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etherealily · 4 months ago

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𝕊𝕀ℕ // 🇳🇦🇹🇪 🇯🇦🇨🇴🇧🇸

No one seemed to like the cliffhanger, so here's a draft that i converted into a makeshift part 6.

Nate Jacobs + Fem!reader. Warnings : Dark. NSFW. Drugs. Contains brief explicit content. Literally the only smut I have ever and will ever write.

Part 1 : Whiplash Part 2 : 9 Lives Part 3 : Blessed Part 4 : Shards Part 5 : Eighteen

You do NOT have permission to repost and/or translate any of my fics.

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Nate had never been more pissed in his life. Ever. You'd blatantly disobeyed him. Well, not technically. No technically, you hadn't been told anything, but he'd have figured you weren't so dense as to go and visit Shane motherfucking Crestin in the motherfucking ER !

Honestly. It's like you had one braincell and all it told you was to piss him off.

And fuck him. He definitely saw that in your eyes the last time.

Or was that the molly?

Probably the molly.

But whatever. The fact was, you wanted to fuck him, and he wanted to fuck you, and he had no idea why you wanted him out of your life if that was the case. Wasn't that fate? Two people want something so bad, they should end up doing it, no? Not going and visiting the reason they couldn't do it in the ER.

Yeah, he decided.

Yes. They. Should.

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He'd figured you would avoid him like the plague, anyway. So he didn't care if it reached you or not that he was helping McKay host a party. So imagine his surprise when, after about two months of no contact, you showed up at his party.

"Whoa."

You frowned. "Excuse me?'

"What happened to 'get the fuck out of my life, Nate?' What, were you just full of it?"

"Dude. If me being here bothers you that much, I'll just fucking leav-"

"Jeez, don't be a baby, short stuff.", he cooed, patting your head before slinging an arm around you. "C'mon, let's do shots."

"Hey, whoa, whoa, none of this friendliness."

He rolled his eyes, removing his hand from you. "Fine. C'mon. I missed you."

And the problem was, he did. He actually fucking missed you. Which was the weirdest thing to happen to him since... well, birth. It wasn't anything in particular, it wasn't even the fact that you were easy on the eyes.

He, like a fucking simp, just liked you being around him.

With as much trepidation as a sycophant scorned by his master, he gently, reverently, offered you a shot. "For old times' sake?"

You rolled your eyes, taking it from him. "For old times' sake? Like, the time you got me drunk at school?'

He smiled, his hand slowly back around your shoulder as he tugged you closer, kissing your temple. "We could always go back, y'know?", he murmured next to your ear. "Get high on the bleachers again."

"No."

"C'mon, we haven't hung out in two months. Ditch these fakes. I'm the fun one, anyway."

Jesus.

He took a long drag of his vape, the smoke bombarding your face. He proferred it to you and frowned when you declined. "Why not?"

"I don't vape."

"Are you one of those bitches that says 'smoke a real cigarette'?"

"No, I don't smoke at all."

He rolled his eyes. "We're going to the bleachers."

It was weird, to say the least, the air between you two back at the bleachers. You sat, looking up at the sky, the grass, anywhere but his eyes, and he sat with his head on your lap.

Silence covered the two of you until he sighed. "Can we just pick up where we left off?"

"And where was that?"

"With me almost eating you out."

You scoffed. You wouldn't have done that if you thought he was being serious. You wouldn't have done that if you were entirely sober. But you didn't and you weren't, so you scoffed. "Right. Yeah. Sure."

"I'm not joking. You're making this harder than it needs to be. There isn't any ulterior motive, this is just... boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Girl likes boy-"

"Debatable.", you muttered, but he ignored it.

"-Boy wants to fuck girl, girl wants to fuck boy, boy fucks girl. Why are you adding shit? Do you want drama? Is that what this is? Because we could do drama. I could do drama like you've never fucking seen before!"

In Nate speak, that meant he had a big dick and he wanted you to know.

"Look. It's just too complicated. You've- there's too much-"

"Forget it all. 'Kay? Just you and me.", he replied immediately, sitting up.

"Because you quote-unquote 'love' me."

"Exactly that." His lips found yours, and surprisingly, this time, you actually had a spine and pulled away.

"What the FUCK?"

Huffing, he rolled his eyes and stroked your cheek as he shifted and knelt down. "Can we skip the part where you scream 'what the fuck, what the fuck' and push me away and get to the part where you admit you want me? I've had a long day."

Seeing him down there did nothing to make you feel safer.

"Nate-"

"Jesus fuck, Y/N, please, just, for the love of god-", he muttered, as if you were being an inconvenience at the moment and not him, the asshat on his knees. "Would you just relax?"

"Look, Y/N. I love you.", he said, and his hands slowly slid up to the hem of your shirt, his thumb rubbing the skin right under it. "Let me show you."

"You don't love me. Stop saying that."

"Fine, then. I want you. And stop telling me you don't want me, like it's a mortal sin or something.", he warned, gripping the backs of your thighs.

Sadly, you couldn't entirely blame this on the molly this time.

It definitely contributed to the decision, but mostly to the fact that it made every single touch of his explode with a robust... flavour that you couldn't replicate even if you tried.

He smiled up at you so softly you'd think he was on his knees to propose. But no. Instead of opening up a little box, he opened the fly to your pants.

"Can you look at me, please?"

You sighed, looking down. "What?"

"You really don't look like you're against this. I'd even go so far as to say you want me, but you're too much of a pussy to admit it."

You did want him. BUT. You were against this. Because it was wrong. But you were letting him kiss up your thighs, bite at your lower abdomen.

Meaning it was the world according to Nate and it both infuriated you and turned you on.

FUCK.

Hums came from both your mouth and his, and before you knew it, your fingers felt nothing but the locks of his hair, pulling so hard there was no way he wasn't in pain. And he must have been, because gently, so seamlessly, he trailed his hand up to yours, removing it from his hair and interlocking it with his own.

But he didn't pause. His tongue continued doing... well, whatever the hell it was doing that made you want to stab the Earth for being able to produce Nate Jacobs as well as praise it for... well, being able to produce Nate Jacobs.

"You're a virgin?", he asked, breathless, raising a brow in incredulity.

You'd be lying if you said your brain even registered his question - registered anything but his tongue and lips.

"Are you a virgin?"

"Why? Don't tell me this is still a test to see if I'm easy or not-"

"It's not.", he assured, reaching up slowly, and then kissing your cheek of all fucking places. One of his hands trailed back down and into you while the other one immediately closed your mouth, though you had no idea why. It was a fucking desolate high school football field. No one was going to hear anyway.

He grinned, pressing his forehead against yours as he added another finger, curling them as he worked into you. "Shh, shh, shh.", he murmured, after probably feeling the results of you trying not to lose your shit beneath his palm.

"See? We go great together."

You screamed. But it didn't quite carry.

He frowned in confusion for a moment when you made a muffled noise and then muttered an 'ah' as he gently removed his palm from your mouth.

"That's not..."

"Hm? That's not what?"

You could have killed yourself right there, because he smirked is what he did. He smirked when you couldn't finish (and barely even start) your sentences.

"That's not even remotely..."

You were stalling. That was clear. Why? You didn't know. There was no logical reason. He was already fucking inside you, there was no point in backing out of this now.

