#all of this is refuted by just reading the manga

[sinnbaddie]

u dumb asl if u think geto couldn't have been saved had the people around him noticed his mental health declining during that year between the riko incident and his breakdown and helped with his trauma. ur dumb asl too if u think he'd be strictly opposed to having children especially his nurturing and caring younger self. and ur beyond dumb if u think he didn't gaf about his adopted daughters whom he loved with all his might. ijbol

Wrong about me being dumb asf three times actually :)

1. The whole point of Geto killing his village and breaking away from Gojo is because he chose to do this for his ideals. He didn’t just wake up and decided to kill people, he was already a person who could do that, he was just given information (from Yuki) that he already subconsciously knew. It’s also a vital lesson for Gojo to realize you can’t save people who don’t want to be saved. Geto willingly did all of this and didn’t bat an eye, he knew what he was doing and he did it with pleasure. There was no changing his mind = no saving him.

2. Never said he’d be strictly opposed to it, but I am tired of the fandom constantly mischaracterizing him into making him only this “nurturing and kind person”. Because he’s not. Was he nice? Absolutely. But Geto’s dynamic with Gojo would not work as well if he was such a caring and nurturing person. He has many screws loose, which is why he could keep up with Gojo so well - he had many loose as well. To be a surviving jujutsu sorcerer you have to be incredibly unhinged.

3. He didn’t love these kids with all his might really. He may have cared for them in his own twisted way, but if he saw them be killed by Sukuna he would not be nearly as angry as you may think. The fact is, he saved those girls not out of the goodness of his own heart but because he snapped from how horrible non jujutsu sorcerers are. Nanako and Mimiko saw him as a savior. To them, he could do no wrong, it was an incredibly unhealthy servitude. They were unfortunately, still people he could dispose of if it truly came to that. In his lifetime it didn’t, but he never taught them anything other than serving him, they were broken children in need of genuine love and support. All Geto taught them was that killing was right. He was not a “good father” nor did he love these girls as his own children. He’s a genocidal racist, I promise you he wasn’t reading them bedtime stories and making sandwiches for their lunch.

[witchywcmans]

FORBIDDEN FRUIT. | LAIOS TOUDEN

synopsis ━━ laios can't seem to get enough after he first tastes you. but the lines in your friendship are beginning to blur. it's only when your party happens upon your ex-lover in the dungeon that laios realizes what he should've communicated all along. (laios x f!reader.)

content warnings ━━ cunnilingus, praise, size kink, jealousy, classic missionary, unprotected sex, creampie, mutual pining/confession, laios and reader are not good with communication (but they work it out v well), laios is self concious but reader is so kind to him !!, monster facts as dirty talk. nsfw (minors + ageless blogs dni).

word count ━━ 4.8k

song inspiration ━━ awkward, sza / cherry, lana del rey / hunger, florence + the machine

author's note ━━ TECHNICALLY, this could be a part 2 to please, eat, so I'm just going to link as a part 2. you don't have to read please, eat before this, but if you like laios then obvi you should read it anyway!! I'm SO SORRY it took me so long to post another laios x reader 😭 I was trying to finish the manga before I wrote something else dungeon meshi-related, but life gets the way. oh well. also, this might be controversial, but in this fic I’m refuting the “laios is a virgin” allegations. SUE ME. I simply don’t believe he’s been adventuring so long and hasn’t been with anyone, that is crazzzy to me !! but that's just me 🤗 we all have our fave headcanons! my goal when I finish the manga is to write something for laios at the end of the story hehe. I hope you guys enjoy part 2! this one-shot is dedicated to @satoogojos 🫶

🪽 part i: PLEASE, EAT. / part ii: FORBIDDEN FRUIT. / part iii: TOO SWEET.

Catching feelings for your friend was truly a fickle thing. But you guessed it was bound to happen with what you and Laios were doing behind everyone’s back. Each night, after your party tucked themselves in their bedrolls, Laios would so delicately lace your arm through his and you two would find a private area … before he completely buried his face between your thighs.

He was fixated on the way you tasted, the way he could get you to cum so easily on his tongue. You were the only dessert he wanted after every dinner. Some nights, he would have you writhing from overstimulation, but he just wanted more of you – so much more.

It was a little confusing, though, how he didn’t ask for anything in return. Laios seemed to grind against the cold, dungeon floor as his tongue lapped at your essence, sometimes cumming in his pants and moaning between your legs. Or he would politely excuse himself after he was done, taking care of himself as you cleaned yourself up. You didn’t quite understand it, and maybe neither did he. You both were just too awkward to broach the subject.

The incident with the sea serpent had changed your friendship forever. Not only did Laios save you from becoming one, but the intimacy you both now shared seemed to open you up more. You found yourself divulging more secrets to him, leaning on him when you needed someone, even being more impartial to Senshi’s monster meals. And you liked the way he smiled, how he looked at you. You liked how fearless he was. You liked how protective he was over the party, especially you. You … really liked him. Far more than a crush. In fact, you wished you could go back in time and just have a crush. But your feelings for him became deeper as you crept lower and lower into the dungeon together. Your goal was still to come out of this dungeon alive, but now … you hoped that you would make it out alive together.

What a foolish girl you had become.

You tried to remain focused on the path ahead of you, but you were clearly lost in thought today. The party had reached floor 6, which meant you were closer and closer to the deepest part of the dungeon and hopefully rescuing Laios’ sister, Falin. The last thing you expected to see on floor 6 were other adventurers, let alone your ex.

You were hesitant to call him an ex, since you two had never really been anything but a warm body in each other’s beds while living on the surface. But when your bodies collided and your eyes met his, you realized why you had taken a liking to him in the first place. He had been a butcher’s son, handy with an axe, and you had liked his big, strong hands. You almost fell right into him from the slippery dungeon floor, but those strong hands seemed to catch you like you were made of air. “It’s you,” he chuckled, setting you up straight and tucking a stray hair behind your ear. “Look at you … feels like it was just yesterday when we were on the surface, huh?”

Marcille looked like she didn’t want anything to do with your ex and his party, but Senshi was very kind to offer them food, if they needed it. Chilchuck seemed neutral, and Laios … you still couldn’t read Laios as easily as the rest of the party. He watched your ex like a hawk, standing behind you as if to protect you. Your ex’s hands were big, sure, but Laios was tall, his shoulders wide and intimidating even without the armor. Laios narrowed his eyes slightly whenever he saw your ex’s gaze roam over you, like he was undressing you with his eyes. And you weren’t sure if you caught it – it only lasted a second – but did Laios clench his hands into fists?

There wasn’t enough time in the world to dwell on it. Especially when you had ghosts seemingly pulling you into another area of the dungeon and waking up on a dirt path, a beautiful golden castle mounted ahead of you. Your party was initially confused, walking into the village and seeing monsters living harmoniously with humans. After becoming acquainted with the village, you and your friends were offered a warm, delicious meal with Yaad, the lord of the Golden Country. After Yaad explained the history of this village, you all were each given rooms to rest in for the night. The beds were small and cold, but far better than a bedroll.

You were used to Laios initiating with you every night, but by the time everyone went to sleep, he still didn’t call upon you. So you stood from your bed, adjusting the nightgown given to you, and walked across the hall to where Laios’ room was. You knocked on his door, and you heard the slip of a sword into a sheath behind the thin wood. He had been inspecting Kensuke for some reason, probably mulling over Yaad’s words. When he opened the door, he was dressed in loose pants and a linen shirt, droplets running down his neck. He must’ve just bathed. You couldn’t stop yourself from digging your nails into your palm.

“Can I come in?” You asked in a hushed voice, and he moved out of the way for you to step inside.

His room looked exactly like yours, but the sheets were ruffled from lack of sleep. Laios walked around you and sat on the edge of the bed, leaving you more confused than ever. You played with your hands as you stared at him, contemplating. “Is something wrong, Laios?” You inquired, stepping closer to him. “You’ve been acting weird even before we got here.”

His brow furrowed for a moment. “How do you figure?”

“Well, you …” Your tongue clicked. “You didn’t come to find me after everyone went to bed.”

He seemed to concede, shoulders dipping at your answer. Shifting on the mattress, he propped himself up against his pillows and moved Kensuke to lean against the wall. His silence was even more perplexing. This had to be the longest time Laios went without talking. He was a blabbermouth.

“I don’t understand,” you continued, walking over and sitting on the end of his bed. “Are you … are you angry with me?”

“No, no,” Laios was quick to reply, “I’m not angry with you. I’m just …”

You raised a brow, eager to hear his answer.

“That man you recognized. On floor 6,” he finally said, his fists clenching again at the memory. “I didn’t … I didn’t like the way he looked at you. And his tone. It was disrespectful to you. Unless I’m reading this all wrong.”

You were taken aback by his honesty. So he had been bothered by your ex. “Oh,” you replied, “well … me and him, we do have history, Laios. But it’s in the past.”

“I could tell.” He was picking at his nails now, any excuse not to meet your eyes. “Everyone has a life before the dungeon. It’s not about the past. I just … I didn’t like him. Or how he looked at you like … like he still wanted you. Or something.”

“Or something,” you repeated, nodding your head. A slow smile crept onto your lips at the realization. “Laios, are you jealous?”

His head jolted up, his eyes glued to his hands, searching for something unknown. Realization washed over his face, as if he hadn’t even considered this possibility. “Oh, gods,” he pinched the bridge of his nose. “This whole day I’ve been trying to reconcile with what I’m feeling and I knew I wasn’t mad at you – maybe just mad at the circumstances – and none of it made sense, but now …” He finally met your eyes, a chuckle slipping past his lips. “I was just jealous. How did I not realize?”

“Maybe because we didn’t talk about it,” you offered in a low voice, reaching out and lacing your fingers with his. A jolt of electricity ran through your fingertips and all the way up your arm. You wished you could hide your reaction, but it was clear as day, making Laios shift in his spot. “Laios, we should talk –”

“You’re not leaving the party, are you?” His grip on your fingers went tight, and he didn’t even realize it.

“No,” you laughed, scooting closer and running your free hand over his face. His cheeks flushed instantly when you touched him. “I think … we should talk about what’s happening between us.”

Laios’ gaze went narrow as he processed your words. “Oh,” he said blankly, and then his eyes went wide. “Oh.”

“I just … because we’ve been doing this every night … it’s hard not to feel …” You sighed, unable to get the words right. But he seemed to understand, quick-witted as ever, squeezing your hand in encouragement. And then he smiled at you, all dopey and kind, and your heart began to pound. “I can’t help but think that the lines are being blurred between us. My feelings for you are … much deeper than what they were initially. And if you don’t feel the same way, that’s okay. I needed you to know. I’m sorry if this hurts … whatever our relationship is.”

He was still smiling, his other hand gripping your waist, pulling you even closer. “Well, I think –”

“And now I can’t help but wonder if maybe – just maybe – you feel the same way,” you started rambling, terrified to know how he was going to reply. “Because why would you feel jealous if you didn’t … I shouldn’t make assumptions. But I still wondered. And I can’t stop talking. Again, I don’t want this to ruin anything and I’m sorry if it does. My ex doesn’t mean anything to me anymore and he won’t ever again –”

Out of nowhere, Laios used his upper body strength to flip you onto your back, pinning you to the bed. Now your cheeks were flushed, completely caught off guard by the action. He sat in between your legs, his fingers just brushing over your waist, as he said, “I do. Feel the same. I feel like I’m the one who could’ve ruined this because I didn’t realize it sooner.”

You gave him a sad smile, reaching up to cup his chin. “You couldn’t ruin anything.”

He leaned into your palm when your hand moved to his cheek, humming under his breath. He then leaned down, his body just barely pressing against yours, as if he craved your body heat. Like a moth to a flame.

“Can we not talk about your ex ever again?” He muttered, his hands running up and down your sides. “Because when I saw him today, all I could think about was …” He stopped himself abruptly.

“What?” Your curiosity peaked.

“I’m going to sound like a jealous brute,” he sighed dramatically, nose brushing against yours as his hands moved higher, thumbs grazing over the underside of your breasts. The material of your nightgown was so thin that your peaked nipples were already visible. “I just … couldn’t stop thinking about all the times I’ve tasted you that he hasn’t. I wondered if he knew exactly how you liked it, which places made those funny sounds come out of your mouth. And then, I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and all I wanted this whole day was to get you alone.”

You shuddered when his thumb brushed over one of your taut nipples, making your heel run down the back of his leg. His words alone made tingles run down your spine, but the second his hands were on you, you were properly soaked. The both of you lay there for a moment: him on top of you, nuzzling your nose, rolling his fingers over your nipples through your nightgown, eliciting breath hitches from your lips.

It was so slow, so patient, so good, but had you wanting more. And you couldn’t stop the words coming out when you blurted, “I want to have sex.”

He paused, opening his eyes for a moment, making sure he heard you properly.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” you said quickly, feeling awkward. But why were you so shy all of a sudden? It’s not like he didn’t have his tongue deep inside your pussy every night. Maybe it was because there was a question still lying underneath the surface. “Why ... why don’t you want me to help you finish after you eat me out? Sometimes you just … walk away to take care of yourself.”

Laios’ face went bright red, and then he buried his face in your neck. “I’m so embarrassed.”

Your hand pushed back his cropped, blonde hair, trying to soothe his racing heart. “Why are you embarrassed?”

“Because it’s … it’s big,” he sighed and lifted his head. “There. I said it. It’s just big. And the last person who saw it made me feel super self-conscious about it.”

You couldn’t help but snort. “You’re embarrassed because you have a big dick?”

His pretty golden eyes were serious, but it looked like he wanted to laugh with you. “Please, don’t make it sound trivial.”

“It’s not trivial, it’s just …” You went to cup both his cheeks. The way he looked at you was unlike anything you ever experienced. You wondered why it took you so long to realize he felt the same. “I would never make you feel self-conscious about anything. I like everything about you, Laios.”

Your words had him melting, leaning back down into you and kissing you slowly. It was only when his tongue slipped into your mouth that his hand snaked down between your legs, just cupping your soaked entrance, the one thing he loved to eat more cheesecake. Realizing that you weren’t wearing any underwear had him reeling. “Gods …” He moaned into the kiss, his fingers simply running down your soaked folds.

As his lips broke away from yours, you asked in a tone as sweet as barometz, “Do you want to have sex, Laios?”

“Yes,” he replied, voice desperate. “Yes, please.”

