#all jokes aside it's actually pretty entertaining

[shamelesstragedyenjoyer]

Chat i'm currently watching Titans and its such a "he's right behind me isn't he" ass show 😭😭 who tf approved of that

[pomefioredove]

So idk if I'm requesting in the right place. But I would love a twst scenario with a yuu that just says all their intrusive thoughts. Like just out of NOWHERE, as they reach for a water bottle hanging out with the first years they go.

“I robbed a house back home”

Or when Azul tries cornering them with the twins for something they just blankly turn to Floyd going.

“duck off you look like you can't steer a shopping cart”

But feel free to do it with whoever you want and if you don't want to do mine that's perfectly fine and I hope you have a great day :)

certainly!!

summary: reader who speaks all their impulsive thoughts type of post: headcanons characters: heartslabyul, octavinelle, scarabia, diasomnia additional info: platonic or romantic, reader isn't specified to be yuu, reader is gender neutral author's note: for some reason I had the hardest time thinking up new nonsense, so many of these dialogue lines are from lewis carroll poems, which I have a wonderful nostalgia for. check those out as well!

Ace and Deuce are pretty much used to you saying whatever's at the top of your mind... with no filter

so used to it that it barely even registers with them anymore

whenever it's quiet, they can expect you to come out with some incomprehensible nonsense.

if you didn't, they'd probably ask what's wrong

"I robbed a house back home,"

"Yeah, okay,"

Riddle, on the other hand, gets frustrated alarmingly fast

despite running an entire dorm based on nonsensical rules, he has a low tolerance for outside nonsense

and... well, despite his name, he's not really a fan of riddles

Trey matches your energy immediately

no joke. he doesn't even bat an eye

"I eat plastic,"

"hm. sometimes I eat muffin wrappers,"

honestly, sometimes his tangents get even weirder than yours

Cater probably wasn't listening very closely when you first started going off, or maybe he's just become accustomed to riddles, though the next time you say something he just thinks it's cute

might use your "thoughtful anecdotes" as a caption for his next post

would it be surprising if I were to say Azul is used to randomness?

Floyd has a tendency to say the strangest things out of nowhere, after all, and the sea itself can be a surprising place

he does not, however, appreciate how you keep speaking in tongues when he's trying to have serious business conversations with you

(seriously, how hard can it be to swindle one person?!)

"Please, just talk normally,"

"But the mome raths outgrabe!"

he doesn't know what that means, but it sounds like an insult

...and then will refuse to converse with you again until you're in a "better mood" (in his own words)

Jade, on the other hand, finds you quite fascinating

he keeps a little notepad on him just to jot down the things you say. why? you can't imagine. he just finds it interesting, you suppose

"'Twas brilling..."

"Really? How interesting. Go on,"

Floyd isn't really paying much attention

your funny words amuse him at best and annoy him at worse

if you ever find yourself in a bad place with the octotrio, you can just say something like:

"You look like you can't steer a shopping cart,"

and Floyd will take actual offense to that, and just straight up leave

(much to Azul's dismay)

Kalim adds on right away

and keeps going

and keeps going... and keeps going...

"How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail..."

"Oh, I know! He pours waters on every shining scale,"

at one point Jamil has to pull you aside and beg you not to encourage him

"No promises!" is your answer

Kalim even buys a parrot to add onto the fun

it becomes a three-person (or two-person-and-a-bird?) act

...even if you're not really doing it on purpose

Jamil is who ends up taking care of the parrot while it squawks your old nonsense thoughts, though

he likes the parrot much better than either of you

Malleus will entertain you based on his own curiosity

none of his other human classmates speak in such odd and puzzling words, so he knows it's a "you" thing

might try to solve them if they sound like riddles

but he mostly just thinks they're cute

"O, oysters, come and walk with us,"

"How interesting... I do wonder where you come up with all this,"

Sebek will listen to you because Malleus does, and Silver has enough nonsense to deal with as it is. will definitely fall asleep while you're talking to him

Lilia responds in like terms

meow at him? he'll meow back

in fact, he'll meow at you every time he sees you until you say something else to capture his curiosity

might go ahead and start speaking to you in tongues before you even say anything

he just thinks you're neat!

[hannieehaee]

idol hani fic plspslspsslspslspsls

content: idol!jeonghan, mentions of enlistment, established relationship, fluff, banter, etc.

wc: 635

a/n: im not sure what inspired me writing about cutting his hair but here we are

masterlist

"do you really have to cut it?", you pouted as jeonghan stood in front of you with scissors in his hands.

as per usual, there was a pleased smile on his face. it didn't matter to him to have to cut his hair, he knew it'd grow back. he just found some sick sort of entertainment in knowing you'd pout and whine about the loss of his hair.

it's not like he had to shave it off like most other people in the military did. all he needed was to get rid of the length, seeing as he had chosen public service rather than actually stationing himself outside of home. the upside was that he'd be able to come home to you every night and that you'd even get to keep him on the weekends. the downside was that his beautiful long hair would not make a comeback until the two year countdown reached zero.

okay, maybe the upsides heavily outweighed the downsides, but you felt like your dramatics regarding his hair were more than fair. especially considering that the demon was forcing you to cut his hair in favor of going to an actual hairstylist.

call it some sick sort of torture.

"it's just a trim, babe. it'll grow back. in two years, but y'know, same thing."

he was far too pleased by your huff in response.

"you suck, yoon jeonghan. i hope you finally learn the torturous life of office workers. karma will come for you one day or another," you scowled at him before gesturing for him to take a seat.

regardless of hair, he'd look handsome as always. this was your one consolation.

"c'mon, babe. you should be happy. you get to have me all to yourself for two years. carats will also suffer the loss of my hair but at least you get me as a consolation prize," he argued as he put on a cover to ensure he didn't get any hair on his clothes.

"yeah, yeah, whatever. they can keep you," you joked back, earning a chuckle from him.

your hands began unknowingly massaging his hair as you searched for where to start. you'd never really cut hair professionally before, and messing with an idol's hair just sounded like blasphemy to you. however, it was also nice to provide jeonghan with such a domestic favor.

it seemed enjoyable for him too. or at least that's the impression his purring gave you every time your hands ran through his hair.

"hmm, wait no, keep going," he grumbled when your hands went to leave his head in order to grab onto the scissors he'd set on the table before sitting.

"i thought you wanted me to cut your hair."

still, you went back to playing with his hair, running your fingers through the long strands that had him sighing at every touch. his eyes closed and his head leaned into your touch, silently encouraging you to continue.

"i was kidding! of course you can't cut my hair. i'm an idol, my hair's worth millions."

pushing the exaggeration aside, you wacked at the side of his head lightly in punishment, earning yourself a high-pitched 'yah!' before halting your movements altogether. this only made him complain even more.

"c'mon, i'll play with your hair if you come to bed," you pulled at his hand, dragging his lethargic body towards your bedroom so you could enjoy the last few moments you had with his hair.

he haphazardly took off the cover and followed along, mumbling one thing or another in complaint at your treatment of him, claiming you held no appreciation for him or that he was more than a pretty doll to drag around. you huffed with a laugh, getting a similar one from him as you finally got him into bed.

[nativegirltapes]

trailerpark!mom!reader was just trying to go out to her favorite local bar when she met drew ........

warnings: i don’t think obx is actually filmed in outer banks but for this fic yes it is. this is basically just lots of dialogue but i’m just trying to fill in tp!mom!reader and drew’s lore. drew being tipsy + corniness & cliches

"we are getting fucked up tonight." your bestfriend shouted. it was thursday, which meant it was 'going out' night. your baby was safe with your sister, and you were in the passenger seat of your bestfriend's 2009 honda civic adjusting final touches to your makeup in the vanity mirror. "i fucking hope so. jason has been blowing up my phone all week, threatening to come steal baby." you applied another layer of lipgloss.

"are you fucking serious?" aubrey questioned, looking at you with loving eyes. even though you brought the topic up so casually, she knew it hurt you. "i love you." she branched her arms out over the car console, you accepted her embrace. "now let's get fucked up!" she gave you a kiss on your head. no one had ever made you feel as loved as she did.

ᡣ𐭩˙⋆.˚

"sorry ladies," your usual bouncer stopped you and aubrey, "bars closed tonight. some cast rented it out."

"what?" you realized he wasn't joking. "what cast?" you furrowed your brows, wondering who the fuck would rent out a bar in the middle of nowhere, north carolina. "don't know, some show that's filmed here though."

"you can't just let us in?" you bestfriend proposed. "we know we're you're favorite. cmonnnn." the bouncer giggled, you guys definitely were his favorite, but unfortunately he wouldn't budge. "i wish there was something i could do. sorry girls."

"it's okay." you sighed, grabbing aubrey by her arm and dragging her to the side. she was one to cause a scene and you weren't in the mood to deal with that right now. "this is bullshit." she groaned. "i bet they're rich. rich people always ruining some shit for normal people like us." she circled around you. "can't even enjoy our thursday night anymore."

"it's okay, we can go somewhere else."

"you wanna get in?" an unfamiliar voice interrupted, before you could yank aubrey back to the car. both of you jolting your heads towards the voice. it was a tall pale man, a lit cigarette hung from his lips.

"yeah, can you get us in?" aubrey took no time taking up the offer, interrupting the prolonged eye contact you were sharing with this guy; he was cute and that was hard to find around here. "this way." he tossed his unfinished cigarette in the floor and stomped on it.

"thank you." you said as he held the door for you. as soon as you entered the bar you realized that maybe you really didn't belong there. thursday's usually had a solid crowd, and a familiar one at that. but there wasn't one familiar face aside from yours or your bestfriend's. "shit." you mumbled under your breath, the guy who let you in now long gone, entertaining a group of who you assumed were his friends.

finding a seat at the bar with aubrey, you asked the bartender what the deal was, "so, what's going on?" he poured you your usual. "some netflix cast rented out the bar for the night. outer banks or something?"

“oh, i’ve heard that show.” you replied, trying your best to discreetly look around, seeing if you seen any famous faces from tv, although you didn’t watch much tv. “i didn’t think they actually filmed that here?”

“me neither,” the bartender agreed, before leaving you and aubrey to tend to another person.

you watched as people danced, they all seemed well bonded, almost like family. you giggled at them, hoping one day you’d find a bond like that. you spotted the guy who had let you in, he danced pretty okay for a white guy. “should we dance?” you turned back to aubrey, practically shouting over the loud music.

“why are you even asking?” aubrey laughed, you knew her better than to ask if she wanted to dance, she was always down to dance.

you both danced together as ‘yeah!’ by usher played over the speakers, before you both had roaming hands all over you. you felt big hands wrap around lower stomach, “was hoping i’d come across you again.” a somewhat familiar voice whispered in your ear. you kept your back and ass to him, but turned your head to see his face, selfishly hoping it was the man who’d let you in, relief washed over you when you realized it was. “i was thinking the same thing.” you flirted.

“oh yeah?” he whispered in your ear again. the way he had lean down to reach your ear had your stomach doing flips. “why’s that?” you noticed his breath smelled of liquor and mint.

“i wanted to thank you again.” you answered, pushing your ass even closer to his crotch. flirting with men at the bar definitely was not foreign to you. “you don’t have to thank me. anyone would have let a pretty girl like you in.” he spun you around so you were facing him. “there’s that face.” he smiled, his bloodshot and droopy eyes staring down at you like you were the only girl to ever exist. this felt too intimate for your liking.

“so, why’re you here?” you grabbed his hands from your waist, just holding them with your own, you both still feeling the rhythm of the music playing. “you’re famous or something?”

“something like that i guess.” he shrugged, like he didn’t really want to talk about it. “why are you here?”

“i live here.” you said confused, wondering if he has expected a different answer. “i don’t want to sound like a creep, but you’re like, insanely beautiful.” his lips grazed your ear as he whispered to you. you weren’t sure if it was the alcohol talking or if he actually meant it, but nonetheless you were flattered. a sexy— famous guy saying you were insanely beautiful?

“thank you.” you blushed, pulling your jean skirt down. usually you were good at playing a man’s game but this time felt different. this time felt like something could actually come from this and you hated it.

after some more ramble jamble on the dance floor, the mysterious man asked if you wanted to go outside. “wanna step outside for a minute with me?” he extended his hand, you accepted.

you watched as he lit a cigarette. it seemed like every ounce of outgoingness left your body, you loved talking to and entertaining men, but he just made you flat out nervous. “so you’re from around here?” he offered you a swig of his cig, you declined.

“yeah, just down the street. me and my bestfriend come here every thursday.” you watched his lips as he took a swig, the way his eyebrows furrowed from the smoke was hot. you hated people who smoked but there you were getting turned on over it.

“sorry about that again. i seen the whole fiasco with the bouncer.” he looked down at you. “i mean it’s not your fault.” you reassured him.

