#all sympathy trains

[choochooboss]

[trauma-express]

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

OH. okay so normally i dont touch discourse with a 20 ft pole, but this has been niggling at my brain tonight and i finally realized why

the people who are mad at qbbh for the memory loss and “dodging consequences” dont understand that he doesnt want to dodge consequences. Like they cant know that, they werent focused on him when he was literally feeding himself to the soul vultures and planning his eventual imprisonment and also. The Many Many Many hints he made towards suicide/sacrifice/Just Fucking Dying.

ccbbh is a subtle roleplayer, he’s been building this shit up for two whole months- it was day FIVE of the eggs going missing that he resolved to do whatever it took (hurting his friends) to get the eggs back. It was day three that he followed in dapper’s footsteps and started feeding himself to the soul vultures (and gaining a Massive headwound beneath his hood in the process- you can only see it if you go on namemc and remove the layers). He’s got impaired judgement. Even the memory issues arent a new thing- i cant remember exactly when they started, but one of the first big moments i remmeber was september 30th where he spent an hour falling into a delusional frenzy searching his base for cameras that he forgot he asked aypierre to plant.

The super murder of purgatory and the memory loss afterwards probably all feels very sudden for people who havent been following his story, but as someone who has been- all of this has been true to character. The only cheap swings he’s made have been combat-based in purgatory, and even the motive for those was built up in rp.

People are calling for consequences, but he has alrwady been experiencing self-inflicted consequences for months. The blue on his usual outfit is blood. This recent memory loss isnt a restart to get away with the atrocities - it is yet another consequence of his egg-protecting complexes and the ways he punishes himself for failing them.

he is NOT a moral character. he’s a demon hiding in plain site. he has eaten people. he has killed people. he understands the cruelty of his actions, and the consequences of them for the loved ones of his victims. but it matters when that harm is being done to his loved ones. he’ll still do it, because he will do anything for the eggs, but it matters, and that means that he has already started the process of self-inflicting those much-demanded consequences

[beltsourcookie]

the faerie kingdom episode would have been better if they added worms and moles as their npcs and not a bunch of monotone grayscale silver aesthetic

in fact, the forest/woods aesthetic isnt the problem because compared to actual cottagecore faerie aesthetic, the faerie kingdom is too incredibly 'pristine' and feels like youre in in the utensil section of the cooking aisle

devsis creating the faerie kingdom:

what the faerie kingdom should have taken inspiration from:

cookies that have heavy designs from wild berries and flowers would have been more suitable because it can build a more creative and colourful world instead and there would be endless possibilities for outfits

[roryhastoomanyfandoms]

Concept for Beyond The Spiderverse; Miles gets his shit rocked by whatever, maybe a heroic sacrifice attempt. O'Hara gets over to him first, and Miles, one (1) inch from death, sees a dark, broad figure in blue above him through the haze of pain and near-death fog, and tells who he thinks is his father that he's sorry and that he loves him.

Cue Miguel "Repressed Catholic Grieving Father Who Was Just Trying To Maim This Child" O'Hara trying to 1; cope with being a dad again, in any capacity, for even a moment, and 2; figure out if he should play along and pretend to be Jefferson, so this child can at least think he's dying in the comfort of his father's presence

[elminsterbignaturals]

i gotta be honest: i think people are meaner to mystra, duke ravengard, and mizora than they deserve. and we all know why

[kiras-monkey-bum-face]

"what about you, what do you do outside of work?" okay so there's this woman on youtube called amberlynn reid right and-

[anthropwashere]

I've gotten two letters from my mom since my aunt died last month and they've both been just. So, so aggressively manipulative. Y'all can skip this post. I'm not looking for sympathy likes/replies. I just need a good rant and sometimes it does pay to yell into the Tumblr void.

Still—still!—she insists I have never told her why I refuse to speak to her anymore. She has the receipts on this, going all the way back over a decade ago to my early 20s when I conceded to communicate to her solely through e-mails. That avenue of communication ended with me blocking her pretty much everywhere online after she called me a sociopathic bitch on a public platform family, friends, and coworkers followed me on. Very cool of her, very mature.

