#all of that is only one symptom of a very large problem

[polaksli]

Brief history of anti-LGBT legislations in Russia

Throughout 90s and 2000s there were no discriminatory laws in Russia. There were openly queer celebrities (whether they said they were for PR alone or not is a complicated subject. Nevertheless, there were people who gained popularity and presented queer)

In 2013 the first legislation passed. It was an "anti-propaganda" law to "protect children" from becoming gay. The way to work around it was putting +18 on any piece of media or an event that contained even a mention of the subject.

In 2022 anti-propaganda law stopped being for children only. LGBT was mentioned next to pedophilia, both in the same regard. The law was rushed (like many of the oppressive laws since the invasion in Ukraine) and it was not clear what exactly it meant. In practice it mostly affected movies, TV and internet publications.

Earlier this year, in june 2023, ban of transgender transitioning was put in place. Once again, very poorly worded. This one and the previous one had two main functions:

To censor opposition. Most of those, who disagree with the current state of politics in Russia, if not outright support LGBT, at least don't mind. This information can be dug up and used against said people.

To create an enemy. The war was supposed to be won quickly. They promoted their army to be the second greatest in the word, they promised to take Kyiv in 3 days. Nothing of that happened, but life for everyday people got worse. One of the ways to redirect that frustration is fight an enemy that doesn't exist.

The russian government does not care about queer people nor understands us. They preach to their electorate that they nurtured to hate any "other". They make russian believe that our neighbors are nazis, the whole world wants us dead and they take our children by making them gay. I believed this is where they would stop.

There is no "LGBT organisation" in Russia. Before that they tried to find any minute reason or make up a reason to silence the opposition. Now they don't even need the organisation to exist.

Once again, the words are very loose, so they can use the law in any way they see fit - a very popular practice. It is not yet active, the court decision does not specify that exactly. Some sources say it will be 10th of January, 2024.

Any display of "non traditional values" will be equated to terrorism.

[cripplecharacters]

Hi! I was actually wondering if you all could do a really in-depth post specifically on canes versus forearm crutches. I’ve noticed a couple of the recent asks pertain to it, and I think I myself still have one in the queue related to it, but in all of the posts y’all link us too in your answers to those asks, I have found the information is still very sparse and doesn’t directly compare the two in a lot of detail. I would really really love to see a specific dedicated post that breaks down the differences Between them directly, and goes into a lot more detail about what kind of person might prefer a cane and what kind of person might prefer forearm crutches. Differences in conditions, pain levels, fatigue levels, location of issue on their body, other symptoms, examples of disabilities that might more commonly default to one over the other, all that stuff. I’ve looked through basically all your posts on the subject I can find, and still feel like it’s really only scratching the surface, so if there’s a way y’all would be willing to do one big post on this topic specifically, I know at least I would really love it and I think others would as well! Most of the existing posts are a little too broad and surface level, and while I have found them super helpful as a starting point, I would love to see one that zooms in just on these two mobility aids rather than a broad overview of all types of mobility aids being compared like most of the existing resources y’all have. Seriously love what you all do and I would be extremely grateful for this!

Hi anon, just for you:

On Writing Characters Using Canes vs Crutches

[large text: On Writing Characters Using Canes vs Crutches]

This is a writing advice post that doesn't cover every single possibility because that's too impossible to try and do. It's simplified (!!!) to be coherent for writers who have little to no experience with these sorts of mobility aids, and I encourage anyone who wants to write a character using either of these to treat this post as a small part of a larger research process. This post will contain generalizations for the purpose of me wanting to actually finish it. This is writing advice, not medical information, nor something you should be applying to real life.

Please keep in mind that a lot of the disability examples will only be shown in a single category because otherwise this would be a comical block of text. So yeah, I know that a ton of conditions outside the "chronic pain" category also come with chronic pain, but I want this list to be actually easy to look through.

This will compare the cane (singular stick) to crutches (two sticks). Differences between a singular crutch and two canes will be at the end.

Canes

[large text: Canes]

The most primitive mobility aid that's out there. A wrist-height stick with a handle. You hold it in your hand (at a rather natural angle) and that's mostly it - it's meant to follow a standard (left leg forward, right arm forward) gait and be a support meant for generally milder mobility issues. A cane can take up to 25% of body weight, so like half of what a leg does.

As a TLDR, here's what they could be:

One leg unable to bear the entire weight (but not completely unable) - this could be a result of a problem anywhere from the bottom of the foot all the way to the hip.

Milder balance problems - largely neurological, so either a condition that affects the brain, the spinal cord, or the nerves in the leg. There are also some autoimmune, respiratory, and cardiovascular causes as well, plus a few more.

Back/trunk problems, most commonly pain.

To use a cane you need two legs, most people who use canes for leg reasons will have a “good leg” and a “bad leg”. If this is the case, you'd typically hold the cane on the good leg side, as that redistributes the weight - and pain - between the bad leg and the cane.

The good leg needs to be able to bear the whole weight comfortably, the bad leg needs to be able to bear, at the very least, half of the weight. If the disability affects legs to the point where either:

both have problems weight-bearing;

one can't bear weight at all (e.g., amputation, flaccid paralysis, pain too severe);

then two crutches (or other mobility aid, like a wheelchair) would be the move. The cane doesn't replace an entire leg and is meant to be a minor support.

Examples of what would cause someone to use a cane:

Monoplegia or hemiplegia that is spastic (rigid) in the leg. This could be a result of stroke, traumatic brain injury, cerebral palsy, multiple sclerosis, nerve damage, Brown-Séquard syndrome, polio, encephalitis, transverse myelitis, progressive multifocal leukoencephalopathy, alternating hemiplegia of childhood, hemiplegic migraines, or being a hemispherectomy survivor. And many more things.

Chronic pain; arthritis, hypermobility spectrum disorders, chronic patellar instability, h-EDS, neuropathy, peripheral artery disease, past injuries (e.g., broken foot that healed incorrectly), systemic lupus erythematosus, joint replacement, chronic bursitis, and a lot more.

Relatively minor fatigue - most fatigue disorders will be on a wide spectrum, and people's symptoms often vary a lot. But a cane could help with fibromyalgia, Charcot Marie Tooth disease, POTS, scoliosis, severe kyphosis/lordosis, COPD (and other respiratory conditions), or milder forms of CFS/ME. Someone undergoing chemotherapy (or taking some other fatigue-causing medication) could also use one.

Muscle conditions, which are an even bigger spectrum. Spinal muscular atrophy type 3 and 4, early Limb-Girdle muscular dystrophy, tibial MD, Becker MD, or early myotonic dystrophy type 2 can all be reasons to use a cane. Keep in mind that these have drastically different presentations from person to person, and it's not entirely unusual for two people with the same kind of muscular dystrophy to use very different mobility aids (e.g., a tilt-in-space powerchair vs ...no aid at all). These are just the ones where I'm aware of a person who 1) has it, 2) uses a cane, even if it's not the most common aid.

Prosthetic leg on one side; usually below knee (high level amputees will more often go for crutches, even if they use a prosthetic).

The second biggest reason why people use a cane is balance. For this the cane can be held in either hand; some people have a preference, generally for the non-dominant hand for convenience - although many people with balance problems will also have a coordination disorder that might make using their non-dominant hand too difficult. Some people will switch the side they hold it on.

For a lot of people with balance problems, a cane might be the aid they use at home, and use a rollator or a wheelchair outside.

A good cane for balance purposes is a quad cane - it has four legs at the bottom and offer more stability than the single point equivalent. However, the larger base might also mean that for some people it can be easier to hit it with their foot, which ranges from annoying to dangerous.

Examples of disabilities that affect balance;

Many of the things included in the first section - primarily those that directly affect the brain or nerves.

Conditions that cause vertigo - again, many of the same things as before because a lot of them tend to originate in the brain. So other than aforementioned meningitis or stroke and the like: Ramsay Hunt syndrome, migraines, basically any sort of brain damage, POTS, Meniere's disease, labyrinthitis.

