#all my perfectionism went into this

[senoleaf]

(1 / 2)

i present. my lostmetals magnum opus. part two.

happy ending yayyyy

bonus:

[stygiusfic]

deep in my feelings today about everyone who has stuck around since my Hades days and everyone who's been along for the ride for even a little while

in a little over a month, it'll have been 4 years since I made the stygius account on ao3, which makes it one of my most long-lived accounts!

now and then I still get the itch to make a wholly new one, shed the snakeskin all over again, but... this one is getting homely...

[dan-crimes]

I might not have social anxiety but man I gotta tell you having perfectionism sure makes me FEEL like I do sometimes like it's always the build up like I need to make sure it is PERFECT before I do it or else I am a FOOL but like I also don't fucking give a shit? Like I do not care if someone doesn't like me or something that I made cuz they're a dick if they talk shit so like that is NOT my problem but then also just thinking about showing my art to someone of THEIR character and getting it WRONG just makes me feel like I'm gonna spontaneously explode cuz like I have tons of stuff drawn (or that I have planned to draw) that I can't even show off bcuz I feel like I will die

[byoldervine]

Types Of Writer’s Block (And How To Fix Them)

1. High inspiration, low motivation. You have so many ideas to write, but you just don’t have the motivation to actually get them down, and even if you can make yourself start writing it you’ll often find yourself getting distracted or disengaged in favour of imagining everything playing out

Try just bullet pointing the ideas you have instead of writing them properly, especially if you won’t remember it afterwards if you don’t. At least you’ll have the ideas ready to use when you have the motivation later on

2. Low inspiration, high motivation. You’re all prepared, you’re so pumped to write, you open your document aaaaand… three hours later, that cursor is still blinking at the top of a blank page

RIP pantsers but this is where plotting wins out; refer back to your plans and figure out where to go from here. You can also use your bullet points from the last point if this is applicable

3. No inspiration, no motivation. You don’t have any ideas, you don’t feel like writing, all in all everything is just sucky when you think about it

Make a deal with yourself; usually when I’m feeling this way I can tell myself “Okay, just write anyway for ten minutes and after that, if you really want to stop, you can stop” and then once my ten minutes is up I’ve often found my flow. Just remember that, if you still don’t want to keep writing after your ten minutes is up, don’t keep writing anyway and break your deal - it’ll be harder to make deals with yourself in future if your brain knows you don’t honour them

4. Can’t bridge the gap. When you’re stuck on this one sentence/paragraph that you just don’t know how to progress through. Until you figure it out, productivity has slowed to a halt

Mark it up, bullet point what you want to happen here, then move on. A lot of people don’t know how to keep writing after skipping a part because they don’t know exactly what happened to lead up to this moment - but you have a general idea just like you do for everything else you’re writing, and that’s enough. Just keep it generic and know you can go back to edit later, at the same time as when you’re filling in the blank. It’ll give editing you a clear purpose, if nothing else

5. Perfectionism and self-doubt. You don’t think your writing is perfect first time, so you struggle to accept that it’s anything better than a total failure. Whether or not you’re aware of the fact that this is an unrealistic standard makes no difference

Perfection is stagnant. If you write the perfect story, which would require you to turn a good story into something objective rather than subjective, then after that you’d never write again, because nothing will ever meet that standard again. That or you would only ever write the same kind of stories over and over, never growing or developing as a writer. If you’re looking back on your writing and saying “This is so bad, I hate it”, that’s generally a good thing; it means you’ve grown and improved. Maybe your current writing isn’t bad, if just matched your skill level at the time, and since then you’re able to maintain a higher standard since you’ve learned more about your craft as time went on

[flungoutofspace99]

All I have to say is that I have no self-control and that I’m incapable of sticking to a plan 🤷🏼‍♀️

[makeyoumine69]

Being Bateman's Tradwife | NSFW HEADCANON

Pairing: Patrick Bateman x gn!Reader; CW: SMUT, Romance and mostly Fluff. Links: [MASTERLIST]; Song Rec: Isabel LaRosa — i'm yours; A/N: This is dedicated to @batemans-malewife, I hope you like it, my dear friend! 💗 If you find any mistakes regarding gn!reader, please let me know.

At first, the whole idea of being a tradwife made you nervous, especially when Patrick insisted that you quit your job and let him take care of all aspects of your life; not to mention his complex personality and unhealthy perfectionism in almost...everything?

But then, when you finally decided to give it a try, the hurricane of domestic life consumed you faster than you could imagine, and you didn't notice how you got used to making him breakfast in the morning before he went to work.

Bateman would watch you float around his modern kitchen like a fairy, wearing something neat and tight that would make him hard even after the morning sex you had a few moments ago; his hazel eyes would peer over the Times he was reading, not missing a sway of your delicious hips. And when Patrick would trap you between his massive frame and the kitchen counter, you would just gasp and smile innocently, pretending you were not seducing him all this time.

Romance. Oh, sometimes Bateman could be such an old-fashioned romantic, who loved to give you flowers, lingerie and various other gifts because he wanted nothing more than to make his dear wife happy; although his generosity was charming, there were moments when you found it embarrassing, particularly when Patrick took you to Tiffany & Co. and asked you to pick out any jewelry you liked. After all, Bateman enjoyed spoiling you because he COULD afford it.

Living under the same roof as Bateman meant being ready to be caught by him anywhere — even if you were just going to take a shower, this man would catch you there too, hugging you from behind and pressing your wet body against his strong one, kissing your neck while his hard length rubbed between your legs, turning you both to the point of no return when your single moan was enough to ignite his desire.

"Mmhhm-Patrick..." The way you called out his name drove him absolutely crazy, especially with your eyes closed like that, Bateman couldn't resist it.

"Fuck, you look so cute like that," he purred in your ear before tugging gently on your hair to make you arch your back. "Spread your legs wider, yeah, just like that," his praise was sweet as honey, warming your heart and inducing you to forget how to breathe. "Uh, such an obedient little Bunny."

The way his thick cock brushed over your ass would set your body on fire, his tight embrace would make you feel so small and fragile but at the same time so protected and cherished; it was the best feeling in the world to be held in the arms of your beloved man.

Hot and bothered, Bateman would nip at your shoulder blade and give himself a few hard strokes before leisurely pushing himself into your tight hole, relishing the way you clung to his brawny biceps and gasping at how perfectly he was stretching you from the inside out.

"Mmm-so good, you feel so fucking good," his low groan echoed off the shower walls, mingling with the sound of the flowing water. "Relax, honey, I got you."

And he really meant it when he said those words. 

Every time you had sex and Patrick saw you struggling to take his huge dick, he would soothe you, but never stop ramming into your malleable flesh, forcing your legs to shake and your throat to spasm in lewd whimpers.

This man was everything to you, and you were everything to him.

Waking each other up by giving oral pleasure would become your favorite ritual that would help you unleash your carnal desires, because there was nothing shameful about making the person you loved feel as good as possible.

Bateman's breath would hitch at the touch of your wet tongue on his swollen tip as you lapped at it like a curious kitten, your coy ministrations would amuse him but at the same time they would be the most powerful fuel for his arousal.

On top of that, there would be evenings of watching his favorite slasher movies, which would turn into something spicy as soon as you snuggled up against his broad chest, seeking protection because you were scared. Patrick would make you sit on his lap and kiss you so passionately that you would moan into his mouth, spurring him on to use his hands more brazenly, squeezing your ass and hips without shame.

And if you were jealous, he wouldn't punish you for it, no. It would boost his ego for sure, but he would do his best to show you that you are the only one he desires at all costs. Bateman would worship every little part of your body or fuck you senseless if it would help demolish any silly thoughts about you not deserving him.

"Baby, look at me," Patrick mused, cupping your sad face in his big palms. "I want you to remember what I'm about to say."

Lowering your head, you closed your eyes for a second before finally daring to look into his dark ones. "I'm sorry to bring this up again. It's just..."

"Shhh, (y/n,) listen," his voice became even more affectionate after your words. "You are my darling, my beautiful wife. I chose you and I don't need anyone else," Bateman's hand slowly traced your cheek, wiping away your shimmering tears. "Because I've found myself in you."

To prove his words, the man sealed your lips with a kiss full of love and tenderness, constantly caressing your face and holding you close.

The two of you wouldn't even remember how long you stayed like that on the Manhattan Bridge, hugging each other so tightly as if you were two magnets. Even if the whole world was against you, you would always have each other, and that was the only thing that mattered.

P.S. Thank you for reading until the end! I don’t have a taglist. You can follow my side blog @makeyoumineagain and turn on notifications to know when I update!

[yandereend]

Yandere Househusband

The wedding

P. 2/?

TW : normal yandere stuff, dubcon, reader is into it?, Tyler talks about children, both are like 18 or 19

Btw English is not my first language so please keep that in mind

🩵Also thanks to everyone who wrote nice comments under the first post🩵

You sometimes watched those trashy shows about the bridezillas who were obsessed with their weddings and made everyones live hell. Like many people you hopped to never be in a situation like this. But here you were sitting besides your fiancé while he discusses flower arrangements, acting like a giant brat.

Is it so hard to put together bouquets with ALL pink flowers?!

Sir we dont have enough pink lillies for all your decorations. You should reconsider some of your choices-

I‘m surrounded by idiots!! My spouse wanted pink lillies so i don’t care if you don’t have them stocked!! Just buy them!

That would be even more expen-

Just do it !!!

And with that Tyler took your hand and you both exited the flower shop. It was almost comical how such a small thing could affect a grown man so much, but hey it’s his day. Tyler had a big pout on his face so that called for your attention and pampering.

Tyler don’t be upset.

But its our day my darling, everything should be perfect! We spend so much time picking out your (suit/dress/whatever you want its your wedding) and my suit. The flowers have to match or everything was for nothing my dear!

Not everything has to be perfect.

Oh yes it does! Have you never been on pinterest ?

That was the whole wedding planning in a nutshell , just an avid pinterest user placing together the wedding of their dreams( yandere style). Sometimes it was cute seeing Tyler being so invested in the wedding, other times it was more than annoying to cater to his perfectionism.

You also often thought about how quickly things progressed. I mean you just graduated high school and are already engaged and working for your fiancés father. Tylers father, Eric, was a great boss, you often wondered why people were scared of him. It’s just your nice father in law! Always explaining everything to you and hyping you up as the next in line of the family business. I mean you’re almost a part of it.

And Tylers mother, Ramona, was the same, always acting like she’s your real mother and caring for you. Not to mention Tyler himself. You were not suprised when he didn’t went out to look for a job or university, he always promoted the idea of a traditional family with you as the breadwinner in the center. And hey, his parents gifted you a house as an engagement gift, so its safe to say that you wont suffer in the presence of those saints.

