pastry because he's a special bean and a ray of sunshine + actually have a long standing relationship)

tags: angst, cheating allegations, unrequited love, allergy to happy ending, bad writing

five songs from the album that remind me of the drivers (and maybe their previous relationship too). may i present to you niki x formula 1, i guess.

—————————————

apartment we won't share [CS55] “ Do the bricks in the walls know to hide the affairs? ” - in which the what-ifs of a 7-year relationship haunt you on a saturday night; the what could've been and the art of letting go.

autumn [CL16] “ You know all my dreams, you were one, so it seemed ” - for when you've both given all it takes to save the relationship, yet maybe you've already reached the end.

on the drive home [LH44] “ You won't be listening to my cries, anymore ” - where you know it won't ever be the same again once you've reached your destination, so you wish he'd take the long way home.

milk teeth [LN04] “ Just one empty kiss, and it's not as bad as it seems ” - you already knew the premise of being with him, yet you fight to be a constant in his world full of changes and temporary settlements.

take a chance with me [OP81] “ Lie to me all you please, I can see right through ” - after long years of pining, would you take the risk or miss the chance you didn't take?

Status: Work In Progress [i just had to let the idea out, not the actual will to write it so I don't know when i'd post the actual imagine/fic.]

[rememberingliampayne]

Dear Liam,

Thank you for being in 1D, making 1D a place that is so irreplaceable in my heart. I confess I am not a person who came to know 1D back in its most popular days, and it is regretful that I only got to know so little so soon. When I was at my lowest, struggling with the academic toll and had difficulties managing my emotions, I remember listening to the song 'Strong' and it hit so close to home, it made me want to learn more, to know more about 1D. I pulled myself together and got back into the routine of my life, which would not have been possible without 1D. I started watching videos on 1D, seeing the hilarious video diaries and bloopers. I thoroughly enjoyed them. What stood out to me was you, you who was always there with a smile, there to comfort all the other bandmates when they were struggling. You were there for all of them, but how about you? Who would be there for you?(I'm not saying that the rest of the members were unsupportive, but that feeling of emptiness inside, the feeling that you couldn't tell anyone or how you were too scared?) It hurt me to see so many horrible comments about you flying around on the internet. People slandering, as if claiming to know everything and yet know so little. It hurt me so much to see such disgusting and mean behaviour, it infuriated me. Yet as a common person, I felt like I had no ability to do anything at all. I felt scared to speak out, I didn't know what I could say or do that would have been of impact, and chose to keep silent, which is definitely my biggest regret. From time to time, I would think about my inaction, and how much pain you must have felt when reading all those comments. We are but human after all, but it was harder for you who was on the receiving end. All the 'what ifs', what could've been done is far too late. What was once said can never be taken back, which is why I hope that from now, people would remember you as the one who brought the smiles, the one who never hesitated to put others before himself. Rest in peace Liam, thank you for making music that has been my pillar of support in difficult times.

[ocyriss]

Oh, the things I would give up to experience this game for the first time again.

Anyway, look at two of my queens in one picture!! Dhaveira Lavellan, and Athera De Riva!! Honestly, I was always excited to see my inquisitor again but what I wasn't expecting was how nostalgic and emotional it was going to feel-- I assumed it would be like seeing Shepard again or something similar to it, but it ended up being so much more than that. There were so many emotions all at the same time: excitement, adoration, a hint of sadness and so much more that I can't put into words. (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) I don't think there's any other media where I felt this attached to a playable character. I have my gripes with the game and writing, a lot of things I wished we could've had and all the what-ifs that were cut from the storyboard but my adoration for Veilguard outweighs it all so much more- Didn't mean to yap when I just wanted to show my Inquisitor and Rook- but I love it- I absolutely adore Veilguard and I don't think there's ever enough words to describe how precious the entire Dragon Age series is to me 😭

It makes me feel so soft in the chest everytime i look back at her during her Inquisition days and how she looks a little older now 😭

[rustbeltjessie]

