#all of the girls are like that (unless i'm wrong) so i guess pan is just pan

[shizunstan]

Is Pan just Pan or is she Son Pan?

[lukweer]

ok so like there are two parts of me, right? well there are a lot of parts but english is hurting me right now and my head isn't working so you will make due/do(?)

anyways one part is like: my sense for gay people is strong, i think i know which f1 drivers are gay and i am confident in my answers

but the other part is like: its wrong to speculate sexuality because if people havent come out then they either aren't ready to be out or aren't gay, but at the same time this generation is moving away from the construct of coming out so like... idk.

today the first part is stronger, though, so i want to share my speculations because everyone in the states only watches nascar and is a hick and i'm scared of them. they also do not like my italian accent :(

1. Max Verstappen

come on guys, any gay person could tell u he's probably bi. i mean he doesn't even try to hide it, u know? like there are compilations of him being fruity. and they are shockingly long.

he's mentioned using grindr, he's mentioned girls OR guys when talking about dating preferences, the whole thing with the freaking lei (i think thats how it is spelled, the hawaiian thing? the flower necklace?). the list goes on and on.

he's had girlfriends, and i'm pretty sure they weren't beards but i'm not sure. i'm leaning towards bi tho for this reason.

even if he isn't bi or gay or pan or whatever, he's at least incredibly comfortable with queerness and is probably a really cool dude. annoying when i'm watching the sunday races, but love him the rest of the time!

2. Lando Norris

lando is a bit more subtle with it (as are the other ppl in the list). emphasis on a bit, though.

unless you live under a rock, you've probably seen this gif:

this has called many aboard the lando is a little fruitcake train. what people don't realise is that he "eye fucks" or like... stares lovingly a lot.

other examples include:

staring lovingly at carlos sainz

checking out charles leclerc (kind of? i think he is checking him out)

staring lovingly at carloz sainz

this weird ass moment with, you guessed it, carloz sainz

there are a lot of these photos and clips out there, but i'm lazy and don't feel like looking for them so yeah. take my word for it.

i saw a post saying that if carlos and lando pulled up to the paddock holding hands and telling people they were dating they wouldn't be shocked. i agree with this statement entirely. as was stated, it takes a lot to get to that point, and we're at that point.

now i grew up a gay dude to a conservative family, and i know the little mannerisms that are like... a part of being gay? and i know what it looks like to hide them.

i do not know if this is the right way to say it or if it is politically correct, but i believe it to be true. gay men tend to have little mannerisms here and there that give us away a bit, and i think i've seen some of those in lando.

i don't think i will share them though, as i don't want to accidentally push harmful stereotypes or whatever. obviously not all gay men have gay mannerisms and it might be something lando is insecure about so i would rather not put them on blast.

if it's not a bad thing i may come back and edit this and add them in. idk, let me know i guess? i am still learning american customs.

3. Yuki Tsunoda

this is probably going to be the shortest section (ha).

yuki mostly just makes my radar go off. i don't consume alphatauri content as much, but i know there was a thing with him and pierre that was just crazy last year and the year prior. don't know as much about it as i should haha.

but yeah. yuki just sends my radar into the astral plane (is that a thing? i am doubting myself). if he is not at least bisexual i will eat my own foot.

maybe that one moment between him and michael italiano has just gotten to me, i don't know. i trust in my instincts though.

Honourable Mentions

4. Danny Ric

idk he just gives the vibe! i don't know how to explain my radar. gay people know. i think it is called gaydar.

DR is on it.

5. Carlos Sainz

he is probably on my gaydar the least, but he's still on there. latest vlog he gently combed his finger through ruperts hair. he's probably deeply in love with lando. just little things like that i guess!

6. Oscar Piastri

this may be wishful thinking. i sit in bed at night and pray that he is into men.

that is all! thank you for learning about fruity drivers with me! please do not cancel me if i am doing something politically incorrect! i am still learning!

[timeoverload]

I had such a crazy day and I'm glad it's over. It started out pretty good and everything was running smoothly and then shit hit the fan over something that shouldn't have been a big deal. I was washing a cataract pan and I noticed that I was missing a kuglen manipulator. I went to tell the eye coordinator about it right away and she got upset that I didn't notice it yesterday. She is always so critical of me and she talks to me like I'm a child when I make a mistake. I can take some criticism but she rarely says anything nice. I thought that maybe it had gotten put in another pan by accident and I told her I would look for it. That didn't stop her from interrogating me about not going through the check sheet every time when I have that pan memorized. I also have less than 10 minutes to turn over my pans before things start to pile up so sometimes I miss things despite being very detail-oriented. I also am responsible for at least 120 surgeries a week by myself and it's hard to handle that after a while. I sort of snapped on her because of how overwhelmed I am. I tried to keep my distance from her the rest of the day and she knew I was pissed. I was still nice when I was forced to talk to her. I'm not the only person she talks to that way and she acts like she's above everyone else because she has been there so long.

I had an hour long meeting with the director this afternoon so I could talk about the situation. He told me he would talk to her about it and he did. She was very nice to me after he talked to her so maybe things will change but I don't know what to think. While I was at the meeting, the girl who was covering for me found the kuglen manipulator in another pan so I feel like all of that drama was for nothing.

I also talked to the director about having to stay late all of the time and he said he would try to get the techs to help out more. The cases were running late today so he said he would find a tech to wash the last 2 pans. That also caused a lot of unnecessary drama. I was in decontam and one of the techs came in yelling at me. I have known her a long time and we started there on the same day. She also worked in my department for a year. She has never talked to me that way and it took me by surprise. She was so mad about having to stay late because "some person" has to leave. I had to tell her that "that person" is me but she kept complaining. I don't know what I did wrong other than want to go home at my scheduled time. She had to stay late anyway so I don't understand why it was such a big deal to her because it doesn't take very long to do. She said that she would talk with me before I had to leave but I couldn't find her so that was frustrating. I decided to just tell the charge nurse I needed to go because I wasn't going to wait around for her. I got changed and clocked out. She was sitting in the lobby for some reason when I was leaving. She apologized for acting the way she did so I guess that made me feel a little better. I think I am just going to stay late if I have to from now on unless someone actually offers to take over for me. I don't want to ruin anyone's day. I don't want anything like that to happen again and it makes me feel guilty if I don't stay.

I'm glad I'm home now. I took a shower and my dad made me dinner so that was nice of him. I haven't been able to do much else because I feel like I got hit by a truck. I think I should get ready for bed soon because I'm so tired. I'm hoping that tomorrow will be less stressful for everyone. I'm going to do my best to stay optimistic. I know things will get better soon.

I hope everyone else has a good day tomorrow!!! :) 💖💖💖

[shuinami]

The Little mermaid soundtrack is not gonna be good because it’s an Alan Menken movie. Mr. Alan created Disney renaissance and the entire soundtrack to be perfection, he had the strict instructions that if you remove a song from a movie you did it wrong. So Disney cannot mess with the music or add something to it which you know they will cause they’ve been doing that because it will mess up the entire flow of the movie.  they cannot remove the songs from the movie because there’s a little heart of the soul of it the little mermaid is one of the closest movies you have to perfection when it comes to music theory and they’re going to mess it up this is it me being a cynic this is me looking at the track record and knowing how Alan Menken who is if not one of the greatest composers to have ever lived though and told Disney how to operate. And besides Melissa McCarthy and Awkwafina cannot sing and personally I don’t know if the sisters that have been casted can’t sing but they need to sing well because they introduce the movie.

I don't think they're going to ask Awkwafina to sing, or expect her to sing well, Scuttle just makes those horrid seagull noises in the original when he tries to sing so, that works out. Can't speak for Melissa McCarthy though, and I'm not familiar with her acting either so... there's that. I guess Poor Unfortunate Souls might be a miss 😬 Although, Will Smith is not really a singer and I liked that version of Arabian Nights (sorry if that's an L take guys 💀). In fact, ignoring some tempo changes, I prefer the instrumentation of a lot of the 2019 renditions of Aladdin to the originals (aside from A Whole New World, and I'm talking about the music, not the actual movie).