“sorry i never asked. what’s your name?” his voice seemed so much deeper and clear now that you two were outside, almost like he was fully sober. it made you question how drunk he actually was, and how much of what you told you he actually meant. “y/n!”

“i’m drew.” he held his hand out, you shook it. his hands was so much bigger than yours. matter of fact, everything about him was so much bigger than you.

before you could question drew and his ‘famousness’ any further you heard his group yelling his name. they were all getting into a limo. how famous were these people? they needed a limo? but you couldn’t recognize literally any of their faces? “i guess that’s me.” drew again, flicked his unfinished cigarette on the ground and stomped it out. “what’s your number y/n?” he pulled out his phone and pulled up the keypad.

you swiftly put in your number and called yourself. you never gave your phone number away to the men you entertained, it was your own personal rule you set for yourself. but something about this one was different and you just couldn’t say no. “i’ll see you around y/n.”

[fairyofsilence]

BEHIND HIS LENSE | 2/7 | TTIB SERIES | PREVIEW

Pairing: Photographer!Taehyung x PersonalAssistant!Reader

Warnings: +18, Yandere, manipulation, drugging, EXPLICIT NONCON; cunnilingus, rough sex, victim blaming, slut shaming, blackmailing, abuse of power, coercion.

Summary: After 4 long years of working for the extravagant photographer Vante, you decide to step down from your job after catching feelings for your boss, which you're sure he will never return.

But he's determined to show you that there's only one person he will consider his muse, and it's you.

I don't agree nor condone any of the actions made by any of the characters throughout the story, I also do not belive that any of the members of BTS would act this way or have this type of behaviour, this story it's fiction and it's written with the sole purpose of entertainment, please proceed with caution.

Word count: 0.8 k.

Just a quick preview of what's coming :)

In three days from now, you’ll be quitting the only job you’ve ever had.

You know you’re extremely lucky to have landed such a sought-after job with absolutely no experience at all, especially when you consider who you’re working for, but you had truly underestimated just how demanding this job was, the number of errands you do in a day will send a normal person into a coma. At first, things started to pile up pretty quickly, and eventually, you learned how to keep on top of things, becoming one of the best at what you do, but recently, there’s something that no matter how hard you tried to push it aside, you can’t seem to shake it off, and if the job was hard before that, this just had officially made it unbearable.

You’re falling in love with your boss.

At first it was nothing but a simple, innocent crush, to be fair, how can anyone blame you? Taehyung is an attractive man, and his charm rapidly made your 20-year-old-self infuriated, although that crush faded quite quickly (thanks to Taehyung’s insufferable attitude the first couple of months), these past couple of months have been messing with your head, quite frankly, you think you’re going insane with the amount of overthinking you’ve been doing, but there’s things you can’t make up, especially since other people have been noticing too.

It all started with a simple comment, your best friend had planted the seed into your brain.

“Wow, since when did you get a raise?” Sohee’s eyes nearly pop out of their sockets while she makes grabby hands at your new bag, you hand it out to her, and she touches it like it’s made of glass “How in the hell did you afford a brand-new Flamenco bag? I thought you said you were saving up for a new apartment!” Her tone is so high that you needed a second to digest what she just said, which leaves you more confused than you already are.

“What are you even talking about? If you think I bought this bag than I’ll have to reconsider all these years of friendship” You tried to joke around but Sohee doesn’t seem to be taking this lightly.

“How the hell did you get a 4-thousand-dollars bag then? You didn’t tell me you had a sugar daddy!” You almost faint when hearing the actual price of your new bag, but before she can say anything even more stupid, you quickly try to cover her mouth, but she swats your hand easily.

“Can you stop? I didn’t know it was this expensive!” She raises one of her brows at you and you feel the need to explain yourself “I don’t have a sugar daddy dumbass; Taehyung gave it to me the other day after a photoshoot” Sohee’s mouth opens so wide you have to restrain yourself to not laugh and cause an even bigger scene at the company’s cafeteria.

“Are you kidding me? Are you fucking him or something?” You gave Sohee a nasty look that she couldn’t care less about “I think the nicest thing Namjoon has ever done for me is saying ‘Please’ or ‘Thank you’, and he doesn’t even do that often, how the hell did you get your boss to give you a damn designer bag?” Her fixation over a bag is starting to get in your nerves, so you try to explain the situation to her.

“It was during a photoshoot like three days ago, he shot the new Loewe campaign and during a break I said that the color of this bag is very pretty, he asked if I liked the bag and I said yes because it was the biggest one where I could definitely fit everything I needed on it, he just nodded and by the end of the shoot he came to me with the bag on his hand telling me it was for me, I asked him why would he gave it to me and he just said ‘It matches your blouse’, kind of dumb if you ask me” Sohee was truly in a state of shock by the end of you explanation, and you didn’t know what to even say to her about that.

She’s speechless for a few seconds before she looks at you with an accusing stare.

“Wait a second, didn’t you tell me once that he made you send the girls he fucks a designer bag when he’s trying to fuck them?” Her eyebrows are almost reaching her hairline, and you don’t even know how to defend yourself because that was true.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean anything-” Sohee shuts you up with a single look, and you are forced to face the reality.

“Y/N, wake up, that man wants something from you, and it’s not anything casual if he’s giving you these types of gifts, we’ll let it slide this time” You scoff at her ‘we’ but she ignores you, “But if this keeps happening, you have two options, tell him to back off, or” Her tone was starting to piss you off, and you didn’t know if it was because she was being truly annoying, or because deep down you knew that she was right, “you can get more out of him, not just a designer bag”.

[baby-tini]

Yandere ADA!Dazai alphabet plase? You don't have too do them all, just D, A, Z and I

TW- Physical Abuse, Psychological Abuse, Stockholm Syndrome, Manipulation, Controlling Behavior, Victim Blaming, Threat With A Gun, Love-Bombing, Talk Of Murder, Isolation, Implied Murder, Implied Torture

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get? Dazai is very intense when it comes to affection, he's very clingy and you are very rarely away from him, but even when you aren't with him, he'll call and text you a lot, constantly checking up on you and he would even bug your phone with a tracking device or at the very least, he'll hack it too find you. But he does really well with playing it off as if he's being playful or that he's just concerned for you, afterall, he's a detective, he knows the uglies of the world.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling? He's willing too get messy, very messy and he's more then willing too kill for you. But what he's willing too do and what he can do is very different, especially while he's in the agency. He won't kill if he can't get away with it. But also, he doesn't need too kill, especially with his level of intelligence, if there's someone that he doesn't like that's flirting with you, he'll just frame them for a crime. Because who's the police gonna believe? A detective in the ADA, someone who's helped them with cases before, or a suspected criminal who all the evidence points back to?

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them? ADA!Dazai wouldn't abduct you, simply because he can't. Mainly because of his job, especially if you also work for the agency and you go missing, the agency are going too look for you and Dazai knows this. So, he would mostly stick to isolation and not letting you go out too much, or, he'll make up excuses as too why you can't go somewhere or hang-out with someone, which will then cause you too lose all of your family and friends. I do think he would mock you, but only when you're pissing him off, he'll talk about how you have no friends, no family and he'll even threaten too leave you, when you go against him, because then you'll have absolutely nothing and he knows that.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will? He would. Absolutely he would, because what you want doesn't really matter to him. Now, I don't think ADA!Dazai would go as far as too noncon you, but I do think he would give you forced affection. Whether you want too be touched in an affectionate way or not, doesn't matter to him, if he's in the mood too just lay and cuddle with you, you're going too lay and cuddle. So, basically, you have no say in pretty much anything, ever. If he wants something, he's going too have it, it doesn't matter if he has too force it.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling? Not much honestly, even if he is obsessed with you, he still keeps his secrets. He doesn't want you too ever feel comfortable enough too make you think that you can exploit him in anyway. Now, sure, he'll have his vulnerable moments, he is still human after all, but he's really good at playing it off as if it was a joke and he wasn't very serious.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back? He'd be quite amused actually, he'd find your whole show quite the entertainment. But also in perfect Dazai fashion, he'd make you feel like you're doing too much, as if you're getting so worked up for no reason. If you ever did get so angry to the point where you attempt too get physical with him though, he wouldn't be so amused.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape? Yes and no. Yes simply because that's who he is, he likes too play mind games with literally everyone and he takes an immense amount of pleasure in fucking with peoples head. But also no because he does have a genuine interest in you, whatever that may be and he doesn't want you too think that he doesn't care for you at all. As for escaping, there's no real escaping simply because he's not holding you hostage but he does hate when he doesn't know where you are, so no, he doesn't.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them? The worst experience you ever had with Dazai is when you tried too break up with him. It was when the two of you had a really bad argument, and again, he was trying too minimize the situation and that pissed you off even more and the words just came out. That's when you saw his eyes just go dark and become empty as he stepped towards you, the air noticeably becoming thicker as he stared you down. You found out just why Dazai was a torture specialist in the mafia that night.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling? Dazai just wants too be happy and not constantly worry about you leaving or getting hurt, his ideal future would just be you being with him. He wants a happy life, he doesn't want too constantly dwell on the negatives of his life; if it's with you, he doesn't mind what kind of future.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope? Jealousy isn't really a big thing for Dazai, he's a very confident person. Now, playfully he'll act jealous and become all clingy if your attention is directed at someone else. But, if he were too become genuinely jealous, well then... things would get very ugly as he stares the person down, his eyes lacking all emotion as he pulls you away with him. If he's angry enough though, you might just see a news story about them, reporting his mysterious death.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling? He's very loving with you, very touchy and sweet overall. You guys look ideal out in public, it's just behind closed doors when things can get a little ugly. He does have a reputation out in public so he makes sure too keep himself in check when there are people around, but when you get home, he does a complete 180, especially if you were, in his words, misbehaving in public. But, besides that, he's a pretty good boyfriend.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling? Love-bombing. He's very affectionate, very quickly, never leaving you alone, at all. He's constantly showering you in compliments and giving you gifts, telling you about how you're the first woman he's ever felt this way about, which is true, but he said that the first week of being with you. How the love of his life and he quickly engulfs your life and he gets you too move in with him very soon after being with him, everything happens so fast that it's overwhelming for you, but again, he makes everything feel like it's natural and that's he's just so in love with you that you don't really question him.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else? Yes, they are extremely different. Dazai is very two-faced and puts up a lot of facades. When you met him, he was so sweet and loving and intelligent.. but then his true colors came to the surface and things turned ugly. He started too become controlling and very psychologically abusive. But, that's just how he is in general, he's a manipulator and a very good one at that.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling? You're already in a constant punishment with how much he keeps you isolated, but, he doesn't punish you very often, surprisingly. Simply because anytime you're pissy with him, he won't take you very seriously and he'd much rather cuddle with you then dish out punishments, he's lazy. But when he does, they're very calculated and impactful, he's more focused on breaking you down mentally then actually putting his hands on you, but he'll still spank your ass or give your hair a nice harsh little tug when he needs too.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling? A lot, if not all of them. He becomes quite the controlling boyfriend, he's always asking you where you are and who you're with. He checks your phone constantly, you have no privacy whatsoever, he is in control of your whole life. He tells you what you can and can't where, he talks for you, he orders food for you, he'll bathe you. You will have sense of independence in this relationship, he doesn't even let toy think for yourself, anytime you have an idea he'll shut you down and tell you what he thinks you should do instead.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling? Dazai is a very patient person and it takes a lot for him too actually get to the point of being genuinely pissed off. He can tell when you're purposely trying too piss him off, he knows what you're doing. Sometimes he'll playfully feed into it and pretend too be upset, but again, he can tell what you're doing so he won't feed into all the time.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on? First off, there is no leaving or escaping him, there's no where that you could go and him not find you. He is quite literally a detective, his whole job is finding people, you are no different, he will find you. If you do die though, it would break him quite a bit and he'd drink even more then he already does. It would actually frequent his suicide attempts and they wouldn't be like something like, jumping in the river, no, he'd desperately want too die and be with you.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go? Again, he wouldn't abduct you, he can't. Now, if he over did it with his little mind games and you were genuinely mentally exhausted, he may feel guilt and comfort you. But, usually he doesn't feel guilt because he sees it as something that needs too be done. Letting you go though? No. He would not, he doesn't care about how much you beg and plead for him too let you just be by yourself, and let you go out. Because it's not gonna happen.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)? Loss really. Dazai has lost a lot of people in his life and he's tired of it. So if he has too become a little controlling too keep you safe, so be it. He only wants too keep you safe and he doesn't care what he has too do in order for that too happen. You'll understand one day that he's doing all of this for you.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves? It depends on the reason why you're doing all that, because you'll get a couple different reactions from Dazai. If you're crying because of a punishment, he'll just shrug you off, and tell you that's what you get for misbehaving. If you're screaming because you're frustrated with him because he never listens to you or lets you do things for yourself, he will minimize the problem and make you feel like you're acting over-dramatic. Isolating yourself though, that will not work, if you for example, lock yourself in a room, that's not gonna do anything for you, because he can pick locks and he's quite skilled at it.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere? Sort of, since we're talking about ADA!Dazai, he won't kidnap you. Mainly because he can't, because of his job, especially if you also work for the agency and you go missing, the agency are going too look for you and Dazai knows this. So, he would mostly stick to isolation and not letting you go out too much or he'll make up excuses as too why you can't go somewhere or hang-out with someone.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape? None really. I would say physically, but even then, Dazai can fight, he was in the mafia. No his martial arts aren't as good as that of someone like Chuuyas, but he can still take care of himself in a physical fight. Also, baby he has a gun, and he's shown time and time again that not only does he know how too use said gun but also that he's not afraid too use it. Mentally though, there's no winning there obviously. He is far too intelligent too be thrown off by some meaningless little comment.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling? Yes, he would. I do think he would mainly be psychologically abusive instead of physically abusive. Now I say mainly because, I do think he would still hit you, but Dazais whole thing is mind games, plus people can't see psychological scars like they can with physical scars. Also psychological trauma lasts longer then physical trauma, because scars and bruises will heal. Being psychologically broken down will be much harder too bounce back from, and Dazai understands that.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over? Too win you over, he's pulling out all of the stops, cranking up his charm by tenfold. He'll take you to all these cute places and get you little gifts too charm you. Worshipping you though? If Dazai is in deep enough, he'd see you as like a landline of sorts, and would make sure that you're safe. Probably not to the point where you're a reason for him living, but to the point where he actually starts too enjoy life, because he gets too be with you.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap? Pretty long actually, like I said, he's a very patient man and he can wait. It's a pretty slow thing, especially with all the love-bombing that he uses. He knows you won't just automatically cling to him and go out with him, so he's willing too work for it, but even he can get impatient, especially if you reject him. He will snap and he will become very confrontational, to the point you become scared of him and are only with him out of fear.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling? Not really, and also not fully, it would be more like him getting rid of things that he doesn't like about your behavior because he would find no pleasure in you being a broken shell of your former self. He'd actually find it quite boring in all honesty. If it was something like you constantly challenging him, which would piss him off, he'd correct that behavior. But he wouldn't break you completely because there's a reason that he likes you and once that reason goes away he'd get bored.

