#all of this is refuted by just reading the manga

[sinnbaddie]

u dumb asl if u think geto couldn't have been saved had the people around him noticed his mental health declining during that year between the riko incident and his breakdown and helped with his trauma. ur dumb asl too if u think he'd be strictly opposed to having children especially his nurturing and caring younger self. and ur beyond dumb if u think he didn't gaf about his adopted daughters whom he loved with all his might. ijbol

Wrong about me being dumb asf three times actually :)

1. The whole point of Geto killing his village and breaking away from Gojo is because he chose to do this for his ideals. He didn’t just wake up and decided to kill people, he was already a person who could do that, he was just given information (from Yuki) that he already subconsciously knew. It’s also a vital lesson for Gojo to realize you can’t save people who don’t want to be saved. Geto willingly did all of this and didn’t bat an eye, he knew what he was doing and he did it with pleasure. There was no changing his mind = no saving him.

2. Never said he’d be strictly opposed to it, but I am tired of the fandom constantly mischaracterizing him into making him only this “nurturing and kind person”. Because he’s not. Was he nice? Absolutely. But Geto’s dynamic with Gojo would not work as well if he was such a caring and nurturing person. He has many screws loose, which is why he could keep up with Gojo so well - he had many loose as well. To be a surviving jujutsu sorcerer you have to be incredibly unhinged.

3. He didn’t love these kids with all his might really. He may have cared for them in his own twisted way, but if he saw them be killed by Sukuna he would not be nearly as angry as you may think. The fact is, he saved those girls not out of the goodness of his own heart but because he snapped from how horrible non jujutsu sorcerers are. Nanako and Mimiko saw him as a savior. To them, he could do no wrong, it was an incredibly unhealthy servitude. They were unfortunately, still people he could dispose of if it truly came to that. In his lifetime it didn’t, but he never taught them anything other than serving him, they were broken children in need of genuine love and support. All Geto taught them was that killing was right. He was not a “good father” nor did he love these girls as his own children. He’s a genocidal racist, I promise you he wasn’t reading them bedtime stories and making sandwiches for their lunch.

[witchywcmans]

FORBIDDEN FRUIT. | LAIOS TOUDEN

synopsis ━━ laios can't seem to get enough after he first tastes you. but the lines in your friendship are beginning to blur. it's only when your party happens upon your ex-lover in the dungeon that laios realizes what he should've communicated all along. (laios x f!reader.)

content warnings ━━ cunnilingus, praise, size kink, jealousy, classic missionary, unprotected sex, creampie, mutual pining/confession, laios and reader are not good with communication (but they work it out v well), laios is self concious but reader is so kind to him !!, monster facts as dirty talk. nsfw (minors + ageless blogs dni).

word count ━━ 4.8k

song inspiration ━━ awkward, sza / cherry, lana del rey / hunger, florence + the machine

author's note ━━ TECHNICALLY, this could be a part 2 to please, eat, so I'm just going to link as a part 2. you don't have to read please, eat before this, but if you like laios then obvi you should read it anyway!! I'm SO SORRY it took me so long to post another laios x reader 😭 I was trying to finish the manga before I wrote something else dungeon meshi-related, but life gets the way. oh well. also, this might be controversial, but in this fic I’m refuting the “laios is a virgin” allegations. SUE ME. I simply don’t believe he’s been adventuring so long and hasn’t been with anyone, that is crazzzy to me !! but that's just me 🤗 we all have our fave headcanons! my goal when I finish the manga is to write something for laios at the end of the story hehe. I hope you guys enjoy part 2! this one-shot is dedicated to @satoogojos 🫶

🪽 part i: PLEASE, EAT. / part ii: FORBIDDEN FRUIT. / part iii: TOO SWEET.

Catching feelings for your friend was truly a fickle thing. But you guessed it was bound to happen with what you and Laios were doing behind everyone’s back. Each night, after your party tucked themselves in their bedrolls, Laios would so delicately lace your arm through his and you two would find a private area … before he completely buried his face between your thighs.

He was fixated on the way you tasted, the way he could get you to cum so easily on his tongue. You were the only dessert he wanted after every dinner. Some nights, he would have you writhing from overstimulation, but he just wanted more of you – so much more.

It was a little confusing, though, how he didn’t ask for anything in return. Laios seemed to grind against the cold, dungeon floor as his tongue lapped at your essence, sometimes cumming in his pants and moaning between your legs. Or he would politely excuse himself after he was done, taking care of himself as you cleaned yourself up. You didn’t quite understand it, and maybe neither did he. You both were just too awkward to broach the subject.

The incident with the sea serpent had changed your friendship forever. Not only did Laios save you from becoming one, but the intimacy you both now shared seemed to open you up more. You found yourself divulging more secrets to him, leaning on him when you needed someone, even being more impartial to Senshi’s monster meals. And you liked the way he smiled, how he looked at you. You liked how fearless he was. You liked how protective he was over the party, especially you. You … really liked him. Far more than a crush. In fact, you wished you could go back in time and just have a crush. But your feelings for him became deeper as you crept lower and lower into the dungeon together. Your goal was still to come out of this dungeon alive, but now … you hoped that you would make it out alive together.

What a foolish girl you had become.

You tried to remain focused on the path ahead of you, but you were clearly lost in thought today. The party had reached floor 6, which meant you were closer and closer to the deepest part of the dungeon and hopefully rescuing Laios’ sister, Falin. The last thing you expected to see on floor 6 were other adventurers, let alone your ex.

You were hesitant to call him an ex, since you two had never really been anything but a warm body in each other’s beds while living on the surface. But when your bodies collided and your eyes met his, you realized why you had taken a liking to him in the first place. He had been a butcher’s son, handy with an axe, and you had liked his big, strong hands. You almost fell right into him from the slippery dungeon floor, but those strong hands seemed to catch you like you were made of air. “It’s you,” he chuckled, setting you up straight and tucking a stray hair behind your ear. “Look at you … feels like it was just yesterday when we were on the surface, huh?”

Marcille looked like she didn’t want anything to do with your ex and his party, but Senshi was very kind to offer them food, if they needed it. Chilchuck seemed neutral, and Laios … you still couldn’t read Laios as easily as the rest of the party. He watched your ex like a hawk, standing behind you as if to protect you. Your ex’s hands were big, sure, but Laios was tall, his shoulders wide and intimidating even without the armor. Laios narrowed his eyes slightly whenever he saw your ex’s gaze roam over you, like he was undressing you with his eyes. And you weren’t sure if you caught it – it only lasted a second – but did Laios clench his hands into fists?

There wasn’t enough time in the world to dwell on it. Especially when you had ghosts seemingly pulling you into another area of the dungeon and waking up on a dirt path, a beautiful golden castle mounted ahead of you. Your party was initially confused, walking into the village and seeing monsters living harmoniously with humans. After becoming acquainted with the village, you and your friends were offered a warm, delicious meal with Yaad, the lord of the Golden Country. After Yaad explained the history of this village, you all were each given rooms to rest in for the night. The beds were small and cold, but far better than a bedroll.

You were used to Laios initiating with you every night, but by the time everyone went to sleep, he still didn’t call upon you. So you stood from your bed, adjusting the nightgown given to you, and walked across the hall to where Laios’ room was. You knocked on his door, and you heard the slip of a sword into a sheath behind the thin wood. He had been inspecting Kensuke for some reason, probably mulling over Yaad’s words. When he opened the door, he was dressed in loose pants and a linen shirt, droplets running down his neck. He must’ve just bathed. You couldn’t stop yourself from digging your nails into your palm.

“Can I come in?” You asked in a hushed voice, and he moved out of the way for you to step inside.

His room looked exactly like yours, but the sheets were ruffled from lack of sleep. Laios walked around you and sat on the edge of the bed, leaving you more confused than ever. You played with your hands as you stared at him, contemplating. “Is something wrong, Laios?” You inquired, stepping closer to him. “You’ve been acting weird even before we got here.”

His brow furrowed for a moment. “How do you figure?”

“Well, you …” Your tongue clicked. “You didn’t come to find me after everyone went to bed.”

He seemed to concede, shoulders dipping at your answer. Shifting on the mattress, he propped himself up against his pillows and moved Kensuke to lean against the wall. His silence was even more perplexing. This had to be the longest time Laios went without talking. He was a blabbermouth.

“I don’t understand,” you continued, walking over and sitting on the end of his bed. “Are you … are you angry with me?”

“No, no,” Laios was quick to reply, “I’m not angry with you. I’m just …”

You raised a brow, eager to hear his answer.

“That man you recognized. On floor 6,” he finally said, his fists clenching again at the memory. “I didn’t … I didn’t like the way he looked at you. And his tone. It was disrespectful to you. Unless I’m reading this all wrong.”

You were taken aback by his honesty. So he had been bothered by your ex. “Oh,” you replied, “well … me and him, we do have history, Laios. But it’s in the past.”

“I could tell.” He was picking at his nails now, any excuse not to meet your eyes. “Everyone has a life before the dungeon. It’s not about the past. I just … I didn’t like him. Or how he looked at you like … like he still wanted you. Or something.”

“Or something,” you repeated, nodding your head. A slow smile crept onto your lips at the realization. “Laios, are you jealous?”

His head jolted up, his eyes glued to his hands, searching for something unknown. Realization washed over his face, as if he hadn’t even considered this possibility. “Oh, gods,” he pinched the bridge of his nose. “This whole day I’ve been trying to reconcile with what I’m feeling and I knew I wasn’t mad at you – maybe just mad at the circumstances – and none of it made sense, but now …” He finally met your eyes, a chuckle slipping past his lips. “I was just jealous. How did I not realize?”

“Maybe because we didn’t talk about it,” you offered in a low voice, reaching out and lacing your fingers with his. A jolt of electricity ran through your fingertips and all the way up your arm. You wished you could hide your reaction, but it was clear as day, making Laios shift in his spot. “Laios, we should talk –”

“You’re not leaving the party, are you?” His grip on your fingers went tight, and he didn’t even realize it.

“No,” you laughed, scooting closer and running your free hand over his face. His cheeks flushed instantly when you touched him. “I think … we should talk about what’s happening between us.”

Laios’ gaze went narrow as he processed your words. “Oh,” he said blankly, and then his eyes went wide. “Oh.”

“I just … because we’ve been doing this every night … it’s hard not to feel …” You sighed, unable to get the words right. But he seemed to understand, quick-witted as ever, squeezing your hand in encouragement. And then he smiled at you, all dopey and kind, and your heart began to pound. “I can’t help but think that the lines are being blurred between us. My feelings for you are … much deeper than what they were initially. And if you don’t feel the same way, that’s okay. I needed you to know. I’m sorry if this hurts … whatever our relationship is.”

He was still smiling, his other hand gripping your waist, pulling you even closer. “Well, I think –”

“And now I can’t help but wonder if maybe – just maybe – you feel the same way,” you started rambling, terrified to know how he was going to reply. “Because why would you feel jealous if you didn’t … I shouldn’t make assumptions. But I still wondered. And I can’t stop talking. Again, I don’t want this to ruin anything and I’m sorry if it does. My ex doesn’t mean anything to me anymore and he won’t ever again –”

Out of nowhere, Laios used his upper body strength to flip you onto your back, pinning you to the bed. Now your cheeks were flushed, completely caught off guard by the action. He sat in between your legs, his fingers just brushing over your waist, as he said, “I do. Feel the same. I feel like I’m the one who could’ve ruined this because I didn’t realize it sooner.”

You gave him a sad smile, reaching up to cup his chin. “You couldn’t ruin anything.”

He leaned into your palm when your hand moved to his cheek, humming under his breath. He then leaned down, his body just barely pressing against yours, as if he craved your body heat. Like a moth to a flame.

“Can we not talk about your ex ever again?” He muttered, his hands running up and down your sides. “Because when I saw him today, all I could think about was …” He stopped himself abruptly.

“What?” Your curiosity peaked.

“I’m going to sound like a jealous brute,” he sighed dramatically, nose brushing against yours as his hands moved higher, thumbs grazing over the underside of your breasts. The material of your nightgown was so thin that your peaked nipples were already visible. “I just … couldn’t stop thinking about all the times I’ve tasted you that he hasn’t. I wondered if he knew exactly how you liked it, which places made those funny sounds come out of your mouth. And then, I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and all I wanted this whole day was to get you alone.”

You shuddered when his thumb brushed over one of your taut nipples, making your heel run down the back of his leg. His words alone made tingles run down your spine, but the second his hands were on you, you were properly soaked. The both of you lay there for a moment: him on top of you, nuzzling your nose, rolling his fingers over your nipples through your nightgown, eliciting breath hitches from your lips.

It was so slow, so patient, so good, but had you wanting more. And you couldn’t stop the words coming out when you blurted, “I want to have sex.”

He paused, opening his eyes for a moment, making sure he heard you properly.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” you said quickly, feeling awkward. But why were you so shy all of a sudden? It’s not like he didn’t have his tongue deep inside your pussy every night. Maybe it was because there was a question still lying underneath the surface. “Why ... why don’t you want me to help you finish after you eat me out? Sometimes you just … walk away to take care of yourself.”

Laios’ face went bright red, and then he buried his face in your neck. “I’m so embarrassed.”

Your hand pushed back his cropped, blonde hair, trying to soothe his racing heart. “Why are you embarrassed?”

“Because it’s … it’s big,” he sighed and lifted his head. “There. I said it. It’s just big. And the last person who saw it made me feel super self-conscious about it.”

You couldn’t help but snort. “You’re embarrassed because you have a big dick?”

His pretty golden eyes were serious, but it looked like he wanted to laugh with you. “Please, don’t make it sound trivial.”

“It’s not trivial, it’s just …” You went to cup both his cheeks. The way he looked at you was unlike anything you ever experienced. You wondered why it took you so long to realize he felt the same. “I would never make you feel self-conscious about anything. I like everything about you, Laios.”

Your words had him melting, leaning back down into you and kissing you slowly. It was only when his tongue slipped into your mouth that his hand snaked down between your legs, just cupping your soaked entrance, the one thing he loved to eat more cheesecake. Realizing that you weren’t wearing any underwear had him reeling. “Gods …” He moaned into the kiss, his fingers simply running down your soaked folds.

As his lips broke away from yours, you asked in a tone as sweet as barometz, “Do you want to have sex, Laios?”

“Yes,” he replied, voice desperate. “Yes, please.”

Your hands went to the hem of his loose, linen shirt, breaking your kiss again to lift it over his head. For the first time, you were able to see what he looked like underneath all the armor. His shoulders were wide-set, his torso soft while also being oddly defined. Most tall-men your party encountered thought Laios was on the slender side, not believing how strong he was. But once your eyes beheld his biceps, you knew how wrong they all were. He was built and muscular and – gods, you could admire him for hours.

Laios stopped your hands from going any further, a pleading look in his eyes. He pushed your nightgown up and bunched it at the waist. “Can I taste you first?”

You nodded quickly, already intoxicated by the way he kissed you, the way he smiled at you, all eager and excited to bury his face in your pussy. It didn’t take him long; he was lightning fast, moving down your body and lifting your legs on his shoulders so he could eat you out easier. His tongue dove into your folds immediately, and he groaned at the first taste. You were acutely more aware every night that he could do this for hours, just lapping at you lazily, bringing you to orgasm over and over again. No monster compared to the way you tasted.

