#all the way to The Factory TM even

[adriel-the-unfortunate]

If Francis Mosses looks like Ted Nivison's milkman (TM)

And Harvey of Stardew fame resembles Eddy Burback

Math dictates that:

(Ted + Eddy) x (Rainforest Cafe + Margaritaville) = (Milkman + Harvey) x (Bad photoshopping + God strike me down)

Or something... I don't know, I almost failed math in highschool.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

superior "ugh this isn't a joke >:(" route

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hello hello!! I was not expecting requests to be open again so fast, but i am DEVOURING your writing, so i shan't complain!

What about Dogday getting saved by a teenager who’s desensitized to the horrors of the factory? Like of course, they’re perturbed, but aside from initially seeing Dogday(because holy shit), the biggest reaction they’ll give is a cringe and a “eugh” or some other mild exclamation of “that’s fucked up.” Essentially just Dogday interacting with a kid who’s weirdly chill with the circumstances and tries to be silly sometimes despite the persisting horrors.

Thank you so much and have a wonderful day/night!!!

Awe thanks! Have a good day/night too!

.......

"You..you're Poppy's angel..come to save us-"

"Eugh..what the hell happened to you?"

While back in the day, Dogday would've scolded you for using profane language...he finds it understandable considering you discovered him in his....erm..current condition.

The initial shock of seeing him would have anybody from outside the factory deeply disturbed.

But he's surprised that you're not fully freaked out and didn't run away.

Instead you manage to get him out of the Playhouse (while curbstomping a few little critters who tried crawling into his body along the way) and found a safe spot to rest.

Despite his insistence that you should leave him, you point out that he mentioned you saving him earlier.

"When you said "us", I thought that included you, too."

"I-I meant the others. The ones who can still walk..and still have a fighting chance. Look at me, kid. All I'm gonna do is weigh you down."

"....I mean, you are kinda heavy. But I've lifted worse with this grabpack. I got you."

He's confused by how oddly calm you are about everything.

If you were able to get down this far in the facility, you would've had to cross paths with Huggy, Mommy, Catnap, and Miss Delight at some point.

By all accounts, you definitely should've been traumatized at least from seeing all the bloody toys laying around.

Yet you're cool as a cucumber as you try your best to fix him (with assistance from Kissy, Ollie, and Poppy, of course, who are stunned you came out of the Playhouse alive)

Dogday remembers how scared the children were during the Hour of Joy, comforting them as he helped them flee the terror...so to be comforted by a kid now felt strange.

Yet your calm demeanor helps ground him whenever he starts to have a panic attack over Catnap finding him or if he feels like a critter or two is already inside of him, trying to take hold and eat whatever organs he had remaining (but it's just a sensation he feels from time to time).

You snap him out of it by asking rather silly questions.

"What if I stuck a flare in your mouth? Would that deter them?"

"...what? Um...I-I suppose that could work, but hopefully it's not a theory we have to test anytime soon.."

Even if Poppy decided to show you the Hour of Joy tape (which he had to look away from and tried persuading you to do the same), your only reaction is a slight grimace and a simple "damn wtf....you guys think any of those workers were running late or didn't go in that day?"

Dogday is shocked you'd joke at a time like this...but she knows you better and tells him you're just like That(tm).

You do care about them. You do wanna destroy the Prototype and save whoever you can along the way--including him.

It just may take some time for him to get used to your personality.

[midnight1nk]

PRESENTING:

THE OFFICIAL WOTFI 2024 BINGO CARD

Come one and all to Puzzle Park, where fun truly never ends...

:)

[BOX EXPLANATIONS & EMPTY CARD UNDER CUT]

BOX EXPLANATIONS (+CREDITS)

Mario Ruins The Show — me, @sardix

No matter what Mr Puzzles does, Mario is the only character he can't control. The one who never obeys. The one who ruins the show. So, it wouldn't be the first time Mario would save the day.

Past Arcs Or Trauma — /sardix

it's bound to happen some time, right? :)

Karma

After what he did to Meggy, it makes sense that Mr. Puzzles will face the same demise. The fate that's popular within the fandom would be his death. But if he lives, he could turn into Leggy himself, his TV head with tiny footsies. Or just his head. Either way, he would end up harmless.

It also refers to Puzzles's defeat. He tried to destroy the crew multiple times, it's only natural that the SMG Crew will try to fight back.

Mr Puzzles having a grudge against SMG4 — /sardix

We already knew that Puzzles hates Four, jealous even. How did Four, a ridiculous YT shitposter, get more attention than him? His original ideas pushed aside for memes? To add salt in the wound, Puzzles's steaming service of 5 episodes only managed 4.5 stars at his highest while Four surpassed him with 5.5 stars within an hour. An hour. And then, Four had the nerve to destroy his perfect screen at the end of the Puzzlevision movie. Then, there's the Meme Factory arc. Four took his only friend away, it's only fair if Four gets what he deserves. Why don't we have some fun with it while we're at it? :)

Park Destroyed — @34saveme34

By the end of WOTFI, Puzzle Park gets destroyed similar to how the simulation lab crumbled by the end of Western Spaghetti, seeing that there are a lot of similarities between Wren and Puzzles with the whole wires thing going on.

It's Gotta Be Perfect — me, @time1srunout, and literally everyone

Interestingly, the show crew brings back moments/parallels from IGBP. After all, everything started at that arc. Perfection, the keyboard, the eyes, the goo, the Showgrounds, Puzzlevision. And of course, Four and Puzzles being Narrative Foils(TM). I mean, you gotta love it.

The reason why it's in its own box is because of how significant it is. And besides, many theories stem from this arc. For me, I'll be looking for eyes, Goop!Four, and absolute karma.

References, confirmed theories, motifs, flashbacks, it all counts.

Freak Show

Referring to the poster made by the SMG4 crew with Tari, SMG3, Boopkins, and Bob being labeled as freaks. Someone's gotta bring this into WOTFI somehow.

(Carnival-Themed) Rap — me, @porschas-palette

Just as a heist-themed WOTFI happened in 2023, an awesome carnival-themed rap will happen this year. And it will be a BANGER!

Puzzles' Backstory — me, @yullalightk

As much as Puzzles is an interesting character, we have yet to learn more about his past. We have already seen some in his Creative Control song and in the 'Mr Puzzles' Clubhouse' episode with his dad. There simply has to be more. The puzzle pieces of his past :) ...I'll see myself out

The Bell Tolls 🔔

For the past few weeks, Ben and Shadow have been trolling the SMG4 twitter with their ;) and the bell emoji.

Stop stop [*points at SMG4 twt*] they're already dead/ref

On one tweet, Ben posted a few lyrics of the song "For Whom the Bell Tolls", a 1984 song by Metallica that was apparently inspired by a book of the same name, which basically tells a scene in the story where 5 soldiers died in the Spanish Civil War. Exploring death in modern warfare. As for whom the bell tolls, it's all of us, being bounded together. It's all of them who the bell tolls for.

Any reference to the heavy metal song, signs of bells, or even death, it marks this box for sure. Sure, it may be trolling, but hey, anything's possible.

Not So Different

With Four and Puzzles being Narrative Foils(TM), I've been waiting for a scene of Puzzles telling Four:

"You and I, we aren't so different. You wished to make people happy. I'm simply doing the same..."