Respiratory problems, like chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, severe asthma, or lupus.

Coordination disorders - again, a lot of overlap with aforementioned disabilities, so I'll skip to things I haven't mentioned yet. Ataxia could be caused by a lot of things; some include the Chiari malformation, ataxia-telangiectasia, Friedrich's ataxia, Parkinson's, brain tumors, or Niemann-Pick disease. Dystonia is usually a primary condition rather than being caused by other things (although it can be!). Dyspraxia is also a coordination disorder generally milder than ataxia, and canes can be potentially helpful for it as well.

As mentioned before, some coordination disorders will affect the upper limbs as well, and it might be too difficult to use a cane. For disabilities like Huntington’s disease, or ataxia that significantly affects the hands, rollators and wheelchairs tend to be more helpful.

Anything that causes the person to fall. Fall risk is the primary reason people use canes.

A cane can also be used for back/trunk issues. One can lift off some weight of the body from above the Problem by putting the weight on the arm instead. I have really severe kyphosis as well as (partial) trunk muscle atrophy/coordination problems and quite literally can't straighten my back for more than a few minutes at most - my cane allows me to do that more easily and without needing to think about it as much.

Examples of some conditions that cause that include;

sciatica;

degenerative disk disease;

past spine injury;

scoliosis or severe kyphosis/lordosis.

In my experience, you need fairly good arm strength to use a cane comfortably. For people with more significant weakness in upper limbs, rollators tend to work better.

Grip strength is also important; there are canes designed to mitigate this (the platform cane/crutch comes to mind) but they're not the most common because often (not always!) when someone has this issue they already require a larger mobility aid.

Canes are often a "starting" mobility aid, i.e., a person starts using it at first but later transitions to using something else as their disability progresses (or they realize that it wasn't adequate in the first place, it mostly happens with slowly progressive conditions - when they decide to get a cane, it's often just too late). A cane can be useful at the very start of an onset of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, but it's basically worthless beyond that.

Similarly (kind of), a cane can be the "smaller" mobility aid for someone who uses multiple of them at the same time. Someone dealing with fatigue could use a cane at home, but need a rollator for going out, or a wheelchair for longer trips. Another person could use a cane when going out with a prosthetic leg on, but use a wheelchair or crutches at home when not wearing the prosthetic.

Crutches

[large text: Crutches]

These are more complex and provide more help. Crutches directly affect your gait depending on the exact disability, and take away both hands. They can potentially take up to 100% of body weight for parts of the walking cycle if you have good upper body strength and balance, and 50% otherwise (so, one good or two half-good legs still required).

Crutches are used for a lot of things (realistically too many to cover here) so I'll just go with the main categories that encompass most of them.

A) Both legs can't fully bear weight;

The same things as in the cane section, but present on both sides rather than one.

Hypotonia; can be caused by thousands of things. Some include Down syndrome, Tay-Sachs syndrome, achondroplasia, being born prematurely, brain damage, and congenital hypothyroidism.

Paraplegia that's low-level and/or incomplete, or quadriplegia that's incomplete. Quadriplegia is a huge spectrum as well, and it will depend on the amount of strength and flexibility that the individual person has in their arms and hands.

Bilateral amputation with prosthetics. (Someone who can bear weight no problem but has a milder balance problem could use a cane instead.)

B) One leg can't bear any or a lot of weight;

The same things as in the cane section, they're basically all on a spectrum, so some people choose a cane and others choose crutches.

Unilateral amputation, or congenital limb difference.

Limb length discrepancy where it doesn't touch the ground or barely does so.

C) Significant balance issues;

Same things as for canes, but either more severe or just someone's personal preference.

D) Back/trunk pain;

Same as C).

Additional note based on things I have seen: you can't use crutches if you have no legs and no prosthetics. You can't walk literally just on crutches. You need at least a single leg or prosthetic.

(Yeah I'm aware that there's probably a guy somewhere who does tricks where he does exactly that for a short video. That's Crutches Georg and he should not be counted because 99.9% of crutches users won't be doing that ever.)

Crutches will provide much more stability and relieve more pressure than a cane, but there is a wide range of the amount of support depending on how they are utilized.

What the disability is can actually present itself in the person's gait - there are a few main ones that are associated with crutches;

Four-point. The two legs and two crutches work as four different points of support, and three of them are in contact with the ground at any time. A lot (not all!) of people who use it will use crutches full-time and/or not be able to stand without them. The most stable and the slowest out of all of these.

Three-point. Probably the one most people have in mind when thinking crutches? The crutches both move at the same time, along with the bad leg, then the good leg follows. This is the "broken leg in a cast" way of walking.

Two-point. The closest to how non-crutch users generally walk. It's like having a cane on each side; left crutch forward, right leg forward. Fairly fast.

Step-to. The crutches work as one point of contact, and the legs as the other - both of each will move forward at the same time. In the step-to, a person puts their feet at the crutches' height. Fairly fast as well.

and step-through. I'd say the most difficult, least stable, providing the least amount of support. The same as in step-to, both crutches go forward before both legs, however here the legs get swung through them while the person is only holding up on crutches. This is the fastest that it gets, and can definitely be faster than an abled person walking. You can run quickly like this.

If you have issues visualizing them, there are a lot of great demonstrations on YouTube that you can look up for clarification.

There are a lot of subtle differences in which one people end up using, but as a rule of thumb, the more balance they lack, the more points of support they need. To provide some examples;

a person with quadriplegic cerebral palsy might lack balance and coordination, so they might use a four-point gait.

A person with one-sided tarsal tunnel syndrome can walk with a three-point gait, as it can be used to mitigate weight-bearing fully or partially - if the pain gets worse, they can just... not touch the ground with that leg.

A person with incomplete thoracic spinal cord injury could also work with a three point gait, though they would put both legs on the ground. If someone has good strength in the arms and trunk, they can get both crutches in the front along with one leg, then try to get the second one to go forward as well. This is how a lot of crutch users with a disability affecting two legs, but with decent balance and upper body strength, walk.

A person who had a traumatic brain injury and now experiences balance problems but not as much leg issues could opt for a two-point gait. It does help with weight redistribution, but primarily provides a lot of balance.

Both step-to and step-through are primarily used by single-leg problem havers (like unilateral amputees) in my experience, but I've seen people with diplegia or incomplete low-level spastic paraplegia use it too. You need very good balance and good upper body strength. I've seen dudes do backflips and ride skateboards on crutches like this. You can run as well and be way faster than you think.

The same as canes, crutches require arm strength. The more you're looking to take away from the legs, the more will go to the shoulders. If someone doesn't have the needed arm strength, a rollator will be more helpful. Walkers not so much as they still require some strength to turn.

More Direct Comparisons

[large text: More Direct Comparisons]

The differences between pain and fatigue levels might be somewhat evident from comparing the sections above - to generalize the subject as much as possible: the bigger the pain or the fatigue, the higher possibility of using crutches over a cane is. They provide more relief for both, as well as providing more balance.

Now, there's always exceptions. Someone might not be able to use two sticks, because of a disability affecting one of the arms - hemiplegia is a common example. In this case, the person could prefer to use a single crutch rather than two. They could opt for platform crutches, which don't require as secure of a grip. They might need a rollator instead. They might have a powerchair that they operate with their good arm.

Another thing is that some people will use crutches even if a cane would work just as well. Some people like the grip more, or find them easier to use. They could also like that crutches are seen as more medical than a cane, which could be seen as a fashion accessory. Maybe they can be faster on crutches than with a cane (e.g., if their disability is limited to a single leg, getting it out of the walk cycle might be more convenient) and that matters to them.

And to go with this, some people just don't like crutches! I personally don't like the forearm cuff because I tend to swing my wrist around with my cane rather than hold it perfectly straight, so the cuff seems annoying. For someone else that could be more than a preference, e.g. if they have a limb difference that affects the length of their forearms to be much shorter - a person like this could prefer two canes.

