#all in 60 pulls so i got a bit excited and pulled on the weapon banner

[hematomes]

he... <3 how did ur pulls go ppl

edit: actually don't tell me how ur pulls went bc it'll make me homicidal /j

[purple-obsidian]

miscommunication (18+, dick grayson x titan reader) wc 2.7-3.1k

⭓ this post contains suggestive themes and is not suitable for minors. reader uses she/her pronouns.

"Shit." You curse under your breath when you see your last two messages failed to send. There's just no signal down here. You sigh, and pocket your phone, mind wandering and trying to predict what mission Dick is taking you on tomorrow night. He usually tells you when its time for full stealth, so you decide you'll show up in civilian clothes. He wants to meet earlier in the evening anyways, so you guess it may be something undercover or staking someone out. You let your mind wander for a bit, before returning your focus to work, watching two men in overalls argue in front of the buildings water heater.

The next day, Dick shows up to your apartment right on time. He pulls up in his electric blue sportscar, sticking out like a sore thumb in this neighborhood. You can't help but grin when you see his car through your living room window. Checking yourself out in your bathroom mirror one last time, you make sure your concealed weapons and headpiece aren't visible, before grabbing your phone, keys, and wallet from your backpack. A sudden knock on the door to your apartment causes your eyebrow raises in suspicion, and you slip your shoes on before answering.

"Dick?" You greet the blue-eyed man standing in your doorway, surprised to see a bouquet of gorgeous white roses in his hands. His hair is styled neatly, and he's clean-shaven, too.

"Hey." He flashes you an excited smile taking in your outfit. "You look great." He comments, his brow furrowing ever so slightly as he looks you up and down, taking in your casual attire.

"Thanks… You didn't have to come up here and get me, though. I was on my way down. Am I under-dressed?" You ask him, noting the button-up shirt and freshly pressed pants he's wearing.

"No, not at all." He extends his arm, presenting you with the roses. "These are for you."

"Oh." Your eyes narrow in confusion, glancing between the roses and his expectant grin. "Thanks… I'm assuming I'll need these later?"

Dick clears his throat and tugs at the collar of his shirt. "Well… I mean… need is a strong word," he replies, chuckling awkwardly, "But you can leave them here, if you like. To enjoy when we get back."

Him saying 'when we get back' makes you think there must be some follow up or additional work to do after you complete your objective.

You grin, and take the flowers from him. "So, does that mean we're pulling an all-nighter?" You turn your back to him and walk towards your kitchen to get a vase for the roses. You just miss the bright pink flush that creeps into Dicks cheeks.

"Uhm… I mean, I didn't want to assume anything, here, but if that's where the evening takes us…” He scratches the back of his neck, and follows to join you in your small but tidy kitchen.

He finds you at your sink, filling a tall jar with water. "Yeah, I got nothing going on tomorrow. We can go all night if we need. I've been in the mood for some action, anyways." You explain casually.

His face grows even more red, suddenly feeling very warm in the shirt he chose to wear. "L-let's just get through dinner first."

---------------//---------------

Your eyes scan the fancy restaurant, taking in the scene, noting all the exits, eyeing the people occupying the tables around you. There's a quiet hum of conversation, laughter, and clinking glasses that fills your ears. You don't notice anything out of the ordinary, but you stay diligent, slightly annoyed that Dick hasn't told you why you're here yet.

A couple to the left of us. Man and woman. Mid-thirties, wedding bands, the woman is on her phone, barely paying attention to her date. We have another couple on our right, two men, could be 50's or 60's, hard to tell. Nice watches. Ordered the salmon…

Dick pokes at his pasta with his fork, a small frown on his lips. He's been acting weird since you got here. But he didn't give you any briefing, which makes you think he must be waiting for someone. He said you would enjoy what he had planned, maybe taking down an old enemy of yours? You wrack your brain, trying to remember the last villain who wronged you.

Dick says your name, snapping you out of your thoughts. "Hm? Yeah?" You ask, looking up at him blankly.

"Are you okay? You don't seem to be enjoying yourself."

The waiter passes by your table, refilling your wine glasses with a polite nod.

"Thanks." You tell him with a brief smile. Your attention returns to Dick, who's blue eyes are trained on your own. "I'm fine, Dick. Honestly? I'm just a little confused about what we're trying to accomplish here. What's our objective?"

"The objective," he sighs, and takes a sip of his wine. "The objective is to enjoy ourselves. Spend quality time together."

You barely hear the words he's saying, thinking instead of how he's already on his second glass of wine. He isn't even fake sipping, like you are. This isn't like him. Dick never drinks while he works, unless he's undercover. But even then he will limit himself, never wanting a mission to go bad because he was inebriated.

"Uh, Dick? Shouldn't we cap if off at one?" You ask, nodding to the glass in his hand. "We need you sharp, don't we?"

His eye's widen a little as he sets his glass down. You find it hard to place the emotions playing across his face. He almost looks offended.

"Sharp… right." He sighs, grabbing his napkin and wiping his mouth, shaking his head a little in disbelief. "You know what? You're something else. I really wanted this to be a chance for us to get better acquainted outside of work. I wanted to get to know you better." He waves down the waiter again, signaling that he's ready for the check. "But it's clear to me now why you even agreed to this."

Now it's your turn to go wide-eyed. "Outside of work? Dick, what are you-"

"I honestly thought you were different. I thought we had chemistry. Real chemistry. Maybe I was wrong. Seems like you're only interested in making sure I can perform later, is that it? An all nighter? You can't even humor me, and enjoy a nice meal together first? You've barely said a word, and you haven't even touched your food."

Realization hits you like a ton of bricks.

Dumb. You are so fucking dumb. This isn't work, this is a date. A real date. No wonder he's dressed so nice. He brought you flowers. Fuck, how could I be so dense?!

"I… Dick, when you texted me yesterday, I thought-"

"Save it." He grumbles, rubbing his temples and avoiding eye contact. "Let’s just get this food to go and forget this ever happened."

You sit up straighter in your seat, and reach across the small table for his hand. "Please, let me explain?"

He looks down at your hand, then narrows his eyes at you. "You're going to tell me I'm wrong?" He challenges.

You aren't used to this. His glare sends chills down your spine. You don't often find yourself at the receiving end of Dick Grayson's anger, but its unsettling every time.

"Y-yes. You're wrong." You curse yourself for stuttering, but your heart is racing now, nervous about how badly this miscommunication could affect your relationship. Your eyes plead with his while your hand rummages around for your phone in your jacket pocket. "I think I misunderstood your texts. Just let me pull them up real quick."

The waiter returns too soon, check in hand. Dick waste's no time laying down a few crisp bills before angrily standing up. "No need. You thought this was just a hookup. I get it. Never mind about getting it to-go. Why don't you stay here, enjoy the rest of your meal alone." He throws down another large bill, slamming it down with his fist right in front of you. "You can take a cab home."

"No! Dick, please!" You stand from your chair, cloth napkin falling to the floor, watching him stalk past you towards the exit of the restaurant, anxiety filling your stomach with dread.

► let him leave.

► follow him.

don’t steal my work. don’t repost it somewhere, upload it to another site, use it to train ai, or claim it as your own.

[cobalt-knave]

undefined

I simply enjoy Marius, Raphaella, and Ivy’s excited flapping before they attempt to sing at Lyfrassir.

[Video Description: A recording from the Death to the Mechanisms stream. Everyone except the Toy Soldier and Nastya are present.

(Instrumental.)

[LYFRASSIR] Days I’ve been watching it now. The same scenes, the same faces, over and over again. Then distortion. Interference. Static. It’s all a blur.

[THOR] Odin, you time has come… 

[LOKI] Flashes of memory, flashes of history burn… Nothing but dust… 

[ODIN] Mile after mile…

[SIGYN] A world anew, I’ll carve for you… 

[THOR] Odin, you time has come… 

[LOKI] Flashes of memory, flashes of history burn… Nothing but dust… 

[ODIN] Mile after mile…

[SIGYN] A world anew, I’ll carve for you…

[LYFRASSIR] Nothing. I've got nothing. There's only one option left, and I really, really don't want to have to take it. Shortly after the train failed to emerge, a group of bandits arrived to prey on the chaos. (The Mechanisms theme tune begins to play and many of them begin dancing around a bit onstage.) Their weapons and technology were utterly alien to us, and it took almost 20 years to capture them. Even stranger, in the 60 years of their imprisonment, they have stubbornly refused to age. But they have shown an affinity with technology beyond what we know. If anyone understands the Bifrost, it'll be them. I hate them.

(The lighting shifts from green to yellow. Marius salutes Lyfrassir while he speaks.)

[MARIUS] Ah! Good morning, Inspector Lyf!

[LYFRASSIR] Von Raum.

[MARUS]  And what can we do for you this fine prison day?

[RAPHAELLA] Is it about the Bifrost?

[LYFRASSIR] Eh, yes. How did you know?

[IVY] Given your known distaste for us, it is the only event with a greater than 30% chance of bringing you here. Has the train arrived?

[LYFRASSIR]  Yes, a few days ago.

(Marus flaps a hand at Raphaella)

[RAPHAELLA] We should be going, you guys.

[LYFRASSIR] Right, well good luck with that. I'm, I’m just here because I need to know what happened, what happened in the Bifrost.

(Marius and Raphaella begin excitedly flapping their hands at each other, and Ivy bounces excitedly holding up her flute.)

[MARIUS] Ah! Well then... We shall tell you...

(Marius wields his violin. Lyfrassir hold up a hand, begging him to stop.)

[LYFRASSIR] No. No. You really don’t, just, uh, okay. No. There’s no, okay—NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO SINGING—

(Tales To Be Told begins)

(Marius hold up his bow and gestures as he sings.)

[MARIUS] Like whiskey laced with gasoline, we’ll get you stinking drunk, so shut your face and settle down you s—

[LYFRASSIR] SHUT UP. SHUT UP. I AM SICK OF YOUR SINGING. WHERE DID YOU GET THAT VIOLIN?!

(Marius looks at his violin. Where did he get that violin? He pulls it down.)

[LYFRASSIR] Just tell me.

(Ivy gives a sigh and crosses her arms.)

[MARIUS] Well if you're going to be like that, you can just watch the black box.

(Ivy shakes her head in agreement.)

[LYFRASSIR] I can't, it’s, it’s corrupted and I, the bit came off.

(Lyfrassir looks at the black box in their hand.

[IVY] Did you break the artifact?

[LYFRASSIR] I didn’t, it’s just. I don’t think it was very well made.

[IVY] Give it here.

(Ivy holds out her hand for the black box like an aggrieved parent. Lyfrassir hands it to her and shrugs while she begins to fiddle with it.)

[CAMERON (voice in distance)] I’m not making you another one!

[IVY] Don’t worry, conservation efforts are underway.

[IVY] And don’t. Break it. Again.

(She hands the box back to Lyfrassir.)

[LYFRASSIR] Not gonna have another chance. Okay.

(Lyfrassir looks at the box and kneels down to place it down. When they stand, they gesture in short, sharp movements when they speak and sound increasingly distressed.)

[LYFRASSIR] The recordings are clear now. I can see it all. The first recording that matters, that really matters is from the engine room. Thor and Sigyn stare towards where the engine should be, but there is no engine. Instead, a man lies upon a silver altar. His name is Kvasir, a low level member of the Midgardian resistance, but that doesn’t matter.

(The stage lighting is now red.)

What matters is the dozen tubes and feedlines plugged into his veins, pumping, pushing his blood through the glyphs and gears and grooves that line the chamber. They’re made of the same metal as the track, and they hum like a far off chant.

From their expressions it is clear that neither Thor nor Sigyn had any idea what was in this room. After a moment’s panicked hesitation, they run. Sigyn to Kvasir, pulling tubes, blood seeping, gushing, weeping away, Thor running to the controls, pulling switches and throwing levers, the glyphs and sigils warp and change their constellations and then they stop. It is unclear whether it was interfering with Kvasir or Thor meddling with the controls, but both of them can tell that something has gone very, very wrong.

(They drop down with the musical sting and Raphaella is seen rising behind them.)

/End VD]

[prettypinkpuddles]

Sally Face X Black Reader

♡︎𝙰/𝙽: 𝚒 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗 𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚔𝚒𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚛 𝚟𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚘 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚜 𝚂𝚊𝚕 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚒𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗��𝚜

♡︎𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜: 𝙻𝚘𝚝𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚕𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕-𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚕𝚞𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙵𝙽𝚊𝙵, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚎𝚜 𝚒 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚂𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝙵𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚎𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝟷𝟿𝟿𝟶’𝚜-𝟸𝟶𝟶𝟶’𝚜 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚋𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚘𝚏 𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚔....

♡︎𝚃𝚠𝚒𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐: 𝚂𝚌𝚊𝚛 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔, 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚌, 𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐

♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎

“Hey! Close the door!” You squeaked and hid yourself from the burning brightness emitted from the opened door. A small shadow slid through the opening of the door and quickly shut it, the word ‘sorry!’ repeated over and over.

Your eyes quickly readjusted to the darkness and you saw Sal, holding his school bag and a gameboy.

“Hey, Mask Boy.” You wiggles your toes at him and he hummed. “Was school tolerable?”

He shrugged, opening his bag and pulling out an orange car and setting it on the floor. You smiled and reached down to it, rubbing your thumb behind its ear.

“Hi Gizmo!” You grinned at the plump cat and he purred and pushed himself into your touch. Sal chuckled and sat next to his cat and leaned onto your knee. He began rambling about how his day at school was, how boring classes were, Travis, and a new oddity in the school he discovered. You listened to him curiously, albeit getting a bit agitated about Travis and his infuriating antics.

“I’ll come to school with you tomorrow….” You mumbled. “I know I don’t go much anymore, just having you and Larry give me my homework and letting you turn it in, but I’ll go with you guys tomorrow.”

Sal nodded, holding his excitement behind his mask and simply saying ‘ok’.

“You’re smiling under that mask aren’t you?” You teased and he didn’t say anything, just a noise of embarrassment. You giggled and ruffled his hair, continuing with your game.

“Did you get a new character?” Sal asked.

You sighed, “Unfornately no. They just gave me a stupid 4star claymore.”

“Hey! Claymores are badass!” Sal defended with a happy tone.

“That’s why I’d be a bow or pole arm user. Light weapons.”

You scoffed playfully, “Like you could even lift one! I bet they weight like 60 pounds!”

“Nah, catalyst needs no weight at all. Just waving your arms around with attacks.”

“Is that why you main Mona?” Sal smiled, watching as you used Zhongli’s burst to destroy a bunch of fatui.

“Hey! Mona is gorgeous.”

Sal took hold of his cat, stroking his tail. “She’s also very mysterious.”

“Which makes her even better! It’s written in the stars!” You grinned and Sal rolled his eyes.

“Ninguang’s better.”

You began quickly mashing your buttons, trying to defeat the stupid abyss lector in time so you could pass. Sal began chuckling at your rising frustration and when you started shouting for Razor’s burst to recharge, he lost it, bursting into a fit of laughter. You got really close to the TV and began shaking the controller, unleashing a purple wolf made of electro at the hydro abyss mage.

“C’mon! Just dieee!” You groaned and kept slashing the oversized fluff ball until it disintegrated into red ash. The timer stopped and it showed you with two stars. You raised the controller in the air and smiled, falling back onto Sal and cheering for yourself.

“You really hate abyss mages, huh?” He smiled at you and you pouted, raising a middle finger to the screen.

“Fuck you, fuck ya daughter, fuck ya grandmother, fuck ya dead great grandmother. Fuck you, and all ya kids. And your ugly ass motherfucking black ass son!” You jeered at the teasing enemies, a great distain for them in your heart. Sal crawled to sit between your legs and watch you blow through the spiral abyss. He urged you to use your bursts at times and would cheer for you softly whenever you managed to gain three stars. He undid his pigtails and pulled his fingers through them, even using it’s length to try and distract you.

You played for hours, co-opting with Sal and Larry to fight bosses, help Larry with his trash character builds and unlock all the waypoints in his world.

☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾

You looked at the school’s name hanging above it’s entrance with annoying and a twinge of fear. You didn’t even realize how long you were there until a hand intertwined itself with your left one. You looked at Sal, a smile coming to your face and you walked inside. You waved to Maple and Chug, seeing them at Maple’s locker with a a notebook and a pencil. You didn’t bother to stop at your locker, deciding to carry your bag with you throughout the day.

“Hey Y/N!”

You looked to Ashley who was putting lipgloss on in her locker mirror. She turned to you and waved to you, walking up to you and Sal. You smiled at her and the three of you walked to your first classes.

When you sat down, you heard your teacher make a hum towards you. You looked up at him and he lifted his chin.

“I was wondering when you’d return, Y/N.” He croaked, his neck turning to look at the door. “I figured you’d drop out.”

A few giggles came out from the corners of the class. You felt an arm on your side, telling you to let it go but you tilted your head with a shit-eating grin, “And I thought you’d be fired, yet we’re both here so..”

Your teacher narrowed his eyes at you, which only made your grin grow with satisfaction. He began teaching, mostly boring stuff about biology. The only problem was it was so boring you felt like sleeping, until a buzz on your waist kept you awake. You pulled up your phone and read a text from Larry, asking you to bring the ‘stuff’ from your locker. You replied with an ‘ok’ and continued to pretend to pay attention. Your imagination began to wander, thinking of how big Bowser must be. At least 9 feet, but that’d make Mario an Italian midget…. And peach would be like 5’7.

Lunch was okay, but you didn’t eat the school’s lunch, not after the bologna incident. You watched as Sal came up to you from his geometry class and sat beside you. Larry and Ashley joined you. Larry gave you a look and you pulled up a grocery bag to the table. Larry smiled wide and untied it, pulling out a container of Chinese food. Ashley gasped and asked how he got it.

“Don’t worry I got us all food.” He reassured and pulled out a box of tacos for Ashley and a container of sushi for Sal.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize you were going to school today.” Larry said.

“You’re good. I’ll steal you guys’ food.” You giggled and immediately snatched a taco from Ash. She made a face and it made you snort. You immediately covered your mouth of embarrassment, your friends laughing at the noise.

“It’s ok, it’s cute Y/N. I promise.” Sal looked at you with warm eyes and you nodded shyly, biting into your stolen taco. Larry handed you a piece of drenched chicken bite and you took it, biting into it.

“Yknow, we should actually go out for lunch. It’d be more fun.” Ashley beamed.

“Yeah but I don’t wanna hear a teachers mouth about us leaving….” You rolled your eyes at the thought.

“What’re they gonna do? Tell us we can’t eat?” Larry laughed at his words and Sal shrugged.

“This isn’t too bad of an idea… putting stuff in one of your lockers.” He said and you nodded, wrapping your arm around him and pulling him to whisper in his ear.

“On your birthday, I’ll leave some applesauce and pizza for you in my locker. Your favorite brand and shop, ok?”

Sal nodded eagerly, his pigtail bouncing with happiness. The four of you looked around to see some kids leaving for next class and you decided to do the same.

“Hey, shithead!”

Sal sighed at the aggressive voice and turned to see Travis, an aggravated scowl on his face. You rolled your eyes at the dumb bully and started to pull Sal to your next class.

“What the hell do you want Travis?” He said, rather annoyed at these interactions with the boy.

“You think because your bitch is here you can act all hard in front of her?!” He shouted, which made you a little pissed. “Yeah, I’m talking to you, what?”

“Travis, you aren’t even worth my time.” You declared and turned away from him. A set of heavy footsteps came rushing towards you and Sal, a hand shoving you to the ground and a few thuds landed in your eardrums. You saw yourself on the tiles, and Sal on his knees holding his mask. You stood up and stomped toward Travis. He had a nonchalant look on his face, asking you what you were gonna do, that you wouldn’t dare hurt him. You whipped your hand across his cheek, pushing him back into the lockers. You stared daggers at him as you helped Sal stand and walked him to another hall. As Travis tried to get to Sal once more, you stepped toward him and pushed him back again, a look of rage on your face was enough to tell him to stop.