At least that’s what you thought of them, little did you know that they were the reason why most of your friends cut contact and your family hardly called after you moved out. But hey who needs them anyways.

So while all these thoughts ran through your mind here you were, walking down the aisle with your father and finally seeing the man of your dreams in his perfectly tailored suit and styled hair, with tears in his eyes witnessing your beauty.

Your wedding vow was rather short but still packed with the love you felt for your husband. And after he put himself together, because of his happy tears, he read the most beautiful wedding vow you ever heard touching your heart and everyone else’s in the chapel. So when you finally get to put the rings on each other’s fingers you both stand up there with tears in your eyes.

And when you both finally unite in a grand kiss your fate was finally sealed. Tyler had you finally completely in his grasp, even if you didn’t realize it. And he,as well as his family, will never let you go. So enjoy your wedding party with your family and friends, you won’t get to see them any longer my dear.

Till death do you apart.

🩵Thanks a lot I hope you enjoyed it, I am planning on making this a series so please comment ideas for your life with your new husband 🩵

[novy2sirius]

WHAT LOSING YOUR V CARD IS LIKE

Post Warning: Minors don’t read this post. Also remember that you should take this with a grain of salt because the whole chart matters. These are isolated placements

Why the 5th house represents losing your virginity?: Due to derivative astrology the 5th house can tell us about our virginity being lost! This is because the 6th house represents innocence while the 12th house represents losses (using the 12th as the ascendant it would be 12,1,2,3,4,5). You can also check your 5th house ruler for more insight on this though!

What this post refers to: This post represents losing your virginity as in having sex for the first time. This does not include losing it to cucumbers, hair brushes, toothbrushes, or any other foreign items you shove in your gushy.

Aries 5h

It may hurt and you may bleed a lot when losing it since Mars represents pain and blood. One person I met with this placement had what’s called an imperforate hymen and had to get it surgically removed. Although there may be physical pain though it will still be very passionate sex. The person you lose it to will have deep sexual desire for you. There will be a lot of flirtatious energy and sexual tension leading up to you losing it. You will be very turned on.

Taurus 5h

It will be a very sensual and calm experience for you. You will probably lose it to someone that you’re dating at the time since Taurus is ruled by Venus, the planet of romance. You could lose it somewhere very fancy and high class as well. Example: Your date could take you to a fancy hotel to lose it. This can also mean that the process is very slow since Venus is associated with sloth.

Gemini 5h

There will be healthy communication between you and the person you lose it to. You could meet the person you lose it to at school or through social media. The person you lose it to may use things they learned through p*rn so make sure to tell them that’s not realistic and tell them what you really like! I also recommend not making any s*x tapes with this placement as it can indicate getting leaked more easily than the average person.

Cancer 5h

You’re going to lose it in your house or your sexual partners house. This is a good placement to have because it can mean you will feel very comfortable and the person you lose it to will be very considerate of your feelings during s*x. However, the downside to this placement is that you could possibly get pregnant after losing it so use protection and be very careful. Something random I will add is if you don’t lose it at a house you could possibly lose it near bodies of water. Example: My friend has this placement and lost his virginity at the beach.

Leo 5h

You’re going to lose it to someone that makes you feel very confident in bed. The person you’re losing it to will be very generous toward you s*xually and praise you in bed. You weirdly could lose it in a more public place with Leo in the 5th house. With this placement you will likely leave the experience feeling very happy with how it went.

Virgo 5h

Since this sign is associated with “innocence” the person you lose it to could also be a virgin like you. The person you lose it to will make sure that you’re pleased before they are. You could possibly feel scared to because you want to be really good at it due to your perfectionism in the bedroom but remember that we all start somewhere and you will improve over time.

Libra 5h

You will lose it to someone you’re in a long term relationship with at the time/someone you’re dating since Libra is ruled by Venus, the planet of romance. There will be a very flirtatious vibe between you two leading up to it and you will feel a huge romantic spark. Venus is the planet of harmony which can mean losing your virginity is actually a harmonious experience for you and goes well.

Scorpio 5h

You will lose it to someone you’re very sexually attracted to. If you’re a girl and have this placement consider yourself lucky because with Scorpio being ruled by Pluto (the planet associated with org*sms) you will likely finish your first time. Most girls don’t because they have to get the hang of things and become more comfortable in order to. The s*x between you two will be very passionate and rough. At worst with Scorpio being primarily ruled by Mars it could indicate it being a painful experience.

Sagittarius 5h

You could lose your virginity while traveling. You will lose it to someone that’s pretty experienced most likely. After losing it you may find yourself wanting to explore s*x with a lot more people. Since Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter the planet of ease this could be an experience that comes at ease for you. You could possibly lose it someone you met at college/university.

Capricorn 5h

You will lose your virginity at an older age (depending on your other s*x placements). Most of the people i’ve met with this placement lose it after 20 (the average age is 17 years old). Before losing it you could have lots of fear leading up to it due to anxiety. The person you lose it to will likely be older and have more experience than you though making you more comfortable.

Aquarius 5h

You could lose your virginity to someone you’re friends with (possibly a friends with benefits situation). This could be someone you met online since Aquarius is ruled by Uranus, the planet of technology. This could be something that is spontaneous and unexpected that you randomly decide to do. Since Uranus also represents uniqueness you could lose it in an unique location or have a very unique experience when losing it.

Pisces 5h

Majority of people that i’ve met with this placement lose it in their bed since Pisces is ruled by Neptune the planet associated with sleep. The person you lose it to will be very kind and compassionate toward your sexual needs and have strong sexual fascination with you. With this placement you could lose it to your soulmate.

Don’t copy my work - novy2sirius

[onepieceisreeeeaaalll]

Don't Stop - Law x FemReader

Hey all! This is my first attempt at writing smut that I feel like is good enough to publish. Since it's kinktober, I wanted to contribute to the community in some way. I typed it up this morning and went over it a few times. Its fairly short, a little over 3k words and features mutual masturbation.

Edit: I keep going back and making changes when will the perfectionism leave me lol. I also changed the title bc I like it better.

This is for my Law girlie's. Hope you enjoy!

--------

Law had decided early on that day that he wouldn’t allow any distractions. He had let the paperwork build and build over the past couple of days, something that has greatly troubled him. It’s not like him to avoid work, but he couldn’t get that damn woman off his mind no matter how hard he tried. The feeling of her curves, the valley between her breasts, the sounds she’d make-

Today is different, though. Today will be productive and disciplined. He’s the damn Captain, a surgeon - he can handle a little discipline. But no matter how many times he reads through his paperwork, fills out variables and dots his signatures, he struggles with maintaining focus. He’s never felt so needy before, so goddamn horny. It’s annoying the way you completely flood his senses in every way. More than that, it’s irritating. After what feels like hours, but has likely only been maybe one hour of mindlessly dragging his eyes along the papers, he groans in frustration. Law leans back in his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose.

He can’t. The moment he closes his eyes, all he can see is your beautiful smile. The way the light shines through your hair, the sway of your hips and the shape of your ass. How your lips looked wrapped around him last night. His thoughts get more jumbled, more needlessly arousing that he feels his cock twitch in his jeans. Fuck. Goddammit. This is bullshit.

Get a grip, Trafalgar. Get a goddamn grip on yourself.

He can’t take it anymore. In one swift motion, he stands abruptly from his desk and exits his office. Law can be a patient man when he needs to be, but today is not one of those days. He can’t focus until he sees you, until he gets the opportunity to bring you both to a fucked-out state of bliss. He needs to feel his body against yours, to light the fire in his veins that pervades and itches beneath his skin. Law barely even registers the faces he passes, the familiar friends and colleagues of his crew with their faces twisted with either concern or a knowing expression. They aren’t even on his mind. His feet move fast, echoing through the metal halls of the Polar Tang. He needs you. He needs you like air.

Law makes it to his quarters where he had left you this morning. He’d exchanged a few sweet chaste kisses in the early morning hours to try to convince the both of you that he’d come back for more later. Later arrived far sooner than either of you might have anticipated, but his control had snapped and he's now a man on a mission. He takes a deep breath, his hand lingering on the doorknob. This is it, Trafalgar, your one last chance to walk away before you-

“Fuck.”

A breathy moan reverberates from inside of the room. Law feels his heart stop and his blood turn cold. He knows that voice, the quality of swears that leave you when you’re in the throws of passion. Are you…?

Another moan, this time longer but softer. His eyes widen and his heart suddenly quickens at the sound. He can’t believe it. You are.

An internal, agonizing debate begins in his head. Should he walk in, give you what you need? Should he walk away, try to take care of business himself? At this point he’s too far gone - he knows what you’re doing and god does he want to join. With the sound of another wanton moan, his primal urges win out and he gently pushes open the door. He's careful to move it in just the right way that it won’t creak, unsure if he wants to get caught and possibly interrupt it. He slips in, quickly closing the door behind him to observe the debauchery going on in his bed.

And fuck, is it debaucherous.

Law takes in the beautiful feast before him - you lying back on the mattress, only a thin sheet haphazardly resting against your lower waist, blocking the full view of your activities. Your back is arched, eyes closed as your hands move desperately in tandem beneath the sheets. He can hear the wet sounds of your slick being invaded by your digits and, judging by the trembling of your legs, you’ve been at this for a while. A small, shaky breath leaves him as he hears your noises - god, those noises that haunt him and invade his dreams. Those enchanting, goddamn helpless sighs, little gasps and hiccups that escape you when you’re really enjoying yourself. Law swears he could listen to them on repeat and never tire of hearing them. The flush of your cheeks is so mesmerizing that his eyes linger there in particular for a moment, a growing desire rising in him to make that blush deeper. His eyes trail back down, and this is the part that really makes him really feral; you’re wearing his shirt, and it’s hoisted just above your breasts to expose the beautiful peaks of your areolas. Everything about you is so intoxicating, and the fact that you’re completely surrounded by him, his scent, his private quarters - all of it just sets him off. He is immediately hard in his jeans, feeling the tightness constricting him like a vice.

“Fuck…” Law breathes, accidentally falling back against the door.

That’s when you hear him. With two fingers still curled inside you, your finger desperately rubbing your needy clit, you halt your movements dead in your tracks. Your eyes widen at the sight of your boyfriend leaning against the door, his own face slightly flushed despite his usual resting-grumpy face. Your heart is racing and you can’t even think for a moment from the combination of the lustful haze and embarrassment filling you. You’re both quietly observing each other, watching with acute awareness that this isn’t what either of you were expecting. Finally, you can’t stand the awkward silence anymore, and you decide to speak.

