#all my thoughts have been ishmael.

[alfazoings]

becoming like the one you sought out revenge for

[mosscrab]

mgsv has so many literary references to books i have essays abt it kind of makes me.

[cheriboms]

i do not remember moby dick being this gay

[hedgehog-moss]

do you have recommendations for introspective fiction? :) i've been craving for something for my brain to much on that will also cause me pain, but i honestly have no clue where to get that. any advice?

Hello! I had trouble finding ideas at first because all the introspective & thought-provoking books that came to mind were nonfiction (diaries, etc—especially when it comes to women writers) but here are 10 suggestions, with excerpts :) Note that I took your "cause me pain" request seriously; these are not exactly feel-good reads.

Steppenwolf, Herman Hesse Man is not capable of thought in any high degree, and even the most spiritual and highly cultivated of men habitually sees the world and himself through the lenses of delusive formulas and artless simplifications—and most of all himself. For it appears to be an inborn ... need of all men to regard the self as a unit. In reality, however, every ego ... is in the highest degree a manifold world, a constellated heaven, a chaos of forms, of states and stages, of inheritances and potentialities. It appears to be a necessity as imperative as ... breathing for everyone to be forced to regard this chaos as a unity and to speak of his ego as though it were a one-fold and clearly detached and fixed phenomenon. Even the best of us shares the delusion.

Notes From Underground, Fyodor Dostoevsky Why, suffering is the sole origin of consciousness. Though I did lay it down at the beginning that consciousness is the greatest misfortune for man, yet I know man prizes it and would not give it up for any satisfaction. Consciousness, for instance, is infinitely superior to twice two makes four. Once you have mathematical certainty there is nothing left to do or to understand. There will be nothing left but to bottle up your five senses and plunge into contemplation.

The Book of Disquiet, Fernando Pessoa I asked for very little from life, and even this little was denied me. A nearby field, a ray of sunlight, a little bit of calm along with a bit of bread, not to feel oppressed by the knowledge that I exist, not to demand anything from others, and not to have others demand anything from me — this was denied me, like the spare change we might deny a beggar not because we're mean-hearted but because we don't feel like unbuttoning our coat.

Ishmael, Daniel Quinn All sorts of creatures on this planet appear to be on the verge of attaining self-awareness and intelligence. We were never meant to be the only players on that stage. [But] man is the first of all these. He is the trailblazer, the pathfinder. [….] Man’s place in the world is to be the first without being the last. Man’s place is to figure out how it’s possible to do that—and then to make room for all the rest who are capable of becoming what he’s become.

The Lady and the Little Fox Fur, Violette Leduc Her hope was stored in a safe place. On tiptoe, avidly, she gazed through the windows. ... She was filled with a fixed determination to pay the next month’s rent, to sally forth once more to the pawnbroker’s, to offer him the clothes off her back, to sell her teeth, ... but at all costs to go on living against the panes of strangers’ windows. She bumped into women hurriedly buying food for their dinners; she was breathing the oxygen meant for people who had spent their day working. To cry out that it was impossible for her to begin her life all over again would be useless.

The Last Summer of Reason, Tahar Djaout The city with the many forms of iridescence that once danced on the foam ... is now a field of merciless thorns. Love is a recumbent effigy, a dead tree. Song flees into exile. ... Books—the closeness of them, their contact, their smell, and their contents—constitute the safest refuge against this world of horror. They are the most pleasant and the most subtle means of traveling to a more compassionate planet.

The Royal Game, Stefan Zweig They did nothing—other than subjecting us to complete nothingness. For, as is well known, nothing on earth puts more pressure on the human mind than nothing. ... There was nothing here that could release me from my thoughts, from my obsession with them, from my pathological reiteration of them. And that was exactly what they intended: I was to choke and choke on my thoughts until they asphyxiated me.

Dawn, Elie Wiesel [Words] serve only to give meaning to our actions. And our actions, seen in their true and primitive light, have the odor and color of blood. This is war, we say; we must kill. ... And what else can we do? War has a code, and if you deny this you deny its whole purpose and hand the enemy victory on a silver platter. That we can’t afford. We need victory, victory in war, in order to survive, in order to remain afloat on the surface of time.

Darkness at Noon, Arthur Koestler All our principles were right, but our results were wrong. This is a diseased century. We diagnosed the disease and its causes with microscopic exactness, but wherever we applied the healing knife a new sore appeared. Our will was hard and pure, we should have been loved by the people. But they hate us. Why are we so odious and detested? ... Whenever had a good cause been worse represented? When and where in history had there ever been such defective saints?

All the Lovers in the Night, Mieko Kawakami The job that I was doing, the place where I was living, the fact that I was all alone and had no one to talk to. Could these have been the result of some decision that I’d made? I heard a crow crying somewhere in the distance and turned to the window. It occurred to me that maybe I was where I was today because I hadn’t chosen anything. I had faked it the whole way. ... I was so scared of failing, of being hurt, that I chose nothing. I did nothing.

[burningvelvet]

I finished Moby Dick. So, to continue my former post(s) documenting my thoughts, here we are (spoilers ahead):

captain ahab: i am once again asking hast thou seen the white whale

Narrator, for the 5 millionth time describing captain ahab: "MONOMANIACAL. MONOMANIAC. MONOMANIA."

I was thinking "the homosexual themes everyone talks about are really exaggerated apparently…" and then I got to the chapter about sperm squeezing

Stubb meeting with the French in chap 91 had the exact vibe of a filler episode on a comedy sitcom

there are a lot of moments that reminded me of The Office ngl like i could just imagine stubb in the little interview chair just talking. so much meme material. he's seriously just doing his own thing. the little random characters like the blacksmith and carpenter just talking shit and side-eyeing ahab in the background lmaoooo

Saint George didn't kill a dragon, it was a whale #THETRUTHREVEALED #WHALETRUTHERS

It would have been hilarious if the British people told Ahab that they already killed Moby Dick already before he could get to it. I was so hoping that would happen. Bonus points if it was the Rachel after he'd turned them away.

Ahab discusses the topic of madness a lot. It's almost like he's… mad...

I vote Ahab for the most Byronic hero to ever Byronic… Heathcliff and Rochester have nothing on him… The origin of the Byronic hero, Byron's titular character from the narrative poem Childe Harold, is literally mentioned by name in the novel and had to be a blatant inspiration - it could not be more obvious! (I have yet to encounter the famed Byronic heroes of Russian literature, most notably Eugene Onegin, a work where Byron is also blatantly name-dropped).

Everyone thinking Queequeg was dying and having a coffin made to his measurements and filled with grave goods at his direction and then him literally climbing into the coffin to test it out and then waiting silently to die…. then all of a sudden getting better and saying he chose to recover bc he remembered he had something on his to-do list….. iconic

Ishmael referring to Queequeg as "my Queequeg…" omg. Queerqueg

Queequeg drawing figures like the ones on his tattoos omg… au story where Queequeg is an artist/tattoo artist when???

