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randomfoggytiger · 4 months ago

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React: A Late-Canon Reviler Gives the Revival a Try (Founder's Mutation), Part II

This is gonna be quick and dirty because my keyboard’s acting up--

IT’S A CONTINUATION FROM MY STRUGGLE I?????????? NO WHY NO, PLEASE NO.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--

WHY do those glasses not fit anymore?? If Mulder lifts his eyebrows, they don’t even touch his cheekbones. But they were fine last episode, what happened.

Mulder reminding us about William in yet another opening monologue. I may have the memory of a goldfish, Mulder, but I don’t have brain damage.

I’m already so tired.

Narration, narration, sudden voice change and drop, “Bringing Scully and I back together”-- okay, that’s straight-up David's voice.

Oh, good. A bloody eyeball. How marvelous.

If this is the brain Morse Code episode, I will throw hands.

I’m Dr. Sanjay. We’re both too tired.

WHAT’S WITH THE SHAKY CAM AS DR. SANJAY DETERIORATES.

I’m not gonna be nit-picky… okay, I am.

The X-Files has a certain style, aesthetically. Because of that, one has to operate inside the rules in order to cleverly bend them. Shaky cam AND close-up break two rules back-to-back.

This "modernization" isn’t a limbered stretch so much as a spinal dislocation.

Ghost in the Machine and Blood 2.0, I see. But worse.

The “Sanjay losing control” scene is… not too different from similar 90s ones.

But that’s the problem-- the visuals have updated, but not the method. And that leaves us with the impression that the director or screenwriter or both are either amateur or outdated.

It’s also incredibly cluttered and confusing. Not confusing in a way that would expertly translate the meltdown in Sanjay’s brain, but confusing in a way that bombards us, the audience, with compounding “lost in translation” errors.

Okay, welp, he’s dead.

WHY do Mulder and Scully sound so old? Was it absolutely necessary to suck the life force out of the actors every time they walked on set? For Pete’s sake, I’ve heard more life in David’s voice while reading a Lexus ad.

Okay, DD’s picking up a bit, and GA’s compensating with her expressions but none of this is engaging.

Minor nitpick-- and I know both actors complained about wardrobe later-- but the second Mulder gets pants that fit him and Scully remembers to finish buttoning up her top, the sooner I’ll get a glimpse of the old show. Just sayin’.

His pants will eventually swing to the opposite tragedy, copping a feel while forcing him to do a little Marilyn Monroe shimmy.

I shall call them Patriarchy Pants.

Scully knows Indian?

She really is the series’ language OC, isn’t she.

Mulder got this informant to trust him by flashing his puppy eyes. I mean… it’s always worked on Scully.

Speaking of which… where’s Scully?

I’m wracking my brain, but I thiiiiiiiiiiink it’s consistent, even pre-S9 canon, for Mulder to sneak off and fill Scully in later. So, no complaints. I think.

What is it about the comedy scene that didn’t work…?

Hm.

‘Kay, so, if this guy (Gupta, looked it up) is no longer a repressed homosexual-- like he chastises Mulder for being-- then why was he so skittish in the bar?

He didn’t know Sanjay was dead, so therefore he didn’t know he was in danger (note from the future: he isn't in danger... which explains his skittishness even less.)

So, is his jumpiness because of repressed or hidden homosexuality? But he says he's out and urges Mulder to come out, as well.

Perhaps he's saying one thing and living another, i.e. pretending to be out and proud to save face in front of Mulder.

But then... that would be the comedy in this scene-- that he would have to eat his words (ex. another guy opens the door on them and Gupta makes a big fuss trying to cover up the homosexuality of it all-- “no homo” dialed up to 11, etc.)

So, he was either scared to be on a hit list-- yet wasn’t aware he might be on one-- or scared of being outed-- yet didn't signal this in his actions or dialogue.

If this is Gupta’s only scene, it was a waste.

It was a waste of an introduction, regardless. But.

Oh, Scully’s doing an autopsy, got it.

Characters are playing by their strengths, got it.

Also, forgot to note, Mulder sensing the guys in the bar were bad news points to his years spent on the job. A great touch.

…Unless, now that I think of it, Gupta invited him to a gay or hookup bar, consequently making Mulder look like an out-of-touch old buffoon. Which… fits his characterization in My Struggle I, but I hope for better things.

I didn’t see any tension in Scully’s arms while pulling the instrument out of Sanjay’s ear, but, ya know, there weren’t perfect moments in OG canon, either.

Gupta’s still here, okay. (DD getting away with a bit of humor by having Mulder act slightly out-of-place chuggin down in a bar-- I see you.)

IT IS A GAY BAR.

MULDER’S AN IDIOT, CONFIRMED.

“He lived two lives.” Okay, that’s f-- “In two separate places.” NO, no, nonono-- get back over the unsubtle line before I whip out the broom, shooshooshooshooshoo.

Wait, why is Mulder explaining the autopsy results instead of Scully?

Even when he had a… siiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

Even when Mulder had a brewing theory in mind, he always let Scully explain all her results before asking pointed questions, hearing her findings, then crafting a theory and running it by her.

Here, Scully says, “I broke fingers to find words on palm"/"instrument went into these parts of the brain” and Mulder says “It went in at that angle then turned at this angle"/"[insert theory].”

When it SHOULD be: Scully explains fingers and cause of death, Mulder points at the pics and asks why the instrument’s angle changed, Scully says “it went in 90 degree angle then turned 60 degrees”, and Mulder concludes “Like he was hunting for something.”

The shots widen out or cut back for shock value, it seems. Sanjay’s body is shown obliquely until Scully says she “looked everywhere” for clues, which prompts the camera to cut to a wide shot and hang on his sawed-open skull. The timing’s oddly comedic, the music is light, and nothing about the scene meshes. It quickly pancakes, leaving us and the characters with dead (heh) air.

The dialogue leans “we’re gonna do this next” telling rather than natural conversation showing.

And-- I’ve gotta be frank-- I’ve not caught an ounce of chemistry from DD and GA aside from the scene where they were talk about phone stealing and Indian languages.

The car scene contributed nothing... except a kid accidentally fell over the hood. Reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal covert set-up, I tell ya.

Sanjay’s other apartment scene was… weird. They walk around, find pictures of experiments on kids, barely react, trip the silent alarm so the police show up--

Sorry, no, wait. The police show up ASAP, in THIS part of town? NAH. Not happening.

Okay, the scene where Mulder has a… brain… thingy WORKS because it uses just the right amount of “new trick”: closeups without disorienting lens action slapped on top. THAT’s how you integrate a modernized technique into an older show; and it fits seamlessly into The X-Files.

SO WHY DIDN’T THEY DO THIS FROM THE GET-GO?

Also, Scully may have had cancer, but she never had migraines. Those seem to be reserved for Mulder.

Oh, we’re in Skinner’s office now. I guess.

The clips are so poorly paced, switching or holding or integrating at the weirdest times. It even undercuts Mulder’s quips or Scully’s reactions.

On a side note, DD and GA probably had a hard time finding their characters-- as they mentioned for both IWTB and the Revival-- because all they had to work off of was plot regurgitation. ....What do you do with that?

I love the touch of Skinner playing hardball until Corporate Interest Guy leaves, then immediately switching to, “I assume you’re going to need [classified] copies, right?”

…

…..

…….

Scully really doesn’t have much to add, does she?

OH, we’re in the basement now. We're just... here. The first scene of these two back down here and they're just. Here. ...'Kay.

Mulder and Scully talking over his experience is the closest I’ve gotten to mature MSR… and it’s ruined by Scully stating the obvious, “There were no sounds. I didn’t hear anything.”

LOOK, OKAY? Mulder became CATATONIC before with these exact same symptoms and was only saved by a secret science mumbo jumbo brain surgery, WHY ISN’T SHE WORRIED. It’s equivalent to her getting a nosebleed and just wiping it away, no big deal.

“Mulder, what are you hiding?”

He’s not hiding anything, Scully, he’s telling you.

But if he were, that’d be outta character even for Beanpole Sneakybritches. By this point, he’d have a functioning theory to share with the class-- which he did, lest we forget.

...Or developed a taste for Hercule Poirot drama while holed up in depressed isolation, I guess (which you left him to, Scully; so this is your fault, tangentially.) Which would be stupid.

(Note from the future: He was hiding something, but it didn't make sense how he leaped to that conclusion, anyway; so, logically, he has nothing to hide from her in this scene.)

But when's that stopped the show before?

“What are you hiding?”

“Sanjay heard sounds right before he died. It could be you, Mulder.”

WHAT.

Scully and Mulder established in the lab that Sanjay heard noises right before he died.

Mulder heard noises.

Tells Scully in the basement.

Scully: “I didn’t hear noises.” No reaction.

Scully: “What are you hiding?”

Mulder explains his frequency theory.

Scully doesn’t see how it fits.

Mulder: “What are you hiding?”

Scully: “Sanjay heard sounds right before he died. It could be you, Mulder.” No reaction.

PLEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE END MY SUFFERING.

16 min. in.

Been typing nearly an hour (a dying keyboard’ll do it to ya.)

“This is dangerous,” Scully says, flatly.

“When has that ever stopped us?” Mulder asks, brightly.

He is quite literally trying to pump life back into her-- WHO directed GA this way? You can tell which scenes she is given freer reign in (more natural, less muted) and which ones she is more tightly “guided” (less alive, more dead.)

How is she spry enough to be a field agent? How is Mulder? Skinner hasn’t aged a day but these two have been MOWED. DOWN. DD and GA aren’t like this in real life, so what gives?

Our Lady of Sorrows, go away.

It’s Karen Kosseff except it isn’t.

Mulder and Scully sneakily scare the daylights outta a Conservative-adjacent medical personnel with the dreaded threat of an “Obamacare” witchhunt... and at this point, the social commentary seems performative rather than intelligent.

I’m not gonna break it down by politics; but suffice to say, while Mulder and Scully were never above a little “campaign of misinformation”, but they've never stooped low enough to fearmonger-- in fact, they looked down on those who did.

CC-- he wrote this episode, too, right?-- turned them from FBI agents with ethics into Secret Agents with a dose of Krycekian immorality.

Just when I think I’ve “found” MSR, the writing snatches them back from me.

…And ANOTHER THING.

Ever since IWTB, Our Lady of Sorrows has been an awful, horrible, no-good, close-minded facility stuffed to the brim with egos and bottom-of-the-barrel intelligence. At least they’ve been upgraded from “let the kid die” psychopaths to “OBAMACARE?? INVESTIGATING OUR SAINTED, CONSERVATIVE COLLEAGUE????” Which makes them stupidly impressionable and stupendously ignorant of the law. Which they would know… because it affects their hospital.

There’s no hint (thus far) that Scully has some dirt on them and maneuvers them into compliance by hinting at certain shortcuts they wouldn’t want investigated. No. Instead, she weaponizes their faith-- calling the guy they want to interview a “godsend”-- despite sharing it, and despite taking all matters of belief very seriously; then lets Mulder slip in the Obamacare line because… Conservative medical professionals would cow in the face of that implication instead of, I don’t know, stonewalling to protect their ranks?

It’s such a silly, nonsensical line.

I just want old Mulder and Scully back, is that too much to ask for?

And the lady almost stonewalled, anyway. It was pure luck that Scully pulled the right emotional strings.

UGH.

“I’ll agree to relay a message,” Not-Karen says… then walks off before asking what that message would be. …Sure, fine, that makes sense.

Pregnant teen or young woman and….

And….

WHAT, IS THIS A CONTINUED PLOT POINT???????????

ANOTHER PREGNANCY PLOTLINE?????????? DO THE POWERS-THAT-BE NO LONGER HAVE ACCESS TO TUBES OR JARS OR WHATHAVEYOU TO GROW THEIR EXPERIMENTS, OR DID THEY ALL COPYPASTE THE EVES' AND DR. PARENTI’S VERY SPECIFIC NICHE?????

Hate the camera angles, too, uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh.

Used and abused women, dismissed young mothers, callous Catholic hospitals…. It’s so… vitriolic. And all so poorly handled.

“Desire is the devil’s pitchfork,” oh, great, the Catholic nun? lady is eeeeeeeeeeevil, who would have knooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooown--

WHY. DOES. MULDER. SOUND. SO. OLD.

No wonder DD and GA think the series isn’t really about happy endings, they were shuffling around like geriatric Eeyores half the time.

Scully pushing back against Mulder protecting her from the incubation theory right after he tells her the incubation theory: in a word, disjointed. She needed to confront him BEFORE he spells it out to her--

…My brain melted and I lost the thought…. Wait…. Nope, it’s gone.

“Is this what you believe happened to me, fifteen years ago? When I got pregnant, when I had my baby?” WWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAT.

“Mybaby”??????????? After all this time, MY BABY.

WHY ISN’T GA ACTING APPROPRIATELY, SHE’S GIVING US NOTHING DESPITE BEING THE SOLE EMOTIVE PERSON ON THIS TEAM.

IF THAT LINE IS MEANT TO IMPLY SHE’S CREATING DISTANCE WITH “MY BABY” BECAUSE SHE THINKS MULDER IS DISOWNING WILLIAM, YOU’VE NOT ESTABLISHED, AT ALL, THAT RETICENCE IS PART OF HER SELF-PRESERVATION-- NOT ONE TIME, SINCE THE REVIVAL STARTED.

AND IF THAT WERE THE CASE, SCULLY WOULD HAVE ACCUSED HIM DIFFERENTLY: NOT FLAT AND TIRED, BUT FLAT AND ANGRY. WHERE’S SCULLY’S ANGER THAT SHE’S HAD FROM DAY ONE, THAT SHE LOST RIGHT AFTER EXISTENCE SAID HAPPILY-EVER-AFTER????????

GIVE ME GUMPTION, GIVE ME SPIT, GIVE ME FIRE, GIVE ME RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION!!!!

SO THEY ABANDONED THE INCUBATOR TALK TO TALK ABOUT HER REGRETS, I GUESS.

THERE WAS NO POINT A TO POINT B, WE’RE JUST HERE NOW.

I don’t mind the rehash-- Mulder and Scully both had a habit of doing that, back in the day… but I’m not getting any of MULDER or SCULLY from these two… Revival robots.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, this is the “what could have been” episode. Thanks, I’m gonna hate it.

“Do you think he could have been an experiment?”

“I don’t know,” GET OUTTA HERE, ACTUALLY GET OUTTA HERE.

MULDER’S WHOLE ARC IN ESSENCE-EXISTENCE WAS THAT HE KNEW THE MATH ADDED UP TO BEING WILLIAM’S FATHER (though the writers did their best to obfuscate that issue) BUT WAS AFRAID SCULLY’S BABY WOULD BE BORN WITH SURPRISES. INSTEAD, HE WAS A NORMAL, HEALTHY BABY; AND MULDER CALLED HIS SON A MIRACLE BECAUSE OF IT.

BEFORE SEASON 9 RETCONNED IT, ANYWAY. BUT EVEN THEN, WILLIAM WAS UNDENIABLY HIS MINI MULDER.

Even in IWTB, how many years later, Mulder still considered William theirs.

Also, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait.

Pause.

Rewind.

Stop.

Mulder misses William but had to put that “behind him.”

That. has got to be. The most. antithetical statement to Mulder’s character that I have ever. Ever. heard.

You can’t have it both ways, CC: Mulder can’t be pushed by the ghosts of his past into wrecking his and Scully’s relationship, twice (IWTB and the Revival), while also putting HIS CHILD behind him.

nnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOnonononononNONONONONONONO.

THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. THAT MAKES NO SENSE.

YOU’RE A LIAR, A LYING LIAR LIAR FACE.

THAT’S NOT MULDER.

MULDER WOULD NEVER SAY THAT.

SCULLY MIGHT, BUT EVEN THEN SHE’D STILL BE LYING TO HERSELF.

Scully was shattered into a million pieces in My Struggle I, and Mulder is obliterated in this one.

How.

Absolutely.

Lovely.

Also, again, Scully isn’t emoting fear or terror for her son. At all.

NORMAL SCULLY VOICE??????????????????????????????????

NORMAL. SCULLY. VOICE????????????????????????????????????????

WHAT.

I’M, I’M, WHAT.

FOR THE FLASHBACKS, BUT NOT FOR THE SERIES????????????????????????

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

The cutback from the flashback-dreamsequence-whatever to Scully just… sitting there. Not napping. Not dreaming, just. Thinking, I guess.

But the sequence was obviously a dream, so.

Can you imagine if she snapped upright from her dream, possibly at her desk? The gifs sets that could have been made mirroring this moment to Mulder’s nightmare in Paper Hearts.

THERE’S THE SAME “OPEN THE DESK DRAWER TO SEE A PHOTO” MOTIF, TOO.

...WHY IS THAT ASSISTANT WALKING LIKE SHE'S ON A CATWALK?

That actress said, “This is my big shot, I’m gonna stick out” (literally), and dressed to kill.

…Or she’s a piece of commentary on the Evil Scientist Doctor and the male gaze, or something.

Guys, no facility would have kids kept behind glass cages for their entire lifespan.

