#all i understood is that they can change it with another old engine

[grogumaximus]

[say-hwaet]

HIGH SIERRA: a RED DEAD REDEMPTION STORY

Chapter Five: A Leap of Faith

Hosea Matthews leans back in his favorite porch chair and elevates his feet on the railing. He turns a page in one of his favorite books, A Farewell to Arms, by Earnest Hemingway. He can hear the radio playing some old tunes from within the house, Bessie has always liked to keep the windows open, rather than use the AC. He doesn’t mind.

As he turns another page, he can hear a car coming up their long driveway. Lowering his feet and correcting his posture, he looks out into the clearing beyond the trees. Waiting for a moment, he soon sees the familiar blue SUV.

"Bessie?" he calls.

He hears footsteps and the screen door opens. "What is it, dear?"

"You might want to plan on making extra for dinner."

She looks out and sees her son's car and beams. "That shouldn't be a problem!" She waves excitedly at the car and walks down the steps of the porch to meet it, disregarding the fact that she has no shoes on. Hosea chuckles, shaking his head.

The car comes to a stop. Before Arthur can turn off the engine, Isaac bolts out of the car and runs into the arms of his grandmother. She holds him tightly and gives him multiple kisses on his fuzzy head.

"Hiya, Grammie!"

"Hello, baby! How is my favorite grandson?"

He looks up at her, his cheeks ruddy and pinchable. "Grammie, I am your only grandson!"

She feigns surprise, tapping her head with her fingers. "Oh, that's right! But can you still be my favorite?"

"Sure, Grammie,” the boy chuckles, a warmth in his voice that humors her.

She lets him out of her embrace and exaggerates a dramatic sigh. "Oh, thank you! I'm so relieved!"

Isaac giggles again and hugs himself bashfully. Arthur, after watching the exchange, comes out of the car and lets Copper out of the back. Once released, Copper runs up to Isaac and Bessie, does circles around them, then goes off to sniff for squirrels and other wildlife beyond the borders of the fence line.

"Hello, Mom," Arthur greets her as he leans over and kisses her on the cheek.

She pats his chest lovingly, the wrinkles around her eyes more prominent when she grins from ear to ear. "Hello, son. We didn't think you'd be coming over today!"

Arthur shrugs, his face grimacing apologetically. "I'm sorry, should I have called ahead?"

"No. It's no trouble." She claps a hand on Isaac's shoulder and gives it a gentle squeeze. "We're so glad to have you here!"

Arthur looks up to see Hosea on the porch with a book in hand. "Hey, Dad."

Hosea waves. "Hey, son. How was work today?"

Arthur begins to walk the rest of the driveway and up the stairs to meet his father on the porch. Bessie and Isaac soon follow. He thinks about the events that transpired earlier today, and feels the weight of them again after just trying to forget them, even for a little while. "It was...something."

Hosea leans forward, his eyes peeking over the railing and brows raised. "Oh?"

Arthur tenses a little, and they lock eyes as he scratches the back of his head. "Yeah, I can't really talk about it."

"Understood." Hosea rises to his feet. "Why don't we all go inside? Bessie was about to get dinner started."

"Sounds good, Dad."

Hosea leads the small group inside. The air smells like fresh gardenias and honeysuckle. To Arthur, it smells like home.

"You boys want something to drink?" Bessie asks and she passes by them in the direction of the kitchen. Hosea sits down in his favorite leather chair. Arthur sits down on the couch adjacent to Hosea and Isaac immediately finds a place next to him.

The house has hardly changed since he was a boy. Sure there are a few things here and there, but Bessie has maintained the aesthetic faithfully. It is more cottage-like, as though one were stepping into a Victorian home at the turn of the century, with a few modern commodities.

It had been good for Arthur to be raised here. In the quiet, away from the city. He could step outside and go horseback riding, or sit under the pine trees and draw to his heart’s content. He didn’t require much, just the love that he was never given by his father, and not long enough from his mother.

Arthur looks up at Bessie and nods his head softly. "Water is fine, Mom. For me and the boy."

"Do you have lemonade, Grammie?" Isaac asks hopefully.

Arthur gently taps his son’s arm, shaking his head. "No, Isaac. You can't have that right now..."

It hurts Arthur to see the disappointment on his face. If any other child were to make such a request, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal, but he isn’t. "Why?"

"You can't have sugar for a while,” he answers plainly.

Isaac is now used to being told what he can and can’t do. It has been this way for the past two years. It has also been hard for him, and both Eliza and Arthur wish that it wasn't.

Isaac doesn't say anything, but leans into Arthur and lays on his arm.

"I didn't know he couldn't have sugar," Bessie responds apologetically.

Arthur looks up at his concerned mother and tries to be subtle. "It's new. He is being placed on a new treatment."

Bessie gasps softly. "Oh my."

"I'll talk to you about it later, Mom."

Bessie nods, leaving for the kitchen.

"So what can he have? We were planning on burgers for dinner," Hosea inquires.

Sparing the details, Arthur lists the forbidden items. "No pork, red meat, or sugar. Limited starches and dairy."

"That's it?"

"Pretty much. It clashes with his new medicine."

Hosea’s brow pinches as he leans back in his chair. "I thought that was grapefruit."

"That does happen, yes. But not with his."

Hosea nods, processing this new information. "Okay. We should have some ground turkey. We can make turkey burgers."

Arthur is grateful that they are quick to accommodate his son. Even if he didn’t have a rare form of cancer, they’d still bend over backwards for him. "Sounds good."

Hosea rises slowly out of his chair. "Let me go and tell Bessie.” Then he chuckles. “She's got her radio volume turned on too high." After stretching for a brief moment, he leaves the room.

Arthur looks over to his left arm and sees the saddened Isaac. "You okay, buddy?"

Isaac only nods his head, which isn't very convincing.

Arthur wraps an arm around his son, and pulls him close, giving him a little shake. "C'mon, let's say we go to the stables? I haven't seen Boadicea in a while." Arthur begins to get off the couch slowly and Isaac moves out of the way.

Isaac sighs, "Okay."

Arthur, now on his feet, extends his hand to Isaac, who takes it. Arthur helps pull Isaac to his feet and they both start to walk to the front door.

Arthur calls out into the kitchen from behind him. "Dad, we're gonna go see the horses!"

He doesn’t wait for an answer, and reaching the door first, he lets his son out. Following close behind, they head across the porch and walk down the steps. Upon hearing the noise they're making, Copper comes out of some bushes and catches up with them.

Arthur bends down to pat the dog as he runs on by. "Hey, boy! Let's go!"

The stables aren't too far off, as they can be easily seen from the front porch. Hosea and Bessie own 40 acres of fields and woods, a majority of it being for the horses they raise and riding classes they teach seasonally. They will be starting again soon, as children often take riding classes in the summer.

Horseback riding was a favorite pastime of Isaac's as it not only allowed him time with his family, but he felt free. Since being sick, he has rarely got to do those sorts of things, as his treatments take priority.

But when Eliza mentioned the treatment, it is possible that it could allow some leniency for more "dangerous" activities.

On the way to the stables, Isaac has remained silent, with his eyes cast downward.

And, of course, Arthur is concerned. "What's wrong, bud?"

Isaac shrugs? The grass shuffling under each of his steps. "Just tired."

"You weren't so tired just a minute ago. What's going on?"

"It's nothing."

Arthur lowers his voice, trying his best to conceal his smile. "You ain’t a good liar, son."

Suddenly, Isaac stood and whips around, his eyes intensely glaring. "I am not lying!"

Isaac's tone surprises Arthur and so he stops walking and kneels in front of his son. Upon further inspection, he sees Isaac begin to cry. "Hey, now," he brings his son into his arms and hugs him. "It's okay. It's okay." He lets him cry for a minute before releasing the boy from his embrace and holds him out in front of him. "What is it, son?"

Isaac sniffs, wiping tears with the heel of his palm. "Will I ever get better, Daddy?"

He doesn’t want to lie, but he isn’t sure of the truth. It is all in the air right now, but things are more grim than they are sunshine. "Of course, you will. It will just take time, is all. Cancer is an enemy that I can't shoot or kill. The doctors help your body to do that."

Isaac nods, his lips trembling as he speaks. "I know Mommy cries. She tries hard to hide it from me, but she cries. She tried extra hard today, so I know the cancer isn't gone."

Isaac is a very perceptive boy. Arthur wonders if he heard their conversation earlier, for that would also explain his reaction when Arthur lightly explained the treatment to Hosea. "She's just scared, is all. Cancer is a serious thing, there's no hiding that."

Isaac blinks, a solitary tear trickling down his cheek. "Adults can be scared?"

"Of course, they can. They're people, ain’t they?"

Isaac sniffs, smiling bittersweetly. "Yeah."

And Arthur mirrors the smile, taking his son by the arms. "Shoah. And that just tells you how much she loves you."

Isaac only nods, wiping his eyes.

Arthur gestures toward the stables, which are just a few yards away. "You wanna keep going?"

"Uh huh," Isaac affirms and they continue on their way.

Reaching the stables and the attached fenced-in pasture, Arthur whistles a distinct tune. Waiting a moment, he hears a whinny, and from the distance, a beautiful liver chestnut Hungarian Half Bred comes galloping up. Arthur smiles, glad that Boadicea remembers his call.

When she approaches the fence, Arthur goes in between the beams and into the pasture. He walks up to his mare and pats her neck. "Long time, girl!"

She shakes her head and her mane falls over her eyes and forelock. Taking some mane, he hoists himself on her bare back and gets a feel of being on a horse again.

"Oh, this takes me back," he sighs as he takes in the scenery. He thinks on times when they were easier, when he didn’t have to think of bills, forest fires, or SAUs. He had heard the warning from Hosea to not wish years away, and he is feeling that repercussion now.

He looks down and sees Isaac crawl under the fence and slowly approach him. Arthur holds his hand out to him. "Come here, son, I'll help you up."

Isaac hesitates. It has been a while since he has been on a horse, and his mother has continuously told him to not do dangerous things.

Arthur can see the cognitive dissonance on his son's face. "It's alright, son."

After another moment, Isaac walks over and Arthur swoops down and picks him up with one arm, setting Isaac right in front of him. He’s lighter than he used to be…or should be.

"Now, take her mane like this," he instructs as he guides Isaac's hands. Isaac grabs some of Boadicea's mane and holds tight. Arthur holds onto Isaac with his left arm. "Ready?"

Isaac nods, and Arthur gives Boadicea a gentle kick. She starts to move and Arthur helps Isaac steer her away from the fence.

They take it slow and Arthur takes in the scenery for a moment. Looking down at Isaac, he sees he too is observing their surroundings.

"It's a beautiful country, ain't it?"

"Uh-huh."

Arthur points toward a trail in between the trees. "Remember the trails we used to ride up here? Your mama even came out here sometimes, remember?"

Isaac replies with the same, "Uh-huh."

"What was that horse's name, the one you used to ride?"

"Titan."

Arthur clicks his tongue. "Titan, that's right. He was a brute, wasn't he? But always gentle with you. I bet Grandpa still has him. Maybe we can go on a real ride and you can take him later?"

"Maybe."

Arthur holds Isaac tighter and urges Boadicea to trot. She snorts excitedly. Isaac sits up more, expectantly. "You good?"

"Yeah." Arthur can detect the hint of joy in his voice, and he smiles. They continue this speed for a moment. "Daddy?"

"Yes?"

"Can we go faster?"

There is the Isaac Arthur knows. He kicks again and Boadicea canters. He doesn't want to go any faster than this, but at least it is thrilling enough for a sick boy.

Isaac giggles excitedly, the trees becoming more of a blur as they go by the air feels cooler against his skin, and goosebumps rise on his arms. This is the most thrilling thing he’s experienced in months, years, even.

They come to the edge of the pasture and see the fence in the distance.

Isaac’s eyes widen with excitement. "Let's jump, Daddy!"

Arthur holds tightly onto his son, his brows lifting. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, Daddy, I wanna jump!"

Arthur kicks, and Boadicea gains speed. The energy builds between them and Isaac squeals with delight as the space closes between them and the fence. "Here we go!" Arthur cheers.

Boadicea lifts her forelimbs and gracefully jumps over the fence and they make a sturdy landing on the other side. Isaac jolts forward, which scares him. He gasps.

Arthur feels instant regret. Maybe he should have refused Isaac’s request. "You okay?"

But Isaac nods, his voice bubbling with delight. "Yeah. It scared me. I thought I was gonna fall off!"

Arthur pats his son’s torso. "I got you, buddy. I won't let you fall."

"Okay, Daddy."

Arthur slows Boadicea down, and she walks. They continue to ride for a little while, Arthur occasionally pointing out wildlife that Isaac can identify.

An hour passes, and Arthur hears an echo in the distance.

It sounds like a loud chime. Then he remembers.

It's his mother's dinner bell. "It's dinnertime," Arthur says.

"How can you tell?" Isaac asks, looking into the distance where the sound comes from.

"You hear that, right?"

Isaac nods, his head turned in the direction of the sound. "Yeah."

"That's your grandma. She's ringing a dinner bell."

"Why?"

"We're far way, we can't hear her otherwise."

"Oh. I am kinda hungry."

Arthur chuckles. "So am I. Let's put Boadicea in the stables and head back, okay?"

"Okay."

Arthur turns Boadicea around and with a clicking sound from his mouth, Boadicea trots in the direction of the stables.

***

At the back patio, Arthur sits with his family at the table. He has missed his mother's cooking and is surprised at how delicious the turkey burgers are. He licks his fingers as he finishes a second one.

Bessie chuckles as she passes potato salad over to her husband. "Arthur, don't eat the flowers, there's plenty more if you want them."

Arthur holds up a palm. "Oh, no, Mom. I should probably stop at two. They were delicious."

"I'm glad you liked them," she smiles as she begins to take the glass pitcher. "I'll be right back, I'm just going to get some more water." She begins to head back inside.

"So," Hosea begins, leaning back into his chair. "What are your plans for tomorrow?"

Arthur blinks and lifts his brow. "Plans?"

"Well, sure! Horseback riding? Fishing? Dig holes, what?"

Isaac giggles, mouth full of fresh-cut fries.

Arthur looks over at him and pokes his shoulder. "Isaac, chew with your mouth closed."

"That's what Mommy says all the time." Isaac takes another fry and dips it in mustard.

Arthur shakes his head and turns to Hosea. "I thought we'd just see how things go. Do you still have Titan?"

Hosea tilts his head. "The quarter horse? Sure, we do! He's getting on in years, but he makes a great trail rider. Did you want to take him out?"

Arthur nods as he hands his son another napkin. "Yeah, for Isaac. I did think we could go on a day ride tomorrow. You want to join us?"

"I might be able to. We'll have to see what your mother has in store. She's always got some project she needs help with."

"I know,” Arthur chuckles, thinking on all the other times she had set herself on a long-term project. She has always had the need to keep busy, as if being a veterinarian, and horse riding instructor wasn’t enough. “What's it this time?"

Hosea leans forward, resting his elbows on the table as he tries to suppress his laughter. He wants to build up Arthur’s curiosity before sharing all of it. "Have you heard of those she-sheds?"

Arthur snorts, "Yes. She's wanting one of those?"

"Yes. We got all the materials yesterday. She is intent on building it herself, but I know that she will be asking me for help soon enough."

Arthur nods, patting his leg in humor. "Shoah."

Suddenly, Bessie comes back out without the pitcher, but with a cellphone. "Hosea, phone call for you."

"Who?"

"It's John."

Hosea’s eyes light up. "Oh! Bring it here."

"Uncle John!" Isaac cheers.

Bessie comes over and hands Hosea the phone. She heads back in to retrieve the pitcher she left behind.

Bringing the phone to his ear, Hosea greets his caller. "Hey, John! How are you doing?...I'm fine. I've got my boys here with me, and we've just finished dinner...Yes, it's Arthur and Isaac...Perfect? Why?...Oh!...Well, that's great!...A cookout? Sure!...Yeah, I'll tell them, It'll be great...Oh, sure, tell Abigail and Jack that we say 'hi!'...Bye now!"

And he hangs up.

And Arthur’s curiosity is piqued. "So, what did golden boy John have to say?"

"John and his band are going to be going on their first tour, and are having a cookout to say goodbye."

Arthur lifts his brow. He had figured things would take a while before John and his band ever gained popularity. "That quick, huh?"

Hosea shrugs. "Well, it was only a few weeks ago that The Outlaws signed their contract with that record label, whatever its name was."

Arthur remembers, nodding his head. "The music executive's name was Trelawny."

"That's right. He was in showbusiness, before switching, right?"

Arthur shrugs. "Something like that."

Hosea waves it off, it isn’t that important to the conversation right now. "Anyway, the cookout is this Sunday. It will be a small gathering."

"How is Abigail taking all this?"

"As well as can be expected. She's always been worried about John."

True. Ever since high school, Abigail has always done her best to keep the rebellious John in line, but that doesn’t mean that she never had a rebellious streak, either. "Well, she's supported his dream all these years. Balancing her nursing career, raising a son, and a husband, can be challenging at times,” Arthur laughs.

"Don't be so hard on John. He's like a brother to you."

Arthur lifts up his hands, surrendering the jokes for now. "Yeah, I know."

After a moment, Hosea points at Arthur, a gleam in his eye. "You know, that could be you."

Arthur snorts, "I don't think I want to be in a band. I like playing guitar, but–"

"No, not that, married."

Arthur pauses for a moment. Then he covers part of his face with his hand as he leans into it. "You're worse than Mama."

"I mean it, Arthur. That could be a good thing for you. You've gotten more grumpy in your old age."

Arthur removes his hand, leaning back in his chair. "Me? Old? I'm thirty-six, and still younger than you."

"And I'm wiser, so listen to your old man, would you?"

Arthur looks at Isaac and sees the discomfort on his face. Hell, he should have been more attentive instead of being absorbed in his own thoughts. "Isaac, why don't you go see what your grandma is up to?"

"Okay!" He quickly gets up, eager to get away from the conversation.

After a moment or two, Hosea starts the conversation back up again. "So, what's the deal with his treatment?"

Arthur sighs. It is as good a time as any. "Doctors say his cancer is back."

Hosea nearly loses the color in his face. He and Bessie have been hoping that the treatments would be over after his surgery, the boy can only take so much. "Dear God, no."

Arthur tucks his chin, sighing. "Yeah, Eliza has taken it hard. We only have this new treatment to try. He was in a program at the hospital where he had school stuff to do. Eliza has taken a lot upon herself and won't ask for help."

"Why don't we help?"

"I was going to ask you and Mom, actually. He needs a place to be when he isn't in the hospital. Eliza has been working."

Hosea holds up a hand. "Say no more. What days does he need to come here?"

"Well, there is the matter of his treatment–"

"We can handle it. Just show us what to do.”

This makes things a lot easier. He should never have doubted his parents and their willingness to help. "Okay, I have a booklet that has detailed instructions."

