#all jokes aside continuing to hope he gets well soon :)

[lynxgriffin]

Eldritchrune - Dreemurr of Jokes

1 | 2 | 3

Story Setup Eldritchrune Masterpost

Toriel stops by Sans' shop for some goods, and for some more cheery distractions! Unfortunately, all this time later, it's still too difficult to escape reminders of what's been done.

It was fun finally getting to do some stuff with Sans in this universe! The last part for this trio of scenes will be up sometime next week!

Alt text for these pages is under the read more:

Page 1 Panel 1: Interior shot of a small store, with displays of goods, loose plywood, sacks of things. Two circular woven hangings bracket the door through which Toriel enters, a heavyset woman in a polka-dotted dress with a basket over her arm. Sans watches her enter, though we see only the back of his head. 

Panel 2: Toriel enters the shop and we see more displays, mostly food. There are large potted trees as well, and the shop’s counter, draped in patterned cloth and decorated with candles. Toriel: “Well, hello again. I was wondering if you had-” Sans, a jovial, bearded man dressed in loose robes and always smiling, waves a hand and cuts her off. “Hold on, you hear that?”

Panel 3: “...Hear what?” Toriel asks, nonplussed. Up close, her face is soft but distressed.

Panel 4: Sans leans over his slightly messy counter, still grinning. “I HERB that you needed some more cinnamon cloves, and look what I have here!” He offers a handful of herbs. Up close, the cuffs on his robe sleeves are patterned with little bones.  

Panel 5: “Just what I needed! How did you guess?” Toriel exclaims, reaching out with a real smile to accept the herbs. She and Sans are framed by other mysterious shop wares- jars of things, open sacks, rolled-up mats. Things you might find in an open-air desert market. 

Page 2 Panel 1: Sans: “Was just thinking it’d been awhile since I saw you making the neighborhood rounds with some of those pies of yours… Figured you were planning to start this month’s soon!” Sans gestures up at Toriel in explanation. 

Panel 2: Toriel smirks, setting down a handful of coins.  “And perhaps hoping that I would stop by your place first with them?” Sans: “I pride myself on my forward thinking, y’know.” His grin is conspiratorial as he leans towards her and he taps his temple with one finger. 

Panel 3: Toriel, eyes sad despite her smile: “All right. How about this: Tell me a good joke, and you have my word you will have the first and freshest one.”

Panel 4: Sans: “Just a good joke?” He raises an eyebrow. 

Panel 5: Toriel clutches her chest- we don’t see her eyes. “I find myself in desperate need of levity these days.” 

Panel 6: Sans waves his hand as if to keep her from feeling like she need say more, scratching his chin in thought with the other.  “Sure, I got one…” 

Page 3 Panel 1: Sans, with the smug grin of someone about to tell a terrible pun: “Why was the empire soldier happy to get demoted to horse groomer?” Toriel, with her hand on her chin in thought: “I do not know, why?” 

Panel 2: Sans shrugs widely like the answer is obvious. “Because he finally had STABLE employment!” 

Panel 3: Toriel laughs in genuine delight, although maybe a little harder than expected. 

Panel 4: Toriel: “Thank you, I needed that.” She smiles a relieved little smile. Sans: “No problem. So hey, aside from the pie… Can I maybe get an invite to those little get-togethers I see some folks around here doing once a month?” He steeples his fingertips together. 

Panel 5: San’s dialogue continues: “I’m so curious as to what goes on then!” We only see Toriel, though, shocked and dismayed. She’s thinking of the Ritual gatherings- townspeople gathered in their robes and animal masks- reindeer, fish, but most centrally, the goat masks she and Asgore wear. 

Panel 6: Toriel: “Unless you are completely enraptured by tedious talk of planting schedules and building repairs, I believe I can sate your curiosity by saying you would find them quite boring.” She waves a hand in front of her, dismissing the thought- her expression is once again drawn and weary. 

Page 4 Panel 1: Toriel turns to leave, waving goodbye. “You should look forward to your well-earned pie more!” 

Panel 2: Sans gives her a slightly skeptical look. “Alright.” is all he says. 

Panel 3: As she leaves, Toriel looks down and sees for the first time a small statue set by the door, surrounded by candles- it’s not a merchandise display, more like an altar. The statue is a horned figure holding a bowl filled with greenery- an offering of some type. The figure is rounded like a sitting child, and simple, with closed eyes and little other detail. 

Panel 4: Toriel’s dialogue over a close up shot of the figure: “What an interesting little figure you have. It does not look like it is for sale, is it?” The little horned one has three toes and four fingers on its stubby little arms and legs, and a detail on its forehead that could be a suggestion of hair, or it could be a symbol. The pillar candles surrounding it have been burned enough to have long wax drips pooled around them. 

Panel 5: Sans: “Nah, that’s just a holdover from my home country. Supposed to help keep demons out of your space.” He seems uninterested in this bit of lore, but Toriel, still facing away, is wide-eyed and shaken.

Panel 6: Toriel whirls back to him, sweating. “I-Is that so?” 

Panel 7: Sans’s expression intensifies, eyebrows dropping dramatically. “Sure thing. You know what happens when demons get in your grain stores?” 

Page 5 Panel 1: “They’re OATsolutely RYE-ined!” Sans holds his hands wide, like he’s waiting for the rimshot effect. It’s almost like his shop counter and back wall are suddenly a stage. 

Panel 2: Toriel hides a giggle behind her hand, relieved. 

Panel 3: “Is that something you have had to deal with previously?” she asks, stepping a little closer in her interest. Sans makes a slight gesture of dismissal. “Nah, I don’t really go in for that sort of stuff, honestly.”

Panel 4: Sans: “My brother, though… He’s all in on charms and wards and that sort of thing.” He gestures up, as if to point to wherever it is in the town that his brother might be now. 

Panel 5: “Keeping customs from your home country, I suppose?” Toriel asks, drawn again into the shop and closer to Sans. “Something like that,” he responds, leaning forward on his counter. On the wall next to him, there’s another woven wall hanging like the ones over the door.  Toriel: “Do you have any customs that have a reverse effect?” 

Panel 6: Sans looks as skeptical as one can while constantly grinning. “You mean like, if you want demons in your house?” 

Page 6 Panel 1: Toriel puts a hand up in denial. “N-No, that would obviously be undesirable! I meant more… just out of curiosity about your home.” 

Panel 2: Sans stares up at her, for a beat of silence. 

Panel 3: “Maybe? Again, this stuff isn’t my thing.” He leans back in his chair with his hands behind his head, nonchalant as can be. “And anyways, we left our country for a reason. Old customs aren’t relevant in this town, y’know?” 

Panel 4: Toriel once again turns to go, with a rueful smile. “Maybe not… but I cannot imagine letting go of your entire history.”

Panel 5: Sans shrugs and looks away. “There’s worse things to let go of, honestly.” 

Panel 6: Toriel, gritting her teeth, thinks of a happier time tucking Kris into bed. 

Panel 7: Close on Toriel’s expression, now more haggard and pained than it was when she came in. She clutches her chest tight. 

[obsessivestar]

'What If It's All A RomCom?' - a Ted Nivison x Reader.

{{-Story Description: You're a youtuber with a fairly decent following deciding to help your good friend Tanner with a minor film project, with you set as the leading lady. When the actor for the male lead is a no show, Ted takes up the role himself. One problem: This short film's a Rom Com, and you just met the guy.-}}

//18+, Def gonna be some smut. Reader is implied to be afab, under 5'5 and has specifically named friends, all who have no real connection to Ted.

This story will be in multiple chapters. Also gonna post this on Wattpad and Ao3 (when I figure them out LMAO) under the same username: ObsessiveStarla. Hope you enjoy :^)

Also idk how to do all the fancy Tumblr border stuff so sorry if it's all messy :^(((//

Word count: 2.3k

Chapter 1: No Show, No Movie.

I'm keeping my eye on the road, occasionally glancing at the GPS to make sure I can guide my buddy Tanner as he drives. We had quite an early morning to get to L.A., having been on the road for the last 2 hours to get to this airbnb we'll be staying at. Tanner's nearing the end of film school, so he's getting all his classmates and anyone else that's available and interested to help him with his big final project: A legit short film, filmed, written and directed by him. Having some experience with being on camera myself, he elected to make me part of the main cast. I don't mind at all, if it'll help him out. Even if it's a romantic comedy. I'll kiss some dude, get him that 100%. I'm excited for this.

"Has Conner messaged me at all?" Tanner asks, breaking the last 20 minutes of silence. I quit out of my daydream to check Tanner's messages. Other members of the crew have updated them on their location, including a name I don't recognize, but Conner hasn't responded at all.

"Nope. Mostly everyone else is nearly there though." I responded, lightly shrugging my shoulders. A humorous but knowing smirk creeps along the edges of my lips. "Think he slept in?" "I fucking hope not." Tanner huffs, his tone suggesting he's half-joking. "He is literally /the/ male lead. He's like one of the people I need there the most today."

I put the GPS back up on the screen and lay back against the passenger seat, slightly raising a brow to myself. What would happen if he's late, or doesn't show up at all? Could we even get a replacement in time? We only booked this place for the next couple weeks.

As we get off the highway and get even closer to our destination, I see a notification pop up on Tanner's phone, it's the name I don't recognize. Ted. He's not in our friend group and I don't recall Tanner mentioning him from class.

"Is Ted a new guy?" I ask, turning my head to Tanner. "Oh, no, he's like...a friend of a friend." Tanner pauses before reiterating "He's going to be the editor. He's a youtuber, like you; he went to film school as well."

"Oh. He's like the only name I didn't recognize."

"Yeah, he's a cool guy, no worries, he'll probably be there with me to help with the, yknow, directing too."

There's room for a response, but I don't continue the conversation. We don't have a lot of money to put into this, so that airBnb is also where we'll be filming everything. Most of the film crew and extra actors got their own accommodations elsewhere, but some of us will be staying /at that/ location itself. Wonder if that includes the editor? It'd be weird to share a house with a dude I didn't know, but if Tanner trusts him, I will as well. "I know where to go from here, let everyone know we'll be there soon."

I take Tanner's phone and let everyone know we're close by, including Ted, before setting the phone aside. Tanner pulls into what I thought was a street at first, only to notice its the driveway of the airbnb. Wild how we can't afford multiple sets and hotels, but can afford this villa-like estate for nearly a month. Hey, whatever works, right?

Tanner parks by the many other vehicles and grabs his phone before we both hop out. I can't help but look up at how tall the building is. It looks like one of those frat houses an influencer would own, like if you told me this was owned by fuckin' 'disney channel flow' Team 10, I would 100% believe you.

Tanner and I are greeted by most of the cast and crew as we approach the front door of the house, giving the appropriate hugs and handshakes as we head inside. That's when I spotted a tall man in a dark green sweater fixing up some professional looking cameras, dark hair slicked up to add to his already impressive height, with circular glasses to match the relaxed vibe I'm getting from him. To be fair, he only stands out so much to me because I don't recognize him. This must be Ted.

He looks up from his camera when he spots Tanner and I greeting the other crew members. I casually glance away to one of the pictures on the wall to avoid giving the impression I was staring. I have a habit of fixing my eyes onto people without realizing it.

"Traffic?" Is the first word I hear out of Ted's mouth, directed at Tanner. I don't really know what I was expecting to hear come out of this man, but it certainly wasn't a voice like that. It's strong, deep, almost fake sounding, like he's already playing a character, but no, that's just him.

"Dude, we passed by, like, 3 accidents" Tanner shakes his head slightly, putting his hands on his hips. "And Conner hasn't even gotten back to me, It's been an interesting morning."

As they have their conversation, my thoughts turn to a more curious nature as I contemplate what this guy actually does as a youtuber. If he went to film school as well, does he make long video essays? Commentary, like me?

"This is (Y/N), mine and Joe's friend." My thoughts are cut by the sound of my name, realizing Tanner was introducing me to Ted. Makes sense. We don't know each other. "She's gonna be the female lead."

"Ahhh okay, nice to finally meet you. I'm Ted." Ted personally greets me with a gentle handshake and a winning complexion. I return the handshake with a shy smile. "'Finally'?" I repeat to him, raising a slight brow.

"Yeah! Joe's told me about you, 'said you'd be shorter"

A sudden chuckle escapes me. Joe's my best friend and is part of the wardrobe team, of course he'd say something like that. "He's a dick.." I kid, shaking my head to myself. "You, on the other hand, are a fuckin' giant."

"Oh I know. I have to fuckin' duck down to get into any room upstairs. Tallhood ain't what its cut out to be" We both get a laugh out before Ted returns to setting up the cameras. I notice Tanner checking his phone again, visibly both anxious and frustrated.

"Man." Tanner speaks, seemingly thinking aloud. "Still nothing." "Isn't he the other lead?" Ted speaks as he moves to adjust the stand of one of the lights, glancing up through his round glasses. "I figured he'd be here first."

"He should've been here first." Tanner huffs, masking his clear frustration with a chuckle. "I-I don't know what I'm gonna do if he just doesn't show." "What would we have to do?" I tilt my head at Tanner, feeling a little anxious myself.

"I have no idea, honestly" Tanner responds, shaking his head. "At best, we'd have to find someone to take his place within the next, like, couple days. At worst, I'd have to cancel this whole thing."

I frown, trying to think of some helpful alternative in my head, but nothing comes up. I'd hate for everyone to have to go home, and getting the money back for the airbnb would be a hassle. We all pitched in for this place. As much as I've joked about it, it's pretty nice. 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, half the place is a giant living room and there's even more outside. I'd hate to leave without getting to sleep in one of those giant beds. All I can do is hope for the best, I guess.

About an hour passes. At this point, everyone except Conner has shown up on set and most of us that will be on camera are fitted and ready. We had already read through the entire script together over Discord prior to getting here, so all we need to do is just start filming.

I'm refreshing my memory with the script when I hear a notification ping from Tanner's phone. It takes him less than a second to pick it up and look at the message, pausing to read it. I see his expression go from relief to uneasy, his thumbs tapping on his phone's keyboard louder than usual as he responds before setting his phone down and taking a deep breath.

"Conner can't make it."

Silence fills the room for a moment as everyone looks up from their tasks. I approach Tanner, script still on hand.

"What? What does he mean he can't make it?" I asked, honestly shocked with what I was hearing. "So, yknow how he's just...not been responding since we left?" Tanner asks, looking understandably annoyed.

"Yeah?"

"Apparently he ate some bad food last night and has been throwing up since 4am. We left at 5."

The only thing I can do is run my fingers through my hair in frustration. Dude probably ordered bad chicken or something. Of course. "So our main dude, THE male leading role or whatever, has food poisoning." I say that as a statement, but I'm honestly just so confused, I don't want to believe it. "What do we do now? Could we hire someone else in time?" "Even if we could, we wouldn't have time to get the chemistry built up between you two." Tanner shrugs. "There'd be no way of knowing if it'll work out."

"I'll do it."

Tanner and I turn our heads to Ted, who's joined in on the conversation shortly after assembling the last light. My first instinct is to let out a sigh of relief, but I steel myself, trying to really process what he's offering.

"You? You wanna be the male lead?" Tanner points at Ted, rather surprised he'd offer. Ted seemed to laugh at the expression on Tanner's face "What's that fuckin' look for? You think I can't be romantic, Tanner?" "No--" Tanner cackles, putting his palms up defensively as he laughed. "That's not it! I just-- you haven't read the script, and, yknow..." Tanner pauses, shrugging his shoulders and tilting his head in my direction. "You two just met, you'll have to, yknow--"

"'Yknow? Yknow?' I KNOW, Tanner. I. know." Ted begins to mock Tanner in a friendly manner while pointing at himself, his strong voice easily overpowering Tanner's timid tone. "I've been doin' this since you were in little baby diapers, alright? I can read the script, I can kiss the pretty lady, I got this!"

I suddenly feel a whole lot warmer, resisting the urge to put a hand to my cheek. I mean, I have blush on already, but now I'm definitely blushing. I'll have to kiss this guy?

I mean.

That ain't a bad thing.

That's a nice lookin' dude. I'd be blind not to see it.

But I did just meet him.

"I mean...." Tanner seems to be at a loss for words, glancing in my direction once more. I realize I've been one of the main talking pieces of this conversation, yet I haven't spoken a word. "Ah--I.." I stammer out what was meant to be a coherent response, realizing I'm a bit more sheepish about this than I thought I'd be. He called me pretty. I...don't know what to do with that. I can handle a compliment, sure, but this was...

"Hey, sorry, I don't wanna step over any lines..." Ted's smile faded after my lack of a response, resting his hands behind his back. "Oh no! I-I wouldn't mind it at all." I finally managed to speak up. I swear, I felt like a bashful damsel in those old transatlantic-accent films. "I mean, like, better this than sending everyone packing early, right?"

"Real flattering." Ted responded with a renewed smile and a chuckle, getting another sheepish blush from me. "Whatever works for everyone, I'm down for it."

Based on Tanner's knowing expression, I can tell he gathered something of use from whatever that exchange was. "I mean..." Tanner repeats again, as if to remind us he's also there with filler words before taking in a sharp breath of realization, or maybe it was one of acceptance, I couldn't tell. Either way, he had an idea. "OK, how about this: most of the crew didn't get breakfast on the way up here and we're all gettin' pretty hungry, we could use some caffeine. How about you two head back out and get everyone something from Dunkin' or wherever? Get talkin', see if it works."

"You setting us up on a breakfast run, or a date?" I collect myself fast enough to make a joke, actually getting a decent chuckle out of Ted. Part of me couldn't believe I had even made that joke aloud, I was also kind of genuinely asking. "I am testing the chemistry." Tanner clarified slowly with a half smile. "And I...don't want to do it myself."

Ted and I look at each other, giving me a brief moment to realize Ted's eyes are brown. Don't know why I've chosen to collect that information now. Just another observation I've made for the day.

...Man, I'm hungry.

"Alright, but I'm not driving your car." I agree with a shrug. "No need, I got my Tacoma." Ted responds, making a clicking noise with his mouth and gesturing me to follow him outside.

"You...have your city in Washington?" I ask genuinely, getting another laugh out of him, not intentionally this time. "Toyota Tacoma. My truck." He corrects me, guiding me to an old dark green pick-up truck. "I've had this baby since high school. Graduated with it."

"Ahh, your high school sweetheart. Lovely. Happy to meet her."

"Fuck off" Ted jokingly scoffs, hopping into the drivers seat. I have this big grin on my face as I get into the passenger side. He's giving me this...oddly comforting vibe. I can talk and joke with this guy so naturally, like I've known him for longer than an hour.

Somehow, I get the feeling we'll get along just fine, even if I'll end up having to kiss him once or twice this month....

....That's got me thinking, how many times am I kissing this guy again?

__________________________________

|| Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 (smut) || Chapter 7 || Chapter 8 || Chapter 9 || Chapter 10 (smut) || Chapter 11 || Chapter 12 || Chapter 13 || Chapter 14 (smut) || Chapter 15 ||

[halsteadlover]

Spaces Between Us

*Gif not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Female!Reader.

• Requested: yes by anon.

• Summary: you and Jay break up and it’s the hardest thing you’ve even been through. Is it forever over or will you be able to overcome the difficulties?

• Warnings: LOTS of angst and cursing, use of alcohol, slight mention of blood and dead body (it’s not important for the plot but still), I don’t know if there’s anything else please let me know if I missed any <3

• Word count: 19k. Yeah… I know.

• A/N: I’VE NEVER BEEN SO STRESSED OUT FOR A FIC I SWEAR IT’S LIKE IT HAD TO PAY MY BILLS SO PLS BLOW THIS UP. I’m kidding (no I’m not ) but jokes aside, I hope you’ll like this fic even if still shitting bricks at the thought you’ll gonna hate it 😭 so please let me know what do you think and give me any advice if you want. I’m sorry for any mistakes and just so you know this fic dramatic as fuck lol. I love you all and thank you so much I know nobody is gonna read this, like I haven’t already written enough okay bye ❤️

Anyone who tells you that getting together with your best friend is simple because you know each other very well, don't trust them, it's complete bullshit.

And you had unfortunately learned this the hard way.

You really thought your relationship with Jay would be amazing to say the least, the first few months being pure heaven. You were very happy, you sprayed joy from every pore and anyone who met you could notice the toothy smile you continually had on your face.

You thought you knew Jay perfectly and that he knew you perfectly. After all you had been friends for so many years before getting together which is why you believed you knew everything about him, strengths and weaknesses, and he knew the same about you.

Unfortunately, however, this wasn’t true at all and you soon realized reality was very different from what you thought, being in a relationship with someone was totally different from being their friend. When you’re in a relationship you see that person differently, that person becomes the center of your thoughts, and everything they say and do have a weight on you whether you like it or not, you start to analyze everything with different eyes, you pay more attention to details, and you don't miss things that you wouldn't notice with a friend.

And that was exactly what happened with Jay.

You and him had been together for about six months when you started to notice something that among other things slowly took a big toll on you.

Given the nature of your jobs – him being a detective and you being a firefighter – there were times where you weren't able to spend much time together. He never let a minute pass without sending you a sweet text telling you how much he missed you and how much he wanted to be with you, but when it was time to see each other he sometimes preferred to go to Molly's with his friends.

Of course there was nothing wrong with that and you yourself told him to go, but when you started to notice this happened very frequently, taking time away from the two of you, you started to show him your discomfort.

You never wanted to create arguments, you just tried to communicate with him and express something that was starting to weigh on you but he didn't take it that way and a big argument were created from this. You knew Jay, you knew he was the type of person to keep everything inside, to not express his feelings right away, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt you. He accused you of alienating yourself from him, telling you he’d invite you to go with him when he went to Molly's and you were just being dramatic.

You tried to let it go for the sake of the relationship, trying to swallow the lump and think he wasn't doing it on purpose.

But from this episode everything started to go downhill.

When you were with him at the bar, or somewhere else, with his colleagues or friends you couldn't help but notice the way he and his colleague, Hailey, were particularly close. You tried not to let your mind wander, not to listen to your paranoid thoughts but when all you did was see the way they laughed and joked you couldn't keep the jealousy that gripped your stomach at bay.

You had known her since she joined Intelligence. You always knew they were good friends but since you got with Jay you couldn't help but wonder if their relationship had always been like this or if you saw it differently now just because you were in a relationship with him.

As with everything else, you started asking him questions about her and things like that and he didn't think much of it at first but when he started noticing the insistent way Hailey had become involved in your conversations, it started to bother him.

He had tried to reassure you, to tell you there was nothing going on with her but it wasn't enough, since he said the same thing to you too and yet you ended up together. But other than simple phrases and some sweet words thrown into the wind, he didn't seem to do anything to convince you otherwise.

You had never been the jealous type of person, you both had your own circle of friends, but the way Hailey always seemed to be up his ass, bothered you more than you’d never admit.

One evening, after work, you joined Jay at Molly's where you knew he had met with his colleagues and other friends. A strange sensation gripped your stomach as you tried to convince yourself it was only tiredness but inside you knew what the real reason for that anxiety was.

You hoped until the last minute to not see her there, you knew it was wrong, but you didn't want to be in her presence and you didn't want Jay to be either. But when you entered the bar and from afar you saw him and her sitting at the same table, that hope was destroyed in a second.

Jay looked up from her and immediately saw you walk in and a huge smile spread across his face as he waved his hand towards you. You approached the table, greeting everyone with a smile anyone from a mile away could tell was very fake.

“Hi baby, you're finally here.”

Jay stood up and hugged you tightly to his body. You returned that hug, your heart pounding in your chest even though you couldn't just let yourself go completely.

He let go of you and to your surprise pressed his lips to yours in a sweet, chaste kiss, eliciting a series of small squeals and whistles from the table. You giggled and, cheeks burning, went to sit next to Jay on the chair he had kept free for you.

A small smile – this time sincere – appeared on your lips. Jay wasn't the type of person who made sensational or dramatic gestures, he was a rather private person but when it came to you he didn't care about these things, he was very physical and always needed to have you close, to have a hand on you and feel your warmth in a way or another.

But, let's just face it, you loved that gesture mostly because he did it in front of Hailey and the territorial, irrational part of you was doing backflips.

God I don't recognize myself anymore.

“How was work? Wait, first tell me what you want to drink so I can order it for you,” Jay said immediately, an arm around your waist as he looked at you with a sweet smile on his lips. He didn't let you answer though. “You're so beautiful baby, you know that?”.

You giggled like a schoolgirl – being careful to let everyone hear you – and delicately smacking his chest before awkwardly resting your head on his shoulder, trying to hide the bright blush on your cheeks.

He laughed back and left a kiss on your forehead and that was enough to calm you down, to convince yourself he loved you, that he only wanted you, or else he wouldn't have acted so affectionately in front of her.

“What are you drinking?” You asked, feeling his arm move up from your side around your shoulders.

At that same moment a sudden flash blinded both of you for a second and as you looked up you noticed Adam taking photos of you and Jay with his cell phone with a huge grin plastered on his face.

“Ruzek what the fuck!” Jay exclaimed even though he was actually laughing. He paused and then continued, “Make sure to send us those pics man.”

You burst out laughing and at that same moment, while everyone was joking around and making fun of you and Jay, but you couldn't help but glance at Hailey and notice the way her face was twisted into a serious expression while pretending to play along.

You tried not to think much of it, but it disturbed you, because it was just further evidence she had an interest in Jay that went beyond work.

“So tell me about your day baby,” Jay brought his attention back to you when the others finally decided to give both you and him some spite.

“It went well, we only had one intervention. A man stuck in a car after a car accident,” you sipped some of his beer, earning a fake look of disappointment from him, “Really bad story, but everything went well, he survived and they managed to get him to Med's in time.”

“Just because you were there, love.”

“Kiss-ass,” You rolled your eyes, giggling. “How about you? Something interesting happened?”.

What you didn't expect was for Hailey to answer for him, as if she was listening to your conversation the whole time and was just waiting for the moment to intervene. “Oh my god today was hectic. We busted a drug trade. You should’ve seen it Y/n! Jay faced I don't know how many traffickers alone! Come on Jay, tell her!”.

You tried to keep your expression as neutral as possible as you directed your gaze towards her, noticing the way she suddenly perked up and how she looked at your boyfriend.

Did she seriously intruded while you were only talking to him?

Jay on the other hand didn't notice this attitude and laughed with Hailey as they started joking about what had happened that day. They made jokes, laughed as if it was just the two of them and the way his attention had completely shifted towards her caused you quite a bit of annoyance.

You remained silent as you pretended to listen to what they were saying, trying to bite your tongue and not say anything about the fact she was practically hanging on his lips and licking his ass as she praised him.

This was enough to knock your mood into the ground and throw you back into the spiral of paranoid thoughts you managed to keep at bay for a moment.

You hated the way he joked with her, the way they laughed together. Fuck it, he didn't have to feed her illusion and you couldn't even accept how he couldn't see she was blatantly flirting with him.

Your hands were shaking with anger but you wanted to act like a mature person, you wanted to try to stay calm and not let your emotions get the better of you.

“I think I’ll leave now. Jay, can you give me a ride home please? I didn’t came here with my car”.

What? Did I hear that correctly?

You almost had a heart attack, anger now flowing through your veins.

How could she be so bold? Did she forget you were there too?

“Sure, no problem,” was Jay's response and you almost smashed his head on the table. You looked at him in dismay, now unable to keep calm and act like a mature person.

“Jay do I have to remind you I'm here? You’re really going?” you spoke as he was getting up. He looked at you with an apologetic smile, completely unaware of the fact you were furious. You didn't care if they heard you, you didn't care about making a scene.

“But I'm not leaving baby, I'll just take her home and come right back here.” He pressed a kiss to your lips before leaving the bar with her.

You were so angry you couldn't say anything except watch them from afar.

You couldn't believe it.

This was fucking unbelievable.

You looked from the now closed door to Adam, who was sitting in front of you looking at you with frowning eyes and a surprised and confused expression.

“Wow…” you managed to let out, the humiliation forcing you to run your hands over your face for a moment, elbows resting on the table.

“Hey it's okay, calm down,” he tried to reassure you.

“Adam am I seeing things? Is this just my imagination?” You looked at him, still stunned.