[caustinen]

thinking about hollywood! clegan au 🤭

John Egan is a beloved actor who had his big break 5ish years ago and been doing a steady stream of hit movies ever since, 2-3 a year over all genres

Hollywood’s heartthrob but also a versatile actor who’s amazing at talk shows, considered very cool but also your grandma’s favorite celebrity

Has always been very private about his life outside of the films, always manages to make a joke out of everything when he’s (often) asked about his personal life, just wants to talk about his dog and whichever project he’s promoting

He’s been connected to a bunch of singers and actors (he loves a good party and isn’t aftaid of physical contact so he’s shipped with pretty much everyone he meets)

The absolute SHOCK that goes through entertainment world when he shows up to a premiere with a beautiful man on his arm

There are some speculations about this being another goof to get everyone confused but the picture of John looking at the man and rounding his arms around the his waist at any given moment on the red carpet go viral in relationship pages (they’re used in the type of pics “if your man doesn’t look at you like this…”)

Internet detectives quickly discover the man’s Gale Cleven, a publicist at the firm that represents Egan (not his publicist tho they keep work separate from their relationship)

He’s considered one of the best in the industry but hates spotlight and has stayed away from the media completely so far

However… After dating for 5 years John popped the question and Gale said yes, and as a part of their deal with how to deal with all of that Gale allows John’s long-awaited dream of being able to scream his love from the rooftops

He wasn’t kidding either, every single social media post after that is about how much he loves his fiancé, and the wedding plans are pretty much all he wants to talk about in interviews as well (aside from their dog, of course)

The negative side of it is that the internet also starts to thirst after John’s man and it becomes a new widely shared joke, like everytime John goes to talk shows after that the questions are all centered around ‘Hey, is your fiancé single?’

John is a good sport about it but in private he takes any excuse to mark Gale as his, weather it was a seemingly carelessly placed hand on him any chance he gets or a hickey just visible over his collar and esp when they have sex John never shuts up anyway but now he’s particularly keen on reminding Gale he belongs to him

Gale doesn’t care about the public attention one bit but he loves how happy John is about showing him off, and every time he’s nervous when they’re photographed together John makes sure to make him laugh and relax even on red carpets when everyone is trying to get their attention

The one time they give an interview together the internet goes nuts because Gale is so shy but so sweet and John laughs at everything he says and the two of them are just so clearly smitten with each other people can’t help but root for them

It’s also clear form the interview that while Gale hasn’t been at previous premiers or public outings he’s John’s work’s biggest fan/supporter, John’s telling some story about how they managed to keep their relationship secret while also living an active life like ”Oh and while I was doing promo for this project Gale lived in London with me” and Buck’s always very nonchalantly like ”No actually it was for this project dear” because he’s more aware of John’s work than he is and John will always tease him like ”oh you’re right thank you baby you’re so smart” and Gale would fail to hide his smile behind his hand

(additionals: john’s insta — gale’s insta — how they met — media/friends instas — how they first said i love yous — domestic hcs — gale//red carpet look — troubles with media/fans — jealous bucky — pda video leaks — candid pics — discussions about going public+proposal — going viral during award season — buck’s reaction’s to bucky doing sex scenes — stalker attack — reunion — sickfic — stalker attack cont. — photoshoot — divorce rumors — fanfiction — short n sweet)

[joelsmochi]

Diet Mountain Dew

rating: E 18+ only pairing: f!reader x bfd!joel miller (tv + game series) summary: your boyfriend has been cheating on you, but his uncaring, selfish, and very flirtatious father wants to make it up to you the best way he knows how... warnings: AU (no apocalypse, no sarah), infidelity, 30+ year age gap, asphyxiophilia, dacryphilia, a little rough housing, hair pulling, spanking, oral (m receiving) | let me know if i've missed any! wc: 5.5k a/n: thank you for 500 followers!!! let the record show that i do not condone or endorse cheating at all, this is purely for entertainment purposes!!! i tried something a little bit different with the writing style so please let me know if you guys like it or not!

masterlist

you’re no good for me, but baby i want you…

He couldn’t help his filthy mind. Even if he wanted to. Being around you was always a test of his willpower.

He kept as much distance as respectfully possible, not wanting to give himself away. Still, every night he managed to find himself lying in bed fisting his cock while entertaining the daydreams he often had of fucking you into the bed.

It wasn’t the age difference that deterred him from you, but the mere fact that you were dating his son.

He hated himself for it, but he hated it even more when he would be painting his stomach with white streaks and barely whispering remnants of your name.

And now, as he sits across from you and his son at the dinner table, he hates himself for finding you so pretty.

His eyes keep lowering to look at your grey and white striped tank top — not because he was trying to look at your cleavage but because it fits you perfectly. You kept fidgeting with the top hem of your shirt as if you were ensuring it wasn’t shifting too low. He thought it was cute.

Your voice left him in a trance; he wasn’t paying attention to the conversation, but he enjoyed hearing you rave and ramble about the movie you just went to.

The real mood killer was Jacob — “Okay, we get it. It was a good movie,” he snapped.

“Jacob,” Joel scolded. Though the pout you absentmindedly wore told Joel that it was pointless.

Jacob made an incredulous face and slightly shrugged. “What? She’s been talking about the movie for ten minutes. I feel like I saw the damn thing.”

“Well, I happen to like spoilers.” Joel meant it as a joke in hopes of lightening the mood, but once he saw the slight smile on your face, he felt a sudden rush of protectiveness.

How he could appreciate you more than his son did was beyond him. Joel just hoped it wasn’t a more significant issue behind closed doors.

Over the next few months, Joel had been seeing less and less of you and even managed to overhear some of the times Jacob had been arguing with you over the phone.

From the only half of the conversation he could hear, Joel gathered that you were upset that Jacob was spending more time with “friends” than you, which led Joel to believe it was more of an indication of cheating. He stayed tightlipped about it because he had no desire to stir up any unnecessary drama, but his curiosity grew as time passed.

So when he saw you grabbing some cereal in the grocery store on a random Tuesday, he wasted no time approaching you.

You seemed surprised at him calling your name but gave him a welcoming smile nonetheless.

“Hi, Joel, how are you?”

“I’m alright, how ‘bout you? Feel like I haven’t seen you around lately.”

Your smile nearly dropped completely. “Yeah, uh. Jacob and I are just going through a tough time right now.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” Joel said softly, not really meaning it. “My son aside, I do actually enjoy your company. I mean, you’re the only twenty-four year old I know that likes U2.”

That made you chuckle. “Oh, is my seasoned music taste the only thing I have going for myself,” you bantered.

He tried to contain his blush as if it were even possible. “No, not at all,” he sarcastically replied. “You also don’t use like or totally after every other word.”

You laughed harder at that, maybe a little more than necessary, but it was nice to be complimented on things other than how ‘good you give head.’

A few minutes later, you told Joel you have to get going, and for some reason, he took it as the chance to say, “Next week, they’ll have that new Daniel Craig movie in theaters. I was wonderin’ if you’d want to go. I remember you said something about it.”

You smirked up at him and narrowed your eyes slowly. “Are you asking your son’s girlfriend on a date, Mr. Miller?”

Kind of, he thought.

“No! No, fuck,” he hissed, pinching his nose bridge and squeezing his eyes shut. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make it sound like that.”

And there’s another cute laugh coming out of you. “I’m teasin’. I think it might be a little weird, y’know?”

“Jake can come if you want. Doesn’t have to just be you and me.”

“Mmm… I kinda don’t want him to,” you admitted. “He’ll just complain the whole time. We’re friends, right? Let’s go, just you and me.” Your optimism plastered a smile on his face, and you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t think it was cute. He agreed, and you both said your goodbyes.

As you walked away, you felt a pang of guilt for some reason. It wasn’t a date, but it felt like one. This sudden need to impress Joel Miller (formerly anticipated father-in-law) made you feel weird.

But you thought of all the nights you spent home alone watching movies because your boyfriend was out late again. And again. And again.

After a long and stressful internal debate inside a bath with some Epsom salts, you decided not to care.

So what if you wanted to dress up and wear a little makeup to (hopefully) catch your boyfriend’s dad’s attention? It's not like your boyfriend didn’t spend time doing body shots off of some random girl at the furthest bar across town.

A little male attention wouldn’t hurt anything, right? 

Besides, you didn’t think Joel would actually care. Pretending it was a date was purely just for your entertainment.

So when the day came, you practically ran outside the second you got a text message from him saying he was there. He chewed on his bottom lip to restrain his grin as he watched you walk towards his car, wearing a denim mini-skirt and a white babydoll top.

Your hair was neat and tucked behind your ears, and you were visibly wearing more makeup than usual.

He felt flattered, entertaining the idea of you putting in a little extra effort just for him.

The ride to the theater wasn’t as tense as you had anticipated. You both spent it to talk about the previous movie and the theories you both had for the new one.

While you both were excited to see the actual movie, neither of you could stop noticing the small details about each other.

He smelled your lotion. You smelled his body wash.

He noticed your new earrings. You caught him smiling a lot more.

He looked at you every chance he got. You waited until he looked away to look at him.

He insisted on paying for your tickets and food at the theater, then led you to the “best seats” in the viewing room. Not a date, your ass. He even looked like he put effort into buying a new pair of jeans.

The tension inside you grew as soon as the movie began. And fucking hell, you didn’t know you could get so horny so fast. It was stupid little things that made you clench your thighs occasionally.

No fingers brushing. No elbows touching. Nothing like that.

Instead, it was the sound of his fingernails scratching the thick layer of scruff along his jaw, how he occasionally readjusted in his seat and seemingly spread his legs a little more, and when he would look over at you to ensure you were enjoying the movie.

This had gone a little further in your head than you intended, but you didn’t fucking want it to stop.

Maybe halfway through the movie, he realized you hadn't opened any of your candy. You always ate candy during a movie; it was something Jacob found cute when you first started dating and something Joel grew accustomed to long before his crush even developed. Joel even made it a point to keep a stash for when Jacob had you over for movie night.

He felt a little silly for hyper-fixating on such a weird and relatively small detail, but then he saw your legs clench together. He tried telling himself you were only readjusting your position, but then you sighed in a peculiar tone. The sigh that Joel always let out when he was sexually frustrated.

He would have continued telling himself he was reading too much into it, but another soft sigh left your lips, and suddenly, all he could think about was having you beneath him making the same pretty noises.

All the signs were there, but who would initiate it, and how? He worried he bit off more than he could chew by inviting you here. It only got more difficult to ignore when his cock stiffened inside his jeans, rolling his eyes at the fact that he wasn’t in the comfort of his own home to take care of it.