But there was reason to hesitate.

He sighed, licking his lips and shaking his head in disappointment, brushing hair from your face. "Hey."

"What?"

"If you don't fuck me right now, I will lose my shit. I will cut myself. I will play Russian Roulette again. That work for you?"

Oh, this sick, sick, sick, SICK motherfucker.

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Why you did it? Question for the ages.

You should've said no. You should've gone home. You didn't go home, though, not even after the fact. You probably should have.

Instead, you found yourself back at Fezco's store. Not voluntarily, either, it just seemed your car was as drained as you were, and you forgot to fill it back up.

"Rue?", you called out into what you imagined to be an abyss. Her voice appeared like light at the end of a tunnel. "Hey."

"You high?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"I need someone to pick me up."

"Maddy's not free?"

"I didn't check."

"Well.", she groaned, shifting around, clearly in some sort of drug-induced discomfort, "You should. I don't wanna kill you, y'know, you mean so fucking much to me."

The sarcasm in her voice was mildly hurtful, but hey. At least she cared enough not to kill you.

More than Nate had ever cared.

"Okay."

So, of course, you called Cassie. Because no fucking way were you calling Maddy to come pick you up from the store owned by the local dealer, which was suspiciously close to the party thrown by her ex.

The car ride with her was smooth and lovely and peaceful. Because she was smooth and lovely and peaceful.

"You think your car will be safe, out there, all night?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I told Fez. He knows what to do."

"Y/N, I... I've noticed you've been off, like, the last term or so."

You did not need her therapy session right now.

"Nah, I'm fine."

"You're not.", she chuckled, nervously, shaking her head as she slowed down at the red light. "You seem on edge. I think it's cause of him."

"Him?" WHAT? How the fuck did this ditz know?

"Yeah. Like, I don't know, maybe you're in love with him, and you think it's, like... forbidden, because he's a bad influence or something, but you just kinda look... strung out. Like there's a huge secret you're keeping."

She was supposed to be clueless about what was going on around her. Isn't that the thing they say about hot blondes?

"Love? In love? With who?"

"Fezco, of course. I get it, he's a dealer, but he's also hot, and I guess, let's face it, he's quite nice for a criminal."

Oh, thank god. The dumb blonde theory stands.

"I'm not in love with Fez."

"Then why are you so... off?"

"I...", you sighed, deciding to stick to the truth as much as safely possible. "I got in with some bad people during spring break."

The look of concern on her face made you want to apologize and buy her whatever she wanted, or maybe even confess to every fucking sinful thought you'd ever had.

"What? Oh, my god, what? Like, hard drugs and shit?"

"More like guns and shit."

"Y/N, WHAT?!"

"Yeah, it was fucked up, but I'm out of it now, though, so you don't have to worry, okay, Cass? I'm peachy. I'm great, honest! Hey, it's turning amber."

She frowned, turning back to the road in front of her. "You sure?"

You'd never been more grateful for Nate throwing the lamp to your right rather than your left.

You'd never been more grateful for Nate giving you a hickey on your right rather than your left.

You nodded. "Yeah. Thanks, though."

"So. Did you... you went to his party, right? Did you see him? Did you guys talk?"

It took you a moment to figure out that she was talking about her ex.

"McKay? Yeah. Yeah."

"How is he? Did he mention me?"

"He's, um... he's doing fine, I guess. He looks like he misses you, but you know him. He probably won't tell me."

"I just... maybe we... I just want to, um... fix things."

"You should."

"You think?"

You nodded. What the fuck else could you do to distract her from the fact that if she took one look down, she'd see Nate blowing up your phone? "Yeah, you guys were great together."

You instantly cringed. Because that was what Nate had said about you and him. "See? We go great together."'

"I don't know if I want him back, or what. What do you think?"

That I just fucked Nate Jacobs. And that the molly was only half of it. That I'm going to kill myself.

"I think... I think you broke up for a reason, Cass."

She nodded, and the rest of the car ride went in pleasant silence.

Then she dropped you home.

And Rue was waiting for you.

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"You're pissing me off. What is this, blackmail?'

"Yeah. It is. I saw you two in the bleachers, and if you tell people I'm not sober, I'll let it slip that you let Nate Jacobs inside you."

Keep your calm. If you show even a tiny sign of accepting that she was right, you're dead meat. "It was a psych project. He had just finished a practice, so we sat there and finished some work."

"With tequila?"

Silence. Okay. She was not talking about tonight. She was talking about the gun-night. This was salvageable.

"Funnily enough, Y/N, according to what Lexi told me, there's been no 'psych assignment-slash-project.'"

"Rue-"

"So you've not only been lying to all of us, you've been betraying Maddy. And you've done Jules so wrong.'

"Look, you don't even know-"

"Then tell me."

So you did. You told her about the Instagram story, you told her about the Russian roulette, hell, you even told her about the dinner and the scar. What you didn't tell her about was the sex. The mind-blowing guilt-inducing sex.

"But I saw you kiss him on the bleachers."

"I was drunk, Rue. I'd have let the fucking janitor kiss me."

"Look, Y/N, those are my terms."

"You're asking me to lie to everyone about your health, your wellbeing! We're all looking out for you, Rue! Y'can't just blackmail me into not doing right by you."

"As nice as that is, the fact still stands that you fucked Nate."

FUCK!

"Rue, please-"

"He doesn't even fucking want you. He wants to get back at Maddy, and you're too fucked out to see it!"

"Rue, you're crossing the li-"

"I bet that fucking him was the only thing you've been doing this whole time. What, did you fuck him when Maddy was with him?"

Rue laughed after you slapped her and that definitely told you she was so high she couldn't even feel it. "C'mon. Grow up.", she scoffed, tucking hair behind your ear. "Girl code's not important anymore, is it? We're all eighteen - adults - now."

WHY must everyone always do that with your hair? So fucking condescendingly, too?!

"Rue, I didn't fuck Nate Jacobs."

"Then why is he blowing up your phone? Yeah, you think I didn't notice the name on your screen?"

"He blows up my phone because he's a psycho- I told you about the Russian Roulette thing and the gun and the slit wris-"

"Yeah, but you said you asked him to leave you alone and he did. Why would he break no contact? What could've happened?"

"Rue, I am not going to help you fake sobriety in front of your family- I- Rue, what is that?"

She frowned, looking down and following your line of sight. Her bag. The front zip. A needle. She looked back up, deadpan. "Fent."

"RUE! YOU CAN'T EXPECT ME T-"

"Look, Y/N, I like you, I do. There's no reason for you to worry, okay? If you could be quiet, your life will go on as it always does. No reputation loss, no guilt, no embarrassment."

"This will kill you! I can't do that to you, Rue, please!"

"But you can do Nate Jacobs?"

You were genuinely about to strangle this fucking trapper cunt.

"Think about it."

What, had she gotten lessons in blackmail from him?

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That night, you were too fucking exhausted to even question why Nate was knocking at your window. You just opened it for him. You just let him kiss you. You just let him tuck your hair behind your fucking ear.

"I have a question."

"What?"

"Did you visit Shane in the hospital?"

Okay. No way he could have found out about that. You didn't tell a single fucking soul.

"Huh?"

"I beat him up for you. 'Cause he was saying you fucked when you didn't.", he said, his voice oddly calm for a man betrayed.

