#all of u KILL YOURSELVES NOW

[ptsdickgrayson]

The way a lot of u are obsessed with incest is rlly truly concerning. Go get the rope.

[misterradio]

[cresselia voice] you two should kill yourselves... now!!

[sphingogo]

only on Twitter can statements like “exposing cancer patients to COVID (the disease that kills people, especially people with cancer) so you can throw an in-person event is a terrible thing to do” and “throwing events without COVID (the disease that kills people) mitigations kills people” be controversial

[xinganhao]

✏️ seatmates joshua x reader.

prompt: "we sit next to each other every day, i lend you pencils, you share snacks with me, people are assuming we’re a couple, let’s go with that." ✶ part of my svt university milestone event

⤿ fluff, slight miscommunication, joshua is whipped, jeongcheol [if u squint!]. more content under the cut. ♡⸝⸝ prompt from anon!

It's not looking like a good start of the week for Seungcheol.

He had an insane bender the night before. He missed the morning bus to school and ended up walking the whole two-kilometer way. And now, the not-quite-a-couple duo who sat in front of him at class was back on their bullshit again.

With his fingers pressed to his temple, Seungcheol watches warily as the starry-eyed boy— Joshua, Seungcheol thinks his name is— places a canned coffee atop the edge of your desk. God, Seungcheol would kill for that right about now.

He's too far gone to make out anything the two of you are saying, but Seungcheol can fill in the blanks. It's probably something stupid, he thinks bitterly. Good morning, love. How was your weekend, love? I missed you, love.

Blegh.

There's only one thing he can think to do. Seungcheol whips out his phone and shoots out a quick slew of texts, trying to ignore the way that Joshua has begun to laugh a little too loud at something you just said.

Seungcheol it's a monday and i'm hungover and the pretty boy in front of me keeps making heart eyes at his seatmate he's laughing. i'm hungover to the heavens and he's laughing god what have i done to deserve this god when will it be my turn Jeonghan you think someone else is pretty? :( Seungcheol do NOT start with me rn

Seokmin doesn't think Joshua notices.

It's just like Joshua, really, to be a bit slow on the uptake when it comes to matters of the heart. And so Seokmin nods along, the perfect picture of indulgence, as you wheedle your way into Joshua's every day.

You don't even have to show up in the physical sense. Joshua fills in those gaps for you. I think they'll like this, Joshua (while holding a box of some obscure snack) tells Seokmin at the grocery store. They'll get a kick out of that, Joshua cackles as he snaps a photo of a silly eraser.

Seokmin knows he could, should probably ask his best friend what the hell is going on. The boy is in desperate need of a quick 'check-the-label' moment, honestly.

In the end, Seokmin decides: Not my circus, not my monkeys.

He figures the two of you will eventually hammer it out yourselves. It's a rite of passage, isn't it? The limbo of flirtation, confined in the four corners of a classroom. The happy crush that may or may not reciprocate.

As Joshua all but skips— honest-to-God skips!— to the Wednesday session of his class with you, Seokmin can't help the fond shake of his head at what Joshua has gotten himself into. Sharing snacks and stationery every M/W/F?

There are worse situationships to have, Seokmin concedes.

Professor Kang has been in the academe for nearly two decades.

He's watched relationships bloom, and last, and end. One or two students have even invited him to their weddings. There's no shortage of gossip in the faculty rooms; there's always a seating plan to orchestrate, a partnered project to use for a little drama.

He likes to think he has a sixth sense for this sort of thing, and that's why he initially believed that you and Joshua... aren't really a thing.

Sure, the two of you bend your heads together a little too close when discussing something. He notices, too, the exchanges— both the transactional and spoken ones. But he's unconvinced, for the most part of the semester, that there's not really anything worth reading into.

That is, until, you don't show up to class one day. On a whim, Professor Kang asks Joshua about your absence, and the boy fumbles with his phone for a couple of minutes.

"Doctor's appointment," Joshua eventually divulges, though there's a slightly worried crease in his eyebrows that has Professor Kang thinking, huh.

That huh gives way to an ah when, at the next class, the two of you slot right back into place. Professor Kang catches bits and pieces of your conversation with Joshua; how he eagerly inquires about your Friday plans, how he listens intently to your little rants.

As the two of you walk out the classroom, your shoulders brush. It's slight enough that anybody not really looking would miss it, would dismiss it, but Professor Kang can only watch with amusement. Joshua apologizes for crowding you— only to take an infinitesimal step closer as the two of you leave the classroom.

By the time the two of you are out in the hall, your shoulders are almost touching again.

Ah, Professor Kang thinks. He swears he's seen it all in the past twenty years, but he's not immune to making mistakes.

Perhaps they're a little bit in love, after all.

[hannieehaee]

content: husband!wonwoo, fluff, gender neutral reader, u guys are married, just a very tender night in bed shared with ur husband wonu (kill me), etc.

wc: 514

a/n: sorry this is so short T-T a cute night in his arms is the first thing that came to mind at the mention of husband wonwoo </3 god i want him so bad

masterlist

"do you remember the day i proposed?", he asked as he absentmindedly ran his hands up and down your back, holding you against his chest.

you were laying in bed together, dissecting each other's days as you allowed yourselves to relax after your respective grueling days. you matched his actions, allowing your hands to feel the warmth of his back as you dug them under his shirt, soft in your movements just like him.

you half snorted, "'remember'? it was only two years ago, nonu. i think about it all the time."

"yeah?", he smiled at this, repositioning you so that he could look into your eyes. he chuckled as you complained at the new distance, having been completely pressed up against him just moments ago.

"i was so nervous that day. i was terrified you were gonna say no," he revealed, shy smile adorning his face.

"really? why would i ever say no, nonu? you knew i was in love with you."

"yeah, but ... i dont know. never really imagined id get to marry the love of my life. i saw it in movies. i saw my parents, my grandparents. i saw people i knew. but i never thought it'd be me someday. it was only ever a dream. you made it a reality."

being married to wonwoo, you shouldve gotten used to his soft-spoken words by now. to the way he'd convey the sweetest of statements without even batting an eye. but you still found yourself affected by him, with your heart melting every time he unknowingly waxed poetic at you.

"nonu .. it was always a yes. you couldve asked me on day one and it wouldve been a yes."

"oh? you liked me that much?", now he was smirking, pulling you closer once again.

"shut up. you're hot, okay? i'm not stupid you're totally wife material."

"hah," he chuckled, "'wife?'"

"don't argue with me. you asked me to marry you."

he hummed, "yeah. and i'd do it again," he paused, "love waking up next to you every day. love holding you through the night even more. never knew how soundly i could sleep until i first held you in my arms."

there he was again. his words made you feel like you were floating, never being able to get used to the adoration he held for you. you couldnt help yourself when you wrapped yourself tighter around him, nuzzling your face into the warmth of the crook of his neck. he took the hint and held you even closer, making sure his arms trapped the entirety of you against him.

this had to be your favorite thing about being married to your husband. he'd loved and held you all throughout your relationship, but now that you were married, every time you were in his arms it felt like a promise. like he would keep you close to him no matter what happened.

"i love you."

"me more," he kissed the top of your head, chuckling at your whine in disagreement, "sleep, my love. let me hold you and never let go."

[adaelines]

Home And More

hiii my back is killing me but horny for simon NEVER stops!!! afab but gender neutral reader, consentual somnophilia, simon eats u out whilst u sleep bc he wants u that bad, simon cums in his pants from eating u out

Ghost was always there for you. 

He lived up to his namesake in that regard, always spotted in the corner of your eyesite, most of the time gone by the time moved to greet him, or ask what he was up to during some rather strange times you caught him watching. 

He protected you, kept an eye on you best he could, wanted to keep you safe.

He knew you didn't need it, knew as a fellow member of 141 that you could easily protect yourself, he trusted you more than he trusted himself sometimes, but you two were close. Not in the same way the rest of 141 was, despite how strong your relationship was with them, it was different with Ghost. It was more.

Whilst neither of you outright defined your relationship, never had the time to go on proper dates or spend as much time together as you wanted, it was obvious to everyone, including yourselves, that you loved each other more than life itself. The situations you both often found yourselves in caused your relationship to blossom much quicker than would be considered usual, but nothing about your relationship was usual. 

Long nights of watch often lead to keeping each other company as you cleaned your weapons, sitting together in a comfortable silence and just existing together. To him, it was the little things about you that he craved, the happiness in stolen moments together, even in the worst of situations. It was comfortable with you, even after days of fighting, after having to shield every emotion behind getting the job done efficiently, prioritising anything but yourselves. 

It was these times spent together that led to Simon longing for you when apart, the silence away from you almost unbearable. It was the same as it always was, even when you were there the silence was the same, but to him it was a stark difference. Your missing presence was notable, it left him on edge and more snappy than his normal, usually friendly jabs. Fingers twitching often like he wanted to hold something, wanted to reach out and grab.

It was this pining, the want in his chest that lasted the entire mission, that led him to your room, quickened steps uncaring of the time of night, of the fact anyone of sound might would be asleep right now. Not Simon, however, not when he spent the last weeks aching to touch you, the time alone on watch usually spent by your side instead spent humping his fist, nothing being enough without your touch, your voice right beside his ear.

The way he slammed your door open he was surprised you didn't wake up immediately, the desperation causing him to use a little too much force, if the walls weren't as sturdy as they were, he was sure the door handle would have left a sizable indent in the wall behind. He just couldn't help himself, not when you were finally in his reach, finally before him, finally able to feel you again, properly. 

The scent of you, your room full of everything you, was enough to make Simon shiver, hands almost shaking as he removed the blanket from your sleeping form and grabbed your hips, dropping to his knees and pulling you towards him. He knew you were okay with this, heard your voice telling him to just take you whenever, you really wouldn't mind, not when it's him, not when you've missed him just as much as he's missed you. Any touch from him is a blessing, waking up to him is an honour. 

He made quick work of your shorts, your underwear alongside them, almost groaning when he could finally see all of you, finally see the hole he'd been desperate to fuck the entire time he was away from you. His hand never compared to being buried deep inside of you, how tight you were, how you would whine his name and beg for more. Shoving the mask off of his face, the balaclava up above his nose, he spread you apart with his thumbs and let a low hum at the sight, how absolutely delicious you looked. 

He missed this. Missed seeing so needy for him, even unconsciously, he loved knowing that you needed him as much as he felt like he needed you.

It was easy for him to lean down, press a soft kiss against your clit, before absolutely devouring you. 

It was your own loud, depraved whine that woke you up, your thighs tensing around Simon's head and hand immediately going to push him away. 

"Don't," Simon all but growled at your attempt, flattening his tongue to lick from hole to clit. His voice was so deep, so gravelly, you couldn't help the whine that escaped. 

You went slack against the bed, the hand in the top of his mask only tightening, no longer pushing him away but pulling him against you, thighs tense on either side of his head. 

"Sweet thing," Simon's voice was low, a quiet whimper. "Sorry for wakin' you, just needed your cunt too badly." 

"It's- okay!" Your voice was all whines at this point, high pitched and needy. Even when trying to reassure him, he didn't pause for even a minute. Even when you were trying to tell him you didn't mind, that he could spit in your mouth and use you so that he gets off, you wouldn't care at all, so long as he feels good.

Sleep still clouded your mind, still covered your thoughts in a blanket of grogginess, but the pleasure Simon gave you was red-hot, almost blinding. It was hard to even think when he was this close, this determined to bring you to the peak of your pleasure over and over, as much as his energy drained body would allow. 

"Simon," You whined, and you could feel him grin against you, could feel the low groan he let out at you simply moaning his name at his actions. He really was pent up, if just your voice and taste was getting to him that much, and he thanked whatever God was out there that you were too tired to focus on anything, you weren't able to see how he was humping the air. 

"S'okay, love, just stay still, yeah?" Voice slightly muffled, unable to pull away even to respond. "I'll take good care of you…" 

He touched you, ate you, like a man starved. And he was. He missed your taste so much, missed feeling you tremble on his tongue. He would happily spend hours between your thighs, devouring you whole.

"Needy cunt just wanted attention, who am I to deny my sweet little thing?" 

Suckling your clit into his mouth, it wasn't hard for him to move his fingers to your hole, for him to press inside, very little resistance as a result of his tongue and how much your pussy was practically drooling against him. 

Your hands were tight in his hair, the balaclava pushed off due to your grip, your desperation to touch him, your Simon, not any mask or material.

"S'too much, please-!" 

"You can take it," He muttered against you, eyes lidded and watching, tone almost stern. "You're always so good for me, always so sweet… you can take anything I give you, pretty thing." 

His lips and tongue on your clit, fingers pressed deep inside, the fact he was finally here, in your bed like you dreamed of him being, was all so overwhelming. It didn't take long for you to reach your peak, not when you've been waiting for this since the moment he left, been waiting for his touch since the last time you felt it.

The hands in his hair tightened, your voice raising an octave as you moaned his name, and if Simon wasn't as strong as you knew he was, you would be worried at how tightly your thighs were around his head. You knew he didn't care, knew he welcomed anything that meant you were as close as possible, loved when rode his face and used him for your own pleasure, as you were doing now, bucking against him and holding him close.

The groan he let's out is low, needy, and if you weren't as overwhelmed as you were, completely out of it with white hot pleasure, you would have teased him for how much it sounded like a whine.

It quickly became too much, hand still holding his hair tight moving to push him away, move him away from your incredibly sensitive cunt. 

The grin he gave you was devilish, devious as he moved up from his knees to kiss you, to press his lips against yours and consume you whole, based on how desperate he seemed. 

"Simon," You muttered into the kiss, breathing slowly and heavily. You had missed him so much, missed feeling him against you, it was such a blessing to have him back. 

"Gimme a minute," Your voice was low as you pulled away, moving to instead trail kisses down his cheek, his jaw. "You can do whatever you want to me."

"No need," he spoke quietly, slowly, like he was ashamed. You would be worried if it wasn't for the flush on his cheeks, the way he narrowly avoided your eyes and refused to look at you. "I'm uh... I'm good." 

Simon, the insatiable man that he was, refusing something like this? You moved one hand to hold his jaw, pulling back with narrowed eyes. He still refused to look at you, and when he moved his hips away, you realised what happened.

Simon came in his pants from eating you out.

The grin that spread across your face was quick, bright, and it only made the flush on his face worse. 

"Simon!" You whispered, grin bright and tone full of fake shock, "Really?"

"Don't," He groaned against you, hiding his face in your shoulders. "Seriously. Don't you dare. Fuckin' embarrassing."

You quickly moved to press another kiss on his lips, full of love and utter adoration. You knew what he was like, knew how easily he could turn against himself, feel bad about the smallest of things that didn't truly matter. It was easy for him to put walls back up, to pull away and retreat back into himself, and you wouldn't let that happen. 

"You're so fucking hot," You muttered into the kiss, gently biting into his lower lip. "Jesus, Simon, really? God, I can't believe you're this hot,"

The low noise he let into the kiss made everything worth it. The time away, the time spent missing him, it didn't matter when he was here, finally. 

Simon was home, back with you, where he belonged.

[sanarsi]

Kinktober Day 3

Monsterfucking

monster!Oberyn Martell x f!Reader

Gif credits @pedrorascal

Summary: Your poison lessons with Oberyn went wrong when he accidentally drank the wrong potion. Warnings: +18, MDNI, monster fucking, unprotected PIV, dubcon, rough sex, dirty talk, possessed!Oberyn, insults Wordcount: 1,1k An: Oh god… this is my first time writing something like this. I have no idea if i even managed to portray the monster fucking well (just kill me ok). Today I just wanted to thank the people who read all my works on an ongoing basis (I see u @amyispxnk) and let you know that, YES, I see all the comments and reblogs, BUT I'm busy gettin ready for vacation, so I don't even have time to go on tumblr. I promise I'll answer everything when I'm at home, under the covers and with a warm cup of tea. So lots of kisses and hugs to the people who comment on my works. I love you xx

Masterlist and Kinktober Masterlist

You were prepared for a lot in life, meticulously improved your skills in every field.

History, magic and... potions.

Thanks to your skills, you were given the honor of personal lessons with the Prince of Dorne. In the old, dirty and forgotten basements of the castle, where there were only you, old books and thousands of glass vials filled with deadly substances.

When you look at it from a third-person perspective, it sounded like a guaranteed tragedy. And that's exactly what it was.

After a few hours, tiredness took over your senses, which in the circumstances you were in, was simply unacceptable.

No one in their right mind would continue such dangerous activities, feeling even the slightest dizziness from the lack of fresh air and sun. And yet, you two forgot yourselves, too caught up in your studies and how much fun you were having.

Because, it had to be admitted, there had been unspoken words between you for a long time and you took advantage of every moment together.

This is what led you to the situation you find yourself in.

Tragedy.

Even the two of you, some of the best scholars in the kingdom, couldn't have predicted that someone had mislabeled the vials. Such a small mistake had large and terrible consequences. And you became the only witness who, unfortunately for you, experienced the effects of a potion of unknown origin on your skin.

On your skin, or rather, in you.

“Stay still.” Another loud growl bounced off the walls.

You squeezed your eyes shut, holding back a tearful moan. His body pressed you hard against the table as he tried to push deeper into you. Your body, however, was not used to such sudden and hard penetration.

You were shaking, trying to get used to the size of his cock, which had plunged into you just as unexpectedly as this whole situation had started.

You couldn't even fully process what was happening. His eyes went black in a split second, casting a terrifying darkness within him. A darkness that turned him into a mindless beast that longed to sink its teeth into the closest living creature - you.

“Why do you have to be so tight,” he gasped against your ear and thrust his hips hard again, pushing deeper into you. “I want all of you.”

Your pussy was throbbing with pain and wild pleasure you had never known before. And even though the prince wasn't himself right now, this was what you had dreamed of since the day you met him; for him to sink into you and make you forget about everything.

You moaned loudly, gripping the edges of the table tighter as it creaked with every movement. Your eyes misted over each time his tip dug into your cervix.

“Oberyn, please,” you sobbed.

