#all of that is only one symptom of a very large problem

[littlestpersimmon]

Hello everyone. I'm absolutely terrified to open up about this, but I am having surgery on my thyroid to remove a goiter that has become very large / given me problems eating and breathing in general. My ocd is going crazy and catastrophizing;, I have been neglecting my health for five years until I experienced some symptoms that terrified me. My dr. Advised me that I will need two types of surgeons, one an ENT and one a thoracic surgeon. I am going to make a formal fundraiser very soon, but I was informed by my Dr. That the overall cost of this surgery (plus recovery) will be around 700,000 pesos- almost 13,000 usd. That is. My wages of three whole years. I am from the global south, in the philippines, and my wages are far smaller compared to my peers in the global north. My insurance is trying to cover around 40,000-80,000 pesos, I am unsure yet. Right now, I am unable to work all three of my jobs because I needed to do a ton of tests and resting, my new meds making me extremely drowsy as I was also diagnosed with type II diabetes and hypertension (?). I still am the only person in my family who can work- my mother is completely unable to move independently due to nerve damage from sepsis, she is legally blind and a full time wheelchair user. my father is very very immunocompromised due to heart disease and kidney failure, and my younger sister is autistic, with a low frustration threshold. Since Early April, I have had no income as I was in and out of the hospital; thanks to everyone's generous donations for my teeth that I am now allocating for this surgery instead, insurance, and my lovely friend Mango's large donation, I have been able to eat well, and cover about 12%-15% of my upcoming surgery's fund. Am trying to build up more breathing room for my gofundme, as it is common practice for philippine hospitals to prevent patients from leaving without having paid in full. I am humbly begging for everyone to please help me, Because I have not been working and will be unable to work for a couple of weeks. this is the most terrifying thing I have ever gone through, and I have been ignoring it for the past 5 years ♡ if you are blessed with disposable income and a generous heart, please send it my way! It means the whole world to me.

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Please say it's going to ok! I cannot do this alone.

[crystalbeetle888]

Second Chances Pt.3

Dog-hybrid 141 x Autistic-coded Reader

Your world is turned upside down, when a stalker forces you to adopt a support-hybrid, leading you to meeting his friends and possibly biting off more than you can chew.

Word Count-

Warnings- no more stalker yippee, alcohol consumption, suggestive content, symptoms of anxiety and depression, getting handsy, first kiss ;P

Master List

The following months were hectic, between packing for the new house, commission work, and keeping John entertained and exercised, you found very little time to just sit down and relax. But that was all gonna change, once you finally moved in to your countryside abode. It was only 40 minutes out of the city, and 10 from a small seaside town.

The change would do you both some good, you could continue to work remotely, with the added luxury of the outside world not overstimulating you, and John could actually retire or find some farm work, as guardian restrictions become more relaxed in rural and less populated areas.

However, there was one problem. It would become more difficult for John to visit his pack members and isolation from their community isn’t good for hybrids, as it can make them antisocial and aggressive.

You didn’t think that would happen to him, but you wanted to make sure anyway, so you bought him a phone and gave him their contact information so they wouldn’t lose touch. Totally not because you were sick of organising their play dates.

The time flew by and before you knew it, you and John were packing up the last of your things into your car, before making the drive out to the property. Your lawyer said that the house was in a ‘reasonable condition’, but you weren’t so sure about that, having never actually seen the house in person.

The dirt road seems to stretch forever, over rolling hills covered in sheep and fields of crop. The road splits the horizon, on your right a deep mysterious forest and on your left fields of green. As you pull around the bend a tall rustic looking house comes into view.

"This must be it" you say, pulling into the driveway. The house was a lovely two stories farmhouse, with white walls and a blue shingles roof. You park on the grass, parallel to the front door.

Hopping out, you ascend the porch before trying the door. Locked. Looking around you notice various plant pots lining entrance.

"Let me", John begins sniffing the air around the plants before settling on one. He lifts it up and underneath is a vintage-looking key.

He looks to you smugly, "Okay, open the door then" you chuckle at him. John rises, inserts the key, and pushes the front door open, dust bellowing up in a large cloud.

"Oh my.." you cough dramatically, covering your mouth with your sleeve, John shielding his face as the dust settles.

Entering the house, the inside is shrouded in darkness. You test the lights, it flickering erratically before finally allowing you to see. The foyer was tall, the stairs to your left follow the wall up to an open walkway. "Looks like we've got some work to do" John gazes around at the thick pelt of dust covering every surface. "Yeah.." you cringe.

Opening all the windows and doors, you begin by aggressively sweeping the floors and dusting all the surfaces. You pull off all the sheets covering the furniture and make a pile outside. Before leading the hose through the bathroom windows and rinsing the entire room down.

Finally able to bring in your belongings, you place them in the living room with a heavy thud. You let out a pained groan as you stretch your back straight, "Should've let me do it" John looks down at you, hand placed on his hips.

"I'm fine, I just twinged my back" you wave him off, before attempting to lift your bag again. John swoops in, lifting it effortlessly "Let me help" he mumbles to you, his breath fanning over your face, tickling your neck.

Your chest swells with fondness, "Thank you" you whisper back.

He nods, before taking your stuff to the master bedroom downstairs. You following close behind him, "You sure you don't want this room?" you twist your hands nervously, not wanting to take something he wanted.

He places your thing on the bed, "Nah, you can have it love. Wouldn't wanna you to have you climbing those stairs everyday, aye" he rubs your upper arm in comfort.

You sigh in defeat "Okay, as long as you're sure", "I am" he gazes down at you warmly. A moment passes between you, not an awkward one, just a something calm and familiar.

John clears his throat, squeezing your arm lightly "You hungry? I'll defrost that lasagna". You nod enthusiastically, stomach twisting in at the thought, "Yes please" you practically beg him. He laughs, tail wagging gently.

After a hot meal you and John decide to test out the hot-tub on the back porch, having had cleaned it earlier. You walk out into the crisp evening air in a two-piece bikini, to find John already in the water. "Does it work?" you tiptoe over. "Why don't you come in and find out?" he say playfully patting the spot next to him.

Walking over, you dip your feet in slowly, the heat causing your skin to prickle. Submerging yourself up to your neck, you groan in pleasure.

"That good huh?", you moan in response.

Sitting up properly, the water falls midway up your chest, the steam heating the rest of you sufficiently.

"You know, I wasn't sure about this place originally, but I think it's starting the grow on me" you keep your eyes shut as you talk to him. He hums in agreement, trying not to stare as your chest rises and falls. Your damp skin glistening in the moonlight, your lips slightly parted, the bikini, GOD the bikini, he was torn between whether it showed too much or not enough. Either way he definitely didn’t want Soap seeing you in it. Horny bastard.

You twist uncomfortably in the water, your back twinging in pain again. “You alright?” John clears his throat, trying to keep his head.

“It’s my back again” you grumble "I just can't seem to get this knot out".

John freezes in thought for a moment, the cogs slowly turning in his head, "I.. could try to get it out?" he leans back against the rim of the tub, acting very casually.

"What, like, massage it out?", "Yeah, if you want" he shrugs.

You pause, weighing your options "Alright sure, just no claws please".

He chuckles at you "Turn around then". You shift, facing away from him.

Scootching up behind you, John tentatively places his hands on your back, firmly massaging the muscles. You sigh contently, as he works at the painful areas. His heart racing as you lean into his touch.

"Is this alright?" he mumbles next to your ear, his deep gravely voice sending pleasant shivers down your spine. You moan weakly in agreement, mind completely relaxed. He continues to work at your back, the sun setting low in the background as you let out a long tired yawn.

"You're not falling asleep there, are you?" he chuckles, his breath tickling your exposed neck. You whine and squirm against him, your body tingling all over. He was borderline teasing you at this point.

Releasing you, John runs his hands along your back soothingly, “Maybe you should head to bed” he suggests. You nod sleepily, yawning as you lumber out of the tub and head inside, “Good night John” you call over your shoulder, “Don’t stay out too late, you’ll catch a cold”.

He chuckles quietly, “Good night love” he calls back to you, receiving a lazy wave in return. John sits in the tub a moment longer, watching as you enter the hall to your room, finally passing out of view, before letting out the puff of air he was holding in.

He then proceeds to turn the hot tub off before stepping out onto the porch, his growing hard-on strains uncomfortably against his board shorts. All that squirming and moaning you were doing, really did a number on him. You’re so sensitive.

John sighs in annoyance, his pointed ears pinning against his skull. The closer he got to you the more… frustrated he became, not at you of course. Just at his dick. He wanted things to develop naturally, but didn’t know how to get that ball moving without scaring you.

‘Humans are so complicated’ he thinks to himself.

Turning off the lights and locking the doors, John creeps upstairs to his bedroom, ready to call it a day. And deal with his growing issue.

Weeks go by, and you and John are going steady in your new house. You were doing well with work and even started going on evening walks with him, now that the world didn’t overwhelm you. And John, started work at a local wool farm, just down the road. The two of you settled in to a new routine easily, however, you've begun to get the feeling that John is unsatisfied with his situation.

It started off small, a flat tone when speaking, grouchiness blamed on missed sleep, disinterest at mealtimes. Then escalated to opting out of movie night, and avoiding to speak for days on end. His behavior made you anxious, making you feel as though it was somehow your fault, despite not knowing what you could have done wrong. So you reached out to Simon for help.

You- Hay, I was just wondering if you could give me some advice? It's in regards to John. S- Shoot. You- He hasn't been himself lately. He seems depressed maybe? Idk he's really disengaged and won't talk to me. Maybe you guys can try? S- I'll talk to the others then get back to you.

You sigh in relief, hoping that they can get to the bottom of this.

You spend the rest of the day food shopping in town, before returning home to make dinner. Barbeque pork ribs with a cheesy vegetable bake. Something John had enjoyed you cooking before.

You work away in the kitchen, anxious for his arrival. Finally, as you're setting the table, he arrives home,"You're back, I'll just plate up and then we can eat..", “Don't bother setting one for me love" he mumbles.

You freeze in confusion "W-why?" you stutter.

"I ate earlier" he shrugs, "I'm gonna have a shower now, stink like shit" he chuckles lightly to himself, before walking off upstairs.

You stand there in shock, the rejection stinging your eyes as your try to fight back tears. Taking a deep breath you attempt to settle your nerves, "Well fuck you anyways, not like I cooked you a nice ass dinner" you whisper frustratedly to yourself.

Returning to the kitchen to serve yourself a plate and eating it by yourself at the table, your thoughts simmering with anger. As your finishing up and packing everything away, you can hear John walking down the stairs "Want me to help with the dishes?" he leans against the doorway to the kitchen. "No, I can do it myself" you dismiss him, refusing to make eye contact. He lingers for a moment before sighing and walking off.

Once the kitchen was clean, you head to your bedroom, passing through the living room as you go. John, siting on the leather couch watching T.V, turns to look at you, "Did you wanna watch something?".

"No, thanks. I'm tired" you mumble as you walk away from him. Entering your room, you curl up on your bed and begin to doom-scroll on your phone.

A message popping up breaks your depressive spell,

S - I’ve talked to the others. We think coming and seeing him will help.

You - That’d be great! When are you free?

You - You think he’s just missing you guys?

S - We are free for 2 nights next week. And yes.

You - Okay, that suits me. I’ll let him know.

S - No. we’ll surprise him.

You - Ahah okay.

The following days were emotional torture. You were excited for the boys to come over, but also still annoyed at John’s behavior. The two of you skirting around each other to avoid conflict. Or maybe it was just you who was avoiding him.

