#all i get is oh well hes my boyfriend ill include him in my life whenever i want

[junksprungs]

.

[nab1wuzhere]

Magnetic

“You wouldn’t look at me.”

“I saw plenty.”

“In my eyes.”

“…Does it matter?”

~

summary:

Bakugo Katsuki, No. 3 Hero in the charts, massive amounts of tan girls, always invited to galas, events, and even award shows along side his peers, but he has never once gotten a dating scandal in his whole career. Has never even looked in a woman's direction. So you can be certain he won't change his actions when artist Y/N is invited to sing at a private Christmas Gala hosted for hero's to celebrate the season and a year well done of duties...right?

Singer, artist, model Y/N, has it all. Looks, wealth, awards, friends, family, and boyfriends.. her music revolves around her relationships and past relationships along with her mental health that she speaks about through her music. She gets asked to gigs almost every day but few are lucky to book her, when her team gets a request for the Christmas Hero Gala which is highly exclusive, she immediately agrees to entertaining the hero's, excited for the night she doesn't realize she caught a certain man's attention in the back of the crowd..

• slow burn - secret pining - romance - bold Y/N, shy Katsuki - vice versa - celebrity!y/n x aged up!katsuki

• following contains, eventual smut, mentions of suicide, alcohol, mental illness, heavy party scenes and probably more !

• 18+ only!! this is your warning

• the rest of the celebrities mentioned in this series i do not take credit for, and the songs mentioned all writing ownership belongs to them! i do not take credit except for this fan fiction!

!! just a friendly reminder this is all fake, simply my imagination placed into writing !!

Chapter one

intro

After Kirishima left Katsuki alone in his hotel, Katsuki much to his dismay went through a whole social media dive on Y/N. Research, is what he told himself when he scrolled through her Instagram. Photo dumps from her and her friends, including a few actors Katsuki was familiar with, a picture of her dog, Bell, a candid photo of her in the studio, headphones placed on her head.. 'She's pretty' he thought but quickly brushed it away.

Yeah, Katsuki was extremely private when it came to his love life, so what? Was that a crime? Not at all, he had a disgust for the media and he sure as hell didn't want strangers all up in his personal life, it's how he has always been even from his UA days.

All of a sudden his phone started blowing up from the group chat he had with his friends. Kirishima sent a video from some Hollywood website, headlined "Y/N seen getting off at an airport in Japan". the video showed Y/N in a baseball cap wearing all black and a few bodyguards surrounding her, screams were blasting from his phone, flashes bouncing off her as she walked keeping her head down.

"For fucks sake.." Katuski scowled at the video, where's the humanity in following someone around? God he hated paparazzi.

Buzz Buzz.

Shitty Hair - OH GOD! this was today! she's here in Japan!

Raccoon Eyes - EEEK! I CAN'T WAIT FOR TOMORROW, WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE'LL WEAR?!?!

Bob Head - oh god! that's a lot of pap.. i hope she's okay :(

Nerd - Yeah.. I'm sure someone like her is used to it but, wouldn't that get a little draining?

He hated to admit it, but Deku was right, shit, having people scream your name everywhere you go has got to get tiring.

Shitty Hair - yeah, I'm sure it is tiring, but that's what you get in that industry, hell guys even we get that

Shitty Hair - …but seriously, I think she's gonna wear black

Pump Legs - She's definitely wearing red

Raccoon eyes - I SECOND THAT!!!!!

Shitty Hair - NO?!?

Shitty Hair - Katsuki! what do you think?

- i’m not participating.

Dunce Face - the obvious answer is green

Pump Legs - Wanna bet?

Shitty Hair - KATSUKIIIIIII

- white.

Shitty Hair - WHITE?!

Bob Head - waaaiiiittt cause i can see it..

Aaaand that was Katsuki's queue to exit the group chat, he scoffed to himself and was just about to go shower but curiosity got the best of him. He groaned before googling her name. Pictures and articles popped up of her when one of them caught his eye. "BREAKUP?! Y/N and Cole Malter’s 1 year relationship comes to a CLOSE" Katsuki's interest was peaked and he clicked on the link, scrolling down pictures of Y/N at red carpets were displayed, a tall guy with black hair and a cocky look in his eye was seen standing next to her. A very obvious grip on her waist. Katsuki narrowed his eyes and thought, ‘Who even is this guy?’ before realizing he was an actor on a popular sci-fi show Deku was once talking to Sero about during one of their movie nights. He could tell immediately this Cole guy was an asshole, just by the way his lips curved up into a smug grin and again that tight possessive grip on Y/N's waist. Katuski glanced over at Y/N trying to read her expression but was only met with a bright smile that creased the corner of her eyes a little.

Scrolling down on the article, according to a source Cole's very “open” drug addiction was one of the reasons for the split. A video was attached bellow showing Y/N and Cole late at night in LA by a crosswalk, Cole was clearly drunk out of his mind as he threw himself on her while laughing. Y/N's face was anything but happy. You see her shaking her head at him before turning him as she spoke, Cole throws his arms up in a defensive way, but Y/N keeps at it. She moves her hands in a expressive manner as Cole lights up a cigarette, seconds later he puffs smoke directly in her face..

Y/N stands there no longer speaking and turns back in front of her with a blank expression on her face, Cole laughing, no remorse shown. The video ends there.

Katsuki scrolls to the comments,

user62946: omfg it's so obvious he's high on TOP of being drunk.

y/nforpresident: what an ASS. I would've dumped him too.

maggieisabbi: when I see stuff like this I always think if people were dropped on their head as baby

reply/user72048: LOLLLLLL

kentuckyfriedchicken: didn't he just get out of rehab too??? how long has this been going on

deluluisthesolulu: I feel awful for her, my partner for 3 years was a druggie, by far most draining experience EVER. glad she got out when she did.

Kastuki shut his phone off after reading a couple more comments. A pang of sympathy rushed through him for her, he immediately clocked it and shook his head, he has no relation to her, tomorrow night will be the first and last time they ever crossed paths.

"Why do I even care?"

-

Y/N was awoken by a knock on her door, her manager, Crystal and long time best friend came through after announcing it was her. Y/N groaned dramatically when Crystal pulled the curtains open, the sun stinging her eyes immediately.

"CRYSTALLL."

"Wake up hun, we gotta get you ready for tonight."

Y/N's eyes opened at that, when her team got a request for her performance a month ago she was thrilled to say the least, she loved gala's and being able to have more domestic performances like she was just another girl with a voice.

"Uh?? Hello!! Yes!", was the first thing she said when Crystal pitched the idea to her.

Y/N was a big fan of the heroes and felt like her dreams were coming true when she realized she would meet some of her favorite ones! Not realizing they were just as excited to meet her.

After an hour of hair she was now sat down on a high chair, her makeup team working away their magic, she texted her mom letting her know how the preparations were going. A text came up from Cole, Y/N stared at it her stomach swarming with anxiety, she swiped the text away not even bothering to read what he had texted. With a deep breath she shut her phone off and focused on getting ready.

"Was that Cole?", Crystal asked with a hint of worry.

Y/N shook her head, "Doesn't matter, when I go back to LA I'll deal with him then.."

Cyrstal stayed silent, fiddling with her bracelet, "Just.. be careful? This isn't the first time he's come crawling back and-"

"I've got it handled Crys."

"-No I know it's just.." she sighed looking deeply into Y/N's eyes, "guard yourself, don't succumb back into what he wants."

Y/N extended a hand, holding Crystals hand with a small squeeze, "I won't."

Crystal smiled, “Good, now chop chop people we have to be out the door and on our way to the venue in less than thirty minutes!!”

Y/N smiled, Crystal completely back on manager duty, her mind went back to Cole, thinking about the last in person conversation they had.. Cole was almost on his knees asking her not to leave him, but she was too tired to continue on with him and his actions, she didn’t care about her image, if Cole needed her by his side during his recovery out of his addiction she would, and she was, but he just wasn’t meeting her halfway, and in the end the only person getting hurt was her.

“Hey babes?”, Kelly, her makeup artist spoke up, “I’m intrigued, who are you most excited to meet tonight?”

Y/N was pulled out of her daze and smiled brightly, “Now there’s a question I want to be asked! ..Hmm, honestly? I adore Red Riot, his quirk is so coool!! His whole friend group seems like such sweet people”

Crystal jumped in, “Oh yeah, i read somewhere they all went to the same hero school, UA or something”

Kelly nodded, “Yeah the top 3 hero’s are in that group as well… gonna be completely blunt, that Shoto hero…? Such a good looking guy”

Y/N snickered while Crystal laughed, “Oh my gosh let’s talk about it, that guy you mentioned Y/N, Red Riot? He could do whatever he wanted to me and I’d thank him”

“Haha-! What the hell Crystal?!”

Crystal and Kelly laughed along with some of the other staff working who overheard the girls conversation

After Kelly stopped laughing she asked, “What about you? Who do you find attractive from all the hero’s?”

Y/N shook her head, “No way in hell am i answering that-”

“Awww come onnnn!”

“No!”

“Please?!”

Y/N sighed, a small smile betraying her, “Uhm.. well Dynamight’s pretty cute-”

A squeal from the two girls pierced Y/N’s eardrums, “Oh my god shut up both of you! Aren’t we on a time crunch? I’m still with the same unblended concealer I had five minutes agooo!”

Crystal shook her head grinning before clapping her hands and ordering people around, Y/N smiled as a giggle escaped her and Kelly.