“I thought you were working.” You say breathlessly, your voice still shaky from the intensity of your actions only moments ago.

“Yeah, I can see that.” You respond quietly. You’re trying to get a handle on your breathing, but your hands are still posed to attack at your aching center again. You don’t know why you haven’t moved them away yet, but now it feels awkward to call attention to that area.

“I was.” Law answers simply, a little more quickly than even he meant. “I’m not now, though.”

It doesn’t matter if you do call attention to it or not, though. Law’s eyes are already trailing down your body with a silent reverence and a hidden, predatory intention. His throat bobs as he makes it to the sheet that’s covering you. It’s silent again but only for a few moments this time. It doesn’t take long before Law’s self control breaks.

“Don’t stop.”

Your breathing hitches at his words, the way they sound so firm yet strained making your walls clench around your fingers automatically. Don’t stop - don’t stop? Your brain doesn’t even fully comprehend the command before your hands are already working you over again. The middle and ring fingers of your right hand rub slow circles at your clit, the same fingers on your left hand beginning to pump back into you. It’s not as intense as it was when you were interrupted but it’s enough to elicit small, needy whines from you. Your eyes stay trained on Law’s and the way his pupils seem to have darkened over his expression. You trail over his body in a quiet admiration for your boyfriend. His muscles that are taut beneath his shirt, the way his belt buckle rests on his waist, and his cock that's so hard and dying to escape his pants. The sight makes you groan and you have to bite your lip to keep yourself from getting too loud.

A small smirk rises to Law’s lips. He sees exactly what you’re looking at and it drives him crazy with need. His arms are crossed over his chest as he watches the show, but he’s not sure how long he can last with the throbbing in his groin.

“Move the sheet.” He instructs, his voice smooth but commanding. It’s the same voice he uses when he’s giving out assignments or instructing a surgery. It’s also your favorite voice he uses in the bedroom.

You take your hand away from your clit, shakily moving it to remove the sheet that blocks his view. Once you’re fully exposed, your hand returns to your clit and a soft whimper escapes your throat. You’re pulsing around your fingers again when you see the way his eyes zero-in on your pussy and the good work you’re doing. Fuck, it’s such a turn-on to see the way his cock twitches in his jeans. Through breathless gasps, your hands increase their speed and your own gaze is fixated on Law.

“Touch yourself.” You instruct, using your own commanding voice despite how much you’re falling apart.

You don’t need to tell Law twice. His hands move to undo his belt with practiced ease, but his eyes never leave you. His smirk stays fixated on his lips even with how flustered he’s feeling. You’re so beautiful to him, you hung the goddamn moon and now you’re putting on the most perfect show for him. He can't get enough.

“You want me to get off to you touching yourself, (y/n)?” Law asks in almost a mocking, teasing tone.

You nod weakly, biting your lip when you see him toss the belt aside carelessly. His hands move to his buttons and zipper, and the sound of the zipper echoing in the room is enough to make a few needy sighs leave you. It’s only heightened when his cock springs out eagerly as though it was dying to greet you and make an appearance.

“Fuck, you’re so hard…” You groan, your eyes shutting briefly to try to get a grip on yourself.

That’s not good enough for Law, though.

“Hey, eyes up here. You’re the one who wanted me to touch myself.” Law says, his tone both firm and somehow still laced in mockery.

Your eyes snap open at his command and you can see he’s already making quick work of his shaft, his hand pumping in slow, measured movements. His tip is already red and inflamed, glistening beautifully with his precum in a way that makes you lick your lips. Without your permission, your hands have already started picking up the speed. Your two fingers are curling and moving in and out of you with a force that makes your body tense. Your fingers at your clit circle the bundle of nerves furiously, causing your body to shiver from the pleasurable sensations. You’re already so close from building yourself back up. This scenario, it’s the hottest thing that you and Law have ever done, which is saying something.

It’s so primal, so horny and hungry that both of you have to watch each other masturbate while longing to touch the other. The sounds in the room are absolutely sinful - moans, low curses, huffs, and the sound of skin being assaulted echo against the metal walls. Pure unadulterated lust fills the room and it's enough to make both you and Law feels completely enraptured by it. You’ve never seen Law so undone so quickly before and you’ve certainly never seen the way he touches himself. It’s almost hypnotizing to dart between the focused look on his face and the way his hand eagerly strokes his cock.

“Add a third finger.” Law commands, his voice breathless and strained.

You immediately do as he says, a third finger poking into your core with little regard. Another whine leaves you and the way your face contorts with pleasure causes Law’s hips to buck towards his hand involuntarily.

“Fuck, (y/n)...you’re so goddamn needy for me. You couldn’t wait a few hours?” He mocks breathlessly.

“No, I-...I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“Clearly. You’re so wet for me, I-” Law hisses, his hand clenching around his cock. “God, you’re so beautiful like this. Using your hands and pretending they’re mine.”

You groan, your body arching slightly at his praise. He always knows exactly what to say to get you there but you always give it right back to him. Dirty talk has almost become a game between the two of you. Ordinarily the surgeon is very introverted and stern, but in the bedroom he has a way of opening up far more than you’d ever expected.

“Yeah? You like that I couldn’t stop thinking about you, that I- ah-...that I needed to fuck myself?” You respond just as breathlessly before biting your lip to suppress another whiny moan.

Law doesn’t respond immediately, a strangled huff leaving his throat instead. He’s not one for making a lot of noises, but you have a way of bringing out the worst - and best - in him.

“What were you thinking about?” Law asks quickly, almost like he’s compelled to.

Your hands increase their speed, your fingers almost slamming into you and dragging along your walls. Every now and then you touch that beautiful, spongy g-spot that makes your pussy clench tighter.

“You bending me over your desk, slapping my ass and calling me a good girl.” The words fall out of your mouth, and you’d almost be embarrassed if you weren’t so worked up.

That doesn’t matter to Law, though. He groans, his head falling back against the door he’s still leaning against. He can feel his heartrate quickening and every word you say is pushing him closer. Your voice alone is like a goddamn aphrodisiac.

You’re not doing much better, either. Seeing him almost lose himself from your admission sends a shiver down your spine. You can’t take your eyes off of his cock - you’re completely fixated by the way his veins decorate his shaft and the tattoos on his hands moving fervently to bring him to a release. You can feel yourself reaching that peak, teetering on the edge towards absolute nirvana.

The noises coming out of you are not even controlled anymore - they’re animalistic, urgent, and your hands are moving with that same energy. It’s been quiet for a minute now since your admission, but Law speaks up quicker this time than the last.

“Look at you, taking your fingers so good. You're such a mess.” He breathes, his hand stroking his cock a little faster now. He can see the sickness of your fingers when they exit you and it's so delicious looking. “A goddamn mess. So fucking tight you can barely move your fingers.”

“Law.” You whine, your body tensing. He's absolutely right - with how much you're tightening and pulsing on your fingers, you can barely move all three of your fingers. Your walls have a firm grip on you as if trying to swallow you whole.

“Yeah, baby? You say my name so goddamn perfect. Say it again. Say it.” He commands, small huffs of air leaving him. If you could hear anything over the noise of your pussy and the sounds leaving you, Law can be heard groaning so softly.

“Law. Fuck, you feel so good.” You gasp, your mind completely hazy. It's not even him in you but you're so preoccupied by the movements of his hand that you can't help it. It's what comes out.

“Mm…do I? You wish it was my cock stuffing your pretty pussy instead?” Law groans, his head falling back again. He's so close that he can't even begin to hold himself together anymore.

“Yes. Please, I want…fuck, I-...oh my g-...” You choke out, your words barely even coherent anymore. You're so close, right on that precipice, and it makes Law let out a breathless chuckle.

“You gonna come already? Fine, do it, then. Be a good girl and look at me while you cream on your fingers.” Law commands breathlessly, his voice strained but stern.

That's all it takes for you. With a final curl of your digits, you're sent firmly over the edge and into complete unfettered ecstasy. The way you tremble and keen makes Law finish too, though his is more controlled and fairly silent save for one quiet groan.

Law can't peel his eyes away from you as you finish. It's mesmerizing watching you writhe and work yourself through your orgasm. It feels like he's watching some taboo art he's not supposed to. Your body is so gorgeous to him that it makes his heart pound. How in hell did he get so lucky?

After a few moments of panting and quietly recollecting yourselves, Law pads off across the room to grab a towel and clean his hand. He'd managed to catch most of his release, though he has to wipe some of it from his shirt. With a sigh, he removes the material, chiding himself silently for making such a mess. He finally glances back over at you, seeing the blissed-out limp expression on your face. Law smirks before making his way over to the bed, taking a seat next to you.

It's quiet for a moment and he can tell that you've fully come back to yourself. Your flushed cheeks indicate the embarrassment that seems to have finally settled in. He chuckles softly, taking a hand to brush some hair from your forehead.

“You have a good time?” He teases quietly.

You groan, annoyed, and avert your gaze from his. You've never been caught masturbating before, much less masturbated with someone else. It was as vulnerable and shameful as it was hot.

“Shut up.” You pout. “I didn't think you were coming back for a few hours.”

“I know.” Law says gently, moving his fingers delicately through your hair. “It's fine. Nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“Yeah, well I disagree.”

“What? You didn't like it?” Law asks with a small smirk. Judging by how you two got off, he knows that you'd be full of shit to deny it.

“Tell you what. I still have some work that I need to get done. At lunch, though, I want you to stop by my office.” Law leans in close, his breath tickling your ear. “Maybe we can make that fantasy of yours a reality.”

You don't even bother answering. You know he knows the answer. After a few moments of silence, Law clicks his tongue his fingers moving to drag his knuckles across your cheek gently.

[dnvrsmedia]

Dr. Anderson Will See You Now

Dr!Abby Anderson x Wife!Research assistant!Reader

Summary: You meet your now wife, Dr. Abby Anderson, working at Seattle Hospital as a Lab Specialist. 8 years and a marriage later, your life could not have been more perfect. What happens when your wife is destined on carrying out a silly little prank war?

warnings: 18+ mentions/themes of smut, not proof read

word count: 2k

AN: this is my first post back on tumblr in forever. I don’t foresee myself necessarily posting fics here fully time, but post the occasional fic that i am extra proud of. I still am really only posting on AO3 (sevikasplanet).

hope you enjoy.

.

