#all i need is them mis amores ill never need anyone else ever as long as i have them both

[1980ssunflower]

AOAUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MIS AMORESSS

[forever-rogue]

Hi Patricia <3 i saw only 1 Pero Tovar on your list but I love it. I'd like to send a request. Pero taking care of you when you're sick/injured (cold, twisted ankle, something minor) full worry mode and a bit in over his head.

This is just some softness 🥺💕 I hope you enjoy!

Pero Tovar x Fem!Reader ; warnings: none

Pedro Characters Masterlist 

»»————-　♡　————-««

You sighed heavily as you listened to the roosters and other nesting birds start to rustle around. Your whole body was tired and acting, your nose was stuffed, a deep cough lingered in your chest, and you just felt so run down. 

It was likely just a cold, something you were often plagued with during the colder months, but usually worked through them. Today was no exception - there was much to do around the farm and the house and it allotted almost no down time. A storm was coming as well and you wanted to make sure that Pero had as much help as possible.

Reaching for the glass of water at the bedside table, you quickly downed it all in go. You hadn't remembered leaving it there the night before, meaning that Pero must have heard you tossing, turning, and sniffling throughout the night. Taking a moment to close your eyes, you willed yourself to gather up all of your strength to get out of bed and go about your day.

"What are you doing, mi amor?" at the sound of its warm, soft voice, your eyes snapped open and met the gentle, brown eyes of your husband. He came over and knelt at your side, his large hands finding your face as he looked you over, "you must go back to sleep and rest."

"I can't," you insisted meekly as he pressed a kiss to your forehead, "we have work to do, and I don't want you to do it all."

"Nonsense," he insisted softly as he tried to push you back into bed with a firm, but gentle touch, "you are exhausted and you need to rest. You won't do anyone any good while you feel and look like death."

"Thank you for your kind words dear husband," you managed to laugh momentarily before it turned into a coughing fit. He raised an eyebrow as if to say 'see' and you rolled your eyes dramatically, "fine. I will stay in this bed only until I feel better since I appear to look like death."

"Even in such a state you are more beautiful than all the stars and moon," he pulled the thick down blanket over you before tucking it around your shivering form, "now I just want you to feel better. Please rest for me?"

"Are you going to dote on me like a mother hen the entire time?" you teased lightly as it was his turn to roll his eyes. For how rough and gruff he appeared to be, he always managed to have a soft spot for you.

"If that's what is required for you to rest so you can get better, then yes," he brushed some of the stray hairs off your face before using the back of his hand to feel your forehead, "now get some rest. I will fetch you some breakfast and then tend to the chores. There is no rush, but you must take it easy to get better. Yes?"

"Yes Pero," your eyes felt like they were already getting heavy as you laid against the soft pillows and relaxed, "I love you."

"I love you," he replied with a gentle touch to your cheek, "I'll be back shortly."

»»————-　♡　————-««

"Come on," he whispered softly when he came back with a tray of breakfast in his hands. You offered him a sleepy smile before sitting up and scooting over so he would have some room. He placed the tray on your lap before giving you a curious look, "what are you doing?"

"Join me," you insisted as he laughed lightly before getting into bed next to you. Normally you'd be nervous about him catching whatever you had, but if he were to catch it, he would have already done so. The man had a strong immune system it appeared, unlike you, "eat with me."

"You're the one that needs to eat," he reminded as you scoffed and took a piece of bread, and stuffing it gently into his mouth before he could argue.

"As do you," you grabbed a spoon of porridge, "and don't argue with me. I know you have not yourself broken your fast."

"And just how do you know this?" he grinned  through a mouthful of bread layered with butter and jam.

"I know my husband," you reminded him, "am I wrong?"

"Of course not," he said softly as you laughed at him, "you always did know me like no other."

"That's because I am your wife - and I love you," you grabbed another spoonful and continued eating. It didn't take long before you were done and there weren't even any crumbs left. You hadn't realized just how ravenous you were, but apparently your illness had really taken everything out of you.

"Have you had enough?" Pero offered you a questioning look as you nodded, "even though I took half of your food?"

"You made plenty and then some - don't worry mother hen, I am adequately nourished."

"Good," he kissed the top of your head, "now back to rest, I am going to bring you tea and water. Later we can have a hot bath. How does that sound, mi amor?"

"That sounds perfect," you mumbled as you burrowed into the pillows and blankets, "thank you for taking care of me."

"I would do anything for you," he promised as you gave him the sweet, saccharine smile he had fallen in love with, "now stop talking, and go to sleep!"

»»————-　♡　————-««

Pero spent the next several days closely tending to your every need and whim. You felt bad that he had to deal with everything around the house and small farm on his own, but he didn't even complain for a moment. It was hard work, surely, but he didn't mind doing it. If nothing else, it reminded him of how hard both of you worked.

He'd get up before the sun, start work and then stop to prepare breakfast for the both of you before going back to work for the day. Pero would make it a point to come in and check on you and see if you needed water or anything else. 

Because of all the rest and careful looking after, it wasn't long before you were feeling better, and far away from death's door.

At the end of the long week, you finally felt well enough to get up and around to tending to some of the house chores. You spied your husband outside, feeding the goats and sheep as he appeared to sing to them. You'd heard it before, well aware of his soft and gentle demeanor, but he'd never admit it. It was still endearing.

A warm settled over your heart as you started to gather items to make his favorite meal for dinner; it was slightly more tedious and sucked up lost of your energy, but you were glad to do it. He had looked after you so well, you wanted to give him a little something in return. 

»»————-　♡　————-««

"What in the heavens?" Pero was hit by the smell of delicious cooking as soon as he walked in and found your busy setting the small table, "my sweetest wife, what are you up to? You should be resting!"

"I am feeling much, much better, mi amor," you beamed as he pulled you into his arms and pressed a kiss to your temple, "all because of your wonderful care. I couldn't help myself - I wanted to do something special for you too."

"You didn't have to," his expression softened as his eyes crinkled in the corners in the way you adored, "this is…"

"I wanted too, Pero," you insisted with a soft kiss to his plush lips, "you always take such good care of me, let me take care of you too. And don't argue with me for once in your life!"

"Alright," he agreed with a quick peck, "but tell me what I can do to help."

"Since you are so insistent," you pointed at the small stove, "start plating up the food. Afterwards, I have one more surprise for you!"

»»————-　♡　————-««

"Pero? Where are you my love?" you'd just finished pouring hot water in the tub and perfuming it with soft oils. Your own body was aching and screaming for the relief, but you wanted your husband to join you first.

"Coming!" you heard his quick footsteps coming towards the bathroom, hoping he wasn't worried that you'd done something to hurt yourself. He almost burst into the small bathroom, a worried expression that quickly turned to surprise coloring using features, "what's this?"

"A surprise," you grinned, pointing at the tub, "for both of us. I thought we could both use this."

"A perfect end to the day," he melted under your watchful gaze. You started to pull off your dress, feeling his eyes on you. He motioned for you to come closer, to which you easily complied, before tenderly helping to strip you of your garments, "such grace and beauty."

"You flatter me," you sighed contentedly as he kissed along your bare shoulder, "I'm starting to feel tired again and the hot water is calling my name. Here - your turn."

You turned him around and slowly - reverently - started to strip him of his clothing. Bit by bit until all clothes were on the floor and the two of you were as bare as the day you were born. He held your hand and helped you into the tub, quickly stepping in after you.

Pero laid against the back of the tub before pulling you against his chest. You eagerly settled against him, and he wasted no time in wrapping his arms around you. Moments like this, where it was just the two of you, quiet and gentle, were your favorites. Because they didn't happen incredibly often, you'd learned to cherish them.

"I love you, Pero," you whispered softly as your eyes closed you listened to the soft beat of his heart, "thank you for everything. You always take the best care of me and you mean more to me than you will ever know."

