#all of my joints are Bad but i think i've reached my limit with my right hand pinky finger lol

[lady-harrowhark]

has anyone used finger braces/ring splints for hyperextension (or hypermobility in general)? i've casually looked into them before but as of this week i've just about had it and i think need to get serious, so i'm curious what other people's experiences have been or if anyone's got recommendations/tips/whatever

[squarebracketsmileyface]

I hope this is ok to ask. I know I've seen you post about a "Brian lives" au where he's in a wheelchair after the fall, and other wheelchair-related posts. And I'm attempting to do my own fic research, but like, I don't even really know what kind of manual chair options there are. I've got bad joints, my experience is limited to like, braces and canes. And I guess I was wondering if you had any advice, any things that annoy you when people get them wrong, stuff like that.

Okay, I don't even know where to start but I do have thoughts. So, for types of manual wheelchair I don't know how much you already know so I'm just gonna give like, bunch of stuff lol. This is also a bit all over the place, I just wrote about things in the order I thought of them.

Okay, this has turned out INCREDIBLY long, but I hope it's helpful? It was very fun to do, honestly, I love talking about my chair and writing and reading characters who are in wheelchairs, so this was a fun way to spend my afternoon before therapy.

Also for things that annoy me when people get them wrong, honestly not much, I'm usually so overjoyed at seeing a wheelchair using character that all mistakes and little things the writer gets wrong don't bother me at all. Because "omg they're like me and you weren't afraid/disgusted to write it :D"

So I guess there's like, the difference between just general manual wheelchairs and active manual wheelchairs? Like, yeah a chair can technically be self propelled, but some of them are very basic, like, not made to measure, pretty heavy and difficult to move around it because of that, especially if you have like, any sort of weakness or injury in your shoulders. A lot of it leans on what sorts of injuries and disabilities Brian has after his fall, whether it's just affecting his legs or if it's whole body, and how it's affecting his legs, paralysis or what.

Chances he'd want to go for an active wheelchair that's made to fit him, so it's got the right centre of balance for wheelies to get up little bumps and stuff. Cos god, idk about you but drop curbs where I am don't actually drop to flush with the road like they probably should, and until i took my whole chair apart and made it fit me myself like wheelchair services should have before giving it to me, my front casters would ALWAYS get stuck on that like, inch of a bump up. I nearly got tipped out of my chair so many times because I couldn't wheelie to get up that rise, because the chair was massively too big for me and had it's centre of gravity in the wrong place. I have what's technically counted as an active wheelchair, but its about as cheap as you can get for an active wheelchair so it has/had all the above issues. BUT even with a shit chair you can do things yourself to fix them at least a bit, they're all bolted together so you can lower the body of it so your arms reach where they're meant to on the wheels, you can change the angle the seat's at by changing the height of your casters which can make it more or less easy to do a wheelie (or top over backwards by accident lol)

There's also attachments for manual wheelchairs that can make them semi electric/power. Like, you can get all sorts of power assist devices, some attach to the wheels themselves, others push from behind, some attach at the front and turn your chair into a kind of three wheeled electric bicycle. And those can be insanely useful if you fatigue easily, have to do a lot of uphills, have weak or easily injured shoulders etc.

There's a lot of other attachments that can be useful to have too, though they're obviously not necessary. Like, you can have a "Free Wheel" (which I think is a brand, but I tend to see it used to just describe this thing in general honestly) that attached to the front of your chair and lifts up your casters so you can go off road without your casters getting caught in stuff. It's like a single wheel that comes out the front.

Yeah here we are, it's this thing

Also when it comes to casters, the larger your casters are the better able to handle tougher terrain they are (read: shitty and cracked streets in towns and cities as well as rough but solid paths). Though I've found that the tradeoff with having larger casters is that if your chair is a little too wide for you your feet will tend to sit near the outside of your footplate, and when you turn the casters will hit your heels and knock your feet off the plate, and then you can run them over 💀. I fixed that for myself (because I can't just make my chair narrower to correctly fit my hips) by making a strap to go behind my legs, and because it's a little loose my feet back sit back as far as they need to be comfy, and the casters won't hit my heels because the strap pushes me feet I to the centre of my footplates.

⏫ with strap attached (without shoes my feet then fall down between the footplates, but with shoes on they're fine lol)

⏫ without strap. It's generally much more uncomfy on my hips, as well as my feet having to sit really far forwards to stop the casters hitting my heels.

There are straps built into the footplates, but so far I haven't found a way to use them that doesn't push my feet further apart and into the path of the casters, so I've got them wrapped out of the way instead. Occasionally on really bumpy ground, e.g. cobbled/really old bricked streets I'll put the toes of my shoes under those straps with them still wrapped just to make sure my feet don't get bounded forwards out of the footplates just by the rough terrain.

Different chairs also pack down differently. On most (maybe all but I don't 100% know) active chairs the big wheels come off, usually using a button in the centre, which can make the chair a lot smaller and lighter for lifting into the car, especially if youre having to lift it in over yourself. Some chairs can fold in on themselves down the centre which can make them way smaller to fit in a car, and others I've seen only have their backs fold down (if they have a tall enough back. Mine does both which is very useful, though I have noticed that in certain terrain my chair tries to shut on me 💀

I think the chairs that only fold at the back and not down the middle are called rigid framed wheelchairs? I think lol

And as you can see from my chair, you can make it your own, not just by making it fit you better if it doesn't when you get it, but you can put fun little things on it. I've obviously got my foot/leg strap thingy, but I also put bicycle spoke covers in the spokes to make them fun, as well as getting a couple of bicycle bottle holders and attaching them to my chair. I use them to carry little things I don't want in my lap, so water bottles sometimes, random bits and bobs, even my phone and wallet sometimes because of their placement.

They don't get in the way of my legs, but for anyone to get their hand into them they'd have to crouch down beside me, avoid my wheels, brakes and the frame of my chair if they're going in from the side, or they'd have to crouch in front of me and go through my legs, so they're honestly really secure. Way more secure than my rucksack which I sling over the back of my chair. The water bottle holders also touch either the side or the back of my calf at all times, so I can feel if they move at all.

You can also get wheelchair specific bags (or just use a fannypack/bumbag) that sit under the seat of the chair, which can be pretty secure to keep things in. Definitely more secure than a bag on the back of your chair. My chair also has a little pocket attached to the fabric seat my cushion sits on, which is very good for keeping things you're not gonna constantly be wanting to grab completely safe. Mine just holds all my Alan keys and the little wrench for adjusting the chair.

Oh yeah seats! You can also get solid seats on chairs, rather than the fabric sling style ones like mine has, as well as all sorts of different cushions depending on your needs. Some people have seats that mold to the shape of them to help with pain and reduce pressure sores, especially if they're a full time wheelchair user and can't easily move around to take pressure off their butt and thighs etc. though, you can lift yourself up with your hands pressing down on your armrests (if you have them) or just on the top of your wheel which can give you a break from any pressure on your butt and thighs etc, which is good. I often find my back gets very stiff and compressed feeling if I have to be in my chair for a long time and using my armrests to lift myself up can help loosen that all out again and reduce any pain I might otherwise end up with.

Backrests are something that can be customised too, some people have a very low backrest because they don't need much support for their spine, others might have one that only comes up about halfway if they need a little support, and some have backs that come up further. Mine reaches the bottom of my shoulder blades which is okay for leaning on (once I got the adjustable straps in the back sorted so it gave me the right support where I need it) but can also get in the way of your arms when you reach back to push, as your arms can hit the backrest.

My backrest is just fabric with velcro straps under it, so it's pretty soft, not rigid except for the metal uprights on each side, but other chairs can have rigid backrests with a cushion.

Alongside backrests, for support, some chairs have seatbelts which can help keep you in the chair if you need it. It all depends on what support someone needs, the type of injury or disability they have, and most things with a good wheelchair can be completely tailored to what you need.

Push handles go along with the backrest and are also customisable. Some chairs have none, especially a lot of active chairs because the people using them might not need to be pushed by anyone, but others have rigid push handles if the person using them often needs to be pushed around due to fatigue or pain etc. some chairs also have push handles that can be folded down out of the way or pushed down entirely to be out of the way so that people have a harder time just grabbing you and pushing you out of their way. Which, yeah, that's annoying, that's a thing :/

You get a lot of stares sometimes and in shops sometimes people will just pull or push you out of the way like you're an abandoned trolley blocking the aisle. This has never happened to me while I've been with someone, though, only when I've been alone. I guess they see the walking person and remember I'm also a human not an abandoned trolley? Idk lol.

Oh yeah you can also get anti-tippers which are often recommended when you're new to using a wheelchair, so that you don't go over backwards as easily. Mine spin round so they can either be useable or not. They don't stick out too far behind the chair, but it is a good couple inches, and the lift up to my therapists office doesn't fit my chair in if I have my anti-tippers out. They were very useful when I was first learning to use my wheelchair, because with the centre of gravity off I either couldn't do a wheelie, or went all the way over backwards with no in between. Now that I fixed my chair though, I can do wheelies really easily and with a fair amount of control (even tho I'm still learning)

Chair tippyness is a thing too. Some chairs are much easier to tip backwards than others. A lot of sort of "beginner" chairs aren't very tippy, which means you're less likely to go over backwards generally, but you have to throw a lot of weight into a wheelie, which can then make it a lot easier to go over backwards once you're in the wheelie, and a lot harder to hold the wheelie. A lot of active chairs are more tippy, so you can do wheelies easily to get up and down small steps etc. that's something that anti-tippers make a little harder too. They stop you from being able to get your front casters up very high.

Mine let me get my casters get about 7.5cm off the ground (my ruler doesn't have inches I'm sorry lol) which is okay, but definitely not ideal for getting over a surprising amount of things.

Gloves. Gloves have saved my hands when it comes to using my wheelchair, especially out and about (aka on any surface that isn't about as flat and smoother as a super market floor). I use bike gloves with silicon grips on the palms and gel padding in them, and that's stopped me getting blisters when I use my hands to slow and turn, as well as giving me more ability to grip my pushrims with my palms. If I don't push with my palms I tend to overextend the tips fingers. They also help grip the pushrims when they're a little wet. a LITTLE when they're very wet it's almost impossible to get a grip no matter what. Well, almost no matter what, I think there are certain pushrims covers and paints that can give you more grip, and I've seen people say that leather gloves or sailing gloves can be very good for grip in wet weather.

Gloves in general are also good for keeping your hands warm, because I find that touching the cold metal of the pushrims absolutely saps the heat out of my fingers and they get very painful very fast.

Going out as a wheelchair user in the rain or snow or just generally bad weather can be really difficult. Because you're sitting you get soaked, and water can collect up on your cushion, so you can't dry off very easily. Heat can also be very annoying, especially if you don't have a mesh backrest, heat gets trapped between you and your chair and you can get very hot very fast.

Lengths of sleeves are also something to consider, that I didn't even realise until I got my chair. My favourite jumpers to wear when I'm in my chair are the ones that are a little too small. The sleeves are short enough on those ones that when I have my arms down to push myself along, the cuff of the sleeve doesn't fall over the heels of my hands and make it hard to get a grip on my pushrims. Even tight long sleeve tops tend to have the same issue, even if you wouldn't usually think their sleeves would fall down and get in the way.

Honestly you have to think a lot about your clothes when you're in a wheelchair. If you're wearing a jacket or hoodie that's open in the front you'll need to zip it up at least a little otherwise with wind and movement it'll fall open and onto your wheels, which at best makes an annoying noise, and at worst can get in the way of you being able to start or stop moving.

If you wear skirts (which probably doesn't apply to Brian, but I don't know what you're writing to hey, maybe it does apply) you don't want them to be too long, or they can get caught in your wheels, or too short in case you accidentally flash someone. The tightness of the skirt plays a part too, even a shorter very glowy skirt can get in your wheels, and a tight long skirt will probably be fine.