As to what mobility aids are better for which disabilities, it's highly individualized, but to heavily generalize again: canes tend to be more helpful for relatively milder disabilities, and crutches for relatively more significant ones based on the amount of support they provide. But that's an oversimplification so simple that it's not really useful.

Someone with neuropathy in parts of their foot might find a cane completely sufficient, but it wouldn't be as useful for someone with nerve damage that caused flaccid paralysis from the hip down; they would probably prefer crutches. But then again, someone with mild vertigo could use crutches because they prefer them (even if a cane would work just fine) while someone else might have incomplete C6 quadriplegia and use a cane with leg braces over crutches because they enjoy having a free hand.

For more similarities between the two; overuse injuries can happen to both cane and crutch users, generally in the shoulder(s). They're not very common unless you're putting more weight on them than you're supposed to. They're very annoying because it drastically tanks your mobility until they get better (unless you can walk without them just as much that is), but they're treatable with physical therapy.

Now for the two canes and a singular crutch. Let's start with the fact that the latter is infinitely more popular than the former. It's basically the same as a single cane but more supportive; it's good for people who need more balance than a cane provides but can't use both hands. Two canes is very rare and I can't tell you what the actual pattern of choosing them over other options is outside personal preference because I have no idea.

The general conclusion of the post is that crutches and canes really aren't that different, and are more of a spectrum of usable sticks by the amount of support they provide to the user. That's why often you'll see canes and crutches listed as the same thing when it comes to "management of XYZ disability" type resources - for a lot of them they're rather similar in practice, especially when compared to rollators, walkers, scooters, or wheelchairs.

I hope this was more in depth and therefore more helpful, if this still leaves you with some unanswered question feel free to reach out again.

mod Sasza

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved in our archive

Summary: Healthy adults who contracted COVID-19 had subtle but measurable declines in memory and cognitive performance lasting up to a year. These differences were found through sensitive testing under controlled conditions, though all scores remained within normal ranges, and none of the participants reported lasting cognitive symptoms.

The research highlights how even mild COVID-19 can impact brain function and points to the potential need for treatments to mitigate these effects. Further studies are needed to explore how COVID-19 compares with other respiratory infections, like flu, in terms of cognitive impact.

Key Facts:

COVID-19 can cause subtle cognitive changes in memory and problem-solving for up to a year. These effects were detected through sensitive cognitive tests, not self-reports. Participants in the study did not experience any noticeable long-term cognitive symptoms. Source: Imperial College London

A new analysis from Imperial’s human challenge study of COVID-19 has revealed subtle differences in the memory and cognition scores of healthy volunteers infected with SARS-CoV-2, which lasted up to a year after infection.

The researchers say all scores fell within expected normal ranges for healthy individuals and no one reported experiencing any lasting cognitive symptoms such as brain fog.

The findings, published in the journal eClinicalMedicine, show a small but measurable difference following highly intensive cognitive testing of 18 healthy young people with infection compared to those who did not become infected, monitored under controlled clinical conditions.

The team explains that incorporating such sensitive cognitive testing into future studies could help reveal more detailed insights into how infections may alter brain function and could help to find ways to reduce these processes when they cause symptoms.

Senior author Professor Adam Hampshire, from the Department of Brain Sciences at Imperial College London and now based at King’s College London, explained, “We know that COVID-19 can have lasting impacts on our memory and ability to carry out common cognitive tasks.

However, much of the scientific evidence we have comes from large studies based on self-testing and reporting, or where there’s a range of variables that could increase or reduce these effects.

“Our work shows that these cognitive effects are replicated even under carefully controlled conditions in healthy individuals—including infection with a comparable dose of virus—and further highlights how respiratory infections can impact specific aspects of brain function.

“We were only able to detect some of these effects because of the trial design, which used very sensitive tests and controlled conditions, with participant performance compared to their own pre-inoculation baselines. This enabled us to pick up on subtle changes of which the participants themselves appear not to have been aware.”

COVID-19 and cognition Previous studies that included patients with a wide range of severities have shown COVID-19 can have a lasting impact on people’s brain function. One such study, led by Imperial and involving more than 140,000 people, found small deficits in the performance of cognitive and memory tasks in people who had recovered from COVID-19, with differences evident a year or more after infection.

In the latest study, researchers analyzed findings from a small group of healthy volunteers who were part of the world’s first human challenge study for COVID-19 in 2021. The findings reveal subtle differences in how they performed on the same tests, which lasted up to 12 months although later testing could have been affected by other and later factors.

During the trial, 36 healthy, young participants with no previous immunity to the virus were infected with SARS-CoV-2 and monitored under controlled clinical conditions. They were carefully monitored and remained at the facility until they were no longer infectious. From the group, 18 participants became infected and developed mild illness, one without symptoms.

Participants also performed sets of tasks to measure multiple distinct aspects of their brain function, including memory, planning, language and problem solving, using the Cognitron platform. Participants took the tests before exposure to the virus, during the two weeks they spent in the clinical facility, and then at multiple points for up to a year.

Analysis showed that those who became infected with SARS-CoV-2 had statistically lower cognitive scores than uninfected volunteers—compared to baseline scores—during their infection as well as during the follow-up period. The main differences in scores were seen in memory and executive function tasks (including working memory, attention and problem solving).

Differences in scores between groups were seen up to one year after infection, with the uninfected group performing slightly better on tasks overall.

The researchers note that the observed differences were small and that none of the volunteers reported prolonged cognitive symptoms. They also highlight limitations of the study, including the small sample size and that the majority of participants were white males, and so caution is needed in extrapolating the findings to the general population.

They explain that future research could examine the biological links between respiratory infection and cognition in COVID-19, and even show how this impact compares with other conditions, such as Respiratory syncytial virus (RSV) or influenza.

Co-author Professor Christopher Chiu, from the Department of Infectious Disease at Imperial College London, who led the COVID-19 human challenge study, said, “These latest findings from our study add more fine detail to the picture we have of COVID-19 and other respiratory infectious diseases.

“Challenge studies can offer a tool to help us better understand how infections disrupt a range of biological functions. Here, by showing biological effects that fall below what could be considered symptoms or disease, we were able to identify the smallest changes in these pathways.

“This could ultimately help us to develop new treatments to reduce or even block some of these effects, which we know on other settings can have lasting impacts on people’s lives.”

Study Link: www.thelancet.com/journals/eclinm/article/PIIS2589-5370(24)00421-8/fulltext

[verycharismaticdragon]

Been thinking about Luo Binghe. As one does, but in this particular instance of why, waaaaaay before I actually like... understood large portions of his character and themes tied to it, I still came out of the novel having imprinted on him.

Because I've talked lately about how important it is to read deeply to actually understand him, but I definitely didn't do that on my first read. He was absolutely as confusing and weird to me as to any of the ppl that hate on him, I just. didn't feel the same despite seeing the same picture.

And after mulling this over, I think this is due to his character soothing a very particular anxiety for me. As a mentally ill neurodivergent person - and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one of those who feel this way - I have definitely wondered at times if I was much more difficult to love than ye average neurotypical. Not in the way of mental illness making one feel unlovable (though dam it sure does that.), but more in the "woah my symptoms are sure a handful to deal with, hard to imagine someone would sign up to do all that work on a life partnership scale" way.

And you see, in media you definitely get (positively portrayed) characters who have a similar problem. But the authors don't really... manage to portray those characters' concerns as having weight. Because they shy away from making those characters symptoms, well, too problematic - lest they actually become unlovable for the audience.

MXTX, however, goes full throttle with Luo Binghe. He's undeniably, glaringly difficult. He does so many things that he really shouldnt have (that he instantly regrets, actually), quite a few of those hurting the person he loves. He gets in his head so much he nearly causes an apocalyptic event over that person saying 'uh-huh' to someone else without even meaning it. He needs constant reassurances. "A handful" doesn't begin to describe him.