"I love you, mi amor," he agreed, "I've always got you. Rest now, my sweetest wife."

And so you did; it wasn't long before your eyes were closed and you were fast asleep. Pero let you sleep for a little while before he gently washed your body and hair; you were half aware of what was going on, a small smile tugging on your features. When he was done and you were dried and dressed in clean clothing, he brought you to bed, tucking in you before getting into his side and doing the same. Before he did anything else, he pulled you into his arms and you fell asleep on his chest.

"I love you so much, mi amor," he whispered as he started to fall asleep, listening to your soft snores, "always."

»»————-　♡　————-««

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[professormembranexreader]

Membrane x Fem! Reader x Clembrane (OOO BABY A TRIPLE)

TW: Toxic Relationships, Mental Illness, Roleplay, Degradation, BDSM

(Y/N)'s POV

It was weird, what we had. It wasn't the norm, but things couldn't be too normal when there is a failed clone of a man along with said man living in the same household.

The norm was very different in the Membrane home. Instead of a nuclear family system,  Membrane allowed Clem to be a second father to his children. Meaning I was unofficially married to both of them. When one was busy, the other was there to spend time with me. Not to mention it meant the kids had more chances to play with their dads.

In reality, the only con was the cooking situation. Both of them were cooking disasters. One made toast with a blowtorch and the other made semi-edible pudding appear out of nowhere. Needless to say, neither were allowed in the kitchen. Due to that, I did all the cooking. Which lead to a good thing about the situation. Every meal, we would eat as a family. And it was comforting to know that no matter what I made, it would be better than anyone else could do.

But I still had my doubts. I try to be a good wife for my husbands. I spend time with the kids with them, I cook for them, I occasionally clean... but it never feels good enough. No matter how much I kid myself, Clem isn't human, and Membrane cares about science more than he cares about me.

It wasn't the norm, that's for sure. But it was our norm. And the closest we could get to a real family. After all this talk, I should probably say where they are. Membrane was going to be coming home any minute now and Clem was currently outside with the kids. I didn't feel like joining them, so I was preparing dinner.

Lately, Membrane has been bringing home his work attitude—not the friendly goofball I fell in love with. He was distant, and more reserved. Outgoing, still, but he was different. He didn't treat me like a wife—more like that of a coworker he was having an affair with.

Distantly, the door slammed. He was home.

"How was work tod-" he cut me off before I could finish.

"Office. Now." His smooth baritone voice whispered. I set down the potato I was peeling and followed him to his office. He only ever ordered me around like that for sex.

My eyelids drooped. I wasn't feeling it right now, but maybe I would once we got into it. It may happen. Even if I had the strength to say no, he wouldn't take it as an answer. I slowly trudged my way to his office.

He was waiting for me. He cleared off his desk and shoved me on it. It hurt.

"You want that promotion?" He asked. So this was our roleplay this time. It took everything in me to shake my head yes. He yanked me off the desk and forced me onto my knees.

"Then you better get to work." I unbuttoned his pants, unzipping them as well. His cock's outline bulged through his underwear and top. It was stuck standing vertically via the waistband. I pulled his boxers down and it landed right next to my mouth.

I took a deep breath and sighed outwardly before running my tongue across his length. After a few licks, he grew impatient and forced me to suck on his dick.

He groaned as I began to hum against him. "Estás como una puta, ¿sabes?" He said. It hurt, but I didn't let it faze me. I just continued to suck and hollow out my cheeks. "Apuesto que te encanta el sabor de mi semen." He moaned out.

Each dirty comment both dampened my mood and my panties. While I hated it, it never failed to get me wet. I began to whine on his dick. The vibration sent him over the edge and caused him to cum in my mouth without warning. The saltiness caught me off guard; I almost gagged.

He wiped some semen off of my lips and kissed me, tasting himself. In this motion he lifted me and carried me up by my thighs and started to go to the bedroom. Despite my safety being secure, I held onto him for my life. We broke the kiss and panted, gasping for air. He continued to carry me to the bedroom as he laid kisses upon my neck.

He pushed the door open and threw me onto the bed. I went ahead and took off my clothes as he did the same. Once we were down to our underwear, he got on top of me and pinned my hands above my head.

He dragged his tongue across my neck, making me shudder in anticipation.  "Me dejas regresar el favor, mi amor." He whispered into my neck. "Quiero."

"Then go ahead." I breathed. He released my hands and shifted his head towards my sex. He spread my legs like butter. He stuck out his tongue and licked up and down my vagina before entering. I felt him from inside me. Tasting me. Teasing me. He shifted my hips and prodded even further. My hands clutched his hair as he pleasured me. The constant sensation of his tongue pulsing within me drove me crazy in the best of ways. I tried my best to stifle my moans and whimpers, but was only partially successful. It was enough for the kids not to hear at least.

It wasn't long before I lost myself to him. I felt my eyes cross as a knot in my stomach began to unravel. And just like that, I came on his face. He lapped up what he could hungrily. After he decided he was done, he lifted himself up and looked me in my eyes.

"Te cogeré muy fuerte, verás estrellas para meses." My face was already flushed, but it somehow got redder at the saucy Spanish.

He smirked, put a condom on, and began to position his cock to line up with me. I was still coming down from my high when, using his hand, he lifted me up by my ass and sheathed himself in me. He paused momentarily to let me adjust, but after that, he was ruthless. He began at a brisk pace, pumping inside me like there was no tomorrow. Maybe he wanted it to be over with. Maybe he was just doing this to get off. But it didn't matter. In the moment all that mattered was us. My nails clawed his back, leaving long red trails down his shoulder blades. He continued to thrust while I tried to keep quiet. If we were lucky, Clem was rebuilding the "spaceship" the kids found and no one would hear.

The act continued until he managed to hit my G-spot. I bit down sharply on my lip and tasted blood. He got the hint and re adjusted his position so that he would be focused on that point. Recklessly, he slammed into me. Over. And over. And over. The familiar knot reappeared and was dangerously close to coming undone.

"Babe- I'm close!" I choked out between moans. He grunted a small "mhmm" and kept thrusting. It quickly turned sloppy as he picked up the pace. A few moments later, I came once more. Seconds later, I felt the condom fill inside me. It was still weird how much cum he actually produces.

Carefully he pulled out and tossed the used condom in the trash. I was still splayed out on the bed as he began to pull his clothes back on.

"Where are you going?" I asked in a moment of clarity. He looked at my trembling form and continued to walk away.

My heart broke as I heard his heavy footsteps echo through the halls. I covered myself with the bedsheets and softly began to sob. I felt used. Abandoned. Neglected. Tears stained the sheets as I heard another set of footsteps near the door.

"Have you come back here to taunt me?" I barked. I pulled the sheets up to cover my breasts as the door began to open. It was Clem. I reached out for him and he came rushing to me.

"What's wROng, (Y/N)?" He asked. (I'm gonna get sick of writing his voice I'm already telling you.)

"He just left me here, Clem." I sputtered. "He fucked me and then he LEFT!"

Clem put a comforting hand on my back and began to rub circles. He let me cry openly into his broad chest as I mumbled about what had happened.

"I didn't even want to do it in the first place! I was just cooking dinner and he said-"

"Shhhhh. (Y/N). YoU nEEd to cAlm dOWn." He didn't looked me in the eye when I finally stopped crying. I tried to meet his gaze, but he kept avoiding me.

"Please don't ignore me, Clem." I mumbled, barely above a whisper.

He took my head in his rounded hands and said in the softest voice he could, "(Y/N). I wOuld nEVer lEAve yOU."

I looked up to him with pleading eyes. "Never?

"NEVeR." He said. I smiled as one last tears rolled down my cheek.

I embraced him the best I could. "Thank you, Clem," I began. "Thank you so much."