I'm not a music theory buff and, admittedly, I'm not that attached to the original renditions of the Little Mermaid, aside from the 'Main Titles' OST, so I think I'll probably be happy with it 😬? I'm not the biggest fan for rules tbh. This is coming from a person who was hoping we'd get a Caribbean twist on the whole soundtrack (steel pans, ska, reggae, ffs maybe even a soca inspired end-credit pop cover idk 🤣) so feel free to take my opinion with a grain of seasalt 💀

I feel like songs like Les Poissons can easily be removed without anything changing (not that they necessarily need to remove it), and all the other songs are so beloved that I don't see them removing them, unless you're including the instrumentals on the OST, but I've already explained my feelings about that.

I don't love the the original of the sisters' introduction song, in general; the classic, big orchestra sound just doesn't vibe with me usually so, I'm interested in seeing a different take on it if they go that route. Even if the other girls can sing well, I doubt any are as good as Halle Bailey, so I feel like narratively, that kind of works, because we'll be like... damn, the show really was going to be something special had Ariel showed up with her chops.

And I love Halle Bailey's singing, based on the snippet in the trailer, I'm excited for an updated soundtrack, unless it's just auto-tuned covers that are practically the same...

But, you are entitled to your opinion too, that's just my thoughts on it!

[mandareeboo]

Sasha, Anne, and Marcy for the character ask.

Pick a character I’ve written and I will explain the top ~three to five ideas/concepts/etc I keep in mind while writing that character that I believe are essential to accurately depicting them.

Sasha's intentions started out as protection, morphed into control, and have wrapped back around to protection. She's likely to mix the two together sometimes, whether she realizes it or not.

Confident! Sasha Waybright takes no prisoners and minds no fools. She's easily the most outspoken of the trio in uncomfortable situations and is extremely reactive. Sasha says what she means and does what she says.

Though she's not as obvious about it, Sasha is a very touchy person! She spends most of this season hanging off Anne, and we've seen her being close with Grime as well. Even if she'd never say it, she's probably a snuggler, and has a habit of casually wrapping an arm around the nearest friend.

So tired. Give this child a goddamn nap.

(I say this so damn often I'm gonna copy-paste it rip) I start all my writing advice for Anne with this, but it always bears mentioning. Loyal! To! A! Fault! Anne will do anything for the people she cares about and will go back to them time and time again even if they hurt her. It can make writing certain motivations for her complicated, but it can also make you put interesting spins on them, too.

Anne suppresses, and she suppresses HARD. She doesn't talk about her "bad" feelings, or her traumas, unless absolutely necessary. The one (1) time she mentioned her mom, and started crying, she apologized. As if it was wrong of her to miss the people she loved!

Everyone backstabs this child. Granted, sometimes she trusts shady characters- s1 Tritonio and Frog Stan, for example- but the only people who haven't at this point are Sprig and Polly. Though she's rarely sus of ppl, she's not surprised by it anymore. She's just hurt.

Marcy uses escapism to deal with her problems. YES, she's just gotten over that, but it takes time to work through that type of thing completely. She dives into movies and- in this case- amphibian worlds to avoid her problems. She doesn't know how to confront them.

I think it's important to note (for Marcy AND Anne) that she likely received little to no bullying in her life. We saw how Sasha dealt with Maggie. She was the queen of school and she kept her girls out of harm's way. It helped her be comfortable, but it also hindered her social growth to not have to face average kid problems that WEREN'T negative- Marcy doesn't recognize a lot of basic social rules that autistic kids her age have learned, and it can cause confusion. She knows how Anne and Sasha tick, but no one else. I mean, her first response to meeting a giant king was A.) give him a nickname and B.) use him like a jungle gym.

As a slight add-on to the above, it's also important that Marcy grew up alongside kids who understood her. When you're kids, you don't think too deep about that shit. If your friend doesn't like eye contact, you don't second-guess it- they don't like it, so it's fine. Anne and Sasha grew up knowing these things- they guided her when she was infodumping, protected her from dangers while hyperfixating. This was good, but it also prevented Marcy from learning to do those things for herself until very recently. She gets caught up in her own head and doesn't consider others because, hey, Sasha and Anne probably have it covered.

Basically she was somewhat coddled and then got unleashed into the world unexpectedly and while it's doing a lot of good for her independence and life it's also one HELLUVA out of the frying pan into the fire situation, and she's bound to make mistakes- just like everyone else!

[cherrywoes]

— 𝖙𝖍𝖗𝖊𝖊.

— 𝓭𝓾𝓵𝓬𝓮 𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓬𝓾𝓵𝓾𝓶.

"SO, WHAT DO YOU think?" Your friend's voice was drowned out by the music blasting from the speakers. Neon lights pulsed to the bass of Chase Atlantic's "Swim", a song that had been put into your playlist only recently. "Cool, right?"

You reached up and adjusted the neck of your shirt. "Yeah, a bit cold though—are all strip clubs like this?"

When you had accepted the job to make some extra cash to squeeze you through the last semester of college, it had been a no brainer. The Valeria was one of the most prominent clubs in Eden, frequented by both angels and demons alike, contrary to what your adopted parents had told you when you were nineteen. You lucked out with your best friend being the owner of the establishment.

"Yeah, the cold keeps people from getting sleepy and wanting to go home which, in turn, encourages them to spend more money." Kiyoko shrugged and you laughed at her nonchalant tone. "Anyway, the girls are rehearsing before the night starts. There's a fight club down the street and a lot of the fighters like to pop in when their adrenaline's high."

"I bet it doesn't hurt that some of them won cash," you joked lightly. "Devils or angels?"

"Both. Just keep an eye out for our regulars. Lev will point them out to you." Kiyoko pointed to the desk manager who, even from your distance, seemed to be a lanky giant. He waved when you looked over. "He's harmless. A bit tone deaf, but harmless. If you ever need help just go to him."

"Gotcha." You waved back tentatively and looked to the stage where girls were practicing and laughing. "So, do I go over there or…?"

Kiyoko shook her head and pointed to the bar. "No, I'm starting you off at the bar. You were a pretty good bartender from what I remember so you can do what you're familiar with."

Your relief was palpable. "Thanks, Kiyoko. I don't think dancing is what I'm good at anyway."

"You're welcome. Let me know if you want to back out, okay?" She crossed her arms. "A lot of the customers can be a bit… much."

"It's okay, I've dealt with rude customers before," you reassured her. "I'll just be making drinks right?"

"Yeah, but the uniform is pretty revealing. Just be careful."

Kiyoko wasn't lying. When she finally left you to get ready, you discovered the level of skimpiness with your own eyes.

It was, in a sense, just a plain black bikini with a crystal body harness for taste. That might not have been so bad if it hadn't been made deliberately a size too small and threatened to show your assets if you even breathed wrong. While the body harness was flattering to your curves, you couldn't help but be nervous by the amount of skin you were showing.

Paired with black strappy heels, you looked like you had stepped right out of a Maxim magazine. That was probably what Kiyoko had intended.

With a sigh, you exited the bathroom and headed towards the bar. Lev flagged you down before you could get there, though, and curious, you approached him, an unintentional sway in your step from the heels.

"Hey, [Name]! I'm Lev, nice to meet you." He offered his hand and you shook it, afraid to be seen as rude if you didn't. "Kiyoko forgot to give you your ID so I dug one out from the storage room. Don't lose it."

He handed you a lanyard with a plastic card on it. It was a generic identification card with nothing special about it, except your name taped to the top part on a sticker.

"Thanks." Lev smiled at you and you couldn't help but notice the peculiar color of his eyes and hair. "If it's okay to ask, Lev, are you…?"

