#all my life. bookshelf.
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this is not how i am supposed to start my year.
#so years ago my parents bought our current house#but there were some sligh foundational issues - nothing too big at the time#since then our house has been taken over by cracks in our walls and doors and windows#and I had to MOVE out of my room (my SANCTUARY) into the spare bedroom#and now I cannot sleep#the carpet is too fluffy (I paced and danced in my old [OLD] room so the carpet is rough now)#the room it Too Clean (I had to discard my jeans on the floor just to give it a little messiness)#it's much warmer in here#the window is different#this room has so much space - TOO MUCH SPACE for just little old me#a vaulted ceiling?? nope. nope nope nope I need my flat one#I need my room smaller it is meant for one person only -> moi#even sherlock is freaking the fuck out because he cannot go into the old room#SPEAKING OF WHICH#my beautiful precious room now looks like a tornado hit it!!!#cardboard boxes trash and clothes are all across my floor and I now have two different mattresses just hanging out#in my poor old room#and I HAVE. NO. BOOKSHELF.#all my life I've always had a bookshelf for my books and knick knacks and cute little succulents#all my life. bookshelf.#no bookshelf here#only vaulted ceiling#and the closet is too big for me!!!#I don't need all of this space and I don't need all of this change#some of this furniture I'm using isn't even mine!#my mother (an actual godsend) helped me bring in as much of my furniture as we could#but my bedframe is gone - the one I'm using is too big and hits the wall to easy!#I know okay I KNOW that I need to be an adult about this but I am freaking the fuck out#in six to eight months I'm not going to be living here anyways I'm going to be living in college#so all of this had to happen sooner or later right??
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I don't have a cool gaming rig, so I took Loona out foraging instead.
#Loona#Hazbin Hotel#Helluva Boss#Spectrumshift#hatedom I beg of you to cool your jets#I have literally no opinion on this show#but my friend sent me this cool statue that they made#and it sits on my bookshelf now#I show it to all of my visitors like a proud grandma#because they worked really fucking hard to bring this sexy furry waifu to life
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Ensayos sobre la empatía
#took me a while but finally finished them all yay#essays on empathy#deconstructeam#underground hangovers#zen and the art of transhumanism#supercontinent ltd#engolasters january 2021#behind every great one#11:45 a vivid life#eternal home floristry#dear substance of kin#the bookshelf limbo#de tres al cuarto#de tres al cuarto game#fanart#digital art#art#my art#artists on tumblr#featured#blood#ask to tag
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kittyyyyy
#cute cats#caturday#black cat#cat#cats of tumblr#pretty#beautiful#beauty of life#lana del rey#self love#im just a girl#love#tumblr girls#all love#2014 nostalgia#aesthetic#fall aesthetic#books#books and reading#bookshelf#i love cats#my faves#love it#let the light in#kiss kiss#bye
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I gotta kill the Mom 4 Liberty in my head and accept that it's okay to have problematic literature on my shelf considering that none of the authors on my shelf no matter what they did is currently using their notoriety, money, and fan support to fund a hate movement and directly lobbying her government to enact hate crimes.
Or are dead anyway
#actually i think all the dead problematic authors are on my ereader and not my bookshelf bc of Project Gutenberg#I've resisted posting my book shellfie here bc of a recently canceled author even tho i bought the books used years before anyway#also i miss my Hannibal Lecter books#i purged them from my shelf like 5 years ago bc i didn't want to be judged for their problematical themes#legit one time i nearly had a panic attack when i realized the book i picked for a book club had incestuous themes inside#which like. the book was about gods and pantheons i really should have seen that one coming#and i rambled an apology to the book club thinking my life was over. and literally no one cared#and the head of the book club was super concerned about me for how mortified i was#that was...ten? years ago
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were there any pre canon concepts for adrien's/felix's room? i hate the canon one so much the layout confuses me
Afraid not. I think the closest we have is the information that Felix/ Adrian's family owned a hotel (this is before he was made into the villain's son.) A lot of early and even current ladybug is pretty focused around Marinette. Nathan-Felix-Adrien as a character is shockingly inconsequential to the narrative as a whole. (Which is probably why he was so easily edited throughout development whereas Marinette stayed pretty consistent.... And is also apparently still the case from what I've heard of the recent season.)