You received a raspy laugh in response that didn’t sound like him at all.

“Pathetic little girl, you really think your prince is with us now?”

You shivered at the sound of his voice, strangely distant and deep.

He dug his fingers deeper into your hips, finally pushing himself all the way inside you. An animalistic groan escaped his throat as he could feel how wet and tight you were all over his cock, clenching around him over and over again.

You barely had time to catch your breath as his hot breath fanned your neck and another dark laugh reached your ears.

“So what are you?”

Your question hung unanswered as he busied himself with inhaling your scent and licking your skin. You were overwhelmed by the closeness he was taking over you, everywhere, on every side. There was only him.

“I am everything he wants to be.”

He slowly pulled his hips back, allowing you to feel every inch of his manhood. You shivered, desire to have him inside of you again overwhelm your senses.

He didn't let your dreams wait long to come true.

He thrust into you, the force making both of you shudder. The feeling of bliss was so great that it took over him almost immediately as his hips slammed against yours.

Without thinking, he began to fuck you. Hard. Not allowing you to think. All you could focus on was how the pleasure and pain mingled into an addictive feeling that was building in your core.

“Do you know how long he’s wanted to feel your cunt?” he asked, breathing heavily from the pace he set for himself. “Gods, how could he hold back for so long?”

He shook his head in disbelief, a wild glint passing through his black eyes as he stared at your pathetic form, moaning in adoration. He thrust into you harder, making you cry out. A pleased smirk appeared on his face before he leaned in close to you again.

“I’ve had you for a few minutes and already want to keep you.” His breath fanned your ear, sending shivers down your spine. “Forever sinking into your wet, warm flesh,” he purred.

“Yes, please,” you gasped, overwhelmed by how good it felt to have him inside you, against you, on you. He was pleased with how drunk you were.

“Give me your orgasm, little mortal.”

His cock stimulated everything it needed, to bring you closer to your desired fulfillment. You had no idea if it was because of the demon that had taken control of him, or the fact that it was in his body and you could finally feel what it was like to have him inside you.

Oberyn thrust into you recklessly, as if that was all he was made for. Your increasingly loud moans only fueled him. He wanted more. More of you, your heavenly core, and your animalistic sounds.

“Show me what pleasure I give you,” he whispered, running his nose along your neck, where he sank his teeth a moment later.

He did it so hard, that the piercing pain went straight between your legs, and the orgasm shook your body. You screamed in euphoria, pulsating on him so hard that he had to pull out of you so he wouldn't come.

“I love the orgasms of sluts like you,” he laughed mockingly, and when he let you experience your fulfillment, he thrust into you again.

You sobbed, overwhelmed by the intense feelings you had just experienced. The shadow of your coming still wandered over your body when he started fucking you again.

“Oh yes, even wetter and more sensitive,” he said with satisfaction as he listened to your helpless moans. “Don't worry, we're just gettin’ started.”

Tags: @mattmurdocksdumpy @milly-louise @rosi3ba3z @candlelover @gothcsz @tateypots @chloe302225 @natalieispunk @amyispxnk @mandoloriancookie @libre-sol @alex-does-art-things @xxchumanixx @ch3rryyyyyyyyyy @bbyanarchist @la-vie-est-une-fleur29 and @iamasaddie bc I know u love oberyn

[everywherea11thetime]

So High School | ln4 x singer!reader| smau

warnings: mentions of sex

a/n: added a lil espresso bc it was way too short:/

y/ninstagram

liked by 300,405 others

y/ninstagram: New single out now! It’s called so high school. I wanna thank jack for helping produce this and i wanna thank my boy for being my muse<3 You know who you are i love you;).

view all comments

fan63: YESS Y/N IS FEEDING USSSS

fan95: hello who is this about😭

fan24: girlll “you know how to drive i know Aristotle” imma need every person who has a license in the world

fan78: is this abt a race car driver?

→fan75: Nascar maybe??

mclaren: We love the song y/n🧡

→fan35: ariana wyd here?

→fan40: is the song about a mclaren driver?

→fan28: girl no

twitter

fan40: guys I think so high school is abt a McLaren f1 driver and here’s why. Most obvious one, in her song So High School she says you know how to drive i know aristotle, so it’s somebody in the racing world, then on her anouncement mclaren commented saying that they “loved the song” know it might just be that y/n a McLaren f1 fan but also maybe they met at the bahrain gp that y/n was in march. coincidence I THINK NOT.

→fan38: girl im not gonna lie ur kinda onto something…

→fan82: nurse shes out again!

F1wags

Liked by:y/ninstagram and 18,974 others

F1wags: Lando Norris and singer/songwriter Y/n Y/Ln spotted at Club Gascon in London out only a week after speculations of who her new song So High School was about. People said they had their romantic dinner then were spotted walking to the guildhall art gallery. New couple alert?

view all comments

fan64: Y/N IN THE LIKES?????!!!!

fan71: guys maybe that twitter thread was right…

fan49: she dates to many guys, im scared for lando

→fan57: her song abt him is literally how she wants them to be forever bsffr…

fan35: Not my two worlds colliding

fan91: im actually so ready for this relationship

fan86: the next album is about to be so fireee

fan63: @/y/ninstagram @/landonorris care to explain yourselves???

→y/ninstagram: No thanks

→landonorris: no we’re good

→fan63: WE’RE!!!???????

fan54: THEY HIT THE PENTAGON

Texts between lando and y/n

y/n: should we just hard launch already?

landino: I mean they kinda already know.

y/n: alr im making the post, make yours sweet please. I dont trust you

landino: awhh please baby i had a whole caption out😔🤚

y/n: don’t come crying to after mclaren scolding you again babe

landino: YIPPIEEEE

y/ninstagram

y/ninstagram: you know what you wanted and boy, you got her🧡 ft real pic of me on the last slide watching lan and his friends listen to so high school

tagged:landonorris

comments

maxfewtrell: still haven’t recovered from that song…

→landonorris: wanna play gta tonight?

→maxfewtrell: NO

→angryginge13: NO

→martingarrix: NO

→ maxverstappen: NO

→ danielricciardo: NO

→ y/ninstagram: damn, American Pie then?

landonorris: love you babe(i would have chose kill)

→ y/ninstagram: oh what’d you say “no sex for a month”

→ landonorris: NO I SAID I LOVE YOU AND YOUR THE BEST PERSON ON THIS EARTH AND YOUR SO AWESOME AND COOL😍❤️❤️❤️💕💕😘😘🥰(plz lemme eat u out)

fan40: I WAS RIGHT AND U ALL SAID I WAS CRAZY

fan83: the fifth slide!!!!???

fan74: they’re actually so cute omg

landonorris

liked by:y/Instagram and 1,031,495

landonorris: it’s true, swear, scouts honor . Also me n her if we were in gta🤭

Comments

Maxfewtrell:WAIT I JUST GOT THE SCOUTS HONOR LYRIC… GROSS

→ landonorris: sorry💁

→ y/ninstagram: sorry💁‍♀️

martingarrix: I will never be able to look either of y'all in the eye

→ y/ninstagram: sorry💁‍♀️

→ landonorris: sorry💁

Y/Instagram: i told you to make it sweet…

→landonorris: this IS sweet…like you😛

→y/Instagram: blocked and reported

fan57: 3RD SLIDE IS SO MOMMY🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

Mclaren: hey can we maybe not

fan10: y/n plz I could treat you so much better

→landonorris: did you not listen to the song?

carlossainz: landos not so little anymore🥲

→y/Instagram: definitely not little

oscarpiastri: guys please tell them to stop making out in front of me I. AM. TIRED

Y/Instagram

liked by landonorris and 2,275,286 others

y/ninstagram: ESPRESSO SONG AND MUSIC VIDEO OUT NOW!

veiw all comments

landonorris: you mountain dew it for me😻😻😻

landonorris: first

landonorris: most beautiful amazing gorgeous person on this earth🤭🤭

→y/ninstagram: 🤭🤭🤭 cmere🤭🤭🤭

→ landonorris: yes ma’am🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️

fan45: not Lando being a simp on main

→landonorris: AND I WILL DO IT AGAIN

fan76: why does vroom vroom guy keep getting songs😔

→y/ninstagram: the d is fireeeeee

☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎☺︎

a/n2: sorry this took so long and was so short, collage is not for the weak and I've had tests all week

[heartpascal]

you’ll find the key

▹ — joel miller x platonic!f!reader

▹ — summary: part five of if the door wasn’t shut — after feeling hopeless, you decide it’s time to heal

▹ — a/n: guys, i apologise for the wait! usually it doesn’t take me so long to write but this was a bit of a struggle!! i hope it lives up to any expectations :( i love you guys sm <3 pls leave ur thoughts + feedback and if u would like to see anything else in this series !!!

▹ — warnings: bad mental health, arguments, like two much needed hugs, so many apologies (my brain is failing so please tell me if there’s anything i’m missing!!!)

▹ — general taglist: @auggiesolovey @just-kaylaa @evyiione @lemonlaides @fariylixie0915 @erensloveinterest @dazedshoon @faceache111 @randomhoex @canpillowscry @sleepygraves @pedropascalsrealgf @star-wars-lover @coolchick333 @soobsdior @ilybbg @rvjaa @oliest19xx @pedropepsi @sunflowersdrop @truthfuleeyours

masterlist

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR

check out howl’s song associations!

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

It was still storming outside.

Snow was coming down in heavy bouts, swirling all over the place with the force of the wind, and it was almost a goddamn blizzard. The ground was covered in it, and if it weren’t for the people already out in the streets, using shovels to dig away the snow in front of doorways, you were sure everyone would’ve gotten snowed in.

Not that you were going anywhere, anyway.

You hadn’t left Jesse’s side since you had gotten back to Jackson, after Tommy had a talk with you. They told you he was going to be absolutely fine, that all he needed was rest and to keep the wound clean. You still worried about him.

Part of you, despite knowing that what happened wasn’t your fault, still felt guilty. Out of the two of you, you were the more experienced one, and you should’ve known better, right? Should’ve caught wind that something wasn’t quite right sooner? You should’ve done something, protected him better, maybe?

You didn’t know exactly what you could’ve done differently, and you tried not to think of the possibilities, because the last thing you needed was to drown in guilt when you already felt bad enough.

Tommy’s chat with you hadn’t helped, either, and you know it was only because he cares, but it still hurt. The way he had looked at you, so angry, and scolded you for going back out there, for going after Joel when you and Jesse had barely made it out yourselves. He had called you irresponsible, which you would’ve argued against, if you hadn’t felt so guilty over the events of the day, if you hadn’t been worrying about Jesse.

You didn’t want to think about him being right, about how you could’ve gotten Jesse killed today, or yourself, god — Joel could’ve died, trying to save you. But was that really your fault? You wondered if everyone blamed you for Jesse getting hurt, as much as you blamed yourself.

“Are you really brooding, right now?” Jesse croaked, startling you from where you stood at the window beside his bed, staring out at the swirling snow. You turned to him, seeing his raised eyebrows, and felt almost thankful about the annoyance that arose when he looked smug, like he was right. “Unbelievable!”

“I’m not brooding, you asshole.” You murmured, unconvincingly. Jesse grinned, shaking his head at your denial.

“Oh, you so are.”

“I should’ve let them finish the job.” You responded flatly, breaking into a smile when Jesse laughed. The quiet lingered for a moment, both of your smiles slowly falling as the weight of everything that happened registered between you. “I’m sorry.”

Jesse’s eyebrows furrowed as he looked at you, his fingers picking at the edge of the blanket settled over him. “For what? Saving my life?”

“No, Jesse, I should’ve never put us in that situation. Especially after Pete left. I know better.” You replied, stepping towards the guy who had quickly become your best friend. You shook your head, eyes flickering around the room, until they settled on him. “Tommy took me off patrols, anyway, so.”

“What?” Jesse questioned, mouth hanging open. “Why?”

You stared at him, blinking in your confusion, and you tilted his head back to check his eyes were focused, that he wasn’t concussed, or something.

“Do you not remember what happened?”

“I remember just fine, thank you.” He responded, eyebrows creased as your hand left his forehead. Both of you wore incredibly confused expressions, neither knowing what the miscommunication between you could be. “Why would Tommy take you off patrols?”

“Jesse, you could’ve died.” You said, watching his face for the reaction, as if the information was new to him.

“Yeah, but that wasn’t your fault! You’re the one who saved me, who got me out. I don’t understand.” Jesse said, voice raising as he got slightly heated. He lowered his voice when he sat up, and pulled at his stitches, hissing in pain.

“No, I got us into it, and I was lucky to get us out.” You told him, as if it was a confession, and you frowned. You didn’t want to think about what could have happened to Joel, didn’t want to say that for once, the world had been on your side, letting you get him out, too. You didn’t voice it, but you don’t know what you would’ve done with yourself if he had died, trying to save you.

Jesse shifted, voicing your name, but you stopped him, smiling tightly in his direction. “It’s fine, Jesse. It’s for the better. Besides, means I’ve got more time to do my pottering.” You teased, though the words didn’t quite reach the way your teasing usually sounded. “Anyway, Dina showed up.”

“What? Why? Did she actually?” Jesse asked, his eyebrows raised as he looked to you with suspicion, like you were about to be making fun of him.

“‘Course she did. Whole town knows what happened, and she was worried about you.” You said with a grin that didn’t meet your eyes.

“The whole town?” He questioned, shutting his eyes and dropping his head back with a groan when you nodded your confirmation. “My family are so going to kill me, aren’t they?”

With a laugh, you reached forward to mess up his hair, “Oh, Jesse, you sweet thing. We’ve already devised a plan on how we’re going to do it.”

He slapped your hand away, glaring, but a smile pulled at his lips. He knew it wasn’t true, knew you were just entertaining his dramatics. What he didn’t know, was that his family had already been in, had already scolded you for getting their golden boy into trouble.

You moved back to the window, seeing a man across the road had given up on shovelling the heavy snow away from his door. Something heavy had settled on your chest, and you took a deep breath to try and get some oxygen past it. You didn’t blame Jesse’s family for what they had said to you — if you had been in their position, you probably would’ve been the same. They hadn’t quite approved of you, anyway, so you didn’t take it too personally. You were more than aware of everything you had done wrong.

Somebody cleared their throat in the doorway to the room, and you turned away from the window to see Joel stood there. He nodded his greeting to Jesse, a tight smile on his face.

“C’mon, kiddo, Tommy wants you to head back to the shop.” Joel said, repressing the sigh that wanted to leave his chest when you only nodded, stepping away from the window with a final glance outside.

“Well,” You said to Jesse, trying to muster up your best smile, “Duty calls, I guess. Feel better soon, okay?”

He called your name when you walked away, passing Joel as he stood beside the door, but you ignored it, feeling that weight grow heavier. Joel followed after you, a frown on his face.

You knew the route out already, and figured Joel was just the messenger, but he followed along, a few steps behind you as he limped on his injured leg. The wind was harsh when you opened the door, and you shivered when snow was immediately blown in your face. You lingered in the doorway, both hesitant to go out into the awful conditions, and feeling bad for leaving Joel hurrying on his bad leg.

Joel didn’t say it, but you knew he was here because Tommy didn’t want to see you. You couldn’t say you were surprised — not after just how angry Tommy had gotten. His face had been red, the steam pouring from his ears practically melting the snow around him, and it was the first time he had ever yelled at you.

“You doing okay?” Joel asked, hesitantly, as he paused in the doorway beside you, watching you as you wrapped your coat tighter around you. He knew that nothing was fixed, not even close, but there was something.

“I’m fine, Joel.” You replied, and he could hear the exhaustion in your voice, the way it pulled on your words. It was easier to hear than it was to see, but he just caught the slump to your shoulders, the way you held your eyes shut for a moment, before going to brave the snow.

He walked beside you as you headed towards the ceramics shop, your pace a touch slower than usual. You shoved your hands in your pockets, eyebrows creasing when you realised you must’ve taken your gloves off at some point. You tried not to sigh when you realised that they were probably lost, and just decided to chalk it up to another disappointment in an incredibly frustrating day.

When you arrived at the ceramics shop, it was a mission to get through all the snow that had started blocking the door. You would probably be snowed in, by nightfall. Joel helped you get rid of as much of it as possible, his gloved hands doing most of the work after your bare ones become too numb to continue.

You opened the door, feeling heavier than you had in months, and left the door open as you moved to the back of the shop, turning on the heater that sat there. You let your hands linger in front of it, just gritting your teeth at the sting that followed from warming them too quickly.

Joel lingered in the doorway, frowning at you, and furrowed his eyebrows as he called your name, watching your turn to face him. “I’m sorry.”

You gaped at him, stunned.

“You should have gotten a choice. It wasn’t my place to decide that for you, or to leave without havin’ a conversation.” He continued on, his words jumbling the slightest bit. “I still think you stayin’ was the best thing for you, the safest thing, but for whatever it might be worth, I am sorry.”

When your silence lingered, Joel nodded tersely, and stepped away, smiling tightly as he left the shop, shutting the door behind him. You blinked at the closed door, unsure what to do, unsure if you should have said something. But even if you should’ve, what would you have said?

It wasn’t okay, not in the slightest, and everything around you seemed to be crumbling. Tommy wasn’t speaking to you and Maria would be more than upset with you, too. Jesse was in the infirmary, and that was on you. And even as you looked around the ceramics shop, all you saw was cracked paint on the walls, and dust that settled no matter how many times you wiped it away.

Hell, even the misshapen plates and bowls on the shelves just made your chest hurt. You didn’t feel any sort of pride for this place, anymore, and it was painful. It stung at the deepest parts of you, and you just settled down on the dirty floor in front of the heater, holding your head in your hands as you blinked back tears.

Why did you think you could do this?

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Initially, you didn’t intend on avoiding Jesse.

In fact, you had plans to go and visit him the day after everything went to shit. It was just that when you opened the shop door, the outside looked far too unfriendly, and you knew his family would be in his infirmary room.

