#all the good concept photos make it really obvious when the lackluster ones are lackluster

[sanstropfremir]

hi im not sure if someone already complained about this with you but i find that the in-house photographers that kpop companies have take really boring photos? No interesting compositions, dynamic posing, etc Just a smirk here or there and a dead-eyed stare straight into the camera. The kpop idols themselves may be styled nicely but then the photo itself is just boring. I may be really picky but as a potential customer, it doesnt make me interested in buying the album, only if I really like the songs then I would buy the album solely for the CD lol What spurred this on was ateez' teaser pics lol, it all looks the same to me compared to their previous teasers. Probably cuz its the same in-house photographer. I really like when companies are able to work editorial photographers like cho giseok, it really elevates their concept. Even sm does interesting things with nct dream like their glitch mode teaser photos. Sorry I just had to get this off my chest 🥲

oh yea i 100% agree with you, a lot of the in house photographers for companies are not creative at all. and i do agree whoever the kq photographer is i would like them to shoot literally anything other than a straight on evenly lit portrait. please. i've found it's about half and half that the concept photographers are good, but there are some that are more consistant than others. woodz always has a great photographer, so does sunmi. sm usually has good photographers and has been on a good spate lately: the ones for glitch mode were great, as have been all of the aespa concept photos and i LOVED the once for sticker. the last couple p1harmony sets have been really interesting also? hyoyeon's ones for deep were fun, and hyuna actually shot the ones for stupid cool, which i think is cute af and also they look good. also the obvious mention, the siren:dawn sun photos, because literally how do you get better than that. getting a good concept photoshoot all depends on how well the creative director has integrated all their ideas and maintained a consistant vision, plus the skill of the photographer, so there are a couple places where things can fall through if everyone isn't vigilant.

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Cardcaptor Sakura: Clear Card-hen 1 | Gakuen Babysitters 1 | Idolish7 3 | Zoku Touken Ranbu Hanamaru 1 | Karakai Jouzu no Takagi-san 1 | Miira no Kaikata 1 | Death March 1

The debuts for the winter season keep coming, but we’re almost at the end of them with this post.

Cardcaptor Sakura: Clear Card 1

Note I don’t have any prior experience with Cardcaptor Sakura aside from 1 volume of manga and watching the show in passing while other people were watching it, plus knowing about a few spoilers and the show’s reputation as a seminal magical show show…then in more recent days, I finished 2 episodes of it (in fact as of the day I’m typing this, I finished episide 2 today!).

This OP makes Sakura look like later-stage Sailor Moon, and I think that’s the point.

Where did the bear in Syaoran’s hand go when Sakura hugged him?

Eriol! I don’t really know much about him, and I knew I should’ve known about him before starting this, but…it was a bit of a shock to see a character I technically haven’t seen the debut of with my own eyes.

I get the feeling these are the “two bears” from the prologue OVA…

Emails! In the world of Cardcaptor Sakura! Wow, I feel old…and I didn’t even grow up with her.

Hot dang! Gimme dat bishie (Yue)! I knew he was coming, but…I still don’t really know how he came to be!

Wow, this Yamazaki kid spouts such rubbish! I’m looking forward to seeing him in the main series now.

It’s pretty obvious I need to watch the original before understanding this fully, so I’m putting it on hold.

Gakuen Babysitters 1

I’m here for my Ume and Nishiyama. I’m not particularly good at dealing with kids, especially younger kids, but this doesn’t make me run for the hills either.

Ryuichi involves the kanji for “dragon” and Kotaro has the kanji for “tiger”.

That man with the hat is so not sketchy…

I’ve never heard of NAS before (but I have heard of NAZ through Idolish7).

That joke Saikawa told actually worked! These shows may all be middling this winter, but I’d be happy with even some of them on my docket. I’ve been pleasantly surprised more often than not that I haven’t found “stinker of the season” yet.

The comedy for this show’s really on point, although the overall design is a tad lackluster.

K-Kamitani?! Apparently Ume-chan’s character is Hayato Kamitani, so that’s how Ume got involved, so to speak. This sudden intro of 4 kids works on a story scale, but not in a way any person can process without pausing the video (or getting individual intros later).

Well, there are those individual intros I was asking for. Spoke too soon.

It’s actually kinda sad and quite telling how independent Kotaro is. (I still find it extremely hilarous Nishiyama – whose first name is Kotaro - didn’t voice Kotaro, although from a practical standpoint I understand why.)