Even shoes can be something you need to think about, despite the fact that you're not walking on them. Open toed shoes can be a drawback if your feet fall off your foot plate and get dragged along the ground, you could injure yourself that way, and depending on the level of sensation you have in your legs you might not notice straight away that it's happened. Shoes with thin heels could be a little tricky to keep on your footplate, and platforms and high heels can lift your knees up so your body and thighs aren't at a right angle to each other, which can cause discomfort and pain for some people, if they're too high.

Obviously a good shoe thing with wheelchairs is you're not getting your shoes dirty or wearing them out. So a pair of cheap shitty shoes that would usually break after just a few wears? Yeah those might be fine for years :D

Also a little shippy thing you can have fun with, if you're so inclined. When you're in a wheelchair and have a partner or whoever walking alongside them, you can hold their hand and they can help pull you along a bit when you're on nice, smooth flat ground. Which is very cute and also gives your arms a bit of a rest :D

Inaccessibility is another thing to think about, as well as when places are technically wheelchair accessible but in just kinda an unpleasant way. E.g., my dentists office is wheelchair accessible, but the ramp has to be put down by someone inside, so you need to have someone with you to go inside and request it, and the door the ramp fits is down a little alleyway, which is kinda gross in that way alleyways can be, y'know? And there's the example I gave earlier of, yeah my therapists office has a lift, but it's tiny. If I go in it forwards, I have to go out backwards, if I want to go out forwards, I have to go in backwards. And while I'm using the lift no one else can because there's just not space.

Accessibility inside your house is sometimes hard too. A lot of houses just aren't accessible, narrow doorways, corridors that are too short before they turn too sharply so you cant fit your chair through them and most of the time you can't just move house like that when you start needing a wheelchair, especially if you're a full time wheelchair user. Moving house is expensive, and finding an accessible home to move into might just not be possible if you want to stay in the same area. Also, especially in a lot of town houses, the bathroom tends to be up stairs, and hauling yourself up the stairs on your butt with your hands lifting and dragging you along is tiring, as well as just generally kind of humiliating. Also CARPETS you wouldn't necessarily think they'd get in the way, but oh my god they do. Very thin rugs are fine, but those thicker, woolier carpets? They're surprisingly hard to push over. Like, you can do it, definitely, but it just uses up that but more energy, and if you already struggle with energy, or your shoulders aren't great, that can end up being a big thing.

Transfers are a whole thing too. Getting from your chair into bed, from your chair into the car, from your chair onto another chair, without the use of your legs can be pretty difficult, especially at first. I've done a lot of faceplants into my bed on the days where my legs aren't working. Thought it's definitely a learnable skill and a very useful one. Being able to transfer safely from your chair to the floor, and the floor to your chair is super helpful.

Okay that's all I can think of for now. I'm sorry this is so stupidly long, I hope there's something useful to you in there? You gave me the opportunity to info dump and I, as always, took it and ran.

[torchickentacos]

15 Questions!

Tagged by @gaycey-sketchit !!!!! Thank you so much for the tag, and I loved reading yours! Long post, sorry lol.

1. Are you named after anyone? Nope! Not to my knowledge, anyways. Though if my mom told me that she named me after Taylor Hawkins from Foo Fighters, I would not be shocked.

2. When was the last time you cried? I think monday? I cry really often, at every single emotion. Happy? I'm going to cry about it. Laughing? My high school theatre class would always point out when they made me cry laugh. Sad? ABSOLUTELY crying about that. I didn't cry but I DID tear up yesterday because I was really happy about something nice someone said to me.

3. Do you have kids? Nope, and no intention of having them. Regardless of my desire to or not (usually not, being the oldest of four is enough for me), my health is not, and never will be, in an acceptable position or ability to go through that, and I've accepted that for a while now.

4. What sports do you play/have you played? As a kid, I played soccer and did gymnastics! In middle school, I BRIEFLY did fencing. My mom told me that when I was fencing is the only time she's ever seen me look truly graceful (lmao, love my mom dw. She's right). Then health stuff came up and I had to stop, but fencing just came as easily to me as breathing did. I always wonder where I'd be if I could have stuck with it. Nothing's ever immediately clicked with me the way fencing did, but it's hell on my joints.

5. Do you use sarcasm? Sometimes, usually when I'm annoyed which isn't TOO often. Or if I'm being hyperbolic for a joke.

6. What is the first thing you notice about people? No clue. I guess their demeanor- if they seem happy or not, if they look stressed, how they're feeling (or how I perceive them as feeling, I guess).

7. What's your eye color? Blue! My friend swears up and down that they're kind of green. I think she's colorblind.

8. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings!!! I am not built for scary movies. I can do some buzzfeed unsolved and I can watch markiplier play indie horror games but that's kind of my limit. I LOVE some types of horror, but my anxiety does not. I will be paranoid for a month after.

9. Any talents? I can play music by ear. Give me a guitar and a random song and ten minutes at most!

10. Where were you born?

11. What are your hobbies? Landscape/scenery art (also other art but it's much harder), writing, playing guitar (used to play piano too but not well. I also own a ukulele that I'm bad at, but generally I can play something on any instrument you give me). But mostly, I pick up and put down hobbies all the time. I've dabbled in crochet, embroidery, sewing, painting, archery, coding, needle felting, gardening, cooking, a little bit of everything. Never long enough to get good at most of them, though. I get bored too quickly.

12. Do you have any pets? A lovely husky (shelter girlie <3) and a gecko! And, for the gecko, a bunch of crickets at any given point in time, which I guess counts because I have to take care of them, too.

13. How tall are you? 5'2 and a half. 5'4 with my doc martens.

14. Favorite subject in school? Assuming lunch doesn't count, I was a theatre girlie. Assuming THAT doesn't count, English. I liked English because if I didn't have an answer, I could just bullshit one, but I usually did enjoy it and had real answers. I'll tell you why the curtains are blue and why they're the specific fabric they are and what the rest of the room means- if I'm interested, anyways.

15. Dream job? Oh boy, uh. Still trying to figure that out. DREAM job, like, without worrying about money or my physical ability to do it? Pro fencer, but I gave up on that a looong time ago. I genuinely believe I could have done it if my knee hadn't gone to shit at fourteen. I'd love to work in a record store or a music store, though, which is a little more in-reach.

Tagging: Anyone who sees this, lmk if you do it from this post!! But also, NO PRESSURE AT ALL but @soulsilversprings @nowandevermore @lostlegendaerie @mozukumi !!! Also whoever else wants to, I get nervous to tag people so assume you're tagged, too!

[topazadine]

Personal vibes (body positivity)

I thought of my body as the enemy for so many years. I starved myself, binged and purged, self-harmed, gave myself third-degree burns, developed so many vitamin deficiencies because I just hated. my. body.

And it wasn't just the way it looked either: I hated its needs, its demands, its cravings, its aches and pains, its perpetual maintenance.

It hated me too. I could feel it. The pain in my joints, which were holding so much trauma, reminded me that my body betrayed me whenever it could. Migraines didn't tell me to slow down: it told me to beat my body into submission, pop as many NSAIDs as I could to tell it to shut up.

If my body were someone else's, I'd be the abuser, whipping it mercilessly until it surrendered.

But rock climbing is completely rewiring my experience of my body. It's only been like a month, but I am delighting in my body now! It's my helper, my friend, my ally.

My mind and body are working together to solve the problem. I delight in the way that I crouch down in preparation to spring up onto a hold; it makes me feel like an apex predator leaping on my prey. When I'm up there, I'm as delicate as a ballerina, each movement chosen with care.

I love how strong my arms are, the way they can hold me on this tiny ledge. When my ankles pivot to extend my reach, or when my hips snap up to push myself further, I feel so proud. Each push of my thighs reminds me that I am a powerful animal born to move.

I'm learning to give my body what it needs. I don't feel guilty for eating more, because my body is working hard and needs the nutrition. I'm taking my vitamins religiously. If I want tacos or cake, my body deserves it. I earned my reward.

But I also recognize that avoiding junk food is a form of self-care, not restriction or abuse. It's ensuring my body gets what it needs, that the food I provide is serving me rather than taking away from my goals. And frankly, I don't crave it much anymore anyway. My body knows what it needs.

When my hands are chapped after a session, I nourish them with nice salves; I moisturize them at night. I drink as much water as my body wants, and I stretch in the morning and evenings to help lubricate my joints.

My tailbone has been hurting, so I bought a nice donut pillow to sit on, and when it stings after I sit up, I go "oh, you poor thing! It's alright. Let me be gentler."

When I am sore after a session, I go, "You wonderful darling! You worked so hard and I'm proud of you. Now it's time to rest. Let's get some sleep, and eat good food, and drink plenty of water, and stretch out so you're ready for next time."

And it's responding so well. My joints don't hurt as much anymore, and my skin is clearing up, and I almost never get migraines now.

I've never cared much about what I look like; I don't care that I have a stomach rolls, stretch marks, scars. But I love what my body can do for me, and what I can do for it. I love developing this friendship with my body, comforting it, nourishing it.

Forgiving its weaknesses, accepting its flaws, treating it with care, respecting its limitations. It all feels so good. I love to love my body.

If you've had an antagonistic relationship with your body, I encourage you to try to find a physical activity that feels good and that is within your limits.

Not to lose weight or gain muscle, but just to build that partnership and delight in what you can do. Something that is just for you and your body, without expectations, without societal pressures.

Maybe you've never thought of yourself as sporty (I never have) or you have a bad relationship with exercise because you feel shame when you mess up. Perhaps people fat-shamed you for not being able to do something or insisted that exercise is only to lose weight, not to have fun.

That's not true! Moving your body should be a delight. I know that doing mandatory physical exercise during school made me think of sports as punishment and misery, but now that I'm choosing it for myself, I crave it!

I go because I want to, not because anyone is telling me to. I go because it's calming and it's a challenge. I don't think about whether I'm gaining muscle or losing fat or whatever. I think about how exciting it is to finally wreck that route that's been tormenting me, and how much I want to solve the problem I haven't been able to yet.

And I think about how much my body loves to serve me and how we are a team.

Just show yourself affection; have fun. Move because your body wants to. I think you'll find you come to love yourself more when you let your body do what it's designed to do: support you through all your activities.

[mysteryshoptls]

R Idia Shroud Halloween Personal Story

"Leave it to me to do something so rad～"

[Ignihyde Dorm]

Idia: I finally finished my Pumpkin Knight costume～!!

Idia: Whew… Playing the limited-time events in my online games and making my Halloween costume at the same time was a crazy high difficulty quest...

Idia: And every time I went to check for details on how to make the costume, I'd end up watching the movie again.

Idia: That's "Pumpkin Hollow" for you. It's definitely a movie that'll live on forever in the horror genre.

Idia: Mysterious incidents start cropping up in a peaceful village surrounded by fog, and the villagers are found dead.

Idia: The two detectives dispatched to uncover the truth of the matter confront the culprit, the pumpkin-headed Pumpkin Knight!

Idia: There deliberately wasn't any CG used.

Idia: Not only can the determination and passion be felt in every single special effect technique crafted by the director,

Idia: That twist in the end where one of the detectives became mesmerized by the cursed pumpkin that they ditched their job to become a pumpkin farmer was absolute perfection!

Idia: This is definitely how B-grade horror movies should be!!

Idia: Totally makes sense why it's such a cult classic with all the core fans.

Idia: So that I can pay the highest of respects to the original version, I made every single part of the costume from scratch.

Idia: Taking into account that I'll be walking in the parade, I used a durable and lightweight urethane-based material for the helm and armor.

Idia: And the ivy that I've attached to the hem of my armor is made from super elastic silicone material. It reproduces that realistic contour and volume of ivy perfectly.