Perhaps it was a cowardly move, staying at the shop, locking the door and pretending the outside world of Jackson didn’t exist. Really, you were going to go and see him the next day. Swore to yourself that you would. But when the next day came, you didn’t even attempt to unlock the door to leave, figuring that it would be best to just leave him and his family to it. Dina was probably with him, too, so your absence wouldn’t be felt all too much.

Each day you said you would go, started with you justifying your staying in the shop. It went the same way, waking up and thinking you should go and see him, but the moment you got into the front of the shop, you thought better of it.

You blamed it on everything but what it actually was. Whether that be the snow, the heater in the shop that broke, the concept of him having quality time with his family… you used it all to reassure yourself that he didn’t need you by his side.

Besides, you knew he wouldn’t be in the infirmary for long. And by the fifth day, there was a knock against the shop door, barely heard over the howling wind outside. You remained in the back room, telling yourself it was probably nothing important, and after the heater broke, you couldn’t afford to open the door, anyway.

Even with the door closed, your breath misted in front of your face, and you had to rub your hands together more than once to generate heat, especially considering you seemed to have misplaced your gloves.

On day six, you kept all the lights off, and didn’t bother to poke your head around the doorframe to see who was knocking at the front door. After a few moments of loud knocking, his voice called out your name, and you were sure he was likely squinting through the shop window, trying to catch sight of you.

You barely even noticed the way you held your breath so it wouldn’t cloud the air, and alert him to your presence. You pretended the harsh exhale after he left was just a sigh of exhaustion. In some ways, you guessed it was.

By day seven, he knew what you were doing.

“Open the door,” Jesse yelled, still knocking wildly against the wood, and you were sure he was peeking in the window, too. “I’ve been to Tommy’s, the dinner hall, the greenhouses, the stables, hell — I even went to Joel’s. I know you’re here, stop hiding.”

You stayed in the back room.

After a while — much longer than you expected, especially given the still-awful weather — Jesse gave up, leaving the door at last. You frowned at the empty can of food in front of you, chest aching from the cold and everything that had happened over the past few days.

You hadn’t left the shop in the past seven days, surviving off of the short supply of long-life food in the cupboards. But that was your last can of it. As much as you knew you would have to leave, have to go get some more food in order to survive, you still didn’t want to. You didn’t want to see anyone, didn’t want them to see the shame that was so visible in the curve of your frown, the dip of your brows.

It made it easier to hide, knowing Jesse was the only person looking for you. There had been no sign of Tommy or Maria, which pained you, but didn’t surprise you. Part of you wondered if they’d ever speak to you again, but you didn’t want to linger on the question, too afraid of the answer.

It was day eight that you had no other choice — the temperatures were dropping even further, and with no heater it was becoming too cold for you to take. The need for heat and food led you to the dinner hall, which was surprisingly empty, and you settled at your usual table with a plate of cooked food, feeling the chill that had begun to settle in your bones fade.

Most people would be staying inside their homes, the cold too much to bear, so you were surprised when Ellie waltzed into the hall, eyes scanning the room as she made her way over to grab herself some food. You dipped your head when she began looking in your direction, and clutched at the fork in your hand, holding your breath.

“So you are alive.” Ellie drawled, settling down in the seat opposite you with her plate in front of her. “You know your friend has been coming ‘round for the past few days, won’t leave us alone.”

You shrugged, not knowing how to respond.

She sighed, poking at the food on her plate. “Thanks for going back for Joel, by the way.” She pretended not to see the way your head snapped up, eyebrows furrowed as you looked at her.

“I wouldn’t leave him to die out there,” You said, after a moment, the words hesitant as they left you. “Especially when he went to try and help me.”

Ellie nodded, shoving food into her mouth, and you quickly followed her action. The silence between the two of you stretched uncomfortably, and you hated how everything had changed. Why couldn’t they have just let you come with them? Why did they have to push you so far away?

“He’s a good guy,” Ellie said, a frown on her face. “He makes stupid decisions, but only because he cares about us.”

You looked at her, wondering when the two of you had grown up. You remember the jokes you had shared during your travels, the way she had been able to make you smile even when doing so seemed impossible. She had made life in the apocalypse almost bearable, and now here you were, sat at the same table, but miles apart.

“Maybe, but you were right about one thing. I don’t know what happened, so if you ever want to talk about it, I’ll listen.” You told her, instead of acknowledging her words about Joel. You didn’t want to think about him. You didn’t want to think about any of it.

It would be painful, you were sure, to hear about everything they had experienced. You could guess that a lot of it wouldn’t be pleasant, and it would likely hurt to hear about all the things you had missed out on, all the things that maybe you could’ve protected them from. But you were willing. It wasn’t forgiveness, it wasn’t a ticket back to being in each other’s lives, but it was progress.

And progress was all that you could offer, so it would have to do.

“I’ll, uh, keep that in mind.” Ellie said, a tight smile on her face as she looked at you, her eyebrows slightly raised in surprise at your words.

You nodded, and the two of you ate in silence.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

After stocking up on some more long-lasting cans of food, you were prepared to hunker down in the shop for a while longer. You hadn’t been able to trade for another blanket like you had hoped, but you weren’t all too surprised. With the stormy weather, everybody wanted more warming supplies.

You had survived worse conditions, though, in worse places. One harsh winter in Jackson wouldn’t kill you, even if your heater was broken, and you still hadn’t found your gloves.

The shop door was locked once again, and you had taped the bottom of it to try and stop the cold draft from seeping into the room. You considered bunkering down in the back room, taping the door shut and staying in there with all the blankets and layers you had, but you thought better of it. You wanted to be able to hear the front door with ease, still on edge after the ambush with Jesse, especially considering the raiding attacks that had slowly begun to ease off.

Despite whatever had gone wrong, however angry Tommy may be, you knew he’d rely on you if the time came. You were sure of it. Everything the two of you had built couldn’t have been toppled by this one event, right?

Your gun was still laid by the shop door, and your ammo never left the jacket you always wore. Just in case. If anything were to go wrong, you wanted to be ready.

The call of your name shook you from your racing thoughts, the contemplation of everything that could happen pausing as your head snapped up. Maria’s voice was loud, and she hadn’t knocked. You didn’t have a surname — didn’t know whoever came before you long enough for them to tell you, didn’t know everyone who came after long enough for them to share their own. So she settled on your first name, yelling it loudly.

“Open the door!” Maria demanded once again, kicking the bottom of it with her foot. “Come on, open it. You’re not fooling anybody, and it’s freezing out here, little Troy can’t stay out here too long.”

With a sigh, you stood. She knew how to get to you — bringing baby Miller was a harsh plan, especially because it gave you no choice but to let her in. Not that it was much warmer in the shop than it was outside, but she didn’t know that.

You unlocked the door, pulling it open just to fit yourself into the crack of it. Facing Maria was terrifying, because you didn’t know what to expect. Even as she held on to baby Troy Miller, who was bundled up in more layers than you could count, she was totally unpredictable. She could be in a motherly mood, or that merciless Jackson council member.

“Hi,” You said, nervously. “What’re you doing here?”

She raised her eyebrows, stepping forward until you’d opened the door for her to step inside of the shop. Maria’s stern expression immediately fell, and you could feel nerves building in your stomach.

“Is your heating out?” She asked, turning on you suddenly, harshly. When you nodded meekly, she handed Troy over to you, not faltering even when you opened your mouth to voice your confusion.

He babbled at you, a toothy grin on his face, and you held on to him tighter. It hit you then, how much you actually cared about these people. Your brain short-circuited when you thought about something bad happening to this family, and it made you feel sick. Suddenly, you were regretting the meal you had eaten with Ellie.

“Well, I think Jeremy should be able to fix it up.” Maria sighed, standing from where she had crouched down to inspect your broken heater. “But he’s way busy with other heater issues. Come on, you’ll stay with us.”

“Maria.” You urged, repeating her name another time when she didn’t answer you, too busy thinking about options and solutions, as always. “I’m fine. Go home.”

She sighed heavily, turning to you with that stern look she’d been wearing since the moment you were left behind in Jackson. “I know you and Tommy are going through a rough time, but he loves you, and if he knew you’d been living here with no heat?” Maria shook her head with scoffed laughter, not reaching for Troy even as you offered to hand him back, instead moving to pack some of your clothes into a bag. “Come on, let’s go home.”

“It’s not my home, Maria,” You said softly, perhaps the softest she had ever heard you.

It was disquieting, at the least, for you to behave in such a way. Throughout the whole time Maria had known you, you had been sharp edges and bitten words, even when you had grown to care for them, that hadn’t changed all that much. It was a constant, your stubborn attitude and harsh nature, always slamming doors shut too hard, always charring food when you were unsupervised, because you’d turn the heat up too high. You were impatient, practical, realistic. You weren’t soft.

Maria’s face curved into a frown, and she stopped her presumptive actions in packing up some of your things. She looked at you, looked at the lines that were beginning to dig into your expression, looked at the way your shoulders slumped as you held on to her son.

“Maybe not,” Maria offered, and looked around at the shop that was not as pristine as the last time she had seen it, before looking back to you. “It could be, though.”

You shook your head, sighing but not finding any relief from the action, only feeling the same tightness to your chest. “I’m not a Miller.” You said, and it was true, because the space behind your name remained as empty as ever, that absence something you had felt your whole life.

“You’re as much a Miller as I am, as he is.” Maria reasoned, gesturing towards her son in your arms as she looked at you. She didn’t want to say too much, didn’t want to overwhelm you, but you had practically been adopted by the two Miller brothers. Two men who were so far from perfect, who made so many mistakes that they almost lost you, who cared too much. Hell, even if you weren’t consciously aware of it, you had adopted their mannerisms and tendencies.

It showed in the way you held Troy, the same stance that Tommy used. It showed in the frown on your lips, that looked far too much like Joel’s to be a coincidence. The furrow between your brows reflected Joel and Tommy’s own, a crevice built from worrying and frustration and anger. You reminded Maria too much of how Tommy had been when they first found him — eyes glassy, lost, and without purpose.

She had seen the change in you since you had been left in Jackson, so many ups and downs, but you had been doing better. And now, here you were, looking more lost than you ever had.

“That’s not true, Maria.” You replied, tense. It wasn’t true — Troy was a Miller by blood, and Maria was a Miller by marriage. Both choices that Tommy had made. It wasn’t the same for you, it couldn’t be. Tommy had never chosen you — Joel had dropped you in his lap before running away, and didn’t that make you the furthest thing from a Miller?

“It is true.” Maria refuted, stepping forward to hold a hand firmly against your face. “You’re a Miller, no doubt about it. Now come on, we’d better get going. Got a lot to talk about.”

She was finishing shoving your things inside of the backpack at her feet in a few moments, and was swinging it over her shoulder before you could protest, making her way out of the door. Holding her son, what choice did you have but to follow?

The two of you were silent on your journey to Rancher Street, and you felt the nerves bubbling up from your stomach, leaving an unpleasant tingling in the back of your throat. It was tense, though that could have been all from you. You were still holding Troy, having him half buried in your jacket to make sure he wouldn’t be cold, despite the fact your jacket wasn’t the warmest.

When you arrived to her house, Tommy wasn’t there. She didn’t say anything, so you didn’t mention it, much preferring to ignore the issues that would likely arrive whenever he returned. Instead, you settled Troy down, removing some of his layers at the rush of warm air that came the moment you stepped through the door.

Your hands were tingling, in a strange state between feeling and numb after the sudden temperature change. You settled them under your legs when you sat down on the couch, Troy at your side as Maria clambered about the kitchen, having already dropped your bag down beside the sofa.

When she came back, it was with a steaming mug that you recognised — one of your very own design. It was a dark green, close to black, and had your poor recreation of a bear on it. You remembered thinking it was going to come out brown, remembered the shock when it was green.

She handed it over, and you used the hand with slightly more feeling to take it from her, holding it close to your chin to allow the steam to flow over your features, warming your nose. “So,” Maria said, drawing your attention from where you’d been keeping an eye on Troy, keeping the hot mug away from him. “First, you and Tommy fight, and then you ignore your best friend?”

You stared at her, teeth clenched in shock, and recalled the way Ellie had mentioned the boy. Clearly, he was pestering everybody who knew you. Maria’s eyebrows raised, looking expectantly at you.

“‘M not ignoring anybody.” You murmured, voice catching in your throat as you spoke, and you took a sip of boiling hot tea to get rid of the lump that had formed. The burn soothed you, in a strange way, warming your insides the slightest bit as you breathed steam.

“Mhm, is that why he’s been ‘round here, bugging us ever since he got out of the damn infirmary?” Maria asked, expression tightening slightly as you winced, and knew she had got you.

You shook your head, moving your other hand from underneath your leg to cradle the mug in both palms, breathing a relieved breath at the warmth finally reaching your fingers. “Doesn’t know how to stop, does he?” You said, moving your eyes to the swirling drink in the mug, not looking up even as Maria hummed. “I’ll tell him to leave you be.”

“Ah, but that would require talking to him, which you clearly haven’t been doing.” She told you, a slight teasing lilt to her voice, to make it seem less serious than it truly was.

Maria remembered the night you and Tommy had arrived home, with you shoving at his shoulder whilst he laughed loudly, a bright teasing smile on his expression. It was probably the lightest she had ever seen the two of you, with Tommy not feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders for just a moment, and you smiling like you hadn’t faced unspeakable things. She remembered the way you had scrambled to correct Tommy’s statements, whacking a hand against his forearm when he interrupted you.

She remembered Troy waking up from where she hadn’t long settled him down, and remembered the way you had immediately gone to calm him down after hissing a “Look what you’ve done now!” at Tommy, who had only laughed.

Maria remembered the way her head had settled against her husband’s shoulder, exhausted to her very bones, motherhood feeling much harder than she remembered. Especially with her aged bones, keeping up with a baby was more difficult than she remembered. She didn’t want to think about what it would be like when he could actually run around. Maria had just been grateful to have you there, to be able to rest with Tommy, trusting you to look after her son.

You challenged her motherly instincts, sure, but Troy was on another level — it was a lot more to deal with when your child wasn’t basically self-sufficient.

“I’m going to,” You said, though there was doubt in your voice. “I am.” You repeated, as if that would solidify your statement, as if it would make it any more truthful.

“Listen,” Maria sighed, saying your name, and waiting for you to look up from your mug before she continued. “I know what happened on that patrol. I know. And it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault, so why are you ignoring Jesse?”

You swallowed, scratching a fingernail over a small crumb of clay that hadn’t gotten smoothed down before being fired. “I just… I care about him, and he could’ve died, Maria. Tommy was right, I—I was irresponsible, and I could’ve gotten us both killed.”

Maria shook her head immediately, picking Troy up when he began to fuss, and she stopped you. “No, Tommy was speaking from a place of anger. Of fear. You did everything right.” She affirmed, staring intensely at you, as if daring you to argue against her. “Except, maybe, going after Joel, but I know why you did that. I get it. If I had been in your position, if it were my…— I would’ve done the same thing.”

“I just didn’t want him to die, because of me.” You said, voice quiet again, and Maria’s heart ached for you, something squeezing so tightly in her chest that it physically hurt. “I don’t want Tommy to hate me forever, either.” You added after a few quiet moments, eyes following a bubble around the edge of the mug.

“He doesn’t hate you, kid, not at all. He was scared, he didn’t want to lose you.” Maria reasoned, but you still didn’t feel better, not after just how angry he had gotten. Not after he had practically shoved you out of his sight, the moment he was done yelling, unable to even look at you. Not after he had sent Joel as a messenger, refusing to speak to you himself.

“Maybe,” You offered, because it was the best you could do. You couldn’t agree with her, couldn’t disagree, either. The only person who would actually be able to decide those things was Tommy — and he was nowhere to be found. “I’ll talk to Jesse.” You decided to say, in the end, hands gripping tighter on the mug. Just saying it aloud made it seem all the more real, and you regretted it a moment afterwards, thoughts stuck on what Jesse would say, what his family would say.

“Good.” Maria said, nodding at you, “He’s a good kid, he deserves to know his friend is still here.” She stood to her feet, heading to the kitchen with Troy in her arms, waiting for her to feed him.

Twenty minutes later, when Maria had gone upstairs to put Troy down for a nap, the front door banged open, a rush of cold air being let in.

“Maria!” Tommy yelled out, his voice panicked, and you could hear him shuffling through his bag in the still-open doorway. With furrowed brows, you placed the cold mug down on the floor beside the sofa, standing up and making your way to peek into the hallway. “Maria, you here?” He shouted again, more desperate this time, and when you finally saw him, you saw that he had snow still clinging to him, and he had brought clumps of it in on his boots, slowly melting puddles on their floor.

“Tommy?” You questioned quietly, both not wanting to speak to him, but also getting increasingly concerned by his behaviour. His head snapped up to you, and he blinked in surprise, his shoulders slumping and hands pausing in their rummaging.

“Oh, thank god.” Tommy said, approaching you quickly and wrapping his arms around you tightly before you could get a word in. You blinked, shocked, and slowly wrapped your own arms around the man, who just held your head closer to him in return. “You scared the shit outta me.” He admitted, a slight tremor to his voice. He breathed out a heavy sigh, arms squeezing, and you wanted to look at him to express your confusion.

“Is everything okay?” Maria asked, a slight panic to her own voice, but she relaxed at the image before her. Tommy’s eyes opened as he rested his head on your own, and he looked to his wife as he nodded gently.

He moved away from you slightly, hands moving to hold your shoulders tightly, finally able to see your confused face. He sighed, his shoulders dropping like they had been holding the weight of the world. “I went to the shop, wanted to apologise. Couldn’t find you or your things, and it was freezing.” Tommy told you, his head dropping until his chin rested against his chest for a moment. “Thought you left.”

His arms pulled you back to his chest, and you didn’t resist him, though your heart was racing in your chest, blood rushing in your ears.

Maria frowned, “I didn’t know you were going. The heater’s broken, so I told her to stay with us.”

Tommy nodded again, his breath held in his chest as he let his heart rate calm down. You let him hold on to you until he was ready to let go, just keeping your face hidden in his shoulder as your arms wrapped loosely around him, fingers numb from the cold once again.