And... throughout all of that, he is loved. We are in the head of a guy who loves him. Who gets exasperated, and doesn't understand, and goes through a lot of shit because of Luo Binghe - and yet never stops just, loving him and caring about him, whatever happens.

So Luo Binghe is someone who is genuinely difficult to love - portrayed so without pulling any punches. Definitely more difficult than an average nd guy like me or u. But. He is portrayed as deserving of - and receiving - unconditional, boundless, and eventually commited love anyway. Even when it is actually, forgive the overused quote, rotten work.

He gets to have that.

Yeah, no fucking wonder I tucked him into my ribcage right next to my heart even before I really understood why.

[crying-fantasies]

Radiation exposure

Masterlist

Humanity has been exposed to radiation way before our own existence or evolution, we receive radiation waves from Earth's core, from outer space and many other sources, of course, humans can only tolerate so much of either of those, living in the surface away from the core and under the atmosphere, away from real and unfiltered space radiation.

Still, it's healthy, deep space travelers must return to Earth or a atmosphere similar planet every 10 or so years even with the most advanced gadgets, deep under sea travelers too, there is just so much that technology can do for a living human in order to stay healthy and not have health realted problems.

Cybertronians are technological living mechanisms and so, they are a curious mixture of electric related radiation and outer space radiation, of course cybertronians have compensated the exposure to hard environments more than once in their lengthy existence as a race, their protection being one of the best in all galaxy.

Humans, sometimes, have negative reactions to cybertronians' radiation, mostly due to large times of exposure, presenting health problems related to low level exposure of radiation.

These kind of cases are related, curiously, to relationship between them, as it has been deeply noticed humans that live fairly well and harmoniously with cybertronians tend to have very little to none problems, while the ones that show aggressive behavior towards them present almost all the symptoms, while this is still a heavy and complicated topic among the scientific community some psychologists bring up the idea that it must be caused by their own almost physical psique, being the cybertronian EMF working as some kind of shield for humans.

"I don't think so", USFA master sergeant, Robert Epps, gave his own insight, "I work with all these guys regularly and never had even a flu", he then looked behind him, "Hey! Topspin! Twin Twist!", both jumpstarters looked back at him and then to the camera, "do you guys have your EMF on me?"

Both bots looked at each other before the oldest said "umm... no?", then doing a face, "not right now?"

Is yet to be adequately described, but scientifically there's certainly something to it.

Most cybertronians don't just lay out say it, since for them is normal to flare or regress their EMF at will, their youngest being a little more expressive with it, but it appears to be quite normal to use it, in their own words, to keep a track on tiny humans, "if we don't do it we can't know where they are" Twin Twist explained a little, "we aren't looking at the floor all the time, so it's good to have it a little more active to not have an accident".

Topspin adds, "but if it has good things going for them, that's good, right?"

In the worst case scenario, there is the necessity to consume KI tablets, which are largely distributed in anti-cibertronian or overall hostile areas.

When asked the inhabitants of this places, they just answered with basic answers as them, humanity, to be the only real residents of Earth and for the aliens to go back where they came from, even referring to the other humans in contact with the aliens as "traitors of the species".

More research is going to be done, but so far, the different effects of exposure seem to be guided unconsciously by protective or anger like feelings.

[sevenrs]

been seeing interest crop up for a plural interpretation of grey wind/chasing wind, or making plural iterator ocs. this is great! as a system myself, i would like to offer some guiding questions and tips to non-systems to help out in their endeavors. please remember that i am one system and plurality varies VERY HEAVILY among people. other systems are free to comment and add their own tips. just dont turn this post into syscourse

i will use gw/cw as the most prevalent examples but this applies to any oc as well!

- alters are their own people in a lot of cases, not just "personalities". ask yourself, how does gw differ from cw? when presented with the same situation, how do each of them react? do they agree with each other or not? either way, what are their reasons?

- systems are rarely comprised of just two alters. it is not impossible, but very rare. most people notice plural symptoms at around 3 alters and people will on average have between 8-15 alters (but more is very much not unheard of!). think about how many alters gw/cw would have on top of each other

- alters may have different pronouns, sexuality, and ways they want to present themselves from each other. how do gw/cw and other alters differ from each other in this way, if at all?

- if gw/cw's physical body changes to represent who is fronting, was this an ability they had before realizing their plurality? in our world, we cannot change how we look outside of clothes and makeup. if gw/cw do not possess the ability to change physically, do either of them or any other alter feel uncomfortable or even dysphoric looking at their physical body?

- alters' relationships may vary heavily on the same person. how do gw/cw feel about a specific person? how are they the same or different? is one alter in a whole different kind of relationship with someone than another?

- how comfortable is gw/cw with telling others about their plurality? do only they know? their close friends? local group? anyone they come across? plurality is often personal, and is not a singular decision for any one alter in a system to make to tell others. it can be difficult for non-systems to understand what plurality is like (and in our world, cause mockery) so they may think it is easier to stay quiet about it

- plurality happens because of several different conditions. there is did, but there are also ospd-1a and 1b. i would highly recommend doing your own research on these different types of plurality. they each have different effects on memories, emotional state, even how defined the alters themselves. again, look into it

- if gw/cw have memory problems, do they have a way to get around it? private broadcasts? pearls? scratching on the walls? how do they talk to alters not co-concious with them?

- some systems may use role labels to identify themselves as having particular jobs to help/protect the system. these are roles such as host, caretaker, guardian, traumaholder, etc. do your research on this one. do any of these roles apply? or do gw/cw forgo these labels? (personally, we only use the term "host")

- headspace is a place in the mind where alters "live" (it's not a real residence, but it feels that way) headspace may be small, only representing co-conciousness, or very large, giving every alter a more "tangible" place to stay if not fronting. or headspace might not exist at all! (this is most common in systems who just found out about their plurality). what does headspace look like to them? keep in mind, headspace can really look like anything. for me at least, it looks mostly consistent. a few things may change about it or it may expand, but it's not like imagination where anything happens if you think about it

as a disclaimer i am not going to go in depth about trauma or sources in this post. it can get very personal very quickly. a general way i can put it is think of a long term source of stress and/or abuse that may be present in your iterator's life. handle the subject with care.

the best way to learn about the experiences of plurality is to ask people who are systems. as long as you are given consent, come in with genuine curiosity, and be as reasonable as you can, most systems will be okay with questions! it is like any other identity

a side: other ways to make plural iterators?

iterators do not share human anatomy or physiology. they will never perfectly be able to represent plurality like we have it in our world

but the unique characteristics of iterators can lend way into creative ideas that are similar to plurality! (but never, i want to stress, NEVER the same)

notably, several puppets in one can. if you remember that the body of the iterator is the structure, and the puppets are like the face, then you have several faces, personalities, people, in one body. my immunerators play around with this idea and i am sure there are other ways to get creative!

[windvexer]

I’m banning my joint pain istg, anyway what types of spells do you do when you’re body is f-ing you over ( I will banish brain fog and joint pain)

Hey, good question.

My whole deal is that banishing only works if the problem is caused by something banishable.

My general experience with healing magic, while limited, is that it seems to be a very different school than binding and banishing (although there are of course overlaps).

For treatment of chronic symptoms I've found the following to be of use:

Evocation of gods of healing, especially those associated with water

Preparations of baths steeped in healing herbs and stones, of which a very useful addition is the use of a large quantity of salt or epsom salt to draw healing or sacred sigils on the bottom of the tub (make a special note to not add materials irritating to the skin or toxic after prolonged contact)

Evocation of angels, especially Gabriel, and also of Mother Mary, who I'm not sure if she is a lady of Healing, but her presence is deeply soothing during a chronic health meltdown, and you get the feeling that she can make a lot happen behind the scenes

Charms put on food and beverages to the effect of healing, and all culinary herbs of healing similarly worked over to awaken their magical effects. This is especially well done over traditional healing foods, especially foods and meals which are known to have antiinflammatory and restorative effects.

