#all of them sounded weird taken out of context

[devilish-cherry]

ᨳ♡₊➳ teaching choso how to use a phone hcs

ᨳ♡₊➳ choso x reader

ᨳ♡₊➳ pure crack with fluff

₊⊹. You finally convinced Choso to get a smartphone because, honestly, the idea of your 150-year-old, half-cursed spirit boyfriend wandering the city without a way to contact you was stressing you out. Unfortunately, the first time he activates Siri, he immediately becomes obsessed. He spends the next hour having a full conversation with her, convinced she’s some omniscient, all-knowing woman trapped inside the device.

“Who is this? How does she know the weather?” he asks, genuinely amazed.

You try to explain AI, but he just frowns. “So she’s… not real?”

You confirm, but he doesn’t believe you. He starts saying “please” and “thank you” to her, thinking it’s the polite thing to do, and when Siri responds with “I live to serve,” he turns to you with wide eyes. “She’s loyal. I respect her.”

Later, you catch him whispering to Siri at 2 AM. “Siri, what is rizz?” She gives him a Wikipedia definition, and he nods solemnly, as if she just revealed the meaning of life.

₊⊹. When Choso first opens the front camera it's purely by accident and he jumps because he thinks someone is staring at him.

It takes you ten minutes to explain that it’s his own face.

He looks at the screen, frowning. “Why do I look like that?”

“What do you mean?”

“I thought I looked…better.”

₊⊹. You teach Choso how to properly use the camera app, and he’s instantly hooked. The problem? He has zero concept of angles. Every selfie he sends you looks like it was taken by a dad who just discovered Facebook.

One is a close-up of his forehead. Another is 90% his nose. A few are taken at such an unflattering angle that you physically recoil. You try to guide him, but he insists that “this is my true form.”

The worst part? He never realizes he’s sending them. He just accidentally spams you with the most nightmarish, low-quality images imaginable. One time, he sends you a blurry picture of his eye, and when you ask what it means, he just responds, “I see you.”

You live in fear of opening your notifications.

₊⊹. At first, Choso types like an old man who just discovered the internet. Every message is unnecessarily formal and it takes him fifteen minutes to type a single one. “I hope this message finds you well. I am currently at the grocery store. Do you require anything?” You tell him he doesn’t have to type like he’s drafting a letter in the 1800s, but he doesn’t get it.

₊⊹. You made the grave mistake of teaching Choso how to use Google, and now he types full, grammatically correct sentences into the search bar like it’s a formal letter.

“Dear Google, can you die from drinking too much orange juice? Sincerely, Choso.”

At one point, he panics because he thinks he’s talking to a real person at Google.

“Dear Google, do you sleep? Do you need a break? I worry for you. Sincerely, Choso."

₊⊹. One day, you introduce Choso to the concept of voice messages because he struggles with typing. He loves it. But because his voice is naturally deep and monotone, everything he sends sounds like a mafia boss delivering an ultimatum.

You: “Hey, what do you want to eat?”

Choso: "Stay put. I will find you.”

You: “Do you need anything from the store?”

Choso: “It is already too late.”

He never means it that way. He’s just bad at tone. One time, he accidentally holds down the record button for three minutes, so all you get is the sound of him breathing heavily while a distant microwave beeps.

Another time, he sends you a 15-second voice memo that is just him sighing deeply followed by:

“…I saw a pigeon today.”

Then he sends another:

“…It was looking at me weird.”

Then another:

“…I don’t trust it.”

That’s it. No context. You’re in the middle of work and have to excuse yourself because you’re laughing too hard.

₊⊹. The first time Choso sends an email, he notices the little “Sent from my iPhone” signature at the bottom. You forget to explain that it’s automatic, so he thinks he has to manually type it out every single time, email or text.

It doesn’t matter what the message is.

“Good morning. Did you sleep well? Sent from my iPhone.”

“Do you want McDonald’s? Sent from my iPhone.”

You don’t have the heart to correct him.

₊⊹. He also discovers autocorrect. One time, he meant to text “Good night.” but autocorrect changed it to “God nut.” You have never known fear like receiving a 2 AM message from him that just says "God nut." with no context.

₊⊹. You introduce Choso to the concept of online shopping, thinking it’ll be harmless. It is not. He immediately becomes addicted to buying the weirdest things. He orders a 200-pack of rubber ducks. He doesn’t even like rubber ducks that much. He just thought it was fun.

₊⊹. Choso has zero understanding of what’s a scam. He clicks on everything. Every pop-up, every link, every “Congratulations! You’ve won a free iPad!” ad. He has installed seven viruses in one week. He sends you a link: “Look! This website is selling a brand-new TV for only $5!” You tell him it’s a scam. He doesn’t believe you. “No, see, it says ‘totally real, not a scam’ in the description.”

At one point, he proudly tells you he got a message saying he won $1,000,000, and all he has to do is send them his bank details.

“Choso, no.”

“But they said—”

“Choso, please block them.”

“But what if—”

“Block them.”

He sulks like a kicked puppy and mutters about how it seemed like a good opportunity.

₊⊹. Choso doesn’t trust “the ghost box” (your Bluetooth speaker). The first time you paired it to your own phone, the automated voice said, “Connected.” Choso froze. Looked you dead in the eye.

“Who was that. WHO WAS THAT."

₊⊹. The first time Choso accidentally took a screenshot, he thought he broke the phone.

He ran to you, panicked and waving his phone around.

“I don’t know what I did, but the screen—it remembers.”

You explain that it’s just a screenshot and show him how to do it on purpose. Now, he takes screenshots of everything like an old man who doesn’t trust the internet.

“What if they delete this? I need to keep evidence.” (It’s just a recipe for banana bread.)

₊⊹. One time, he accidentally took a picture of your face mid-sneeze and he decided to set it as his lock screen. Now, every time he unlocks his phone, he sees your cursed sneeze face.

He refuses to change it. He says it’s sentimental.

“It reminds me of your strength.”

₊⊹. Choso does not understand emojis. At all. You try to explain their meanings, but he insists on using them his own way.

Example: He once texted you, “Thinking about you. ❤️🛐🔥🔪🐍🚬”

You immediately call him, asking if this is a threat. He is confused. “What? No. The heart means I like you. The prayer hands mean I respect you. The fire means you’re attractive. The knife means I’d protect you. The snake means you’re clever. The cigarette means you’re cool.”

₊⊹. Despite all of this, Choso is genuinely trying. He wants to learn because he likes talking to you, his brother, and staying connected. He still struggles, but he remembers what you teach him. He still sends weird messages, but they’re sweet and he means well. And when he finally figures out FaceTime, he lights up.

“Now I can see you anytime,” he says softly. “That’s nice.”

That alone makes it all worth it.

[dollarbils]

i think, therefore i am | b.eilish

billie eilish x guitarist-fem!reader

context. billie has a crush on her guitarist

warnings. smut, fingering, flirting, angst kinda, not proof read

request masterlist

the beat dropped and she glanced towards you, to make sure you were watching her, like she always did. she’d interact with you as you strummed the guitar, trying to focus on plucking the strings instead of her fingers running across your jaw. in front of thousands of people. you loathed her for it, she’d do it every time and ignore you afterwards, no longer giving you the attention she’s so happily willing to give when it’s for entertainment.

after the show you were headed to the bathroom, needing to refresh yourself with some water. you hadn’t expected to see her there, in the bathroom fixing herself up too. you ignored her, assuming she’d ignore you in return. but this time, she didn’t.

“you were incredible tonight.” she complimented, you were taken aback completely, never having had a positive interaction with her.

“thank you?” you were hesitant to say much more but she eyed you as if she expected you to continue. “so were you.” you added before turning the tap on to splash your face with some water.

“well don’t seem so surprised. you know you’re my favorite from the band.” you laughed at this, she really wasn’t good at expressing it if what she said was the truth.

“that’s funny, this is the first time we’ve talked.” she took offense to this for some reason.

“well you could’ve talked to me.” she shrugged her shoulders, leaning an arm on the sink.

“true.” you admitted, lowering your face again to rinse your face with the face wash you’d brought, removing your makeup as you did. her hands replaced the one in your hair helping you avoid the water.

“thanks.” you said as you dried your face with a towel. her hand tucked your hair behind your ears delicately, the soft action weirding you out slightly.

“i got you.” she winked, lowering the lids of her eyes when she stood back to look at you fully. she didn’t say anything and you mistook the silence as awkward.

“you’re not a huge talker are you?” she questioned, rhetorical however.

“depends on the person.” she raised her eyebrows, smiling at the slight shade.

“damn, next time just tell me your not interested from the get go.” she turned picking up her stuff and you felt a tinge of regret.

“what do you mean?” you asked and she turned back.

“hm?” you thought she might act like she hadn’t said anything but she searched your expression for something more.

“well, you haven’t really expressed interest. how was i supposed to know?” she seemed shocked.

“i haven’t expressed interest? i practically grind on you at all the shows.” she rested a hand on her hip.

“yeah, but it’s for entertainment purposes.” you sounded unsure, and she caught sight of the sliver of doubt in the statement.

“yeah? it doesn’t have to be.” she came closer to you, paralysing you with her words. her lips gravitated towards yours before she spoke again.

“it depends on you. what do you want, cause i think i know, but i need to hear it from you.” she whispered on your lips and her breath rendered them warmer.

“you don’t know what i want.” she saw this as a challenge and her hands rested on her hips, pulling you in.

“i know you want this.” her hands now moved across you neck as you let her explore your body, despite your rejecting words.

“you think you’re so tough.” you replied, the insult bouncing off her, not having had the intended effect.

“I think, therefore I am.” she quoted, the irony of what had transpired hitting you where it hurt. but it didn’t hurt nearly as much as your subconscious reaction to her fingertips on your waist.

“fuck.” you breathed before you kissed her. she smirked into the kiss, as cocky as ever. it destroyed your own pride.

“you taste good baby.” she said once her tongue left yours.

“yeah?” you kissed her cheek, moving lower to her jaw. her hands played with the waistband of your sweats, pulling them low so that your underwear was peaking through. she fiddled with your panties as she took your face to kiss you again. you both grew more desperate, hotter and passionate. she spun you around so that your ass was against her hips, and you were leaning against the cold sink. you looked at her through the mirror and she caressed your ass, pulling your sweatpants down.

“tell me what you want.” she demanded and you closed your eyes in frustration, the moment so heated you lost sight of your common sense.

“you, please just get me off billie.” it was the first time you’d addressed her and she pulled her lip with her teeth. her fingers travelled past your underwear quickly, gasping mockingly at your wetness.

“billie.” it was a warning, telling her you didn’t want to be teased. she obeyed and dipped her fingers in as you gripped the sink. she pushed you harder against the ceramic, her fingers just as rough inside of you. her free hand came up to your covered breast as she urged you to arch your back.

“don’t you look pretty?” she wiped the fog on the mirror, created by your heavy breaths and bold moans. her fingers were relentless, but her hand was soft against your ass. she moved back to your tits, this time under your shirt. she bit her lip when she felt them, trying to hold back, not wanting to make a mess of your clothes in case someone decided to come in.

“you look so sexy when you play the guitar. so concentrated but so confident too.” she rambled on, the words not fully settling in your brain since you were occupied with the feeling of her fingers.

“mhm.” you mumbled carelessly. her lips were all over your neck, leaving traces of lipgloss around the bruises.

“if i could, i would’ve taken you right on that stage.” her filthy words brought you closer to your release, and she knew exactly what she was doing when you clenched on her fingers.

“god you’re hot when you come.” she commented as you tried to slow your heartbeat. you chuckled as her fingers left you and you turned around to face her, the sink leaving a mark on your lower hips.

“we can do this again, i don’t mind.” your words were flirtatious and she smiled.

“finally you’ve grown some balls.” you hit her shoulder playfully and she pulled you into her, pecking your lips softly.

[thatdeadaquarius]

HELP I JUST HAD A THOUGH

WHAT IF

What if....

Blunt reader became a harbinger

I have NO idea how that would go but im here for the crack lol

I BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE-

(and to use this gif more importantly they're all so hot here lol)

Sun: Reader (you/they/them), Blunt Language AU :D

Orbit: Headcanons-ish, crack treated srsly (yes im using ao3 tags atp)

Stars: Harbingers!

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: none known & Trigger Warnings: none known.

Please comment if I missed any. /gen

☆

SO thought I’d update anyone missing out bc of the new year but-

I made this silly thing called Blunt Language AU, that was my 1st post for this blog/fandom actually! :D

I’ll link it here, but TLDR: it’s just our modern speech sounding “ancient” to the Teyvatians, who speak really flowery/fluffy/lots of context in comparison!