“Isn’t Dynamight the really loud and brash one? I heard he once cussed out a reporter on live television”

Y/N nodded, “Yeahh.. but that reporter did ask him a really stupid, out of the box question, so i think it’s completely valid”

“Yeah but doesn’t he like hate is fans or something? Anytime he’s at fan signs he always look so miserable”

Y/N pressed her lips, “You know he once saved two children from an apartment complex that was on fire and was about to crumble within seconds? He even helped an old lady at the grocery store cross the road because she was afraid to make cars stop for long just so she could go?” she paused for a moment, “Does he sometimes come off as loud? aggravated? mean? yeah, but so do we, that man has seen things and experienced things we couldn’t even imagine,” she ends with a shrug, “I’m just not convinced he’s truly like that”

-

Later into the evening Y/N was behind a secluded corner, preparing herself as she was about to go on stage and sing for the heroes she peaked out a curtain to see everyone gathered around, shes preformed in front of filled to the brim stadiums, always feeling confident beforehand and right about now she needed some of that confidence.

This was a more domestic appearance, they didn’t come here to see her, she came here to be the one to bring on a show for them and bring it well.

“You are 3 minutes till entrance Ms Y/N”, spoke out a tech staff that was helping for the night, she thanked them and noticed they were still lingering, “Is something the matter?”

“Oh! No- no i just- well, could i get a picture?”

Y/N smiled, “Of course!”

She finished up with the staff and began to take deep breaths to ease her stress

Suddenly microphone feedback rang in the air and a rough voice spoke out, it was All Might, one of the greatest hero’s about to make a speech.

“Ahem, hello everyone good evening, it’s good to see everyone here and thriving.” applause erupted, “As you know this year was filled with its challenges, hardships and struggles.. a lot of you have been placed in situations where some of us couldn’t handle. Some were forced to make difficult decisions, some of us easy ones.., but at the end of it we completed what we chose to do, and that was make the world a safer place.” applause filled the room a second time, “Now, it is time to relax, celebrate the holiday season, enjoy friends and old faces we haven’t seen in a while and most of all, pat one another on the back for yet another great year of hero work!!” some heroes let out whistles and cheers

“Now i won’t bore you any longer and skip to the part i know we all.. have been waiting for, ladies and gentlemen! Please give a loud and warm welcome to the woman who is by far the voice of this generation.. Ms Y/N!!”

Y/N’s heart felt like it got squeezed at the lovely compliment given to her, All Might stepped off the stage and the lights going completely off, a few gasps let out, she walked out onto the stage, careful not to trip, standing in front of the mic stand, her iconic jeweled microphone in her hand.

Flash

The lights came back on in an instant revealing Y/N standing in a beautiful while shimmer dress, her curled hair draping down her back, her cheeks rosy, her eye shadow glittering from the lights, a smile peaking out from her glossy lips.

“Heroes how we doing tonight!?”

Applause was not hesitated the minute she spoke. As the music began to play, a familiar christmas chime filling everyone’s ears, Y/N looked around the crowd seeing everyone’s faces and smiling before her eyes locked on dark red ruby ones, the eyes no doubt belonged to him.. Katsuki Bakugo.

authors note:

never in my whole time of being here on tumblr would i ever think i would have the guts to publish something, and when i finally do it received a lot of love and attention! (at least in my eyes)

seriously all the love from the intro made me so happy and i’m glad you all love it!! as requested here is a taglist! comment if you want to be added as well :}

ps. look out for a moodboard i’ll be posting! ;}

@d1orhaz3 @stoned-anime-babe @yjploum @penguinsravioli @mutsu422 @anonymity-222

[cheesecakeluver]

AT FIRST GLANCE

hamzahthefantastic x reader

ᶻ𐰁 ࣪ °⋆ when you arrive in Toronto, after three years from home, you meet with your close friend Mandy, who has a visitor that you know, at first glance, is bound to be yours.

———————-

As the taxi slows, i find that my stomach turns and churns in excitement. The idea that now, after three years, ill see Mandy again, after being apart for so, so long, enthralls me. We constantly facetimed and messaged after i had to move, for work purposes. Los Angeles was a great city, but once you really got settled and started to understand life there.. it made you miserable. Thankfully, my work as a journalist had moved me back to Toronto, and i could finally see my friends and family.

I retrieve my heavy suitcases from the boot of the car, thanking the driver and sending him away with a twenty dollar bill. I don't think i'll ever get over the price differences between Canada and the USA. I stand outside Mandy's place, which she shared with her boyfriend, Martin. Of course, i'd heard all about him, because as soon as i moved away, they met. She updated me on every date, every exciting occasion, and every detail of their lives together, including his youtube channel, whom he shared with a friend unknown to me, though Mandy constantly called him clingy and annoying, which left me laughing.

I knock on the door, one, twice, and then thrice. I see a figure moving towards the door, and i get excited, recording the whole moment with an old camera. I'd recently started youtube myself, and had had a good amount of luck, my first two videos not exactly blowing up, but doing pretty well for my first time. I see the figure head towards the door, and i shove the camera in front of me, my smile wide, grinning even.

The figure opens the door, and i'm stunned. It was in fact, not Mandy i was met with, who stood at 5,4. No, this was a nearly six foot tall, dark curly haired man, who looked like he'd just gotten out of bed.

"Uh.. who are you?" he mumbled, wiping his dark curls out of his face, pushing his rectangular glasses up on the bridge of his nose, his chocolate brown eyes widening as he stared deadpan at me.

i pull the camera down to my side, revealing my face as my smile drops. i stutter a little, taking a step back. Had i went to the wrong address?

"Does Mandy live here?" i asked nervously, my concern become increasingly evident on my face. I was never good at hiding my emotions.

"Oh, yeah. She said something about someone coming over today. Just didn't mention who." The man said, his eyebrows unfurling as the confusion fled his face, allowing me to view him more. He was attractive, and even i couldn't deny that, as i stared into his dark eyes. The worry wiped off my face as he opened the door wider, allowing me to step into the home, where Mandy was snuggled into Martin's side, a blanket over them on the couch, as i heard the nostalgic theme of 'Gilmore Girls' playing on the tv.

I smile, leaving my bags by the door as i hear Mandy ask whose at the door, until her eyes land across me. She screams, ditching Martins arms and she runs to me, hugging me and jumping with glee spread across her face. I hold her in my arms, happily.

"I've been waiting for you to arrive!" she says, pulling away from the embrace, still smiling so hard i believe it must hurt. "That's Hamzah, by the way, the one who answered the door. He's the one who does the podcast, and youtube with Martin" She explains, babbling on about what the boys did. I listened eagerly, intrigued, as she told me about this podcast, which i'd never known of before. She asks me how i am, knowing how hard Los Angeles hit me, leaving me emotionally drained.

"I'm excited to be back in Toronto, really. I've been wanting to come back ever since i left. Los Angeles was.. alright at first, but god, once you really get settled, and begin actually connecting.." i sigh, drifting off. The people that inhabited Los Angeles, were just not the people i was made for, and oh how glad i was to be back in Toronto. Back home. I look around, impressed at the new house they'd just moved in to, which now looked like a home due to the decorum, as i see dinner bowls lying around.

Martin cleans them up, putting them in the sink and introducing himself. "Sorry, we just ate.. probably should've cleaned that up earlier." he jokes, wrapping an arm around Mandy.

The whole time, the boy i know now as Hamzah had just been by the door, his keys in hand. i came to the conclusion he must have just been heading out when i arrived.

He jingles the keys in his hand, grabbing my attention. He looks a little nervous, his eyes darting around. "I'm gonna head out, it was good meeting you.." he says, finally looking at me, smiling, his hands in his pockets. He lingers on, and i catch the hint he wanted my name.

"Oh, y/n" i smiled, a little flustered as his eyes remained steady on me, a glint in them. I found myself drawn to him, even though this was our first meeting.

Mandy turns to me, Martins arm still wrapped around her. "We were just going out, for ice cream, if you wanted to join us?" she smiles at me, Martins arm rubbing hers and he stared at her, entranced.

I think about it, but ultimately decide against it, as i had ate the shitty food served on the airplane, and felt as though my stomach deserved a break after. That, and i wasn't in the mood to become a third wheel, especially as jet lagged as i was.

"I need to sort through the boxes as well, get my apartment into living conditons, but thank you guys, i appreciate it." i say, thanking the couple in front of me.

"Call me tomorrow though, we'll meet up then?" i ask, and Mandy nods, smiling. "Of course! Im so, so happy your home. Atleast now i've got someone to hang out with when these two are filming. Ooh, and maybe even double dates, and-"

Hamzah coughs loudly, interrupting her, and their eyes land on each other, and something, almost like realisation, hits Mandy.

I look between the pair, an awkward silence filling the room, as the four of us just looked at our feet.

I knew Hamzah had been there a couple of times when i had been facetiming Mandy, as i heard him and Martin in the background, but i never thought anything of it.

I pull my phone out, prepared to call another taxi, and head out of here, as i gather my bags and suitcase by the door.

"Anybody know how much a taxi from here to Parkson street costs?" i ask, breaking the silence

Martin speaks up immediately, as if snapping out of a trance.

"Hamzah, don't you live near Parkson street?" he asks the boy, who averts his gaze from mine, eyes focused now on Martin, as a pink blush cascades over his caramel skin, slightly covered by the messy curls strewn on top of his head.

"Yeah, i live on Parkson street" He replies, and i see Martin wink at him, before he speaks again.

"Oh, okay yeah, do you need a ride?" Hamzah says, eyes on mine as i see his hands fiddle inside of his pockets, causing me to smile.

"Yeah.. thank you. Really, your helping me out a a lot here." i blush slightly as he helps me with a couple of my bags, and our hands brush together, my face heating up, as does his.

"Really, you don't have to-" i say, prepared to take the bag, as he shakes his head in defiance, which leaves me to sigh, smiling as i do.

