#all stuff that I'm finding difficult so it's taking forever lol

[running-in-the-dark]

random thought I had while cleaning/tidying up: I think maybe I tend to get very frustrated and feel like I haven't accomplished anything while doing this because I can't remember what the room(s) actually looked like before. I have aphantasia, I don't have visual memory basically, so while I'm vaguely aware that it was worse before, that doesn't really mean anything? like, I see that there's still things lying around or whatever, and it feels like nothing has changed at all. when that's objectively not true.

maybe I should start taking pictures before I get started, that might help.

[jupiter-letters]

Dating Clark Kent would include:

Fem!Reader or GN!Reader TW: None

A/N: Felt like writing for clark lately, I'm down horrifically for this man. This can be for any incarnation of Superman but I based it off the comics and my adventures with superman

It all started with a random encounter at the library while he was researching an old historical site in Metropolis(aka busy work for the new guy). He saw you with a couple of books in your hand, eyes browsing the shelves. 

He worked up the nerve to start a conversation with you and actually managed to get your number. He left the library with butterflies in his stomach and an angry call from Perry asking his whereabouts. 

A good starter date for him was obviously coffee. He spends hours deciding where to meet up with you, trying to find reasonably priced coffee with a good atmosphere. He tries to come up with a bunch of different outfit combinations, making the attempt to look nice but not too dressed up. This proved difficult since his wardrobe is 90% dress shirts and slacks, he’s still gotta look casual. Clark is such an overthinker, he just wants things to go well ; v; 

Of course the date goes well cause he’s so perfectly himself and he charms you so naturally. He’s surprised when you ask to see him again, the whole time he was sweating bullets praying you didn’t notice. After that the second, third, and fourth date all are perfect. Well not perfect but the time spent together makes up for the hiccups. 

Now let’s get into the nitty-gritty: early days of dating Clark still tries to be perfect, he hasn’t become totally comfortable with you, yet ;)  I think for him he wants to wow his partner in the early stages, he feels like trying to get a city slicker like you he has to bring his A-game. 

When he sees you he tries to bring you little trinkets and flowers, he likes to spoil you every now and again. 

Touching! He likes to be touching you when you’re near, a hand on your waist, brushing his pinky against your hand, pressing his knee next to yours when you’re sitting together. His love language is acts of service, words of affirmation and physical touch. He loves doing things for the people close to him. This includes: Taking out your trash, watering your plants, making your bed, putting a pot of coffee on in the morning, and fixing any holes in your clothes. 

Now when you're really in it with him he tells you about the Superman stuff, he feels like he can trust you but there’s still the risk of you knowing that’ll get you hurt. He doesn’t underestimate your autonomy but there are very powerful forces out there that want him gone, and you are very precious to him. 

Once you can convince him that you are willing to accept the risks and tell him how much you care about him, the last of the walls come down. You’re stuck with him forever now and he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

When it’s a quiet summer afternoon he’ll take you flying just before sunset, he’ll go right above the clouds so you can see what he gets to see. However if you’re afraid of heights he won’t force you lol. He’ll make sure you’re properly dressed when he takes you to visit the fortress of solitude(He tries is the key phrase). You always underestimate how cold it’ll be and he has to go all the way back to metropolis to get your favorite jacket while you sit by a heater.

 Looking after him when he gets kryptonite poisoning from fighting bitch ass Lex Luthor, seeing him sweat for the first time with dark circles under his eyes. It’s more painful than what he’s feeling at that moment, and he still tries to tell you it’s not that bad. Once he’s feeling better he has to talk you down from murdering Luthor.

“Honey don’t-” “Nuh-uh call Bruce, I want a bazooka.” “You don’t need a bazooka sweetheart, I'm fine.” “No way I’m coming for his bald ass.” “Baby I’m fine, please calm down.”

Of course you’re not serious but you still want to protect him. Nobody messes with Clark and gets away with it. You and his friends will see to that, yes sir!

Thanks for reading! Lemme know what you think. Please like or reblog if you like my stuff.

[prythianpages]

ACOSM | The Night she made Azriel lose control

azriel x rhysand's sister (oc)

warnings: angst, smut or at least my attempt at it lol

summary: Valeria is sparring with Cassian and Azriel when Rhysand invites her to the gathering of the High Lords of Prythian. The night is tortorous for Azriel, who can no longer hold himself back and finally gives in to his desire.

A/N: this is an imagine among my collection that follow Rhysand's sister, Valeria. while I'm still working on them, you can find the masterlist for it here. This is my first time writing smut, which is why this took me forever to write. I even readchapter 55 of ACOMAF a couple of times again for "research purposes" lol Anyway, besides the smut, lots of stuff happen in this imagine and more ACOTAR characters make an appearance!

**

Valeria sat atop one of the training rings at the House of Wind as Noctis soared gracefully above her. In the brilliant sunlight, his dark wings glistened–a testament to his swift and powerful recovery. A radiant smile grazed her face, finding joy to see him whole and soaring once more.  

She hummed a familiar melody and Noctis was quick to catch the tune. His hauntingly beautiful song intertwined with hers. Setting aside the book Cassian had gifted her on Illyrian fighting techniques, Valeria perked up at the sound of wings beating the air.

It had been nearly half a year since the blood rite and Rhysand’s grand ball and so much had changed in that time. The news of two bastards and a half breed ascending to the title of Carynthian had sent shockwaves throughout Illyria, and perhaps even throughout most of Prythian. The revelation that both Cassian and Azriel were gifted with seven siphons each only added to the astonishment. Rhysand, too, had been gifted with siphons, though they had shattered, unable to contain his immense power.

Shortly after the grand ball, Cassian had returned to the Illyrian camp he was born, eager to reunite with his mother. Their separation had weighed heavily on his heart over the years and he had been looking forward to seeing her and taking care of her. However, when he arrived at the camp, he was met with devastating news. His mother was dead. The news had hit him like a physical blow and even more so when he found out the true nature of her death and lack of respect in burial. It left him reeling with an overwhelming grief and sorrow that morphed into anger and a thirst of revenge. With the help of Rhysand and Azriel, they took revenge on his mother’s cruel death and destroyed the village, allowing only the truly innocent to live. 

The High Lord of the Night Court did not take lightly to the actions of the three powerful Illyrian males. Valeria suspected that the remarkable power the three males held posed a potential threat to her father. In the weeks that followed, the High Lord assigned Rhysand a growing number of responsibilities as his designated heir. He offered Azriel the role of spymaster–a proposition that didn’t leave him with much room for refusal. Cassian, on the other hand, had returned to Windhaven, and swiftly climbed the ranks, now commanding a small legion of his own.

With all the changes and increased duties, it came to a surprise to Valeria that Cassian remembered the promise he had made prior to the blood rite. She had diligently studied the book he had gifted her, mastering nearly every technique within its pages. She still did so behind her father’s back. It was not an easy task as he hovered over her for the first couple of weeks after her return to the Night Court. This made it challenging to discreetly train with the Valkyries as she enjoyed doing so. 

So Valeria dedicated herself to playing the role of a dutiful daughter with the hopes that it would divert her father’s attention from her training and secrets she held. It was a difficult one as he still held resentment toward her. She immersed herself in music, spending countless hours practicing her violin despite her preference for the piano. It paid off, as her father’s interest in her began to wane and as she resumed her violin lessons, she found it increasingly easier to slip away for her secret training sessions.

“Alright, little warrior.” Cassian grinned as he touched down in front of her, his wings tucked behind him. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”

Valeria smiled back at him, her eyes searching his face. She knew the past couple of months had been challenging for him yet he always managed a smile and optimistic attitude, masking the underlying sadness and grief he carried. He was one of the strongest people she knew–both physically and mentally.

“I didn’t get to train last week since I had an audition for a violin solo, so I’m a little rusty.” Valeria confessed as she patted the dust off her leathers.

“Did you get it?”

A spark of triumph gleamed in her eyes as she replied. “Of course I did.” 

Cassian’s grin grew wider. “Well then, I guess I’ll have to push you harder this morning.”

The training grounds were bathed in the soft glow of the morning sun as Cassian and Valeria stepped onto the training ring. She looked up to him with determination in her eyes and Cassian respected her spirit as he began to wrap his hands. “Let’s practice without weapons first and focus on hand to hand combat which is about…”

“Control, balance and swift strikes.” Valeria answered, reciting an excerpt from the book word for word and wrapping her own hands to prepare for sparring.

“Yes.” Cassian nodded at her, impressed as he stepped into a defensive stance. “Watch me closely and then we’ll practice together.”

He demonstrated a sequence of moves, fluidly shifting from one stand to another, showcasing the elegance and power of combat. Valeria followed his every move, memorizing the steps.

“I know you’ve already had some training with this but let’s start with the basics again. I’m going to make a move and you try to block or evade it.”

Cassian then made the first move, a precise jab toward her shoulder. Valeria reacted quickly, dodging the blow with ease and responding with a counterpunch. Cassian deftly blocked her attack, impressed with her reflexes.

“Good.” Cassian said with another nod of approval. “Keep that focus and speed.”

They continued the training session as Noctis watched, perched on one of the punching dummies nearby, his sharp eyes on his beloved keeper. As always, Cassian was patient in training Valeria. He showed her how to anticipate her opponent’s moves, find openings in their defenses and land precise strikes. Valeria was a quick learner and with each round of practice, her confidence grew.

As they exchanged blows, Valeria saw an opportunity. Her speed and precision was nearly overwhelming, catching the seasoned Illyrian warrior by surprise for a faltering moment. Just when it seemed like Valeria was gaining the upper hand, he intentionally left himself open. Valeria, driven by the thrill of the movement, lunged forward with a powerful punch. Her first met its target but Cassian, with a wly grin, grabbed her arm and twisted, sending her tumbling to the ground.

She landed on her back with a huff, her chest heaving from exertion.

“Never underestimate your opponent.”

Cassian’s eyes twinkled with amusement as he looked down at her. She was already drenched in sweat, her muscles aching and struggling to catch her breath. He held his hand out toward her which she begrudgingly took. He did not look nearly as winded as her.

 “Now, get up, my little warrior. We’re not done quite yet.”

“Not done?” Valeria echoed in dramatic horror.

Valeria’s senses were thrown into a whirlwind of surprise. Another voice, one she hadn’t heard in weeks, broke through the moment.

“It’s my turn now.”

Valeria’s head whipped around, feeling dizzy for a moment, but her eyes quickly found their way to the hazel ones she had missed so dearly. Azriel. 

He was also dressed in his Illyrian leathers, his cobalt blue siphons casting a soft, enchanting glow. His presence, as always, was a compelling blend of mystery and allure, making her heart flutter. The longing she felt for his company was undeniable.  She hadn’t seen him in weeks as he was preoccupied with the duties her father assigned to him and if it wasn’t the High Lord calling upon him, it was Rhysand, leaving little room for private moments together.

Cassian and Azriel exchanged nods in silent greeting. Azriel then turned to her, his lips curving into a teasing smirk. His eyes raked over her form as his shadows swirled around him in excitement and his large wings unfurled behind him. He looked at her with a mixture of pride, protectiveness and a hint of longing.

She felt like he was undressing her with his eyes.

“Cauldron boil me,” Valeria cursed under her breath.

Cassian chuckled. Azriel maintained his composed demeanor and gaze fixed on her, his smirk remaining unfaltering. He, too, had likely heard her choice of words and judging by the way his shadows whirled around him, he must’ve sensed the hidden meaning behind them.

He finally took his eyes off of her as he approached the weapons vault. “Where are you in your training with the Valkyries?”

Valeria considered the question for a moment before replying, "We've moved on to sparring with actual weapons."

Azriel's hazel eyes lit up with interest as he selected two swords from the vault, flinging one of them toward her. Valeria caught it with ease, though with a slight frown.