His nose bumped your clit as he tongued your leaking hole, practically whimpering at every drop of your wetness that reached his mouth. Large, calloused hands wrapped around your thighs, making sure they didn’t close and digging into your flesh. Your own hands fisted into the sheets, your ass lifted off the bed, but you could still grind your hips against his face. Soft whines left your lips, nothing compared to the groans Laios was making as he ate you like he didn’t have a three-course meal just an hour ago. You almost wondered if you should tell him to quiet down, afraid of the others hearing, but you were too lost in the pleasure to care.

It was clear to you the closer you got to reaching your peak that Laios wasn’t keen on stopping. And as much as you truly wanted to cum all over his tongue, you thought it was important that you both have this new experience together. It took you a few seconds to finally gather the courage to say something, his tongue feeling too good as he swirled it around your sensitive clit. “Laios,” you called, and then a little louder, “Laios.”

He lifted his head, your juices dripping down his chin. A primal urge made him want to dive back into you, but he controlled himself. His tongue licked at your essence around his mouth, and you shuddered at the sight.

“I want you inside me,” you whispered. “Is that okay?”

“Yes, yes,” he muttered hoarsely, placing your legs so delicately back on the bed, as if they were made of glass. “Of course.” He so desperately wanted to taste you again, but he was even more excited for this, to finally feel something other than his hand wrapped around his cock. You were the first person he ever tasted, but it had been quite a while since he was truly intimate with someone, to slide into someone and feel them clench around him.

As you tugged off your nightgown, Laios began to work at the ties of his pants. But his hands stopped as they came undone, glancing up at you with hesitation. You looked so pretty sitting in the middle of his bed, waiting for him, naked and vulnerable. He felt silly for feeling so self-conscious, especially when you were so beautiful like this.

“Laios,” you cooed, caressing his arm, “there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. And if you don’t want to, then we can stop.”

He almost choked on a laugh. “Trust me,” he replied, “I want to.”

After another beat of stalling, Laios finally stepped out of his bottoms and blushed pink from ear to ear. His cock was … well, it certainly was big. You sympathized with him; if anyone told you something about your body during sex, you would focus on that forever. But there was nothing for him to be embarrassed about. Truthfully, most males would kill to have what he did. His cock was thick and long, a few veins trailing down the shaft, curving up at his pretty red tip that was dripping with precum. You got even more wet just from staring at it, wondering what he would finally feel like inside of you. 

Your mouth opened to say something, anything to make him feel better, but he was already talking: “I need a distraction so I don’t think about you staring at it.” He crawled back onto the bed and between your thighs, immediately pressing his lips to yours. You could taste yourself still on his mouth, and your arms wound around his shoulders instantly. His teeth tugged at your bottom lip, and he asked, “Can I just … ramble about monster facts for a minute?”

You blinked, not expecting that. Laios released your lower lip and sighed, clearly still nervous. “It’ll help me get over this feeling. I swear. Or if you want to stop this, we can. I’ll … I’ll understand –”

“Laios,” you huffed, your mouth pulling back into a sweet smile, “I want you to do whatever makes you feel comfortable.”

“Oh, thank the gods,” he muttered, nuzzling his face back into your neck, placing sloppy kisses. “Did you know that … that harpies almost exclusively have the head of a female human and it is unknown if male harpies exist?”

His voice was muffled against your neck, but you could tell he was desperate and aching. You felt his hard length against your stomach, smearing precum on the exposed skin. “Really?” You breathed out, trying to engage with him but completely failing when he licked a stripe up your neck. A moan escaped your lips.

“There’s also … there’s, uh …” He was struggling to talk now, grasping his cock and giving it a few quick pumps before teasing the head against your dripping wet folds. Your legs instinctively opened wider for him, hoping to whatever gods were out there that you could take his cock. “There also exists a seabird variant of harpies called … called, Sirens. Their wings and  … their – their tail look like a seagull’s.”

You could hardly breathe as you asked, “What else, Laios?”

He began to push inside you slowly, letting you adjust with each inch. “Okay, okay … uh … bicorns … bicorns hate – oh, fuck.” Just the feeling of your tight warmth wrapped around his cock had him biting into your shoulder, like you were the forbidden fruit. He could hardly string together a word, could hardly think, as he sank deeper and deeper into you, his whole body shaking. “Bicorns hate … hate virtue. They prefer – shit – immorality. It is believed that … doing all seven deadly sins will … will allow an individual to approach a bicorn – fuck. Fuck. It feels –”

When he was finally buried to the hilt, all he could do was breathe into your neck. You whined, locking your legs around his waist. The stretch was unbelievable; your walls gripped him like a vice. But it was even better than you could’ve imagined. If you had thought originally that the night would go this way, you would’ve at least brushed your hair. Laios didn’t care though, inhaling the flowery scent as he nosed your pretty strands. You couldn’t even comprehend – whether it be from the stretch of his thick cock inside you or the overwhelming amount of butterflies in your stomach – how you were so lucky to have found him.

Not to mention, you felt even luckier that this wasn’t happening on a cold dungeon floor.

With one hand carding into his hair, you chuckled under your breath, “Had enough of reciting monster facts?”

“Mmhmm …” He groaned, unable to form a sentence. You finally felt him pull back before pushing into you in one fast, deep thrust, making you shiver. Your body was hardly used to feeling this full, but you wanted him so badly that it was humiliating, a pink blush tinting your nose. “You feel so good,” he muttered.

You pulled on his hair, and his head lifted from your neck. His lips were swollen from kissing you. Yours probably looked the same. But that didn’t matter right now as he held your gaze and began thrusting into you a little faster. His eyes were the color of melted gold, flecked with amber and brown, and you felt like you could stare into them forever while he fucked you. Laios lifted one of your legs higher on his waist, but his other hand stayed around your middle, keeping you nestled against him.

“Laios,” you whimpered, feeling him nudge your clit with each roll of his hips. Despite his desperation, his pace was tender and relaxed, making sure you were adjusting to his size. He knew he was big – clearly, it was something he’d been self-conscious about for a while – but the way you were looking at him right now … he’d never felt more at ease, more special. This was all he ever wanted: to be close to someone like this, to find intimacy with someone he had true feelings for. All the other times had been stepping stones, leading to this moment with you, where your warmth enveloped him so nicely and your gaze made him want to cum on the spot.

His hips began to move a little faster, pushing even deeper inside you, as his mouth swallowed your moans in a hungry kiss. Face going hot, you trembled, and his cock pulsed inside you with each pass. Your nails dragged down his shoulder blades, leaving marks for him to examine later, like a predator with its prey. Goosebumps raised on his skin, feeling himself get closer … and closer … and closer. If you kept digging your nails into him like that, he’d surely lose his grasp on reality. But you just felt so good, so warm, and he craved you. Craved you like you were his last meal.

“Laios,” you croaked out when his lips broke from yours, “Laios, are you close?”

He could hardly say anything else but, “Mm …” 

You thought you could get there by now from his tongue teasing you earlier, but you needed a little more friction. Bumping against your clit wasn’t enough. “Okay, okay,” you rambled, reaching down between your legs to touch yourself. “Just hold off for another minute. I’ll get there.”

Laios opened his eyes, realizing what you were doing, immediately envious of your own hand. “No, let me,” he murmured, voice like honey, and found your clit easily. “Then I can taste you on my fingers after.” His excitement made you laugh, which brought a smile to his own lips.

He shifted a little, pulling back so only his tip rested inside you, and fucked back into you at a different angle, one that brushed against your special spot. The stimulation of both your clit and g-spot had your back arching, whimpers slipping out of your lips like a chant.

“Is … this … better?” He asked, panting after each word.

Your voice was strained when you answered, “Y—Yes.”

His balls slapped against the underside of your ass, and he knew how close he was, but all he cared about at this moment was cumming together. He needed to see that look on your face when you reached your peak. He only got to see it a few times, when he lifted his eyes while tasting you, watching the way your lips parted and sweat ran down your forehead.

His fingers rubbed tight circles on your aching clit – knowing exactly what you liked – and you were close. So, so close already. Laios had a way of touching you that felt inquisitive, yet effortless. Like he wanted to learn which spots made you moan the loudest, while also already knowing without even touching you. You grew to like him not just because of his dopey grin, his protectiveness, or his positivity, but also for the way he was willing to learn with you, the way he needed you. And right now, he needed you to cum more than anything.

Tension coiled in your lower abdomen, making you gasp out, “Laios – fuck – Laios, I’m gonna –”

“I know, I know,” he rasped. His pace was nearing on brutal, his whole body shaking as he held off his release for you. “Together. We’ll – together.”

And then, your muscles tighten. You clenched around his cock, and it only took one more thrust against your g-spot to have you falling apart underneath him. You put a hand over your mouth as you cried out, careful of the rest of the party hearing. Your eyes rolled back, his fingers stroking your clit through it, and it all just felt too, too good. Your orgasm went on forever, wave after wave of pleasure crashing over you. As your walls spasmed around his cock, he groaned low, finally spilling into you. His hips stuttered. His mouth gasped for air against your lips, as he felt a ripple of relief from emptying himself inside you. He bit into your shoulder again to muffle his own noises. Your pussy convulsed, milking every last drop, and you were pretty sure you saw stars.

Once the aftershocks hit you both, he slumped against you, breathing in the scent of your hair again. Your fingers traced small circles onto his back muscles, your chest rising and falling with the fast beat of your heart. When his cock went soft inside you, his fingers finally left your clit and he brought them to his mouth. Your eyes were half-lidded as you watched him wrap his lips around his fingers and suck the juices off, moaning at the taste. He looked like an intricate painting; you couldn’t help but admire the sight.

His fingers left his mouth with a wet pop, and he whispered in a voice so soft you almost didn’t hear him, “You just taste so, so good.”

Laios kissed you again, slow and full of affection. You didn’t even care that he was still inside you; you could stay like this forever, pressed into his warm skin. Gods, you liked him so much that you immediately whimpered as his tongue slid into your mouth, and when he shuddered at your fingers on his back … you couldn’t believe you once questioned if he returned your feelings. You had both been so oblivious.

His mouth moved away from yours and he cupped your cheek. He took a moment to memorize the dusting of red across your face, the way your eyes hardly opened after sex, and then said, “Are you hungry? I think we both need a snack. It’s been a long night already.”

You giggled. “You had me at hungry.”

[yoichiris]

better than letting go | nagi seishiro x reader

✩ accidental sugar daddy nagi ✩ pro-player!nagi, roommates au, angst to fluff, heavy pining, miscommunication

"just go live with nagi," reo says offhandedly, "if you clean up after him, he'll let you stay there forever."

you open your mouth to refute the suggestion, because reo knows how you feel about nagi, knows you couldn't possibly stay in an enclosed space with him hours on day on end without jumping him... but before you do, nagi himself interrupts.

"i'm okay with that," he replies in his usual laid-back voice.

you glare at him because you think he sounds more excited about the cleaning part.

"you're going to be homeless," reo shrugs, "why not?"

you return your glare at reo, "why can't you just house me in one of your billion-dollar properties."

"then i'd have to ask my old man for permission," he waves you off like the asshole he is, "no thanks."

"what's wrong with living with me?" nagi wonders, and you hate him for acting like he wants to live with you so badly.

"look, just clean nagi's dirty underwear for the next year while you finish your degree and you won't have to worry about a thing," reo explains, as if there aren't other factors like your five-year infatuation with nagi, and maybe the fact that nagi lives like he doesn't know what a vacuum does.

you sigh, thinking about the end of your lease and the astronomical increase in rent incoming, and how much you don't want to work your stupid part-time job, and give in.

of course it's not that bad. all you had to do was keep your feelings to yourself.

"nagi," you hiss, "nagi, wake up, you're going to be late!"

he only stirs, covers tucked under his chin, as if he's hiding from you. you inch the door wider, stepping into his room hesitantly. he doesn't even make a move.

"nagi," you whine, crouching at the side of his bed.

he makes a sound of acknowledgment but keeps his eyes closed, so you sit cross-legged on the floor, watching his sleeping form. he's so cute like this, you think, yearning.

it's been a week since you moved in with nagi. in a lot of ways, he's exactly what you thought he would be like in private: he's rarely home, and when he is, he's quiet.

you thought he would spend more time in his room, under the covers, but you realize quickly he's furnished his couch with the coziest throw and likes to curl under there when he is home.

it makes your heart warm when you come home to see nagi, his toes sticking out from underneath the blanket, waiting for you to eat dinner.

"...what time is it?" you hear him mumble.

your heart skips a beat when he opens his eyes, groggy with sleep, and touches your arm. you sigh shakily.

"too late," you smile softly at him, "i'll prep your pre-workout so you can take it with you, okay?"

"thanks," he tells you, his voice raspy.

he smiles back at you and reaches out, poking you in the forehead. when you feel his fingers touch your skin, you think you'll drop dead right there.

"are you gonna move out after you graduate?" reo asks, nine months into your arrangement.

you've been avoiding even thinking about it. you're busy with graduation, you justify to yourself, you don't have time to look for a new place yet.

"hm?" you hum innocently, "i dunno. haven't had time to think about it."

"nagi asked me 'bout it," he mentions casually, and you freeze. is he counting the days down until you leave?

you and nagi have settled into a daily routine: you wake him up, he goes to practice, you study after class, and when he comes back late at night, he hangs out with you for an hour before he has to sleep. mostly, you and nagi sit on either end of the couch, sharing the cozy throw, and read manga.

it's lulled you into a false sense of security, you think.

"oh," is all you manage to say. maybe he finds you bothersome? maybe he wants his own space back?

reo hits you over the head, lightly. "what's that face for? it's been going good living with nagi, right?"

and it was. it was everything you had dreamed of, and it shocked you how well you got along with nagi. you think of how, in early mornings when both of you (mostly you) are rushing out the door, bumping hips in the kitchen, even then it seems like you were working together.

"yep," you reply, sipping your iced coffee, "too good."

reo takes a bite of his food, and suggests, "maybe you two should just keep living together. you can split rent or something."

"can't rely on nagi forever," you protest.

"why not?" he says, just like he did when he had first suggested this whole thing, "isn't that what you want?"

you kick him under the table, angry that he was bringing your feelings up now. yes, you want to scream, it is. but nothing has changed between you and nagi, nothing at all.

you're always trying to keep your feelings in check: when he peers over your shoulder as you're cooking, the warmth of his body hot asgainst yours. or how adorable he looks when he comes out of the shower, his shaggy hair falling over his eyes, his face shiny. those are the times your feelings want to burst.

"just talk to nagi about it," reo nudges. you're not sure if he's talking about the housing or the feelings.

you're curled up with nagi on the couch when you muster the courage to say anything. your legs are touching his under the blanket, and you feel as if that might connect you to him.

there's a month left until you graduate, which is absolutely not enough time for you to find a place to live, but you were scared. you hear the victory sounds of nagi's mobile game, so you decide now's better than never.

"so," you start, and his gaze drifts over to you, "i haven't really found a new place to live yet."

it's quiet. "s'okay," nagi mumbles, not even looking up from his phone, "you can move out whenever."

well, at least that answers your question on whether or not he wants you to move out. at least he wasn't pushing you out the door, you tell yourself.

you don't know what else to say. do you want me to leave so badly? you want to ask. can't i stay with you? you think, desperate. but those words don't leave your mouth.

"are you coming to my graduation?" you ask lightly, and regret it when you realize that you've opened yourself up again.

he shrugs. "dunno my prac schedule yet, but reo's going right?" he replies, as if reo could replace him.

you feel cold despite the blanket, and sink deeper into the couch, feeling drained. from the corner of your eye, you see nagi tapping away at his phone, signaling to you that he's still deep in his game. you take your legs away, knowing he wouldn't even notice.