Heavy breaths slow as you come down from your high. Your mind on cloud nine, you almost miss the whispers of reassurance coming from your blonde haired lover beside you. Abby pulls you in to lay directly on top of her. Your nose nuzzling into its designated spot in the crook of her neck. Soft kisses litter her skin as the both of you slow your breathing. You lift your head to look at the blue eyed girl with a toothy smile. No matter how many times the two of you have been intimate, a shy nature subcomes you. Abby chuckles at you with a light hearted roll of her eyes.

“We have been together for almost eight years, married for two of them. How are you still so shy?” Her big palm caresses your thigh as you try to return to your position you previously were in. Abby would not have any of that, the woman tilting your chin to face her with a loving look in her eye.

“I love you, baby.” Abby smiles. Your heart soars at the words left from her lips. That was something you could never get tired of.

“I love you too, Abs.” You plant a slow kiss to her lips, enjoying the feeling of her plush pillows contorting with yours.

Days like these were often very rare in the Anderson household. Abby is a very successful orthopedic surgeon, and you work full-time as a research specialist. The pair of you met while working at the same hospital you do now. Funnily enough, running into doctors was quite the rarity as you were on a completely different wing from your now wife. You had met the big goofy blonde in the cafeteria. It was your first week starting your new job at the hospital’s research facility. To say it was stressful becoming acquainted would be a complete understatement. Everything felt as if it were divinely fated against you (you do have the flair for dramatics and intense perfectionism). Even the stupid fucking self check out machine was laughing at your apparent stupidity.

Abby ran into you having a bit of…technical difficulties as you slammed your badge furiously across the scanner for the millionth time in the span of five minutes. It was pure luck that Abby just so happened to forget her lunch at her apartment today as she rushed to get ready for work. An incredulous chuckle left her mouth, not really sure if this was a bit or not. Tha confusion quickly went away when she heard your frustrated mutters of not so professional language leave your mouth.

“Stupid fuckin’ robot, n’ you’re ‘posed to take my job in the future? Dumb fuck!” Your pouty lips and furrowed brows were unlike anything Abby has ever seen. To this day, she swears this is when she started falling in love with you. Time fell frozen in her mind as she watched you, the most beautiful person she has ever seen.

“Um, I think I can help you with that, if you don’t mind?” Abby clears her throat, feeling the heat rise to her face as all of your attention turns to the buff woman before you.

Left opening your mouth like a fish out of water, your embarrassment flooded through your system– it left you hindered to speak as you nodded your head. All Abby can do is fondly smile at the person before her, what can she say, you have peaked her interest. Abby grazes her hand across yours as she reaches for your badge. Electricity flows through both of your veins at the small connection of your hands. If Abby wasn’t bright red before, she was now. She shook her head lightly as if she was telling herself to remain on task, and did just that. You practically facepalm yourself as you see the freckled face woman flip your badge to the correct side and swipe.

“Oh my god I just threw a tantrum over that.” You giggled at the situation you put yourself in.

“Here, why don’t I buy you your lunch? As a thank you for your hard work uh–” Your eyes trail to the name embroidered onto her white coat. “Dr. Anderson.” A wide smile beams from your mouth, unbeknownst to you, your forever was awaiting right in front of you.

Abby pulls away with a reminiscent smile on her face. Abby was never one to indulge in romantic relationships,at least not the long term kind, until she met you. For the majority of her adult years, Abby spent her time with her head down and her nose between her books. She would spend the little free time she had at the gym or with her close knit group of friends and family. Becoming a successful orthopedic surgeon at her age took hand work and dedication, and if her father taught her anything it would be just that. The Andersons were resilient and Abby was a direct product of that.

Never having known her mother, Abby grew up around doctors. Her second home was the hospital’s daycare. Although Jerry tried his best to be around Abby, there were times where the blonde was left to raise herself. Jerry was open minded and well informed, he lacked the experience of womanhood. Abby was never keen on stereotypical “girl” things. That did help him in raising her, though if Abby did turn out to love tutus and sparkles, he would be the first to participate. Abby appreciated having Jerry as her number one fan. You would think that he would pressure the girl into becoming a successful neurosurgeon, leading a life just as fruitful, but that was not the case. Jerry understood that doing what you loved was the greater purpose of life. Abby just so happened to have a fascination with fixing broken things– where that be bones broken or the relationships of friends. Yet, she never found time to get into relationships herself. Thus, when she found you, she knew she couldn’t let you go. From the moment she saw you halfway to breaking the self checkout scanner, she needed to find a way to fix her way into your life. Those eight years of fixing turned from putting together your pesky IKEA desk, to fixing the hinges on your squeaky door, to finally fixing the ring on your finger, cementing your future together.

The pair of you wouldn’t change the last eight years for the life of you. Those days came with love and laughter. Specifically, unbeknownst to many, Abby liked to play pranks. You, being someone who disliked surprises, somehow fell in love with a six foot two goofball. Her residents would think you were insane for associating Abby with the word goofball. She was nothing shy of a hardass when it came to work. Her pouty lips and furrowed eyebrows were a staple at the Seattle Hospital. She finds it hilarious that the interns are scared of her. Her fellow residents must comply with her reputation when they really know that she is the first one to call when times get hard.

“I have a gift for you coming in at the end of the week.”

The tall blonde smugly smirks as her rough fingers gently contrast her light touches on your naked body on top of hers. Her smile widens as your breath hitches, like you know where this is going.

“A gift? What do you have planned, Dr.Anderson?”

A groan emits from her throat, knowing what that title does to her when you use it. I mean, it is the reason why you two ended up rustling in bed on your day off.

Abby laughs while squeezing the fat of your thigh.

“Nothing you have to worry about. Lover. Just know that you’ll enjoy it just like you seemed to enjoy today.”

A nibble on your earlobe makes your shiver as the soreness between your thighs makes you remember the details of your rendezvous with your wife. Your face smooshes into the crevasse of her neck and shoulder in embarrassment. Abby smiles, ready for her prank to commence.

If you would have known that your wife would go out of her way to make your life unbearably distressing for the next week then you would have told her to take her gift and shove it up her ass. Every waking moment, Abby has decided to tease you. Relentlessly. Constant reminders throughout your day about your gift— that you should be expecting by Saturday— could have never possibly left your mind with how she never let you forget. Her lips trail all of your sweet spots in passing throughout your mornings. Strong hands roughly spread your asscheeks disgustingly well as she wetly explores the inside of your mouth in a storage closet near your lab. Whimpers leaving your lips as your wife teases your nipples while you prepare dinner. Tweaking them in her hands as she whispers dirty thoughts in your ear. Throwing you on the bed, licking, sucking, prodding, and prying at your plush thighs, groaning from below you. Calling you from your lab to an empty office, making you grind on her thigh, then rudely leaving you hot and bothered. Yet, whenever you begged for her to continue, she would find an excuse to not move on.

It’s not that you’d say your sex drive is unnecessarily high, but you have a sexy stallion of a wife, who could blame you? It got to the point where she was the only thing on your mind all day. You felt immense need thrumming through your bones at all possible hours of the day, and you weren’t sure how much longer you could take it. Luckily for you, Saturday was on the horizon. From the moment you woke up, you were by Abigail’s side clinging to her every movement.

Of course, your wife found this to be very endearing and hilarious. Any time you heard a shuffle outside of the front door, you pearled up like a dog. The worst part of the day was waiting anxiously for whatever “gift” your wife had for you. By the time you were growing annoyed, Abby picked you up and threw you over her shoulder—army style.

“Abigail!!! What the fuck are you doing?!” You squealed out between heavy laughs.

To say that you were complaining, ESPECIALLY with the view of her ass you’re getting would be a lie. A loud smack recoils from your hand slapping your wife’s sculpted butt cheek. A faux gasp leaves her lips.

“I’d be careful, baby, I’m the one carrying you.” Abby laughs at your wiggling ceasing. A smack lands on your backside, and although you can’t see her, you know that sexy and cocky smirk adorns her face. Especially after that loud whimper that leaves your lips. Abby flops you on the bed after she makes it up to your shared bedroom. Like a predator to its prey, she slowly stalks up to your lips, her body on top of yours. Her hair loose from her normal solo french braid, creating a halo of hair surrounding your face.

“Hi, beautiful.” Abby purrs as a hand of yours tucks her golden locks behind her ears, caressing her cheek in your palm. No matter the situation, Abby never fails to erupt butterflies in your stomach. Your face turns away from her loving and lustful eyes at the term of endearment.

“Uh uh, baby, look at me. C’mon, you’ve been so good this week. Wouldn’t wanna ruin your surprise now, would you?” Abby coos.

Your eyes snap back to hers, snapping into that submissive state she’s had you in oh so many times. You shake your head and respond to her with a ‘no’.

“Good.” Abby says as she quickly plants a sweet kiss to your lips. You whine in protest at the quick peck, wanting more, yet all your lover does is pinch your cheek with a smirk.

“Patience, baby. I’m gonna go get your gift now, okay?” And with that, the blonde scurried into your en suite bathroom.

Now what you didn’t see would be the devilish smile attached to her face. Abby might be a gentle giant and a fierce lover, but that did not stop her from being wildly competitive. Her need for pranking you only came after a small prank you pulled on her the first year of dating. Thus, ultimately creating an 8 year long prank war between the two of you. Abby even going as far as pranking you on your wedding day.

-2 years ago-

It was a beautiful day to have a wedding, and you could not have been more sure that you were making the best decision of your life. Your intimate wedding occurred at the private beach and house that Jerry owned. The view was spectacular, and so was the day. Before the wedding took place, Abby and yourself decided that you would want to have a private “first look” with you, her, and her friend Leah—a professional photographer. You were practically bouncing off the walls with how excited you were to see the love of your life. You were so curious about what she would wear. So, when it was time to turn around, you were surprised to see your future wife in a blow up dinosaur suit. Your jaw dropped as Abby couldn’t contain her fits of laughter, her tiny dinosaur hands trying to hold you. After your initial shock, you joined in on the continuous laughter. The pictures of your reaction were priceless, and to this day, it is her phone lockscreen.

Silly things like this was what made you sure that you made the correct decision, even if what she is about to do will royally piss you off.

“Close your eyes!” Is yelled from the bathroom with a slight giggle to her tone. Your eyes roll before you cover your eyes with your hands, you know already that Abby hates when you peak.

“They’re closed! C’mon I'm getting bored, Abs.” You yell back.

You can hear the blonde shuffling from the bathroom, trying to hold back her laughs. This sound confirmed to you that your wife was up to something very, very stupid.

“Okay, open up.” Abby bites back a smile as she stands at the foot of the bed.

Your eyes open and your mouth immediately flys open in shock.

“Dr.Anderson will see you now.” She tries to stay composed, clearly failing at the sound of her quiet chuckles.