She much preferred daintier weapons such as a dagger or her whip. Zeila, her valkyrie trainer, had rewarded her with the elegant rope-like weapon for her remarkable progress. Crafted from pure silver and adorned with moonstone gems, it matched the necklace around her neck. At first glance, it appeared delicate, but when the moonstone gems were ignited by her power, it became a formidable tool capable of burning through those who dared to cross her. Valeria had glamored the whip to resemble a wrap-around bracelet when not in use and it currently shimmered brilliantly under the sunlight.

Azriel and Valeria stood facing each other, a palpable tension filling the air as Cassian sat on a bench nearby and watched. Much to his dismay, Noctis made himself comfortable atop of his head.

Valeria was the first to make a move, moving with a fluidity that was both elegant and powerful. As they sparred, Valeria demonstrated her newfound skills, seamlessly combining the precise strikes of the Valkyries with the fierce, aggressive style of the Illyrians. Azriel observed with growing admiration, impressed by her quick adaptation and her ability to execute the intricate maneuvers. Their swords clashed, the sound ringing through the rooftop, and with a deft flick of his wrist, he managed to disarm Valeria. His experience and training outmatched hers but Valeria was not one to give up easily. 

In a swift and practiced motion, she extended her arm, bringing the rope-like weapon to life. Azriel’s eyes widened for a flickering moment as he readied his sword but Valeria was too fast for him. Within seconds, her whip wrapped around Azriel’s wrist, forcing him to release his sword, the sharp piece of steel clattering to the ground. She grinned triumphantly as Cassian whistled in approval.

Azriel stumbled back, momentarily disarmed, until he saw an opportunity and seized it. He took advantage of the weapon wrapped around his wrist and pulled on it, throwing her off balance, sending Valeria stumbling forward. She was not able to catch her footing on time and both her and Azriel tumbled onto the ground. Azriel swiftly gained the  upper hand, pinning both her wrists by her head as he straddled her.

“I got you.” He smirked down at her.

With a mischievous glint in her violet eyes, Valeria shifted her hips up and wrapped her arms around his torso the best she could. She trapped his legs with her own and mustered up all the strength she could to roll over just as Cassian had taught her. In a sudden and skillful maneuver, she found herself hovering over Azriel, her dagger that had been attached to her thigh now pressed against his neck.

“Never underestimate your opponent.” Valeria said, her voice breathless but triumphant, echoing Cassian’s early words.

Azriel blinked back up at her, his pupils dilated. His gaze flickered down to her lips before locking with her gaze. Blood rushed up to her cheeks as she remembered the last time she had straddled him. It seemed so long ago and just as it had before they shared their first kiss, the world around them faded into the background, leaving just the two of them. She dared to lean down–

A boisterous laugh shattered their trance, snapping them back to reality.

Valeria removed herself from Azriel. He was the first to get up, offering his scarred hand to her. His shadows slithered down his arms and toward her, reaching out to caress her face in a way he yearned to himself as he pulled her up with him. They turned to an amused Cassian who offered a round of applause for Valeria.

“I’m so proud of you.” He told her. “Keep it up and you’ll be a Valkyrie in no time.”

Valeria’s heart swelled. “You really think they’d let me in?”

“Of course.” It was Azriel who replied.

She was smiling at the two formidable Illyrian warriors when she felt a gentle talon caress her mind. She allowed her brother in, who wanted to know where she was. Her smile fell and the two males looked at her in concern.

“Rhys is coming,” she said in warning at the same time she gave her brother her location.

With practiced ease, Valeria used her powers to glamor and remove the telltale signs of her recent training session–the sweat-soaked training gear and leathers were replaced with a simple black dress.  Noctis returned to his usual place on her shoulder. She had just enough time to glamor Cassian and Azriel as well to paint out the illusion of them sparring.

Rhysand was still unaware of her extensive training as she had sworn both males to secrecy. While her brother did keep his promise in teaching her how to use the dagger they all gifted her, it was nowhere near enough to explain the advanced skills she had just displayed. 

Azriel glanced down at his shirtless body and arched an eyebrow at her. A devious glint flickered in her eye as she smirked back at him with an appreciative gaze. The tattoos adorning his upper body, a mark of his emergence as a true warrior from the Blood Rite, were a sight to behold. She wondered for a brief moment what it would be like to kiss them as she dangerously trailed her way down…

Cassian seemed to be unfazed by his shirtless form, picking up the sword Valeria had been using, eager to get into character.

Rhysand emerged from a cloud of swirling darkness. He smiled fondly at Valeria in greeting before acknowledging his two closest friends. “I didn’t know you two were sparring today,” he commented, his tone lighthearted.

Cassian responded with a cheeky grin, "Just releasing some pent-up frustration, Rhys." He turned to Azriel, a cryptic look in his eyes, sensing something in the Shadowsinger he was strangely familiar with. "Right, Az?"

Azriel glared at him. "I'm sure Cass still has energy."

Rhysand chose to brush off their strange behavior, not wanting to delve into it further. "It's alright," he said, waving a hand dismissively. "I'm actually here for Val."

Valeria turned to him, her curiosity piqued.

"I need you to be ready by dinner. The High Lords are gathering at the Moonstone Palace for dinner, and Father requests our presence."

Valeria's eyes narrowed as she met her brother's gaze. She had her doubts that it was truly her father who had called for her presence, and judging by Rhysand's cheeky grin, she knew he had played a role in her being allowed to attend. Despite her skepticism, she nodded in agreement.

"I'll be ready."

**

The dinner among the High Lords of Pyrthian, their families and entourage was uneventful save for the mention of growing unrest between the mortals and fae. There were reports of some fae enslaving mortals–a matter that had drawn the attention of the High Lords.

Surprisingly, the High Lord of the Night Court appeared indifferent to Valeria’s presence at the dinner. A small victory.

Though she couldn't shake the feeling of being the odd one out as she was the only daughter to a High Lord present. She was grateful for Rhysand and Azriel, who sat on either side of her as Noctis–her usual companion–had to stay behind. Cerridwen and Nuala offered to take care of him for the night. The two males beside her watched over her, their protective presence enough to deter any unwarranted attention from the other attendees, especially the eldest sons of the Autumn and Spring court. Mor and her family were also present at the dinner, the first offering Valeria a sense of familiarity and warmth, but unfortunately, she sat far from her.

As the dinner came to a close, her mother, who sat across from her, sent Valeria a reassuring smile. With the main meal completed, the guests began to disperse into smaller groups, with alcohol and light desserts served for those who remained. Valeria took a moment to collect herself, her violin resting on a soft chair nearby. She picked it up and positioned it with care, knowing that her presence at the dinner came at a cost – the entertainment she could provide with her violin.

With a sigh, she began to play, the graceful notes of her violin filling the room and carrying a sense of melancholy and beauty. The Night Court’s orchestra arrived, a couple of songs later, providing a welcome respite. She smiled at them in greeting and they regarded her warmly, having grown fond of her over the past six months.

“That was excellent.” A voice praised.

Valeria looked up, eyes widening as they landed on the High Lord of the Dawn Court. Thesan. His aura radiated a warm golden glow, his brown skin and hair kissed with the permanent brilliance of sunrise. 

“You’ve grown into a wonderful young lady.” His gaze was warm as he regarded her. He remembered the last time he had seen her, when she was just six years old.

 Valeria recalled the memory clearly as it had been a slightly embarrassing incident when she had injured herself after chasing Rhysand around. He had snatched the last lemon cake and laughed in her face. Thesan had been the one to heal her injured elbow with a gentle touch while her father glared at her. She wondered if her father had also been embarrassed by her behavior that night as she hadn’t been allowed to attend a High Lord gathering until tonight.

“Thank you.” Valeria replied, her head bowed in appreciation.

“I’m sure your father is proud.” Thesan added, casting a meaningful glance toward her father, who had now joined them.

His gaze, though still somewhat distant, was not as cold as he regarded his daughter.

“She has an upcoming solo in a month.”

Valeria blinked at her father, surprise etched on her features. 

“What a shame,” Thesan lamented, his tone sincere. “I’m hosting a celebration for my Peregryns in a month. I would’ve loved for you to play for them.”

Valeria’s father hummed and she picked up on the hint. She excused herself politely. Though she knew her father’s demeanor was likely a result of Thesan’s presence, she couldn’t help but feel a glimmer of joy at his acknowledgement.

Valeria made her way to the desserts table, savoring the delightful taste of  a chocolate covered strawberry. Her gaze swept the room, searching for her brother amidst the sea of faces.

“Well, aren’t you a lovely little sweet.”

Startled by the sudden presence behind her, she jumped slightly before turning her head to find the source of the voice. Her gaze fell upon a red-haired male, whose amber eyes watched her intently. He held an air of arrogance and entitlement as he extended his hand toward her.

“Would you care to dance?” He inclined his head to his left, where couples where swaying to the music.

“I’m busy.” Valeria replied, referring to the dessert in her hand.

She glared as he plucked the strawberry from her hand and popped the remaining piece into his mouth, all while sporting a smirk that seemed to mock her. He took her hand, without asking again, and led her to the dance floor.

His hand rested dangerously low against her back and was hot as it met her bare skin. The dress she chose tonight was a blue mermaid gown with a plunging neckline and open back design to accommodate her wings but she had chosen to glamor them. There was a fire in his eyes as he looked over her.

Valeria’s lips curled into a smirk of her own. She had seldom experienced the sensation of being desired. The Illyrians in Windhaven had steered clear of her after her fling with Damien–if one could even call it that. The three Illyrian males in her life were fiercely protective, effectively warding off any potential suitors. But here, things were different.

 Though her heart longed for the desire of a specific male, she couldn’t deny the pleasure of feeling desired by others.

At that moment, recognition dawned on Valeria. The devilishly handsome male dancing with her was the eldest son of the High Lord of the Autumn Court and if the rumors in Prythian were true, he was in search of a bride.

“You must be Eris.” She said, her tone cool and composed.

The fire in his amber eyes was unyielding as he spun her around. His movements pressed her back against his chest, and he leaned down, his breath tickling her ear as he whispered: “I’m honored you know my name, sweets.”

With a twist, he spun her back around to face him, catching the crinkle of her nose in response to his nickname with a dark chuckle.

“It’s Valeria to you.” She corrected him with a firm tone.

Eris paused, his eyes set ablaze at the challenge, as he teased her further. “Valeria Vanserra has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”

In response, Valeria couldn’t help but laugh in disbelief. When she opened her mouth to offer another sly retort, another voice beat her to it.

**

The entire night was torture for Azriel.

It all started when he spotted Valeria in a striking dark blue fitted gown that hugged her every curve and exposed so much of her pretty sun kissed skin– Gods, she was beautiful. He wanted nothing more than to trace her curves and exposed skin with his hands while he tasted her pretty lips once more. He almost had this morning after sparring with her.

A warmth surged through him, almost as if he were staking a delusional claim, as he noticed the necklace he gifted her was wrapped sweetly around her neck, the moonstone gem resting right at the curves of her chest.

It had been hard for him to part from her side after dinner. He wanted to be the one to walk with her, dance with her. The desire to take her away and have her to himself was overwhelming but he could not afford to give in to it. He was bound by the High Lord’s orders, hovering around with his shadows dispersed, keeping an eye out for any suspicious activity. He managed to spare a couple of shadows to accompany Valeria, instructing them to keep a low profile with her and reach out to him immediately if anyone that wasn’t Rhysand or her mother touched her.

 The torture had escalated with each passing moment as he noticed the increasing looks of interest sent her way. He had to summon every ounce of strength to keep his jealousy at bay, especially when he noticed that Valeria had attracted the attention of a red-haired male. Eris, heir to the Autumn court, his shadows happily filled in for him.

He watched with a tensed resolve, concealing the jealousy in his eyes behind the usual fierce and protective mask he wore. His gaze was unwavering as the Autumn Court male held her close, danced with her and when he made her laugh, he decided that was it. He was going to intervene. Perhaps, he would start by ripping the smirk off of Eris’s face. 

**

“Eris.”