He didn't respond but shook his head slightly, effectively answering your question. “But not from his side,” he pointed out “He only has eyes for you Y/n, believe me, but I can't deny this shit isn’t ridiculous.”

“I'm going home.” You blurted out, standing up and not listening to Adam, and then Kim, who tried to calm you down and convince you to stay.

But you couldn't think straight, not at that moment.

Your boyfriend had left you at a bar to give a ride to the female colleague who was actually crazy about him in a way everyone had noticed except for him, without even trying to ask if you wanted to go too or if it was okay with you.

You were so angry, so furious as you had been a few other times in your life, wanting nothing more than to smash something. You hated her, you hated him, you hated yourself for feeling that way.

You hated everything.

When Jay returned to Molly's after about twenty minutes, confusion appeared on his face as he immediately noticed you were no longer sitting at the table as he expected. He approached his friends, not ignoring the dirty looks they gave him.

“Where is Y/n?”.

Kim glared at him, making no effort to show the irritation towards him. “She's gone.”

“What? Why?”.

“Why? Are you fucking serious Jay?” Adam intervened, causing an even more confused expression to appear on his friend's face. His heart was pounding as he thought of every scenario, thinking you hadn't been feeling well.

“What's going on guys?”.

“You're so damn stupid,” Kevin scolded him, sharing the thoughts of his friends. “That was fucked up man.”

“What part of your brain convinced you that taking another woman – who casually has a crush on you – to her house and leaving your girlfriend here was a good idea? Do you understand how absurd this is? She was more mature than me, I would’ve kicked you in your balls,” Kim continued.

Fucking hell.

He realized he screwed everything up really, really badly this time. Without responding to those words, he immediately ran out of the bar, intending to rush to your house.

That night he tried to apologize and make up for it but you didn't want to talk about it and closed the door in his face when he showed up at your house. You didn't care if you seemed exaggerated, or even crazy, you didn't want to give in and you weren't going to let him disrespect you like that.

You completely ignored him for two days, not responding to any of his calls or texts, still too angry to seek a mature confrontation. When you thought you had calmed down, the memory of Jay leaving the bar with Hailey was enough to make you go back to being even more furious than before.

You understood the problem you had was much deeper than you would’ve ever wanted to admit and what hurt you most was not being understood by him.

You spoke with an open heart, you shouted at him and he understood the mistake he had made, promising you he’d try to fix it and stay away from these situations.

This wasn't the case though, in fact this was just one of numerous arguments you and Jay had over the topic of ‘Hailey’. You didn't feel reassured and his attitude did nothing but fuel your unease, making you feel even crazier than you thought.

On the other hand, you understood he too must have gotten tired of arguing about the same things so this contributed to making your relationship with him deteriorate considerably, the lack of trust he perceived made everything even worse.

The breaking point, however, came one morning and from there nothing was the same as before.

That morning you woke up to Jay's cell phone ringing. You had spent the night before together as he stayed over.

“Jay…” you murmured in your sleep, covering your ears to stop hearing that damn ringing. “Who the hell calls this early?”.

Jay removed the arm wrapped around your hip and let out a groan before propping himself up on his elbow and picking up his cell phone, answering the call without even checking who it was. “Halstead”.

You couldn't hear who it was but you turned to him, now giving him your full attention, wide awake.

“Oh yeah I forgot…” he said, rubbing a hand over his face before taking the cell phone away from his ear for a moment and checking the time “Yeah… I know it’s late. I’ll be there in half an hour. Okay. See you later.”

He ended the call before placing his phone on the nightstand and sighing.

“Who was it?” You asked as he stood up.

“I forgot I have breakfast with Hailey…”

Just hearing that name was enough to make your blood boil.

What the fuck?

You couldn't stand her anymore, why was she always around? Why did she always have to interfere? And why the fuck did Jay always have to run to her?

“Jay are you fucking serious?” You exploded, hair standing on end in anger as you jumped up from the bed.

He picked up his pants from the floor, starting to put them on and button them. “I know baby, but I completely forgot it but it's for work I swear or…”

“Work? What kind of ‘work’ is necessary for you to go have breakfast with her? You really think I'm that stupid Jay?!”

“Of course not! What the hell are you even talking about Y/n? I wouldn't even have told you if I had something to hide!”.

“Do you realize what you're doing? Do you realize how you always run to her every time she calls you?! You were in bed with me just five seconds ago and now you're going to her!”.

“I just told you it's for work! We have to go on an undercover mission and we just need to discuss the details Y/n stop implying things that don’t even exist!”.

You ran your hands over your face, frustrated and angry as ever as you watched him put on the shirt.

“Work doesn't tell you to always be up her ass Jay!”.

He looked at you like you had just grown a second head after hearing one of the craziest things in his life. “What the fuck are you even saying? Do you hear yourself when you talk? You realize how ridiculous that sounds? I don’t care about her why are you saying this?!”.

“And of course I'm ridiculous now, great! My boyfriend gets out of bed to go have breakfast with someone else he knew I fucking despise and I'm ridiculous! I'm fucking tired of this relationship and I'm fucking tired of always having her around Jay what the fuck can’t you understand that?!”.

Your words hit him like a tsunami.

I’m tired of this relationship.

Jay felt a sinking sensation in his chest, as if all the air had suddenly been sucked from his lungs. He was silent for a moment, his jaw clenched as he tried not to let the pain caused by those few simple word overwhelm him.

“You’re tired Y/n? You’re fucking tired?!” He almost shouted. “How the fuck do you think I feel when all we talk about is Hailey? You don't talk about anything else! You don't realize how obsessed you have become!”.

“Don't you dare blame me!” You yelled furiously through clenched teeth, pointing a finger at him as you continued to look at each other as if you were both ready to jump on your necks. Your eyes glare at the other, sending lightning and bolts full of anger and resentment. “We wouldn't be in this fucking situation if you had shown me some respect, if you had set boundaries with her! You seem to care more about her than me! Jesus, you know how all this shit makes me feel, you know how much all of this hurts me but you don't seem to give a fuck!”.

“That’s absolutely unbelievable, I can’t even believe how you’re doubting my feeling for you, how can you say something like that? I only have eyes for you Y/n! The whole world knows it, everyone sees it except you! You’re just choosing to let your weird obsession take over everything else.”

“Maybe you’re just shit at proving it because trust me leaving your fucking girlfriend to go have breakfast with another woman doesn’t seem a great way to show her your love!”

“Are you fucking serious right now?”. He clenched his hands into fists to try to maintain the tiny bit of calm he had left, pressing his nails hard against the skin of his palms to vent his anger.

“Yes Jay, I'm fucking serious!”.

“What the fuck are you doing with me then if that's what you think?! Since apparently I can't give you anything and you’re so fucking ungrateful you can't see the good things I do for you!”.

“What the fuck are you doing Jay huh?! Tell me! Is going to Hailey as soon as she calls you a good thing you do for me? Is this how you do it? Flash news my dear, that's not how this fucking works!”.

“I'm not fucking doing anything that’s the damn point! How the hell am I supposed to tell you she's just a colleague and I don't give a shit about her or anyone else but you! Why the fuck do you have so little faith in me!”.

“Because I don't trust you Jay! You really think an ‘I love you’ thrown in every now and then and a bouquet of flowers will fix everything? No it doesn't work like that, you don't solve the problems by just showing a fake reassurance that only lasts a couple of days!”.

“I will have to model myself for her majesty then, to be at her complete pleasure since…-”

You interrupted him. “For fucks sake Jay stop playing the victim! You don't get to do it, you have no right! You're the one going somewhere else what the fuck do you expect from me? Waiting for you with open arms? I'm not ungrateful, maybe you're just a shitty ass boyfriend who can't show me that he cares about me!” You screamed, throwing out everything you had kept inside for a long, long time, regardless of the destroyed and furious expression with which he was looking at you. “You show no respect for me, for my feelings, you don't give a fuck about what I tell you and that’s not even the first time I’m telling you this! It's not the first time I've told you how much this situation hurts me!”.

“Didn't it cross your mind, Y/n, that maybe you're the fucking problem here? That you're so fucking obsessed with that bitch you can't see anything else? That you're just a fucking child and all you can do is whine and whine and whine! You're making my life a living hell with your luck of trust! Every fucking day is a fight about something! You're always so needy, nothing is ever okay with you! Everything I do is wrong!”.

You took a step back at the sound of those words, as if to create a distance between you two. A pain radiated through your chest as your eyes stung while you continued to look at him. You fought with all your being not to let it go, you refused to cry in front of him.

You had come to the realization that maybe you weren't meant to be together, that taking your friendship to the next step was a mistake, you shouldn't have let your feelings get in the way and in that moment you realized that nothing between you would ever be the same.

You looked at each other, furious, both hurt by the words you had said. You looked at each other as if you didn't know each other, as if you were each other's worst enemy and this broke your heart.

“Get the fuck out of my house.” You ordered in a low, trembling tone, a stark contrast to the screams that had been filling the room just moments before. “It's over.”

Did he hear that right?

It’s over.

He was shocked. Getting hit by a bullet would’ve hurt less. He never once thought in his life that hearing you say those words would hurt so damn much, he actually never thought he’d hear those words at all. He swallowed the lump in his throat, suddenly feeling it close and his breath catch, his eyes filling with tears.

“Get out!” You screamed again, your voice cracking from crying. You turned to the window, hands on your face as you waited for him to leave.

You didn't want to see him anymore.

You didn't want him there anymore.

You jumped when you heard the front door slam shut, making a deafening noise. At that precise moment you felt as if all your strength had abandoned your limbs and you fell to the ground, bringing your legs to your chest and crying like you had never done before.

You tried to think through everything that had happened.

You and Jay broke up.

You couldn't believe it, although you knew that moment would come sooner or later.

You had just broke up with the love of your life and felt like the world was collapsing on you. You never wanted it to come to this, damn it, that man was the most beautiful person you'd ever met, you imagined your whole life with him, how could it all be over? How did you end up like this?

Why couldn’t he understand you? Why didn't he try to do it? Why couldn't he see how much you were hurting and how much it hurt to not see any reassurance from him? After all this was what you wanted, just a little reassurance.

You hated him and you hated yourself because despite everything you would’ve taken a bullet rather than see him suffer but you had reached breaking point, you couldn't continue like that.

You loved him so damn much and hated him with same intensity.

You cried all the tears you had in your body, until it was physically impossible for you to expel any more and you remained in that position, sitting on the ground for a time you couldn't quantify.

However, you knew that unfortunately you couldn't stay there forever and that, despite your broken heart, you had a job to do.

As soon as you set foot in the fire station all your colleagues immediately noticed something was wrong. Your eyes were puffy, visible from a mile away even though you were staring at the ground, your posture tense.

You went to your locker and put down the bag with your things inside it, trying with all your being not to cry again. You were at work, you had to be efficient and personal problems had to be left out.

“Y/n, honey, are you okay?” Stella's voice caught your attention but you didn't look at her, you couldn't do it or you would’ve collapsed. You were holding on to the only bit of strength you had to keep from bursting into tears.

“I’m fine.“

“It doesn't seem like it…”

“I'm fine dammit!” You exclaimed loudly, slamming your locker shut and making her jump in fright. You looked at her and a wave of guilt washed over you. “I'm sorry Stel-…” your voice broke as you burst into tears, covering your face with your hands so she wouldn't look at you.

She immediately hugged you and you cried in her arms as she held you and reassured you with all the warmth and affection she had. “Oh darling it's okay, you're not alone, everything will be okay.” She caressed your back and then your hair, while you let yourself go for the second time in less than an hour into one of the most desperate cry of your existence.

Your heart felt torn, completely shattered, as if they had taken it from your chest with their bare hands and dug their nails into it.

“It's okay, I'm here with you, cry as long as you want.”

You had an abyss inside, a storm that was overwhelming you painfully like you never thought it was possible. You didn't believe it was possible to feel such pain, you didn't believe you could even think of suffocating.

And if you were desperate, Jay had reacted in a totally different way.

He was furious.

So angry.

He had never felt something like this, he thought he might explode with anger.

He was angry at you, at himself, at the whole entire world.

It was as if something had flipped a switch inside him, because he could no longer think clearly. After leaving your apartment he didn't know how he managed to get back to his house without getting into an accident, all the way his body was driving but his soul seemed lost, his mind elsewhere.

He slammed the door so hard the noise reverberated throughout the house.

What the fuck had happened? How the fuck did you get to that point? How did you two manage to go from sleeping together the previous night to breaking up the next morning?

It's over.

Your words continued to echo in his brain, repeating over and over again as if he was listening to a broken record.

How could you have done that? How could you have left him?

He was so fucking furious.

“Fuck!” He screamed at the top of his lungs, not even caring if the neighbors could hear him. He would’ve punched anyone who dared to approach him at that moment.

He didn't know how or when it had happened but in the grip of blind fury he found himself breaking any object he came across, throwing vases against the wall, chairs, glasses, anything. The deafening silence in that apartment was broken only by the sound of his heavy and uncontrolled breathing mixed with the crashing of objects against the walls.

This wasn't enough though, he wasn't even able to partially calm the anger he felt.

“Fuck everything! Fuck you!” He screamed again as if you were in front of him.

It's over.

Why?

Jay couldn't give himself an answer. He knew things weren't going well for a while but he’d never, ever, ever imagine leaving you. He wanted to face everything with you, any kind of obstacle, because he wanted it to work, because since he had met you and even when you were just friends he hadn’t doubted for a second you weren’t the woman of his life.

He had said horrible things. Things he didn't even think.

You hadn't ruined his existence, on the contrary, his life would probably have ended in the abyss if he had never met you.

He was shocked.

He didn't want to believe it, he just couldn’t.

He was sure everything would be resolved, your love couldn't just end that way. He hadn't spent years pining for you only to lose you like that, just because of a misunderstanding.

His cell phone rang but he didn't pay attention to it as his shining eyes looked at his half-destroyed apartment.

He had to get out of there, he needed to distract himself as he couldn't stay in that damn room where everything reminded him of you, where everything screamed your name. Hell, if he closed his eyes he could hear your laughter filling his apartment as he chased you one night after you stole the bag of chips he was happily eating.

By the time he arrived at the district the intense anger had somehow subsided even though he was in no condition to do anything as his mind was completely elsewhere.

He had to suppress the urge to roll his eyes when he saw Hailey sitting on his desk. It was her fault and he was hating her for it.

Inside he actually knew this wasn’t true, it was only his fault for not being able to do things differently and yours for not trusting him enough but he wasn’t thinking clearly.

“Halstead where the hell have you been?! I waited for you for more than half an hour!”.

Just hearing her voice was enough to make him go back to the anger he had so difficultly tried to suppress. He didn't have the strength or desire to put up with anyone, especially not at that moment when everything in his life seemed to be falling apart.

“Hailey don't start this bullshit okay? God I can't stand you anymore just leave me the fuck alone! And find yourself another fucking partner from now on I’ve had enough of this shit!”.

Jay's loud voice made Voight leave his office but he didn't care just as he didn't care about the shocked expression with which she looked at him, not expecting that outburst in the slightest.

“What is going on here?” Voight's gravely voice echoed through the unit.

Jay gave him a look and without another word he left, ignoring his boss' voice calling out for him. He was walking down the stairs when he bumped into Kevin.

“Hey man dammit! Woah, are you okay?” Kevin asked, stopping in his steps and getting worried when he noticed the frantic way Jay was walking. He didn't answer him, ignoring Kevin completely as he continued towards the exit of the district.

He couldn't do this, he couldn't deal with this.

He couldn't function if you weren't there.

How was he supposed to do it?

-

The two months following the breakup were one of the hardest Jay had to face. Since you had met years ago that was the first time you hadn't spoken and to say he felt like shit was an understatement.

Some would’ve thought the reaction was exaggerated since you’ve been together for just few months, but Jay had loved you long before he even confessed his feelings for you. You had entered his life like a hurricane and now that you left he felt empty.

Empty.

Lost.

That's how he felt.

And not even these words could remotely describe how he actually felt. He was so used to having you in his life, to sharing everything with you, than even after two months he could resign himself to your breakup.

The anger had subsided but it was still there, no longer towards you – or rather only in a small part – but above all towards himself.

He was angry with you because he couldn't accept how you had given up so quickly at the first big obstacle. But then again, who was he kidding, you had every reason to do it and this was the reason why he, on the other hand, was furious with himself.

After the initial shock, as time passed, Jay had reflected on everything that had happened and what had led to the breakup and, also after speaking with his friends and brother, he realized how many mistakes he had done and how right you were saying he had been a shitty boyfriend.

He had disrespected you by not considering your feelings, he had neglected them thinking every problem would just go away on its own.

He had accused you of being irrational, oppressive and he had never realized how harmful these things were, not trying to really reflect on why were acting like that.

But it was too late.

You only realize you had something important only when you lose it, this was so true.

He mistakenly hadn't given enough importance to your feelings, your thoughts, your fears. He hadn't reassured you enough when you expressed your fears, he hadn't done what was necessary to make you go to sleep peacefully at night and he would’ve cursed himself forever for this.

He was hurting but he knew it was nothing compared to what you had been through with his carelessness and superficiality for so long, so he deserved to suffer. It's true, he deserved it – he thought – but every morning he woke up and wondered when it would end, when that emptiness would go way, when that constant sensation of his lungs being compressed and not being able to breathe would stop.

Talking to Adam one time, he pointed out Jay was wrong for not to setting boundaries with Hailey even though their relationship had always been like this even when you and him were still friends.

“We all noticed how Hailey was looking for every opportunity to get close to you man so I'm sorry to say but everything that happened was your fault. You’re like a brother to me you know this, but Y/n has every reason to be furious with you, you should’ve set some boundaries and shouldn't have never let her think another person comes before her. I don't blame her for breaking up with you.”

These words made Jay open his eyes, although ever since that day when he made that outburst against Hailey in the unit he had relaxed their partnership to the bare minimum after asking Voight to change partner. He no longer spoke to her except for work, he no longer went out when she was around, he didn't answer any calls or messages and god only knew how much he wanted to call you to tell you that but he also knew it was too late to fix it since he should’ve done this much sooner.

He thought about how he would’ve felt if the roles had been reversed and he didn't have to think twice about the fact that he would’ve reacted even worse than you did. This obviously only made him feel worse.

The question he asked himself two months ago was never answered.

Jay didn't know how to function without you. He didn't know how to exist in a world where you weren't part of it.

He couldn't sleep well anymore without you beside him and even though two months had passed, every night he found himself looking at the photos of you two and, God, how much he would’ve paid to go back to those moments and be able to relive them.

His gaze landed on one of the pictures Adam took at Molly's the fucking night when he decided giving Hailey a ride home would be a smart thing to do. God, on second thought if he could just go back in time – not giving a shit about seeming mean and insensitive – he would’ve even let her walk in the rain and snow if it meant having you with him again.

A bitter smile played on his lips as his vision blurred with tears. He had cried so much in those past months, more than he’d ever want to admit, and there were countless times where he called Will to come over and always ended up crying in front of him.

Fuck he missed you so much.

How was it possible to want someone so bad? How was it possible to miss someone so much he felt like he was dying everyday even after two months?

He sniffled as he paid attention to the photo again. You were so beautiful and seemed so carefree. He had his arm around your shoulders and you had half your face buried in his chest as you both laughed about something he couldn’t remember.

Jay struggled to recognize himself.

He didn't remember what it was like to be so happy anymore, to smile so much his jaw hurt, to feel his heart full of joy. By now he no longer smiled, if it wasn't for the strained and fake smiles he addressed to colleagues and friends from time to time.

He was so fucking happy with you and he had let slip the only source of such happiness, the only person who had ever managed to make him almost touch the sky with a finger.

He wiped away a tear that had slipped down his cheek as his finger traced the outline of your figure imprinted in the picture. This was all he had left. Just some photos and videos.

You were so beautiful, the most gorgeous woman his eyes had ever had the pleasure of laying on and the way you smiled in those photos, God, your smile was breathtaking.

The movie played in the background as he continued to look back at all the photos and videos of you he had saved in his gallery for the millionth time. He would’ve let someone rip his organs out with bare hands and let them being sold on the black market if it meant having you back.

He wanted nothing more than to go back to those happy and carefree times, to those moments he seemed to take for granted.

What would he have done to be able to make you laugh like that again, to hug you so hard until he took your breath away. What would he have given to have you back with him, to be able to open the car door for you, to hear you sing all the songs you knew on the radio or to be able to take you to your favorite restaurant and watch you stuff yourself with food with your eyes shining with joy until you exploded.

What he would’ve given to see you watch your favorite movie a thousand more times and be moved every single time while he hugged you and dried the tears you always denied having.

What would he even give to see you so grumpy and sad when your period was about to come but how that nervousness instantly disappeared and how your face lit up the moment he went to your house with a bag full of chocolate and junk food.

What would he have given to be able to sleep beside you again, to be able to cradle you in his arms and whisper sweet words until you fell asleep when you weren't sleepy or when, on the contrary, you denied you were sleepy but ended up falling asleep literally three minutes later . What would he have given to open his eyes in the morning and see you lying next to him, with only the sheet covering your body, to see your hair scattered on the pillow and some strands in front of your face, or feel your scent invade his nostrils every time you were close to him.

And, damn it, he would’ve given anything to even take back your cooking and your terribly prepared dishes. He missed going to your house and seeing the kitchen upside down with literally all the dirty dishes and pots. God, you were a terrible cook but he loved so much the immense effort you put into cooking something you knew he loved and yet he still ate whatever you made for him with a smile on his face, not admitting the food was overcooked or raw or even charred, just so he could see the look of pure joy on your face as he ate it.

He had never left a single plate full.

And that was the difference between you and him.

You always tried hard for him, you always tried to improve, to bite the bullet even if you didn't like something just so as not to bother him. You did it until you reached your breaking point and he understood this, even if it was too late.

Stupid.

Stupid.

Stupid.

The guilt was eating him alive. He couldn't accept in any way the most beautiful things that ever happened to him had ended that way and above all because of him.

He couldn’t stop thinking about you.

What were you doing? Were you thinking of him? Did you miss him? How were you?

It had been two fucking months since he had seen you, that he hadn't heard from you even though he had tried several times to call you and text you even though – understandably – you had never replied to him. He went to your house so many times he couldn’t count them but every single time before knocking on your door he’d froze, not knowing what to do and fearing your reaction. So he turned and walked away, not sparing himself crying like a three-year-old.

He had asked his friends with whom you had kept in touch about you but they said it wasn't their place to say things that concerned you since you two have broken up and that he had to stop hurting himself and take the matter in his hands.

Jay had stopped going out, his life was now home-work work-home. He didn't even know how he managed to do his job, let alone think about going out and sitting at a bar.

The truth was that he was scared as hell.

He was afraid to see you again, he was afraid to look at you and know you no longer gave a fuck about him, he was afraid of how he’d react after so long without seeing you.

He jumped when he heard someone knocking on the door and quickly wiped away his tears, locking the phone and throwing it on the couch before getting up and going to see who it was.

Oh, and the cell phone was new obviously. He didn't want to think back to how he had destroyed the old one by throwing it furiously against the wall.

“Will what are you doing here?” Jay asked as he opened the door and let his brother in, closing it behind him.

“Go get dressed, we’re going out.”

“I'm not going anywhere, I'm watching a movie.” He sat back on the couch, looking at the TV even though he didn't even remember the name of the movie.

“It wasn't a request Jay. I've had enough of seeing you like this. You have to take your life into your own hands, aren't you tired of this?”

Jay rolled his eyes. “Will just leave me alone please, I don't want to go out.”

Will walked over and took the remote control before turning off the TV and placing it back on the coffee table. “Like I said, it wasn't a request. Go get dressed, let's go to a bar for a drink and we are not going Molly's don't worry. You need to get out Jay, you've been doing nothing but staying inside the house for two months.”

“Will… I swear to God,” Jay scolded, feeling his anger and irritation grow more and more.

“No brother, listen to me. I know it hurts, I can only imagine how much but it's time you start to move on. I know you still love her but it's full of people out there you might know. She left you and it was probably for the best...”

Jay didn't even let him finish his sentence.

He suddenly got up and grabbed him by the shirt, seething with anger and refraining from giving him a punch just because he was his brother.

“If you know what's best for you, don't even dare to finish the sentence,” he spat through clenched teeth and Will nodded, knowing he was in no condition to think clearly. Jay let him go but the anger was still there.

“Jay, listen I'm sorry…”

“No fuck you! How can you think it’s better this way? How could you say that! She is the best for me, if it’s not her I don't want anyone else. After all this time, you know what I’ve been through since we were just friend, you know how I won't be able to love anyone like I love her so stop trying to pair me with someone every fucking opportunity you get, I'm sick of it!”.

Will nodded, feeling guilty for pushing his brother so hard. “I’m sorry Jay, you’re right I went too far but I’m just worried about you. I hate seeing you this way and I wasn't kidding about taking back your life. You can't keep going like this,” he said “Let's at least go have a drink and get some fresh air, I promise I won't say anything else.”

So this was how Jay found himself sitting at a bar he had never been to before with his brother – who had also invited other friends besides those from the unit – regretting the fucking moment he agreed with that shit.

Hailey was there too but he didn't even say hello to her or gave her single glance. He didn't care although he knew she had nothing to do with it but he couldn't help but feel resentment towards her.

Don't blame others for your bullshit and for not being able to keep your girlfriend, his conscience added.

Jay ended up drinking and getting drunk until he couldn't stand without help. He wasn't the type to drink but in that moment he would’ve done anything to just stop thinking about you even for just a minute. But the thing was that even when he was drunk he couldn't stop blurting out your name and not think about you, so this was no use.

Will ended up letting him sleep at his house, not feeling like leaving him alone, a chasm in his heart while looking at his brother reduced to that state and not being able to do anything to help him.

“Oh Y/n what have you done do to my brother,” he sighed before casting one last glance at Jay asleep on the bed in the guest room before closing the door behind him.

But if only Will had known what conditions you were in too, he would’ve asked this same question to you.

What have Jay done to you?

In the two months after the breakup, not a day had gone by without not wanting him back and cry in his arms, telling him you regretted leaving him.

It was hard, damn it was, but you had to be strong.

You didn't know how you didn't give in but no matter how much you loved him, no matter how much your heart ached agonizingly, you couldn't go back, not if there was no change.

You believed that at least after the break up he’d try to fight for your relationship, that he’d demonstrate he loved you as much as he professed but you started to wonder if it was even true or not.

The passing of those two months could be compared to riding a roller coaster. One day you were angry like never before, another you seemed to feel better, another you had to ask for a work leave because you had spent the night crying all the tears you had in your body until you didn't even have the strength to get up the next morning.

You had also discovered that alcohol could be a good companion but after three weeks of continuous drinking and you calling some of your friends in tears, you realized it really wasn't that good and it made you think of Jay more than you normally did. You lost count of the number of times your friends had taken your cell phone from you to prevent you from calling Jay in your drunken state.

But you missed that bastard son of a bitch so much.

And you hated yourself because you couldn't hate him even when he had made you suffer.

You asked yourself so many times if it had been the right decision, if you hadn't made it too hastily, letting yourself be guided solely by your negative emotions.

No, your conscience quickly intervened when these thoughts crept into your mind.

You had already spoken up to him many times, you had explained to him how uncomfortable his friendship with Hailey made you feel but he had decided to ignore your words and not give importance to them. All of this hurt you so damn much, especially knowing he didn't care enough like you thought he did.

It didn't matter how much you had to suffer, this wasn’t what you wanted for yourself.

You didn't want to have to beg for his attention, you didn't want to have to tearfully tell him every single time how bad the way he talked and laughed with her made you feel or how ignored you felt sometimes. You wanted a carefree love, you wanted a love where the person next to you took you above all others, a love where your man saw no other person but you, you wanted a love so intense you had to be the center of his world.

And you really thought you won the lottery with Jay.

He was the perfect man for you, or at least he had been for the first few months. God what would you have given to relive those times. They were pure heaven, you felt like you were constantly floating on clouds, almost exploding with happiness. You really felt like the center of his world and you wondered what had happened, why everything had fallen apart.

Maybe you were too pretentious, maybe you lived too much on fairy tales and romance novels, maybe you were destined to be alone and not meet anyone who’d give you what you wanted. Maybe you had to settle down and lower your expectations.