"Human? Nope." He snickered at the look on your face. "Don't look so scared, it's fine. I'm a devil. Kiyoko recruited me when fighting didn't pan out for me."

"So that's common among your… kind?" This was all so new to you. You reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. Lev tracked the movement idly, as if he couldn't help it. "Fighting, I mean."

"Yeah. Devils are notorious for their high tempers," he explained. "Fighting usually helps that. Or sex, but that's a personal preference. You might get propositioned a few times but that's normal."

"I see." You rubbed your elbows and rocked back on your heels. "Is there anything I should be worried about?"

"Not really. Just stay away from the Aoba Johsai devils if you can. They're pretty obvious and travel in a tight knit group. The only trustworthy person in it is Iwaizumi Hajime, I'd say, so you can serve him." Lev shrugged. "Though he's not coming in on your shift. There's a lot of fights going on tonight."

"Okay. Thanks, Lev."

"No problem."

Your first night as bartender went without a hitch, unless you counted the few guys who hit on you every chance they got. It wasn't rowdy, which you assumed was from the fights going on, and you managed to clock out with a decent paycheck and a tiredness that was seeping into your bones.

As you walked out the front doors, waving goodbye to Lev—he seemed nice enough, regardless, and you needed new friends in Eden now that you were taking online classes—you stepped out into what you could only guess was the line to the fight club.

It ran almost two blocks, people wearing unusual chic clothes to watch someone's face get beaten in. The line consisted primarily of girls, you noticed, and adjusted the straps of your gym bag on your shoulder.

You prepared to turn on your heel and head to your apartment in North Eden, where the humans lived, when something told you to turn around and check out the fight club. It wasn't as if you had anything to do at the moment, and your classes had been delayed for next week due to the school's security issues. You would be bored out of your mind at home, you knew, but you side eyed the line and the multiple people lining it.

Maybe not…

"You must be [Name]."

You jumped in fright when the doors opened behind you. Reflexively, you made a first, but when you saw the familiar face of the girl who had been on stage, you sighed in relief. "Sorry. I'm just jumpy."

"That's fine." She smiled to reveal perfect white teeth. Her hair made you sick with envy; long, auburn curls that dangled down to her hips in thick ringlets. "I'm Lulu. I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself inside."

"No, no it's okay. You were practicing." You smiled in return. Then, you pointed to the line of people. "Are they always this long?"

"To Yulara?" Lulu inquired. "Yeah. The lines depend on the fighters. They have an elite lineup tonight. Why? Did you want to go?"

She took the sheepish expression that crawled over your face as an affirmative.

"Alright. Come on." Lulu linked her arm through yours and, with little difficulty, began skipping through the line. People parted like the dead sea for her and you were just dragged along for the ride. "I'll get you in. Consider it a welcome gift!"

"Are you sure we should be skipping these people?"

"Of course. We work at Valeria; we have VIP passes," Lulu replied cheerfully. At the front of the line was a bouncer dutifully checking people in and stamping their wrists with ultraviolet ink. "Hey, Aone! This is [Name]. She's new and wanted to see the fights."

You expected him to be suspicious of you. He was quite intimidating, eyes narrowed and his height did nothing but terrify you. Instead, with a quick movement, he marked your wrist and sent you inside.

Lulu grinned. "Thanks, Aone. I'll see you when I get home."

Bewildered, you glanced between her and the now blushing male, then back to Lulu. She shrugged and put a finger over her lips. You mimed zipping yours in response.

Lulu escorted you down a flight of stairs that led into a wide open room filled with people. In the center was a circle of wire and fence, keeping what looked like a pit closed off. You could only guess that's where there were people fighting.

"This is where I leave you." She patted your back. "Have fun! Don't drink the wine though, people always roofie it before the fights start."

"Oh. Okay." You smiled. "Thanks again."

"No problem." With a wave she retreated back up the stairs.

You took a deep breath and looked back towards the ring, your curiosity taking over. Clutching your gym bag, you began to pave your way through the crowd, unaware of the familiar face flashing across an LED screen over the door.

MASTERLIST.

< PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER >

taglist:

@dancing-in-the-rain54 • n/a

( let me know if you want to be added to the

taglist. drop a comment or message me. 💕 )

[kayleebreanne09]

I feel so sad!

John b x reader. With a little bit of ex Rafe x reader.

So I was listening to the song You should be sad by Halsey. I’m lowkey obsessed with it & I immediately thought about this blurb idea. So the reader was with Rafe, they had a really toxic relationship & she ran away. John b saves her & puts her back together. Obviously Halsey wrote this amazing song but just for the sake of the fic, the (Y/n) character writes it. Alright I hope y’all like this because it was really fun to write. Love yall💜

It’d been 3 months since you’d ran away from everything kook related. 3 months that a certain messy haired brunette pogue had spent trying to piece your heart back together. 3 months since you ended the most toxic relationship you’ve ever had in your life. You sat on the log, curled up against John B in front of the nightly fire y’all had at the chateau. On your other side was Kie, smiling happily at you, & across the fire, JJ & Pope goofed off. These were your people now. They’d put you back together when it seemed impossible that all the pieces would ever fit right again. JJ made some stupid joke & everyone just groaned but I couldn’t help but laugh. He jumped up & ran over to me to high five me! He threw his hand up in the air a little too close to me & my body automatically flinched. My heart started to race & my vision started to go fuzzy. I ran inside, desperately trying to get air into my lungs. I raced into the bathroom, jumping in the shower & turning the water on. I sank to the floor of the shower, all my clothes still on. I sat there with my knees up to my chest & my arms curled around them, trying to keep myself from breaking. I heard footsteps & a deep sigh that I knew belonged to my boyfriend. I felt John B step into the shower behind me, sitting down with his legs on either side of me & leaning up so his head was resting on my back. “Baby, breathe. You are safe. You aren’t with Rafe anymore, no one will ever touch you again. I will always protect you” he whispered slowly drawing words on my back. He sat there drawing random shapes as the water soaked ya both. “Let’s play a game...guess what I’m writing” he then drew what felt like 12 letters. “J” I guessed for the first letter. “Yes!” He replied...we went on like that until I figured it out. “JJ is a dumbass? Really John B?” I let out a small laugh. “Okay next one” John B said as he started drawing his fingertip along the sopping wet back of my shirt. “I love you” I guessed once he’d finished the last letter. He pulled me back against him & I felt some of the tension leave my body. “Yes. & I’ll never stop loving you. I will always be the best I can for you, I’ll never let you go through what you went through before” he stated, pressing a kiss to my cheek. “I love you John B. So much” I said turning & giving him a long kiss, hoping that he could feel just how much I needed him.

The next day, I was sitting on the kitchen counter watching John B make pancakes. My gaze kept drifting out the window to the calm water. Last night had stirred up some memories that were hard to deal with. Poor John B had been up half the night trying to soothe me back to sleep from my stupid nightmares. “Hey babe” John b said pulling my attention back to him. “Yeah baby, what’s up?” I asked smiling at him. “If you’re getting overwhelmed with stuff from the past, maybe you should write about it” he offered, looking back to the pan to flip the pancake. John b knew that I loved writing. It helped me get everything out. I wouldn’t call myself a song writer but I did love taking things that I’d been through & putting them into lyrics that maybe other people could relate to. If I could just help one person get through something, it’d be making a difference & that was all that I wanted. I jumped down & went to hug him from the back. I rested my head against his warm skin & just enjoyed the feeling of having John B in my arms. “That’s a good idea!” I said pressing a quick kiss to his back. “Good! Because I already texted Kie & she’s bringing her ukulele over to help” he said spinning around & swatting me on the butt with the spatula. I stood on my tip toes & pressed my lips to his as he pulled me into him. “You really are the best” I breathed out.