Valeria found herself being pulled away and into the chest of another. A protective arm wrapped around her shoulders and she looked up to find her brother–his actions betraying the cool and measured demeanor on his face.

Eris’s smirk widened, picking up on Rhysand’s frustration. “I can see why you keep her hidden now.”

“Stay away from my sister.”

Rhysand’s glare was not enough to communicate his disapproval of Eris’s sudden and unwelcome interest in his sister. He didn’t bother with formalities and without saying another word, he pulled her away from Eris.

Leaning in closer to Valeria, Rhysand spoke in a hushed voice. “I have someone I want you to meet,” he whispered as he guided her through the crowded gathering.

Valeria followed her brother, oblivious to the Shadowsinger that had been moments away from tearing the heir to the Autumn court into pieces. She was curious and somewhat relieved to leave behind the tense encounter with Eris, wondering why the Cauldron had decided to bestow Prythian with its fair share of wicked sons.

But perhaps not all of Prythian’s sons were wicked, she found herself thinking as Rhysand introduced her to a quiet blond male. He appeared around her age. His green eyes were innocent and kind–a dark contrast to his older brothers, who had glared at her during dinner earlier.

His name was Tamlin and a light blush rose to his cheeks as Valeria smiled at him.

**

Finally, in the comforts of her room, Valeria let out a sigh of relief as she leaned back against her door. The night had been a hurricane of emotions from all the interactions she had, some were welcomed and others draining. She had ended her night with Mor, who was finally able to escape from the grasps of her family as Eris and his father approached Keir. Rhysand had to unfortunately leave early. Their father wanted him to check up on a growing conflict between Windhaven and a neighboring camp first thing in the morning so he thought it’d be best if he stayed the night at their house in Windhaven.

Valeria made her way to her vanity, seating herself upon the soft cushion of its bench. She slowly unraveled her bun, allowing her long dark hair to fall into a sea of ebony waves.

She unclasped her earrings next and as she went to unclasp her necklace, her eyes widened with alarm at the figure she caught behind her in the reflection from the vanity’s mirror. She abruptly stood from her seat, her initial shock giving way and gaze softening as she recognized the figure.

“By the cauldron, Azriel, you nearly gave me a heart attack!“

Azriel was behind her within seconds and she caught sight of his heated gaze through the mirror. “My sentiments exactly,” he told her, his fingers brushing the thin strap of her dress. He rejoiced in the way it easily fell from her shoulders. “When I saw you wearing this dress.”

“I wore it for you.” Valeria confessed as heat rose to her cheeks. The blue shade of her dress perfectly matched his siphons.

“Is that so?” He hummed, his gaze not leaving her bare back. 

He knew it was wrong to look at her the way he did. He knew that Rhysand would kill him if he saw the intent in his eyes but he had waited so long–six excruciating months– to finally have Valeria alone again and his shadows screamed at him to seize the opportunity. His hand then lightly grazed her back, tracing along the spot where her wings usually rested. Valeria shivered at his touch.

She turned around to face him and their eyes met, unspoken words between them as tension filled the air. Tension that had sparked between them since their first kiss. Tension that had lingered, waiting for the right kindling to ignite it once more. Tension that was set alight by their sparring this morning, further fueled by the exchanged glances during dinner. Tension that was no longer possible to ignore.

And then their lips were desperately crashing into each other in an ardent kiss.

They pulled each other close until their bodies were flush against one another, his shadows enveloping around the both of them. With Valeria’s arms wrapped around his neck, she slid her fingers through his soft dark hair and his slid to her hips, hoisting her up onto her vanity. Her legs instantly wrapped themselves around his waist and she pulled him even closer, feeling him harden against her and eliciting a groan from him that made a heat pool in her stomach.

He broke away from the kiss, resting his forehead against hers. His eyes were closed, his breathing fast and sharp. “Val,” he breathed her name so heavenly, despite the slight tremble in his body. “If we don’t stop now, I won’t be able to hold myself back.”

She knew she should stop him as they were both walking among a fine line but she couldn’t bring herself to. Not when Azriel was looking at her like she was the one who placed the stars in the sky.

“Good thing,” Valeria began, nudging her nose softly against his. “I don’t want you to stop.”

That was all the confirmation Azriel needed before he picked her up and placed her onto her bed. He was then claiming her lips again, darting his tongue along her bottom lip and she parted her lips for him, groaning into his mouth as his tongue caressed hers.

Azriel broke from the kiss and pulled on the dress that had left little to the imagination and an insatiable thirst for more. He was filled with a desperate desire to feel all of her against him. She arched into him, allowing him to undo the delicate laces and slide her dress off in one motion. He would’ve ripped it off her, if it hadn’t been one of her mother’s designs. 

His breath hitched as he hovered over her, appreciating her beauty–the sight of her almost bare before him. Her moonstone necklace shimmered and was nestled deliciously right above her exposed breasts. “Gods, you’re so beautiful,” he breathed, allowing his shadows to caress her breasts, rejoicing in the way she shivered with pleasure. 

She let out a moan as he lowered his mouth to one of her breasts and sucked on it, his tongue flicking against her nipple while his shadows continued to caress the other.

“Azriel.”

“Tell me,” he murmured against her soft skin. “Tell me what you want.”

“I want to be yours.” She breathed in reply. 

He nearly moaned at her words, rapidly losing his resolve as the scent of her arousal hit him then. She pulled on his leathers, a silent request to take them off. He complied, disposing of his clothing until he was bare before her, his siphons landing on the floor with a thud. His cock sprang free, no longer restrained by his leathers and he took delight in the way her eyes grew wide, taken aback by his considerable length before they trailed their way up to the intricate tattoos on his chest.

Valeria wanted to kiss along his tattoos as she had desired to earlier in the morning but when she moved to sit up, Azriel stopped her. He pinned her back to the bed with a low growl. Her bare skin was so warm against his.

“You’re all mine.” He told her, echoing her wish from just moments ago, and then was grinding his hips against her clothed core in a teasing manner.

His lips trailed down her stomach until he hovered over the place she desperately needed him. He looked up once more at her. Although he told her he wouldn’t be able to hold himself back, he still sought her permission. 

She gave a nod and he smirked at her, a devious glint in his hazel eyes.

“Words.” He teased her, brushing his nose against her core as her arousal flooded him, overwhelming all his senses. His eyes and the shadows around him darkened.  “I need your words.”

“I need you.” 

He tutted, not entirely satisfied. “Need me where?”

“By the cauldron Azriel, I need you to fuck me.” She cried out desperately, her words making his cock throb almost painfully and before he could tease her further, she added: “With your tongue, fingers, cock. Do as you wish, I’m all yours."

“Gods, you have such a dirty mouth on you.” He replied as he slid her underwear off, imagining all the things her dirty mouth was capable of. He hooked her legs to rest on either side of his wings. “Where did you learn such vulgar things?”

Books, she had meant to reply but she was set ablaze and at a loss for words at the first lick of his tongue. A soft whimper escaped from her and he unleashed himself, eagerly devouring her and drawing out more moans that were like music to his ears. Her fingers found themselves entangled in his hair again and she writhed beneath him. Azriel placed a firm grip on her hips, smirking against her as her thighs trembled against him. He could tell she was close. 

Wanting nothing more than to hear her lose herself completely to him, he slid his tongue into her and allowed his shadows to caress her everywhere, wanting to touch every inch of her skin and discover her most sensitive areas. Her breasts, her neck, her clit. 

“Azriel.”

Another low growl erupted from deep in his chest at the way she moaned his name. It was lovely and it felt so right.

“Come on, princess.” He purred, pressing a kiss to her clit before kissing his way up her thigh. He replaced his tongue with his finger, slowly easing his way with one until eventually, he was pumping three inside her. He left trails of her essence all over her body as he continued to make his way up. “Let go for me.”

Azriel’s lips were pressed against her neck when the heat pooled in her stomach tightened and then her core was pulsing around his fingers as she came, waves of pleasure flooding all of her senses. He pulled away from her neck, watching as her body arched into his and trembled with a soft glow. 

Azriel had never beheld anything more exquisite than this–than her coming apart under his touch. His gaze lingered on her for a moment, engraving the sweet image into his mind. An image that he would savor for centuries.

A finger traced over the sensitive curve of his wing, pulling him out of his trance and it was his turn to moan her name. He felt her other hand on his cheek and he leaned in to it, savoring her touch. He allowed her to take control for a moment as she guided his lips to hers. She could taste herself on his lips.

Another whimper escaped from him, his eyes fluttering close when he felt her finger brush the curve of his wing again. Her movements were agonizingly slow as she trailed her finger down and his breath hitched as they brushed against his hard length before wrapping themselves around it. He placed his hand over hers before she could continue. She had barely touch him but he could feel his release quickening already.

When he opened his eyes, his pupils were blown, their darkness honing in on her. A darkness she wanted to dive further into. “Please.” Valeria begged against his lips. 

His forehead rested against hers and his breath fanned her face. He knew what she was asking for but there would be no going back from this. He wanted to make sure that she still wanted this, still wanted him.

“Are you sure?” He pulled away from her lips to allow her to answer, leaning his cheek against her hand once more, his eyes looking straight into hers.

“Yes.” Her voice was so sure as she held his gaze. It caused something in his chest to rise and flutter madly. “I want you to be my first.”

Overwhelmed by the surge of emotions, he found himself unable to suppress his feelings. Yes, he desired her, but it went beyond physical attraction. He yearned for more than just her body. He desperately and selfishly wanted her heart too.

“I don’t just want to be your first.” He told her, pressing a soft kiss into the palm of her hand. “I want to be the only one.”

“Yes, yes.” She nodded her head at him and though her eyes were clouded with lust, she genuinely meant it. She yearned to be his and his only. Heart and soul. “You’re all I can think about.”

“Gods, you’ll be my ruin.” He uttered a sigh as he fisted his cock. He rubbed his length along her entrance, coating it with her arousal before sliding the tip in.

Valeria let out a gasp as he slowly pushed himself further. His hands found hers, intertwining their fingers together and resting them on either side of her head. He sweetly kissed the tears from her eyes and stilled inside her, allowing her to adjust to his size. Blood pounded through his body, his heart surging with fervor as she felt so heavenly wrapped around him tightly. 

He’d imagined this moment before, on nights where his thoughts were consumed with her. He’d imagine what noises she’d make, what she’d feel like, how she’d beg for him. To finally have her like this, it surpassed his wildest dreams. 

And when she was begging for him to move, he happily obliged. 

“You’re taking me so well.” He praised as he thrusted into her, slow and hard, all the way until his hips were flushed against hers. "Fuck, you're so perfect."

  His thrusts grew quicker and harder, his shadows frenzied around him as he continued to draw out her pleasure. She was a sobbing mess beneath him. When he felt her pulsing around him, he sent a shadow to rub against her clit while his lips claimed hers. She moaned lewdly into his mouth.

His pace picked up, pounding into her mercilessly as their scents merged as one. His grip on her hands tightened as his hips stuttered into her. She tilted her head back, their kiss now all tongue and barely lips as she tightened around him.

Release tore through their bodies and when their eyes met, they were a beautiful and panting mess.

Through the window, the moon's soft embrace casted a gentle glow, illuminating her face as his shadows lingered behind him, admiring her beauty. She was the radiant light, and he, the comforting darkness. They existed in an unspoken unity.

She held his heart, and he, unreservedly, belonged to her.

***

tag list:  @justrepostandlove , @kemillyfreitas, @thelov3lybookworm

a/n: I was inspired by a comment @kemillyfreitas made on one of the imagines and decided that if her father won't show her love, at least Thesan will. I have a soft spot for the high lord of dawn <3

I contemplated so much about this moment between Az and Val because it was definitely going to happen. It was just a matter of when. I wanted to save it for the actual storyline but ultimately, thought it was best for it to happen much sooner. They are aware that there's something special between them (Az more so than Val) but instead of letting words/reason guide them, they're being guided by their feelings and desire. also, if things are unclear or you would like clarification on some things, feel free to ask. I'll answer them happily!

songs I listened to while writing this on repeat: kingdom fall by claire wyndham, i wanna be yours by arctic monkeys if you couldn't tell by the dialogue lol, feels like by gracia abrahams. I did make a playlist for songs I listen to while I write. I want to incorporate some of the lyrics into the imagines.