I was literally saying "AWWWWW" out loud when Ahab and Pip were having their little moments

The irony of Ahab abandoning the Rachel then it coming back for Ishmael… the coffin lifeboat… etc… good stuff…

okay ahab is my man but yeah he was an asshole to the captain of rachel.

also feel bad for tashtego. he wanted that gold doubloon so bad and ahab was like SIKE, MOTHERFUCKER! umm tashtego did not get cut out of a whale by queequeg to deal with ur shit ahab!

Once again wanting a Black Sails/Moby Dick AU… I found this essay about the similarities between Flint/Ahab https://ijms.nmdl.org/article/view/22389/14361

They only have like 2-3 little moments together but like… Starbuck/Ahab kind of outdoing Ishmael/Queequeg there for a moment… chaps 132/134… oh my godddddddddddddd whyyyyyyy

Captain Ahab's moments in chapters 36/37 AAAAAHHHHH you will see me being normal about this

I noted some of my favorite Ahab moments/chapters and they are 36/37/41/70/99/108/109/113/115/116/119/125/129/132/134/135. Like I may seriously just re-read those chapters (no offense to Melville's whale facts, Stubb's jokes, & Pip's insanity)

the end is kind of similar to the great gatsby in the sense that you finally realize the entire novel was actually written for him to cope with his grief-related trauma & then suddenly it all makes sense. the lingering, the sentimentality regarding seemingly insignificant details or people, the meandering/digressing/procrastinating getting to the end, etc.

there are actually several moments -- i don't know if he actually referred to ahab or the others in past-tense specifically, but there were several moments where i felt like i kind of thought he was giving away the end before he did (it wasn't a shock to me bc i read about the end prior, but still)

[strobbylemonade]

unorganised canto vii pt 2 thoughts and spoilers

sinclair's getting bullied fuck yeah

rodya moments. i love her. also it's really funny seeing the main story go "rodion is not an important person" and then we get dulcinea rodya

lots of talk about family... heathcliff admitting he sees the lcb as his family was really sweet....

OK HONG LU'S NAME IS BAOYU. INTERESTING.

"if something bad were to happen to your sister in front of your eyes" like what, gregor. getting eaten by an apple. anyways i was so sure xichun was going to die at some point, i was trying so hard to keep her alive during the dulcinea fight in case her dying was scripted or something!!! (i got to the end with xichun on 5hp)

anyways. shoutout to the outfits they're putting the women in during the plays. i cheered when ryoshu came in she looks so hot. ishmael please show up in pt 3.

this was really sweet i love them so much

after i slept on it, there's some stuff going on here

a: some kind of frau eva situation going on here? sanson is connected to demian in some way and presumably the bookhunter (bari?) has the mark of cain. b: sinclair wanting to be like the image of don quixote, while most of what we see of sancho is her wailing about how she doesn't want to go on an adventure.

really interesting how the concept of death and suicide comes up in a lot of cantos, like we know gregor's barely hanging on by a thread (his passive is called "forced survival"), yi sang admits to the worst day of his life being the one where he found out his contract made him immortal, ishmael wanting her "life as it is to end", and then dante realising they're not willing to die. and heathcliff. well. erlking heath's technically dedicated his life to killing himself. i always get something new out of every time they revisit the topic.

bari/the bookhunter is SUUUCH an interesting addition. to my knowledge, she's not a character from the original story? and the way she talks to sancho and her Father, encouraging ideas of grandiosity and not stopping sancho from drinking from the lake??? WHO ARE YOU????

also outis knows the name of the lake of the underworld... inch resting... from how much she spoke in canto v, and odysseus dying by drowning in dante's inferno, i wonder where in the odyssey the main story takes place.

again dante's biggest fear is losing the bond the sinners have built with each other...

brief detour to talk about dante:

they've been a looooot less active this canto, going back to canto 3 levels of "i sorta want to help them but i don't know what to do" and only stepping in when things get really intense. i think in canto v and vi, they had queequeg and cathy as guidance as to what to do (or what not to do in cathy’s case), because they’re people that cared about their respective sinners and dante’s entire job and motivation to help their sinners find their way.

in canto v and vi, they also paralleled someone else in the sinners’ life, e.g. ishmael wanting to go on a new adventure with dante after losing queequeg, and both cathy and dante pushing heathcliff away from the destructive fate of erlking. however, donqui doesn’t have anyone in her life. she outright says she has no family, and dante notes that nobody even listens to her talk most of the time. where i think dante steps in is that they’re meant to parallel don quixote herself, the all-powerful amnesiac with a heart of gold, where all they remember is the vague promise of something they no longer remember (for dante, their aspect, and donqui, it’s dante themselves)... i hope. and since we're already getting a lot of sinclair attention this canto as well, i hope it's a situation where they look back on themselves dying on the mountain of bodies and lamenting that they let another one of their sinners fall into despair before they did something.

anyways. back to the sinner of the hour SHE'S SO HANDSOME????? I KNOW THIS IS NOT THE TIME BUT OH MY GOD??? THE GASP I GUSP????

anyone else hear that ominous bell tolling????🤣🤣🤣 no?? just me??????😭😭😭😭😭😭

OKAY BUT HER EYES!!! DULCINEA WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT SHE'S LITERALLY GORGEOUS. in all seriousness, dante also comments on how donqui's bloodfiend eyes are always looking down on everything else around her, so i really do wonder what was behind the door in the past to make her look so wonderstruck.

also i'm really glad that the cg artist seems to have really fallen back into what made the LoR cgs so gorgeous as well, ever since warp express the characters and colours have really become a lot more vibrant and dynamic. i really hope that means they're not too overworked anymore.

alright. one more week until we get mili + donqui pass on! let's go!!! things i'm still waiting for:

dante & donqui moment together PLEASE COME ON PLEASE

vergilius showing up again / finding out what their contract entailed or how they met (maybe a sinner plays vergilius at some point??? he and ishmael got a lot in common. please)

i swear to god i head a musical cue from man of la mancha in one of the bgms this canto but i might be making it up. so if i am making it up, man of la mancha musical reference in either the mili song or bgm

[mythicalwatch101]

reading through the main story again and man now i have some thoughts™ about Dante & their characterization

in canto 3 when they were talking to Vergilius near the beginning, he referred to pre-clock Dante as a “bigwig”. and when they were being attacked in the prologue, lion said something about not getting a second chance to kill someone of this caliber. so. it’s obvious they used to be someone important

they were probably mean!! an asshole!!! i wouldn’t be surprised, with what Faust said in canto 4 about wondering how they would react once they had their memories back, after they told the sinners to suppress the brazen bull

also these lines, when they were talking to Lion, Wolf, and Panther in the prologue:

“You dare… interrupt me just as I was engraving the ■■■■■■… You must be out of your…”