You looked at Sal once you were around the corner, trying to see if he was ok, but he hid his face. His mask was clutched to his chest and his fingers did their best to cover his scarred skin. You peeled them off, telling him to let you look and he closed his eyes in fear that you’d be disgusted. You rubbed his jaw, blood forming on his bottom lip and a gross slit on it. You wiped it gently, fear of opening the gash or hurting your precious Sal. You eyed the bruised lip, decided to lean forward and give the blue haired boy a soft kiss. He looked at you with wide eyes as you smiled sweetly at him.

You put his mask back on mad began to go to your next class but he stopped you.

“Why’d you…. Why’d you do that?”

You patted his head. “That’s what couples do. We’re no different, Sal. C’mon.”

He nodded and the two of you quickly rushed to class.

☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾☾

You heard the door of your room open and turned to see Sal and Larry walk in. You nodded to them and they waved to you.

“Did you bring my food?” You asked and Larry put a bag of sweets on your dresser. You thanked him and Sal sat beside you as you clicked away at your mouse and keyboard. He watched as you looked at the cameras, flipped your bear mask on and winded up the music box.

“Hey… heyyyy, get back.” You ordered as you flashed the red fox. Then your fingers fumbled to pull the mask over your head and a broken down animatronic appeared in your office. You gasped held your breath, throwing the protective mask on, but to no avail. You died.

You groaned in frustration and reached for the box of sweetness, grabbing a soft cookie and biting into it.

“Why do you okay that game? It’s so scary..”

Larry mumbled. You smiled at his comment, saying the game wasn’t scary and that Larry was just a baby. He tried to defend himself, saying that the game was scary but when you started up the game and he saw the shiny new chicken move to another room, he shrieked.

You laughed as he proved your point and kept playing your game, trying to beat the night and advance. You listened to Sal and Larry go on about their school day and you laughed as you kept your focus on your game.

“Did Travis do anything today?” You asked and Sal shook his head. Larry gave you a look as you reached for another cookie, asking if something happened when you went to school. You shook your head and explained what happened with you and Sal.

“That little…..!” Larry fumbled his words from anger and you waved it off, telling him to calm down and to drop it.

“That blond turd won’t do anything. And if he does, I’ll kick his ass.” You declared. Sal smiled at your words, thanking you for your help earlier. You turned and smiled at him, “I’m your partner in crime. It’s part of my job description.” You turned back but saw a bright blue bunny with rosy cheeks jump for you, killing you. You groaned in frustration, hearing one of Larry’s screams of terror. Sal chuckled and apologized for distracting you.

“Alright you dumb animals…. Let’s see what you got.”

[an-actual-angel]

Pairing: Connor (RK800) x Reader, Collin (RK800-60) x Reader, Richard (RK900) x Reader

Summary: The year was 2082. 44 Years after the android revolution. Things have turned south for humanity. Androids now rule the world, leaving humans to be considered as mere animals. While some Androids still have a general disdain for humanity some have taken to the idea of keeping them as “family pets.” You, born in captivity, specifically bred to be the perfect pet happen to get adopted by the RK brothers.

(If anyone wants to be added to the tag list, either dm or reply to this post <3)

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Chapter 36 -  Running away is easy, Its the leaving that's hard

It had almost been two weeks since you last saw Connor and Collin. It had been tough, to say the least, you missed them like crazy. You would constantly check your phone for messages that would never come. Perhaps it didn’t take them long at all to forget about you. You couldn’t let yourself get too upset about it though, this was your decision. Maybe it was easier for them to keep their distance. It would probably work out better this way in the end.

Danny was right when he said that life in the settlement wasn't going to be glamorous, it was hard work, something you weren’t used to, coming from living cushy in a penthouse. You mostly helped out with farming the land and tending to the chickens, feeding them, cleaning out their coop, collecting eggs, etc. You also got stuck with the job of babysitting some kids from time to time. It was good to keep busy though, to keep your mind away from androids.

When you had free time, you spent it mostly with Emily, catching up, attempting to look after her, although insisted she didn’t need the fuss.

You had been staying in Emily’s shack, it was just you her and her cat Pepper, but you made a good little family. You wondered whatever happened to the father of Emily’s child, she didn’t want to talk about him too much, whoever he was. She’d just say he was away.

You didn’t want to push her but your overbearing curiosity would not sit at peace. Some other ladies around the settlement had told you he had been taken by androids.

What Emily did tell you about the child’s father was that his name was James and he was the one that saved her from the adoption centre. Well, he’d been one of the humans in the midst of the one of the riots in the city who also happened to help some of the humans escape the centre.

“Took down two androids right in front of my eyes, that how I knew he was the one.” She laughed.  

“He took down two androids? On his own?” You spluttered out, not believing her.

“Yeah, with one of these,” Emily smirked handing you over a baton.

Taking it in your hand you examine it, slightly confused until you see a button near the bottom. “Is this one of the electric ones the cops use?”

“Yep, can take out an android with a few quick buzzes.” She points her chin at you and smiles. “That’s my man, always got the good weapons.”

“I’m quite surprised you settled on a man honestly.” You smirked, “Last time I saw you, you were giving puppy dog eyes to Olivia.” You cock your head to the side, raising your eyebrows.

“Yeah, I did have a thing for her, until she got adopted and you know. Kinda couldn’t see her anymore.”

“Liv got adopted?”

“Yeah.” Emily shrugged plainly and looked away.

“I’m sorry Emily.” You reach out your hand to touch hers.

“Why are you sorry?” She shakes her head, pulling her hand away from yours to rest on her baby bump.

“It just must have been lonely for you, without me and Liv.” You bite at the broken skin on your bottom lip.

“Yeah it was a bit, but then I met James.” She smiled a little but it faded fast. “He’ll come back you know.” She said quickly, more telling it as a way to convince herself, rather than you.

You nod back to her, not wanting to hurt your friend. “Of course Emily.”

Her hand wipes at her eye a little. “Best be getting to bed.” She stands to her feet. “You should as well” she smiles placing her hand on your shoulder.

“That’s probably a good idea.” You nod. “Big day tomorrow.”

___

You woke to the sun shining through the thin material of your makeshift curtain, with a rub of your eyes and a quick stretch you were up to start your day. Making breakfast for yourself and Emily was first on the list and then feeding Emily’s cat Pepper was second. The next few hours would be spent outside on the farm tending to some of the plants and vegetables, you would do this until lunchtime when you would have a quick bite to eat and then on to the ‘town’ meeting, a quick impromptu one that had been called by Danny.

They had received word from another settlement, one not too far from them that they would aid them in their next city raid.

“City raid?” You whispered to Emily, not understanding what he had meant.

“Yeah, we’d been planning this one for a while.” She whispers back quickly. “It’s how we get more weapons, people, stuff like that.”

“Does Connor know you guys have been doing this?” You ask.

“No. but he doesn’t need to know.” She shrugs. “We send our doughboys out with masks anyway.”

“Doughboys?” You asked even more confused than before.

“Yeah, our fighters.” She snaps as she furrows her brows. “Don’t you listen?” realising how quick she was with you she apologises “Sorry, I forgot that you’re still new around here. We call our ‘recruits’” she says with parenthesis. “Doughboys, and they get shit done. I was one before, well before y’know.” She rubs her bump.

“Never pegged you as a fighter.”

“Well, I guess there’s a lot you don’t know about me then.” She laughs.

“Ladies,” Danny calls Emily and your attention back to him.

“This time it’s going to be the big one.” Danny looks around at everyone’s faces. “There are people from other settlements in the city as we speak. It’s almost our time to join them. Three days. Three more days!” His weathered hand hits the table he was standing in front of. “And we're getting our boys back.”

You notice Emily nod to Danny, her lip wobbles as she turns to you.

“James.” she half-smiles half whimpers as her hand grabs yours.

You give her hand a tight squeeze and whisper a silent prayer that they will indeed find him alive and well.

As the day goes on most of the camp seems in a mixture of excitement and fear about the upcoming raid.

The ‘Doughboys’ as Emily called them, coordinating their plan of attack, parents ensuring their children that everything will work out, farmers, bakers, and medics in a tizzy to prepare the needed supplies.

As the evening settles in you begin to worry for Emily, what if they can’t find James? what if he’s not even alive?

Poor Emily has been through so much. She doesn’t deserve any more grief.

A part of you wants to tell her to not get her hopes up but saying that would be cruel. You just nod along and try to keep her comfortable. After dinner Emily ends up falling asleep on the recliner chair she had been sitting on. As you wrap a blanket over her shoulders you realise that you're almost out of firewood and the fire its self is beginning to dwindle down.

Grabbing one of Emily’s cloaks from a hanger, you drape it over your shoulders before heading out on your quest to seek out more wood.

Wooden logs were usually kept in an area just west of the settlement, it was a little walk through the trees but not too far. You usually preferred going out when it was brighter. The light from your phone only made the place look creepier. The quietness of the area didn’t help either, if it wasn’t for the noises made by nearby animals the place would be downright eerie. At least you could still see the warm glow of the settlement in the distance through the trees.  

You knelt down on dry dirt to pick up some of the logs from the bottom of the pile to put in the wicker basket that you had brought with you. After you make your selection you stand back to your feet and dust off the dirt of your clothes. Just as you are about to reach down for your basket again you are abruptly stopped by a large hand being placed over your mouth as well as an arm wrapping around your front holding both your arms in place so that you cannot struggle from the grasp. You try to wrestle your way out of the grasp in a fit of fear but a familiar voice sends you into shock.

“Please calm down.”

Is that?

Your body is frozen.

“I only grabbed you like this in case you screamed. Sorry, it was a bit abrupt, I know.”

Your heart begins to thump harder in your chest but this time not from fear.

“When I let go, please don’t scream.” The voice pleads.

You manage to nod your head, still, in your state of shock, the hands and arm loosen from you and you try to steady yourself on your feet before turning around.

You take a deep breath as you slowly move on your feet towards the person whose grip you had just been in.

“Richard.” You exhale deeply.

His tongue wets his lip before he attempts to speak, however, you cut him off.

“What are you doing here!? If anyone sees you!” You shout in a whisper at him.

“Look, I know, I know.” He lifts his hands in defence. “I was just lucky that you happened to be out here so I didn't have to go in there.” He gestures his head towards the settlement.

“Don’t dare step foot in there.” Your eyes widen as if he’s gone mad.

“I won’t, I won’t… If you come back.”

“What? No.” You shake your head.

“No?”

“I can’t Richard. I belong here.”

“Y/N, Look at this place. It’s disgusting.” He shakes his head as he scans his eyes across the poorly put together ‘town’. “Surviving on scraps, like an animal. You have a nice home, come back.” He reaches out to hold your hands.

You lift your brows to look up at him, your mouth becoming straight as you shake your head and slowly pull your hands away.

“I can’t, I just can’t.” You pick your basket off the ground and turn to walk away from the android.

“I’ll give you anything!” He shouts out. You turn your head to him.

“I’ll do anything.” He moves towards you again. “Just say the word. Please.”

He reaches his hand towards yours once more, his other caressing your cheek.

“I’ll even help with the rebellion.” He whispers.

“The rebellion?” You look up at him, your face plagued with even more confusion.

“Whatever it is the humans are planning. I can help, I can be of use just, please come back.” He begs his forehead now resting against yours.

“Wha- I don't understand. Why?” You whisper to him, closing your eyes as you press your forehead back against his.

“Because I love you.”

________________________________________________________________

Chapter 37 -  Alrighty Aphrodite

You had entered the settlement on your own again. Going back to your shack, you had to explain the situation to Emily.

“If he can get James back.” She stopped for a minute to steady her breath. “Then I’m on board.”

After a quick hug and farewell, you had a bag packed and you were off.

“I’ll be back.” You said once more to Emily before leaving.

“I know.” She nods.

Richard had been waiting for you just outside the gateway, you had told him to wait there so he wouldn’t spook the residents.

“I can carry that” Richard insist, taking your bag from your hands, before you could say anything he had it thrown over his shoulder. You bite at your lips not really knowing what to say but walking through the forested area with him in silence.

“It’s not too far of a walk to the car,” He said. “I did try to park as close as I could.”

You just nod and continue to walk. After another while of insufferable silence, you finally speak up to him.

“So, is it true?” You turn towards the Android. “Do you really love me?”

His eyes fall to the ground for a moment as he continues on. “Yes.” He fell quiet again for a moment before continuing on. “I think I first began to realise when Collin got in that accident. You stayed with him.” He let out an artificial sigh. “I started to think about if something had happened to you and-” He shrugged.

“It took me a long time to come to grips with my feelings as you could probably tell. I never experience this type of emotion before.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” You tilt your head attempting to make eye contact, his gaze still avoiding yours as he trudged forward.

“I was an idiot. A scared fool.”

“You are an idiot.” You stop for a minute causing Richard to stop as well, he moves closer to you, to see if you are alright. Taking him by surprise you lean up to press a kiss to his cheek. Richard hums for a second moving away slowly, he looks into your eyes before he tries to kiss your lips.

You however hold your hand out and say “I can't do that, I have boyfriends.” Before walking on.

“Yeah, ones that left you behind.” Richard sighs moving again to walk beside you.

“They did that to protect me.”

“Connor in his twisted reasoning. He probably did it more to protect himself. He is selfish. You have no idea what your leaving has done to Collin.” Richard grumbles.

“So you’re guilt-tripping me now?” You roll your eyes.

“I’m just saying.” Richard grunts, re-adjusting your bag against his back. “Why’d you not bring your suitcase?”

“This is just temporary.” You shrug.

“I see.”

“How’s Connor doing?” You change the subject before Richard tries to convince you to stay forever.

“He’s stressed about all of the attacks that have been happening in the city and he’s stressed because Collins current mental stability is not too fun. I think it would cheer him up to see you.”

“Yeah and he might murder you for bringing me.” You quip back.

“True. I guess we’ll just have to see.” He retorts as you notice Richard’s car parked in the distance. He did park quite close. Something Connor would also be pissed about.

“How did you find me anyway?” You ask the question that’s been on your mind since you first saw him.

“I’m afraid the truth of the matter might unsettle you a little.” He explains as his car beeps at his arrival.

“Go on.” You encourage him. “You can’t stop now.”

“I am one of the most advanced androids in existence.” He explains whilst throwing your bag in the back of his car. He then opens the passenger side door for you to get in. When you do he leans down to your ear to whisper, “I’m everywhere.” And with that, he closes the door.

You sit for a moment in contemplation as he gets into his side of the car to sit down. As he puts his seat belt on you turn to him with confusion on your face. “Did you hack my phone?”

Richard rolls his eyes as he starts up the car. “I was able to tap into the journey history of Connor's vehicle. I knew he was behind all of this.” He begins to explain as his own car sets out.

“When I got to the location of the factory I was able to scan for signs of nearby technology. Your settlement stood out like a beacon. Didn’t take too long for me to tap into some phones that were being used yes, and then I saw you.”

“Can other androids do all that?”

“Not a lot can. And definitely not to the extent that I can. As I say, I’m everywhere. Any piece of technology, I can tap into if I desire so.” Richard explains proudly.

“So, do you ever use it to spy on people?”

“Only if necessary.”

“You ever watch people naked?” You smirk a little.

Richard’s brows furrow as he blushes slightly. “No, I would not do that.”

You burst out in laughter at his defensiveness. “I’m just teasing.”

Richard adjusts his shirt collar in discomfort. “Indeed.” He replies dryly.

You smile and rest your head against the back of the seat.

“You know you can lie in the back if you want, it’s a long drive and you could do with some sleep.”

You swivel your seat around to look at the back seat, assessing it. Swapping your seat with your bag that had been put in the back and lay down on the cool leather.

“You don’t have any blankets do you?” You ask Richard as you attempt to find some level of comfort on the cold seat.

“No, sorry. I can turn the heat up if you like?”

“hmmpf.” You think for a minute. “Isn’t this car self-driving?”

“Yes,” Richard replies, not really sure at what you’re getting at.

“Why don’t you just put in the destination and then come back here and lie with me?”

His LED begins flashing red. “I think Connor would definitely try and kill me if we sleep with each other again.” Richard stammers.

“I wasn’t suggesting we have sex, oh my god!” You smack your hand over your mouth to not laugh.

Richard's face began to turn in cringe, “oh I just thought-”

“I meant so we could cuddle.” You explain, smirk still present on your face.

“Do you think Collin and Connor would be okay with that?”

“I think they’d be angrier if you let me get sick from the cold.” You tease.

“That is a fair point.” Richard raises a brow as he puts in the location for the car to self-drive. When he has it tapped in, he too swivels around in his seat to move to the back with you.

Richard is a little awkward at first as he clumsily shifted to lay down in the backseat with you, eventually pulling you into his chest. The thrum of his thirium pump makes you grin in triumph as he settles his head to rest on top of yours. Richard then changes his body temperature to a comfortable setting so that he could be your personal radiator for the next few hours.

Was this weird? Absolutely. Was this wrong? Maybe. Was this comfortable? YES.

But you allowed yourself the brief comfort of being in Richard's arms, even if it was just for this one night. Maybe you felt like you deserved it, you were entitled to some amount of comfort after all the crap you’ve been through.

A part of you was angry and Collin and Connor for not reaching out, even to send a measly little text message. Your more rational mind told you to drop it, something might have come up, you didn’t know the full story, and maybe it was too hard for them. Although that didn’t stop it from stinging your ego any less.

You managed to drift off to sleep rather quickly, that was one of the benefits from all the hard work you had been up to at the settlement, sleep found you a whole lot quicker. Richard had stayed beside you for the majority of the journey as well, cherishing the feeling of having you in his arms once again. Deciding to himself to never be without this feeling anymore. His face snuck its way between your neck and collar bone to take in your scent and to delicately place his lips against your skin just for a sweet moment of indulgence. He had to wiggle his hips away from yours so you would not awake with his growing hardness against your ass.

Feeling a little guilty for his body’s response he decided to give you some space, sliding his form out from the side, slowly as not to wake you. He couldn’t help but smiling down at how comfortable you seemed as he made his way back to the driver’s seat, the seat still swivelled around to face the back.

Richard did eventually wake you up as the car pulled into the private garage area for the RK’s apartment building.

“We're here, little dove.” He coos to you, brushing his knuckles down the length of your arm.

Your eyes squinted open, feeling blinded by the violently bright fluorescent lights of the garage you had found yourself in. Looking down you had noticed one of Richard's coats had been draped over you. You rubbed your eyes briefly before reaching down to it to hand it over to Richard.

“You put it on.” He insisted, pushing it back towards you. “At least until we get inside. It gets cold in the garage, at least that’s what my sensors tell me.”

You didn’t object you just nodded in silence, still in that groggy half sleep-like state. Throwing the oversized coat onto yourself you open the car door and hop out, Richard grabbing your bag soon follows behind, hand on your shoulder as he directs you towards the elevator.

It felt strange being back in the city, even stranger to see the apartment building again.

When you entered back into your old home, it had felt different somehow, a little bit eerie even. Suppose it didn’t help that most of the lights were off.

“Collin and Connor are both out at the moment.” Richard finally spoke up again, leading you by the shoulder into the dark living room, with a flash of his LED the lights were on.

You squinted again at the harshness of them before Richard had dimmed them to a more pleasing brightness level.

“Why don’t you go and get a nice hot bath and I can put your stuff away.” He awkwardly half-smiles over at you.

“Are you sure?” You ask skittishly.

“Of course.” He tilts his head in confusion, it’s not like having YOU here was any bother to him, he was bloody delighted. “After that, I can go get my brothers?”

“Right now?” You stuttered out the question, fidgeting with the large sleeves of Richard’s coat that you had forgotten to take off.

“Do you want some time before?” Richard asked, head tilting once more, exposing his pale neck to you.

You shook your head and looked back down at your hands. “I don’t know, maybe. It’s not that I don’t want to see them. This is all just a little overwhelming.”