Kie & I sat in the hammock together, legs intertwined. She had her ukulele in her lap & I had my lyric book in mine. She reached over & pulled my pencil from behind my ear, & slid it into my hand. “Get to writing sister, I need to hear what these lyrics sound like before I can come up with a melody. Also, I’m sorry about JJ last night. He didn’t know your history with Rafe & pope chewed his ass pretty good about it.” She said as she laughed loudly. “It’s fine Kie. I just, I know what I want to say...I guess it’s just putting it into actual words is hard. Like I’m not conflicted, I’m 100% over Rafe, I just feel like none of his friends will tell him the truth. They won’t tell him that he’s turned into this monster & I feel like maybe if someone would just be honest with him, maybe he could change & find happiness in his life like I have with John B” I smiled toward the dock where John B was cleaning out the HMS Pogue. “Start there then!” Kie replied. & I did. My mind drifted back...

“Rafe, you’ve got to stop with the drugs. I can help you! You aren’t you anymo-“ I was cut off my his hand grabbing my throat & shoving me back against the wall. “Don’t tell me what I’ve got to do bitch” he snarled. His eyes were dark & pupils so dilated that I didnt even see the man that I’d grown to care about anymore. “I NEED the money, the drugs, the nice cars...I don’t need you. So you better watch the way you’re talking to me” he said, finally releasing my throat. I sank to the floor rubbing my neck where I knew bruises would form later. I took a deep breath & stood up. “I won’t do this anymore. You’ve broken me enough. You are toxic & I’m done. I’m gone & don’t you dare try to find me” I took one final look at the monster he’d become & walked away.

Kie watched as I stared off, my eyes tearing up. I felt her grab my hand & squeeze, just letting me know she was there. “I know what to write!” I said quickly scribbling down everything I wanted to say.

“I wanna start this out and say

I gotta get it off my chest

Got no anger, got no malice

Just a little bit of regret

Know nobody else will tell you

So there's some things I gotta say

Gonna jot it down and then get it out

And then I'll be on my way

No, you're not half the man you think that you are

And you can't fill the hole inside of you with money, drugs and cars

I'm so glad I never ever had a baby with you

'Cause you can't love nothin' unless there's somethin' in it for you

Oh, I feel so sorry

I feel so sad

I tried to help you

It just made you mad

And I had no warnin'

About who you are

I'm just glad I made it out without breakin' down

And then ran so fuckin' far

That you would never ever touch me again

Won't see your alligator tears

'Cause, no, I've had enough…”

Kie leaned over eyes scanning over what I’d written. “(Y/N) this is good. No, it’s amazing. I mean, I don’t even know what to say” she said hugging me tightly. “Thanks for always being there Kie” I said, leaning my head on her shoulder as the hug ended. “Now let’s get to work on this melody!”

A month passed & id been hired to play at midsummers. JJ had heard the song Kie & I came up with at the chateau & while working one day, he heard about talent tryouts to play at midsummers. He relayed the message & Kie & I went & tried out. Apparently they liked us because we were one of the acts that were hired to play. Everything went so fast & suddenly, it was a couple hours before midsummers was supposed to start. I stood in John B’s room, sliding on the dress that I’d gotten. It was a deep vneck off white dress with silver beading. John B walked in & wrapped his arms around me, looking at our reflection in the mirror. “You are so beautiful baby. You are going to be amazing tonight” I smiled at his reflection. “Are you sure you & JJ can pull off sneaking in as waiters?” I questioned. “Of course sweetheart, we are total badassea at going incognito” he said smirking. I turned around, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Good. I don’t think I could get through tonight without you” I whispered. He leaned down & brought his lips to mine. “You’ll never have to go through anything without me” he said squeezing my hips, pulling me closer to him & refusing to let me go until it was time to leave.

The lights facing the stage were blinding. I felt way too many eyes on me & way too many kooks judging me. Kie nudged my arm, smiling over at me & started to play. I put every ounce of emotion that I had into that performance. All the sadness from an ended relationship, & all the hope that I had that one day Rafe would find happiness. He & I were never meant to be, I understood that now. I just wanted him to get the help he needed. A single tear slipped down my face as I sang the last line. I wiped it away, grabbing Kies hand & bowing as the crowd cheered. I scanned the crowd to see Pope, JJ, & John B cheering in the back! “That’s my girl!” John b hollered. Security saw him & started making their way over. “Shit. Come on guys! Mandatory pogue meeting at the chateau!” JJ yelled. Kie ran to JJ as he spun her around & she then threw her arms around JJ & Pope. “Cmon baby!” John b yelled. I yanked up the bottom of my dress, kicked off my heels, grabbing them off the ground & took off running....Launching myself into his waiting arms. He kissed me long & hard. “Time to go!” He said pulling my hand & dancing away right as the pissed off security guard dove at us. I threw my head back laughing as John B bent down & I jumped on his back. He carried me all the way to the waiting HMS Pogue & we all rode off into the night.

Rafe stood in silence staring after the girl he had lost. He knew he’d done everything wrong in the relationship. Maybe she was right. Maybe the drugs couldn’t fill the hole he had inside. He decided then & there that he would get clean. He would fix things with his dad. He finally had closure, & maybe one day, he would find the love that he knew she had found.

[leelee10898]

Half on a baby: Leo & Alicia- part 1

This is from the Cordonians gone wild AU, a collaborative effort by @ao719 @speedyoperarascalparty @cocomaxley @riseandshinelittleblossom and myself. Read our other crazy adventures HERE

Leo walked into his and Alicia's quarters after a long conference call. He had been contacted about joining a European motocross tour that started in a couple of weeks. Leo had been itching to get back out there, Alicia knew it and encouraged him to take the call and they would figure out a plan. “Hey babe.” he leaned down kissing her cheek and down on the couch next to her. “So, how was it?” she turned to face her husband. “Not bad. Tour is a short one 3 weeks, 9 races and and a championship.” Alicia sensed the hesitation in his voice. “Ok, what's wrong?” He sat up running his hand over his face. “I don't think I can be away from you that long.” she got up sitting sideways on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Leo, this is what you love, you cant let being away from me hold you back from your dreams.” “I enjoy it yes, but you are what I love.” he paused a moment. “come with me.”

“you want me to come with you? Is that allowed?” “You're my wife, of course its allowed. Besides, you'll give me more motivation to win.” he grinned. “ok, I'll go.” Leo's lips captured hers immediately before she pulled away jumping up. “Leo come on, we need to get ready. We have dinner with Stef and Max tonight.” “that's tonight love?” he gripped her hips pulling her closer. “Stef needs my help with dinner. The words can't feed the huntin dogs came out.” leo gave her a puzzled look and sighed “ok, let's get ready.. but later on.” he stood pulling her fleshed against him. “I know.”

They arrived at Maxwell and Stephanie's, Maxwell opened the door holding Evie “Hey guys come in. Alicia, Stefs in the kitchen, um shes been cursing alot.” Alicia nodded and headed towards the kitchen. “Hey cutie.” Leo cooed. “Awe thanks Leo, I'm glad to see you too.” Maxwell grinned, prompting an eye roll from Leo. “So since the girls are cooking, we gotta entertain Evie.” “ok sounds good to me.” Leo shrugged as they walked into the living room.

Alicia and stephanie made way into the kitchen. “Did you put the skillet in the oven for 10 minutes?” Stephanie nodded grabbing her oven mitts plucking the cast iron skillet from the hot oven. Alicia drizzled a generous amount of olive oil into the hit pan and gave it a swirl, coating the pan. “ok stef, season the meat with the salt, pepper and garlic.” she instructed. They placed the pork loin in the skillet and placed it in the oven. “Thanks again for coming over and helping, I love pork tenderloin but I can't cook for nothing.” Stephanie grinned pouring two glasses of wine. “No problem, it's not that hard. Trick is not to over cook it. Were going to flip it about 10 to 15 minutes in. Once the Internal temperature reaches 165, we should be set.”