“Kngh… Just wait ‘til I get the ■■■■■■… You’ll be no match for my…”

makes them sound kind of full of themselves. VERY confident in whatever plan is being enacted here. they’re hot shit and they know it

this city is Fucked Up and i’m sure, regardless of what kind of position Dante had before, they had to climb over a few shoulders to get there

and then post-clock Dante. complete blank slate. they don’t know shit about fuck. the “nurture” of their personality has been wiped clean, free of the city’s influence, all that’s left is the “nature”, who Dante is at their core

and they’re NICE

at the end of canto 3, everyone is dead, Dante themselves is dying, and what they decide to do in what could’ve been their last moments is to comfort Sinclair, to tell him that even if everything that happened was his fault, he shouldn’t beat himself up about it

and then in canto 4 when the sinners are talking about how convenient the healing ampules are, they mention that Dante only heals them after they’ve died. “scared of a little hurting”, as Ryoshu put it. and then when Ishmael gets hit by that decay ampule they’re, understandably, worried about her. everyone standing around talking about how fucked up it all is and they’re the only one who really gives a shit about Ishmael melting to death

Outis is like “Ah, apologies for my negligence, Executive Manager. I failed to consider the suffering you must endure when you turn the clock” and then Dante is like. that’s not what i’m talking about. and the moment Ishmael shows fear they immediately rewind the clock to heal her even though no one’s died yet

anyway. all that to say—i love you, dante. i love you, choosing to be kind. i love you, inherent kindness of human beings

[ranticore]

Chapter 3 - To Be Phocid [Qedivar's research]

It's that time again. Ishmael is a teenage boy, fair warning.

I'm posting this on mobile so I cba linking the previous chapters but go into the siren tag to find them.

x

Following these events, and at Maris’s insistence, Ishmael began to keep a journal. To the delight of this author, his writing was deep, introspective, and highly detailed. From now on, I no longer had to rely on pieced together scraps and reports, but from a primary source. As such, the way these events are related will shift a little, but that is only for events concerning Ishmael.

Cherta, unfortunately, did not keep a journal at this time and remains frustratingly opaque, given Ishmael’s somewhat biased recounting of their activities. Although one must concede to the difficulties of keeping a journal underwater, before the age of sub-aquatic writing systems, and with eighteen other overambitious adolescents in relatively close proximity.

Ishmael’s journal was recorded on a computerified device and was not written by hand, though his deep dream education had serviced to educate him in handwriting skills. This was tested when he was younger, as part of an evaluation to determine the extent of his dexterity. Although the notion of a form of writing which is stored in a purely hypothetical space is very odd, especially in its permanency, it has enabled us to access his thoughts at this day and age, whereas traditional aquatic knot-writing would have long since rotted away.

He wrote in the language of the Predecessors, which I believe to be the root of all air-speaking language families. The translation of these texts is what has taxed me more than any other part of this process, aside from the grievous bodily harm, and it has taken a fantastic span of time to achieve this translation. I cannot credit my sources for fear of implicating them but you can be assured that the finest minds of the Spire collaborated on this project. This Predecessor tongue is what is spoken in all of the videos, enabling me to learn it to a conversational level, though I am hardly fluent.

Some of the journal is rendered untranslatable due to it referring to objects or concepts which were considered common knowledge at the time, requiring no additional definition. These concepts or objects will be clearly marked. However, I believe much of the text to be familiar to many people, telling of the frustration and longing common and recognisable today. That said, I believe it is also important not to take for granted the relatability.

Ishmael is not always familiar to us and existed in a time we would find nigh incomprehensible. Do not take this as reason to doubt his interiority or personhood, and do not fall into the trap of believing that you would have done better in his place, that you would have seen clearly what he obviously did not (and had good reason not to). They may have been phocids, or the predecessors of phocids, but they were new. If you were the first of your kind, could you do better?

I will now present the text in chronological order, starting from the eve of his sixteenth birthday:

-

Entry 1 – I hate seeing that baby siphonid. It’s still moving. It drags itself around on the leg the researchers didn’t take. Now I’m just going to remember this forever, since I wrote it down. Great. I hate that fucking noise. Why can’t they just get it to shut up?

Thank [deity]. They took it away.

Update – it didn’t even taste good.

-

Entry 2 - Maris told me to talk more about my feelings. What does she know? Nobody understands me anyway. I don’t think they can feel all that on their face like me. The sipho noise kept touching me. The researchers are always talking about hydrofoils and antennae but I bet they don’t know what I do - how the siphos talk to each other. I told Callum and he didn’t know what I meant, even though he has a beard.

Talked to Lee again about sex since Dan said he wouldn’t tell me himself. I don’t think Lee told the truth about a lot of that stuff. The other kids sometimes joke around a bit too much, but it is kinda funny I guess.

Update - Dan shouted at me for asking, but now I have proof Lee was wrong.

-

Entry 3 – The phocids click at each other underwater with their tongues.

Dan got so angry after I pulled my face hair out. He made the interns [untranslatable] search my room for the hairs and they actually found them. They didn’t even do anything with it, just put it in a bag and sealed it away. Looks like nobody wants it at all. Dan says Atom spent 120 billion nua making me, so I think one face hair is worth a few million. If I started selling them to the people outside the lab, I could buy my own stake of land on Siren just like them. I wouldn’t let Lee in. My fingers are probably worth a couple billion each.

Should I

-

Entry 4 – Emer (the intern) looked at me like I did something wrong when she changed my pillowcases.

Spilled bile EVERYWHERE when they were testing me. I keep thinking about somehow saving it and trying to sell it. I’m supposed to be a digestive model for Siren food, so my insides are probably worth a lot. I should ask Dan when he calms down.

Callum came around to talk to Dan again. He’s getting really tall, he’s taller than me now even when I stand up straight. He’s so skinny, like the baby siphonids (I can snap one in half with just my teeth now). When Callum was there, he didn’t want to look at me, but I get it. They didn’t even cook the siphonid this time, it was raw and with the shell on. His leg is the same width as one of them.

Emer won’t stop changing my pillowcases. Is there a way to prevent them from smelling like that?? Callum hasn’t been around so I can’t ask. Maris thinks it’s just because people my age start getting sweaty but Dan specifically told me he made me not have sweat glands anywhere but my hands. Then he said the phocids do have sweat glands. I still don’t get the point of sweating if you’re already a stupid wet rat who lives in the

-

Entry 5 – I’m seventeen now. Since I’m an adult, I decided to stop being reticent around the phocids. I want to know if they found a comfortable way to walk without the skin coming off their tails. So I went to talk to them today for the first time. There is a window where you can do it, they let it open ever since the climate control got busted again last month.

Cherta is really weird. I knew they couldn’t stay in the pool for very long because they might have a seizure but apparently it can happen any time, not just underwater. They have a button implant that makes their muscles relax. Anyway, their tails have thicker skin than mine so that was useless. But it is still worthwhile, I think, to meet with the phocids. They remind me why I am a human, and they are not. I kind of pity them because all they're ever going to be is a bunch of test subjects in a tiny swimming pool.