"Fine." Hosea rises to his feet, groaning as his knees give a soft pop. "Now, let's see what Bessie is up to, hmm?"

Hosea leads the way back inside and they find Bessie and Isaac playing in the living room together, all distracted and happy, as it should be.

Thank you for reading! 🤠

Tag Requests:

@photo1030 @moeitsu

[mikailys]

F: Am I disturbing you, by any chance?

i see this goddamn man and i lose it istg i want to punch him so bad.

i was trying to catch up with hsl on my other acc where i'm following nath's route and i saw the devil. i just hoped to never see him again in-game and yet here we are.

and oh my. wasn't i lucky enough to meet him again not once, but twice in the same episode, in the span of 5 minutes.

i'll just do a rant about this part of the episode because it's unbelivable that this is the only part i got covered before my ap brutally finished i only wanted the illus :(

also sorry if i'm being inaccurate in certain parts but i got back into the game recently and probably forgot some background info/context.

F: Nathaniel has always wanted to study Engineering at University.

N: *not very amused by it – comprehensibly*

i had no idea that during hsl ep40 he would attend the graduation ceremony – or maybe he did and nvm i don't remember it i mean it's been 5 years since i've last played it – and he had the guts to still impose himself and talk about nath like that. after everything that happened and with all the parents, kids and professors around?

god. like haven't you learned anything, have you, dumb fuck?

N: I have to stop by my parents' house because I need to take some stuff. But seeing how the wind is blowing, I don't really want to go there alone.

another thing i wouldn't have imagined is that we would actually go back to this old house. i can only predict where this is heading.

N: This house holds only bad memories.

C: Don't worry. I'm with you.

N: Yeah, thanks God. *cutely smiles*

bambolottino che sei ti abbraccio patatino cucciolino :(

and then we enter into his house and meet – again, unfortunately – that amazing person his dad is, who is never, ever satisfied and he can kindly go fuck off for as far as i'm concerned.

F: What was that foolish act you delight us with during the ceremony? (...) You understood very well. I'm talking about your speech. We have come to expect the best from you.

C: (Nathaniel takes a deep breath, to handle his increasing anger)

F: I wonder if you have anything left of what we taught you to make such a scene.

N: Dad, you really want to talk about what you taught me?

exactly f-word, do we wanna talk about what you and your lovely wife taught him? to always achieve perfection? to be scared to walk through the front door and spend the evening at the dining table with his family? cause, believe me, i wouldn't be so proud.

i guess we have different ideas about these so-called "teachings" you two gave him then.

anyway we leave with nath and then the most incredible thing happens. our soon-to-be father-in-law – omg bless candy's soul – calls us thieves. lol.

it's pure comedy at this point.

F: Don't play the innocent. I caught you in the act, you're peeking around. It's a hobby, right? For you to just stick your nose where you shouldn't.

well first i'm pissed you're thinking i'm a thief and second, i'm even more pissed because you're kinda right, snooping in people's business is actually candy's job so can't really argue on that.

C: I wonder what could I even stole in this house.

F: I don't know. You tell me. *damn chill bro*

C: Maybe your house is very big, but it lacks of the most important things.

anyway it's so funny that in italian - the language i'm playing the game in - he just keeps using the formal pronouns and i say it's funny because it seems like that behind his serious tone he's constantly trying to mock us in a kinda patronizing way.

but we're the bigger person and, even if i'm seething we can't be too unpolite to him, so we just tell him that his house sucks because there's no love within its walls.

politest person ever.

but spoiler he doesn't take it very well.

anyway to sum it up, he just says candy is responsible for nath's sudden change and for making himself look ridiculous in front of the whole school.

obviously we don't support any nathaniel's slander, for now, and we are ready to take over this insane situation by praising our bf who was right down the hallway, listening to this all madness.

N: None of this will make me look better in my father's eyes.

damn. that kinda hit close to my home too

after this argument we leave since we're good to go. but on the doorstep we're blocked by the best of wives and best of women (derogatory) who, unexpectedly, wants us to stop by and celebrate the graduation with the family – oh my.

okay i'm not gonna lie but for a millisecond i felt bad for adelaide. only a millisecond 'cause then i quickly regained consciousness.

i appreciate she's understanding the situation and that she still cares about her son wellbeing – in some twisted way – but i cannot excuse she was an accomplice to her husband's mistreating and beating and the fact she wouldn't report any of it if it wasn't for candy it's gutwrenching.

regardless, nath doesn't want to spend another minute in that house – understandably. when they're about to leave, adelaide takes candy by her arm and tells her to please keep an eye on his son and we, taken by an unusual kindness, accept, encouraging her to pay him a visit.

how sweet candy is.

just like a candy i'm so sorry but it was served on a silver plate

and after that we're done. nath takes us back to our home and asks us if the day after we want to go to his place, since we have never been there before – which it takes me by surprise cause i can't believe you two have been together for almost 14 episodes and you have never found a moment to go to his house before.

candy tells him that first she has to ask to his parents – but we already know she will go cause they have to do the deed – and that's all cause i finished my ap right after this dialogue :|

this ep with the new – not very new now but for me it still is – ap mechanic is exhausting. 550 ap just to fight with nath's parents really did the thing and i still couldn't finish the ep.

to think i still have to continue university life and start love life haha...

anyway to conclude: fuck nath's parents 🖕🏻

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

I've been thinking about The Zone of Interest and how its formalist approach is used to to add another layer of meaning to the story or it might actually be the only way through which the story could be understood.

It boils down to stylistic elements like sound editing, shot composion and editing. Perhaps it's easier to understand if I talk about it in opposition to Old Hollywood techniques, but it's more or less the same for current mainstream Hollywood anyway. There's that thing of ''invisible editing'' or more exactly continuity editing. It's made in such a way that the viewer forgets there's cuts in the scene they're watching, creating this illusion of realism in a way. As an audience, we get immersed into the story, without consciously noticing how it's made. Formalist theory in cinema comes in opposition to that, particularly in the second half of the 20th century (French New Wave is a perfect example of playing and changing all the rules).

But coming back to The Zone of Interest, frame composition and editing are done in a way that become not only visible if we pay attention, but they represent the core of it. Almost the entire film is made of full and wide shots, the close-ups are quite rare and the camera is fixed. Apart from one scene in which the camera is following a character in a tracking shot, it's almost always still and from a multitude of angles. It is most visible in the house in which the characters live, with cameras in various places of each room (I think Glazer actually said they added cameras all over the place without any crews around so they captured everything the actors were doing in those spaces, without knowing how they were shot. The had hundreds of hours of footage for editing). This, paired with multiple cuts, shows a deliberate distancing from the characters. It not only brings forth the technicality of the medium, but through that, it reveals the artificiality of the life that is being built there. In a way, we're refused the oportunity to immerse ourselves in something that is actually grotesque and very far from a somewhat idylic or banal life.

Arendt's banality of evil concept has been used for film interpretation many times and has been brought to attention again with The Zone of Interest, but I think it's been misused. There's never the illusion that as evil as it is, those characters are leading a banal life. They are aware that they are trying to build what they consider extraordinary, a new world, one which is adjacent to the horrors that are happening behind the wall that separates them. A wall that that even with the flowers next to it, cannot in any way ''help'' in creating that mundane life because the separation is impossible and the characters are aware of it. It's done very well through sound mixing because its purpose is to reveal the violence auditory. It's constant, day and night, seemingly not affecting those behind the wall, except it does through the constant revving of a motorcycle engine meant to muffle the screaming. There's intent on part of the characters to hide what has it deemed as having no place in their life in that little courtyard with a pool, while through camera angles and sound we're made aware of what is peaking from above or what can be heard constantly. The characters might try to compartmentalize and choose when to engage, but as an audience, we are not in that position.

[maddieautobot273]

Silk & Cologne (16)

A Miguel O’Hara x OC Series - Link to AO3 (X)

Chapter 16 - Normal

Pairing: Miguel O’Hara x Female OC

Words: 2.4K+ words

Warnings: PG but no major warnings for this one! 

Summary: Lisa tries to move past what happened the night of the attack, but can’t deny that things are changing. 

//////

It’s been about a week now since the apartment attack. There hadn’t been any news from Earth-1997 so it was business as usual for the Spider-Society again. Miguel would monitor the multiverse for any signs of anomaly activity, send in a team to deal with it or lead his own team personally. Whenever I was present when Gwen or Hobie or Peter B. would get the call to join in on a mission, my eyes always sparkled with wonder when a portal opened up and I watched them run through. I became curious what the other dimensions would look like. 

Maybe if I trained enough, I would get to be a part of all this? 

But whenever I’d catch Miguel staring at me, noticing the wonder in my eyes, there was an expression that he made that I couldn’t quite decipher. But I knew it was something along the lines of too dangerous. I had previously asked Peter B. what fighting in other dimensions was like, and he said if it weren’t for Miguel’s invention of the Gizmos or day passes, your atoms would break apart bit by bit, slowly killing you. 

“Your atoms don’t exactly feel too jazzed about being in another dimension,” as he once put it. 

Miguel had also briefly explained the process to me the other day during one of our work out sessions. He said that I was almost about to experience the “glitch” process myself while Spider-Doc was tending to my wounds after he and Peter B. first rescued me. When I realized it all, it started to make a little more sense. 

Now I understood the look in Miguel’s eyes a bit better. He didn’t want me to get myself killed. Understandably, I knew where he was coming from. I’m still fresh with my powers, despite my training and progress to control them. But I still had hope.

In between training sessions, I’d work on composing various routines like the one I displayed to Miguel during our mock battle. Just in case. Spider-Man had to actually start fighting villains eventually. Maybe not in my dimension, as per our agreement, but perhaps in Nueva York? Maybe another another dimension?

I had thought about asking Miguel to teach me how to fight, well, properly anyways. I knew with each Spider they had their own unique fighting style. I could mix my dance moves into my evasive maneuvers, but for my attacks? It could work, but be a little tricky. Which is why I need to learn some actual fighting moves. 

In between his Spider-Society duties, Miguel would take a little time out of each day to come visit me in my dimension and help me clean up my apartment. Some of the furniture was salvageable and easily repaired, while others weren’t as lucky. I could understand Miguel’s frustration when he tried helping me fix my bookshelf after I had gathered and cleaned up my toppled book collection. 

“Miguel, are you sure it goes that way?” I asked him as I read through the old instruction pamphlet I had saved from the movers. 

“Pretty sure,” he nodded firmly. “Any other way looks stupid,” 

I glanced back at the instruction manual, looking at the pictures of the display before looking back at the shelf. “Only if you’re sure,” 

“Lisa, really, I have a PHD in biology, engineering, physics, I think I know how to fix a bookshelf from IKEA,” He chuckled with a warm huff, his chest puffing up with pride as he worked. 

He carefully forced the piece in, snapping it in place. He wiped the sweat off his brow as he sat up. His holographic outfit was a blue tank top with beige cargo pants and white sneakers. He stepped back, admiring his work before looking over at me. 

“So?”

“I think you fixed it!” I beamed, smiling at him. “Now I can finally put these books away,” 

Until the board cracked, and toppled down, creating a domino effect that knocked over the other boards. My mouth gaped open at the sight, no words coming out. I glanced over to Miguel and I swear I could see his left eye twitching. 

He huffed, dropping the hammer on the floor. “That’s it, I’m buying you new furniture,” 

“Miguel, it’s okay, you don’t have to do that,” I spoke quickly, waving my hands frantically to try and ease him. “Besides, I can’t pay you back,” 

“Don’t worry about the money, really, it’s on me,” Miguel reached out and used his hand to gently pat my head, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. “Relájate y deja que yo me ocupe, mi Mona Lisa,” - Relax and let me take care of it, my Mona Lisa 

I raised a curious brow at the man as my hand gently caressed his. “How much are we talking here?”

“Lisa, don’t worry, really,” Miguel chuckled softly as his fingers latched on to my hand, squeezing them rightly as he lowered his hand from my head. “Besides, I already ordered everything and they’ll be delivered within a few days,” 

“¡¿QUÉ?!” I gawked at Miguel as he brushed past me, grabbing his water bottle. - What?!

“Did you just gawk at me in my mother tongue?” He smirked at me. 

“Well, with us spending a bit more time together, can you blame me for picking up on some phrases?” I crossed my arms at him. “How much was everything?”

He gave me a side eye as I watched him gulp down his water, the adam’s apple of his throat bobbing with each gulp. When he pulled away, he sighed deeply, the drink refreshing him as a small trail of water traveled down his chin and neck. “That’s classified,” 

I whined, telling me to cut me some slack. All he did was laugh at my reaction. 

“Maybe it hasn’t occurred to you that I’m doing this out of the kindness of my own heart?” I smirked. “Maybe because I simply want to?”

My cheeks turned a light shade of pink at the realization that he was going out of his way, willingly, to make me happy. I felt spoiled. 

“But–”

“No buts about it, my Mona Lisa,” He grinned as he gently flicked his finger on my forehead before leaning in closer to my face. “Suffer,”

That all happened yesterday and the butterflies still hadn’t gone away. I had noticed he only acted this way around me when it was just the two of us. While at the Spider-Society, he of course would still be nice to me and offer me warm glances every now and again, but he would always keep things professional while working with the other Spiders. In a sense, I understood the switch and actually agreed. 

There could be a million reasons as to why Miguel chose to act the way he did. I was just happy he felt okay to relax a little bit and let himself go around me. I decided the next time I saw Miguel, I’d put my foot down and ask him to teach me how to fight. 

Anything to try and get that hopeless feeling out of my body after what happened at the apartment. I could feel the pulse of my web fluid quaking in my wrists during that entire encounter. The way that evil Miguel, no– Chameleon, was his name, taunted me, toyed with me. Never again. I’ll never give another villain the satisfaction. 

These thoughts had been plaguing me for the last few days, most noticeably during dance practice. Most of the teams had broken off to practice their work in smaller studios throughout the building, while my team and another worked in the main studio. We were doing our warm ups to some of METRO’s other music when I faltered suddenly and missed a step. 

“Okay, time out,” Kasey spoke up suddenly, signaling to stop the music. “We need to host an emergency team meeting,”

Toya paused the music as Hannah reached out a gentle hand, helping me up to my feet. I smiled warmly at the gesture, silently thanking her. 

“Coach, we’re gonna take a 15 in the break room,” Kasey yelled over towards our coach who gave her a thumbs up as an acknowledgement of her request. 

“Come along, our fearless leader,” Kasey took my wrist and pulled me along as the five of us left the main studio. 

“What’s going on? Did I do something wrong?” I asked nervously. 

We entered the break room, Touga immediately making a b-line for the vending machines as his eyes wandered over the various snacks and drinks. Kasey sat me down on a chair while the others sat around me at a round table. 

“Something's been bothering you, Lisa,” Kasey stated. “What’s going on?”

“What do you mean?” I shrugged my shoulders, trying to appear as normal and calm as I could. “I’m fine,”

“No, you’re not, I think we’ve worked together long enough for me to tell the difference, Kendrick,” Kasey shot me a stern look but mixed a playful grin. 

“Did something happen?” Toya asked as his brother neared carrying an assortment of snacks and drinks. 

“You can tell us, Lisa,” Hannah pleaded gently, her blue eyes pouring into mine. “We won’t judge you,” 

I glanced around at their worried faces before I sighed in defeat. “I can’t hide anything from you guys, can I?”

They all shook their heads. 

I sighed again, my arms leaning against the table as I met their gazes. “Last week, there was a break in at my apartment,” 

“What?!” They all gasped, staring at me with wide eyes. 

“They didn’t take anything did they?” Hannah asked with worry as she placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. 

“No, but my apartment was and still is sort of trashed,” I sighed deeply as Touga handed everyone a snack bag and some water. He took pity on me and gave me an extra snack. “They weren’t trying to take something from the apartment. . .”

“What were they–” Touga began to speak until he stopped speaking mid-sentence, the realization hitting him as he sat down. 

“Oh shit, Lisa, I’m so sorry that happened to you,” Toya’s voice lowered with a sympathetic look in his eyes. 

“Why didn’t you tell us, girl?” Kasey asked. 

“I didn’t want me telling you guys to affect our team’s morale, and. . . I felt scared and ashamed that it happened,” I sighed, leaning back in my chair as I opened one of my snack bags and started munching on the mini pretzels. 

“You weren’t by yourself, were you?” Hannah asked with concern. 

I paused for a moment. If we created this ruse for the police, do I keep it going with my friends? I couldn’t lie and tell them that I was alone and make them even more fearful. But I couldn’t tell them the truth and say that Spider-Man from another dimension saved me. 

“No, I wasn’t,” I shook my head. “My. . . boyfriend saved me,” 

“Boyfriend?” Toya and Touga repeated at the same time, sounding surprised. 

Kasey nudged Toya’s side with her elbow to shut him up before looking back over towards me. “What exactly happened?”

“The attacker pinned me down and before he could do anything else, my boyfriend tackled him and told me to run. They got into a fight and the apartment got trashed in the process,” I explained softly. 

“So he sent the creep packing, mad respect,” Touga nodded his head with an approving look in his eyes as Toya mimicked the gesture. 

I smiled gently at them. I very much approved as well. 

“Well we’re glad that you’re alright, Lisa,” Kasey smiled warmly. “From now on, no more keeping secrets from us, alright? We’re a team, you know,”

“Not just a team, we’re friends!” Hannah beamed as she hugged me. “Friends help each other out, right, boys?”

“Yeah! If that creep even thinks of showing his ugly mug again, give us a shout and we’ll show��em not to mess with you!” Toya stated as he punched the air. 

I looked out at my friends and I could feel a warm bubbly sensation come over me as I looked at their smiling faces. “You guys are amazing, you know that?”

“What are friends for?” Kasey grinned. 

“Hey, there’s this new ramen shop that opened not too far from here. We should all go after practice today,” Touga offered. 

Hannah smiled, clapping her hands together. “That is a wonderful idea!”

I smiled at my friends as we moved on to other bits of conversations during the remainder of our break, munching on our snacks. It felt good knowing I had another group of people I could trust that I knew would have my back. A group of friends that I didn’t need to travel to another dimension just to see. 

///////

Earth-423 

Princess Petra soared through the air on her web sling, her silk skirt of her dress retracting into a shorter one as the web fabric silk morphed into her spider suit. The moon was full out that night as the silk of her webs glowed in the moonlight. Her spider pet, Webster, clung tightly to her shoulder as she swung across her kingdom. 

She had sensed a disturbance with her Spider-Sense, as Petra made her way to the forest. She caught herself on a tree branch, hunching over as she hid herself within the leaves as she found her prey. 

A strange fiend appeared through a magical portal. It appeared to be some sort of animal, with razor sharp teeth, a long tongue and covered in this black goo. Why, this creature looked very similar to Venomilcent, a horrible beast that had plagued her kingdom in months passed. But this creature clearly wasn’t the monster she was familiar with. 