Alicia took a swig from her wine. The two settled into an easy conversation, Alicia's eyes kept darting out to the living room, watching Leo coo and fawn all over evie made her heart soar. "So Stef, when did you know you were ready to start trying for evie?" stephanie snorted. "Trying? We didn't exactly try...don't get me wrong, by any means. She is my whole world, but definitely an oopsie baby." "But you wanted kids right? Did you and Maxwell ever talk about it?" Alicia took a sip of her wine. "We did. We knew we wanted to have a couple someday. And we got really lucky with Ev. She's the best little baby. If she not asleep she's happy. Unless she's hungry, which is an easy enough fix."

The timer went off, Alicia instructed Stephanie flip the meat, while the two continue their conversation. "How was being pregnant? Was it really weird?"

"absolutely. But it was also beautiful. The idea that I was carrying around this little piece of the love that Max and I share and one day she was gonna be walkin and talkin..it was really special. What is with all the questions, Alicia? You got a pork loin in *your* oven?!" Alicia choked on the sip of wine she just drank "What?! No. No loins in this oven.. I still have my IUD in." "For now.” Stephanie smirked. “I kinda figured you two'd be the next set of squad parents. What with all the goo-goo eyes Leo has for Evie. I swear the man thinks she hung the moon and he isn't even her daddy." She chuckled.

"He's making my ovaries explode right now. I have an appointment next week and I'm debating having my IUD removed." Alicia gazed at her husband holding evie. "Have you talked to him about that?" "Ahh, well... not really. We haven't actually talked about having kids. Well, not unless you count the time Anitah and I played a joke on Leo and Liam, and said we were pregnant with triplets... he fainted."

"He's ready girl. Look at him! And he can change a diaper better than Maxwell. Remind me to have Leo give him a few pointers." "Yeah, maybe you're right. I guess we should have the talk soon huh?"

Leo sat on the on the couch filling Maxwell in on his upcoming motocross tour. "Hey man, my arms getting tired. You maybe wanna hold her?" Maxwell arched his brow at Leo. "Yup, hand her over." Leo eagerly held his hands out. "She's like the worlds cutest bobble head right now, so make sure you support her here." Maxwell placed her in Leo's arms. "Maxwell I got this.” he faces Evie and coos “Don't I? Yes I do. Uncle Leo is going to spoil you rotten, huh my little goose." "How silly of me, Maverick. I should've known you would know how to handle a lady." Leo smirked "no matter how small, uncle Leo just has a way with the ladies.” he looked up “By the way Beaumont she's not allowed to date, like ever." "I support that decision, man I really do. Unless..." he Grins mischievously "a certain fair-haired former Playboy Prince decided to have a son. I think I'd be okay with the two of them together."

"Who me?" Leo shakes his head smirking "Could you imagine me as a dad? let me ask you Max, what's it like?” Maxwell's face lit up. "It's the most amazing feeling in the world! She's so cute and I get to feed her and snuggle her and wipe her little tushie. I haven't found one thing about it that I don't enjoy...except maybe Stef being crabby in the mornings. Ya know cuz she doesn't sleep through the night yet, but we're learning. Aren't we, Tulip? I could totally see you as a father. In fact I think you and Alicia should start trying right now! I mean if you hurry up, this second by the time your son is born Evie will only be one year older than him. They could totally make that relationship work."

Leo laughs "Your a mess Beaumont. You know, between you and me, I have been wanting to knock Alicia up. We haven't exactly had the kids conversation and I'm not sure how she would feel about it." "Haven't you noticed those girls watching us instead of the food? She's practically drooling over the thought of watching you rock her son to sleep. Trust me. All of the girls are ready for a baby. I hear them all goo-gooing and ga-gaing over Evie. They've all had baby fever since Stef got pregnant, whether they want to admit it or not." "You do seem to have the inside track on them. Thanks man, I think Alicia and I need to have a talk tonight."

“Alright guys time for dinner.” Alicia called out. Leo handed Evie back to max as he laid her in her swing. They sat down making their plates. Maxwell danced in his seat “mmmm this is really good Alicia. Stef you paid attention right? So you can make this again.” “Thanks Max but I can't take credit for this one, it was all Stef. I just guided her.” Alicia grinned. “ Hm...I'm really impressed, Rosebud." Stephanie rolls her eyes at her husband. "no I'm serious, baby. I can actually chew this meat." He let out a hardy laugh " joking aside, it's delicious, Red. Really." “Yes I agree, this is good Stephanie.” Leo Complimented. “ Aw come on you guys are making me blush.” Stephanie's cheeks flushed red.

They finished up dinner when Evie started to fuss. “oh it's time for her bottle and bed.” Stephanie looked st the clock. Maxwell jumped up “I got it Rose bud, Leo wanna help?” Leo nodded and the two scooped Evie up and headed towards the nursery. “Maxwell laid her down on the changing table “ Hey can you change her diaper while I grab her jammies?” leo agreed while max hunted down her pjs and grabbed her bottle. Once she was dressed he sat in the rocking chair, humming a soft lullaby as he fed her the bottle. Her tiny finger grasped his large one. Leo watched his friend put his child to sleep, he couldn't help but smile, he wanted that, he just hoped Alicia did too.

Maxwell lifted evie to his shoulder giving her a few Pat's on the back, she let out a healthy burp. He dabbed her little lips of the excess milk that dribbled out and walked her over to the crib. He gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. “good night my sweet little tulip, daddy loves you. I'll see you in a few hours.” He flicked the light off as the two backed out of the room slowly. “so um Stef and I have been talking wanted to ask you. Would you be Evies Godfather?” he rubbed the back of his neck. “Leo's eyes went wide. “really? You want me to be her Godfather?” “yeah, your one of my best friends and you love evie or goose, like shes your own.. so what do you say?” “Maxwell, I would be honored to.” the two shared a quick hug and headed out to the living room.

“He said yes.” Maxwell squealed. Stephanie grinned “You knew he would Maxwell.” “seriously guys, thank you. I love that little girl.” Leo hugged stephanie and looked towards Alicia. “we should really be heading out, thanks for dinner guys. It was good.” Alicia hugged Stephanie and Maxwell and they headed out. Once they arrived back at the palace they made their way to their quarters.

Alicia changed into a pair of pajama shorts and a tank top, Leo changed into his sweat pants and tossed his shirt in the hamper and climbed Into bed, sitting back against the headboard. Alicia walked out of the bathroom rubbing lotion on her hands and arms. “I want to put a baby in you.” Leo blurted out, stopping Alicia dead in her tracks. “Well damn, I guess this is a good time to tell you I was thinking of having my IUD removed next week at my appointment.” she chuckled. She sat down in the bed, Leo grabbed her hands. “You want to start trying for a baby love?” “Yeah, I've been thinking about it alot lately, and seeing you with evie tonight..” she was cut off by his lips capturing hers. “I can't wait. You know the best part about getting pregnant?” he grinned “No, what?

“The practice.” he swiftly yanked her down to the bed, climbing on top of her. “I say we get some practice in right now.”

Two weeks later Leo and the guys were enjoying the day golfing. Drake sat in the golf cart, sipping from his flask. “How come you never play with us Drake?” Maxwell frowned. “swatting balls with sticks, eh. I'd rather just enjoy the fresh air.” Drake waves him off. Liam placed his ball, he picked his club and stepped up to the ball, getting read to swing. “I'm gonna knock Alicia up.” Leo announced. Liam mid swing let go of the club, it flew through the air smashing through someone's cart. Liam tried to compose himself as he turned to face his brother.

“You...you’re what?! Does Alicia know this?”

“of course she does. Do you really think I would get her pregnant without discussing it with her first?” Leo rolled his eyes. “Oh...um....that’s great, Leo!” liam rubbed the back of his neck. "You want to have a baby? The playboy prince, wants a baby. Do you know what a baby is, Leo?"

