#all the aro people so people would care about them more :/

[stellewriites]

and harmonise

showing all parts of myself a bit of love here while i figure out my place on the aroace spectrum

gaz x reader

aro gaz, ace reader, fluff

you’d realised you’d liked kyle for a few months now. it felt inevitable given your close friendship, his cracking smile and caring nature; plus those egregiously tight, but oh so flattering, workout shorts he insisted on wearing throughout the summer.

the slow development of feelings snuck up on you until one day you realised the urge to kiss him was blaring like a siren in the back of your mind as you listened to him talk about some album his mate johnny had lent him. you’d not panicked though, it had felt only natural to fall for him. as one of your closest friends, you knew first hand how lovely he was; in fact, you were surprised it hadn’t happened sooner.

you also knew nothing would come of it. the entire time you’d known gaz, he’d never once really dated, the few people he’d introduced to your friend group were never officially titled girlfriend or partner and didn’t stick around for long. you’d always dismissively assumed he maybe wasn’t keen on commitment, and since you didn’t date all that much either, the topic never came up between the two of you.

you’d met on a work’s night out at christmas seven years ago. he was a coworker’s friend that had come to meet them in the pub and you’d hit it off immediately when you coincidentally sat near each other at the table.

by the end of the night you’d swapped numbers and started to hang out more and more often; as the years went by, you’d only gotten closer.

this came to a head one evening when you were sat on his couch, sprawled next to him after finishing your takeout and watching his football team lose on tv.

you’d been flirting lightly all evening, teasing him as his team missed easy passes and stealing his food while he threw his arm over the cushion behind you and pushed his plate closer. you felt something brewing between the two of you and after a few encouraging messages from your friends you finally decided you were going to ask him out when he walked you home later.

his phone pinged on the coffee table in front of you and you snickered when you saw johnny’s name. “looks like you’ll owe johnny fifty quid in about an hour,” you said and kyle groaned into his hands.

curled over with his elbows on his knees you rubbed his back

“guess pizza’s on me next time then,” you said and he looked up at you with unimpressed eyes.

“you’re meant to say my team will pull through, babes. win at the last second,” he huffed.

“i don’t like to lie to you,” you simpered sarcastically. you nudged him playfully when he rolled his eyes.

he looked at you then, your glistening eyes and teasing smile, and leant down for a soft kiss, his tongue making an eager appearance but barely brushing against your lips before he was pulling back.

he hovered close and you giggled quietly, cut off when he dipped back in, firmer this time. you kissed him back just as encouraging, held him close by the shoulders and licked into his mouth before he got the chance to tease.

you didn’t know how long you sat there for, separating for quick moments to catch your breath before going back for more, magnetised and desperate to be close.

when you finally took a minute to break free, breathless and giddy, you gained the courage to joke with him. “so what are we?” you asked the cliche dreaded question with a put on voice and an exaggerated expression. you broke after a moment and snorted a soft laugh.

kyle however had frozen. “uh, friends still?”

you paused in turn, surprised even if you were only originally kidding. you weren’t expecting to be anything right now, but the term friends didn’t sit right with you after that kind of kiss either. you frowned and your hands dropped from his shoulders. “what?”

kyle cleared his throat, growing a little cagey and defensive.

“i’m not looking for anything, you know? but this is fun, babes. it could be more fun even.” he gestured between you.

“oh. i don’t… kiss my friends like that.” you shook your head softly, but then moved to hold his hand. “not that im judging, but i mean, i thought you liked me?”

“i do,” he nodded. his sweet eyes were genuine.

“but you don’t even want to try dating me?”

he sighed, jaw growing tense as he shook his head. he pulled his hand free from yours and ran it anxiously over his hair.

“i don’t like you like that,” he admitted softly, hesitantly, eyes guarded.

“oh,” you said, hurt. you pulled your hands close in your lap and bit the inside of your cheek. “ok. you just like me for sex.”

“i like you as a close friend,” he corrected firmly. “and yeah i think you’re very sexy and beautiful and i’d enjoy having sex with you, but that’s secondary.”

you felt your reflexive upset start to fade as you listened to him properly and you nodded. “i’m not built for casual i think, ky,” you said with a strained smile.

he nodded.

“not everyone is, it’s ok.” he sat back to give you both room. “are we ok though?”

you nodded immediately. it wasn’t his fault you were sensitive to rejection and the topic of sex that usually came hand in hand with it; scorned as you were by one too many previous partners that didn’t stay interested once you set your boundaries.

“yeah! it’s just— it’s funny really, because i’m literally like wired to not be into what 90% of casual is. i’m ace.” you felt the need to explain. might as well tell him since you’d already kissed the guy.

his eyes brightened. “you’re asexual?”

“…yeah, you know what that means?” you felt your shoulders start to relax.

he nodded. “i’m aromantic.”

“oh!” you started to huff a laugh. “fucking hell, that makes sense. ok, so we’re like two sides of the same coin then.”

he smiled down at you once more, his body relaxing and his arm finding its way to the back of your seat again. “looks like. what’re the odds, eh?”

you snorted. “jeez, it really wouldn’t have worked out. i would’ve been way too needy for affection for you, and i doubt you’d be happy with only getting your dick sucked every tuesday.”

he frowned, offended. “i like affection.” the hand over your shoulder tugged on your earlobe as if to prove it.

“shit, sorry i was just basing it off of the other aro people i’ve met before. i didn’t want to assume but i did exactly fucking that, put you in a box.” you winced.

“oi, apology accepted so stop beating yourself up, babes,” he knocked your shoulders together before turning to face you head on. “seriously, stop. i’m into that sort of thing and you won’t want to take care of it.”

you sputtered a deep laugh and slapped his chest as he grinned down at you.

“so…” he said after your laughter slowed down and silence took over. you looked up to see him pouting. “you’re saying you don’t want to keep kissing?”

you shrugged, reticent. “i still don’t kiss my friends like that.”

he nodded, grabbed his drink and chugged the last gulp back.

“and what if we weren’t friends?”

“but you just said you don’t like dating,” you said. “or like implied it.”