"I didn't ask you to!"`

"Please.", he scoffed, clapping sarcastically. "Biggest cop-out of the century."

"I didn't!"

"He was calling you a slut, basically. As if you'd just give it up to anyone." What, like he knew you that well?

"Hundreds of people say hundreds of shit about me every fucking day! What am I, supposed to set you on them?"

"You could."

You scoffed.

"I'm being serious. You could say "'sic 'em' " and I'd beat them to a bloody pulp.", he informed, brushing hair over your ear again. "Say it. Tell me someone to beat up. I'll do it. No matter who it is."

"Nate. I didn't ask you to do any of this. I asked you to leave me alone, and you did the opposite!"

"You're acting like I showed up, fucked you, and then just left!"

He clenched his jaw, his grip on the piece of hair he just pushed behind your ear, now shifting to the rest of your hair. "No, cunt. I said 'I love you'. Or did you conveniently forget that?"

Oh. Right. THAT.

"What? You're suddenly acting like a pussy, baby, what's up with that? Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't remember. Don't be a pussy. C'mon, tell me. Oh, yeah, wait a minute, you can't."

"You didn't mean that. You wanted to get what you wanted, so you-"

"You think I say shit like 'I love you' lightly? You think I throw that word around?" Yes, he did, but you didn't need to know that. He decided to deploy the trauma card.

"You've seen what my parents are like. You think I'd abuse the words 'I love you'?"

"I guess not-"

"Yeah. EXACTLY."

Ooh, you were putty in his hands and he almost got a semi because of it.

"Look, okay, fine, Nate, that- that was out of pocket, but you can't expect me to-"

"But I do. I have never lied to you. Have I? I've blackmailed you and threatened you and, fuck, yeah, I've stuck a goddamn gun down your throat, but when have I ever lied?"

"So you're saying you 'love' me and I have to just accept it."

"I'm saying I love you, and you have to just believe it.'

And god help you, you somehow did.

"Rue's blackmailing me."

He mock-gasped. "You're cheating on me, then."

You couldn't help the chuckle that left your lips. Him being so calm in the face of danger should make him look foolish in your eyes, not admirable.

And the molly excuse was being held up by string the breadth of dental floss, honestly.

"Does she use firearms as well? Did you think about me the whole time?" He was clearly trying to make you laugh, and it was working.

He kissed your forehead. "What did she blackmail you for?"

"For or about?"

"Both."

"For : keeping her relapse a secret from everyone. About : the gun-night at the bleachers."

"Okay, so the choice is clear."

"What?"

Nate Jacobs had scared you when he'd said he loved you and when he'd said he'd kill himself for you, but he'd never scared you as much as he did with what he said next.

"We just sit back and watch that bitch OD."

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thinking-emoji · 1 month ago

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RNZ interview mirror - the original file is exactly 700 kb too big for tumblr so I had to compress it slightly 🙃

Transcript under the cut!

YouTube megastars Dan and Phil will be coming to Aotearoa next week with a live show full of scandalous stories. For those who don't know them, these two Brits invented being internet famous. Coming to stardom in 2009, the pair have amassed a media empire with over 40 million combined followers, 2 billion views on YouTube, as well as a handful of best-selling books. Dan and Phil went on hiatus in 2018, with each coming out as gay soon after. This is their first tour together since then. The show is called Terrible Influence and it's coming to Auckland's Kiri Te Kanawa Theatre next Thursday, the 19th of December. I caught up with Dan and Phil earlier on the line from Australia.

DnP: Hello.

(Interviewer laughs)

D: Sorry, was that a weird stereo hello there? That must have been disturbing.

I: That's exactly how I wanted you to answer the call.

P: Yes, that's how we speak all the time. D: We share one braincell.

I: You speak in unison.

P: Yes. (laughs)

I: Because you two have lived together for quite some time, haven't you? D: We have. I: Not only working together for many years.

D: Yeah, like imagine like being really fed up with your co-worker and then you want to come home and you want to be like, God, this guy, I can't stand him. Like, what are we doing here, people?

P: Then he's in your house.

I: How long have you lived together for?

D: Errr, fourteen- P: No. D: No, thirteen- twel- P: Twelve years. I want to say twelve years. D: Twelve years, but it feels like 2000. Do you know what I mean? P: Time is not real. We don't know what's going on. D: At this point, we're like, you know, when you go to a zoo and there's two elderly tortoises that are about 400 years old. P: Yeah. D: That's how we feel. P: Yeah.

I: I'm glad that you've decided to, you know, take air travel to get to New Zealand.

D: It's literally the furthest place from home we could ever. So we get some tweets from people that are like, Dan and Phil, thank you for coming to New Zealand because, by golly, you've travelled a bit of a way. But hey, we're happy to be there. New Zealand is a beautiful country. P: Yes. D: And so are the people.

P: Whenever I come to New Zealand, I just want to move to New Zealand. I'm like, why am I in London when I could be in this beautiful, verdant land?

D: A lot of people do abandon for New Zealand and we understand why.

I: Yeah. Yeah. I'm glad that you do understand that. And it's your first big tour back since coming out in 2018. D: It is. I: The show is kind of a little bit like a gossip session. Is that right? Setting some things straight?

D: Absolutely. We're people that have been on the internet for a very long time and people have talked a lot of smack about us over the years, as a lot of people do with anyone with a lot of followers. And we're like, you know what? We all deserve to look back at our past. We all deserve to be roasted for the things that we did and said. That includes us being embarrassing and what our audience were like when they were all teenagers on the internet. But if we have a bit of a therapy session slash Catholic confession, we can end it with a bit of a hug and a pat on the back and go, it's okay. We survived. Here we are now in 2024. So it's like a roast and a healing session at the same time.

I: That must be quite an interesting thing because, you know, you both grew up on the internet and made so much content. You have this huge following that you've built. And so many people work really hard to kind of erase their former selves online. And that's probably something that you cannot do.

D: Oh, no. I would love to. It's too late. P: That's the thing as well. Sometimes our audience know us better than we know ourselves because they watch these videos so much. I never watch my videos back ever. So they'll come up to us at a meet and greet like, remember that thing you did in 2014? I'm like, no. D: No, I don't. P: I don't know what I said or did. D: But Phil, you love this ice cream flavour. P: Yeah. Speaking of ice cream, I'm excited for the Hokey Pokey ice cream. That was the thing I remember in New Zealand. I: It is good.

D: Yeah. Someone said, hey, you're excited to have it again. I was like, what was that? P: We don't have that. D: Don't you remember the time that you had it? P: No. D: Here, I've got this photo on my phone. P: Yeah. I'm going to have some more when I get there for sure.

D: That is not the main reason why we made the travel, but it will help with the jet lag.

P: It's 80% of the reason, I'll be honest.

I: Why is the show called Terrible Influence?

D: I think there's this idea that everyone on the internet, all these creators, all these TikTokers and podcasters are just horrible people that are trying to sell you some kind of crypto scam. And the truth is 90% of them are. And the question that we're asking is, were we terrible? What did we do to all these young people that watch it? Maybe the other question is, what did they do to us? Is what we do inherently bad? Is it a two-way street? Well, maybe we can answer that question and along the way just giggle so much that we kind of forgive and forget.