"I could see you struggling when you first arrived, let me help you" He says, picking the bags i struggled with up easily, impressing me as his biceps bulged whilst doing the action, causing me to stare.

Martin interrupts us, as he begins saying his farewells to Hamzah. I make my way over to Mandy, one last time, knowing ill meet her tomorrow.

"Call me tonight, and tell me everything" she says, with that knowing look in her eye, causing me to softly chuckle as i embrace her again.

We part ways with Mandy and Martin, saying goodbye to the pair as they began to get ready to get dessert. I smile at the couple as i leave with Hamzah, wishing i had the type of relationship they had, watching them laugh and cuddle and kiss. In my dreams i guess.

As Hamzah walks me to his car, we begin small talk. He asks about my life back in Los Angeles, and i tell him about my journalism and my small channel, as he told me of his podcast. He seemed passionate about it, using his hands as he spoke, and all i could do was become entranced by him. I had met this boy less than twenty minutes ago, yet already he had caught me attention, and by the looks of it, i had caught his.

"I originally started the podcast by myself, and did around.. i think thirty or so episodes before Martin joined. Honestly, its much better when your not just speaking by yourself, to a camera." He explained, hooking me in with every word he uttered.

"I guess i can kind of understand. When i film, so far, its always been by myself. My job as well, it gets lonely, because journalism isn't a very.. i don't know.. social type of job. Sure, I sit and write about all the things i love, but sometimes i just wish i had someone to talk to about my interests, instead of people just reading my words via a news outlet, or magazine."

i let out my thoughts, feeling slightly vulnerable when doing so. Hamzah watches me talk, allowing me to explain what's on my mind, and for the first time in a long time, i feel seen.

"Listen, i know we just met, but honestly, i feel like i know you already. I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to, even if its just about the stupid stuff." He says, a little shyly, rubbing the back of his neck as he speaks. I find myself walking close beside him, and we continue talking back and forth, all the way to his car.

Once we reach his car, he opens the door for me, and just when i'm strapped in, does he make his way to the drivers side, causing a feeling of warmth to erupt in my stomach.

Getting in, he sets his phone on my lap, smiling. "Since your a guest, i'll trust you to pick something good" he says, as i notice spotify opened infront of me.

It nearly made me melt, as i saw his recent listens. "Men i trust, Freddie Dredd, The maria's.. you have good taste" i smile, seeing some artist that we have in common.

I see him smile warmly, staring at the phone as i type my favourite song in, hoping, no, praying he would like it.

"Bags by Clairo.. you have good taste" He replies, copying me, as the song begins to filter through the car, and i hum lightly to it.

entranced by the music, and the feeling of content flowing through me, i rest my head against the window, taking in autumnal Toronto in all its beauty, realising just how much i had missed this place.

I feel Hamzah's eyes on me, and i turn to him, a grin erupting from me without my consent, as his curls fall into his eyes, and his hands mark the wheel.

We continue the rest of the ride in silence, the only thing heard is Clairo's majestic voice through the speakers, and both of us are okay with that. Upon arriving at Parkson street, i feel a little disappointed, missing Hamzah's banter and voice already, even though we hadn't parted from each other yet. I needed to get a grip on myself.

We get out, still walking close to each other, our arms brushing against one anothers, and begin walking back to our apartments, noticing we both strode in the same direction.

"Hamzah, what apartment number is yours? Not to be a creep or anything.." i joke, seeing his eyes light up.

"I'm 112.. what about you?"

I feel myself smile, pink flushing my cheeks, and not just due to the autumn chill in the air. We stop outside of his apartment, and he sees where my gaze lies, his cheeks flushing as well.

"I'm apartment 113” i say, grinning, our proximity exciting me like nothing before. maybe, just maybe this meant i did have a chance. endless excuses we’re running through my mind, thinking of ways i could interact with him on the daily.

He smiles, walking me to my door and setting the suitcases and bags in my doorstep, his cheeks tinted pink, and his eyes on me the entire time, looking me up and down with ease.

He smiles at me, one last time. "I'll see you around, y/n" he says, walking the two paces to his apartment, next door. My heart fluttered, and the minute i go inside of my new apartment, i jumped on the bare mattress, not caring about the unboxed suitcases and bags, picking up my phone and dialing my best friend.

"Mandy, i think i’m starting to like him."

---------------

[enjolraspermettendo]

Les Miserables Fanfic recs✨️

I tried to make a selection, my absolute favourites have a heart next to them ❤️, but my les mis fics bookmarks have 17 pages, so you know, there are still other amazing fics that i didn't include (part 2 maybe?). I also realised while making this list that most of these fics are actually very well known, but still, they're great 🤷‍♀️ I'm an angst enthusiast, be warned.

( I'm trying to also tag the tumblr accounts of the authors: if you are one of the authors and I missed your url and want me to add you or if you want me to remove you dont hesitate to contact me! )

❤️ World Aint Ready by idiopathicsmile @idiopathicsmile

Enjolras presses his lips together. He already looks pained, and Grantaire hasn't even opened his mouth yet. That's got to be a record, even for them.

"I need a favor," he says at last.

"With what?" says Grantaire. "Ooh, are you forming a cult? Can I join? I'd be awesome at cults, I just know it." He ticks off his qualifications on his fingers. "I love chanting, I look great in robes—"

(High school AU. Grantaire the disaffected stoner is pulled into a cause bigger than himself. Or: in which there are pretend boyfriends for great justice.)

Part 1 of World Aint Ready-verse

To Fold the Sheet by Lyres

“Can you say one good thing about the season?”

Holding out his soap-sud covered hands until Grantaire tosses a towel on top of them, Enjolras hums in thought. “Not really,” he says, once he's dried off. “Just don't have a lot of happy memories of summer, I suppose.”

(In which Grantaire attempts to make Happy Summer Memories, and Enjolras is endlessly patient.)

History of Melancholia by Squash (JeSuisGourde) @meta-squash

Grantaire deals with his depression by documenting it through photography as he and Enjolras try to wade through life with mental illness. It doesn't make it any easier for him or Enjolras, though. It's the blind leading the blind as they try to navigate the waters of depression.

A series of moments in no particular order, showing the paths that Grantaire's depression and addiction has taken him on and the ways he has tried to survive.

Submission (Going Down, Down) by ddeadkennedys

anyway, enjolras hated grantaire at first. enjolras isn't an asshole, he's not a gatekeeper or some sort of shitty elitist, but grantaire was uninspired, hopeless despite all that potential. a waste. but then that whole thing went down, and shit changed, and if grantaire thought he couldn't get enough of enjolras' attention before, now that enj is only mean to him for fun he's a fucking junkie for it.

Part 1 of the revolution is my boyfriend

Keep It Kind, Keep It Good, Keep It Right by lady_ragnell @theladyragnell

“You aren’t going to ask me if I’m okay?”

“You aren’t. Believe me, I know the signs.” Grantaire sighs, and his breath mists in the air like cigarette smoke. “They love you in there.”

“And out here?”

“You know that’s not a fair question.”

Forget Me Not by Opium_du_Peuple @just-french-me-up

Enjolras loses four years worth of memories after a nasty car accident. Though he still remembers who Combeferre and Courfeyrac are, he also finds himself with a herd of friends he doesn't remember meeting. Friends who are exactly what his blank mind needs to recollect his missing memories.

or : the amnesia fic no one asked for.

i'm not the moon (i'm not even a star) by serinesaccade @serinesaccade

“The amnesiac has questions,” says Grantaire. Boyfriend grips the wheel. “Don’t worry, we’ll start with the 200 dollar Jeopardy trivia.” A semi roars past them. “What’s your name?” The perfect sinew and bones of his fingers relax. “Oh,” he murmurs. Just like that, defenses lowered. “Enjolras.” “Cool,” Grantaire says. “I’m Grantaire.” Something happens to Enjolras’ face which, if you zoomed in, might be considered a smile. “I know.” “How long have we been dating, Enjolras?” The almost-smile is gone. The gameshow metaphor has become too apt; someone’s lost it all. “That’s complicated.” Well. Grantaire should’ve known some part of this fairytale was too good to be true. He’s best friends with a streetsmart renegade and someone who wrote him a welcome-back-to-consciousness poem in godawful blue icing on an orange frosted cookie cake. There are nearly ten people who were waiting for him to wake up in a hospital room. Of course his inexplicable relationship with his supernova hot, socially conscientious boyfriend is ‘complicated.’

thirteen days and fourteen hours and a dozen minutes by Potoo

"Enjolras,” Grantaire gasps as delicate fingers brush over his chest, an airy quality to them, “what do you want?” Because Grantaire would serve him the whole world on a silver platter, and it would never be enough.

“You,” Enjolras states, his voice clear and severe, “I want you.”

Enjolras discovers one by one what his friends think about Grantaire. He is rather surprised by their words.

Also: body worship porn.

Metropolitan Art by ryssabeth @avagueambitioninyourerection

Paris is his home.

❤️ Wrap your fingers round my thumb by Ibbyliv

When Éponine leaves in the morning, he’s already feeling much better. No really, he is. He makes a cup of coffee and even showers. The sun is shining brightly –even though it’s mostly late in the afternoon than morning but he has no one to apologize to, no reason to excuse himself for being a lazy ass and not finishing that painting for ages- and he’s humming a catchy tune that has been stuck in his head while he wipes his hair dry with a towel. He opens the door because he feels good enough to take the trash out, and everything’s alright, even the odor coming from the plastic bag, until he hears it.