When the day finally arrives however, your mood finally lifts. You go shopping in the morning to prepare for their appetites, catching John’s attention as you lug the bags inside, “You need some help?” He pokes his head in the kitchen. “Nope, I’m good. Thank you” you call back to him, shooing him out of the room.

John couldn’t tell what had changed your mood so quickly, but your energy was contagious. You practically buzzed around the house, cooking snacks and desserts, cleaning around upstairs, setting up the house just nice. It’s like you were nesting. Do humans even do that? He wasn’t sure. Your hormones didn’t smell any different, so it’s not like you were in heat.

He decided just to keep an eye on you, figure out what you were up to. But before he could question you, the rumbling sound of a car echos through the valley. His ears prick at the noise, tail standing on end.

“Someone’s coming” he approaches the front door, peering out of the window. “I know” you reply, walking past him and opening the door, “Surprise!” You cheer excitedly.

John looks outside, the car pulling into the driveway opens its doors, Simon, Kyle, and Johnny hopping out. “Aye Cap, what’s up!” Johnny calls out.

John turns to you “You organised this?” his tail flutters from side to side.

“Yeah? Well.. Simon helped me” you wring your hands nervously. John’s heart burns at the gesture “Thank you love” he grasps you by both shoulders.

The boys pile into the house, bags in hand as they greet their mate. The pack was finally whole again. You flutter back into the kitchen to prepare lunch, a large barbecue complete with sausages, kebabs, burger patties, and an assortment of vegetables and cheeses. You can hear John laughing loudly with his friends, as he shows them around the property and get them settled in their rooms. The pack tramples down the stairs and into the living room, just as you’re taking the platters of food outside. “Need help love?” John practically radiates with happiness, his tail wagging excitedly. “Yeah, you can grab the rest from the kitchen thanks” you call over your shoulder, the boys following you outside.

“That smells great Bonnie” Johnny chases you, practically on your heels.

“We haven’t had a home cooked meal in forever love” Kyle whines, nudging Johnny away from you.

“I think the word you’re looking for is thank you” Simon chastises them, a grumble rumbling from his chest.

The two of them tuck their tails in embarrassment, “Thank you”, “Thank you lass” they say in unison.

You laugh as you arrange the food on the table “It’s all good, I’m just glad you’re all here for John” you wave them off.

John arrives with the last of the food and a case of beer, you all settling down to eat and enjoy the sun. Chatter and laughter fills the backyard, John clearly feeling at home again. The sight filling your heart with joy.

As the day passes, you all gather around the fire pit to watch the sun set and stars emerge, sharing silly stories and fond memories.

"-and that is how I stopped a horny Bear-hybrid from mauling us to death, with nothing but a bottle of rum and my thick guns" Johnny flexes on us dramatically. You laugh at his ridiculousness, the boys cringing at his seriously exaggerated story.

“Anyway.. do you have anyone special in your life?" Kyle redirects the groups attention to you, causing you to flush underneath their gaze. "Ah, no, I'm not very good at that kind of stuff to be honest" you squirm uncomfortably in your seat.

“Leave her alone Gaz” John warns him.

“I’m just asking. You know we’re all still a little curious about you” he grins at you playfully.

“Ah well what do you want to know?” You wring your hands.

“Well I don’t know? What kind of qualities do you look for in a partner?”, “That’s enough Kyle. Don’t bother her with stupid questions” John’s tails stand on end.

“Alright, alright” Kyle throws his hands up in defeat, you laughing nervously.

The tension makes you fidget, an unsettled feeling crawling its way under your skin, “You know.. it’s been a long day, I think I’m gonna call it” you yawn fakely.

“You sure love? Don’t let the boys bother you” John places a reassuring hand on your forearm. “No it’s not that. I’m just tired, you boys have fun though” you grasp his hand, giving it a squeeze, before standing and heading inside for the night.

John turns back to Gaz, ears pinned in disappointment. “Nice one” he grumbles.

“Aye don’t blame me, the bird was tired” he defends himself. John crosses his arms, shaking his head.

“Ack don’t worry about him. He’s just annoyed his girlfriend went to bed without him” Johnny laughs at him. “We’re not dating, or mated” John bares his teeth in warning.

“Seriously? How long is this going to take?” Johnny asks. “Maybe he’s lost his spark” Gaz jests.

“Watch it mate” John warns them again, becoming even more tense. “Alright boys, leave him alone” Simon chastises them, the group falling silent.

“… Are you.. trying to court her?” Gaz asks him seriously. John sighs, wiping his hand down his face, stroking his beard. “She just.. sensitive, and I don’t want to fuck it up” he mumble dejectedly. His pack mates nod in understanding. “I’m sure it’s just a matter of time aye, you’ve got that hybrid charm 'bout ya” Johnny grins at him.

John chuckles shortly “Yeah sure. I think I'm gonna turn it in for tonight, I'll see you boys in the morning" he stands with a grunt. "Night Cap", "Night mate, "Night", they reply.

Once in his room, John lets out a sigh, wondering if it really was just a matter of time, or if you're just not interested in him. He decided just to be patient, and see how things unfold for now. But little did he know his friends were planning something.

The following day, they put it into motion. It started with breakfast, the boys waking up early to make you two a feast, except they brought yours to your bed, surprising you with a delicious poached egg on toast, with bacon and hollandaise sauce. The perfect eggs benedict. This rubbed John the wrong way, as he had never set foot in your bedroom before. And he obviously wanted to.

Next, it was helping you with laundry, despite you saying it was okay and they didn't need to. Johnny turning to look at him as he hangs out your bra, a mischievous glint in his eye he knows all too well.

Then, it was them waiting on you at lunch, insisting you take a break and allow them to cook for you. They bring you food, beer, and anything else you may want.

It’s was like they were making a collective move on you. Providing food, entering your den, touching/scenting your belongings. They were crossing a fucking line.

The last straw was the hot tub. That fucking hot tub. The boys were already in there, soaking their bones in the hot water, when you walked out onto the porch, again in that bikini. Johnny whistling when he catches sight of you, “Look at you lass! Aren’t you a bit Bonnie” his tail wags aggressively. You laugh at them bashfully, slightly drunk from the beers at dinner.

“Come sit here lass” he scootches overs, making a space between him and Simon. John’s ears pressing to his skull in frustration.

Slipping in between the two hulking men, you settle into the hot water, groaning as your muscles relax. “Cozy innit” Simon jokes, you all fitting very snugly against each other in the tub. You laugh, feeing silly from the alcohol.

“Just the way we like it aye?” Johnny grins widely at John, swinging an arm around your shoulder, tugging you in close. You giggle at him, placing a hand on his chest, not noticing the growing tension in the group.

John, finally having a gut-full, lets out a low growl, the water rippling around him as the sound vibrates from his chest. You turn to him in shock, surprised by his aggression, “John?”. He halts the sound, his ears drooping low and shoulders tense as he makes eye contact with you. He shakes his head before stalking out of the tub and heading inside. Your gut twists uncomfortably as you watch him go, “Maybe you should chase after him?” Simon suggests. Not so subtly.

You nod, that’s a great fucking idea, before getting out and chasing after him. You find him in the kitchen, hunched over the counter, his shirtless, muscular back glistening under the lights, “Are you alright?” You approach him cautiously.

He turns to face you, ears lifting in surprise “What are doing here?”,

“I came to see if you’re okay. Are you okay?”,

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine love, you can go back out there” he wipes his hand down his face. Your don’t buy if for a minute. Stepping in closer, you grasp his forearm gently “I don’t want to go back out without you” you whisper to him.

He gazes down at you, searching your eyes for clarity, “What is this?” He mumbles to you, his hot breath fanning across your face. You tilt your head in confusion “What do you mean?”, “Please love, please don’t do that to me” he begs you, his eyes pleading.

“John, I’m not sure what you’re taking about” your heart races at the proximity, your cheeks flushing under his gaze. “I can’t stop thinking about you love, and I know it’s not exactly appropriate given the circumstances but-“ you cut him off with a quick peck on the cheek. Pulling away you cover your mouth in embarrassment, “I’m sorry. It felt appropriate” you squeak, your face blushing hard.

He stares at you in shock, mind completely empty. “Don’t be” he says dead seriously, causing you laugh uncontrollably. Why do you always laugh at the worst of times.

You cover your mouth, attempting to control yourself. “Love? Love” he laughs airily, grasping your shoulders as he attempts to gain your attention. You squeal and laugh against your hand, shaking your head with your eyes closed.

“Come on, look at me lovie” he cradles your head with both hands, forcing your attention back on him, and not your overwhelming thoughts. Opening your eyes and lower your hand you hesitantly gaze into John’s eyes. Eye contact is so uncomfortably intimate.

He goes to say something, it falling short on his tongue. He looks down at your lips before looking back up at you, you nod.

He caresses your face gently “I don’t know how a dog like me could ever deserve someone like you” he whispers to you, your lips brushing together before he finally kisses you. His beard tickles your face. Your hands tracing his bare shoulders as you fall deeper into the kiss.

Separating, but remaining close, you gaze at each other for a moment, stuck speechless by the moment.. before a muffled cheering interrupt you followed by a choking noise. You both chuckle, “Maybe we should go back, make sure Simon doesn’t kill them” you suggest, smiling up at him widely. “Maybe in a minute” he mumbles before going in to kiss you again.

[ppssession]

Change and have fun

Handsome male model Cha is eating a delicious cake received from a lovely follower.

The sweet taste of the cake makes him happy and enjoy the delicious taste he gets.

At that time, he recalled a memory from 13 years ago (Cha is now 26 years old).

13 years ago, Cha was an ordinary young man with a boring life. His face was ordinary and his works were not very outstanding in the eyes of others.

The only fun part about him is that he often lives on social media as a handsome guy, an avatar he seamlessly created using AI.

His image as a handsome man on social media makes him happy, sometimes he feels like he wants to become like the handsome man he created.

One day, he had to be alone when his parents had to work abroad for several years, leaving him alone in his life. Cha felt very lonely because of the society he encountered and the status he had on social media. Cha could only hope that one day he would become the handsome guy he created from AI on social media.

One morning, Cha woke up with a lot of symptoms like never before. He spent the whole day feeling strange pains. That evening, while Cha was standing in front of the screen, playing with his social media as a handsome guy, he felt like he wanted to be a handsome guy again. But suddenly, his body started to change. His arms suddenly became strangely muscular.

At that moment, he was shocked, but before he could stop himself, he felt that this was his chance, he quickly recalled the image of the handsome young man he had created, his figure suddenly changed even more.

His once thin body became more muscular, his chest became more prominent, and his six-pack gradually appeared on his stomach. His legs that were once as dry as wood became bigger. His once ordinary face changed into the face he wanted, becoming the handsome face he had created.

When the process was over, Cha had transformed into the handsome guy in the social network he had created. He went into the bathroom and took off all his clothes. He was shocked to find that he had transformed into the handsome guy he had created with AI.

Cha slowly used his new hands to stroke his different parts exploratively. His beautiful fingers stroked his sculpted body, his handsome face that he was sure would make anyone who saw it fall in love with, his hot neck, his chest that felt hard every time he touched it, his strong six-pack.

He stumbled and fell slowly as his fingers touched his erect nipples, causing his penis to slowly become erect, his hand slowly moved to the core of his body, tingling as the strong hands slowly worshipped it passionately. The swollen head of his cock twitched as it was touched, he wanted more, he wanted more emotion.

Suddenly his dick grew bigger and bigger as he wanted.