Usaida has such bedroom eyes, it’s hard to ignore (because they make him look like En)! Dangit, I want my En back!

This brings back memories. My mum used to deal with kids all the time, and of course I was in the background for some of the shenanigans.

Dragon puppet symbolism, eh? (see the dotpoint a bit back about Ryuichi’s name)

As soon as this guy (who kinda looks like something out of Haikyuu) started demanding Taka come with him, I screamed. That character doesn’t seem very Ume, but…uh, it’s Ume. Gotta deal with it. Now that I listen to their voices properly though, Ume does have a “big bro” voice and Nishiyama a “earnest young man” voice.

Oh dear. Taka’s imprinted on me already, and I don’t even like boys that age.

I haven’t felt a genuine sense of danger from any of these winter shows until this one, so it seems like it’s one of the strongest debuts. Then again, CCS was my frontrunner before this and YuruCamp the second best, so I guess I can’t talk, eh?

Gah, I feel like I wanna cry now. That is a strong premiere!

I have a real problem with how anime tears come out in globs. Then again, I’m too much of a crybaby, as my notes can attest…so I guess no arguing here.

Should it be “Chairman” or “Chairwoman”???

Tsundere grandma. Now there’s something I thought I’d never think in my life…

Oh, I didn’t realise earlier but Taka = “hawk” and Hayato = “falcon man”. Animal jingoism at its finest!

Whoo, that was a real nice debut. I thought I was too old for this stuff, but it’s a keeper!

Idolish7 3

It’s a good thing I chose to cover episodes 1 – 2 so I won’t have to do them now.

I didn’t notice Nagi getting all huggy there with everyone in range (the first time, at least).

In case you don’t know from all the other idol shows, the centre is the one in centre stage. They’re often seen as the leader, so it’s a very important position.

This song can’t be anything but Monster Generation! Woohoo!

Wow, I haven’t seen one of those “watch from a distance” things in a while. Makes me nostalgic.

“Ichi” would probably refer to Iori, right? (He has the kanji for “one” in his name.)

Wowee, Nagi’s entendre…is really thick. Like pudding.

I agree, brothers can be so strange…

“…spoil me sometimes.” - Laying on the entendre thicker than custard here, Iori!

These boys are so into their Magical Kokona. I want in now.

Tamaki really is an En-chan…En-chan! Come back! (But why does Tamaki have no socks???)

These ED outfits are so elaborate! Ooh! Imagine a gender-swapped cosplay of them, that’s be great!

Who’s that on the edge of the ED video though? (You can see something hopping up and down.)

Zoku Touken Ranbu Hanamaru 1

Can we please just call this “Hanamaru 2” like Crunchyroll? “Zoku” just refers to a continuation…anyways, I got Hanamaru season 1 done last year while dealing with Katsugeki, so…here I come, sword boys!

Didn’t Hanamaru get a dub, by the way? Why would you dub this? For me to criticise it? The Touken Ranbu fanbase is kinda small…

W-Wait, did they just write Yams out of this season? Yams is the protag (if not a protag) here! What did Ichiki do now to deserve this???

It was getting too hard to jump through the proxies to play Touken Ranbu as of late, so I deleted my DMM account. Even still, the sword boys have multiplied since I left! Yikes!

Wow, unexpected 1st person bit there, Kashuu/Masuda. I thought I told the industry to stop doing that…

Exposition wave…I don’t need this wave, but I guess anime-only fans might. Carry on, Heshikiri.

So this multiple Konnosuke thing wasn’t a Katsugeki-only gag? Oh dear, my head’s spinning…

I don’t think I noticed, but Kashuu uses a brush (and not a specialty brush provided in the lid of nail polish). Probably because in Touken Ranbu, plastic isn’t much of a concept…

I still appreciate how Kashuu was this Saniwa’s starter. Makes me feel warm and fuzzy for my own TR days…

Photos are a nice way to recap. After all, 1 picture speaks 1000 words.

Wow, Shishiou’s a real chibi compared to these tachi. But Shishiou’s a tachi too…

Dang, I’m jealous. These bros were around when I was a TR player, and I missed ‘em! Dang Kebishii drops!

So that thing really is a nue. I could never see it on Shishiou’s card, y’know.

Hmm…considering the bros are new swords, the Saniwa’s strategy is to level up them up using the younger bro as leader (remember, the leader gets more experience). I see…

A “pincer attack” is a V shape, so the description fits the Crane Wings formation…

I can’t say I wasn’t impressed by Akashi just then. Come to think of it, he didn’t have any battles in Hanamaru’s 1st season.

