#all the moms and kids and work are also sick though
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neeneen · 2 years ago
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I'm actually sick again...
3rd time in 3 months yay..
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seungfl0wer · 3 months ago
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Changbin As Your Boyfriend
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Bangchan | Minho | Changbin | Hyunjin | Han | Felix | Seungmin | Jeongin
Contains smut 🩷
Posting this on Changbins birthday🩷 so happy birthday so the very man who got me into stray kids. The loml, the man of everyone’s dreams.
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-🩵
•Man is all about you.
•He really just thinks about you a lot.
•The members joke that you’re one of the only people he’ll text back right away.
•Likes to send you gym pictures.
•A lot of gym pictures.
•Just so you’ll compliment him.
•And please do that.
•Do it a lot, because this man just gushes at your praise and kind words.
•The way he just giggles and blushes when you say anything remotely like it.
•Even when you’re together for years he’s still a blushing mess.
•Wants to constantly cuddle.
•You wrapped in his strong arms.
•His favorite thing to do while you’re cuddling is nuzzle his face into your neck.
•Softly leaving kisses as he repeats “Mine, All mine”
•Brings you his clothes to wear constantly because it just melts him.
•He’ll make the comment about “Wow whoever hoodie that is they got taste”
•Loves bringing you to his home with him to hang out with his mom.
•Changbin is so family oriented and to see you and his family together just-
•It makes him wanna cry.
•And the first time you meet his family seeing them love you.
•He’s crying, and he’s crying hard. Holding onto you with a big smile plastered on him.
•Asks you a lot to go to the gym.
•Even if you don’t wanna work out he just likes having your company there.
•Has the Worst photo of you as his Home Screen.
•He finds it so cute and funny.
•He’ll whine when you say you think it’s ugly.
•Because how dare you say that about his partner.
•You guys have such deep conversations.
•He really loves these.
•Just sitting there talking about your future, your dreams, the meaning of life, and how he could make dwaekki could be an actual animal.
•Always texting to make sure you ate.
•He’s always worried you’re not taking care of yourself.
•Has a whole snack box stocked of your faves at all times.
•Also if you ever say anything about something hurting and or feeling sick.
•Mans there so fast to take care of you.
•He’ll be worried until you feel better.
•And if you’re someone who gets periods?
•He’s making sure you have everything.
•Plus make sure to have time to come cuddle you if you need while you’re suffering.
•Has so many files of songs for you too.
•Mans really whipped for you and he wouldn’t have it any other way honestly.
•You both are just each other’s support system. Solving any problems with communication.
•You’re constantly there for each other, in anyway the other needs.
︵‿︵‿୨Smut Below୧‿︵‿︵
•Body worshiping at its finest.
•Kissing every inch of your body, Telling you how stunning you are.
•Lots of praise, So much praise From the both of you.
•”Y/n do you know how good looking you are?” Followed by even more kissing.
•”Binnie my handsome man, aah your lips are so soft”
•His favorite position is definitely one where he’s holding you up.
•Loves showing off his strength of course.
•Plus he loves how you grip on to his arms.
•He has your body memorized, all your sweet spots everything.
•He loves the way you sound- oh god does he ever.
•The way you sound when you are just coming undone around him.
•He wants to save those sounds forever.
•Definitely has a thing for you sucking his fingers.
•Has his hand cupped under your chin, thumb to your lips as you suck on it.
•You ask for anything during he’s giving it you right away.
•”Please Bin- Faster” “Deeper, aah right there”
•He’s giving you anything you want.
•You could ask him to murder someone and he’d probably say yes.
•100% probably records your noises.
•Yeah y’all have phone sex while he’s away
•But nothing compares to the sound of him fucking you into another dimension.
•Although he is very soft for you.
•He fucks you so good, so rough but full of so much love.
•Makes you cum multiple times before he’s cuming.
•God the cuddles after sex though?
•You’re actually just glued together at this point.
•He’s not letting you go for at least 10 minutes.
•And when you finally get up to pee he’s whining.
•Making small grabby hands for you to come back.
💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵
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penkura · 5 months ago
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Everybody Knows
Summary: You want to keep it a secret as long as you can, but living on a pirate ship makes that difficult.
Warnings: Pregnancy, mentions of vomiting, slight food aversions, loving husband Sanji (not a warning tbh haha)
Note: Everyone, hi!! I wrote this before I ever finished 'knowing', and I just couldn't help but to share it here now that that's completed! I loved writing this so much, and yes, this is one of the two one-shots that are connected to 'knowing'! I'll post the second next week most likely! This also takes place about four to five years after the end of 'knowing'! I hope you all will enjoy this!!
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“Sanji, look, look!! It’s positive!”
“Wait. No way, really?!”
Your smiling and giggling while showing off the positive pregnancy test ended up being contagious, Sanji grinning when he saw it as he wrapped you in a tight hug and spun you just a little. He couldn’t do it too much after all! You’d just found you were likely carrying a precious blessing, he didn’t want to make you dizzy or sick or anything!
It’d been nearly four years since your wedding on the Thousand Sunny after the events in Wano, and just about two years since you decided to start trying for a baby, but now! Now you were pregnant! Finally, after what felt like so much longer than it should have been. You hadn’t told anyone that you two were even thinking about having a baby, you wanted to keep it as secret as possible, and it taking almost two years to even get to the point of a positive test was definitely keeping it secret.
Honestly, when you’d told him you wanted to try having a baby, Sanji was ecstatic and nervous all at the same time. Of course he wanted to be a dad, he’d thought about it for so long, especially once you two married. But, with the life of a pirate, it couldn’t be that safe, could it? Obviously others had done it, Gol D. Roger had kids on his ship, Whitebeard did too, and Big Mom had all her kids (don’t remind him of that though, poor man thought he’d never see you again). The world had become moderately safer, people weren’t as terrified of pirates anymore, specifically your crew with how much you had helped others.
When you did tell him, you had made sure no one else was around and that it was about bedtime for most of the crew. You’d stay in the kitchen with Sanji while he finished off the dishes, telling you what he was thinking about cooking the next day for meals most nights, and that was the perfect time. A few of your crewmates came through to wish you both goodnight. Nami had done so early so she could check the map and log pose, making sure you were heading in the right direction. Zoro had the first night shift and had, like always, just requested someone bring him some sake after a while. Brook had chosen to spend some time playing his violin on the deck, Franky was likely in his workshop you thought. Robin came and said goodnight a bit later, saying she’d be joining Zoro in the crow’s nest for a bit with her latest book. You hadn’t been entirely sure about where Jimbei was at first, then heard him on the deck with Brook. Luffy and Usopp had tried to sneak in with Chopper to get a late night snack, making you giggle softly when you saw them come in the door as quietly as they could, before Sanji threw bread at them and chased them out, shouting “that’s all you get! The kitchen is now closed, goodnight unless you want to work!”
Hearing your giggle made Sanji turn back and smile at you, his lovely wife! He still couldn’t believe you two were married some days, just about two years at this point. Before he even started on the dishes, he stopped and gave you a kiss on the top of your head, saying “Once I’m done with the dishes we can head to bed, okay?”
“Sure!”
You tried to keep your focus on your own book while he worked, but your thoughts kept jumping around. You started one thought and lost it, wondering what it was before it came back, and your face heated up at the thought you’d been having the last few weeks anytime you were alone with your dear husband. Every time you’d try and bring the subject of having a baby up to Sanji, someone would interrupt and you’d back down, nervous they’d hear and it would spread around the ship before you even started trying.
You just wanted to be a mom on top of being a pirate, nothing more to it. And you knew Sanji would be an amazing father. No matter how his biological father was, Sanji would be different, he’d had Zeff as his chosen father, his real father. You knew he would be okay.
When Brook started to play what sounded like a familiar lullaby from the East Blue, it made you smile. You checked around quickly to make sure the coast was clear, before getting up from your spot at the table and walking over to Sanji, giving him a hug from behind that made him greet you.
“Sanji~?”
He hummed a bit while finishing drying another dish, “Yes, darling? What can I do for you?”
Smiling just a bit and burying your face in his shirt, you quietly made your request, “I want us to have a baby.”
It was loud enough for him to hear it, nearly causing Sanji to drop the plate in his hand as he choked a bit on his cigarette. Carefully, he set the plate down before turning around and taking your face in his (still damp) hands, trying to make out if you were joking with him or not. All you did in return was smile softly, nothing but love for him in your eyes. Once he realized your smile was sincere and that’s what you really wanted, he smiled widely and nodded, kissing you all over your face.
“Of course, of course, mon amour!!” he was almost as quiet as you were, he could tell you didn’t want anyone else to hear this precious desire yet, “Absolutely, whatever you want, as many as you want!”
You giggled while he kept kissing your face and you wrapped your arms back around his shoulders. "One would be a good start."
Now, you finally had the positive test you’d been anxiously waiting for. Every other one you’d taken that came up negative frustrated both of you at times, but every time it happened, seeing how upset you were, Sanji would just hug you and say it would happen one day, he just knew it would. You’d just keep trying and praying and hoping until it did.
And finally it did. The second line on the test was faint, but you could see it. You had a positive test!
After you two had calmed down from your excitement, you decided to keep the news secret for the time being. You wanted either Chopper or a doctor at the next island to confirm that your test wasn’t a false positive before you told anyone. The ship was due to land at an island that had a large town on it the next day, so Sanji agreed on taking you to a doctor once you did, under the guise of getting some ingredients to store (of course he did need to do that shopping, but making sure you really were pregnant was top priority). You absolutely trusted Chopper as a doctor, but you knew it was likely word would spread sooner than you wanted it to, so you made the choice to go to a doctor once you docked at the next island instead.
Some of your crewmates picked up on how you two acted through the day, but didn’t think too much of it. You guys were sickeningly sweet to each other most of the time anyway, it was gross how lovey-dovey you were (to Zoro anyway). A few times you’d be doing your chores, and someone, namely Robin or Nami, would catch how Sanji, who had been handing drinks and snacks to those who wanted them, would catch you out of the corner of his eye, before quietly watching you for a moment, deciding to go over and offering to take your work off your hands. You just smiled and said he could help if he was that bored and he looked like he wanted to say something, but instead gave a smile and a nod, helping you finish your chores a little faster.
Nami noticed first how weird Sanji was acting towards you. Normally he'd be his regular self, providing her and Robin with drinks and snacks in his normal way, before going over the top to do the same for you. It made sense since you were his wife, but that day he seemed…off? Almost like something had happened to calm him down. His normal acts of treating them like queens were a bit more subdued, and then with you, the one he almost treated like a goddess, he seemed like he'd been hit with a tranquilizer that made him more gentle, soft. It was very odd.
“Hmmm, Robin? Do you think those two are being…weird?”
Robin looked up from her book just enough to see Nami watching you two again; you were playing a card game with Luffy, Usopp, and Chopper, while Sanji stayed nearby just watching. This was the most they'd seen him out of the kitchen in a while, it definitely was odd.
“Sanji is being a bit more protective of her today.”
“Is [Y/N] sick or something?”
“She seems normal to me. Maybe she’s pregnant.”
Nami laughed a little louder than she intended, but it didn’t gain yours or Sanji’s attention. It did gain Luffy's, who looked over wondering what Nami was laughing about before returning his attention to your card game.
“That’d be something.”
Neither girl dared to ask you about it that day, just in case they were incorrect and said something that could be considered offensive. They didn’t even know if you two wanted to have kids in the first place, maybe you just didn’t feel well and Sanji was just being the overprotective husband to his sick wife. The last time you'd been sick he barely left your side and got some help with the cooking so he could take care of you.
When it was dinner time, you were very careful to not let anyone notice how the smell of the fish you were having was making you nauseous. When Luffy asked why you weren't having any, you made the excuse of not feeling very well, deciding to forgo the fish to keep from making yourself sick. It wasn't technically a lie, you just made it sound convincing enough that no one questioned you further.
A silly argument broke out about who would get your share since you weren't eating the fish, and it made you laugh along with Nami. Luffy and Brook both wanted it, Usopp said it should be left for the next day because maybe you'd feel up to eating it then, while Chopper tried to ask you what was wrong and you just told him your stomach was a bit upset, he said he'd give you something to help if you wanted.
You really did impress Sanji with how well you were keeping your little secret. If it weren't for your restraint, he'd have told everyone by now, he was sure of it. It was taking everything in him not to pick up a transponder snail and call Zeff to let him know the good news. He knew you'd let him as soon as it was really, truly confirmed, he was just so anxious to tell someone.
Everyone cleared out after dinner minus you and Robin, she decided to stay behind and help with clearing the table, something you normally did to spend some extra time with your husband that he greatly appreciated.
However, this time, Sanji kept trying to make you stop helping.
"[Y/N], please, sit down! Robin and I will take care of the table." Sanji really, really wanted you to sit down and take it easy. If you were pregnant, you needed rest! You might be growing a whole new person inside you! You'd need all the energy you could have over the next few months!
"Sanji, it's ok! I can help."
"[Y/N]," Robin gave you a smile as she looked between you and Sanji, "if you aren't feeling well, I don't mind helping tonight. You should go let Chopper check you though, just to be certain it's not something to be worried about."
You bit the inside of your lip, wanting to tell Robin why Sanji was being so much more protective over you, but you weren't sure if you should. You viewed her like an older sister, and knew that if you did tell her, she'd keep your secret. Robin would take any secret you told her to the grave. Instead, you looked at Sanji with a slightly pleading look that caused him to just know what you were thinking. Sanji gave you a smile and nodded, which made you smile in return.
"Robin, the only reason Sanji is like this right now is because we got a positive pregnancy test this morning."
Honestly, Robin was joking earlier when she made that suggestion to Nami, but hearing you confirm her silly thought actually made her smile even more at you.
"Really? That's wonderful!"
Nodding, you started to almost beg for her silence on the matter.
"We don't want anyone else to know yet, so I haven't gone to Chopper for real confirmation. We're going to go find a doctor on the next island tomorrow to get a blood test done."
"That's a very good idea, to make absolutely sure your test was positive."
Sanji nodded, setting a hand on your shoulder. "So…could you keep it a secret please? Just until we have it confirmed."
"Of course. Your secret is safe with me."
Robin then joined Sanji even more in telling you to sit and relax, to the point you decided to head to bed with a laugh when Sanji said he didn't mean you had to leave. All you did was kiss him and say you'd see him when he finally came to bed himself.
You took a quick shower, before changing into your pajamas and choosing to lay in bed, hair still a bit wet but you didn't care. You wanted to see that positive pregnancy test again. It still felt surreal to you that it might be happening. You might become a mother in a few months.
The two faint, pink lines were still there, you hadn't been dreaming all day.
Gosh I hope it's not a false positive…
Eventually Sanji did come to bed with you, after his own shower and with his hair still damp too. You barely even moved when he laid down next to you, setting his hand on your stomach while you kept staring at the test.
"It's so weird."
"Hmm?"
"To think that we might be having a baby. It feels weird, doesn't it?"
He nodded a bit, while you finally laid the test back down on your nightstand and turned to face your dearly loved husband with a smile.
"You might get to be a dad soon."
"And you might get to be a mom soon."
Your giggle never failed to make him smile, even more than he already was. Sanji wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you close to him, hugging you and burying his face in your hair.
"I love you…no matter what we find out next, I love you so much."
You returned his hug and sighed happily, content with where you were now. You really hoped and prayed your test was accurate, that soon you'd be parents, you'd have a baby of your own to care for and love as well.
"I love you too, Sanji."
All would be well.
+!+
"All right everyone, I have your allowances for today!"
The normal culprits of bad spending habits cheered or thanked Nami, while you gladly took your decent sum and pocketed it immediately. Of course you wanted to look for some clothes, but you had no idea how much a doctor would charge you for a test, so you hoped the allowance Nami gave to you would be enough for both.
Usually you'd join in on drawing straws to see who stayed on the ship to guard it, but before you even could take one from Usopp, Sanji took your hand and told everyone you had decided you were going with him to get groceries this time. Not a single one of your crewmates questioned it, the rest of them drawing straws and Zoro and Jimbei being the lucky ones to stay on the Sunny. Once everything was settled, the rest of you left the ship and broke off in different directions. You stopped a local and quietly asked her where a doctor or women's clinic was, and she was kind enough to lead you and Sanji there.
After the kind older woman left you, the two of you didn't go inside yet. Your nerves had picked up and Sanji could tell. He felt the same way, you both had the same thought running through heads.
What if it was a false positive? What if all your hopes you'd had over the last 24 hours were about to be dashed and you weren't really going to have a baby?
Despite all the fears and worries, Sanji held your hand just a bit tighter and it brought you out of your thoughts and you looked at him.
"Do you want me to go in with you?"
You thought for a second, then shook your head. "It's ok, I can go. You need to go grocery shopping so we're back on the ship at the meeting time."
Although he really did want to go with you, Sanji nodded and gave you a tight hug, kissing your forehead. "No matter what they say, I love you. You know that right?"
"Of course I do!" You laughed a bit, leaning up to give your sweet husband a kiss. "I love you too, and I know it's all gonna be okay. Meet you here in about an hour?"
Sanji nodded, letting you go but letting his fingers linger on yours as you turned and walked into the clinic. He stayed for a few minutes, before turning to go find the shopping district and get his grocery shopping done by the hour time was up, saying silent prayers that the news you brought back would be good.
+!+
The hour you had agreed on had passed, Sanji was waiting for you outside the clinic nervously. He'd honestly expected you to be outside and waiting for him already, but maybe something was wrong? Did something happen that was keeping you there longer than you expected? He prayed it wasn't something along the lines of you getting your pregnancy confirmed but being told you'd lost the baby already. That would devastate both of you after the time you'd had even just trying to get pregnant.
No, no, don't even think that. Everything is fine.
Every time someone exited the clinic and it wasn't you, Sanji got even more anxious, wishing you'd finally step out. He'd nearly gone through another two cigarettes while waiting, knowing you'd be upset with him over it but he couldn't help it. The nicotine was at least calming his nerves somewhat.
I'll have to apologize to [Y/N] later.
Finally, after another almost twenty minutes, you left the clinic and his nerves calmed a bit more but his heart started racing, wondering what you were going to tell him. You hadn't even looked up from whatever papers you had been given, you were still reading them it looked like. But once you did and saw Sanji was waiting for you, you gave him the brightest smile he thought he'd ever seen from you, even brighter than the one you had when you two got married.
"Sanji!" You ran to him and threw your arms around him, causing him to do the same. He tried to ask you what the doctor said but the words wouldn't come out, but once you pulled back from your hug, you didn't stop smiling. "It was right! We're having a baby!"
Actually hearing you confirm that your pregnancy test was positive made Sanji unbelievably happy. Even though he could feel tears starting, he smiled at you, hugging you again even tighter than before, picking you up and spinning you a bit, and telling you how happy he was. He set you back down and released you from the hug, kissing your face and thanking you for this blessing while you laughed a bit. He didn't need to thank you, not even a little bit. It was your choice and you were glad to be having a baby with him.
After one more kiss, he ended up pulling away from you with a grin, throwing his arms in the air with tears in his eyes.
"I'm gonna be a dad!!!"
+!+
Usopp and Nami were the ones to find out next. The two had been wandering the town when they came up near the clinic Sanji had dropped you off at, not thinking much about it at the time. You had a doctor on the ship, Chopper was the best one possible!
…so why was Sanji standing outside this clinic like he was waiting for something?
"What's he doing?"
"Why would I know that?"
The two were obviously confused. Had you gone inside? Were you that sick? Why didn't you tell Chopper or anyone else?? You could have stayed on the ship instead of letting Sanji drag you to town! Granted yes, he was your husband and you didn't seem to mind at all, but still. If you weren't well, you could have stayed behind and rested instead of running through the town in the few hours Nami had given you all to explore. She had just learned it would take two days for the log to reset, so you had plenty of time to explore! Honestly, sometimes Nami thought Sanji of all people could be a touch more considerate when you said you weren't feeling well.
"[Y/N] did say she had an upset stomach last night," Usopp remembered while watching Sanji light a second cigarette, "maybe they didn't want to bother Chopper and brought her here?"
"Oh come on, they have to be hiding something." Nami was trying to think what could be so important that you two would come to a random clinic on this island instead of just going to Chopper, just as you stepped out and ran to hug Sanji. The two of you were full of smiles and excitement, making her tilt her head. "What's going on?" Nami was trying so hard to hear, she was about to just discreetly walk by and eavesdrop.
"I don't know, I can't hear them." Usopp leaned in a little more, still trying to stay hidden.
The two didn't need to wait any longer to know what you two were saying, as Sanji's outburst of shouting that he was going to be a dad told them everything and Nami gasped while Usopp's jaw dropped almost to the ground.
"She's pregnant!!"
"Did…did they plan that?!"
"Who cares, Usopp! There's gonna be a baby on the ship soon!"
The two were conflicted on if they should confront you now or wait until you told everyone, while they were deciding you and Sanji had started walking back towards the farmer's market to finish the grocery shopping, neither Nami or Usopp noticing until she went to shout for the two of you.
"They're gone! Dang it!"
"Well…I bet they'll tell us later, Nami."
"If they don't," Nami's berri eyes didn't get past Usopp, "I can try offering them some baby funds, at an interest."
"Nothing gets by you."
+!+
Getting back to the ship, you helped Sanji put away all the groceries (despite him telling, begging you to rest), before putting away the very few clothes you ended up purchasing. After paying for your appointment and the prenatal vitamins they gave you, your allowance was about half gone, but you were able to find a few cute clothes you could wear now and some pieces to put away for later on. It was a bit difficult for you to find some maternity clothing items, but you did find some cute pieces! Even more difficult was keeping those pieces hidden when you were showing the other items to Nami, Robin, and Chopper. You made the excuse that they were more intimate items which flew over Chopper's head but made Nami pull a face while Robin laughed a bit.
Nami did keep pestering you about what you did and how you spent all your money this time, but it wasn't that weird to you, she normally asked if anyone had anything left from what she gave them, and if they wanted her to put it away for the next island stop. You almost, almost told her, but just claimed your clothes were more expensive than expected.
Robin was the only person who you pulled aside and confirmed you were pregnant to. She gave you a hug and congratulated you properly, sitting with you in the room you shared with Sanji to get a little more information from you.
You'd told her that yes, this was planned, about two years later than you had originally hoped. You were nine weeks along, and intending to keep it a secret from everyone else until your first trimester was over just to be safe. The doctor you saw had said everything looked good so far, and it gave you immense relief to hear that.
Your plan was to stay on the ship the next day and tell Chopper so he could start to prepare for whatever he'd need to do to help you through your pregnancy and delivery, but you wanted to wait and tell everyone else once you passed the twelve week mark. Robin said she'd absolutely help as well, she even gave you a few books on pregnancy that you and Sanji could read through.
The rest of the day, Nami and Usopp wondered if you or Sanji were going to say anything about your having a baby. Not one word slipped from either of you, and it was starting to frustrate both of them. At dinner you were able to eat, Sanji quickly catching on that fish was making you nauseous, so he ended up making some meat instead which greatly pleased your captain.
"Sanji!! Seconds!" Luffy whined a bit and Sanji told him to hold on while he got a bit more ready, making Luffy lean over on you, "[Y/N]~~~ can I have some of yours??"
"No, Luffy!" Sanji looked over his shoulder and set a small glare on him, "[Y/N] needs her dinner!"
"But she always shares it with me~!"
"She can't right now!"
"Why not???"
"Because she–"
"--I'm starving after being sick yesterday!"
You nodded, eyes slightly wide as you realized Sanji was that close to revealing your pregnancy earlier than planned. He covered his mouth when you shouted over the two, turning back to the stove and cursing at himself.
Almost blew it, holy crap.
"But I want meeeeeaaaaat."
"You can have some vegetables, Luffy."
Luffy made a face and decided it wasn't worth it, he'd wait for more meat to be cooked. Franky was willing to share with him though, which made your captain happy at least. Once you had finished eating, you took your plate to the sink and stopped to give Sanji a hug, he whispered sorry to you, but you just shook your head, leaning up to kiss his cheek.
“No worries, my dear.”
“Yohohoho, you two are so loving even with a baby on the way!”
Everything went silent. Your crewmates all stopped eating, the sound of silverware on plates was quieted as they stopped to stare at you with widened eyes, and both you and Sanji went completely stiff, you started feeling ill.
How the hell did Brook know?! You hadn’t told anyone apart from Robin, and were fairly certain Sanji didn’t tell anyone after you left him alone earlier to start on dinner. Nami had been a little persistent with you, asking you a lot of questions earlier but you didn’t tell her anything, and you didn’t know at the time that Zoro had even questioned Sanji about why he wasn’t smoking as much. Usopp knew Sanji was close to shouting at Luffy that you were pregnant, and now Chopper realized you feeling nauseous last night made more sense. Robin smiled a bit since she already knew, and Franky hadn’t thought to question anything yesterday or today, honestly thinking you were sick and Sanji was just trying to quit smoking. Jimbei had noticed you feeling sick earlier than anyone, but assumed you’d just caught something since you all were constantly out at sea and stopping at various islands, you could have picked up any kind of illness.
Luffy never questioned a thing, but hearing Brook’s statement made him break into a large grin.
“You guys are having a baby?!”
Your nausea was back, and Sanji could see it in how pale your face was becoming as you, back still turned to the table, tried to figure out whether to confirm, deny, or start asking how Brook knew.
“I…” You felt worse while trying to decide what to say, covering your mouth with your hand.
“[Y/N]? Are you–”
“I’m gonna be sick.”
You pulled away from Sanji and ran out of the kitchen with your hand still over your mouth, making several of your crewmates yell for you, while Robin had run after you. Sanji almost ran after you as well, before realizing he needed an answer from a certain musician first. He set a glare on Brook that made him shudder.
“You. Who the hell told you that?!”
Brook continued to shudder while everyone else couldn’t believe the glare Sanji was giving him.
“T-t-the test was still in the bathroom trash this morning! I-i-it was only n-natural for me to assume!”
“Damn it,” Sanji pulled at his bangs, cursing himself for not suggesting you threw that in the kitchen trash or hid it under your bed until you were ready to tell people, and really wishing he could light a cigarette right then, “Fine, all right?! We’re having a baby! She’s nine weeks and we were gonna tell you all once she was past the first trimester, but guess everyone knows now!”
“Sanji–”
“You guys take care of putting the food away and the dishes, I’m going to go comfort my pregnant wife!”
Sanji threw down his apron and ran out of the kitchen after you and Robin, causing Nami to shout for him, but she didn’t follow him.
Everyone that was left, was completely silent, all mulling over the news that you and Sanji were going to be parents soon.
“S-so,” Brook was still a little shaky after seeing how angry Sanji was, “uh, did anyone else know?”
Nami and Usopp raised their hands, heads down. They only found out by mistake, but both felt awful at your precious secret basically being revealed against your will.  Surprising everyone though was Zoro who nodded.
“Wait, how did you know Zoro??”
“He told me earlier.”
“He what?!”
Rolling his eye a bit, Zoro nodded again while taking a drink of his sake. “I mentioned that he hadn’t been smoking and he ended up telling me. I didn’t want all that information dumped on me but he seemed like he was anxious to tell someone. I just happened to be the first person he talked to.”
That made more sense than Sanji just deciding Zoro would be the first person he told. It became quiet again, Luffy was thinking and pressing his index finger to his forehead before he finally said something.
“So…why did Sanji say they were waiting?”
“Well,” Chopper spoke up, a little shell shocked that he was going to have to take care of a pregnant woman on the ship, but a bit excited about it, “A lot of couples wait until after twelve weeks because the chance of miscarriage is higher before then. It’s never really zero, but waiting until after the first trimester is common practice, by then they’re more confident that the baby will make it.”
“Oh, I see!” Luffy started laughing after that, a grin on his face that seemed to start spreading to his crewmates as the information sunk in. “They’re gonna be awesome parents! I bet it’s a boy!”
“Oh no,” Nami shook her head with a small glare, “It’s got to be a girl, we need more girls on this ship!”
“I can make some SUPER toys for them!”
“I’ll make sure the baby and [Y/N] are both healthy!”
“Would playing lullabies for the child make up for this?”
“Imagine if the cook’s kid wants to be a swordsman.”
“I have some great stories of bravery and adventure to tell them!”
“I’m sure they’ll be great no matter what the child is or what they decide to do in the future.”
The other eight members of your crew continued discussing their own ideas of what your child would be like, working to clean up dinner, when Nami stopped and bit her lip.
“What’s wrong, Nami?” Luffy tilted his head at her as she stopped gathering the plates.
“I feel bad that she got sick because of this. We all made [Y/N] so nervous after Brook said they were having a baby. I hope she’s not too upset.”
“Even if she is,” Zoro had started to leave, but stopped to listen to Nami’s concerns, “the cook will take care of it. He’s her husband after all.”
+!+
“Can I get you some water, [Y/N]?”
“Thank you, Robin, but I’m fine at the moment.” You sighed a bit and leaned against your pillows, Robin nodding as she sat beside you on your bed. You’d completely lost your dinner after you ran off, Robin staying with you to keep your hair back and help you get back to your room until Sanji got there.
He almost burst into your shared room a few minutes later, running over and hugging you close.
“Are you all right, mon amour??”
Nodding, you just hugged him back. “I’m okay. I’m…upset, but otherwise just fine.”
"Rightfully so," Sanji nodded, stroking your hair a bit, "We've barely had time to process this and it's already out."
"How did–"
"The test was still in the bathroom trash can."
Hearing that, you realized it was your fault in the end, for not being more careful about how you disposed of the test. Whining a bit you leaned against Sanji again. "I'm an idiot. I didn't even think about someone seeing it there…"
"Hey, you're not an idiot. Anyone else would have done the same thing," Sanji leaned down just enough to kiss your forehead which made Robin smile before she took her leave, knowing he would make things right, "it didn't even cross my mind that we should've put it somewhere else."
"I should've tossed it overboard."
"I don't think any of the fish want something that's been peed on, love."
That made you burst out laughing, so hard you almost felt like you were going to be sick again but you knew you weren't. Seeing you smile and laugh made Sanji smile as well, as he crawled into bed by you and pulled you back into his arms. He was glad to see you smiling and laughing after the disaster that had been dinner. You deserved to be happy about having a baby, not stressed because it got out earlier than you had planned.
Once you calmed down, you laid there and stared at the ceiling for a bit, Sanji still holding you and rubbing your arm to help comfort you as you thought.
"I'm not that mad at Brook for bringing it up."
"I'm pissed at him."
"Sanji."
"It wasn't his secret to tell."
You sighed with a nod, turning to be face to face with your equally as upset husband, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. "I know…but now I don't feel like I have to agonize over how to tell everyone."
"I…suppose that's true…"
Thinking about the reactions you got from your crewmates, you smiled a little.
"Luffy sounded happy."
"He did, didn't he?"
"He probably thinks this means new crewmate, instead of what is essentially his niece or nephew."
Sanji laughed, nodding. "That's exactly what he thinks, I'm sure of it."
The two of you spent what felt like hours just talking about your day, the insanity of it all. Finding out you really were pregnant, that secret getting out during dinner and making your morning/evening sickness come back, and the likely reactions of your crewmates. You talked until you started dozing off, Sanji quieting his voice when he noticed you were falling asleep. Once you were asleep, he stayed at your side a few minutes longer, before deciding he needed a shower and to check the kitchen before bed.
Before he got up and left, Sanji tucked you in a bit, kissing your forehead with his hand resting on your stomach lightly.
"Sleep well. I love you both so much."
+!+
Breakfast the next morning was weirdly quiet. You'd helped Sanji get everything ready, once again despite him telling you to sit down and relax, to rest since you know, you were growing a whole new person in your womb, you needed as much energy as possible. You just ignored him, smiling and setting the table quickly as everyone else started to file in. Brook had found you earlier in the morning and apologized for the night before, which you accepted with a bright smile, telling him everything was fine.
Sanji still was angry but couldn't find it in him to glare at the skeleton anymore. If you were willing to forgive, Sanji would find a way to do that himself.
During breakfast, Luffy stood up with his drink in hand, making everyone look at him while he grinned. He wanted to toast something obviously, and everyone else raised their drinks to his.
"To Sanji and [Y/N]'s baby! Our future crewmate and niece or nephew! Hopefully nephew though!"
Everyone else laughed and shouted cheers, taking a drink, while you were fighting back tears. You hadn't fully expected all of them to be so accepting of the idea of a baby on board, but what else did you expect?
This ragtag group was your family now, your baby would have no shortage of protectors or joy in their life.
Sanji, the ever attentive husband he was, smiled just a bit seeing the happy tears in your eyes. He leaned over with a kiss to your temple, whispering "It's ok to cry if you're happy."
And you did, just a bit. You thanked Luffy, thanked everyone for being so wonderful and accepting of your baby, who hadn't even been born yet. Most of your crew responded in kind, telling you their thoughts of how they could help when the baby was born, offering to decorate a nursery, asking if you want a boy or girl. Everything they could think of that would help you and Sanji to settle into your roles of mom and dad in a few months. They offered to split up your chores among them, something you asked them not to do until later into your pregnancy. You still wanted some semblance of a routine before you gave birth and had to devote all your time to a tiny human.