“Oh dear, Webster, I do believe the danger we were warned about is upon us now,” Petra groaned with worry as she glanced down at her spider friend. “Of all the days to leave behind that handy bracelet he gave me,” 

As much as she hated leaving the monster to roam free in the forest, Petra knew she wouldn’t be able to fight that thing along. She wouldn’t just need the help of the royal guard, no, she needed their help to stop it and send it back from whence it came. 

“Come on, Webster, we must hurry and summon Lord O’Hara and his Society of Spiders!” Petra swung back the way she came. 

Meanwhile, Venom was left to roam the forest, searching for fresh prey to feast on.

////

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[timtheowl26]

I always thought of something like this and I'm glad I'm not the only one.

I may be 20yo, but I want to stay.

I know... And I truly understand, why the IRS of the heavens had engineered our bodies to automatically prep itself for something I didn't ever wished for.

Even with just the thought of the two digits that signifies my current life cycle is enough to send shivers down my spine.

Nonetheless, "I'm old!" Is the only thing that I could ever say.

Without my consent, and without my control, WITHOUT ANYONE's CONTROL! Our minds and our way of thinking had shifted from thoughts of "I wish fairies exist", "can I hug you Mommy", "I want to play all day, every day!", "I wish Daddy is always here with us." To thoughts that are the like of "I wish I had a blonde cute hot mommy elf girlfriend", "I got something else you can play with.", "He is such a Daddy.". At least, that's what I usually hear.

Again, I understand. I understand why an organism such as ourselves carries the irresistible will to pass ones genetic information onto another, I also understand why we had to lose such an incredibly precious, irreplaceable treasure as one of us walks along this gray, dark, and grimy path.

And to add more weight to all of it, nobody knows what lies beyond the path. No one.

But I'm not here to criticize or loath to anything. As a matter of fact, I may even call it a celebration.

For what we have felt in those earliest years where real, honest, truer than truth, beyond beautiful, once in a lifetime, undescribable, but most importantly, lived.

I had looked within myself, my past, and my memories. No matter how much I am willing to trade anything for the likes of those years, one thing has made itself very clear.

I owned it, and it is I who will carry these memories with me, it is only I who will remember who my Hilda, Frida, and David are, it is I who shared simple spoils with them and exchanged genuine words with.

It is only I who gets to wake up from an afternoon nap and then have a tasty meal afterward.

It is only I who got to call my friends on a weekend to play video games.

After all these years, I understood. this it is still me... After all these years, it's still you. Despite of all the changes, it's still us.

We're still here.

We never left.

“Hot girl summer” NO. Give me magical whimsical adventure summer. Give me Hilda summer. Gravity Galls Summer.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE PLEEEEEASE

[jdgo51]

I Can’t but God Can

Today's inspiration comes from:

The Power to Change

by Craig Groeschel

"'My first car — an old Buick Century — was the “Sport Coupe” model. It said so right under the spoiler. Or it had before the accident. The guy who’d fixed it painted “Turbo Coupe” instead of “Sport Coupe.” Whaaa? My Sport Coupe was now a Turbo Coupe? Yes!! A Turbo Coupe had a turbocharged engine! Way. More. Power.

Despite what it said on the back of my car, my Buick Century did not really have more power.

Because willpower doesn’t work, you and I really require more power. We can think we’re a Turbo Coupe, but we’re still just a Sport Coupe.

Paul’s Need for God’s Power

Paul knew he needed more power. That’s why he asked in Romans 7:24,

Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? — NLT

That is the question we all need to answer.

But Paul answered his own question with his next sentence in verse 25:

Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. — NLT

Paul understood, I can’t get myself unstuck, so I need a power I don’t possess. The power he found was Jesus. Paul discovered, I can’t. But God can.

Discovering that same truth transformed my life.

My Need for God’s Power

I finally realized I couldn’t do what I couldn’t do because I was trying in my power. Then I learned how to turn to God and access His power. It worked. He worked! I could do what I couldn’t do — by His power. I could stop doing what I couldn’t stop doing — by His power.

“Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord.”

It was all God. God’s power.

The good news is that the same power that helped Paul and helped me is available to you. Actually, this is more accurate: the same power that got Jesus out of a grave, resurrected from death to life, is available to you.

When we’re at our worst, God’s love is at its best.

Your Need for God’s Power

Let’s look at something Paul wrote in another of his letters:

As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins. — Ephesians 2:1

Wow. The reality is, we don’t just feel stuck, we are stuck. Worse than stuck, we are dead.

Have you noticed dead people don’t have a lot of power? Ask a dead person to help you carry a heavy box or arm wrestle. Not gonna happen. Dead people don’t have a lot of power. And we are dead. Powerless.

That’s discouraging. But Paul provided some hope-inducing truth.

I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe Him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead. — Ephesians 1:19–20 NLT

The same power God used to raise Jesus from the dead is available to you! If you feel dead in some area of your life, you don’t need to stay dead. Why? Because resurrection power is available to you. If you feel stuck, you don’t need to stay stuck. Think about it. If God can get Jesus unstuck from death in a grave, He can certainly get you unstuck.

In the next chapter of Ephesians, Paul wrote,

But God is so rich in mercy, and He loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, He gave us life when He raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!) — Ephesians 2:4–5 NLT).

There are several Bible passages, like this one, that describe how we’ve messed things up and gotten stuck. Reading them, you can start to feel depressed, but then this amazing word appears — “but.”

But God

You’ve probably never been thankful for God’s “but.” But you should. Because when God puts His “but” into your situation, it changes everything.

What was is no longer what is because “but God.”

What’s behind you is not what’s ahead of you because “but God.”

Your past doesn’t have to be your future because “but God.”

We were dead, “but God” gave us life, new life, in Jesus. Why?

Because God is “rich in mercy” and “loved us so much.”

Paul then described God’s grace. Grace means to get the opposite of what you deserve. God loves us in spite of us, not because of us. He loves us not because of what we do but because of who He is.

When we’re at our worst, God’s love is at its best.

Paul wrote that because of God’s grace, you have been “saved.” Saved is a verb. You can write a verb in past, present, future, or perfect tense.

Past tense speaks of something that has already happened.

Present tense describes something happening right now.

Future tense refers to something that will happen eventually but hasn’t yet.

Perfect tense speaks of something that has happened in the past, is still happening in the present, and will continue in the future. It draws attention to the continuing effects of something that has happened in the past.

Paul wrote “saved” in perfect tense! You were saved by God’s grace in the past, but the effect is still happening. His grace is always going to impact your life. God will continue giving you new life in your dead places until his work is complete in you.

You never have to feel defeated.

You can never give up.

Because God didn’t just save you. He saves you. He is constantly saving you.

You can’t, but God can. And God will, if you turn to His power.

Adapted from The Power to Change: Mastering the Habits That Matter Most by Craig Groeschel.

[progressivemother]

Our anniversary (10 years together)

So it's been ten years! Wow. There is so much that we have endured and learned during this time. I am not a marriage or relationship expert by any means but I love to share our journey. We were entirely different people and definitely considered to be mismatched but I believe that through our trials together, we have grown into who we are supposed to be.

We got married at 18 years old, rented a home, amd had a baby all within a year. Things were stressful amd we barely had money. We had to struggle through. We are much better off now but the beginning was hard.

We've had the autonomy to grow and evolve over the years as individuals, while supporting one another’s metamorphosis along the way, falling in love with each version, each iteration that we’ve been. We still have our own interests, hobbies, and preferences. We’ve maintained individual identities apart from us as a couple, but at the same time, we’d love doing most things together. Over the years we have supported each other.

We had no idea of what would be in store for us; marriage to debating divorce, babies to children, moves to military and businesses. Through it all, we've honored each other and understood that we are on the same team even though we are individuals.

The most important factor in any relationship is friendship. Having a strong friendship is an important foundation for a strong marriage. With friendship, you already know each other's secrets and flaws but even then it can be difficult. The first year of marriage is hard. Many people want to quit. You see more flaws that annoy you. Even the flaws you already knew about irritate you. You struggle in the first year to get into a routine that fits your current life and understand that those flaws are apart of your spouse that you have to learn to love.

Marriage is made of a million little moments, and comparatively few big moments. Everyone has this idea that it is the big moments that matter most. That isn't true. The everyday things matter more. The kiss good morning, the smile hello, the what-can-I-get-you-dear, the casual touch on the arm, even the angry moments. You will get angry at each other. I have been angry at my husband for the dumbest things. Last time were were upset with each other, it was actually something extremely minor. A lot of times, you will end up laughing about it.

Marriage always evolves over time along with you and your spouse. Things have to be re thought and re engineered. We do it together. We get to know each other again every ten years or so. People change. It's part of life. It's apart of marriage. Just because we change, doesn't mean we aren't meant for each other. We haven't given up and we still love each other very much. It doesn't matter how much we change.

Plans will never go exactly the way you want them to. Our plans don't always go exactly the way we want them to. Our grand schemes for our perfect marriage, our house, our children, etc. We all have plans and we think they will come true. It's fun for my husband and I to look back at the great plans and compare how it actually turned out. It's great to laugh about.

So make plans and dream about how your life will look but remember that reality has a way of making things work out differently. You life will never be perfect amd exactly the way you want it to be. Marriage can be hard. People change. You can plan for a family but you cannot force a pregnancy. You can plan a beautiful home but the way architecture works will not always bend to your ideas. Just remember that life may not always be as perfect as it is in your mind but it will be perfect for you if you accept and work at life.

[labrats-and-clonetroopers]

"Vision" - Part 1

Masterlist ; Star Wars Masterlist ; Lab Rats/Mighty Med/Elite Force Masterlist 

LR/MM/EF x Star Wars [Ahsoka Tano/Chase Davenport] Masterlist 

Request Guidelines 

______________________

Synopsis: A contact proposes an unconventional solution to Darth Plagueis' worries.

Fandoms: Star Wars [Mix of Legends & Disney Canon]; Lab Rats/Mighty Med/Elite Force

A/N: Written to fulfill the Douglas Davenport & Darth Plagueis option in this poll. However, Douglas only ended up being alluded to. There will be additional parts to this that move onto other characters: Armida Davenport (OC), Captain Atomic, Arjav Venul (OC), and possibly others, but since I like to keep my tumblr posts short, I will post them all separately, and combine them into a single one shot on Ao3 when finished.

________________________

Circa 38 BBY (1996)

Knowledge is power. Ignorance is weakness. The unknown is dangerous to those who survive in the shadows, behind the curtains of the civilized world. An environment the Sith of the Rule of Two have mastered as their domain. All trespassers examined, understood, conquered, and sometimes, eliminated. There are no immovable stones for those who give themselves fully to the Dark Side. 

That is their reality, until it isn’t. 

Darth Plagueis studies the man, if that is an appropriate classification, as he has many times before. As Darth Tenebrous did before him. The man who stands immovable, and bold, before the Dark Lords of the Sith. 

He’s using the name Waylon, but he changes them out in fashion every forty years or so. Red herrings for the peculiarity that his body, near-human with light skin, black hair, and scales on his lower back, never ages. 

His eyes are always so empty. 

That’s the only thing Plagueis ever discovered about him that Waylon didn’t tell him directly. After trying to dispose of the man by cutting off his head, only for it to instantly regenerate, he’d tried to break the man’s iron mind again. Ramming it with the full force of the Dark Side, and only wounding himself. Waylon was impenetrable. But one truth he did realize, trying to wrap his mind around the other’s, was that the man was not really the man. This body was a puppet on strings. Whatever sentience of its own that it may have once possessed had been hollowed out long ago, controlled by a distant being. 

The being now calling itself Waylon is unknowable; immovable. Casually interested, for unknown motives, in the affairs of the two Sith Lords, one now deceased. 

Darth Plagueis cannot move him. But he can use him. 

“You are proposing something beyond what even the Kaminoans could conceive.” 

Waylon draws another puff of smoke from his cigar. “Naturally.”

“You know of a more advanced engineer. The one who designed the body you’re using.” 

Waylon looks amused, smiling in a way that makes his mouth look unnaturally wide, stretched beyond what the skin would normally allow. “A unit like this would not suit your purposes. More likely aggravate your concerns. It’s such an old design anyways. Brilliant for its time, but my kin have been stagnant in improvements. Their vision withered from lack of use; seeing only one kind of power.”

“Perhaps you overestimate my apprentice.”

“You’d be settling for a product mismatched to your needs. I thought you understood the subtleties of what truly creates the right advantage. Precision is more important than raw power.”

“What are you offering?”

“True innovation. You’d be only one of a group of clients, but I know you have the diplomacy to ensure your criteria is prioritized.”

The muun balks. “Such popularity is an unacceptable risk. The rumors…”

“Will not exist. They are bound to their solar system in a galaxy far beyond your hyperspace barrier.”

The man’s casual tone never altered, and he stands as relaxed as he did before, as if he did not just describe an impossibility. Plagueis’ eyes narrow. “Intergalactic travel between distant galaxies was only known to the ancients.”

“True, but not all the ancients had such short, mortal lives. Some still live on, the old familiar and dull to them, the modern obscure and intriguing.” He smiles. “That’s why I like you, Damask. You understand the need to evolve.”

Plagueis withholds his belief. “For one who implies to be daring, you seem quite comfortable in the vague.”

“Secrets shouldn’t be scattered freely like grain, but nurtured and reserved for those who can truly cultivate their potential.” 

“And why would you bestow me with such a gift?”

“Because this engineer is going to build a weapon that will send tremors throughout the universe, and he needs someone who will have the vision to use it.”

[grapefruitspit]

In broad outline, my central intuition was that AI's whole mentalist foundation is mistaken, and that the organizing metaphors of the field should begin with routine interaction with a familiar world, not problem-solving inside one's mind. In taking this approach, everything starts to change, including all of the field's most basic ideas about representation, action, perception, and learning. When I tried to explain these intuitions to other AI people, though, I quickly discovered that it is useless to speak nontechnical languages to people who are trying to translate these languages into specifications for technical mechanisms. This problem puzzled me for years, and I surely caused much bad will as I tried to force Heideggerian philosophy down the throats of people who did not want to hear it. Their stance was: if your alternative is so good then you will use it to write programs that solve problems better than anybody else's, and then everybody will believe you. Even though I believe that building things is an important way of learning about the world, nonetheless I knew that this stance was wrong, even if I did not understand how. I now believe that it is wrong for several reasons. One reason is simply that AI, like any other field, ought to have a space for critical reflection on its methods and concepts. Critical analysis of others' work, if done responsibly, provides the field with a way to deepen its means of evaluating its research. It also legitimizes moral and ethical discussion and encourages connections with methods and concepts from other fields. Even if the value of critical reflection is proven only in its contribution to improved technical systems, many valuable criticisms will go unpublished if all research papers are required to present new working systems as their final result. Another, more subtle reason pertains to AI's ambiguous location between science and engineering. A scientific theory makes truth-claims about the preexisting universe, and so it is generally considered legitimate to criticize someone else's theory on grounds of methodological weakness, fallacious reasoning, lack of fit with the evidence, or compatibility of the evidence with other theories. Engineering design methods, on the other hand, make claims in the context of practical problems, and so the legitimate criticisms relate solely to issues of utility.

When I first started trying to reform AI, I believed in revolutions. It seemed to me that I could clear the ground completely and start over, working out a whole alternative intellectual system that would replace everything that was there before. The concept of a generative metaphor seemed to hold out particular promise in this direction, given that so much of the underlying substantive problem with AI really can be understood as expressing a single principle, mentalism as opposed to interactionism. It seemed as though one could throw away the old foundation, and everything on top of it, and start over.

-Philip E. Agre, Toward a Critical Technical Practice: Lessons Learned in Trying to Reform AI. 1997.

static online version here

[source-of-support]

The Engine Driver

Forgive an introspected, old-souled man a fancy way of writing.

I’ve come to the threshold that I must contend with my burdens I’ve carried.

Sacrifice is required. To do away with the best in me as I see it for the sake of understanding. giving understanding rather than duplicating it. There will never be another me to take up my words as I put them down. I don’t necessarily want another being like me in the first place.

I do however wish that I can change my mannerisms so that I can be included in the ranks of the understood.

Finding the words to convey my mind is unimportant. Only I can see as I see given the limitations of language. I don’t want to interpolate my words into another. Given a child of my own with a family to upbring them, I would not want such a thing as giving understanding as I understand it.

I want to convey this at the outset of my new, appreciated relationship with others.

I’ve been trying to in essence describe multivariable differential calculus where all the moving parts are explained and retain un-pinnable relationships.

I’ll lead you through a smoll non-verbatim portion of one such wandering meandering of an attempt at ‘communicating’ to others ‘important’ thoughts I’ve had.

AI is neutral.

AI can be used for ill.

AI isn’t regulated. It’s the fucking wild west.

A good AI with a gun cannot beat a bad AI with a gun.

There will always be another AI with a gun doing gatekeeping for our resources of knowledge.

There’s multivariable calculus I attempt to solve somewhere in here.

The result? No one cares because eggheaded shit isn’t fun to read and so I speak to no one and waste away pondering my writing style as I write ineffectually.

I don’t know and can’t appreciate the way others do. I get lost in the mindset of the writer. I see into the depths implied. I cannot write like I read. I read too well.

I take bold risks in ‘assuming’ what is intended to find, almost like scientific hypothesis, what is meant. and further, what isn’t written but *could be* that would bring out the truth of the subject and its implications on the All as it were, the one truth that all else mimic.

My baby ass hands would not understand what brings my understanding at the end of a movie or the ahh-ha moment of a good riddle. I can’t reverse engineer that hard.

So I spend my days pondering rolling memorizing writing down things and perceptions I have. I do have a project in the works that takes time. And it is this that I revolve around atm.

It’s simple and it’s complex in its simplicity.

Good night.

[seokgyuu]

→ genre: smut, college au, crack → pairing: Wonwoo x Afab!Fem!Reader, Seungkwan x Afab!Fem!Reader → synopsis: you have never been a person who turns down a challenge, but when your best friend challenges you to hook up with 13 boys in one semester you kind of wish you were.

→ warnings: public sex, voyeurism, dirty talk, sub!seungkwan, spitting, fingering, handjobs, unprotected sex (pls don't be like y/n in this, be smart), noona use in a sexual way (help)

→  word count: 8.4k (a long one with two smut scenes!!)

previous ; masterlist ; next

A/N: hi! it hasn’t been 2 months yet!! aren‘t you all so proud? anyway, after a long fight with my old laptop that I sadly lost, I have now bought a new one and am severely broke BUT i can at least write and forget about that for a second. I hope you guys enjoy this monster of a chapter with one pretty big surprise that may or may not have been expected. Tell me what you think after in a message or a reply <3

taglist: @ariachavez168 @listxn @tea-and-regrets (if you wanna be added pls reply or send me a message!)