The action made him feel even better than before. His voice was moaning in the bathroom lustfully. For a moment, he felt like he wanted more. Suddenly, his moans sounded more manly, causing Cha to almost go crazy when he heard his own moans.

Soon, the rhythm of the tea became erratic, his hard and heavy testicles twitched, his cock trembled and released a large amount of warm white semen, filling the bathroom floor.

After the hot activity, Cha lay back, breathing heavily as a huge wave of happiness came, smiling at the good opportunity in his life.

After Cha changed his body into a hottie for a special reason, he asked his parents to let him play homeschool at home so that his grades would be better, which was not a problem. His parents allowed him on the condition that in addition to his grades being better, he had to go to school in his final year, which was not a problem at all.

In the final year of study, everyone had almost forgotten about Cha's existence. However, everyone was shocked when they met Cha in the final year, and no one knew that this Cha was the same Cha as the bland young man back then.

At that time, 13 years later, Cha was taking pictures handsomely. He was most satisfied with his current life, but what he liked most was that he could transform into a handsome man. “You should see the faces of my parents when they see me for the first time in years and know that I have become a handsome man, hahaha.”

I don't have much to excuse because I'm sooooo busy. It's strange that I should be free at the end of the year. I will definitely start updating the short stories after this, so please stay tuned.

[cripplecharacters]

Hi! I was actually wondering if you all could do a really in-depth post specifically on canes versus forearm crutches. I’ve noticed a couple of the recent asks pertain to it, and I think I myself still have one in the queue related to it, but in all of the posts y’all link us too in your answers to those asks, I have found the information is still very sparse and doesn’t directly compare the two in a lot of detail. I would really really love to see a specific dedicated post that breaks down the differences Between them directly, and goes into a lot more detail about what kind of person might prefer a cane and what kind of person might prefer forearm crutches. Differences in conditions, pain levels, fatigue levels, location of issue on their body, other symptoms, examples of disabilities that might more commonly default to one over the other, all that stuff. I’ve looked through basically all your posts on the subject I can find, and still feel like it’s really only scratching the surface, so if there’s a way y’all would be willing to do one big post on this topic specifically, I know at least I would really love it and I think others would as well! Most of the existing posts are a little too broad and surface level, and while I have found them super helpful as a starting point, I would love to see one that zooms in just on these two mobility aids rather than a broad overview of all types of mobility aids being compared like most of the existing resources y’all have. Seriously love what you all do and I would be extremely grateful for this!

Hey anon, just for you:

On Writing Characters Using Canes vs Crutches

[large text: On Writing Characters Using Canes vs Crutches]

This is a writing advice post that doesn't cover every single possibility because that's too impossible to try and do. It's simplified to be coherent for writers who have little to no experience with these sorts of mobility aids, and I encourage anyone who wants to write a character using either of these to treat this post as a small part of a larger research process. This post will contain generalizations for the purpose of me wanting to actually finish it. This is writing advice, not medical information, nor something you should be applying to real life.

Please keep in mind that a lot of the disability examples will only be shown in a single category because otherwise this would be a comical block of text. So yes, I know that a ton of conditions outside the "chronic pain" category also come with chronic pain, but I want this list to be actually easy to look through.

This will compare the cane (singular stick) to crutches (two sticks). Differences between a singular crutch and two canes will be at the end.

Canes

[large text: Canes]

The most primitive mobility aid that's out there. A wrist-height stick with a handle. An incredible invention. You hold it in your hand (at a rather natural angle) and that's mostly it - it's meant to follow a standard (left leg forward, right arm forward) gait and be a support meant for generally milder mobility issues. A cane can take up to 25% of body weight, so like half of what a leg does.

As a TLDR, here's what they could be:

One leg unable to bear the entire weight (but not completely unable) - this could be a result of a problem anywhere from the bottom of the foot all the way to the hip.

Milder balance problems - largely neurological, so either a condition that affects the brain, the spinal cord, or the nerves in the leg. There are also some autoimmune, respiratory, and cardiovascular causes as well, plus a few more.

Back/trunk problems, most commonly pain.

To use a cane you need two legs, most people who use canes for leg reasons will have a “good leg” and a “bad leg”. If this is the case, you'd typically hold the cane on the good leg side, as that redistributes the weight - and pain - between the bad leg and the cane.

The good leg needs to be able to bear the whole weight comfortably, the bad leg needs to be able to bear, at the very least, half of the weight. If the disability affects legs to the point where either:

both have problems weight-bearing;

one can't bear weight at all (e.g., amputation, flaccid paralysis, pain too severe);

then two crutches (or other mobility aid, like a wheelchair) would be the move. The cane doesn't replace an entire leg and is meant to be a minor support.

Examples of what would cause someone to use a cane:

Monoplegia or hemiplegia that is spastic (rigid) in the leg. This could be a result of stroke, traumatic brain injury, cerebral palsy, multiple sclerosis, nerve damage, Brown-Séquard syndrome, polio, encephalitis, transverse myelitis, progressive multifocal leukoencephalopathy, alternating hemiplegia of childhood, hemiplegic migraines, or being a hemispherectomy survivor. And many more things.

Chronic pain; arthritis, hypermobility spectrum disorders, chronic patellar instability, h-EDS, neuropathy, peripheral artery disease, past injuries (e.g., broken foot that healed incorrectly), systemic lupus erythematosus, joint replacement, chronic bursitis, and a lot more.

Relatively minor fatigue - most fatigue disorders will be on a wide spectrum, and people's symptoms often vary a lot. But a cane could help with fibromyalgia, Charcot Marie Tooth disease, POTS, scoliosis, severe kyphosis/lordosis, COPD (and other respiratory conditions), or milder forms of CFS/ME. Someone undergoing chemotherapy (or taking some other fatigue-causing medication) could also use one.

Muscle conditions, which are an even bigger spectrum. Spinal muscular atrophy type 3 and 4, early Limb-Girdle muscular dystrophy, tibial MD, Becker MD, or early myotonic dystrophy type 2 can all be reasons to use a cane. Keep in mind that these have drastically different presentations from person to person, and it's not entirely unusual for two people with the same kind of muscular dystrophy to use very different mobility aids (e.g., a tilt-in-space powerchair vs ...no aid at all). These are just the ones where I'm aware of a person who 1) has it, 2) uses a cane, even if it's not the most common aid.

Prosthetic leg on one side; usually below knee (high level amputees will more often go for crutches, even if they use a prosthetic).

The second biggest reason why people use a cane is balance. For this the cane can be held in either hand; some people have a preference, generally for the non-dominant hand for convenience - although many people with balance problems will also have a coordination disorder that might make using their non-dominant hand too difficult. Some people will switch the side they hold it on.

For a lot of people with balance problems, a cane might be the aid they use at home, and use a rollator or a wheelchair outside.

A good cane for balance purposes is a quad cane - it has four legs at the bottom and offer more stability than the single point equivalent. However, the larger base might also mean that for some people it can be easier to hit it with their foot, which ranges from annoying to dangerous.

Examples of disabilities that affect balance;

Many of the things included in the first section - primarily those that directly affect the brain or nerves.

Conditions that cause vertigo - again, many of the same things as before because a lot of them tend to originate in the brain. So other than aforementioned meningitis or stroke and the like: Ramsay Hunt syndrome, migraines, basically any sort of brain damage, POTS, Meniere's disease, labyrinthitis.

Respiratory problems, like chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, severe asthma, or lupus.

Coordination disorders - again, a lot of overlap with aforementioned disabilities, so I'll skip to things I haven't mentioned yet. Ataxia could be caused by a lot of things; some include the Chiari malformation, ataxia-telangiectasia, Friedrich's ataxia, Parkinson's, brain tumors, or Niemann-Pick disease. Dystonia is usually a primary condition rather than being caused by other things (although it can be). Dyspraxia is also a coordination disorder generally milder than ataxia, and canes can be potentially helpful for it as well.

As mentioned before, some coordination disorders will affect the upper limbs as well, and it might be too difficult to use a cane. For disabilities like Huntington’s disease, or ataxia that significantly affects the hands, rollators and wheelchairs tend to be more helpful.

Anything that causes the person to fall. Fall risk is the primary reason people use canes.

A cane can also be used for back/trunk issues. One can lift off some weight of the body from above the Problem by putting the weight on the arm instead. I have really severe kyphosis as well as (partial) trunk muscle atrophy/coordination problems and quite literally can't straighten my back for more than a few minutes at most - my cane allows me to do that more easily and without needing to think about it as much.

Examples of some conditions that cause that include;

sciatica;

degenerative disk disease;

past spine injury;

scoliosis or severe kyphosis/lordosis.

In my experience, you need fairly good arm strength to use a cane comfortably. For people with more significant weakness in upper limbs, rollators tend to work better.

Grip strength is also important; there are canes designed to mitigate this (the platform cane/crutch comes to mind) but they're not the most common because often (not always) when someone has this issue they already require a larger mobility aid.

Canes are often a "starting" mobility aid, i.e., a person starts using it at first but later transitions to using something else as their disability progresses (or they realize that it wasn't adequate in the first place, it mostly happens with slowly progressive conditions - when they decide to get a cane, it's often just too late). A cane can be useful at the very start of an onset of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, but it's basically worthless beyond that.

Similarly (kind of), a cane can be the "smaller" mobility aid for someone who uses multiple of them at the same time. Someone dealing with fatigue could use a cane at home, but need a rollator for going out, or a wheelchair for longer trips. Another person could use a cane when going out with a prosthetic leg on, but use a wheelchair or crutches at home when not wearing the prosthetic.

Crutches

[large text: Crutches]

These are more complex and provide more help. Crutches directly affect your gait depending on the exact disability, and take away both hands. They can potentially take up to 100% of body weight for parts of the walking cycle if you have good upper body strength and balance, and 50% otherwise (so, one good or two half-good legs still required).

Crutches are used for a lot of things (realistically too many to cover here) so I'll just go with the main categories that encompass most of them.

A) Both legs can't fully bear weight;

The same things as in the cane section, but present on both sides rather than one.

Hypotonia; can be caused by thousands of things. Some include Down syndrome, Tay-Sachs syndrome, achondroplasia, being born prematurely, brain damage, and congenital hypothyroidism.

Paraplegia that's low-level and/or incomplete, or quadriplegia that's incomplete. Quadriplegia is a huge spectrum as well, and it will depend on the amount of strength and flexibility that the individual person has in their arms and hands.

Bilateral amputation with prosthetics. (Someone who can bear weight no problem but has a milder balance problem could use a cane instead.)

B) One leg can't bear any or a lot of weight;

The same things as in the cane section, they're basically all on a spectrum, so some people choose a cane and others choose crutches.

Unilateral amputation, or congenital limb difference.

Limb length discrepancy where it doesn't touch the ground or barely does so.

C) Significant balance issues;

Same things as for canes, but either more severe or just someone's personal preference.

D) Back/trunk pain;

Same as C).

Additional note based on things I have seen: you can't use crutches if you have no legs and no prosthetics. You can't walk literally just on crutches. You need at least a single leg or prosthetic.

(Yeah I'm aware that there's probably a guy somewhere who does tricks where he does exactly that for a short video. That's Crutches Georg and he should not be counted because 99.9% of crutches users won't be doing that ever.)

Crutches will provide much more stability and relieve more pressure than a cane, but there is a wide range of the amount of support depending on how they are utilized.

What the disability is can actually present itself in the person's gait - there are a few main ones that are associated with crutches;

Four-point. The two legs and two crutches work as four different points of support, and three of them are in contact with the ground at any time. A lot (not all) of people who use it will use crutches full-time and/or not be able to stand without them. The most stable and the slowest out of all of these.