Your hands went to the hem of his loose, linen shirt, breaking your kiss again to lift it over his head. For the first time, you were able to see what he looked like underneath all the armor. His shoulders were wide-set, his torso soft while also being oddly defined. Most tall-men your party encountered thought Laios was on the slender side, not believing how strong he was. But once your eyes beheld his biceps, you knew how wrong they all were. He was built and muscular and – gods, you could admire him for hours.

Laios stopped your hands from going any further, a pleading look in his eyes. He pushed your nightgown up and bunched it at the waist. “Can I taste you first?”

You nodded quickly, already intoxicated by the way he kissed you, the way he smiled at you, all eager and excited to bury his face in your pussy. It didn’t take him long; he was lightning fast, moving down your body and lifting your legs on his shoulders so he could eat you out easier. His tongue dove into your folds immediately, and he groaned at the first taste. You were acutely more aware every night that he could do this for hours, just lapping at you lazily, bringing you to orgasm over and over again. No monster compared to the way you tasted.

His nose bumped your clit as he tongued your leaking hole, practically whimpering at every drop of your wetness that reached his mouth. Large, calloused hands wrapped around your thighs, making sure they didn’t close and digging into your flesh. Your own hands fisted into the sheets, your ass lifted off the bed, but you could still grind your hips against his face. Soft whines left your lips, nothing compared to the groans Laios was making as he ate you like he didn’t have a three-course meal just an hour ago. You almost wondered if you should tell him to quiet down, afraid of the others hearing, but you were too lost in the pleasure to care.

It was clear to you the closer you got to reaching your peak that Laios wasn’t keen on stopping. And as much as you truly wanted to cum all over his tongue, you thought it was important that you both have this new experience together. It took you a few seconds to finally gather the courage to say something, his tongue feeling too good as he swirled it around your sensitive clit. “Laios,” you called, and then a little louder, “Laios.”

He lifted his head, your juices dripping down his chin. A primal urge made him want to dive back into you, but he controlled himself. His tongue licked at your essence around his mouth, and you shuddered at the sight.

“I want you inside me,” you whispered. “Is that okay?”

“Yes, yes,” he muttered hoarsely, placing your legs so delicately back on the bed, as if they were made of glass. “Of course.” He so desperately wanted to taste you again, but he was even more excited for this, to finally feel something other than his hand wrapped around his cock. You were the first person he ever tasted, but it had been quite a while since he was truly intimate with someone, to slide into someone and feel them clench around him.

As you tugged off your nightgown, Laios began to work at the ties of his pants. But his hands stopped as they came undone, glancing up at you with hesitation. You looked so pretty sitting in the middle of his bed, waiting for him, naked and vulnerable. He felt silly for feeling so self-conscious, especially when you were so beautiful like this.

“Laios,” you cooed, caressing his arm, “there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. And if you don’t want to, then we can stop.”

He almost choked on a laugh. “Trust me,” he replied, “I want to.”

After another beat of stalling, Laios finally stepped out of his bottoms and blushed pink from ear to ear. His cock was … well, it certainly was big. You sympathized with him; if anyone told you something about your body during sex, you would focus on that forever. But there was nothing for him to be embarrassed about. Truthfully, most males would kill to have what he did. His cock was thick and long, a few veins trailing down the shaft, curving up at his pretty red tip that was dripping with precum. You got even more wet just from staring at it, wondering what he would finally feel like inside of you. 

Your mouth opened to say something, anything to make him feel better, but he was already talking: “I need a distraction so I don’t think about you staring at it.” He crawled back onto the bed and between your thighs, immediately pressing his lips to yours. You could taste yourself still on his mouth, and your arms wound around his shoulders instantly. His teeth tugged at your bottom lip, and he asked, “Can I just … ramble about monster facts for a minute?”

You blinked, not expecting that. Laios released your lower lip and sighed, clearly still nervous. “It’ll help me get over this feeling. I swear. Or if you want to stop this, we can. I’ll … I’ll understand –”

“Laios,” you huffed, your mouth pulling back into a sweet smile, “I want you to do whatever makes you feel comfortable.”

“Oh, thank the gods,” he muttered, nuzzling his face back into your neck, placing sloppy kisses. “Did you know that … that harpies almost exclusively have the head of a female human and it is unknown if male harpies exist?”

His voice was muffled against your neck, but you could tell he was desperate and aching. You felt his hard length against your stomach, smearing precum on the exposed skin. “Really?” You breathed out, trying to engage with him but completely failing when he licked a stripe up your neck. A moan escaped your lips.

“There’s also … there’s, uh …” He was struggling to talk now, grasping his cock and giving it a few quick pumps before teasing the head against your dripping wet folds. Your legs instinctively opened wider for him, hoping to whatever gods were out there that you could take his cock. “There also exists a seabird variant of harpies called … called, Sirens. Their wings and  … their – their tail look like a seagull’s.”

You could hardly breathe as you asked, “What else, Laios?”

He began to push inside you slowly, letting you adjust with each inch. “Okay, okay … uh … bicorns … bicorns hate – oh, fuck.” Just the feeling of your tight warmth wrapped around his cock had him biting into your shoulder, like you were the forbidden fruit. He could hardly string together a word, could hardly think, as he sank deeper and deeper into you, his whole body shaking. “Bicorns hate … hate virtue. They prefer – shit – immorality. It is believed that … doing all seven deadly sins will … will allow an individual to approach a bicorn – fuck. Fuck. It feels –”

When he was finally buried to the hilt, all he could do was breathe into your neck. You whined, locking your legs around his waist. The stretch was unbelievable; your walls gripped him like a vice. But it was even better than you could’ve imagined. If you had thought originally that the night would go this way, you would’ve at least brushed your hair. Laios didn’t care though, inhaling the flowery scent as he nosed your pretty strands. You couldn’t even comprehend – whether it be from the stretch of his thick cock inside you or the overwhelming amount of butterflies in your stomach – how you were so lucky to have found him.

Not to mention, you felt even luckier that this wasn’t happening on a cold dungeon floor.

With one hand carding into his hair, you chuckled under your breath, “Had enough of reciting monster facts?”

“Mmhmm …” He groaned, unable to form a sentence. You finally felt him pull back before pushing into you in one fast, deep thrust, making you shiver. Your body was hardly used to feeling this full, but you wanted him so badly that it was humiliating, a pink blush tinting your nose. “You feel so good,” he muttered.

You pulled on his hair, and his head lifted from your neck. His lips were swollen from kissing you. Yours probably looked the same. But that didn’t matter right now as he held your gaze and began thrusting into you a little faster. His eyes were the color of melted gold, flecked with amber and brown, and you felt like you could stare into them forever while he fucked you. Laios lifted one of your legs higher on his waist, but his other hand stayed around your middle, keeping you nestled against him.

“Laios,” you whimpered, feeling him nudge your clit with each roll of his hips. Despite his desperation, his pace was tender and relaxed, making sure you were adjusting to his size. He knew he was big – clearly, it was something he’d been self-conscious about for a while – but the way you were looking at him right now … he’d never felt more at ease, more special. This was all he ever wanted: to be close to someone like this, to find intimacy with someone he had true feelings for. All the other times had been stepping stones, leading to this moment with you, where your warmth enveloped him so nicely and your gaze made him want to cum on the spot.

His hips began to move a little faster, pushing even deeper inside you, as his mouth swallowed your moans in a hungry kiss. Face going hot, you trembled, and his cock pulsed inside you with each pass. Your nails dragged down his shoulder blades, leaving marks for him to examine later, like a predator with its prey. Goosebumps raised on his skin, feeling himself get closer … and closer … and closer. If you kept digging your nails into him like that, he’d surely lose his grasp on reality. But you just felt so good, so warm, and he craved you. Craved you like you were his last meal.

“Laios,” you croaked out when his lips broke from yours, “Laios, are you close?”

He could hardly say anything else but, “Mm …” 

You thought you could get there by now from his tongue teasing you earlier, but you needed a little more friction. Bumping against your clit wasn’t enough. “Okay, okay,” you rambled, reaching down between your legs to touch yourself. “Just hold off for another minute. I’ll get there.”

Laios opened his eyes, realizing what you were doing, immediately envious of your own hand. “No, let me,” he murmured, voice like honey, and found your clit easily. “Then I can taste you on my fingers after.” His excitement made you laugh, which brought a smile to his own lips.

He shifted a little, pulling back so only his tip rested inside you, and fucked back into you at a different angle, one that brushed against your special spot. The stimulation of both your clit and g-spot had your back arching, whimpers slipping out of your lips like a chant.

“Is … this … better?” He asked, panting after each word.

Your voice was strained when you answered, “Y—Yes.”

His balls slapped against the underside of your ass, and he knew how close he was, but all he cared about at this moment was cumming together. He needed to see that look on your face when you reached your peak. He only got to see it a few times, when he lifted his eyes while tasting you, watching the way your lips parted and sweat ran down your forehead.

His fingers rubbed tight circles on your aching clit – knowing exactly what you liked – and you were close. So, so close already. Laios had a way of touching you that felt inquisitive, yet effortless. Like he wanted to learn which spots made you moan the loudest, while also already knowing without even touching you. You grew to like him not just because of his dopey grin, his protectiveness, or his positivity, but also for the way he was willing to learn with you, the way he needed you. And right now, he needed you to cum more than anything.

Tension coiled in your lower abdomen, making you gasp out, “Laios – fuck – Laios, I’m gonna –”

“I know, I know,” he rasped. His pace was nearing on brutal, his whole body shaking as he held off his release for you. “Together. We’ll – together.”

And then, your muscles tighten. You clenched around his cock, and it only took one more thrust against your g-spot to have you falling apart underneath him. You put a hand over your mouth as you cried out, careful of the rest of the party hearing. Your eyes rolled back, his fingers stroking your clit through it, and it all just felt too, too good. Your orgasm went on forever, wave after wave of pleasure crashing over you. As your walls spasmed around his cock, he groaned low, finally spilling into you. His hips stuttered. His mouth gasped for air against your lips, as he felt a ripple of relief from emptying himself inside you. He bit into your shoulder again to muffle his own noises. Your pussy convulsed, milking every last drop, and you were pretty sure you saw stars.

Once the aftershocks hit you both, he slumped against you, breathing in the scent of your hair again. Your fingers traced small circles onto his back muscles, your chest rising and falling with the fast beat of your heart. When his cock went soft inside you, his fingers finally left your clit and he brought them to his mouth. Your eyes were half-lidded as you watched him wrap his lips around his fingers and suck the juices off, moaning at the taste. He looked like an intricate painting; you couldn’t help but admire the sight.

His fingers left his mouth with a wet pop, and he whispered in a voice so soft you almost didn’t hear him, “You just taste so, so good.”

Laios kissed you again, slow and full of affection. You didn’t even care that he was still inside you; you could stay like this forever, pressed into his warm skin. Gods, you liked him so much that you immediately whimpered as his tongue slid into your mouth, and when he shuddered at your fingers on his back … you couldn’t believe you once questioned if he returned your feelings. You had both been so oblivious.

His mouth moved away from yours and he cupped your cheek. He took a moment to memorize the dusting of red across your face, the way your eyes hardly opened after sex, and then said, “Are you hungry? I think we both need a snack. It’s been a long night already.”

You giggled. “You had me at hungry.”

[yoichiris]

better than letting go | nagi seishiro x reader

✩ accidental sugar daddy nagi ✩ pro-player!nagi, roommates au, angst to fluff, heavy pining, miscommunication

"just go live with nagi," reo says offhandedly, "if you clean up after him, he'll let you stay there forever."

you open your mouth to refute the suggestion, because reo knows how you feel about nagi, knows you couldn't possibly stay in an enclosed space with him hours on day on end without jumping him... but before you do, nagi himself interrupts.

"i'm okay with that," he replies in his usual laid-back voice.

you glare at him because you think he sounds more excited about the cleaning part.

"you're going to be homeless," reo shrugs, "why not?"

you return your glare at reo, "why can't you just house me in one of your billion-dollar properties."

"then i'd have to ask my old man for permission," he waves you off like the asshole he is, "no thanks."

"what's wrong with living with me?" nagi wonders, and you hate him for acting like he wants to live with you so badly.

"look, just clean nagi's dirty underwear for the next year while you finish your degree and you won't have to worry about a thing," reo explains, as if there aren't other factors like your five-year infatuation with nagi, and maybe the fact that nagi lives like he doesn't know what a vacuum does.

you sigh, thinking about the end of your lease and the astronomical increase in rent incoming, and how much you don't want to work your stupid part-time job, and give in.

of course it's not that bad. all you had to do was keep your feelings to yourself.

"nagi," you hiss, "nagi, wake up, you're going to be late!"

he only stirs, covers tucked under his chin, as if he's hiding from you. you inch the door wider, stepping into his room hesitantly. he doesn't even make a move.

"nagi," you whine, crouching at the side of his bed.

he makes a sound of acknowledgment but keeps his eyes closed, so you sit cross-legged on the floor, watching his sleeping form. he's so cute like this, you think, yearning.

it's been a week since you moved in with nagi. in a lot of ways, he's exactly what you thought he would be like in private: he's rarely home, and when he is, he's quiet.

you thought he would spend more time in his room, under the covers, but you realize quickly he's furnished his couch with the coziest throw and likes to curl under there when he is home.

it makes your heart warm when you come home to see nagi, his toes sticking out from underneath the blanket, waiting for you to eat dinner.

"...what time is it?" you hear him mumble.

your heart skips a beat when he opens his eyes, groggy with sleep, and touches your arm. you sigh shakily.

"too late," you smile softly at him, "i'll prep your pre-workout so you can take it with you, okay?"

"thanks," he tells you, his voice raspy.

he smiles back at you and reaches out, poking you in the forehead. when you feel his fingers touch your skin, you think you'll drop dead right there.

"are you gonna move out after you graduate?" reo asks, nine months into your arrangement.

you've been avoiding even thinking about it. you're busy with graduation, you justify to yourself, you don't have time to look for a new place yet.

"hm?" you hum innocently, "i dunno. haven't had time to think about it."

"nagi asked me 'bout it," he mentions casually, and you freeze. is he counting the days down until you leave?

you and nagi have settled into a daily routine: you wake him up, he goes to practice, you study after class, and when he comes back late at night, he hangs out with you for an hour before he has to sleep. mostly, you and nagi sit on either end of the couch, sharing the cozy throw, and read manga.

it's lulled you into a false sense of security, you think.