It was pretty clear from here on now that you were an idiot. The second you had said yes to seeing Mingyu again… it was over for you. Not the challenge or your determination to finish it, but the actual strength to leave him once you’ve met up to, well, do whatever you did, and then going to find a new person to seduce for your scheme.

Jiwoo had her own opinion about it and was very vocal about it, too. Everyday you would see her, she would give you that look, paired with a shake of her head and a “you are so screwed”, making you roll your eyes at her every time. It wasn’t like she was wrong. You just really didn’t want to hear her say how fucked you were.

Meanwhile, Jiwoo had finished her third task with a boy named Daehyeon from the engineering program and you were still clueless as to who you should hook up with next. Not to mention that Jiwoo had not allowed Mingyu to count as more than one guy just because you had found yourself in his bed the last three nights. You understood and accepted this, but you also truly hated the verdict. Because this meant you had to sleep with someone else while kind of seeing Mingyu. Even though you weren’t really seeing Mingyu. It was all a big old mess and you felt a strange relief when Mingyu texted you that he was gonna be away for the weekend.

“This means you can finally find another guy. Maybe two. Time is slowly running out, you know”, Jiwoo said once you’ve told her, both of you sitting on the floor of the university’s library, books scattered around you. It was close to midterms now and you had to study extra hard for this one stupid exam you had moved and moved time and time again because of how much you just didn’t wanna write it.

“Or I could just use this time to actually study, you know,” you mumbled as a response as your eyes scanned your page of notes. Jiwoo shrugged.

“Sure. If you are up for losing.”

Sighing, you leaned your head back against the shelve and closed your eyes for a second before looking back at your best friend who was writing something down on her iPad.

“You know, maybe I should. Lose, I mean. This whole thing is slowly getting out of my control and I do not like it.”

“Well, that does sound like a problem you could easily fix. For example, if you’re so scared about the boys you fuck knowing each other… just go clubbing and get someone there. Don’t limit yourself to the boys here, especially since I don’t have to approve of anyone anymore.”

You looked at her for a few seconds before taking one of your pens and throwing them at her.

“Hey!”

“Why did you only come up with this idea now, huh? Are you kidding me?”

Jiwoo’s expression changed from annoyed to a grin. Now it was her who shrugged, clicking her tongue as she put her iPad to the side and leaned forward to face you.

“Is it really my fault you didn’t think of this yourself, y/n?” she asked, tilting her head to the side. You felt your cheeks heat up and quickly you shook your head, looking down at your notes again. God, sometimes she was just so incredibly annoying. Instead of answering her, you just continued, opening one of the books to your side and ignoring her chuckle as she also went back to work.

The two of you were just finishing up, putting all the books back to where they belonged, when you suddenly heard a voice behind you.

“Y/N?”

You turned around, books still pressed to your chest, and almost dropped them all when you saw who had been calling for you. Oh no. This was really the last thing you needed right now.

“W-Wonwoo, hey,” you stuttered, clearing your throat as your face began to burn. Where was your confidence now, huh? He could have not picked a worse moment than this, you with your thoughts all over the place, your whole appearance a mess, hair sticking out of your ponytail and your jeans a little to big, hanging on your body in the most unflattering way. Still, the way he looked at you, with a strange sense of affection and maybe even yearning, you figured he did not feel the same way about your appearance today. Great.

“How have you been?” he asked then, hands awkwardly in the pockets of his jeans. You swallowed the lump in your throat and nodded slowly, thinking carefully about what to say.

“I’ve been well, just busy. I have to take this exam and I feel like I will never be as prepared as I probably should be, so. Yeah… what about you?”

Jesus, this felt horrible. You felt horrible. You had treated him like a used tissue, throwing him away the second you had finished and now he was standing in front of you, talking to you when you knew it was probably hurting him one way or another.

“I’ve been busy too, tournaments and deadlines… all that,” he explained, and you nodded, pressing your lips together. You wanted to ask whether they had found a person to fill your spot but you didn’t find the courage to actually ask.

“I see. Well, I-,”

“Look, I know you said you don’t want a relationship and I respect that, but I just want to know… why? Like why did you go through all of this, had sex with me and then bailed? Did I- did I do something wrong?”

Oh god. Oh no. This was not good. In fact, it was probably the worst thing to ever happen to you. Yes, you asked yourself a very similar question. Why did you have to do that to him? This genuine nice guy with the cute curly hair and the specks on his nose that were slightly crooked. He, who probably never did what you had made him do, had probably read all of this in a completely wrong way and had been left broken hearted, texting his friends about you and wanting to know what he had done wrong. Fuck, you were horrible. The absolute worst.

“Wonwoo,” you began, but stopped because you didn’t know what to say. Your eyes met his and he looked so vulnerable you wanted to slap yourself in the face. Taking a deep breath, you put the remaining books pressed to your chest onto the shelf next to you and dried your sweaty hands off on your over sized white shirt.

“First of all, you didn’t do anything wrong. This is all on me, I swear. You are wonderful and sweet and hot and I am just… not right for you.” Or anyone, you added in your head. Wonwoo frowned a little bit and took a step towards you, making you back up closer against the shelve.

“I don’t get it. Why would you make that decision for me? Isn’t it my call to make if you’re right for me or not?” He asked, scanning your face with his cat like eyes and you felt yourself holding your breath. Your brain tried hard to come up with an explanation, but all you could think about was the truth and you could never ever expose that. Not to him at least.

“You just left the team and didn’t even really tell us why, tell me why. Do you know how bad I felt? I felt like I read everything wrong and made up the worst scenarios in my head, y/n. I was scared shitless, thinking that maybe you had changed your mind and felt like us sleeping together was a mistake and that maybe you felt pressured into it and-,”

“What? No, Wonwoo, I wanted to have sex with you. I really, really did. I just- god, I just felt like such an idiot, coming onto you like that, in the end I felt like I pressured you into it.”

It was bad. Horrendous. A straight up lie. And it was terrifying how easy it came off your lips. He had given you the best excuse, one that made actual sense. Judging by the way his eyes shifted, it had worked. Worry was now spread all over his face and suddenly he was even closer to you, his hand on your cheek and you felt like all your bones had been frozen because what the fuck was happening?

“Fuck, I didn’t even think of that. No, y/n, I wanted it too, the second you first walked into training I wanted you. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I wanted to do so many things to you and when you started flirting, when you sent me those messages, called me… I was all in, I promise.”

Now, why did these words make your heart flutter? Was it the way he was looking at you? The way his thumb was caressing your cheek? Or was it the way he was so close to you that you could feel his breath hitting your face, feel the warmth radiate off of him? This was bad. Really, really bad. You should move, leave the situation and him behind, tell him you were glad he had consented after all, but that this did not mean anything else was happening between you. And yet you couldn’t move. You were still frozen in place and only twitched when his thumb touched your bottom lip – if on purpose or not you weren’t too sure. All you knew was that once he realised it too, his eyes shot to your lips and your stomach did a flip that once it landed send pressure right down to your core. Vivid memories of you riding his dick on his chair were flooding your mind and you tried to send them away but to no avail. They were staying.

It didn’t help your case, that was for sure. You not moving away, you not telling him to stop and to leave you alone. Maybe, you thought, you were just too horny for your own well-being. Wonwoo didn’t say anything, but had his eyes still fixed on your lips, as his thumb started moving towards them again – only for you to do the single most stupid thing you could have possibly done once the tip of it touched your bottom lip once more.

Opening your mouth, you sucked in his thumb, your lips closing around it as your tongue swirled around the tip, making Wonwoo’s breath hitch in his throat.

“F-fuck,” he said and suddenly you were pressed against the shelve next to you, a book uncomfortably poking you. Not that you cared. Like, at all.

Jiwoo was here somewhere, as one of the last people with you and Wonwoo. The library was gonna close any second and of course you had gotten books from the very last corner where no one else ever got books from this time of the day. Because what else? How could it be any different?

Wonwoo was breathing hard against your face now, watching the way you kept on sucking on his thumb, the throbbing between your legs getting harder to ignore each second. And the way he looked at you, you were pretty sure his jeans were starting to get tight, too. The dark look in his eyes was not good for your mental strength, either. You did not remember him being this lustful and hot and bothered when you had fucked the first time, back then he was more submissive and just waiting for you to call the shots, obviously wanting you, but this was different, and it rubbed you the exactly right way. Just like suddenly the hand that had wandered between your legs, making you breathe in through your nose in surprise, eyes widening a bit as you continued to look at Wonwoo, who’s mouth parted a bit as he began rubbing circles on your clothed core.

The fact that anyone could walk around the corner and spot you only made this more exciting. Wonwoo now pulled his thumb out of your mouth, spit connecting your mouth and the tip and after a curse under his breath, he pressed his body against yours, lips crushing together. He immediately let his tongue slide over your lips, and you willingly let him inside, felt all of your body prickle with excitement as he explored your mouth and continued to rub against you. His kisses were hot and needy and now you could feel his erection against your thigh, his hand now leaving your core for a second to open the button of your jeans skilfully, zipper following right after. Once his hand slipped into your pants and underwear, you gasped into the kiss your arms now wrapped around his neck, your right leg instinctively lifting up to wrap around his thigh, giving him a better access to your core. Wonwoo then let his fingers slide through your wet folds, kissing you harder so you wouldn’t make any sound and you had never felt hotter in your life. Your pussy clenched around nothing, and you desired his fingers inside of you so bad that you wiggled your hips, causing him to somewhat chuckle against your lips before finally letting two of them slip into you. A bold move, but one you appreciated. Immediately, he began to finger fuck you to his best abilities with your jeans still on, but since they were too wide anyways it wasn’t that hard to do. His lips now travelled down your jaw and neck, and you pressed your lips together to somehow manage staying quiet with his long fingers inside of you.

“You’re so damn hot,” he whispered into your ear then once he was back up from your neck and you felt goosebumps all over your body, “so tight and needy for my fingers.” Shit, what had happened to him? Was this the same shy guy who’s cock you had rode, who had been so submissive towards you? Not that you were complaining, after all you also had two sides to yourself when it came to sex.

“What do you say, should I turn you around and fuck you real good?” and there it was, the first moan you couldn’t hold in and immediately his non-busy hand was on top of your mouth, his eyes darting at you.

“Shh, you have to keep quiet. Most of the people might be gone, but I think there is a part-timer here somewhere.” Yes, and Jiwoo. If she hadn’t left. Which you didn’t know. Your head was empty and there was only Wonwoo who’s suggestion was still ringing in your ears. Fuck in this library? With his hand on top of your mouth and only the sound of his cock mercilessly plunging into you filling the air? You clenched around his fingers and begged him with eyes to make it come true. Wonwoo smirked and you didn’t think that you had ever seen him do anything more attractive than this. Pulling his fingers out of you now, he used the now free hand to pull down your jeans fully, spinning you around as he also pulled down your panties, the hand on your mouth gone for a bit, and then you heard him playing with his own belt, opening it, and letting his pants fall to the floor shortly after. With your eyes closed, you felt your heart in your throat as you anticipated his next moves, once again supressing the urge to moan when you felt his cock lining up against your wet heat.

“God, I missed your pussy,” you heard Wonwoo whisper, and you hated the fact he was talking when you had to be quiet just as much as it drove you crazy. When he finally pushed into you, stretching your walls deliciously, you felt his hand back on your mouth, the other one now laying on your hips. Once he was fully pushed in, he gave your pussy some time to adjust – only to pull out completely and thrust back in with a force that not only made you, but the shelves shake as well. Your eyes sprung open wide, and you were back to wiggling your hips, but Wonwoo apparently didn’t care because he did the same thing twice in a row.

Yet, that was not the only thing making something like panic arise in your body. With your eyes now opened, you saw something you wish you hadn’t. The shelve in front of you wasn’t empty, but there was some space in front of your face and behind that, just opposite the shelve itself, the row next to the one you were in, stood a boy. A boy with a deeply red face and a parted mouth, who was staring right at you. He was wearing a name tag, so he had to be the part-timer Wonwoo had talked about and if it weren’t for him now changing his pace to fucking you fast and hard, you probably would have told him to stop. Your eyelids fluttered as you breathed hard against Wonwoo’s hand, saliva dropping out of it as you couldn’t keep your mouth closed. Your eyes were still on the boy who was staring back and once you’ve let your gaze wander off, you could clearly see he was not unaffected. His chinos were sporting a bulge and you felt your heart do a leap of excitement. He was turned on by this. And so were you. In the back of your mind, you remembered that in a situation like this it was important for all parties involved to consent, but you were pretty sure Wonwoo was not seen by the boy. All he could see was you. And so, without giving it another thought you tried to signal with your eyes that he should just do it. Get his hard one out and watch you. And the young man with the light brown hair widened his eyes even more once he understood. Still, he hesitantly pointed at his crotch, and you nodded, your eyes rolling back after because Wonwoo had taken another hard thrust, your knees getting weaker.

“Taking me so well, such a tight little pussy you have, baby,” he breathed and by the judge of how the brown-haired boy’s hands opened his jeans, he had heard too. You watched how they dropped to the floor and how he leaned against the bookshelf behind him, hand now inside his boxers as you held eye contact. Wonwoo, who was probably close to his climax as his thrusts kept getting sloppier, took his hand off your mouth and put it on your other hip, drilling into you now as if his life depended on it. Your lips were red and swollen from before and the boy stared at your face, you now biting your bottom lip hard as Wonwoo’s cock seemed to sink deeper and deeper into you. The boy’s hand movements were getting quicker, and you licked your lips looking at his hand, wishing you could get a sight of his cock, but not about to say anything because if he had felt comfortable with that he probably would have.

“I’m gonna cum-“, Wonwoo said, hips frantically searching his high and then, with one, two, three more thrusts, you felt him climaxing inside of you. He rode out his orgasm and you moved your hips against his, desperately wanting him to keep going, but he pulled out of you, only to come back with three fingers fucking you, your mouth hanging open as this time you could not keep a deep moan from escaping your throat. Hearing that, the librarian swallowed hard and felt his climax rush over him, eyes rolling back and head falling against the book behind him, cum shooting out his cock and right into his boxers. Seeing the wet spot and the way he looked so fucking beautiful – you finished too, coming undone on Wonwoo’s fingers and pressing your own hand against your mouth because you were sure you would have not been able to keep it inside any other way.

Jiwoo was not too happy with you when you’ve stepped outside the library long after you two had split up to take back your books.

“Where the hell have you been? I texted you to meet me in front of my dorm like half an hour ago!” she said.

“Then why are you back here?” you asked, careful not to look into Jiwoo’s eyes. Wonwoo was still inside. And so was the pretty librarian. Once you had turned back around to Wonwoo, who had been kind enough to wipe away his traces of your legs with a paper towel he had taken out of its packaging, you had told him quietly that you had been watched by the fellow student and even though Wonwoo got pale for a second, he then proceeded to grin cheekily, telling you that he was glad to have given him a good show. Thank god. Still, you apologised for not letting him now earlier to which he only kissed your cheek and said it was fine. Which now left you wondering what Wonwoo thought this meant. You were just about to say something when he beat you to it.

“Don’t worry your pretty brain, y/n. I understood that you aren’t looking for something serious. I might like you, but it’s not like I can’t differentiate between feelings and sex. So, if you ever feel like it… you can call me.”

And with that you had said your goodbyes, you walking out first and him walking out, well, probably soon. So, you did not await Jiwoo’s answer, but grabbed her hand and dragged her out the library, leaving her confused.

“Hey, wait, what’s going on?” she asked as she stumbled behind you. You only let go off her when you were far enough from the entrance and turned around to face her with both of your hands scratching your head as you kept on biting down onto your tongue. Jiwoo looked at you completely flabbergasted.

“I just met Wonwoo in the library,” you said then after a small while of contemplating. Jiwoo’s eyes widened.

“Oh shit, how was it?” she asked, obviously worried.

“Well,” you began letting your arms fall back down next to your body and your teeth now continuously sinking into your bottom lip, “we talked for like a good half a minute and then he fingered and then fucked me against one of the bookshelves.”

Just ripped of the band aid. Told her what had happened. Might have left something out but perhaps that would have given her a heart attack.

Jiwoo’s face was blank, and she blinked at you a few times, silently. She was taking in the information you had given her and eventually…

“I beg your pardon?”

You just stared back at her. Silently. Honestly just not sure what to say. Jiwoo seemed to feel the same way. For a few seconds she just looked at you, just as silent as you, then she slowly nodded, blowing up her cheeks with air.

“You know what? Of course, you did. Why wouldn’t you?” She now put her hand on your shoulder and clicked her tongue, still nodding her head. You cleared your throat.

“Also, the guy who works in the library watched us.”

“Oh common!” Jiwoo’s face turned into an unbelieving expression. You pressed your lips together.

“Yeah.”

“I- you do know that doesn’t count, right? You need to at least have some contact with them for it to count!”

If you were honest, you hadn’t really thought about it maybe counting. Your mind had been filled with too many other things, for example Wonwoo drilling into you as if there was no tomorrow. Even now, thinking about the way he had felt inside of you, the way he had moaned into your ear when had climaxed… that in combination with the super cute part-timer… yeah, you had to quickly get your head out of the gutter.

“Whatever. Can we leave?” After nodding, still staring at you with a look you couldn’t quite pinpoint. She did seem impressed, but there was also something else. You did have a guess, but you weren’t willing to bring it up just yet. Because that would mean that you had to take responsibility for your own actions and that just wasn’t… possible. At least not right now.

Wonwoo ended up texting you two days later while you were in line for a coffee at a new coffee shop near the campus.

Wonwoo [10:11am]:how would you feel about watching a movie together this weekend?

Just wonderful. You closed your eyes for a second, before stuffing the phone back into your pocket, chewing on your bottom lip as you finally let the thought you had so desperately wanted to ignore slip into your mind. Sleeping with Wonwoo again was a mistake because he obviously likes you, you idiot. You had given him hope again, even if he had said that he understood and respected your wishes, it still had given him the impression that there might be a future in which you could at least, well, be friends with benefits or something. All that when there was Mingyu who had texted you a selfie this morning from his own bathroom, freshly out of the shower with wet hair and a cheeky grin on his lips, captioned with the words “wish you were here!” and yeah. You had already gotten yourself a friend you somewhat regularly had sex with and while there was nothing wrong with having another one, you also had not even asked Mingyu if he like… was okay with you sleeping with other people, especially without a condom.

“I’m so fucking screwed,” you mumbled to yourself as you finally reached the counter, lifting your head up, eyes on the barista and you immediately had the strong urge to either run away or shit yourself.

“Y/N, long time no see,” god damn Joshua Hong stood there, pretty smile and all, with his hair falling into his face as he leaned on the counter top, waiting for you to order. You looked around the place, confused. Joshua seemed to catch on because he chuckled.

“I started here last week when they opened. The shop owner is a good friend of mine.”

Right, of course. Just your luck. Instead of answering, you just nodded and told him you wanted an iced latte, which he put in the tablet in front of him.