It also be in reverse with Four OR Three telling that to Mr Puzzles that they get where he's coming from but he doesn't have to go down this path. They know what it's like. Whether Puzzles accepts defeat/change, it'll be up to him.

(Ending) Twist — me, /porschas-palette

At the very end of WOTFI, Mr Puzzles finally came out in all this glory of a model, showing he also pulled the strings of WOTFI 2023. Aside from IGBP and Western Spaghetti, of course. It's likely to happen again. Old/new characters, foreshadowing, fake death. It all counts.

Merch

...I mean, it's pretty obvious, right? I'm gonna bet on a poster, shirt/hoodie, a keychain, and something related to the WOTFI ticket. 5 bucks, all in.

Star Rating System

This whole arc constantly comes back to the ratings. Mr Puzzles in the negatives in the "Lowest Point" episode, Mickey referring the single star as the power source in the Engine Room in "Mr Puzzles' Clubhouse". And no, we're not going to forget about the broken star Mr Puzzles had left at the end of Puzzlevision. With Mr Puzzles being THE power source, it has to come back.

Sacrifice — me, /sardix, /porschas-palette

"Character Death" and "Character Fake Death" were great suggestions. But then, when sardix stated "Mario saves the day doing something stupid/protects someone from dying", it made me realize something. That's right, each one of the Crew would do anything to protect the others. Even if it costs them their lives. But it's worth the risk if it means they're safe. Three technically did in the "Welcome to Puzzle Park" episode, trying to warn Four and Mario. I mentioned in my theories that someone will sacrifice themselves, so this might be it.

It could also mean in terms of the exchange of something else, not necessarily a life. It could be Meggy's physical condition, knowing that she was forced to become Leggy again. Based on all those screams, I think her body's not going to be the same. A loss of a limb or something. Or perhaps, after seeing what he's done, Mr Puzzles might admit defeat. The sacrifice of his dream for creative vision.

Tender Tunnel — me, Nicc

What other reason would there be to have the equivalent of the Tunnel of Love in Puzzle Park? Literally, why would they do that? They could've put anything else in there. Popping balloon stand, the horse racing game, any other ride. Why this? And not just that, they keep pointing the camera right at it as if they're like "hey, this is going to become relevant later, so remember it".

SMG4 Kids

This whole arc also revolved around the children. Karen's kids, Beeg4, Eggdog, JubJub. Like I said in my "The Unexpected Guests" theory, they could still be relevant here. Also, the whole Didney thing and their large kid audience and the carnival being fun for kids (and all ages ofc).

Puzzles Dies 💀 — Nicc

As much as some of us don't want it to happen, Mr Puzzles may die, similarly how Wren did. For how to defeat Puzzles, it seems like the Crew would have to destroy the power source that's currently controlling the park... aka Mr Puzzles

Meggy Confronts

By the near end of WOTFI, in the final showdown between the Crew and Puzzles, Meggy might be back to normal and might have a few words with him in regards to what happened to her. In song or pure dialogue, she might confront him about his wrongdoings.

Or perhaps, for the very first time, Leggy might defy him. The whole time, Leggy is like "Join the winning team, he was such a great boss". And what if something snapped in Leggy that made her say "no" to Puzzles? That, no, this is going too far. No, I can't let you do this.

"You Saved Me" 💫 💣 — me, /sardix

SMG4 x SMG3 shippers, we're all too familiar with this line. Ever since SMG3 redeemed himself, the two have constantly said this line, after one indeed does save the other. Actually, it kind of happens in every movie if you think about it. And it works just as well here.

SMG3 being in a horrible minigame trap might get saved by Four and Mario with Four pulling out of it,

Three: "You... saved me?" Four: "Why wouldn't I? You were literally in a trap, dude." Three, hitting the back of Four's head: "I... Augh, just forget it, baka."

OR in reverse, when Four thanks Three for trying to save him and Mario. They didn't exactly escape in time but Three really has grown to become a true friend.

This box also works as a "Four and Three moment that can be seen as romantic" box :)

Brand New Look

This could be new outfits, bringing back old ones (like Three's bunny ears or WOTFI '23 suits), a new Puzzle face, or a new look of the Puzzle Park.

Puzzles Tune

Puzzles' musical motif dubbed as "TV Time", the one we're all familiar with, could come back. Either in the background, as a new arrangement, or as part of the Rap(TM) instrumental. It did that for WOTFI 2023 to foreshadow his subtle involvement so I don't see why it couldn't happen.

Dynamic Change

After rewatching "SMG4 and SMG3 come up with an episode", I predicted that something would change in Four and Three's dynamic, for better or worse. (For better, hopefully). As I said, it could be Three's revelation. Sure, the episode is a silly one, it should not be taken so seriously. But it's also the same episode that "hinted" the idea of a carnival coming to the Showgrounds, so anything could happen at this point.

And it doesn't have to be between Four and Three, it could be anyone in WOTFI. Leggy and Puzzles, the Crew within, etc.

Leggy's Flag

As shown in the "Lowest Point" episode, Mr Puzzles kept Leggy's flag after all this time. It wouldn't be a surprise that it might be used for a turning point in the plot in some way. Maybe it could be used as evidence of Puzzles' humanity, or for Puzzles to realize the damage he has caused. That he lost himself. All for creative vision.

BLANK CARD

If you want to fill in your own card, I leave here a blank version for your use AND a marker png:

Also, feel free to post this on other platforms, the more the merrier. All I ask from you is to credit me.

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

Have fun with it, bring in your moots or discord server! But as always, enjoy what WOTFI has to offer. "Love always wins", after all.

I would like to give a big thanks to everyone who has given me suggestions, great job honestly!

And feel free to share your cards after WOTFI either by tagging me or using #wotfi 2024 bingo, I would love to see them! I'll see you all on the other side, my dear fellows.

[hiwelcometothemonstersancturary]

Do you have ideas for how the Angel and The Prototype ship would occur and progress? (Like, who would get feelings for who first, who would they get advice from, how the toys would react, if it would be an even bigger romcom than Dogday and Catnap…)

FINALLY, MY TIME HAS ARRIVED.

Angel x Prototype in the Everyone Is Saved AU first starts after Angel finds a nice house for all the toys to live in. After everyone is moved out and settled in, Catnap convinces Prototype to leave the abandoned factory. Prototype reluctantly agrees, making sure to grab every single document he can find with him. I know Prototype is known by the authorities because Angel had to tell them about him, but not by the general public. When he leaves Playtime, it's a very quick and effective escape and into a small hut outside the farm.

This new place is way smaller than Playtime, physically wise, but it feels so much better in every way possible. Prototype is weirded out by everything at this point, even the sound of the toys playing with each other and talking like normal kids and young adults would do instead of trying to hunt each other for food like before. Elliot's mind is full, all the memories from the toys he absorbed together with his own, and now his brain finally has time to work out through the +10 years of trauma. He dissociates a lot, his hallucinations get weirder, all the good stuff about dealing with trauma, and the only ones who are there for him are Catnap and Angel.

Oh, Angel...

So we all can agree that Angel is also suffering from PTSD, right? And on top of that, they're taking care of +80 kids! Yeah some of them are young adults, but from Angel's POV those are still THEIR kids, and they have no idea how they work. Except Prototype does, and thus their relationship evolves from merely two adults desperate to give a better life to monster toys to two adults having no fucking idea what they're supposed to do for them. Prototype feels like he will never be able to repay for his sins, Angel feels like they'll never be able to provide everything the kids need. So one day Angel stays up late in Prototype's hut just talking about the toys, with Proto/Elliot also talking about them, and the two just go "this feels so overbearing, right?", and the other agrees.