Three-point. Probably the one most people have in mind when thinking crutches. The crutches both move at the same time, along with the bad leg, then the good leg follows. This is the "broken leg in a cast" way of walking.

Two-point. The closest to how non-crutch users generally walk. It's like having a cane on each side; left crutch forward, right leg forward. Fairly fast.

Step-to. The crutches work as one point of contact, and the legs as the other - both of each will move forward at the same time. In the step-to, a person puts their feet at the crutches' height. Fairly fast as well.

and step-through. I'd say the most difficult, least stable, providing the least amount of support. The same as in step-to, both crutches go forward before both legs, however here the legs get swung through them while the person is only holding up on crutches. This is the fastest that it gets, and can definitely be faster than an abled person walking. You can run quickly like this.

If you have issues visualizing them, there are a lot of great demonstrations on YouTube that you can look up for clarification.

There are a lot of subtle differences in which one people end up using, but as a rule of thumb, the more balance they lack, the more points of support they need. To provide some examples;

a person with quadriplegic cerebral palsy might lack balance and coordination, so they might use a four-point gait.

A person with one-sided tarsal tunnel syndrome can walk with a three-point gait, as it can be used to mitigate weight-bearing fully or partially - if the pain gets worse, they can just not touch the ground with that leg.

A person with incomplete thoracic spinal cord injury could also work with a three point gait, though they would put both legs on the ground. If someone has good strength in the arms and trunk, they can get both crutches in the front along with one leg, then try to get the second one to go forward as well. This is how a lot of crutch users with a disability affecting two legs, but with decent balance and upper body strength, walk.

A person who had a traumatic brain injury and now experiences balance problems but not as much leg issues could opt for a two-point gait. It does help with weight redistribution, but primarily provides a lot of balance.

Both step-to and step-through are primarily used by single-leg problem havers (like unilateral amputees) in my experience, but I've seen people with diplegia or incomplete low-level spastic paraplegia use it too. You need very good balance and good upper body strength. I've seen dudes do backflips and ride skateboards on crutches like this. You can run as well and be way faster than you think.

The same as canes, crutches require arm strength. The more you're looking to take away from the legs, the more will go to the shoulders. If someone doesn't have the needed arm strength, a rollator will be more helpful. Walkers not so much as they still require some strength to turn.

More Direct Comparisons

[large text: More Direct Comparisons]

The differences between pain and fatigue levels might be somewhat evident from comparing the sections above - to generalize the subject as much as possible: the bigger the pain or the fatigue, the higher possibility of using crutches over a cane is. They provide more relief for both, as well as providing more balance.

Now, there's always exceptions. Someone might not be able to use two sticks, because of a disability affecting one of the arms - hemiplegia is a common example. In this case, the person could prefer to use a single crutch rather than two. They could opt for platform crutches, which don't require as secure of a grip. They might need a rollator instead. They might have a powerchair that they operate with their good arm.

Another thing is that some people will use crutches even if a cane would work just as well. Some people like the grip more, or find them easier to use. They could also like that crutches are seen as more medical than a cane, which could be seen as a fashion accessory. Maybe they can be faster on crutches than with a cane (e.g., if their disability is limited to a single leg, getting it out of the walk cycle might be more convenient) and that matters to them.

And to go with this, some people just don't like crutches. I personally don't like the forearm cuff because I tend to swing my wrist around with my cane rather than hold it perfectly straight, so the cuff seems annoying. For someone else that could be more than a preference, e.g. if they have a limb difference that affects the length of their forearms to be much shorter - a person like this could prefer two canes.

As to what mobility aids are better for which disabilities, it's highly individualized, but to heavily generalize again: canes tend to be more helpful for relatively milder disabilities, and crutches for relatively more significant ones based on the amount of support they provide. But that's an oversimplification so simple that it's not really useful.

Someone with neuropathy in parts of their foot might find a cane completely sufficient, but it wouldn't be as useful for someone with nerve damage that caused flaccid paralysis from the hip down; they would probably prefer crutches. But then again, someone with mild vertigo could use crutches because they prefer them (even if a cane would work just fine) while someone else might have incomplete C6 quadriplegia and use a cane with leg braces over crutches because they enjoy having a free hand.

For more similarities between the two; overuse injuries can happen to both cane and crutch users, generally in the shoulder(s). They're not very common unless you're putting more weight on them than you're supposed to. They're very annoying because it drastically tanks your mobility until they get better (unless you can walk without them just as much that is), but they're treatable with physical therapy.

Now for the two canes and a singular crutch. Let's start with the fact that the latter is infinitely more popular than the former. It's basically the same as a single cane but more supportive; it's good for people who need more balance than a cane provides but can't use both hands. Two canes is very rare and I can't tell you what the actual pattern of choosing them over other options is outside of personal preference because I have no idea.

The general conclusion of the post is that crutches and canes really aren't that different, and are more of a spectrum of usable sticks by the amount of support they provide to the user. That's why often you'll see canes and crutches listed as the same thing when it comes to "management of XYZ disability" type resources - for a lot of them they're rather similar in practice, especially when compared to rollators, walkers, scooters, or wheelchairs.

I hope this was more in depth and therefore more helpful, if this still leaves you with some unanswered question feel free to reach out again.

mod Sasza

[fandommothfreak]

Imagining a shamelessly self-indulgent fanfic where Vi gets transported to the Everything's Happy Universe, somehow finds out she died there and that her family survived, assumes she's the cause of everything bad ever, and goes rogue.

Like she doesn't think she can go back home because she's scared that her presence will fuck things over for everyone. And she also can't risk interacting with the alternate versions of her family that she has here (despite how much she wants to), because what if that screws up their timeline and everything goes to shit for them too? She has nothing and no one, and she's not going to kill herself, so she ends up just -- doing what she was doing in her home dimension. Gets a crap apartment, joins an illegal fighting ring, and wallows in her misery.

It's like that for a few weeks, months maybe, before Vander finds her passed out in an alleyway. A black-haired girl that resembles his dead daughter so strongly it feels like his heart gets ripped open all over again, and she's hurt and she's not waking up, and he needs to help her. So he takes her inside, dresses her wounds, and cleans her face (the black paint covering her VI tattoo holds strong). Maybe he tells Silco, gets him to help. Maybe Vi wakes up to the monster that hurt her family, like, checking her temperature or something.

So she punches him in the face, obviously, and Vander comes barging in at the commotion, and Vi freaks the fuck out. She's trapped; tiny room, no windows; Vander -- Vander, her dead father -- is blocking the door; Silco is three fucking feet away from her in the same goddamn room and was just doing who-knows-what to her unconscious body; and Vi? Vi is mid-panic attack, searching for escape, not listening to a fucking word coming out of Vander's mouth. She needs to get out. She needs to get the fuck away before she fucks everything up for everyone and she needs these people to stop looking at her.

Vander and Silco, of course, both see that she's terrified. Silco backs up, gives her space, and Vander holds his hands up, palms out, trying to signal that he's not a threat. He tries to explain what's going on, that no one here is going to hurt her, but that's not what she's worried about, and as soon she spots an opening -- as soon as Vander takes that small step towards her, leaving space between him and the door behind him -- Vi books it. Shoves right past him, up the stairs, and out of The Last Drop, ignoring the startled shouts behind her. (Maybe Powder sees her go. Maybe she, too, is torn up inside by the striking resemblance to her older sister.)

She gets back to her place. She gets back to the shitty little life she's built in this world. And she prays that's the end of it.

It's not.

Vander has imprinted on this girl. She's a stray, like Mylo and Claggor were strays before he took them in. And she's hurting, like (his) Vi and Powder were hurting before he dropped his gauntlets and carried them away from the battlefield. He wants to help her, if he can. Not only that, but she was beat to absolute hell, and he needs to know who did it and why, just in case it's the symptom of a larger problem that needs to be addressed.

So Vander asks around. Silco helps. And Vi may be trying to keep a low profile, but she's still Vi. She wins nearly every fight she's thrown into in the pits, and when she sees someone in real trouble, she steps in. She's hardly invisible, and she ends up kind of making a name for herself, unintentionally. It's not incredibly difficult to find her -- not for them, and not for this universe's Powder, Ekko, Mylo, and Claggor, who find out one-by-one about this random runaway emo chick that broke Silco's nose and kicks ass in a very illegal underground fighting ring.

But here's the thing: the fighting ring Vi's a part of is kind of... inhumane. But Vi doesn't fully realize it because she spent a large portion of her formative years in Stillwater, which was significantly worse. She's fine with being mistreated -- low-key feels like she deserves it, even. The issue comes in when she breaks out of her depressive haze enough to notice the younger, decidedly less deserving recruits getting the same treatment she is. I don't know any of the specifics of the situation, but I do know that I want Vi stepping up and putting herself in the line of fire to protect the people around her. She's a protector at heart, and she's found a tiny piece of herself again.

And what ends up happening is Vi gets progressively more frustrated as her undead dad, his not-husband, and a terrifyingly well-adjusted version of her estranged sister keep trying to track her down and succeeding. And then Ekko joins in on the efforts, and then Claggor, and Mylo, and even Benzo, until she's desperately trying to dodge her entire, irritatingly persistent not-family while also keeping the people she's unwittingly grown to care about safe from the Unspecified Bad Guys controlling the Unspecified Bad Situation in the fighting pits.

I don't have any concrete plot for this or dialogue or anything. It's just vibes. The kiddos thinking Vi is cool as fuck and the dads trying to adopt this feral not-really-a-kid-anymore-but-when-you're-that-old-everyone-looks-like-a-baby child and Vi being unwillingly absorbed into this new found family that hurts to look at because this is what her own family could have been if she hadn't fucked it all up.

tl;dr Vi is a skittish, battered stray cat, and AU!Vander and co. are trying to lure her to safety with treats and affection.

[drdemonprince]

difficult question. how do i know if my sexual expression as a child is a symptom of repressed sexual trauma or of autistic hypersexuality

The real answer is that you will never know and that it does not matter.

It is impossible to create a clone of you and run that alternate version of yourself through a completely difference childhood with far less trauma, and see if that child still goes on to develop the fetishes that you have. That kind of experiment is what would be necessary to rule out potential "causes" of your kinks.

We only live one life, and that life is shaped by a vast array of experiences: abuse, neglect, love, longing, unmet need, aspiration, neurodivergence, media exposure, social conditioning, environmental change, and random chance. There is no separating the you who was sexually abused from the you who is Autistic from the you who has kinks. They are one and the same, and they all deserve to enjoy themselves.

Perhaps you think your kinks would be more permissible if you got into them for trauma recovery reasons? That simply isn't true. People are allowed to feel good in their bodies, and to enjoy fantasies that are strange or dark. Maybe your sexual fantasies disturb you, and therefore you think they must indicate something is wrong with you? That's just not true. People get into strange or dark things for any number of reasons, largely unknowable to us, and the only problem with that is the shame we are made to feel about it. The desire has nothing wrong with it at all.

Whether you are into rapeplay, sadism, intoxication, age regression, feral, diapers, predator/prey, home abduction, or anything else, it's a part of you that you feel very deeply and there is nothing wrong with it. There's no making it go away. There's no making it any less a part of yourself. Find ways to nourish and delight in that part of you. It can help heal the others as well.

[shithowdy]

Your tags on the 'hormones' post are illuminating! I can only imagine how hard it is to keep desperate, entitled people from hurting themselves when their need is so high for help but their finances (or reluctance to trust Big Medicine) relegate them to seeking that help from supplements. It's kind of how I feel about pet products: I was the lead on customer care for a Big Brand for like 4 years and I'm scarred for life. All that to say, your viewpoint on it is one I tend to look for when I see those essential oils/vitamin/fad supplements posts come around so thanks for sharing!