“I understand.” Richard nods. “Just one thing at a time.”

You look up at him once more, catching his cool eyes in a stare, you nod. “A hot bath sounds good.”

________________________________________________________________

Notes:  I lowkey called Emily's love interest James after Bucky Barnes (cause for some reason I imaging him looking like Bucky lol)

Sorry I'd been gone for a while, just been really busy with work and general life stuff.

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Taglist: @connorsdimple @clussysposts @iris-suoh​ @jellicorn05​

(Let me know if  anyone  need added or removed from the tag list!)

[bokettochild]

For Robin and Dei: 1,2,3,5,7,12 & 13 (sorry if that's too many)

Yee! I love talking about these two!

1. Robin gets Dei's attention by whistling at him. She's incredibly good at whistling too. Dei usually just got her attention by calling her name.

2. Robin is where Sky gets his cuddling tendencies. She loves physical contact and absolutely adores having a huge husband, because that means she gets big hugs! (Sky is the same way about Groose's hugs). Robin likes almost constant contact, even if it just meant leaning against each other's backs while they work, or having their feet touch under the table while eating.

Dei was trained as a knight, and has a bit more concern for decorum and grace at first. He's not really used to affectionate touch that isn't slaps on the back or hand clasps from his brothers in arms. Robin helped him warm up more to it though. He enjoys contact with those that he loves and trusts, but otherwise will maintain physical distance from them.

3. Robin whistles and clicks her tongue a lot when she's working, and Dei has become used to her constantly making noise, even just subtle ones, throughout the day. She also tends to tap her fingers or toes, when she's eating, when working, all the time.

Dei still sticks to his soldier schedule on most days, despite being the only soldier at the time he and Robin were together. Every day he gets up early, he patrols Skyloft, and he comes home for a quick breakfast with her before heading to the Academy to help teach. And every evening after dinner he pulls out his armor and weapons and cleans them while Robin works on her weaving. Robin is spontaneous and he is well organized, and they count on the other to help switch it up on occasion. She counts on him for stability and he on her for excitement.

5. Robin is a very trusting person, very warm with everyone, so hearing her say "I love you" isn't uncommon. But that doesn't make it any less beautiful, just less of a special occasion and more a thing to look forwards to happily. She never fails to tell Dei that she loves him every morning when he leaves to go to the Academy, and she always whispers it before settling down for the night. Dei loves it, and he's not ready to leave or go to sleep until he hears it. When he left for the surface she told him 'I love you' 60 times, because she thought he would be gone only a month.

Dei is less open with affection, as previously mentioned, but he shows his love in little ways like writing Robin poetry and doing little things around the house that she isn't expecting. He does say it, but only on very special occasions when he's so overcome that his stupid Link-like emotional wall crumbles. The day they got married, the day they finished building their house and the day he left for the surface are the ones that stand out the most. Had he known they were going to have a kid, he would have told her it a million times before leaving, if he had ever left at all, but Robin only found out after he had gone away.

'I trust you' happens ore with Dei, and less with Robin. She shows her trust in everything from being willing to jump off cliffs for Dei (Sky got that from her too) to letting him loose in the kitchen whenever he wants. Dei tells her all thee time though, because trust is something he knew he had to have, had to give, when fighting as a knight. Any time they do something, or he asks her to do something for him, he usually tacks on something about believing in Robin or trusting her. She thinks it's silly and sweet, but in a good way, and she loves it.

7. Dei is tall, very tall. He is roughly seven feet now, after being changed, and Robin was maybe 5 and a half feet tall, so normal stride for him is jogging pace for her, and again, Sky got his asthma from his mom. So Dei walks very slowly and in small steps, and Robin walks normally and with big steps when they go places together. To save time though, Dei used to just pick her up and carry her, half as a joke and half because he loved holding her in his arms. Robin didn't mind, but she teased him relentlessly for it.

12. Dei doesn't use terms of endearment. He thinks using a persons name is too wonderful to not bother with, so he enjoys using first names with the people he is closest too. Orville and Robin are the only two that really held that spot though. When he says Robin's name, it's wih a reverence that never fails to warm her heart. Robbiin uses all sorts of pet names for him though, and while she definitely has her favorites, they're always playful. First names are what they use most of the time, and Dei adores hearing her say his name. It's so special to hear after being called "the hero" by most people for a good part of his life.

13. Robin is easy to make laugh, and even Dei's most serious expressions can make her laugh. She finds it so funny to see him trying to be stern, when she knows what a softy he really is. He also tells the dullest of dull jokes, but he tries so hard and that alone makes her crack a smile, no matter how bad things have been. In the reverse, Robin is something of a comedian and a master of jokes and gags; she's something of an entertainer at heart, so she will pull out all the stops to make Dei smile when she thinks he's had a bad day.

Hope these make you smile as much as they made me, Tel!

[kinetic-elaboration]

July 17: 2x26 Assignment: Earth

Finally finished up S2 of TOS yesterday. That was... a rough episode tbh. I’m just gonna say it: back door pilots are bad! They’re bad. If I wanted to watch that other show, I’d watch it.

Wow, they’re just really jumping right in, huh? “Here we are, on a routine mission into the past, using a time travel method that we invented nbd.”

Investigating desperate problems in the year 2020...2016.... no wait 1968.

Ooh, Spock in the transport room today. Does he have a whole extra random station there? That’s so weird; I’ve never seen that before. It’s like hidden in the corner.

Cat!! Cat!!

What a good actor. I’m still bitter that wikipedia has a whole section about the casting for “Isis the cat” that talks entirely about the human who played Isis for 2 minutes and nothing about the talented feline actor. Where did they find her? How did they teach her to act?

She has a lot of thoughts about Kirk.

I wrote down “Scully, you’ve got to see this” in my notes and I’ve already forgotten what it refers to lol. Some moment that I thought would fit well with my favorite x-files meme.

Change history, you say? Spock is intrigued. ...Admittedly, Spock is often intrigued.

“What if it turns out you’re an invading alien from the future?” Honestly...let him invade. You’re not supposed to be here anyway.

I’m pretty insulted by this. The aliens went through all this trouble to help in 1968...where are our alien helpers NOW?

The cat straight up attacked his face.

Kirk is so fond of Spock being fond of the cat.

“It’s a lovely animal. I feel myself strangely drawn to it.”

Kirk is way too confused by Seven--an allegedly human person with super-human abilities that he says come from aliens--and yet, he’s met Charlie X so??? Is this not the same?

Kirk’s got the whole crew checking in on zoom.

(I actually do like this sequence of him getting video calls from different parts of the ship.)

“Weren’t orbiting H-bombs a huge problem in 1968?” Looks at the camera like he’s on The Office. Not the subtlest bit of writing in the “social commentary” genre. I do say this with love, though. I always enjoy when they comment on contemporary problems.

“He has a totally perfect body.” Lol don’t distract these two bisexuals.

[soft meowing]

“The prisoner has escaped.” The way this is shot, it looks like he’s talking about the cat.

Hmm, I do love the decor. Very 60s. This honestly immediately feels like a different show, and a much more dated show; even when the Enterprise time travels, it tends not to time travel to... office space.

Love the little sounds the computer makes.

So is Isis supposed to be one of the fancy aliens? It’s never explained but one must assume she is.

Aw, he’s petting her paw.

So I assumed the cats sounds are real, but just dubbed. They’re not lol. Which I guess isn’t surprising: this cat makes a lot of noises! They were provided by a human voice actress.

Damn.... I want a secret bookshelf that turns around to reveal a super computer with a big screen. “Computer... play Netflix.”

That’s what Seven does in his spare time.

The computer is an AI. “Beta 5 snobbery” lol.

Where are OUR alien overlords to stop US from destroying ourselves before WE can mature into a peaceful society?

This is really masterful exposition lol. Not forced or awkward at all.

ST sure does love the snooty female computer trope.

“Get us the proper costumes.” Yes, get Spock his Requisite Hat.

Omicron IV....that’s one of the names they use in Futurama lol. Such nerds.

Another excellent Spock Hat.

I love Seven’s various IDs. Great style. I wish my driver’s license looked like those.

“Who do you think you are?” He hasn’t decided yet. That’s why he was shifting through his IDs.

Seven is not smart lol. Like, he should have figured out way faster that this lady isn’t one of the Alien Overlords. He asks her the code question, she doesn’t understand it, and he... assumes she’s just really in character? Dude, that’s what the code questions are for!!! To help you identify people! Otherwise you could just straight up ask: are you an alien?

Instead he’s like “oh, you silly alien, you’re playing with me,” and then is forced to trap her, reveal his whole mission, and ultimately ensnare her in his plan.

I want that typewriter. Voice recognition typewriter.

"My incompetence has made you aware of very secret devices." Well at least he knows.

Trained cat!

The alien overlords were killed in a random car accident. That’s ironic.

Oh look, a real rocket!

Brown pants + short sleeved shirt + tie is such a Classic 60s look.

This security guard doesn’t think it’s weird that this random dude has a cat with him? Is this part of Isis’s alien power?

Except for the part where it’s a weapon, it’s pretty cool to see all this build up to, like... launching stuff into space. Exciting.

Isis likes to be on shoulders. Just like Little Guy.

New hat for Spock. His outer wear hat, and now his fancy hat. There is something to be said for this ep, and that is Kirk and Spock in suits.

Amazing how they literally launched rockets with computers that old. Like seeing the big bank of primitive computers is totally wild. We put people on the moon that way! Amazing.

“Meow.” Lol, Isis is stressed so she’s speaking like a cat. That’s a pretty funny joke actually.

Seven is so incompetent. If he’d just let the Enterprise help, Scotty could have fixed that rocket issue in like 3 seconds.

Lol everyone’s just pulling Gary through space. Now on the Enterprise. Now in the office.

Why does this computer have a hug black screen if it only displays images on the small white circle?

"Spock and  I in custody. Main characters, doing nothing, knowing nothing, totally useless and irrelevant. I have never felt more helpless." Literally what is even the point of them today? Does Spock even have lines outside of “I like the cat”?

Isis is jealous of Roberta. Is she.. in a relationship with Seven lol?

Uhura is listening to everyone in the world. She probably has a universal translator on, but I do feel like this scene implies she just...understands all the languages.

So now the warhead is armed and heading to somewhere vague... in other words, everyone has collectively made the situation worse.

....Or this was Seven’s plan all along? To scare people into ceasing to be so careful with nuclear weaponry? As someone who knows humans better than this guy, I think this is a dumbass plan.

“That’s why so many people in my generation are kind of crazy and rebels.” Same, sweetheart.

Really this is just a story about bad communication. If Seven had told Kirk his plan upfront, Kirk would have helped him. And if Kirk weren’t so insistent on involving himself in something just because he happens to be somewhere he probably shouldn’t be, we wouldn’t have this issue either. The hubris of everyone.

Overall, just a really forced narrative imo.

Or that’s how it was supposed to be lol. The Irony of time travel. By it’s nature, everything has already worked out.

Kirk and Spock are like “You’re welcome. Peace out.”

Honestly... Isis was the only good part. Such a talented cat actor!! Or trio of cat actors, I guess. Had to do all those stunts and stuff.. .amazing. I also liked the concept of Isis. How she turned into a human later just to troll Roberta. How she’s never really explained--one must assume, an alien? Plus I pretty much never get tired of human + animal teams where the animal makes animal noises and the human just understands and answers in English.

As a stand alone sci fi concept...it was okay. Kinda dated by now. The alien tech was nifty and Roberta could have grown on me. Maybe even Seven, though he left a lot to be desire. That said, the narrative relied a lot on people getting in each other’s way for no reason, which I find very frustrating.

But as a Star Trek episode....no. The main characters were just nuisances on the side lines!! I’m not even sure what Kirk’s mission here was--to try to figure out what Seven was doing? And stop him if necessary? But he never really decided if it was or not, until the point where not trusting him would basically cause a nuclear war? I don’t know, I found it all very frustrating. The melding of the original show and the spinoff was not smooth.

If I were watching this in 1968, I’d feel very cheated. THIS was the season finale? That’s it? I don’t even get a real Star Trek episode and now I have to wait months for anything new?

And what I get after all that waiting is Spock’s Brain?? I’d be tempted to quit. If I had a tumblr in 1969 I’d be writing multi-paragraph rants about how the best show on television has completely nose-dived lol.

But then there’s The Enterprise Incident, which is one of the best episodes... I don’t know, man. It’s a conundrum. I’ve only seen maybe half of season 3 but from what I remember it’s very uneven: some of the best eps (The Enterprise Incident, For the World Is Hollow, Day of the Dove) mixed in with some of the worst (Spock’s Brain, The Paradise Syndrome), plus some that are good concepts but shoddily executed (The Way to Eden). So we’ll see what I think about it when I see it all in one piece, in air date order.

[3pirouette]

Fic: My Kingdom for a Sword (1/1)

Title: My Kingdom for a Sword By: TriplePirouette/3Pirouette Spoilers: None Disclaimer: They're not mine. Word Count: 1345 Distribution: AO3 Anyone else please ask first :)

Story Summary: Steve wants a special kind of Sword. Peggy says no.

A/N: for the Prompt “Sword” in Steggy Bingo Bash! @steggybingobash (I’m sorry.) Also, this Story supposes Steve and Peggy are together post- WW2. It doesn't really work as being Endgame compliant, so add in your favorite "Steve never went down in the Valkyrie/Steve was rescued very fast" head-canon.

~*~

“No,” Peggy replied, moving into the house to let Steve in behind her. “Absolutely not.”

Steve moved in quite a bit slower, a smile still on his face. “Come on, Peg. Wouldn’t that be cool? It would go really well with the shield.” Steve moved around, still in his long trench coat, miming a battle.

Peggy stopped, staring at him, hands on hips. She had to work hard to keep a smile off her face. His child-like enthusiasm was infectious, even if they were both pushing 60 years old. He shrugged and smiled at her, shutting the door behind him.

“You know you want one.” Steve accused playfully as he took off his coat and then took hers, hanging them up. “I saw you in that theater, the way you watched them.”

Peggy rolled her eyes and kissed him on the cheek before slipping out of her shoes, still silent. Because she absolutely did want one but she didn’t want him to know that. “I can warm up the leftovers from dinner last night, or soup. Your choice.” She stole away, slipping into the kitchen and smiling to herself.

“Leftovers are fine,” Steve called after her, holding his hand up and mimicking the movements he saw on the screen. “Howard can probably make me one. I’ll call Howard in the morning.”

Peggy poked her head around the doorframe, lips set tight. “Absolutely not.”

Steve laughed, moving into the kitchen. “Of anyone, Peg, Howard absolutely can make me one.”

“No,” Peggy pulled the covered dish from the refrigerator, shaking her head. “Absolutely no laser swords in this house.”

“Lightsabers.” Steve pivoted, turning on the oven for her. “They’re called lightsabers.”

“Same thing,” Peggy looked at him over her shoulder as she uncovered the stew and gave it a good stir. “A saber is a sword.”

“Well…” He let his head dip sideways, relenting that point as he leaned against the counter.

“And could you imagine?” Peggy set the spoon aside and slipped the stew into the oven. “You, bouncing around this house with a laser sword? My curtains would be ruined!” She could barely contain herself, keeping a straight face was almost impossible now.

Steve, seeing her close to cracking, couldn’t help himself. He swung into action, gliding across the room and pulling her to his side, grabbing a pen from the table on the way and brandishing it light a lightsaber. “I can imagine!” He turned sideways, swinging her around and fighting against imaginary foes with his pen-saber. “Fighting storm troopers, rescuing the princess from the Galactic Empire…” He spun and threw her over his shoulder, one arm across her thighs as he bounced them into the living room as she squealed in surprise and delight, fighting off invisible foes. “Flying through space, visiting distant and strange planets…”

Steve spun in a circle, Peggy squeaking with delight, her laugh like music to his ears as he set her down, tossing the pen to the side. “Getting the girl…” he said low and soft before dipping her in his arms, taking her lips with his.

Peggy wrapped her arms around him, letting him keep her from the clutches of gravity as he kissed her. He righted her slowly, hands roaming around her hips. “I like the part where I get the girl.”

“You’ve already got her,” Peggy answered, kissing him gently again. “Besides, I think I liked that Han Solo guy better.”

Steve reflexively pulled back. “Han Solo?” She nodded. “The smuggler?” She nodded again, smiling. “You liked the morally ambiguous smuggler better than the young Jedi with the enormous destiny?”

Peggy shrugged. “What can I say? I like what I like.” She played with Steve’s collar, undoing the top button. “Besides, he had a gun. I always liked guns better than swords.”

“Blaster,” Steve replied against her lips as she kissed him. “He had a blaster.”

Peggy tugged Steve towards the couch. “Are you going to argue with me or are you going to take off my pants?”

“Mmmm, decisions, decisions…” Steve teased as he kissed down her neck. Just as he was starting to lower them to the couch, the phone rang. He pulled them right side up again and stepped back. “To be continued?”

Peggy nodded, smiling as she pulled her clothes straight and followed Steve back into the kitchen.

Steve picked up the receiver, still smiling at Peggy as she checked on their dinner. “Hello?”

“Steve! Perfect!” Howard’s excited voice came through the phone. “I have a very important question to ask you.”

Peggy turned, closing the oven as the stew wasn’t quite ready. She raised her eyebrows, Steve just mouthed ‘Howard,’ back at her. She nodded and continued to move around the room, pulling out bowls and silverware.

“Sure, what can I help you with?” Steve turned, searching for the pen they kept by the phone, realizing he’d tossed it somewhere in the living room in his excitement.

Steve heard the clatter of the phone moving, then a small, high voice came on the phone. “Uncle Steve! Can you come over tomorrow?”

Steve laughed, smiling. “Sure, Tony, I think I can stop by for a bit.”

“He can come! Yay!” He heard Tony’s voice fall away as the child abandoned the phone, likely bouncing around the room. Howard picked up the receiver. “Steve?”

“Still here. What’s the kid excited about?”

“Have you seen that new movie, Star Wars?” Howard asked, his own excitement starting to shine through the phone.

“Yeah, actually, Peg and I just got back from seeing it.”

“Great, so you’ll know what I’m talking about.” His voice took on the tone of excitement and wonder that he’d never lost over the years when talking about his inventions. “I think I can do it.”

“Do what?” Steve asked, hoping he already knew the answer.

“Build a lightsaber. You in?”

Steve’s smile grew tenfold. “Yes!” he replied almost too quickly, which made Peggy turn quickly.

She took in the grin and sparkle in Steve’s eyes and crossed the room, pulling the phone from him. “No. Howard, absolutely not!”

“Peg!” Howard’s voice was slightly less excited hearing her voice.

Peggy shook her head as Steve bounced about the kitchen, engaging in yet again another invisible laser sword battle. “You cannot, Howard. Do you know how dangerous—"

“Come for 11, Peg. We can all have a nice lunch then you ladies can go have a nice afternoon somewhere that’s not here and leave the men to the fun stuff.”

Peggy started to argue, ready to rant for so many things in that last sentence, but she heard the phone get wrestled away from Howard. “Aunt Peggy! We’re gonna make lightsabers!”

“Are you, now?” She asked, slightly mollified as she knew that if Tony was going to be involved the potential for life threatening loss of limb went down some as Howard was at least sensible in that regard. She found she couldn’t be angry at the boy’s enthusiasm.

She could nearly hear him bouncing over the phone. “Yup. I’m gonna be a Jedi!”

Peggy shook her head, rolling her eyes. “We’ll see you tomorrow, Tony.” She hung up the phone and Steve paused, stuck in a pose reminiscent of a fencer.

He slowly stood, smiling softly. “Well?”

She took a few steps to cross the floor, laying her hands on his shoulders. “If Tony’s to be involved then Howard’s much more likely to make a glorified flashlight than anything that could truly be a weapon.” She shifted Steve to the side, grabbing pot holders and sliding dish out of the oven. “I suppose I can’t argue too much.”