When he finally released you, you took a small step back, cheeks warm with remaining shame from your last conversation with the man. The rest of you, however, was freezing, especially since you had removed your multitude of layers in the warm house. Tommy frowned as you shivered, cursing under his breath as he turned to shut his front door, his frown deepening when he saw the water covering the hallway in front of the door.

He waved Maria away when she gave him a stern look, and she nodded once she saw his expression, smiling tightly at you before heading back upstairs to settle Troy back down, after he had been fussing from his father’s shouting.

Tommy turned to where you stood, hands wrung together to try and generate some more warmth between your digits. He sighed again, a seemingly very common thing for him at the moment, and he stood up straighter to talk to you.

“I’m sorry,” He told you, his voice reflecting his words in its apologetic tone. “I should never have spoken to you the way I did. Wasn’t fair of me to blame you for things that weren’t your fault. Or for me to judge you for doin’ exactly what I would’ve. What I should’ve.”

You stared at him, at the way his hands clenched and unclenched into fists at his sides, a slightly nervous habit, you had noticed.

“Tommy, you were right,” You responded, continuing on even as he shook his head, “I messed up, and I could’ve gotten Jesse, or Joel, or even myself killed.”

“No.” He said firmly, reaching out and holding onto your shoulders once again, his grip tight as if you might slip away. “I was wrong. You hear me? I should have been proud, proud that you were so brave, that you saved your friend and your— and Joel. I should have been proud that you made your way back, that you did it without some old shithead tellin’ you what to do.” He rambled on, shutting his eyes and looking almost regretful.

You ducked your head, feeling far too emotional, a lump formed in your throat at his words. Just somebody who you looked up to, who you trusted, telling you that you hadn’t done anything wrong… it was almost too much.

As many mixed feelings as you may have had over the whole situation, the most prevalent one was guilt. It had been surrounding you, weighing so heavily on you, hell, you didn’t even realise how much it had been pulling you down until Tommy came in, lifting it all off of your shoulders.

“You did good, kid.” He told you, squeezing your shoulders, and you hated the way your lip started trembling.

“Stop, you’re gonna make me cry.”

Tommy laughed, the sound watery and almost broken off, “You can cry as much as you want.” He pulled you in, feeling your arms squeeze around his middle as he held on to you so tightly, he was almost sure he’d never let go again.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Your closed fist was raised up to the door, a hair’s width away from making contact with it, but you had frozen. And it wasn’t because of the cold.

There was something that had settled heavily in your stomach, making your whole body feel heavy and slow. You felt, distantly, like you might throw up with the way it was sitting, but tried not to think on it too much. You were aware of the way your chest was rising and falling, almost too aware, and you tried to put it out of your mind as you attempted to steel yourself.

“You gonna knock, or are you just gonna keep standing there, looking stupid?” A voice asked from behind you, making you spin on your heels, fist pulled away from the door. You held a hand against your chest, breathing a heavy sigh as you saw the culprit of the scare.

“You’re an asshole.” You murmured, eyes studying your beaten up boots that were covered in melting snow. You looked up to him, and felt some relief when you saw Jesse crack a slight smile at your reaction. It faded far too quickly for your liking.

“So?” He prompted, eyebrows raising at you.

You frowned, repressing the urge to grumble at him, but you knew that he should’ve been the one angry at you. Hell, he probably was. “I just came to say… I’m sorry.”

“For…?”

“Are you kidding?” You asked, annoyed. But when his expression didn’t budge, you sighed through your nose. “Okay. I’m sorry for ignoring you after the infirmary, and I’m sorry you got put into the infirmary at all.” You said, looking back down the where the melting snow was seeping into the hole at the side of your boots. You should probably get new ones.

Jesse didn’t say anything for a moment, and you picked at your fingernails while you stared at the ground, your nerves sending your pulse into a fluttery mess.

Finally, you heard him snickering, and your head snapped up. “Well, I just can’t believe this. You, apologising?” You glared as his smile slowly grew, though you knew that the whole thing wasn’t quite solved, at least it was good to know that Jesse was still acting his usual asshole self with you. “Come on, you little asshole.” He said, gesturing for you to follow him. You did.

He glanced at you every so often, shaking his head at your stoic expression.

The two of you arrived at the dining hall soon enough, standing in the queues silently whilst waiting to collect food, until Jesse nudged you and led you over to the table you so often shared.

“You do realise I would never blame you for something that happened on patrol, right?” He asked, eyebrow raised as he awaited your response, shovelling food into his mouth as if he was starving. He reminded you an awful lot of Ellie, in that way. You wondered if they had met.

With a roll of your eyes, “Well, now, yeah. Do we have to talk about this? I said sorry, didn’t I?” You murmured the last part, shovelling your own food into your mouth, refraining from rolling your eyes again when Jesse snickered at you.

“How could I forget? You prefer to brood rather than talk about your feelings.” He responded.

“Okay, I don’t brood—”

“Yes, you do—”

“And do you enjoy talking about… feelings?” You said, ignoring his interruption. He stared at your raised eyebrows, the expectant look on your face.

“Sometimes, I do.”

“Maybe when it comes to—”

“Dina!” Jesse said in a high pitched tone, cutting you off and looking at you with widened eyes. You looked behind you, seeing the girl of the hour approaching your table, an amused look in her eye. She nudged you with a grin as she walked past, sitting on your left and smiling widely at Jesse’s surprised expression.

After settling down, she looked back up to meet Jesse’s eyes. “What? Cat got your tongue?”

You snorted out a laugh, not expecting to hear such an old expression coming from her — it sounded like something Joel might say. Jesse glared at you, unamused by the grin you and Dina shared.

“Yeah, Jesse.” You goaded, smiling at his indignant huff. “Not want to talk about feelings, anymore?” You asked. You leaned backwards as he swiped his arm out, trying to knock the cutlery from your hand as it was heading towards your mouth. Dina laughed at his failed attempt.

“So you two are talking again, then?” Dina said when her laughing faded, and you glared at the way Jesse grinned, unhappy with the fact he was telling her such things. You supposed that you couldn’t blame him — after all, you had spoken to Maria about it. It just so happened that Jesse was your only friend your actual age.

“Unfortunately.” You grumbled, eyes narrowed at the man.

“Unfortunately,” Jesse mocked, making a face at you. “Somebody finally came to their senses!” He said, after he was done poking at his food as he frowned at you.

“Somebody is having regrets about it.” You responded in turn, smiling sarcastically at him.

“Back to normal, then.” Dina concluded, smiling when the two of you nodded. She didn’t know you all too well, but from the time she had spent with you in Jesse’s infirmary room, she was a fan. You clearly cared about Jesse, way more than you would admit, and she could admire that.

You looked at Jesse, “Back to normal.” He echoed, smiling at you.

You pretended that the sigh you let out wasn’t one of relief.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

“You should really clean this place up, you know.” Jesse commented as you unlocked the door to the pottery shop, his eyes scanning around the room, the chill to the air making him shove his hands in his pockets. He looked at the dust covering the surfaces you usually cut clay on and raised his eyebrows.

“Well, I’ve been a bit busy.” You replied, moving to the newly fixed heater that Tommy had brought over when he walked you back to the shop that very morning.

“Oh, yeah, avoiding me.” Jesse said, grinning mischievously when you shot him an annoyed look over your shoulder, focusing on turning the heater on, placing your freezing hands in front of it when it finally started shooting out some warmth. You sighed at the sting, just glad to feel your hands once again.

You sat down on a dusty stool, turning to Jesse when he sat down beside you, relishing in the heater that was finally working. “Okay, so maybe I’m not the best with… feelings.”

“No kidding,” Jesse snorted, his smile fading when you stared at him, deadpan. “Sorry, go on.”

“But I can say that I do care about you. Sometimes. When you don’t piss me off.” You told him, drawing in a shaky breath that filled your lungs with cold air. “I just… relationships are complicated, you know? And painful, a lot of the time. I didn’t wanna go through that again, I guess, but you’re persistent.”

Jesse smiled as you spoke, somewhat amused by your words, but even you could see the softness to it. The absence of that teasing edge his grin usually held. It was reassuring.

“If this is about Joel—” Jesse attempted, shutting his mouth when you cut him off.

“—It’s not about him.” You interrupted, quickly, the back of your neck feeling hot despite the heater being quite far from you. “Or maybe it is, I don’t know.” You added on, after thinking about it for a second. You generally tried not to think of Joel, or the whole situation with him and Ellie, but could it really have effected you that much? It’s not like Joel was the first person you had lost.

He was the first to walk away without a fight, though.

A small part of you fought that fact, because he came back. Did that not mean anything?

“Can I speak yet?” Jesse asked, a slight teasing lilt to his voice. It brought you out of your thoughts, and you smiled despite the topic at hand. With a nod from you, Jesse went on, “Thanks. I’m just saying, maybe Joel isn’t all that bad. I’m not defending what he did, but the guy clearly cares about you.”

“So I should just— just forgive him? For leaving me?” You asked, looking at Jesse as if he had all the answers.

“I don’t know, that’s up to you,” He said. “Maybe you don’t need to forgive him. Maybe it’s time to just… move on with your life. Forget about what he did, and focus on what he can do. You miss him, don’t you?”

You frowned, looking away from the intensity of Jesse’s gaze. The two of you were friends, yes, and he was the closest friend you’d ever had, maybe besides Ellie. But being so open, it was strange. Likely the effect of the apocalyptic world you lived in, and perhaps it was another difference between that world and the little safe haven of Jackson, Wyoming.

“‘Course I do. He and Tess… they were everything I had.” You replied, your eyebrows creasing at the thought of the woman, at the memory of your life in Boston QZ. It made you realise that it had been a while since Maria had cut your hair, and Tess would’ve chastised you for not reminding her to cut it if you had let it gotten this long in Boston.

It all felt so far away.

When you thought of Tess, your heart ached. Though, it wasn’t quite the same as it had been on your journey with Joel and Ellie. You felt her absence, maybe more than ever, but it wasn’t all bitter. You felt… appreciative of her. She may be gone, but at least you got to have her for a time.

You really wished that she could’ve seen this place, though. You often wondered if she would’ve liked pottery.

Joel would probably know.

“Tess may be gone, but Joel isn’t. Not anymore.” Jesse reminded you, hesitant in his words. You realised that you had never really told him, or anyone, about Tess.

“Y’know, if Tess were here, she’d probably tell me to get over myself,” You laughed at the thought, a sad, watery laugh, but Jesse smiled with you despite not knowing the woman. “She’d kick Joel’s ass, though.”

“Is that even possible? Joel’s like… badass, man.”

“Nobody was more badass than Tess. She was awesome. Used to boss Joel around, all the time, she ran half of the smuggling underground at Boston.” You smiled when Jesse raised his eyebrows, surprised. “And she used to cut my hair. Always told me it was better to keep my hair short, even though she had long hair.”

“Bit hypocritical, isn’t it?” Jesse asked, humour in his words.

You shrugged, “Think she was just trying to keep me safe, in her own way. Tess didn’t want to keep me, to start with. Joel convinced her.”

The more you thought about it, the more you realised that it really was because of Joel that you were allowed to stay with the two of them. You remember hearing them argue on a few occasions, something about a great family that Tess knew nearby. But Joel had never let you go too far.

He’d told you about Tess’s family, though it wasn’t really his place to do so. He had done it in an attempt to comfort you one night when you were young, after you had gotten upset at Tess disregarding you yet again. Joel had explained that she didn’t like getting attached to anybody, especially kids, after she lost her own child. He had told you that it was what they had bonded over, at the start.

“Sounds like this Joel guy really wanted you around, huh?” Jesse said teasingly, only grinning when you narrowed your eyes at him.

“Shut up, you asshole, when the hell did you get all wise?” You asked, glaring at him as he feigned an innocent look. You cracked first, smiling at his expression, feeling a softness to the grin as he matched it with one of his own.

“Distance makes the heart grow wiser, I guess.”

“It’s fonder, Jesse. It makes the heart grow fonder.”

“Shut up, I’m the wise one here.”

You looked at Jesse then, as the two of you shared a laugh, and you wondered if this is how friendship felt before the apocalypse, or if that warm feeling in your chest was exclusive to post-apocalyptic relationships.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

“Didn’t think you’d be coming back here.” Joel commented gruffly as he made his way to the kitchen with a nervous energy about him.

“Me neither,” You said idly, watching him fumble around the kitchen. You wondered if it was just a Miller thing, being terrible in the kitchen. It certainly seemed like something Joel and Tommy had in common, but you hadn’t really thought about it when Joel had asked if you wanted some tea, in a bit of a panic at your presence.

He didn’t say anything in response to that, seemingly mulling your words over. Joel didn’t really know what to make of your presence, certainly not expecting to see you at his front door when he opened it.

“Oh, wait,” You said suddenly, causing him to look over to you in the doorway from where he had been about to put tea in the two mugs in front of him. You pulled your backpack around on your shoulder, digging through it for a moment before pulling out a bag. Joel’s eyebrows furrowed as he looked between you and the bag, waiting for an explanation. “Look.” You said, handing it over to him.

He took the bag, opening it up and unable to help the grin that broke onto his face at the sight of coffee beans, the scent of them immediately soothing some of the man’s tension.

“Where’d you get these?” Joel asked you, his voice lighter than you had heard it since Boston. The sound of it made you grin, despite everything.

“Found ‘em on a patrol, a while ago. Been hiding them from Tommy, so don’t tell him.” You responded, realising that this was probably the lightest conversation you and Joel had held for a very long time. How long had it been?

“Wouldn’t dream of it. He’s a thief, always has been.” Joel said, smiling. “Right, the tea.” He said after a moment, placing the bag of coffee beans beside the mugs he’d set out.

You snickered as you noticed the mugs, grinning as Joel turned to you in question. “Seems like Tommy’s not the only thief in the family.” You said, gesturing toward the white and orange mug he’d placed down, recognising it from the batch you’d given Tommy and Maria.

Joel, at least, had the decency to look slightly embarrassed about stealing the orange coloured owl mug you had made and gifted to his brother. Either that, or embarrassed about getting caught. It had slipped his mind, really, more of a habit to grab it out of the cupboard, considering it was the one he used all the time.

He opened his mouth to try and craft some sort of defence, but felt any words he might’ve had die on his tongue as he turned to you. Seeing you smiling, well, it wasn’t exactly an unfamiliar sight. You often smiled at Tommy and Maria when he caught sight of you with the two of them, hell, you smiled a lot around that friend of yours, Jesse. Joel even remembers the times you would smile back in Boston, even though life in the QZ was much harder than life in Jackson.

But it had been a long time since Joel had seen you smile in his presence.

Each time you and Joel interacted after he had left you behind, your face had a way of falling, of crumpling in on itself before it hardened, staring at him with an expression of stone.

It had his heart aching in his chest, finally seeing you smile around him. He hadn’t realised quite how much he had missed it.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, after he stayed silent for a moment too long, the smile on your face fading into something of confusion. Joel shook himself out of his melancholy thoughts, clearing his throat and offering up his best smile in return.

“Nothin’,” Joel answered. “Nothin’ at all.”

You let his response linger in the air between the two of you for a few moments, and it seemed that the both of you were thinking of how life used to be. You were a long way from Boston.

“I could’ve made you your own, y’know.” You said, after a the silence stretched on, reaching out and picking up the mug he had stolen, looking at all the imperfections that had seemed invisible, all that time ago when you had made it. You’d like to believe you were much better in your craft, now.

“I like this one, just fine.” Joel responded, plucking it from your hands with a raised eyebrow. You snickered at his actions, moving to look around the kitchen, missing the soft grin stretched over the man’s face.

“God, you fixed that?” You asked suddenly, taking a wide step to look at the slight imperfection on the countertop, where you remember carving a deep gash in the material one night by shattering a particularly heavy plate upon the counter. You were almost sure it wasn’t fixable, that perhaps it could look better, but would always be extremely noticeable.

Joel nodded, back to his task of sorting out tea, but spoke when realising you were faced away from him. “Oh, yeah. Took me a couple tries, though.”

You hummed in response, going back to looking around the kitchen that you remembered so well. Most of the damage you had caused on the room had been fixed, which created a strange feeling in your chest, though you couldn’t tell quite what it was. Relief? Disappointment?

It wasn’t as hard to be in this house as you had expected it to be. You were awaiting that crushing feeling in your chest, that emptiness that left your ribs aching. Surprisingly, you felt… light, almost.

Joel didn’t know exactly what to expect.

On one hand, he wanted to feel hopeful, to belief that this would be the beginning of your relationship with him healing. But then on the other hand, he was reminded of just how much he had hurt you, of the tears that had spilled from your eyes when he had left you behind, the grit of your teeth when he had returned. He tried his best not to expect anything at all, to just remain… happy that you were here, in this moment.

Even if there were no other moments like this one.

He tried not to focus on how much that thought hurt.

“You and Ellie settled in, then?” You asked, trying to fill the silence in the room. There was also that part of you that wanted to know, that wanted to know everything.

Joel repressed the sigh that built in his chest. “Gettin’ there. She, uh, she’s had a tough time, but you know Ellie. She loves to be gettin’ into everybody’s business.” He refrained from looking in your direction when he asked you the same question. “You settled in alright here?” He wanted to add more on, but thought it best not to try his luck.

“I guess so.” You responded, thinking of how different your life was now, to how it was back in Boston, or even to how it was when you were on the road with Joel and Ellie. “It was… tough at first, but Tommy and Maria were good to me. And I got the shop, so.”

“And that boy?” Joel asked, trying to remain casual, though you heard the suspicion.

You smiled at his question, at the way he avoided looking at you. Back in Boston, when you had been much, much younger, Joel had tried to get the thought into your brain that boys were bad. He was protective of you, and distrustful towards the world. You couldn’t blame him.

“Jesse? He’s, uh, he’s my best friend.” You told the man, shaking your head at the way his shoulders relaxed the smallest bit. “He’s a good guy, you know. I care about him.”