When Prototype's relationship with Catnap finally gets better when they have some important conversations about the decade-long post Hour of Joy, there's a notable shift in his behavior, because now that he feels like he has his kid back it's like things can indeed be better. Cue to Angel getting better at dealing with the other toys, and as months go by their bond becomes stronger and more than just "hey the kids gave me a lot of work today and I need to drink/smoke, i'll stay at your hut so I won't be a bad example to them".

The really good stuff hits only after Poppy finds out that Prototype = Elliot Ludwig = her actual dad, because it's Angel grabbing Proto around and going "TALK. WITH. YOUR. KIDS", and it's the first time in decades since someone ever did that to him, because who in their right mind would bicker with a monster like HIM? And then Angel does exactly that. Smacks him with a newspaper and demands him to get his shit together instead of spiraling further into depression.

Somewhere during the months where Prototype is being promoted to parent #2 by each toy, one by one, is when Angel realizes that their friendship is getting a bit Funky(tm), but they just. Ignore it. Two years post-Playtime Co. go by and Angel is just there like "what I feel for parent #2 is entirely platonic and I do not think of him as anything else than a friend at all hahaha it would be weird right. Because he still talks to me about how he misses his wife (they divorced each other +70 years ago) and how he feels like he failed literally everyone important to him. I mean he didn't fail me what I see is just a guy struggling to be better and honestly I'm worse than him and- oh wait What" until like, they go to a family trip and Prototype decides to stay behind to watch over the farm, and Angel misses him way more than they think they would just miss a dear friend, and it's not just because he helps them with the kids.

Anyways Angel is panicking in all levels except physical when one day Prototype is talking with Catnap and Poppy (they're having a three-toy "tea party" because Pop wanted them to have a small family gathering) and she looks at him in the eye(s) and says "dad, are you sure you don't feel anything else for Angel?", and Proto is just "why are you asking me that???". Cue to Catnap staring at him like

And then Prototype realizes it's not very normal kind of platonic two months later when Angel, as per usual, is called by a scammer. And, as per house protocol, all the toys immediately go to the living room as Angel says "hold up, can you talk to my husband for a moment?" and gives Prototype the phone and tells him to do his thing and annoy the scammer. And Prototype feels weirdly a tiny bit too happy about pretending to be someone else's husband.

At this point the other toys are eyeing the two of them and going "no way..." as the two IDIOTS show them that yeah, yeah, they're witnessing the second romcom of the house, after Catnap and Dogday's telenovela-level worthy levels of drama. Some of them, like Kickin and Dogday himself, think it's no big deal, just two people being friendly, that's all, and then some time later Prototype accidentally sleeps over Angel's room during a thunderstorm (Angel is afraid he'll get struck by lightning so he stays in the main house for safety), and Angel, a genius Made In Brazil, decides to sleep in their room anyways because why not, Proto is just giving free teddybear vibes.

Proto wakes up and just accepts his fate (he's happy with that). Angel is half-asleep and very content with the setup.

... Anyways. Next day goes by, surprise surprise, the family's cuddle pile for movie night now has Prototype added to it, and it's not because Angel sleeps better when he's around. Nope.

Poppy and Catnap are considering start doing some bets to see how long it'll take their parents to realize It's Not Normal Platonic Anymore(TM) at this point, and are unimpressed when Prototype goes to them, sighs, and agrees that Poppy indeed was right. Meanwhile Angel has NO IDEA what to do because it's Prototype/Elliot, no way they have a chance, they'll just end up ruining their little weird family structure, and Dogday and Mommy Long Legs calm them down.

Bobby Bearhug and Craftycorn are working with the other toys to see if they can make Angel realize they need to do something, because Prototype is NOT going to do ANYTHING because his therapy is going strong but his communication issues are stronger. Hoppy and Picky know all about it and try to make Prototype do something about it, while Kickin and Bubba are Dissapointed But Not Surprised at the Situationship going on. "Guess Dogday and Catnap aren't the only ones with communication issues...", they agree, not realizing they also have communication issues. Mommy Long Legs is losing her fucking mind because HOW can one household have SO MANY IDIOTS RUNNING AROUND AND WHY ARE HER ADOPTIVE PARENTS LIKE THAT. AAAAAA. It's good drama tho.

Poppy tasks herself with keeping tabs on what's happening between her two parents. Catnap is watching in the background like "stop being so dramatic over this, Pop, they're working adults, they sure can talk". He may or may have not be gathering information to share with the old ladies at the church he goes to, because those girls LOVE Angel and are all curious as to how their relationship with the kids' "second parent" going. Catnap never tells them much asides from "my mother is, once again, terrible at communication, but has been doing well", but even he starts getting a bit impatient at one point.

Prototype and Angel's big telenovela-level worthy of romance drama lasts a few months, mostly because they both need lots of time with themselves in order to figure out what to do, and also mostly because at some point Angel is pretty content with just being Prototype's non queerplatonic/romantic partner. They're just going with the flow, initial anxiety being left behind and all of that.

Also Angel is a really big freaking dumbass, because Prototype's way of affection is through pampering, and he has been pampering Angel for MONTHS at this point and our human just didn't notice it's not platonic pampering. Prototype gets them more than one flower bouquet and Angel is just "oh this will be very nice for the house, Bobby and Long Legs love red roses!", and he keeps giving them the bouquets because it makes Angel happy, thus making him happy.

No, Elliot doesn't realize Angel is also stupid. He just tries to flirt like it's the 1930s while Angel is flirting like "haha what if we were married. Just kidding! Unless...?"

I think Angel doesn't exactly confess to Prototype in a traditional way. One night they're both chilling at either the hut or Angel's room after a long day and Angel gathers the courage to ask him what they even are. "You're the children's Parent, and I am Elliot Ludwig". Angel reworks their question to be "I don't think we're just platonic friends anymore".

"Do you want to be more?", Prototype asks, hopeful. Angel pauses, then agrees. "Then we can be more". After some talk they settle on either queerplatonic or romantic - I don't know which one would work best, but I think they aren't just platonic or just romantic. Angel and Prototype understand and respect each other a lot, and their relationship, for me, can't be defined with a simple "it's romance" definition. They're just them, and that's what matters.

Also Prototype goes "I WAS TRYING TO GET YOUR ATTENTION FOR MONTHS!" and Angel goes "I WAS REFERRING TO YOU AS MY HUSBAND ALL THE TIME AND YOU JUST THOUGHT I WAS JOKING AND BEING A SMARTASS????"

... Also Angel can wear a ring now! Prototype as well. They tell the kids about their new Situationship and Poppy very happily says "I won our bet!" to Catnap. Everyone else is glad for their parents but also their real-life telenovela is no more..,....

Anyways, I think this post is getting too long, I may share hcs about how their relationship works later, if anyone is interested!

[tyrantisterror]

Top ten favorite Orcs? Either specific characters or a given setting’s take on the species as a whole.

I'm not sure I have enough strong feelings about Orcs to really make an interesting list of ten, but what the hell I'll try.