(If memory serves she was arrested shortly thereafter. Pity it wasn't for something more serious than, jeez, I can't be assed to remember. Something to do with her driver's license? I know she asked me for a couple grand about it and cussed me out when I told her my baby Airman ass literally did not have the money even if I were inclined to help her.)

Every single letter she sends me includes a brief tangent about how she's been watching YouTube videos about estranged families (both sides! she always includes the both sides!). She always says she wants to understand but she can't because I've never told her why I refuse to talk to her anymore.

How many phonecalls, how many HOURS, have I wasted crying in rage and despair as I try to tell her all the ways she hurt me, physically and emotionally and mentally, before I realized she'd never accept it? That she would always, always try to gaslight me like this? That she'd give me that guileless, wide-eyed and furrowed brow anxious stare and that high, plaintive goddamn voice. That she'd convince me time and time and time and time again that maybe, maybe I'm overreacting?

This most recent letter was a real treat. She went out of her way to say she wasn't trying to guilt trip me, really, but she's JUST lost both her sisters AND her parents in the last year and she's terrified she might die soon next so WHY won't her ONLY DAUGHTER just TALK to her? 😭

So, firstly. I can only speak for myself and my interpretations of what my extended family will feel, but I'm pretty goddamn sure we're all gonna CHEER when she finally fucking kicks the bucket. Ain't nobody gonna miss her when she croaks. Even if her sisters outlived her that'd be the same. My only complaint when she does die is that I'm gonna insist on paying for all of the funerary expenses because she's already leeched too goddamn much from the rest of the family. No way is anyone gonna pay for her bullshit one last time, even if that means paying folks back with interest after I fly back to California. And you can be sure I'm gonna go out of my way to take the cheapest route possible at every opportunity out of spite. This woman doesn't deserve better than the bare minimum. That's all she's ever given everyone else after all.

Secondly, I will concede the fact that yes, she's lost both her sisters in the last year, not even a full year apart from each other. And that sucks! It's extremely fucking sad! My aunts raised me as much as she did, and they both sure as hell paid for more of my childhood needs than she ever did. I was able to afford to go to my younger aunt's funeral last year, but even with the surprise disability backpay I got this year I've been dealing with a lot of owning-a-100+-year-old house expenses (such as replacing the entire goddamn original roof) this year, so I genuinely couldn't make the trip for my older aunt's funeral. Two family members offered to pay for my flight and I just couldn't accept that kindness because I grew up watching my mom take and take and take and take from the family.

THIRDLY HOWEVER.

Her mom, my maternal grandma, died TWENTY YEARS AGO. Her dad, my maternal grandpa, died THIRTY YEARS AGO. And she hated her parents! She fucking loathed them! I spent more of my childhood being her psychologist instead of her goddamn child; ALL I HEARD ABOUT was how much she hated and resented her parents. This is THE first time I've heard her trot them out since I lived with her back in the 00s, and it might damn well be the first halfway-positive mention of them since long before that? This is so transparent an act I can't help but be insulted that she'd think I'd take the bait? Using the LITERAL DEATHS of others to try to goad me into talking to her?

Like. Jesus. Last year at my younger aunt's funeral just about every single member of the California-centric family pulled me aside to ask if my mom was being too much. My aunt's CHILDREN, damn near non-functional with grief, asked if I needed help handling my mom. And there were a couple occasions where I damn near admitted yeah! She's being too much! She won't stop fucking touching me! She won't stop making her sister's death about herself! And here she is, a year later, doing the same goddamn thing again with her other sister's death!

She's a manipulative, gaslighting abuser who refuses to grow up and accept responsibility and/or repercussions for her actions despite being in her late-60s. She gleefully twists the knife into whoever she can get her hands on and acts SO distraught and SO betrayed when people find fault with her actions and behavior. I don't know a single person who knows her to like her anymore once she's shown her true colors, and somehow she's still convinced she isn't the problem.

What a waste. What a fucking waste.

