#all i know is that i want him to be garbage

[sakura-hitomi]

Well, if you want to screw me over. I must politely decline. Go find a partner to feed your rubbish. That you can't understand poverty, concequences of actions and such, you need to work on yourself a bit more than Tumblr, throwing garbage on other people their spots and call it a day.

This is my snater excuse list:

1) He was obsessed with lily

2) He bullied kids

3) He was Neville's greatest fear

4) At least marauders grew up, Snape never did

5) He was a racist

6) He called lily a mudblood

7) He's a n*zi

8) He studied DA

9) He joined what kills lily

10) It was a rivalry so he hexed James back.

11) he was the cause of breaking that friendship with lily.

12) Snape changed only for lily. He would've let Neville die. He even didn't want to safe harry and James. He was fine killing a BABY.

13) Snape CHOSE to go, it isn't Sirius his fault

Now, you seem to hit reason 6, 9 and 11 pretty close. Again, excuses. That you think Snape is gray and want to shit all over him is not my problem.

Here are some links where I break those scenes apart brick by brick and tumblr won't allow me such big pieces of text. If you don't read it, I'm not surprised. Snaters are basically allergic to proof and canon words.

Excuses 6 is in link 1: https://www.reddit.com/r/maraudersvent/comments/1i0ouwn/snaters_their_13_excuses_only_being_excuses_part_1/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Excuse 9 is partially in link and link 2: https://www.reddit.com/r/maraudersvent/comments/1i0p38c/snaters_their_13_excuses_only_being_excuses_part_2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Excuse 11 is in link 2

And also, don't bother me unless you've read it. It should be obvious but you never know with a snater.

You know, we've met the fans that love to see lily as a saint right? But let's be honest here. If the roles were reversed, not a single person would stand next to Snape.

Let's say Lily was from a poor household, Snape is aware of it but ignores it or feigns ignorance about it. Now, Lily is in school and a bunch of hot girls bully her relentlessly. They corner her in the bathroom, class and even in public, humiliating her was like a must-do on the bullies their list.

Snape tells them off, but they don't leave her alone, as cherry on top, she calls him a slur when he told the girls for the umpteenth time to stop and they pull her skirt down or rip her blouse open. The leader of the girls doesn't like her crush (Snape) around Lily, a filthy snivelling poor girl.

He deserves better, he deserves more and someone of his callibre. The bully thinks, that Snape deserves herself of course. Lily called Snape a slur because she caught a glimpse of him almost smiling at her misery. He doesn't forgive her, and to rub salt in the wound.

He goes and dates her bully a year later. How many fans will excuse Snape's behavior then?

[t00tsmcgee]

Rook as a companion banter episode seven : Lucanis

Banter written with my Rook in mind. Read more about him here.

Part 1 (Neve) | Part 2 (Bellara) | Part 3 (Davrin) | Part 4 (Harding) | Part 5 (Taash) | Part 6 (Emmrich) | Part 7 Lucanis |

-

Lucanis: “You eat garbage.�� Calais: “I feel like I’m being accused of something?” Lucanis: “Not literal garbage but I saw you fish out a flat sandwich from your pack the other day and eat it like it hadn’t been in there for two days.” Calais: “It was still good. The cheese was a little hard and sweaty though.” Lucanis: *Shuddering*

Lucanis: “What do you like to eat?” Calais: “I like fries and chicken and fried chicken.” Lucanis *quietly whispering* “Ayayay..” Calais: “I also like fried fish.”

Calais: “I liked that salad you made.” Lucanis: “It’s a Nevarran recipe. Blood orange salad.” Calais: “I’d had it before, but it was never this good.” Lucanis: “Every salad is better with cheese and some kind of nut.” Calais: *chuckle* Lucanis: "What's funny? ..Oh." *sigh*

Lucanis: “Aren’t most Nevarrans vegetarian?” Calais: “Most, yes.” Lucanis: “But not you?” Calais: “No. I’m only just really discovering that food can be something besides sustenance. I want to experience as many flavours as I can.” Lucanis: “I’m glad you’re having fun.” Calais: *fondly* “I blame you.”

Lucanis: “What about drinks?” Calais: “I like almost everything, but I don’t drink alcohol. Always just kind of tastes like paint thinner to me.” Lucanis: “What about warm beverages? Tea, coffee, hot chocolate?” Calais: “I’ll take tea over coffee any day.” Lucanis: “Who hurt you?”

Calais: “You know, Lucanis, I appreciate all the effort you make to take care of us.” Lucanis: “Someone has to. It’s a miracle you didn’t all contract some disease before I was here to cook for you.” Calais: “I didn’t have much choice.” Lucanis: “No?” Calais: “Rations are rations. We just ate what we were given, back at the Necropolis.” Lucanis: “That explains a lot, actually.” Calais: “So your food is a real treat. Just wanted you to know how much I’ve been enjoying it.” Lucanis: *Warmly* “Thank you.”

Lucanis: “Don’t even think about eating that sandwich you still have in your pack. I saw you take it with you when we left.” Calais: “It’s just a cheese sandwich, it stays good for a while. Maybe a bit stale but-” Lucanis: “Unacceptable. If you want to eat that at least let me toast it for you.”

Calais: “Hey, Lucanis?” Lucanis: “Yes?” Calais: “Will you teach me how to cook?” Lucanis: “You never learned?” Calais: “Not really. I mean I can fry an egg just about, and I read books about it, but I see the most wonderful illustrations in those books, that make my mouth water. I want to be able to make those!” Lucanis: *Chuckles* “Sure, I can teach you.”

Lucanis/Spite: “Spirit One reminds me of home.” Calais: “What was home like, Spite?” Lucanis/Spite: “It was home. Where I belonged, until she did this to us.” Calais: “I’m sorry, Spite. You didn’t deserve it.”

Lucanis: “So how is that you can see Spite when no one else but I can?” Calais: “I’ve always been able to speak to spirits in this way. If one has manifested as a possession I can see them hovering around the person they’ve possessed because that person tethers them to this world. Otherwise I have to draw them here with my magic.” Lucanis: “But Spite can touch things when you’re around, too.” Calais: “He uses a little bit of my power to manifest that touch.” Lucanis: “Doesn’t that tire you out?” Calais: “No, I barely notice. He’s very careful.”