It’s a cry, a wail, desperate and heartbreaking as if something tiny is trying to cause its lungs to explode and is on its way to success. Grantaire looks around, not willing to accept what he feels coming, before lowering his eyes on the floor. In this moment, Grantaire swears, he's so fucking wasted. * Enjolras leaves to work abroad for a year. When he returns, he finds out that there has been a new addition to their group.

A Series of Progressions by AnnaBolena @annabrolena

Modern AU in Paris in which most of Les Amis are students and all of them are sort of slow on the getting together aspect of relationships, with sociopolitical commentary and medical jabber peppered in between.

how sweet and lovely dost thou make the shame by Tegami @furtherfish

He could have shrugged and that would have been it. Say that he just found it precious. But Grantaire was Grantaire and he never could keep himself from oversharing and he was already dizzy with the way this night was going, so he told the truth. “The first thought I had when I read that poem was ‘If someone would ever call me “sweet boy” and mean it, I would probably pass out.’” OR: E & R are being ""casual"". Grantaire attempts to break some of their habits. Enjolras reads some angsty notes R left in his copy of Shakespeare's sonnets. Then they fuck

❤️ Hotel California by sunflowerbright

'You can check out, but you can never leave' - Reincarnation!AU

❤️ Paris Burning by thecitysmith @thecitysmith

In a world where cities are personified, the City of Paris has been missing for centuries, driven away by the horrors of war and the worst humanity has offered him. Enjolras dreams of meeting Paris, and leading him to a better tomorrow. What he doesn't know is that Paris is now a cynical drunk who calls himself Grantaire.

❤️ Thirty-Two Times by Ark @et-in-arkadia

Marius, looking chastised but sad, says, “Is there nothing then for romance, Enjolras? It seems a strange emotion to be struck with, distracting as a fever, if it means nothing.” It is Grantaire who answers first. “Nothing means anything, Marius,” says the cynic. “Yet who would ever die for his country if he did not love some person who lived within it?”

❤️ Once We're Kings by raeldaza

Their kingdoms have been at odds for centuries, so what will be a greater 'fuck you' than to send hapless knight Grantaire as their representative for Prince Enjolras's queen choosing ceremony before he is crowned King? Grantaire disagrees, but he doesn't seem to get much of a say in the matter. No one is really expecting anything to come of it, but trust Enjolras to defy expectations.

❤️ Your Heart on Your Skin by zade @racetrackthehiggins

Grantaire’s first flower appears when he is two years old. It’s late, for a First Bloom, considering some children are born with their First already etched above their hearts, but Grantaire’s parents are warm and loving and wait to see what sort of child they have born unto the world. His First Bloom, when it comes, is vibrant patch of yellow carnations. He is too young to know what it means, and his parents don’t tell him, just—withdraw, and a much smaller patch of yellow carnations appears on his mother’s ankle. -- Soulmate AU where things in your life appear as flowers on your skin, and people with hard lives have a lot of flowers to show for it

Tetris by chapstickaddict

Cosette is Enjolras' half-sister. His father slept with Fantine and then buggered off to be with his wife. Then Enjolras found out. One day he sees her- and he knows its her- and doesn't know what to do. Enjolras is Cosette's half-brother. Her mother slept with a married man and died of a broken heart and weary soul. Then Cosette found out. One day, she finds him-and she knows its him- and doesn't know what to do. Then Marius happened...

Silence Is the Speech of Love by lady_ragnell @theladyragnell

Grantaire's life has a pattern: he pays his respects to Aphrodite, he goes to work, he loves Enjolras and provokes him because he can't bring himself to do otherwise. That seems unlikely to change, at least until Enjolras speaks out against the gods and ends up cursed. Grantaire does his best to help him, but it turns out it's just as hard to love Enjolras up close as it is from afar.

Part 1 of The Speech of Love

❤️ I Believe In Nothing but the Truth and Who We Are by Whreflections

"Under the wine, Grantaire smelled like smoke and summer nights. His dark hair curled in a chaotic mess around his face, his neck below pale and soft. The first time they met, the first time he drew the scent into his lungs, he ached with the need to mark that stretch of skin, to card his fingers through Grantaire’s hair so very gently before tilting his head back so Enjolras might mark his bared throat and make his claim. He resisted then, telling himself that to act on instinct alone was the arena of an animal; he was a man of intellect, and he could choose." As an alpha, Enjolras has known Grantaire to be his mate since he first came to the Musain, a truth he does his best to bury. With his devotion already promised to France, he tells himself he cannot risk dividing his loyalties, cannot risk a bond that would pull so heavy on his heart. This is what he's told himself a thousand times, but when Grantaire needs him, his careful resolutions may not be able to hold against the strain.

His Love Letter by ShitpostingfromtheBarricade @shitpostingfromthebarricade

Your Wednesday regular appears right on time and orders the same thing as he does every week, but something's different today.

❤️ Here's looking at you by illuminate

“So domestic trouble rather than treason?” Floreal said. “I’m not saying one precludes the other.” Enjolras said, which came out more pained than he had intended. “Are you suggesting Grantaire sold national secrets to a crime lord because you were a bad boyfriend?” Floreal asked. Her tone was bemused, but there was a glint in her eye that turned the comment into mockery. “No.” Enjolras snapped, stung, and then didn’t say more. Spy AU. Grantaire removes his tracker and disappears the same night Lamarque is killed in his office. Enjolras is left behind, trying to figure out what happened and why Grantaire didn't tell him anything.

❤️ Meanwhile, A Glacier by standalone

“I’ll go.” He says it without brashness or deference. Just a statement. “Where?” “You want to climb the Forty,” he says, and Enjolras can’t deny it. “I’ll go with you.”

❤️ It's Not the Same Anymore by ShameDumpster @shamedumpster

Grantaire is a bookstore clerk in his late twenties, and to everyone’s eternal disbelief, a father. It’s been years since he’s seen anyone from his former group of friends, after a falling out cleaved him from the ABC, but everything changes when Enjolras walks into his bookstore. Can they rekindle their friendship, or something more, while they both come to terms with how their lives have changed over the past decade?

Part 1 of INtSA-verse

❤️ Combeferre's Tattoos by standalone

Enjolras clunked down three lowball glasses of whiskey and a bottle of soda water. “We have already established, ‘Ferre, his freedom to leave us. Can you please stop bringing it up and instead give him some incentive to stay?” Combeferre cocked his head to the side, as if amused at Enjolras’s crankiness. “Such as?” “He seemed to like you shirtless.” ‘Ferre nodded. “Then perhaps someone should take my shirt off.” or When the universe gives you Enjolras and Combeferre, who the hell are you to ask questions?

Part 1 of Tattoos AU

❤️ In Defiance of all Geometry by idiopathicsmile @idiopathicsmile

Amis House might not be the biggest student co-op, or the fanciest, but it's got something all its own. Specifically, smoke damage on the kitchen ceiling from that time Courfeyrac lit a political pamphlet on fire. In which there are secrets, pining, pancakes, and revelations, and sometimes the shortest distance between three points is not a triangle but a circle.

Part 1 of IDOAG-verse

❤️ We still got time (Raise your hopeful voice) by RavenXavier

“Excuse-you!” came Grantaire’s offended voice from the other side of the room. “I would make an excellent wife, Monsieur Lesgle, should I choose to! I have all the qualities of one!" (In which Enjolras slowly falls in love, and Grantaire takes the time to explore what feels right.)

Musagetes by defractum @defractum

"You've had sex," says Grantaire, just to clarify. He gives Enjolras an obvious look up and down, as if he's trying to imagine it right now: Enjolras having sex, Enjolras in the act of having sex. The curve of his mouth gives away his smirk; it's Grantaire though, so his smirk is two-thirds mocking and one-third self-deprecating. In which Enjolras has sex, has casual sex, and doesn't talk about it; in which Grantaire speaks better through art.

❤️ Through the Narrow Place by revolutionbarbie

“What brought you to Paris?” Montparnasse asked. “A train, ostensibly. And a bus.” Grantaire leaves Poland for Paris, content to remain alone forever if it means that he'll be safe. He goes to work and he comes home and he doesn't think about how few people there would be to miss him should he disappear. When he meets the Friends who gather and plot at the Cafe Musain, he realises how much he has been missing and though their leader is reckless and arrogant, Grantaire can't help but be drawn to him.

❤️ A Thousand Miles by kjack89 @kjack89

Some couples had a morning breakfast routine. For Enjolras and Grantaire, it was coffee. Come rain, shine, or hectic schedules, they still made time every morning to have a cup of coffee together. Sometimes that time saw Grantaire perching on the counter in the bathroom while Enjolras gulped his cup in the shower; other times, it was the two of them in bed long past when they were supposed to get up, wrapped in blankets and each other. Some days those precious few minutes were the only time they saw each other, and they treasured it. Even when Enjolras was out of town on business, they called or Facetimed each other to share their morning cup of coffee. It was the one consistency in their lives that Grantaire could count on.

❤️ Hēbē by illuminate

“You cannot feed on a citizen without their consent, because that would be an attack on their person - and their Rights, I am sure. But you cannot risk revealing your nature and so you cannot ask for permission. Luckily, you have me, who am already aware and quite willing.” The chair screeches loudly as Enjolras pushes himself away from the table. ”Come now, Apollo, let me be your cupbearer.” Grantaire implores; his tone somewhere between teasing and honest. “No, we are not doing that.” Enjolras growls. (In short: Enjolras has trouble feeding himself, because he is too busy planning the revolution. Grantaire finds out and is more than willing to help.)