I: I'm sure you have a pretty good idea of the extent of your influence. But being in high school in New Zealand when Dan and Phil were first starting out, it was almost like a code word. (Dan laughs) It was how weirdos, kind of, identified with each other.

P: I think we've always been happy to kind of have representation for the slightly alternative people of the world.

D: Yeah, we like to joke that it's for the goths, the girls, the gays and the geeks. Any type of person that feels like on any level, they may not be completely mainstream. They may not be vanilla. They might feel other in any kind of way. We have an audience and we look out now because you understand when all these people were 14, it kind of looked like they were all teenagers. Now that they're all adults, some people are coming up to us, they're like, hi, Dan and Phil, meet my child. (laughs) But all these people have been in such different journeys in life. But it's knowing that, you know, back in the day, there was a place where no matter what kind of person they are, they felt like, you know what? Here in this comment section with these guys, I can just be myself and that makes me happy. I think whether that is something that we did do intentionally or it's an accidental byproduct of our influence, we'll take it.

P: And a lot of them have grown up with us as well. That's the lovely thing. So we're meeting people now that are just much older, but they're still watching the videos because we've- we've grown up and they've grown up as well.

I: Absolutely. And you took this hiatus, you know, from the internet. How long was that hiatus for and what was the impetus for it? And for coming back?

D: It was five dark years. P: Five years. D: And there was no Dan and Phil in the world until one day, like Jesus, we returned and here we are now.

P: We did. I think it's always a good thing to kind of have a moment where you're like, what's going on in life? Have a reset. And and I think we're kind of back now.

D: You know, like when everyone, you know, there was a pandemic and then they were like, you know what? My relationship, my job, you have decided it's not for me. I think we were trendsetters there. We did that early, voluntarily style, because we'd been going nonstop since 2009. And I was like, I just need to hit the brakes and look around for a little bit. And then I came back and I was like, hi, guys, I'm gay now. And they were like, ah, yes, that makes sense. But sometimes you have to hit the brake in life in order to take the space, look around you, take stock of things, make decisions. And ultimately, when you come back, it'll be healthier and happier.

P: And we didn't know this Dan and Phil thing- Like when we came back, we're like, do you guys still want these videos? And then, like, the reaction has been incredible, like, so many people watching the gaming channel. D: To the extent people thought Dan and Phil, you need to go on a tour right now. You need to get your butts all the way to Auckland (laughs) because I've been waiting for you to come back and we need to have a good night together. P: Yeah.

I: Yeah. And get out from behind the screen and kind of just interact face to face. You two are hugely into gaming and it's been quite a good pivot from YouTube to kind of try and be more successful, I guess. It's incredible how popular you are on these platforms. Can you tell me a little bit more about how that works and how you kind of make a career out of this?

D: Well, Phil's been doing it so long that he did it before YouTube could even monetize videos. He was doing it purely out of boredom and passion for the craft. P: Yeah. D: That's terrifying.

P: I'm a YouTube dinosaur. But I think with the gaming, we've got a Sims series, which we've got- how many episodes now? Like- D: Oh a hundred or so. P: A hundred episodes. And I think people follow along the journey with us playing the games. And it's like, I guess it's like when you were a little kid and you're watching your big brother play a video game. It's kind of that thing. You're just like watching along, having the bants. So I think what the people come to our videos for is more of the personality and us having a laugh rather than getting really into gaming.

D: Yeah! I mean, gaming is just the topic. It's like any type of TV or radio talk or commentary show, it could be about football, it could be about music and pop culture or the news, you just want to see people that you relate to, that you find entertaining, doing something that you find interesting and then you pair it together, and for lots of people they go: yeah! This is what i want to see P: Yeah.

I: Phil, how have you noticed the kind of gaming culture change over time, and was that something you're a little bit hesitant about, you know coming out as gay in that kind of domain, because we know generally that - you know, over the last decade-

D: The gamers are the worst demographic in the world absolutely- I: Things have changed. D: We’ve been on the internet since the ancient times and it's hard to say, like in a way obviously the internet these days, it feels like it's more terrible than ever, but in a sense it is a lot less toxic and a lot more wholesome and inclusive than it used to be.

P: Yeah, I'd say coming out on the internet is always going to be a scary thing, when you're saying that and being kind of vulnerable in front of so many people. Thankfully we've got such a great audience that the reaction was incredible, I would say.

D: And i think that what's great about the internet is that people can find their own communities, so even within spaces that you might think, oh they're dominated by this type of person – any subculture, any type of person that feels like, I want this space for myself – you can find it. If you want to order you know a ping pong club for girls with ginger hair called Susan that drink wine on a Tuesday, you can start that discord server, people will love it.

I: And I think it's nice to have those pocket on the internet where people can feel safe and can kind of commune together. You will be playing the Kiri Te Kanawa Theatre in Tāmaki Makaurau, Auckland, on December the 19th. What about people who didn't grow up watching you, who think you might be quite funny right now. Like what could you say to them if you want them to come to your show?

P: I'd say, well luckily for you we have got a whole section of the start of the show which is the complete history of Dan and Phil in five minutes, so if you might have just slightly known who we are and be like, what's going on with these guys? We're going to catch you up in no time.

D: A lot of people drag their boyfriends, their sisters, sometimes like that mum that you need to drive you so you can have a couple of cocktails to the show, and we're like we need something for these people, we're going to catch them up, we're going to get them on our side, and if we have a spot- there's like a grumpy dad folding his arms in row three, I'm like, I'm going to crack you P: but- D: My mission for the night is you're going to be belly laughing by the end. P: They're always smiling at the end though. That's the thing, we do. We do crack them.

I: Oh and this will be your last show before a well deserved Christmas break, then back into the new year. What will Christmas look like for both of you?

P: I mean we're going to try and get home for Christmas. D: Yeah, yeah the question is, can we get back from Auckland on the 21st of December? P: Twenty- yeah. I think it's gonna be a challenge to get all the way home, but then I'm probably just gonna be asleep on my mum's sofa with jet lag, hoping to drink a lot of cocktails. D: I'm gonna slip into a nice coma.

I: I'm really glad to hear you are back together again.

D: Oh, well thank you! We really, really appreciate it and we're so excited for the show, so thank you New Zealand. P: Nice speaking to you!

@dnp-described

#dan and phil #phan #shoutout to tumblr for crashing while i proofread the transcript #daniel howell #amazingphil

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thoughtsonkm · 5 months ago

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Mimi-san & Kookoo-san

This photo really fulfills my need for aesthetic shots

This episode (and probably the whole trip) is like the biggest, warmest, lingering hug someone could give you. Not letting go for a long time, until after it's over you're left with a full heart, teary eyes and a sense of unprecedented calmness.

So no Tokyo for us (as expected). That city really is theirs and theirs ONLY. (I read that ppl saw them with a camera in that ramen shop in Tokyo, so now everyone's thinking of a possible GCF #2 but that would be INSANE)

Jimin stop ruining the romantic moments JK creates, challenge failed! (he really does live up to the "conceal, don't feel" idea)

This ritual of Jimin singing Kook's new singles on each trip, is very very cute.

THE BABIEST OF THEM ALL another bean here⬆️

Did they lowkey have a gentle monster sponsorship? Way to go Jikook 👏🏻👏🏻

I know it's always been Jimin's go to brand for glasses so it feels kinda full circle. He should be some kind of brand ambassador for them.