Lucanis: “You’ve taught Spite how to paint.” Calais: “Actually I didn’t teach him anything. He just.. took a brush and went for it.” Lucanis: “He seems to like it.” Calais: “I think it’s a way to express himself when he’s lost most of his ability to do so.”

Calais: “You have fun painting don’t you Spite?” Lucanis/Spite: “Yes! Many colours giving shapes to emotions!” Calais: “And your colours are so well chosen.” Lucanis/Spite: “Yes, he likes it!” Calais: “I like it very much. Can I have one to hang on my wall?” Lucanis/Spite: “No! Its mine!” Calais: *laughing* “It was a compliment, I like it so much I want to look at it all the time.” Lucanis/Spite: *snarling* “Fine! Pick one! But only one!”

Lucanis/Spite: “The Spirit One is hurting.” Calais: “Oh, that’s just my leg. It always hurts. Don’t worry.” Lucanis/Spite: “Perhaps we can help.” Calais: “How?” Lucanis/Spite: “We can fly. We can carry!” Calais: *laughing* “As exciting as that sounds, it’d be a little impractical. But thank you, Spite.”

Lucanis: “You seem fond of Spite.” Calais: “I’m fond of you too, Lucanis.” Lucanis: “I know. But Spite listens to you. I spent the best part of a year with him and he hardly ever listens to me.” Calais: “Well I do speak to spirits for a living. It’s kind of my thing.” Lucanis: “Makes being around you hard, he constantly wants to speak with you.” Calais: “I’m sorry. I’ll try to engage less.” Lucanis: “No, it’s alright. It makes Spite calmer to talk with you. I had an actual night of sleep the other day, after he spent all evening talking with you. I think you’re good for him.” Calais: “He’s adorable, once you get past all the anger.” Lucanis: “I enjoyed your company, last night.” Calais: “And I yours. That was some very good tea you made.” Lucanis: “It’s no problem. I’m glad you enjoyed.” Lucanis/Spite: “Should have kissed him!” Calais: “What?” Lucanis: “No! Nothing, please, ignore him.”

Lucanis: “You’re getting better.” Calais: “At what?” Lucanis: “Cooking. For a while I wondered if my lessons were actually landing, but that pot roast you made yesterday was delicious.” Calais: “Thank you. I learned from the best.” Lucanis: “Well-” Calais: “And the most handsome.” Lucanis: *clears throat* “I’m not sure that’s relevant.” Calais: “Helps me pay attention to you.” Lucanis/Spite: “*cackle* He thinks you’re handsome!”

Lucanis: “Cal, would you maybe like to learn how to dance?” Calais: “Dance? Why do you ask?” Lucanis: “I was taught how to dance for social occasions and official parties. It’s a fun way to exercise. You said you struggled with regular work outs, this might be easier, for your leg.” Calais: “You’d do that for me?” Lucanis: “After everything you’ve done for me and Spite? Of course.” Calais: “It’s not transactional, Lucanis. But yes, I would like to learn. Thank you for thinking of me.” Lucanis/Spite: “He does it a lot!”

Calais: “Kind of sad we don’t have music to practice dancing to.” Lucanis: “I suppose we could give Spite a violin and see what he produces.” Calais: “I like my eardrums in tact, thank you.” Lucanis: “You think it will be that bad?” Calais: “Do you remember when he tried to play my piano?” Lucanis: “Ah.. say no more.”

Lucanis: “You seem quiet, ever since we returned from Treviso.” Calais: “You let Illario live.” Lucanis: “Yes. I don’t have enough family that I’d happily execute whatever shredded pieces of it are left.” Calais: “Family isn’t always blood.” Lucanis: “And blood isn’t always the answer.”

Lucanis: “Mi amado, I would like to take you to Treviso soon, meet my grandmother officially. She’s invited us for tea.” Calais: “Are you sure? She didn’t seem to think much of me when we rescued her.” Lucanis: “She’s going to have to get used to you, whether she likes it or not.” Calais: “What do I even say to her? ‘Hello Mrs Dellamorte I’m in love with your grandson?’” Lucanis: “I’d leave out the question mark at the end.”

Calais: “Papi Chulo.” Lucanis: *Hard exhale* “What?” Calais: “Viago said I should call you that, that it was a cute Antivan nickname for one’s lover.” Lucanis: *Deep sigh* “You don’t listen to what Viago says. Ever.”

[shybluebirdninja]

Fury Roadtrip

Summary: Logan insists on being your road trip navigator, but his terrible sense of direction gets you both lost in the middle of nowhere with a very angry llama.

Pairing            : Logan Howlett x Gf!Reader

Note                : fluff

It all started with Logan’s damn confidence. He had that “I'm-always-right-even-when-I'm-wrong” swagger, and it was extra obnoxious when he was in the passenger seat.

“Babe, I’m tellin’ ya, you missed the turn back there.”

You glance at him, eyebrow raised. “Logan, we’re following the GPS. I’m literally doing exactly what it says.”

He crosses his arms, grunting. “GPS is full of shit. I know the backroads better than this piece of tech.”

You almost laugh but bite your lip. Logan, your Logan, who spent most of his life in the Canadian wilderness, was trying to tell you he had the lay of the land down in the middle of nowhere Arizona. Sure, the man had sharp instincts when it came to sniffing out danger, but his sense of direction? Absolute garbage.

“Okay, darling,” you say, dripping with sarcasm, “why don’t you tell me where we’re supposed to go, huh? Since you know these backroads so well.”

He cracks his knuckles, like he’s preparing for battle. “Take the next left.”

You squint at the road ahead, seeing nothing but desert stretching for miles. “Left where, exactly? The cactus? Or are we about to drive through some tumbleweeds?”

Logan doesn’t hesitate, just taps the window with a claw. “Left. Right here.”