You noticed his hand palming his jeans and glanced over at him, only to see his erection throb against his pants, hard.

Knowing you’d probably regret it, you put your hand beneath the armrest and suddenly rested your hand high up on his thigh. His body tensing made you halt any more sudden movements, but nothing suggested he wanted you to stop.

He searched for the strength to push your hand off and tell you to stop, that this was wrong, and to remind you of your assumed loyalty to his son.

But he didn’t want that at all.

He liked having your hand on his thigh where it felt like it belonged, painted nails drawing small circles along the denim.

What he truly needed was for this fucking movie to be over. Once it finally was, he wasted no time getting you back into his truck.

“Joel?” Your voice was fragile and soft, and you wondered why he hadn’t made a move yet or at least started the engine. “Should I not have done that?”

“What were you thinkin’?” Was all he could think to ask.

“Guess I wasn’t.”

“No. You shouldn’t’a done that.”

“I’m sorry…”

“You will be.”

You don’t remember who initiated it or climbed in the backseat first. All you knew was that you were looking at the back of a building, the mall, or something, and you heard Joel grunting next to your ear while his hips slammed against your ass.

You felt a soreness forming around where his rough hands were holding you, but you didn’t flinch or pull away. You leaned into the meanness of his grip, allowing it to satiate all of that burning desire running along your flesh.

“Oh my God, Joel, ye-yes.”

His name dripping so effortlessly from your lips only urged him to fuck you even faster, his truck no doubt shaking violently because of it, some metal underneath made that obnoxious creaking sound to verify.

“You like that, huh,” he groaned; his fingers wrapped around the cuff of your elbow to meet his body halfway with the thrusts. “Needy fuckin’ girl. Takin’ me so well-agh!“

“So deep,” you huffed out.

“C’mere.”

Joel carefully turned your body around, sitting you back against the door before sliding his cock back inside of you with ease from how wet you were.

“Joel,” you moaned without reason, eyes fluttering shut as the curve of his shaft continued to rut into that sensitive spot.

He pulled the strap of your tank top down to find you braless. Of course. He smirked and licked his thumb and index finger before giving your stiff nipple a soft pinch.

Your breath shuddered at the surge of pleasure, and then he did the same thing to your clit with his other hand.

“Oh my fucking-“ You cut words off with a deep moan, finding it a little silly that such a slight squeeze to your clit could make you melt the way it did.

“Tha’ feel good, baby?” He asked, voice hoarse from choking back his own moans.

You hummed and nodded, something he thought was cute and began to rub your clit forcefully with his big thumb. Your mind felt numb from all of it, so much pleasure releasing itself.

Looking up at Joel made you feel so small, protected, and cared for. Looking down between your legs, he looked so focused on making you feel good.

“He doesn’t fuck you like this, does he?”

You shot your wide-eyed gaze up at him, surprised at his sudden appraisal of his son.

He chuckled and took his hand from your breast to softly hold your chin. “You gettin’ all shy on me now, girl?” Suddenly, he fell to an achingly slow rhythm and curled his hips into yours instead of his previous thrusting. “…I thought you had a bit more confidence than that.”

You scowled at his taunts, not sure what to say back. You just wanted to fucking cum. Noticing your lack of response made him chuckle again.

“What? My son don’t fuck you stupid like this?” He whispered onto your lips.

“…No,” you finally whimpered.

You felt a weird rush of emotion pass through you; the father of your boyfriend talking down on him while simultaneously fucking you didn’t turn you off like it maybe should have… If anything, it pushed you closer to the edge.

Joel raised his eyebrows in amusement and half smiled at your flushed face. “No?” His finger still made loops around your clits, his cock drenched in your heat. He wanted you to feel all of it.

“You make me feel so good, Joel.” You reached up to give him a chaste kiss.

“You take me so well, honey,” he said against your neck. “I want you to cum for me. Can you do that, baby? Hmm?”

You whispered out your confirmation and grabbed a hold of his greying hair. You wanted to memorize this moment thread by thread. His hair smelled of cheap shampoo and his beard of coffee, but his arms and chest smelled like him with the hint of sweat that made your eyes roll to the back of your head. God, how you could just bathe in him, cumming and unfolding in his strong arms. 

“Oh- Joel, I’m cu—I’m cumming,” you choked out. He said something about how good you were that you couldn’t quite process.

You held onto him tightly and cried out at the sensation of your knotted-up tension unraveling inside you like a Christmas present just waiting to be opened up. It fluttered and filled every corner of your mind, all while you moaned his name. You couldn’t even confuse it with his son’s. Joel.

Joel just worked better in your mind than Jacob ever could. Joel worked your body better, too. Maybe even a little better than you.

Your mind was so fucking blank that you almost didn’t feel Joel collapse onto you as he finished himself, moaning your name and running his hands all over you as if to savor it. He kissed you softly, slowly pulling out of you, and discarded the condom somewhere.

“So pretty when you cum.”

You lazily giggled at the compliment and sat up to grab your panties, but Joel snatched them from your weak hand. He took your legs and rested them in his lap to slide the fabric up your calves and thighs. You just watched and smiled at his further appreciation for your body as he did the same with your skirt.

“You really know how to treat a lady,” you playfully cooed, reaching for another kiss that he returned, savoring it.

He bashfully smiled, like his mind was elsewhere. “You know we can’t do this again, right?”

“We will,” you quipped, confidence returning; he glanced over at you and frowned, confused at the sly grin you wore proudly. You climbed onto his lap and ran your nails over his facial hair, trailing over his pursed lips and furrowed eyebrows. “The more you fight it, the more you’ll need me, Joel.”

And fuck, were you right.

Weeks. He waited weeks after that encounter to see you. Weeks, he felt disappointed when you didn’t attend the weekly dinner that Joel and Jacob agreed upon him moving out.

He no longer felt guilty touching himself to thoughts of you. He was angry. Why couldn’t you just say you agreed with him instead of letting him know there was an opportunity to do it again? Why make yourself available to anyone other than his (shitty) son?

That anger turned into thirst when you finally decided to show up for Jacob’s small birthday dinner. Aunts, uncles, and cousins gathered to wish the only child a happy birthday. Meanwhile, Joel couldn’t tear his eyes away from you the second you walked in — partially because he wasn’t expecting you to show up after not seeing you for a while, but he’d never seen you wear something so… Short.

As possessive as he wanted to be, he knew he had to keep his composure not to reward you the satisfaction and keep his promise to himself. What he hadn’t considered is that you would not make those same promises.

While Joel finished preparing the food, you told Jacob you’d help bring everything else out so he could sit around the living room and talk to his family and friends.

You took the unnecessary route and grazed your chest against Joel’s elbow as you reached into the refrigerator to grab some drinks before taking them to the other room. You made as many sly little trips like that, not looking at or towards Joel whatsoever but making sure he was looking at you.

You saved Joel’s beer for last. You always brought him his beer once you realized he usually had one before eating dinner any time you were over. It wasn’t anything malicious or sneaky until now.

You grabbed the brown glass bottle and stood next to him. Finally giving him the satisfaction of looking at him, you twisted the cap off and wrapped your lips around the cold rim, tilting the glass up and tasting some of the orange-flavored liquid, lips coming off the bottle with a pop.

Those lips. That noise. It filled his mind with the image of you a second ago, only instead of a beer bottle, he imagined his hard cock.

He watched carefully as you licked up a running droplet from the side of the neck; you held the bottle up for him to take, and tensely, he did so.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” His usual response but in a more sultry tone.

It made you blush and stare at him like he hung the stars and moon every night for you. “You’re welcome, Joel.”

He kept his eyes on you as you walked away for the last time, thinking about everything he wanted to do to you.

His hands were firm, clasped tightly around your wrists. His body pressed into your back while he pushed you against the wall. He hated that you were laughing. That you thought this was a funny game.

He thrusted into your ass without care, hurting you slightly with the pressure. He grabbed a hold of your hair and yanked it. He almost smiled at you, yelping out.

“Where’s that little fucking smile at now, huh,” he gritted. Then he planted a hard smack to your cheek, not bothering to soothe it the slightest bit. “You think you can just tease me and test me and fucking treat me however you want? Hmm? Think you can walk around with your ass damn near hangin’ out of this fucking dress?”

A tear rolled down your burning cheek as you whimpered, “I’m sorry, Joel. I w-wanted your attention.”

“You got what you wanted. Don’t fuckin’ cry about it now.”

Feeling your panties fill with a warm desire, you felt pathetic and weak.

Do I like that, you wondered, feeling used and being hurt?

You got your confirmation from the dumb little whimper you let out when you felt Joel’s body release from you. He boots thumping against the floor a few times before the bed creaked from his body weight.

“Get on your knees,” he ordered.

You pushed away from the wall and tiptoed to him. He almost felt bad for making you cry, but you were pushing his fucking buttons all night long. You sank to the floor, sitting on your bare feet and looking at him through wet eyelashes. Joel was more than glad that Jacob decided to go to a party with his friends and even more pleased that he didn't ask questions when you said you'd stay to help Joel clean up.

“I’m sorry, Joel-“

“You will be.”

You softly smile at him, repeating those words, knowing this time he meant it.

His eyes were cold and shallow when they stared into yours as his hands worked to undo his belt buckle. The metal teeth clanking together made you shudder, and you tried your best to keep your eyes locked with his.

“You misbehave once, and this belt goes ‘round your neck,” he warned, “we clear?”

You bashfully nodded, thankful he accepted it as an answer. Though you secretly hoped he would do it already, knowing you were bound to back talk him at some point.

Joel began to undo his jeans, and he made a ticking noise behind his teeth, ruminating on how you played with him at the table.

“Playin’ with my cock under the table,” he grunted, pulling his jeans down to his knees, “what kinda girl are you?”

“It’s been too long since I’ve seen you, felt you,” you said, glancing down at the growing erection beneath his plaid boxers. “I was being needy.”

“Yes, you were,” he simpered, “but you know I like that.”

You hesitated for a second before jumping into his lap and kissing him. Thrown off, it was a moment until he relaxed into your body, grasping the sides of your waist and hungrily kissing you back with a groan emitting from his throat.

He tasted like a man. He smelled like a man. Beer and body wash and perspiration drowning your senses. Your pussy ached when he slipped his beer-coated tongue into your mouth, sloppily licking around the ridges of your teeth and lips, tasting your chapstick and that one sip of alcohol you stole from him a couple of hours prior.

He felt your shaky hands reach to pull his cock out of his boxers; you pumped it slowly with one hand between your bodies, causing his moans to fall into your mouth.

He got a hold of your tits and massaged them gently before giving your nipples both a hard pinch, making you yelp and pull away from him. After chuckling at your pouty face, he grabbed hold of your hair and pulled it to his liking, almost treating you like a rag doll.

“Need you to suck my cock,” he choked out, sounding almost as if he were pleading of you to do it.

“Are you asking?”

He tugged your hair a little harder to signal he was not asking.

“Yes, sir.”

He watched intently as you stripped down to your panties and sat back in your previous position on the floor, taking his pants off and propping your arms on his burly thighs. He leaned back after unbuttoning his shirt and watched your tongue lick up a thick bead of precum from his tip, and you swallowed it without a second thought.

You drooled and spit all over his cock, wanting to make it a little messy for him, and even spreading some around his balls which made him incandescently moan.

And finally, you took him into your mouth, slobbering and sucking and moaning away around his girth. Your hand pumped to the sane rhythm of your mouth while gently squeezing and twisting it to add to his pleasure.

Joel’s head fell back in ecstasy; he couldn’t hold back his moans even if he wanted to. Your mouth was so warm and inviting, and it felt so fucking good. Your tongue lapping away as you sucked drove him crazy, and he found himself wondering why the fuck his son was cheating on you.

“That’s it, baby—mnh, fuck,” he encouraged. “Just like that. Ohh, just like that.”

His hand stroked your hair, and you looked up at him from the touch. Those eyes of yours made his thighs twitch and his stomach contract.

He wanted to punish you for making him wait, for teasing him, for being so fucking irresistible… But he couldn’t. Not now, at least. He felt weak beneath you, out of control. And he loved it: watching you take control of him, his dick. The slurping noises coming from your mouth not only suggested that you knew what you were doing but that you fucking loved it.

Your lips humming around him and creating webs of spit and precum made his dick harder than he had ever felt it. He was so close already, dire for his release, and it didn’t help when you surprised him with a rough thrust into your throat.

It hurt a lot, but that’s what you wanted. To ruin yourself for him. Show Joel what he could be getting every fucking night. Tears ran down your cheeks as you put him further down your throat until your nose was buried into the black and grey hairs surrounding the base of his cock.