“and you don’t like sex, but you’d be willing to try sucking my dick every tuesday,” he joked, but you saw the serious look in his eye. “it doesn’t have to be dating or like— we can make it what we want. our rules for what we’d like from our relationship.”

you stared at him, speechless.

“so we wouldn’t be dating, but we’d be together?”

he nodded shyly. “if you wanted to try it.”

you pulled out your phone and searched on google ‘queer platonic relationship’.

“like this?” you tilted the screen so he didn’t have to lean so far into your shoulder, but he didn’t move away.

“sure, if the label helps.”

“i do like labels,” you mumbled under your breath. he smiled at you fondly. a thought occurred to you and you nervously bit at your fingernails before looking at him. “would we be exclusive?”

he thought for a moment. “is that what you’d want?”

you nodded. “i think so. at first at least.”

“then yeah, we could try that. if it works then great, if it doesn’t then we let the other know,” he said. he lifted your hand to wrap your pinkies together. “no holding shit in, babes. i know how you get.”

“fuck you, you’re just as avoidant,” you said but shook your hand lightly to indicate that you agreed. “so… we wouldn’t celebrate valentine’s day, but you would come do my weekly shop with me,” you said, trying to get your bearings.

“you could take me as your plus one to your friend’s wedding next month, but i won’t clap if you catch the bouquet,” he agreed.

you laughed, starting to get it. “even with the tax benefits we’d get from being married?”

he squinted at you. “ok, i’ll snap like at those pretentious poetry readings.”

you huffed and shook your head. his match had started back up and you watched the team run from one end to the other for a few quiet minutes.

“hey, we don’t have to decide now. we can talk about this more after you’ve thought about it,” he suggested lightly, watching you.

“why don’t you need to think about it?”

“i’ve done it before,” he said easily. “not with someone ace, but, you know, every relationship needs adjustments and this would be no different. we just need to feel it out as we go.”

“fuck,” you whispered. “that kinda convinced me.”

he rolled his eyes. “just have a think about it. i’ll come by yours tomorrow to grab you before gym and we can go over the details more on the way there, talk about do’s and don’ts, see if we’d actually fit or not.”

“what if we try it and it doesn’t work out?” you asked a little naively, voicing your biggest concern. you worried about the ‘what ifs’; what if you grew too attached, too jealous, or worse, tried to break your own boundaries to keep the relationship from ending.

you knew logically that you weren’t the type to get jealous, that kyle had always managed to balance his time between you and his older friends and that that wouldn’t suddenly change; you wouldnt be upset if he slept with other people given it wasn’t something you were interested in; he’d already told you he liked affection just as much as you did; and that he’d make an effort to check in with you - just as you would with him. but—

“then we’ll go back to being friends without the kissing,” he answered reassuringly, squeezing your shoulder and pulling you into his side. you sighed and snuggled close; that’s what you needed to hear. “you’re stuck with me, babe, not a lot you could do that’d have me fucking off now.”

you smiled and kissed his cheek. he practically glowed under the attention.

“ok,” you nodded. “you know i’m going to be researching everything about this deep into the night right?”

he groaned. “just relax. the internet isn’t going to have all the answers, babe. this is about us now, not anyone else.”

you hummed. “reddit might know something though.”

“jesus fucking christ…”

“hey! you’re the one who’s interested in me like sexually and uhh, emotionally? aesthetically? platonically? i don’t...”

kyle raised his eyebrows expectantly. “all but romantic.”

“right. so you know what you’re in for and you like it.”

he smiled. “i know.” his gaze flickered over your face. “do you?”

you’d been friends for years now, great friends. this would just be like a cherry on top of an already fantastic sundae.

“yeah. i do.”

“cool. then we should kiss a bit more since my team’s already lost,” he suggested and you snorted.

[cherrytea556]

For aromantic awareness week, I want to highlight issues that aromantics deal with:

Forced kisses - We live in a society where consent is not properly conducted so when someone think their owed a kiss on a date, they would either coerce or physically force it on us because of "body language."

The constant portrayal of single childless women as miserable cat ladies who actually DO desire a husband and kids (despite majority being the opposite in reality) all because they can't imagine a woman living life in her own terms, especially an aromantic woman

Aromantics get accused of being abusive or "leading someone on" for being in romantic relationships as if you need attraction to treat people with care.

Despite this, they still try to force aros to date, to "give it a try" in hopes that they feel romantic attraction so they can conform to amatonormative society.

People acting like aromanticism is due to truama or fear of romantic relationships, can't ever grasp that it is an identity someone is born with and can't ever be "cured."

The stupid relationship heirarchy we have where romance is on top and friendship is on the bottom. You have to be on the side because your friends value romance over your friendship with them, people using 'just friends' or 'more than friends,' you and your friend can't have the same ecnomic rights/benefits unless your married.

Your work will see you as less of a person with a life than your married coworker.

You realise your aromantic but have to hide it from your loved/ones you care for to not lose them or not to face shame.

People ignoring your aromanticism by ONLY referring to your asexuality.

People calling your aromanticism asexuality.

Works that's suppose to be about aromanticism such as researching amatonormativity still focuses on asexuals

Aro men being portrayed as sexist sexual perverts while Aro women get ignored in discussion because of patriarchal beliefs people held while pretending they don't uphold the patriarchy; that men wanting only sex with women is evil because that would mean he views her as an object and it's not them actually calling the women objects for choosing to engage in these sexual relationships. Oh, and women can't ever want only sexual relationships according to these people.

Aro trans women and men dealing with both transphobia AND aphobia at the same time (like last point but reverse, hence the transphobia)

Aro enbies being as ignored in conversation.

Sex work being demonised and sex work women constantly portrayed to not work there by choice as if that job isn't something an aromantic women might pursue because again, women wanting sex without romance is unbelievable to these people.

Portraying hookup culture as bad because society can't imagine consensual adults separating sex from romance. In their amatonormative world, romance and sex has to intermingle with each other. This further excludes aros who hookup culture is geared and supportive to, especially when of course, their entirely ignored in the conversation.

Aromantics constantly getting ignored both outside and inside our own community.