Oh hello mister 'I can eat yo fingers but not yo potato peel' (I get it tho)

This is the single softest Jikook moment ever!! Period. End of discussion.

Sharing earphones, romantic music, beautiful scenery, calm setting, head on shoulder. - Who says romance is dead? 😭

Not even the background animation can ruin this for me. (ingenious idea nonetheless)

I CANNOT deal with the sweetness of this daughter talk. DO THEY KNOW WE'RE INSANE??

My guy starts talking about a family. The other guy he's gripping tight is already discombobulated, gulping, eyes going left and right lol

Jokes aside he really would be the most gentle, bestest, most caring dad ever 😭 (I promised myself to not get emo during this episode, I'm saving the waterworks for the inevitable last ep.)

I do remember they (especially Jimin) used to be pretty fluent in japanese so I'm guessing since they haven't done Japan promo since 2021, they forgot a little bit..

Imagine Jimin in a jazz bar with a 10 year old whiskey in hand, flirting with his bf.. Improv kings!

Happiness looks so good on them.

I love that from time to time they almost forgot they had a show to shoot. A DAMN JOB to do 😂

I present you a compilation of Jungkook saying how happy he is, how much he loves it and how good it is, during this episode.

LOL at them doing the english meme thing. Just two simple guys with ONE BRAINCELL. Looks like one of those random af videos they would watch while learning english.

Oh yes, we do indeed enjoy y'all gradually getting raggedy and fat 😂😂 He's hilarious, he's on a roll ladies and gents.

Jungkook half wishing they were the same age so they could "twin" even more (I'm sure that would be so convenient for you Jk 👀) as if it's possible for them to be even more on the same wavelength than they already are.

I do feel like in the distant future it would be such a good option for them to transfer and live in Japan cause it does seem like their favourite place in the whole world and the one place they feel themselves the most.

Sapporo in their 40es would be like a little hidden paradise for them to be somewhat free..

(let me dream)

#jikook #kookmin #jimin #jungkook #bts #bangtan #are you sure?!#jikook travel show #ep. 6 #september 2024

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glitchgh0sty · 1 month ago

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Tf Cursed Knights au concept art! [ft: Jazz and Prowl] directed at anybody and everybody!! ⚔️

Guess who finally decided to land on a cohesive Bardic Jazz design?? 👉😎

HEAD-CANNONS THAT DONT EXIST YET:

- Who’s that large beast that keeps following you around? Jazz [trying to keep a secret with the grace of a 2 second old protoform]: What beast?? Prowl: 👁️👄👁️

- Jazz teaching Prowl how to play all his little instruments [maybe makes one especially for Prowl’s large talons]

- Prowl taking Jazz for a midnight flight

I swear, Jazz is the type of little guy that would obliviously carry around every instrument imaginable if he didn’t need to worry about running [away from] places 🫶✨

____________________________________________

My last braincell may be running around on 5 minutes of free time a day. But by the Primes. I am going to make those 5 minutes count. 😤✨

POV all the stuff I want to do: *Glares at this au, glares at the tf mecha pilot au, glares at wip animatics, takes a step back and glares at transformers in general*

[I’ve got so much stuff on the back burner guys,, *wheeze* ✨]

#transformers #tf cursed knights au #tf jazz #tf prowl #with #humanformers #and dragons and cyborgs and goofballs with swords #these little guys #these ones right here TuŤ #transformers au concept #just a little guy and his dragon ù-ú<333 #what is even sleep anyways? 💀🫶

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devilsrecreation · 8 months ago

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Absolutely living for my friendship headcanons I made for the crocodiles and the lizards cuz they’re legit so fun to play around with

-First there’s Makuu’s canon friendship with Hodari the gecko

-Pua’s also taken Hodari under his wing so now the little guy has 2 crocodile mentors, not to mention he tells the former leader everything

-Ucheshi and Hodari are so close they almost share a braincell

-Kenge’s now a sort-of honorary crocodile to Kiburi’s float cuz they’re good friends

Not only is Kenge an ally, but Njano’s proven to be a pretty good friend to Kiburi on several occasions. Hell, @spinnysocks and I agreed that all of Kiburi’s float would be all buddy-buddy with the skinks. Neema and Nyeusi are aroace icons who watch all the shit go down, Nyororo/green skink helps Tamka with his acting by teaching him how to be more…believable ig? (and by teaching him how to fake flirt with someone lol). Nyata would definitely encourage Nduli’s sassiness and helps him come up with witty comebacks

YA’LL I EVEN GOT KENGE TEACHING NDULI HOW TO BE MORE INTIMIDATING AT ONE POINT THAT’S HOW MUCH I LOVE THESE HC’S

I’m even thinking about Tamka and Nduli eventually befriending Hodari. They may have only used him in the past, but imagine them being unlikely friends when the little guy helps them out with something. Just a lil something to think about :)

Also I can’t help but imagine Tamka mentioning how he was being used by the meerkat mafia one time (as I mentioned in an episode idea I had for him) and Hodari goes “Been there, done that” and Tamka’s all “You have? By who????……..Oh yeah, my bad”

#not to mention the crocs are way more respectful than thr hyenas lmao #lizard/croc supremacy #tamka and nduli befriending hodari isn’t something i’d ever considered but i like it????#tlg outlanders #tlg crocodiles #the lion guard

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mechaseraph · 1 year ago

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One guy. Er, I mean two, no, no! Four, four completely different guys, no correlation between them, no sir! Started this around same time as this KID one. It should be same style proportion-wise. As I was messing around for fun/on purpose of finding something that more cartoony? simpler in flow? Anyways, the design/style notes/thoughts under the cut, I did put lots of my exhausted braincells into Kaito/KID difference

Overall style inspos: 1) "I need to think of Sonic but like more human-y" 2) Miho Shimogasa (PPGZ/Kaito Joker/BatuSpi Toppa Bashin) 3) PSWG and SPvsW lol kinda, just from my head how I remembered em though

>Cone and Shin: Originally wasn't planning on putting shadows in his eyes, but without em he's straight up "People with blue eyes" meme. Creepy too much. Neat and sharp a bit. Cone is a pain to size correctly. I think I kinda got it right? But maybe he should had been just tad taller? You never know if he's like 95cm or 1m and something Side note, but Cone's shoes really make me think of Sonic's- >Shin and Kaito: Neat and bit sharp vs more laid back and messy. Also more puffy/round on corners? I basically want him to have puffy sleeves/sleeves that got some volume to em because it fits the magician in my eyes. Adds to hands/arm movement Also Shin's eyes of more your blue/dark blue shades, while Kaito's of blue-ish purple That's to say, I imagine/think Shinichi is the one who hunches more, while Kaito is the one who tends to lean back a bit/keep posture mostly straight (if he ain't sleeping in class lol) >Kaito and KID: Kinda pathetic and messy vs your perfect phantom thief. More shadowy/half-closed eyes vs "oh he's bright awake and ready to go stupid go crazy". Some guy vs the charisma itself. That's to say, shadows cover Kid's visible eye most of the time. And he also has that grin...or his mouth hidden at all. His hair appears bit more fluffier and neater, too. I also tried to keep that juxtaposition with Shinichi of "more sharps vs more round" with him as well. Overall, I like the thought of what if Kaito was more loser in canon, as in less people in school liking him, pitying for his family situation, etc, no entirely of course, because it's simply him, but feel it be more fun in contrast with Kid (and Shinichi) Also, for Kid's cape...just didn't felt like drawing it here, you can excuse me, right?