[i-still-mask-because]

in the wake of all this new information during COVID, do you feel that maybe we should all just be masking all the time, COVID of no COVID? I mean it can't be the only airborne disease out there and immunocompromised ppl have always and will always exist so like. Following that thinking even if we don't have COVID we could still be risking other people's health (and lives) with other diseases we may have right? Idk I'm stressing a lot about this do I just need to wear a mask outside forever cos. Masks mess with my breathing and sensory issues and stuff but. I don't wanna?? Kill people by accident??? Aaaaa

Hello, thanks for reaching out about this.

I saw this ask about a month ago, and I needed time to think about how I'd respond to it (so I want to thank you for the patience!).

I'll try to answer all of this to the best of my ability, and I thought I'd answer this by going backwards (responding to the last things you said and then moving up with responding to the first things you said).

Everything is below the cut because this is very long!

First I'll try to summarize what I think you're asking here:

"Vulnerable people exist in this world all around me, therefore does this mean I'm constantly posing a threat to those vulnerable people's safety when I don't mask? The thought of this brings me feelings of stress, fear, and anxiety."

I find this is hard to answer candidly without risking stressing out you or anyone else who's aware of the consequences of their choice not to mask. Nonetheless, my honest answer is: yes, choosing not to mask means risking the lives and safety of vulnerable people, i.e. the disabled, immunocompromised, elderly, children & babies, and those that intersect those groups. That risk can take place directly (such as interacting with an immunocompromised elder) or indirectly (such as interacting with the parent of a disabled child).

I also want to add that it's not only those groups that need protecting. I firmly believe that regardless of your age and/or whether or not you self-identify as disabled or immunocompromised that everyone is at risk of the long-term consequences of this rapidly mutating, vascular, and immunosuppressive virus. No one is invincible to this, and I'll add: not even if you're vaccinated (still get vaccinated if you can, but know that you can still catch covid & develop long covid regardless of your vaccination status).

1. "Masks mess with my breathing and sensory issues."

I understand how that can be difficult to deal with, trust me. There are specific masks (such as most standard KN95s) that irritate the hell out of my face after a certain point. The way those specific masks brush against the hairs of my cheeks just make me want to rip the mask off my face completely. Finding alternatives has been a lifesaver, and they've allowed me to get through the day without wanting to maul someone lol. I don't know what masks you have tried out already, so I'll just recommend the one's I like as well as the one's I've heard good reviews on from people that also have sensory issues:

NIOSH 3m Aura N95 Respirators

Flo Mask

GATA Mask (Haven't tried this one yet, but I've heard a LOT of people say this has been a game changer for them because of how comfortable it is & how it doesn't trigger much sensory issues at all due to its silicone material. Probably the only con I've heard is the chance of the build up of moisture in the mask after a long period of use & water possibly dripping on your face— this happens to me sometimes with my Flo Mask. Edit on Sept. 26, 2023: I tried GATA Mask, and I personally have a tough time getting a comfortable fit & seal with it, even when getting the small/medium size for adults to see if it'll make a difference, and the nose bridge shape not fitting well for me is a huge con. Customer service is just suggesting I spend more, so I'll just give this one a break, for now at least. A lot of other people seem to like it though.)

Halyard FLUIDSHIELD [ASTM Level 3] Mask (My mom works in a hospital, and these are masks she brings home from work. They're VERY comfortable for me, especially when I'm masking at home. I recommend finding a way to tighten the loops that go around your ears to prevent as much gaps around the mask as possible. If tight loops hurt your ears easily, I recommend a mask brace.)

O2 Nose Filters (I haven't tried these out yet as well, but I've seen videos demonstrating how effective these are at filtering out SOOO many unseen particles. I don't recommend using these alone of course, because there's still a risk of inhaling harmful aerosols through your mouth. I would recommend using this as a reinforcement of the protective measures you take. For example: adding on a comfortable surgical mask— ideally one with a high filtration efficiency like the previous suggestion— with the nose filters. I think these nose filters would be great if you're removing your mask real quick to take a sip of water or if you're outdoors with enough distance from crowded areas & groups.)

In the ideal world, more people would mask during this on-going pandemic so those that deal with sensory issues and/or those that straight-up can't wear a mask due to medical reasons wouldn't have to worry so much about choosing between existing & risking their health. For now, we just have to find alternatives.

2. "Do I need to wear a mask outside forever?"

My answer to this is: yes until further notice. There's no foreseeable end to this pandemic right now, but it would be worth the patience to wait for adequate tech, treatment, and cures for covid-19 to be released before even thinking about getting loose with masking.

Societal mandates have been dropped way too soon, and public health in regards to covid-19 is being forced on us as an individual responsibility. As a consequence, this gives this rapidly mutating virus a lot of wiggle room to spread and do whatever it wants. This means doctors and experts don't have much answers yet for adequate treatment because there's a MAJOR lack of containment (such as masking & quarantining) and documentation (such as testing & reporting). This isn't to say there hasn't been any advancements whatsoever: for example, Washington University just developed a breath test for covid that gives results in just 1 minute! This is great news! And this is just one reason why it's very necessary for those who can mask to mask, so scientists are given more time to roll out helpful solutions & tools sooner.

Another thing I'll add is if you're symptomatic and/or are positive for covid, you should 100% be wearing a mask no matter what, point blank period. I say "and/or" because it is VERY much possible to have covid and not experience any symptoms at all; this is a major reason why it's necessary to mask up in public consistently, because you can't always know who you bump into that may have covid or not.

3. "Even if we don't have covid, we could still be risking other people's health (and lives) with other diseases we may have right?"

Yes, there is a possibility of spreading airborne diseases to vulnerable people unknowingly— without the protective & preventative tools that is.

I can only speak for America because that's the cultural zeitgeist I grew up in, but: I feel like many of us can agree that, unless you worked in a healthcare setting, what was "normal" (in America) before 2020 when it came to airborne illness prevention was definitely not the regular use of a mask. American health education mainly taught us if we're coughing & sneezing to try to do so in a tissue or into your elbow, as well as frequently wash our hands. That doesn't account for the way air actually works though. For instance, if someone with the common cold coughed into the inside of their elbow, the particles they coughed out are still able to linger in the air because their elbow isn't creating a tight seal around their mouth (their elbow may have caught the droplets from their cough— which are bigger & heavier— but the smaller, lighter aerosols would just spread around similar to how smoke does); it's the difference between 😪 vs 😶‍🌫️. The only sure way for the germs they've coughed out to be blocked from spreading to other people is if they wear a well-fitted, quality mask/respirator.

I feel like health education from a young age should include the benefits of masking; that way it would be easier to adapt to the need to put on a mask to protect ourselves & others as a collective. It would be phenomenal & wonderful if we as a collective were used to masking the same way we're used to putting on socks before putting on our shoes.

4. "Immunocompromised people have always and will always exist"

Yes, that is true. And that means necessary measures taken to protect them, as well as other vulnerable people, should be the standard.

5. "[Covid] can't be the only airborne disease out there"

Of course not. There's plenty of them. However, not all airborne diseases are the same, nor should they be treated as such. What's been observed in regards to the long-term effects of covid is not at all the same with other airborne diseases. Covid is a highly contagious virus that is more than just a respiratory disease. Its goal is to attack your immune system, nervous system, heart, brain, and/or other vital organs. That's what viruses do. They act smart and sneaky, and they have the capability to trigger illnesses in your body that you may not have had pre-infection:

Chickenpox is known to lead to shingles

Epstein-Barr is known to lead to mono

HPV is known to lead to cancer

Covid-19 has been found to lead to:

POTS

ME/CFS

Stroke & Heart attack

Alzheimer's

Dementia

"Brain Fog"; Memory & Concentration Problems

The list goes on, and these are only what we know of. Covid may not be the only airborne disease, but it definitely is a dangerous one with serious, long-term negative effects.

6. "Do you feel that we should all be masking all the time, whether or not covid-19 exists?"

In regards to masking with the existence of covid:

Yes. Masking is a vital method in the prevention of catching & spreading covid-19, because it is primarily spread through the air.

In regards to masking without the existence of covid:

See my answer for number 3, and also: given the fact wearing a mask can only do more good than harm for most folks, I don't see why not. Imagine a world where we don't have to worry about flu season or allergy season anymore because those aerosols are filtered out from consistent mask wearing. Sounds like the dream to me lol.

-

I hope this made sense! If anyone has anything they'd like to add to answer anon's questions, please feel free to share!

Thank you for reading 😷

[ryuichirou]

Replies

More replies about recent stuff, plus some random twst stuff pluuuus a reply related to a Malleus sketch from our 🔑🔞twt <3 Thank you for your questions.

thestarlightfae asked:

...Do I want to know what Lilia has on his phone?

Somehow I doubt it… But he wouldn’t mind showing!

Anonymous asked:

Ryuichirou just to let you know your literally the reason why I download Tumblr and I'm so so glad I did so🙇🙇

Oh god Anon, I am very sorry for doing this to you LOL Thank you so much!!! <3 I am glad you’re enjoying it!

m1lk-n-cook1es asked:

Dragon Malleus has six limbs and is therefore an insect. Discuss

(idk if he has 4 limbs in the dragon body but oh well)

Does…that mean that a centaur would also be an insect? This is kind of troubling… 😟

I think this is something we could discuss for hours until Malleus appears and ends this discussion forever, looking offended af :(

Anonymous asked:

Ace and malleus won't be together because ace has no Rizz  and no skills. he would fumble malleus so hard he would end up with someone else twice over, who im not sure but definitely someone he has to see a lot

(related to a reply about Ace the donkey to Malleus’ dragon)

OUCH, Anon!! You’re roasting Ace more than Malleus would’ve roasted him while literally breathing fire 😭🔥

Give this boy a chance. That being said, we all know the chance is slim….

Anonymous asked:

about the mosquitoes bites ! If you put a burning hot metal spoon on it for a few seconds the heat will kill the itchiness ! Tested and approved every summers you should definitely do it 👍

My favourite part about posting that mosquito comic is people recommending remedies for the bites…!

Thank you, Anon. I’ll keep that in mind.

Anonymous asked:

Would the twst ppl ever go down of ppl of the opposite sex? Or is everyone just gay? Like Floyd on a female riddle or something

-english is not good with me

“Everyone is gay” is our default because we prefer gay ships, but we don’t really headcanon sexualities for characters. If we ever come up with a good story with Floyd and fem!Riddle, nothing would stop us from indulging in it 💪 There are some that are more difficult for me to see with the opposite sex than the others though.

Anonymous asked:

Do the doms give oral? Like will the dom suck the sub's dick at all or nah?

With you would oral sec be strictly a bottom's job?

It is a tendency in my art to only leave it for the bottoms because it is a personal preference. But I don’t think that all of our tops would be strictly against it on the same level.

I wrote some hcs quite a while ago, if you want a detailed answer about someone in particular! Although I think my bias is pretty obvious lol Sorry.

Anonymous asked:

Okay the post of Malleus laying an egg from a while ago on your locked twt has been driving me so up the walls I haven't even been able to find the words??? I was so gagged when I saw it????