"oh," is all you manage to say. maybe he finds you bothersome? maybe he wants his own space back?

reo hits you over the head, lightly. "what's that face for? it's been going good living with nagi, right?"

and it was. it was everything you had dreamed of, and it shocked you how well you got along with nagi. you think of how, in early mornings when both of you (mostly you) are rushing out the door, bumping hips in the kitchen, even then it seems like you were working together.

"yep," you reply, sipping your iced coffee, "too good."

reo takes a bite of his food, and suggests, "maybe you two should just keep living together. you can split rent or something."

"can't rely on nagi forever," you protest.

"why not?" he says, just like he did when he had first suggested this whole thing, "isn't that what you want?"

you kick him under the table, angry that he was bringing your feelings up now. yes, you want to scream, it is. but nothing has changed between you and nagi, nothing at all.

you're always trying to keep your feelings in check: when he peers over your shoulder as you're cooking, the warmth of his body hot asgainst yours. or how adorable he looks when he comes out of the shower, his shaggy hair falling over his eyes, his face shiny. those are the times your feelings want to burst.

"just talk to nagi about it," reo nudges. you're not sure if he's talking about the housing or the feelings.

you're curled up with nagi on the couch when you muster the courage to say anything. your legs are touching his under the blanket, and you feel as if that might connect you to him.

there's a month left until you graduate, which is absolutely not enough time for you to find a place to live, but you were scared. you hear the victory sounds of nagi's mobile game, so you decide now's better than never.

"so," you start, and his gaze drifts over to you, "i haven't really found a new place to live yet."

it's quiet. "s'okay," nagi mumbles, not even looking up from his phone, "you can move out whenever."

well, at least that answers your question on whether or not he wants you to move out. at least he wasn't pushing you out the door, you tell yourself.

you don't know what else to say. do you want me to leave so badly? you want to ask. can't i stay with you? you think, desperate. but those words don't leave your mouth.

"are you coming to my graduation?" you ask lightly, and regret it when you realize that you've opened yourself up again.

he shrugs. "dunno my prac schedule yet, but reo's going right?" he replies, as if reo could replace him.

you feel cold despite the blanket, and sink deeper into the couch, feeling drained. from the corner of your eye, you see nagi tapping away at his phone, signaling to you that he's still deep in his game. you take your legs away, knowing he wouldn't even notice.

"yep," you say and awkwardly crawl out of your warm spot on the couch. "i'm gonna go to bed first, nagi."

"g'night," he replies, finally looking up as you pass him with your head bowed. he watches you walk back to your room, and doesn't take his eyes off of you until you close the door behind you.

you eventually begged reo to find you an empty unit in one of his father's rental properties.

he had been insistent you just talk to nagi, as if he knew something you didn't, but you had to explain that you did, and nagi had no objections to you moving out, and you weren't going to wait until he shoved you out the door to move on.

it has been so awkward since that small conversation you'd had with nagi. maybe it was you, feeling out of place, like you had reached a point of no return.

waking him up in the mornings were now rushed, gently pushing him awake and scurrying off before he was fully awake. leaving his pre-workout on the counter instead of handing it to him. sitting at the kitchen table under the guise of studying instead of curling up on the couch with him.

it's not that he'd changed, you knew, it's that you couldn't keep playing pretend with your feelings anymore.

you hear the front door click as nagi walks into the apartment.

"hey," he says, pushing open the door to your room, "i'm home."

you turn from your position at the front of your closet, where you were just about to take out your suitcase. "oh, hey," you reply lamely, "welcome home."

he hovers, something he's never really done, as if he knows you have something to say, as if he had something to say. the words were stuck in your throat.

"reo told me you're moving out," nagi finally tells you.

traitor, you curse at reo. "uh, yeah," you smile tightly, "i didn't want to keep bothering you, so..."

"you're not bothering me," he replies, maybe a little too quickly, but you don't notice.

there's another silence. what else can you say?

"you don't have to leave," nagi continues, "i don't mind if you stay here."

but do you want me to stay? you want to ask. the way he says it so casually, as if it didn't matter whether you stayed or not, only solidified your decision to be away from him. at least then you could just be his friend without delusions of sharing a life with him so intimately.

"nah," you try to keep your voice steady, "it's probably better this way."

"i like living with you, though," nagi shuffles his hair uncomfortably as he says it.

you laugh, maybe a little bitterly, "because i cook and clean for you?"

"no," he says quickly, looking flustered, "no, i just like it when you're here."

but why? you want to scream. your heart pounds, because you feel like you're close to something, but at the same time it feels so far. sometimes you're convinced that he knows about your feelings, that sometimes you two are talking about them even though the topic is unrelated.

"it was nice," you settle on saying, as if it wasn't life changing, "but i can afford living on my own now."

"i don't want you to leave," nagi almost sounds like he's whining, and your heart skips another beat.

"why not?" you say, frustrated, breathless, "we can't just keep living together forever."

"what if i want to?" he says, and you feel like the conversation has become out of control.

your mind is racing. what is happening right now, you try to breathe through your nose. what is he talking about right now, you try to ask yourself.

"nagi—" you stop yourself, trying to get a grip, "what are you saying?"

you're looking at him now and you're surprised by the determination in his eyes. it's what he looks like when he's really focused, like he is when he plays soccer.

"i want to live with you forever," he declares, sounding defiant, as if that wasn't what you wanted.

but you're not sure what it means. you only know that five years is a long time to be holding onto your feelings.

"i don't understand," you mumble, staring at the floor, quieter than before, "i love you, nagi. not as a friend. so no, i can't just live with you forever."

you feel him before you see him, his body towering over you. when you look up, he's pouting. he puts his hand on top of your head, gentle, warm.

"why do you look so sad," he wonders, as if he hadn't heard what you just said, "that's why i want to live with you forever, dummy."

you wake up to nagi wrapped around you.

"sei," you groan, turning in his arms to look at his sleeping face, "you're heavy."

he mutters, groggy, incoherent, and you can't help but press a kiss to his nose. his hair is falling all over his face, but your eyes memorize every slope. he squeezes you harder.

"why are you awake so early," he mutters, nudging your chest with his head, "it's my day off."

you soothe your hand down his bare back, feeling the tight muscles underneath your fingers. he works so hard, and his days off are so rare. you wiggle some more, to loosen his arms.

"i know," you smile, "but let me go make breakfast, kay? i'm hungry."

he shakes his head and whines. "no," he refuses, "just go back to sleep."

you relax, unable to tell him no. mornings with nagi often go like this, except that you usually have enough self-control to get him up. but sometimes, you remember what it was like wanting him so bad, that now you remind yourself to enjoy it.

as a partner, nagi is clingy, vulnerable. but he's also determined, and sometimes, the intensity with which he wants you catches you off guard.

"y/n," he calls, his breath hot against your neck, "i'm happy you're here."

you close your eyes, nodding. "me, too."

[lightlycareless]

I’m curious, how would you think Naoya’s canonical first appearance would be like if he was married to Y/N during the events of the manga? I wonder if he’d still maintain his role as antagonist(maybe he’d turn ally?) or if he’d just be nonexistent because him and Y/N decide to leave Japan post shibuya(he can’t let y/n get caught up in that) XD

Hello anon!!!

Well, I actually wrote a little something detailing that hehe. Kind of. I hope it still answers your question :>

Also, because this is the perfect opportunity to do so, why not write something sad/angsty for a change. A "what would happen with Y/N and Naoya during Shibuya" :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) but somewhat taking into consideration the post above? Hmmm more at the end.

warnings: slight mentions of character death. mentions of pregnancy. angst. sad overall I believe. :') Naoya loves you and has done things differently than the jerk we all know of course. Or not? Also, I don't remember much of Shibuya anymore so forgive me if something is odd about it.

Happy reading!

I would say Naoya would quickly decide to get you out of danger. No questions about it; he doesn’t even consider otherwise. As soon as he hears what is going down he intends to send you far away in some remote safe house where he thinks you and the kids will be ok—perfectly tended for, as he’d always made sure.

You, on the other hand, aren’t too enthusiastic about leaving everything behind, simply because your family was right in the middle of the crisis! And of course they would be, always rushing to serve the noble cause, you were not surprised to learn that they were doing their best to prevent the situation from worsening.

But this was no ordinary task, that much obvious by a simple glance. And if not through that, then by the growing uneasiness settling in your heart. One that demanded you to stay… or at least remain attentive to what is to follow.

“But I don’t think that’s even necessa—”

“We’re not discussing this anymore, Y/N. You are leaving, and you’re doing so tomorrow first thing in the morning. I already made all the preparations, you just need to have the kids awake and ready.”

“I don’t want to leave my family.” You insist. “I shouldn’t! They—They need me. They’re putting their life on the line; I can’t just leave—”

“Our children need you more. I need you more.” Naoya frowns, frustrated that of all things you’ve decided to refute him on, this had to be the one. “As I said, I won’t discuss this with you anymore—you are leaving.”

“But Naoya—!”

You’ve only seen this firm side of him on scarce occasions; either when reprimanding your naïve kids when accidentally doing something that might hurt them, or when putting his family in place after saying… well, the things they normally did.

And since you obviously don’t like pushing him over the edge, having more than enough with the weight of being the heir of a prestigious clan, as well as all his work as a sorcerer, you tend to just go with what he wants.

But not this time around, you simply couldn’t act like there wasn’t something bothering you. Something looming over your mind, a frightening omen that involved someone directly involved with you.

It could be anyone. Either your family, or… Naoya.

Both chances you did not wish to take.

“…Please.” Naoya would quietly insist after seeing you grow silent, regretful of the domineering way he seemed to take over the conversation, for after all was said and done, he loved you more than anything else in this world and would rather die than hurt you.

He wasn’t happy about this arrangement, no, in fact he despised it.

Hated the fact that he had to be the one to come up with it in the first place—but after what he heard from Shibuya, alongside his father being summoned for support, it was nothing but clear that he needed to act.

“You’ll be stationed in a nice place. A quiet little village with a nice, ample house and access to a relaxing beach for you and the kids to spend time on.  Now, doesn’t that sound nice, mochi?”

Had it been literally any other occasion, you would have been ecstatic. Happy to have the opportunity to spend time with your family without worrying about anything, simply what you and your kids were to do next.

But it wasn’t meant to be this way, so much that even the kids were unusually calm about the so-called holiday. Having sensed their mother’s anxiety and preferring being by her side than thinking of having fun.

“And school? What about their friends?” You eventually ask, of course, one of the many ways to stall him.

“I don’t believe you will be away for long, but I arranged everything in the meantime. They will be homeschooled.” Naoya explains, you frown. “As for friends… I guess I can consider occasional visits. Though they’ll more likely make new ones over there.”

“…And you? Will you be… coming with us?” You know that wouldn’t be, assumed so either way. But still, you hoped he would surprise you otherwise.

“…You know I can’t.” Naoya responds, your heart sinks to your stomach.

“Why not? Your father is already there for support. Why do you have to go?” you scowl.

“I have to stay at the estate to oversee it while he’s gone.” He explains. “I wish I could go, or that you and our kids could stay but… it’s too dangerous. If anything happens at Shibuya and things decide to escalate, it’s only logical that the estate will become a target and I won’t risk it.”

You press your lips together, understanding his words, yet disappointed that it had to be that way. A part of you tried to accept them, let it go, for you knew exactly what you were getting into when you married him.

And the other…

“I can’t… I don’t feel comfortable being away while you and my family are in danger!”

“This is no different from any other mission I’ve gone to, or that your family has.” Naoya attempts to console you, but both knew that wasn’t the trutht. “What is it? What is it that has you like this?”

“…I…I don’t…I don’t know.” You begin slowly, hesitant to admit your thoughts in fear that they might become true. To painful to even consider it! “I just… have this awful feeling that something bad is going to happen soon.”

“Like what?”

“Please don’t make me say it.”

Naoya didn’t need more to understand, and such, leans closer to you, enough to wrap his arms around you and gently place a kiss on the top of your head.

“…Nothing will happen. I swear. I will contact you whenever possible so you’ll be at ease. And if there’s any change, I’ll let you know as well. I promise.”

“…Please?”

“Of course, princess.” He smirks, now kissing your cheek. “I wouldn’t even dream otherwise.”

“You haven’t called me that in a long time.” You silently admit; his words lift some of the burdening weight from your heart.

Not enough to free you, but enough for you to slightly jest at him.

“Well, our little Naomi kind of inherited it, didn’t she?”

“She’s well deserving of it. It fits her.”

“Technically you’re my princess, and she’s our little princess.”

“…I guess so, if you put it that way it kind of makes sense.”

Silence engulfs the two for a brief moment soon after, motivating Naoya to hug you even tighter.

“Everything will be fine, Y/N. It’s nothing but a situation that… got a little bit out of hand, but nothing I can’t handle. That’s all.

Just remember that my father is involved too. And…” as much as he hated admitting it, the old man was a very talented sorcerer. A good decision was made by considering him. “Gojo-kun is also there too, and everyone knows there’s no one stronger than him. As for your sister… well, she’s quite a force to be reckoned with too.”

“I never thought I’d come to hear you compliment them, ever!” You tease, he scoffs, slightly embarrassed.

“I just want to make you happy.” Naoya silently admits, placing his fingers underneath your chin and lifting your gaze to his. “You mean the world to me; I don’t know what I would do if you—if you… I can’t lose you. I can’t.”

“Then hurry up back home.” You pout, a tear sliding down cheek. “Please, for me. For the kids.”

“Promise me to always send me pictures of you and the kids. It’ll serve me as motivation as to why I even bother doing all this…” He frowns. “…And to let me know if you’re ok. You’ll be secured there with some of my men, but I still wish to hear it from you.”

“You don’t have to worry about that. I’ll send you so many, you’ll ask me to stop!”

“Now, mochi, no need to say fallacies we know won’t happen.” He teases back, which you respond with a giggle before quieting down, the realization that his impending departure is near.

“May the gods bring you back safe to me.” You silently pray, pressing a kiss on his lips to seal your protection charm, the one you’ve previous on prior occasions and has always worked—or so you believed.

The same one you desperately hoped would work this time around as well, especially after beginning to hear the horrific loses Shibuya had brought along.

From the death of your beloved friend Nanami to Gojo’s unprecedented sealing, you remained on edge as you tried your best to keep constant communication with Naoya, trying to figure out if any of these happenings had affected him one way or the other, praying that nothing would befall him.

