#all my thoughts and anxiety just got BLASTED away like holy shit help me

[enden-k]

holy shit hsr is so good im actually having goosebumps so bad im gonna cry !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wtf was that!!!!!!

[tlcwrites]

Two Hearts Make a Whole

Prompt: “Kiss me again, like you mean it.” Photo prompt below.

Summary: NYC Pride is for celebration, and occasionally, long-overdue revelations.

Word Count: 2,001

Tags/Content warnings: Marvel. Stucky. If you have a problem with it, there's the door. SFW. Slight TFATWS spoilers so read at your own risk. Platonic Reader. Two idiots in love. Technically canon-divergent because I'm still in my everyone-is-alive-and-in-this-timeline happy place that I will never ever leave fuck you very much Russo brothers but not AU. Found family. All the feels. Complete and total LGBTQ+ support. Lots of bad language words because #me. Un-beta'd.

Author’s Note: Okay so yes this is technically 4 weeks late for @autumnleaves1991-blog's Writer Wednesday weekly challenge. BUT, it was incredibly important to me to finish this one before Pride month is over. Made it by the skin of my teeth.

Happy Pride, y’all. If you’re out, you’re amazing. If you’re closeted, you’re amazing. However you identify is valid and important. Trans folx are LGBTQ+. Bisexuals are LGBTQ+. Ace folx are LGBTQ+. Anyone who identifies or thinks they may be as queer is LGBTQ+. All are welcome in the family. You have the right to choose your pronouns and we have the responsibility to use them. Live whatever your truth looks like to you and love each other. Love is love is love is love. If your family doesn’t accept you for you, I’m your mom now and I’ve got mom hugs available on demand. Homophobes and TERFS can fuck off and roll in poison ivy. Always punch Nazis. Pride shouldn't be limited to the month of June. And don’t you dare forget that Black and Brown trans women were the ones who rioted at Stonewall, and we owe everything to their bravery. Don’t forget that much of popular ‘gay’ culture was appropriated from Black women. And for more facts about Pride that you should absolutely know, Rawiyah Tariq (@ mammyisdead on Instagram) has a phenomenally good overview.

“Oh my god.” You gasp loudly. "Oh my GOD. Is that-"

“What?!” Instantly in First Avenger Protective Mode™️, Steve surveys the crowd, wishing he had an actual shield instead of the screen printed one on his shirt. “What is it?”

You gasp again, smacking Sam’s arm repeatedly. “OHMYGOD IT IS HOLY FUCK.”

“First; ow.” Now-Cap rubs his bicep. “Second; clue in the class before Steve has an aneurysm, please.”

Vibrating with excitement doesn’t begin to describe your current state. “HER ROYAL HIGHNESS MISS LEMON MERINGUE IS STANDING RIGHT FUCKING THERE.”

With the finesse of a shampoo commercial, Bucky's dark locks fly as he whips around. “What?!”

“RIGHT THERE RIGHT THERE RIGHT THERE.” You abandon a relieved Sam and latch on to Bucky’s vibranium arm. “Oh my GOD I love her so fucking much.”

“She was robbed, absolutely fucking robbed,” he agrees, craning his neck to get a better view. “Divine Tension’s lip sync was shameful.”

Sam glances at Steve, who is slowly coming out of protector mode. “What the ever-loving hell are they talking about?”

“RuPaul’s Drag Race.” Nat flicks more confetti at both Cap-the-former and Cap-the-current. “They watch it every week.”

“Really, Steven, for a guy with enhanced super senses, you miss a lot.” Tony hefts a bedazzled Morgan higher on his back. The toddler, accompanied by Scott playing air-piano on the ground, sings along with the ABBA song being blasted at full volume through the street. Tony continues as if this is an everyday occurrence. “Why do you think both of your People disappear every Friday evening?”

Ears pink, Steve mumbles something.

“What?!” The only other one with hearing enhanced enough to hear a murmur over the cacophony of several thousand people belting out the chorus of ‘Dancing Queen’ at the top of their lungs, Bucky turns to stare at his friend. “You thought we were datin’?”

Steve’s blush extends down his neck.

You and Bucky stare at each other for a moment before you both collapse on each other, exploding into stomach clenching, thigh slapping laughter.

“I’m gonna guess that’s a ‘no’?” Clint confirms with Nat.

“Oh, a big ‘no’.” She watches affectionately as you and Bucky calm down enough to look at each other, breathe for a second, and both promptly dissolve into hysterics once more. “Like, the biggest ‘no’.”

Sam crossed his arms across his chest, his stoic stance so reminiscent of Steve it’s amusing (as well as a beautiful disparity to the sequined crop top he’s sporting. Oof, those abs.). “How do I not know about this?”

“Because you’re not a former super spy?” The usually-Black-but-today-Rainbow Widow tosses the last of her confetti at Tony, who spins a jubilant Morgan into it. “Or because you and that leggy barista from the lobby coffee shop are too busy playing hide-the-“

“-Baby Shark!” Morgan suddenly shrieks, flailing towards a guy on roller blades wearing a fin and tail (and not much else).

“Yeah,” Nat finishes with a smirk, “Hide-the-Baby Shark.”

Sam flips her a gesture that makes Clint laugh and Bruce sigh.

You and Bucky have finally managed to pull yourselves together. “Oh my god, Steven Grant,” you gasp, wiping tears from your eyes. “That’s the funniest fucking shit I’ve ever fucking heard.”

“Language!”

Steve glares at Tony. “One. Time. It was one. Time.”

Bucky slings his flesh arm around Steve’s shoulders. “Oh, punk. You may have perfect vision now, but sometimes you’re still as blind as you were before.”

Visiortn himself nods sagely. “Humans can be quite unperceptive when it comes to matters of the heart.” Vision casts a fond smile at Wanda, who is using her powers to make Pietro’s tinsel wig fly on and off. “Sometimes you have to look harder to see what’s right in front of your nose.”

A confused frown on that handsome face, Captain Clueless looks at Bucky. “Why do I feel like everyone else knows something that I don’t?”

His bestie sighs deeply. “Because, Stevie, almost everyone else on this planet knows that my tastes tend towards tall, blonde, blue-eyed knuckleheads who have zero sense of self-preservation.”

“And an ass you could bounce a quarter off of,” Scott helpfully supplies.

“And that,” Bucky agrees.

Steve frowns.

You press your palms to your eyes in vexation. “You, Steve. He’s talking about you.” (Seriously, how has this idiot survived for over a century while being so dumb?)

Whatever he was expecting, it was certainly not that. “He-“ The Man With A Plan gapes as he turns to his oldest friend. “You-“

“Me,” Bucky says gently.

Even though you’re slightly surprised that Bucky is going to do this in such a public forum, you can’t help but be so proud of your friend. It has taken a long time for Bucky to believe he deserves to be happy. There are days he still sinks into that dark place, where his inner demons whisper that he should have fought harder against his Hydra captors, and that his past actions were still somehow his fault. Those are the days no amount of baking or Modern Marvels will bring him out of his funk. You, Steve, Sam, and Nat have all held those strong shoulders as they shook with sobs, overwhelmed by the shame and horror at what his hands had done without his consent.

But he’s here. He’s free. And he’s smiling nervously at his best friend.

“I-” Steve is short-circuiting. “Me?!”

“Stevie.” With the kind of tender patience that can only be born of a lifetime of keeping (or attempting to keep) an idiot such as one Steven Grant Rogers from flinging himself headlong into every fight he comes across, Bucky moves his flesh hand to the back of Steve’s neck. His face is full of such soft affection that you almost want to look away for fear of intruding on this suddenly intimate moment. “What do you think ‘til the end of the line’ means, you idiot? You’ve been it for me since I was thirteen-years-old.”

Blue eyes are locked with blue eyes as Steve processes this revelation. “I-” He shakes his head as if to declutter his thoughts. “This whole time?”

“Since the first time I saw that asshole knock you down, and your scrawny ass climbed right back up.” A wry chuckle escapes as Bucky reminices. “You were ninety pounds soaking wet, and you stood there, against a guy who was three times your size, and never waivered for a second. It was magnificent.”

“I don’t like bullies,” is Steve’s quiet response.

Bucky’s grin is adoring. “I know, sweetheart.” He gently strokes the back of Steve’s neck with his thumb. “You’ve always had a heart way bigger than your brain.”

Steve is still back on the first part of Bucky’s admission. “If you’ve felt- if you-” He’s practically pleading. “Why didn’t you say anything then?”

Bucky shrugs, attempting and failing nonchalance. “It was a different time, you know?” He’s uncharacteristically unsure of himself, the subtle waiver in his voice revealing the anxiety born of a lifetime of being forced to hide his truth. “I mean, you remember how it was; you didn’t talk about, no one talked about- about being- about people like...” He swallows thickly.  “And I was so scared you didn’t, that you weren’t-” His voice breaks.

Even though you’ve all been emotionally invested in this love story for years, the entire team respectfully pretends not to listen as the former Winter Soldier quietly admits his deepest secret to his closest friend. It’s enraging as Bucky confesses yet another way he's been a victim of his circumstances, and denied his right to live freely without derision. Once more, you’re awed by his resilience.

“-it was a risk I couldn’t take,” Bucky finally gets out, that stubborn fire back in his eyes. “I couldn’t lose you, Steve. I couldn’t chance it. I could live with just being your friend and only your friend so long it meant you were in my life.”

Stunned silence meets the end of his confession. Steve’s face is impassive, those cerulean eyes uncharacteristically inscrutable.

You can all tell Bucky is heading steadily towards dread and heartbreak the longer Steve takes to respond. You and Sam exchange a look, both ready to intervene if Steve demonstrates any of the abhorrent attitudes that were so prevalent in the society of his youth. It would be completely out of character for him, but...

Finally, Steve speaks. “You’re telling me,” he says, his words slow and deliberate, “that you made me wait ninety-three years to tell me you’ve felt the same way about me as I have about you since the day you picked me up out of that alley?!”

The whole found family breaths a collective sigh of relief as Steve pulls Bucky even closer, broad chest to broad chest.

“Okay, to be fair, you were an ice cube for most of that time and I wasn’t exactly available for a relationship.” Bucky’s grin stands in contradiction to his mullish defense. “But yeah, that’s the gist of it.” There’s the Bucky you all know and love, biting his lip with those perfect white teeth. “Now, punk, I’d really like to kiss you now, but first I need you to say you want me to.”

“You-” Steve’s throat works as he attempts- and fails- to rein in his emotions. “You jerk.”

And then the Star Spangled Man seizes the president of the Sometimes-Former-Assassins Club by his ridiculously perfect face and crashes their mouths together.

At any Pride event, seeing two men kissing is, obviously, to be expected. But seeing The First Avenger and The White Wolf attempting to swallow each other’s tongues is not at all routine. As people realize what is happening, the crowd is whipped into a frenzy the likes of which is usually reserved for the aftermath of sporting events and elections that defeat fascists.

Watching the two men embrace, Scott sniffles loudly. “I’m gonna cry, I’m so happy.”

He’s certainly not the only one. Wanda has a watery smile as she wraps her arms around Vision and Pietro; Pepper, Tony, and Bruce are watching with fond parental energy; you and Sam sandwich Peter between the two of you, grins practically splitting your faces. Even Nat’s eyes look suspiciously shiny and she and Clint sling their arms around each other with platonic affection. And that’s not counting the several thousand people who are cheering for love being love being love being love.

When they finally break their embrace, the Centennial twins are startled to see they’ve collected quite an audience.

“Uh, so…” Suddenly bashful, Steve glances back to his- partner? Boyfriend? Soulmate? Is there a word that can accurately describe two people who have found each other time and again in a world that seems hell-bent on keeping them apart?- his ears practically maroon with embarrassment. For a guy with one of the most-recognized faces in the world, Steve is still incredibly and endearingly uncomfortable with attention. “Buck?”

Bucky seems just as stunned as Steve.

Thankfully, the masses demonstrate the usual support that’s the hallmark of Pride. “LOVE IS LOVE!” someone screams in the crowd. It’s quickly echoed, and chants fill the park.

The attention momentarily off them, the former Winter Soldier and his giant himbo of a soulmate look back at each other. You pretend not to watch through the happiest tears as they embrace again, bringing their foreheads together. The relief they share is palpable, as they’re finally able to show the world- and each other- the love they’ve each hidden for so long.

Bucky’s voice is so soft you have to strain to hear it. “You have no idea how much m’in love with you, Stevie.”

“Pretty sure I do,” Steve answers, bringing a hand up to carefully wipe the tears from Bucky’s face. “‘cause it’s as much as I love you, Buck.”

Bucky's answering grin can only be described as saucy. “Then kiss me again, like you mean it.”

And Steve, for once in his long life, does exactly as ordered.

---

A/N: “The Sometimes-Former-Assassins Club” is from Starry_Emerald173’s BRILLIANT The Avengers Wrangler over on AO3. If you haven’t read it yet, drop what you’re doing and do so immediately. Make sure you're not drinking any liquids, or your keyboard/phone may be in peril.

[btsfaris]

bugboy (m)

pairing: mark lee!spiderman x reader.

words: 7.4k

genre: smut, humor, fluff, action. hella angst.

a/n: thank u to the reader who recommended me to join both of my favorite worlds together and create this masterpiece :’) <3

-

You always wondered why life teased you this way? Why God made Mark Lee, the cutest and smartest boy in Queens exist in your lifetime, yet make him so unavailable to you. It was simply just plain, unfair torture to you.

You’ve known about Mark since high school, others might think of him as nerdy and even a bit weird whenever he runs out of a room abruptly — but you always excused it as a need to go to the bathroom or a family emergency, just like he always said. Despite that fact, he was practically flawless. Always top of his class and sweet to everyone, even to Flash, who never returned the kind gestures. 

Truthfully, you have never spoken to your high school crush because that’s exactly what he is, a crush and nothing more. Of course, there have been times where you’ve bumped into each other at social events or in the hallways, but your anxiety always got to you and you’d practically run away whenever he said a simple hello or smiled at you.

It didn’t help he was extremely gorgeous either, soft wavy brown hair and big doe eyes that could make any girl drop to their knees — literally. He was taller than most guys and his style wasn’t as basic, just casually trendy. Mark wasn’t exactly popular but he was well-known for his internship at Stark industries that he got freshman year.

Basically you never had a chance with him in high school even if you dreamed about it, because Mark was the school’s it-guy and you were just, nobody. Just a random classmate he had and that was all. Not to mention he was always pining after Liz Allan, then once she moved, it was MJ. So no chance there.

Now that you’re in college, you had hoped that your stupid crush would go away and you’d meet a nice guy who would sweep you off your feet. But as luck will have it, when you’re moving into your dorm you see Mark on campus with a couple of his close friends, all helping him move stuff into a dorm as well. Great.

So that’s where you are now, into your second year of college with your high school crush; who has now become your college crush and will quite possibly be the death of you. You can only hope that he doesn’t go to the same graduate school as you. You’ve managed to go this far without him noticing you though, because it would probably be too embarrassing for you if he remembered you as the weird girl who would run out on him. You’ve gone this far.

Until tonight of course.

You’re at a party, not one you wanted to go willingly but your roommate forced you from your warm cocoon of a bed and season 6 grey’s anatomy on netflix, with the words “you never leave the room and I need a sober friend to make sure I don’t have my nudes leaked,” so here you are.

Leaning against a wall in an empty corner, watching as your fellow students drink their kidneys to shit and dance practically in their underwear. Some are either in the bathroom getting coked up, or getting cocked down. The music is blasting loudly in your ears and you hum along to the beat of a whiny pop song that’s popular this week. Your roommate had ditched you a long time ago to go “dance with a guy” but you know that it’s code for ‘I’m getting dick tonight.’

You’re on your second cup of some mixed fruity punch that is spiked with 3 different hard liquors but you don’t really care since you didn’t pay for it. Serving yourself another cup, you turn around and scan the large room. Everyone in the dance floor is packed so closely together like a can of sardines. Your eyes land on a familiar adoring face that makes you smile, he’s wearing a red flannel and a random band tee with black ripped jeans.

He’s talking to some of his friends but a random girl is on his side, practically crawling for his attention. You laugh at the scene and it’s almost like he recognizes it, because when his eyes look around, they land on you. You don’t look away as usual, and he stares at you for a moment before he smiles. An actual, soft smile that makes you want to hug him and kiss his face.

Instead you turn around as fast you can, walking to the front door. You’re halfway down the driveway when you hear someone calling you.

“Hey!” You turn around and see Mark jogging softly to you, the same smile on his face, “you went to the same high school as me right?”

Oh my god, what the hell are you supposed to say.

“Y-Yeah,” you manage to blurt out and his smile actually widens. Holy shit.

“Cool, thought I recognized you,” he says, his brown eyes sparkling under the moonlight, “so you go to Empire State Uni too?”

You nod, trying to keep your composure.

“Funny, wonder why I haven’t run into you before..” you blink at him.

“Yeah.. um, I should, probably go get my friend–it’s getting late,” you stammer and avoid eye contact, trying to move around him.

“Hey wait,” he stops in front of you again, hands raised in defense, “did I do something to you in high school? I’m sorry if I did, I tried to be nice to everyone.”

You shake your head immediately, “no you didn’t, it’s just you’re Mark Lee–”

“And you’re y/n, the girl who always runs away from me,” He gives you a soft grin that makes you weak in the knees.

“You know my name?” you ask him, confused.

“Yes of course, everyone knew who you were,” he chuckles, “you tutored a lot of people, not to mention head of the homecoming committee.”

“Oh yeah that, haha,” you let out a weak giggle, completely embarrassed.

“I think it’s cool that you helped out so much, I wish I were that nice,” Mark compliments you.

“But you’re Mark Lee, you’re nice to everyone, even to that know-it-all Flash. If anyone is admirable, it’s you,” you say without a single thought.

His eyes widen slightly and you blush immediately in shame at your outburst.

“You think I’m admirable?–”

“I gotta go! My friend needs me!” you charge past him successfully this time and run into the house without another look, “bye Mark!”

-

“A little birdy told me you were talking to Mark Lee at the party, spill the tea!” Your roommate Jisoo squeals, jumping on your bed. You bounce lightly, taking out your headphones and scrunch your nose at her, “I’m working on my History essay right now.”

“Whatever- Tell me all about your sexversation with Mark!”

“What? How do you know I talked to-“

“Doesn’t matter! Spill!”

“Nothing happened, he remembered me from high school, that’s it. There was no sex involved.”

“So you didn’t run out on him like you always did before? You had an actual conversation with him like a normal human being right?”

“Yes, sort of, kinda?” You push your reading glasses up your nose bridge, “he knew my name.”

“Oh my god!” She squeals three pitches higher than usual, making you groan, “he’s in love with you, he remembered you from high school!”

“No he isn’t, he mentioned that I tutored before so I probably helped one of his old pals, not a big deal,” you mutter, eyes focusing back on the laptop.

“Y/n, honey, how mad would you be if I smacked the sense back into you?”

“Don’t you dare Jisoo, I will hide all of your nice panties when you have a dick appointment,” you warn, and she sighs in frustration.

“Fine! But when you guys fall in love, don’t say I didn’t tell you so!” She singsongs, moving back to her bed to finally leave you at peace.

She’s completely crazy.. right?

Midterms were getting closer and closer as the days went on. It has been a while since your little encounter with Mark at the party and your roommate had finally stopped bugging you about it. Your life was going back to normal, despite you constantly revisiting that moment in time where you actually held a conversation with the love of your life. Still, you had bigger things to focus on and a degree to get, not some fantasy-land boyfriend.

You’re at the library, having been studying your brains out for the past 3 hours and it’s honestly all turned to mush at this point. Too many things to stuff into your head all at once and you sigh, rubbing your eyes in frustration. All you need is a nice cup of coffee to regain your senses and energy back, but you also don’t want to lose your spot either. Resting your head in your arms, you close your eyes for a moment, composing yourself to go back to another 3 hours of cramming.

You feel a soft tap on your arm, and raise your head, looking at a smiling Mark once again. He’s sporting grey sweats and a Midtown High hoodie. “I brought you a cup,” he says shyly, placing a cup of coffee in front of you, “you looked like you needed it.” You look at the cup and back at him awkwardly.

“You probably don’t want to talk to me.. so I’ll go study somewhere else,” his smile slips away slightly, and he turns around to walk away.

“Mark, wait,” you call out, and he stops in his tracks.

“You can sit with me, I don’t mind,” you manage to say and he turns to you with raised brows.

“You sure? I-I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he lightly blushes and you almost visibly swoon at his cuteness.

“Please,” you smile softly, “I could use your company.”

Mark blinks at your words before his face breaks into the cute, goofy grin that you’ve only seen when he’s with his friends.

After that day, Mark has become your friend, though could you even call him that? I mean, he always hangs out around you now, brings you coffee when you need it and helps you study with that big brain of his. You admire him really, how he manages to get straight A’s, go to classes everyday and work at his internship is beyond you. You can barely keep up with your 8am classes, let alone work and study full time. He’s as amazing as he was in high school and it does little to help your heart from yearning for him as something more.

Despite the big step of becoming close to Mark, you still don’t have a chance, especially now that you’re technically friend zoned right? Even then, Mark is still Mark, still handsome as ever and completely out of your league. If he wasn’t popular in high school, he certainly is now. All the girls in the university have their eye on him, including Gwen Stacy, quite possibly the most beautiful girl on campus. She is a chem major, just like Mark and as equally well known as him.

They were perfect for each other actually, even if you dread the thought of it. You know you should probably stop talking to Mark if you want to move on like you had planned, but he is such a sweet person that you couldn’t possibly just ignore him like that. With his big puppy eyes looking at you, soft lips that you could kiss for like, ever-

“Earth to y/n!” One of your group partners for your finance project taps your notebook with their pencil, snapping you from your thoughts.

“Huh? Sorry!” You cough, refocusing on the project. “Anyways like I was saying, we should set up a chart, for the company budget cuts-“

Before she can continue, the floor beneath you trembles and the walls shake in the library. Everyone looks around confused before another loud rumble is heard, following screams. Your eyes widen as everyone runs out to find out what all the commotion is. As you make it outside, you halt in your step when you look up. You’re not sure what it is at first, until mechanical tentacles start to swing around, gripping on to surfaces.

“Where is he?!” The man at the top of the machine yells, “I know spiderman is on this campus! Where are you?!”

Everyone begins to run away as he walks closer but you stay put in shock, “Fine! I’ll make one of you tell me where he is!” You look as he zones in across from you, right on Jisoo who is equally as scared and doesn’t move from where she is. He raises one of his arms to grab her but you push her out of the way, “Jisoo run!”

You feel something wrap around your waist, lifting you up roughly into the air. Letting out the loudest scream you’ve ever done, you try to get out of his grip as he lifts you in front of him.

“Saving your friend huh? God I hate heroes,” the man sneers, “now where’s spiderman?!”

“Put me down!” you scream, flailing aimlessly.

“Tell me or I’ll peel the flesh of your body,” he hisses, bringing two more tentacles closer to your face. You scream louder and squeeze your eyes shut at the sight of the knives.

“Your choice. Spiderman you better come out! Before your little classmate becomes fresh meat,” he grins maniacally.