As protective as Joel was, though he knew that he didnt really have any right to be, he couldn’t deny that it was nice that you had a friend your age. That you could count on someone, could trust someone, out of your immediate circle. He remembers that you had been lonely in the QZ, with only him and Tess for company, nobody your age that you could speak to or trust.

It had been a relief, almost, when you and Ellie had developed a friendship on the journey. Joel only hoped that the two of you could have that again.

“I’m happy for you, kiddo.” Joel responded, the nickname coming out almost like a reflex, like it was involuntary. It was what he had always called you, though, so you weren’t surprised.

“Jesse, uh— it was actually Jesse’s idea for me to come here.” You said, and Joel couldn’t deny the relief that spread through him when you didn’t immediately reject the nickname, or pull away at the sound of it.

Joel floundered for a moment, looking for something to say, eventually settling on uttering a quiet, “Sounds like a smart kid.”

You smiled, taking the mug off of Joel as he finally finished making the tea, avoiding your eyes. “I guess.” You replied, cradling the warm ceramic mug tightly in your hands. “Somehow, he seems to know what I need to hear, before even I know.” You said, humour coating your fond tone.

Joel smiled. “Sounds familiar. Tess was always like that, with me.”

It was one of the first times Joel had openly mentioned her name since she died. For some reason, it made your shoulders feel much lighter, like the burden of not being able to talk about her had been weighing you down.

“I miss her.” You confessed, looking for his reaction.

“I do, too, kiddo.” Joel admitted, his words softer than you had ever heard them. You thought about what it must’ve been like for him, to lose the companion he had held as close as he dared for close to two decades. You couldn’t imagine.

You hesitated, opening your mouth, before closing it again, only going ahead when Joel gave you a reassuring nod. “You knew her much better than I ever did.”

“I suppose.”

“Do you think you could… I don’t know, just— just tell me about her, one day?” You asked, the hope in your words making Joel’s heart ache.

“‘Course. I’ll tell you whatever you’d like to know.” Joel said, smiling gently at you, nodding his head towards the living room, a soft look on his face as he sat down beside you on the couch. “Ask away, kiddo.”

You were quiet for a moment, feeling lighter than you had possibly your whole life. “Do you think she’d like pottery?” You asked, sharing a knowing smile with Joel. He laughed at the concept, something so amusing about the idea of Tess Servopoulos, the renowned smuggling boss, sitting in your shop and making dinnerware.

“If it was with you, I reckon she’d have liked anything.” Joel responded, something truthful to his words.

You smiled, and asked more about her.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

if the door wasn’t shut taglist: @sleepylunarwolf @am-i-shit-or-am-i-the-shit @mandowhatnow @aphrcdites @doodlebob-mp3 @rrickgrrimes8 @nikt-wazny-y @fallenoutofrose @wrathofcats @kakimakiloh @pinkpurplepuffs @ameagrice @optimisticprime3 @httpjiikook @hnslchw @ioonatv @ackermanbitch @jay1bird23 @martinsmomo @brilliantopposite187 @calumhoodssidehoe @truthfuleeyours @code-roevember @cappucinolia @wrappedinfiction @angelmenace @your-shifting-gurl @gimalo135 @xaimary @v-linelicker @imonmykneessir @kayler-23 @dilfdemolisher @pedropascalslilbaby @rh1nestonecowg1rl @randomstory56 @ipadkidsworld @kobababysblog @wren-ly @morganfullaaa @theyoutubedork

[running-with-kn1ves]

Hii ! I wanted to ask if you could do more yandere gangster.

A/N: here's a ramble that is similar to so many other fics/imagines but its ALL I CAN THINK OF RN...

CW: kidnapping, yandere themes, murder, illicit substances mentioned, weaponry, some suggestive thots, general dark content shtuff.

Gangster! Yan who’s the right hand man to one of your city’s oldest gangs, the bosses family operating it since the prohibition era. Their main source of income back then was smuggling alcohol to different speakeasies and clubs, now mostly dabbling in the occasional shipment of opioids or small arms that they can get their hands on. Your gangster! Yan doesn’t handle that side of business, though. He’s been tasked to oversee deals, and the protection of the boss and whatever sweet treat he has on his arm for the evening.

When a ‘project’ goes haywire, he’s there to settle things. When someone needs to be taken care of, he oversees it while his boys do what they need to. And when there’s a witness to a particularly unsavory part of business, he personally sees to shutting them up. 

That’s why he didn’t have a choice but to watch you, to learn your morning routine and stare intensely when you perused the grocery isles indecisively. The boss put him up to it, to dispose of every flaw in their seamless operations; countless times he entered your backdoor, breaking the lock you had just replaced due to his previous endeavor, watching you curl up in warm white sheets and smush your face against your pillow. Standing outside wasn’t an option anymore, his shadow from the window disturbed you, and it blocked the trickle of moonlight on your dewey skin. 

Even with the small pistol in his hidden coat pocket, the crowbar he ued to pry the door open, the compulsion to rid you of what you had seen to appease his leader could not overtake the complete desire to rub his face into your chest, to have your thighs wrapped around his head like a sea of warmth, needing that earthy scent of your skin that somehow calmed his screaming heart to completely surround him. 

What drew him to you was how alone you had been-- at home, at the scene of the crime, when you were out and about. Who would miss you? Who was there to take care of you? What would be the purpose to killing you? You hadn’t even gone to the police yet, despite the millions of questionable asks you submitted to reddit and looked up online for what to do after seeing a man’s murder. 

The roughly edged gangster found it endearingly cute, so foreign to the life he had led. You had no way of stopping him if he completed what he was supposed to, no one to turn to if you suddenly found yourselves at the hands of a shady group of men who used you as a drug mule. 

Gangster! Yan knew the kind of underlings his boss employed, easy men on probation or past druggies who wouldn’t think for a minute to stop from gobbling you up on the side of the street if you just so happened to walk down the wrong alley. Seeing as you had stupidly yet to make a distinct change your route after witnessing his gangs work, it could happen any day now. 

He couldn’t let you fall prey to the men he didn’t have a leash on, nor let you continue to live in such suffocating solitude with that neutral look on your face forever. Even if it was only filled with fear from now on, from him-- he’d give you a better life than what you lived.

It was too easy to take you, too easy to drag you to his car, too easy to put you in the decent condo he had been paying for the past decade and barely came home to. Now, he had just realized, he’d have a real reason to come back home. He couldn’t just sleep the night away in shitty bars just to wake up to the next day of work. He had to take care of you, feed you, make sure you bathed. 

Gangster! Yan was almost as surprised when he gave you the cold shoulder, heartlessly teasing you for your stupidity in walking down a known drug-trade neighborhood, for not having realized that he had stalked  you every. single. Day. as you were blind to his heavy, broad shadow of scars and grimaces.

You were so quietly willing to appease him, to scoot to his lap when he demanded it with a threatening hand over his pocket, pretending as if the empty space was a weapon. “Please don’t kill me” you asked neverendingly, every meek breath expecting a slap or a shove off. But the criminal held onto you tighter, hating the reminder that you weren’t a willing pet. 

Even when your eyes faded back with ecstasy, your arms thrown around his shoulders with a grip that only a lover could offer, he saw the flinch you gave when he bent down to kiss you. 

Even with his harsh spats that he throws at you for your mistakes, his belittlement, you are his comfort doll when he’s deal with hardships for the day. When the horrible things he’s done starts to get to him and the alcohol doesn’t drown it out,  or when one of his drop-offs go to shit, you’re the one he bee-lines for for to rant to, to make you stroke him and nod at how hard he’s worked. But his possessiveness is soul-crushing. His grip is painful when he holds you at night, his kisses rough against your mouth with his chain-smoker breath and chapped lips that haven’t been touched in ages.

But with you, he’s learned to take better care of himself. He already has you, wants you in every way, but he needs you to want him, to need him. So, coming home to shower, geling his hair back like he did as a young rookie, shaving his 5 o’clock shadow, he’s made himself into the perfect, respectable man-- or wannabe bad boy. But no amount of grooming could change your perception of the blood stained gangster that kept you in a cage before you were trustworthy enough to be chained to the bed. 

“I’ve killed for you, who else could say that?” 

“Been thinkin’ bout you all day, waiting here for me. Came home as fast as I could so you wouldn’t be lonely. A nobody like you can’t be left to your own devices for too long.”

“Won’t let no other fucker get a hold of you, you’re mine-- through and through. I’ll kill us both before something seperates us.

[whyse7vn]

FENTANYL -

[ ot7 x reader ] > part one HERE

NEWJEANS

8 participants - 8 online

———————————

hobi: namjoon a bop

jimin: literally 😭

jk: 𝓯𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓪𝓷𝔂𝓵 ❤️

namjoon: oh

y/n: pls ignore jungkook he’s going through a phase rn

jin: i think jungkook is a drug addict and we need to talk about it

jk: 𝓁ℯ𝓉𝓈 𝓉𝒶𝓁𝓀 𝒶𝒷ℴ𝓊𝓉 𝒾𝓉

namjoon: what is a bop?

hobi: how he have like 3 different women in one video

jimin: BOP 😭😭

jk: ᵇᵃᵇʸ ⁿᵃᵐʲᵒᵒⁿ

y/n: jungkook

jk: 𝓲 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝔂𝓸𝓾 💓

y/n: not right now jungkook

jk: 𝓲’𝓶 𝓼𝓸𝓻𝓻𝔂

y/n: it’s okay

jk: 𝓲 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾

y/n: jungkook

jk: 𝓰𝓲𝓻𝓵𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭

jin: that’s a literal drug addict right there

namjoon: he’s not a drug addict jin

jin: SAYS THE OTHER DRUG ADDICT

LIKE OMG

joon literally put jungkook onto this life

jk: 𝒾 𝓀𝓃ℴ𝓌 𝒿ℴℴ𝓃 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒿𝓊𝓃𝑔𝓀ℴℴ𝓀

y/n: you are jungkook

jk: 𝔂𝓮𝓼 >.<

hobi: i’m worried for him guys

jk: 𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓸𝓸 :(

y/n: he is talking about YOU

jk: 𝓭𝓸 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓶𝓮 𝓫𝓪𝓬𝓴

jin: namjoons influence i’m telling you

namjoon: stop

yoongi: why did jungkook say fentanyl

jk: 𝒹ℴ𝓃𝓉 𝒻ℴ𝓇𝑔ℯ𝓉 𝓉𝒽ℯ 𝒽ℯ𝒶𝓇𝓉

yoongi: is he doing fentanyl now??

namjoon: no

but doesn’t bop mean good song??

how can i be a good song

that makes no sense

jk: 𝓯𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓪𝓷𝔂𝓵 ❤️

tae: hiiii

yoongi: no

tae: guys what is it called when like baby debuts??

hobi: child labour?

jin: newjeans?

hobi: jungkook and y/n core?

namjoon: birth

tae: BIRTH

thats it

guys isn’t birth so beautiful ❤️

jk: 𝓫𝓲𝓻𝓽𝓱 𝓲𝓼 𝓹𝓪𝓲𝓷 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮 𝓲𝓼 𝓹𝓪𝓲𝓷 𝓲 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓹𝓻𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓬𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾

namjoon: ok now can someone now tell me what bop means??!

jimin: i’m going to hurt myself

jk: 𝓳𝓲𝓶𝓲𝓷

𝓭𝓸𝓷’𝓽

𝓲’𝓶 𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮

𝓲 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓹𝓻𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓬𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾

tae: i wish i could experience birth

y/n: ???

hobi: technically we all have

like

we were born

we’ve experienced birth

jk: 𝔀𝓸𝓪𝓱

tae: no

i want to GIVE birth

yoongi: fucking freak

tae: no i’m not

it’s a natural calling a man has at least once in his life

y/n: calling?

jk: ʷʰᵉⁿ ʷⁱˡˡ ᵗʰᵉʸ ᶜᵃˡˡ ᵐᵉ

tae: don’t worry kook i’ll pass ur number down

yoongi: stop talking

tae: yoongi i’m literally bent over rn

yoongi: ???????

namjoon: please don’t

tae: lets make this baby

y/n: oh

yoongi left “newjeans”

jimin left “newjeans”

hobi left “newjeans”

jin left ”newjeans”

namjoon left “newjeans”

tae: looks like it’s just me and you gorjuice

jk: 𝓱𝓲 𝓫𝓻𝓸 😍

y/n: tae timeout

tae: i JUST got here

y/n added yoongi to “newjeans”

y/n added jimin to “newjeans”

y/n added jin to “newjeans”

y/n added hobi to “newjeans”

y/n added namjoon to “newjeans”

yoongi: why would he say that

jimin: like

hobi: i honestly threw up

jin: still throwing up as i type

namjoon: what the fuck man

tae: dose the calling of birth scare you guys?

namjoon: *does

tae: and you call yourselves feminists….

jk: 𝒾 𝓅ℯ𝓇𝓈ℴ𝓃𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎 𝒸𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝓎𝓈ℯ𝓁𝒻 𝒿𝓊𝓀ℴℴ𝓀

hobi: sighs

jk: 𝒶𝓁𝓈ℴ 𝓉𝒶ℯ 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝒸𝒶𝓃’𝓉 𝓉𝒶𝓁𝓀 𝓌𝒽ℯ𝓃 𝓎ℴ𝓊’𝓇ℯ ℴ𝓃 𝓉𝒾𝓂ℯ ℴ𝓊𝓉

y/n: kook is right tae shut up

tae: 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬

jk: 𝓳𝓾𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓬𝓮 𝔀𝓪𝓼 𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓿𝓮𝓭 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓹𝓮𝓪𝓬𝓮 𝔀𝓪𝓼 𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓻𝓮𝓭

jimin: the font is pissing me off

yoongi: had to block him on twitter

jk: 𝓎ℴℴ𝓃𝑔𝒾 𝓹𝓵𝓼 𝓊𝓃𝒷𝓁ℴ𝒸𝓀 𝓂ℯ

yoongi: kill yourself

jk: 𝓮𝓿𝓲𝓵 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓷𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝔀𝓲𝓷 𝓪𝓰𝓪𝓲𝓷𝓼𝓽 𝓶𝓮

hobi: i hope min heejins black magic wins against you

y/n: LMAOSOSK

jk: :(

y/n: sorry

not cool hobi not cool!

namjoon: hoseok please

hobi: i’m speaking for all of us mr bop

jk: 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓭𝓸𝓷𝓽 𝓼𝓹𝓮𝓪𝓴 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓶𝓮

namjoon: i don’t even want to know what it means anymore

taking it as a compliment

thank u 👍🏼

jk: 𝓃𝒶𝓂𝒿ℴℴ𝓃 𝒾𝓉𝓈 𝓃ℴ𝓉 𝒶 𝒸ℴ𝓂𝓅𝓁𝒾𝓂ℯ𝓃𝓉 💀

namjoon: oh

jk: 𝐛𝐨𝐩

jin: it’s kinda crazy that she did that tho

yoongi: who

jimin: min heejin

namjoon: allegedly guys pls remember

jin: low-key wish it took us all out

jk: 𝔀𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝔀𝓮 𝓰𝓸𝓲𝓷𝓰?

jimin: shut UP

jk: 𝓰𝓾𝔂𝓼 𝓶𝓮𝔀 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓶𝓮

🤫🧏🏼‍♂️

🤫🧏🏼‍♂️

🤫🧏🏼‍♂️

🤫🧏🏼‍♂️

tae: i’m mewing

🤫🧏🏼‍♂️

namjoon: what

jk: 𝓶𝓮𝔀 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓾𝓼 𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷

🤫🧏🏼‍♂️

namjoon: tf is he saying to me

jk: 𝓶𝓮𝔀

tae: 🤫🧏🏼‍♂️

namjoon: what

hobi: this drake and kendrick beef crazy guys

tae: team drake

jk: 𝓴𝓮𝓴𝓮 𝓭𝓸 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓶𝓮

namjoon: what is mew?

jimin: drake son or taehyung daughter

jk: 𝓴𝓮𝓴𝓮 𝓭𝓪𝓾𝓰𝓱𝓽𝓮𝓻

tae: i pick both

y/n: child neglect

yoongi: suicide

jin: murder

namjoon: mew??

jk: 🤫🧏🏼‍♂️

tae: mewing son 🤫🧏🏼‍♂️

yoongi: actually shut the fuck up

jk: 𝓰𝓮𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓭𝓪𝓲𝓵𝔂 𝓶𝓮𝔀 𝓲𝓷

namjoon: what is mew?

jin: new?

jk: 𝓶𝓮𝔀

tae: 🤫🧏🏼‍♂️

y/n: pls stop

jk: 𝓼𝓸𝓻𝓻𝔂 𝓲 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾

tae: i will be posting a cover of gods plan on youtube !!

jimin: i will be covering my ears !!

jk: 𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓲𝓼 𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓹𝓵𝓪𝓷

namjoon: mew?

tae: namjoon got gods mew schedule this is crazy

hobi: it’s hard being around unintelligent people all the time

you don’t get this rap beef like i do

jk: 𝓫𝓮𝓮𝓯 🤤

jimin: maybe i don’t want to get it

yoongi: couldn’t care less hope they both die

y/n: go kendrick!!!!!!!!

jin: who are we taking about

tae: no i get it like i get no joke hobi i get it drake and kanye go crazy 😭😭💯

hobi: it’s drake and KENDRICK

namjoon: mew the pokémon yes ??

the pink one

this one???

jk: 𝓶𝓮𝔀 𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 🤫🧏🏼‍♂️

y/n: kook please

jk: 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓃𝓀 𝓎ℴ𝓊

yoongi: take this fucking font app away from him

jk: 山卄ㄚ ㄚㄖㄖ几Ꮆ丨

jimin: i think this is my fault

namjoon: someone confirm my mew picture

hobi: bop

tae: kendrick a bop

hobi: YOUAREUGLY IHOPE YOU DIE

jk: Boi🐿what🐿da🐿hell🐿boi

y/n: i hate being here

jimin: been giving him a skittles this past week and telling him they were percs lol

namjoon: what

jin: HES ON PERCS ??!!!!