He returned the hug and placed his head on top of mine. I heard him whisper several sweet nothings as I began to drift off to sleep.

He pulled away slightly, before I tugged him closer. "Stay with me. Please." I begged. I didn't want to be left again. I didn't think I could handle it.

I scooted over and made room for him on the bed. I gently patted next to me in hopes that he would lay down next to me.

He hesitated, but decided to do it. He laid down next to me and we started spooning. I heard a surprised gasp from Clem when he pulled my closer underneath the sheets.

"(Y/N)!" He whisper shouted.

"Yes, Clem?"

"YoU'Re nAked!!!" I couldn't help but laugh at his childish nature. I turned towards him and pressed myself closer.

"Yes, Clem. I am naked." I laughed. He was so precious and pure. If the the neighbor boy really did make him, he managed to get the best parts of Membrane in there.

"ShOUld I bE nAked??" He asked. Once again, a giggle bubbles up from my throat.

"Only if you want to, Clem. Only if you want to." I said, reaching out and writing something on a sticky note.

"I'm gOing to kEEp mY clOthes On, thAnk yOu vERy muCH." He said, turning up his nonexistent nose to the idea of dressing himself down.

I turned back at him. "Then you don't have to." I snuggled closer to him. He was practically a nonhuman heater.

Smiling, I placed a kiss on his chin as I got comfortable. I smiled. This is what our relationship should be, Miguel. This is what I need it to be.

And though I may not have it with you right now, I'm happy to have it in with Clem.

Outside POV

Miguel cleaned up the half prepared dinner and ordered Foodio to come out of retirement and make something once more, to which he eagerly accepted. For the remainder of time before the food was ready, he simply worked.

Gaz eyed her dad suspiciously as he ate. She was smart enough to know what happened. And she was smart enough to know he should have stayed.

Once Dib left to go back to terrorizing Zim, she confronted her father about it. The argument between the man and his child got heated. Gaz finally convinced him to check on (Y/N).

Trudging up the stairs, he opened the door to see (Y/N) and Clem cuddling and sleeping together. On the nightstand, there was a post-it note with (Y/N)'s handwriting on it.

"I miss the times like this, Miguel. We need to come back to this."

That night Membrane got into bed with them. It wasn't much, but it was the start of him trying to be there.

[judgement-free-sideblog]

Blood, tears and sea breeze

Warnings: ANGST, mental health issues, graphic depictions of violence, blood, cursing, mentions of sexual assault, mentions of sex, substance abuse.

Summary: The not so peaceful town of Broadchurch face dead again, while Alec Hardy continues his journey to redemption will this school teacher be the key to solve the mystery or just another victim of the ever watching evilness that seems to reside in the town.

First Previous Last

Chapter 22: Handkerchief

"Jonathan Norbury arrived at Broadchurch five years ago, to open an electronic shop owned by his father, replacing a mildly successful motorcycle shop" The lawyer had put an unbelieving emphasis in the word successful, you asume it was on purpose to get a reaction from the man being question, and sitting two meters away from Jonathan you knew she was successful in railing him up "He had, by his own account" She pointed at the speaker where they had played one more time his voicemail to Ashley "An unpleasant experience with woman in a bar that inspire him to go to AA, and therefore had a religious awakening that result in meeting Y/N, Y/L/N" you start crushing a napkin you had in your hand, and DS Miller must have seen how nervous you were because she hold on your hand in hers and gave you a little squeeze, "That woman he meet turn out to be your sister, is that correct Mr. Langford" she addressed the man who was completely bsorbed by his own hands.

It had been almost five months since they pull a very wrecked Ashley away from you, five months of endless paperwork, four since you were actually free to walk without a police officer escorting you, and only one since the actual system to punish those responsible for Jonathan was in motion. They even have someone of his first AA group who testified about the drunk girl story, and you suspect it was because of Paul that he came forward, and you were glad to at least still having him.

"Yes" he responded completely uninterested

"Does Jonathan Norbury had any further contacts with your sister after that?" She asked trying to not loose her patience with him and with his attitude.

"No"

"Excellent. Then after he meet mis Y/L/N and start an amorous relationship with her and make your acquaintance did you or your sister ever brought this incident back?" You wanted to look up but somehow your eyes felt glued to your feet. "Or maybe when he proposed to mis Y/L/N after all you were friends since ypur early childhood, surely the dubious past of his partner was something important to discuss with her"

"No, we ... I didn't mention it" he said and you pull all of your strength in looking up, fearful of throwing up when you met his eyes, but you only saw that odd little boy always on the shadow of his parents, and even after all he had done you felt sorry for him, he met your gaze and look aside immediately with something almost as remorse in them "We knew his father threatened him with with stopping his allowance if he stayed with Y/N, and well I hope that if he actually left the store I could bought it back, that's why I asked him to my place to drink a few beers when he and Ash started sha... I mean a relationship" it was like a tap opening, once he started he was unstoppable, and his own attorney was so aware of it that he just kept looking at his phone.

"Ashley ... she began an affair with him, she had worked with Y/N older doctor before, I never really knew how she knew him, but she gave her ruffies so she could sneak out with him."

"So when did you start taking advantage of Miss Y/L/N" the tap was closed. And you held his look, this time you would definitely throw up, but you felt a tingle in the back of your neck, he was looking at you, he didn't think less of you, he had said it over and over again while you were questioned for those exact circumstances, but now his intense look on the back of your head make you believe it.

"I ..." he went silent for almost a whole minute and you thought that maybe he wouldn't answer "After a month or so of their affair, Jonathan asked me to look after her because he was never truly okay with her being drugged... I didn't planned it, but I have loved Y/N since the first moment I saw her, I know that what I did was wrong, but it was the only way she would be mine, I never hurt her..."

"Do you realize that you took advantage of a drugged, mentally ill woman? I'm sorry but I fail to see how just not hitting her or pointing a gun at her is not hurting her"

It seems like his lawyer was about to comment on something but a quick look at the dead glare of the judge made him realize he shouldn't.

"Why did you record her?"

"It was all for me, the editing and the voice came after, when Ashley... she said it would make Y/N look guiltier..."

"Please do continue, what where you expecting to get with all of this?"

"The plan was" Charles had said almost relieved of the change of subject, "Well it was my idea more or less... to pretend Jonathan had an accident on his way to london the day he disappeared, so they collected some of his blood in the week prior to set the scene, Ashley volunteered at a hospital at some point before Uni so she knew how... but he well he found out about me and Y/N and he dump Ashley he was really mad at us" he said, almost like he wouldn't understand why he was so angry with them.

Ashley was useless past that point in her questioning, she seemed incapable of accepting that Jonathan had in fact broken up their affair, that's why she was not at court that day, but at that point Charles seemed completely over with the whole situation and began confessing everything.

"Jonathan had sex with Ashley before she went out with Y/N, I guess he knew she will act ou so he tried to keep her happy for as long as possible... so she would not be suspicious about him. Then he went back to Y/N place to try to explain everything to her, but she was still at work, he call her to break up with her but she stop answering so he left that voicemail, but she ignored him, that's why he tried to stop her from hurting Y/N again... Ashley sent me to stop him from telling the truth, I made him write the letter leaving Y/N... I wasn't completely sober at the time, he had told me that night he saw us that he was leaving with her and I didn't want him to take her away from me, so I took him to his shop... he was very desperate he even tried to convince me to let him go, he said he will give me the shop back..." He said and the knot in your stomach became tighter, the air was no longer filling your lungs "I didn't mean to, but he start saying thos awful things about me... I just... when I realized how hard I was holding his neck he was no longer moving, I tried to give him CPR but it didn't work..."