Tolkien's orcs - not just LOTR orcs, but specifically orcs as written by J.R.R. Tolkien - are pretty high up there for me. I've probably mentioned this more than enough on this blog, but I'm still moved by the moment in The Lord of the Rings where we get this conversation between two orcs when their bosses aren't around, where both of them commiserate with each other about how shitty being drafted into Sauron's war is, how they long to go back to their simpler life as mountain bandits, and how, maybe, if they could find a way to escape being caught by their superiors, they could run off and find someplace far from the war to settle down together. Their names are Shagrat and Gorbag, and later in the book one of the heroes finds them among a pile of dead orcs, their dream of a simpler life tragically unfulfilled. I bring this up because, for all the flak Tolkien's cosmology gets for codifying the fantasy trope of "Always Chaotic Evil" races, there's a lot more moral complexity to his "evil" races than most people think. The orcs we meet in his stories are universally pretty nasty people - even Gorbag and Shagrat can't conceive of a simple life that doesn't involve killing people for their valuables - but it's very clear this is a result of the culture they are living in, which, if you get nerdy and read up on the Lore (TM), is one that has been specifically designed by the Middle Earth equivalent of Satan to turn all living things in it into tools of warfare - a world that exists solely to serve as a vast machine of industrialized conquest and mass murder. And it makes them miserable. Orcs don't like living this way, even though it's the only way they know how to live. They are at once victim and villain, and that's explicitly the canon way to look at them in the text. So it kind of sucks that their reputation in pop culture - and how they're presented in most adaptations, including good ol' PJ's film trilogy - is as one-dimensional evil henchmen, because they do have more going on than that in the books themselves, and it enriches the themes of the story when those dimensions are included.

The orcs in Rune Factory are probably my favorite from a design standpoint. I'm kind of neutral at best with the standard "green skinned humans with optional tusks" look of most orcs. There's nothing wrong with it, but it doesn't thrill me either, existing in the same nebulous space as, like, traditional fantasy elves, dwarves, and hobbit expies - I understand why they're classics, but they feel kind of boring when you've got other options on the table. So seeing these guys when I booted up my first Rune Factory game was a revelation - finally, orcs that look INTERESTING! And they're so cute, these gnarly little Jim Hensen/Brian Froud style pig people. And they'll help you water your plants! A+ Tier orcs as far as I'm concerned.

Dungeon Meshi found a good middle ground between "gnarly boar people" and "humans with tusks" that I really like, and while the orcs aren't given a whole lot of focus, what world building we do get about them is pretty great, taking a lot of the classic orc tropes and giving them that Ryoko Kui caliber thought and detail that makes them so wonderful.

What else... well, ok, my brain still categorizes these guys as "goblins" rather than "orcs," but since the two are more or less synonymized in both Tolkien and the Rankin Bass adaptations of his work, I guess I can include them. They're one of my favorite designs for goblins of all time, and since I generally like goblins more than orcs, I guess this makes them my favorite orc design by default? I just love them, nasty little toad people.

The 1980 Return of the King movie in particular is one of the few adaptations that keeps Tolkien's sympathy for the orcs in tact, with Frodo even having a dream sequence about living in a world where his run in with orcs is fully pleasant, each of them waving at each other as they cross paths, content to share a beautiful world together.

And while it adapts the parts of the text that take place after the deaths of poor Shagrat and Gorbag, it still manages to work in a moment where the orcs lament their lot in life by way of the infamous "Where There's a Whip There's a Way" song written just for the film. I know this song is generally viewed as "bad" and corny and whatever, fuck that, I unironically love it. It's my wakeup alarm for workdays. I am these orcs five days out of the week.

What else...

So, like, kind of a cheat I suppose, but the Darkspawn in Dragon Age take a lot of cues from Tolkien's take on orcs, right down to seeming like they're just always chaotic evil at first glance, and also being the product of Supernatural Crimes Against Nature by semi-divine powers. And indeed, in Dragon Age Origins you're basically given no reason to view them as anything but evil obstacles to destroy, especially when you learn the body-horror involved in how they reproduce (it's more in the vein of Slither than Goblin Slayer, for those unaware - grotesque but, thankfully, not in that way).

But the big ol' DLC for the same game, called Dragon Age Awakening, throws a big monkey wrench in that view of them. We meet Darkspawn who are capable of speech - ones that have been broken free of the evil hivemind their species is ruled by, and, like freed borg drones, are now at a loss of what to do with themselves. They are, like Tolkien's orcs before them, a people who were made for war and violence, and yet still crave something more than that when given the chance to think about it. It's something that hasn't been followed up on much since, sadly, but it's a damn cool take.

What else...

I'm probably the only person who still remembers this movie, especially with any fondness, but I liked the orcs in the Warcraft movie directed by David Bowie's son. They were given a lot of nuance and I honestly think their parts of the film were by the far the best. Actually I remember liking that movie a lot despite some of its pacing issues, I should revisit it.

Ok that's not ten takes but I feel like there are at least 10 designs on display here so I'm calling this done.

[crimeronan]

On the topic of Luz trying to find every ethical legal non-murdery way she can of messing with Amity's parents.

I'm just imagining her staying up at night, trying to think of *evil plans tm* to mess with them (she's being very serious about it, note book on the bed like she's a normal teenager doing normal homework and all) but when she gets Hunter to double check her ideas he is grossly disappointed in the most loving and positive way because he knows how Luz is.

Hunter was hoping for burning down the factory or throwing them in prison on trumped up charges. But he looks through it and it's all relatively reasonable legal reforms.

Stuff like workplace health and safety laws (with inspectors instructed to place Blight Industries under constant scrutiny), shifting the tax burden to wealthy over the poor (with perhaps slightly obsessive auditing from the BI version tax office) ending the contract to buy murder robots from them to cut off one of their key sources of income. Raising the minimum wage and granting workers significantly more rights. Passing a law singling them out by name giving Darius the power to shut them down at any point for inspections if he deems their products to be of poor quality.

Odalia and Alador (mostly the former) only really care about prestige, power and wealth, and Luz wants to hurt them by taking all of that away in a way only a wise and beloved ruler can. Just pulling out all the stops a reasonable-ish government can to screw over a business empire and erode its reputation in the eyes of the public. Whilst avoiding all of the dictatorial associations of just having them disappeared.

Imagining what might happen if Amity finds this notebook, she doesn't say anything, she just adds more notes on other laws and ideas that would burn their fortune to the ground.

(sorry if this is too long and rambly)

this is hilarious. hunter is like "i can't believe you aren't even Blackmailing them" and luz is like "it hurts more to strip their power in broad daylight." hunter's like "these are all legitimately good reforms. but if you wanted to be evil you could just arrange an 'accident,' you don't have to be moral about it" and luz is like "why would i kill them. if they're dead then they don't get to see their empire crumble"

hunter, raising an eyebrow: i see you're feeling Really Normal about belos today.

luz, swatting at him: MY DESIRE FOR SUFFERING HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HIMMM >:( LET!! ME!! BE!!! EVIL!!!!!