Cherta told me that one of the phocids died a year ago. I don’t remember Dan ever talking about it to me, but they said it was a big deal. Apparently they got pressure sickness when climate control broke the first time. I think Cherta broke it the second time, they sounded too proud to mention it. I don’t get it. Anyway, breaking stuff in the lab is against the rules and I think I’m going to tell Dan about that.

-

Entry 6 – I made the right choice. Cherta got so angry when they found out I told on them that they had another seizure. The other phocids had to pull them out of the pool. Dan thought I did the right thing but I don’t think he liked me going to tell Cherta about it afterwards, told me no one likes a snitch. Well, then, what am I supposed to do? Just let it happen? I hope Cherta chokes on that gross pool water next time.

Dan suggested I go do something other than visit the phocids and I agree, they’re clearly not worth my time. I went to see Callum instead but he wasn’t in. He has a games console, I saw him show it off to Lee the other day. I wonder if he’d let me try it.

[End of Journal Entries]

-

It paints an interesting picture. As Ishmael mentions, Cherta suffered permanent neurological issues as a result of their birth mishaps. This was a point of contention within the lab, beyond Ishmael’s knowledge; the finance manager of the settlement questioned the wisdom of keeping a test subject in an aquatic locomotion study group who could not spend much time underwater. Every time, however, Dan Loris would respond that Cherta now provided essential information about phocid neurology and drowning mechanisms.

The phocid whose death Ishmael mentions was number seventeen, Ambla. It is highly likely that number seventeen’s death was accidental, but the circumstances were not caused by a failure of the lab’s climate system.

I have found the experimental notes from that day; Ambla was brought to an isolated chamber which was controlled by the climate system, with its own test pool, and the quality of the atmosphere was changed to match that of the Precursor home planet. The force of gravity was thus increased. What the Humans did not expect was Ambla’s sudden inability to swim to the surface. They inhaled water, which settled in their lungs and caused them to drown even after they had been pulled out of the pool.

Dan expressed grief in his notes, and surprise. He did not understand why such a thing would occur and blamed the climate system for somehow altering the test beyond his parameters. This is likely what led to Cherta’s misconception that the climate system had killed one of their friends, and their subsequent sabotage of the climate system every few months after that.

But any phocid or selkie reading this will intimately recognise the problem, and I believe the mystery of Ambla’s death may now be solved. The water taken to fill the pool was likely Tel!am’s Blood, a phenomenon all sea-faring people will know about. The Precursors, it seemed, were unfamiliar with it, and had pumped water in to the pool which nobody could swim in. But with the increased gravity, even the fittest phocid would struggle to rise in shallow water.

Regardless, there exists a substantial gap between that last journal entry and the next. Almost a year, in fact, when Ishmael did not write at all, and neither did he participate in Maris’s therapy sessions. I do, however, have a copy of Callum’s journal with me which provides at least half of the narrative, incomplete as it is.

[enkephallic]

My Thoughts (And Problems) About Canto 6

Now that I've finished my second read of Canto 6 and sorted out my thoughts, I think it's time I organize my thoughts about it.

I finished it with very mixed feelings - as someone who likes Heathcliff, both as a character and shipped with other people, I was left with a sense of frustration. At first I chalked it up to the feelings of "Great, how the hell do I ship Heathcliff with anyone without going through 4-D NTR?" and "My god, what did they do to Cathy?"

But after reading a second time, I realized my issue wasn't "defanged" Cathy or even what they did with their relationship.

It was the complete lack of comradeship and support the other Sinners gave him.

The Sinners are shown getting closer to each other, arguing and making up. Gregor and Rodya comforts a sobbing Sinclair, Donki pummels him to calm him down. Hong Lu casually points out that Yi Sang must have been "pleading for help all along". The whole thing with Ishmael and Heathcliff from Canto 5, as well as the other Sinners unlucky enough to stand in the path of her rage.

Canto 6 started out strong. Hong Lu and Rodya do Heathcliff's hair for him. They all chat in the bus and at the gates. We see the other Sinners reacting to new information about Heathcliff.

That all ends as soon as they enter the manor. The Sinner-Sinner interactions are thrown out, leaving Heathcliff to interact with his abusers and navigate his grief (which Only Meursault commented on) by himself. The argument of "Perhaps the other Sinners wanted to give him space" can be made, but there are other ways to show the Sinners' indignation and care for him. The likes of Rodya, who knows exactly how horrible rich people are, would have been a prime candidate to voice out her annoyances ("Gee, all those words just to say they hate poor people").

And honestly, I think Heathcliff needed the most verbal and emotional support out of everyone. He's been dehumanized and abused his whole childhood, internalizing what he's been told no matter how hard he fought against it. On several occasions he remarks about his own violent tendencies and "maybe I was born wrong after all" - and the Sinners say nothing to deny it.

The amount of times he put himself down, or others did it for him, was starkly visible in Canto 6. To the point where each time no one said anything to stand up for him, it felt like an injustice. By the time Dante denies the hurtful words and ideals thrust upon him, Heathcliff's already felt the Carmen touch.

That was another similar issue I bumped into - I couldn't find any fault in Heathcliff's words and actions, right up until he left Wuthering Heights. And the narrative towards the end didn't really seem to agree with that.

We're shown how horribly Heathcliff was treated for the whole canto. No one stood up for him. His sole reason for staying in a highly abusive environment was Cathy, and his hope for their relationship. Losing that, in a misunderstanding-but-not-really, gives him no reason to stay. (I still feel like "I could marry Linton to make Heathcliff a better person" is extremely misguided and detrimental to him.)

Cathy is shown on multiple occasions to be manipulative and a victim of well meaning naivety/stupidity, which seems to parallel Carmen. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, and I don't think the audience needs to be told in blaring letters that she's not a good person. But the final part of the Canto seemed to implicitly place responsibility on Heathcliff - the narrative focusing on "I should have stayed, I should have talked" while completely glossing over their unequal dynamics and abuse feels like undue blame.

And even if it's not the intention, it unfortunately comes off that way ("I've wrecked everything with my hesitation - It's time for me to fix what I've wrecked", "All I had to do was get over the embarrassment and talk to her"). What exactly did he ruin, which his abusers and external factors hadn't broken at least halfway? How do you show the full extent of his abuse and mistreatment, and still find a way to shift this much responsibility onto him?

I think the process of adapting Wuthering Heights, which is a tale about racism and classism driving a person to destructive rage, into the PJMverse where this racism cannot be replicated 1:1 partly caused this issue. Heathcliff suffers the same mistreatment and "born wrong" rhetoric that Novel Heathcliff did, but instead of race it's pinned onto his status as a homeless, poor child. Limbus adapts a very large chunk of his abuse - he's lashed, starved, locked out and more. But his story diverges from Novel Heathcliff (who is most definitely an inspiration for Erlcliff) - they have to somehow make things hopeful.