I think that's all I have to say, but if there's anything ya wanna point out/hear, please ask away!~

#dcmk #detective conan #magic kaito #kaitou kid #kaito kuroba #kudo shinichi #edogawa conan #mecha's shitty doodles #anyway uh if anyone wants to ref those either for style or just to color pick the palette go ahead #also my friend said this style made her think of those old vns from saturn/psx/pc engine of that time and it makes me happy #i'd love to try and mb do some fakescreenshots in that style...if i know how </3 and also what plot to put there #alas i am not good of a writer

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theyoungeragrippina · 1 year ago

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✨ 15 gentlebeard fic recs ✨

i have spent the last month trawling the pages of ao3 for you, dear reader, to find the best ofmd fics. all the works on this list:

are longer-form (generally 40k+)

have no steddyhands (simply not my thing)

are generally, all around brilliant (well-written, had me kicking my feet and giggling, laughing, or crying)

are complete!

part 2 and part 3

A Heart Unsated by roughwinds

48k, explicit

"Stede Bonnet has just moved into Orange Crescent. There’s a house on the corner, opposite Stede’s own, with a garden full of flowers and a gleaming motorbike on the driveway. He’s forgotten to buy sugar.

Edward Teach has his morning disturbed by his new neighbour. Enamoured at first sight, he invites Stede round for a chat, and then another, and then another.

This is the story of them."

man i normally avoid fics with lots of alma and louis in them because its just not for me, but literally every second of the family bonding in this was so wholesome i was forced to change my entire mind.

all you left me was a pearl by @sightofsea

88k, mature

"1717. The Golden Age of Piracy. Stede Bonnet sets about wooing the love of his life through any means necessary.

Things do not go as planned."

every day i wish for a precise memory erasing potion to be invented so i can read this again for the first time. i would devour like 2000k more words of this if it was offered to me. brilliant.

forgive & forget by @fool-for-luv

44k, mature

"It hits him then, like a wave breaking on sand, loud as thunder when it crashes, then trickling away into little rivulets flowing back home, murmuring one word over and over and over. Ed.

The problem is, Stede doesn’t recall ever having met anyone named Ed."

so sweet and wonderful, and i wish there was more.

#gentlebeard is trending! by regional_catastrophe

41k, teen

"In which Stede accidentally convinces the pirating world that Gentlebeard (or Blackbonnet or Stedward; there's a poll) is canon, reunites his crew, and gets his boyfriend back."

hilarious & silly & great, but also the most compelling notes of any fic i've ever read. a proper learning experience.

if music be the food of love (then darling, you're a feast) by @fool-for-luv

107k, unrated

"“Hey, so, those two, right, they get together in the end?” Ed asks.

“I would protest spoiling it, but I think it's rather obvious, isn't it?” Stede says. His nose wrinkles as he smiles. “The tension is certainly there from the beginning. It just takes them a while to get there.”

“Good. Would have been a shit story otherwise.""

i love sassy stede and i love ed who is a grump and i love that they share one single braincell at any given time.

If You Were Mine to Keep by @mysterybees

162k, explicit

"Caught between the gallows and the end of an English sword, Ed accepts the Act of Grace: marry into the aristocracy, leave the English ships alone, and live to sail another day. But who in their right mind would ever agree to marry the mad devil pirate Blackbeard?"

Worth every second of tiredness I felt after pulling an all nighter to finish reading.

It's Only Right by hexuponye

53k, explicit

"A modern AU based on Imagine Me & You, in which Edward is a florist who does the flowers for Stede's wedding."

mary gets to be a little silly sometimes too as a treat.

pliocene by unfortunatelyobsessed

75k, mature

""man, it's just ocean for miles.” Ed motions out to the waves, where there is no sign of any sort of ship, their small dinghy pulled far up on the sand. “I told you when the clouds look like seagulls you take fuckin' cover. Goddamn ocean mutinied me.”"

william golding wishes he did something this brilliant and significant when he wrote Lord of the Flies. the best deserted island story.

quite a career shift by @stedesparasol

157k, explicit

"Stede's been posting book reviews on Youtube for two months now. It's taken him that long to finally get a comment, and the person it comes from is rather unexpected."

rip stede you would've LOVED booktube. furious i can never really watch his content.

Semaphore by komodobits

124k, explicit

"Talking things through as a crew is easier said than done, and honest communication has never really been Stede’s strong suit. When it comes to Ed, he is willing to try."

so good that i was properly and truly laughing and gasping and 'oh no-ing' out loud while i read it.

Such Joie de Vivre by @louciferish

94k, explicit

"Professional thief Edward Teach is tired of hole in the wall apartments, shitty pub food, and skipping town every few months to keep the cops off their tail. He’s well past the age he meant to flee the country and retire, and all he needs is One Last Job to set him up for life. When he hears that some rich bastard outside of town has just the sort of treasure he’d trade his good knee for, Ed sets out in disguise to get the lay of the land."

i (so so foolishly) avoided reading this for a while because i simply didn't think i was one for nanny aus. i was so, terribly wrong. don't make the same mistakes i did. showstopping. incredible stuff.

The Chains of Flowers are Fragile Things by @grandmastattoo

62k, explicit

"Stede can't see the shop he's inherited from his late father as anything other than a burden, another insult added to a life that's going nowhere fast. Then he meets the charismatic man who owns the tattoo studio next door, and Stede finds himself forced to consider the idea of home."

maybe i love tattoo shop owner ed fics, sue me. i love this stede and i love his embarrassing mistake tattoo.

The Love Experiment by karawrites

65k, mature

a married at first sight (aus) au. i didn't know i needed it until i read it.

Water/line by @the-gentleman-mermaid

60k, teen

"During a raid on a smuggler ship, Ed finds a merman named Stede locked in the hold."

So good that I would actually pay the author real person money to do a similar story but where Ed is the mermaid.

Where the Daylight Begins by @xoxoemynn

116k words, explicit

"Modern day AU slow burn featuring a pining Ed, a clueless Stede, found family, roughly a million animals, and a very magical house."

This one sort of gave me House on the Cerulean Sea vibes; it was so much fun and genuinely necessitates a proper use of the word whimsical.

#i will add more as i keep reading!!#pls send me recs too i have brainrot so all the media i consume has to be about pirates rn #hopefully there is at least one thing in here you haven't read before!#thanks for listening #if your fic is on this list know that i love you #our flag means death #ofmd #gentlebeard #gentlebeard fic recs #gentlebeard fanfic #blackbonnet #blackbonnet fic recs #blackbonnet fanfic

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loganelfreeces · 1 month ago

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Shishitoren's Founder: The Silly to Saviour's Serious?

Hey guys, remember when I made that post a while ago about some theories I had about who Umemiya's Saviour is and the kind of person he is and how he'll come back? And how I mentioned he and Shitara know a third person who I have cleverly dubbed the Silly to Saviour's Serious?