That’s dumb.

Scully tells the scientist he’s testing (trying to isolate) for alien DNA. He shows them out.

Agnes (the teen or young mother) got killed and her baby taken, of course.

At least Scully’s no longer pretending medical people aren’t stealing babies or creating mutants, I guess.

I GUESS.

Mulder had to wiggle his way over to the printer because his Patriarchy Pants (first sighting!) are too tight. (Told you his fashion swings in the opposite direction.)

Mulder said, “This is my skinny jean era”, and I think I’m traumatized.

Syndicate wanted to colonize the world with alien-human hybrids, says Mulder. And though it was unsuccessful--

(HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT)

--he doubts they stopped trying.

So, that sweeps away the Supersoldiers, I guess.

Since, y’know, the Revival said the aliens were never involved to begin with.

So it was just the government making a hoax of the government hiding aliens but pretending they weren’t but really were but weren’t.

Got it.

What did Scully’s study about all European men being traced back to three individuals in the Bronze age (that’s a reference to Shem, Ham, and Japheth, isn’t it CC?) have to do with Mulder’s point other than for her to talk about her study.

An illustrative hypothetical:

Mulder: “Everyone loves juice.”

Scully: “I read a paper last year that found the three most favored juice flavors tie back to the Whirligig tastebud genome.”

…’Kay.

I HAVE FIFTEEN MINUTES LEFT, LET IT EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEND.

Jackie (Evil Scientist Man's “insane” wife) doesn’t like cats and threw an apple at it. …Why’s there a loose cat in the “mental asylum”?

They put in the spooky track from the original show-- the tinkling symbol sound-- when she recounted her daughter breathing underwater, but I liked that bit.

Good filming, good bit.

Jackie was being used for experiments, crashed her car, was forced via the brain thingy to cut her child out, the end.

…Oh, right, this plot was supposed to be about Sanjay.

My bad.

You forgot, too, didn’t you.

…Why doesn’t Jackie like cats again?

(Note from the future: Jackie feared her biological daughter because she had supernatural abilities; and ran away hoping to save her son from the same experimentation and fate. ...But her son? (or her daughter?) already had powers and forced her to cut him out??? by manipulating her brain????????? to find his way back to his sister??????????????? Even though he was a baby??????????????????? (She still doesn't know this and wishes she could see him again...????????????????????????????????????????)

This is such a BAD. SCRIPT.

It has no direction, it swings wildly from topic to topic, nothing really connects together, it’s all… nonsensical garbage.

Mulder gets closeted at a gay bar, the Catholic lady hates men and thinks unwed mothers are damaged, women are made to cut babies out of their stomachs, Mulder put William behind him, Scully has a waking dream instead of a sleeping one, aaaaaaaaaaaaand… Jackie hates cats.

No, you will not get a logical explanation for any of this.

Awwww, look, Jackie’s talking about her missing boy because she thinks about him “every day” but hasn’t seen him since and so does Scully, of course, and Mulder can sense that so he, looks, too, and this case will make him cling to William’s memory again and--

One word. Riverdale.

“All my training-- everything that I know about psychology--” WHAT. Scully, you’re a medical doctor, not a psychologist. Definitely not a psychiatrist.

So Mulder can read x-rays with medical accuracy, and Scully can read Indian and diagnose someone’s psychological state.

Great.

Just peachy.

By the way, if you’re wondering why Mulder keeps getting bumped into or keeps peripherally noticing janitorial staff at each location, here’s your payoff (NO, IT WASN’T HAMFISTED, YOU JUST DIDN’T NOTICE THAT THIS WAS A PLOT POINT AT ALL, IT'S SO CLEVER):

The janitors work for a larger company that also services the hospitals. And Sanjay’s company.

….Eh? Eh? Clever isn’t it??

NOITISN’T.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, so the kids are dying and inadvertently killing… off… their… parent? Or something? Or the reverse?

(Note from the future: Jackie feared her biological daughter because she had supernatural abilities; and ran away hoping to save her son from the same experimentation and fate. ...But her son?-- or her daughter?-- already had powers and forced her to cut him out??? by manipulating her brain????????? to find his way back to his sister??????????????? Even though he was a baby??????????????????? And she still doesn't know this, hoping to see him again someday...????????????????????????????????????????

THAT DOESN'T EXPLAIN WHY THE TEEN/YOUNG WOMAN WAS ALSO FORCED TO CUT HER BABY OUT AFTER BEING HIT BY A CAR, per the baby's instructions. Because that's what the episode says happens.

DO THESE ALIEN BABIES HAVE SOMETHING AGAINST VEHICULAR MANSLAUGHTER OR WHAT????)

Guys, this is dumb.

Mulder’s stupid sunglasses.

But he looks goofy overall, so I’ll CHOOSE to be endeared rather than angry or petulant.

(IchoosethisIchoosethisIchoosethisIchoosethis--)

Wait, why does Mulder keep getting affected by the brain thing?

More importantly.

The episode is setting up a few, blatant parallels:

These parents are having brain problems.

Their kids are experimentation kids.

William's probably an experimentation kid.

Which is stupid, but would then prove Mulder is the biological father.

They will sacrifice this parallel to the plot but also because Scully, not Mulder, ends up being the one to communicate constantly with William.

Which would prove William-Jackson is still Scully's biologically.

(Note from the future: This complete theory is debunked in about two seconds; but will be recycled later for Scully's Morse Code seizure. Wonderful.)

It’s all.

So.

Stupid.

Stupid sunglasses.

I…

I died laughing.

Guys.

I’m gonna include a clip because it’s so goofy.

Context: Mulder’s brain thingy is acting up, so Scully has to run around to find a kid-- Kyle-- so he’ll… help? her partner. Hence, we have Gillian trying to keep up her Revival smoker voice whilst running off and shouting, “KYyyYYyyyyYYLLllelleleee”:

This is The X-Files.

Weep and gnash your teeth in torment.

This is old.

Sorry, Mulder’s ears should be busted by now. Gimme fic where he now has to use hearing aids.

They grabbed Kyle and stuffed him in the car.

Ahh, this is the scene where Mulder looks back at Kyle and someone mentioned it looks like Mulder looking back at William in another, better universe (post here.)

Okay, so, this kid doesn’t mean to hurt people by communicating with his mind, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut was or wasn’t responsible for Sanjay’s death (who was helping him.)

Scully decides “LET’S PRETEND TO HAND HIM OVER TO HIS EVIL SCIENTIST DAD IN ORDER TO FIND HIS SISTER” and that sounds reasonable. As reasonable as a starving pig at a pie fair.

Wait.

The kid was a janitor.

Sanjay was helping him.

Sanjay was working for Evil Scientist dude.

Sanjay was trying to figure out where the kid's sister was, or he knew where she was but wasn't telling the kid?

The kid-- Kyle-- accidentally killed Sanjay because his... powers were outta control?

And... the kid can connect with different people's minds and that's how he hacked Mulder's brain (which retracts my biological theory... until, again, Scully's Morse Code seizure reinforces it.)

But the kid attacked Mulder when Mulder and Scully questioned his (adopted) mom... didn't he already know who Mulder was?

And the kid kept pressuring Sanjay to find his sister, so much so that Sanjay hadn't been able to sleep well or function in weeks?

So, this kid's... questionable, at best.

Evil Scientist, M.D., pretended to introduce the kid to his sister, but Kyle wasn't BAMBOOZLED nor FOOLED.

Oh, btw, this kid is Jackie’s son. Looks an awful lot like William-Jackson... but anyway. (Jackson's storyline is brazenly ripped off from CC's own material, wow-- right down to the "never saw my son again" line. The writers have charming things to say about adopted families in The X-Files.)

Now he’s running around the hospital looking for Molly (the sister who scared Jackie because she can breathe underwater, etc. etc.)

Reunited with Molly.

Now the kids are throwing the adults with their minds and killing Evil Scientist Badman with the brain thing in order to stay reunited, I guess. Like the Eves. (Another rip-off recycle of their own source material.)

SO, anyway, the Evil Scientist Father died a very gruesome death.

Cut to the place swarmed with FBI.

Another guy said, “Skinner, keep your sfjfkfsdfksj behind the red tape.” I think. Can’t understand him.

Guys, this is the first Mulder-and-Scully posturing I’ve seen since the series began. Praise be, they’re not mannequins.

Here's the Mulder and William "could have been"s.

See, guys? His faith is back. He’s choosing to remember his son and reengage with his past~.

Yeah, and where did THAT come from.

To recap:

Mulder had depression sometime after 2012, so bad that it made Scully… leave, I guess (which would have been a death sentence for someone with a temperament like Mulder’s.)

But he shouldn't have had depression after 2012 because 2012 just reset the Colonization clock (according to he, himself, and his theory.)

So, he’s got "no reason" depression, then disconnects from Conspiracies and shoves away memories of William.

But he hadn’t had a breakdown or disconnect from reality before My Struggle I (which made Scully’s decision to leave even stupider.)

And Scully worries he’ll have a breakdown in My Struggle I.

And he actually didn’t leave Conspiracyville despite also leaving it and knowing things he shouldn’t and not knowing things he should.

Following?

Conspiracy guy calls up Skinner who calls up Scully who calls up Mulder; and he and she don't hesitate to investigate despite putting “that life” behind them.

There were no aliens, period, only men in government wearing suits or planting false memories or whathaveyou.

He’s still got depression but doesn’t, actually, in My Struggle I despite Scully thinking he does and worrying he’ll have a breakdown despite knowing he left Conspiracyville; but also won't be coming home, etc. etc.

Both are let into the FBI.

Still following?

He put William behind him but engages in conspiracies now (despite still engaging in them while not engaging in them-- you get it.)

Let me reiterate: Mulder. put someone that he loved. behind him.

Mulder makes peace with the thought that William’s his son regardless and daydreams about movies and rocket ships.

And that’s that on all his hangups, I guess. His crops are watered and his depression is cured.

And now he and Scully are installed at the FBI... despite the unlikelihood either of them would pass the physical tests, let alone the training they'd need to requalify. To put them on the field otherwise would be very, very dangerous... right, Skinner?

The End.

Just make this easier for me next time and beat a bat over my head.

I do have another nitpick.

Mulder is too downcast in his “happier times” flashbacks, especially compared to Scully’s buoyant, sweet, upbeat persona. So, basically, he has a stunning lack of imagination, I guess.

Which, jokes aside, is an interesting thought: Mulder creating realities in his mind so convincingly mapped onto his current one that it’s even more devastating to snap out of them and face each and every unsatisfying day.

Also, both he and Scully have the same sort of nightmare....

This had BETTER be Jackson’s way of reaching out to them for help, or so help me I’m going to label these moments as narrative clickbait.

EYYYYYY, we got an actual Mulder “NO!” It sounded like him, too! FINALLY! SPIRIT! SPUNK! THE MULDER ESSENCE.

Oh, yeah, that William can get yeeted-- he doesn’t fit my headcanon, anyway.

Mulder's sitting upright, too, without having woken from a nightmare.

…So this was a deliberate choice on the filmmakers’ part.

So this is setting up for something. Like William communicating to them BOTH in waking dreams.

We all know that won’t happen, but, anyway.

CONCLUSION

YOU’RE NOT GETTING ME WITH THE HAPPY FAMILY TIMES, YOU MANIPULATORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

YOU CAN’T TAKE ME ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE.

Also: very rarely do I like movie kitchens, but Mulder's... is alright.

Lastly: again, I am so tired.

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

#txf #React #mine #A Late-Canon Reviler Gives the Revival a Try #Part II #S10 #Founder's Mutation #Revival Reviler's first-time watch through #Revival #x-files #the x files #xfiles #Mulder #Scully #William #first-time watch through #thoughts #xf meta #uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh

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siriusblack-the-third · 10 days ago

Text

September 1st, 1991: The Sorting

“Potter, Hadrian.”

Harry mentally cringed at the use of his full name, but stepped forward amid whispers suddenly breaking out like little hissing fires all over the hall, suppressing the urge to twist on his heel and run out of the castle to avoid the students that were suddenly getting to their feet and clambering onto the tables to get a look at him; he was not the second coming, Pete’s sake.

“Potter, did she say?”

“The Harry Potter?”

“Oh, he’s my younger sister’s age—”

The last thing Harry saw before the hat dropped over his eyes was the hall full of people craning to get a good look at him. He took a breath, and waited.

“Hmm,” said a gruff voice in his ear. Harry very nearly jumped out of his skin. The bloody thing was speaking in his head! “Well, of course I speak in your head, child, do you want to have this conversation out loud? Difficult. Very difficult. Plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind either. There’s talent, oh goodness, yes— and a nice thirst to prove yourself, very good, now that's interesting… So where shall I put you?”

Harry gripped the edges of the stool. Not Slytherin, not Slytherin.

“Not Slytherin?” The voice sounded amused and exasperated in equal amounts, as if the Hat had dealt with more than enough people making that demand. Harry felt his cheeks flush, but he straightened his back and thought as clearly as he could: no, absolutely not. “Are you quite sure about that, lad? You could be great, you know, it’s all here in your head, and Slytherin will help you on the way to greatness, no doubt about that…”

Not Slytherin, please.

“Think about it, Hadrian,” the Hat drawled in a cajoling manner, and Harry grimaced at the use of his full name. He still had not gotten used to the fact that his name was Hadrian, not Harry. Living with the Dursleys, he really had not been called much other than Boy or Freak, and the only reason he had found out his name was Harry was that the Dursleys were legally obligated to educate him. All this to say; he kept forgetting his proper name was Hadrian and not Harry. “You have enough resourcefulness, cunning and stubbornness to be a Slytherin. The house of Serpents will offer you everything you need to achieve all of your goals. Are you sure you want to give that up?”

Malfoy is in Slytherin, Harry thought dourly, and the Hat barked out a sharp laugh— a painful sound that made his brain do a record scratch. “You’ll meet unpleasant people in every House, Potter. The trick is learning how to deal with that sort, and what better place than Slytherin to teach you that?”

But Voldemort—

“Oh, do shut up, child,” the Hat snapped, and Harry blinked in shock at the sudden outburst. "You’re a fool and a half if you think that one murderous idiot being in a house makes the entire place bad. Stop arguing, and better be SLYTHERIN!"

Harry closed his eyes. He sucked in a slow breath, then reached up to grab the thrice-damned Hat by its point and ripped it off his head, blinking his eyes open and taking in the eerily silent sea of students and stunned teachers. He stepped off the stool and set the Hat down, inclined his head at Deputy Headmistress McGonagall in a bow, and turned back to the Great Hall. Everyone was staring at him with wide eyes and slack jaws, and he clenched his jaw as he swept a quick gaze over the Slytherin Table. They, at least, had the presence of mind to not gawk.

Bugger.

So much for "Not Slytherin".

#harry potter #harry james potter #slytherin harry potter #harry in slytherin #ficlet #harry potter au #harry potter ficlet

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live-from-flaturn · 1 year ago

Note

I humbly request The Great Halloween Tranq Dart Incident with the prettiest of pleases.

For those of you wondering "wtf does this mean?" please check out This KimChay Prompt Fill for context!

tw: tranquilizer dart/symptoms of sedative

wordcount: 1k

Title: "Where is the Batman?"

“Who the hell are you supposed to be?” Kim asks, gesturing at his eldest brother’s three bodyguards. Pol, Arm, and Pete are wearing color-coded outfits complete with short capes and matching witches hats.

Pol does a little spin to show off his spring-green suit and the vines wrapped around the base of his hat. “I’m Fauna!”

“I’m Flora,” Pete waves. His burnt orange ensemble is an exact copy of Pol’s except for his hat, which is covered in pink and orange flowers.

Arm does some of the least enthusiastic jazz-hands Chay has ever seen, his blue cape fluttering slightly as a result. “And I’m Merryweather.”

“AND I’M PRINCE PHILIP!” Tankhun announces, strutting down the hallway in a pair of enormously puffy sleeves and tailored slacks. “They’re the three good fairies.”

Pol elbows Pete. “There’s a joke in there somewhere.”

“Hey!”

“Well it’s true,” Arm adds.

Tankhun shushes them and turns to Kim and Chay. “You two look amazing, by the way!”

“Thanks,” Chay grins. Kim is ninety-nine-percent sure his boyfriend is blushing furiously under his cowl. It’s Porchay, for fuck’s sake. “Kim helped me with the makeup.”

“I like your mask,” Pete says. “You’re supposed to be Anne Hathaway’s version of Catwoman, right?”

Kim nods his assent. “It’s custom.”

“And he helped pick out this awesome Batman outfit!” Chay pipes, holding out the edges of his cape like the original comic logo. Kim stifles an indulgent smile – these costumes had technically been his suggestion, after all. He hadn’t wanted to state out loud that he’d been paying close attention to Chay’s new advantage in height, but that didn’t stop it from being true. “Isn’t the cape sweet?!”

“Super sweet,” Pol agreed. “Now, shall we head for the ballroom?”

—

Chay leans into his boyfriend’s side and whispers, “I’ve never been to a fancy Halloween party like this before. Will it be scary?”