Part 1 of cupbearer

Enjolras looks down at where Grantaire’s hand holds the pack against him and doesn’t bother to take hold. “If you were Combeferre,” he says, “this would be the part where you tell me these things will kill me.” “If I were Combeferre, I’d be inside and you’d be bothering someone else,” Grantaire snaps. He snatches the pack of cigarettes back and extracts one, leaving just two inside. It is with sharp, savage movements that he jabs it into his mouth, lights it with the silver Zippo, and then offers it to Enjolras.

love is in the air, i just gotta figure out a window to break out by tamquams

[p3ndeja6]

✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩

c.brock x latina! y/n

summary: you moved to LA to be with your long distance boyfriend, you were having a great time, but after a couple of months you started to feel homesick and missed your hometown and your culture

content tags: spanish speaking reader, mexican reader, cultural references, overall a hispanic reader, not proof-read

word count: 1.6k

fluff ❀﹐

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

Y/N

I've loved my time here in LA with colby and sam and all their friends but i recently fell in a funk. I miss my family and my friends.

you were scrolling through your photos and snapchat memories of your time in your hometown and started to feel really homesick, you began to cry, you laid back on you side and cried.

you missed your mom's delicious cooking, how she would make handmade tortillas, or her salsa picante. you didnt have that here and nor did anyone make it, you didnt have any hispanic friends in LA. You would only hang out with sam and colby's friends

you liked them but they sometimes including colby didnt understand your jokes or references. it sometimes pained you that you felt out of place around them.

you connected your speaker in the room that was given to you when you first moved to their house, and a song that reminded you of your dad started to play; its your dad's favorite song, and you couldn't control the sadness that flowed through your body

you spent a good two hours just crying and eventually calmed down but you were puffy eyed and your breathing was skipped

you sat up to recollect your self before colby came home and would come in your room, until another song started to play from your playlist, a heart wrenching song that reminded you of your beloved parents.

you started to cry again, you leaned back to the head board and clutched your body as you were singing to the lyrics

Colby came in the room all happy and giddy until he saw you crying

"oh my god! y/n are you okay? are you hurt? does something hurt?"

he was panicking trying to figure out why you were crying.

"no... nothings wrong" you got up quickly and turned around to wipe your face. he also got up to try to look at you but you kept avoiding him until he grabbed you face and made you look at him

"y/n.. somethings wrong, please just tell me"

"you wont understand" "just try me"

you mustered up the courage to tell him the truth. you looked at him and started to tear up again

"i-i just feel... i just started to feel homesick, thats all" colby was relieved that it wasnt anything life threatening

"oh, well why is that?"

"i dont know... i just miss home, like i really do. my family and friends, my culture and the food, everything" you looked at how he felt hurt about how you were talking about missing your family and friends.

"dont get me wrong, i love being here with you, you make being here so bearable but i just miss my people.. thats all" you half smiled

"no.. yeah i get that, is there anything i can do to make you feel better?"

"no its fine, i just need a couple minutes alone thats all"

"yeah yeah sure... ill be downstairs if you need me alright?"

you kissed him and hugged him tightly, feeling so safe in his arms.

"thank you, i love you"

"i love you too" he walked out and closed the door, feeling terrible that you felt that way, he wished he could do something about your homesickness

COLBY

as i walked back downstairs to sit with sam on the couch, he noticed my upset mood.

"Everything alright dude?" "uh.. yeah its just y/n is feeling homesick and sorta on the verge of going back home"

"oh shit dude, i definitely know what she's feeling" " do you think we've made her not feel at home? you think I haven't made her feel like home?" " i mean we haven't really done anything to make her feel at home"

"shit dude youre right, we haven't, i feel like the worst boyfriend ever. cant even make my girlfriend feel loved or feel like this is her home"

i started to think about ways to make her feel at home, i can cook her favorite food? no its too late for that, its almost 8

"what should i do sam?" "how about you take her to the other side of LA, take her some place authentic, not might be like where she's from but its the closest thing we got"

"yeah yeah you're right, let me go tell her!"

i ran upstairs and came up to her door, softly knocked to let her know i was coming in, she was still there in bed listening to her spanish music.

"hey y/n.. how you holding up?" "hi.. im doing alright, still trying to get my breathing under control" she let out a dry giggle

i caressed her face admiring her glossy eyes and her stained cheeks, leaning down to kiss her on her forehead, " i was thinking-" she sat up "what were you thinking"

"how about i take you out to eat some place special?" "ehh im not in the mood to eat colby" "no cmon i know a place, trust me"

Y/N

he looked at me with pleading eyes, "sure why not"

"alright get reading in ten minutes" "okay" you smiled and got up to get ready, he left the room to let you get dressed

you wore some ripped jeans with your white Mexico world cup jersey, and some black platform converse. added some mascara and some lip balm before leaving you grabbed your purse

you went downstairs and was greeted by colby waiting for you at the bottom of the stairs. "hey y/n!"

"hey sam"

"you ready to go babe?"

"yes of course!"

"but before we leave i need you to put this on"

he was holding a blindfold, you looked at him confused and he went behind you to put the blindfold on, you were about to protest before he kissed your cheek and wrapped the blindfold around your eyes

"alright lets go, bye sam!"

you headed out the door, stumbling trying to remember all the steps to get to the car, colby opened the car door and helped you inside.

"was the blindfold really necessary?" "yeah babe, i want to surprise you"

"it wont really be a surprise if we go to in n out" he laughed at the assumption

"how about i put some music on?" "hmm yeah okay" colby connected his phone to the car's bluetooth and a song you recognized easily came on. you started to sing along to song. Colby created a playlist on your favorite spanish-speaking songs. He had to stalk your public Spotify playlist to be able to create the playlist.

"omg i love this song!!" you started to sing the song, pointing the lyrics to Colby not knowing how much of a distraction you are creating for him on the road.

still with the blindfold on you continue to sing all the songs that played, surprised how many spanish songs kept coming on

"omg how do you know these songs?!" "did you stalk my spotify?" you let out a laugh, "gosh y/n no I didn't" yes he did

you laughed at him, knowing well that this is from your playlist, or you thought it was just your playlist he started to play.

"are we there yet?" "no"

"are we there yet now?" "almost"

"what about now?" "actually yeah we are"

"why did it take you so long to drive to in n out if its only a 15 minute drive from the house?"

as you heard opening his side of the door, he rushed over to open your door, "well babe, we arent actually at in n out"

confused, wondering where else he would have taken you

"well.. where are we-" you started to smell the char smell of meat... taco meat.

"omg it smells so good.. where are we..?"

"well let me cross you over the street to find out" "what?"

you started to take off the blindfold until he stopped you, "ah ah ahh, no taking this off yet until i say so" "omg colby where are we"

he guided you across the street, smelling everything. it smelled like home almost, you started to hear the steam of a grill and the music that you grew up listening to. Hearing chatter among people.. in spanish?

"colby... where are we?"

colby finally let go of you and starting to take the blind fold off of you, you adjust to the light and rubbing your eyes a bit to clearly see the scene.

taqueros and vendedores making and selling snacks and meals. hearing them laugh, sing, and speak spanish.

"oh my god.." you said under your breath looking all over, small tears start to well up. "colby.. what is this?"

"i felt really bad that you were feeling homesick, and i hate seeing you cry, so i thought maybe i try to bring home to you... I know this isnt exactly home but i love you so much that i would do anything for you and to show you how much you mean to me, i dont want you to go home, i want to always make you happy y/n"

your tears finally fell, you fully realized how special and loving colby was, you felt so warm and loved.

"Colby... this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me, you have no idea how much this means to me, and for you to actually consider this idea really brings me to tears, i am so completely in love with you"

you grabbed his head and kissed him, deepening the kiss and full engulf his lips. you let go and admire his big beautiful eyes.

"gosh.. well cmon lets eat something, what kind of tacos do you want babe?" "ehh i have no clue what to get, everything looks so good, how about you order me something"

you smiled at him, wondering how did you get so lucky to have someone so special such as colby brock

you turned over to the taquero and smiled at him, the man smiling back at you and asking what you what would you like to eat.

[natashadied4oursins]

The Boyfriend Package-Chapter 1

@gyokujyn Still needs to be edited.

Summary: MC has a terminal illness. Since she's never had love, she's decided to pay for it via an escort service. The Boyfriend Package includes all things real couples do besides the sex. (I wrote this while I had my own health scare. It was very therapeutic).

A/N: There will be a Happy Ending. If there's anything offensive, please let me know.

Pairings: Bucky/female OC

Words: over 5k

Trigger warnings: terminal illness and the thoughts and feelings that come with it.

Warnings: Thigh riding and swearing.

The Boyfriend Package, Chapter 1

“Evening, baby! I missed you!”

Damn, Bucky looked better than his pictures. Tall, muscular, with bright blue eyes, short brown hair, and a roguish stubble. He was one of the men she’d chosen from the website. She’d secretly wanted him, but she would only allow the agency to send men who were aware of her situation and were completely onboard.

Her mouth was suddenly dry; she swallowed and smiled brightly accepting the yellow orchids in his hand. She’d never been given yellow orchids before, but they looked very cheerful and friendly. She gave him a peck on his cheek, his stubble tickling her.

“Missed you too, babe! Oh, let me get your jacket.” She was trying to find a place to set the flowers, but he’d already taken his brown leather jacket off. He held his motorcycle helmet under his arm while he pulled off his brown leather gloves.

“I got it, doll.”

Doll? That wasn’t on the pre-approved list of pet names, but she’d allow it.

She gestured to the hall closet where he hung his jacket and set his helmet and gloves on the top shelf—one she always had a hard time reaching.

Yup. Those were the muscles she saw online—his black Henley was clinging onto his large, strong body for dear life. He caught her staring but didn’t say anything; he just gave her a tiny smirk. Of course, he knows how gorgeous he is!