"yep," you say and awkwardly crawl out of your warm spot on the couch. "i'm gonna go to bed first, nagi."

"g'night," he replies, finally looking up as you pass him with your head bowed. he watches you walk back to your room, and doesn't take his eyes off of you until you close the door behind you.

you eventually begged reo to find you an empty unit in one of his father's rental properties.

he had been insistent you just talk to nagi, as if he knew something you didn't, but you had to explain that you did, and nagi had no objections to you moving out, and you weren't going to wait until he shoved you out the door to move on.

it has been so awkward since that small conversation you'd had with nagi. maybe it was you, feeling out of place, like you had reached a point of no return.

waking him up in the mornings were now rushed, gently pushing him awake and scurrying off before he was fully awake. leaving his pre-workout on the counter instead of handing it to him. sitting at the kitchen table under the guise of studying instead of curling up on the couch with him.

it's not that he'd changed, you knew, it's that you couldn't keep playing pretend with your feelings anymore.

you hear the front door click as nagi walks into the apartment.

"hey," he says, pushing open the door to your room, "i'm home."

you turn from your position at the front of your closet, where you were just about to take out your suitcase. "oh, hey," you reply lamely, "welcome home."

he hovers, something he's never really done, as if he knows you have something to say, as if he had something to say. the words were stuck in your throat.

"reo told me you're moving out," nagi finally tells you.

traitor, you curse at reo. "uh, yeah," you smile tightly, "i didn't want to keep bothering you, so..."

"you're not bothering me," he replies, maybe a little too quickly, but you don't notice.

there's another silence. what else can you say?

"you don't have to leave," nagi continues, "i don't mind if you stay here."

but do you want me to stay? you want to ask. the way he says it so casually, as if it didn't matter whether you stayed or not, only solidified your decision to be away from him. at least then you could just be his friend without delusions of sharing a life with him so intimately.

"nah," you try to keep your voice steady, "it's probably better this way."

"i like living with you, though," nagi shuffles his hair uncomfortably as he says it.

you laugh, maybe a little bitterly, "because i cook and clean for you?"

"no," he says quickly, looking flustered, "no, i just like it when you're here."

but why? you want to scream. your heart pounds, because you feel like you're close to something, but at the same time it feels so far. sometimes you're convinced that he knows about your feelings, that sometimes you two are talking about them even though the topic is unrelated.

"it was nice," you settle on saying, as if it wasn't life changing, "but i can afford living on my own now."

"i don't want you to leave," nagi almost sounds like he's whining, and your heart skips another beat.

"why not?" you say, frustrated, breathless, "we can't just keep living together forever."

"what if i want to?" he says, and you feel like the conversation has become out of control.

your mind is racing. what is happening right now, you try to breathe through your nose. what is he talking about right now, you try to ask yourself.

"nagi—" you stop yourself, trying to get a grip, "what are you saying?"

you're looking at him now and you're surprised by the determination in his eyes. it's what he looks like when he's really focused, like he is when he plays soccer.

"i want to live with you forever," he declares, sounding defiant, as if that wasn't what you wanted.

but you're not sure what it means. you only know that five years is a long time to be holding onto your feelings.

"i don't understand," you mumble, staring at the floor, quieter than before, "i love you, nagi. not as a friend. so no, i can't just live with you forever."

you feel him before you see him, his body towering over you. when you look up, he's pouting. he puts his hand on top of your head, gentle, warm.

"why do you look so sad," he wonders, as if he hadn't heard what you just said, "that's why i want to live with you forever, dummy."

you wake up to nagi wrapped around you.

"sei," you groan, turning in his arms to look at his sleeping face, "you're heavy."

he mutters, groggy, incoherent, and you can't help but press a kiss to his nose. his hair is falling all over his face, but your eyes memorize every slope. he squeezes you harder.

"why are you awake so early," he mutters, nudging your chest with his head, "it's my day off."

you soothe your hand down his bare back, feeling the tight muscles underneath your fingers. he works so hard, and his days off are so rare. you wiggle some more, to loosen his arms.

"i know," you smile, "but let me go make breakfast, kay? i'm hungry."

he shakes his head and whines. "no," he refuses, "just go back to sleep."

you relax, unable to tell him no. mornings with nagi often go like this, except that you usually have enough self-control to get him up. but sometimes, you remember what it was like wanting him so bad, that now you remind yourself to enjoy it.

as a partner, nagi is clingy, vulnerable. but he's also determined, and sometimes, the intensity with which he wants you catches you off guard.

"y/n," he calls, his breath hot against your neck, "i'm happy you're here."

you close your eyes, nodding. "me, too."

[livmightlive]

2 Adventure AU (cont.

REFURBISHING AND polishing my 2 adventures AU 

If you don’t want to read my last post, (which is fair bc it was mostly rambling), the gist of it is that the LU crew goes on two adventures. The first one occurs while most of the chain is quite young and then years after that adventure ends they all come back together again grown. This applies to everybody BUT Warriors. 

For the first adventure most the heroes are really young. Time has just finished the events of Majora’s Mask. Wind has just finished Wind Waker. Four, he’s not even Four yet, just went thru Minish Cap. These three are all around age 11-12.

Hyrule is 13, having been living by himself for a year now after completing the events of Zelda 1. Legend is 16 and has only been home for few months after the events of Link’s Awakening. 

Sky and Twilight are both 17, having just finished their respective journeys.

WILD, I owe this completely to the suggestion of @durudurururu, is 16 and has recently been knighted and is starting his fight against the calamity. He has not been through the events of BotW yet. 

And Warriors. . . Warriors is a 23 year old, recently appointed captain, who is in the early stages of the war of eras. He has so far not met Mask or Tune yet in his war. 

I think the funniest way this would go is that Wars along with Sky, Twilight, Wild, and Legend are pulled together in quick succession and are told somehow by the goddess that there’s a great threat that requires many of her heroes to vanquish. 

Wars thinks this will be fine. He isn’t shocked that this is happening, his own era is going through something similar, and working with some teens isn’t bad. He’s already used to leading young knights back home. 

Shit hits the fan immediately 😭

Warriors tries to take charge, assuming a leadership position quickly. Sky and Wild are quick to follow him, already quite used to following captains back home, but Legend and Twilight… 

Legend, freshly traumatized, has decided that he already hates Warriors and does his best to refute everything he says and generally makes things 100 times more difficult. Legend often tries to do his own thing which pisses of Wars to no end. Wild and Legend develop SEVERE beef right away after Legend’s declaration that “knights ain’t shit.” Sky tried to play mediator until Legend declares that “Hylia is a stank-ass ho” as to which Sky is like: >:(

Wars hopes that Twilight will be reasonable. He tries to tell Twilight to do something he doesn’t want to do one day and his response is to spit in the ground, “not the city slicker telling me what to do.” And struts away. 

Wars prays, PRAYS., for the day this adventure is over. His teenage comrades get into more fights with each other than they do with the black blooded monsters they should be. Their hygiene is almost dangerously bad. They REEK. Wars prays for the day he doesn’t get awoken by a petty argument. Three times this week dinner has been interrupted by a PHYSICAL altercation between from two to ALL of the boys.

When Sky says the goddess told him more heroes will be joining them, Wars prays that they will be older and wiser. When he’s met with a gang of child soldiers he decides that Hylia must be dead and gone because this has to be the work of demise. 

Two of them are non verbal. The masked one makes some attempt to sign, but the young, skittish teenager makes absolutely 0 effort to even try or even indicate that he’s listening to Wars. Wars is convinced that both of are feral. Were they raised in the woods?? In a cave? 

One is a self proclaimed pirate. Wars is ashamed in the others that the person who tries hardest to actually listen to him is the 12 year old actual criminal who starts struggling with alcohol withdrawal a week into the journey. 

Baby Four is basically the version of himself at the beginning of the 4 sword manga. A huge ego as he’s a budding knight. He listens to Wars less than Legend does. 

Miraculously they manage to survive, not even the journey but each other. Things got a little easier. 

Legend takes responsibility for Hyrule after the chain discovers he’s not in fact non-verbal BUT Hylian is not his native language. He speaks Calatian and Legend the resident polyglot takes to teaching him Hylian. 

Wars is shocked when Wild and Twilight become buddies. He has no clue when that happened. Wild is unsettlingly quiet and too well behaved at the best of times while Wars has to bribe Twilight to bathe sometimes. 

Four looks up to Sky after he learns that he’s a god slayer and starts listening to him in proxy of Wars. 

Wars finds himself with two shadows, Time and Wind.

Their mission comes to a close and Wars finds that he’s dearly going to miss all of his little brothers despite the stress they put him through. He’s prematurely greying now. 

He returns to his own war, reunited with Time and Wind, each a smidge older. After two more years, the war is over and Wars once more says goodbye. The day after the war is declared over, Wars is pulled back by the goddess into a journey across time once again. Apparently there’s some unfinished business from last time.

Wars is SO stressed. He’s not at all ready to go back to being the single father/Fiona Gallagher to 8 traumatized children again. He barely, BARELY, survived last time.

Somehow what he finds is much worse 😭

All of Wars’ journey including the one he went on with the chain, occurred over 3 years for him. He’s now 25. So why… WHY is everyone else so much older????

Baby Mask and the Minish hero are so much older. Time must be pushing 40 and Four is easily 5 years older than Wars.

Twilight, Sky, and Legend are all in their mid to late 20s. Twilight is courting a nice young woman, Legend is engaged, and Sky is MARRIED. With kids. 

Wild, what happened to that guy???, is nothing like the quiet, unsettling, lad he was before. He’s in his early 20s and well. More Wild than ever. He also doesn’t remember or barely recalls anybody.

Hyrule, shy, skittish, feral, Hyrule is also now in his early 20s and is almost outgoing. He speaks clearly and magic unlike anything Wars has ever felt before seems to come from his very being. 

Wind is finally of legal drinking age and is shockingly similar to before except now he claims to be able to see dead people. 

The first thing everyone does is treat Warriors to a drink while he processes.

[lightlycareless]

I’m curious, how would you think Naoya’s canonical first appearance would be like if he was married to Y/N during the events of the manga? I wonder if he’d still maintain his role as antagonist(maybe he’d turn ally?) or if he’d just be nonexistent because him and Y/N decide to leave Japan post shibuya(he can’t let y/n get caught up in that) XD

Hello anon!!!

Well, I actually wrote a little something detailing that hehe. Kind of. I hope it still answers your question :>

Also, because this is the perfect opportunity to do so, why not write something sad/angsty for a change. A "what would happen with Y/N and Naoya during Shibuya" :))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) but somewhat taking into consideration the post above? Hmmm more at the end.

warnings: slight mentions of character death. mentions of pregnancy. angst. sad overall I believe. :') Naoya loves you and has done things differently than the jerk we all know of course. Or not? Also, I don't remember much of Shibuya anymore so forgive me if something is odd about it.

Happy reading!

I would say Naoya would quickly decide to get you out of danger. No questions about it; he doesn’t even consider otherwise. As soon as he hears what is going down he intends to send you far away in some remote safe house where he thinks you and the kids will be ok—perfectly tended for, as he’d always made sure.

You, on the other hand, aren’t too enthusiastic about leaving everything behind, simply because your family was right in the middle of the crisis! And of course they would be, always rushing to serve the noble cause, you were not surprised to learn that they were doing their best to prevent the situation from worsening.

But this was no ordinary task, that much obvious by a simple glance. And if not through that, then by the growing uneasiness settling in your heart. One that demanded you to stay… or at least remain attentive to what is to follow.

“But I don’t think that’s even necessa—”

“We’re not discussing this anymore, Y/N. You are leaving, and you’re doing so tomorrow first thing in the morning. I already made all the preparations, you just need to have the kids awake and ready.”

“I don’t want to leave my family.” You insist. “I shouldn’t! They—They need me. They’re putting their life on the line; I can’t just leave—”

“Our children need you more. I need you more.” Naoya frowns, frustrated that of all things you’ve decided to refute him on, this had to be the one. “As I said, I won’t discuss this with you anymore—you are leaving.”

“But Naoya—!”

You’ve only seen this firm side of him on scarce occasions; either when reprimanding your naïve kids when accidentally doing something that might hurt them, or when putting his family in place after saying… well, the things they normally did.

And since you obviously don’t like pushing him over the edge, having more than enough with the weight of being the heir of a prestigious clan, as well as all his work as a sorcerer, you tend to just go with what he wants.

But not this time around, you simply couldn’t act like there wasn’t something bothering you. Something looming over your mind, a frightening omen that involved someone directly involved with you.

It could be anyone. Either your family, or… Naoya.

Both chances you did not wish to take.

“…Please.” Naoya would quietly insist after seeing you grow silent, regretful of the domineering way he seemed to take over the conversation, for after all was said and done, he loved you more than anything else in this world and would rather die than hurt you.

He wasn’t happy about this arrangement, no, in fact he despised it.

Hated the fact that he had to be the one to come up with it in the first place—but after what he heard from Shibuya, alongside his father being summoned for support, it was nothing but clear that he needed to act.

“You’ll be stationed in a nice place. A quiet little village with a nice, ample house and access to a relaxing beach for you and the kids to spend time on.  Now, doesn’t that sound nice, mochi?”

Had it been literally any other occasion, you would have been ecstatic. Happy to have the opportunity to spend time with your family without worrying about anything, simply what you and your kids were to do next.

But it wasn’t meant to be this way, so much that even the kids were unusually calm about the so-called holiday. Having sensed their mother’s anxiety and preferring being by her side than thinking of having fun.

“And school? What about their friends?” You eventually ask, of course, one of the many ways to stall him.

“I don’t believe you will be away for long, but I arranged everything in the meantime. They will be homeschooled.” Naoya explains, you frown. “As for friends… I guess I can consider occasional visits. Though they’ll more likely make new ones over there.”

“…And you? Will you be… coming with us?” You know that wouldn’t be, assumed so either way. But still, you hoped he would surprise you otherwise.

“…You know I can’t.” Naoya responds, your heart sinks to your stomach.

“Why not? Your father is already there for support. Why do you have to go?” you scowl.

“I have to stay at the estate to oversee it while he’s gone.” He explains. “I wish I could go, or that you and our kids could stay but… it’s too dangerous. If anything happens at Shibuya and things decide to escalate, it’s only logical that the estate will become a target and I won’t risk it.”

You press your lips together, understanding his words, yet disappointed that it had to be that way. A part of you tried to accept them, let it go, for you knew exactly what you were getting into when you married him.

And the other…

“I can’t… I don’t feel comfortable being away while you and my family are in danger!”

“This is no different from any other mission I’ve gone to, or that your family has.” Naoya attempts to console you, but both knew that wasn’t the trutht. “What is it? What is it that has you like this?”

“…I…I don’t…I don’t know.” You begin slowly, hesitant to admit your thoughts in fear that they might become true. To painful to even consider it! “I just… have this awful feeling that something bad is going to happen soon.”

“Like what?”

“Please don’t make me say it.”

Naoya didn’t need more to understand, and such, leans closer to you, enough to wrap his arms around you and gently place a kiss on the top of your head.

“…Nothing will happen. I swear. I will contact you whenever possible so you’ll be at ease. And if there’s any change, I’ll let you know as well. I promise.”

“…Please?”