Eventually, breakfast had its own little squabble as Luffy snatched the last piece of bacon when Usopp and Franky were reaching for it, a small brawl breaking out. It made Sanji yell for them to be careful around you, leading Franky and Usopp to drag Luffy to the deck to continue their little spat.
You laughed, leaning back in your chair and giving Sanji a smile.
"I love our weird family."
"Hmmm, so do I, mon amour."
All would be well, when you had your baby in a few short months. They would be welcomed with a flurry of love and adoration, not just from you and Sanji, but from everyone else as well.
Can't wait to meet you, little angel.
457 notes · View notes
monakisu · 7 months ago
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about saiki kusuo...
he's a leo.
he's incredibly tidy. if his parents leave the house in a mess, he'll complain but proceed to deep-clean it anyways.
he's a stickler for other people's safety. if he notices someone's shoelace is untied, he'll tie it for them, regardless of the circumstances (ie. smack-dab in the middle of a sports game)
on another note, he seems to have a fixation with tying people's shoelaces for them.
he's weak for sweets in general, not just coffee jelly. sweet tooth saiki!
he has a huge soft spot for kids. this probably stems from his failed childhood friendship with akechi.
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he's scared of bugs because he can't read their minds. this implies that powerless!saiki might be a lot shyer, more anxious, and even pricklier, since he doesn't know what anybody's thinking.
he's totally a mama's boy. he learned his moral compass from her, does whatever she wants, believes he was born an esper to protect her, etc.
also, the notorious zebra print blazer was because of his mom.
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he's so much of a people-pleaser that he'll sacrifice his desire for anonymity and normalcy; he'll insert himself into situations, stalk people, and use his powers even if it means the spotlight will fall on him.
not only is he a people-pleaser, he's a drama queen. he'd rather concoct elaborate plans to avoid somebody instead of simply rejecting them.
he's a one piece fan.
his favorite arcade game used to be whack-a-mole, and he thought destroying all the moles meant he'd won. he was banned because of this.
his glasses are colored glasses from his childhood toy box. wording implies that he's been wearing this same pair his whole life.
he likes baking/cooking, mostly because he gets to eat the sweets that he made. (househusband saiki... heh.)
he smiled a lot more freely as a kid. when he wasn't wearing a dazed expression, he looked like quite the cheerful child.
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he helps kaido out with classwork by simply handing him his own work.
he rarely gets sick, and when he does he can cure himself by turning his body into an inferno through pyrokinesis. however, this means he knows next to nothing about medicine.
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similarly, he's tragically naïve about the internet.
he's good at singing and likes karaoke (preferably singing by himself).
like kaido, he gets seasick. however, he fervently denies this. he seems to think himself impervious of the maladies regular people suffer from.
he has a bit of a girly run.
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he likes using takahashi as a joke. "it's everyone's favorite, takahashi." he also hates takahashi because of his strong resemblance to akechi's childhood bully, takashi.
he likes hot baths.
when he walks home from school, he follows this routine: he stops at the convenience store, picks up coffee jelly, puts it back on the shelf, then continues home. ...incredible. he seems incapable of not staring at any nearby coffee jelly.
he may be willing to downplay his smarts/talents to avoid trouble, but he'll get competitive when he's with akechi or kusuke.
he's hesitant to cause his friends any harm, but will freely maim toritsuka, so long as the damage is immediately reversed.
he won't hesitate with kusuke, though.
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lastly, and most importantly:
he's a cutie patootie <3
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618 notes · View notes
desi2go · 7 months ago
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Importance
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pairings: dad!Chan x mom!reader
warnings: angst, fluff
summary: Having a child with an idol isn't easy...
author's note: I'm sorry that I couldn't post anything the last two weeks. But here I am with a new one!
Marriage wasn't easy. Especially when your beloved husband was an idol. The Bang Chan, leader of Stray Kids.
Between tours and busy schedules, there was little time for your relationship. But even though it was hard and you missed him like hell when he was gone for a long time, you still didn't regret to come to your best friend Changbin's party years ago. There, you had met him.
Well, he didn't see you and accidentally poured his drink over you. When your eyes met, he was fascinated by your breathtaking beauty. Maybe it was destiny back then. It felt surreal, like he was your soulmate. The missing piece in in your heart and life.
Apologetic, he bought you a drink and after a wonderful night together, asked for your number.
Soon, he took you out on a date and there followed a second and a third, becoming a huge part in your life.
Without noticing, time passed and Chan proposed to you.
You immediately said yes and became Mrs. Bang.
The second you were married, your family asked when you both would begin to try for a baby but Chan and you wanted to wait some time before thinking about an addition to your family.
You still were young and Stray kids took much time and you understood that. Your job was also one of your top priorities and wanted to earn more money.
But it seemed that the universe had other plans with you two. Seven months after the wedding you started feeling sick. At first you brushed it off and thought that it is just a stomach bug or the stress due to work.
As the lovely but overly concerned husband that he is, Chan took you too a doctor to get a check up. Even though you found it a little bit overdramatic, he still insisted and the reason why you felt nauseous was soon found. You were indeed pregnant and already two months into pregnancy.
Sure, it wasn't planned but you and Chan felt excited to have a small addition to the family. And sooner or later it would have happend anyways.
Chan promised that when the pregnancy was farther along, he would take some time off and help you. You agreed to that and decided to work some more months too before you need to go into maternity leave.
The months passed fast and soon, you welcomed your newest family member. A girl. A sweet girl with already some black locks on her head and the same brown eyes that you fell in love with.
Chan was over the moon. Even though during labour, he was terrified. Would he be a good dad? But all these thoughts washed away when he saw the beautiful angel you both had created with your undying love.
He was the first one to hold her as her crying filled the room. Exhausted, you observed the picture in front of you. Your husband with his precious daughter that already looked like a smaller copy of him.
He was told to undress his shirt and to lay the little bundle of joy against his bare chest to help her breath and keeping her warmth while the doctor checked on you because you had lost a lot of blood during birth.
The first weeks were exhausting. Your little girl, Nari, held both of you awake most of the night. Yourself needed to heal and time to recover from the labor, so you relied mostly on your husband who took such good care for his girl. Fortunately, he got some weeks off to settle into parenthood before going back to the boys even though they nearly saw each other every day.
Since you got home from the hospital, four days after birth, they visited you to meet their 'little sister' as they called Nari. Oh lord, they were so smitten. The only one that seems not so sure about that little human was Seungmin but when he thought that nobody would watch, you catched him drawing circles over Nari's hands, smiling when she wrapped her hand around one of his fingers.
When Chan went back, the house was suddenly so empty. After weeks of being together 24/7, the sudden quiet was unfamiliar. In the mornings, Chan was already out, you loved to lay on the couch, your daughter on your chest, snuggling close to you while sleeping.
When Chan came back home in the evening, he greeted you with a kiss and immediately ran off to his daughter to tell her about his day even though she was already sleeping. You loved to observe him while cooking. You loved this little family. It was something that you ever wanted.
You really loved Nari. But after the pregnancy and early motherhood, you needed some space for yourself. You would love to spend an evening with your girls. Just making yourself look pretty and have fun without watching over a child.
Especially since you almost never leave the house except for some stroller walks and buying errands.
You asked your husband if he comes home some hours earlier so that you could enjoy your night. Immediately, he agreed and you were so grateful that he understood you.
On that day, you took your time with getting ready while your daughter slept. You hoped that Chan would be home soon so that you would be on time since you hated being late.
Minutes passed as you sat on the couch waiting for him. Minutes turned into half an hour and you wrote your girls that you would run a little late today. They were understanding.
More minutes passed and you waited already for a whole hour. You tried to call him since he was always so focused on his work so that he sometimes forgets the time.
He didn't pick up and you were already half an hour late. Your girls were already seated in your restaurant, waiting for you to show up so that they could start ordering food.
Sighing, you texted then that you couldn't make it and they shouldn't wait up on you. Frustrated, you cleared your face from the make up that was hours worth of work.
You took off the new dress that you had bought. You were so excited to wear it because it made you feel so pretty again after the pregnancy made you look bloated and your belly was still not the same then before.
You didn't know if you felt rage, sadness or disappointment that you needed to stay home because of your husband.
It wouldn't be so bad if it was the first time after he got back to work. He used to come back at a normal time to have some time with you and the baby. But as the weeks passed, he stayed later and got up earlier so that you saw him just for some minutes per day.
It was like you were all on your own here in your home. You knew from the beginning that Stray kids was really important to him but after entering parenthood you had hoped that he wouldn't stay till past midnight in the company.
You heard the key unlocking the front door and your husband finally decided to come home after he had promised you that he would be here three hours ago. He greeted you with a small peck on the forehead as you waited for him in the living room.
He looked so calm while dropping his bag to the ground and sitting down on the couch.
"Why are you standing there honey?" He asked. You crossed your arms. He didn't even remembered that this was supposed to be your night out.
"Why are you so late?" You tried to remain calm since your daughter slept in the neighbouring room.
"I was working on the newest song for stray kids" he explained.
"Oh really? Because you said you would be here hours ago" you didn't want to pick a fight. You hated fighting with him. It made your heart clench but this night was important to you.
"I'm sorry honey. But I needed to get it done"
"Well, I had plans for the night, Chan."
"Really? I'm sorry honey. I forgot and this song was important"
"The song was important? My reservation with the girls was important to me" you said and couldn't hold the calm tone that you wanted.
"I already said I'm sorry, Y/n. I got caught up in work" He grew annoyed.
"Like always. You're always so late that I wonder if you even remember that you have a family at home" You knew you were mean and unfair but all these things were twirling around your head for days.
"Of course I remember! I'm sorry that I make money for us" he exclaimed sarcastically. His voice loud, nearly shouting.
These words hurt you. He knew damn well that you aren't dependent on his money and that you make good money as well. Even though you currently took a maternity leave.
"Fuck you, Chan. You aren't the only one working. I was asking you for just one thing. Just being home a little earlier so that I could have some time for myself." You said loudly, your voice cracking in the middle as some tears stung in your eyes.
"Y/n. I-" he tried but you stopped him.
"Nari is your child too. Currently, I'm the only one she sees whether it's in the morning or in the evening. And I'm tired. Tired of being the only one raising her."
You heard cries from the other room. You must have woken up your sleeping daughter. Sighing, you excited the room and headed to Nari without waiting for an answer.
Chan knew that he went too far and that he was more away than home. And it pained him to not spend so much time with his daughter. Slowly he followed you to your daughter's room.
It was dimly lit and you sat in the rocking chair next to her crib with Nari in your arms, rocking her. He hated seeing her in distress and guilt crept up. He was a terrible father and an even more terrible husband.
You felt Chan's hot gaze on you. You knew that the guilt ate him alive right now. He couldn't fool you. Therefore you knew him too well.
After placing Nari back into her crib, giving her a light kiss on her soft skin that smelled so sweet like a baby. Your baby.
Then, you took Chan's hand and lead you outside to the kitchen, farther away from your daughter.
He just followed you, deep in thoughts.
"Y/n, I'm so sorry. I should have come early. And I know that parenting a child alone is difficult. I didn't want to lash out on you like that. I know that the meeting with your friends was important to you" he said and caressed your hand.
"I'm sorry too. It's obvious that you try to be around Nari as long and often as you can."
"No, you were right. I need to be here more. Especially with you both. I shouldn't let work take over so much" he said and pulled you into his arms.
His arms circled around your waist while yours travelled upwards into his fluffy locks. Exhausted he let his head fall on your shoulder, all the tension leaving his body.
"I love you Chan" you whispered.
"I love you too. You and Nari are the most important things in my life"
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gundawifey-inactive · 8 months ago
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𝕄𝕒𝕞𝕒'𝕤 𝔹𝕠𝕪
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Bo Sinclair x Fem! Reader Smut !18+! !MDNI! Syn. Bo has the tendency to compare his wife to his mom, and she's getting real sick of it. Tags. unprotected sex, p in v, housewife-reader, toxic/dysfunctional marriage, implied verbal abuse, mommy-kink, hurt/comfort, slightest breeding-kink, mommy-issues (Bo's, not child's), Bo & reader's son's name is Billy, (no use of y/n) Word Count. 2.9k
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Droplets of scalding oil fly off the heavily greased pan and hit your skin like prickles, shit hurts. Not as much as your eardrums do, though, same as your other arm you aren't using to hold the handle of the pan that's carrying the twenty-five-pound toddler in your other arm that's screaming bloody murder. 
"'Wanna play outside! MORE PLAYTIME!" another shriek of baby babbles wrecks the barrier protecting the shell of your ear. You groan, attempting to bounce Billy while also attempting to not burn the dinner on the pan, yeah that'd hurt more. Bo's been working 'round Ambrose all day, as usual, you don't need two temper tantrums to deal with over a burnt supper.
"God damn.." You suck in a breath when Billy knees into your side and you almost drop the food cooking. He's a growing boy for sure, pudgy small legs of his grown enough to land some fatal kicks. Bo would've laughed, except it's not funny, not when you're the one dealing with the kid all day. "You can't go outside, it's late baby." You try and reason with the kid, but you know, he's a kid.
"No! Wanna play! WANNA PLAY OUTSIDE!" He retorts, it's a nonexistent counter-point, not like he could make one anyway, his vocabulary is as small as he is. 
Another bubble of sizzling oil scars your wrist shaking the pan and you damn near snap at it. All things considered, to say you were overwhelmed is an understatement. The grip you have on Billy snugs and you let go of the panhandle, leaving the frying food on the stove, instead drifting your full attention to Billy's. 
"Enough." You elongate your words, mommy voice pitching deep and you wrap both hands around him, staring him down. "Daddy's gonna be home soon and that means supper then bed for you, no more playtime, 'specially when it's dark out." You scold. Billy whines and tosses around in your arms, dramatic showmanship but doesn't screech back at you anymore, at least. 
At this point, your patience is out the window, and while thank god your ears ain't bleeding, you need the toddler to just calm down so you can get back to finishing up dinner. About to burst, the door swings open first, cutting off the next little lecture you were going to dump on Billy, familiar taps on the old wooded floor, Bo's home. 
His boot turns and he grins at you and Billy, stepping to the kitchen quickly. "How're my babies?" Bo said before he could really process the exact situation he stepped into. 
Turning to face Bo rather than the miniature of him in your arms, your brows furrow at him, and Billy just keeps, whining. Squirming around in your arms while you glare at Bo, not that you're mad at him, okay maybe you are but not justifiably, at the moment you're just mad. Bo doesn't acknowledge it, instead looking around then to the stove. 
Shit, dinner. 
"You burnt supper," He gestures to the now char-blacked mix of ingredients inside the pan, nose and eyes crinkling in disgust at it. Funny, he's seen plenty of burnt shit, like corpses, but god forbid his dinner be burnt. 
You choose to ignore the statement. "Can you take him?" You ask instead, reaching your arms outward for Bo to take Billy out of them. He wails between your arms, tiny nails digging into your skin while you try to hand him to Bo, let him help out. 
"Can't handle him yourself?" Bo replies and doesn't take Billy out your arms, raising a judgemental brow at you. 
"Just take him so I can fix the food." You respond, nudging your chin up in the direction of Billy for Bo to take him, but he doesn't.
"Bo." His name parts from you in a restrained growl. 
Billy is out of your arms into Bo's now, but there isn't any sweetness in the expression Bo gives you when he does. Mercy isn't present in his gesture, taking the kid and giving you another judgy look in lieu of a willing expression as he does. 
Circling between the kitchen to living room Bo rocks Billy over his shoulder, letting him wail it out till he gets exhausted by his fit. Eventually, the whines soften to snores. A momentary silence as Bo rocks him in his arms, you opting out of remaking the earlier failed meal with Billy now sound asleep. For a second your eyes meet Bo's while you wash the burnt remains off of the pan, as he walks off with the sleeping toddler to put him to bed.
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"Need help with that too?" He balances himself against the hardwood kitchen counter clicking his tongue from behind you, there's the tiniest amount of condescension in his voice. See that, that shit hurts a lot more than hot oil. Can't control that mouth of his, has a mind of its own, he told you once too many times by now when, if, he'd bother to check up on you after airing out his bullshit onto you. 
"No." You've learned not to engage with whatever got him pissed by now, not with Bo. Vincent doesn't, hell even Lester doesn't, why would you? Would be stupid to. Not like he hits you or anything anyway, just mouths off sick filth with absolutely no filter. Got the worst of tempers but he does enough gutting and beating in his own time when getting Vincent his wax muses.
A mock laugh erupts from Bo and he tilts himself forward to your side of the kitchen, leaning over the sink to look you in the eye. Once again, you ignore the bubbling rage emanating from him, boiling up. But you can handle heat. Spend half your day on the frypan taking care of the boys, even if it means the boys just burn you twice as much. 
Bo sucks in his teeth, and you can feel the room getting warmer, not the arousing kind, Bo's signature can be being a horny fucking mess, but also an angry one. "I don't get it." He scoffs, shaking his head at the unsaid words he isn't even gonna try and hold back on. "It's one kid, for fucks sake."
Now this, you know where this one's going. Reuccering theme of your husbands, the never-ending need to nitpick at your parenting. He bitches about damn well everything, but there are those times you feel the tips of your nerves itch all wrong, like a sixth sense at this point when he's about to spit those abhorrent words. 
"My Mama managed fine with three so," Ah, there it is, your least favourite words to ever grace God's green earth. Broken record at this point with how often Bo brings it up. 'My Mama never-' 'My Mama did-' Words that seemed to toss any left sanity you had in you into the fire you thought you had grown used to, but no you didn't. Because it burns more hellish each time it's said. 
"I'm sure she did." Your teeth grit while you speak feigning little control as you try and remain docile, not to fan the flame any further. 
"Shouldn't be burnin' dinner, you know your way 'round a fire." He adds, voice raising with each sentence. Damn straight you know your way around a fire, dealing with Bo's frenzies all the time, you've gone numb to the temperature he inflicts with his tongue.
"Billy was having a tantrum." You gently defend.
"You call that a tantrum?" Bo snorts, taunting the notion. "Small lil hissy-fit at best, darlin'. My Mama ain't never burnt no meals over my tantrums." 
"Well, I'm not your Mama." You snarl cutting him off, pupils jolting away from the dish you were scrubbing to Bo's. Sick and tired is one way to describe the crazy you were experiencing right now at Bo's statements. A band snapping in the kitchen between you and him 
The edge of his shoulders stiffens into a line, and for the first time since you've known him, you think you've burnt him instead. A woefully pathetic air casts in his over his eyes, turning pitiable. "No, you're not." He replies as if he's testing the words, tasting them in his mouth as he verbalizes them, and they taste bittersweet sort of wrong. An unfortunate truth. 
Not sure if you're more shocked at yourself, or Bo right now you simply pause at the sight. Bo is, in fact, not yelling back at you. Shutting you up in some pseudo-volume battle that'd sure to have woken up anyone asleep in the house. Instead, he just looks at you like a kicked dog, not too far from what he was, his life considered.
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The air goes cold, bedsheets feeling extra plush around you, that sort of featherlight coolness engulfing you on the bed, odd. Rarely cold in Ambrose, even in the dead of night. Much less soft, you're more used to suffocating in heat, wax requires it to meld and shape, And Bo pours it out in all his hot-headed tantrums you get burdened with. 
Bed post creaking you look over your shoulder from your side and the familiar dip on the other side has Bo there finding his usual spot beside you. 
This isn't hellfire hot, this is limbo, off-putting quietude, yet not tranquil. A second passes and Bo just stares off at the rusted ceiling. Did you break Bo? Did you fuck it up this time, like seriously fuck it up with what you said? More disturbed by the blue tune of silence than hollering, you turn completely to him. 
"Uhm," You start, unsure of where you're going with your question. "You still mad at me?" If he was, you're sure you would've known it, Bo doesn't shy away from his anger or showcasing it. Still, you question. 
"I'm not mad at you, darlin'." Bo sighs, shutting his eyes to avoid yours, wrinkles of the eyelid creasing in some kind of negative emotion.
Gently rolling to Bo's side you land atop his chest pressing your cheek flat against it, hearing the thump of his heart, familiarized with it by now. His arm finds place around your side rubbing your back instinctively. "Just, you know, my Mama... My Mama was real different than ya. Different to how you're with Billy."
There's an internal tick being set off because you've heard him sing this song too many times, about his Mama. Not that you had anything against the lady, bless her for raising your man, and bless your man for respecting her, it's sweet. But it's the constant comparing that had you getting all worked up.
"Different to how you're with me..." He adds, swallowing back a lump, and perhaps if you haven't gone crazy officially, a tear as well. So, this is not where you were expecting the conversation to go. Bo's not mad, not picking at you for the expectation his mother set. 
"You're so, so patient. With Billy, with me." He praises, he's praising you. Not mad, not disappointed, grateful. "Don't hurt me, at all, only," He groans, the bridge of his brow pinching, eyes still shut as he speaks. A vulnerability in his tone. "You only do me good. Make me feel good."  He means it all, with complete genuineness. Almost as though he's shocked at you for it, 'cause Bo's never seen you hit Billy, the kid's only got scars from scruffy tree branches that scrapped his knees. Bo's are all too vivid, leather and duct tape that's no longer there but still stings in his wrists and ankles. Never knew a woman could get so gentle, not with how his mama was, yet you were.
You smooth a hand over his chest where you lay, up to his cheek, hovering over his waterline wiping off the tears before they've fallen with a soft motion. "Shh, Bo." You soothe.
"Christ darlin'. You're such a good Mommy..." Bo murmurs, releasing a shaky breath, opening his eyes to look at you. Disbelief apparent from the quake rumbling through the way he speaks right now. He mumbles something else intangible and pulls you flush closer to him. 
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Sweat salts your skin, snapping hips up and down against each other room re-enveloped with familiar warmth while you swallow him whole. 
"O-Ohh.. S'good, such a good boy, Bo." You warble in mixed moans, absolutely drenching the sheets under the round of your ass Bo pounding languidly into your gushing cunt. Tips of your finger pushing indents into the muscle of his back. 
Fervor spilled through his mind as you tugged him down closer, pussy sucking him in the same. Pulling then pushing his cock by the full till the tip nearly slipped out then slamming in deeper. "Fuck yeah, feels good Mommy? I makin' you feel so good, huh?" He purred, dipping his head into the crook of your neck breath fanning right over your ears fuzzing out the sound of his balls slapping against your ass. "Oh fuuuck, Grippin' me like crazy, Mommy." 
Saliva doused into the crook of your neck, Bo sucking in the skin and lapping at it. Wanting to kiss you whole, fuck you full. Maybe fill you with another baby, because you've done so well with the first he's given you. Another time, though, right now all that swelled was his cock lodged deep into you and awe in his mind. 
You tossed your legs around his waist, shivers twisting the inside of your abdomen, Bo fucks good every time. His mouth is so much more lovable stuck on the sensitive inches of your flesh making out hickeys and love bruises rather pissy words. "Close! Mommy's s-so close!" You gasp, tugging him closer, close as can be so his body heat can burn you right, the way you deserved it. 
Feeling you pull him till bodies melded like molten wax, and your insides warming his cock, clenching in a steady increase, Bo hugged his arms around your waist. Pelvis slamming harder, quicker against yours, increased pace jackhammering your cunt. 
"Cum f'me. Come on, Cum for me, pretty Mama. Cum all over my cock Mommy," His voice mumbled in a strained groan, bordering a whimper, heavy breathed against the sticky spot he'd left into the corner of your neck and shoulder while he pushes you to climax.
Felt good to burn like this, to be loved by Bo. Your brain turned to mush and white stars of bliss flooded from your spasming cunt to your brain. "Fuck, Ohh yes! Cumming! Cumming!" Gripping his cock so tight he almost came right there and then, but graced himself while he plunged deep into you restlessly, riding out the onslaught of euphoria that burned your veins. 
You were fucked out, that much was certain, first orgasm hit hard, harder than any words he could beat you with. Already stressed out day, Bo fixing that for you, dutiful husband the such. Rolling his hips in slower motions as you calm down from your high, your thighs clamp around his hips feeling the sting of sex continue passed your orgasm.  
"Stay wimme Mommy, gimme one more, yeah?" Bo tilted his head, raising it so it hovered over your forehead, staying atop you with a lustful adoration in his eyes. He was lucky, that much was certain. Not much luck in his life, crazy dead daddy and mommy, favourite freak of a twin brother, got you though. He got himself the sweetest baby mama a man could ask for. That shit is the best luck if he'd ever felt it.
"One more, sweet Mommy, and I'll fuck ya full. Mhm?" He cooed, pressing his lips to yours and snapping his cock into you, regaining his previous pace as your pussy relaxed around him. Building his thrusts back into quickness while hugging you close, kissing you with love.
You warmed impossibly hot, like an unbridled flame. Clinging to him while he does to you, because you're his everything, because you're his wife, his mommy, his darling. "O-Oh, Oh god Mommy, gonna... Gonna-" Bo choked out, cock throbbing in you with each slap of his balls against your ass. body churning and tense fucking you quick as could be.
"Me too- Oh fuck!" You felt it coming harder than a tidal wave this time, Bo nearing his as well. Your eyes rolled behind your skull and Bo slammed his lips to yours again to shut his own pornish moans from spilling out, your pussy driving him to pure rapture.  
Ecstasy ran through you two's bodies and he delved his cock straight into you in a final thrust of needed high, balls tightening and spilling deep into you with strangled cries of pleasure filling your lips that parted his. Teeth clattering messily against each other while he rode out his high in your spasming pussy, you washing into the second state of bliss the night cumming hard around his cock.
Bo could be a horrid husband at times, but God be damned, was he a grateful one. So grateful, wanted to send you to heaven, and push you through it over and over. Hoping to keep the fire churning in you forever. 
But for now, his dick was spent. And his Mommy was already exhausted as be taking care of his kid all day, and also getting fucked stupid by him. He pulled out with a grunt and flopped to his side in the bed. "Supper would've been good, now." He mumbles in a snort, wrapping his loose-jointed arm around your waist and rubbing a hand over your bare curves.
"Don't even start.." You grumble softly, before letting out a soft giggle, the type that makes him go stupider than emptying his balls in you. A dumb grin overtook his face and he smiled at you, rolling slightly in the bed to face you. 
"Sorry, darlin'." Sorry's only happen after Bo fucked you, not after he yells, never after he scalds you with words. But you'll take it, if it meant getting dicked down by the best man in Ambrose. 
"It's okay." You reply in a soft sigh, nuzzling against him. His perfect Mommy.  
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afro-hispwriter · 1 month ago
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Satoru Gojo x reader ft. Megumi Fushiguro
-
“Oh, my little kikifuku is in there right now! I knew that position would work!” 
“Satoru please.” You giggled and brushed your fingers through his hair. He just smiled and kissed around your belly even more. 
“Y/n.” Shoko put her hand on your shoulder. “Promise me to take it easy, if what Gojo's mom said was true when she was pregnant with him is true. This pregnancy will take a lot out of you.” She squeezes your shoulder and grabs a towel to wipe your stomach. 
“That was only because she was carrying the next six-eyed and infinity user. I have no intention of dying before my kid is born.” He kissed the side of your head and grabbed your white haori from the hook. You sat up in the bed and Satoru grabbed your shoes to slip onto your feet. 
“Come on baby, we have to tell everyone the news!” 
You say your goodbyes to Shoko but not before she hands you a roll of ultrascan photos. Satoru took it from your hands and held it up.
“Our baby.” 
“Before we tell everyone, our first baby should know first.” You slipped your arm into his. “But first you need to meet with Itadori and Nanami.” He sighed and kissed the side of your head.
“Please go straight to where everyone is meeting.”
“Sir yes sir.”  You saluted and he laughed. He kissed the top of your head then bent down to kiss your belly. 
“Don’t give your momma a hard time.” 
-
Megumi saw you first and his legs were already taking him towards you. You welcomed him with open arms and he accepted it. His arms loosely wrap around your upper back. 
“Are you okay?”
“Mhm.” He pulled back. “Are you? You’ve been sick.” 
“I'm okay, but me and Satoru have something to tell you later though.” Megumi frowned(more) but nodded in acknowledgment. But he also couldn’t deny that it made him nervous. 
“Y/n!” Utahime shrieked and started running towards you. Your eyes widened and you opened your arms for the woman.
“Utahime!” Megumi stepped to the side and let you two hug. 
“How are you?” She pulled back and kept you at arm's length. “You’re glowing.” 
“We all glow.” 
“Yours is different though.” She squinted at you. “I can’t put my finger on it, it's more natural.” You just had to laugh awkwardly.
“Where’s your husband?” Yaga interrupted, he stood by Principle Gakuganji. 
“Oh he’s taking care of some things, he’ll be here shortly.” You assured him with a smile. And it wasn't long after that when said man appeared running with a cart. 
“Sorry for the wait!” From there everything happened so quickly. All with the not-so-grand or happy announcement of Yuji’s return. Megumi looked at you and Satoru then back at his no longer dead friend. 
You could only give him a sheepish smile and a nod. 
“What kind of plan was that Satoru?”
“It was better in my head.” He shrugged and tossed an arm over your shoulder. “Nanamin knows.” you rolled your eyes and threw your head back.
“Satoru, we agreed Megumi would know first.” 
“I know I know but he was right there.” He bent down to whisper in your ear. “And the ultrasound picture was burning a hole in my pocket baby.” You rolled your eyes but smiled nonetheless. “He congratulates us and says he feels bad already for our baby.”
“Don’t listen to him, our baby will be lucky to have you.” 
“Of course they will, and they’re going to know it because-.” You cut him off immediately.
“Because you’re Satoru Gojo, yes my love we know.” He pouted and poked you in the cheek.
“Meanie.” 
“Mom?” Megumi walked up to you two, hands shoved in his pockets. You bit your inner lip and waited for what was to come. “Did you know about Itadori?” 
“I did, Satoru told me. Please know we had to keep it a secret.” Megumi swallowed hard and shrugged.
“Yeah, I think I do. I'm not mad.” You let out a sigh of relief. “What did you guys want to tell me?” 
“Later Megumi,” Satoru says and the slight seriousness in his voice sparked a bit of anxiety in Megumi. “Find us in my office once you talk strategy with your team.”  The onyx-haired boy nodded and walked back to the Tokyo squad. Fists clenched in his pockets.
-
Megumi was quiet most of the time, only saying something here and there. But his knee wouldn’t stop bouncing and his heart wouldn’t stop racing at an abnormal rate. 
What if you two were getting a divorce? No that can’t be it, you two were happy… or were you? What if it's an act? 
Are you leaving the Jujutsu society? Is Gojo? No, he wouldn’t leave now of all times. 
Were you sick? Like dying sick? You’ve been so tired lately.
Was it Tsumiki? No, there is no way either of you would hold information related to that. 
Was it the Zenin clan? Did something happen and they were taking him? 
Were you two leaving Japan forever and leaving him and Tsumiki behind?
Too many questions ran through his head and none of them were positive.
“Fushiguro, are you okay?” Itadori asks him with concern. 
“Yeah, I'm okay, just thinking.”
“Anything to contribute to us?” Maki asks with hands on her hips.
“It won’t help, now can we finish this?”
-
The whole time to Gojo’s office, Megumi was trying to suppress the urge to cry.
No more bad news, please
He stood in front of the door with his fists clenched.
“Megumi. We can see you.” Gojo says from behind the bamboo door. Megumi's cheeks turned pink and he slid the door open. 
You sat with your legs crossed in Gojo’s comfy expensive chair while Gojo stood behind you with a hand on your shoulder.
“Hey,” Megumi says and stands awkwardly. 
“Do you want to sit?”
“Are you guys getting a divorce?” Megumi said instantly and you furrowed your eyebrows and Satoru let out a laugh. 
“As if.” The man says and kisses the top of your head.
“It's good news Gumi’, trust me.” He swallowed hard and grabbed a chair to sit in. 
“O-Okay.” He folded his hands in his lap and tightened his jaw. 
“We found something out this morning when we went to Shoko, and we thought it was only right that you knew first besides Shoko herself and-.” You paused and tilted your head back to glare at Satoru. The man laughed nervously and scratched the back of his neck. “Anyways Megumi I’m-.”
“YOU’RE GOING TO BE A BIG BROTHER!” Satoru screamed, animated sparkles and lights shot behind him as he pumped his fists in the air. 
Megumi was stunned and his face turned into a look of shock. 
“Oh!? That’s great guys. I'm happy.” He says and he starts blinking rapidly. It was the same action he did when he was struggling not to cry. Mom mode was instantly activated and you stood up to go to him but Megumi stood up as well and held his hand out to stop you. “No it’s okay, I'm fine.” He wiped his eyes and his head hung low. 
“Oh, Megumi.” He didn’t resist the hug. 
“Happy tears, they’re happy tears I swear.” He says and buries his face into the crook of his neck. “How far along are you?”