A double attack suits a pair like this, of course!

Oh my gosh, they even got two dfferent voice actors for the Konnosukes! LOL!

Hanamaru’s EDs kept changing and it seems like they’ll continue to change, eh? This one looks quite spiffy.

The style of this ED doesn’t look like Hanamaru at all. It was probably done by the original illustrator for the swords.

It’s a great return to form for Hanamaru! I’m sold!

Karakai Jouzu no Takagi-san 1

Another day, another long title…plus this show I would’ve passed on, if not for that resolution…

Michiko Yokote is on a lot of shows I watch. I don’t really know what her influence is, but it seems she’s genuinely competent at what she does.

So…uh, Gendo pose anyone?

I think the teacher is the best part of this. I’ve been a bit of Tonari no Seki-kun, and the pull of that is the sheer ludicrousness of what Seki does with his stuff. However, there didn’t seem to be any intervention aside from Yokoi (I think that was her name)…

Nishikata’s reactions are just way too easy to read…

Well, that was okay, but it’s definitely a show to binge all at once. On to the “on hold” pile it goes.

Wait, but they missed a segment (the 100 yen segment). Gotta skip forward…

I didn’t get any laughs out of that show at all, but it’s still a decent school SoL.

How to Keep a Mummy 1

I have absolutely no experience with this manga, mind you…aside from seeing this tiny mummy on Comico…

Wow, if the mummy can fit in his shoe…how big is it?

The translation of “ready” is surprisingly ganbaru, and there’s a “but” mentioned in the Japanese title missing from the English. Also, “ready” has sexual connotations I’d rather not pair with a tiny mummy…I’d say the translation of the episode title should be something more along the lines of “White, Round, Small, Very Wimpy But [Also] Tries Its Hardest” (“It” being the mummy and not Pennywise…).

Is Dracula even public domain right now? (Does anyone care about the intellectual property of a classic vampire novel anyway? Because I sure don’t.)

Can we please start making jokes about how Sora’s daddy got him a mummy? It may seem childish, but I’m tempted to now.

This mummy is so adorable, I think it even beat out the kids from Gakuen Babysitters! Geesh, I’m spoilt this season! It completely set off my moe senses, and I don’t even have any!

It imprinted on him! Oh wow!

The mummy doesn’t even have a mouth…how can it spit things-oh wait. That’s the joke, isn’t it?

Come to think of it, crybaby characters ae few and far between. However, between this and Devilman…er, Crybaby…they’ve suddenly become popular…I guess?

It’s like a harem, only it’s between a dog and a mummy. Why I never…

One of the best things about anime is that you can learn about other cultures through the things included offhandedly…like that molokhiya thing that Sora mentioned. Apparently it’s a Jewish vegetable of some sort.

Do mummies get jet lag too? I was just thinking how Comico stories, with their full colour and yet simple design (to allow for downward scrolling and intake by the eyes) are perfect for anime.

I listened to the show with volume for once…because Tazuki seems to be the guy voiced by Keisuke Koumoto…and I think I was on the money there. Plus, Sora’s VA really sells the delivery of jokes (although he seems to be voiced by a woman…?)!

Yamanba…like Yamanbagiri’s namesake. The mountain hag, right?

Yep, I was right on the money with Tazuki being Koumoto. Kamitani Tazuki, it seems his name is…

This dance ending’s kind of cute, too. It’s a keeper!

Death March 1

(looks at title just above this dotpoint) C’mon. There’s no way I’m going to repeat “Death March to the Parallel World Rhapsody” over and over again for at least 11 or 12 episodes…by the way, I’m here because I was reading a KonoSuba novel and saw an ad for this, just in time for the anime…

“SADA”, my butt…

I love how they almost replicated Windows 8 in this show. Or is it 7, or 10? They don’t show the taskbar, which is the main visual difference between 8 and 10, but either way the Windows replication without being sued is really something…

This OP’s gonna make me dizzy someday…

Classes, eh? So that means Suzuki’s working with an OOP language. Plus you can see Cortana on the computer as the mention of classes goes by, meaning that person’s on Windows 10.

UML.

By the way, Satou is a fairly common name in Japan…at least to my knowledge. But Suzuki is a pretty common one, too, hence the mistake.