“Hey loser! I’m over here!” Someone shouts from behind him, dressed in red and blue. Spiderman swings around him, wrapping the legs with webs and tightening it, causing Dr. Otto’s machine to lose balance. You both fall and you brace for impact, but it never comes and you’re caught by Spiderman as he swings you both to the other side of the campus.

“Hey, you okay?” He asks, as he sets you down and you look at him in shock.

“You-You’re, s-spiderman-“

“Yeah, but don’t worry, I’m just your friendly neighborhood spiderman,” he says, before looking behind him, “I gotta go, but please be safe! Don't want pretty girls like you in danger!”

Before you can say another word, he swings away to fight the villain.

-

You’re in love with him.

No not Mark, I mean, yes you love Mark, but now you’re in love with Spiderman too. Currently in your dorm watching the news and seeing your newfound crush beat that mechanical octopus’ ass. After he rescued you, he broke off most of his arms, before finally tying him up and sending him off to the police. Swooning as he is freeze framed on the tv, you grin like a little schoolgirl. You’ve never had a thing for superheroes, maybe Thor if any, but to have one actually save you? You could get married to him right then and there.

Loud knocking is heard at your door and you turn off the tv, walking towards it. You’re greeted with a sweaty looking Mark, staring at you in concern, “Are you okay? I heard that monster thing got you?!”

“I’m fine, I got saved,” you smile at the memory of your new found love.

“By who?” Mark raises his eyebrows slightly.

“Spiderman,” you giggle lightly, but it causes you to wince in pain.

“Are you okay?! Let’s sit down,” he helps you move to your bed, “What happened?”

“That stupid octopussy tried to hurt Jisoo so I pushed her away and he snatched me instead,” you hold your stomach, too busy swooning over Spiderman to realize you were in actual pain.

“You saved Jisoo..? Wow,” you look at him confused as he stares at you in awe before he stands up, grabbing an ice pack from the mini-fridge you have, “I mean, is she okay?”

“Yeah, went home today though, needed to be with her family.”

“Understandable,” he nods, giving you the ice pack along with some water, “so Spiderman huh?” he says coolly, drinking some water himself.

“Yeah.. he’s pretty cool,” you say dreamily, “I.. I think I’m in love with him.”

Mark chokes on his water and starts coughing uncontrollably. “Mark oh my god, breathe,” you pat his back and he shakes his head, trying gain his breath.

“I’m okay, I’m just-“ he says in a strained voice, before finally composing himself, “you love him?”

“Well he saved my life, there’s just something really, sexy about that,” you say, grinning.

Mark stares at you with wide eyes and mouth dropped which makes you laugh and you wince again. “Careful,” he warns, trying to keep composure, “y-you really love him?”

“It doesn’t matter, I’m probably never going to see him ever again,” you sigh, swinging your feet on your bed, “but if he ever asked me to have one night, just one hot, sweaty, and wet night together.. I’d let him do me all night.”

Mark stands up abruptly, placing his cup on your nightstand before walking to the door, “Alright! Well I gotta go do, uh, homework, I’m glad you’re okay-“ he looks at the floor with a blush on his cheeks and opens the door—face smacking against the doorframe, before finally walking out, “sorry b-bye!”

-

The university shuts down classes for a month to give students time to alleviate any trauma, but mainly to fix the campus back up. And in the last two weeks, you’ve been thinking about your spider boo, as Jisoo calls him, who doesn’t knock on your window at night like you had hoped. Instead you spend your nights with Mark in your dorm, watching 80’s movies back to back on your laptop. Tonight is just the same as the rest.

“God I wish I went to high school in the 80s,” you sigh, munching on some popcorn.

“Why?” Mark laughs, “high school would’ve sucked.”

“Well it did suck for some of us, ‘Mr. Everyone likes me,’” you scrunch your nose at him, “it wasn’t that fun for me.”

“Not everyone liked me, you didn’t like me,” he chuckles, throwing a piece of popcorn at you.

“Of course I did, I had such a huge crush on you-“ the words fall out of your mouth before you can realize and once it’s out, Mark isn’t laughing anymore.

“What?” He whispers.

“N-Nothing,” you attempt to save your dignity and the friendship you’ve built with him.

“You liked me?” He sits up, staring directly at you now. Your eyes stay on the screen, wishing your bed could swallow you whole at that very moment.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Mark asks, clearly frustrated.

“Because it didn’t matter,” you mutter and he scoffs, standing up at your words.

“Of course it matters! Y/n, why didn’t you tell me!” He says loudly, and you look at him in shock.

“No it didn’t, you’re Mark Lee, you were every girl’s teenage dream! Everyone liked you because you were so cool and smart! You didn’t even know I existed,” You finally let out, “besides you were always dating someone — how was I supposed to tell you?”

“By talking to me? God y/n, you act like I was going to be disgusted by you or something!” He says loudly, trying not to yell.

“Because I thought you were! Mark don’t you get it? You’re this great, handsome guy that is way out of my league, you’re too good for me, always have been, always will! I’m a nobody, okay? You’re supposed to be with someone like Gwen.. not me,” you yell, and surprisingly Mark’s eyes soften. You always expected him to yell and tell you to never talk to him ever, that he is actually disgusted by you and never wants to see you again.. but he doesn’t.

“Y/N,” he sighs before taking a deep breath, “I love you, okay?”

“Mark don’t lie-“

“I’m being serious! You think I never noticed you in high school? Y/n, you were all I could think about then, I wanted to talk to you so badly and ask you out but whenever I had the chance, you’d scatter like I was a disease! I figured you didn’t like me so I dated other people to get over you,” he confesses, pulling at his hair in frustration, “then I saw you here again and I realized that I can’t get over you, because I love you.”

“You’re lying.. you don’t mean it, you’re just being nice,” you stammer, shaking your head as tears flood your eyes, “how can you love me? you’re Mark Lee-“

“You keep saying that, but this Mark Lee loves you.. so just let me love you,” he says, grabbing your cheek to wipe away your flowing tears.

“Why? Why do you love me? I’m not like the girls you’ve dated,” you whisper, and he gives you a smile.

“I only dated them to get over you,” he pulls you to the edge of the bed to keep you close, “I dated them, but I only love you.”

“Mark?” “Yeah?”

“Please kiss me,” you finally say, staring at his bright eyes up close for the first time ever.

He smiles and leans down, capturing your lips in a longing kiss. The kiss is everything you hoped it would be and more. His lips are as soft as his hands that hold your hips perfectly, his mouth moves smoothly against your own and he’s just as amazing as you always knew he’d be.

You make the bold move of moving backwards on your bed so he can climb over you in the midst of the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck as he lays snug on top of you.

His mouth moves skillfully on your own and you run your hands through his hair in delight. Unconsciously, you wrap your legs around his waist, bringing his groin close to your heat. The kiss turns needier and his hands run from your hip to your thigh, gripping it. Licking his bottom lip with your tongue, he opens his mouth and welcomes it with his. Your mouths move faster, as you both are clearly turned on and the atmosphere is getting hotter.

Lifting your hips up, you grind against his hard-on, eliciting a shocked moan from Mark. You repeat the motion before he catches on, moving his hips into yours as well. His hard-on flicking deliciously against your centre. Breaking away from his mouth, you moan softly when he hits your clit exactly. He keeps doing it, kissing down your neck.

You’re so close but you know it isn’t enough to get you there, so you push him off softly onto the bed. “I’m sorry, did I do something?-“

“Shh, Mark, I just wanna suck you off,” you whisper, unbuckling his belt. His eyes blink wide repeatedly, and he nods, helping you pull down his pants. His dick is straining painfully against his dark briefs and you palm him softly, before pulling them down his legs.

“And you have a pretty dick too? Mark Lee you’re not fair,” you hum, leaning down to lick his tip. He’s long, not necessarily thick but big enough to have your panties soak further at the sight. A nice red tip and shaved, not a single hair on his pelvis.

Swirling your tongue around his tip, you look up at his reaction as your mouth envelopes around his length. You move softly at first, enjoying every moan that comes from his lips. “F-Fuck, I can’t believe this is actually happening,” he stutters, throwing his head back.

You giggle and start to bob your head faster, gaining a rhythm that has him twitching underneath you. “Oh my god, I’m so fucking close already,” he groans, his hands gripping your hair in his fingers, “oh god, I’m gonna cum if you keep-“

This only makes you go harder, dropping your mouth as far as you can go and swallowing at his tip. “Holy shit, fuck fuck fuck, I can’t hold it-I’m gonna cum-“ you feel it hit the back of your throat, streams of warmth flooding your mouth. Mark stutters, hips twitching before he calms down, releasing his grip in your hair.

You wipe at your mouth with a small smile and he looks at you in disbelief, “you literally made me come in two minutes.”

“Think you can do the same for me?” You say coyly and he grins, pushing you on the bed this time. He pulls your soft cotton shorts down your legs to show off your bare womanhood, and he groans at the sight. “So this whole time you’ve been wearing no panties beside me?”

He doesn’t wait for you to say something before he leans down and licks a stripe up for center, making your shutter. Holding your legs apart, he eats you out softly, carefully and taking his time. You softly mewl at the feeling, grabbing his hair. “I need your fingers, please,” you beg, feeling your high so close.

He licks one of his long fingers before rubbing it on your clit, dragging it down and pushing it in slowly. He mouths at you again while simultaneously fingering you, making your legs tremble in pleasure.

“Oh Mark,” you moan, “yes right there.”

“You’re so hot like this,” he mumbles into your clit, “I’ve wanted you here, like this, for such a long time.”

He wastes no time moving his finger quicker, mouthing at your pussy like a starved man and your toes curl, as you near your high.

“I’m gonna-“ you gasp, holding on to his hair when he pushes another finger in, fucking you hard with them. “Shit, shit, fuck-“ Your back arches off your bed and your legs grip around his head as you come, body finally relaxing after a few moments.

When you finally look at Mark, he’s staring at you in awe, mouth glistening with your arousal and chest huffing to catch his breath. It’s a beautiful sight to see and you give anything to see him just like this forever. Pulling him in for a kiss, you taste yourself on his tongue but you don’t mind it, enjoying his lips on yours instead.

He pulls away after a few moments and sighs happily, “I can die a happy man now,” he grins, pulling you beside him to cuddle and you giggle, but that only lasts a moment before you begin to wonder what will happen now. Does this mean you’re a couple? Was this just a bit of fun for him?

“Hey,” he tilts your chin up, “what’s with the frown pretty girl?”

“I’m just thinking.. what does this mean?” You find the courage to say, “are we a thing now?”

“Y/n.. you've always been my girl, just took awhile for you to finally realize,” he kisses your forehead. The action brings warmth to your heart and you lay your head on his chest, finally closing your eyes and letting them rest for the night.

The next morning, the sunlight from outside shines through your room and hits you directly in the face, waking you up after a few moments. You move away and blink repeatedly, adjusting your eyes to the light before looking beside you, with an empty spot. Sitting up, you look around the room and there is no trace of Mark anywhere, not a note not his clothes, absolutely nothing.

Quickly checking your phone, you’re only met with social media notifications and no messages or calls from Mark as usual. It takes a moment for you to realize what this means before it finally settles in, and tears flood your eyes in anger.

“Fuck you Mark Lee!” You yell out, throwing your phone across the room, “stupid, stupid, stupid!”

You collapse back into bed and cry your heart out. Of course he didn’t mean what he said, of course he doesn’t want you. What did you expect? He’s Mark Lee! Guys like him don’t fall for girls like you. You were so stupid to believe him, that he could actually love someone like you. All he wanted was to get his dick wet and that’s it.

You were so stupid.

The days following you’re either in your room crying all night or attending your morning classes. He hasn’t contacted you yet, not even a stupid ‘sorry’ text to make himself feel better. As if he even feels bad.

At least Jisoo is finally back, and when she finds that Mark has broken your heart, she is on a rampage to kill him. “How could he do this to you?! That little shit!” Were her exact words before she consoled you and cancelled her dick appointment that night to have a girl’s night with you.

You try your best to avoid Mark on campus, always surveilling the area before walking somewhere because you can’t deal with seeing him just yet. Though it seems like he’s doing the same, because you never catch him walking around and it’s as if he’s gone off the face of the earth. Good, as he should.

Sadly enough, classes are back in session and now you have chapters to catch up on that you’ve missed since the incident. So you’re in the library once again, trying to get ready for finals like everyone else in the room. Normally you’d study with Mark and he’d give you tips or make studying fun with his lame jokes.

“Did you hear what happened to Spiderman?” Another student beside you whispers to his friend.

“Yeah I heard, my mom says the neighborhood has gotten dangerous since he disappeared,” the other student tells them, “too bad, wonder what happened?”

“I heard the Avengers got sent on a mission and some got stuck behind, there's a video on YouTube,” the guy tsks, “hope he’s not dead.”

The other person mumbles in agreement and you stop listening to their conversation at that point. Poor Spiderman, the only real good man in New York, now gone. Just your luck huh? Both of your love life’s basically non existing now. Placing your headphones back in, you play some music to focus back on your work.

That night, you’re waiting for Jisoo to get back from the convenience store with your snacks to watch some cheesy chick flick that she has been begging you to watch. The movie is all set up on your computer and you’re in your comfy pjs with fuzzy socks to keep your feet warm. Scrolling through your phone while you wait, there is a quick knock on your door, signaling that Jisoo’s back. “Did you get the-“ you open the door and stop mid sentence when you’re greeted by Mark Lee instead of your roommate. He looks tired, eyes rimmed with dark circles and the same clothes he was wearing the night he used you. His hair is shaggier like he hasn’t cut it and there’s a shadow on his upper lip.

“What are you doing here?” You hiss and he looks hurt, but not surprised.

“Y/n, please listen to me, I know you’re mad but I didn’t mean to hurt you. It’s just that-“

“Oh really? You didn’t mean to hurt me? Didn’t mean to get yourself off and then pretend like it never happened?”

“No that’s not what it was-“ “Then what? You were just feeling horny and thought you could use me? That you could come here weeks later and I’d forgive you?”

“Y/n, please, let me explain. I love you, I really do-“

You cut him off once again, “Don’t. Don’t you ever say that to me again. You’re a piece of shit Mark, I really cared about you and I thought you were nice. But now I finally realize who you are, you’re too cool for me, you could never like me the same way. I get who you are now, because you’re Mark Lee,” you say all in one breath, before slamming the door on his fake ‘broken’ looking face.

As soon as the door shuts, you fall to ground and let out the hurt tears immediately. You can still hear him outside your door, begging you to open up and let him explain but you don’t care if he hears you cry, because you don’t give a shit anymore. For years you’ve loved the kid and he’s nothing like you imagined. You should’ve just listened to yourself from the beginning and just stayed away. Oh, how you wish you had listened, because now your high school crush has become your college heartbreak.

It takes him a while to leave and for you to collect yourself and Jisoo finally walks in with the bag of goodies in her hand, that she drops, once she sees you as a mopping mess on the floor. You cry all night again and the cringey movie is forgotten all about.

-

The next day, you don’t leave your room at all, missing all of your morning classes because you're too depressed to get out of bed. Your nose is stuffy and eyes are puffy so you figured you’d save the world from looking at you, a sad mess. You try to distract yourself with some tv, but even that reminds of you Mark. So you opt for the news, and thankfully it’s reported that the remaining lost Avengers are back and safe. It’s the only thing that brings a smile on your face that day, because at least one of your lost loves hasn’t disappointed you.

It doesn’t keep you happy for long though, as the hours go by and you’re still all alone in bed. You attempt to do some homework on your laptop that night and copy notes of today’s class from one of your classmates via screenshot.

You’re in the middle of a paragraph when you hear light tapping on your window and freeze. The tapping continues and you’re confused, because you’re on the top floor. So who the hell is out there?

Sitting up, you pull the curtain back to see a familiar red and blue mask looking at you. Gasping, you open the window for him. “Can I come in?” Spiderman asks, holding himself on a web with ease. You nod slowly and scoot aside to give him room. He climbs in and looks around your dorm.

“Cute room,” he says and turns back to you but you’re still gaping at him.

“How do you- How did you find me?” you stutter and he chuckles lightly.

“I have my ways, just came by to check on the cute girl I rescued a while ago,” he flirts, causing you to blush. Holy shit! Spiderman is in your room! Flirting with you!

“Are you okay? I heard you were trapped?” You ask him, trying to keep your cool.

“Yeah but I'm okay, got out of there alive so,” he laughs awkwardly, and suddenly you get a sense of familiarity from him, “whatcha doing?”

“Notes, missed class today,” you say, and he tsks.

“How come?” He turns his mask covered head to the side in question.

“Didn’t feel well, stress, some problems I’m having,” you say sadly, but give him a fake smile to cover it, “no biggie.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Spiderman, are you telling me you snuck into my room at 12am to talk about my life problems?” You joke, giving him a real smile this time.

“Hey, problems are problems, even if they're not life or death, I’m still here for everyone.”

“It’s nothing, I’m just stupid sometimes,” you shake your head, “I thought this boy liked me but guess I wasn’t good enough. I should’ve known, my fault.”

“How do you know he doesn’t like you? Did he say he didn’t?”

“Well no but he hurt me, he ignored me for a long time and pretended like I didn’t exist,” you retort and he nods.

“Did you let him explain why? Maybe he had a good reason.” He defends, and you give him a slight frown.

“Who’s side are you on?” You tilt your head, “I hope you’re on mine, I mean he broke my heart. I cried for days over him, he lied to me and told me that he loves me but ignores me? What’s there to explain?”

Spiderman looks down at his lap for a moment before standing up and pacing around the room.

“Y/n,” he says, finally turning to you, “he is sorry, he wants to tell you what happened, but if you would just let him explain. He didn’t want to leave you that night, he wasn’t going to until there was an emergency.”

“Huh? How do you know he left?” You ask him, puzzled, “did Mark put you up to this?”

“No gosh, Y/n,” he groans before shaking his head, “I am Mark.”

“What? That doesn’t make sense? How can you be Mark? You’re Spiderman!”

He doesn’t answer but takes a deep breath, before lifting his mask and revealing his identity. Truth be told, Mark is behind it with a nervous look on his face and your eyes widen.

“Mark! Oh my god,” you blink repeatedly, “you’re actually him?”

“I am, I was going to tell you after that night but then,” he winces at the memory, “I had to leave, I was supposed to come back before you even woke up but some of us were stranded in another galaxy.”

“So you didn’t leave on purpose? You were gonna come back?”

He nods, “I’m really sorry y/n, if I had known I’d be gone for so long I would’ve told you.”

The room is quiet for a few moments and Mark is standing there unsure if you believe him and if you’re going to kick him out again.

“Mark,” you whisper, instantly running towards him to hug him. He sighs in relief, holding you tightly. His body starts to shake like he’s scared that if he lets you go, you’ll leave.

“I’m sorry Mark,” you mumble into his suit with wet tears, “I should’ve let you explain.”

“It’s okay,” he rubs your back, “we’re okay now, I’m never leaving you again.”

You hold each other for a long time, swaying a bit as you wipe your tears. He lifts your chin and kisses you softly on the mouth, then your nose and cheeks.

“So you saved me that day?” You ask and he nods shyly. “So you were my hero? That’s pretty hot.”

“It was nothing really,” he blushes, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Remember what I told you that night?”

“What?” He asks as you stare at him coyly before realizing what you meant, “oh, oh.”

“Yeah, oh,” you kiss his cheek, then his lips softly, before going down his strong jaw and neck. Suckling on the supple skin, you give him a love bite, proudly claiming him as yours. He moans at the feeling, before bringing your mouth to his again. Your arms wrap around his neck and his roam down your body until they reach your legs. He lifts them, wrapping them around his waist with ease like you weigh as much as a feather and takes you towards your bed.

You lay back and his kisses go down your neck. His hands cup one of your breasts through your shirt, and he feels the peaks as you’re not wearing a bra.

Mark breaks away from your mouth for a moment to lift your shirt over your head, before sucking on one of your nipples. He holds the other in his hand, moving in circular motions. You hum in delight and he smiles, kissing down your tummy. You know what his next move is but you stop his hands from reaching your waistband. “Wait Mark,” you mumble, bringing him back up to meet your lips, “I can’t wait anymore, I really want you inside of me.”

“O-Oh, yeah, sure,” his eyes widened and Mark stands up, tapping on his chest to release his suit, falling to his knees. He trips on the material as he tries to get out of it, causing a laugh to come from you. “Sorry, sorry!”

Finally when he’s all composed, he towers over you, “hi,” he says shyly and you giggle.

“God I love you,” you smile and he says it back, kissing you once more.

Your bottoms come off along with his and he hisses when your wet lips come in contact with the tip of dick. “Do you have, uh, a condom?”

You shake your head, “no but I’m clean, and on birth control.”

“Oh thank god,” he whispers and slides his tip between your lower lips, collecting your arousal for lubrication. Finally, he pushes in and pulls out halfway to get you used to his size. “Please Mark,” you raise your hips and his dick pushes all the way in.

“Oh my, fuck,” Mark groans, dropping his head onto your shoulder as he bottoms out, “you’re so tight.” He starts a pace, moving faster with every thrust until he has you a mess underneath him.

“Yes just like that,” you moan, watching where your bodies meet. You feel so full, better than you ever have before and he fits inside of you perfectly, hitting all the spots that have you seeing stars.

His movements never falter and you’d like to thank his superhero strength for it. “I’m gonna come,” you whimper, holding onto his forearms.

And as if he couldn’t move any faster, he does and it makes your eyes roll to the back of your head. “Come for me baby,” he tells you, his voice deeper than usual. It’s all it takes for you to get to your high, scratching down his back as your body shakes.

He slows his thrusts so you can catch your breath. You take whatever strength you have left to push Mark on to the bed, straddling his waist. Putting him back in, you move your hips up and down slowly, watching his reaction. His bottom lip is caught between his teeth, sweat cascading down his body and his soft hair is sticking in different places. He looks so sexy and it only encourages you further to ride him harder.

“You have no idea how long–oh fuck,” he groans when you swivel your hips, “how long I’ve dreamt of you riding me like this.”

You continue to move up and down, back and forth until he’s gripping your hips harshly, so sure enough there will be marks in the morning. Mark is a complete mess at your touch, muttering praises and groans into the air. You’re so close again already but you want to make him feel good, so you tighten yourself around him.

“F-Fuck, I’m gonna come,” he gasps, throwing his head back, “keep riding me just like that.” You lift your hips higher and move harder on his cock until he’s crying out your name with a curse.

“Oh fuck,” he groans, filling you with streams of his warm arousal.

Mark shutters under you until he’s completely soft and you lift off of him. His come runs down your thigh and he quickly grabs a tissue from your nightstand to clean you up. Wiping himself down, he tosses it in your trash bin before giving you a shy smile. You both climb into your bed and under the sheets to enjoy a bit of cuddling and pillow talk.

Hours go by before you know it, and you snuggle into his neck tiredly. “Mm, ‘missed you,” Mark mumbles, keeping you close to him.

“I missed you too,” you smile, “missed spiderman too.”

“Yeah? You still in love with him?” he looks at you and jokes.