You can actually really see a lot of the inspiration that it transferred to the agreste mansion... But it also lost a lot of style and flair. Richard had a lot of art deco inspiration in the buildings associated with his character. And you can kind of see that in the hotel piece here. It's all connected, at least I believe it is.
It makes sense that the current one is frustrating. It's a mix between " oh this is what a fabulously wealthy teen boy would like" being full of video games and literal arcade machines, but still having like no personality? Like it's big. Because Adrian is rich. And it's like... Largely undecorated because Gabriel is like a minimalist or whatever... Except for all of the stuff that Adrian has because he's rich. And that's literally the end of it.
Edit: If I were to fathom a... A room that does line up with that hotel era then I would do something like this, except with more whites and golds rather than blue... Or just tailor it to however the cat's relationship to his father is.
#It's like go one way or the other man#is he overprotected and not allowed to express himself? then give him the bare bones room with nothing but the bookshelves.#or is he spoiled and sheltered where he can literally do whatever the fuck he wants to his apartment-sized room.#I never particularly like depicting Felix as a character who benefits from his father's wealth#largely because I'm caught between that crossroad of not really wanting to depict a rich character#but also you can't divorce that from Felix's narrative and still indulge in him being related to Richard#my favorite depiction is that sure his family is rich. But his father is also incredibly strict.#Felix gets the bare minimum. he gets a room. he gets a bed. he gets a desk. And because Rich is a generous soul... A bookshelf#but this isn't your house boy. And if you want to live here then you have to live by my rules and you have to fulfill my requirements#he has no rights to privacy. he has no rights to a space of his own. he has no rights to pick his hobbies. not while he's living there#and it's all painted in that bright white because if anyone's going to be a minimalist it's going to be Richard Sphinx#no wonder Felix likes to escape into books or hide at the library or spend his time in the park#no wonder he takes so easily to being chat when his life is like this#in Stark contrast to private Jets and literal yacht vacations and the best toys that daddy's money can buy energy that Adrian gives off
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They diagnosed me with liking comics disease
#i don't think ive ever thought about anything more in my entire life#genuinely it's probably right below thinking about food#I'm sick with it. there are gutters dividing the moments of my life#there are gutters dividing the weeks#it's like if i just get a little bit closer to the medium I can step inside#it's like I can understand a language but can barely speak it#my first language. I'm trying to speak it.#the panels crawl under my skin and the speech bubbles writhe in my gut and can someone die from this#can someone shed their skin and spread their wings from this#I'm heady with overexposure and waiting for a turning point that will never come where it somehow all falls away#stops being hours of my life and starts being one pure point of knowledge#no idea what's supposed to happen then. time shouldnt exist.#if I read enough comics -- *dissect* enough comics -- practice the language of scriptwriting --#if I process it all right I'll turn it into a diamond of certain knowledge. and then the perfect comic will pop fully formed out of my mind#the comic that all the others were building up to. the holotypical comic.#<- I forgot the right word for the version of something that is the best. but this is funnier#either way idk why my mental illness has decided this is actually going anywhere.#all I've got is a document titled “KILL THE FAIRY QUEEN” and 430 xmen comics in the past 3 months#and a bookshelf that's a little bit past capacity#dont even have a good grip on the language yet smh#i feel like im going to die Alien chestburster style and it'll be a speech bubble bursting out of me instead#you can spend thousands and thousands of hours on comics without even scratching the surface#and I haven't. i haven't scratched it yet
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I HATE BUILDING FURNITURE. sorry lesbians in my phone
#I have three (3) unfinished pieces of furniture lying around#the first (vanity) doesn’t have holes in the right places#the second (bookshelf) I broke so that’s my bad#and the third (cat litter box house that I just started building so I wouldn’t have to smell cat litter all the time) is missing a piece#FUCK my LIFE
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I'm unlikely to ever finish this (+ haven't been physically able to draw since january) so i'll just post it as is <3
#my art#started this one in december in krita while i was getting used to ut#still prefer to use csp alas#ive drawn this character multiple times over the years but i have no idea who they are#only that theyre 2 meters tall and probably male and female#and magical cause thats how it Always goes..<3#not ffxiv but IF i made them theyd be elezen#i have a porcelain face in my bookshelf that idk where it came from#its been with me all my life. and i put some fake flowers in one of its eyes#and that was the reference/inspo for this#NO WAIT NOT DECEMBER NOVEMBER#i just did the largest chunk of it in december#winter depression memory fog
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why did my redbull make me sleepy
#NOOO LITTLE REDBULL YOU ARE MEANT TO GIVE ME ENERGY#i have to pack my life up in four days and i have just spent the past three days going through my bookshelf#all i want is a little nap but alas my body will not allow me to do so#such is life#what’s going on in nero’s mind?