[melodybottles]

ok happy wip wmonday this is mostly rune factory ft. one (1) romijuli. most of these did not escape the sketch phase (and the two that did... did not get far, as pictured) but they're all things i had intent to complete at some point.

commentary is below the cut if anyone is curious about my thoughts on anything i've drawn here

for piece commentary..... well first off i also had a shara/sofia sketch that got corrupted bc sai loves doing that at random and it's part of why i want to move away from using it :-( second off

(drops to my knees) PLEASEP PLEASE PLEASE.... CONSIDER PIA/RAVEN..... PLEEEEEEEASE oh the things i could say about those two regarding their own isolation / alienation due to being nonhuman and how despite the fact they've both found a place for themselves they still feel Othered and Lonely at the core. i think they could work on that together once raven gets out of her shell a little bit. the meeting of sea and sky. fire and water. please understand. (the one w raven in bird form is actually even based on the caelum et ocean story set from love nikki bc it made me think of them LOL)

dolce/forte is also like... please consider them. there's something really funny about the knight who's afraid of ghosts and the ghost whisperer. but i also think they have really compatible personalities and forte's generally headstrong nature could go well with dolce's quieter way of doing things. i think dolce would find flustering her funny. but not in like... a harassing way. just in a way where she knows how to make her blush a little bit. i like them

romijuli..... well you see (i open my mouth and begin screaming) (i do not stop screaming) (if you listen closely enough you can detect a garbled string of sounds that loosely translates to 'READ PERFORMANCE')

for the 5 doodles.... priscilla ended up being my favourite rf5 girl to my immense surprise LOL so i developed a habit of sketching her a lot in 2022. fat priscilla. please understand. reblog. i also really liked priscilla/lucy at first bc they're like... obvious, and while my interest in them waned for various reasons (one being a lamentation that they'd become The One Femslash Pairing^tm of the game where people don't really consider anything else bc they have that one...) i still like that doodle.

and lastly. ray and alicia r my favourite sibling steup in all of rf and i think they're both transgender. i hope this helps. (idk solidly what direction i see ray as trans in but whatever the case. ray is not cis to me. love and light)

[desultory-novice]

As fun as The Angst(tm) is, I really hope the Dead People Gang aren't just, like. Trapped in Turbohell Kirbohell forever. For some reason, my thoughts instantly went to Void Termina - Since Void Termina is implied to be reincarnated as a good guy after their defeat as Void, I thought it would be interesting if they got a glimpse of everyone hanging out in the afterlife between the "blowing up" part and coming back as not-as-evil. Plus, now I've got a really funny mental image of that coming up in casual conversation Kirby/Meta/Dedede/some other protagonist and Kirby finding out and deciding "sounds like more potential friends! time to go to hell" to try and (somehow) save them

My own brain was putting a Charlie & the Chocolate Factory style spin on it. They CAN all come back, just...

Sectonia: ...once the Dream Stalk goes to seed

Max: ...once his brain is finished defragging (...or see Seto Kaiba in the manga version of Yugioh)

Magolor: ...when someone succeeds in breaking the crown

Marx: ..."User 'Marx' can rejoin the game in 87,600 hours"

Links to the rest of the mini-series:

Part 1″A Beautiful Sunset” Part 2 “The Sun Never Sets” Part 3 “Screams of Joy”  Part 4 “Visitors” Part 5 “A Perfect Circle”

Relevant: “Conditional” [You Are Here]

--

That said, your bit at the end about "Let's go to hell and rescue everyone!" is partially why I followed this story to its current, silly (?) conclusion! I know it's sounded / looked / been depressing, especially for poor, poor, poor Magolor, but I meant what I said in the tags about drawing this helping me get over some of my own True Arena-induced trauma......

(continued below)

<PS: To the Anon who asked about the Void beach pic? Your answer is here too! Sorry to make you go through all this to find it!!>

...Ahem!

I -liked- the idea of Mags and Marx having come back from their Soul experiences and have used it as fuel, but it honestly bugged me that they seemed to survive when Sectonia and Marx were still MiA...from the same thing? (I get that Max's brain is DELETED but what about his body? I always imagined that even though Star Dream blew up, the "pilot's seat" so to speak was preserved. But...

Basically, even if I could come up with reasons why the other two "didn't" survive, I could never come up with a reason why Magolor and Marx DID outside of "popular characters." ...Not to be too hypocritical, as I'm a dedicated fan of said "popular characters")

But there being a version of Magolor Soul who doesn't "get better" weirdly makes me feel quite a bit better about the other Soul victims. Because... maybe we could be building up to something with them? Maybe there IS a chance for them to come back now, or be saved, like you said. If they're all kinda in the same way...??

(Heck, I probably would have added Galacta as a visitor to the superhell-theme park if I had ANY experience with drawing them.)

Speaking of "the same way" the reason I'd always assumed Marx followed the pre-remake Mago path because they were both in Star Allies, but if there's a version of Magolor who isn't saved, I've started to think that True Arena Marx Soul (:cough: the only form of Marx Soul :cough:) wasn't saved either. Which is both very sad but also, gives me the same sense of hope/unity as the above!

I had a legit "...aww, darn...!" moment last night as I was finishing this up when I realized Fecty's soul was safely under Efly's care and they wouldn't be able to join the theme park enjoyers... Of course, the very idea of an Attraction to delight and amaze would probably trigger Fecty's trauma, putting them in a worse state than Magolor.

Void's also not available to go to the park, sadly.

Speaking of...!

Here you go, anon!

[revalentine2]

Forecast: Steven! - Team Objective plays Pokemon Emerald

With these two at my side, the oceans and skies can no longer stand in my way!

Hello, loyal members of Team Objective! Last time, we crossed the waves and reformatted the team going forward! This time, we head east of Mauville to finally see what's up ahead.

In the time between, I've gained enough fundings to outfit the team with some TM moves. Wish I had more, but we are...still pretty scrapped for cash.

(...I'll need solid funding if this is to be a serious endeavor...)

WHATEVER! Steven's here. let's see what he wants!

...Steven, you've met me, right? Of COURSE I'm only going to use my favorites! Object pokemon are my entire identity!

Ignore the HM user Marill.

Uh, sure? Will you have better pokemon than birds in suits of armor by then? Gotta say, your lineup has been pretty disappointing.

This jungle is quite beautiful, but really doesn't have what I'm looking for. We're here for objects, not objectively beautiful scenery!

Team Aqua's raining this weather institute! And they just threatened to KILL ME!

Fat chance!

I know I am! You're disgustingly weak!

Team Magma again, too? Heading for Mt. Pyre...I think I've heard of that. It's the local pokemon gravesite, like the Lost Tower back home. If that's the case, it's worth a look...

Wha-HUH? They're giving me a pokemon!?

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY GOD IT'S ABORABLE.

The scientists are filling me in about this thing! A pokemon MADE by science? It's like Porygon! And it manipulates the WEATHER...It's body is made of cells like water molecules! It's basically a living cloud! I love it!

Sadly, my team doesn't really have the space for Castform at the moment. I wonder if Dad would like it? Maybe I'll send it over.

Oh, it's Bozo again. He was really strong last time we fought, quite the roadblock actually-but we've grown exponentially since then! Let's crush him.

Not even worth commenting on. Loser.

HA! I made him mad! Wait, who are you again? Eh, who cares.

This region keeps nailing it with its environments. I don't think I could live in a place where bugs fly in the window every day, though. Give me a volcanic cave or a polluted factory any time.

Let's not waste our time here. We can probably wrap up gym number six today-

...

W H A T.

I...guess we go forward, then?

That pokemon looks even more like a beach ball than marill, but I can tell it's a whale. A mammal masquerading as a fish masquerading as an object. How strange.

Oh, hello again Steven. What's that, you want me to prove myself against...one of these invisible things? Well, that's fortuitous. Still, we've known each other this long and I still have no idea what you're all about other than being the kid of a CEO.