Shota Malleus always feels like he's totally convinced he's mature enough to handle Lilia and anything else you throw at him (he isn't) and him dealing with something like that when he's definitely way too young and unprepared and being completely overwhelmed and scared by it is SO GOOD

I can imagine him calling out Lilia's name in such a broken way, half upset because he just went through something really painful and scary and he wants to be comforted by his caretaker, and half because he's so confused and he has no idea what he should do and he needs Lilia's guidance, when Lilia was the one who put him into that mess in the first place... I worry that Lilia is going to take one look at him and their egg and be like "guess it's scrambled eggs for breakfast!" to cover his own mistake before anyone finds out 😭

(And also...... I just think it's a little hot... Malleus pushing out an egg that's too big for his body all alone in his room with nobody to help him regulate his breathing and pushing?? He just has to figure it all out on his own because he can't/won't call for help??? Squeezing that egg out a little at a time and slowly stretching himself open, before it falls back inside him and he has to start all over again, basically fucking himself on it until he finally gets it out... 🥵)

I am SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT, ANON!! <3 I want to say that it was a very self-indulgent sketch, but then again, everything that we post is lol

Poor Malleus absolutely wasn’t ready for anything like that to happen and he definitely wasn’t told that this was something that could happen to a dragon fae… And Lilia was probably surprised too, looking at him like shoot that wasn’t supposed to happen yet, wtf, “dragon eggs are rare” my ass lol Lilia really fucked up his cycles…

I guess they really are going to have scrambled eggs for breakfast…! God we had so many conversations about Lilia and dragon eggs, I really should finish that one comic from ages ago.

(I’m also glad you find this hot as well~ If definitely would’ve been much easier for him if Lilia was around when that was happening, poor thing probably thought he was dying or something. He often feels alone, but when that happened, he felt especially alone and helpless. It’s honestly a miracle he wasn’t mad at Lilia afterwards, but I guess it’s because he was way too shocked for that)

[flandrepudding]

doll collection post

Hi guyz!! so somebody asked me to post my doll collection a while back and I put it off because i'm trying to rearrange my setup but its taking much longer than expected due to irl stuff.

But I dont wanna wait anymore! Feel free to just scroll through the pictures, you don't have to read the commentary if you don't want to. In fact you don't have to scroll through any of this at all. I wrote a lot because I am severely neurodivergent. Having a genuine blogging moment rn.

I have been waiting forever for an excuse to post my collection!! I was so happy someone suggested I do so.

I don't have a lot of room for everybody! Everyone is scattered around my room, but I try my best to display them nicely...

My G1 collection is moderately sized, these dolls are expensive and difficult to find. There are so many more I want, like Dead Tired Lagoona or Sweet 1600 Draculaura to go with my Sweet 1600 Clawdeen...sigh. But it just keeps getting harder! I am actually content with stopping my G1 collecting hunt for now and instead focusing on G3... Many of these dolls are from my dear friends, especially Leo and Raven (hi guyz!). Without my friends, I would only have three of these dolls... I am so lucky to be so loved!!!

I don't have many bratz that are in good enough shape to be on display. I really grew up on bratz rather than monster high... but again...these dolls get expensive! Roxxi was always a favorite of mine and a crush! Growing up, I was the type of kid who almost exclusively wanted one brat though. Yasmin. Not Cloe, Jade, or Sasha. I was devoted to collecting Yasmin because she looked similar to me. In retrospect, I really wish I had gotten more of the other girls...I do have some...though their numbers pale in comparison to the Yasmin army.

The ball-jointed doll is my most expensive doll and my largest doll (she is fucking ginormous). Even when buying her at half the original price (great deal from a great friend) she was hardly affordable.

I bought her because I plan on customizing her to be Flandre Scarlet, my ultimate comfort character! I've always dreamed of having a doll of Flan. SO why not make one myself? I've had her for months but am still too scared to cut that beautiful hair off...I'm no good at cutting wigs/hair in general. I did install her red eyes myself which I've never done before as this is my first and probably last bjd! She is gorgeous but I would consider these dolls luxury items... VERY EXPENSIVE.

(idk why the exposure is so high on these, sorry!! >_<;)

I am so happy to have the coffin bean playset!! I think it was a really good idea to get it. but I am so sad because I have hardly any room for it! So It's sitting on my dresser in front of a giant mirror so please excuse the poor editing I did to obscure the reflection of me and my living space lol...

I gave my Twyla low pigtails, though they aren't very visible, and my Clawdeen braids! I think Clawdeen looks super cute this way tbh I tried curling her hair again and again and again but the curls always fell out (I dont have much experience)...but honestly... I think I like this look even better ^_^. You can see her ears so well this way.

This Clawdeen is basically my holy grail and it was gifted to me by Leo, Leo if you're reading this I hope you know you are basically Jesus.

not to get deep but the OMG doll next to her is special to me because it is one of the last gifts I got from my late Grandpa. He took me to target and when I said I liked the doll, no questions asked, he bought her for me. Didn't give me shit for liking dolls at my big age. He simply got her for me because she made me happy, and he wants me to be happy. Dolls can mean so much. Again, I am so lucky to be so loved!!! >:D

I have this gorgeous Draculaura just chilling next to my jewelry cuz I have nowhere else to put her and honestly she is gorgeous and should stand alone.

Here I have the pride Bratz next to my bed!!! They mean so much to me, as I said earlier I had a crush on Roxxi. To see she's a canon lesbian now is so incredible!! And Nevra, her girlfriend, is beautiful! They are so cute together... they are never leaving that box though. This was actually the first doll/set of dolls where I fully understood why people are content leaving dolls in their boxes. I love to play with my dolls so much... but I could never play with these two!! If anything happened to them I would lose my mind.

Now... you're probably thinking......where the hell is Lagoona?!?! Do you not have one despite loving her this much? Of course I have a Lagoona. I AM GROWING AN ARMY!!!!!!

I really, really love Lagoona...I want to get every Lagoona doll I possibly can. Isn't she so cute! I relate to her character in the cartoon a lot too... her life at home, her difficulties speaking up when she is sad or angry, her sporty personality, etc etc... She has quickly claimed her spot as biggest comfort character #2. I included many pictures because I simply cannot pick one, she is flawless. You might recognize the Lagoona on the left, I drew her in that exact pose recently!!

I have her army on my desk, giving me the strength I need to get through my work... like Homer Simpson with his pictures of baby Maggie at his work. I get endless inspiration and motivation from Lagoona!!!

And here is the Flandre shrine bonus... I adore her!! I also have finally ordered a fumo flan that should arrive in august around my birthday eeek!!!

Anyways that is my collection. It's been many years in the making, though it's almost doubled since monster high G3 released... Mattel truly has me by the balls right now. If you read any of this, thank you. I put a lot of time into making this post, and it was really fun. I feel like a real blogger right now.

I really really enjoy dolls and talking about them. So I will happily do so anytime I get the chance!!! Will probably do an update once I finally install some more shelves and move stuff around <3

[elcheese]

Woah omg it's Demon Slayer Oc time

I actually drew her, yippee

This took like 5 fucking hours but I am so happy. Y'all ain't getting a katana reveal, I'm too lazy and couldn't be bothered to lmao.

Buuuttt, I am going to tell you stuff about her, since I won't shut up about KnY for a while.

Probably long text under the cut.

Name: Hannei Datai

Her first name, Hannei (反映) means reflection while his last name, Datai (堕胎) means abortion.

(It should be noted that I am not Japanese, barely knowledgeable about the language and this may be inaccurate. I tried my best to find if it's actually the meaning or not, so if it's wrong, I apologize.)

Current Age:

17

Birthday:

August 28th

Gender + Pronouns:

Female, but doesn't mind being referred to as a male or somewhere between. (She/Her, He/Him, They/Them)

Species:

Human.

Rank:

Hashira. To be more specific, the Mirror Hashira. They were a tsuguko for almost all of the Hashira for a short time, but he stayed with Obanai Iguro the longest.

Breathing Style: Breath of Reflection/Mirror Breathing

The name of this breathing style is pretty self explanatory. It focuses on mimicking other breathing styles and only has one form (but Hannei is currently making a 2nd form, shhh.) Hannei couldn't perfect any breathing style, only able to master one form of each. So she decided to compile them and make small changes to better fit her fighting style. Even after mastering one form, it still doesn't quite match up with the real deal. Hannei would either lack the strength, the speed, flexibility, etc.

Relationship status + Sexuality:

Single. And forever will be lol (Aroace go brr)

Weapons:

Of course, the nichirin sword. It's a baby blue color and isn't very different from any other sword.

Kunais. Hannei gets them from Tengen mostly and asks Shinobu to coat them in a thin layer of wisteria posion.

Personality:

They're closed off and often keep to themselves. She's more open with people she's comfortable with, which is the majority of the Hashira and the Ubayashiki family. He's a bit of a people pleaser, depending on who he's with, it can vary. But that doesn't mean their principles and morals change, just the way they act.

Negative aspects of them is that they have little to almost no self-preservation, being indecisive over the smallest of things, often not thinking about having or even forming an opinion of their own. She thinks she isn't needed and isn't worthy of being a Hashira, since she mostly just copies a form from each style. He takes a while to decide things on his own when it comes to small things (food, clothing, children bickering over something, etc.). They got used to just following someone else's lead and/or someone ordering them around that it's difficult to voice certain things out.

Positive aspects of them though is their neutrality, understanding, and patience. Often overshadowed by her need to please the people around her, she's actually pretty neutral about a majority of things! She found it taboo that Tanjirou was traveling with a demon, but the fact that it was his sister made her a bit sad and thought about the pain and confusion he must've had going through his head. (She only voted to kill Nezuko because everyone else did lol). Patience and understanding is her specialty, since that's what it took for her to at least master one form from each breathing style she's seen. She took the time to understand other people's point of views before forming any sort of opinion on them. That task alone could take a long time as well, hence the patience.

But fuck around too much and you'll see why he stayed with Obanai the longest lmao.

Backstory:

Hannei was the result of adultery. She only inherited her appearance from the man her mother cheated on her father with. The almost pitch black eyes unnerved them. The couple had a reputation for being the most perfect couple in the small town, so this was an issue. They never let her go out into the town during the day, but they did let her during the night. During the day, they'd desperately just try to keep them busy inside the house, ordering them around the house, teaching them how to act a certain way, etc.

Hannei was told to be quiet. To never speak. To always avoid people. So he did, being unusually quiet on his feet, sneaking from left to right while observing the remaining people that roamed the streets. One day, they saw a demon attacking someone. They did nothing. Just watched.

It was almost like a cycle, the same demon, different victim, same ending. She has tried to bring this up with her parents, only to be met with panicked shushes, telling her to be quiet while trying to hide their disdain towards her.

Until it was finally their turn, when Hannei was 14. What did they do? Sold Hannei off to the demon so save their own skins. Hannei loved them with their whole heart, yet they didn't want to return that, only seeing them as a manifestation of a mistake that they made. She wanted to hate them so badly, but she couldn't find it in her heart to do so for some reason, instead blaming the demon and it's entire kind. He tried to put up a fight, only being able to slice the demon with glass shards. It was futile.

But he was saved by the Serpent Hashira. Before he could leave, Hannei expressed that they wanted to do the same thing. Slay demons. End the suffering of many. He agreed and brought him back to the demon slayer corps. Obanai didn't train him just yet though, he let Hannei choose. Hannei started off from Water Breathing, then to Fire, Stone, all the way until they circled back to Obanai. (Hannei apologized so much to Obanai and all the others who trained him for not being able to do their styles)

It took a few years, but Hannei was finally a Hashira. She's the most recent, maybe raised to that rank after Tanjiro passed the final selection. (I am bad with time lol)

Extras:

Their favorite food is tonkatsu (I fucking love tonkatsu)

The mask they wear is meant to mock demons. She only wears it on the job.

He found out about Obanai's dislike towards women, so in an attempt to make him more comfortable, he decided to keep his appearance more androgynous.

The moment she got her 'official' uniform, she buried it somewhere and lied, saying she lost it, asking for a different design.

They really like turtles.

He tries no to keep eye contact with people for too long. He knows it's rude but has been told many times by people (ahem, the parents) that his eyes are unsettling.

She has some strong eyesight... When it comes to things farther away. Extremely farsighted.