You sigh but humor him. It’s Logan. You love the guy, claws and all. If he wants to play navigator, you’ll let him play. So, you make the turn. The moment the car veers off the asphalt, the tires hit sand. Great, now you're on some sketchy dirt road that isn't even on the GPS.

“This feels wrong,” you mutter, gripping the wheel tighter. “Really, really wrong.”

Logan chuckles like he knows better. “Trust me, babe. I’ve been around longer than this damn map.”

Right. You loved Logan, but sometimes you really wanted to strangle him. Five minutes go by, then ten. The road—if you could even call it that—narrows down to nothing but rocks and dust, and the car’s bouncing like it's about to break apart.

“Logan,” you hiss, glancing at him, “are you sure this isn’t, I don’t know, a wolverine death trap?”

He shrugs, looking out the window like this is all normal. “Relax, honey. Just a bit of off-roading.”

Then you hear it.

“Mrrrahhh!”

“What the hell was that?” you ask, wide-eyed.

Logan turns his head slowly, and through the window, standing on a rocky ridge, is a llama. A very angry llama. You don’t know why or how you know it’s pissed off, but you can tell from the way it’s glaring at your car like it’s about to throw hooves.

“Mrrrahhh!” It screeches again, taking a threatening step down the ridge.

“Logan,” you say, voice tight, “why is there a llama staring at us like it wants to fight?”

Logan, unfazed as ever, leans back in his seat. “Llama’s just mindin’ its business.”

“Mindin’ its business? It looks like it’s about to spit in my face!”

Before you can react, the llama starts to move—no, it starts charging down the slope, heading straight for the car. You slam your hand on the horn, but it only makes the llama angrier. It’s now full-on sprinting at you, and suddenly this road trip has turned into a showdown you didn’t sign up for.

“Logan!” you shout, eyes wide, panic setting in. “Do something! You’re the one who got us lost here with this demon llama!”

But Logan’s just staring at the thing with his usual nonchalance, like this happens to him every day. “It’s just a llama, babe. You’re actin’ like it’s a freakin’ Sabretooth.”

“Well, maybe it is a Sabretooth in disguise because it’s coming at us like it’s about to murder us!”

Logan grumbles, opening the car door and stepping out. “Fine, I’ll handle it.”

You watch, dumbfounded, as Logan walks toward the llama like it’s nothing. He stands there, arms crossed, waiting for the thing to get close. For a moment, you think he’s going to have some sort of epic standoff with this angry furball. You almost expect some Old Western music to play in the background.

“Mrrrahhh!” The llama slows down, huffing and puffing, clearly rethinking its life choices as it gets closer to Logan.

“See?” Logan says, turning back to you with a smirk. “Told ya. They back down once you show ‘em who’s boss.”

But just as those words leave his mouth, the llama spits. A giant, green glob of llama spit flies through the air, nailing Logan square in the face.

You lose it. You’re doubled over in the driver’s seat, laughing so hard you’re crying. “Oh my God, Logan! It just—” You can’t even finish your sentence, you’re laughing too hard. “It spit on you!”

Logan wipes his face, his eyes narrowing as he glares at the llama. “You son of a—”

“Told you!” you choke out between gasps, barely able to breathe. “I told you this was a bad idea!”

Logan stomps back to the car, furious, muttering curses under his breath. He slams the door and glares out the window, completely ignoring the fact that you’re still dying from laughter.

“Not. A. Word,” he growls, crossing his arms.

You manage to catch your breath and wipe your eyes, but the giggles still bubble up. “Oh, come on, babe. Admit it. Your sense of direction sucks.”

Logan just grunts. You, meanwhile, start the car, turning back onto the dirt road as you try to find a way out of the middle of nowhere.

“Next time,” you say, smirking, “I’m in charge of navigation.”

[northwestcomixcollective]

post epilogue au bill jerry mandi schizoposting delirium whatever hte fuck Context here im quoting comic books and literature no one on tumblrs ever heard of its mostly for archive purposes and the people that care at least a little bit

i sort of picture bills homosexuality as sort of like a thing he would never admit to or act upon and especially with jerry being the only guy who's ever tried to reach out to him and be kind to him to touch him to reach out etc etc being deprived of human touch for 10 years i definitely think they're gay i picture him as a bukowski or crumb bu,t in the way they objectify and degrade women and not the sort of intellectual type and at the same time bwing q repressed homosexual virgin in his late twenties is something i really want to explore

sex isnt everythinf but seeing how important it is for them and how significative and how women are sexual objects and all i think it definitely affects his view on himselg

i think there's this underlying animalistic urge to be close and be together theyve been around eachother since they were kids they really have no one else that's been through what they've been through and even though jerry wants to let go bill is still stuck on it which is why he's so clingy to jerry he's the only thing he has left really the only person that reached out the only guy that somewhat cares i wouldnt be talking about bill clinging on like a koala ofherwise he really does """"love"""" jerry jn the sense he let him stay he touches his shoulder he gave him a change of clothes despite everything that hapoened see gif below

i definitely want there to be a scene of bill breaking down and being liek Jerry....... i like men.......... and just like crying geeking and jerry holding him close and putting his cold nose on his neck and telling him it's all finewhile holding him he caresses him blalallaa whatever for the first time in like 30 something years he feels appreciated loved and held jerry doesnt even know what he's doing holding this piece of shit garbage scum that said the most obscene garbage to his girlfriend who is in the next room ten years ago i think for jerry its also nice to hold him because his parents never really did it which is sort of shown in the pilot where he holds himself when he's excited or nervous as a self soothing method and he feels like hes giving the love he never really received as a child See picture below

in his mind bill really could change. Because he really could change he just needed the right people around him. the resentment he feels towards bill fluctuates he resents him for everything that happened at comic-con he resents him for never treating him well when they were younger he resents him for waltzing into his house drenched in snot rain and tears and taking up space in what was supposed to be a place he could be comfortable and at peace in