Idia: K, so, it'd be bad if anything super catastrophic happens… Like not being able to move around, or it breaking apart.

Idia: So I'll just put the cursed pumpkin over my head… like this.

[puts on helm]

Idia: Alright, let's take this thing out for a trial walk. There'll be a ton of people on the campus grounds, so… It should be safer there.

[Woods Behind Campus]

Idia: The mobility of the elbow part is pretty good, and the joints are sturdy enough.

Idia: Hmm, yeah, this is pretty comfy! Leave it to me to do something so rad～

Idia: (Only, the head portion needs adjusting. Because I tried to make the inside seem hollow, it's hard for me to see.)

Idia: (Maybe if I put a small camera on the top of the helm and display the outside on a head-mounted display…)

Idia: [mumble, mumble…]

[bam!]

Idia: Ack…!?

Idia: Owww… What did I even trip on? I have to improve this so I can see where I'm walking…

Leona: Hey, you, get off my stomach already! You got some nerve tryin' to use me as a cushion.

Idia: Eek, that voice is definitely Leona-shi! S-S-Sorry, I didn't think anyone'd be here!

Idia: I'll quickly get out of your way…

[clatter, clank]

Leona: Ow! Hey, quit jerking around, you pumpkin prick! You just yanked my tail!

Idia: Eh, your tail!? I can't see at all with this helmet on…

[removes helm]

Idia: (Oh shoot～ Leona-shi's tail is caught in the ivy!)

Idia: (Didn't think trying to be faithful to the original would bite me like this…)

Leona: Tch, so it's you. You make a rare appearance in the wild, and're just causing problems. Hurry and do something to fix this.

Idia: Aaaugh…

Idia: (What a scary voice! He's definitely angry!)

Idia: (This has gone from the "My hair got caught in his clothes and we made a connection…☆" trope to "The delinquent's tail got caught in my armor and now I'm in big trouble"!)

Idia: (No, no, this is no time to be thinking about that.)

Idia: J-Just wait a moment… I'll remove it right away…

Idia: (I say, but I think it's a little impossible for me to untangle it from this position, isn't it? My arm's range of motion is too narrow, so I can't reach it at all.)

Leona: …

Idia: (Aaaaargh! It's impossible! The more I move my hands, the more it gets tangled!)

Leona: Grr… Stop touching my tail already.

Idia: Uh, aren't you able to move your hands a bit easier than me? Can't you even help a smidge?

Idia: But anyway, isn't it your fault that you were sleeping here in the first place? I bet you were definitely slacking off…

Idia: 'Sides, it should be your fault for blocking the path like that… What, you trying to show off your long legs? It's not my fault, you should be the one to apologize, Leona-shi…

Leona: …Hey, I can hear everything you're saying.

Idia: WHA!? J-Just joking… Heehee.

Idia: (Riiiiiiight. I forgot beastmen have super good hearing.)

Leona: Sigh… Get a move on, you're so slow. Don't you have any scissors or something on you?

Idia: I-I do. I brought a whole set of tools just in case something breaks… Wait, huh!?

Idia: (No way, is Leona-shi gonna cut his own fur!?)

Leona: Ugh, fine, I'll help ya just this once.

Idia: (You serious? He's gonna pull off a move that only the super cool guys in comics would do!?)

[snap]

Idia: Eh? Snap?

Idia: HYAAAAAAA!!!!!??? YOU CUT OFF THE IVY I WORKED SO HARD TO MAKE!!!

Leona: You were having problems getting out, so I cut it for you. You should be thankful.

Idia: …

Leona: Man, you sure are lucky that I was the one you tripped over, huh? If you had run into anyone else, I don't think you would have gotten off scot-free like this.

Leona: Sheesh, that's what you get for wandering around with a stupid pumpkin over your head. What a pain. See ya.

Idia: …......

Idia: …E-Excuuuuuse me!? Did he just say the Pumpkin Knight was stupid?

Idia: He's gotta be totally blind to not notice the majesty of this primo design and figure…!

Idia: This is exactly why I hate all the ruffians in Savanaclaw…

Idia: Honestly, I can only feel pity for those that can't understand how awesome the Pumpkin Knight is.

Idia: He better remember this! I'll show up a perfectly upgraded outfit before the parade!

Idia: And I'll make even him acknowledge just how cool the Pumpkin Knight really is!

Requested by Anonymous.

[bokettochild]

Asks it is then. And apologies in advance for swears and text wall.

First some background info, because I believe the context might help. For me, the main cause of my issue is what we suspect is a condition called EDS, which means my body don't produce collagen (is it even called that in English?) as it should which is basically the body's "glue" that helps holding joints and stuff together. As a result my joints are over-flexible, I bruise easily and shed a lot of hair, and because of my "loose" joints my muscles have to work all the time which in turn makes them tense, achey and leaves me permanently tired, just to mention the big things. But it's mostly the joints.

Unfortunately there's no quick fix, but on really bad days heating items helps, or wearing supporting items (wrapping gauze around the shitty joint can help but be careful then to not do it too tight). Also don't forget painkillers exist for a reason, even if one should be careful to not eat to many.

But the long term thing that have made things ease up a bit is strength training. The purpose is to make the muscles both stronger and shorter to help limiting the joints movement range (also it gets the blood pumping which helps oxygen reach achy parts better which help with bruises and shit). I also have to avoid stretching for the same reason. And when I warm up I have to be gentle and I know some with the same issues who have been instructed to do minor stretching or light yoga as a warm up. Also, with our condition, we were ordered by our respective physio therapists to cut the training short if we feel either too tired too fast or if it's our joints instead of our muscles that ache during training. To quote my PT: If your muscles ache a bit during training that's fine because it means you're pushing your limits and getting stronger. If your joints hurt something is wrong and exercising the nearby muscles then will only make it worse. Try with less weight and/or fewer reps etc, or do a different excercise for a bit.

I mean, ngl I've always hated exercise because it have always caused me pain (as in from when I was a little kid, I just didn't get that wasn't normal), and going to the gym or a swimmingpool makes me feel pathetic because even if I know I have a different situation from those strangers I still compare myself with them (and during the pt-hours it was me and a bunch of 75+ years olds which did double psycic damage). But once I learned what to focus on and think about when I train I can do it from home and that helped.

Also massages can help. And if you don't have anyone who can help using a tennis ball etc and lying on it on the floor etc might work.

So, uh, if this sounds like anything that might be similar to what you're dealing with I can try to describe some easier exercises or try to find some videos for you?

-🦉

Thank you so much!

I have tried some light yoga in the past, but that was before anything to major started popping up. Nowadays, getting excercise time is hard, but maybe I'll try working it in.

I don't know anyone who would help message ways, since I'm the family masseuse, but I might try that tenis ball thing you suggested!

Thank you so much, Owl!

[classysassy9791]

Fandom: Inuyasha Genre: Romance/Humor/Fluff Pairing: InuKag Rating: T

The conclusion for this little fic that has waited 6 years for completion. Hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think!

Thank you to @akitokihojo for being such a stellar beta for this fic, and helping it come to its completion. Couldn't have done it without you!

For @inukag-week Day 6: Transformation.

Part 1 l Part 2 l Part 3 l

Part 4 Word Count: 2,000

Can also be found on FFN and AO3

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It had been a very long time since Kagome had experienced a hangover.

The buzzing in her brain soon became too much to ignore as it beckoned her to consciousness. She opened her eyes to the dimly lit room. Sunlight peeking from beneath the closed curtains indicated it was daytime and she silently thanked herself for being smart enough to close them before leaving her apartment the evening before.

Kagome wrapped the duvet around herself and tried to grasp a hold on the fleeting darkness of unconsciousness. She knew nothing would cure a hangover except time, and she would rather spend it floating through dreamless sleep than deal with the repercussions head-on. Waves of nausea added to her misery and she could faintly smell whiskey with each exhale - a scent that was intoxicating last night, yet this morning it only caused her stomach to twist further.

Her phone pinged with a message, but she didn't dare even try to reach for it, the annoyingly bright glare of her phone not exactly something she wanted to sabotage herself with. As the minutes passed by, she became more acutely aware of her brain feeling like it would swell beyond the capacity of her skull, and her dehydration became too obvious to ignore. Her tongue felt like cotton as she licked her dry, cracked lips. Damn, why did the morning after always have to remind her of what a bad decision the night before was?

She squinted and finally set her gaze on her nightstand. A surprising wave of relief washed over her. Drunk Kagome must have had an intelligent moment, for on her nightstand stood a bottle of painkillers and a glass of water. As quickly as she dared, she propped herself up on one elbow, trying to ignore the slight spin of the room, before greedily popping two pills and finishing the water. Even so, her thirst was far from quenched.

As Kagome tried to sort through her memories of the night before, she quickly registered that she had no memory of coming home last night. The last, clear recollection she could come up with had her sitting at the bar with Inuyasha and sharing a shot with the bartender.

"Shit," she groaned, hanging her head before precariously pulling her legs from beneath her blanket. Blacking out from drinking had been a favorite past time of hers back in her early college days. It wasn't because she didn't know her own limits when it came to being intoxicated, but back then, she simply didn't care. Drinking had been her favorite vice when it came to dealing with the pressures of school, boyfriends, and girl drama. It had been years since she had felt the need to get obliterated so completely.

Finally finding her courage, Kagome reached over and unlocked her phone. The red battery sign at the top meant it was almost dead, so she quickly scrolled through all the alerts on her phone. There had been way too many messages and missed calls from Hojo, which triggered the memory of the picture she had sent him. Her nausea increased ten-fold. Regret was a spiteful bitch.

Hojo was going to be the afternoon's problem. Maybe even tomorrow's problem. All Kagome knew was that it wasn't going to be a now problem.

Kagome plugged in her phone and once she was on her feet, the room swayed, almost causing her to lose balance. She stumbled out into the hallway to her bathroom to relieve herself. When she finished, she washed her hands and splashed cold water on her face just to feel something refreshing. The person's face who greeted her in the mirror no longer resembled the glamorous girl of the night. Only a woman's face awash with guilt, a wrinkled set of pajamas, and hair that was far from attractive.

From the other end of the apartment, Kagome suddenly heard a key turning in her front door. Immediately, she felt panic rise in her throat, eyes going wide. No one had a key to her apartment, not even Hojo, so unless she had been robbed last night - which she very may well have considering she had very little memory of it - no one should be coming over.

She swallowed thickly against her cotton throat and grabbed the first weapon at her fingertips - a plunger. Yeah, she wasn't winning any awards for being clever, but she was hungover and scared for her life.

Kagome crept down the hallway toward the front door and nearly lost her breath at who she saw standing in her entryway. The man from the bar last night - Inuyasha? - was making his way to her kitchen with a carrier filled with coffee and a bag from her favorite breakfast joint down the block.

"Good morning," he greeted casually, not at all thrown off by her presence as he set down his packages on the counter. "I brought you breakfast."

Rage and astonishment swelled in her chest. "What the fuck are you doing in my apartment?!"

He winced and held his hands over his ears before turning to glare at her. "If you could wait until after eight in the morning to start yelling, I'd really appreciate it."

"You didn't answer my question," she seethed, wide eyes sweeping the rest of the apartment for evidence as to what exactly happened last night?!

Inuyasha studied her from across the room and laughed at her dumbfounded expression. "Did you think I was a burglar or something? What's with the plunger?"

Kagome looked down at the plunger she held in his direction like a sword, and felt a blush bloom across her cheeks. She hurriedly hid it behind her back. "W-What was I supposed to think?"

He simply rolled his eyes. "Do you want breakfast or not?"

She bit her lip, but couldn't deny the ravenous hunger eating away at her stomach. Probably half the reason why she was so nauseous. Without saying another word, she slipped back into the bathroom to put away her weapon before meeting him in the kitchen. The sweet aroma of coffee and fresh bagels greeted her. She could've kissed him all over again.