They like making silly impressions of the other Hashiras to Nezuko whenever they're bored.

Loves staying out in the sun since he was only allowed to be out at night.

Welp, that's all. I think. I'll add more when I think of more lol.

[zepskies]

Okay new follower and reader I have almost binged all of them. :) I was wondering if you could do an imagine with Beau and the Reader and how about they fight really bad like regretful words cause beau is pulling away cause of a difficult case. And he realizes he loves her when she is packing her stuff to leave and they break the bed in the trailer because he wants to show her how much he loves her.

You don’t have to if you don’t want to. But I just want to say you have a new reader for life.

Ps can we be friends now. Lol.

Hey, lovely!! I'm sorry, I know it's been forever since you dropped this in my inbox. Believe it or not, I'm still working through my requests from last year, when my requests were still open.

This is an awesome prompt, and I used it as the basis of A Good Man Is Hard to Find, the bonus one-shot I just put out on Friday for the Take Me Home-verse.

But I've written a drabble that will incorporate most of the rest of this prompt. 😏

I think I'll release it this week, or by the end of April at the latest. Thanks for your patience with me, and for reading my work! 💕

And of course we can be friends! lol Hit up my inbox anytime. 😉 I'd love to know whatever you think about what you've read so far, or ask me questions if you have any, all that fun stuff!

[leggyre]

hi all! sorry, this is going to be a bit of a sad post.

I just want to share that Nano passed away today. He was a very old bun at 9 years old and we just couldn't keep it up with his increasingly difficult health issues.

As of right now, I'm not asking for consolation or any words of comfort. It's the first time I'm dealing with a loss of this scale, of something I've loved so dearly for so long, that I'll never get back.

I'm still coming to terms about how I feel about it. There were so many times I felt like meeting him was fate. And to be honest, I still do. I set out to adopt a classic white bunny(because honestly that's the only color I had ever seen in the place before) but between all the sleepy or hungry babies there was a little black mischievous boy hoping around and approaching people who gave my finger little kisses and I just couldn't leave him there. We didn't have any boxes or cages to carry him in so he got to pee on my lap on the way home lol

The first time he licked me after that day, something I thought would take ages to happen after lengthy Bunny Research(tm) telling me so, was maybe within a few days or a week, but what made the moment as special as it was for me was the fact I was sitting on the ground, having a breakdown, crying my eyes out. I have a really hard time using the word love to others because I'm never sure of my feelings and I don't want to say it without meaning, but from then on I had never been so sure about how much I loved him.

I have a lot of other stories like that. He helped me learn a lot about myself. He gave me company at my worst. I missed him so much when I had to stop allowing him on the bed to take a nap with me because one day he just decided peeing there was okay. I laid down on the floor on the most uncomfortable positions for the longest time because he had fallen asleep in my arms. I did that this morning, after I was told he might not make it when we went to see the vet today. It didn't even feel like anything was wrong, really. I kinda thought maybe we shouldn't go and I could keep doing that tomorrow. And the day after. And the next. But every time he woke up and shuffled around it was so easy for me to tell he was uncomfortable, trying to find a way to lay down in a way that would ease the pain. He didn't look any different to most people, but I memorized every single kind of motion he ever did.

And it's funny to think that he knew me the same way. He knew exactly what me shutting off the computer sounded like and that it was the perfect time to beg for snacks and attention. He knew when I was hiding something for him. He knew exactly where I walked so he could leave the god damned piss traps in the way when he was mad at me. He knew that if he kept poking his nose out the fence long enough I'd come back eventually to pet him more even if I had already walked all the way to my bed and laid down. And he knew that he could come to me for comfort whenever he felt scared or in pain. He trusted me so much and that meant the world to me.

Just to add one weird, maybe funny thing that's gonna keep me pondering forever; one day, years ago, I wished that I could be the one to take any pain he'd ever feel. Since then, I kind of took note that we'd have our sickest days together, and often in similar ways. It's most likely confirmation bias, but I do like to think I did manage to take some of his pain from him.

Well. My plan was just to share the news and go on with my day. Think about stuff. Couldn't keep from writing this much, though, so I just decided to let it all out anyway.

Again, I don't want any comfort. I will always love him, the things he taught me, and the memories I'm blessed with. I will be okay.

I want the thought of him to keep bringing joy into my life, because that's the thing he's always been the best at. The second best was destroying specifically videogame related cables.

heres some shenanigans to brighten up the mood :]

and here's a cute pic from years ago as well 🐇💞

[nooling]

Hey, I'm sorry if this may be out of nowhere / weird - I found a very old Tweet of yours that mentions you having dyspraxia. I don't know if I have it, but I'm struggling with a visualization problem that people seem to think is either that or is related, and was wondering if you had any insights into your process and how you deal with it (especially in terms of anatomy)? Your work is fantastic!!

Thanks so much anon! Really sorry this took forever to get back to, irl stuff got kinda mad. Also I’ll admit I’ve never really thought about it before, so this question got me examining how I’ve learnt. Here's what I've found helpful:

I don't know the specifics of what you're struggling to visualise but with me, I have aphantasia (which means I don't really think in clear images- if at all) which combined with ADHD means that making thins as simple as possible is the only way I can draw without getting frustrated and giving up.

Practice: Not a glamourous answer, I know, but repetition helps build muscle memory. Draw the same thing over and over again, especially if you avoiding something (I avoid hands lol) because it usually means it’s what you need to work on most. Start with a specific thing, eyes, skulls, legs etc. and fill pages with them. Go nuts. Draw noses until you can’t bare to look at peoples faces anymore- then draw more. After a while you’ll get an eye for what looks right and what doesn’t while drawing. Don’t need to visualise when you’ve filled 5 pages of feet and will probably draw them in your sleep.

Simplify Shapes: Complex objects can be broken down into simple shapes. Instead of visualizing an entire body, think of it as cubes, lines, and circles. Planar sculptures of bodies and heads are great references because they simplify everything.

Use 3D Models: If you struggle with visualizing a pose, use a 3D model. There are websites and apps that are free, some may let you pose the model, others will just have pre-made poses. I use Clip Studio Paints 3d stuff when I’m stuck on things (usually hands).

References: Another boring answer but: use references. You might need to pose and take photos of yourself, having a mirror on your desk is super useful for referencing yourself. Watching other people draw can give you new ideas, youtube, streams and tiktok are all good to just watch how artists you admire approach drawing.

Learn the Rules: Knowing the basic guidelines about body proportions helps, how many heads high a generic person should be to look correct, the arms should fall to mid thigh etc. Remove the need to try and imagine what something looks like and replace it with knowledge. Once you’re comfortable, you can start to break and play around with them

Consider Getting a Teacher or joining an art group: Not the most accessible option but a teacher can provide valuable critique and explain difficult concepts that are individual to you. Otherwise find an online or in-person group where you can ask questions and get feedback. I’m self taught so it’s not essential but having had teachers for animation, I improved 100x quicker from having people explain specifically the mistakes I was making rather than trying to power through it myself.

Most importantly, find a way to make it fun and there’s no correct way to approach art. If something works for you, then keep doing it.

[hatboyproject]

First, you are a legend. Second, I have finally broken down and started playing thru the ME trilogy thanks to (a) my ability to take a sabbatical, and (b) a friend buying me the legendary edition, and (c) threats of violence from my loved ones should I not play it. I've finished ME2 and I am 100% not booting up ME3 if there's snowball's chance in hell that the LE version of your mod is dropping any time soon.

*sings* you're not our bitch and you're not a machine * I'm a fic writer, I expect nothing. And I know this stuff takes forever and I 1000% expect the answer to be 'no' but the only thing I am inquiring is whether there is an updated ETA for your mod. OR if you have need for a legendary edition beta tester. OR if I can send you cash money to help offset the time being spent on a labor of love. OR if I should say -f- it and get my hands on the original edition of ME3 so the hatboy mod you've already (gloriously) provided us, works.

Also thank you for giving me hope that I will get to play a Shoker option, which makes the most sense thematically and narratively and I am aghast at what bioware chose to do with Joker (and EDI, wtf). You're doing god's work.

Just this week, I got some of the updated synths I've been waiting for, but I'm still waiting on BroShep.

I am still working on HBLE, don't you worry! In between writing fic myself, doing a painting, and a playthrough of ME3 to refamiliarise myself with its pacing, I have been going in and putting some necessary setup stuff in place, which is all very boring and un-exciting and not really showcase-able. Big chunks of the structure have been built, but most of the audio work has to be done, still.

In the OT, a lot of work had been done before I had the ability to read a line to the synth myself and have it transpose the voice directly, which noticeably improves delivery. So much so that it is difficult to use a lot of the previous edition's takes. This has the knock-on effect of the line needing to be re-animated because, of course, the timings of everything are now different with the new audio. There are very few lines whose takes will not be re-done.

Fortunately, however, I have my lipsync automation tools, and I'm much better at animating now than when I started. So it takes a lot less time this go-around... but still time!

Sadly and wonderfully, this is a massive mod and is much more than just a straight port. If it was a straight port, it'd have been done already. I would apologise for that, but I like to think the end result will be worth it, haha!

I am adding new content this time, including an entire conversation about his sister that you can unlock by completing some vanilla dialogues.

I am so glad that you've been enjoying your time with Mass Effect and that my mod is on your list of things to do. In what I am sure is the most shocking statement of the century, I agree that Joker is the most thematically satisfying romance for Shepard. I can't wait to get it to you! I promise, I am doing my best and there's nobody who wants it in your hands more than me.

Regarding testing, it's not quite in a state where it can be tested just yet. A few conversations work (first convo, EDI body convo, EDI discussion, some ambients) but nothing else yet.

Regarding supporting me, I do have a Ko-Fi. You can find a link to it in the pinned post, and donations absolutely do help my creative efforts, and I go a little feral when I see someone has donated. But as always, I want to make it clear; The Hatboy Project is free and will never be gated in any way. Everyone gets the same release at the same time. All you have to do is own a legit copy of the game... Which you already do!

Excitement like yours helps keep me going. Thank you so much.

Edit: lmao my link is not in my pinned post lol rofl it's hatboyproject.ko-fi.com tho

[atopearth]

White Album 2 Part 9 - Coda (Kazusa True End)

I am finally up to Kazusa's True End!! Anyway, it was nice to see Kazusa's perspective, just as Kazusa sleeps defencelessly, so does Haruki lol. Knowing that Kazusa left a recording for Haruki telling him to go to the concert so she could give up on him and all the other stuff made me realise even more that this concert was very very important to Kazusa. She steeled herself with conviction towards their relationship, her hope for the future in piano and with Haruki and convinced herself to do the best performance she could for Haruki and Setsuna but they both didn't come, how could she not be devastated? I'm glad to finally see Haruki break and let Kazusa realise how he probably does love her. Considering how Haruki's first thoughts when Takeya and them congratulated him on his engagement was Kazusa's feelings, it's obvious where his heart lies, but it's cruel for him to keep dragging this on. I guess one of the reasons I like Kazusa so much is because I can relate to her feelings of being too afraid to go forward but also being too afraid to give up so you're just stuck in the same place forever knowing that you can't go back but not having enough courage to continue. Haruki confessing his love to Kazusa after calling her out for being terrible and useless as a human being just felt so fitting haha, I couldn't help but want to cry. She really is helpless and as I've said before, Haruki could never abandon her and I could never as well, I will always choose Kazusa and I will always love her more than Setsuna, just as Haruki does. The moment Haruki chose to propose to Setsuna with uncertain feelings, it was deemed that he would have to suffer the consequences whether it would be the breakdown of Kazusa or Setsuna. Even though I feel bad for Kazusa considering how difficult it must be and how difficult it must feel to think that she's basically ruining Haruki's "perfect life" because he's choosing to give up everything for her, but really, he did this to himself and should accept responsibility for proposing to Setsuna in such an insincere way.