Creation of an infused skin-safe oil in combination with healing plants or stones (again, please do not poison yourself by accidentally overdoing it), which is then prayed over or enchanted with the aid of healing entities - use this to draw holy symbols or symbols of healing on the body where the pain is.

I wish you all the best, and that one day soon, your body will stop f-ing you over.

[petitepatateuwu]

I'm not late for my digital art challenge, time is actually extremely early. Also my sister allowed me to use her photoshop and I am just confused because I can't adapt after looking at the same one software for four years. Also I hurt myself in Paris subway and I'm unhappy.

Don't look at the colour palet thingy, it's 5:00 am and I don't know what I'm doing.

So I decided to use this challenge to develop my dumb au ideas without taking any time to introduce you to it 😈

But because I feel like I should give some context, I'm still gonna yap about it😈😈😈

So actually, Jay isn't the one I should start with, but I'm chaotic so here you go 🫠

But it originally started when I realised that Ninjago gave Cole so little screen time that I started to make my own Cole lore in my head (sometime my brain does this on its own). And basically, I went from "what if Cole had a backstory?" to "what if I gave Cole my childhood trauma because I relate to him way too much?"to "what if Jay had siblings?" to "what if Zane was the only one with a perfect childhood?". And before I knew it an alternate timeline came tickling my circuits at night.

This then became me being mad at season 7 for bringing back Kai and Nya's parents, and decided to give (almost) all the ninjas childhood traumas based on what I understood of their character.

So in this au, Jay doesn't really have any "childhood trauma", but I kinda designed his family to be problematic in a way that he would grow with many insecurities because he lacked parental attention. And this despite his parents being awfully nice and caring to him and his siblings. It's just something that can happen, especially in large families or when the parents are so invested in their work/hobby that they tend to unintentionally neglect their kids, and I think that both are happening in Jay's family.

I'm also thinking that his parents would have difficulties understanding most of their children exposing neurodivergent symptoms. I strongly believe that Jay is on the ADHD spectrum, and as a person with ADHD symptoms as well, I'm using my personal experience to explain how he could've grown with it. (I'm not very good when talking about neurodivergence, just know that I based most of Jay's childhood problems on this video, which I think explains very well how parents can have the best intentions but still hurt their children because they don't understand them)

So of course, the final personalities of the ninjas are a bit different from canon, but I did try to make them similar at best, or close from what I understand of them, which might not be correct X). In this au, Jay is very insecure about his abilities, which results in him hiding most of the time to build/model/create/whatever artistic stuff he said he did, but also in him having more difficulties to unlock some of his powers (like the elemental dragon). After spending some time with him, the other ninjas learn how to properly encourage him to open up and make him gain some self-confidence. When he is not in a stressing situation, Jay acts rather childishly, because he was used to be mothered by his parents and his older siblings, and he is more open about his emotions than others can be, he even has trouble hiding them when necessary.

[sasageyoarmin]

Hello can give dating levi ackerman x reader headcanons please 🙏 ☺

hi !!! i've been wanting to do one of these for a while , so here goes :

*p.s. let me know if you want a more nsfw version in the future ;)

content : levi x reader , just fluff !!

levi ackerman dating headcanons :

•••

levi is definitely one of those guys that has a hard shell on the outside but can be very soft on the inside if he finds the right person, and you happen to be that person

he is a man of very few words around those who he isn't very comfortable with, but he tries to be more talkative around you

even though he may not say much at times, he really does love you and means it when he does express it

levi's love language is acts of service, so you'll often find him doing simple tasks for you, from putting the dishes away to dusting every single piece of furniture

he is genuinely a very sweet person who just wants to make you feel comfortable and attended-to at all times

he will always be there for you if you're struggling mentally, physically, or emotionally

he is actually a decent cook, and you love to watch him prepare all of his new recipes

obviously, levi is a major clean freak, so this plays a large role in your relationship, and it can sometimes cause problems if you tend to leave a messy space or not clean up after yourself

however, communication is key with him; as long you talk it out, there shouldn't be many problems

on the more serious side of things, levi - like most of us - struggles with his mental health at times, so he needs someone to talk to and to understand him

he can often get moments of loneliness, depression, and anxiety, so checking up on him every so often is key

personally, i think levi would struggle with symptoms of ocd or ocpd, and they would affect his daily life at times

for example, needing to be in constant control and doing everything in a strict, orderly fashion is important to him

if he has any compulsive behaviors present, those would make him feel very anxious and overwhelmed

he checks the oven, curling iron, light switches, windows, and the doorknobs multiple times before leaving the house or going to bed, which can be very time-consuming, so work with him

speaking of going to bed, levi finds it very difficult to sleep sometimes due to his insomnia

he's been through a lot and has seen some of the worst things imaginable, so his mindset is "if i don't sleep, i won't be able to have nightmares about those awful moments"

he doesn't like telling you about his insomnia, because he wants to make sure that you get adequate sleep

however, a little bit of tea and consolation may get him to open up to you about his issues

when you two are cuddling, levi's arms tentatively wrap around your waist in a spooning position before you curl into him

he hates being little spoon, as it makes him feel like a vulnerable kid, so that only happens once in a blue moon

if you get periods, he is completely understanding of your symptoms and will always be there to rub your stomach, give you a massage, or even just let you cry into his shoulder

he is very worried for your health when you get sick, as he has lost too many of his closest friends ;(

therefore, he can be overprotective of you (regardless of whether you want that or not) but you know that he has good intentions

also, extremely random but i have a personal hc that levi absolutely loves 80s and 90s rock n roll, like he is such a depeche mode fan

levi loves you so incredibly much, and although he may not say it 10 times a day like some other people (i'm looking at you, reiner), he expresses this love in a multitude of other ways, and always makes sure that you both feel loved .

[bitchfitch]

Everyone knew that the world had ended ages ago and the rot was just taking it's sweet time to set in. The Bright God was dead and decaying with all of its power drifting through life like the sea snow foretelling a whale fall. The boon of its corpse granted the common person magic and power previously held captive by the Bright God's faithfully earthborn hosts.

It was all the sort of thing taught in school, though the fact the world was over was only ever mentioned as a foot note when telling the story of the last of the Bright God's Queens and her slaughter of their deity and how that effected global politics. Because "over" on the divine time scale was a very large unit of measurement on the scale of mortal humans. Fascinating stuff really.

So was how the Old Hosts had this thing happen to them. This thing where as their bodies were infected by the holy parasite they slowly forgot their personhood. Their names went first, then their ability to think of themselves, then their memories then their personality. Piece by piece they were consumed until all that was left was a mouthpiece for the Bright God to use until their body fell apart. Only for the process to begin over again with their next of kin.

Horrible way to go, one of the worst anyone could come up with. Good thing the Bright God was dead, right? Sure the world was a ceramic plate in free fall, but for the hosts, it was good.

It's not like the Bright God had a bunch of siblings who were supposed to be returning to the world they helped build to begin the process of breaking it down again. That's a joke. Of course that's a thing that is an on going problem.

An on going problem that wasn't anyone specific's problem until it was.

The first symptom, the forgetting your name thing, cropped up during a chat with a stunning pre-med at the bar. She'd asked for a name to put to the face, but it just wasn't there. There was no feeling of it being on the tip of the tongue, or like it was removed from the collection of relevant memories, but rather that it had never existed in the first place.

The second one, the loss of self, had happened in the days since and now it has gotten so bad that- well, you can see the problems right? No one told you this story.

[superego-imagines]

OMG it was so nice to read about your blog! I'm on my knees praying to you like a god for some Polka-dot man x reader headcanons. preferably romantic or smut (whatever you feel comfortable writing) I just wanna give him the love he deserves <3

((He's my fucking MAAAAAAAN! I'm so glad other people like him!