The client? Unless Suzuki is referring to the client as in the program, it could also mean the client as in the person/group who wants the game made. Considering what he says though involving a call, it’s probably the latter.

That’s the second show with a lost kid in the first episode. It seems a bit trite, don’tcha think?

According to his phone map (flip phone!), he’s in Akihabara.

FFL…eh? Google says there are multiple Final Fantasy games for Android, meaning I’ve probably thinking of Fire Emblem Fates (which doesn’t match), and there’s no such thing as Final Fantasy 50 (L in Roman numerals) yet.

That’s the second time they mentioned work/daily life being a death march. Can we not???

Come to think of it, Suzuki looks like Nobuaki (King’s Game), which doesn’t bode well for either show.

Apparently you can get Facebook Messenger for Windows 10, which I didn’t know…

“…being a corporate slave.”

C’mon! This ain’t the Animatrix, but still, if you’re trying to make stuff look technological, at least make it look a bit better.

Third time they’ve mentioned “death march”.

It might just be Houseki no Kuni’s fault, but this CGI is really janky.

Welllll…at least it looks like a game.

Welllllllll…at least they knew where to put their money for some sakuga…

This running through fields scene is either a homage to Every Anime Opening ever, or Pokémon. I distinctly remember it being in Emerald’s opening animation, at least.

Dude, if you want to look for a wyvern, do it from the ground where you won’t get injured, dumb Satoo.

Does this look a lot like Berserk (2016) with all its CGI knights…or is that just me?

Zena…? I might be showing how old I am with this (or how much I scour the internet), but…by any chance, do you mean this gal instead?

I think I’ve had enough of this flip for now, so I’m putting it on hold.

[idolizerp]

LOADING INFORMATION ON CELESTE’S MAIN RAP, VOCAL JI YULHEE...

IDOL DETAILS

STAGENAME: Jiyul CURRENT AGE: 27 DEBUT AGE: 22 TRAINEE SINCE AGE: 14 COMPANY: 99 SECONDARY SKILL: N/A

IDOL PROFILE

NICKNAME(S): 율율 (Yul-yul), 윙크 퀸 (Wink Queen), 섹시 다이너마이트 (Sexy Dynamite) INSPIRATION: She hatched a love for the art of performance from a young age; adoring the attention, and the applause, from the attendees at her parents’ church as she sang in the choir. The rush of adrenaline, the saccharine-sweet praise, the irrefutable high; it left her hungry for more. It was told to her once that she had a magnetism when she was in front of a crowd—a presence that not many possess. While she often felt that those who told her such kinds things weren’t being all too serious, she somehow convinced herself that she was good enough to audition for companies; the love of putting on a show guiding her to 99 Entertainment, and leaving her in their care. After début, however, Yulhee’s decided that her main goal as an idol is to be a voice for the women, and girls, who don’t necessarily have one. Whether they be trapped in sheltered lifestyles like she was in her past, or told they can’t do something that they love, she hopes that her example gives them strength. Without a cause to speak for, what she does as a public figure would mean nothing, so all she wants is to fuel her female fans with the confidence to take a risk, and change their lives for the better. SPECIAL TALENTS:

Despite being the main rapper in her group, she can match pitch fairly well.

She can comedically impersonate all of her group-mates’ singing voices.

It is often claimed by her members that she is an excellent pole dancer.

NOTABLE FACTS:

While she doesn’t have any tattoos on her body at present, she’s stated that she’s a bit interested in getting one sometime soon. She finds them stunning, and her fans often send her photos on Twitter of the theirs to see if she’ll like/retweet them.

Jiyul is a graduate of both SOPA, and Chung-Ang University.

She is known to be an avid, and vocal, supporter of LGBT+ rights, and celebrated the legalization of same-sex marriage in the USA on her social media platforms.

IDOL GOALS

SHORT-TERM GOALS:

Despite lackluster popularity for Celeste, Yulhee plans on breaking apart from her pack in order to release music as a soloist. She’s happy that she has a group of women behind her as friends, colleagues, and confidants, but she feels as though she’s trained for so long that she can handle being on her own. That, and she hopes to be able to fight for as much creative freedom as possible, but even if each song is planned out for her, she’ll happily perform them. All she wants is her own spotlight—plain and simple.