Eventually cursing yourself when realizing you had unknowingly called a bad presage into reality when Naoya one day, without previous warning, directly and sternly, sends you the following message:

“My father died in Shibuya. I am now clan leader.”

To congratulate him given the circumstances of his death felt out of place, if not incredibly imprudent—even if this was his biggest dream.

It just came to you so… unexpectedly, though some would say that incidences would occur in such conflict. Perhaps it was Naobito’s time to leave this earth.

And yet, another part of you decided to take this as a warning, a reminder that this was no common attack. Not if it was capable of claiming the life of someone so skillful as your father-in-law.

…

What did any of this mean for Naoya? Is he safe? Is he ok? Has he been injured? Where was he right now?

But most importantly, what is he going to do now that is Leader of the Zen’in clan?

Did this mean that you were finally able to return with him? After so many days of homesickness, would you be able to see your husband in person?

…

Or… or did this just made things even worse for your family, forced to remain away until things cooled down, because you were now a bigger target?

“It’s still not safe. With Gojo-kun’s sealing… the clans have been nothing but a mess; and apparently that’s just the tip of the iceberg. There seems to be a deeper plan unfolding in the background—We still don’t know what for, but I know for sure one thing: I wouldn’t dare endanger you.”

“…Ok. I understand” You dejectedly agree, forced to remain behind as you lonely mourn the death of your friends, or the unknown fate of one of them.

Well, at least your family was relatively safe. Your siblings sustained injuries, but nothing they wouldn’t be able to heal in due time. You could only wonder the stresses your father had to deal with now that the Gojo clan was rendered nonexistent… Was someone trying to nominate Satoru’s replacement?

…

You wished you could do more. Longed to not feel as useless as you did nowadays, more so since Naoya’s messages turned to be fewer and fewer as time passed…

But at least he still responded. Took a little bit of his time to let you know that he was fine. Busy, perhaps a partial lie, but ultimately alive.

Just a matter of days and you’ll be back in his arms, with your children, and the little bundle growing inside you. Where you belonged.

Unless… fate was to cruelly decide otherwise.

“Naoya, I… haven’t heard from you in quite a while. I just… hope you’re ok and not overworking yourself. Naomi, Naori, Naoko and Naoyuki miss you. Please let me know how everything is doing as soon as you can. I love you”

…

“I don’t want to bother you, nor distract you from your duties. But I’m very worried about you Naoya, you haven’t answered any of my messages or calls. And… and I can’t shake this feeling that something horrible happened. Please answer me, Naoya, I can’t take the thought of you mot—

Just let me know if you’re ok, please. I love you.”

…

“Please, just give me a sign that you’re alive. I beg you, Naoya. I can’t take this anymore. I feel so lonely without you. I always do, but today… today it feels worse. Please, if just a letter, you don’t even have to write a whole message. Just a dot or something. Anything!

Just… anything so I can know you’re fine. Alive. Please. I beg you”

…

“Please. Please. Please. Naoya, answer me. Please. We love you.”

…

…

“Please. For our baby. Please.”

…

…

…

“…Naoya?”

Obviously I wanted to make it tragic and say that Naoya died; but how did he die? By being in Shibuya? Maybe. Maki? That means he still would've been a jerk! akjgkags

Also, I believe he didn't tell Y/N that he wasn't actually clan leader because... I don't know, pride. It's what he wanted all his life, after all! Maybe he hoped to fix that before meeting up with you again, and that's how he died :) OOF

Anyways, I hoped you enjoyed this little "what if" piece. I still have another Shibuya-centric oneshot to write 😏 maybe that could add on to this one? Thankfully, the good things about these prompts is that they're not really connected to one another, they could all essentially be read individually hehe nice.

Now, thank you so much for sending in this ask; take care and hope to see you soon!!!

[dorky-kawa]

unrealized dream and themes in jjk's ending

For a manga whose core, repeating messages are 'betting on the future' as well as 'people aren't weapons,' the ending of jjk is thematically disillusioning.

I see and understand the interpretation of the ending as uplifting in the sense that even though the cycle of curses continue, even after all the terrible things that happened, jujutsu sorcerers can stand up and continue to forge ahead; and the next generation has stepped forward with adults around that care for them.

At the same time, it is not unfair to read deeper and take a holistic look at the state of jjk world at its end to realize that ultimately, everyone remains cogs in a system that is not really trying for any revolutionary changes.

The thing is, for the students and everyone that survived, this is a good ending from their perspective. For things to keep going, to go back to normal, only that some things are going to be better. For them, they are ending on an optimistic note.

The readers can feel differently because we know about Gojo's dream of resetting jujutsu society with strong and clever allies. The problem with Gojo's plans, however, lies in that he never told any of these strong and clever allies about this dream (except for Ichiji), probably because he never saw himself dying in these plans. The way Gojo spoke about it, it's most likely he saw himself at the forefront leading the charge with his students supporting him. Yet, with him gone, no one can continue his dream for him.

Despite 271 apparently being titled "Continuation of a Dream," in reality, they can only continue a shade of Gojo's dream. The next generation has the inherent goodness and kindness that Gojo always envisioned, but they (and the remaining adults) don't have the entire vision, which was what Gojo had.

Having people with good intentions of changing things for the better without having actual directions for how/what to change results exactly in the state of jujutsu society in the ending: a world with better people leading some slighter better versions of life for themselves, while remaining stuck overall in a system that is minimally changed in the long term in any meaningful way.

That's what chapters 269 and 270 show us. Charles is writing his manga. Noritoshi is happy with his family. Gakuranji tells Utahime everyone is still young.

Hiruguma is resigned to keep living (but he's going to be 'used' or 'worked to the bone as a sorcerer'). NSS is now safe to use, which will save the lives of many sorcerers (but the students are still not free from being 'tools' in this world of sorcery).

All the characters are given small personal victories in the ending, but their endings are not entirely happy either. Still, it's good enough to lull them to be hopeful. It's enough for them to not think about the fact that they still exist in the cycle.

The characters are alive and well and satisfied with where they are at, because without knowing Gojo's dream, this is a good place they are at right now ('it's the best we can hope for' thinking). Gojo and the readers ar the ones who would probably still be unsatisfied with how not enough is being changed, who feel they could set their sights on more. Except Gojo's also happy to stay his airport with his one and only

Finally, I think it also gets us readers that the ending has been portrayed in such blindingly hopeful manner; we don't see any of the characters acknowledging how grim the whole concept is in terms of perpetuating cycles and all. If only they acknowledge it only to utlimately refute it in the name of perseverance and the human expereince of overcoming adversity. Something like Yuuji saying 'we are all born with curses, and we cannot break away from them, but this is how we will live on, even in this cycle of curses.' That would have been more palatable, at least to me (ofc, full leaks aren't out yet).

Also, can I just say that we never saw anyone go north. What does that say about a manga about fighting for change when every single character has chosen to remain who they are?

Final note: I also want to say that this post is just talking about themes and Gojo's dream in jjk's conclusion. I'm not going to even try to touch on character interactions in the ending at the same time.

[penguinkyun]

chapter 166 review

continued cw for discussion of canon suicide

ITS THE FINAL CHAPTER......!!!

honestly. i really really wish i could give praise and a positive review about this chapter because its the end of a manga i really truly loved and enjoyed and it makes me really sad that i can't do that

because this ending is shit. thanks akasaka!

with two chapters remaining, i knew that any fallout would be rushed and underexplored without the time it would deserve but it really does amaze me how this chapter managed to feel both rushed and excessive in its exploration of grief

just like kana last chapter, focusing so much on rubys grief here feels oddly exploitative (but everything about these last three chapters have felt exploitative and excessive so) and yet we did need to see rubys reaction so its just this contradictory mess of too much and too little at the same time

i guess it feels that way because like @aihoshiino mentioned, of this trend in the latter half of the manga of showing horrible things happening to the characters, but theres either very little or no healing and rebuilding to provide catharsis. aquas death is horrific and theres no resolution or refutation to the self hatred he has of himself and he died believing his only role while living was to be in service of others and everyone else is shown grieving in detail for a few pages before moving on because theres not enough time to give their emotions the space to breathe and not enough time to give them the space to heal and rebuild so it just feels like an endless cycle of suffering and suffering with tiny hints of healing and then its back to suffering and it is so draining to read through

its kind of sad that ruby, who is supposed to be the second main character of this series, doesn't even get to narrate the last chapter, like she narrated the beginning of the first chapter after ai's death. all her thoughts and feelings are told to us by akane instead of her- her story can't even be told by ruby herself

burning.mp3 sure is playing loud during the beginning of this chapter

ough mem's notice that shes taking a break contrasting her one million subscriber video...that sure hurts

and what hurts even more is why the fuck is taiki not at the hoshinos family grave where aqua would be buried. why is he giving a bouquet to parents he absolutely hates instead of being allowed to grieve the brother he actually loved and cared for???

WHY IS HE AT THE HIMEKAWAS GRAVE. WHY. WHY TAIKI WHY. THIS MAKES NO SENSE HE HATES THEM??? WHY WOULD HE GIVE THEM FLOWERS??? WHAT THE FUCK. WHY IS THIS THE LAST TIME WE SEE HIM???

coughs. anyway

the ending really is just "aqua died and we were all sad about it. then we moved on."

and its honestly terrible that everything is going exactly as aqua predicted. his death only boosted ruby and 15YL, and everyone else was able to get back on their feet in what feels like almost immediately. i don't want the characters to suffer more or any of them to commit suicide like half the predictions were in the weeks after 164, but the way its presented here- due to the lack of pacing and rushed ending- the narrative is retroactively justifying aqua's suicide and thats. well bad! its bad message to send! rubs forehead. seriously the messaging is all sorts of fucked up this chapter

i dont actually have all that much to say about the rest since its pretty much what i figured-- akane and kana going all in on acting and everyone getting their footing back

we really just brought in two random bkomachi members out the wazoo!

the two stars in the sky did get me a little though i wont lie

what i didn't expect though was akasaka taking the themes of the series and burying them even deeper than six feet under in the final chapter

because ruby's essentially become Ai 2.0 here, even more than she was in c.159. she's become a liar that lies constantly as being an idol, hiding her pain so she can continue to shine- the very ending that neither ai nor aqua wanted for her, the very thing she never wanted to become– how is this a happy ending? or even a bittersweet one?

hoshino ai was a greedy girl for wanting happiness as an idol and happiness for herself, so what does this chapter tell us? what's the moral of this story? that you shouldn't want happiness for yourself? hoshino aqua died without ever receiving the fulfillment and happiness he wanted, ai died because the toxic culture and misogyny around idols and idol culture prevented her from living her life in happiness, and hoshino ruby survives without any fulfilling happiness in her life? is the lesson here you shouldn't be greedy for too much happiness? that you simply need to grin and bear it? thats an absolutely terrible message to send!

this ending feels like holding dry ice because of how devoid of any warmth it feels

the last panels are so cold— ruby saying goodbye to a wall filled with the commodified versions of her mother and brother (especially their signatures what the FUCK) and one single true picture of them both and its from her childhood and going to a job she lost any sort of joy and fulfillment in and has to hide her pain everyday with lies

it'd be one thing if ruby had to lie if she still found any sort of enjoyment in being an idol but none of that is there! It's just empty.

sidenote: ruby do you not have a single picture of aqua as a teen?? even gotanda has one wtf?? what about miyako??? this is not the time for product placement!

ALSO WHY A PLUSHIE. OF ALL THINGS. WHY AN AI PLUSHIE?!

the fact she says ``towards the future [you] illuminated for me`` is so insulting to those deaths because. neither of them wanted this for her! and ai didn't die for her and as far as she knows, aqua was murdered so this line is as confusing as it is wrong

its such a bad ending for ruby because being an idol was something she wanted to do for two lifetimes and now she has everything except her family and the happiness that she used to have doing it

sighs. in the end the saitous were the only ones with their dreams fulfilled huh? they got an idol to the dome.

kana never got her dream fulfilled, akane couldn't save aqua, ruby lost all her family and lost the love and enjoyment she found in being an idol, aqua died horribly without ever seeing any of his dreams come to fruition. ai's wish has been desecrated completely. towards stars and dreams? hah. what a terrible name for this arc. what a bitter ending.

despite all this, i really do love this manga and thats why seeing this ending destroy all the themes it had of breaking the cycle, of moving forward, its sad. and heartbreaking.

its a fun ride though! and i enjoyed being here and reading this manga. honestly a little emotional now thats its officially oshi no over! i'm not done with this series though and probably will still be posting and discussing it for a long time to come! in the end, i love all these characters way too much to let go now and they have all been a pretty important part of my life, so...happy end of series everyone. i hope you all enjoyed this ride as much as i did!

see you all!

[goddessofwidsom]

After finishing the manga of Tokyo revengers you went  to indulge yourself in a drink.Suddenly gunshots was heard outside and a bullet shattered your window.Piercing your skull you had died from a stray bullet.You awoken in a cold sweat lying in a soft bed.You took deep breaths and tried not to hyperventilate.You swore you just died was it a vivid dream.You can’t believe this tears pricked your eyes.Threatening to fall you prayed it was a dream all of it.And that you woke wake up you pinched yourself.Hard enough to sting crescent marks imprinted on your skin.Breath in breath out you repeated in your head.Like a never ending mantra finally.You managed to calm down you shakily sat up.forced to digest all of this information at once. 

You have to investigate this new place you explored exiting your bedroom.You saw a basic living room and kitchen.Normal necessities nothing out of the ordinary.You gingerly walk back to your room.You inspect for any information about you.So far you found that your name is Y/n L/n from your original world.And your body is fairly the same.You also found out from managing to unlock your flip phone it’s July 2005.Other information you gathered is that your body trained in various martial arts(judging from the metals with awards on them).And is known to be laidback, manipulative ruthless.(By reading your body dairy) her parents left her at a young age.Online you call out fake people and hack.You found out your body enjoyed coding. 

That’s enough for today your brain reached its peak capacity.You jump on the comfort of your bed.Dozing off instantly you overlooked the contacts in the messages.The next day you were awoken by loud ringing coming from the phone.You groggy sat up and picked it up.Seeing the contact Mikey almost made you think.You we’re hallucinating but no it was the one and only.Your in Tokyo revengers? Well shit you ponder on answering or ignoring. 