billjer i wanted to compare it to ralf könig's "swiss bliss" but bills friends aren't nearly as tolerant of gays as the guys friends who tell him he isnt gay and he's not like that and they dont believe it theyd straigjt up just exile him i think it's more like "maybe ... maybe not" again by ralf könig picture attached below jerry would never make a move first i think bills vulnerable situation and lack of human contact and sort of praise and appreciation he has for jerry for housing him would sort of bring him to do it i think if they ever got to kiss or make out like this styleit would be during a heated argument or while they're drunk they wouldnt be able to stop thems3lves but if it ever escalates i think jerry could easily let bill go and let him slam his head against something and just go into another room and start pacing fucking freaking out see picture below,

if anyone wants to jump me for shipping bill and mandi its3now or never SCREAM ID YOU LOVE BILL AND MANDI

although i asked dorkin and he already told me it isnt true i still want to explore mandi being the same girl that walked into joe's comic book store in "this monster, this fan" because of the character dynamics i could explore and thoughts and interpretations i dont givea fuck im schizoposting about bill blowing jerry im basically doing whatever i wajt with the already existing comic thog dont care i think they both remember the day really clearly but since bill is so so focused on jerry he barely even glances at her because she was basically violated by like. what 15 men in a comic book store including grown men taking a picture of her like thats vile bill doesnt want to think about it he doesn't want to confront her or say anything ever because the humiliation of already being in someone else's house eating their food taking up space is too much

see earlier mention of crumb

the way crumb depicts women as something divine unachievable incomprehensible and as sex objects and puts them in the strangest most violent situations where is definitely something i see bill in especially in the epilogue where he and the rest just start babbling about how the female cosplayers are too ugly fat or arent white and dont fit their standards the way they're always depicted reading smut pornography or just looking at pinups of women (sometimes in violent situations as well) and the interaction he had at joe's all formed and turned his mindset into something utterly vile negative and disgustifn

see previous mention of bukowski

in this book the narrator is always pointing out faults in women i definitely see him as bill in the sense of being so negative hateful and even when in love he still manages to criticize his potential lover it could be bill and mandi but their relationship is much more complex to me since neither of them actually love eqchpther they just carnally need one another the way he's just really pathetic drunk and all just reminds me of bill as well mandi hates bill for being a man she's attracted to him because he's so fucking pathetic and gross it's exciting bill is attracted to mandi because she's a woman he detests her for being a stupid cunt who speaks her mind and is independent theyre both secretly having an affair one is slightly homoerotic the other one is just straight up abusive bill doesnt like to talk to anyone in the house he's extremely embarrassed and ashamed not only because he's in his friends house living there with his girlfriend who he hates but because he had the balls to reach out for help especially from a guy who beat the shit out of him last time they ever saw eachother mandi tries to talk it out but bill is so unbelievably childish he doesn't speak to anyone or do anything he's just silent i love them because they beat the shit out of eachofher and bill is a sexist pig and mandi is a woman they're all having an affair with eachother if any of them find out the other one is dating everything will go down genuinely but it wont since they're all too busyv hiding something from the other

i definitely think he would crash out on her but in the most like. formal way possible because he doesnt want to get kicked out and its shown he sort of knows when it's appropriate to shut up unlike josh who just starts geeking

+ jerry & mandi sketch im not finishing to get a glimpse into what i picture them both to be. healthy happy and everything good

[alittlegiraffe]

Title: Stand By Me (Part 3)

You knew it was coming.

Your mother wasn’t the type to let things go. The silence—the control she was losing over you—was like a lit fuse, and you knew it was only a matter of time before it blew.

Marshall knew it, too.

He never said it outright, but he stayed a little closer, held you a little longer, kept his phone on him more than usual, like he was waiting for the moment she finally snapped.

And when she did?

It was worse than you ever could have imagined.

---

It happened on a Sunday.

You had just started to feel okay again—just started to believe that maybe, just maybe, you could move forward without the weight of your mother’s words dragging you down.

Then your phone rang.

You stared at the screen, dread settling heavy in your gut.

Mom calling.

You almost let it go to voicemail. But something told you that if you didn’t pick up, she wouldn’t stop. That she’d just keep calling, keep finding ways to push herself back into your life.

So you answered.

And from the second you said hello, it was a mistake.

“Oh, so you do still know how to pick up the phone,” she snapped. No greeting. No warmth.

You swallowed. “Mom—”

“No, don’t start,” she cut you off. “I have sat here for weeks wondering what the hell I did to deserve this. You ignoring me? Treating me like I’m some kind of villain?”

Your grip on the phone tightened. “Mom, I’m not—”

“Shut up!” she screamed, her voice cracking through the line.

You flinched.

Marshall, who had been in the kitchen, immediately looked up, his expression hardening.

“I gave you everything!” your mother raged. “And this is how you repay me? By cutting me off? By choosing him over your own family?”

Your heart pounded. “This isn’t about Marshall—”

“Bullshit! He did this to you! He poisoned you against me!”

Marshall was watching now, his entire body tense, his fists clenched. He couldn’t hear her words, but he didn’t need to. He could see the way they were hitting you like knives, the way you were curling in on yourself.

And that was enough.

Before you could stop him, he was next to you, pressing the speaker button.

“If you got somethin’ to say about me,” he said, his voice calm but deadly, “say it to my face.”

There was a beat of silence.

Then—

“You piece of shit,” your mother spat. “You ruined her. You took her from me.”

Marshall scoffed. “Nah, lady. You did that all on your own.”

Her breath hitched. “How dare you—”

“I dare ’cause someone had to tell you the truth,” he cut her off. “You don’t get to treat her like garbage and still expect her to come runnin’ back. You don’t get to guilt her into keepin’ you in her life.”

You swallowed hard, gripping Marshall’s hand like it was the only thing keeping you grounded.

“You know what your problem is?” Marshall continued. “You thought you could break her down so much that she’d never leave. But guess what? She did. And she ain’t comin’ back.”

The line was so quiet you almost thought she had hung up.

Then, in a low, venomous voice, she hissed, “She will. When you get tired of her. When you finally throw her away like you do with everyone else.”

Marshall’s jaw clenched, his entire body going rigid. You could feel the anger radiating off of him, the way his breathing deepened.