My issue is how Heathcliff was framed to be "fixing what he broke" rather than... any other way they could have framed it. It honestly felt almost whiplash-y, having him constantly berated, distorting, betrayed to just leave all that aside at the end. The last scenes focus so heavily on what Heathcliff could have done differently, while failing to acknowledge that he did what was most reasonable with the knowledge he had.

What the Canto did with Nelly was also... interesting. Her betrayal and abrupt twist wasn't bad on its own, but her actions feel like they were written in a rush. She places equal blame on Heathcliff and Cathy, despite claiming she felt pity for Heathcliff's abusive childhood. She claims they don't deserve happiness because they didn't communicate enough WHILE ACTIVELY BURNING HEATHCLIFF'S LETTERS. Despite having his only good adult destroyed, Heathcliff still extends forgiveness to her, saying she deserves to write her own story. And she spits in the face of his kindness, because "she wants to give the golden bough to the person who showed her the mirror." Right after Heathcliff proves he can change his fate. Her hate-ability wasn't fun in the way Ahab's was - she became another injustice in Heathcliff's life, which has far too many and is not acknowledged by the other Sinners enough.

In the end, my opinion remains unchanged that Heathcliff did absolutely nothing wrong, and he deserved better than every single person in the manor. I do love the Sinner interactions in Part one, and the numerous book references really made me enjoy my second viewing. If Heathcliff gets a follow-up anytime soon, I hope that someone will acknowledge how much of a saint he is, all things considered.

(Also - why in the world did they autotune his Pass On to hell and back? His voice actor has an amazing singing voice, and the tuning felt like it was taking out the rough edge that makes Heathcliff's charm.)

[limbuscompanysituations]

Tingtang Hong Lu x tired as heck and fed up with everything fixer reader (and were talking vergilous mixed with pre-canto Ishmael levels of tired as heck and fed up with everything)

Scenario: after a hectic day of dealing with clients and their weird ass yet high paying assignments. Reader decides to go to the casino and gamble afew rounds and get a damn drink but while doing so they encounter Hong Lu who then decides to interact with reader as they drink away their stress just because he can. Reader is abit annoyed at Hong Lu suddenly intruding on them out of nowhere but they decide to tolerate it since their in a relationship and they secretly enjoy his company despite not showing it.

(established relationship. Alt title: Tingtang Hong Lu x tired Kuudere fixer reader)

They decide it's their last round on this table, and probably the last few chips they're going to gamble for the night. When they're about to put down their chips on the number of their chooshing, a hand covers theirs and changes the trajectory.

"We're betting on this one!"

"Thirteen red for the lucky couple over there!" The dealer announces, "And bets are closed! Eyes on the roulette, everyone!"

They almost jump out of their skin, half raising a hand to throw a punch and other half almost falling from their seat. Hong Lu puts a hand on their waist and provides them support they didn't ask for.

Out of all people to meet that day... of course. This casino has ties to his gang, so of course he'd be there.

They sigh in defeat, "You better have cash on hand to refund me those chips."

Hong Lu laughs and kisses their cheek, "Just sit and watch~"

The roulette spins quickly, and little by little slows down. It comes to a stop on the thirteenth red number, and the fixer holds their breath in disbelief. They've lost a lot on the tables that night, but that's the first time they win.

The dealer announces the winner and Hong Lu cheerfully collects the hoard of chips in a basket, waving to the dealer and dragging them away by the elbow.

"It is rigged." They finally speak when they're away from the crowd.

"Of course it is~" Hong Lu's expression remains as cheerful as ever, "Do you still want the prize, knowing that?"

They ponder for a moment, "Yeah, I do." They had lost quite the sum of cash in their impulsive gambling. They would be just covering their losses. "Why are you here?"

"I was about to ask you the same. You know better than to come gamble in this place."

The fixer turned their gaze to the floor. In spite of winning a good prize on their last bet, they didn't feel much like a winner. In fact, they felt even more tired than before.

"It's... It's been a long day." They shrug.

Hong Lu nods with a thoughtful expression in his eyes.

They redeem the chips' value on the way out, and Hong Lu doesn't say a word up until they are on the streets outside. The fixer's pockets are a little heavier than when they went into the casino.

Hong Lu suddenly pulls them into a hidden pub, something carefully squeezed between two restaurants that they've never noticed before. It's neither too empty nor too full, and the low lighting makes it hard to discern faces. He has them sit at a corner table and orders two cocktails for them.

"Will you be making all the decisions for me tonight?" They lean on the table with an elbow.

"I wish... but you won't tell me the reason of your troubles."

"It's just work."

"That's not a name~" He grins and gracefully thanks the waiter for serving their drinks, "I can only work with names, so... Was it a coworker? Client? Boss?"

The fixer takes a healthy sip from their cocktail and rolls their eyes.

"No, thanks. I'm not handling this your way."

"I promise my way always yields results."

They sigh, "Yes, but..."

"Besides, if your way of 'handling it' is by gambling and drinking, that's not a sound plan of action."

They glare at him. It is true that their night has been all about drinking and losing money, but still...

"It is what it is." They shrug at last and lower their gaze to their glass. "You shouldn't worry about it anyway."

"I do." He admits without missing a breath, "It pains me to see you in such a state."

For the first time, his peaceful smile turns into a concerned frown. It is almost enough to make them sober up. They place a palm over his on the table, a wry smile on their lips.

"Sucks to be you, because this will be happening pretty often."

His eyes widen for a split-second, and then he chuckles. He holds their hand and kisses it almost reverently, which makes them blush in response.

"Hm... Still, I can't help but find you attractive even now. I am truly lucky to have such a beautiful partner."

They roll their eyes at him, hiding their smile in a palm.

"Yes, sure you are. But instead of showering me with compliments, pay me another drink. My glass is empty already."

[insomnicbypasser]

Hiiiii speaking my thoughts on a certain thing about the newest limbus event make sure to avoid incase of spoilers! I am offically yapping about rodion in this one also so be warned.

You know im constantly thinking about rodion and how she just, doesnt have a yurodivy identity. Its always been a thought in my head how every identity that we get in the game is a possiblility a sinner could have gone down, not just an overlap with exsisting characters. They are afterall from mirror worlds.

Theres n corp sinclair, who gave into his inital disgust of prosthetics and went fully into that realm of dark. The pequod captain ishmael who found herself an almost exact mirror of ahab, fully taken by the madness to hunt what she deemed to be the root of all evil that we saw and the later portion of her canto. Literally most of dons identities share a similar theme of her going into an organization and having her beliefs tested as shown in her n corp, w corp, and her shi association ids.

So why didnt rodion get a yurodivy id instead of her t corp id? The opportunity was right there for the taking, however there was somethings stopping her from getting it. There was the fact that she felt like she did anything to help in actually catching the time ripper, so she didnt get a district 20 yurodivy id bescause hong lu and ryoshu were ACTUALLY like them with their detective work, however i dont think its like that as seen above several sinners have gotten ids that directly go against their current arcs ie: captain ishmael and n corp sinclair. I also think this is the same reason she got a TAX COLLECTOR id of all things, finding herself not only stagnating but also becoming the type of person she would havr MURDERD in cold blood previously.