That is why we are queer and we have an awareness week, because so many people lack awareness of our very existence. Despite what we face in this amatonormative world, we should be proud of who we are and continue living in stride.

Happy Aromantic Awareness Week everyone.

[theswirlersisterscircus]

just looked at the d20 ao3 tag for the first time since fhsy was coming out and i was curious so i sorted by kudos and. why is the first page of fics almost entirely riz/fabian. guys. huh.

[dolokhoded]

i need to go to sleep right now but i've got zimon in the brain and i know i won't be able to sleep until i do something to get him out of the brain but i can't get up to draw right now and i sure as hell can't get up to write that would take me around 11 years so i'll just sit here and rotate him in my mind like a burnt chicken

[urlocalmagicalcat]

really long rant (happy rant) in the tags, mostly towards @synthetic-lavender /vpos

romance repulsed aros and romance favourable aros are both cool and valid but because i never see anything about us: shoutout to romance indifferent aros. romance neutral aros. aros who just couldn't care less. aros who have a conflicted relationship with romance. aros who are fine with romance in some contexts but not in others. aros who don't mind romance when it's not amatonormativity being shoved down their throats. aros who haven't yet figured out their feelings about romance. aros to whom romance is Just Something That Exists. y'all are rad as hell and it's okay not to 'pick a side'!!

[luckyladylily]

So like, transandrophobia.

To start this out, I am a trans woman, been around in the queer community for a while. I'm also bisexuality, polyamorous, disabled, and aromantic, and I think these other parts of my identity and the crap I've caught over the years for them heavily informs how I analyze something like transandrophobia. My wife is also asexual, so that plays a part in it too.

So every group of marginalized people has their own unique experiences and problems. It's more of a rule than something we've mathematically demonstrated, but as far as these things go it's ridiculously well established, and personally every time I've done even a basic dive into the issues faced by a marginalized group it's been self evident. I could easily list a dozen groups ranging from racial minorities to different kinds of disabled people to different queer identities and analyze their social issues but let's be real, this is pretty well established theory, anyone who needs me to do that is not really interacting with good faith. This is one of the big reasons we talk to people about their own experiences and groups, we cannot reasonably extrapolate the experiences of others from our own.

So like trans men and trans mascs and anyone else that falls under that umbrella has their unique experiences. The idea that we would even question this is weird to me? Like I can't even imagine the kind of evidence someone would need to present to me to change my mind, and given the pattern of the queer community to be shitty in exactly this way to people in our community, yeah that is not happening.

Therefore, we are taking it for granted that the trans men/masc/related umbrella has their own things going on like everyone else ever, and I don't understand how someone acting in good faith can try to claim otherwise unless they are young or otherwise very inexperienced with such things.

The next point of contention seems to be the name, and I gotta be real I don't care and I don't understand why other people do. I've read all sorts of arguments against the word transandrophobia and the majority of them seem to be rooted in a misunderstanding of intersectionality, and even then it's like there is such a thing where people get so mired in theory that they miss the forest for the trees.

Perhaps more important to me, getting overly worked up about something as unimportant as the precise term is... weird. Like exclusionists hating on bi and ace people weird. I remember what it was like a decade ago when exclusionists were trying to police the words of bi women, and five years ago when ace and aro people were under constant attack under the pretense that our language was harmful for some reason or other. You are going to have to work very, very, very hard to convince me that any bickering over language as it relates to transandrophobia is not just more of the same.

Next, "transandrobros hate trans femmes" and similar stuff. I've seen the callout posts and found them completely unconvincing. Again, they read a lot like the old "ace people hate lesbians!" posts I used to see. I'm not convinced that the individuals involved were a problem, I am certainly not able to extrapolate a problem to the rest of the group.

Finally, there is this idea that "maleness is not a vector for oppression" and this invalidates something about the whole transandrophobia thing, ranging from the entire concept of trans men experiencing prejudice to something about language being imprecise all the way to "This is fascist shit, omg these people are basically nazis" depending on who says it. I'm not going to touch any of that and just look at the underlying logic.

This is based off a misunderstanding of intersectionality theory. Many people think of intersectionality as defining intersecting prejudice, like a ven diagram, such that transmisogyny is the intersection of transphobia and misogyny. This is incorrect. Intersectionality defines unique prejudice experienced by people with intersecting identities. Instead of a transmisogyny as the overlap of transphobia and misogyny, imagine adding a third circle that overlaps both but also has its own areas covered by neither.

Applied to transandrophobia, even if we assume maleness is not a vector for oppression, there is no reason to assume that the intersection of maleness with a marginalized identity doesn't result in new issues. Imagine that 3 circle venn diagram that represents misogyny, transphobia, and transmisogyny. Even if you remove the misogyny circle there is still plenty of ground covered by the transmisogyny circle.

This just isn't a valid criticism. It is a pure theory approach based on a flawed reading of theory.

So in summary:

Everyone has their unique shit going on and I've seen no convincing evidence that trans men, mascs, etc. Are the exception.

I not seen any convincing argument that the word itself is bad.

I've not seen any convincing evidence that there is some epidemic of transandrophobia truthers hating and harassing trans femmes on scales higher than normal background queer infighting.

The most coherent objection to transandrophobia I've seen is categorically incorrect and based on a fundamental misunderstanding of intersectionality theory.

I would like to remind everyone at this point I am a trans woman, part of the group that is supposedly a problem for and I've just not see it at all, to the point where it is kind of weird how intensely some people are pushing this.

I'm not trying to be mean or whatever, I'm sure the distress on display here comes from a real place and real trauma, but I've yet to see anything that makes me think there is substance to the objections to transandrophobia as a concept. It feels and reads like the latest round of queer intracommunity exclusionism, and the fact that this time around I'm not one of the target identities doesn't change that for me.

[aromantic-pantyanarchy]

It's me. I'm the cis, heterosexual, aromantic man. I will never marry, I will never be married, I will grow into middle age and elder age and I will die unmarried. I will be forced to support a household of myself on only my wages alone for the rest of my life. I will be asked about women and marriage and children by my family for the rest of my life (or men, the progressive ones might say). I may not ever come out to them. I feel like I burned my coming out on something stupid. I don't want to explain it. I don't want to run them through the definitions and intricacies. I don't want the acceptance without understanding, placating me with ceased questions and poor explanations to other, drunk adults.