That’s all you rlly need to know to read this I think, so enjoy! :)

☆

u fall into Genshin Impact, and Snezhnaya is where you land first type of energy lol

weird golden star falling from the sky? that sounds like a prophecy the Tsaritsa knows abt alright

so they sent Childe, one of the friendliest (if not The Friendliest) Harbinger, to see if it was a valid claim you’d finally descended,

and ofc as soon as the redhead heard you try and talk to him, he knew the claims by the small village nearby (who had taken u in from the cold weather/taken care of you) were legit

pantalone did manage to squeeze some examples of what you’d possibly sound like into his head before he left so while Childe personally has a tough time talking to you, it doesn't mean he’s not willing to try!! >:)

he mostly just kept asking questions forever until he understood what you meant, and as soon he got u were asking abt the Tsaritsa, the other Harbingers, himself, even how to get Sneznayan-made clothes lol

he was like: 👀👀👀???!!!!

it wasn't so much recruitment at first as it was “omg the exalted one wishes to learn abt us, the Tsaritsa and her Harbingers? abt me?? well would your highness like to come to our palace perchance???!!!!”

= have u ever been seduced and worshipped by a god and her country?? would you like to- ??? ← Childe actually

and with that convinces you to come straight to the Harbingers/Tsaritsa’s very home

No, you’re not just spoiled.

No, you’re not just pampered.

You are cosseted and coveted.

The Tsaritsa makes her first in person appearance to the people in decades to personally announce your return, and to get a festival going to literally parade you into the capital lol

And tbh it was kind of shocking how quickly the people of Snezhnaya are able to whip out the party supplies, within days of traveling via horses/sleds/carriage/trains all kinds of transportation, u arrived at the capital in full swing of a parade for you

The Tsaritsa herself in what looks like a genshin-ified kokoshnik, the elaborate headress draped with a veil so thin it looks like frost covering her face,

flocked on either side by her harbingers in full (kinda goth) ceremonial outfits waiting on your arrival too

needless to say you are properly smitten intimidated

and you stay nervous around them for the first few days or so,

that is before you run into the weekly, what you would call “family dinner nights”, but they call “dinner reports”…

in which Childe, the only one you’d been comfortable enough around to be a bit more genuine to, and surprisingly the only one to quickly adapt to your speech after traveling with you for days, would translate for you what tf you were saying to them vs. what everyone at the table was saying to you/around you

you would also like to propose other titles for these weekly dinner meetings you’re invited to, aka “family feud dinner night/family fight night/harbinger on harbinger hate night/fruit on fruit crimes, if you will” 💀

the Tsaritsa is just peacefully talking to you abt any and everything, bc ofc Pierro’s on her right, and ur on her left

(she and Pierro are surprisingly soft spoken, very polite, and able to say something interesting/take an interest in whatever subject you all end up on)

u don't think you've ever been more comfortable and on such equal footing around ppl sm older than you (what are older ppl to you, but to them ur literally fucking eldritch with how ancient u are, and u can tell with how they treat u like it lmao)

hard cut back to the rest of the table:

an argument that just gets louder and louder has broken out between Childe, Dottore, La Signora, and Pantalone abt who should get free time with you first/get to do smth with you first as you get over ur adjustment period here, Childe has taken his butter knife to throw and just barely missed Dottore’s eye, and it is now embedded in the back of his fancy chair (the servants placing down dinner courses just move abt w/the most bored expressions on their faces)

(u send half the table if this group gets out of hand and u just: “Please shut the fuck up, each of ur comebacks take 30 minutes and it’s killing me” 💀 bc they're the most likely to understand u too, even Pierro/Capitano/Pulcinella chuckle a little, and u think the Tsaritsa smirked under her veil)

ur honestly too scared to see what Scarmouche, Sandrone, and Arlecchino are arguing about, because they're arguing so silently further down the table. They have murder in their eyes.

Columbina and Capitano are having a peaceful collab over weapons, armor, and clothing to offer you, Pulcinella is close enough to both participate in that convo and in you, Pierro, and the Tsaritsa’s convos too

by the 2nd week you've decided to choose chaos, and get them to play board games together sometimes (they cant all make it all the time, tbh u don't know if u can handle that either) but groups of them will play at a time

u remembered early on what a dick Dottore was, and sentenced asked if he’d like to play this new board game called “Monopoly” from ur world with Childe, Pantalone, Pierro, Arlecchino, La Signora, and Scaramouche all together :)

(so what ur trying to bring khaenri’ah part 2 down on his head as punishment?? u owe scara and collei that at least)

Columbina is more than happy to help get you Harbinger-like clothes to wear since ur so interested in the style!! (yes yesss get converted, she already has a title picked out for you)

she also giggles anytime u talk abt whether u like an outfit or not, bc u just “no thank you I’d rather wear a trash bag than that shirt, but lets try another?”

meanwhile the tailors in the background u could literally edit them to one of those videos where it just zooms in on their faces with a vine boom of shock

like Pierro, ur unranked, just above the other Harbingers really, as it wouldn't do to make you the 12th Harbinger or smth

the names they gave you being, “The Playwright” or “The Renaissance” or even “Drammaturgo”

(pls anyone who speaks Italian correct if I'm wrong ToT )

ok but the first time, unsurprisingly, one of them got snappy with you, likely Scara I would think,

Scaramouche, pissy: “And what shall we do if it appears our almighty god is perhaps a descender who is entirely human? Why I dare say you’d be transgressing on privileges that were never yours to begin with!”

Every other Harbinger, the Tsaritsa herself, the servants, the frost on the walls: 😶😦😨😶‍🌫️

You, unbothered, still eating and fully expecting this moment: “I don't want to hear it from someone who has god-mommy issues. You shouldn’t have an opinion about me, ur biased.”

yeah, so obviously, they’re emotionally all attached now whether they know it or not, and this was of course the moment they realized they're god would fit in so perfectly here

(the other nations are going to have to pry you from Snezhnaya from their cold dead hands, esp since u now have legal deniability to visit bc ur technically a Harbinger, only commanded by her majesty lol)

(Scaramouche, Arlecchino, and Sandrone were fighting about who gets the room nearest to your quarters lol)

(Capitano won, somehow??)

☆

sorry ive been slow lately guys, been just trying to work on alllll the fics these past weeks/days/however long its been??

anyway had the shift from hell last week so wish me luck with work this week if u see this 😭

hope u enjoyed this old ask/crack treated srsly post orah!! :D

Safe Travels,

💀♒

If you wanna join a taglist, DM me what for! "Pspspsss, please tag me for [All SAGAU posts, Only SAGAU Language AUs, diff fandom, etc.]!"

(If you ever wanna drop, just DM me! "No more taglists/[specifically this AU/fandom] please!")

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi / @fallen-starr / @areaderofbooks / @devilangel657 / @esthelily / @justinsomniachild / @nanithefuck / @questionotmystopit

@kiyomi-uchiha777

[sunkeji]

Heyyy can i ask for tsukishima and sakasu were them and the reader try those periods simulation things! The reader is all fine and chill while the boys are screaming bloody murder and asking how the reader deals with these on a monthly basis! Separately please! Thank you!!!!

Period simulator ft. Tsukishima & Sakusa

a/n: I'm sorry I got to this late!! I didn't like how I wrote it originally so I scrapped the whole thing and redid it. Hopefully you like this (⁠^⁠^⁠)

Warnings: curse word used in sakusa's part, not proofread, if taken out of context it sounds pretty weird,it feels like i wrote a descriptive essay.

Imagine you make a bet against your boyfriend that if he was a girl, he wouldn't be able to bear the pain of period cramps but he says otherwise. So after that conversation with him, you purchase a period simulator to try during the weekend with him. Sitting on the couch side by side with the period simulator between you two, he steels himself for what's about to come while you are brimming with anticipation.

Tsukishima Kei

He was super confident at first that he would be able to withstand the pain. Not because he undermines the pain of period cramps but because he thinks he has a high pain tolerance. But little does he know...

At the first setting, it was still alright. It was uncomfortable, but still bearable. He brushed off your teasing comments, telling him that it's okay to back out now if it was too painful. He merely rolled his eyes and quipped back, saying he could go to sleep at this setting.

You crank the pain to level 3 and you see Tsukishima jolt. You give him a teasing smile and he quickly says that it was just very sudden and how he didn't expect it and blah blah blah.

You don't even give him a minute to get use to it when a mischievous smile makes its way to your face and you switch it to the highest setting.

Just as quickly as you switched its setting to the highest, you hear a quiet whimper come out of him. The both of you freeze and time seems to have stopped save for the ticking of the clock in the living room.

You hit him with the:

You open your mouth and are about to say something but he quickly interjects in a quiet voice; "no, keep it to yourself, I don't want to hear it" all while avoiding eye contact. You know he's not being mean, just a bit embarrassed or sulky maybe 🤔 so you don't take it to heart.

After that whole fiasco, he made you promise to not utter a single word to anyone about this. And one more time you bring up the fact that the great Tsukishima Kei had actually whimpered, he might actually strangle you for real this time.

Jokes aside, He's left speechless that you actually have to deal with this each time you get your period. He's much nicer to you now when you're on your period, You get less sass from him when on your period and he's more understanding of your situation now.

Sakusa Kiyoomi

Can’t believe you actually bought it. Scolds you for wasting your money but since you’ve already bought it, might as well try it. He pretends like this whole thing is a nuisance but he is actually very curious.

He’s kinda nervous because from what he’s seen with you on days where your period cramps are really bad, it looks like you’re suffering from an unknown stomach disease that’s plagued the entire female population in the world and you are just another one of its victims.

Some very tiny part of him wants to be tough and show you that he’s strong but in actuality, he’s in for a rude awakening. He takes level 1 and 2 like a breeze but when you turn it up to level 3, beads of sweat are rolling down his forehead and he’s gripping the armrest of the couch and the veins in his arm are visible.

You glance at him, waiting for another reaction but when nothing else happens, you feel a tad bit disappointed and tell him you’ll put it to the highest setting now. He’s about to protest and reaches out to grab your arm but the intensity of the period simulator takes him by surprise and instead he ends up grabbing your thigh and squeezes it hard.

Now the both of you are screaming profanities and are thrashing around. If he doesn’t let go, you can’t adjust the setting of the period simulator. And if you don’t adjust the settings of the period simulator, he can’t let go because it hurts like a bitch. It’s a whole never ending cycle.

So its a few seconds of the two of you thrashing around before you reach under his shirt and yank the wires and simulator off of him. Then, it’s just the sounds of the two of you heavily breathing and trying to catch your breaths. You turn to him and your eyes go wide when you see he actually has a few tears rolling down his cheeks as he stares at you blankly.

Now you’re left wondering what’s the appropriate course of action. Do you start cackling like a maniac because you never thought he’d start crying then console your boyfriend or do it the other way around? Well you didn’t have to think about it for long because a few seconds later, his head fell ontop of your lap with his arm covering his eyes.

You ask him if he’s feeling okay with a goofy smile plastered on your face from the event that had previously unfolded. You hoped your boyfriend wouldn’t move his arm now otherwise he’d pinch you for smiling at his misery. He mumbles softly about how he just needs a few minutes to recollect himself and then he’ll be good to go. So in the meantime, you brush your fingers through his hair. After a few minutes or so he asks you with a sigh; “You’ll never let this go will you?”. You laugh and plant a kiss on his head “Nope!”

You remind him how it feels even worse by adding the nausea, dizziness and low blood pressure you may get. So now he takes extra good care of you 🫶 he feeds you lots of red meat, refills your water bottle and even gives you massages anywhere you're feeling sore.