But you hang up and do basic necessities you go through the closet seeing tomboyish clothes and a school uniform.You put on the skirt below your knees that’s a simple black.And thigh high socks along with.A simple white blouse and a red blazer,A black tie loose around your neck. 

 You sigh smoothing out the creases.Now all you have to do is think where is your school located.Hopefully muscle memory will save you slipping on plain white shoes you exit your abode.Turning familiar ways to this body.Finally you arrive to Mizo middle you internally cringe.Out of all the schools you could attend Takemichi? Really.Your not all surprised seeing how Mikey contacted you.Speaking of the devil someone slaps your neck. You whip your head around seeing a tuff of blond hair.

”Y/n-chin!!!” He exclaimed kola bear hugging you.Draken sighed rubbing his temple.Before prying Mikey off you unknowingly you been glaring.”Mikey stop acting childish” Draken scolded him Mikey pouted in return.”Big meanie Ken-chin humph!” Mikey refuted Draken simply let out a tired sigh. 

You tried to act normal like this body would and so you rolled your eyes.”Enough with the bantering I have work to do” You stated calmly and walked off. Little did you know his ebony eyes was glistening in adornment.You wandered in the school confused.Familiar coral colored hair gathered your attention.

”Ah—! L/n-san” She confirmed waving at you as she walked towards you.With a soft smile present on her face.She hugged you and then released you.”How are you doing today did you perhaps get lost again.” Hinata teased your face was so tinted a crimson red. “I did forget..” You admitted you would be lying if you said you weren’t happy that the prior owner of this body forgot there classes. 

“That’s okay L/n-san let’s go lucky we share the same class” She relayed grabbing your wrist and leading you away. Soon a class numbered 2A was in view.You kept that in mind for later.”We are here and this time don’t start!” Hinata lightly chided you.She walked in the classroom and you followed behind her.Talking turned into murmurs and people shy away from your gaze.Even the teacher was silent you sat beside Hinata.And the teacher didn’t say anything about you being albeit late.”Tachibana-san if you get late again it’s going to be a problem your two minutes pass curfew” The teacher net-picked at Hinata and that got under your skin. 

“For a sensei you sound biased if you won’t talk about me don’t talk about Tachibana-chan like that.” You asserted with a glare.”A-ah your completely correct L/n-sama I deeply apologize” The teacher stuttered over their words.You overheard a whisper. “So informal calling Hinata ‘chan’ when did they get so close,And did you see how Meiyuri-sensei cowered it was so funny” You processed the information you are proper.You guessed anyway the class smoothly continued with a few hitches.It was lunch break and you decided to explore but.

As you were exiting the building(to take a break from the noise)  you heard screaming.”KIYOMASA-SAMA CURB STOMP HIM!!!” A nobody yelled that certainly got your attention.You sighed rubbing your temples.After all that hard work you did you ached for a break.But they’re so loud you walked towards the drama.

Suddenly the voices increased in volume seeing you.And a beaten up Takemichi was astray on the floor. The mizo five middle worriedly looked at him. “Oi your so fucking loud why” You demanded an answer your ears hurt. He immediately bowed a perfect 90 degree angle.”B-because this punk asked to fight” You knew he was lying so you reeled back your fist.And punched him he passed out and his lackeys ran away.Before you could lend a hand to Takemichi Akkun grabbed him.And ran away with the other four.You sighed you fucked something up.If only you didn’t intervene.But those thoughts became short lived when a familiar voice was heard. “L/n-chin I like the beaten up boy what’s his name—!” Mikey pestered  at this point Draken was just tired of his antics.”Hanagaki Takemichi” You replied and walked off.Mikey grumbled and Draken stayed silent. 

You decided to skip school and try to make it home.But after a couple hours of walking.You realized you weren’t in Shibuya anymore.Flashing lights and loud noises was common in this area.You though it’s probably Roppongi.You sighed you wanted to backtrack but suddenly.”Hey what’s yer doing here ya new?” A boy with black and blond pigtail braids asked with a lazy smile.”I got lost” You truthfully answered knowing it’s Haitani ran.

”How?” He looked taken aback by your answer.You shrugged walking off ignoring him.You didn’t have time for that you need to leave.He didn’t do anything now you ended up deeper in a mess.Your in front of a club.Wondering about your next move.You needed to seek shelter for the time.And entered the club immediately you were swarmed.Then somebody pushed you on the ground.You sat up and dusted off your uniform.And glared at the person.

[danwhobrowses]

One Piece Chapter 1122 - Initial Thoughts

And we're back

A bit late, scanlations didn't come in my time zone yesterday and I've been unable to graft out time until now. Also My Hero's final chapter happened so I had to read that too.

But finally, back from another break in One Piece. It's 'getting off this island, this time, for real' time in Egghead, the Sunny still soars in the sky, Vegapunk's broadcast is still ongoing and there are some lingering factors still to consider.

Let's see how the chapter unravels them

Spoilers for the Chapter, Support the Official Release too

Sadly Yamato's cover story has been so boring that for a split second I got excited about seeing a Smoker cover story, but instead it's a redraw of an artwork (edit: a redraw of My Hero's mangaka's artwork, which is sweet), he looks badass though - Oda make Smoker badass more in the story! He and Tashigi need some Ws

Vegapunk's last reveal that the One Piece will decide the fate of the world has led to international worry, many not exactly thrilled with the idea that the fate of the world is likely gonna be in the hands of pirates

Pirates of course are happy, the world's smartest man just told everyone that the One Piece exists, there was more deniability when it came from a dying pirate after all

Impel Down are rambunctious, as Oda reminds us that the broadcast is piggybacking off of all Den Den Mushi whether people like it or not

Many misc Vice Admirals don't like that reveal either

Koby though, remembering his first encounter with Luffy, is forced to put himself at odds with his friend once more

Koby you know Luffy ain't like that can't you just resolve to stop his opposition?

Buggy meanwhile wins the hearts of his masses by refuting that it'll be 'his world' but rather 'our world'

His gesture at least spares him more assault from Crocodile and Mihawk - who it was really directed to

Devon and Augur are still with Caribou, asking Teach if they should kill him

Blackbeard seems willing to hear him out, which means a lot of worry awaiting Fishman Island and Wano

Vegapunk's broadcast is once again cut off after Vegapunk utters Joy Boy, with Warcury having once again damaged Emeth

As the giants call out to it's mecha kin, the Den Den Mushi inside explodes, ending the transmission once and for all

Up with the Sunny, V. Nusjuro makes chase, I guess he can gallop on air?

Zoro does prepare to confront V. Nusjuro but it's time for Emeth to do THAT JUTSU

He apologizes to Joy Boy and charges

He also apologizes to Luffy, realising that he's not the same person

What a spread though, it's like a painting seeing the Sunny flying overhead, the Gorosei's forms one side, Emeth in the middle and the longboat on the other, also with the reveal that Emeth is sorry that he couldn't make Joy Boy King

King of what though? It was implied that he led the Ancient Kingdom, perhaps he like Rocks wanted to be King of the World?

Emeth asks for Luffy's name, and he does his usual declaration

Pulling out a knotted rope, Emeth marvels at him having D. in his name

He unknots the rope, and an immense Conqueror's Haki emits from it!

Emeth thanks Luffy for letting it hear the Drums of Liberation once more, and demands that he doesn't die

The haki is so intense that not only does it revert the Gorosei to their human state, but it sends Warcury, V. Nusjuro and Ju Peter back to Marejois!!!

Mars is there waiting having been given the Manga's second successful space launch

Oh Shit! Imu even felt it, and they are rattled!

I wonder if this confirms that Imu is somehow connected to the Gorosei in some way?

Also we have a new shaded character acting as an attendant to Imu, wonder who that is?

The Sunny lands safely, much to the crew's relief

Only Saturn remains, staring down Emeth as he remembers an encounter with Joy Boy

Sadly it seems Joy Boy wasn't a giant, his silhouette is small and he must look Luffy-like

In the past Joy Boy tells Emeth that 'the time is at hand'

That Haki was Joy Boy's, which he embedded into a knot for Emeth to use, knowing that Emeth will likely outlive him

He permits Emeth to untie the knot when their life or someone's life that they care about is in danger, so they will be there to help

Joy Boy happily notes how it's like saving him with help from the past

Emeth seems to shut down once more, heartbreaking that his last memory is hoping that he won't feel lonely

Welp we pour one out for Emeth this chapter

This was an exciting chapter to come back to, and it once again puts Haki in a new perspective. Shanks has already shown that Conqueror's Haki can be utilised differently than just a shockwave or coating, but this was a lingering imbuement, something that stayed intact long after Joy Boy died, that is very fascinating.

The fact that Joy Boy's Haki could repel the Gorosei shows the ceiling Luffy and co need to get to as well, it feels like we've just breached the surface of how powerful Haki can really be, the will of the spirit, the quality of a King. And we have to mull on that, because being King does mean a lot, the end of the chapter shows Joy Boy - at least his silhouette - to be a caring person, focused on being able to help his friends, but what did Emeth want to make him king of? Was it Joy Boy's will to be king too or was it like a Whitebeard thing where he wanted to make Ace king? I'm not saying there's duplicity but the conflict between Joy Boy and the very shaken Imu could be a conflict of ruling philosophy, two extremes rather than a comfy middle ground. Food for thought at least.

With the threat of the Gorosei gone, minus Saturn we should still keep an eye on him (maybe Saturn didn't get sent back because he did technically sail there? The rest were summoned), the crew are safe to leave. But there's still other matters to deal with; the mother flame is still in Saturn's hands now, York that bitch is still alive, there's also the worldwide reaction and however Morgans wants to spin this (we never did get a reason to have a video feed from Vegapunk? Maybe his explanation of the D or the recent cutoff had the visual aids?) and there's whatever CP0 will do - I doubt Saturn will treat their and Kizaru's failures as unable to be helped, not to mention Sentomaru and Stussy's treachery.

The all out pirate war is on the horizon though, Koby looks like he's gonna step up again even if it means opposing Luffy, but as we leave Egghead the world is for sure about to be shaken more than it's ever been shook.

[aihoshiino]

chapter 137 thoughts!

so sorry in advance for how long this chapter review is but anyone who has spoken to me for more than 5 seconds on the topic of oshi no ko probably saw this coming the instant they read the chapter

Picking up immediately where we left off, this chapter feels sort of like a pause to inhale and reiterate Themes and Ideas to really drill them into the readers' head. Technically, none of this is new information (especially as pertains to Ai) so I could see it being repetitive for people who are keyed into Ai as a character but like… I am STILL seeing people in discussions of the manga just flat out not understanding Ai even when the text lays it out so I kind of I can't blame Aka for just clobbering us around the skull with it at this point: There was no horrible dark secret or ZOMG SECRETLY EVIL AI reveal waiting in the wings. It was always just that Ai was a normal girl doing her utmost to live and find normal happiness in a deeply abnormally cruel and lonely life.

With that in mind, I can't help but wonder if the film crew's reactions to this Ruby adlib aren't, to some degree, a reflection of that willful ignorance in the text for the purpose of refuting it — similar to the way Tsukuyomi was used to shut down the "Reincarnator Ai" theories popping up in the wake of new fandom blood back in chapter 118.

Like, these are all people who knew what they were signing up for, who are aware that this is a movie about depicting the "real" Hoshino Ai and yet their reaction is alarm and even dismay - the same instinctive rejection of Ai's vulnerability we see mirrored in Nino and even Aqua to an extent. Even while filming a movie that's all about her pain, they still value and instinctively prioritize the clean and perfect image of the invincible idol, Ai.

By contrast, Gotanda won back a lot of my goodwill this chapter with the monologue that took up most of its first pages. As I've alluded to in some previous chapter reviews, I was having a lot of mixed feelings about Gotanda's role in the movie and 15YL as a whole, but this chapter has reframed things in a way I am tentatively on board with. In this new light, 15YL is about crafting a narrative of Ai's life that may not be literally the events that occurred - it may even take huge liberties with them - but is all in service of conveying a much more important series of emotional truths about the cruelty she was subjected to.

This is mirrored by the visuals that accompany Gotanda's words, a series of disconnected images that do not themselves portray a coherent series of events but paint an emotional narrative of the loneliness, abuse and abandonment that created Hoshino Ai. This honestly might be one of my all-time favourite sequences in OnK so far just on the strength of its imagery alone. Those final two pages especially are just breathtaking: the grotesquely detailed and toothy maw of a B-Komachi fan sandwiched between two pure, sanitized images of Ai, the sea of huge, grasping hands reaching out of the void, on the verge of swallowing her.

I especially want to highlight that final panel of Ai's eerie, perfect smile. I genuinely can't overstate what phenomenal fucking expression work this is from Mengo and once again, I think this might have jumped into my top 5 favourite panels in the series already. It's so frightening — there's nothing technically wrong with it, but it looks wrong, it feels wrong. Even in the confines of a still image, I still somehow got the impression of it being a mask, unnaturally frozen and fixed in place. It honestly jumpscared me a little bit when I first saw it. My friend Silvie (@relares) also pointed out that the panel is framed in such a way that Ai appears to be trapped — backed into the corner of a closed box, pressed up against a wall to cover her vitals like a caged animal. It's really genuinely unsettling.

On that note; scooting back a bit, something I was really gratified to see as a girlie who constantly reaches for this idea in writing for Ai elsewhere: referring to Ai as an animal brings into text something that had, prior to this, only really been a happy accident of associative imagery, where her role as B-Komachi's bunny brought to mind a timid, easily frightened and physically weak little domesticated animal. This chapter makes it very clear this is not accidental but an extremely intentional choice to further emphasize both her vulnerability and dehumanisation. Being a helpless prey animal, rolling over and showing her belly, is less scary than being human

The Japanese text of the chapter the text takes this dehumanisation a step further: Rather than the wasei-eigo term アイドル (aidoru), when calling her an idol, Gotanda uses the word 偶像 (guzou) - an idol by its original definition. It goes beyond just reducing her to an animal - it's objectification in the very literal sense. Ai is an idol, a ceremonial object of worship, an inanimate vessel for the dirty desires of the people around her. That's the nature of the "idolhood" that was inflicted on Ai and it was killing her long before Ryosuke ever picked up a knife

This is especially interesting to see in the wake of Ichibanboshi no Spica, which essentially depicts the moment that Ai starts down this road, committing herself to being an idol who will love and support everyone, even people who hate and scorn her. This is framed by the novel as being something of a breakthrough for her and being liberating for it but I came out of it feeling deeply unsettled in a way I don't think the novel wanted me to be. I couldn't quite articulate why at the time but I think this chapter has given me the language to do so: Spica depicts the moment that Ai goes from アイドル to 偶像 without seeming to realise that's what it's doing and thus does so in a way that is not just uncritical but wholly celebratory.