I TOLD YOU

DRUG ADDCIT

DRUG ADDCIT

DRUG ADDCIT

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

SOUND THE SIREN

hobi: by riize

ot7 version i hope

jin: JIMIN AND JUNGKOOK OFF FUCKING PERCS I TOLD YOU

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

jimin: skittles NOT percs

jk: ʲⁱᵐⁱⁿ ᵖˡˢ ᵈᵒⁿ’ᵗ ᵗᵃˡᵏ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ

𝓲 𝓭𝓸𝓷’𝓽 𝓭𝓸 𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓬𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝔂𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝔂 𝓱𝓾𝓻𝓽 𝓶𝔂 𝓽𝓮𝓮𝓽𝓱 𝓹𝓵𝓼 𝓫𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓮𝓿𝓮 𝓶𝓮 𝑔𝓊𝓎𝓈 𝓅𝓁𝓈

jimin: i’m telling you it was a skittle not a perc

jk: 𝔀𝓱𝓪𝓽

jimin: jungkook you are not a crippling perc addict you have just been eating skittles

jk: 𝔀𝓸𝓪𝓱

jin: oh..

jk: ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

|(• ◡•)|| (• ◡•)|| (• ◡•)|| (• ◡•)|| (• ◡•)|| (• ◡•)|| (• ◡•)|| (• ◡•)|| (• ◡•)|| (• ◡•)|| (• ◡•)|| (• ◡•)|| (• ◡•) |٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و٩(ᐛ)و＼(٥⁀▽⁀ )／＼(٥⁀▽⁀ )／＼(٥＼(٥⁀▽⁀ )／＼(٥⁀▽⁀ )／＼(٥⁀▽⁀ )／

\(^ヮ^)/\(^ヮ^)/\(^ヮ^)/\(^ヮ^)/\(^ヮ^)/

^^ 𝓂ℯ 𝒸𝓊𝓏 𝒾 𝒹ℴ𝓃𝓉 𝒹ℴ 𝓅ℯ𝓇𝒸𝓈

yoongi: finding out you don’t actually take percs and are acting like this just because is more concerning actually

y/n: ur concerned yoongi??

yoongi: no

y/n: ur so cute

tae: I AM ALSO CONCERNED

@JUNGKOOK ARE YOU OK?!

jk: 𝓎ℯ𝓈 𝒾 𝒹ℴ𝓃𝓉 𝒹ℴ 𝓅ℯ𝓇𝒸𝓈

namjoon: are we talking about the “mew” noise animals make btw?

hobi: someone tell this bop to shut the hell up

tae: mewing on this hoe ong 😭🤫🧏🏼‍♂️

y/n: shoot me

jk:

|￣￣￣￣￣￣￣|

|⠀⠀ℳ𝒪𝒢𝒢ℰ𝒟⠀⠀|

|＿＿＿＿＿＿＿|

(\__/) ||

(•ㅅ•) ||

/ 　 づ

namjoon: mogged??

jimin: looksmaxxing

namjoon: what

y/n: namjoon pls give up

namjoon: yeah okay

jk: 𝒹ℴ𝓃𝓉 𝑔𝒾𝓋ℯ 𝓊𝓅

𝒻𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓃𝒶𝓃𝒿ℴℴ𝓃𝓈𝓈𝒾

yoongi: give up.

jin: namjoon why were you a baby in your music video?

jk: ᵇᵃᵇʸ ⁿᵃᵐʲᵒᵒᵐ

y/n: age regression

hobi: you into that??

y/n: no wtf ???

hobi: oh my fault

me neither lol

tae: let’s all age regress

jk: 𝑔ℴℴ𝑔ℴℴ 𝑔𝒶𝑔𝒶 🍼😭🤰🤰👶

yoongi: ur so gross

jin: so namjoom can you like answer my question

namjoon: basically

jimin: he was reliving his days of youth

i know the concept of youth maybe so far out of reach for you jin that you can’t even IMAGINE what the hell i’m even talking about but yeah

reliving youth ❤️❤️

jin: kill yourself.

namjoon: no but close

jin: you too

namjoon: oh!

jk:

✅✅✅✅✅✅✅

✅✅✅✅✅✅✅

✅ 𝗩𝗜𝗕𝗘 𝗖𝗛𝗘𝗖𝗞 ✅

✅✅✅✅✅✅✅

✅✅✅✅✅✅✅

y/n: suicide vibes

hobi: suicide squad

jk: 𝚠𝚘𝚔𝚎 𝚞𝚙 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎

yoongi: im gonna smash his phone i think

tae: why do you think yoongi

why don’t you know

jk: ��𝒽𝓎 𝒹ℴ𝓃𝓉 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝓀𝓃ℴ𝓌 𝓎ℴℴ𝓃𝑔𝒾

tae: brotha doesn’t know a thing ohmygod 💀💀

jk: 𝒿𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝒸𝓁𝓊ℯ𝓁ℯ𝓈𝓈 𝒶𝓈 𝒽ℯ𝓁𝓁 😂💀

hobi: this fucking font

jk: 𝒹ℴ𝓃𝓉 𝒻𝓊𝒸𝓀 𝓉𝒽ℯ 𝒻ℴ𝓃𝓉

y/n: what is going on today

like why has everyone lost their minds

jk: 𝒾𝓂 𝒻ℴ𝓊𝓃𝒹

yoongi: find a therapist

jimin: or a building to jump off lol

namjoon: don’t do that jungkook

please

jin: joon begging like a bitch what’s new

tae: it’s the age regression in him

yoongi: that makes no sense

jimin: maybe yoongi needs to age regress always so tense let loose

yoongi: don’t enable his ideas

tae: age regress with us yoongi

jk: 𝓌𝒶𝒶𝒶𝒶 𝓌𝒶𝒶𝒶 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

yoongi: this is like extremely strange i hope you know that

jk: 𝓌𝒶？🍼👶

yoongi: y/n

y/n: guys

jk: i’m sorry please forgive me

i’m sorry please forgive me

y/n

hi do you forgive me

lmk of you forgive me or not

i’m sorry

do you forgive me

i know i did wrong do you forgive me yes or no

not my song btw

btw i’m not referencing my song

i’m asking you yes or no if you forgive me or not

NOT referring to my song titled yes or no

omg sorry for shouting i didn’t mean to shout i’m sorry

i hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me….

do you?

jimin: do you want to kys?

perhaps??

hobi: maybe

jin: possibly

yoongi: please

—

scrap want to bash my head against the wall sorry better things soon i hope

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @blairebangtan @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @k4ngelz @jmnscutie @threeopossumsinacoat @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin @elissasimp @socksfirstalways @knjlvr06 @lailaisarmy @thvkives @xstfudaisyx @xxxanimangxxx @solstice34 @ml8dy @hoeforseoks @futuristicenemychaos

[xoxoxkisses]

Hear me out.

Could u pls do something like where mui and the reader are hashiras during the infinity castle arc and the reader and mui both verse kokushibo but the reader gets badly injured and dies before mui then after koku gets killed mui crawls next to the reader to stay next to them in his last moments (im a sucker for angst)

(ps im sorry if youve donesomething similar before)

In your final moments

Muichiro x Reader

warnings: angst , not proofread

————————————————————————

The last thing you remember seeing was Tokito crawling towards you before your eyes shut for good. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You weren’t sure where you were, but you knew it wasn’t good. It didn’t take you long to drop into a room. You looked around and didn’t see anything, until you heard a thump beside you. You looked to your right and saw Tokito staring at you and back into the darkness. You looked in the same direction, and that’s when you saw it. Uppermoon 1.

How did you not sense him? He has been here the whole time and you didn’t know. To say you were nervous was an understatement, for one you were battling the strongest demon after Muzan, and you were fighting with your lover. You knew one of you weren’t making it out alive, and you hoped it was you. You didn’t want to see your lover die, but neither did he.

The two of you stood there for a moment, until Tokito lashed out on the demon. Before you knew it, a full blown battle had began as you jumped into it too. The two of you fought long and hard, it was becoming too much to fight him by yourselves.

You were both injured. Tokito was missing a hand and you, well..you were missing your left leg. You were out of the battle, and now it was just Tokito. That was until Gyomei and Sanemi showed up. You were so happy. Hopefully this meant you all would come out alive.

Well, maybe you spoke too soon. Not too long after you tried to move away from the fight, uppermoon 1 lost grip on one of his swords and it went flying towards you. You couldn’t move out of the way, so the sword slashed through you, across your chest. You couldn’t really breathe anymore, and everything was becoming numb.

You heard Tokito scream out for you, but it was almost too late. You managed to stay conscious longer than anyone thought. You watched as your boyfriend was sliced in half. You watched as he crawled to you slowly, finally making it to you just seconds before you died. He reached for your hand, grabbing it, and with the little strength you had left, you grabbed it back.

The last thing you remember seeing, was your lover crawling to you and spending his last breath with your dying body.

You both died somewhat peacefully that night. Both happy you two were no longer in danger, and could spend eternity together. You couldn’t wait to be put into this next life with him, hoping this time the two of you really got forever. ————————————————————————

a/n: hi guys, I’m going to take a small break because I’m starting sports again, and I was told I have tendinitis and I need to rest my elbow😓 I’ll be back soon ofc 😊

[ghostskiss]

I just done playing cod mw3 and Soap death killed me from the inside, just want to console my mind, I want to see Simon with Soap'ssister!Y/N as lover having each other after the trauma please??? i love your writing and i believe you can ease my heart <3

hey bby! sorry for the late reply, i hope this eases you after some time <3

———

Pain

Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x Soap's Lil Sis Y/N

WC: 4.3k

Warnings: 18+ ANGST, Trauma bonding, Character Death, Mentions of depression, Grief, Sadness, Blood/Injury TW, Bathing in a tub, Soft!Dom Simon, Massaging/hands all over F! body, Clitplay, crygasm, tbh kind of DDLG-esque ((to me at least)). No DDLG wording used though Tried not to spoil too much on Soap's death for other readers!

note: please take care of yourselves loves. if you relate to Y/N in this, i am so very sorry and it does get better. be patient and kind with yourselves and reach out. people need you as much as you need them and that is a strength. not a weakness.

———

Pain.

Pain is what you've been feeling. Disaster, chaos, sadness. But pain was King in your heart. The deciding factor for many things in your life since your big brother has...

You grip your chest and double over in the kitchen, dropping your coffee mug in the sink. Sucking in a breath, you allow the grief to wash over you in the deadening wave that it is. That's what you've learned over these past couple of months. They come and go in waves, this thing called Grief. It hurts every time. Sometimes at night you wonder if they'll ever go away. If it'll always feel like you're drowning without him here. Your big brother. Johnny.

Even though you're clenching your chest and squeezing your eyes shut as you feel through this pain, you haven't cried lately. It's like you've cried so much the first couple of months that your tear ducts have stopped working. A few more moments pass and you stand up straighter, looking at the broken mug in the sink. You feel nothing now, like you hadn't been in agonizing pain just seconds ago. Enough to have made you drop and break one of your favorite mugs. Awhile ago that would've made you cry. You used to be so raw with emotion after the passing of Johnny. Now nothing seems to get you to except the random waves of grief.

Touching a shard in the sink with mild disinterest, you think about all things you used to do. Things that made you feel something. Anything but this never-ending pressure and weight on your shoulders, like you're carrying it around like a support blanket. Your finger slips on the shard, the ceramic cutting into your pointer finger, blood welling to the surface quickly. Another glance of mild disinterest as you bring your hand up to study the open the wound. It hadn't even hurt. How...odd. The warmth of the red liquid trails down your hand to your wrist, as it slowly leaks from your finger.

The doorbell rings, pulling you out of your morbid trance and you blink, almost in shock from the sound. Some days it feels like you're holed up in world different from others entirely, that no one can get you here. The doorbell rings again and this time your feet seem to be unglued finally. Ripping off a paper towel, you press it to your finger and yell out weakly,

"Coming."

Your voice cracks painfully and you wince. When was the last time you'd spoken out loud? The grip you have on your finger tightens as you glance around your home. Christ, when was the last time you'd cleaned anything? Eaten? When was the last time -

Someone pounds on the front door. You zoned out again in the middle of the front entry way. Trying to blink away your dazed state, you reach for the door, opening it. A breath catches in your throat, staring at the...

Ghost.

Ghost.

The man stares down at you in his own confused state, his dark eyes behind that mask he wears taking in inventory of every little thing. In the past you would've shrunk away from his searching gaze. In the past, you would've felt fear. You would've felt self conscious. You stare up at him and will yourself to feel something, anything.

You realize he'd been talking to you and you blink again, voice croaking, "Sorry? What?"

"Why the hell are you bleeding?" His head nods to your hands.

You glance down confused, had already forgotten what happened moments ago. The blood has seeped through your meager little paper towel and was making a fine mess down your arm again. Detached, you state, "Broke my mug."

Ghost is silent for a moment, watching you watch the blood trickle down even more. He's almost unnerved, seeing you in this state. How long have you been like this? His jaw clenches under his mask and he gently grabs your hand with injured finger, squeezing it to keep the blood from flowing as he redirects you back inside. The fact that you move in zombie-like trance pains him. Something he knows well. Seeing it in you...seeing it in Soap's baby sister. And knowing what you're feeling or you're lack of feeling makes his chest hurt.

In your dissociated and detached state, you move with him as he guides you through your own home from behind you. You don't feel entirely here on this plane of existence. But you know that you trust this man, that he's going to help you with your injured finger. That this was a man that your brother trusted with his life. His life.

That thought snaps you out of it and you inhale sharply, taking in your surroundings like you'd been asleep this whole time. Ghost has since sat you down at the kitchen table, glass of water next to you and some ibuprofen. The water runs in the kitchen sink and you can smell your lavender hand soap. Your head turns to the kitchen, catching Ghost's gaze as he dries his hands off. He stares at you and then nods to the items on the table. Turning back to it, you grab the glass and frown, seeing your already bandaged finger. You drink some water and down the pain killers with it as Ghost comes around and pulls a chair from the table to sit in front of you. He gently grabs your hands into his and holds them, leaning his elbows on his legs.

"How are you?" his voice is quiet, not exactly a whisper, but something above it. It's nice. It's calm. It's familiar, in a way. You think about the last time you'd seen him. When was it? Johnny's funeral. Johnny.

"Hey."

You look up from your joined hands, realizing yet again you'd went away somewhere. Ghost's eyes ping to yours, back and forth, like he's trying to read your mind. Like he's trying to figure out where you're going too. How to keep you here with him. How to keep you present. He leans closer, and you don't even flinch. Like you're in and out of your own consciousness, not aware of anything. His bare hands run up your arms softly and he notes the goosebumps raising as he tickles you. Good. At least you're somewhat aware of that. You blink again, coming back to him from the stimulation. You shiver slightly and Ghost hums, deciding that physical touch is going to work at least for now.

"Why are you here?" you whisper, peering up at him. Your eyes are wide, like he's waking you up out of a dream you'd been stuck in for awhile. This is going to hurt, he realizes. He gently squeezes your shoulders.

"To check in on you. Soap..." his voice dips, "Johnny told me to look after you. I...I'm sorry I haven't been here." He stops at that, not knowing what to say. He doesn't have an excuse. He can't say it was work. Can't say it was anything but his own selfishness, his own pain, his own anguish. He'd lost a brother too.

Something in his voice triggers it in you. Something that starts to slowly swell up inside, like a different kind of pressure. You feel more alert, sharper.

"You're sorry?"

Ghost nods and lets out a slow sigh, his fingers still loosely trailing on your skin. It's starting to irritate you slightly, as you feel his touch awaken your skin. "I don't have an excuse. I made a promise and I couldn't keep it. But I'm here now. I'm here. And if I had known...if I had known you were like this I wouldn't have been... I don't know. Scared. Scared to see you. I was -am- grieving too."

Scared to see you. The man who was the last person with Johnny. The man who had him more than you had him. The man who took your brother away from him. Scared of you. Grieving too. Like he had his brother killed. Killed. Taken away.

Anger. Anger is what this new feeling is. You almost revel in it, almost shuddered with excitement that you're finally, finally feeling something other than the pain. Your heart rate picks up and you almost feel delirious.

"If you hadn't known I was like this?"

Ghost catches the change in your tone and his gaze jerks back up to you in question. You can see his brows dip in confusion as he pulls his hands away from you.

"Honey, look around this place. You...you're not doing okay. I shouldn't have waited this long." He says gently, like you're not aware of how bad you are. Like you have no idea how much you've been in. Like you're not aware at all.

"I know I'm not doing okay, Simon." You spit out behind clenched teeth, "My brother got killed."

Ghost flinches at that, jerking back into his seat as he stares at the ground.

You feel like you conquered something. You feel in control suddenly, prideful that you hurt him with your words. You stand up abruptly, knocking your chair back and Ghost looks up at you with pain in his eyes. You feel high off of that fact. You aren't the only one in pain anymore. You don't have to feel it. You can inflict it.

"You weren't the one who lost your family." Another flinch from the man in front of you, "You weren't the one who had random men show up at your front door step and tell you your brother was killed. You weren't the one who had to go to the funeral and see people who knew him, but not the way that you knew him, people who didn't grow up with him, people who took him away from his real family, people who only worked with him not loved him-"

"I loved him."

Your next words catch in your throat as you gaze down at him in shock.

"What -"

"I said I loved him." Ghost stands up slowly, his hands up like he's approaching a wounded and feral animal. You back up in fear like one anyways. "I loved your brother. I loved Johnny. Johnny loved you. He loved you. He'd always talk about you. He'd show me the letters you'd write him when we'd be shipped out. He'd show me pictures of your family. He'd tell me anything he could about you. He loved you. I know you loved him. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't here for you. I'm sorry I couldn't share the things I had with Johnny, but I'm here now and I'm ready. I'm ready to share anything you want to hear, I know we weren't close before this, but your brother was my best friend. He was a brother to me. I know that our pain of losing him is different, but we still lost someone dear to us. Your brother was dear to me. You alone for that are dear to me as well. I will not let you walk through this alone anymore, sweetheart."