Polka-Dot Man Relationship Headcanons SFW + NSFW

SFW Headcanons

So I’m not going to get too into the weeds of how you guys got together because I already covered that in OT3 fic. But suffice is to say that it’s gotta be slow-burn friends to lovers 30k words 40 chapters. So when you finally do start dating you’re already pretty comfortable with each other. In a lot of ways that makes things easy. But knowing when to take it slow and how exactly to transition your relationship from a platonic one to a non-platonic one takes time. You spend the first week or so dancing around each other trying to bait the other into making first moves, like him nudging his hand against yours during a movie, or you leaning in so you can “get rid of an eyelash”. Eventually he breaks and asks to hold your hand and you both hopefully learn that you have to use your words to get what you want!

Living with the virus outside Belle Reeves is difficult. He can’t go more than six hours before the initial symptoms start to show. There's very few safe places for him to expel his dots without major property damage. The safest option, albeit not the most environmentally friendly, is a backyard or a private place in a local park. Anywhere where large amounts of matter can be displaced with little damage to infrastructure. Maybe you can cut a deal with the city's waste management department lol. There's also the physical side effect. As much as he desperately wants to fit in, it can be hard when there's a big glowing hazard sign threatening to burst out of his face. It can make going out in public anxiety-producing, which doesn’t help anything. He was given a more subtle power dampening collar as part of his parole. This helps him sleep through the night but comes with its own unpleasant side effects like headaches and nausea. Not to mention that any sort of medical equipment or restraints are mildly triggering. Like a lot of chronic/long term medical problems, there's no easy fix, you just have to establish care plans, stick to what works and try to be patient when things don't work out.

For related and unrelated reasons, dates can be kind of hard. So many years of only seeing the same four walls until eventually seeing a different same four walls have left him desperate for any and every experience he can. But that can easily swing back the other direction, leaving him overstimulated from all of the noise and bright lights and people all bearing the face that haunts him. He wants to do all the things he could only read about in books or watch on TV when he was younger. He wants to try new foods and go to new places and just have fun for once. But sometimes it’s just too much, especially in particularly loud, crowded, or otherwise overwhelming places. And then that leads to a new wave of frustration and anxiety because he wants so badly to do normal couple things with you but it feels like he always ruins it. He doesn’t of course but it’s hard to not feel frustrated. Though that isn’t to say there aren't plenty of fun things to do together, you just have to work your way up to the big stuff. His favorite date you’ve been on was probably the trip to the aquarium. It was so beautiful and peaceful! Although he did insist that you just move on past the Echinoderm exhibit. Also fun pseudo/at-home dates include Mystery Meal Nights in which you try to find a new take-out place or at least a new food from one of the classics. And, while he won’t instigate it, he does really like dancing with you. He likes it in general, but unless he’s mildly to majorly drunk he won’t dance in public. So you can have little living room dance parties with just the two of you~ He doesn’t dance particularly well, but that just makes it more fun. Dance comes from the heart and that, he has plenty of.

So sort of paralleling the sensory issues I’ve already mentioned. He is simultaneously extremely touch-starved and desperate for affection, but will also sort of out of nowhere get touched-out and just kind of need space. For the first half of his life he was pretty much exclusively around family, and then was put into solitary for most of the rest of it. And now he has you! Someone he loves so so much and wants to hug and kiss and cuddle and all the other things boyfriends are supposed to do. Sometimes it’s just still too foreign and overwhelming, although the longer you two date, the easier it gets and the less often these moments occur. But on the flipside, when he does feel touchy, he might as well be made of Velcro. Every time you cross a new line of acceptable relationship behavior (hand-holding, kissing, etc.), he just adds that to the list of things he’s constantly trying to do. Sometimes he’s just so happy it doesn’t feel real, like he’s going to wake up and it will all be some crazy dream. Nothing in his real life could actually be this nice. He doesn’t articulate it when he feels like that, but you’ll know it by the way his breath shudders when he holds you close, or he holds you extra tight, murmuring an apology in your ear but not letting go. Not yet. Just in case.

NSFW Headcanons

(Under the Cut)

So related to the above, that touch starvation definitely translates sexually. While he eventually mellows out, especially early on in the relationship there's a sort of barely restrained desperation in everything he does. He doesn't ever instigate or suggest something new but the second you suggest or okay something he jumps on it. He just doesn't want to scare you off or push you, even if you want him just as badly. Whenever you're making out, he tries to press as close to you as humanly possible. His kisses are uncoordinated and a little sloppy but his eagerness is sexy in its own right. He's just been so pent up with no outlet or even privacy until now. And he was pining after you for so long. Can you blame him for trying to make up for lost time?

This man is sooooo desperate to please. He's just head over heels in love with you. You've brought so much joy and love to his life, he wants to show you how much he loves and appreciates you. (At a less sexy time, it'd probably be good to talk with him about that feeling of debt and how you love him for who he is, not what he can do for you. But that’s a whole other demon.) So that being said, he’s pretty flexible. While he’s not exactly adventurous, he is open to suggestions. If you want him to take charge, he’ll do his best! Or he’s happy to follow instructions and let you take the lead. Service-Vers. Though, while he’d never ask for it because pleasing you is at the forefront, he’d really enjoy getting to be a pillow prince every once in a while. Just smothered in affection while you take care of everything and spoil him. He’d probably die of happiness.

To be perfectly honest, he’s pretty vanilla. But that’s not a bad thing! He likes gentle, romantic love-making in a bed with the lights dimmed. While he’s not opposed, per say, to trying something new every once in a while, he doesn’t really need anything other than you to make him happy. No matter how many times you two have sex it never gets old or feels less special. If anything it just gets better the more familiar and comfortable he becomes with your body and his own. He likes missionary best but is also a fan of really any position where he can hold you close and see/kiss your face. The one sort of kink he has is praise, though I’d argue everyone likes praise a little. Please tell him how he’s doing and how good you’re feeling. That he’s handsome and good and most of all: that you love him~ He never gets tired of hearing you say it~

[nonspeakingkiku]

System/AAC post time ☺️ (just a note. We are a poly fragmented system with a lot of members and there is overlap with how we communicate.

Different ones of us use different things to communicate.

High tech aac wise Kiku mostly uses Touchchat, Proloquo, and as of recently the semantic pro pageset in TD Snap.

Outside of high tech aac Kiku uses some ASL, noises, gestures, word approximations, and low tech aac (letterboards, core boards, communication cards, and sometimes picture cards). Kiku experiences unreliable speech but honestly Kiku's speech is more likely to be unintelligable to people that aren't our partners/caregivers.

Lavender experiences a lot of unreliable speech (he has estimated around 90% of the body's speech when fae is fronting is not what fae wants to say.) Lavender prefers Proloquo2go set to a large grid size (12x16) with a custom color code (can't remember which it's based off of but verbs are green. Lavender struggles to tell the difference between and see shades of blue sometimes, so there isn't a lot of blue in his setup.)

(Our CVI affects each of us a bit differently (for example, Kiku's easiest colors to see are yellow and green, Lavender's colors are pink, light purple, and red, and Percy's easiest to see colors are blue, red, and yellow.)

Lavender also uses Proloquo4text and recently has been trying semantic pro in TD Snap (we are very nervous about the changes that have been occuring with TD Snap/Tobii Dynavox but this post isn't about that). Lavender experiences a lot of our cognitive symptoms and aphasia (although this might just because they often front the most of the three of us.). Lavender uses one of our letterboards, texting, communication cards, and some asl. Lavender has a hard time remembering that we can use AAC and has only really recently realised how much of faer speech is unreliable.

Percy primarily uses LAMP and prefers high contrast symbols the most of the three of us (high contrast helps us all, especially with text only but Lavender prefers symbol stixx symbols) along with LAMP Percy uses a LAMP core/letterboard, some ASL, gestures, communication cards, picture cards and noises. Of the three of us Percy is the most likely to be completely silent.

We can all use LAMP (we think it's the motor planning aspect, which makes sense) but we each prefer different apps/communication methods.

Outside of the three of us we also have other alters who are AAC users. (a lot of us don't front to the outside world so they might not use AAC). We have two littles specifically who prefer ASL and writing respectively. One, Frisk, prefers ASL, and is mute (he does write when he has to (we only know so much ASL) but he's never happy about it lol) and the other struggles to talk and stutters badly when he tries and he prefers to write. (He has his own note pad but he doesn't front often.