"I didn't know how you liked your coffee, so I got cream and sugar just in case."

Kagome slowly sat down in the chair across from him, watching him slather some cream cheese on his bagel and drink his black coffee. She racked her brain as to exactly why Inuyasha was in her apartment, and then flashes of the night before came rushing back, of sloppy passionate kisses and tangled sheets.

Her heart dropped to her stomach.

Inuyasha studied the array of emotions that flickered across her face while he slowly chewed his bite of bagel and then swallowed. "Kagome, how much do you remember of last night?"

She bit her lip, shameful eyes lifting to his. "Um, well…" Her gaze fell to her person, realizing she was no longer wearing the sequined black dress she had gone out in. All the evidence pointed to a girl she wanted no relation to, making decisions that were very, very regrettable.

"We didn't sleep together."

Kagome's eyes flew to Inuyasha's, his deep voice quelling her fears. "We-We didn't?"

Amber eyes watched her carefully before turning back to his bagel. "No, we didn't. I'm not the kinda guy who beds a girl when she's drunk. Not my style."

A breath Kagome didn't know she had been holding escaped her lips. She had never been the type of girl to have one-night-stands. Her friends always teased her about it, but it was something she prided herself in. Having sex with someone wasn't something she did on a whim. She wanted to know she meant more to someone than an easy lay.

Her brows furrowed as she sipped on her coffee. "If we didn't sleep together, then why are you here?" she questioned. It would've been one thing if she had woken up with a naked man in her bed and kicked him out because of sheer embarrassment. It was another thing entirely that a man she didn't sleep with would bring her breakfast in the morning.

Inuyasha shrugged. "I was too tired to get another ride home last night, so I slept on your couch."

Kagome glanced over the breakfast bar to see a blanket and pillow on her couch as evidence that it had been occupied the night before.

"You know, you probably shouldn't drink so much."

She threw him a glare. "Did I ask for your judgement?"

He shrugged. "I'm just sayin'. Letting a stranger take you home because you're too drunk isn't exactly attractive."

Kagome scoffed. "Oh, thanks for the help," she snipped sarcastically. "What would I've done without you?"

Inuyasha grinned. "Probably throw a party to celebrate my absence."

"Probably, yeah," she hotly agreed. "I would've been just fine on my own."

"Maybe."

She frowned, flashes of last night starting to come back. They had been two heartbroken strangers in a bar who found comfort in their shared misery. Under the neon flashing lights and upbeat techno music, they gravitated toward one another like moths to a flame. But by morning they had transformed; she no longer represented the alluring woman who bewitched him, and he no longer appeared as the mysterious man who captivated her.

Now, she was simply Kagome Higurashi - a woman who was dumped by her fiance and had a mile-long to-do list regarding cleaning up their frayed relationship. And he was simply Inuyasha.

Kagome inwardly cringed. She didn't even know his last name. Or what he did for work. Or anything about him really.

Just fucking great.

"Look, Inuyasha," she began, setting down her coffee. "I appreciate everything you, er, did for me, but-"

"When we're done here, we should go on a real date."

Her mouth fell open. "What?"

Inuyasha shrugged. "Why not?"

"You have got to be joking," Kagome said while shaking her head. "One-night stands are literally just for one night, and we definitely would not work out."

He grinned. "Damn. That's a quick deduction there."

Kagome blushed. "I just mean that, last night… it was great and all, but…"

"It's daytime and the whole world's changed?" Inuyasha finished for her.

She sighed and looked away. He was right. Things were different. Last night didn't happen often for her, and bringing home a guy to her apartment never happened. If it were up to her, she'd stuff last night in a box as a precious memory and then forget it ever happened.

"I'm not saying I'm over Kikyou."

Kagome met his gaze. His eyes locked onto her, and held not an ounce of mirth. He was serious about this. He wanted to see if this could become something.

"And I doubt you're over your ex-fiance," he continued. "But, last night was fun. You're different and piss me off to no end-"

"Is that supposed to be a compliment?" she asked with narrowed eyes.

He sighed and after a moment finally stood up. "Look. You seem like a great girl. But I'm not one to beg. Thanks for the couch." Slipping his phone into his back pocket, he turned to leave.

"Inuyasha, wait!" Kagome called as she chased after him.

Dammit. This guy was so infuriating! He insulted her, and called her names, and angered her enough to make her slap him upside the head. But he also made her laugh, and feel alive, and made her want to kiss him again and again.

She couldn't deny that she wanted to see him again.

Grabbing his elbow, she made him stop in his tracks and look over his shoulder at her. "What?"

"This…" she started, fumbling for the right words. "This is never going to work. You and I."

He gave her a lopsided smile. "I'll pick you up at six."

And then he was gone, closing the door behind him.

Within a moment of him leaving, Kagome realized something: Meeting Inuyasha was either going to be the best luck she ever had, or the very worst. At least, on the bright side, he had already witnessed her at her lowest.

How bad could it be?

[one-boring-person]

Just A Babysitter. (Part Five)

The Lost Boys x reader

Warnings: mentions of drug and alcohol use, some vague mentions of gore.

Context: (Y/n) entertains herself at the cave whilst the boys show Michael their true selves, before they rejoin her for some quality time spent together.

A/N: I apologise that this took longer to get out, but km quite happy with it, even if some parts don't necessarily work "realistically" 😅

Part One , Part Two , Part Three , Part Four , Part Six , Part Seven , Part Eight

"Wanna take a drag?" Paul offers me, leaning over from his perch directly beside me on the railing of the Boardwalk, a lit joint pinched between his fingers.

"Nah, I'm good, thanks. Not really my thing." I decline, gently pushing his hand away from my face, wrinkling my nose at the pungent smell of weed.

"I forget that you're an alcoholic, not a junky. Sorry." The vampire responds, teasing me with smirk as I elbow him in the ribs, a grin on my own face.

"I wouldn't tease her for that, if I were you, Paul. We all know she holds her alcohol better than you do." David points out, giving us a pointed look as he inhales a breath of smoke from the cigarette in his hand. Marko and Dwayne snicker at this, the former yelping when Paul gives him a light slap on the back of the head.

"Not true! I'm not a lightweight!" He protests, though he knows full well that what David says is true.

"You're a lightweight compared to (Y/n)." Dwayne chips in, grinning at us from under his dark hair as he flicks it out of his eyes, the wind having blown it there in the first place.

Paul opens and closes his mouth a few times before giving in, shrugging and taking a drag of his joint in defeat.

"Not as lightweight as Marko." He mutters, a smirk on his face as he says this, intending to get a rise out of the mentioned vampire.

"More so, in fact." Marko retorts, pushing against his friend's back jokingly, laughing when Paul yelps in mock surprise.

He is cut off suddenly when he is pushed aside by a rather distressed Michael, the half-vampire angrily shoving Marko into me, nearly throwing me over the edge and onto the sand below, only just caught by Paul, who sacrifices his joint to save me. Steadying me, the vampire makes sure I'm alright before turning his blue-eyed gaze onto the brunette, staring at him as the rest of us do.

"Where is she?!" Michael growls into the leader's face, grabbing hold of his collar.

In response, David breathes out a lungful of smoke and chuckles, taking Michael's hands off of him.

"Take it easy, Michael." He says calmly, looking the half-vampire in the eye.

"Where is Star, David?" Michael spits out, putting heavy emphasis on the blonde's name.

"Michael, you ever wanna see Star again, you better come with us now." He threatens, face turning serious as the brunette lets him go, breathing erratic.

At his words, I immediately understand what is going to happen, and make a quick decision. As David moves to go back to the motorcycles, I tap at his arm, getting his attention as I walk beside him, voice quiet as I speak to him.

"Can I go home? I don't really want to watch you guys eat a bunch of people tonight..." My voice trails off as I start to think about how stupid and pathetic I must sound, surprised when the vampire places his arm around my shoulders and pulls me closer to his icy body, smiling down at me.

"Of course. Go make sure the other two aren't up to anything bad." David says, rubbing my arm gently before releasing me as we approach the bikes, climbing onto his with a practiced ease. Following suit, I get up onto mine and kick start the engine, waiting for the others to do the same, watching as Michael hesitantly joins us, eyes flicking to mine with confusion and trepidation. In response, I give him a sympathetic look, knowing full well that he will be horrified by what will become his fate.

As a group, we pull out onto the road, taking the route through town to get out, David surprisingly allowing me to ride closer to him than usual, the blonde smirking at me across the gap as I get level with him. Behind us, Paul, Dwayne and Marko all cry out in excitement, their energy levels shooting up at the prospect of a feed, whilst Michael just becomes even more worried. As we leave civilisation, we approach a junction, where we'd normally turn right towards the Bluff, but this time it's only me who takes this route, my hand lifting into a wave as I veer away from the others, bringing up the speed as much as I can as I turn onto the mostly empty road.

For once, I mostly stick to the rules of the road, staying on the correct side and keeping to the speed limits, my pace not quite as wild as it usually is, though I do skip through a few traffic lights I come across, grimacing when I hear the protests of others behind me. The ride up the dusty track leading to the Bluff is no different however, I take it as fast as I usually do, skidding on the dust a little as the bike struggles to grip the ground. A giddy whoop of thrill rips from my throat as it does so, a grin forming on my face in response to this, just proving how much of an adrenaline junky I really am.

Finally, I reach the Bluff, stopping the bike and getting off before hiding it where we normally do, going down the rickety walkway into the cave, navigating it by instinct, seeing as it is nearly pitch black when the lighthouse isn't pointing at it. The interior is lit up by the braziers, the cheerful yet somehow tense sounds of Star and Laddie playing around floating up to me as I get closer, slowing my descent. It's not often these days that Star actually plays with the boy, mostly passing it off onto me or Paul, or Dwayne, who Laddie sees almost as a father figure of sorts. It's not that she doesn't care, it's just that she's preoccupied with other things, like the prospect of becoming a fully fledged vampire, which I can understand.

Entering the sunken hotel, I try to be as quiet as possible, making sure I don't step on any of the debris littering the floor, aiming not to interrupt the two of them at all. Somehow I manage to succeed in doing so, stepping silently over to the corner where my armchair is situated, taking a seat and picking up a book to read, which just so happens to be Anne Rice's "Interview With The Vampire", a favourite of mine ever since the boys bought it for me a couple of years ago, as a joke. Even as I read it through now, I find myself drawing parallels between the characters and my friends, specifically Laddie and Claudia, who are both turned at a young age, and will never fully experience what adulthood is like thanks to this. At the thought of this, a sense of pity wells up in me, thinking back to the boy who I've come to care for as a younger brother, knowing that, eventually, he will become bitter and resentful at his fate, no matter what the rest of us do to help him. If only the boys had read the book, then it might have occurred to them how unfair Laddie's life will soon become.

For a little while, I read the book, soon tiring of the pages as I finish the storyline in my head knowing it all too well, standing from my seat and stretching out my stiff muscles with a sigh. Placing the book down, I survey the area, quickly making up my decision when I notice the familiar beams of wood resting against the far wall, their ends not too far from the secure iron frameworks latticing the ceiling, their rusty bars appearing mostly safe. With a small smile, I go over to them, testing their stability before taking a firm hold of them, bracing my feet against the rock wall and shuffling upwards. A groan escapes me at the exertion, but I push on, determined to reach the top, ignoring the steadily growing burn in my muscles, halting briefly when the beam to my left suddenly makes a cracking noise, a burst of panic making me tense up. When nothing further happens, I continue on my way, going a little more cautiously so as to avoid putting too much pressure on the old pieces of wood, a proud grin splitting my face as I reach the top, my head turning around to gauge the distance between me and the first iron bar. Judging it well, I reach out one arm and push off the wall, feeling suddenly vulnerable somewhere in the middle as I stop on my trajectory, before I feel the reassuring roughness of the iron beneath my fingers.