"yes Rashad I know what a baby is. I change a mean diaper, just ask Maxwell."

“Yes!! I knew it. I'm so excited.” Maxwell squealed as he broke out in a happy dance. "Well I'll be damned. That woman has got you whipped." Rashad "I'm not whipped, you're whipped." Leo defended, a smirk forming on his face. "Yeah we're all whipped. We should probably stop denying that now." Rashad sighed, the rest shaking their head in agreeance. “I hate to tell you guys, but you're next.. All of you.” Leo chuckled. Rashad snorted "we aren't even married yet, man. Slow your roll." Drake grinned walking up shaking Leo's hand “Congrats man.”

The girls sat at lunch enjoying a few mimosas before their food arrived. A lady walked in walking past the ladies, holding an adorable little boy. “aweee.” they said in unison. “Guess I better Enjoy these while I can.” Alicia took a big sip of her mimosa. Genevieve gave her a sideways look. “What the hell does that mean?” Anitah snapped her head in Alicia's Direction. "I umm had my IUD removed last week." She coolly sipped her mimosa. “Forrrr?!” Anitah squealed sure she knew where this was going. Genevieve's eyes flew wide open. "Oh my god! You guys are going to start trying?"

"Yes, we are."

“You are?!” Anitah squealed a little to loud (Shit, shit, shit) she silently said to herself, knowing her husband was now going to start pressing her. "I knew it! I knew you were itchin to put a bun in that oven!" Stephanie grinned, thinking back to their dinner. "That's great, Alicia! Did you, um, tell Leo that you're going to try?" Gen took a bite of a breadstick. "More like he bluntly told me he wanted to put a baby in me." "This was HIS idea? Hell has frozen over. What...How...Why?” Genevieve choked on the breadstick. "It had been on my mind, but yeah he pretty much decided for us."

"I'm just shocked. I thought Leo would be the last of the guys to want kids. I mean Liam and Drake are the two softest ones. I expected them to be first. Don't get me wrong, I think that's amazing. I'm really happy for you guys. I'm just not drinking the water anytime soon." She laughed. “I'm so happy for you guys.” pam reached out giving her hand a gentle squeeze before turning away slightly blushing.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure that I won't be alone on the Preggo train long. Besides, it can take up to a year possibly to conceive after removing the IUD. So I have some time." "yeah doctors can say that all they want, but I'm telling you girl life finds a way. I was on the pill and yet now we have Evie" stef shrugged. "Not it" Genevieve shouted out. “Jesus Stef, don't let Leo hear you say that, I'll never get him off me.” the girls all looked at her knowingly “ok, more than he already is.” Anitah awkwardly giggled and chugged the rest of her mimosa. “Choo Choo, you’re on your own for now.” she mumbled, red in the face.

Alicia walked in their quarters after lunch with the girls, to find Leo standing Naked in the bedroom. Her hand flew over her mouth. “I thought we could get a little baby making in before my next meeting.” he grinned. Alicia shook her head and giggled “You are really enjoying this aren't you?” “Oh more than you know love. Now, come here.”

Tag list: @scarlettedragon @speedyoperarascalparty @greyeyedsmile14 @mind-reader1  @hopefulmoonobject @alicars @katurrade @indiacater @bella-ca @blznbaby @blackwidow2721 @liamxs-world @simsvetements @furiousherringoperatortoad @choicesfannatalie @crookedslimecreatorpasta @coldcollectornight08 @museofbooks @syltti78 @ao719 @blubutterflyy @itsstillnotwhatyouthink @liam-rhys-x-mc-x-constantine @riseandshinelittleblossom @laniquelovesworld @gibbles82 @editboutique @gardeningourmet

@annekebbphotography @carabeth @moneyfordiamonds @give-me-ernest-sinclaire @3pawandme @ooo-barff-ooo @tornbetween2loves @ownworldresident @perfectprofessorherokid @stopforamoment @wannabemc2 @zaffrenotes @enmchoices @lodberg @heatherfilliez @smalltalk88

[satura-lanx]

Why I belive wolfstar never confessed

It seems that Lupin had always felt too wrong and dirty to deserve experiencing love. He hadn’t belived he could ever find any friends either untill James, Sirius and Peter made him understand that they had no intention whatsoever to give up on him, even knowing he was a werewolf. If it wasn’t for them clearly displaying their deep care for him, he wouldn’t have assumed that, he expected them to leve him and thought that was legitimate. He is not conscious of his own worth nor would he ever take the initiative in trying to bond with someone too deeply for fear of rejection and for a sense of duty, because he feared he would end up infecting the other with his condiction. He would have never admitted to Sirius the way he felt for him and he would have tried, if possible, not only to hide those feelings from all the others but from himself aswell.

Now let’s keep in mind that the marauders went to Hogwarts in the '70s, a perid in which most people weren't exactly cool about LGBTQ+ and would actually discriminate them, avoid them, be disgusted by them and basically treat them like werewolves are treated in the magic community. I know that the marauders showed to be comprensive about Moony's "furry little problem" but would you actually risk to lose them by having the audacity of coming out to them?

Being Remus, I guess he wouldn't unless if an other one of them did it first.

Being Sirius, I belive he wouldn't have too: after all, could you immagine how his relationship with James would change? They basically did everything together and lived together and maybe Padfoot feared that after discovering he was gay (or even bi/pan) his family might desert him once more. Sure, the Potters were amazing and openminded, but why risking it when there was no point in making them know anyway, since Remus showed no sign of being interested in him romantically or even of likingin men... Faking to be 100% straight would have been better: he could always say that he didn't belive to be the tipe to get involved in a relationship (no one would have had anything to object to that,he was sure), if anyone got suspicious of him ignoring all the girls that were clearly head over hills for him.

So none of them did anything to let the other know and they decided that, as long as they had the other's friendship and trust, they could bare the burden of their unexpressed love.

After they finally reunited at the Shriking Shank, they still couldn't confess anything to each other. They felt like they were closer then ever, whenever Remus whent to Grimmauld Place to keep Sirius company, which he neded so badly: they basically only had eachother left by then and those times were essential to keep their sanity intact inspite of their tough lifes (which were slowly making them forget of what they really used to be and that was especially true on Sirius'side). The problem was that, except for those occasions, Remus was busy with missions for the Order and Sirius was stuck in that oppressive house: they were oce more incredibly distant and felt like they where living in different universes. It was war and, untill it was finally going to end, hoping they would be able to go back to being themselves once more, they knew that was not the right time to dare to ask for more that what they already had, risking to ruin one of the few things that made them wish to live onother day.

Of course I'm happy that Remus found Ninphadora, someone who was brave enough to shove her feelings for him onto his face and forced him to acknowledge them and to stop running away.

The fact that none of them was able to get to live a single day after the end of the war brakes my soul.