In a lot of ways, this makes sense - Spica, broadly speaking, is about the "oshi" part of Oshi no Ko: the emotional fulfillment of not just receiving support but in the act of giving support yourself, in cheering someone on and seeing them succeed. Spica depicts these sorts of relationships in a straightforwardly and uncritically positive light, even in cases of parasocial relationships between fans and celebrities but this chapter, by contrast, paints a much more honestly ugly picture, of oppressive expectations, fear and dehumanisation inflicted by the supporters on their "oshi'.

At least in terms of OnK's narrative as a whole, I think the truth is somewhere in the middle: the bad certainty outweighed the good in the end, but it does not erase the ways that Ai was able to find genuine joy and fulfillment in what she did as an idol. But as far as this chapter goes, this is as unflinchingly honest about idol and stan culture as OnK has been, honestly, since the LoveNow arc and maybe even the prologue. It decries it as ugly, visualizing it as grasping hands, drooling teeth and a quivering, terrified prey animal on the verge of being consumed.

This is why (if you'll forgive me for briefly jumping ahead) the RBKN talk at the end ultimately fell so flat for me, among other reasons: it felt extremely out of place to the point of being a little tone-deaf to go from a whole half a chapter so brutally tearing into celeb culture to Ruby brightly talking about her own celebrity ambitions. I don't need Ruby's arc to end with her giving up on being an idol or anything, but it nevertheless feels completely insane to go from the first have of this chapter to the second with absolutely no in-text acknowledgement of how incongruous these two perspectives are.

Given that this is paired with her declaring that she isn't going to be like Ai, I can only take this to mean that Ruby is declaring her intent to never cross the line of アイドル to 偶像 like Ai did but I think that ultimately just kind of misses the point. The only way I can make any sense of it is if the narrative itself is drawing a distinction between アイドル and 偶像 and trying to pretend that the former is something that can be purely good and wholesome.

This frames Ai's situation as being somehow unique to her and while it's true that Ai was a person pushed to extremes by many contributing factors, none of the pressures placed on her by idol culture were unique or unusual. Hell, I've even said before that the premise of Oshi no Ko is more or less the result of the friction of idol culture's obsession with purity and the fantasy it promises of an eternally virginial child-wife and the reality of Hoshino Ai as a dirty, messy human with adult desires and sexual autonomy. When you get down to it, what happened to Ai is really the logical end point of celebrity culture as a whole: dehumanisation, commodification and reduction of people to ceremonial objects of worship. Why else would we call them "idols"?

oh my god. i'm not even halfway through the chapter. i. sorry i';m like this. anyway.

This chapter also does a lot to reframe what 15YL even is as a movie, both through Gotanda's monologue and his take on Ruby's performance as Ai — rather than pure authenticity, it is a blend of Ruby's compassion for and understanding of her mother and her anger and disgust at the people who exploited her, an indictment of the public and all the people who were complicit in her suffering. The end note of the chapter even points out that aiming for "the real thing" is no longer the point of the movie if it ever was and this frees it, to an extent, of the hypocrisy of purporting itself to be a movie about "the real Ai" while dramatising and rewriting aspects of her life and identity to better suit its narrative

As good as this recontextualization of 15YL is, I do think its portrayal in this chapter feels a bit inconsistent with what has been leading up to it. Prior to this, there had been a lot of focus on contrasting the movie's supposed dedication to the authenticity of the real Ai with the number of changes and dramatizations it made of her life and character. This new framing of it is certainly not bad and honestly preferable to what came before, but it does still kind of feel like an overt overcorrection, as if someone finally pointed out to Akasaka what I've been saying this whole time about how fucking ghoulish this movie feels.

anyway. oh my god. moving on at last: wow! mid filming script rewrites!! historically always a great sign for the health of a production! … obviously, actors giving a character a different energy in their performance that contrasts the script and requires adjustment is not UNHEARD of and has resulted in solid movies but that Gotanda makes this decision so lightly and without consulting like… any of his cowriters does speak to Akasaka's comparative level of ignorance as to how movie making works Vs the much more real and in depth experience in TV and music production other parts of the manga reflect.

I do really like that the discussion here ends on a note of asking Ichigo for his thoughts because like… yeah, actually, of course Ichigo should have opinions about this! Even putting aside the That Is Her Dad of it all, Ichigo is the only person involved here who knew Ai before she became and idol and can properly speak to her early experiences. That said, Ichigo being involved here brings something else back up: BRO…. WHERE THE HELL IS MIYAKO!!!!

it is getting so beyond absurd at this point that she is not involved in things. I know people are probably so sick of hearing me harp on about this but her absence is so, so baffling and there really is no good excuse for it. Even if they just said some shit like "Miyako is busting her ass managing our other talents while we make the movie" I'd take that. But that it goes SO uncommented on when she was so involved in getting all this together and just had a whole chapter dedicated to her talking about how strongly she feels about the twins as their mother… it's so baffling!

This goes QUADRUPLE for the total absence of Aqua this chapter, despite him being right there and getting a dedicated reaction panel in 136. The lack of focus on him lately was something I was willing to buy into as an intentional choice that would make sense when viewing the arc in hindsight but at this point, his lack of engagement with the things going on around him is just getting ridiculous, regardless of its intentionality. This is the guy who spent over a month emotionally self harming to the point where images of Ai's face would give him a panic attack and now that he's at, arguably, the lowest emotional point he's been at in his life, we have no reaction to basically seeing her walking and talking in the flesh again?

Hell, given that this is Ruby of all people and this is coming so close on the heels of the GRSR reveal, I'd expect an even stronger reaction from Aqua than anyone else but… nope! Nothing. We've barely had any meaningful AQRB interactions and it all adds up to making that past life reveal and the tease of Ruby's feelings in the wake of it feel totally flaccid as a plot development because nothing is coming of it. I know we will inevitably have to circle back around to it given that the HKAI scenes are on the horizon but there were surely ways to weave this more organically into the ongoing conflict that didn't result in me feeling like I'm sat at a kantenzushi place and waiting for something to come back around on the belt. Gah!!

Speaking of conflict, I want to at last move onto the RBKN talk that makes up the back half of this chapter. As I alluded to earlier, this talk fell incredibly flat for me, both as a character beat for these two characters and as a conclusion to this chapter in particular. I already talked about why Ruby's resolution here didn't click with me but more broadly, I simply don't like this as the resolution to the RBKN conflict which is seems to be presented as.

To touch on the things I do like about it… thematically, I enjoy this as a continuation of the ongoing idea of the New B-Komachi learning from and correcting the mistakes of the group that came before them. In practice, though… have they actually done that? This talk doesn't meaningfully address or even really acknowledge all the ways New B-Komachi is repeating old mistakes or the way the group quite literally does exist purely for Ruby's sake and that her taking that for granted left both Kana and Mem feeling used, as if they were just accessories to decorate Ruby's idol career that her CEO mommy bought for her. Instead, they just touch on the very surface level issue of their staged argument and then move on as if things are resolved. There's obviously still room in the future for us to circle back to it with Kana's graduation concert set but as things stand now, it's an unsatisfying note to end this thread on.

Ruby is robbed of the opportunity to do any real introspection and we as readers don't even see the moment she realizes what Kana is doing and why, or get any real insight into her feelings on this fight outside of vouyeristically goggling at her in the immediate aftermath of her pain. There was some really great potential here for Ruby's behaviour during her Black Hoshigan arc to finally catch up to her and make her face the consequences of her poor treatment of Kana and Memcho. She could've had a chance to confront her own inner ugliness and her potential for buying into the same bullshit perpetuated by the rest of the industry that hurt her mom so badly. Instead, we get an endpoint in lieu of any real work necessary to get there without any indication that she has learned anything meaningful from this arc or that her relationship with Kana has changed at all.

Kana, too, is done exceptionally dirty here. We get a lot of great Kana introspection in this arc, digging into both her feelings of insecurity towards Ruby specifically and the sense of empathy she developed through playing Nino, who she saw as being in a similar position to her. Kana's jealousy towards Ruby and her sense of being Ruby's extra, an accessory, is something that's been brewing in the background honestly since the First Concert Arc and I initially found it incredibly cathartic to see her finally expressing that to Ruby and getting those feelings off her chest. I was looking forward to seeing how she would work through this and resolve it, confronting her inner demons and coming to have a healthier relationship with Ruby as a result. But again… it just doesn't happen. Kana gets no closure over the hurt she expressed in this arc — instead, she's once again used as a stepping stone to prop Ruby up and make her shine.

And like… what are we supposed to take away from this? That Kana — and Nino by extension — were correct? That Ruby is just The Most Special by default (never mind her CEO mommy explicitly favouring her for work and opportunities) and that the only way Kana can deal with it is by quitting as an idol altogether? I'm going to be totally frank: as both a Kana enjoyer and a Ruby enjoyer, I think this sucks shit as a resolution for both of them! It's not only unfair to Kana but it's also just so boring as a way of characterizing Ruby. I think there's a space in OnK for really interesting discussions about like, natural talent VS hard work and how much of someone's success is one or the other but this conflict absolutely is not that.

In general, this chapter just felt… uneven, I guess. The first half of it, as you can probably gather by my completely unhinged ramblings, was one of my favourites we'd gotten out of OnK in a long time but with the back half falling so flat for me, it just ends up feeling kind of jarring and a bit less than the sum of its parts. It's definitely not a BAD chapter by any stretch and it very clearly gave me a lot to chew on and think about. It's just kind of a let down that a chapter and a shared character arc I was otherwise enjoying so much ended on such an incredibly nothing note.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Trigun Stampede Character Thoughts: Vash

I've been putting off this write-up since I finished the show if for no other reason than whenever I go to analyze this funky little dude my entire brain just stalls and goes

✨ Hi, Vash. Hi. :) ✨

...anyways.

Here's a quick collection of thoughts on him now that I am finally more coherent! The hardest part of this was trying to make something readable with the sheer amount of things I could say about him. Geez.

(Please note that I have only watched Trigun Stampede! As of this moment, I am starting the manga and have not seen 98 Trigun. I thought it might be interesting to compare and contrast once I've read the manga. Bear with me in the meantime!)

Right off the bat, the show introduces us to who Vash is as a character - a pacifistic gunman who, while incredibly skilled, avoids confrontation when at all possible. When Meryl accuses him of running away out of fear, it's pretty quickly made apparent that, while it is out of some semblance of fear, it is not fear for himself. Rather, his concerns lie with other people's well-being first and foremost.

Or, really, his concerns lie near completely with other people's well-being. What happens to him is of very little consequence if it means everyone else is okay.

I want to talk about three different things when it comes to Vash, namely:

His incredible skill and competence

His terrible self-image

His solidly held pacifistic convictions

Skill and Competence

Ohhhh ok. So, I can't really comment on exact positions or maneuvers (I used to do martial arts pretty extensively, but it's obviously not the same kind and I know absolutely nothing about guns or marksmanship sorry), but I can sure tell you that I loved the way the animators had Vash move in episode 1 right before he pulls out his gun for the first time. I wish I knew how to make gifs properly because I would totally make one of that part. Even before Roberto's line that "acting brave is foolish" and "he's not long for this world" had finished, I was already convinced of the exact opposite. As someone who's done martial arts. Guys. The way he moves here.

It's a three step movement - he steps to the right, then to the left in an almost meandering way, shifting his body weight as he goes, before he grounds himself in a wide stance. It's slow, fluid, and calculated - a distinct contrast from his often jerky, exaggerated motions that we saw earlier. God I wish I had a gif. I don't think I can simply explain how insane it makes me. The animators could've just had him approach directly or run up to it - a lot of the times, with action heroes, there's a lot of flashy motion or jumping around, etc., which looks cool but isn't exactly something to be role modelling in an actual fight lol. But here? In the next episode, Nebraska mockingly says "this isn't the ballet" with regards to the dodging and spinning Vash does, but a lot of his motions... really are dance-like. He's damn near effortlessly shifting his center of gravity while remaining fluid in motion and completely balanced. No novice moves like that. He clearly has a lot of experience. For me watching, Roberto's line was refuted before he even finished it.

...which of course makes it even funnier when he realizes he's out of bullets. Oh, buddy. You looked so cool for a second there. Hjhdfnv

Really though, pay attention to the way he moves while fighting or shooting. He's always well-grounded, and the more serious the situation, the more fluidly and less exaggeratedly he moves. It's so, so cool. I don't know if I've quite seen that kind of motion in animation before, especially cgi (though it is possible I just haven't seen enough too...hehe...).

The episode 12 fight too! Again, Vash is balanced, even as he's being knocked backwards. He falls correctly, and allows his body to move with the gun. All his motions are precise and fluid. Contrast that to Nai, who is, uh... totally unbalanced lmao.

And then the way he tucks before he jumps out the window! The animation actually convinced me of this guy's over 100 years of experience. I actually believe it.

What's nice is that Vash, too, is aware of his own skill. He moves with a lot of confidence, and he clearly has a great degree of trust in his own ability to fight and shoot without seriously harming anyone - not once does he show the slightest bit of doubt in his abilities. One might expect, given Vash's refusal to kill, that he might be worried about accidental injuries when in the middle of a gunfight - but he isn't. Ever. The only way I can interpret this is complete confidence in his own abilities, and he most likely trained hard to specifically ensure that this would never be a concern. The trope of "character who doesn't want to fight or hurt people turns out to be really insanely skilled/strong" is always cool and fun, but in this context it's really a neat take on it, since I feel it is only because he refuses to kill that he intentionally developed such god-tier level marksmanship - I am going to go out on a limb here and assume it is much easier to accidentally inflict serious injury with a gun than it is to actively avoid doing so lol. He probably worked at being a really good fighter and gunman specifically so he could avoid killing.

I also find it kind of refreshing that he never calls his skills into question, since that does tend to happen with characters who have a poor self-image or low esteem. Which, uh, takes me to the next point.

Self-Image

Yeah, Vash's self-image is kind of in the gutter. He places the blame for all the tragedies that follow him on himself, despite the fact that he always puts in his full effort to prevent them from happening.