“Mm, not really,” you shake your head and Mark furrows his brows, “I’m in love with you, the nerdy and goofy version of you.”

“Doesn’t sound very cool,” he scrunches his nose.

“Yeah, well, who do you prefer? Spiderman, the one who has to fight crime all day? Or Mark Lee, the one I get to ride everyday now?” You kiss his neck and he shivers at your words.

“Mark Lee sounds pretty cool now I think about it,” he mumbles.

“Really now? Well then you better come here, bugboy,” you whisper, bringing him in for another kiss.

His phone buzzes loudly, breaking the kiss and he reaches over. Reading the text, Mark gives you a look of worry but you shake your head.

“Go get ‘em Spiderman,” you smile proudly and he kisses you sweetly. Getting his suit back on, he slips his mask over his face, “I’ll be back this time, I promise!”

“Good, I love you Mark.”

“I love you too,” he tells you lovingly, before opening your window and jumping out smoothly.

Who would’ve thought your high school crush would be your college boyfriend? And a hot fricking superhero!

-

a/n: thank u god for mark lee and spiderman

[phaticserpent]

may I request some angst with an s\o who almost dies trying to save ultron with a good ending

🥺 I hope you like it (sorry it took so long! I know it’s a bit basic, but I couldn’t think of anything)

Trigger warning: violence, cursing

You ended the phone call and glanced at Ultron, he won’t like this.

“What was it about?”

“Uh, apparently, our group was hired by Stark—“ you have never seen Ultron stand up that fast. “Before you say anything, they told us he’s going to be busy and we won’t see him.”

“Perhaps not but he has a tendency to flirt around. Doesn’t matter how busy he is, he’ll sneak in.”

“Ultron, I promise you, I won’t even go near him.”

“You don’t have to promise me anything.....just, be safe.”

“I will.” He pulled you in for a kiss and you snuck a hand around his neck, smirking as he melted under your touch. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Ultron smiled. “Now go, you’re going to be late!” He laughed. You left the condo, hailed a taxi to Stark Tower. Your engineer team was already there, with a few missing members.

“You must be [Y/N], nice to meet you. I’m Pepper.” She introduced. She guided the group to the lab, you grinned as your entire team gawked at the condition of the equipment. “I’m sure Mr. Stark will want to meet you all. You’re free to use anything in here. Good luck.” Within a few hours, everyone started building. The project was to try and limit pollution in every city, according to Stark, your group was the closest.

“The mastermind! [Not your name but something close], right?” Tony Stark himself strutted in.

“Uh, it’s [Y/N] sir.”

“Right! I like the way you think, your idea is impeccable and brilliant!”

“Thank you, sir.” You smiled. “I couldn’t have done it without them.” Tony waved at your teammates, who all swooned.

“Wow, you even went ahead and built it! You didn’t have to.” He inspected the draft, prototype and the final sketches.

“We know you’re a busy man.....so we thought we would save you the time.” You shrugged.

“My dear, you are, a lifesaver.” Tony praised. “Right, I’ll get out of your way! Good luck to you all!” Everyone waved goodbye to him as he left, only for him to jump back in.

“Oh, one more thing, if you ever need anything, Pepper is just down the hall.”

“Thank you.”

“My pleasure.” And with that, he was gone. One by one, your teammates disappeared as the sky darkened. You smiled at the fast pace and how much you accomplished, before checking the time. “Wow! May I offer you a ride home?” Tony appeared, you jumped in shock.

“Uhh no thank you.” You smiled. “I have enough money for a taxi.”

“No need. I’ll take you home, come on dear.” He started walking and you followed after him, a bit unsure. Stupid social anxiety.....he seems nice? The car was.....shiny and glorious. It was too luxurious for your taste.

“Uh, wow! That’s.....woah.”

“Doesn’t give off a lot of pollution, designed her that way. Get in!” He opened the passgender door for you and you politely climbed in. “So, where do you live?” You gave him your address and quickly texted Ultron.

[ So I’m in Stark’s car, he offered me a ride home.......don’t come out?? ]

[ Are you okay? ]

[ Yeah :,) I didn’t want to seem rude ]

[ Oh, [Y/N] ]

[ :P ]

[ I’ll see you soon ]

“Should I put on music?” Tony asked.

“Uh sure!” You smiled. When he tapped on the screen, your ears begged to turn it off. How loud does he listen to his music? Holy shit my ears.....I’m going to be deaf by morning. The entire ride was absolutely awkward. By the time you reached your house, you jumped out of the car. “Thank you for the ride!” Thinking it was the end until he got out.

“Wow! That is one pretty house. Do you live alone?”

“Uhhh I have a boyfriend.....he comes home late.”

“Figures. I’ll escort you to the entrance.”

“That’s okay!” But he didn’t listen. You knew he was being nice and cautious, however he melt making the entire situation uncomfortable. He took the elevator to your house, peeking inside. You could tell Ultron hid anything that gave away his identity and you let out a breath of relief.

“What does your boyfriend do?”

“He’s uh......a Doctor.” You immediately got a text.

[ A doctor? Seriously? O.o ]

[ Hey, you’d be a great doctor. Now shut up, it’s hard improvising ]

“Cool cool. I’m going to head out, I look forward to seeing your lovely face tomorrow. And that ass.” Tony winked at you. Before you could even register what happened, Ultron flew out of the room and tackled him.

“Say that again.” He growled. Ultron pushed Tony into a wall.

“I thought you were dead.” Tony coughed.

“Well, you failed.”

“So he’s your boyfriend? Damn.” Another cough. He extended his arm and something crashed through the window.

“Please stop!!” Your cries ended up on deaf ears. You stood there helplessly, wishing you had some kind of fighting ability. Both Ultron and Iron man flew out the window, wrestling with each other in the sky. You couldn’t help out other than clear the destroyed furnitures. You were unsure who was winning, until Tony crashed in the house. He aimed at Ultron and fired. You jumped to catch the blast, all you could feel was unbearable pain and your vision blurred. Your entire body twitched and breathing grew to be difficult.

“[Y/N]!” Ultron rushed to your aid. “Why? What would you do that?”

“I’ll take her to the hospital.”

“Don’t touch her.” Ultron clutched you closer and Tony pulled his hand back.

“You really love her......”

“And you took her from me.” Ultron cried. “You and the Avengers take everything! You could’ve left us alone......you could’ve left her alone.”

“I’m sorry.....I didn’t know you were her boyfriend!”

“Doesn’t give you the right to flirt or say something inappropriate about her body.”

“Okay, okay. But we’re losing time, we need to treat [Y/N]. If we don’t, she’ll die.” Tony exited his suit. “We need some medical supplies—“

“I already called a sentry.”

“So there’s more of you......great.”

“After Sokovia, I rebuilt myself and went into hiding. Thanks to you.”

“Stop arguing.” Your voice was weak and barely audible, but they managed to hear. “If I die, I’ll come back and kick both of your asses.” Ultron and Tony chuckled.

The sentry arrived rather quickly with S.H.I.E.L.D’s medical kit, which Tony gawked over. Once they were done, Ultron wrapped the wound with ace bandages and laid you on the couch, which was surprisingingly in a better condition than the other furnitures.

“I guess I have to pay for all......this.” Tony motioned to the destruction. “If......if you want, I can get Vision to restore you.”

“I’d rather avoid another encounter with the Avengers.”

“That’s understandable.” With that, he left. Ultron sat down.

“Why did you take that. You know I can withstand it, I have more bodies......it wouldn’t effect me.”

“I love you, dummy. I don’t want to see you die.”

“But I won’t.”

“Dummy, I said I would do anything for you. I would die for you.”

“You’re the ‘dummy’ here.” Ultron chuckled. “You scared me, I don’t know what I would’ve done if you were ever taken from me.”

“Lucky I have you.”

“It’s the other way around.” He leaned in to give you a gentle kiss on the forehead. “You need to rest.....what kind of soup do you want?”

“I’ll eat anything you make.” You wiggled your brows.

“Food, [Y/N]. Food!”

“Yes, you’re a snack.”

[lightsandlostbells]

wtFOCK season 3, episode 5 reaction

This whole episode I kept doing that Marge Simpson groan. You know, the one that’s like tight-lipped and this low, exasperated mmm from deep in the throat? That was me constantly.

Episode 5

Clip 1 - Jens gives Robbe sex advice

Robbe texts his mom and says to her he can’t visit, lying that it’s because he’s sick. One repeated element that does exist in this season is Robbe listening to music on his headphones, which is him retreating into himself, or using music to cope. The song lyrics reflect that: “I used to feel so alone, now I’m feeling better on my own.”

Since I’ve been trying to think of ways to rewrite this season, they could expand Robbe using music as a coping strategy even further. Music should have been something that Robbe bonds with Sander over. And not just Sander’s recommendation of Bowie, either, which is all they’ve done so far - it seems like Robbe should give recs or insight as well. Talk about how important music is to him with Sander. Make it a serious point in their developing relationship.

Jens skates up and talks to Robbe. Robbe wants to get high, but Jens doesn’t have weed with him at the moment. He asks Robbe if he’s thought about the Brrrothers, because they’re not the same without Robbe. Robbe snaps and turns away from him, then lies and says his bad mood is about Noor. Jens has already heard that they’re fighting.

Jens’ talk to Robbe, knowing that Noor wants to have sex and Robbe doesn’t, is actually pretty sweet. Even though he doesn’t understand the real reason why Robbe doesn’t want to, his talk is thoughtful and not shaming Robbe for being a nervous virgin, it’s considerate of him. Considering the Brrrothers have been obnoxious about sex and girls all season, this was a refreshing change. One question I do have is how Jens knew that Noor wanted sex and Robbe didn’t, but I guess it was implied that this explanation was part of the rumor mill. 

Of course, the downside is that Jens’ advice prompts Robbe to text Noor about how he misses her and wants to meet up. Bad, Robbe! I don’t know if Jens’ talk encouraged Robbe to text her because Robbe was like “Yeah, I’m supposed to like Noor, better get back on that,” or because maybe he genuinely told himself, “I just don’t want to have sex with her because I’m nervous, yeah, that must be it,” and decided to just move forward with it. 

I do like drama that comes from characters trying to be helpful but unintentionally saying or doing the wrong thing - that’s what happens in the locker room scene with Isak and Even. When Isak says he’s better off without mentally ill people in his life, he’s telling Even this as a way of saying that his mother won’t cause problems for them, he doesn’t care what she’ll think of them dating. So taken on its own, I think this scene is fine.

HOWEVER. The pacing of this season is again, SO SO weird, because this scene would have fit right in around episodes 2-3? Right after Robbe tried and failed to have sex with Noor, you know ... the first time? Or the second, or the third? Like … have it be in line with Isak’s episode 3 sexuality crisis, all the “why does he have to be so gay” stuff. It would’ve worked well to have this talk at like, the beginning of episode 3, and then have Robbe making the “that guy is so gay” comment as an unintentional result of this - by trying to convince himself he is just straight and nervous and distancing himself from being gay. We had three entire scenes of Robbe failing to fuck Noor, so narratively, why did we need to wait this long for Jens to talk to him about it? 

Clip 2 - AGAIN?

Robbe invites Noor over to bone. He’s lit about a million candles and is trying to make this a big romantic deal, except lmao, he has on David Bowie’s Life on Mars … Robbe … what u doing…

Actually, I’m not sure if this is diegetic music or not, if Robbe is blasting Bowie from his phone as mood music or if he’s only hearing this song inside his head. I think we’re definitely meant to take away that Robbe is hearing the song since it gets distorted as he slinks down Noor’s body, and that it’s not just there for the audience. In either case, Sander is supposedly the shadow hanging over this sad hetero affair.

Tbh listening to Life on Mars is the best part of this season and I wish I could just like … listen to this song play against a black screen instead of watching poorly written, repetitive clips.

They start to get it on and he takes off her shirt, unhooks her bra, yadda yadda, he doesn’t look happy but he soldiers on and it’s implied they went All The Way. On the one hand, I will rage if they actually had sex. On the other hand, if they don’t, it’s yet another clip where the same shit happens, Robbe tries to bang Noor and fails.. 

Clip 3 - Robbe’s not turned on by Noor and this is BRAND NEW INFORMATION

… okay, so he didn’t have sex with her AGAIN? He couldn’t get it up?

For fuck’s sake. I mean, on the one hand I’m glad it was actually Robbe’s choice (apparently) to put a stop to the sex instead of like, someone else walking in and interrupting yet again, but on the other hand, I feel like we have done this scene SO MUCH. We KNOW. About the only thing that’s changed I guess is that Robbe kissed a boy and now he’s trying to be straight? If this was only like the second time this scene had happened, it would have been fine.

I just don’t have a coherent idea of Robbe’s arc. This season is going in circles. 

Anyway, Robbe couldn’t get it up, Noor is sympathetic, she asks if it’s her, Robbe says she’s amazing, he looks sad and haunted blah blah we’ve already seen this play out.

Why were these separate clips? In the first clip, we have Robbe seemingly determined to have sex with Noor, and then in the second, he can’t get it up. So why not SHOW THE MOMENT OF CHANGE? Are these filmmakers on drugs? This is storytelling 101. Like there’s no reason to split up these clips except to cause a bit of anxiety if you happen to be able to watch the clips at the exact time they’re posted, and from a real-time perspective I get it, but that’s ineffective for the vast majority of people who will have to watch later and then will watch these two clips together at the same time. I mean, the fact that it’s not even 10 minutes in between clips … just SHOW THE WHOLE SCENE. Holy fuck. How are they this incompetent?

The pacing of the scenes themselves is so weird. So many of the clips are oddly short, we don’t NEED them to be split into parts. It makes me really appreciate Julie’s pacing: Skam S3 episodes had 4-6 clips each, and in those clips, we got rich scenes packed with details, often multi-tasking within different story threads. wtFOCK’s pacing is simplistic and choppy and unnecessary.

Clip 4 - Milan gives Robbe a pep talk

Robbe is Googling erectile dysfunction which is honestly kind of funny (but again, probably would have been a better fit for earlier in this season, before Robbe had already kissed a dude ...) Milan comes in wanting advice on two shirts, Robbe is annoyed.

Milan tries to get Robbe to talk to him. It takes some prodding (and I do like how Robbe is swiveling in his chair and not looking at Milan) but Robbe admits there’s a guy who likes him and, after Milan asks, admits that it’s mutual. 

Tbh … I don’t find it so hard to believe that Robbe opened up to Milan even though they’re not anywhere as close as Eskild and Isak, because I do think another gay guy is a “safe” person to talk to about this situation and I can see Robbe doing it. What I do NOT get is why, here and now, Robbe is now openly admitting it. Why did we go from Robbe trying to fuck a girl and, before that, calling the boy he kissed a pervert and a homophobic slur, to admitting his attraction for a boy? Why the sudden turnaround? Based on the clips themselves, all we have to go off as a turning point is that he couldn’t fuck Noor, BUT this is nothing new for either Robbe and the audience, AND not being able to fuck a girl does not actually mean that Robbe would be able to fuck a guy, or that he’s into guys, and it especially doesn’t mean that Robbe would accept that he likes a guy.  I mean, he’s Googling “erectile dysfunction” not “am I gay?” which tbh seems still more like denial than anything. He’s blaming his lack of arousal on a medical issue, not his sexuality.

This scene would feel more true to me if Robbe was like, downplaying his side of it, or playing it off as only Sander had feelings and it wasn’t requited. That’s more in line with the characterization we have just been given, that Robbe is denying his attraction to Sander.

Another way would be to not split up the sex clip and to show like, Robbe flashing back to his kiss with Sander while he’s making out with Noor, so we get that it’s not just that he’s not into Noor, it’s that he’s very into Sander, and we see him grudgingly admit to himself that yes, he’s attracted to Sander (at the very least.) which would make it believable that he admits it to Milan. Cause and effect, etc.

MIlan is like, are you so nervous to tell me you have a crush on another guy (...????? um, yes, Milan, you have to know it’s hard to come out???) but is pretty supportive and says Robbe’s lucky to have him, Milan would have wanted himself when he was going through this. Robbe is just like, I don’t know what I feel and I want everything to be normal, there’s too much shit going on right now. Milan says Robbe IS normal and he doesn’t want to bottle up who he is, the pressure will get too real and he’ll explode, he’ll hurt people. Robbe seems to take this advice seriously, so hopefully this scene will actually lead to cause + effect.

Again, this scene is fine on its own? There’s just something about the pacing of the season as a whole that feels strange.

I don’t know if this is supposed to be the equivalent of the Pride clip, because Robbe doesn’t say anything offensive and Milan didn’t get upset. Milan’s advice is good about not pushing away who you really are, but there’s nothing specifically confronting internalized homophobia, which Robbe desperately needs seeing as he’s had some extremely homophobic outbursts. I think it’s a shame to lose that part of the scene, because it’s got a very pointed and urgent message. (EDIT from the future: We got the Pride clip later in the episode, so that’s good.)

Clip 5 - Robbe tells Jens he likes someone else

Robbe is sitting on the sidelines listening to music again. Jens comes over and asks how things are, Robbe says he took his advice with Noor and Jens is happy that he’s a matchmaker. Robbe is like no, there’s someone else. He says he thought it would go away, but it didn’t. 

For a moment it seems like this might be a sudden coming out scene, but Jens finally asks who it is and Robbe clams up and finds it hard to get out. Jens asks if she goes to their school. Robbe is saved by Moyo wanting to play a game against some guys.

This is some plausible conflict, at the very least, Robbe not being able to tell his friends that he’s into a guy. It would have been way better to focus on this instead of Robbe flinging a slur at Sander. Robbe’s friends seem like the clearest explanation for his internalized homophobia. 

Now Jens needs to follow up on this development, or else turn in his Jonas card. Because there’s dropping the subject if he senses Robbe doesn’t want to tell him yet, and then there’s forgetting about the subject because Jens isn’t that engaged with what’s happening with Robbe, and unfortunately the latter vibe has come across far more than the first. Like why does it seem like Jens is always walking away?

Clip 6 - Robbe breaks up with Noor

Old Town Road is playing as Noor meets Robbe in a cafe. One thing I do notice is that there are a fair amount of gay musicians on the soundtrack this season, so that’s cool.

Robbe is stressed because we can tell he’s gonna try to break up with Noor. He doesn’t order anything to eat. Noor is sympathetic about him not getting it up with her, but Robbe says he needs some time for himself, he has so much shit on his mind. Noor says she can help with that, he’s like nah, Noor is crying and reaching for him desperately. He gets up and walks out.

L O L I heard all about how Robbe supposedly handled this better than Isak, and I mean … on the one hand, I certainly agree that he did Noor a solid by officially breaking up with her and not just running away from her in the hallway. But er ... first of all, Robbe went wayyyyyyyyy farther with Noor than Isak EVER did with Emma. Robbe and Noor had an actual relationship for what, a month? Isak and Emma made out twice and flirted a bit. They were not exclusively, seriously dating. So yeah, Noor is owed this breakup. 

Second, Robbe still cheated on her with Sander before he broke up with her. The fact that they were naked while they made out in the pool frankly adds an on-screen sexual element to the cheating. And technically Isak making out with Even in the pool was not cheating … for sure it was a dick move to lead on Emma and then ditch her like that, I’m not going to say it was NBD, but like I said, they weren’t exclusively dating. I mean, in all my years of Skam fandom, it’s pretty rare that I’ve heard anyone refer to what Isak did as cheating - it’s usually talked about differently than Even cheating on Sonja. Robbe and Sander BOTH cheated on their girlfriends here. 

Third, it’s nice he did this with Noor but lmao, kinda small potatoes considering what Robbe said to Sander. 

Fourth, Robbe just gets up and leaves while she’s crying, lol. He let her order soup and then he ditched her! That’s cold as ice! Bro, you need to stick around until she tells you to leave, or you needed to pick a breakup location where both of you can leave ASAP without someone coming by with the meal you ordered.

And to be clear, I don’t think Robbe not handling this perfectly makes him a terrible person or anything. It’s more the comparison to Isak with how Isak is supposedly worse and Robbe is much nicer. Nah.

Sucks for Noor and all, but whyyyy are they making the Emma character so tragic and emphasizing this het relationship so much? We don’t even end the clip on Robbe’s POV. Because how he feels about this breakup doesn’t matter, I guess. Does he feel guilty? Free? Unsure? Conflicted? IDK because we close on her, not him! I’m sorry, but it’s not her season!

I mentioned this in an earlier reaction but I’m just super tired of gay storylines that have this intense focus on how much someone being gay hurts a straight person. I believe I mentioned Love, Victor as a prominent example, because Victor’s relationship with his girlfriend seemingly gets more screen time than the relationship with his actual male love interest. And I get why this storyline is relevant to a coming out arc, of course I do, but it really bugs me when the het relationship seems to overshadow the gay relationship, as it does here. At this point I feel like Robbe/Noor has been given equal plot relevance as Robbe/Sander, if not more, and that should not be the case. It’s not about shipping, it’s about wanting a story about a gay kid’s journey of self-acceptance to focus more on the life-changing love story that is the catalyst for embracing his sexuality, than the fake passion-less relationship that is doomed to failure that is just a momentary stumble in said journey of self-acceptance. There is no need to demonize Noor, but there is actually a middle ground between treating her with respect and empathy and making her the real victim of this story.

This narrative choice also does not exist in a vacuum. It is completely fair to be skeptical of the prioritization of a het relationship over a gay one. It’s fair to wonder why we’ve gotten multiple scenes of Robbe getting hot and heavy with a girl, why Robbe spends a pivotal clip being so sad about Noor that he doesn’t seem to really notice or care that he’s alone with the guy he supposedly likes. 

I mean, fuck, Robbe seems more upset about hurting Noor’s feelings by breaking up with her for legitimate reasons than he does about hurting Sander’s feelings by calling him a f*g and accusing him of sexual assault.

Clip 7 - Robbe tries to speak with Sander

Robbe goes to school (not his school, Sander’s) and asks where the art room is. He’s in a way better mood, a spring in his step, but LMAO you better pray that Sander actually wants to talk to you rather than kick your ass or avoid you for all eternity because of what you said to him.

Sander is sketching a nude male model. Robbe seems happy just to see him. He walks away and goes to the bathroom, fixes his hair, stares in the mirror, takes a deep breath. Then he goes up to Sander after the bell rings. Robbe wants to talk, Sander is not having it and walks away. Robbe is sad, angsty music plays. 

Uhhhhh, serves you right? No offense but I can’t even feel sad for Robbe in this scenario, because what he did crossed a line. Internalized homophobia is a hell of a drug, but there’s such a difference between Robbe just denying that the kiss meant anything or blaming it on being drunk or whatever, and essentially accusing Sander of sexual assault and calling him a slur. It’s not an ignorant mistake, it’s a malicious one. I feel bad that Robbe ever had such self-hatred that he made those comments in the first place and I certainly don’t hate him or think he should be forever alone, but it is 100% understandable why Sander would not want to speak to him after that.