Steve waited until she’d set the steaming stew on top of the stove before he wrapped his arms around her from behind, kissing her on the cheek. “So… does this mean I can have my laser sword?”

Peggy paused, and finally smiled. “As long as you let me play with it, too.”

Steve picked her off her feet, whooping with joy as he carried her around the kitchen. “I get to be a Jedi!”

~*~

A/N: Star Wars came out in May of 1977, Steve and Peggy would both be close to 60, Tony would be about 7. You cannot convince me that a Steve would not be a giant Star Wars freak or that the first thing he and Howard would try to do would be build lightsabers.

[fleshxfailures]

introduce yourself

Hi friends! I’m Tonie (she/her) and I play Medea, Seif, and Rodin. I recently finished grad school and have been working to flex my creative muscles more and spend more time writing with you all! Presently I work nearly full-time in bridal sales so I may be a bit busy during the day but I can be reached pretty easily through dms and will try to get back as soon as I get a free moment! check out the rest of my intro below:

describe yourself as a writing partner

I’m pretty laid back but I do try to get to responses as soon as I can, especially now that I don’t have classes on top of working to keep my hands tied. I tend to be a bit wordy but never worry about matching length! I just happen to take longer trying to come up with something shorter rather than writing out a longer blurb lmao, I tend to favor longer paragraphs with gifs but I’m not opposed to other types or lengths of replies. Dming is the best way to get a hold of me as the notifications help me remember who I was meaning to reach out to, but I will open things at work and forget sometimes so do feel free to pester me if I haven’t responded--I promise it’s not because I’m not interested! I love chatting out headcanons and can’t wait to come up with new plots with you all!

who are your characters? (click for bios)

Seif Al-Ansari: he/him, ghoul, 86 (appears in his late 30s). Bladesmith trust fund baby that spends most of his time holed away in his home forge or walking his rescue dog Siggy out and about. Introverted grumpy gus who secretly just wants to talk about historical weapons. Probably knows quite a few people through his dog Siggy alone, she insists on stopping for treats and pets. Medea Colchis: she/her, mage, 73 (appears to be in her 40s). Medea stems from a long line of powerful sorceresses but was discouraged from practicing magic by a mother who had been ungifted. She has spent the best of her later years honing her magic and owns an apothecary storefront, specializing in potioneering, elemental magic, and poisons. Likes fine arts, wine, and live music and appearing emotionally unavailable. Queen of treating herself. Rodin: he/they, demon, unknown (appears to be in his late 50s/early 60s). Owns The Gates of Hell bar frequented by members of the criminal underground and supplies them with various weaponry. Rodin is old as dirt and has very few allegiances; he will help most anyone with procuring resources or knowledge if they’re willing to pay the proper price. He gets very excited about destruction.

plot ideas

Seif: someone please let him be a nerd about blades and talk shit about historical inaccuracies in popular media (aka this grumpy boy needs some friends). i also uhhhh would love to see him in an antagonistic relationship because he’s got a temper and i want to see him fist fight lol. he also supplies weapons through rodin some times so it would be fun to see him involved in some shadier business, and have some regular customers in general Medea:  my chaotic wine aunt, it would be great to see her have some friends to cause a ruckus and go to museums/art galleries with. she also loves helping others meddle and would be happy to supply spells and potions for your assorted revenge plots and the likes (especially if something ends up going wrong oops). she’s running from a tragic past which could be of interest to either potential enemies or intimate relationships. she’s been playing the emotionally unavailable card for a while because of it so i’d also be open to casual romantic interests or even tiptoeing in to something more serious. Rodin: first and foremost, i’d love to get him in to all kinds of trouble! as supplier of the criminal underground there would be plenty of opportunity to get involved in some shady business. he’s also very old so it would be nice to see him come across faces he may not have seen in a very long time. as the main plot progresses i think it would be interesting to have some interactions that would require him to get more personally invested in the community and the drama being unveiled from more than just a business standpoint.

wanted dynamics

Seif: platonic friends, fellow creators/artisans, maybe individuals with specific opinions (positive or negative) about ghouls, customers past and present, past or present romantic/sexual partners, someone older who might have information (troubled past w/ the supernatural government) on him to hold over his head, someone who pulls him out of his shell

Medea: platonic friends, fellow business owners, fellow magic practitioners, antagonist characters, someone she may have done wrong in the past (through her own doing or by helping someone else screw them over), neighbors that may find her jazz and barefoot dancing in the back yard schtick seem odd lol, past and present customers, past or present romantic/sexual partners, someone she feels comfortable opening up to/can be vulnerable around, intimacy that’s terrifying and exhilarating. 

Rodin: i absolutely would love for you all to use rodin in your shady business as much as possible, he’s very much the type to sit by on the sidelines and be an enabler with his wheeling and dealing. would also be interested in friends old and new, bar regulars, weapons enthusiasts, antagonistic relationships (especially with angels, though he has been known to target lesser demons to collect souls for weapons so like, who hasn’t he pissed off by now?)

present headcanons what is your character(s) doing in the present?

Seif: business as usual. he commissions custom orders out of his home forge and also sells a variety of blades to/through Rodin. he makes daily trips out with Siggy either for supply orders or simply for coffee and a walk. very much enjoys his (somewhat bland) routine, could use some spicing up. lives in his family’s historic mansion

Medea: constantly treating herself to local fare and sights when she isn’t working, does a great deal of gardening for her own materials. always shopping around and splurging, be it on wine or local businesses or clothing. lives a rather lavish but solitary lifestyle, perfectly comfortable going out places on her own. extravagant but eco-conscious lol. lives on the waterfront

Rodin: loves causing a commotion and encouraging chaos. gets excited when he comes up with new weapon ideas, disappears occasionally to fight some lesser demons or celestial beings to make weaponry of them. usually always on the bartender side of the bar but can be seen mingling, mostly in his own establishment unless duty calls. lives in a penthouse downtown

do you have any inspirations for your muses

pinterests to come!!

[capricornus-rex]

Bad Ideas Make Good Memories (3)

Cal Kestis x Reader

Requested by @queen-destenie​ | Prompt:

i live for you qUEEN! i LOVE your writing. if you have the time, could you do a fic where reader is the most reckless badass and Cal is like ‘wait don’t do THAT’ and she is just ‘im living life BABYY’. she does the most insane things that always somehow work and Cal is literally like what the F*CK’. reader is basically a GOD. please and thank you

Additional tags: Rebel fleet, rebel base

Also in AO3

Chapters: Part 1 | Previous: Part 2 | Next: Part 4 | Masterlist

3 of ?

The jump was lucky—partially.

It’s not every day pilots see a Jedi girl climbing up the front face of a TIE Assault Shuttle.

“That kid’s crazy!” one of the pilots exclaimed.

“Should we shake her off?!” the co-pilot suggested.

It was too late for them to try out that plan, because you’ve already kicked the entry hatch open and jumped in.

“Hello there!” you beamed.

From behind, you sensed a Scout Trooper and his commander lunge at you with their batons but you easily deflected both of their weapons.

“Oh, she’s a bold one!” the scout trooper blurted.

You repaid that comment with a smug smile and quickly got rid of the troopers. The pilots couldn’t take their eyes off of the Jedi, alternating their attention between the controls and you. They knew they were next when the two scouts troopers fell dead on the floor of the ship. One of them resumed control over the ship, it was the one who proposed to swerve the ship when you were still outside—and he put his plan to work.

Both pilots hung tight on their seats while you pawed the air in search for something to hold on to. You hugged the wall for support as they continued swerving the ship.

From the rebels’ point of view, they saw the large TIE hovering and swerving in place. They could only imagine what’s happening inside that ship.

“Look at TIE, it looks like it’s out of control!” Aqua Five pointed out.

“But we didn’t hit it!” Maroon Eight replied.

“No, that’s [y/n]!” Cal cut in, shepherding your Interceptor into the skirmish and letting R-12 take on the guns while you’re away. “Try not to get roasted, R-12!”

“Beeee-woop!”

“Yeah, she’s insane,” Cal repeated, agreeing with your own droid’s comment. “Good thing she’s not hearing that!”

“[y/n] is… driving that TIE?!” the operator exclaimed, absolutely flabbergasted at the stunt you pulled. “The droid’s controlling her ship! That kid’s crazy!”

While the AT-ATs are still out of range, the rebels still have a fighting chance in protecting the base. Cal continued taking on the reins of command.

“Guns, see if two of you can take down the AT-ATs!” the ground command radioed and Cal overheard.

“No, their armor is impregnable! Their weak spots are too narrow for our guns!” Cal cuts in.

“Well, what do you suggest, Interceptor One?”

“Tow cables!” Cal cried in epiphany. “Maroon Three, follow my lead!”

“Copy that, Interceptor One!”

The ship tailed Cal. They sank on the fine line between the tree canopies and the legs of the iron giants. The young Jedi connected his communication to his companion.

“Maroon Three, you copy?”

“Loud and clear, Interceptor!”

Cal instructed the fighter to fly low enough in the same level as the AT-ATs’ knees before releasing their tow cables.

“Three passes should be enough! Don’t worry about their fire, the heads can’t look down that low!”

Meanwhile, back in the TIE shuttle, the ship continued to swerve and the nausea frustrated you. When the pilot opened fire, you evaded that single shot that cost the pilots their lives—you’re standing behind the auxiliary power grid and that blast met a different mark.

The auxiliary power was now cooked and is sputtering sparks all over. You finished off the pilots as soon as the swerving ceased when the one who opened fire realized his grave mistake. You took over the pilot’s seat and made quick work of converting its frequency to open range.

“That TIE shuttle’s trying to transmit something,” Cere spotted the soundwave register in the screen from the base.

“This is [y/n] of Interceptor Two, I have hacked the TIE shuttle’s communications. The auxiliary power has been damaged, integrity is at 60% but is going down fast!”

“Get out of there, [y/n], or you’ll go down with it!”

You heeded Cere’s warning, but you weren’t able to reply—your attention was immediately stolen by the thundering thud of the metal giant stumbling to the forest floor, followed by the loud twang of a snapped tow cable around the second AT-AT’s legs. You steered the TIE shuttle to face the last AT-AT standing, the transmitter beeped to your end.

It was Cal, “[y/n], what are you doing this time?”

“Relax, I got it covered!”

“I hope it does because from the looks of it—no, it doesn’t!”

“Just tell R-12 that I’ll be hitching a ride in a bit!”

You found the lever for the auto-pilot and cranked the gear to the highest speed, you stepped back, aligning to the entry hatch above your head as the TIE shuttle rams towards the AT-AT. The TIE was now mere inches away from the walker—that was your cue to escape through the same way you came in—and you’re already sprinting away from the TIE and onto the walker—which was more stable ground.

“There she is, R-12! On the walker’s back, hurry!”

“Beeee!”

The droid steered the Interceptor to your exact location while retracting the glass dome cover of the cockpit, he was close but the surface you’re standing on was beginning to incline and you had to stand on fours to keep yourself stable.

“Come on, R-12!” you encouraged through the grit of your teeth.

“BEEEEE!! TRILL, WOOP!”

You propped yourself in a runner’s starting stance and sprang off before the TIE shuttle imploded and proceeded to take down the walker with it. Had you waited a second later, you wouldn’t have closed the distance of that leap of faith. You thudded on the hull of your Interceptor and crawled quickly to the cockpit.

“I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU, BUDDY!!” you whooped and regained full control of the starfighter.

The droid scolded you and at the same time cheered you on as you flew to the dogfight. The gunships were able to cover the starfighters from a safe distance away from the rest of the TIE Fighters.

“YOU ARE INSANE!!” Cal scolded you, bellowing through your radio. “That was probably stupidest thing you’ve done this month!”

“It’s not stupid if it works!!” you screeched back, the adrenaline levels are through the roof in your system as you steered your way back to the skirmish.

Cal can’t stay mad at you, after all, he actually agreed with you on that.

The two of you opened fire at the enemy lines until none of them have gotten close or have dealt critical damage against the base.

“People on the ground, how are you back there?” you call.

“We’re still here, don’t worry! A TIE Fighter got a shot on us but nothing critical!” Cere responded. “We’re taking care of the ground quite well from the Stormtroopers here!”

“Perfect, we’ll keep it up and I’ll be just in time for a scolding once this is all over!”

Your excitement has made you reckless and your joker side is showing. Oddly enough, your out-of-place-and-time enthusiasm and optimism were boosting the squad’s morale, while still keeping a serious tone when strategizing real-time in the middle of the crossfire.

“I’m being tailed!” one of the gunship pilots screeched through his transmitter.

At the top spot of your windshield, you saw a trio of TIE Fighters tailing the gunship with a cartoonish graffiti of a thermal detonator.

“I see you, Bomber! I’m coming to you!”

“Hurry! They’re just missing me by a hair strand!”

“R-12, are my proton torpedoes charged?”

“Weee-woop!”

“Good,” you flicked open a glass cover on the dashboard, revealing a second analog controller. “This is where the fun begins!”

You accelerated the ship until you got close enough to the cluster of TIEs ganging up on the rebel gunship.

“Bomber see if you can maneuver to a curve so you’re out of the line of fire, I’m sending some torpedoes on those vermin’s way!”

“Roger!”

The gunship did as you were told and when the friendly got far enough, your targeting monitor reflected the three TIEs on your screen and when they aligned in the grid, you threw all the pressure of your thumb on the second analog controller—two torpedoes jetted through the sky while you used the guns to take down the third.

“Thanks, Interceptor Two!”

“Don’t sweat it! We need every single one to win this thing!”

Every fighter in the sky and everyone in the ground heard you. Suddenly, your confidence and bravery infected everyone. The tables have turned for the Imps. The starfighters were the ones ganging up on the lone or pairs of TIE Fighters and are thinning the herd in a dramatic scale.

“We’re slowly gaining the upper hand!” the second-in-command to Captain Miccah reported as he pointed at the blips on the holograph; there were more white and blue blips than red.

“That’s good,” Cere rubbed her hands together, shaking off the tension. “They just need to keep pushing.”

[abubblingcandle]

NADDPOD Last Lines

Emily mentioned a compilation of all the last lines before “And that’s where we end our session” and so I thought why not! 

Spoilers of course if you are not up to date 

Ep 1 - Oh my god there's so many knots, it's so knotty

Ep 2 - Moonshine immediately goes over and starts skinning some of the scales off so she can make a cute bandana

Ep 3 - And is that the Bullywug royalty? 

Ep 4 - And Moonshine dives in Baywatch style

Ep 5 - You guys get off into the swamp with the Green Teens

Ep 6 - And as you say that, it cracks

Ep 7 - I bend this guy over and knee him in the face

Ep 8 - BT: Guys I think the Jamboreen's cancelled. HS: Its definitely cancelled

Ep 9 - You see he's already working on something else, just reading a book and ignoring you

Ep 10 - Skulus we hardly knew ye 

Ep 11 - Skunkbug waves goodbye to you guys and you ride out of town as this giant building explodes and the bubble knights rush to it but you guys use the cover of night to escape and leave the city

Ep 12 - As Tonathon is being thrown like a baby you guys kinda comfort mutilated and depressed Beverly 

Ep 13 - I drop the three coffees I am holding

Ep 14 - That's your mum kid

Ep 15 - You can also see torchlight coming from the castle and torches all around the ruins

Ep 16 - I jump in and buckle myself in infront of his lap

Ep 17 - DM: I spared you Elias. HS: Oo you son of a bitch

Ep 18 - Like two rival gangs you guys stare each other down

Ep 19 - He gives you the crick water and you guys share a drink

Ep 20 - Hardwon takes the wheel as you guys fly off, I would say into the night but it is daytime, you fly off into the day

Ep 21 - In stark contrast to the west, where something clearly ain't right 

Ep 22 - I am Elias Stormborn, aka Hardwon Surefoot, bastard of the mountain, pride of the dwarfanage, the heart of Irondeep and I need your help

Ep 23 - But you see Cobb held in this mini tornado which then hovers over the open sky

Ep 24 - You guys stand toe to toe, sizzling water underneath you

Ep 25 - You got that right... I spore her real quick

Ep 26 - Cobb lead it on a chase but bring it back here 

Ep 27 - I back up, I'm out

Ep 28 - Welcome home baby 

Ep 29 - Beverly fires up the grill, there's a big celebration and plenty of brown to go around 

Ep 30 - Later Jarn. Keep it sleezy

Ep 31 - Apple fucking drags all of these unconscious adventurers into bed 

Ep 32 - DM: No it didn't I assumed she had it. MC: Oh right, sweet

Ep 33 - If you could just send that in the mail later? 

Ep 34 - As you make your way through the strange, cold foreign city towards keep Vinril to attempt to infiltrate the wedding welcome party and find Gemma Bronzebeard

Ep 35 - She did kiss me 

Ep 36 - You see this kid with this skull mask and this giant hooked sword comes out and takes Beverly and him and all of these skeleton kids head into the chapel

Ep 37 - Hey I'd cry if I looked like that too 

Ep 38 - And then there will be chaos and we will bring order

Ep 39 - I'm gonna need to borrow your ship

Ep 40 - Brother Hirog, our leader, inspired us. He has the fire touch and he will lead us to greatness 

Ep 41 - The band of boobs heads off again into the tundra towards the valley of the frigid death

Ep 42 - Anyone else like kinda flattered by being called sweet meat so much? 

Ep 43 - I have the featherfall ring, if I hold hands with people does that help a little bit? 

Ep 44 - Dragon you say? Come again? 

Ep 45 - Let's go kill some chosen

Ep 46 - DM: Hardwon Surefoot is shrinking. MC: I'm not gonna tell him. BT: I tug on the rope. 

Ep 47 - She takes her axe and she starts sharpening her rapier

Ep 48 - I pull down my pants and throw a javelin at him 

Ep 49 - And the mastlift starts travelling to the gnome section of Freespire

Ep 50 - But on the wind you catch the faintest hint of baby's breath and lavender 

Ep 51 - You guys begin descending the steps towards the old Court, towards Beverly Snr, Queen Cirilla and angels? 

Ep 52 - Yo, my bag brother way to fucking go! 

Ep 53 - You jacknife through and Beverly Snr follows

Ep 54 - And that's kind of my fault, I pat Galad's head

Ep 55 - You guys see smoke and hear activity in the distance like there is a settlement, or a town, or perhaps a court

Ep 56 - Really wish I brought a jacket

Ep 57 - Ah shit we tackle him

Ep 58 - And Beverly cannonballs into the plane of shadows 

Ep 59 - Where'd the bullet come from? I trace the trajectory

Ep 60 - Can I borrow this pinstripe vest?��

Ep 61 - With that you guys all begin heading towards Our Lady of Penance to talk to the revanants, the Knights of Penance

Ep 62 - You don't have long and you have a yapping bear cub possum Hardwon and your hands

Ep 63 - I'm so excited to finally have guests! 

Ep 64 - *sigh* It's good to come home

Ep 65 - He pulls you into the heavenly abyss

Ep 66 - DM: Suddenly a giant tentacle shoots up over the ship and a kraken emerges from below the boat. BT: They sold us a lemon! 

Ep 67 - You guys all take off towards Ember Heaven and Galad Rosel

Ep 68 - You see a lightning bolt come out of the sky and a few second later, thunder

Ep 69 - She brings you guys all in for a big group hug

Ep 70 - I have to look away so the tears don't ruin the pages

Ep 71 - You see sixteen teams left

Ep 72 - That's the symbol of the chosen

Ep 73 - You hear Akarot and his minions walking upstairs, waiting for you guarding the throne 

Ep 74 - You look out at the crowd, high elves and crick elves celebrating together and your father looking on at you proudly 

Ep 75 - Normally a two handed weapon, she easily wields one in each hand

Ep 76 - Moonshine, in this moment as she goes into the portal her eyes look clear

Ep 77 - On the fence, misspelled, is a sign that says Fort Rust 

Ep 78 - I'll keep my hair up just in case

Ep 79 - Who the hell was that? 