[un-pearable]

internally: decent movie. more tolerable than the previous for most parts. rewatchable. FINALLY has a soundtrack that sounds like sonic and DOESNT have gratuitous plot-irrelevant human scenes. sonic gets to do sonic stuff!!!!! characterization makes sense given previous movies and (very slightly) nudges him towards something potentially interesting. not inventive AT ALL (missing everything intriguing about SA2) but could be worse

externally: while some lore omissions make sense given the world established by the previous films, those choices are boring and others they make are completely baffling changes. rouge omission harms the whole thing. i dislike the entire direction they’ve taken with their sonic characterization and the themes and they fundamentally miss key traits for everyone involved . why did we do this. what was the point

it’s fun. more consistently enjoyable than the previous but that’s mostly bc the scenes that bothered me with the aggressive Carryness had tails in them so i could just watch him be cute.

lore change to make him another mystery alien is annoying but frustratingly makes sense given the context. i’m not torn up over it <- don’t care about shadow and didn’t expect much going in . the missing part of maria’s story is ridiculous though (why is she just there??????)

i love herrrr i love her 70s energy and outfits and i will incorporate the roller skates. its soooo cute . the godzilla movie with the biolizard is pretty funny but that’ll totally piss off diehards. i do think they do good job of showing shadow + maria as friends and why he cares so much about her but that’s mainly just the scope of a film vs a video game

COWARDS THOUGH . SAYING “THEYRE CHILDREN” ON SCREEN TO INTERRUPT A SHOT-FOR-SHOT RECREATION OF HER DEATH??? THATS THE POINT. SHES A CHILD. ITS A TRAGEDYY

the shots directly from the shadow 2005 intro…. unbelievable . hilarious

akira bike slide ON VERTICAL BUILDING is cool i’m here for it

low budget flight and actual sonic-esque music…. i accept my crumbs

knuckles is lame. literally stolen joke from sonic boom w the team knuckles stuff. i wanted him to fight sonic over the ME so bad

the wade reveal is physically painful like i knew it happened in the show but he sucks sucks and right after the only satisfying scene w the humans (shadow fuckin up tom) . ME you deserve betterrrrr

torn on the overall message. i think it’s a more coherent film than the last two and the message isn’t terrible - it aligns with sonic’s overall freedom and choice vibes. but having shadow be a tag along to eggman’s schemes is a weird choice given he was pretty explicitly the one who wanted to . yknow. blow up the earth in the first place and just gave eggman the tools in SA2. this version takes a lot of agency out of his story bc gerald is here. which is weird since the whole explicit theme is choices!!

fucking gerald. can i kill someone. mr carrey i hate him

extremely dragon ball combat. which is fine but unexciting . WHERE the fuck did the emeralds go at the end they just??? gone??? they detransform and (incorrectly) sonic falls out of super and shadow dies but the emeralds flat out do not appear in the film again after they initially transform . what happened

FINALLY giving us a heart to heart AND live and learn for the fight ONLY TO CUT AWAY TO TWO MINUTES OF CARREY SHENANIGANS. illegal . egregious. im glad he’s dead

the shift from sonic having to inspire shadow to be better and move onto his past to . shadow pulling a ‘you’re just like me’ is lame. hello again scourge .

like it’s a logical change especially given the target audience and the kind of stories that are popular rn but it’s sooo less interesting than SA2’s thing

shadow being confronted by sonic bc he challenges his belief of being exceptional and makes him reconsider what it’s possible to be -> shadow being sonic’s narrative parallel bc they both had one (1) human they liked who they would do anything for

^^^ it’s bad. not unwatchable like sonic 1 but bad change. makes sense for this established universe tho so i get it

tails is great . colleen should be paid more

WAIT THINKING ABOUT LIVE & LEARN AGAIN. I CANT FUCKIN BELIEVE IT at least they had the music still playing when they cut back to the fight scene but that bullshit w the egged men. torture

yay shadow dead!!!!! no that final endcredit didn’t happen

the moon shot was cool. sadly now sonadow fans will claim the moon <- IT WAS SONKNUX TERRITORY FIRST

rouge would have made this film 1000000000% better

why so many metal sonic???????? hi amy

at least she’s cute i’ve seen so many bad edits since 2020 at least she’s cute. i’m intrigued w the cloak choice what’s going on here. just to hide the outfit so they can change it? reference? hmm

fascinating implication for whatever 4 is going to be. in my heart carreybotnik stays dead and we get a pseudo heroes where metal is pretending to be him. but alas i fear the family focus for eggman in this film is leading up to. him making metal sonic and treating him as his kid. which could be fucked up in fun ways but i’m so tired of carreyisms

they did say 2027 though which is an extra year than the last two got…. what are you budgeting guys

why oh why is shadow consistently the only character who gets any emotional arcs or storytelling it taunts me…. can’t even hate the guy bc he’s the only one with interesting stories . this story sucks and it’s still better than what knux got . orz

sayonara shadow the hedgehog

[blackcoldcrackedheart]

So Josh and Eddie need to have a talk with Maddie

He had reached his final straw with Maddie when he saw the text message from Maddie.

'What sort of gay guy doesn't like the bachelor???'

Normally he would joke back with Maddie, but he knew the context of what had happened.

Because Buck had told him.

And it was his Josh's final straw with Maddie.

He opened up his contact list and clicked on the call button under the one contact he thought he would never have to talk to again.

"Josh?" Eddie sounded rightfully confused, there was rustling background noises. "Is everything okay?"

Josh sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and readying himself for the most asinine conversation he could ever half. "We need to talk, are you busy?"

Another rustling noise and a soft thud noise like a door was closing. "Yeah," Eddie replied, sounding curious but still worried. "What's up?"

-

The plan was originally that Sophia would be coming back to LA with their abuela since Pepa was recovering from surgery, and between Pepa's daughters and the grandkids. More reinforcement was needed.

But Eddie had been able to cajole his parents into letting him take Sophie's place.

So just a week and a half after his call with Josh. Eddie was back in LA. He hadn't told anyone he would be coming back.

Mainly because he and Josh needed to have a chat with Maddie.

They were outside her house. They knew she was home since Josh had "casually" asked Maddie what her plans were for today via text. Chim was on shift, so Maddie had Jee and the two would be home for most of the late afternoon.

So here they were.

"You ready?" Eddie asked as they walked towards the door.

"Oh, more than ready." Josh answered, his expression and voice steely as he cracked his neck and knuckles.

The door opened, Maddie looking at Josh with a questionable surprise, "Josh?" She saw Eddie right behind him next, "Eddie? What are you doing back in LA?" She opened the door wider for them and let them in, looking excited as she hugged Eddie. "Does Buck know you're back? Did he forget you were coming back today or something?" She asked with a wry grin; she led the men to the kitchen.

"No." Eddie shoved his hands in pockets, he didn't want to beat around the bush for this talk. "I didn't tell anyone I was coming back because I wasn’t planning on coming back."

Maddie frowned, "Okaaaay." She said slowly as she got out a pitcher of iced tea and glass cups, "Did you just get urge to come back because you missed Buck?" She teased, her eyes lightning up with something that Eddie assumed was joy or hope.

He couldn't help but make a face

He looked at Josh.

"That’s what we want to talk about with you." Josh started, "Maddie, you know that I adore you, but you've got to stop being so damn homophobic about Buck and Tommy."

Maddie flinched back, shaking her head as though she misheard Josh. "Excuse me?"

Josh took a deep breath in and out, "Ever since Buck started dating Tommy, you've been weird about them. About Buck. Even after they broke up, you've been. I don't know, flippant?" He crossed his arms, "At first I thought, she's Buck big sister, she's just being overprotective but the more I heard from Buck and heard you talking about him and Tommy and him and Eddie, the more I realized: you never took Buck's relationship with Tommy seriously."

Maddie’s jaw dropped at that. Clearly annoyed, she snapped back. "Can you blame me?"

That had Josh and Eddie looking at her in a new light.

Maddie instantly recoiled at her tone and their expression. "I-I didn't mean it like that." She gestured between Josh and herself. "Clearly!"

Josh raised a brow, shifting his stance back and forth. He couldn't help but be taken back and hurt by that. He didn't care that his tone came out colder than expected, "Could have fooled me."

Maddie pouted, her shoulders slumping as she tried to reason that, "It's just- it was so random for him to be with Tommy. Like yeah, sure, they were cute and all that, but I thought he would realize that maybe he picked the wrong guy and realize the guy that he really was…." She gestured her head towards Eddie.

"The straight best friend who has no interest in dating his bi best friend?" Eddie finished her half sentence, looking at her in disbelief. "Maddie, be serious. When have I ever been known to have any romantic feelings for Buck or any guy for that matter?"

"Maybe not any guy, but for Buck? Come on, you made him your son's guardian for God's sakes. Who would make their "best friend" their kid's guardian if they didn't have romantic feelings for them?"

Josh pointed at her, "Your husband made Hen the guardian for your kids."

Maddie faltered at that, "We picked Hen and Karen, that's different."

Josh rolled his eyes, "You might have picked Hen and Karen, but Chimney picked Hen. That's how he started that conversation, and I was there for it. He thought of his best friend when deciding who to choose to be the guardian of his child. It happens."

Eddie raised his brows at that, nodding in agreement.

"But you two are always together. I mean, he even cooks dinner for you and Chris." She paused for dramatics as she pointed at Eddie, "And he's dropped literally everything to go babysit for you."

Eddie sighed into his hands, "Buck and I spend as much time together as Chimney and Hen do. We're best friends. The man will cook for anyone too if he's asked. Also, yes. I go to him for help when I need to have someone babysit Christopher and most times when I ask him it's because I'm on a date with a woman."

"Which has never worked out for you, Eddie. Do you know why that is?" Maddie asked, becoming awfully serious now.

Eddie frowned, crossing his arms now. "Uh, yes. Do you know why that is?"

Maddie licked her lips, standing up straighter and she placed her hands on the counter. "Have you ever heard of repression?"

Josh let out a long loud sigh as he tilted his head back. He pressed at his temples, already feeling the signs of a headache coming on. "Have you ever heard of bullshit?"

That got Eddie to cackle, but Maddie looked insulted. "How do you know he's not repressing his sexuality?"

"Why would I even think that? Because he's struck out with women more times than the Dodgers at a home game?"

"Good one." Eddie complimented him, biting back a smile.

"Screw you, I watch sports too." Josh nearly snarled. "Maddie, he's a straight guy dating in LA. He's not repressing his sexuality, he's just horrible at dating because this city sucks."

Eddie rolled his head back and forth on that, trying to decide if he should take offense.

"His longest relationship since coming to the city has been with Buck." Maddie reasoned, she looked at Eddie, "He's been your constant person since you got here. That means something."

Eddie had never thought that Maddie believed this. Any of it. They hardly talked. And he knew better than to believe that Buck was telling her this stuff.

"You're right." Eddie admitted, feigning defeat. "Buck has been a constant fixture in my life since I came to L.A." He took a step closer to kitchen island. "Do you know why I came to L.A?"

Maddie's hopeful smug expression melted off once she picked up the edge and bitingly condescending tone in Eddie's voice. "No."

"Shannon." Eddie said simply. "Shannon. As in my wife." He waited a bit, needing to calm down. A part of him wanted to believe that Maddie meant well. That she just wanted her brother to be happy.

But in reality, she wasn't. She was doing the complete opposite.

"She was in LA and when the choice came to work in Chicago or LA, I took LA because I wanted to have the chance to work on our relationship. And I know that we were not perfect. Far from it. But she's the woman I will forever be in love with, Maddie. You want to know why none of my other relationships haven't worked? It's not because I'm in love with your brother or because I'm repressing my sexuality." He scoffed, "I never got over losing Shannon. Losing our relationship, losing her did a number on me. I don't know if I ever will ever be over her because I've been mad at her and myself for years now." He hated how he had to open himself up like this in front of Maddie and Josh. He had barely hung out with them before while living in L.A. and now here he was having to expose himself because his best friend's sister didn't understand their friendship. "Buck knows that. He's been the one person who I could tell that too and understand that I will constantly need to work on myself because I'm still dealing with the trauma of losing her."

"But you saw how he took to you leaving. He was hurt!"

Josh snorted, "I don't think he was more or less hurt than when Tommy broke up with him. I still have enough pumpkin loaves in my fridge to feed me for the next two years."

"He was still upset though!"

Eddie tried to bite back his laugh, but he failed. "Yeah, because your brother doesn't like changes. You know that, Maddie. What I know about you two? Neither of you have ever really had a stable life."

"Add to that Buck's boyfriend breaks up with him and then his best friend decides to move to a different state, of course Buck would be upset." Josh added with a pointed glare at Maddie. "Being upset about changes is normal. Being upset that your best friend is leaving, someone who you've known and worked with for years, is completely normal." Josh emphasized.

Maddie rolled her eyes; she dropped her hands to her sides in frustration. "Of course, I know that!" She rubbed her forehead. "It's just…. let’s be honest Eddie. He's taken care of you. He's cooked for you, watched your kid. He's even taken Christopher to the zoo and doctor’s appointments like how many times? You can't deny he's not Christopher's other dad. With all the doting he does for you two, it’s like you three were playing house. Like he was the wife in training." She joked, smiling to herself as she thought back when she saw Buck with Eddie and Christopher.

