#all my picks are basic but i cannot hide who i am inside: someone who will happily watch Creep and its sequel

[dark-side-blog3]

What are your favorite sub-genres of horror?

Psychological horror and comedic horror are my favourite sub-genres; Creep (2017), Barbarian (2022), The Watcher (2022), Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010), and Ready or Not (2019) are some of my favourite horror movies. I love Renfeild (2023) too, but that's really more of an action comedy that happens to have a vampire and gore, no matter what streaming services will try to tell you. But if a meringue is a cookie, then Renfield can be a horror flick. Just barely.

My Bloody Valentine (1987) and its reboot in 2009 with Jensen Ackles are my favourite slasher!

And of course, I'll watch some new stuff from abroad, new extremity, natural disaster horror, death games, splatter, popular new releases, or stuff that gets recommended to me, but if I'm on my own and looking for something, I'll usually pick a psych horror or a horror comedy!

[countrymusiclover]

4 - The Feast pt 2

Part 5

The Last Velaryon

Tag list @rise-my-angel @cdragons

Lord Eddard and King Robert Baratheon made their way outside of the feast hall. The laughter and loud noise could still be heard when they walked away out of earshot from others to have their conversation. Eddard paused in his steps. "You're grace, what did you wish to talk about?"

"No formalities, Ned. It's about that Velaryon girl." Robert eyed his friend.

Ned asked him. "What concerns you about her?"

"I think I might have made a mistake when I stripped Jaime of his white cloak." The king declared under his breath.

Lord Stark wasn't sure what to make of his words. "What do you mean?"

"I mean the Kingslayer doesn't seem to give a damn about her. He is hiding something. Only problem is I don't really care to find out what." He chuckled.

Ned clicked his tongue. "We cannot judge someone until we know whether they are a man of honor or not. But what does this have to do with you second guessing your own command?"

"I haven't done much research on the Velaryon house but I figured the lord would have fought against the man who basically helped me banish their house."

"If your house is close to being very small I suppose you would do anything to keep it alive." Ned pointed out.

Robert simply nodded his head. "I've been thinking about this, Ned. I am king and seven kingdoms declined loyalty to me so why not use that power to change one declaration I just wrote."

"Your grace, if you mean to go against the Lannister's I don't think that would be wise." Ned warns his friend and king.

Robert scoffs. "I don't care what they pay me not to. I am not blind Ned and I know you just saw it too. There's something between that girl and your son."

"It is a good thought, your grace. But that's all it should remain just a thought. I doubt Robb has even thought of a betrothed yet." Lord Stark shrugged his shoulders knowing his son and his young at heart nature. He was still a boy, even though he was very good at following the lessons he had been taught so far in life.

Robert moved closer to his friend, staring into his eyes with a serious expression. "You're his father. If he hasn't thought of the idea of marrying her then persuade him to. I'll deal with Tywin Lannister when the time comes."

Three years ago - Haelesa's pov

That morning I was dreading more than I care to admit to myself now. It was the day I had to say goodbye to one of my closest Joella Bridges. Picking up the ends of my nightgown I scampered through the hallways until I reached her chambers knocking three times on the door. "Joella, it's me. Open the dang door!"

"Enough with the shouting. We don't want to wake the whole castle staff. Once they're awake I'll have to start packing to leave." She shushed me by tugging me inside her room and quietly yet quickly shutting the door and locking it.

I admitted throwing my arms away from my sides. "I don't want you to leave. Why can't it be if you're lord father isn't dra yet then the man travels to live with the girl."

"I'm going to miss you too, Haelesa and Chezney too of course. But my parents already agreed to it." She opened her arms and we raced to embrace one another.

Her father had married my mother's older sister and so we we're cousins by birth. Now her father had decided to ship her off for marriage....the only real reason this happened was the tale of bettering one's house. And I had done my own research from what I could find on her soon to be new family. "You don't want to marry this man. It's claimed he has a mustache, Joella."

"Yes but I've also been told he is very cheerful." She added on slightly breaking the hug so we could see the other's face.

I made a noise sticking my tongue out to her. "It's still gross thinking you'll be kissing a guy with hair around his mouth...eww, Raynald Westerling!"

"Haelesa stop it okay. I am already nervous enough and your teasing isn't helping." Joella admitted dropping her arms at her sides.

I smiled at my cousin. "I'm just saying, Ella. You'll be kissing a guy with a full beard."

"Okay, let's change the subject. I want you to promise me something." Joella replied.

Taking her hands in mine I asked softly. "What kind of promise?"

"Promise me that even though we will be away from each other that you will tell me off your adventures. Whether they are big or small. If you find love or not. I want to know everything. So send me letters, cousin." She explained to me with that cheeky smile she always had on her face when we got to spend time together.

Squeezing her hands in mine I immediately agreed without hesitation of what she was asking. "Of course. As long as you do the same back to me.

"I promise." She hugs me gently and I wrap my arms around her hugging her with the same level of emotion.

Robb and I were still just silently walking around the abandoned courtyard of Winterfell. Everyone else was still awake enjoying the feast with the royal family. He paused in his steps outside a wooden cage canal looking at me. "I wanted to show you something."

"Show me what?" I questioned him wrapping my arms around myself and I had taken his other fur cloak that he had given earlier on the day.

He undid the locks of the pen and I gasped taking a step back seeing an animal exit the pen. The animal in front of me was a wolf from what I could by the pointy ears and the long wagging fur tail. "This is GreyWind. He is my direwolf." He responded by running his fingers through the wolf's gray coat.

"I've never seen a direwolf before. Where did you find him?" I asked, lowering myself down on a knee reaching forward and petting his fur when he sniffed my hand before I touched him.

Robb stands on the side of the direwolf. "My father had me and my brothers out hunting with him in the woods. Their mother had died and so each of the Stark children got to have their own pup. We just had to take care of them."

"Aww that's sweet. He seems like a good boy." I smiled still, moving my fingers through his fur and he began wagging his tail back and forth.

Robb smiled down at me. He had been enjoying your company from the moment you two had met. He wished he could spend more time with her. But unfortunately he figured that wouldn't get the chance. "I have trained him as best as I could. "

"You really are something, Robb. You'll make a good Lord of Winterfell one day." I praised him getting to my feet not caring about the mud stains on my dress.

He blushed but I couldn't tell how bad it was given that the only light was provided by some burning torches on the walls and the fact that it was completely dark. "You barely know me and you're already giving me praise, Haelesa. I am not sure how to take it. But thank you."

"You're welcome, Robb. Maybe if we're lucky we can know more about each other before I leave in a few days." I smiled, clasping my hands together in front of me.

Footsteps could be heard coming around the corner causing both of us to turn our heads seeing Lady Catelyn rushing over to us. I could see the annoyance in her facial expression. "Robb, you shouldn't have left the feast. This is for the royal family. Why in the seven kingdoms are you out here?"

"I'm sorry, mother. I was simply showing Lady Haelesa my direwolf." Robb apologized to his mother.

Catelyn shifted her head quickly over to me. "You're the Velaryon girl that is supposed to wed the Kingslayer."

"Yes Lady Stark I am. I am sorry if I have made any problems this evening." I bowed my head giving her a small curtsey.

She shakes her head focusing back on her first born son. "I am just here to say that your father went off with the king to talk about something. So you need to go back inside and represent your house in your father's stead."

"Of course, mother." He nodded in understanding, placing GreyWind back inside his cage. He walked past me and his mother glanced over his shoulder back at me. "I'll see you later, Haelesa."

I looked into his brown eyes waving bye to the young boy. "See you later, Robb....uh if you see my friend Chezney,  Lady Stark. Tell her I am retiring for the evening."

"Goodnight, Lady Haelesa." She responded watching me walk away and she could sense that something was between her son and the young woman.

Comments really appreciated ❤️

[hasufin]

Wind and claws

We just got back from the ER. Nothing major, fortunately. Very fortunately - this all could have been much worse. But all we needed was some antibiotics for my spouse.

The underlying problems were, we need a new door and I wanted windchimes. And that’s why one of our cats scratched my spouse’s face.

So, as I posted last week, we picked up a bell which is set up to be a windchime. I figured I’d mount it on the eave of the shed - nice and high up, gets plenty of wind as befits a heavy bell.

Now, we’ve got a lot of wind coming in over the next couple of days, so I figured I’d get the bell up there ASAP. Nothing too complicated, just two screws for the hook and then I hand the bell on it. Which, okay, was Not Fun, on account of being something like 20′ in the air. But, easy enough. Mind, it was getting pretty windy, and this is important.

Now, the other part is, we need new doors. We’ve known since we moved in, we need new doors. The doors we have are basic wood doors, not security doors, not well-insulated, and the back door does not latch. We keep it locked, and it doesn’t just pop open, but it does not latch.

You may see where this is going. I got the bell up, I head back to the house... and the back door is hanging wide open. I shake the treats, and no cats show up. They NEVER ignore the treats.

My spouse and I panic. The cats obviously saw the back door hanging open, and went out to investigate. We’re out there with flashlights (it’s now dark, of course) and are looking for them. Fortunately they didn’t get far: they were hiding under the deck. Well, Shiro was hiding under the deck, wasn’t sure about Romeo. I cannot fit under the deck, but my spouse might. They were about to try to squirm down there and grab Shiro, when I saw Romeo come back up on top of the deck.

I’m trying to entice him to get close so I can grab him when my spouse came around beside us and scruffed him. Note, my spouse is far less comfortable grabbing cats, but adrenaline is a hell of a drug.

They take said feline inside. Hearing the door open, Shiro comes up from under the deck and makes toward the door. My spouse sees him and lets him inside as well. And so, I am pleased to report, both cats are safe.

Unfortunately, Romeo in his squirming at being scruffed managed to claw my spouse right in the face. Not deep, but there was a lot of blood. Looking at it, my opinion was it wasn’t serious but might need stitches to prevent scarring. If it weren’t right in the face I’d not worry, but it was.

This was, of course, right after the prompt care clinic down the street closed. And so we went to the ER. We were first accosted by a security guard who told us to “sit in line”. But could not answer “Do we need to sign in or register?”. It turned out the registration person was away from their desk and would take care of us when they got back, but the guard was not able to tell us that.

Eventually they did arrive, we signed in. In spite of there being no bite, the ER nurses then embarked on getting us to fill out an animal bite report, which we did not intend to do both because animal bite laws are often needlessly draconian: last time I had to deal with that, it was because an idiot vet tech managed to get bit by virtue of sticking his finger in my cat’s mouth; but of course also because the report clearly said “bite” and... no one had been bit.

Eventually my spouse was seen by the ER doctor, the determination was made that stitches are not needed, and no bite report was filed. If animal control calls, no, we did not file a bite report and no one was bitten, I’m sorry officer but I cannot explain why anyone filed such a report.

And on Monday we have someone coming out to make an estimate on the doors.

[velvetcloxds]

PLEASE, CALL ME REMUS| R.L.

Pairing: Remus x fem!Reader, Remus x Student,  Teen Wolf x Hogwarts

Word count: 2466 words

Warning: student teacher relationship sort of (reader is of age, Remus is leaving Hogwarts)

Summary: When news gets out of Remus leaving Hogwarts, the reader pays him a visit in his office before he goes, revealing that she has feelings for him and asking if he feels the same.

I steal a quick glance to the other side of the hall, seeing Harry standing up slowly, cursing under his breath as he looks at me. I smile at him, mouthing an apology before turning to the already open classroom door, slipping passed the chairs and drifting up the stairs where I release a soft breath when looking up to see him packing his office into boxes.

"Professor?" I question almost inaudible, the determination I had to come here slipping away into nerves from the pure idea of his presence. He halts his actions for a sweet second, the softest whisper of a smile tugging at his lips when he notices me.

"Y/n..." He whispers, shaking his head lightly before looking up at me. "I expected you to come see me eventually." I smile, placing my hand on the doorframe as I lean into it.

"I accidently pushed Harry Potter down in order to beat him here, " He smiles, eyes meeting mine as my lips mimic his. "If he does end up saving the world, he may just let me burn." I add, with a shrug which earns a soft laugh from him as he pulls his hair from his face, my heart sinking at the clear view of his new scars.

"Come in," He tells me, gesturing towards the door. "Close it behind you." He adds and I blush lightly as I step into his office, hands lingering on the doorknob.

"You're leaving." I say, still facing the door as I take advantage of the opportunity to get a grip on myself. He breathes out softly.

"I am," He replies, faltering as I turn around to face him. "It's not a decision that I took lightly in making," He offers as a sense of reasoning and I smile sadly, eyes avoiding his as I rake them over the piles of books on his desk. "Believe me, dear Y/n, if there was another option, I would take it gladly." He adds, leaning back against his bookshelf, hands moving to his pockets.

"I know," I say, taking a small step forward towards his desk, mindlessly taking a book into my hands, skimming over the title as I feel his eyes on me. "I'll miss you," I say and move my fingers over the golden writing. "It was rather comforting having someone around just like me." He nods.

"Indeed," He takes a step forward as well, gently taking the book from my hands. "Though I'd be honest, Y/n, you are the furthest from being like me than anyone I'd yet to meet," He raises a brow when I meet his gaze. "You are far too good and far too kind to be identifying with the remainder of the lycanthrope species." I smile, wanting to drop my hand until he carefully takes it into his.

"I have to ask," I begin, attention jumping to the soft motion of his thumb moving against mine. "The feelings that I have for you, Professor," He sighs deeply as the word leaves my lips and I smile in reply. "Were they misplaced?" I question and I feel my cheeks tinting rose as I await his response.

"Never," He whispers almost urgently, eyes filling with guilt as he takes yet another step towards me. "Respectfully, miss Y/n, I'd have to confess that there was not a second of the day which you were not dwelling in my thoughts." He smiles, a blush of his own meeting his cheeks. I nod, tightening my fingers around his to savor his touch.

"Respectfully, Professor Lupin, I'd have to confess the very same," We smile, a second of silence as I desperately take his features and presence in for one last time and I hope his silence is due to him doing the same, because I put up no effort to hide my eyes traveling from feature to feature, pausing for a second as if I am making a mental note of all my favorite parts. "Will I ever see you again?" I question carefully, knowing the answer already, but hoping for the opposite anyway.

"I am not sure we will." He answers carefully, eyes falling, and shoulders slumping, and I prepare to remove my hand from his. I nod, ripping my eyes away from him when I hear footsteps stilling in front of the door.

"Bloody seventh years doing as they please. I ought to report her to Dumbledore, is what I should do." Harry's voice drifts into the silent office and I fill with disappointment knowing our time is up.

Professor Lupin smiles sadly, lifting my hand to his lips where he places a whisper of a kiss against my knuckles, his breath tickling my skin as he pulls away.

"I will miss you, Y/n," He tells me softly, knowing that Harry may hear from outside the door. "It was an absolute pleasure getting to know you." I release a shaky breath, eyes burning slightly as I bite back tears.

"Will you be okay?" I ask, allowing myself to steal a glance at his scars. "Will you be safe on your own?" I add and his entire face smiles as he looks at me.

"I have been struggling with my disease for longer than I can remember," He tells me. "I have been worse, and I'll be worse still, but me and my troubles are not your burden. I never hoped to be."

"You weren't," I say too quickly and he nods, releasing my hand to fall to my side. "If you ever find yourselves in the chaotic town of Beacon Hills, promise me you'll come see me." I plea, paying no mind to the desperation slipping from my tongue.

"I promise." He tells me as a knock sounds at the door.

"Professor?" Harry asks loudly. "Are you still in there?" I shake my head as I step away.

"Goodbye, Professor Lupin." I say and he shakes his head with a sad smile.

"Remus," He says and places the book from earlier down onto the table. "Please, call me Remus." He says and I nod.

"Goodbye Remus." I say and turn away, no longer able to control the urge to cry. I open the door quickly, Harry stepping aside when he sees me. Despite myself, I look back at Professor Lupin one more time, seeing him inch closer when he sees my tears and I shake my head, ignoring Harry's confusion as I walk away from the office and the man who somehow captured my heart, before I could break down completely.

The rest of the year passed in a blur. I remained as far from the chaos and trouble as I could, passing Professor Lupin's class a few times a day and watching as someone new interacted inside it. I could never quite explain what I felt for him. I would have called it a simple crush at first, but then again crushes very rarely share that feeling. I would have jotted in down as a case of lust, me being lonely and him being both kind and autoreactive. But all and all I decided to leave my feelings unclarified. I cared quite a lot for Remus Lupin, and I believe he cared for me as well. In different circumstances we may have had a chance for more, but I made morbid peace with the horrible fate that Hogwarts sealed for us.

"I think you're being dramatic." Stiles tells me, reaching over me to grab a fry from the plate.

"I'm not," I say taking a sip from my milkshake. "I have not known a single moment of peace since Derek Hale came into my life." I explain loudly, Derek laughing lightly from the other side of the booth and Scott simply nods. Lydia shakes her head at Stiles who steals a sip of her soda float.

"To be fair, you're still a witch, it's not like you'd be completely trouble free without Derek as your alpha." Malia says and she frowns when Scott wipes a napkin over her lip to remove some ketchup.

"Fair point," I say and lean forward. "However, I think my time at Hogwarts would've been much more enjoyable had I not been forced to tie myself up with chains in the shrieking shack every full moon." I add with a smile, laughs and nods filling the table and I sit back against the booth. Watching as they change the topic, laughing and smiling still.

But I cannot help but feel silly, the second I said it, Remus slipped into my mind. The memory of us running into each other on the first full moon he was at Hogwarts, him helping me with my chains before undergoing his own change, a protection spell keeping me hidden from his rage. I remember cleaning his wounds for the first time, checking for deep cuts and breaks. I remember the utter confusion on his face when I took some of his pain. I remember the small smile he gave me when I entered his class the next day to give him a message from Professor Snape. I remember every single smile he ever gave me; they were both rare and abundant, the real task was deciphering which were real and which were for show. I remember realizing that most of the real ones were aimed at me.

"So, I have a Hogwarts question." Stiles announces, his arm hitting mine as he turns towards me. I roll my eyes as I look up from the fries I was loosely staring at.

"You always do." I say and everyone laughs. Stiles scrunches his nose at me before leaning forward.

"How come you remained a witch after Derek bit you?" He says and Lydia nods.

"I don't know," I say with a shrug, knowing how often the question had bothered me in the past as well. "I had a friend who tried to explain it to me," I say, hoping that the table full of werewolves do not pick up on the change in my chemo signals. "He said that werewolves were basically like hybrids, half human and half wolf and seeing as I'm a witch, I'm simply half witch and half wolf."

"So, there are werewolves at Hogwarts too?" Malia asks and I nod.

"They're different though." I say and everyone looks at me for an explanation. "They can't control it like we do." I explain and fiddle with my fingers. "It's like the werewolf in them is a whole different soul without any empathy, without any concept of decency." I explain further, Stiles mocking a shiver next to me.

"It sounds awful." Lydia says and I nod, not meeting her gaze.

"It is." I say softly, Remus filling my mind again.

"Seems like you learnt a lot from your friend though." Scott notes and I nod with a smile.

"He was quite the teacher." I say and they smile in return. Derek glances at his watch and then frowns.

"It's late," He announces and takes the last sip of his soda. "We should get going, the rest of you bunch are graduating tomorrow." He explains and everyone agrees, slipping their cash onto the table as we all cover the cost and the tip.

"Are you coming?" Lydia asks and I shake my head.

"I'm going to grab another milkshake," I say and she raises a brow. "I'm good Lyds, I'll see you guys tomorrow," I smile. "Big day." I add and she nods.