[survivor-guyana]

Episode 4: "I'm pan with a plan, and I'm here to make messy ass moves." - Maynor

So... Dog food is salty as fuck. No wonder my dog downs the whole bowl of water after he's done eating... What the hell dog food makers

SO THIS WHOLE dare challenge this has got me GOING right now. The whole impersonations and "Who will Win?" videos are going to be BIG indicators of who is close to from my tribe. BUT DEVON.... TOOK IT TO A WHOLE NOTHER' LEVEL. A NORMAL person would do a silly one y'know? Does this guy NOT do Sarah (someone I know he's close with) and state all these things he obviously knows about her. She goes to Michigan state, has a finsta, likes to make friends in games... etc. THEN THE PICK TO WIN VIDEO.... AGAIN A NORMAL PERSON WOULD DO SOMETHING SILLY. For example: I did JD and went on about how she is CANADIAN. DEVON GOES AND DOES: Jose and how he could be tricking us... and it's actually his strategy. I can not with this being anymore. BUT tbh I'm just GLAD he's making himself a bigger target than me in case we lose. ALSO: Chelsea showing that she knows stuff about Alyssa... ummmm NO. I'm scurrrred. As say they say in French I am "le fucked" here. TBH i'm NOT lying when I say I wasn't close to my old tribe. I literally was only close to Aidan but aside from that no one else. There was an alliance of Sarah/Aidan/Devon inside of the alliance of Dani/Maynor/Sarah/Aidan/Devon/ myself. It is driving me BONKERS that Devon (the one person I NEED on my tribe right now) is unintentionally and potentially fucking his game with his videos. This was avoidable imo. Johnny didn't say "you MUST put a target on your back"... THIS IS THE GUY I NEED TO STAY WITH ME. ALSO if I ever find out Alyssa is playing me I might cry. She's literally my bitch. She's awesome. I NEVER GET ALONG WITH GIRLS IN GAMES. EVER. I just know Sammy/Chelsea are close. I could see Alyssa being close to them too so I'm just trying to make myself as relevant as possible with Alyssa because if I don't she won't feel bad sending me out. If she has doubts about it I CAN WORK WITH THAT. Sammy is totally the glue between the faves on my tribe IMO. I just know I need to somehow get closer to Sammy. I just don't know HOW! Chelsea seems super quiet and it's hard to really get a read on her. I just hope we never have to lose because I will actually cry if José pops up with an idol and my ass gets sent packing.

So me and Jones have gotten closer and closer!!! So has me Jones and Nick as an alliance. The challenge went pretty ok but we eventually lost in the end. There's a joint tribal happening right now so we're all a little shook. The Green team is thinking of a way to stay safe through it all. The other tribe seems like it has some pretty nice peeps on it honestly lol. I watched their intro videos and Danielle's stands out the most. (I think she's the pizza one lol). The Green Team was originally going to try and get Jenna to flip back with us but we're not sure if she even values us so now we're going to try and flip with the fans and somehow vote Jenna out.

First of, can i say that i missed jones and tim. 😭❤️ Like im so happy i finally got to talk to them. I missed my DAD Jones. We have a duo alliance going on. I brought it up right when the joint chat was made. Its going to be great. As for the vote tonight. We are going to target Nick. And hope that Jenna stays with us.

HNNNNN Jenna isn't going to flip on the fans to my knowledge which really fucks over a lot of things. Now I'm not sure if I'm gonna be targeted or Jones or Nick. TJ and JD can go home and I'll be fine but I'd hate to get out right now. In my head I'm like UGH JENNA JUST FLIP BACK TO FAVS you'll be in a good spot and won't jeopardize anything!!! And you'll almost surely guarantee Jury!!!! But on the outside Im like.. omg ya fans vs favs is over the swap did that snatched wig tea okurrt PEriod. I just wanted a simple tribal but now I'm losing my shit. If I go after Nikias I will JUMP.

Honestly my allies bore me. I guess I trust them but I don't know... this other tribe seems to suck too. I just want a favorite to leave at this point because the fans are getting slaughtered. But Thomas is an interesting situation. We definitely have a past and he's the biggest threat but the devil you know is better than the devil you don't? But I know he'll pick Jess over me any day of the week I've been a little quieter so I predict people might have doubts but I'm loyal to my alliance for now. I'm just trying to lay low and make it to the merge before I can really be a crazy cunt. Nick is apparently the vote and I'm sad because he's also a minority? But not too sad because idk him.

updates: Maynor, Mitchell, Tim and I make an alliance maybe possibly? also,, we're probs gonna surrender to the fans lmao sorry JD :(

I think nicks going home but I’m kinda nervous. Jenna’s sticking with us fans apparently. Jonesy wants jenna out that’s all the tea I have

I was prepared to flip when they brought up Jones’ name. Like nah. I would lay down my game for Jones aka Dad. For this vote cuz i think theres a swap coming after this vote. Hopefully. It looks like its Nick tonight which i am fine with.

(i don't have the time/energy to film a video confessional) THEY'RE REALLY GOING FOR ME HUH MITCHELL THAT FUCKING RAT threw my name out to the rest of the fans because I suggested Jenna, and now they wanna vote me out (the only reason why I know is bc my king maynor told me) Maynor said he'd try to switch the vote, but right now, it's on me, and that's NOT OKAY HAHAHA. if it stays on me, then he's gonna flip. it's so INTERESTING how all I do is suggest someone who's a CLEAR MINORITY ON THE OTHER TRIBE to be voted out!! and then SUDDENLY some fake vague ass people wanna cherish her???? like suddenly she's the token person on the tribe??? that's fake as fuck and they know that. ok while i'm writing this,,, apparently the vote went off me. but it's also all up to JENNA like ARE YOU KIDDING. like,, y'all are a group of 5 people, you can come up with a decision on your own and she can go with it. like she's really chill, I like her I think she's cool, but she shouldn't be getting this treatment from a tribe that had her on the bottom before. i'm at a point where i'm just trying to get Maynor to flip to our side, because h's just as frustrated about this situation as I am. and I don't really want Nick to will me/tim his idol if we can get him to flip. ,,, so yeah *does fake ass stick out tongue thing*

This vote is a MESS. At one point it was Jones and then its JD and now its TJ and now I want to JUMP from a cliff. Also Nick is two faced. Apparently he had an idol hunt group composed of Alyssa, JD, Whats her face, and Himself. He probably used MY idol clue and I want to fite him.

Hi I’ve been very tired owo so I come out of nowhere and honestly I’m like, this is cute owo so now I’m just going to come out of nowhere when we swap, and honestly that’s cute :,)

so according to Maynor it's between Jenna and Nick, i'm still trying to work my magic on Maynor, and I think it's working. hopefully a swap is coming sometime soon though so i can kick Mitchell's ass laksdjflsdkj

I can't imagine being in a better position in this game. Think about it:

1. I got almost everyone's trust from the fans tribe. 2. I got swapfucked alongside Jess, who I barely spoke to prior. 3. I got connected with Jess and solidified a relationship. 4. I made connections with Sammy, Alyssa, Chelsea, and Jose. 5. We haven't lost a single competition, and now the other 2 tribes will be pitted against one another. Whoever votes in the minority will be forced to come to Jess and I, so in essence, we hold every ounce of power. Best case scenario: We get swapped into a tribe with current Hosororo and old fans, giving me the ability to pick and choose who stays and who goes. Worst case scenario: We get swapfucked and I need to make new relationships with alternative favorites. I would also be more than fine staying in the same tribe, considering there is a clear gap between our tribe and the other 2.

Our tribe really thought Jenna was the swing vote. Bish it was actually me. Im pan with a plan and im here to make messy as moves. Jones aka DAD. ❤️ I think im going to flip and do Jenna. While my fans + jenna are doing Nick. Im really hoping there is a swap cuz if there isnt im screwed. But its a move and me and Jonesy are going to be the villians of the season. But at the end of the day. A favorite is still going home.

Me and Jones went on call for an hour and talked about the vote. We're sticking with voting Jenna out. Jonesy worked her magic on Maynor and is getting him to flip. Also Mitchell is a bad bean akdjdjs. Anyways ... Me and My wig have decided to vote ... for Jenna Nick wanted me to play the idol on him since he's getting votes this round and Maynor may not flio but HNNNNN i dont want that target on me just as of now. It'd be too risky and since he made an idol hunt group without me on our OG tribe... I considered letting him will me the idol and then him getting voted out ajsjsksks.

Well, there's no way of getting this to work unless Jones works her magic. I'm simply trying to get people to realize that I'm social and understanding of how this game gets played. Hopefully I can get people to want to keep me and play with me come a tribe swap or a merge.