He cried out your name and obscenities, saying, “Please,” for something, but you were not sure what exactly. His trembling thighs began closing around your head, not aiding in the lack of oxygen you had left, but he tried to fight it. You refused to let up on him, only swallowing hard and gagging harder, waiting for him to shoot his cum down your throat.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck! Oh fuck, no one- agh—no one’s ever fucking gone that deep-“

That’s what he was pleading for: he wanted you to quit. He didn’t want to cum so soon. But he tasted so good, and you had gotten him so fucking close, you couldn’t see yourself quitting now.

You pulled your head up to mess with Joel’s head, making him think you were listening. But you only went back down, making him pull your hair to stop you from disobeying him. Your lips departed from him with a pop, the same pop that he'd heard when you took a sip of his drink. It made him all the more desperate.

Despite your coughing and choking, he slipped his belt around your neck and looped it, not saying anything to ridicule you and simply tugging at the belt roughly. You choked a little more and then smiled at him, drool dripping down your chin onto your breasts. The sight was purely pornographic. Your lips were puffy, your face red, eyes dark and welling up, tears streaks on your cheekbones.

“Since you wanna fucking choke on something so bad…”

He tugged at the belt once again to emphasize his point. He stood up and yanked the leather to guide you where he wanted, yet that proud look never left your face. You were on all fours on the bed as if you were on display for him, and he stood behind you, pressing his thumb to your slit and spreading your juices around lazily.

You hummed at the small amount of friction and arched your ass up for him. Wiggling your hips in desperation, he smacked your ass hard enough to sting, the echo in the room ringing against your eardrums.

Joel smacked his fat tip against your asshole smirking when he felt it pucker; he took his wet cock in his hand, pumping it a few times before allowing it to sink inside of your needy cunt. You found yourself burying your face into the sheets as he began fucking you, the tug around your neck digging deeper as Joel maintained his grip on it.

“Such a fucking slut, so wet from just sucking my cock,” he spat, watching his cock disappear into your swelling pussy over and over and over. “S’it feel good, baby?”

You nodded, arching your back even more to feel him reach deeper and whimpering whenever his tip brutally bumped your cervix.

Suddenly, you felt a firm yank against your neck. “Use your words.”

“Feels so good, Joel,” you answered.

A swell of desire fills your belly, growing each time he thrusts into that sweet little spot inside of you. You’re clawing at the bed, reaching your neck forward to apply the satisfaction of not being able to breathe.

His free hand pressed against the swell of your ass, gripping it tightly as his hips snapped against the back of your thighs, making a clapping sound fill the room. You moaned into his duvet, slobber trailing out of the corners of your mouth. His balls hitting your clit with every thrust gave you the added pleasure you needed to finish if he kept this rhythm, but his voice was what you needed to send you over the edge.

"Such a pretty fucking pussy," he groaned. "Love how you squeeze my cock with it. Ohh, yeah, that's it, baby. You need to cum? Hmm? Does this pretty pussy need to cum?"

Your moans, muffled by the sheets, resulted in him pulling the belt up enough to make you lift your head so that he could hear you more clearly. "Yes yes yesss, Joel- MNH, oh fuck yes, please please."

He never forgot how your body gave away when you needed to cum; your body heaved with anticipation, your knuckles turned pale from your tight grip, your walls clung to him tighter than what was comfortable (which he fucking lived for then and now), and your moans heightened in pitch and volume. He couldn't punish you when you sounded so sexy screaming his name, it was his biggest weakness.

"I know, baby, I know. You can come," he encouraged sweetly, massaging the dip in your back to help relax you. "Cum for me, sweetheart. Need to feel you- fuck- cum for me."

And a few seconds later, you were convulsing beneath him from the tight coil inside of you finally breaking into shreds. The belt being pulled tighter around your neck rendered you helpless as it created the euphoria of what felt like nearly passing out. The fuzzy vision and the black spots sent your mind into a daze, or it could have been the lack of air. Your eyes grew heavy as your orgasm persisted from Joel's lack of mercy for your cunt. He just pounded away like you were made for him and his enjoyment only, and it thrilled you even more.

He grabbed your shoulder gently to bring your back to his chest and let go of the belt. You breathed heavily, and Joel kissed your jaw endearingly, his beard scraping your skin.

"So good f'me, you know that?" He moaned against your ear. His eyes fluttered shut when his hand went to cradle your chin, and he felt all of the saliva and tears coating your face. 

"Can't take it," you mumbled.

Your cunt was aching and sore, still pulsing from the harsh climax you had to endure with him not easing up at all. Your lips were swollen from his rough pounding, and your ass was burning from his hairs scratching against you. His cruel laugh filled your ears and made even more tears fall from your eyes.

"Fucking ruined you," he chuckled, earning another moan from you. "You can take it, baby. I know you can. I know you can be a good girl for me. Gonna fill you up with my cum- mmngh... Make sure this pussy knows it belongs to me."

"It does," you huff out, reaching to hold onto his forearms. "Not anyone else. Not even me. Just for you, Joel. It's all yours. Not even Jacob's."

That sent him over the edge. A pathetic whimper followed by a moan left his hoarse throat while he gave you one last powerful thrust. That cold feeling of guilt flooded his body and turned him on even more; he relished in the confidence you reclaimed, knowing that the guilt and secrecy of it all also turned you on in the darkest of ways.

"Fuck," he shouted as the last of his spend poured inside of your sore pussy. He placed a gentle kiss on your lips and slowly pulled out of you to sit beside you on the bed before you climbed to straddle his thighs. "You're amazing," he whispered against your lips whilst unraveling the belt from your neck. "You know you really are gonna help me clean up," he teased, sending you into a short fit of laughter.

"Only if we get to make one more mess, Mr. Miller."

dividers by cafekitsune

[thankskenpenders]

It's a bit late, but I figure I have to touch on the big news from today, which is that for an (early) April Fools celebration Sega went and released a free visual novel about Sonic getting murdered

Here's a thing you should know about me: I am deathly allergic to ironic visual novels, and the related trend of announcing dating sims (which are synonymous with the medium of visual novels as a whole to many people) on April Fools

Aside from an incredibly small selection of titles that have seen wider success, it feels like much of the game industry is only willing to acknowledge visual novels as a punchline. And said jokes about dating sim stereotypes have been done a million fucking times by now. They're parodies of parodies of parodies. Even when these prank dating sims actually go and get made rather than just being a few fake screenshots, it feels like it's just because VNs are seen as cheap, disposable entertainment compared to "real" games. Companies can afford to commission some bullshit like the KFC dating sim and write it off as a marketing stunt. And it works. These games will get widely reported on for being so ~wacky~, while devs pouring their hearts into doing sincere, interesting work with the medium of visual novels are usually out of fucking luck. It's so, so tiring. The fact that this happens like clockwork every year has made me come to dread April Fools Day

So imagine my surprise when The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog drops out of nowhere and it's actually one of my favorite Sonic games in years

Aside from the intentionally tongue-in-cheek, attention-grabbing title (and Sonic doing the Family Guy Death Pose), there isn't an ounce of irony here. It's just a straight up whodunnit VN set on a train, albeit a lighthearted and pretty easy one. It's still a Sonic game, after all, and Sonic games are for kids. But it's so clearly made out of a place of love, both for the characters and for murder mysteries, rather than being a parody that's constantly winking at the camera and going "haha, isn't this absurd that this even exists at all?" Forget that. This wants to tell a genuinely good little Sonic story. Not to mention how gorgeous all of the artwork is throughout, with character illustrations from IDW cover artist Min Ho Kim (AKA deegeemin)

Like, for real. I've wanted the Sonic games to explore the supporting cast more for years, and I can't believe the game to finally do it is a murder mystery visual novel released for April Fools. This might be one of the best showcases of the cast... ever, in the games? The script from Ian Mutchler is so, so great, with fun and cute moments for everyone involved. And, smartly, you see the cast through the eyes of a new character (I named them "Blorbo") who isn't necessarily familiar with things like Blaze being a princess from another dimension, making this a surprisingly valid way to introduce people to the supporting cast. I'd say more, but it's a short game, so I think everyone should just go out and play it if you haven't already

There is still part of me that wishes a Sonic visual novel like this could've been greenlit for release any other day of the year, rather than being yet another April Fools visual novel. But regardless of the excuse they used to make it, I'm extremely happy that this exists

[seelestia]

— 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐋, 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄?

SUMMARY. in which you decide to do their eye makeup for them and the many antics that come with it.

CHARACTERS. zhongli, alhaitham, xiao, wanderer, gorou, itto.

GENRE. fluff, slight crack, established relationship.

CW. close proximity, one use of pet name, zhongli sorta acts like a cat, alhaitham is a lil insufferable but you love him, wanderer is also an inch away from choking you (affectionately).

THOUGHTS. question: is their eye makeup waterproof or do they apply it every morning?? fascinating. p/s: happy birthday to @zhongrin! lots of love to one of the best people i've ever met on this site <3

✰ masterlist.

© written by @seelestia. do not copy, translate, repost to other sites nor claim as yours!

— ZHONGLI.

❝Apologies, dear. Is this distance acceptable?❞

ZHONGLI smells of rich cologne and the vapor of tea brews wafting through the air when you step into a teahouse. You know this, of course, you've buried yourself in his embrace countless times before — but to have your face so close to his like this, you've never felt an urge to look away quite this strong before.

You stay composed, however, Zhongli can't always be the only one with the cool composure in this household, after all. "Mhm, perfect," you nod with a quiet hum as he closes his eyes, settling his chin in your palm so snugly that you laugh.

"You're like a cat," you remark, trying to suppress the littlest impulse to bump your forehead onto his in an affectionate way. "Is that so?" Gentle eyes that resemble amber gemstones flutter open to meet yours.

(Almost, were you accidentally about to poke his eye out of sheer panic from his beauty. Almost.)

"I'm glad to know that comparing me to felines seems to bring you amusement," Zhongli brushes his hand against your hair, "But let us focus on the task at hand, my love."

"Lest we miss our reservation at Liuli Pavilion. It is most polite to be punctual," he reminds you. How mean of him; to say such things and expect you to fully register it when he is softly rubbing your cheek like this as if lulling you to sleep.

Seriously, the amount of self-control you have to muster spontaneously in order to fight off the need to lean further into his hand is indescribable. Who's supposed to be the feline again? Anyway. "Okay, okay, I won't dawdle anymore," you adjust his chin in your hold as your other works to bring up the eyeliner to his eye.

"My husband has to look his best, after all," you slip in a little joke."Of course, darling," but Zhongli's answer doesn't sound like he's kidding at all.

(How can he say that with such a straight face? This man, seriously.)

— ALHAITHAM.

❝You're actually concentrating, I'm impressed.❞

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" you scrunch your face, frowning at how his words are jabbing at your pride. Has he not realized the power you have in your hands right now? You could actually poke his eyes with the eyeliner you're holding if you want to — not like you would, but Alhaitham is making it a smidgen harder to resist.

"I can focus, alright?" Huffing, you put aside your trivial grudges to grab his chin softly with your other hand. Alhaitham relents with an entertained smile, "All those times you fall asleep every time I read to you says otherwise."

"Well, that's— that's different," you stammer. In your defense, most of the books he chose to read to you are either theoretical physics or philosophies; it's a wonder how you're lulled to sleep even though it isn't a storybook. Of course, Alhaitham's library is a range of wide genres but you're starting to think he picks those books solely for you.

You're pulled out of your train of thoughts when you put in some distance to view your finished artwork. With Alhaitham's face as the canvas, somewhat comically.

(Well, aren't his eyes pretty? They look even sharper when accented with the eyeliner... whether that be for better or for worse. You shake your head internally at any poor person who happens to test his patience later today.)

"Wow," you mumble dazedly, "Red eyeliner really suits you." He raises an eyebrow at the genuineness in your quiet voice but only lifts his face away from your hand in response. Alhaitham regards your efforts in the mirror beside the two of you with a hum, "Maybe we should make this a routine, then."

There is a little something oddly hidden behind his sentence. Accusingly, you voice your suspicion by squinting your eyes at the Scribe, "...You just don't wanna do it yourself, do you?" And he enables it without a doubt, "Feel free to speculate."

(Ugh, this man.)

"But regardless..." he crosses his arms against his chest with a nod, "It doesn't look so bad."

(Would it have killed him from the inside out to say a compliment with a positive connotation? Okay, whatever, you love him.)

— XIAO.

❝....❞

Silent, quiet, and frozen in place like a statue.

The mere presence of those traits are more than enough reasons to have you worrying whether or not XIAO is still breathing. He is, thankfully, you can confirm that from the close proximity between the two of you and you mentally let out a sigh of relief.

(Thank the Archons you didn't lean in any further lest you would've heard how terribly his poor heart is faring and he doesn't want that.)

There is one more problem, however.

"You don't have to close your eyes that hard, you know..." you try to start, but Xiao still doesn't falter one bit; "It is of utmost necessity," he insists for the nth time since you've lost count.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

(Talk about stubborn.)