“You can put your shoes by the door…if you want.” She quickly headed to the kitchen where an empty vase was waiting by the sink. She filled it with water and put the vase on the fireplace mantel in the living room—a fire already burning.

“What do you feel like doing tonight?” he asked leaning on the pillar separating the kitchen from the foyer.

She couldn’t keep her eyes off him. His pictures made him look like a bad boy, but he had such a kind face. He held her gaze, which was nice, but then again, he probably had plenty of practice in his line of work.

“Do you mind if we stay in? I made some spaghetti and meatballs.” She knew he didn’t have any dietary restrictions, and it was a simple dish to make. She wanted to save any energy she had left for their “date.”

He walked over until he was standing right in front of her, his hand on her back. He tilted his head. “Sounds yummy. Do you need any help?”

He was flirting with her, and it was making her forget how to form coherent sentences. “Plates,” she pointed to the higher shelf, “up there, please.”

He towered over her. She barely reached his shoulders in height. She wasn’t a fan of such a height difference, but it wouldn’t matter in the long run.

“Of course, doll.” His eyes lingered on hers until she made herself focus on setting the table and grabbing the utensils, cloth napkins, the bowl of spaghetti and meatballs, the smaller bowl of salad, and the salad dressing.

The kitchen table wasn’t as big as the dining room table, but it was nice and intimate. She sat opposite him for some friendly distance since they didn’t know each other very well. Before the silence got too awkward, she was going to ask him how his day went, but he held out his left hand across the table for her to take.

She giggled nervously as she took his hand in hers. His hand was so big and warm on her skin considering it had been pretty cold outside. She felt the callouses on his hand and wondered how he got them. Did he work with his hands? Did he work out a lot? Look at him! Of course he did, dummy!

“How was your day, sweetheart?” The pet name made her heart flutter.

“I read a bunch.” The truth was she was exhausted from her treatment a few days ago. She thought she’d timed their “date” well expecting the side effects to be minimal that night. She’d mostly slept, read, and watched tv. She made herself rest because she was looking forward to meeting Bucky.

“Anything good?” he asked shoving a forkful of spaghetti in his mouth. He seemed to be enjoying the food—that was comforting.

“Just some sci-fi fantasy. The one I’m reading has a nice little planet where it’s nighttime for most of their year, and the stars are always sparkling. It’s a common tourist destination for couples from other planets.”

He nodded as she spoke—like he was genuinely interested in what she had to say. He was good.

“I’ll be sure to book us a trip some time,” he said running his thumb on the back of her hand.

She smiled at the thought of them on that little planet. Having a fancy dinner and dancing the night away—which could last as long as they wanted.

She asked him about his day. “Me and some buddies helped a friend move. He just bought a house, so there were a lot of boxes and furniture. I’m still pretty sore, so I’m glad we’re staying in.”

Of course, she had no way of knowing if he was telling the truth or if it was part of his persona. She was pretty sure “Bucky” wasn’t his real name, but it was all part of the fantasy.

“Don’t worry, I took a shower before I came over.” He gave her a wink.

“That was very considerate of you,” she giggled. What was with all the giggling like a little girl?

She had the image of him without his shirt on, sweat all over his chest and his hair sticking to his forehead…because all hot guys went shirtless when helping their friends move, right? Damn, it had been way too long since she’d had sex.

She quickly changed the subject. “Did you want to watch a movie after? Or binge a tv show?”

“How ‘bout a movie?” he offered, his voice brighter with excitement.

“Which one?”

“You pick.”

“Oh, no! You don’t want that. Otherwise, you’d be falling asleep while I watch romantic comedies. How about an action movie? Or a heist movie?”

He squeezed her hand. “We can watch a rom-com. My sister watched a bunch of them growing up, so I’ve built a tolerance to them.”

Cute and funny? She didn’t stand a chance.

It wasn’t long before Bucky finished both his helpings, and he patted his stomach—or his abs; the man didn’t look like he had a stomach.

“Thanks for cooking, doll. It was really good.” She was about to thank him for the compliment when he said, “Doesn’t look like you ate much.” He looked at her with concern.

She withdrew her hand from his and crossed her arms. She couldn’t look at him.

She specifically requested that the men the agency send over not bring up her illness or anything related to it. Maybe he didn’t get the message.

“I had a late lunch with the girls,” she said—an obvious lie. “Had a huge burger and fries.” 

She stood up to gather the dishes, but he stopped her and put the dishes in the sink himself. “You cooked, so I got the dishes.” He put his arms around her and pressed his forehead to hers making her breath catch. “Why don’t you pick out a movie?”

She held onto his upper arms for support, feeling the solid muscles under her hands. She wanted to explore more of his arms, his back, everywhere, but she didn’t want to start anything like that yet. She wanted them to get used to each other first.

He felt so warm and comforting and safe. She was grateful she hadn’t lost too much weight and had plenty of…padding…for him to hold on to; she didn’t want to give him an excuse to pity her or treat her differently.

“Ok,” she said against his lips.

“That’s my girl,” he said and kissed her forehead—a simple kiss and it felt so intimate.

Her body tingled at his praise, and she just stood dumbfounded. When she didn’t make a move to leave, he said, “Or we could just stay like this—I don’t mind.”

He pressed her body against his in a warm embrace and said in a soft, deep voice, “I could stay like this all night, doll.” He kissed the top of her head.

She could stay like that all night too, but there would be plenty of cuddling on the couch.

She gave his arm a pat and said, “I’ll pick a movie.”

“Go on then,” he gave her butt a gentle smack making her yelp.

They both laughed, and she headed to the living room to turn on her smart tv. She looked back to find him still watching her. Just pick a movie! What movie was cheesy and not at all serious?

She’s All That? No, the main character’s mother died of a long illness. 28 dresses? No, it focused too much on getting married—something she would never get to do. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days? No, it involved fake relationships—too real.

Notting Hill. Sure. A British guy dating an American celebrity, and their biggest problem was the paparazzi? Perfect.

“What’d you decide on, doll?” He brought over two glasses of water for them. She didn’t ask for it, but she needed to drink more water anyway.

“Notting Hill? Ever seen it?”

“Wow! About a million years ago with my sister.”

She wondered if he really did have a sister. No. That wasn’t important.

He sat on the couch practically squishing her against the armrest making her giggle. He put her legs across his lap and grabbed a nearby blanket to put over them. She tucked herself as best she could; she’d been getting colder than usual lately. He put his arm around her, and she snuggled herself against his warm chest. She wouldn’t need the blanket or fireplace soon with his body against hers.

She handed him the remote control so her arms could stay under the blanket. It was amazing how natural it felt being together. Playing with each other, touching each other, holding each other…

He started the movie that began with a montage of the American celebrity played by Julia Roberts at work while a song played at the forefront.

“Who’s on you List?”

Bucky cocked an eyebrow. “My List?”

“You know the one. The List of celebrities that you would be allowed to sleep with should you actually have the chance.” She interrupted his protest by saying, “And don’t tell me you don’t have one or that you would never go through with it given the chance.”

His chest rumbled with his laughter making her giggle. He ran his hand over his face, embarrassed, then held her legs closer to his body.

“Ok, ok!” He started thinking. “I think Anna Kendrick’s pretty cute.”

“Good choice…”

“Amy Adams.”

“She’s not too old for you?”

“Hell no—she still looks good!”

She giggled. “Ok. And…?”

“Rosario Dawson.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “The girl-next-door? That’s your type?”

“What?!” He shrugged innocently. Oh, this guy was good.

“Bullshit! Give me a ridiculously over-the-top-gorgeous celebrity you’d sleep with right this second!” she playfully demanded.

He ducked his head shyly. “Penelope Cruz.”

“That’s more like it!”

He nuzzled his nose with hers like it was a normal thing for them. “I can’t help what I like.” She wanted to call him out again, but she was having way too much fun. “Besides,” he said shaking his head repeatedly, “I would never, ever, ever, sleep with those girls when I have you.”

She felt her cheeks redden. The obnoxiously sweet and cheesy boyfriend was exactly what she always wanted but was too damn chicken-shit to go after. Money was more important, she’d told herself, but deep down she was an insecure little girl. She was an idiot.

She rested her head back on his chest. “Damn right.”

“Wait! Who’s on your list?” He gently shook her.

“Shhh! Hugh Grant’s doing his voiceover.”

“Wait. Did you just play me?” He started tickling her. “Did you?”

“No!” she couldn’t help the laughter bursting out from her. She tried to grab his hands or his wrists to stop him, but he would just slip from her grasp. “No!”

When she started kicking her feet, he finally stopped, and they both stared at each other as their laughter died down. She looked at his plump lips, and she saw his eyes flick to hers. She wanted to make out with him—and she could—but for some reason she didn’t make a move.

“The meet-cute’s coming up,” she said softly and lowered her head against his chest to watch the movie.

He held her and leaned his chin on top of her head. It felt nice. They’d all felt nice; they were professionals after all. Bucky was just the better actor. An escort who could act. She might keep him if he didn’t run away like the others.

“I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.”

“That’s probably the cheesiest line in cinematic history,” she said toward the end of the movie.

“Oh, yeah,” he agreed soberly. “It’s terrible.”

“But it worked,” she sighed shaking her head.

“Well, not yet. Remember, he still has to do the whole running-after-the-girl-before-she-flies-back-home-and-they-never-see-each-other-again thing.”

“Right. Because he can’t fly to the US to be with her. That would be crazy.”

“Maybe he’s afraid of flying? No, if Meg Ryan could do it, so could he.” Wow, he’d actually seen French Kiss?

“Maybe he’s on the No-Fly list…” she offered.

“This was made before there was a No-Fly list…”

“Right. I fuckin’ love the nineties.”