“No,” Kim shakes his head. “Kinn planned it ‘to be fun’, so you don’t have to worry about business people showing up. It’ll be mostly off-duty bodyguards, staff, friends, and family.”

“Awesome.” Chay is hugely relieved. He follows Prince Tankhun and the three good fairies into the ballroom. Kinn and Porsche approach them.

Chay barely holds back a snort of amusement. “Hia! What are you wearing?!”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Porsche huffs. He tries to cross his arms over his chest, but the gesture is interrupted by his fancy bra (made from two artfully bedazzled shells).

“I’m Batman, and Kim is Catwoman. Isn’t he cute?”

“Meh, he’s alright.” Tankhun floats past the conversation only long enough to add. “He’s got a flat butt.”

“Phi!” Kim hisses, not unlike a cat.

“Sorry not sorry!”

Kinn chuckles and rolls his eyes at Chay, “Brothers, am I right?”

“Totally right, P’Kinn.” Kim and Porsche watch in horror as their boyfriends fist-bump. “So, what’s the pl–”

Chay’s question is cut off by a quiet scuffle near the door. Kinn excuses them both and scoops Porsche into his arms, hurrying to investigate. Kim and Chay stay put, chatting and joking. Everything is normal until Kim jolts forward and slaps a hand over his left ass cheek.

“What the fuck?” Kim lifts his hand to show Chay a small green tube. “Babe, I am so sorry for whatever happens next.”

“P’Kim?!”

“It’s a tranq dart, and my immunity for this isssss,” Kim trails off with a giggle. His eyes glaze over and he slumps more of his weight onto Chay. “Sssssss. That’s a fun sound.”

“Shit!” Kinn jogs over. “Did it hit him?”

“What do you think?” Chay deadpans as Kim continues hissing quietly through his teeth.

“Okay. Right. Let’s get him upstairs.”

“Good idea.”

—

It takes Chay, Kinn, and two of the three good fairies to yank Kim free of his heinously tight pleather outfit. “Next year we’re going to do something less complicated.”

“Do you expect Khun Kim to get tranqued at a Halloween party every year?” Pol jokes.

“Hey!” Kim complains. His eyes roll around the room, searching for one particular face. “Where is the Batman?”

“Hey babe,” Chay steps forward. He’s already swapped into pajamas and wiped (most) of the dark makeup from around his eyes. “I’m here.”

“It’s Bruce Wuce!” Kim exclaims with a theatrical gasp. “I mean Bayne Wayne!”

“Bruce Wayne?” Chay offers. His boyfriend tries to snap his uncoordinated fingers, but mostly they slide uselessly against each other.

“Yeah! That guy.”

“You can just call me Chay,” he offers. Kim pouts adorably up at him and Chay waves the bodyguards out of the room. “Please ask someone to send up green tea and snacks, but otherwise I can handle this.”

“Are you sure, N’Chay?” “Oh yeah,” Chay laughs. “Do you know how many weird things I’ve heard Porsche say on morphine?”

“I want to hear about this,” Pol says. Arm agrees.

“Soon, but not right now.” Chay giggles. “Thanks again for helping me with P’Kim.”

“That’s literally our job.” “Well I appreciate how well you do that job. So there.”

“Ugh, how are you related to Porsche?!”

“Go,” Arm shoved Pol toward the door. “Leave the lovebirds alone.”

“I would be an owl,” Kim declares, startling Chay with his unexpected volume. Arm and Pol stifle laughter, hurriedly shutting the door behind them.

“What would I be?” Chay asks, taking a seat on the edge of the mattress. Kim scoots awkwardly closer and squints in concentration.

“Hmmm… A plover.”

“Why?”

“Small.” Kim cups his hands together to demonstrate and thoughtfully adds, “Fluffy. Good at surviving.”

Chay’s throat threatens to close up. Well, it does until Kim speaks again.

“Shoes are dumb and we shouldn’t have to wear them unless it’s for safety reasons.”

“Huh?”

“Slippers are okay, though.”

Chay bursts out laughing, and Kim joins him at a much higher pitch.

Kim falls asleep after tea and a snack, and Chay sits next to him with a smile still pulling at his lips. “Weirdo. Cute, but a weirdo.”

#kimchay #kimchay prompt fill #thank youuuuuu #this was so much fun #kimchay fluff #halloween in august #sedative tw #kim being goofy #kim on drugs

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bubblespalace · 1 year ago

Text

Haunted Halloween

@moonlightkenobi I hope you enjoy this! Please ignore any typos or grammar mistakes, I did my best but I couldn't catch it all 'cause I might not exactly know everything when it comes to grammar yet. <;3 @cbsghostsdaily Thank you for putting together this gift exchange!

Also read on A03: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49767124/chapters/129457186

{I recommend reading on Halloween for a special sense of excitement! You don't have to follow but if you do, it inhances the experience!}

(Slight spoilers for the Purge, Scream, and Nightmare Before Christmas.)

-----

"So what does everyone want to do tonight?" Pete asked with a bright smile on his face as he sat down next to the others on the couch. "We can go smell some of Jay's cooking, we can go watch trick-or-treaters from the boundary..."

Sasappis sighed. "We can listen to you ramble all night." He said with an annoyed tone in his voice.

"Shall we go watch a film?" Isaac inquired. "In the spirit of the season, we could watch something scary."

"Thor like that idea." Thorfinn bellowed. "Thor miss seeing gore on daily basis."

"I do not wish to watch anything with too much blood," Hetty said.

Flower stopped reaching for the 'butterfly' she saw in the air. "Me neither, man! I was always jumpy with horror movies. Too much needless violence!"

Trevor glanced at her. "Flower, you talk about people in the cult locking each other up in a room until one killed the other." She just shrugged in reply. "But I was never a fan of horror films either, I like the college comedy the best."

The jazz singer next to him hummed. "My movie tastes back when I was alive was very different from how it is now. You all know I like anything with Jason Momoa." She paused. "Why don't we watch Aquaman again?"

Sasappis ignored the suggestion from Alberta. "Look, we have two TV's, we can put a scary movie on one and a different movie on the other that more friendly for the kids."

Pete cringed at the name Sass has called the four youngest. "We aren't kids, we just don't want to watch something scary, especially not right now. You saw the story on Jay's phone, right?"

"What is this story you are talking about, Peter?" Isaac questioned.

"There's some psychopath on the loose right now. He could apparently be anywhere." Pete explained.

The Native American man scoffed in disbelief. "I'm sure we're fine. The mansion is in the middle of nowhere. Also, we're ghosts."

"Sasappis right. Not like people can hurt ghosts."

"What 'bout Sam and Jay though?" Trevor weighed in. "They can die or get hurt."

"What are the odds though? It's not like he's contained to one area, like us. He'll pass us by without a second thought."

"Sass is right." Alberta said. "Let's just go watch our movies. Trev, you gotta find something for us to watch and put on something for these four."

"Hetty?" Flower asked. "You're gonna watch a scary movie? For real?"

"Well, I normally will not tolerate gore scenes because of how grotesque they always become. But, I am an adult, I shall be mature and bear it for the sake of Halloween." She said grasping Isaac's arm.

"So it's settled, we will see you after our respective movies." Isaac concluded.

\_____/

Trevor, after many minutes of struggle that both annoyed and amazed the older ghosts, had put on a movie that caught the eye of the four, entitled: The Purge.

Hetty was already skeptical about the title and the image that appeared on the screen, the mask with the eyes crossed out had freaked her out a bit.

She leaned into Isaac, seeking his comfort when somebody on screen was shot at. He, luckily, leaned to her too, grabbing her hand and rubbing it comfortingly. She noticed his breathing was also very abnormal, taking uneven breaths.

Sasappis wasn't exactly comfortable watching this either, no man was an actual man, instead they were all blood thirsty demons in search of carnage. It terrified him. He didn't even find the story too interesting to watch, he found it predictable which character was gonna die next. The gore scared him the most.

They all jumped at a scare on screen. Isaac gasping loud enough to wake up the dead, and Hetty jumping out of her seat. "This is too much! I tried to be mature but I am sorry, my female brain cannot handle this, Sasappis!" She cried. "It's too much for my eyes to bear! I'm going to make my way to bed. I wish you all a good night."

Isaac rubbed his eyes, trying to hide the tears of fear that were there. "Goodnight, Henrietta. Sleep well, my friend."

The other two murmured a goodnight too as she scurried out of the room as fast as she could in her dress.

\_____/

Meanwhile, the others were having the time of their lives. The four has taken to singing all the musical numbers of the movie Trevor had chosen for the group, Nightmare Before Christmas. This movie seemed to have something for everyone, but they all enjoyed the music!

While singing 'Kidnap the Santa Clause', they heard loud screams from the other room. Trevor chuckled, as everyone in the group stopped belting out the lyrics but Flower, who kept singing and dancing on the couch.

"And that is why I hate horror movies." He said.

Pete grimaced. "I kinda feel bad, I mean, Hetty's in there. She can't handle gore. And Isaac's been in war for goodness sake, what if he has PTSD?!"

"If they decide they can't handle it, they'll either come join us, or stop the movie." Alberta reasoned over Flowers's slightly offkey singing. "And I'm sure they are fine anyways, they did want to watch a horror in the first place which meant they had to have known what they were stepping into."

"Fine," Pete said. "I just hope they're alright."

Trevor laughed. "Hetty's tougher than she seems, and Isaac knows it's all fake. I'm sure the gunshot wounds don't even look real."

\_____/

"Why do the gunshot wounds look so real??!!" Isaac screamed. He was covering half his face with his coat in terror. Why, oh why did they decide to watch this?

Sasappis had his eyes wide open and his jaw on the floor. "This movie was made by evil people, pure, pure evil. Who could even imagine something like this?!"

Another person was shot on screen, causing the three men to jump. "No, no, no. That it. Thor not watch anymore. Too scary even for Thorfinn." Thorfinn shuddered.

Sasappis got off the couch. "Yeah, I'm not watching anymore either. The concept is just too horrifying, I come up with my own scary stories and none of them are like that." He looked at Isaac and reached out his hand. "Come on, that's it, we aren't gonna watch anymore, this is nightmare fuel."

Isaac shook his head with distinct hesitation. "I can finish it. I was a captain, I can do this."

Sasappis sighed. Isaac wasn't gonna leave, the man was too determined to finish what he started, even if it meant sacrificing his sleep. "Okay, we'll be in our rooms." He said subtly offering help if needed later.

\_____/

Isaac awoke to a loud crash downstairs. He jolted up in surprise and looked at the clock Samantha kept on the wall.

Who in the world would be up at 3 a.m.? Sure, Hetty had insomnia often, but she couldn't touch things. So what had caused the sound?

Sasappis and Thorfinn peeked their head through the door. "What was that?" Sasappis had asked.

"I have no idea, why are you asking me?" Isaac said in reply. "It came from downstairs."

"What if it dangerous man Pete talking about. What if Purge is going on in world outside?"

Isaac paced through the door and looked at the two of his oldest friends. "I'm sure we are fine, maybe a pot or pan from the kitchen fell?"

Just then, Hetty came racing down the hall. "I was searching everywhere for you three!" She whisper-shouted. "A window is open in Flower and my room. I believe someone might have broken in!"

Isaacs's eyes went wide and the four dead souls glanced at each other in worry. "Alright troops," Isaac commanded, getting back into his old captain mindset. "We shall split up and search the house for anomalies."

"No, you idiot!" Sasappis objected. "Never split up! It's like a death wish!"

"Sass is right. We see movie Scream with Trevor last week. We learn all about the rules."

"There are rules?" Isaac inquired.

"Yeah, you also can't have sex," Hetty blushed and looked down. "You can't drink or do drugs, and you can't say: 'I'll be right back.' You won't be right back." Sasappis explained to the two twin like best friends. "Good thing I'm a virg-" He cut himself off, realizing what he had said. "N-nevermind."

"So it's settled, we shall storm the house together."

The quartet tiptoed down the stairs, being careful not to make a sound. Even Thor kept his feet light, so as to not alert the possible intruder.

Clangs of metal echoed throughout the house, originating from the kitchen. Isaac put his head as close to the door as possible without putting it through.

Another sound came from the study upstairs, making everyone jump. Isaac yelped and almost fell to the floor, but Hetty caught him before he fell flat on his back.

"What was that?!" Sasappis yelled.

Isaac scrambled up out of Hetty's grasp and turned to the stairs. "Someone must check that out too."

Hetty sighed. "Silly rules aside, this is not a movie. We shall be fine going to check it out by ourselves, Isaac. We shall go upstairs and check the library while Sasappis and Thorfinn check the kitchen."

"Alright, don't blame us when you've been gutted like a fish." Sasappis countered.

"We shall be right back," Isaac said before he could stop himself. "Damn my mouth." He muttered under his breath.

Sasappis and Thorfinn stepped toward the door, both glancing at each other uncertainly. "Thor, I want to be a good best friend and insist you go ahead."

Thorfinn laughed. "No, no, Sass. You go first."

"But I insist."

"Thor double insists."

Sasappis exhaled and looked at the door, pausing for just a moment before he stepped through. Thor lagged behind him.

It was dark, but through the dark, they could see a mess in the kitchen. Pots, pans, and ingredients were spilled throughout the room. A red liquid was dripping off the table, and Sass gasped. "Is that... blood?"

"Thor know blood. That is blood." He said, terror seeping through his voice

A man rose up from behind the island, he held a object in his raised hand. "I'm gonna kill you!"

Thor and Sasappis screamed in horror as they ran out of the kitchen, not looking back.

\_____/

In the meanwhile, Hetty and Isaac climbed the stairs. Hetty was grasping onto Isaacs's arm so tightly, it would have stopped his circulation.

Another loud bang came from the room in question, causing them both to cower together. "You said: 'We'll be right back', Isaac. You have doomed us."

"I'm sorry, okay! It just slipped out!"

They fazed their heads through a wall to see what was going on. Inside the dark room, they saw the silhouette of a woman, she was hitting the safe with the sharp end of a hammer.

Hetty gasped and pulled Isaac out through the wall. "We are being robbed! I bet you tonight is a Purge night! We are all going to die!" Hetty hissed, overcome with hysteria.

Just then, Sasappis and Thorfinn came running up the stairs in a hurry. "There is a murderer in the kitchen! I think he killed Sam and Jay! There is blood all over the table!"

"Gadzooks!"

"They killed Sam and Jay?!"

Thor nodded. "Puny man and tiny woman stood no chance."

"Well, there is a robber in this room trying to break into the safe!" Hetty exclaimed.

Sasappis inhaled deeply, trying to calm himself down. "It can't be the Purge. Sam would have told us."

"Sam not tell us things in past cause she thought it would freak out us. What if the same tonight?"

"Whatever it is, what can we even do?" Hetty yelled.

Sasappis and Thor tensed. "You guys," Sasappis said. "Run. There are people right behind you. "

"Oh, very funny Sasappis." Hetty scoffed.

"I'm not kidding run!"

Isaac and Hetty both turned around, not expecting anything, only to be spooked by five shadows behind them.

The four ran down the hall and down the stairs, screaming and yelling out in horror.

"We're gonna die!"

"Let me into Valhalla, gods!"

"IT'S THE BLOODY PURGE!"

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!"

The ghosts stopped running about at the sound of Trevor yelling over their screams. They all turned and saw the four youngest ghosts staring at them like they were crazy. "What in petes sake is wrong with you four?" Alberta asked.

"Sam and Jay are dead!" Sasappis yelled.

"I think we are anything but dead, Sass." Sam said. The lights all flickered on, illuminating the once dark room. The four gazed up the stairs in incredulity, before quickly making their way closer to the woman they though was dead.

"Samantha! Thank goodness you are alive!" Hetty exclaimed. "We had thought the murderer in the kitchen had gotten you!"

Sam raised her eyebrows. "Murderer in the kitchen? Wait back up."

Just then, Jay strode out in kitchen door holding a spatchula. "Hey babe, I finally killed that bug in the kitchen."

"Bug?" Isaac said.

"Yeah, the power went out while Jay was in the middle of making us a late night snack so I went to the safe to grab a flashlight."

Thorfinn pointed upstairs. "Why you hitting safe like Thor used to hit Danes?"

"The lock got stuck again. This time I couldn't get it open." Sam explained.

"What about the blood on the kitchen table?" Sasappis asked, looking over at Jay.

Sam looked at Jay, who was cleaning off 'blood' from his hands. "Sass wants to know why there was 'blood' on the table."

The man laughed. "That wasn't blood!" He explained. "I spilled red food dye! When the power shut off, I started dropping pans and spilling things like crazy!"

"Wait." Isaac said. "You mean, there was no intruder?"

"But my window was open!"

Sam smiled. "I must have just forgot to shut it." She said. "Are you four alright? You look really scared."

Thorfinn laughed, embarrassed. "Thor wasn't scared, tears are from allergies."

"Yes, Sam we are right as rain." Isaac said confidently.

"BOO!" Flower screamed as she jumped out from behind the group.

The four flinched and yelped, Hetty and Isaac jumped into each others arms and Thorfinn hid behind Sasappis who was covering his face with his hands. "Oh my god, we are gonna die!" He yelled through his hands.