Your question is coming from a place of genuine concern because the frown on his forehead looks like it's going to engrave itself there forever from how intensely he is closing his eyes... Doesn't that hurt? You resist the urge to soothe away that frown with your thumb.

It's a good thing that it's only the two of you here right now, though. A stranger would be scared to death if they were to be gazed at with such an intense look and from the Conqueror of Demons at that. Oh, whatever will happen to your efforts of trying to prove to the children at Liyue Harbor that Xiao is actually a softie? Gee.

(But still, you can't help but smile.)

"Utmost necessity, huh?" you echo back his words with a hum. Your intentions bear no mockery but it seems the adeptus still manages to find some sort of dissatisfaction in your reaction. "Do not smile at me like that," Xiao mutters within a choked exhale that only serves to make him come off less stern than he would've liked.

His eyes are still, very much, closed as far as you can see.

The irony of it all tickles a chuckle out of you, mirth glazed over your eyes. "Is this an Adepti art I'm not aware of or are you secretly looking at me even with your eyes closed?" you ask cheekily. Xiao's cheeks are but a mere inch away from bursting into flames and he can only use words as his defense.

"...There is no need for you to know," he huffs.

Well, he isn't denying it, that's for sure.

(The answer is intuition.)

— WANDERER.

❝...Are you done yet? Any more second of this torture and I might just perish from boredom.❞

You're doing his makeup for him and this is the kind of treatment you get? You would've faked a gasp if you weren't so busy holding in a laugh over how his body is betraying his speech. That flustered look on WANDERER's face isn't helping his case at all.

"Uh-huh," your drawled out reply is enough of an indication to show that you're not really taking his words (threats?) seriously. Wanderer's bark can be as harsh as his bite, but you've never minded all the barks he sends your way — so much so that you barely even spare him any eye contact in favor of perfecting the red shade you're trying to blend around his eyelids.

(Perfection requires concentration, they say.)

But that doesn't mean you can't see anything else, though. You're uncertain if the Wanderer realizes this or somehow forgets because you can, in fact, see from your peripheral vision — and from said peripheral angle, he seems to be looking at something of yours rather intensely.

"You're staring at my lips," you point out.

"Shut it," he grumbles out his defense as fast as lightning.

(Caught him red-handed.)

"Sorry," you chuckle teasingly, "If you want a kiss, you're gonna have to wait for a bit." The way he looks so undeniably irritated by your statement makes you have no other option but to burst into a mini chuckling fit.

"Ugh, it's not like you can't lean in closer to—" His mouth snaps to a stop once it dawns on him; that your words are an attempt at reading his mind and he is technically confirming it to your face.

"Actually, nevermind, whatever. Just get this over and done with," he averts his eyes quickly with a scowl that feels as harmless as a naby deer (to you, anyway). "Giving up already?" you raise an eyebrow jokingly. With how Wanderer closes his eyes with a sigh, you assume he is only mere seconds away from giving your forehead a good flick.

"Don't think you're completely off the hook," he sternly interjects with a huff, "You still owe me some kind of compensation for taking your sweet time with this."

"And will that compensation be in the form of a kiss, per chance?" you hum amusedly.

"...It better be," he closes his eyes as if to signify the end of his willingness to comment any further.

Wanderer has never been one to shy away from the truth, but that is only because its taste always turns out bitter. Yet, in this case, when the truth entails something as embarrassingly sweet as desiring a kiss from you, then it becomes a conundrum for him.

After all, he is not fond of sweet things but he is fond of you. Maybe, this close proximity is getting to his head a little too much for his liking — darn it, he knew this was a bad idea the moment you showed him those puppy eyes.

— GOROU.

❝This is... embarrassing...❞

GOROU looks like he is merely a hair's breadth away from digging a hole into the ground and burrowing in it forever. But thankfully, the only thing keeping him on the surface happens to be you, the person holding him still by the cheek.

"There is nothing to be embarrassed about," you squish his cheek gently and Gorou lets out a noise akin to a little whine. "What if one of the soldiers sees us?" he protests, yet makes no actual initiative to remove himself from your grasp.

"Let them," you tap the eyeliner pen against his forehead two times and he winces dramatically as if you just struck him over the head. "Ouch!" Gorou rubs the sore spot instinctively and you can feel a faint trickle of guilt (even though you only hit him with the amount of strength someone would need to blow a dandelion), yet that is still not enough to the little lecture you're about to give him.

"Being the General of the Resistance doesn't mean you have to do everything yourself. It's okay to rely on someone to do something for you once in a while, you know."

"Even something as small as letting them do your eye makeup for you," you huff with a proud smile as an emphasis, carefully tracing a line on the outer part above his eyes.

"...Mmpf," the muffled noise that comes out of his mouth has you raising an eyebrow. Although unsure if it's because of that pout on his lips or his puffed cheeks, you still let out a little laugh at the thought of said possibilities anyway.

"Pfft, what's that sound?" you tease, "Does that mean you agree with me or not?"

"[Y/N]," Gorou calls your name in a stern tone or at least, tries to.

(He has never been good at scolding people but he swears if you keep on teasing him, he'll actually explode. ...And by that, he means melting into a puddle of jelly on the ground.)

— ITTO.

❝You gotta make em' look super dope, alright? Make sure you put more highlights on this one! And oh, this one right here too!❞

No one really knows whether the tattoos on ITTO's skin are actually real or not. Knowing he is someone of Oni blood doesn't narrow down the answer any further but if you were to ask him about them yourself, Itto prefers to call them "100% natural, baby!".

Not to mention, he is always looking for ways to make them stand out or look cooler — which led to this grand idea of asking you to do his makeup for him because apparently, your touch is magical since you're his favorite person on this emtire planet (his words, not yours).

...He can come up with the most random things to say sometimes. But hey, seeing a grown Oni beg on his knees sure was something and you didn't have the heart to say no to him.

"Sooooo," Itto starts with an attempt to clear his throat professionally, "How does it feel like having the honor to prepare me for my next battle?" he accentuates his sentence with a series of haughty laughter that cause his shoulders to shake vigorously.

"Don't move," you scrunch your face with a frown, pinching him indignantly for nearly breaking your focus. "Yikes! Sorry, sorry, I'll stay still!" the Oni yelps, a noise so embarrassing he almost cups his mouth like second nature.

But he doesn't do that, in fear of being pinched by your lovely fingers and proceeds to look at you with eyes befitting that of a kicked puppy's. "...You'll come and cheer for me, right?" Itto asks pleadingly and you smile.

"Of course," you say and he has to resist the urge to do a full-on fist bump into the air. But you still have some more left to say as you continue, "Just don't cry if you lose, alright? You'll ruin the makeup and besides...." There is a devious grin resting on your face now, "You don't want the kids to think your face makeup look like tear marks, don't you?"

Yup, there comes that offended gasp you've been waiting for.

"What— heck no!" Itto places a hand on his chest dramatically, "Tear marks?! Preposterous! The Arataki Itto doesn't shed tears! Of course not!" You can only hide your giggles behind your palm while Itto struggles to defend his wounded pride.

"...Forrealthough, doesitactuallylookliketearmarks—"

Now, you've got him second-guessing himself (but at least, he's cute?).

─ ⊹ ⊱ ・・・・・・☆・・・・・・・⊰ ⊹ ─

© SEELESTIA, may 2023. do not repost, plagiarize, translate nor claim as your own.

✰ TAGLIST: @meimeimeirin @hcikazu @tsuk4sa-yug1 @catcze @semi-orangeapple @yuuki4646 @d-a-r-k-s-w-a-n @daisydkj @omgscaramouche @coquettemaiden @lemontum @herdrops @lleoll @xiaosonlybeloved @chiisananingen @irethepotato @ainescribe @blooodyvampy @starlightaura @jihyuniepark @duhsies @maybemiko @lordbugs @sakkakuu-squared — [ bolded names are unable to be tagged + register here to be a part of my taglist! ]

[i-cant-sing]

Whispers in your ear like a devil on your shoulder: you should make the Miguel O'Hara scenarios. Think of the hot dad energy he would emanate :))))))

Jokes aside, it is truly up to you what to write and I would always read it, but I am begging on my hands and knees for you to tell us the platonic yandere Miguel O'Hara scenarios you have thought of.

Nooo stooopppp girll- *puts on Miguel's theme music in the background* ahh shit here we go.

Platonic Yandere Miguel O'Hara as a dad:

Okay, so im just gonna word vomit here and yall make sense of it, but like the first thing that comes to mind when I think about yandere dad Miguel is that him kidnapping daughter reader from a universe where he doesn't exist, so he's technically not breaking canon or whatever and really, it doesnt even matter if you're his bio kid or not, like u could be a literal random civilian but if he is drawn to u, then he is. And while some of yall say "oh come on, Miguel cant be like that. He doesn't make careless/thoughtless decisions like that" I'm sorry, but is this not the same person who had the nerve to step in as his dead self from an AU and sleep with his parallel universe's wife and father someone else's kid??? Granted, they did end up dying but really, the only difference between that decision and this decision to kidnap u is to make sure that u don't end up dyingggg.

Moving on, he kidnaps u, makes up some bs about your life being in danger and blah blah blah, you HAVE to stay by his side, okay??? And at first, reader is like "umm okay?" because who tf wouldnt agree with SPIDERMAN??? (especially one who looks like Miguel? he is already giving dad vibes)

And the thing with Miguel is that he super protective (because PTSD) and he's possessive too, so the only person you're allowed to hang out with is Mayday (she is the cutest, i would die to have a kid like her ngl) because he doesnt see her as a threat (someone who could take u away from him). ABSOLUTELY NO CONTACT with Miles (because he hates that kid, pain in his ass/bane of his existence) and pretty much all other spiderpersons as well because all of them are sarcastic and he does not need them rubbing off on u. The only other person he would trust u with is Peter B, probably when Miguel needs a babysitter (because u learned to mess with his tech-typy-locks and traps, so u need an actual person to keep eyes on u. curse the universe for u being smart like ur papa), and the biggest reason he does trust peter with u is because since peter is a father himself, he would definitely know that while miguel's methods are wrong, in his own way, he is protecting u, and peter b knows that he would do absolutely anything to keep his daughter safe too. Also- since peter has mayday, if he were to actually take u away from Miguel, then Miguel would 10000% kidnap mayday and use her against peter too until he inevitably has to return u to him.

Now Miguel is emotionally crippled due to his trauma, so he's not great at expressing his feelings, at least not when you're awake. When you're asleep, maybe his eyes turn a little softer, maybe he cups your cheek, some guilt and sadness swirling in his eyes when he sees your tear stained cheek (because u missed ur family. or maybe u got told off by Miguel in front of everyone), presses a soft kiss to your forehead and mumbles something in spanish ("you will understand in due time, mi hija.") Definitely has cameras in your room, so he looks at you through the screen and sighs when u flop on the bed and stuff your head in the pillow and start crying, heart slightly heavy with guilt.

Except from interacting with others and leaving the spider society/his apartment (idk where he lives), every need of yours is pretty much taken care of IF you follow his rules. If you behave, u get everything. If u yell at him, try to break out of his place etc, privileges are revoked and BAM, you are now confined to your room with no access to entertainment or any of your hobbies he allowed u to have. Those novels u liked to read? Too bad, they get thrown in the fireplace. Gaming console? Broken in his hands. Liked to cook/bake? No access to kitchen because u are now locked in your room.

Miguel has one important rule- you MUST obey him, under all circumstances, no questions asked. If he tells you to go to your room, honey go before his eyes turn sharp and he has to manhandle you. If he tells you to eat dinner with him, you need to eat food even if you are full. And if he's forbidden you from going to the locked room in his place that's full of info on you and your old fam, then its best for everyone for u to obey.

Now, while Miguel does have trouble expressing emotions (i mean, the most affection he's shown is head pats and if u are really really sad, then yes, smooches on the forehead.) but he has no trouble expressing anger and rage. If u mess up real bad, in the sense where u disobey him and end up hurting yourself (no matter to what degree), GIRL HE IS SCREAMING HIS HEAD OFF AT YOU (like the scene from the movie where he's yelling at miles). I mean, he's so mad, he legit picks you up and hauls you to your room, where he's yelling at u even more, using the terms "child" "kid" and patronising tone because you may think you're a grown up (u might even be) but he will ALWAYS view u as a kid- THE KID he lost, the child he promised to protect and somehow get redemption, or at the very least, fill the empty hole in his heart.

And since nobody thought to inform me that my man Miguel is a literal VAMPIRE and that his fangs are not just for show to attract all kinds of viewrs, we gonna talk about that as well. Does he use them on reader when she finds out that Miguel actually fucking murdered her real fam (maybe not directly kill them, because he is a hero after all. Maybe in the sense that he knew they were gonna die, you would too unless he took u away, he just didnt bother calculating the repercussions if he did indeed save your family.) and reader is now hyperventilating and trying to claw her way out of his arms but muscled arms only pull u tighter against his chest and he just bites ur neck to let the venom paralyse you long enough for him to not only offer an explanation for his actions, but also put a tracker in you and chain u to your bed.