"I'll be the one with the gown and the cap." She notes, leaning down to give me a quick hug before rushing to the exit where Stiles is holding the door open for her. I look out the window as I watch them all get into their cars, riding off a few minutes later into different directions. I let out a sigh.

I hate being alone, when I'm alone I always end up thinking of him.

"Butterbeer." The waiter says as he places the pitcher down in front of me. I frown.

"I'm sorry what?" I ask, looking between him and the table. There are only a few places on earth that serve butterbeer and Beacon Hills diner is not one of them.

"Butterbeer," The waiter repeats. "A guy brought it to the kitchen, said it's a inside joke or something." He explains and I sit up straight.

"What guy?" I ask as I look around the diner, the waiter joining me in the search.

"Man, he was here a second ago." He explains as my eyes catch the back of someone's head just as the diner door closes. It could not be. It could not possibly be.

"Excuse me." I say in a rush as I run to the exit, slipping my change into my pocket as I do.

The cold hits me like a wave of needles as I step into the street, the few cars scattered around me, belonging to regulars and workers and I let out a deflated sigh.

"I'm right here, miss Y/n," His voice informs me, and a shiver slowly vibrates through my entire body as I turn around to see him. His eyes almost twinkling in the shadow of the streetlight as he smiles at me from where he leans against my car. His smile grows as I stare at him blankly, my mind barely comprehending the fact that he is here, let alone here for me. He walks towards me carefully, as if he is scared to spook me. "I'm right here." He repeats, softer this time as he stills in front of me.

"Professor..." I whisper, more to myself than him as I rake my eyes over every feature of his face, checking my mental notes with the ones I made months ago when he left. He nods, gently slipping his hand into mine, lifting it to his lips like how he did in his office that day.

"Please..." He begins, lips brushing over the skin of my knuckles. "Call me Remus," I smile, a blush creeping onto my cheeks as I senselessly move towards him, brining my hand over his scarred cheek as I almost desperately connect my lips with his own. The action prompts the most intoxicating smile from him before he returns the gesture, hands respectfully moving to my waist before he nimbly pulls away. He shakes his head as we remain close, eyes copying the actions of my own a few minutes ago. "You are remarkable, Y/n." He tells me breathless, and I smile, moving my hands to the collar of his coat.

"So are you, Remus." I say and his eyes darken the slightest bit as his name slips from my lips.

"Bloody hell." He whispers, nodding to himself and looking to the side before gently forcing me into his embrace, my face nestling into his chest as his cologne consumes me.

Hi there, more of my work can be found on Wattpad under @mjoubertt. Mxx.

Masterlist 

[dracowars]

can i request an imagine im so sorry if it’s too long for your liking but could it be a pureblood slytherin reader x draco imagine where the reader and draco are dating but after some bad news from home (maybe she doesn’t have the kindest parents like draco) she distances herself from everyone and keeps zoning out and finds herself astronomy tower thinking really dark thoughts but draco has constantly been watching over her and is super worried and maybe they have an argument at the tower and draco gets stupid and says something mean or even is dumb to think to accuse her of cheating at the end in which the reader maybe either slaps him (for dramatic effect) or if that’s too much she just says it’s over between the two and she walks off and draco is shocked and tries to stop the reader but she’s already gone and she doesn’t show up to breakfast or lunch and maybe in their class they learn about the boggart again and since they’re older their fears have changed and maybe the reader isn’t paying attention and she’s brought up to test her boggart and it’s draco saying those same things and maybe her parents come out as well and it’s essentially that draco’s unkind words are her fear because it’s the last straw for her until everything breaks because she was holding onto him and she runs out of class and class is dismissed because no one wants to go after that and the reader skips dinner and can be found in moaning myrtles bathroom having a panic attack and she gets really frustrated and hits the the sink really hard to feel something and you can hear myrtle begging the reader to stop and maybe someone sees her and runs to draco to get help but draco runs to the bathroom she’s not there anymore and he finds her at the astronomy tower feeling numb and he overhears her talking to herself and it ends in fluff because he can’t lose her and he figures out it’s probably her parents pressuring her too much again and he can relate because of his and they get back together and it’s just really fluffy at the end maybe they sneak in the kitchen for a quick minute dinner since the reader didn’t eat and draco has to be really kind to the elves heheh

darkness | draco malfoy

pairing: draco x slytherin!reader

word count: 3,1k

summary: where y/n's parents make her life a living hell and draco doesn't really help

a/n: normally i do not write about things like this but i actually really liked the request so i wrote it anyway. i don't mean to offend anyone with this if i misrepresented something, i did my best to get familiar with the topic <3

warnings: angst, major mental health issues including dark thoughts and self-doubt, hints of su*c*de, mentions of blood, cursing, very sensitive topics in general

universe: harry potter

The cold wind blows through your hair and makes it swirl around the air and into your face, goosebumps spreading all over your body at the sudden coldness. To prevent your hair from flying around, you tame your hair with a hair tie, your gaze fixed straight ahead while your face is illuminated by the setting sun.

You really missed this place during the holidays. The astronomy tower.

Whenever you are stressed from doing a lot of homework or studying in general, this is the place you can hust go to and are somehow always able to relax. The view is breathtaking and you love to watch the sun - or the moon, depening on what time of the day you find yourself up here - shine.

And this special place also gives you the security that you so urgently needed.

The winter holidays were a living hell for you. You have extremely strict parents who see a great importance in your education, but that is basically the only thing that interests them about you. That you bring honor to your pureblood family. That they can proudly show you off to other pureblood families even though they know nothing about you and who you really are.

Until recently they did not even know that you are in a relationship. Unfortunately, one thing led to another and they found it out by an unlucky coincidence which consisted of them picking you up at platform 9¾ for the very first time since you have been at Hogwarts. There they saw you with a platinum haired boy, kissing.

This boy turned out to be Draco Malfoy, the son of the pureblood Malfoy family, who you parents cannot stand at all. To put it in other words, they loathe each other to death and that for probably no reason, at least you have not been able to figure it out yet.

So of course they were not very thrilled that you are in a relationship with a Malfoy, which they showed you straight away. They locked you inside of your room at home because you had to 'think about your actions and their consequences'.

However, when they realized that their behavior would not change anything, they began to put you down. They threw the worst swear words at you, wanted to force you to break up with him and told you what a terrible shame you are for your family. That Draco could never love you and that you are ugly, cheap and overall useless. That is how it went on for your whole vacation.

Your parents always treated you this way, it was not new to you. Nevertheless it hurts every time, even if you try to hide it. You would rather keep all the pain inside of you than to tell others about it, because they are not able to help you anyway. Unfortunately, you did the math without your boyfriend.

This morning at the Central Station of London, Draco immediately saw that you were not feeling well. Any attempts to get you to tell him what is going on with you had been useless though so he left you alone at some point, but you still noticed how he kept staring at you for the whole train ride to Hogwarts.

You would love to tell him, tell him about everything, but something inside of you is stopping you from doing so. An invisible barrier inside of your head, probably fear, that you simply cannot overcome. You know that Draco's parents are pretty similar to yours, but still you just cannot manage to talk to him and you notice how it slowly but surely destroys your deep bond with one another.

Continuing to look into the distance and watch the clouds encircle the beautiful setting sun, which colors the sky in reddish colors, your thoughts suddenly wander to gloomy places. Dark places where you usually only go to when you are locked inside of your own room at home.

But now they are even attacking you at your safest place.

You perfectly know yourself that you are not good enough for Draco. You do not deserve this incredibly great person as your boyfriend. You do not even deserve him as a best friend, no, you do not deserve him at all. You are worthless and for him you are nothing more than one girl out of many.

And still you keep on being selfish and do not end it.

Completely lost in your own dark thoughts, you do not even notice at first how the tears are already streaming down your cheeks like waterfalls. Sniffling, you rub your eyes, smeer your discreetly applied mascara, and wipe the tears from your face.

"Why am I still doing this to myself?", you sob and lower your head, looking deep down at the grounds of Hogwarts. The tears that are enriched with pain flow out of your eyes and fall into the dark depths, causing you to slowly close your eyes.

The sudden mention of your name from behind you makes you abruptly breathe out in shock and your head jumps up as you turn around. Your eyes lock with the gray, sparkling eyes of your boyfriend, who is currently looking at you with pity.

"W-What are you doing here, Draco?", you sniff and wrap your arms around your body in an attempt to hide from him so he does not have to look at you.

"Why are you crying?", he asks, ignoring your question, and before you can realize, he is already standing right in front of you and gently places his hands on your tear stained, puffy cheeks. Gently wiping away your tears with his thumb, he searches your eyes for answers that can explain your current terrible condition. He cannot bear to see you like this, so fragile and deeply hurt.

Whatever happened, he will make sure you know that he is and always will be here for you. And he will not let, whatever it is, continue to hurt you so badly.

"If you do not tell me, then I cannot help you", he softly whispers and brushes the strands of hair behind your ear that have escaped from your ponytail in the wind and then carefully lifts your head so you have to look him in the eyes.

"It's nothing", are the only words you get out, your throat thightening, but all you would like to do is to just finally tell him about everything.

"Do you even realize how worried I am about you, Y/N?! It is killing me!", Draco suddenly raises his voice at you, causing you to flinch and take a step back, your back now touching the railing. Noticing the power of his words, he sighs and looks to the ground in shame.

Your head processes his facial expression and his gestures and again makes you believe that his sadness is your fault. By not being able to control your stupid feelings, you hurt him.

"I-I really have to go", you stutter out and quickly run past him, pressing your coat around your body.

"Have fun with Blaise then", you hear him say and you abruptly stop in your motion. Not fully understanding the words he just said, you turn to him.

"What?", you ask with not more than a breath coming out, hurt evident in your expression as he suddenly stomps in your direction furiously, a disgusted look on his face while he looks into your eyes.

"Don't act stupid now, Y/N! You hardly speak a word to me anymore, you avoid body contact, you are totally dismissive in general and you can't even look at me anymore! Why do you not just admit that you are cheating on me?!", Draco accuses you out of nowhere, not knowing what he is even saying himself, and you could swear that at this very moment your heart has finally burst into a thousand splinters and your last hold has now completely disappeared.

Losing the control over your body for a second, your hand lands on his cheek with full force. There is a dead silence before you just turn and leave, leaving him behind on the astronomy tower. You can hear him say your name after you, but you block it out and run down the stairs, crying, your vision blurred.

Missing one of the last stairs in your hurry, you fall down onto the cold floor. You get up again as quickly as possible when you hear steps behind you and you run. You run for your life while you disappear into the endless corridors of Hogwarts, making your way to your dorm.

The next morning your eyelids stick together from all the crying and you have a aching headache. You did not close one eye that night and just laid there crying in your bed silently until at some point there were no more tears.

In front of the door of your prefect dorm room, you can hear how the other students are leaving your house on their way to breakfast, but your stomach makes a flip when you only think about food. That is the reason why you decide to stay in your warm, safe and comfortable bed a little longer and to skip breakfast, which is unnecessary anyway. Avoiding other people seems like the best idea for you right now.

Just in time for the beginning of your first lesson of the long day, you made it out of your bed and are now sitting in Defence Against the Dark Arts with Professor Snape.

Your thoughts are whirling around in your head and you do not understand a single word Snape is saying in front of the class, even if you are really trying your best to understand him. Furthermore does it not help your concentration that you see how Draco keeps staring at you from across the room out of the corner of your eye. However, you do not have enough strength for this anymore after a while and therefore focus your gaze out the window at the rising sun.

At least you are distracted until all of the students get up from their seats all of a sudden and you only watch them confused until you notice that they are only waiting for you to join them and you quickly walk, almost stumbling, to them. Ignoring the looks and laughter of everyone, you play around with the hem of your grey Slytherin sweater and ignore them while doing so.

"Well then, let us begin. Ms. Y/L/N, would you please do us the honor and start", Snape clears his throat as you look at him in shock, noticing by the expression on his face that he definetely knows that you did not listen to him at all and have not been present with your mind.

Since you do not have a chance to defy yourself anyway, you nod and go to the position he points at in front of an old, dusty closet. With confusion all over your face, you switch between looking at Professor Snape and the cabinet as he suddenly opens the door and you take a big step back, startled to death.

"Have fun with Blaise then", Draco spits in your face disparagingly and is now slowly walking towards you after stepping out of the cupboard, increasing your pulse. The tears find their way back into your eyes right away while you just keep looking at him petrified, frozen in your spot.

"Why do you not just admit that you are cheating on me?!", he yells at you again and your vision becomes more and more blurred, your ears start to beep while he shouts at you, bringing back the painful memories of yesterday.

"No! Please don't leave me, Draco!"

It is like you are back on the astronomy tower again, your hair blowing in the wind as he steps towards you. In the next moment he is gone all of a sudden and instead of him, two other people are now in front of you.

"You are a shame for our whole family, you stupid brat", your father insults you and you fall onto your knees, holding your hands against your head in pain.

"Stop it! Please!", you beg them, but of course they do not stop, they only make their words worse.

"Draco can never seriously love someone like you. I mean, look at you! You are less worthy than dirt", your father tells you and your entire body is now trembling when you finally see a black cloak in front of your eyes and your parents vanish into thin air.

"Please stay with me", you choke through your tears, words addressed to Draco who had to watch the scene in front of him with pure horror in his eyes.

Breathing heavily, you look up at Professor Snape, who looks at you in disbelief, but as your eyes wander around the room to see everyone staring at you, your legs automatically carry you out of the classroom in the next moment, unable to bear their burning glances.

You run down the empty corridor with a faint vision in search of a safe place to hide until you arrive at one of the girls' bathrooms and rush in, not thinking about someone possibly being in there.

Slamming the door shut behind you, you stumble to the sinks with trembling knees and support all of your weight with your hands on either side of one sink as your legs fail beneath you. Clinging to the edge of the sink, you cry bitterly. The cold walls of the bathroom echo your crying several times, allowing you to hear your own pain.

"What is wrong, Y/N?", you hear a soft voice next to your ear and when you look up it is none other than Myrtle. Apparently of all places you ended up in her bathroom and are not as alone as you wished for.

"I am fine", you say with a monotonous voice, forcing yourself into an upright position, but literally everyone would see that you are definetely not fine, even a ghost.

"Y/N. You look anything but okay. Can I somehow help you-"

"Just leave me alone!", you angrily yell at her and lose control of your body, only seeing a thick, red substance running over your hand when it is already too late. Broken pieces of glass lie around you on the floor, which flew through the air when your fist hit them and inflicted small wounds on your face.

"You need to stop, Y/N!", Myrtle commands, but you do not listen and let yourself fall onto the floor, kicking your foot against the sink and thereby unintentionally loosen one of the old pipes. The sound of flowing water fills the room, surrounding your body on the floor.

On the edge of passing out, you lie in the cold water and stare at the ceiling while Myrtle has disappeared without a trace.

What you do not know, however, is that Myrtle is already on her way to find help and comes across Draco, who is running back and forth through the hallways while searching for you.

It takes Draco a moment to understand Myrtle's fast explanation, but when he does he runs into the direction of the girls' bathroom without hesitation. He rushes through the door into the flooded bathroom and all he sees is the broken mirror and the slightly reddish puddles in the water.

But he does not find you in there and realizes that there can only be one place where you could be.

Walking through the corridors of Hogwarts at lightning speed, he finally reaches the staircase leading to the astronomy tower and goes them up in no time. Once he arrives at the top, he abruptly stops when you come into his field of vision.

There you are, completely broken, leaning your head against the railing, your knees closely drawn to your body while your painful crys echo through his ears.

"Why did you not listen to your parents, you disgusting piece of daughter", you talk to yourself, not noticing that you are not alone any longer. With your already injured hand you hit the pole of the railing once, immediately regretting it as the pain spreads through your body.

However, your gaze lands on a person standing directly ahead and your eyes widen, but unfortunately you lack the strength to stand up, to yell at him, or to resist as he slowly sits down next to you.

Neither of you say a word, but it does not take long before he gently takes you into his strong arms, providing you with the support you needed so badly, so you can cry while he strokes over your hair. He whispers repentances in your ear over and over again. That he regrets his words, that he takes them back and that he was such an idiot.

"You are so wonderful", he confirms and gives you a kiss on the forhead, careful not to scare you away, continuing to stroke your upper arm with his hand.

"Do not believe in what your parents told you, angel. I will stay with you", he shakily breathes and has to pull himself together to not let a tear slip out of his eyes at any moment. "I am sorry that I let you down."

His last few words pull a trigger inside of your head and suddenly everything pours out of your mouth at once. Your fears, your worries. Everything your parents ever said or did to you. You finally tell him about all of it now, even though you should have done it much earlier.

"I love you more than anything, Y/N. You are my world and the reason I live. Never let anyone make you think that I do not love or deserve you, especially not your parents", Draco explains to you sincerely as you stare at him, exhausted but happy.

You slowly put your head on his shoulder and close your eyes, letting the good and bright drown out all of your dark and bad thoughts. Meanwhile, Draco carefully examines your injured hand before scooping you up into his arms while standing up.

"No matter how much you hate me right now, you have to eat something", he tells you, but you do not answer and just enjoy his close presence while you wrap your arms tightly around his neck, letting him carry you away.

If he had known how terrible you were feeling earlier, he would have done something much sooner. He should have been more pushy and not let you get away with a simple 'i am fine'. But now that he knows, he definetely learned from it.

And Draco would have never forgiven himself if he had let you just go like that.

[let-it-raines]

I Hope We Never See October (5/?)

When his personal life and football career go up in flames, Killian Jones escapes England for America, finding seclusion in Martha’s Vineyard in order to hide from his demons. It’s a fresh start, or at the very least a paused moment in his life, and all he needs is a few months alone to allow his heart to heal. He doesn’t count on meeting Emma Swan.

Emma’s life depends on tourists who come to the island every summer. It’s how she makes her money working in restaurants and clubs across the vineyard, but every year, she cannot wait until autumn comes and her life returns to normal. She especially cannot wait for Killian Jones to leave.

Rating: Mature

ao3 : beginning | current

tumblr: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |

-/-

Emma likes seafood.

She likes seafood, but she mostly eats like a ten-year-old boy. Apparently, there’s a little place near her house called Granny’s where she devours grilled cheese and onion rings like arteries aren’t a thing. It makes him laugh when she tells him because she eats how he’s always dreamed of eating. The only time he ever gets the chance is when he’s with his nieces and they convince him to get them food Elsa and Liam never let them get.

She also likes 80’s music, has been working at the Blue Dog for over half a decade, prefers her kickboxing classes to cycling ones, and her favorite color is blue.

That last one was a bit of a throwaway question, but he asked it anyway. Then, of course, he made sure to let her know that his eyes were blue. He got an eye roll and a ‘shut up’ for that before she started rolling her hips again. It was damn distracting, but he didn’t stop laughing at how frustrated she was that he wasted his one personal question a day on that.

One personal question a day.

It’s childish, but he thinks it works. It keeps the line between them defined. He knows what this is, has done it enough times before to not be blind to it. They’re both visitors in each other’s lives. They have expiration dates, and when there’s an expiration date, there’s no harm in spending time together.

There’s no commitment, so there’s no hurt.

He’s not an expert on Emma Swan, no matter how much she fascinates him, but he gets the feeling she’s avoiding relationships just as much as he is. There is a past hurt there, a damned painful one, and if anyone gets that, it’s him.

But he doesn’t ask about that in his one question a day. He asks for her favorite color and food and if she’d rather hike uphill for 10 miles or swim for 20.

For the record, she’d rather hike because she could sit down and eat along the way.