But no, damn it, you’d didn’t want to do that.

You’d never settle for a mediocre love or a person who gave you the bare minimum, even if it meant dying alone.

You knew Jay was and would forever be the one and only, you wouldn’t be able to love anyone like you loved him.

“Y/n you still there?” Stella's voice brought you back to reality.

“Oh yeah, sorry, I was just… A little bit lost in my thoughts.”

You and Stella were taking a walk in the park after your shift, even though it was cold. You had initially refused, wanting nothing more than to go home and cry yourself to sleep as you looked at the photos of you with Jay and regretted the love you had probably lost forever. But Stella didn't want to listen and you had to thank her. You wouldn't have known what to do if she hadn't been there in those two months. She had truly become your rock.

“Don't worry, I get it,” she replied with a sweet smile on her face. “You want to tell me what were you thinking about?”.

“No, I don't really want to talk about it, I've already stressed you out enough with this whole thing,” you said, putting your frozen hands in your jacket’s pockets. There was almost no one in that park if it hadn't been for a few passers-by who were taking their dog for a walk.

Autumn had already begun, the trees were mostly almost all bare from their leaves and you couldn't help but feel like them. Empty, bare, devoid of any emotion other than a sense of loss and profound sadness.

I hate you Jay Halstead.

And I also love you so damn much.

“Y/n I told you a thousand times not to keep things inside, I'm here and I’ll happily listen to you, don't think for a second you can be a burden to me.”

You turned to her and gave her a smile, perhaps one of the only sincere ones you'd given in the last two months. You felt your eyes fill with tears and you cursed yourself for feeling so emotional, how you seemed to do anything but cry at the smallest thing.

She understood you instantly, even when you looked away from her and wrapped an arm around your shoulders, giving you an encouraging hug.

You let out a sigh as the cold air prickled your face, immediately wiping away a lone tear that slid down your cheek.

“I don’t know Stella, I’m so confused…” you started to speak “I miss him so much and I… I wonder when I’ll stop feeling this way.”

“I know you miss him, it's natural Y/n. Don't pressure yourself about this, give yourself time to get over it, it's only been two months,” she paused for a moment, giving you a look, “But you don't want to get over it, do you?”.

How did she know exactly how you felt?

You nodded feebly, feeling terribly stupid.

“I don't want to go on without him, I don't know how to do it... He made me feel like shit and all I can think about is that I’d love nothing more than for him to knock on my door,” you spoke, giving voice to your thoughts “I feel so stupid because I should be mad at him and fuck I am, I wish he had fought for us, I wish he hadn't limited himself to few stupid calls and texts, I wish he had listened to me when I talked to him about our problems, but… God, at the same time if he came back I know I’d go back to him in a heartbeat because I don't know how to be without him...” tears were now streaming down your face and Stella listened to you carefully while she continued to keep her arm around your shoulder. “Am I being crazy?”.

“Oh darling, of course you aren’t. Like I said, it is more than normal, in fact I’d be worried if you didn't feel this way.”

“Was I stupid to leave him?”.

“No, you did the right thing if that’s what you felt, I would probably have done the same thing if Kelly did this or worse. Even if you love Jay to death that doesn't mean you have to spend your relationship feeling anxious every time you see him with Hailey or constantly worrying that something might happen between the two of them, or asking him to spend time with you and take you on dates or something like that. It's best to set the record straight from the start, if there's one thing you shouldn't do it's keep it all inside you. Just know that sooner or later you will explode and believe me, if you had done this the outcome would’ve been far worse.”

“I know, I know… You’re right,” you sighed “But when will this end?” you sniffed at the same time she handed you a tissue.

“I wish I could answer that Y/n, but unfortunately this is love. It's beautiful and ugly, it's joy and pain. I always thought love and hate were two sides of the same coin and it doesn't take much to erase the line between them,” she sighed, feeling sorry for you.

“Well, love sucks right now.”

You both let out a laugh and you dried you tears, again. “Trust me honey I know but… Can I tell you what I think?”.

“Yes, please.”

“I think if fate wants it, it’ll bring you back together. Darling, you two broke up not because the love ended but because you reached the breaking point after so much tension and arguments. I’m one hundred percent sure that everything happened between you was due to communication problems: he didn't fully understand your problems and you didn't have the patience to make him understand them,” she softly spoke.

“Unfortunately, you have to understand you’re two different people honey and as such you have different thoughts and views of life so what’s important for you doesn’t mean it will be as much as important for him and vice versa. He wasn’t good at understanding this and I think this was his fault; he had to put himself in your shoes, and you couldn't take it the fact he didn’t immediately get why his relationship with Hailey – along with other issues – made you feel the way you felt,” she took a pause while you listened with meticulous attention to every single word.

“He was superficial, this is true, but his problem didn't come from this. Think for a second how it must’ve felt to be constantly accused of something that I myself am certain isn’t the truth, to feel the lack of trust from the person you love,” she continued to speak as you both kept waking slowly.

“Y/n that man lives and breathes for you, his heart beats for no one but you, I see the way he looks at you and the way he talks about you when you’re not there. I saw the way he’s struggling right now and I’m very sure if you called him this very moment he’d be here begging you on his knees to come back with him. I’m not on his side though, like I said, I really think you guys just had communication issues and you need a little more patience with each other. I'm not saying you didn't do the right thing, on the contrary, I think this breakup however painful, could be the turning point for you and I'm one hundred percent sure you’ll get back together, just mark my words.”

-

You spent the following weekend locked in your house avoiding any social interaction.

You did nothing but think over and over again about Stella's words during your walk and you would’ve been lying if you said the idea of calling Jay or going to him hadn't crossed your mind more intensely than before.

You didn't do it though, fear and pride blocking you.

What if he had moved on? What if he had already forgotten about you? What if he hooked up with Hailey?

No, no, no, fuck no.

These questions continued to haunt you and were what stopped you from doing something stupid. You wouldn't have been able to bear it, you weren't ready to know this and probably never would’ve been.

It had been two months since you had seen him or heard from him but every time you wanted to ask your friends about him you stopped yourself out of pure selfishness, because you were afraid of the answer. You knew if they answered those unexpressed questions and make your fears reality, it would’ve killed you. You’d never recover, no matter how dramatic and absurd that sounded.

Selfishly speaking, you hoped he was feeling as shitty as you were, just because that would’ve meant he still cared about you and that you were still somewhere in his mind like he was constantly in yours.

Monday came slowly and you were never so grateful for it, feared that if you were left alone with your mind another day you’d shoot your brain out with a rifle.

You entered the shower with the intention of washing yourself quickly, trying to ignore the memories of the ones you took with Jay.

“God please, stop,” you whispered to yourself. Why didn’t it get easier? Why couldn't you do anything without some fucking thing reminding you of him? Why couldn't you just forget?

You burst into tears, letting them mix with the tap water that wet your face. You leaned against the cold tiles, as you sobbed into your hands covering your face.

You couldn't take it anymore.

It was getting unbearable.

You placed a hand at your heart level, feeling how it was beating wildly. Your chest rose and fell rapidly and as numerous sobs came out of your mouth and copious tears from your eyes, you started to feel the horrible sensation of not being able to breathe, as if the walls had suddenly started to close around you.

You were familiar with that feeling unfortunately, it wasn't the first time it had happened to you in those last two months and all you could do was just let it happen, sit on the ground and wait for it to pass.

And that was exactly what you did, sitting on the floor of the shower, letting the water hit your back until it got cold and you calmed down.

When you arrived at work you felt like a zombie.

You hadn't had breakfast, your twisted stomach prevented you from being able to swallow any food, and you felt rather weak.

Absurdly you hoped there would be an accident, a fire, any kind of thing that would allow you to keep your mind occupied for at least a few hours.

And for once in your life, fate seemed to follow your will.

Your team was called to the scene of an accident that very morning, a couple of hours after you arrived at the fire station. It was a road accident, a car had crashed into a guardrail and the victim was trapped in the vehicle.

When you arrived at the crime scene it started raining, making that shitty day even shittier.

You didn't have time to think about the rain, you had a person to save but it made the job even more difficult. The car was completely destroyed in the front and there were pieces of glass from the car windows and braking marks on the asphalt, making you wonder how fast the driver was going to end up in that state. You were even surprised he was still alive.

“Hey buddy just hang on okay? We'll get you out of there, just hold on for a few minutes and don't make sudden movements,” you tried to reassure him, slightly leaning forward so you could look at him. The driver was a boy who couldn’t have exceeded the age of twenty and he was about to have a panic attack. You didn't blame him though, no one would want to be in that situation.

“Get me out of here!” He kept screaming.

You and the other firefighters on the scene worked together to get the victim out of the car which was now reduced to a pile of scrap that looked more like a can of tuna.

You managed to get him out of the car but not before putting a collar around his neck to stabilize the cervical vertebrae in case they were fractured. You and your colleague, Alex, removed him from the car and immediately placed him on the stretcher, locking the straps around his body.

Even though he was almost out of danger, the stranger continued to move, shouting to let him go.

“Hey, hey, hey! Listen to me! It's okay, you're safe now. They’ll take you to the hospital where they’ll treat you okay?” You tried for the umpteenth time to calm the boy down before looking at the paramedics and nodding at them, signing they could finally transport the victim on the ambulance.

“Y/n! Come here!” Alex's voice caught your attention and you joined him towards the crashed car.

“Am I tripping or does this look like blood?” He asked, pointing to the rear trunk which was closed and from which streams of what certainly appeared to be blood were coming out.

“Holy shit,” you let out and you both exchanged a worried look. “Take the crowbar.”

With no small amount of ease you managed to open the trunk and nothing could have prepared you for what you found yourselves facing.

“Fuck!” “Oh shit!” You and Alex exclaimed almost at the same time, covering your noses from the nauseating smell that had hit you right in the face, simultaneously taking steps backwards.

There was a fucking dead body in the trunk of that car and in that moment you understood why the driver was so agitated and in a hurry to run away.

“Call the police.”

It was the Intelligence who intervened at the crime scene and it wasn't even necessary to say you were a bundle of nerves. Your stomach was churning in anxiety as you tried to stay calm, the thought of having to see Jay again almost made you throw up.

You breathed a sigh of relief when you saw Antonio arrive alone, fuck, you weren't ready to face Jay, not on the crime scene where you had found a body.

“Mornin’ guys. So what do we have here?” Antonio asked as soon as he greeted you and Alex. He gave you a longer look than usual, giving you a smile that screamed pity and sorrow.

God, did you look that bad?

Alex explained the situation and everything that happened while you listened. The rain was incessant and by now all your hair was sticking to your forehead even though it was tied up in a ponytail. The cold was almost unbearable even though you were wearing your uniform jacket which was quite heavy.

You were talking to Antonio after Alex got back to your other colleagues when you saw him and you almost had a heart attack.

Jay.

You froze in place, feeling all your muscles suddenly atrophy and paralyze. You blinked several times, fearing you were having a hallucination.

“Y/n? You okay?” Antonio's voice reached your ears very far away, your attention focused on the only person who had ever made your heart beat so fast you feared it’d stop.

You know when you hear in a movie the characters say time stops when they see the person they love?

You had always thought it was just a cliché thing but in that moment you really realized how truth that statement was.

Everything seemed to disappear, rain evaporated, people vanished.

It was two months. Two months of not seeing him. Two months of pure torture and hell and now he was there in front of you, beautiful as the sun.

He was wearing a jacket whose pockets he had put his hands in, a hood covering his hair as he walked towards the yellow police tape. He put a hand out of his pocket to lift it and go under it after nodding to the cops, tucking his hand back into his pocket immediately afterwards.

You felt your knees give away and you didn't know how you managed not to collapse there in front of everyone.

But it was when your eyes met that your breath was completely knocked out of your lungs.

Jay stopped in his tracks instantly, as if he'd bumped into something. He couldn't help but widen his eyes and part his lips as his brain processed the vision in front of him.

Was it really you? Wasn't he dreaming?

The cold vanished almost instantly as a sensation of heat coursed through his body, causing every cell in his system to light up on fire. He didn't expect to see you, not like that and not after two months.

He had to repress the desire to run to you and throw himself at your feet and pray for your forgiveness. He was overwhelmed by a wave of emotions.

Happiness.

Sadness.

Repentance.

Emptiness.

Anger.

Pain.

The memories of your last meeting overwhelmed him. His heart shattered even more than it already was when he remembered the last time he had seen and spoken to you, you both had shouted the worst evil things at each other.

It's over.

Even from afar your eyes managed to hypnotize him but he couldn't help but notice how the light that characterized them, that light in those eyes he continuously dreamed about and which he still loved with all his being, had disappeared.

And it was his fault, he was the one who did this to you.

He had noticed the dark circles surrounding your eyes, perhaps even worse than his, and guilt was added to all those feelings he felt.

It was all his fault.

His eyes filled with tears when you looked away, wanting nothing more than to run away and cry.

He saw Antonio turn towards him and give him a look before returning his attention to you and saying something. Jay didn't have the strength to get closer, the fear was paralyzing him. He couldn’t even let out a sound.

But how much he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs how much he loved you, so deeply you made completely lose his mind to the point he couldn’t breathe without you, sleep, or even eat.

He just stood there like an idiot while staring at you, not moving a single muscle.

You’re so fucking mesmerizing Y/n. How can someone be so beautiful?

You said something to Antonio and looked at Jay again before turning your back and walking away, joining the rest of your colleagues who were about to go back to the fire station.

“Halstead you okay?” Antonio asked as he approached him but Jay didn't even seem to listen to him as his eyes were following your every move. “Jay.”

“I'm fine,” he murmured, never taking his eyes off you. You were taking some tools he couldn't even identify and loading it onto the fire truck.

“Jay, man, look at me please.”

But he didn't.

He didn't take his eyes off you until you got into the truck and drove away, not before you exchanged another look.

Jay let out a sigh he didn't even know he was holding, then ran his hands over his face wet because of the rain.

He looked at the gray sky for a moment, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath in an attempt to regain control of himself.

He hated all of this. He hated you still had so much control over him, his thoughts, how you managed to mess him up so badly he couldn't properly function anymore. You had such power over him and you didn't even know it. How the fuck could you even doubt he didn't care about you?

“I’m sorry,” he murmured when he realized how idiotic he must have looked.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“How is she?”.

Antonio sighed. “She… She’s not doing very well Jay, she was shaking when she saw you. Why don't you just talk to her and solve your problems? It's so obvious that neither of you are over it yet.”

It was now late afternoon and Jay was out of his mind.

For the rest of the day he thought of nothing but you and meeting you that morning. Even as the team investigated the case about the body you found, everyone had noticed how his mind was totally elsewhere.

He said something from time to time, participating in the investigations when he seemed to wake up from his thoughts and then immediately distanced himself from them again.

He didn't miss Voight's lecture, who chided him about how distracted he had been lately. He told him he understood the hard time he was going through but that he should leave his problems outside the district.

He was quite understanding, even when Jay came to him and told him he no longer wanted to be partnered with Hailey, but enough was enough. Jay had to be concentrated, he couldn't afford distractions in a job like his because just one small mistake could’ve cost him his life.

“What happened man? You seem even more out of your mind than usual today,” Adam stated when he entered the break room and saw his friend sitting on the small sofa, looking down and a cup of steaming coffee in his hands.

“I saw her,” Jay replied softly.

“What? Seriously? When? Have you guys talked?”.

Jay shook his head. “This morning, at the crime scene, she was one of the firefighters there,” he sighed as his mind was haunted by your eyes “We didn't talk. I just looked at her from afar.”

Adam sighed as he poured himself some coffee too. “How much longer are you planning to go on like this? You're becoming unbearable Halstead.”

“Excuse me?”.

“Yes, you heard me mate. You’ve been a pain the ass. Either you get back with her or move on, just stop crying to yourself like a baby and do something. Are you waiting for a fucking miracle to get you back together? Then you can wait forever because it will never happen. You make your own destiny.”

Jay looked at him not knowing whether to laugh or feeling offended.

But damn, was he right.

He was tired of feeling this way, of this continuing suffering, of being without you. It had been too long and he didn't want to live that way anymore. He no longer wanted to wake up in the morning and constantly wonder when the damn day would end, he no longer wanted to roll over in bed and not seeing you lying next to him, he no longer wanted to wake up in the middle of the night because of some nightmare where you were happily in love with another man.

He wanted to be your man, he wanted to give you all the happiness you deserved, he wanted to be the one to give you everything you needed.

He had been so stupid for even letting this much time pass.

All he had to do was go to you and do everything within his power to make you truly trust him again, to proving you how much he loved you, how much his world revolved only around you, how much only you made him happy.

Either it was you or he’d die in total solitude and he didn't want that. He wanted to be with you, he wanted to die like a decrepit old man while he held your hand.

He hadn't spent so many years of friendship longing for you only to give up like that and let you go, he couldn't do that. He didn’t want to live with that ‘if’, with the fear of taking a few steps towards you because he was afraid of your rejection, even if it would’ve hurt him, he wanted to give his all.

For this reason he placed the cup of coffee on the table and ran away at the speed of light, leaving Adam standing there who, however, immediately understood the intentions of his friend and grinned to himself.

Jay didn't bother wearing his jacket or getting an umbrella to protect himself from the rain that was pouring incessantly since the morning, not caring about anything other than coming to you.

Although it was only 5:30 PM, it was already dark outside. The rain was pounding so hard the walk from the district to his car was enough to get him soaked from head to toe.

If in other moments he would’ve torn a limb rather than get into the car with his soaked clothes and wet the seats, in that instant it was the last thing on his mind. He thought about how you’d react seeing him in that situation, he knew you’d tease him forever. Just the thought made him smile.

It was Monday and he knew you had a double shift that day so he drove to the fire station at the speed of light, hoping to find you there. He didn't care you were in the middle of the shift, he just needed to see you.

He parked the car crookedly, got out and ran towards the fire station. The first person he met was Stella, who looked at him with a weird look as soon as she noticed the condition he was in.

“Stella, hi... Where is Y/n? I need to talk to her.”

He gave her a confused look at her when he saw her slightly grinning as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Finally Halstead, took you long enough don't you think? Two months…”

“I know, I've been a stupid piece of shit,” he interrupted her not being able to contain himself anymore “But please tell me where she is.”

“She went home an hour and a half ago, she said she wasn't feeling well.”

Worry took over. “Wait what? Did something happened?”.

Stella rolled her eyes. “You're such an idiot Jay. Physically she's fine, emotionally not much and it's because of you,” she pointed her index finger at his chest. “You better fix the mess you've made.”

He felt like shit, more than he already was. He hated the thought of you being in pain, especially because of him. “I'll try, if she still wants to talk to me.”

“She has every reason not to,” Stella commented.

He nodded. She was right. “She’s home right?”.

“Last time I checked, yes.”

“Thank you Stella.”

Jay started to walk away but her voice made him stop.

“I never want to see her cry again Jay so if you don't believe in what you're doing and if you think you can't give her what she needs you better turn around and drive your stupid ass back to your house,” she threatened him. “She wouldn't be able to go through everything she's been through these past few months again, so I'm warning you, I'll rip your balls off and make you wear them like earrings if you make her suffer again.”

“I'm not going to Stella, she…” he sighed trying to find the right words to describe how he felt about you “She is my whole world, I've never been as sure of anything as I am of how much I love her, I just want her back.”

Stella nodded. “Now go.”

When Jay arrived outside your apartment building, a wave of relief went through him as he noticed your car was parked in its usual spot. But it was soon replaced by disappointment when after knocking your door several times there was no answer.

He thought about calling you but he didn't want to scare you away, he didn't want you to have the chance to escape since he wanted to talk to you at all costs.

He went outside again, and sat on the steps outside the main entrance waiting for you, his head bowed as droplets of water were falling on the asphalt. He luckily managed to sit where the rain wouldn’t come although the still soaked clothes were starting to bother him. He didn't care though, this was truly the last thing on his mind.

Where were you? Were you alone? Were you with anyone else?

He shook his head. He didn't even want to think about it, knowing he’d most likely get a life sentence without parole if he ever saw another man next to you.

He didn’t also want to think it wouldn’t be his businesses since you two weren’t together anymore.

Contrary to what Jay thought, you had just gone for a walk, unable to stay at home since you were afraid if you were left alone with your thoughts again you’d go crazy. You thought you were stupid for asking to leave early from work so you could stay at home and rest but then didn't want to stay because the anguish was so intense you couldn't even sit still.

So you ended up taking an umbrella and going out for a walk, without a specific destination. You just wanted to clear your head and get some fresh air. Even though the rain was bothering you since that morning, you still loved the sound of it and the smell it left in the air.

Seeing Jay had shocked you more than you would’ve ever imagined, even though you knew quite well how it’d end. You had wondered numerous times what it’d be like to meet him again after two months of not hearing from him, you knew it wouldn't be easy, but you didn't think it would’ve such a deep effect on you to not even let you do your job.

It was as if you jumped back to the day you broke up and that very little progress you had made over the course of those months disintegrated as soon as you met his beautiful eyes.

You walked for a time that seemed infinite to you even though barely an hour had passed and when your hands started to lose sensitivity due to the cold, you decided it was the time to head back home.

The journey to your apartment building took longer than expected, not in a hurry to return to those four cold walls as you knew the rough night awaited you. That is, crying and alcohol.

But if you had known what – or rather who – awaited you, you would’ve run until your lungs burned.

“Jay…”

You almost had a heart attack when you noticed the figure sitting on those steps, recognizing immediately the very and only man who managed to take your breath away and the ground off your feet with just a look.

You immediately saw how soakes wet his clothes were and how he wasn't even wearing a jacket over his long-sleeved shirt and your heart ached painfully.

How long was he there?

He shoot his gaze up from the ground when he heard your voice, fearing for a moment it was too good to be true and you weren't really there. He stood up quickly, standing in front of you.

“What are you doing here?” You asked with a shaky voice, struggling to hold the eye contact. Why did you want to cry so suddenly?

“I… I’m sorry for popping in here unannounced, I need to talk to you.”

Your stomach tightened in a vice, though you knew you had no other choice. You had to do it, you needed it too.

You nodded. “Let's go upstairs though.” You continued, feeling your heart break at thought he might catch something.

He nodded back and at the same time let out a sneeze before looking down in embarrassment. If it wasn’t for the fact you had broken up badly and this was the first time you interacted since that faithful day, you would’ve found it funny.

You closed your umbrella and entered your apartment building, aware Jay was behind you, and you both walked up to your home in complete silence.

Jay almost burst into tears when you opened the door and let him in, feeling a wave of nostalgia wash over him. He could smell your scent perfectly – well it was normal since it was your house – but he missed it so fucking much he thought he’d collapse on the floor.

He looked around, noticing everything was the same, but different at the same time. Two months had passed since he had set foot in that house but it seemed like an eternity since it had been the worst time of his life.

Silence reigned supreme as he looked at you taking off your jacket and hung it on the coat rack, after placing the wet umbrella in its stand.

You disappeared into your room for a moment and he stood there frozen, not knowing what to do.

He hated that feeling so fucking much, he hated not knowing how to act around you, what to say or what to do. You had always been his best friend, the person he felt most at peace with, you were the love of his life and yet at that moment he couldn't even look at you in the eyes without feeling like complete shit.

“I brought you some dry clothes, you can go change and put the wet ones in the dryer,” you said as soon as you walked out of your room, holding some folded clothes that Jay immediately recognized as his.

A little hope lit up inside him.

You still had his clothes, a black t-shirt and sweatpants. He had even forgotten you had them in first place but the relief and joy he felt from that small gesture almost made him burst into tears.

God I feel like a fucking emotional teenage girl.

“I thought you threw them away,” he replied, moving closer to you. You shook your head, but didn't look at him, too embarrassed to do it. If only he had known you had spent nights wearing those clothes and smelling his scent while crying yourself to sleep.

He took them and as he did it your hands touched.

You both tried to maintain a neutral facade but from the brief glance you exchanged you knew it affected both of you at the same way. It was as if an electric shock ran through your bodies and that small, almost imperceptible touch was enough to throw both of you into a whirlwind of indescribable emotions.

“Uhm… I-I… Well… I’ll just go,” he stammered before running to the bathroom and closing the door behind him.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, Y/n what are you doing to me,” he whispered, resting his forehead on the door as he caught his breath.

You let out a deep breath you didn't realize you were holding, placing a hand on your chest in an attempt to slow down your heart that was beating so hard it felt like it wanted to escape from your rib cage.

“I need a drink,” you said to yourself and went to the kitchen with the intention of drinking something strong.

You were still processing what was happening.

Jay was at your house.

Your ex-boyfriend and the love of your fucking life was at your house, in your bathroom, changing his wet clothes.

You tried to convince yourself it was reality and not just your dream as you poured some whiskey into a glass and downed it in one gulp like a shot.

You were so lost in your thoughts you didn't even realize Jay was back. You gave him a look, cursing yourself as you did since Jay in black was one of your weaknesses.

Lord please have mercy on my poor soul.

“How long have you been a whiskey drinker?”.

“Do you really want to know?” You responded with another question, looking up at him and taking another shot of alcohol, the burn along your throat now quite familiar.

You looked at each other for a few seconds and he shook his head slightly, knowing full well the answer to that question. He lowered his eyes to the floor, the guilt too strong.

“You want something?” You politely asked as you closed the bottle.

“No, thank you.” He wanted to talk to you as clearly as possible.

You nodded and placed the dirty glass in the sink.

Silence reigned supreme again and you walked past him before going into the living room and sitting on the couch. Your palms were sweating and you wondered why this had to be so damn hard.

Jay followed you like a puppy, but remained standing.

“You can sit Jay.”

He never thought about it but his name never sounded so wonderful until he heard you say it. Everything that came out of your lips was pure poetry to his ears, except when you insulted him, that was like getting stabbed by thousands knives.

He sat down on the couch, painfully far away from you.

“How are you?“ Was the first thing Jay asked and he mentally smacked himself on the forehead for his stupidity. He hadn't seen you for two months after you two had a horrible breakup and the smartest thing he could think of was ‘how are you?’.

Fucking dumbass.

You raised your head and your eyes met his, looking at him with an indecipherable expression. “You want the honest truth?”.

“Always.”

“Not very good Jay,” you gave a fake tight half smile “And now that you're here even less so.”

He sighed, obviously expecting this response, leaning back on the couch as he thought about what he could say.

“I'm sorry.” Was all he could spit out.

You imitated his gesture and leaned against the back of the sofa too, crossing your fingers over your belly while your eyes were fixed on the ceiling as if it was the most interesting thing you had ever seen.

You both remained silent for a moment. You looking at the ceiling and him looking at you.

With his eyes he traced the outline of your profile in meticulous detail, thinking about how much he missed being able to be close to you and look at you. He analyzed every inch of skin of your face, taking pictures with his gaze with the hope of imprinting them all in his memory in case he was no longer able to look at you like that.

“What did you want to talk to me about?” you asked, not looking at him.

He had to bite his tongue to keep from telling you how beautiful you were, fearing he’d get nothing more than a slap in the face, probably deserved too.

“So many things but I don’t know where to begin, I… I had a speech but I can’t even remember my own name now.”

You turned your head towards him and you looked at each other for a while in a way Jay couldn’t decipher, making him wish he could read your mind.

Your eyes never left each other as silence filled the room, the air was so tense it could be cut with a knife.

“How did we end up like this Jay?” It was you who broke the silence after a while, your voice so low you thought he hadn't even heard you.

“It was my fault,” he replied without hesitation “I… You were right Y/n, I was a shitty boyfriend,” he continued referring to what you had told him that fateful morning.

“No, it was my…”

“No bab- Y/n…” he tried to correct himself but it was too late because your heart had already skipped a beat. “I won't let you think it was your fault. I neglected you, I took you for granted, I was arrogant enough to think that once we got together we could just be happy without any effort. But I was wrong, I didn't realize I had hurt you so much and believe me... Please believe me, I’ll spend the rest of my days beating myself for this.”

“I hurt you too…” you whispered, feeling your eyes full of tears and afraid you’d start crying at any moment.

His chest tightened as he saw your sad expression and God only knew how much he wanted to hug you, holding you so tightly to his chest until he’d make all your pain go away.