Ep 80 - You see he draws his sword, the same sword he used that day

Ep 81 - I don't think you are going to like this musk very much

[softbiker]

Born to Run - Chapter 14

Warnings: cursing, little editing, brief descriptions of violence

Word count: 2.6k

A/N: AND WE’RE BACK SURPRISE!! Seriously though, I feel horrible that I haven’t been able to update in so long - I was doing so well at first with the weekly updates and then it just kind of...stopped. Things got difficult. Sorry. But here we are, keeping things going with this fic! I’m excited! As always, feedback is appreciated! 

There’s something heavy across her waist when she wakes up.

She shimmies, trying to dislodge it, but the firm pressure only tightens when she does. Something warm snuffled at the back of her neck, the feel of soft whiskers scratching, and it’s - oh.

Bucky.

A little thrill shot down her spine - still does, even after these last few weeks. He’s only spent the night a couple of times - and the two of them remain somewhat clothed - but still. Her heartbeat picked up as he sighed again, breath coming hot along her neck.

She couldn’t shake this feeling, this nagging little notion, that she’d gone zero to 60 the moment she met him; in spite of the fact that they were taking things slow, something her trust issues and his gentleman’s upbringing insisted on, her brain felt like she was on a high-speed roller coaster, white-knuckling as she hurtled along the tracks awaiting the inevitable corkscrews and hairpin turns that would make her stomach drop.

Of course, with roller coasters, it helped if you had someone’s hand to hold.

She wiggled again in Bucky’s grip, trying to turn and face him, but he groaned in protest and tightened his spooning position. She rolled her eyes a little, patting his hand where it rested on her stomach.

“Such a baby,” she sighed, morning voice little more than a croak.

Bucky groaned again.

“‘S too early,” he grumbled, the sound muffled into the space between her hair and her pillow.

“Maybe for you,” Y/N huffed. “Some of us have jobs, you know.”

“I have a job,” he snorted.

“Oh yeah? Besides being a sexy biker?”

She heard his low growl rumbling before he quickly rolled to put his weight on top of her, his fingers wiggling into the soft flesh at her sides. She squealed and bucked under him, trying to escape, but he was too heavy to dislodge and she was way too ticklish to let him keep torturing her.

“Okay! Uncle! Uncle!” she cried, breathless. His fingers stilled, but his hands maintained their grip on her waist, the weight of his chest holding her down as he smiled, his face a few inches above hers.

“Hi,” he stage-whispered. His bed-head was in full disarray after his tickle attack, random strands fluffed out in different directions and hanging in front of his eyes. She blew a puff of breath past her lips, amused at the way he wrinkled his nose as the wayward hairs waved back in his face.

Good morning,” she smiled back, still catching her breath from the assault.

He leaned down for a kiss - a morning kiss, soft and tender, a small taste to break the night-long fast. The tip of his nose traced the length of hers.

“Still too early,” he hummed, lips working their way across her cheeks and nose and eyelids.

“Mm?” she hummed back, eyes closed.

“You know it’s Saturday, right?” he half-chuckled, nuzzling down into her neck. “Don’t have anywhere to be for a while.”

She peeked one eye open, a suspicious smile tilting up one corner of her mouth.

“I know that voice,” she bit her lip. He didn’t answer, leaving his face in its hiding place at her neck. “What are you planning, Barnes?”

“Somethin’ you’ll like,” he grinned, hands sliding down to the hem of her t-shirt.

“More like ‘something that’ll get you past second base’?” she teased. No matter how she played coy, though, her body couldn’t repress a shiver at his touch, fingers slowly climbing the skin under her shirt.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time, honey.”

His head popped up and he gave her a sly wink. Surprised laughter sputtered from her lips, soon cut off by a firm kiss, his own laugh pressed into her mouth.

They didn’t get out of bed for a while that morning.

**********

Natasha dug in her pocket for an elusive piece of bubblegum she knew she had stashed there. It was becoming frustrating - the pocket was only so big. Maybe she put it on the other side?

The diner she was waiting in - Lakeview family restaurant - was the only decent place to eat in the next town over. A cup of black coffee, half-finished, sat on the table in front of her; she’s had two refills already and knows she should stop -

There it is.

Fingers grasped the missing bubblegum and wiggled it out from her jacket pocket. She popped it in her mouth with no hesitation, crinkling the wrapper and letting it fall to the table.

Another glance at her watch. She’s never known him to be late.

She had been disappointed, but not surprised, when Y/N didn’t take the deal. In fact, she acted like their conversation never happened - diving headfirst into this fling with Barnes, the two of them apparently believing this could somehow...happen at all. A happy ending, a real life? The secrets were stacked against them, Natasha knew. Barnes knew, too, but she suspected he was thinking somewhere lower than his brain in all this. He had been from the moment the good doctor moved in across the street. And the rest of the gang seemed all too happy to welcome her into the fold, ignoring the very inconvenient facts about their real identities, their jobs, their presence in this town. It could’ve gotten her killed. Almost did.

Which was why Nat only trusted one head in the group - the one on her shoulders.

She was doing this for them. They’d understand, maybe not at first, but eventually. And even if they didn’t, she could live with their anger. Better than their blood.

It’s taken a few weeks to get things in order, but she had finally made the call. Clearly, extraction was the best case scenario for the team now. The longer they lingered on this job, got comfortable with Hydra’s silence after Rumlow’s death? She didn’t want to play those odds.

A bell dinged above the diner door. She didn’t turn, refolding the gum wrapper in her hand as the booted footsteps approached slowly, quiet on the tile floor. She didn’t even look up when he wrapped his knuckles once against the table, before sliding into the booth across from her.

“Romanoff.”

“Fury.”

“Been a while,” Nick Fury raised his good brow as he leaned forward to prop his elbows on the table.

“Well, you know how it is, Nick. Busy with work,” she smirked drily.

The waitress returned, pen at the ready, and Fury requested a coffee and whatever fresh pie they had that day. Whipped cream on the side, please.

“You know, my doctor tried to convince me to try going keto,” he said conversationally as they waited. “Something about keeping my blood sugar steady.” He shrugged. “Decided I didn’t hate myself enough to do that.”

Nat rolled her eyes a little, unable to hide her small smile. She had missed Nick. But this, the chit-chat, the minutiae, was never what they were good at. People like them were rarely good at small talk.

“So.” He turned the skewered bite of apple on his fork, gliding it through the whipped cream before taking a slow bite. “I understand you have a proposition for me.”

“I do.”

He pursed his lips, nodded, never lifting his eyes from his plate.

“Then let’s hear it.”

**********

They were slipping.

Rogers. Barnes. The Avengers.

From what they can tell, the self-righteous pricks are too far up their own asses to see what’s been going on. No one saw his men tailing them on every run. No one noticed their movement in the shadows of the town, the palms they greased, the eyes that looked the other way. Nobody was looking when their numbers doubled in size, weapons making their way through with the new men. It all hummed under the surface, dry winter air nearly crackling with the static.

Any day now, any moment - all it would take was some friction, a spark, to light the whole thing up. Burn the fucking Avengers to the ground.

Which is why he was very careful to avoid such friction. No contact - that was the rule. Keep your head down, mouth shut, do what you’re told, and don’t start shit. All the men knew, and they were scared shitless of the boss, so they obeyed. But they were restless, he knew. Itching, jumpy, knuckles cracking. They wanted a fight, and he wouldn’t hold them back much longer.

No, not much longer now.

He knew an old friend of the boss would be passing through today - on to the next town over. Better head that way if he was gonna get to the rendezvous point on time.

**********

“I put together this team, you know.”

“They were already a unit when they were deployed in Afghanistan-”

“Yeah, yeah but I hand picked them all for this assignment,” Fury waved her off. “And now you’re telling me I made the wrong call?”

Nat sighed through her nose.

“I’m not saying they’re wrong for the job, but they’ve been out here for a long time and…” she glanced out the window at they highway just beyond the gravel parking lot. “To be frank, Barnes is compromised and the rest are content to let it happen. They need to be pulled out of the field to regroup. Period.”

“Mm.” Nick sipped his coffee. “And this has nothing to do with your...history with Barnes?”

“Don’t patronize me, Nick. I’m a damn professional, not a child. You know that better than anyone.”

“Yeah, yeah I do.”

They stared at each other across the table for a moment - Nat with her arms crossed, a deep line between her brows. Nick seemed content with a hand wrapped around his coffee cup, empty plate scraped clean of crumbs and whipped cream pushed away from him on the table.

“I trust your judgment, Romanoff,” Nick finally sighed, draining his coffee. “So what’s the move here?”

“Simple. Call it in, move on the evidence we have to clear Hydra off the streets, and send the team home for debrief,” she shrugged. “We’ve got more than enough to keep these guys put away for a little while - long enough that we can come up with a long-term plan and pump them for more intel on Hydra’s shadier business deals. Gotta be a weak link in there somewhere.”

“You gonna get ‘em to talk?”

“Somebody always talks.”

“Okay,” Nick nodded. “It’s far from the worst idea you’ve ever had. But I’m gonna have to make some pretty important phone calls. Probably have to go all the way to Pierce on this one.”

“Trust me, it’ll be worth it.” Nat tilted her head to one side. “You can salvage this whole operation before it goes south - now tell me that’s not worth a little bit of groveling to your boss.”

“Easy for you to say, you’re not the one having to do it.”

“I don’t beg, Nick,” she smirked. “You know that.”

He huffed, shaking his head.

“Oh, I know.” He rolled his good eye as he started to shuffle out of the booth. Natasha stood up too, readjusting the jacket around her shoulders. The sun was just starting to slip beneath the horizon, casting long shadows across the parking lot outside the window. Her bike sat next to his sleek black SUV, the only visible vehicles parked on this side of the building.

Fury gave her a long look as he patted down his pockets, leaving a sizable tip for the waitress tucked under his coffee cup. Nat refused to meet his gaze, standing with her arms crossed, green eyes scanning the room. The other patrons at the cafe paid them no attention, as they slowly walked to the door side-by-side, Nat’s boots clicking softly on the tile floor.

“You don’t need to worry about this, Romanoff,” Nick sighed, pushing through the door first. The little bell above the door announced their departure. “I’ll take care of everything.”

“I’m not worried.”

He stopped at the door of his car, good eye sliding sideways for a glance at her. She was already straddling her bike.

“You’ll be hearing from me soon,” he waved, almost drowned out by the roar of her bike starting. He laughed under his breath, humorless, nostalgic, as she revved the engine a moment before throwing up gravel under the tires as she peeled away from the diner. He tried not to be irritated about the paint job on his car - already streaked with mud from these unfamiliar roads.

The highway was nearly deserted, nearly dark, as he started the long drive back to the city. Romanoff might not be worried - though he suspected otherwise - but Nick certainly was. It wasn’t like her to pull a stunt like this, and it wasn’t like his hand-picked team of Avengers to get sloppy on the job. And then there was the sudden silence from Hydra in the last weeks since their ringleader’s death; his team, and his higher ups at the agency, had always known there was someone else, a hidden hand pulling strings, but could never quite get the bastard to show their face. And now, when they all could feel something building like a wave, about to crest, Nat wants to pull the team out.

He shook his head. Too much to think about and a long drive ahead. His hand reached for the radio dial, searching past country stations and bluegrass stations and the lonely pop station - he settled on gospel, surprising himself. But it made him think of his mother, so he left it there. Flicked on the headlights, and then the high beams, showing him nothing in the darkening night besides the road stretching ahead and the now-empty fields, nearly flooded from last week’s rain.

After a while - could’ve been an hour, could’ve been 20 minutes - he heard them in the distance, that distinct roar of engines. His ears pricked; they were coming from behind him, the direction of town. Maybe Natasha changed her mind? Maybe the rest of the team was offended he didn’t drop by and they were going to haul him back to the compound for a barbecue.

Maybe he’s become one of those goddamn idiots who’s dumb enough to believe in luck.

When their headlights came around a curve a quarter mile behind him, he was nearly blinded by the sheer number. The noise was nearly deafening, and he flattened his foot against the accelerator, mentally calculating the miles between towns. Too far in either direction.

That was when he saw the group coming towards him, too.

With a steady stream of curses under his breath, he dialed Natasha’s phone number. The phone rang, twice, three times - he glanced over and saw that two of the bikes had pulled alongside him, riders covered head to toe in black leather, white skulls painted on their helmets.

“Motherfuckers,” he hissed. A jerk of his steering wheel, just a threat, and they braked a little, backing off. But there were three more directly behind him, not to mention the ones further back and up ahead.

“Come on, Romanoff-”

“Nick?”

“Natasha - we made a mistake, they’re moving now-”

“Nick, what are you talking about? What’s going on?”

The two bikers had pulled alongside him again, speeding up and slowing down to stay just out of his reach. One of them reached over to his hip, raising an arm right at the car-

The pop of the gun and his front tire were almost simultaneous; the car went squealing and swerving across the road, black marks burned into the pavement, before a wild swing of the wheel sent it flipping into the deep ditch next to the highway, where it landed upside down and creaking.

“Nick what the hell just happened?”

“Nick are you there?”

“Nick?”

[tigerkirby215]

5e Jinx the Loose Cannon build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Riot Games)

Wanna join me? Come and play! But I might shoot you in your face! Bombs and bullets will do the trick; what we need here is a little bit of panic!

Would be unfair of me not to do a Jinx build after a Vi build, and would be unfair of me not to do a Jinx build in general. One of the most popular characters in League of Legends almost entirely because of her music video, Jinx is 7 brands of crazy and the perfect character when you want to get excited and blow stuff up!

GOALS

Come on; shoot faster! - We’ll need just a little bit of energy with quick movement and boosts of excitement when we get kills.

Let’s try something fun right now - We’ll need some tricks up our sleeves to keep alive and keep the enemies dead. Some people would call it anarchy.

Let’s blow this city to ashes - And see what Pow-Pow thinks when we shoot stuff before blowing it up!

RACE

Technically Jinx is a human, but no one really knows for sure and with skin that pale I’d probably say you’re some sort of Half Elf. In particular while it doesn’t make too much sense a Wood Half-Elf can run faster with Fleet of Foot for an extra 5 feet of movement speed. You also increase your Charisma by 2 and two other abilities by 1: choose Dexterity and Wisdom.

As a Half-Elf you get Darkvision up to 60 feet, and your Fey Ancestry gives you advantage on saving throws against being charmed, and magic can’t put you to sleep, cause you can’t make crazy go to sleep! Oh and you get a language; bleh boooring! Just pick whatever.

ABILITY SCORES

15; DEXTERITY - Jinx’s a walking Looney Tunes character, squashing and stretching and bouncing around like a maniac. Because you are a maniac.

14; CHARISMA - You won the hearts of pretty much every League of Legends player with your unique brand of crazy.

13; WISDOM - More in flavor to dump this, but we need Wisdom for our class features.

12; CONSTITUTION - You’re an ADC but I’m not about to dump CON.

10; STRENGTH - Jinx can take a lot of hits and come out fine, and lifting up Fishbones takes a lot of strength.

8; INTELLIGENCE - You’re completely bonkers. Technically a genius (and if your DM’s cool enough to let you swap your Intelligence and Wisdom that would make more sense for RP) but something’s gotta show that you’re insane.

BACKGROUND

Hey let’s get even crazier: you know Guildmaster’s Guide to Ravnica? How about we grab a background from there?! The Rakdos Cultist background is perfect for a crazy anarchy clown! You get proficiency in Acrobatics and Performance to dance in the mayhem, a musical instrument of your choice (Drums go boom, so pick those!), and a language choice between Abyssal or Giant; go for Abyssal cause why wouldn’t you speak like a demon?

As a Rakdos Cultist you have a Fearsome Reputation: people are too scared of you to stop you from making minor criminal offenses like refusing to pay for food or breaking down a door at a local shop. Well, as long as fat hands doesn’t see you.

NOTE: Rakdos Cultists do get additional spells from their background, but it’s a very Ravnica-specific thing and I know a lot of DMs would be against it. If they allow you to take the spells go ahead but I’ve elected to ignore them in this build.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - MONK 1

Starting off as a Monk because I’m crazy! But it’s mostly for their skill and saving throw proficiencies. You get proficiency in two skills from the Monk list as well as an Artisan’s Tool: choose Athletics, Insight (because why not? But we might swap it later depending on your DM), and Tinkerer’s Tools to work on Mr. Sparkles.

As a Monk you get Unarmored Defense equal to 10 + your Dexterity and your Wisdom score, because one thing you certainly aren’t wearing is armor. You also get Martial Arts which lets you do some crazy stunts:

You can use Dexterity instead of Strength for the attack and damage rolls of your unarmed strikes and Monk weapons, which is good cause you don’t have much Strength.

You can roll a d4 for your unarmed strike or Monk weapon, which increases as you level up.

When you Attack with an unarmed strike or Monk weapon you can make one unarmed strike as a bonus action.

No guns yet, but that’ll be fixed by...

LEVEL 2 - WARLOCK 1

Jinx is known as the Demon of Piltover, so a Fiendish pact would be perfect for some mayhem! As a Fiend Warlock you can Get Excited with Dark One’s Blessing, letting you gain Temporary Hitpoints equal to your Charisma modifier plus your Warlock level whenever you slay an enemy.

You also get Pact Magic: you can take two Warlock cantrips and of course we’ll be grabbing a shock pistol with Eldritch Blast. You can also trick the sheriff with Minor Illusion. Make some fake booms spray some walls; distract them while the real fun begins!

For your spells of choice Hex will let you shoot the enemy just a little harder, and Arms of Hadar will serve as some Flame Chompers to help you get away from the cops.

Also if your DM’s okay with the Class Feature Variants UA I’d suggest swapping out your Insight proficiency with Intimidation for some proper anarchy!

LEVEL 3 - MONK 2

Now that we’ve got something to defend ourselves how about we grab a machine gun? But firstly Monks get Ki points to help get excited! You can spend Ki points on Flurry of Blows to punch twice instead of once with your Bonus Action (which your probably won’t do much but oh well!), Patient Defense to dodge a big metal fist flying at you with your Bonus Action, or Step of the Wind to Dash or Disengage with your Bonus Action and also jump twice as far! Step of the Wind is by far the most in-character choice to take. After all they’ll have to try a little harder to catch you!

Speaking of being hard to catch you also get 10 feet of Unarmored Movement. On top of Wood Elf movement you can run 45 feet in a turn!

LEVEL 4 - MONK 3

Pow-Pow, I missed ya! Way of the Sun Soul Monks are perfect for blowing up the sun. You get a proper ranged attack with Radiant Sun Bolt: instead of punching you can shoot some sun bullets, which will do your Martial Arts die in Radiant damage. They have a range of 30 feet, and you can shoot one out as a Bonus Action or spend a Ki point to shoot twice with your Bonus Action.

Third level Monks can also Deflect Missiles. If you’re shot by a weapon you can use your reaction to brace yourself for a d10 plus your Dexterity modifier and your Monk level. If you reduce the damage to 0 you can “grab” the shot and shoot them back with a Zap, spending a Ki point to throw the shot back as a Monk weapon with a normal range of 20 feet and a long range of 60.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 5 - WARLOCK 2

Second level Warlocks can Zap their foes with Eldritch Invocations: Lance of Lethargy will properly slow down enemies hit by a zap, but I’d hold onto your other invocation for now. Likewise hold out on picking a spell as well for now.

LEVEL 6 - WARLOCK 3

The cool thing about being a champion as popular as Jinx is that just about anything is canonical. Want more tools as a PROJECT? Take Pact of the Tome. Star Guardian? Pact of the Chain! But the most in-character choice would be Pact of the Blade for more guns! You can summon swords and hammers, and with the Improved Pact Weapon Invocation they can be guns! (Well a shortbow, longbow, light crossbow, or heavy crossbow at least.)