Our AAC system is not perfect, we are still working on getting things to help us communicate, we especially don't have a good solution for when our vision and/or hearing is worse. We hope to get tactile symbols and a tactile keyguard at some point (preferably soon because our it's been a problem and it's getting hotter here which makes our vision worse).

We als want to get an accent at some point with a tactile keyguard and LAMP on it so we will have a dedicated AAC device we can always have a keyguard on.

Thanks for reading.

[lightofraye]

Friday the 15th

Despite the title of this post, no I'm not trying to make a kind of scary Friday the 13th (15th) thing. More... I have a huge life event coming up and the anxiety is getting to me.

It's a natural anxiety. When someone goes through something huge, they react in various ways. For a wedding, for example, it's a tremendous step. If they're 100% certain in that step, it's full of joy and perhap anxiety something will go wrong with the ceremony as opposed to anxiety about the person they're marrying. Moving across country can be anxiety inducing, despite the excitement and prospect of something new experiences.

Then there's surgery. Even the most minor of surgeries can be anxiety inducing because of what could go wrong. When I had a deviated septum fixed, the doctor actually outlined how it was a basic, minor surgery with potential for a lot of bad happening. So, you know, yay?

Now I have a new, terrifying surgery coming up. It's a necessary surgery, one that I had been forced to reschedule due to getting infected with influenza A just mere days prior. I was so sick that I was down and out of work for six weeks. It affected my voice (I still hear it time to time), my breathing, and I still wonder about the lingering symptoms I have. (Hard to tell if it's allergies or lingering influenza, honestly. But all tests say I'm fine, so...)

This surgery had been a long time coming. My doctor and I had been observing the symptoms, the cause of said symptoms, and it was only late last year that I decided it was time. The minor means of dealing with the issue weren't possible because the issue was too large--and those minor means were 1) extremely painful and 2) doesn't stop the issues from coming back.

I'm being very vague. So I'll say it outright now. What's the issue I'm referring to? Fibroids. Uterine fibroids, to be precise.

I had the issue start well over five years ago. Little minor symptoms that kept happening... and then kept staying. To the point where I gave up and tracked down my ob gyn because my mother had those symptoms that led to cervical cancer and I was not going to leave my young son alone to face his abusive father on his own.

Turned out, it wasn't cervical cancer. Or even uterine cancer. (Thank gods.) No... it was a fibroid. A growing fibroid, actually. Already by the time it was detected, a myomectomy was impossible. That'd work for small fibroids, and mine was already beyond the acceptable size. An ablation wasn't possible either, as the fibroid meant spots would be missed and the symptoms would continue.

My ob gyn had to refer me to a different ob gyn for a very simple, frustrating reason: it was a Catholic hospital and any treatment that'd work to stop the issues of the fibroid was against their policies.

Fortunately I found a great ob gyn and she agreed with my other ob gyn. We inserted a Mirena IUD to handle the biggest symptom--ongoing bleeding--and decided to monitor every six months. Every six months, it showed signs of growing. And growing.

Then it... stopped. So we decided that as long as the IUD was stopping the bleeding and I was doing okay, we'd just do a wait and see.

Well... late last year, it was getting worse again. Other symptoms appeared, too TMI for comfort, but let's say the bathroom and I were becoming too well acquainted.

So a hysterectomy was scheduled. It was supposed to have been the first week of April and I got hit with influenza late March. We waited until I felt better and other life events got sorted. We thought I'd be okay.

I was wrong. So very wrong.

I called my ob gyn and said "We need it out. It's getting painful." The fibroid was creating problems that are affecting me body-wide. Minor from weird ass chin hairs that were growing thick and repeatedly, something I never had before. (The fibroid is disrupting hormones on a very wide scale, much like PCOS.) To intense discomfort in my lower abdomen.

What's interesting are the other irrational thoughts happening. It's a discussing having been held before by other women who have also undergone such similar procedures.

Am I any less a woman for losing the uterus? The answer, naturally, is NO. Even if I were to lose my breasts as well as my uterus, I'm still a woman. Because I say I'm a woman. I lose pieces of the body to maintain the whole.

My health will be so much better for the loss of the uterus, especially as the fibroid will be gone and things settle on multiple layers. Hormones will be back to normal (after some disruption). The pain and discomfort will be gone. I presume that weird chin hair that keeps coming back will finally surrender the ghost.

Even so, it's a major life step. A major surgery that, thankfully, has become more routine. We're planning on using the daVinci Surgical System and hope no issues will occur. It's actually outpatient now, which has me stunned.

My daughter and daughter-in-law will monitor me after the surgery. The next few weeks after, I'll have to be careful with even light objects--I won't be allowed to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk. (That's about 8 pounds, by the way.) That'll be frustrating for me, as I do a lot of heavy lifting on the regular.

But my health will be better. Eventually I'll heal. Eventually I'll celebrate no more purchases of hygiene products. I joked we'll have a "Yeet the Uterus" party, but we just might.

I'll never have to worry about unplanned pregnancies again, so that's something. Yes, even at my age, it can happen.

November the 15th is going to be a big day for me.

[covid-safer-hotties]

Why do we have to keep getting COVID? - Published Aug 24, 2024

Nearly five years into life with COVID-19, I find myself selfishly wondering how many more times I – by which I mean, all of us – need to get it before we acknowledge that allowing multiple reinfections poses a very large problem? I thought my second bout of it (or was it my third?) in February, 2023, was tough – that one set me back a few months. But this nasty little bug, which is again surging here, there and everywhere, has bitten me once again, and has been a beast to overcome.

My latest infection – which began in June and is mild by medical standards – surprised me. I’m an active, healthy woman in her 40s. In addition to having been infected previously, I’ve gratefully received every single vaccine offered, including the booster shot only about 18 per cent of Canadians got last fall. I’m not sure I blame those who didn’t rush out in droves to get it. There was little public push to do so, and a general sense that infection after vaccination was okay so long as you’re “healthy.” Continued protection against a virus that makes swift and powerful adaptations is a hard sell when you don’t invest in the power of prevention, too.

Even so, after the fever passed, I spent a month largely confined to my bed, unable to do more than shuffle to my doctor’s office and back. I felt weak and nauseated in a way that made pregnancy queasiness seem quaint. My muscles felt tired or tingling or cold, or all three at once. I was regularly overcome by a sensation that I can only describe as a full-body panic attack, marked by a racing heart and rapid breathing. For weeks, I felt like my internal circuitry was on the fritz. Even my vision was blurred. It remains so.

That blurry-eyed bit has been the hardest postviral symptom to ignore. Nearly two months after my initial infection, I still can’t see clearly. This has proven to be a remarkably distressing and mildly terrifying postviral challenge to navigate.

I’ve written about COVID, so I knew that it was a vascular disease and that infection may have a range of effects on brains, hearts, immune systems and other organs. But it turns out COVID may also be associated with vision changes.

What I can read about this symptom online is far different from the help I can access. No one is quite sure how to deal with this side effect. My doctor recommended I see an optometrist, who was in turn compassionate and understanding but was unsure what to do about this either. I’m waiting for a referral to see an ophthalmologist.

In the meantime, I still need to work – I still want to work – and am figuring out ways to function without anxiety about what may or may not be going on.

I’m not the only one experiencing post-COVID complications in a health care climate that’s struggling to figure out what to do with people like me. About two million Canadians are reportedly experiencing long-term symptoms after an infection. Those numbers can only be expected to increase if we continue to behave as if there are no long-term implications inherent in allowing infections to surge twice yearly. There’s also evidence to suggest that long COVID afflicts more working-age people, i.e. the people who’ve been told it’s okay to work while you’re sick (and, by the way, you don’t have much of a choice).