Anyway I've Got To Be Going

After the drive, the slow winding road along the lakeshore hazy purple in the August dusklight, I parked the car, screwed my courage to the sticking place and walked over to the Cactus Club, afraid of who I might run into, I was sure you and the other old friends, that society of ex-whatevers, would be there, there was a guy out front smoking, pork pie hat and spitcurled mustache, when I saw his face my heart leapt because he was my spitcurl mustachioed ex-whatever, no, not that one, not the other one, either, it was M., newest accordion player for the band, if you were there and we were still friends we would've laughed about that, only I would have not one but three exes with spitcurled mustaches because I've had too many lovers and not enough friends, I hugged M. and he and my husband and I went inside, sat at the bar and drank whiskeydrinks for an hour or so, I kept looking over my shoulder for you and whoever else might show, anyone who wanted to fight with a naughty little rat like me, by the time I wandered into the backroom, I was drunk and in love with the night and the music hadn't even started yet, I searched the crowd for you, for whoever else might crawl out from the past, but I only saw newer friends, like R., like J., like A. who I thanked for putting me on the guest list and I laughed, sad because if we were still friends, if you'd been there you could've been my plus-one like we'd always dreamt of, then the stage lights came up and the first band began, an anarchist marching band from Detroit, and I'd missed it, that sound, the heavy beat and the hot flare of the horns, I shook my ass to the drums and brass and I missed you, missed Mucca Pazza shows at the Hideout with you and S. and B., I kept dancing when W/IFS took the stage, watched the kids at the front with their claws in the air, their passionate singalongs, slam dance, crowdsurf, yes the kids still sing and dance at Inferno shows, they reminded me of us and the other old fiends, back in the day, I stayed in the back but I danced too, though it was too hot in that room, and I felt half- sick from heat and fear, there had just been another mass shooting, always another mass shooting, I had a brief thought of what if, what if it happened here? but mostly I was scared I might see you, wondered if you were still platinum blonde or had you gone back to green hair? Jack looked a little dissipated up there on the stage, sweating under the lights, pale as ever with a green tint around his edges, but I didn't want to admit it and anyway the show was great, you never showed and I was glad you weren't there, you should have been there beside me shouting along, getting bruises, beside me in the swirl of bass and sax and our favorite songs, trying to dance to all the weird time signature changes of "Me and the Mad Monkettes," doing the heart attack waltz with charming strangers, then leaving without saying goodbye, old friend, I didn't know I'd never see you or the band again, I thought it was just the best party but it was a wake, what I thought was a new beginning turned out to be the end

—Jessie Lynn McMains, NaPoWriMo 2025, Day 25 (from NaPoWriMo.net's prompt)

[blondeaxolotl-twstocs]

What's interesting about Dellie is knowing his view on some people would've been different if it weren't for the fact they also liked birds.

Dellie rarely approaches people on his own, they either run up to him or call him over first everytime. Even the staff often call him for help, everyone just knows that Dellie will come out and help them, they will not wait for him to walk up to them first and it's just easier to call for him like he's a dog.

Dellie only approaches a few people on his own without having to be called, Azul, Jade, Floyd, Silver, and Jamil. He only approaches other people first if he needs something from them, otherwise he seems to prefer keeping his distance from people, only walking up to them when he's needed and keeping a distance from them when he's not.

The octatrio makes sense, Dellie has been doing errands for both Azul and Jade for a good while so he got used to walking up to them (plus most of the time they already have a task ready for him). Floyd on the other hand Dellie is seen approaching him the most, to an outsider you'd think aww, They're friends!! While in reality we all know Dellie is taking the chance to bully Floyd again the moment he sees him alone LMAO, never a peaceful moment for them.

Silver and Jamil.. Dellie often goes up to them, like when you spot a friend at the mall and you want to say hi them. It is definitely because those two are "bird lovers" just like Dellie, whenever he sees them, he immediately gets the urge to talk about birds!! And who else than his fellow bird enjoyers!!! It's silly since Lilia has made comments about how Dellie seems to be the most "enthusiastic" when talking to those two, not even in the pop music club does he seem as happy when playing music than when he's talking about birds with Silver and Jamil.

It's funny though, if Dellie hadn't known about either Silver or Jamil liking birds, Dellie would've probably.. rarely acknowledged their existence. If Silver didn't approach Dellie that day asking him to help aid a bird back to health, Dellie would've often forgot Silver even existed, only being reminded of him when Lilia talks about him and Malleus, or seeing him be dragged away by Sebek because he fell asleep in the courtyard again. Silver would've just been "that human that falls asleep alot" to him, just another person Dellie sometimes helps or does favours for when he's asked to.