If you’re going for Pact of the Tome take Book of Ancient Secrets instead. If you’re going for Pact of the Chain take Voice of the Chain Master instead. Honestly there’s practically no reason for you to take Pact of the Blade, but it is the most in-flavor.

You can also take second level spells now: Shatter will let you make a boom on your enemies or a wall, and Scorching Ray from the Fiend list will let you shoot out some red-buffed bullets! Kerchow, boom, kablamo!

LEVEL 7 - WARLOCK 4

4th level Warlocks get an Ability Score Improvement: seeing as Eldritch Blast seems to be our main source of damage at the moment increase your Charisma for more accurate Zaps.

You also get another cantrip like Prestidigitation for some fireworks, and another spell like Hold Person to keep them in place with some chompies!

LEVEL 8 - WARLOCK 5

5th level Warlocks get access to SUPER MEGA DEATH ROCKETS! Or rather third level spells like Fireball! And I mean, I don’t need to explain this: it’s Fireball! It’s a big explosion! Blow stuff up!

You also get another Invocation at this level and honestly there isn’t much that’s in-flavor. Pick whatever you think is good (Agonizing Blast is always a good pick) and roll with it. Can’t tell you everything: gotta make up your own plan sometimes!

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 9 - MONK 4

These builds always get weird, where we get our ult before our abilities. Regardless fourth level Monks get an Ability Score Increase for more Dexterity now since we’re working on Pow-Pow.

You also get Slow Fall to pull out some balloons as a reaction to reduce fall damage up to 5 times your Monk level.

LEVEL 10 - MONK 5

5th level Monks get Rev’d Up with an Extra Attack, equaling three in a punch punch bonus punch combo or four if you use Flurry of Blows. And speaking of Extra Attacks your Martial Arts Die increase to a d6 for even deadlier bullets!

You can also hold an enemy in place with some chompers with Stunning Strike: when you hit an enemy with a MELEE attack (so not your sun balls!) you can force them to make a Constitution save against your Monk DC (which is currently really low) or be stunned until the end of your next turn. Distract them and run back to shoot them up!

LEVEL 11 - MONK 6

6th level Sun Soul Monks get Searing Arc Strike, letting them cast Burning Hands using 2 Ki points and upcast it by spending additional Ki points. Considering that your Monk DC is awful I’d highly suggest against using this ability.

But hey at least your fists are magical now thanks to Ki-Empowered Strikes; not like you were shooting them with 6 different types of magic already... Oh and your Unarmored Movement increases by 5 feet, to a max of 50 now!

LEVEL 12 - MONK 7

7th level Monks get Evasion: when they have to make a DEX save they take no damage on a successful save or half as much on a fail. Jinx rides giant rockets until they explode and gets out without a scratch; you think that’s natural?

You also get Stillness of Mind, or the way I see it: a mind too crazy to keep still! You can use your action to let the crazy take over any effect of Charming or Frightening, so you can go back to shooting!

LEVEL 13 - WARLOCK 6

May as well hop back to Warlock so we can finally grab Dark One’s Own Luck. Once per Short Rest you can add a d10 to an Ability Check or Saving Throw you make; you can do so after you see the initial roll but before you know the outcome. Jinx knows her way around mayhem; what most think is luck is just a bit of natural skill, ‘tis all!

For your final batch of chompers grab Hypnotic Pattern for a whole line of the things to distract your foes! Who’s a good hunka junk?

(Artwork by Riot Games)

LEVEL 14 - MONK 8

8th level Monks get another Ability Score Improvement and since we’re focusing on Pow-Pow now you should max out your Dexterity for deadlier bullets and more AC to, ya know, not die?

LEVEL 15 - MONK 9

At 9th level Monks gain the ability to move along vertical surfaces and across liquids without falling thanks to Unarmored Movement Improvement. Physics? That’s boring!

LEVEL 16 - MONK 10

At 10th level Monks get Purity of Body, making them immune to poison and disease. I’d chock it up to the fumes from Zaun. They also run 5 feet faster with Unarmored Movement, adding up to 20 extra feet for 55 feet total!

LEVEL 17 - MONK 11

11th level Sun Soul Monks can finally start using Fishbones! Searing Sunburst lets you shoot a rocket at a point within 150 feet; everyone in a 20-foot-radius sphere must succeed on a Constitution saving throw or take 2d6 radiant damage, but they don’t need to make the save if they’re behind full cover that isn’t see through.

You can also increase Fishbones’ damage by spending Ki points, gaining 2d6 damage per point to a maximum of 3 Ki points spent. (So 6d6 extra damage, or 8d6 total!) So yeah if you wanted you could totally shoot a Fireball’s worth of damage out over and over again, but you’d probably be better sticking to the actual Fireball spell for that.

Oh and your Martial Arts damage increases to a d8, meaning that Pow-Pow is doing the damage of a Light Crossbow now. It’s a Light Crossbow that shoots light! Ha!

LEVEL 18 - MONK 12

12th level Monks get another Ability Score Improvement: if you want more big booms increase your Charisma for a tougher Warlock DC. But if you want more little booms Wisdom will make your Searing Sunburst harder to avoid and give you more AC. I personally opted for Wisdom.

LEVEL 19

There are two directions you can choose for your last two levels in this build. The first option is to take the last two levels in Monk for Tongue of the Sun and Moon (which is meh) and Diamond Soul (which is amazing), or you can opt for 2 more levels in Warlock for more Invocations, higher level spell slots, and another Ability Score Improvement. I personally opted for Warlock in this build but feel free to adapt it how you want. Or don’t cause I know most groups don’t get to level 20 anyways.

WARLOCK 7

7th level Warlocks get more Invocations like I just said, and you’re more than welcome to cause some anarchy with Dreadful Word for the Confusion spell. Is it a bit too late to be getting 4th level spells that you can only use once a day? Yeah probably!

Oh and feel free to replace that one mystery invocation from 5th level with Bewitching Whispers. It’s technically more in-flavor!

You also get access to 4th level spells, and the Fiend list has Wall of Fire for a big row of huge flaming chompers!

LEVEL 20 - WARLOCK 8

And our capstone is the 8th level of Warlock for our final Ability Score Improvement. Much like I said 2 levels ago: Charisma for big booms, Wisdom for little booms.

And for your final spell; how about a little shock-and-awe? Sickening Radiance is like a 30-foot boom, but anyone who walks in the blast crater or starts their turn there must succeed on a Constitution saving throw or take 4d10 radiant damage. They also suffer one level of exhaustion, and emit green light in a 5-foot radius so they can’t go invisible. The light and any levels of exhaustion caused by this spell go away when the spell ends. It’s a real slow cooker; kinda boring, but reeeeal deadly!

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Do you ever wanna catch me? - With 55 feet of movement, somewhere around 18 AC (between 17 and 19 depending on how you build), Evasion, temp HP whenever you kill an enemy, a 30 foot range with your Radiant Sun Bolts, and some really long-ranged hits with Eldritch Blast and Searing Sunburst you can make sure you never feel ignored.

I'm really getting bored! - Almost all your abilities come back on a short rest, the only exception being a one-time use of the Confusion spell. That means you can use all your abilities and take a quick break before getting back into the fight!

Smile! It’s called gun play! - There’s also the fact that you do, just, a lot of damage. 3d8 + 15 Radiant damage with Radiant Sun Bolt (4d8 + 20 if you do Flurry of Blows), 4d10 Force damage with Eldritch Blast (plus an additional 16 if you took Agonizing Blast), and some massive bursts of AoE damage with Shatter, Arms of Hadar, Wall of Fire, and of course good ol’ Fireball.

CONS

No need to be scared... or alive - You’ve got an ADC’s lifebar, which is to say... not big. At best you’ll go a little over 100, which is still more than enough for you to be whacked a few times before being executed by Power Word Kill. 

All part of the plan I just made up - You’ve got three really good stats... and three really bad ones. Your DEX, WIS, and CHA are high but your Strength, Constitution, and notably Intelligence leave a lot to be desired. Your Strength is negated somewhat by proficiency in Strength saves and Athletics but plenty of things can hit you hard in the Constitution or Intelligence.

I'm MAD! Got a doctor's note - The same eternal problem remains when you mix classes like this: you have 3 primary stats so you’re going to have to dump something unless you rolled lucky during character creation. Your best bet is to get an 18 in both WIS and CHA, or a 20 in one of those stats and a 16 in the other. And regardless of what you do you’re going to want to grab an Amulet of Health to fix that awful Constitution score.

But who cares if you’re crazy; as long as it works! You’re packing a small armory with you and know how to use all of it at once. Kick down some doors, shoot the place up, all while singing a kick-ass theme song! Just don’t get too crazy, or the party Paladins might have a vendetta against you.

(Artwork by Riot Games)

[quailthekenku]

Back-and-forth Dialogue With A Friend: Callie Visits the Conquerors

(Callie belongs to Toblerone, who is an awesome artist and also one of my best friends so please check her out thank you UwU)

(Also none of this is canon sry)

- me

~ Toble

-- Setting the scenery/explaining the scenario to Toble --

“-It's kind of like a medieval kingdom with high-technology. The floor is made of marble tiles. The planet is only half of a destroyed planet conquered by the organization long ago.

- There're illumise propaganda banners and quotes plastered around every corner or being projected onto screens that hang over the city.

- And there're controlled soldiers marching patrols amidst the conversating people of mixed factions as they run amuck through the city. Some poor scmuck in a mask is being apprehended by some soldiers for graffitiing a building around the corner. People stick to their own factions mainly, especially when it comes to anyone in the Interceptor faction (Characterized by grey/black eyes instead of blue or red)

-  "Some other places that you could visit are the Reclaimer Sector" Quail said, her astral finger pointing to the left through a cyan arch,

-  "The Interceptor Sector," She continued, pointing to a grey brick gateway in front of them,

-  "And the main Pavillion, which no one really uses because they don't get a long too well is over there too." She threw a thumb over her shoulder at the pristine white and black archway marked with the Illumise insignia on it. "The boss of this place lives up there," Quail turned around and pointed at a cylindrical tower extending up from the Pavillion, which was topped by a sphere of one-way glass, "But no one goes there. It's crawling with elite guards, and no one visits him unless he wants them to."

-  "Good luck," she grinned mischievously, and promptly vanished.

----------------Roleplay line--------------------------------------------------------------------------

~ Calli stared out onto the street. It was very different then the smooth walls and streets of the cities she had lived in.

- Around the corner sat three figures, conversing in low, excited voices, all wearing crimson cloaks. One had theirs pulled over their head, who seemed to be talking the most.

~  Her eyes landed on them, and she stared for what could be a little too long, wondering.

-  The three figures continued talking until one of them, with fiery pink hair buzzed on one side, noticed her looking. Callie noticed the metal plate and eye grotesquely grafted onto the left side of her face. The hooded figure rolled up a piece of paper that the three of them had been looking at.

~  Calli only raised an eyebrow, she was almost 60 percent metal herself anyway. 

~ She then realized her ears and tail were in plain view, and she stepped back to hide them.

-  The hooded figure turned towards her, a suspicious frown barely visible on his face. "You don't seem like you're from around here," He said suspiciously.

~  "You would be correct." Calli answered.

-  He walked toward her, pocketing the paper inside his cape, and held his hand out expectantly. "ID?" He asked.

~  "I've done nothing wrong," She said. "But I suppose I'll humor you." Calli raised a metal gloved hand and a hologram shot into the air, showing her name and other info common for an ID. It was a fake ID, of course. Calli had no intention of being truthful to a rude stranger.

-  The other two cloaked figures looked at her hologram ID in a mixture of shock, confusion, then a sort of sinister smirk. In front of them, the hooded figure smirked, then pulled something from his pocket. The second cloaked figure was now moving behind the hooded figure, and walking silently behind Callie. "I meant one of these, sweetheart," He said sweetly, holding out a square of metal and glass in one biker-gloved hand. It sparked, then bright red letters scrolled across the glass panel's surface. "But close enough." The second figure grabbed her from behind.

~  Calli smirked. 

~  She twisted and threw her attacker on the ground, so hard that a snapping sound could be heard. She then half morphed her arms, until they were sharp, battle ready weapons. "Bad idea." She hissed angrily. Her ears and tails became visible again, and her tail lashed angrily around her legs. Calli’s ears were pinned flat against her head.

-  The second cloaked figure groaned on the ground. The hooded figure smirked, then snickered, which turned into a full scale laugh. He abruptly cut off, and pulled a small pen-like rod from another pocket in his cape. He flicked his hand out, and it extended into a shortstaff. The end crackled with red electricity. He lifted his hood, Surge stared at the freak with his mismatched eyes, one cornflower blue and the other black and red, through the metal plate covering half his head. Twelve sets of coordinated footsteps were approaching from the right. "You've poked the wasp's nest, freak," He said sinisterly, red electricity sparking from his staff. "Be ready to get stung." He lunged at her.

~   She smiled. Within seconds, her helmet engulfed her head, hiding her face under a black metal helmet and a turquoise visor. Her whole body was now in the black metal suit, and she moved deftly, jumping forward to meet him. She hit him backwards and he stumbled back a few steps. Calli then pulled a black sword from seemingly nowhere and it blazed to electric blue life. "I see you want to play with lightning." A electronic voice echoed, mockingly.

-  This weirdo might be a handful, Surge thought as he fell back onto his knees, then shook himself. Reinforcements should be here any minute now. Besides, I didn't become the general for nothing. He gritted his teeth and stood up. "More like a short-circuited toaster." he taunted as he strolled past her. She swung at him, and Surge immediately dodged under, sweeping her legs out from under her. "Believe me, you'll be taken care of in no time," He finished as he prepared to swing at her again. 

~   She threw a small box at the wall, a similar box in her hand. In a flash of blue, she teleported out from under him, and she stuck to the wall. "Ah, sweetheart doesn't understand what he's dealing with." she turned her sword from blue (stun), to red (kill). "I'm sorry to take you down so soon." She leapt off the wall and swung her sword, and she saw it get so close that his cloak began to burn.

-  After barely dodging the blade that swung above him, Surge leaped into the air and shouted, "You're one to talk!" Didn't wanna have to try using this, he thought hesitantly, a blue glow beginning to emit from his hands. The two soldiers on the ground, after seeing the glow, immediately scrambled to their feet and ran away. He focused his concentration into one plea, repeating over and over: A beam of light. A beam of fire. A beam of lightning. A beam of... FOR THELOVE OF G0D JUST MAKE IT SOMETHING EFFECTIVE FOR ONCE. The energy gathered in his hands, and he unleashed the unpredictable energy towards the cyborg. It frazzled in midair, then grew bigger and more triangular until a full-sized grand piano was hurtling towards Callie. That works, Surge thought as he landed stomach down on the ground.

~   Calli started for a second and took a step back as the piano slammed powerfully into her energy shield. It knocked her back a bit. "Fine, if I stop fighting will you just imprison me?"

-  Surge got up steadily, trying hard to mask the relief on his face while he answered, "Gladly." Two hands grabbed Callie from behind, handcuffing her as they escorted her towards the middle pavillion. They put a blindfold over her eyes, and sounds around her indicated she was in an elevator going downwards. The blindfold lifted from her vision, showing her a mess of an underground laboratory. The walls were covered halfway with tally marks. Stasis chambers, all but one of them empty, lined the rim of the semicircular room. A few corpses littered the room, their bodies covered in marks from a scalpel. A steel door covered in claw marks stood on the back wall. A girl with wolf ears silently rocked in the left corner, and a teenage boy with bright seafoam hair was chopping a severed finger into tiny bits with a bloodied scalpel in the right. He looked up as Callie was shoved into the room. "You'll stay here until we find a way to use you," the voice of one of the soldiers said ominously from the elevator. "Try to survive until then.” The doors closed behind him.

~  Calli went freely, as she knew she could kill everyone in the elevator without thinking about it. However hard her opponent had tried, she could tell he was relieved. She didn't like to kill when she didn't have to. She stepped into the room, and tore the blindfold off. Calli surveyed the few people and stood silently.

-  The teal-haired teen looked up from the gore he was cutting and smiled, waving one chained hand. 3, said a number on his white bloodstained longsleeved shirt."Heya, Catgirl! They leave you for dead too?"

~  Calli let her suit recede into nothingness, and she stepped forward. Looking totally human now.

~ "Yes." was all she said. 

-  "Great! Nice suit ya had there. Or was I just seeing things again?" He tilted his head, looking from his scalpel back to her. He stood up, and the chains around his hands flashed green for a moment. "Name's Vian. Welcome to the Failure club!!! That is, unless you can somehow magically get us out of this place."

~  "You saw a suit. And I can. Get you out, I mean." Calli turned to look at him. "My name is Calli, in case you were wondering."

-  "Nice to meet you, Cassee! I'm Vian." He reached his hand out to shake hands with her, but the chain on his hand pulled it back, flashing a cautionary yellow. "That over there's Scion," He introduced, pointing to the figure in the stasis chamber wearing a respirator. "And that's Threshen," He groaned, pointing forlornly at the rocking figure in the other corner. "I think she's a little bit off her rocker, if you know what I mean," He stage-whispered.

~  "I see." She said politely. "Well, do you want out of here? I can get us out in a snap-"

-  The girl suddenly let out a blood-curdling scream that filled the room, and Vian plugged his ears. "SEE WHAT I MEAN?!" He shouted over her as she continued to scream.

-   Threshen stopped screaming and continued rocking in place. "THAT WOULD BE LOVELY, CARLIE," He continued, seemingly unaware that she had stopped screaming, "IF THE GUARDS WEREN'T PATROLLING OUTSIDE." His chains flashed yellow again. "I COULD PROBABLY HELP BETTER," He continued, "IF I DIDN'T HAVE THESE CHAINS ON ME." He gestured to the black metal chains around his wrists.

~   "I can do something about those too," She said. "And she's stopped screaming, you can talk normally again." Her ears moved forward.

-  "Oh," He said. "Right." The elevator made a whirring noise, as if someone was beginning their descent down.

~  Calli turned quickly and ran at the elevator doors. She ripped them open with super human strength, and then she reached in and tore the elevator cable. The sound of something heavy falling whizzed past and a muffled scream reached their ears too.

-  The elevator fell to the bottom of the shaft, a woman in a white, blue and red robe sprawled on the ground.

~  Calli looked down at her in disgust.

-  Vian gasped. "Is she dead?" He said excitedly.

~  "I don't think so." Calli said. "Who is she?"

- "Oh, one of those converter people," He said, waving his hand. "Probably come to make you into another soldier."

- "Another pawn."

~  Calli stepped over to the woman, and kicked her in the jaw, knocking her unconscious.

-  "Another slave," He pressed, slowly leaning forward on his chains.

~  "Now, do you want to get out or not?"

-  Vian's eyes lit up. "R-r-really?" He hesitated, looking down at the scalpel still in his hands, then back up at Callie with a fearful expression. "I... Don't think that's a good idea..."

~  "Why so?" She asked. "Anything would be better then living down here in fear." Calli's eyes darkened. "Even death."

-  He stood fearfully. "I've done things," he admitted, gesturing at the bodies of scientists strewn all over the floor, "Bad things. I... don't trust myself." He was straining against the chains now, and they were flashing orange on and off now.

~  "But why throw away your chance to change?" She asked. "I've done horrible, even evil things myself. But I've changed myself. I'm much better now."

-  Vian stopped, contemplated this, and smiled. "You're right. Let's get out of this place."

~  Calli grinned. ~ "I knew you'd come around." She said, then stepped toward him. "Do you mind if I..?" She pointed at his hands.

-  He stepped away from his chains , holding them tight and away from him so she could cut them. The chains flashed red, and a burst of blue light sparked on the cuffs on Vian's wrists with an electric ZAP. He yelped and collapsed to the ground in pain, then rose slowly and gestured for Callie to cut them. 

~  Calli first wrapped metal gloves hands around them, and the dull black glow slowly dimmed, and then, she plucked them off effortlessly and dropped them to the floor.