We only know three things about this person

They inspired Saviour

They wanted to get stronger by going to Furin

They know Shitara and Saviour due to a Furin connection

So my braincells slammed together and suggested that the Silly to Saviour's Serious guy could in fact be one of Shishitoren's founders or at least one of the main inspirations behind their philosophy. I have no idea if I'm making sense, I'm writing this at 2am and I could be clutching at straws here, but let's roll with it.

Shishitoren's Unclear Origins

Now I bring this up because of the main gangs who have turned up so far, Shishitoren are the only ones with unclear origins.

Umemiya united Furin into Bofurin 2 years ago. KEEL sprung up recently under Endo's funding and then disintegrated. Roppo-Ichiza have been running for a while, protecting the Red Light District and fighting with Furin before Bofurin happened. Gravel sprung up recently out of despiration to provide the impovished people in town with an income. Noroshi are an elite force who left Furin, but have enough connections to muster an army of mooks.

Shishitoren are the only ones we do not know the true origins of. Despite this, we still have a very strong picture of what their philosophy was before Tomiyama and Togame twisted it.

Shishitoren are the Devotees of Power. This means you must persevere, no matter what. You need to push your will through in a fight and never yield to anyone else. You push yourself because strength is the only way you can attain freedom.

The Person Behind The Philosophy

Now, assuming that only one person directly founded Shishitoren and their philosophy, we can then make a few assumptions about this person.

This is a person who has faced immense hardships to get to where they are now, presumably the top of Shishitoren when they created this philosophy.

And given the way Saviour talks about how life won't stop hitting you with tough stuff again and again, I imagine Saviour has had both first hand experience of enduring these difficulties and that Someone Else showed him that there is a way to live through the hardest times.

There's also the fact that strength allows one to become free. While Tomiyama had no idea what this meant, Sakura and Togame do; only those with power are free to be themselves.

Which suggests that Shishitoren's Founder, whoever it was, came from a very restrictive environment that stopped them from being themself.

Then there's the idea of fighting being a means of pushing your will through. I think Shishitoren's Founder understood something that Umemiya taught us near the start of the manga: A fight is a conversation. A fight is a way to push your will through.

Which means that Shishitoren's Founder, if they did come from a restrictive environment, escaped it by becoming strong enough emotionally and physically to push themself through life and let their personality be free.

Potential Connections?

Bringing all these details back to the Silly to Saviour's Serious guy, I think it's very telling that the first main thing we know about this person is that they wanted to get stronger.

Like, on the one hand, of course Silly would be strong if they're on par with Saviour, but that is very much a given in this manga that anyone important to the plot is strong. And most of our other characters who are strong don't get introduced or mentioned with that as their tag line; Suo cracks a joke, Kiryu is chilling with his phone, Umemiya is a airheaded goofball. Why would Nii Satoru focus on Silly's desire to get stronger above anything else?

It's also unclear if Shishitoren, the Devotees of Power, were active when Umemiya was 9. However Saviour does tell us that new teams and gangs sprung up all the time at this stage of Furin's history, so it would make sense if Shishitoren and maybe even Roppo-Ichiza started to find their footing during this period of upheaval.

I think it's also important to note that Hiragi says Tomiyama, who is 17, is the youngest leader in Shishitoren's history who took the top spot some time after Choji's 15th birthday (since he wasn't the leader when he fought Umemiya in his first year). This of course implies that Shishitoren have been around long enough to have multiple leaders and that most of them were not high school aged at this time. Given that Saviour is probably 26 or 27 now, this could mean one of two things:

Shishitoren's Founder is the same age as him, but founded Shishitoren after high school. The latest they could have possibly done this was when they were 24 or 25, but I highly doubt that since they would've been that old when Tomiyama and Umemiya were fighting each other for the first time and Shishitoren seemed to have been better established than the other teams Bofurin had fought before. Though the earliest I would put it at is when Shishitoren's Founder was 20, which again if they're the same age as Saviour, Umemiya and Tomiyama would've been 11. Plenty of time for Shishitoren to get established.

Shishitoren's Founder is older than Saviour and founded Shishitoren after high school. If they are the Silly to Saviour's Serious, then this means they could have played more of a mentor role like the one we see with Hiragi and Kaji, rather than a peer to peer relationship I had initially imagined. Though this makes a lot more sense for how Saviour handled Umemiya's suicidal idealiation if Silly helped Saviour in a mentor role rather than a friendship role. It could also suggest that Silly wasn't loyal to Furin, and potentially neither was Saviour; they just went there to get stronger.

Where is Shishitoren's Founder Now?

Obviously at some point Shishitoren's Founder/Silly to Saviour's Serious and Umemiya's Saviour left Makochi and their respective teams. So where are they now?

Shishitoren's Founder could have left Makochi in search of stronger opponants, or to enjoy that freedom they fought so hard to gain in the first place. I don't think they're still in Makochi since they would have stepped in if they found out that Shishitoren had rotted from the inside out. OR maybe they are still in Makochi but they either no longer care about Shishitoren itself or they don't care about being strong anymore. Either one is possible, though I think them not being in Makochi is much more likely.

I think they may end up returning if Shishitoren have another trouble arc. Not one where Tomiyama or Togame have fallen on the wrong path again, but if Shishitoren are at risk of being destroyed or overwhelmed. After all, changing Shishitoren from the inside after letting it get so bad couldn't have been easy for Tomiyama and Togame. It's possible some former Shishitoren guys saw the return to the old ways as a bad thing and formed their own team to retaliate. We know from flashbacks that Shishitoren often had trouble with a group called Zinc when Tomiyama and Togame were still new to the team, so it's possible Zinc could turn out to be a problem later on if the disgrunted Shishitoren members joined them.

Shishitoren's Founder might just happen to be coming back to Makochi when the fight is about to go down, OR Shishitoren's Founder is the one leading the charge against the current Shishitoren with their own new gang. If that's the case, then this could be Sakura and the other Furin guys' chance to return the help that Shishitoren gave them in the Noroshi arc.

OR if my theories are correct and Shishitoren's Founder is the person that Shitara and Saviour were talking about, I think he and Saviour will show up closer to Umemiya's graduation. That is scheduled to happen in March and we're only in July right now timeline wise, so we have a long way to go before we get there.

If all 3 of them become more relevant during the lead up to Umemiya's graduation, then this means the three could offer different paths for Umemiya to take:

Shitara's Path: Stay in Makochi and care for the local kids as either an orphanage worker or a Furin teacher.

Saviour's Path: Recognise when other people are better equipped at a job and leave them to it.

Founder's Path: Live free of responsibilities and leave Makochi to get stronger from here on out.

Also I bet y'all money that Shishitoren's Founder has birds or lions somewhere in their name. It'd make sense since (at least in the Western world I'm not so sure about Japan) birds are a symbol of freedom. Or maybe Shishitoren's Founder actually has a different kanji for dog in their name, since Sakura called their emblam an ugly dog the first time he saw it.

Who knows, maybe Shishitoren's Founder is related to Inugami.

So yeah that is my 2am frantic thoughts about Shishitoren's past. I'm so looking forward to discovering more about the worldbuilding and what happend to make the town the way it is now.

#Windbreaker #Meta/Theory #Jo Togame #Choji Tomiyama #Hajime Umemiya #Haruka Sakura

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wild-lullium · 7 months ago

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So I stumbled on a tiktok about a person taking some pieces from another person Lego set. It was a train i think? And then hiding it, and in the next seen the dude is questioning life or whatever.