I like my hair to be long, I spent a year with it dyed a golden blonde with dark roots because I like the trashy party girl aesthetic. I want to dye it again with pink tips. I like painting my nails, black and blue are my favorite colors. I like wearing chokers. I also like wearing baggy jeans and ratty hoodies. I like having stubble. I like having chest hair. I like having a square jaw and broad shoulders. I wish I had a flatter stomach and a thinner profile frame. I don't know what this makes me, perhaps this is something no more GNC than Machine Gun Kelly. I think about this a lot, how queer my appearance truly is. I should think about it less. I have thought long and hard about if I could be trans or if I could be non-binary or if I could be genderqueer and the conclusion I ultimately came to is that I most enjoy being a man open to whatever self-expression I want.

I don't date, but I've thought about it. I would like to meet people, and I would like to have sex with them. But I don't want to hurt them. I fear if I explain what I am beforehand it'll scare them away. I fear if I explain after they'll feel manipulated or abused. I don't know how many people in the dating scene want what I want. I fear my own lack of experience will make me a bad lay, an embarrassing story to tell to confidants in hindsight. I fear my own virginity, a boundary to those I wish to be like. All of these fears are baseless, as I've not been able to even begin a single relationship in my life. Despite this I still heavily identify with terms like "slut" and "manwhore" and "thot" because my interests lay so deeply within casual sex, sex without great intimacy or emotion. This may be some form of stolen valor. I hope the true sluts are not too mad at me.

I made this blog several years ago because a mutual of mine reblogged memes making fun of aro and ace people, making fun of the concept of aphobia, and in addition well known aphobes. I didn't feel comfortable talking about aro stuff on my main blog, for as little as I talk about it. Living through the ace discourse of the 2016 era has largely caused me to cringe in embarrassment any time I am forced to discuss my orientation with people who aren't aro or ace themselves. I no longer follow this person. I unfollowed many people I was mutuals with from that time, most of them because they posted too often about how much they hated men and I didn't want to see that, some because our interests simply drifted too far apart, only one for explicit aphobia reasons. (Also one because they became a "both sides are bad, any vote is wasted" libertarian, but that's unrelated.)

I guess at this point I don't care deeply about what strangers on the internet think of me. If a trusted friend told me that they don't think I'm truly queer that may hurt. But I am going to continue to use the word for myself. I take up no resources. I go to events that are open to me. If an event was not open to me, I think I'd not want to go anyways. I am not a hypothetical, I am not a strawman, I am a person with lived experiences both within and exterior to the queer community. If you hate me, I will permit you to continue to do so. But ultimately, I am who I am, I cannot change these facts, and I would not choose to do so even if I could.

[ltleflrt]

Figuring out I'm on the ace spectrum was so difficult because I have always been a horny bitch. I knew what sex was at a fairly young age, because I'd asked my mom and she's one of those good parents who'll answer questions like those, and as I grew older and would ask more complex questions, her answers would evolve along with my curiosity and understanding of the world. And I remember having fantasies as young as 9 or 10 years old, even if they were hella vague and nothing close to what sex actually is lol

So as I became a teenager, and all my friends' focus turned from playing with dolls to flirting with boys, I automatically thought I was attracted to boys. And I paid more attention to Cute Boys than I did to Cute Girls, because girls were just nice to look at while boys were People To Have Crushes On. Because of heteronormativity. Looking back on it now, I know there were girls I liked to stare at just as intently as boys, although less often because I wasn't trying to pay attention. And I certainly didn't fantasize about girls because I started reading romance novels in 5th grade, so I was fantasizing about male romantic partners because that was the fiction I was consuming. I didn't even realize fantasizing about girls was possible until I was 17, and I had a few "am I a lesbian" internal crises for years because of it.

So when I did start having sex, I had A LOT OF IT with SO MANY different guys, and eventually a couple of women once I started accepting that bisexuality was real. But it was never really fulfilling. Not like my fantasies were. Not like my books were. I was slutty because sex was fun, I was horny, there were plenty of options so I kept searching for that satisfaction I was craving.

Getting married was a relief (even though it turns out I'm aro-spec too lol) because I was tired of hunting, and even if sex with my husband was meh, at least I had someone around to scratch that itch if I had it, and he didn't mind if I occasionally took care of things on my own because I'd read an especially hot scene in a romance.

I learned about asexuality in my early 20s, but I brushed it off. Couldn't be me, I'm far too horny for that. But I think that comes from the fact that everything you hear about Aces is attached to sex-repulsion or sex-indifference. I wasn't either of those things. I was horny all the dang time. I was fantasizing about sex all the dang time. I figured actual sex was meh because my imagination was so vivid that real life could never match up. Which could be true to an extent, but I think not as much as popular opinion would have us believe. If fantasy was really that much better for everyone, then I think we'd have less incels and unplanned pregnancies than we do.

In my 30s I finally saw people talking about The Spectrum, and I started examining my past, and I figured out I wasn't really attracted to anyone I had sex with. I do occasionally find someone attractive; there are men and women and enbies who make my skin feel tight and give me a little wave of lightheadedness lol... but it's always always the fantasy that gets me really going. If given the opportunity I wouldn't have sex with any of those people. Thank you, but no thank you, I'd rather just imagine it than physically participate in the act with them.

(Ok I might go down on them, but that's less about wanting sex, and more about being able to add them to my Tally. Hell yeah I want to brag about making *insert hot person* have an orgasm. There's PRIDE in that kind of accomplishment lol)

I have a lot of respect for aces that are not horny. I understand it even if I don't share the sentiment. And I feel like most of them understand me even if they don't share the sentiment. There's a solidarity between us.

Until I go into a fandom tag for a character that the aces have glommed onto because they're canonically ace or headcanoned as ace. Good lord, the non-horny aces can turn into downright vicious bastards if a horny ace sexualizes their blorbo.

This post is for them.