"Jesus Christ."

"Seriously?"

"Maddie," now Eddie was pissed, "I know that Buck has done those things for me and Christopher. But do not get it twisted; Christopher only had one parent. He has only one dad." Eddie pointed to himself, "Me." He watched her deflate at that, almost looking disappointed that Eddie wasn't agreeing with her ludicrous belief. "Shannon is dead. So, there's no chance of Christopher even getting a step-dad at this point." He told her seriously.

"Also, Buck isn't a woman. He's not going to become Eddie's new wife even if Eddie was queer." Josh pointedly reminded Maddie. He looked hurt now; it was harsh to hear Maddie say such outlandish homophobic thoughts. "Two men can care for each other without it being romantic."

"I know that." Maddie snapped. "But you clearly haven't seen how much Buck misses him." She gestured towards a very tired Eddie. "He's so lonely now."

Josh frowned at her. Not mad, but worried. He leaned over the island, clearly trying to get his bearings together before he spoke. "Maddie, he was lonely before Eddie even mentioned moving. He was lonely because his boyfriend left him." He took his phone out and showed the screen of text messages between him and Buck after Tommy had dumped him. "He was lonely because the one person he wanted to keep left. It had nothing to do with Eddie and it still doesn't. Buck doesn't do well with people leaving."

"Abandonment issues galore." Eddie mumbled under his breath.

"And you think I should support him and Tommy getting back together? After he left Buck like that?"

"Didn't you leave Chimney?" Josh asked, the malice in his voice clear as day.

The kitchen became all too quiet that Eddie swore he could hear a humming bird on the roof. He looked down uncomfortably at the floor. He wanted to slowly back out of the kitchen but opted to take a long sip of his drink.

"How could you say that? I just had Jee, I was going through-"

"Not that time, the other times." Josh corrected, "You left Chimney like three times Maddie, I'm not gonna count when you had postpartum. But you did leave before that and I have to go back to the fact that you and Buck have never had a stable life and now both of you deal with that in different ways. You run."

"And Buck clings." Eddie finished, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, he knew that about Buck and Maddie. How Buck would settle if meant never being left alone and how Maddie would run.

"And I get that another big part of that is Doug." Josh added, "But Buck isn't you. And Tommy isn't Doug, or Chimney. If anything, he's you, Maddie."

Maddie scoffed at that, "What are you even-"

"Tommy left, just like you did." Josh clarified, nodding at her direction.

"So, Buck shouldn't be with a runner. Eddie wouldn't ever leave him; he loves Buck like-"

"Maddie." Eddie cut her off sternly, "I did leave Buck." he reminded her, "To Texas, because that's where my son is, that's where I need to be." he explained to her slowly, "And I’ve left Buck before. He and I haven't had a perfect friendship."

"He's also a bad friend." Josh interrupted, shrugging as Eddie gave him a look that clearly translated to "Really?". "But we can talk about that another time." Josh smiled, patting Eddie on the shoulder.

"The point is, I do love Buck- but it's platonic. Brotherly. He's never going to be the person that I will see a future with because despite what you've convinced yourself to think Maddie, I'm not in love with Buck and I'm straight." he let out a chuckle, "Hell, if it wasn't for the fact that Chimney was clearly into you from the start, I would have asked you out when I helped you move into your place."

Maddie was taken aback by that, she shook her head, trying to make sense of the day she and Eddie had met. "Really?"

"Yup."

Josh rolled his eyes as he took a sip of his drink, that would have been one hell of a couple to have dealt with. "Maddie, the point is. Buck is in love with Tommy and Tommy is in love with Buck. They want to be together and yeah, both men have their issues, but they want to be together."

Josh could tell that Maddie was fighting to accept the truth, "But don't you think that Buck should be alone for a while? Make some new friends maybe?"

"Maddie." Josh stressed; it was becoming personal now. "No one wants to be alone. Having friends? That's great. It's needed. But friends have their own lives too. They go home at the end of the day; Buck could make a dozen new friends but he's still going to end up alone at the end of the night." He shook his head in disappointment, finding friends was easy in LA, hooking up? Easier, maybe. Finding a person to have a relationship in any part of the country was like trying to find a needle in a haystack. "What you said about Buck dotting on Eddie? Buck does that a lot; he dots on the people who he loves. He'll show up for them, day or night. We all know that. But Tommy dotes on Buck." He let out a laugh as he remembered when Buck would message him, Hen, and Karen in their group text; how excited he was when Tommy would cook him dinner, or their movie nights together, how he would joke and send them pictures of a random LAFD helicopter in the sky with the following text "My boyfriend is so cool!". "Tommy clearly loves your brother, enough that he wore a suit to bury a corpse, enough that he dropped everything to go to Buck when he was upset about Bobby having a heart attack. Do you not trust that Buck knows what he's doing when he chooses Tommy?" he asked her honestly.

"It's-It's not that. It's just…I don't know. I thought that if he realized he was into men, it would be Eddie that he chose. I just thought Tommy was just, not a serious option when he has had Eddie the whole time by him." Maddie tried to reason, her demeanor cracking at Eddie and Josh's tired and disapproving glances.

Josh shook his head, head running his fingers through his hair. "You definitely shipped Kurt and Finn, didn't you?" he mumbled under his breath.

"What?"

"Never mind." He groaned, "The point is Eddie is not an option."

"And never going to be one, just to make that clear." Eddie added on.

"But doesn't it make sense for Buck to be in love with someone who he's been together and known for years? Rather then just some random guy he met at work?"

"I was a random guy Buck met at work." Eddie pointed out, clearly irritated.

Before Eddie could snap back further, Josh interrupted him. "Maddie, you know who Buck's known longer than Eddie? Has done the same thing for them as he's done for Eddie too? I mean, he's shown up for this person. Baby sat their kids. Saved them countless times at work. Hell, he even made sure that that person had to work Christmas day, that their kid was there at the station so that they could spend Christmas together."

Maddie looked confused, her eyes shifting from Josh to Eddie to Josh again. "You're just describing Eddie and him."

"No." Josh stressed out, "I'm describing Hen and Buck. They’ve known each other longer and Hen has been there for Buck just as much as Buck has been there for her."

"Hen's married though." Maddie reminded him in a sing-along voice.

"And if she wasn't?"

Maddie snorted. "She would still be a lesbian so it wouldn't work, obviously."

"Exactly." Eddie confirmed.

Maddie paused, the reality of the situation hitting her hard as she tried to reason again.

"Maddie," Josh started, pushing his drink aside, "Don't you want Buck to be happy?"

"Of course I do. He's my baby brother."

"And maybe that's really the problem then. He's not a baby, Maddie. He's a 33-year-old man who wants to be with the man he loves and have his sister support."

Maddie threw her hands up in frustration, "Would you take him and Tommy seriously if he was your baby brother? Buck is getting serious with the first guy he dated; he hasn't even explored what's really out there."

Eddie flinched at that; he knew Buck's history. The guy had explored LA quite enough.

"I know the situation is different, but remind me. How many guys did you date before you and Chimney got together?" Josh asked.

Eddie watched Maddie reel at that, her brows furrowing and lips pouted as she replied in a steely voice right back. "That's different."

"It is, but in some ways it's not. I mean, you were with one guy from what you've told me and you went from him to Chimney. You didn't really give your chance to explore LA's dating scene, did you?" Josh asked, "Did you settle for Chimney?"

"No!"

"So why did you pick him as your boyfriend?"

"Because I love him! He's a great guy, you know that! I've never had someone like that for me before. Chimney's been there for me, he's been patient with me. He's the one, why would I have looked for someone else when I wanted him from the start?" Maddie asked, she touched her wedding ring gingerly as she looked at Josh.

"Bingo." he told her gently.

Maddie opened her mouth to say something, her eyes widened as she realized the truth and closed her mouth. She started to rub her belly.

"You know Maddie, for someone who's mentioned how your parents always dismissed or second-guessed Buck's feelings growing up, you're doing a hell of job replicating that." Josh told her, he looked straight at her, his chin held high as if he was daring her to argue back about this. "When was the last time he spoke to them, hmm?" He knew it was a low blow, but he didn’t care. Nor did he care enough or had the patience to wait for her to answer, he knew she wouldn't by the way her eyes were getting glossy and how her cheeks were starting to turn blotchy. He tapped at the counter, fed up and tired with his so-called friend. "Thanks for the drink." Josh turned around and left.

Eddie looked back at Josh's retreating back and then at Maddie, "Call Buck." he told her, he didn't care to wait for a reply from her as followed Josh out of the house.

Josh was already standing by his car, leaning against it and looking pissed still.

Eddie let out a low whistle, "You went for the jugular there."

Josh sighed, "She'll get over it."

Eddie nodded; he shoved his hands into his pockets again, he wasn’t sure what he could say that was supportive enough. "Wanna get a drink?"

"God, yes."

-

Buck and Tommy had hardly been home from their respective shifts for an hour before a knock came from their door.

"You expecting anyone?" Buck asked as he set down his mug of coffee on the living room table.

"No." Tommy stood up and followed Buck to the door, expecting the worst since it was barely 9 am.

"Maddie?" Buck stepped aside as he let her in, "Are you okay? Did something happen?"

Maddie waved him off, "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. Nothing happened, I'm okay, so is the baby and Jee and Chimney." she tried to smile as she rubbed her protruding belly. "I just needed to come over here and apologize."

"Apologize?" Buck echoed, "For what?"

Maddie's mouth twitched down, she looked at Tommy and then at Buck. "I-I haven’t been the most supportive sister. I know that I've been dismissive about you and Tommy, how you feel about him." She clarified. She wiped away a tear, she noticed how uncomfortable Tommy looked and how sullen Buck became.

Maddie felt her heart break as she realized that Josh and Eddie were right.

She was hurting her brother and his boyfriend now.

She wasn't being any better than her parents when it came to how they treated Buck.

"It's not that I don't trust your judgement or ability to make choices, Buck, or even that I don't trust your relationship. I- I just thought that you were just delaying the inevitable while you were dating Tommy, that you were just waiting for Eddie to realize that-"

"You know that's never going to happen, Maddie. Eddie's straight and I have never felt that way for him." Buck cut her off curtly.

"I know, I know." Maddie rushed to answer when she realized Buck was getting annoyed, she saw how Tommy clenching his jaw tightly. "I think I was just trying to make sense of things because this was something I missed. I wasn't there for you for a long time, Buck, and I know that that was my fault, but I thought that for something this big- that you would have told me sooner or I don’t know, I would have seen it sooner. You’re becoming serious over someone, a guy for that matter." She quickly tried to explain herself once she realized Buck was starting to look defensive, "I mean- you have had this life and I don't think I’ve ever forgiven myself or accepted that you had it and made it on your own and now you have this boyfriend now and you're serious about him….I don't know, it's a lot. I just never expected my baby brother to really grow up I guess."

"I haven't been a baby for a long time, Maddie." Buck sniffed, stepping back from her as Tommy stepped closer to him to touch his hips momentarily

"I know. I know." she sniffed and wiped away more tears. "I-that's my fault." she admitted. "I never believed in you and him, and I know I’ve been coming off as…mean." she struggled to look at Tommy fully now, she gulped audibly, "I-I should have taken the time to know you. I should have been supportive from the start, and I wasn't. I didn't want to admit that you make Buck happy. I'm sorry." She looked at Buck again, "I'm so sorry, I want you to be happy. I really do and if Tommy makes you happy, then that's all that matters."

Buck nodded, wiping away his own tears as he took Tommy's hand in his. "You mean that?"

"Yes." Maddie sniffed, wiping her nose with her sleeve. "I love you, Evan. Whatever makes you happy, I'll be better at being supportive, I promise." she stuck out her pinky finger.

Buck let out a tearful laugh, as he pushed her hand aside and pulled her in for a hug. "I'm so sorry, Buck." she repeated, crying into his chest.

"I know. Thank you, Maddie."

She pulled away slightly from Buck and looked at Tommy, "Get in here." she laughed as she pulled Tommy into the hold, getting Tommy to finally smile and Buck to laugh along as well.

Buck was the first to pull away from the group hug. "Hey, do you want some breakfast? It's French toast." he told her, nudging his head in the direction of the living room, where Maddie noticed two plates of half-eaten French toast, eggs, and fruit.

"You made French toast after a shift?" she asked him.

Buck smiled at her and then looked over at a smug looking Tommy. "You think I'm gonna let him cook after a 48? Please." Tommy joked, he pointed to the kitchen, "Want a plate?" He offered.