Yeah, even when they can be really self-righteous and weird about it, it's hard to not still think of people deep in the alternative medicine bog as victims. Despite largely being a monetary grift that at best does very little and at worst poisons you, miracle supplements are still an accessible grift to most people. In America particularly where healthcare is hidden behind not just financial but often also bureaucratic barriers, it's easy to lose faith in the system and turn to something that promises to fix what ails you and all you have to do is drive to the crunchy grocery store once a month and pay them $50.

Of course, the people refusing to regulate dietary supplements are the exact same ones refusing to do anything about the medical insurance industry, cashing out on both ends of the problem. It takes complete advantage of how many hurdles you have to go through by design, and that doesn't even touch on the shaky faith many minorities have in particular surrounding medicine for completely different systematic and legislative failures. Historic trauma (from James Sims' experiments, to Tuskegee, to Henrietta Lacks, and everything in between) combined with an enduring and overwhelming dismissal by doctors regarding symptoms has sown mistrust in pharmaceutical medicine among many black americans, leaving their communities particularly vulnerable to miracle cure grifts (irish sea moss is a big one right now). The proliferation of wellness MLMs among church congregations also helps to easily seed these beliefs in many minority communities, where community pressure is high and language/economic barriers make researching the claims a hurdle itself.

We often think of gaunt white women with birkenstocks and an ominous rictus as who mostly falls into the alternative wellness pit but that's honestly because they're usually the ones selling it on social media. Their audience, the ones who came to me showing me their tiktoks and asking if I sold this miracle pill, were largely minorities over 50 years old, usually women. The people who slip through the medical cracks the most.

And like... it's not going to change unless the process of getting proper healthcare stops being the arcane fucking ritual it's become, and education for doctors of all economic classes becomes more accessible. And unfortunately, as I post this on Jan 21 2025, I know it will only get worse before it gets better.

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved on our archive

A study reveals subtle, lasting cognitive impacts in healthy individuals following COVID-19 infection, highlighting the need for precise cognitive testing in future research.

A new analysis from Imperial College’s COVID-19 human challenge study has identified subtle changes in memory and cognition among healthy volunteers who were infected with SARS-CoV-2. These changes persisted for up to a year after infection.

Researchers noted that, despite the differences, all scores remained within the normal range for healthy individuals, and none of the participants reported lasting cognitive symptoms like brain fog.

Cognitive Impacts in Controlled Conditions The study, published in eClinical Medicine, found small but measurable differences in cognitive performance between 18 young, healthy participants who contracted the virus and those who did not, all monitored under carefully controlled conditions.

The team explains that incorporating such sensitive cognitive testing into future studies could help reveal more detailed insights into how infections may alter brain function and could help to find ways to reduce these processes when they cause symptoms.

Challenges and Methodologies Senior author Professor Adam Hampshire, from the Department of Brain Sciences at Imperial College London and now based at King’s College London, explained: “We know that COVID-19 can have lasting impacts on our memory and ability to carry out common cognitive tasks. However, much of the scientific evidence we have comes from large studies based on self-testing and reporting, or where there’s a range of variables that could increase or reduce these effects.

“Our work shows that these cognitive effects are replicated even under carefully controlled conditions in healthy individuals – including infection with a comparable dose of virus – and further highlights how respiratory infections can impact specific aspects of brain function.

“We were only able the detect some of these effects because of the trial design, which used very sensitive tests and controlled conditions, with participant performance compared to their own pre-inoculation baselines. This enabled us to pick up on subtle changes of which the participants themselves appear not to have been aware.”

COVID-19 and Cognition Previous studies that included patients with a wide range of severities have shown COVID-19 can have a lasting impact on people’s brain function. One such study, led by Imperial and involving more than 140,000 people, found small deficits in the performance of cognitive and memory tasks in people who had recovered from COVID-19, with differences evident a year or more after infection.

In the latest study, researchers analyzed findings from a small group of healthy volunteers who were part of the world’s first human challenge study for COVID-19 in 2021. The findings reveal subtle differences in how they performed on the same tests, which lasted up to 12 months although later testing could have been affected by other and later factors.

Human Challenge Study Design and Results During the trial, 36 healthy, young participants with no previous immunity to the virus were infected with SARS-CoV-2 and monitored under controlled clinical conditions. They were carefully monitored and remained at the facility until they were no longer infectious. From the group, 18 participants became infected and developed mild illness, one without symptoms.

Participants also performed sets of tasks to measure multiple distinct aspects of their brain function, including memory, planning, language, and problem-solving, using the Cognitron platform. Participants took the tests before exposure to the virus, during the two weeks they spent in the clinical facility, and then at multiple points for up to a year.

Analysis showed that those who became infected with SARS-CoV-2 had statistically lower cognitive scores than uninfected volunteers – compared to baseline scores – during their infection as well as during the follow-up period. The main differences in scores were seen in memory and executive function tasks (including working memory, attention, and problem-solving).

Lasting Impacts and Future Research Directions Differences in scores between groups were seen up to one year after infection, with the uninfected group performing slightly better on tasks overall.

The researchers note that the observed differences were small and that none of the volunteers reported prolonged cognitive symptoms. They also highlight limitations of the study, including the small sample size and that the majority of participants were white males, and so caution is needed in extrapolating the findings to the general population.

They explain that future research could examine the biological links between respiratory infection and cognition in COVID-19, and even show how this impact compares with other conditions, such as Respiratory syncytial virus (RSV) or influenza.

Co-author Professor Christopher Chiu, from the Department of Infectious Disease at Imperial College London, who led the COVID-19 human challenge study, said: “These latest findings from our study add more fine detail to the picture we have of COVID-19 and other respiratory infectious diseases.

“Challenge studies can offer a tool to help us better understand how infections disrupt a range of biological functions. Here, by showing biological effects that fall below what could be considered symptoms or disease, we were able to identify the smallest changes in these pathways. This could ultimately help us to develop new treatments to reduce or even block some of these effects, which we know in other settings can have lasting impacts on people’s lives.”

Reference: “Changes in memory and cognition during the SARS-CoV-2 human challenge study” by William Trender, Peter J. Hellyer, Ben Killingley, Mariya Kalinova, Alex J. Mann, Andrew P. Catchpole, David Menon, Edward Needham, Ryan Thwaites, Christopher Chiu, Gregory Scott and Adam Hampshire, 21 September 2024, eClinicalMedicine. DOI: 10.1016/j.eclinm.2024.102842 www.thelancet.com/journals/eclinm/article/PIIS2589-5370(24)00421-8/fulltext

This study was funded through the UK Vaccine Taskforce of the Department for Business, Energy and Industrial Strategy (BEIS).

The work was supported by the NIHR Imperial Biomedical Research Centre.

[superego-imagines]

OMG it was so nice to read about your blog! I'm on my knees praying to you like a god for some Polka-dot man x reader headcanons. preferably romantic or smut (whatever you feel comfortable writing) I just wanna give him the love he deserves <3

((He's my fucking MAAAAAAAN! I'm so glad other people like him!

Polka-Dot Man Relationship Headcanons SFW + NSFW

SFW Headcanons

So I’m not going to get too into the weeds of how you guys got together because I already covered that in OT3 fic. But suffice is to say that it’s gotta be slow-burn friends to lovers 30k words 40 chapters. So when you finally do start dating you’re already pretty comfortable with each other. In a lot of ways that makes things easy. But knowing when to take it slow and how exactly to transition your relationship from a platonic one to a non-platonic one takes time. You spend the first week or so dancing around each other trying to bait the other into making first moves, like him nudging his hand against yours during a movie, or you leaning in so you can “get rid of an eyelash”. Eventually he breaks and asks to hold your hand and you both hopefully learn that you have to use your words to get what you want!

Living with the virus outside Belle Reeves is difficult. He can’t go more than six hours before the initial symptoms start to show. There's very few safe places for him to expel his dots without major property damage. The safest option, albeit not the most environmentally friendly, is a backyard or a private place in a local park. Anywhere where large amounts of matter can be displaced with little damage to infrastructure. Maybe you can cut a deal with the city's waste management department lol. There's also the physical side effect. As much as he desperately wants to fit in, it can be hard when there's a big glowing hazard sign threatening to burst out of his face. It can make going out in public anxiety-producing, which doesn’t help anything. He was given a more subtle power dampening collar as part of his parole. This helps him sleep through the night but comes with its own unpleasant side effects like headaches and nausea. Not to mention that any sort of medical equipment or restraints are mildly triggering. Like a lot of chronic/long term medical problems, there's no easy fix, you just have to establish care plans, stick to what works and try to be patient when things don't work out.

For related and unrelated reasons, dates can be kind of hard. So many years of only seeing the same four walls until eventually seeing a different same four walls have left him desperate for any and every experience he can. But that can easily swing back the other direction, leaving him overstimulated from all of the noise and bright lights and people all bearing the face that haunts him. He wants to do all the things he could only read about in books or watch on TV when he was younger. He wants to try new foods and go to new places and just have fun for once. But sometimes it’s just too much, especially in particularly loud, crowded, or otherwise overwhelming places. And then that leads to a new wave of frustration and anxiety because he wants so badly to do normal couple things with you but it feels like he always ruins it. He doesn’t of course but it’s hard to not feel frustrated. Though that isn’t to say there aren't plenty of fun things to do together, you just have to work your way up to the big stuff. His favorite date you’ve been on was probably the trip to the aquarium. It was so beautiful and peaceful! Although he did insist that you just move on past the Echinoderm exhibit. Also fun pseudo/at-home dates include Mystery Meal Nights in which you try to find a new take-out place or at least a new food from one of the classics. And, while he won’t instigate it, he does really like dancing with you. He likes it in general, but unless he’s mildly to majorly drunk he won’t dance in public. So you can have little living room dance parties with just the two of you~ He doesn’t dance particularly well, but that just makes it more fun. Dance comes from the heart and that, he has plenty of.

So sort of paralleling the sensory issues I’ve already mentioned. He is simultaneously extremely touch-starved and desperate for affection, but will also sort of out of nowhere get touched-out and just kind of need space. For the first half of his life he was pretty much exclusively around family, and then was put into solitary for most of the rest of it. And now he has you! Someone he loves so so much and wants to hug and kiss and cuddle and all the other things boyfriends are supposed to do. Sometimes it’s just still too foreign and overwhelming, although the longer you two date, the easier it gets and the less often these moments occur. But on the flipside, when he does feel touchy, he might as well be made of Velcro. Every time you cross a new line of acceptable relationship behavior (hand-holding, kissing, etc.), he just adds that to the list of things he’s constantly trying to do. Sometimes he’s just so happy it doesn’t feel real, like he’s going to wake up and it will all be some crazy dream. Nothing in his real life could actually be this nice. He doesn’t articulate it when he feels like that, but you’ll know it by the way his breath shudders when he holds you close, or he holds you extra tight, murmuring an apology in your ear but not letting go. Not yet. Just in case.

NSFW Headcanons

(Under the Cut)

So related to the above, that touch starvation definitely translates sexually. While he eventually mellows out, especially early on in the relationship there's a sort of barely restrained desperation in everything he does. He doesn't ever instigate or suggest something new but the second you suggest or okay something he jumps on it. He just doesn't want to scare you off or push you, even if you want him just as badly. Whenever you're making out, he tries to press as close to you as humanly possible. His kisses are uncoordinated and a little sloppy but his eagerness is sexy in its own right. He's just been so pent up with no outlet or even privacy until now. And he was pining after you for so long. Can you blame him for trying to make up for lost time?