Horny aces exist. Please look up "autochorissexual, lithosexual, and aegosexual."

Refer to those definitions in regards to romantic attraction as well as sexual attraction.

Some aces may not fall into one of those definitions, because asexuality is a spectrum, but they may still be horny.

Horny aces are not disrespecting you by enjoying being horny on main. We promise we'll wash the stickiness off our hands before we hold your hands in queer solidarity.

And most importantly: Your blorbo is fictional and does not need to be defended from icky sexuality. They exist in an infinite multiverse, so your blorbo and my blorbo are not the same, even if they appear to be on the surface.

AND:

This post is also for the people who are confused about themselves because they're horny but don't actually feel attraction. You're not crazy, you're not wishy washy, you're not "waiting for the right person to come along" (unless you are, in which case I hope you find them). You're just a thin strip of color on a massive rainbow that holds more unique shades than anyone can perceive at a glance.

You're valid. You're one of us too.

And don't be mean to the non-horny aces. Tag your smut so they can avoid it. (But actually so I can find it lol)

[mikeru-funzies]

THERES SO MUCH I WABT TO SAY ABOUT THIS /POS

rant in the tags

nevermind I reached the tag limit. sigh. ok well there’s more I could say but in conclusion GOOD I LIKE THIS AU👍👍

Overdue info dump/reference sheet on my stupid fartsy pantsy lotf au (I call it ‘Lord of the Flies if William Golding Locked the Fuck in’ or, ‘Locked In Au’ for short 🤗) please be nice to me

Misc infodump that’s more to do with world building/designs ⬇️

Designs:

Not everything is particularly “set in stone”, these are kinda rough designs I’ve been working on. They might change in the future- might not. But that’s okay! I tried to make them distinct and more realistic, unfortunately my art style comes from drawing anime characters all my life so that didn’t really work out. Please think that Jack is ugly… my friend says that I made everyone conventionally attractive and I did not mean to- please think Maurice and Jack are ugly I’m begging. Also I’m aware Piggy is a bit thinner than he’s meant to be… I’m working on it. Hopefully the more I draw him, the more weight accurate he’ll be.

Also I’m keeping the heights in inches. Fuck you, I love my country 🇲🇾🇲🇾🇲🇾🇲🇾🇲🇾🇲🇾🦅🦅🦅🦅💥💥💥💥

World Building:

This is an au where their little plane didn’t crash and they took a trip to America for a choir show! Other kids besides the choir got to go on for good behavior/good grades. That’s where they all met and they all became friends :3 I am very boring, and enjoy slices of lives. I only wish for them to have a simple life living in late 1950s Britain and going to boarding school with each other.

I’ll post more about them, if you have any questions please use my ask box! I love looking through it

Bye bye

[taliesin-the-bored]

Tag game: tag nine people you’d like to know better.

Tagged by: @oneshoulderangel (Thank you for tagging me!)

Last song: At the moment, I have "Losing Your Memory" by Alan Star stuck in my head, which I suppose makes it my current song, not my last song. Hm. I get songs stuck in my head very easily, but the last one I had there for a significant amount of time was a mashup of different language versions of "Les Rois du Monde" for about a week. "Lehetsz Király", the Magyar version, is probably my favorite of them. It's worth a listen.

Currently watching: Normally, the answer would be "random mostly terrible old movies/shows" or "nothing much", but I currently have a hyperfixation on the musical Roméo et Juliette and have been watching it in multiple languages. (Thus, the song).

Three ships: This is hard. Maybe as a result of being on the ace and aro spectrums, I'm more likely to care about which characters are interacting than whether it's romantic or platonic. Here goes:

Kedivere/Bedikay. It can be romantic, platonic, or queerplatonic, but whichever way, I'm here for it. I probably spend too much time thinking about how in Cullwch and Olwen, when Cai gets mad at Arthur and marches out, Bedwyr stays behind, keeps acting like nothing's happened, and isn't the one to avenge Cai's death. The feeling of betrayal on both sides has a lot of unexplored potential. And the version where Bedivere dies and Kay fights to bring his body back safely while mortally wounded himself... And the version where Bedivere survives Camlann and Kay isn't said to fight in it, so they might be left together after their world has fallen apart...

Platonically or queerplatonically, Galahad and the Grail Heroine. I really like the tragic Grail Quest friendships, but I like theirs most, maybe because there's something weird and otherworldly about them both. I like it when characters are strange and endearing and doomed by the narrative.

Ever since reading John Matthews' retelling, which I read before the original, I've had a soft spot for Caradoc and Guinier. The Story of Caradoc is very disturbing, and I have some major qualms with Caradoc over a detail Matthews cut out, but all the same, there's a reason these two have the best track record with magical fidelity tests. Each of them would go to the ends of the earth for the other, and together, they're stronger than any curse.

Favorite Color: Blue, particularly royal blue and some teals.

Currently consuming: Black licorice with chocolate.

First ship: This is a hard one, since through elementary and most of middle school, I tended to go along with whatever I thought the author's intentions were and was more likely to unship something. The first non-endgame ship I got invested in was Sonya/Nikolai in War and Peace. I didn't like Nikolai, but Sonya did, and she was my favorite character, so I wanted her to be happy. The first non-canon couple I thought was meant to be together was also in War and Peace: Marya Bolkonskaya and Julie Karagina. My eighth grade self did not think their letters could be interpreted platonically. I still don't.

Last movie: If the musical doesn't count, the last movie I watched was Quest for Camelot, which was awful. Though not Robot Monster-level bad, Robot Monster has an elegance to its simplicity which Quest for Camelot lacks.

Currently working on: Various fics, most of them Arthuriana or CotRK-related (I am woefully behind on the Badfic Bingo), and (theoretically) an epic-style poem, though I haven't gotten much of it written for quite a while now.

Tagging: @gawrkin, @emperorcandy, @wildbasil, @gorewound, @knightsofsomethingorother, @ladyminaofcamelot, @tasosotaso, @amashelle, @gingersnaptaff (I have no idea who's been tagged so far, apart from the people on @oneshoulderangel's post, so I apologize for any multi-tags)

[papercranesandpride]

I've never actually talked about why I identify as loveless, have I? I want to do that. I think my experience with it is interesting.