Does Miguel's heart absolutely shatter at your body wracking sobs and distressed state as you realise you have lost your family? Yes. Does he apologise? Never. Does he like seeing you in pain? NO. Will he cause you even more pain? ...yes, if circumstances change.

Hurting you is the last the thing he's do, but its still something he would do. He wont enjoy it, but if u messed up real bad (escaped and endangered yourself) then Miguel, with a very heavy heart will snap your ankles and limit your ability to walk for months (if not for life). This is one of his harshest punishments, and punishments are immeadiately followed with comfort, so Miguel does put your fractured bones in a cast and wipes the tears from his eyes, shushing you gently as he softly explains why he did what he did, how you dont need to worry about anything because since you took your punishment so well, Miguel will help you (he will carry you around everywhere), and maybe if you're in too much pain, he may give you some drugs(or even his venom) to put you to sleep right away.

He has lost too much, too many times. His wounds are deep and still fresh, he is not taking any chances... especially not with you.

okay thats all i have for now(its a lie, i just need to pee) but feel free to send in ur asks/thoughts/scenarios.

[livwritesstuff]

for @steddie-week day 7 (a day late bc sunday errands got a lil out of control)

this is a sneak peek of an upcoming fic (vibe is slow burn TV co-stars Steddie feat. denial of feelings, a betrayal, and chaotic misuse of social media) and I am Very Excited (that being said pls don't ask about a timeline bc I don't have a clue 😅)

tags: modern day, famous au, actor!steve, actor/singer!eddie, pre-relationship, fake dating (kind of)

The real point of no return in all this, Eddie knows, was the call with PR.

It – as in, having a little fun with the ridiculous dating rumors about him and Steve that had started floating around early on during the press tour for the TV show they'd filmed together last year – was all just a fun little joke until he woke up to a GCal invite in his inbox from the studio’s PR team and ended up on a thirty minute call where a bunch of random suits with fake-ass smiles laughed and said wouldn’t it be funny – wouldn’t it be a goddamn laugh-riot – if you guys played into the rumors? Just for the press tour?

(Just while we can profit off it?)

Yeah. Eddie knows the real motive here but his sense of self-preservation is, like, broken or something (defective at the very least) and he’s always down for a spectacle, so the second he sees Steve nodding his agreement, he agrees too.

It takes less than an hour for PR to send out an updated press schedule, one that now had Eddie paired with Steve at basically every opportunity, which…Eddie feels torn two ways about because, like, it’s an ensemble show. He’d actually really like to do some of this press stuff with Robin and Nancy too. On the other hand, all jokes aside, Eddie does have a pretty pathetic crush on Steve Harrington, so he sort of wants to clock all the hours with him as he can before the show comes out and all this comes to an end, when their paths will separate once again and remain that way probably forever (or until the show gets renewed for a second season, but that’ll be up in the air for a while).

And yes, Eddie sees the irony in the situation. Look – it’s not like he wanted to have a crush on this guy.

Their characters are practically brothers, and Eddie had been on enough sets to know that coming off a project even just being friends with castmates isn’t a walk in the park in and of itself.

Sure, Harrington’s cute – Eddie had noticed it the second they met, but he’d noticed it in kind of a clinical, detached way, like how he could hold an opinion on how good-looking one girl is from the next even if it didn’t do anything for him. He knew that Steve’s a good-looking dude, but more importantly, he’s an honest-to-god good person. Eddie wasn’t even thinking about being anything other than Steve’s friend because he could recognize the kind of privilege that alone is.

So, yeah. No crush on Steve Harrington in sight – not in the beginning, anyway, and not during the entire filming process. Then they started to film all the promo material, and the press tour had kicked off with an eight hour press junket, and after that very first interview (a fifteen minute sit-down with an entertainment talk show), Eddie had turned and asked Steve if he’d fucked up at all (because this is first time on a project big enough to have a real press tour and, seriously, he had no goddamn context for how any of this shit was supposed to go). Steve had just smiled and kicked his ankle and told him he did good and to stop worrying.

And something about that – the little kick to his ankle – had Eddie’s heart turning over like he was part of those trashy romance novels he outright refused to pick up (even though he’d put in a fair bit of time ogling the men on the covers as a horny, closeted teenager).

Oh, fuck, he’d remembered thinking.

Stop it, he’d tried to tell his heart or his brain or whoever else could be responsible for the feelings that were creeping in.

But it was already too late.

It only took a couple hours after the call with PR for Eddie to wonder if he might have made a mistake.

“You sure you’re okay with this?” Eddie asked after scrolling through a thread of comments on a clip of an interview that made its way over to TikTok (the thread started with i’ve never seen steve look at anyone like that before and he stopped scrolling after won’t waste my time watching now with an anxious feeling swirling in his gut).

“Huh?” Steve blinked at him.

“I mean,” he paused, “Not every straight guy would be cool with the whole world thinking there’s something going on between him and his gay coworker.”

And Steve had merely shrugged.

“I really don’t think the whole world is tuning into the press tour for some nerdy doomsday show,” he had replied, and then he’d added, “And whoever said I’m straight?”

As if that hadn’t blown Eddie’s whole goddamn mind.

So…fuck it. What’s the worst that could happen?

[oliveisme533]

My dad’s neighbor is a dilf

Chapter 1

Joel Miller x you

Summery: You had decided to spend your summer in Austin with your dad. You used to spend almost every summer there, but hadn't spent a summer there since you were a teenager. Which means you hadn't seen a certain Joel Miller in years..

You were a teacher so the summer months were nice and slow. As you packet your suitcase, you thought back to the phone call with your dad just a few weeks prior. "Hey babygirl, why don't you come on down to Austin for the summer? I know your roommate has been driving you a little crazy lately...wouldn't hurt to get a break ya know? Plus I miss you sweetheart... would love to see you"

You smiled at the memory of his words. He was right about your roommate being annoying lately. Nothing crazy...just normal roommate things. But most of all you missed your dad. Your college summers were all spent with your mom in Boston, so this visit was long overdue.

There airport was fucking packet of course. Airports made you anxious and you always got to your gate a couple hours early for fear of missing your flight. You sent a quick text to your dad letting him know you made it to the airport and would let him know when you safely landed. He loved the message and moments later your phone buzzed again.

Venmo: Dad sent you $50 for "Uber 🚗"

Your dad definitely did well for himself, He was a financial consultant and never missed out on an opportunity to splurge on you and your sister. You knew you wouldn't be swiping your card a single time once you stepped foot in his house for the summer, and you weren't complaining...teachers don't exactly make a ton of money. There was one thing nagging at the back of your mind that you hadn't let yourself think about until now. You always had kind of a girlish crush on your dad's friend and neighbor. You hadn't seen him in years and you wanted to believe he could find you attractive now that you were actually a grown woman. It was a fantasy you know would never come true even in your wildest dreams, but it was still fun to think about from time to time. You put your headphones and closed out the world.

You smiled as the warm air hit your skin as you walked across the tarmac with one hand shading your eyes from the Texas sun. Austin was where you spent your childhood. Before their divorce, your parents had brought you and your sister into a comfortable lifestyle that you were forever grateful for. Your mom headed to Boston after the divorce, you and your older sister followed suit, but Texas never stoped feeling like home. "Uber for y/n?" You slumped down into the air conditioned car with a sigh of relief. "Yes." You looked out the window as the familiar scene flew by. By the time the car turned into your neighborhood your mind had drifted far from Boston. Your stomach lurched slightly as you passed Mr. Millers house. His truck was in the driveway. You remembered a recent phone conversation with your dad where he mentioned Mr. Miller having kind of a hard time spending his first summer without his daughter Sarah. She was with her mom for the summer, a new arrangement you were pretty sure. Maybe you would go and visit him. He was the kind of family friend that had a key to your dad's house . What if he didn't remember you? You were being stupid. Mr. Miller didn't need to entertain a 20 some year old girl. He had friends his own age, a life, and for all you knew maybe a girlfriend. You brushed the idea off as the car slowed in-front of your dad's house.

Your key clicked in the door and you were promptly greeted by Lea, your dad's new kitten. Your sister and you joked that this was his first symptom of his mid life crises. The second being the fact that he now had a girlfriend. You flung your suitcase aside and sunk into the window seat of your bedroom. You have many memories of a younger version of yourself sitting here in the summer days, reading or just watching. In the evenings you were too busy sneaking out the back gate to do such things. You smile as you recall your reckless, teenage activities. You sigh and look down at your watch. Your dad won't be home for a couple more hours. A nap probably would serve you well. Before you get up, you feel your phone buzz again. It's your dad.

"Hey sweetheart I see you made it to the house. I completely forgot Joel said he was picking up some tools I borrowed from him last week. He knows the garage code, but didn't want you to be alarmed if he's there before I get home. See you soon xx"

You found yourself staring at the text... would Mr. Miller ...Joel, you correct yourself, would he even remember me? In the spirit of southern hospitality you decide to get dressed in something that does smell like the airport and go downstairs when you hear the garage opening. You walk through the front door and out towards the driveway where Joel is loading some tools in the back of his pick up truck. He glances up at you and a wide smile forms across his face. "Well hey!" He says. "Your dad told me you were coming in... welcome home!" The words warm your heart. This was home for sure. "Thanks, I'm glad to be back. Even just for the summer!" God his arms look good in that t-shirt... "well I know your old man is happy you're here. Hasn't shut up about you comin' for the last few weeks. 'Course I get it, countin' down the days 'till Sarah gets back myself." You giggle at the comment of your dad's excitement about your arrival. "Yeah dad told me she's with her mom for the summer right?" Joel nods closing the back of the pick up. "Yeah that's right." You noted a twinge of sadness in his voice. "I'm sorry I'm sure that's hard...I mean I know she loves being with her mom and you too. Of course she'll be back for school in the fall, but still I'm sure the summer feels different with out her. I'm not a parent though so I really have no idea what I'm talking about." You fumbled through this response and ended with a nervous laugh. Joel didn't mind. He looked at you with those fucking puppy dog eyes that could make you melt. He laughed too you were pretty sure the laugh was more at you than with you, but you kind of deserved it you figured. "You're sweet, yeah she's having a blast with her mom and that's all that really matters. Your dad has been putting up with me a lot. With an empty and quiet house it's just not the same, and he's been havin' me over lots" "Well I'm sure he appreciates the company too" you couldn't help but feel a little guilt that you had possibly made your dad feel the same emotions as Joel. "Well I gotta run, but I'm sure I'll be seein' you around. Good to see ya Darlin'" you waved as he pulled out of your driveway, grateful that he was probably too far away to see the blush on your cheeks.

The next few days went by with not much to remark on. On Friday your dad mentioned that Joel would be coming over for dinner tomorrow. You told yourself it was time to act like an adult and put this girlish crush out of your mind. Joel was at least 10 years your senior and he was a close friend of your dad, In fact these fantasies are simply degrading to him or disrespectful. You're not sure of the right word, but he's a person with a life and feelings and things he's going through. To make him the object of your fantasies was wrong, you decided.

Saturday evening came around and your dad was in the back grilling and playing his country music on the speaker you had gifted him last Christmas. There was a knock and the door and the sound of Joel's voice echoing through the entry way. You didn't bother coming out of the kitchen, knowing he would come to you. Your back was turned, focusing on the sangria recipe you were sure wouldn't turn out the way you wanted. "My dad's outback." You said gesturing to the back door. " I'm sorry, where are my manners!" You turned to open the fridge and pull out beer for Joel. "You ain't gotta make a fuss darlin' is just me" Joel chuckled. You wished he would stop calling you that, but you also hoped he never would. Joel y through the utensil draw to find the bottle opener. He asked about your day and you asked about his. "I can't get over how much you've grown up" he said at one point. "Yeah o guess the last time you would have seen me I was a lanky teenager with braces" you laughed and so did he. "I think you're right... if I recall you were just about the death of your old man when you were that age." You shrugged. "Yup that's about right. I had a nack for getting into trouble." He laughed that wonderful deep laugh and said "well you turned out alright, kid"

The rest of the evening you debated whether Joel saw you more as a grown woman or a kid. He had referred to you as both in a matter of minutes...so which was it? "What's on your mind kiddo?" Your dad's voice snapped you back to reality. "Oh ..um, nothing honestly. I'm just kind of tired today for some reason." You were both in the kitchen, Joel was still in the back yard getting ready to light a cigar. "Baby why don't you go upstairs and rest. I'll make sure to kick Mr. Miller here out if we get to rowdy." He said that last part loud enough for Joel to hear. "Dad jokes.." you mutter to yourself as you climb the stairs to the second floor of the house. Your bedroom is on the front end of the house, so by they time you get there, no noise from your dad and Joel can be heard. The sound of the shower in the bathroom drowned out the noise of your phone buzzing on your nightstand. When you exited the shower there was a missed call from "Ben" Ben Sinclair was your on again, off again boyfriend for the last 4 ish years. This time you were done. You had been broken up for a month this time and you told him (in no uncertain terms!) this was it. So what could he possibly want tonight...