“Of course, princess.” He smirks, now kissing your cheek. “I wouldn’t even dream otherwise.”

“You haven’t called me that in a long time.” You silently admit; his words lift some of the burdening weight from your heart.

Not enough to free you, but enough for you to slightly jest at him.

“Well, our little Naomi kind of inherited it, didn’t she?”

“She’s well deserving of it. It fits her.”

“Technically you’re my princess, and she’s our little princess.”

“…I guess so, if you put it that way it kind of makes sense.”

Silence engulfs the two for a brief moment soon after, motivating Naoya to hug you even tighter.

“Everything will be fine, Y/N. It’s nothing but a situation that… got a little bit out of hand, but nothing I can’t handle. That’s all.

Just remember that my father is involved too. And…” as much as he hated admitting it, the old man was a very talented sorcerer. A good decision was made by considering him. “Gojo-kun is also there too, and everyone knows there’s no one stronger than him. As for your sister… well, she’s quite a force to be reckoned with too.”

“I never thought I’d come to hear you compliment them, ever!” You tease, he scoffs, slightly embarrassed.

“I just want to make you happy.” Naoya silently admits, placing his fingers underneath your chin and lifting your gaze to his. “You mean the world to me; I don’t know what I would do if you—if you… I can’t lose you. I can’t.”

“Then hurry up back home.” You pout, a tear sliding down cheek. “Please, for me. For the kids.”

“Promise me to always send me pictures of you and the kids. It’ll serve me as motivation as to why I even bother doing all this…” He frowns. “…And to let me know if you’re ok. You’ll be secured there with some of my men, but I still wish to hear it from you.”

“You don’t have to worry about that. I’ll send you so many, you’ll ask me to stop!”

“Now, mochi, no need to say fallacies we know won’t happen.” He teases back, which you respond with a giggle before quieting down, the realization that his impending departure is near.

“May the gods bring you back safe to me.” You silently pray, pressing a kiss on his lips to seal your protection charm, the one you’ve previous on prior occasions and has always worked—or so you believed.

The same one you desperately hoped would work this time around as well, especially after beginning to hear the horrific loses Shibuya had brought along.

From the death of your beloved friend Nanami to Gojo’s unprecedented sealing, you remained on edge as you tried your best to keep constant communication with Naoya, trying to figure out if any of these happenings had affected him one way or the other, praying that nothing would befall him.

Eventually cursing yourself when realizing you had unknowingly called a bad presage into reality when Naoya one day, without previous warning, directly and sternly, sends you the following message:

“My father died in Shibuya. I am now clan leader.”

To congratulate him given the circumstances of his death felt out of place, if not incredibly imprudent—even if this was his biggest dream.

It just came to you so… unexpectedly, though some would say that incidences would occur in such conflict. Perhaps it was Naobito’s time to leave this earth.

And yet, another part of you decided to take this as a warning, a reminder that this was no common attack. Not if it was capable of claiming the life of someone so skillful as your father-in-law.

…

What did any of this mean for Naoya? Is he safe? Is he ok? Has he been injured? Where was he right now?

But most importantly, what is he going to do now that is Leader of the Zen’in clan?

Did this mean that you were finally able to return with him? After so many days of homesickness, would you be able to see your husband in person?

…

Or… or did this just made things even worse for your family, forced to remain away until things cooled down, because you were now a bigger target?

“It’s still not safe. With Gojo-kun’s sealing… the clans have been nothing but a mess; and apparently that’s just the tip of the iceberg. There seems to be a deeper plan unfolding in the background—We still don’t know what for, but I know for sure one thing: I wouldn’t dare endanger you.”

“…Ok. I understand” You dejectedly agree, forced to remain behind as you lonely mourn the death of your friends, or the unknown fate of one of them.

Well, at least your family was relatively safe. Your siblings sustained injuries, but nothing they wouldn’t be able to heal in due time. You could only wonder the stresses your father had to deal with now that the Gojo clan was rendered nonexistent… Was someone trying to nominate Satoru’s replacement?

…

You wished you could do more. Longed to not feel as useless as you did nowadays, more so since Naoya’s messages turned to be fewer and fewer as time passed…

But at least he still responded. Took a little bit of his time to let you know that he was fine. Busy, perhaps a partial lie, but ultimately alive.

Just a matter of days and you’ll be back in his arms, with your children, and the little bundle growing inside you. Where you belonged.

Unless… fate was to cruelly decide otherwise.

“Naoya, I… haven’t heard from you in quite a while. I just… hope you’re ok and not overworking yourself. Naomi, Naori, Naoko and Naoyuki miss you. Please let me know how everything is doing as soon as you can. I love you”

…

“I don’t want to bother you, nor distract you from your duties. But I’m very worried about you Naoya, you haven’t answered any of my messages or calls. And… and I can’t shake this feeling that something horrible happened. Please answer me, Naoya, I can’t take the thought of you mot—

Just let me know if you’re ok, please. I love you.”

…

“Please, just give me a sign that you’re alive. I beg you, Naoya. I can’t take this anymore. I feel so lonely without you. I always do, but today… today it feels worse. Please, if just a letter, you don’t even have to write a whole message. Just a dot or something. Anything!

Just… anything so I can know you’re fine. Alive. Please. I beg you”

…

“Please. Please. Please. Naoya, answer me. Please. We love you.”

…

…

“Please. For our baby. Please.”

…

…

…

“…Naoya?”

Obviously I wanted to make it tragic and say that Naoya died; but how did he die? By being in Shibuya? Maybe. Maki? That means he still would've been a jerk! akjgkags

Also, I believe he didn't tell Y/N that he wasn't actually clan leader because... I don't know, pride. It's what he wanted all his life, after all! Maybe he hoped to fix that before meeting up with you again, and that's how he died :) OOF

Anyways, I hoped you enjoyed this little "what if" piece. I still have another Shibuya-centric oneshot to write 😏 maybe that could add on to this one? Thankfully, the good things about these prompts is that they're not really connected to one another, they could all essentially be read individually hehe nice.

Now, thank you so much for sending in this ask; take care and hope to see you soon!!!

[dorky-kawa]

unrealized dream and themes in jjk's ending

For a manga whose core, repeating messages are 'betting on the future' as well as 'people aren't weapons,' the ending of jjk is thematically disillusioning.

I see and understand the interpretation of the ending as uplifting in the sense that even though the cycle of curses continue, even after all the terrible things that happened, jujutsu sorcerers can stand up and continue to forge ahead; and the next generation has stepped forward with adults around that care for them.

At the same time, it is not unfair to read deeper and take a holistic look at the state of jjk world at its end to realize that ultimately, everyone remains cogs in a system that is not really trying for any revolutionary changes.

The thing is, for the students and everyone that survived, this is a good ending from their perspective. For things to keep going, to go back to normal, only that some things are going to be better. For them, they are ending on an optimistic note.

The readers can feel differently because we know about Gojo's dream of resetting jujutsu society with strong and clever allies. The problem with Gojo's plans, however, lies in that he never told any of these strong and clever allies about this dream (except for Ichiji), probably because he never saw himself dying in these plans. The way Gojo spoke about it, it's most likely he saw himself at the forefront leading the charge with his students supporting him. Yet, with him gone, no one can continue his dream for him.

Despite 271 apparently being titled "Continuation of a Dream," in reality, they can only continue a shade of Gojo's dream. The next generation has the inherent goodness and kindness that Gojo always envisioned, but they (and the remaining adults) don't have the entire vision, which was what Gojo had.

Having people with good intentions of changing things for the better without having actual directions for how/what to change results exactly in the state of jujutsu society in the ending: a world with better people leading some slighter better versions of life for themselves, while remaining stuck overall in a system that is minimally changed in the long term in any meaningful way.

That's what chapters 269 and 270 show us. Charles is writing his manga. Noritoshi is happy with his family. Gakuranji tells Utahime everyone is still young.

Hiruguma is resigned to keep living (but he's going to be 'used' or 'worked to the bone as a sorcerer'). NSS is now safe to use, which will save the lives of many sorcerers (but the students are still not free from being 'tools' in this world of sorcery).

All the characters are given small personal victories in the ending, but their endings are not entirely happy either. Still, it's good enough to lull them to be hopeful. It's enough for them to not think about the fact that they still exist in the cycle.

The characters are alive and well and satisfied with where they are at, because without knowing Gojo's dream, this is a good place they are at right now ('it's the best we can hope for' thinking). Gojo and the readers ar the ones who would probably still be unsatisfied with how not enough is being changed, who feel they could set their sights on more. Except Gojo's also happy to stay his airport with his one and only

Finally, I think it also gets us readers that the ending has been portrayed in such blindingly hopeful manner; we don't see any of the characters acknowledging how grim the whole concept is in terms of perpetuating cycles and all. If only they acknowledge it only to utlimately refute it in the name of perseverance and the human expereince of overcoming adversity. Something like Yuuji saying 'we are all born with curses, and we cannot break away from them, but this is how we will live on, even in this cycle of curses.' That would have been more palatable, at least to me (ofc, full leaks aren't out yet).

Also, can I just say that we never saw anyone go north. What does that say about a manga about fighting for change when every single character has chosen to remain who they are?

Final note: I also want to say that this post is just talking about themes and Gojo's dream in jjk's conclusion. I'm not going to even try to touch on character interactions in the ending at the same time.

[chaewberry]

complete guide; how to move on from your ex (failure guaranteed!).

pairing; uchiha shisui x reader word count; 4.1k tags; breaking up and getting back together, explicit sexual content, from lovers to exs back to lovers again, humor, civilian reader. chapters; 2/5 read chapter 1

read on ao3!

Kenji was a menace both to society and to you, respectively.

You usually spend the Sundays where you didn’t have to work in a lackadaisical manner; you’d wake up early enough, your biological clock fried to shit, and put a vinyl record on while foraging whatever food you could find inside your cupboards and fridge in order to eat something resembling a nutritious meal. Like Rin would often insist on drilling into your head amidst meetings and consultations and poor attempts at cornering you in the storage room while you were busy side stepping through the chain of command just so that you could get what you needed for your patients through morally corrupt means, “breakfast is the most important meal of the day!”

After that, with music playing the background, the arduous chore of half-assedly cleaning the apartment took priority before you crashed from the lack of caffeine you were so used to having at work, all day, every day, watery and lukewarm and with the probability of someone having used a sock as a filter to make it in the breakroom. When that time came, you’d abscond into the bathtub, steeping inside the boiling water like an overpriced fucking tea-bag — you’d lay within the confines of your watery, heavy grave for an hour and then you’d get out, smelling of honey and wheat, and then you’d have the rest of the day to plan out.

 Of course, most Sundays ended up with you laying on your couch reading anything you could get your hands on; magazines, old books you had bought but never cracked open, medical essays Rin or Tsunade had left on your desk, personal essays from the multifaceted writers in the capital, poems so pretentious that they ruined your mood to read, manga you had borrowed from the library, the pages yellowed and stained with what you hoped was coffee or tea or milk. If the pages stuck a bit too much together you left the manga alone — you were around teenagers all year round in the hospital, you knew what lack of shame tasted like in the air you breathed.

Speaking of shame, or lack thereof.

“Put that back where you found it.”

“Why?”

“Because I said so.”

“Why?”

Kenji, you found, was an intricate presence in your life; you were proud to say that you had managed, in those meager six weeks of companionship, to master the whims and wills of the face behind the man. The naked truth thinly veiled behind his childish antics had you doubting his status as a formidable shinobi of the village some days, for no one should be that open about intentions and purposes.

But here Kenji was, on a Sunday morning at the crack ass of dawn, sitting on your tatami floors with nothing but a pair of black sweats on, smelling of your shampoo and soap and smiling like a little fucking kid as he played with a tanto sword harness you had forgotten at the bottom of your closet. Should you admonish him for digging around your closet? You thought of it, but then you had to keep up the ruse of pretending to care about stuff like that.

You knew you lost the privilege to indulge in self-deception when you walked in on him trying on one of your creamy, frilly bras. You had only blurted out, “you’re too busty.” before moving on from the more harrowing events of the day and onto better ones.

Even so, he kept being a meddlesome old man — you told him so.

“I’m not that old,” he refuted, not sounding insulted in the least, flinging the harness to the side. It thumped against the next to the couch you were lying on and fell down on the floor. You blinked down at it, eyes following the familiar patterns, the latch that Shisui used to fasten on his shoulder and behind his back, the marks, nicks and burns. It wasn’t unsalvageable, and the same went for his spare kunai ripping a hole in the box that you had all but shoved underneath the bed.

That bastard still hadn’t come to clean up his shit from your house — you were left with momento’s and reminders everywhere your eyes strayed.

It wasn’t until Kenji bend down to pick up the harness, a stifled sigh escaping past his lips, that you had been sitting on the couch staring at the piece of clothing like a fucking widow. Immediately, you sat back down on the pillow and resumed your reading. You could still see Kenji, feel him as he moved around the house, towards your bed. He grabbed the box without much fanfare and threw the harness inside, his posture lax as he took in the other items that you had stored in there the past few weeks you’ve been cleaning the house.

Obviously, Kenji had known all along that this was underneath your bed. He had never spoken if it; items that irrefutably belonged to someone else, the shirts that hanged too loose on your frame, the supernumerary amount of medical supplied underneath the sink in the bathroom, the scattered shinobi grade shirts and vests you had fastidiously washed the blood off and placed them in your closet, buried underneath your own clothes, one plate too many, one cup too many, extra cutlery you wouldn’t possibly used all on your own.

You had tried, meticulously so, to scrub down the traces left behind but ignored the first rule of breaking up with someone — undoubtedly, Shisui himself should have come to pick up his stuff, but, then again, he wasn’t the only one suffering through such ill-advised behaviour.

You could barely remember what it was that you had left abandoned at your ex’s house inside the Uchiha compound. Some questionable reading material you had left behind on purpose. A few plates, maybe, some vinyl records you brought with you whenever the mood hit and the two of you orchestrated a little get together amongst friends and in which afterwards Shisui would succeed fucking your brains out on his tatami floors, whatever music playing in the background mingling in with hiccuping sobs and the sound of Shisui laughing down at your face as you took and took. He’d lean down to lap at the drool at the corner of your mouth, lick away the tears clamping your eyelashes.

( “Fine; let’s break up. You’ll have to tell me why though. What am I supposed to tell our friends when they ask?”

You waited as a second passed by, two, three seconds, to feel that familiar pull in the air, the wrapping of space, for Shisui to pop up carelessly close to you and laugh at the false bravado you were putting up.

Just kidding, he’d say — but you could never predict him, even if you expected him.

Shisui was silent for a moment, black curls sticking to his forehead and nape. He smiled, “I’ve decided I don’t want to love you anymore.”)

Kenji didn’t stop there. He turned to you, casting an insolent, analytical glance from head to toe before walking back to stand over you like some sort of half dressed deity of premature ejaculations (“that was one time!)  and an outrageous amount of superior wrist game.

 “Stand up,” he said, smiling like a lunatic while looming over you.

You gulped. “Why?”

“Just stand up.”

Slowly, you did as he asked. Kenji hauled your arms up in the air. Before you could think of a response, quicker than you could blink or formulate a thought regarding his shenanigans, he grabbed the bottom of the shirt you were wearing, black, too big for you, and yanked it up and over your head, leaving you consequently naked except from the black panties you were wearing.

He left you, gaping like a fish out of water, and stalked right back towards the box, dropping in the now rumpled shirt you’ve been wearing for the past three days, before promptly kicking the box underneath the bed once again.