“Would you look at that?” Emma says as she runs her hands under the water of the sink at the bar. “You, sitting at this bar, again.”

He slices his salmon with his knife and grins. “I tried that Granny’s place, but the food had too much grease. Met a rather charming waitress, though.”

“Let me guess. Red streak in her hair, boobs on full display, argued with the owner the entire time?”

“How’d you know?”

“Because that’s Ruby, my best friend.”

“Is she now?” he asks, already knowing the answer.

“Is that your personal question of the day?”

“Nope,” he says, taking a bite of his food. “I’m saving that for a later time.”

“A later time,” Emma repeats, like she’s considering the words. She crosses her arms over her chest and leans back against the bar. “What makes you think you’re going to be seeing me at a later time? This isn’t enough for you?”

He looks around them and leans closer to her. “Too many clothes.”

Emma laughs, legitimately, and that feels surprisingly good. “I’m literally in a tank top and shorts. That’s about as dressed down as you can get.”

“I was talking about myself, actually. There are too many clothes on me, but it’s nice to know you think so highly of yourself.”

That gets him another laugh and a shake of her head, and he likes that too. He may have no real inclination to become overly attached to her, but he can at least admit to himself that he enjoys her company.

“Shut up.” Someone calls Emma’s name from across the restaurant, and she holds her arm up, putting up one finger. “I get off at The Oaks at eleven. I’ll drop by your place if I’m not too tired.”

“Why the hell are you working there so much?”

“I like the money. And, Jones, that counts as your personal question of the day. I’ll see you later...maybe.”

She grins and winks before walking away, and he swears she puts a little extra sway in her hips. Killian shakes his head as he feels his own smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

“What a bloody woman,” he whispers to himself before spearing another piece of his salmon.

-/-

“Right there,” she moans. “Like, seriously, right there. Don’t fucking change anything.”

Kilian smiles against her, but he’s quick to return to what he was doing. Emma’s legs tighten over his shoulders, her hands yank at the sheets, and as much as he is throbbing right now, it’s bloody glorious to have her like this. The filter is gone, so too are the reservations, and he gets a bit of satisfaction knowing this is him doing this to her.

His only skills aren’t on the football pitch after all.

He is definitely a bastard for thinking that right now, but he’s never claimed to be otherwise.

“Fuck,” Emma huffs after she comes down from her high. Her legs shiver over his shoulder, thighs tightening so all the sounds fade for a moment, but then her legs fall and all sounds come back in screaming color. “What did I do to deserve that so early in the morning?”

“It’s ten, love.”

“Yeah, that’s early on my day off.”

Killian laughs and kisses the inside of Emma’s thigh before making his way up her body, planting a final one underneath her collarbone before he collapses on his side of the bed and pulls the sheets above his waist.

“It’s not early for the rest of the world.” He smiles, which she doesn’t appreciate, and she sinks further into the bed, yanking the covers over her. He can still see her flushed cheeks and the slightest content smile on her face. “You should try it sometime. See the sunrise, dodge early morning joggers, eat breakfast at a normal time.”

“Trust me, I’m usually up early enough to want to drive into the early morning joggers while I have a Pop Tart hanging out of my mouth. My summer schedule is just...it’s different than usual.”

He has questions about that. It’s something she’s alluded to before, but he doesn’t know if she’ll count that as his question of a day.

He’s thirty-five years old, and he doesn’t know if he can ask the woman he’s sleeping with more than one question about her life. He knows he’s fucked up a lot, but this seems to be the culmination of several screw ups in his own life.

He doesn’t have time to dwell on that. Well, no, he has all the time in the world, but lately, the boredom has dissipated, the loneliness too.

Lately, he’s got a damn good distraction, and he’s not about to fuck that up.

Emma flips over on her side, her hair a wild, curly mess. She used his pool last night and didn’t wash her hair after. It’s made it even crazier than usual. He thinks he likes it. Makes her seem less reserved.

His phone rings on his bedside table, and he leans over to pick it up.

“Hello, darling.” Emma’s brow raises, but he ignores her. “How are you?”

“Good,” Elsa says. “We’re all good. The girls are in the garden right now, running around and getting all their energy out. I haven’t heard from you in a few days.”

“I’ve been...busy.”

Emma’s hand finds his thigh, and his leg jumps before steadying. She is not about to do what he thinks she’s about to do. Bloody hell.

“Busy?” Elsa asks, as Emma’s hand walks a little closer to his groin. “Doing what? Have you made friends?”

“Why do you always ask me that like I’m a child?”

“Because you’re basically my baby brother.” Killian laughs and then hisses as Emma’s hand wraps around him. She smirks, obviously satisfied with herself, and he knows she’s doing it for the reaction above anything else.

Tease.

He doesn’t mind.

Except this is a poor idea.

“I believe I’m actually older than you.”

“Semantics.”

He laughs again, and Emma’s hand starts working a little more. Fuck. He needs her to stop, and even though she’s doing delicious things to him, she is looking away, acting as bored as can be. And maybe she is, but then he sees one corner of her mouth tick up.

“Mum, is that Killian?” he hears Ally ask, echoed by a squeal from Sophia, who is obviously having the time of her life. There’s a bit of a shuffle, some muted voices, and then his niece’s voice comes through. “When are you coming home?”

“Hello, Ally,” he says, his voice going high when Emma moves her thumb. “How is one of my favorite nieces doing?”

Emma immediately stops and yanks her hand away, practically falling off the bed. She catches herself and kicks up, moving the comforter up and nearly pulling it off him.

“What the actual fuck?” she whispers hisses, slapping him.

He ignores her as Ally asks again when he’s coming home.

“At the end of September, sweetheart,” he promises. “I’ll come home, and then I am going to kiss you right on the cheek.”

“Ew,” she complains, and he can imagine her nose scrunching.

“I also might give you a present.”

“I like that better.”

“Good. I thought you would.” he watches Emma get up and pull a t-shirt out of a drawer. It’s an old Man. United shirt, and he pretends that doesn’t do a damn thing to him, especially since she was just working him up a minute ago. “Listen, Ally, darling, will you hand the phone to your mum? I - ”

“Sophia, that is my hat! Do not wear it!”

And then the line goes dead, and he wonders how long it’ll be before Elsa gets back to her phone and calls him back.

“You let me do that to you while you were on the phone with your niece?” Emma mumbles, pulling the shirt down then pulling her hair into a mess of a knot on the top of her head. He’s not sure if she’s annoyed or amused. “I hate you.”

“Technically, at first it was my sister-in-law,” he corrects, tapping his head.

“That doesn’t make it any better.” Emma gets back in the bed, pulling the comforter all the way up to her chin, and then she shuffles a little further into the bed before sitting up against the headboard and groaning into her hands. “I am mortified.”

“I did stop you when Ally took the phone,” he points out before pulling at the arm of her shirt. “Nice shirt.”

Killian stands from the bed and walks toward his bathroom, grabbing his briefs along the way. “It’s comfortable,” Emma says. “Is this the team you played for?”

Killian stops, the tile cool against his feet, and then keeps moving, leaving the door cracked as he gets half dressed and starts brushing his teeth. As good as it was a few minutes ago, the mood is gone.

Especially now.

How the hell does she know he used to play football? And how long has she known that? Is that why...no, that couldn’t be why, but he knows that’s why a lot of women have.

“A long time ago,” he says, spitting out toothpaste. “I was with Chelsea when I retired.”

“Is that another team?”

“Uh, yeah,” he laughs, continuing to brush his teeth but sticking his head out of his bathroom door. “You didn’t know that?”

Emma shrugs as she types on her phone. “I don’t know anything about soccer. I only know you played because Ruby internet stalked you a few weeks ago and showed me your Instagram. I literally thought you were just one of those adults who is really into his hobbies.”

Killian nearly lets out a sigh, but he stops himself and turns back around to the sink to spit again before rinsing his brush. He looks up at the mirror. His hair is disheveled, there are lines around his eyes and on his forehead, and his stubble is growing to the point where a beard is beginning to form. He’ll shave later.

So Emma doesn’t know anything about football then. Or him, for that matter. He’s not sure he entirely believes her, that she didn’t look up any more about him, and he doesn’t like that uncertainty. Usually, when he meets someone, they have the upper hand and know the surface layer of all the dirty details of his life.

They usually don’t care to find out the real stories. Not that most of them redeem him in any way.

“Not a hobby,” he says, taming his hair with his hands. “It was a damn good job.” He leaves the bathroom and leans against the doorframe. “You ever play?”

She laughs and puts her phone down. “No.”

“Not even as a kid? Come on. I hear every lass in America plays as a kid.”

“Is that your question of the day?”

Damn. “No.” Killian walks toward the bed and puts his hands on either side of Emma’s head on the headboard, leaning in close. He sees her chest rise, and he smirks. “My question is to ask you to stay in bed with me all day. What do you say, Swan?”

She sits up, and her lips lightly brush against his mouth when she talks. “You should have asked me about the soccer because I was already planning on staying here the entire day.”

“Really now?”

“If we can get crepes delivered from this place that’s, like, ten minutes from here.”

Killian kisses her, long and slow until there’s heat simmering low in his belly. “As you wish.”

-/-

Emma doesn’t come over every night. Nor does he go to her place. But it seems that way as July rolls by, full of hot days that seem to linger forever. Killian finds himself busy during the days. Emma usually has work early in the mornings, so if she’s staying over, she leaves before eight. He doesn’t know how she has time to breathe working at both the Tavern and The Oaks, but she makes it work. When she leaves, he gets up and uses the gym in the basement of the house, going through his tried and true routines before he laces up his trainers and either runs on the beach or on the sidewalks through his little area of the vineyard. He finds the sidewalks are better for his knees, so he tends to stick with that and leaves walking on the beach for his afternoon phone calls with Elsa and the girls or Ariel and Eric.

It’s a routine, one that changes during the day, but for the first time since he got here, he doesn’t hate every damn day. He doesn’t spend his time actively having to try not drink or thinking about Liam or football. He practically buys out a local bookstore and goes through the novels faster than he has in years. He visits different restaurants, museums, goes along with some tourist activities he finds online, and he explores any shop that strikes his fancy.

And while his routine changes, there is one constant: he eats a meal at the Blue Dog Tavern.

At first, he thought Emma would kick him out for it, but now, she often comes and sits with him for a few minutes or sends him a drink from her office. He always sits in Ashley’s section and lets her talk about her growing belly even if he knows little about pregnancy, and he spends at least an hour eating and watching all the people around him.

It’s a hell of a lot better than the twenty-four-hour diners with sticky floors and bad coffee.

Killian shoves his keys in his pocket and pushes open the door to the Blue Dog. Marina greets him, telling him to seat himself anywhere in Ashely’s section, so he goes to his favorite booth and settles down. He can’t see the television from it, so it’s the perfect spot to completely escape from the world with no risk of his past showing up right before his eyes.

He may be feeling better, may be able to have a drink or too at night without wanting to have five more, but he knows he’s possibly only one bad day from it all coming undone, the thread unraveling faster than he can wind it back up.

“Tea or coffee today, Killian?” Ashley asks, notepad in hand.

“Tea, I think, but not the blasted stuff you gave me last time.”

She laughs and writes down his drink order. “Do you know what you want to eat already or should I come back?”

He hands her the menu. “The daily special and a side salad.”

“Perfect. I’ll be back with that as soon as possible.”

“No need to rush,” he says, smiling. “Is - ”

“She’s filling out orders for next week, but I’ll let her know you’re here.”

Ashley winks before walking away, and Killian wonders what the hell everyone in this restaurant thinks of him and Emma. It must be peculiar, but if he’s picked up anything from Emma, it’s that she likely doesn’t share much about her personal life with her employees. She surely won’t tell him that he’s the man she’s sleeping with for the summer, but they might pick up on that on their own.

The food here is good, but it’s not every day good.

He’s finished his salad and half of his sandwich when she comes out from the back. Today, she’s already in the black dress she wears to The Oaks, and her hair is pushed back into a ponytail. She looks exhausted, and unfortunately, the reason has nothing to do with him.

“I only have a second to say hi,” she says, sliding into the booth and grabbing a roll from the basket, breaking off a piece and popping it into her mouth. “We are having an issue with our fish orders, and it’s an absolute nightmare.”

“That sounds like I won’t be ordering any fish this week.”

Emma takes another bite of her bread. “I wouldn’t if I were you. Do you want to come to my place tonight? I’m off at ten.”

“Sure.” He picks at the bread on his sandwich. “Though, the last time I was at your place, that damn crab pillow ended up in the bed, and I didn’t appreciate that.”

Her nose scrunches with her laugh. “I hate that thing too, but Ariel loves it.”

“You live in that house the entire year. Why don’t you redecorate it for your taste?”

Her shoulders tense, and she stops chewing before slowly starting again. He already knows this is going to be his personal question of the day. Sometimes she forgets about it and lets the conversation flow freely, but when he hits a nerve, she’s more on her guard.

He gets it. He can be the same way.

“Personal question,” she says, and he knows her better than he should. “And I’ve redone my bedroom and little bits in the kitchen and living room, but I don’t know. I guess I keep it how the Fishers have it because it’s their home. There are memories there, and I don’t want to take any of those away for when I do eventually get another place. It’s....it’s good to have a family home with memories.”

Killian arches his brow, but Emma looks away, picking at the roll again. He never really had a family home, not after his mum died and his dad became obsessed with using Killian’s football skills for his own fortune, but he likes that sentiment.

A family home with memories. Good ones. That would be the dream.

“What about you?” she asks, changing the subject before he can press further. “Aren’t you excited to get back to your place where all the stuff is yours? You’re living in a place that’s not your own, so I’m sure you’re ready to get back to your family.”

She doesn’t mean anything by it, but her words cut. He’s here because he lost the one person in his family who he was closest to, but he doesn’t want to talk about that, not now. This is supposed to be a good time. It isn’t supposed to be about dark histories.

“I’m enjoying my time here,” he answers honestly. “There’s this woman who is an absolute spitfire, and she’s been occupying most of my time. I’ve been, well, metaphorically tied up in bed too much to think of returning home.”

“Ha, ha,” she monotones with a roll of her eyes. “That’s not what I - ”

“Hi!”

They both turn, and Emma’s friend Mary Margaret is standing there, bouncing back and forth on her toes. “Hi, Marg,” Emma says. “You’re early.”

“I know. I got finished tutoring early, so I thought I’d drop by. I didn’t know you’d have...other company.”

“Nice to see you again,” Killian says, nodding at Mary Margaret.

“Yeah, nice to see you.” Mary Margaret seems hesitant, like she didn’t meet him weeks ago at dinner, and he wonders just how much she knows about his arrangement with Emma. From what he’s learned, they seem close, but he also knows Ruby is Emma’s more...accepting friend. “How are you?”

“I’m good, love. Just badgering Emma at work. I’m surprised she hasn’t kicked me out yet.”

“Annoy me a little too much, and I will.” Her ankle hooks with his under the table, and Killian bites his lip to keep from smiling too much. “So, what’s up, Marg? Why’d you want to drop by? Have you heard of this thing called phones?”

Mary Margaret chuckles before sliding into the booth next to Emma. Emma’s ankle unhooks from his, and he tucks his feet under the booth. “So, you know how David wants to have that big barbecue for all of our friends and neighbors?”

“Yeah, you guys do it every year because you’re insane.”

“Anyway,” she says, playfully rolling her eyes, “we were wondering if we could get the Blue Dog to cater some of the sides. I know you guys don’t cater, but we could pay extra. Please.”

“You do know there are restaurants who do cater who could handle this?”

“Yes, but we love the food here. Killian gets it, right?”

“Uh, yes,” he mumbles, not sure what he’s supposed to say. From Emma’s death glare, he knows he’s chosen incorrectly. Bloody hell. “I love it.”

“Exactly,” Mary Margaret says. “We’ll pay extra. Promise. In tips so the staff can get it instead of the owners.”

Emma sighs and sinks into the booth, crossing her arms over her chest. “I need to know the order at least two weeks ahead of time, and it’s going to take me some time to figure out how much you guys need to pay.”

“Ahhhh, perfect!” Mary Margaret hugs Emma before sliding out of the booth. “You’re the best! I can’t wait to call David! Oh, and Killian, you should come too. It’s on August 14th. We’d love to have you there.”

Killian scratches his ear and nods, flashing her a tight smile. He doesn’t think Emma would welcome him at a party full of her friends, so he doesn’t want to make her uncomfortable no matter how nice it might be to be in a large group of people.

“He’ll be there,” Emma says, surprising him, and he feels her toe tap his shin. “If he can make it, of course. You know, he has a very busy social calendar.”

“I wonder why that is, darling.” He winks, making Emma smile, and he taps his toes into hers right back. “I’ve heard you keep pretty busy as well.”

Emma’s mouth gapes before closing, and her green eyes widen, lashes nearly hitting against her brows. “Ass.”

“Well, I know you like - ”

“Okay.” Mary Margaret claps her hands together. “I’ve got to go. Emma, I’ll send you the menu after I talk to David tonight. And Killian, we really would love to have you there.”

“I’ll see,” he says as he fights to keep from smiling too widely. “May I recommend the cheddar bites for the menu. They’ll kill you, but you’ll enjoy it.”

“I have never once seen you get the cheddar bites,” Emma scoffs.

He leans over the table, pressing his chin in his hand and smirking the way he knows she likes. She tells him he’s obnoxious when he does it, but sometimes he can see past that hard shell exterior. “I’m full of surprises, darling.”

“That you are, Jones. That you are.”

-/-

-/-

Tag list: @qualitycoffeethings @marrtinski @klynn-stormz @scarletslippers @elizabeethan @jrob64 @snowbellewells @therealstartraveller776 @thejollyroger-writer @galadriel26 @galaxyzxstark @idristardis @karenfrommisthaven @teamhook @spartanguard @searchingwardrobes @jamif @shireness-says @ultimiflos @onepunintendid @bluewildcatfanatic @superchocovian @killianswannn @carpedzem @captainkillianswanjones @mayquita @mariakov81 @jennjenn615 @onceuponaprincessworld @a-faekindagirl @scientificapricot @xellewoods @ultraluckycatnd @stahlop @kmomof4 @tiganasummertree @singersdd @tornadoamy @cluttermind @lfh1226-linda @andiirivera @itsfabianadocarmo @captain-emmajones @ilovemesomekillianjones @taylrsversion​ @dramioneswan​ @jonesfandomfanatic​ @wefoundloveunderthelight

[madame-mimsy]

Theory Behind the Reward Tier Levels in Janus’ Corridor.

Has someone done this, already? Probably. But nothing says mental exhaustion like procrastinating on schoolwork by over analyzing the levels of tiers in Janus’ Corridor of Stored Rewards.

So with the release of the amazing art by James von Hollen (@ignoreitforever on Instagram) of each of the tiers (and the honestly delightfully terrifying images of Janus ripping through a wall like the Shining), I’ve had some thoughts on what the levels mean in relation to them because I am a Fander and we cannot leave well enough alone gdi.

See, at first I liked the idea going around that Janus was just giving tiers based on people he liked, as he’s stated that he prefers Remus over the others in livestreams. But the thing is, he obviously does NOT like Virgil, so that doesn’t quite fit to me. And the idea that it’s just giving preferential treatment to the Dark Sides made sense to me, until the new images came out and we had padlocks galore.

Instead, my theory is that each tier is based on how deep into the secrets he’s promised in his Corridor you go. The further along the more he WANTS to keep them secret, and thus the more money it takes, meta-wise, to pry those secrets loose, and why there is no Janus level tier. There’s no way he’d want to reveal everything he knows, no matter the amount. He (Janus) even got downright angry when people tried bugging him for spoilers in streams.