If it weren't for Kalim basically shoving Jamil towards Silver and Dellie when he heard about them bonding over birds. Dellie would've never interacted with Jamil, hell he probably would've SPECIFICALLY avoided him unless he had a task to do that involved interacting with him. Dellie is fully aware Jamil prefers to do things on his own, he's one of the few people who seemed to have never asked for his help or asked him to do a favour for him (the times Dellie helped tutor Kalim weren't favours for Jamil, Kalim asked for Dellie's help on his own). It could be because he's from Octavinelle, so it's natural for Jamil not to trust Dellie despite how much of a "green flag" he is.

To Dellie, Jamil is no different from an ordinary "sea snake" to him. He actually reminds him of a sea snake he knew from his old school before moving to NRC, unfortunately Dellie did not have good interactions with that sea snake and they're probably the reason why Dellie had to move schools. He knows the differences between a land snake and a sea snake, but at the same time he's unsure of how SIMILAR they are. If it weren't for the fact Jamil also liked birds just like him, Dellie would've avoided him at all cost as he wouldn't want to repeat things that happened in his old school here in NRC. Fortunately it seems like both Dellie and Jamil's interactions have been mostly positive, already an upgrade from his previous school so Dellie does not have the need to avoid Jamil, for now at least.

But those are all just "what ifs"!! Let's not mind what could've happened, let's just focus on the beautiful lil "friendship" these three have formed just because of cute little feathery creatures!! Yippee!!!! 💜💜💜✨✨✨✨

[lordgeneralsix]

giving you a few drinks actually. i love your essays. i would love to hear your silly headcanons and shield you from the rocks also <3

lately i've been stuck thinking about how erik and istvan's relationship evolved. like did istvan immediately see something in him and latch onto him? or was erik a weird kid kept around just for the bit of it? if erik was young enough when istvan took him in—what was it like, a childhood under him? if he was in his late teenage years already; how did erik adapt to this sudden upheaval, so reminiscent of what's happened to henry? i'm gnawing at the bars of my enclosure. warhose. prequel kcd i'm begging you

ah well thank you kindly, glad I'm not on this cursed site for nothing then<3

unfortunately all the alcohol in my house has been confiscated for um. reasons unrelated to me. so guess I'll have to see what I can cook up sober at some point just for you👁️

I also can't stop thinking about that... and I won't even lie, writing all of that convinced me there had to have been Something wrong w erik long before he met istvan. either that was the most fucked up kid istvan had ever seen or the most pathetic. no doubt he's orphaned hundreds of kids anyway, but something about erik was enough for istvan to take him in and raise him in his image. and yeah, who knows. maybe istvan did his job as usual, but erik wouldn't leave him alone. following him around like some wounded stray until he finally decided, "hell, why not. maybe I can make him useful."

and who knows, I can also see the father-son story being just a cover for them. I mean, it's not exactly seen as normal to be gay right. maybe erik never saw him as a father, more of a mentor, definitely a lover. but he'll say it because it's easier for people to understand - especially with that age gap - than the alternative. i like that henry gets it immediately, and in turn erik knows there's something between henry and hans (<3 how homophobic they make each other lmao)

i genuinely do think some kind of kcd prequel about isterik would be interesting. I can definitely see it from erik's perspective with brief glimpses into istvan's when they're apart - perhaps mirroring henry and theresa, it would be the night his village was raided. i'd like to see how erik was, if he even had any friends or if he was always the weird kid. maybe his home life was a lot less loving than henry's, more strained than theresa's. maybe life was simple and erik was restless. I mean, look how easy it was for zbyshek, matthew, and fritz to turn to banditry, they were already known troublemakers. it doesn't take much to turn a boy into a killer, but cowards don't get very far when they follow the herd. erik stood on his own, he was strong and istvan valued that.

then we'd see istvan how erik saw him, the black knight straight from hell who spared his life. he must've felt special to be under the gaze of such a being, like it was god himself keeping him alive for some higher purpose. I suppose it doesn't matter whether he killed his parents or not. to erik, he saved him from the mundane routine killing him first. I don't blame erik for revering the man, it's hard to not get high off such attention. that's why they're especially unnerving, this could happen to anyone under the right circumstances. it could've happened to henry.

it'd be nice to see what else they got up to from there. how istvan raised him, how their dynamics change when they're being watched and when behind closed doors. just how much of istvan is real, now much of erik is suppressed?

there's a lot of potential to explore all kinds of what ifs with them and my fascination is endless. I can only hope we get something more in kcd3 or by some miracle some kind of prequel.