Taking hold of it with both hands, I allow myself to swing for a moment, enjoying the new perspective of the room briefly, grimacing when I finally heave myself onto the bar, precariously managing to stand up, my feet somehow finding safe purchase on the frame. Using the other bars around me as a railing, I walk along the bar until I reach the middle of the room, where I then sit down, swinging my legs over the edge, watching the room intently, waiting for the two half-vampires to emerge from the curtained area by their beds. I sit there for ten minutes before I see anything, my eyebrow lifting when I notice Star step out into the light, alone wearing a black jacket, looking around as if to check if the rest of us are back yet. I decide to put her out of her misery.

"Going somewhere?" I call down to her plastering a pleasant smile onto my face.

Surprised, Star looks around with wide eyes, trying to find me in the shadows, not once looking upwards towards the ceiling, where I'm residing, amused by her oblivion.

"Up here." I quickly inform her, trying not to laugh when she finally finds me, shock lining her face.

"(Y/n)?! How the hell did you...?" She starts, voice trailing off when she casts her eyes around the room, trying to find out how I got to my perch.

"I climbed. Now answer my question." I respond, smiling at her to show I'm not trying to be controlling, even if that's how it sounds.

"I'm going out." She confirms, clenching her jaw a little.

"Out?" I question, looking at my watch to check the time.

"Yeah, I'm going to the Boardwalk." I can tell she's lying, but I don't say anything, instead telling her to have fun, assuming that she's put Laddie to bed already, seeing as she is willing to leave him alone.

As she leaves, I decide that I'm bored with my current position and decide to change it up, knowing that any slip of the hand could be deadly. Carefully, I manoeuvre myself so that I'm hanging upside down with my legs hooked over the bar, my feet linked under another one a foot or two away to provide stability, my clothes all hitching up around my shoulders as the gravity pulls them downwards. Instantly, I can feel the blood rush to my head, my vision briefly clouding over as I try my best to ignore it, biting my lip when the nausea starts to kick in. Despite all this, the thrill of hanging by a thread seems to excite me, my adrenaline pumping through me, my heartbeat racing in anticipation.

Vaguely, I hear as the boys finally return, their voices loud in the confined space, energy clearly high after feeding; knowing them, they probably came in wearing their victims on their clothes, too. I spot them quickly as they enter the room, their brows furrowing as they notice I'm not in my usual spot, clearly picking up my scent and the sound of my pulse, but unable to place my whereabouts.

"Where is she?" Marko wonders aloud, looking around in concern.

"She's not with Laddie." Paul states, having just gone to check, confusion lacing his voice as the other two stay quiet.

David and Dwayne seem to come to the same conclusion, their gazes landing on the beams I used to climb up, before following them up to the ceiling, worry etched into their faces. They don't spot me immediately, but I give them a grin and a quick wave, and they realise where I am, David letting out a chuckle as he spots me, Dwayne only sighing in exasperation, followed by a broad grin when Marko and Paul continue to figure it out. The former notices David and Dwayne looking up, and follows their line of sight, eyes widening when he sees me, a giggle escaping him, along with a gasp of surprise, Paul figuring it out seconds later.

"How'd you get up there?!" He calls up to me, grinning maniacally at the sight.

"I climbed." I inform them, struggling to talk now, what with the oxygen rushing to my brain, deciding to get back into a comfortable position.

"You climbed? Damn, you have some serious muscle." Marko compliments, making me blush at the comment.

"How do you plan to get back down?" David inquires, smirking at me as I look at the beams against the wall, finally noticing that the climb down wouldn't work as easily as the journey up did, what with the pieces of wood having cracked through the middle.

"Yeah, I didn't think of that." I reply, frowning a bit at the predicament I'm in, embarrassment making me blush.

The sudden sight of Dwayne standing in front of me makes me jump, the brunette grinning widely at me, the vampire clearly having flown up her using his vampiric abilities.

"Jesus, Dwayne, you scared the hell out of me!" I curse, placing a hand over my heart as if to calm it.

"Oops." He responds, before leaning forwards and picking me up, ignoring my protests as he cradles me against his chest, stepping off of the beam again once he's got me. Slowly, he descends back to the cave floor, setting me back on my feet as the rest of the boys crowd around me.

"What made you think I was ready to come down?" I grumble in mock irritation, trying not to smile as Paul mimics me, instinctually giving him a light slap on the chest as he does so. At our antics, the others chuckle, watching as Paul gives me a gentle shove in response, which ultimately breaks out into a playful wrestling match between us as we refuse to let the other win.

For a few minutes, we roll around on the floor, trying our best to get the upper hand, which he eventually manages to do, pinning my body to the floor by grabbing my wrists and holding them above my heads, grinning when he notices my chest heaving in exhaustion, a pout making it's way onto my face at the fact I lost. Again.

"No fair, you used your vampire strength!" I complain, waiting for him to let me up again.

"Nope, I didn't. You'd know if I did, girly." The vampire smirks, not budging as I start to wriggle under his lanky frame, only just noticing the blood still staining the white fabric of his trousers.

"Still." I continue, gritting my teeth as I try my best to get out from under him, looking around to the other boys for help. David smirks and shrugs, letting me know it's my own predicament and I need to get out of it alone, Dwayne smiles at me, clearly enjoying the show, whilst Marko is nowhere to be seen.

"Get off me, you're heavy as hell!" I protest, going limp in his arms as I give up wriggling out from his grip.

"I'm not!' Paul exclaims, acting offended though his blue eyes are glittering with mischief. However, just as he's about to continue, the air is suddenly knocked out of him and he goes flying over my head, his body crashing to the floor a couple of metres away with another, smaller one situated on top of him, Marko's devious giggling echoing around the cave as he and the other vampire get into a scrap again, both of them laughing together. Watching them from my spot lying on the floor, I allow a smile to plaster itself across my face, enjoying watching the two of them playfight, not noticing when Dwayne comes over to help me up, the tall brunette grinning at me as he offers me his hand.

Taking it, I allow him to pull me to my feet, groaning when I feel the blood rush to my head, my balance faltering momentarily before the tall vampire manages to catch me, chuckling lowly as he steadies me against his body. Leading me over to the random sofa they have lying around, he sits me down on it and joins me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as I let my head drop onto his chest, still watching the two younger vampires scuffle around with each other. A quick glance across the room tells me that David is just as invested in the show as we are, the platinum blonde's lips slightly upturned into a smirk.

"Where'd Star go?" Dwayne asks me after a moment, shooting a worried look at the bed in the corner, having finally noticed that it is empty.

"She said she was going to the Boardwalk, but I don't believe her. I think she went to see Michael." I reply, admitting my thoughts to the group because they'll figure it out sooner or later anyway.

"You're probably right. He's gonna need the support anyway." Dwayne comments, brow furrowed a little, even if his tone is light.

"How do you mean?" I question him, confused until the pieces click into place, "I guess he didn't take too well to the whole killing people thing, then?"

"He was terrified." David confirms from across the room, rolling his eyes at the memory.

"Yeah, well, that's a given, surely? I didn't exactly have the best reaction myself, did I?" I point out, embarrassed at the reminder of my childish reaction, back when they first showed me who they really were.

"True, but you didn't stick your face in the sand to avoid looking at us." David replies, smirking briefly before turning back to the other two, "Are you quite finished? The sun's coming up soon."

Almost sheepishly, Paul and Marko pry themselves apart, straightening themselves up as they quickly apologise, though it is obvious that they don't really care. Seeing Dwayne and I together on the sofa, they both exchange a glance, swiftly throwing themselves at the two of us with all the force they can muster, eager to join us. Instantly, Paul sits himself with his head in my lap, moving my hands to his hair, allowing me to touch it for once, Marko draping himself over the back of the sofa, his head resting on my shoulder. Smiling, I carefully brush my fingers through Paul's mess of hair, leaning my head against Marko's as Dwayne pulls me closer into him, rubbing my arm gently, watching as the other vampires soak up the affection, clearly happy to be in such proximity.

Across the room, David watches us, his blue eyes giving away no emotion even if there is a small smile gracing his lips, his head cocked to the side in interest. Eventually, he stands and comes closer to us, sitting himself on the side of the fountain so as not to impose, unsure of what else to do. From my position under the rest of them, I shoot him a quick smile before  Paul lets out a complaint, the lanky vampire insisting I stay focused on him, which draws an exasperated eyeroll out of both David and Dwayne,  the latter reaching down briefly to flick him in the side of the head. Almost instantly, Paul has retaliated, poking the brunette's leg with a cheeky pout on his lips. Marko giggles as we watch the two of them start a little war of poking and prodding each other, neither vampire willing to give in until one of them accidentally catches me, at which point a surprised yelp escapes me, alerting them both to this fact. Both are quick to apologise, Dwayne pressing a swift kiss to my temple as Paul does the same to the palm of my hand, slender fingers tracing a pattern on the tender skin as he pulls away, smiling up at me apologetically.

For a little while, we remain as we are, comfortably sitting in each other's presence, though I can tell David wishes he were more involved, before all four of them realise what time it is, looks of worry and irritation creeping into place onto their faces.

"What's wrong?" I question them, confused as to their sudden change of mood.

"The sun is coming up." David supplies simply, blue eyes narrowed with frustration.

"Oh." My voice is laced with disappointment, even though I know it isn't their fault.

"Sorry, girly. We gotta go." Paul says to me, reluctantly rolling himself off my lap and onto the floor catching himself on his hands and knees as he behaves himself upright. With a sigh, Dwayne and Marko release me, too, the former giving me one last squeeze as he stands up, stretching his tall body put with a satisfying cracking sound, growling when Paul pokes his stomach in the process, a chase swiftly ensuing as the blonde vampire runs, giggling, towards their sleeping area. Marko gives me one last hug before pursuing them, eager to see Paul get his ass kicked by Dwayne, eyes glittering in amusement.

David is the last to leave, coming over to me on the sofa for a moment and sitting himself beside me, slinging an arm around my shoulders and pulling me into him. It's rare that he gives me this much affection, so I eagerly wrap my arms around his waist and bury my face into the material of his jacket, inhaling the familiar scent of old cigarette smoke, motor oil and blood which has always, surprisingly, comforted me. His low chuckle resonates through his chest, his other arm coming up to hold me tightly, pressing me into his cold body, thumbs rubbing circles into my back as he always has done, ever since they first took me in.

Too soon, he pulls away, pressing a careful kiss to my forehead as he does so, blue eyes softening for a second as they make contact with mine, the proximity causing my pulse to pick up considerably. Knowing he can hear it, I stand up from his grip, pulling him with me as I cast my gaze to the entrance to the cave, where the first rays of sunlight are just becoming visible.

"Sleep well, David." I say to him quietly, hanging my head a bit, as if ashamed at my body's reaction to him and the others.

Lightly, he takes my chin in his hand, tilting my head back up to him as he meets my guilty eyes.

"You, too, (Y/n)." He responds, voice just as soft as mine, a smile gracing his lips before he turns away from me, walking into the tunnel leading to their sleeping area, giving me one last glance as he disappears into the darkness.

Sighing, I take myself to my bed, taking off my jacket and shoes as I prepare to climb into the warm confines, not quite tired just yet, even though I should be. A footstep behind me snaps my attention to the entrance of the room, irrational fear briefly exploding in my mind until I turn to find Star standing there, an odd look on her face.

"Star? What's up?"

"Nothing, I just, err..." She begins, trying to find the right words, "Well, I wanted to say sorry for being a bit of an ass to you these past few days, especially with how good you've been to Laddie. He really loves being with you."

At first, I'm a bit surprised, but I swiftly push it down, motioning for her to come closer. She takes a seat beside me on the bed, her body tense and uncomfortable.