A lot of time lovelessness is paired with aromanticism and aplatonicism, and that's interesting because while I am both, it isn't about either of them for me. It's really just a consequence of my schizophrenia. I have pretty much always been apl and aro, but I definitely used to feel love.

I had a pretty sudden psychotic break. It dulled all my feelings pretty much immediately. For a while there, they were pretty much gone, and they're still significantly less strong. That includes love. I did used to feel love. And then suddenly, I didn't.

I panicked a lot. A lot, a lot. I cried about it. For a while I only sent people orange heart emoji to signify the lack of real love. The only way I eventually got past it was by concluding that I did love other people. Clearly I did. I continued talking to them. I did things for them. I maintained relationships with them. I worried about them. Obviously if I did all of that, I still loved them. All of that is love. Love is a choice. It's a continuous action. It isn't just a feeling.

Except that's bullshit. It took me years to realize, but it is. Why did I need to feel love in the first place? Why was love something I needed to have? It's just a feeling. It's one thing that a person can experience. Nothing more and nothing less. Yes, it means a lot to a lot of people. That's great for them. So do football, and Star Wars, and Jesus, and Disney. None of those are mandatory, though. None of them are claimed to be universal across the human experience. No one says that being a fan of any of them is what makes you a good person. If you woke up one day and suddenly stopped caring about any of those things, the sudden change would definitely alarm you, but you wouldn't need to find a way to like them again. You'd be okay without them. The same should be true of love.

Because you know what? I used to feel love. And for about five years now, I pretty much don't. It really hasn't made a difference. A lot has changed in my life. Some things are better. Some are worse. I've certainly discovered a hell of a lot about myself that I didn't know when I was 16. But if I got love back? I don't think it wouldn't improve or worsen any of it. I wouldn't mind feeling love again. It wouldn't cause any problems. If tomorrow I started feeling it again, it'd be weird as hell, but I wouldn't be upset. But I don't particularly want it, either. I'm used to living this way. Having an additional feeling seems unnecessary.

There's nothing wrong with not feeling love. Period. End of story. Whether you demonstrate any kind of devotation or caring towards other people or not. Whether you still have friends, family, and lovers or not. Whether you can pass as someone who does feel love or not. It's just a different experience. That's all. Deciding that any one experience is the one that counts, that matters, that is universal and makes us human, is pointless and ridiculous. We all experience and define and feel things differently and that's the entire point.

That's why I don't use that word anymore, even for the handful of people who I do genuinely still feel something warm and fuzzy for (pretty much just family — my sister, my brother, my grandfather, some aunts and uncles). I'm still not over how fucked up it was that I needed to make up a way that I did love all the other people in my life when I just didn't, just to feel like I was a complete person. That's bullshit. I don't like it. And as a result, I reject the entire concept. I don't need it. It isn't my experience. It isn't useful to me. I don't love. That's fine, actually.

(Also please don't have your takeaway from this be "schizophrenics don't feel love." I've never heard another schizophrenic have this outlook on love. Love is experienced and defined in different ways by different people, and schizophrenia manifests differently for everyone. This is just about me.)

[madamefeu]

Hi! Here’s what your favorite Hazbin Hotel ship says about you!

Radiodust: You're an old-timer who's been around since the pilot. One off-handed joke about Angel Dust wanting to suck Alastor's dick was all it took for you to start shipping them. You always ship the two most attractive male characters together in your fandoms, even if they have no real connection

Huskerdust: I’m not going to touch this one because I’ll probably get death threats if I don’t tell the Huskerdust fandom exactly what they want to hear

Radiorose: Hello, aro-ace community! You love this because they're the closet thing to a canon queerplatonic couple that currently exists in mainstream media, and as a fellow aro-ace, I’m in the exact same boat

Chaggie: You like the idea of forbidden love, but you're not interested in handling all of the social/political ramifications of it, and would prefer to conveniently gloss over both of those things just like in the show. This ship has the flavor profile of vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips, and so does your personality

Lucifer/Lilith: You only want one thing in this life, and that is for a powerful woman to step on your neck. You are a bottom to end all bottoms

Radioapple: Daddy kink, but in a voyeuristic way. You like watching two dads doing each other, but there is no way you’d ever let them touch you, no, all you want is to watch them go at it

Rosiemilla: Mommy kink, but in a voyeuristic way

Radiohusk: Oh, you would let a man do unspeakable things to you if he was hot enough. You read dark romances and you want a dark romance to happen to you in real life

Cherrisnake: You are absolutely terrible at handling your feelings for everyone you've ever crushed on, and will try to convince yourself that you hate the object of your affections because you lack the courage needed to make a move on them. It would take a life or death situation for you to tell your crush how you really feel about them, and even then you'd be more afraid of telling them than of dying

Guitarspear: Hello, Adam simps! You binge-read workplace romances and you fantasise about dating your boss even though he's a dick 90% of the time. Strangely, the fact that he's a dick makes you even more attracted to him

Staticmoth: Your ideal ship is two horrible people who deserve each other. You want what they have, but at the same time you don't

Zestmilla: Your preferred aesthetic is old married couple core, and I respect that. You binge-read found family fics on AO3, and your favorite tag is hurt/comfort

Radiostatic: You love the idea of someone being obsessed with you when you have no interest in them. You like to laugh at their, quite frankly, pathetic attempts to get you to notice them, and you're waiting for the day when the penny will drop and they'll realise that they are nothing to you, and never will be

Arackpentious: You have never cared about canon, and you don't intend to start now. You probably simp for Sir Pentious and use Arackniss as a self-insert. We know barely any canon information about him, so it's easy for you to project yourself onto him so that you can get doubly-dicked down by the Victorian snake man

Charlastor: You're all about the aesthetic. You got into this ship because there's an abundance of gorgeous fanart for it, even if there's no chance of them being together in canon. You don't care about that, however, because they look beautiful together and that's all that matters to you

Radiomimzy: You wish that the old canon of Mimzy being Alastor's girlfriend was still canon

Royalhalo: You hate Vaggie and you think that Charlie deserves better than her, and who better than the sugary sweet angel who was the first to hear Charlie out and argue in her favor when she found out the truth about the exterminations?