“They had the best movies.”

“Oh, there he goes!” she called, awkwardly pointing at the screen under the blanket.

They cuddled through the whole kind-of-declaration-of-love scene, but the ones that followed were what finally got her. Julia Robert and Hugh Grant’s characters’ getting married, then the last shot with him sitting at a park bench reading with one hand while the other holds hers, and her lying on her back with her head on his lap, her feet over the arm rest, and her free hand over her pregnant belly.

Such a simple, sweet, mundane moment between two people that loved each other—and they were going to have a baby. She would never have any of that.

Here it comes…

She clutched Bucky’s shirt and sobbed against his chest. It didn’t matter what rom-com they watched—she would’ve ended up crying just the same. She should’ve known that.

Bucky reached over to the side table and grabbed a couple of tissues for her. He held her close while nuzzling his cheek against the top of her head.

This was what she wanted. This was what she paid for. A shoulder to cry on. It was on the top of her list of requests. There would be crying, and she wouldn’t hold back. Crying was therapeutic for her, but she wanted someone to hold her while she did it. Someone who didn’t have a vested interest in her health but could comfort her like they did. That’s why her last “boyfriends” left—too much crying. Too many instances of facing their own mortality. How long would this one last?

“I got you, baby,” he said soothingly, holding her tightly, rubbing her back every now and then. “I got you.”

She sobbed and cried and cried. He never tried to shush her or tell her everything was going to be ok; he just let her cry.

“Let it out; I got you.”

That only made her cry more. Not only would she never have what the couple in the movie had, but the very thing that was happening—someone who “got her” and cared for her—wasn’t real. But that’s what she signed up for, so she just let herself believe it was real as she cried until she couldn’t cry anymore.

Bucky handed her more tissues, but he didn’t make a move to let her go or pull away. He kissed her temple and kept holding her.

After a while, she cleared her throat and said, “It’s just a really great movie.”

“Yeah.” After a long pause he asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Her back stiffened and she lifted her head to look at him. He was doing it again. If she wanted to talk about her illness, then she would bring it up.

“No.” She lowered her head back down.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” she said a bit forcefully. “I already have a shrink.”

“I’m sorry,” he said rubbing her back. “I didn’t mean to upset you, baby.”

That’s right, buddy. Stay in your lane.

“I know, babe,” she said gently. She put her hand on his chest, and it wandered over to his heart. It had a steady rhythm; her mini freak out didn’t scare him.

“I definitely think we should watch an action movie now,” she faked a cheerful demeanor hoping to change the subject.

“Ooh, I’m thinking a heist movie! The Italian Job? Ocean’s Eleven? Twelve? Thirteen? Eight?”

She pulled away from him completely and sat straight up. “Ocean’s Eight? Have you seen Ocean’s Eight?”

“Yeah,” he said, his brows furrowed. “With Sandra Bullock—I would add a younger Sandra Bullock to my list, by the way. It’s a fun movie.”

“I didn’t think any guys actually liked that movie. The whole ‘gender-bending,’ ‘trying-to-be-woke,’ ‘women aren’t funny,’ blah, blah, blah…’”

“Nah! I know plenty of guys who liked the movie—they just won’t admit it.”

“You’re bullshitting me,” she poked at the muscles on his arms.

“Am not!” He flinched at her little attack, “I’ll show you. Play the movie; come on!”

She rolled her eyes and pulled the blanket off her. “I need a bathroom break. You can find the movie.” She made sure to gather all the used tissues and headed to the bathroom.

She leaned against the sink, hoping the sudden wave of nausea would subside. She looked in the mirror. Her eyes were red and puffy from all the crying, but Bucky hadn’t said anything. He was such a nice guy. Probably.

She splashed water on her face and took deep breaths. She really didn’t want to take her anti-nausea medication; it had some not-so-fun side effects. When she was sure she wouldn’t throw up, she found Bucky in the kitchen.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I figured some warm tea would be nice.”

She saw he had a kettle on the stove. “I have a tea kettle?!”

“Yeah,” he chuckled, “it was hiding in the back of one of the cabinets.”

She shrugged. “I just use the microwave.”

He slammed his hand against his heart dramatically, “Sacrilege! My grandma was British, and she would’ve boxed my ears if I made tea in the microwave.”

“‘Boxed your ears?’ Is she also the one who told you to call women ‘doll?’”

His cheeks turned pink, and he shrugged his shoulders. “She babysat me a lot and she’d always watch those old movies…”

She felt herself grinning like an idiot as she held his gaze. She couldn’t help it; he was such a cutie.

He cleared his throat and started rummaging through her little basket of different kinds of tea and chose the ginger tea her mom had given her to help with nausea. She didn’t think she’d let on about her nausea, but he figured it out…or it was just a coincidence.

She didn’t know how she felt about him taking care of her in that way. She figured it would happen eventually when her illness progressed, but she didn’t want to be in that place yet in their “relationship.”

“I’ve been meaning to try that one,” she said indicating the ginger tea unable to make eye contact. “I’ll go find the movie.”

The movie was already on the screen, so she just fiddled around reading the small bios of the actors until Bucky brought the tea over.

“Did you know Sandra Bullock actually speaks German? Her mom was German,” she said starting the movie. She propped her feet up on the coffee table.

“Yeah, I think I heard that…” He set her mug on her side table, and he put his on the coffee table next to her feet.

“You can put your feet up,” she offered.

It was funny. She never would have let anybody put their feet on her coffee table before—now, she just didn’t care. She’d let all the little things go; they were all bullshit anyway.

Bucky put his feet up then brought the blanket over them. He grabbed his mug in one hand and brought his other arm around her shoulder, holding her to him.

“Hold on,” she said as she sat up, took off her sweater and tossed it aside. “Your body’s a freakin’ furnace.” She gave him a playful smirk.

“Oh, come on,” he said, “You know I got the hots for you.”

Her jaw dropped and she covered her eyes with her hand. “Oh my god, that was so bad!” She cringed at the bad pun.

“You walked right into it!” He said pulling her body close to his.

“That was so terribly bad!” She shook her head. After she recovered, she grabbed her mug and let it warm her hands for a bit.

They watched the movie and laughed and made little comments like they did with the other movie. There was no romantic storyline—in fact, it involved getting back at an asshole ex. It took a while for her to realize that she didn’t feel nauseous anymore. The tea must’ve worked.

“Ok, I change my mind,” Bucky said, “I’d have sex with Sandra Bullock at this age…”

She gasped dramatically, sitting up and smacking his arm. “No way! Even with all the plastic surgery?”

“Hey, that’s Hollywood’s fault; not hers.” He held his hands up in defense. “Sandy deserves to have a good time.”

“And you’re just the guy to make that happen…”

He held her close and lowered his head, so they were practically nose-to-nose. His voice dropped as he softly said, “If I wasn’t already with you, of course.” He licked his lips as his eyes wandered to her lips.

“Nice save,” she said huskily. She shouldn’t kiss him yet. Right? Well, maybe just a peck…

She set her mug aside then held his face in her hands to give him a quick kiss, but it lasted just a few seconds longer than intended. He tasted so good—like the ginger tea he was drinking and the Italian sauce from dinner. He smelled like pine and musk, and it made her dizzy with need.

She pulled away fully intending to go back to watching the movie when she caught his eyes. She could barely see any of the baby blue—only large saucers of black. Before she could guess what made his pupils dilate, his hand was on the back of her neck holding her as he kissed her.

He devoured her like a man starved, he moaned at her taste, and she couldn’t make herself pull away from him. She let out her own whimper, her core throbbing and she found herself grinding against his thigh. The lace of her panties and the denim of her jeans reached hidden places inside of her making her moan.

His hands were on her ass dragging her back and forth on his thigh making her cry out. Just the feel of his large hands on her ass made her slick. “Bucky!” Her hands held on to his arms for dear life.

He trailed kisses down her neck until he found the spot that made her shiver. “Take what you need, baby,” he breathed. “Let me take care of you.”

She wasn’t sure what he meant by that, but she was all riled up. It was better to release on his thigh than risk actually having sex with him.

He licked the fabric over her nipple then sucked on it. She gasped actually feeling him through her shirt and bra. “Fuck, Bucky!”

“Next time, baby,” he said and gave her other nipple the same treatment with the addition of some playful bites.

“Oh, god, I’m close!” The pleasurable pain got her more wet.

Bucky’s hands on her ass pushed and pulled her faster on his thigh. “That’s right, baby. Give it to me!”

Her hands found their way to the back of his head and neck, nails running on his scalp. “Oh, fuck, fuck, shit!”

“Let go, baby, let go!” He bit her other nipple and pressed down a little harder.

She let out a sob and a quiet moan as she held on to him pining his head to her chest and dragging her nails across his back. She soaked her panties and jeans, and he kept grinding her against his thigh prolonging her pleasure.

Her clit was becoming sensitive, and as her orgasm died down, another took its place. She gasped for breath and gave an unladylike grunt.

“I want all of it, baby!” Bucky growled greedily.

She felt tears stream down her cheeks. She should stop him—it was becoming too much—but she didn’t. It felt incredible.

“One more should do it; come on, baby!” He sucked hard on her neck, and he squeezed her ass just a bit tighter.

Not wanting to disappoint him and having no dignity left, she held on. The pleasure became overwhelming, and she cried out as if in pain as her last orgasm overtook her and her mind floated away.

There was no illness, no responsibilities, no loved ones to comfort…just her and Bucky and bliss. She heard his voice in the distance of her clouded mind.

“You did so good, baby.” He was peppering kisses all over her face. “You were such a good girl for daddy.”

“Daddy?” She breathed out confused. She didn’t agree to call him that, but she didn’t have the brain capacity to dwell on it.