Anyway. I hope this invisible pokemon is a ghost! Maybe it's possessing something cool?

Oh it's a lizard. Whatever. Hey. 'Splodey, wanna use your namesake?

Glorious.

And with that, we now have the means to enter the next gym! Turns out we didn't need Steven's thing after all and the lizards still die if you explode near them. Cool! Uuuuuuunfortunately, I've ran all out of time for today. Oh well. Next time it is!

Team Objective, because Object pokemon are Objectively the best!

Team: StepStone the Graveler (F) Skybomb the Koffing (F) Sungaze the Solrock Iris the Baltoy 'Splodey the Electrode Maximum the Magneton

...

He liked it :)

[darkx-the-dragon-kn1ght]

Chapter 26- Part 15

But I'll admit, going back and forth like this is a bit…cumbersome. It works, sure, but it just seems like a lot of extra steps. I just wonder how Abra isn't able to teleport away itself, or teleport Pokémon out of the cages- is it young and inexperienced with its powers?

I also wonder why Xera can't just use her party Pokémon for this? She still has them, they weren't confiscated. Crater's Lava Plume, Riptide's Water Gun, Kirin's Zen Headbutt…wouldn't that work just the same without a puzzle?

Finally! Freedom! Let's see- is that guard still asleep, even with the metal being broken apart?

Yes he is! He'd probably try to battle us if he was awake, but it looks like we can skip that fight. Now then, let's see these hallways!

Hm, well there's a doorway, but it's kinda blocked…can we still go inside of it, though?

Oh, we can- and it looks like Flash is actually working now.

A lot of engines, by the looks of it. What is this room? Big power source? General generator room?

AH! PULSE READ-OUT! GIMME THAT!

Ahahaha, let's give this a read!

Uh, hold on, that's new- “Move Tutor”? Must've been added in a recent update. What's this all about?

…Okay, good talk. Let's check that Dex entry now.

“Systematic Contamination”... I remember seeing a file like that back in Mosswater, yeah.

What're they trying to contaminate, though? The air? The water? It's just a pure Poison-type like normal Muk, that doesn't give many hints. 

What's interesting about this though is its Ability, Protean. So it'll change its type throughout the battle as it uses different moves? There are ways to deal with that, of course, but without knowing its moveset it's hard to go in with a concrete plan. I could start with Glare, but beyond that…who knows.

However, there's something else to this, namely its ungodly Special Defense. Holy crud, look at that green bar! However, all of its other stats are quite middling in comparison, especially its Defense. So what I'm getting from this is to avoid using special attacks (if possible) and try to use physical moves as often as possible.

Ah, there's a TM too- I wonder if there's a way to get it by continuing down this way.

Ah! Long ominous hallway! No thank you, we'll come back to that- 

But no way to get to that TM from here. So what about the other way? Is there another passage?

There is, very nice. Now let's see that move!

Echoed Voice? Not what I was expecting, I thought it would be some kinda Electric or Steel move.

Regardless, let's check this last hallway, in case there's anything important…

Oh, this room wasn't scary at all, it's quite nice! Although I would have preferred an actual Magnet instead of this…Magnet Powder stuff.

Now then- up those stairs, and into the rest of the facility!

Oh hey, a guy who's not dressed in a gray and black jumpsuit! I'm sure he's no less evil, though!

Though, it looks like there's a good chunk more to this building, and I'm not sure I'll be able to get to all of it this time, especially with Pokémon battles in between. So, in the name of making sure this chapter isn't super long and overwhelming…

I'm gonna cut it off here! That way, we'll have all the time in the world next chapter to explore Blacksteam Factory in full, with everything that entails. Beating up more Meteors, finding Cain, destroying the PULSE, and hopefully getting revenge on Ace for their bamboozling! It'll be pretty exciting next chapter, I have no doubt, so I hope you'll all join me for it! See you then!

CURRENT TEAM:

Riptide

Species: Feraligatr

Gender: Male

Level: 40

Ability: Sheer Force*

Item: Quick Claw

Brave nature; Alert to sounds.

Glare

Species: Arbok

Gender: Female

Level: 39

Ability: Intimidate

Item: Protective Pads

Naughty nature; Highly curious.

Bloom

Species: Roserade

Gender: Male

Level: 40

Ability: Technician*

Item: Big Root 

Docile nature; Alert to sounds.

Prong

Species: Vikavolt

Gender: Female

Level: 40

Ability: Levitate

Item: Insect Plate

Rash nature; Loves to eat.

Crater

Species: Camerupt

Gender: Female

Level: 40

Ability: Magma Armor

Item: Quick Claw

Hardy nature; Often scatters things.

Kirin

Species: Girafarig

Gender: Female

Level: 39

Ability: Sap Sipper*

Item: Odd Incense

Quirky nature; Thoroughly cunning.

CURRENT BOXES: INFORMATION UNAVAILABLE

NUMBER OF RELOADS: 19

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[elvenbeard]

Did I stay up way too late making a fake screamsheet article? Yes. Did I have a blast? Hell yes. Finally a good use for what I learned at uni and never got to utilize in an actual job :D

The short story behind this really is simply that Vince and Kerry did want to keep their relationship out of the public eye for as long as possible, cause god knows they were dealing with enough shit at the time, didn't need curious paparazzi on top :D When the whole Arasaka/Relic mess had begun to calm down though, Vince slowly recovering, they started letting their guard down a bit more (although Vince remained worried that, should who he is exactly become public knowledge in Kerry's circles, it could reflect badly on him... or, even worse, get him into trouble with or the attention of the wrong kind of people). As we know though, Kerry likes dating Night City's bad boy TM, and is a lot more relaxed about it all - something that probably also comes with his age and everything else he's dealt with and made it through somehow already. So, at some point his current manager is like "okay you guys, work with me here, we have to make this public now. You're not being the most subtle and I'm kinda running out of ideas what to tell the medias to keep them at a distance". And after a press conference followed the above interview and photo op, and Vince hadn't felt as uncomfortable and sick to his stomach in a long while during the whole thing xD Kerry made sure though the media people left him alone. Over time he'd get used to it as well, for sure, because Kerry is certain that what they have will last and he's definitely off the market for good now.

Full interview text under the cut for better readability.

The rumors are true after all

Once voted one of Night City’s most sought-after bachelors, Kerry Eurodyne is off the dating market once again. “For good this time,” he says, and gives ShowBlizz an exclusive look behind the well-guarded scenes.

By Lacie Bourne | Published on December 3rd 2077, 6AM

For months the gossip factory has been working overtime. It all started with a custom Yaiba motorbike spotted coming and going regularly at the Eurodyne residence in North Oak. Ever since we’ve asked the same question: is someone new at Kerry’s side? One of Night City’s long-established rockstars, Kerry Eurodyne has been in the news in recent months more frequently again. A new album is in the works, a tour planned for 2078/79. But that’s not all that’s new and different, with his management officially confirming earlier this week that Kerry has a new partner.

Lacie: Good morning, Kerry, thanks so much for having us here at your home today for this exclusive interview!

Kerry: Pleasure’s all mine.

L: Let me cut straight to the point, because our readers will be dying to know: how long exactly has this been going on? And what are the reasons you’ve been hiding your obvious new luck for so long?