LONG-TERM GOALS:

Though a life of fame and fortune used to be her ultimate goal when she was young, now that she’s gotten older, Yulhee dreams of leaving the spotlight behind her in order to become a wife, and a mother. Having spent so much time underneath the strict rules of 99 Entertainment, all she wants is a simple existence; one where she could look back on all that she’s accomplished proudly, but still disconnect from each memory in order to gain some sort of peace of mind.

IDOL IMAGE

From afternoon getaways to pick up saccharine sweet confections of bubblegum pink hues from the convenience store at fourteen, to indulging in multiple bottles of soju after a long day of rehearsal at twenty-two, Yulhee has evolved throughout her time as an entertainer. Having entered the industry as a pre-teen, she was once a bright-eyed, naïve girl with an appetite for success—a determination to metamorphose recurring dreams into blissful reality. Once upon a time, she was seen as a mess of blushing cheeks and soft-spoken syllables; her personality ethereal, moldable, and delightful. This supposed innocence, as well as her lack of vocal chops, caused her to be overlooked for earlier generation groups that her company débuted, particularly Heaven, and instead, she was selected to start her career within a collective that was safer; something dipped in chocolate and sprinkled with powdered sugar. Though, by the time that she was introduced to the public at large, she had aged quite a bit—standing at twenty-three years old, her curves and more mature, feminine wiles noticeably different in comparison to a few of her members. It was at this time where her company began to realize that they might have made a mistake with her, but instead of forcing her into a mold that was meant to sweeten audiences up with aegyo and ‘little sister’ images, they allowed her to take a step out of the box ever-so slightly—to charm them with flirtation, endless winks, and well-timed comedic retorts.

In the beginning, she was similar to that of a more wholesome Marilyn Monroe—someone that had a playful, yet coquettish wit, but was swathed in a delicate, girlish charm that still fit Celeste’s image. When she was surrounded by a multitude of Nation’s Little Sister hopefuls, she stood out as the older sibling who was more experienced, more wise, and quite frankly, almost maternal. To a lot of their younger fans, she was the ‘cool unnie’ that they felt they could trust, or the ‘beautiful noona’ that younger men fell head over heels for. Yulhee took this image in stride, and though it wasn’t necessarily what she hoped, it was better than being reverted to being almost childlike. She’d never been good at faking cute, after all.

She had also become known on variety shows to tease and simper. It started out as an array of innocent compliments, batted eyelashes, and frisky remarks, but as Celeste began to evolve, she was slowly able to unleash her bewitching incantations even further—her once chaste intentions with slightly amorous advancements turning into full-blown coquetry; almost to the point of vulgarity. Now able to don miniskirts and low-cut blouses, she uses each inch of her frame to captivate audiences, and it is particularly entrancing to Celeste’s newfound male-dominated fanbase. Needless to say, she continued to blossom until she was vivid flora all on her own; the blessed switch in concept elevating her confidence, and pleasing her knowing that she was no longer going to be forced to release music that she, personally, deemed ‘too young’ for her. A negative side effect to this alteration, though, was the fact that many of her female fans thought she acted indecently in the media, and that in, and of itself, is something she deeply regrets, and feels remorseful over.

Despite the more overt approach to her sexuality, and the transition from being the ‘cool older sister’ to the ‘super sexy older woman,’ Yulhee still believes that her mind (especially her wit and wisdom) is what makes her marketable; relatable. She might portray herself as someone that’s a bit loose, and a bit of a minx to the public, but all of that is calculated, and she’s still able to handle herself in a poised fashion when need be. Why can’t beauty and brains live together in harmony? Why must they constantly exist so far away from one another? Why can’t she be sexy, and smart? Why can’t she be a role model, but also someone who embraces themselves completely? She’s here to prove that she’s a cocktail containing both—a woman who’ll make you blush, but also have long conversations about the state of the world, too. A woman who men and women would like to take to bed, but also someone to take home to meet the parents, too. It’s that duality that (hopefully) makes her every man’s dream girl, but every woman’s role model, as well.

IDOL HISTORY

1999.

The strong fingers of her father delicately plucked the keys of ivory and ebony, each note played flowing into her ears, being digested, and then replicated (to the best of her ability, at least) by the bell-like sound of her voice—it’s high-pitched, childish quality a testament to her youth. He plays each scale over, and over again, hoping that her still-developing ears would fine-tune themselves enough to correct the mistakes she’s made in the process, but she was still too young to understand what these exercises were for, and that was obvious.