“Almost two months.” You say lowly to him and kiss the side of his head. 
“Family hug!” Satoru threw his weight over both of you and pulled you guys in tight. Megumi made no act to shove the man away, instead raised his hand and grasped Satoru’s wrist in a tight hold. 
“You and Tsumiki will always be our first kids. Please don’t ever forget that.” 
-
Hope people liked this😅Comments, reblogs, and likes are always appreciated🩵
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iamyoursonly · 4 months ago
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Childhood Best Friend (16/07/2024)
turns out my bakugo obsession wasn’t over so i’m writing him to feed my delusions because I saw this one line on tumblr and I had to write a whole story about it; i wrote this at 2 AM so it’s not the most creative hehe but bear with me
1.5k words — unedited
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The thought of having a childhood best friend that you can keep in contact with really drives me insane, not in a bad way though, because it’s the kind of friendship that I crave. I have no idea how much time both parties dedicate to each other to maintain a relationship for this long, and I might be jealous of some of my friends because they have this and mine isn’t as ideal as I hope it was.
“Katsu?” My five-year-old self say, “Would you marry me when we grow up?”
The crimson eyed boy looked at me, holding out that ring pop he’s been eating for a while now and basically finished, “If you’ll have me that is.”
According to his mom, I went around kindergarten holding his hand and calling him “my husband katsu” for a while, and he was always around to protect me when kids doubted what I said. He’d beat them up or threaten them with his explosions saying, “You’re all just jealous that you’re not her, but too bad she’s my wife now so piss off.”
I was always around him and he was always around me, we were literally stuck to the bone.
“Katsu, someone told me I was ugly is that true?” I cried in his arms for the first time when I was six, and he rubbed my head and let me cry it out.
“Whoever told you that must have no taste, you’re breathtaking.” He says.
“What does ‘breaktaking’ mean?” I say.
“Breathtaking. It means you’re so pretty you take someone’s breath away.” He smiles, “I’m also beating them up for putting this nonsense in your head. No one messes with my wife.”
“Don’t beat them up though, please?” I look at him, and his rubs my head and nod.
This all disappeared when I had to leave to move away because my parents found a better job. I held onto his hand and begged my parents to let me stay with him and his family, he also begged, claiming he doesn’t want to be apart from “his wife”.
“Don’t forget me, Katsu.” I start sobbing, “I really don’t want to leave.”
“Can’t you stay?” He asks, red staining his eyes because of the crying he has been doing.
“I can’t, they’re not letting me.” I hold his hand harder, “Promise we’ll meet again?”
“Let’s become heroes together. I’ll become number one and you’ll be alongside me.” He squeezes my hand back. “Let’s meet at UA.”
“Promise?” I ask.
“Promise.”
We pinky promised before my parents shoved me into the car and drove away.
“Hit harder, you’re not doing it right!” My coach screams at me. “Okay, take a break you’re not thinking.”
I sit on the ground, stripping off my boxing gear then throwing them to the ground, “Fuck.” How am I going to be good enough to catch up to him? He’s gifted, hardworking and talented. It’s not possible to be on the same level as him without training harder, and I’m not even hitting right…
“I’m done, let me do it again!” I say to my coach, who’s wiping the pads I’ve been hitting. She smiles and signals me to start. I throw I few punches at her, then a few kicks, and some more punches. “That’s the spirit, young lady!” She says as I throw more kicks at her.
“Good work today,” She pats my shoulder, “See you tomorrow.”
I smile at her before packing my bags and leaving, stretching a bit before I take a taxi home to revise for tomorrow morning’s tests. I take out the small notebook I keep in my bag and start memorizing some main points from the book, “Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.” I whisper.
I manage to get a taxi, I get in and sit down and continue studying. After a while, I look out of the window, slowly rolling down the glass after getting the driver’s permission. Feeling the night air against my face, I start to feel home sick. It’s been ten years since I left Japan, and I’ve been doing everything he would just so I can get in UA. And I miss him so much.
“Congratulations! You’re accepted into UA high school, we’re looking forward to seeing you on our first day!“
I scream at this news before telling my parents and they were overjoyed also. They willingly bought me plane tickets back to Japan and even called Katsuki’s family to have them take care of me for the mean time, in which they agreed to. And all I could think about that night was how happy he would be when he sees me again.
He was not happy, at least I don’t think he is. He has this scowl over his face and he’s gotten so tall and buff since ten years ago.
“You’re that loser girl I hung out with? I literally have no fuckin’ memory of you since you’re so fuckin’ insignificant to me.”
Wow. He’s definitely changed so much.
“Katsu, I kept my promise, I got into UA and now I’m back.” I say.
“So? What do you want me to say? Congrats? Yeah no shit, everyone craves validation when it comes to me.” He says, “Congrats loser, for making the bare minimum to get in like it’s fuckin’ challenging.”
Okay he’s just rude now, where was that sweet old Katsuki I missed. So I just rolled my eyes at him and went to their guest room to settle down. In which Mitsuki welcomed me with a whole party that Katsuki was not happy about.
New school year, new me. I wear my UA uniform, ready for a new school year with more fun and joy every year. Until some weird guy stopped me and Katsuki on our way to school.
“Hey girlie, you look so fine you should be called mine. Wanna go out with me?” He winks, and I cringed at him. Katsuki full on glared at him, looking pissed.
“She doesn’t wanna fuckin’ go out with you, why would she downgrade herself for a fucker like you?” Katsuki grabbed my hand and started leaving.
He told him off for me. He cares.
“Why are you even helping that whore?” That weirdo asked Katsuki, and he glared daggers into him.
“No one can say that to her when I’m around, say that again and you’ll lose your dick.” Katsuki threatens him again and wraps his arms around my waist.
He turns to me, his face so close to mine before he says, “Let’s go.”
Since when was his face so masculine and defined. He definitely had a big glow up because how could one be so breathtaking?
“Katsu.” I say, “What was that for? Thought you hated me.”
“Still do, but only I can degrade you.” He answers.
“Possessive much?” I joke, but I could feel his grip on my waist tighten. So I just shut up and walk with him.
When we got home that day, Mitsuki made us fried chicken and some extra spicy mapo tofu (katsu’s favourite).
“Remember when the two of you got married when you were five? Katsuki gave you his ring pop after you asked him if he’d marry you and he said something like ‘if you’ll have me’? Oh goodness I remember it like it was yesterday.” She chuckled with her husband as Katsuki and I stared at each other awkwardly.
“Shut up you old hag.” Katsuki says, his ears red, “I’m going back to my room.”
Before he leaves the table, he drags me with him and we enter his room before he locks the door.
“So,” He starts, “What now?”
I look at him, “You dragged me in, you tell me.”
“It’s nothing I just needed a break from them.” He shrugged, “It’s not like I’m fuckin’ embarrassed of us or anything.”
There was a moment of loud silence.
“Katsu,” I break the awkwardness, “Can we like start again?”
“Like what, pretend that you never left me?” He says, his tone sounded like he’s hurt.
“I didn’t want to, and you know it.” I look him in the eye, and he keeps the eye contact.
“Missed you so fuckin’ much and now you’re here,” He puts his head on my shoulder, basically whispering into my ear, “I hate how you’re my weak spot and how I can’t properly get over you even though we were basically children.”
“Katsuki, listen.” I hold his face and he’s so close to me I could feel his breath on my face.
“Yeah?” He looks at me, features softening.
“Be my boyfriend, Katsuki.” I murmured softly, “For real this time. I swear the only person I’ve loved is you.”
He laughed out loud, “Thought we were married all along, wifey.”
I hug him tight and he speaks, “Don’t leave me again okay?”
“Promise.” I chuckled, “Also you need to get me another ring, I might have left the ring pop with my family.”
“You silly bitch. You’re lucky I love you.” He gently smacks me.
“And I love you too.” I smile.
…“And now, I pronounce the two of you husband and wife.”
Maybe this childhood best friend thing that I had wasn’t that bad either, seeing how we have two children together right now makes me smile at our memories together as a child. My breathtaking childhood best friend and the pro hero Dynamight that I could call my husband until the end of time.
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lorarri · 15 days ago
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★ . . . 𝐃𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐘 𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐇𝐈𝐌 𝐀 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 , 𝐋𝐒𝟏𝟖
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summary , ferrari's team owners son is exposed for having a fan account for there number one driver and some how they end up fake dating for six months
pairing , heir! lance stroll x fem! f1 driver! reader
series masterlist | main masterlist | sol’s masterlist | f1 masterlist
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yourinstagram
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liked by carlossainz55 lance_stroll 79,479,480 others
yourinstagram a car launch and charity gala like no other 🥂✨
view comments
user the way lance was trying to outbid Y/N the whole charity live stream was so funny to me
user the fact that Y/N and Lance sat at the same table doesn't sit right with me
user okay can we stop talking about the fan boy and talk about MOTHER
user the fact that lance's fan account is still posting about Y/N is WILDDDD
user okay enough of simp boy Y/N ate and left nothing
user the way Carlos and Y/N were side eyeing Lance the whole time was so funny
user I bet Lance was posting on his fan account during his event
user okay but the new car looks sexy af
user okay but imagine if they ended up dating
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MANAGER LUCY
I need you to date Lance Stroll
Y/N
who???
MANAGER LUCY
Lawrance's kid
he got exposed for having a fan account about you
and now he looks like a love sick idiot
and he has apprently been begged his father to get a date with you since you joined the team
but he has only now just given in to giving it to him
Y/N
so I have to go on a date with someone who I have only ever met for less than a day
cuz he got exposed for thirsting over me
and now he wants to date me
MANAGER LUCY
yup
they have sent a contract though
basically be with him for six months
and if you aren't happy by the end of it you can 'break up'
but your main job is to make this overgrown fan boys dream come true
also he is willing to pay alot of money
and you will get a better contact next year
Y/N
okay okay okay
fine
but six months and then I'm done
MANAGER LUCY
good to hear it
I'll send the paper work though in a bit
Y/N
great
also I just stalked his fan account it's actually quite in a weird kinda way
yourinstagram . 2hrs ago
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seen by carlossainz55 landonorris 76,379,279 others
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SIR LANCE-LOT
last week of dating....
LADY Y/N-INNGTON
yeah...
SIR LANCE-LOT
I don’t want this to end
LADY Y/N-INNGTON
me neither....
SIR LANCE-LOT
wanna go skiing
LADY Y/N-INNGTON
sure
but if this is gonna work plz stop with the fan account
I don’t need to lose even more privacy 
SIR LANCE-LOT
but i have 700k followers :(((
LADY Y/N-INNGTON
I’ll buy you a ferrari to make up for it bae and I’ll let you inroduce me as your wifey to people
SIR LANCE-LOT
deal!!!!
no take backies 
lance_stroll
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liked by carlossainz55 lewishamilton 87,480,297 others
lance_stroll look mom I'm a house husband for real now
view comments
user rip YNhusband_real you shall be missed
user bro is really living my dream huh
user nah him in his wag era fr now
user ICONIC
user ugh I don't know who I want more Y/N or Lance
user haters must be salty rn
user this is everything to me
user ferrari better not fuck Y/N strategy or else lance is gonna get them all fired
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castiwls · 5 days ago
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coach (doesn't) always know best .ᐟ
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Paring; coach!patrick x single mom!reader
Synopsis; Patrick continues to be a thorn in your side whether he means to or not. When you get a phone call claiming your son had hit another kid you had a damn good idea who had a hand in this.
Notes; part two to my coach one shot kinda? I think I'm gonna write more one shots which all link into a larger story? I'm not good with full series but I have an idea where I wanna take this. ALSO named the kid Noah to help make it easier
Masterlist | coach!au masterlist
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You were pissed - scratch that seething. 
You’ve been having a good week. Work had been easy and thankfully so had your son, Noah had his moments even at eight he was still prone to random emotional outbursts which always left a slight pit in your stomach.
You’d never planned to be a single parent and sometimes you really wanted to need someone else to rant to whenever you fucked up. Though this time it wasn’t you who had fucked up.
“What made you think that was okay?” Your son watched from the kitchen table, his eyes wide with the guilt you knew was eating at him. He’d been quiet ever since you’d come to pick him up from school besides mumbling apologies he’d barely spoken something which left you uneasy. 
“I have always told you to never put your hands on someone else! If a kid is mean to you or your friends you go get a teacher.” A sigh left your lips as you paused in front of him. This was completely new ground. He was a good kid, the best which is why you’d been in utter disbelief when you’d gotten the phone call telling you to come pick him up.
You’d immediately assumed he must have been sick but his teacher had quickly curved that by telling you that your son had taken it upon himself to hit another kid at break. You knew the kid he’d hit was a brat - it was common knowledge - but that didn’t make a difference on how your son had acted. 
His little feet kicked idly as he stared at his hands. “I know he was being mean to your friend okay? And he shouldn’t have taken that toy but you shouldn’t have hit him.” You knelt your hand rubbing over his knee. 
“You're mad.” He mumbled reusing to look up. “I’m disappointed.” You corrected him. 
His cheated heaved as he took a breath, and you already knew he wasn’t far off crying. The disappointment was far worse than anger in his mind. “I’m sorry.” He mumbled, his hands pulling at his polo.
“I know you are. But why?” You couldn’t get your head around why he had hit this kid! Ever since he was young you’d discouraged hitting and he’d never attempted it since starting school. You were sure you’d curved the habit but now you were unsure. 
“Why did you hit him?”
Noah sniffled his shoulders slumping as you watched him, waiting. He knew he wasn’t getting out of this one. “He kept being mean to Conner and he wouldn’t do anything! He pushed him over yesterday and the teacher didn’t believe us.” Your jaw tightened slightly as he relayed the story. “That doesn’t mean you hit him.”
He nodded. “I mentioned it last night at practice, and Conner got upset, so Patrick asked what happened, and he said that a bully won't stop unless you show him you're just as strong.” He looked up, his big eyes wet, as he rubbed a fist across his ruddy cheeks. 
You hummed pulling him in for a hug.
You were gonna kill Patrick.
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“You told my son to hit a boy.” 
Patrick grimaced leaning against his car as your voice carried down the phone. “Hello to you too.” He mumbled. 
“Patrick.” You snapped. 
“I didn’t tell him to hit the kid!”
“You told him to get him back! He’s eight! He doesn’t understand that ‘get him back’ doesn’t mean literally do the same thing.”
“I didn’t think he’d listen to me! I was just tryna make the kid feel better.” You scoffed mumbling under your breath. Shifting his grip on the phone he took another drag of his cigarette. “I’m sorry alright! I didn’t think he’d take it literally.”
He couldn’t lie part of him got a small kick out of it. The teachers weren’t doing anything and at least your son had the guts to stand up to the kid. Maybe he’d gone about it the wrong way but still, he doubted that kid would be trying anything again soon. 
“Get your ass over here right now.” Your tone was still harsh as you watched the window. “I want you to tell him what he did was wrong.”
Patrick’s eyes widened. “Hey, I’m his tennis coach, not some sorta ethics teacher.” He stamped out the cigarette a small smirk pulling at his lips as memories of that last time he’d ended up at your door flashed through his mind. 
Hell, that had been the first time he’d managed to render you speechless…more than once. He’d taken great amusement in the way you’d refused to look at him for the full week after, almost as if you were embarrassed that he’d worn you down that fast.
“I think you just want an excuse to get me back into your house.” He heard your groan and his grin only widened. “Mhm. One time wasn’t enough?”
“I’m going to skin you alive Zweig.”
“I love when you talk like that. It’s kinda hot knowing you think about me…even if it is about my demise.”
A scowl formed on your face as your hand tightened over your phone. Damn him. 
“You’ll be here in 30 minutes or i will make sure you can’t have any children.”
He chuckled, tongue darting out to wet his lips. He could almost picture the look on your face, the way your jaw clenched as your eyes would darken just a smidge.
“Anything you say, Sweetheart.”
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It only took one ring for you to open the door, a tight smile pulling at your lips as you let him in. “Just in time.” You mumbled not missing the way his eyes seemed to take an elevator sweep of your body.
Patrick grinned, hands shoved into his jeans as you closed the door. “Look’s like my future children are safe huh?”
“For now.” 
You turned heading towards the kitchen before yelling over your shoulder. “Take your shoes off.”
Patrick rolled his eyes before kicking his shoes off and following you through the entryway. Noah looked up from his plate, his eyes widening before a bright grin broke out when he noticed Patrick behind you. He raised his hand in greeting which Patrick returned with a smile of his own. 
“You remember how i spoke to you about what you did?” Noah’s gaze moved to you, his smile dulling slightly as he nodded. “Yeah.” You gestured to Patrick as you leaned against the counter. 
Patrick frowned something in his chest pulling at the way the normally lively boy seemed subdued almost as he listened to you. “Patricks gonna talk to you about the conversation you had alright?” You pushed off the counter sending Patrick a look which said ‘Don’t fuck this up’ before you paused by the doorway.
“You're not in trouble.” You reminded gently. Noah nodded, his shoulders relaxing when he registered that Patrick wasn’t there to yell at him. You smiled before turning to leave. “Wait. wait, wait, wait. You're not gonna…stay” He gestured to your son. 
“This is your problem.” You hummed watching as the man gaped at you. “You can solve this by telling him what you actually meant.” Patrick seemed to snap out of his shock. He’d caused this mess and now you were letting him talk to your son about it again! You were letting him parent your damn child!
He was not qualified for this. 
You sighed stepping closer as Noah watched you both. “I already laid the groundwork you just have to reinforce it. He’s gonna listen to you since it's you who he listened to the first time.” 
Before he could respond you’d already wandered away. He watched for a moment as you disappeared up the stairs before he turned back to the boy. Taking a small breath he clapped his hands before pulling out the chair next to him. 
“Alright kid, ready to talk?”
⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *⋆·˚ ༘ *
Half an hour later you were growing angsty. They were still talking. You hadn’t heard any screaming yet, neither had Patrick come looking for you which you assumed was a good thing.
Though you were quickly running out of chores. You’d cleaned your room and his room before doing both bathrooms. It couldn't help to just go and check…right?
Curiosity getting the better of you, you quietly returned downstairs. The soft echo of voices reached your ears as you paused by the kitchen door, peering through the crack. Your lips parted in slight shock as you watched your son nodding eagerly at whatever his coach was saying. 
He was practically half-lent across the table as he listened. The room fell quiet for a moment before your son's voice filled the silence. “Mommies still mad.” He said, his lips pulling into a frown. “Your Mom’s not upset bud.” Patrick sighed resting a hand on the table. 
“She’s probably just shocked more than anything. Shocked and maybe disappointed but she's not mad.” He reassured, his tone softer than you’d ever heard. Something in your chest pulled as you watched the two. The way your son shifted ever closer filled you with a slight warmth.
Your ex wasn’t the best father, too caught up in his own company even when he had Noah to make an effort. You knew he was missing a male role model and you’d spent many nights kicking yourself for the downfall of your relationship.
He really trusted Patrick. You swallowed your hand curling over the door knob as your son got off his chair. You watched with bated breath as he stopped by Patrick's legs, his small voice mumbling. “Hug?”
Patrick seemed to freeze for a moment, his eyes glancing around the room. He didn’t seem to notice you before he looked back down to Noah’s pleading gaze. “Sure buddy.” He smiled helping the boy climb into his lap.
Patrick fumbled for a moment before figuring out the best way to hold him, his large hands rubbing over his back. “You know you're really lucky right?” Noah hummed pulling back slightly. “How?”
Patrick smiled. “Your mom really loves you. The fact she was so worried over this means that she really cares okay? I promise you she’s not mad.” Noah nodded. “She's not mad,” he repeated, the message finally seeming to sink in as he buried his head back into Patrick's chest. 
His hand continued to rub soothing patterns as he let himself enjoy the affection. It made his heart warm almost the way the little boy seemed to finally properly relax. “You really hit the jackpot.” He teased feeling Noah shift. 
“I’m pretty sure you got the best mom in the whole world.”
Noah giggled pulling back again. “I did!” He grinned. 
You stepped back, your head hitting the wall as their voices drifted into the background. Taking a breath you tried to suppress the smile pulling at your lips as the scene replayed over and over in your head. 
Patrick thought you were a good Mom. The thought was insane. The fact that you liked it was even wilder.
Taking a breath you pushed off the wall. You’d let them be for now.
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lolaxbunnyy · 10 months ago
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IDK IF YOU STILL DO MY HERO ACADEMIA AS IM NEW- but I love your writing so
What about poly Bakugo, Deku, Todoroki x Fem!reader who’s nine months pregnant, due any day now. She’s about to go into labor but they’re not home due to a mission
Idk if I explained this well 💀
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also I hope this is good enough I haven’t been on here in a while 😬 . Also I gave the baby a name and a gender if you want something else then you can feel free to change it. Also if anybody has anything they would like me to write please ask!
warnings: fem black reader, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of birth, nothing bad though just enjoy.
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SHOTO, IZUKU, AND KATSUKI. The top three most amazing and well known pro heros who were well loved by their fans had a little secret. They had a pretty little wife who was carrying one of their babies. Katsuki decided that he was going to be the one to get her pregnant first, the other two had no problem with that. After months of trying and no show she was finally pregnant and all four of them were so happy to finally have their first kid.
It’s been 9 months already and their precious baby girl has yet to leave her place within her mamas tummy.
Y/N rubbed her swollen belly as she did her rotations on her exercise ball. Katsuki’s mom was here helping her out with the little things that she needed. Mitsuki loved her from the moment Katsuki introduced them and now that she’s going to have a little grandchild she was even more happy with her future daughter in law.
"Y/N honey. The boys are calling again."Mitsuki said as she walked in from the kitchen to the living room rolling her eyes. “This is the fourth time they’ve called in the last hour.” Mitsuki chuckled.
"They're so worried that you're going to pop before they get back." Y/N grabbed the phone from, Mitsuki’s hand and put it up to her ear.
“Hello?” “Hey, baby. You doing okay?” Y/N rolled her eyes even though he couldn’t see her. “Yes I’ve been okay since the last time you called.” She heard him chuckle. “Okay. You’re a little worked up. What happened? Sick of us calling?” Y/N giggled. “Nope, never. I can’t even miss or worry about you guys because you’re too busy calling all the time instead of focusing on your task that you three were sent to do.” Before Izuku could respond she heard the faint voice of someone talking to him. “Oi? Is that Curls?” Katsuki of course.
Y/N heard what sounded like the phone being snatched away from Izuku. “Oi, Curls! If you ever hand up in my face again we’re gonna have some problems when I get back home, you hear me?” Y/N chuckled. “Yes sir.” She heard the blonde kiss his teeth before handing the phone back to Izuku.
“Sorry, bout that. Anyways you’ve got some scolding to do to Katsuki anyways.” “Don’t you dare tell her about that!” She could tell Izuku rolled his eyes. “He was being careless today and almost lost his leg.” Katsuki grumbled. “ ‘Was not bein’ fuckin’ careless. ‘The hell was I s’posed to know he was gonna turn his leg in to a fuckin’ chain saw?!” Y/N pursed her lips. “Y’know if you two are done bickering we have matters to attend too.”
Shoto said out of nowhere. “That’s right. Well baby, look like we gotta go. We’ll see you next week, hopefully.” Katsuki butted in. “Yeah so tell the brat to avoid her eviction notices till then.” Y/N laughed. “I’m sure she heard you, Kat. I’ll see you boys next week. I love you.” “We love you more baby.” Then the phone clicked and the call was over.
Y/N sighed. She truly did miss them. Sure she enjoyed the company of her soon to be in laws, but she missed her boys. It was quiet and peaceful while they were away and she hated that. The bed was always cold and empty and she also hated that but it still smelled of them and she could at least appreciate that. So did the large shirt that she borrowed from Shoto’s side of the closet.
The boys had already been gone for two weeks and they’d be back home next week but it doesn’t feel like Blossom can wait any longer to be out in the world. Her eyes trailed over towards the belly cast that she had gotten done. The boys had decorated it all pretty and even drew a little family of four on it in Katsuki’s terrible excuse of a drawing. She’d never tell him that though because even if it was bad it’s still cute and still has meaning to it. She can still even feel their careful hands on her stomach.
Izuku’s hands are the most scarred and a little calloused but still firm and calming. Katsuki’s hands being the most calloused and somehow a bit sweaty from time to time. Sho’s hands were the softest but were always cold.
She missed the special treatment and massages they’d give her before they left. They were very caring and spoiling.
It’s been like this since they’ve found out that she was pregnant. They couldn’t be home for her, they had their moms take care of her. Then when they came home for the night, they’d be all over her because in their words, “you look so cute when you’re pregnant.”
She smiled softly at Mitsuki as she smelled the cooking of her favorite food. It’s getting later and later and there was a storm outside brewing. She didn’t want her poor boys caught outside in the rain.
"Y/N, Inko sent some more clothes for Blossom." Mitsuki smiled as she handed them to her. “Awe. We’re going to run out of space in her little closets.” Y/N held the shirt to her stomach. “Do you like it, B?” Y/N suddenly winced at a sharp pain in her stomach. “Okay, I’ll put it away.” But the pain kept coming. Mitsuki helped Y/N up carefully and at that very moment, her water broke.
Mitsuki immediately started to call phones. "Inko, Rei! It's happening! I need you here now! The babies coming!"
Mitsuki was rushing around the house to get the bags ready and extra clothes before helping her soon to be daughter in law towards the car.
Once they arrived after some time Mitsuki rushed in to get a nurse and she came back with a nurse who had a wheelchair ready and the both of them helped Y/N out of the car in to the chair and she was wheeled in and rushed towards the maternity floor. They put her in a room and went to go get things ready for her.
“Where the fuck are they going?!” Y/N whimpered out as one if her hands held her stomach while her other arm was draped across her face. Rei and Inko walked in. "They're going to get everything ready. More doctors and your epidural for your pain, Honey."Inko responded and Y/N hummed in pain.
“Did you call the boys?” Rei asked and Mitsuki nodded her head as she tried to get Y/N comfortable and situated. "Yes but they're not answering. I think they're too busy in what they're doing."
Rei let out a soft okay before looking at the clock on the wall. 12:03 AM it read. A nurse came back in and injected her with the medicine but it didn’t have time to do its job because right after the doctors came in and it was time for her baby girl to come out in to the world.
Everything went smoothly. (beside the three mothers having to stop Y/N from attacking the nurse. Twice. First time because if her giving her the epidural late and second because the bitch almost dropped her baby.) when Blossom was all cleaned up it was about. 2:19 when Y/N got to hold her baby and feed her.
She was so pretty. Her skin was a mix between Y/N and Katsuki and her hair was blonde and straight but Y/N was sure that her curls would come in soon. Last but not least her eyes her round and (e/c) just like her moms as she looked up at her through her blonde eyelashes. The three mothers huddled around Y/N to look at their granddaughter. "Awe. She's so pretty." Inko cooed softly. “I’ve got to get pictures.” Rei gushed and both her and Inko rushed to their purses to get their phone out while Mitsuki stayed by Y/N.
"Do you want me to get her so you can rest?" “Yes please, if you don’t mind.” Mitsuki took Blossom and soon after, Y/N was knocked out.
Izuku was the last person to get out of the bath for that morning. They’d been up since midnight going on a fake lead, practically wasting their time all night. Izuku grabbed what he thought was his phone but noticed that it was Katsuki’s. “Hey, Kachaan? You’ve got 10 missed calls from your mom.” Katsuki raised an eyebrow as he set down his freshly cooked spicy ramen.
He went to his call log and clicked on his mom’s name in face time. "Hello?" His mom’s face showed in the camera. “You called 10 times?” He said unamused. Thinking that it was just her being worried and paranoid again. "Well, I needed to tell you something." Katsuki hummed. “Kay?” The camera flipped around and Katsuki saw blonde hair then the phone fell to the floor as his mom let out an agitated ‘damn it’ before picking it up and a sleeping baby was shown.
“Is that?” "Yep." Inko cut off her son. “That’s Blossom guys!” The boys mouths dropped. Their daughter was so pretty just like her mommy. After that face time call that day the boys had to call off the mission to get home to their girls immediately.
Y/N was released from the hospital two days before they could come home so when they made it back they instantly without a second thought came straight home and they finally got to see their daughter. Blossoms little hair started to curl up a little so she most definitely started to look like Y/N.
Katsuki was the first to hold her and she was so small Katsuki feared that he might break her. Izuku and Shoto walked towards Katsuki, standing on either side of him as they looked down at their daughter. “She most definitely looks like a Blossom.” Shoto spoke softly as the little baby curiously looked at the three men.
Their moms smiled at them. "Congrats boys!" Mitsuki had tears in her eyes as little sniffles came out. "Oh my goodness. I'm finally a grandma! I'm never gonna get over this!" She cried into Inko’s shoulder and Inko patted her back comfortingly. “I wanna hold her next.” Izuku held his arms out and Katsuki carefully handed Blossom to him. Once he was secure in his arms, Katsuki turned towards Y/N.
He smiled softly and he walked over towards her giving her a kiss on her cheek. He watched the others coo over the little blonde haired baby.
“Thank you so much, baby.” Three months later, the world knew about their two girls after Izuku had posted a video of Blossom giggling away at Katsuki and Shoto making silly faces at her while Y/N just watched in the background with a big smile on her face. That video was the most brought up topic in their latest interviews and they didn’t mind at all telling the world about their girls.
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this story belongs to @lolaxbunnyy !!
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whore-ibly-hot · 2 months ago
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How would Mr. Critch, Mr. Murphy, Evan, and Carter react to Y/n getting sick?
(love your boarding school btw❤️)
(also I'm sick with a cold😫)
ARGHAHAHAHGG7RURH I LOVE SICK FICS!
Mr. Critch: He'd be extremely cross with you, what nerve of you to skip his class, is it because you think your special, being the head masters kid? He pulls Harrison aside, and demands the boy tell him why you aren't present. When Harrison explains, he scolds him harshly for not having you 'quarantined'. He quickly moves you to the nurses ward, wanting you to be away from contaminating others and full focused on making up the work you are missing. Still, he's oddly doting. He makes sure you're eating healthy, checking your fever and assuring you stay alongside him. He wants you obedient. He knows what's best, just let him treat you. He'll keep track of all your medicines, and the moment you're better he promises you can go back to your room with Harrison. He enjoys this quiet time with you, and a part of him, the one who reads to you while you try and sleep, wishes to imagine this moment as domestic.
"The fever should be breaking soon, it's okay." He dabs at your forehead. "I'll find a way to get you cleaned up after. I promise." He assures.
Carter: Much like Mr. Critch, he's strict about what you can do. As class president, it's his duty to prevent an outbreak. He'll bring you to the nurses office, and ensure you keep up with your studies. He's more condescending, constantly reminding you of how kind he's being, taking time out of his day to care for you when he could be working. You should be able to care for yourself, he'd say, but when you'd send him away, he'd refuse to go. He takes a little extra time 'diagnosing' you, it would help him for biology class, he claimed. He'd run his hands over your neck and shoulders, touching your chest and working his way down. He'd gently feel your head for fever.
"What?" He scoffs, looking at you with annoyance. "The nurse is far too busy to give you the treatment you need, I'm making sure you aren't worsening. Lift your shirt a bit, let's just continue the exam."
Evan: He's pissed. He just got out of a great fucking game, and you weren't even in the crowd, not even for Harrison. His cock was aching, he'd planned to drag you to the after party and get his dick into you, but you didn't show. He'll practically kick down your door, and he's quick about it once he realizes you're sick. He doesn't want Harrison being a bitch and trying to keep you in his room. He gets you to his dorm, gives you some cough syrup and an edible he snagged from Pez, to keep you mellow. If he can't fuck you, he's at least going to keep you around. You're still got, even with a red face and stuffy nose. He won't exactly be doting, you'd have to ask two or three times before he'd get you anything but water, but he does like the feeling of control he's got over you. He'd put on a movie and keep you on his lap, assuring you he's not gonna get sick. Let him kiss you while your sleepy, let him grope you while he changes you from your uniform to one of his oversized jerseys. And most importantly, he expects you to care for him when he gets sick from swapping spit with you.
"God, you're burning up. Good thing I brought you in here, huh? Wouldn't want that shit head roommate leaving you to suffer alone in your room when you got a big strong stud here to look after your sick ass." He groans, adjusting you so your head lays across his chest.
Mr. Murphy: Absolute caring bear man, you're immediately moved to wherever you feel safest, preferably his apartment at the school, but the nurses office or your own dorm works. If you choose his apartment, he'll be thrilled at spending the time with you, even though seeing you as a sick little thing makes his chest ache. He'd stand over the stove for hours, digging through old recipe cards from his mom. He's usually more of a meat and potatoes guy, but he'll try his mommas soup and roll recipes, just for you. He makes sure you take your medicine, but nothing you don't want to take. He refuses to let you think about your school work, and insists he'll excuse you and talk to Critch (he thinks that guy has a major stick up his ass). He's got the coziest place by far, thick quilts and a cozy plaid couch.