“How much will that be?” you asked then, already getting out your card, when you suddenly felt someone brush against your shoulder.

“It will be my treat,” you heard a voice say and it took you a second to understand who had appeared behind you.

“Oh, Junie!” Joshua smiled widely as he took Jun’s credit card. The world around you started to spin. This could not really be happening. Jun and Joshua started chatting beside you and you felt your cheeks starting to burn because what the fuck? It was very obvious that they knew each other, that they had seen each other just last week at some guy’s place to play some game you were sure you would be able to recognize if only you weren’t frozen to where you were standing. Sweat was slowly building up on your forehead, threatening to run down your face any second and you knew you had to find your confidence somewhere within you because this was not working. Losing your cool because Jun did not only know Wonwoo but Joshua too which meant that the chance of Joshua knowing Wonwoo was not slim.

“Thank you,” you finally said, when Jun had somehow managed to lead you to the other side of the counter where you both watched Joshua make your beverages as his colleague began taking orders.

“No problem, really”, Jun smiled at you, and you smiled back even though you felt like throwing up. Does he know? Does he know I slept with Wonwoo? That I am the girl he was texting about?

“I am glad I ran into you, actually,” Jun continued, and your ears perked up at that.

“Oh, really? Why is that?” You asked and tried to not jump to any conclusions. Even if he knew about who you were, he wasn’t just gonna-

“I wanted to talk to you about Wonwoo.” Shit. You pressed your lips together for a second before slowly nodding.

“Okay. What’s up?”

Jun tilted his head to the side, his eyes giving you a look meaning something like “are you for real?” and you knew that it was stupid to have even asked. You sighed and pulled a hand through your hair.

“I know, okay? But to be fair, how was I supposed to know you guys knew each other? Our university is huge, what are the odds that you guys are friends?”

Jun nodded slowly, a soft pout on his lips. He looked really good today. Hair styled slightly up, a beige sweater on his broad upper body, washed out blue jeans decorating his legs. So pretty.

“Yeah, I get that. Still, I need to scold you for what happened two days ago,” Jun’s pout was gone, had made space for a judging expression and you wanted to fall into the next hole.

“Here are your drinks!” Joshua now placed the drinks on the countertop, smiling at both of you widely. Quickly, you took the cup and turned around, making your way out of the coffee shop that was getting fuller by the second. You suddenly felt like you really needed air.

“Y/N, hold up!” Jun was following you and once you were both outside, he grabbed your wrist and turned you back around to him, softly. God, this was so ridiculous.

“Jun, please, I have class,” you said, sighing after, “look, I get it, okay? I shouldn’t have slept with him again. It was stupid, especially because I knew he had caught some feelings. I won’t do it again, okay?”

For a few seconds Jun looked at you, his eyes wandering over your face. It seemed like he was trying hard to figure out whether you were telling the truth. If you were honest, you weren’t so sure that you were. But he hopefully didn’t see that.

“Fine. I just don’t want him to get his hopes up, you know?” Jun let go off your wrist and rubbed the back of his neck, looking really good doing it, too. You sighed internally.

“I’m very sorry about all of this, Jun. I hope I didn’t like… put you in an awkward position,” you said, back to biting your bottom lip. Jun waved it off, shaking his head.

“Don’t worry. Minghao and I, we, well, we didn’t tell him. Not that it was you, at least. He does know we had the best threesome of our friendship at that party, but that’s all.”

You stared at him, then you laughed.

“Flattery, I see. Well, I’m glad. Didn’t want Wonwoo to feel any worse. I really have to go now, but thanks for the coffee again!” Jun nodded and waved at you as you already began to walk towards campus.

There was no way around going into the library. You had tried to hold it off, but you had to get books, had to study somewhere else than your stuffy apartment that you might love but it just wasn’t working for you to study at home. The tries had failed and now you found yourself in front of the entrance and your legs just wouldn’t move. It hadn’t even been a full week since you had been here, since you had experienced… that. Gulping down the lump in your throat, you finally got your legs to start walking and the second you entered the library – you wanted to turn around and run away again. There he was, standing at the counter across from you, currently scanning books from another student. His hair was falling into his face in soft waves, and he was wearing a baby blue jumper over skinny grey jeans, smiling at the student as he handed her the books – catching sight of you in the same moment.

You saw his face fall, his arm staying mid-air as the girl had already turned around and walked away. To be honest, you didn’t know why the thought had not occurred earlier. He was handsome, pretty even. He had jerked off to you getting railed by Wonwoo – he was perfect for your challenge. Sinking your teeth into your bottom lip, you began walking towards him, now your head in a totally different space than before. It had been so obvious and yet you had let the awkwardness take over you.

“Hi,” you said as you put your arms on the counter, looking at him through your lashes, a small smile playing on your lips. Now, you could finally see the name on his name tag – Boo Seungkwan.

“Oh, uh, hi”, Seungkwan now replied, his cheeks already flaming red. God, he was cute. You did the thing you were the best at, biting down on your lip as you looked at him with your head slightly tilted, making him shift behind the counter.

“I should have come by sooner, but I wasn’t so sure if you even wanted to see me, you know”, you explained and Seungkwan only nodded, eyes hanging onto your lips, “so, tell me, Boo Seungkwan, did you want to see my again?”

The boy’s eyes shot up and he looked straight into yours, Adam’s apple bopping as he swallowed hard. The truth was, he had wanted to see you again. His mind had wandered off to you the past week more times than he could count. The image of you watching him as he touched himself, all while some guy was fucking you so good you had trouble keeping your eyes open – it had been the cause for many sleepless nights and a lot of cold showers in the morning.

“I- I did”, he now replied, proud of himself for still looking into your eyes even though he felt like looking away. It was silly, how the presence of a girl he thought was hot made his whole demeaner change. Normally, Seungkwan was a funny guy with loads of confidence and sass in him, but when it came to girls, he was nothing but a mess. Alone the fact he had done what he had done as he was watching you, had been so far out of his comfort zone he couldn’t even explain why he had even done it.

“Well, that makes two of us,” you know went back to smiling, even though the words you had said were a lie. Or at least half a lie. It wasn’t like you didn’t want to see him again and more like if you could. Facing someone you had never talked to before who just randomly stumbled across you having sex in a public place who then proceeded to jerk of to it… yeah. Complicated situation. Nevertheless, it could possibly make the whole plan in your head work out just as well as you needed it to.

“Really? I- well, I just figured that you and, uh, that guy-,”

“We’re not together, if that’s what you’re asking,” you interrupted him, “I don’t date anyone right now. I just like to… have some fun.”

Seungkwan’s ears perked up at that. Fun? You and that guy weren’t dating? And you had come back here to…?

“So, I wanted to ask, when does your shift end?” now, you finally asked the question and Seungkwan couldn’t do anything but stare at you, before he finally regained his consciousness and cleared his throat, looking down at the little clock standing on the counter.

“I’m off in about an hour,” he said, and you nodded slowly, licking your lips and feeling his eyes follow that motion nervously.

“Perfect, I’ll get some work done and then we can… have some fun”, you presented him with a wink before you turned around and walked away heading for one of the tables on the right side of the library.

Seungkwan owned a car. A pretty nice one, actually. He told you it had been a gift from his grandparents for getting into college and now he rarely ever used it. But today seemed to be your lucky day because in his fear to be late for work he had taken his car to drive to the library today.

And so, you found yourself on Seungkwan’s lap on the top floor of the nearest parking garage that was mostly empty this time of day, your lips currently on his, your hand in between your bodies on his crotch, making him moan into the kiss here and there. There hadn’t been much secrecy to what you wanted to do, and he had been more than eager to fulfill what you needed of him. His hands were placed on your hips, fingers digging into your flesh as he tried hard to keep his composure. You felt him hardening against your hand by the second, felt his breath hitch in your kisses, his chest raising and falling rapidly. He was so gone. Just for you.

Smiling, you parted from him, leaning back a bit and taking off your shirt, watching his eyes take in all of what you were now showing him. You had climbed over to the driver’s seat once Seungkwan had parked the car and that’s where you were still sitting now, the wheel behind you making it rather a narrow space, but nothing you couldn’t work with. Once your shirt was thrown onto the passenger seat, you let your hands wander to his face, gripping it as you leaned down for another kiss that he gladly welcomed. His own hands sunk back to your hips, but this time he really dug in his nails as he kissed you back hungrily, leaving you with moans inside his mouth.

You let your lips now wander off to his jaw and neck, hands now underneath his jumper that the both of you took off, before he wrapped his arms around you, pressing you against him, as he buckled his hip, searching for any kind of friction. His desperation for you was getting higher every second and realizing this, you also realized all the possibilities.

Quickly, you let your lips wander back over his neck, leaving slight marks here and there, your hands now opening his skinny jeans. It would be a bit of a hassle to get him and you out of your respective pants without trouble in this small space, but somehow you managed to get his jeans and briefs down enough for you to get ahold of the pretty cock that he so desperately needed to be touched. Before doing so, though, you brought your hand up to your mouth, spitting on it, making Seungkwan whimper. You knew he would be done for the second you touched him. And yes, the second your hand was on him, he immediately twitched, Seungkwan looking down at your hand around his dick, swallowing hard. You smirked, letting your hand move only slowly, watching him as he bit his lip. He looked back up at you, clearly yearning for more, but you could sense that he wasn’t the type of person to push something. But you were going to change that. At least for now.

“Does Seungkwanie want anything?” you asked, voice dripping in innocence and Seungkwan’s eyes widened.

“If Seungkwanie wants something, he has to tell me, use his words”, you continued, your hand still moving ever so slowly. Seungkwan chewed on his bottom lip, looking from your face to your hand and then he finally opened his mouth.

“F-faster”, he then mumbled, and you immediately obeyed, your hand’s movements getting quicker. A beautiful moan escaped his lips now, a moan you needed to engrave into your brain forever. You felt yourself clench around nothing, beginning to crave sinking down on him. But first you had to tease him, make him loose it, beg you to let him be inside of you.

Your lips found his again and he kissed back to his best ability when your hand just felt so good around him. Your free hand now slid underneath his white shirt and found his nipple, squeezing it just to see if it did anything – and yes it did. Seungkwan cried out, leaving you grinning like an idiot with panties now soaked. You kept on with the spiel, one hand around his cock, the other on his nipple and watched his face twitch in awe. He was so pretty like this.

“So pretty, baby”, you whispered into his ear, kissing down his neck again and stopping at his chin. Slowly, you leaned back as your eyes searched for his and once your gazes met, you smiled, taking the hand that had been playing with his nipple to his chin.

“Open your mouth for me, will you?” you said and Seungkwan immediately did as asked.

“Stretch out that pretty tongue now too,” was your next order and Seungkwan obeyed eagerly.

“Such a good boy”, you then said, making his eyes sparkle.

Now, you slowly sat up straighter, hovering over him, looking straight into his eyes.

“Catch, or I’ll be very sad,” were your words before you finally let a strip of spit fall down your mouth and right onto his tongue. His cock was twitching in your hand and so was his face once the drop hit him and he looked at you like he had just seen god.

“Swallow, baby,” your eyes were staring into his and he did as asked, not letting your eyes out of his sight. Once you saw his Adam’s apple bop, you bit your lip, very much content with his obedience. You shot forward again, connecting your lips as your hand sped up on his cock. His breath was hot inside your mouth and his tongue was in no control – but you loved it all. All the reactions you were getting from him. Somehow you managed to get your own pants down, having them pool at your ankles by the end, your panties only shoved to the side as you lead his hand to your core, telling him to touch you there. He was nervous, but eager, letting his fingers slide to your folds as you held your underwear with one and his cock with the other hand.

“I want you to finger me, okay, Seungkwanie? Need you to open me up for your cock, alright?” you said, and the boy nodded, head back to being red.

“Y-yes”, he stuttered as you led him to your entrance after his fingers were drenched in your juices. You lifted your hips a little as he sunk into you, his jaw again dropping as he felt the tight and hot space around his fingers, the mere thought of this being around his cock probably able to make him cum.

“Move your fingers, baby,” you then sighed, and he again nodded, moving his fingers in and out of you, causing moans to escape your mouth. Instinctively you began to move your hand around his cock in the same speed as he fucked you with his fingers and once he noticed that he sped up, electricity shooting through your body as you returned the favor. Both of your pants and moans filled the car now, your hips moving with his fingers as his also began bucking up at every jerk of your hand, and you knew that it was only a matter of time until he (and you for that matter) was going to finish.

“A-am s-so close,” you heard him whine and immediately you stopped your hand, leaning forward to crash your lips together again, both arms now around his neck as he was unsure what to do with his fingers inside of you, his other hand now hesitantly placed on your ass, as you shifted closer to him, your hips still moving as he now continued his movements.

Tongues met and teeth clashed, moans were shared and breaths about to break when finally, you pulled his fingers out of you, looking straight into his eyes as you shoved them into his mouth, telling him to suck. Seungkwan was hard as a rock, precum on his tip, and more shooting out the second he tasted you on his own fingers.

“You like tasting me? What a good boy you are, Seungkwan. Common, take them all in,” he was now deepthroating his own fingers, tears pooling his eyes as you kept on pressing his fingers into his mouth, a devious grin on your lips, before you finally pulled them back out again.

“Did I taste good?” you asked, hand back around his cock and your hips moving up, lining your entrance up with his cock, making him shiver.

“S-so good, yes,” he said, and once his cock was beginning to slide into you, he cried out. But he was wrong if he thought you were just going to ride him without bringing him to a breaking point first. You let his cock slide out again, bringing its tip to your folds, sliding it up and down as you threw your head back. Seungkwan whimpered, bucking his hips.

“N-noona, p-please,” he begged, and you let your head snap back to its original place, eyebrows raised.

“Noona?” you asked, ignoring the other half of his sentence as you continued rubbing his dick through your folds, letting it circle your clit.

“Y-yes, I, urgh, I saw that- that you were, o-older than m-me,” he stuttered, making you smile.

“Did you look me up?” You asked, your thumb now circling his tip, putting pressure on it and causing him to cry out again.

“M-my co-worker re-recognized y-you a-and then I- I looked you u-up, nrgh, in the library sy-system and, f-fuck, you’re o-older th-than me, n-noona,” during his little explanation you had let his cock slide into you for just a tiny second before pulling it out again, tip back to circling your clit. You moaned as you moved your hips against it.

“Mhm, I see. So… does Seungkwan want anything from noona?”

“W-want h-her to r-ride me,” gosh, he was so cute.

“Beg noona, will you, baby?” you placed his cock back at your entrance, looking at him. You were barely hanging on, eager to finally sink down on him, but you needed to see him break, beg you to fuck him. And so, he looked up at you through long lashes, swallowing once again.

“P-please ride me, noona. I really want to fuck you.”

The second he finished his sentence, you finally sank down on him, hands propped on his shoulders and both of you moaning loudly. Without much hesitation you began moving your hips, bouncing up and down on his cock, searching for sweet release. Seungkwan had his head leaned against the seat, hands laying on your thighs, mouth hanging wide open as his eyes were closed. The feeling of you around his cock was magical. He felt as if he was floating, and he was about to fly even higher with your pussy clenching around him like that. Something told him, though, that if he was to finish before you, you would be mad, and he really did not want to upset you. He pressed his lips together now and tried to think of something that was gonna stop him from cumming to soon and you noticed his change in expression, counting one and one together, grinning.

“Is baby so close he has to think of something else, so he won’t cum before noona? That’s so cute,” you said, leaning forward, lips against his ear, sucking on his earlobe, causing him to thrust his hips up. Now, you were the one crying out, biting down on his earlobe, tongue shooting out after.

“Do that again,” you ordered and Seungkwan obeyed once again, fucking up into you now, causing your brain to shut off. All you felt was his cock hitting you right where you needed it to, your walls hugging him and clenching around him.

“N-noona, I am s-so close,” you felt that he was just by the way he was fucking you. And honestly, you were fine with that because you were close, too.

“It’s fine, baby, cum for me, noona allows it,” and as if those were the magic words, Seungkwan’s cock immediately began to twitch and you felt him cum inside you – which then made you reach the edge, milking your and his orgasm as you moved your hips rapidly.

“F-fuck,” the boy under you breathed as he recovered from his climax, you now leaning against him, head on top of his shoulder. You were still trying to get back from your high, your breathing still hard and your legs jelly.

Once you did regain some of your mental capacity, you leaned back, smiling at him as you pressed a short kiss to his lips.

“That was fun,” you then commented and climbed off him and onto the passenger seat, where you tried to get your jeans back up. You just noticed now that your panties had ripped in the process. Oh well. There were your combined releases dripping down your leg and you saw Seungkwan reaching for a tissue on the backseat, handing it to you. Thanking him, you wiped it away, glad Seungkwan had leather seats, otherwise this would have definitely left a weird stain he would have to explain to someone eventually.

“Yes, fun is a word to describe it,” Seungkwan replied, and you chuckled, looking over at him as you finished dressing back up. He was also back in his jeans and looked at you, a little unsure.

“Would you mind dropping me off at home?” you then filled the silence and Seungkwan nodded yes, starting the engine as you buckled up.

The door fell shut behind you and you breathed out. So, five down, seven more to go. Sighing, you walked into the living area and put your bag on the kitchen counter, getting your phone out. You had a few messages from Jiwoo and a missed call from your mother – but you also had a notification from twitter. Unlocking your phone, you went onto the app and almost dropped it when you saw that your favorite underground rnb artist had announced he was going to be at your university’s yearly festival.  For a split second you wondered. Maybe, if you were lucky, he could become number 6.

header credit: @playmetheclassics

[animeomegas]

Kinktober - Day 25

[Solomom (Obey me) + Jealously]

Summary: You and Solomon had been together for too many years to count, and as such had little patience in your relationship for petty jealously when one of you went out with friends or danced with someone else at a party. You just didn’t get jealous... well, that’s what you thought until you managed to decipher the final chapter of a rare and old magic book before Solomon did. Now he’s pouting and jealous and demanding that you teach him the final chapter. Unfortunately, for all his wisdom, Solomon seemed to have forgotten the phrase, ‘be careful what you wish for’. Dom!Alpha!GN!Reader

Warnings: There is no established consent but believe me, Solomon is an enthusiastic participant. Solomon being jealous, but it’s lowkey, not anywhere near yandere, don’t worry. Also, this one is a bit rushed, but I’ve been super busy visiting my family home, so sorry about that!

“My love, do you have the book I lent you? I wish to take it for some studying in the library,” Solomon walked into your bedroom, cape billowing behind him.

“Hmm?” you asked distractedly from where you were scrolling on your phone in bed. “Yeah, sure, I already finished translating and studying it anyway.”

Solomon froze.

“Ha,” he gave a forced laugh. “What do you mean you finished it?”

“What do you think that means, Sol, come on now, darling.”

Solomon’s eye twitched and you had to fight to keep your smile down. You knew just how to push every one of his buttons.