To me there are two reasons project moon is holding back on a yurodivy id for rodion. Either A: theyre saving it for a theoretical redo of rpdions canto, this time where she actually stands her ground to fully face sonya and give him her true awnser on where she stands, most likely telling him she'll be following the path that dante is leading her down towards instead of the path sonya had laid out for her with the yurodivy. With this she could potentially get either a id where she instead had taken sonya up on his offer, or the most interesting option where rodion had taken up the role of saint for the yurodivy instead of sonya in a sort of captain ishmael or spicebrush yi sang type of id.

And then theres option B: where rodion has yet to get a yurodivy id because there arent any plans to give her a yurodivy id because in EVERY mirror world rodion is always destined to give up her life with the yurodivy. Maybe there will always be a reason for her to leave, a flaw she can never let slide, maybe even a feeling she wont ever address that she wasnt and wont ever be for the yurodivy because they were never ment to be, either they were never doing enough or she could never be enough.

I havent read the book rodion is from, i dont know the first thing about rodions journey through it. All i know is that rodion is a gambling addict, he kills someone, and that sonya helps(?) him get past his vices and sins and even then none of that might not be true i have no idea. What i do know is that in limbus company, rodion has had the constant need to be something. She tried to lead a life in the yurodivy to feel as though she was doing something larger then herself, and when she felt as though they didnt meet her expectations she decided to take things into her own hands and when she looked back on her decisions, she couldnt even tell who she had done them for or whether she was only acting apon her base selfish desires. Then she joined limbus company bus, supposedly to maybe have a wish granted, but also because maybe in this group of losers and vagabonds, she could finally take a large role then what she felt she had when she was in the yurodivy, maybe she could finally make use of her time instead of this rotting stagnation she had been suffering from since she left the yurodivy. But then they fail in their first two missions, she sees sonya for the first time in a while as she plays her first major role in a mission and he is the cause for her failure, even extending an olive branch to her and a place back inside the group she had so quickly left behind when things didnt go so well for her. Then they finally start seeing successes but they come at great losses, being forced to face your traumas, to kill your previous loved ones, to give up your entire motivations for the sake of moving forward and finding your place in the world.

And then we come to t corp itself, rodion finds herself being hand picked for a mission that surely other sinners are more capable of completing. Rodion has lost some of her previous confidence in her place in the bus. She didnt face her trauma like sinclair did, she didnt fight against sonya with all her might like yi sang had, she didnt push through her flaws and learn from her behavior like idhmael and heathcliff had done. Rodion ran, and she hadnt even gained anything from it.

As the event went on, we saw slowly as rodions compossure dropped, especially when the yurodivy got involved. We got to see rodion start to look back on her decision to leave the yurodivy when she interacts with them in district 20. She questions herself as soon as she sees that they actually managed to make something of themselves, that if she had actually been patient they would have been able to give her the kind of change that she had wanted in her life.

Her struggle to define what she wants and how she wants to get it is so interesting, it seems to me like rodion is constantly setting bars too high, either for others or herself, never wanting to settle her bet always wanting to push just a bit further and always crashing hard when she looses it all. The case of time killing time is showing the cracks in her resolve, and i think that eventually itll all come to a boiling point where shell get a rerun of her canto.

Anyways thanks for coming to my tedtalk every single one of the sinners make me mentally ill in ways i will never recover from, not just rodion. Trust me i WILL be making a 20 page essay on don once her canto is fully out i will NOT be normal about her. Sorry if i got a bit off track btw this was absolutely a full character study mostly on rodion rather then being me talking about the new event like i said and had quite a bit about me talking about how i think ids work inuniverse beside being things dante can use on sinners for combat. ALSO! If anyone can tell me how rodion and sonya are in the book it would be cery appreciated! Knowing about how moby dick, wuthering heights, and the metamorphsis play out really shaped my experiences of their cantos and id like to see how its themes played into canto 2.

[dailydemonspotlight]

Agrat bat Mahlat - Day 120

Race: Qadištu

Alignment: Neutral-Chaos

October 4th, 2024

Now, for something completely different. While some may consider the Qadištu to be a scary quartet, I personally consider them utterly fascinating, and easily my favorite of the bunch is absolutely deserving of being mentioned in this month of spooks. She's not only an unholy prostitute, but also a witch, a crow, and a character who gives me so much gender envy it drives me insane- Agrat bat Mahlat, a demon from Jewish myth who is said to be the daughter of none other than Lilith. The dancing roof demon is a surprisingly obscure creature, all things considered, but this doesn't mean there isn't a lot to dig into with her, so let's begin this dance of death.

Agrat, Lilith, Eisheth, and Naamah all actually have quite a bit of overlap- all four are angels of prostitution, as well as being mentioned each as the wives of Samael, but there do appear to be some differentiating factors between each of the Qadištu. Agrat bat Mahlat is first mentioned in Yalquṭ Ḥadash, a work of rabbinic literature that mostly appears in relation to Agrat, at least from my research. While I can't actually get the original copy of the work due to fact that I can't read the language, the demon is also listed, thankfully, in her original epithet within the Jewish Encyclopedia of Demonology.

To paraphrase the text, Agrat appears on the eves of Wednesdays and Sabbaths to bring myriad destruction alongside eighteen demons, named as 'messengers of destruction.' Her name literally means 'Daughter of Mahlat,' as bat is a word used to connect a daughter to her parent. According to the compendium and a treatise by rabbi Nathan Nata Spira, Mahlat was the name of Ishmael's daughter, who was exiled to the desert after being discovered as a witch. While in the desert, Mahlat ran into and mated with a demon named Igrathiel, who ended up fathering Agrat, beginning her exploits as, well, a demon.

Another thing Agrat bat Mahlat is known for is her appearance in Zoharistic Kabbalah, a collection of books going over several different aspects of Jewish thought and history, at least from what I can tell. Within the text, Agrat is listed alongside the rest of the Qadištu- Lilith, Eisheth, and Naamah- as being an 'angel of sacred prostitution' as well as one of the four mates of archangel Samael. Agrat herself is given the same amount of focus as the rest of the group save Eisheth (as it's somewhat ambiguous if she's even a member or not), and she's portrayed on the far more wicked side of the angels in Jewish myth, sometimes even being called one of the queens of demons. It's complicated, as is her role, as she's been pitted as being very morally grey.

In Zoharstic Kabbalah, Agrat and Lilith visit none other than King Solomon as prostitutes, and Agrat offers him the ability to commune with several spirits that, after the fact, would be sealed away into a lamp and tossed into a cave near the Dead Sea. After a while, the lamp was found by one King David, who used it to summon Agrat and ended up sleeping with her after likely either a bit of bargaining or some bewitching on either end. At the end of this one-night stand, Agrat then bore him a son in the form of a demon- none other than Asmodeus. Yep, she's Asmodeus's baby momma. I wonder how he'd react if he saw her in 3D? This later seems to have become a general theme with Agrat, as, according to the compendium, men could be seen trying to summon her to get her to sleep with them, but I doubt she delivered very often.