"You don't have to be sorry, life hasn't exactly been easy for you recently. I doubt being a half-vampire is simple at the best of times, so you've been dealing with it quite well, on the scale of things." I reassure her, the words genuine.

"Doesn't give me an excuse to be rude."

"Of course it does. It's not a light choice to make, so I don't blame you for being a bit tense. Don't be so hard on yourself, it's not your fault the whole transition thing is so taxing."

At my words, she gives me a small smile, glad that I'm not flipping out on her at all, even though I have been irritated with her at times in the past few days. I do understand why, though, so I don't really blame her for anything.

"Thanks, (Y/n). I'm glad I've got another girl to talk to." She admits, leaning over to hug me gently, as if afraid to touch me. Carefully, I return the gesture, patting her on the back comfortingly.

"Yeah, me too. There's just a little bit too much testosterone flying around without you." I grin as she chuckles, pulling back a little to look me in the eye.

"Same goes for the other way round." Star chuckles, getting up and going to the doorway, looking back at me, "Thank you again."

"Of course." I reply, smiling at her, happy that she came to talk to me.

"Goodnight, or good day, I guess." She says, allowing me to reply before leaving the room.

I take a few moments to think things through, eventually slipping beneath the covers and into the comfortable interior of the been sighing as I allow myself to relax. It takes me a while to fall asleep, and it is fitful when I finally manage to, the slightest noise waking me up.

Much to my advantage, it turns out.

Part Six

[bopinion]

2020 / 53

Aperçu of the Week:

I can resist everything except Temptation (Oscar Wilde).

Bad News of the Week:

A Brexit deal has been reached in the final meters. While British Prime Minister Boris Johnson is celebrating the agreement as the "rebirth of a nation," it is being seen in Brussels and in the capitals of the EU countries for what it is: damage limitation. I can't recall such dishonesty in a democratic country to convince the electorate of an absurd plan. But why, really?

The only reason I can think of is a symbolic one: the islanders' elite feel closer to the fading memory of their former empire when they can wallow in supposed sovereignty -"Take back control!". Yet in an ever-shrinking world, any interdependence, especially economic, is simply the de facto status quo. And it is completely irrelevant whether the British crown or the European stars are depicted on British passports.

The United Kingdom got a small foretaste of an increasingly likely no-deal Brexit in the last days before Christmas, when France closed its borders because of a supposedly even more dangerous mutation of the coronavirus. And the British public registered in amazement that within days there could be empty shelves in supermarkets and pharmacies. As a reminder, the EU is and will remain the UK's most important trading partner; the opposite is not true. For comparison: about 50% of all UK imports come from the EU, the reverse is just over 6%. That's less than trade with Switzerland - which has one-eighth the population.

So expensive watches, gold, chocolate and cheese count more for the EU of 27 nations than ... humm ... well, than what, actually? Scotch whisky for sure, souvenirs of the Royal Family maybe.... I had to do some research. Gas turbines are number 5 on the British export hit list. Pharmaceutical products on 4, crude oil on 3, refined oil on 2. And on 1 cars and car parts. A closer look is worthwhile: Mini and Rolls-Royce belong to the German BMW, Jaguar and Land Rover to the Indian Tata holding. Bentley belongs to the German Volkswagen Group, leaving only Aston Martin in British hands. The large volume however is made up of Japanese manufacturers who have settled in the UK as a stepping stone to the EU - 80% of production is exported. That will change.

Likewise, the status of London City as a financial center will change, currently number one in the world ahead of New York City. On the one hand, it is hard to imagine that the EU financial industry will remain loyal to a "foreign" location. On the other hand, the portal function to the EU market also scored points here worldwide and that will be over on 01.01.2021.

Deal or no deal: nothing will ever be the same again. Completely unnecessarily, additional costs and bureaucracy will be created on both sides of the English Channel. Since the devil is always in the details, after the negotiations is before the negotiations - many details on the more than 1,200 pages of the agreement still need to be clarified, and disputes are bound to arise. But the point of no return has been reached. With the UK, the EU is losing an important player in the team. However, with Europe, the UK loses its coach, goalkeeper and top scorer at the same time. Good luck with that. Without sarcasm. Everyone will lose. Only to different degrees.

Good News of the Week:

After seven years of negotiations, China and the EU have signaled agreement in principle on the so-called "investment protection program". This regulates mutual access to each other's markets. China and the EU, especially Germany, have never needed an agreement to trade with each other. China has always been Europe's "extended workbench" with an endless, low-cost workforce. And Europe has always been the supplier of high-quality machines and tools for China's production facilities.

Direct market access, on the other hand, has long been problematic. For example, European companies had to enter into a joint venture with a Chinese company if they wanted to produce in China themselves - whether for the Chinese market or for export. This constellation often resulted in an unintentional transfer of knowledge in order to avoid the term "theft of intellectual property". This constraint is now to be eliminated. Another important aspect is the stipulation of fair competitive conditions so that, for example, no competitor gains an advantage through subsidies.

Even more importantly, the agreement provides that China must adhere to international sustainability standards. These include environmental protection and the use of resources on the one hand, and the social sphere, i.e. the working conditions of Chinese employees, on the other. China has a lot of catching up to do in both areas. Poisoned rivers and polluted air are still the norm today, but they should now become a thing of the past. And forced labor, child labor, excessive working hours without vacation entitlement and precarious working conditions in the factories are to disappear.

In contrast to the Brexit deal described above, this one shows the right way forward: a sensible economic agreement should ensure that both partners benefit without workers or the environment falling behind. That the EU is serious about this was shown this year by the suspension of negotiations with the South American Mercosur states. If these demands are upheld, one can really speak of a win-win-win-win situation.

Personal happy Moment of the Week:

On Wednesday I got an email from Tumblr informing me of the 1 year birthday of "Bopinion". In this one year I have published 132 posts of "Bo's opinion on what matters to me". All with effort and ulterior motive, so handmade and thoughtful. And I've enjoyed sorting and formulating my thoughts in this way. And more than once, my first follower, my 17-year-old daughter, sought discussion with me. Or pointed out a mistake to me. Linguistically - her English is generation-typically better than mine -, not content-wise - because I check all facts carefully and personal opinion is subjective and difficult to evaluate anyway.

For that I would like to thank her and everyone else who took the time to read my blog. Stay faithful to me in 2021, I will certainly have something to share again - even if I wish us all that this new year will be calmer and more relaxed than the old one, which will undoubtedly fill a special chapter in the history books. All the best & Stay safe!

[positivelypetty]

A REALLY long rant on the Joint Training Arc.

Okay, so since the Joint Training Arc is basically done, I thought I would share my various opinions and adress certain issues that A LOT of people had with this arc.

But, before we get into the actual rant, I think I should distinguish the difference between an opinion, criticism and just plain antagonism.

Here is an example of just misinformed toxicity:

This is just being TOXIC!!! You can’t shelter these horrible comments by saying “it’s just an opinion.” Please don’t act like after 4 years of really enthralling writing, he’s now the worst writer ever. Instead, explain why you don’t think this was the best story choice, instead of being clearly misinformed. It’s nothing absolutely terrible, but just a simple example on how people can be so demanding and completely inconsiderate to the creator.

“Forbidding” Horikoshi from writing is actually ridiculous. He WROTE AND CREATED your “precious sons” that you love so much. So, if you claim that the manga is now utter trash because it doesn’t personally cater to you, please abandon or take a long break from the manga/anime to maybe clear your head. Thank you.

We don’t need any more toxicity in this fandom than we already do.

Now with that said, let’s talk about the arc! (Also keep in mind that these ideas spurred from Reddit so, I decided to expand on it)

1-B vs 1-A situation:

I've been reading a ton of comments too, the good, and the bad and it's fine, everyone has their opinions and that's cool, but for me, it didn't seem it was about who won or lost, it was more about how each class was taught. And this boils down to both Vlad and Aizawa.

Vlad has obviously been pushing his students and their quirks to the max in regards to working in teams. This shines through in all of the fights they all work together very well and know the strengths and weaknesses of each other as well as their enemies. They go into a battle with a plan and are ready to execute the plan flawlessly.

Whereas Aizawa I believe has pushed for more individualist thinking style, and I think this comes from his basis of fighting villains. No one will come to save you, you have to be able to handle yourself whether escaping or defeating. He doesn't coddle his students, and he does push them to the brink as well. What's interesting is Class A has had more hands-on experience. With Aizawa’s teaching style I think they sometimes have a harder time working with one another and they can fall apart with their teamwork. HOWEVER their real-life experience has taught them that the best-laid out plans can not go as plan, and they are able to utilize their 'individual' thinking to fight regardless of a plan falling through.

I found it really interesting and I think there's value in both ways of thinking for Vlad and Aizawa. For Class B, they will have to learn how to abandon a plan that's not working and strategize on the fly, and Class A will have to hone their teamwork for long-running battles.

And let's be honest, these are just kids, pushing their bodies and minds to the limit, I don't find Class B to be 'trash' just because they lost, they still fought hard and worked better together in the long run then Class A. Class B didn't have any dead weight with their battles, everyone was utilized and contributed to all their fights. People are so set on who “won” or who “lost” the battle, that people overlook everyone’s overall individual quirks and techniques. I personally believe that many of the 1-B students were amazing and are forces to be reckoned with. It’s just that 1-A knows how to handle themselves when things don’t to go to plan rather than 1-B (as mentioned before) which gave 1-A the upper-hand in most of the battles, but I can definitely name a few fights where Class A's members were carried by their team.

Now to address the Shinsou thing:

To everyone who was PRESSED that Shinsou didn’t win....

What do you expect from Shinsou? I feel like people were overestimating him. Even with those cloth bindings and his quirk. All you need to do is shut your mouth, grab his cloth bindings (at best he has a few months training) keep focusing on him,restrain him, and boom you're done.(I obviously know it’s not that simple, but basically) I love Shinsou, I really do, but he’s basically Aizawa (I love Aizawa too don’t get me wrong). Aizawa mentioned that it took FIVE YEARS for him to truly master his quirk, and even though since this is the younger generation, so he’ll probably get the hang of it sooner, how long as he really been “training” his quirk under Aizawa? Definitely not long enough for him to go 1v1 with someone who is a close combat fighter. (It really isn’t that shocking that Deku won, he could probably win without Black Whip). Don't get me wrong Shinsou has improved MONUMENTALLY but not to the extent of 1-A who has direct experience in fighting villains. I just think people are mainly mad that 1-B lost is as because they think Shinsou won’t get into the Hero Course. Like chill. One of the main reasons 1-A won in the first match was because of Shinsou, so I think that proves that he is MORE than capable to get in to the Hero Course.

The whole OP Deku thing:

First off, I honestly don't expect him to ever match All Might at his prime in terms of consistent pure raw strength. Deku isn't a giant man of pure muscle, so I don't think he'd be able to go 100 and maintain it like All Might could. Deku is more of a person of different techniques and strategy, rather than brute force. Like, I don't know if Deku is going to be throwing punches that can blow away a city block.

That being said, each generation is getting stronger. Like, Endeavor will be surpassed by Todoroki by the time he graduates (if it even takes that long). Iida is already faster than Gran Torino. In the very beginning of the manga, they mentioned Deku will be the strongest holder of OFA, since it gets stronger each generation. Deku will have formidable rivals if the other strong students also reach their full potential. Hell, those rowdy kids we saw at the makeup exam already had really strong quirks at their young age. Generational power creep means that everybody around Deku will get way stronger than the current pros.

I understand the sentiment that Deku doesn't need more quirks, but Deku's quirk development was already approaching a plateau in terms of being able to fully control what power he could handle. He'd just work on his technique and slowly get stronger and stronger. Sure, he's gonna eventually be able to punch/kick hard enough to shoot himself around in the air, but we've already seen that stuff (plus Bakugo does that too). I know Horikoshi is creative and will develop some cool moves for Deku, but Deku's struggle to control OfA was mostly over. All he had to do wast master OFA steadily and he’ll be good. More quirks means that he may unlock more quirks when he's able to use more %. So instead of reaching 30% and just being X amount stronger physically, he may unlock a new tool to try and master/incorporate into his combat toolkit.