“One more time, Hee-yah…”

His timbre soft, warm, and encouraging, as he travels up each octave; her breath working to support each note as it went higher, but once she wasn’t able to produce much noise, he ceased his motions; wishing she could’ve reached more than she had, but he didn’t want her to strain too much. That said, he wrapped an arm around her; pulling her in close as a non-verbal ‘good job’ to soothe her from all of the work he put her through.

“Wanna know what? I think you’re going to be fantastic for your solo this Sunday! You’ve really worked hard, and I’m proud of you. Mom will be, too.”

Nodding her head, she inhaled and exhaled a deep breath; her throat sore from the hours of practice she’d endured. Despite the workload, she was looking forward to her first ever recital with them at church; her mother, the director of the collective, eager to show the congregation what her little girl has been working on. The two have them had always stated that she was a chip off of the old block—her father’s looks, but her mother’s talent. Presently, she found all of the love and attention they gave her comfortable, but as time drifts on, it was only going to become more suffocating. For now, though, she did as she was told, and come the time she made her début as a singer at mass, Ji Yulhee began to fall in love with being in front of the crowd; the heat of a room full of people staring at her fueling her with confidence as opposed to uncertainty. All of the fun she had while being the center of attention was more important to her than being a perfect singer, after all.

Little did she know then that, as she grew into the woman that she’d become in adulthood, that rush of adrenaline would become something she chased forever.

2005.

Adolescence. What a troubling (and defining) time in a girl’s life.

Each year that she’s grown more and more into a woman, she’s been dolled up to be the poster child of the church that her father preached at. Truth be told, that isn’t something that she necessarily invited, but she was still too young to know what rebellion was. However, in her older age, she was growing a somewhat rotten attitude that would peek its head out in peculiar ways. At thirteen, she became a master of back-handed compliments; ones so decadently sinister, but still so drenched in sugar, that they didn’t come across as rude or deceitful. Despite this change in her demeanor, everyone who attended mass would shower her with compliments, and it became so often that, at the time, she was getting so sick, and tired, of hearing the same old repeated sentiments time, and time again.

“You’re so beautiful!” “You have a stunning voice!” “Have you ever thought about becoming an idol?”

At thirteen, she fought hard not to roll her eyes at the saccharine-sweet adulation. She didn’t mind the praise much at first, but having to step into a set of shoes that were far too perfect for her was exhausting. Not only that, but if she were being honest, she didn’t find herself to be that great, either. In a sense, she had a hunch that all of those who’d seen her grow were being overly kind. Sure, she had thought of auditioning for companies in hopes of escaping the sheltered walls that were built around her, and sure, she thought that just maybe, possibly, her singing voice was okay enough to mold, but everyone made it seem as though she was flawless; seamless. That, in and of itself, only added to the pressure she was subjected to on a daily basis. Also, each time the opportunity was created for her to seek out casting calls, she was needed for something: recitals, rehearsals, or chores, it didn’t matter. Time wasn’t ever kind to her, or her dreams. Luckily for her, though, another chance would be thrown in her direction, and this time, it’d work in her favor.

As she walked home from school one evening, she overheard two of her classmates talking about the recent announcement that 99 Entertainment made on the radio; their chatter leading her to discover that there was going to be an open call searching for talent the day after her fourteenth birthday. Rushing home, she let her parents know of her plans, and though they were hesitant at first, they allowed her to take part; having confidence that she would be able to make them, and their cohorts, proud with her supposed talent.

2008.

Her phone rings, and yet again, she lets it go to voicemail; the screen letting her know that she has a collection of twenty-seven missed calls from her mother in the past four hours.

It had been the fifth Sunday in a row that she hadn’t bothered to attend church, and it was becoming concerning for her parents. The tried, and true, excuse of needing to squeeze in extra time in the practice hall for yet another evaluation wasn’t working anymore, and they were adamant that she attend. The truth? She simply didn’t believe in what they preached anymore, and hadn’t for a very long time. She’s grown-up, experienced life, and has learned to make her own decisions; to live for herself, and herself only. They, however, didn’t want to believe that; or, rather, they absolutely refusedto believe it.

After all, how on earth could their little girl be an atheist?

Turns out, it only took her a few years to learn what rebellion was, and she was doing just that; turning her back on the world that she knew since birth. Never in her life had she been able to express herself like she had in training, and there was no way that she was going to give that up.

If it wasn’t for her successful audition at 99 so long ago, she would’ve still been trapped like Rapunzel in her parents’ world; treated like a princess who couldn’t ever step out of line. So, despite it being nearly soul-swallowing to focus wholly on work, school, and her dreams, Yulhee couldn’t be happier with where she’s at—this new form of limited ‘independence’ much more than she could’ve ever hoped for.