[kelpiemomma]

work brainworms activated

Still rolling why Akari might've been yoinked in my head (mistaken for Dawn? From a wealthy family they ran away from? Clones of former hisuians that escaped and are wanted? Upset a stalker on the subway?) but Rei was with her when it happened since they live together. Akari manages to get Rei to escape with their pikachus (they both have pikachus. Twin pikachus? Maybe.) but gets grabbed as a result. Rei is obviously a wreck and tries to chase after whoever took his twin, but they vanish like dust in the wind and he's left standing in the middle of the street with two upset, sparking mice. He manages to eventually get to the authorities to report her abduction and their home turns into a crime scene. He has to stay at a hotel and he's so dumbstruck by the night that he passes out.

Neither of the younger twins show up in the morning which throws the whole gear station groove off. They've called out sick before, sometimes one and sometimes both, and they've run late, but they've never just not shown up. And never neither of them completely ghosting the station. Everybody is concerned, especially when their phones can't be reached, so someone from the station cuts early to go check on them. And then they call Ingo or Emmet frantic bc the twins' home is a crime scene??? What if they're dead???

Emmet starts blowin up Akari and reis phones while he and Ingo run out bc holy shit the babies??? The kids??? The CRIME SCENE??? They're nearly at the listed residence when Rei picks up, groggy as fuck and voice hoarse. Emmet starts demanding to know what happened and Rei just breaks down into tears, explaining that the home had been broken into the day before and Akari had been taken, had pushed him out of the way so he'd escaped. He's practically hysterical as he goes over it again until Emmet promises that they'll come pick him up and he can stay with him or ingo so he's not alone. Ingo sends a message to the group chat that Akari's been kidnapped and everyone is demanding to know WHAT THE FUCK??? WHAT THE FUCK!!!

Rei gets picked up by the twins and it's weird for all involved that there is one set of twins and not the other. There's a weird empty space by Rei's side even though both shoulders hold a Pikachu. Ingo & Emmet silently guide him out, they go and pick up some of his stuff (clothes, cause he's still in his PJs, tooth brush & tooth paste, etc) and they go to the apartment where Ingo and Emmet live. They don't technically live Together, but their rooms are right next door to each other with a connecting door. They are, after all, Grown Ass Adults who need their own space as much as they're a set. Ingo is the only one with a spare room so Rei settles his stuff there, and then he crashes again while the twins try to figure out what they're going to do (bc like hell are they going to let this go unchecked and let the authorities handle it on their own??? Fuck no, that's their family, their employee, their kid. They're gonna get her back.)

[lutenants]

one day i will explain further about lutes self approval as a 'weapon' as opposed to a human.

[aeide-thea]

dipping my toe into fandom discourse here, which is never a great idea, but—i really am baffled by the contingent of fans who apparently want AO3 to not only denounce but ban AI-generated works, as if there were any reliable way to distinguish between mediocre writing produced by a human and mediocre writing produced by an AI…?

[humanmorph]

one of the worse things of doing something stupid and experiencing consequences is warding off sympathy people might give you like no this wasn't unlucky it was on me. And I don't want to talk about how stupid it was.

[northwest-by-a-train]

The amazing thing is not that the stomach churns, it's that it doesn't churn more often

[genderdotcom]

actually i think i hit the jackpot naming my new courier nero. bc like historical thematic elements, fiddling while rome burned -> courier is a musician, but also N rotates and turns into Z -> takes the name zero when deserting the legion- a number not included in roman numerals as they weren't used for calculation (zero could only be represented on an abacus). he becomes something the romans don't have

[skopostheorie]

Now of course the natural response to this would be "well maybe you would have friends if you stopped being so religious for your uni years and stopped blogging about, uhm, A Franco Belgian Comic and Studying in your spare time". I don't exactly have a killer response to that. Maybe that;s right idk. I don't like admitting how much this bothers me because we've hit the age where if you don't have friends it probably is your fault like, in school it's different but once you're out of there it's pretty rare for everyone to go off you unless you're doing something wrong. So I suppose I am admitting failure here. Haha

[deus-ex-mona]

just me? ✨ok✨