Abby had teased you relentlessly for a week, turning you on to levels unknown…for an ill fitting “sexy” doctors costume? She looked absolutely ridiculous in this outfit. The costume fit her like an adult trying to put a toddlers dress on. The low cut white dress with a slit on both sides hardly fit over her wide shoulders and built physique. The buttons pulled at a tension so great you were shocked that they didn’t burst. The zipper not even getting the chance to zip due to her ridiculously muscular stature. The fishnet stallings digging into her wide thighs, topping it off with a very very tiny thong. To say that you were not expecting this would say the least.

“Abigail. What. The. Actual. Fuck!” You throw your head back in a loud cackle. Your belly hurting from the intense laughter bubbling up inside. She takes a stride towards you, but stops just as fast as a loud ‘riiiiip’ noise is heard. Her eyes bulge out of her head as she turns around. Her ass and thong fully hanging out as the fishnets now have a large hole on them. A howl erupts from both of your lips at the ridiculousness of it all.

It takes moments for you both to calm down, and after many pictures taken, Abby takes off the costume and joins you back on the bed.

“Although you got me really good, I'm still kinda mad at you for teasing me like that.” You pout at your wife.

Abby trails her hand up to where you need it most, caressing your clothed core. Her lips trailing up to your ear.

“Oh, babe, I’ll be sure to make it up to you.”

[alicenpai]

"Lament! Terror! Despair! I shall kindly teach them all to you! And in your final moment, I... shall kill you by my own hand!!"

pandora hearts print for anime north this weekend 🥀🖤🤍

I also put this up on my inprnt! there's a sitewide sale for 40% off right now 🌟

For this drawing, I really wanted to emphasize the gothic and chaotic, convoluted nature of the series. Pandora Hearts has become a lot of things to me, as someone who's read it since I was like, 14 years old. but I eventually found the perfect words to sum up the series - a cross between a Shakespearean tragedy and a Grimm fairy tale.

The ink brush + watercolour brushes I used turned out so well together!! I wanted the style to be kind of a nod to like the manga cover art you'd see from the late 90s to 2000s, kind of like Mochizuki's early approach to traditional art.

A lighter approach to both the lineart + coloring also helped me not strain my arm too much - besides work, I stopped doing full illustrations due to the amount of work being heavy on my arm/shoulder T__T. my last full illustrations were the TGAA/DGS zine + WHA zine pieces back in Dec-Jan, but my heart really lies in illustrations more than anything and I definitely want to get back into it!! (as long as my physical health allows it!!)

anyways, above is the thumbnail/inspiration board for this drawing! I also did some quick chickenscratch studies of others' drawings to help me get a sense of their composition. I started on the top left and then made a sort of meandering curve through... definitely went through a lot of ideas for this one. If I explained the intended symbolism.. I would be here.. all day..............

the candles were definitely first inspired by an animation of a lighter I did during art skool... and then I did this AA Dahlia animated illust... and then this OC charm (below) I did in 2022...? maybe I should draw fire more often. it's like, the way that fire looks in animated keyframes that I really like drawing out, and I guess I kinda really enjoyed translating that into a non moving visual medium??

This drawing simultaneously took SO long but I also sped through it?? I had to like... not dwell too long on certain parts... like for example I think some individual character compositions really could be a lot stronger... because I knew this would be a beast of a drawing, I didn't want to spend an unnecessary amount of time focusing on details when I should be looking at the big picture. and I know that's a bad habit of mine!! I'm trying to unlearn my perfectionism!!

thanks for reading if you got this far, hope ya enjoy it!! and I hope I'll keep drawing Pandora Hearts in the future (clearly I haven't stopped since high school omg) and I hope to draw some more Vanitas someday beyond just chibis!

[tarotenchantress]

Astro observations ptV Aye-Aye and the swan edition🦢🏹

DO NOT PLAGIARISE MY WORK🚫

All these observations are based on my personal experience.

By- tarotenchantress🧚🏻‍♀️

The following observations are based on my understanding of what placement may make one think that they are ugly, dont fit the "ideal" box, are always noticed for their looks, are criticised for their looks, have their worth attached to their looks, have people compare them/ rate them for their looks, feel that nothing they do makes them feel pretty, are treated differently for their appearance, are considered stupid because of their appearance, bear the brunt of others envy and projection because of their appearance and those who become vain in their beauty .

Aye-aye is a lemur that is associated with ugliness due to its appearance and swan, as we all know, is associated with beauty because of its appearance, hence the title🏹🤍

🦢 venus in hard aspects with saturn, saturn in venusian degrees of libra (7°,19°)and taurus(2°,14°,26°), venus in capricorn or aquarius.

[This placement may make you very critical of your appearance, it can also mean that to an extent you may nitpick on your features alot, feel like your face is not "balanced" enough or "proportionate enough", call yourself names and idk why the word gross came inmy my mind so maybe some of you are also doing that or do that. This placement is also extremely prone to hating on their body too specifically the hip areas may feel as if their ass is too flat or it are not "pretty". This placement also indicates growing into your features later in life. Some mught even hate their voice or feel uncomfortable listening to their voice. People with this placement may also have suppressed anger issues esp when people comment on their body as neither of these signs and planets are extremely vocal about their pain. Youmay also feel as if no one understands your pain or people tend to be extremelycold or uncaring towards your body issues. Some people may also force you to believe that you have "masculine" features and they maypick on it. You may feel as if people around you judge you alot for appearance and tend to withhold opportunities just cause of your appearance. This placement also indicates that you either got into makeup very early on orrr you got introduced to it way later. This placement to be honest also indicates that one might hate their nose or its bone structure and feel as if it has "ruined" their face and the proportionality. Cynicism may also arise when it comes to appearance. You guys remember that tiktok audio which went like "how old are you?" "Im 19" "you look older" "its not a compliment" yeahh it mught be some scene like that too. Ans i also feel that people may pick on your ass or hips or nose or ears or your throat or voice in general or you may do it. And you may also look into workouts specifically of glutes and to increase the lower hip area and may also hate singing or feel extremely insecure about it. They may get a lot hate from feminine energies or may feel as if women were far more critical of them. Stiff lower back too]

🦢 ascendant in hard aspects with saturn, venus, mars, ascendant in capricorn or capricorn degrees, aspecting 10th house.

[People with

Venus in hard aspect with ascendant may not even see their own beauty. Its almost as if they become so vain with idealising others and other body types esp hourglass figures that they forget about their own appearance and feel dejected. They may also feel extremely jealous if other women looking the way they idealise or may get upset. Venus also demands perfectionism and this placement indicates never being happy with you appearance. Almost as if there's always something to pick on, something out of place something to hate on. Especially the ass area, it may be a point of insecuriry for some.

Mars in hard aspects may always feel as if their body is not "soft" enough or on the contrary not "healthy" enough. They may also have a sensitive ir "red" skin. The undertone of their skin may be reddish too. They may feel as if they "look too boxy" may often idealise a body with abs and muscles or a more feminine body [not gender specific] and mayworkout just to get that look or on the contrary may hate their "manly look" and try to hide it and hate it being the focus of attention. They may also have a love hate relationship with the feminine side of themselves as they may try to show up as more aggressive or dominating or masculine. They may be very hard on their body. One may also be impatient. This placement is also an indicator that masculine energies or men may not have been the kindest towards you may have passed absurd comments on your bosy. Also indicates that youmay be someone who might get into physical fights which may scar your appearance in some way. Dw this doesnt have to be the case for all.

Ascendant in hard aspects with saturn may hate their skeletal system.may feel as if their bones are not strong enough. May feel insecure about their bones as they may be "sticking out" or "weirdly shaped" may also be on the skinnier end may have been picked on for being like that. Adults may be harsh on you since childhood for you appearance. This placement struggles to see beauty in everyday life, in themselves. Very prone to melancholic phases. May want to get surgery done but too scared of its process and effects and failures. Also idk how to say this, like, its not for everyone but you may have a "boney" ass or you may feel like you have a "boney" ass.. Im so sorry omg. Stretching js a muat with this placement as you may feel your back getting stiff. Lower back esp. You may also fear sex and have it later in life and intimacy too and you may feel robotic in sexual acts. May mean tgst you like to dress up more conservatively or your dressing sense may be on the formal mature end.

[Similar effects seen for the remaining. Cap rising, rising in cap degrees, aspecting 10th house]

I have ascendant □ saturn and i tell you what. i used have alot of acne on my forehead and i also had a very oily skin cause i was 13 and i ended up using a pumice stone on my forehead cause pain was the only way for it to go away🤡]

[Capricorn or aqua here may do the same, 10th house placements too]

🦢neptune aspecting ascendant and sun esp harsher aspects in 1st house.

You may not even understand how you look like. Like genuinely having no sense of how your body looks like. I have nept conj sun and i for the longest time had no concept of my own body type even today idk what it is. This placement indicate that you may fantasise alot about an ideal body type and may feel dejected if you dont achieve them or if someone tells you it is impossible, you cant handle it and will refuse to accept it. Delulu is the word yeah. Also sense of self may be weak here. Also very prone to falling for others words esp when they are related to their appearance. Blind to their own beauty.

🦢 pluto aspecting ascendant, venus, in libra, in taurus, in 7th house, in libra degrees of 7°,14°, taurus degrees of 2°,14°,26°, in 2nd house, aspecting 7th house, in 2nd house, in 1st house, in 8th house.

[ anything pluto touches becomes a point of obsession. Here pluto creates an intense need to transform. May make the native a bit obsessed with their appearance, become critical or simply wanting to keep working on it. May also make the native work on their appearance for sexual reasons and may fear being rejected sexually because of their body. May also have intimacy issues. People may be obsessed with your appearance and they may hate on you. People may view you in a sexual manner. Women may be more prone to picking on you. But the thing is,,,, this obsession is not always outright, it can be very secretive as pluto and 8th house also govern secrets. You may feel like covering up your body more and not wanting to be in the spotlight. Early knowledge of being sexualised and also introduced to sexual aspects very early on too. May bring out insecurities in others. You may be far more critical of your appearance . You may also be more critical of your ass and genitilia. They may be darker than the rest of your body which may make you insecure.

I have venus square pluto and i had already mentioned it my prev. Observation but i had people i didnt know sexualise me and i had a "friend" who told me that she was scared ill "take" her 🤡married crush🤡 away because of appearance. Yes. Married crush who i never spoke to or knew about before she started🤡 talking to me about him.

I also had another "friend" mock me for wearing makeup who i very quickly shut down by sharing some youtube makeup tutorials on her number and telling her to learn from them.]

🦢uranus aspecting ascendant harshly.