This man is sooooo desperate to please. He's just head over heels in love with you. You've brought so much joy and love to his life, he wants to show you how much he loves and appreciates you. (At a less sexy time, it'd probably be good to talk with him about that feeling of debt and how you love him for who he is, not what he can do for you. But that’s a whole other demon.) So that being said, he’s pretty flexible. While he’s not exactly adventurous, he is open to suggestions. If you want him to take charge, he’ll do his best! Or he’s happy to follow instructions and let you take the lead. Service-Vers. Though, while he’d never ask for it because pleasing you is at the forefront, he’d really enjoy getting to be a pillow prince every once in a while. Just smothered in affection while you take care of everything and spoil him. He’d probably die of happiness.

To be perfectly honest, he’s pretty vanilla. But that’s not a bad thing! He likes gentle, romantic love-making in a bed with the lights dimmed. While he’s not opposed, per say, to trying something new every once in a while, he doesn’t really need anything other than you to make him happy. No matter how many times you two have sex it never gets old or feels less special. If anything it just gets better the more familiar and comfortable he becomes with your body and his own. He likes missionary best but is also a fan of really any position where he can hold you close and see/kiss your face. The one sort of kink he has is praise, though I’d argue everyone likes praise a little. Please tell him how he’s doing and how good you’re feeling. That he’s handsome and good and most of all: that you love him~ He never gets tired of hearing you say it~

[bloodismymedium]

Mona Lanius Headcanons Part IV because I’m actually obsessed with her 💀

🩸 Mona finds the rain very comforting, she’ll stand out in a storm and risk pneumonia to get completely soaked, her head pointed directly at the sky, eyes closed and a soft smile on her face. It’s also the closest thing to a bath that she will ever take.

🩸 Mona’s favorite book is Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein and she relates to the Monster a lot since she too feels like an inhuman outcast not meant for a world that hated her since birth.

🩸 Mona wishes she could sing but her voice is too raspy for it but her humming is flat out ethereal, her voice becomes beautiful and soothing when she hums and she could easily lull someone to sleep with it.

🩸 Mona inherited her parents’ drug problems. She takes so much drugs and so many different kinds that it’s nothing short of a miracle that she hasn’t overdosed yet. She also takes a lot of pain killers but that’s for her back and joint pain on account of her Kyphosis and double-jointed limbs.

🩸 Mona prefers cold, damp climates, she can be completely comfortable in below thirty degree weather and is cold as ice to the touch 24/7. She absolutely hates being hot because it makes her bromhidrosis act up and she hates the sensation of being sweaty in general.

🩸 GG Allin is Mona’s personal hero, she legitimately wishes she could’ve met him and do heroin with him. She often cites GG Allin as one of her biggest inspirations along with Valerie Solanas, Albert Fish and the Zodiac Killer.

🩸 Mona doesn’t care for makeup or jewelry in the slightest. On rare occasions she’ll wear lipstick but only if it’s as black as her soul. She’s always been interested in getting piercings though and she isn’t against the idea of body modification either.

🩸 Mona also HATES wearing shoes because she has large and oddly shaped feet caused by her Marfan syndrome, which makes wearing shoes very uncomfortable for her. Years of walking barefoot has caused her feet to become very tough and calloused to the point where she can walk on broken glass and feel nothing.

🩸 Mona has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Antisocial Personality Disorder and Sexual Sadism Disorder. Her NPD is genetically inherited and she had symptoms since she was very young but she developed Antisocial Personality Disorder from years of abuse and trauma and her sexual sadism was formed over years of exploring her sexuality while committing murders during her teen years.

🩸 On top of painting and her arts and crafts projects involving human flesh, Mona is an aspiring filmmaker of sorts as she has made hundreds of snuff films and stag films with a video camera she stole from Mark and has an impressive collection of VHS tapes containing her and Bill’s twisted home movies. Mona takes them pretty seriously too, she’s always looking for the perfect light to really capture the pained and horrified look of her victims actors.

🩸 Mona has genuinely developed an underground fandom after her capture. Her murders and paintings captivated the country as it is but as soon as it was made public that she is a woman, people went rabid. The amount of “I can fix her” and “I love a woman who would actually just kill me” memes that would come out of it would break the internet.

🩸 Some of Mona’s paintings would even start being purchased by members of her “fanbase” for thousands of dollars a piece and she would already get dozens of people ranging from psychiatrists to E-celeb content creators wanting to get interviews with her, and you better believe Mona is LOVING all this attention.

🩸 Mona was born on December 24th. Her birth on Christmas Eve was actually planned by her parents as planning births to be on Christmas Eve was one of many odd, semi-religious rituals the Lanius family practiced as part of their agenda to achieve genetic and cultural purity, along with practicing incest and drinking each other’s blood.

🩸 The Lanius family are nonspecific Pagans who believe in a lot of strange superstitions and worship no particular deity but believe in a more nonspecific idea of spiritualism that feels like it’s composed of bits and pieces taken from many different religions. Mona is not religious to any capacity but still practices some of the odd traditions her family had out of nostalgic reasons.

🩸 Mona has tried dozens of times to send letters to Tina while she is incarcerated, still under the delusion that they’re an item and that Tina loves her like she loves her. The letters range from poems, to fucked yet strangely romantic drawings, to really horny ramblings of how much she wants to seek her teeth into Tina’s flesh while she weeps into her chest 🥰

[midnight--sadness]

What would happen in the found family au if gihun got sick like inho's late wife and also pregnant with the twins

i love me some angst🤭

oh this is evil, i love it 😭

okay, so i think the pregnancy would be an accident, a delightful little oops. they have nine kids at this point, most of them in college already, but still needing of their attention of course.

and gihun is 50, he didn't even know he could get pregnant anymore. but it happens and he's thrilled, especially when they discover its twins. inho is delighted, very nervous, but the happiest he's been in a long time. and the kids are all excited!!!

this pregnancy is rougher than the one he had with gayeong. his morning sickness is more aggressive and he actually needs an entirely new meal plan to ensure he's getting enough calories.

once he's reached halfway through his pregnancy, the symptoms disappear and he has a few months where he is glowing and thriving! the twins are growing, getting stronger every day and they are being monitored closely by the doctors.

then, a month or two away from delivery, he starts getting strange symptoms. gihun is tired all the time and nauseous again for no reason. he gets frequent headaches and nose bleeds and his legs swell. the doctors think it's normal pregnancy symptoms but inho is not letting anything happen, so he orders them to run more tests - gihun complains of pains on his abdomen, frequent enough that they fear he's going into labor several times. that isn't normal, inho knows it isn't and gihun knows it isn't because labor pains are not in his upper abdomen.

the doctors return with grim news - hellp syndrome. a rare pregnancy complication that affects the blood and liver. inho checks out after that.... the liver? first his wife has cirrhosis and now gihun has a liver disease. some god out there has to be punishing him. he only returns to himself when gihun holds his hand and tells him that everythingis going to be alright. inho feels terrible bc gihun is sick and is conforting him.

the doctors say that the only way to stop the symptoms is to deliver the babies. but they are premature still (even at full term, twins are still premature) and would be a greater risk for complications. they'd need to be admitted to the nicu and would very likely have problems with their lungs.

gihun immediately refuses. he can hold on until the babies are large enough, their organs developed enough, strong enough to survive. he can. and inho has flashbacks again. his wife had said the same and she and their child had died together. he tries to reason with gihun but he is adamant. gihun understands where inho is coming from and tells him that he needs to trust him, that he isn't his wife.... gihun isn't going to die (inho wishes he could believe him).

the kids are all worried and stressed and beyond terrified. inho tries to sooth their worries but he's nervous too and gihun assures them that everything will go well. he has medications and can even have a blood transfusion if he's feeling worse or develops dic. he just needs to hold on for a few more weeks until he can safely deliver the babies and then they'll all be together.

i think, at this point, inho would talk with junho. he needs someone who will listen to him and gihun is beyond that point. he'll kill himself if it means the twins will live. junho starts staying at their house to help with the kids and to keep an eye on inho and gihun.

now, i need the found family au to be a happy ending type, so gihun and the babies live of course.

gihun barely makes it to 34 weeks and has a placental abruption that ends in him having a c-section.... BUT HE LIVES AND SO DO THE BABIES 🙏🫶

and inho never thinks of getting anyone pregnant ever again!

[verycharismaticdragon]

Been thinking about Luo Binghe. As one does, but in this particular instance of why, waaaaaay before I actually like... understood large portions of his character and themes tied to it, I still came out of the novel having imprinted on him.

Because I've talked lately about how important it is to read deeply to actually understand him, but I definitely didn't do that on my first read. He was absolutely as confusing and weird to me as to any of the ppl that hate on him, I just. didn't feel the same despite seeing the same picture.

And after mulling this over, I think this is due to his character soothing a very particular anxiety for me. As a mentally ill neurodivergent person - and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one of those who feel this way - I have definitely wondered at times if I was much more difficult to love than ye average neurotypical. Not in the way of mental illness making one feel unlovable (though dam it sure does that.), but more in the "woah my symptoms are sure a handful to deal with, hard to imagine someone would sign up to do all that work on a life partnership scale" way.

And you see, in media you definitely get (positively portrayed) characters who have a similar problem. But the authors don't really... manage to portray those characters' concerns as having weight. Because they shy away from making those characters symptoms, well, too problematic - lest they actually become unlovable for the audience.

MXTX, however, goes full throttle with Luo Binghe. He's undeniably, glaringly difficult. He does so many things that he really shouldnt have (that he instantly regrets, actually), quite a few of those hurting the person he loves. He gets in his head so much he nearly causes an apocalyptic event over that person saying 'uh-huh' to someone else without even meaning it. He needs constant reassurances. "A handful" doesn't begin to describe him.

And... throughout all of that, he is loved. We are in the head of a guy who loves him. Who gets exasperated, and doesn't understand, and goes through a lot of shit because of Luo Binghe - and yet never stops just, loving him and caring about him, whatever happens.

So Luo Binghe is someone who is genuinely difficult to love - portrayed so without pulling any punches. Definitely more difficult than an average nd guy like me or u. But. He is portrayed as deserving of - and receiving - unconditional, boundless, and eventually commited love anyway. Even when it is actually, forgive the overused quote, rotten work.

He gets to have that.

Yeah, no fucking wonder I tucked him into my ribcage right next to my heart even before I really understood why.

[crying-fantasies]

Radiation exposure

Masterlist

Humanity has been exposed to radiation way before our own existence or evolution, we receive radiation waves from Earth's core, from outer space and many other sources, of course, humans can only tolerate so much of either of those, living in the surface away from the core and under the atmosphere, away from real and unfiltered space radiation.

Still, it's healthy, deep space travelers must return to Earth or a atmosphere similar planet every 10 or so years even with the most advanced gadgets, deep under sea travelers too, there is just so much that technology can do for a living human in order to stay healthy and not have health realted problems.

Cybertronians are technological living mechanisms and so, they are a curious mixture of electric related radiation and outer space radiation, of course cybertronians have compensated the exposure to hard environments more than once in their lengthy existence as a race, their protection being one of the best in all galaxy.

Humans, sometimes, have negative reactions to cybertronians' radiation, mostly due to large times of exposure, presenting health problems related to low level exposure of radiation.