In terms of design in SMT, Agrat bat Mahlat is probably my favorite of the already strong collection of designs in the Qadištu- she fulfills such a good role in being both intimidating and beautiful, and I adore the calls with her witch's hat and crows wings connecting her to Mastema, who is a character who is a major player throughout her arc in the game. I'm not sure where her umbrella comes from, but it's a really fun detail that ties a lot of this already fantastic design together, and makes the second in command of the Qadištu an insanely memorable character.

No clue why she looks so stoned though. She might've eaten the forever weed brownie.

[unma]

Here's That Heathcliff Ramble You All Wanted

Okay so forgive me for whatever inaccuracies are in here (and correct me if you notice any!) I'm simply sharing the mess of thoughts sitting in my head and while I'm sure this will be more organized by the time I take this out of Notepad and post it I don't promise it won't be obvious how much of a ramble this is. But okay let's go.

Heathcliff and Other!Heathcliff: One and the Same

No, this isn't a theory that Other!Heath is a future Heath or something. It's been made pretty obvious that isn't the case, given ids only pull from other worlds as far as I know. I will also not comment on how this happened; I am aware this (or something similar) happened in Leviathan, but I haven't read Leviathan so I am not aware of the specifics of how this works. Neither does that matter.

Now, to get into my point, I first need to compare this Canto's progression to the previous Canto's, Canto V. Some comparisons in terms of character development could also be made to Canto IV, but my understanding of that is limited and I need to replay it more, and Canto V is a much better comparison due to their similarities. You see, in Canto VI and V, Heathcliff and Ishmael are mirrors of their respective antagonists. While in Ishmael's case, it is because her obsession with defeating Ahab was leading her down the path of becoming Ahab herself ("That bastard… has to be alive still."), for Heathcliff that is because Other!Heathcliff is literally him. In ever single way except for the world he originates from. Given that Ishmael's arc is about seeing that and changing for the better, you would expect Heathcliff to have a similar arc. You would expect their battles to progress the same, with Heathcliff overcoming his issues over the course of the battle acting as a show of their growth so far …right?

The Other!Heathcliff boss fight was great. Music was banging, fight was pretty damn fun and somewhat challenging, and my Shi Heathcliff was doing utterly nothing because I didn't want to stagger him (I have only two none base ids, and the other is a level 1 N. Corp Heath. I was not spending the next half hour in Luxcavation). But, back on track, during the fight I had the distinct feeling that unlike Ahab and Ishmael, there was literally no difference between the two. There was no character growth or sudden realization. You could switch the characters around and it'd be the exact same—hell, give Heath a couple more days and he'd be the exact same. This is even shown in how both of them can get the Deep Bereavement buff.

Where am I going with this? Well, I want to point out the end of their fights. Specifically their base EGO's changes. Ishmael's Snagharpoon was a representation of her undying hatred for Ahab and her obsessive focus on the goal of hunting Ahab down. Her striking Ahab down with the harpoon would be the realization of those efforts, but it would also cement her existence as an Ahab. It would show that she was truly willing to let herself be blinded by her obsession for revenge at the expense of those around her, and thus her striking down the whale after would be Ahab striking down the whale. However, in choosing to strike the whale instead of Ahab, she shows her ability to not let such an obsession completely overtake her; to follow her compass not with blind devotion but with a sharp understanding, like a great sailor. She has learnt to use her compass as a guide for a journey of her own making, not as a rule for where she must go. "This is how I will chart my own path…"

Heathcliff, on the other hand, does not have the meaning of his EGO change or evolve at the end of the battle. Instead, the meaning is further reinforced and revealed plainly for all to see, with the extra context of what Other!Heathcliff told him. "You… and everything that crushed me under their feet, built this wall between me and Cathy…" may include Hindley and Edgar, but ultimately they're only extras. The true meaning of the Bodysack is made literal as he proceeds to beat Other!Heathcliff to death with it, who, as we've established, is literally him. He is beating up himself with the sack. He is going to shove himself into the sack. And as the beating continues and extends past its usual duration, we see the envy outline fade and be replaced with wrath, and the damage counter changes to that of corrosion. He is not wielding the EGO. It is wielding him. This acts as a representation of how this battle has affected him; but unlike Ishmael who grew positively in her cutscene, Heathcliff is faller deeper and deeper into his already existing issues. Bodysack's envy assignment showed just how much he envied everyone else: he seems himself as an absolute wretch, the worst of the worst, and because he sees everyone as better than him, he journeys to better himself such that Cathy will acknowledge him. And yet, as the Envy fades to wrath, its meaning is not completely altered, only further revealed. He doesn't just envy others for not being as pathetic as he sees himself to be, he hates himself for being such a wretch. The bodysack isn't just meant for others. It's meant for the object of his hatred. Himself.

In killing Other!Heathcliff in such a manner, he cements himself as the same person, much like it would have been if Ishmael killed Ahab.

Here, I will shift a little to talk about Other!Heath, who I view as simply a more complete version of Heath. In the sense that he's already been through the entire book, his entire journey. He is Heath with the benefit (or demerit, I guess) of experience. And yet it's interesting how he's not even the slightest angry about losing. He doesn't just want to kill Heathcliff, not to just watch him fall into despair. He wants Heathcliff to come to the realization that he has: he is the wretch that murdered Cathy. He is the reason she was destined to be miserable. And for that sin, he deserves nothing worse than hell. Other!Heathcliff doesn't just want Heathcliff dead, he wants himself dead. He's not just journeying to other worlds to fulfil some hate boner. It's either he kills other Heathcliffs, or they kill him. There is no in-between. All Heathcliffs must die, and as long as they continue to die, he is fine with his own death.

There is another thing I would like to comment on, but only lightly, as I would like to wait for the reveal this Wednesday to complete my thoughts on it, but Heath's conversation with Carmen is interesting, specifically the point where he distorts. There, he affirms just how he sees himself: not as a human, but as a beast, something much lesser than a person. Such is the shape his distortion shall take, as said by Carmen and laid out by Heathcliff: "I shall become an infernal hound; snarling, tearing at the fabric of the City… And I will shove its remnants into this sack… and grate it across the broken earth." One cannot help but think this is a result of all the dehumanization he had gone through at the hands of Hindley. All the verbal abuse he suffered at the hands of everyone but Nelly and Catherine has been internalized, and this is the result.