"You're already dead! We are already dead!" Trevor said with a wide grin.

Alberta tsked. "You poor babys, you should have come watched a movie with us! Instead of watching that blood-bath you did!"

Sam turned toward them in surprise. "You four watched a scary movie? What was it called?"

"I put on something called 'The Purge' for them."

She turned her head toward Trevor so quick, the ghosts were afraid she would break her neck. "The Purge!? That movie is intense!"

"I didn't know that! They were browsing and saw it, they wanted to watched it so I clicked start! It's not my fault!" Trevor defended himself.

"We really gotta put that childs lock on the TV, Jay." Sam said. "But are you four alright?"

"We shall be okay, Samantha. Just please, close that window in my room."

Sam grinned. "Of course, Hetty. Just remember, we are careful about making sure the house is locked up, we won't let anything happen."

"And The Purge isn't real!" Jay added.

Sam nodded. "Thank you, babe."

And so they all went back to sleep.

\_____/

Sasappis woke up the next morning, eyesight blurry and clouded. He rubbed his eyes and positioned himself so he was sitting on the edge of his bed.

He smiled thinking of the night they had last night. Sure it was scary at the time, but now he looked back on it and laughed. Sasappis set his feet down on the ground and yawned.

He felt hands grab at his ankles from underneath the bed. The native gave a high pitched scream and jumped off the bed.

"Hahahahaha!!! Oh my god, dude that was awesome!" Trevor said, crawling out from underneath the bed. "I wish I could have seen the look on your face!"

"You suck." Sasappis spat. "You suck so hard, I'd slap you if it wouldn't land me in Ghost Court."

"You were so scared!"

Sasappis just rolled his eyes in response and walked out of the room before he did something he would regret.

({[THE END]})

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honda-hatch · 1 year ago

Text

Reviewing A Subsequent Set of 14 Spider-Man Issues

Welcome back, non-existent audience. We begin our return with

The Amazing Spider-Man #15 (August 1964): Our first appearance of Kraven! Not to mention, our first mention of Mary Jane! This one is a thriller. If you haven't figured it out already, I am a fan of drawn-out fights in these older issues, and this one doesn't disappoint, with a drawn-out cat and mouse game in its latter half. I'm not entirely sure how I fell about Kraven's potion stuff, though. Perhaps its the word choice. "Poison" just makes it sound more fitting, but perhaps that was banned by the CCA. Though, I'm not particularly a fan of Kraven having gotten his abilities from a Witch Doctor in a lost tribe, I do prefer him just being a peak human. Chameleon is also definitely underused here, merely calling in Kraven and then helping with his scheme -- it seems as if they wanted to bring him back, but were worried that they would encroach on plot territory they had re-allocated to Mysterio. Ah well. Still a fun issue! Also, we learn that JJJ apparently has a secret stash of milk chocolate bars hidden in the Daily Bugle. Truly deep lore.

The Amazing Spider-Man #16 (September 1964): Overall, this is a pretty solid issue. Spidey decides to go to the circus for the contrived reason of... making sure the public likes him? Which he figures can be confirmed or helped by performing in a circus that falsely advertised having him for free? Whatever. The Ringmaster's hypnosis powers give us a quick tussle against Daredevil, which, while lackluster, at least give Matt Murdock an excuse to appear in the issue. What follows is another fun setting-fight, with the webhead battling a bunch of circus goons. I'm not sure this is "one of the greatest issues I've ever read," as the title proclaims, but I already have a bone to pick with Marvel editorial, so it matters not. At this point, Pete is still fumbling Betty Brant and rejecting the concept of meeting MJ, lmao.

The Amazing Spider-Man Annual No. 1 (October 1964): I'll be honest, I was kinda disappointed with this annual. 72 pages my ass! only like 43 or something are the actual sinister six story, with the rest being random background info blah blah blah. Not to mention, constant friggin ads for other Marvel comics!! Even Pete's existential crisis that block his spider powers felt like an excuse to advertise other heroes while he was trying to get his mojo back. At least his resolution to fight and die was pretty badass. Is this the whole point of annuals? Ugh. What a letdown. The sinister six don't even fight Spidey at the same time, instead they all want to defeat him on their own. We get a whole single page image for each fight, which all look great, but the actual solutions to the fights are lame, because Spidey is more occupied with getting to Betty and Aunt May. They all get arrested again at the end, but meh. At least the art was good, and the idea of May having a crush on Ock is funny. Blegh. Here's hoping future annuals are better.

The Amazing Spider-Man #17 (October 1964): This is a bizarre issue to judge. This version of the Goblin definitely feels more complete, with his bat glider and pumpkin bombs, and the driving plot being Flash's Spidey fan club is amusing, but the fight seems to just spin its wheels. I do enjoy Johnny jumping in to help, but... gah. Aunt May's health failing again does create another fun "city hates Spidey" situation, though. I fear I might get tired of that, however. We shall see!

The Amazing Spider-Man #18 (November 1964): This is an solid little issue. Sure, it technically focuses around Pete being a whiner and not wanting to hurt himself for the sake of Aunt May, but seeing Flash and the Human Torch stand up for him while the public rails at him is nice. Not to mention, it's kinda hilarious that May is the one to tell Peter not to be a pussy.

The Amazing Spider-Man #19 (December 1964): Spidey's triumphant return to crime fighting is another fun issue. Honestly, I'm just really surprised that, somehow, the Enforcers always make for such great fights. Between them and Sandman, this issue has a lot of great action, and because Torch is there as well, we get Montana's newest weapon: "The Asbestos Lasso!" Gotta love the 60s. Anyhow, between the action, JJJ's "a second plane has hit the towers" moment, and the spooky cliffhanger, this is a great way to finish out 1964. Also, Ned Leeds debuts. Surely nothing will happen with him.

The Amazing Spider-Man #20 (January 1965): What a way to kick off 1965! Here we start to see a few things: first off, we get an immediate continuation of the cliffhanger from the previous issue, indicating more of the connected storytelling that will develop. Secondly, we get a lot of great facial reaction shots, especially from JJJ (which apparently Ditko was getting real fond of, between this issue and last). Thirdly, we have our first fight with Spidey having his suit torn up. It's a little touch, but knock-down, drag-out fight between him and Scorpion really does seem to indicate Pete's growth as a fighter -- most of the time he usually comes up with a clever solution to win, but between Scorpion and the Enforcers, it's fun to see him win fights based on skill and reflex alone. Really an excellent issue. Honestly, its going to become difficult to not repeat adjectives as I write these reviews, especially since the standards of comic writing will change with the times -- so just consider that I'm attempting to write in relativity to the period in which I'm currently reading from.

The Amazing Spider-Man #21 (February 1965): This issue is more amusing than anything. The conflict with the Beetle kinda takes a backseat to Peter's personal drama, which makes for an entertaining issue -- they've been playing up the idea of what will come to be called "Parker Luck," and it makes for a fine issue. One of the best parts about the bok is that every character introduced functions both as someone to be put in danger for Spider-Man, as well as someone to conflict with regular old Peter Parker -- even if Betty's shtick of "ah jeez he's pulling other bitches" is starting to get just a bit stale.

The Amazing Spider-Man #22 (March 1965): This... is a bizarre issue. The leading villains aren't particularly interesting, but we get some funny individual panels, such as

But aside from that, if I had a nickel for every time they said "female" in this issue, I could pick up a few more old comics. Also, there's a brief battle with a giant snake? Anyway.

The Amazing Spider-Man #23 (April 1965): This issue is alright. It's another mob story, which have become rather common already. The Goblin once again has a weirdly contrived plan that doesn't really work out, which leads to the highlights of the issue being Peter's new white casual outfit and the fact that he's being passive aggressive at Betty Brant for not mentioning a letter from Ned Leeds -- that, and Pete calls aunt may from a landline in the middle of a fight.

The Amazing Spider-Man #24 (May 1965): This is a fun issue. There isn't much in the way of action, but instead we get to see Peter go a bit insane. Or do we? It's a good thing nobody in his rogue's gallery deals in illusions. It is also definitely hilarious to see Lee commenting, again, on how easily people are influenced by the news. The more things change, the more they stay the same...

The Amazing Spider-Man #25 (June 1965): This one's cover is pretty crazy in retrospect, lmao. Surely its someone's amazing fantasy. The spider-slayer chase itself is rather mundane, but Peter's personal drama sorta makes up for it, even if the book itself doesn't call attention to the idea that Peter, a seemingly-nerdy 18-year-old guy is swimming in women this early on (not to mention, we're getting more teases of Mary Jane). I don't take issue with it, it's just funny in retrospect with all of the "status quo" arguments that get tossed around these days with the character. But that's something I'll get to later.

The Amazing Spider-Man #26 (July 1965): This is quite an entertaining issue. We've drama with Peter losing both of his costumes last time, we've got drama with Liz and Betty, and also... the mob. But they manage to be the most mundane part of it all.

The Amazing Spider-Man #27 (August 1965): This is another solid issue, with Peter having to worm his way out of the mob's grasp, and then the police shooting the villain of the week to death off-panel. What a riot. I would like to make note of Green Goblin's glider on the cover though. Get a load of that.

Anyway, that's another 14 issues read. Admittedly, like old comics do, it is getting a bit formulaic at this point, though I know Peter is graduating high school sometime soon. That's mostly what's keeping me going, along with the promise of the MJ reveal. Onwards and upwards

#comics #spiderman #amazing spider man

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handelplayssims · 2 years ago

Text

Good morning! It’s a work-from-home day! Time to file a legal motion! Markus, however, woke up quite angry at not having any food in his stomach. Time to toddle on down to the fridge to eat. And then glance around whatever is around! And play in the cabinets once more! Mom’s not here so she can’t scold us!

...and then came bills. Holy crap we only have 9 simoelans left to our name. We might, just might, have to move house out. ...but that would be a question for the next session within this household! Anyway, it’s time to head off to the library to go and research our current case. Hmm. Actually no. If we can’t afford this house on it’s next billing cycle, we need to move. Let’s wait and see if we manage to get a promotion with Meredith. Meanwhile, Markus is just getting negative moodlets from being around Meredith. Oh, and he needs to go to the toilet. Alas, I forgot it this time. So after the researching, and Markus yelling at Meredith and her disciplining him back, it’s time to head back home. For the potty!

Well, that means I got both of Meredith’s work stuff out of the way. Now it’s time to see what her whims are! ...Volunteering. Of to the daycare with you, Markus! Unless you can come along, but I doubt it. Yep, it’s just her. TO THE DAYCARE WITH YE, MARKUS! Now second whim is to make 500 simoleans. We’re at 295 with our job. Annnd we just get the inheritence call. The call that means you have to marry if you are a sucker. Meredith is no sucker, she’s a lawyer for pete’s sake! Well not yet but nearly there. She asks for conditions and gets 2 thousand in money. THANK YE. Also fulfils that whim. Nice.

Her next whim is to make a friend but that’s too much investment for such little time. I set Meredith to work on some needlepoint. I purchased cross-stitch hoops at the fair and I’m gonna use ‘em! We sort out one small cross-stich before heading to bed. Meaning it’s time for!

Neighborhood Watch!

Mt. Komorebi: The Mayer household recently moved in.

Junko Saito in the Saito household has started a job as an Engineering Intern in the Engineer career.

Oh, and the NAP passed. I’m going to have to finish off this household now aren’t I? Another early start for Meredith so a breakfast has been made. Her whim was to read with Markus which, that ain’t happening. So she just tucked him into bed and got a “Closer from Happy Memories” sentiment. The sentiment isn’t mutual, funnily enough. And we got the call to go into work. We did everything we asked and yet, boss was still disappointed. But we regained our passion for work! Huzzah! Now let us work hard! Harder than ever! We have fulfilled all conditions for a promotion so let’s goooo! Promotion is got and how much money are we making per week? ...2,280. That’s nowhere near enough to cover this home. I hate to say it Meredith, but we gotta move out of here. Let’s just take what furniture I want and then go! Farewell Pour Ellie. Perhaps we shall return someday.

...and somehow I get 63,888 funds when I move out!? I don’t get it. Anyway, we’re remaining in Strangerville. ...and I am going to double check and see if I can’t move back into this home with all of these extra funds...okay I could move back in but it wouldn’t work out well. I’d be right back with the amount of money I had before. ...it’s probably the value of the food and groceries I have, isn’t it? -deep sigh- Anyway, we’re moving back into what was the Sighworth’s home once. Meredith did stay here, after breaking off her relationship with Ted Roswell.

This home in particular is an update by sleeepygoblin. Meant to house the Sigworth’s, it’s now Meredith’s! Again! Considering I just moved her into Pour Ellie despite her not affording it. Oh and checking the NAPs, Clean Energy is up so I’m adding some roof solar panels and some wind generators.

Anyway, this home is actually affordable on Meredith’s salary. Perhaps one day we’ll make it make to Pour Ellie, but that has to be when we have more money to spare. Anyway, with that, we take care of Markus’s extremely low needs again and Meredith’s as well before we head to bed.

Neighborhood Watch

Landen Faust in the Faust household retired from his job as a Supreme Villain in the Villain career.

Well that was a fast decision.

Mt. Komorebi: The Mayer household moved out.

Brindleton Bay: The Sigworth household recently moved out.

...speaking of the Sigworth’s, there they go. Off to the unplayed households you go! It’s a little bit of a shame that.

Last day! Last day! Time sure flies when you’re spending all of your time at an 8 to 5. 9 to 5 now. Anyway, time to get Meredith’s needs up a little before work. Oooh, it’s the lottery today! If the Sims were super generous...but I’d have to find out when I visit another home anyway. Also I finally remembered that I could practice Research and Debate simply by rehearsing at the mirror. Because her whim is to get a job promotion and we need that skill first and foremost! Anyway, work-from-home day! We need to attend a deposition again and meet a prospective client. I’m thinking of a certain person across the road.

SIMEON. ...honestly I think they would get along fine. Eliza likes the finer things in life.

Anyway, now it’s time for lunch for herself and Markus. Sandwhiches time! And then we go, and see the man across the street! And ask if he’s up for legal representation. Anyway, with all of that, I decide to go and befriend Simeon. Of which, I yak his ear off and do! ...it is only now I realize that his home doesn’t have a toliet. WELP! Time to head to the library! Wait no, we go home, let Markus use his toilet and then we go to the library. Oh, he’s sleepy too. Well, we let him use the toilet, go to bed and then go to the library without him! It’s still time to research up! Gotta get that skill for the next promotion! And level 5 Research and Debate got! Just a matter of putting more time in at this point. Time to head back home and relax.

Meredith’s second whim was to chat with George again. And so begins, “befriend George so that he’ll stop being a criminal!” Annnd he’s flirty and automously flirting with Meredith. Great. Fun. Love it! Markus ran on over and made a mess so he got another lecture and got sent to bed. So after that chatting, Meredith ate some suppper and went to sleep. And that’s all! What a real quick household this was. Again, 8 to 5 job. Makes time fly. So that makes it time for!

Neighborhood Watch!

Jay Barone in the Barone household has died. Shockingly, Jay botched a repair and was electrocuted.

Asher Vogel in the Vogel household has died. Asher was so angry he burst into flames and died.

That’s all for the Roswells! See you all next time for the Wallace family! See you all then!

#sims 4 #Roswell Family #meredith roswell #markus roswell #simeon silversweater #this session did just fly by with multiple days going in a snap with that 9 to 5 #JUST LIKE IN REAL LIFE!#(alas)

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sukirichi · 4 years ago

Note

Breakfast for Choso with ingredients #17 and 34 with #2 sugar? Wine is optional.

EASY

— Nothing is ever easy with Choso, but for him, you’d push through hell and back.

meal order: breakfast + 17, 34 (fake dating, rentboy au) + 2 (enemies to lovers) + biting, scratching, choso eating reader out, sex on the beach

warnings: mature content, unedited fic, choso is mean and harsh when he’s angry

notes: thank you so much for this anon! I really enjoyed writing this and this totally made my day. I hope you like it!

word count: 10k+ LOL CHOSO BRAIN ROT

check out the fanart @tigressnej-chan made, it s so beautiful HURRR

Your day was absolutely ruined. Dark, deep bags covered your under eyes as you stormed through the convenience store downstairs your apartment, body clad in an oversized hoodie and socks visible through slippers, hair greasy and lips chapped. You’re aware you look like a mess, but did you care?

Absolutely not, especially when you haven’t been sleeping well the moment you moved into this cursed apartment because of a certain fucker.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. That specific fucker – the cause of your ruin and the devil who prevented you from living a good life – waltzed inside the store, the small bell chiming to signal his presence. You scoffed at his confident, suave walk, further irritated because he just had to be insanely attractive – in an alternative, laid-back kind of way.

He wasn’t even your type; you preferred more refined men who wore pressed suits and leather shoes, but you had to admit this man was insanely attractive.

With deep, sunken eyes, a dark tattoo across the bridge of his nose and dark hair twisted into twin ponytails, large, muscular body covered in a black sweatshirt and a red scarf – he looked very much like a former member of a gang who retired because their barbaric ways wasn’t his thing. It was an odd theory, and you sat there at the corner of the store, glaring at the man who tiredly pressed the coffee maker machine for a dark roast.