"Miss Y/L/N you can't leave the room!" you heard your attorney scream far away but you needed air and a bathroom, fortunately there was one very close, you wonder how common would vomiting would be for that to happen, but you couldn't think it trough because another round of retches made you empty the nice breakfast Beth had gave you that morning, after insisting in going to your place at dawn to help you get ready.

When you look up ther was a white handkerchief ready for you, he had followed you with quick and silent steps and was now there doing those perfect little things that certainly made your life easier.

"Thank you" you said embarrassed, and you felt glad that you were embarrassed because you had vomited and not for all the other things.

"Are you okay?... I mean you're obviously not, but I..."

"I'm better now DI Hardy, truly" you said walking towards the sink and opening the faucet to wash your hands "I have read his confession but somehow listening to him made it real... I don't know, I'm being stupid"

"You are not, this would be hard hard for anyone, I have been wanting to punch that bastard for the past thirty minutes" he said and he gave you that almost smile he had, and once again you thought that he may finally kiss you, like he had been doing for the past four months, not like the bathroom in a courtroom was the most romantic of places, but you have wanted that. Again that part of you that just wanted to leave it all behind, that part that desperately wanted peace, that part that hold on to his words on that cell it's only you...

"DI Hardy this is the ladies bathroom!, come out at once, they are waiting" Beth Latimer said opening the door and pulling you out, it was for the best truly, any possible future with him must be at pause until this whole thing would be over, and you were glad to see the annoyance in his face, maybe this time he also wanted something else to happen.

"Are you able to continue miss Y/L/N?"

"Yes, I'm so sorry for the interruption" you said and took your sit.

"Fine, what does miss Langford did after you told him about mister Norbury decease?" She paus as of waiting for you to exit again, but you just shrugged.

"She blamed Y/N for his death, she said she had to pay for it, so she asked me to move the body to her place and she cut him, she put the blood on the floor and the letter she drive to Y/N school and gave her a small dose so she would be conscious but disoriented and left her at the bus stop, when she get home she saw me, she tried to help him, she punched me, and I did what Ashley told me, I gave her the letter and put her ring in one pocket and gave her the bracelet, Ashley said it was important to gave it to her."

You realize the tears in your eyes but this time you could only look at him, there was no room in your heart for anger or hate, there was only pain, even when you could imagine a happier life and a future the pain will be there, for evere and for ever, because you loved Ashley as part of your family, even when she hated you, and you loved Jonathan, his eyes, his bad jokes, even his darkest demons he thought he should hide from you, you loved him more after knowing about them, because it was all part of him and of his heart, his beautiful heart that was no longer with you.

In the end even when they were locked away for ever you would never be happy about it, because losing them would not make you happy, you would never have him next to you in the morning, or a tea with her in the afternoon, and you realized she had won in one thing, she had tarnished all your memories, and you will have to live with that for ever, she took everything from you, even her.

****

"So what about the lipstick, the sex toys, and all the other evidence presented here??" Derek asked looking at the pile of evidence that seem to delivery lead to nowhere. "Was all of this useful in the end??"

"Yes and no." Miller said offering a cup of tea "Langford wanted Y/N to look more guilty making the case apparently hard to make her look less like a victim" so she make everything more complicated than it had to be."

"Well at least it was impossible to exonerate her from Norbury's murder" Harford said putting down the Echo of that morning, the trial had been long and emotional but with good results at least for them as law enforcement. "But I still can't believe they have to wait that long for sentence them for the murder of Y/N parents"

"All on his time I guess" Derek said and took a biscuit from the tray Miller had "The teacher is leaving town after all isn't it?"

"Yeah, Alec... DI Hardy is leaving her at the station, is the best for her I guess" Miller said maybe a bit disappointed since her life had been almost perfect for the past half of the year, after a couple days at he hospital she and Brian have been happy and at peace, she even took a couple days off to go to Scotland with her kids.

She wish the same for him, however she agreed that Y/N was not ready for another relationship so soon, she just hope Hardy would be fine on his own.

***

"You have everything dear?" Beth asked for the twelfth time

"I do Beth, passport, clean clothes, money, everything"

"Fine" she said more sad than angry "You really don't have to go that far to teach, just go to the next city I'm sure the don't know your name."

"I'm pretty sure they do, but hey I will call when I get to London and again when I land in France, I promise" Beth gave her one last hug goodbye and let Paul talk to her.

"Don't" Y/N said before he could start, "None of this, of any of this is your fault, thank you for being by my side, thank you for being in my life. I love you Paul"

"I truly love you too, there is nice congregation in the town you'll be working, I email the reverend and he will look after you" he said happy.

"Thanks dad" she said, but she was way to move to make another snarky remark. "Beth help me with her luggage" he said to left room for her and Hardy to have a proper goodbye.

"Are you planning on kissing me Detective?" She asked out of the blue, just the kind of question and attitude that he had learned to love.

"I..." he thought about not responding but he was sure this may be his only chance and the other were thankfully far apart. "I was thinking about doing it, but now I won't" he said happy to make her blink perplex.

"Well you should rethink that since I'm leaving for a whole semester, maybe I'll found a handsome French village boy and I don't come back" she said playing along.

"That may be good for you" he said killing the joke. "Y/N I'm to old, to sick and too stubborn not just for you but for everyone, when you said you would leave I was sad, but also glad, you deserve to be happy and not going feeling like you have to comeback."

"And what if I want to? What if I'm happy to be with you no matter how old, how sick and how stubborn you could be? That's not up to you DI Hardy... if I come back Alec, it will be because I want it no matter what you or anyone else has to say, I have spent most of my life listening to others, waiting, being cautious I'm done doing that I'm done being afraid" she said and short the distance between the two.

"I can't" he said pressing his forehead to hers, "I love you Y/N, if I kiss you now I would never be at peace knowing you are gone, it will consume me, you are right, you have to leave, I'll be right here, not waiting, hoping"

"You are the worst detective" she said and gave him a kiss on his cheek "and I think I love you too, I promise you I'll see you again" she said and run inside the train the fast that she could so she wouldn't regret her choice. And a few minutes later he, broadchurch, and blue sea sky were gone.

Tag list:

@allonsymexgirl @laciesaito @dazedkrosupreme @timey-wimey-lovi @coffees-and-constellations @acid-gurkerl @moonuvert @tennantious @nonstoplover @locawriter @tf18unipups @dazedkrosupreme

[polygamyff]

35. Part 9

Feeling the sharp pain in my foot as I moved it “uh, ah” looking down at myself with my eyes still feeling ever so heavy, I winced in pain resting my head back. This really hurts me, I sighed out looking to the side of me and my smile grew. Robyn and I just slept like this; she is still holding my hand. This is the cutest thing I have seen in a while, besides my daughter but she really held my hand still, all them hours. This really caught my heart to see, I am not even moving my hand actually, I am keeping it right there. Lifting my head forward a little, she is going to be in pain when she wakes up but she looks like she is sleeping well and looks kind of content, I am sad she don’t have no blanket on or anything when I asked her to have a bed. Resting my head back, I hate this stupid oxygen mask with a passion. Using my free hand and yanked off from me, I don’t like it and I don’t want it on me at all. I will not be moving my hand; I love this so much. I want to marry her, she doesn’t understand this at all, she doesn’t understand how much I can’t wait to call her wife, I mean she is my wife but I want it official. Speaking to Wade he said it would be so much easier for us, in terms of how things will automatically go to her, no fussing or fighting. I will get my divorce, but I want to marry Robyn on her birthday, I say her birthday because then I will always remember it. I also don’t want Robyn to think I am being tight, and that I am not going out of my way to not give her the world but I just want it with minimum fuss and I will do the biggest most lavish party for her, I am not sure what her plan is. She may turn around and say to me she wants a big wedding but I will also take that on, I can make a wedding happen in days, I have the money “oh shit” how can I forget, it’s that stupid event they call Valentine’s Day coming up. I am stuck in this shit ass place; well I can always make Ally run around for me but that will be on my to do list straight away.