-  Vian stared at the rings of Litchenberg scars that marred his wrists. "T...Thank you," he said in bewilderment. Threshen stood behind them, stumbling slowly towards the door, glaring at Vian as she passed with her glassy eye. The other was scratched out. Calli noticed that Threshen's right arm was missing as Threshen sat in the elevator shaft's base.

~  She shook her head. "it's just what I do." She gestured, "Follow me, and then, she walked to the other side of the room, away from the elevator."

- Vian smiled and nodded, walking toward the door with her. When Threshen didn't follow, he sighed, took her hand and dragged her toward the door, despite her screaming, clawing and thrashing.

~  When Calli stopped at a wall with no door and far away at the elevator, Vian seemed confused. "Come closer. I'm blowing the stilts off this building and if you're anywhere out of my shield you'll be killed." Calli began to place at least six or seven glowing charges in a circle around her, all electric blue.

-  He stood in shock for a second, then nodded solemnly, dragging Threshen closer in as the three of them braced for impact. "Welp," Vian murmured low under his breath, "Guess the Clone's gone." 

~  "Do you want me to get Scion?" She asked, "I haven't set the charges yet."

-  "He's got weird regenerative powers," He explained. "Being a clone of the boss, and all that. He'll be fine."

~  "Alright," She said. A blue shield went up around them, and the charges began to beep. "Get ready, it's gonna be loud."

-  "Roger that," He said, covering his ears, and gesturing for Threshen to do the same.

~  A loud cracking sound came first, and outside the shield a blue smoke seemed to attack the energy field. Then the blackness came, filled with blue lightning. The building began to collapse, falling in on itself and pieces of the walls and ceiling began to hit the shield like hail. 

-----------------Roleplay Line------------------------------------------------------------------------

We had to stop at this point because of the fact of it being near midnight but...

Some ideas of what I believe would’ve happened:

1. Vian played Callie and goes crazy stabbing everyone once he gets to the surface, including Callie, and they have a “OMG YOU BETRAYED ME D:” Talk. 

2. Callie would’ve met with the boss of Illumise, severely injured/killed them, and left. :>

So ya that was fun!!! UwU

[murasaki-murasame]

I wasn’t exactly planning on doing any real summoning on the dragon banner or the gala remix since I still want to be able to spark on the next Halloween banner at the end of the month [if we get one], but I’m an extremely dumb idiot with no impulse control so that didn’t exactly go as planned, lol.

I’m pretty sure I already talked about my Gala Zena banner summon session before, but I can’t remember if I said how the Ilia banner went after that, so just to put it simply I only did my free summons on it and I got absolutely nothing of note, lol. I don’t think I even got any platinum prizes. The most noteworthy thing I got was a dupe Laranoa, I think.

Then we got to the dragon banner, which is where my hoarding plans started to really go south, lol. Dragon banners are usually easy skips for me, but GC was on rate-up and I wanted them so much I was genuinely contemplating dream summoning them [but I still don’t want to use any dream summons on dragons], so I decided to see how my free summons went, but I pretty quickly became resigned to the possibility that I’d end up chasing GC.

Which is pretty much exactly what happened, since my free summons didn’t get me GC, but I did get three whole Ariel dupes, which was mostly just three separate emotional rollercoasters of agony for me, lol. It’s not like I didn’t want Ariel dupes, since before this I only had one 0UB copy of her, but still. The first dupe I got came from my first daily tenfold, and then the second one gave me two Ariel dupes almost back to back, so that was just agonizing in a lot of ways. So yeah I ended up using tickets and wyrmites to chase for GC, and I ended up having to spend 60 extra summons to get them, so that was extremely painful, but I at least got them in the end. Specifically I got two copies of GC and a fourth Ariel dupe all on the final tenfold I did.

So I ended up with a MUB Ariel just from dupes, and a 1UB GC who I just decided to use stones on to get MUB. Which I don’t really regret, since I still have like 10 sunlight stones left after this anyway. Funnily enough I didn’t get any copies of Summer Sakuya, but I’d say that’s a good thing since I already had her MUB from all the copies I got of her when she came out, and she’s not the sort of dragon I want to have multiple copies of. So at least this banner ended up working out surprisingly well for me in spite of me spending a lot more resources on it than I probably should have.

I was actually planning to do the platinum summons to try and get GC instead of dipping into my vouchers and wyrmite, and I even got some diamantium to prepare for that, but then I found out that the platinum summon wasn’t actually for the three focus dragons on that banner, and was literally just ‘you get one 5-star dragon at random in each platinum summon’, so I just decided to pass on that entirely and use my regular summons instead.

I also got a dupe Xuan Zang at some point but I can’t remember if that was in the dragon banner or the gala remix.

And on the note of the gala remix, oh boy this whole pair of banners was just a one-two punch of me going through the exact same process of going “I’m gonna be smart about this and only spend my free tenfolds and save all my resources for the end of the month :)” and then using my resources anyway because I’m a dumb idiot baby. But like with how GC was the only dragon that was able to genuinely tempt me to spend resources on a dragon banner, I ended up being unable to resist the temptation of this gala remix because it had Gala Alex on it, who was the only gala unit in the whole game that I didn’t have at that point, and I was specifically hoping to be able to get her at some point. She was one of my main priority targets along with Halloween and New Years, so I honestly don’t even regret it that much, but it kinda sucked because I didn’t care about the Akasha and Melsa alts at all, and i already had a MUB Cat Sith, so Alex was literally the only unit on the banner I wanted, and I was hoping she’d be on a more exciting banner than this, lol.

Anyway, I still did all my free tenfolds first, and let’s just say that the very first one gave me a dupe Albert, which felt like divine punishment for my hubris with the dragon banner. I figured something like that was gonna come around to screw me over for spending on that banner, but I wasn’t expecting something so immediate and so specifically designed to mess with me.

I also got a Liger dupe from that summon as well, which was enough for me to get him MUB. Beforehand I wouldn’t have really cared since he’s not a very good dragon for the most part, but he’s apparently one of the best dragons for Gala Zena, so that’s cool.

I don’t think I got anything noteworthy from my other free tenfolds aside from a Siren dupe, which I’m just keeping in my inventory as a random copy now since I already had her MUB before this.

So then I was stuck with the lingering question of if I should go out of my way to chase Gala Alex, and if it was even worth it. I did some full on mental calculations about what my current stash was like, and how many more summons I expected to be able to get between now and the end of this month, to see how far I was wiling to go before I ended up with too few summons to be able to spark by the end of the month. I don’t remember exactly how many summons I had in my stash at that point, but I guess I figured I was willing to take the risk, since I decided to do an extra 20 summons on the banner, which got me . . . Catherine, lol. Because this banner really decided to pull the old ‘you think it’s one of the focus characters but it’s actually some random character of the same weapon type’ switcheroo two different times. I didn’t have Catherine, though, so at least she wasn’t a useless dupe like Albert. I’m probably not gonna use her in the long run, but I’m putting her in my water team for the moment along with Eugene.

After that, I decided to just cut my losses and call it quits. But as the rest of the day went on I kept thinking back to the question of how many summons i’d be able to have by the end of the month, and how many I could afford to spend on this banner while still being able to spark. Which included me taking into account how paid diamantium pulls give double wyrmsigils, because I’m not above taking advantage of that at this point if I need to, lol. So anyway I ended up opening the game again to do another summon session, at least until I got my next pity break.

And after an additional 20 summons, I actually somehow managed to get Gala Alex, lol. It honestly kinda doesn’t feel real yet, but I actually got her. The emotional rollercoaster of seeing that rainbow sword after having been spooked by Albert at the start of this banner was on a whole other level to just about anything I’ve experienced with summoning in this game, but at least it all worked out in the end.

Now I have every single gala unit in the game, including a MUB copy of every gala dragon, so that’s neat. Honestly half of the reason why I wanted Gala Alex was just to complete my collection of gala units. I’m not sure how much I’ll even use her at this point. But I’m still happy I got her after all this. I remember spending like 300 summons on her debut banner without getting her, so it’s a relief to finally get her. Same with how I recently got Gala Elly after also unsuccessfully spending like 300 summons on her debut banner.

I guess now I have to actually grind out a 6-star shadow sword for her, since I didn’t have one before this [since I don’t really use shadow swords often], and I also have to finally get around to figuring out how the fuck her kit works, lol. At least it gives me a reason to grind Kai Yan again, right in time for co-op double drops.

I’m honestly not even sure if I’m gonna be able to spark by the end of the month at this point, at least after seeing how heavily they nerfed the wyrmite and ticket rewards for the Accursed Archive rerun. At the end of the last banner I had like 200 summons left over, and I have a little over 2.4k diamantium, so even taking into account the double wyrmsigils for diamantium summons thing, it might be very tight. Especially since I’m planning to get the dream summon at the end of the month as well. Though I do have like a million adventurer stories and stuff to read, since I’ve only read like three or four in the past, like, six months, so if I really need to I could probably just go through a lot of that, but we’ll see how it goes.

Technically I don’t even know if I’ll be interested in sparking on whatever banner we’ll get at the end of the month. I’m expecting it to be another Halloween banner, maybe bundled with a new gala dragon, which would all be pretty tempting. But we don’t really have any idea what to expect from it, so for all I know I might not even be interested in summoning on it, which would be a bit anti-climactic at this point. But if we they give us a new gala dragon, I want to get at least one copy of them. And new Halloween units have a good chance to be really tempting, at least since they’re limited. I know the Akasha and Melsa alts were also limited Halloween alts, but I just didn’t care that much for them. Which might end up happening if we get another Halloween banner, but I hope not.

Personally my main hope at this point is that we actually get Halloween Euden as a gacha alt and not just a story costume. I know he’s gotten other event-only story costumes before, but I think this one’s different since it’s a lot more unique and detailed than the other ones, and this is also the first time we’ve ever seen it. It’s also kinda weird that it doesn’t even show up in the event’s story itself, which makes me also wonder if it might be more of a tease for a follow-up Halloween event. If he does end up getting released as a unit, I’m guessing he’ll be a shadow wand or healer going by how his design looks, which would be kinda unfortunate since those are some really competitive areas, but I’d still want to get him just because I love his design, lol.

I also wouldn’t be surprised if we get some combination of Shion, Delphi, and Shishimai alts, to go with their new wyrmprint art. I know we’ve gotten all sorts of seasonal alt designs that only show up in wyrmprints, but we did recently get Summer Amane who was first teased via a log-in bonus, so who knows. It’d at least be nice to get any sort of playable version of Shion, but I also really like how Shishimai looks in his Halloween costume.

Maybe we’ll finally get playable versions of mummy Luca or werewolf Ranzal, but I’m not gonna hold my breath.

That’s basically all we have to even vaguely go off of, but I also like the idea that maybe the new Halloween event will be a third part to the Accursed Archives event series, which might mean we’ll get Halloween Heinwald, or a story-based alt for him like with Xuan Zang.

Also, while I remember, my current dream summon candidate is Mitsuba [mainly because there’s barely anyone left in the permanent pool who interests me that much, lol], but I’m holding out until the free tenfolds end just in case I get her from one of them. If I do, my backup option would probably be Yurius. Like I said before, GC was an option, but now that I have them they’re not an issue anymore.

Anyway these two banners feel like they dragged me through all seven layers of Hell, and now i think I’ve made a contract to sell my soul to Big Chungus.

[khafe]

Episode 1: Our Journey Begins

Below is a transcription of episode 1 of Kingdom Hearts: A Forgotten Era

Laina: Hello everyone and welcome to Kingdom Hearts: A Forgotten Era, an actual play podcast set in the universe of Kingdom Hearts,60 years before the events of Birth by Sleep. We will be playing Interstitial:  Our Hearts Intertwined, a game made by Riley Hopkins. You can find them at @RevRyeBread on Twitter. To start things off, I would like everyone to introduce themselves, say your name and pronouns. I'm Laina. I use she/her and they/them pronouns and I will be running this game.

Isiah: Hi, I'm Isiah, I use he/him and they/them pronouns.

Nathan: Hi, I'm Nathan, I use he/him pronouns.

Theo: I'm Griffin McElroy. No, I'm Theo, I use he/him.

Rem:I'm Rem, I use they/them pronouns.

Val: Hi, I'm Val, and I use she her pronouns.

Laina: Alright, so, our story begins with our cameras zoomed out, showcasing a city built on a hill surrounded by water. The camera quickly swoops across the entirety of the city, and we watch his children run through the street, as couriers deliver mail to many of the homes, guards patrol the city, working to keep everyone safe, and students wielding strange key shaped weapons spar with each other. Our camera zooms back out, showcasing the whole city once again, and the words "Scala ad Caelum" appear on screen. The camera lingers on the shot of the city for a while before zooming into the top of the city. A large spire with blade spinning in the wind, much like a windmill. Our camera zooms in even further into an open window at the top of this building. And we see two kids playing a game of chess, one dressed in white and one dressed in black. The boy in black has lost this game but the boy in white suggests a new game when they haven't played before. He brings out five white pieces and seven black pieces. Both of the boys smile at each other and begin playing this new game. But before we see the results of it, our camera zooms back out, this time zooming in on an open clearing, where four warriors wielding keyblades are sparring against one another.

Laina: One of these keyblade wielders is in an outfit far fancier than the rest of them. Rem, I would like you to briefly introduce your character.

Rem: Yeah, I'm playing Aesa, she's gonna be using a custom playbook called the Henshin, it's a transforming character playbook. She's currently trying her hardest but she's not very good at this yet. She’s just kind of flailing around a little bit in her little pink hoodie with the cat ears.

Laina: Okay, so our camera pans over to the person that she is sparring with. This person is using a wooden keyblade, but that doesn't seem to be stopping her determination. Theo I would like you to introduce your character.

Theo: I would be pleased too. I'm playing Zenica, the hunted. She's dressed mostly varying shades of green. She's got a green leather jacket going, with a green scarf over top. Wearing jeans and a pair of green sneakers. She's, probably in the fight, she's probably not using the wooden keyblade as you're meant to use a keyblade, she's probably using a little bit more just like how you would use a normal stick. She's probably doing pretty good in this fight, like in a good natured way, she's not just being mean and smacking the shit out of Aesa.

Laina: Okay, so our camera pulls away from Aesa and Zenica and moves to one of the couriers in the city. This one is a man with short curly brown hair, dressed in baggy clothes. Nathan, I would like you to introduce your character.

Nathan: My character's name is Celeritas Quickfoot. He's going to be using the Knucklehead playbook, and he is just a super friendly, just the most shounen protagonist, shounen protagonist in all but the genre of thing we're doing.

Laina: Alright, so our camera pans back to the open clearing and we focus on the other set of keyblade wielders sparring against each other. This next keyblade wielder is a slightly older looking man. He is using a metal keyblade and one that is reminiscent of a rapier. I would like you to introduce your character Isiah.

Isiah: So, his name is Imber. He is the Discarded playbook. And I think right now he is sort of sparring kind of defensively looking for an opening.

Laina: Okay. Our final Keyblade wielder is wielding a keyblade that looks like a blank car or house key. Last but not least, I would like you to introduce your character, Val.

Val: My character is Milo, he is the Dark playbook, and he is definitely a more aggressive fighter. He is trying to break down Imbers defenses and, sort of, whacking determinately at the blade to sort of throw him off balance.

Laina: All right. So as each of you are going about your day you receive a message saying that the keyblade wielder, Master Nalia, who all of you study under wishes to speak with you immediately.

Laina: You all make your way to the same clearing that the keyblade wielders were training at and meet with Master Nalia. Master Nalia is a young keyblade master with pink hair dressed in the regalia expected of a keyblade master. As you all arrive, she says, "Ah, it's good to see you all. I'm very glad that you got my message. We don't know why, but many of the world's have begun to fall to darkness. And I trust that you students will be able to save them. I've arranged a ship to take you between worlds and have opened up the lanes in between. And if you are all ready to go, you can set off at once. Are there any questions?"

Theo: Sorry, what?

Rem: Aesa's gonna shyly raise her hand and be like, "Are you sure you want me to go?"

Isiah: Imber is going to raise his hand and kind of look at Milo, a little bit and be like, "Are you sure you want all of us to go?"

Nalia: I am positive. I've seen your training and I feel that you are the best picks to go.

Zenica: Master Nalia, I've been here about a week and a half, I appreciate the compliment, but I don't remember this being part of what the tuition fees are paying for. I don't remember signing on for this.

Theo: And Zenica is saying all of this with a smile on her face, but she is very clearly like, "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit."

Laina: She kind of like, laughs a little bit at that and she's like, "Being keyblade wielders you are expected to save the worlds when it needs to happen. This is very much something you signed on for."

Imber: Are you sure that we are all capable of that?

Nalia: I'm positive.

Rem: Aesa tries not to look too hurt.

Nathan: Also, another important question, is Celeritas there?

Laina: Celeritas is there.

Nathan: Okay, okay. He managed to make it in time.

Theo: "Wait I need to give this again, give me like ten minutes fam." Has to go get him from outside.

Nathan: This man had to spring through the rest of his deliveries for the day to make it back to this field in time.

Isiah: Celeritas dived in through the window.

Laina: Everyone just waited for you.

Theo: Celeritas just has his head in a trash can and a mop bucket, and like, "Wait what?"

Nathan: And he still has his couriers bag with him at all times, because obviously.

Laina: Yeah.

Theo: Alright, so I think Zenica is not sure how she can nope out of this without arousing more suspicion so she's just gonna shut up and kind of look panicked.

Rem: Aesa just definitely feels like the weak link right now.

Val: Milo puffs out his chest and is just like,"All of you guys have worked with me and obviously if you guys worked with me ,you have potential, we've worked with Master Nalia, we have potential. All we have to do is follow our power and we can get through this."

Theo: Cool speech pat.

Laina: She points out at Milo and is like, "That's the kind of attitude that I'm here for."

Val: Oh, he's preening he is, he is definitely like, puffing out his chest and like looking very pleased with himself.

Theo: Zenica is definitely like rubbing the back of her neck and kind of like, kicking the floor and is like, "So are we gonna go ahead and go then? Question mark?"

Isiah: Imber goes, "Is there any more information that you can give us about what exactly we need to do?"

Theo: Nope, bye!

Imber: Want to maybe give us a debriefing?

Rem: Or a briefing.

Nalia: I need you to eliminate the heartless in each of these worlds and then seal the keyhole.

Theo: (Laughs)

Rem: Aesa is gonna summon and unsummon her keyblade a couple of times, and then say, "Yeah, we can do that."

Isiah: Imber goes, "I suppose I will do my best to make you proud."

Nalia: That is always my hope.

Nathan: Celeritas is just really excited that he gets a chance to now deliver mail across dimensions.

Isiah: You're like, "Oh boy I can't wait to deliver more things on this quest."

Nathan: Hell yeah. Courier by nature and courier by trade.

Theo: Celeritas is gonna kill the final boss of this campaign and be like, "Express shipping, two days or less. Bitch."

Nathan: Celeritas grabs a sign post, slams it into the final boss... Oh, I had a one-liner, and it's gone now. Damn it.

Isiah: “Special delivery,” and then a punch in the face.

Nathan: That was it. I was gonna say, "Special delivery." Damn it Isiah.

Theo: "Through rain or sleet or snow."

Laina: Oh I love this.

Theo: Can we just hard cut and we're walking to the gummi ship or whatever it's called?

Laina: Yeah, you can, you're walking to the--.

Theo: Wait, I have one more question!

Isiah: Just a screen wipe.

Laina: Well actually, as you all get ready to leave, Nalia stops Imber and Milo and says, "You two, think of this as a test. I want nothing more than for you to prove to me that you're ready to become a keyblade master. But I need to be shown that you have it in you to become a master. This is your chance to show me that, and I very much hope that you will succeed." And she gives you a bow and then sends you on your way.

Val: Milo is literally like vibrating and then goes still. And then he looks at Imber, and he's just like, and he's like-

Theo: That was the weirdest thing.

Val: He's like, "I get the feeling that you don't think I can do this."