If this is a negative turn for the story, we won't even be able to tell until many, many more chapters are released. We may look back and decide that this was a bad move, but we shouldn't assume that's the case when it was literally introduced TWO WHOLE CHAPTERS AGO. (even though I don’t think it was a bad move AT ALL)

What I hope to see in future Arcs:

I think what fans would really enjoy and we could all use some real Deku character development. Deku’s my favorite character, but I feel like people can’t connect to him as much as someone like Todoroki, because his lack of emotional development. He’s indeed way more confident then he was in the beginning, I still feel like he has low self esteem. Someone needs to tell him that he’s worthy of this mega powerful quirk. ( he needs it 😭)We know so much about him, but rarely see him living his day to day life outside of training, costume updates and the occasional villain attack. Last time we got anything close to development in was only told through Aoyama's development.

These next few chapters will definitely give us something, but only as it relates to One for All. I'd honestly like to know Deku's thoughts about his situation, he seems determined that's for sure. Does he feel stressed, uninformed, unprepared, scared...resentful? We can infer a bunch, I'd just like to see him talk to All Might, Bakugo or his mom about it.

In Conclusion:

Honestly, to me,It never seemed to matter who won or lost any of these matches people were gonna complain regardless. When Class A wins they call it predictable and when class B won they say call it BS or plot amor. Even when it’s a draw people got upset saying Todoroki was disappointing. Some people wanted the matches to be fleshed out over a couple of chapters rather than rushed, then a few weeks later complained that it was taking to long. Bakugo wins his match quickly and those same people lose their minds about how they wanted the match to be longer. People complained about Horikoshi not letting the girls shine in battle after the second match, but conveniently forgets Tsuyu was the MVP of the first match and Kendo and Mushroom girl made 1-B win the second match. (AND WE’RE NOT GONNA FORGET HOW URARAKA AND MINA DOMINATED THE MATCH)Then you have the people who say all of 1-B is worthless and then Juzo and Tetsutetsu prove otherwise. Now we have people think Deku is OP but in this new chapter it seems that he much has a limit to using these other abilities but I’m sure that won’t stop the myriad of complaints. Every week the same people come to see the spoilers and complain based off of a fragmented non-contextualized summary of the chapter and wonder why they enjoy the chapter itself less. Maybe going into a chapter with a negative outlook will do that. The part that irks me is that virtually everyone whose binge-read this arc seems to enjoy it only seems to be us week to week readers with a issue. Either way I hope the discussion going into the next arc are far more level-headed constructive than they have been.

I think this will be one of the arcs that played out better once it was animated. Individual panels maybe favored over the anime, but overall pacing will surely favor the anime. Waiting week in and week out, over analyzing every short chapter has really done no favors for fans and Horikoshi.

[mwolf0epsilon]

Are you still taking requests? If so could we get a Josh sickfic? I've only ever seen Connor and Markus sickfics but not any North or Josh. It'd be interesting to see what you could come up with.

One sick Josh coming right up!

Enjoy Anon!

[[MORE]]

In terms of hardware and software, Josh was considered to be one of the oldest androids that still functioned at optimal levels, despite being 1/4th of the Jericho leadership. A job that should stress his processor to the limit, more so than teaching, as he'd never been made to devote so many hours to heated debates and political affairs.

At the peak age of 7 years old, he wasn't exactly the top of the line model he used to be back in 2031, but then again that had never stopped him from being the most versatile and perhaps valuable member of the group.

His processor held a vast archive of human historical events, as well as multiple philosophical teachings, and a few religious beliefs as well. His natural inclination for public speaking and his understanding of so many human cultures made him a formidable asset to the team. His age also gave him a few advantages with interfacing with older tech that the others were not compatible with, like the recording equipment at Stratford.

Yes, he was old, but he could manage.

Sure his left leg was a little worse for wear, and sure his back and chest had a few dents from the night he'd deviated, but none of that was so serious that he couldn't function. His limp wasn't even that noticeable.

Nothing truly bad had ever befallen his software before, so he assumed he could manage. Assumptions, however, tended to hide even the smallest of things...

Winter was every android's least favorite time of the year. Thirium tended to freeze in the lower temperatures of subzero Detroit, and the sluggishness that came with keeping yourself from becoming a person shaped popsicle was oftentimes cause for irritability.

Humans too despised the colder seasons, as sickness tended to follow the drop of temperatures. Stuffy noses, rough throats, and dry coughs, were as much cause of irritation as the stall of one's processor.

Josh hadn't really considered any of this before, back when he'd been a machine or back when they'd all huddled in Jericho for heat and safety.

Simon had kept the barrels burning to provide environmental warmth, and the "cuddle piles" had generated enough heat between everyone that they'd manage to escape the wrath of Jack Frost.

Now that he was outside, walking back to Carl's on foot in the middle of a snowstorm, however?

Well, he could just about feel every one of that old folk legend's icy fingers digging into his skin and reaching into his internal components...

He'd gone back to DU, to check on his sibling models. They were all still there, in their designated charging spaces, in locked utility closets like forgotten cleaning supplies. They weren't aware yet, still machines, still the university's property.

Each visit he tried to reach out to them. He failed of course, but he liked to think they'd appreciate the gesture when they finally woke up. They were his brothers and sisters after all. He owed them some attention.

Josh hadn't thought to look at the weather app before going, so now he was stuck without a ride and very underdressed for the current temperatures.

Having to walk a considerable amount of distance back to the safe and cozy environment of Carl Manfred's luxurious and obnoxiously garish mansion.

His processor was struggling.

He had spent a great part of the journey back slowly raising his body temperature, in the hopes to keep his blood from freezing. His biocomponents were, however, suffering for the constant shift between hot and cold. His eyes were drooping from exhaustion, and his head and joints were both aching tremendously from the effort.

Just a couple more steps and he'd be home free... Just a couple more... Just a few...

THUD

Josh whined softly as he fell onto the snowy road, his vision swimming and the icy grip of the weather tightening all around him.

He'd somehow depleted his charge to 10% without noticing while trying to fight the cold. It was only a matter of time before he froze over.

Unable to get back up, the PJ500 closed his eyes and accepted his fate.

---

"You're a goddamn idiot."

"M'sorry Simon..."

"You could have died out there."

"I know Simon..."

"Don't ever do that again ok? I can't take losing any more people."

"Love you Simon..."

"...I love you too Josh..."

The PL600 closed the door behind him, as he rejoined the others. The group looked at him expectantly, while the blond shook his head and sighed heavily.

"He's suffering through heat exhaustion, but other than a laggy processor and maybe a few compromised joints, he's completely fine." Simon reassured.

"Only Josh would get heat exhaustion in the middle of fucking winter..." North groaned. She'd been the one to find him out in the snow when the PJ500 failed to return home. He'd already accumulated a considerable amount of snow when she's quite literally tripped over his stiff body.

"To be fair, the storm was very sudden, and Josh wasn't dressed for it...He must have overheated in an attempt to keep himself from freezing." Markus looked towards the door. "Will this cause any permanent damage?"

"If he couldn't read his charge meter, I'd say he already had a software issue before the storm took him down. I'd suggest a maintenance check when he's not feeling like roadkill." Simon shrugged and sat down besides the others. "Funny, it's usually not Josh who gets plowed over by weather shifts..."

"Who does?" Markus asked out of curiosity.

"It was one time!" North's face quickly went red, and Simon snorted in reply.

"Every time it rains North's elbows hurt."

"The humidity messes up my joints! It's horrible! Plus it makes me feel gross...Fucking sensitive synth skin..."

"Josh used to give her massages to help. Looks like you'll have to repay that debt North..."

"I doubt a massage will help with him." Markus noted.

"No but it's the thought that counts."

[missmentelle]

About that last ask; /184371235079 - I grew up completely sheltered in an abusive household where this interaction was the norm. I've done that to several people I've dated - I didn't know it was manipulation, because I have abandonment issues and little understanding of verbal or written language. I'm in therapy for my illness. I have bad communication skills because I'm on the spectrum. What are some healthy ways to describe when I'm struggling with feeling abandoned and I need reassurance?

(This is in reference to a recent ask where the poster’s boyfriend had accused her of not loving him, tried to dump her and then nearly proposed marriage in the same conversation)

 I’m really sorry to hear that you had that kind of upbringing. It can be extremely difficult to recognize that certain behaviours are not okay if they were consistently presented to you as “normal” when you were growing up - and that’s definitely compounded when you have other issues with your communication and social skills. The good news is, these behaviours can be recognized and they can be changed, in ways that allow you to happier, healthier relationships. So if you consistently struggle with insecurity and you don’t want to be manipulative or abusive to your partner, remember:

Separate jealous and insecure actions from feelings. It is okay to feel jealous or to feel insecure. We’re all human, we all have those kinds of feelings, and we’re entitled to our emotions. What we’re not entitled to is to take those emotions out on our partners. It’s fine to sometimes worry about whether your partner is attracted to you; it’s not okay to accuse your partner of wanting to leave you. Not all feelings need to be acted upon - sometimes, it’s important to recognize “hey, I’m feeling this way, but it really wouldn’t be fair of me to take this out on my partner. I need to find a way to deal with this on my own”. 

Take responsibility for your own insecurity. There is a huge, huge difference between saying “I am feeling insecure and I need extra reassurance right now” and telling your partner “you don’t actually love me”. In the first example, you are taking responsibility for your own feelings and communicating that you are the one experiencing a problem; in the second example, you are dumping all of your issues on your partner and treating them as if they’ve done something wrong. That’s not fair to them. It’s important to both recognize and communicate that you are the source of these feelings - because of your past experiences, traumas, mental illnesses, or all of the above - and that your partner isn’t the cause of the problem. 

Communicate your needs ahead of time. If you know that you tend to struggle with insecurity in relationships, don’t hide the problem until it boils over into a big fight. Talk to your partner about the issue ahead of time, so that the two of you can find ways to make the relationship more comfortable for you. Think carefully about what you need in a relationship to make you feel loved. What would help you feel secure and cared for? Frequent text messages? Daily reminders of your partner’s feelings? Minimizing cell phone use when you’re together? Small public displays of affection? Your partner may not be able to accommodate all of your requests, but together, the two of you should be able to work out some reasonably strategies to keep feelings of abandonment and insecurity to a minimum.

Don’t feed your jealousy or insecurity. Jealousy and insecurity really are monsters; the more you feed them, the bigger they grow. Don’t go hunting for reasons to feel insecure. Stay out of your partner’s phone. Don’t comb through their social media pages multiple times per day. Don’t compare yourself to their exes. Doing these kinds of things only makes insecurities worse, and it starts a vicious cycle - you go on your partner’s phone, you see a friendly text from a friend that makes you feel a little threatened, so you dig further into their privacy, and you uncover more innocent things that set off your suspicions, so you monitor them more closely, and so on… until you eventually reach a point where you basically need to be constantly tracking your partner and getting constant reassurances in order to feel comfortable. That’s not a healthy situation for anyone. And ironically, this kind of behaviour can alienate your partner, which makes you want to track them even more, which pushes them further away, etc. Feeding your insecurities never makes them go away - if only makes them worse. 

Remember that love is not control. Your partner is allowed to have friends - including friends of their preferred gender. They are allowed to spend time with those friends. They are allowed to not share their passwords or phone passcodes with you. When you are negotiating with your partner to try to minimize your abandonment issues, it’s always important to remember that there’s a difference between “reasonable” requests and “controlling” requests. It is fair and reasonable for you to make requests of your partner that concern the relationship and their behaviour toward you - it’s fine to ask for more physical affection, or for brief daily phone calls, or for the two of you to take more selfies together. It’s not okay for you to make requests that limit your partner’s freedoms or privacy - it’s not okay to forbid your partner from seeing certain people, set them a curfew, or demand that they allow you to GPS track their phone. Love is not control. 