"Easy, kid, easy." You're desperate to chug down the soup, but he's pacing you. "If you do throw up cause of this bug you've got, that's fine, but I'd rather my cooking not be the cause. You've got all the time in the world to eat it, and I'll always make more if you want." He takes a spoonful from his bowl. "Don't make me feed ya now." He teases.
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antheshewro · 3 months ago
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Levi Ackerman headcanon — (My) analysis on his intimacy
Each time I wander around Tumblr and I read about how AOT fans picture Levi in a sexual context, I see a lot of fanfictions of him being a dom and a master of sex—very dominant, rough, knows every single position in bed. Given that I respect people's personal headcanons when it comes to characters since those aren't absolutely hurtful to anyone, I felt like sharing my own headcanons on his sexuality.
If we read the manga and analyze Levi's background, there's nothing that tells us that he's a virgin or not. Unless Isayama would say he is (I don't think he specified it, correct me if I'm wrong), there's a big question mark on that matter. What I do believe is that Levi knows about sex. He is, to me, like Sheldon Cooper from The Big bang theory: he knows the basics. The media shows him as a bookworm, which leads me to think that some of his knowledge on that subject came from books that he read during his life. I do picture him as one that he began to read to fight against the picture he had about himself, as an Underground resident; later in life, he began to read because he enjoyed it and it relaxed him.
That being said, just like Sheldon Cooper approached the topic of sex, flirting and dating, Levi knows how men and women would flirt and the purpose behind it for example. He mostly sees it from his comrades and the people in the Underground, but even though he recognizes a certain flirty comment or attitude, it's just that. It's like he would talk about it like he's reading from a manual. That doesn't mean he lacks affection, he's one that always showed that he cares in his own way.
Here it comes the topic of sex. I previously stated that we don't know if Levi is a virgin or not unless Isayama makes it canon. In my honest opinion, he is. During all his life and since he was a kid living and growing up in the Underground, he mostly focused on surviving, filling his stomach and not getting physically abused (just like in the Bad Boy chapter). An important detail, however, is that his mother Kuchel was a prostitute. Now, houses in the Underground were surely cramped and small; think about when Kenny found little Levi, that house was surely small. Or even the scene in Bad Boy where he makes tea; that house most likely had a bedroom, kitchen and living room altogether. If it had other rooms, those were as small as ever. A kitchen that if two people fit inside would get stuck, or a bathroom that was a stall.
When Kuchel had her clients inside her house, I firmly believe she tried to protect her son by letting him hide somewhere. Little Levi learned to recognize the moments where his mother had to work, hiding in a spot where the men she "welcomed" there wouldn't see him or else, they'd leave and that meant no money. No lunch nor dinner. Or worse, some sick men would try to have his way with him (remember in Bad Boy when those men talked about him having the same "skills" as his mother and wanted to sell him? Also, he didn't seem to be unaware about what they were talking about. That means Levi knew about what his mom's job was).
Kuchel would teach little Levi to hide, cover his ears and wait until she was done. But sometimes, as we know, men are brutal with prostitutes. She got some violent ones, and as much as she tried to keep quiet, Levi would hear her. And when he would see how those men were doing to poor Kuchel, he got traumatized. He heard their lewd words, their slurs and curses, and that got Levi permanently traumatized. From that moment on, he would see sex as violence, pain, something hurtful. No matter if he would educate himself on the matter, the wounds would always be fresh. He got so sick of that scenery, that it was like something switched in him. With him joining the Scouts and everything he went through while being a soldier, he – of course – focused on his job and the people he unfortunately lost up until the final battle.
In terms of approach to his own sexual desires, I see him being conflicted. He's a man, a human being; he got aroused at least once, to me. But that would be it. He knows what his body is trying to tell him, but indulging in self pleasure would be just because he feels too overwhelmed by it. As if he feels itchy and needs to scratch.
He surely had women flirting and throwing themselves at him. Just like he said to Zeke, he had a few successes with ladies. But that didn't mean he slept with them; again, he could recognize he was popular and some shamelessly drooled after him. He knows what dates are (he said, somewhere in the manga, "hot titan date" which if we want to be obnoxiously meticulous, that means he knows what a date is. Oh well).
This is just a little rant and random headcanon I wanted to share after quite a long time of pondering if it was a good idea or not. Once more: that's just my personal headcanon on Levi. Feel free to agree, disagree or share your own if you want 🩵
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starlightkun · 3 months ago
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❧ word count: 26.1k ❧ genre: angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, paranormal/supernatural au, ghost!jisung ❧ warnings: mentions of death, prominent side character dies early in the fic, depictions of grieving, family member of the reader is sick (it’s dementia-like, though the disease is never named in the fic), family tension/drama (reader has some family members that are not very nice to her), reader has some sleep/physical health issues at one point, reader is just really going through it in this fic for a while ❧ extra info: the reader’s mom in this has early-onset memory issues; i didn’t name a specific disease because im not a medical expert of any kind and didn’t want to misrepresent any real-life illness in this fic. i combined both my own experiences with my own family members who have had these kinds of illnesses and some research, but i am not an expert and the representation in this fic may not be entirely accurate! ❧ author’s note: i don’t think i’ve done a spooky fic like this before? but this one was super fun! also i will say it takes a little bit for jisung to show up, so please be patient when you don’t see him in the first few scenes, he’ll be there, i promise! ❧ sequel
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That night, the rain was still pounding against the windows. Your mom had gone to bed a while ago, but your mind was restless. Something had happened again as you were helping your mom get ready for bed. Your stepdad’s reading glasses, which were on the nightstand on his side of their bed, as they had been since he passed, had fallen off with seemingly no rhyme or reason. Not wanting your mom to get spooked about the house again, you reassured her that you had just bumped into the furniture—her back was turned when they fell—but it left you with an uneasy feeling.
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“Hi, Hyukjun.” You picked up the phone call from your stepdad as you headed back towards your office building from the restaurant you’d taken your lunch break at.
“Hi, sweetheart. How are you?” His warm, familiar voice was on the other end as always, though there was something different about it, something you couldn’t quite put your finger on from the quality of your phone speaker. Your steps slowed thoughtfully as you listened more attentively, a pit growing in your stomach.
“I’m good,” you answered shortly, suspicion creeping over you. “How are you two?”
It wasn’t that you didn’t appreciate hearing from your stepdad, you were on good terms with him. Your father passed when you were a little girl, and your mom continued to raise you on her own, not even considering any romantic prospects until you graduated high school. She and Hyukjun only dated for six months before marrying and had been happily married since. Hyukjun was a mild-mannered divorcee with three adult sons of his own, all of whom were at least a decade older than you, and none of which you were exceptionally close with. When your mom had been diagnosed only five years into their marriage, he began taking care of her—no question and no complaints. With her condition, you were fairly certain that you visited them more than Hyukjun’s own kids did, despite all of them living nearby to your knowledge.
He at least didn’t beat around the bush anymore. “She’s getting worse, Y/N.”
“How bad?”
“She thinks the house is haunted,” he admitted. “And I…”
“What?” You prompted him.
“She’s been asking for you. I know you’re busy, but if you could visit soon, I think it’d really help her.”
“Yeah, I have some time this weekend,” you agreed immediately. “I’ll be there.”
“Thanks.”
You were arriving at the building then, slowing to a stop outside as you prepared to hang up. “My break is ending, Hyukjun, I’ve got to go.”
“Of course,” he acquiesced. “Hey, I love you.”
“I love you too.” You looked up at the gray storm clouds gathering in the sky above you. “And tell Mom I love her, and I’ll be there soon.”
“I will. Have a good rest of your day at work, sweetheart.”
“Right. Bye.”
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When your mom and Hyukjun got married, you already had a lease on a small place closer to your job in the city, so your mom sold your childhood home and moved in with Hyukjun. Despite the small twinge of sadness at her selling your childhood home, the place where you, your mom, and dad had all been together, you were happy that she was no longer there by herself. Their home was a quaint two-story, two-bedroom townhome, with well-tended flowerbeds and a porch swing out front. A long time ago, you knew that this house had been your stepbrothers’ childhood home, the three of them sharing what was now the guest room, Hyukjun and his ex-wife occupying the primary bedroom that was now his and your mother’s. Hyukjun had been divorced for many years before he met your mom, you didn’t know the exact number off the top of your head—you weren’t sure if you had ever been told.
The snapdragons were in bloom, stalks of purples and blues and pinks, and you squatted down next to one. Feeling a bit like a child, you gently squeezed the sides of one flower to make the “mouth” of the dragon open, like Hyukjun had shown you one of the first times you’d met, the very first time you ever went to his house. The front door opened, and you looked up to see your stepdad stepping out of the house. You stood up, walking up the three short steps from the sidewalk to meet him on their porch.
“I saw you coming up the street,” he explained, gesturing to the front window. “It’s good to see you, Y/N.”
“Hi, Hyukjun.” You hugged him. “Good to see you too.”
“I just wanted to give you a heads up. She’s calm, but she’s not exactly… here,” he explained. “I didn’t want you to be caught off-guard.”
You nodded in understanding. “Okay. Thanks for letting me know.”
Following your stepdad into the house, he guided you towards the living room at the back of the house.
“Hon?” He poked his head into the living room.
Your mom looked up from where she had been reading a book in an armchair, her face breaking into a gentle smile. “Oh, Sangwoo, you’re back.”
“Yes, I picked Y/N up, just like you asked.” Your stepdad stepped aside to let her see you.
You pushed aside the alarms going off in your mind to give your mother as calm of a smile as you could, approaching her with your hand outstretched. “Hi, Mom, it’s Y/N.”
“Y/N, hi, sweetie.” She beamed at you, taking your hand that was offered and squeezing it tight. “How was school?”
“It was good, I had a good day,” you answered brightly. Looking down at the book in her lap, you asked, “What are you reading?”
Your mother had been a Literature teacher for all her life, before her diagnosis forced her to retire many years before she ever wanted to. She would read to you at any opportunity when you were a kid, especially at bedtime. It was always easiest to get her talking now about whatever book she was reading, no matter where her mind was.
“Oh, I’ll tell you about it later. First, do you have homework?”
“No, Mom, nothing today.”
Hyukjun cleared his throat then. “You must be hungry, Y/N. Would you like something to eat?”
“Yes, yes, go get a snack.” Your mother insisted.
“Okay,” you acquiesced, giving her hand another tight squeeze. “I’ll be right back after my snack. I want to hear about your book.”
In their kitchen, you turned on your stepdad with wide eyes. “She’s not just mixing up your names anymore, she thinks you are my dad!”
“Sometimes…” Hyukjun nodded, leaning against a kitchen counter. “Not always. She has her lucid days still.”
In the bright kitchen lighting, you could see a certain tiredness in Hyukjun that was new, a pallor in his skin, a hitch in his breaths, a lag in his movements, none of which used to be there.
“What’s wrong?” You asked, eyes locking on his. “With you? You were going to tell me something on the phone, and you didn’t. Tell me.”
He sighed, the sound dragging out into a wheeze and then a hacking cough that he covered in his elbow, and you winced just watching him. When he’d caught his breath again, he answered, “They found a tumor, in my lung. I have maybe six months, Y/N.”
“That’s it?!” You blurted out. “I-I mean, even with chemo, or radiation, or whatever?”
“I’m not—”
“It’s not treatable?”
He cast a sidelong glance down the hall, at the room where your mother was. “Someone needs to take care of her. I need to be here, and after I’m gone, our savings will go towards her care. We can’t spend it all on something that might give me another few months.”
“Another few months with her! With us!” You grabbed his arm, knowing how desperate you sounded. “What about your kids? Do they know what you’re doing?”
“No.” His voice was heavy, but determined. “I know you all don’t talk… but don’t tell them, please.”
His face wavered in your vision as your eyes filled with tears. You tried to swallow them down, but a couple spilled over. “Let me move in, and help. I want to take care of both of you. Please.”
“What about your job?”
“I’ll figure it out. Don’t worry about me. You’ve done enough for me, for us. Let me do something for you.”
“Thank you.”
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Your work agreed to let you move into a part-time remote position. Most days you were able to get all your done, early even. Not only was Hyukjun there, but a memory care aide named Nayoung came by for an hour three days a week to assist as well.
It had been a month since you moved into the primary bedroom on the second floor, the bedroom that used to be your mom and stepdad’s. You found out that they moved their things into the guest room on the first floor two months ago, when your mom hurt herself on the stairs. It had only been a skinned knee, but Hyukjun didn’t want to risk something worse.
That night you laid in bed with your laptop open, desperately trying to finish up a report that was due the next day. Today had been rougher, your mom needing constant redirection and reorientation, not to mention the conversation that you had with your stepdad earlier this evening. Usually after your mom went to sleep, the two of you would watch a movie or a couple episodes of a show, or just have a drink and chat. It was a nice, slow, easy part of your day with just the two of you. But this time as you rooted around the for the fresh tub of ice cream that you had just bought from the store, and called to him over your shoulder asking if he wanted a bowl, you saw him waiting for you with papers in his hand.
One of the errands he’d sent you on today, in addition to groceries, the post office, and the pharmacy, had been to an attorney’s office. You’d known that, you weren’t stupid. There, you had been handed a large envelope with the law firm’s name embossed on it, and your stepdad’s name typed on a label under that. You didn’t inquire as to the contents of the envelope from the receptionist, nor your stepdad when you delivered it to him upon returning home. It was none of your business. But at the kitchen table that night, he showed you the documents that he had drawn up.
Once he passed, you would own his house, the one that you lived in now, as a life estate pur autre vie. For the life of another. Until your mother passed, you would own his house, and could stay here and take care of her. Then, once she passed, the house would go to his sons, your stepbrothers, as he’d always intended.
You sighed and deleted the sentence you’d just written. “Stupid, stupid,” you muttered to yourself. Looking at the time, you let out another sigh and rubbed your face in exasperation. “I’m never going to fucking finish this.”
Setting the laptop aside, you pushed your covers off yourself and got out of bed. Keeping your footsteps light, you crept downstairs and into the kitchen to get yourself a glass of water. After drinking a whole glass in the kitchen, you refilled it to bring it back up to bedroom with you. Halfway up the stairs, the sconce on the wall next to your head flickered on, making you pause. You’d left all the lights off on your way down. Peering behind the frosted glass cover, you reached your hand back there and tightened the bulb. The light stopped flickering, and you looked around at the empty, dark staircase again. Shrugging to yourself, you finished your journey to your room.
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Cutting up your mom’s breakfast into small pieces, you hummed a song that had been stuck in your head. The sound of something clattering startled your peaceful reverie, and your head snapped up immediately. You darted around the kitchen counter to get your eyes on where your mom was sitting at the kitchen table.
“You okay, Mom?” You asked, eyes searching her for any signs of injury or distress.
“Oh, I’m fine, sweetie,” she reassured you, pointing at a point on the floor further away from her. You saw that a silver utensil was gleaming up from the tile. “I dropped my fork, that’s all.”
“I’ll grab you another one when I bring your food in, don’t worry about it,” you reassured her. “Leave it, I’ll pick it up in a sec.”
Returning to the kitchen, you finished cutting her food, then prepared yours and Hyukjun’s plates. Carrying all three of them in, along with your mom’s clean fork, you cocked your head when you saw the fork sitting on the closest edge of the table to the kitchen. Looking at Hyukjun, who had joined your mom at the table in the interim, you said, “You didn’t have to pick up the fork, Hyukjun, I was going to grab it.”
His face betrayed his momentary confusion, looking between the food you just set in front of him, then to the fork on the edge of the table. “That was there when I came in. I didn’t move it.”
As you set your mom’s food down for her, you asked, “Mom, did you get the fork?”
But her eyes had a familiar far-out appearance, and you knew she wasn’t going to be able to answer you. You shook your head at yourself, putting your own plate down and grabbing the dirty fork off the table. Dropping it in the kitchen sink, you then returned to the table to take your seat next to your mother and across from Hyukjun.
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You weren’t sure why you were awake at first. Everything seemed quiet, but something didn’t feel right. Sitting up in bed, you checked the time on your phone. 2:48 a.m. You desperately wanted to go back to sleep, but you couldn’t shake the uneasiness in your mind, and so you pushed the covers off of you.
As soon as you were at the top of the stairs, you could hear voices downstairs, your mother’s and your stepdad’s. Your stepdad was clearly trying to keep his voice down, but your mom wasn’t, and she sounded distressed.
“Sangwoo, I’m telling you something’s wrong with this house! We need to go! Where’s Y/N?!” She demanded of him.
“She’s fine, she’s sleeping. Please, tell me what’s wrong with the house, and we can try to fix it,” he pleaded with her quietly.
You finally made it to the hallway just outside their bedroom, taking in the scene of your mom’s wild, scared eyes and Hyukjun’s desperate concern. “Mom, I’m here, I’m okay.”
“Y/N!” She let out a gasp of relief as soon as she saw you. “Oh, you’re okay.”
“Yes, Mom, I’m okay.” You offered her your hand, and she grabbed it tightly. “What’s wrong? Why are you up?”
“I’ve been trying to tell your dad—” She gestured to Hyukjun pointedly. “But this house isn’t right.”
“What do you mean?”
“It just isn’t right,” she repeated insistently. “What happened to our old house? We need to go back there!”
You looked at Hyukjun desperately, at a loss for words to explain that she sold it years ago. Thankfully, he took over.
“It’s late, hon. We can’t go all the way back to the old house this late at night, especially not with Y/N. It’s not safe,” he persuaded her gently.
She seemed to relax a little at this. “Oh. Right. It’s late.”
“Can you read me something, Mom?” You requested sweetly.
This finally brought a smile to her features, and she nodded, her grasp on your hand turning tender. “Oh, of course, Y/N. I’m sorry I woke you, sweetie.”
“It’s alright, Mom,” you reassured her, leading her back into their bedroom. “Everything’s alright.”
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Hyukjun’s funeral was quaint. It was kept to family and close friends, and organized mostly by his sons and ex-wife. You didn’t mind, your mother was in no shape to organize a funeral, and you were more than happy to step aside and support her through this while they dealt with the details.
Today of all days was one of your mother’s better days, possibly one of the best that she’s had in a while, and you didn’t know if that was better or worse. Better, you decided, so she could say goodbye to him properly. After the small funeral was the wake, held at Hyukjun’s home—which was now your home, you realized—and was a more open-door affair. Your mom’s memory care aide, Nayoung, came as well, which you were glad for. While your stepbrothers and their mother played host more than you, greeting guests as they showed up, chatting and reminiscing with them about all their shared memories of Hyukjun from years or even decades ago, it was still your residence, and you couldn’t bring yourself to just stay in a corner. Hyukjun had been your family too, for however brief a period of your life.
You were alone in the kitchen getting refreshments for yourself, your mom, and Nayoung when you sensed that you weren’t by yourself. Turning around, you did in fact see your stepbrothers entering the kitchen, followed by their mother.
You offered them all a small, polite smile. “Hi.”
“Glad we caught you, Y/N,” the oldest brother flashed you a grin. “You got a sec?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“We know it must be really tough for you, taking care of your mom by yourself now,” their mother said, her voice coated in an over-the-top sugary sweet sympathy.
You shrugged noncommittally. “Nayoung helps.”
The youngest jumped in, “We just wanted you to know that you and your mom can take as much time as you need to move out.”
“Of course, of course,” their mother agreed. “You know, a week or two.”
They all nodded and murmured in agreement, focusing the same overeager, empty, sympathetic faces on you that made you feel like you were surrounded by some kind of predator that wanted to empathize you to death. Steeling your nerves, you met all of their eyes in turn as you went to answer.
“We’re not moving out.” You informed them firmly. “Hyukjun left the house to me to keep taking care of my mom. After… it’s all yours.”
“And we’re supposed to believe you’ll just give it to us?” The youngest scoffed, immediately dropping his kind, caring act. All of their faces were somewhere between disbelief and anger.
“No, he set it up that way. You can get your copies of the papers from his attorney, Mr. Shin.” You brought out the business card for the attorney who drafted the papers. You’d tucked it into your wallet absentmindedly when it’d been given to you on your initial errand from Hyukjun, and you were glad you hadn’t had the time to clean out your wallet since. You set the business card down on the counter between you.
The oldest snatched up the card. “There’s no way…”
“We’re going to fight this. No way the house is yours,” the youngest swore.
The middle son spoke finally, his gaze hard as he glared at you. He practically snarled, “You’re not his family, you’ve never been.”
“It was good seeing you all again,” you said, no emotion in your voice. Abandoning your three glasses, you scooted around the counter, then around them, heading towards the kitchen door that they had been blocking the whole time. “Please have all communications about the property go through Mr. Shin. He’ll be able to answer your questions better than I can.”
Crying at a wake was normal. Encouraged even. But you weren’t amongst loved ones, remembering someone you’d lost. You were alone, sitting at the top of the stairs in the dark, crying into your arms to muffle your sobs as you tried to compose yourself from the confrontation you’d just survived. Barely. Your hands were balled into fists to keep them from shaking.
“Are you okay?” A quiet voice caught your attention, gentle, then hushed as he seemed to be speaking to himself, “Why are you asking that? Stupid, stupid.”
You picked your head up out of your arms, quickly wiping the tears that had been streaming down your cheeks as you spotted a young man at the bottom of the stairs. He had dark hair and was dressed in a pair of black pants, a white shirt, and what looked like a black cardigan over the shirt. You didn’t recognize him from the wake, but you hadn’t greeted everyone, nor did you know all the mourners personally. Many were either family friends of Hyukjun’s from before he met your mother, old colleagues, or distant relations.
Sniffling and trying to right your clothes, you offered him as much of a smile you could muster, “I’m sorry, it’s uhm, been a long day.”
He froze, his eyes locking on yours and going wide. The man looked behind him, as if expecting you to have been addressing somebody else, and upon seeing an empty hallway, he turned back to you and hesitantly replied, “That’s… okay. Are you alright?”
“Oh, as alright as I can be, I suppose,” you admitted, dabbing at your eyes with your sleeve again. You weren’t sure why you were telling this random man that, but he had spotted you sobbing at a wake, so there wasn’t much of a point in covering that fact up. “Were you looking for the bathroom or…?”
“No, just stretching my legs.” He pushed his hands into the pockets of his cardigan. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you.” You nodded. “I don’t think I saw you at the funeral. How did you know my stepdad? Family friend?”
“Yeah, I was around when his kids were growing up.”
“Oh, are you a childhood friend of his sons or something?”
“Friend is a stretch, I think,” he chuckled.
You couldn’t help but laugh bitterly as well, adding a polite but hollow, “I’m sure they appreciate you coming out to pay your respects.”
As he shifted on his feet, the shadows on his face lessened, letting you see his features better. You furrowed your brow with interest.
“How old are you? I mean—You don’t look older than me, you must’ve been much younger than them growing up.”
“I-I mean, we weren’t very close,” he stammered, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.
Feeling bad about putting him on the spot in this sort of scenario, you offered him a sympathetic smile. “Sorry, I didn’t mean anything by that. I didn’t grow up with my stepbrothers, so I guess it’s a bit hard for me to imagine them having friends—Oh!”
As soon as the words were out of your mouth, you slapped a hand over it, wishing you hadn’t said them, especially not to some stranger, who for all you know could turn right around and repeat it to your stepbrothers. That would be the last thing you needed, to give them another reason to hate you, and by extension, your mother.
“That didn’t come out right!” You desperately tried to backpedal, holding your hands out in front of you. “I-I meant that I haven’t met a lot of their friends, since our parents got together later in life, and—”
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” he reassured you calmly, taking a couple hesitant steps up the stairs. You scooted over to make room for him to sit next to you on the top step. He pressed himself against the banister, leaving plenty of space between you two. “I didn’t mean to, but I heard some of what they said to you in the kitchen.”
“I would normally be upset at you for eavesdropping, but I’m kind of glad that somebody else heard some of the shit they said to me this time,” you chuckled cynically.
“‘This time?’” He repeated questioningly. “Are they always like that to you?”
“I don’t see them that often. I think the first time I met the middle son was at the wedding, actually,” you said. “They started spending more holidays with their mom instead of Hyukjun when my mom… after her diagnosis.”
“Oh.”
“God, sorry, you don’t need to be hearing all this shit.” You shook your head at yourself. “I mean, I don’t even know your name.”
“I’m Jisung.”
“Y/N.”
“For what it’s worth, I don’t think it’s true. You and your mom are his family, too.”
You messed with the sleeves of your shirt as you stared at the bottom step, gnawing on your bottom lip, ignoring the metallic taste of blood when you broke skin. Finally, once you’d swallowed down the lump in your throat, you replied with a tight, “Thanks. And I mean, I understand why they would be upset. Their dad just died and two people who are essentially strangers to them are now living in their childhood home. Of course they feel weird about it.”
“That’s... gracious.”
“It’s true. And like I said, their dad died, they deserve some grace.” From elsewhere in the house, you could hear your mom calling your name, and immediately jumped to your feet. “Sorry, I’ve got to go.”
“I understand.” Jisung nodded to you. “It was nice talking to you, Y/N.”
“Yeah, you too. Thanks for listening, Jisung.” You waved to him over your shoulder as you rushed down the stairs and off in the direction of your mother’s voice.
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The next day, you had habitually started preparing three plates of breakfast before you caught yourself. In the first couple days after his passing, it was painfully in the foreground of your mind with everything you did, but this was the first time you’d found yourself going about a daily task and it had slipped your mind. You left the full plate of food in the kitchen to clean up later, and took just yours and your mom’s plates to the kitchen table.
“Do you want to go on a walk after breakfast?” You proposed as you ate.
It was something that Hyukjun and your mom did every morning. Sometimes you joined them, but usually you took the opportunity to clean up around the house or get work done in the quiet. Your mother had no trouble ambulating, it was her mind that was going faster than anything else. With Hyukjun no longer here to walk with her, you didn’t want her to lose that precious time going out, or the exercise. Not to mention, you needed to get out of the house again.
“Oh, I’d love to, sweetie,” she agreed with a smile, one that you noticed didn’t reach her eyes.
“After we’re done, I’ll clean up while you get ready.”
As you scooped the extra food into a plastic container at the end of breakfast, you realized the lid that you’d grabbed was the wrong size. Opening the cabinet that contained all the plastic containers, you squatted down with a sigh, mentally preparing yourself to ransack through the absolute mess that greeted you down there. Hyukjun normally kept it meticulously organized, all containers accompanied by their proper lids, but in your rush to clean up after everyone left the wake late last night, you had effectively ruined all of it.
You tried to just look under a haphazard stack of plastic containers, and they of course all came crashing out onto the kitchen floor. You groaned, plopping down onto your butt as you got ready to have to put them all back. But as you went to pick up the first one, an overwhelming, crushing feeling of loneliness and sorrow hit you like a bus, and you covered your face as you started sobbing. The hot tears stung your eyes, every shaking breath you took hurt your chest, and even the task of putting the tupperware back seemed impossible and monumental now.
Rubbing one of your eyes, you inhaled and forced yourself to grab just one container to put back. “Come on, don’t have time for this.”
Slowly, you put the containers away, until there was one lid left that had slid much further away from you. You crawled over to it, realizing the shape seemed familiar as you held it in your hands. Standing back up, you fitted it over the container of leftovers you had perfectly.
“Huh.” Your sobs petered out as you looked down at it curiously. “That could’ve been easier.”
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Throwing open the front door, you grunted as you hauled your heavy grocery bags into the home.
“Y/N? Is that you?” Nayoung’s voice called out. She had increased the frequency and duration of her visits since Hyukjun’s passing, and today you took the opportunity to do some much-needed restocking of the kitchen during her stay.
“Yeah!” You yelled back.
“Do you need any help?”
“No, I’m fine!” You hopped on one foot as you tried to wedge your other foot behind the door to close it. “Just—Shit!”
The door suddenly came loose, slamming closed even harder than you had opened it. Nayoung came around the corner with wide eyes, looking rather startled.
“Is everything okay?” She asked, taking a couple bags from your hands, looking you over inquisitively.
You looked between your still-raised foot and the door, a bit dumbfounded. You swore you hadn’t kicked it that hard. This wasn’t actually your house, after all.
“Yeah, Nayoung, I’m okay,” you reassured her, leading the way into the kitchen. “Do you have a window open? There must be a cross-breeze or something.”
“No, I don’t think so.”
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It was pouring rain outside, the sky dull and gray, occasionally lit up with flashes of lightning. The constant pounding downpour was interspersed with cracks of thunder that would rattle frames on the walls. The weather was so bad that Nayoung couldn’t even make it out, leaving just you and your mom all day. It wasn’t so bad, today was a better day for her. She was calm at least, despite the weather, absorbed in her books for most of the day. Maybe a little too absorbed, as it was hard to tear her away for meals or snacks. But you could get your work done and do chores around the house uninterrupted, and once you finished your own to-do list, you were able to sit down in the living room with her and read as well.
After a particularly bright flash of lightning, followed by a boom of thunder that made you feel like you were in a low-level earthquake rather than a thunderstorm, the lights went out entirely. You heard the telltale clatter of your mom dropping her book in surprise as she gasped.
“Mom?” You called out to her, both to check on her and so she knew that you were still there.
“I’m okay, sweetie,” she promised. “I just got startled and dropped my book.”
“Stay there,” you directed her, pulling out your phone and turning on your flashlight. You could see that her book had skidded some distance away from her, out of arm’s reach. “I’ll check the breaker. Don’t get up, I don’t want you tripping over anything.”
“Alright. Be safe.”
Opening the utility closet in the laundry room, you threw your hands up in exasperation as you looked over the circuit breaker. You had no fucking clue what you were doing. Right as you had turned on your phone, fully intent on searching the internet for what the fuck you were supposed to do now, the power came back on all on its own.
“Well, there we go!” You called out through the house, starting back towards your mom. “I’m a genius!”
Upon your return to the living room, you stopped when you noticed one key difference: The book was no longer on the floor. It was on the side table next to your mom. There was no way your mom could’ve moved fast enough to have gotten the book and then sat back down in the time since the lights turned back on.
You sighed gently. “I told you not to get up, Mom.”
“I didn’t.”
“Then how’d the book get there?” You pointed to the book knowingly.
“I didn’t—” She looked at it curiously, then at where it used to be on the floor. “Oh… I guess I must’ve… Sorry, sweetie.”
You walked over to rest a hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay, Mom. I’m sorry if I seemed upset with you. I just don’t want you getting hurt.”
She patted your hand. “I know, Y/N. You’re doing a good job.”
The rain was still pounding against the windows that night. Your mom had gone to bed a while ago, but your mind was restless. Something had happened again as you were helping your mom get ready for bed. Hyukjun’s reading glasses, which were on the nightstand on his side of their bed, as they had been since he passed, had fallen off with seemingly no rhyme or reason. Not wanting your mom to get spooked about the house again, you reassured her that you had just bumped into the furniture—her back was turned when they fell—but it left you with an uneasy feeling.
You’d pocketed the glasses instead of replacing them on the nightstand, and were staring at them on the kitchen counter now, fondly remembering the way he used to peer at you over the lenses as he read the newspaper in the morning and you made sarcastic quips about whatever headlines were on the pages facing you.
“Hyukjun?” You said his name into the empty air, uncertainty making your voice waver. After a beat of silence, you hissed, “Of course you weren’t going to get a reply, stupid, stupid.”
Trying to gather yourself, you moved to open the freezer, securing the tub of ice cream from inside it. Sitting at the kitchen table with two spoons, you set one in front of Hyukjun’s spot across from you. Glumly spooning some ice cream into your mouth, you barely tasted it as you stared at his empty chair.
“I miss you,” you said softly, not expecting an answer this time. “A lot. It’s not fair. I know that’s what your sons think, it’s not fair that it was you and not her. But… it’s not fair that we only got… so little time with you.”
You sniffled against the oncoming tears, eating another spoonful.
“I wish… I wish my mom had met you earlier, I wish you didn’t leave us so soon, I wish we got more time…” You looked down at the tub in front of you, your appetite gone. “And I wish I wasn’t eating your favorite ice cream by myself.”
You stood back up, taking both spoons with you into the kitchen. Dropping them into the sink to deal with in the morning, you put the ice cream away and shut off the kitchen lights. You left his glasses on the kitchen counter, deciding you would put them back in your mother’s room tomorrow. As you headed up the stairs, you paused at the top step, a memory of Hyukjun’s wake coming back to you. The nice guy who sat with you and listened to you. You really wished you could have somebody to talk to again.
Something in you made you look over your shoulder then, back down at the bottom step. You swore a darker shape was standing there, unclear in the night. Your heart rate spiked.
“Hyukjun…?” You whispered, hesitantly going down one more step to try to make out what you were seeing better. The shadow seemed to back up one step at the same time you did that, and another name came to your mind.
“Jisung?”
The figure moved closer, a beam of moonlight illuminating half of his shocked face. “You remember me?”
You should’ve yelled. You should’ve shouted at him to get out, called the police, any number of things ahead of what you actually did. Getting even closer, you nodded slowly. “Of course I remember you, Jisung.”