Cherridust: You are aggressively heterosexual and you believe that it is impossible for a man and a woman to be friends without one or both secretly harboring feelings for the other. You binge-read friends to lovers fics on Wattpad, and if a man so much as says hi to a woman, you will ship them

Cherrimoth: You like enemies to lovers, but in a bitch eating crackers kind of way. You either have a crush on someone that you love to hate from afar, or you want to fall in love with someone who hates you from afar

[atwas-gaming]

I've had a scenario in mind for a while now about what it would take for Sonic to finally own up to his feelings about Amy. And I think what it would take is...

Shadow.

Well, just plain jealousy and a fear of losing Amy before he even has her. But Shadow would be the best one to instigate it.

First, some headcanons about how they behave romantically:

Amy's maturing and spreading her wings. She's not moving on from Sonic, not really, but it's possible that she's starting to notice other guys. There's some hints in the Twitter takeovers that she may be developing some small interest in Shadow.

Sonic is clearly interested in Amy, and if you pay attention, he has been for a long time. What he's not interested in is marriage- at least, not yet. And Amy is clearly wifey material- she cooks, she takes care of people, she has a caring nature, she's protective, and she's extremely loyal. She's not someone you can use for a one-night stand, you take all of her or you risk shattering her into pieces. She's Sonic's friend, no matter what else he may feel about her, so he avoids any romantic interaction because he doesn't want to hurt his friend.

Meanwhile, Shadow is... not aro-ace, per se, I don't know what you'd call him. He can see that Amy is attractive, but so is Rouge, and Shadow has no interest in Rouge. He just isn't interested in the physical side of romance.

What I think it would take to get Shadow's attention is something deeper, an emotional or spiritual connection.

So here's the Sonamy/Shadamy love triangle scenario that I came up with:

As Amy ages, she feels her desire for male companionship growing stronger. Sonic takes little notice of it, but it doesn't escape Shadow's attention.

Somehow or other, Shadow and Amy end up alone together, probably on a mission or something. I haven't figured out the exact circumstances, but they're together for quite a while. Amy loves to talk to people and get to know them, and Shadow has a soft spot for her, so she's able to get him to talk to her about things that he's probably never told anyone before. And he knows she won't tell anyone about them, either, so he feels safe telling her.

At some point, Shadow realizes, she's done it. She's broken through his barriers, and at the same time, she's calmed the storm of emotions that he's had swirling inside him for 50-odd years. He hasn't felt such peace since... no, not even then. This is something else. He's never felt this way before, and he doesn't have the words to describe it, but he's fallen head over heels for her.

This is why he never lets his guard down, even around the people he trusts most. Because if he lets them in, even a little bit, he might let them in too far. ("Can you see all of me, walk into my mystery, step inside and hold on for dear life.")

He loses control of himself and kisses Amy.

And when he lets go, he instantly hates himself, he starts throwing his barriers back up, because... she's crying. She's crying because she liked it, and she wants more of it, but she's still so desperately in love with Sonic, and she's starting to think she'll never get it from him, so she'll accept affection from just about any man, and it's not like Shadow's unattractive, and, and, and...

So Shadow's raw and open and hurting, he knew before he said or did anything that he was going down a dangerous path, but talking to Amy felt so good he didn't want to stop. And he wants to erase what just happened like it never did. But now he has to be the one to comfort Amy, because this was his fault, Amy was just being the kind and compassionate person she always was and Shadow was an idiot for letting it get to him and making more of it than what it was and losing control. So he has to keep his barriers down for just a moment longer, just long enough to hold Amy and tell her it's not her fault, until her tears finally stop.

It leaves Shadow burning with rage, and as soon as he can, he forcefully confronts Sonic (I imagine Shadow slamming Sonic against a wall or a tree and shouting in his face 😝) and basically tells him, "Amy needs attention from a man, she wants that man to be you, but if you can't grow up and do what it takes, then I'll be more than glad to take your place."

Which scares Sonic good and proper. It's bad enough to think that he could lose Amy, anyway, but to lose her to that faker??? And it finally makes him go to Amy and (very, very awkwardly) ask her to be his girlfriend. And... I'll let y'all imagine the rest.

As for Shadow... he, quite understandably, becomes somewhat aloof towards both Sonic and Amy for a long time after that.

But Shadow's immortal, right? And there's other Amy's in the world. He doesn't have to be alone forever.

Oh, and as for why Shadow would confront Sonic instead of just taking Amy for himself: because he respects both Amy and, especially, himself far too much to do that. He knows good and well she will never be able to fully commit to anyone else as long as Sonic is still an option. If Shadow was to start dating her, she'd go along with it, but it would become a power play between him and Sonic to try to "win" Amy's affections. Shadow has no issues with fighting Sonic over just about anything, but when it comes to his own feelings, he won't stoop that low, and he's not about to hurt himself by playing such a game. I also don't think he would view Amy as "a prize to be won."

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i respect everyone's headcanons 10000% but i will not hesitate to block anyone who says "teruhashi's crush on saiki is obviously comphet, shes just a lesbian"

this is literally just a really common thing people in fandoms do when a female love interest they dont like or care about gets in the way of what they personally want for the male character they like (they want him, they ship him with a guy, they hc him as gay or aroace, etc.) and its so obvious when you guys are just using lesbians as a scapegoat for you to push female characters to the side in a more "progressive" looking way that wont get you called out for misogyny... you do not care about lesbians at allll 😭 i would rather my sexuality to not be used for that, thanks.

but anyway, teruhashi gets this the absolute WORST because people misunderstand her so badly and like to intentionally ignore her character development... and as much as i dont like it (as in almost her whole character revolving around a boy), pretty much ALL her development has to do with her crush on saiki. so, going "she doesnt actually like him" when you know damn well that this is directly addressed in the manga as untrue, youre just disregarding almost her entire character 🤷🏻‍♀️ she does have depth without him, but really without him and her true feelings for him, her canon self becomes much more,,, tragic? idk. i guess that goes more for people who claim she doesnt care about him or doesnt even know him than just "her feelings for him are platonic" though.

i really dont care at all if people dont ship them, but writing off her feelings for him just so you can push her aside and/or argue that your headcanons are "more canon" is so fucking unbelievably stupid. just let it be one-sided if you dont ship them?

on the other hand, i dont so much care when its a qpr thing, because at least then you acknowledge that her feelings for saiki are valid, just that you like to see them in a different way, which is cool. if you insist on teruhashi being a lesbian, theres so much aro spectrum or gendery fuckery that you could play around with and you just. dont? because youd rather just ignore her whole character?? lame and cowardly.