Lastly, I would like to point out two things that came to me upon remembering the start of the book: Cathy died in childbirth from what I heard, and Ms. Heathcliff (I am unaware if her name is revealed in the book, I have either not reached that point or it never is) has yet to show up in this Canto to my knowledge. However, that is not what I want to talk about here. The thing is, Heathcliff owns dogs in the books. The hounds that threatened to bite Mr. Lockwood. And I can't help but think that his distortion would reference them, in some part. I know Heathcliff already has Telepole (which is sure to take on meaning given this Canto, especially its corrosion), but I doubt they would go the route of making his distortion straight up Telepole. That would be disappointed and honestly doesn't seem like what PM would do. Allow me this little bit of speculation, alright?

I think that's all I have to say for now. I can't wait to see what happens next honestly, so I'm kinda glad I have GBF Guild Wars to distract me until the next part is here. Feel free to share your thoughts in the notes! I may take a while to respond, but I promise I'll do so eventually! (Be patient with me, I have social anxiety and ADHD, admittedly self-diagnosed though.)

[dinosore19]

MAJOR CANTO VI SPOILERS; I JUST NEED TO ASK THIS

Is Erlking gonna be an ID or nah? Cause I thought that since Heath got an id at the very beginning before canto vi started (that oufi id) i thought he couldnt get another id. cause i dont think a single sinner as gotten two ids in one canto drop before right? go ahead and tell me im if it's happened before i just dont remember.

also like, in a narrative sense, isnt Erlking kinda. Gone (?)

Like when Cathy deleted her self and all the other Catherine's, Erlking's reason for existing ceased to be, meaning HE stops existing right? But I think there's another one running around (i think) cause Linton Gregor, Nelly Ryoshu, and Maid Ishmael (prolly the others too) all mention him as something that exists in their world even after Catherine's cessation from existence in their respective upties. idk how he's still around, i thought he wouldn't be an issue after Dante and Co. magic eraser-ed his ass, but apparently his Hater Energy is so powerful he can just still be a Mirror Menace with or without Catherine's death to make him omega depressed enough to have him go on a multidimensional suicide crusade or whatever. i have no clue of that's ACTUALLY the case, im just guessing. and sleepy.

The point is, its been over a month and im starting to doubt ever getting an Erlking Id and i'll have to settle with his cameo as a Shadow in Nelly Ryoshu's third uptie art and his cameo as shadow copies in Linton Gregor's third uptie art. Which FUNNILY ENOUGH, are units i do not have.

That's all. Maybe I misconstrued some things and am (hopefully) super wrong, idk. I just wanted to get this off my chest because i am In Love with that asshole and Want Him, but if Project Moon says No, then I will Weep Forever.

[iwhoneverbelievedinwar]

Ok ok so I'm on Chapter 102 of Moby Dick (holy fuck?!) and I have... thoughts.

But to a large and thorough sweeping comprehension of him, it behooves me now to unbutton him still further, and untagging the points of his hose, unbuckling his garters, and casting loose the hooks and the eyes of the joints of his innermost bones, set him before you in his ultimatum; that is to say, in his unconditional skeleton.

Ishmael? Ishmael??? Was it necessary to make that description so... homoerotic? Casting the whale as a man he's undressing? Not complaining just impressed honestly.

I confess, that since Jonah, few whalemen have penetrated very far beneath the skin of the adult whale; nevertheless, I have been blessed with an opportunity to dissect him in miniature. In a ship I belonged to, a small cub Sperm Whale was once bodily hoisted to the deck for his poke or bag, to make sheaths for the barbs of the harpoons, and for the heads of the lances. Think you I let that chance go, without using my boat-hatchet and jack-knife, and breaking the seal and reading all the contents of that young cub?

Augh. The intimacy of it. Ishmael isn't just dissecting the whale, he's reading it. It's easy to imagine him over that whale cub, learning its innermost secrets, elbow-deep in a body. The violence of understanding. The eroticism of it. Do you Get Me. He's fascinated by the whale, he's had the chance to open up a myth and put his hand into the wound like Thomas. Augh.

The weaver-god, he weaves; and by that weaving is he deafened, that he hears no mortal voice; and by that humming, we, too, who look on the loom are deafened; and only when we escape it shall we hear the thousand voices that speak through it.

obsessed with Ishmael finding divinity in everything. i wish I could see the world through his eyes

Life folded Death; Death trellised Life; the grim god wived with youthful Life, and begat him curly-headed glories.

Even the gods are gay in this book

[quinnonimp]

whatre ur thoughts on canto 5 (so far) i need to hear it

OKAY SO gathering my thoughts on it is difficult unfortunately since i focus on getting through all the gameplay first, theeen go back to reread the canto to fully focus on whats going on u_u but !!

the intervallo was fun !!!! lowkey wish it was a real beach episode but obviously that would never happen in limbus (made me want to draw a real one though) . the 3 scrapyarders have a fun dynamic w the team & it was as cute as intervallos usually are (i really love intervallos .. & just general side content . i eat that shit up)

as a splatoon fan ofc ill like the sea aesthetic of it all .. rip ishmael she wouldve loved splatoon . plus fish ice cream is a funny idea im glad charon enjoyed it lmao, was nice to know that her & verg hung out in town

fun to hear saude is alive ! im not particularly attached to any of the npcs but im glad she got promoted . the lccb guy w brown curly hair looks like me and i was surprised when he showed up

i found ishmaels behavior & mindset pretty interesting ! to me shes sort of in the middle tier of characters-i-like - but so far this canto has written her in a very effective way, and i appreciate characters that have an extreme sense of determination & care, and her quest for revenge is compelling

yi sang being seasick is terribly relatable it made me like him more LMAO . i enjoy how much more talkative he is rn even if i dont have a deep connection to his character . my feelings on him after canto 4 have definitely improved (he used to be at the bottom tier together w 2 others 💀), & also bc i got his walpurgisnacht ID and im a huge funeral of the dead butterflies fan ..

I HATE RICARDO 😭😭😭😭 yes its a skill issue . but i also dont rly like his character i dont think hes that funny . being stuck on his stage was genuinely frustrating esp with the thought that the final boss of the canto is gonna be even more difficult . sorry . i know a lot of ppl love him and im sure his stage was fun mechanically to someone

the scene where we learn dante has a self destruct button was so much less sad to me than it shouldve been bc when it was explained i got mega distracted thinking abt barbwire (my oc) ..... woops .. still really liked that scene though . dante holds the number one fave spot together w don for me so im always invested when we get focus on them, and this in particular was impactful, especially with faust being clear about their chances of survival in that moment and the indigo elder telling them to "get used to the idea that not everything can be brought back" . themes of permanence & temporariness are super appealing to me and i love extracting that out of dante

when the indigo elder got revealed i was immediately like "oh yeah dons gonna freak tf out with 2 whole color fixers on the same bus" . i was right . she shouldve been allowed to have a way bigger reaction though i mean this is a huge deal .. anywho i like him ! he might be the npc i find most intriguing so far, and im very interested in seeing him & ishmael interact more

so yeah uhmmmmmmm thats what ive got so far while doing a mirror dungeon . im at 5-32 (shoutout to my friends list for getting me past 5-30), so once ive finished the canto i might add onto this post if u wanna hear more or ask specific things !