I'm actually quite glad that Haruki asked her to make a choice between choosing to live on by herself or to be with him, because in the end, this is their choice. Just as he will have to live with the consequences, Kazusa will also have to live with this choice and she needs to decide whether she thinks it's worth it and whether she can take it, and if she is willing to live with regret too regardless of the choice. Sometimes I wish that Haruki and Setsuna never got back together properly, then this wouldn't hurt Setsuna as much but it is what it is. I kinda wish Setsuna's True End was set here instead, because I can see Haruki choosing Setsuna instead of Kazusa at this point of the "last date" because he is once again confronted with how much he loves Setsuna and how great she is towards him. But I guess it wouldn't be dramatic if we don't dump Setsuna cruelly lol😅 The flashbacks were difficult to sit through considering Haruki's resolve back then and now. It actually broke my heart to see how emotional Hamada was over Haruki resigning, and I think it was worse because Haruki really saw himself working here for the rest of his life and I'm sure Hamada saw that too and that's why he was so frustrated that Haruki wouldn't give him a reason considering how long they've worked together. It was heartbreaking to watch, especially since it's so hard to find a superior that cares about you so much. With Touma Youko putting it like that, it really is hitting me how much Haruki has to sacrifice to be with Kazusa. He is literally giving up on his life to protect hers, and Youko's right, he will be able to protect Kazusa but Kazusa isn't strong enough to protect him so life will be very very difficult for him from now on, especially since he will lose all his friends, his job and the country he's familiar with. I know I like to give Haruki a lot of crap for his decisions, but when he says something like all he needs is Kazusa by his side and he'll be fine, he doesn't need her to protect him and she can just sit next to him playing get piano all day and he'll be able to take care of everything, I can't help but want to cry. Haruki might not be very strong especially when someone like Setsuna babies him, but when it comes to Kazusa, he always steps up to do whatever he can to protect her. Honestly, shameless as it is, if I was Kazusa, I would stay in Japan even if it hurts Setsuna. There's nothing more important than being beside your mother whom you love in your last moments and supporting her when she needs it most.

Even though I don't particularly like Io and she's definitely wrong about Kazusa, but I really don't blame her because she's seen how Setsuna has been throughout the years so of course she's on her side. However, unlike Haruki and the others, I personally can't really ever forgive Setsuna for making a move on Haruki back in high school knowing Kazusa liked him and then forcing all three of them to be together because she liked it that way. Yeah, Setsuna doesn't deserve this right now, but Kazusa didn't deserve having to suffer through that either, I'll never forget how Setsuna acted like a victim on the rooftop crying to Kazusa basically forcing her to accept their new relationship when she knew and was positive of Kazusa's feelings. I admit that Haruki didn't present himself in a great way (not that he was trying to since he was ready to take all their hatred and lose their friendship) but he didn't deserve the disdain from Io. She may not agree with his choices and she has all the right to hate him and not be his friend anymore but seeing her berate him really hurt and I'm really glad Takeya protected Haruki. I actually cried because Takeya was willing to go against Io for Haruki. He always tries his best to protect Io but I'm so happy that Takeya always chooses Haruki if he has to choose between protecting one. He's the only one who understands Haruki's weak side and the only one who always does his best to support him and care for him when he's emotionally distraught. I think what irks me the most is how everyone sees Setsuna as this angelic being that has done nothing wrong when she's been frustrating too. I do agree that Haruki was the root of all problems considering he cheated on her but they also have to understand that Setsuna also caused a lot of these things to happen. Honestly, the more they say that Haruki is making the wrong choice by letting such a good woman go, the more I cheer for Haruki because I feel like for once, he is finally choosing for himself who he truly loves. Back in high school, he went with Setsuna because she confessed to him. When they got back together in university, alot of it was due to Takeya and Io constantly pushing them both to get back together rather than they themselves truly desiring to be together. I feel like they would have benefited from a true break from each other rather than being together but not together for so many years tbh. Anyway, it sucks that because they aren't Haruki, they will never be able to truly see how he can choose Kazusa, but at the same time, this isn't something an outsider will ever truly be able to understand and accept. I won't even deny that I'll probably be the same as them as cheating is never something truly forgivable.

I think the disappointment and anger of Setsuna's parents really made me falter though, because if Setsuna was my daughter, I would probably want to hit Haruki haha. Considering how Setsuna's parents are, I guess they couldn't do it, but I felt bad for Takahiro because he really trusted Haruki and yet he hurt Setsuna like this. It might be funny for me to say this, but I personally love the Setsuna that honestly expresses her feelings, her selfishness, her grief and her thoughts the most. She always feels so much more real and understandable, and it's really in those times when I'm on her side😅 I feel bad for Kazusa though. She feels helpless towards Haruki's decision of giving up everything and feels like she can barely console him when his life is falling apart for her. It's ultimately his decision but knowing that you're the cause will always hurt. One thing I'm very glad about is that Haruki isn't using sex to escape from his feelings like he usually does. Anyway, I binged the rest because I was getting tired of it all lol. I guess it just became too dramatic for my liking. I could deal with Kazusa planning to ruin her hands to atone for "stealing" Haruki but I honestly have to say, it's so dramatic you would think it's the end of the world for everyone, and maybe it does feel like that, but it isn't, because people should be living for themselves. Anyway, I think the memory thing with Setsuna irked me the most along with the getting hit by a car thing, like seriously can we stopp is all I could think about sorry, like I know it was supposed to show how in the end, Setsuna will always prioritise Haruki and Kazusa's feelings more than anything else but yeah, I was honestly tired. It's just frustrating because I really enjoyed how the story navigated through everyone's thoughts, reactions and emotions towards the break up, but I found Setsuna and Kazusa's roles and emotions quite lacking even though they're the main people involved lol. Youko is such a kind and sweet mother, I really want to believe she'll live to 99 and get to watch over Kazusa. It was nice to see Setsuna sing and play the guitar but yeah I do have to think this ending was underwhelming especially since as usual, Kazusa herself really takes the back seat in her own route and ending. Despite the fact that Haruki chose her, the whole ending barely felt like it was about her and instead was more focused on the consequences of choosing her which I still enjoyed of course but I wanted more Kazusa moments to make me think yeah this might be the wrong choice, but this will always be the choice we decide on because she is worth it. I really felt that when we were at the scene after she broke down after Haruki didn't go to the first concert. Honestly though, I just wanted a bit more time with Kazusa because I felt like we were deprived of it.

Overall, I liked Kazusa True but I feel like it had a lacking conclusion, or I guess more of a lacking representation or showing of their relationship? It's like after all the drama, we never really got to see how happy they were with their choices, like we see the conclusion of it but we don't really see much of the relationship itself. However, what I really enjoyed and what was done really well was Haruki's indecision towards whether he was really ready to give up on everything for Kazusa, and then when he made that decision, we could really see the consequences of those actions. We saw his life slowly fall apart as he lost every single thing that was a part of his life and that he loved and we got to see the reactions of all the people important to him when he made this choice. Honestly, the "break up" with Takeya hurt the most and made me cry even though I think picking Kazusa is what Haruki would have chosen, but I do have to admit that him just basically taking care of Kazusa as a manager of the agency overseas felt very underwhelming, I guess it's true that if he picks Kazusa, his life literally just revolves around her which I find rather boring since I feel like he has dreams for himself that he should pursue and that aspect of it makes me think being with Setsuna really is the "ideal path" as they say because it truly depicts a normal and successful life where he has a beautiful and supportive wife with a growing career and just living as "you should" rather than on your desires and what you cherished in the past. Anyway, it was a good route but I have to admit that the romance wasn't what moved me, but instead the emotions of all the side characters.

[purplesurveys]

1861

What was the last bad thing that happened to your phone? Not really bad per se, but getting a notice in the middle of filming something that I had no storage left. I'm a hoarder through and through, so even though I have files backed up and even have Google Drives to store my photos in, I like keeping most things on my phone and I'm very familiar with running out of space haha.

What are your plans for tomorrow? We have an all-day team building thing. The company even booked a hotel for us overnight, so I'm here in my room right now while taking this.

Have you ever been with someone while they were throwing up? I honestly can't remember if that's happened. I'm usually the one they accompany lol...

What kind of outfit are you wearing right now? Sweatshirt + sweatpants. I'm savoring this moment now because I'm in a hotel and the aircon is freezing and this will never ever happen anywhere else this time of the year lmao.

Would you go out in public right this moment? I am technically in public right now.

Who was the last person you talked to on instant messenger? My sister. I was asking for photos of the dogs earlier because I was missing them.

Have you ever done something illegal with a family member? What about with your best friend? Hmm. Probably.

Would you rather get high or get drunk? Drunk.

Would you rather get pregnant at too young an age or never be able to reproduce? I don't want kids, so.

What was the last thing you cooked? Can it be the last thing I reheated instead because I don't cook? Hahaha. Spaghetti from Jollibee.

What were you doing 45 min ago? Playing Rhythm Hive.

What will you be doing in 20 min? Changing into my sleeping clothes for tonight.

What did you do yesterday? Worked, played my game, and for like three straight hours I watched videos from this local vlogger that I really really like. I actually already started watching his stuff months ago, but then he disappeared from my algorithm never to come back. I suddenly remembered him yesterday so I looked him up and saw that he had been posting new videos the whole time, so last night was dedicated to catching up.

Did you get a full 8 hours of sleep last night? Nah. Never on weekdays as I do revenge bedtime procrastination.

Have you ever gotten alcohol poisoning? I would never drink that much in one go to be at risk of alcohol poisoning.

Are you in a good mood right now? I'm feeling pretty damn great lmao. I'm in a hotel, I'm taking surveys, I have a plate of macarons beside me, I don't need to worry about work tomorrow since we'll be team building-ing...it's all lovely.

What’s the hardest thing you have done all week? Get through a meeting with a difficult client. He's so negative, never once seemed grateful, gave very strong know-it-all vibes, even his own teammates were on edge around him...I never thought a meeting could be so soul-sucking until that happened, and I honestly wish the deal would fall through or that the event we are planning for them gets cancelled. Not worth it.

How did you feel when you woke up today? LOLfuckit's9:30andIoversleptwhydidIoversleep

Do you want to see someone at this very moment? No.

Think of the person who has hurt you the most in the past year, who is it? My mom.

Do you think two people can last forever? Sure.

Do you find it in your heart to forgive? No.

Last person you talked to on the phone for longer than 5 min? Idk, that doesn't really happen a lot. Maybe with my dad? it's always more a call between him and my mom, though. We kids just chime in from time to time to greet him and such.

Are you a morning person or night person? Night.

Did you go out or stay in last night? It was a Tuesday evening, you best believe I stayed in haha.

Who was the last person in your bedroom? My sister, if I remember right.

Are you afraid to tell your true feelings? Doesn't it always depend on the situation? I'd feel more hesitant if I'm not around people I'm super close with.

Can you honestly say you’re okay right now? Sure.

How has this past week been for you? Nothing out of the ordinary.

Do you currently have a hickey? No.

Did you ever lose a best friend? Yes, I have.

How many piercings do you have? Just two, but I never have anything on them anymore.

Do you bump into someone’s arm if you want to hold their hand? No...

Are you listening to music, if so, what song? Continued from last night. Nope.

Favorite part of summer? My birthday.

Where was your default picture taken? A museum in Makati.

What is your middle name? Eh...

What color underwear are you wearing? Beige.

What color shirt are you wearing? Orange.

Ever had a near death experience? Not really.

Have you ever kissed in the rain? I don't know. Probably?

What is your natural hair color? Black.

Could you handle living with the last boy you texted? No, I barely know them.

What are you excited for? Seeing my dad again, traveling to Vietnam, and getting the notification for Jin's first live back.

Have you been to the beach this year? Yes, twice – both related to work but it's fine haha. The first time was at a TVC shoot that needed to be set at the beach; The second was our team bonding day where Leah invited us all to her beachside house.

What makes you happy? My dogs, day offs, and BTS.