You crossed your arms over your bare chest. “What the hell?”

“Mn,” Kenji said, bending down to deliver a nasty, slobbering kiss on your lips. “How about we take breakfast out today?”

Taking breakfast out in Kenji’s book meant shoving you through the half rotten doors of an establishment whose mere existence should be put down on the village’s records as the source of plagues and public virus outbreaks for the last three years at the least. Once inside, you dared not open your mouth to breathe for fear of catching a fatal illness passing by with the wind. The vapors Kenji characterized as ‘old unfiltered oxygen’ were anything but.

“Can we leave?” you asked, wretched, fixing the surgical mask so it didn’t cut uncomfortably at the sensitive skin underneath your eyes.

Whoever owned this shitty backwater so called breakfast joint should cease to exist effective immediately and his existence marked down in history books for being a danger to societal hygiene and a menace in the overall health of the village.

“No.” 

Kenji shoved you into a booth, the broken, tattered leather creaking underneath your weight and his bulking form as he took a seat opposite of you. The table itself was clean, but marred with a myriad of marks and small dents you knew came from kunai being thrown. Two identical marks marred your kotatsu and even the small table in your kitchen wasn’t spared.

Fucking Uchihas.

You all but ripped the unfolded menu out of Kenji’s offering hands, skimming through the items listed with inked, smudged letters. On one side it listed a variety of breakfasts, followed by beverages. In the middle it contained foods, actual, honest to god foods one would order at a restaurant. Here, you gazed back at Kenji from the top of the menu. Already, you knew that his itching proclivities combined with his shit survival instincts would prove fatal for his future bowel movements.

As a nurse, it fell to you to suggest abstention from ordering something like food from a place such as this — as a bystander however, there would be nothing more amusing than watching Kenji form a sense of self-preservation.

Picking up a second menu off the side, Kenji seemed content in letting it lie uselessly in front of him while he swiveled his body to the side. “I thought you’d at least know about this place, you know,” the man suddenly spoke up, turning his head to address you, though his eyes seemed preoccupied with something else at the bar, the sound of glasses clinking together unmistakable.

“You thought wrong,” you drawled out. You sighed, let the worn out menu fall on the table pitifully. “I miss my kitchen.”

“You never cook,” Kenji hummed, smiling off to the side before turning back to you. He grabbed one of the two glasses left on the table and flipped it over, running a thumb over the rim. “I’ve never even seen you use the kettle - you drink everything cold because you’re a barbarian and too bored for the finer things in life.”

“That hardly proves anything.”

The bastard smiled, ever so amicable. “I’ve never seen you use any of the pots and pans either.”

“You don’t know that,” you fired back, though the lack of heat behind your words was certainly a give away. “You’re not a near constant presence in my apartment, are you?”

“Perhaps not - the frozen meals inside your fridge speak volumes, however.”

Okay. 

“Okay,” you said. A headache was beginning to throb behind your left eye. You pinched the bridge of your nose to stem it. “I take it back; I don’t miss my kitchen. There, satisfied?”

“I will never be satisfied,” Kenji shot back, unperturbed.

Kenji never reacted poorly to anything. He took everything in strides and with a less than a healthy dosage of impeccable acceptance.

“Be miserable, then,” you snapped, not knowing what else to say. 

Kenji, true to his nature, simply smiled; a crooked thing, almost full enough to be false. Kenji never smiled like he was telling a lie. It could be a show of mockery, of genuine pleasure, of trepidation, but never out of a need to plant and sow a lie. He was, in a way, surprisingly honest. It made your own lips curl upwards and your heart cry out with relief; you weren’t a heavy laying weight on his consciousness, and although he always took care of you before and after the intimate act, he took no burdens in lessening your own crisis of self.

You indulged in this depraved act together, and cast yourselves further down the path of no return, a sweet escape no more.

Your honesty never sprouted from words or even actions but only from the empty spaces in between. Kenji was a smart man; he could make up his own truths to fill in those spaces, his own lies. Your deliberate silence was your honesty.

“That’s the idea.”

He shoved a cigarette in your hands and offered you a light. You took it with grace - whatever the fuck Kenji deiced to unravel in this hole in a pile of shit diner that was sidelining as a bar had admittedly shook your own crisis to the surface. It was your last day off before you had to go back mucking up puke and blood from the floor and having to watch grateful parents wheel healthy kids past despairing ones. 

Your fingers shook. You found the urge, abruptly, to bludgeon the man to death. “What the fuck is your problem. You asked me out.”

Kenji hummed. He grabbed the jag and poured water in his glass, sliding it over to you — urging you, perhaps, to drench him with it, and staying silent.

You wanted to press him, drive him into a corner and maybe put the cigarette out in his eye in a fit of bestial rage. You only barely managed to swallow around the knot in your throat before a server came up to the table —  a boy a few years younger than you with short hair caressing the back of his neck and glasses sitting high upon his nose. He ran his slanted eyes over at Kenji, promptly ignored him, and turned to you with a thin assemblance of a smile that screamed bare minimum customer service.

“What can I get for you?”

With fire shimmering underneath your skin, you just barely managed to utter; “waffles, just put whatever on top.” before going back to stewing, opting now to bite the end of your cigarette instead of sucking out the smoke from it like a starved animal sucking out bone marrow from its most recent kill.

The boy only blinked at you, scribbled down your order and turned to Kenji, finally.

Kenji, for his part, immediately seemed to forget all about living in the thralls of misery. With a too wide smile he ordered the medium spice curry and a hot coffee to the side. He didn’t take his eyes off the waiter until he disappeared behind the kitchen door before turning back to you, blinking down at the chewed cigarette in the ashtray. “I’ve decided to apologise. I was in the wrong, please forgive me.”

“You have a personality problem, you know that?”

“Alright, alright,” he murmured in an attempt to placate you. “I’ll buy you strawberries on the way home, okay? Drink some water.”

You drank some fucking water.

“Honestly,” Kenji spoke up. “You should look to invest in some calming herbal teas.”

“You’re part of the reason I’m halfway through popping a blood vessel,” you snapped, slamming the glass on the table. “Are you my fuck buddy or a leech?”

“Is there a quota on how many times you can see your rebound in a week? Can’t I hang out with my part time lover, part time friend outside of office hours?”

Without waiting for your reply Kenji leaned forward and took the cigarette from between your fingers, stabbing it out on the ashtray just before a plate filled with spicy curry was all but unceremoniously thrown at the table. The server with the slanted eyes was looking less than pleased, pointing at the ‘No Smoking’ sticker that had seen better days glued to the glass window next to Kenji’s head.

“Ah, Satoru,” Kenji’s voice came out almost as a purr. “Please forgive me - my eyesight is not what it used to be in my old age.”

But Satoru didn’t seem to be in a particularly forgiving mood. He set down your own plate with pancakes with more grace than you probably deserved for indulging Kenji’s bullshit and took out a different notepad from the pocket of his apron, sprawling out something on a piece of paper. For a brief moment you expected Satoru the Server to slap Kenji with said paper, but the young man simply set it next to the plate of curry before placing a cup of hot coffee on top of it.

“Don’t be sorry,” he said, shoving the notepad and pen back into his pocket, “be better.”

The contents of the paper had you swallowing down a fresh wave of laughter.

“Quick question,” you said, turning back to observe Kenji after Satoru stalked back into the kitchen. “You wouldn’t happen to harbor explicit thoughts about wanting to fuck our server, would you?”

He gasped. “You make me sound like the lecherous husband who prays on young boys while he leaves his wife home to rot. You wound me, beloved.”

“I hope Satoru spat in your food.”

“You think so?” Kenji asked wistfully.

Nevermind.

After that you two ate in silence. To your begrudgement, the pancakes tasted heavenly, nearly melting on your tongue. Kenji seemed to enjoy his breakfast curry for his part as well, looking all too pleased at the hastily scrawled fine he had grasped in between his fingers, eyes going over the messy spots the pen had left from the overleaking ink. You remembered what he said; in love with someone thirteen years younger than him, not knowing what to do, where to stand and when to stop, starving enough to risk snapping a bone or two to suck the marrow out.

You said nothing, scooping up a forkful of his curry, tasting it, then taking a second bite because it was fucking delicious. Kenji reached over with his spoon and took half a pancake with him, leaving behind smudges of the thick brown sauce on the corner of your plate. Surprisingly, curry with pancakes blended well inside your mouth, and perhaps your taste buds were proving to be as unrefined as you had grown to be the last few weeks.

Afterwards, a struggle ensued; both you and Kenji were drastically knocking each other down in a feud for the bill. It was no less embryonic than it was cathartic when you managed to shove the end of your spoon in a stray nostril and walked off with the bill, specks of Kenji’s blood on the outside of your palm and a litany of swears coming from behind you as you trekked towards the counter with the hard worn and torn in half bill in hand.

Satoru, for his part behind the counter, didn’t seem the least alarmed at the scuffle, nor did he spare a second glance at the bloodied bill you handed him along with the money -- he had reserved, instead, all the ensemble of life he could master behind his beautifully slanted dark eyes to scrutinize your person from head to toe. 

You did the same, though not unkindly.

Satoru appeared to be just a few years younger than you, probably just starting out his twenties, with a stubborn, childish bit of fat still hanging on to his cheeks. The antithesis of his appearance with the look he harbored inside his eyes as he scoped you out nearly made you laugh  you would have, were you any less kind.

Patiently, you waited for your change, and you waited, impassively, for a question.

Satoru handed you your change. “Tell Kenji he’ll need to go to the police station to pay off the smoking fine.”

You grinned. “I’ll tell him - sorry about that, by the way, I didn’t see the sign.”

“It’s fine,” he grunted, watching you as you made to grab your wallet out of your bag, dropping it, picking it up and then dropping it again in quick succession. “Are you a family member?” he almost looked ready to hurl as he asked.

You wondered, briefly, if this was the reason Kenji brought you out to eat here today.

“No, I’m a pediatrician” you supplied helpfully, slipping the money inside your wallet along with the receipt. 

“Oh,” Satoru blinked, “right.”

“How long have you and Kenji known each other?”

“...not long; a few years, give or take.”

“Hm. What were your first impressions of him?”

This time the younger man didn’t hesitate to answer you, “a no good shinobi with too much time at his hands. He basically kidnapped me.”

“That’s just not true, my dear Satomi.” You turned to Kenji, standing behind you and smiling ludicrously wide. “I bribed you.”

Satoru’s expression soured. “Die, please.”

Kenji cooed at Satoru and the boy all but kicked you out of the establishment.

“Is romance lost on you,” you mocked now, walking side by side with Kenji on the way to your house.

“You suck.”

“You wish.”

“No wonder your last beau left if that is how you treated them,” he said, positively dismal. 

You readily agree. “Yeah, I must’ve been a pretty shitty significant other.”

Kenji insisted on walking you home after breakfast, just as he insisted on buying you ice-cream and making you wait ten steps behind him as he ruffled through the magazine stand outside the konbini near your house, cramming issues upon issues underneath his arm with a look of somber severity. He paid for them, shoved them in a plastic bag, and then jabbed the aforementioned bag in between your fingers.

He made a point by saying, “read those.” but firmly stopped you from actually doing so when you went to see what kind of perverted shit he had bought. The amount of questionable and morally bankrupt reading material you found underneath the pillows of teenagers in the hospital far surpassed whatever quota you had set for yourself in this life, and the stickiness in between some of the pages were almost enough to make you reconsider giving them some of those little shits less of their described pain medicine - but you were, above all else, a slave to your job and the oath Tsunade had made you spit out in between clacking teeth and a heavier than lead tongue that soaked in the cheap sake she kept underneath her desk for emergency celebration. Or so she said when had unceremoniously thrown you down on the couch like you were yesterday’s corner whore and shoved the bottle down your throat, shouting shrill congratulations.

Shisui had to carry you home after finding you wandering the streets like a widowed ghost. At the time, nothing more than a passing acquaintance you met through Rin and, consequently, Obito, the man had graciously ignored your comments about your taste in men in uniforms and completed his duty as an officer and safely deposited you back into the safe confines of your apartment where you spent the next day detoxing, making a blood pact with the reflection in the bathroom’s mirror to never let another drop of that toxic waste Tsunade called alcohol touch your lips, and also avoid Rin’s reasonably handsome family friend like the fucking plague and hate him on principle.

Evidently, your own self had proven to be your most wretched adversary.

“You suck,” you told Kenji, voice scratchy and eyes moist.

How very not nonchalant of you.

He planted a wet one on your cheek. “ And swallow.” 

.*.

You dumped the magazines directly on top of your bed, your hair still dripping wet after your shower, dressed in nothing but a pink fluffy towel and the slippers on your feet. You eyed the various covers with mounting interstate as you ran a towel through your hair. You nudged them away from each other to better see them with your foot and paused when one in particular caught your eyes. Dropping the towel from your head you sat down on the bed, face unconsciously pulling up into a grimace. You flipped the magazine, settling on a random page, and felt one of your bottom eyelids starting to tick.

“Trying Being FWB Before Fully Breaking-Up!”

Surely not.

You threw the offending magazine somewhere over your shoulder. You heard it hit the wall, fall down —  you didn’t concern yourself with it, only focusing on latching onto another one. There was a beautiful model splayed artistically over the cover, blonde hair curled to shit, thick and glistening against the glare of the camera and the lights. Only her mouth was visible underneath the main; small, pouty lips pushed apart for the tongue to make an appearance. You opened it right into the middle.

“It’s Time to Stop Asking for Space, and Start Ending Your Relationship.”

Next magazine, on a random page, ‘ Date Them, Even If You Know It Won’t Last Long.” , and the page after that, “The Best Sex Toys of The Year.”

You were going to fucking murder Kenji.

[aihoshiino]

So I actually only just found out that OnK ended and I think I only read up to where S1 of the anime finished, so imagine my horror when I learned that not only did AquaRu happen (technically? I know there was a kiss, at least), but that Aqua dies after coming up with what's probably the stupidest plan I've ever heard of. I'm going off of this from the wiki, btw, so feel free to correct me if I'm missing anything, but I thought this story was going to be a critique on the entertainment industry mixed in with a "catch the killer" plot when I first started, yet it just looks like nobody learned anything by the end of it and the villain's defeat was underwhelming.

Good news! AquRuby did not really happen.

Bad news! AquRuby did not really happen.

Honestly, to this day, I have no idea wtf Akasaka was cooking when it came to the AquRuby stuff... my best guess is that because Oshi no Ko was influenced pretty strongly by Mengo's past works & Aka was trying to emulate some elements of it (to good effect, sometimes!) the AquRuby stuff was inserted to appeal to her and it actually playing out on page was them being like "lalala, playing with our toys" and wasn't ever something the two of them took really seriously.