As if feeling eyes on him, his lazy eyes slid over to yours, and almost automatically, one corner of his lips tilted up in humor. This fucker knew how much he annoyed you, and he only further pushed your buttons by walking over to you, the steam of his coffee nearly blocking your gaze.

“Good morning,” he greeted sarcastically, well aware that it definitely not a good morning for you.

“Have fun last night, neighbor?”

“Yes.”

“Jeez, you won’t even bother denying it?”

“I see no point in it,” he invited himself by sitting next to you, long legs crossed over his muscular thigh. You found yourself staring at how he seemed so firm even in loose sweatpants, averting your gaze and staring at your soggy ramen noodle cup instead. “And you’re not trying to hide the fact you’re listening, either.”

“I wasn’t listening!” you slammed your fist down the table – he didn’t even flinch, only continuing to sip his coffee as if you weren’t burning in anger beside him – as you hissed, “The walls are too damn thin and you’re so fucking loud.”

“No, I wasn’t. She was loud, though.”

Scoffing, you crossed your arms against your chest. He really was shameless. You already knew this man didn’t have enough shame in his body, but you didn’t think he’d have absolutely nothing.

Upon witnessing your stupefied state, he reached over to knock at your skull. “Still there, princess?” you cringed at his nickname for you; you didn’t even know this guy’s name, for pete’s sake! “Or are you still too bothered by the fact I got some good fucking last night?”

You flicked his arm away from you, nearly seething in your seat. “God, you’re insufferable. I should move out.”

“Yes, I think that would be for the best too,” he nodded to himself as he stared at his now empty coffee cup. Had it been that long already? Apparently, it was, because your noodles turned cold and your neighbor was already leaving your seat, dipping for a mocking bow. “Have a nice day, neighbor. Don’t think of my cock too much,” he teased, even going as far as winking until your jaw dropped.

You watched as he threw the paper cup in the proper bin, a little surprised he was decent enough to do mundane tasks like that. Sometimes, it was so easy to forget your neighbor was also a decent human being, but whatever.

You absolutely, utterly hated him, and you kept mumbling to yourself of the different ways you’d get your revenge on him as he walked out the door, his annoyingly gorgeous ass in view. “Yeah, right,” you scowled to yourself, “As if I can get that image out my mind now.”

He would not be an easy feat.

Despite your constant pleas for him to at least be silent during the weekdays to give you enough peace of mind to study for the finals, he didn’t stop. Hours just after the sun sets, you’d hear giggles and sloppy kisses on the hallway.

No matter how much you pressed your hands into your ears and set your music on full volume to block out the noise, you could always hear them.

Your neighbor was undeniably a fuckboy.

Every night, he’d have a different girl dangling in his arms. You knew, because the voices squealing his name while he fucked them right next door were always different. Some days, it was deep and throaty, and on other days it’d be high-pitched and nearly scraping at your ears. They all said the same thing though, such as fuck, right there, you feel so good or harder, harder, please, I’m so close!

To say you were traumatized was an understatement. You never wanted to hear such things again, but alas, your neighbor apparently couldn’t give a single shit because he was fucking someone again.

As if things couldn’t get worse, the person he brought home this time around just had to have the most fucking annoying voice ever. Or maybe it sounded like the others, but you were in the middle of memorizing veins and brain chemicals in alphabetical harder when you heard the headboard of his bed slam against your wall, the sound hard and loud enough you dropped your book in surprise.

They didn’t stop. If anything, he kept going harder until nothing but his low sexy groans and his partner’s screaming – that was right, she was fucking screaming – like she was having her insides rearranged.

You didn’t doubt the possibility that maybe she really was. Your neighbor was such a huge, attractive guy, after all, it would make sense he was capable of such. Before you knew it, you could no longer understand the words in your textbook. You kept rereading the same line over and over again, but nothing registered into your mind. You were so close to screaming at them to stop and shut the fuck up because it was three in the morning and they were still going at it, but you weren’t that mean.

Yes, you hated him, but you weren’t going to blue ball someone or make sex awkward. Sex with your ex was always awkward, so you knew how painful it was to live with that memory. No matter how much you hated your neighbor, you wouldn’t go that far.

So you trudged all the way up to the building’s public balcony, bringing a blanket with you to survive the chilly bite of the night.

You used your phone’s flashlight to read all over the textbooks, keeping your little note cards organized and color coded beside you. Finally, you could make sense of things a little bit more, and you chugged at your Red Bull to keep you awake. Time passed by so fast whenever you were lost with your nose stuck in a book, and your attention was only ripped away when the balcony door swung open, revealing your neighbor with messed up hair and bruised lips.

He looked totally fucked out.

“Oh, fuck, no – what are you doing here?”

“This balcony is for all tenants,” your neighbor barely blinked as he walked closer to you, but instead of joining you on the table, he leaned against the railings and stared into the night sky. He seemed so placid, a little approachable despite his intimidating face even, and for a moment, you were studying his sharp, masculine features before he turned your way with a passive face. “Last time I checked, I’m a tenant, therefore I have the rights to be here.”

“I don’t care,” you retorted childishly, pulling your books closer to you as if he wanted to steal it. He only raised a brow at your actions, the large muscles of his arms bulging up from where he stood.

It felt so hard to not salivate at the sight, but for the sake of your pride, you had to push those thoughts down and remind yourself why you hated him so much. “I evoke your rights. You’re not welcome here.”

“You’re awfully harsh to a stranger.”

“You’re not a stranger, you’re my neighbor who brings girls in his home every night and I can never get a wink of sleep because all I can hear is them moaning and the sound of balls slapping!”

“Vulgar,” he smirked, and he had no business looking so attractive with that arrogant smirk on his face that it took all energy you had in you to not whack him with your book.

“I think I deserve an apology.”

“I think you should mind your business.”

You stood up with a scowl, nearly shoving the book right in his chest. “Bro, I’m this close to slapping this book right in your pretty face. You see how thick this is? I’m not kidding, this will hurt. Listen, I’ve got a final exam and a suture practice this weekend. All I’m asking for is just a few hours of sleep – that’s all. I just don’t get why you always seem to be balls deep in someone at every god forsaken hour; I can’t focus on my work when the noises are so distracting. At this point, I remember their begging more than I’m familiar with nerves. I need to study, okay? I really want to graduate.”

He fell silent at your sudden rant, then, he tilted his head to the side, a small smile on his lips. “You think I have a pretty face?”

“After everything I said, that’s all you remember?”

“It’s kind of hard to listen to every word when I’m distracted by your eyes.”

His comment caught you off-guard, and your eyes widened, arm coming up to hide your face that soon began to felt warm. He only chuckled at your reaction, the sound deep and throaty that it went right straight into the pools of your belly. “My eyes – what are you talking about? Seriously, what’s wrong with you? You’re so creepy!”

“Hmm,” he snickered, “That’s the first time I’ve heard that.”

“What, no one tells you you’re creepy?”

“No, people always say I’m handsome,” he said it with such a straight face that you gave him an are you serious look, and he raised one shoulder to shrug. “I’m surprised you’re not attracted to me, to be honest.”

“Wow,” you drawled out, shaking your head with a laugh as you plopped down back to your seat in defeat. “Aren’t you full of surprises? First, I get a really horny man as my next door neighbor who keeps me up at night with his shenanigans, and now he’s got the audacity to ask me why I’m not attracted to him?”

“I mean,” he scrunched his nose cutely, a huge contrast to his domineering stature. “Why aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I give up. I’m just gonna crash at my friends tonight,” you mumbled to yourself while gathering your things, leaving your neighbor all by himself. As you reached the door, you called out to him one more time, “Oh, and by the way, you reek of pussy. Go shower or something.”

“So how’s your exams going?”

“They’re fine,” you lied through gritted teeth, slicing through the fish a lot harsher than you intended. The knife scraped against the plate and you winced at the sound, ignoring your father’s loud munching. “Not too much of a big deal. My professors are nice and my classmates are nice too. I’m fitting in really well and I think I’ll even come out on top of my class this time if it weren’t for that stupid little bastard…” your last words ended up as a whisper, eyes glazing to the side as you glared at nothing in particular.

“Stupid little what?”

“Nothing, nothing,” you waved your hand in the air, “Someone’s just distracting me from my studies, is all.”

At the mention of someone distracting your usually composed and unbothered self, your father straightened up in his seat, a large smile on his face that made him look younger than he really was. “Is it a guy? Do you finally have a boyfriend?”

“Ugh, dad, really, you’re the only father who’s so eager for his daughter to have a boyfriend. Shouldn’t you be more proud that, I don’t know, I’m pretty and smart? I don’t need a boyfriend or anything.”

Your father nodded, “True, you don’t need them, but trust me when I say life is going to get pretty lonely when you grow old and you’re all by yourself. It’s still better – and life is a lot happier – when you’ve got a stable supporting and loving figure in your life.”

“I have you for that.”

“And you always will,” he patted your hand gently across the table, “But a parent won’t always be there for their child, and if you’re still not prepared for the future or ready to stand on your own two feet, then that means I didn’t do a great job at raising you; that means I’ve failed as a parent. Tell me, have I failed? Have I raised my wonderful daughter to be so repulsed by the idea of love that she’s willingly closing her doors and locking herself away in isolation?”

“No…”

“I didn’t think so,” he grinned to himself, and you watched with a frown as his eyes crinkled in happiness. Your father was such the complete opposite of you; he was always so loving and open to everyone, while you were mopey and afraid of attachment.

“Don’t be too afraid to love, child. It’s one of the most wonderful things in this world – it’s a blessing – the absolute core of our being. Why do we exist if not to love?”

“Not everyone is a romantic like you, dad,” you sighed, “Plus…how is it so easy for you to finally find someone after Mom died? Isn’t she your soul mate?” you questioned, putting your fork and knife down as you looked your father in the eye. “I just can’t believe you’re getting married again.”

“It’s already been years since she passed away, Y/N. And yes, she is my soul mate, but that doesn’t mean I’m incapable of loving someone again. Our hearts aren’t limited like that, and your mother wouldn’t want me to keep mourning her when she’s resting in peace,” he gestured to the both of you after swallowing his food, “She would’ve wanted the both of us to be happy.”

At the mention of your passed mother, your shoulders deflated, and your eyes watered at the thought of her kind smile. You wished you could see that again.

“I miss her…”

“I know, child, I know,” your father smiled encouragingly, “I also know the reason you’re so afraid to love is because you’re scared they’ll end up leaving you too, like how your mom just slipped past our fingers like that, but it’s only her body that withered. She’s still with us, right in our hearts and in our memories.”

“You really do sound like a lovesick fool.”

“That’s because I am,” your father laughed with a slap to his knees. When his phone buzzed for his alarm, he quickly dabbed a towel on his lips, standing up to excuse himself. “Now, this lunch was lovely and I dearly missed you, but I need to go back to work. We doctors just never get a break. This is a life you have to prepare for if you want to follow my footsteps.”

“I won’t follow your footsteps – I’ll surpass you.”

“I’ll be waiting for that to happen then,” he announced proudly; pride bursting in his chest at how determined his daughter was. “Oh, and Y/N?”

“Yes?” You squinted at the mischievous look in his eyes, wary of what your cunning father had in mind this time.

“You won’t outsmart me. You better bring a boyfriend or at least introduce someone to me on the wedding – or else I’m pulling you out of the university hospital.”

“Wha – Dad, that’s not fair!”

“All is fair in love and war, child, you’ll learn soon.”

“Oh, I just hate men!”

You really did hate men.

Your final exam was tomorrow already and you’d lost count of the coffee and Red Bull you’ve inhaled today, all so you could study one last time for the test, but no, something – or rather someone – just had to get in your way.

“I’ve had enough,” you announced before slamming your door open; not hesitating as your fists came banging down on your neighbor’s door. “Hey! Keep it the fuck down – someone’s trying to study here! Seriously, man, is it really that hard for you to keep it in your pants for one night? This is what, the sixth woman you’ve had around the past four days? Don’t you get tired? Because I sure as hell am very tired of you!”

The moans and the sounds of bed creaking stopped. For a moment, you almost smirked to yourself when they fell silent.

If only you knew it would be that easy to shut them up, you would’ve done so long ago. You were about to turn back into your room when his door swung open, and you were met by his sweaty and muscular chest heaving up and down – either in anger or from his previous activities – you couldn’t tell.

Your throat felt dry as you peered at him under your lashes, almost afraid of the way he loomed over you. Thank goodness he found the time to wear pants, though, because had he been baby naked, you would’ve run for the hills already.

His dark eyes cut through yours as he seethed, “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m the one who wants to ask you that,” you were surprised to find your voice despite the way your pussy actually ached just by the sight of his chiseled body, but when you did, you forced yourself to stand up taller, refusing to back down from his gaze. “It’s literally three in the morning and you’re about to fuck a hole through my wall!”

“I thought you said you’d be crashing at your friends. What are you doing here?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know I had to have your permission to come back home. Next time, I’ll give you a heads-up, good sir. And for your information, unlike you, I actually don’t like bothering the people around me so I came home. Now would you please kick her out and shut the fuck up for once?”

“Babe, are you coming back here or what?”

Red acrylic nails wound from his body out of nowhere, and your mouth fell open as you watched the naked woman press kisses on the blades of his shoulder. You were conflicted, torn between feeling jealous that she got to touch him like that because damn was he fine, but you also felt appalled your neighbor would be this type of person.

“Babe?” you repeated with a sarcastic laugh.

Stepping away from your neighbor’s tempting pecs, you waved to the stunning woman behind him. “Hi, I’m his neighbor, I don’t mean to be a cock block or anything but I’ve been a witness to his fuckboy ways for months now. If you think you’re special to him, I assure you, you’re not. Yesterday he was just banging two girls until the sunrise. If you’re really as sane as I hope you are, I suggest you skedaddle before this man feeds you with more lies. You’re not special, hun, he’s just going to fuck everything that walks on two legs.”

“Is that true?”

“Nadia, you know how this works—”

“I was literally just on the phone with you last night!” the woman named Nadia pushed him away, but because he was bigger, he didn’t budge. Nadia turned to you, her lipstick smudged and a suspicious white stain on the edge of her lips. You couldn’t even bring yourself to look down her head, and you and your neighbor both watched as she got dressed and left, hands up in the air. “Thank you for this. I should’ve known better than to waste time and money on him.”

You snickered as Nadia pressed on the elevator buttons, a scowl sent his way. Turning to him with pride swelling up in your chest, you smirked, “How does it feel—”

“Happy now?” he growled, his eyes so dark and slit into tiny cuts you took a step back, your heart pumping frantically for different reasons. You never thought he’d be this bothered for not being able to bust a nut. “Satisfied now, Y/N? Do you even realize what you’ve just done?”

“Uhm, yes,” you scoffed, matching his tone. “I just saved that poor girl’s life. Who else knows what you would’ve done and said to her. We don’t deserve to be looked down on and treated like this, you know.”

“Neither did I. I’m just doing my job.”

“Job? You don’t even have a job! You don’t even go to university for fuck’s sake – your apartment is rundown and smells like sour cunt and feet! Maybe you should even thank me because I’m trying to give you ideas on better things to do!”

“Yeah, and be like you?” he snapped, tugging at the strings of your hoodie until you fell a step forward. “Dressed in loose shirts to hide the fact you’ve got no tits and your ass is flatter than your back? Lying to her neighbor that she’ll crash somewhere but ends up waddling back home anyway because she’s always cooped up in her apartment studying to prove that she’s not as worthless as she is and that she doesn’t have a life or friends to begin with?” tears pooled at your eyes at his words, and you knew it hurt because it was true, but did he really have to say it that way?

However, his anger got the best of him, and he didn’t stop there. “I don’t want to be like you. I don’t want to skip meals and lose sleep studying for something I don’t care about because I don’t know anything else other than following daddy’s footsteps so he’d notice me more than his new bride. I’m happy with my life.”

“How did—”

“Like you said, the walls are thin. You’re not exactly so quiet to yourself, neighbor. It’s kind of pathetic you talk to the walls when you think I’m asleep because you’ve got no one else to talk to.”

Hands balled into fists at your side, you stood on your tiptoes to spit the words out. “You’re a terrible human being,” no matter how much you tried to exert dominance over him, your lips still quivered as you fought back the urge to cry. “Go fuck yourself.”

“You’re the one who needs to go fuck yourself and get laid,” he didn’t let you have another word as he slammed the door in your face, but you still heard him through the door anyway. “Uptight bitch.”

You were wrong.

Your neighbor wasn’t just difficult – he was completely impossible.

[Dad:] Don’t forget your date!

[You:] Dad…don’t push it.

[Dad:] I find it hard to believe my beautiful daughter can’t have one. Go out there and make some friends, Y/N, I know you isolate yourself too much. It doesn’t even have to be a boyfriend. You could date a girl for all I care. I just don’t want you to be too bored at the wedding. Bring a friend.

[You:] Fine, fine, okay.

[Dad:] But a boyfriend would still be better. Your old man isn’t getting any younger and I want grandkids in the future.