It’s been a weird round.  I fought my ass off in the challenge but to no avail.  This joint tribal has been a battle.  I think Maynor is flipping to vote out Jenna.  If I’m wrong it’s me with an idol in my pocket. But my allies Tim and Jonesy both feel confident in Maynor and you can’t win Survivor alone so I’m going to stick with my homies and not play my idol.  Gulp.  Wish me luck:

Curse you hosts! Throwing us into a blender to vote someone out! RTQ-read the question, or so my professor always said. What do I do not not read the whole thing and forget to put a Guyana sign or even say it In my videos. Which leaves me scrabbling to do it all again. Dog food and fucking hot sauce bullshit is not something you want to do twice in one night, let alone in one week. Lesson for the day? READ THR MOTHER FUCKING QUESTION FOLKS!

YALL I am so sorry about not making confessionals. It's just I always have a fear that I am wasting my time and that the confessionals won't even got posted...and like nothing interesting has happened on my tribe.  Here are some fun facts tho: after tonight me, Alyssa, José, and Chelsea are the only ones that have not gone to tribal. YEEHAW SKEET SKEET YALL.  I am living in paradise, I have connected w Devon and Jess pretty well.  Devon I know I can trust 100%, I am sure that Jess and Alyssa are pretty close but I still trust them too. I want to be reunited with JONESSSS I miss her.  CRYING IN THE CLUB RN.  We had a mini tribe call just to like chit chat and that was fun.  Jess also destroyed the comp and if José would not have been on our tribe I would have asked to sit out bc like I was still recovering from editing the music video. UMM what else. Oh we have that lit joint tribal that we do not have to go to #BLESS and Idk yall I am just waiting to go to tribal so I can play the game, it's hard coming up with stuff to do and have fun when u winnn.  I have just been collecting tea about the fans sooo

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THAT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO WORK OUT OH MY GOD BLESS MAYNOR HOLY FUCK I LOVE THAT MAN SO MUCH that's all for now xoxo, i'll do a more detailed video confessional later

Not even going to lie.. I'm shitting bricks that José is going to fuck up this challenge for us. If he does RIP me in this game. I think I'm the one on the outs out of the 5 of us. Devon is connected with people like Chelsea who won't even give me the time of day.. I'm fucked. SO FUCKED.

Lets start off with Jenna.  I am very sorry. Im sorry that i voted for you. Im a sorry that i made the move? No. I felt you were too close to Dani and Sarah and Aidan and Mitchell. And you had lots of power that tribal. I guess you can say you were sarah and i was kass in this vote. And chaos struck. No one knew my connection to my dad aka Jones and Tim. They are ❤️. I would protect them and i did. Am i ready for the fall out idk. Hopefully no one takes the temptation on our tribe cuz my ass will go right behind Jenna. If I cant do damage control.

Welcome to my: "I Think I may Just be PMSING" rant for this round. BUT I JUST NEED A FUCKING PERSON IN THIS GAME. Someone who I know has my back at least 75%. I'm not asking for a miracle here.. I know someone having your back 100% isn't realistic at all. However, I just need someone who I know going forward will pick me over their old friends or tribe-mates if when we swap or if I make it to merge. Where is this all coming from? I have no idea. I just have a fucking weird feeling. I felt good with my tribe but for some reason something just feels OFF to me. This is probably my paranoia kicking in or my hormones? Only time will fucking tell.... If you'd ask me currently who I considered my person I would say it's Devon by fucking default.  WHICH IS REALLY SAD CONSIDERING HOW WE WERE PRE-SWAP. We swapped together, he has ACTUALLY given me information. BUT..... I know homeboy is looking out for himself first and will sell me out when time comes. SO that's not good for me in the future... I know he has a tendency to tell people the same things too so.. that’s a mood. I would have said Alyssa is my person HOWEVER, I don't see a scenario where she chooses me over Chelsea or Sammy on this tribe right now. In the future? Possibly, I won't rule that out at all.  But for the remainder of however long we have on this tribe... I don't feel good at all. She gives me almost no information and that could be a result of me not giving her information but I’ve honestly told her everything I know. Mitchell possibly being on the bottom, what went into the Lucy/Bee vote. That’s all I got. I physically can not give her anything else. SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING I KNOW. Maybe she doesn’t know anything? I have no fucking idea. I want to work with her SO BAD. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to work with SOMEONE MORE IN A GAME. BUT I fucking can’t shake the feeling of her stabbing me in the back if it came down to me or Devon. I'm trying not to let my paranoia show and I know I've let it slip a couple of times in conversations with Alssya/ Sammy. They ignored me for a good 20 minutes when I said it so it was obvious they were on a call or communicating someway. OR MAYBE IT’S MY PMS OR PARANOIA?!!!! I’m just sure I’ve STRESSED THIS FACT ENOUGH BUTTTTT: I AM FUCKING NERVOUS. I’m almost as nervous as a drug addict taking a fucking piss test right now.  If José pulls some shit in this challenge I’m going if we LOSE MY FUCKING COOL LIKE NO TOMORROW. The way I see the connections on this tribe right now is simple: Devon has connections with Sammy/ Chelsea.  Side note: Chelsea acts like I’m the plague in her pm’s.  She ignores me harder than I ignore all of my life responsibilities and I ignore them pretty fucking hard. I believe I’m closer to Alyssa than Devon is but will she have the votes if it came down to it? NO. Sammy is close to everyone. He’s my pick to win right now. He has everything a future winner has.

Color me SHOOK. Im very surprised that they are handling the Jenna very calm and understanding. I might not have been in as much danger as i thought. I told them the truth about why I did the vote and all the reasons. The paranoia. My anxiety that was spiraling out of control. I didnt tell them tho of my connection to Jonesy 🦑❤️ But i want to thank Jones for calming me down from my anxiety before the vote. And to Sarah who helped me after tribal cuz my anxiety kicked up again after i couldnt talk to jones and people were confused on what happened and were asking around. I am much better today tho. A little calmer than last night.

I am really bad at this, I so imma spill some tea, which I don't have much of. Me and Mitchell agreed to work together until merge then we would kill each other whenever it best suited us. Which was a good think to do because apparently I'm a scary comp beast :D If that is all I am remembered for at the end of this game I'll be happy <3 More to come but I am at work soooooo yeah, more to come ~finger guns~

Also I have NO idea why everyone trusts Mitchell so much!! He’s a snake and if he doesn’t go home this week, the rest of my tribe are idiots

Well...that was quick. Aidan taking the advantage is really interesting, and also very telling: 1. Do the fans have a clear majority? Sarah and Dani didn't trust Mitchell, and this would be the perfect time to knock him out. 2. Is Aidan ACTUALLY playing the game? He seems to have a grip on what will happen tonight, which is fearsome, considering he didn't do jackshit on the original fans tribe. 3. What is this twist for later tonight? I predict the advantage has to do with either picking the swapped tribes or sending someone to exile at the F15, making it 7 vs 7 with 1 at exile.

It looks like they may have thrown the challenge? I might be screwed? Like not in the good way. 😏  They said Mitchell’s name and i want to believe them but how are you going to be like i dont want to go to tribal and hope someone else takes it to taking the temptation. Its very clear of their intention. I just hope they are telling me the real target. Cuz if not im dead. And ill be gone. If its me, its been great. Its been fun. I wish i could have lasted longer. But oh well. Sarah i hope you make it far. Jonesy ❤️ Kill it and take the title.

oh my godddd, so sorry I forgot to do a confessional. I completely forget to do them when my tribe doesn't have to go to tribal. ;) I genuinely love my tribe so much and have actively talked to everyone ever since the switch. Now there's talk about swaps that may happen, but I don't want that to happen. :( The only good thing that could come out of a swap is that I would have an easier time choosing someone to vote out if need be, because by the looks of it, my current tribe is the most active and serious about making it to the top. I really don't want any switches to happen unless it's merge! Also, I don't think my tribe is ever going to talk in the temptation chat because we're all so on the same page. Ugh, I love them.

I think Sarah is going home because Mitchell Aidan and I made an alliance. She threw both Mitchell and my name so.