So instead he has the tiers listed by how willing he is to make that Side “public” or not. (Longwinded theory under the cut)

So first we have the Logan tier: the Federal Education Budget 

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From the Snake’s Own Mouth:

“Ohhh, so you decided to share with us? Then, I suppose I can share with you.”

Honestly, this startled me because of the fact that it looks so arcane and mystical, which doesn’t match how I imagine Logan at all. My friend @onnastik​ pointed out that the creature on the right, surrounded by sigils, is the demon Baur, who among other things is said to “teach natural and moral philosophy, (and) logic...” which fits the bill pretty perfectly. 

Speaking of a bill, the name for the tier fits Logan perfectly, too, to me. The Federal Education Budget is not only the budget used in the American system to make sure kids have free education until the highschool level, but is also part of the college loan system. It signifies public education, and that’s why I feel that Logan is the lowest, and thus most accessible, tier. Janus considers him bland, safe for public consumption, and maybe even wants to put up a front of logical intelligence first and foremost, to make even the broadest view of Thomas seem as intelligent as possible. 

And look at how much the basic tier gives! That’s a huge amount for just the lowest tier, and gives you plenty to enjoy. That fits the ideal of something like a broad education system, and gives a very open feel. Logan’s tier is literally an “Open Book” of all sorts of delights.

And with that horrible pun, we move to Patton’s tier:  The Monthly Allowance.

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From the Snake’s Own Mouth:

“That not enough for you? Fine. I'll give you everything from that last tier, PLUS...”

For all that it is creepy as heck, the fact that Patton’s tier is also a pun is perfect. The candles heat must surely make this... heartwarming. And the addition of blooper reels in the rewards, and the commentary, feel more personal than Logan’s open tier. Which is why I don’t think Patton was the first tier.

Patton wears his heart on his sleeve too much for Janus’ tastes, I bet. All of those emotions just out there where anyone could see? Those bloopers that showcase how imperfect Thomas and the crew are? Yikes. That is definitely something a certain snek wouldn’t want to be the most public option, though, at the same time, Patton’s gentle qualities and general love of the fandom also mean he’s a good symbol to push closer to the front of the Corridor, and doesn’t need to be as hidden as some of the others.

Also the fact that Patton’s tier has a sticker as a reward is absolutely perfect and you can’t tell me otherwise. Can’t you just imagine him going “Thank you so much, kiddo! Let’s watch some bloopers and play with sticker books! I’ll get the cocoa”? He’s the good goofy dad and stickers are fun. Bloopers and being silly are fun. It’s perfect for the sweet lad.

Then we have the illustrious Roman’s tier: A Prince’s Ransom.

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From the Snake’s Own Mouth:

“You want more? Really?? … You can only half tell, but I’m blushing over the fact that we’re worth this much to you. How about, everything in that last tier AND...”

Hooo boi there’s suddenly a lot more to unpack here. This is in no way an insult to the lovely Crew as a whole, but doesn’t it feel like this tier has more bribery going on than the last two? More self-centered reasons to join? It’s not just your name in the credits like Patton offered: it’s your name as a writer. That T-shirt (which I 100% leaped at when I saw this because holy heck it’s so pretty), and of course the mysterious Writer’s Room.

This tier feels very creative as well: look at all the stuff about influencing the show, the art of the shirt, etc. This is all about being showy and creative like our wonderful prince. But it’s not the first tier, even though Thomas is very much a creator. Why? Why is the tier for the showiest, flashiest Side just randomly tucked in the middle, not even the highest for show?

Because Janus doesn’t want Roman to be the first thing everyone sees. Our sweet boy is definitely eye-catching, but he can also be vain to the point of pompous, even annoying. And his fragile ego isn’t something that Janus likely wants to show off. Janus’ statement about “blushing” and “being worth that much to you” even feels like it matches that pride and ego. 

And that fragility is in the crown’s design, too. At first glance it seems fine. Very fantastic, with Roman’s sun symbol in lovely display. But a longer look reveals cracks, broken sections and fissures. And a slight, odd green shine, too. Hmm.

No, Roman couldn’t be made the first tier because of his pride, but his is also the last tier to not have any outright locks on it...

The Strange Dark Son’s tier: OK, Now You’re Making Me Feel Guilty...

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From the Snake’s Own Mouth:

“PLEASE, don’t give us any more money! I don’t know what we could possibly do with it! But alright… since I like you, you can have everything in the last tier, and I'LL THROW IN...”

“Now you’re making me feel guilty” is absolutely what I would expect Virgil to think about someone giving him money because they enjoyed Thomas’ content. He’d freak out, and want to make sure to do something equally nice in return, to say thank you. Hence the thank-you video. 

NGL I can also imagine him panicking and rushing around his room to pick up a random mug and just thrust it out at the gifter in return too, before hiding away in an anxious mess, but anyway. xD

The artwork for this seems to very much be in homage to the Annabelle Doll: a supposedly haunted ragdoll, kept locked in a case at an occult museum.

Something interesting about this doll’s story, though...

Wiki: “According to the Warrens, a student nurse was given the doll in 1970. They said that the doll behaved strangely, and that a psychic medium told the student that the doll was inhabited by the spirit of a deceased girl named "Annabelle". The student and her roommate tried to accept and nurture the spirit-possessed doll, but the doll reportedly exhibited malicious and frightening behavior.”

Huh. Who else do we know that when confronted with too much coddling responds by lashing out?

And this is the first tier with a lock. The glass is chipped (from inside or out?) but the lock is holding. The doll is inert and doesn’t seem likely to do anything unless disturbed, if it matches the original story. Which seems to fit Virgil relatively well. Sure, he’ll make you anxious (maybe those cracks are where the influence leeches free), but doesn’t seem intent on outright harm. Also the cracks and the creepy living doll cabinet as a whole made me think of spider webs and our boi’s Halloween decor, so I thought that was excellent, honestly.

This tier is hidden behind Roman’s shining pomp. It’s outright locked away, as if to keep it from seeing the light of day. The Dark Side tiers both seem this way: hidden from prying eyes by the splendor of the first few tiers.

And the most hidden one of all... Gross Profit.

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From the Snake’s Own Mouth:

“Oh you bougie rascal, you! Your generosity is seen and I truly thank you for it… but a few kind words from me aren't enough, I'm sure... so how about, you get everything from the last tier ALONG WITH...”

Firstly we have exclusive tier level gifts that Janus won’t even reveal. Meta-wise, this is likely more because the team has to decide what those gifts ARE, and how to safely ship them, but the way it sounds in the description not only feels super secretive, but also very much like Remus to me, as well. I’m pretty sure any and all gifts from him are a surprise in some way. Whether that is pleasant is debatable, but it’s still a surprise!

The highest tier also looks to have the highest security. Look at that sturdy, metal bound chest and huge padlock. Not only that but it also has chains wrapped around it to hold it shut, and even then, the contents are actively seeking to escape, like our delightful trashman would. Even the shuggoth-like appearance matches his presence as a shifting, terrifying and likely quite gloopy entity, capable of squeezing even where he’s not wanted.  Even the green fabric below looks stained with mud or blood or something equally as upsetting. The image does a great job of showing how hard it is to contain Intrusive Thoughts, as a whole, and is likely a main reason Janus drinks so much “juice” on his birthdays. 

Unlike the last image, this one is outright trying to break containment, and oddly, it almost seems like someone left a golden key in easy reach for just that purpose... A key which also looks rather oddly shaped, to me.

It’s hard to tell from the angle, but it doesn’t look like the eye is a simple circle, but that it has a point, like a heart almost. Or even the ornate letter D from the Corridor logo?

I can’t be sure of that, but what I can definitely be sure of is the sheer amount of lock, key, and chain symbolism our Snekky Fren has to his name.

While Janus has no tier, the entire SITE has his symbol, like a brand. 

Every post, the icon, the about page, it’s there. And the snake isn’t trapped by the lock, but guarding it. It looks to have a green highlight around where a chip is (hmm), but other than that, it looks quite solid, and well-guarded by watchful creatures that never blink.

The shape of the lock looks like it could be heart-shaped as well, like that golden key allowing the Remus tentacles to wriggle free.

They also do a heckin blep and honestly what could possibly be better? 

So yeah, that’s my way overly long ramble about the tier levels and what I think they mean. Maybe if I’m not too lazy I’ll do one on the pictures of Janus playing peekaboo with my nightmares on the about page. 

God but this art is amazing and y’all need to go preesh the artist holy heck. 

[hellodeedles]

New Pillow

Rowan was absolutely drained. Work had been kicking his ass lately and his new boss was methodical and cruel in the amount of work he was piling on. Always demanding that he put more and more hours in at the office, hinting that if he met all of these new ridiculous requirements, he'd be in the running for the promotion he had been hoping for.

Tonight, Rowan had only left the office only an hour late, the earliest he had left in the last month. The only reason he did was because he brought his work computer home with him so he could continue once he was finally sitting on his own couch.

Home was once the only thing Rowan looked forward to. Now it wasn't anything like it had been. Aelin had moved in right before his new boss got to town and those first few weeks where they actually were able to spend more than a few minutes together to share a brief kiss and hello had been the best of his life.

Now however, he was constantly working late and Aelin was picking up overtime at the hospital saying that she didn't want to be home if Rowan wasn't there. Using the extra argument that they could use the extra money anyway.

Rowan walks up to the apartment door and sighs. He didn't look at the little calendar Aelin had posted on the fridge with all of her shifts before he ran out the door this morning and he couldn't remember if she was working today. If she was, it was too early for her to be back. Maybe he would be able to get some work done before she got home, and they would actually get to spend some time together that didn't involve the phrase "where are my keys?".

Rowan unlocks the door and to his surprise a cacophony of noise of falling pans and the smell of burning food floods his senses as soon as the door opens.

"Shit, shit, shit." Rowan hears Aelin say.

"Aelin?" Rowan asks, dropping his keys on the entry way table. "What's going on?"

Aelin who was standing in front of the stove turns to him eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights.

"Rowan! I didn't think you'd be home so early."

Rowan shrugs trying to see past her to the stove knowing it can't be good. "I brought work home with me. I had to get out of the office, I was losing my mind being shut up in there."

"Oh," she says taking a too casual step to hide more of the stove from view.

"Still doesn't answer my question though," he says a slight smile on his face as he realizes what she's doing.

"And what question would that be?"

"What's going on here?"

"Absolutely nothing you need to be worried about?"

Really now?" He asks a full smile breaking through, the thoughts of the amount of work he had to still do tonight disappearing from his mind. "It smells like I should be worried."

"Well you don't, so just go and mind your own business elsewhere." Aelin says turning her back to him to face the stove. "I have everything under control."

"Uh, huh." He says walking up to stand behind her to get a better view of the disaster that he knows is going on.

"I do," she glares at him over her shoulder. "Now go change and leave it to me. I know exactly what I am doing."

Holding back a chuckle Rowan just kisses Aelins cheek and makes his way to their bedroom to change. He knows that there is no stopping her once she has set her mind to things.

Rowan has just slipped off his dress shirt when he hears, "Oh fuck," come from the kitchen. He stops what he's doing and runs out to the kitchen to make sure that there's no fire. He wouldn't put it past Aelin to accidentally set fire to a pan again.

"What happened?" He asks quickly scanning the stove to make sure everything is still intact.

Aelin looks over at him, silver misting her eyes. "I screwed up, I thought I could make dinner for you because you've been working so hard and you're busy all of the time. I know your boss is stressing you out with the promotion and everything. I just wanted you to have a nice home cooked meal to come home to and I messed it up so bad it'll probably kill you if you eat it." Rowans heart swells at her words. Even though Aelin is overworking herself she too she notices how run down he's been and she's trying to make it better.

"Fireheart," Rowan says opening his arms to her. Aelin rushes to him nuzzling her face into his bare chest. "I love you, you know that right." She nods and Rowan kisses her head. "But for the love of the gods you cannot cook even if it was to save your own life."

Aelin gives him a sad chuckle as her response. "What do you say to me cleaning this whole mess up and ordering delivery from Emmrys?" Rowan asks.

Aelin nods looking up at him. "I'll help you, it was my mess to begin with."

The two of them begin to clean the kitchen, Rowan smiling all through it even though it looks like Aelin has ruined yet another pan. Rowan goes to finished changing once the kitchen is clean and their delivery arrives quickly after that. The two of them take their respective meals over to the couch not having the energy to set the table.

"Tell me how work has been," Aelin says between bites. "All I really know is that you keep staying late at the office."

Rowan shrugs. "Basically, the boss did some reshuffling of roles and it looks like I am currently doing all the work I was doing before plus the work of someone who used to be working on the same project as me but got pushed to a different one."

"But that's not fair. He's going to run you ragged Rowan, you loved this job when you started, I would hate for you to lose that."

"I know," Rowan says looking down at his food. "Truth is I don't know what to do about it. I know I can't keep going on like this. My boss says he's planning on hiring someone else to fill the role, but I don't know how true that is."

Aelin pursed her lips in a way that told him she knew exactly what he could do but instead she held her tongue. That was one of the things Rowan loved most about Aelin. She was hotheaded and had a wicked mouth where she would say whatever the hell she wanted but when it really came down to it, she always let Rowan come to his own decisions. She let him use her as more of soundboard for his own thoughts knowing how tangled they could get inside his head.

Rowan moves his food to the coffee table and puts his head in his hands. He really doesn't know what to do about his job and he says as much to Aelin.

"Oh, Rowan," she says, moving her own food out of the way. "Come here." She pulls him so they're both laying on the couch, Rowan on top of her with his head resting on her chest. The two of them don't really fit on the couch like this but right now Rowan doesn't think that there could be a position that is more comfortable in the world right now.

He signs in content as Aelin begins to comb her fingers through his hair, her nails scratching at his scalp.

"You know," she begins after a few minutes. "You don't have to make a decision tonight. You can just think about keeping your options open so if it gets to the point where you don't think you can take anymore you're not starting from scratch."

Rowan grumbles something that he thinks sounds like an agreement and nudges Aelins hand with his head to get her to continue to play with his hair.

Aelin laughs. "You're no better than a house cat," but she continues anyway.

"I like this," Rowan says turning his head and nuzzling his face into her chest.

"What using my boobs as a pillow?"

"Yes. I think I am going to use you as my new pillow from now on."

Aelins laugh is bright and joyous. Rowan doesn't think he realized until this moment just how much he missed her.

Turning his head up to hers he says letting all of his emotions be visible on his face, "I love you Aelin, to whatever end."

She looks at him, fire burning in her turquoise eyes as she says, "I love you too Rowan, to whatever end."