Anything happen to you within the past month that made you really happy? Sure. My birthday happened and my birthday is always one of my favorite days of the year; that's one.

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking weed? Yes.

Held hands with anyone in the past month? I don't think I have. I've linked arms with my grandma since she needs help walking now, but we haven't held hands.

Would you put your life on the line for anyone? Yes.

When’s the last time you did something you knew was wrong? Three seconds ago, lol.

Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now? Doubt it.

Are there any bruises/cuts on your body? No but there is this very uncomfortable knot(?) on the right side of the back of my neck right now that is preventing me from bending my head to the right.

How late did you stay up last night? 2 AM, as usual.

Do you want someone to call you right now? Not really.

Are you a loud person? With the right people, I can be.

Are you a shy person? For the most part.

Does it take a lot to make you cry? No. I was crying uncontrollably the other night over BTS videos.

If your parents didn’t like the person you were dating, would you lose them? Depends on the person, I'm guessing. With my last ex, I imagine I would have fought for it. Hard to imagine with anyone else since I've never dated since then.

How’s your heart lately? Steadily working its way towards peace.

How was Saturday night? Pretty uneventful. I dyed my hair and stayed in.

Will you be in a relationship in 4 months? No.

Are you tan? Yes.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months? I did. Nearly 20 times that length.

Think a lot before you fall asleep? Sometimes.

[daydreaming-sunflower]

Honest hour asks! (Hi DayDayie, love you!)

Do you have something that you collect? (kind of inspired by all your lovely textures - if you can call them that - in your journal)

What is one trope that you can go back and write again and again no matter how much you've done it?

How did you figure out/how did it come about that strawberry and sunflowers would be part of your aesthetic in a way? (again if you can call it that, but know I assosiate both with you, also bunnies!)

Where is one place in the world that you'd love to travel and who would you go with?

What is one book you'd recommend? (slyly looking for book recommendations)

omg hiiiiii thank you i love youuu ❤️💘💖

okay here we go (this is so long i appologise adhkafjs as always i have a lot to say):

Do you have something that you collect? I wouldn't say I actually collect specific things on purpose, but when I come across a thing that seems like I can stick it in a journal i WILL stick it in a journal, usually tickets from things, maybe packages from fun snacks, flowers, nice stickers... I wouldn't call myself 'a X collector' but I do like. stuff. ajksdhka

What is one trope that you can go back and write again and again no matter how much you've done it? I mean the obvious answer would be sad artists my beloved, although that probably isn't an actual trope asjdhks so probably hurt/comfort? I feel like no matter what story I'm writing or what tropes are in it, I can always find some space for some tears and cuddles (TM). There is definitely more but this is what immediately comes to my mind

How did you figure out/how did it come about that strawberry and sunflowers would be part of your aesthetic in a way? Okay I am not sure about the sunflowers, actually, I just really like the flowers lol I feel like there was a point in my life when I was like huh I actually don't know the answers to What is your favourite X for many things and everyone kept buying me like roses or random pink flowers for all flower occasions like by default and I was like hm I don't actually like. care about roses that much but if I had a fave flower people could buy me that one, you know what I mean? also might have been influenced a bit by dodie who's to say asjdhkad

I am not like 100% sure that it was JUST this but I actually do have a real answer for the strawberries and that is (fic rec tiiiime) the strawberry milk fic! which affected me a lot as a person and one of the ways was that it somehow made me (despite my ongoing half-emo persona) change my self care and/or dealing with mental health and stuff technique from like. dan howell-esque ugh darkness and edginess (lmao sorry dan that's such an unappealing description) to like hey soft and pretty and careful (speaking of fic rec time, everyone go read my safe space fic askjdkj) and it kinda went from there and turned me into a ray of sunshine (lmao insert the sonic from jen's pfp)

Where is one place in the world that you'd love to travel and who would you go with? God I would like to go to sooo many places I would like to go visit all the wwc friends, I would like to go to the countries in Europe I haven't been to yet, I would honestly like to visit at least one country from each continent at some point but also I really really love Greece for no specific reason and so I am always down to go there and I would either go with the wwc obviously orrr with my uni friends and we would settle down somewhere and live together forever in a queer little commune that is most definitely not a cult ^.^

What is one book you'd recommend? (slyly looking for book recommendations) hhhh it's so difficult to pick one (I'm looking at my 900 page clinical psychology textbook in front of me, wouldn't that be hilarious if I said that) but I am always eager to recommend either: Two Boys Kissing by David Levithan What It Takes by our beloved Jude Sierra OR closer baby closer by Savannah Brown (yes I not so sneakily said three oh well)

Okay that's it!! bye!! <3

[dalishthunder]

Happy valentine's! It's me smile anon :]

It's been a really really long while and I planned on replying much sooner but in short: college life and depression. I'm not back to full power yet, but getting there and I absolutely had to leave a message on valentine's day since I missed new years.

I've been around since the GEO days and I've even interacted before, just never left anything that indicated I'm the same person hehe. That fic and universe will always have a special place in my heart. I binged the whole thing in one day when it was one chapter away from being finished and I laughed and I cried and the ending left me warm and satisfied despite not being into cronus at all. I've read that fic entirely for the humor, the emotions, the dynamic between two characters you've beautifully constructed (and made me gain a new appreciation for, cronus-wise. still a goober, but your take really fleshed him out), and for the background characters who got their own depth and interiority that it made the story's universe come alive. It's one fic that really touched me and I think even affected the way I approach my own creative projects. And then I proceeded to scour your blog for every other thing you've written and have been hiding in your (tumblr) backyard, occasionally whispering 'yippie' ever since lol

Anyway back to what we're both here for, GoG:

ABQKDHWLQ2HEOFUALXHXKCHSKXHICIEKSUCIDOLWIEFOIFIFIFSHQKSHXKSHSKXJ

READER GOT TO WEAR A CAPE AND A MASK AND BE COOL AND BE TERRIFIED!!!!!! I N E E D TO DRAW THAT AS SOON AS I'M OVER MY ART BLOCK

READER GOT TO (ATTEMPT) KILLING SOMEONE ("INDIRECTLY") :D!!! I was wondering when it will be coming to this and yup. Here it is. With Ramattra basically going "Point and I'll kill them" as a show of trust/respect lmao. I am really excited to see how this plays out, if there will be any casualties on their side. How that would make them feel. If it would be difficult seeing themself the same way again after asking for something like that even knowing the person they ordered killing wouldn't think twice about the suffering they'd inflicted. I'm also worried about what will happen when Talon figures out their real identity...

This project started as a two parter and look where we are now. I'd leave a longer more in depth comment but my brain is pretty fried rn ashsh. Just wanted to let you know I'm still here finding joy and comfort in your writing, and thank you for sharing it this valentine since we're celebrating the love and all that :3 Hope you have a good day today!

SMILE ANON MY BELOVED!!!!

Happy Valentines Day!!! Oh my god thank you for sticking around so long! And I'm so glad you enjoyed GEO enough to stay for the ride ;u;

writing GEO was honestly such a huge emotional experience for me beginning to end. It's... one of those ones that will probably stay with me in my heart forever because it was the first big thing I wrote in... a good 9-10 years, and it was filled with a lot of heart (not that my other stuff isn't, I do pour my heart and soul into my other works, but GEO was special to me yknow?) So I'm really glad that you enjoyed it so much

And that's so touching to hear that it's kind of changed the way you view your creative endeavors!!!! At least I hope it's in a good way haha ASLDKJFASLKDFASDFSDF

AUUUGHGHGHOOGHGHH IF YOU DRAW THAT I WILL BE FOREVER IN YOUR DEBT OH MY GOD

And yeah baby's first murder... Ramattra is so proud

But in all seriousness there's gonna be a lot of emotions in the next chapter and I'm so fucking pumped for it... (if my hands and brain would cooperate and type)

I hope you also have a wonderful day!

[nabooro]

Hello again! Thank you so much for answering my last questions - I have some more nâdune/cânsag related ones, if that's alright! (I thought I'd put them all in this ask since they were (kinda) related to each other):

So first, do you have any ideas on the origin of the nâdune and cânsag? I vaguely recall that you might have mentioned it at some point but I couldn't find the post again if you did!

Second, do you have the Order of the Sanctuary at all in your canon? I think it's something that's mentioned like once in Legends that the handmaidens were traditionally trained there.

Thirdly, what do nâdune/cânsag after the monarch's full term? Obviously, Padmé's followed her into later politics but not all monarchs go on to continue working in politics.

Fourthly, does anyone else other than the monarch have nâdune/cânsag - like, politicians that were never a monarch, or even members of the upper class or the old families?

Fifthly (because I kept thinking of questions as I wrote this ask), do you have surnames for the other, lesser known handmaidens that are mostly just named on the wiki and don't have surnames? (You might not consider them canon in which case don't worry lol)

And finally (sorry for all the questions lol), is there a term for nâdune/cânsag that's like neutral, so you don't have to say nâdune/cânsag each time?

(Also, if it's not cheeky to ask, if I were to write something using your ideas and credit you, would that be alright? Going through this blog has really inspired me to write handmaiden stuff and I would love to, although I completely understand if you would prefer I didn't!)

Dé sorud! Thank you for entertaining my enthusiasm lol

Hi! I'm so sorry this took absolutely forever to answer, but uh... I have no excuse. I saw the ask, went 'I'll get to it later', and then did not get to it later. Apologies!

To answer your questions:

I have talked about it a little bit here, in the post on enshué, which I suppose is a little unlikely to be where to hunt for it. But tl;dr, the origin of canâk (this is the answer for your last question also!) is just simply the need for security and bodyguards, especially in politically turbulent times on Naboo. If there are five queens in five speeders or whatever the risk is split in five, etc etc. The ritualisation of the canâk and it sort of combining with the facepaint to become a sort of "one face one name" thing happens later, connected to other sociopolitical developments on Naboo.

I... have to say I have never heard of the Order of the Sanctuary 😅 When I say that I don't follow Legends and so on, I really mean that. I'm sure there is some form of training given to the handmaidens, but I don't imagine it's a specific Order or in a specific location - more varied and depending on time, age, people involved, and so on. The process is not as formalised in Padmé's era as it once was, and that reflects in other things.

So I always imagine that canâk can just... quit. I personally love very much the crisis of wearing somebody else's face and somebody else's name, and I think the process would really take something out of you that you may not be able to get back. Nonetheless, I think some of them try. And they can quit! They are allowed! It is just a job, even if it also isn't. I think those that quit in difficult circumstances probably have a bad time of it in public opinion, and I think possibly there may be assassinations and so on if someone tries to quit in term, but after their term as handmaid is over, they are free to leave and do... whatever they want. Whatever other people on Naboo do, I guess. They probably have benefits, given that it's a high-risk political position. A pension plan. Lifetime healthcare.

That's really interesting! I think they can, like nobody's stopping them, and particularly paranoid ones might - but I think it would be more difficult for them to find sufficiently loyal people, unless they've had someone with them since they were young. The position of canâk is not an easy position to occupy, whether that's because of risks to your life or because of the loss of individuation inherent in it. If you're doing it for the ruler of your people, you may be willing – but how many people are going to be as willing when it's just some rich bastard? ...lol. Which is to say: yes, but it may be more difficult, and they'd probably have to pay really well.

I don't have surnames for all of them right now, though I could probably kind of arbitrarily assign surnames to them. If you'd like to hear some other surnames you want to hear about or want to think of some kind of thematic ones, that'd be interesting!

The term is canâk, which I didn't come up with until after I'd written the post on nâdune. The word just means "disguise", but can handily be applied to the people who wear disguises or act as bodyguards in a disguised form – though not, I have to say, to those who wear facepaint for religious orders.

Finally: yes, of course! I'm always happy to answer any q's that may come up while you're playing with these little figurative sandcastles. If you want to write handmaiden stuff, please do - and I'd be thrilled to read it also!

Thank you again for your interest, sorry this took absolutely forever! Dé sorud!