I do feel like shit again, I have been awake since and I think I need my medication “it’s me” the nurse finally is here “took your time” I said as she walked in “I did? It’s seven Maurice, I didn’t know you was awake” I am grumpy now “I didn’t know what time it was; I need my medication. The pain, I can feel it” she needs to hurry the fuck up and give me something “Maurice, if you want us to release you. You need to calm down, stress also makes it worse. Talk about it” rolling my eyes groaning out “being here is stressing me out, I have a business to run” she don’t understand “you also have a ulcer on your foot, which can take a month to heal. You will end up back here you know that right?” the nurse started to place her latex gloves on “I can get better you know” this nurse is side eyeing me and I am doing the same, thinks I will be back here which I won’t be “I will speak to your doctor, he may need to inject you again, he may need to give you it to take home too. Here” she held out my tablets “you going to let her hand go?” looking over at my hand and Robyn’ “mhmm I don’t want to really but I suppose I got not choice” my hand was getting a little sweaty “that is adorable, I must add” I smiled at her “we are adorable” I said in agreement.

I want Robyn to wake up, we need to have breakfast, I can’t eat without her “Robyn” tapping her hand that is hanging over the arm rest “Robyn, Bonita. Mi amor, por qué no te despiertas, te extraño” she is really not waking up, she must be really tired “you know, I kind of understand why you are reluctant in marrying me. I am a soon to be divorced man, an ill man, I mean I got money but I don’t have much to go on do I? but it’s nothing to do with anything, I want to marry you because I trust you, if I was to drop dead I know you would get everything, no hassle at all. But I get why you don’t, imagine being a young lady and then being with a guy that pissing in a bag, shit. I wouldn’t marry me either, it’s not cute. But I shall try again Robyn, see if you do take pity on me. I do love you so much, this old man loves you and I feel like I have aged ten years, I feel old inside. It’s actually easier to speak to you asleep, then you don’t have to give me false ideas about shit. Thank you for coming to my ted talk” I blew out air, I am very bored right now and I do have my phone but I don’t want to speak to anyone, I am not in the mood for it. I just want to be alone; Ally can handle it all she is good like that.

You would think there is so much other shit going on in the world that my name didn’t need to be mentioned, imagine that. Watching Good Morning America innocently and my face pops up, I mean there is other shit happening in the world. It’s just shit, and they use the worst videos of me, the ones where I am leaving the clubs “well we do hope he makes a speedy recovery, because who else is heir to the company?” George said “it was said he is trying to put it under his daughter’ name but Marquis has not fully gave him the company, so it would go to Malik, his younger brother now I don’t know how it would work out, things didn’t look good in Dubai. He has been seen with his wife Naomi Davenport, she has come out and has said she wishes the best for Maurice, hope he gets better when we saw her last night, this is what she had to say” frowning at the TV “do you know about Maurice being in Hospital? What do you have to say?” the guy asked “wish him the best, hope he gets better. He will never change his ways. I tried with him, thank you” she got into the SUV, shaking my head in annoyance “that is what she had to say about the situation, I do hope he gets better and that he brings to light how serious this illness is-“ turning off the TV, I am done with it “my neck, my god!” Robyn groaned out, my eyes widened “you’re awake” I am like an excited child right now, she has taken her time “I think I need a neck brace” Robyn said as she tried to stretch her neck slowly “I can massage it for you?” I offered “it’s ok, you had a good sleep yeah?” nodding my head, like she is even looking at me “I mean yes, I waited on you so we can have breakfast together” least my leg is feeling a little better but I still feel like shit “ok, I will get ready first though, change of clothes and brush my teeth” I grinned at her “I will wait here for you” I mean I am trying to be funny, I can’t go anywhere fast.

I had to take some painkillers for that, my back is a mess “did this come from iHop?” I said trying to not laugh “you ain’t ever going to drop that are you?” shaking my head laughing “I mean I will soon, did you sleep well yeah? When did you wake up?” even though I was in a chair, I slept like a baby because I was really tired “I would reckon I woke up about six, I woke up early and then I got so bored just waiting but I woke up in such a surprise, you was holding my hand still. You didn’t let go, it really made me happy to see that. I love you” I chuckled “it was comfortable, I also wanted you to be comfortable, I know how unsettled you are feeling, and I wanted you to fall asleep, then you did. All I want is for you to get better, and I want to be here to support that. Even if that means hold back on going back to California, as long as you’re ok first. And besides, you left me alone with Channing, I could lust in peace” I giggled “you get wet too?” he questioned, I shrugged “maybe, I am joking with you. But I watched it all and then fell asleep, warmed my heart seeing you sleep though. How are you feeling that they may discharge you today? I hope they do, I can’t do that chair again” I need to go home “good, I guess” raising an eyebrow “I know with patients they tend to get used to this, sense of security. I know their faces when I say they can leave, why don’t you want to go?” Maurice shrugged “I am ok with it” I won’t push him on it, he is clearly feeling a type of way about something, he will speak to me when he feels right.

Pulling a face “when was you feeling pain, in the morning?” I asked, the doctor is injecting him and that is like a step back “yeah, I said to the nurse. So, what you suggest now? You said the new medication was working” the doctor placed his covers over his leg “that I am going to give you a set of injections, remember I only gave you one when you came in. That was it, the tablets you take. I want to discharge you still. Unless you worsen but I don’t see it happening, these injections are very powerful, it took a few days to wear off didn’t it. The thing with these, is that they make you tired, sleepy and it’s not good for the reproductive part. Before you say to me no, this is not a full-time solution, the tablets will work. They take a week to get in the system, this is just temporary fix for it. You need to have the injections until the tablets can fully work, Maurice we need to let the tablets work” Maurice is staring at his doctor like he wants to punch him and then he violently placed his head on the pillow “so you saying my dick don’t work?” he asked “it can affect it, but it’s not permanent” he looks so heartbroken “leave me alone” his little pootie face, like I am sad for him but I don’t want to say anything to him.

Maurice is very upset, I don’t know what to say to him because I may annoy him if I do but then I don’t like to see him like this either “Maurice” turning the chair to him “baby, listen to me. It’s not anything bad, medication can have those affects if he knew it was permanent he wouldn’t have done it but he knows it’s not, everything will go back to normal” I am not worried at all “I am impotant, he did that and he didn’t warn me” pressing my lips into a hard thin line “you’re not impotant Maurice, he did it because he was helping the pain. It’s just for now, it’s not bad Maurice. It will be just for now, then the tablets will fully kick in, I’ve done it before where I have to make the decision because that is my patient and I have to make them feel better” Maurice huffed out “I don’t want to fucking know, just don’t look at me” he moved away from me “I can leave you alone if you want, you will be falling asleep soon anyways. Maurice, I do love you” Maurice shook his head, he is so upset “I will give you space, I will be back” he needs space and I am probably annoying him.

I don’t really have much to do “hey!” I shouted at his doctor, he turned to me “oh hi, is he still upset?” nodding my head “is he getting discharged today?” I need confirmation “he will be” that is great “ok, thanks anyways” walking off, let me call Leon back as he did call me, but I couldn’t exactly call him back as I was with Maurice. Pressing my phone to my ear as I made my way to the cafeteria “Robyn, why didn’t you say? Maurice, is he ok? You out here not telling me shit!” I didn’t tell him, he is right “did mom tell you?” I did assume he would have found out quicker “yes, I just come to the house because you was supposed to be here, we was meeting remember” letting out an oh “yes oh!, but is he ok? I am sorry to hear about him” pressing the elevator button “erm, he is not taking things well, I will be here for a few weeks I would say but he is ok in the sense, he is in safe hands but yeah. He should make a recovery but he can’t walk on his foot so that is a bonus for me, valentines day is going to be dry” Leon cooed out “well his dick ain’t broke” I shouldn’t laugh but I smirked “you right, what are you doing anyways? What male is going to be dicking you down?” he always has somebody “erm! I will be doing the dicking but I do have a man, it’s actually a man that I think is a potential boo, imagine that. Leon being a taken man” I gasped “I would be so happy for you, is he cute?” walking onto the elevator “is his dick big? I mean we need that information, you tried before you buy?” Leon laughed out “oh chile, I did try. He is thick, in every fucking sense sis. Bitch he is cute, I can’t wait for you to meet him” that is serious for Leon “well when I arrive back, that is number one on the list, I need to see him. Send me pictures, of him! Not his dick, you always do that. If Maurice ever sees that, he would kill me. Just him, his face thanks” Leon gives me heart attacks, sending me dick picture of other men.