He was still staring at you in disbelief. “And you can see me? Again?”
“Yes,” you confirmed, standing on the step right above him. “You’re a ghost.”
It was meant to be a question, but it came out like a statement, like you had known all along, just saying common knowledge.
He swallowed. “Yes.”
You peered at the space around and behind him. “Is my stepdad here?”
“No.” He shook his head. “He wanted to stay, for your mom. I told him if he stayed, he could get stuck. He decided to go.”
“Go… where?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted.
“What about…” You looked up into his dark eyes hopefully. “Is my dad here?”
“It’s just me,” he answered quietly. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m glad he’s not… stuck. Either of them.” You breathed out, a mixture of relief and disappointment in your chest. Remembering what he told you at the wake, you asked, “You used to live here?”
“Before your stepdad bought it, yeah.”
You recalled the surprise on his face both tonight and at the wake when you addressed him. “You’re not used to being seen, are you?”
“No, I’m not. You’re the first person who’s seen me since…” He trailed off, biting the inside of his cheek as he seemed to be picking his words. “Since I’ve been like this.”
You nodded slowly, understanding what he meant. “Have you been… helping? Picking up my mom’s book? And closing the door? And the tupperware lid and the fork?”
Jisung nodded fervently. “I didn’t mean to scare you, or make you sad. I’m sorry. I just wanted to help you.”
“What about Hyukjun’s glasses today? Did you knock those off?”
He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “It was an accident… They were really close to the edge, I didn’t want them to fall off and break. So I tried to move them away from the edge, but there was this thunder, and I dropped them.”
You couldn’t help but burst into laughter at the mental image of a ghost getting spooked by thunder, slapping a hand over your mouth as you giggled. Jisung wasn’t laughing, but he did have a soft smile on his features as he looked at you.
“Sorry, sorry,” you were still chuckling as you tried to compose yourself.
“It’s okay…” He assured you. “I’m sorry for dropping them.”
“You didn’t break them, it’s fine.” You looked at him thoughtfully. He was wearing the same thing he was wearing when you met him at the wake, dark pants, dark shoes, a white button-up, and dark cardigan. You tilted your head curiously. “Are you sure my mom hasn’t seen you? She swears the house is haunted, you know.”
“I think she can tell that something is… off, sometimes. But no, she’s never seen me.”
“I’m guessing you have no clue why I can see you right now?” You surmised. “They don’t exactly give you a ghost handbook, do they?”
Jisung shook his head. “No, I don’t know.”
“Thank you again, by the way. For being so nice to me at the wake.”
“They really shouldn’t have been talking to you like that.” He frowned. “They have no clue… He loved you and your mom so much. You two are his family, too.”
You chuckled sadly. “So did you actually hear all of it, then?”
“I was already in there when they went in after you,” he confirmed. “I thought you might… I could create a distraction in another room if it got bad.”
“Do you do that a lot? Follow me around?”
His eyes widened as he clearly began to panic, shaking his head fervently. “N-Not like that! Only like, in normal places! I mean, like, there’s not a lot to do when you’re a ghost stuck in a house, and I think you’re cool—Oh god, I meant, uhm, I mostly stay on the first floor, promise!”
You couldn’t help but giggle again as he had missed the light teasing in your tone. “Mostly?”
Jisung visibly gulped. “I woke you up one time, when your mom was having a really bad time in the middle of the night and your stepdad couldn’t calm her down. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—”
“Jisung, it’s okay,” you tried your best to be reassuring, even as you let out choked laughter. “I don’t expect you to sit in a corner for eternity. Thanks for staying in normal places.”
“Thanks for not being creeped out…” He muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.
You let out a yawn, covering your mouth with your hand. After it passed, you gave Jisung a sheepish smile. “If I go to sleep right now… will I still be able to see you in the morning?”
“You… want to?”
“Yeah.” You smiled and shrugged. “Better than just talking to my mother, Nayoung, and myself like I usually do every day.”
The corners of his lips twitched as he went to nod. “I’ll try to be here in the morning. You should go to sleep.”
“Alright. Goodnight, Jisung.”
“Goodnight, Y/N.”
Halfway up the stairs, you turned back around to see him still standing at the bottom, watching you. You threw back a teasing, “Promise you’ll stay on the first floor?”
“Cross my heart.” He made an X over the left side of his chest.
“Not sure how much that’s worth coming from a ghost,” you grinned. “But I guess it’s the thought that counts.”
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In the morning, you sat with your feet dangling over the edge of your bed for an extra few seconds, very calmly contemplating your sanity. You had been spending the majority of your time in this house, talking to nobody else except your mother and Nayoung, who came five days a week for three hours at a time, your only other regular human interaction coming in the form of emails or the occasional phone calls with your co-workers. Was it really so unlikely that your brain was inventing someone new for you to talk to? How could you even determine if he was real or not? Did that even really matter?
With a sigh, you got to your feet and shuffled into your bathroom. Your mom had always been an early riser, something that hadn’t changed now, and you had to take care of your own morning routine before she woke up. While the shift in your schedule initially took some getting used to, the daily alone time that you got to devote to your own self-care was something you treasured, and helped you start your day in a good headspace.
Coming out of your bedroom refreshed and in clean clothes, you meandered down the stairs, listening for any signs of life in the rest of the house. If your mom was up, she would at least be moving around her room, if not elsewhere in the house. And then there was the possibility of seeing the ghost again.
Right as you reached the bottom of the stairs, your mom’s bedroom door opened, and she poked her head out. You smiled and walked over to her.
“Morning, Mom.”
“Hi, sweetie.” She took your arm, looking around the hallway.
“You okay?”
“Did he go out?”
You tilted your head, keeping your tone light as you asked, “…He?”
“Hyukjun,” she answered. “He usually leaves a note.”
You bit your lip and nodded. “Yeah, he had some errands, said he’ll be back soon. You can get on him about forgetting your note when he gets back.”
Her features relaxed, and she rubbed your back. “Thanks, Y/N. Don’t know what we’d do without you.”
There was a knock on the front door then, and you went to go open it up for Nayoung. As she helped your mom with the rest of her morning, you headed towards the kitchen to start on breakfast. A figure was already at the kitchen table, however, his back to you as he sat in the fourth chair that had always been empty for as long as you’d been in the house. Jisung turned around when he heard your footsteps, giving you a small wave.
“Morning,” you smiled and nodded, hoping you didn’t look too put-off. You weren’t sure if you would’ve been more surprised if he was here or not.
“Good morning.” His eyes followed you as you continued into the kitchen. From his seat, he could still see you over the kitchen counter. His hands were folded politely in his lap, and he watched you as you started pulling out ingredients for breakfast.
“So, what do you do all night?” You questioned. “Do you sleep?”
“Sometimes. Sometimes I read, or look at the moon, or think.”
“I think I’d hate being alone with my thoughts for eternity.” You shook your head, bringing down plates from the cabinet.
“It’s not so bad.” Jisung shrugged. “I wasn’t much of a talker before anyway.”
“An introvert?”
“Yes.” He tilted his head curiously. “You don’t normally cook for Nayoung.”
You looked down at the plates in your hand and realized that you had grabbed three instead of the normal two. Nayoung always ate breakfast before coming over, so you just had to make food for you and your mom. You’d done this before, accidentally making a serving for Hyukjun out of habit, but you knew that wasn’t what happened this time.
Putting the extra plate back, you said, “No, I was… I think I was about to make you a plate. Felt like I had a guest over.”
Surprisingly, this made Jisung crack a smile. “I appreciate it. Your food always looks good.”
“I don’t think it’s anything special.” You shrugged, turning on the stove. “I learned to cook from my mother, we just did it to survive. Hyukjun was a much better cook than either of us.”
“To survive?”
“After my dad passed…” You pursed your lips as you tried to think of how to phrase it, pushing around food in the pan. “She sort of closed up. My mom gave me a good life growing up, don’t get me wrong. But it’s hard being a single parent, and she never really made any friends, she spent all her time taking care of me or working. Then when I moved out, she closed up even more. I was kind of afraid she’d close all the way up, until she met Hyukjun.”
“I see…”
You heard footsteps coming from down the hall, and halted your conversation. Nayoung and your mom entered the kitchen dining area just a few moments later, paying Jisung no mind, clearly not seeing him at all.
“Y/N, were you on the phone?” Your mother asked as Nayoung guided her to her usual seat.
Nayoung took Hyukjun’s old place beside her.
“Oh, yeah, work call,” you fibbed. “Something urgent, couldn’t wait until I clocked in, I guess.”
“That’s inconsiderate.”
You chuckled, then looked to the aide. “Coffee, Nayoung?”
“If you’re making some, please.”
“Was just about to start a pot.”
Sitting down at the full table with your food and coffee in front of you, your mother to your left, Nayoung across from you, and Jisung to your right, you couldn’t help but smile, an odd sense of peace settling in your chest that hadn’t been there in quite some time.
That night, after your mother went to sleep, you traipsed into the kitchen, opening up the freezer. Turning to Jisung with the carton of ice cream in your hand, you said, “I don’t suppose you could help me with this?”
“Unfortunately not,” he chuckled.
“Figured I would ask,” you sighed, grabbing a spoon. “Come on, I’m thinking a movie?”
Curled up in the corner of the couch under a blanket, you had just opened the ice cream when you realized you left the remote on the coffee table out of your reach. Jisung was still standing, seeming unsure of where to sit.
“Can you pass me the remote?” You requested, stretching an arm out towards it but ultimately not reaching it.
“Oh, sure, sure.” He picked it up with ease just like you would, handing it off to you.
“Thanks.” You turned the TV on. He was still standing, so you gestured to the rest of the empty couch. “Sit, Jisung.”
“Right,” he mumbled, taking a seat next to you.
“You haven’t seriously been standing there like that this whole time, have you?”
“I… sit sometimes, yeah.”
“Good.” You patted his arm—or you tried to pat his arm, but instead your hand hit the back of the couch, a cold shiver running up your arm starting at your fingertips. You jerked your hand back in alarm, eyes going wide. “Shit! Sorry! Did I just like, smack your lung or something?”
Jisung laughed hard, his nose scrunching up and his hand flying up to cover his mouth as he giggled. “I’ve never thought of it like that. I don’t—I don’t think so, no.”
“It didn’t like, hurt, did it?”
“No. Feels a little weird, like… Ah, I don’t know how to describe it if you’re still corporeal. But it doesn’t hurt.”
“Okay good,” you breathed out. Looking down at the remote in your hand, you frowned thoughtfully. “How come you could grab this just fine, but I just go through you?”
“It used to happen with objects, too,” he informed you, reaching his hand out towards the coffee table. The ghost moved it down, his hand effortlessly gliding through the table just like yours had gone through him a few moments earlier. “I can control it now. But for some reason, people, I still can’t.”
“That sounds… lonely.”
Jisung shrugged, offering you a sort of sad smile. “Hey, I just spent a few decades not being seen or heard by anybody either. I’ll take what I can get.”
“Alright, what are we feeling?” You hummed as you pulled up the streaming service. “Ghost movie?”
He gave you a skeptical look. “You hate horror movies. You made Hyukjun turn all the lights in the house on when he put ‘Saw’ on.”
“Aw come on, no laugh? Not even a chuckle? Ironic scoff?” You wrinkled your nose at him.
“I’m laughing on the inside.”
“I was very brave for watching it all, though, wouldn’t you agree?” You grinned, grabbing a big spoonful of ice cream.
Jisung’s amused smile was apparent that time. “Very. If I had gold stars to give out, you’d get one.”
“Okay, what about ‘The Batman’? The one with Robert Pattinson, I literally don’t care about the other ones.”
“I’m not sure who that is, but sure.”
“Jisung, I’m about to change your afterlife. Possibly for the worse.”
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From when you woke up to when you went to sleep, if you were at home, Jisung was usually around. You found that you didn’t mind his presence, if anything it was comforting, he made the house feel less empty than it would be with just you and your mother—and occasionally Nayoung. You had to catch yourself from talking to him when your mom or Nayoung were within earshot, or looking too obviously at where he was standing or sitting when they were in the room. Your evenings that you used to spend with Hyukjun were now spent with the ghost, watching shows or movies, showing him your favorite music, or just talking.
This morning, as your mom bathed herself and Nayoung waited for her in her bedroom, just in case, you had some extra time. Which you were glad for, as you knew you were moving slow, feeling more like a zombie than a functioning human being as you prepared breakfast. You yawned, covering your mouth with the back of your hand before gripping the tomato again and continuing your cuts.
“So what—”
“Y/N!” Jisung’s cry of warning came before you registered your tomato juice-slickened fingers slipping down the food and under the blade.
You looked down to see crimson red welling up and joining the tomato’s seeds at the same time you felt coldness on your hands. Jisung had tried to grab you, both too late, and in an ill-fated attempt even if he hadn’t been, as his hands went right through yours. You belatedly hissed as your sleep-slogged mind finally registered the pain, made extra by the sting of tomato juice in the cuts. Jisung swore under his breath as he grabbed a kitchen towel instead, wrapping it around your fingers and pressing hard as his other hand knocked the knife out of your uninjured fingers that were still lamely holding it. He reached over to turn the sink on, and pulled you over there by the grip he had on the towel. He couldn’t move your hand under the water once he took the towel off, though, staring at you pointedly.
“Right,” you mumbled, putting your fingers under the stream of the faucet to rinse the cuts clean of tomato guts. “Thanks, Jisung.”
“What—” He was cut off by the doorbell ringing.
You hurriedly ripped off a wad of paper towels to press to your cut, calling out to Nayoung, “I’ll get it!”
You knew Jisung was following you, not bothering to keep his sighs quiet as you peered through the peephole first—habit. A pit formed in your stomach when you recognized the man standing on your doorstep immediately.
Forcing your features into a pleasantly neutral expression, you opened the door just enough to greet your eldest stepbrother. “Good morning, Seohyuk.”
He fixed you with the same wide, dazzling grin that he always had, one that made you think he should be doing real estate instead of whatever his real job was—investment broker or something. He was in a suit, looking like he had stopped by on his way to work. You bit back the urge to look down at your own lounge clothes and hair still damp from your shower.
“Y/N! Good morning!” He was still beaming. “Looking beautiful as always.”
“Can I help you?” You asked politely, stepping onto the porch and forcing him to back up a step off the welcome mat, keeping one hand on the door handle.
He then seemed to have noticed your hand. “Are you alright? Did you hurt yourself?”
“Nicked myself with a knife in the kitchen just now. I’m fine,” you shrugged off his concerns. “Why are you here?”
“Oh my god! We should go in and get that washed out!” His hands fluttered over you with feigned worry, trying to usher you back into the house, put you stayed put, firmly shutting the front door behind you.
“I already washed it out,” you informed him flatly. “What do you want?”
The expressiveness immediately dropped off his face, and a cool, suave smirk overtook it as he sized you up. “Alright. Big girl can handle herself.”
“We’re both adults, Seohyuk, I’d appreciate it if you can act like one and get to your point.”
“Funny, my dad never seemed to think you were one,” he sneered. “You were the little princess he never got to have.”
“If this is all you came for, I’m going back inside,” you sighed, reaching for the handle again.
“I came to inspect the property.” He finally gave you his reason, holding his chin up. “As is my right, to make sure you’re not letting it go to ruins. So you have to let me in.”
Right, as if the house could’ve fallen to the wayside and become dilapidated in a week. You turned back to him, meeting his gaze head-on. It was easier like this, just one of them. Especially Seohyuk, he didn’t have a temper like his younger brothers, nor did his words cut as deep as his mom’s, he was just… a jerk. You could deal with a jerk.
“And, as I’m sure you saw when you continued reading the papers, you have to give me at least twenty-four hours’ notice before conducting any inspection of the property. So, I will see you in twenty-four hours.” You grabbed the door handle again. “Goodbye, Seohyuk.”
You didn’t wait for his response, rushing inside and slamming the door shut behind you. You locked it up as quick as you could, not wanting to take any chances.
“You’re not seriously going to let him come in here?!” Jisung blurted out, wide eyes focused on you. Of course he heard everything again.
As you opened your mouth to answer, Nayoung stepped out your mom’s room hesitantly, worried eyes focused on you. You turned to her instead, offering her a reassuring smile.
“Is there anything I can do, Y/N?” She asked quietly. You didn’t want to know how much she had heard.
“I’ll try to arrange it so the inspection is during your time. If she’s up for it tomorrow, could you take my mom on a walk? I need to be here, and she really shouldn’t be.”
The aide nodded quickly. “Of course, yes.”
Back in the kitchen, Jisung pulled the first aid kit down, and you applied your own bandages to the cuts on your fingers. You could feel his eyes boring holes into your hair as you bowed your head to pay extra close attention to your injuries.
“Y/N—”
“What did you want me to do, Jisung?” You hissed, not meaning for it to come out as venomous as it did. “They’re entitled to inspect the premises, it’s technically also kind of their house. I would’ve been in bigger shit if I told him no!”
The ghost was quiet, and when you finally looked up, you saw the hurt on his own face. You sighed, throwing away the bloody paper towels and bandage wrappers. Rolling out your shoulders and your neck to relieve the tension that had built up there, you loosely wrapped your arms around yourself.
“I’m sorry,” you said quietly. “I’m not mad at you, none of this is your fault. I’m just… stressed, and I slept like shit last night. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”
“It’s okay, Y/N,” he reassured you. “I just… hate the idea of you and that guy being in this house by yourselves, you know? I don’t trust him.”
“Oh, we won’t be alone.”
“I know I’ll be here, but that’s not the same as having someone who could actually do something.”
“I know you’ll be here, and that’s reassuring,” you replied, an amused smile playing at your lips. “But that’s not entirely what I meant.”
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“Mr. Shin, thank you for coming on such short notice,” you greeted the attorney with a polite bow, welcoming him into the house.
Mr. Shin was an older man, around Hyukjun’s age, with salt and pepper hair, who hastily returned the bow. He wore a simple black suit, white dress shirt, and black tie, thick-framed glasses perched on his nose, and he held his black briefcase tightly to his side. He was exactly as you pictured him from speaking to him on the phone yesterday—when you picked up Hyukjun’s papers, you’d only dealt with his secretary.
“Of course, Ms. Y/L/N, it’s my duty,” he replied briskly. “Your stepbrother has not arrived yet, has he?”
“No, I’m expecting Seohyuk in a few minutes.”
“Good, good.”
“Would you like some coffee? Or tea?”
“No, thank you, I couldn’t intrude.” He shook his head fervently. “Your mother isn’t home, is she?”
“She stepped out for a walk just before you arrived. She doesn’t need to be here, does she?”
“No, no, not at all.” He seemed relieved at this news, if anything.
The doorbell rang then, and you smiled at the lawyer. “That should be him.”
Looking out the peephole first, it was in fact Seohyuk. You opened the door wider than yesterday, offering him a polite smile. “Good morning, Seohyuk.”
“Alright, Y/N, it’s been twenty-four hours, let me in.” He skipped pleasantries entirely, a glare already on his features.
“Of course.” You obliged gracefully, opening the door all the way for him.
He obviously hadn’t seen anybody else, as he faltered upon stepping inside and spotting Mr. Shin in the entryway. It was as if a magic spell had been cast on him, Seohyuk straightened up, adjusting his own tie and throwing on his charming smile, offering a hand out to him. “Kim Seohyuk, nice to meet you.”
Mr. Shin once again bowed formally, ignoring the hand in front of him. “Attorney Shin. I’m the lawyer in charge of your father’s estate, and I’ll be overseeing this inspection.”
“Great. Yeah, I’m glad Y/N remembered to call you like we talked about,” Seohyuk lied through his teeth, keeping his voice casual. “She’s been a little all over the place with taking care of her mom by herself since Dad passed, so I offered to, but she insisted she would do it since she only works part-time now.”
You clenched your jaw to not call him a piss-poor liar to his face. Or punch him in the face. His ‘she’s a mess, but we love her’ tone really irked you. Jisung had been lurking in the corner the whole time with his arms crossed over his chest and chose now to mimic choking Seohyuk—it took everything in you not to burst out laughing, but it successfully dissolved the anger that had been bubbling in your veins.
Mr. Shin either didn’t believe him or didn’t care, as he simply nodded and then looked to the both of you. “If there are no questions, we will begin in the kitchen.”
The inspection was uneventful—you passed with flying colors, of course—and at the end, you got to see both Mr. Shin and Seohyuk out at the front door simultaneously.
“I will be making note of this in the estate’s file, of course,” Mr. Shin said in closing. “So as to not intrude on Ms. Y/L/N and her mother too much, inspections are limited to once per year, as you know.”
“What?!” Seohyuk’s jaw dropped. “Th-That’s per person, right? Like, if my brothers wanted an inspection—”
“I’m afraid not, Mr. Kim. One inspection of the property per year. Unless good cause is shown.”
“Good cause? Like what?”
“If there is some damage externally that would lead you to believe Ms. Y/L/N has caused similar damage internally, or if she posted pictures to her social media of the inside that showed some damage. Something like that.”
You had to cover your mouth to keep from laughing in Seohyuk’s face as his jaw gaped open like a dead fish. After composing yourself, you gave the both of them a cheerful wave. “So I guess I’ll see you two next year.”
“And hopefully not any sooner!” Mr. Shin confirmed, bowing deeply once more.
You closed the door with a satisfying click. Turning back around to Jisung, you finally burst into laughter with him. He pumped his fist victoriously. “Gone until next year!”
Holding your hand up, you cheered, “Whoo! Come on, ghost five!”
Jisung whooshed his hand through yours, and the chill zipping up your arm only served to make you more excited. Finally, a win in all this.
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3:16 a.m.
You glared at your bedside clock like it was doing this to you personally. Rolling onto your other side, you let out a disgruntled sigh. No matter how comfortable you were, how exhausted your bones and your brain were, you couldn’t fucking sleep. Sitting up, you threw your covers off of you and padded out of your room.
In the kitchen, you drank a glass of water, but couldn’t bring yourself to go back upstairs to your room. You wandered into the living room, plopping into your usual corner of the couch and pulling your knees to your chest. Turning your phone on, you once again glared at the time like it was invented to hurt you in particular.
3:20 a.m.
You could be doing something better right now, reading a book, laying very still with your eyes closed, meditating, anything but scrolling on your phone.
3:49 a.m.
Had you ever gotten a good night’s sleep in your life? You couldn’t remember in that moment. Your eyes stung looking at the screen, they stung when you closed them, but you blinked it away.
4:17 a.m.
“Y/N?” Jisung stepped into the living room. “Why are you still up?”
“Mm, Jisung, hey,” you greeted him dully, setting your phone aside on the arm of the couch. “I’m surprised it took you this long to find me.”
“I figured you were just getting a glass of water or something. I didn’t want to bother you. But you’ve been out here for almost an hour now.”
You sighed, resting your chin on your knees. “Can’t sleep.”
“Is something wrong?”
“I slept for a couple hours, but then I woke up and I just... couldn’t go back to sleep,” you sighed.
“Staring at that screen isn’t going to help you get back to sleep.” He frowned.
That made you chuckle. “And how do you know that?”
“Your mom used to get on your stepdad about using screens too close to bedtime,” he confessed. “Something about the light keeping your brain awake.”
You smiled as you could imagine that perfectly. “Yeah, that sounds like her.”
“Can I do anything to help? Do you want like, hot chocolate? Or…” He trailed off as he was clearly wracking his brain for another option.
“You want to keep me off my phone?”
He nodded.
You stood up, your fingers tapping over the spines on the bookcases before you grabbed one. You offered it out to Jisung. “Read to me.”
Jisung gently took the book from you, then nodded to the couch. “Sure. Lay down.”
“I’m not sleeping on the couch,” you snorted, taking your phone back off the arm and heading for the stairs. Tilting your head indicatively, you said, “Come on, you get to go to the second floor.”
His footsteps were quiet behind you, squeaking some of the same steps that you did as he followed you up the stairs. You opened the door to your bedroom, stepping in first and holding it open to gesture him in as he had stopped uncertainly by the threshold. Closing the door behind him, you then sat down on your bed again.
“Here.” You patted the empty side of the bed for him.
Jisung shuffled over, sitting up against the headboard with his long legs stretched out on top of your sheets. With amusement, you noted that he was no longer wearing his dark shoes, only black socks. You laid back down under your covers again, pulling your blankets up to your chin.
He clicked the lamp on his side of the bed on, and seemed to have read the title for the first time then. “Poems?”
“My mom used to read to me every night, way past the normal age that you stop doing that stuff I’m pretty sure. And whenever I got nightmares, or couldn’t sleep, I’d climb into her bed. It didn’t matter if I woke her up at two in the morning, she’d grab one of the five or ten books that were always on her nightstand and start reading to me until I fell asleep,” you explained, readjusting your pillow under your head. “That was one of my favorites. I figured it was worth a shot.”
Jisung opened the book to the first poem and began reading. His voice was soft and steady, deep and soothing. Despite your want to keep watching him and the focused look on his face as he read, his dark eyes following the words on the page, your own eventually fluttered shut against your will.
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When you woke up, Jisung was no longer in your room. The book was resting on the nightstand on that side of the bed, and the lamp was off. Upon entering the kitchen, you saw Jisung standing at the humming microwave. He perked up when you walked in, despite the confused look on your face.
“Good morning!” He said brightly, then gestured to the microwave. “I’m making you hot chocolate. I heard the shower.”
“And if my mother had walked in and saw the hot chocolate making itself?” You asked dryly, still rubbing sleep out of your eyes. Your shower didn’t do much to wake you up this morning.
Jisung visually deflated, looking around guiltily. “Oh. Right…”
“It’s sweet, Jisung, thank you,” you added with a smile, watching his shoulders relax. “You’re very sweet. I just don’t want to give my mom a heart attack.”
“Of course.” He was smiling again too. “Sorry.”
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Sitting halfway down the stairs with Jisung, you stared blankly at the front door. Dinner had been difficult for your mom tonight, and with no Nayoung at that meal, you had to do it all on your own. She was asleep now, and you held your head in your hands. Jisung was quietly sitting beside you, resting his elbows on his knees as his laced and unlaced his fingers in front of him. This was probably one of the best parts about having Jisung around. Despite being practically omnipresent at this point, if you didn’t want to talk, he didn’t talk. If you wanted to chat, he would talk to you about anything, but if you wanted utter silence, he would let you sit in utter silence—he just wouldn’t let you do it alone.
You felt nearly suffocated by the house in that moment, but you couldn’t leave your mom alone.
“Can you go outside?” You lifted your head to ask Jisung.
“Not very far,” he answered as if you were asking any other piece of trivia about him and his predicament.
“The porch swing?”
“Yes, I can go there.”
“Do you want to? Now? With me?”
He chuckled softly. “When have I ever told you no?”
It was a warm night, which you were glad for as you were only in your sleep shorts and a t-shirt as you sat on the wooden porch swing with Jisung. Holding the chain next to your head with one hand, you peered out at the nighttime around you, glad to be out of those walls finally.
“Pretty moon,” you commented, looking up at the silver half-moon above you.
“Mhm,” Jisung hummed his agreement.
“And stars,” you added, taking in the twinkling dots all around the moon.
“Mhm.”
“Pretty stars,” you clarified.
“Mhm.”
Looking at Jisung out of the corner of your eye, you kept the same tone of voice as you said, “Pretty garbage can.”
“Mhm.”
“Jisung?”
“Mhm?”
“You’re not listening to me.”
“Huh?”
“What are you thinking about?”
“Uhm… nothing.” He coughed. “Pretty moon.”
“Mhm.” You hummed back in the same sing-songy tone that he had. “I wish I could touch you.”
“Huh?” He spluttered out.
“Just feels like a nice moment to rest my head in your lap, don’t you think?” You looked over at him, meeting his dark eyes.
He looked down at his legs, then around him in what you would almost call an attempt to avoid your gaze. “Well… we could put one of the pillows on the swing where my lap is, and you can rest your head there and pretend it’s me.”
“That won’t be uncomfortable for you?”
“No, I’ll be fine,” he promised. “Just make sure it’s not too far over here, I don’t want to make you cold.”
After you settled onto your back with your head on a pillow, right on the edge of where Jisung’s thigh started, you could see Jisung and the porch roof directly above you. The corner of his mouth twitched as he looked down at you, and you smiled back up at him.
“Can you push the porch swing?” You requested.
“Sure,” he agreed, and you felt the swing gently push off backwards then sail forward.
You rolled your head to the side to be able to look at the moon again.
“Can I ask…” You poked your tongue on the inside of your cheek. “How did you die? If you want to tell me, you don’t have to.”
Jisung sighed. “I don’t know. I went to sleep one night and when I woke up, I wasn’t in my body anymore.”
You felt your eyes widen involuntarily. “Seriously? You weren’t sick or anything?”
“I felt fine,” he confirmed. “I didn’t even realize until I couldn’t grab the handle to open my bedroom door and leave. My hand just went through it. When I turned back around to my bed, I saw myself lying there. I thought I was still dreaming.”
“God... I’m sorry, Jisung.”
He shrugged, his fingers messing with the edges of the pillow that your head was on. “It could’ve been worse. It didn’t hurt, I wasn’t dreading the end or anything.”
You reached for his face, despite knowing that it wouldn’t work, holding your hand up as if you were cupping his cheek, hovering right on the edge of where your skin passed through each other. “Does that... I always feel cold when I try to touch you. Is this warm? To you?”
“I never notice that I’m cold until I touch you.” He hesitantly put his hand over yours. “Like when you’ve been outside during winter for so long that you don’t even feel temperature anymore. And then you step inside again and you can suddenly feel just how cold you are because everything else is so warm.”
“Is it… I don’t know, nice?”
“It’s… a lot,” he admitted. “It’s not bad, but I can never warm up.”
“Oh.” You took your hand back, resting it on your stomach.
“It’s late,” he said quietly. “Are you tired?”
“No, but I should probably head to bed.” You sat up reluctantly.
Only a few minutes after saying your goodnights, you were at the bottom of the stairs again, searching for Jisung. You found him in the living room.
“Can you read to me?” You asked, fidgeting with the sleeves of your shirt.
He chose a book off the shelves and followed you upstairs wordlessly. Back under your covers again, you listened to the sound of his fingers running over the edges of the pages, folding back the cover of the book before he started reading. It wasn’t the same book of poems as last time, instead you fondly recognized it as one of your favorite books from when you started reading novels as a kid, about a young girl who went on a grand fantasy adventure with all sorts of magical creatures. In the back of your mind, you thought to yourself that you were a little disappointed that you’d be asleep before the end, when she finally came home to her mother in the real world. That had always been your favorite part.
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“Do cameras work on you?” You asked Jisung as you kneeled by one of the flowerbeds at the front of the house. It was early in the morning, and you made sure to keep one headphone in your ear so that any passerby who did happen by on morning walks or jogs would hopefully just think that you were on a phone call.
“Don’t know,” he shrugged, sitting on the porch swing. “I think I would’ve found out if I was in the background of any Kim family photos over the years.”
Curious, you took out your phone, opening up the camera and pointing it at him. The sun hadn’t fully risen yet, but in the low light you could see the porch swing just fine, seemingly rocking along on its own on your screen. Taking just one picture, you paused your weeding to look at it from your camera roll. Again, you definitely couldn’t see Jisung sitting on the porch swing like you could with your own two eyes, but there was something going on in the picture this time. The air seemed to shimmer and distort in the vague shape of a person sitting in the photo, exactly where he was in real life. You zoomed in on the fuzzy edges that nearly turned into shadow, squinting as you tried to make out whether the distortion was in the image file itself or part of Jisung somehow.
“Well?” Jisung questioned, tilting his head.
“I got... something.” You stood up, walking over to show him. “It’s not what I see when I look at you. I see, like, a person.”
“Oh.” His face fell as he looked over the photo of the strange figure.
“I think it’s cool,” you tried to cheer him up. “Very mysterious, you know.”
He gave you a half-hearted smile. “Thanks, Y/N.”
“I get why you’re bummed, though. It’s probably been a while since you’ve seen yourself, right? I never see your shadow or your reflection. Can you?”
“No, I can’t.” He shook his head. “It’s… I have my dad’s nose, and my mom’s smile. I just thought that even if I couldn’t see them anymore, it’d be nice to see the parts of them that are in me.”
You blinked back the tears that were pricking at your eyes. “I know what you mean. My dad’s mom was alive when I was younger, and she always said I looked just like him. I used to sit on my bathroom counter in front of the mirror with an old picture of him from when he was a kid for hours to try to see it too.”
“Do you look like him?” He asked quietly.
“Don’t you see it? I look just like my mom,” you laughed and shook your head.
Jisung chuckled softly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah, I know. I wasn’t going to spoil your connection to your dad for you.”
“It makes me happy to know that my grandmother saw my dad when she looked at me anyway.” You permanently deleted the photo you’d taken of Jisung. “I’m sure you have something else from your parents that you don’t need a mirror for, though. Like, for me, when I laugh really, really hard, I start wheezing—it’s honestly an awful sound—and clutch my sides and stomp my left foot. My dad would laugh with his whole body like that too. I didn’t even know until my mom pointed it out a few years ago out of the blue. I sneeze like Hyukjun now, too. Don’t even know how I picked that up in such a short time. I was dusting the other day and when I sneezed, I realized it sounded just like him.”