[You:] Dad!

[Dad:] love ya kid !

And so it was the turn of your events that had you groaning in your swiveling chair, the grip on your phone so tight you wouldn’t be surprised if you ended up breaking it. As if your week couldn’t get any more horrible with your neighbor’s hurtful words still living at the back of your mind, your father hadn’t stopped talking about you to his co-workers and his equally crazy mother that your grandmother didn’t waste time in calling you.

You loved your nan, you really did, but more often than not, she was much more of a pain in the ass than your father was. The old woman was ruthless, shooting you question by question on why her pretty granddaughter was still single, then came the demeaning comments of how you “weren’t living life to the fullest.”

Frustration eating away at you, you let out a silent scream.

The escort site blinked back at you mockingly, temptingly, as if to remind you that your problems could easily be solved with just a click. You chastised yourself for always having the need to solve problems fast and as easily as you could, because before you even realized what you were doing, your heart started beating a mile a minute as the other line kept ringing.

You ended up lying to your grandmother that yes, nan, I have a boyfriend, can I study for my exams now please, to which the pressing woman responded with, oh, finally! well, I won’t bother you anymore. study well, my dear, I can’t wait to see him!

Just thinking about how she would react if you came alone at your father’s wedding had you breaking out in a sweat, and you chewed at your nails while waiting for the site to pick up.

You were truly desperate now, so much so that you were actually calling a rental boy site.

“Good afternoon, thank you for calling Kamo Escorts! I’m Ijichi, here to assist you. What can I help you with?”

You held back a really painful cringe, biting the insides of your cheek as you got your heart to calm down. “Uhm, yeah…so this is like my first time c-calling a site like this and I don’t know what to do but…yeah.”

“I see, we get new callers too. Would you like a guide?”

“Yes, please, that’d be great thank you.”

“Kamo Escorts is all about, well, as you can see on our webpage – we have men and even women you can hire to escort you on special events. We mostly cater to clients who only need a pretty face to dangle off their arm for social company or even care, or whatever reasons the client may have and the relationship is purely business and professional, but in some cases, the escorts may have sex with the client too under the condition they are paid more.”

The gasp that left your lips was barely stifled, and you furrowed your brows at the implication. “Wh-what, so that’s like a real thing? Isn’t this…?”

Ijichi chuckled from the other line, almost as if he’d been asked this question many times before. “In a way, it is, which is why Kamo Escorts is commercially advertised for purely social company only. You may, however, negotiate with your escort if you would like more services, but we do require that you keep our escorts’ dignity and not look down on them. The service we provide may not be your typical honorable one, but we are dedicated and equally eager to be of service to this society. Should we find that you’re dehumanizing or harassing our escort, we won’t hesitate to…take some action,” the light warning of his tone didn’t go unnoticed by you, and Ijichi took note of your hesitant silence. “Would you still like to proceed?”

“Ye-yeah, I didn’t want the sex anyway.”

“Very well, then. What event are we looking for?”

“It’s for a relative’s wedding,” you supplied, “I need a date.”

“Any preference in escorts? Male, female, tall, short, sociable or introverted?”

Your eyes widened, your back flattening against your chair. “Oh, wow, so this is like a Build-A-Bear, okay, wait,” you chewed your nails again, racking up on your mind on who or what exactly you liked. “My ideal guy is…someone tall, and has pretty broad shoulders…I think I prefer a more introverted one too because people with too much energy sort of drains me…and someone caring and attentive, yes. Handsome too – but if that’s too much to ask for then—”

“It’s okay, Miss. I assure you all our escorts are definitely blessed in the gene department.”

At his confidence, you scrunched your nose and made yourself small on your chair. “Okay, but now that you say it, if he’s too handsome then I’m going to look like a potato next to him.”

“We’ll find someone compatible for you; we always never fail to please our clients. We’ll be able to match you with a more suitable escort if you’re more descriptive with what you want.”

“Okay, okay,” you continued, “Oh, and I like guys with long hair too, but really, anything is fine. I just want someone to effortlessly pretend they’re enamored after just one date and that they’re very glad to be there with me on the wedding. It’s even better if they’re introverted but can communicate well and isn’t shy at all. My relatives are kind of…freaky.”

Freaky couldn’t even begin to describe the chaos of your relatives.

In fact, had you not been paying for this service, you would’ve almost felt bad for the guy. He had no idea what he had coming for him – but then again, neither did you.

“I think we’ve got just the perfect guy for you,” Ijichi answered after a beat, “May I ask when is this event and how long you’d like to book the escort service for?”

“The event is in two weeks. I don’t need to meet him before the wedding because I’m very busy with exams, so I hope this guy can just act really well. As for the duration…I think just one day is enough. After the wedding, I’m coming right back home.”

“Convenient then,” he mused to himself, and you heard slight clicking from his side. “Let’s see…someone introverted and able to communicate well…definitely not Satoru, and his entirely booked by sugar mommies too…” Ijichi whispered to himself, followed by a slight humorous snort. “One last question: would you like someone older, younger, or the same age as you?”

“I’m in uni – I’d be more comfortable if they were closer to my age.”

“Oh, perfect, his schedule is oddly open for the whole month. Wonder what happened, he’s barely had free slots before…” the man was speaking to himself again, and you sat there pouting, even more dumbfounded at how this whole process worked.

Ijichi talked about this escort service and guided you so easily you almost couldn’t believe that it was as…simple as that. You didn’t know what you were expecting, but deep down in your mind, you were waiting for something fishy or weird to happen.

“I found someone for you. He’s one of our best escorts and I believe he’ll be great for this event. However, due to privacy issues, the disclosure of contacts and personal information can only happen once the escort agrees to this service. We’ll shortly get back to you if he’s up for the job. If not, I’ll find you another one quickly; you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“Okay, thank you so much!”

“It’s our pleasure. Thank you for contacting Kamo Escorts – we hope to see you again!”

Once the call ended, you fell back on your bed with a sigh. Your neighbor wasn’t around the whole day, leaving you in peace and silence, and you took advantage of the rare quietness by pulling out a book. Hours passed, and you were nearly finished with half the textbook, fingers slightly numb from practicing sutures over and over again when your phone lit up with a text.

It came from an unknown number, but the words were loud and clear. Hey, this is Choso, I’ll be your escort for the wedding. Please text me here for the details and what else you expect from my service. I’m only a text and call away, please don’t hesitate to ask me for anything else.

You blinked at your phone, unsure of how to process the whole thing.

So it was official now – you rented an escort and you had a date for the event. Quite frankly, you were kind of expecting that escorts would be a lot more…flirtatious or even eager to please, but this Choso guy sounded too formal for you to picture yourself having this stranger be a good company for your event. Ijichi sounded so sure though that you no longer questioned it; smiling instead now that you’ve finally solved one of your problems.

Life felt a lot easier.

At around four in the morning, you were too worn out to keep going. Your exam was in the afternoon so you still had plenty of time to sleep, your stomach grumbled, prompting you to leave your unit to get some snacks.

Keys in hand and feet cold in your socks, you locked your door, halting in your steps when you saw your neighbor. Different from his usual comfortable clothing, he was dressed in a formal white shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows and his large, masculine hands coming up to loosen his tie. He wasn’t aware of your presence, almost blindly walking to his door and sighing. You didn’t miss the fact his shoulders were slumped, and he looked absolutely worn out.

For a moment, you actually felt worried, until you remembered what he said to you.

“What, no pussy to fuck tonight?”

He froze in front of his door for a moment, slightly tilting back to see your aggravated stance. Upon seeing it was just you, he shook his head and turned back to unlock his door. “No thanks to you.”

“Aw, did I ruin your reputation?” you mocked sarcastically, “I’m surprised people aren’t smart enough to pick up the smell of women’s perfume on you already. Seriously, are people that desperate for touch?” It was ironic; you’d never admit it, but you weren’t any better than them. You were equally desperate to be touched despite your aversion to romantic relationships, but he didn’t need to know that.

“It’s normal when you’re someone people are naturally attracted to. Not that you’d get it, of course, because it’s clear you don’t get some.”

“At least my apartment doesn’t smell like pussy.”

“At least I don’t masturbate every night then pass out after one weak orgasm.”

Your cheeks burned at his offhanded comment, and even with his back turned to you, you could see the slight smile tugging at his cheeks. He must’ve felt so cocky, thinking that he’d defeated you, so you blurted out the most intelligent thing possible: “How dare you!” while grabbing onto his shoulders to make him face you. “Look me in the eye and take that back!”

“Whatever you’re planning,” he crooned, head tilted to the side and making strands of his bangs fall over his eyes. He looked absolutely handsome under the flickering lights of the hallway in that moment, and you hated how you weren’t able to take your hands off of his strong shoulders, his masculine and spicy perfume clouding your mind. “It’s not going to work. Surprise surprise, but you’re not as cute as you think you are.”

Your eyes burned with fire, the nerves in your body so closing to popping. He infuriated you so much. “And you’re not as sexy as you believe you are!”

“Oh, yeah?” The positions are suddenly switched as he cornered you beside his doorframe, both of his arms planted beside your head. Because he was taller, he had to lean down to look you in the eye, his warm, minty breath brushing over your lips. You stared at him with wide eyes, fingers raking over the wall in a silent attempt to flee. Upon seeing your pursed lips, he laughed.

“Then why are you so shaky? Do I make you nervous?” his head dipped down, his lips grazing the shell of your ear. “Say…you only pretend to hate me, but you actually wish it was you I’m fucking every night, don’t you? Tell me…do you touch yourself when you hear me eating someone out?”

“I-I’m not—”

Before you could combust under his gaze, he pulled himself away from you, a satisfied smirk on his face at your flustered state. He chuckled lowly, keys spinning on his thick finger. “I was just teasing you, princess. No need to get so worked up.”

“I never want you near me again!”

He raised both brows as if to challenge you, and you knew from the glint in his eyes he was up to no good. “Princess, you jumped on me first.”

“I didn’t!” You shouted, immediately slapping your palm over your lips after realizing people were sleeping. He snickered at your reactions, and you pushed past him back to your unit, suddenly losing the appetite to get your precious snacks. “God, I hate you so much.”

“Believe me, the feeling is mutual.”

Difficult. Unbelievable. Complicated. Idiotic. Nothing was ever easy with him.

“Would you stop fidgeting?” your father scolded from his chair, his body barely moving as the stylists fixed his hair and makeup, but his eyes glared at you from the mirror. “You’re a lot more nervous than I am, and it’s my wedding.”

“Sorry, I can’t help it.”

Your father sighed to himself, standing up after they were done with him. He checked his appearance in the mirror for a while, nodding to himself in satisfaction. It was still a little surreal that he was going to get married again, to a woman half his age of all people, but he was happy, and his bride seemed to really love him too, so you no longer questioned your father’s decisions. He was an adult, anyway, he could make his own decisions.

“You’re waiting for your boyfriend, you say?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s he like?”

You stiffened at the question. Not wanting your sharp-eyed father to pick up on the smallest cues, you lied through your teeth despite not having any idea on who or what kind of person the escort was.

Other than discussing details of how you two supposedly met, conversations had been crisp and short. You were lucky that the escort seemed to be nice and smart enough to not always ask you to explain everything, and he was crisp and curt in his texts too. No flirty or suggestive messages, not even a single emoji. He seemed a little stiff, and while you worried if you could fake chemistry with someone who seemed like a wall, you were also assured by the fact he wasn’t some creep.

“Nice. He’s sweet. You’ll like him.”

“And when did you meet him?”

“Dad, do I have to tell this story all over again?” you groaned, “We met after exams, he goes to a different uni and he studies law—”

“Law. Impressive.”

“Of course you’re impressed,” you rolled your eyes. Coming from a family of doctors and engineers, your father, and pretty much everyone else in the family, also expected that you’d date someone who was equally intelligent and had enough connections in different industries at least. It just so happened you were really lucky your escort also really did study law for a bit before he became an escort; a detail you never got enough explanation for. “He’ll be here anytime soon. Just you wait.”

In reality, you were the one who couldn’t wait.

You were excited and nervous at the same time to see this mysterious escort, and you were in the middle of talking to your father and his bride when someone called you.

“Y/N?”

You turned around with a bright grin. That must be him! You clasped at the hems of your dress so you could meet this mysterious, rigid man properly, but the moment your eyes met his equally startled gaze, you choked on your own breath. “Y-you—”

Choso stood before you; handsome as ever in his suit and tie, his iconic twin tails still there. How ever would your father believe you now that he was a lawyer, especially with his messy hair and face tattoo? You loved it and found it sexy on him, no denying that, but your father was a little bit more traditional. But that aside, it was Choso?!

His professionalism arose and he regained his composure quicker than you did, the smile on his face so natural and alluring even you almost fell for it.

Choso wrapped an arm around your waist before kissing you on the cheek, and the skin felt extremely hot under his lips. You couldn’t move, couldn’t even speak, because Choso was pressed flush against you, and he looked at you with stars shining in his eyes you didn’t know whether to be flattered or afraid.

Maybe a fucked up mix of both.

“I’m sorry I’m late. Traffic was bad,” he explained with a small smile on his lips, and he looked so handsome and smelled so good in that moment you were left gaping at him as he bowed to your father, arm politely extended. “You must be Y/N’s father. It’s very nice to meet you sir. I’m her boyfriend, Choso.”

To your surprise, your father eagerly shook his hand with the brightest grin he’d worn the whole night before he faced you with a laugh. “No way,” he beamed, gesturing to Choso. “He’s your boyfriend? You managed to snag this fine man?”

“Dad!” your ears burned with embarrassment. Choso only laughed; making you painfully aware of his large, warm hand resting at the small of your back.

“I heard you’re a lawyer, son?”

“Yes, sir.”

Your father nodded in approval, the two exchanging over words about what his plans were for the future and how his studies were going. You stood there with a pounding heart, fearful that Choso could fuck up any moment, but he was so effortless and easy going. Had you not been the one paying him, you would’ve been fooled too.

So this was the life of an escort.

“So how much did my daughter pay you?”

“Dad, I didn’t—”

“I mean, there’s no way she actually charmed you with her non-existent social skills. My daughter here can’t even talk to someone and look them in the eye, much less ask someone out, so how did this happen?”

Choso laughed at your father’s lighthearted comment, saving the day for what seemed like the hundredth time already. “I approached her first, sir. We were both eating in this small diner and it was cramped, so we shared tables and started conversation,” Suddenly, his grip tightened on you as he pulled you closer, your ear now resting above the lulling and steady beating of his heart. How was he so calm?

He lightly squeezed your hip and it had you freezing under his touch, stiffening even more when he looked down at you so adoringly. “Guess it went downhill from there.” God, you had no idea who this man was.

“Really? What did you guys talk about?”

Choso opened his mouth to speak, but it was there, that damned glint on those dark eyes again that you clutched at his bicep. He may be damn good at this job, but knowing Choso, he was enjoying this way too much.

Anything you couldn’t predict or control properly was a huge no in your game, and you pulled Choso away before he could say something downright humiliating.

“Dad, just go focus on your wedding. I want to spend time with my boyfriend, okay?” You couldn’t even begin to fathom the inward cringe upon your words, the feeling only worsening when Choso fought back a laugh masked with a cough. Before your father could say anything else, you dragged Choso rather harshly, but he didn’t mind; he followed you obediently. “Come with me. I need to talk to you,” You didn’t stop until you were both alone in a desolated corner, and finally, you hissed at him. “What are you doing here?!”

“I should be asking you the same thing – but it turns out you’re my client.”

“Client? So you really are my escort?”

“Yes, I am.”

“So those women…”

“All my clients,” he confirmed your thoughts. “I assure you they knew what they were getting into. In fact, they were the ones who asked for that special service that caused you to lose your sleep every night. That woman the other day was just pissed because she booked me for three days, but I lied that I was available until the duration she wanted when I wasn’t.”

“You mean you were still working an escort for somebody else?”

He shrugged. “Pretty much.”

“Why did you lie then?”

“It’s more money,” Choso stared down at his hands before his eyes flitted back up to yours, his face unreadable. “I’m saving up so I can move somewhere else. Our apartment isn’t exactly the most ideal considering my profession. I need to find someplace quieter with thicker walls this time,” he smiled, “That way, I’ll no longer bother my sweet neighbor,” your lips felt dry at his words, your tongue darting out to lick at them while Choso scrutinized you under his gaze.

“I have to admit though – you asking for escort service is the last thing I’d ever imagine you doing. Not that I’m complaining since it’s still money in my pocket, but you’re not the most pleasing company to be with.”

“Oh, you bet, Choso. Had I known you were going to be my escort, I would’ve declined long ago,” you groaned, your head dropping in your hands. “What was Ijichi thinking when he said I would be compatible with you?”

“You’re not,” he stated, “But I am compatible with you – as I am with pretty much everyone else. I’m one of the best escorts, and soon you’ll see why.”

You didn’t understand what he meant by then, but it seemed Choso was quite eager to show his skills off when he dragged you back inside the reception event. The whole time, you couldn’t pay attention to anything or anyone else other than Choso. It still felt hard to believe that the whole time, he really was doing his job, and upon seeing how easily he had people believing you two were an item despite you just standing silently beside him, you felt guilty that you disrupted his “work” like that.