[You may love your appearance one day and hate it the next day. You may have features that stand out alot and " ruin the balance" in your face which is not true. You may also prioritise your mind over your body for most parts.]

🦢venus in aqua, cap, pisces, scorpio

[May make you critical, delulu and obsessive about your appearance.

I have pisces venus and i hate feet. Im sorry. Im not trying to kink shame but i hate my feet and others too. And i know another pisces venus who feels insecure when she looks at other people's feet. Esp women's feet. ]

🦢chiron aspecting venus, asc, 1st house, 7th house, 2nd house, in libra degrees, in taurus degrees, in libra, taurus, in aspecting 1st house, 2nd house, 7th house, 8th house.

[These placements may give pain in lower back areas, relationships that teach you a lesson, become more critical of your aptearance, biggest pain could come from appearance or romantic partners. Also your crushes may reject you or you may feel rejected by them. One of those placements where their crush goes "ewwww" when shipped with them. (Same can happen in saturn aspects too.)] Also back archs may be a pain in the ass for you. Idk why i said that. Intimacy may also be a huge pain for you you. You may fear intimacy and acts like sex.

🦢beauty asteroids in harsh aspects like aphrodite etc

May make a person insecure about their appearance and not see their beauty at all.

🦢nessus aspecting venus, 7th house 2nd house, in those houses, in libra degrees, in taurus degrees

Like i had said in previous obs, nessus is where tou are abused and where you abuse. It is where you get picked on. Your romantic partners may pick on you. They may also sexually pick on you.

🦢saturn in 4th house, in cancer, aspects to moon, in cancerian degres, libra degrees, taurus degres

May make a person fear "losing" their boobs, may make you critical of your boobs, also make you have issues with feelings and intimacy romantic and sexual moments. Love hate relationship with your boobs. May also create issues with femininity.

Like i have moon conj my saturn and i fear losing my boobs as i admire them the most but i also fear losing them if i lose weight and i also hate them sometimes cause i cant wear some tops without feeling like a young medieval woman with a needy baby who's husband has eloped with another woman and now she has to seduce an old man to get by. Omg.

🦢Venus in 6th house, 12th house, virgo venus, virgo rising

May make the native feel as if theyre not that pretty, or eye catching. It may make the person feel like people overlook them and ignore them or they are not remembered alot. May also make the native dress up more modestly or connservatively. May make the native feel bland. May make them seek perfectionism. May also feel the best when OTHERS compliment them and may dress up for public acceptance and approval.

I have it and there are days when i feel like a medieval maid. I also feel like i dont have features that make me unique or stand out. I feel bland. Like wheat.

Alsooo bonus obv i feel like 2nd house stellium or taurus stellium tends to make a person resemble a bull. Its their nose idk why.

[leggerefiore]

for a request what about various villains reacting to a subordinate of theirs (could be an admin or maybe just a grunt or something) having a crush on their s/o? (I love your writing!)

cw: jealousy, misunderstandings

characters: Cyrus, Maxie, Archie, Guzma

🌌Cyrus🛰

☄️ Saturn had appeared to be in a strange mood lately. Cyrus usually would not pay attention to such things, but whatever had happened to the commander was clearly leaking into his job. Something lingered on his mind and slowed his movements while working in the lab or delivering paperwork to him. Entering the break room area, he caught Saturn typing away on his phone. His mind really was elsewhere. Eyes glanced at the screen to see a text discussion unfolding. The name of the recipient was something too affectionate for his tastes. The commander jumped when he noticed Cyrus standing behind him. His phone was hidden away in his pocket as he turned to face his boss. Cyrus cleared his throat. “… You have seemed distracted lately,” he was not sure how else to phrase it, “I am not going to dictate your private affairs, but I ask that they not affect your work performance.”

☄️ Saturn nervously fidgeted with his shirt's collar. His gaze was averted from the intense one of his boss. Swallowing dryly, he spoke in reply, “I apologise, Master Cyrus. I… I understand this is most important. A friend from my past suddenly got in touch again.” A dusting of colour spread across his cheeks. The words would have meant nothing otherwise to the Galactic Boss, yet they felt strange when he recalled what his partner had told him recently. They had seemed as enamoured with their phone just as Saturn had. He did not mind – He had been busy as of late. It was good they had stopped themselves from being lonely without him around. Coincidences did happen, but Cyrus could not believe in such a thing.

☄️ Your name left his lips unconsciously. Saturn's eyes blew up large. His surprise was more than written across his face. “… D-Do you know them, too?” he was in disbelief about the luck of his boss also knowing his friend. Saturn's heart raced. It was highly inappropriate to engage his boss in information about you. Even if he wanted to grow closer to you and eventually start a relationship. Really, how did Cyrus know you – It made no sense! He braced himself. Though this might tank his ranking in his boss's mind, he truly needed help. “Ah, can I ask where you think a good place to confess something to them would be?”

☄️ Cyrus went dead still. Saturn seemed impossibly small before him. Their eyes did not meet. His words were caught in his throat. His nervous demeanour, the name of the person in his phone, confessing something… His fist clenched. Feelings, writhing and painful, hit him all at once. Saturn was an important asset to him. Whatever he wanted to do could not be acted upon. Still, however, he wanted to stop this immediately before it became anything bigger than it needed to. His posture was straightened. “… They are my significant other,” the words left him far easier than they usually did, “What do you need to confess to them? I can pass it along, if you would prefer.” Saturn went into shock, preceding that.

☀️Maxie🌋

🪨 The Magma Leader was guilty of micromanaging. Very guilty. He had a certain obsession with orderliness and perfectionism that might drive most mad. Tabitha was one who could handle the pressure and crunch. His determination and dedication were plain to see. Maxie appreciated that. But, lately, something had seemed odd. The usual output he expected from him was not met. His behaviour was odd, too. Distant and unreachable. Maxie had sought to address it, which is why he had asked for Tabitha to come to his office. “… Is everything alright with you?” The question felt strange to ask, “I've noticed that your output has changed recently.”

🪨 Tabitha shifted uncomfortably. Part of him had expected the question to come, yet another wished it had not. He had been distracted lately. His mind simply worked against him. This strange person had been encountered by him many times on his way back to the Magma Hideout. He worried about their intentions since they hung outside rather frequently. Yet, something had begun to change the more they talked. It continued on and on. His heart raced. He was not sure on how to handle this. “I'm fine,” he began, then thought over his words again, “Well, it is not anything that is related to Team Magma if that's your concern.”

🪨 Then, Maxie's phone began to ring. He grew slightly flustered by it and quickly pressed to reject the call. A name was mumbled. Tabitha's attention was piqued. That name… He knew that name. Was it a coincidence? That was not a grunt's name as far as he was aware. “… You know, I have an acquaintance by that name,” Tabitha inquired, “I plan on meeting them later today, actually. Is it alright if I leave around four?” Maxie blinked at him. His eyes landed back on his phone. “… Please, it's… important to me. I wish to discuss something about our relationship.”

🪨 Maxie pushed up his glasses and rubbed his eyes. Why was this happening? You had just sent him a text saying that you were meeting up with a friend today. He was not an idiot, and it was plain what was happening. Tabitha clearly did not have a clue himself. The admin was not the type to profess his love for his boss's partner to his face. Whatever upset and anger he felt was pushed down. There was no need for that. “… Hmmrph, yes, that was my significant other who called,” Maxie hoped he would pick up on this without having to say it, “Actually, they just texted me that they would be something this evening, too. How interesting.” Tabitha's eyes shot wide. Words were not spoken. He then politely excused himself.

🌧Archie🌊

💧 The Aqua Leader would not claim to be the smartest guy. Not at all. But he could tell when things were off among his crew. Shelly was acting strange. The words to describe what was different were hard to find, but he could tell. Normally, he probably would have left it alone. There were times when she acted a little off but seemed to snap back out of it before he realised it. This time, it lingered. He caught her just as she was about to head out of the hideout. Her Aqua uniform was done away in favour of normal clothing. Her phone was quickly tucked away into her pocket. “Going somewhere?” he tilted his head, “No, wait, that doesn't matter – Are you feelin' okay? You have been kind of odd lately.”

💧 Shelly barely reacted to his words. She was more than used to whatever came from Archie. Though, it was a bit astonishing that he had noticed even such a subtle thing. His care for the members of Team Aqua was something. It was a reason why she had decided to believe in him and his dream. “Lately, I've noticed that there's a person on the beach near here,” she decided that telling him a bit of the truth would not hurt, “They seemed lonely at first, so I ended up talking to them.” Archie nodded along, listening to her words carefully. She had unconsciously begun to twirl a strand of hair around her finger as she spoke. “Hmm…” she closed her eyes, “I don't know, really. I made plans to go out and meet them at the department store to hang out.” Something about that felt familiar to Archie, but he could not recall why.

💧 Then it hit him. Your name left his lips. Shelly shot him an incredulous look. It was plain to see that she had not expected that name to leave his mouth. “Oh, did you chat with them, too?” she asked. They had been hanging out nearby. Archie probably had a common moment of friendliness and talked with them. But, she felt his shocked expression to be odd. It made her truly wonder what his connection to them could be. “… Hey, did they happen to say anything about me?” she asked, genuinely curious about the topic, “You know… They are kind of cute. They didn't mention a partner or anything, did they?” Shelly hated the slight insecurity that pierced her when it came to them. Offence suddenly washed over her when Archie began laughing so hard that he clutched his stomach.

💧 He felt a bit bad. It was fairly obvious what Shelly's feelings were here, but he did not think that he almost had the heart to tell her the truth. Granted, it might save her embarrassment from being in public, at least. “… Well, they did mention you a little,” that was the truth. Archie had been happy to hear that you befriended an admin of his. You getting along with his crew was great, after all. Apparently, a little too well. He could not get upset or angry. These things did happen, sometimes. “As for them havin' a partner,” Archie scratched the side of his beard, “Yeah, they do. It's me.” Shelly's expression became something scary. “They were waiting on me to finish so we could go on a date,” he continued, “Are you alright?” She nearly walked herself into the nearby body of water, but Archie grabbed her.

🕶Guzma💀

□ The Team Skull Boss would not really admit that he liked to get into his members' business too much. They all had their own issues that brought them all together here, after all. If they did not want to talk, it was fine. One that he usually did try to step in or just had a silent understanding with was Plumeria. The two just seemed to get each other. That was why they even had come together to manage Team Skull. He felt odd seeing her quiet or lost in her own world. It did not really fit her. He caught her sipping on a Tapu Cocoa with a distant look in her eyes at one of the tables in Po town. He sighed as he sat down across from her. “Something up?” Guzma could not read her mind in the end, he guessed.