K: We first met in early June, through work you could say. We weren’t hiding as such, just keeping a low profile. Won’t be going into the details here, other than it just feelin’ right at the time.

L: Happy 6-month anniversary then! You already said it, you met through work. Rumors say he was, or maybe still is, part of your management team that organized the collab with UsCracks?

K: In a way you could say that, yeah. Without him that deal wouldn’t have worked out the way it did, definitely.

L: How exciting! What else can you tell us? Can we have a name, his age?

K: I’m afraid, no, you can’t. Not yet, at least.

L: How intriguing indeed… but I will take you up on that “not yet” by the time our next interview rolls around! Of course we would have liked to speak to your partner as well today, ask him all the burning questions our readers have directly…

K: Well, they’ll have to put up with me instead.

L: Hahaha, well then let’s get to our reader’s questions right away... During the official press conference earlier this week you said you’re “off the dating market… for good this time”. Responses to this were mixed, as you’d made a similar statement after the announcement of your engagement to Louise. What gvies you the confidence that this relationship will last, that this is different?

K: I’ve read the comments, and I don’t think I’ve ever used those words exactly in regards to Louise. Or in this context at least. And I’m not here to throw her under the bus either. What I can say is, that meeting my partner was… a revelation. In many ways. He’s supportive in a way I haven’t experienced with anyone else yet, and god knows I’m not the easiest person to handle. He’s doing a preem job at it. Lifting me up, and grounding me in the here and now at the same time.

L: That does sound almost too perfect, doesn’t it?

K: Maybe it does, but it’s true. He brings out the best in me, inspires me to do what I’m best at: making fucking good music. He makes me very happy, more than he thinks himself.

L: Well, of course we wish you all the best and that you stay as happy together as you very obviously are!

K: Thanks, ‘preciate it.

L: What does your future together look like you think? What are your long-term goals and plans?

K: We like to take things a day at a time. He is a very busy man, as am I. Sometimes planning too far ahed only gets frustrating when things don’t work out short notice. Carefully, tentatively though, a vacation is planned. We could both use a little getaway. Been an eventful year, and next year’s gonna be even busier.

L: Where are you headed, if you’re willing to share?

K: The Phillipines, and afterwards maybe Japan.

L: If those aren’t the perfect destinations for a romantic getaway! I hope all will work out as planned, you deserve it, Kerry!

K: Haha, yeah, think so. He deserves it, too.

L: Of course! We wish you all the best. And we hope to see more of you two together in the future, now that you’ve finally let the cat out of the bag. You’re certainly a breathtaking couple!

K: Thanks, Lacie.

Read the full, unabridged interview only on NETDIR://NCITY.SHOWBLIZZ.PUB

[randomnameless]

What do you think about the Leicester Alliance? Despite the instability regarding the Riegan house and their heir it seems to me like it's the least fucked up of the three countries

Oh!

I wanted to make a more detailed reply but I don't think I'll have the time before forgetting it lol

But in general, the Alliance suffers from the FE franchise's lack of interest in what I previously called "merchant republics". Let it be Jugdral's Miletos or Magvel's Carcino, they just exist to be rolled over, sometimes they have "corrupt Nobles (tm)" and that's it.

Leicester seems to be in a similar position, even if, by virtue of being Claude's homeland it would be more developed, right?

Well, no, Claude talks more about Almyra and has stronger ties to that country, so whatever Leicester development or lore we could have is just, three supports here and there about "Corrupt Nobles (tm)", a land where wealth gains more and more importance (Marianne's dad became a member of the council bcs of this iirc?) and where old Houses keep on having an ancestral feud even if it dooms the Republic/Alliance (Gloucester wants to get rid of Riegan, and sacrifices Raph's parents in the process?).

So with the minimum world building we have about the Alliance, I wouldn't say it's the least fucked up, rather it's the less developed, so by extension they feel like they're in a better state than the Kingdom - heavily developed - and Adrestia - which is kind of in a similar boat as the Alliance, but since the content focuses on Enbarr and the War afterwards, it's swept up.

But for what we know,

The Roundtable, before Nopes, was made up of 5 great families and minor nobles, while not sitting, could have their voices heard or at least taken into consideration (as opposed to Clout's Federation).

The Alliance apparently heavily dislike having a central authority or a powerful person ruling over them all... But only 3 minor lords riot when "we bow to no Emperor and to no King" is farted upon by King Clout of the Federation...

Lorenz tells us faith is performative in the Alliance, but some people are devout believers, which leads to no one giving a fuck, in Nopes, about their country going for the kill against the Archbishop.

And more importantly...

In the Alliance, through Raphael and Ignatz, we learn there is a "bourgeoisie" class, people who aren't born nobles or anobled and yet who manage to thrive and, if not for Gloucester Sr's gambit, live quite well, despite the "Crust system!!!!" the scripts hammer.

Leonie is a commoner and is in debt (tfw rl catches up to you in a vg!). Her village pays taxes to their Lord (Gloucester) and in exchange this Lord offers them protection (by hiring Jerry) against poachers - which is both textbook Noblesse Oblige hardbaked in Lorenz's character, but also, some kind of weird example of a system based on feodality - vassal offers an "hommage" to his Lord (here taxes) and in return the Lord protects his vassal - with the twist that Leonie's dad isn't a knight or a feudal vassal (afaik?).

Also, from the unused trading post data, Riegan should have been famous for its factories?

In a way, it feels like Leicester's organisation could have been something very interesting to explore - it's completely at odds with the Empire and the Kingdom and much more fragmented - but as usual, the FE series don't really develop those "kingless" factions...

And of course, they couldn't develop the "merchant nation" more else the "Church BaD bcs IsOlAtIoNiSm" falls apart or the "Crust SyStEm" argument as to why Supreme Leader has to change the world falls too, Edmund sr is at the roundtable despite having no crest, the Ordelias never were at this roundtable despite having a crest (iirc?), Judith is a Hero of Leicester and has no Crust, Holst is beloved by the world and has no Crust, despite having no Crust Ignatz's parents are implied to be rich as fuck and living the best life, crustless!Leonie and her entire village are helped by the "nobility system" Supreme Leader vowed to erase, etc etc.

Acknowledging Leicester's existence as something more than "that place Clout and some people hail from" blows so many holes in the leitmotiv of the war - thus the twist "you should feel bad for fighting your former student" - that the writers, imo, prefered not to shed any light no it (+ the context with merchant republics!) that it's no surprising the few crumbs we have aren't developped.

And before Nopes, the Alliance was the only slither free place, so all the "bad stuff" that happened, like Raph's parents, can be blamed on regular people and not "they were brainwashed!!". Ordelia's a different situation, I know a lot of people support the "Lys got her present because crust system", but I always have doubts - Lys got her "present" because Adrestia (Ionius) believed they could infringe on Leicester's territory, and the Agarthans needed to test their "present making" before gifting one to the Hresvelgs.

With Nopes, the Alliance disappears under a King with no fanfare, some people follow Clout, they dgaf about the Church, and that's it. It's just a blank cardbox, removed of the few crumbs that made it different from the other cardboxes.

[edgyandoverzealous]

Dhmis Forced Family Headcannons pt 2

I apologize if this is incomprehensible, bad, or redundant I am actively fighting NyQuil and am slightly sick stolll

• They are all prone to nightmares. Stuck in what essentially is, a horrific and violent time loop, who wouldn't be? Even if they didn't quite remember it.