Guilt gnawed at you as Choso made everyone laugh, and soon your relatives were cooing, praising you and congratulating you that you were “happy” now.

Back then, you always looked down on him and even called him a mere fuckboy, but Choso was so much more than that. He was intelligent; his past as a lawyer proved that, and whatever happened that caused him to work in this industry kept lingering in your mind.

There was no denying it now.

You respected this man – admired him even.

“And now it’s time to join the newly married couple on the dance floor! Come on, people, bring your dates up here for a twirl!”

You remained planted in your seat, too comfortable with Choso’s jacket draped around your bare shoulders. You’d lost count of how many times your head ducked down for the lack of sleep, and as much as you loved your dad, you wanted nothing more than to go home and rest.

Choso offered his hand to yours, a teasing smile on his face. He wriggled his eyebrows up and down, and he looked so utterly ridiculous that you couldn’t believe the boring man you were texting was the same infuriating yet undeniably attractive bastard who was your neighbor was the same fun. The world is very small, it seemed, and you weren’t sure whether you were brave enough to venture these strange places and feelings.

“Uh-uh. No. I’m not dancing.”

“Two left feet?”

“No, I’m wearing heels. My feet hurts.”

“Then take it off.”

“And get my feet dirty?” you scoffed. As if to prove your point, you snuggled deeper into his jacket that smelled heavenly like him, closing your eyes as you pretended to sleep. “Sitting here isn’t so bad. Plus, look at them, all staring at each other with goo-goo eyes. It’s revolting,” you shuddered.

Through the sickeningly romantic music playing in the background, Choso fell silent. You cracked an eye open, frowning when Choso studied each of your features carefully. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You seem to hate the idea of love.”

“Because it’s pointless.”

Choso narrowed his eyes at your answer, brows bunching up at the way your shoulders squared to keep yourself away. Then, he stood up and sighed, offering his hand to you once more.

“I won’t really ask you to explain why, because frankly, I don’t care,” you stared at his large palms for a few seconds. There must be a ghost possessing your body because you looped your fingers through his and allowed him to guide you on the dance floor despite your mind’s protests, and soon, Choso’s eyes were all over you. “But if you don’t want your money to go down the drain and you really want to convince everyone, I suggest you forget about that mindset for just a few more hours,” his voice dropped down to a low whisper, his forehead pressed to yours. His eyes turned solemn, his hand on your waist gentle. “Dance with me. Let’s show them how madly in love we are with each other.”

“We met just last week, remember?”

“Love at first sight, princess,” Choso kissed your forehead, sending your heart thumping and running to another dimension. Oddly enough, you didn’t mind, and your hands travelled from his strong arms to his broad shoulders instinctively. “Take your heels off. You can step on my feet and I’ll dance for us both. Just put your arms around my neck – yes just like that,” he nodded with a smile when your fingertips nervously played with his hair, and Choso began to dance you both in time with the music. “Are you good?”

“I don’t like this lack of space between us.”

Choso smirked, “Why, do I get you all hot and bothered?”

“Jesus, Choso, you can’t be serious for a minute, huh?”

“It’s kind of hard to be serious when you’re so flustered and adorable right now,” you pulled at his hair in response, but of course, he wasn’t really hurt.

“Look at me,” he demanded, but you refused, keeping your gaze planted on your bare feet on top of his again. “Hey. I said look at me,” he tilted your chin up until you’re forced to be like prey under his gaze, his breath tickling the bow of your lips. “I am your escort for tonight – and I humbly ask that you do your part as my client so I can perform my job well. I need you to look into my eyes and pretend you’re in love with me.”

“I don’t want to fall in love with anyone,” you suddenly admitted, “I’m scared.”

“You don’t have to be,” he replied, softly this time, and his hands ran down tenderly to your hips to pull you closer to him. “I’ll be there to catch you.”

You couldn’t remember who leaned in first. The only thing you remembered was that the music faded in the background when you kissed him – or maybe he kissed you – fuck, you didn’t really remember. Eventually, the kiss grew too heated, his hands squeezing your waist while you moan at the taste of chocolate and wine on his expert tongue.

Choso easily read your mind and swooped you away from the crowd, the both of you stumbling until you made it out to the venue and onto the beach.

The salty air kissed your skin while Choso carried you bridal style, arms looped around his neck while he kept moving his lips above yours. He was laughing through the kiss with how messy and eager you were, tugging at his shirt to encourage him to unbutton it. Choso set you both down on the darker, isolated part of the beach where nothing but the sound of waves lapping against one another could be heard with your breathless pants and his chuckles.

You were lying on his jacket, dress bunched up to your chest while your legs were spread wide open for him. “Ch-Choso,” you choked out when his tongue ran flat across your slick folds, his hands keeping your hips pinned down to the sand. “I-I, please.”

“I got you, princess,” was all he said before he completely dived into your heat, his sharp nose brushing into your cunt.

It didn’t take long until you were spasming in his hold, legs closing around his head. Choso groaned into your pussy, a finger working its way inside your sopping cunt while he licks and slurps your arousal like it was fucking water. Now you understood why those girls always lost their mind – Choso was a fucking expert when it came to worshipping pussy.

Choso pulled his fingers out of you, making you whine at the sudden emptiness, but he was kind, eager to please you that he immediately replaced it with his tongue.

You cried out when you felt his tongue entering your hole, one thumb pulling the hood of your lips up to reveal your sensitive pearl. Choso rubbed your clit fervently, his other hand reaching up to squeeze and tug at your breasts while he drank your juices dripping down his tongue as if you would be his last meal – and he honestly wished you were, because you tasted like heaven on him and he wanted more.

Once he felt you clamping down on his tongue so tightly he struggled to retrieve his warm muscle back, he helped you reach your high by pinching your clit. You moaned out his name, the sound sending blood straight down his cock, and he groaned into your pussy the moment you grinded on his face as you relaxed from your orgasm.

Choso didn’t give you the chance to recover from your orgasm, pulling you up to his lap before he’s kissing you again. You moaned when you tasted yourself on his tongue, his face and cheeks sweet from your arousal and cum.

You should be ashamed, but you couldn’t find a single bone in your body that felt shy right now. Choso was right – there was no point in being shameful when it came to your pleasure.

The kiss was sloppy, more tongue than lips and teeth clashing onto another. Choso grinded you on his hardened erection in search of your heat that would bring him relief, but he slowed down and pulled away from you, a string of saliva connected from your lips. He wanted you – wanted to fuck you so badly – so he searched your eyes for the answer when you aligned the tip of his cock to your entrance. “Is this okay? Are you sure with this?”

“Yeah,” you gritted your teeth when his tip entered your tight cunt, your walls sucking him in greedily already. Choso’s head dropped down to your shoulder, his teeth sinking down to your shoulder. You slowly sat down on his thick length, but then froze before he could bottom out. “Wait, no, I’m broke! I can’t pay for your extra services!”

“It’s free for you, princess,” he rasped out, “Now sit on my lap so I can feel you around me already.”

“Do you always have to be so vulgar?”

Through the pleasure that had his abs rippling, Choso managed a laugh. “You might want to get used to it.”

“Why would I?” you breathed out, eyes shutting tight once he fully slid into you. He allowed you to get used to the sudden stretch; it had been too long since you’ve been touched this way that you were impossibly tight around him right now. Your chest rose and fall with each faltering breath, your nails running down his back when Choso gave a deep, experimental thrust that immediately hits your sweet spot.

You moaned, cheek resting on his shoulder as Choso set the pace, squeezing your ass as he bounced you up and down his cock. “You’re gone after this. Once this contract is over, you’re moving away and I won’t get to see you anymore. I-I won’t lose sleep anymore after hearing you fuck all those women and gosh, I hate you so much, you know that?”

“I hated you too,” he groaned through your skin, “Or at least, that’s what I told myself so I wouldn’t get hurt.”

“Hurt? I would never hurt you,” Really, you praised yourself for still being able to form coherent sentences even after Choso kept fucking into you.

“I’m an escort, princess, I’m everybody’s and nobody’s at the same time,” he explained almost angrily, and his lips zealously sucked love bites to the sensitive flesh of your neck, “Even if you won’t hurt me, we’re bound to crash and burn at some point. This is why we’re not allowed to get attached to anyone,” his lips brushed over her collarbone, his canines dragging along to make red marks. “Why we’re not allowed to fall,” he squeezed her breast in the palm of his hand, twisting the peaked nipple until you whined, hips bucking deeper into his cock. “Why we’re not allowed to love.”

“I-I don’t understand.”

“I’ve always liked you,” he laughed through the pleasure, holding your hips down so he could drive his cock deeper into you. Yes, he was selfish, yes, he was frustrated – and his feelings burst through the way Choso powered into you. You fell limp in his arms and he easily caught you like he always did, his eyes blown wide as he stared right into your eyes, his dick still pummeling through your gummy walls.

Choso inhaled sharply when you clenched down on him, an elongated moan spilling past your lips. “I liked you the moment you moved in and you fell flat on your face before you could greet me.”

“Shut up, don’t remind me of that!” you raked your nails down his back hard enough to draw blood, and Choso concealed the pain with light chuckle, the pain only prompting him to absolutely use you. “You’re seriously bringing it up now when you’re – ah, fuck – b-buried in me?”

Choso tugged at one of your legs and wrapped it around his waist, the sudden change of angle had you pressing down deeper into him. It felt like you were sinking closer and closer to his cock, the tip of his dick kissing your cervix until you’re crying out in his arms, scratches evident on his back.

“For now,” he breathed out, “I want to at least be selfish enough to want you now, just for now if fate won’t still allow it.”

“W-we can try,” you said in your lust-filled gaze, lips crashing down messily to his while you bounced on him, your hips slamming down at the same to meet his thrusts. “It’s not going to be easy, but we can try, right?” You cupped his face, surprised with the sudden vulnerability from his hooded eyes, looking so innocent and beautiful as if he wasn’t painting your insides white.

“Okay,” he nodded, brows pinching together. And that was all the both of you needed before Choso sank his fangs down the column of your neck to hold on his low groans; your head thrown back as you both drown in the pleasure of being with one another.

In the blink of an eye, all tenderness is Choso’s touches replaced by the hunger in his eyes and the power of his lust-filled thrusts. You were a moaning mess by the time your hips sit flat on his pelvic bone and his balls brush on your ass from how deep he was hitting you, and you felt his teeth nibble at the side of your breasts again as he warned, “But for now, I’m not going to go easy on you – not when I’ve wanted you for so long and I’ve been so hard for you these all time.”

And you allowed him. Because nothing was ever easy with Choso, but for him, you’d try pushing through hell and back.

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thebirdandhersong · 1 year ago

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respectfully: throwing up

#all shall be well and all shall be well and ALL SHALL BE WELL FOR PETE'S SAKE CALMMMMM DOWWWWWN #(@ my brain)#the waiting room chapter

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karlswrites · 3 years ago

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A Grimm Trip

This is part two of the Devildom boys carrying you around. From here on out, this little series shall be affectionally named the Devildom Taxi Service. This week's boy is Mams the Man.

I hope y'all enjoy a protective Mammon!

Warnings: Some violence? Like, there's no blood. Also, you have a twisted ankle, so... sorry. There's that good fluff, though...

Word Count: 1,694

When arriving at the Devildom- even though it was a shock- you didn’t expect most demons to be friendly with you. You expected some cursing and the classic life endangerment, but you didn’t expect high-school-level bullying. You were in college, for Pete’s sake. Needless to say, the demon foot sticking out by your classroom’s door was an unpleasant surprise. So was the faceplant that followed right after.

You attempted to stand back up, pulling yourself up by your elbows and knees. Within one second, a disheveled Mammon (Let’s be honest, he would sprint to you) was kneeling at your side. His hands made swift movements, one landing at the small of your back and the other grabbing at one of your wrists. He pulled you up and into him.

His heartbeat drummed against your ears. It was beating fast. Whether it was from worrying about you or embarrassment, you didn’t know. Still, the sound fluttered around you, engulfing you in warmth. Expected to see a miffed Mammon, as he was typically vexed by you getting in trouble, you looked up. Mammon had apparently decided to look at you then, too. A furious blush washed over his cheeks and ears when he noticed how close you were. The expression was surprising, and the shock of it made you grow a similar shade in return. Again, you felt his pulse rate increase. That somehow calmed you, and you began to relish in everything that was Mammon. He was always so selfless as to embarrass himself in your stead. Stepping in right after you suffered a measly trip, caring not for his tarnished reputation. His brothers always called him selfish, but, boy howdy, were they wrong.

Mammy released your wrist but kept his hand on your back, ensuring that you wouldn’t fall back down. The two of you began to stand together when a sharp pain shot through your ankle. Mammon immediately lowered you back to the floor, sitting you back against the wall.

“Whoa, hey! Are you okay?” he asked, words tumbling out of his mouth about a mile a minute.

You almost couldn’t understand him, though his urgency to treat you was sweet. Futilely, you tried to ensure him that you were fine, but that same pain returned when you attempted to move again. Turning your foot felt like a death sentence; you were in rough shape.

Before you could muster any soothing words, Mammon was at his feet again. Never taking his eyes off you, he approached the other student still laughing at his desk. The boy fell silent when he noticed the Avatar of Greed was standing before him. The cocky grin he wore turned panicked.

“You think it’s funny? You think hurting my human is funny?” Mammon’s voice lowered an octave as he spoke. Some semblance of a growl echoed from his throat.

Those shrill screams and whines you had once associated him with melted away from your memory and were replaced by, if you thought you had heard correctly, his snarl. He was clearly pissed off. Being the only demon who never laid a hand on you, it was a bit scary to see him behave like this. Anger was beginning to physically manifest around him; the lights dimmed and the surrounding air started to cumulate into black fog.

Being the fourth (I’m putting Barbatos at #2) most powerful demon, Mammon was capable of things beyond your imagination. Fear took the reigns in your brain as you began to imagine a series of scenarios, each pumping more and more cortisol into your veins. One image showed the greedy demon decimating your classmate, claws ripping into their uniform, fangs plunging into any extremity he could reach, horns threatening to pierce through the top of his head. It was quite the contrast to how he typically acted when terrorized by Lucifer or any of his other brothers. He’d allow them to hang him from the ceiling, but God forbid anyone to do anything like that to you. You were his emotional support human, and he wanted to protect you as your first. Anyone who hurt you was begging for whatever they got.

You were pulled from your thoughts when the unnamed demon yelped. Mammon had lifted him, fists curling into his jacket’s collar. The black fog had begun to swirl around the two, gradually rising from Mammon’s feet into the air. With each curse and threat escaping his lips, the fog rose higher and higher. If things continued like this, the two would be swallowed whole by the essence.

Knowing that there was no other way to stop Mammon from making a mistake, you called out him. The golden glow from Mammon’s sigil emitted from your back and through the thick material of your jacket. A wave of strength coursed through you as you stretched a hand out towards the two.

“Stop.” Your voice rang louder than you intended, but you were surprised by how clear it was. Your body was still shaking, but it definitely didn’t sound like it.

Mammon froze. His hands stilled as if frozen in time. The black fog dissipated completely a second after your command reached him.

“Let him go, Mammon. Come back to me.” Mammon eased at your soft voice and followed your orders without a thought.

When he looked back at you, his eyes gleamed with something: a mixture of gratitude and shame. There was rarely a cause for you to command him, and he hated every single time he brought you to control him. It wasn’t relinquishing himself to you that upset him. No, it was that he had let you down. To him, he had done something grave. Anything that he did that wasn’t right with you was like a cardinal sin in his eyes. His perception was a tad melodramatic, but after how you fixed the broken remnants of his family, you were truly an angel to him. Disappointing you had become his biggest fear and grievance.

“It’s okay,” you called to him, your voice beginning to waver as the sigil’s magic wore off. “You’re okay.”

You silently prayed that your words anchored themselves to him, and you made a note to yourself to praise him for his kindness later once you saw the light returning to his golden orbs- the same gold that brightened when he let the student go and raced back to your side. Mammon was still undoubtedly angry at the other demon, baring teeth as he glared at him over his shoulder. Getting the hint, he and your other classmates hurried out of the room.

Mammon asked again if you were okay. You said yes. His eyes traveled from yours to your ankle (When writing this, I almost said, “His eyes traveled down south for the winter. Not even kidding), and he removed your shoe. He wrapped his hand around your ankle and gently poked it with his thumb, eliciting a quiet whimper. The pout he gave after almost made you laugh despite the pain.

“Yeah, I ain’t lettin’ ya walk like that,” he murmured. His eyes met yours again and his pout spread into a white smile. “Guess it’s my duty to help ya back to your room.”

As you recalled one past life-threatening instance, you understood Mammy loved playing the hero, so you agreed.