□ Plumeria's gaze drifted to him as she gave a non-committal shrug at first. Then, she took another sip. Guzma honestly felt a bit awkward. She let out a sigh when he did not leave soon after. Really, the pink haired woman had been hoping to avoid this. These feelings… She wished they would just leave. Like Guzma. She was above this. He remained like they remained. Like a toxic sludge in her veins. “I'm fine, Guzma,” she spoke, hoping to appease him. His arms just crossed. He could see right through her, after all.

□ Guzma's partner… Why did they catch her eye like that? She was not stupid. They were obviously completely enamoured by Guzma. The two were almost inseparable whenever they were together. Though, the moments when she caught sight of them alone made her stomach twist and turn. A bright smile at her while the moon caught them under its light. She felt horrible. Guzma needed something nice. You were just that. The Skull Boss still gazed at her. “… Your partner is hot,” she had no idea where she was going with this. He only cocked a brow up at her words. Her return to complete silence afterwards hit him hard. His mouth fell open, and his eyes shot wide.

□ “Oh, oh – OH,” Guzma realised. He could not even be upset at her. It was clear she disliked it. He got it, though. Out of anyone, he got it. His partner was great. He felt his hand tangle in his hair to scratch at his head. You were nice to his group. Your kindness naturally was an appealing trait to everyone. It was not a common thing they were greeted by. Plumeria's grip on her mug almost seemed strong enough to break it. “Nah, hey, it's okay,” he reassured her, “It's nothing big.” She was not comforted by his words still. Guzma felt bewildered on what to do. A crush on you… Well, he was not going to just let her date you, but he was not going to get snappy at her. Plumeria placed the mug down after a few more moments and strolled away. This would probably come up again later.

[hotchfiles]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ❝ on my mind since the flood ❞ ─ a darling, in any life blurb

pairing: aaron hotchner x reader. summary: the red thread between two people destined to be together may stretch and tangle, but those ties will never break. or: a 45min train ride makes two 43 year olds feel like teenagers. content warnings: divorce babes, divorce. kinda spoiler-ish. watch the 3rd season before. the reader has a backstory and a job, if that bothers you grow up don't read. word count: 960+

Your hair was different, that was the first thing he noticed.

Much like himself, you had soft wrinkles beginning to show up on your forehead and around your eyes, a gift from your late thirties that kept on giving. Your eyes were the same though, he could recognize those anywhere at anytime, even if it had been decades since the last time they stared back at his. Your nose, your lips. Your smile. The way his name sounded coming from your tongue. It was all extremely familiar, as if he was fifteen again.

"You're staring, like a creep, airhead." The old nickname rolls out like you had spent merely seconds apart and it makes him laugh, it has been weeks, maybe months since he last laughed genuinely like that, with his whole face.

"I just got lost—" In your eyes. "In my memories for a bit. You look so much the same."

"Well, my pay check won't allow me any plastic surgeries so—"

"Wise ass." And there it was, like a reflex, his own nickname to you leaving his lips before he even thought about it, if he did think about it he probably would've held it in, a 43 year old FBI agent using childish nicknames not being the best look, but it didn't feel like that with you, at all, it felt natural. You both laugh at it for a second and a comfortable silence follows it, but Aaron couldn't keep it like that, he needed to know more, where have you been, what were you doing... Have you been in Virginia for long? He kept it as casual as he could considering his curiosity, "How have you been?"

"Alright, good, yeah. I’m teaching at Scalia, started this year, I want to keep practicing though, but I’m gonna settle down in Virginia first." You shrug, taking a sip of your coffee. You were purposefully leaving details out, you had seen him on TV a lot since coming back to the states, FBI, profiler. You wanted to see how much could he get from you without words. "What about you, mister FBI hotshot?"

If you two were still teens the way your teasing came out would've made him blush, and quite frankly if he wasn't so self controlled maybe he would've blushed right now, he did feel warm, but instead he just let a chuckle out of his throat, "Well, FBI hotshot just had his divorce finalized, not that glamorous being in these shoes." You already knew what he was doing with his life, it made sense to give the only actual news he had, "Scalia? Law degree too, then." Aaron clicks his tongue, not holding back the instant smirk the realization brought. "Your mother used to say we were so similar we shared the same brain, remember?"

"Welcome to the club, then! Meeting every Friday, membership perks only after the second one, though." His eyes went straight to your fingers, seeing the lack of any rings he nods to himself. Twice divorced. Dark heavy coat, makeup accentuating your features, red lips, hair pulled back. You care about being seen, and desired, but don't want to be approached, a teacher-lawyer, no time, a lot of perfectionism. "Yeah, I stay far away from criminal. Civil and International Law cases mostly. Families, divorces, cross-board custodies." A child of divorce trying to save other children of divorce. Very typical behavior.

Aaron felt like he could stay like this for hours on end, sitting by your side uncomfortably on the train after fate pulled you two to one another again, hearing you tell him about your life in London, your divorces, your time in college. You made him feel young, like you were still his childhood best friend who he fell for. Like if he were to kiss you like he did when you were both thirteen you would still blush and grip tightly on his shirt. Nostalgia was indeed a bittersweet thing.

"I think when you moved away was the last time I openly sobbed." He shakes his head, the thought leaving his brain in a quiet, hushed voice tone, like a secret he wasn't supposed to be telling. It had been years, you were both fifteen when your parents got divorced and you were taken to England with your father. 28 years since the last time he saw you, and he still can feel the same pain if he thinks too hard about it, the way his heart felt like was being sliced apart, getting smaller by the minute as your father's car got further and further away. His mood soured in a way his feelings were only able to function normally again after meeting Haley.

Your hand softly touched his with the confession, your thumb going to his palm and drawing small comforting circles, "I cried myself to sleep a lot that year." Aaron glued his eyes on the way your hands touched, and you thought he might reject it, find it weird after so many years, but instead he just closed his around yours tightly, a silent thankful prayer to the universe, mixed with the warning that he had no intention to let go.

You both stay like that as you talk the rest of the ride, cellphone numbers and e-mails are exchanged, along with longing glances beginning to make you shy like the school girl you once were, when you fell for him the first time. You often wondered what would've happened if you stayed in Washington. Before Jack, Aaron wondered it too from time to time, but truly, he wouldn't do anything different now, he wouldn't choose any alternative ending that would take Jack from him.

But at least now he had a second chance, right?

[absolutelynotsanebaby]

So I sat down the other day and went through the crane wives albums and some other songs to assign to Ninjago characters and I've finally sat down and decided to write the post out. The content are going to be under cut because this post will certainly be too long. I'm going to go album by album here starting with Coyote Stories and ending Here I Am: From The Listening Room.

(any and all "(X)" are simply links to the songs <3)

okay, here we go!

Coyote Stories

Keep You Safe: in some ways, I like to interpret part of this song as relating to Nya's perfectionism, especially within Possession. The bridge especially and lines "What if the steps I take turn out to be mistakes? How can someone like me learn to say "come what may"?" (X)

Allies or Enemies: this is Jay and Cole to me from Rebooted to ToE. Specifically, from Cole's perspective. The song has a lot of regret and bitterness in it that I just think fits so well. The first verse and second verse ("you owe me ears from dropping eaves"), and the bridge are all so clear to me. The bridge, "what happens now? do we have another go (oh) do we bow out and take our separate roads, I'll admit I've had my doubts (oh) but I want to be let in not out (oh) I want to be let in now out", reads to me like Cole's sudden giving in and desperation in their match in ToE. (X)

Hard Sell: this one's a little loser but it reminds me of Lloyd struggles to keep himself strong and straight with everything that gets thrown at him, all the stress. To be The Green Ninja (X).

Little Soldiers: Young Garmadon and Wu, I think. It's their doomed brotherhood, the way they loved each other clearly as impulsive youth ("on the broken backs of all the words we spared, like little soldiers in the trenches, it was a march we made through ruin and despair but we held hands all the while") but ultimately Wu couldn't keep his brother. The bridge reminds me of the war. (X)

Metaphor: Harumi, obviously. There's really no debate, it's her fake mask as the Jade Princess, it's her relationship to Lloyd even. "I've gotten good at leaning on metaphors, I've gotten good at leaning on someone else's page, I cut my teeth on second hand sentiments, you can't trust a single thing I say" -> princess era. It's a sweetly bitter song, chalk full of implications of trauma. The line "but I always dig up bones in your sympathy, I can't trust a single thing you say" is relevant to her relationship with Lloyd, I feel. (X)

Of Everlong: This is a lovely and very soulful song, short and sweet. It's reminiscent of Pixane, to me, specifically from Pixal's perspective. There's a certain connectiveness in being in someone's head. "and if my lover will not hear it take my voice and take my spirit leave weakened and dig my hole only my lover not I can keep my soul" vs "I do not know if there is anything after this life for beings such as you or I, but if there is, I will find you there. Goodbye my Zane." (X)

New Discovery: Fairly simple and not to deep, but this is a Misako song. Adventurer and explorer, and all (X).

The Moon Will Sing: I want to preface two things, A) this interpretation is very much looser and a little less connected t the full original meaning of the song and a little more based in reworking it to fit the characters and B) Wu haters will be stabbed by my mighty and large sword. This is Morro and Wu, on a level. "I shine only with the light you gave me", the light here i the green ninja prophecy,something Morro latched onto to prove his wroth, who is, who is to Wu. The entire song as an air of bitter grief I think fit's Morro and Wu's story. Morro could've grown up and been something more than a half baked angry ghost chasing a dream from 40 years ago, but he wasn't, "I could've been anyone, anyone." (X) (X) (<- an extra link to the demo of the song!! I find it rather lovely)

(Extra note on The Moon Will Sing, I could also see this being a song about Zane/The Ice Emperor and Vex.)

Rockslide: this is about to be very unsurprising, I associate this with Cole! There's obviously the title but generally I think the energy of the song is very Cole-like, in the fun sense. There's also the lines about feeling the "quakin honey I feel it deep" which is rather self explanatory. (X)

The Hand That Feeds: I'm shaky on this one simply because I don't remember or know her character very well, but Akita. Has a lot of mention of wolves and is a very angry song against systemic oppression (though, in the song it's anti-capitalism lol). (X)

Sleeping Giants: another Cole song, mostly based on the presence of mountains, and the 'calling' aspect of the song. I also tend to associate songs with strong drums like in this with Cole (like Drumming Song by Florence and the machine) (X).