2010.

All she could think about was their critiques.

No matter how many times she tried to listen to music to drown out her thoughts, all she could hear was their voices—their pity-ridden tones still making her angry as she recollects the moment they told her that she wouldn’t be making her début. Four years had gone and went, and now, at nineteen, all she wanted to do was throw in the towel. Was all of this pain really worth it in the end anyway?

She’d always been a loose cannon; someone who, after years of keeping her head directed towards the ground, was no longer afraid to get angry, or speak their peace. Now, though, she felt as though she was forced into silence; much like she was as a child. Instead of being able to respond to their thoughts, she had to bite her tongue, but that didn’t stop her from seeing red as their words played on repeat in her mind.

“You just don’t have the strongest voice out of the girls here, and if you did, maybe you’d have a chance in Heaven, but we think that you need more time to grow.”

More time to grow? Had she not done so already? All of this was mere confirmation that all of her insecurities from her days in the choir were accurate; that she wasn’t as talented as everyone claimed.

“Your pitch is okay, at best, but you lack the edge we’re looking for. There’s no grit, no soul, and that’s what’s need for Heaven. We’d love it if you would learn to let go more.”

Each statement was like a jab to the heart, and though she did her best to be composed, she couldn’t help but feel as though she made a fool of herself, and that made her mad. Curse her mother for making her over-analytical, and curse her father for making her focus on the things that could be learned, instead of what could be felt. Turns out, in her eyes, at least, they tried turning her into a robot in more ways than one, and for that, she probably would never forgive them.

That said, though, she decided to suck up her frustrations, and move forward, but instead of focusing on singing, she decided to dabble in other branches of performance. Maybe she’d learn more if she hung up what she claimed to love in the past, and embraced something new?

2011.

Bass-heavy tunes flowed into her ears from a set of newly purchased headphones, and when she used to focus on how a singer would string their lines together to create pretty sounds, she now tossed that aside. At present, she solely focused on the passion the rapper exuded; admiring how they were able to express themselves in intensity; in fire. Never in her life had she been subject to a world of such power, and for once, she felt inspired. Back then, she failed to realize that she didn’t focus on singing for herself, no. She only did it because her parents wanted her to, so there was a disconnect between her, and music, whenever she opened her mouth to perform. Now, though, she was becoming drawn to a different method of performance—one that better suited her fierce personality.

So, after moving her focus over to rap, she found herself staying up all night to learn about rhythm, about flow, and about swagger; three things that were necessary to her success in the field. It wasn’t easy for her to adjust to, and it took her a long time before she was able to fully cover a song that was only rap, but she was dead-set on living and breathing hip-hop. Whether it was Western, or Eastern, she spent hours researching and studying; seeing what its origins were, its cultural importance at different periods of time, and it was then when a deep-rooted adoration for it was unlocked within her. Even though she lived in a completely different fashion from the genre’s founding fathers, she felt as though she could relate to them in a multitude of ways, and overall, she understood their anger.

She had a lot of it, too, after all.

After gaining a better understanding of it, she knows that it isn’t about staying perfectly in beat with the track; it’s about the movement, the message. Yes, being precise is important, but instead of focusing so hard on technicalities, she needs to use her emotions to fuel her performances. Unleashing that wasn’t going to be easy, but she was determined to try.

2013.

Manicured fingernails combed through the whorls of onyx-black tresses that traipsed down her back, high-heel clad feet confidently walking into the evaluation room she’d learned not to fear as much as she used to. She was once a meek girl who was never sure of how her performances would go, but now, especially after looking failure in the face once, and being able to trust in herself more, she donned a layer of confidence that wasn’t there before.

With a new transition into the world of rapping, she’s learned that she’s able to fully let go of whatever inhibitions and demons plagued her in the past; the sound of her mother’s voice no longer ringing in her ears as she now doesn’t focus much on singing. Instead, she uses the suppressed anger for the woman and man who raised her as ammunition. Sure, she’s still very much a novice in the eyes of the hip-hop world, but her presence has changed almost completely. So, as the music started, she took her position and began; her eyes narrowing as she delivered her verses; the nasally tone she adopted still adding a girlish charm to her stanzas. When she was finished, she waited for critiques—her new favorite part of each evaluation, believe it or not.