Anyway this reminded me of a conversation i had with my Dad. We were talking about harmless but kinda evil things that we could do.

He mentioned taking one puzzle peice out of a puzzle and then returning it to the store.

Lame am I right? Too small of a impact.

I, of course, one upped him with ease....

Now I want you to use all your braincells to imagine this ok?

The scene would go like this:

1. You buy multiple different Lego sets (Make sure you keep those receipts in a safe place)

2. Open all of them, keep them in separate piles (Feel free to chuckle to yourself, take inspiration from your favorite villains)

3. Pick a random number, I personally was partial to 9 (This is a very important number, pick the one that speaks to you)

4. Randomly choose (insert # here) of Lego Pieces (choose different sizes, actually NO forget that. Look at the directions, pick the Legos that you believe will fuck with someone's psyche the most.)

5. NOW SWITCH THOSE LEGOS!!

6. Neatly put them back in the boxes(Give yourself a pat on the back, you did an awesome jobe)

7. Return everything. (Take yourself out to dinner, you've worked hard.)

8. Take pride in the chaos and evil you gifted the world.

**********DISCLAIMER! I 100% DON'T ENCOURAGE ANYONE TO DO THIS! THIS IS JUST A MADE UP SCENARIO!**************

My dad said he was torn between being horrified and extremely proud.

#lego sets #legos #random #mostly harmless #harmless fun #chaos

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le-sluagh · 9 months ago

Text

#3 Incorrect Batman: Vigilante (My AU)

Harley Quinn: What time is it?

Joker: I don't know; pass me that kazoo and we'll find out

Joker: *Plays kazoo extremely loud*

Two Face: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING KAZOO AT TWO IN THE MORNING

Joker: It's 2 am

*****

Two Face: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?

Poison Ivy: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Two Face: That wasn't an ambulance, Harley Drove you.

Poison Ivy: But I heard a siren.

Joker: That was Harley.

Harley Quinn: Sorry, I got nervous.

*****

Riddler: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell.

Two Face, Joker, Harley Quinn, and Poison Ivy, sarcastically: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!

*****

Two Face: Never going to a meeting of the Legion of Doom again. Riddler started his argument with "Riddle me this".

*****

Robin: *running towards Batman with open arms*

Batman: *moves out of the way*

Robin: Hey, why'd you move?!

Batman: I thought you were going to attack me.

Robin: I was going to hug you!

Batman: Why would you hug me?

Robin: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU!?

*****

*Comments under an image of a really hot knife cutting bread*

Joker: Imagine stabbing someone with this knife.

Poison Ivy: It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn't bleed, so it's not very useful.

Two Face: if you want information it is

Harley Quinn: why would you STAB a person when you can have TOAST?

*****

Zoom: Your internet connection is unstable.

Two Face: You should see my life.

*****

*at a zoo*

Joker: What are they in for?

Lex Luthor: Joker, this isn't prison.

Joker: So they can leave?

Lex Luthor: No, but-

Joker, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.

*****

Two Face: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT!

Riddler: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone.

Harvey Dent: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch?

Riddler: Somehow that's worse.

*****

Mr. Freeze: Well you see, the explanation is perfectly simple and scientific. It was because shut up. Shut up is why.

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letgomaggie · 8 months ago

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All my bridgerton thoughts, compressed:

1. The true love story is definitely Penelope and Eloise. No matter how hard they try, they cannot pivot away from the fact that friendship is the heart of this season. Be it between Penelope and Eloise, or Eloise and Cressida, or Penelope and Colin: it is that which drives this particular season.

2. To add to the above point: Colin may be Penelope's love interest, but it is Eloise who understands her. Eloise asks if Penelope seems despondent or sad - not just a simple is she okay but instead here are things she could be, which one is it? She knows her friend, no matter what. And Colin, for all that he is, does not find it all too startling that Penelope is suddenly looking for marriage. Eloise does. If Colin's eyes follow Pen across the ballroom, so do Eloise's.

3. Eloise has someone to talk to about the effect her friendship breakup is taking on her. Penelope has no one. I find Nicola to be an increasingly fantastic actor because she holds this tension so very well throughout the whole of Part 1. When Eloise comes to visit her, you see why she asked Colin what Penelope was feeling. Because Penelope is feeling that, has been feeling that ever since. Its so raw and on her face for the world to see but only one person ever looked and understood and read her like a book.

4. The two fingers while fixing her dress? Gag me god gag me

5. I have not seen the point of the Mondrich plot until this season which is where they are really using it to root the show to reality. There are conversations to be had that the society simply does not want to and Mondriches are the embodiment of it. Constantly knocking at society's door and making themselves be heard and fighting for a seat at the table but unwilling to compromise on what feels good and right. It's subtle and ita frustrating and I like that it's getting to people. You're going to get annoyed enough that the looking glass metaphor will play out in real life for you.

6. I see how unhinged Colin is being about Penelope and while I love that for her, I also get how fucked up her situation is rn. She does need stability. She has found her purpose. And I want her to be selfish in protecting that bit of herself. Instead of what she has been doing. She tried with Debling and yes, it was vexing to see how she ran after him but. I get it too? It's not always roses and camomiles. Cressida is the foil to this same narrative. The Bridgertons are foolishly romantic but that is just them. The show is through their lens but we can take a step back and see it for it is as well. I found Debling to be perfect and his reasons for ending everything were as well. If a little crassly done. Colin proposing to Penelope and falling headfirst in love just as she starts looking out for herself? My heart still needs to be sold on this idea, no matter how hot and sexy everything is.

7. The hair grab oh. Colin Bridgerton you slut. You whore. Colin Bridgerton would like to be pegged I promise. These two will actually be the couple who try out shit in the bedroom out of intrigue and discover a hidden kink. Colin finding the answer to his pent up ruminations when Penelope drags her hand tenderly through his hair vs Penelope close to tears because it is a dream come true and how many times has she imagined this and now its happening and its all that and more? Fucking yes

8. The diaries intrigue me. I shit you not I started this season with the firm belief that Colin had in fact NOT travelled lasts season because he was being all quiet about it. End of Ep 1 and I am now convinced he only really wants to talk if people listen and the only one who ever listened was Pen and if she's not there to hear him what is the point of speaking? He functions on 0 braincells because like. He has all the facts he's just not looking at them.

9. Someone talked of how they want to know more about Colin because he's been coming off as 2D and I agree. This is being told more from Penelope's view than Colin's and that is skewing the narrative a bit. I need more than 'pirate fashion-current rake-newly minted fuckboy' from him.

10. I like the yellow bedsheet.

11. The opening with the pining looks from Pen towards Eloise really set the mood and I'm so glad for it. For that matter I feel like Colin's apology for the comment last season was rushed and half hearted and I understand the hot and heavy vibes but they are friends first and that is the heart of the season and so much, so fucking much is left unresolved and I need them to have a couple of heated conversations PLEASE. express emotions fr!!! Beyond breathing hard!!

#bridgerton #bridgerton season 3 #bridgerton spoilers #bridgerton season 3 spoilers #polin #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #ya these are straight up unfiltered y'all i may have more thoughts coming soon

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