“Really?” He laughed, a real one this time.
“Yeah,” you smiled fondly at the memory. “I’m sure you’ve got lots of pieces of your family in you other than your nose and your eyes, Jisung.”
The ghost held your gaze, his dark eyes that you tried to imagine belonging to some ambiguous father of his that you could never recall, smiling up at you with a smile that matched a memory of his mother you didn’t have. Even if you would never know them, you remembered them in that moment for him.
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You chewed on your bottom lip as you leafed through the large tome of local genealogies in front of you. At first you were worried that Mr. Shin would have questions for you as to why you wanted information on the deed of the house, primarily who had owned it before your stepdad bought it. But instead, he simply had his paralegal fetch the information from the previous title search they’d done when drafting the documents for Hyukjun. You took the list of names with you to the local library, where they kept an archive of all sorts of birth, death, and marriage records, including genealogies of local families.
Kim Hyukjun had purchased the home from a husband and wife, the Parks, decades before you were even born. The Parks were the first owners, and despite neither of their names being Jisung, you figured he must be related to them in some way to have lived there before Hyukjun bought it; their son, a nephew, grandson, something.
You finally found a married couple whose names matched, and eagerly read on for their children. They had one child, a son, Park Jisung—deceased.
“Found you,” you whispered to yourself, tapping the name in the book. Taking a picture of all the relevant information, you shut the book and returned it to its place before taking down another one, death certificates.
Finally landing on Jisung’s, you read with bated breath and a morbid curiosity. It started with all the normal stuff—name, age, date of birth, address—and you skimmed on, trying to find the thing that you really wanted to know. But as you got to the end, and desperately re-read again from the beginning, more carefully this time, you realized there was no cause of death listed. They must not have requested an autopsy. As your chest deflated, you shook your head at yourself. What would knowing even change now? You took a quick note of the cemetery listed before shutting the book.
The information—or lack thereof—that you’d gotten from the library was still on your mind when you returned to the house. Nayoung was sitting at the kitchen table, and looked up from her phone when you came in.
“Ah, Y/N, how were your errands?” She asked, clearly noticing your empty hands.
“Fine,” you gave a non-committal answer. “Where’s my mom?”
“She’s taking a nap in her room. She’s been asleep for about fifteen minutes or so.”
“Good.” You glanced at the time on the stove. “You can head out for the day. Thank you, Nayoung.”
“I’ll see you all tomorrow, then.” She stood up and flashed you one more bright smile before showing herself out.
A few moments later, you heard the sound of the front door locking after her, then Jisung entered the room from that direction. He stopped next to you.
“So where’d you go today?” He asked curiously. “You didn’t pick anything up…”
You sighed, taking a seat at the kitchen table. “Library. They didn’t have what I needed.”
“What book were you looking for?”
You grimaced at yourself, picking at your nails uncomfortably as you braced yourself to tell the truth. “I wasn’t checking out a book. I was… I was looking up stuff in the archives, about you.”
Jisung’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Me?”
“I’m sorry, I was nosy and shouldn’t have done that without talking to you first,” you apologized. “I’m sorry.”
“Y/N, you’ve got a ghost living in your house,” he reminded you frankly. “Normal personal boundaries aren’t really applicable here.”
“I… guess that’s one way to look at it.”
“And I mean, all you did was look in the archives, right?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s fine.” Jisung sat in his chair next to yours, leaning forward towards you eagerly. “What did you find out?”
You chewed your lip nervously. “Not much. I know your full name is Park Jisung. Your parents didn’t have an autopsy done, so we still don’t know why you… passed. I know where they buried… you, though.”
He kept looking at you expectantly, waiting for you to say more. But that was all you had. When he realized that you were done, his face fell, and he let out a breath, sitting back in his chair.
“Oh.” He nodded slowly.
“I’m sorry, Jisung.” You instinctively reached for his hand that was resting on the table. You did a double-take when your hand didn’t impact with the wooden tabletop under him, though, but with him.
Jisung’s hand was cool to the touch, but solid, yours didn’t just slip right through it like usual. You stared down at your hands as you readjusted your grip in disbelief.
Your ghost was similarly bewildered, eyes locked on your hands as he squeezed yours back. “Are you…”
“Yeah, I can actually touch you!” You laughed in amazement.
He looked up from your hand to your eyes, lifting his other hand towards your face. “Can I…?”
You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak, or even breathe, in that moment.
Jisung’s fingertips gently caressed your cheek, his eyes filled with wonder as he murmured, “You’re so warm…”
“Are you… you know, cold? Is it like before?”
“No, it’s-it’s nice,” he said, clasping your hand with both of his now. “Thank you. For letting me…”
“Oh, sure, yeah,” you cleared your throat awkwardly, looking around the kitchen.
“It’s funny, it’s one of those things you take for granted until you can’t do it anymore.”
“What?”
“Touch people.” He squeezed your hand softly. “I used to complain when my mom would kiss me, or my friends would give me hugs. Now… I can’t believe I’m holding someone’s hand again.”
You patted his arm, at a loss for words, but hoping that you could give him some kind of comfort in the moment. It sounded like a heartbreakingly lonely existence. You couldn’t imagine what you would do if you could never hug your mom again, or even bump into strangers on the train—small things that reminded you that you were real, that you took up space.
You felt your heart truly shatter when Jisung leaned over, pressing his forehead to your linked hands, and you saw his shoulders shake with quiet sobs.
“Oh, Jisung,” you whispered, scooting your chair closer to gently stroke his dark hair. “It’s okay…”
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Tonight had been rough. This was the third night in a row that you had gone in circles trying to calm your mother down from a frightened state, afraid that every creak of the house settling, gust of the air conditioning rustling a curtain, or wind blowing a tree branch outside was a ghost. Despite being aware that your house was actually inhabited by a ghost, you knew it wasn’t Jisung doing any of those things.
You had finally gotten her back to sleep at almost one in the morning, and shut her bedroom door behind you with a sigh. Shuffling into the kitchen, you stopped in the middle of the room, rubbing a hand over your face as you just stared blankly at the countertop. You couldn’t even remember what you had come in here for.
“Hey,” Jisung called for your attention softly, his quiet footsteps approaching from behind you. “Did you want water? Hot chocolate?”
“Ugh, I don’t even know,” you groaned, turning around and burying your face in his shoulder. “I’m so fucking tired, Jisung.”
“Then let’s get you to bed,” he suggested, trying to usher you out of the kitchen, but you didn’t budge.
Looking up at him, you sniffled, “This is the third night this has happened… I don’t know if I can… What if I can’t—What if—What am I—What if I can’t do it by myself? What if I can’t take care of her like she needs on my own? She’s only going to get worse and I’m… Oh God, I’m tired.”
Tears streamed down your cheeks now as you felt an exhaustion from deep within. You felt it in every fiber of your being, in your bones, deep in your chest. You couldn’t remember a time when you didn’t feel worn out like this.
Jisung’s eyes widened as his hands frantically fluttered over your arms and shoulders, clearly unsure of where to settle as he went to try to comfort you. “Ah, Y/N, oh, no. Oh, God, I’m so sorry that you feel so tired. You’re doing so good.” He squeezed your shoulders. “You’re not alone. I know it can feel like that, but you’ve got Nayoung, too. Your stepdad left a fund to pay for your mom’s care, right? You can use that to have Nayoung here more if you need her to, can’t you? I’ve heard her ask if you want to adjust her schedule…”
“Yeah, she has,” you nodded, the admission only making you cry harder. “I just—I don’t want to think about needing more help, about needing Nayoung more, because that really means that she’s getting worse. But I can’t—She needs more than me.”
“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” Jisung said, his own eyes shining in the dim light. “I wish I could make everything better for you.”
You gave him a shaky smile, the best you could muster in the moment, patting one of his hands that were still holding you by the shoulders. “I know. Thank you, just having you here to listen to me means a lot.”
He wiped at your tears with his thumbs, his hands shaking slightly as he gently cradled your face. “Let me help you however I can—you know, without freaking your mom out. You can take care of your mom and I’ll take care of you. Please.”
It was all you could do to nod your head in his hands. He let out a breath of relief.
“Come on, let’s get you back to bed.” He wrapped an arm around your shoulders, guiding you out of the kitchen successfully this time.
At the top of the stairs, you stopped and grabbed his hand, pleading, “Don’t leave me, Jisung.”
He chuckled lightly, lacing his fingers with yours. “Where could I even go? I’m stuck here.”
“I mean, you always leave after I fall asleep,” you explained. “Don’t go this time.”
He nodded, using the index finger of the hand that was holding yours to trace an X over his heart, pulling your hand along with it. “I won’t leave you.”
You fell asleep curled up under your covers, Jisung reading a book of short stories to you, one of his hands resting on your head, fingers gently carding through your hair—a silent reminder of his promise that he would still be there in the morning.
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When you woke up, you felt terrible. Not only because of how poorly you had slept lately, but all of your joints and muscles ached, your sinuses felt like they were stuffed up with concrete, your throat was scratchy and sore, and it felt like someone had turned the thermostat up to a million degrees. You winced as you rolled over and threw the covers off of you, already feeling that your sheets and clothes were damp with sweat. Groaning and clutching your head, you involuntarily coughed, having to prop yourself up on your elbow to avoid choking on your own mucus. Gross.
“You’re sick,” Jisung said from the other side of the bed, his voice sympathetic. You’d forgotten that he was even there, actually.
Sitting up, you tried to look as normal as possible, shaking your head. “No, just had something in my throat.”
You winced at the sound of your own voice; it sounded almost as bad as you felt.
“Y/N, you sound awful,” he pointed out. “And you were tossing and turning all night.”
“I’m fine—”
“Y/N.” He was giving you what could only be called a stern pout. “We just talked about this last night.”
You opened your mouth to argue again, but faltered at the intensity of his gaze. Letting the tension fall from your shoulders, you grabbed your phone off your nightstand. “I’ll see if Nayoung or another aide can stay all day.”
Jisung finally smiled at that, standing up and moving to leave the room. “I’ll make you breakfast before your mom wakes up.”
You watched him walk to your door, and instead of grabbing the handle to open it, walked right through it. That must be why you were never woken by the sound of the door when he would leave in the middle of the night before.
Once Nayoung arrived, you hauled yourself out of bed and to the doctor’s office. As soon as you got back, you trudged right back upstairs. From the living room, you could hear the sounds of your mother and the aide chatting. In your room, you shrugged off your jacket and had just grabbed the hem of your shirt when Jisung appeared through the door.
“So what did—”
“Ah!” You yelped, yanking your shirt back down and whirling around to stare at him incredulously.
“Sorry! Sorry!” Jisung sputtered out, covering his eyes.
“Knock! I know you can!” You yelled, gesturing at the door with exasperation. “What is wrong with you?!”
“I didn’t think—I’m sorry!” He fully backed up and out of your room through a solid wall, still covering his eyes.
A few moments later, you heard soft footsteps accompanied by creaks on the stairs. Nayoung’s voice came next, “Y/N? Are you okay?”
“Oh, yeah, Nayoung, I’m fine,” you called back. “Just stubbed my toe getting dressed.”
“Alright…” She didn’t sound like she believed you, but apparently wasn’t going to press the issue. “I have another visit to make today, so another aide from the service will be here in the afternoon to take over from me. Her name is Hyesoo.”
“Okay, thanks for letting me know.”
“I’ll say goodbye when I leave.”
“Thanks.”
You heard her retreat down the stairs, and finished getting changed in peace. Sitting down on your bed, you then heard a soft knock at your bedroom door.
“Come in,” you replied, crossing your arms over your chest.
Jisung stepped through the door, averting his eyes to his feet guiltily. “Sorry...”
“Forget about it, Jisung,” you sighed, flopping all the way under your covers. “I’m too sick to be mad at you.”
“What did the doctor say?” He asked, perching on the edge of your bed.
“It’s just a cold, but he said that all the stress I’m under isn’t helping,” you huffed, fluffing up your pillow under your head. “He gave me some meds, they’re in my bag.”
Jisung picked up your tote bag from where you’d dropped it by your nightstand, handing it to you. “I’ll get you some water to take them with.”
After he’d left the room, you set two of the bottles on your nightstand, and tucked the third in the drawer. Your ghost came back soon with a glass of water, and you eyed him suspiciously as he gave it to you.
“Nobody saw the floating glass of water?” You questioned, sitting up to be able to properly take a sip.
“Your mom and Nayoung were in the backyard,” he confirmed, watching you knock back the pills. “Are you hungry?”
You shook your head, shuffling back under the covers. “Sleepy. That doctor’s visit took a lot out of me.”
“Take a nap.”
“Will you wake me up before Nayoung goes?”
“Sure. But sleep right now.”
You were faintly aware of Jisung’s cool hand resting on your head as you let yourself get swept away by sleep.
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Blinking your eyes open, you were greeted by the inky blackness of your ghost’s eyes first. Jisung was laying on top of the covers on the other half of your bed, cheek resting on his hand as he gazed at you. You rubbed the sleep out of your eyes as you rolled onto your back, suddenly feeling much warmer under the intensity of his eyes.
“The other aide just arrived, Nayoung is getting ready to leave,” he informed you quietly.
“Mm,” you grunted in acknowledgment. “Thanks.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Still feel like shit,” you admitted. “The doctor did say the meds wouldn’t start working until the second or third dose.”
You heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and both you and Jisung went quiet. There was a soft knock at your door.
“Y/N?” Nayoung said your name quietly.
“Yes, Nayoung?” You replied.
“I’m heading out. Hyesoo and your mom are in the living room. There’s an extra serving of lunch, would you like me to bring it up for you?”
You were hungry now, and against your instincts, agreed, “If you don’t mind.”
“Of course not. I’ll warm it up for you, give me a few minutes.”
You stared up at the ceiling bitterly, trying to swallow down the uncomfortable, shameful bile rising up in your body. You don’t have to do everything yourself, you can accept people’s kindness, you can let people help you. This was exactly what you were getting upset with Hyukjun for doing, putting others before himself at the detriment of his own health. If you didn’t take care of yourself, your mom wouldn’t have any family left to take care of her—only Hyukjun’s fund to pay for more aides.
“Y/N, I’m setting it down outside your room,” Nayoung’s voice was back outside your door, startling you. You hadn’t even heard the stairs this time. “I made you some tea, too. I hope you feel better. See you tomorrow.”
You were out of your bed and opening the door before Jisung could. Nayoung was still on the top step, and looked over her shoulder, clearly a little startled. You looked down at the plate of food and steaming mug of tea, recognizing it as Hyukjun’s favorite coffee cup. Tears suddenly filled your eyes, but you didn’t move to hug her, knowing that she’d be visiting more elderly and possibly immunocompromised patients today. Instead, you stayed put in the doorway, giving her a small smile.
“Thank you, Nayoung.” You couldn’t string together any more words than that, but she seemed to get it anyway.
She beamed back at you, her young features holding a gentle understanding and wisdom. “You’re welcome. Rest well, Y/N.”
After getting ready for sleep that evening, you were sitting with your feet hanging over the side of the bed, taking your next doses of medications. You took the two on the nightstand, then pulled open the drawer to fish out the one that you had put away earlier. The nap you’d taken earlier had thrown off your sleeping pattern, you weren’t near tired enough despite the time.
“Y/N?” Jisung lightly touched your shoulder. “Everything okay?”
You were staring at the orange pill bottle in your hands, gnawing on your bottom lip. “What if I can’t see you?”
“What?”
“He gave me stuff to help me sleep.” You looked up from the bottle to your ghost. “But what if I take it and I can’t see you anymore?”
Jisung sat down next to you, shoulder-to-shoulder, and took the bottle from you. He turned it over in his hands as he spoke, “You could see me before you started having problems sleeping, right?”
You thought about this for a moment, then slowly nodded, relieved.
“And even if you took these and couldn’t see me anymore for some reason—I would rather you be well than see me,” he said, pushing the bottle back into your hand and wrapping your fingers around it. He held your eye contact sincerely. “Okay?”
You swallowed the lump in your throat and nodded. “Okay…”
Jisung watched silently as you opened the bottle, shook one out into your palm, closed the bottle back up, and knocked the tablet back with some water. He stood up to move to his usual spot against the headboard, grabbing the book that was sitting on the nightstand. You crawled under the covers, watching him open the book to where he left off.
“Jisung?”
“Yes?” He turned his gaze from the pages to you.
“Will you—” You sniffled, rubbing at one of your eyes as you yawned. “Will you just lay with me?”
“Oh. Sure.” He closed the book back up and set it aside, then laid down on top of the covers facing you. “Do you want the lamp off?”
“Mhm… please…”
He reached behind him to turn the light off, plunging the room into darkness. You could barely make out the outline of him from a strip of moonlight filtering in from a gap between the curtains. Your eyes were getting heavier, and you desperately fought to keep them open, just in case this was the last time you could see him.
“Goodnight, Y/N,” Jisung murmured. He crossed his finger over his heart. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Goodnight, Jisung,” you managed to mumble back as your eyes fluttered shut.
When you woke up, you were face-to-face with Jisung, his eyes shut this time, eyelashes resting delicately on his cheeks. You would’ve almost felt bad for what you were about to do, but you didn’t think that ghosts actually needed sleep, so you threw your arms around his neck, burying your face in his chest.
“Y/N?!” Jisung squeaked, freezing up under you. “What’s—”
“I can see you!” You cheered victoriously, your voice muffled by his shirt.
He let out a sigh of relief, one of his hands tentatively patting your back. “And a good morning to you, too.”
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It was a couple weeks later, and you were all better. Just in time for winter, too. You let out a huff as you heaved your groceries up the porch steps, your breath coming out as a puff in the cold air. Unlocking the front door, you grinned when it was immediately opened for you, Jisung on the other side. He closed it behind you, taking your hat off you and brushing stray snowflakes from your hair, his brow furrowed in concentration. You mouthed a ‘thank you’ to him, well aware of the sounds of your mother and her new evening aide, Hyesoo, in the kitchen already. He just smiled and murmured “You’re welcome” back.
“Oh, Y/N, back already, dear?” Hyesoo greeted you brightly as you walked into the kitchen. The two of them were playing cards at the kitchen table. Hyesoo was an older woman, closer to your mom and Hyukjun in age, but insisted on you calling her by her first name nevertheless.
“Yep, just had one stop to make today!” You informed them, putting your bags onto the kitchen counters. “I think the snow kept everyone away, too.”
“It was snowing?” Your mom questioned, the disapproval clear in her tone. “You didn’t walk all the way there, did you?”
“I wore all my layers, Mom, promise,” you chuckled, beginning to unpack the groceries. “And my snow boots!”
“I’ll put those away,” Hyesoo insisted, setting her cards down and standing up. “You go warm up, we’ve got a fire going in the living room.”
“Well, I do have some work to get done before dinner...” You said sheepishly. “Thanks, Hyesoo!”
You took the stairs two at a time up to your room to get your laptop, then ran back down to sit in front of the fire with it. Opening up your email first, you were unsurprised when a familiar figure sat down beside you, holding his hands out towards the flames. You hummed to yourself as you answered a couple emails, marking some under your to-do list to deal with later, getting the easier ones out of the way first.
“Ugh, not him again,” Jisung complained from next to you, having been reading them over your shoulder. “Decline!”
You elbowed him with an eyeroll, whispering under your breath, “He’s my boss, I can’t decline a meeting with him.”
“He’s not technically your boss.”
“Okay, supervisor. Still, I can’t decline a meeting with him.”
“They’re never about anything important.”
“Yeah, that’s every meeting ever.”
“He’s just doing it to talk to you. It’s an abuse of power.”
“We’re working on a project together and he’s actually in the office and I’m not. He gives me updates. It’s helpful.”
Jisung made a ‘hrrmph’ sound, pulling his knees to his chest as he opted to stare into the fire instead. You looked at him out of the corner of your eye, mild amusement on your features.
“What? Are you jealous or something?” You teased. “He’s like, married with three kids. Have I not mentioned that? He just doesn’t know how to use computers so he makes everything a video call meeting.”
“Oh.”
“Jealous, jealous...” You said in a sing-song voice. “I already spend almost 24/7 with you, what more could you want?”
You had meant it to be rhetorical, but you swore Jisung’s mouth opened, about to answer, when Hyesoo walked in.
“Hey, I’m going to start on dinner, unless you had something planned?” She pointed to the kitchen over her shoulder.
“No, no, go for it,” you waved her off. “I have to take a call anyway. If I’m late, start without me.”
“Weren’t you just on one?”
So you hadn’t been as quiet as you’d hoped.
“Yeah, different department,” you fibbed quickly, getting to your feet and bringing your laptop with you.
You could hear the soft footfalls of Jisung following you, and at the top of the stairs, you turned around to put a hand on his chest, satisfied that Hyesoo wouldn’t be able to see you here. Jisung pouted, looking down at the hand you had on his chest.
“Work call,” you whispered, gently pushing him back. “Wait downstairs. Please.”
He nodded, not looking very happy about it, but descended the stairs anyway. It’s not like there was anything that happened on your work calls that Jisung couldn’t hear, but you didn’t want to risk a floating object in the background, you looking over at Jisung, or otherwise reacting to him in any way during one of your work calls. It was just easier to concentrate without him there.
The call with your supervisor once again really could’ve been an email, but you didn’t mind catching up with him after you got through the two or three minutes of real work conversation that you had. He was a younger guy, and had been one of the people that you were friendlier with when you actually worked in the office full-time. He filled you in on how his three kids were doing, as well as his wife, who you would always chat with at office social events. He asked about how your mom was doing, and you did inform him that she needed aides in two shifts now, to which he reminded you that if you needed to adjust your schedule or workload, that could be discussed. You appreciated that, but if your workload was any lighter, you wouldn’t be employed, and you needed money. The fund from Hyukjun paid for your mother’s medical care, but you still needed to cover the rest of your living expenses like food, utility bills, incidentals, and yourself.
“And you know those staff dinners that get put on your calendar aren’t just to say we invited everyone,” your supervisor added. “You really are wanted there. We know it’s difficult with your mom, but everyone still talks about you.”
You smiled to yourself. “Thanks. Her evening aide is going to be staying the night a few days a week now, so I might be able to make it out one of these days.”
“No pressure, Y/N. Just wanted to let you know,” he leaned back in his own office chair, and seemed to take a glance at the time for the first time in a while. “Sorry, I’ve kept you for a while.”
“It’s fine, Mr. Choi,” you reassured him. “I always enjoy our chats. Give your family my best, will you?”
“Oh! I’m late for dinner!” He suddenly shot up straight in his chair. “Thanks, Y/N. I’ll talk to you soon!”
“Goodbye, Mr. Choi,” you chuckled, hanging up the call.
Closing your laptop, you went back downstairs to the kitchen to see your mom sat at the table, reading a book. Jisung was sitting in his chair across from her, and turned around expectantly at the sound of your feet. You poked your head into the kitchen to check on Hyesoo, who looked like she was still cooking.
“Hi, Mom,” you announced your presence to your mother, coming around the table to her seat.
She looked up at you with a smile, her eyes clearly focusing on you. You wrapped your arms around her shoulders from behind, resting your cheek on the top of her head. She held onto your arms with one of her hands, squeezing gently.
“What are you reading?” You asked, trying to glean any information from the pages that were opened in front of you.
“Oh, this was Hyukjun’s favorite book,” she explained, closing it on her finger to let you see the cover. “I was thinking about him today…”
“I think I read that in a Lit class I took in undergrad,” you commented. “I never knew it was his favorite.”
“Funny enough, it was your father’s favorite too.”
“Here I spent my whole life thinking ‘Goodnight, Moon’ was Dad’s favorite book,” you snickered, referencing the answer he had given you when you were a kid, one of the many children’s books you had at the time.
“Well, he didn’t really want to tell you about this sort of book when you were that little, I think.”
“Can you let me know when you’re done with that book?” You requested. “I think I’d like to reread it.”
“Of course.”
Hyesoo came into the dining area then with three plates, and you let your mom go to take your seat. Your mother set her book aside as dinner was set in front of her.
“Did you look at the mail today, Y/N?” Your mom asked.
“I skimmed it, threw out the junk,” you shrugged, taking a bite of your food. “Why? Did you?”
Your mom must’ve had a very good day today. She usually didn’t bother with things like the mail at all.
“Did you see that Seohyuk’s getting married?”
“Yeah, again,” you snorted. This was marriage number three, if you were up to date on your stepbrother lore. “I’m surprised we even got an invite.”
“Y/N.” Your mother said your name sternly.
“Sorry,” you mumbled. Clearing your throat, you kept your tone more neutral as you said, “Yeah, I saw. Good for them.”
“What do you think?”
“About what? I just said good for them?”
“Going.”
You looked at her incredulously. “Like, to the wedding?”
“He’s family, Y/N.”
“Hyukjun was family,” you didn’t mean to snap at your mom like you did, your voice filling with vitriol. “They’re just three assholes that Hyukjun had the misfortune of being related to. We don’t owe them shit.”
“Y/N!” Your mother gaped at you.
Hyesoo and Jisung had both been silently watching the two of you go back and forth, and you suddenly became aware of the presence of two others in the room again. You took a deep breath in, looking over at the aide.
“Sorry,” you muttered, pushing your chair back from the table. “Good food. I’m not hungry anymore.”
“Y/N, sweetie, can we—”
You ignored your mom’s pleas to talk, scraping off your plate into the garbage and putting your dishes in the dishwasher before storming upstairs. Flopping onto your back on your bed, you stared up at your ceiling fan.
When you heard a knock on your door some time later, you rolled your eyes, but called out to Jisung anyway, “Come in!”
Your door handle turned and opened, revealing not Jisung, and not even your mother, but Hyesoo. She paused at the doorway, obviously aware that you hadn’t been expecting her.
“May I come in?” She requested.
You sat up straight on your bed, nodding. “Sure.”
Hyesoo came and sat beside you, leaving a polite distance between the two of you. “I don’t want to overstep, Y/N… But I imagine there’s some stuff that has happened between you and your stepbrothers that your mom doesn’t know about?”
“Yeah, lots,” you scoffed. “They hate us. They’ve always been rude to me, but ever since Hyukjun left us the house… it’s just gotten worse.”
“When’s the last time you saw or talked to one of them?”
You breathed out. “Uh… probably when Seohyuk came to inspect the property a few months ago now. Mom didn’t even know it happened, Nayoung took her for a walk.”
“Hyukjun was family to you, right? That’s what you just said.”
“Doesn’t meant his shithead sons have to be my family,” you retorted. “They said to me, at his wake, that my mom and I weren’t his family. Like, how awful do you have to be?”
“Hyukjun saw you as his family. His wife’s daughter,” she said slowly. “Do you think, your mom might see Hyukjun’s sons the same way? I’m not saying you have to. But consider your mom’s feelings for a moment.”
You took a deep inhale, trying to separate your thoughts from your own swirling emotions in that moment. “I… I didn’t think of that.”
It was then that you saw she had something in her hands, and she held out two small pictures to you. One was the wedding invite, a picture of Seohyuk and his fiancée smiling on the front. The other was of a young man around Seohyuk’s age, the image grainy, as it was clearly older and taken on film. It was undeniable who this was, though—Hyukjun.
“Your mom was showing me some photo albums earlier, when she saw the wedding invite,” Hyesoo explained. “She didn’t say it, but don’t you think he looks so much like his dad?”
You swallowed the anger in your throat, eyes tracing over the two photos, the similar smiles, the way their crow’s feet crinkled, their noses, cheekbones, and jawlines. It was hard not to see Hyukjun in his eldest son now.
“Yeah, he does,” you agreed.
“Nobody is saying you have to go to the wedding and be best friends with your stepbrothers,” she said. “Or at least, I'm not saying that. But it might be a good idea to think about why your mom would want to go. Those ‘assholes’ are living, breathing pieces of Hyukjun that are still walking around. They’re his sons, and maybe she wants to feel connected to him by connecting with them.”
“He was such a good guy,” you reached for the picture of Hyukjun, holding it between your fingers. “How did he raise three absolute fucking jerks?”
“A mystery we’ll never be able to solve.” Hyesoo clicked her tongue. “I’m about to help your mom get ready for bed, do you want to talk to her before?”
You sighed and nodded. “Yeah, let me do that.”
She handed you the wedding invite as well, standing up from your bed. “She’s in her room. Let me know when you’re done.”
Steeling your nerves, you knocked lightly on your mom’s bedroom door. “Mom? It’s Y/N.”
“Come in, sweetie.”
You opened the door quietly, immediately spotting her sitting on the corner of her bed, as if she had been waiting for you. Sitting down next to her, you took her hand, squeezing it.
“I’m sorry, Mom,” you started. “I should’ve listened to you instead of being rude and talking to you like that. I was only thinking about my feelings about Seohyuk and them, and not yours. Can you tell me more about why you want to go to the wedding?”
“I-I know you and your stepbrothers haven’t gotten along, sweetie,” she prefaced her reasoning. “But… When I think about the fact that Hyukjun won’t get to see this… Even if he did see the first two, you know.”
The both of you snickered a little at that, bumping your shoulders together affectionately. You held the two pictures out to her just like Hyesoo had done to you.
“I get what you’re saying, Mom,” you leaned your head against hers, looking at the nearly identical visages of Seohyuk and Hyukjun. “I miss him too. If this will make you feel closer to him, or that you’re honoring him or something like that, then we should go. I’ll support you.”
“Thank you, Y/N.” She ran a thumb over the picture of Hyukjun.
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“What do you want to do for your birthday?” You asked Jisung, searching the table for your next puzzle piece. Your mom had gone to sleep and the two of you were putting together a jigsaw puzzle in your relaxing time before your own bedtime.
Jisung dropped his own puzzle piece that he had been trying to place, staring at you from across the coffee table. “My what?!”
“Your birthday. It’s next week.” You finally fished an edge piece out. “When I looked up the genealogy stuff, it had your birthday on there.”
“I mean, I figured that’s how you knew, but I didn’t think you’d actually—I don’t know, I’m surprised.”
“What? It’s probably been a while since you’ve celebrated it, right?” You put your puzzle piece down. “We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to, I just figured it might be nice.”
“No, I-I’d like that,” he smiled softly. “Just don’t get me a cake with an accurate number of candles in it, please.”
“I think that’d get more candle wax on it than frosting.” You wrinkled your nose, making him roll his eyes. “Are you telling me I have to plan it? I asked you what you want to do.”
“Just you remembering is enough to make my birthday feel special this year, Y/N.” Jisung reached across the table to grab your hand. “I don’t really care what else happens. But I’ll think of something, promise.”
One week later, and Jisung’s birthday lined up with a night that Hyesoo was staying over, so you couldn’t use the living room, as she slept on the couch whenever she stayed. So the two of you retreated to your bedroom after dinner. Closing the door behind you, you turned to Jisung with your arms crossed, narrowing your eyes at him.
“You still haven’t told me what you want to do for your birthday,” you reminded him, tapping your foot. “And your birthday’s almost over.”
“I know what I want,” he reassured you. “But you need to change into your pajamas first, so—”
And with that, he stepped back and through the wall, out of your room. You begrudgingly changed from your casual daywear into your pajamas, then called for him to come back in. Your ghost popped back in immediately, heading towards his side of the bed. You watched him suspiciously as he sat down and grabbed the book on the nightstand. Instead of turning on his lamp as he would usually do, though, he reached over to the lamp on your side of the bed and clicked it on, then offered the book out towards you.
“I want you to read to me tonight,” he requested.
“That’s it?” You frowned.
“That’s it,” he confirmed. “You can sing me ‘Happy Birthday’ too, if it’ll make you feel better.”
You took the book from him and sat down against the headboard, pulling your covers over your lap. Jisung laid down on top of the blankets, looking up at you, waiting. You sighed and shook your head, fondly brushing some of his hair out of his face.
“Happy Birthday, Jisung,” you said, opening the book to where he had left off when he’d been reading to you.
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“I can’t believe you’re actually going,” Jisung grumbled, handing you a lid to the plastic container.
“Me neither,” you sighed your agreement, snapping the container shut.
Today was finally the day of Seohyuk’s wedding. You, your mom, and Nayoung had just finished up lunch, and the aide would be helping her get ready while you got yourself dressed. Your ghost had made his distaste of the situation plenty clear.
“You couldn’t just send money and a card?”
“My mom wanted to go, and she doesn’t have another daughter to go with her,” you put the leftovers into the fridge. “I would’ve looked like a bitch sending her with an aide while I stayed home. And felt like a bitch.”
“Can’t believe that guy has even found three people who wanted to marry him.”
You laughed heartily at that. “Me neither. It’s got to be the money. Investment brokers make good money, right?”
“To fuck if I know,” your ghost snorted.
“Anyway, stay here while I get ready.”