Ghost slowly reaches up and brushes your cheeks and that's when you realize you're crying. A sob catches your throat as you throw yourself at the man in front of you, burying your face into his chest as you cry. His arms come around you, keeping you to him, holding you as your body shakes with emotions. It's not only pain now. Nor anger. There's love and relief. Because now someone does finally understand where your heart and head have been since your brother passed.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Simon I didn't -" you start, staring up at him with tears blurring your vision. He shushes you and shakes his head, thumbing your tears away.

"Allow yourself to feel everything in this. No emotion is wrong. Anger is healthy." He rubs your back as you press your face in his chest again, breathing him in. It feels good, being hugged by a man such as him. After a few moments, Ghost untangles you slowly from him and jerks his head to the stairs. "Let's get you in a bath."

----------------------------

You stare down at the bubble bath lit with candles in a bit of anxiety. It looks warm and welcoming. Holding your finger up you stare at the gauze wrapped tightly around it. Strict orders under Lt Ghost was to not remove the bandage, even when you complained you'd had to leave your entire hand out of the bath then.

Startling you into a slight jump, Ghost's voice comes from behind the paper thin bathroom door, "You okay? I don't hear you in the bath."

You gnaw on your bottom lip, "Yeah, I'm uh...thinking."

"Thinking?"

You dip your toe in and shudder in delight. Yeah, that man might not look it, but he runs a good bubble bath. You lower yourself slowly, careful not to get your bandaged finger wet. Your body seems to groan with relief as you settle back into the water, head dipping back to lean on the edge of the tub. A few quiet seconds go by before Ghost is at the door again.

“You okay?”

You nod and then realize he can’t see you. “Yeah.” your voice sounds calm and at peace for once. You look around the dimly lit bathroom, candles on the counter lighting the room just enough. “I just wish I could wash my hair. Or anything really. I can’t get my hand wet.”

You think he’s gone by the lack of reply. Which is fine, you didn’t expect him to sit outside your bathroom door the entire time, even if he said he would. That’d be ridiculous to ask of him —

“I can do it. Wash your hair, I mean.” His voice is so soft from behind the door you think you made it up.

“I—”

He starts up again, this time a tad louder and rushed, like he’s trying to find the right words without offending you, “I won’t look. Obviously. There should be enough bubbles to uh… cover you. Not that I’d look even if there weren’t any. Just. Listen I’ll only help wash your hair. Don’t want you to get your bandage wet.” He pauses for a second. “If you want.”

You think it over while looking down at the bath. He’s right, he wouldn’t be able to see anything. You chew on your lip, thinking it over, probably for too long. Letting a slow sigh to calm your nerves, you nod and call him in. He comes in silently and you tense, feeling his presence fill the room. What are you doing? This is your brother’s…lieutenant. War buddy. Best friend. You’re letting him in the bathroom with you while you’re naked for Christ’s sake.

You turn to catch him rolling up his sleeves, bare hands grabbing the edge of the tub to help lower himself down to his knees. You feel yourself shrink back into the bubbles, glad for the low lighting so he can’t see you blushing. He’s staring at you softly, like he’s watching every tiny reaction you’re having to him. Studying you to see if you’re too uncomfortable. You don’t want him to leave so you sit up a little, moving closer to him. He nods a bit and reaches up to untangle your hair from the pile you placed on top of your head. He sweeps his fingers through your hair and your eyes close, allowing yourself to feel in the moment. Not think it. He grabs your bath cup and dips it in the water, letting the warmth cascade through your hair. Gently, he tips your head back so it doesn’t get in your eyes, his large hands are surprisingly soft as he finishes getting your hair wet enough for shampoo. His fingers massage your scalp with the suds and you groan, leaning into him more.

He chuckles, “You’re acting like a cat.”

“Do you like cats?” you ask, curious. Your eyes are closed and you hum as he rubs your head more.

“Hm. I’d like you if you were a cat.”

“You hardly know me. What if I were a bad cat?”

“No such thing.”

He dumps more water through your hair, rinsing you free of all your past worries and fears. You feel your body relax more and you sigh, sad that this is going to end soon. Your eyes peer open at him and you shiver, now thinking of how you have a man, this large mysterious man bathing you. You’ve known of him, met him a couple of times when Johnny would come home and bring him along. But he never talked much, in fact, you were a little scared of him sometimes. Johnny always joked with him but you swear the man was mute around your family. Seeing him so…intimately under the lighting of your bathroom, his rough but gentle hands on you, washing you and touching you, had your heart clenching and your thighs pressing together under the water. Was that wrong of you? What would your brother think right now? In the beginning it was appropriate enough, but now with these thoughts running rampant, it didn’t feel like an innocent hair washing session. You were suddenly so aware of how naked you were. How the bubbles in the bath were dissipating like they do after some time.

Ghost looks at your bandaged finger, grabbing your hand to pull you closer to him to inspect it. He makes a satisfied sound in seeing that you haven’t gotten it wet.

“Need me to wash you?”

Your throat dries as you stare at him, as he’s casually looking over your hand in his. You think of those very same hands on your body. His fingers caressing you, sudsing you up with your body wash. You’re about to tell him no, to be respectful to him. He’s probably innocently thinking he’s helping you and here you are getting worked up over him just washing your hair.

“I won’t…I won’t—”

“Do anything I don’t want you to?” You finish for him, not sure if that’s what he was even going to say. He nods anyways and catches your gaze to level it, like he’s telling you means it. Not only with his words but his eyes. You nod back and you stare at each other for a moment longer before he’s reaching for the wash. He pours some in the palm of his large hand and you swallow, turning your gaze away from him, the eye contact beginning to have been too much.

His hands connect with your shoulder softly and you close your eyes, tension leaving you quicker than you thought. He leans you forward a bit and gets your back, dipping under the water and coming back up. Your head lulls to the side as he comes back up and sweeps his hand across your collarbones, raising your arm to get your armpit and you giggle, though he seems to be taking his job seriously. He grunts at your reaction and turns your body a bit to get the other side of you.

You shudder, trying not to squirm under his tickling touch. His hands dip under the water to grab one of your legs and you squeal, catching the sides of the tub so you don't tip under. He laughs lightly, lathering up your calves and feet, your toes trying to wiggle out from underneath his grip. It's light and playful until you sit up, completely forgetting the setting that you're in. Ghost's hands drop from you and he sits back abruptly, making you frown and glance down at yourself. Bubbles from the bath are slowly falling from your breasts down your sides and stomach, your nipples tightening from the change in temperature. Ghost's wet hands grip the edge of the bath and you're both frozen, like you're both shocked at what you're witnessing. Heat fills your body and you turn towards him more, hearing the ever so slight hitch in his breath as your nipple grazes his knuckles.

Your uninjured hand grabs one of his and tugs gently, getting him to unglue his fingers from the tub. He watches you move your joined hands towards your chest and he utters your name out in a low warning. You pretend not to hear him as you guide his hand to cup a breast gently.

"You didn't wash me here." You whisper innocently, now looking up at him through your wet lashes. You feel Ghost's fingers spread before lightly gripping you in response. You shiver, pressing more into his touch.

Ghost lets out a noise in the back of his throat, like he's unsure on how to proceed. "We--"

You grab his other hand and do the same thing, the sudden action cutting him off from whatever he was about to say. His eyes drop to your breasts and he swipes a thumb across your nipple before testing the weight of you in his palms. You let out a small sigh, eyelids drooping from the feel of his warm hands on you. He plays with you like that, sweeping, feeling, testing, and washing your tits as you struggle to keep your head up from the pleasure. His fingers trail down to your sternum, even further to your belly button and you're nodding your head, like you're trying to encourage him to keep going.

"You want me to wash you there too, honey?"

You're nodding again, eyes half open while your press as much of yourself into his hands. Practically begging him without saying the words. Ghost hums and he pulls away entirely, standing up to chuck off his sweater that's gotten wet from the bath. Underneath he's got a plain black t-shirt that hugs his broad shoulders and you sit back, taking the large man in as he settles back down.

"Turn around. Lean your back here." He pulls your shoulders against the tub, his hands coming around you. You look down and watch his hands fondle your tits, fingers coming around to pinch your nipples lightly, just giving you enough pressure to gasp. His head settles in the crook of your shoulder, material of the mask brushing against your neck lightly, tickling you. He turns and whispers darkly in your ear while one hand trails down the front of your body, other gripping your chest.

"Let yourself feel. Stay with me."

Your eyes drift shut as his fingers go lower and lower until you're raising your hips to catch his finger tips into your sex. He chuckles airlessly, pressing into your aching clit. "Right here, baby?" You nod again frantically, whining out as he starts pressing slow circles. Your clit throbs as his fingers catch it, rolling it and playing with it as you gasp out. "Keep that bandage dry." The tone he delivers that in has an underlining connotation of a threat. An or else.

It makes your breath hitch and your head lull back, hitting his shoulder as he leans into you from behind the tub, his fingers playing slowly, exploring you. His other hand cups and plays with your breasts and he hums with curiosity when he finds the right spot, the right pressure. You don’t need to tell him, he can tell by the way you tense and then melt into him, almost like you’re fighting against the pleasure he’s giving you. His cock strains hard against his jeans and he curses himself about the morals and lines you two are crossing, yet he can’t find it in himself to care. In the throes of your pleasure as you cry out louder, your hands that were on the tub’s edge start to slip and the masked man tsks at you.

“Hands out of the water.”

You whimper and place them back on the edge, gripping and holding so you don’t entirely submerge yourself in the water containing you. Ghost picks up the pace of his fingers circling your clit and you moan out, hips bucking up. You’re close.

“Ghost,” you gasp, not sure what you’re about to say or beg or plead for.

“That’s it. Let go. Let go.” his voice is coaxing, like he’s gently leading you, not demanding you. Nurturing you, taking care of you. Your body responds like it was a command, toes curling, head falling backwards, breath catching and then crescendoing as your legs tense up, capturing Ghost’s ever moving hand to your pussy as you come. It’s breathtaking and blinding, and by the time you come back to reality, you’re gasping for air like you finished running.

Ghost lets you gather your bearings before he’s slowly untangling himself from you, rinsing the rest of your body off. He helps you stand on your wobbly legs, pulling you up and put of the tub with ease. A warm large towel comes around you and he dries you off thoroughly before wrapping it around your body and pulling you into him. He rests his cheek on top of your head, rubbing your back in the embrace. You can feel yourself crying, though you’re not sad. You blink away the tears as Ghost holds you.

“Let’s get you in bed sweetheart.”

He transitions you into your bed, and you reach out for him with watery eyes. He sighs a bit, but kicks off his boots and clambers into the bed after you, somehow just knowing this entire time what you need. The bandage, the bath, the feeling of something other than the pain in your heart. He pulls you into him, keeping you wrapped in the covers and he softly kisses your forehead through his mask. Your eyelids droop. Even though you’ll never get your brother back, and Ghost will never get his back, you’re here together. Going through it together. You were never really alone, even with how bad it hurt and how much you thought otherwise. It didn’t hurt right now, but it may in the future and that’s okay. You had time. You’re going to take it one step at a time.

“I’m right here baby. You’re okay.”

And you knew he was right.

[frvnkcastles]

sorry for being anon but omg!!! i love ur writing so much i always check to see if u have posted, anyway i was wondering if you could maybe write something where reader nd frank have a big argument nd it almost leads to angry sex but reader ends up saying a safe word or something and its just super fluffy and sad and cute… love u

POISON FROM THE SAME VINE ➸ F. CASTLE

Summary: When an argument with Frank escalates, you have to use your safeword.

Warnings: Making out, not quite smut, use of safe word, implied suicide ideation, feminine nicknames, hurt/comfort

Word count: 1.4k

Author’s note: I hope you like this anon!! I’m always happy to write about Frank being a comforting ole teddy bear. Missing him a lil extra tonight :(

You and Frank rarely argued, hardly even disagreed, unless the air was playful and teasing — on those occasions, he made sure to push your buttons — but for the most part, the two of you were in complete harmony and understanding of each other. So, when you did fight, it had to be about something serious.

Tonight, it was the fact that he had disappeared for weeks without a trace, not even a note, not a phone call or a text message to reassure you that he was alive. Maybe you could have swallowed that, but when you heard from Curtis that Frank had contacted him, you had seen red. Why hadn’t he bothered to get Curtis to relay a message? Why hadn’t he put in the effort for you?

It hurt all the more when you thought back to the night you had told him about your struggles with abandonment and always feeling like you were gonna lose your loved ones. Like you’d never be good enough and somehow you’d push him away. And he had nodded, kissed the back of your hand and promised that would never happen.

And yet, here you were, reminding him of that very night while angrily fighting back tears. You were sad, but more than that, you were angry, and you didn’t want him to get out of this too easily.

”I couldn’t risk it”, he repeated what he had told you countless times already, his tone loud but not yelling, his eyes trained on his hands while you stood across from him, heartbroken and betrayed. He couldn’t bear looking at you, well-aware that he had done you dirty, but at the same time, he had very little regret in him. If going no-contact was going to keep you alive, then he’d do it all over again.

”What if it didn’t keep me alive, Frank? What if I was convinced you were dead and I— what if I—”, you began, but choked up before you could get the words out. Frank understood what you had implied, though, and finally, he looked up at you with wide eyes.

”Promise me it won’t come to that. Promise me that no matter what happens, you’ll keep going”, he insisted, but scoffing, you wiped your eyes again and sniffled.

”You’re in no position to make demands right now”, you reminded before crossing your shaky arms. ”I’m really hurt, Frank. You could have given me some kind of sign”, you continued, and with a huff, Frank lifted his hand to pinch his nose.

”I told you, I coulda gotten you killed and nothin’ is worth that”, he argued back, and waving your hand to dismiss him, you moved away from him but he reached for your hand. You reacted quickly, pushing him off of you with a glare, and for a second, you both just stood there, staring at each other, inches away from one another with the air warm and heavy between you.

Maybe it was the anger amplifying the longing that you had both felt for each other, but within a blink of an eye, you were rushing to meet in the middle in a fiery kiss. You closed your eyes and clamored to push his jacket off of his shoulders while his hand came to rest on your neck, not squeezing but only holding you close to him. You had missed the taste of him, and concluding from the groan rumbling from his throat, the feeling was mutual.

In a flurry of movements, the two of you found yourselves in the bedroom, your hands pushing Frank’s jacket off of his broad shoulders while his landed on your hips to firmly hold onto you. His lips were on yours without pause, his scent in your nose and all your senses overwhelmed with just him.

It escalated quickly, your back suddenly against the mattress and the buttons of Frank’s shirt open as he climbed on top of you, and when he lifted your leg around his hips, you didn’t protest.

But something about the hot air started to feel constricting, something about his mouth on your neck making your heartrate pick up in a way that wasn’t so exhilirating. Your eyes opened and you stared at the ceiling while your hands clamored up to Frank’s shoulders, just to rest there while you waited for the anxiety to pass. But your stomach kept turning and you weren’t quite sure how to keep breathing and before you knew it, you were opening your mouth only for a hoarse sound to come out, one that didn’t even remotely resemble your voice.

”Sa—safeword. Frank—”, you stuttered, and within an instant, without even a shove to his shoulders, the man was off of you, his eyebrows knitted together as he sat back on the bed and looked at you. With quick, rapid breaths, you sat up against the headboard and looked down at your shaky hands, losing your ability to speak, and Frank quickly picked up on the seriousness of the situation.

”Shit.” He cleared his throat before looking down at you, lowering himself to be on your level. ”Hey, sweetheart, it’s okay. I won’t touch you anymore, alright? You’re okay. We don’t gotta keep goin’”, he reassured, his voice level and calm and the opposite of everything you were — a trembling, panicking mess.

”Listen to me, aight? It’s okay. Breathe with me, sweet girl. We’re just sittin’ here, you and I. Nothin’ else has to happen. I just wanna make sure you’re okay, yeah?” he went on, the rumble of his voice sending something familiar and calm through your system. Slowly, you managed and nod and you finally looked up at him — and as soon as your eyes met his, you burst into tears.

”I don’t want to fight, I don’t want this”, you stammered through sobs and brought your hands to your face. ”But I was so scared, Frank. You mean everything to me and I thought it was over. I didn’t appreciate you enough while you were here with me”, you continued rambling, everything pouring out of you as you cried, and with his heart breaking in two, Frank frowned.

”Can I hold you, sweetheart? That okay?” he asked quietly, and with an immediate nod, you climbed onto the foot of the bed where he didn’t hesitate to wrap his strong arms around you. He held you tight, shushing you and closing you in the warmth of his embrace with a litany of kisses left on the top of your head.

”I love you. You hear me? I love you. I can’t fuckin’ bear the thought of somethin’ happenin’ to you. I know it was shitty but I thought it was the best I could do, y’know?” he whispered, a tear sliding down his cheek as he licked his lips and interlocked his fingers with you. ”I never wanted you to be scared. Sometimes… I think you’re better off without me.”

You wiped your eyes and looked up at him. ”Frank, I’d rather be in danger with you than be safe and alone. I don’t want to be without you. Please, don’t do that to me”, you pleaded, and for a moment, he looked at you before chuckling.

”You think you ain’t appreciatin’ me enough? Shit, girl, I barely survive without ya. You give me so much and—and what’s more, you make me feel like I deserve it”, Frank shrugged and looked down at where your hands were joined. ”If you want me here, then… I’ll be here. Or if I have to go, then I’ll take you with me.”

Smiling, you reached up to kiss him, your lips connecting in a much softer way this time. His finger caressed your cheek, and it widened your smile as you rested your forehead against his. ”Thank you.”

You were both quiet as Frank continued to hold you, but eventually, he spoke up in a way that seemed almost meek, so unlike him. ”Did I hurt you? When you…”, he began, and with a thick swallow, you shook your head.

”You didn’t hurt me, baby. I just… I don’t think either of us were in the right mindset, huh?” you pointed out, and with another chuckle, Frank nodded. Still, he leaned down to kiss you again, gentle and careful.