These kind of cases are related, curiously, to relationship between them, as it has been deeply noticed humans that live fairly well and harmoniously with cybertronians tend to have very little to none problems, while the ones that show aggressive behavior towards them present almost all the symptoms, while this is still a heavy and complicated topic among the scientific community some psychologists bring up the idea that it must be caused by their own almost physical psique, being the cybertronian EMF working as some kind of shield for humans.

"I don't think so", USFA master sergeant, Robert Epps, gave his own insight, "I work with all these guys regularly and never had even a flu", he then looked behind him, "Hey! Topspin! Twin Twist!", both jumpstarters looked back at him and then to the camera, "do you guys have your EMF on me?"

Both bots looked at each other before the oldest said "umm... no?", then doing a face, "not right now?"

Is yet to be adequately described, but scientifically there's certainly something to it.

Most cybertronians don't just lay out say it, since for them is normal to flare or regress their EMF at will, their youngest being a little more expressive with it, but it appears to be quite normal to use it, in their own words, to keep a track on tiny humans, "if we don't do it we can't know where they are" Twin Twist explained a little, "we aren't looking at the floor all the time, so it's good to have it a little more active to not have an accident".

Topspin adds, "but if it has good things going for them, that's good, right?"

In the worst case scenario, there is the necessity to consume KI tablets, which are largely distributed in anti-cibertronian or overall hostile areas.

When asked the inhabitants of this places, they just answered with basic answers as them, humanity, to be the only real residents of Earth and for the aliens to go back where they came from, even referring to the other humans in contact with the aliens as "traitors of the species".

More research is going to be done, but so far, the different effects of exposure seem to be guided unconsciously by protective or anger like feelings.

[cripplecharacters]

Hello! I hope you guys are having a good day :) [Smiley face]

I'm writing a story and one of the main characters has CPTSD, and I had a few questions about it. I think I might have CPTSD but I'm not able to get evaluated right now.

I know you say we can do whatever we want when writing about our own conditions, but since I'm not actually diagnosed I wanted to double check things.

Relevent character info: She's been in therapy on-and-off for about 5 years (she had a therapist, stopped seeing him because she moved, and then started seeing a new one) and her trauma revolves around being abused/neglected as a child, witnessing violence, and having assassins sent after her.

Question 1

If she's been in therapy for a years and has a very good therapist, would it make sense that she's able to better deal with stressful/traumatic situations when they come up? Like, being more "resiliant" to being triggered I guess?

For example, she ends up having to work with a group of people, and initially she worries that they might be assassins that were sent after her, but she later realizes that they're not.

Would it make sense for her to not be as hypervigilant/wary around them after realizing this, and more willing to get to know them, and slowly sharing more information about herself as time goes on? Especially if they're also telling her about their past and showing her that she can trust them?

I know that trauma and triggers aren't exactly "logical" sometimes (like being scared of something even though you know it's harmless) so I don't want it to come off as "Well she was scared but then she realized she was being silly so now she's fine lol!"

Should I maybe have her mention to one of them something like "Yeah if I met you guys years ago I would have refused to trust any of you, but therapy really helped me with my issues"?

Question 2

This is sort of related to question one.

I've read that one big thing that determines whether or not someone is traumatized by something/develops PTSD is whether or not they recieve adequate support after the traumatizing event.

So for example, if someone is in a car accident and then they recieve a lot of support from friends/family/therapists, they'll be less likely to develop PTSD VS someone who is in a car accident and then given no support.

In the story, there's a lot of bad things going on. But this time, instead of only having one or two friends to help comfort her, she has a very good therapist and large support network who are there for her.

Would this help prevent her from being further traumatized or making her symptoms worse?

Question 4

Is there a specific order in which symptoms get "fixed"? Like for example, if someone has nightmares, flashbacks, and hypervigilance, would it be possible that their nightmares and flashbacks are less of a problem after treatment, but they're still hypervigilant?

She generally doesn't have issues with nightmares or flashbacks unless extremely stressed or triggered by something specific, but she still has emotional regulation issues (quick to fly off the handle and get mad) and she's quite wary and hypervigilant, especially around people she's doesn't know.

I just wanted to make sure that that behavior makes sense.

She used to be very quiet and people please-y but after therapy she started standing up for herself more, and now she sort of went in the other direction. So instead of just taking everything quietly, she's quick to speak her mind and she's not afraid to defend herself.

Question 5

During the story, she ends up falling in love with one of the people she had to work with, and they start dating about a month after meeting.

I don't want to fall into the "The power of love cures mental illness and now they're all better" trope, so I want to make sure that I show her having occasional symptoms even though she's been doing really well in therapy.

I know it's kind of hard to say since healing doesn't really work on a scale of "0% healed, having a bad time" to "100% healed, no symptoms" but for someone who's been in therapy for years, how often would she still experience symptoms, and what would they be?

I was thinking of showing that she's mostly okay, but still having the occasional nightmare, intrusive thought, flashback, etc.

Hello!

Before I get into the specific questions you have, I just want to give a general disclaimer about PTSD/C-PTSD.

Trauma and trauma disorders are very complex and vary greatly from person to person. The diagnoses for both PTSD and C-PTSD are fairly new (PTSD was only added to the DSM in 1980 and C-PTSD has not yet been added) and the effect that trauma has on the brain is still yet to be fully understood.

I'm speaking from both my own experiences and my own knowledge on the topic as well as some additional research to ensure my information is up-to-date.

Throughout the post, I do mostly refer to PTSD instead of C-PTSD. This is because C-PTSD is generally considered to be a sub-type of PTSD so what I'm describing will generally apply to both. Though there are differences between C-PTSD and PTSD, there isn't exactly a single, commonly agreed upon list of them.

In general, C-PTSD is believed to stem from long-term, repeated/chronic trauma (especially when the brain is still developing) while PTSD comes from a singular event or several separate events. Of course, because C-PTSD isn't in the DSM yet, there are many people who have been diagnosed with PTSD but may better fit the label of C-PTSD.

Personally, I was diagnosed with PTSD as well as a several other trauma-based/trauma-related disorders. My psychologist believes that C-PTSD would be more fitting for what I'm experiencing but, because it's not commonly used in my area, deferred to PTSD.

Interestingly enough, C-PTSD is often mistakenly called "childhood PTSD" because it's most frequently seen in victims of childhood abuse/trauma.

Question 1

Although it doesn't work for everyone, having a good therapist and attending therapy sessions regularly can certainly have a positive effect on trauma and PTSD in general.

Some of the main things that therapists can do include:

Helping your character to recognize when they are becoming triggered.

Helping your character to pinpoint some of the situations that may trigger them.

Working with your character to develop strategies for dealing with their triggers and the feelings that they bring up.

Working with your character to open up about and process their trauma.

Being a safe person to vent to.

Helping your character to navigate difficult situations that arise and helping them to separate their rational thoughts/beliefs on the situation from their initial, trauma-based responses*.

*As an example: A character with trauma from an abusive relationship has a big fight with their new partner. Their first instinct might be to pack their things and leave before their partner gets the chance to hurt them. A therapist can help them recognize that their current partner has never behaved aggressively towards them and identify the ways that this situation is different from their past relationship (They have a stronger support system, they're in therapy, they live in a place with different views on abuse, etc.). With trauma, the past and present often end up blurred -- especially when the present starts to mirror the past -- and it can be difficult to separate the two without help. A therapist can provide this help.

While these things may not make your character immune or even more resilient to being triggered, they can help your character manage it and navigate the situation when it does happen.

Considering the example you gave, I think it could work but there are some other things to consider here:

Why does she originally suspect them of being assassins? Is this something that she suspects all new people of or did they do something specific to trigger the belief? For example, maybe the assassins she encountered tried to poison her and the new people keep offering her food.

How long does it take her to realize that they aren't assassins? What kind of thought process does she go through during this time? Did she speak with her therapist during this time? What does her therapist have to say about it?

What made her realize they aren't assassins? Was it something logical (For example: She uncovers information that proves they aren't assassins) or is it more emotional in nature (For example: She makes a connection with them/bonds with them and starts to trust them)? Are her doubts completely assuaged with this or is she still a bit suspicious in the back of her mind -- even sub-consciously?

It would make sense for her to grow more trusting and open with them as time goes on but, from a PTSD standpoint, trust alone doesn't really have much of an effect on hypervigilance.

Being wary and being hypervigilant are two very different things. The way I usually describe it to people is that wariness is more conscious -- hypervigilance isn't. Even when I'm with somebody I trust, I'll still flinch when they come up behind me unexpectedly -- even if I know it's them. It's a physical response, not something that I can necessarily turn off.

Although your character's wariness may be assuaged, their hypervigilance wouldn't necessarily be something that is eased by trust.

While I do think that having her mention her therapy journey is a good idea (especially considering the fact that there's still a stigma around therapy), I wouldn't rely on it to get your point across about her trauma and trust issues not being an immediate fix.

Instead, I'd encourage you to show how it's a longer process:

Maybe she still has some lingering suspicions/doubts about them on a sub-conscious level and has to mentally talk herself out of them ("You've known these people a long time. They're making coffee for everyone, not just you so the likelihood that they're trying to poison you specifically is low."). While trauma isn't necessarily logical, using logic against these kinds of thoughts can be helpful.

Maybe she still has a physical reaction to something that triggers her. For example, she goes into the kitchen and one of her new coworkers turns around with a knife in their hand from where they'd been cutting food and she stumbles back/gasps because she isn't prepared for it. Not every trigger has to result in a major flashback -- being triggered can just look like your body going "wait a second, I've been in this situation before and it's not safe. Let's take a few steps back until we know it's safe".

If the story is in first person, I'd encourage you to explore her thoughts on the new people, both at the beginning when she distrusts them and later on when she begins to trust them more.

You could also show how she uses some of the tools she's learned in therapy such as self-regulation techniques like grounding exercises or controlled breathing or even just recognizing when she's getting triggered and doing something about it. Depending on what kind of person she is, this could look like her making an excuse to be alone for a moment ("I'm just going to run to the washroom quickly.") or speaking up about her situation ("Just... give me a minute, okay?" or "Wait. I need a second.").

I'd advise against having her explicitly state what is happening ("I'm getting triggered right now." or "I'm starting to have a panic attack.") for a few reasons:

The first being that -- for the most part -- people don't naturally speak like that, especially not when they're already stressed out. A lot of the time, it's not always evident what exactly is happening. The beginning of a panic attack can feel a lot like a spike of anxiety or an increase in hypervigilance.

The other big thing is that words like "triggered", "panic attack", and other mental health-related terms have a history of misuse behind them (Ex: People using "triggered" to mean offended, people using "OCD" to mean neat/organized, etc.). As a result, you run the risk of giving your readers the wrong impression when using them in this context -- especially in dialogue.

One other thing I'll mention is to keep in mind that changing therapists can be very stressful and set your character back a few steps, especially since they have to build that relationship with their therapist again. Keep that in mind when you consider the timeline for these events. If she has just changed therapists, she may not be comfortable enough approaching them about this yet.

Question 2

We don't yet know what specifically causes somebody to develop PTSD. In a broad sense, it's a traumatic event but there are so many different factors at play that can determine whether or not somebody is traumatized, develops PTSD, or develops another trauma-based disorder.

You are right that the level of support somebody gets after a traumatic incident can have an impact -- but there are so many other factors too such as:

The event itself including the duration, the type of incident, their involvement in it (as a witness, a victim, a rescuer, etc.), etc.

Their age and brain development. A child who witnessed somebody's death but was too young to really understand what was happening would have a vastly different experience than an adult who was fully aware of it. Something to keep in mind, however, is that while children were generally considered to be more resilient to trauma than adults, that isn't necessarily true*.