This growing problem of people who don’t feel well for lengthy periods of time after COVID is also occurring as access to health care has never been more challenging. I feel immensely grateful to even have a family doctor – a privilege around 6.5 million people in Canada can’t claim for themselves.

Even with my compromised vision, it’s clear to me that with governments doing less and less in the face of a complex virus, the multiple knock-on effects of this approach are coming at a high human cost. But who’s counting that cost?

Despite mounting evidence that reinfection is equivalent to rolling the dice, we’ve yet to implement policies known to be effective at helping reduce transmission. I’m not talking about shutting things down. I’m talking about finally and decisively implementing the practical interventions that public-health advocates, epidemiologists, virologists and engineers have been advocating for since 2020: improving indoor air quality, which reduces airborne contaminants; granting workers paid sick leave so that they can rest and not infect others (even during the height of the pandemic, workers only got two paid sick days in Ontario); and instituting meaningful policies during rising periods of transmission.

Mask, stay home when sick, rest – this is the advice we’ve been getting for years. But these are not individual actions to take as much as privileges taken for granted. Kids in schools that operate without such policies or proper ventilation systems are, in Ontario, at the mercy of a Ministry of Education that once saw fit to float the notion that COVID doesn’t transmit in schools at all, and there is a persistent, convenient myth circulating among parents that infection is good for kids – preferable to vaccination, even. (For the record, all my infections came courtesy of my son’s school.)

Seniors in care homes can’t demand care workers be tested regularly for infection or be granted paid sick days or vet the air quality in their care homes. Workers aren’t entitled to paid time off and don’t dictate the terms of safe employment.

Public-health advice means little without policies in place to make it effective.

If the pandemic began with messages of solidarity, it rapidly devolved into reassurances that only the truly vulnerable would experience COVID’s greatest harms. In the shadow of that predatory view of human life, the population of the vulnerable has only expanded. Reinfection raises the risk of finding out how vulnerable you and those around you are, too.

As a new clever variant spreads, it feels wise to ask: How many times is enough to get a virus that – unlike our politicians – understands the power of rapid adaptation?

[maryishappy]

So this might be a stupid question, but how do you know if you’re developing an eating disorder/tendencies?

honestly that’s a really good question!!!

here goes a really informative post with all research made by me:

you may have to look at some behaviors and attitudes like:

- extremely frequent dieting, and control of food becoming primary concern;

- insecure and worry with weight, calories, carbohydrates and fat grams(others too);

- refusing to eat certain foods (fear foods), and restricting against whole categories of food (like carbohydrates, dairy);

- looks uncomfortable eating around others;

- food rituals (eats only a particular food or food group, excessive chewing);

- skipping meals or taking small portions of food at regular meals;

- extreme concern with body size and shape;

-frequent checking in the mirror for perceived flaws in appearance;

- wanting to look unhealthily thin;

- wanting to fast and doing it for unhealthy periods of time (varying from days to weeks).

Now some specific Eds to separate each one! (some may have the same characteristics as others)

4N0REX1A NERVOSA:

- may dress in layers bc of insecurity;

- extreme worry with weight, food, calories, and dieting;

- some make frequent comments about feeling “fat”;

- wanting to have a body weight inappropriate for their age, height, and build;

- presence of packages of l4xatives;

- drinks extreme amounts of water or non-caloric beverages;

- maintains an excessive, heavy exercise routine.

BUL1M14 NERVOSA:

- evidence of binge eating, including disappearance of large amounts of food in short periods of time;

- also evidence of p^rging behaviors, including frequent trips to the bathroom after meals, signs and smells of vomiting;

- presence of packages of l4xatives;

- drinks extreme amounts of water or non-caloric beverages;

- does self-induced v^miting;

- dental problems, such as cavities, discoloration of teeth from vomiting, and tooth sensitivity(bc of the above);

B1NG3 EATING DI1S0RD3R (BED):

- secret recurring episodes of binge eating (eating in a discrete period of time an amount of food that is much larger than most individuals would eat);

- feels lack of control over ability to stop eating;

- feelings of disgust, d3pr3ss1on, or guilt after overeating, or feelings of low self-esteem;

- may steal food;

- evidence of binge eating, including the disappearance of large amounts of food in a short time period.

OTHERWISE SPECIFIED FEEDING OR EATING D1S0RD3R (OSFED):

Because OSFED has a wide variety of eating dis0rd3red behaviors, any or all of the following symptoms may be present in people with OSFED.

- frequent episodes of consuming very large amount of food followed by behaviors to prevent weight gain, such as self-induced vomiting or st4rv1ng (fasting);

- evidence of binge eating, including disappearance of large amounts of food in short periods of time;

- self-esteem overly related to body image;

- extreme dieting behavior (reducing the amount or types of foods consumed);

- expresses a need to “burn off” calories taken in;

- evidence of p^rging behaviors, including frequent trips to the bathroom after meals, signs or smells of vomiting;

- presence of packages of laxatives or diuretics.

AVOIDANT RESTRICTIVE FOOD INTAKE D1S0RD3R (ARFID):

-limited range of preferred foods that becomes narrower over time (like picky eating that progressively worsens);

- fears of choking or vomiting;

-may have no body image disturbance or fear of weight gain.

RUMINATION D1S0RD3R:

- repeated regurgitation of food for a period of at least one month. Regurgitated food may be re-chewed, re-swallowed, or spit out.

Other Food & Behavior Concerns:

ORTHOREXIA:

- cutting out an increasing number of food groups (all sugar, all carbs, all dairy, all meat, all animal products);

- an increase in concern about the health of ingredients;

- an inability to eat anything but a narrow group of foods that are deemed ‘healthy’ or ‘pure’;

- may have body image concerns.

C0MPULSIVE EXERCISING:

- Exercise that significantly interferes with important activities, occurs at inappropriate times or in inappropriate settings;

- intense anxiety, depression or distress if unable to exercise;

- Exercise takes place despite injury or fatigue.

This is just my research and my own and other experiences, if i missed/used wrong information please let me know! 😊

[charitytitter]

Mental Health Update

ARGH! So, In previous posts I disclosed that, since April 2024 my BiPolar symptoms had become difficult to manage. Sleep was getting more and more difficult, medications weren't helping, and their side-effects once even caused me to become hospitalized. I have been a High Functioning individual with BiPolar Type 2 my entire life. For large portions of my life, I have not required treatment... but this all changed in April when I started to have regular lengthy extreme Manic episodes. One such episode caused me to lose my job, and I have been unemployed since.

Then yesterday I was talking to a friend about it while sipping on some "Bai" Coconut water. His ex-GF overheard our conversation, and said "You know, Bai Coconut water has caffeine in it." I turned the bottle around, looked at the label... after several ingredients it lists "Green Coffee Bean", then I googled it. Bai contains 33mg of Caffeine.

I'm kinda furious about this. I started drinking this stuff as a replacement for sugary drinks when I went on a keto diet... starting in April. And now it all makes sense, Because I have a very high sensitivity to caffeine, so I normally avoid it. It gives me headaches, fatigue, brainfog, and it prevents me from sleeping at night. These were all symptoms I was experiencing, in addition to, what I thought was BiPolar Mania. What's even worse, is that almost every medication I've been given since May, in order to treat my BiPolar, has had a warning on the label that advises against consuming Alcohol or Caffeine while taking them.

I'm so mad at the company that manufactures this drink. I wish I could sue them. This drink is marketed as a healthy alternative to other electrolyte drinks. But you know what? Gatorade, Powerade, Smart Water, Pedialite... these drinks don't have caffeine. Why did Bai feel the need to include coffee beans/caffeine in their product?

This shit has severely traumatized me to the point of routine Suicidal Thoughts. It made me worry that I was losing my mind, and that my symptoms would only continue to get worse. I thought I was going to die when I ended up in the hospital over heart problems that one of the medications side-effects caused me.

What a fucked up situation. I'm glad I found the source of the problem (at least I hope my BiPolar goes back to being manageable now that I've cut the Coconut Water out of my diet).