[loveless-arobee]

If you, when you ask for advise on how to write AroAllo characters, use wording that implies you believe non-romantic sexual relationships are "strange" or would make a character appear "selfish" or "less human" or anything like that, or if you say that non-romantic sexual relationships will be read as the participants "using each others bodies" without caring for one another, even if you specify that you don't actually believe that and this is what readers would think, you do have some aro-phobic and amatonormative sentiments you need to get rid off first.

Because sure, some, perhaps even a lot, of your potential readers will make those assumptions. But there's quite literally nothing you can do about other people's aro-phobia and internalized amatonormativity (especially not to the level necessary, and in a fiction book).

But as the author, you do have to ask yourself if your representation should be for the actually aromantic people who'll read your book for the representation of them, or for alloromantic people who'll need every little detail spoon-fed and then still throw a tantrum because they can't relate to an aromantic character [no, not every alloro is like this. I get that you're one off the good ones. Now continue.]

The best way to make a non-romantic sexual relationship read as natural and normal is to just write it that way. Don't dwell on it longer than you would on other types of relationships! Don't make it seem like it's something weird or abnormal that needs to be discussed over fifty pages before the plot can continue. You don't have to do anything overly complicated and make your aromantic character jump through hoops to be understood; you can just have a character refer to their sexual partner as such, or call their relationship a sexual relationship (or "fuckbuddies" and similar terms if your characters are more crude), have them call themselves aromantic, and if it fits your plot you could have a conversation between the partners in a sexual relationship to define their relationship and feelings for one another just as you would for characters in any other type of relationship, and that's it. That's all you have to do. Congrats. You wrote an allosexual aromantic character in a sexual relationship.

Of course, there can be and often is a lot more to AlloAro representation, but a lot of you all are absolutely over-complicating the issue and making it much harder on yourself to create something. Especially if it's a side-character, it's absolutely alright to keep it simple! I promise you, as long as you treat your aromantic character normally and don't other them, and listen to aromantic people when they talk about their experiences and how they want to be represented, there really isn't much you can do so horribly wrong that we'll hunt you for sport or whatever horror-imaginations you have when you think about writing the "wrong" type of aromantic character.

Yes, a bunch of alloromantic readers won't like whatever you write about aromanticism. They'll say it feels "forced" and "unnatural", but that is on them. Because a lot of people simply believe aromantic people to be "unnatural", and there is nothing you can do to change their mind. No representation will be "good enough" to make everyone stop being aro-phobic.

Don't write your aromantic representation with aro-phobes in mind. Write it for your aromantic readers. They will thank you.

Also, always remember that all aros are different, and you can't possibly represent everyone in just one or a few characters, and you shouldn't be (and aren't) expected to. Know where your characters fall on the spectrum and how their aromanticism affects them, and write that, don't try to make them something all aromantics can "identify" with. That will only cause no aromantic person to be able to relate to them.

Other than that, really just write! Of course ask questions if you have them, but please stop using aro-phobic phrases such as above to ask them.

[sainteclectic]

+ since it's aro awareness week, I'll finally unleash that rant on why the state of shipping discourse in this fandom bothers me

disclaimer that i am not saying you can't be uncomfortable with jashshipping!! I don't really like romantic shipping in this fandom either. this is just a commentary on the culture surrounding this discourse and fandom shipping in general. OK LET'S GO.

I've noticed this weird distinction people make between platonic and romantic art in regards to what gets the "jashshipping" tag added. it's also incredibly arbitrary what kinds of posts are considered "jashshipping" - is a qpr jashshipping? why not? they're in a relationship. why does it matter if it's romantic or not? why is romance the only kind of shipping seen as valid, either positively or negatively?

on a personal level, I feel this pressure to always clarify that I'm not talking about romantic pairings. qprs, close friendships and relationship anarchy in general aren't seen as jashshipping, and it feels like I need to preemptively devalue my queerplatonic ships by saying they "don't really count." I need to be careful about my work not being "too romantic" or people assume I'm "jashshipping." i just find it demeaning as a partnering aromantic person.

and this culture is why people who enjoy non-romantic pairings don't want them to be tagged as ship - because there's this implication that a ship HAS to mean romance. it shouldn't, but it still does. it would be great if we lived in a world where shipping meant any kind of relationship between two characters instead of just referring to romance, but we don't.

this is why I tag ship names without tagging it as jashshipping. because the nature of "shipping" in this fandom is always implied to be romantic in nature, which is what makes it the most taboo to discuss. so I don't tag it as jashship because that's only used for romance {or for what the fandom perceives as inherently romantic actions, which is another can of worms entirely}. but elevating a romantic ship to a higher negative standard is still placing romance above any other form of relationship. there's still a hierarchy in place.

I don't think ships as a whole {hah} need to be defined by romantic attraction. it's short for relationship, after all. to designate ships as ONLY romantic implies that romance is the only valid type of relationship. and to designate romantic ships as uniquely bad still implies romance is a unique type of bond.

{I also have an issue with the implication that dating what is essentially your headmate is selfcest by default, but that's another discussion}

TL;DR - I think the culture around what designates something as "jashshipping" should be viewed with more scrutiny. it's very amatonormative to assume pairings with any level of closeness is "jashshipping," and it implies a hierarchy of relationships even if that hierarchy is negative. jashship works as a content tag for anyone uncomfortable with romantic pairings, but to imply it's an objective judgment on what's considered romance is reductive.