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I finished Songs for the Missing today. It’s really fucking bleak. I can’t quite call it cathartic; just dull and empty in a very, painfully Midwestern kind of way.
#songs for the missing#Stewart O’Nan#It’s a really good book; but it’s leaving a bad taste in my mouth because it’s too true to life for my tastes LOL#I need a janky old sci fi novel to fix me#I need an apartment with a tall bookshelf on which to store all the janky old sci fi novels to fix me#Maybe I’ll read John Brunner’s Time Jump or The Counterfeit Man#or The Island of Doctor Moreau by HG Wells#But yeah I read for two hours straight not really focusing because I was thinking#about when to schedule the apartment viewings and the order in which I should transport my stuff to the apartment#I’m extremely stressed btw (I don’t even need to say that because [gestures to this blog which is more venting than whump])#(unfortunately)#Now Iz’s cover of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” will forever be associated with Kim Larsen the fictional character#who could be a real murder victim on Dateline
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i'm gonna start wearing catholic iconography for real. i'm gonna start being really insane about catholicism in my day to day life. noooooo you don't understand i mean it for Real this time i've been extremely normal about it so far
#valentine notes#now i know you might think 'hey. bracken rarely even leaves the house without a cross on him. what does he mean For Real'#'bracken is already extremely weird about catholicism in both his behavior and his fashion choices'#yeah. sure. but you all have to understand that this is also me at a Baseline being very normal#which. is not the same as every few months when i get the urge to Practice catholicism.#escaped the 'i need to go to church' urge last summer (barely) but now i am collecting little catholicism items again...#little kitschy gold archangel figurine on my bookshelf. saint sebastian pendant on. only going to get worse#SO bad actually. went 'i should get a little bible to carry around' as i was writing that last tag no you SHOULDN'T#anyway once i find a way to incorporate my gorgeous rosary into day to day life.#SO BAD. BEEN THINKING ABOUT PRAYING THE ROSARY. LIKE AS A HABIT.#anyway saint sebastian pendant never leaving my neck ever again i'm so....#i'm. gonna look like i practice catholicism for real maybe.#this is not a statement that's true because i dress in a manner that is very clearly not Religious Guy.#but like. hey. dkfjgh. if someone showed up in a saint necklace every single day what conclusion would you draw#asking for science#CANNOT wear it to work unfortunately. not cause there's any rules against it but i'm personally not going to bring#religious imagery around the kids. i get away with little cross jewelry nd stuff but like#having to explain to a child what the t on this coffin necklace is. well. i will not be responsible for introducing a child to christianity#anyway who wants to see my saint sebastian pendant :D#catholic tag
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i just cleaned my room and
I have realized how much of a hoarder I am, god DAMN
my wings of fire collection should be illegal and I can't believe (even though it was a great series) that I'm still attached to it
my hoARDING PROBLEM
#what makes it worse is that I still have more stuff to do#this was just my bookshelf and half desk area#i threw so much stuff away this time around#and now I actually have a functioning desk!!!#im lowkey excited for this semester...#like the aesthetci#and i have this orange squishy unicorn that's named Calvin and he watches over me#hoarding#room cleaning#funny#meme#lol#laugh#things to look at to make you carry the burden of life easier#i dont know what you gays search up#in all honesty in the last tag I mean to say “gals” and “guys” seperately... and I mean#dude#i had an epiphany I need to make a real post about#gals + guys = gays#duders#bro#im shooketh
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15/28 books for the coming year have been secured… i’m trying to be financially strategic, so the remaining ones are all scheduled to be read AFTER my birthday except for a mythical copy of Anna Karenina my mom is trying to track down for me. We’ve been looking for three days and every time i suggest we might have given it away, she invents a new place it might be.