“You’re still having an issue with making sure your lyrics are pronounced properly, but this is better than last time. Your stage-presence has gotten better, as well.”

Nodding her head, she remained silent; learning from what they had to say instead of taking it to heart.

“It also seems that you’re not super comfortable performing choreography in heels yet, too, so maybe practice more with them next time? I don’t recall you ever wearing them while you rehearsed.”

Agreeing, she bowed and thanked them for their time—her work not yet done, but on the path of becoming more polished more and more everyday.

2015-2017.

Here she was: on-stage during her first ever goodbye stage, and even though television cameras spiraled around her like drones, she couldn’t help but feel painfully out-of-place. Having taken a chance by diving head first into the art of rap, she was stuck with a cute concept; one that would’ve been appropriate for her around the time she almost made her début. What’s more is that, after working so hard at her new passion, she was stuck mostly singing (and even talking) during Celeste’s first ever track. She had no honest idea why her life had taken this turn for her, but she couldn’t help but laugh in each recording session; every song they were given to work with driving her insane with how immature they sounded.

She, as well as the rest of her members, weren’t necessarily young girls anymore, and she found herself cringing more times than she could count every time they performed. She tried not to make it too obvious that she wasn’t having a great time, but it was extremely challenging.

In fact, a few of her sour facial expressions were caught on camera and it prompted some very low-scale attitude scandals, but overall, she did her best not to let her intensity show.

Throughout this time, though, she couldn’t help but think of how her parents were probably pleased with what she’s up to; their daughter back to rocking an innocent image all over again—one that she’s tried so hard to desperately run away from.

Time and time again, though, she wasn’t allowed to properly rap on title songs, and that made her extremely upset. Their current concept didn’t lend itself to the image that she longed to have in the industry, and being as though she was already well into her early-to-mid twenties, she feared that she would be stuck in this box forever.

Maybe she wasn’t meant to ever be fully pleased with her life?

2018.

Due to lackluster sales and little-to-no success in their market, 99 Entertainment had let the girls know that some changes were going to be made, and it left Yulhee feeling very uneasy. If this was their subtle way of letting them know that they would be disbanding, she would feel extremely betrayed; as though the last twelve years of her life was nothing more than a waste of time.

However, what she was met with was something that positively excited her: a change in concept.

While it might’ve seemed like a move out of desperation to some, she was extremely happy to know that they would begin moving into the realm of sex appeal and girl power. It’s known that most failing girl groups make this change in order to grab new attention, but this was an adjustment that she felt worked better in her favor, so why wouldn’t she embrace it with open arms? Her visuals better suited genres that were a little more risqué, anyhow, so why would she ever complain about being more of a central member in her group?

What this also meant, too, was that she was finally going to get a chance to rap more often, and hopefully now the public would see more of her charms; her gentle approach to flirting on variety shows in the past nowhere near as brazen as she was in real life. Hopefully now she would be able to feel comfortable in her own skin, and after the release of Heart Attack, and the comebacks following, she was becoming more well-received by the fanbase.

“I didn’t know that Jiyul-unnie could rap so well!” “Is it just me or is she glowing more after they switched concepts?”

This was the praise that she was used to, but instead of finding it artifical and obnoxious, she found it humbling. It was almost as if life was finally throwing her a treat after she spent so many years begging for a chance to shine.

2019.

Presently, Yulhee is enjoying the attention that she’s been given; both from the company, and from her fans. While she knows that she’s not perfect, and that she still has a long way to go before she’s able to prove herself worthy of the title of main rapper, she’s happy that she can now make actual progression in her field. Before, she was forced into the same box that she was placed into as a little girl: someone that was expected to be frail and obedient. Now, though, she’s finally allowed to be the woman that she’s always wanted to become.

One that doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. One that isn’t afraid to express her sexuality, and her feelings, freely. Hopefully she can be a role model to the women, and girls, of the world who are tired of being told what to do, and when to do it. Instead, she urges them to take a risk; to stand up for themselves; to raise their middle fingers in the air towards the people who’ve doubted them throughout their lives.

Even though she’s living through a high point in her life, she still deals with her fair share of flaws. She’s greedy, self-indulgent, and at times, a bit arrogant—her past attitude problems now elevated to a point where she’s called a ‘diva’ quite often. For now, though, she doesn’t really care about the rumors, and the ugly truths. She’s living as herself, and herself only; much like she’s always wanted to.

And that’s what’s really important to her.