While he slept, I changed his dress on his foot, got his things laid out. Everything is set, just waiting on him to wake up. Least I know he will be sleeping at home; he seems to want to sleep more but I just want him better and I hate to see him so sad “coming in” the nurse said “oh hey” getting up from the chair “we have got him a wheelchair to get him back, also a stick for him to use when he wants to walk to and from the bathroom” he is not going to be amused, and he is awake “am I going now?” Maurice said opening his eyes looking over at the nurse “yes, that is what we are aiming for now, if you are ready to do that” Maurice nodded his head “I can take it from here, he will be ok”  I said to her, I can get my man out of bed and dress him “that is fine, I will get the discharge papers ready, just call me over” smiling at her as she left, looking down at Maurice. Placing my head over his head “I don’t want you upset ok, nothing upsets me more than you hurting. Listen to me when I say there is nothing to worry about, I have your clothes ready. Get you dressed so we can go. It’s cold outside so luckily, I have a blanket in here too. Get you ready” he looks so deflated, he is not speaking either so he is feeling defeated.

Dressing a grown man is way harder then dressing a child “so I need you to stand up for me, when you ready, pull your sweatpants up. Come, give me your hands. Do not put weight on your bandaged foot” grabbing Maurice’ hands “I won’t” he will be the one in pain “so, ready?” I said, he nodded his head smiling. Pulling back as he got up, balancing on one foot “there we go, just hold my shoulder” Maurice placed his hand on my shoulder, pulling up his sweatpants and then pulling his top down “I do appreciate it, thank you” zipping his jacket up “for what? I can only help you if you tell me. You know what, I am glad you’re not big with muscles, cause I don’t think I could push you, I am glad I got with a skinny man. Comes in handy” zipping his jacket all the way up “so I am good to have around, you tell the driver to the back yeah?” nodding my head “you will get used to hopping around on one leg soon, now you need to just sit in the chair for me” wrapping my arm around his back, he wrapped his arm around my shoulder “be slow now” he hopped towards the chair and then lowered himself onto it “I don’t want to see anybody when I get back” grabbing the blanket from the bed “that is fine” placing it over his legs “it’s cold out there, don’t worry about it. You can just sleep once you get back” placing the hood over his head.

Reaching over to Maurice’ hand, holding his hand “are you ok?” I asked, he is so quiet in the SUV, I mean he is quiet. I can tell he doesn’t wish to speak to anyone “it’s weak, it’s dumb. I hate it. I just need to have some space, I love you. I do but I just feel like my pride has been beaten out of me, humiliated” that is all in his mind “which is not true, baby I love you. It’s not humiliating, stop it. That is me being a wife towards you. This is why I do this for you, I care about you so much. If I know that what he did could harm you I would say, stop it come on” shuffling over to him “don’t cry Maurice, you love to be so prideful, I don’t want that for you. I want you to be happy, healthy too. The cloud will lift and I will be here, this doesn’t put me off you if you think that?”  Maurice wiped his tears quickly “I’m fed up, I just need time. I don’t want to see anybody, including my parents. I am not feeling it, just keep it between us” frowning at him “who am I going to tell? Why would I tell anyone any of this? I am sure that is what you’re used too but that is not me” I just need to give him space, some time to digest everything.

We entered the hotel through the back, nobody saw us at all coming through besides the hotel manager and we just got into the elevator. It was best we did come into the hotel from the back because I didn’t want anybody to see us “am I heavy? To push that is?” Maurice asked “erm not really, it’s ok. But you know you must say hi to your parents” the elevator door opened on the apartment floor “not really, I don’t” pushing him off the elevator “Maurice, my baby boy. You’re out!” Joy rushed over to him so quick “well you tried” I said to him “yes he has come out now, he just needs to rest” Joy rushed over to Maurice, moving away from the chair and stepping to the side “mom, please I just want to go to bed. Please, leave me alone” he really wants to be left alone “aww Reign, you with grandad?” Marquis is holding her like he don’t need a damn walking stick “Robyn please, push me to the room. I just need to sleep” Marquis just looked at Maurice and then walked off, he didn’t even utter a word.

Maurice is out of the way, he is in bed where he wants to be and alone “I have missed you so much! I really did, how was she?” taking Reign from Marquis “she was a delight!” he smiled “you happy to see mommy!?” Reign is here giggling “I am happy to see you, missed you” pressing a kiss to her cheek “she was very good but Marquis doesn’t know rules, he let her sleep when she wanted, which was naughty” I knew that was going to happen, Marquis is not happy Joy said that “is my brother back?” turning around, seeing both Nalah and Shawn “he is out yes but he doesn’t want to see anyone, at all. He is in bed, asleep by now” Nalah huffed out “he refused to see me at the hospital too, why? But is he ok?” Nalah said “erm, getting there” what more can I say, I hate to be the person to refuse people seeing someone but Maurice doesn’t want it.

[infinitydoublevenus]

the way i Feel

seems to belong

in another time period

no, i don’t mean discrimination

i don’t mean hate or ignorance

like you would think when someone says that

and neither do i intend to romanticize the tortures of past peoples

there were however

some aspects portrayed

perhaps inaccurately in the media

that resonated with me

if i ever found someone

whoever it would be

would they think

i am excessive 

in the way i spoke to them

exaggerative

in the way i spoke of them

outdated

when i whisper to them?

you see the things i want to see aren’t generally said anymore

and even if they are i never see it depicted anywhere

...well, except my own writing, of course.

which is why i’m posting this

anyways

most people just call their s/o today “baby”

i’m fine with that, but not the casual, slang, careless way it seems to be used

or they call them “bae”... gross. how shallow can you be?

maybe they do love 

but it feels so fake when they say that

ingenuine

not... real. 

the things someone would say

that would feel sincere to me?

you want me to list them? okay, sure.

this is the internet after all. there’s no physical crowd watching me, so why not.