He shook his head. “You were just angry, now I know, I understand it. I know your constant arguing with me was your way of telling me I wasn't doing enough for you and I'm sorry for putting you through all of this… I… I'm sorry for making you doubt me and I’ll never forgive myself for that Y/n because I lost the best thing that ever happened to me in life.”

Hearing those words made those little defenses you had managed to built collapse. You got up suddenly as tears ran down your cheeks, wiping them away in the process. You stood by the window, turning your back to him so he wouldn't see you.

He stood up right after you and carefully approached you. He moved his hands with the intention of resting them on your shoulders to comfort you but he stopped, not wanting to overstep your boundaries and make the situation even worse.

“Look at me Y/n please, I need to look into your eyes,” he whispered in a pleading tone. You quickly wiped your tears with your palms and turned to him, but kept your gaze lowered. “Hey…” He called your attention and you finally looked up at him. Your eyes were incredibly shiny from the tears but they had never been more beautiful than they were in that moment and finally being able to look at them so closely was like being punched in the stomach.

“I don't blame you, I don't blame you for a single thing you did or said, I hope you know that. I'm angry at myself for not giving you what you needed and for not realizing in time you were slipping through my fingers,” he confessed, “I haven't been fair to you, I've been superficial and selfish and… I stupidly thought our love would be enough for everything to go easy, but I was so wrong, because love is not just this, love is also understanding, patience, compromise and I failed giving you this...” he talked so softly it made your heart hurt.

Tears continued to leak from your eyes down your cheeks as you listened to the words you had wanted to hear for so long. This was all you ever wanted.

“I hate seeing you like this and I hate myself more for being the cause of it,” he continued in a whisper as the lump in his throat prevented him from saying anything else. “Can I?”.

You nodded without even knowing what he was referring to and your subconscious cursed you for reacting so quickly to whatever he said.

He lifted his hands and cupped them gently on your face, wiping away every tear with his thumbs with so gentle movements you thought you were dreaming of his touch.

You closed your eyes at that touch while at the same time letting out a sigh of relief. It didn't matter how long you denied it to yourself, you missed that man like oxygen, you were nothing without him.

“I hope you'll forgive me one day even though I know I don't deserve it…” his voice broke at the last words and with a blow to your heart you realized that he too was crying.

“Jay don't-…” you managed to mutter with a shaky voice.

“No, wait, please, let me talk,” he interrupted you, sniffling and never leaving your gaze “I need to tell you these things, I need you to know how much I care about you and how much I love you. I…” he stopped again, unable to continue moving forward and lowered his gaze, not being able to look at you anymore.

“Can I?” You whispered back and his eyes met yours again, chuckling through his tears before nodding. That time you were the one wiping away his tears with your fingers, gently stroking his skin with your thumbs, enjoying that sensation you missed so badly.

“Fuck baby, I don't deserve you.” He murmured hoarsely. “But I'm too selfish to let you go.”

His thumbs continued to caress your cheeks as you slid your arms to your sides.

“Let me decide that.”

“Before you do I want you to know I’ve never for a second stopped thinking about you. These past months have been pure hell, a fucking nightmare and I deserve it, for the way I treated you but I'm so pissed at myself because you didn't deserve it at all,” He croaked “I disrespected you by not respecting your wishes, and not giving your feelings the importance they deserved but I swear to you Y/n, I swear to you because you’re the most important person in my fucking life,” he looked intensely into your eyes, so much as if he somehow hoped you could read his soul. “Nothing has ever happened with Hailey or any other woman and I am so sorry I made you doubt it with the way I acted.”

“You’re the only woman of my life, you’re the woman I want to build my future with, you’re the woman I want to marry, you’re the woman I want to be the mother of my children, you’re the woman with whom I want to grow old and with whom I want to die,” he spat out as more lonely tears marked his cheeks, tears you immediately took and wiped away without hesitation. He softly smiled, making your heart race and your breath quicken, as he leaned against your touch.

“I can't exist without you, I can't function if you're not here baby and I wish I could let you into my head and heart… Fuck… You wouldn't doubt for even a second every fucking cell of my body don't have your name written on them I swear. You own me, in a way you’ll never imagine.”

You couldn't answer the question of how you were still standing as with each passing second you felt your knees buckle more and more. You were a crying mess, you couldn’t even look at him properly because of your blurred vision.

“I've been a selfish son of a bitch but I swear to you, and please believe me, there hasn't been a time since I first saw you that night at Molly's years ago that you haven't been in my mind. You came into my life like a hurricane Y/n and from the first time you smiled at me I never doubted for a second I finally met the love of my life, the greatest I could ever ask for.”

His fingers caressed your hair while you feared you’d have a heart attack at any moment.

“I know these will probably be empty words but if only you’d give me a chance my little angel, I promise I’ll do everything I can to make you happy and give you everything you deserve,” he whispered “I'm not giving up on us, even if now...

The ringing of his cell phone interrupted him and he let out a “Fucking hell” before taking it from his trouser pocket.

Contrary to what you expected, he rejected the call without no hesitation or even looking who it was and threw the phone on the sofa, not caring it bounced and then fell on the floor.

“I'm sorry…” he looked at you again.

“Why didn't you answer?”.

“Because I don't care about anyone else beside you right now.”

“But what if it was important?”.

“Nothing is more important than you Y/n, I hope I can convince you of that one day.”

“But…”

“Nothing but baby,” he placed his hands on your face again, freezing when he realized what he had just said “S-sorry I…” He didn’t realize it but he had already said it few other times.

You tried to hold back a smile and shook your head, letting him know it didn’t bother you. In fact, the way that pet name made you feel was something indescribable.

“I don’t want you to think I was thinking about her but Hailey’s not my partner anymore.”

He dropped this news like a bomb without even finished what he was saying earlier, leaving you in shock, not expecting something like this at all. “What? Why?”.

“Because it's something that bothers you.”

“Jay it didn't bother me she was your partner but…”

“I know,” he interrupted you, “It bothers you the way I behaved with her even though it meant absolutely nothing to me, the fact I was with you and when she called me I answered her, that I gave her a ride her, and all the things that happened. I know, I get it now, and this was fucked up on my part and I only now understand how you felt about it and I'm so sorry...”

“I'm glad you understand now but you still didn't even have to change partners Jay.”

“Y/n, I know it. I know it wasn't even necessary not to speak to her anymore except for something related to work but this is what I wanted and want to do. It might be dramatic but for me it's the least I can do for you,” he spoke in a firm and decisive tone “I had to set some boundaries, show you respect and understand how much all of this hurt you. I had to understand it was something that deeply troubled you instead of fueling your fears and making you feel like you were a burden.”

You looked at him with shock.

Who the hell was this man?

“You come first angel, everything else is worth less than a zero for me. I now get that if something hurts you than I have to figh tooth and nail to prove to you that whatever goes through this little head will never make me stop loving you, caring about you or needing you more than the air I breathe, so if you tell me my partnership with Hailey is bothering you, I'll get rid of it.”

“But it's not fair you… You don’t have to give up your friendship with her for me. I don't want you to have to deprive yourself of all this Jay, I never asked for this...”

“…You just wanted to be reassured,” he continued the sentence for you and you nodded feebly. “But listen to me. I know you didn't ask me, no one did, I decided to do it and there won't be anything that will make me change my mind. Y/n I want to do everything I can to make you trust me again, I don't care what it entails, even if it means burning up the whole world to the ground I will do it, without hesitation. I want you to understand that nothing’s more important to me than you, that you come above anyone else. Please, I don't want and I can't be without you anymore, I can't baby...”

Jay stopped talking for a second but continued noticing your silence. “And if this makes you feel better, I don’t want to keep a friendship with someone who acted the way she did. A friend doesn't try to intrude on your relationship, I was just too trusting and stupid to understand it and I'm sorry you had to pay for it.”

You pulled away from him for a moment, suddenly feeling suffocated. You sat on the couch again, resting your elbows on your knees and your face covered by your hands as you considered everything Jay had said so far.

Your mind was in a whirlwind of emotions and you couldn't figure out which of the thousand thoughts to listen to first.

Your rational part would’ve told him it was too late, that it was easy to fix your mistakes when the damage had been done.

But your non-rational part, the bigger one, would’ve thrown your arms around him and hugged him until he lost his breath.

You appreciated everything he had told you, so relieved he had finally understood what your real problem was with everything that had happened.

You loved him so much, so terribly much and the relief you had at hearing those words lifted a weight off your shoulders. But you still were so confused and didn't know what to do.

You didn't want to make hasty decisions following only your heart and you equally didn't want to make others that you might regret.

You felt the sofa sink next to you, a sign Jay had sat down.

“I… I know my job is to show you how much you mean to me and you might think that by rooting out Hailey's problem I've just gone with the easy solution but I hope you know that's not the case. I would choose you in a room with a billion people, I would still looking for you. It's just been my way of making you understand that neither Hailey nor any other woman is as indispensable in my life as you are, none of them are worth losing you.” He spoke softly. “I’ll never get tired of repeating you’re the only one who exists for me, I have eyes only for you and it will be like this until my last breath. All I want is to see you happy baby, I want to make you happy. The problem wasn't just my friendship with Hailey, I know that, I didn’t pay enough attention to you and I want to make up for every single mistake I made... And…”

You started crying again, just when you thought you had managed to control your emotions and he noticed.

“And I love you so damn much,” he whispered these last words like some sort of spell.

After what seemed like an infinite amount of time to him, you finally looked up at him. He gently wiped away your tears for the umpteenth time, trying not to focus on how painful it was to see you like that.

“To say these two months have been hell is an understatement,” you sobbed, but still tried to speak, “I've been so angry at you Jay.”

“I know and you have every right to.”

“Every single day I hoped you’d knock on my door and say these exact words to me. Why didn't you do it? God Jay, I would’ve gotten back with you before I even let you talk. Why didn't you fight for us?”.

His heart broke into a thousand little pieces. “Because I'm a stupid piece of shit. I know you won't believe me but I was scared as fuck. I've come here so many times, actually, but I've never had the courage to knock on the door.”

“Really?”.

He nodded mentally smacking himself for his stupidly as he could’ve avoided to both of you months of suffering. “Yes, I was scared to face you. I was afraid you’d tell me it was forever over and you didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore, I honestly wouldn't have been able to survive something like that. As twisted or dumb as it sounds, I had the hope one way or another fate would bring us together again and I was afraid that if you told me no then this hope would die.”

“What made you come here today?”.

“Seeing you this morning reminded me of everything I had lost. In reality, Adam also helped me knock some sense in me but, well... I realized I don't want to cry anymore and that I want to do everything to get you back.”

You looked at him for a few moments in silence, studying his words and his wonderful features.

“I’ll fight for us Y/n, I can't be without you anymore, I feel like I'm going crazy.”

“I don't want you to think it's all your fault though, it's not.”

“Indeed it is…”

“No. It was also my fault, I shouldn't have given up so quickly, I should’ve trusted you a little bit more and explained myself better, be more patient and give you the time to understand my feelings and demanded to fix them immediately, without thinking you too had to adapt your own thoughts to mine. I was selfish too Jay.”

Jay looked at you with so much intensity and so fervently it suddenly made you feel small and naked under his eyes. He looked at you as if he wanted to get under your skin, he looked at you like a painter looks at his own work of art, like a sculptor looked at his own creation. He looked at you with so much love and sweetness this alone would’ve been enough to make you fall into a thousand pieces.

God, how much you missed the way he looked at you. As if you were the only one in the world, as if you were the most beautiful of the seven wonders of the world, as if you were everything his eyes wanted to see. This was what you missed, what you wanted: feeling like you were the only one for him.

“Don't slap me but I want to kiss you so fucking bad right now,” he whispered, fearing your reaction but at the same time unable to hold his tongue.

You let out a small chuckle through your tears as you dried them and straightened your back. You would’ve been lying if you said you didn't want him to jump on you.

“I'd like to see you try.”

“Oh don't tempt me sweetheart. I could make you squirm under me in less than five minutes if I wanted.”

Please just say yes baby.

You let out a louder laugh this time and threw one of the sofa cushions at him, especially because he was completely right and it wasn't something you wanted to find out at that moment.

He let out a mock cry of pain even though inside he was exploding with joy. He didn't know if it was more the fact you had thrown the pillow at him and actually jokes with him or because he finally heard you laugh. He was almost tempted to tickle you even though you hated it just so he could make you laugh and record the sound and set the recording as the ringtone on his cell phone.

Did he already say he loved you so fucking much he couldn't breathe?

“I'm scared Jay.” You whispered as the air became serious again. He moved closer to you and took your hand, drawing imaginary circles on its back with his thumb, a gesture he used to do to comfort you.

“I know, but I'll make it worth it. I never want to spend a day without you again, I’ll give you the world. I promise,” he whispered as his eyes caressed your face in a little dance, observing your features and every peculiarity of your beautiful skin. “I can't even tell you in words how much I love you Y/n. Just… Just tell me what you want and I'll give it to you. You want me to get on the roof and jump? I'll do it. Do you want me to blow up some buildings? Give me the address. I’m begging you…”

You chuckled again and he felt victorious for managing to make you smile again. He left out the part where he would actually do anything he just said.

“I love you to death Jay, more than you could ever imagine…” you murmured “And I'm so scared because if... If it doesn't work I won't be able to go through this again,” you paused for a second. “I don't have the strength. I never want to experience anything like that again, I would rather shoot myself.”

“No, no, no, no, this will never happen. There will never be an 'if it doesn't work' again. I'm here to stay and I want to make you the happiest you've ever been, please Y/n, I can't be without you anymore.”

He placed his free hand on your cheek and before your brain could even process it, your body had already responded and you found yourself leaning against his touch.

You looked at each other for few moments, still not believe all of this was real.

“I want us to take it slow. We went too fast the first rime we got together thinking we knew each other well because we were friends before. I want to know the real you, and I want you to really know me.”

“Yes, yes, yes, fuck yes, whatever you want baby,” he replied so quickly he embarrassed himself while he felt his heart beating so fast it was most likely going to explode.

“Or maybe it's better that we just be friends again. It seemed to work just fine,” you decided to tease him and the look of pure horror and shock that crossed his face was priceless. You so badly wished you could take a photo of him in that moment.

“I know you're taking the piss out of me right now, but you and I could never be friends again, never, ever, ever, again.”

“Why?”.

“You’re seriously asking me why? Have you heard any of the words I just said?” He raised an eyebrow and you shrugged, trying not to laugh. “Because there hasn’t been a single day where you were just a friend to me. I have loved you much longer than you’ll ever know baby, so no. Absolutely no friends.”

You bit your cheek to try and suppress a smile but it was in vain, Jay realized it before you could even try to hide it from him and he had to suppress the urge to kiss you right now and there.

“That's not what you should say when you're taking things slowly, you know?”.

He sighed. “You're going to torture me aren't you?”.

You nodded and his eyes lit up like a Christmas tree as they looked at you and he swore if you looked closely you could see his pupils had turned into a heart shape.

“Baby, I'd let you tie me naked to a pole and in the middle of a storm if that's what you wanted, don't even play with me right now.”

You laughed, your heart now lighter.

You didn't know if you were doing the right thing, if you had reacted hastily and without thinking but at that moment you didn't care. After all, that’s how love was: it was irrational, unconditional, vulnerable, overwhelming, it was messy. You couldn't just follow a plan or predict what to do.

You were aware you were taking an immense risk, that you were risking hurting yourself again in a deep and irreparable way but you wanted to have a little more faith in him. You had always wanted that intense love worthy of fairy tales and you knew he was the only one who’d be able to give it to you even if it meant facing the unknown and the possibility of suffering again.

And the more you looked at Jay, the more you were convinced this was a risk you were willing to take.

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[she-wolf09231982]

Chapter 1- The Age of Chivalry

Summary: You're reassigned to Easy Company when one of their medics was injured pre D-Day. You expect some sass from the Company since you'll be the only female soldier in 100 miles but never expected for any of them to befriend you.

Author Note: Mature audience, Joe LiebgottxFemMedic, WW2, Character introduction, Pre D-Day, She/Her Pronouns, Y/N, L/N, Cursing/Swearing, Derogatory Slurs, Womanizing Comments, Military Terminology, Inappropriate Nicknames, Band of Brothers References, Mentions of Weaponry, Smoking, Story takes place Episode 1- Currahee

*These stories may not fall entirely in accordance with the TV series timeline. I do not know the real soldiers the actors portray in this series, so please understand I show no disrespect. Some or most of historical events and character interactions in my fanfics are fabricated purely for the sake of the enjoyment of fiction*

~~~~~~~

October 1943

It was never a good idea to mix a single female with a Company of deprived men in the Army...but here you are. You found out you were assigned to Easy Company 2nd Battalion 101st Airborne Division in Fall 1943 when they lost one of their medics to an injury. Although you trained separately from the males at Toccoa in the Divisional medical unit and were one of very few females allowed to work alongside men, you got along quite well with most of the guys. You held your own never asking for special treatment or never played the ‘damsel in distress’ card, so Easy Company learned rather quickly that you can keep up.  

~~~~~~~

You remember the day you arrived at Aldbourne, England to make contact with the boys of Easy Company. With your reassignment order in hand, you approach a group of soldiers sitting at a picnic bench outside a building. All of them looking a bit rough, but nonetheless smoking and joking with eachother. They take a pause as they notice you approaching them. Some of them sizing you up and down as you carry your duffel full of medical supplies and wearing fatigues that have yet to see the battlefields like theirs have.  

“Hey, you lost there, lady?” Private Roy Cobb called out to you, sizing you up again as you continued to walk towards them without faltering. 

You shoot the mouthy Private a look of disdain before responding. 

“I’m looking for Corporal Roe. I was told to make contact with him as soon I arrived.” You speak to the group as a whole. 

They all exchanged looks and a few whispers. 

Corporal George Luz stood up. 

“Why, I’m Eugene Roe. But around here they call me, ‘Doc.’” He declared confidently with a cocky grin. 

The others started to snicker. One laid a heavy pat on his shoulder showing his appreciation of the joke. 

You rolled your eyes, releasing an exasperated sigh. 

Sergeant Denver Randleman stood from the bench, then walked towards you pushing Luz aside shaking his head as he passed him. He was a larger man. Like a bear. Never removing the cigar hanging out of the corner of his mouth as he spoke to you.  

“He’s across the way this way, I’ll take ya to him.” He said, motioning you along in the opposite direction. 

“Thank you, Sergeant.” You reply. 

“No problem. And it’s just ‘Bull,’ ma’am.” He said politely in his thick Southern accent as he passed you leading the way.  

You turn on your heel and proceed to follow Bull, ignoring the distant whistles you heard from some of the men you just met behind you. 

~~~~~~~

“I hope the guys haven’t given you too much trouble so far?” stated the actual Eugene ‘Doc’ Roe when you crossed into the designated aid station. 

“Nothing I haven’t dealt with before, Doc.” You say with conviction.  

Bull chuckled, finding your response amusing. 

“Yeah, I bet.” Doc replied before continuing. 

“Well, let’s get you in processed here, and squared away. Thanks for bringing her here, Bull. I’m sure those other idiots would’ve just sent her to their barracks.” he said with a roll of his eyes. 

Bull nodded with a small wave.  

“See you at chow, L/N.” Bull called back to you before he left. 

When Bull returned to where the others were still gathered, they bombarded him with questions. 

“Did you catch her name??” Sergeant (Sgt) Don Malarkey prodded. 

“-is she coming to Easy Company??” Sgt Bill Guarnere interrupted before Bull could answer. 

“-did she say anything about me?” Luz questioned. 

As the interrogation got heavier, he threw his hands up and removed the cigar from his mouth. 

“GUYS!! Take it easy, will ya? You’ll see her later at chow, just don’t attack her with all of these questions right away, k? We don’t want to scare her off now, do we?” He explained as he replaced his cigar and walked away.  

They all swapped looks of excitement.  

“Well, I don’t know about you guys, but I’m going to have me a shower before dinner this evening.” Corporal Joe Liebgott stated while flicking his cigarette butt, rising from the picnic bench, shouldering his rifle. 

“Ok, Liebgott, like you have a shot.” Malarkey teased. 

Liebgott turned to him. 

“Oh contrare, I feel you underestimate me, Don.” He shot back at Malarkey while walking backwards, then turning back around. 

The group scoffed at him collectively. 

~~~~~~~

You got to chow early before any of the other men started to show up. You tucked yourself way in the back at a long table in the corner. You made sure to keep your head down, hanging over a tray trying to swallow some of the Army’s finest slop.  

“Should’ve just stuck to a dinner roll with margarine.” You whispered to yourself as you grimaced from the last mouthful of mystery meat from your plate. 

“Not exactly a high-end dish from The Ritz, now, is it?” Sgt Carwood Lipton joked as he sat down across from you with his own serving of slop. 

“Yeah, not quite.” You respond while poking at a hard, clay-like mound on your plate that was supposed to be mashed potatoes. 

“You’ll get used to it.” Bull stated as he sat next to you with his tray. 

You ‘psh-ed’ at Bull’s statement. 

“I highly doubt that. But I’ll make do.” You convinced yourself. “Surprisingly not the worst food I’ve had.” You added. 

“Really, there’s something out there worse than this?” Lipton asked astonished as he stirred his cold soup that looked like ketchup and water. 

“Oh yeah! Pixley and Ehler’s Diner on Clark Street in Chicago has some questionable selections.” You explained. 

“Is that where you’re from?” Corporal Frank Perconte queried as he sat next to Lipton. 

“I am.” You replied with pride. 

“You Italian then?” Guarnere asked, inviting himself to the conversation, sitting next to Perconte. 

“Italian and Irish.” You clarified. 

“Ssshh, a goddam Mick-Deigo.” Guarnere sneered crinkling his nose in disgust. 

“Leave’er alone, Gonorrhea.” Liebgott interjected sitting next to Bull. 

“I’m guessing you're Italian?” You directed at Guarnere. 

“Sicilian, actually.” He retorted. 

“Hm, you know that Sicilians aren’t real Italians, right? Sicily is just like Australia. All the criminals of Britain were shipped there to be ostracized from the mainland. Sicily is just an island of Italy’s delinquents.” You taunted. 

The others “ooooo-ed” in unison. Even Perconte who was the other Italian of Easy company. 

“She got you there, Guarnere.” Bull teased. 

Everyone laughed. Except Guarnere. 

“You think you’re funny?” Guarnere challenged. 

You sighed and looked at him deadpan in the face without an ounce of fear to show. 

“Come on, Guarnere, she was only dishing out what you gave her.” Perconte defended. 

“Shut your trap, Perconte, you should be on my side!” he said slamming a fist onto the surface of the table then pointing at him.  

The rest of the table filled up with remaining members of Easy Company that could fit that wanted to see the fight unfold. 

You folded your arms in front of you on top of the table and leaned forward, making sure you got Guarnere’s attention, then spoke with distinct fire in your voice. 

“You think I’m some dame just showing up here straight out of basic training not knowing how to handle myself with soldiers? I’ve been whistled at, barked at, howled at, catcalled, pinched, ass slapped, and manhandled by the worst of them, pal. You labeling me because of my heritage ain’t gonna do shit to me. But I’ll be damned you disrespect me like I haven’t earned the right to be respected. Just remember, I’m the one that’s going to be tending to you if you get shot in the field, sergeant.”  

You glare at him, then rise harshly from your seat, leaving the rest of the table in a state of awe and shock. 

“Good job, Gonorrhea. You pissed her off now.” Liebgott pointed out with an audible tsk. 

“Fuck her.” Guarnere spit back. 

~~~~~~~

As soon as you left the chow hall, you found a spot out of sight to catch your breath and slow your heart rate. You leaned against a post looking up towards the night sky taking deep controlled breaths. 

“Corporal L/N?” You’re startled by the voice of Lieutenant (LT) Richard Winters. You snap to attention ready to render a salute, but he waves you down. 

“As you were. Are you alright?” He asked as you relaxed your stance. 

“Yessir, just getting some fresh air.” You reassured. 

He looked at you with skepticism, not believing you were telling him the entire truth.  

You continued. 

“A room full of men who haven’t showered in a few days can make a gal lightheaded.” You joked. 

The corner of LT Winters’ mouth started to curl into a slight grin, trying his best not to laugh outloud at your quick wit. 

“I see, L/N. Well rest up, we’ll need you to be ready when we move out for the next mission.” He explained. 

“Yes, sir. Have a good night.” You replied. 

Winters gave a nod and entered the chow hall. 

LT Winters bee lined for his company’s table. His men all greeted him cheerfully as he approached the table. 

“Lieutenant, got a seat open right here.” Bull called out, gesturing to your vacant spot. 

“No thanks, Bull, I’ve eaten already.” Winters responded. He paused before he continued. 

“Just ran into Corporal L/N on the way in-” He paused again to assess the men’s reaction. 

Some continued eating, pretending like they hadn’t really heard. Lipton, Bull and Liebgott looked up at Winters waiting for him to continue. 

“She seemed somewhat troubled.” Winters finished. He waited for anyone to speak up, looking at the group expectantly. 

“Maybe her panties got all up in a twist, sir.” Guarnere offered up sarcastically. 

Some of the men chortled in response. 

Winters, Bull, Lipton, and Liebgott weren’t amused. 

“Well, she only said a room full of foul-smelling males made her dizzy and she needed fresh air.” Winters relayed, while looking at Guarnere suspiciously. 

The men all started to smell their armpits self-consciously. 

“Corporal Liebgott.” Winters called out. 

“Sir?”

“Get out there and escort L/N to her tent.” Winters instructed. 

“Yes, sir.” Liebgott acknowledged. 

“L/N will not walk around alone at night, gentlemen. I don’t care who goes with her, but make sure she always has a battle buddy in the hours of darkness. Tracking?” Winters asked, raising his voice authoritatively. 

The table responded “yes, sir” simultaneously. 

Liebgott rushed out excitedly and hustled down the street to catch you before you got too far. 

~~~~~~~

You were aways a bit ahead before Liebgott found you. 

“Hey, L/N! Wait up!” He called after you. 

You turned around looking for the voice calling your name. 

You stopped walking, waiting for Liebgott trotting over to catch up to you. 

“Can I help you?” You asked with a little more harshness in your voice than you intended. 

“As a matter of fact, I’m here to help you. I have the honor of accompanying you to your barracks.” He responded with enthusiasm and a smile. 

You were taken aback. You raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Oh?” You questioned before continuing. “That’s quite unexpectedly chivalrous of you.” 

“Well, you have Winters to thank for that, it was his idea.” He responded quite bluntly. 

You rolled your eyes.  

“Hm, I see.” You reply briskly.  

Liebgott realized he sounded like an asshole right then. 

“Of course, if you approve, I’ll appoint myself your permanent battle buddy from now on.” He extended with his signature smirk as you resumed walking together. 

You felt your face heat up. You averted your eyes to the ground so he wouldn’t see you blush. But Joseph Liebgott doesn’t miss a thing. He grinned wider. 

“If those are the LT’s orders, then have at it, Liebgott.” You replied coldly. 

“Nah, that last part was my idea.” He stated proudly. 

You shot him a confused expression, then he winked at you. 

You laughed nervously, looking away quickly to break the awkwardness you felt in the pit of your stomach. 

He smiled at you affectionately.

“And call me Joe.” He added.

“Y/N.” You reply looking up at him through your lashes.

“Look, sorry if I’m making it weird. And don’t listen to Gonorrhea. He’s just a jackass with a height deficiency. The kid always has some stupid shit to say.” He explained. 

You nod trying to suppress a giggle. 

“This is me.” You announce as you approach the entrance to your sleeping quarters. You turn to face Joe. “Thank you for the chat, and the company, Liebgott…I mean Joe.” You say dotingly. 

“Forget it. So?” He asked. 

You were genuinely confused. 

“Sooo?” You reply. 

“Am I your permanent evening escort?” he asked with a grin and a wink. 

This time you laugh outwardly at his attempt at a flirty sexual inuendo. 

“If by ‘evening escort’ you mean my nightly walk to and from one location to another, I’d have to say....I’ll think about it.” You respond flirtatiously with a wink in return. 

His face lit up. 

“Well alright then. We’ll take another test run tomorrow night.” He proposed. 