Maddie nodded, rubbing her belly thoughtfully. "I would love some French toast, Tommy." she followed him into the kitchen, she looked back at Buck who gave her a relieved smile.

"Hey," Buck heard Maddie say to Tommy as they made their way into the kitchen, "Maybe one day I could show you my special occasion meatloaf, it's Buck's favorite dish when he's feeling down."

"I would love that, Maddie."

Buck clutched his heart playfully as he heard his sister and his boyfriend start to talk, he picked up their plates from the living room table and went into the kitchen to join them.

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

Hi, not an ask but song recommendations for catradora being toxic (not sure how to phrase it but yeah) - every time I hear them I think ‘this would make for a great ca edit’ but people would probably misinterpret them as being shippy

T

This is love by Air Traffic Controller - about an abusive relationship where the victim is blamed for not trying to get out of it, how they just actually like it. It’s mostly from the abuser’s pov, mocking the victim.

Bigger Person by Lauren Spencer Smith - nearly every lyric of this fits c/a perfectly and it’s a great song. It also fits scorptra but I think that her song Fantasy fits scorptra better - specifically after the show where catra’s supposed to be redeeming herself and is in a better place but still hasn’t properly apologised or tried to make amends for how she treated scorpia

Little Girl Gone by CHINCHILLA - I can picture the adora edit so clearly in my head where she’s finally standing up to Catra and shadow weaver, possibly a ‘dark’ adora au where she gets to be an antihero figure. Unfortunately, if there are edits to this song it’s probably a Catra edit where she’s taken over the horde and is being a GirlBossTM

Not Sorry for Loving You from EPIC the musical - Calypso is an interesting character to me and this song is kind of what I wish had happened with c/a. Context: Calypso has kept Odysseus on an island for 7 years cause she’s trapped there and desperate for someone to love and spend her days with - you can sympathise with her but she’s still a toxic and slightly narcissistic person. She finally is being forced to let Odysseus go but just has to let him know she’s in love with him. However, she spends the whole song doing the ‘you just couldn’t handle me’ sort of thing and when Ody tries to interrupt her she talks over him saying ‘let me speak’ when he hasn’t had a choice the whole time anyway. He’s made it very clear he’s married and isn’t interested and she’s spent years trying to convince him. Catra would absolutely sing a song like this, trying to come across as a victim and sympathetic but still being selfish. I wish that the show had gone the direction of Adora rejecting Catra and them still finding happiness outside a romance - it would’ve been less like the ‘they only bully you cause they like you!’ message and could’ve showed that even if someone is interested in you, you don’t have to give in to it to spare their feelings, especially if they’ve treated you horribly and haven’t done anything to make up for it.

Green by Taylor Bickett - about a jealous and possessive boyfriend who wants her to only be focused on him instead of her music/career. It gives the vibes of Catra hating adora for being she-ra and saving the world instead of ‘choosing’ her. It even has the lyrics ‘he’d cut these strings to pieces if it meant I’d have to stay’ which is exactly what Catra would do. That fanart Nate did of c/a and scorfuma hanging out that for some reason had the lore of ‘Catra cut up adoras t-shirt so she couldn’t wear it anymore and had to give it to Catra’. Couldn’t adora have just given her shirt to Catra? Why was that necessary?? (To clarify I don’t think Nate is a bad person he just makes weird choices sometimes that don’t feel like they’ve been thought through properly)

There are other songs that remind me of them but these are ones I think fit best. I think c/a could be a really interesting ship and I think I would’ve liked it better if it had stayed a fanship or had briefly gotten together at the end but realised they weren’t healthy and separated by the end of the show. It’s still fun to think about but in the ‘this is toxic but I want to see where it goes’ way rather than the actual shipping and thinking it’s healthy and cute etc. that most of the fandom seems to want from them.

Anyway idk if you like music recs but thought I’d give my thoughts here, let me know what you think 👍

yeah all of these definitely sounds like c//a to me. thanks for the recommendations, I'll check them out!

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

hello!!! i love your writing sm, i have a silly but 👀 request!!

age gap! yn x current johnny where yn is a mid/late 20s singer who is v famous (and v beautiful) and admits on a talk show that her first crush was johnny knoxville and she loved jackass when she was a kid and she still thinks he’s hot to this day and the clip goes viral. like so viral that it reaches johnny and he keeps getting asked about this hot young popstar crushing on him very publicly and he’s like obviously very into it but also flustered on how to answer 😭😭😭

to milk the moment a bit more johnny and his team invite her to do some sort of video (youtube? tiktok? you pick!) as a mini jackass revival. maybe steve-o is there too LMAO that’s totally up to you. but the tension in the video is….a lot 👀 comments are only about their looks to each other and behavior around each other 👀👀 maybe they fucked, maybe they didn’t. the general public speculates they did but they will never know. nothing is ever confirmed ofc.

the end is up to you 💖💖 do they or don’t they??

love your writing, hope you enjoy this request <33

Love in Hollywood

After a secret Y/N let slip goes viral on the internet, she gets the chance of a life time to meet her idol. Little does she know, she is exactly what Johnny needs.

Johnny Knoxville X Popstar!Y/N

(Fluff, Angst)

1.7k Words

Warnings: Suggestive content, legal age gap, power dynamics, masochisim mention, flirting, kissing, alcohol

An: Thank you for the request!! I would have never guessed Popstar!Y/N would be such a popular troupe! I think this fic is really well rounded in terms of emotional content (no spoilers!), and a bit more structured than em previous work if that makes sense? Anyways, thank you again and please keep requesting!

The stale air that swam in that sketchy apartment was illuminated with this septic, light strip purple glow. Internally cringing at yourself, you made painful small talk with those two hosts who seemed dead set on ruining your image. But that’s how most video podcasts go, right?

“No- no, hear me out!” In vain, you tried to explain yourself, “You saw him in the thing with the ball pit? With- with the snake, an’ the blood all dripping down his arm? Oh my god- that sounds so weird, but his muscles-! Just…” Oh, it was hopeless. That’s it, show’s over- pack up and go home.

The one chick was all veneers as she spoke up with this mean, highschool girl lilt in her voice, “Really? Like- outta anybody, you pick the one who gets hit in the nuts for a living?” You felt that metaphorical kick in the ribs. Shifting in the stiff, plastic chair, you kissed the idea of ever being taken seriously as a musician goodbye with a stiff upper lip. See, you always liked Johnny. You really liked him.

There was a depth you found in this man that the general public seemed to neglect for the whole dumb stuntman image. Call it para-social, call him your muse…“That's what happens when you watch Jackass at a formative age!” Blushing, you tried to play it off with humor and save yourself from sounding like some insane fangirl by giving some context, “He was, like- my first crush!”

The more discerning of the two hosts paused for a stagnant second, leaning in conspiratorially, “Okay, okay. If you had to pick: Johnny then, or like- Silver Foxville?” If someone told you this morning that you were gonna be asked that question on record, you would've never believed them.

I mean, if you said Johnny was hotter in the 2000’s, that's basically saying he’s less hot now, which you didn’t mean- but for Christ’s sake, the man was twice your age! Hello? Alarm bells? “That is a hard one…” Making a show of mulling it over in your head, you let out a hiss through your teeth, “I gotta say, he’s hotter now.”

Compare that seemingly insignificant omission you made a week ago, and how quickly it was plastered across Tik Tok, Reels, Shorts- you name it- to the beginning of that podcast episode, when you were discussing your upcoming album and how you spilled the big star who that promotional single about heartbreak was really about. Nooo, the hot word on the street was that Y/N was fiending over the old man.

The thunk of Johnny’s phone vibrating off of his bedside table woke him up. He couldn't guess when it was, but the bedroom in his Hollywood Hills pseudo-villa, and the cold space next to where he laid was still dark. Fishing around on the carpet, Knoxville squinted in the light of his screen. As best as he could see without his glasses, it was messages and emails from online tabloids asking about…some girl?

Oblivious to the source of the sudden media onslaught he was receiving, Johnny decided to reach out to one of his more tech savvy friends. “Dude- it’s everywhere!” Steve animatedly explained over the phone, far too chipper for this early in the morning. According to him, this hot, young singer chick was totally into him!

Sure, he’d lost those drunk dark circles around his eyes, but Johnny knew his body had undeniably seen better days: days with less greying hair, days when he woke up and didn’t look- or feel- like he was falling apart. Three kids and two divorces in, Knoxville decided to settle. Rubbing his eyes, he mumbled as he tried to find the time on the ceiling, “Yeah, real rich…I’ll believe it when I see it, O.”

Out of his league didn’t even begin to describe it. Even after watching that video, seeing the light glimmer in your eyes and the blush dance across your cheeks, the weight didn't really sink in until Johnny got that email from his manager. His past few movies were straight to streaming flops. This could be a real career revival- just a couple YouTube videos…

You had to stare at him for a moment, eyes wide as the coffee rings littering the countertop. In person, Johnny shone like all those movie awards he never won. You looked at him as if he were the sun, utterly drunk and blinded by B-list star power. Double his net worth and you were practically falling off your stool, stammering in that little boy lost at the zoo voice, “Ohmygod, you're really here...”

Admittedly less than you, Johnny was surprised as well upon first meeting you. In all your social media posts, you weren't half the woman shaped mass of raw nerve endings that sat across from him at that cafe table- and believe me, he had seen all of them. Trying to pretend he wasn’t at least a little flattered, Knoxville replied with cobbled together wit, “I am!” Yeah, real slick, buddy…Flashing you that charming, lopsided smile, Johnny’s flustered laugh just about made you melt. “So, uh- your manager was talkin’ about maybe doin’ a music video?”

Over a few cups of coffee, you tossed ideas back and forth with him, trying so hard not to make it weird. Inevitably, you did. But he started to see right through to those trembling hands- those big, awe filled eyes that gazed up at him while Johnny showed you some stunt concepts he’d jotted down.

When he was your age- Christ, that makes it sound so bad- women at bars would stub cigarettes out on his arm to flirt. That is if they didn’t punch him. So Johnny found you finding excuses to brush against his skin and those big goldfish eyes you flashed whenever you forgot yourself, a little endearing. Refreshing, in the middle of that little dry spell that comes with pushing fifty. “I, uh- I can’t believe I’m really here with you- working with you,“ you admitted, taking a sip to muffle your words, “just cause I said I had some…crush on you…”

It was sweet, and vulnerable, and you won over his heart just like that. Quickly however, you changed the subject, “So, uh- what day works best?”

Outside of the professional conversation, you knew Knoxville was entirely sure of how his words affected you. The glint behind his glasses, that coy little smile- you knew his tells. And for the next month, you went about the motions that come with making music videos, all the while internally fawning over Johnny like some lovesick puppy. He was dredging up some long dormant feelings in you! Sure, on set you held it together on set, but the second you got home, you turned into some giggling teenage girl, doodling hearts around his name in a diary…well, maybe not that, but you get the idea.

In the comments, you imagined Johnny’s return to stunt work would stirr speculation on a return to the Jackass franchise, or that people would be talking about how hot you looked in that skin tight little dress (which you knew you did). What you didn’t think was that they would be speculating on your relationship- yes, relationship. It was the glances, the body language. There was this tangible chemistry that was so blatantly obvious on camera. Talk all they want, the general public was not privy to how you developed that on screen relationship.

Leaning against the sticky bar top, you squinted through the heat lamp red lights hanging over your head. “Johnny- can I call you that?” As a very casual drinker, you felt out of place in the kind of sordid, cozy little joints Knoxville hadninvited you out to for the past month. In contrast, he could not feel any more at ease, passing you that cool line, “You can call me whatever you like, sweetheart.” This man was so painfully nonchalant about messing with you…Flush crept up your neck and kissed at your ears.

You were now familiar with the way booze drew out that version of him you knew when you were younger. Those gnarled converse and the anti-paparazzi ray bans he’d started sporting since filming began helped sell it.

The night went on, and two vodka crans later, you began relenting the public reception regarding the video. Immediately, Johnny leapt to your defense, “It’s a good song!” And then you, “You did some great stunts!” Knees bumping against each other, you had to lean your body into his in order to be heard- smelling his cologne, feeling that natural, human warmth, “And- and you looked great.”

Newly emboldened, but still timid under his gaze, you choked through your words, swallowing them before they could hit your tongue. On TV, you presented yourself as this bold, witty, creative artist, but Knoxville found keen satisfaction watching you fruitlessly grope for the flirty note.