Jisung saluted you, making you chuckle a little as you left the kitchen. The dress code was cocktail, unfortunately for you, meaning that you had to dress in the nicest outfit you’d worn since Hyukjun’s funeral. Most of your day-to-day wear was lounge clothes lately. After putting on your outfit, and doing your hair and makeup as well, you did a final once-over in the mirror, honestly a bit surprised at yourself.
Walking back downstairs, you could tell that Nayoung was still helping your mom in her room, so you looked around instead for Jisung. You saw his dark head of hair sitting on the couch in the living room, and started that way. He turned upon hearing your footsteps, jaw actually dropping when he spotted you.
“You’re going to catch flies like that,” you teased, pushing his chin back up as you stopped in front of him.
He looked up at you with wide eyes instead. “Woah…”
“Good woah?”
Jisung nodded, standing up and offering you a hand. You gently placed yours atop it, and he lifted it to twirl you around, making a giggle bubble out of you.
“Great woah,” he confirmed. “So not fair you look like this for that asshole’s wedding.”
“It’s not for him,” you scoffed. “It’s for me.”
“Still… I think the bride is going to get jealous.”
“Oh my God.” You rolled your eyes, putting your hand over his mouth insistently, despite you being the only person in the house that could hear him. “You’re awful, you know that?”
He was obviously grinning behind your hand, eyes crinkling up with a mischievous twinkle. You sighed and dropped your hand from his mouth.
“So not fair to be that cute when I’m trying to be mad at you,” you huffed, pinching one of his cheeks.
“Ow,” he pouted, covering the reddened skin once you’d let go.
You heard your mom’s bedroom door open, and her and Nayoung came out a moment later. You walked over to give her a hug.
“Mom, that dress is so pretty,” you complimented her.
“Oh, Y/N,” she cupped your cheek. “You look so beautiful, sweetie.”
“You’re really beautiful, Y/N,” Nayoung added quietly.
“Oh, thank you,” you brushed down your outfit. “Thank you for your help, Nayoung. We should be good to go, I think.”
“Yes, yes, we need to get going!” Your mom clapped her hands together. “Don’t want to be late!”
After putting your mom to bed following the reception, you crept out of her room with your heels in hand. Jisung was at the bottom of the stairs, clearly waiting for you. He held his hands out to take your shoes from you, following you upstairs.
“So how was the wedding?” He asked, stopping outside your door to let you get changed inside in peace.
“Oh, it wasn’t bad, actually,” you answered him as you got undressed. “I think everyone was on their best behavior because it was a wedding, you know?”
“That’s good.”
“Seohyuk’s wife is actually really nice,” you informed him, chuckling in disbelief. “I hope he treats her right. And if not, I hope she’s got a good pre-nup.”
“Did your mom have a good time?”
“Oh yeah, she tore up the dance floor.”
“Really?”
“Yup.” Finally in your pajamas, you called out, “You can come in.”
Jisung materialized through the door, and went to put your shoes away for you that he was still holding. “I’m glad you two had a good time.”
“Me too.” You plopped into bed, feeling the exhaustion of the night hitting you all at once. “I’m almost glad that I went.”
“Almost?”
“I’m still thinking about how I could’ve spent all night in my pajamas instead of getting hit on by Seohyuk’s best man.”
“Seriously?”
“Mhm…” You yawned and pulled your blankets up over you as Jisung sat down against the headboard and robotically grabbed the book on the nightstand.
“Was ‘fuck off’ not clear enough for him?”
“Didn’t tell him to fuck off,” you shrugged.
“What?!”
You winced and rubbed your ear. “Loud…”
“Sorry, sorry,” he quieted his voice down again.
“I was bored, and he wasn’t a jerk about it or anything,” you explained simply, closing your eyes and pushing your cheek against your pillow. “Still would’ve rather been here in my pajamas with you, though.”
“Oh. Okay…” Jisung took a deep breath, opening the book up to pick up where he’d left off in the story.
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You were putting leftovers from dinner away some nights later as Hyesoo dispensed your mom’s medications for the upcoming week. You knew your worry was written all over your face. Your mom had been having so many good days—so many lucid days—lately, but today was bad. She asked you why you weren’t at school multiple times, refused to eat, and had another fit over the house being haunted. You were putting her plate of food away right now, entirely untouched.
“It was stupid,” you sighed. “For me to think she was getting better. I know her diagnosis—she’s only going to get worse.”
“There will be ups and downs, Y/N,” the aide reminded you gently. “The important thing is to not blame yourself for any of it.”
You sighed. “You’re right. Thanks, Hyesoo.”
“You don’t have work to do after this, do you?”
“A little bit. You’re staying the night, right?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Good, good.”
“You know, I’ve been doing this for a while, dear,” she said kindly, shaking out a few pills. “And while I don’t know everything, I do know you can’t run yourself into the ground trying to take care of them. Or else there will be nothing left of you, and then how will you take care of her?”
“I know, it was hard to focus on work today, that’s all.”
“I mean—I’ve been with you all for some time now, and when was the last time you hung out with your own friends? Or went on a date? You’re a beautiful young lady, you’re doing the world a disservice staying cooped up in here all the time.”
You laughed and shook your head. “Really—”
“I’m being serious! Just think about it, dear. I promise, taking some time to keep living your life now won’t be the end of the world. This way, you’ll have a support system when you need it.”
You nodded in understanding, putting the leftovers away with robotic movements as your brain continued turning over her words.
Just about a week after that conversation with Hyesoo and you were fixing your hair in the mirror when a gentle knock came at your bedroom door. You called out to the person as you continued messing with your hair. “Come in!”
Jisung phased through your door. “Dinner’s ready, are you—”
He stopped his words as he seemed to take in what you were wearing, tilting his head with a curious frown. “You got changed?”
“I’m going out for dinner,” you told him, leaning over to focus on putting your earrings in.
“Out? Like, a work thing?”
“No, I’ve got a date.”
“What? With who?” He sputtered, then collected himself a little. “I mean—This is the first I’ve heard of it. How did you meet them?”
“His name’s Dongmin. I met him at the wedding last week.”
“Wait, don’t tell me he’s the best man you were talking about?”
“He gave me his number.” You shrugged. “So?”
“I thought you didn’t even like him?”
“What does it matter to you?” You crossed your arms.
“What do you—? Of course I care if you’re going on a date with some creepy guy who you don’t like.” Jisung ran a hand through his hair.
“I reached out to him, Jisung.” You didn’t know why you were getting so defensive, why you felt so on edge at the moment.
He crossed his arms. “Why did you hide it from me?”
“I didn’t hide it from you,” you scoffed. “I don’t have to tell you everything.”
“Yeah, but this is—”
“What? This is what?”
He held his hands up in surrender, looking away from you. “Never mind. Hope you have fun.”
“Yeah, that wasn’t passive aggressive,” you snorted, grabbing your phone. “You’re just pissed because I’m the only person you can talk to all day but I get to actually leave this stupid house and hang out with people other than you.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Jisung glared back at you, raising his voice to match yours. It was quite possibly the most venomous you’d heard the normally soft-spoken ghost be towards you. “You leave the house all the time, you always talk to your mom or her aides. I don’t give a shit.”
You checked the time on your phone, setting your jaw. “I need to go. I don’t have time for you to keep avoiding what you’re actually trying to say.”
“Oh, right, I’m the only one avoiding,” he retorted sarcastically.
“Lalala! Not listening! Too busy avoiding!” You said in a purposefully childish, loud, and sing-songy voice, plugging one ear as you threw your door open and slammed it shut behind you.
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The lights in the house were dark when you got back. Good, you didn’t want to face Hyesoo like this. It was already going to be bad enough risking running into Jisung. Hopefully he was still pissed at you and would stay scarce. Taking a deep breath to dampen your sobs for a few moments, you unlocked the front door and opened it as quietly as you could. No paranormal force on the other side opened it for you this time. Hyesoo’s light snores could be heard from the living room, but other than the sleeping aide, the house was eerily silent. You locked up behind you and started up the stairs, but couldn’t even bring yourself to make it all the way to your room. You all but collapsed at the top step, letting your tears stream freely again as you cried quietly into your hands, hunched over your knees.
That was a fucking disaster.
“Y/N?”
You opened your eyes back up at the soft, familiar voice. Jisung was at the bottom of the stairs, hands in the pockets of his cardigan.
“Oh, Jisung, hey.” You didn’t bother wiping your tears this time as you greeted him. He hesitantly shifted his weight from one foot to another. You patted the spot next to you for him. “Déjà vu, huh?”
He sat down next to you on the top step, deep frown on his features. “What happened?”
“Ugh, guy was an asshole,” you sniffed. “Like, I thought he was really nice and everything, but as soon as he realized I wasn’t going home with him, he turned into a jerk.”
“He didn’t…”
“No, he just said a bunch of rude stuff. Called me a bitch, a whore who was just using him for his money or whatever.”
“Y/N—”
“All that, I didn’t really care about,” you admitted, curling your hands into fists and digging your nails into your palms as his words came back to you. “It was what he said about my mom that really pissed me off. Essentially said I should just put her up in a home and get on with my life. I about threw a punch in the middle of the restaurant.”
Jisung let out a light chuckle at that, but the humor in his features didn’t last long. He scooted closer to you, tentatively wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “I’m sorry it didn’t go well for you.”
You shrugged, leaning against him and resting your head on his shoulder. “I don’t know what I expected, really. He was Seohyuk’s friend, of course he was going to be an asshole.”
Jisung wasn’t warm, but you found his cool embrace comforting enough, the steady pressure of his arm encircling you, his sturdy body supporting you as he let you lean against him.
“I’m sorry, for getting upset at you earlier,” he apologized quietly. “You didn’t have to tell me where you were going, and I shouldn’t have reacted like that.”
“I wasn’t being very fair either,” you replied. “I’m sorry too.”
“But… Why did you go out with that guy? I mean, if he had been nice, would you have… Would he…” Jisung stopped, apparently frustrated at not knowing how to phrase what he wanted to ask. “Why not me? I know that sounds so pathetic, but that’s all I wanted to ask you before.”
You squeezed your eyes shut tighter, biting your bottom lip against the emotions rushing up in your chest at his words. “Jisung…”
“I’m not… imagining all this, right? I mean, there’s something here, Y/N. A-A connection.”
“What kind of relationship can you even have with a ghost?” You asked sadly.
“Maybe the kind you need now.” He grabbed one of your hands, holding it tightly in your laps between you.
“I’m going to get older, Jisung,” you reminded him calmly, despite each word piercing your chest like a knife. “Not to mention—I won’t be here forever. Like, in this house. I don’t own it. I’ll have to leave once she… I’ll have to go. I can’t stay here.”
“Does everything worthwhile in life have to last forever?” He murmured, his voice practically begging now. “Tell me you didn’t think about me while you were on that date…”
Your breath hitched in your throat. “I can’t…”
“You did? Think about me?”
“The whole time,” you admitted. “Even when it was going okay, I was thinking about you.”
“Y/N…”
You looked up from your entwined hands, realizing that you were gripping onto him maybe even harder than he was you. Meeting his dark gaze, you blinked away a few more stray tears.
You finally let out a shaky breath and nodded. “Until it’s over, you and me.”
A smile overtook his features as he rested his forehead against yours. Readjusting your hand to cover the back of his, you moved his index finger to his chest, tracing an X over his heart. Your ghost watched your movements fondly, echoing, “Until it’s over, you and me.”
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“Do you have anything left here that’s yours? Hair in a locket under a floorboard or something?” You questioned, looking around your room.
“What? No,” Jisung scoffed.
“Figured I’d ask.”
The two of you were brainstorming. Jisung really wanted to be able to go somewhere out of the house with you, but the best ideas you had of course came from popular ghost media.
“Your stepdad kept a lot of the original house fixtures when he bought it. Maybe one of those,” your ghost suggested.
“I’m not carrying a faucet around in my purse,” you replied frankly. “Not to mention, I’m not allowed to damage the house while I live here. My stepbrothers could sue me for anything that’s not exactly how it was when Hyukjun left it.”
“What about…” Jisung walked through the closed door, and you could hear the squeak of the stairs as he went down them. A few moments later, he went back up them, then came through the door again. He held out something in his closed fist towards you.
You stretched out your hand palm-up, and he opened up his fingers to drop a small piece of metal into it. It had some weight to it, and you turned it over in your hand to get a better look at it. It looked like a knob to a cabinet or drawer, in the shape of an eight-pointed starburst. It wasn’t familiar to you at all, it didn’t look like he had taken it off any place in the house that you could tell.
You looked up at him with a furrowed brow. “Where…?”
“It’s one of the original knobs that was on the cabinets in the kitchen,” he explained. “Your stepdad’s first wife wanted them all replaced when she moved in. He put them in a box in the laundry room closet and they haven’t been touched since. I doubt your stepbrothers even know about them. She probably thought he got rid of them.”
“These were on the cabinets when you lived here?”
“Yep.”
You pocketed the cabinet knob. “Can’t hurt to try.”
Once you’d given your mom and Nayoung your goodbyes, you headed for the front door. Jisung was right behind you, looking positively giddy as he watched you put your shoes on.
Patting your pocket again to reassure yourself that the cabinet knob was in there, you stepped down from the porch and onto the walkway. After nodding politely to a jogger going by, you looked around hesitantly at the empty space on either side of you.
“Jisung?” You said quietly.
“I’m here.” He appeared next to you, beaming down at you. “I’m here.”
The two of you had never gone past the porch swing, not even down to the flowerbeds you had continued to tend to. You grabbed his arm to pull him down with you as you squatted in front of the snapdragons that had just come back into bloom. Pride and bittersweet nostalgia welled up in your chest as you looked at the flowers that used to be Hyukjun’s hobby.
“Do you know the secret with these?” You asked Jisung.
“No?” He replied, tilting his head.
You reached out to gently squeeze the sides of a pink flower, making the dragon’s “mouth” open and close. “You can make their mouths open and shut.”
Jisung watched you fondly, then tried it on another bloom. He giggled. “That’s kind of fun, actually.”
Standing back up, you continued to the end of the house’s short walkway, stopping on the sidewalk.
“This is the furthest I’ve been in… a while,” he said, eyes shining.
“We’re still in the lay lines of the property…” You kept your hopes guarded. “I don’t want to call it a success yet.”
Walking down the sidewalk, you kept your eye on Jisung the further you got from the house, waiting for him to hit some invisible barrier and disappear entirely, or at least flicker or something else to indicate that he was losing his connection to the house. But he looked… normal. Fine.
When you were a full three blocks away from the house, Jisung grabbed your hand, lacing his fingers with yours.
“Would you stop looking at me like I’m going to die again?” He joked.
“Sorry, sorry,” you sighed. “I just… can’t believe it. How do you feel?”
“Fine. Great!” He grinned.
You'd never seen Jisung in direct sunlight before, only ever the lights of the house, sunbeams that filtered in through curtains and windows, or moonlight at night. You were surprised at how… normal he looked. His skin had a lifelike rosy tint to it in places, his hair shone and reflected a dark brown at some angles, and he didn’t have any sort of ghostly pallor to him. The only thing that didn’t change were his eyes, still as dark and enrapturing as ever, his pupils melting into his irises.
“So where are we going?” He asked, swinging your linked hands.
“You’ll see.” You squeezed his hand before letting it go, hearing the sounds of other people around the corner that you were about to turn.
The destination you had in mind wasn’t very far, which was good, because your shoulder was getting tired carrying your tote bag. Veering off the sidewalk at a seemingly random place, you walked through a gap between two bushes. Jisung followed you diligently, keeping whatever questions he had to himself. The path underfoot was overgrown with grass and clover, only a path to a keen observer, or those who already knew it was there.
Finally, you ducked around a large tree and emerged at a clearing in front of a small pond. Jisung looked around in wonder as you proudly put your hands on your hips.
“Hyukjun and I came out here a couple times, when he and my mom first got together,” you explained. “Bonding stuff. I’m happy I remembered where it was.”
“I think…” Jisung slowly turned around in a circle, still taking it all in. “I think my friends and I used to swim here in the summer. And when the pond would freeze in the winter, we’d skate…”
He walked over to the largest tree nearby, fingers tracing over the bark that had endless initials carved in it, until he squatted down by the base. “Yeah. I didn’t recognize the streets when we were walking over here, but…”
You joined him by the tree, watching as he pointed out a cluster of initials, seven in total, ending on PJS. “There you all are,” you said quietly. “I didn’t even know this was here.”
“They’re probably all old men now,” Jisung chuckled, a laugh that you could tell was forced.
You reached for his hand, holding it with both of yours. “It’s okay to be sad that you didn’t get to grow old with your best friends, Jisung. I know you’re the one that passed away, but have you mourned them yet? All your friends and family that you didn’t get to see grow old?”
“Damn it.” He shook his head. “I didn’t want to make you all sad on our first real date.”
“I’m dating a ghost,” you pointed out, running your thumb over the back of his hand. “I think a little doom and gloom comes with the territory.”
“To answer your question, I haven’t thought about it like that,” he sighed. “I always felt bad that I left them, that they had to mourn me. But I never… grieved the fact that I lost them too.”
“I don’t want to make you sad on our date, either,” you panicked a little at the shadow that had fallen over his features, moving to wrap an arm around his shoulders and hug him. “I’m sorry!”
Jisung laughed a real laugh this time, hugging you back. “It’s okay, Y/N. It’s better than feeling guilty for something I had no control over.”
“Well, that’s true.”
“I honestly hadn’t even thought about coming here with them in so long… Really, it’s nice to remember them all again.”
You let go of him to reach into your tote, pulling out the large picnic blanket you’d brought with you. “How about instead of the both of us making each other sad, you tell me a bunch of fun stories about your friends while I enjoy the picnic food I packed?”
He pecked your forehead, taking the blanket from your hand. “Deal.”
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The pond had become one of yours and Jisung’s favorite spots to go when you could find time between work and your mom. The two of you could get out of the house together without risking you getting some very strange looks in public. Sometimes you brought a picnic, sometimes books or a crossword puzzle or deck of cards or just laid on your blanket and tried to find shapes in the clouds. Every so often, you’d get someone coming by walking their dog, or a gaggle of kids cutting through from one of their backyards to another, but nobody ever paid you much more attention past a ‘hello’ or ‘lovely afternoon, isn’t it?’
After submitting a big project at work, you finally had some free time again. As long as your mom was having a good day today. She’d been more sensitive to you leaving the house lately on her bad days, and while the aides promised that she always calmed down eventually, you hated causing her so much stress if it was avoidable—errands were one thing, but a date with your ghost boyfriend that already haunted your residence could take a raincheck.
You looked in the living room first, then the dining area and kitchen, and frowned thoughtfully when you couldn’t find your mother and Nayoung. Turning around, you were greeted by Jisung, who pointed to the backyard knowingly.
“They’re in the back drinking lemonade,” he informed you. “She’s having a good day.”
“Oh, good. Thanks, Jisung,” you let out a breath of relief, giving him a kiss on the cheek as you passed by on your way back into the living room.
Opening up the door that led onto the back porch, you immediately spotted your mom and Nayoung sitting beside each other on two rocking chairs, a pitcher of lemonade between them as they overlooked the small backyard. Their conversation stopped when they heard the door open, both of them turning to look at you over their sunglasses.
You held your hands up defensively. “Woah, I feel like I just interrupted something…”
“Yes, you can go, sweetie,” your mom said knowingly.
“What?”
“You finished your work and are checking on me to see if you can go out.” She took a sip of her lemonade, pushing her sunglasses back up and settling back into her chair again. “I’m telling you I’m fine, and you can go.”
“Nayoung?” You turned to the aide. “Everything okay—?”
“We’re fine, Y/N!” Nayoung waved you off with a smile. “Really!”
“Alright, alright.” You surrendered, backing up towards the door again. “I’ll be back before Hyesoo gets here.”
“What day is it, Nayoung?” Your mom asked.
“Wednesday.”
“You know, my memory isn’t the best, remind me, when does Hyesoo stay the night?”
“Mondays and Wednesdays.”
“Hm.” Your mom tsked. “Interesting…”
Nayoung didn’t add anything further, but giggled as she took another sip of her lemonade.
“You two are nuisances,” you scoffed and shook your head, finally heading back inside.
You beelined for your bedroom, finding your ghost already sitting on your bed clearly waiting for you.
“Oh yeah, she’s having a great day,” you snorted in lieu of a greeting, grabbing your usual tote bag. “That new medication her doctor put her on is doing wonders. I might have to have him cut her off.”
“I think she’s a lot of fun,” Jisung snickered. “Earlier, when you were on that work call, she was telling Nayoung about your third-grade science fair—”
“Ahh!” You cut him off by planting two hands over his mouth, eyes going wide with mortification. “Of all the things she remembers, that’s what sticks around?! Are you kidding?”
His shoulders were shaking as he let out muffled laughter behind your hands, and he eventually collapsed backwards onto your bed. Your hands dropped from his face as you stayed upright, allowing his laughs to echo freely in your room.
“If you’re going to keep making fun of me, we’re not going out.” You crossed your arms. “I’ll bury your cabinet knobs in the backyard, and your soul will really be stuck here forever.”
“You’ve got to stop being so cute when you pout, and I’ll stop teasing you.” He was still chuckling as he sat up and reached for you with two hands. With an eyeroll, you let him pull you into his lap and wrap his arms around your waist.
“This isn’t fair, I can’t find out embarrassing stuff about you unless you tell me,” you huffed, well aware you that you were still pouting.
“I always answer your questions. You just don’t ask me that stuff.”
“Well now I will.”
“Anything else you need to pout about?”
You let out a deep breath, your face relaxing a little bit. “No. Done for now I think.”
He cupped your cheek, leaning in to press his mouth to yours. Like everything else, Jisung’s lips were cool as they meshed with yours. Not uncomfortably so, he wasn’t quite an icicle, just unlike any human you’d kissed before. You put your hand over his on your cheek, remembering when even that used to be a far-away impossibility.
You left him with one more kiss on the tip of his nose before asking, “Are you ready to go? Mom and Nayoung gave me the okay.”
He started playing with your fingers, eyes focused downwards as he spoke. “I actually wanted to ask if we could maybe go somewhere else today?”
“Sure. Where were you thinking?”
“I don’t want to be a bummer or anything but…”
“What is it?”
His throat bobbed up and down as he swallowed. “You wrote down the cemetery, right? When you went to library and looked up the genealogies and stuff about me. You said you wrote down where my parents buried me?”
“Yeah, I still have it,” you confirmed, cradling the back of his head as you patiently waited for him to finish asking what you knew he wanted to ask you.
It took him a few inhales and exhales to ask, “Can we go?”
“Of course.”
This was officially the furthest you and Jisung had gone from the house together. He’d gone with you on errands a couple times before—the post office, library, things within walking distance—but you had to get on a train for this. You were a little nervous that he might not be able to go this far, even with the cabinet knob safely tied onto a leather cord and tucked under your shirt. So far, the only limit you’d discovered to his leaving the house was time—six hours or so seemed to be the magic number. You’d found that out on a particularly lazy day, when you were looking up at clouds together and suddenly his lap disappeared from beneath your head. He’d apparently popped back up in the foyer with the first headache he’d experienced in decades. Since then, you’d been more careful to keep an eye on the time when you brought him with you.
But he sat comfortably through the whole ten-minute train ride at your side as if he were any other passenger. The car that you were in wasn’t full, meaning that you had a row to yourself, leaving an empty seat next to you for Jisung. After arriving at your stop, you had another five-minute walk until you finally arrived at the cemetery.
“This is where my parents are from,” Jisung stated as you passed under the metal archway at the entrance. “That’s probably why they didn’t choose somewhere back in town.”
A winding path went through the center of the land, smaller pathways breaking off into other areas. It was a big cemetery, gently rolling hills dotted with headstones, grave markers, elegantly carved statues, all sorts of tributes to loved ones. The two of you took a meandering pace, eyes scanning all the names for just one. You looked around the property warily, now extra aware of being a public nuisance somewhere so sacred. You especially didn’t want to risk disturbing any mourners who might be here. But you couldn’t spot anybody except yourself and Jisung, maybe because it was the middle of the day in the middle of the work week.
“There,” Jisung announced, his gaze locked on something in the distance, while you had been looking at markers much closer. He grabbed your hand and pulled you with him as he rushed across the cemetery.
You stopped in front of a simply shaped granite headstone with a carved border. The name at the top read ‘PARK JISUNG’ and under it, a birthdate and death date that were familiar to you. It was the epitaph that was new to you, however.
‘THERE WILL ALWAYS BE LOVE
CROSS OUR HEARTS’
Jisung reached a finger out, tracing over each letter in ‘LOVE.’ He said, “I always wanted to know what they wrote. What they said about me. How they wanted to remember me forever.”
“It’s lovely. They love you a lot,” you replied quietly, resting a hand on his back.
He looked over at you hopefully. “You’re talking in present tense. Are they…?”
“The records I looked at didn’t list them as deceased when I was looking for information about you, but I don’t know how often it’s updated,” you informed him. “I didn’t look any further into them, I was only trying to find out what happened to you.”
“Do you think two more headstones could fit there?” He gestured to the empty space beside his own.
You took the seemingly random question in stride, genuinely contemplating it. “Probably, yeah. Or one big one would fit better, like the couples that get buried together.”
Jisung had a satisfied smile on his face as he nodded. “Yeah, one big one. That’s it.”
It dawned on you then what he was thinking—his parents had most likely reserved the plot next to his for themselves once they passed, and since it was still empty, they were still alive.
“Thank you.” He took your hand, lacing your fingers together. “For coming out here with me. This must be the weirdest date you’ve been on.”
“Visiting my boyfriend’s own grave with him?” You tilted your head back and forth contemplatively, a teasing lilt in your tone. “Mm, yeah, definitely up there. But I’m glad that you wanted to do this with me, Jisung. I can’t imagine what this feels like for you.”
“I’m ready to go,” he declared, looking up at the blue sky above you. “It’s such a nice day, isn’t it?”
“It is,” you agreed, fondly admiring his little one-eyed squint against the sunlight.
Back home that night, you shook one of your sleeping meds from the bottle, setting it down on your nightstand as you went about getting ready for bed. Your ghost was already sat against the headboard, his legs covered by your blankets, hands folded over the book in his lap as he waited for you. Finally ready, you knocked back the tablet with a gulp of water and climbed under your covers. Jisung rested one hand on your head, thumb stroking over your forehead, but after an abnormally long period of silence, you opened one eye to peer up at him.
He was just gazing down at you tenderly, and you fought the instinct to cover your face, instead reaching over to tap the cover of his closed book.
“Aren’t you supposed to be doing something?” You complained in jest.
“Sorry, I was just thinking,” he responded, still not moving to open the book.
“What about?”
“My epitaph. ‘There will always be love.’”
“It’s nice.” You bit back a yawn.
“Yeah. I was thinking about how they probably meant it like their love for me will persist, and proof that I was here and was loved and loved others when I was alive will persist.”
“I like that, Jisung. I think that’s what they meant.”
“And… there was no way they could’ve known this when they picked it, but I was thinking…” Your ghost paused, dark eyes enrapturing you in that moment that you didn’t even think about breathing. “About how even after I died, you somehow found me.”
You grabbed the book from his lap, reaching behind you to blindly put it on your nightstand. Jisung immediately understood, turning his lamp off and leaving the room in darkness as he slipped the rest of the way under the covers. You buried your face in his neck, tangling your fingers in the hair at the back of his head as you simultaneously pressed yourself into him and pulled him as close as possible. He wrapped his arms around you tightly, digging his fingers into you hard enough to make you feel real, which you were glad for.
“I’m going to bring you with me,” you choked out past the tears rising in your eyes. “When it’s time for me to leave. I’ll bring all the cabinet knobs, a chunk of the foundation, whatever will make it work. Fuck my stepbrothers—I’ll pay whatever damages. If you want—”
“Of course I do.” He didn’t even let you finish that thought, and you could hear the tremble in his voice. “But we’ve never been able to get around the time…”
“I’ll figure it out for us, Jisung.” You pulled back just enough to show him as you drew an X over the left side of your chest. “Cross my heart.”
He took your hand from your heart, kissing the back of your fingers tenderly. “We knew it was going to be like this. We promised.”
“We said ‘until it’s over,’” you argued. “I don’t want it to be over yet.”
“It’s not,” he agreed. “But I don’t think it’ll be our choice when it is. Not everything worthwhile has to last forever.”
“Jisung—”
“We’ll try everything,” he assured you, squeezing your hand. “I’m not giving up on you, Y/N. You and me, until you hand the keys over and close the front door behind you.”
“You’ll be coming with me when I do that, Park Jisung,” you declared, your voice cracking over his name.
He wrapped both arms around you again, tucking you under his chin. “Of course.”
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⤷ sequel | masterlist
154 notes · View notes
vampiricgf · 3 months ago
Text
— g. satoru | FAMILY MATTERS
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warnings : dead dove do not eat, dark content, pseudocest (stepdad/stepdaughter), noncon, restraints, slapping, oral, fingering, dacryphilia, pet names (honey, sweetheart, pumpkin, baby), creampie, emotional manipulation, use of daddy, underwear stealing
wc : 3.5k+
if you choose to expand the work and read it, it's your responsibility. I have made sure to use the proper warnings and kept everything beneath a read more for a reason! also sorry for any errors it's not edited
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Coming back home wasn’t supposed to feel like this.
If you’re being honest with yourself you weren’t sure what exactly it was supposed to feel like, but you did know enough to recognize your childhood home shouldn’t feel like a mausoleum. Maybe that was due in part to the overall bitterness of having to come back at all, a failed bid for independence left a lingering sour taste washing across your tongue. It didn’t help your guilt either, guilt for having left your stepfather behind while chasing all the fury of youth. 
You mom was long gone, mostly a faded memory now and it was him, Satoru, who had taken care of you through your adolescence in the aftermath of her disappearance. You would always be grateful to him on some level for that, especially since it would’ve been just as easy for him to toss you out on your ass with a good luck, kid. But he didn’t. Even with the long hours at Jujutsu Tech and the missions you knew he tried to keep secret from you, he still tried. Although you mostly found the overly affectionate displays embarrassing when you were younger, you would be a liar if you said it didn’t provide a certain level of comfort.
Or at least, it did. You knew better, knew that even as an adult yourself you were still explicitly forbidden from entering his study. Wished so hard you physically squeezed every muscle in your body taught that you hadn’t gone nosing for moms things. It had been natural to assume though that if he would keep anything of hers it would be in the study, not out in the main house anywhere. 
You’d just wanted to feel closer to her in a low moment, not pludge even further down in free fall. 
In the small closet inside that room you’d found it. Thought it was just a small box of maybe her jewelry or something like that.
Not a box of trophies. 
Bile rose quick and acidic as you recalled what had been inside that box, fingers gripping the edge of your mattress as you tried to control your breathing. 
Various pairs of womens underwear. So many it was beyond inconceivable, and all carefully folded to fit inside the wooden confines, clearly precious to whomever had placed them there. 
What was worse is that you spotted a familiar set tucked away in the midst of the array of colors and materials. Your own fucking stepfather had stolen a pair of your underwear.
Tears rolled down your face as your breathing spiralled out of control. 
Every interaction since coming home was now colored differently in your racing mind, bearing a more sinister undertone now than any of the warmth you usually felt when it came to the man you looked at like a father. 
But he would be home soon, you needed to get yourself under control and you needed to do it now. He would be expecting you to be ready to go through the usual evening routine you had fallen into: cooking dinner in comfortable silence, occasional chatter about his workday, the familial domesticity of sharing the work of cleaning up before spending the rest of your time either together in the living room or in your separate spaces. You in your bedroom, him in his study. 
Your skin crawled, feeling like something damp and slimy was wrapping around you in a vise grip, like a cobra made of all this sickness swimming around inside your head and your gut. 
The thought of cooking side by side, cleaning up and feeling him wrap you in a hug was enough to make you feel ready to expel everything inside your body. 
The clicking and thudding coming from further down the hall sent chills running down your back as you sprung up, frantically rubbing your eyes with your sleeves. Oh fuck. You cringe, knwoing that he’ll be able to clock it immediately that you’d been crying and you couldn’t stomach the idea of him comforting you right now. But time was rapidly ticking down, marked by the sounds of him tossing his keys in the little ceramic bowl you’d made as a kid, the sliding of a jacket against the metal hook on the wall, the solid thumps of shoes being removed and hitting the wood floor. 
“Hey, sweetheart, are you home?” The question drifted through the house, reaching your now hyper aware ears. 
After taking a few seconds to steady yourself you padded out of your bedroom, arms wrapped around yourself like a shield. “Hey, dad. How was work?”
Before he can answer he looks up at you, instantly his features are awash in concern and you shrink away automatically, before you can catch yourself. 
“Something happen today?” His crystal blue eyes moved methodically over your face, making you feel hot all over and suddenly gripped by fear, like pinpricks of ice punched into your heart. 
“No, just… Just feeling sad. A little bit.” Your voice is stilted and awkward but he seems to buy it, giving you a little aw sound before pulling you in for a hug. 