But before he could say anything, you spoke.

“No,” you said softly, but firmly. “He won’t.”

Your mother let out a bitter laugh. “Oh, honey, wake up. He’s Eminem. He’s not built to love anyone. He’s just playing house with you until he gets bored.”

You felt Marshall flinch beside you.

And maybe, once, you would have believed her. Maybe, once, her words would have sent you spiraling, had you questioning everything.

But not anymore.

Not after everything he had done to prove otherwise.

“He loves me,” you said simply. “And he treats me better than you ever have.”

Your mother sucked in a breath, like you had physically struck her.

And for the first time, you felt free.

She could rage, she could insult you, she could twist the knife all she wanted—but she couldn’t control you anymore.

You had made your choice.

And it wasn’t her.

“Don’t call me again,” you said, voice steady. Then, without waiting for a response, you ended the call.

The silence that followed was deafening.

Marshall was still staring at the phone, like he half-expected it to ring again.

You let out a shaky breath, pressing the heels of your hands against your eyes. “Jesus Christ.”

“You okay?” His voice was rough, edged with anger he hadn’t been able to unleash.

You exhaled, dropping your hands. “Yeah.” And then, quieter, “I think I really am.”

He studied you for a long moment, like he was making sure you weren’t just saying that. Then, finally, he sighed and pulled you into his arms, holding you so tight it knocked the breath out of you.

“I got you,” he murmured. “Always.”

And you believed him.

For the first time, you really, truly believed him.

[andstillwestand]

I know that Nick's whole personal mission to kill Eddie Winter kinda gets glossed over in the game and Nick's emotions regarding everything he's been through are only lightly touched on, but y'all best believe that Nick and his thoughts/feelings on everything are gonna get MESSY in my fic.

Nick woke up in the fucking garbage and throughout the game we see him be- (what I would refer to as) -passively suicidal and have some very deep-rooted self-esteem issues. He doesn't see himself as a person, he doesn't really stand up for himself- (aside from a snarky comeback here and there) -when other characters treat him like shit, he is CONSTANTLY throwing himself into extremely dangerous situations to help people without any care to whether or not he'll come out of it in one piece, he refers to himself almost exclusively using insults, he asks the PC if his face is really the last one they want to see, etc. etc.

Nick literally sees himself as some shitty knockoff of the "real" Nick Valentine, a pretender, a ghost, and like...that's gotta fuck him up a little---especially given that he thinks the Institute, the people who made him, just tossed him in the trash. He thinks that he's unwanted and about half of the Commonwealth just reinforces that based on the fact that he's a synth, there's no fucking way that this man is well adjusted in the slightest.

Not to mention the fact that he REMEMBERS BEING the original Nick Valentine, he has all these memories and flashes of things that happened to him, but it’s NOT him and he knows that logically, but it’s shown to all sort-of bleed together for him- (we see this in his personal mission when he goes back and forth between calling Jennifer “Nick’s fiancée” and “my fiancée”) -and that’s got to be so confusing and fucked up for him, because he can’t tell where Nick Valentine ends and he begins!

Who is he without the memories of some prewar detective plugged into his brain? How much of his personality is his and how much of it is “stolen?” Would he still be himself without the echos of the original Nick Valentine knocking around in his skull? He doesn’t have the answers to any of these questions and I think that should fuck him up SEVERELY!

I think he should be angry and confused and depressed, and I think he should get to work through all of that—and DAMN IT HE WILL, BUT ITS GONNA GET WORSE BEFORE IT GETS BETTER!

[saintvainglorious]

Fics I Enjoyed in January - DC Comics Fic Rec List Part 2

I am still neck-deep in DC fandom this month and the fics have been so so good. Unlike last time, I am too tired to write mini summaries/reviews, so I'm going to feature my favorite quote from each fic instead.

My first DC Comics fic rec list is here!

Floor Plans by @oh-mother-of-darkness (Teen & Up, 1k, 2016) “I really didn’t want to die,” he finished. “I was kind of hoping if I laid here long enough, I would remember what that felt like.”

Losing two brothers in six months takes an emotional toll.

almost right by @bitimdrake (Teen & Up, 3k, 2020) He desperately wishes that he didn’t know what Dick’s cheekbone feels like under a gauntleted fist.

Bruce sucks in a breath, hand raising to fix the cowl. Dick flinches back.

but more with love by @danishsweethearts (Teen & Up, 3k, 2022) Dick wakes up one morning, groggy from a dream that he thinks might’ve been about the circus and also about his favourite car and also about how lonely he is, and realizes that he can’t remember what his mother’s voice sounds like anymore.

O Robin, Robin, wherefore art thou Robin?

The Mechanics of a Hug by @sohotthateveryonedied (General Audiences, 4k, 2017) “You know… that crushing sense of depression? Like,” Dick chews his lip. “It’s. A physical weight. Makes it hard to breathe?” “Yeah,” Tim says, soft. He smiles, wryly. “I sort of hoped you didn’t, though.”

“So,” Tim ventures. “It's… what, a cuddle pollen?” Bruce just shrugs. “Something like that.”

No Pain, All Gain by @sohotthateveryonedied (General Audiences, 1k, 2020) Tim’s eyes go even wider. “You stole my organs?” “Technically,” Jason chimes in, “the doctors stole your organs. We just gave them permission.”

Bruce checks Tim’s IV. “Are you in any pain? Do you need more morphine?” Tim’s pupils are so wide that only the faintest ring of blue can be seen. He watches Bruce the way a five-year-old watches cartoons. “I’m all good, B-dog. All Gucci, like we cool teens say." His words are slurred almost beyond recognition, but Tim doesn’t seem to notice or care. "I could fight Superman right now.”

The Wind Sits in the Shoulder of Your Sail by @birdchildsnest (Teen & Up, 7k, 2020) “Oh my god. Bruce. I can’t even tell if you’re serious. When everybody finally eats the rich—they’re going to eat you first.”