You shook your head smiling, astounded by the level of confidence this man had. 

“Good night, Joe.” You finalized as you disappear beyond the threshold of the tent entrance. 

~~~~~~~

[sanaexus]

please please please- "this better be a fucking joke"

keeping your phone back in your pocket, you try to think of an solution which isn't the easiest thing to do when your ex is breathing down on your neck. but hey! positive thoughts only right? he didn't recognize you yet, which made sense considering the last time he saw you, you probably looked like an oompa loompa with a haircut that could rival michael kaisers's, but that was in the past (right?)

suddenly something clicked, if he didn't recognize you, you could just leave without being noticed and feeling bad. so that's exactly you tried, until a voice called out to you.

"leaving so soon?" the heterochromatic called out.

"just like you did every time?" oh. OH. you weren't supposed to say that, you didn't even realise you said that.

he let out a chuckle, "credit where credits due, i was a pretty stupid kid."

"pretty is bit of an understatement no?"

"debatable, i guess i own an explanation huh?"

"you kinda sorta definately do."

"well should we head out? not anywhere far away of course, just not with much people around"

"yeah alright" is all you said before you follow him to some corner of the arcade, looking around you spot a certain blue-headed man, an unconscious smile graced your lips, which didn't go unnoticed by the man beside you.

"who's got you smiling like that?"

"can you shut up and get to the point?"

"yeah yeah, but before i do, just hear my side out i know it doesn't excuse what-"

"nothing's ever gonna excuse cheating ok no sorry continue"

"like i was saying before i was VERY rudely interrupted, i know no matter what i say, it won't justify what i did but that aside-"

suddenly you see a mop of light blue hair infront of you, T-posing for 'asserting dominance' "DON'T FEAR WHEN I AM HEAR-oh fuck wait am i interrupting something important?"

"hiori OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"gaslighting gatekeeping girlbossing of course" the man flipped his almost non existent hair and shaking some of that gyatt

"get out please get out oh my god why are you like this"

hiori before glaring at the purple headed-man, "this creature is staying?"

"yes now go, i'll call you when i need you okay?" you do a shoo-ing motion as hiori skips away.

"right uhm are they always like that..?"

"no, not really, now please for heavens sake stop stalling and explain yourself already"

"right so uh i'd like i was a very dumb high-schooler, and no doesn't excuse me cheating but i was a horny fuck, and you were always so busy i just couldn't do it anymore.."

"first of all you're still a horny fuck, and second why didn't you just end it then why did you have to resort to cheating..?" you were trying really hard not to cry but the voice crack probably gave you away, even just the thought of you not moving on from him nearly 2 years later, disgusted you.

"i don't know, i liked you i really did and i didn't wanna lose it but i didn't want to stay either, and i couldn't exactly explain myself, so i resorted to cheating." he explained, it was confusing if he really was feeling guilty and regretful.

"oh, uh i forgive you, ok no i don't but i've moved on from that, we were just kids and shit happens and i can't always hold it against you relationship goes both ways and so does the break up."

"i'm glad we got that cleared out wait you forgive me, so does that mean i can take you out on a date maybe?" he asked a bit hopeful

"oh my god aik-oliver you haven't changed at all, have you?"

"not aiku this time? you wound me, but is that a yes?"

"nope i still need some time to think uh how about you give me your number and i text you within this week if we can go out?"

"yeah that sounds nice." you take out your phone handing it to him as he types his number and saving it as "baby daddy"

"oh ew oliver ew!" you make fake gagging noises.

"hey! i'm not that disgusting...right?"

"i never said that, you're putting words in my mouth, but it was nice meeting again i'll see you around yeah?" and before you could reply you run off to find hiori and when you don't (big shocker) you figured you'd let the gc know (big mistake btw)

please please please ¡! - an isagi yoichi social media fic

synopsis modeling was fun, especially when you go to make friends and what happens when that exact friend goes to the same high school? the friendship of course continues into college. where you get your heart broken and the internet gets to know but then you meet a certain someone that makes you fall for them. so what happens then? chaos.

taglist is open¡! : @fairlyfuji , @semisutopia, @someprettyname , @csbnova , @ashlovelys , @chateaaa , @yeurisstuff , @starchivves , @m3gitsune ,@muffin-0 , @gojosexpiredcum , @bbmsxlene , @profesionalglazer

divider by @/xxbimbobunnyxx. all credits to her!

sorry guys no funfacts today 🙁 GUYS TRUST ISAGI WILL COME JS LET ME COOK PLS 🗣🗣💯💯🤬🤬😎😎💣💣🔥🔥‼‼💯💯🔛🔝

also I AM SO SORRY WHY IS THIS SO BAD WHY CAN'T I WRITE SHIT OMG I'M GONNA CRY also maybe double update bc i dont wanna fall off and seeing 99+ notifs makes me happy

[wolken-himmel]

In which (Y/n) likes to cook Deuce food as a way of showing affection.

He doesn't seem to really understand the implications of the prefect's gesture, though.

Request by anon.

"Hey, how come you only make food for Deuce? I'm also hungry!"

"Stop complaining and eat your apple, Ace."

"No, (Y/n)! I don't want an apple... I want sandwiches, like the ones you made for Deuce."

It was just another schoolday during the afternoon that the four of you spent lounging beneath a tree in the courtyard. A few other groups sat huddled amongst each other nearby, although the courtyard was only sparsely populated.

A small discussion had broken out between Ace and you as soon as he had seen you open your bag to hand a carefully wrapped lunch box to Deuce. A shy giggle escaped your lips when your fingers brushed his when you gave the box to him. Deuce had taken the box eagerly, an aloof smile on his lips.

Grim crossed his arms in dismay. "You're right, Ace." His curious eyes watched as the blue-haired boy set aside the lid and pulled out a carefully crafted sandwich. Despite the absence of tuna, the cat still felt his stomach rumble painfully. "I don't get any special treatment by my henchhuman, either... What has this world come to?"

"Maybe (Y/n) just likes me more than you," Deuce said with a grin, though the smugness of his voice soon ebbed away again. All that remained was a satisfied look in his eyes after he had gulped down his first bite. "Of course, I was just joking. Thank you for the food, (Y/n). I very much appreciate it."

"N-No issue, Deuce!" Your fingers wrestled with one another nervously while you watched for his reaction. When his eyes met yours again though, you couldn't help but avert your gaze. "I hope you like it."

"Everything you make is tasty," he said with a full mouth.

Still dissatisfied by your stubbornness when it came to anyone but your little favourite Heartslabyul boy, Ace turned to Grim and furrowed his eyebrows. "Deuce may have meant it as a joke, but I think he's really onto something there," the red-head mumbled, so that only the cat could hear him. "Do you think...?"

"Yes, it could be very possible," Grim replied without having heard the whole question.

You eyed the duo suspiciously after having recovered from your interaction with Deuce. At the large grins these two troublemakers wore, you narrowed your eyes at them. "What could be 'very possible'?"

A confident grin graced Grim's face. "Well, we have a certain theory. Would you like to continue, Detective Ace?"

"Why, thank you, my assistant," Ace replied with a posh accent. Being referred to as assistant had Grim seething, but his complaining was stopped by a single raised hand. The red-head's eyes gazed you up and down critically. "The two of us have suspicions that you might have a crush on our idiot friend."

"Shhhh—!" you cried out in desperation and waved your arms around.

Much to your horror, Deuce perked up at the sudden accusation. His food lay forgotten in his lap while he finished chewing a carrot. "Really?" he asked you with wide eyes. "You have a crush on someone? What's their name? Do you also cook for them?"

While Ace and Grim began laughing their souls out, you were left to defend what remained of your honour. With your cheeks as hot as a campfire, you managed to seethe out, "You really are an idiot, Deuce..."

"What?" He tilted his head to the side in confusion, a gesture you found awfully adorable. "Where did that suddenly come from?"

You gritted your teeth together, hating the thought that you would have to literally spell the situation out to him. Yet, you were left no other choice when he merely pressured you with another confused look. A string of curses escaping your lips, you threw your hands into the air in exasperation. "I thought it was obvious with the lunch boxes I always make for you. I don't cut the carrots into hearts just for anyone," you whispered awkwardly.

For a while, your monologue left him speechless. "I didn't know I was special." His eyes were as wide as saucers.

"Well," you breathed out shyly, "you are very special to me, Deuce."

Your little moment was interrupted by Ace's obnoxious laughter. He scooted closer to his friend and punched his shoulder. "Have you finally figured out who (Y/n) has a crush on, Deuce?" he asked while snatching the other half of the sandwich for himself.

Deuce remained silent for a while. But when realisation came to him, it came down crashing hard. In his panic, he almost threw the lunch box to the ground with how quickly he jumped to his feet. "Oh." His intense gaze made you feel small and scared. When he noticed your squirming, his eyes softened apologetically. "Oh! I never realised— I never realised you had a crush on me..."

"Finally..." Ace breathed out and took another bite of the sandwich.

"Took him an eternity..." Grim nodded along, eagerly grabbing a heart-shaped carrot piece when Ace offered it to him.

A soft sigh escaped your lips, and you only reluctantly raised your gaze to observe Deuce's expression. "I-It's alright..." you muttered awkwardly. You could at least try to salvage the situation as best as possible. "I was always too shy to say it to you outright, Deuce."

He didn't reply, though. The silence left you squirming even more in discomfort.

"I think his brain stopped working," Grim muttered between big bites.

The entire situation came crashing down upon Deuce all at once, like a large wall that had just crumbled down upon him and buried him alive. As if he had just returned from the dead, he jolted up and stared at you with wide eyes. "You like me? Me?" he cried out and buried his face in his shaking hands. "The lunch boxes make sense now..."

You put a hand on his shoulder. "Deuce? Are you alright?"

"Oh right, I'm sorry." He took a deep breath, and he finally managed to get his act together. When he removed his hands from his face, he revealed a beaming smile to you. Your heart skipped a few beats when he took his hand into yours. "Well, (Y/n)... what do you think of us cooking together sometime. Like a... date?"

"I would love to."

"You could cook stuff for us!" Ace suggested and eyed the empty lunch box in dismay.

Grim nodded along eagerly. "I mean, we brought you two together, after all."

[kisses-for-you]

Jealous - Dick Grayson

Dick Grayson x Fem!Reader

Summary: Hank flirts with you jokingly but Dick doesn't like that.

Word Count: 1,015

"Good morning, everyone," the husky voice broke the morning's light atmosphere. Hank, with tousled bed hair, lethargically snags a cup from the upper cabinet, his gaze locking onto you in an instant. "You look good today, Y/N," he blurts out, seemingly oblivious to Dick's sly gaze or maybe deliberately choosing to ignore it.

"Thank you, Hank!" you respond, gracefully shrugging off the compliment with a warm smile, all the while Dick's frown deepens, a silent undercurrent of tension in the room.

The daily flirtation routine was starting to get on Dick's nerves. It had started with just innocent little compliments but soon progressed to touches and suggestive jokes. Was he exaggerating? Maybe. But the whole scene was stupid and he didn't like it. It didn't matter to him if Hank was just trying to be funny or if you really didn't pay attention to it, he was about to throw hands with the king of comedy if he didn't stop this soon.

Observing Hank's amused gaze and the mischievous grin on his face, Dick couldn't help but feel a rising frustration. "You know," Hank said, taking a casual sip from his cup, his eyes locking onto Dick's, knowing what he was about to say would cause Dick to absolutely lose it. Hank continues, his words dripping with confidence, "We would make a great couple. I mean, you're a beautiful girl, and I'm pretty handsome. We'd be a power couple without a doubt."

Dick clenches his jaw, the muscles working overtime. He's about two seconds away from intervening and teaching Hank a lesson. The way you laughed at Hank's joke didn't make him feel any better.

You notice Dick's sudden change in behavior, his eyes narrowing with frustration, and realize he's about to start walking over to Hank. You have to ease the tension. "I'm sorry to tell you, but Dick and I are the ultimate power couple," you say, injecting a hint of playful confidence into your words. A small smile plays on your face, hoping to ease the building tension in the air.

Not even that managed to soothe his frayed nerves. Dick needed to step aside and cool down. This whole fiasco was really pissing him off and he wasn't sure what to do. Leaning in, he whispers in your ear that he needs to go finish some paperwork in your shared bedroom before leaving abruptly. Despite the urge to follow him, you decide not to. He probably needs some time to himself. Instead, you stay in the kitchen with Hank, joking around with one another.

Dick didn't like to label himself as the jealous type. He didn't mind you having guy friends, being nice to other men or anything like that. But that scene was just too much for him. Even after hours, Dick could still feel the rage bubbling in his chest, which seemed to refuse to be extinguished by mundane paperwork. Rubbing his weary eyes, the pronounced bags beneath them reveal the exhaustion that he's feeling.

You decide it's time to talk to Dick. You walk over to your bedroom, knocking on the door before entering. He turns around at the sound of the door opening. "You okay, Dick?" your sweet voice asks.

His sigh conveys a mix of weariness and frustration, and as you step into the room with genuine concern, he averts his eyes, grappling with unspoken emotions, knowing that his anger is aimed at Hank, not you. "Yeah, I'm fine," he says nonchalantly, trying to brush off the question.

You chew on your bottom lip, sensing that now might not be the ideal time to comfort Dick. "Really? Because it didn't seem like that when we were in the kitchen," you venture cautiously. Dick lets out an exasperated huff.

He takes a seat on the edge of the bed, running a frustrated hand through his tousled brown hair, already annoyed by how this conversation was going. "Well, maybe it's because Hank was flirting with you."

You sigh, knowing he's annoyed with you. "We're just friends, Dick. It's not a big deal-" But before you can continue, he cuts you off. "Don't start with that bullshit." His interruption is sharp. "I'm not comfortable seeing Hank touching you and talking to you as if he was your boyfriend, okay? It pisses me off. I'm fine if you two are friends, but that kind of shit just gets on my nerves."

"So you're jealous?" You respond, starting to walk over to him. Dick's stare intensifies, his expression serious. There were a few things that could trigger him, but you couldn't believe that something like this could put him in such a bad mood. "Hank just does that to mess with you. He told me himself." Dick stayed silent. That was still awful for him.

"Hey, don't be upset. You know you're the only one for me," you reassure, feeling the need to bridge the emotional gap. He lets out a small hum, wrapping an arm around your waist. "Dick, you're the man I love, alright?" You tilt your head, locking eyes with him and closing the distance. "I love you, flaws and all," you confess, your arms finding their place around his neck.

Dick's lips curl into a faint smile at your confession. "Yeah?" he asks in a gentle tone, allowing a subtle vulnerability to break through his serious demeanor.

"Of course," you respond. The air crackled with tension as Dick closed the distance between you with a heated kiss. His grip on your waist tightened, sending a rush of warmth through you.

The frustration that had gripped Dick seemed to melt away in that moment, replaced by the warmth of your reassurance. Breaking away, he rests his forehead against yours, a soft smile playing on his lips. "Sorry for being a bit of an ass back there," he says, his voice carrying a mixture of regret and relief.

You chuckle lightly, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead. "Apology accepted. Just remember, I'm all yours," you say, your words punctuated by a tender peck on his cheek.

[esmedelacroix]

7 days til' Christmas

pregnant!reader goes grocery shopping with husband!miguel o'hara ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

15 days til' christmas ← previous part

----------------------------------------------------------------------

You thought that the first day of trying to hide your pregnancy from Miguel would be easy but boy, were you wrong. Miguel left for work a lot earlier in the morning, and you went to your practice and came straight home for your break. You couldn't find anything you liked amongst the Tupperware of foods that had your mouth watering the day before.

You decided to just snack on some pickles and Nutella. As soon as you knew it, you had finished the whole jar of pickles. It was only then that you realized you had eaten a whole jar of pickles. You hated pickles. But you didn't want to stop eating them.

You went through all of the rest of your shift wanting nothing but pickles and Nutella. It was a strange pregnancy craving but once you tried it, you were hooked.

Once Miguel got home you immediately asked him to go grocery shopping even though he had done some shopping the day before. "Alright, what did we come here for?" Miguel asks as he pushes the cart for you.

"Pickles and Eggnog," you said.

Miguel chuckled and asked, "Okay, okay that was funny, what are we actually here for?"

"Um, I wasn't joking..." you said blankly.

He still let out a soft chuckle but looked into your eyes, "Is that actually what you want? You hate those things?" he asked.

"Well I tried them out and now I like them," you answered.

"Okay," he said as he looked at you like he was solving a 40000-piece jigsaw puzzle.

The two of you ended up getting other random foods that you needed and other stuff that you snuck into the cart. "Who put a pineapple in?" Miguel started. You bring your finger up to his lips and shake your head for him to not even question it.

Once the two of you got home you continued to snack on your pickles and Nutella. "What are you eating babe?" Miguel chuckled.

"You've been really strange about food recently," Miguel commented as he plopped down on the couch next to you.

"I just want to stop being so picky about food," you insisted.

"Alright then let me try this food combo," he said as ate one of the pickles with Nutella on it. You watched his face scrunch up before he forced a smile.

"So, what do you think?" you asked.

"This is the worst thing ever," he chuckles, earning a giggle from you.

"All jokes aside though, is everything okay? These kinds of cravings are very strange," he asked.

No, I'm pregnant and I really want to surprise you on Christmas, you thought to yourself.

"Yes, Seriously I'm fine," you reassured as you snuggled into him.

"Okay, I hope you feel comfortable telling me whenever something is going on," he says. He was very trusting in you but he also could tell when you weren't exactly telling the truth.

"I mean eggnog? Seriously?" he quipped.

"Okay, yeah, I don't know where that came from. But it's so good!" you said.

That night the fireplace crackled and Miguel had fallen asleep with his head resting on your lap. You ran your fingers through his hair as he slept. "I know you can't hear me, but it's killing me trying to keep this pregnancy from you. I just want to surprise you on Christmas day when you see that positive pregnancy test," you said.

Admitting it to him even though he was asleep and wouldn't know the next day, lifted a weight off your chest. Just 6 more days till Christmas, you thought to yourself as you began to doze off and fall asleep on the couch with him.

. . .

next part → 6 days til' christmas

----------------------------------------------------------------------

taglist:

@aripet22@to-the-endoftheline

[crisis-starter]

Hello

I did not expect to write Odile’s moment in less than half a day.

Stars, its twice as long as Mirabelle’s and that took me 2 or 3 days to do.

Well, anyways, I hope you enjoy!

)•{+}•<>+<>•{+}•(

Odile was by the staircase in the final room, waiting to talk with Siffrin. The entire trek through the house was filled to the brim with suspicious activity. Facial expressions, behaviors… it was all strange. And with the knowledge of Wish Craft and Time Craft… she had an idea of what was happening. Bonnie was seemingly thinking about something. She had never seen the child be so quiet before. And Isabeau was looking right at her. Siffrin was chatting with Mirabelle, so she awaited them. Soon they will have to talk to her, she could feel it.

Then she felt the slight twinge of Craft. Isabeau wasn’t looking at her anymore, instead performing an odd kind of craft, if his hand was any indication. And then she heard his voice in her head:

‘M’dame Odile. Please. Whatever you are planning to do right now? At least be gentle.’

Odile copied the hand signal she saw Isabeau making before replying, “He’s trapped himself, and subsequently the entirety of Vaugarde in time! Perhaps even worse than the King! And you don’t want me to say my piece?”

‘I am not saying that you shouldn’t say something. I’m saying that, if you are, please don’t push him. He is already that close to the edge.’

Odile was silent. Skeptical. She had an idea of Isabeau’s stance, but this really couldn’t go unsaid. Siffrin was hiding something that clearly felt like common knowledge to everyone except her. And Isabeau had this… worry in his voice. Like he knew something she didn’t.

‘M’dame. I… I can’t tell you right now. Because we’re on a time limit. But I will tell you what I remember seeing once we get back. Here’s to hoping you remember what happens next.’

Isabeau cut the connection there. Odile looked at Siffrin, and realized why. The rogue had finished talking with Mirabelle. She put her hand down and returned to reading through the notes of her investigation. Siffrin approached her, a seemingly disinterested expression on his face. The two glanced at each other before Odile started talking, “Ah. Woop woop, we did it, we won, etc.”

She wanted to start soft, somewhat. So why not comment on how she feels after the fight with the King? She continued, “Urgh. Whatever. This was… quite a workout. My entire body is screaming.” Odile rolled her shoulders a little. She did feel somewhat sore, “Savior of Vaugarde, huh? That’s something to add to my list of accomplishments.”

Maybe mulling over any future plans may help a smoother transition? She didn’t know. She never said she was… good at this, “But now, I can finally go back to traveling. I’d be curious to visit more Vaugardian cities and hear what they have to say about an event like this. It’ll be weird to travel alone now, but I’ll get used to it again. Or I could just go home to Ka Bue… Hm…” Maybe she could convince the others to travel with her? Not right now, that would be too… embarrassing. Everyone here has their own life. She didn’t want them to put it aside so easily over a grown woman not wanting to leave without a proper goodbye and happy, stress-free memories to take with her.

Siffrin hid in their collar as they spoke, “To do your fake research?” There it was. Another suspicious detail. How they knew her research was fake was a bit of a mystery but she needed to say something, “…Yes. My fake research…” She probably looked a bit… frustrated there. She quickly fixed her expression, “Don’t tell anyone. I’d like to see Isabeau try to figure it out for a little longer. Very excited to hear what he comes up with next. Spoonology? Bananalogy?” Siffrin’s expression changed to that of an odd smile. A fabricated one. Concern began to blossom in her heart.

Maybe Isabeau was right.

Siffrin joked, “Bananalogy would be quite aPEELing.” Odile didn’t find it funny. But… at least fake something, “Hah… Yes.” Her face softened, “Ha… I’ll miss you, Siffrin. You’re a little strange, but you’re a good kid. Maybe try letting down your walls every once in a while, huh?” The researcher felt a smile sneak onto her face, “And come to Ka Bue anytime. Maybe we’ll meet again during your travels.” Odile really hoped so. Siffrin forced himself to smile. Wait.

Odile looked at Siffrin, concern fueling her entire being, “…Siffrin, is everything-“ Siffrin’s expression flashed into something akin to confusion for a second. Odile looked around. Bonnie, Mirabelle, and Isabeau were looking at her, worried. Great. She had spectators now. But… was she the main act? She sighed, hoping to brush off the added tension. She hoped that this would go smoothly. Odile asked, softly, “But really, is everything okay?” Siffrin is back to that fabricated smile, “What do you mean?”

Oh… Oh this is how things will have to go, huh. She continued, “I don’t know, Siffrin. You’ve felt off since yesterday. More withdrawn, mostly. Tell me what’s wrong.” Siffrin continued avoiding the question, “Nothing’s wrong!” This defiance… it was messing with Odile’s patience. But she was trying, “…it’s okay if you don’t want to tell me, you know. I’ll find out eventually.” She probably already did. Maybe everyone did, and she doesn’t remember. Siffrin replied, hiding in their collar again, “But I’m not hiding anything.” And that was the final straw. All attention was on them both. She was starting to get a headache. Time to lay it all out, no matter how harsh it felt.

Odile looked at Siffrin, abandoning any kind of calm or leniency, “Is that so.” She made her frustration known, “Is that so? So Time Craft has nothing to do with you?” Siffrin dropped the facade and grew shocked, “No that’s-“ Odile will not let him deny it. She continued, noticing Isabeau trying to approach. No. She needed to say her piece, “And the fact that you knew how to read that book about Wish Craft… Knew how to wish correctly, when no one else did… It doesn’t mean anything, either?”

Siffrin gave that fake smile, only more shaky, “It’s not like that, I-“ She was cornering them. No more excuses, just continue, “And the way you’re acting, doing that stupid smile like nothing’s wrong… It doesn’t mean anything, either?!?” The smile was dropped. Siffrin was looking at Odile, shaken. Silent. There’s more evidence.

She looked away slightly, still stern, “I’m not stupid, Siffrin. If I find something strange, I can do nothing except give it my full attention.” She turned her attention back to Siffrin, “And you are acting strange.” Siffrin looked stressed. Staring at her with this need to run away, but being unable to. Her headache was getting worse. She’ll deal with it later.

It was at this point she made her anger known, “There were so many signs… I did not understand them, but now I do! You’ve been acting strange since you woke up from your nap, yesterday!” She started to ramble on about more evidence that came to mind, “When we talk to you, you act out of it, almost bored… And the way you reacted to the rocks falling… We all jumped, but you just looked at them fall, calmly.” Odile rose her voice again, “And there’s so many other things, the way you reacted to so many things throughout our entire journey through the House!” The researcher faltered a little, “And, and… How every time you found the keys we needed to proceed, you didn’t seem surprised, like you knew exactly where they were. Even that key in the classroom. Almost like…” Odile looked at Siffrin for answers, “…Like you had found them before, maybe?”

Siffrin started to grow panicked, “B-but that’d be impossible, though!” Isabeau was looking at the two of them, nervous yet willing to step in. Siffrin attempted to reason. To save themselves, “How could I have known where the keys were when it’s my first time here?!?” Odile, frustrated, asked, “I don’t know, Siffrin, why don’t you enlighten me?!” Siffrin’s breathing was escalating. Odile continued, “Don’t think I believed that whole ‘I wished croissants would disappear~’ thing, too. So, if you lied about your wish… What did you wish for, then? That’s it, isn’t it?” The researcher looked at her hands, “Did something happen? To you, to us? Did we die against the King, maybe?” Odile looked up, spotting Siffrin pulling at his hair. Oh no. She only had one thing left to say, then she could try to start calming Siffrin down. It’ll be okay. She finished by asking, “Is that why you’re repeating the same events, Siffrin?” She was about to maybe ask Siffrin to calm down and relax before it happened.

Siffrin snapped back, “SHUT UP!!!”

Everyone was startled by the outburst. Odile herself was shaken. Isabeau was right. She couldn’t be a bit softer, huh? And now, Siffrin was on the edge of a breakdown. The traveler continued, breath ragged and irregular, “Even if you figure it out, Odile… It’s too late! It’s too late! It’s always too late!!!” Siffrin looked right into Odile’s eyes as they spoke, a combination of panic and rage in his eyes, “Did you have to figure it all out now, when it’s all about to end? You can’t help me, Odile!!! No one can!!!”

Isabeau was stunned, muttering a quiet, “Sif, Odile…?” Bonnie was hidden behind Mirabelle, asking, “What’s happening? Why are you yelling?” …When did they get so close? Odile’s headache was getting worse. The air started to feel strange. Her heart was pounding in her ears.

Siffrin continued, erratic, “It’s too late!!! YOU CAN’T HELP ME!!!” Odile tried to get a word in, but couldn’t. So she continued to listen to Siffrin’s pleas, “And I think, weirdly, I don’t even want you to help me?” Siffrin gave a panicked smile, “Why don’t I want you to help me?”

Odile felt her hands shaking. What… was this her fault? Was she the final straw? All she could really do was try to ask them to calm down, “Siffrin-“ But she couldn’t even do that without being cut off, “Maybe because I know that if you help me, you’ll start hating me!!!”

What?

“Because I don’t know why this is all happening, but-“

Wait.

“It must be because of me, that we’re repeating the same events!!!”

Siffrin stop. Please, you’ll hurt-

“And if you knew that, you’d hate me-“

Mirabelle cried out, “Siffrin?!” Maybe to snap him out of it. The air tasted like sugar. A taste so strong, it was horrible. A terrible omen. Siffrin continued, “And I don’t want you to hate me. So, so, so-“

And everything stopped before everyone was sent back to their places. Odile was silent. She decided… to say something, “Siffrin, please. You don’t… have to talk to me. But I will find out somehow. What’s causing you… harm.” She already knew. But maybe it was more comforting to claim ignorance. Siffrin quickly fabricated a smile before cheerfully saying, “Maybe, teehee!”

That… that felt unsettling.

Bonnie, Mirabelle, and Isabeau looked at Odile, worried. Odile herself? She wanted to sit down. She felt faint. That was so much information to take in at once.

Just how… how deep has Siffrin buried himself?

Siffrin faced her, the same chilling smile on their face. Odile stated, “Alright, well, if that was all…” Siffrin took this as his cue to leave as Isabeau straightened his act up.

Once Siffrin was gone, Odile sat down on the stairs. Her headache was gone, but she felt guilty. She just sat there silently, internalizing information.

It seemed that her spacing out helped pass by sooner, because she soon found Isabeau by her side, trying to check if she was doing okay. She could barely hear him.

Her eyes were on Siffrin. They hesitated a little before trying to talk to the Head Housemaiden. Then they approached her. They happily told Euphrasie about something. She responded happily.

Then the pressure in the air grew. Something was wrong. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that out. The Head Housemaiden was dismayed. Siffrin pleaded with her.