Reaching up to kiss her, butterflies fill his heart and Rowan thinks he falls in love with her just a little bit more, reaffirming his decision about the little box he has tucked away in his dresser for her.

~~~

@live-the-fangirl-life

[wonda-cat]

Some Thoughts on Tommy’s most recent stream (4/29)

(For the record, this isn’t going to be like my other formal analyses. I’m genuinely just ranting here, possibly unedited too. I’m only referring to the characters, unless stated otherwise.

Also obvious warning, this will be fairly negative/critical of the DSMP’s writing, so scroll past if that might bother you. I tend to criticize the media I love, so this is just par for the course in my case.)

Let’s start off with—

The Things I Liked

All of the comedy at the beginning of the stream was wonderful. Ghostbur was incredibly endearing and entertaining as usual, as well as the moments between bench trio. Tommy’s change of plans made sense and the entire journey through the prison was tense and fun to watch. As well as the moment Tommy got caught (it was inevitable.) 

It goes without stating, but cc!Wilbur and cc!Tommy’s acting was wonderful—they knocked it out of the park. I liked the little moments of Tommy calming Ghostbur down as Sam screamed at him. I also loved Wilbur's speech about his time in the afterlife when bench trio found him. 

As well as the moment with Wilbur admiring the sky and calling it ‘his sunrise.’ I’m also glad that the afterlife was explained to be caused by the Revival Book’s existence and not some general eternal torture every character will be sentenced to regardless of anything they did in life. 

But, sadly, that’s about where I stop and have to go into what I didn’t like as much, which is—

Everything Else

I’ll be talking about my major gripes with this particular stream in later bullet points down the line, but for now I’ll bring up the little things that annoyed me. This is all basically nit-picking and isn’t as awful or badly written as some of the others I’ll be discussing later. 

First off, Why is Ranboo There? In the stream before this one, Tommy had Tubbo promise to not tell anyone else about their plan. Did he just decide to tell Ranboo anyway? Why? What was the point of asking him to keep it secret if it didn’t matter? 

Adding to this, Tubbo and Ranboo were rather unnecessary for any of the other scenes that took place. They didn’t have any meaningful conversations with Tommy besides Ranboo asking why he was dreading Wilbur’s revival so much, as well as Wilbur’s comments to Tubbo about him being president. But other than that they have little to no notable speaking lines. 

They don’t Do Anything? Sure, they’re nice to have present so Tommy can vent to someone else and find comfort but, in the end, Ranboo was oddly angry and accusatory with Tommy and Tubbo was practically absent from the scene. The impression I got from Tommy and Tubbo’s conversation in the previous stream implied that Tubbo would be serving a larger role as a distraction, but I guess they changed gears or something? 

Then we have Ghostbur’s involvement, which, yeah, makes sense. Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo are not allowed inside the prison, so it’s best to find someone else who can get in without suspicion. But my first assumption, upon seeing Ghostbur with the group was, “Oh, he’s gonna go in there and Dream’s gonna use him to revive Wilbur. That’s the only reason why Ghostbur is here and not anyone else, who would also be willing to kill Dream. It’s not like they’re in short supply right now.”

And I ended up being right, which only frustrated me more. I wanted something unexpected. Something new. Something interesting. Yet, I got the most predictable outcome instead—Tommy fails, Wilbur is revived. 

Next, we have another big serving of ‘Tommy gets blamed for things he has no control over’ part 241. I am so, so sick of characters getting unreasonably mad at and blaming Tommy for anything and everything. It’s not new, it’s not interesting, it’s not fun. It’s just miserable. 

It is,, awful. And it’s highkey frustrating. I refuse to sit through another arc of Tommy being endlessly hurt and blamed for stuff he didn’t do or cannot control. Pick a new event in the plot. 

Try something out of left field. Do something, anything different to this. I’m begging you. 

Now, we get into the major writing pitfalls and shortcomings. Starting with—

We Need to Talk About Sam

I have no idea what is going on with Sam’s character right now. It is so genuinely confusing. I have no clue why Sam reacted the way he did to Tommy because it just doesn’t make any sense. Sam’s entire inner conflict is about him trying to cultivate and protect his humanity and morality while upkeeping a strict, closed-off demeanor.

He follows the rules, even if it hurts the people he loves. Even if these codes force him into a position to be unethical. He feels it is his responsibility should anything go wrong or if Dream escapes, because it puts others in danger.

His strict approach got Tommy killed, and it also took a life and an arm from Ponk. Both of these people are precious to him. So why on earth would he threaten to kill Tommy when, in their last interaction, he was glad he was alive—after he promised to never let something like that happen again?

He respected Tommy’s wishes to stay away from him, and rather politely too. Why would he then threaten to kill him just after weeks of saying Tommy’s death was his biggest regret? That’s not even touching on Sam saying, “This is why I let you die,” as well as blaming Tommy for something that was directly a result of his own refusal to act.

Why didn’t he have Ghostbur also hitch a ride on the same platform with Tommy? Why did he even let Ghostbur into the prison in the first place if he:

A.) Told Ranboo he wasn’t going to let anyone in there after what happened to Tommy.

B.) Also wouldn’t let people in lest they find out about Quackity’s plan.

C.) Couldn’t even kill Ghostbur because he’s incorporeal and thus cannot fully upkeep the contracts he is signing.

There’s also the issue of Sam breaking the rules he abides by when he decided to not kill Tommy after he snuck into the prison, despite it being in the contract. Why is it different now? He went against his own protocol but was also following it by refusing to let Ghostbur come back to the other platform?

Why does Sam refuse to listen to Tommy? Their argument is mind-numbingly ridiculous. Sam refuses to hurt Dream, despite him only being alive because Sam claimed Tommy wanted him alive.

But now Tommy is there, begging Sam to let him kill Dream, and Sam just goes, “No. We’re not killing Dream.” Fucking why??? Sam! You said you wanted to kill Dream at least four times by now! Maybe more!

You were on your way to do it with Quackity and the only thing that stopped you was your promise to Tommy. But now Tommy’s here, telling you to kill Dream and you fucking won’t???? I am absolutely baffled.

No matter how you spin it, it makes no fucking sense. However, if I tried,,, I could possibly come up with a reason or two. Maybe Dream is blackmailing him. Maybe Quackity is forcing him to keep Dream alive until he can get the info he needs (even though,,, why would he trust Quackity over Tommy, who he’s outwardly stated he trusts just as much, if not more?)

It feels like these plots are dancing around each other, trying to keep up this faux sense of conflict that doesn’t exist. But, here’s the thing, contrived conflict is never compelling. I can’t overstate it enough.

Dream’s Plan is Complete Nonsense

The method to revive Wilbur makes Dream seem even more short-sighted than I remember commenting on, during the stream where Tommy was brought back to life. He told Tommy that his plan was to test the book to see if it worked (which, okay fine, I can buy this.) But then he says all along he was planning to revive Wilbur in order to break out of prison, which is ???? This is baffling if he needed Ghostbur in order to pull this off. 

Which,,, I can’t even begin to explain how ridiculous it is that Dream’s entire plan hitched on not only the book working on people to begin with (which he tested on Tommy,,, for some reason, even though he would’ve lost his ‘favorite toy’ if he fucked it up. Which,, why even take that chance in the first place? there are other visitors he could’ve tried this with, surely. Like Sapnap and Bad,,) and it also relied on Ghostbur voluntarily going into the prison just to visit Dream?? And if he didn’t need Ghostbur after all, then why didn’t he bring Wilbur back weeks ago? 

That’s not even getting into the issue of Dream assuming that Wilbur, once brought back, would: 

A.) Want to be alive in the first place.

B.) Actually be willing to help Dream, instead of telling him to fuck off.

C.) Be even slightly capable of helping him at all when he has no allies, no PVP skill, no weapons, no armor, and no knowledge of the prison or its innerworkings. 

Why are the current DSMP writers so committed to making me think Dream is a fucking idiot? I don’t enjoy this. I used to like his character and think he was smart. Stop. 

ALSO, why did Tommy or Tubbo or Ranboo not think of the possibility that Ghostbur could very well be necessary to revive Wilbur? Why did that not cross any of their minds? It was the first thing I thought of when I saw him.

Another big thing that irks me is Tommy and Sam saying they saw Dream physically holding the Revival Book, which,,, how? Why? Dream said in previous streams that he burned the book and that was entirely the thing that kept him from being killed outright. If there was a book still in existence, did he hide it somehow? 

How did Quackity not find it? Why did Sam not take it from him when he was first arrested?? What? 

Also how the fuck did Dream kill a ghost?? They’re incorporeal? How does he not need the body to perform necromancy? That seems almost redundant. 

Also it took a matter of seconds to perform? It took,,, ?? nothing but words and sheer willpower to bring someone back to life? Why does it seem so easy? My mans just,, uses his vibes to bring people back from the dead??? 

Unless the book has instructions regarding that or has a proportional price in order to use, then I’d be more forgiving. But I’m guessing it doesn’t have too steep a cost if Dream could offer Tommy immortality despite that. But I’m sure we’ll get more information on this once Quackity (inevitably) gets his hands on the book. Hopefully… 

Which brings me to my last point—

Wilbur’s Revival (Derogatory)

Since the Revival Book was introduced, I have been actively dreading Wilbur being revived. It is the most predictable, low-hanging fruit of a plotline I could possibly conceive of. I understand that he’s a fan-favorite with a large audience (I love Wilbur more than you’d expect. cc!Wilbur is actually the reason I got into the DSMP in the first place), but there are other characters who could be developed more—utilized more. 

Unpopular opinion, I know, but I am just so incredibly unenthused about this plot development. In fact, I’d almost go so far as to say hate it. 

The Revival Book in and of itself is my least favorite thing the DSMP has ever introduced. It is a lack of consequences simplified. It’s also a lack of commitment to those mortal consequences. 

It is a ‘get out of jail free’ card for when they kill off a character and don’t want to deal with the hole that character will leave behind. Or a way to work around the reason they shouldn’t kill Dream on the spot. 

With Wilbur back again, I no longer feel compelled by his arc the way I used to. There is nothing to really leave a lasting impact anymore. Of course, there was a cater where L’Manburg once stood, but that was dug even deeper later on. You can’t make the death of a friend, of a loved one, worse than it is. It is death. 

The thing I found extremely interesting about Wilbur’s death is the way the other characters portrayed loss. It has consistently been the thing that was most comforting to me, oddly enough. When people die, there will always be loose ends. 

There will be holes left behind and things left unsaid. An unfulfilled promise. A forgotten relationship. A hollow memory.

What I always found compelling was the way Tommy and Fundy and Niki took this mutual loss and had to live with it. How they had to come to terms with the fact that Wilbur was gone and he wasn’t coming back. That they had to make peace with his memory, his legacy, and their connection to him. 

That they’d miss him and love him or hate him and try to forget him. It is a tragedy that someone like Wilbur wanted to die for so long, and in the end, he did. Because in reality, the people you love will die. 

There may be someone in your life that leaves you behind and all you’re left with is the broken pieces. And it is how these characters move on that brings me bittersweet company as someone who’s lost a lot of people. There is nothing more irritating than a story going back on its establishments—to have their cake and eat it too. 

All I want is the bare minimum—a story with narrative stakes and consequences.

The only way I could ever see myself enjoying this plot development is if Wilbur has a redemption arc and attempts to make amends with Tommy, Fundy, Niki, and Eret. OR if he aids in Dream’s downfall in some way and enjoys the simple realities of life and wants to live for the sake of living. I’d find that at least new and somewhat interesting. 

But if he’s just here to be a moustache toiling villain (or somehow worse than after his previous downward spiral), when the market is already so deeply oversaturated with antagonists, then I will probably drop the series altogether. 

Hopefully it doesn’t come to that because I love the Dream SMP and I want to keep loving it for as long as I can. 

I will hold onto more reasons to stay, so long as they keep giving them to me.

[trekkiepirate]

TOP FIVE The Amazing Devil lyrics!

YOU ALSO MADE THIS HARD HOW DARE YOU YOU MAY MAKE IT UP TO ME BY LISTENING TO LOVE RUN AND SCREAMING ABOUT NEW YORK TORCH SONG WITH ME, MEI MEI.

1. Welcome to the storm/I am thunder/welcome to my table/bring your hunger (it was my gateway lyric, the one I listened to a bajillion times in a song I listened to a million times until I finally bought the album so Bandcamp would let me listen without limits and started down the path of being a TAD nerd/Dear Heart) - The Horror And The Wild

2. It’s like all the wallpaper inside my heart/is slowly slowly peeling off/and I’m showing all the stains and things/they wrote on the wall before (I mentioned this a bit in the songs list, but when I was very sick, like sauntering vaguely towards literally dying, all I could do was lay and stare at my wallpaper in my childhood bedroom, so I built this image of my heart, covered in wallpaper to hide the pain I was in and the heartaches I’d had, and the dark parts of me, slap some pretty floral wallpaper on it so no one would see how very much I was hurting and wanted to give up already and die. When I heard this line, I had to pause the damn song and cry. Like, pause the song, slowly get up from my work desk and make my way to the bathroom in the building and just go into a stall and lean on the wall a bit and cry. How Joey Batey could write something like that, speaking so completely to a very private part of myself, cracked me open enough for the absolute LOVE I have for TAD to come flowing in) - Two Damn Minutes

3. I promise you I’m not broken/I promise you there’s more/more to come, more to reach for/ more to hurl at the door/goodbye to all my darkness/there’s nothing here but light/adieu to all the faceless things that sleep with me at night/this here is not makeup it’s a porcelain tomb/and this here is not singing I’m just screaming in tune (basically all of Farewell Wanderlust is utterly fantastic, but this part is so good for just singing at the top of my lungs, it’s hopeful and dark and emotional and gorgeous and if I ever meet Joey Batey, I may have to kiss his forehead just to get close to kissing the beautiful brain that came up with it, well with all these lyrics, well just because it’s a cute forehead on a perfect, stupid face and I wanna kiss him) - Farewell Wanderlust

4. Though some would harm you/none not one no none/would raise to you a hand nor thumb/not while by you I stand and hum (1. I am GONNA write the fic that needs that last bit as a the title one day; 2. it’s just utterly gorgeous and the rhythm of it and the way it feels when you sing it, this whole bit is *chefs kiss*) - Not Yet/Love Run

5. Burying her head into his chest and clinging to the moment, ‘where have you been?’/She’ll whisper ‘I’ve waited oh so long for you to come’/And as the stars above them hum and hear them/he’ll turn to her and say ‘that’s what she said’ (1. I really think the entirety of Fair is the best love song I have ever heard in my life and I want to find someone who makes me live it but this bit is so funny and cute and perfect, 2. when I read a comment to Dandelion/Jaskier in the books: “maybe the ability to go from touching lyricism to obscenity so easily is a talent” I thought of this line and just yelled IT IS AND JOEY BATEY GOT IT IN SPADES HE WAS BORN TO BE JASKIER) -Fair

Honourable mentions (Like I could only choose 5 C’MON Y’ALL KNOW ME AND YOU’RE LUCKY I JUST DOUBLED IT AND I DIDN’T PICK A LYRIC FROM EACH SONG COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS LIEBLINGS):

5. And they’re telling jokes/tell ‘em that one about two men in a tent/laughs out loud at mine/do you like my accent, like my accent? (mostly because telling the joke this references is always fun and I got to tell it to Jason Ritter and it was one of the best moments of last year for me when he chuckled a bit) - Pruning Shears

6. Could be ghosts or monsters or a robot vampire I dunno (It’s just silly and fun and I love it muchly, also hella fun to sign) - Wild Blue Yonder

7. Pray for me cause I won’t pray for you (this just speaks to the former Catholic school kid I was, and also I would 100% not be surprised if Joey grew up in a Catholic/Christian school too because this whole song seems just FEELS like someone who grew up in that world and had a few too many questions about it for the other people to be cool with, like I did, but I may be projecting) - Pray

8. Sing me awake with a song about pirates (Grabs the lyrics to “Shipful of Monsters” JOEY I CAN 100% DO THIS IF YOU’D LIKE *wink and eyebrow waggle*) - Not Yet/Love Run

9. I am above you, And I love you, don’t you know/That I’ll be with you all along, as long as you are kind/To those who are not strong and cannot find their scarlet welly boots (this line has been comfort and pain and fire and balm to the soul wound left by my beloved grandma’s death) - Welly Boots

10. Every moon in the sky/Every promise and lie/all hell and its fire waits for us (I just love the rhythm of this 10/10 would recommend tossing your head back and sing-screaming this at the sky)

Honourable Honourable mention to the way Joey Batey growls “No, no, not I” in That Unwanted Animal and single-handedly claimed all the tiny fragments of sexual attraction my gray-ace ass was allotted for the next decade

[skinsharpenedteeth]

Coming Up Easy - First Sightings

I am *SO* sorry this is so hella late this week. It's been... a fucking week. CW: One mention of a homophobic slur.

You can also read this on AO3!

CUE - First Sightings

Unpacking boxes was not one of Alex’s favorite activities. He hadn’t had many when he’d moved because he hadn’t wanted to rent a truck or deal with shipping things, so the twelve boxes he’d been able to load into the late nineties Ford Explorer encompassed all his worldly possessions. He’d finally gotten a chance to start unpacking the miscellaneous boxes after a trip to Ikea for bookshelves, a bed, and a couch. Furthermore, he’d promised himself he’d explore his new city more and find second-hand shops for other household furniture and accessories, but the bookshelves would be enough to finally clear away the last of his unpacked boxes.

Alex opened the last box and looked inside. His heart softened a little as he saw the small shoebox of photographs he kept. Promising himself he’d look through it later, he unpacked the few other knick-knacks out of the box and took them to the bookshelves to start placing them. The box didn’t reenter his mind until after dinner when he found himself lounging across his new sofa with a cold beer in his hand. The box stared at him from the floor where he’d left it. Setting down his beer on the floor, he quickly got up and grabbed the box, and brought it back over to the couch. He flipped open the top and gingerly picked up the pile closest to him.

Michael and him in the desert with guitars. Liz, Max, Michael, and him at a church car wash. Michael, Kyle, and him all leaning against a bathroom wall in various stages of being phenomenally sick from drinking too much. Him and Michael hanging out at the UFO Emporium. Him and Michael eating pizza and playing video games at Max and Isobel’s. Him and Michael in college at a frat party. Him and Michael. Him and Michael. Him and Michael…

It hit Alex quite suddenly that basically since he and Michael had become friends they’d been fairly inseparable. They’d dated other people and had friends that the other didn’t like, but as a rule, it was always the two of them against the world and it had been since they were fifteen. He picked up his phone and snapped a photo of the photograph he held in his hand where they were sixteen, pimply, awkward, and bent over laughing outside the high school band room.

Me 8:46 p.m.>> Who the fuck are these dorks? <<Picture sent at 8:46 p.m.>> <<Michael 8:50 p.m.>> Holy shit, look at those nerds!! <<Michael 8:51 p.m.>> Though I gotta say, the emo one is pretty hot. If I were sixteen, I’d definitely have a crush on him. Me 8:52 p.m.>> You did not have a crush on me at 16! I was so tragic! <<Michael 8:53 p.m.>> You were not. You were fucking feral. You took exactly zero percent shit from anyone. It was hot as fuck. Me 8:55 p.m.>> You are definitely misremembering the amount of bullshit I put up with. <<Michael 9:00 p.m.>> Do you know what you were doing the first time I saw you?

Alex cast back in his memory. He remembered the first time he was aware of Michael, but not necessarily the first time Michael was aware of him. He always assumed it was at the same time.

Me 9:02 p.m.>> Uh? Scribbling emo song lyrics on my bio lab notebook? <<Michael 9:03 p.m.>> Nope. <<Michael 9:03 p.m.>> You were having a fight with Kyle during gym because he tagged your gym shirt with the word “faggot” in pink sharpie.

“Mr. Manes, you cannot wear shirts with inappropriate text on them. This is the gym. White shirts only,” Coach Heim called at Alex as soon as he walked out of the locker room and started towards where the rest of the class was lounging in the middle of the basketball court. Alex could see Kyle elbowing his football buddies and smirking, barely containing their laughter. Alex felt his face grow hot with embarrassment and fury. He kept walking towards the group.

“MR. MANES! GO CHANGE YOUR SHIRT!” the coach yelled, putting more authority into his deep baritone. He was a fit, balding adult who generally was an alright guy, but Alex was swelling with indignation. He stopped a few feet away from the group so he didn’t have to yell to be heard.

“I don’t have another shirt, sir. This is my gym shirt,” Alex explained through clenched teeth. As the rest of the class got a good look at the words emblazoned across his chest and stomach, he heard them begin to snicker and giggle quietly.

“Well, you can’t wear that one. You’re smarter than this, Alex, why would you wear this out of the locker room?” the coach asked, not sounding unkind. He shot the gathered students a dirty look and they quieted their laughter.

“Because it’s all I had to wear and it’s not my fault it was defaced. Some pink-fingered fucking COWARD of a football player must’ve thought it’d be REAL FUNNY to break into my locker and--” Alex started, voice growing louder as he let the heat behind his cheeks infuse his voice.

“I did no such thing!” Kyle yelled, cutting in on Alex. Coach Heim looked over at him, eyes narrowed. He opened his mouth to say something, maybe to tell Kyle to sit down, but as soon as Kyle stepped forward away from his buddies, Alex pounced. He landed the first hit on Kyle’s cheek, the meaty smack of their skin satisfying to him. Kyle shook it off and came at him. Before he knew it, they were rolling on the ground hitting each other as hard as they could in anyplace visible. The pain was nothing new for Alex and he kept his head clear as he tried to aim for spots that would hurt long after he was pulled off.