“Apart from the last chapter, you mean?”

“Nope, why would I say I’ve finished it if I hadn’t finished the final chapter.”

His eye twitched again, and he let out another forced laugh.

“And you understood it?”

“Of course,” you blinked at him like you couldn’t understand why he was struggling to grasp this concept.

Just then, little bit of uncontrolled magic knocked one of your little plants onto the floor.

“Oh dear, I do hope you’ll be cleaning that up,” you said with a monotone voice, still scrolling through your phone. Asmo was messaging you about setting up a threesome, you should probably reply to him before he threw a fit.

“Tell me how you did it!” Solomon demanded, taking the phone out of your hand and putting it in his pocket. Oh well, sorry Asmo, guess he won’t be getting a prompt reply.

“Why? You spent all of last night’s dinner date talking about how you couldn’t wait to sit down and decipher it yourself, why the sudden change of heart?” you fake pondered for a moment. “Unless it’s because you’re jealous I figured it out first.”

Solomon’s lips pursed and you could see him go a little red around the ears.

“Of course not,” he refuted. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Then I see no reason to help you with it.”

Solomon’s scent was tinged with disdain.

“Fine, just- Can you show me some of the magic then? It might help me to reverse engineer if I know what I’m working with,” he was still using the tone of voice that he always used when he felt like he was losing his control on a situation and didn’t know what to do. You had really rubbed him the wrong way.

Good job you thought his jealousy was cute.

“Sure! I don’t mind doing that, now?” Solomon nodded. “Cool, just give me my phone back, I’m not having you use it in one of your experiments, I need it.”

Solomon handed back your phone easily, eager to see the new magic spells he’d yet to figure out, and presumably twice as eager to crack the code and then try and surpass you by mastering them.

But Solomon had no idea what was in that last chapter. You hid a rather evil smirk. Sex spells. The last chapter was full of sex spells.

This was going to be fun.

…

“This isn’t funny anymore,” Solomon grumbled, floating several feet in the air with his arms crossed. You’d used the first spell in the chapter to start with, just as a little taster really. It was by far the most innocent one in the entire chapter. A simple levitation spell that could be held easily in conjunction with other spells, nothing inherently sexual.

“Well, if you’re not amused, I can always try the next one?” you smirked, stalking up to him and poking him on the forehead. “Here, statim summa voluptas.”

Solomon seized the seconds the words left your mouth, hips jerking against nothing as a stain appeared on his crotch and a blush on his face.

The book had simply called this one the ‘immediate orgasm’ spell.

“Wha- What spell is- How are you-!“

You casted it again.

“Hnng,” Solomon groaned, stretching and flailing in the air. His face was pink and the stain only continued to grow. “Fuck, fuck, this is too much!”

You casted it one final time.

The noise that slipped through Solomon’s closed lips was sinful. Because he was suspended in the air, he had nothing to hold onto while he was riding out his third orgasm, so his hands were clenching and unclenching rapidly to make up for it. He was panting now from the exertion of three rapid fire orgasms. It was tough to tell under the levitation spell, but he look completely limp and exhausted.

“How did you-“ Solomon coughed and wiped some drool off of his chin. “How did you do that?”

“I thought you wanted me to demonstrate the spells in the last chapter, Sol?” you questioned, tilting your head mockingly. “Don’t tell me you can’t handle it? You’ll never figure out how the spells work if I don’t show you.”

Solomon narrowed his eyes at you. His thirst for knowledge was untameable, and he was still jealous that you’d figured out the chapter before he did.

“What other spells are there?” he asked, staring you dead in the eye like he was trying to will you into showing him the information. Unfortunately for him, he didn’t make for a particularly threatening picture, floating helplessly, cumming at your mercy.

“Hmm, well, I thought this next one was fun,” you smiled, flicking your fingers at you and casting the next spell. “Think of the potential!”

All of Solomon’s clothes vanished, leaving his naked body free for your appraisal. The sticky cum from the previous orgasms was now obvious, covering his crotch and inner thighs completely. Solomon’s nipples were rock hard, and his backside was slippery with slick. In other words, he was absolutely breath-taking.

You couldn’t help but reach out and play with him for a bit, focusing on his extremely sensitive cock, watching the way Solomon flinched everything you made contact. And he was still complaining.

“That spell is ridiculous, what practical use does it have anyway?”

You rolled your eyes and decided to get him to shut up. You took swiped a finger through the cum on his crotch and held it up for Solomon to take into his mouth, something he refused with a harsh glare. He looked like he wanted to curse you out, but he wasn’t foolish enough to open his mouth while you were standing poised. Whatever. You just shrugged and smeared the cum all over his lips. That worked just as well.

Solomon levelled another glare at you.

“What’s that look for?” you asked with exaggerated interest. “Oh! I know! You must be bored of that spell now, how about we try the next one, then?”

“magicae delectationis manus,” you casted, eyes flashing. The last one was fun, but this one had to be your favourite.

There was a tense moment of silence, before Solomon smirked.

“You said you’d mastered all the spells, but it seems that-“

Solomon cut himself off suddenly and tensed.

“What’s that?” he asked, trying to turn around while airborne. He sounded a little nervous.

“What was that you were saying about my spell not working?” you laughed, circling him. “I think you’ll find this one… enlightening.”

“I can feel- Hnng, fuck,” Solomon cried out, writhing back and forth. “How does it feel like this? What are you doing?”

Solomon’s hands were jumping to different parts of his body sporadically. One second, he was clutching at his chest, the next, his neck, then his cock.

“Feel like what?” you laughed. “Oh! You mean, why does it feel like there are a bunch of invisible hands all over you right now? Well, my spell of course! That should be obvious! Are you enjoying it?”

Solomon didn’t answer. Although maybe that had something to do with the invisible hand that was clearly messing around with his tongue. It was so hot to see Solomon’s body react without seeing any of the hands. You wondered…

Oh yes, that was a nice view. Solomon’s hole was stretching as though he was being fingered, but you couldn’t see the hand. It was like a glass dildo, but better. The way it opened and closed, seemingly by itself, was so sexy.

Walking back around, you absently flipped through the chapter of spells, Solomon’s muffled moans filling the once quiet room. You still had twenty-five pages to go. Excellent.  

…

Later, when Solomon tried to make you explain how you knew how to translate the chapter, he was rather upset to find that their had been a key to the code tucked in the book sleeve. It was simply a form of child lock, to help stop children reading the last chapter, nothing complicated or spectacular. Solomon had been grumpy since you told him, but oh well, he’d definitely learnt his lesson.  

[sukirichi]

reckless [02.]

With a lackadaisical playboy as your boss, being reckless wasn’t an option. But on the one time you let loose and made mistakes, your life is shattered, and now you’re playing house with your insufferable boss who is the father of your baby.

✘ cw. angst, toxic situations

✘ note. yes, feel free to scream at me in the asks. but like don’t worry, i promise there’s more to come and there’s more to happen! it’s going to get fluffier as we go hehehehe. ALSO, I can’t help but feel that Zayn’s “Let Me” speaks perfectly to CEO playboy Gojo. hmph.

one  ✘  two  ✘  three 

One glance at the tall man beside you, and you would’ve thought he would pass out soon.

Satoru had been endlessly fidgety hours before the appointment. Flicking from music stations to another, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel or sighing at the sight of you calmly watching the city go by in a flash – it was clear he was restless. Judging from the dark circles he tried to conceal under a pair of shades, he probably hadn’t slept much last night as well.

Now that you were both inside the clinical room, with you laying back down on the reclined bed, belly exposed and all for him to marvel at, his knee hadn’t stopped bouncing. “Satoru, calm down. It’s just a doctor’s appointment.”

“Sorry,” he apologized sheepishly, rubbing his sweaty palms on his pants. “I’m just…excited yet nervous, you know? It feels so real now.”

Real didn’t begin to cover it. Although you masked your nervous quite well, you felt your stomach tighten when a woman came in. Her smile was gentle and comforting enough, talking you both through the process and spilling little fun facts about pregnancy. She applied a cool gel over your belly before turning to a screen, where mixed dots and waves of black and white blurred in front of your visions. Your eyes widened in awe, throat dry from the inability to speak. The baby had always felt real, but seeing it with your own two eyes, a small figure barely even a comprehensible shape in the screen, you couldn’t help but tear up a little.

“That’s mine?” Satoru breathed out, absentmindedly looping his hands through yours. It made you stiffen for a quick second, but your attention was quickly pulled back to the sonogram. “We made that?”

Your heart clenched at his words.

He sounded so happy – like all his dreams came true and you’d just given him a gift that was beyond priceless. You supposed it really was; a baby was always a miracle and joy to have, but this child wasn’t made out of love. How could he have so much fondness for something he didn’t want in the first place?

“The baby is perfectly healthy. This pregnancy doesn’t seem like a high-risk one, but it’s too early to tell so we’ll keep checking in on you,” the doctor pushed her glasses back to her nose, the sound of her cool voice pulling you back from a dangerous path of self-doubt and wariness. “Do you guys want to know the gender?”

Glancing at Satoru, you shook your head. It was amusing that you didn’t need to share words before he got the meaning behind one look, and he squeezed your hand as if to say he understood.

“I’d like that to be more of a surprise. Thank you, doctor.”

“Congratulations on being a father, Sir,” she bowed, and it occurred to you just now she was probably a family doctor. Satoru did end up keeping his promise that your pregnancy be kept private for a while. This little detail made you turn to him with shock written all over your face, though his attention was centred in on the swirling monochrome colours on the screen. Whether the doctor noticed the brewing tension between you two or not, you were still gad when they bowed once more to excuse themselves. “I’ll leave you two to talk now.”

The moment she was gone, you sat up and pushed your blouse down. Satoru’s demeanour had changed as well. His smile was wiped from his face, replaced only by a slight downturn of his lips.

Sighing, you swung your legs over the bed, not minding one bit that he was inches away from resting his chin onto your thighs. “Is there something you’re not telling me? You’ve been so worried since we got here.”

Satoru winced.

“Am I that obvious?”

“Even if you aren’t, it’s not that hard to see through you,” you spoke gently, a spirit possessing you because there would’ve been no other logical reason on why you placed a palm over his. Satoru’s hands were warm and large as he cupped your knee, tracing little patterns over your jeans as he kept his gaze lowered to the floor. It was an odd sight to see; that the Gojo Satoru refused to look a woman in the eye. “Tell me. What’s wrong?”

Satoru’s sigh is painfully drawn out, though his chuckles took the brunt.

“I don’t know what to do – how to be a father, I mean. Don’t you ever get worried…that maybe we might fuck up and ruin someone’s life?”

“Hey,” you cupped his cheek, forcing him to look you in the eyes – which you really wished he didn’t, because you’d never seen such azure this up close before. It was no secret that his eyes alone stole the hearts of people, but you had to remind yourself he broke them as well, so that you pulled away right before he got too close for comfort. It wasn’t what he needed anyway. Satoru simply required reassurance, so you opted for an awkward pat on the shoulder. “Weren’t you the one telling me the other day we’ll work it out?”

“Yeah, but…”

“But what?”

“It’s nothing,” he shook his head, a smile lighting up his features once more. “Are you feeling good? There’s someplace I want to take you, as a celebration for our healthy baby.”

You pursed your lips. As much as you appreciated his enthusiasm, this ‘celebration’ didn’t sound like a good idea. You’ve made mistakes before and now you lived the consequence of it; being reckless was outdated. Caution, wariness, and space were the top three perfect recipes for the complete opposite of a disaster.

“I don’t think that’s necessary.”

“Why not?” he challenged, taking your hand in his as he guided you out the clinic. You made no comment on why he led you out the back where he’d parked his car, even going as far to bow for you as he opened your door. “Liven up a little, we got good news today! Plus, we didn’t both take a day for nothing. Come on, you’re going to have fun, I promise you!”

“And where would we go where people won’t recognize you?”

“Somewhere people are too lost in their own world to focus on others,” Satoru announced before sending you a side glance, smooth hands already on their way to rev the engine.

This wouldn’t go down well. Or at least that was what you wanted to believe, because his smile and excitement were too contagious that you couldn’t restrain the smile you wore.

“A carnival? Really? We’re too old for this.”

“We’re never too old for anything,” he insisted, placing his hands on your shoulders as he maneuvered from stall to stall. Everywhere around you, children and people of all ages milled by, laughter and screams that fading into the distance. One survey at the long, endless lines for the rides and crowded spaces, you grimaced, feeling an uncomfortable weight resting on your shoulders that was beyond Satoru’s hands. “Aw, come on, don’t be such a bore. Day offs like these are rare and think about the baby! Don’t you think they would’ve wanted us to get a long?”

“You’re just using the baby as an excuse to have fun.”

Of course he would – Gojo Satoru was like a man-child. Whether it was someone randomly bringing donuts or puppies into the office, he easily lit up like a firework, seemingly finding joy in every little thing. Being stuck in the office and forced to work his ass off under your supervision must’ve taken a toll on him too.

Add on the fact he hadn’t gone out on dates or parties ever since he found out he was going to be a dad, the desperation to go out and do something was written all over his face.

Satoru pouted. “That’s mean. Take that back.”

“No.”

“And I’m the childish one here?” he snickered. You merely rolled your eyes at him and gave in; too much time spent working and not enough time relaxing (not that being a carnival was your definition or relaxation, but alas, Satoru was dragging you around everywhere like always) wouldn’t be good for the baby.

“You see that bear over there? I’m going to win that for you. It could be my first ever present for our baby.”

There was no stopping him. You didn’t want to, either, because you just stood there, arms crossed against your chest as you let him do whatever he pleased. A literal man-child, a youthful soul stuck in an irritatingly attractive man’s body – these were the thoughts that ran through your head while Satoru kept swinging his arm back and forth. He chose a stall where you had to knock down stacks of cans down with one set of three balls, all because he wanted to win a bear. You would really rather go home than watch him fail four times now, but he wasn’t giving up, only flexing his shoulders before gesturing to the young man.

“Hey man, three more balls please.”

Nothing was funny about it at all. Watching your boss fail miserably even after ten tries shouldn’t have been so hilarious, yet sweat was dripping all over his face and his patience was hanging on a loose thread that you were giggling before you knew it.

His usual confident bravado began to tear down bit by bit, his face flushed from the sounds of your teasing.

“Satoru, stop,” you laughed, “We’ve been here for twenty minutes and your wallet might as well be empty! You can just go buy a bear at the mall.”

“You’re too functional. Where would be the meaning behind it if I just bought a random bear?” he huffed, pushing the sleeves of his denim jacket up to his elbows. Determined now more than ever, he even stretched his long arms side to the side with a shake of his hips. You could tell the young man manning the stall was hiding his amusement by whistling to himself, but Satoru really was such a ridiculous sight you couldn’t blame him. “No, I’m going to get that for you, then I’ll brag to my baby how cool their dad was when he knocked those cans down.”

“You mean, if you knock those cans down.”

His shoulders deflated. “Support me a little bit, will you?”

“Hmm, I don’t know, it might just inflate your ego and you’ll be too distracted by yourself to ever actually knock those cans down,” He threw a ball with a force so strong it hit the curtain above the cans, and it bounced back somewhere below the tables. It didn’t even touch the can by a smidge, and you snorted. “See what I mean?”

Expecting that Satoru would take insult to heart (as his ego was easily wounded, this much you knew when he refused to talk to anyone at the office for a whole day because one of his directors forgot his name) you smirked at him, but that smirk immediately dropped when he grinned back at you. He was no longer wimpy like before, an aura of confidence brimming from him. “That’s like the second time you’ve told me I was distracting,” he mused, leaving you baffled because he was right. “On the contrary, I think you’rea lot more distracting, so I take that back. Just stand there and watch me win.”

“Okay,” you drawled out in faux disinterest, thankful for the corny carnival music and chatter from the crowd that he couldn’t hear your poor beating heart.

You were too focused on pretending to be unbothered by him that you failed to see how the cans were knocked down. The counter guy was already picking them up as Satoru pumped his fists in the air, way too much like a child high on sugar.

Was this really the father of your baby?

“I won! I fucking won! That huge brown bear, please!”Satoru’s smile from holding the bear that was half his size couldn’t even compare to the city lights and sparklers. Even his eyes were lit up in joy as he skipped back to you, happily waving the doe-eyed bear in front of you. At your lack of reaction, he sighed before jutting his cheek out to you. “No congratulations kiss?”

“How about a slap?”

“Kinky,” he teased, sending your brain to overheat when he tapped his chin in thought. “Well, you did make my back bleed so I kind of got the idea you’re sort of extreme in bed – ow! Would you please stop hitting me? I just won you a wonderful prize and your first reaction is to hit me! This arm is exhausted from swinging endlessly, you know.”

“Maybe if you aimed better, you wouldn’t have had to exhaust yourself. Like I said, you could’ve just bought a bear,” you scolded, raising your arm threateningly when he opened his mouth again. Idiot. “Give me that.”

Satoru effortlessly swung the bear until it was under your chins, his white lashes ethereal as he peeked at you through them. He was close enough that you could feel the warmth of his breath dusting on your cheeks, that same warmth that had been mixing with yours in a sloppy, heated kiss just weeks ago. “And who said I was letting you carry this?” he taunted, thoroughly enjoying how for once, you weren’t hitting him.“I’m supposed to wave this around proudly then place it in our baby’s room when we get home. Besides, your hand looks heavy already.”

“My hands? Wait, what do you mean our baby’s room?”

At your words and questioning gaze, Satoru did a quick turn, trying to use the bear as a shield.

“Yeah, I forgot to tell you,” he scratched the back of his head awkwardly, “I may or may not have had my parents’ guest room renovated as a baby room, although if you ask me, I think moving somewhere else would be much better. Raising a child in a penthouse doesn’t seem like such a great idea if you ask me,” opening your mouth to scold him, Satoru stopped you by placing a finger on your lips, noses grazing against each other. “Don’t scold me right now; I know that look on your face and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, okay? We can still decorate it ourselves. I just had the beds removed and the space cleaned out. Now stop over thinking and let me help you with your problem.”

You pushed his face away for the sake of your heart. In fact, you should be paid for your acting skills for looking so unaffected.

“What problem?”

“Your hands look heavy,” he beamed, long fingers looping through yours as he swayed them side to side. “So let me carry it for you.”

“Satoru, I—”

“Don’t get me wrong,” he blinked innocently while surrendering his free hand, “I’m not doing this for you, it’s for the baby. Did you know oxytocin is released and makes you feel good and reduces pain, maybe even stress? We can pump your oxytocin levels through touch. It also lowers your blood pressure, and we want you at your happiest and healthiest for this pregnancy, right?”

“Since when were you an expert on this?”

“Since I found out I’m becoming a dad,” his words struck you speechless, mouth pressed into a flat line as you stared him openly. You hadn’t mean to come off as rude in that moment; you were just trying to gauge the sincerity behind his words, to explore the depth in his eyes, but Satoru must’ve took it wrong as he cleared his throat, “I can let go if you really want me to.”