By coincidence I ended up rambling about this off tumblr the other day, so I'll just grab what I said and slap it here so I'm not just repeating myself;

I'm gonna be so real, I don't think an AquRuby ending was ever something anybody on the series including Mengo ever took all that seriously as a direction the series was going to take. Despite what a lot of people will try and tell you, Ruby and her relationship with Aqua were just never really written remotely in the sort of way you would build up your endgame heroine. Prior to 123 it wasn't really something the series tabled in any meaningful way and even past 123, Ruby's apparent attraction to Aqua is largely just played as shallow brocon gag fodder. It's only when the manga talks about her love for Gorou that it takes her remotely seriously and even then that's dropped like a rock past 150 and never addressed again. The biggest red flag for me though is that the series never actually addresses the concept of incest in the context of Aqua and Ruby's relationship. It is the one big major roadblock to a hypothetical romance between them but the roadblock that is actually, textually floated by the narrative is Gorou and Sarina's past life age gap which is, as Ruby repeatedly asserts, no longer an issue. It's honestly bizarre to see a series have a whole ass subplot about a character falling in love with their blood related twin and pursuing it to the point of forcing a kiss on them and just... never ever address the concept of incest??? It ends up feeling kind of deliberate - like, Akasaka knew that the second the obstacle that is the social taboo of incest came up on-panel it would be the death knell for being able to shiptease AquRuby (and thus, get clicks and attention from hyping it up for better or worse). So we get the... whatever the hell he was cooking that happened on page.

[In response to a comment asserting that Ruby was "absolutely written as the main heroine" as refutation to the above;]

When I say that Ruby was not built up as the main/endgame heroine, I mean moreso in the sense that for over half of the manga, she and Aqua just... don't really have a relationship that is given weight and consequence in the story in comparison to their individual relationships to the other characters. Even before the story was seriously teasing the idea of a romance between them this was always a point of critique in the fandom - hell, if you go back and read comments on it from around 2022 onwards, Ruby's sidelining and the lack of meat to her and Aqua's relationship is always something people have (imo, rightfully) had issue with. And like, sure, maybe Akasaka just wanted her status as the final/true heroine to be a surprise but even if that's what he was going for, there were tons of opportunities in the first 120+ chapters of the manga to properly sow those seeds. I know this is The low hanging fruit to point at and I know we're all aware that Aka deliberately orchestrated this moment to make sure Aqua and Ruby wouldn't discover each other's past identities before he decided it wanted to happen, but it's still characterization that Aka chose to put on the page and informs Aqua's character - Akane and Ruby found a literal dead body and instead of checking in on his sister, Aqua chose to spend time with (and kiss!) Akane. It would've been extremely easy to include Ruby more prominently in moments like chapter 68 when Aqua thinks about living a normal life free of revenge, or when Gorou confronts him in 65 about his 'happy life filled with love'. Even in the anime which makes a point of emphasizing Ruby more in Aqua's 'happy memory' montage from chapter 50's material fails to do this. Or hell, maybe even have it be a point of conflict during the AquAka 'real dating' period, that he ends up prioritizing Ruby more than Akane to a degree that it causes conflict in the relationship and clearly betrays where his real feelings lie. But none of that really happens. Hell, even after 123, Aqua and Ruby still barely interact and all the newfound intensity in that relationship comes primarily from Ruby doing brocon gag bits every time they make eye contact. Even the kiss is difficult to really take seriously because it has absolutely zero impact on Aqua and Ruby both individually and as a duo. It does not affect any change in the series whatsoever to the point where I legit don't even know whether it's been retconned out of continuity or not. That just doesn't feel to me like a 'main heroine' whose feelings and relationship to the main character are being taken seriously by the author. That's why the whole "btw i was reincarnated to be ruby's attack dog them kms" resolution at the end of the series feels so jarring and would have done with or without any AquRuby ship teasing. It was the story trying to cash cheques vis-a-vis the twins' relationship it hadn't bothered to write.

[goddessofwidsom]

After finishing the manga of Tokyo revengers you went  to indulge yourself in a drink.Suddenly gunshots was heard outside and a bullet shattered your window.Piercing your skull you had died from a stray bullet.You awoken in a cold sweat lying in a soft bed.You took deep breaths and tried not to hyperventilate.You swore you just died was it a vivid dream.You can’t believe this tears pricked your eyes.Threatening to fall you prayed it was a dream all of it.And that you woke wake up you pinched yourself.Hard enough to sting crescent marks imprinted on your skin.Breath in breath out you repeated in your head.Like a never ending mantra finally.You managed to calm down you shakily sat up.forced to digest all of this information at once. 

You have to investigate this new place you explored exiting your bedroom.You saw a basic living room and kitchen.Normal necessities nothing out of the ordinary.You gingerly walk back to your room.You inspect for any information about you.So far you found that your name is Y/n L/n from your original world.And your body is fairly the same.You also found out from managing to unlock your flip phone it’s July 2005.Other information you gathered is that your body trained in various martial arts(judging from the metals with awards on them).And is known to be laidback, manipulative ruthless.(By reading your body dairy) her parents left her at a young age.Online you call out fake people and hack.You found out your body enjoyed coding. 

That’s enough for today your brain reached its peak capacity.You jump on the comfort of your bed.Dozing off instantly you overlooked the contacts in the messages.The next day you were awoken by loud ringing coming from the phone.You groggy sat up and picked it up.Seeing the contact Mikey almost made you think.You we’re hallucinating but no it was the one and only.Your in Tokyo revengers? Well shit you ponder on answering or ignoring. 

But you hang up and do basic necessities you go through the closet seeing tomboyish clothes and a school uniform.You put on the skirt below your knees that’s a simple black.And thigh high socks along with.A simple white blouse and a red blazer,A black tie loose around your neck. 

 You sigh smoothing out the creases.Now all you have to do is think where is your school located.Hopefully muscle memory will save you slipping on plain white shoes you exit your abode.Turning familiar ways to this body.Finally you arrive to Mizo middle you internally cringe.Out of all the schools you could attend Takemichi? Really.Your not all surprised seeing how Mikey contacted you.Speaking of the devil someone slaps your neck. You whip your head around seeing a tuff of blond hair.

”Y/n-chin!!!” He exclaimed kola bear hugging you.Draken sighed rubbing his temple.Before prying Mikey off you unknowingly you been glaring.”Mikey stop acting childish” Draken scolded him Mikey pouted in return.”Big meanie Ken-chin humph!” Mikey refuted Draken simply let out a tired sigh. 

You tried to act normal like this body would and so you rolled your eyes.”Enough with the bantering I have work to do” You stated calmly and walked off. Little did you know his ebony eyes was glistening in adornment.You wandered in the school confused.Familiar coral colored hair gathered your attention.

”Ah—! L/n-san” She confirmed waving at you as she walked towards you.With a soft smile present on her face.She hugged you and then released you.”How are you doing today did you perhaps get lost again.” Hinata teased your face was so tinted a crimson red. “I did forget..” You admitted you would be lying if you said you weren’t happy that the prior owner of this body forgot there classes. 

“That’s okay L/n-san let’s go lucky we share the same class” She relayed grabbing your wrist and leading you away. Soon a class numbered 2A was in view.You kept that in mind for later.”We are here and this time don’t start!” Hinata lightly chided you.She walked in the classroom and you followed behind her.Talking turned into murmurs and people shy away from your gaze.Even the teacher was silent you sat beside Hinata.And the teacher didn’t say anything about you being albeit late.”Tachibana-san if you get late again it’s going to be a problem your two minutes pass curfew” The teacher net-picked at Hinata and that got under your skin. 

“For a sensei you sound biased if you won’t talk about me don’t talk about Tachibana-chan like that.” You asserted with a glare.”A-ah your completely correct L/n-sama I deeply apologize” The teacher stuttered over their words.You overheard a whisper. “So informal calling Hinata ‘chan’ when did they get so close,And did you see how Meiyuri-sensei cowered it was so funny” You processed the information you are proper.You guessed anyway the class smoothly continued with a few hitches.It was lunch break and you decided to explore but.

As you were exiting the building(to take a break from the noise)  you heard screaming.”KIYOMASA-SAMA CURB STOMP HIM!!!” A nobody yelled that certainly got your attention.You sighed rubbing your temples.After all that hard work you did you ached for a break.But they’re so loud you walked towards the drama.

Suddenly the voices increased in volume seeing you.And a beaten up Takemichi was astray on the floor. The mizo five middle worriedly looked at him. “Oi your so fucking loud why” You demanded an answer your ears hurt. He immediately bowed a perfect 90 degree angle.”B-because this punk asked to fight” You knew he was lying so you reeled back your fist.And punched him he passed out and his lackeys ran away.Before you could lend a hand to Takemichi Akkun grabbed him.And ran away with the other four.You sighed you fucked something up.If only you didn’t intervene.But those thoughts became short lived when a familiar voice was heard. “L/n-chin I like the beaten up boy what’s his name—!” Mikey pestered  at this point Draken was just tired of his antics.”Hanagaki Takemichi” You replied and walked off.Mikey grumbled and Draken stayed silent. 

You decided to skip school and try to make it home.But after a couple hours of walking.You realized you weren’t in Shibuya anymore.Flashing lights and loud noises was common in this area.You though it’s probably Roppongi.You sighed you wanted to backtrack but suddenly.”Hey what’s yer doing here ya new?” A boy with black and blond pigtail braids asked with a lazy smile.”I got lost” You truthfully answered knowing it’s Haitani ran.

”How?” He looked taken aback by your answer.You shrugged walking off ignoring him.You didn’t have time for that you need to leave.He didn’t do anything now you ended up deeper in a mess.Your in front of a club.Wondering about your next move.You needed to seek shelter for the time.And entered the club immediately you were swarmed.Then somebody pushed you on the ground.You sat up and dusted off your uniform.And glared at the person.

[danwhobrowses]

One Piece Chapter 1122 - Initial Thoughts

And we're back

A bit late, scanlations didn't come in my time zone yesterday and I've been unable to graft out time until now. Also My Hero's final chapter happened so I had to read that too.

But finally, back from another break in One Piece. It's 'getting off this island, this time, for real' time in Egghead, the Sunny still soars in the sky, Vegapunk's broadcast is still ongoing and there are some lingering factors still to consider.

Let's see how the chapter unravels them

Spoilers for the Chapter, Support the Official Release too

Sadly Yamato's cover story has been so boring that for a split second I got excited about seeing a Smoker cover story, but instead it's a redraw of an artwork (edit: a redraw of My Hero's mangaka's artwork, which is sweet), he looks badass though - Oda make Smoker badass more in the story! He and Tashigi need some Ws

Vegapunk's last reveal that the One Piece will decide the fate of the world has led to international worry, many not exactly thrilled with the idea that the fate of the world is likely gonna be in the hands of pirates

Pirates of course are happy, the world's smartest man just told everyone that the One Piece exists, there was more deniability when it came from a dying pirate after all

Impel Down are rambunctious, as Oda reminds us that the broadcast is piggybacking off of all Den Den Mushi whether people like it or not

Many misc Vice Admirals don't like that reveal either

Koby though, remembering his first encounter with Luffy, is forced to put himself at odds with his friend once more

Koby you know Luffy ain't like that can't you just resolve to stop his opposition?

Buggy meanwhile wins the hearts of his masses by refuting that it'll be 'his world' but rather 'our world'

His gesture at least spares him more assault from Crocodile and Mihawk - who it was really directed to

Devon and Augur are still with Caribou, asking Teach if they should kill him

Blackbeard seems willing to hear him out, which means a lot of worry awaiting Fishman Island and Wano

Vegapunk's broadcast is once again cut off after Vegapunk utters Joy Boy, with Warcury having once again damaged Emeth

As the giants call out to it's mecha kin, the Den Den Mushi inside explodes, ending the transmission once and for all

Up with the Sunny, V. Nusjuro makes chase, I guess he can gallop on air?

Zoro does prepare to confront V. Nusjuro but it's time for Emeth to do THAT JUTSU

He apologizes to Joy Boy and charges

He also apologizes to Luffy, realising that he's not the same person

What a spread though, it's like a painting seeing the Sunny flying overhead, the Gorosei's forms one side, Emeth in the middle and the longboat on the other, also with the reveal that Emeth is sorry that he couldn't make Joy Boy King

King of what though? It was implied that he led the Ancient Kingdom, perhaps he like Rocks wanted to be King of the World?

Emeth asks for Luffy's name, and he does his usual declaration

Pulling out a knotted rope, Emeth marvels at him having D. in his name

He unknots the rope, and an immense Conqueror's Haki emits from it!

Emeth thanks Luffy for letting it hear the Drums of Liberation once more, and demands that he doesn't die

The haki is so intense that not only does it revert the Gorosei to their human state, but it sends Warcury, V. Nusjuro and Ju Peter back to Marejois!!!

Mars is there waiting having been given the Manga's second successful space launch

Oh Shit! Imu even felt it, and they are rattled!

I wonder if this confirms that Imu is somehow connected to the Gorosei in some way?

Also we have a new shaded character acting as an attendant to Imu, wonder who that is?

The Sunny lands safely, much to the crew's relief

Only Saturn remains, staring down Emeth as he remembers an encounter with Joy Boy

Sadly it seems Joy Boy wasn't a giant, his silhouette is small and he must look Luffy-like

In the past Joy Boy tells Emeth that 'the time is at hand'

That Haki was Joy Boy's, which he embedded into a knot for Emeth to use, knowing that Emeth will likely outlive him

He permits Emeth to untie the knot when their life or someone's life that they care about is in danger, so they will be there to help

Joy Boy happily notes how it's like saving him with help from the past

Emeth seems to shut down once more, heartbreaking that his last memory is hoping that he won't feel lonely

Welp we pour one out for Emeth this chapter

This was an exciting chapter to come back to, and it once again puts Haki in a new perspective. Shanks has already shown that Conqueror's Haki can be utilised differently than just a shockwave or coating, but this was a lingering imbuement, something that stayed intact long after Joy Boy died, that is very fascinating.

The fact that Joy Boy's Haki could repel the Gorosei shows the ceiling Luffy and co need to get to as well, it feels like we've just breached the surface of how powerful Haki can really be, the will of the spirit, the quality of a King. And we have to mull on that, because being King does mean a lot, the end of the chapter shows Joy Boy - at least his silhouette - to be a caring person, focused on being able to help his friends, but what did Emeth want to make him king of? Was it Joy Boy's will to be king too or was it like a Whitebeard thing where he wanted to make Ace king? I'm not saying there's duplicity but the conflict between Joy Boy and the very shaken Imu could be a conflict of ruling philosophy, two extremes rather than a comfy middle ground. Food for thought at least.

With the threat of the Gorosei gone, minus Saturn we should still keep an eye on him (maybe Saturn didn't get sent back because he did technically sail there? The rest were summoned), the crew are safe to leave. But there's still other matters to deal with; the mother flame is still in Saturn's hands now, York that bitch is still alive, there's also the worldwide reaction and however Morgans wants to spin this (we never did get a reason to have a video feed from Vegapunk? Maybe his explanation of the D or the recent cutoff had the visual aids?) and there's whatever CP0 will do - I doubt Saturn will treat their and Kizaru's failures as unable to be helped, not to mention Sentomaru and Stussy's treachery.

The all out pirate war is on the horizon though, Koby looks like he's gonna step up again even if it means opposing Luffy, but as we leave Egghead the world is for sure about to be shaken more than it's ever been shook.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Trigun Stampede Character Thoughts: Vash

I've been putting off this write-up since I finished the show if for no other reason than whenever I go to analyze this funky little dude my entire brain just stalls and goes

✨ Hi, Vash. Hi. :) ✨

...anyways.

Here's a quick collection of thoughts on him now that I am finally more coherent! The hardest part of this was trying to make something readable with the sheer amount of things I could say about him. Geez.

(Please note that I have only watched Trigun Stampede! As of this moment, I am starting the manga and have not seen 98 Trigun. I thought it might be interesting to compare and contrast once I've read the manga. Bear with me in the meantime!)