Too soon, arms were wrapped around his chest and a much bigger body than his was pulling him back and off of where he’d pinned Valenti to the ground. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, his ears still ringing with rage, but he could see the thin trickle of blood from Kyle’s split lip and he felt himself smile at the shock on everyone else’s face as they watched him get dragged back. He would not take Kyle’s shit this year. He would not take anyone’s shit.

Alex rubbed his fingers across his eyebrows and sighed deeply. He had been so ready to cause someone else pain by then. His dad had only gotten worse towards him when Kyle started to pull away because it meant that his “unnaturalness” was evident to everyone. His fight then and the fights in the following year always had more to do with his dad than with him being ashamed of being gay. He put the photos down in the box and went to grab a bottle of water from the fridge. His phone chimed as he unscrewed the top and after a deep drink, he checked the message.

<<Michael 9:13 p.m.>> Uh oh, you’ve left me on read. You okay? Me 9:14 p.m.>> I’m fine. Sorry. Just got wrapped up in my head for a minute. Me 9:15 p.m.>> How did you see that? You weren’t in my gym class? <<Michael 9:16 p.m.>> I was hiding under the bleachers skipping english. Me 9:17 p.m.>> THAT WAS THE FIRST DAY! <<Michael 9:17 p.m.>> Right? Nothing to do anyway. It was fine. It’s in the past. I graduated high school, didn’t I? No harm, no foul.

Alex laughed quietly to himself, staring at the message screen. He went back to the couch and flopped back down across the cushions with a sigh.

Me 9:20 p.m.>> You did. Even graduated college. I guess you’re right. <<Michael 9:21 p.m.>> When do you remember seeing me for the first time? Me 9: 23 p.m.>> I feel like it was biology when we were lab partners. I was supposed to be with Max, remember? <<Michael 9:24 p.m.>> Yeah, I was with Liz. Max had no chill back then. How the fuck did it take Liz until senior year to notice that he liked her? Me 9:35 p.m.>> Had no chill? *Has* no chill.

“Michael! MI-CHAEL!” Max hissed loudly from his seat next to Alex two rows behind where Liz was sitting. The class period was just getting started and everyone was still milling around trying to find their assigned seats. Michael looked over his shoulder at Max who was looking desperately at him. Michael mouthed ‘what?!’ and gave Max an irritated glare.

“Switch with me!” Max whisper screamed. Alex was smirking into his notebook as he watched the exchange through the side of his eye. He hadn’t really noticed the curly-haired boy before, but the eye roll he gave Max was epic. He started to turn back to the front when Max whispered again. “I’ll pay you!”

Michael turned back around abruptly and narrowed his eyes.

“How much?” Michael asked, not whispering but keeping his voice low enough not to carry to the teacher who was about to start taking roll. Max looked desperately towards the front of the class at Liz’s back where she was ignoring what was happening beside her in favor of actually paying attention. She was about the only one.

“Fifty,” Max called out.

“Seventy-five and you buy my lunch for a week,” Michael countered. Alex was highly amused. Max darted his eyes over to Liz’s back again and nodded. Michael grabbed his stuff and moved quickly towards the back of the classroom while Max grabbed his stuff to go forward.

“Sorry!” Max called out to Alex softly before he left. Alex watched him slide into the seat next to Liz smoothly and take out his notebook. She looked over and smiled at him in confusion, turning to look back at where Michael was now taking his seat next to Alex. Alex looked over at him and was struck full in the face with his mischievous grin.

“That sucker, I would’ve done it for twenty-five,” Michael shared with Alex conspiratorially, leaning closer to him while he spoke so his voice wouldn’t reach Max’s ears. Alex felt himself blushing a little at the somewhat flirtatious smirk Michael was giving him. He’d been aware of Michael, but hadn’t really ever paid him any mind. Now he was near him, he could see the interesting light brown of his eyes somewhere between gold and green. He also smelled a little like lake water and the woodsy, spicy deodorant Alex had smelled on Mr. Valenti. It was weirdly comforting.

“So he has a thing for Liz or is he that afraid of failing bio that badly? I’m not stupid,” Alex asked, clearing his throat and trying not to seem offended by Max’s desperation to switch partners.

“Oh, he has a major thing for Liz. It’s gross. Like, she’s pretty, don’t get me wrong. But he’s been writing Mr. and Mrs. Ortecho-Evans in his notebook since third grade or some shit like that,” Michael revealed, taking out his own bio notebook from his bag and setting in on the lab table in front of him. Alex took in what he was saying and nodded.

“So it’s not cause everyone says I’m gay?” Alex asked, voice low and a little nervous to see Michael’s reaction. Michael looked over at him, eyebrows drawn together and something like sympathy passing over his expression before he responded.

“No, man. Max doesn’t give a shit about that and neither do I. You weren’t planning on trying to date him, were you?” Michael asked, shooting him a grin. Alex grinned back, relieved to hear that someone in the school who was so upstanding and obviously straight like Max wasn’t a complete jerk. Michael didn’t seem too bad either.

“Nah. He’s not my type. I like musicians,” Alex joked, shooting Michael a side-grin.

“You don’t say? Do you play?” Michael asked, eyes forward now in a semblance of paying attention to the teacher. Alex glanced up towards the board, but continued slouching over his lyrics notebook.

“Guitar,” he replied shortly as the teacher started explaining their first lab assignment.

“Cool. Me too,” Michael said. Alex could see him studying him out of the corner of his eye. “We should jam sometime.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

And they did jam together eventually. A week later they’d gotten together and Alex had learned that Michael did not know one end of a guitar from the other. He’d let Michael borrow his brother Greg’s guitar and then taught him everything he knew over the course of the next three months.

Me 9:40 p.m.>> Man. Who knew we’d still be friends this long after. <<Michael 9:45 p.m.>> I did. Once you taught me to play guitar, you were stuck with me for life. There’s an unbreakable bond built when one dude teaches another dude how to finger... Me 9:46 p.m.>> Jesus Christ. That was terrible. <<Michael 9:47 p.m.>> Bet you’re laughing though. Me 9:48 p.m.>> I plead the fifth. Also, I gotta get to bed. Early day tomorrow. <<Michael 9:50 p.m.>> That’s some responsible adult behavior right there. Gross. Me 9:51 p.m.>> You’re gross. <<Michael 9:52 p.m.>> I am gross. I’m going to take a shower and change that, however. When will you be young and fun again? Me 9:53 p.m. >> Shut up. Go take your shower. <<Michael 9:53 p.m.>> Fine. Go to bed. Think about me in bed. Me 9:54 p.m.>> *You* think about me in bed. <<Michael 9:55 p.m.>> Always do. Night Me 9:56 p.m.>> Night.

Alex heaved himself off the couch and went to his room. The apartment always seemed so dark and lonely when he finished talking with Michael. He needed to work on making friends. That would help him not miss him so much.

[unkownknowledge]

Genshin characters and their spider s/o

A little crossover HC post between terraformars and genshin.

Basically the reader is the result of a messed up experiment and now they look like a monstrous humanoid spider, like this guy:

Except you have no human skin or hair, just pure chitin, extra legs out the back, and mandibles(like a turian)

Also: request are still open, feel free to request!

Including: Jean, Xinqiu, and Razor

_____________________________

Jean: hollow knight

_____________________________

Jean had been receiving reports of frightened merchants and townsfolk, all of whom had been found on the road ranting about a giant spider.

Jean was sure it was nothing more than hilichurls or hoarders or abyss mages and the people were merely suffering panic induced hallucinations, this was supported by the clear signs of such dangers at the scene of the crime.

But still, neither any of the knights nor adventurers in the guild reported saving these people, nor did Diluc claim that he did when she asked him.

So Jean decided to investigate, after all not only is there a chance of finding camps of the three above dangers, but also the chance of finding a new ally.

When she saw you in a clearing you looked like a normal human, until you turned your head in an inhuman manner and looked at her with eight red glowing eyes.

You screamed at her and used your geo vision to grow eight giant legs out your back, which you used to run away.

Jean, being the persistent woman she is, wasn't about let you go until she confirmed if you were a friend or foe.

She chased you through the forest for a while, and unfortunately didn't notice a group of hilichurls hiding behind some trees.

One swung out and struck her from behind, knocking her to the ground.

At the sound of this you turned around and saw Jean on the ground.

While she easily could have beaten the hilichurls, she didn't have to. This is because you were immediately next to her, sword drawn and slicing through the monsters like a hot knife through butter. Your geo legs acted like extra blades that parried any attack directed towards the knight.

Because you're other legs were busy, however, you were unable to block the attack from a crossbow that shot right through your knee.

You fell down and were beaten senseless by the hilichurls, the last thing you remember was the sounds of a blade and the monsters turning to dust before you blacked out.

You woke up on a soft bed inside an unfamiliar building. You tried to get up but your knee had a large hole in it, luckily for you your ability to feel pain was long lost.

Jean entered a minute later with some food, "good, your awake."

"Where am I?" You asked.

"In my home, the guest room to be exact."

"Why did you save me?"

"Because you were in danger."

"Yes but why? Aren't you afraid of me?"

"Considering how you saved me as well? No, not at all."

Jean poured some tea for both of you, "now onto-"

You felt your eyes water, something you didn't realize you could still do.

"What's wrong?" Jean asked.

"It's just, it's been so long since anyone was...nice to me. My appearance isn't exactly very welcoming."

"And yet you still help people, the same people who call you a monster?"

"Of course! I might be an abomination, but I'm not a monster. In fact, before I became...this I had always dreamed of joining the knights."

"Well, that makes things easy."

"What do you mean?"

"While I cannot officially make you a knight, I can make you an honorary member of the knights of favonius."

"REALLY!?" You said, a child like excitment on your face.

So you joined the knights, of course not everyone was happy about this.

But noone doubted the acting grand master's decision, after all she never once failed the city.

After a while the city warmed up to you, even hailing you as a hero thanks to all you've done!

But the city's attitude towards you wasn't the only thing getting warmer.

Infact, a certain person's cheeks seemed to grow red as Amber's ribbon at the mere mention of your name.

Lisa and Kaeya were the first to notice Jean's infatuation with you, and they were quite intent on helping her.

It would be easy for them to set it up: you were cold blooded, so you had a heater in your room during the winter, and thanks to a 'freak lightning strike', your house was under renovations for the whole season, this caused Jean to let you stay in her home until yours was repaired.

Now all they had to do was sneak in an 'cool it' down.

You awoke in the middle of the night due to the temperature suddenly dropping. You tried turning on your heater but that didn't work. You went downstairs to make some hot tea, unaware that Kaeya swapped the labels on Jean's coffee and your tea. After making the beverage you sat down in the warmest corner, covered in blankets, and with a warm drink in hand.

Fun fact! Spiders get hella drunk off caffeine.

You are a spider.

One sip of the coffee and you felt funny, you couldn't think straight and felt wobbly.

Kaeya and Lisa giggled watching you.

"So, how DID you get them drunk? You couldn't exactly have spiked their tea could you?" Lisa asked.

"I swapped the labels on their tea and Jeans coffee. Spiders get hella drunk on-" Kaeya noticed Lisa worried face, "fuck, what did I do this time?"

"Kaeya, spiders don't get drunk on caffeine like humans do with alcohol."

Lisa pointed Kaeya towards the window

"Whoops"

Caffeine doesn't make spiders drunk the same way alchohol does a person, which is what Kaeya expected.

Caffeine makes spiders hyper, very hyper.

When Jean heard skittering and clanging she thought someone was robbing the house, so she was reasonably surprised to see you lying in the center of the kitchen, crying, and with webs all over.

When she asked what happened you just rolled over and mumbled out gibberish about how you can't catch any flies.

Jean picked you up to take you to bed, but you wrapped your arms and legs around her and caused her to fall.

"(Y/n), please let me go." Jean pleaded.

You shushed her, "nap time" and fell asleep.

Your grip was to strong for her to get out, and with your weight she couldn't get up in this position, so she just had to wait for you to get up.

The next day Jean got up the same time as you, she would have said something if you didn't kiss her and pet her head.

"I love this dream." You said, nuzzling into the crook of her neck.

Jean was shocked, what dream? You were clearly awake.

"I wonder if Jean is this warm in real life....I wish I could find out..."

"(Y-y/n)" she stuttered out, "you're not dreaming."

You shot up with all your eyes wide as saucers.

You immediately thought of running. But where would you go? The forest? Yeah, that works, just go there a-

You felt a warm sensation on your cheek.

"So (y/n), how does this dream usually go?" Jean said with a suggestive wink.

.

.

.

"(Y/n)?"

404 error, reader.exe has crashed

After that rather unconventional confession session, you both started dating.

Jean was concerned about not having enough time for you, but that proved to be very unfounded. Thanks to your many years alone you didn't know what dating was, so to you simply working together was fine.

On every mission out of the city you would bring gifts or a picnic for when the sun was setting.

On days where you both had paper work you would make tea and buy little cakes or biscuits and sit on her lap as you rested on eachother's shoulders and fed each other snacks, under the excuse that "sharing a chair saves space".

On the rare occasion Jean gets to have a day off, she showers you in affection.

She'll make you breakfast in bed(it's not good 80% of the time, but you don't tell her), she'll cuddle with you all day, she'll even read to you if you want. She wants to give back to you for all the time she couldn't give you her full attention.

_____________________________

Xingqiu: it's like one of my Inazuman graphic novels

_____________________________

Your meeting with the guhua geek was far more coincidental.

You were just minding your business, catching some animals to eat, when some weird guy just walks by you, not noticing you at all, as he reads his book.

You were rather suprised and, by extension, curious about this boy.

Was he blind in peripheral? Was he that brave? Was he an idiot?

A bit of colum B, mostly colum C.

Xingqiu sat down on a rock and continued reading, given how he was reading aloud you figured you might as well take advantage of his lack of notice and learn to read.

But he did notice.

"Ah shoot, spaces out again." Xingqiu cried, "now I have to start all over."

Xingqiu started reading the book all over again, much to your joy.

You could easily match his words to the page thanks to your speed of comprehension.

When the boy noticed it was getting late he decided to head home, while you were upset you didn't try and stop him. In fact you immediately darted away before he saw you.

The next day he came back, and read from the same spot.

And again

And again

This went on for quite some time.

Xingqiu knew someone was watching him, but he never was able to catch a glimpse. He just figured it was someone who wanted to read legends of the shattered halberd but couldn't find any copies, and so the chivalrous thing to do would be to read it for them.

One day he finished the fifth book and proclaimed it was the last one, which made you rather sad.

Until he spoke to you.

"Well my secretive friend," he turned around, "shall w-"

You screamed

He screamed

For about five minutes.

After which you both just stared at eachother.

He pointed a shakey finger at you, "you're-"

You turned away, 'a freak I know' you thought.

"SO COOL!"

"What?"

Xingqiu immediately ran at you and started inspecting you.

The whole time he had such an amazed look on his face.

"Woah!" He said as he grabbed your mandibles, "are these real?!"

"Ye ey are, a ah ee e ah a" you said hoping he would understand that you need them to talk.

"Oh. Hehe. Sorry." He said releasing them.

"Aren't you...scared of me?" You asked.

"Why would I be? If you wanted to kill me you would have. It's not like I was particularly on guard when I was reading for you."

'Y-you knew I was there?"

"I knew someone was there, and I knew they were watching me read. Since you showed such interest in my book I thought the only chivalrous thing to do was to keep reading."

You were shocked, most people just ran and screamed upon seeing you.

"Now, shall we go look for the sixth book?"

After that you and Xingqiu became fast friends.

He used some of the money he made from the scam he pulled on that scammer to buy out the forest you lived in, making it officially private property so that people won't go after you.

He kept coming back with books for you both to read, you absolutely loved it!

And while you never realized it, you also loved him.

He however, did know he loved you.

Being the menace to society he is, Xingqiu decided the best way to confess was to just kiss you.

You're sitting on a stump with your head on Xingqiu's shoulder.

"This book isn't as good as the others." You say.

"Ah don't be like that, fairy tales are the foundation of all those 'knight in shining armor books' you love."

"Yeah but this is boring."

"True, true. But I think it has a great ending." Xingqiu turned to the final page, "and then the knight told the (royal title) how much he loved them, and to seal his love he placed a kiss on their cheek."

"That wasn't good."

"Why? It was very realistic."

"In what reality does someone confess by kiss-"

*smooch*

It took you a solid five seconds to process what happened.

Xingqiu smirked at you like the bastard man he is, "this one I believe."

Your mandibles hung slack as your face got a dark shade of blue.

"Uh, (y/n)?"

"Clothes off, now."

Xingqiu stumbled out the forest four hours later. Chongyun, who was protecting his privacy, asked him what's wrong.

"Absolutely nothing." He responded with the largest grin a human could muster, before his legs gave out, "can you carry me home?"

Your relationship was more steady than just that bit though.

Xingqiu spent as much time with you as he could, he even learned how to hunt so he could be with you while you hunted for food.

You never left your forest though, you were far to afraid of people and especially the vigilant yaksha(which Xingqiu tried to convince you was friendly).

Of course, not everything goes so simply.

Xingqiu was skipping through the forest, far to enamoured at the idea of you to notice someone following him.

You sat calmly on your rock and awaited your boyfriend of two years, today was his birthday so you made him a beautiful silk picture of his favorite scene from 'the legend of the broken halberd'

You felt the boy drop into your lap, "hello my love!"

You wrapped your arms and extra legs around him, "hello my little knight, I have a wonderful gift for-"

"XINQIU! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!"

You both turned around to see a man who looked oddly like Xingqiu.

"H-hey big bro..." Xingqiu said, clearly nervous.

"You're his brother?" You asked, "nice to meet you! I'm your future sibling in law!"

His brother looked surprised, then angry, "Xingqiu, a word."

"No," he responded, "anything you can say to me you can say to my (s/o)."

"Xingqiu, this is not a game."

"ANYTHING," Xingqiu said, far more aggressive, "you can say to me, you can say to them."

His brother sighed, "you can't date them."

"I believe I can."

"XINGQIU! ME AND FATHER HAVE TOLERATED ENOUGH OF YOUR CHILDISHNESS! YOU ARE AN HEIR OF THE FEIYUN COMMERCE GUILD, YOU CANNOT DATE THAT-THAT THING!"

Xingqiu shot up into a fighting stance, "care to repeat that?"

Xingqiu stared down his brother with murderous intent.

"So you wont back down?"

"Never, I love (y/n) to much!"

"If you don't leave them, you'll be disowned by father, all your wealth, power, and influence will be forfeited. All for an inhuman freak!"

"Xinqiu please," you tried telling your beloved, "I won't let you sacrifice-"

"Sorry darling, but I don't give a damn." He interrupted you before turning to his brother, "I will NOT abandon my beloved (y/n)! They are the most precious thing in the world to me! So go ahead! Strip me if my title, my riches, of my very skin! My heart will yearn for nothing else but the cold hard touch of love that is my (s/o)!"

Xinqiu's brother smirked

"So, you promise to always be with (y/n)?"

"Yes!"

"Through both sickness and health?"

As smart as he was, Xinqiu couldn't see what was happening, "with all my heart and soul!"

"And you would take (Y/N) as your contractually bound spouse?"

"I would sooner bite my arm off than live another day without them as such! In fact!" Xinqiu turned to you, "(Y/N)! WE'RE GOING TO GET MARRIED RIGHT NOW! COME ON!"

"Hold it!" His brother demanded, "(Y/N)! Would you stay with my brother, Xinqiu, through sickness and health, through rags and riches?"

You nodded, "forever and always!"

"And would you take him to be your contractually bound husband?"

"E-even if I had to fight Rex Lapis himself!"

Two burly hands grabbed the couple and pushed them together, "You may now kiss the bride!"

Without thought, you two kissed each other, not thinking to question the cheering, clapping, and crying-

You both pulled apart, "what the abyss is happening here?!"

The burly arms, now wrapping you both, was an older crying man who also looked like Xinqiu.

Xinqiu's Brother was crying and clapping.

Chongyun was blasting off party cones(🎉🎉these things)

And several other of Xinqiu's friends were there celebrating.

"W-wait..." Xinqiu started to remember that his brother, as a high ranking member of a commerce guild, can officiate marriages.

The older man, Xinqiu's father, cried and said, "finally! Grandchildren!"

(If you can't have babies, adoption exists and is perfectly normal)

Needless to say

404 error, Xinqiu.exe and Reader.exe have stopped working

_____________________________

Razor: the big bad spider and the itsy bitsy spider

_____________________________

(Please understand that my knowledge of Razor is based on his quest, I know of his special vision but it won't be brought up for this. I will be sure to read the wiki page for him if I write him again)

Razor knew something was wrong.

His wolf side told him something was wrong with the forest, and his human side told him it should be either avoided at all cost or destroyed.

Because it had stayed away he had largely tried to just avoid it and keep his lupical away from whatever IT is.

Until a foolish pup decided to try and defeat whatever big bad monster had their protector so scared.

Razor ran faster than any lightning bolt upon hearing the news.

Razor didn't know what he was seeing: giant webs strewn out covering entire trees, boars and Hilichurls wrapped in webs and frozen in a sickly green.

And at the center of it all was a giant, monstrous creature with eight leg like roots coming from it's back, feeding off the life of all the creatures stuck here.

This is what he was afraid of, the beast that every inch of his primal self screamed to get away from.

But he couldn't, not until he found the pup!-

"Hello." You said calmly to the strange man coming into your home, "is this your's?"

You outstretched your hand and a sleeping pup drifted towards razor on a flower.