At least, back then, Tim had barely been a teenager. He could almost forgive his own volatility. And he’d been smart enough (scared enough?) not to tell Jack that he didn’t need him. What was his excuse now? Bruce was his dad (at least, in the legal sense), but (surprise, surprise) it turned out that Tim wasn’t any better at being a son. Or Tim and Bruce still have some things to sort through after the adoption.

I Left My Conscience On Your Front Doorstep by @dustorange (Teen & Up, 21k, 2022) He doesn’t want to be loved if being loved is like this.

"I think I'm leaving," Dick whispers. "I think I'm not coming back."

bad boys bad boys (whatcha gonna do) ♫ by @drakefeathers (Teen & Up, 20k, 2014) "They live their lives thinking they can charge through the city with the right to hurt and kill and destroy as many lives as they want. And they do it all without a shred of remorse." “But—” Damian begins, brow furrowed in confusion. “Isn’t that like you?”

a Jason and Damian as Batman and Robin AU!! featuring a bunch of graffiti, a rival dynamic duo, and Cat Jason (a cat named Jason).

The Biggest Mistake by @oh-mother-of-darkness (General Audiences, 1k, 2016) “I could ground him anyway, if it would make you feel better.” “He only said it because I called him ‘a garbage can so ineffective it actually became garbage.’”

"You know what really needs to be addressed? Bruce's truly terrible treatment of Damian." -Me, on a daily basis

been a number and a name by @wynterstars (Teen & Up, 35k, 2023) “Turns out if you just say ‘spacetime’ until people’s eyes glaze over they don’t really question anything you say. Also, somehow nobody expects me to be able to actually do enough math to explain it.”

On a field trip, Robin has a close encounter with the newest super in Metropolis, only to discover the hard way that Superboy secretly works for Lex Luthor. They agree to work together on a plan to free Superboy from Luthor’s hold, but Robin isn’t sure how far he can trust him—and his developing feelings only make things more complicated.

clean it like you mean it by @wynterstars (Teen & Up, 70k, 2024) "Wait, ugh, you're not my dead dad, right? If I'm getting a dying vision of my dead dad I want a do-over because he suuuuucked."

When Gotham's crooks have to scrub down their lairs, who do they call? Jason Todd, Gotham's first and only underworld crime scene cleaning specialist. He's spent his life dodging the Bat, but after a chance encounter he saves Robin's life. Tim Drake finds himself drawn to the conflicted rogue, and soon Jason becomes Robin's street informant. But they can only stay on opposite sides of the law for so long before something breaks.

3:16 by @wufflesvetinari (Teen & Up, 70k (WIP), 2023) “Try to decouple one thing from the other. I’m proud of you, but ice cream isn’t my grand statement about whether you’ve been good or bad today. Good things are good. Happiness is precious. Sometimes you just want caramel chocolate chip.”

The knife pushes thin along Dick’s carotid artery, cupping the indent between neck and jawline—forcing him to angle his chin. The metal is warm, pulled with execution speed from under Damian’s pillow. “Okay,” Dick says quietly, tracking the intricacies of his own heartbeat—counting the space between breaths. “Guess I did need a shave.” (With faltering steps, Dick and Damian become Batman and Robin.)

wolf-king of rome by @mysterycitrus (Not Rated, 25k, 2024) “You go after Joker, but you don’t kill him, because it’s not about the Joker dying, it’s about Bruce breaking his code for you. It’s about Bruce loving you enough to change himself for the worse. It’s about your idea of grieving.”

Jason doesn’t fear Dick Grayson. Fear itself has changed shape for him, since his return from the Pit - it tastes of dirt in his mouth, of drowning, of fire and blood and laughter, more than a tangible face. Still, he’d be stupid not to be cautious. Dick liked playing on an uneven field, and would do anything to keep him off balance, so he just had to stay focused. That’s the nature of the armistice, both waiting for the other to make a move. It’s like balancing on the head of a pin.

Declensions by @dustorange (Teen & Up, 13k, 2018) “Do not tell them your name. Do as I did to survive. I lied. I have always lied. Make one up. Do not let them have you. Say your name is…is…is…Richard Grayson. Or something. They are going to steal you; do not give them anything to steal.”

“My father,” Dick says, “worked the rope. It cut him. His hands were never clean.”

Passiontide by @bigdvmnhero (Teen & Up, 5k, 2025) Despite its faults, the day had tried to be good. He felt young, like someone's son.

On the 96th day Bruce didn't call, Dick remembered their old game. Three things he knew: 1) In three months, it would be Dick's death anniversary; 2) Bruce was still missing his check-ins; 3) Here Dick was, persisting. Imagine the things I'd survive, Dick thought distantly, if I loved Bruce less. Or: Agent 37 and his various crises of faith, on Day 277 at Spyral, Day 150, and Day -0.

the time you won your town the race by @silverwhittlingknife (Teen & Up, 4k (WIP), 2022) Tim. Tim is Dick’s. Death sharpens, clarifies these things. Who will receive the body, decide on the funeral, receive condolences, make all the decisions that matter. No one has questioned it, not even Tim’s friends. There’s a terrible clarity about death. If Dick said, let’s burn everything he owned, Alfred would do it.

He doesn’t know exactly what Tim would say. But he knows what Tim would do. Tim dies. Dick doesn’t take death for an answer. A Red Robin 12 AU.

door, opening by @cowboysorceror (Mature, 70k (WIP), 2024) Dick, with the keys to every locked door Jason has ever tried to open, tucked inside the cradle of his skull; all of that, snuffed out like a candle.

It’s barely audible, but he knows what he heard. A short, four-note whistle, chirping down – E, C#, then jumping up to A, F#, a little trill on the finish. He waits a moment, head turned slightly towards the dim shapes of storage containers between him and the ramp, eyes straining against the blackness. Long, stretching seconds. There it is again. His gloved hand, prickling with cold, closes into a fist. It’s a wood thrush. A small North American songbird that doesn’t sing at night, doesn’t live in the city. He knows what it means. It means hold, steady, not yet. It means wait for me, I’m behind you.