”Will you let me stay tonight, anyway? Been sleepin’ like shit without you”, he murmured, and breaking into a grin, you nodded.

”Me too.”

[arthenaa]

Requesting angsty moment with Ominis x f!reader that takes place after what happens with Sebastian and Solomon where Ominis and reader are distraught and guilty and angry but they end up having passionate sex bc they just need to be close to each other so badly in the midst of everything they lost

my saving grace — ominis x f!reader

summary: It happened. Sebastian has completely lost himself and you and Ominis have no idea how to deal with the repercussions. You fear that it will only take just enough for the both of you to lose yourselves but then you remember that the fact that you haven't is because you both still have each other.

content tags: 18+, explicit sexual content, characters are aged up and instead of the seb thing happening during their 5th year, it happens on their 7th, the reader uses she/her pronouns, angst, comfort, reader is ravenclaw, i havent reached this part of the game yet but i kinda know what happened but idk the details so it might be different from what actually happened in the game HAHA, you guys make love in seb's house, comfort sex, crying crying, self reflection, ominis is in love w you, p in v sex, cockwarming, heavy petting, foreplay, ominis fucks u while standing up and against the wall teehee, nasty stuff, you both miss sebastian, i am so sorry i love writing them as a poly relationship but i dont rlly imply anything of both of your relationships with seb, poor you and ominis :(( , kinda short tbh

Silence. Complete and utter silence.

It gives an unpleasant itch in your brain the longer you spend time in it. It's nothing like the ones you have with Poppy while tending to the beasts in class or the ones with Samantha in the comforts of the common room. Or maybe the ones you spend with Ominis and Sebastian in the undercroft.

Ominis and Sebastian.

Sebastian.

Right. That happened.

A few hours ago, you were in the Feldcroft catacombs, helping Sebastian in his quest to find a cure for Anne then next you're standing in shock as your very own best friend had cast an unforgivable on his uncle and he had chosen the worst out of the three. The Killing Curse.

It had happened all too fast. You barely caught a glimpse of the green ray of light heading toward Solomon. You watch as Anne fought off her twin, face filled with disgust and disbelief as she hauled her uncle's unmoving body from the floor. On her way out, she sent you a face of despair and desperation and you knew what she was telling you.

'Take care of him. For me.'

You're currently seated on the steps leading to the Sallow home. The silence was deafening not because of the night but because of the lack of people. No one was home.

You expected Anne to be here but she wasn't and you were close to ripping the strands of hair from your head because now you were worried for both twins. Sebastian was nowhere to be found after the whole fiasco. You remember the scared look on his face after he had done what he did, looking for some sort of semblance of comfort from you, that what he did was right and just because he was doing it for his sister. You thought maybe he had learned from the dangers of dark magic when you were in your 5th year but it seems as time passed, his quest for finding a cure for Anne overshadowed his morals as a person.

You let out a shakey sigh as you hug your legs closer to your chest. The cold breeze of the night provided some sort of comfort in the silence. Your chin rests on the top of your knees, observing the houses around you. It was close to midnight and so you suspected that the people inside were already in their slumber.

"It's late." A familiar voice breaks your reverie. You jump at the sudden presence before turning your head to the culprit.

"Ominis." You whisper, almost so quiet that Ominis barely hears it. The young Gaunt stands in the greenery surrounding the front yard of the Sallow home. You stare as he allows his wand to guide you to where you're seating and seats down beside you.

Somehow, the silence becomes tolerably better as you feel Ominis's warmth from your side. He bites his lip as he fiddles with his wand. "Did you find him?"

"No." You whisper back, eyes staring dead into the night. Another cold wind blows past you.

"Anne?"

"Nope." You could feel the tears start to well in your eyes, you try your best to hold them back. Ominis nods in understanding before he pulls his knees up and rests his hands, outstretched on his knees. His head drops as he lets out a sigh.

It's silent once again and then you finally realized why the silence feels too hard to bear. It's because this town that had always been too silent, always had comfort in it from the way Anne sips her morning herbal tea to Mr. Sallow grumbling as he yet again flips another coin into the well and of course, Sebastian; Sebastian who had both shown you the wonders of his tightly-knit hometown and welcomed you with open arms from when you were 5th years up until your 7th. Sebastian who had shown you Feldcroft's love for tranquility and comfort in silence. You had found yourself in a town— in a home with just the two of you.

Just you and Ominis.

The dam breaks out of nowhere and you could only prevent yourself from full-out bawling as the palm of your hands cover your mouth. Ominis is startled by the sudden sounds of your crying.

"I-I should've stopped him." You sobbed as your hands shake. It was quite muffled with the hindrance of the hands against your mouth but Ominis hears it nonetheless. The blonde only falls silent as he listens to your worries. "Way back then! I should've—"

"No, Y/N." Ominis gently intercepts as he tries to swallow a sudden lump in his throat, preventing the breakdown caused by the events that occurred a few hours ago. "You were just trying to help. I-I would've done it as well, had I been in your place. There was nothing we could do."

Ominis sounds like he's trying to convince himself more than you. You look at him with swollen eyes as the urge to bawl dwindled. You let out a shaky sigh once more as you try to calm yourself.

"All of this started because of me," Ominis whispers. You turn your head towards the young Gaunt in confusion. "I was the one who exposed him to the dark arts. He was a natural learner and when concepts and magic like this are exposed to a person like him, it's innate for Sebastian to know more. He loves Anne more than anything. I-I should've known better when I brought you both to the scriptorium a few years ago. I helped set up that situation for him. I helped him hurt Anne. I made him—"

He couldn't say the words but you knew what he was talking about. You scowl at his insinuation before grabbing his cheeks in your hands and facing them toward you. You could now see the tears silently running down his face. It had sounded like he was so composed but he was just as broken as you were.

"I miss him," Ominis whispers as you hold his face close to yours. Your lip wobbles as you lick your bottom lip to collect yourself.

"You need to listen to yourself, Ominis." You mumble as your thumbs brush against his cold cheeks. "There are a lot of things we don't understand today and most of them we may try to blame ourselves for it but never try to point the blame on something that Sebastian inflicted himself. He was perfectly aware of what this might lead to and he cast it with perfect intentions."

Ominis quietly sobs in your hands as you press your forehead against his. "I'm scared to think right now."

"Then don't." You whisper as your eyes focus on the trembling boy in front of you. "Just focus on me."

Ominis gulps as he tries to compose himself, letting out short breaths as he lifts his hands to feel the sides of your arms then your shoulders then your neck then your jaw then your cheeks. You softly smile as you allow yourself to be seen by Ominis. You bask in his touch before feeling his touch on your lips. Its gentle and faint. Your eyes glance down at his lips before looking up at his cloudy blue eyes.

He leans in hesitantly before placing a soft and tender kiss on your lips. It rests on yours for a couple of seconds before he gently pulls away. There's a moment of pause before he breaks the silence.

"Stay with me." He whispers. You admire his face for a bit as you lean back slightly. You know what he means as he intertwines his hands with yours. It almost makes you cry but you know you needed to both be strong for what's about to come and right now, all you needed was each other. You press your forehead against his to let him feel your nod.

"O-Ominis." You moan softly as the blonde buries his head on your neck. His hands pull you close against him as you seat on his lap. Your cloaks and coats are forgotten on the floor of the house as your bodies entangle with one another on one of the beds inside the Sallow home.

The moment the two of you entered the house, it was just a mess of limbs wanting to be close as they physically can to one another. You can't remember the moment Ominis pulled you into his lap and sucked the living daylights out of you but you can't complain with how good it felt.

"Fuck." Ominis curses as his hands move under your skirt to grip your ass against the fabric of your undergarments. You whimper as you move against the hardening bulge on his crotch. You wrap your arms around his neck as you place your forehead against his.

"Pretty." You whisper, smiling as you trace his features with your hand. "My pretty boy."

Ominis whimpers at the praise before moving his hand in your inner thigh and boldy cupping your sex. You jolt in response, moaning as he grinds the palm of his hand against your clit.

"You've done so well. Done so much." Ominis licks his lips as he feels your wet arousal leak through your underwear. You rest your head on his shoulder as Ominis slides the piece of fabric to the side and slide his fingers in with ease. You moan at the intrusion.

You hug him close as he works your inside, shaping you to fit him. He curls his fingers in, pushing them deeper as it brushes against your sweet spot. You whine at its closeness, your hips trying to push it deeper as you grind on his fingers. Ominis peppers kisses on the side of your neck and jaw, cooing as you continue to let out soft moans and gasps at his ministrations.

"P-put it in." You whisper as your hand grips his wrist to stop him. You had almost come from his fingers alone but all you needed right now is to be closer to him. Ominis nods before the two of you remove your remaining clothes. He casts a protection charm and you watch as a thin sheen surface wrapped around his cock. Your hands find themselves cupping his cheeks once more as he angles his cock against your entrance. You gulp as you feel the head bump into your opening.

"You ready?" He softly asks, rubbing his hands against your hips. You smile as you pull him into a kiss, gently lowering yourself down onto his cock. Both of you softly moan out as you take in his length inch by inch. It takes you a while before you feel his thighs hit against yours. You let out a shaky breath as you rub your noses against one another.

Silence, but this time it's comfort. It fills in your heart with warmth and tranquility. It renders you both speechless and only relying on your bodies to communicate how you feel and so, you move.

You bounce passionately on his lap, feeling his length go in and out of your cunt. It draws out whines and moans as you try to keep yourself as close as possible with your foreheads still against one another. Ominis grips your hips as he tries to meet your bounces with his thrusts, pushing him deeper in you. The pleasure is immense and the need for each other's warmth is felt through the clashing of lips and gripping of one another's skin.

At one point, Ominis grabs your waist and pulls you to stand up with ease. Your legs wrap around his waist as he bounces you up and down his cock with vigor. You make choked noises as you certainly feel the thrust of his cock hit the back of your throat. You wrap your arms around his neck as he pushes you against the wall, growling as he rams his cock into you.

You allow yourself to be at his mercy. To be his canvas as he paints you with reds, greens, and blacks signifying the emotions brought by earlier events. Sebastian. Anne. Mr. Sallow. The triptych. The Scriptorium. His family. Slytherin. You allow him to use you as he sees fit as you do to him.

Ominis pulls his head back from your neck, thoroughly marking your neck. He presses his forehead against yourself as you feel his hips stuttering.

"Stay with me. Please—" He whispers, broken as he pleads softly. You grabs his face between your hands as he practically fucks you into the wall. "Stay. Stay by me. F-Fuck."

"I'm here." You reassure him as you place a chaste kiss on his lips before you move to press against his ear, your hand gripping his hair tightly. He moans in response. "I'm here. I'll be here, always."

He snarls at your response as he moves his hips faster. His hand dives down to rub your clit, stimulating you further to your climax. You let out high-pitched whines against his ear as you grip his hair tighter.

It's him who releases first as he bottoms out and let his fluid be caught by the protective charm, forming a barrier from being released inside you, yet despite his release being protected, you could still feel its warmth which prompts you to release as well. Your body jolts at your orgasm, your thighs shake and your toes curl at the intensity. You push against Ominis, head banging against the wall as you choked out moans.

"I love you. I fucking love you." Ominis snarls as he dips down to suck your breasts. It further enhances your lengthy orgasm as you grip his shoulders in sensitivity. Ominis gently pries you from the wall as you slump in his arms before gently placing you down on the bed.

Its all hazy as you feel being cleaned up before a body is pressed up yet again against you. Ominis wraps you in his embrace as you pull him close. You feel overwhelmed with the need to be close to him as he continues to give you soft kisses against your face. You didn't even know you were crying before Ominis gently brushed against your temples, catching the falling tears. You open your eyes as you stare at him beside you.

"Ominis." You whisper as you face him on your side. You place a soft kiss on his lips as your leg rests over his hip. The need for each other's touch never left. His hand runs the length of your thigh as he slots himself between your legs. You miss the fullness as your swollen and sensitive pussy clenched over nothing. "Inside. Please."

Ominis moves in silence as his hand pushes you close against him through the small of your back before grabbing the shaft of his semi-hard cock and pushing it back in with ease. You dreamily sigh as you place kisses against his lips. Both of stay still, feeling your inner walls pulse against his slowly hardening cock, both riddled with sensitivity.

"I love you too." Your reply to his declaration after a few moments of silence. You trace his features with your finger as he softly smiles at you returning his affection. Tears flow freely down your faces as you kiss once more. It's you who pulls back first.

"I'm here with you."

"As am I, my little dove."

A/N: smut is done best at 3 am. hope yall enjoyed this :D you and ominis fucked each other so hard bc yall needed to vent <3

[spideystevie]

💘 “it’s not much, but i got you this.” with stevie but friends to lovers vibes 🤭🤭 maybe u got stood up on a valentines date or smth

ruby your brain is sooooo…… the friends to lovers vibe here KILLS me! the way i was giving myself the butterflies writing this…it’s bad for me out here. mutual pining...idiots in love....love being in the little things.... yeah <3 [1.1k] | join the party!

Getting stood up sucked but something about it being Valentine’s Day rubbed just a little bit more salt into the wound. You’re not sure how many more sympathetic, pitying looks you can take. 

“Sweetie, if you’re not gonna order we’re gonna have to ask you to give up the table,” your waitress says, that same sad smile on her face. Her eyes are kind and you know she means well but you can’t handle any more sympathy tonight. You smile at her tightly. 

“Okay,” you relent, pushing your chair out. You pull out a few spare dollar bills you had in your purse and leave them on the table before leaving. When you’re outside and pulling your jacket around yourself to help against the wind, you’re wishing you asked to use their phone.

There’s a payphone maybe a block away you think and you start your trek to it, feeling more angry than anything else now. Stupid Bobby Skeeter, leaving you stranded like that. You scoff to yourself, kicking a pebble with the toe of your boot. 

When you get to the payphone and punch in Steve’s number, you hardly expect him to answer on the first ring.

“Steve?” he responds with your name and before he can get far, you cut him off. “I’m at the payphone off Cherry and Main.” You can hear him shuffling on the other line, hear the jingling of his keys getting snatched off the counter. “Bobby didn’t….”

“I’m on my way,” is all he says and then he hangs up. You stand with the phone to your ear listening to the dial tone for a second before setting it back on the receiver. 

Steve’s headlights flash over where you’re sitting on the curb when he pulls up not even ten minutes later. It should’ve taken him longer but you don’t dare question it. You rise to your feet as Steve gets out of his car and rounds it to give you a hug. 

You hadn’t been all that sad before if you had to be honest with yourself but feeling Steve’s arms around you, squeezing you tight breaks some kind of dam behind your eyes. The first tear slips down your cheek as you wrap your arms tighter around Steve’s neck and hide your face against his collarbone. 

He rubs a hand up your back and lets you hold on for as long as you need in the shine of his headlights. The car is still running behind you two and you can faintly hear a Bruce Springsteen song playing over his stereo. After the song ends, Steve speaks up. 

“Are you hungry?”

You pull your head back with a small, wet laugh and nod. You wipe at your eyes with the sleeve of your jacket, taking a step back. It’s only then does Steve realize how pretty you look, done up for a date that didn’t deserve you. “Starving.”

He takes you to a small diner off Fifth Street on the edge of town and you fill yourselves on greasy cheeseburgers and salty french fries and Steve insists on the two of you getting milkshakes. He makes you laugh and you almost forget all about your failed date.

Afterwards, he takes you home. You sit in his car in front of your house for a minute. In the silence, it’s easy to feel sad and sorry for yourself again. You bite back the prick of tears at the corner of your eyes. 

“I wasn’t even sad at first,” you say, feeling like you need to explain yourself. Steve looks at you, eyebrows slightly furrowed. “At first, I was pissed and I spent the whole walk to the payphone cursing his entire existence. And then…I don’t know,” you scrunch your nose and wipe at your eyes. “I guess it was just a way for me to hide how much it hurt me, you know?”

Steve frowns, eyes scanning over you. He grabs your hand and squeezes it three times, like an apology he doesn’t need to give and a way of letting you know he’s there and he cares. 

“Barry’s an idiot,” he says, purposely getting his name wrong because he knows it’ll make you smile. You roll your eyes. 

“Bobby.”

“Eh,” he shrugs. “Same syllables.”

You let out a soft laugh, looking down at your hands in your lap. 

“I, um. I’ve got something for you,” he says, letting go of your hand and leaning across you to open the glovebox. He pulls out a small wrapped gift and your eyes track it, your heart slowly starting to inflate. He holds it out to you. 

“It’s not much..” you look at Steve and his heart chips away in his chest from how sad your eyes look. “But I got you this.”

You sniffle and wipe your nose with the sleeve of your jacket. You take the wrapped gift from his hands, shifting against the passenger’s seat of the car. 

“You got me a Valentine’s gift?” you ask, voice sounding small. Steve’s cheeks start to warm, turning a light shade of pink that he prays doesn’t show in the dark. His eyes meet yours and he nods, a tight lipped smile on his face. 

“‘Course. Open it,” he nods towards it and you look down at the gift in your lap. You glance back at him once, a tiny smile starting to lift your cheeks. The wrapping is an old brown paper bag but it’s wrapped nice and neat like he took his time with it. (He did.)

You pick at a corner of it and slowly peel back the paper. It doesn’t take you long to uncover his gift to you. It’s a new cassette for your walkman, the one you’d been eyeing lately. The one you’re not even sure you’ve mentioned but one time offhandedly. You think you might start crying again.

“Oh..Steve,” you utter his name so softly, like it’s something delicate and fragile. You swallow, tracing along the album cover art. He follows the movement of your hands with his eyes and then looks back up at your face, just as you’ve wiped away a new set of tears. 

“Oh god...do you..is it..” he can’t get his words out and when you look at him with a beaming smile, eyes teary, he’s truly rendered speechless. 

“It’s perfect. I love it,” I love you, you want to say but you bite your tongue. Instead, you lean over and press a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you, Stevie.”

He blinks, cheeks burning furiously now. He smiles at you and nods once. 

“Anything for you.”

You have to bite on your lip to contain your grin.