"He caused lots of problems, so I made him sleep. Don't worry, it's nothing permanent, give him an hour or two and he'll be right up."

After Razor left, you assumed that would be the last disturbance for a while.

But it wasn't.

Razor's wolf half still feared you, was still mortified when he pictured your spider like face, your towering body, everything.

But his human half...teembled.

Not in fear, but in a different way.

He couldn't stop thinking of you, and his primal upbringing did little to quell the less romantic thoughts about your gem like eyes, the way your mandibles clicked and moved when you talked, the overwhelming nature energy that you radiated.

But he still knew good enough to get to know you better.

Just not HOW to do it.

"Why are you spider?"

Is not a good first thing to ask.

But you explained regardless: you were taken as a kid and experimented on by some rogue students from Sumeru academy.

Then some purple lady rescued you, and while you were grateful you much preferred living out in the wild.

"Yes...wild is good! Wolvendom, especially good!"

Someone please help him.

"Purple lady....ah! Shockey wizard lady from knights?"

You nodded

"Razor good friends with her and honorary knight! Do you know red flamy girl?"

"Klee? Oh yes! I love her! She's such a nice kid!"

"Yes, Klee is like lupical! Even if she...burns down forest from time to time."

Lucky for him, your shared familial love for the pyromaniacal minor helped bridge the gap between you two.

Eventually he even got you to leave your grotto(?) And meet his lupical!

He introduced you to the wonders of actually eating rather than just sucking the life force out of animals.

You both love and protect the forest of wolvendom, and if any large threat arises to it then you both will fight fang and claw to protect your home!

Neither of you know what love is in the human sense, but you both feel it to each other and act upon it: giving each other a portion of your food, taking blows in battle for each other, and cuddling more intimately than just friends would.

You are his lupical, and so much more.

_____________________________

I started this near last year's end, it took me till now to realize I should only do 3 characters.

(Paging: @golden-wingseos, @storytravelled)

[boldlyanxious]

Remember when 12

the Right thing

Timinette

RW masterlist

They had argued back and forth for hours after bringing Marinette back to the base. Everything was circumstantial. They all had heard her talking with the supposed captors freely. No one could prove either way whether she had been there willingly. Batgirl had gotten information from her and Red Robin had been close enough to hear but the others were not close enough so they could only go by what they had seen. She was giving them information and when the time came they were leaving with her.

She had basically broken their drug ring case wide open and claimed it was all an accident. They knew there was a new product and new players but no one had any information on it until last night. Oracle displayed it on the screen and they confirmed the 3 men involved. They had been working with Falcone but apparently they decided to take over the drug trade with their new product. All had been actively seeking Batman when Black Mask had put a large bounty on him. How they began working together was unknown.

Jack Buchinsky--Electrocutioner-

-Costume can generate electric shocks

-alias Jack Gruber

Lieutenant Howard Branden

-former SWAT GCPD

-corrupt cop

Garfield Lynns--Firefly

-pyro terrorist

-costume with flight capabilities

Nightwing had actually become almost convinced. He still had questions and doubts but believed what the others had seen and didn't think she seemed like she was plotting. He made the case that she had been seen and connected to the men and therefore would not be safe on her own. Hood was convinced by this argument and Batgirl and Oracle stopped arguing the point. The discussion ended and they all went about their day.

Red Robin went off to sleep. She was fed and someone sat with her throughout the day. Batgirl had the last shift before patrol. She brought her dinner and fresh clothes. Batgirl was adjusting the equipment so she could put on a movie. Red Robin was careful not to be seen entering the Batcave. He had to wait until daylight was fading and it worked it perfectly with Batgirl being the least likely to stop him.

"You aren't trying to sneak up on me are you?" Batgirl said without turning around. "You think your plan is a shock to me?"

"I think you know I am right. You will either help me or not try to stop me." Red Robin replied.

"What if I try to stop you?"

"I think you won't. You remember when it was you in a similar position. You know this is wrong."

"She can't know how to get back here."

He held up a blind fold that he had with his spare helmet. She nodded and walked away. Red Robin approached Marinette. Since she was no longer needing medical treatment she had been moved to a chair but her hands were still cuffed to it so she couldn't get to the manor from the inside or outside. He picked up the keys and unshackled her hands.

"Come," he said.

She followed after him rubbing her wrists a bit. They were not locked painfully but they still felt funny being released after so long. When they got to his motorcycle he explained that she would need to be blindfolded to protect the location. She nodded and he wrapped the cloth around her face before helping her put the helmet on.

Once she was securely behind him in the motorcycle with her arms around him from behind he rode off. He wove in and out of the cars and traveled up and down the streets with no particular location in mind, but just to confuse her sense of direction. He pulled into a parking garage and rode all the way to the top. It was within a mile of the coffee shop that she worked at and not far from the grocery store so he suspected she lived close.

He helped her off and undid the blindfold every though she probably could have managed on her own. She wasn't sure how she felt about him now. He hadn't positively responded to any of her flirting even if it made him blush but he had defended her and probably upset his team by helping her escape. Part of her really wanted to ride away with him on his motorcycle. She didn't know if she liked the idea of running away with him or if she really liked the feeling of leaning against him. He pulled her out of her thoughts by asking a question.

"Will you be okay from here? Will the magic you use work?"

"I just have to say the magic words," she responded. "Are they going to be mad at you?"

"Yes. But it is the right thing to do. They will get over it eventually."

---

"So you just let him walk out of here with her?" Batman asked.

"What else should I have done? He is right about this." Batgirl replied.

"We still need information from her and she is probably in danger. These men are not known for being nice." Nightwing added.

"You cannot protect people from evil by becoming evil. We should be better than that," Batgirl said before walking off.

"I found something on her," Oracle said. "My search was taking too long but then I remembered the French connection."

She loaded information on the screen. It was reports from Paris a few years back. The hero was called Ladybug and with her partner Chat Noir fought Hawkmoth for control of magical artifacts. As she searched she added more information for them to read. Knowing a location helped her search Paris records for an aged down picture of Rouge Gorge/Ladybug as a civilian.

It was another hour before they could put together the entire story. The public didn't seem to put together her identity but the bat family had already seen her unmasked. There was a defeat of the villain and the heroes had given a very odd press conference about it. They had recovered the artifacts but Chat Noir had done most of the speaking which was a change from how their past interactions had been.

As a civilian, Marinette had been treated by a series of doctors for amnesia from a supposed fall. Her memory was affected for several years of time. She no longer remembered her close friends and little was known about how to treat it. The story was told on a popular blog as a follow up a little over a month after the 'fall' because the girl was at the hospital again. This time after a fire.

She ran from the hospital during the night. It was later discovered that the arsonist was paid to set the bakery on fire and she was not supposed to escape. With her parents dead and her memories gone, no one knew where to look for her. She hadn't been seen since. Oracle checked the name in a number of databases and travel records. It hadn't been used for anything since then.

"That isn't the name she used at her job." Nightwing said. "Her name tag said Val."

"I already tried for records from the coffee shop. She doesn't exist in their records. Her employer probably pays her in cash." Oracle explained.

"So she is just in hiding here and accidentally cracked our drug ring case?" Hood asked.

"She was worried when she was shown the video of herself. All the information gathered strongly suggests she was hiding from this Hawkmoth, who was probably responsible for the fire." Oracle said.

Next

Taglist

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**the speed of this update brought to you by collective outrage and inspiration. 😘

[sanstropfremir]

the hotly anticipated kingdom episode 7 review is here!!

this episode was a lot less spectacle-y than the last one (the last episode with stages, i mean), and i think that was a good choice for all the groups on the whole to tone it down on the run up to the finale, because at the rate everyone was headed there would be no room to go any higher. i'm very glad that there was actually a collab stage and not just a song swap, especially because it gives a chance for the boys to work together and make friends when they otherwise arent going to be able to interact much. love love love to see them making friends and having fun doing these stages!

i'm not really sure why mnet didnt put the vocal stage this episode, because what on earth else are they going to put in the next episode with it??? i know it's a content stretch but still, it seems like a weird choice to me. anyways, there’s four stages for me to talk about this time and i'm going to try to not ramble out of control, but we’ll see. i did enjoy watching all of these, but we’ve all got favourites and i'm going to rank by which group i liked better out of the two for each stage, and then i put a few conclusions at the end. strap in folks this is another long one.

rap stages

skz + btob + atz

i was actually really surprised at how much i liked this stage. i would not classify myself as a rap fan and believe it or not i actually do not place a lot of importance on lyrics when enjoying music. although i have very high lyric retention and comprehension, i focus more on the sound than the literal words, so a fair amount of rap is swing-and-a-miss in my personal listening. plus when you add a language barrier on top of that, a lot of the nuance and technical skill of it just flies over my head. so i really dont have much to say about the sonic elements this time around, sorry. also.....i know i joked that nobody from the kingdom staff is reading my reviews.....but is someone from the kingdom staff reading my reviews????? i specifically mentioned that i think skz should do an art themed stage and then we got one????? i know i manifested the punk ateez stage but did i manifest this also??? am i just that powerful???

costume

obviously these are pretty basic rap/hiphop stage looks, but the white was a really good choice for visibility’s sake, and also thematically: it reflects the colours in the lighting really well.

i am DYING to know who the designer of minhyuks jacket is. if somebody knows please tell me i love it so much. it looks like some of the recent belted jackets that dior was putting out, but the drawing on the front armscythe piece reminds me of the superm/kim junggi collab for tiger inside. say whatever you want about superm, but you cannot deny that that is not some of the coolest merch on the kpop scene.

loved the traditional korean elements that came through in addition to the western references: the screens, hongjoong’s fan, minhyuk’s big fuckoff brush, the masks, and the sleeves on the dancers at minhyuk’s bit. those are a costume feature from a style of korean traditional masked dance called bongsan talchum. the masks themselves are versions of hahoetal masks, which are used in a very specific archetypal ritual dance in andong. i think these are imae masks, who is the servant/fool archetype that mocks the nobleman and the scholar. i suspect that was a deliberate choice, but i can only speculate.

another point about the masks which is not relevant but maybe a fun fact for people who don’t know. i actually thought at first that they were western theatre half masks, which are a very old style of mask that, like with hahoetal masks, represent a number of archetypes/stock characters. maskwork is a very common training practice in theatre schools, because it teaches body language and control, because half your face is covered and you cannot speak in your own voice (sometimes you cannot speak at all, this is one of the rules of full mask). the tradition of usings masks to portray emotion goes all the way back to the ancient greek chorus, but more commonly people in the west sometimes know it from the italian commedia dell’arte, of which you will have definitely seen some of the character archetypes before. i just find it neat that the same types of art pop up in different places seemingly independently of each other. humans are cool.

set

not much to say here, it's pretty bare with just some propwork. thought the screen use was fun and they used it smartly in a couple of transitions. 

thought changbin’s bit of ‘interrupting’ the artists was cute and fun. there’s obviously a picasso reference there, and the four technicolour paintings are a reference to andy warhol’s pop art silkscreen portraits, most famously of marilyn monroe, but he also did many other celebrities in the 70s and 80s.

lighting

i LOVED this lighting. super bright and fun, lots of use of colour, obviously. the projections were there to enhance the visuals and weren’t distracting in any way. i thought the transition to black and white/ink with minhyuk was smart and had good contrast, it gave a strong rhythm to build back up to for the climax.

sound

bang chan’s ‘spelling colour with a u’ bit had me SCREAMING with laughter. we spell colour with a u normally bang chan, the americans are the ones that are wrong. 

staging

i don’t really have a whole lot to say here, it was pretty straightforward and fun. like i’ve said in previous reviews, i wish they were more conscious of the steadicam direction and would stop showing extended bits of the production crew. at least everyone was wearing full blacks this time.

fun use of the upward angle combined with the groundwork/leg choreo during hongjoong’s verse, that was a highlight for me.

sf9 + tbz + ikon

nothing against this stage, the other one just hit harder for me. bobby is the best rapper on the show and he really carried this stage with his charisma. he’s a fun performer to watch and he knows how to command a space. i'm sure there’s technical notes that people have about the raps themselves, but i'm here looking at visuals as a priority, which i'm sure you’ve all grasped at this point.

costume

these were clearly extensions of these idol’s personal styles, with is a perfectly fine choice, especially for a rap stage where the emphasis is more on authorship. LOVED bobby’s 11yro girl at recess look.

amusing that both rap stages involved paint in some way? loved the backup dancers shooting supersoakers filled with paint at them, but i wish i knew the reason for it? i'm glad i saw this stage first because i would have been underwhelmed by the paint throwing if i had seen this after rainbow bonanza.

set

almost no set at all here, just a few props. i'm not judging as harshly on lack of set this round because these stages are meant to be more about skill than anything else. 

lighting

i loved the projections, i thought they were unobtrusive and i admit, i LOVE outer space themed anything.

i liked that they did more concert lighting and had no projections in the first half to put more focus on the performers, it really highlighted the fact that this stage was about them, and not about anything extraneous.

sound

it was indeed a song.

staging

i do wish there had been a bit more control of the space, because it did look very empty at some parts and they could have staved that off by keeping tighter camera shots. this stage is so fucking big, holy shit.

they really brought their onstage chemistry and they looked like they were having a blast, which FINALLY!! 

i actually really liked hwiyoung’s opening, i think there was a lot of potential there for some sharp contrast work that i wish had been played through a little more, especially with the cool white light overtop the black costumes. it actually reminded me a bit of the intro in the music video from a rapper i do actually listen to, bewhy’s gottasadae.

glad to see some more use of camera effects with the black and white, but why did they do it over the paint throwing? it just made the trajectory of the paint invisible because there was no colour contrast.

performance stages

sf9 + tbz + ikon

ok obviously im gonna have a lot more to say about the performance stages, nobody is surprised there. this one was the better constructed of the two and my personal pick for better stage, but i actually liked watching the both of them equally.

costume

king shit, literally. we love contemporary hanbok in this house. there was good colour and style distinction between the three of them without clashing. 

costume change was fun and neatly blocked, it's pretty common to see backup dancers and chorus hiding quickchanges but i liked how this was a more unusual formation.

taeyang rocking the organza skirt and the big purple eyeshadow, thank you for keeping it cunty as always.

i really liked juyeon’s underlayer look. finally we get a good tbz costume look thats thematically relevant!

set

like all the stages this round, pretty minimal. the setting was almost entirely established through the costumes and the projections, which is some really good designwork. it's pretty much just the litters (the lifted chairs they entered on), and some smaller props. they managed to not make the stage feel empty because there was a lot of projection visuals to compensate, which is difficult to do without being overbearing, but i think they mostly pulled it off.

i originally thought it was gonna be weird to try and mesh the traditional korean architectural aesthetic with the weird mnet deco, but i ended up not noticing it as much as i thought i would.

lighting

like i just said, projections very well done and do a fantastic job of conveying setting without being overly distracting. like with the atz/skz/btob rap stage there’s a really broad range of colour use here that they offset by brightening and properly fill lighting the faces so you can actually see what’s happening.

the use of the strobing lasers and more concert style lighting fit really well with the change in the music from traditional instrument sounds to electronica and the more hiphop/isolated movements.

sound

i liked it well enough! i think it had a good arc that we can see echoed through the rest of the piece, like previously stated in the lighting and movement style. 

staging

like i mentioned with the quickchange, there was some really interesting formations using the backup dancers here, especially as a lead toward/away from the camera

having the three of them enter on litters; again, literal king shit, love to see it.

this has a pretty clear narrative that doesnt really need an external explanation, which is good. i have to assume that the burning of the paper with 妃 (concubine) is intended to be a gesture of ‘burning’ the love out of their hearts, but that was the only thing i'm still confused on. this may very well turn out to be a reference to a specific story that i just have no idea what it is, but we’ll see once the subs are out!

i loved juyeons solo bit with the alcohol drinking and the table flip, that was the choreographic highlight for me. i just really wish he would use the other muscles in his face more often. we know youre pretty, you dont have to blue steel your way through all your performances!! take a page out of donghyuk’s book and make some ugly faces, it's good for you!!

i though taeyang’s swordwork was fine, but since i do actually have a decade of sword training i'm very judgemental. it's not bad, he obviously has practiced with the weapon and he knows how to control it, but he doesn’t have the same understanding as someone who has trained with a sword as a weapon and not just as a prop. if we hadn’t seen another stage with swordwork in it i probably wouldn’t have brought this up (that's a lie, i still would have brought it up, i have a third dan), but you can really see the difference between how minhyuk moves with his sword and how taeyang moves. a lot of this has to do with the proper weighting of the blade, which i mention briefly in my second episode review in btob’s section (and also this ask here, where i talk about properly weighted weapons in relation to the gun choreo in sf9’s and ateez’s previous stages); minhyuk is likely using a ‘real’ sword (it’s blunted but still made using proper methods and materials), and taeyang is using a cheaper-made replica (unless you’re doing full contact striking a LOT there’s no way a properly made blade breaks like that. also you would never tape it together hello??? respect the blade). if you know what you’re looking for, you can tell from the movements themselves when someone has training. minhyuk did a load of real training for a film where he was a swordsman, and you can tell; the sword is an extension of his arm, all the movements lead with the tip of the blade first, because that’s your first, your fastest, and your most dangerous point. you do 90% of your cutting with the first eight inches of blade, but it takes a lot of specific training to get your hands and arms to a place where that kind of movement is possible. taeyang’s movements are driven from his hands, which is unsurprising, because that’s where he’s used to his extensions stopping. the tip follows rather than leads. wow this got insanely sidetracked i hope you liked this crash course on swordwork.

this is pretty much what i expected to see from this unit. these three groups all have standout soloists, so i wasn’t surprised to see these three boys as the picks. juyeon and taeyang especially, theyre both from groups that are more likely to do experimental stages and choreography that highlights them as soloists and skilled dancers.

skz + btob + atz

this was a letdown from ateez’s last two stages, because they knocked those out of the park, but it's only fair that they have a bit of a fall. that being said, i did really enjoy watching this for its sheer ridiculousness; i’m forgiving the wolf concept this time because well, it’s wolf. you can't cover wolf and not do a wolf concept, that’s against the law. also, like i’ve said before, i'm all for dark concepts IF you give them thematic weight. is it on the nose? yes. is it thematically relevant? also yes. is it dumb? also also yes, but that’s never stopped a single kpop group in the history of ever.

costume

friendship restored with ateez stylists, rivalry started with skz stylists. the fur shoulder fluffs??? stupid and i love them. perfect in every way. however i keep seeing the same fucking costumes on the skz boys and i will come directly for the stylists at jype if they dont get their shit together. be! more! creative!!!

i really really wish they had gone more 2013 kpop with it, we need more of that ugly ridiculous styling. peniel was actually pretty close, with the overly long tunic and those yellow lenses. very vixx on and on (yes i know they were vampires from outer space, let me live)

i actually thought the wolf gloves were fun? the small bits of uv paint actually worked instead of looking out of place, and i'm glad they put them on wooyoung because the uglier an outfit, the better he pulls it off. 

set

same dice, just the long table and the camo net at the beginning, which i thought was unnecessary. the table was useful for levels though, so happy to see they utilized that.

lighting