Also, going up to Sander at his school was not the best move, because he’s basically ambushing him. Sander doesn’t have a choice whether to deal with Robbe in that moment. It would’ve been better if Robbe sent him some kind of apology text or voicemail first and left it up to Sander whether he wanted to meet. I get that’s not as good for televised dramaaaa, but it’s kinder to Sander. (And if Sander doesn’t respond, or if he’s blocked Robbe, well, those are just consequences of Robbe’s actions that he’ll have to live with.)  EDIT: Robbe actually did contact Sander first via text, wanting to meet up so he could explain. That does make it somewhat better, although I still think he shouldn’t have approached him at school. If Sander doesn’t want to talk to you? Then give him space. Maybe he’ll be willing to hear you out in time, or maybe he’ll decide he’s better off without you, but Robbe’s the one who did something wrong and it’s not up to Robbe whether Sander forgives him.

Clip 8 - Robbe and Sander make up and kiss

Angsty music keeps playing as Robbe walks home. He sees a mom and her kids playing, more sadness presumably due to his own family troubles.

Sander has followed him and says he has five minutes. Robbe’s like “Why don’t you want to talk?” LMAO IDK ROBBE, WHAT COULD IT BE. 

Robbe says he’s sorry and that he loves Sander. LMAO WHAT. Is this a nuance of translation where “I love you” isn’t as strong as it is in English? Are you kidding me? 

First of all … he LOVES Sander when they’ve barely interacted? They’ve spoken only a handful of times. Hell, they only met in episode 3, and this is episode 5. It’s been like two weeks since they’ve met, and while I could buy that some ships fell in love in that short of time, this is sure as fuck not one of them.

Second … Robbe goes from shoving Sander and calling him horrible things and trying to fuck Noor, to professing his love for Sander, WITHIN DAYS? And this is the character who’s supposed to have a big coming out arc? What is nuance, what is good writing, what is a coherent idea of this character’s struggles with his sexuality and himself... The talk with Milan might convince Robbe to accept his feelings, but it would make way more sense if Robbe was more tentative about them. He doesn’t need to come out swinging the big epic declarations in order to accept his romantic interest in Sander.

Like this isn’t even based on what I personally think is believable for a romance, this is based on what wtFOCK has told me about this character! They made the choice to make him say more viciously homophobic things. They made the choice to have him go back to Noor and try to have sex with her for the millionth time.

I’m glad that Sander doesn’t buy the confession at first, at least. 

Robbe says that he was really fucked up and hat Sander is the first dude. There is a cute moment where he’s like “that kiss (mimes fireworks)” but then things went Chernobyl. Would have been great if we saw exactly what made him go Chernobyl and make him regret the kiss. He says he’s sorry but asks for one more chance.

Sander steps in, leans in for a kiss. “What about Chernobyl?” “Fuck Chernobyl.” They kiss, it’s really sweet, but lol they’re kissing in public??? Robbe is ok with this?? I just have abso-fucking-lutely no idea where this kid’s head is. Like ... how is he so cool with this considering where he was just days ago? Apparently Robbe’s internalized homophobia was so extreme that he was all “get away from me f*g” toward Sander with no clear catalyst, but also not so extreme that it couldn’t be fixed with a pep talk from Milan? Okay!

This scene would have been totally fine if Robbe’s mistake was less cruel and amounted to blocking Sander or telling him to stay away or w/e. It doesn’t feel satisfying for what Robbe actually did say.

Also, sigh, because Sander did forgive Robbe just like that, and I don’t buy it. I mean, if anything, it makes me sad for Sander. I want to tell him that he deserves better. I suppose I can buy this as part of his fear that no one will ever love him, that he’s desperate to be accepted and loved and so is quick to forgive.

It would have made more sense for Robbe to have a longer period of self-reflection, have him come out to his friends, etc. and then reunite with Sander an episode or so later, similar to how Isak and Even reunited at the end of episode 7. Or to have Sander take some time before letting Robbe talk to him, during which Robbe works on his own issues.

Sander gets a call from Britt, which he ignores, saying Britt’s the past, he and Robbe are the future (as the song lyrics talk about the future and the past … they’re going pretty on the nose this season. Fine by me, OG was also on the nose.) Lmao but Robbe has no right to be upset about Britt after he explicitly told Sander to stay away. I mean, it’s dubious of Sander to keep dating her after cheating, but he also thought Robbe was no longer an option sooo don’t be surprised Sander is still with her, dude.

Sander goes to meet Britt, but not before some make outs, some handholding. I think their chemistry is good! It’s just that I don’t really buy the depth of this relationship. It legit makes me sad that these actors are getting served this half-assed material. 

Clip 9 - Zoë gets a letter

Robbe goes home and gets a text from Sander, with a sketch of them, saying their kiss was Chernobyl. Well, that’s cute.

Milan is telling Zoë about seeing some straight-looking dude on the bus who melted when Milan looked at him. Robbe is in a good mood and is gonna do the cooking. Milan observes that he’s happy and asks if things went well with his (Robbe looks toward Zoë) “lovely girlfriend”. At least Milan covered for him! (EDIT from the future: Ahahaha, funny considering how casually people out Robbe this season...) 

Robbe hands Zoë some mail that turns out to do with Viktor, the apparent Nikolai in this version, about the case going to court. She has to testify. She is upset and walks out of the kitchen.

I complained a bit about Zoë/Senne drama taking up time in Robbe’s season, but to be clear, I have no problem with them following up on this plot point from S2. It’s a hugely important story. But I also think it works best if you integrate it into Robbe’s story, by drawing a parallel to their situations, finding a common theme, etc. And it depends on whether Robbe’s story is otherwise satisfactory, because if the writing is pretty tight, I’m not really bothered by digressions in other characters’ subplots. 

Clip 10 - Robbe and Sander get cozy

Oh hey, it’s the big cuddling clip! Robbe and Sander goof off, pillow fight, smoke a joint, make out. Mostly make out. Sander shows Robbe a sketch of him (Robbe) and implies how good it would look on a wall (big). 

Robbe’s fave actor is Leonardo DiCaprio, because hasn’t Sander seen Romeo + Juliet? It’s fucking beautiful.

Man, on the one hand, sick Skam reference, and it’s just a simple, cute little nod to OG, not something complicated. I can dig that. But on the other hand, now I’m annoyed at how Isak got all of this beautiful development and watching R+J actually meant something for his character, and Robbe has absolutely nothing like that. Stuff like the fact it’s Robbe who likes R+J instead of Sander, WHICH IS FINE, but like … doesn’t say anything about Robbe’s view on masculinity or w/e, doesn’t do much for his characterization.

Sander takes pics of Robbe. Their chemistry is cute. Once again I despair at gifted actors being given subpar material leading up to this clip.

LMAO at them copying the dialogue from OG, Sander being all life is like a movie. Again, irrationally annoyed because this dialogue MEANT something to Even. Even was a huge film buff and an aspiring director. Sander hasn’t mentioned movies at all, he’s into art and David Bowie and photography. So why not have Sander quote some Bowie lyrics that explain his thoughts on life? Mention what art means to him? Personalize this dialogue so that it’s specific to Sander. Or, if you’re going to borrow this chunk of dialogue, at least establish Sander as a film enthusiast prior to this clip.

Also that Isak brought up the multiverse theory because he was smart and inquisitive, but I have no idea who the fuck Robbe is. Does this make sense with Robbe’s prior characterization? Shrug.

I do like the multiverse reference to Spider-Man because HELL YEAH Into the Spider-Verse!!! Fucking masterpiece! I could be watching that for the 20th time instead of the upcoming gay-bashing hate crime.

I do like Sander’s acting in this scene and his reaction, how the music (“Ocean Eyes”) stops when Sander starts talking about multiverse theory. His dialogue is a little different here than OG, about thinking about what he’s done and wondering why he thinks something, his thoughts never stop, which fits in with bipolar disorder.

Robbe notices he’s a little agitated, Sander says the only way to stop your thoughts is from dying. So I guess we’re putting in the suicidal thoughts in this version?

“Sometimes I forget how young you are.” Are they the same age in this version? Lmao. It’s a joke so it’s not a big deal.

Robbe starts kissing him and asks when Sander fell for him. Sander is like, before you! When Robbe was spraying the graffiti he knew Robbe was the one. Robbe is like … you were there??

I mean. this is cute and all, but doesn’t it kinda take away from later events, if Sander goes back to Britt, then like … knowing Sander has been Pining All Along should create way less doubt in Robbe’s mind? When Even went back to Sonja, there was room for actual doubt in Isak’s mind (and the audience’s) about the sincerity of Even’s feelings. I think people forgot that the “I saw you the first day of school” moment at the end of the season was a surprise. I was in the fandom and I don’t think a lot of people thought Even had fallen for Isak that early. So Robbe now knows that Sander fell for him well before they even talked, doesn’t that remove some of the tension about Sander’s motives? I suppose it depends on how the story goes from here, but if it’s similar to OG, then I think it slightly lessens the ambiguity and tension.

Also, another reason why it would have been good to actually see the graffiti scene play out in episode 1… and to see what Robbe tagged on the wall … come on. COME ONNNN. Let’s see what got Sander’s attention! Did Robbe create something funny or clever or insightful? Wouldn’t that have been a great detail to show their connection? This is basic storytelling, hello? 

I guess if I’m being fair, we don’t know exactly what Even saw in Isak that first day of school, either. But then again, we didn’t see the first day of school in a clip, while we definitely saw the graffiti scene. Just a missed opportunity, IMO.

They kiss and Sander gets a text from Britt. According to Sander, he told Britt about him and Robbe, but she doesn’t believe him, which is what I assumed of Sonja too, btw. At least, that’s what I thought at Emma’s party where she initiated the kiss with Even. Sander says Britt is so controlling. Robbe seems uncertain.

Sander says there’s probably another universe where Sander is still with Britt, but he’s glad to be in this universe. I do like this part.

Clip 11 - Milan schools Robbe on Pride

Robbe’s alarm goes off in the morning. He smiles a bit, though, presumably because he’s got Sander in his life. He gets a good morning text from Sander, which is cute and makes him smile more. Goes into the bathroom and Milan is there. Sander texts Robbe that he’s been thinking about him in all universes, Robbe is happy.

Milan is like, when can I meet your boyfriend??? Robbe says soon. Awww, this interaction is pretty sweet. Milan is like, welcome to the club! You know, “our” club meaning dudes who like dudes.

Robbe is like, just because I’m with Sander doesn’t mean I belong to some club, I’m not like you. Milan is like … and how am I? Robbe gives the usual Isak-ish response of dressing up and talking about BJs, Milan gets upset. Robbe says there’s nothing wrong with being gay but when people think of being gay, they think of that and it’s not fair to those who aren’t like that. Robbe’s not going to put on leather pants and dance at pride just because he likes Sander!

Milan gets very upset and goes into the Pride speech. I always appreciate this scene and I’m grateful that it’s one thing the remakes don’t really fuck with, since it’s so important (I think the remakes all recognize that it’s amazing, heh). 

Senne wanting to use the bathroom is kind of a jarring thing, they should’ve just let the moment sink in.

Robbe takes a Good Hard Look at himself in the mirror which is on the nose but like, better than nothing. I think there was a mirror earlier in the season? I confess that I’m so hung up on the basic writing fumbles that I might be missing stuff that’s actually supposed to be symbolic.

Anyway, all things considered, I think they did fine with this clip. Robbe coming out to Milan earlier in the episode did help pave the way for this talk since they didn’t have the close relationship as Isak and Eskild. Like, any issues I might have with it are related to the bigger issues in the season, but on its own, I felt like it was decent, and the “welcome to the club” comment is something I can believe Milan would say and something that would make Robbe reply with a boneheaded comment.

Clip 12 - This fucking scene

Robbe and Sander flirt in a bar and get touchy-feely with each other. For some baffling choice, we start with some rap/hip-hop song and then it cuts to “Two Men In Love” by The Irrepressibles … like … you could just start the clip with that song instead of this weird non-transition?

They kiss and then move outside the bar and then kiss and cuddle some more (again … I ask, where did Robbe’s boldness with gay PDA come from ...) Robbe jumps on Sander for a piggyback ride. They kiss passionately in the street.

Ahahahahahahahahah HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAA FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Some homophobes spot them and call them slurs. Robbe and Sander try to grab their bikes and quickly leave. The bigots manage to grab them and beat the shit out of them. It’s really brutal, like we get POV shots from the ground as the guys kick them. The guys call them f****ts once more before leaving Robbe and Sander crumpled on the ground in the fetal position. The wheels on the bike go round and round.

I mean … where do you even start.

OK, I’ll start here: worst decision made in a Skam S3 remake yet.

“Yeah, Skam season 3 was a masterpiece and all, but you know what I could have used more of? Violent gay-bashing,” said no one ever.

I don’t get triggered by media, not really, but boy am I glad I was spoiled for this. Because I do get fucking angry at media. And I’m angry now, but if I was watching this unspoiled? Man, I would’ve popped a couple of blood vessels. And I feel so, so sorry for people who watched this unprepared and were triggered. Because yeah, it is a remake and not 100% like the original, you can’t predict everything that will happen. But this isn’t something that you expect in S3, because you expect the writers to know enough to leave this shit out. This isn’t made with kind intentions for the audience, it’s made for shock value.

Consider that the WHOLE POINT of this very, very short clip is the hate crime, btw. It’s like two minutes long! They dropped a clip just for a cute kissing montage and then to interrupt it with a brutal beating! Something about that makes it even more repugnant than if it were like … a long involved scene about something else, and this happened. IDK, something about it feels even more tasteless, like this beating is their cinematic setpiece.

The first-person POV of the beating = not necessary. Like of ALL the fucking times in your season to actually give a shit about the importance of POV, lmao. This isn’t a video game. I’m not shooting zombies or getting jumped by bandits.

Remember when Skam faded to black on Noora’s blackout? And cut away from Even walking naked out of the hotel? Yeah, there are plot and POV reasons for those, but they were also ways to respect the audience and not include pointlessly triggering, exploitative material. 

There’s just so much to say about this bad choice that I’m at a loss. Why did we need to go here? In particular, why did we need to go here knowing how the rest of the season plays out? Because for me, that’s what clinches this as a terrible decision. This isn’t a shitty scene with a satisfying follow-up. The resolution - or non-resolution, as it turns out - of this plot development is what exposes wtFOCK’s true character.

There is an AMAZING Evak vid set to Two Men In Love and I recommend you watch it to get the bad taste out of your mouth from this scene.

HOW I WOULD REWRITE THIS EPISODE:

Sigh.

This is just textbook bad writing for coming out stories, not to mention packed full of tired cliches.

Closeted gay guy is violently homophobic (Robbe calls his love interest homophobic slurs and accuses him of being a pervert) - I’m sorry but I am so tired of the “dating your bully” trope and this is what it fell into for me. Why should Sander take back Robbe after that? After Sander told Robbe he was afraid no one would ever love him? 

Gay-bashing For The Drama, to make sure you know homophobia is bad, really bad.

Overemphasis on the heterosexual love interest (“love interest”) and how it’s hurtful to her, like I get that it’s a delicate topic with not demonizing her, but I always feel like there is SO much interest on straight characters in these stories! It’s not about them!

The hate crime has to go. Really. What is even the POINT of it in this particular story? As if there wasn’t enough angst in S3? Especially if you consider: they wasted a few episodes on repetitive nonsense. Their pacing is fucked up. And now you have to insert this monumentally offensive storyline and its fallout into a season already full of problems? Next.

Okay, I will offer ONE way to incorporate the hate crime, and that is simple: Make the rest of the season about the fallout. Similar to Noora’s season with her assault, dive deep into the trauma, spend a few episodes with Robbe and Sander recovering, telling their friends about it, going to the police about it. Cut back on other drama from S3. Don’t fuck around with Sander going back to Britt, unless you tie it in directly to him being afraid to date a guy after the hate crime. Don’t fuck around with Noor outing Robbe considering he has enough shit on his plate. If you want to bring her back, make her support him through the trauma. Honestly? Don’t fuck around with the hotel incident. Like I truly hate to lose Sander’s mental illness as a vital part of the season, but adding a full-blown manic episode on top of gay-bashing is way too much misery porn. I think you could probably show how the hate crime and resulting trauma affect Sander’s mental state without pushing it into full-blown wandering the streets naked while manic. 

Do I particularly like this plot? I mean, no, not compared to the original, and I feel like this is better off as its own thing rather than a S3 adaptation. But at the very least, I can see the attempt to take the hate crime seriously. You cannot just throw in this type of scenario to shake things up and leave it at that. This show is specifically made for teenagers, to take their struggles seriously and to give them positive examples of how to handle problems. If you prioritize the violent act itself because it’s dramatic and shocking, rather than the recovery (because that’s like, boring and uninteresting, amirite), then you’ve shown your ass. You don’t understand the purpose or the appeal of Skam in the first place.

Jumping ahead, I think this is exactly where wtFOCK exposes its true intentions. wtFOCK does not care about helping vulnerable teenagers find solutions to tough problems. wtFOCK does not care about healing or educating. wtFOCK is about shaking the audience so hard that viewers get whiplash. If wtFOCK gave a shit about helping the audience, the rest of the season would focus on Robbe and Sander dealing with the assault, giving them options to report it, showing them ways to cope with the trauma. Things that might help audience members who unfortunately also found themselves victims of hate crimes or homophobic violence. Those are not present in the rest of the season. It’s just a fucking soap opera. 

If you MUST have a homophobic incident to go with your dark ‘n’ edgy season, you can still limit it to some assholes yelling homophobic slurs without resorting to violence. That’s bad enough, and it did happen to Isak and Even later in the series. Even if you decide you MUST have a violent angle to this incident for whatever reason, I don’t fucking know why but OK, you don’t need to film it in this super exploitative manner where our heroes are getting viciously beaten on the ground. But there are so many ways to incorporate external homophobia without this shit.

Wouldn’t this dreadful scene make more sense at least if it had happened after the pool kiss? Like they go out a few days later, the hate crime happens, and then THAT’s why Robbe pushes away Sander and calls him names? Because now he’s afraid and he’s internalized what the bigots said? It’s tragic and gross, but at least there’s some character-driven logic in that sequence of events.

Another thing that really doesn’t work is that they’re straying so far from the original script, but at the same time they keep jamming in scenes from the original, except there isn’t the same buildup. Or any buildup, sometimes. This results in an incoherent mess of a season and of a POV character, where Robbe is part-Robbe, part-Isak.

I think all the remakes do this to a degree: there are certain beats they feel they must hit, and they hit them even though they’re off course. You need to commit either to doing a mostly faithful adaptation of the original, or to doing a remake with your own spin on the characters, but you need to be very, very careful not to just haplessly mix ‘n’ match the two. Does a scene from OG make sense within this remake universe? No? Then drop it, rewrite it, do what you need to do, just don’t carelessly recreate it if it doesn’t fit.

The way they’re writing Jens is bizarre because he seems to care enough about Robbe to ask him how he’s doing, but also not care enough to stick around and listen once the next shiny thing comes along. From the beginning they’ve set up the friendship tension with the boy squad as not just Robbe’s fault, but as a failure of his friends to pay attention as well. Like in the first episode Robbe is trying to talk to them and they just ditch him! They really need to make Jens more aware of how he himself has messed up with his friend, and not act like this is all Robbe’s doing.

We don’t need another Noor blue balls scene, thank you, bye. But if we keep this one, then we absolutely needed to see what exactly made Robbe stop in the act of sex with her, such as him flashing back to his kiss with Sander. Or even just letting us see him make the decision, because goddamn, what’s with wtFOCK not letting this young actor actually act out some of the meatiest material?

Overall, give Robbe more baby steps in his personal development, and not unbelievable leaps and changes in his behavior because the plot demands them.

I did try to think of a way to incorporate much of the same material from this week, including a hate crime, in a way that made more sense and was not ridiculously OTT or offensive. It’s hard because I really think you need to go back to the beginning of the season, but here’s what I came up with, borrowing some elements from the last episode as well.

Robbe wakes up the night after kissing Sander. He’s happy and glowing, he sees a cute text from Sander and smiles. Then he goes to the kitchen and Milan is there with a black eye or something, he’s talking to Zoë and Senne, maybe they’re tending to his injuries. Robbe asks what happened. Milan had a date last night and some homophobes started giving them a hard time, Milan wasn’t having it, punches were thrown. Milan is very shaken and upset. So is Robbe, who panics. Is this what he has to look forward to if he’s dating a gay? Will people harass him just for being out with his boyfriend? The implications of what it means to be a gay person in this world hit him really hard. He looks at Sander’s text again and ignores him and possibly blocks him. At some point we will establish that Robbe is also ignoring texts/calls from everyone else, too: Noor, Jens, his mom...

Sander shows up the next day outside Robbe’s place after Robbe has been ignoring him. He tries to talk to Robbe, but Robbe is freaked out and visibly nervous, his eyes darting around - he’s paranoid now about being seen with Sander, due to Milan’s incident. He’s worried about being a target for homophobic violence, understandably so. Sander doesn’t realize that Robbe’s frightened, however, and keeps talking and being nice. Robbe tries to play off the other night as just him being drunk, it was a mistake. When Sander physically gets too close to Robbe, Robbe yells that he’s not gay and runs inside, leaving Sander alone.

Robbe encounters Milan at home alone. Milan is still bruised from the homophobic incident. Milan is unusually subdued. Robbe says he’s sorry for what happened to Milan, it’s terrible. Robbe then sticks his foot in his mouth by saying something well-intentioned but hurtful and ignorant about how maybe Milan shouldn’t be so gay in public or w/e, since that will just attract homophobes, and that not all gay people act like Milan (meaning flamboyant, etc.) Milan gets really, really upset and snaps at Robbe about how gay people have been beaten and killed for just being who they are - basically a version of the Pride speech with a somewhat different context - and that it takes bravery and strength, Robbe doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about. So that ends on a bad note for them.

Now trying to get out of the house since he’s fought with Milan, Robbe meets up with Jens, or maybe Jens finds him at the park or whatever. Jens comments on how it’s been a while since they’ve talked. Robbe says he was just worried about what the guys would say since he blew up at them previously. Jens is like, dude, we’re your friends. You have to talk to the people who care about you, you can’t just ghost them and avoid facing your problems. Robbe takes this advice to heart. Jens tells Robbe that he’s ready to listen when Robbe wants to talk.  Maybe Robbe sees something that reminds him of Sander, like graffiti on a building, and despite his fears, we can see that he really misses Sander, and that his feelings for Sander are stronger than his fears.

Next he meets up with Noor. She’s really upset that he’s been ignoring her. He apologizes and a version of the breakup scene goes down. When Robbe leaves, we see him walk away with a conflicted expression. Sorry that he’s hurt Noor, but understanding that this was the right call, and relief that he doesn’t have to pretend any more. 

Robbe sees Milan again and apologizes for what he said last time. Milan accepts his apology. Robbe admits that he’s been confused lately because he likes a guy and he doesn’t know what that makes him. Milan says something like that’s great Robbe likes a guy and that Robbe doesn’t need to label himself right now, he should just follow his heart. Maybe that liking boys is scary (Milan points to his black eye) and sometimes you need to be careful, but at the end of the day, Milan has to be himself and live his life honestly, and so does Robbe. After Milan leaves, Robbe takes out his phone and texts Sander saying he wants to talk.