• These nightmares either lead to intense paranoia of one another and a blow up fight. Orrr they end up super paranoid to the world around them and cling to each other like glue

• In the latter Duck won't go to work or answer (nor will he let anyone else) the phone. On the days where he was the only one with nightmares he will go as far to break the phone entirely and plop himself and Yellow into Red's lap on Red's chair tm.

• In the latter Red will quite literally slam the door in any visitors or teachers faces. Think "and we live in an actual NIGHTMARE" as well as "bye, BYE" levels of anger. He'll also refuse to be separated from Yellow (we call it papa bear instincts) and Duck if he's able to convince Duck to stay home. This is mainly due to Roy trauma and not wanting anything horrible to happen to them when he's not around.

• Yellow in the latter tries to verbalize what's bothering him. To explain the nightmare and why he's so disturbed. But he has hella trouble doing that without words getting stuck and stumbling. This leads to him giving up with a simple "don't leave me alone" as he looks down. Red will, most of the time, comply to that request. Unless they had contracting nightmares in which case Yellow will probably end up yelled at locked in a room and a three way fight when Duck gets home.

• Duck is the CEO or Boss of some factory. He basically just does what Red did in the episode Work.

• Red Guy has to reign in the others at all times.

• Yellow Guy almost electrocuted himself on multiple occasions trying to put a fork in an outlet. When questioned he said his reflection told him to do it. They cover the mirrors for a few days.

• They always buy new batteries when they go shopping, they have an entire drawer full. No one knows what for or why. Sometimes Yellow will grab two and stare at them or try to eat them. Hilarity and fights ensue from the latter.

• Grumpy but cuddly Duck is reall. He acts as though he's inconvenienced by being cuddled by Red Guy when he is the one who plopped himself there. Same thing happens when he pulls Yellow in.

• Sometimes they fall asleep in Red Guy's chair watching TV and wake up incredibly uncomfortable.

• If Red Guy forgets/fails to properly clean the house while Duck is away. Duck will say something and without fail Red Guy will throw something related to the comment at Duck and the two will brawl unapologetically.

•Yellow Guy plays the Trumpet, piano, and banjo.

•Red Guy can play the Electric Guitar, Electric Bass, and the drums

• Duck sings

• The trio have music nights for family nights sometimes where they play and sing songs.

• Yellow Guy likes to do puzzles, play his instruments, and read comics on his more calm or neutral days. He also helps Red Guy tidy up and cook/bake. He likes to color and use Legos on more destructive days. Most of the time walls get drawn on, papers go everywhere, and Legos are scattered across the floor if he goes feral.

• The latter is the main cause of three way fights.

[hiwelcometothemonstersancturary]

Among the two parents, who is responsible for giving…The Talk™️?

Def Angel, Prototype doesn't remember even for how many months a person is usually pregnant anymore. They give the Talk(tm) the moment Delight goes to them and non-chalantly says "Angel dear, did you know that during pregnancy [medically accurate description of real life body horror]?", and Bunzo in the background stares at her in pure horror and accuses Delight of lying.

Angel has to sit everyone down because 5 seconds later half the house is watching in pure horror as Delight INSISTS that what she is saying are facts (they are) and Bunzo refuses to believe her. The sole human in the house has to explain to everyone that yes this all sounds scary and sometimes it is, but it's normal for people who want to have children to go through that process, its okay. Then Bunzo asks how do pregnant people put an entire factory inside their bellies in order to make a child. You know. Like how cars are made.

Angel tries explaining things the best way they can. "Human bodies are like that, dont worry", "two people can try having fun on their own like that and its normal", "yes Bunzo, some adults prefer doing that over watching a car race", "yes, there's nothing to worry about it as long as the people involved trust each other and go to a doctor if something weird happens", "see? Its not scare at all, just weird and a bit gross if you think too much about it", "yes Bunzo, there's doctors just for babies and people having them", "I dont go to a doctor like that because I cant have babies, and I dont want a baby. I have you guys as my babies now".

Overall the Talk is more amusing than anything because Bunzo has no idea how normal people work, and meanwhile we have toys like Dogday who are all "OH, this makes sense, yeah" because they too forgot how kids are normally born.

I think the only ones who knew about the birds and the bees were Bubba, Delight and Catnap (bc Delight told him). Angel feels relieved after the Talk because it went way smoother than what they expected it to be, and no one was too horrified or weirded out. Angel found out about that kind of stuff by accident and was just glad the toys got their info on an actual adult and not a random kid sharing cursed knowledge with their friends(tm)

[whumpsday]

I get that noble vampire families are Like That and they're what your story focuses on but. How about commoners families? Are they more Normal TM?

Thinking how humans used to keep chickens and pigs and other animals for food until fairly recently (we still do, but most of our meat comes from big farms and not like, a family keeping chickens and eating only what they raise), but still they befriended them/grew attached. And thinking about so many humans eating meat without thinking/purposefully ignoring the fact that they are eating a creature that was killed for them, technically.

Since commoner vampires generally eat bagged blood, are they the same level of being "unaware" of the fact that human blood comes from humans? How would a working class vamp react if they randomly inherited a human from their distant eccentric uncle who died with no close relatives/heirs?

(Apologies if you've been asked this before and for any mistakes in your lore - too many vampire media makes it hard to keep track)

Also sorry if this doesn't make much sense - I have acute brain wormitis tonight

great questions!!! :D sorry you've activated Fantasy Politics Mode

it varies! just like you'd find more conservative and more progressive people anywhere. nobility culture just tends heavily toward conservativism, and while vampire culture at large tends to be more conservative than whatever humans have going on, it's much more balanced outside the nobility, even among non-noble upper-class vampires (though in any society obviously you'll find more progressives in the working class).

more... 'traditional values' type vampires might have a mindset like "vampires are inherently superior to humans and it's fine for us to keep them as livestock", while liberal vampires might have a mindset like what you were talking about with how humans ignore the cruelty of factory farms because chicken yummy (this is the reason jim goes vegan post-escape. he can't help but think about it, now.) these two would probably be the most dominant mindsets.

much less common, but more progressive vampires (like bellamy) might have the mindset of "this whole thing is fucked up" and try to only drink ethically-sourced blood, if it's available to them. which it might not always be, depending on the vampire's location and how much money they have to spare. vampires are definitely all aware of where their blood comes from, but those that don't keep their own humans don't really have to think about it unless they choose to.

the scenario of a working-class vampire randomly inheriting a human from a rich distant relative is fascinating! obviously it'd depend on their personal political beliefs, but the fact is that there's a reason vampires without a lot of money don't tend to keep captive humans- they're expensive! humans eat a LOT and if you don't feed them properly, you're not gonna get all your nutrients either. like, think about how much a human spends on food for themselves vs food for their dog or cat. humans eat a ton! they take a lot of upkeep to take care of! it's cheaper to buy blood than keep your own human, because the blood factories can feed humans in bulk. so if the eccentric uncle didn't also leave behind a sum of money, probably gonna have to either sell the human or let them go, depending on the vampire's personal moral standing.

but if the eccentric uncle did leave some money too, this vampire could keep the human. could go a number of ways. keeping and using the human as food, trying that for a bit and then feeling guilty and letting them go, just letting them go to start with... possibilities are endless. but now i am very intrigued by the idea of a vampire caretaker inheriting a human, taking care of them until the long-term effects of persuasion wear off, and letting them go free.