“my love

my beloved

my sweetheart

du bist autemraubend 

te amo, mi amore

j’aime tu, bebe

i apologize if my grammar is incorrect, but

there aren’t enough languages in the world 

to describe what i feel strongly enough

it’s beyond words. they say actions speak louder

they’re right

actions have decibels beyond the sound barrier of Earth

i’m....

when it comes to things like that

in this kind of situation

softer than most

gentle

warm

slower than many would prefer

it’s not that i’m averse to the scenario

it’s just that it expresses what i feel better

because i feel everything

and i mean EVERYTHING in extremes

Chasing Cars said “Those three words are said too much; it’s not enough” 

and holy shit, i thought they were making things up

but i know for a fact that Snow Patrol was right

“you are the best thing in my life

i can’t not smile when i’m around you

you make me happier than i can explain”

in an ideal relationship

those are things i would probably say

i know i feel it for someone

i’m too afraid to tell her

we haven’t met in real life

even though i’ve known her since 2012

we might never

i don’t think she’d want to be with someone she only knows over the screen, no matter how much she trusts me

i know she’d want physical contact, snuggles and all that

i can’t provide that through a computer, unfortunately

and i don’t want to fuck up our friendship.

sure, i know most of the time it doesn’t do that

but there’s always that fear “what if this is one of those relationships that DOES get messed up by that?”

she doesn’t even know i’m gay

i would reveal

but i don’t want her even so much as suspecting i like her that way

can’t help

but imagine

that we would

not exactly

be best 

for each other

she likes someone else anyways. i’m not going to step in and ruin that for her

i want her to be happy

more than i care about my own feelings, to be honest. i know thats unhealthy

but its the truth

and i hate liars

and i hate bottling myself up

would anyone even show the consideration i’d need and want,

there aren’t many people out there

who would be with someone like me: queer, autistic, mentally ill, disabled... 

i know most people are becoming open minded

but especially in Virginia it’s hard to find them 

or that’s been my experience, at least

it’s not like my parents travel much either

and i don’t have a place to socialize now that i’m a Graduate

i would

but the funding is taking too long

to get to the place

that said they’d train me for a job

most of the people there aren’t the kind i’d get along with anyways

sure most of them are nd, but most are old men

there’s only a few younger adults and they look like they’re in their 40s already

and i rarely meet someone around my age

and i’m still fucking unemployed 

i can’t help but be bitter about it

it’s...

like i’m in a cold room

alone

isolated

a strong desire tugs at me, a craving, pulling 

stretching my heartstrings

that of want and need for companionship

even if i found someone

would it be solely them?

i don’t know

and the creature i’m hunting down?

its name, do you want to know it? of course you do.

well

it’s called

MY ANSWER 

[felicityb-reviews]

Review Roundup - February 2018 Week 1

Hello, my loves!! My name is Jace (aka Felicity B), and this is your Review Roundup for Week 1 of February 2018!!

So... Last Friday, I mentioned making some changes to my Review Roundup format. The reasoning being that as I've expanded my network of Korean music channels, It's become very clear to me that it's too difficult for me to write a substantial review of 25+ videos every week without each review mixing into the last. I've also come to realize that I can't include *every* song I find that happens to be in Korean, and that's fine!! Most songs are either ballads or OST ballads (which are even worse), and it's just not worth my time to flog those at you guys.

So, I'm gonna try to explain this to y'all as best as I can. It sounds more complicated than it is in practice, but I wanna give y'all an idea of what's going on.

I'm gonna present to you all the playlist of songs for the week. From there, you'll see a new segment called the Titacular Ten. Yes, I am aware "titacular" is not a word, but catch me not givin' a fuck in these streets. These guys are songs I enjoyed, but didn't like enough to put in the Fabulous Five. They'll be rated (*not* reviewed) according to my replayability scale.

And speaking of my rating scale, I've decided to add a new category called KoKoNotABop (because nothing brings me joy more than pissing off the stans of my favorite K-Pop group). This sits in between Conditional Replay and Trash Bomb with Shuffle Bait. I decided to add KoKoNotABop, because there wasn't really anything for those songs that weren't complete Trash Bombs, but fell short. I could enjoy these songs from time to time, but I wouldn't intentionally put them in a playlist, so I didn't want to call them Shuffle Bait. In short, I just wanted to expand the range of my extraness.

Moving on, you'll see the Honorable Mentions/Trash Bombs of the week after the Titacular Ten. The Honorable Mentions are tracks that didn't make it into the week's Fab Five, but I still wanted to speak on. And if you've seen my previous RRUs, you know what Trash Bombs are.

I haven't had to rated many songs as Trash Bombs, but that should be considered a small mercy. Y'all know how I get when I don't like a song

So!!

Let's get started!!

This Weeks' List

The Titacular Ten

Saturn (Nevada51 featuring Gayoung Seo of Spy Girls)

Rating - Heavy Rotation

Perfectly Perfect (MxM of BRANDNEWBOYS)

Rating - Heavy Rotation

BLOCKED (Ash-B featuring Cherry Coke)

Rating - Heavy Rotation

Ballad of Full Speed (Evolution of Sound)

Rating - Conditional Rotation

Grayish (JUNA)

Rating - Conditional Rotation

Run Away (Mona)

Rating - Heavy Rotation

To the sky (CLC)

Rating - Heavy Rotation

If (Day6)

Rating - Heavy Rotation

Mi Amor (CoCoSori)

Mi Amori Dance Practice

Rating - Heavy Rotation

Good Bye (Hong Jin Young)

Rating - Heavy Rotation

Honorable Mentions

You Have a Crush On Me (No Brain)

If you guys can believe it, this was the type of song I loved during my J-Pop days. Oh boy, does this take me back.

And yes, I do realize this song is literally a decade old. There are idols active in the industry that this song is older than. But I'm gonna need y'all to bring me some freshly prepared fucks to care.

The children deserve to know about No Brain!!

Crush On Me (sorry, that title is too long to be typing over and over) is a punk track that is fun, personified. Every time I queue up the song to play, I just wanna dance the night away~ have my own little party, dancing and singing along. And don't think that you can get away from this song unscathed, cause the hook (neon naege banhaesseo) will stick itself in your brain and torment you till you're singing along like a good little Baby Borgie.

No Brain is a band that I want every single NuGen K-Pop (2014/2015) fan to get into. Every single one of you. Cause while this band is hella talented (they've literally been in the game for twenty years), they don't write music to show it off. They write music because they fucking love it. And that's the best kind, sis. I could clock this song for a lot of things I'd clock a modern K-Pop song for, but I won't because this song is entirely too fun to be picked apart like a science experiment.

My main reason for including Crush On You was that I love how fun this song is, BUT!! I also wanted an excuse to include No Brain's collab stage with Lovelyz from the 2017 MBC Year End Song Festival.

Now *that* was a oollab stage, ladies.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

No Gravity (Yoon Mi Rae)

Yoon MiRae is the OG Korean Female Rapper.

That's not my bias speaking (although it's definitely showing), I've never heard anyone speak ill of Mirae. NEVAH!! And I mean, why would they want to!?!?! She's magical. I literally can't say enough nice things about her.

I literally zone in on her and don't pay anyone else any mind when she's in a song. Whenever she's gracious enough to give us a solo, my wigs bow in reverence to her. I just love this woman so much. She can do no wrong in my book.

Gravity is a pre-release track from Mirae's upcoming Korean album. We have no word on what it's called or when it's dropping, but I already know it's amazing. Gravity is a midtempo rap ballad, and I usually find these cheesy af, but I really like Mirae's take on it. For those of you who've been YMR stans for a while, the vocals are arranged in Mirae's typical fashion - hard hitting rap verses, brackted in by Smoove™ vocals.

Yes, Mirae is the one who has your rap fave givin' Soulful Vocals™.

THANK!! HER!!

Gravity is just so nice, you guys. I don't know what it is about these Korean acts dropping really hopeful and healing tracks this year, but I want it to continue. These types of midtempos are usually reserved for Bad Days™, but I lowkey wanna listen to Gravity all the time. There's enough groove that it doesn't drag my mood down if I'm feelin' good, but at the same time, the uplifting vibe is great for everything kinda sucks.

Off Topic, but if y'all haven't heard Mirae's Black Happiness, I urge you!! It's S U C H a good song!! That's a song that's for the worst of days, sis.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

Free Somebody (Luna of f(x) x HEDA)

I really do not understand what the point of this release was. Can someone from SM DM me on Twitter and explain. Cause sis, this shit made no sense to me.

Firstly, congratulations to Ms HEDA are in order!! If you weren't aware (like me), everysing (a Korean karaoke company) and Genie Music (SM Entertainment's distributor) ran a contest called Battle Singer to select a new feature vocalist for an upcoming Station release. Why SM didn't give her her own Station track, I'm not sure, but I rather liked the way she sounded here. So, I can't be too mad.