Sander meets Robbe somewhere and Robbe apologizes for ignoring him, says he freaked out because that was the first time he kissed a guy, but now he’s made up his mind that he wants to be with Sander. They kiss and make up, yayyyyy.

This is by no means a perfect solution (like the thought of then going into the shit with Britt next episode on top of this makes my head hurt), this is just an attempt to include stuff like homophobic violence, Robbe’s ghosting Sander, scenes with Jens and Noor, etc. in a way that makes a little more linear sense to me and doesn’t feel as haphazard, and isn’t super triggering or exploitative. I think if you have a hate crime happening to Robbe himself, that really needs to be the main focus from here on out, for at least a few episodes; if you have something off-screen happening to another character, you can address the topic of violent homophobia without having it dominate the season or featuring triggering scenes. And hopefully it would still have some emotional impact, because we see how it affects Milan, and some clear consequences for character development, because we see how it affects Robbe, as the situation he may find himself in one day.

If I missed anything, cultural notes, translation nuances, let me know!

[reyesstrand]

froze by desire

i’ve had some requests for a sequel to this prompt fill, and i couldn’t resist so here we are! thank you to everyone that’s shown some interest in seeing a continuation to this story. also available on ao3! 

There’s a clap of thunder, and TK startles awake.

Images of his dream-turned-nightmare flash before his eyes, as he tries to burrow back under his covers and forget. He thinks of Carlos, in some undisclosed location, and how his subconscious keeps betraying him by making up the worst scenarios and attacking him whenever he’s asleep. He dreams of Carlos getting injured, Carlos getting ambushed, Carlos getting shot — and the worst part of it all is that TK gets extremely limited contact with him, and has no real idea about what his undercover operation entails.

TK groans into his pillow and flips to his other side, before ending up flat on his back. He tries to stay quiet, because the others are fast asleep in the bunks on either side of him, as he reaches over and grabs his phone. TK feels a little bit of comfort at the sight of his phone background — a brilliantly happy Carlos, eyes closed and laughing as Buttercup tries to lick his cheek — but his heart still falls when he finds no new messages from his boyfriend. He knows he shouldn’t expect anything, but it’s been exactly six months and a week today. He misses Carlos, and he’s trying to stay positive, but it’s still rough.

Thankfully, sleep takes over once more, and a few hours later the whole team is roughly woken up by the sirens going off. Buttercup trods behind them as they rush out of the sleeping quarters, though he eventually winds up curling up on the floor near one of the couches as they disperse to pull on their gear. Middle-of-the-night fires always bring out some tension amongst the crew, as it’s impossible to know exactly what they’re getting into, how many people they might have to evacuate — the list goes on, and Owen preps them for the possibility of rescue and medical assistance until EMS meets them at the scene.

They end up at a house fire, nothing they haven’t all experienced a hundred times, and TK and Marjan hang back to check vitals and tend to minor injuries while Judd and Paul are sent into the house after clearing it for structural stability. TK’s eyes drift to the police cruiser on scene — the same one Carlos would typically use, now occupied with his partner and her new rookie — and it sends a pang of longing through his core. Afterwards, once the flames have been distinguished and police have taken over, and once Michelle and her team gets the family properly checked over, Owen signals for them to head out as the sun lifts over the horizon.

TK just feels like he sort of floats through his days, now, and he tries not to let his worry get the best of him. But as Paul starts making his famous breakfast hash when they get back to the station, TK slips away toward the gym, where he blasts music in his ears and tries to work out his stress. He can’t hide for long, though; soon enough, Judd’s strolling in and gesturing for him to take his ear buds out.

“Judd, I’m really not in the mood, man,” TK says, a little winded as he drops down from the pull-up bar. He stares at the water bottle that the older man is holding out for him to take, until he eventually huffs a little and accepts it, taking a long swig. As he drinks, he lifts his brows at Judd.

“You need to come eat,” Judd lifts a hand when TK immediately opens his mouth to protest. “You’ve gotta take care of yourself, little bro.”

As he says the words, his muscles burn with over exertion. TK bites on the inside of his cheek. “I’m fine.”

It sounds strained and obviously false, even to his own ears. TK stares hard at the ground and Judd steps closer, clapping a hand down on his shoulder, still careful with how much pressure he uses as the gunshot scar still reminds them all of what happened almost a year ago.

“Listen, I know I don’t know the whole story, none of us do,” Judd says, reminding TK all at once that besides his dad, they hadn’t told the team really anything about Carlos’ departure — just that he’d be gone for a while for work. TK trusts them all like they’re family because they are, in more ways than one, but it’s not his place to disclose that information, and it tears him up a little everyday because letting more people in on the truth might alleviate some of the constant stress he feels twisting up in his stomach. “But we hate seeing you like this. So you’re coming down and eating breakfast even if I gotta drag you.”

TK smiles a little at Judd’s stubbornness. “Alright, I’m coming. And thank you, by the way.”

“We’re brothers, right?” Judd says, as if it’s an explanation in and of itself, and he tosses him a towel before they both head downstairs. As he comes into the dining room, he offers a quiet apology to the rest of the crew, and they all make a point of cornering him and hugging him until he can barely breathe.

* * * 

They’re running drills when it happens.

It’s been another few days and Carlos has finally sent him an update, claiming that there was a light at the end of the tunnel — there had been weeks where it felt like his operation would never end, and now TK doesn’t know what to do with himself now knowing that his boyfriend will be home in a matter of hours.

He’s trying to stay occupied; he has days where he’s a little more jittery than usual, itching for something to do, and his anxiety in waiting to see Carlos again only has him constantly keeping himself busy. TK follows Mateo’s instructions to help him with his own method of deep-cleaning the rig, and he works out with Marjan, and now his dad’s got them running training drills with the hoses when a car honks from where it pulls up in front of the station. And TK knows that Camaro.

“What are you waiting for, lover boy?” Marjan asks, cocking a brow at him as she offers him a warm smile. TK proceeds to very elegantly drop the coiled hose from his shoulder so it lands with a thump on the ground, and starts moving toward the car and past his teammates as Carlos, in the flesh, starts walking toward him.

TK doesn't care about the state he's in — he just runs until he knocks into Carlos, already deciding in his mind to never let him go.

He doesn’t care about the eyes on them and the fact that he’s still in his gear. TK slings his right arm around Carlos’ neck and feels every weight that’s been holding him down for the past six and a half months float away as Carlos secures his own arms around him.

“Holy shit,” TK murmurs, and he ends up repeating himself as he speaks into Carlos’ neck. Then he pulls back, and looks his boyfriend in his eyes. “Wait, what are you doing here? I thought we were meeting up at your place later.”

“I couldn't wait. I had to come see you,” Carlos admits, and TK rapidly looks over his face and sees more tiredness evident in his eyes, but otherwise he looks safe and unharmed. “I handed over my files and I was granted a week off and now I’m here.”

TK grins, not even questioning how open he is with his emotions around Carlos and how terrified that would make him a year ago, and surges forward to kiss his boyfriend. He feels a hand gently caress the back of his head and TK presses closer, trying to make up for so much time in one kiss.

He does remember that his dad isn’t too far behind him, though. So is his whole family. Carlos seems to be aware of that too because he pulls back first, though he knocks their foreheads together and takes a deep breath.

“Hi,” Carlos says, now that the initial shock has worn off, voice quiet and adorable and TK’s heart lurches.

“Hi,” is all that TK can manage to say back, finding himself completely fucking smitten. “I missed you.”

His voice cracks and Carlos pulls him back in for a hug, both of them holding each other as tight as they can. Carlos murmurs I missed you, too into his ear, voice sounding thick with emotion.

“Are you okay?” TK asks, a little unnerved now that he’s letting himself overthink all that Carlos has gone through.

“Perfectly fine,” Carlos ensures him, words mumbled right into his skin. “I mean, it was all shitty in general. But I’m good, I swear.”

TK pulls out of the hug just enough to look at the other man incredulously. Carlos smiles that brilliant smile of his and some of TK’s worry ebbs. A little.

“I’m serious, Ty, I’m okay,” Carlos whispers. “I told you I’d be coming back to you, didn’t I?”  

“Yeah, yeah, you big softie,” TK smiles a little as he speaks, and he finally feels ready to step back so the rest of the team can say hi — but he keeps an arm curled around his boyfriend’s waist. Before they reach the others, TK meets Carlos' eyes again and nudges his shoulder against the other man’s. “I love you, you know.”

Carlos' eyes soften even more, if that's possible. "I love you, too."

"I should also prepare you for the shit they're about to give us but," TK pauses, pressing himself closer against his boyfriend's side. "But I feel like nothing could faze me right now."

"I was thinking the same thing," Carlos says, nodding toward where Michelle is now chatting with Owen, watching the two of them approach with a devilish smile counterbalanced with a fond gaze. "We've got each other though."

TK smiles at the words, reaching down to take Carlos' hand and thread their fingers together. As they suddenly become surrounded by their friends, it feels like an anchor that keeps him grounded — one that he doesn't ever want to let go of.

[annamaximoff24]

Traitor

Wanda x Reader: mild angst, fluff

WC: 1.3k

Description: After getting your heart broken you return to the tower and sing your feelings out, leaving the team, especially Wanda, in awe. 

You sat on the glossy black bench placed in front of the grand piano in the main room of the tower. You and the others had just finished a long mission, and it hurt you far more than it hurt the rest of the team. You had found out that the guy you had been with for nearly six months had been lying to you the whole time. 

The mission was to shut down a Hydra base and rescue civilians who were being held captive. Not long into the attack you found yourself face-to-face with him. When you first met you were relieved to date someone who wasn’t a part of your world. You didn’t like to mix Avenging with your love life, and he was perfect. The others could only imagine the pain of finding out your love had been using you and working against you and all of your friends for months. 

You had stood out in the field, everyone fighting around you, but all you could focus on was his face, and the barrel of his gun pointed at your chest. “I’m sorry it had to be like this, but my loyalty to Hydra overrules my love for you.” You were blinded by rage and the angry tears that slid down your face. 

Before he could react, you brought your elbow up, slamming it into his nose and relishing the crunch as it broke. He had stumbled back, clutching his nose, his hands and face covered in blood.

“You son of a bitch,” you spat at him before pulling out your own gun. You lowered it to his thigh and watched him collapse as you pulled the trigger. Not wanting to waste any more time, you left him bleeding in the dirt as you ran to help the other Avengers. When they asked where you had been you made up an excuse, and they didn’t question you when you decided not to go out and celebrate with them after returning home. 

For the first time in longer than you could remember, you had the whole tower to yourself. At first it was strange, being in total silence, but you couldn’t stay that way for long. You had noticed the beautiful grand piano the first time you visited the tower as a trainee. You wondered why Tony had bought it, seeing as none of the others were musically gifted--that you knew of at least. You never played it though, too afraid of being heard or judged by everyone else. 

Tonight was different though. Singing had always been an escape for you. It helped you forget your anger, your anxiety, your loss. You decided now would be the time to spill your soul out across the keys. 

You ran your fingers over them gently before finding the first note. You had been playing so long you didn’t even have to think about it as the first few chords echoed through the room. “Brown guilty eyes and little white lies, yeah I played dumb but I always knew.” Your voice rang out clearly and crisply as you worked your way through the first verse. 

By the time you got to the chorus you were so entrapped in the music you didn’t hear everyone else come back.

*****

“What’s that sound?” Steve asked the other Avengers as they all stood in the elevator on their way up to the main floor. 

“Clearly Y/N had a rough night, she’s probably just blasting some music,” Nat offered. 

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Steve responded.

They walked out, Wanda going ahead of them. “Why don’t the rest of you guys wait here, she might need someone to talk to for a minute,” she said. She was closer to you than anyone else on the team, except maybe Thor, but he was away. 

As she turned the corner she nearly gasped as she saw you sitting at the piano. “You betrayed me, and I know that you’ll never feel sorry for the way I hurt.” You continued on, still oblivious to her presence. 

Wanda raced back. “It’s her,” was all she said. 

“What, is something wrong?” Tony asked, concern in his tone.

“She’s fine. She’s...she’s singing.” Wanda barely kept the amazement from her voice.

“Y/N doesn’t sing,” Steve stated bluntly. “We would have heard her, living together all this time.” 

“Go out there and see for yourself. Oh, and be quiet, I don’t think she knows we’re back yet.”

Steve, Tony, Nat, Wanda, Clint, and Bruce all filed in, careful not to make too much noise. 

“God I wish that you had thought this through before I went and fell in love with you.” You were almost screaming now, belting powerfully as tears streamed down your face. You banged into the keys, feeling the reverberations travel up your arms and right to your chest. 

“Holy shit,” Tony whispered in disbelief. 

“I wonder who hurt her,” Nat said.

You slowed your playing as you neared the end of the song. It was hard to keep back the sobs that threatened to leave your throat. 

“Wow,” you nearly jumped off the bench. “I had no idea you had pipes like that, kid.” You turned around, embarrassed to find Tony, and all of the other Avengers, huddled by the couch. Clearly they had been listening, but you had no idea how long. 

“I-” you started, knowing you wouldn’t be able to stop your tears. “I should go.” Before anyone could protest, you ran away to cry alone in your room. 

“Y/N wait. Come back!” Wanda raced down the hall after you

You burst into your room, and tried to slam the door shut behind you, but Wanda was already there. You made your way to your bed, but you sank to the floor instead and leaned your head back against the side of the mattress. Wanda dropped to her knees before sidling up next to you. 

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” Her tone was sweet but cautious. “And don’t waste your breath telling me it’s nothing and you’re fine, because you’re not,” she insisted, beating you to the excuse you had already formed. 

You wait for a moment, still considering whether or not you should tell her. “It was him,” was all you said, your head was tilted down, resting in your palms. Your knees were curled up to your chest.  

“What was who? What happened out there?” Wanda placed a hand on your shoulder. 

“I went off alone,” you lifted your head, “and he pulled a gun on me. He’s been working for Hydra. We did everything together. I shared my secrets with him. I shared my bed with him. All this time he’s been playing me like some naive little girl.” You choked over your words as a sob wracked your body. 

“Oh Y/N, I’m so sorry honey,” Wanda said, understanding now. “What did he say?” 

“Just that his loyalty to Hydra is stronger than his loyalty to me.”

“What did you say?”

“I broke his nose and shot him in the leg before joining up with the rest of you again.” You said, smiling slightly at the memory of him crying out in pain.   

“Good girl.” Wanda flashed you an approving look before pulling you into a tight hug. You rested your head on her chest and felt her kiss the top of your head softly. “Do you want some advice?” You nodded. “Men are never worth the trouble,” she whispered. “They lie and cheat and they break your heart. There’s a reason I haven’t had a boyfriend in a long time.” 

“Yeah, but I loved him. I really did.” You cried harder. 

“I know honey,” she soothed, rubbing your back. “Just cry it all out. It will stop hurting eventually.” 

“Wanda?” 

“Yes?” 

You stared at the wall, still leaned up against her. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Y/N.”

[kyukun]

A Way to Break the Ice (OumaSai)

YES OMG 1000X YES I FUCKING LOVE THIS SO MUCH IM CRYIBG I HOPE YOU ENJOY ANON THANK YOU ILYSM

title: A Way to Break the Ice

summary: First dates are typically fun, that is unless you make it awkward. So what better way to be all over your date without being weird than ice skating?

word count:  1211

~~ prompt starts after cut! ~~

"Come on, Saihara-chan! It isn't going to be that hard!" Kokichi grumbled, tugging him by his sleeve. The latter was somewhat in a conflict with himself. A part of him wanted to join Kokichi in his antics for the better of their date, while the other half wanted to save himself the embarrassment. The pair had been walking around town after dinner for their first date when Kokichi had spotted a local outdoor ice skating rink.

 It was winter after all, he expected to see as much. But he had never gone ice skating before, and frankly, he was more than nervous to start on his first date. 

 Shuichi flickered his eyes to the side, contemplating heavily whether or not he'd go through with it. "I-I don't know Kokichi. What if we get hurt? Plus, I don't know how."

 "That's what I'm here for, silly! Come on! Don't be such a stick in the mud, Saihara-chan." His eyes pleaded with Shuichi, Kokichi tippy toeing with his hand now placed fully on his arm. Shuichi lifted his head as high as he could to avoid any eye contact. But a quick glance downward made him lose all sense of willpower. 

 Their eyes locked and he knew immediately he had caved. He groaned, tilting his head back in immediate regret. "Fine!" 

 Kokichi grinned wickedly, his cold hand wrapping around Shuichi's sweater as he dragged him over to the rink. "I knew you'd cave."

 The rink was filled with a variety of people. From old to young, tall to small, couples to families, there was a lot of people there. A few of them looked so graceful on the ice, skating like it was instinct. It was definitely a sight to see.

 Maybe this wasn't half as bad as he had initially pictured it to be.

 Saihara smiled as he noticed a family holding their child's hand, skating slowly over to the walls with grins on their faces. 

 Shuichi looked up slightly as Kokichi dragged him over to the registration. Above the rink were fairy lights, both blue and gold, which were strung up by the surrounding street lights. Speakers were also aligned near the lights themselves, blasting Christmas classics. 

 They had finally reached the registration. They paid their fee and grabbed skates in their sizes. A bench had been near the registration, allowing for both of them to put on their skates. 

 He could feel anxiety begin to pool at the bottom of his stomach the minute he had begun lacing up the skates. It was just ice skating. How bad could it be? Besides, he's here with Kokichi. He should allow himself to let loose a bit.

 "You ready?" Kokichi grinned proudly, his hands balled up at his sides. Shuichi gulped before nodding, taking Kokichi by his hand and following his lead into the rink. Kokichi started slowly, inching his way onto the ice and allowing Saihara more room to follow along.

 "Let's start near the wall first, yeah?"

 "Yeah." 

 "Okay." Kokichi tugged Shuichi by his hand, making him jolt forward and face first onto the ice. The ice was cold against his face, and it was not smooth either, it was rather rough. He knew this wasn't Kokichi's fault, so he didn't mind. He just didn't expect the ice to be that slippery.

 "Holy shit!" Kokichi laughed, helping Shuichi up with his hand. "Are you okay?" He continued laughing as Shuichi attempted to steady himself against the wall. Shuichi laughed along with him, "I'm fine."

 "I shouldn't have tugged you that hard, my bad. I didn't expect you to faceplant straight away."

 "How are you still standing?"

 "This isn't my first time 'round these parts. Just… shift your weight to your heels and you'll be fine."

 Kokichi took him by the hand, feeling his face heat up as he intertwined their fingers. "I'll skate with you so you don't fall." Shuichi stared down at Kokichi, feeling his heart warm despite the cold air surrounding him. Kokichi was really cute under all of this lighting now that he thought about it.

 And in the midst of his staring session, a bit of snow had begun falling down gently. The small snowflakes laid down gently on Kokichi's messy hair, some dissolving and others remained untouched. He gazed up at the snow, using his free hand to catch a few snowflakes. 

 Shuichi thought he looked really pretty. 

 He found himself blushing at the smaller male, feeling his heart pick up speed when Kokichi innocently glanced back at him. "Pretty." He spoke softly. Kokichi tilted his head, before smiling. He used Shuichi's arm to steady himself as he tiptoed to wipe away the excess snow that had fallen on his hair. "The snow? Yeah, it is."

 "I wasn't talking about the snow. I was talking about you." 

 Kokichi slowly retracted his hand, now blushing back a bit in return. He wasn't expecting that answer. Kokichi turned to the side swiftly, his back now facing Shuichi. Shuichi couldn't see it, but he had his face buried deep in his scarf, face redder than an ornament. 

 He stuck out his hand one more time, "Let's just skate, alright?"

 Shuichi stared at his hand, and then back at him. He grinned and took it, intertwining their fingers as he skated a bit forward. 

 The rest of the date went smoothly. Shuichi was thankful he was a quick learner. He was a bit wobbly at first, but that later turned into him becoming more and more stable. They left the rink eventually once everyone else had left. 

 The two laughed together, stumbling down the street leading to Kokichi's apartment. 

 "I still can't believe you accidentally pulled down that lady's scarf! Shumai, you're so clumsy!"

 "What do you mean me? You're the one who made that kid cry when you bumped into him!" 

 "That kid should've known better! That wasn't my fault in the slightest!" Kokichi said in between fits of laughter, wiping excess tears from his eyes as he stood on the steps of his front door. Shuichi's laughter eventually died down as well, wiping his own tears with the back of his finger. "Right, right."

 The two stood in a comfortable silence, grinning from ear to ear as Kokichi stood a step above Shuichi. "I had a lot of fun."

 "I did too. I didn't expect you to be so good at ice skating. Why didn't you tell me?" Shuichi smirked, playfully hitting Kokichi in the shoulder with his fist. "Because that's top secret information, Mister. And you better not tell anyone, got that?" Kokichi leaned forward, tugging him closer by his collar. "Heard loud and clear."

 Shuichi's expression softened when he noticed how close Kokichi was. He took a final step forward, practically pining Kokichi by his door. He towered over Kokichi, his hand firmly placed on the red door. He leaned forward, feeling Kokichi do the same as hands wrapped around his neck. 

 They shared a quick yet simple kiss. 

 Both smiling as they released on another from their grasp. Shuichi stepped down the stairs reluctantly, waving goodbye to Kokichi who had a lovestruck daze over his eyes. "I'll call you."

 First dates weren't always awkward he guessed. Sometimes trying new things was a good thing. 

[snarkandsarcasmftw]

2020

Uh oh, it’s time for the cranky smol one to get sappy af. Prepare yourselves. Because yeah, I’m gonna get sappy.

This past year has been… To put it bluntly, it was one hell of a ride. I moved from state to state after spending the past two years taking care of my mother, I lost important people in my life (some through my own stupidity, others simply because they showed their true colors) and I lost a pet that for 13 years roughly, was a huge part of my life. I rescued a cat. I feel like this past year taught me a lot but the most important thing that it taught me was to be thankful for who/what I have in my life, because I might not always have these things/people.

Since there’s a loooot, holy shit so much.. I’ll put a read more.

REGRETS:

First of all, to the one person I’m no longer speaking to/following on here. I just know that you were a blessing in my life while you were around. I know we couldn’t ever really be close friends like we were before everything played out, but I truly hope the best things in life happen to you. You’re a good person, always know that. I hope you’re happier now and I hope that you eventually find and embrace your own inner truth without anxiety or fear. 

Secondly, there were a few people who I misjudged/let go of this past year that maybe I wish I hadn’t. If any of you are reading this, I’m so so so so sorry. I don’t know what made me do it, but I know that I just… Felt like I wasn’t as good as any of you and like I never really fit in, so rather than make you all keep dealing with me, I did what I thought was best and cut the cord. I really wish I hadn’t and I know it’s probably way too late, but I really am sorry. You were great people and I really do miss our talks and stuff. I just felt like I was in the way, so I took myself out. Anxiety is a real bitch and while that’s not an excuse for me just going silent / blocking you guys, it’s the simplest truth. I was in a bad place for a while there and in my own head too much. I’m better now, but I’m fairly sure that it’s too little & too late. So, once again, I’m so so so sorry. 