[ofshattermoxie]

Jo had always been on her own. She had only trusted herself. It took years for Jo to have the courage to say those faithful three words I love you, and it wasn’t because she didn’t feel it until that day where she was showing Alex the loft, that garbage space that he liked to tease her about. It was more out of fear, saying the words meant Jo was giving her heart to him. And that gave great responsibility for him to break it, and Jo trusted him. She set down roots with him, we had talked about starting a family, and suddenly the wind was taken out of my lungs because he left me. Left me for her; a ex-wife I had always been wary about. But I was the idiot to think our marriage was anything but a replacement holder. 

A frickin letter, the words plastered all over those pages, it echoed in her head. Their my kids, I never felt a purpose like this, where I belonged. And Jo cried each time she held those papers with shaky palms. Because she did understand needing to be present, she knew Alex. He was never the guy to walk away, never the guy who wanted to disappear from his kids. He wasn’t his dad. But I also was the type of person to fight like hell with him. Jo would’ve moved mountains for him, she would’ve packed up her life to be with him, To get to know his children because she loves him. It stung to know he never loved her enough to let her decide for herself. To allow her to decide what was best for her. She would’ve given Alex it all. 

But the brunette was the insane one if she thought writing him was a good idea. Reading his replies, it was supposed to be closure, supposed to free her from the pain. But writing to Alex became an addiction, one she was scared, she couldn’t break. Jo thought talking on the phone hearing his voice would prompt her to stop, convince herself being contact was a bad idea. And yeah she was angry it was a given, hurt, betrayal but she also liked the sound of his voice, she wanted to believe him, but he left, he left her in the dark for weeks, and it stung, what felt real and what was a show? 

“ And the thing is Alex, you and i had always been honest. I call you out for being selfish for all the times you allowed your bestie to treat me like dirt for what? Because she knew you longer? But still I would’ve stood by you. The kids aren’t a deal breaker for me, it’s the lies, how easy it was for you leave our vows meant nothing clearly.” Hate in her tone, it was like Jo didn’t even want Alex to talk to defend himself without a fight a bickering match. “ I’m not saying you don’t love me, but you love your family more, and in that moment I don’t think you thought about this, us or me. How hurt I’d be. But Maybe I just valured you more..” A cent for thought; but its an impasse for us both, even while attempting to listen, show compassion, its the lies that control us.

@InsolentMedico 

Hurt; Jo was built for the hurt. She’s experienced the let down her whole life. From hoping for a family to take her in, from the disappointment she felt realizing she was on her own. She experienced feeling not enough, unwanted. It was her childhood. But at this age and how far she’s grown Jo realized what true undeniable love was about. Alex Karev showed her what it felt like to be loved and how hard you could love someone. He made her happy, smiling from ear to ear. He made her feel safe. He loved her despite all her history and flaws. It was an unconditional love Jo never experienced before him.

And even when he left; she felt as if she couldn’t breathe without him. It took weeks to understand; to know the why. Man she was so angry so mad at him for being a coward. His letter was the words she never thought he’d say. He broke every promise he ever said to her. A vow he made to never hurt her, to never abandon her. But he did. And at the time she took the time to process to accept he was gone. Once Meredith, and Bailey got their letters and the word for a new peds surgeon broke the whispers were like wildflies. The stares and talk of Alex Karev leaving her. Jo tired to pretend to focus on her work. But each night she came home to an empty loft; until she found a friend in Levi; he was the intern she slept with. But a good friend now that he wasn’t out to beat her; or flirt with her. Jo even hid the letters from her roommate here. She wanted to keep her litter conversations with Alex a secret. At the time when she wrote that first letter it was a way of grieving the life she wanted. The future she thought she had. And now she was forced to pick up her own pieces. One letter led to Alex responding. It was a shock each time she received a letter. It was supposed to be therapeutic for the brunette; easier to let go. But instead it only made her keep writing; his words. His mind on why he left; on what was going through that head of his now. 

It captivated her forward. Jo kept telling herself no. He left you. He picked a new family; the family you never gave him. It was a pep talk to convince herself that it was in her best interest to let him go. But now; as she stared down at his letter. The words he spoke; the love drawn onto the page it made Jo be impulsive. It made her call. But did she believe he’d answer? No not after all the times he dogged her call.  Even when she was that pathetic girl on the phone begging to hear his voice. Begging for him to answer; to give answers as to why he lied; why he disappeared. If he was okay. All she got was silence; so yeah color her surprised when the dial broke; his breathing was heard followed by his voice. 

The voice she longed to hear. The voice that always made her smile; always made her miss him more. Jo never held back; it made her angry to feel love but also feel his abandonment. So it was no surprise to hear herself speak back to him. To call him out for his crap. It was a trait Jo was aware he always adored about her. 

“ Sure it doesn’t.. Alex there was like a billion other ways you could’ve gone about this. About handling the news you had kids. You don’t just abandon the life you were building..” Angry and hurt shown in her voice. Holding the phone tightly in her grasp the brunette let her eyes close taking in the memory of his voice. Even if it hurt to have this conversation. 

She missed him; he still knew how to make her heart skip a beat. Rolling her eyes at his words. “ Because I’m the one not afraid to tell you when you’ve messed up Alex.” Pausing briefly before she geared herself to say her next words. “ If you really think I wouldn’t of supported you when you found out then  maybe all these years were a waste of time. I would’ve wanted  the kids because they were yours. I would’ve supported you. I’m not angry because of the situation. I’m angry because of the little respect and credit you’ve given me..” Words hurt; and yeah her intention was to hurt him. He ripped her apart; and basically wrecked  her. 

And now Jo hung on by a thread.

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

do you even remember the lives that you threw away like trash

continuation of this

[opikiquu]

(disappears for a month and reappears with a slightly obscure hyperfixation) Hey guys

[edwinisms]

i get such a sense of primal envy when looking at edwin’s clothes up close because god you can just tell his coat is real wool and made to last and not cheap flimsy mass produced garbage and auggagghhhh that was just STANDARD in his time. by no means am i saying i was #borninthewronggeneration because i like having vaccines and household appliances but. man. to have a personally-tailored coat like that that’d last for years and years……. and fabrics of fine thread-dense quality………. if only

[starry-bi-sky]

I'm having incoherent thoughts about clone danny again from the clone/clone^2 au (when am I not?) but more specifically I'm thinking about his reaction to finding out he's a clone. The standalone clone au digs into that a little more than clone^2, which is more focused on Danny and Damian's relationship. But neither (so far) really get into Danny's issues about finding out he's a clone after 15 years of thinking he wasn't.