The specific individual -- including their personality, resilience, past experiences/history, pre-existing disabilities and other conditions, etc.

Their experiences during the trauma. There's a common misconception that people develop PTSD only when they don't believe help is coming (for example, being stuck in a car accident in the middle of nowhere). This isn't exactly true but it can have an effect.

Now, on to your actual question: That depends.

Along with the factors mentioned above, their current situation should also be considered. If they're on a series of busy missions and don't have the time to actually process their trauma, they'll have a harder time with healing than they would if they were able to take it easy and process things at their own pace.

While her therapist and support system can absolutely help her manage the more recent trauma, her past experiences in therapy and the skills/tools she's learned can also benefit her -- both in the traumatic moment and after the fact.

In short: Yes, it could make sense that she's more resilient to this new experience than she was to her original trauma.

*There's a great book by Bruce Perry (the child psychologist) that talks about this. It's called The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog and it's a heavy read but a good one.

Question 4

Something that's important to remember about PTSD and C-PTSD is that the trauma can never be fully "fixed" or healed.

Trauma -- especially complex and long-term trauma -- has lasting effects on a person's brain. It changes the way we think, the way we approach new situations, the way we deal with stress. Some types of trauma can even have an impact on the way our kid's brains develop [Link].

While therapies, medication, and support can make a difference and cause symptoms to lessen (or disappear entirely), the trauma will still have lasting effects.

In terms of the order that symptoms get resolved, this is something that varies so greatly from person-to-person that I can't give you an actual answer.

The other thing is that healing from anything (especially something as messy and complex as trauma) isn't as straightforward as it seems. Even with the proper treatment, symptoms don't just decrease steadily or in order.

You may have heard the phrase "progress isn't linear" before. This is very applicable to PTSD and C-PTSD. There will always be setbacks or stumbles or relapses. You can go for years without having a flashback or nightmare and then one day be triggered enough for it to happen. You're still healing, it's just not a straight path.

In your character's case, it could absolutely make sense for her symptoms to lessen at different rates. That said, I'd be wary about portraying it as a straightforward path.

Although recovery is complicated and it's normal to relapse/stumble/have a setback, it's frequently portrayed as a straightforward path and characters rarely experience these setbacks -- which is very discouraging when you're actually recovering from trauma.

Question 5

You might be getting sick of me saying this by now but: ✨it depends!✨

The experience you described (with her occasional nightmares/flashbacks/etc.) is one possibility but it's definitely not the only one.

Somebody can be in therapy for just as long and still experience the same amount of symptoms they did when they first started. Likewise, somebody can have that same experience (with the occasional nightmares/flashbacks/etc.) after only being in therapy for a couple months.

It is important to remember that therapy doesn't get rid of symptoms -- it just helps you process them and teaches you how to cope with them. In some cases, this can cause a decrease in symptoms (for example, talking about an experience can help you process it and decrease the amount of nightmares you have about it) but it doesn't directly get rid of symptoms.

Also worth noting is that therapy doesn't work for everybody and that there are so many other ways of managing PTSD and trauma in general. Some people benefit more from medication (usually anti-anxiety meds or antidepressants) or other types of therapy (such as eye-movement or narrative therapies).

Of course, there are also people that cope with their trauma in ways that aren't generally considered "healthy" such as substance use, risk-taking behaviours, self-harm, etc.

Although therapy is becoming more popular and more openly talked about, I think it's important to acknowledge that there's not just one "right" way to healing from, coping with, and processing trauma.

Cheers,

~ Mod Icarus

[lightofraye]

Friday the 15th

Despite the title of this post, no I'm not trying to make a kind of scary Friday the 13th (15th) thing. More... I have a huge life event coming up and the anxiety is getting to me.

It's a natural anxiety. When someone goes through something huge, they react in various ways. For a wedding, for example, it's a tremendous step. If they're 100% certain in that step, it's full of joy and perhap anxiety something will go wrong with the ceremony as opposed to anxiety about the person they're marrying. Moving across country can be anxiety inducing, despite the excitement and prospect of something new experiences.

Then there's surgery. Even the most minor of surgeries can be anxiety inducing because of what could go wrong. When I had a deviated septum fixed, the doctor actually outlined how it was a basic, minor surgery with potential for a lot of bad happening. So, you know, yay?

Now I have a new, terrifying surgery coming up. It's a necessary surgery, one that I had been forced to reschedule due to getting infected with influenza A just mere days prior. I was so sick that I was down and out of work for six weeks. It affected my voice (I still hear it time to time), my breathing, and I still wonder about the lingering symptoms I have. (Hard to tell if it's allergies or lingering influenza, honestly. But all tests say I'm fine, so...)

This surgery had been a long time coming. My doctor and I had been observing the symptoms, the cause of said symptoms, and it was only late last year that I decided it was time. The minor means of dealing with the issue weren't possible because the issue was too large--and those minor means were 1) extremely painful and 2) doesn't stop the issues from coming back.

I'm being very vague. So I'll say it outright now. What's the issue I'm referring to? Fibroids. Uterine fibroids, to be precise.

I had the issue start well over five years ago. Little minor symptoms that kept happening... and then kept staying. To the point where I gave up and tracked down my ob gyn because my mother had those symptoms that led to cervical cancer and I was not going to leave my young son alone to face his abusive father on his own.

Turned out, it wasn't cervical cancer. Or even uterine cancer. (Thank gods.) No... it was a fibroid. A growing fibroid, actually. Already by the time it was detected, a myomectomy was impossible. That'd work for small fibroids, and mine was already beyond the acceptable size. An ablation wasn't possible either, as the fibroid meant spots would be missed and the symptoms would continue.

My ob gyn had to refer me to a different ob gyn for a very simple, frustrating reason: it was a Catholic hospital and any treatment that'd work to stop the issues of the fibroid was against their policies.

Fortunately I found a great ob gyn and she agreed with my other ob gyn. We inserted a Mirena IUD to handle the biggest symptom--ongoing bleeding--and decided to monitor every six months. Every six months, it showed signs of growing. And growing.

Then it... stopped. So we decided that as long as the IUD was stopping the bleeding and I was doing okay, we'd just do a wait and see.

Well... late last year, it was getting worse again. Other symptoms appeared, too TMI for comfort, but let's say the bathroom and I were becoming too well acquainted.

So a hysterectomy was scheduled. It was supposed to have been the first week of April and I got hit with influenza late March. We waited until I felt better and other life events got sorted. We thought I'd be okay.

I was wrong. So very wrong.

I called my ob gyn and said "We need it out. It's getting painful." The fibroid was creating problems that are affecting me body-wide. Minor from weird ass chin hairs that were growing thick and repeatedly, something I never had before. (The fibroid is disrupting hormones on a very wide scale, much like PCOS.) To intense discomfort in my lower abdomen.

What's interesting are the other irrational thoughts happening. It's a discussing having been held before by other women who have also undergone such similar procedures.

Am I any less a woman for losing the uterus? The answer, naturally, is NO. Even if I were to lose my breasts as well as my uterus, I'm still a woman. Because I say I'm a woman. I lose pieces of the body to maintain the whole.

My health will be so much better for the loss of the uterus, especially as the fibroid will be gone and things settle on multiple layers. Hormones will be back to normal (after some disruption). The pain and discomfort will be gone. I presume that weird chin hair that keeps coming back will finally surrender the ghost.

Even so, it's a major life step. A major surgery that, thankfully, has become more routine. We're planning on using the daVinci Surgical System and hope no issues will occur. It's actually outpatient now, which has me stunned.

My daughter and daughter-in-law will monitor me after the surgery. The next few weeks after, I'll have to be careful with even light objects--I won't be allowed to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk. (That's about 8 pounds, by the way.) That'll be frustrating for me, as I do a lot of heavy lifting on the regular.

But my health will be better. Eventually I'll heal. Eventually I'll celebrate no more purchases of hygiene products. I joked we'll have a "Yeet the Uterus" party, but we just might.

I'll never have to worry about unplanned pregnancies again, so that's something. Yes, even at my age, it can happen.

November the 15th is going to be a big day for me.

[sevenrs]

been seeing interest crop up for a plural interpretation of grey wind/chasing wind, or making plural iterator ocs. this is great! as a system myself, i would like to offer some guiding questions and tips to non-systems to help out in their endeavors. please remember that i am one system and plurality varies VERY HEAVILY among people. other systems are free to comment and add their own tips. just dont turn this post into syscourse

i will use gw/cw as the most prevalent examples but this applies to any oc as well!

- alters are their own people in a lot of cases, not just "personalities". ask yourself, how does gw differ from cw? when presented with the same situation, how do each of them react? do they agree with each other or not? either way, what are their reasons?

- systems are rarely comprised of just two alters. it is not impossible, but very rare. most people notice plural symptoms at around 3 alters and people will on average have between 8-15 alters (but more is very much not unheard of!). think about how many alters gw/cw would have on top of each other

- alters may have different pronouns, sexuality, and ways they want to present themselves from each other. how do gw/cw and other alters differ from each other in this way, if at all?

- if gw/cw's physical body changes to represent who is fronting, was this an ability they had before realizing their plurality? in our world, we cannot change how we look outside of clothes and makeup. if gw/cw do not possess the ability to change physically, do either of them or any other alter feel uncomfortable or even dysphoric looking at their physical body?

- alters' relationships may vary heavily on the same person. how do gw/cw feel about a specific person? how are they the same or different? is one alter in a whole different kind of relationship with someone than another?

- how comfortable is gw/cw with telling others about their plurality? do only they know? their close friends? local group? anyone they come across? plurality is often personal, and is not a singular decision for any one alter in a system to make to tell others. it can be difficult for non-systems to understand what plurality is like (and in our world, cause mockery) so they may think it is easier to stay quiet about it

- plurality happens because of several different conditions. there is did, but there are also ospd-1a and 1b. i would highly recommend doing your own research on these different types of plurality. they each have different effects on memories, emotional state, even how defined the alters themselves. again, look into it

- if gw/cw have memory problems, do they have a way to get around it? private broadcasts? pearls? scratching on the walls? how do they talk to alters not co-concious with them?

- some systems may use role labels to identify themselves as having particular jobs to help/protect the system. these are roles such as host, caretaker, guardian, traumaholder, etc. do your research on this one. do any of these roles apply? or do gw/cw forgo these labels? (personally, we only use the term "host")

- headspace is a place in the mind where alters "live" (it's not a real residence, but it feels that way) headspace may be small, only representing co-conciousness, or very large, giving every alter a more "tangible" place to stay if not fronting. or headspace might not exist at all! (this is most common in systems who just found out about their plurality). what does headspace look like to them? keep in mind, headspace can really look like anything. for me at least, it looks mostly consistent. a few things may change about it or it may expand, but it's not like imagination where anything happens if you think about it

as a disclaimer i am not going to go in depth about trauma or sources in this post. it can get very personal very quickly. a general way i can put it is think of a long term source of stress and/or abuse that may be present in your iterator's life. handle the subject with care.

the best way to learn about the experiences of plurality is to ask people who are systems. as long as you are given consent, come in with genuine curiosity, and be as reasonable as you can, most systems will be okay with questions! it is like any other identity

a side: other ways to make plural iterators?

iterators do not share human anatomy or physiology. they will never perfectly be able to represent plurality like we have it in our world

but the unique characteristics of iterators can lend way into creative ideas that are similar to plurality! (but never, i want to stress, NEVER the same)

notably, several puppets in one can. if you remember that the body of the iterator is the structure, and the puppets are like the face, then you have several faces, personalities, people, in one body. my immunerators play around with this idea and i am sure there are other ways to get creative!