Right off the bat, the show introduces us to who Vash is as a character - a pacifistic gunman who, while incredibly skilled, avoids confrontation when at all possible. When Meryl accuses him of running away out of fear, it's pretty quickly made apparent that, while it is out of some semblance of fear, it is not fear for himself. Rather, his concerns lie with other people's well-being first and foremost.

Or, really, his concerns lie near completely with other people's well-being. What happens to him is of very little consequence if it means everyone else is okay.

I want to talk about three different things when it comes to Vash, namely:

His incredible skill and competence

His terrible self-image

His solidly held pacifistic convictions

Skill and Competence

Ohhhh ok. So, I can't really comment on exact positions or maneuvers (I used to do martial arts pretty extensively, but it's obviously not the same kind and I know absolutely nothing about guns or marksmanship sorry), but I can sure tell you that I loved the way the animators had Vash move in episode 1 right before he pulls out his gun for the first time. I wish I knew how to make gifs properly because I would totally make one of that part. Even before Roberto's line that "acting brave is foolish" and "he's not long for this world" had finished, I was already convinced of the exact opposite. As someone who's done martial arts. Guys. The way he moves here.

It's a three step movement - he steps to the right, then to the left in an almost meandering way, shifting his body weight as he goes, before he grounds himself in a wide stance. It's slow, fluid, and calculated - a distinct contrast from his often jerky, exaggerated motions that we saw earlier. God I wish I had a gif. I don't think I can simply explain how insane it makes me. The animators could've just had him approach directly or run up to it - a lot of the times, with action heroes, there's a lot of flashy motion or jumping around, etc., which looks cool but isn't exactly something to be role modelling in an actual fight lol. But here? In the next episode, Nebraska mockingly says "this isn't the ballet" with regards to the dodging and spinning Vash does, but a lot of his motions... really are dance-like. He's damn near effortlessly shifting his center of gravity while remaining fluid in motion and completely balanced. No novice moves like that. He clearly has a lot of experience. For me watching, Roberto's line was refuted before he even finished it.

...which of course makes it even funnier when he realizes he's out of bullets. Oh, buddy. You looked so cool for a second there. Hjhdfnv

Really though, pay attention to the way he moves while fighting or shooting. He's always well-grounded, and the more serious the situation, the more fluidly and less exaggeratedly he moves. It's so, so cool. I don't know if I've quite seen that kind of motion in animation before, especially cgi (though it is possible I just haven't seen enough too...hehe...).

The episode 12 fight too! Again, Vash is balanced, even as he's being knocked backwards. He falls correctly, and allows his body to move with the gun. All his motions are precise and fluid. Contrast that to Nai, who is, uh... totally unbalanced lmao.

And then the way he tucks before he jumps out the window! The animation actually convinced me of this guy's over 100 years of experience. I actually believe it.

What's nice is that Vash, too, is aware of his own skill. He moves with a lot of confidence, and he clearly has a great degree of trust in his own ability to fight and shoot without seriously harming anyone - not once does he show the slightest bit of doubt in his abilities. One might expect, given Vash's refusal to kill, that he might be worried about accidental injuries when in the middle of a gunfight - but he isn't. Ever. The only way I can interpret this is complete confidence in his own abilities, and he most likely trained hard to specifically ensure that this would never be a concern. The trope of "character who doesn't want to fight or hurt people turns out to be really insanely skilled/strong" is always cool and fun, but in this context it's really a neat take on it, since I feel it is only because he refuses to kill that he intentionally developed such god-tier level marksmanship - I am going to go out on a limb here and assume it is much easier to accidentally inflict serious injury with a gun than it is to actively avoid doing so lol. He probably worked at being a really good fighter and gunman specifically so he could avoid killing.

I also find it kind of refreshing that he never calls his skills into question, since that does tend to happen with characters who have a poor self-image or low esteem. Which, uh, takes me to the next point.

Self-Image

Yeah, Vash's self-image is kind of in the gutter. He places the blame for all the tragedies that follow him on himself, despite the fact that he always puts in his full effort to prevent them from happening.

The majority of this ties back to his feelings of culpability for the fall. I want to direct your attention to the scene where Vash is digging the tally marks into the wall in episode 8 - it can't possibly be the number of days that have passed since we see the transition of the sun only twice and Brad looks shocked when he sees the all the tallies (which he wouldn't be if they had been there for that many days). With the way Vash's tallies look a bit like crosses and the fact that he greeted the people in cryosleep on Ship 5 by name in the first episode, suffice to say, he is probably making a tally of all the people who didn't make it through the crash - people whose deaths he feels personally responsible for.

Really, I wouldn't consider Vash even remotely responsible for any of that - he had the access codes but like. Zero intent or knowledge of what Nai was about to do with them. Regardless, Vash carries the guilt from it in the way Nai won't, because in his mind, someone needs to take accountability. Also important to remember is that the only reason any human being still lives on No Man's Land is because of Rem's sacrifice. Vash needs to maintain his belief in the capacity for human kindness and his no-killing code, because if he doesn't, her sacrifice would be in vain. He keeps her values and beliefs alive. She's in everything he does. Even hollowed out and stripped of his memories and identity, the mass of roots and flowers that engulf July take on her likeness.

So, really, in addition to Vash just being a generally compassionate soul, his staunch pacifism is a refusal to betray her beliefs and let his mother figure die a second time. I need to fucking lie down.

With all this strain he puts on himself, it's really not surprising that when tragedy inevitably strikes, he is very hard on himself, and from what we've seen this actually manifests in a set of consistent self-punishing behaviours - I am of course referring to episode 3's "I don't deserve to cry" and his refusal to eat in episode 4 (despite apparently needing to, unlike Nai). This is very similar to what we see in episode 8 with him as a kid, where he goes somewhat blank (no crying, no anger, all his negativity directed inwards and at himself) and refusing all food except what little he needs to survive because "it's a waste".

The worst part of this though, to me, is that we see from certain throwaway bits ("one bullet is two slices of pizza/two dozen donuts!", his kid self's eagerness at the sight of the birthday cake and the spread of food, his first question on seeing the geranium being to wonder if it is edible) that he not only needs to eat but also seems to enjoy eating - so his refusal to eat is not only a denial of a basic necessity but also of one of the few things he genuinely likes that he will allow himself to partake in. In the context of Rem framing food as something to share with everyone, it also makes me wonder if his self-denial is something along the lines of "I don't deserve to share this with them". In that sense, it's really important that Luida echoes a similar sentiment as Rem (implying she wants to share this food/include him, and that some of Rem's views survive in these remaining people).

I do wonder if, because food is associated with sharing to him, that it has something to do with needing to "earn a place at the table" in a way. While I think Luida was trying her best to juggle a lot on Ship 3 behind the scenes after the fall and clearly didn't want to keep Vash locked up like that, the crew only started treating him better and trusting him after he found a way to help them. The unfortunate view that Vash receives then is: "I need to earn their trust by being helpful." Vash is a chronic people pleaser - I can't think of a single point where he does something solely for his own benefit. He has no desire to scare or harm anyone (quite the opposite!) so he goes out of his way to be as helpful and non-threatening as possible - hiding his true nature as a Plant (to such an extent that he doesn't know anything about his powers and has effectively sealed them away - he's practically human), masking his facial expressions by cleverly hiding his face or letting the light reflect off his glasses, trying to laugh off his competence as luck and his scars as embarrassing.

Is it because he doesn't want to scare people? Is it because he doesn't want to feel othered from them? It's hard to say. It's probably a bit of both.

Nai accuses Vash of loneliness and desiring love, and of seeking to fill that gap by appeasing humans. While I don't think this is necessarily wrong, it can't possibly be accurate as a core motivation, since Vash doesn't seem to really... accept a lot of positive interaction. Whether out of concern for others' safety, a lack of feeling like he deserves it, being secretive about his past and identity, or some combination of the above, Vash tends to leave a lot. He leaves Jeneora Rock's celebration early, tries to walk away from Meryl even as she's calling out to him, runs away from Home when Brad and Luida listen to the recording. He throws walls up and distances himself by laughing things off, or smiling, or simply not explaining anything.

I mentioned this during my live blogging while watching episode 9, but as Independents, it's intriguing to me that both Vash and Nai exist outside the cycle of dependence we see between the Plants and the humans - both of which cannot survive without the other. Nai appears to revel in this detachment, but Vash also seems to self-impose a certain distance between himself and everyone else - for all his friendliness and inability to leave someone hanging who needs help, he practices a lot of recognizably avoidant strategies. He exists on the periphery, never staying in one place too long (he can't), and treating every interaction with a certain kind of resignation - an understanding that it is temporary. He seems to expect the inevitability of being chased out over and over. The slightest of kindnesses given to him he always feels incredibly grateful for. Perhaps he feels that kindness is more than he deserves.

I honestly dread to think how he'll react once he regains his memories of what happened to July. I trust that he'll keep pushing on, as he always does, but is he going to remember that he deserves to eat and smile?

I really hope so. Otherwise I will need Meryl and Wolfwood to bonk him on the head.

Pacifism and Conviction

The thing about Vash's pacifism is that it's very difficult to tell whether it is primarily motivated by love or guilt. Vash carries an incredible amount of survivor's guilt with him and he absolutely is doing his best to keep Rem's memory alive, but I don't think it can be denied that he isn't just acting out Rem's beliefs - he really does believe in them himself. He's also genuinely compassionate and does care and become invested in the well-being of others. In the end, I'm not sure it really matters. I don't think the guilt or love can be easily extricated from each other at this point; they are both powerful drivers of his actions and core to his identity as a person, and while this is not exactly ideal for getting him to be kind to himself, they both strongly feed into his continuous choice to be kind to others.

And it is a choice, not naivety, as pacifism is so often brushed off as. Vash's compassion is something he chooses over and over again, in spite of the way he is often treated, and the way his powers hold far more potential for destruction than even Knives. Wolfwood thinks that Vash doesn't understand harsh realities and is going to receive a rude awakening but he does understand - Vash just chooses not to accept violence as the only way forward and believes that things can change and improve, and is willing to expend that energy and extra hurt into making that a reality. Nai thinks Vash is helpless and brainwashed into his belief - note the way Vash frequently appears as his child self when Nai tampers with his Gate or his memories; the implication here is that Nai sees Vash as incapable of making choices for himself and in need of protection - but not only is this horribly demeaning to Vash's personhood, it simply isn't true. Even Meryl chews him out for what looked like running away to her early on, and Roberto thinks he's going to get himself killed sooner or later. Everyone underestimates Vash, at least at first. And well, it's easy to. He's just a silly little guy! He's a bleeding heart who tries to help everyone he comes across! He talks about nobody needing to die in a world where most everyone is starving and desperate! To the people in-universe, he would look like a total fool, and far too idealistic to last long.

Except, he has. He's around 150 years old, he's scarred to hell and back, but he's still alive and he still chooses kindness. That takes a special kind of improbable mental resilience and stubborn conviction - and that's what most of the other characters overlook. Vash is, indeed, very sensitive and emotional and an idealist - he's also much tougher and more rational than hardly anyone gives him credit for. He's an excellent judge of character too!

His ideals and that stubborn faith are everything that makes Vash who he is.

This scene in episode 12 is the only true moment of triumph in what is otherwise a tragedy all around. Nai would go as far as to destroy Vash’s very identity to get his brother back, but at the cost of losing everything that makes him Vash. These ideals are the core of “Vash the Stampede”, and no matter how foolish they may seem or how little others understand his conviction, this is an identity he has chosen for himself. It’s who he is. And this assertion, coming directly on the heels of Nai trying to erase him and remove that autonomy, is an undeniable brief triumph in the midst of it all. Nai will always be Vash’s brother, and he will always love him I’m sure, but they diverged in their persons a long, long time ago, and Vash adamantly refuses to be an extension of or accomplice to his brother’s crusade of hatred… even if that means going against him.

Vash’s kindness is so necessary to a world like the one we see in the series, on the verge of extinction and giving up. Approaching situations with understanding and communication is really the only way to help improve understanding amongst others - and this is one of his biggest strengths; it's even reflected in his use of his Plant abilities (communicating between himself and the other Plants, the way he can open a path both to and from the higher dimension unlike anyone else). In this way, Vash is something of a necessary conduit. I just wish he'd let himself feel a little more tbh. He represses a lot - he canonically won't allow himself to cry if he feels responsible, any flashes of anger are brief, he doesn't stick around to have fun really. Personally, I'd like to see him allow himself grief through tears, a little bit of genuine letting loose and celebrating, and actually expressing things like irritation and annoyance next season. Perhaps that's wishful thinking.

I don't know how to accurately summarize my thoughts on Vash well enough other than to say, in keeping with the whole Plant thing, he reminds me strongly of dandelions. Bright, cheery, grow through cracks and root where you don't expect them to ever be able to eke out a living. Regarded as a weed by many but very difficult to get rid of. Hardy, resilient, and pop back up after being beaten down. Kids make wishes on them.

Anyways. Hugs him hugs him hugs him x 60,000,000,000

[redsandspirit]

Makima does not control the Prime Minister and the Japanese government

I've noticed that it's become popular among Chainsaw Man fans to imagine Makima as the embodiment of evil who is responsible for all the bad things in this world. Due to misreading, people often spread their headcanons under the guise of reliable information, and one such belief is the theory that Makima controlled the Japanese government. Well, let's see if there is evidence of this in the manga.

I think it's worth starting with Kishibe's words from chapter 97, because in retrospect it may give a better understanding of the relationship between Makima and the Japanese government. Basically, he's saying that if the new Control Devil is raised by the government, she will become just like Makima. Regarding this dialogue, people often write it off because Kishibe doesn't literally say "they raised Makima", but the logic is that being raised by the Japanese government = becoming another Makima. I also don't think Tatsuki Fujimoto would add such a line without a reason, but for clarity we need to look at Makima's interactions with her superiors in the manga.

So, in chapter 6 we see Makima reporting to the higher-ups, and this scene alone is enough to say that the assumption that she has control over these people does not make any sense. The reason is that if they were puppets under her control, Makima would have absolutely no need to retell to herself the information that she already knows. This is not to mention how their conversation happens. Throughout the report, Makima stands and the superior threateningly hits his pen on the desk when he thinks Makima is acting out of line and then instructs her not to get attached to her subordinates.

In Chapter 22, Makima admits that the higher-ups are scary, and she is going to leave the room early and skip the luncheon just to avoid meeting them unnecessarily. Encounters with these people are stressful for Makima, and it is not how the person in control behaves.

Then there is one of the most popular Makima's quotes in chapter 33. In her conversation with the Yakuza, we learn that she considers herself a necessary evil collared and controlled by the state. So, Makima herself almost directly says she is a dog of the government, and it's hard to make that less ambiguous.

The last point I would like to draw attention to occurred in chapter 84. After learning of the unthinkable power that the Chainsaw Devil possesses, Kishibe assumed that Makima was going to use it to ruin the world. She asked if he really believe the Prime Minister would contract with such an evil Devil? Some fans I've met have unironically used this moment to argue that Makima forcibly forced the PM into a contract. However, if we try to read the page in its entirety, it is clear that she refutes Kishibe's assumption. Makima's words in the second panel imply that the Prime Minister wouldn't have signed a contract with her if she was as evil as Kishibe thinks she is (which again destroys the idea that she controlled the government). Makima then explains how her ability works in order to lead the conversation towards her real goal - to create a better world using Chainsaw Man, which she can control if she wins in battle. That is, the following lines have nothing to do with the Prime Minister, but serve as an explanation from Makima as to why she is not as evil as Kishibe thinks, and why the contract was made.