She crouched down to Siffrin’s level, cupping the rogue’s cheeks with her hands. She made sure she was close to Siffrin as tears streamed down her face. Siffrin was stunned. He couldn’t move. The world grew darker. Something was happening. Something was oh so horribly wrong.

A lightless shade almost appeared to engulf everything. For a split second, Odile saw something. Hundreds of silhouettes. They all looked just like Siffrin. All looking at Euphrasie. And then…

She awoke and stumbled back, nearly crashing into the shelf behind her. Her heart was pounding. So she attempted to calm down. Then she heard someone enter the shop.

Isabeau was trying to catch his breath at the entrance. He looked at Odile, worried, “Are you alright, M’dame?” Odile just looked at him, shocked. Her hands were shaking again. Isabeau sighed, “So… you remember, hm?”

)•{+}•<>+<>•{+}•(

This was VERY fun to write.

So… those are the 4 “loop awakenings”.

I’ll compile them all in chronological order and post it to AO3 (which was the original plan but I felt like you folks would like it).

I hope you have a good day/night! Until next time!

[restlesswritings]

NCT REACTIONS:

NCT 127 Reaction to you wearing their clothes

A/N: Requests are open; I removed Taeil from and will not be including him in my works. (For obvious reasons) Pairing: NCT 127 x GN Reader Genre: Fluff Warnings: Suggestive, Cursing Masterlists : NCT JPOP KPOP

Taeyong

After a shower you quietly make your way into the room to see Taeyong sitting on the edge of the bed, already in his pajamas, scrolling through his phone. "Hi baby.” You say, making your way to the bed and getting under the covers. He doesn't notice you at first when he looks up to shoot you a smile but as soon as he registers your attire his head flies back up, shock evident on his gorgeous features as he looks at you with wide eyes. "Wha! Y/N.. you're wearing my shirt?" He asks shocked, stumbling over his words as he takes in how his clothes make you look more delicate than normal. "I hope you don't mind.. I forgot to grab my pjs.." You say sheepishly, he shakes his head with a smile on his lips. "I love it.. damn you look so good jagi, I can't stand it." He says, letting out a laugh with a flushed face as he lays down next to you before pulling you onto him, crashing his lips onto yours.

Johnny

Johnny’s eyes light up when he notices you walking towards him but his eyebrows soon furrow when he realizes what shirt you are wearing. “Y/N, I didn’t think you’d look this good in my clothes, you little t-shirt thief!” He says with a loud laugh and snort as he runs to you, the other members now looking in your direction causing you to blush. “Yah! It looked so comfy I couldn’t not wear it!” You defend yourself while crossing your arms over your chest with a fake pout causing your giant boyfriend to smile down at you, “Damn babe.. you look actually so adorable like that” He says before pulling you into his arms, squishing you in the process. “I ca-can’t br-breath you big goof!” You say through giggles. “Well that’s what you get for stealing my clothes!” He says with a laugh before adding. "All jokes aside, I really like seeing you in my clothes." He says before placing a kiss on your forehead.

Yuta

“Come on Y/N! I’m getting antsy out here!” Yuta yells dramatically from the other side of the bathroom door causing you to roll your eyes as you finish pulling his t-shirt over your head. “I’m coming!” You tell your boyfriend as you walk out of the bathroom causing him to immediately burst out in giggles as he takes in how adorable you look. “Damn jagi! You look so cute !” He says with a big smile, squeezing the pillow in his hands. "You like it?" You ask with a giggle before he gets up, catching you by surprise when he pulls you into a quick kiss before you can say anything, booping your nose with his finger. “I really, really do.. Oh! You should try one of my button ups next! I like seeing you in my clothes.." He says before a mischievous smirk graces his lips. "And without them..” He says with a wink and a big toothy grin before finding his previous spot on the bed, leaving you blushing.

Doyoung

Doyoung walks through the door whistling, he comes to a stop in his spot as he takes in your attire before taking a deep breath. With red ears he walks over to the couch causing you to look over at him with a warm smile. "Hi baby, how was rehearsal?" You ask, sending a smile towards him, completely unaware of his stare. "Uh it was good..” He says, continuing looking at you causing you to look up at him and shift in your seat. “What's wrong?” You ask, sending a look of concern to your boyfriend. “Uh.. is that my shirt?" He asks while scratching the back of his neck. "Oh yeah! I got my shirt messy and didn't have an extra change of clothes here, is that okay?" You ask, scooting closer to him causing him to let out a stream of giggles. "Y-yes! It looks good on you." He reassures with a flushed face causing you to shake your head and pull him into a hug. "Thank you goof!"

Jaehyun

"Okay I got you the dumplings because they didn't hav-" Your words cut off by your Jaehyun. “Wow babe, you look..” He says with a smirk, pulling you into his arms. "Wha- what are you doing?" You ask, confusion evident on your features. "You look so good in my t-shirt Y/N.." He says, kissing your neck, causing a giggle to escape your lips. "Yah! The food is getting cold!” You say, a blush creeping up your cheeks as you playfully push him away. “And as much as I want to continue this we aren't doing anything in your studio big boy." You say, poking a finger into his hard chest, a laugh bubbling out of his throat as he puts his hands up in defense, giving you a big smile. "Okay, okay.. fair enough but can you maybe wear MY clothes around the house next time so I can do something about it?" He asks with a wink, quickly kissing your cheek and snatching the bag of food from you, leaving you with a flushed face.

Jungwoo

You can't help the big smile plastered on your face as you make your way down the hallway to see your boyfriend, excited to show Jungwoo your outfit. You look around, smile widening when you see him running over to you, his eyes immediately widen when he sees the outfit you put together, noticing how well his cropped t-shirt suits you. "Y/N! I love it, you look.. incredible!" He exclaims, pulling you into his arms, spinning you around causing a giggle to escape your lips before he puts you back down. "I didn't think it would look good-" You start with a big smile, looking up at him as he cuts off your words. "Seriously jagi.. I can't take my eyes off you.." He says, pulling you closer to him, kissing the top of your head. You smile at his sweet affection as you wrap your arms around his waist, "I love you." You say, earning a toothy smile from your boyfriend. "I love you too." He says before his lips meet yours.

Mark

"Can I wear your hoodie, Mark?" You ask your boyfriend as you make your way into the living room, already wearing said hoodie. "Wha- hahaha you already have it on!" He says through laughter, clutching his stomach as you shoot him a smile. "Of course you can!" He adds, patting the seat next to him on the couch. "Thank you baby" You say as you plop down next to him, raising an eyebrow when you notice his eyes on you. "Wait hold on, you actually look so cute in my clothes Y/N.." He says with a giggle, turning to look down at your body in his hoodie, a small grin forms on his face. You shoot a smile at him in return before he looks up at you with a different expression. "Stop looking at me like that!" You whine, playfully hitting his shoulder, which only causes him to burst out into laughter. "I can't help it! Jagi you look so cute" He defends, pulling you closer. "Thank youuu" You coo, snuggling into his warm body.

Haechan

"Yah jagi, Johnny just invit-" Haechan says out of breath as he bursts through the bedroom door, going silent as his eyes land on you, wearing his sweater. "What?" You ask, a little confused by your boyfriend's sudden silence, “Hello?? Earth to Haechan?" You say with a giggle, looking at him, eyebrows pulled together as you wait for his response. "You're wearing my sweater?" He asks with a smirk now dancing on his lips, as he pulls at the bottom of the sweater playfully. "I didn't think this was something I needed to see.. until now.." He adds, causing a laugh to escape your lips. "So you’re not mad that I stole it??" You say, adding a wink in his direction. "No, it is completely okay" He responds with a serious expression on his face as his eyes trail your body again causing you to laugh as he pulls you into his embrace. "Wait, what about Johnn-" Your words cut off by his lips capturing yours.

A/N: Wow.. my thoughts are everywhere after that

[inactivewattpadauthor]

Kabal x Reader: Usual Visit

~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Pleasure doing business with ya as always, Flash." The red eyed Aussie grins wickedly at Kabal after handing him today's cut. The fast man smirks beneath the mask, counting through his pay like a child in triumph after doing such simple allowance.

Simple tasks such as terrorizing and killing a few people for Kano due to late fees they never paid back. How unfortunate for them, but to Kabal - and definitely Kano - a job is a job.

"Don't spend it all on hooks and hookers." Kano joked before dismissing Kabal off.

"Right," Kabal scoffed with amusement. "I have better things to spend it on." Without giving Kano the chance to pretend to be interested enough to ask, Kabal dashed off in his usual abnormal speed. Far outside the clan, he runs to a big house on a hill. Thank the gods, no cars were outside, and he's willing to bet there isn't one inside the garage.

Carefully, he walks around the house to the back and knocks on a specific window.

...

You peered at the window, putting down your brush and walking to see who it was. Pushing the blinds away, you smile happily to see your masked friend. Opening the window with a little struggle, you greet him. "Kabal!" You lean over to kiss his cheek affectionately. If only you see the goofy, flustered smirk beneath his mask.

"Hey, Y/n! Doing well today?" He asks charmingly.

"Fine as usual. I don't take my medication until about an hour, so I'm not drowsy yet." You shrug with an aloof hint. But you didn't want to bring down the mood. "What did you do today? Beat any bad guys?!" Your eyes sparkled, hoping he has a cool story on how great of a hero he is.

"Ehh, just a few." Kabal says, tilting his hand side to side. "No one too powerful, but I still got a good amount of money from it." The boasting continues. You were slightly disappointed, not because there wasn't much of a story today, but-

"I thought heroes don't get paid." You murmur with furrowed brows. You folded your arms on the window frame and rested your chin, looking at him, downed.

"Well, yeah- but I need to eat too, you know?"

"I guess." You agree with the easy excuse, much to his relief.

"I've actually forgot something for you! I'll be back in not even three seconds." Kabal promises. You lifted your head up and raised an eyebrow at him. It feels like a dare.

"Really? One-"

A gust of wind flew through your hair as Kabal rushes off, your heart skipping a beat or two before he suddenly appears back with a small bouquet of flowers. He makes sure to rip the price tag off before you notice. "Sorry, a few of the petals came off on the way back." He hands his gift to you.

The flowers were still pretty nevertheless. They brought a warm smile to your face, the joy radiating from you to Kabal. "They're beautiful! Thanks!"

"No problem. Is there something else I can do for you?"

Setting your gift gently aside, you thought for a moment. "Well, father doesn't let me order food online. For awhile, I've been wanting to try that bakery from down-" You weren't given the chance to finish your sentence before he rushes off again.

Briefly he returns with a fancy bag for you. Inside was a fancy plastic box of macarons - and you knew those were pricy - along with fresh strawberries, covered in chocolate. One of your favorite treats that made you disregard sadness. "Ohh, thank you so much, Kabal. I'll go get my-"

"No need, princess." Kabal 'humbly' raises his hand. "It's my treat to treat you."

You softly coo at him before you hear the garage open. Readjusting your gown you stood up, alerted. "My dad's back. You should probably go now." You warn him. He nods and steps back.

"I'll visit you again soon, okay?"

"Okay." You smile once more. "Thank you for stopping by."

Kabal takes off before he gets caught. As for you, you hid the flowers somewhere. Before you hid your treats, you took one out to eat it before hiding it.

What an admirable hero Kabal is. ~~~~~~~~~~~~

[ripmyselfxd]

Never Forget - (Joao Felix)

Pairing- Joao Felix x fem!reader

Summary- Joao is in a game when his coach pulls him aside, telling him the worst news he had ever heard

Warnings- ANGST!! Sad, very sad. Nothing happy

”Here is halftime, the teams will be back soon.” The announcers announced, Joao stormed off of the field, very pissed off because he has missed 2 shots already. He was also mad because he and you had a fight earlier, and you left. As he comes off of the field his assistant coach runs up to him, ‘Now what?!’ He thinks. “Joao!” He yells, waving his arms. “What?!” Joao says as he sits down drinking water, his coach has wide eyes as he says, “You have a call.” Joao is confused, why would he have a call at 9:47 in the night and more importantly, why would someone call him at his game? He snatches the phone from his coaches hand, “Hello?” He tries to keep his cool because he doesn’t know who he is talking to. “Hello? Is this Joao… Felix?” He doesn’t recognize the voice, it is a female voice. “Yes this is him, what do you need?” He grips the phone harder, trying his best not to snap. “Do you have any connection with (Y/N) (Y/L/N)?” He immediately calms down, then becomes worried, “Yes, she is my girlfriend, why?” The lady takes a deep breath, “This is the hospital,” His heart drops to his feet, she continues, “Your girlfriend got into a car accident and is in bad shape.-“ He doesn’t need anymore information, he hangs up the phone hading it back to his coach. His face filled with guilt, and sadness. He asks his coach “Can I go-“ He interrupts Joao, “Yes, go now.” Joao rushes out of the stadium, quickly getting in his car and driving to the hospital. Once he checks in with the lady at the front desk, she tells him you are in room 326, on the 2nd level. He rushes to the elevator, not sparing his fans even a glance. He goes up, it feels like hours for him to reach the 2nd level but eventually he does, jogging to room 326. He runs into the room and sees your still figure, along with your parents (and siblings) crying. He walks over to you, “Hey, it’s me. I- God, I’m so sorry, baby. I didn’t want you to leave, this is all my fault. If you didn’t leave then this would’ve never happened.” He starts crying. Suddenly, your heart monitor goes silent. Your whole family freaks out in sobs and cries as the doctor pushes them out of the room. He stands there, red wide eyes, sweaty soccer/football uniform, and messed up hair. The doctor pushed him out of the room, shutting the door. He stands there, helpless and alone, hoping-praying they save you. About half an hour later, the doctor comes out. Joao stands and rushes over to him, “Well, how is she?” He croaks out, voice hoarse. The doctor gives him a sad, guilty look, Joan’s heart shatters to pieces. “No, no, no. No, your joking with me, right?” Joao looks at him with pleading eyes, the doctor shakes his head, putting a hand on Joao’s shoulder, “I’m so sorry, son.” And with that, the doctor walks off. Joao slides down on a wall, putting his head in his knees. “No.” He whispers while crying- sobbing even. “No.” He says a bit louder. He sobs, thinking back to all of your memories together, how you two meet- it was summer and you where in Portugal for a business trip. You meet at the beach, talking to each other for hours. His mind jumps to your first kiss- you two had just finished your first date, him driving you home. Once you got home he opened the car door for you, letting you out. ‘Thanks’ ‘Anytime, meu amor’ You faced him and then slowly leaned in. Lips meeting in a soft kiss. His mind was racing, jumping from memory to memory, your scent, voice, clothes- everything. He was trying to remember everything about you, capturing you in his mind. One memory stuck out to him, when he lost a big match- the Euro 2024 to be exact. You were at home with him, cuddling, after the loss. You were comforting him, holding him tight and whispering how he did so good, “Never forget, I will always love you. No matter what. And until the day I die.”

A/N- AHHH!! I almost cried like three times while writing this. 😢 Who else, cause I know I’m not the only one.

[c-u-c-koo-4-40k]

What do I Know about You - Part 3

Next in the collaboration with @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan! Thanks so much for the help and the lending of OCs!

Previous Chapter Here!

Next Chapter Here!

The madness that started it all! HERE!

Also much thanks to @kit-williams for use of her oc Anrir

Tags: @sleepyfan-blog @bleedingichorhearts @passionofthesith @egrets-not-regrets @bispecsual @felinisnoctis

Summary: The other shoe drops. And now Lullaby and Khopesh have an entirely new issue to work around, and just when things were starting to get better.

Will this bond abnormality drive the two lovebirds to fly separate ways? Unlikely but at least one of them has to be confined to a cage for study, the other is Not happy with this outcome.

Warning: Negative Self Talk, Depression, Lashing out in anger and a trilogy becoming something that is slowly spiraling out longer and longer (but we are going to present this monster in more manageable chunks). Emperor Save Us.

You lay on your side, here…in a type of room you Hoped to never have to set foot in again. 

“There is something we need to tell you, both of you…”

You'd returned to the base with Khopesh as Anrir requested. You'd even let Khopesh carry you on his shoulders as you took your short walk back. Both of you were feeling playful and You felt lighter than you had in ages. 

Ironic with how you now wished to just Sink into this hospital bed like a rock now

As you'd strode in you'd seen the ancient Nightlord again in the lobby, perhaps you'd been a bit too chipper to notice the mood was different.

“Well I said I'd be back soon, so here I am!” You joked, stepping down with Khopesh's help. “Does this have something to do with Claude or Jophiel? I was hoping to get a chance to be slightly less awkward around them.”

Anrir had shaken his head. “Not exactly,” His voice had a pensive and almost solemn air to it. That's when you picked up on something not being right. “Apothecary Hura and I will explain all we can. But in private. My office is this way.”

“Anrir?” Khopesh asked, bringing a hand up to your shoulder.

The older Nightlord nodded. “This concerns you as well Khopesh.”

You both did as you were told. And indeed Apothecary Hura was waiting for you in said office. 

The dread of uncertainty had begun gnawing in your gut. But you used Khopesh's hand and presence as a comfort and reassurance. You're going to face this Together, it will all be alright. 

But it wasn't. 

“What?” You flinched remembering your reaction. “What do you Mean my bond is mutated?”

“It has taken on a form that has yet to be recorded previously.” Hura explained. “Rather than resembling a floral structure…it resembles something else…more akin to a…fungus.”

Anrir picked up the conversation. “The ‘zap’ you felt when touching Claude, was not merely static electricity. Claude's psychery activated upon touching you, leading Cedric to call his brother Jophiel over to examine you with his warp sight.”

“He described your bond and it is unlike anything we have seen previously.” Anrir continued. “In full truth it…unsettled him quite a bit.”

You cringed again, but you didn't blame Jophiel. How would you react if you walked into your garden only to find your Petunias had turned into Death Caps? Not well you assumed. 

“But I'm not Bonded! You of all people know that Doc.” You'd protested. 

“Yes…which makes your apparent mutation all the more fascinating and bizarre.” Hura had replied. “It's like the half of the bond that remained after…the incident, took on this whole new form on its own without anyone noticing the changes, until now of course.” 

“The zap also implies you May have some nascent or yet to be tapped psychic potential.” Anrir stated. “We needed to tell you this so you could be aware and prevent, say…a less friendly reaction to a zap occurring in the future.”

That part had still been overwhelming and wild but…up to that point the things they were saying weren't truly Bad, aside from scaring Jophiel. No…it was really more the next part that made your stomach twist and your eyes scrunch up in that Awful way. 

“We also believe, with the way your bond has mutated… It may not be possible for you to form a permanent bond again.”

A harsh sob ripped through your tightly locked lips and you turned your leaking eyes into your I pillow. 

“I…I can't ever…bond…again?”

“We are not certain but…as the bonds structure and function are so radically different…”

“Different function how?” You interrupted. 

Anrir paused, he seemed to be debating telling you. 

“Different in function How, Doc?” You demanded, which would have been laughable to Anrir if the situation wasn't so…heartbreaking. 

“…When Jophiel shook your hand…your bond began siphoning his power away.” Anrir finally stated quietly. “A regular bond produces a single, stable connection of warp energy. Even if we assume that energy depletes and renews it…. Dissipates when the bond is severed, leaving it to erode away gradually.”

“Yours is alive…and is actively seeking warp energy without your conscious thought…”

Draining...Unworthy...

B...r...o...k...e...n...

“It's like a Parasite…”

Another sob wracked your frame and you pulled the hospital blankets close around you. The difference in texture grated on you but you were also too tired and upset to care. 

“I'm like a Parasite!” You felt like screaming, you felt like crying. You felt your hands coming up around your head. 

“Lullaby…” Khopesh reached for you. 

A million alarms went off at once “No!” You shrieked, jumping back and putting your hands up. 

“Easy there young one.” Hura calls out soothingly.

Anrir states, in his own sort of calming way, “We know this is a lot to take in…”

“Lullaby?!…please…why are you pulling away from me…” Khopesh reached for you.

You'd crammed yourself deeper into the office's corner. “What if my bond is hurting you?? What if it's messing with your head?!” Another even worse thought came. “What if that Thing has been sapping at Your bond with Gary and Nancy?!”

Khopesh paused, he…he hadn't thought about that…

“And what happens if this…this Thing eats up the whole bond!?” You cried, terrified and frantic. “I can't! I can't put anyone else through that I won't-” 

“Please little one, breathe.” Hura calmed you, or tried. 

You took gulping breaths trying to soothe your panic and in that moment you suddenly let out a humorless laugh. “Of course…of Course the night I Finally feel like I can move on This happens…”

“But maybe part of me deserves this?” Another fit of pained giggles bubbled up. 

“Lullaby do not Say that…!” Khopesh protested.

“No, because even though I didn't like thinking about it…part of me…part of me still Did!” You insisted. “About how I'd probably outlive both Gary and Nancy and then maybe…if I was lucky…the universe would let us have a chance to be bonded…”

Khopesh didn't know how to respond at that moment. 

“But not Only do I learn my bond looks weird!? But that I probably can't Ever bond again! Oh And! And! My bond apparently Also Sucks the Life out of whoever it Touches!?” You put your face in your hands, slumping against the wall. “I'm not just Broken…I'm a Leech…a parasite…” You mumble through the tears starting to form. 

“And worst of all I don't even know how to make it stop…” You mumble the same words you had before. Now quietly into the pillow. 

Hence why you are Here now. You can't actively stop whatever this Thing inside you is, so you're going to stay where you can't ...hurt anyone else. 

Khopesh hadn't been happy with that option. “Over my rancid corpse! You are Not taking them from me and sticking them in some Tiny bright room Alone!”

Anrir set his gaze into a stern determined glower. “It will be over your Sedated living body if you do not Stand Down, Scout.” Anrir hissed, “We must take all necessary precautions for both Them and the other individuals residing here.”

Khopesh didn't respond verbally aside from the guttural growling he was mustering up. And in that moment he Loathed, absolutely and totally L O A T H E D Anrir for trying to use his authority in this way. Feeling betrayed, and Angry and wanting so Badly just to grab you up and steal you away to his nest and Hold You until this nightmare would somehow pass and you could both go back to how things had been Before this fucking Horseshit!

“Khopesh…please...”

His snarling rage was broken in an instant. He turned his attention back to you. 

Still so far from him, even only a few feet away but withholding your touch. Not for any meanness but because you Desperately didn't want to hurt him anymore than you already might have. 

“Please…don't fight them on this.” You ask solemnly. 

Khopesh tenses up and relaxes, his hands clenching and unclenching, he is reminded of the conversation they had earlier and his shoulders slump, “For you, I won’t fight them on this… For now.”

Khopesh watches as you walk away, from the way his shoulders shift and the slight forward motion of his body, he longs to follow after you, but he doesn’t. He glares at Hura and Anrir a little bit, “Why did you or the other Apothecaries tending to Lullaby not find out about this … issue… sooner?”

“The last time Lullaby had been checked over at their last visit- such a mutation in their Bond hadn’t been noted in their file,” Hura says as he reviews some of their papers, “The Astartes run facility that they go to is local, near to the farming community that they live and work with. That clinic doesn’t always have a Psyker-Apothecary present at all times. Librarians, Sorcerers, and Dark Apostles are uncommon on Ancient Terra- and their services are… quite highly needed in a number of ways all across Ancient Terra. It’s possible this was a Sudden Development, or something that might have slipped under the radar due to a lack of resources until it reached this point, this is very much an unknown phenomenon. This is a new form of Bond- as spoken of before, is unknown, as this is the first recorded incident of it, as far as I know.”

You stay in that isolation medical cell and sit on the bed. Curling up on your side as you try not to cry again. Thinking over the information that they had been given by Hura and Anrir. Parasite. Something in your mind hissed angrily. You didn’t ever want to intentionally hurt anyone, especially Khopesh, and you worry that you might do so because of the wrongness of your bond.

You're pulled from your thoughts when someone knocks on the door and Hura comes into the room, he takes off his helmet- and your mind twinges a little when you look at his face. You look away from him.

“Do you want to call anyone?” Hura asks them. “We would prefer you not go into detail, but you have permission to inform your emergency contacts and anyone who will be affected by your absence of course.”

You think for a moment. “Yes- there are a few people I want to call,” You reply.

You pull out your phone and the first person you call is your dad, “hey dad, I was out having dinner with Khope- I mean, a friend. And I uh- happened to run into Apothecary Hura- do you remember him?”

“Oh- Apothecary Hura? That older space-man who helped you after that… nasty business with your fall,” Your father says, “... Are you alright?”

He can tell from the way your voice is hitching that you are… hiding something, worried about something. Your father shifts a little and you can hear the movement over the phone, “Bearbear, are you wanting to have some lasagna?”

“Are you wanting some lasagna?” is the code phrase that you and your parents had developed, for situations where asking for help, or if they were feeling unsafe, but couldn’t say as much.

“No, thanks for asking, dad,” You reply, a rush of fondness welling up in your heart.

“Is there anything else you want to tell me?” Your father asks. 

“Not at the moment,” You say in reply, part of you wanted to blurt out what Hura and Anrir had told you, but the warning that the pair of Apothecaries had given you about it stayed in your tongue. Worried about something happening to him if you did say something.

Besides, it's not like your dad could do anything about the issue that they are having anyways. You chat about a couple of random things with your dad before hanging up the phone and taking a deep breath. Time to call mom.

“Hello Lullybird!” Your mother says happily, “How are you doing today- well tonight?”

“Oh- I had a lot of fun with Kho- with a friend,” You reply, shuffling a little on the bed of the isolation room.

“That’s wonderful!” Your mother says enthused. She’d always wanted you to at least try your hand at dating and getting out more, “how’s it going?”

“It went great,” You reply with a smile, before it fades as Hura shifts a little in place, “So uh- Funny story, I happened to run into Apothecary Hura- and he wanted to check over a couple of things, so I’m staying overnight at the Space Marine run Hospital in Gannett Point. Uh- I have a big favor to ask of you…”

“I hope it’s nothing serious,” Your mother says fussingly, “Certainly! What can I do to help?” 

“I need an emergency feeder for the farm set up while I’m… away.” You reply.

“Of course I’ll get that set up,” Your mother says, “... How long do you think your going to stay at the hospital?”

“Uh… I'm not sure, it depends on what all Apothecary Hura thinks is best.” You respond honestly.

“... Alright,” Your mother says, “... If you need or want anything else, you can call me your or your father.”

“Yes mom,” You replied with a fond smile.

“I love you, Lullybird,” Your mother says.

“I love you too, mom,” You respond. “I’ve got to go- doctor’s tests and what not.”

“Oh- of course. I’m driving back to the farm now, is your Dad home?” Your mother asks.

“Thanks Mom,” You reply, grateful for your parent’s help. “And yeah, Dad's home, should be there when you get home.”

You place your phone back into your bag, before turning to Hura and looking up at him, “I was wondering if you could ask Khopesh to bring me some stuff from my house? Just some comfort items to help me feel a little less…out of place.”

“Of course,” Hura says with a nod, “What sort of comfort items do you want him to get?”

“My stuffed rabbit, the pillow off my bed, and my childhood blanket.” You explain. “Thank you Hura- and thank Khopesh for me,” 

“Of course, but also Please let your father know that one of the local Night Lords is coming by to do you a favor, so as to not… startle him.” Hura says.

“Good call.” You nod and send a text message to dad with that information, to warn him so that Khopesh doesn’t unintentionally scare him. You quirk your lips in a half smile, it wouldn't be out of form for Khopesh to jump at an opportunity to be his usual incorrigible prankster self.

Your smile fell. But…given what you'd both just learned, and how he'd seemed when you left him…you doubted he'd be his usual self for a while. You hated seeing him look so lost and angry. 

Hura leaves the room to go find Khopesh- checking in with Anrir for a moment, who warns him of the mood one of his gremlins- er- sons is in. Hura thanks him and he heads off to find Khopesh.

He hears the sound of flesh hitting something soft and looks in to see an enraged Khopesh attacking several Astartes grade punching bags. Some of them are already busted- and watches as the younger space marine pounces on the one he's using currently; punching, clawing, and biting it as it swings and groans at his added weight. He Rips and Tears out fistfulls and mouthfuls of stuffing as if they were the entrails of an enemy, growling and snarling angrily.

Angry, Khopesh is angry, unbelievably pissed that his own Father ‘betrayed’ him by taking his Lullaby away. His head snaps up when he hears someone coming into the area he’s in. He had noticed, but had ignored it when the other people who had been in this sparring/work out room had slowly left after watching the way he had attacked the punching bags. Cowards. Something in his mind sneered as he continued to fight, trying to get his rage and aggression out on the bags, which are far more easily replaceable than something, or someone else.