Never Love An Anchor: I've seen this song go around actually, mostly with Misako. Which, I agree with! However, I consider it a dual song with her and Garmadon. Specifically, their season one selves. It's Misako leaving Lloyd at that boarding school, it's Garmadon being so absent even though he so clearly loves his son (and despite his evilness, he doesn't seem to wish Lloyd to follow in his footsteps). The first verse really resonates with me as being Misako, clumsy hands and trying her best, and all. The last verse however, is Garmadon ("I am selfish I am broken I am cruel") and so is the line "With this heart of mine that's guilty not remorseful." If you haven't heard this song, I truly, truly recommend it, it's gut wrenching imo. (X)

Okay! We've reached the end of Coyote Stories. That's 11/12 songs out of the albums, the best ratio we have on this listing I believe. Moving onto Foxlore now!

Foxlore:

Nothing At All: when I was looking at this song, trying to decide who to apply it to, I ended up getting kind of emotional. It's Zane, post Ice Emperor specifically. In his self-dehumanization. I'm just going to list out the lyrics that made me incredibly sad lol. "Happy is the man who wants for nothing happy is the lair happiness itself is desire", "heart broken men long to feel nothing to free themselves from strife handle pain, pain doesn't define a man it sure lends an hand getting measured in the sweeter parts of life". (X)

Down The River: Lloyd, post Garmadon revival and Crystallized. All his bitter feeling towards his father, and the angry abandonment issues. The first verse ("I've been wishig that you'd prove me wrong, that you'd come clean and rue the damage done, restore my faith in you, but you've got no reaosn to") and fifth ("Now, tell me, when you start again where will you house your skeletons? Or will they stay behind? Your settlement in kind?") especially. (X)

Can't Go Back: Zane, post Ice Emperor, again. It's that guilt man, I don't really have more to explain but know it makes me Sad. (X)

Turn Out The Lights: Jay, this is mostly about an anxiety head-canon lol, considering the song is about a racing mind. (X)

Ribs: this song is so Nya it hurts. It pretty strongly connects to her arc over the seasons about self independence, identity, and misogyny. It's her finding her place as who she is, and taking back things as her own ("It is mine, it is mine). Verse three I like to connect to her element being of Wojira's and how that is so symbolic of her place in the team (and why she reflect Morro so well in a lot of ways but I won't get into that), "time has changed the metaphor, now, dust is not the orgin of bone, little girl don't let them sell you any armor all your ribs are still your own". There's also the main chorus, which, god I got sad when I looked at it from the angle of Seabound. "The dark doesn't frighten me I chose to close my eyes, it is mine, it is mine, the night doesn't frighten me I chose to let it thrive, it is mine, it is mine." (X)

Not The Ghost: perhaps a little literal but, Cole in his Day Of The Departed era. Though, it connects to his feelings at the time more than his literal ghost-hood. It pretty strongly captures the depression, low self esteem, and growing urgency (around the Latter half of the song). You could also read some of the lyrics as paralleling the events of DOTD itself. (X)

And that's it for Foxlore, that is...6/10 I think, so not the worst either. Fun fact, this next section is my favorite album as a whole :)!

The Fool In Her Wedding Gown:

Icarus: now who else would this be about if not the doomed siblings of the series? Of course it's Wu and Garmadon. I think of this pretty strongly as paralleling their 'adventures' as young children, and then the war. "Oh my brother, oh my brother, oh my brother, who have you become in the wake of all that's happened here", yeah. The entire energy of the song has that weird sad, yet hopeful regret Wu seems to carry around with him in regards to Garmadon, it's a very loving song. (X)

Fangs: Nya, the entire song carries the desperate anger she has, the longing for independence and strength. It's bitter too, in a way that reminds me of her from Rebooted to Skybound. "I am not your highness, a damsel left helpless by fright, I am a lioness, fierce as I walk through the night", "a man will never know his bride"...and well, she was a bride once, wasn't she? (X)

That's it for TFIHWG actually, I know, sad sad ratio but I am also not suprised because a lot of the songs on this album are rather specific.

Safe Ship, Harbored:

New Colors: this one is really simple, Lloyd, and only because it reminds me about how consistently stressed he is lol. (X)

The Crooked, The Cradle: This is a Morro song, to me. The idea of were you doomed from the start (the cradle), or was this purely because of the choices you made? The line "can anyone hear me? The crooked are smiling, they know me the best" strongly reminds me of him and the Preeminent. (X)

(Additionally, this came to me as i was writing this section but I could also see this song being Garmadon coded.)

Caleb Trask: Oni Lloyd! The entire song is about the concept of having 'bad in your blood' and how you simply have to embrace it. That you cannot let it chain you, that love will bring you back. Reminds me of him. (X)

I Ain't Done: if you look at this from a purely conceptual level and energy wise, this song is very Morro. It's got his vengeful, jealous and vicious return from the dead to wreck havoc vibes lol, the lyrics in a literaly sense, however, do not fit. (X)

We're nearing the end now! kind of! 4/12 ratio.

Here I Am: Live From The Listening Room:

High Horse: Jaya, actually. From Rebooted to Skybound, from Nya's pov. Mostly, I connect it to that weird, unhealthy desperation Jay had for Nya and Nya's desire to be free of it, her own self. "You're a sweet heart, you're a curse, you're a passing grade on a low, low bar, you've got your eyes open, I know your worth, but I've got so many things in my hungry, hungry heart", sums it up pretty well. (X)

Here I Am: This one's Cole, but it's a bit of a mixture on why. First up, it's again DOTD era Cole with all his being forgotten angst and anxiety. Secondly, and maybe more painfully, it really reminds me of his and Lou's relationship early on. Neglected child core, and all that ("I promised myself I'd learn to be the one who leaves, with no more roots to tie me down, it's just a different kind of lonely"). The last verse is strongly reminiscent of his pure stubbornness, too. (X)

Queen Of Nothing: Solidly Harumi, a lot on vibes and mood. It's got a dark, sort of unsatisfied sound to it. The chorus screams her , "Isn't this what you wanted? Time sure feels like it's running out, just finish what you started, queen of nothing wearing such a heavy crown." (X)

Sowing Seeds: this one's a bit more general, it reminds me of Possession, the season. It's also a very moody song, having a tired, haunted sort of energy. It also fits nicely into the theme of consequences in Possession. The first verse ("still as a lake long after the wind is gone, in the face of a thief mashing ground to mud, still as a street long after the work is done, as he gnashes his teeth, as he cuts it up, cuts it up") heavily reminds me of Morro. (X)

Hollow Moon: fairly simple, Hollow Moon reminds me of Cole's fear on DOTD. It's got that spooky and paranoid sort of energy. (X)

The Wolf: this both a Harumi and Morro, bearing that bitter, self destructive energy. (X)

Now, that concludes all the albums thus far, and I know I sad we'd leave off on HIA:LFTLR, however, I am a lair. There's a couple songs that aren't on albums that's be a shame not to mention.

Margaret: this is Misako, in her loss of her husband, and her trails to find a way to fix things. "She's breaking her knuckles on truths that keep her awake, and she's tired but her jaw is set, she won't lose any more of the heart she still has left, so she says a prayer pulls the covers near and waits, Margaret won't sleep tonight." Lovely song. (X)

Scars: this is a newly released song! I believe it connects back to Never Love An Anchor, and as such, it fits Lloyd very well. Specifically in relation to Garmadon, post revival. It so so fits all that anger in him at his dad ("cause I was born with a whole in my heart, yeah, we were fucked from the start, tell me it's inevitable I'd end up with scars from falling down, down, we were always meant to fall apart"). (X) (X) (<- the second is a live audio recording that is personally my favorite!)

Okay, no we're done! Anyways, if you read all the way down here I hope any of this made sense. This is a little bit of a love letter to The Crane Wives and Ninjago, I spent hours doing this lol. If you haven't heard any or some of these songs, please do listen to them!! Every song mentioned should have an accompanying link. Anyways, time to end this stupidly long post, please share if you have any thoughts or connect songs differently!!!!!!!!

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

thoughts on fanfiction, perfectionism, and being enough

I'm pretty sure I'm ill and half-asleep and the Good Omens fandom has destroyed my last tenuous grasp on reality, but I am making a post anyway not knowing what I'm going to say. Because that's what this site is for, is it not?

*holds out hand* *waits for you to take it* Hey, you know, you're never going to be done. You're never going to look at something you made and think it's perfect. It's never going to be enough. It's okay to stop and it let it be imperfect. The earth didn't just birth life into just the right conditions, it made creatures which evolved and went extinct, ice ages which ended, volcanos that destroyed life and volcanos that preserved cities for millennia. It made jagged rocks that would be smoothened by rivers and stomachs that would hunger, rivers that would flood and rivers that would run dry.

Create imperfect things and give them to the world. Let the world create from it in turn in an endless cycle. Like Milton on the Bible, like BBC with Sherlock Holmes, like anyone writing fanfiction of their favourite show... Let your creation be imperfect, so you can see all the million ways in which people try to perfect it. All the million ways in which perfection can exist. That's the beauty of fandoms and fanworks. It keeps the creation evolving, keeps it breathing and alive. It becomes the work of a million people, and carries their stories with it in a little back pocket.

And maybe we were made to be imperfect too. Our hair tangles just to be brushed, our arm itches just to be scratches, our hand clenches just to be held and unclenched. There are odd shapes that make us up but they fit in with everyone else's, in handshakes, in bridal carries, in a parent lifting a child, a rescue worker lifting a victim, a girl kissing her wife, a child hugging his toy, a person holding their hands in prayer or in pain.

I'm trying to remind myself of that, because it's so easy to keep wanting more, to believe that there will be a point at which I will be satisfied with what I have done. Even in this fandom, I look at my ridiculous summaries I accidentally wound up making, and look at someone's beautiful meta blog and I feel like shrinking a little bit. But in real life, I'm a designer and an artist, a reader and poet and songwriter, and someone who has been a writer the past eight years, if not all my life. Have I done enough to qualify for any of these roles? Who knows? It shouldn't matter to me, and it shouldn't matter to you, whatever you love doing or are doing.

It will never be enough, you will never be enough for yourself. Can we try to make peace with that little gap in ourselves that acts like a vacuum to keep sucking in more and more effort and things? It'll never be filled. That's okay.

*squeezes your hand before letting go* Isn't it amazing how imperfect and fucked up we all are? Isn't it beautiful that we don't have to sit and stare at statues we cannot touch, but we get stone that we can keep carving all we like? That creation starts with imperfection? I don't know if I'm making sense anymore, the medications are kicking in and my eyes are closing. But I love all of you, everyone who is a maggot and everyone reading this post, too.

Take this *holds out a seashell* it's pretty and it's broken and the animal that made it his home changed it, the sea changed it, and I hope you change it, too. That's all.