The majority of this ties back to his feelings of culpability for the fall. I want to direct your attention to the scene where Vash is digging the tally marks into the wall in episode 8 - it can't possibly be the number of days that have passed since we see the transition of the sun only twice and Brad looks shocked when he sees the all the tallies (which he wouldn't be if they had been there for that many days). With the way Vash's tallies look a bit like crosses and the fact that he greeted the people in cryosleep on Ship 5 by name in the first episode, suffice to say, he is probably making a tally of all the people who didn't make it through the crash - people whose deaths he feels personally responsible for.

Really, I wouldn't consider Vash even remotely responsible for any of that - he had the access codes but like. Zero intent or knowledge of what Nai was about to do with them. Regardless, Vash carries the guilt from it in the way Nai won't, because in his mind, someone needs to take accountability. Also important to remember is that the only reason any human being still lives on No Man's Land is because of Rem's sacrifice. Vash needs to maintain his belief in the capacity for human kindness and his no-killing code, because if he doesn't, her sacrifice would be in vain. He keeps her values and beliefs alive. She's in everything he does. Even hollowed out and stripped of his memories and identity, the mass of roots and flowers that engulf July take on her likeness.

So, really, in addition to Vash just being a generally compassionate soul, his staunch pacifism is a refusal to betray her beliefs and let his mother figure die a second time. I need to fucking lie down.

With all this strain he puts on himself, it's really not surprising that when tragedy inevitably strikes, he is very hard on himself, and from what we've seen this actually manifests in a set of consistent self-punishing behaviours - I am of course referring to episode 3's "I don't deserve to cry" and his refusal to eat in episode 4 (despite apparently needing to, unlike Nai). This is very similar to what we see in episode 8 with him as a kid, where he goes somewhat blank (no crying, no anger, all his negativity directed inwards and at himself) and refusing all food except what little he needs to survive because "it's a waste".

The worst part of this though, to me, is that we see from certain throwaway bits ("one bullet is two slices of pizza/two dozen donuts!", his kid self's eagerness at the sight of the birthday cake and the spread of food, his first question on seeing the geranium being to wonder if it is edible) that he not only needs to eat but also seems to enjoy eating - so his refusal to eat is not only a denial of a basic necessity but also of one of the few things he genuinely likes that he will allow himself to partake in. In the context of Rem framing food as something to share with everyone, it also makes me wonder if his self-denial is something along the lines of "I don't deserve to share this with them". In that sense, it's really important that Luida echoes a similar sentiment as Rem (implying she wants to share this food/include him, and that some of Rem's views survive in these remaining people).

I do wonder if, because food is associated with sharing to him, that it has something to do with needing to "earn a place at the table" in a way. While I think Luida was trying her best to juggle a lot on Ship 3 behind the scenes after the fall and clearly didn't want to keep Vash locked up like that, the crew only started treating him better and trusting him after he found a way to help them. The unfortunate view that Vash receives then is: "I need to earn their trust by being helpful." Vash is a chronic people pleaser - I can't think of a single point where he does something solely for his own benefit. He has no desire to scare or harm anyone (quite the opposite!) so he goes out of his way to be as helpful and non-threatening as possible - hiding his true nature as a Plant (to such an extent that he doesn't know anything about his powers and has effectively sealed them away - he's practically human), masking his facial expressions by cleverly hiding his face or letting the light reflect off his glasses, trying to laugh off his competence as luck and his scars as embarrassing.

Is it because he doesn't want to scare people? Is it because he doesn't want to feel othered from them? It's hard to say. It's probably a bit of both.

Nai accuses Vash of loneliness and desiring love, and of seeking to fill that gap by appeasing humans. While I don't think this is necessarily wrong, it can't possibly be accurate as a core motivation, since Vash doesn't seem to really... accept a lot of positive interaction. Whether out of concern for others' safety, a lack of feeling like he deserves it, being secretive about his past and identity, or some combination of the above, Vash tends to leave a lot. He leaves Jeneora Rock's celebration early, tries to walk away from Meryl even as she's calling out to him, runs away from Home when Brad and Luida listen to the recording. He throws walls up and distances himself by laughing things off, or smiling, or simply not explaining anything.

I mentioned this during my live blogging while watching episode 9, but as Independents, it's intriguing to me that both Vash and Nai exist outside the cycle of dependence we see between the Plants and the humans - both of which cannot survive without the other. Nai appears to revel in this detachment, but Vash also seems to self-impose a certain distance between himself and everyone else - for all his friendliness and inability to leave someone hanging who needs help, he practices a lot of recognizably avoidant strategies. He exists on the periphery, never staying in one place too long (he can't), and treating every interaction with a certain kind of resignation - an understanding that it is temporary. He seems to expect the inevitability of being chased out over and over. The slightest of kindnesses given to him he always feels incredibly grateful for. Perhaps he feels that kindness is more than he deserves.

I honestly dread to think how he'll react once he regains his memories of what happened to July. I trust that he'll keep pushing on, as he always does, but is he going to remember that he deserves to eat and smile?

I really hope so. Otherwise I will need Meryl and Wolfwood to bonk him on the head.

Pacifism and Conviction

The thing about Vash's pacifism is that it's very difficult to tell whether it is primarily motivated by love or guilt. Vash carries an incredible amount of survivor's guilt with him and he absolutely is doing his best to keep Rem's memory alive, but I don't think it can be denied that he isn't just acting out Rem's beliefs - he really does believe in them himself. He's also genuinely compassionate and does care and become invested in the well-being of others. In the end, I'm not sure it really matters. I don't think the guilt or love can be easily extricated from each other at this point; they are both powerful drivers of his actions and core to his identity as a person, and while this is not exactly ideal for getting him to be kind to himself, they both strongly feed into his continuous choice to be kind to others.

And it is a choice, not naivety, as pacifism is so often brushed off as. Vash's compassion is something he chooses over and over again, in spite of the way he is often treated, and the way his powers hold far more potential for destruction than even Knives. Wolfwood thinks that Vash doesn't understand harsh realities and is going to receive a rude awakening but he does understand - Vash just chooses not to accept violence as the only way forward and believes that things can change and improve, and is willing to expend that energy and extra hurt into making that a reality. Nai thinks Vash is helpless and brainwashed into his belief - note the way Vash frequently appears as his child self when Nai tampers with his Gate or his memories; the implication here is that Nai sees Vash as incapable of making choices for himself and in need of protection - but not only is this horribly demeaning to Vash's personhood, it simply isn't true. Even Meryl chews him out for what looked like running away to her early on, and Roberto thinks he's going to get himself killed sooner or later. Everyone underestimates Vash, at least at first. And well, it's easy to. He's just a silly little guy! He's a bleeding heart who tries to help everyone he comes across! He talks about nobody needing to die in a world where most everyone is starving and desperate! To the people in-universe, he would look like a total fool, and far too idealistic to last long.

Except, he has. He's around 150 years old, he's scarred to hell and back, but he's still alive and he still chooses kindness. That takes a special kind of improbable mental resilience and stubborn conviction - and that's what most of the other characters overlook. Vash is, indeed, very sensitive and emotional and an idealist - he's also much tougher and more rational than hardly anyone gives him credit for. He's an excellent judge of character too!

His ideals and that stubborn faith are everything that makes Vash who he is.

This scene in episode 12 is the only true moment of triumph in what is otherwise a tragedy all around. Nai would go as far as to destroy Vash’s very identity to get his brother back, but at the cost of losing everything that makes him Vash. These ideals are the core of “Vash the Stampede”, and no matter how foolish they may seem or how little others understand his conviction, this is an identity he has chosen for himself. It’s who he is. And this assertion, coming directly on the heels of Nai trying to erase him and remove that autonomy, is an undeniable brief triumph in the midst of it all. Nai will always be Vash’s brother, and he will always love him I’m sure, but they diverged in their persons a long, long time ago, and Vash adamantly refuses to be an extension of or accomplice to his brother’s crusade of hatred… even if that means going against him.

Vash’s kindness is so necessary to a world like the one we see in the series, on the verge of extinction and giving up. Approaching situations with understanding and communication is really the only way to help improve understanding amongst others - and this is one of his biggest strengths; it's even reflected in his use of his Plant abilities (communicating between himself and the other Plants, the way he can open a path both to and from the higher dimension unlike anyone else). In this way, Vash is something of a necessary conduit. I just wish he'd let himself feel a little more tbh. He represses a lot - he canonically won't allow himself to cry if he feels responsible, any flashes of anger are brief, he doesn't stick around to have fun really. Personally, I'd like to see him allow himself grief through tears, a little bit of genuine letting loose and celebrating, and actually expressing things like irritation and annoyance next season. Perhaps that's wishful thinking.

I don't know how to accurately summarize my thoughts on Vash well enough other than to say, in keeping with the whole Plant thing, he reminds me strongly of dandelions. Bright, cheery, grow through cracks and root where you don't expect them to ever be able to eke out a living. Regarded as a weed by many but very difficult to get rid of. Hardy, resilient, and pop back up after being beaten down. Kids make wishes on them.

Anyways. Hugs him hugs him hugs him x 60,000,000,000

[redsandspirit]

Makima does not control the Prime Minister and the Japanese government

I've noticed that it's become popular among Chainsaw Man fans to imagine Makima as the embodiment of evil who is responsible for all the bad things in this world. Due to misreading, people often spread their headcanons under the guise of reliable information, and one such belief is the theory that Makima controlled the Japanese government. Well, let's see if there is evidence of this in the manga.

I think it's worth starting with Kishibe's words from chapter 97, because in retrospect it may give a better understanding of the relationship between Makima and the Japanese government. Basically, he's saying that if the new Control Devil is raised by the government, she will become just like Makima. Regarding this dialogue, people often write it off because Kishibe doesn't literally say "they raised Makima", but the logic is that being raised by the Japanese government = becoming another Makima. I also don't think Tatsuki Fujimoto would add such a line without a reason, but for clarity we need to look at Makima's interactions with her superiors in the manga.

So, in chapter 6 we see Makima reporting to the higher-ups, and this scene alone is enough to say that the assumption that she has control over these people does not make any sense. The reason is that if they were puppets under her control, Makima would have absolutely no need to retell to herself the information that she already knows. This is not to mention how their conversation happens. Throughout the report, Makima stands and the superior threateningly hits his pen on the desk when he thinks Makima is acting out of line and then instructs her not to get attached to her subordinates.

In Chapter 22, Makima admits that the higher-ups are scary, and she is going to leave the room early and skip the luncheon just to avoid meeting them unnecessarily. Encounters with these people are stressful for Makima, and it is not how the person in control behaves.

Then there is one of the most popular Makima's quotes in chapter 33. In her conversation with the Yakuza, we learn that she considers herself a necessary evil collared and controlled by the state. So, Makima herself almost directly says she is a dog of the government, and it's hard to make that less ambiguous.

The last point I would like to draw attention to occurred in chapter 84. After learning of the unthinkable power that the Chainsaw Devil possesses, Kishibe assumed that Makima was going to use it to ruin the world. She asked if he really believe the Prime Minister would contract with such an evil Devil? Some fans I've met have unironically used this moment to argue that Makima forcibly forced the PM into a contract. However, if we try to read the page in its entirety, it is clear that she refutes Kishibe's assumption. Makima's words in the second panel imply that the Prime Minister wouldn't have signed a contract with her if she was as evil as Kishibe thinks she is (which again destroys the idea that she controlled the government). Makima then explains how her ability works in order to lead the conversation towards her real goal - to create a better world using Chainsaw Man, which she can control if she wins in battle. That is, the following lines have nothing to do with the Prime Minister, but serve as an explanation from Makima as to why she is not as evil as Kishibe thinks, and why the contract was made.

If you read the second panel as if Makima gloating over Kishibe's words, implying her control over the Prime Minister (which, as I explained above, is incorrect), then there is no point in her immediately afterwards justifying herself and telling him about her plan, which is not like that as he imagined. As I said, these words did not come out of nowhere, and like everything that will be said below, they were meant to disprove Kishibe's ideas.

Makima has no control over members of the Japanese government or the Prime Minister. Period. There's nothing in the manga to support this far-fetched fan theory. On the other hand, there are enough things that make it as accessible as possible for the reader to realize that she is just a part of this system.

[theghostinabadbook]

Since Teruko's story was revealed, I've seen some people saying that she wasn't twelve years old in the present day, but in the Great War, and since that was my first impression when I read the chapter, I wanted to talk a little bit about why this wouldn't make sense if we take into account the timeline that had already been established by the manga up to that point.

Because of Yosano's backstory, we know that the Great War began fourteen years before the current timeline, assuming that Mori recruited Yosano at the beginning of the conflict. (It's said that she was eleven years old when she entered the war, and as she is currently twenty-five years old, it is safe to assume that the war began, at least, fourteen years ago. Mori's age also agrees with this assumption.)

Back to Teruko's backstory, we are told that she started fighting in the war in her first months of life, as her ability meant that she could mature her body and mind, so she was already considered fit to be a soldier even though he was literally a baby. Just like Yosano, it's never stated that she was there from the beginning, and the chapter itself refutes this later, somewhat.

At the beginning of her flashback, the narrator talks about how Teruko's only childish characteristic is her appearance, which imply the idea that she is an adult today, and even the speech that she is only twelve years old, that she really is a child, can also be ambiguous as the scene changes to show Teruko during the war, giving the idea that during the war she had a childlike appearance because she was a child, but that now she uses that form for convenience, or any other unspecified reason.

However, if we consider everything we know about the war and when it occurred, it's possible to see that Teruko couldn't have served in the army while she was only a few months old and be over fourteen/fifteen years old, and we also know that the the war didn't last long enough for Teruko to have joined it when she was a few months old, and be twelve years old when it ended, at least according to what was shown in the manga.

Of course, she could be thirteen, fourteen, or fifteen, but the manga itself states that she is twelve, despite her ability being able to change her physical and mental age, so I see no reason to believe she isn't that age.

Also, the fact that she is twelve now only adds to the tragedy. She is a child who has only known war all her life and who died (as far as we know) to avenge the person who saved her life when she was just a few months old and had already seen people dying, already had to kill enemy soldiers, and was almost killed by them. It was supposed to be something sad, her life was destined to be a fight until the end, and not by her choice, because she had no choice to be here, to begin with.

[paperpeter]

Nagoya arc in manga and anime: Guren edition.