Smirk dropping from his face, he murmured, “You looked hot.” Your heart stopped. While you were tortured (and yet, strangely turned on) by the screwed up power dynamics between the two of you, Johnny acknowledged them and ignored it. This is how he saw it: endearing, groupie-like devotion alide, you were both famous, and you were both sitting at the bar together. If all the presses were talking about was wether or not you fucked, well maybe they saw something: potential.

Common sense worn away by booze, in that dense, urging silence, it felt like the next beat would be for you to kiss him- naturally, like swallowing your own spit. Johnny’s shoulders stiffened and he was started at first, but he visibly relaxed into you after a few breaths, eyes fluttering shut. Too timid to touch him, you fumbled with the edge of your seat as you lingered there a moment, adrenaline pumping through your veins as it fucking hit you. You had your lips on Johnny Knoxville, and he

Eventually, you had to breath- pull away only to catch your breath in little pants, eyes falling half lidded. Wow. You looked stunning. Reaching out a broad hand, Johnny gently pushed a strand of hair off your face to press a sweet kiss to your forehead, melting you. It felt just as instinctual to lean into Knoxville’s touch, giggling softly as he gently ran his fingers through your hair. It felt so right, like there was some big, you shaped hole in his chest, and you’d just slotted yourself in his life. Standing up, Johnny murmured appreciatively, “Alright, girlie. Let’s beat this joint, hmm?”

[optimisticgardenhologram]

Well, another day another crackpot theory. Here we go - for second to last day!

So we all know that one way or another Mello definitely tricked Takada's bodyguard into entrusting him with Takada during the events that turned out to be kidnapping, but I'm wondering if he may have gone a step further-- like he may have actually infiltrated their organization and gotten an actual job with them?? 

...I am aware how out there this sounds but hear me out. 

Supporting evidence:

Let me begin with just a contextual note about how out of touch Halle Lidner was with the SPK during the events in Japan. In chapter 92 Rester mentions they (Near and the others) can't contact her directly because her phone is being monitored, and that she wasn't told the SPK's Tokyo location with the reasoning it would prevent her from being controlled to act against them. Makes sense. So anytime we see her in the scenes with Near (which happens rarely) she has to sneak away from her job and essentially join their Zoom call. After the awkward dinner where Misa and Takada fight Halle doesn't get in touch with them until 4 days later because she 'never gets time to herself'. 

It's not surprising that her job is demanding, given how high profile it is and how seriously Takada's security is taken - as Rester said, it's almost impossible to get close to her, and with her practically impenetrable layers of ultra aggressive bodyguards she's better guarded than the American President.

It's interesting given these circumstances that she seems to remain regularly in touch with Mello. During the silent scenes in chapter 97 there's a very interesting section that shows:

1)  Takada's fleet of guard vehicles, and prominently at the front of which is a large two-seater motorcycle.

2) Mello observing Halle and Takada from afar, in fact it seems the location the binoculars are watching from is located in a room INSIDE the NHN building, the headquarters of where Takada works.

3) a panel where Halle's shown on the phone (presumably given the context) with Mello telling him the details of Takada's schedule/planner book. Meanwhile Takada is sitting a few feet away and distractedly talking to someone else. This is interesting because we know, as Rester said, Halle's phone records are monitored. So here either she's very brazenly using a different unauthorized phone right in front of her employer and the other guards, or she's on her work phone calling an "approved" number. On the other hand it wouldn't necessarily be weird for her to be providing Takada's calendar details and movements to other members of her guard so they can coordinate schedules.

4) The last panels in this short series, shows a non-descript apartment building and Halle on the phone again - this time showing, as we will come to realize in the chapter 104 flashback, the final conversation between her and Mello - the one where she tells him Near's planning to end the case, and he replies "I have no choice but to do this."

Ok now skipping to Chapter 98, Mello and Matt's heist.

So January 26th the scene starts out with a shot of Takada's guard fleet, again the motorcycle prominently at the front.

As Takada's steps out of her car outside the NHN building, Matt blows in with his smokebomb gun causing a huge commotion. As the bodyguards are about to usher her inside, suddenly Mello is there on the same type of motorcycle we saw riding with her fleet in the earlier panels. He says it's too dangerous to stick around the area and to go with him. Halle recognizes him and agrees and encourages Takada to get on the motorbike. She also tells the rest of the team "A" to escort the bike and team "B" to go after the car. It's very unclear in canon just how much Halle knew about this plan beforehand (if anything even), but it is somewhat surprising to me how immediately she decided to go along with him, despite knowing that whatever he had in store for Takada it wasn't truly to help her, and that by giving Takada to Mello this would probably ruin Near's plan. Though again how much she even knew about the details of Near's plan is also unknown - I don't think she knows everything given she is being intentionally kept at arms length from them so that she can't be controlled by Kira against them.

I also think it's interesting that the army of highly trained and very serious guards would allow some unknown person to get so close to begin with - even if he's sort of disguised (but not really because his face is visible through the helmet's visor) and has the same style bike, you would think they'd still be able to tell a stranger from one of their own? Like when Mello calls out offering to take her away to safety none of the bodyguards seem put off by him being there. And don't seem to have raised flags about there being a bike that's not part of their typical cohort being among them. Though their defenses being down (counterintuitively - they were focused on the wrong thing) absolutely might just be tied in to the overall confusion and chaos at the scene though. 

So Takada gets on the bike, then they (Mello + Takada plus her guards' cars) start driving away in formation together and everyone seems satisfied. And once they are away from the scene, instructions come from one of the guards who says "Ok she's safe now. Get Lady Takada into car 7"......so this is interesting because, 

1) he is addressing Mello directly...remember Mello is on a motorcyle (which is very loud) and the speaker is in a car....so logic dictates he must be using a radio/speaker system to be able to communicate with the other guards, and he obviously expects the motorcycle to hear the command.

2) Saying "get her into car 7" is in-group specific language that implies Mello should know which car is number 7 and what is the process to "get her into it".  Of course, we don't know that he just *expects* Mello to be connected to their communication system and doesn't realize if he isn't and therefore doesn't hear the order/communication. Nonetheless the guard leader/speaker *thinks* he is.

At this point, when the guards cars think she is safe, Mello suddenly cuts away into a narrow alley and only then do the bodyguards realize she's been kidnapped.

So, basically that concludes my argument for why this theory is...possible? I'm well aware there's a number of issues with it that are unaddressed here, like wouldn't the other guards think it's odd that there's a foreigner amongst them? But interestingly I wonder if her circle of protection is more diverse than one might assume and include Kira-worshippers from around the world? Since Takada's own closest guards are not all Japanese - Halle being the obvious example, the same might be true for the more distant members of her guard complement as well. And Halle, as Takada's most trusted bodyguard may have been able to vouch for him to join the crew, or at least hook him up with equipment intended for insiders-only to be able to penetrate their ranks. With Mello's good social skills and fluency in Japanese it wouldn't be surprising if he could pull it off, especially if Halle helped him.

Another flaw is wouldn't Mello be concerned about Takada herself seeing his face and recognizing him? Since he must assume since the Japanese Task Force members know his face they'd be able to describe him to a sketch artist or something. To this I just propose that Takada has an extremely large staff of security, so there's likely ones just in the background that she doesn't interact with much or at all. And she is rather...how did Near put it - "a wannabe queen" - she probably doesn't take the time to get to know or even notice who the lesser members of her security team are, and it'd probably be easy to avoid being in close proximity to her if one wanted. 

Is it more likely that Mello didn't go that extreme extent and instead just infiltrated the guard in the regular way; by observing them, getting to know their movements via Halle, and then getting the same model of bike to take advantage of the chaotic situation he and Matt created and slip in to whisk away Takada in the confusion? Yes probably. 

But I found these details captivating and love overthinking and cooking up a good weirdo (but defensible within canon material) theory. I'd love anyone else's comments -criticism welcome too, I have a thick skin- on this idea.

[towriteloveontheirarms]

Maths genius (Michael Gavey x Reader)

synopsis: You ask your class mate for a tutor session under the guise of desperately needing it. To his surprise he gets something much better than having to try to teach a girl maths.

warnings: flirting, smut, a bit of dry humping, p in v sex, afab reader

word count: 2.7k

taglist: @fan-goddess @hopelesswritergall

(If you want to be tagged for a specific character/fandom/series or in general let me know in my asks, comments or DMs)

A/N: Writers block still has me tight in it´s clutches, but I´ve watched Saltburn for the first time today and I didn´t want to write on this for another week so here you have my first Michael Gavey fic.

As you walk into the otherwise quiet library the clicking of your heels fills the room. Prompting a few students to turn their heads and look. You don't think much about them as you take a book from the large shelves and spot a person from your lectures. Michael Gavey. So you decide to sit down close to him. You had always thought him to be rather cute. Even if nerdy and slightly off putting, still.

You focus back on the book in front of you. However, in a matter of minutes however your confident posture crumbles to a confused expression.

It takes another while for you to look up from the book in frustration. So you miss the way he avoids eye contact at all costs. Yet you search it out nevertheless.

"Hey, you are Michael Gavey, right?" You speak quietly as to not disturb the other students.

“Uh yeah” His tone is nothing short of standoff-ish and at the same time surprised. It is clear that he wasn’t expecting to be spoken to.

It takes you back slightly, but you continue nonetheless. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to bother you, but we are in the same class."

“Oh, we are. I don’t remember your name though.”

You offer him your name with a small smile. You understand that he hadn't had the easiest time connecting with your classmates, so you made a point to be different from them.

"Say, you are like a certified maths genius. Do you do tutoring?" You switch seats to sit right across the table from him.

A not entirely recognizable spark lights up behind the glasses as you do so.

“Uh… I don’t tutor or anything. Are you having trouble?” His tone softens ever so slightly.

"Yes. I have been falling behind ever since we started the new topic. I just don't get it. At all." You play with a strand of your hair and lean forward a bit in the hopes to make him say yes.

As soon as he identifies your flirting you can see he draws a blank. It's honestly kinda cute.

“Well, m-maybe you want to come over to my place later..." When he realizes that that could sound weird taken out of context, he quickly adds "So I can teach you.”

"That would be just great, but I thought maybe we could meet up at my dorm?”

You take one of your fingers to trace small patterns into the back of his hand. You know you are laying it on thick, it´s visible in the uncertain spark behind the nerdy glasses, lighting up his piercing blue eyes.

“Yeah, of course! Let’s do your room. What building are you in?” The way Michael nods so fast you are scared that his glasses fall off, makes you hide a giggle behind your hand.

"Gimme your hand." You grab a pen and pull his hand towards you.

When you write your room number onto the inside of his wrist, Michael´s eyes lock with yours like a deer in headlights.

“Got it. I’ll be over at 7:00. Will that work?”

"That works perfectly actually. I'll see you then." You give him a wink and strut away with what Michael believes to be a bit of a spring in your step.

“Um... yeah... see you then.”

His eyes follow your retreating form until you are out of sight, before he looks down at your note again, while you smile to yourself. There is only one more lecture separating you from your little `date´.

One lecture and one clothing change later, you are just about to freshen up your lipgloss when a faint knock can be heard from the door. Right on the time that you agreed upon. Michael looks down to his shuffling feet on the ground when you open the door to him, which gives you the advantage of seeing his full reaction to seeing your clothes. Bit by bit his blue eyes wander up over the thigh high stockings, pausing at the pleated skirt and over the oversized sweater until they come to a halt on your face. Instantly any sound of your name dies on his tongue.

“I um… I’m here for the… the math lesson.” He mumbles. It's almost comical how his face reddens as he pushes the glasses up his nose.

The reaction elicits a giggle from you. It is obvious that there will be a lot done tonight, but studying wouldn't take up the biggest part of it.

"Come on in." You take a step back to make way for his tall figure to enter your room.

He nods once as he does so. His gaze getting drawn back to you as he tries to maintain eye contact.

“You look… uh…”

"I look...?" It's kind of fun to see him struggle like this.

“H-hot. You look really hot and it’s distracting.” He quickly looks down so as to avoid your gaze again to hide the worsening of the blush. "So, where do we start?”

"At the beginning, maybe?" You smirk.

“Yeah… good point.” He sits down at the desk while you lean over him.

As he opens your book and begins to explain to you the foundations of the topic you let your breasts graze Michael's back and arm deliberately every now and again to put him off. It's not a hard task, with every brush of your sweater against his shirt, he stumbles over his words. It is palpable that no matter how hard he is trying to concentrate on the work in front of him, your body pulls his eyes away from the book again and again. At one point you even think you can see his length twitch underneath the cargo shorts. Letting this go on for as long as you can, you eventually put on a seemingly concerned and innocent face and lay a hand on his forehead as if to feel his temperature.