“S’alright baby. Hey how about we make your favorite tonight, yeah?” He gives you a kiss on the temple and it makes you squirm, the barely contained urge to break out of his hold and take off at a breakneck speed back to your room surging through your head, but you stuff it down. 
Shyly you back up, trying your best to give him a wobbly smile. “Sure, that sounds good.” 
~
Dinner was mostly uneventlful, thank god. Because of the sheer stress and anxiety the actual act of cooking and doing dishes passed by in a blur, and you didn’t have the ability to choke back much food but he seemed to chalk it up to your low mood and didn’t pry. 
Except that now, as you laid in bed in the dark of your room, your every thought focused on the fact that he was shut away in that study. What was he doing in there? Going through the box, relishing in the feeling of all those things in his hands? Or was he zeroed in on yours, face pressed to the silky material with deep inhales, getting rock hard like a fucking freak? 
Fresh tears gathered in your waterline, spilling over and rolling down your cheeks, puddling in your ears but you couldn’t care less. 
You’d never wshed more in your life to be a sorcerer. Maybe then you could feel more confident, if not in confronting him than at least in fleeing. At least you’d have some ability, no matter how small, to protect yourself and shove him out of your life. But instead you were just a sniffling, regular person. At an extreme disadvantage against someone like him. Pathetic. 
You curled up on your side, squeezing your eyes shut against the overwhelming thoughts and the sheer disgust pooling in your belly. 
As you gave all your focus to your breathing you could feel yourself slipping away, exhaustion setting in after hours of being wound so taut you were like a string ready to snap in two. 
You locked your bedroom door, certainly. 
~
It’s dark when your eyes crack open, a different sort of darkness than when you had initially fallen asleep, the sort thats thick as molasses and just as difficult to rid yourself of. It doesn’t register until you try to stretch onto your side, a tug of resistance against some kind of binding. Immediately your eyes snap open fully, heartbeat thrumming as adrenaline shoots through your veins at light speed. 
You thrash, twisting and noticing with a sickliness that someone changed your clothes, or rather removed them and left you in only a pair of underwear. 
Immediately the room turns cold, as if you’ve been transported to the Arctic circle in the blink of an eye. All you can do is whimper as your eyes adjust and your movements come to a halt. It’s then that you catch sight of a familiar shade of white blonde, shining even in the darkness. 
Your stepfather is leaned against the dresser across from your bed, body language lax and lazy, like a cat thats been stretching in the sun after a good meal. You find his eyes, that shocking blue shade no longer familiar as he pins you with the weight of them. His small smile is seemingly meant to convey bashfulness but you see through it, catch sight of the predatory glint of his canines as he pushes off the piece of furniture and walks around to the side you’ve turned your head towards. 
“Hey pumpkin, we should probably talk huh?” You flinch, pushing your body back against the mattress as if you could put any distance between yourself and him. The restraints looped around the rods of your headboard thoroughly prevent that.
“Now, don’t be so high strung. I had to make sure we could have this conversation, you get that right? Now listen, I don’t know what you think you saw-”
“You’re a fucking freak,” you spit, full of vitriol as you glare at him, breathing heavily now. You forget to be afraid, forget the vulnerability of your current position. All that matters now is making sure he knows you think he’s beyond disgusting, a man no longer your step father but a bizarre monster. 
In a split second his hand cracks across your cheek, making you yelp as your head snaps to the opposite side. Immediately a sob bursts from your lips, the sting already setting in. It’s so shocking that you can only gape at him as you face him once again, an odd feeling of betrayal setting in. Not even when you were on your worst behavior did he ever so much as raise a hand to you, barely ever raised his voice even. The man crouching down next to you is unrecognizable. 
“C’mon, I’m trying to have a real conversation with you, don’t be a brat.” You bite your bottom lip, hard enough to wince, but you don’t cry out and you don’t interrupt him.
“Now, you’re a smart girl. Always have been, so you should be smart enough to know that sometimes a mans just gonna have urges, sweetheart.” His long fingers sweep against your burning cheek, making your breathe seize in your throat painfully. 
“You’re sick,” you croak out, his face becoming blurry as tears fall anew. 
You can hear him laugh humorlessly. “Yeah, maybe so. But I’m also a good man, a good dad. Coulda just threw you out, you know. Thought about it. But your mom was just so sweet, I figured whats the harm in keeping a little of that sweetness around.” 
His words make you feel like you could vomit, the implications speeding through your head are enough to make you dizzy and you briefly wonder if he hit you hard enough to cause some kind of brain damage. You don’t get long to ruminate on it though, his thumb rubbing around your lips in slow, steady circles drags you back to the present moment. 
“You look just like her, I ever tell you that? I wonder if you taste the same too.” 
That makes your heart drop all the way to your ass, blubbering pathetically as his hand creeps down your chest now, stopping to squeeze at your breasts and twist your nipple harshly. 
“Really, your dads not a bad guy honey. We could’ve gone our whole lives without anything like this, but you just had to be nosy huh?” You’re not sure if he’s really talking to you or talking to himself and you don’t truly care, all you want is for this to stop. 
“Please dad, you don’t have to,” you get cut off by his hand slipping down the front of your underwear, long index finger stroking against your wetness and its with horror that you realize yes, you are wet right now. It makes you choke on your own spit, renewed vigor in your movements as you start tugging against the restraint again. 
He seemingly lets you tire yourself out, hand never withdrawing, just continuing to stroke you before his fingers connect with your clit and you bite back a groan. 
You hear his grin more than see it as he speaks again. “Let yourself relax pumpkin, it doesn’t have to be so bad.”
You whine, low in your throat, but find yourself complying. Your body stills, your breathing the only sound beside the soft slick noises of his fingers playing with your pussy. With your eyes shut you can almost forget that it’s your own stepfather doing it, can pretend you're just sexually exploring with someone else, anyone else. 
But his other hand grips your face, squishing your cheeks together and forcing you to open your eyes. “Nu-uh, you gotta keep those pretty eyes open for me baby.” You cry out feeling his thumb press hard against your clit, feeling a pulsing like a second heartbeat reverberating from your cunt. “You know, I’m kind of glad you find that stuff. Been thinking about this for a long time.”
You let his words wash over you, hating the way they make your pussy clench around nothing. Are you so fucked up that you’re getting off right now? You decide it doesn’t matter, none of this matters. Just a bad dream from start to finish. Thats all.
“M’sorry dad,” you say, voice breaking and you hear him coo at you before letting go of your cheeks, shifting to lean back on his knees before you can feel him working to slide your underwear off. You don’t kick or thrash, eyes trained on the shadowy ceiling. 
“It’s okay honey, you know everythings okay.” He breathes the words against the flesh of your inner thighs as he slides down onto his belly between your legs. “I love you.”
You can’t answer before he places a kiss to your puffy clit, making your legs jerk and your breathing hitch in your chest. His lips wrap around the sensitive little bud and begin sucking, light and rhythmic and desire wraps its fingers around your mind. You moan openly, hands twisting against the soft fabric binding them. He hums into your soaked cunt, dragging his tongue up and down through your folds, fingers prodding at your entrance before pushing against the ring of muscle, sliding inside you and making your head spin all over again. 
You don’t realize you’re bucking your hips against his hand, greedily trying to take more of his fingers inside as your walls reshape to accommodate the intrusion. His fingers are perfectly slender, long enough to reach the spots you’ve never been able to get yourself and making your vision swim. 
His nose bumps against your clit in just the right way, making you cry out for more, a sort of delirium settling into your very bones an dhe obliges your unspoken need with his tongue.
“Please daddy, please,” you blubber, barely coherent, “love you- I love you-”
With a garbled cry you feel yourself coming undone, your muscles flexing so tightly your back raises off the bed, legs screaming from the strain as you cum. 
On the comedown he never stops rubbing your pussy, making you sob from the prolonged contact and your own sensitivity post orgasm. As you cry you can hear the soft shushing of fabric moving, being discarded, thankful for the momentary break in physical contact. 
“There she is,” he murmurs, voice gentle as you feel the head of his cock bump against your clit, push through your mess of arousal and cum to coat his dick. You feel conflicting horror and excitment at the feeling, horror at yourself for being excited at the though of him pushing inside you fully. 
You don’t get the chance to respond before he was doing exactly that, the head of his cock sitting heavy inside you as he gave a few shallow thrusts that made you pant and wince. He felt heavy inside you already, but you weren’t given much of a grace period for adjustment before he was pushing in once more, clearly relishing in the way your gasped and arched upward once more. 
The sheer girth of him was astounding, coupled with the length reaching impossibly far up inside you and in a sickening way you felt jealous that other girls had felt his cock before you did. He was your dad, didn’t it just make sense? 
“Knew you’d take it so well, pussy was made for me, yeah?” He grunts out as he bottoms completely, hips nearly flush with yours and hands pressing your thighs down firmly to open you as wide as possible. And it all felt impossibly good, better than anything you’d ever had before. 
You nod your head dumbly, still thick with the pain from his slap and the afterglow of your earlier orgasm. 
He doesn’t start with a soft pace, not that you really expected him too. Clearly it had worked him up, the time he’d spent lavishing your cunt with attention and the thought made you feel strangely proud at having been the reason your stepfather was painfully hard and fucking you into the mattress with abandon. The pace was so brutal all you could do was hang on to the restraint, feeling your breasts bouncing wildly as he gripped your legs so hard it would definitely leave bruises in the morning. 
“You take it so much better than any of the others,” his voice is strained, probably from the way your clamping down around him and the way your walls are massaging his cock frantically, as if you need his load or you’ll die. 
A thought pops into your mind and you squeak it out before you can stop yourself. “Your favorite, dad?” 
“Ah fuck, yeah you’re my favorite baby.” His head tips back as he lets go of your legs to grab your hips, yanking you up a bit more than what your current position allows but the pain of it feels delicious in tandem with the way his cock rams against your cervix, another round of tears falling as your mouth drops open in a silent wail.
The way hes holding you open makes you feel like you’ll snap into a million pieces, it’s all so suddenly overwhelming and you don’t notice the way his thrusts become sloppier, his moans more unintelligable as he pushes even deeper inside you with every internal push. And suddenly hes caging you, gripping your face again but not to squish your cheeks it’s clearly to force you to look at him and you do, eyes blown wide and still wet with saltwater. His own fairytale blue eyes lock with yours before his lips crash against your own, all clicking teeth and sliding tongues, uncaring towards the spit leaking from the corners of your mouth as you squeal into the surprise kiss. 
Whats more shocking is how good it feels, as if what you needed to completely tip you over that insane edge was his kiss, all consuming and blotting out any lingering thoughts of how wrong this all was. And it worked, suddenly you had no qualms about chanting his name like a prayer as he rubbed our clit once more, desperately trying to get you over the edge with him again. 
As that coil snaps inside your body and the rush of endorphins flood your brain you’re struck by the thought that nobody could ever make you cum like he has, and how even though he hasn’t even pulled out yet you already want him to do it again. 
And its then that you feel it, that thick gooey warmth spreading inside your pussy as he gives one last thrust, as if he could shove all of himself inside you. Between kisses and the grinding of his hips, like he wanted to keep fucking his cum inside you, something shifts fully. An irreparable rearrangement of your mind. Of course looking through his things was wrong, any parent punishes their child for being naughty no matter how old they are. And really, your lucky your dad cares so much about you that he let you cum twice, let you feel his cock stretch you out and kissed you while you cried. 
He even came inside you, so you can be good for him now, right? 
Apparently you’d been speaking aloud as he rubbed his hand over your tummy, pressing down slightly as he pulled out to watch the way his cum oozed out of your exhausted pussy. 
“That’s right honey, see you are my smart girl. And if you’re real good daddy can fill you up again, would you like that?” 
You nod blearily, feeling utterly boneless against the rumpled sweat soaked sheets. 
“I know you’ll behave, my good girl. Better than your mom, anyway.” He says offhandedly as he rises, grabbing his hastily tossed clothes, and you can’t help the way you shiver at that. The vague threat tugs at your mind but for now you decide to shove it away. 
All that matters is being as good as possible. 
And maybe getting on birth control. 
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notafunkiller · 1 year ago
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Summary: Unable to keep the charade up, you finally confront Bucky, telling him the whole truth.
Pairing: (fake) boyfriend’s brother!Bucky Barnes x female reader
Warnings: 18+, age gap (r is 26, Bucky is 39), teasing, dirty talk, or@l sex, fingering, protected séx, pet names, daddy kínk, language, implied aftercare, no mention of y/n
Word Count: 4.5K
story masterlist
Bucky Barnes masterlist
A/N: This story will have 4 parts, this is the 3rd part.
Please, do not repost or translate without my permission!
Avoiding Bucky for two weeks was hard, but fortunately, he didn’t try to push you at all, which made it bearable.
You miss him, though. You always enjoyed his company, and it feels like you are slowly losing a friend. But what’s your alternative?
As much as you try to be polite, William’s friends completely ignore you when you ask them how they are. So you give up quickly, spending time on your phone as you try to ignore them. You can’t go to your room because that would not fit the fake image, so you’re stuck.
You know William is not a bad guy, and he tried to get closer to you a couple of times, but he’s not the type of person you’d see yourself with. Not even as real friends. You’re just too different, and it’s not like either of you wanted to be in this situation.
Bucky has been busy all evening. From what you heard, he’s been working on an important project this week, even at home. But you are happy to see him coming downstairs, probably headed to the kitchen. At least, he’s alive.
“Hi.”
Everyone acknowledges him immediately, and he gives you a warm smile before going to the kitchen, as you thought.
A few minutes later, when he returns, he’s carrying a plate with two sandwiches and a drink in his left hand. William immediately reaches for the glass, and Bucky gives him a pointed look.
“That’s not for you.”
“Come on, you always let me try.”
You can’t help but roll your eyes at his tone. He acts like a kid a lot of times.
“This is for your girlfriend, punk. The one you’ve been ignoring.” You look at him surprised as he hands you the drink. How did he know?
Everyone turns to look at you, but you ignore them.
“Thank you.”
Cherries again... You blush.
“You’re welcome, hopefully you’ll drink it this time.”
For some reason, this is enough to make this whole avoiding him plan of yours go down the drain  and before you know what you’re doing, you’re in your room calling your mom and demanding her to stop this nonsense and let you come home. Because they can do it in another way. You can’t pretend to be a couple for years, can you? What about your life? What about what you want? You’ve already done so much for them, and you are sick and tired of lying.
Same goes for William. He must want the same thing as you do.
But she brushes you off, trying to make you see from their point of view. Because this is what your father wanted. And you never felt sicker.
“He wouldn’t give you the opportunity to run anything otherwise, baby. You have to do this... I am sorry.”
“No, you’re not! You’re fucking not! Otherwise, you would have left him. He controls you and me. He’s been doing it your whole marriage, and I am sick of it. I won’t let him treat me like this anymore.”
There is dead silence on the other side of the phone for a couple of seconds, and you have to forcefully bite your lip to keep the sobs down. You can almost taste the blood.
“Please, honey, there’s nothing I can do.”
You cannot take any more of her tone, so gou simply hang up and put your phone on silent just in case.
There’s nowhere you can go. Nothing you can do to escape this if you want an opportunity to do things your way. Your father uses you, and your mom doesn’t have your back.
It’s suffocating you, and it’s also terrifying how alone you can be despite not being theoretically alone.
He deserves better, too. He deserves to know.
That snaps something inside you, and before you can change your mind, you get out of your room, fixing your hair and wiping your tears with the back of your hand.
William’s friends are still downstairs, playing something based on their voices, but you ignore them. You go straight to Bucky’s door and knock desperately.
You still jump when he opens it, and you can spot the worry in his eyes right away.
He was taking a bath, you notice the water droplets running down his face and body. He probably threw his shorts and tank top on quickly, but you don’t care. He needs to know.
“What’s wrong?”
“I gotta tell you something. Right now.”
You get inside his room without waiting for an invitation, and only when you hear the door closing, you turn to look at him.
“They’re lying to you. Everyone is lying to you, including me. And I’m sorry.”
He comes closer, concerned. “What are you lying to me about, huh?”
“It’s not true. None of this is true.”
“What’s not true?” He presses again. You’re finally in his room, you’ve stopped avoiding him, yet you’re still panicking. And all he wants is to make sure you’re okay. “Take it easy. Try to speak slowly, you are running out of air.”
“About William and I… We’re not together for real. It’s all a scam.”
He's speechless for a couple of seconds, frozen on spot, before you watch him start to laugh hysterically.
“I am serious, Bucky. It’s for the merger of the companies.” You continue, thinking he doesn’t believe you. Because why would he? “Your dad wanted to make sure mine won’t back off so they used me. I swear, I can show you-”
“I believe you, I believe you.” He's surprisingly calm as he speaks, as if you didn’t relieve a huge secret. “That’s not why I laughed.”
“I am sorry. I didn’t know why they wanted to keep it away from you, but I-”
“Why did you agree to all of this? What’s in it for you besides the misery of living here?” He asks, so much closer all of a sudden.
“Nothing now.” You sigh, but you don’t care. Even if you have nothing, at least he knows. And sadly, he doesn’t seem surprised by his parents’ actions. “I was supposed to get my dad’s  support with a small business. I also wanted to run a charity organization... accepting this  was the condition so I can have what I want. It’s stupid, I know. I am twenty-”
“I sensed something was wrong with this whole relationship thing. No couple acts the way you two do, but I thought maybe I was overthinking.” His clothes are fully getting wet now, and you can’t help but stare at his chest. Shit...
“I know.”
“I should have figured out what’s going on.”
His tone seems light, as if you’re not talking about how you all made him believe in a lie for months. You fight the impulse to beg for his forgiveness. You feel like a horrible, horrible human being.
“I am so sorry, Bucky,” you cry. “I should have told you. I am not a good friend, and I am so sorry. But now you know, I couldn’t keep it a secret anymore. I didn’t want to, you deserve so much better than all of this.”
“I know you wanted to.” His hand is on your shoulder all of a sudden, and you gasp at the contact. “On my birthday.”
“Yes,” you whisper. “I wanted to tell you a lot of times actually. But I am a coward. William and your parents-”
“You’re not his,” he interrupts you once again, shaking his head as if he can’t believe it. “You’ve never been his.”
You know what he means by his, and you want to correct him and tell him you’re not an object to be someone’s. But you remembered how much you thought about the possibility of Bucky being yours in the past few weeks, so...
“No, I am not.”
“Good.” He grabs you by the back of your head. “I've wanted to kiss ever since I saw you, don’t you know that?”
You gasp. “James-”
“Tell me you want me. Tell me that, and I’m yours. I don’t care about them, I care about you.”
“But I lied to you.”
“You didn’t want to lie to me, though. Analyze the context you are in a little.” He looks drunk as he stares at you, wanting nothing more than to kiss you.
You shake your head. “I can’t do the fun thing with you, okay?”
“Fun thing?”
“I can’t be like Cherry. I can’t stay friends with you after I kiss you.” And you wouldn’t want to even if you could.
He leans in until his mouth reaches your ear. “Who said I wanted that, princess? I told you I am yours.”
“Are you playing a game?”
“Sure,” he says immediately. “I can play any game you want if that makes you want to be mine.”
“Fucking hell,” you moan, feeling so many things at once. He’s seriously giving zero shits about this whole thing, and he’s touching you. Just like you touched him on his birthday. It feels forbidden and wrong, but also perfect. You can have him now. You can kiss him. And you do, bringing his head down so your lips can meet.
You moan quite loudly, but you can’t hold back. Not when he grabs your ass and pulls you closer to him. You hiss when you feel him lifting you in the air so you can wrap our legs around his hips. He’s so hard. So, so hard! And wet all over. You can feel him properly.
He groans when you deepen the kiss, but you’re so into it you could barely hear him.
“Jesus, you taste so good, baby, so good.” He continues to kiss you until you feel like you can’t breathe. You start to move your hips without realizing, chasing the friction because it just feels so good, even with your pants on.
“James, please.”
“Please, what?” He grinds back a little to tease you and you almost cry. So much desire has been bottled inside you for months. “Come on, use your big girl words, baby.”
“I need you. I’m so wet… I need to come.” So much!
“And you want me to make you come?”
You groan. “Obviously!”
“Then ask me to.”
“Come on, James!” You grab his face desperately. “Come on, make me come. Please!”
He smiles widely, and this boyish smirk only makes him look cuter. You want to eat him whole.
“Of course, baby. So polite.”
He doesn’t waste time after your back hits the bed. He starts to undress you quickly, not caring about his sheets getting wet. You help him by lifting your arms and your hips from time to time, but he manages to get everything off in record time.
You can’t believe you’re doing this, to be honest. The reality hits you when he leans in to kiss you, his wet T-shirt making your nipples harden even more. You’re naked in his bed...
“Hey, you’re okay?” His voice is so soft that you can’t help but smile.
“Yes, I’m just... I can’t believe this is real. I haven’t prepared for it.”
“You’re so cute when you’re shy.” He kisses your lips once again. “And when you’re angry.” The trail of kisses is getting lower and lower with every word. “And when you tell me what to do.”
His mouth stops right on your left breast, his hand grabbing the other one.
You moan, losing yourself slowly to the overwhelming sensation, making it hard to focus or think.
“And when you do as I tell you to.” His tongue is everywhere: from your skin to, finally, your nipple, wetting it with his tongue before he properly sucking it.
You jump from the sudden pleasure and grab his hair.
“Feels so good.”
He switches to the other breast as soon as you speak again. “Fuck, I wanted to sleep on these for a long time. I’m depraved, aren’t I? Wanting to fuck my brother’s girl and suck on her tits before passing out on them from exhaustion.”
You moan imagining him sneaking into your room and doing that, and it makes you even hornier. “Fuck, James! I would have let you... would have asked you to make me come in the morning, too.”
You don’t care if you are depraved too. You are in this together. You wanted each other for so long, and now you’re finally getting it.
“Yeah?” He starts to lower his face more after he leaves a few kisses on the valley between your breasts. “What else?”
When you feel him close to your navel, you laugh.
“I’m ticklish, please.”
He melts. Of course he melts and spreads your legs as far as you can go.
“Gonna finally get my mouth on you. I need you to come all over my face...” Based on his tone, it’s like he can’t believe it finally happening.
“Yes, sir.” You tease. “Gonna get you drenched if you want.”
Something snaps inside him, you realize quickly, as he cups your face.
“I am your sir now, princess?”
“Always been,” you gasp. “You’re in your daddification era after all.”
“Shouldn’t that make me your daddy then?”
You freeze a little, unsure what to say because you’d lie if you said you didn’t think about him like that. He’s such a daddy that it hurts. And it’s like he sensed it.
“Fuck, you’re both, okay? You’re both. Please, James. Need your mouth or fingers... anything.”
“Or?” Bucky puffs. “You’re getting both, love.”
You hear laughter coming from downstairs, and you smirk. If only they knew who you actually are with...
Bucky places your legs on his shoulders and back, and you let yourself stay still, waiting for his first move.
His fingers open your lips first, making sure to hold you open before he leans in and gets his tongue at your entrance.
“Shit, Buck!”
He intentionally breathes out all over you. “That’s not how you call me, princess.”
“What do you want then?” You snap, desperately. You need to be eaten out, not teased. “Daddy? Sir? Old man? James? Tease?”
“That tone,” he says, amused by your suffering. “We’re gonna have so much fun.”
“Well, make me come first!”
“Always.”
He doesn’t tease you much after this, getting his tongue inside you for a while as you pull his hair, and then he switches it with his index finger as he decides to lick your clit.
“Y-you can suck on it. I like it.”
He immediately takes your suggestion and, at the same time you feel him adding another finger inside you, he sucks on your clit as if he’s nursing.
You lose control of your hips, moving them like crazy while he fucks you like this.
His free hand travels to your breast, and you groan. “I’m so close, James. Sooo close. Fuck,” you moan again when he pinches your nipple. “Add another finger, please. Another-”
He does it before you can ask again, and it doesn’t take more than a few seconds for you to come all over his face, surprising yourself and, probably him. It feels like you’re drowning in pleasure, it’s insane. 
Even after you finish, he keeps licking just as fast, and you have to pull his hair harshly so he can stop.
“It’s enough, thank you, baby.”
He smiles, getting up to kiss you without hesitation. “I’m your baby now?”
“Of course you are. My big old baby.”
He laughs. “So old.”
“Yeah, my old man, who needs to take off his clothes.”
Bucky nods, standing up.
“Do you have a condom?”
“Ihm.” You crawl to the edge of the bed so you can help him take off his shorts quicker. It’s hard not to stare at his cock. He’s quite thick, and the head is covered in precum.
“What’s that face?” He laughs, fishing. You know he fishes too, but what can you say?
“You’re a big man.”
He laughs even harder. “Do you mean all of me or a certain part?”
“Fuck you!” You take his hand, forcing him to lean toward you. You won’t stroke his ego even more.
“Let me grab a condom first.”
You nod, eagerly waiting for him to get inside you as you watch him his open his nightstand. You brush off the instinct to cover yourself and spread your legs.
“How many times did you think about it?”
“About you in my bed? Too many times. I was gonna screw it over, you know?” He snorts. “The morning after my birthday. I wanted to come and confess I like and want you to myself, but you stayed away from me.”
You watch him open the package and roll the condom on as you answer. “I think your sister sensed it.”
Bucky scrunches his nose. “Not the greatest subject while I am about to fuck you, but yeah, she knew. She saw right through me, and as we left she told me to go for it and do something scandalous for once.”
“Really?” You’re shocked. Why would she encourage him to do that while you were still with her other brother? “She told me not to play with both of your hearts before we left.”
Bucky shakes his head while getting on his knees between your legs. “You can play with my heart all you want, doll. It’s all yours”
“I need something else of yours right now. Your cock, sir.” You tease him, knowing the effect your words will have on him. You enjoy this so much… having this power over him. “How about that?”
“Ihm.” Bucky kisses your lips briefly. “When you tell me to stop, I’ll stop, okay?”
You nod eagerly, wanting to push him. “What if I don’t want you to stop, what should I tell you then?”
“Just beg for my cock. You seem to like that.”
“You would love that, wouldn’t you? If you want me to beg, at least give me a reason to.”
And he gives you a reason to as he pushes inside you little by little. It’s a strange feeling... getting filled like this with no lube, but it doesn’t hurt, it’s just a bit uncomfortable at first.
“You okay?”
“Ihm, just full.” You smile.
“You’re so tight, and wet, and perfect, you know? I feel like... shit, it feels surreal.”
You look down, and you almost moan from the sight. His cock is more than halfway inside you.
“You feel amazing too.”
He kisses you as he starts to thrust, and you don’t remember the last time you felt like this. Maybe it’s also the build up and the time that has passed since you last had sex, but you can’t think straight. With every push, it gets harder and harder to focus or to simply keep your eyes open.
“Come on, princess, talk to me!”
He leaves kisses all over your collarbone and wherever he manages between his thrusts as he waits for you to speak. But what can you say? How can you speak?
“Y-you feel so good inside me, daddy. So good.” It’s like your mind is blank.
“Jesus!” His eyes meet yours. “Say that again, come on, baby.”
“What? That you feel good or...?”
“You know what, don’t be bratty now. I know you’re close.”
“I want it a little harder, daddy.” You smirk when you see him trembling a little, and before you can say anything else, he’s starting to thrust again, but harder just like you want.
“You’re mine, aren’t you? Worrying about me... taking me so well,” he moans, and you quickly grab the sheets when you feel one of his hands getting to your clit without warning. “Gonna come for me? Gonna come while everyone is downstairs wondering what takes you so long? Gonna come for your daddy?”
You do, of course you do, silently, yet strongly. It feels like heaven, and you don’t want it to ever stop. You can taste the pleasure at this point.
“Look at you,” he moans, still thrusting. “So beautiful as you come for me. Tell me you want me to come for you, too. Tell me-”
You interrupt him immediately. “Please, James, let it go, want you to feel good.” You kiss his neck over and over again. “Want to feel your come inside me.”
You both know that’s impossible, but it still gets him over the edge, and he comes, whispering your name like a prayer.
“Was it good?” You ask amused when his head falls dramatically on top of your breasts, his beard tickling you a little.
“I’m a changed man.”
He manages to make you laugh. “Liar!”
“Don’t call an old man liar, sweetheart.”
“What happened to love or baby?” You lazily run a hand through his hair as you wait for his answer.
“You’re my love and my baby, too..”
“How are you single again?”
“I’m not. You took me.” He grins devilishly before leaving a kiss on the valley between your breasts. Again and again.
“Ah, yes, I do.” You sigh, suddenly back to earth once the after-orgasm effect fades away. “We need to talk about it.”
“I know, and we will in the morning. Tonight, your job is to relax in the bath I’ll prepare for you while I go downstairs and make the punk end the party. Then we’ll sleep, okay?”
“Ihm,” you whisper absently. suddenly really tired as he slides out of you with a kiss.
“Gonna throw this away and come back, okay? Try not to sleep.” You don’t have to look at him to know he’s talking about the condom.
“Yes, sir.”
Bucky’s laugh warms your heart.
*
You wake up all sweaty, with Bucky’s arms around your waist and his beard on your neck giving you extra warmth. If you attempted to move him, he’s too heavy; therefore, you’d have to wake him up.
You sigh. “Bucky?”
“Hmm?”
“Can you move? I need to go to the bathroom.”
“Say the magic word,” he whispers with the raspiest voice ever.
“Now. Or is it daddy?”
He laughs. “Gimmie a kiss then.”
“Let me brush my teeth first.”
“Nonsense!” He leans in to kiss your without  warning, tilting your head with his right hand.
You don’t deepen the kiss, though, using this as an opportunity to sneak out of the bed.
“Hey, come here!  I don’t care about your-”
“I stink. You might not care, but I do. Gonna be right back, okay?”
You’re not fast enough, though, since you hit him with the bathroom door when you open it. “Bucky!” You jump, touching your chest.
“Took too long.”
“Such a baby.” You snort, wrapping your arms around his neck, and get on your tip toes so you can properly kiss him this time.
“Now this is a good morning.”
You nod. “Yep. Good morning.”
“Good morning, little liar.”
You frown instantly, your heart starting to race. Shit!
“I am really sorry, Bucky. I really didn’t mean to...” You try to explain, but you sound like a broken record.
“I don’t mean that, love. I am talking about what your principles.”
You feel like your whole body is on fire. This can’t be real...
“Was all a game?” You slam your hands onto his chest. “Is this a game for you?”
“What? I mean your not sleeping or having sex policy, woman. Calm down! What games? I came after you cause you were taking too long, and you think this can be a game?”
“I don’t know... I just panicked.” You take a deep breath, trying to calm down. “It sounded like you were gonna say it was all a game because I lied to you.”
Bucky shakes his head before wrapping his arms around you waist and pulling you into a tight hug.
“I would never do that. I am not a kid and I know what I want. I know why you accepted this, and you didn’t lie to me, you were hiding the truth from a stranger. They are the ones who should have said something.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, baby. I just wanted to make sure you know that.”
You kiss his upper arm in return, and he smiles.
“So tell me... what happened to not sleeping in the same room? Not having sex...”
“Why are you teasing me?”
“It’s my job as your man to do that.”
You let go of him and smile. “My man… I’m not intending to return you.”
“Return me?” He giggles, suddenly amused. “Now that we’re here, I have a question.”
“What?”
“How jealous you were of Cherry on a scale from 1 to 10?”
You gasp. “Are you going to ask everything this morning or what?”
“Do you want me to do it at lunch?” He teases you. “You don’t have to be jealous. We aren’t even close friends anymore, so...”
“I don’t care about Cherry! She’s nice...”
He brings your hands to his lips and slowly leaves a kiss on each finger.
“Then why was my mocktail left there? It was crying for you to drink it.”
You snap, taking him aback as you grab him by the chin. “You’re mine, do you understand? No Cherry, no Berry, no Watermelon!”
He laughs as much as he can since you’re holding his chin, but then something glows in his eyes. “What about Strawberry?”
“No. One. No fruit, no vegetable, no one.”
“Done,” he answers immediately. “But same goes for you. No William, Will, Bill and so on.”
“He’s not my type, obviously.” You touch his bottom lip with your index finger. “I like them old, savage, and huge like trees.”
Bucky immediately bites the tip of your finger before licking it. “We need to tell everyone. How do we do it?”
You freeze, dropping your hand.
What will you do? If this blows up, and you know it will, where will you go? Where will you work? Your mom would try to fight for you, but you know your dad would immediately cut you off and make sure you’ll regret it. He’d want you to beg for forgiveness, so he will make sure no one hires you.
Bucky must have sensed your panic and immediately grabs your face.
“Hey, I can see you making a hundred of scenarios in your head, talk to me.”
“In the bathroom?” You ask, trying to lighten up the mood for some reason.
“Don’t you want them to know?” He asks confused.
“Of course I do, don’t get me wrong. It’s just...”
“Complicated?” He completes the sentence for you.
“A little.”
“We have time, I’m all ears.”
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