At one time, it was a big surprise for me how differently the scene with the possessed Guren looks in the manga and anime. Despite the differences, the essence of the scene in both works remains the same and the changes in no way affect the plot, but the presentation and expressiveness itself have a strong enough impact on perception, which allows us to conduct a comparative analysis. In my subjective opinion, Guren's condition was much better demonstrated in the anime than in the manga. Let me tell you why.

Staging.

Compared to the manga, the anime Owari no Seraph looks much more lively and dynamic. The point here is not even in the imaginary fact that the default animation is more dynamic than a static image, but specifically in a more visual and expressive setting. A variety of angles, transitions, demonstration of different sides of the conflict — all that the manga, for some reason, is deprived of in this chapter.

We can clearly see this difference in the example of Guren's appearance in front of the Shinoa squad. While this moment is highly standardized in the manga, in the anime Guren appears before his subordinates after Yu cuts an extraordinary vampire in his path, which briefly confuses the viewer and adds surprise to the scene.

Also, contrary to popular belief, dynamism affects not only the perception of action scenes, but also the feelings of the character, which can be demonstrated both in dialogue and emotions, and in thoughtful directorial techniques. We can already observe a similar thing during the activation of Owari no Seraph in the face of Narumi.

Immediately after Guren impales his subordinates and knocks Yuichiro back, God's Punishment begins to unfold in the blood-drenched sky, riveting the eyes of everyone on the battlefield. At this time, Guren, possessed by Mahiru, peers into the reflection of his eyes in the blade of a demonic katana, drenched in the blood of people and vampires, whom he personally killed. The whole scene is accompanied by manic laughter and tears flowing from his eyes.

This scene works on several levels:

1) Through the contrast of tears and laughter, the viewer realizes Guren's pain from harming his subordinates;

2) Guren's look at himself through the blade shows only his eyes, which builds a kind of dialogue between Mahiru and Guren, and also speaks of his obsession with the goal of killing and inability to cope with it;

3) The demon's sick laugh that accompanies what is happening, shows how absurd the world is, in which in order to save humanity it is necessary to kill people and cause God's wrath.

Just a few seconds present several new readings of the scene, not to mention the wordless disclosure of the inner contradiction of Guren's soul.

Emotions.

So we smoothly move on to the point of demonstrating emotions. I'm not lying if I say that anime Guren is much more charismatic and emotional, which is perfectly illustrated by the example of this scene.

From the beginning of the battle, an inappropriate wide smile adorns his face, which accompanies him until the end of the series and remains on his face even at the moments of the murder. It's the smile of the demon, Mahiru, and the dissonance between her and the usually moral and honorable Guren adds to the viewer's discomfort when watching what's happening on screen.

At the moment when Yuichiro tries to refute for himself the betrayal of such a dear person as Guren, he also smiles while tears flow down his cheeks. At the same time, in the manga Guren also cried, but there was no smile on his lips, which somewhat weakens the transmitted effect of lack of control and weakness in relation to his obsession. Also missing in the anime is Guren's request that Yuichiro run away from him, which I think is right, as the presence of this phrase and others like it knocks down the tension created and confuses the viewer as to who is in control of Guren's body at the moment.

I also add that the external image of Guren works much better in the anime: disheveled, covered with wounds and blood, he seems much more out of his mind than usual, which is why his actions look contradictory than in the manga.

Shinya.

Perhaps the most important thing I wanted to talk about.

Do you ever get the feeling that in OnS manga, Shinya is much softer than in Catastrophe or the anime? It has happened to me, countless times. It seems that in the manga, Shinya is simply not allowed to prove himself on the battlefield or in relationships with friends, and therefore he often seems to be the most spineless secondary character, though he is not.

In the manga, when Guren kills a few dozen subordinates before his eyes and attacks the younger squad, Shinya threatens him with a weapon and demands answers from him, and then tries to convince himself that it was not Guren, but his demon, which you see looks kinda hopeless.

«But in the anime, Shinya does the same thing!» Not really.

Why is the scene from the anime so different that it manages to demonstrate the essence of Shinya's character much better?

First, staging. The opening shot doesn't immediately show us who pointed the weapon at Guren, and the slow camera zoom in on Shinya's face that follows adds tension and drama to the scene. Also, during the conflict, we observe not only Shinya's side, as it was in the manga, but also Guren's reaction to his words, which sets the tone for the atmosphere of conflict and opposition of friends to each other.

Secondly, emotions. While in the manga, Shinya seems overly agitated, confused, and Guren aloof and unemotional, in the anime, Shinya looks angry. Angry at Guren, at his betrayal, and not so much the betrayal of the army, but of him personally, because Shinya always believed that Guren, his selfish Guren, really puts the lives of his loved ones above anything else. This is dissuaded not only by Guren's actions, but also by Kureto's earlier comment, amazed that Shinya still has no idea who his friend really is. That's what makes him doubt, and that's why in the anime, Shinya hits Guren. Hits for a dumb smile on his face that is completely inappropriate and belittling his own feelings of resentment and betrayal, hits for breaking a promise, and this is exactly what Shinya Hiiragi would definitely do in a situation like this.

Guren laughs, and Shinya's face shows a look of disappointment similar to the one he felt back in high school when he thought he overestimated his fiancée's lover. At the same time, the fear that then follows him demonstrates his awareness and true horror at the possibility of losing Guren. Shinya is no longer angry, he is scared and that is why he gives up his position — not so much because of worries for a loved one, but from the understanding that Guren needs help, not condemnation. Not just because he succumbed to the expression of his emotions, as it was in the manga.

Thus, in the anime, Shinya appears as a strong and strong-willed character with a clear worldview and principles, while at the same time having a weakness towards his friend, while in the corresponding chapters of the manga, his image is much more blurred and ordinary.

Results.

Summarizing the above, the characters of Shinya and Guren during the battle in Nagoya are demonstrated much better in anime due to competent directing, script revision and expressiveness of emotions.

This article is only a reflection of my opinion, you can either agree or disagree with these conclusions in the comments ~

[dira333]

Ohoho you like my reqqie, you say? 😏 I'll just slip another one in, then...

I'd like to request for BlueLock this time. You've only written for Reo but what about a lil soulmate for good ol' Kunigami? 👀 Idk if you've read the manga but maybe him in doubt if his soulmate will still match up after the wild card?

Iiiiif you haven't read the manga then puhleaze give Itoshi Rin a soulmate. The man will refute a need for one at all but he just keeps bumping into her and damn it if her unassuming/clumsy/unsuave/good-hearted nature becomes addicting

Thank you my dear for this amazing Request!!!!!

I originally wanted to write Kunigami, but since I'm not up to date with the Manga I would have written it differently and then the Rin part just called out to me...

I hope you like what I did with it:

Not needed - Itoshi Rin x Soulmate! Reader

[abybweisse]

Hey! (^_−)☆

Do you think there was a particular reason for UT to see Sebastian’s record? i mean did he want to know a specific information, or maybe wanted to see something…Or just out of curiosity?

Why look at Seb's cinematic records?

When a few bloggers made some really odd claims, like:

Polaris must have been the mystery person in ch137.

Undertaker removed real Ciel's soul from Sebastian's body when he stabbed him, so real Ciel has his soul restored.

I had to go back and read that scene from the Campania arc. Because I knew those claims didn't make sense, but I needed a fresh look -- and screenshots -- to refute the claims.

Regarding the mystery person in ch137, I do believe Undertaker might have had a body by then to use for Polaris, since I theorize he used the body of one of the dead butlers from the attack at Phantomhive Manor. And that, therefore, not all of those bodies were consumed by the flames. However, only a month had passed between that attack and the ritual sacrifice that killed real Ciel. Undertaker later explains that he managed to sneak into the sacrificial building before real Ciel's body could be destroyed by the fire that Sebastian started. Fire is used a lot in this series to destroy evidence, isn't it? 😅

To Undertaker, fire is probably one of the few ways to truly lose the Phantomhives. That's why he cries over Vincent and specifically mentions how horrible it is that Vincent was reduced to ashes. Despite what some fans still think possible, Undertaker really can't make a bizarre doll for Vincent. Not only does he lack the right body, but we have to assume the cinematic records were destroyed as well. Just because the anime has a library of "life books" that can be altered doesn't mean the manga does. And even if manga canon ends up including something similar, like a storage facility for cinematic records that have been clipped and saved on special film reels or something, manga canon Undertaker isn't simply a "retired" reaper with easy access to that information... while having his praises practically sung by William. 😆

Anyway, even if Undertaker had Polaris' body in his possession by then, that bizarre doll wouldn't have been able to just quietly stand there and observe; none of the bizarre dolls were able to do anything but grab and bite when they were first made and "activated". By the Campania arc, that's still all they could do, including real Ciel. Chances are, any body he already had in his possession when he collected real Ciel's body would have also been in the absolute earliest stages of the process, like laying in one of those special coffins... being repaired from their mortal injuries.

Also, how would Undertaker know to send anyone to that sacrificial venue when he couldn't even get there in time to keep either of the twins from being killed? There's no reason for Undertaker to send someone who can only observe and not intervene on his behalf to save them. That's the sort of thing an active reaper or even an angel might be sent to do -- observe and report. That's why I still think the mystery person is either William, another active reaper, a "higher up" in the reaper organization (possibly angels)... or even John Brown. I theorize that Undertaker was still trying to figure out where the boys had been taken, and perhaps he had trouble getting there in time to even collect a body. By then, the demon contract had already been made, the fire had been set, and the new master and "black butler" had already left the scene.

It's also been made quite apparent in later chapters that real Ciel's soul was not removed during the Campania arc and subsequently restored to real Ciel's body.

So, I had blogged in response to those claims (and others like them) that Undertaker stabbed Sebastian and viewed that chunk of his cinematic records because he didn't know how the contract had been formed. The mystery person, whoever it is, in ch137 had not been sent there by him.

There is no other known reason to want to see his cinematic records. However, Undertaker also got to see how the demon has been treating his young master. And that's when he says the demon is no good for our earl after all, even though he's protective, so he goes in for the kill but gets interrupted by the ship listing too much.

Undertaker gains a wealth of knowledge from those snippets of Sebastian's cinematic records:

The fact that the two do have a contract with each other, and the fact that real Ciel's death was used as the sacrifice. This confirms that Sebastian has already claimed/devoured real Ciel's soul.

He gets to see the terms of their contract, so he can look for loopholes to break it.

He gets to see how the demon and young master treat each other, from the very beginning of their contract into the various stages of their training (as butler and earl, respectively), and he might be able to further manipulate that... cause strains on their working relationship, so that it's even easier to potentially cause a breach of the contract.

He also gets to see Sebastian make an early attempt to end the contract prematurely and go ahead and claim the kid's soul. So, even though he knows the demon is contract-bound to protect his master, he's not entirely above tricking the kid into giving up. Which means if Undertaker wants to break the contract but keep the kid alive, he has to be careful not to break it in a way that would still give the demon a chance to eat his soul anyway.

There might be other things he's gleaned from viewing those cinematic records, but that's what I've been able to think of right now.

[here-lies-golden-kamuy]

The Case of Ogata Hyakunosuke and Love (2)

Thank you for supporting the first meta and happy birthday to the one and only Ogata Hyakunosuke!!! Because of that, I was pumped to continue my observations and thoughts on our favorite (derogatory) catboy and his views on [tsurumi voice] loooove~! 

Wanna read the first part? Click here! 

MAJOR manga spoilers and a lot of thoughts under the cut! 

Main argument: Because of his less-than-savory upbringing, Ogata craves love but (1) doesn’t exactly realize that he does in the first place, and (2) does not exactly recognize nor react well when he is loved. This may arise from the fact that Ogata sees love as something that is obligatorily passed on from one source to another, rather than something that may evolve given time, effort, and patience. I personally think Ogata is attracted (not inherently romantic) to people who love and care for him first. 

Okay, so we tackled a little bit about how Ogata’s past affected how he views love. To reiterate, because of his poor upbringing and modeling of love from his mom (and to a certain extent, his dad too), he grew disillusioned with the notion of love and decided that maybe he didn’t have the capacity to love in the first place.

For this ask, I’d tackle the second part of the argument: Ogata has an interesting way of viewing love, at least for me. For him, love is something inherent and obligatory. What do I mean by that? Ogata has an idea that love is something “passed on” from parent to child. And what’s important about this idea is that the parents are the “fount” of love, and from that shared love, they pass on the ability to love to their child. 

Where does this come from? I kinda extrapolated this mindset from his words in chapter 103, page 11: “A child born from two parents who don’t love each other…grows up to be an adult that’s lacking something fundamental, don’t you think? Regardless of how high-ranking their father might be.” 

But it’s also interesting that Ogata also thinks that the love is affected by social rank. He seems to put his high-ranking father on a pedestal with those words — there’s seemingly a sentiment of a different aspect of love when he considers the social rank of his father. Is it purity or quality of love? Is it the depth of the emotion? Or was he referring to how his father’s “pure blood” should’ve contributed something different in himself? But because he thinks his parents never loved each other (well, until chapter 310 that is), he was born “broken”. 

(On a side note, I would love to think more about Ogata’s relationship with his father — I feel like from early on his life, there was heavy resentment for how an absent man would steal all his mother’s love for him. And of course, he would resent him that he didn’t come to his mother’s funeral, after all the “work” he did to make them see each other again. But at the same time, I think he was also longing to know his father: the one his mother loved to her dying breath. I wonder if the first time they truly met was when Ogata killed Hanazawa…I feel like Ogata was severely disappointed.) 

Let me expand more on how Ogata may have viewed love as inherent and obligatory. I think that for him, love was supposed to be present in a person for everyone they meet. Again, love is passed down from parent to child — a “normal” child is someone who experiences a sense of love for the people they meet. Which is something I’d like to connect with his interaction with Yuusaku during the war with the Russian prisoner of war (chapter 165). 

In chapter 165, page 13, Ogata says that he (and everyone else) doesn’t feel guilt for killing people. But Yuusaku quickly refutes (in a way that comes off condescendingly, if I may say. I know he didn’t mean it though), that he’s wrong. I think it just fully reinforced in Ogata’s mind that he’s different from others because he doesn’t have this inherent love for other people — something that comes so easy to Yuusaku, someone he sees as a blessed child. He sees a further divide from himself and other “normal” people, and further resents love (and Yuusaku) in itself.