Imber: I, I definitely believe that you can. I'm concerned that you won't.

Val: I don't know how to answer that, and he's going to walk away.

Nathan: Celeritas just runs up, "Hey guys what's up?" Sees the conversation is awkward, instantly backs out.

Theo: Yo, there's leather upholstery in here!

Val: Milo kind of brusquely moves past Celeritas.

Celeritas: Cool, cool, cool, picked a bad time, I'll just go that way.

Theo: There's LaCroix in here!

Isiah: So I guess, we all get to- Is there gonna be a gummi ship?

Laina: There is a gummi ship, yeah.

Theo: It's the Ebon Hawk from Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. That's canon.

Laina: Well actually, technically Star Wars isn't canon in the Kingdom Hearts universe.

Theo: You're gonna have a fun job editing this aren't you?

All: (Laughs)

Laina: No, I'm keeping that in.

Rem: Oh that's all being kept.

Theo:I wanna say, the idea that I would like to put forward, just to move things along, when they're getting into the gummi ship, Zenica sees the last seat available is beside Milo, and she sits as far on the edge of her seat as she can. Casually, not making a big deal, just like, "Hey, what's up?" Kind of sitting on the arm.

Nathan: Celeritas, before going to gummi ship, went back and dropped by his siblings to tell them he'll be out for a bit.

Theo: Fucking brag. Oh.

Nathan: No.

Rem: Aesa, definitely, definitely had a moment where she didn't have any stuff to work through. So she got in immediately and in her front of the class mentality, she immediately sat in the pilots seat, looked down, realized it was the pilot seat, and got back up.

All: (Laughs)

Laina: Yeah I was gonna ask...

Theo: And then none of us sat in the pilot seat because none of us- Nalia is like, "I feel like I forgot something... Oh no."

Isiah: Which one of us is gonna be the pilot?

Theo: Wait a minute. If you have daddy issues and I have daddy issues, then who's flying this thing?

Celeritas: Don't worry guys, I got this!

Nathan: And then cuts to the outside of the gummi ship as everyone is screaming as Celeritas (inaudible).  

Val: Milo is reaching forward for the controls like, "This was a mistake, this was a mistake to let you drive."

Rem: Does the gummi ship still run on smiles?

Laina: The gummi ship 100% still runs on smiles. So really, it's the best that Celeritas is driving.

Rem: Aesa and Celeritas are gonna have to fuel this thing by themselves.

Nathan: Celeritas is absolutely grinning like a maniac the whole time.

Val: Milo was feeling happy.

Isiah: So I think Imber is probably the last to get on. And I think before stepping on, he sort of like turns around and looks at like Scala ad Caelum, and the place that he has been in for so long. And he just sort of takes in a deep breath and exhales and then walks onto the ship.

Laina: Hell yeah. Okay.

Laina: So as you all get inside, the ship--.

Isiah: Hell yeah, breathing.

Laina: Hell yeah, I mean that is very important.

Laina: As you all get inside the gummi ship, the ship takes off and heads into the Ocean Between. As you leave Scala ad Caelum, you see three more worlds, and the names of each world pops up above the world. The worlds you see in front of you are called the Mystery Shack, Atlantis and the Incan Empire. Which would you all like to go to first?

Theo: Incan Empire, right now!

Isiah: I just want to say I immediately got excited by all three of those.

Theo: Yes. These are three very good pulls.

Rem: Just hard left to the Mystery Shack.

Theo: All of our characters are gonna be possessed by like unknown spirits, and yanking at the wheel at opposite directions.

Theo: But also I guess, Celeritas is the one at the pilot seat so he has the final vote.

Val and Isiah: (Laughs)

Rem: Oh shit, that's true.

Theo: We're all like, "What are these places I have no preference."

Rem: We're just gonna have that Kingdom Hearts 1 moment of fighting over the wheel and crashing in Deep Jungle.

Isiah: Of course it would be Deep Jungle.

Theo: Which ever one we pick we just end up in somewhere else.

Nathan: By virtue of my character being the one in the driver seat, Celeritas just says to himself, "Huh, that sounds fun," and goes towards the Mystery Shack.

Rem: Hell yeah.

Theo: Oh God.

Laina: Heck yeah, I was honestly really hoping that that would be the first one you picked.

Rem: I can't wait to use a transformation sequence in front of Mabel Pines.

Theo: "Wait, who's Mabel Pines?" Says Zenica, "I wonder what's at this mystery shack."

Nathan: "It's a mystery." Celeritas laughs to himself quietly.

Val: Milo is very confused and he's like, "How are we gonna save the world at a shack?"

Zenica: That's the mystery!

Celeritas: No way to find out but to do it!

Milo: Yeah, I suppose.

Imber: I wonder what kind of mysteries will be found here in this shack.

Theo: Plot twist, we're going into Supernatural instead.

Laina:That would be a twist. So, as you make your decision, the ship takes off into that direction. Considering you don't have the most training with flying a gummi ship, you make your way to the aforementioned shack and you crash into the top of it.

Rem: Oh no.

Nathan: That tracks.

Isiah: Do we knock off any letters?

Theo: It has to be while Soos is replacing the S, that has to be canon.

Laina: Yeah, yeah 100%.

Theo: He's gonna have to climb down the ladder and be like, "There, good job done." And then we drive by and it just falls off again.

Imber: Theo that was such a good Soos impression.

Laina: That was a really good Soos.

Theo, as Soos: There we go.

Nathan: You're voicing Soos from now on.

Theo: I know what character I'm being when Zenica dies.

Rem: So what I'm hearing is we're pulling a Stitch commercial.

Laina: Yeah, basically. So you've landed inside of the shack, and you hear the sound of two children screaming.

Theo: Like in fear or like arguing?

Isiah: Well, we just crashed into a building .So probably, probably not excitement, that's for sure.

Val: I think Milo immediately like, wants to react to children screaming with a like,  "Oh, we gotta figure out like, like, I don't want people to be afraid. So, you know, as long as like, it's people who don't deserve to be afraid." So he's gonna try and like... Milo's got issues, guys, I think we've established this, and he's gonna he's gonna try and sort of like be the first one out of the door and see, you know what he can do to help out.

Theo: Is the door leading inside the shack or onto the roof?

Laina: You landed on the roof.

Theo: But is the door leading inside, because you said we crashed into the place.

Laina: Yeah, it's leading inside.

Nathan: Celeritas is profusely apologizing for crashing everyone into a building.

Isiah: Imber's consoling him.

Theo: Zenica's following Milo out the front, and is like dusting her shoulder, looking back at Celeritas like, "Celeritas, you're fine." Looks at the kids like, "Sup." Flips them a peace sign.

Isiah: Laina, I have a question.

Laina: I have an answer.

Isiah: Were we told to protect the world border?

Laina: Oh my god, you were not.

Theo: Cut back to Nalia, "I feel like I forgot to say something, oh no!"

Laina: No, that 100% happens.

Theo: She's like drinking a cup of tea and it's like, "Oh no, oh shit.”

Isiah: You can, you can burn a link to make a mild retcon so.

Laina: I mean, I can't burn. I don't think I can do that. That's up to y'all.

Rem: I'm sure that Nalia has links with all of us that she can burn.

Nathan: Besides, she's the GM, you're god, you can do whatever.

Laina: Yeah, that's true. I'm gonna say you were you were told that.

Rem: Were or were not?

Laina: You were told to maintain the world border.

Laina: So in front of you, you see a kid, a very slightly shorter kid wearing a hat with a blue tree on it. And next to him is a slightly taller kid wearing a pink... What's the word? Sweater. That's the word.

Val: Como se dice?

Laina: And the girl in the pink sweater is like, "Oh my gosh, are you like, are you aliens?" And you see the the boy in the hat is like flipping through a journal he has that has a handprint and then the letter three. The letter letter three?

Theo: The letter three.

Laina: The number three on it.

Theo: The letter three. That was my favorite Kubrick film.

Val: Milo is going to take stock of the situation. He is going to run a hand under his long white braid. And he's going to look at both children and say, "Yes."

Isiah: Of course. Immediately blows our cover.

Rem: Aesa has just emerged from the gummi ship, and is like--.

Val: I feel like, I feel like if they think we're aliens, I think that's better than them thinking that we're keyblade wielders trying to...

Isiah: I guess that's fair.

Nathan: Aliens is better than interdimensional travelers. That is a sentence I never thought I'd say.

Theo: Zenica just immediately pushes past Milo and is like, "Hey kids, sup? Also aliens, what are those?" I had a line and forgot it.

Laina: The girl in the pink sweater is, the girl in the pink sweater is kind of jumping up and down. She's like, "Oh my gosh, we've ever met aliens before."

Nathan: "Hello!" Celeritas says, popping out of the door. "Has anything weird happened lately? I mean, besides us."

Laina: Oh yeah, there's been there's been a bunch of hauntings around the place.

Nathan: Is that normal for here, or weird for here?

Laina: Well, we've encountered ghosts before. So it's not that weird.

Nathan: Oh, nice.

Isiah: That sounds normal.

Nathan: I was going for, you know, Celeritas was asking if anything weird has happened, and it's Gravity Falls, so.

Laina: Yeah, things are always weird in Gravity Falls.

Val: Milo is really interested in this book, and the child that has not spoken yet, and so he's like trying to like sort of like crouch because he's very tall. And so he's like trying to crouch and sort of look at the book that like the child is flipping through. And he's like, "What are you trying to read?"

Laina: So the kid in the blue hat- I'm just going to say their names from now on, even though they haven't introduced themselves.

Zenica: By the way, what are your names?

Laina: The girl in the pink sweater is like, "Oh, I'm Mable and this is my twin brother Dipper."

Laina: And Dipper is like, "Oh, this book is..." And he closes it. "It's a secret."

Theo: Zenica immediately rolls up and picks the book out of his hands and starts flipping through it. Very casually, not like a schoolyard bully, just picks it up and starts like, "Hmm."

Rem: Aesa is gonna give him back the book.

Theo: I feel like as she walks past, Aesa walks past the other way.

Rem:She's just like, "No."

Laina: Dipper kind of glares up at Zenica, and then is like, "Thank you," to Aesa.

Theo: "So, that was a lot. I only got a few pages of that. Is a kid like you old enough to be reading a book like that?" She says teasingly.

Dipper: I'll have you know that I am almost 13 years old.

Zenica: Almost 13 years old, that's a crazy age.

Rem: Aesa immediately goes into traumutizing flashbacks of when she was almost 13 years old.

Isiah: Imber goes, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but does that mean that you are 12?"

Laina: Mabel is like, "Yeah, we're 12."

Theo: The geometry gif of like, the fucking, almost 13. Uhhh.

Isiah: Imber nods thoughtfully.

Milo: It even means that they're both 12, Imber, because they're twins.

Nathan: To be fair... Oh, they did say they were twins. Anyway.

Val: Milo's gonna put out two hands towards the twins and be like, "I'm Milo"

Laina: They both shake your hand and Mabels like, "I'm Mable," again even though she already introduced herself.

Theo: Zenica's gonna hop on one of the beds, like sort of reclining, like,  "So sorry to crash in like this, but we're looking for something, I guess, right?" And she sort of looks at Imber reflexively, sort of mouthing like...

Imber: I say, "Yes, we are searching for a dark forces that may have appeared recently."

Celeritas: You can't miss them, they're scary shadow monsters, they try to eat people's hearts, it's real messy.

Theo: Dipper, booking intensifies.

Milo: Ghosts. They are ghosts. That's all they are. Ghosts. Like you said to Celeritas.

Laina: Mabel's like, "Yeah, we have we have seen some ghosts around here."

Imber: Could you tell us anything about that? Where they were, where they went, what they did?

Mabel: They were in town. They've been kind of going between houses. They've they've been attacking people. We've been trying to do something about it, but they aren't as friendly as the previous ghosts we've encountered.

Theo: As a side note, I like this idea that we crashed into the top of the Mystery Shack, but thus far, no one else who is regularly in the Mystery Shack has come to investigate.

Rem: Soos has to fix the S again, obviously.

Soos: Aww, I can't believe it. Again.

Nathan: Stan cannot be bothered to investigate.

Imber: And Wendy isn't paid enough for this.

Theo: Grunkle Stan is downstairs like, "You crazy kids!"

Laina: Yeah, we cut to a scene of Grunkle Stan watching... Oh God, that that. Yeah, Duck Detective.

Nathan: It's Ducktective.

Ducktective, and he just kind of looks up and he's like, "Huh."

Theo: It's the episode where Ducktective shoots a newspaper magnet in the face.

Laina: Yes.

Nathan: That was one of my favorites.

Theo: That's a joke someone's gonna get. A very narrow niche of people listening to this is gonna get.

Val: I think Milo would look at the two children and sort of look around and realize like, he doesn't know where anything is in this place. He's gonna look at the two children again, he's gonna be like, "Can you lead us to where you've seen these things attacking things? I'm sure that we can figure out a way..."

Celeritas: And if not you, your parents. Where are your parents? Are there any responsible adults around here? At all?

Laina: Mabel's like, "Well, there's adults but I wouldn't call them responsible," and she kind of like, she goes, "Ahyuck hyuck hyuck."

Isiah: Can I make a link with Mabel?

Laina: Yes, you can make a link Mabel.

Isiah: I want to make a light link with her because she is so charming.

Laina: Okay, so that's 2d6 plus your light stat.

Isiah:That's 1d6 plus light?

Laina: 2d6 plus light.

Isiah: Ah, yes.

Theo: Following him, can I make a mastery link with Dipper, because I feel like Zenica is really interested in that book.

Laina: Okay, yeah.

Theo: Just once Isiah's done rolling. First good roll of the game!

Isiah: I rolled a four!

Theo: I can't believe you rolled a 16, that's not even possible!

Laina: Oh God now that means I have to...

Theo: Well, you can just change the links, you don't have to take a hard move on a failure for making a link.

Laina: Oh yeah.

Rem: You just say it's the wrong link.

Laina: I'm gonna say that Isa instead, or Aesa instead gets the light link with Mabel.

Theo: So I want to roll, I have nothing for mastery, so that's a flat 2d6.

Laina: Also Isiah, or Imber, you get a... You get a... What was that?

Theo: I rolled so good. I'm the best at this game.

Laina: Oh okay yeah, you get you get a mastery link with Dipper, and your link move triggers.

Theo: My link move doesn't normally trigger, but he gets a link with me, because that's how the success works.

Laina: I'm gonna say he also gets a mastery link with you.

Theo: He wants to know how I so smoothly picked the book out of his hand.

Laina: Yeah.

Theo: I didn't even see her coming.

Laina: Imber also gets a... I'm gonna say a heart link with Mabel.

Isiah: Sorry say that again?

Laina: You get a heart link with Mabel.

Isiah: All right.

Theo: Also I get to mark one on my hunted track. For those not in the know with Interstitial, as the Hunted, when certain conditions are met, my hunted track advances, meaning my adversary who's facing me gets closer. One of those things that advances the track? Making a link of any kind.

Laina: I forgot about that. Woo.

Theo: But it was worth it because now I'm going to learn from Dipper about monsters and shit.

Rem: So this is a very important question, does the sweater light up?

Laina: It looks like it does have some lights in it.

Isiah: I wanted to ask what the design of her sweater was this episode.

Laina: I'm gonna say that cuz I'm in a Christmasy mood, it's a Christmas tree.

Isiah: Okay.

Theo: So she's wearing a sweater with the exact same design as her brothers hat.

Laina: Yeah, basically.

Theo: That works.

Nathan: So the moment these two said that there were no responsible adults around, Celeritas immediately entered overprotective big brother mode. So I'm going to roll to make a light link with them.

Laina: Okay.

Theo: Two rolls.

Laina: Two rolls.

Nathan: Woo!

Laina: Okay, so you get a light link with Mabel.

Theo: Oh your link move triggers! The Knucklehead fucking link move triggers.

Rem: What's that?

Laina: He gets, well I'll let him explain, sorry.

Nathan: These two have instantly figured out that I am...

Theo: Well, you have to roll again, you don't get to just get two links off of one roll.

Laina: Yeah, you do have to roll again.

Nathan: I mean...

Laina: Well, I guess Mabel...

Theo: That would be so busted if you could just roll and get 30 successes off of one roll.

Nathan: The thing was, Celeritas sees them as both in the same... It's one link.

Laina: It's for them in tandem.

Nathan: Like with Celeritas' actual sibilings.

Theo: What's it gonna be back, because he succeeded, but they can't both get a link with you with one roll.

Laina: I'm gonna, I'm gonna... Rules are nebulous. I'm gonna say that he gets a light link with both of them, and they both get a light link with him.

Nathan: So, now that they know that I'm the hero of this story, I have a +1 forward to convince them or limit break with them.

Laina: Hell yeah.

Val: So Celeritas, his reaction to there are no responsible adults around here is to go into protective mode, Milo's reaction is to "Oh, so I just had to teach them to be self sufficient." He wants to create mastery links with Mabel and Dipper Pine, teaching them how to how to, you know, reach into themselves. And, you know, make sure that they can take care of themselves. Cuz as far as he knows he they can't do that yet.

Laina: Yeah.

Val: Ooh, that's a fail.

Laina: Okay.

Isiah: You can spend a link and reroll.

Laina: You can spend a link to make a link. Okay, uh.

Theo: I like to say it's dark because they see you being like, "Listen young ones, sometimes you must kill to survive."

Laina: I'm gonna say you get a dark link with them, and they get a dark link with you.

Val: Okay.

Isiah: Good start. Also...

Theo: Sometimes bees will sting you. This is alright, simply eat the bees.

Isiah: Eat the bees. I think how my heart link with Mabel manifests is when I hear that there are no responsible adults. I gain a respect for them for being able to be self sufficient in a world that doesn't properly take care of them. From my very little interactions with them.

All: (Laughs)

Isiah: I definitely think it's way worse than it is

Nathan: Despite that, Imber is the only one that gets that Nipper, Dipper and Mabel are fine.

Theo: Nipper.

Nathan: Shut up.

Theo: Nipper, that's what I got on my pectorals.

Nathan: Stop.

Laina: Okay, so Dipper and Mabel are like, "We can absolutely take you to see the ghosts, just follow us." They head downstairs.

Theo: Zenica slides down the railing.

Rem: Does Grunkle Stan see us?

Laina: Grunkle Stan sees five strangers come down.

Theo: Zenica (inaudible) like, "Sup old man, peace sign, out."

Nathan: Celeritas just says, "By the way, we're aliens, we're sorry we crashed into your roof, we'll be back eventually!" And then bails.

Isiah: Imber says, "Ignore both of them and also me and also the two other people, we'll be out of your hair soon."

Theo: Can we have the canonical scene where as we're leaving through the gift shop, Wendy's reading a magazine at the counter and ignores all of us

Laina: Yeah. 100% Wendy doesn't even notice you exist.

Rem: I can't wait to come back to see our gummi ship on a sales counter.

All: (Laughs)

Theo: We leave, the door closes, Zenica dips back in looks at a snow globe, shakes it, is enthralled, stuffs in her pocket, leaves.

Rem: Zenica no.

Isiah: Zenica just steals a snow globe.

Theo: Zenica's the cool one. But there's no weed in disney.

Isiah: Disnweed. Nope, that doesn't work.

Laina: Okay, so, you head out of the Mystery Shack and I think I'm gonna leave the session off there? If that's okay with everyone else?

Theo: I think we need a hook for like better than just, "And you leave the Mystery Shack."

Laina: You leave the Mystery Shack and you hear off, kind of in the distance towards where the town is. You hear screaming, and you all rush off over there.

Theo: We roll into action. Autobots, roll out.

Rem: We get Aesa to reveal that she has a gun.

Theo: Zenica looks at the camera and says, "I guess, this is about to get serious."

Isiah: Can we can we get like a supernatural force of Gravity Falls like having observed the scene and laughs to itself? Like like Bill Cypher is like "Aliens, huh?"