"My... You are so warm. Are you feeling well?"

Behind his eyes the wheels are turning in a desperate attempt to think of a clever response, but at this point it is just impossible. As soon as you placed your hand on Michael's forehead, all that comes out is “I-I… uh… I… “

"Come, sit on the bed. I think we should take a break from studying." You gently take his hands in yours to lead him over to the edge of your bed.

A lead without even thinking about it. The urge to just give himself up to you is building rapidly by the second.

“S-sorry. Uh… I mean I… “

"Shhh." You lay your finger under his chin to keep his gaze locked with yours. "Is this your first time?"

"Yes." Michael breathes out.

"Stop me if I go too far..." You murmur against his lips, closing your eyes just before you lean down more for your lips to meet in a feather light brush.

A shiver went through his previously relaxed body and his hot breath hit your lips harder as he kissed back. Your hand that currently holds him by the chin wanders upwards to cup one of Michael's cheeks. His hands begin to slide down the outside of your thigh, suddenly pulling you onto his lap. As he does so, the fabric of the skirt bunches at your waist. The action provokes your breath to falter and to press your body as close to his as possible. Instinctively your lips open further, to allow for a more intense kiss. One of Michael´s hands wanders behind your back to support you on his lap and then, finally, he moves his lips to your neck, giving it a soft bite.

"Oh, Michael." You whimper as his teeth graze your skin. Grinding your core against his lap as a reaction.

His hands wander further up under the fabric of your sweater, cold skin caressing warm skin and leaving goosebumps in their wake.

"Don't stop kissing me, please." Your words are barely a shuddering whisper.

His mouth leaves your neck and moves down your body to kiss your chest through the thick sweater. Sucking on your nipples until there are two wet spots staining it. The bundled nerves standing hard at attention, but your sweater is in the way of what you are doing, so his hands wander from just under your ribs further up. With a tingle running down your spine you lift your arms up in aiding him to throw the piece of fabric to the side. Not caring where it lands. You are all too glad to lose it. He too doesn't waste a single second and litters your breasts with kisses and nibbles. This time though, you feel a tug at the hem of your skirt.

The sensation makes your desire for him grow incredibly high. The zipper on the side  gets opened fast and in a swift motion you lift your body off his lap just long enough to kick it aside. There is no time or need for words.

"Your body is incredible." The words hit your skin between heavy breaths as his hands run over your stomach, rubbing tight circles into the soft skin before continuing to wander down to massage your thighs. Michael's lips wander further down your body as well to follow suit. His warm tongue traces down your middle from the valley between your breasts down to just about your belly button. Your reaction to his teasing came instantly in the form of a quiet moan. Which got followed by a knock at your door. Assuming it was just your friend that forgot something the other day, you don't make an effort to stop what you are currently doing. She needed to learn eventually after all, a notion which gets you an uncertain look from Michael beneath you.

But you only place a finger on your lips in a sign to be quiet.

"Shhh" You whisper to him and then thread your hands into his short hair to guide his face right in front of your exposed chest. Something he willingly allows, attaching his lips to nibble at your bosom. Littering it with bite marks and hickeys, tracing every little curve of it. The ministrations get you to completely forget about the knock on the door just a second ago and also the one rule you set after it. Yet at his needy nibbles and licks you can't help being unable to hold back the squeal of enjoyment that sounds through the room.

In a hurry Michael moves his mouth away from your chest and covers your mouth with one of his hands.

“Shhhhh... Your friend will hear us.” His palm lays snug against your face, so as not to let any sounds through. Something that you allow until you get a better idea. Unbothered if the two of you can be heard any longer, you warp your lips around Michael´s long, slender fingers to swirl your tongue around them teasingly.

A shock of warmth goes through his body, making itself noticeable by the way his face burned. When you feel like he had been teased enough, you let his hand free with a wet `pop´

Immediately they get replaced by his lips once more as they catch yours in a searing kiss, at which you let out a most sinful sounding moan.

“Fuck…” Both of you curse under your breaths simultaneously.

By now he has done a great job at making you desperate for more and so your trembling fingers move down to work at the buttons of his shirt. It takes a while, but eventually and with a bit of teamwork, you are able to throw it to the ground as well. Just then Michael leans all the way back until his back lays flat against the mattress. The new position makes it easier for you to grind against him, a chance you use immediately by running your barely covered cunt over the tent in the blond's pants.

"I need more..." A tiny whimper passes Michael's lips. "Need to be inside of you."

At his words your hands stop caressing his body and come down to fumble open the button of his pants. Though you don't entirely grant him his wish yet. The moment is too good to not stretch out. His pants and underwear get pulled down barely as far as they need to, before you grind on his dick again. As you do so, his member twitches up to tease your covered clit, which makes your head fall back and mouth open to make way for steadily heavier growing breaths.

When you lean forward to lock your swollen lips with his again however you move your hips a bit too far. So as you move them backwards again you only have a short moment to process the fact that his cock had slipped past the lace panties and entered your fluttering, wet heat.

“You´re so tight.” Michael can´t fight off or quieten the loud moan any longer, but the complete lack of stimulation after what you had done previously began to get to you.

“Shit. Michael I really need you to move or else I´m going crazy.” Though it wasn´t an ask from your side it also wasn´t a command, yet the blond followed it instantly. His hands gripped your hips tightly and set a slow rhythm by guiding your movements to meet his thrusts.

Both of your moans, groans, whines and whimpers fill the room along with the wet slapping of skin against skin.

”Feels so good, Michael. Feel so good inside of me.” You lean back and prop yourself up on his thighs, allowing you to fasten the movements of your hips.

“I´m not going to last much longer. You´re so wet and perfect.” He mumbles as the flush on his cheeks darkened and spreading over his face until it reached the tips of his ears.

His cock twitches inside of you as if to underline that statement. So you lead one of his hands away from your hips to your throbbing clit. Picking up on your actions Michael's thumb rubs small, tight circles into the sensitive bundle of nerves. Reveling in the way your walls flutter even further around his length, bringing him closer to the edge as your noises become even more urgent and high pitched.

“Come for me.” You say when you feel yourself get close as well. It is a whisper at first, but with a little concentration from that hazy brain of yours, you are able to repeat it a little louder. “Come for me, now.”

The blond´s eyes roll back into his head, one last whimper leaves his lips and then the feeling of warm ropes of cum filling your core floods your body. His hips stutter in their movements, but yours are from done. Continuously and relentlessly they drive you up and down on his cock. Soon after Michael you get overwhelmed by the waves of pleasure, forcing you to sit back in his lap as your legs and hips shake from the climax. Swaying back and forth on top of him for a while, before you are able to catch your breath and think straight again.

“Shit…” You hear Michael whisper beneath you.

Looking down at him, you can´t conceal a giggle at how entirely fucked out he looks. His hair is mussed and his glasses sit slightly crooked on that sharp nose. It´s almost comical.

The two of you take some more time to come back to reality and get dressed again.

“I better be going now.” Michael croaks, lingering close to you for a second. Uncertain if he should say what he was thinking. “But um… If you would like to have another study session some time… I wouldn´t be opposed to that.”

“I wouldn´t be opposed to it at all either.” Followed your flirty response.

It surprises him visibly, though he manages to sort himself out rather quickly.

“Do you mean that?” He inquires.

“I surely do. Give me your number and I´ll call you.” It is more of a suggestion, but he gives you his number so fast you almost have trouble catching it the first time. Snapping your phone shut after saving it, you turn to look back at Michael.

“I can´t wait to see you again.” You wink and give a small, alluring wave.

[deadchannelradio]

top worst thing (which is ridiculously common in fanfic but also in actual novels) with bilingualism is probably the insistence on structuring sentences like you would in english/as the author wants them to be. the former can lead to just plain wrong grammar (an actual published novel once tried to write 'the red sea' or smth in arabic like each word was being translated separately. and the end result was like if this sentence was constructed from several duolingo lessons. it was so against the rules of arabic sentence structure that i literally just stopped reading the book). At the same time, the latter is icky because it's not a thing in that language but it's also not a thing in english. Hence, it feels more like Ooh Exotic Cool Thing i can pass off as part of this language that i don't speak (like nearly every single bilingual character I've read fanfic of has said some version of 'brother/sister/sibling' in another language so repetitively that you'd think this was actually a common cultural phenomenon. but no.)

a couple smaller things would probably be misused petnames/petnames taken out of their cultural context. cause sometimes its just like... that's not what you think it is. and other times its a the word is dramatically the wrong gender (this can be referring to people but it can also just be a random noun). theres also the awkward phenomenon of unnecesarily specific descriptions, because no one is thinking 'oh, the melodious notes of her foreign syllables are like music to my ears' about people's english, and there's no reason for it to be like that in any other language.

and when writing a different language into the actual body of the story... its kind of hard to form an opinion on this tbh. cause if the script is entirely separate from english (I'll just use arabic as an example cause that's my other language) it's absurd to think your non-arabic-speaking readers will be able to think of it as anything other than like. a shape or a squiggle. but when it's transliterated, its harder for the arabic-speaking readers to know what it's supposed to mean. and then some sounds don't even exist in the basic english alphabet, so they have to be romanized, and it all just starts to become very confusing, so i think that's more up to your personal preference.

and of course there's the difference between formal language vs more relaxed language and different types of dialects and some words mean wildly different things in different dialects(again, my example in arabic would be that certain sounds at the ends of words aren't always there in informal settings, other letters are pronounced differently by dialect, there's words that don't mean the same thing at all between the morroccan and gulf dialects, etc.)

i feel like in general, some people are just very Weird about bilingualism. because for the bilingual character it really is just A Thing In Their Life. and its not a big thing unless this is actually central to their characteristics and traits. but i guess that doesn't really occur to the writers because its such a Big Thing in their eyes? idk

anyways sorry for leaving an essay in your inbox lol, hopefully this helps!!

you can leave essays in my inbox anytime anon this was a great and very informative read!!!

[hottopicwannabewithgayhighlights]

What if Movie!Shadow wasn’t made by Professor Robotnik?

Walk with me

From the very first trailer this line from Sonic has been bugging me.

He calls Shadow a “rogue alien” which has always sounded a bit off to me. If the movie is following his game backstory, Shadow should’ve been born on Earth - or at least in Earth’s atmosphere. He’s the only one of the non-human characters to be native to Earth. Yeah, I know I’m splitting hairs but keep walking with me.

In an earlier scene in the trailer, the General describes Shadow’s past like this:

“A lot like yours”

Now, we don’t know how much the General knows about Sonic’s backstory, but if you compare it to Shadow’s game backstory - I wouldn’t call them similar. Sonic’s only family was murdered and he spent years all alone in the forest. Shadow was an experiment created by Robotnik to be the Ultimate Lifeform™️ and raised on the ARK. Yeah it’s an oversimplification of both of their lives but I don’t wanna be here all day.

The point is - Sonic and Shadow’s backstories aren’t alike at all and it’s weird that the General would say they are.

But

What if the movies weren’t following Shadow’s game backstory?

What if he wasn’t created by Robotnik?

What if he was created by Black Doom?

Black Doom creates an ultimate life form out of “Mobian” and Black Arms DNA. Someway, somehow, Shadow escapes Black Doom and finds himself on Earth (with or without his memories of his time with the Black Arms) and is adopted by Professor Robotnik in order to create a cure for Maria.

Or something like that.

What I’m trying to say is I think the movie is going to tweak Shadow’s origin. I’m not overly concerned about that; all of the characters have had their backstories tampered with one way or another. I’m interested to see how they’ll take this rendition of Shadow, especially with him possibly getting a spin-off movie.

Or

I’m just paying way too much attention to lines taken out of context.

Anyway

Thanks for taking this walk with me you can go home now.

[weirdmageddon]

yesterday i wrote a scene where jade wasnt a plot device and was left the hell alone in A6A5 because this being dave and jade’s last proper conversation in years made me sad and i wanted to see them reunite properly. i mixed a bit of narration in too even though it was rare around this point in the comic but its just to paint a better picture. also i wouldnt mind feedback on character voice (it’s important to me that the dialogue sounds believable)

[3 years are over, everyone is in the new session. The prospit ship is on LOMAX, as is everyone who arrived on the meteor, safely warped by Jade onto LOMAX as well. Jade has banished B2 Jack to the Furthest Ring already. She hasn't seen her friends in 3 years, not to mention she never met the trolls in person yet.]

[Jade teleports to LOMAX where John was talking with the meteor crew. Her eyes widen when she sees the trolls, giving everyone a greeting. Jade waves to the trolls.]