NEW FRIENDS:

Oh god, where to start? I made so many new friends this year on this blue hell-site. So many. And I’m thankful for every single one of you even if I somehow miss your name. On that note,I’m sorry in advance if I do and I mean nothing by it. Also, these are in absolutely no certain order. If I tried to go alphabetically, I’d probably wind up messing it up.

@xladyxfatex I am so, so, so, so glad you sent me that meme and we started to talk. It has been so much fun rp’ing again, and I’m really enjoying getting to know you better. I love our rp and you’re such a sweet person. I can’t wait to see where this year takes us.

@writtingrose you are an amazing writer and you’re a down to earth and sweet person. I was moved by your Beautiful To Me series (it’s plus size reader, you guys MUST go read it.) and I’m so glad I reached out. I can’t wait to start our rp, if you’re still down for it. I love reading your writing and I can’t wait to get to know you better.

@komaniac I absolutely love your love for Kevin. I really don’t get to talk to you often, but I’ll see your Kevin posts and I’m like sitting on my side of the computer screen silently nodding. Your Kevin content is always making me smile. I love you for that, never change.

@rampagewriting… I can’t remember which of us reached out first, but girl. I am so so glad we’re friends. You’re an amazing and strong person and I love all your fics. I love opening our DM and yelling about things with you, whether it’s Zak Bagans ( we deffo need to go ghost hunting one day, tbh) or any of our other favorites. I’m so glad we’re friends and I hope that we get to be even better friends during 2020.

@the-ville-idiot Wren, I love you. Seriously, I love you. You’re always so bubbly and happy and like… I legit enjoy our random conversations. We have a lot in common.

@doedreamss Ashley, I mean Doe. You’re such a sweetheart and I wish I had half the life experiences you have. I love you. I enjoy talking to you about certain cowboys and certain bad boys. I love your writing, I wish I wrote more like you did, tbh. I hope you never change and I hope we stay friends. If you ever need to talk or want to talk, you’re always welcome in my DM’s.

@robwiethoff I LOVE LOVE YOUR LOVE FOR HANGMAN. I aspire to love something/someone as much, tbh. I know I’m probably annoying af, but honestly, I enjoy talking to you. I hope to get to know you better, you’re a sweetheart. I love reading your writing / hearing your ideas and honestly, just.. I send you hugs.

@adamcolesteeth I’ve really enjoyed talking to you and I genuinely thank you for the random fake fic title prompts, because I’ve really had a blast doing them. I loved your Christmas Luchasaurus fic, it was so much fun to read.

@hardcorewwetrash we may not like the same football teams, ( roll damn tide, lol) but I honestly love to read your posts. You’re a real person and the world needs more of those. You speak your mind. I honestly wish I could just do that sometimes. It’s been so fun talking to you / seeing your posts on the dash. 

@country-believethat-gallowaywwe AHHHH. I LOVE THE TALKS WE HAVE ABOUT DREW. Also, thanks for all the picture inspiration you send me that one time I really, really, really needed it. I think you’re a sweetheart and I hope to get to know you better / have more talks in the future.

@twdeadfanfic I love your fics, first of all. You’re an amazing writer and you blow me away with each new one you post. I know we don’t get to talk often, but I enjoy talking to you. 

@heel-rollins you are a sweetheart. I love talking to you and I wish we got to talk more, tbh. 

@hamstxr I love your posts, they always make me smile. I wish we get to talk more and you seem like a really sweet person. 

@kittysilver86 Kitty, I love you. You’re a positive and sweet person and your writing is so good and so fluffy yet dirty, I love it. I love Ava as a character and I love these little universes you make up. Your posts always make me smile and honestly, I just wanna hug you. I really enjoy being friends with you even though we don’t get to talk often.

@schizoauthoress You’re a really kind person. I really enjoy your posts on my dash and I love the talks we’ve had there. If you ever wanna talk my DM’s are always open. You seem really down to earth and really open and I love that. I hope to get to know you better this year.

@vonschweetz Von, I am so proud of you. You’ve been through a lot and you went above and beyond to rise out of it all and you’re thriving now. You’re a huge inspiration and you’re so freaking sweet that like.. If anyone ever tried to hurt you, I’d probably give them these hands. I love talking to you, I love looking at your edits and I really, really, really love your fics. You always make me smile.

OLD FRIENDS:

@helluvawriter you’re a kind person and I love you so much. You’re a really amazing writer and you’re always so down to earth. You were the first friend I made in the wrestling fandom way back when and even though we don’t get to talk much anymore, I love you and I love our talks when we do. You’re an amazing mother. I hope if I ever get to be a mom, I’m like you. I’m so glad we’re friends.

@andie01  holy shit.. You’re so much fun to talk to. I love that you’re as blunt as me and that we can just DM back and forth about total randomness. I love Beasts, it’s one of my favorite fanfictions of all time. I love you so much. Like.. you’re an inspiration to me and i don’t think you realize that. I’m so glad we’re friends.

@wrestlingismyguiltypleasure First of all, you’re an amazing mother. And I am so happy for you and your little family! I love talking to you, even if we don’t get to talk that much anymore, I enjoy our talks when we do. You’re going to get me to write Alpha!Ethan Carter III yet, I promise. It’s coming. You inspire me and I love the random things you send me to look at. I’m so glad we’re friends.

@kayah16 I wish I was half as creative as you. I love reading your one shots and I love you. You’re a really amazing and kind person and honestly, the world could use more of that. There are so many times I’m having an absolute shit day and I log on and you’ve sent me a recipe or tagged me in something that makes me smile. I wish I could hug you. I hope I can help you as much as you’ve helped me. If you ever need me, I’m here. I’m so glad we’re friends.

@missjenniferb I love the random thirst tags and the dm’s at 1 am, they always make me smile. I love that you tag me in Bucky things now, because that’s kinda how I got so deep into him. I blame you for that. I really have so much fun talking to you because it’s like… the lengths of our dirty minds combined, and i live for that. You always make me smile, I just hope I make you smile too. I’m so glad we’re friends.

@heelsamizayn you’re also another person I started to talk to way back when and honestly, I really, really, really love you. You’re a sweet and blunt person who isn’t afraid to say what she thinks. I love talking to you, whether it be about any of our thirsts or whatever we’re writing or random stuff that irritates us both during the day. I’m so glad we’re friends.

@bo0kitten I really love our talks. We like a lot of the same bands, and you always have these well thought out opinions / facts on things. I love seeing you on my dash and I really wish we got to talk more often. I’m so glad we’re friends.

@chasingeverybreakingwave BB you really didn’t think I was going to forget you.. Noooo. Never. I love talking to you and I love your posts / live blogs. You dragged me kicking and screaming into Jimmy Havoc and I love you for it. You’ve also gotten me into music that I hadn’t ever heard before too. Never change, bb! I’m so glad we’re friends.

@calwitch MOM HI! I love you. And I will totally let you adopt me. You’re kinda stuck with me now. I love your posts and you never fail to encourage me when I need it most. You’re a sweet person and totally down to earth and open. Some of your comments on my fic posts have given me that little nudge when I needed it most and I can’t thank you enough for that. You’re an awesome and fun person and I love that you don’t hold back on anything. I’m so glad we’re friends.

@markostuntthesehoes I absolutely adore you and I love your writing. I love our talks, the things we’ve bounced back and forth over DM’s. You’ve gotten me to really appreciate people that I wasn’t sure about before talking to you. Your posts always make me smile and you’re an absolute gem. I’m so glad we’re friends.

[space-------kid]

can’t keep my hands (off you).

Anime/Manga: One Punch Man Pairing: Garou/fem!Reader Additional pairing/characters: platonic Metal Bat/fem!Reader, Zenko, mentions of other heroes such as Saitama, Watchdog Man, etc. Genre: Romance, comedy Warning: Absolute silliness. Language – Garou and reader both ate rainbows for breakfast. Dumbassery. Teeth-rotting fluff, maybe? Reader is hella strong like Saitama. Half-assed spice because you’re good at cockblocking Garou despite being low-key thirsty for him. And LOTS of dumbassery from the reader, most probably. Additional tag: Dream-based fic, canon-divergent, Garou is horny af A/N: This is supposed to be a lengthy one-shot, but I’m a dumbass who can’t keep my word so the supposedly one-shot isn’t a one shot anymore.  Now I have to worry how I should properly divide all those parts (I mean, they’re already divided, but–) 😅 Happy New Year! *snicker*

You and Badd go out. No, it’s not a date.

Summary:

Your life had its general ups and downs, pros and cons, the good and the bad.

You were admittedly a coward and afraid of being targeted by people for it. Following the advice of your (best) friend you trained hard, like, FUCKING hard, and now you’re blessedly, utterly strong you can take down enemies with just one hit. A good thing, really. Can’t let any bad guy harass you or something.

But-

You were probably cursed with the biggest, baddest of luck. Not only were monsters chasing you, suddenly there was this fucking hot bastard weirdo who kept on calling himself the Hero Hunter. “I’m not a hero, goddamn it!”

i. and ii. | iii. and iv. | v. |[more to be added]

“i can’t keep my

hands

off…!”

- can’t keep my hands off you/simple plan

vi.

You quit the fast-food industry when the place you were working at was demolished by a monster.

You wondered why those blasted creeps kept coming out one after the other, and the rate of their appearances increased after that near-alien invasion a few weeks ago.

Badd sat beside you on the wooden bench at a park, metal bat resting on his shoulder. He was quietly sipping on the bubble tea you bought for him, chewing on the straw sometimes while he listened to you talk about your week.

“So you beat it after trashing your workplace, huh,” Badd casually commented while munching on the chewy pearls on his drink. “Did the branch manager give you an incentive or something?”

“Yeah,” you replied glumly. “But I feel kinda guilty since I think I was the reason why our place got destroyed, though. Maybe that monster was chasing me, and…” you ended your story with a feeble shrug.

Slight pain bloomed on your left cheek when Badd poked you a little hard with a finger.

“Or maybe it’s not,” he told you sternly, but the effect was dampened by the straw sticking out of his mouth. “C’mon, [Name]. Just because you’re scared of monsters doesn’t mean that all of them are out for yer blood. Sometimes, you just may be at the wrong place at the wrong time. But that’s why you trained to get strong, right? And look at you now, beating up the monsters you’re so scared of.”

Emboldened by his comment, you nodded in response and laid your head on his unoccupied shoulder. He placed his head on top of yours in response as he stifled a bored yawn.

“’M still glad that you’re safe, yanno. Zenko would’ve killed me for not being the hero to arrive on scene,” Badd remarked, sounding a little peeved at the thought of the pro-hero that disposed the monster’s lackeys surrounding the restaurant you previously worked at.

You frowned, already catching on and agreeing with his thoughts. You could still feel irritation rising in your gut at the memory of Amai Mask flashing you that sickly sweet smile of his while he rescued you and your workmates from the rest of the Mysterious Beings that attacked. Idol or not your dislike for the guy was clear as day, something you and Badd shared but would never tell Zenko. She was a huge fan of Amai Mask, and you and your best friend wouldn’t dare make an enemy out of her by telling her of your shared hostility towards the man.

“It would’ve been nice if it was my favourite hero who came to save the day,” you mumbled.

Badd let out a proud huff at your comment. “Don’t worry, [Name]. I’ll back you up next time so I can finally see how you-“

“Too bad Watchdog Man only looks after Q City,” you interjected, smirking.

Badd slung an arm around your shoulders and pulled on your hair in retaliation.

“Ow!"

“Tell me I’m not your favourite anymore and I will toss you in the river, dumbass!” he told you indignantly, spurring you to laugh at him.

“I’m kidding, sheesh! No need to get your bontan in a twist. Silly Metal Bat.”

Your discussion soon crossed his job as a hero. You already knew from the beginning that your best friend was a trouble kid at school even though you went at different ones, but knowing him as the best older brother to Zenko and a supportive friend to you, you couldn’t be any prouder at the dedication he showed in doing his hero work. Badd may act like a total delinquent, but you knew that he was a kind softie through and through.

Your best friend relayed to you the basics: From killing monsters the lower-ranking heroes couldn’t defeat and doing the assignments he was given to complaining about how the H. A. began handling things after A-City got wiped out because of that near-alien invasion thing. You tried your best not to laugh at the predicament Badd might soon find himself in when he grumbled about the possibility of being assigned as an executive’s bodyguard one of these days.

Man, you sure were glad that you kept on telling him no despite his best efforts on roping you into becoming a hero.

However, you still couldn’t help but feel worried for Badd. You knew he was terribly strong and that he could look after himself more than you’d expect, but even you would be a hypocrite to think that none was stronger than him sans his fellow S-Class.

Badd told you once that he could take care of a Dragon-level monster. You knew he could, you believed in him with all your heart.

But what if he would come face to face with a threat that might possibly be the worst match for him?

That was exactly what you told him, anxiety furrowing your brows.

The S-Class hero gazed at you with a reassuring smile, his usual confidence replaced by gratitude for being worried and looking out for him.

“I’d still beat their asses, [Name]!” Badd declared while ruffling your already messy [length] hair.

You returned his smile.

“I know you’re already strong, [Name], but I just gotta tell ya,” he said, turning serious. “Be careful, alright? More so now that you live alone and away from us. Also, there’s this arrogant bastard who roams around and beats up heroes. Calls himself the ‘Hero Hunter’.”

You straightened in your seat at the mention of the title and shot Badd a wide-eyed look. “Hero Hunter?”

He nodded. “The guys at the Association told me about it after Tank Top Master and his flunkies as well as that C-Class rank 1 got pummelled by that freak.”

Perhaps he was so used to seeing you look so frightened, but Badd didn’t notice the way you shuffled awkwardly beside him.

“D-Did… Did they t-tell you what he looks like?”

“Well, I didn’t wanna look at the picture they offered me, but when I was told that he was Silverfang’s former student it got me curious, you know?”

As Badd described what the so-called Hero Hunter looked like, you felt faint. What the hell were you doing, avoiding watching the news for weeks because all you ever see on the news were monster attacks and discussions about the aliens who obliterated A-City? Avoiding the media altogether? Oh, god, have you really been living under a rock since you moved out of your childhood home to miss something like this?

Badd’s description of the Hero Hunter fit a certain someone to a T.

Your recent unwanted visitor was-?

Not only were you an utter idiot, you seemed to also becoming rather forgetful. Hadn’t Garou called himself the Hero Hunter the very first time you met?

Holy shit.

Holy fucking shit.

Your new friend – because with all that messing around you two were sure past being acquaintances now – was the fucking Hero Hunter. A wanted criminal.

Badd was oblivious with your internal struggles and excused himself when his phone rang.

God. What were you going to do? Tell Badd?

Oh, god.

You never dreamed of going to jail.

---

to be continued

[sippin-on-red-wine]

No. 6 Collaborations Project: A review!

It’s been a week since this fabulous album has dropped into our hands. Click “Keep reading to hear my thoughts on each track!

Track 1. Beautiful People Khalid ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: You look stunning dear/So don’t ask that question here

Thoughts/Reflection: Ed keeps referring to this song as ‘cozy’ and I completely agree. The vibe is cool. I love the tone of his voice here and I think it meshes really nicely with Khalid’s. The content isn’t super relatable, but I think we can all take something away from this one. It’s a good note on self-awareness and being able to see the reality in things that may look glamorous on the surface. 

-

Track 2. South of the Border feat. Camila Cabello, Cardi B ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: So join me in this bed that I’m in/Push up on me and sweat darlin’/So I’m gonna put my time in/Won’t stop until the angels sing

Thoughts/Reflection: This track is literally freaking scorching hot fire. TBH I’m surprised that they led the album with IDC and not this one. It feels like big radio potential to me. Regardless, this song is an absolute BOP - so catchy and so fucking sexy. 

I know Ed’s Spanish leaves something to be desired ☺ But I feel like we can cut him some slack after singing (yet another) song dedicated to going down on a woman. The ginger is forgiven! Five stars for him! And I’m going to have SOTB on repeat all summer (or for the rest of my life).

Oh, I also really like Cardi on this song. IDK if she’s problematic or w/e, I don’t really follow her in the media at all. But her verse is fun. (I think Ed got a lil jungle fever AY) bahahahah

-

Track 3. Cross Me feat. Chance the Rapper, PnB Rock ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: Know she gonna slide anytime you bitches talk shit/Keep a lil blade in her fuckin’ lip gloss kit 

Thoughts/Reflection: Love love love LOVE this one. It just makes you want to get up and DANCE the damn thing! I have to laugh a little at the thought of Ed being hard & tough, lol, but it’s a cool concept nonetheless. Like he said in his Charlemagne interview, it’s kind of a love song…. but a different tempo. It’s catchy as all hell and Chance’s verse is fucking cool. 

Full points. 

-

Track 4. Take Me Back to London feat. Stormzy ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: Coz you can win BRITS (it don’t stop)/And you can do Glasto (headline slot)

Thoughts/Reflection: Fuck. This song, though. IIt’s the first one that jumped out at me when I did my first full album listen. And I haven’t stopped listening since. The chorus is so syncopated. Stormzy is sick on this track, I love his voice so much. And it just feels like the two of them really play off each other nicely and probably had a blast making this song. 

Also, Ed flexing “Grossed half a billi on the Divide tour/No I’m not kidding what would I lie for” is BDE and I’m personally really here for it.

This song is a banger and you should dance in your kitchen to it while baking pastries. FIve stars for you, Big Mike and Teddy.

(Dear God please let Stormzy guest live in Ipswich)

-

Track 5. Best Part of Me feat. YEBBA ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: it’s not a lyric but that part when Ed & YEBBA are harmonizing perfectly in the whoooaaAAaaaA 

Thoughts/Reflection: I love the sound on this song! His voice is so raw and tender here. It reminds me of Plus era, but grown up. I think it may be how delicately he approaches the syllables in his verse and the chorus. YEBBA’s tone is super rich and lovely, and they sound great together.

I’m taking a “star” off here because I don’t love the lyrics. I get that he’s being vulnerable and showing insecurities in verse 1, but then YEBBA follows that up with lamenting about misplacing things and being late for the train? It doesn’t seem to match up with admitting physical/bodily insecurities. Also, it could just be that I hate that Ed thinks of himself this way.

DUDE IS HOT AF

-

Track 6. I Don’t Care feat. Justin Bieber ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: I don’t like nobody but you/I hate everyone here

Thoughts/Reflection: Oh god. When did this song come out? I’m trying to think back to my first impressions of it, LOL. It’s bright and poppy and of course it went and stayed #1 all summer (thus far). I remember thinking it was so cool that the melody is super mainstream and upbeat, but the underlying theme is around social anxiety. “Crippled with anxiety/But I’m told I’m where I’m sposed to be” 

I mostly skip this one now that the full album is out, but I think I listened to it for a full 48 hours on repeat when it first dropped. Bieber is problematic and shit, and honestly I don’t think he adds much to the song. I really like Ed’s acoustic version where he does the whole thing solo.

The bridge slaps. Literally. I love that clapping bit behind it. I wish that Ed hadn’t fucked up the lyrics to the bridge in the acoustic version lolololol

Four stars, will bop along for many moons to come

-

Track 7. Antisocial feat. Travis Scott ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: So antisocial but I don’t care/Don’t give a damn I’m gonna smoke here/Got a bottle in my hand bring more tho

Thoughts/Reflection: DID YOU SEE HIM GUEST AT TRAVIS’ SHOW LAST NIGHT? This song was already one of my faves but holy shit. In interviews, Ed talks a lot about feeling awkward on stage without a guitar - but it didn’t look like that last night. He was bouncy as all hell, sounded great, looked great. Looked like he was loving the crowd’s energy too.

And the music video? That deserves a post all on it’s own.

This track is pretty short but it’s packed with good stuff. Ed’s intro is really strong here, the chorus is interesting despite the repetition. I physically can’t help but groove along to this tune. I’m sorry. I have no say in the matter

-

Track 8. Remember the Name feat. Eminem, 50 Cent ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: 20 years old is when I came in the game/And now it's eight years on and you remember the name/And if you thought I was good, well, then I'm better today

Thoughts/Reflection: YES. YES. YES.  The song intros with a reference to Ipswich, bitch. I love how Ed makes those connections back to his upbringing.

It’s a little unreal that these three iconic voices/styles can flow so well on a song and still sound so balanced. 

I’ve got this one on repeat too. I’m determined to learn all of the words damnit!!

Five stars for a tune that I would love to see performed live someday.

-

Track 9. Feels feat. Young Thug, J Hus ★★★

Favorite Lyric: See you wigglin’, jigglin/If I have a bite will it taste like cinnamon?

Thoughts/Reflection: This song is fine. I like the feature verses. The song just doesn’t stick out that much for me.

-

Track 10. Put It All on Me feat. Ella Mai ★★★

Favorite Lyric: I try to be strong but I got demons/So can I lean on you?/I need a strong heart and a soft touch

Thoughts/Reflection: Falsetto. Falsetto everywhere. I love that! Ella Mai’s voice is so rich. Unfortunately, I don’t have a lot more to say on this one. It’s not a song I’m playing on repeat, but I don’t skip it either.

-

Track 11. Nothing On You feat. Paulo Londra, Dave ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: You and I/Whisky on ice/Maybe later we can turn down all the lights

Thoughts/Reflection: This song is SEXY and cool…. ‘smoke clouds and the scent of perfume’.... the imagery. Man. More falsetto here. Also, please go look up the translation of Paulo Londra’s verse. Thanks. I’m sweating. Is it hot in here? This album is *sexual* 

ALSO THE ‘BRRRP’ AFTER “they keep ringing my phone”  bahahahahah 

-

Track 12. I Don’t Want Your Money feat. H.E.R. ★★★★★

Favorite Lyric: I need you here for the good times and the bad times/Yeah the pullin’ out my hair gettin’ mad times/Not just the when I’m in your bed on my back times

Thoughts/Reflection: THIS IS SUCH A GODDAMN TUUUUNEEEEEE!!!!!!! I love this song so much. 10/10 jamming out to this in the car at every opportunity. Finger snappin’ cool r&b vibe. I love the super quick tempo (but not quite rap?) in Ed’s verses. And I always appreciate the little double-meaning-references in Ed’s songs - like ‘diamonds, silver or gold’ means $$$ of course, but also just success in terms of album sales performance.

TBH when I saw the title on Ed’s tracklist reveal, I totally thought this would be a slow mushy love song about how Ed’s lucky to have found someone who wasn’t into him for his money. This was a pleasant surprise!! I love that it’s a little angsty.

Five STARS bitch I love this song and y’all are sleeping on it

-

Track 13. 1000 Nights feat. Meek Mill, A Boogie Wit da Hoodie ★★★★

Favorite Lyric: Birds eye view/Pay my dues/For a two-mile queue

Thoughts/Reflection: i been ON for a thousAND NIGHTSSSSS NEW YORK TO LONDONNN DIFFERENT CITY EVERY DAYAYYY

1000 Nights: a flexy bop and I love it

This song is about the Divide tour which has been going for approximately 572 years. Not that I’m complaining.

But it’s cool (how many times have I said ‘cool’ in this post? don’t answer that). Ed loves touring and that comes out in this song. And Meek’s verse is so fun to rap along to!

Four stars.