there is so much happening all the time. lots of lasers. it's definitely aiming for camp territory, and i dont actually hate it as much as i did on my first watch. it actually wasn’t as dark as i thought either, because its mostly lit with blue and amber. but it doesn’t really have that great of an arc and its not really that good on the whole.

the projections are a bit much for me, but that’s only when i'm actually looking at them. true to form, i didn’t even notice the excess of red slashes until like my fourth rewatch because i was too busy watching the performers.

sound

rookie exo my beloved. the original wolf goes so hard for absolutely no reason, so i’m not knocking this stage for being ridiculous. in fact it should have been more ridiculous. i think they did a fine job updating the song for a.....less 2013 sound. 

i like that they didn’t bother to live sing the stage even though they recorded vocals for it, it gave them all a chance to actually focus on just the dance.

that being said, i am kind of missing all the adlibs from the original. but even though there’s some strong vocalists in this unit, they aren’t made of the same stuff as baekhyun, luhan, chen, AND d.o.

i literally just realized that peniel had already debuted when this song came out AND is technically exo’s senior because btob debuted like two weeks before exo officially did.....oh no

staging

choreographically this feels a lot more like the skz stages that we’ve seen rather than the ateez ones, so i'm curious as to who the choreographer was. 

the tricking was definitely more ridiculous in this one, but i can't really say any of it was there for no reason because it all had elements of fighting in it. the scale of the tricks was quite large though and not very well blended with the rest of the choreo, which ending up making them look awkward. i thought it was a nice detail that they shone a green toplight on the dancers that made up the cliff wooyoung climbed up so that it looked like there was grass on it. cute.

the blocking is lacking a lot of fluidity, and i think that’s partially the scale of the tricking and also the editing, because this editing is TERRIBLE. there’s so much cutting, why is there so much cutting!! haven’t we already learned that longtakes are the best for this???

there’s a lot of stuff here that had good potential but could have been pushed a little farther. i feel like i say this for every mediocre stage, but what can i say, i'm good at constructive criticism. 

they should have given more showcase to the tree and the scratching arms; it's the most iconic move!! i also wish they had kept some kind of iteration of the different unit ‘leaping’ in over the exiting one, i always thought that part of the original choreo was really fun and did a lot for establishing them as wolves. 

i LOVED peniel entering with all those backup dancers in chains, thats some fucking iconic shit. very ‘im the alpha wolf,’ which is valid because he’s like at LEAST five years older than everyone else on the stage. i wish that instead of being the backup dancers it was the actual members, because THAT would have been an image. theyre all wearing harnesses and collars anyways, just clip em in! he’d be like one of those dogwalkers!

me last week: specifically talking about how krump is an uncommon style in kpop and it's very hard to get right kingdom, throwing the manifesting dodgeball at me for the third time: here would you like a KRUMP SOLO?

if you didnt believe me before that krump is hard to get right, i sure hope you do now. peniel did fine, but you can see how easily you can veer off into looking ridiculous.

some conclusions

i mentioned this really briefly in an ask i got earlier today, but i do think it's important to establish that the two performance units are doing two different types of performances. i can understand why people are underwhelmed by the atz/skz/btob stage and wanted it to be less of a traditional kpop dance stage and more like the experimental stages we’ve been seeing for the last few weeks. and i agree! i think they could have done more with it. but i also think that this kind of stage was a good choice for this particular subunit. unlike with the sf9/tbz/ikon unit, there are not really any standout technical soloists in ateez or skz. ateez has, in my opinion, the highest ratio of dancers with actual stage presence of any of the 4th gen groups ive seen. they’re at a solid 75% for any given performance, and occasionally they can bump that higher depending on the stage. that high of a stat is rare. it's extremely rare for a group to have all its members have good stage presence (i can think of like, maybe two or three?), and to get over 50% is pretty damn impressive. but ateez’s strength isn’t in how good they individually are as dancers, but it's in how well they work together. there’s a reason why they put FIVE of them in the performance unit. one of the first things i said about ateez to hanya is ‘i love wooyoung but he doesn’t stand out when he's not centre.’ which is for good reason!! he’s not supposed to! they all willingly give up centre and take it back when they need to, because they have that charisma. there’s a very cohesive push and pull to watching ateez that speaks to their strengths as performers. dancing in a group where you are all meant to be equal is a very different skill than just being a talented soloist. you have to understand what to prioritize in a different way. taemin dances differently with shinee that he does in his solo career, especially since they’ve been back. he understands when to step back; more often than not i find key to be the standout dancer in shinee choreo.

this is a very long winded way of saying that wolf was a good choice for them even though the stage didn’t turn out as well as it could have. also the fact that they made a cohesive performance at all, with a week of rehearsal and while working with essentially strangers is a feat and speaks to all of their skill at their job. performing in a group is a huge part of kpop, and they did call this the performance stage, and not the dance stage.

i'm not entirely sure on what the breakdown is on why each of the subunits were formed. i know the team sizes are extremely uneven, with sf9/tbz/ikon clocking in at 26 people and atz/skz/btob clocking in at 17 (i'm not counting changsub because he's not there and probably has a scheduling conflict), which is like, a whole extra group of difference. but atz/skz/btob utilizing their whole groups for each of the units (5/3/1 for performance, 1/3/1 for rap, and 1/1/1 for vocal, for 7/7/3 total), verses sf9/tbz/ikon only bringing out six people for these two stages and then six for the vocal stage is......weird? that's over half of their group number that’s not performing. i do think the groups brought out their standout performers and made smart choices with the stages but the balance still strikes me as odd. i do wish tbz had actually done some group choreo because they are very strong group performers and it would have been fun to watch.

ateez really played the long game here, good job boys. teaming up with the group who gets the highest fan votes AND the group with the strongest technical skills? i see you.

i think this is probably too wild of an assumption and is only based on circumstantial evidence but.....i think hongjoong might actually have a lot more creative sway than i previously thought. all the stages he’s been a part of have been very well designed, and i know he provided suggestions for the two ateez stages prior to this... i’m probably thinking too much. 

ok you know what i know there were some other points in my brain somewhere but this is already 4000 words so i’m going to stop. if i remember anything else its probably gonna end up in the answer to some of the asks i’m inevitably going to get because i think my opinions on these ones are a little bit more controversial, whoops!

not entirely sure if ill do an extensive review for next week’s stage, because i'm not really a ballad fan and i dont really do vocal reviews, but i could do a quick one. i guess it also depends on what else they put in the episode. we’ll see!!

[deexchanel]

When he sees me

Word Count: 1400

Summary: Empriss prepares for her first date with Bucky.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x BlackFem!OC, Steve x Fem!OC

Warning: Fluff and singing!

A/N: (If you do not like singing in one-shots then read something else!) When I wrote this one-shot when I obsessed with the song . “When he sees me” from Waitress the musical.😆 so link to the song right here so you can listen to it while you read!

https://youtu.be/-H-uxwvJT2c

Empriss sat in front of her vanity nervous while Hermione curls her hair. Bucky had Steve to help him ask her on a date. They had been liking each other for a while but never had the nerve to ask each until he did.

"Are you nervous bestie?" Emma asked while working her magic.

"I stick with real things, usually facts and figures. When information's in its place, I minimize the guessing game. Guess what?" Empriss sing basically rambling not wanting to admit she was.

"What? Empriss answer the question. It's a simple one!" Hermione stated grabbing another piece of hair to curl it.

"I don't like guessing game, or when I feel things before I know the feelings. How am I supposed to operate if I'm just tossed around by fate? Like on an unexpected date?" Empriss sing turning to look at Alexis. She rolled her eyes letting the last curl fall.

"Empriss you're overthinking. It's just Bucky, this maybe the chance for you to get to finally know each other!"

"With a stranger who might talk too fast. Or ask me questions about myself. Before I've decided that he can ask me questions about myself." Empriss cross her arms over her chest. She stood up going to her closet.

"He might sit too close or call the waiter by his first name or eat Oreos. But eat the cookie before the cream." Hermione mocked jokingly so Empriss could hear how crazy she sound.

But Empriss thought she was finally understanding what she was thinking about. "But what scares me the most. What scares me the most?"

"Is what if when he sees me, what if he doesn't like it? What if he runs the other way and I can't hide from it? What happens then?" Empriss sing holding up a dress. Hermione tilt her head examing it but she doesn't like it so she shake her head no.

Empriss throws it behind her grabbing a couple more to try on. She wanted to pick out the best dress for him. "If when he knows me, he's only disappointed? What if I give myself away, to only get it given back? I couldn't live with that."

"So, I'm just fine, inside my shell-shaped mind. This way I get the best view. So that when he sees me, I want him too." Empriss sing confidently picking up the perfect dress. She shakes it in excitement then walks over to the bed.

"Dawn, don't you think you're being a little, I mean maybe just a tad." Hermione trailed off not wanting to call her crazy. Hermione phone dinged signaling that Steve texted her. "Steve said they're back in the building! Put a little pep in your step bestie!"

"I'm not defensive! I'm simply being cautious, I can't risk reckless dating. Due to my miscalculating."Empriss sing sitting in front of the vanity again. "While a certain suitor stands in line I've seen in movie. Most made for television."

She used her talents to do the best makeup look. "You cannot be too careful, when it comes to sharing your life. I could end up a miserable wife."

Bucky held the red roses bouquet in his hands nervously. "What if she doesn't like me Steve? What if she doesn't like my arm or how I eat or something. What-"

Steve cuts him off, "It's going go good Buck. I know Empriss personally, she doesn't judge people."

"Okay Steve, I'm going to take your word on it. Is she beautiful?" Bucky wondered since he haven't seen what she looked like yet. Steve pat a hand on his shoulder smirking.

"Beautiful as ever."

"Emrpiss you're killing me. Bucky is the best person I've ever known. He's so cute and super sweet." Hermione assured sitting on top of the vanity. " What are you so scared about?"

"Sorry girl, but he could be criminal, some sort of psychopath. Who escaped from an institution,somewhere where they don't have girls." Empriss sing letting her imagination run wild. Hermione sigh taking the brush from her hand so she could do upwards strokes on her face.

"He could have masterminded some way to find me. He could be colorblind. How untrustworthy is that? He could be less than kind." Hermione sing mocking her again. She leaned back once she was finished with the makeup. "Empriss I got to admit it. Your nervousness making you sound crazy."

Empriss rolled her eyes continuing. "Or even worse he could be very nice, have lovely eyes and make me laugh, come out of hiding. What do I do with that?" She sing somberly fumbling with a makeup brush. Hermione lifted Empriss face so their eyes could meet.

"Empriss this is going to be the best date okay?" Be the confident best friend I know. This isn't going to be like what you had with little dick Tyler. Bucky's going to treat you so much better."

Empriss smiled and her eyes twinkled in excitement. She rushed to the bathroom with her dress in hand. Bucky and Steve arrived at the door. The winter soldier hand was held in front of the door so he could knock until he heard the girl's inside.

"Why aren't you knocking?" Steve asked confused and Bucky held a 'shh' then pointed at his ear then at the door. Both guys placed their ear again the door so they could hear better.

Empriss twirled around in her outfit happily, "Oh, god what if when he sees me I like him and he knows it? What if he opens up a door and I can't close it?" She grabbed Hermione’s hands they both giggled dancing around the room.

"What happens then? If when he holds me, my heart is set in motion I'm not prepared for that. I'm scared of breaking open." Empriss sing hitting a high note. "But still I can't help from hoping."

The music get softer and Emrpiss fall back on the bed, "To find someone to talk to,who likes the way I am. Someone who when he sees me....Wants to again."

Hermione clapped at the beautiful song that she sing, "You're voice is amazinggg!! They should be here any minute, ready to go?"

Empriss nodded her head, "That's you with the beautiful voice bestie. I'm ready!" She gets up from the bed grabbing odds and ins to take with her. Bucky was blown away by her amazing voice. He knocked on the door and in a matter of seconds Hermione opened the door.

"Hi Bucky! Hey baby!"

"Hey Hermione." Bucky smile. Steve leans down giving her a sweet kiss on the lips.

"Hey baby."

Empriss walked over standing beside Hermione. Bucky mouth was agape from her being totally different from what he thought of. "I'm um- uh-."

He stuttered over his words blushing and Steve helped him out like a good friend would. "This is Bucky, my best friend."

All Bucky could do was hold out her flowers towards her which she happily took. "My name is Empriss and Thank you Bucky! These are beautiful." She stands on her tippy toes placing a kiss on his cheek. "I prefer hibiscus flowers but roses are my second fave."

"I'm glad you like them." Bucky smiled looking her lovingly. Hermione took that as a sign that they needed to leave.

"Well me and Steve are going to have dinner with Tony and Lori. See y'all when y'all get back! Have fun!"

Everyone bid goodbyes and it was just Empriss and Bucky left. She was putting the flowers in some water.

"Where are we going for our date? I wanna know if I'm too dressed up."

"Oh we're going to a restaurant and if you didn't mind, afterwards I was going to take us go the beach."

"I love the beach. Let me grab a swimsuit and we can go." Empriss smiled which hooked Bucky on. He bit his lip fighting every temptation to kiss her.Unknowingly to him, she wanted to as well. You only live once so fuck it.

Empriss grabbed his shirt placing a passionate kiss on his lips. Bucky grabbed her waist pulling her closer to him. He deepen the kiss as his hands guides down to her ass, gripping it. The both pulled back with smiles on their face.

"I'm going to enjoy this date with you."

"Me too. I like it already."

———————-

Hermione is @kalopsia-flaneur 💞

I hope you guys enjoyed it.

I thought this was really cute and corny.

Stay slutty my friendsss 😉

[hawaiian-has-moved]

you aren’t cannon. beetlebabes is more cannon than you. at least that shit was in the musical and movie and cartoon.

Need I remind you idiots, since I have already said I'm no longer being nice to you anymore.

That I do not give a damn what you think it looked like to you in that fucked up brain of yours, it's still p*dophilia. Man it's almost sad I live this rent free in your head for existing. I just exist and your blood boils. It's cute.

Anyway, Lydia is a minor in every version.

And if you think the wedding in the movie was romantic. Man every gross man I've cringed at for being a creepo must have been true love.

But see, that's the thing you people don't get huh? Consent. Consent does not exist to you. If it did you wouldn't fight when people say that Lydia is a minor and therefore cannot consent. It doesn't click because you found something hot about shipping this developing teen with this old as fuck perv.

But oh? Is that not enough for you, you cry, begging to justify your vile ship. Allow me to humor you and go through the other versions.

In fact! I'll analyze a whole song just for you.

Also please look at yet another picture of Lydia obviously not having it.

Way back when I was just ten

Simple and sweet

Everywhere, fellas would stare

Out on the street

And I felt used

Kinda confused

I would refuse to look in their eyes

But now I really love creepy old guys

This is kinda obvious, she's been preyed on before by men. So basic p*do trying to gr**m a kid scenario. But the satire to the song of course is that "it's all fine now" Which it's obviously not, she's just using this to trick him so they can send him back as an end goal.

We all do!

Gum disease

Skin like grilled cheese

Saggy old asses

(Saggy old asses)

Cute and vile

Hey baby, smile

To each girl that passes

They make me blush

(Can't get enough)

Now one of 'em loves me, wants to be mine

(That's right)

Marrying my own creepy old guy!

(I'm a creepy old guy)

This is just more playing out the satire of pretending it's okay, but with Beej chiming in because he already lacks the knowledge that this is grooming and it's not okay. Tricking him into thinking this is fine to end up killing him is a breeze.

My creepy old guy, my creepy old guy

I'm so happy I could cry

Girls may seem disgusted, but we're actually just shy

It's not uncommon that I've heard about or heard someone get told that they're just shy when a gross ass old man or someone is trying to gr**m a kid. It's gaslighting and manipulation in most cases. So for them to say that it's because they're actually just shy as part of the satire is the point.

My creepy old groom (creepy old groom)

Play that wedding tune

Hey folks, step aside

(I am older, but I'm glad I waited)

And if you've watched a bootleg, you would recall Barbara right here smiling and then turning away with eyes wide, like "this is not fucking okay" Kind of look on her face. But yeah this is another one of those phrases that you hear too often in these gross situations.

'Cause here comes the bride

I am marrying my creepy old guy

(Creepy old guy, creepy old guy, creepy old guy)

He's my creepy old guy

(Creepy old guy, creepy old guy, creepy old guy!)

Fix his hair

Get him prepared

For Armageddon

Again if you have seen a bootleg, here Lydia puts a finger to her lips and goes shhhh. Because Armageddon is Beejs death.

Sure, the groom

Crawled out of a tomb

But hey, hey, it's a wedding!

He's really fucking old guys. There is a huge age gap and this is p*dophilia.

So dim the lights

Pick up some rice

Say something nice

It's my day to shine

I'm getting hitched to my creepy old guy

(It's showtime)

Creepy old guy, creepy old guy

She's marrying a creepy old guy

Have you guys seen "Lolita"?

This is just like that, but fine

I have not seen Lolita, but I have been told it's similar to this who marriage scenario and is mega bad. Now if it were Lolita fashion, that is made to ward off men, so I assume it's a movie from what info I have.

Creepy old dude, creepy old dude

Our faith has been renewed

Now love is alive!

Wave your baby girl goodbye

I am walking down the aisle

I wanna see a tear in every eye as I pass by

I know that on the outside he's disgusting

And even on the inside, he's disgusting

This whole scenario is fucking vile. He's vile.

But I know that this time, I'm makin' it right

(Making it right, making it right!)

With my family by my side

O.M.G.

Dressed to a "T"

Fancy and formal

I found me a wife

L'chaim to life

This is so normal!

I was ignored

But now, I'm adored!

'Cause I extorted, tortured, and lied

Give it up for my underage bride!

They've done it, they have successfully tricked him into thinking this is okay with no funny business. But he's about to get stabbed. L'chaim to life is a nod at him being Jewish, also he had a Kippah in the DC version which backed this joke, but it fell off a lot ig so he doesn't have it now. Traditionally there was a lot of marrying women off to much older men for property and stuff, as most religions do/did tho. I was in a production of Fiddler on the roof for example and that was the whole premise.

Here comes the bride

Here comes the bride

God be glorified

I can't believe some cultures think this kind of thing's alright

My creepy old guy

My creepy old guy

Doesn't he deserve a chance at life?

Oh yeah, that's right

Yeah, that's right

So let's make him alive!

I am marrying my creepy old guy!

Guy, guy, guy, creepy old guy

Guy, guy, creepy old guy

Guy, guy

(I have chills)

Yeah!

And then they stab him and the till death do we part sign over the stage all makes sense now because the wedding vows are undone and since he's recently deceased he almost returns to the netherworld.

Etcetera etcetera... But of course you guys go tome deaf at that one when it plays if I remember right.

Oh right, the cartoon, of course, I knew just what you were thinking don't worry. You're thinking "oh well what about the comics, and the valentine cards! And and the animators who drew lewd stuff of Lydia!" Well.... Haha! Still p*dophilia! And also I have seen the infamous Lydia drawing and it's got her head shape, nose, lips, but it's not fully her. Even if it was again my first point, still p*dophilia. And yeah just because the people who worked on it drew it, doesn't make it suddenly okay. Ffs...

I couldn't even find a cartoon wedding that wasn't fan drawn to match this one. Because that doesn't exist! But I do have my favorite point to make.

Beetlejuice's look into Lydia's future in Pest O' the West.

Now why you b*bes were busy being p*dos and gr**ming kids on the internet into thinking this shit is okay, I was mastering the art of common fucking sense.

Beej makes a joking remark that he cannot see into the future while hiding from Bully the Crud, but when he does as per usual, his puns and phrases make his magic go to work. So a crystal ball appears in front of him showing the future in the images I've provided.

Lydia, doing a heaping pile of dishes as a ghost for bully and all of their kids, very unhappy and driven insane. Because imagine what being married to someone it's obviously wrong to be with would do to her mind. He hates seeing her like this, so he rushes to save her. Which he successfully does.

Toon is actually the one with canon evidence of this shit being not okay to him.

Also before anyone tries to say it, no the movie and cartoon aren't connected, she doesn't even live in Winter River in the cartoon that should have made it obvious. Besides she's like 14-16 in the movie. So I don't think she de-aged.

Lastly, two things that are off topic. I believe it's spelled canon, and before anyone goes saying fiction doesn't effect reality, I would like you to explain to me how being a Jedi is a official religion if that is so true.

See anon! I gave you my special, condescending talk that too two hours to type on my phone! You stalked me endlessly and I picked you as the special anon that, I didn't deletes ask for being a gross piece of shit in a minors ask box! Wow. That searching my name clicking on my asks, and typing out all that so I could live rent free in your head really.... Didn't work lol. I may have took two hours to type this, but I assure you I will forget about you in 2 days max. Because unlike you, I have better things to do than ship a minor with an ancient demon. Bye bye now, be sure to rant about me with pure rage to your house p*do friends so that my existence may spread further into other people's minds! Woo... Being famous is so tough. 😉