As he pants a little something in him that sounded an awful lot like logic murmurs in his mind Anrir and Hura aren’t stealing Lullaby from you. He shakes his head and growls another thought coming to mind they sure as fuck are stealing Lullaby from me!

“Khopesh,” Hura calls out- making sure to not be within easy lunging range as he waits for Khopesh to decide on if he wants to acknowledge him or not. Younger brothers could be quite temperamental (not that the older ones aren’t, but the younger ones could get… rash with their actions if not allowed to process their emotions).

“What do you want?” Khopesh spits at Hura glowering at him.

“I have a request,” Hura starts.

“Like hell I’m doing anything for you,” Khopesh says with a growl- about to say something else.

“Lullaby, wants your help with something,” Hura continues to say, as if he hadn’t been interrupted.

Khopesh snapped to attention, “What can I do to help Lullaby?”

“They want some comfort items from their house, to help them handle this situation,” Hura says.

“What do they need or want?” Khopesh asks, insistence pushing his anger aside. 

“They have requested their stuffed rabbit, their bed pillow, and their childhood blanket.” Hura replies, a hand reaching out with the list of items they had requested.

Khopesh nods, he’s determined to see this task through- to help Lullaby and get these items for them. At least this way, I’ll be able to see Lullaby, once I get these items. He thinks hopefully.

He brushes past Hura without much else said other than a quick, and begrudging “Thanks,” As he exits the sparring area, who should he come across but Claude.

In truth…he knew the Primaris had also been watching him from the doorway, drawn by the sounds of his snarls and vitriol. But in his anger he hadn't cared much. He saw you lose yourself, what a Fine big brother you are after all. Khopesh pushes the thought from his mind. 

“Claude, I need you to listen carefully.” He says, grabbing the younger marine by the shoulders with a barely contained urgency. 

“Of course brother,” Claude replied, seeing Khopesh's stress. If you hadn't zapped Lullaby this wouldn't be happening. Your brother and his special one would be safe and Happy if it wasn't for you and your Curse! One of the voices hissed, he forced himself to focus on his brother's words not the ones in his head.

“Please, keep yourself aware of Lullaby, watch over them while I cannot.” Khopesh pleads, gripping more tightly as he emphasizes his next words. “Karlsor is too wrapped up in this with Anrir, I cannot ask him and he'd likely just cuss me out and tell me to be patient.”

“I must go retrieve some items for Lullaby, for the time being, keep your eyes and ears open and report anything major to me as it happens. I-” Khopesh licked his lips nervously. “I can't bear the thought of them being hurt while I cannot do anything.”

Claude seemed taken aback. “Do you really think Anrir will hurt them?”

Khopesh paused, and that once annoying voice of logic came back in his mind telling him to Not be an idiot, Of Course Anrir isn't going to hurt them! They're an innocent Baseline And he wants to study them why would he harm…

“No…or rather, not intentionally.” Khopesh clarified, finally pulling back. “I just…I need a line of communication open, so I can know their status. And if something does go wrong…” Fuck he did Not like the idea at all. “I can know I need to rush back, Please Claude.”

The Primaris marine nodded solemnly, he still felt partially responsible for this happening at all. He would help get Khopesh and Lullaby through this. “I will! I Promise.” He swore.

Khopesh nodded gratefully. “Thank you little brother. I will be back as soon as I am able.” 

“You’re welcome,” Claude says with a determined look on his face. 

He watches Khopesh head off and takes in a deep breath or two, centering himself and then heading off to where Lullaby has been hidden away and monitored by some Old Chaos Apothecaries. 

Part of him shudders at that, he knows that Hura and Anrir are trustworthy- have proven themselves to be able to not be… disgusting treacherous many-faced, forked tongued liars waiting to kill or twist them into horrific evil. Besides.. The… teal… Ultramarine also knows and is monitoring Lullaby, Anrir and Hura….

Hm… Part of him wants to call Cedric- who already knows some of what is going to help out, but that is not something he can decide on. He’s not an apothecary, and just a battle brother, a Librarian in training, yes. But still something prickles at the edge of his vision. 

Ah fuck. He focuses and grasps the feeling-sense-emotion that is a-vision-is-coming and puts it in a ceramite clad box and shoves it deep, deep in his mind. While it’ll make the symptoms and recovery Worse, after he does have the Vision, at least it’ll be after he’s spoken with Lullaby and helped guard them per Khopesh’s request.

He opens his eyes and heads to their isolation cell, he knocks and is let in. Hura seems pleased to see him- and Anrir explains that one of the tests that they want to do is see if Claude and/or Lullaby shock each other again. 

Karlsor is in the room with his arms folded over his chest as he leans against the room- the older Night Lord Librarian is going to use Warp Sight to see what happens, if anything does happen or if things go… strange.

Things that could be going… Strange can happen when Warp Nonsense happens, especially Odd, Unusual, or Unknown things happen. Claude looks around the room and at Lullaby, “... Are you alright with this test being preformed?”

“I want to know what’s going on,” You say, “I hope that this can help.”

“Alright,” Claude says, as he steps closer and reaches out a hand to you. You also a reach out a hand to Claude and brace yourself for the zap of pain to happen.

You feel no pain- and the Zap that had happened before had been noticeable in the way it felt- and others had noticed that Something had happened the first time that you and Claude had shaken hands.

Karlsor does notice- that the little feelers- the mycelium tendrils start to curl and start to siphon off of Claude. Claude does inform them when he starts to feel a bit of energy drain. Hura and Anrir are writing something down and one of the Apothecaries request that they stop holding hands.

Hura asks, “How do you feel?”

You look at him incredulously. “How do I feel?” You have to stifle a disbelieving laugh. “I feel like shit!” You say, ‘broken, useless, a disgusting parasite.’ Your mind hisses at you venomously. “I am a Fuck damned parasite.”

Hura doesn't respond for a moment, and you feel shame creeping in.

“I was actually asking if you felt any Physical difference from the energy transfer.” He clarified.

Yep…full barrel of shame pouring Right over your head and into your gut. He didn't deserve to catch strays off your fuckin pissy attitude. “Sorry…I just…I dont feel…I can't- I don't have the words right now.” You amend quietly, rubbing your fingers over your eyes tiredly. 

Physically, at least, You feel better- more refreshed and recharged, but you won’t be able to realize that now. Not with the self-hatred you feel and the downward spiral starting to make you feel worse.

Claude looks away, understanding how they feel- it’s hard being a Psyker, even if one can’t really access their powers- they are marked out as Other, as Different, as Wrong. Dangerous. A Liability, more than an asset.

“I don’t believe you are a parasite,” Hura says as he comes over, offering you one of his massive hands, “I wonder… can you siphon off the energy of non-psykers as well.”

As a Death Guard Apothecary who… survived through the Heresy and out into The Storm that was first meeting The Grandfather and the… fall into his embrace and the Becoming. Hura has met many different kinds of entities, including some forms of sentient parasites- and from what he knows with his vast amount of Knowledge, he doesn’t think Lullaby is one of them. Then again, further testing is needed.

You hesitate, but eventually move your hand over Huras, the mossy rusty texture on his palms is slightly off putting, but you brush that aside. 

“Karlsor…are you able to monitor?” Hura asks the shade wearing Night Lord.

“Yeah yeah fuckin give me a minute. Shits not exactly Easy.” He groused, rolling his joints and shoulders. 

Maybe it was a trick of your own eyes, but you thought you saw Karlsors pupils…shine, just for a moment. But you figure it was a trick of the light. You'd never seen any visual difference when being warp examined before. 

“Well, fuckin hell…” Karlsor muses as he looks at the two of you. 

“What do you see?” You ask before the present Apothecaries can.

“The little feeler things aren't Just moving over Hura's hand…” He explains. And its true. “With Claude they kinda went everywhere but with Hura…its looks like they're attracted to the ‘vines’ of his bond.”

You yanked your hand away immediately. Followed by hoping up and putting more physical distance between the two of you.

“Fuck! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-”

“Young one please,” Hura held up his hand, trying to stave off your panic. “Did the tendrils have any noticeable effect on my bond?” He asked Karlsor, who had turned off his warp sight.

Hura had also being trying to feel or sense any changes as Lullaby touched his hand- he’s no psyker or dark apostle, but being a Grandson of Nurgle… changes you in ways that are more than just physical.

He doesn’t feel any different from before they had touched him, and even after they had snatched their hand back, he still felt normal. He lightly touches his bond, it feels the same- just as strong. With a bond full of vines, flowers and thorns.

“I don't fuckin Think so…” He groaned, clearly having some kinda of headache from his psychery usage. “When they touched Claude the tendrils kinda started glowing,” He explained. “And Claude felt the energy getting pulled, but since your bond can't Talk there's no way to know how much energy got pulled just now.”

“The tendrils lit up again…but the bond didn't seem to Change at all. At least not visually.” Karlsor finished. “Now I need a fuckin break my head feels like somebody tried to Crack it open with a hammer.”

Anrir nodded. “Very well, we'll take a break, and if you're not recovered by then, we'll have Claude examine instead.” He then turned his attention to you. “Do you require a break as well?”

You took pause at that. A little surprised by the concern you were being shown. “I'm…fine for now, physically at least.” You replied, honestly at this point…you really felt just…Just far more Numb than anything. 

Anrir took notice. “Come now, this could be quite good news. Hura's bond wasn't harmed by you touching him. It's unlikely Khopesh's would suffer either.”

That was a fair point. “But I only touched him for a Moment. There's no guarantee a bond will hold up if I'm in close prolonged contact with someone…”

Anxiety twisted in your stomach at the thought of all the physical contact you'd had with Khopesh before the reveal that this…this Thing was a factor. It made you sick to think you'd been hurting him and his bond this whole time. 

Anrir shrugged. “That is a possibility…but I suppose we won't find out unless we do more tests. And either way…”

“Do you really think Khopesh would simply give up? Throw in the towel and let you slip from his grasp because of this?”

The phrasing was a bit odd. But you couldn't deny Anrir had a point. “He'd probably fight like hell to find a way around it.” You agreed. “But…this isn't exactly a problem you can brute force.” 

“You underestimate my son's tenacity.” Anrir half laughed and scoffed. “He does not falter in the things he pursues. And neither do I.” Before you could protest the old Nightlord placed a cold yet…comforting hand on your shoulder. 

“Let us continue. I believe we may yet find a positive path forward for you and your power. After all…the most important aspect of Any ability is How it is used.”

You couldn't disagree, but you did hesitate. “A positive slant to this situation feels very far off.” You replied. 

Anrir shrugged. “Then we best get moving.” 

[bleucaesura]

STOLITZØ - THIRTY TWO

The group sat in awkward silence for what felt like an eternity after Stolas returned. Asmodeus arrived with food shortly afterward Stolas, as promised. He had overcompensated and then some. He had something from any place he could think of that was nearby and a veritable feast lay before them. But no one could eat. They all sat and poked at their plates, moving the food around, helping the time pass.

A few times a nurse or doctor had come by, giving them false hope, only to turn out to be administrative crap for Stolas to deal with.

Asmodeus pulled Stolas aside, out of the room, after the last false alarm.

“Everything alright?”

“Of course?” Stolas avoided eye contact. “Why do you ask?”

Asmodeus raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms.

Stolas rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Just a miscommunication about Blitzø’s care.”

“Stolas…” Asmodeus laid a hand on his shoulder. “What’s going on?”

Stolas sighed heavily and turned away.

“It seems Stella had a word with my father,” Stolas said angrily. “And my father, being who he is, got wind from the hospital about Blitzø…”

“Oh dear…” Asmodeus sighed.

“Indeed.” Stolas rubbed his hands over his face.

“Long story short, my father was demanding they refuse care, I made some threats, there will likely be consequences later, but Blitzø will be getting the care he needs.” Stolas leaned against a wall and looked down at his feet somberly.

“Oh damn! Well…” Asmodeus leaned next to Stolas and squeezed his shoulder. “I’ll help however I can.”

“Thank you,” Stolas looked at Asmodeus and smiled meekly.

The two remained in comfortable silence a few moments longer. Stolas thought about how it felt nice to have someone’s support in the Royal courts after a lifetime of not belonging.

Maybe I could be making another friend…

Stolas smiled to himself.

Asmodeus nudged Stolas, smiled, and they returned to the room to sit with the others.

A while later another doctor arrived. This time with news of Blitzø. Everyone leapt out of their seats.

“Mr. Blitzø is out of recovery and has been moved to a private room, as per your request, your Majesty,” the doctor nod-bowed to Stolas.

“What the f*ck are we waiting for?!” Loona headed to the door. “Where is he?”

“Hun” Millie grabbed Loona’s tail before she could escape out the door. “Give’em a sec. I think he’s got more to say.”

Loona growled low in her throat. Her ears flattened back. But she stopped and waited in the doorway.

The doctor looked around nervously. Stolas gestured for him to continue.

“His external wounds were minor. But the cerebral damage was extensive.”

The tension in the room rose exponentially. Loona hunched and hugged herself trying to make herself small.

“We did what we could in surgery. Our best and brightest repaired the damage.” The doctor nodded to Stolas.

Looking for a pat on the back I’m sure. ‘Look at us doing our jobs like we were told to.’

It took a lot of restraint from Stolas to not punt the little shit through a portal.

“He hasn’t regained consciousness yet,” the doctor continued. “It may be hours. It might be days…”

“It could be never,” Loona interjected, looking out the door.

“It’s impossible to say,” the doctor replied. “We’ll just need to be patient. Give his body time to heal.”

Everyone was struck by silence.

Fizzarolli broke the silence, stepping around Asmodeus and clearing his throat.

“So uh… Which way to the vegetable’s room then doc?”

M&M, the doctor, and Octavia looked at Fizzarolli in shock, Loona looked ready to kill him, and Asmodeus looked completely at a loss.

Stolas couldn’t help himself. He snickered. His goofy owl hoots started to spill out and soon he was laughing so hard his eyes were watering.

Stolas’s laughter shattered the tension in the room. Everyone looked at each other awkwardly, some exchanged nervous laughter.

Fizzarolli smiled sheepishly at Stolas and gave him the smallest nod.

Blitzø would have loved that joke… Blitzø would have MADE that joke.

Stolas mouthed a silent “Thank you” to Fizzarolli, collected himself, and asked the doctor, “Yes. Where is Mr. Blitzø’s room please?”

The doctor left to lead the group to Blitzø’s private room. Stolas was the last to follow.

He took a deep ragged breath.

You’ve got another chance… If he wakes up…

Stolas’s eyes welled with tears.

NO… WHEN he wakes up! You’ll tell him you love him.

“Dad?” Octavia poked her head in the doorway, looking around. When she saw him she stepped inside. “Aren't you coming?”

“Yes, dear.” Stolas wiped the tears from his eyes and joined her at the door. “Lead the way.”

*****

[eventinelysplayground]

The Green Eyed Monster

Kinktober Day 30: Jealous Sex | Window/Balcony

Pairing: Theo x Female Reader

This fic has a bit of Halloween thrown into it. Originally it was becoming way too long so I had to shorten it down and it's still over 2k. I may write this from Theo's pov later just to do a bit more flushed out version idk though. Theo takes you home from a ball early and although you miss out on the fun there you get to have a different type of fun at home. NSFW so minors do not interact. WC approx 2106.

“I have to say this is quite the party isn't it?”

“Cedric! Good evening and yes it is, Comte really goes all out.”

Cedric gives you a friendly smile and you smile back.

“I take it you're dressed as a vampiress tonight?”

“Haha yes I am, I thought it would be a fun change of pace. You're a Roman senator?”

“ I am! Is Theo dressed as…Sherlock Holmes? I didn't know he was a fan.”

Cedric inclined his wine glass towards Theo who was busy talking with some potential clients or maybe investors and you turned your head to look at him. You had to admit he looked good in the outfit but the headache it caused when Arthur saw him was almost not worth it.

“Ya well, just don't let the flirty priest near him.”

Cedric gave you the most confused look and you coughed before changing the subject. The two of you talked for a bit and then the music changed. Theo was still engaged with the gentleman and you let out a soft sigh, you had already danced with several of the residents while waiting for Theo but his conversations just seemed never ending.

“Since Theo seems occupied, would you do me the honor?”

You take Cedric's offered hand and began to dance. You talked about the ball, art, Theo and most interestingly a very cute looking cat girl that Cedric had his eye on, he'd already danced with her once and was hoping to save their second one for the end of the night. The dance came to an end all too quickly and Cedric led you back to the edge of the dancefloor where you were met by Arthur.

“I dare say that really is quite the dress luv.”

You rolled your eyes as Arthur raked his across your figure. Yes the dress was a bit low cut and had a thigh high slit but it was Halloween after all when else could you dress like this and not be given a lecture, especially in this time period.

“How about a dance? Though I'd also take a tumble in the sheets.”

“If you keep saying stuff like that while dressed like a priest you're going to burst into flames, assuming Theo doesn't get to you first.”

“Just a dance it is then.”

Leaving no room for argument Arthur took your hand and led you to the dance floor. As you began to move in time with the music Arthur's hand began to travel lower than was socially acceptable even for a couple let alone the two of you.

“What are you doing?”

“Just having a bit of fun luv.”

You glared at Arthur and he moved his hand back up your back but then he pulled you closer to him.

“How about a little bite instead then?”

You were so surprised by his words that you couldn't speak but you didn't have to.

“That's enough you perverted priest.”

“Theo old boy, would love to chat but I'm in the middle of a dance.”

“Not any more you aren't.”

Theo moved Arthur aside taking his spot and danced the two of you away from him.

“Thank you for-”

“As soon as this dance is done we're going home hondje.”

“Oh…okay Theo.”

You were disappointed, even if you weren't getting to spend a lot of time with Theo tonight you were still having a lot of fun. True to his word as soon as the song came to an end Theo led you off the floor and towards the door only stopping briefly to let Vincent know the two of you were leaving.

The whole carriage ride back to the mansion Theo was quiet and rigid and you knew he was upset.

“I'm sure Arthur was just joking Theo.”

Theo let out a huff but said nothing as he continued to stare out the window leaving you to sit there with your own thoughts. When you got to the mansion he helped you out of the carriage and quickly began walking away. Clearly he was still very upset and in mood to talk, surely he knew Arthur only did it to get a rise out of him? As you stood there thinking to yourself Theo abruptly turned around.

“Come on Hondje.”

You jumped slightly at the somewhat harsh tone in his voice before shaking your head.

“Coming Theo.”

You had to jog a bit to catch up to him but you finally did when he stopped to hold the door open. Once you were inside and the door was shut he grabbed you by the wrist and led you up the stairs not saying a word but the look on his face told you that he wasn't okay. As the two of you reached the top of the staircase he stopped and turned to face you lifting up your chin with his free hand. His sea blue eyes had a storm of emotions rolling inside them and you swallowed hard.

“Theo?”

“Good, you still look alert enough.”

Theo let go of you chin and began walking down the hallway, his one hand still wrapped firmly around your wrist.

“Alert enough for what?”

You had reached his bedroom and he ushered you inside before shutting and locking the door behind you. That done Theo let go of your wrist and wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you flush against him.

“Alert enough for more training, you clearly need it.”

“What did I-”

Your words were cut off when Theo's lips crashed against yours in a fierce and demanding kiss. He bit at your lower lip before dragging his tongue along it and you parted your lips. He wasted no time as his tongue quickly slipped into your mouth claiming every inch of it. As your kiss deepened his free hand came to rest on the back of your head keeping you from being able to break the kiss. Just when you thought you'd run out of breath he pulled back then let his lips brush against your ear as he spoke.

“Did you forget who your owner is Hondje?”

“No.”

“Really, it sure seemed like it tonight. Dancing with Broer and the others was one thing but…”

Theo's words trailed off as he brought his face back to yours and the hand on the back of your head lightly gripped your hair.

“Your mine.”

“Of course I-”

Another fierce kiss landed on your lips.

“You belong to me.”

Another kiss.

“I won't have you wagging your tail for other men.”

“I didn't… is this about Arthur? You know he was just trying to rile you up because of the Holmes costume right?”

“Of course I know what that klootzak was doing.”

Another kiss and bite at your lips.

“Then?”

As hard as it was to think while Theo kissed you like this you tried your best to go over the events of the night.

“Still can't figure out what you did?”

You shook your head in defeat, if it wasn't the incident with Arthur then you were out of ideas. Theo's hands released their hold on you and he walked over to the bed grabbing a pillow and tossing it at you.

“On your knees hondje”

You just stood there blinking as Theo walked back over to you.

“Do I also need to teach you your basic commands again?”

“No.”

“Good. Now on your knees.”

You drop the pillow on the ground and kneel on it as you're told and Theo comes over to stand right in front of you and runs a hand through your hair.

“Goed meisje hondje.”

He removes his hand from your hair as you look up into his eyes and he smirks at you. His hands move to his pants undoing them enough so that he can let his hard cock out.

“You can have this while you think about what you did tonight.”

You place a hand on his hip while the other grabs his hard cock and slowly begins to work up and down its length. You know that if you don't want to be here all night you have to carefully think over everything from tonight, Theo wouldn't be making you guess if you didn't have all the information you needed to figure it out. Your hand continues moving up and down his length as you begin sorting through the events of the evening. Every so often you bring your lips to his cock and kiss it and each time you do it twitches slightly. Soon Theo's fingers are back in your hair and he lets out a low growl when you kiss his tip.

“Hondje, zuigen.”

You look up at him to find him looking down at you and you wrap your lips around his tip. Slowly you swirl your tongue over it before taking as much of him as you can into your mouth. As you start moving up and down his cock the tingling sensation between your legs grows and you press your thighs together.

You try to keep thinking back on the night but the way his cock fills your mouth and the way it responds to you is too distracting and soon you've forgotten all about what you're supposed to be doing and just enjoying his cock. You pull it all the way out of your mouth and lap along the sides and top of his tip, cleaning the pre-cum off it. As you lean in to place a kiss on the tip Theo thrusts his hips pushing himself all the way into your mouth and throat. You weren't ready for it and let out a small cough but quickly adjust and begin deepthroating him.

You can feel the wetness between your legs now making you squirm as you rub your thighs together. Theo's hand firmly grips your hair as he sucks in a breath and pulls back from you. Before your confusion has time to take hold he pushed you down on your back on the floor with your dress pushed open at your thigh slit and his hands pulling off your panties.

“Who do you belong to hondje?”

“You Theo.”

Theo's lips close over yours and you wrap your arms around his neck quickly becoming lost in the kiss.

“Who's your master?”

“You are Theo.”

This time Theo trails kisses down your neck as his hand traces along your curves.

“And who do you wag your tail for?”

“Only ever you Theo, wait you said something similar earlier. Did you think I was wagging my tail at somebody else?”

You look into his eyes and everything he had been saying begins to click for you.

“You look more beautiful than usual tonight hondje, then you were smiling and dancing with him-”

“Theo, were you jealous of Cedric?”

Theo doesn't say anything but the look on his face tells you your right and you let out a small giggle.

“It's not funny, hondje.”

You bite at your lips to stop the laughter before bringing a hand down to caress over his cheek.

“Theo I love you, only you. You don't need to feel jealous over anybody, nobody can compare to you.”

You lift your head up and kiss him gently and he kisses you back.

“I know you love me, still…”

Theo kisses along your neck before biting you and slipping his cock inside you at the same time and you let out a gasp. You feel the heat and pleasure spreading through your body as he thrusts deep inside you, filling your insides completely with him.

“I want to show everyone, including you, that you belong to me completely.”

He licks over your bite mark and begins to thrust even faster.

“I can't show these to everyone but that doesn't mean there isn't another way to show them. I don't care how long it takes, I'll prove you're mine.”

Theo bit you again, sinking his fangs even further and between that and the feel of his cock inside you you quickly hit your peak as you cry out his name and your walls tighten around him. It doesn't take long for Theo to follow you and soon you feel his cock twitching as you're filled with his cum.

Normally Theo would move to lay beside you and take you in his arms but tonight he stays where he is while being careful to keep his weight off you. As you begin to fade into unconsciousness he kisses your forehead and you can see the storm in his eyes has subsided. You know his jealousy isn't a good thing but if it keeps ending like this well, the aftermath certainly is.

[shmorp-mcdurgen]

Lab Rats AU: Prologue

Cesar had been missing for weeks, and despite the danger, Mark decides to figure out why.

TW: Body horror, blood, needles, kidnapping mention (I think that’s it-)

Notes: this is around 6′600 words long. Yeah! Lab au writing!! These characters are miserable!! Hope you enjoy-

-----

 September 15th, 1992

 Cesar had been missing for three weeks.

Mark remembered seeing him at their high school, like usual. However, he seemed especially…paranoid that day; complaining about strange noises outside his house, and seeing things peeking in through his window. Mark understood the feeling of paranoia too well, though something about Cesar’s retelling of those events felt more unsettling, making Mark feel only more so when Cesar didn’t show up at school the following day. Mark told himself he was worrying too much, and that Cesar was probably just sick, or out of town for a while, but after his many calls to his phone remained unanswered, he figured that something must’ve been wrong. He couldn’t rest until he knew what was going on, being the reason he was driving to Cesar’s house in the middle of the night.

Mark’s tired, yet intense gaze was fixated on the road in front of him, the headlights of his car shining on the damp asphalt under it. He was wearing a pale grey sweatshirt, along with a pair of blue jeans. Around his neck was a silver necklace with a golden cross on it, which rested on his chest. His brown hair was swept to the left side, partially covering his acne-covered forehead. His brows were furrowed in a look of concern, even though his eyebrows were naturally low, making him look pissed off without trying.

It was particularly dark that night, with the moon being blotted out by the layer of clouds from the recent rain. It wasn’t particularly cold, though Mark couldn’t help but shudder slightly, making him turn up the heater in his car. He wished he was at home; lying in his mostly comfortable bed, covered in multiple blankets, with the only light coming from a small nightlight he refused to mention because it made him seem childish. He was tired, but couldn’t sleep without knowing exactly what was going on with his friend.

Mark took in a deep breath, his fingers pressed against the leather steering wheel, his thumbs rubbing over the textured surface. He felt a pressure in his chest, with his stupid subconscious wondering if he was going to accidentally give himself a heart attack. He kept thinking to himself: “You’re overreacting, Cesar’s gonna be fine when you get there, and all this will be for nothing.” However, he couldn’t make himself fully believe his reassurances, as much as he tried. He took in deep breaths, letting them out before taking in another, hoping for relief from the tense pressure in his body.

He turned off of the main road, onto a gravel lane, and continued to drive until his headlights hit the side of Cesar’s house. He parked in front of the garage, sighing deeply as he looked at the home. He felt a pit in his gut, despite never feeling it towards Cesar’s home before, even in the middle of the night. Mark remembered the times where he’d stay the night, keeping Cesar company while Ms. Torres slept in the other room. They’d have to try their best to stay quiet, despite them both wanting to laugh loudly at each other’s stupid jokes. Mark was just hoping this would be something similar, despite the nagging feeling in the back of his mind that it wouldn’t.

The home felt so desolate, with no lights on and its windows only leading to darkness. It almost felt like a void was trying to swallow the house up, with it being completely black aside from whatever Mark’s headlights hit. It felt unwelcoming, making Mark almost want to hightail it out of there without even going inside, feeling immense dread just being near the home. However, Mark didn’t drive all that way for nothing, so he might as well do what he needed to do and get out of there as soon as possible.

Mark stepped out of his car, clutching his flashlight in one hand, and his trusty Desert Eagle in the other, his trembling fingers wrapped tightly around its handle. He walked to the front door, taking in yet another deep breath before letting it out and knocking on the door. No response; something about that made Mark sick. Mark shakily reached for the doorknob, pulling his arm back before thinking hard. For all he knew, Cesar and his mother were asleep, and Mark was about to break into their home without warning. However, when he turned the doorknob and realized it was unlocked, he only felt worse about wandering inside.