Because he resents his parents for not telling him for so long. He resents the way he found out; through a trivial school project rather than a sit-down talk. He resents the fact that, apparently, they had meant to tell him sooner. But forgot. He resents the fact that they never told him because finding out feels like something was stolen from him when it had the chance to not be.

Danny Fenton, just fifteen, cloned not even half a year ago, knows what that personal violation of autonomy feels like. He knows what it's like to be cloned and while he loves Ellie, he does, she's his sister, and in this au his twin. But he is still left with that feeling of unsafety after realizing he'd been cloned. Being cloned is violating. The onset realization that it's so easy to get DNA without the other party noticing, and that what was stopping someone from trying to clone him again?

Followed only after with the rest of the inexplainable mix of feelings of being cloned, the rest of that inner conflict and panic that's an ugly mocktail of emotions that range from horror to fear. Trying to imagine what it's like to be cloned from the cloned party, and I imagine that it leaves you with the feeling of needing to crawl out of your own skin with discomfort.

And then he gets put on the other side of it. Danny Fenton, only fifteen, was cloned not even half a year ago, finding out he is a clone. And reactions, I imagine, can vary from person to person. But to him, it feels like something got stolen from him, like someone took a hole puncher and stuck it right into his chest and stole a chunk of himself from him.

It changes nothing about him and yet it changes everything. It's a betrayal on it's own to just find out he was a clone and they didn't tell him for fifteen years -- it shouldn't mean anything, because he's still Danny, and yet it means everything. It's him, it's him, it's about him. It's his personhood. It's about the fact that a load-bearing rock in his identity just crumbled beneath his feet and now there's a rockslide.

Because then he finds out that they used the wrong DNA. Its like pouring salt in an open wound. He's not even related to his parents or his sister, when for years he thought he was. It's the fact that pieces of his identity that he's been so secure in for so long just got ripped away from him in an instant. Then they tell him -- only through his own horrified prompting -- that the person whose DNA they used -- Bruce Wayne -- didn't even know he existed. That they accidentally used the wrong DNA, then didn't tell the person whose DNA they used.

The betrayal of being lied to for years turns really quickly into horror at his own existence. Something very similar to the horror he felt at being cloned and the skin-crawling discomfort that made him feel like his own skin wasn't really his. And then its not. It's actually not. Nothing but his own name feels like it belongs to him anymore -- not his hair, not his eyes, not his heart or his lungs, nothing feels like his anymore and he didn't know what that felt like until it was gone.

It's a question of Nature Vs. Nurture -- where does the line of "nature" begin and where does the line of "nurture" end? What of him is actually his? What of him is Bruce Wayne's? It's not logical, it's not supposed to be. It's a load-bearing wall on the house of his identity being destroyed and now everything else is caving down in on him. What belongs to Danny, what belongs to Bruce Wayne?

[halfbaked00q]

Im soooo weak to when Bond is like casually being used or exploited at his expense for some ostensible Greater Good except the situation doesn't HAVE to come to that, not really, and he's so inured and even numb to it that he barely pays it any mind; meanwhile, Q absolutely minds and is very indignant on his behalf and works overtime to like either try to avert or forestall the situation before it gets to the point where Bond has to dig his own claws into more of his soft underbelly to offer up on the sacrificial alter of politics of all tawdry things, or to manufacture a way in which he does the needless "needful" so as to spare Bond at least one unnecessary additional wound upon his psyche.

bonus if Bond finds out and maybe after being angry or indignant about it - I don't need you to do my job for me, Q, this is what I'm here to do - and either Q tells him/lets slip or he deduces that like, this isn't Q thinking he can't get the job done, this is Q finding him precious and worthy of protecting, and like. he's just very in awe of that and does in fact feel very safe and cherished within the cradle of his Quartermaster's regard

[arospecsyourblockdudes]

Shang Qinghua is one of the SV characters I can most relate to purely in terms of also being a writer. I know that a lot of the stuff I want to write won’t end up being super popular (a romance with a purposefully unsexy vampire? a story between an m/f best friend pair with a really deep emotional bond and no romance? come on) and publishing is a nightmare anyway. But the difference is that I don’t plan to make a living off my writing. Poor SQH does. So if he wants to do fun things like pay his bills and eat food every day, he has to pander to the big audience.

He’s written other things that weren’t PIDW. Things that weren’t trashy stallion novels. Things he might’ve had a passion for and put his heart into. No dice. So PIDW it is and my god I can’t imagine how annoying and frustrating it is that the one work that you purposefully sold out on so you can, yknow, survive, is the only one that got big. It got really big. Really popular. That’s gotta be so fucking enraging. Imagine that, you think sitting down to write something you like is hard? Try to pump out a few thousand words of some crap you don’t even like every day, crap that you know had potential if following your actual ideas and plans for the characters would allow you to pay rent. Alas. The characters you lovingly crafted are watered down now. No one cares that you came up with a really compelling backstory for this one villain, he did bad things and he got murdered and that’s all anyone wanted to see. Not a real story, not something you put love into

In a way I think that’s partly why he and SQQ became friends. I’m a writer, we like feedback. We like to hear what people think of the things we write, even negative feedback can be appreciated. So if you have this one guy who reads everything, comments frequently, and (most important) can see how absolutely shitty this work of yours is? Someone that also sees the wasted potential of this story? Gotta be worth something.

[celtrist]

Why does Vassago already have merch, we haven't even met him yet

[swan2swan]

I am actually so thankful for Oshamir because it's reminded me that...yes, I actually DO love me my Corruption Ships. My Nice Girl and Evil Guy ships. It's been years since I've been able to enjoy them, though, because there was one giant piece of garbage writing taking prominence.