You’ll have time to catch up with them later. First you want to reconvene with Rose and Dave.

> ==>

Dave... Oh my god! DAVE!!! That’s right! The last time you saw him, he died in your arms after Jack redirected the bullets from your gun into his body!

JADE: dave!!!! DAVE: hey DAVE: this has been three years coming hasnt it DAVE: cmere

> ==>

[Dave hugs Jade with a slight grin on face. He notices her… sniffing him?? but doesn’t even bother to question it.]

JADE: it is so nice to hold your body when its not a corpse :) DAVE: ok DAVE: weird thing to say DAVE: actually who am i kidding who gives a shit DAVE: i almost forgot how much i missed the enigmatic riddlefuckery that is your phrasing DAVE: fortunately i have context for this so i know what youre saying DAVE: humor me for a sec and imagine that i didnt DAVE: but first DAVE: are those dog ears JADE: yes! i am part dog now JADE: because i prototyped my dreamself with becsprite JADE: jadesprite became part of me! and so did her doggy traits from bec DAVE: got it DAVE: oh yeah john mentioned that on the back of his dumb poster inside that bucket that appeared out of thin air DAVE: right before we had to haul ass out of there before jack caught up to us DAVE: karkat had a complete fucking meltdown over that btw i wish you couldve seen it DAVE: damn it feels like so long ago now JADE: heheheh i remember JADE: john realized it at the last second but it was too late! DAVE: of course it was johns idea only he could do something that gooberish DAVE: you know what this means though JADE: yup!! woof woof DAVE: it means youve done it harley DAVE: youve finally done it god damn it DAVE: the evolution of humankind is finally upon us DAVE: the scientists said it would never happen in our lifetime DAVE: but look what we have here DAVE: before me stands mans first legitimate furry subspecies DAVE: homo canis DAVE: as the name implies theyre gay as fuck btw DAVE: its too bad all those scientists are dead and cant witness this phylogenetic breakthrough DAVE: rip to the science community yall wouldve lost your collective shit DAVE: hey jade lets pour one out for the science community for being real ones

> ==>

You are still nestled into Dave’s shoulder. He’s taken a sort of protective position over you. Your perceptive barkbeast ears can hear his formerly bullet-riddled heart beating a mile a minute with the regularity of quartz beneath his time-branded pajamas, all the while he continues to ramble to you about certifiably dumb shit. You can tell Dave is psyched to see you again, even if he expresses it in his OWN bizarre way, which means extended metaphors and topical tangents. What a hypocrite, calling YOUR phrasing perplexing! You sure missed this guy.

You realize you started tuning him out while thinking about all this.

DAVE: jade JADE: umm homo is the species name JADE: so wouldnt that mean were all gay? :p DAVE: yeah that sounds about right DAVE: anyway enough of this bullshit

> ==>

[Dave motions to retract his arms since he doesn’t want it to get too weird, but Jade squeezes tighter. Dave immediately yields to the movement]

DAVE: jesus wow ok DAVE: really happy to see you too DAVE: like if you had a tail it would be wagging so forcefully youd be knocking over all the fucking furnishings in the room DAVE: just slapping it so hard on the owners thigh that it feels like theyre being flogged DAVE: talk about getting bitch slapped JADE: :D DAVE: so howve you been JADE: really really excited to see you guys all again!!! JADE: and to meet the trolls! DAVE: yeah theyre pretty weird DAVE: and im still not used to it DAVE: but it gets more manageable the longer youre around them DAVE: by the way JADE: ?

> ==>

DAVE: sorry you had to go through that JADE: through what? DAVE: seeing me die and stuff again DAVE: except that time right in front of you JADE: .... DAVE: when we were gathering up all those frogs i knew jack was going to appear DAVE: i was waiting and waiting to play it out DAVE: mentally rehearsing my fucking torso getting turned into swiss cheese and knowing you would have to watch on top of it DAVE: i had to make sure it happened to protect the integrity of the alpha timeline DAVE: but if you knew this was going to happen you wouldve tried to prevent it and created a doomed one DAVE: and so i didnt say anything DAVE: i couldnt DAVE: so DAVE: sorry for putting you through that JADE: oh..... JADE: dave D: JADE: well im here JADE: if you ever want to talk about it DAVE: its cool DAVE: you just deserve to know what happened there DAVE: but thanks DAVE: so am i JADE: yeah i know JADE: i guess i should be glad you did that then... JADE: even though i was freaking out when it happened ._. JADE: otherwise you wouldnt be here will us now dressed in your red god tier time pajamas DAVE: yeah these magical rags really are comfortable arent they DAVE: and they stay like perma clean JADE: they are! i would wear mine over and over for days on end JADE: id take a nice shower and put it right back on JADE: and you know how much i love cycling my outfits through my wardrobifier JADE: by the way dave your cape is sooo cool! :o DAVE: thanks DAVE: yeah i love it its hella soft DAVE: its like ive got a portable snuggle blanket with me in case i ever need to drop to the floor like a tired sack of shit and get my snooze on DAVE: ive got a permanent personal reservation at club bed featuring dj pillow and mc blanky JADE: heheheh JADE: can i touch your cape? DAVE: of course go nuts JADE: yaaaay!!

[susiephone]

Or, a crash course in checking your sources. Because we've all seen some absolutely bullshit stuff spread around the internet, and Tumblr definitely isn't immune to it.

It can be hard to sort out the fact from the rumor from the propaganda when a story is actively developing, especially one that is fast-moving and has a lot of voices coming in from all sides, but it is vitally important that you check your sources before spreading a claim.

It's easier to verify or disprove a claim about something that's purported to have happened in the past, so, admittedly, checking stuff that's purported to be happening now is a messy, confusing process. All the more reason to err on the side of caution.

I am not a journalist or professional researcher or historian or anything like that, so this is all coming from a layman who does their best to be informed. If I get anything wrong, or anyone more qualified has something they want to add, please let me know in the notes.

Why should I check my sources?

Because you should care whether you're spreading propaganda or not.

Because sometimes in the heat of the moment, when emotions are running high, it's easy to be misled.

Because every time you spread misinformation to help your own cause, even - or especially! - if that cause is righteous, it becomes a ding on your credibility, and the credibility of your cause.

Because when you don't, a journalist loses their wings. Probably. Fact-check me on that.

How do I know when to check my sources?

If you don't recognize the source, check it.

If you hear a claim and think, "Wow, that is so cartoonishly evil," or, "That's so absurd I'd think it was far fetched if it was in a movie," or, "It's weird no mainstream outlets are reporting on this," check it.

Now, a claim sounding too bizarre or evil to be real doesn't always mean it isn't--I mean, half of what I hear about George Santos sounds like an SNL sketch and it always ends up true. But check it.

If the claim sounds like something a Nazi would want you to believe, check it.

If a claim is only being spread by one or two small sources, check it.

How do I check my sources?

The following sites are great resources for fact-checking.

PolitiFact. Ranks claims on a truth-o-meter and provides context for what's true, mostly true, kinda true, and made-up.

Media Bias/Fact Check: Publishes lists of fact checks from other credible sources, and ranks media outlets on their bias and trustworthiness.

Climate Feedback: Verifies claims about science, especially climate change.

Lead Stories: Verifies claims as they develop, especially stuff spreading on social media.

Here is a list of sources Media Bias/Fact Check considers to be the least biased.

What are some red flags to search for? / What are some questions I should ask myself?

Does the claim only come from a handful of small sources?

Do all those sources only cite each other?

It bears repeating: does this claim sound especially sensational or over-the-top? I know it sounds basic, but when you're furious at somebody (be it a person or a government or a system), it can be easy to believe every horrible thing you hear about them. But just because someone is awful doesn't mean every rumor about them doing awful things is true, and you still have a responsibility to keep your criticism accurate.

Who provides funding to the source? Do they work off of grants, reader donations and subscriptions, government backing, private donors? Do they not disclose their funding at all?

Has the source been caught spreading false info before? How long ago was this? Did they issue a correction in a timely manner? Was the journalist who spread the false claim fired or otherwise reprimanded? Does it seem like it was a mistake, or was there an agenda at play? Has the source taken steps to reestablish credibility?

Who benefits from me believing this?

Okay, I did all my fact-checking, and I'm really not sure if this claim is true or not.

Then don't share it.

If more information comes out and it turns out to be true, then go ahead.

But if there's doubt, don't share it.

Okay, sure, but the claim sounds like it could be true, and-

"Could be true" and "is true" are not the same.

Fine, but the person or government it's talking about has already done so many awful things, even if this specific rumor isn't true-

DON'T. SHARE. IT.

I am going to come to your house and bite you.

Further information.

How to fact-check like a pro.

The Psychology of Fact-Checking.

What is fact-checking?

Misinformation (YouTube video)

And there we go! If anyone has anything to add, go ahead, but I will be monitoring the comments and will be blocking any nonsense.

There's enough misinformation spread by bad actors in our current media landscape. Please don't make their job any easier.

[the-void-and-the-valley]

i might have something kinda chronically online to say abt arcane gang so bare w me

spoilers ahead for arcane season 2 ‼️‼️‼️

a little context before hand:

- this is coming from someone who grew up with being okay with never seeing queer people/ships ever confirmed in shows, just because it was never done, rather than a place of "mleh my ship wasn't confirmed >:((("

- a person whose first words to describe my queer identity was lesbian, and who still resonates very deeply with that identity

- a massive fan of arcane and lol

so now for the possibly very whiney sounding part:

isn't it a little bit,,, weird that in a show full of so much queer rep,,,, there was no confirmed queer men at all???? correct me if i'm wrong, but through out the show we had a lot of 100% queer women shown on screen (obviously caitvi, but also a lot of background characters)

meanwhile i can't think of a single time a man was shown to be confirmed as queer????

and then to get specific, we had caitvi kiss multiple times, and then of course the sesbian lex scene, we had timebomb (jinx/powder and ekko) kiss on screen, and it was all great and amazing!!!!!

but then we had jayce and viktor, the start and end of everything (CANONICALLY), pour their hearts out, hold each other close, save each other over and over again,,, hug?? press their foreheads together???

do NOT get me wrong, the scene was beautiful and incredible and honestly way more than i expected, but just in context with the wlw relationships and other major ships in the show, it just feels a little strange that they didn't kiss?

i mean look at the gif sets people are posting showing love in the show!! almost all of them have a kiss, then you have jayvik,,,

idk, this is not meant to be taken too deeply, and i just want to see if anyone else noticed, so please don't tear into me, i love the show and all the characters and ships very much, i just got to thinking

[libraford]

with the disagreement you've been recently been posting about about those kids making insults and sexually harassing you do you not think you could both be right? Like to me this doesn't sound much like a argument just different perspectives and values.

The woman from Facebook was right in that you probably could have taken time to talk to those kids just to say something like hey thats not nice and shut them down. Most kids stop when confronted with an adult especially in a school setting as they see you as an authority figure and dont want to get in trouble. In all likelihood that conversation would have taken around 5 - 15 minutes at most and probably wouldn't have really hurted your workflow.

Your right in saying that you technically didn't have to do any of that and your responsibility ended at reporting their behaviour and hoping that the principal will act accordingly. To me it seems like neither of you are wrong your just coming at this from 2 different angles.

I am not an authority figure. I am a dude with a camera.

I did confront them. They doubled down and escalated.

The protocols of my job for harassment from any students or faculty are to not engage, walk away, report it to the authority.

The two different angles we're coming from here are that I'm not an employee of the school, the school is my client and my role with the kids is mostly as a passive observer. When something goes wrong, its my duty to report it and not engage any further.

And she is a building sub, who takes an active role the students' day to day. When something goes wrong, she is allowed to engage but she also has a mandated duty to report it.

At many points in the conversation, I pointed out that we had different roles and why a one-on-one (or actually in this case one-on-four) talk would not have been an appropriate or welcome response in my context.

"What I said was the difference in the impact it would make had you done something else (with one-on-one talk implied) and the likelihood that the principal wouldn't done anything at all."

See, that sentence right there- is very guilt-trippy. She's telling me that I should have done more. The very long paragraphs are implying that I should be thinking about the situation from their perspective because if they're acting out its because something is wrong at home. This was an analysis of the situation that I didn't need or ask for because its not my job to consider the home life of students.

"Pretty much every interaction affects our kids."

This is putting the onus of their mental health on me and that's kind of a weird thing to ask of a stranger and the subject of harassment.

I'm not trained in de-escalation. So I don't de-escalate.