Mammon turned on his knees, facing his back towards you. Carefully, he trudged backward to you, keeping his eyes trained to yours. He was subconsciously looking for any sign of discomfort- another testament to how caring he was, even if he didn’t recognize it. He gripped the backside of your knees firmly and dipped his head. That gave you enough room to pull yourself forward, wrapping your arms over his shoulders, mindful not to put too much pressure around his neck. You didn’t want to accidentally choke your knight in messy uniform.

“I hope I’m not too heavy,” you breathed against his neck. He shook off the shiver you caused with a hearty laugh.

“There’s no way you’re too heavy for the Great Mammon!” he protested, pulling you closer to him by your knees.

In one fluid motion, he hoisted you up and stood. He was pretty graceful for a “scumbag,” and you hugged yourself closer. Your chin found a home on his shoulder, slipping past the undone collar of his shirt, clinging to the warmth of his skin. Additionally, your arms were pushing his jacket further past his shoulders to his elbows, but there was no way he was going to complain. On the contrary, the pink gracing his cheeks proposed he liked the closeness. Well, that wasn’t very tsundere of him. Before you could catch it, a giggle slipped past your lips as he stepped out of the classroom.

“What’s so funny, human?” Mammon asked, nudging your cheek with his. You wondered if he could feel how he made your face hotter than hell. He must have because his step faltered.

“Nothing. Just thinking about how selfless you are.” That was sorta true.

Unlike the cheerfulness that rang from him before, his laugh was dull. He removed his cheek from yours and looked straight ahead.

“I ain’t selfless!” His hollow laugh died down, and he turned serious. “If anything, I’m selfish and greedy. I wanted to be the hero, I wanted to save you, and nobody else ain’t gonna get the chance to when I’m around!” His voice picked up when he finished, and his eyes were renewed with vibrancy as he looked to you. He cheered himself up with his own words, and his “greed” flowed from him like sweetness.

“Still, you’re sweet to help me. Thank you,” you cooed, connecting your cheeks once again.

This time, it was Mammy’s turn to erupt into a flustered state. He almost tripped over his own two feet, though he was careful to keep himself up. He was carrying precious cargo after all.

Upon delivering you to your dorm, the two of you spent the rest of the day watching your favorite shows and movies, eating your favorite snacks. Of course, Mammon argued he only allowed such thing ‘cause he liked them too.’

Lucifer's (Part 1): Pride In Arms

#obey me!#obey me shall we date #obey me mammon #obey me boys #obey me fluff #obey me mammon fluff #obey me fanfic #mammon fluff #fluff #mammon angst #like super light angst though #mammon avatar of greed #mammon x reader #mammon x you #Mammon carries you #pact marks #order that boi around (lovingly)#Soft Mammon #give him a hug

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scorpionyx9621 · 3 years ago

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Idk seems like a shallow take with lots of provable arguments against it. For example, beyond who they kill and why Joker has years of canon domestic abuse, and multiple instances of sexual assault. Their relationships and histories are completely different. You could also make the joke that only one of them actually killed a Robin. They just aren't the same, at least no more than Midnighter and Joker are the same.

So I don't know if you're being full-on serious with this or just trying to start an argument. I'm going to give the benefit of the doubt and try to explain my side.

I'm fully aware that Jason and Joker have a lot of differences. Yet at the same time they have a lot of similarities as well. There's a reason why Judd Winnick emphasized their similarities in Under the Hood by giving Jason Joker's old villain identity before he became Joker. It wasn't just to get Joker's attention as Jason said, but also to show that Jason was stooping down to the Joker's level.

Is Jason a rapist? No, he kills rapists. But I'm going to say that again. Jason kills rapists. This being a Batman comic and Jason Todd and Joker being Batman characters they are lumped together in Bruce's eyes because of his idiotic Kantian philosophy of never kill no matter what. Batman is that black and white. I can go on all day about the differences between apples and oranges, you can call Jason an apple and Joker an orange, yes they are two completely different flavor profiles and colors and textures, but under the philosophy that Batman uses, they're both still fruit.

You realize how stupid that sounds right? Any sane, logical person would have killed the Joker decades ago, but because there's to be no killing under Batman's watch ever, that's not going to happen. Bruce would bring the Joker back to life just the same way that he would for Jason. Is it fair? Absolutely not, Jason has saved people's lives for Pete's sake. The Joker just sows chaos and brings misery wherever he goes. Yet at the end of the day both Joker and Jason have crossed the red line multiple times and with 0 regret. And to Batman, whom is the central figure of these comics, that is his dividing line you shall not cross.

Jason Todd is no Joker by most means, but when you think about all the shit Jason has done over the years, including the stuff that has been ret-conned, I'd argue Jason has more in common with Joker than he does with Bruce at this point. Including but not limited to.

1. Poisoned 80 prisoners to death during Dick's run as Batman.

2. Blew up a school with people inside it when Speedy wouldn't join him in his crimes in Seeing Red. It isn't explicitly said who was or wasn't inside the building but if Jason blew up a school, he's okay with killing children.

3. Has tried to kill Tim, Dick and Damian on multiple occasions (and has failed, not for a lack of him trying)

4. Goes on a mass killing spree while dressed as Batman, not caring who he kills in Battle for the Cowl (oh, this one was written by everyone's beloved Judd Winnick too btw)

5. Goes on a mass killing spree while dressed as Nightwing, not caring who he kills (this is from the same Nightwing run we get TentaTodd by the way.)

6. In an act of blind rage he kills the father of a child he just met not an hour before in Urban Legends all because low and behold, Jason has his own philosophical bullshit he follows where if you give drugs to kids bam you're dead. (I don't have the energy to argue the morals and ethics of giving your own child illegal substances on this post it's already running way too long)

7. In Final Crusade Jason actively revels in inflicting pain and suffering on villains. He kills a man by crushing his head on a car hood and hangs a person. Oh and he does all of this as Robin.

Debating the ethics and morals of Batman on Tumblr is frustrating at best and makes me want to ram my head into a brick wall at worst. I meant that post mostly as a cheap joke and a cheap meme to get cheap likes on this cheap website. I put maybe 20 minutes of effort into that meme and while I see what you're trying to prove, I'm but a silly little fool clown who says shit on a website that cost Verizon a billion dollars. I'm not going to lose sleep over constructive criticism of a character so consistently inconsistent you'll have people throwing full-blown temper tantrums anytime they depict Jason Todd any way that they don't like. I'm as shallow as a wading pool, but at the end of the day we're the ones here wearing the clown makeup arguing in our clown cars over whether apples and oranges are the more heinous comic book villains.

At the end of the day the very nature of Jason's ethics and philosophy is that some crimes are so heinous they shouldn't be forgiven. Which is objectively correct. There's no debating that. Yet because we're stuck under this Batman umbrella as because DC Comics can't decide whether they want Jason Todd to be a hero or a villain or not, we're stuck with an anti-hero with contradictory philosophies to his mentor trying to be a good guy when 80% or people who have a strong opinion about Red Hood demanding that DC comics be burned at the stake for getting his character wrong. With a sizable amount of them on their hands and knees begging for Jason to be an absolutely feral villain again who is "strong, smart, deadly, capable, fearsome." When in reality you can get all of these traits and no daddy issues right there in The Joker. If I wanted a villain who is capable and fearsome killer who strikes fear into the heart of Gotham i'd just be a Joker kinnie. Why should I even bother with Jason? Yet this is what a very vocal majority of the fandom clamors for every time we get a new Jason comic.

Again, I know you weren't trying to get a rant or a tangent and were just trying to prove a point. I have no clue who you are and I'm sorry if any of this came across as offensive. But I'm not here to try to make a bad thing worse. I made a cheap meme for cheap likes, please try not to think too hard about it. It's more fun that way.

#ask Jack #jason todd #bat family #gosh this was exhausting #thanks for the ask but i need a nap after this.

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machinegunbun · 4 years ago

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hey hey! if you’re feeling up to it, may we get some romantic pete hcs/a blurb? 🧎‍♀️

i love your work! 💗

Meet The L/N’s | Pete Davidson

Ask and ye shall receive (sometimes. Today, atleast.)

tw?: Hoelotta angst with a happy# ending. edit: reader/ y/n is immature and definitely the problem. pete is very understanding. this is mostly drama for drama sake

Word count: 2k

You and your family didn’t always get along, thus you moving all the way to New York so you could have a life of your own, but every once in a while you got together and it was actually nice. You were laughing and reminiscing, when all the sudden there was a knock at the door.

Walking over, you didn’t think to check the peephole before opening your door. You instantly regretted this as you were met with the sight of you boyfriend standing in front of you, all six foot of him, pizza and ice cream in hand.

“Hey, you look cute.”

You stood, frozen in place, unsure what to do. It wasn’t until Pete leaned in for a kiss that you moved out of his way, swinging your arm out in a gesture to invite him in.

Your mind swirled as you tried to remember if you had accidentally agreed to a date with him the same week that your folks would be in town. You only hoped the shock, or was it fear, didn’t come across on your face.

As he stepped into your apartment you scurried off to the kitchen, Pete close in tow.

“Oh, you have people over. Sorry, I would’ve brought more if I knew she had guests.” He says, waving kindly to the group of people in your living room on his way to the kitchen.

“What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to surprise you. Who are they?” Pete asks, his voice low as he sets the pizza on the table.

“That’s my family.” You whisper back, sighing.

“That’s alright, we were just talking about what to have for dinner anyway.” Your mom says, waving off his apology

Yeah I’ll order more pizza.” You say, excusing yourself to the bathroom. Once you’d walked in and locked the door, your back slid against the wall until your butt hit the floor. You’re stressing — hard — and you needed a moment to think, you’d order the pizza later.

“Nice to meet you, finally.” Pete says, walking into the living room to greet your family. He wipes the sweat from hands subtly on his pants before extending his hand to your father, indulging in a firm handshake.

“Nice to meet you, sir.” Your father replies, although unsure who exactly he was meeting. Pete tried guessing everyone's names, leading to a more formal introduction of who they were and whether they were your older or younger sibling. It got quiet though, after, as no one was quite sure what his name was, or if it would be rude to ask.

“So… You’re (Y/n)’s friend?” Your mother tries

“Uh, Yeah- well, we’re dating.”

“Oh, really? For how long?”

“Been dating for five months, but we’ve known each other,” Pete paused to think before continuing “A little over a year and a half.”

“Wow, you’ve been together that long? She never even mentioned she was seeing anyone.” Pete’s smile dropped momentarily, suddenly very self conscious.

“Yeah,” his sentence was broken up by a small, awkward laugh “I didn’t know you guys were gonna be here, otherwise I would’ve dressed a lot nicer.” He stopped again, nodding as he stood in the middle of your living room, your family looking up at him from their seats “and more pizza.” He tries, feeling like he’s in the middle of the worst standup show he’s ever done.

“What’s your name?” Your sister asks, breaking the awkward silence. God, how long did it take to order a pizza?

“Oh, Pete. Yeah, well, Peter, but no one calls me that. Except my mom when I fuck up. It sucks cause, like, I live with her- Well, not with her, we share a place, whatever I don’t have to defend myself. But like, when I fuck up and drop something she can just call from upstairs, like theres no getting away with anything.” He jokes, shooting a pleading glance over at the bathroom door.

“Hey, you’re still better than the last guy.” Your sister says, piquing Pete’s attention. Finally, some crowd interaction.

“Oh, yeah? Making fun of my girlfriend's exes with her family, I’m here for it. What’d he do?”

“I’ll tell you later.” She whispers, a grin across her face.

“I can’t believe you were together for five months and she never even said anything.” Your mom says, clearly still stuck on the situation.

“Yeah, I have no idea why.”

“Maybe she’s embarrassed of you.” Your sister jokes, receiving a smack on the arm from your older sister.

Taking a deep breath from your place on the floor, you made your way to your feet, flushing the toilet before promptly turning on the sink. You hadn’t even used the bathroom, but you needed an excuse for what had taken you so long.

“You have a boyfriend?” Your mom asks when you finally make your way out of the bathroom.

“Uh, yeah.” You reply, awkwardly wiping your wet hands on the back of your pants.

“You were together for five months and you never even mentioned him?” She asks. The question was innocent, a weird thing to do after all, but you knew it was the same thing that was on Pete’s mind and you were hoping to leave that conversation for later. Or never, preferably.

“Yeah, it’s just… I dunno, five months isn’t that long and I didn’t want to freak him out.” Everyone seemed to take this answer well, although you were sure they knew there was something else at hand.

“Anyway, what type of pizzas should I get?” You ask, trying to move on swiftly to the next topic, pulling your phone from your back pocket.

The night went on smoothly, sitting in a circle in the living room just talking and getting to know each other, sharing embarrassing stories that all seemed to center around you. Pete adored your family dynamic, he loved seeing where you came from and understanding why you are the way you are. You played some card games once the pizza had arrived and everyone had eaten, but eventually the night had to come to an end.

“Will you walk me to my car?” Pete asks, playfully batting his eyelashes at you.

“Sure.” You reply, the smile on your face reflecting the giddy feeling inside. At first you had been nervous about Pete meeting your family, would they like him? Would he like them? Would they make some offensive joke? Do they know what he’s like? Do they know he does drugs? Do they need to? Did lying about him reflect poorly on your relationship? You’d practically driven yourself crazy with worry, but in the end everything turned out great.

Pete and your family got along wonderfully. The room was constantly filled with laughter, everyone's sense of humor fitting nicely together. You could barely believe it, but somehow the way he interacted so well with them made you fall even more in love. He’s perfect.

You caught yourself smiling at your feet as you walked hand in hand to the elevator, your mind going over the impromptu meet the parents night. It wasn’t until you reached Pete’s car that your smile dropped. He had invited you in to sit with him and the first words from his mouth were

“Okay, so what the fuck?”

“What do you mean?” You ask, anxiety taking over your body. Fuck, what had they done? The apartment was small and the walls were thin, so even when you weren’t in the room there was very little time for them to say something you wouldn’t hear. It was just like your family to find some way to mess this up.

“Your parents are in town and you don’t even think to tell me? I have to find out because I wanted to surprise you with a date?”

“Like I said, we haven’t been dating for long and I didn’t want to weird you out.” You defend, avoiding eye contact and choosing instead to focus on the glove compartment in front of you. For once it wasn’t your family who fucked it up. It was you.

“That’s bullshit, you know I like to meet girls parents as soon as possible. Stop trying to make it seem like I’m the one with the problem. Did you not want me to meet them?” Pete prods, despite his words, the tone he used was calm, mindful not to come off on the offense.

“I could understand if you weren’t ready for me to meet them, or them to meet me, even,” A whispered no from you did very little to stop his rant, “but I was talking to your mom and she was like ‘Yeah I figured you were her boyfriend, because you showed up with snacks and a movie, yenno. I didn’t even know she was seeing anyone.’ I was like wow she doesn’t ever talk about me? Sick. That’s not super awkward at all.”

“Fine. It’s okay if you don’t wanna talk.” His tone was definitely not reassuring. There was a weight behind his words.

“What do you mean?” Your gaze lifting to meet his for the first time

“Get out of my car.” He shrugs

“Pete, seriously? You’re gonna break up with me over this?’

“So talk to me! I’m so tired of having to baby you everytime we get in a fight.”

“Fine! I didn’t fucking want them to meet you because I wasn’t ready. I’m sorry, I don’t feel like five months of dating is enough to meet someone's parents.”

“We’ve known eachother a year and a half, and we’ve spent most of it hanging out. Is five months of dating also not enough to tell your parents about me?”

“I don’t know Pete, I wasn’t thinking about it. It’s just awkward!” If you were honest, you still weren’t really thinking. Not about what you said, or how you would explain to your parents later that you had a boyfriend you never mentioned. Pete wasn’t thinking about what he was saying much, either. You were both just speaking whatever came to mind, in a courtroom where you felt you were being convicted. Guilty of avoidant attachment style

“No shit it’s awkward! It was awkward when I showed up and expected everyone to at least know who I was and to find out through your mom you never even mentioned me.”

“I didn’t ask you to come over! None of this would’ve happened if you weren’t so clingy.”

“Am I clingy or do you just have commitment issues?” What had once been a simple conversation, although one sided, had quickly turned into a screaming match. You would’ve been surprised if your family hadn’t heard it from the 12th floor of your apartment building. Silence fell over the car, the air full of angry words and hurt feelings. Your head leant back to rest against the seat, taking in a deep breath that ended with a sigh.

“I love you. I’m dating you because I’ve never felt this way about somebody before and I really want to take the next steps in our relationship. You’re right, five months is a short period of time. I guess I just feel like it’s been longer because we were friends before and I’ve felt this way for awhile. I get it if you’re not ready, but please just talk to me next time.

“Finding out they didn’t know about me made it feel like you were embarrassed of me, or hiding me or something, like maybe you don’t plan on keeping me around for long.”

“I get that. I’m sorry,” You reply, leaning over to wrap your arms around him “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I’m just not very close with my family, it’s why I moved to New York. It’s not that I was embarrassed of anyone, I just like to keep my personal life and my family life separate and I guess I never really considered that you’re gonna be a part of both.” Pete nods, brushing a piece of your hair behind your ear.

“Do you think they liked me?” He asks, insecurity evident in his voice.

“Yeah,” You laugh “I think they liked you.”

---

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