-

Track 14. Way To Break My Heart feat. Skrillex ★★★★★

Favorite Lyric: I can’t stop thinkin’ bout her/And her lips on mine, so soft/Feelings I don’t know the name of

Thoughts/Reflection: biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch.

This song is NOSTALGIC and I simply adore it. It has that same… “cozy” feel that Beautiful People does. Which is strange, considering it’s a song about heartbreak. But it’s just so. Soft. And warm. 

We’re back to super soft placement of words and such pure tone. 

It’s hauntingly beautiful. And yet uptempo! Bless, Skrillex. I especially love the drums that come in during the chorus, after “you’re still gone, and i’ll say”

PS, the soft sound of mouth smacking at :13. Use headphones.

Some of my favorite Ed songs are ones about heartbreak, and I appreciate that he included one here. About an imaginary heartbreak 👀

Take another five stars from me, bud

- Track 15. BLOW feat. Chris Stapleton, Bruno Mars ★★★★★

Favorite Lyric: Hot damn/Pop it like a pistol mama/You got me down on my knees/Baby please?

Thoughts/Reflection: *laughing nervously*

Again, definitely not what I expected out of this track when the titles were all revealed. I LOVED release day on this one. The world collectively lost their shit. I need nothing more in this world than to see this song performed live, especially with a full band and Ed on an electric guitar. 

I’m still not over this loud, full, energetic song full of men bellowing about wanting to, well, fuck.

Bye

(five stars from me and also my 62 year old coworker Jan)

:::OVERALL:::

This album is SO GOOD MATE and I already cannot wait until the next collabs project! Ed blessed us with 15 amazing tracks to tide us over until Subtract comes out. They’re so different from his normal album stuff and I really love to see him try new sounds and get to create/collaborate with artists he admires so much.

it also has me real hot and bothered lmao

Thanks for coming to my tEd talk.

[peraltasames]

i could offer you a warm embrace to make you feel my love

kiss prompt 2 - A forehead kiss If you’re taking prompts at all: could you do something along the lines of Jake warming up a super cold Amy during the early stages of this relationship? - anonymous Can you do something hurt/comfort but with Jake comforting Amy? But like also suuuuper angsty? I’m fine I swear LOL - anonymous

read on ao3

The docks are barely covered with a light dusting of mid-November snow by the time Jake pulls up, parking his car rather haphazardly and taking off running in no particular direction - just to her, to Amy, to any sort of reassurance that his girlfriend is okay.

He realizes very quickly that Rosa’s words on the phone (“she’s fine, but you should get down here as soon as you can”) must have been a great understatement in interest of him not crashing his car in an effort to get to her. As far as he can tell from the moment he sees Amy sitting in the back of an ambulance, she is not fine.

If she was fine, she wouldn’t have an IV in her arm, she wouldn’t be trembling under a pile of blankets as a paramedic looks at her left shoulder and Rosa sits on her right side murmuring words of comfort and breaking her own rule about physical contact, she wouldn’t be paler than he’s ever seen her.

She’s way too pale - it looks like all the life and colour have been drained out of her. It terrifies him.

He eliminates the rest of the distance between them much faster than he was running before he spotted her, making all three heads turn in his direction as he comes barrelling towards her with frantic ‘worried boyfriend’ energy written all over his face. It’s a role he hasn’t yet had to play in the first few months of their relationship, and he’s not overly fond of the all-encompassing fear and panic coursing through his veins.

Amy brushes off the paramedic the moment he’s within her reach and throws her arms around him, yanking the IV out in the process, and his engulf her just as quickly. He almost jolts backward on reflex as her freezing cold lips graze his neck, but its replaced by a far stronger instinct to tighten his hold on her and not release her until she’s warm. Her arms slide around his waist under his jacket in response, and she lets out a single word in the form of a shaky, quiet sob: “Jake.”

“‘M here, Ames,” he whispers, still catching his breath from the short sprint over to her. He grants himself a moment to close his eyes and bury his face in her hair before he raises his head to look from the twenty-something female paramedic to his long-time friend and coworker. Rosa’s eyes are dark and her stare is apologetic. “What happened?”

“Our perps went off running in different directions, so we split up,” Rosa says, her voice lacking its usual steadiness. Jake realizes for the first time that her hair is as wet at Amy’s, but she doesn’t appear to be in anywhere near the same amount of distress. “Amy followed the guy down by the water, but he spun around and pushed her off the dock. She hit her head and shoulder on the way down.” Jake keeps his eyes on Rosa but squeezes Amy tighter, carefully avoiding her injury. “By the time I caught my guy and came back to find Amy, she’d been in the water for, I don’t know, ten minutes, maybe? There weren’t a lot of people around, so I was the first one to find her and pull her out-”

“I-I tried,” Amy mutters weakly, words muffled by his hoodie. “I-I tried to swim but I was so cold that I-”

She’s cut off by a violent tremor through her body, and Jake hastily removes his hoodie and jacket without any thought and wraps both of them around her to more effectively shield her from the cold. He eases her back into her former seated position, working together with the paramedic to cover her with the blankets once more.

“Jake, I-”

“You don’t have to talk, honey, it’s okay,” he murmurs, surprising himself with how early the term of endearment rolls of his tongue. He sees her hands begin to frantically reach for him again and he settles into the place between her and Rosa, pulling her back into his chest in the same movement. “I’ve got you. It’s okay.”

Amy sniffles and buries her nose in his chest. She feels smaller and more fragile in his arms than she ever has before, and it’s incredibly jarring.

“So then you called 911?” Jake continues, trying to keep his voice steady and calm enough that it’s somewhat soothing for Amy.

“No. When I pulled her out, she wasn’t-I think she managed to stay above water most of the time, but with the cold and everything-” Rosa shivers for a moment, though it seems to be more of a reaction to the trauma than her body temperature. Jake gulps and prepares himself for Rosa to finish her sentence, despite the anxiety gnawing at his chest. “She wasn’t breathing. I-I had to give her CPR.”

Jake’s throat feels dry and his eyes begin to well with emotion as his hand automatically sweeps up Amy’s back to cradle her head to him and his fingers come to lightly rest on the pulse point on her neck, the steady beating of her heart helping the pit in his stomach subside slightly.

“I-holy shit, Ames, I just-” He pulls away from her a little to frame her face in his hands. “I should’ve been here, I should’ve-”

Amy gives a small shake of her head, her cold lips pressing chastely against his in what he assumes is the best comfort she feels she can offer him right now. She mumbles a soft “it’s okay” after they part and tucks herself back into his embrace. He hates that she’s comforting him right now but, damn it, if losing her isn’t the single most terrifying thought his brain has ever produced.

“Thank god,” he sighs into her shoulder, eyes tightly shut. “Thank god you’re okay. I mean-” He looks up at the paramedic, whose presence he had largely forgotten about until this moment. “She’s okay, right?”

“I’ve treated her for hypothermia and a mild concussion, as well as some deep bruising on her shoulder,” the woman states clearly and concisely, addressing Jake. “You’ll be the one taking care of her?”

He nods without a thought, his hand smoothing down Amy’s damp and tangled hair in a repetitive motion.

“Make sure she gets lots of rest, drinks warm fluids, and, obviously, ensure that she stays warm and dry. Her body will be tired and sore, so she’ll want to take at least tomorrow off to recuperate. Keep an eye on her overnight, call 911 if she loses consciousness at any point.”

He nods gratefully, trying to commit her instructions to memory, and adjusts his grip on Amy slightly to keep one arm looped around her waist and use his other hand to cup her cheek.

“Okay, Ames, I’m gonna take you home.” His voice is somehow, impossibly, even softer than it was before. “Do you want me to carry you to the car?”

She slowly, carefully shifts off of the ambulance in a stiff movement and plants her feet firmly on the ground, still gripping his shirt for support. “I think I’m okay.”

“Okay,” Jake says a bit apprehensively, his hand remaining steady on her back. He briefly allows his eyes to leave her to look at Rosa. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, Jake,” Rosa says with a small eye roll and an almost imperceptible upward curl of her lips. “Get her home and text me later to let me know how she’s doing, I have to go back to work and finish the arrest report.”

“Okay. Let’s go, babe.” He helps her walk to the vehicle and opens the door for her, getting her adjusted with her seatbelt and blankets despite quiet protests that she can do it herself, then reaches over to blast the heat. “You okay? Are you comfortable?”

She nods slightly, giving him a small smile in reassurance, and allows her eyes to flutter shut for the remainder of the drive home. He spares a glance in her direction every few seconds, trying to determine whether or not she’s in much pain and placing a hand on her knee to rub comforting circles.

He slowly guides her upstairs once he’s secured a parking spot outside her apartment, an arm wrapped snugly around her waist to keep her from falling over as she leans into him with a hand still loosely wrapped around the material his shirt.

Getting her changed out of the still-damp pants and tank top she has on under the layers he gave her is his most pressing concern. He leads her to the bedroom and moves around in a flurry to find her some sweatpants and his oversized sweatshirt from college, hanging neatly in her closet as it often is these days; the fleece lining inherently makes it her absolute favourite article of clothing to steal from him.

Amy quickly peels off her wet clothes and changes into the ones he’s gathered for her, wincing as she attempts to lift her arms and pull the sweatshirt over her head.

“You okay?” He strides toward her, no longer caring about the few feet of personal space he had given her to change.

“It’s my shoulder-can you just-”

Her voice is small, her exhaustion becoming more and more apparent as she weakly gestures for him to help her with the sweater. He quickly pulls it over her head, careful not to jostle her injured shoulder, and runs his hands up and down her arms.

“Thanks.” She leans forward until her forehead collides with his chest and takes a slow, deep breath. “Can we go to the couch?”

He guides her to the couch and makes quick work of getting her settled in. Once he’s satisfied with the amount of pillows supporting her head and the number of blankets he’s draped over her body, he takes a moment to survey her before he steps away. Her hand in his is still cold but not as frozen as before, her cheeks have regained some of their usual colour, her half-lidded eyes are shining a little more brightly than when he first found her. He releases what he’s pretty sure is his first real breath in an hour.

“Do you want tea or hot chocolate?”

She shakes her head in response and reaches to grab his wrist and prevent him from retreating to the kitchen. “Don’t leave.”

Jake lets out a breathy laugh. “Babe, I’m not leaving. I’m just trying to warm you up.”

“You’re warm.” She releases his wrist and slides her fingers between his. “I just need you.”

The desperation in her voice is convincing enough for him to put the drinks on hold and lean back into the couch, opening his arms for her to crawl into. She sighs with contentment as her head once again finds itself buried in his neck.

“How are you feeling?” His hands trail her arms in a subconscious attempt to generate more heat.

“I’m okay,” she mumbles against him, shuffling closer and squeezing his stomach. Then, barely above a whisper: “I was scared.”

“I know, babe,” he says in a low voice, kissing the top of her head. “I can’t even imagine.”

“I couldn’t breathe. I was so cold and I couldn’t swim anymore and then I-I couldn’t breathe-”

Tears have begun to well in her eyes already as he pulls away to look at her, her bottom lip just barely beginning to tremble. He recognizes the look from impending panic attacks and nights spent watching sad movies. As always, he shifts gears and pulls her into a tighter embrace while whispering words of comfort.

“I know, Ames. I’ve got you, you’re okay now.” His lips graze her temple as he speaks, feeling her clutch him tighter with every murmured reassurance. “You’re safe, I’m here.”

His grip doesn’t waver, nor do his words of comfort taper off until her sobs are reduced to quiet sniffles and she is once again still against him. He pulls away only to wipe the tears from her cheeks and press his lips to her forehead in a long, sound kiss that makes her eyes flutter shut and her body relax even more.

“Yeah, you’re okay,” he whispers against he skin, talking primarily to himself this time. “You’re okay.”

She smiles warmly at him as he pulls back, curling herself into his frame and grabbing his hand to squeeze it with all the strength she can muster before letting her head fall against his chest again and finally letting sleep embrace her.

He doesn’t close his eyes, not daring to let himself sleep at least for a few hours in order to properly monitor her recovery and ensure that no negative side effects of her hypothermia or concussion make an appearance. He’s content to hold her and listen to her breathing until she resurfaces about an hour later to adjust her position cuddled against him.

“Thanks for taking care of me,” she mumbles in an adorable, sleepy tone that elicits a familiar fluttering sensation in his stomach.

“Of course, babe,” he responds, his voice shaky with deep-rooted affection and relief.

She squeezes his torso appreciatively. “And thanks for being so warm.”

“Awwww, I knew you were only dating me for my body heat.”

“Not just for your body heat.” She presses a light kiss to his jaw. “I’m mostly in it for your money.”

He lets out a lighthearted chuckle and holds her tighter, contently resting his head against the top of hers.

“Go back to sleep, Ames. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Jake waits until she falls asleep again, watching her protectively even though he knows no more harm can befall her here, and carefully lets himself out of her embrace to grab water, ibuprofen and a granola bar for when she wakes up. He returns to find her drooling on the pillow, looking incredibly content and warm in his baggy sweater, and settles back into his spot on the couch, turning the TV on with low volume and gently guiding her into his lap so he can run his fingers through her hair while she rests.

Silently, through a tender kiss to the back of her hand rather than any spoken commitment, he vows to protect and take care of her for as long as she’ll let him.

[regular-lord-reckoner]

managed to make it through the day!!

it had some ups and downs and starting out i was well on my way to a good disassociation but then i had to check in patients!!! so many fucking patients!!! holy shit. i don’t want to do this for three more days, man. what the fuck.

but i will! it’s still somehow better than switchboard so i’ll take it. it’s also helped that today two different people reached out to me in all seriousness like, “you want me to hurt your neighbor or scare the shit out of him or what?” and my nice manager called me and told me how sorry she was and kept telling me if i needed anything just call her and she was so. fucking. nice to me when i was leaving, asking me if i’d done okay because she knew front desk wasn’t as bad for me as switchboard but that it still made my anxiety bad and honestly i wish to god they’d just let her be the main manager. i’d gladly work there five years again because i know if this woman had the power to make things fair she would but the main manager treats her about like she treats the rest of us but ANYWAY

managed to make it to the bank on time with literal minutes to spare but got my check deposited which is great cause when i checked my email this morning i had a message from one hospital i owe money to that was like, “hey, we tried to do an automatic payment for $40 but your broke ass doesn’t have it, what the fuck??”

and now that i’m home it’s at least peaceful for right now. i think what the situation is with this neighbor is that he’s the grandson or nephew of the person who actually lives in that house.

it was a little old couple but the husband died i think maybe a little over a year now? but this relative of hers comes in sometimes from alabama to help her with stuff but he’s also just...taken it upon himself to terrorize everyone who lives around here and doesn’t give a fuck because he just dips whenever. not his place, he doesn’t give a fuck. which sucks because if we progress with the noise violation thing that means it’s likely gonna go to this little old lady but y’know...that’ll tell me for sure what a piece of shit he is if he’ll let her take the fall for that just so he can keep being a nightmare. i’ve even thought about offering if i can just take on whatever chores he does for her and she doesn’t have to pay me it’ll be thanks enough to keep him the ever loving fuck away but there’s also a part of me that doesn’t know how fond she is of him and if so...fuck her too, tbh.

i haven’t paid that close attention because gun shots have really just been a constant regardless of this dude it’s just they’re usually like...one or two during a reasonable time of day and it’s not as close to my house so i’ve let it be. i don’t love it, but it’s tolerable.

on what seems like mostly weekends though it’s all of a sudden like a fucking fourth of july fireworks show meets civil war re-enactment live from what sounds like it could be your own backyard!!!

and up to this point i think the most i’ve ever done is like...turn on the spooky depeche mode shit and blast it through a speaker but that’s usually when they ride their four wheelers so close to my goddamn house i can literally see them and their headlights through the trees. there are so many fucking woods in this area and you choose to be right up someone’s ass? no. we’re summoning satan over here, go away.

but yesterday i just...lost it. in a lot of ways i’m still very very very angry and upset. the shit i have fantasized about doing to this dude would make an ari aster movie look like an episode of barney. i was even contemplating fucking around with some dark magic because at this point........i dunno what kind of god would make me go through that. the initial event was enough, don’t you think? but no, let’s take the sound that more than anything sets you off and fucking bass boost it so loud it knocks shit off your walls and breaks them and then you’ll get laughed at for begging and pleading with the person responsible to stop!!!! i just...have a hard time right now feeling like any type of higher power is fond of me so fuck you right back, demons can solve my problems.

but no!!! i’ll be the bigger goddamn person!! because of course when this first ever started happening my mom was more upset on my behalf and was gonna go over there and talk to the neighbor about her grandson or nephew whatever he is but i was like, “no, maybe he’s just grieving and he needs to get it out of his system, just leave them alone.” FOOL. YOU’RE A FOOL, MADAM!!!

but!! to end on a positive note!! in what little time i has this morning to check my email and do a little looking, i emailed myself some links to potential therapists in my area. i need to whittle it down a little more by who takes my insurance and who seems best suited to deal with........all of this hopefully but yeah!! i’m kinda starting to do the thing!! god may fuckin hate me at this point but i’m still.......trying. fuck if i know why anymore but here i am!! so happy about it!!

[setitofffamily]

Track By Track Reaction to Midnight by Set It Off.

This was written as I was listening. So excuse any typoes. 

Killer In The Mirror - Why is it so aggressive? Why are these words so true? Why do I want to yell this at all the assholes I went to high school with? Or my old boss... Or that co-worker who ratted me out for something I didn’t do? Acturally this is quite a bop. Like I have no idea what “killer in the mirror” really means but I actually feel it in my bones... Yes. I’m going to send this to all those poeple who were assholes in high school. Yup. 

Hourglass - Reminds me a bit of old school SIO. Really digging this song. Is this song about a middle age crisis? Or an existential crisis? I think middle aged... Why is that relateable when I’m only 25? For some reason I want to go reread all those texts message I sent with my ex best friend that I kind of miss alot... Wait. This is the epitomy of reading old text messages with your ex at 3am... Then writing a pissy drunk text and deleting it? 

Lonely Dance - This album is literally how I feel every other day. The anthem of those of us who have anxiety and hate people. This how I feel when I’m writing in my room late at night surrounded by my obscure Marvel and music collection that no one ever sees... Also a BOP. I’m going to blast this on repeat every other day and scream the lyrics in my car, even when people are in the car with me. Yes. Yes. This song is my new anthem. 

Different Songs - Why is this song about action figures? Oh wait... A guitar? Is this about old school SIO changing? OMG IT IS! No wait... It’s about growing apart with the people you used to know? Wait no they are flipping off everyone who’s talking about their style changing? Wait... No it’s about an old relationship? I can’t figure this one out. Oh who cares. Another song I wanna dance to. But think it’s the one about growing apart. 

For You Forever - Already digging the change in pace. A little slower... Don’t hate it. OH SNAP! Bring that chorus around. You tell that person to stop stringing you along, Cody. YOU TELL THEM! Why is this also relatable? I hate this. Give me a song I can’t relate to on this album. Come on SIO! 

Dancing With The Devil - Demon voice? WHAT!? Wait... Why does this start sound like We Can’t Stop by Miley Cyrus? Did anyone else realize this? Not bad though... Not my favorite... I don’t think I like this one... Why is Cody now a demon? What’s he doing? Why don’t I like this? Why do I also want to sing along? Are there more than 1 demon in that back track? Why is is slow now? What is this song... Why is he angry again? I’m so distracted by the demon voice I can’t listen to the words. HE’S TALKING REALLY FAST!!!! Bring back the chorus CODY! And Demon man is back... Phew. Finished. 

Go To Bed Angry - Another slow beat... I can dig this. A little sway in my chair. Cool. Cool. I wish people listened to this anthem more often. Going to bed angry is literally bad for your health. Check the studies. Cody is onto something. GIRL!? WHO IS GIRL!? (check track) Oh it does say there’s a feature artist. Okay. She’s got a good voice. I should check her out... She’s no Ash Costello in Parners in Crime but.... Let’s all just go to bed happy. Send this to people who are mad at you when they pull the “Night.” text and hope they get the message? Not my favorite song on this album but not my least so far... 

Midnight Thoughts - YES! My favorite song heard before the release! JAM TIME! Mostly because this is literally how I feel every night. Excuse me while I go dance a bit and try not to wake up the roommates while I celebrate the existance of this song. ooooOOOoooOOOooo! 

Criminal Minds - Why does this sound like something that should be Hercules... That Disney movie you know and- Wait. What? This is a very different sound... I... I think I like it? I feel like this should be a musical or something. Like Cody is singing a solo in an emotional musical. He’s the protagonist. He’s a detective falling in love with the suspect, but this is the scene where he has a mental breakdown about what he should do about this situation. He’s debating running away with the suspect but he knows she might be guilty... And now we are full circle to that tour they did back in like 2014 with the masks and stuff with the Bonnie and Clyde story. Oh it’s over...

No Disrespect - Ooooo I like this guitar. This is the next number in the musical I was talking about. The suspect ran off with her drug dealer boyfriend after Cody let her go. Now he’s losing his job and pissed off at her. I need to get off this musical thing... This is a funky song. I like it. I wonder who pissed off Cody again? Piano? What!? Acoustic guitar? Where is this going? Now we’re in a romantic ballad? Never mind... He’s still mad... 

Stitch Me Up - Awwww... This reminds me of my best friends that have helped put me back together after all the shitty things I’ve been through... Already loving this song. The beat is good and lyrics are so amazing. I love this message as well... Everything you went through makes you who you are. My cat has even emerged to listen to this song. He’s digging it as well. YEAH CAT! When the cat approves it’s a good song right? This ones in the top 5 of this album. Yup. Also reminds me of S-Club7 for some reason? 

Raise No Fool - Call out all those fakers! YES! I like this. WHAT A JAM! Screw all the people who have tried to use me. I’mma send this to my old boss. In a random email. 2 years from now. When she forgets. Where was this song 3 months ago when I lost my job? Because this was perfect to decribe what happened. Instead of trying to type out what happened I could have just sent them this song! Also should send it to those people who strung me along over the years... The losing my job is just fresh. Also in the top 5. I’ll sing this LOUD at the next show. Don’t worry y’all. Abrupt end though? 

I Want You (Gone) - Someone hurt you!? WHO HURT YOU!? Someone hurt me... This is literally how I felt when I stopped talking to you like 3 years ago... And was ignoring all my friends and family telling me they were draining my happiness. Nothing was more relieving than taking all your stuff and shoving it in a box under my bed. Still trying to get my life back after those almost 5 years of my life wasted. There’s the trumpet! I was waiting for a trumpet. I like this song. Do I like this song or just the lyrics? Another song that seems like it should be in a musical. What if I wrote a musical with all these songs in it? Can I get those rights? Set It Off... Let’s chat about that. The next Broadway hit is Midnight. 

Unopened Windows - A VERY slow jam... This is cute... When it’s gonna turn dark... I feel it coming... Such a sweet song though. I wanna make a cover of this song. It’s so sweet. This would also be perfect in that musical we talked about. Oooo it’s picking up a bit... This feels so raw compared to their usual music. Why they gotta throw this curve ball at me? They better play this on the next tour. So I can cry... Now I wanna cry... I’mma cry... It’s making me sad... So many feels... I’m crying... This is a part 2 to Dad’s Song. Holy shit... No one warned me about this emotion!!! I miss Cloe so damn much... 