#she is SO sure we have it#currently it’s ‘probably in the garage’ so she’s gonna look tomorrow while i’m at work#i will keep you all posted#anyway - i currently have ten books piled on top of my bookshelf and they are making me SO happy#i don’t feel intimidated at all because i’ll have the schedule to guide me!#it’s not like i’m just expecting myself to get it done - i have a PLAN here#honestly the best thing about becoming an adult is learning how to adequately support myself#discovering that i can do basically anything provided i make a crazy spreadsheet about it beforehand has been WILD#but exceptionally rewarding#ULTIMATE life hack - truly
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not to beat a dead horse, but I think the primary reason why I simply Cannot with greek mythology is that in ~2017ish this genre of posts became popular that was like, "greek gods as modern day aesthetics" and the first couple I saw were fun, but....then it became clear that EVERYONE was just using the EXACT SAME stereotypes and...yeah. I saw like 30 of these posts. I considered deleting tumblr for a while over these posts. they were SO annoying and blandly surface-level but everyone making them thought they were sooooooo hyper-intellectual hashtag dark academia.
and of course right after that there was a boom in greek mythology content, presumably started by TSOA and that one videogame about Hades teenage son having to talk to allt he other gods or something... idk all I remember about that game is it's the first time I ever heard the term "roguelike" but it seemed too boring to warrant such an interesting genre title WHATEVER. ANYWAY. so now whenever I encounter greek mythology media I'm like, "do you have real, well-formed opinions, stories, and a knowledge of history, or are you just enamored with picturing Hades as a motorcycle gang zaddy and Athena as your hashtag dark academia queen mommy, and decided to slap some aesthetics together into something vaguely resembling a story?"
#ive never been a big fan of greek myths. i just missed that phase as a child im sorry. i was an egypt kid when it came to history#but the like. modern yassification/faux feminist/aesthetic-driven/make-this-a-romance THING people do to the myths#drives me up the wall even more than usual#just cause it's all so....basic. surface level. people just want them to be pretty stories and not...examine them in interesting ways#the only person who kind of gets a pass is francesca lia block and ONLY because she predates this trend#and 14 y/o steph owes her a life debt#I SHOULD BE WRITING NANO AND YET IM RANTING ABOUT THIS WHOOPS#im literally lying in bed staring at circe on my hanging bookshelf wondering if I'll end up DNFing it#i want to try it bc I've heard her prose is good but also. is it just going to be another Once and Future Witches scenario thats like#'let me see how far i can shove my FEMINISM!!!!!! down your throat! don't worry about plot!!!'
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guys i rearranged my room <3
#now i just need to like. clean it#BUT im hoping the change will help my brain stop feeling so stale and stuck#i've moved my bookshelf right up to my bed so now i can actually see and remember my books are there#AND i got a like. a hangy thing for my clothes so i can see all of them all the time and wont forget what clothes i have#i cleaned my mirrors and switched the couch and vanity around which managed to really open up the room which is cool#found the collection of art books that i've never used in my life but absolutely should so now they're on the bookshelf#idk im feeling good and refreshed#captain speaks
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