[yandere-sins]

Ya playinnnnn DOL? Ashhshshshs

What do you think of the shady bastards of the town? Like Bailey, Remy, Briar… Wren, Avery~

Yessssss, thank you so much for asking me about them ♥ DoL is currently helping me through my depression phase, lol!

To be fair, I somehow managed to avoid Wren until now, idk how, but they probably weren't relevant in my playthroughs, lol. Can't say much about them, though! That said, I like all the characters in the game, but I do have some thoughts and feelings about them, I hope I get to write some in the future!!

So, the shadiest PoI in town from most to least favorite for me:

Avery

Love, love, love them! Absolutely always unlock them because... duh!! Good money, too, lol! Jokes aside, I love saving money all week just to dress up for them and play a nice trophy darling at their events! And the hotel room scene? I love it! And they are always so happy when you impress them with dancing or your English, and I'll be happy to play along with them. Yes, of course, my love, anything you say, my love (and anything you pay for, lol)! I think their title is such a farce; they are probably a trust fund kid, let's be honest, but I'm not complaining, lol! I have seen almost all of their events by now, and I am really looking forward to how their storylines will continue in the future since there's so much still unexplained and baffling, but I'll keep dating them; they are absolutely my favorite, and one of the few PoI that seem to actually care about you despite being fishy.

Harper

Listen, I got sent to the Asylum only once, and I've been avoiding it like the plague ever since. But I found myself quite intrigued with Harper afterward. What is their motive? Why are they doing what they are doing? Is it just scientific interest? Their encounters say otherwise, especially those at the check-up and underground farm! I know there must be more behind this doctor, and I need to find out, no matter what! They really have the "innocent" look down to a T, and then you land in the Asylum or the underground farm, and BOOM! Scumbag! Either way, good character, very fishy person, and the questions are eating me alive.

Briar

Oh, I hate them! But I love them. But I hate them. This could go on forever. Look, they are helpful. They have a good purpose if you want that fake ID. And you can make very good money relatively early on with Briar's help. But no matter how hard I try, raising their love is so damn hard I always give up. The opportunities are too small, and then you sign up for a show and get kidnapped or something, and they'll be so mad again. Also, it feels like you can do nothing without their permission, and it's annoying (kinda possessive, eh?). I just wanted to see Landry, why am I getting kidnapped in broad daylight from the Pub??? (I have not forgiven Briar for that, it really hurt my ego!) However, with Briar, there's a lot to do at least, and they possibly play a lot of roles in your daily life in DoL, and that's why I think they are quite entertaining, but I wish we could do more with them.

Leighton & Quinn

I didn't mind them a lot until I saw their endings for the Avery Event, where you are invited to poker night, and they intrigued me! Since then, I have gotten pretty close to Leighton, doing both the Blackmail Leighton and Get Blackmailed by Leighton events, and I have unlocked the archeology site with Quinn. They are both ultimately really fucking shady, but much like with Avery, there is still so much unexplained (although hinted at), and I wish we could have more interactions with them (and maybe actually make a change, like when we blackmail Leighton or rat them out to the police that it actually has consequences and punishments). So yeah, not my favorite PoI, but I am still really invested in them.

Bailey

Honestly, Bailey is pretty unlikeable. I hate how they want 4k every week; I mean, it's easier in the later game, but man, I'm trying to save to renovate a fucking farm; cut me some SLACK. (Also, can they stop dropping hope in the orphanage all the time?? I am working so hard to build it up!!!) Then again, Bailey saved me a few times from events, and I felt really thankful for that. There's so much going on with them. I hope we can build a relationship that will lead to better co-existence or partnership with them in the future. I feel like they could become a more important role with more direct events in the future. Still, their personality is, yeah, unlikeable and the scummiest of them all, really. Probably feels like that since you really can't escape them either without harsh consequences, so yeah. It's complicated.

Remy

In the beginning, I really liked Remy. Liked visiting the Ranch and riding horses, I thought they were pretty nice. Then I passed out in the moor, and ever since then… they've become really dull. It feels like they are one of the more involved PoI, at least, but the interactions and all just became so repetitive with them that it's no fun anymore. I'd like to know more about their involvement in these strange parties you can go to with Avery and what that's all about, but otherwise, I just try to avoid them these days. I already escaped 3 times from the farm, and although the game isn't programmed like that, I feel like there's no coming back from it for our relationship, lol. Maybe in the future again, hahaha.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Hiii! May I, please, request the M6 with an MC who doesn’t show a lot of emotions and is regarded as apathetic by strangers, who actually likes to joke around and shows affection through quality time or acts of service?

Thank you 🫶🫶

The Arcana HCs: When MC comes across colder than they are

~ aww, anon! I had that struggle all through my teens, most of my friends told me they were scared to approach me at first until we actually talked XD I hope you enjoy these! - brainrot ~

Julian

Let's get this straight: you're smart, attractive, capable, single, and (seemingly) emotionally distant? Consider him whipped

Does he find you slightly intimidating? yes. Is that intimidation lethally attractive to him? ... also yes. Is this his sign to play off of that detached attitude as the roguish charmer he is? absolutely

So you can imagine his surprise when, as the two of you get closer, you start to show this playful, affectionate side that he never would have guessed at

Now he loves you twice as much as he used to, and he didn't even think that that was possible

Loves it when you spend quality time with him. He's so used to bouncing around the world by himself that having you set aside time to be with him is wonderfully new and fulfilling

Acts of service are nice too, but he gets so flustered and worked up if you don't let him reciprocate. Please let him reciprocate

Loves to tell the story of the cool, ruthless apprentice who stole his heart when he stole into their shop

Asra

They've known you for nine years. They know about your accidentally stand-offish exterior and how nice you actually are once you're comfortable around someone

You're not the only best friend he has who's like that *cough*Muriel*cough*

It does mean a lot to them that you feel comfortable enough around them to be playful and affectionate

It makes you that much sweeter to fall in love with, and that much harder to hide his feelings from

They find it endlessly entertaining to watch person after person approach you thinking that you're aloof, only to find out that you're genuinely kind and caring

He loves spending quality time with you. Lazing upstairs in the afternoon sun, reading a book and daydreaming while you do your thing snuggled next to him? Bliss. Pure bliss

They also appreciate your acts of service, but usually because they're terrible at remembering to do their share of the cleaning (that poor stove salamander really deserves a cleaner wood pile)

Nadia

She's pretty used to having an accurate and in-depth first impression of someone

And yet, despite you coming off as aloof and uninterested, she keeps catching glimpses of this wonderful warmth in your eyes

Color her intrigued

Very honored when you begin to act more casual and playful around her. It means you trust her enough to be yourself

She does feel guilty sometimes that you always manage to make quality time for her, when her schedule is often so hectic that she can't reciprocate to the same extent

However, when she can enjoy quality time with you (and she often does!) she dotes on you endlessly and savors every moment

She didn't expect acts of service from you. She's used to having assistance around the clock, and on top of that she values her independence and a peer-based relationship with you

But when you notice that she's tired, and have breakfast brought to her chambers so that she can sleep in? She's in love. She's so very in love

Muriel

You. He gets you. You are his kind of person

Finally, somebody he doesn't have to explain himself to! Though he still finds it a little disarming that his intimidating presence doesn't deter you from wanting to get to know him better

He knows from his own experience how valuable your trust and affection are, and as much as he hesitates to admit it, it gives him butterflies every time you open up to him a little bit more

Now when Asra forces him to attend a multiperson event, he has company when he stands in the corner and puts off "do not approach" vibes

It also means he has company when he feels safe enough to relax a little bit and enjoy connection with you. He has quality time for you in abundance (unless he's recharging his social battery)

He's also the kind of guy who prefers to let his actions speak for himself, so when you do little things to brighten up his day it means the world to him

You two around strangers + Inanna = peak intimidation tactics

Portia

Portia can get along with anyone if she puts her mind to it. She's not put off by your aura at all

If anything, she mistakes your apathy for mystery:

The powerful magician who calls themself an apprentice that the Countess had clairvoyant dreams about, sailing through the palace like they're untouchable. That's so cool

Very proud of herself when she "unlocks" your relaxed, affectionate, funny side. It means you see her as a worthy partner

She's the kind of person who likes to cram as much into her day as possible, so it takes a small paradigm shift for her to get used to your offers of quality time. She loves it once she does, though

You make her so flustered with your acts of service. She's used to being the person watching everyone's back and making sure things run smoothly behind the scenes

Having that kind of attention turned back in her direction is new and unexpected and more charming than she thought it would be

Likes to use your intimidation in important meetings because she comes off so friendly

Lucio

Right, so you triggered him a little bit at first

You're the first person in three years who can see and interact with him, and no matter what he does he feels like he keeps running into a wall of ice. To say you infuriate him is an understatement

(It doesn't help that you remind him of his mother in that way)

Of course, this only makes him more determined to earn your approval and affection

And he is so gratified when he receives it from you

It's a good thing that you like spending quality time with him, because with all the traveling the two of you do as journeymen there's lots of space for that

He doesn't know to recognize your acts of service until the two of you have to travel separately for a bit, and when he realizes how much you do for him every day he nearly breaks down into Melchior's fur (Mercedes was with you)

He laugh uproariously at all of your jokes, regardless of how good or bad they are

[foursaints]

barty has a certified Evan Kink but what else specifically 👀👀👀

grim made a post here that i agree with & im going to reiterate some of it! but generally my barty is pretty disgusting so i’m putting this under a cut lmao…. Beware..... i know i just said i want my asks to be less horny but im not helping. this is so explicit seriously if you are one of my cool mutuals look away (fern do NOT read this i will be so mad)

prefacing this by saying 😭😭 these are NOT my personal preferences i’m simply huffing the fumes like the oracle at Delphi and divining into his mind. also with evan he gets way more switchy but these are just how i see his usual preferences in general 

24/7 power play (as grim said) and free use. barty gets off on blurring the lines between kink and reality and having complete control over his partner sexually but he does it in a sort of irreverent, half-joking-but-not-really-joking way. he’ll casually make his partner lick his boot and he’ll laugh and pat them on the head and get up to go make dinner. bend them over while they’re doing dishes because He Can Have Them Any Time & not let them finish because it’s his decision. that sort of thing

(but u have to put it in context like outside the bedroom that man is SO whipped. he’s calling evan his brainless fuckdoll but he’s also walking 4 miles in the snow to get him the specific type of croissant he wants)

to me there’s a major incongruity between barty’s fantasies and his actual preferences. he jerks off to the idea of keeping his partner collared & silent & pretty & obedient and dolled up and sat quietly on a pillow all day waiting to please him. but he would hate that irl and in reality he LOVES evan’s bitching and bossing him around. its so much more fun

FAKE KIDNAPPING (as grim said). SO REAL! HE IS THE KIDNAPPER! IN A SKI MASK! 

in general my barty is concerningly into cnc but only if its super negotiated and desired. hes checking in beforehand and throughout 800x but like? with evan? they are going the whole nine yards. he wants to pin him down and Take Him while he screams and struggles and cries and fails to fight him off 

while barty is cooing and salivating over him and petting his hair and licking his tears and mockingly telling him how sweet & weak he is and how perfectly evan takes him. btw

overstimulation. both giving and receiving. 

he’ll make his partner get off like eight times daily because he finds overstim entertaining. like he’s not even getting anything out of it at this point. just whenever he’s bored he’ll sit his partner on his knee for the third time that day and play with them until they cry while he scrolls his phone 

this next one shows up mostly in his dirty talk and his habit of manhandling but like? objectification? but in the weird possessive sense of “wow you are so perfect and pretty it’s like you’re a cute little toy that exists Just For Me” <- that type of vibe. he chooses to believe you were Invented to Be Fucked By Him

and his dirty talk is so meeeaaaan like he could be doing the most depraved thing ever and speaking in a casual tone of voice like he's making small talk. he's very condescending and asks a lot of demeaning questions and will laugh. he likes to see evan get angry and embarrassed and make him repeat filthy stuff

not really a kink bc i don’t think it’s something he seeks out or even thinks about much. but when he discovers evan rosier is a virgin he 100% gets SOOO weird and insane about it. bro is FROTHING 

but aside from all of that. he loves giving himself up to evan completely and service top barty is Real. that’s an entirely different rodeo with its own set of… fucking… rodeo clowns? lassos? 20-page long notarized consent forms? this is an untenable metaphor. but anyway i also like to believe that rosekiller has very loving vanilla dynamic-less sex too because im a romantic like that. and also because they are soulmates

he’s SO awful but. you know. i love him anyway