“N-no! It’s fine…can we move? We’ve been standing here for ten minutes now,” Embarrassed, you pointed to the closest thing in your sight – a photo booth. “How about there? That looks fun.”

Satoru followed where your arm was pointed, laughing when a couple exited the red curtains while giggling amongst themselves. The guy even leaned down to steal a long kiss from his lover, and if you were embarrassed before, you wanted to crawl into a hole and never come back again right now. “You know, if you wanted me to be stuck in a cramped space next to you, you could’ve just said so. I didn’t bring the limo with me, but the Audi could be pretty small for us, I guess…”

You hissed at him in warning, “God, you never shut up do you?”

“It made you smile.”

“I wasn’t smiling!”

“Sure, mommy, whatever you say,” bumping his hip with yours, Satoru led you inside the cube. There were a plethora of filters to choose from; ranging from heart frames and ones that placed shades on your face. Not really thinking of what to pick, you reached out to press the frog hats one, but Satoru was swatting your hands away for the effect with heart emojis everywhere. “This is cute. We can show this to our baby once they’re born.”

“They won’t really know what a Polaroid is, Satoru.”

“It’s still sentimental!” he grumbled before clicking the camera icon, a huge smile already on his face until he saw you squished on the other side of the booth. Only one side of your ear could be seen, and Satoru furrowed his brows at you. “Come closer, you’ll be cropped from the frame.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Jesus, Y/N, don’t act shy now, I already fucked a baby into you,” mouth falling open at the vulgarity of his words, Satoru took the chance to drag you beside him. “Relax, you’re always so stiff. Our baby might come out frowning if you keep huffing like that.”

“You’re too close for comfort.”

“My apologies, I’ll try not to be included in the photo when you’re the one who suggested this in the first place,” he muttered playfully, booping your nose before he wrapped an arm around your shoulder. He was close, too close, that his musky perfume filled the close space. You wanted to lean closer to his warmth and sturdiness of his broad shoulders; his mere presence bringing about a sense of tranquillity despite your words. You told yourself it shouldn’t be too bad to lean into him for just a little while, absentmindedly following him as he cheers, “Smile!”

One photo turned into two, and Satoru ended up inserting a few more bills into the slot to take more. He tried out as many filters as he wanted, acting as if you two had been long time friends from how easy it was for him to be around you like that.

You supposed it came from his heavy experience with women. You were so unlike; while he was open to touch and didn’t care too much about space, you craved it deliriously.

It was obvious none of this meant anything to Satoru. You were probably just another woman in his life, with the exception that you had a kid, but you couldn’t mean something more. If anything, he treated you more like an old friend than a lover. He’d said it himself before that you weren’t his type and you didn’t mind, so why did it hurt the longer you mulled about it? Sure, you may not be as attractive or luxurious as his previous lovers, but did you really not even have charismatic pull? Is it because you weren’t his type that he was so casual with you, while you on the other hand, felt like you would lose your mind at every little thing he did?

You watched as Satoru pulled out his wallet and kept the Polaroid of you both grinning at the camera, forming a silly heart shape with your hands per his request. It was silly and platonic – yet the gesture confused you to no end.

“Why’d you do that?”

Satoru’s hand paused. “Am I not allowed to…?”

“We’re not lovers. You can’t just put a photo of us in your wallet.”

As if to prove a point, Satoru pulled out more photos of his wallet and showed it to you. There were several more wallet-sized photos, mostly of his white cat with black shades, another of him and his best friend, Shoko, and the last photo was of him skiing. They were all placed in his wallet along with a small, faded out photograph of what seemed to be his parents from the younger days. You couldn’t understand why he was showing you this, much less how patient he was as he smiled softly at you. “It’s memorabilia. I keep photos of everyone I care about everywhere with me,” he said, pocketing his wallet back before gazing up at the night sky. “I like to think we’re friends, at least. We’re definitely not just boss and employee anymore.”

Then what are we?

There were so many things you wanted to ask. You always knew he was always this overly friendly and nice, but what did make you? What did a friend mean to him? Other than Shoko, who was his lesbian friend who was also the company’s resident doctor, you’d never seen him be platonic with another female before.

The realization made your mood drop.

Maybe you were right. He probably didn’t even see you as a woman, but what did it matter? You didn’t like him. You shouldn’tlike him. Even if he had no intentions of wooing you, Gojo Satoru was far too appealing for his own good. Being around him was dangerous for your heart.

“Wanna ride the ferris wheel? The night city always looks beautiful.”

He was just your boss...and you were just a friend. Things were going to be alright as long as no feelings were involved. You survived seven years of working with him with not a single moment where your heart fluttered when he spoke your name; a baby made between you shouldn’t change anything now. At the end of the day, you were both only doing this out of responsibility. Satoru was trying his best to become a supportive co-parent to you, and that was all it ever would be. Strictly business – purely professional – as it always had been and always will be.

Foolish girl, you could hear a voice whisper at the back of your head, don’t get too lost in his eyes.

“Y/N, are you tired? Do you want to go home now? We can just order dinner to be delivered if you’re exhausted,” Satoru tugged at your sleeve to get your attention, and you chuckled awkwardly, not meaning to have spaced out the whole time. Worry was written all over his face from the way his brows dipped, stunning blue eyes darkening like the night sky you both made memories under.

Don’t look at me like that...

“Are you okay? Do you wanna go home?”

“Yeah,” you chirped far too brightly than you would’ve liked. Right now, it was more of a mission of fake it til you make it. You would just have to keep exerting the same amount of effort into making this work for the baby’s sake. And if that meant pushing aside any budding desire for this to last any longer to focus on your ‘friendship’, then you would do it. Taking Satoru’s hand for the first time since the baby ordeal, you flashed him a genuine smile. “The ferris wheel sounds nice. Let’s do some sightseeing before the night ends.”

Neither of you speak inside the cab. Beautiful the night was as the city shone into awakening illumination beneath you, comforting you with the thought that in the grand scheme of it all, you were small. Insignificant. That somehow everything you worried about wouldn’t matter when there was a much bigger world out there, and you were but a fickle dot in the middle of its entirety. But that was you, and Gojo lived in a much different world than you did. For somewhere in the city, you could recognize several of the sky towers, buildings, and establishments owned by his family. He mattered in the grand scheme; you were a small factor in his world.

Glancing back at the man who’d been silent the whole ride, you smiled upon seeing that he was doing the same. Satoru was practically bouncing in his seat as he snapped several photos of the city, mumbling something about he’d never seen this view before.

He was so innocent yet so out there, igniting within you an urge to take care of him and wanting to be taken care of by him.

You’d already accepted that you may just never have him that way. That small, fleeting crush was like a butterfly – pretty look at, but damn near impossible to catch. You’d already stopped crying yourself to sleep over the new changes brought about in your body, that in a few months’ time, you’d look back into everything and see that everything had changed. The mistakes you made that night were still something you regretted because you wished you could’ve done better, but seeing him right in front of you now, there was only gratefulness blooming within. Grateful that he was right by your side, grateful that at least the father of your child was more than capable of giving them a comfortable life, grateful that he didn’t push you away like you expected.

Acting more on impulse than logic, you leaned over to press your lips on his cheek.“Thank you,” you mumbled, eyes closed as you let your lips stay there for a few more seconds.

His skin was warm underneath your touch, and when you opened your eyes, Satoru was gazing up at you with stars twinkling in the vast galaxy he called his eyes. You smiled at his reaction, watching as he reached a palm out to caress that spot your lips had landed.“For what?”

“For everything,” you crumbled,“You’re not a bad person, Satoru, I know that,” with shuddered breaths, tears sprung at the back of your eyes again. “I’m sorry for being so difficult. I just need time to adjust to…well, all of this.” Your voice cracked at the last sentence and you were crying before you knew it, face hidden behind your palms in fear he’d look at you differently. In his eyes, you were always his stoic secretary who didn’t even bat an eye when people gave you backlash after Satoru hired you despite the lack of a college degree.

This all felt new – to cry, to trust, to rely on someone – and there was a flurry of emotions you couldn’t quite place yet.

Scooping you into his arms, Satoru patted your back as your cries grew louder. “Take all the time you need. We don’t have to rush into anything at all.”

In the harsh world of conglomerates where the laws of business blurred thinner and thinner with each day, it was hard to believe that not rushing into anything would be possible. It was always a flurry of hurried phone calls, frantic preparations for emergency meetings, anxiety over presenting new proposals and hoping that your superiors would sign your documents so you could go about your way. Time was as imperative as money was to them, but Satoru had proved he could be beyond that.

From the moment you met him, he never treated time as if it was something that slipped through his fingertips. He enjoyed every second he had of his life, and perhaps that was why you hated him so much in the first place.

You thought he took everything for granted, when in reality, all he did was bask in the little things life offered.

This much, at least, you trusted him with. If he said there would be no need to rush and you could both take it slow, he meant it. Around him, time felt more like a secret whisper than a treasure you both had to seize to protect. The night drifted off until it was already midnight and the crew was ushering all visitors out. You and Satoru made it home safely and quietly, hands linked together as if it was the most natural thing ever. No rush, you kept telling yourself, and you plopped down on the couch heavily as you let your muscles relax from such a long, eventful day.

You stayed there for a solid minute or so when you felt warm hands take your heels off. Opening your eyes, Satoru kneeled before you, his fingers expertly rubbing and pushing against the sore muscles of your feet. “Wh-what are you doing?”

“Your feet must be tired from all that walking,” he mumbled, looking up briefly to meet your eyes and tease your shoulder back. “Lean back for me. I’ll take care of you.”

Judging by the sentiment behind his smile, you figured it wouldn’t be harmful to enjoy this at least once. You’ve never gotten foot massages before but his hands kneading yours felt heavenly. You knew from experience beforehand that Satoru was quite godly when it came to the skills and magic his fingers brought, though this one was on a different level, and you were sinking deeper into the couch from the bliss. He was right; you were tired, and if having your boss massage you like this every night after dragging you wherever he pleased, then you wouldn’t complain.

The ringing of your phone made you sit up abruptly, surprising Satoru whose head you almost knocked into. “Sorry,” you croaked out sheepishly, “It’s my dad. I need to take this.”

“Do you need me to leave you alone?”

“Uh, no, you’re fine.”

Satoru gestured to your foot as you took the call, mouthing, “Should I continue?”

“Yes, please,” you answered back, palm pressed over the mic before you answered. “Hey, Dad!” Your father greeted you back with much enthusiasm, his energy heard even by Satoru who sent you small smiles and curious glances every now and then. A part of you wanted to ask if he was fine kneeling on the floor like that, but his knees were on the fur carpet anyway that it shouldn’t hurt him. He extended your leg and trailed up your calves, pulling a soft moan from you when he kneaded the flesh and rid it of its knots. His ministrations distracted you until you were nodding absentmindedly to your Dad every now and then, not really paying attention to what he was saying.

Then the call ended, and his last words kept ringing back into your head ominously. Satoru took quick notice of this as he tapped your knee, bringing your attention back to him. “Is something wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I...” you started, helplessly fumbling around Satoru. “My dad is in Tokyo. He said he wants to have dinner with me.”

“You don’t look particularly happy about that. Do you not want to meet your father?”

“I do but...”

“But?”

“I have to tell him about this,” you shivered, refracting your legs back to the couch until his touch disappeared from your skin. For a moment, you had the urge to crawl back to his heat, but you were restless, agitated. “About us. He’s going to want to meet you and I don’t want to hide the pregnancy from him either,” Satoru remained unmoving as you rambled, and you hid your face behind your arms again as you remembered the rules you asked him to follow. “Listen, I’m sorry if I sound unfair right now, I know I said I didn’t want anyone else knowing—”

Warm lips brushed over your knuckles, large hands peeling your wrists to reveal your face. “Hey, it’s fine. He’s family and you can tell him. It’s not like your Dad would ruin your image or something like you expected to happen.”

“He won’t but...” you frowned, “My dad isn’t going to like this. I can’t guarantee he’ll be civil the whole time, especially towards you.”

“You told him about me?”

“A few years ago, yeah, when I still couldn’t tolerate you.”

“So you can tolerate me now?”

“Only a little bit,” you corrected, pushing his hands away as you opened your phone to check your schedule. It was mostly Satoru’s schedule, truth be told, but you were free for the most part tomorrow. Satoru could just longue back in his office while you clocked out early to meet your dad. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. On second thought, he doesn’t have to know at all. I’m only a few weeks in and it’s not like he’ll notice—”

“Y/N,” Satoru interrupted you, rudely snatching his phone from your shaking fingers. You would’ve scolded him had he not sounded so worried. “I did promise I would take responsibility for you, right? I want to meet your dad and introduce myself properly. As a father-to-be, I think I can somewhat understand that he might react strongly to this, but I also need to reassure him you’re in safe hands,” taking your hand in his, Satoru leaned into your palm, the smile he wore way too charming than what your heart could handle. “As long as you’re okay with it, I would like to meet him.”

“I’m sorry if he does something stupid.”

“Don’t be,” he reassured with a chuckle. “I’m sure everything will go well.”

It didn’t go well. Your father wasn’t throwing a fit or causing a scene like you originally feared, but the current situation wasn’t any better either. He looked like he was on the verge of tearing Satoru’s head apart, his grip on the bread knife so tight his knuckles flashed white. Your father was the literal definition of unpredictable and out of nervousness, you held Satoru’s hand under the table for comfort.

In complete opposition of yours, Satoru handled it with class and composure. His head was ducked down in respect, making sure to be curt and precise in counters to your father’s harsh accusations.

“I’m really sorry for everything, Sir.”

“Did you ruin my daughter’s life?”

Satoru finally tilted his head back up to look your father in the eye, both your hands turning cold and sweaty in between the seats. “Pardon?”

“I asked if you ruined my daughter’s life by getting her pregnant.”

“I would never intend for that to happen, Sir,” Satoru straightened up. From your perspective, he looked every bit the man parents would want their children to be with – handsome, elegant, educated, polite, respectful and well-off – but your father was no ordinary parent. He sized Satoru up like a predator hunting his prey even as the latter acted cool about it. “Granted, it was an accident and neither of us are prepared for this, but I promise I’ll take care of her. I take responsibility as the father and you have nothing to worry about.”

Your dad slammed his palms down on the table, the loud smack catching the attention of nearby tables. “How dare you tell me I have nothing to worry about?”

“Dad, please don’t do this.”

“No, he needs to know,” he snapped. Unable to help it, you groaned inwardly and scooted closer to Satoru, knowing where this was leading. “I lost her mother right after she was born; raised her by myself when I was barely out from high school. Rich men like you may never understand the struggles of taking care of a baby all by yourself, but I did everything I could to make sure she grew up well. My daughter had a happy, comfortable life. When she told me she wanted to follow her dreams in Tokyo, I supported her, and then you go take everything away from her because you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself? You dare defile her like that?”

“Dad!” you roared, clutching Satoru’s hand who’d gone limp. “It was equally my responsibility as it is his! I wanted this; we both got carried away but we’re doing our best, so please stop being difficult to us.”

“You wanted this?” he laughed dryly, “A child with this man you kept moaning to me about; the same man who went to clubs every night while he left you all by yourself to work, to clean up his mess from him? You wanted him?”

“Dad,” you gritted your teeth, nails sinking down onto your thigh. Satoru remained silent between you both, although you could feel his burning gaze penetrating through the back of your skull. “It’s both our mistake. But this child...we don’t see it as that. We like to view it as a blessing. It may be true we harbour no affection for one another, but we want to be good parents. That’s all you need to know and I find no reason to explain myself to you. If you have nothing else to say, you can go back home. I’ll pay for your ride,” slamming down a few bills his way, you glared at your father, who shrunk back at the anger radiating off of you. “You’re not welcome here, Dad. Just go back home.”

“I’m just worried for you.”

“You don’t have to. I’m not a little kid anymore.”

“I never said you were,” he sighed, rubbing the sides of his temples. “But he just took all your opportunities away from you! What about your dreams? What about your plan of having your own career once you have enough experience? What about—”

“Are you implying that because I’m pregnant, suddenly I’m not qualified to fulfil my goals?”

“Sir,” Satoru cut you off, releasing your hands as he leaned forwards on the table, becoming more and more like the CEO he was trained to be – all authority and gentle command that won the hearts of multiple investors. “I assure you that I won’t be holding your daughter back from the things she wants to achieve. As her co-parent, I’m perfectly capable of supporting her in the dreams she wishes to achieve. I’ve worked with her for years; I know she can reach for the stars if she wanted.”

Your mind blanked.

“Young man, don’t talk to me as if you know my daughter better than I do,” your father scorned, “I’m not questioning your capability to support her, but what about your credibility? How can you assure me you’ll really be there for her? How can you assure me you won’t leave my daughter stranded in the middle of nowhere? How can you assure me you can protect her from the harsh criticism of society? Money can’t provide nor does it solve anything,” your father copied his gesture by leaning forward, but it was to poke Satoru’s chest. “From what I’ve heard about you, I suppose you understand perfectly well why I don’t trust you.”

“Sir, I do plan on marrying your daughter and to give her the life she deserves,” Satoru confessed, effectively stealing from you the ability to speak as he glimpsed your way. “If she lets me.”

“You’ll marry her? Be faithful to her as your wife and have a family? Are you sure you can do that?”

“Yes, Sir, I’m highly confident I can. I’ll make sure of it.”

“Then that’s all I need to know,” your father leaned back in your seat, arms crossed against his chest and a stern expression on his face. “And if I find out you hurt or make my daughter cry in any way, I’ll beat up that pretty face of yours. I have two more sons that’re willing to do the same, if you don’t watch your actions.”

Satoru beamed at your father’s ‘approval.’ “I’ll face any consequence if I fall short on my duties, Sir, but I assure you, it will never have come to that.”

“So we’ve come to an agreement?”

The two men linked and shook hands across the table, completely disregarding the fact you were right beside him. You were beyond appalled, but mostly hurt that you’d been reduced to this way. And they were unaware of it, too, sickening and satisfied yet tense smiles were masked on their faces as they decided your future.

You stood up and left the restaurant.

You kept walking as fast as you could in the cold night, hands shoved into the coat of your pockets. Thousands of pin needles pricked at your heart and your skin the more you replayed the memory in your head. How stupid were you to think that Satoru would be different? And marriage? Was he serious? It all made you sick to the core to the point you wanted to throw up and disappear, until a heavy set of footsteps echoed behind you and tugged your wrist.

“Y/N, wait!” Satoru panted, hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. “What’s wrong with you? You just up and left—”

“Seriously, Satoru, you’re asking me that?” your face fell flat at his cluelessness, “What’s wrong with you? You men are sickening; planning my entire future like that right in front of me as if I don’t have a say in what I want. None of you asked if I’m okay with this. You really went ahead deciding we’ll get married when I told you already, I don’t want to marry you and I never will!”