He shone his flashlight into the dark living room, seeing that one of the end tables was knocked over, and that there were random objects strewn around the room. It looked as if it had been robbed, which wasn’t out of the question considering Cesar’s mother set up cameras due to a robbery a few years prior. However, nothing appeared to be missing; only broken or misplaced. Mark felt his heart sink as he slowly walked through the home, walking into the kitchen and looking around to see everything in disarray. A kitchen knife was missing from its block, and there were faint stains in the tiled flooring, along with shards of a vase. It looked as if someone came in and swept everything off of the tables.

Mark looked towards the corner of the room towards the roof, seeing that the cameras were off, meaning Mark most likely couldn’t have found anything from the CCTV footage. However, when mark glanced towards the back hallway, he noticed something in the corner of it, with Mark being able to identify what it was when he walked closer; a messily folded piece of paper. Mark hesitantly kneeled on the ground, placing his gun on the wooden floor before grabbing the paper, unfolding it as he pointed his flashlight towards it, reading the hastily written, barely legible message:

“There are people outside, they cut the phone lines

They’re here for me and are trying to get in

I see MBT on their uniforms, pleas hel ”

MBT?

Mark shoved the paper into his pocket before grabbing his gun, fumbling with it for a second before standing up. The acronym MBT sounded vaguely familiar, but he wasn’t completely sure what it meant. He remembered it being mentioned around town, but only in hushed whispers and crazy conspiracies. From what he remembered it was just a medical research facility somewhere outside of Mandela, so…why did Cesar mention it?

Mark glanced to his left, seeing that not only was the door to the guest bedroom open, but the glass doors that led outside were as well. He stood up, swallowing hard before walking into the room, flicking on the light. He looked out into the backyard, seeing very faint tire tracks and footprints in the mud, though the rain seemed to have washed away most of them. Every single faint track led into the woods, and even though Mark didn’t go through the tree line, he knew deep inside where the trail was leading; to the highway.

Mark knew the best thing to do was to call the police and report a kidnapping. However, considering how dismissive the MCPD was towards the disappearances plaguing Mandela County, he doubted that it would’ve been any use. Mark was in no way capable of handling rescuing his friend from possible kidnappers, but…he had no other reliable option. Mark’s brows furrowed, breathing in and out multiple times before sighing. “Fucking…shit.”

Mark jogged around the house, hopping back into his car before starting it up again, backing out of the driveway and turning back down the gravel lane. He should’ve called for help the first few days of Cesar being missing, but he no longer had the time to regret his decisions. He drove towards the highway, wondering where the “kidnappers” would’ve gone, deciding to drive towards the border of Mandela, knowing it wasn’t too far away. Mark only hoped they didn’t flee to the other counties; Mark only had so much time in a day to search.

Mark continued to drive, the dread in his gut only becoming worse as he approached the border between Mandela and Bythorne. What if Cesar was long dead; with his body thrown in a ditch somewhere, half decomposed. Mark shook off the images his mind came up with before he caught something in the corner of his eye. He was in between two small fields, cloaked by darkness aside from the light coming from Mark’s car. He slowed down, parking on the side of the road as he squinted towards the right field, seeing something in between the wheat. There was a small, worn down dirt road that led into the woods.

Mark really was a fucking moron; he’s seen so many movies laying out why what he was doing was fucking stupid. “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” sprung to mind, making Mark think he was going to end up being chopped up, eaten, and having his bones made into a couch by a family of cannibals. Mark could feel himself wanting to dissociate just to make himself believe he wasn’t really putting himself in danger, but he knew he needed to focus, as much as possible. Cesar was in danger, and by God, Mark wasn’t going to lose his only friend. He just hoped he wasn’t too late, and that if he found Cesar, he would forgive him for dragging his feet.

Mark reluctantly turned down the dirt road, carefully driving through the field, pausing at the edge of the forest before continuing his drive. The forest was dark, and the road was uneven, feeling as if it was supposed to be barely discernable from the regular forest floor. It felt so claustrophobic, despite it being out in the open, feeling as if the trees were closing in. Mark could feel the pit in his gut growing the further he went, considering turning around and abandoning the mission. However, when he spotted distant lights, he stopped the car, turning off the headlights.

He could see a sort of parking lot, with trucks and cars in the many spots. Though it was barely illuminated by the streetlights, Mark could see something clearly on the side of some of the vehicles: “MANDELA BIOTECH”. Most of the vehicles however were plain black or grey from what he saw, making him wonder what the hell Mandela BioTech was doing. Either way, it seemed Cesar’s note really was referring to the company, but why?

Before Mark could think any more, he turned towards his window, seeing a set of headlights approaching from a branching road. Mark gasped, ducking and hiding under the dashboard as soon as the headlights hit the side of his car. Mark heard the brakes of the vehicle squeak, waiting in terrified silence as he heard the truck’s door open. Mark’s wide eyes looked at the window as he heard footsteps approaching, a flashlight being shone into the car right above Mark’s head.

“What’s going on?” Another person said, their voice muffled.

“Is this vehicle authorized?” The man looking through the window asked.

“…Should I call this in?”

“Ask around. I swear to God if another one of the new recruits left their vehicle here I’m gonna lose it.” The man said before backing away from the car.

Mark let out his breath before peeking through the window, seeing that the men that were looking at his car were decked in FBI-like body armor and masks, with guns on holsters next to their hips. They entered the truck before driving by Mark’s vehicle, letting Mark try and calm down. “What kind of fucking medical facility requires armed guards?” He asked himself, wondering if it was safe to leave. He felt like he wandered onto the set of some sort of Sci Fi horror movie, thinking that it was most likely wise to leave now. However, something in his heart refused to leave; if Cesar was in there, Mark was going to get him out. God damn it, he knew he was stupid for doing so.

Mark carefully opened the car door, crawling out and lightly closing it behind him, looking around before quietly running down the path, avoiding any lights that could blow his cover. He was tired, cold, scared, yet stupidly brave, and was beginning to wonder if his gut feeling was going to end with him dead. He refused to let himself think about his six year old sister, Sarah, as even the idea of her wondering where he was made him want to cry.

 Mark soon found himself at one of the outer walls, glancing behind him whenever he heard even the faintest of sounds. In front of him was a row of dumpsters, garbage bins, and containers labeled “BIOHAZARD”, among other random bits of parts and garbage. However, when he looked up, he saw the entrance to a vent, embedded in the wall above one of the dumpsters. Mark swallowed hard, flapping his hands before groaning quietly, grabbing a metal rod that was resting against the other pieces of trash. He placed his gun on top of the dumpster before he climbed on top of it, unable to ignore the stickiness on his hands that made him want to claw his skin off; he instead just wiped them on his pants.

He jammed the metal pole in between the metal grate in front of the vent, pushing against it to try and open it. “Don’t be loud, don’t be loud, don’t be loud—” Mark whispered as the grate began to creak open, all before becoming loose enough for Mark to pull it open. He nearly lost his footing as he pulled the grating off, all before he tossed it onto the grass behind him. He turned towards the vent, feeling cool air hit his face and being able to smell cleaning alcohol and chemicals. He took in a deep breath, flapping his hands once again as he tried to shake off his trepidation, pushing aside his worries as he grasped his gun and crawled inside the metal vent, not once noticing the camera on the wall filming him.

 The cameras red light blinked as it caught Mark’s legs disappear into the vent, its footage being monochromatic and overlaid with static, yet still clear enough to catch his movement. The light from the camera feed reflected on the heavily dilated eyes of the watcher, their eyes partially covered by their wavy, pale grey hair. They coughed up speckles of phlegm and blood onto a tissue, before they began to chuckle; a choked, wheezing chuckle. “How…fascinating.” They stated, their permanent smile wide on their face as they continued to look at the footage.

A boy, no older than 17, breaking into their facility, believing he wouldn’t be caught? How ridiculously idiotic, yet curious nonetheless. They would have applauded him for his bravery if it weren’t the stupidest idea they’ve ever seen. They had a small button under their desk; alarms would blare and every single staff member of the expansive facility would be on the intruder’s tail at just a single press. However, something about a young man’s attempt to break in was amusing to them, so despite the option being there, they decided holding out was the more fun option. After all, they wanted to know why he was there. What could spur such a dangerous act? They supposed they would just have to wait and see, if he didn’t get stuck somewhere and die in the vents of course. The smell of rot would be hard to remove.

  Mark wasn’t claustrophobic; however he still found himself fighting against a panic attack as he crawled through the steel vents. His hand was white-knuckled, gripping his gun as if his life depended on it, checking every few seconds to make sure he didn’t accidentally move his finger to the trigger. Thunks and clanks echoed throughout the vent system from Mark’s shoes hitting the metal, and his weight causing the metal to bend slightly. He knew he wasn’t necessarily skinny, but he figured he wasn’t too heavy to actually break anything. He hoped.

He found himself at an intersection, seeing two ways to go. He looked down both sides, before he took in a breath and moved to his left. He had no clue where to go, or even what to do once he was out of the vents. He still didn’t know where Cesar was being kept, nor if he was even in the right place in the facility. However, Mark supposed it was too late now, as when he found himself at a dead end with a grate under him, he realized it was time to leave.

The grate smashed against the floor when Mark pushed it out, causing him to flinch and wince at the noise. He peeked out of the vent, seeing no one in the blank, white halls before he hopped down, his ankles stinging when he fell to the ground. It smelled like a hospital; overly sanitized and the air feeling artificially clean. All Mark could hear was the air conditioning, and the sound of faint medical machinery. It felt surreal, seeing how empty the halls seemed, but despite no one being nearby, Mark couldn’t help but feel as though someone was watching over his shoulder.

Mark’s sneakers squeaked against the linoleum floors, his eyes darting around in every direction, checking behind him every few seconds. It felt as though he was in the back hallways of a hospital, knowing if he got caught he would get in trouble; if said hospital was a hundred times bigger and getting caught meant getting shot. His hands shook as he tried desperately not to wave them around to ease his stress, making every movement as quiet and careful has possible. All he needed to do was find where Cesar was being kept, and he would be out.

Right?

Mark pressed his back against a wall, peeking around a corner to see more of the same: expansive corridors. He hesitantly began walking down the hallway, swallowing the lump in his throat before he froze; footsteps. Mark frantically glanced from side to side, settling on a door to his left before scrambling towards it, quietly yet quickly opening it before rushing inside. He closed it until only small part of it was open, gazing through the gap to see a couple men in professional attire, both wearing surgeons’ masks over their faces. Mark backed away from the door, trembling before his back hit something.

He swung around, letting out his breath when he saw it was just a few filing cabinets. He walked around them, seeing the room he was in. It seemed to be a storage space, with papers strewn across tables and pieces of medical machinery in the corners. Mark chose well he supposed; if there was any place he’d find info on where Cesar was, it was there. He immediately started sifting through the loose papers, glancing behind his back whenever he felt as though there was a presence behind him. All he found for a little while were random medical records, bills, and one that seemed intriguing, being a report on a vaguely mentioned “incident”, though it had no info Mark needed.

Luckily, or unluckily, Mark found a paper that had a familiar face on the corner: Cesar.

“PATIENT 02: CESAR TORRES

AGE: 18

HEIGHT: 6’2”

PHYSICAL IMPEDIMENTS: N/A

ROOM 234, BIOHAZARD PRECAUTION PROCEDURES REQUIRED FOR ENTRY INTO CELL”

Mark glanced behind him, shoving the paper into his sweatshirt pocket without reading the rest of it before hurrying out of the room, hoping he was in the right area to find the room he needed. A part of him was saddened that Cesar was actually there, but was quickly pushed aside when he realized that all he needed to do was find him, and they’d be able to escape. He hoped.

Mark quickly rushed through the halls, checking every room door to see if it was the number he was looking for. 215, 217, 226; Mark was nearing the room, feeling the shaking in his core increasing with every step. However, he stopped in front of one of the doors, hearing footsteps yet again before pressing the switch next to the sliding door and rushing inside to hide, pressing his back against the wall next to it as he heard the footsteps getting closer. Mark glanced into the dark room, feeling his heart sink and his breath hitch when he saw that there was someone in there with him.

It was a tall, strangely proportioned and thin man, sitting completely still in a chair next to the wall. He had a white and red jumpsuit on, reading “03” on the right side of his chest. He had a long neck, and arms that reached the floor, seemingly filled with holes that revealed his bones. Mark looked up at his face, eyes widening when he saw that he was devoid of a mouth, and his nose was nothing but a pair of nostrils. Two, wide, unblinking eyes stared vacantly at the wall, not once even giving Mark a passing glance.

Mark shook wildly out of fear, wondering what the hell happened to the man before he heard voices outside of the room, being the guards acknowledging the open door. Mark held his breath, seeing the armored guards walk in, their guns trained on the man in the chair. Mark stared at the man, seeing him blinking in strange patterns as soon as the guards looked away from his face.

Blink, hold, blink.

Blink, blink, hold.

Hold, blink.

Mark backed out of the room, seeing the guards swing around towards him before he slammed his hand against the switch, shutting the door and trapping them inside. Mark ran down the hall, ignoring the yelling from the guards as he ran down a branching, wider hallway, leading to room 234; Don’t worry Cesar, Mark was there.

He slammed his gun-holding fist against the switch, running into the room before promptly shutting the door behind him. He pressed his back against the door, breathing heavily before realizing that it wasn’t a normal cell like the one he was in prior. It was a large room, with a circular glass wall in the middle of it, like a large tube. Faint classical music played on the speakers, almost like a lullaby. Mark quietly walked down the hall, finding himself in the main room, looking up to see that the room’s roof was taller than the other rooms, making the place feel giant in comparison.

He looked at the glass, seeing that it was smeared with a black substance, like paint, it reaching towards the floor and ceiling in thin strands of the material. He could barely see inside until he walked around the glass, finally seeing inside of the cell. There was a single, stained bed in the middle, along with random pieces of garbage littered around it. The same black substance stretched across the floor, attaching itself to everything nearby, and Mark could swear he saw it moving slightly. However, Mark didn’t care about the state of the room itself, as when he saw the figure inside, he almost choked; Cesar.

Cesar was sitting in the middle of the cell, wearing a uniform similar to the mouthless man Mark saw, however, with orange patches on his shoulders with Biohazard symbols on them, along with the number 02 on his back. He was facing away from Mark, with him only barely able to see his left side. He seemed to be picking at the floor with his obscured right hand, humming to himself. Mark could barely make himself speak, but swallowed the lump in his throat before taking in a deep breath.

“…Cesar?”

Cesar’s humming stopped.

He sat up straight, slightly turning his head, though not looking at Mark. “…Who’s there?” He asked, his voice hoarse as if he hasn’t used it in a while.

“I…I-It’s…It’s me, Cesar.” Mark stuttered, walking around the glass towards the steel door that led into the cell. Cesar looked at him, his left eye widening when he could see who it was. He stayed in stunned silence before he stood up, turning fully towards Mark before speaking.

“…Mark?”

Mark was too horrified to respond.

The entire right side of Cesar’s face was covered in a semi-shiny black substance, much like the rest of the room, with his right eye being shut. Mark could see that his cheek had been stripped away on that side, showing his teeth and the half-absorbed muscle under his skin. The substance ran down his neck as well, though Mark was fixated on his right arm; his far-too-long right arm, which was completely coated in the fungus. Its hand had sharp claws at the end of each elongated finger, and he could see black veins under the shifting fungus. Mark could barely let out a whimper before Cesar recognized the look of horror on his face.

“W-wait…” Cesar said, raising his left, normal hand towards him before a faint, nervous smile appeared on his face. “I’m…it’s…god…” His smile faded when he fully realized something. “You…why are you here? How did you…find this place?”

“I-I…I saw your…your note.” Mark stated. “Oh my God…what…what happened to you?”

“Listen…you need to get out of here.” Cesar stated. “If you’re here, you’ve already been spotted. If they catch you they’ll—” Cesar cut himself off, looking at the ground before scoffing slightly, trying not to cry. “…besides. I mean…look at me. I’m not worth saving if that’s what you’re here for. Just…tell mama I love her, okay?”

“…You can tell her that yourself.” Mark pressed the switch on the door, it swinging open before Mark stepped into the cell, causing Cesar to stumble backwards.

“W-wait, NO—” Cesar couldn’t get his thought out before Mark grabbed his left arm, staring him in the eye with determination. “What are you doing?”

“I’m getting you out of h—”

Mark was startled by loud sirens ringing throughout the facility, causing him to cover his ears. Cesar looked around, seeing red lights flashing before grabbing Mark’s arm. “I’m getting you out of here.” He stated before running out of the cell, Mark following close behind. Cesar slashed the control panel of the door with his mutated claws, causing the door to slide open before they ran into the hallway, Cesar looking both ways before running to the left.

“You shouldn’t have come here,” Cesar said, trying to cover up his fear. “You should’ve just left me; lived normally without—”

“And just let you suffer?!” Mark questioned, trying to resist throwing his gun on the ground and letting go of Cesar’s hand to cover his hurting ears. “What kind of fucking friend would I be?!”

Cesar remained silent, running through the halls before freezing in place when he turned a corner, seeing three guards in front of him. Cesar backed up, feeling Mark’s grip on his hand fade as one of them swung a gun up, pointing it at Cesar—

BANG!

The man’s head jerked back, slamming against the ground behind the other two before one of the others felt a bullet pierce through their neck, falling as well. Cesar took the chance to slash at the last Guard, bloody slashes appearing in the torso before Cesar kicked them to the ground. Cesar’s breath was heavy as he turned around, his piercing gaze softening when he saw Mark, who was holding his pistol in front of him with a look of shock in his eyes.

“I-I…I…” Mark muttered, unable to get his thoughts out. “I…I k…killed—”

“No time to dwell on it,” Cesar grabbed Mark’s hand before continuing to run. “We’re almost there.”

After what felt like hundreds of winding hallways, and multiple dead guards, they finally made it outside, Mark immediately looking around before spotting his car by the trail, pointing towards it. “THERE!” He ran towards it, stopping when Cesar didn’t follow. He turned around, seeing that he had a solemn look on his face.

“Save yourself. For me.” Cesar said, backing up a few steps.

“Don’t pull that shit on me—” Mark grasped Cesar’s hand, making Cesar feel his heart sink when he realized that it was his mutated hand. Mark pulled his hand back as he yelled, staring at his hand, which was partially coated by the fungus, wiping it on his pants just to see that his skin was now a pale pink color, as if the top layer was eaten off.

“Please, just leave me here!” Cesar begged as Mark grabbed his normal hand, despite his own hand stinging at the action, leading him to the car. Mark swung open the back door, letting go of Cesar’s hand as he did so.

“Get in!” He asked. However, before Cesar could do so, Mark heard him let out a shocked yell. He turned around, expecting to see that Cesar got shot, however when he saw that there was a dart sticking out of Cesar’s neck, he almost felt worse. Cesar looked at Mark with a solemn, fearful gaze, as if he was saying “It’s too late” without speaking. Cesar’s eyes rolled back as he fell to the ground, narrowly being caught by Mark, who, despite the tears running down his face, pushed him into the car, wiping the fungus that got on his hands onto his pants and sweatshirt. “You’ll be okay, we’ll be—”

Mark’s empty reassurances were interrupted when he felt something stab his neck, only realizing what it was when he ripped It out and looked at it; a tranquilizer dart. “…Oh…god no.” Mark scrambled towards the front door, grabbing the handle and ripping it open, despite feeling dizzier with every passing second. He dropped his gun, unable to crawl into the car before he slammed against the dirt, trying to resist the urge to fall asleep. Alas, he wasn’t strong enough, and as he saw feet enter his tunnel vision, he realized he failed.

…

Mark could smell cleaning alcohol and felt as if he was sleeping on an air mattress. He opened his eyes, seeing that he was in a mostly dark room, dimly lit by an orange light on the ceiling. It looked almost like a dorm room, with a desk, a very small closet, and a mirror on the wall. The walls were a pale grey, seemingly made from concrete. Mark felt weak, not wanting to get up, though something else felt different.

He looked down at his arm, which was resting next to his head, seeing he wasn’t wearing his hoodie anymore. When he looked down he saw he was fitted in a…white and red jumpsuit, just like Cesar and the man in the cell. However, his uniform had 04 on it, though he wasn’t sure exactly what that meant. Either way, it felt like thick flannel, though not necessarily comfortable like it. He pat his chest, realizing in disappointment that his cross necklace was gone as well.

He stood up, realizing he was wearing non-slip socks as well, the texture of which making him want to rip them off, which he did. He threw them onto the desk, and despite the floor being ungodly cold, he preferred it over the itchy footwear. He walked to the sliding door, looking for a switch or handle to get out, but being unsuccessful. He soon realized that it wasn’t a dorm; it was a prison cell, which explained the fact that there was a toilet in the corner.

Mark felt tension build in his chest as he shook his hands, pacing in his room as he wondered what the hell happened while he was out. Was Cesar alright? Where was he? Why did he have a uniform on now? How was his family going to react to this? Would they know…? Would they…ever find out…?

Mark’s thoughts were interrupted when he saw light pour into the room from the door behind him. He turned around slowly, seeing a figure in the doorway, their face obscured by darkness until Mark’s eyes adjusted. It was a woman, around his height, with black, curly hair, wearing a white lab coat over a blue shirt of some kind. She had a respirator mask over her face, completely concealing her appearance. She had her gloved hands crossed in front of her, staring at Mark through the dark glass of her mask.

“W…Who…who are you?” Mark hesitantly asked.

“I must ask of you the same thing.” She responded.

“…U-Uh…M…Mark?”

“…Mark.”

“Yes.”

“Well, my name is Dr. Amanda Harlow, and you shall refer to me as such.” Amanda stated, though she didn’t follow it with a friendly handshake. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“…Where am I?” Mark asked.

“I’m afraid…that’s classified information for the time being.” Amanda said. “Though allow me to reassure you; everything will be answered in due time.”

“W…What happened to Cesar?” Mark questioned. “What did you do to him?”

“…02 is safe, currently in our custody. No harm has been done to him.”

“No, what the FUCK did you do to him?!” Mark questioned with a grimace. “You’re the one that made him like that, aren’t you?!”

Amanda remained silent and still, all before she let out a breath. “Mark. Like I have already said, everything will be explained sooner or later. Why don’t you walk with me? I’ll tell you everything you need to know for the time being.”

She stood to the side of the doorway, gesturing towards the hallway before Mark hesitantly walked out of the room. Amanda followed Mark, her hand planted on his shoulder as she led him down the hallway. “I understand you must be…confused on what exactly happened yesterday—”

“Yesterday?” Mark asked.

Amanda paused before continuing. “…However, I can assure you, no harm will be done to you or 02. Though I must ask why you are here, and what exactly spurred you to try and break it out?”

“…It? 02? His name is Cesar.” Mark sternly stated.

“…Just answer the questions, Mark.”

“I…He left a note, I…he’s been missing for a while, I couldn’t just…leave him.” Mark answered, feeling Amanda’s nails digging into his shoulder even through the glove.

“How brave of you.”

“What?”

“You are…friends with him?” Amanda asked.

“Y-Yes.”

“I see.” Amanda remained silent for a few moments, Mark seeing her other arm shift behind her from his peripheral vision. “Now…trespassing is a serious crime, though I suppose you are quite young…don’t know your way around this world just yet.”

“I…huh?” Mark felt himself beginning to sweat.

“Don’t stress yourself, Mark. You will be in good hands here.” Amanda stated, pausing as she gripped the syringe in her hand tighter. “Now…you may feel a slight sting.”

“Wh—” Mark felt a needle being stabbed into his neck, slowly falling to the ground as Amanda injected something into him, all before he felt a too familiar sense of heaviness rush over his body. He fell onto his back, looking up at Amanda, whose emotionless mask was staring back at him, all before he once again fell unconscious.

“…Appears to have no…physical ailments. However, I’ll have to find his governmental records to be sure.” Mark heard the voice of Amanda faintly, his eyelids still heavy and his mind foggy. He was laying on something, restrained, though he wasn’t sure where. “Mark Heathcliff appears to be his full name. He’s young, healthy...I believe you will be happy with a…canvas such as this.”

“Do you think he will be better than 01?” An unrecognizable, coarse voice stated, sounding further away, though Mark’s eyes were still shut, unable to see who it was.

“Potentially. I suppose that depends on what you do.”

Mark’s eyes slowly opened, dilating when he saw there was a bright light beaming on his face. He couldn’t move his legs or arms, feeling binds around his wrists and ankles. He lifted his head slightly, feeling his head throb as soon as he did so.

“Oh…hello Mark.” Amanda came into view, staring at him as she spoke in a calm tone.

“Wh...Where am—”

“Don’t panic.” Amanda stated. “It’ll make things harder for everyone involved.”

“Are…are you going to…kill me?” Mark could feel himself fighting back tears.

“Absolutely not.” The unrecognizable voice from the corner of the room spoke up, a figure standing up, concealed by the shadows. “If anything, you’ll come out of here…better than you were.” Mark could see that the person was incredibly tall, limping out into the light with a cane in their hand. However, when Mark looked up, finally processing what they looked like, he froze.

They wore a dark grey suit over a white dress shirt, along with a black tie. However, everything aside from their formal attire was a complete nightmare. Their long, wavy hair was completely grey, and his skin was a greenish yellow color, like a corpse. Their right foot was covered in bandages, though it looked more like the talon of a bird, its claws scraping against the floor as they walked towards Amanda and Mark. Their face was the most horrifying of all; elongated, with them having a “snout”, and their teeth were visible through a permanent wide smile. Their molars and front teeth were separated from one another like a horse’s skull. Their wide, dilated eyes stared down at Mark, and despite emoting being hard for them, Mark could sense…joy emitting from them.

“What the fuck, what the FUCK!” Mark tried to push himself from the monster growing closer, only to have Amanda push him back down.

“Don’t be afraid,” The figure said, their teeth chattering with every word. “I understand; perfection…is hard to handle for most.”

Mark wanted to say so many things, but nothing came out of his tight throat.

“Oh, how rude of me, my name is Gabriel.” Gabriel stated. “I’d recommend getting used to hearing it; I’ll be seeing you often while you’re here.”

“I-I…I…” Mark stammered, shaking his head.

“I saw the necklace on you when you came in.” Gabriel stated. “…A sign from the heavens. God has sent me one of his own angels…I just need to uncover it.”

“Shall I start?” Amanda asked.

Gabriel glared at her, growling slightly. “No. You failed with 02, why would I let you take the chance to ruin a perfectly good subject again?” They stated with a tinge of aggression. “I shall take care of this myself. I have ideas for what exactly to do with the blessing I have been given.”

Gabriel looked back at Mark, seeing the horrified, wide stare they were being given before they let out a wheezy chuckle, coughing after doing so. “Oh, don’t fear, after the procedures are done, I imagine you’ll be thanking me.” Gabriel said, grabbing a syringe from the table. “After all; the pain is only the weak human form shedding…allowing you to finally reach the unreachable. Trust me…I’ve experienced it myself.”

“Do you wish to put him under?” Amanda asked.

“…I suppose, yes.” Gabriel said. “We can work on pain tolerance at a later date.”

Mark began to scream, thrashing around as tears streamed down his face. “PLEASE, SOMEONE HELP ME!” He begged, seeing Amanda place a mask over his face. He struggled the hardest he could against the third anesthetic he was given, believing he’d surely die if he fell asleep again. These people were going to kill him; all he wanted was to go back home. He wanted his mother and father, and wanted to see his sister again and hug her. He just wanted to go home, back to the way things were. “GOD HELP ME, SAVE…save…m…me…”

Despite his efforts, Mark fell asleep.