Happy All The Time - Still trying to get over Unopened Window’s. Hold on. Okay I can listen to this now. I’m half way through and can’t focus. I’m not crazy? Thank you, Cody. I like this. Sounds like another anthem. This was a good follow up to me bawling... Jesus... Okay. I forgive them. They literally just told me the fact I cried was okay because I don’t have to be happy all the time. 

[call-me-mister-midnight]

Aiden’s Highway to Hell: Watch Dogs/Hazbin Hotel Crossover

Hey everyone, I’ve started writing my first ever fanfiction and I’ve gotten great reviews over at AO3, so I figured I’d share it with all of you, as well! Not sure if I should post the whole story over time or not, but for now, I’ll leave you the first chapter and link you to the full story on AO3. Be sure to like and review! I’m also open to suggestions if you have any.

Summary: After the events of the first Watch Dogs, Aiden Pearce finds himself on the wrong end of a rescue gone wrong and ends up in Hell. His only ticket out? Through the Happy Hotel, where he must repent for his crimes and give up his vigilante ways for good. Only true remorse and a change of heart will be his saving grace. Sounds simple enough, but when he finds an old enemy and some not so friendly demons along the way, Aiden will learn that the road to redemption is long and difficult. Will Aiden be able to turn himself around and live an honest life? Will he be able to escape hell? Or will he be exterminated? What else is in store for The Fox? Tune in and find out!

Chapter 1: Hellbound

It was a cold February morning in the city of St. Louis; a perfect day to start cleaning up the streets and getting back into the swing of things. 

At least, that’s what Aiden thought as he got in his car and began to head towards Indigo Drive, where his Profiler was informing him of a crime in progress.

‘Another day, another assault…’, thought Aiden as he floored the gas, tearing down the highway. ‘I’ll get this over with and then try out that new diner. Nothing beats a good omelet.’ As he got closer and closer to his destination, a sense of uneasiness began to creep up on the battle-hardened vigilante. Why did he suddenly feel this way? He took down many an armored soldier before this with relative ease. This was going to be no different.

3 miles to the crime scene.

The unsettling feeling only grew worse. Shaking his head in disbelief, Aiden did his best to ignore the fear. Fear is what gets people killed in this line of work. Although he realized the importance of trusting his gut, Aiden knew damn well that he was merely overreacting. Perhaps he could use a vacation, he had endured quite a bit over the past few months. That’s it, the work was just getting to his head. Nothing to be worried about.

1 mile to the crime scene.

Aiden started to have second thoughts about interfering with this one. He couldn’t put a finger on it, but something felt seriously off. ‘No, I must. I can’t stop now, not after everything I’ve sacrificed’ he almost pleaded to himself. ‘I’ll do it, even if it kills me’. The anxiety was starting to peak at this moment; Aiden could swear his hands were starting to sweat. Embarrassing. How could someone who was so used to dropping the hammer on every person who came in between him and his niece’s killers suddenly be so timid? He NEVER had second thoughts before in his entire life. He couldn’t imagine what Jordi would ever say to him if he could read his mind. Thankfully, he never had to find out. All he needed to worry about was incapacitating his target and getting the hell outta Dodge.

“You have arrived.”

The robotic sound of his GPS snapped him out of his thoughts, prompting him to hit the brakes in order to study his surroundings. Under the bridge, perfect. His target wouldn’t even see him coming. As Aiden exited the car and screwed the silencer onto his pistol, he felt a cold chill blow over him. Gotta love that brisk St. Louis weather.

He powered up his Profiler and started searching the docks where the giant blue circle he had come to know and (not) love glowed back at him on the screen. After around 5 minutes of searching, he finally found his target: a tall, slender man in a black hoodie with the hood raised. It didn’t get any easier than this. Aiden hid behind a bridge support, keeping a close but safe distance between him and his potential prey. The man was clearly not in a hurry; he had no idea what was waiting for him just 10 feet away. As Aiden continued to tail the man, he saw it: a woman and child were tied up and were squirming around on the deck of a red and white boat that was sloppily docked about 25 yards away by Aiden’s prediction.

Easy pickings.

Aiden holstered his pistol and prepped his baton. He was gonna make this one hurt. He pulled his mask up and quickly approached the man. With a few well-placed swings and a liver shot for the cherry on top, the man went down onto the muddy grass with a satisfying thud.

‘See? Not even remotely a problem.’, thought Aiden as he ran over to the boat to free the hostages. He couldn’t help but feel proud of himself; not only did he get to save a couple of lives, he also didn’t have to break his back to get the few joys of being The Fox. That was all fine and dandy, up until the part where Aiden realized he made a gigantic tactical error.

“See you in HELL, scumbag!” came the sharp, high pitched voice of a second person that Aiden didn’t even account for. Before he could even turn around to confront the ambusher, it was too late. There was a bang, a flash of blinding white light, so bright that even the blind would have to shield their eyes from it. It was strangely beautiful, not even the slightest bit annoying. No pain, no blood… nothing. After what seemed like hours of this, he could hear the faint sounds of sirens and yelling, before suddenly feeling like he was falling. Not just falling, but freefalling. As in, going down a rollercoaster with nothing but your own body, hurtling towards a seemingly endless void. His speed and velocity only seemed to be increasing. Holy shit, this was REALLY fast. How was he not on fire from this much speed?

Aiden, too terrified to scream or flail, simply closed his eyes and braced himself for what was inevitably coming. This was the end, he knew it. He should’ve trusted his gut and just went to that stupid diner. For a brief moment, he regretted everything he ever did. The Fixer contracts he carried out, the convoys he destroyed, the cars he had stolen, but most of all, the people he put in danger… Nicky, Jacks… no, don’t think about her again…. dammit… even Lena. For the first time in what felt like forever, The Fox felt tears coming on. The intense speed at which he was falling didn’t even bother him anymore. The regret was heavy, burdensome. All of his past sins came to haunt him one last time before he met his fate. He supposed he deserved it. What a bitter pill regret is.

WHAM!

Aiden felt an impact so hard, he thought all of his body parts disconnected at once. All of the wind was instantly knocked out of him, the beautiful white light now gone. He was dead. But wait… he could still feel his arms and legs. He could still feel pain. So much pain…

All of the energy once within his shaken bones instantly disappeared. He felt like he could sleep forever. Isn’t that what he was doing? He honestly didn’t know anymore. All he knew was, he was splayed all across some hard surface… asphalt? It felt rocky, like asphalt. He tried moving his left arm slightly. It hurt a bit, but he managed to get the appendage out from under his body.

So far, so good.

He tried moving his right leg and was greeted by a tremendous amount of pain that rippled throughout his entire body.

Not good. Horrible idea.

Clearly, he wasn’t dead. At least, he didn’t think so. Also, what a nice warm atmosphere he was feeling. Wait… atmosphere? He was dead! He started hearing other ambiance sounds. Cars passing by, the distant chatter of human sounding voices… what the hell was going on? Only one way to find out. He tried to pick his head up to moderate success, managing to catch a glimpse of a very dark sky and what seemed like a wall of neon before letting his head smack against the pavement-like surface again.

‘Ow.’

It was bad enough he got shot in the damn head, now he had to be reckless and let his skull drop like that. He lifted his head again, this time getting a clear view of what was right in front of him. Aiden couldn’t believe it: he somehow ended up in a city! But not just any city; it was a city bathed in an eerie red fog, with a brightly lit sign around every corner. The buildings were tall and strangely shaped, some tipping to the side, others having jagged edges that jutted out at very peculiar angles.

‘Where the fuck am I?’, thought Aiden as he very slowly managed to get to a sitting up position, every muscle he moved screaming out in pain. After a couple minutes of scanning his surroundings in more detail, Aiden noticed something else: nobody else looked human. Well, they did, but they somewhat resembled some kind of animal or something. He quickly looked at his own hands, his eyes trailing down his chest and eventually stopping at his legs and feet. Somehow, Aiden looked completely unchanged. Everything about him was completely normal from before.

Breathing a sigh of relief, he started to try and get to a standing position. This time around, he managed to get it right the first time. He felt some cracking here and there, which, compared to the previous attempt at moving, was a welcome sensation. Anything was better than pain at this point. Spotting a vending machine nearby, Aiden decided, against his better judgment, to throw himself towards it to at least have something to hold on to.

That didn’t happen at all.

Aiden ended up almost rag dolling right past the machine as he awkwardly plummeted to another painful and embarrassing defeat.

“Well… that went well”, scoffed the vigilante bitterly. After spending another seemingly long time to get back on his feet, it finally hit him: this was no ordinary vending machine. “Heroin… acid… cocaine… molly… what the hell?”

He was beyond confused at this point. A vending machine that dispensed drugs?

Before he could ponder the situation any further, Aiden’s thought process was interrupted by a long scream followed by a what sounded like a laser blast. Adrenaline now kicking in, Aiden headed towards the general direction of the noise. It didn’t take him very long to pinpoint the source: a pair of creatures, jet black in color with icy halos over their head, open firing on some person vaguely resembling a frog. Their laughter was very chilling, half robotic and half distorted with a moderate amount of static. The sound cut through the air like a hot knife through butter.

Suddenly feeling mortal again and terrified beyond rational thought for the first time in his life, Aiden bolted for the closest street as one of the creatures turned to face him with a menacing smile. Heart pounding, Aiden managed to quickly limp a couple blocks before the adrenaline left his body, forcing him to come to a screeching halt under a small overhanging roof, slumping against the wall to catch his breath.

Aiden quickly scanned the building. “Looks like a hotel. Perfect.”

Without further delay, he opened the door, which was strangely unlocked, and quickly hid inside and slammed the door shut. Finally feeling safe, he let all of his weight rest against the hefty metal frame. The air was very still. The seconds seemed like hours as Aiden tried his best to keep his breath under control. He thanked his lucky stars that the place was abandoned. At least, until he suddenly felt something extremely sharp and extremely metal stick him right above his spine, followed by an intense and hostile female voice coming from behind him.

“Don’t move a muscle, asshole, or I’ll end you.”  

Like this story? Get up to date with the full story at:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18106346

[highfivecalum]

Our Home Place {CH} 8

“WHAT THE HELL happened to you?” Allie asked with wide eyes as she opened the door to her house for her best friend. Natalie walked in, wordlessly, and laid down on the couch that Michael was surprisingly not on. Natalie hid her face in the throw pillow that was next to her and let out a loud scream that she was holding in the whole time she was walking to Allie’s. “How was last night?”

Natalie was going to walk home, but decided last minute to go to Allie’s, since it was closer and she knew Allie would call her later to ask about how the banquet went. So, she killed two birds with one stone, and showed up unannounced at her best friends front door. “You won’t believe it.” Natalie mumbled against the pillow, but it was so muffled that Allie couldn’t hear or understand her.

“What?”

Natalie huffed and pulled the pillow away from her face, hugging it instead, and frowned at Allie who was sitting in the love seat across from her, already looking at Natalie with an expectant expression on her face. Natalie bit her lip, deep in thought, and finally spilled the beans. “Last night was great. Amazing, even.” Natalie sighed as she thought about her and Calum slow dancing and sharing chocolate covered strawberries.

“Then why the fuck do you look so depressed?”

“Calum and I, we…”

Allie furrowed her eyebrows. “You what?” Natalie raised her eyebrows, giving her a look, and Allie’s eyes widened. She covered her mouth after letting out an incredulous laugh, which sounded much more like a scream, and quickly stopped laughing when Natalie’s reaction didn’t match her own. “You did not!”

“We did.” Natalie confirmed with a nod of her head.

“What’s with all the screaming?” Michael came down the stairs, rubbing his sleep filled eyes, letting out a ridiculously loud yawn. Allie’s lips turned up into a smirk as she gloated to her boyfriend.

“Oh nothing. Natalie just told me that she and Calum fucked last night.” Michael’s eyes widened in complete surprise. They were betting on whether or not Natalie and Calum would finally act on the sexual tension between each other, and Michael thought they definitely wouldn’t, while Allie thought they would. Although there was no money or prize involved in the bet, Allie just liked the satisfaction of winning and proving her boyfriend, who was always right, wrong.  “I told you they would!”

“Holy shit. Didn’t see that coming.” Michael laughed and pulled Allie up from the love seat, plopping down on it, and bringing Allie down with him. She landed on his lap and Michael rested his chin on her shoulder and Natalie scowled at the sight of how cute her two best friends were. “Well, how was it?” Michael pressed.

“It was…” Natalie groaned at the memory. “It was amazing. Fucking fantastic. Best I’ve ever had, honestly. Unfair how good he is in bed.” Natalie never held back when it came to talking about her sex life with Michael and Allie. Why would she? They were two of her closest friends, after all.

“Then what’s the problem? Why does it sound like you’re complaining about it?”

“This morning… he-he told me it should have never happened. That it was a mistake.” Natalie swallowed thickly and her best friends glanced at each other, their mouths pulled back into a yikes expression that Natalie didn’t miss. “Exactly.”

“Are you serious?” Allie scoffed. “What an asshole!”

“And then I left and walked all the way here.” Natalie finished the short story and Allie and Michael both frowned. They both knew how much Natalie liked Calum and Allie thought that for sure Calum liked Natalie back, but apparently, she thought wrong, and she felt bad for her best friend. Allie was rooting for her friend, telling her that the feelings were definitely reciprocated, and now that she found out they weren’t, she felt guilty in a way.

“That’s awful, Nat.” Allie frowned. “What else did he say?”

“Well, he told me that I was amazing, and that if I wasn’t Lily’s babysitter that he would have me in his bed again.” Natalie scoffed. “Like seriously? Why would he think that would be a good thing to tell me? He said he didn’t think it would work out with me being Lily’s babysitter and all,” Natalie rolled her eyes. “And then he finished it by saying that he didn’t want it to be awkward between us and he still wants to be friends.”

“Well, I mean, at least he still wants you to watch Lily, you know? It could have been much worse. He could have fired you.” Michael tried to think on the bright side, and although he was right, Natalie didn’t see it that way. “It’s good that he still wants you around. Right?”

“I guess so.” Natalie shrugged. “It’s going to be hard to be around him now, though, after seeing every inch of his body naked. And feeling his mouth, and tongue, and-

Michael cut her off. “Okay!” He threw his hands up. “I know I asked you how it was, but I don’t need that much detail.”

Allie smirked. “I do.”

Natalie was glad she had Allie and Michael to talk to, because she knew she could tell her mother, but she didn’t want to be a bother. Natalie thought her problems were miniscule compared to mother’s; who was laying in a hospital bed with wires and tubes attached to her, dying.

❋ ❋ ❋

Natalie sat in the driveway of Calum’s house, her grip on the steering wheel so hard that her knuckles turned white. She didn’t want to go inside. Not after what happened the prior weekend. She was ecstatic that Calum’s sister, Mali, offered to watch Lily for a few days, so she could try to rid herself of some of the embarrassment she felt, but now, on a Wednesday afternoon, here she was, and still not completely over what happened.

Natalie finally grew a pair of balls and knocked her fist against the door. She felt like she did the first time she ever went to Calum’s house for the first time; nervous and racked with anxiety. Natalie knew she shouldn’t feel that way, but she couldn’t help it. She hated that she succumbed to her sexual desires for Calum and potentially ruined the friendship they had going, but when Calum opened the door, it didn’t seem like she had.

He was all smiles and, it in turn, made Natalie smile as well, and she felt her nervousness and anxiety fade away at the mere sight of him smiling at her, acting as if nothing happened between the two of them. It made her feel better that Calum wasn’t being awkward, but it also made her feel bad because he was acting as if it never happened, when that’s all Natalie could think of.

“Hey, Natalie.” Calum was going to hug her, but decided against it, and motioned for her to come inside. He was running late and still had to finish making his coffee and getting his belongings together. “Lils! Natalie is here!”

“Natty!” Lily raced inside of the kitchen, Duke following behind her, and wrapped her small around around Natalie’s legs like she always did. “I missed you so much, Natty!”

“I missed you, too, Lily.” Natalie crouched down to Lily’s level and smiled at the little girl. “How were your few days with Aunt Mali?”

“So great!” Lily gushed. Calum smiled at the sight of Natalie and Lily together and loved that Natalie looked genuinely interested in what his daughter had to say. Calum loved Natalie’s smile and he wanted to see it all of the time, and he wanted to be the reason for it, but he couldn’t be. He knew it wasn’t smart, wasn’t a good idea, no matter how badly he wanted her, he couldn't. “Aunty Mali took me to the zoo and then we went to get ice cream and then played on the playground!”

“Wow, Lily,” Natalie laughed. “That sounds like a blast.”

“It was!”

“Alright, girls,” Calum slipped his blazer on and interrupted the conversation that was taking place. “I gotta get going now. I’m already late.” Calum leaned down and placed a kiss on the top of Lily’s head. “Be good for Natalie today, okay?”

“I’m always good, daddy!” Lily argued.

Calum laughed and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah.” He adjusted his tie as he spoke. “Text me if you need anything?” He spoke to Natalie who simply nodded her head with a small smile. Calum said his final goodbyes and exited his house, leaving his two girls.

“So, Lils, what do you want to do today?”

“I wanna meet your mommy!” Lily cheered.

Natalie furrowed her eyebrows at the girl. “My mommy?” Lily nodded her head excitedly. “Why’s that?”

“Well, you know my daddy, I wanna know your mommy!”

Natalie pondered over it for a bit. She hadn’t seen her mother in a few days and she did miss her, and she didn’t really want to be stuck in the Hood household all day, so Lily’s idea wasn’t sounding too bad. “Okay.” Natalie nodded her head. “You can meet my mommy.”

Lily helped Natalie set up her carseat in the back of her car, since she was clueless when it came to anything carseats, and buckled Lily up. Natalie started her car, but before going anywhere, sent Calum a quick text to let him know. She didn’t just want to take Lily to the hospital without him knowing.

Natalie: I’m taking Lily to the hospital to meet my mom. It was her idea. Is that okay?

She hated how formal she sounded over text, she never was formal with him in real life, well, not until they got drunk and ended up in bed together. Calum opened her text and responded right away.

Calum: Of course. Drive safe.

Natalie didn’t bother texting back, not seeing the point in it, so she quickly pulled out of the ridiculously long driveway and drove the twenty minutes to the hospital. Her and Lily listened to Hannah Montana, Lily’s request, the whole time and Natalie wasn’t ashamed that she knew almost every word to almost every song.

Parking was a bitch, like always, and since it was so busy Natalie carried Lily on her back, in fear of a car coming out of nowhere, or not seeing the little girl, and hitting her. It was a bit dramatic, Natalie knew, but she didn’t want anything to happen to Lily because of her. And Lily loved being carried on people’s backs, so she didn’t mind.

“Hi Natalie!” Shelly, the receptionist, greeted her happily. “Who’s this?” She smiled at Lily who smiled back politely.

“This is Lily.” Natalie smiled as Shelly wrote her name down on a guest pass. “Can you say hi, Lils?”

“Hi!” Lily waved happily. Shelly handed her the pass and Natalie thanked her before she made her way to the elevator, with Lily still on her back. “Natty?” Natalie hummed. “Why are we in a hospital?”

“My mom is sick,” Natalie explained. “So she has to stay here for a little while.”

Natalie didn’t bother knocking before she swung her mother’s hospital door open, and smiled when she saw her and Dr. Irwin talking. “Hi, sweetie.” Michelle greeted her daughter. She was in pain and Natalie could tell, but she tried not to let it affect her mood.

“Hi mama. Dr. Irwin.” Natalie smiled and carefully dropped Lily from her back onto one of the chair. “This is Lily. The girl I babysit for.”

“Hi Lily,” Dr. Irwin smiled down at the little girl who was already smiling wide enough for all of them.

“Are you Natty’s mommy?” Lily asked Michelle.

“Yes, dear, I am. My name is Michelle.” Natalie’s mom smiled adoringly at Lily who was resting her arms and chin on the side of the hospital bed. Dr. Irwin excused himself, leaving the three together. “It’s very nice to meet you, Lily. I’ve heard lots about you.”

“You have?!” She excitedly jumped up on the bed and Natalie took her usual seat on the chair that was next to her mother’s bed. The three of them talked and laughed and for a second, Natalie forgot about her problems with Calum, and forgot that her mother was sick.

❋ ❋ ❋

Calum’s was on his way to the hospital, after texting Natalie and letting her know he was off work, she offered to drive Lily back to their house, but he insisted he would drive to pick her up. Calum didn’t want to make Natalie leave her mother, he already felt bad enough, so he told her he would pick her up.

He found a parking spot quite easily, unlike Natalie, and walked through the sliding doors. Shelly greeted him just as happily as she greeted Natalie and everybody else that came into the hospital. “Hi there! How can I help you?”

“Um, I’m looking for a room number?” Calum spoke.

“What’s the last name?” Shelly asked, getting prepared to type whatever name it was.

“Campbell.” Calum had to rack his brain to remember Natalie’s last name.

“Oh!” Shelly’s face lit up. “I know exactly who you’re talking about. Can you sign in please?” She pointed to the sheet of paper in front of Calum and he scribbled his name down and she wrote him a guest pass and told him what floor and what room number Michelle’s room was.

“Thank you.” Calum wanted to get in and out as fast as he could. He hated hospitals, absolutely hated them, and the last time he was in one his father died, so all he had were bad memories. He found Michelle’s room with little to no struggle and knocked lightly.

“Come in!” He heard Natalie’s familiar voice and slowly opened the door, popping his head in. Lily’s eyes lit up at the sight of her father, and his lit up at the sight of Natalie, Lily, and Michelle playing Go Fish on Michelle’s bed; Lily and Natalie both of opposite sides and the cards on Michelle’s lap. “Hi Calum.”

“Hi Nat,” Calum mumbled her nickname, and although he had said it before, it felt weird coming out of his mouth now. He wasn’t sure why. Maybe because he had seen her naked and made her come, twice, and now he wasn’t sure if he could be so casual with her, but the expression on her face didn’t change, so she didn’t seem to mind. “Hi Lils. You ready to go?”

“In a second, daddy! We’re not done playing Go Fish!”

Calum smiled, but nodded his head, and let the girls finish their game. “Oh, Calum, this is my mom, Michelle. Mom, this is Calum, Lily’s dad.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Michelle.” Calum smiled a genuine smile and Michelle returned it.

“You as well, Calum. You and your daughter make my daughter very happy.”

Calum could see the blush on Natalie’s cheeks, but she didn’t make eye contact with him, and he didn’t expect her to, but Michelle’s confession shocked him. Did Natalie talk about him as much as he talked to Mali about Natalie? He only hoped.

“Your daughter makes us very happy as well.” Calum winked and Natalie’s blush deepened.

Calum couldn’t keep his eyes off of Natalie as she asked Lily for any threes in their game of Go Fish. Her smile made his smile grow and the insides of his stomach twist, but not in a bad way, no, in the best way possible. And in that moment, Calum knew that pretending nothing happened between them was the biggest mistake he could have made.

❋ ❋ ❋

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