Satoru brushed a hand over his hair, a hand on his hip. You could tell his patience was being tested – after being verbally harassed by your father and now with you pushing back in the same heat, it was only a matter of time before he lost his cool. Surprisingly enough, however, his voice remained levelled as he sighed. “What did you expect me to do back there? Tell your father that we’re just going to be roommates and raise a child together as if we’re not already family?” he defended, words slow and pronounced with a hint of hurt behind them. “I respect you and I truly do want to be with you, that’s why I wanted us to get married.”

“You respect me?” you laughed incredulously, “Are you hearing yourself right now? No person respects another by deciding what happens to my life without my consent!”

“I’m sorry I didn’t ask, okay? I apologize for it and I acknowledge my mistake that I didn’t give you much of a choice. Me being cornered and pressured isn’t a good excuse, but I wasn’t lying when I said I want to take care of you and—”

“Why?”

“What do you mean why?”

“Why do you want to be with me?” you demanded, “Why do you want to take care of me so badly? How did you even take this so well? You weren’t even that angry when I told you I was pregnant.”

Satoru paled. “Was I supposed to be? Should I have pushed you away and kicked you out my life? Is that what you wanted me to do, or is that what you expected from me, considering you’ve made it extremely clear I’m nothing but your airheaded boss and a man who always wants his dick wet, right?” the sting of his words pricked you both – you with your guilt, and him with his pride crushed. But he didn’t let on, didn’t waver and didn’t match your anger as his chest shook with impatience. “I’m trying to be good to you; I want to be good for you and the baby because despite what you think of me, I’m not the devil the tabloids make me out to be. I sleep around, yeah, but I wouldn’t go so far to turn someone away especially when I know I’m supposed to be there.”

“Satoru, if you’re only doing this out of obligation, you can be a good father without marrying me. Marriage is not a requirement; I don’t care what people say that I got pregnant without getting married. That’s the least of my concern, I just want the baby to grow up healthy but I don’t want to be involved with you.”

With how stunned Satoru looked, one would’ve thought you slapped him right in the face. That mere sight of seeing your boss tear his walls down in front of you almost made you feel bad, but you had to be strong.

You had to be firm with what you stood for.

“I really don’t want to be with you, Satoru. I’m so sorry.”

“What do you want me to do?” his voice cracked, begging and pleading as he stood before you, looking every bit of a man lost in uncharted territory. “I don’t know what you want me to do, Y/N. One moment, you’re telling me you want me to be a good father, and then the next you’re pushing me away. People are so sure that I’m a man who can never settle down because they believe I have commitment issues, but I’m telling you I can commit to you right now,” he held your hand, rubbing some of his warmth at your comparably cold ones. You didn’t fail to notice that he was trembling, but what about what you couldn’t decipher. “Are you really sure I’m the one here who isn’t capable of that? What are you so scared of that you can’t trust me?”

“Because you’re you! Because you’re a fucking asshole who’s been treating me like I’m an overworking machine and always expects me to undo your shit for you! Because you make me sick and I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t know what love means!” Exploded. You exploded. “I regret everything that happened between us that night. No, in fact, I regret ever meeting you at all.”

Satoru took a step back.

All the light and joy that fit so perfectly with him had now disappeared.

“I’m sorry,” he demurred, “I’m sorry that I’d been so repulsive that you’ve felt miserable for all this time. I’m sorry I haven’t been a decent boss and I’m sorry I’m not good enough for you.”

“Gojo, stop. Stop doing that; stop apologizing!”

“Then tell me what you want me to do,” he barked desperately. “Because I can’t read your mind and I just want to be good for you.”

“What if I don’t want you to? I don’t want you to be good to me, I don’t want you to care about me. Be there for the baby, but don’t involve yourself too much in my personal life. Stop asking me to marry you because you and I would never work out. We’re impossible, okay?”

“How do you know we’ll never work out when we haven’t even tried?” he pushed, “You never even gave me a chance.”

“You’re not worth that chance.”

If someone could receive an award for effortlessly trampling over someone repeatedly, you would’ve been crowned winner a long time ago. You had no idea what came over you as you spat all those hurtful words to Satoru, but did your words bear no truth? The fact that he no longer defended himself meant he also knew that he wasn’t worth it – that he wasn’t someone to be trusted. It wasn’t that you were completely unfair too; of course you considered it. Weeks of living under the same roof as him and you most definitely considered it. Say you did get married and became a real family – what then? It wasn’t a marriage out of love, but rather out of responsibility and obligation.

As much as you loved your child, you couldn’t imagine throwing away your future and living miserable for the rest of your life like that.

A life built on lies wasn’t a life worth living.

“I would never hurt you.”

Your heart cracked. After everything you said, after all your efforts to keep him away from your own safety, after all the hurtful things you’ve done to him, and he was still apologizing? Why did he have to make it so hard to let go? You were tired, so tired that you could no longer refrain your lip from quivering as tears caked your face.

“Gojo, please, don’t—”

“So if me stepping away from your life is what would really make you happy, then I’ll respect it. But there’s one thing I have to ask,” Satoru swiped a thumb under your eye to catch the tear. His smile was forlorn, his touch cold and words melancholic. “Do you want the baby? Do you...want to keep the baby and be a mother? You don’t have to do anything for me, I just want to know if the mother of my child even wants to be one. And please be honest, because everything you say right now are words that I’ll mark seriously.”

The word left your mouth before you could stop it.

“No.”

“No what?”

“I don’t want to be a mother,” you admitted, hands trailing over your belly. It felt like you were betraying your own child, but you hadn’t planned this. “I’m too young, Satoru, I-I’m not ready for this. With you there beside me or not, I really don’t want this.”

“Then,” he cleared his throat, turning his head to the side to catch a moment. You swore you saw his eyes shine under the city lights with tears, but it was gone so soon that you might’ve just fooled yourself with it. Once he deemed himself ready to talk, Satoru took a deep breath. “Do I have your consent that once the baby is born...it’ll be under my care? Would you prefer to reach your own dreams, then? You’ll never have to be a part of the Gojo family if it’s really not what you want, even though I could support you as much as you need me to.”

Your eyes widened at his proposition. “You’ll take care of our baby?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Can I...can I visit them, at least, once in a while?” It was more than just your heart that broke that night. There was no telling whether you’d hurt yourself in the long run with this decision. It was no easy choice to make – to actively pursue your dreams somewhere else more than being a mother. You wanted to do your best, of course you did, but it wasn’t that easy. Gojo didn’t have to tell you for you to understand that once you married him, you’d be expected to run the business with him and be involved in his family and their dramas. Now that wasn’t a life you wanted.

“You’re free to visit them whenever,” he promised, voice fading even lower into the background. “So is this it? We’ll just be living under the same roof until the baby is born and once they’re here...”

“We’ll part ways.”

“We’ll part ways,” he nodded in agreement, sniffling for a brief second before fixing his tie. The Gojo Satoru you got to know for a few weeks had now disappeared. Not even the goofy boss you spent seven years with could be found in the coldness of his eyes, almost as if he’d put up such impenetrable walls around him and nothing could pass through. The sudden shift in aura made your heart clench as he offered his hand to shake. “Okay. Let’s stay professional until then?”

“Yeah, Sir, I can do that,” your hands shook as you enclosed it around his, but now all the warmth had disappeared – from his eyes, his touch, his soul. It hurt, but this was necessary. It was what felt right. “Thank you – for everything.”

“You’re welcome. Anything for you and the baby,” Satoru proclaimed, perplexing you both when he suddenly pulled you in his arms. Just like that, the dam broke, and you were staining his precious suit before you could stop it. His arms rubbed up and down your back the longer he held you there, almost like a final moment to lean on one another before you had to say goodbye eventually. Beneath your palm, his heart beat exuberantly loud, so much so that you might’ve heard the prayers it whispered. “Stop crying now. The baby might feel sad too. We’ll both be alright – we just have to get through this.”

taglist OPEN: @sixeyesgojo @bongofrito @7tsumurai @aphnyoturkey​ @stuckindreamland06​ @dogsarenyspiritanimal​ @thebeardedmoon​ @lildreamer93​ @pizzaspirits​ @q-the-rockaholic​ @rogueofbullshit​ @ladywaifuuwrites​ @flochsgirl​ @hamsa-mage @sonic-and-songs​ @vsvwi @misslovingpearl | bolded users can’t be tagged 

[tfwriting]

Forever In Captivity :: SG! Ratchet x Femme! Reader Rating: T Summary: You have been locked in with the Autobots for ages. Words: 786

You don't know how long you've been here. You were a seeker for Megatronus Prime. Then all of a sudden you were kidnapped. And you opened your optics. You seen a teal bot and he was destroying a decepticon and rearranging their parts. He placed the saw down.

"Hiya! You're awake!" The bot said.

He began to walk over to you smiling.

"You're next as my patient." The teal bot said.

"Paitent? Are you a medic?" You asked. The "Medic" laughed.

"Oh Primus no. I am the scientist and engineer medic. The real medic is upstairs. I work on Decepticons that are sent here. By the Lord himself. Lord Optronix. I fix them. Like this mech for instance!" The teal mech picked up a mech and began moving the mechs lifeless frame around.

"Hello!" The teal mech moved the lifeless frames servos as if they were saying hello.

"What am I doing here?" You asked.

"Simple. Lord Optronix wants me to experiment on you." He said.

"...Why?" You asked.

"That's classified. In case you try to escape and tell anyone." He giggles.

"Well. I can't escape because I'm chained up!" You hissed. "And besides would you rather kill me if I try to escape?" The teal mech laughs.

"We won't kill you. You'll just be swiftly returned here by Wheeljack." He said. You assumed "Wheeljack" was who kidnapped you.

"Besides. When will it be the next time we'll catch another Decepticon?"

The teal mech had a point, after you disappeared Megatronus wouldn't send anyone else for awhile now.

"What's your name?" You asked the medic.

"My name is Ratchet. What's yours?"

"My name is (Y/n)."

The mech gave off a weird look.

"I'm naming you (N/n)." He said.

Ratchet was called by someone.

"Stay here (N/n). Don't go anywhere. I'll be back." Ratchet said.

"I can't go anywhere anyways." You responded.

Ratchet left for awhile but returned with another Decepticon.

"I'm back~" he announced placing the decepticon mech down. "Also Lord Optronix ordered me to give you the Autobot insigna. If you resist then he gave me full permission to kill you." He said.

"Fine I'll let it happen." You said.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : 🌸 : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : 🌸 : -˚̣⋅ .

It's been ages since you received the insigna. You felt like you were violated. The previous insigna was covered by the Autobots symbol. You were now apart of the autobots. You were constantly mocked for being a deceptiscum. You never got protection from the relentless beatings you'd receive. Lord Optronix did nothing but encourage this behavior, to him. The safety of his members weren't important to him. In fact; he loves it when they fight.

You were sitting with Ratchet after you vented your feelings to him.

Ratchet nodded and understood. Although he can't do much about it he can listen to your rambles. The mech then cut open your fellow Decepticon. You became desantized to the torture that your fellow Decepticons.

You started to open up more gradually enjoying his precense. He didn't really mind you as much as he did when you first stayed here. He even trusted you to do errands for you. You ended up being of course beaten by people. But it didn't matter. Because well Ratchet will attempt to fix you.

It wasn't as good as the First Aid. But still he did a good job. Your bruises were nothing major but he did fuss over you. It's like more of a child fussing over a shiny toy then a angry person yelling at you for being hurt.

He cared about you as much as he didn't want to admit it. But you know he was a softie. You even went out of your way to tease him when you got hurt. You actually loved it here because of Ratchet's precense. You even allowed the beatings to happen. But things had changed.

The ship got raided by your old friends. They finally got to you. You didn't want to leave you told them you wanted to stay with them. Knockout identified you were suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. You muttered that it wasn't it. You actually loved Ratchet. He was the only one who you enjoyed the precense of. He never laid a servo on you like the others. He kept you alive even if you wasn't supposed to.

You were separated from him. You watched as they took you away and there's nothing you could do about it.

You were even in captivity without being in captivity.

[ghost-like-pale]

fuckin' perv

info: some gross guy thinks you're his, sapnap thinks otherwise. 》 female clothing/anatomy, they/them pronouns 》 irl + romantic 》 1.4k words

warnings: (sexual) harassment and assault, physical fighting, hurt/comfort, swearing

a/n: ty for the support on my last piece ♡ please enjoy

this blog it meant as a way of coping with trauma/mental issues, please don't report it. if you don't want to see what i write, please just block me.

——♤——

the evening sun shone an orange glow over the city. the chatter of the citizens rang through the streets past all the tall buildings, the cars and taxis making their way to their patron's destinations and the smell of your favorite restaurants wafted past the pavement. you've grown up in the city, getting used to it, yet never getting bored.

all of these memories made you think about your boyfriend; he was a real country boy - born and raised in texas and everything. it never failed to bring a smile to your face whenever he pointed out a particularly tall office or a pretty neon 'open' sign.

something he's never been very fond of is the people. specifically older men. they always had a certain look on their face as you walked by, making him swing an arm around your hip or slipping a hand in your pocket. he's always been quite protective over his lover. you didn't mind, though.

—

there wasn't much time to reminisce on your loverboy right now - you were going to see him today! your car broke the day before, so with great displeasure you had to take the bus. you hated public transport. everyone was so close to each other, the air was stuffy and there was always someone to make you horribly uncomfortable.

you pulled your mask further over your nose when you reached the stop. the small space was bordered by plastic panels and a poster for some music event, nothing of interest. the sound coming from your earbuds made your foot tap the the rhythm until the bus finally emerged from the passing traffic.

the ride was peaceful, which made you strangely wary - like a calm moment before the storm. you didn't mind the busride being quiet, but the feeling never shook.

after waving at the busdriver and thanking him kindly, you hopped off the vehicle onto the concrete pavement. three other people walked out with you; and old couple, one holding a walker and a 20-something year old man. the clicking of his tongue grew impatient as he got stuck behind the couple. after a moment the two elders managed to get off the bus safely and the man could finally get to his stop.

you didn't pay them any mind, you wanted to see sapnap as soon as possible. you kept walking at a brisk pace, growing more exited with every step. after passing and crossing a few streets you started to feel uneasy. feeling eyes drilling right through your back, you rummaged in your bag and pulled out a small handheld mirror and lip gloss. as you were applying your gloss you glanced behind you, scanning the faces you could catch from within you peripheral vision.

you were surprised to see the impatient man from the bus stop a few feet behind you. now realizing the situation, you hastily stuff everything back into your bag and start walking again, this time quicker than before. the stabbing look didn't shake, however.

you were getting more anxious as it got darker and the crowds became scarce. the destination was on the edge of the city, where there was nothing other than small stores and the occasional crappy apartment building. the pavement was easy to see if you looked down; no polished dress shoes, no sneakers, no stilettos, nothing. just the occasional group of chatting teenagers passing by or an overworked retail worker walking home.

with every frantic step forward he seemed to get one step closer. the sound of your feet tapping on the floor came to a halt as you arrived at a crosswalk with a red light. the man hummed an unorganized tune and stood behind you and casually waited for the light to turn green. everytime you'd move, so would he. the brief moment waiting in front of the crosswalk felt like centuries.

—

ding. the pole emitted a bright green and you sighed in relief. you rushed over to the other side of the street, making sure not to hit someone on the way there. as you were moving along you suddenly felt a hand on your back, slowly gliding down over your-

"what are you doing?!"

the panic in your voice didn't phase the man, though he did take his hand off your lower half and placed it on your neck instead. he slowly backed you into a small alleyway while muttering a response.

"calm down, cutie. it's just a hand."

you slapped his hand off yourself, losing the hope you had when you realized you were the only one with him on this block.

"let me go, you creep!"

this response to his 'compliment' didn't please him; he harshly grabbed you by the roots of your hair and pushed you against the cold brick wall of a corner store.

"listen here, bitch. you're gonna listen to me real good, and you're gonna obey everything i tell you, understood?"

you whimpered in pain, shutting your eyes and tears dipping at your chin.

"understood?!"

with another yank at your hair you mewled and nodded hastily. this seemed to satisfy him.

"good. now, let's have some fun, shall we?"

his hand rested on your thigh and gradually made its way up, under your skirt until it hit your underwear. the other was around your wrists, holding them both with his larger hands to the side of your head. his feet trapped yours, putting his weight on your toes so you wouldn't kick him.

"ngh-!"

"heh, can't handle stimulation, can you? guess this will be more fun than i imagined- ugh!"

the man was knocked back harshly, the hand that connected with his face quickly retreating to the body it belonged to. sapnap. the man felt his jaw, there was blood dripping off his lip.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO THEM?!"

sapnap boomed in anger at the man. before he could even think of an answer he was hit again by the same hand. sapnap was now right next to you, him seeing your trembling figure in his peripheral vision. once he was sure that gross excuse of a person was going to stay down he turned to you.

his entire body language changed; his arms turning from tense limbs into a welcoming place to rest in, his chest forming into a warm pillow to fall into, his eyes from a slaughtering rage into a kind and sympathetic expression. your tears were already flowing as you sank into his embrace. he engulfed you completely, shielding you from everything and anyone, soothing the intense fear and horror you just experienced.

"you're okay now, baby. i got you, i got you."

his tone was smooth like honey, the words pulling you further in his secure clutch. the screaming must've attracted a few people, because before you knew it your hug was interrupted by him gently loosening his grasp and lowering his voice.

"we should get home, we don't want this hellhole to become a exhibition. here-"

he unwrapped his arms and pulled his grey hoodie over his head and handed the clothing article to you.

"wear this, baby."

you accepted his hoodie and threw it over your upper body. when you were finished sapnap grabbed your hand and guided you out the alleyway and turning a corner. his car was parked a little further.

"i wanted to give you a nice ride through the outer city, but i think you'd rather be home, am i right?"

you nodded. your face was stung by the wet streaks on your face with the cooling air hitting your features. you eventually reached the car, sapnap sitting down into the driver's position and you plopping down onto the passenger seat.

—

the soft revving of the car's engine made for a nice background noise as you drove over to sapnap's house. you reached the destination quicker than expected. time didn't feel like it was passing at this point.

your legs refused to move, even when sapnap opened the door for you. sapnap, understanding the situation, picked you up bridal-style and carried you and your bag out the vehicle.

—

your body was weak, both from the late hours of the night and your vivid memory of what happened about half an hour ago. the mattress sank next to you as you snuggled further under the covers. sapnap radiated warmth, making you move your body towards him and latching onto him like a koala.

"rest, angel. we'll talk about it in the morning."

his voice reverberated in his chest, the vibrations bringing you comfort. his hand found a good spot on the top of your head, lightly pushing it into him.

"good night, (y/n)."

you hummed as a response before passing out. sapnapchuckled at your cute resting face.

"sleep well, baby. you deserve it."

—

thank you for reading. please don't be too harsh on me, heh

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