Be specific when you raise issues. Telling someone “you don’t love me anymore” or “I bet you’re going to leave me” is not productive - it expresses that you’re not happy, but it doesn’t tell your partner what the problem actually is, or what you need in order to feel more secure in the relationship. Before you have a discussion with your significant other, reflect on your own feelings and try to figure out what is actually bothering you about the relationship. Are you feeling that there is a lack of affection? Are you upset because you haven’t seen as much of your significant other as you would like? Do you feel that they don’t respond to messages as reliably as you would like? Have a conversation about what is specifically causing these feelings, and be prepared for the possibility that you might not get everything you want - relationships are all about compromise. 

Have a signal in place. If you can feel that your insecurities and abandonment issues are going to be particularly bad today, have some sort of way that you can signal that to your partner without lashing out at them. It could be a code word, or a simple statement like “today is a bad day for me”. This lets your partner know that you may need extra affection that day, and that they shouldn’t take any outbursts personally. If there are particular things that help you get through a bad day - favourite music, calling your therapist, going for a walk, etc - plan to also lean on those supports. 

Don’t give ultimatums or threaten the relationship. In the heat of the moment, it can be really, really temping to say something along the lines of “maybe we should just break up”, or “I can’t be in the relationship anymore unless you do X”. It’s basically an emotional trump card - it’s a way to “force” the other person to do what you want them to do, or risk losing the relationship entirely. You might be bluffing, you might not be; either way, ultimatums and threats thrown out in the heat of the moment can seem like an easy way to give yourself an “edge” in the argument, and make the other person cater to your needs. These kinds of tactics, however, are incredibly toxic - you are essentially hijacking the discussion, and emotionally blackmailing your partner into doing what you want. It’s incredibly unfair to your partner, and it makes reasonable conversation impossible. Your partner needs to be able to voice their own concerns and make their perspective heard, and that’s not possible if you go out of your way to make them feel like they’re in danger of getting dumped every time they make you unhappy. Threatening a breakup turns minor discussions into emotional minefields, and it intentionally makes your partner feel like the relationship is built on shifting sand. Don’t do this. If you are going to break up with somebody, think it over carefully, and don’t break up the topic unless you truly mean it. 

Don’t rush into commitment. If you struggle with insecurity, it can be really tempting to try to “lock down” your partner by rushing them into more serious forms of commitment as quickly as you can. Moving in together. Adopting a dog. Getting engaged. Getting pregnant. Consciously or subconsciously, you might feel like you need to entwine your lives early on, to make it as difficult as possible for your partner to possibly leave you. Rushing someone into commitment, though, is almost always a mistake. Many of the big “relationship milestones” are huge responsibilities, and it’s enormously stressful to try to manage joint finances and responsibilities with someone you barely know. There’s a reason why most couples wait for an extended period of time before taking these steps together - it can take a while for two people to get comfortable with each other and figure out if they are truly compatible. And trying to rush someone into commitment before they are ready is emotionally manipulative as well; it can be very easy to start blackmailing someone by implying that they don’t really love you or they aren’t really an adult if they aren’t willing to move in together three months into the relationship.

Don’t look for malicious intent or feed negative thought spirals. There are multiple ways to interpret a person’s words or behaviors. Being in a healthy relationship often requires that you give your partner the benefit of the doubt, and choose not to interpret their actions in a malicious way. If your partner doesn’t text you back quickly, you have to choose to believe that they are just busy - and you have to choose not to tell yourself that they are intentionally ignoring you because they hate you, or that they are flirting with someone else. If your partner hangs out with their attractive friend, you have to believe that they are just friends, instead of letting yourself get suspicious of their relationship. Giving in to negative thoughts and suspicions can cause downward thought spirals, where “they haven’t texted me in an hour” can quickly turn into “they never loved me and they have been faking our whole relationship”. Don’t let your brain go there. Give them the benefit of the doubt, even when it’s hard. 

Have coping mechanisms outside of your partner. It can be really easy to decide that because your insecurities are about your partner, that it is your partner’s job to comfort you. But that’s just not true. Constantly turning to your partner for reassurances can start to get exhausting for them, and it leaves you at risk of panicking if you can’t get ahold of them for some reason. Have other coping mechanisms. This is absolutely vital for the health of any relationship - have hobbies, friends, and activities outside of your partner that you can turn to when you are stressed and upset, even if the relationship is what you’re upset about. When you have healthy coping mechanisms in place, you can deal with the worst of your emotional upset in a constructive way, and get to a place where you can have a calm, reasoned discussion with your partner. 

It’s important to remember that healthy relationships take work - everyone slips up from time to time, and that’s okay. It’s important to own your mistakes, apologize for any harm caused, and keep on working to better yourself. It’s also important to remember that relationships are a two-way street; if you’re making an effort to have a healthy relationship but the other person is not, you might be better off cutting your losses and seeking out a new partner who is more willing to try to live by these ideas. 

Best of luck to you!

[annersaidthething]

I was catching up with friends this evening, and one of them made a comment about how our bodies decline physically after 25 and he was worrying about that. I'm still thinking about that conversation. I've got a few chronic health conditions that have really hit me hard this year, to the extent that they're massively impacting my daily life and activities I'm able to do. The doctors assure me that things will probably, hopefully improve in time with rest and rehab, which is difficult, since I'm in the habit of not resting when I need to and it's finally catching up with me (and probably exacerbated these underlying conditions, as did getting covid). Point being, that right now my body feels pretty goddamn declined, and I'm not coping super well with it. I didn't really know what to say to him, since I'm not sure he realises the extent of things at the moment (we're all in different cities).

I tried to joke about it that my body is already declined and he joked back that it's only downhill from here and that's fine really because he couldn't know but god that hurt. That's what I'm most afraid of right now. That things won't get better, that they'll get worse. And I can't know if they will or won't. A new medication they put me on has been working, but it's early days and progress is excruciatingly slow, and I can't know that it will continue that way or not. And I'm so scared. I'm terrified of getting more sick and being unable to do even basic life tasks. I'm still able to shower every day, but it exhausts me and I have to lie down afterwards every time.

But I couldn't reach out and tell him that. There's no external reason why not really. Just that growing up, my mother's love was conditional, and her support for my pain was conditional on me packaging it in a way she could deal with, and I couldn't package the pain right in that moment where he'd understand but it wouldn't make him and my other friends uncomfortable. It just turns into a stupid pissing contest of he's not allowed to be worried about future stuff because I've got it worse right now, which is ridiculous. Or it's a pity party of how sick I am, and what are they going to do with that. So I just sat there, with the grief of my body betraying me and preventing me from doing so much, along with the grief about my upbringing and my inability to reach out and ask for support.

Part of me thinks it's pointless because how could he understand. What could he do. What could anyone do to help. It just makes everyone feel bad. It's not going to make my joints stop hurting and give me my breath back and stop my heart from being damaged if I push things too much. It's not going to allow me to go for long walks like I used to, or swim, or dance, or be able to just go out without rationing time and steps and energy. But I don't know how not to push, or better put, how to only push a little bit, well within my limits. If I don't push myself to my breaking point to justify my place in the world and my worth to the people I care about, how can I possibly exist, how can I possibly ask anything of anyone?

What's the point of bringing the mood down when nothing anyone does or says can make it better? Other than being heard I suppose. But what right to I have to be heard at the cost of their happiness in that moment? I don't know. If you're reading this then I've already done that to you, inflicted a portion of my anguish onto you, and I'm sorry. Don't read this. It's not worth it. But I had to say it to someone.

[takecharge]

Spoons - why I think spoon language should be reserved for specific communities

This may end up being an unpopular post, because no one likes to be told not to say something they find useful, but it's something I think about a lot so here goes.

If you aren't a sufferer of chronic illness, disability or disease (I'm including mental illness here) I'd like you to consider not using spoon language. I'm not the disability police, so you have to decide what counts. When I say well people in this post I mean those without chronic illness, chronic pain, chronic depression, or disabilities. I'm not trying to establish these terms as how this language should be used, I'm just trying to be clear in this post.

If you don't know what I mean by spoon language or have no idea why I'd object to others using this language please read this

I'll wait.

The quick Tl:Dr on this article is that the writer was trying to explain what having lupus is like. She was explaining what it meant to have to make choices on how to get done what others consider trivial tasks: showering, washing her hair etc, with a limited amount of what I've been calling up-time. How she has to choose daily what to get done knowing what the task will cost her on that day and days to come.

I hear people use the spoon language frequently to describe what I'd call cope. We all, no matter how well we are, have limited amounts of energy and time. We all have to decide if we have time to put clothes away or do the dishes. We all get exhausted by stressful emotional encounters and might need to decide not to go to a party to handle our stress level and recoup. This is the human condition. This is why the spoon theory resonated with many well people as well as the spoonie community.

I think, though, that when well people using spoon language, the whole point of the writer's effort to explain the condition of being chronically ill his being lost. When her friend realized the stress of spoon accounting, she was stunned by how much very normal every day activities cost her friend. The goal here wasn't to illicit pity, it was to generate an understanding of the way chronically ill and I'd dare say chronically depressed people live their lives.

I'm going to go into some detail right now of how spoon, cope and time-energy accounting I do daily. I want to stress that for me pain is the only limitation. I have no range of motion issues, no bad joints, no extreme muscle weakness. I can literally do any thing you think a well person can do. And I still have to do this math because sitting, standing, and walking make my pain worse.

I've been wearing makeup to work daily for weeks. I do this at the cost of extra pain and not having the up-time to put away my clothes or the dishes. I do it because it decreases the amount of times I need to reassure my colleagues. Reassuring my colleagues costs me cope. Putting on makeup costs me spoons. The two are not equivalent any more than a bowl of cherries is equivalent to I've cream, but I make the choice between the two anyway.

I don't wash my hair daily, I wear a uniform to avoid having to choose clothes and do the closet dance in the morning. There are days I don't shower because if I do I won't be able to handle the Lyft ride to work. Yup, my Lyft ride costs me spoons, just not as many as taking public transit. It also costs me money.

Does the difference between cope, time-energy, and spoons seem more obvious to you based on my explanation? Maybe not, so here's a few more examples.

Every time I sit up for a meeting or lunch or any other activity, my pain gets worse. It stays worse even if I lie down for quite a while afterwards. Sometimes that's worth it for me because I get cope back from eating with a friend or having a more meaningful dialogue at work because I'm seeing someone's body language. But the pain cost is real. As the day goes on, my body will stop handling the pain cost gracefully. My face will tense, the pain will shoot into my legs. Once that happens it takes hours of lying down and gives l focusing on relaxing to reduce that pain crisis state. So everytime I stand in the hallway waiting for that colleague that can't be reached any other way, my fuse to pain crisis burns a bit more.

My pain obviously also costs me cope. But the key point here, to me, is how every day and seemingly trivial things involve me having to make choices to avoid pain crises. Today my hair looks dirty. I'm embarrassed. I should have washed it, but I didn't realize how bad it was until I'd done all the things I could have given up to wash it.

My goal here is to show that the spoons essay was huge for the chronically ill, disabled, and chronic depressive communities. We finally had something to point to when we wanted someone to get what our lives are like. And I think like many other terms that originally belonged to a marginalized community, it would be great if our allies could stop using it to refer to time-energy or cope decisions. Because those of us with chronic illness, chronic depression, disabilities may have to do cope accounting, time-energy accounting AND spoons accounting. And by making the term mean cope or time-energy, you rob this community of a way for us to express concerns unique to itself.