Wha I *am* mad at, however, is why SM decided to have Luna and HEDA do karaoke on one of the unused sets of Younha's Parade video, and releasing that shit as a single. Y'all couldn't call in nobody to produce these vocals?!?!?! Every single one of y'all vocal producers were busy?!?!?!

K...

I'm just so over SMSTATION releases varying in quality and effort spent. Some weeks, SM puts in the time and effort to rock that shit out, but then we also get lazy as fuck all releases like these. And I get it, there was a contest attached to this and we don't know if SM is gonna pull Ms HEDA back in for a round 2. I'm hoping they do, but SM is fickle. I just wish this release was up to the standard as Luna and Amber's Lower. Some of y'all thought that song was dry af, but at least the video was dynamic.

Rating - KoKoNotABop

The Fabulous Five

5. Mystery (Jalhyejun)

Mystery sounds like Lim Kim and Neon Bunny decided to team up for a song. They didn't, but if they ever did, I'd need at least three albums worth of material from it.

Mystery is a very cutesy synthrock song. It lowkey reminds me of something Puffy AmiYumi would do 2003/2004, but it mostly sounds like a bonus track on Neon Bunny's Seoulite. Not a bad thing; Puffy AmiYumi were literally my gateway into J-Pop fifteen years ago (I still listen to them), and Seoulite is one of the best Korean albums of 2011.

Mystery sounds like it belongs in a kids' show, and that's exactly why I like it. It's not anything crazy energetic, but it's really fun and every time I listen to it, it puts the biggest smile on my face. And because it isn't super in your face, you could also use it very peppy background music.

We love a versatile queen, sis.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

4. To Do List (Kim Hyorin)

Okay, sis... I was a lil nervous when I heard the teasers for this. Too many of my faves been droppin' ballads as digital singles, and then disappearing into the ether. Hyorin is my girl, but I will *always* put the music first.

Fortunately,I had nothing to worry about; Hyorin did with To Do List what Henry couldn't do with Monster. Give me an engaging ballad.

Hyorin's To Do List is the same flavor of stripped back ballad as Henry's Monster; it's just Hyorin's sweet vocals layered over a clean electric guitar. It's just that she can emote with her voice and is an overall better vocalist.

I'm finding that I really enjoying this style of ballad. There's just an unexpected element to having a song be just electric guitar and vocals, ya know?!?! Like I mentioned above, I was very unsure about Hyorin making her solo debut under her own agency with a song like this, but I can see why she did it. Ballads do stupidly well in Korea, so Hyorin was catering to that market. BUT ALSO!! There's enough spunk here to keep the more adventurous crowd happy.

Of course, Hyorin could also sing me the dictionary, and I'd be like, "YASSS KWEEN!! BUILD THE CHILDREN'S VOCABULARY!! TAKE EVERY SINGLE OF MY WIGS, GODDESS!!".

So what do I know?!?!

Rating - Heavy Rotation

3. Unstoppable (The Night Of Seokyo x Minju)

I normally don't include covers on this list, and I definitely wouldn't put them in the Fab Five. But y'all, this fucking cover. I really wish they covered the entire song, because it's fucking M A G I C A L

Which only makes sense, because the original is even more magical, but still...

Minju and the Night of Seokyo's Unstoppable is a cover of Lianne La Havas's 2015 song Unstoppable. I have no idea why I don't know this song or artist, because they're both magical. I already said Unstoppable was magical, but I'm gonna say it again!! This song is so good!! Can I live in the feeling this song creates?!?! I'd enjoy that a lot, sis. It's just so calm and healing, and I need that to be my energy for all of 2018.

And Ms Lianne, y'all. My wig toppled off my head the first 30 seconds of the song, because ma'am looks like a Black goddess. Can I be her when I grow up?!?!?! She looks so cool, and her music is just so nice. God, I love just Black women, you guys. They're so amazing, and they never get credit for always being ahead of the curve (as mentioned in my Nega Dola review). But I love Black women. I wouldn't be who I am today without Black women. None of us would. And I think it's time that we acknowledge that!!

So now that I've gotten that out of my system (we are unapologetically stanning Black women in 2018 and beyond, sis), let's discuss the Night of Seokyo and Minju's cover of Unstoppable. Absolutely beautiful. Breathtaking. I felt like I was floating. I usually don't care for covers, because 90% of them fall into two categories - a) indistinct from the original because they do everything the original does and b) complete and total trash because they did Too Much™ when reinterpretting it. But Minju and the Night of Seokyo strike the perfect balance - the rearrangement for piano and vocal does Just Enough™ to stand out on it's own without feeling like it's fucked up the vibe of the song.

I really should have just done a standalone review of this cover, since I *clearly* have so much so say on it, but it's just so good. A very big thank you to my girl sunnysidae who found the original version for Unstoppable for me. You're the best, sis!!

Rating - Heavy Rotation

2. Baby Funk (Yoo Naul of Brown Eyed Soul)

Y'all.

Everything about this song n video is so Black!! I'm Shook™!!

I don't know Brown Eyed Soul that well, so I really thought Naul was the Black dude in the video. Thought BES had a whole ass (well, half ass) nigga in the group!!

Baby Funk's name is a little misleading - the only thing Funky about her is that guitar line (and the beatswitch that happens towards the end). But that's fine!! We love a good throwback to the Soul tracks of the '90s!!

I really don't know what to say, but tbh I really shouldn't have to - y'all *know* I L I V E for a good RnB/Soul track. And Baby Funk definitely delivers, babies!! I'm not gonna lie, the video did put me a off little, at first; I can't help but be suspect of the dynamic here. But you know, I'm just gonna receive this blessing, and keep it pushing. Naul made a love letter to Black culture with Baby Funk, and I Appreciate™.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

1. Blind (Planetarium Records)

Trigger Warning - intense strobe lighting effects are used in the live showcase video

One of these days, I'm gonna need to learn these dudes' names. Especially since they refuse to stop terrorizing my wig collection with their group albums.

Sidenote - whoever decided to bait n switch my Black ass with them teasers, ya mama's a heaux. And I expect a full version of T.M.N.T with vocals on Case#3!! That shit is too good to just be an intro!!

*ahem*

When I first saw the teasers for Planetarium's CASE#1, I didn't think much of it. I thought they were an EDM label, number 1. And number 2, teasers didn't really give me anything to be excited about. But they blasted onto the scene with Blah, which had me eatin' my words a lil. I didn't include ha in my Fab Five for that week, but I was definitely paying attention to them Planetarium boys. And then came a live video of Glue (which I did put in my Fab Five), and now Blind.

Blind is a very clear 180 from the very fun, very tropical themed Blah. But catch these niggas drivin' off into the sunset with my wig, because I am B A L D T.

Blind is an intense synthpop track with a slight RnB tilt. Which is to be expect, because Planetarium is an RnB/Hip Hop label. But guys, this song is just S O G O O D. If every idol boy band in K-Pop *has* to do overly series tracks because They're Super Serious Boys Who Very Serious All The Time Seriously™, I'm gonna need them deliver tracks on this level.

Show me you have soul, not that you have abs. I've seen enough shirt lifts to last me a lifetime, kids.

On top of giving us a music video that's a continuation of Blah, the Planetarium boys have also provided us with a live showcase video that you can watch here. Be mindful that there is intense strobing effects during the chorus bits.

Rating - Heavy Rotation

Alright loves, that's all I've got for you guys this week!! I hope the change in format isn't jarring, but I needed to do something to alleviate some of the work that goes into these lists. Cause pretty soon, I'm not gonna have the gobs and gobs of free time that I have now to do them, on top of my standalone reviews. My SHINee Feature Spotlight series has been halted, for now, but tune in on Friday at 12pm and 6pm EST for a special surprise. And be sure to tune in on Monday at 6pm EST for me full length review of the week.

Love, you guys!!