If you read the second panel as if Makima gloating over Kishibe's words, implying her control over the Prime Minister (which, as I explained above, is incorrect), then there is no point in her immediately afterwards justifying herself and telling him about her plan, which is not like that as he imagined. As I said, these words did not come out of nowhere, and like everything that will be said below, they were meant to disprove Kishibe's ideas.

Makima has no control over members of the Japanese government or the Prime Minister. Period. There's nothing in the manga to support this far-fetched fan theory. On the other hand, there are enough things that make it as accessible as possible for the reader to realize that she is just a part of this system.

[theghostinabadbook]

Since Teruko's story was revealed, I've seen some people saying that she wasn't twelve years old in the present day, but in the Great War, and since that was my first impression when I read the chapter, I wanted to talk a little bit about why this wouldn't make sense if we take into account the timeline that had already been established by the manga up to that point.

Because of Yosano's backstory, we know that the Great War began fourteen years before the current timeline, assuming that Mori recruited Yosano at the beginning of the conflict. (It's said that she was eleven years old when she entered the war, and as she is currently twenty-five years old, it is safe to assume that the war began, at least, fourteen years ago. Mori's age also agrees with this assumption.)

Back to Teruko's backstory, we are told that she started fighting in the war in her first months of life, as her ability meant that she could mature her body and mind, so she was already considered fit to be a soldier even though he was literally a baby. Just like Yosano, it's never stated that she was there from the beginning, and the chapter itself refutes this later, somewhat.

At the beginning of her flashback, the narrator talks about how Teruko's only childish characteristic is her appearance, which imply the idea that she is an adult today, and even the speech that she is only twelve years old, that she really is a child, can also be ambiguous as the scene changes to show Teruko during the war, giving the idea that during the war she had a childlike appearance because she was a child, but that now she uses that form for convenience, or any other unspecified reason.

However, if we consider everything we know about the war and when it occurred, it's possible to see that Teruko couldn't have served in the army while she was only a few months old and be over fourteen/fifteen years old, and we also know that the the war didn't last long enough for Teruko to have joined it when she was a few months old, and be twelve years old when it ended, at least according to what was shown in the manga.

Of course, she could be thirteen, fourteen, or fifteen, but the manga itself states that she is twelve, despite her ability being able to change her physical and mental age, so I see no reason to believe she isn't that age.

Also, the fact that she is twelve now only adds to the tragedy. She is a child who has only known war all her life and who died (as far as we know) to avenge the person who saved her life when she was just a few months old and had already seen people dying, already had to kill enemy soldiers, and was almost killed by them. It was supposed to be something sad, her life was destined to be a fight until the end, and not by her choice, because she had no choice to be here, to begin with.

[pan-magi]

Manga Bonus and Omake Time!

It's June, so I'll do one of the gayest ones. Surprisingly, it's none of Judar's, though they came in very close second hahaha. Nah, I'm going to go over the other magi with vol 19's.

The scans below are mine. I was too lazy to find good copies online, despite cleaning up the images from my shit camera probably was more effort than just finding them. Another note is that they're the English translation from Viz Media. I usually like fan translations a lot of time for analysis because I find it easier to pick apart the more literal translations a lot go for. Alas, I don't have that so these are the same that were published at the end of the volume in America.

These are mostly my own interpretations from this specific scene. Nothing really to back anything up, more-so to explain my thought process because I can and I think it's fun.

Not gonna lie, when I first read that I was like yesss. Fuck gender and sexuality! That's the spirit. And I do think, even though the conversation before is talking about gender, sexuality also applies to the statement since the immediate reply to Scheherazade's words is refuted as Aladdin's perverse behavior is brought up. If she wasn't referring to both then that would be a bigger leap in the conversation. I'm also biased because I am ace, lol.

(for the record, I do see Scheherazade as acespec, and both Aladdin and Yunan under the non-binary umbrella, though not necessarily agender for either of them. I will get my pride Magi hcs up this month. Idk when though so stating this here in case curious.)

(from right to left)

I feel like Scheherazade is doing her best to help Titus out and explain but she should let Titus identify himself.

Titus, you deserve the world. All the future happiness to you to help ease any doubt <3.

This is one of the times gender is the focus on the conversation, and it's about Titus being self conscious on his gender. We see a bit of Yunan's other lives, with some being shown feminine, but that's it. The manga brings attention to it for Titus, although this isn't in the main manga either. The whole conversation and Titus in general gives off big trans energy.

I dunno. I like that they reassure him on who he is. Should have laid off him in the first place, but it's sweet.

(Plus, Aladdin, you are a little shit and should apologize for invading the guy's space when you met and not just for assuming his gender. Bad child.)

I love when they do start to talk about Aladdin, Titus mentions that neither he or Sphintus gets it concerning woman. It could be because they're young, and that's fair. But the more important conclusion:

They're gay, your honor.

Yup, that's what I have. I enjoy that the main talking point was about gender and sexuality, and for me it's easy to see no one there as cishet. The end note is that Scheherazade is likely more wordly than she appears (or wants to be), but I do still see her as ace. I will break down more of my headcanons later; this is long enough already.

Happy Pride Month All. Sharing all my fluffy freshly-baked ace cakes.

[paperpeter]

Nagoya arc in manga and anime: Guren edition.

At one time, it was a big surprise for me how differently the scene with the possessed Guren looks in the manga and anime. Despite the differences, the essence of the scene in both works remains the same and the changes in no way affect the plot, but the presentation and expressiveness itself have a strong enough impact on perception, which allows us to conduct a comparative analysis. In my subjective opinion, Guren's condition was much better demonstrated in the anime than in the manga. Let me tell you why.

Staging.

Compared to the manga, the anime Owari no Seraph looks much more lively and dynamic. The point here is not even in the imaginary fact that the default animation is more dynamic than a static image, but specifically in a more visual and expressive setting. A variety of angles, transitions, demonstration of different sides of the conflict — all that the manga, for some reason, is deprived of in this chapter.

We can clearly see this difference in the example of Guren's appearance in front of the Shinoa squad. While this moment is highly standardized in the manga, in the anime Guren appears before his subordinates after Yu cuts an extraordinary vampire in his path, which briefly confuses the viewer and adds surprise to the scene.

Also, contrary to popular belief, dynamism affects not only the perception of action scenes, but also the feelings of the character, which can be demonstrated both in dialogue and emotions, and in thoughtful directorial techniques. We can already observe a similar thing during the activation of Owari no Seraph in the face of Narumi.

Immediately after Guren impales his subordinates and knocks Yuichiro back, God's Punishment begins to unfold in the blood-drenched sky, riveting the eyes of everyone on the battlefield. At this time, Guren, possessed by Mahiru, peers into the reflection of his eyes in the blade of a demonic katana, drenched in the blood of people and vampires, whom he personally killed. The whole scene is accompanied by manic laughter and tears flowing from his eyes.

This scene works on several levels:

1) Through the contrast of tears and laughter, the viewer realizes Guren's pain from harming his subordinates;

2) Guren's look at himself through the blade shows only his eyes, which builds a kind of dialogue between Mahiru and Guren, and also speaks of his obsession with the goal of killing and inability to cope with it;

3) The demon's sick laugh that accompanies what is happening, shows how absurd the world is, in which in order to save humanity it is necessary to kill people and cause God's wrath.

Just a few seconds present several new readings of the scene, not to mention the wordless disclosure of the inner contradiction of Guren's soul.

Emotions.

So we smoothly move on to the point of demonstrating emotions. I'm not lying if I say that anime Guren is much more charismatic and emotional, which is perfectly illustrated by the example of this scene.

From the beginning of the battle, an inappropriate wide smile adorns his face, which accompanies him until the end of the series and remains on his face even at the moments of the murder. It's the smile of the demon, Mahiru, and the dissonance between her and the usually moral and honorable Guren adds to the viewer's discomfort when watching what's happening on screen.

At the moment when Yuichiro tries to refute for himself the betrayal of such a dear person as Guren, he also smiles while tears flow down his cheeks. At the same time, in the manga Guren also cried, but there was no smile on his lips, which somewhat weakens the transmitted effect of lack of control and weakness in relation to his obsession. Also missing in the anime is Guren's request that Yuichiro run away from him, which I think is right, as the presence of this phrase and others like it knocks down the tension created and confuses the viewer as to who is in control of Guren's body at the moment.

I also add that the external image of Guren works much better in the anime: disheveled, covered with wounds and blood, he seems much more out of his mind than usual, which is why his actions look contradictory than in the manga.

Shinya.

Perhaps the most important thing I wanted to talk about.

Do you ever get the feeling that in OnS manga, Shinya is much softer than in Catastrophe or the anime? It has happened to me, countless times. It seems that in the manga, Shinya is simply not allowed to prove himself on the battlefield or in relationships with friends, and therefore he often seems to be the most spineless secondary character, though he is not.

In the manga, when Guren kills a few dozen subordinates before his eyes and attacks the younger squad, Shinya threatens him with a weapon and demands answers from him, and then tries to convince himself that it was not Guren, but his demon, which you see looks kinda hopeless.

«But in the anime, Shinya does the same thing!» Not really.

Why is the scene from the anime so different that it manages to demonstrate the essence of Shinya's character much better?

First, staging. The opening shot doesn't immediately show us who pointed the weapon at Guren, and the slow camera zoom in on Shinya's face that follows adds tension and drama to the scene. Also, during the conflict, we observe not only Shinya's side, as it was in the manga, but also Guren's reaction to his words, which sets the tone for the atmosphere of conflict and opposition of friends to each other.

Secondly, emotions. While in the manga, Shinya seems overly agitated, confused, and Guren aloof and unemotional, in the anime, Shinya looks angry. Angry at Guren, at his betrayal, and not so much the betrayal of the army, but of him personally, because Shinya always believed that Guren, his selfish Guren, really puts the lives of his loved ones above anything else. This is dissuaded not only by Guren's actions, but also by Kureto's earlier comment, amazed that Shinya still has no idea who his friend really is. That's what makes him doubt, and that's why in the anime, Shinya hits Guren. Hits for a dumb smile on his face that is completely inappropriate and belittling his own feelings of resentment and betrayal, hits for breaking a promise, and this is exactly what Shinya Hiiragi would definitely do in a situation like this.

Guren laughs, and Shinya's face shows a look of disappointment similar to the one he felt back in high school when he thought he overestimated his fiancée's lover. At the same time, the fear that then follows him demonstrates his awareness and true horror at the possibility of losing Guren. Shinya is no longer angry, he is scared and that is why he gives up his position — not so much because of worries for a loved one, but from the understanding that Guren needs help, not condemnation. Not just because he succumbed to the expression of his emotions, as it was in the manga.

Thus, in the anime, Shinya appears as a strong and strong-willed character with a clear worldview and principles, while at the same time having a weakness towards his friend, while in the corresponding chapters of the manga, his image is much more blurred and ordinary.

Results.

Summarizing the above, the characters of Shinya and Guren during the battle in Nagoya are demonstrated much better in anime due to competent directing, script revision and expressiveness of emotions.

This article is only a reflection of my opinion, you can either agree or disagree with these conclusions in the comments ~

[abybweisse]

Hey! (^_−)☆

Do you think there was a particular reason for UT to see Sebastian’s record? i mean did he want to know a specific information, or maybe wanted to see something…Or just out of curiosity?

Why look at Seb's cinematic records?

When a few bloggers made some really odd claims, like:

Polaris must have been the mystery person in ch137.

Undertaker removed real Ciel's soul from Sebastian's body when he stabbed him, so real Ciel has his soul restored.

I had to go back and read that scene from the Campania arc. Because I knew those claims didn't make sense, but I needed a fresh look -- and screenshots -- to refute the claims.

Regarding the mystery person in ch137, I do believe Undertaker might have had a body by then to use for Polaris, since I theorize he used the body of one of the dead butlers from the attack at Phantomhive Manor. And that, therefore, not all of those bodies were consumed by the flames. However, only a month had passed between that attack and the ritual sacrifice that killed real Ciel. Undertaker later explains that he managed to sneak into the sacrificial building before real Ciel's body could be destroyed by the fire that Sebastian started. Fire is used a lot in this series to destroy evidence, isn't it? 😅

To Undertaker, fire is probably one of the few ways to truly lose the Phantomhives. That's why he cries over Vincent and specifically mentions how horrible it is that Vincent was reduced to ashes. Despite what some fans still think possible, Undertaker really can't make a bizarre doll for Vincent. Not only does he lack the right body, but we have to assume the cinematic records were destroyed as well. Just because the anime has a library of "life books" that can be altered doesn't mean the manga does. And even if manga canon ends up including something similar, like a storage facility for cinematic records that have been clipped and saved on special film reels or something, manga canon Undertaker isn't simply a "retired" reaper with easy access to that information... while having his praises practically sung by William. 😆

Anyway, even if Undertaker had Polaris' body in his possession by then, that bizarre doll wouldn't have been able to just quietly stand there and observe; none of the bizarre dolls were able to do anything but grab and bite when they were first made and "activated". By the Campania arc, that's still all they could do, including real Ciel. Chances are, any body he already had in his possession when he collected real Ciel's body would have also been in the absolute earliest stages of the process, like laying in one of those special coffins... being repaired from their mortal injuries.

Also, how would Undertaker know to send anyone to that sacrificial venue when he couldn't even get there in time to keep either of the twins from being killed? There's no reason for Undertaker to send someone who can only observe and not intervene on his behalf to save them. That's the sort of thing an active reaper or even an angel might be sent to do -- observe and report. That's why I still think the mystery person is either William, another active reaper, a "higher up" in the reaper organization (possibly angels)... or even John Brown. I theorize that Undertaker was still trying to figure out where the boys had been taken, and perhaps he had trouble getting there in time to even collect a body. By then, the demon contract had already been made, the fire had been set, and the new master and "black butler" had already left the scene.

It's also been made quite apparent in later chapters that real Ciel's soul was not removed during the Campania arc and subsequently restored to real Ciel's body.

So, I had blogged in response to those claims (and others like them) that Undertaker stabbed Sebastian and viewed that chunk of his cinematic records because he didn't know how the contract had been formed. The mystery person, whoever it is, in ch137 had not been sent there by him.

There is no other known reason to want to see his cinematic records. However, Undertaker also got to see how the demon has been treating his young master. And that's when he says the demon is no good for our earl after all, even though he's protective, so he goes in for the kill but gets interrupted by the ship listing too much.

Undertaker gains a wealth of knowledge from those snippets of Sebastian's cinematic records:

The fact that the two do have a contract with each other, and the fact that real Ciel's death was used as the sacrifice. This confirms that Sebastian has already claimed/devoured real Ciel's soul.

He gets to see the terms of their contract, so he can look for loopholes to break it.

He gets to see how the demon and young master treat each other, from the very beginning of their contract into the various stages of their training (as butler and earl, respectively), and he might be able to further manipulate that... cause strains on their working relationship, so that it's even easier to potentially cause a breach of the contract.

He also gets to see Sebastian make an early attempt to end the contract prematurely and go ahead and claim the kid's soul. So, even though he knows the demon is contract-bound to protect his master, he's not entirely above tricking the kid into giving up. Which means if Undertaker wants to break the contract but keep the kid alive, he has to be careful not to break it in a way that would still give the demon a chance to eat his soul anyway.

There might be other things he's gleaned from viewing those cinematic records, but that's what I've been able to think of right now.