“That’s right, daddy’s gonna take care of you.”

He brought her mug up to her lips. The tea was cold, but it was just what she needed; she was parched.

“There you go; just a little more…”

She was still a little floaty and not in complete control of her limp body. Bucky said he was going to take care of her, right? She should just let him.

After he took her tea away, her forehead fell on his shoulder, and she just stayed that way.

“Look at the mess you made, baby,” he softly chided in her ear. “You made a mess all over yourself.”

“Mmm hmm,” she agreed but didn’t have the energy to look at her soaked jeans.

“Next time you’re gonna make a mess on daddy, aren’t you?” His breath tickled her ear.

“Yeah, daddy.” She would agree to anything at that moment.

“Good girl,” he kissed her temple and held her close while she recovered.

When the fog of her high cleared, she adjusted herself on his thigh, trying to avoid her sensitive parts. Her knee brushed against his groin, and she felt him twitch in his pants.

He gasped, holding back a grunt. “Easy, baby. I’m not gonna be able to stop myself if you keep that up.”

Oh, fucking yeah. That’s exactly what she wanted. No, she had to contain her hormones.

“Do you need help with that?” she asked genuinely concerned. “You could use my bathroom if you want…”

“You sure?” he asked as he tucked a stray hair behind her ear.

She snorted, “Yeah, showers are really good at cleaning up those kinds of messes—not that I would know personally…”

“Yeah, yeah, smartass.” He kissed her forehead and helped her off his thigh and onto the couch cushion.

He disappeared into the bathroom as she made herself comfortable against the armrest. She pulled her sweater back on since she didn’t have his body to keep her warm. She held her knees close to her chest and just sighed thinking about their night together.

It felt like they’d known each other and had been dating for months. She was so comfortable around him, and he seemed to be with her. She and the other guys never seemed to get comfortable with each other; not that she could blame them. It was an unusual arrangement after all.

Bucky came back and sat sideways on the couch facing her, one arm on the back of the couch and the other on her knee rubbing circles on it.

“Better?” she asked cheekily.

“Yeah,” he chuckled.

“So…’daddy?’” She had to tease him.

His cheeks turned pink. “Yeah, it’s one of my kinks. Is that ok?” He furrowed his brows anxiously.

“For now I guess, but aren’t kinks inherently sexual? I don’t want to cross any lines.”

She really liked him and didn’t want to lose him by breaking the rules.

“They don’t have to be. There’s a lot we can do besides sex.” He was serious in his explanation, but there was a twinkle of mischief in his eyes.

“I think what we did kind of blurred the line, don’t you think?”

“That wasn’t sex,” he sounded confident, like a highschooler explaining to his girlfriend that she couldn’t get pregnant her “first time.”

“Oh really? What was it?” She held in a laugh.

“Hmm,” he pretended to think. “Helping you masturbate?”

She had to laugh out loud at that one. “Which isn’t sexual at all?”

“I didn’t say it wasn’t sexual; I’m just saying it’s not us having sex.”

She smacked the hand on her knee. “You’re a big perv, aren’t you?”

“Nah! I just know what I like.” He took the hand that smacked him and interlaced his fingers with hers.

He knows what he likes? As in girls or sex or what…?

“But,” he ducked his head to meet her eyes. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. I’m just letting you know there’s…options.”

She felt her face heat up. “I wasn’t aware of these options.” She bit her bottom lip nervously. “I’ll think about it, but it’s not why I want to be with you.”

Bucky leaned in closer. “It’s not why I want to be with you either, doll.” She searched his eyes; he seemed so genuine. Maybe he was just very empathetic.

She squeezed his hand. “I think we should call it a night.” It was the longest “date” she’d ever been on with any of her “boyfriends.” She wanted to end the evening on a high note.

“You sure?” He searched her eyes.

“Yeah.” She gave him her big, goofy smile which made him smile.

“Ok,” he stared at her for a moment then got up.

He folded the blanket while she took the mugs and cups to the kitchen sink. She watched him put his shoes back on and get his leather jacket, gloves and helmet from the hall closet. When she came over to let him out, he held her close to his chest with his free hand and kissed the top of her head.

“I had a great time, doll.”

She lifted her chin, “I did too…handsome.”

He looked away and shook his head, embarrassed. “Good night.”

“Good night.” She made sure the goodnight kiss was short but sweet.

He seemed hesitant to leave, but it could’ve been in her head. She was ok with him staying forever, but that wasn’t realistic. She closed the door behind him and leaned her head on the door. She took a few deep breaths then went to the kitchen to wash the mugs and cups.

“Damn,” she sighed. “He’s going to be the death of me.”

What she didn’t see was that Bucky hadn’t moved since she closed the door. He was still; his eyes were wet, and he fought like hell to keep them back.

She was wonderful. She was smart, funny, beautiful, had a smart mouth, a great body, and such strength he’d never seen before. He had some very dirty, depraved thoughts about her while he relieved himself in her shower.

He’d gone on these “dates” plenty of times—he’d had some great ones with some really nice women—this was something else. His heart pounded in his chest, and he blinked himself out of his reverie.

“I’m fucked.”

A/N: If there's anything offensive, please let me know.

[riekirei]

hi <3 so this is gonna be a long ass jake request with two parts so bare with me as I explain my deepest desires lol

(1) firstly have you heard that song baby can I be your favorite something like this ?! I'm sure you did anyway there's a part in the song that goes "my name's whatever you make it" and first time I heard it I instantly thought that it sounds like something jake would say to a girl he's trying to hit on and is a simp for in the answer to what's your name ?! what should I call you ?! I feel like he would be the kind of man who would make you feel like you're the centre of his world, like he didn't exist before you he breathes for you, he's an idol now and making his fans feel so loved and special imagine how is s/o would be treated !! so therefore I was gonna request something like a simp jake having a crush on one of his friend's friend and finally deciding to shoot his shot and he is just such a romantic man he would start the sugar coating and flirting right away !! but at the same time he would still be the one in control of your relationship regardless of how soft he is to you man is a scorpio he will dominate your life softly !!!

(2) I saw this video on twitter that he says "what you gonna do in five seconds" in response to be my boyfriend for five seconds, and oh dear heavenly father the way he looks at the damn camera saying this ?!?!? I'm just on my knees instantly !! you know he's usually this cutie pie softie bubbly person running around being fun but then he suddenly shows his smart ass serious manly side and I just get physically shocked !! the way he looked dead seriously to the camera asking "what you gonna do with 5 seconds ?! tell me" it's like him showing that yeah I'm a cutie pie but at the end of the day you do as I tell you (NOT in a fake alpha wattpad daddy way BUT as in a mature guy even though he's younger than you but he's wise and smart and knows you so well way) so I would like to request yet another smut but also angst cause I'm sad and I wanna fight someone and who better than jake who would know his girls mood swings so well to let her cool off by pushing his limits until he ends up fucking the attitude out of her, it would be like the reader getting mad at him for the very small things and nagging constantly and picking up fighta until he's mad mad and he tries to hold her but she pushes his hand away harshly and he gets to the last level mad "okay you're done level" grabs her arm and take her to their room and ends up in fucking the frustration out of the reader

Here's the link to the video I yapped about for an hour:

https://twitter.com/baekwoniee/status/1743260394989461760?t=r6usdOzWTYi_1BCVkpI_6Q&s=19

also I said younger than the reader cause he is two years younger than me and I know it's not much but still he's the first ever younger bias I have and it felt weird to begin with but now that I'm seeing underneath all that puppy like personality he's actually mature and a man I need in my life I'm getting along with it better but still please somehow include this in them writings (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ

At the end I just wanted to share my thoughts and I can wait for a response as long as you need (you can fully ignore it too I don't mind) but yeah thank you in advance hahaha

thank youu sm for the ideas hehehe, i’ll definitely look into the song ure talking about bcs im not sure if the song im thinking of is the one ure describing?? but omg id def write for jake using both of these sorta plots. feel free to always share ur thoughts in my inbox hsjahs i dont mind at all!! i enjoy reading stuff like this. thanks again anon, please look forward to the stories ill write for these reqs 🫶

[unperceivable-future]

Repetitions and Branching Off

Hawks/Keigo Takami x Reader.

Content warning: ANGST? references of mental illness including symptoms of psychosis, self-mutilation. Usage of AFAB pronouns. Usage of "angel" as petname. Not proof-read (and English is not really my first language) and more on waffling to cope.

Synopsis: Keigo trying to be a kind (ex)boyfriend.

Note: I don't know, I mentally checked out and came back to this. This made more sense in my head.

===============

Perhaps this was a mistake. There has to be a turning point in Keigo's life where he should have been smarter, wiser and chose the better option.

His phone buzzes yet again. Another message, another rambling that makes sense to nobody but her. Well, it sort of makes sense to Keigo. He's heard her ramble about it, ranting and throwing her hands around in frustration, sometimes in excitement but mostly in worry too. He glances at the notification banner on his lockscreen.

"They are parko..." parkouring by the closet, in my room. Keigo does not need to unlock his phone to read the whole message. The sentence tends to end one way or the other: the cats are parkouring by the closet or the cats are parkouring in my room.

She often thinks the cats are cute. Spooky but all cats are cute.

He continues to fly in the direction of her home, her little rotting pod as she calls it nowadays. He takes his time, both mentally preparing himself on what to say and how to compose himself. It never gets easier and he wishes he made the right choice during that one moment where the story branched off.

Keigo was never a caregiver. He can only fend for himself, he could not even save his own parents. He wished he could though.

He wishes that he is mentally sound, mentally safe and mentally sane. Maybe he could help his drowning loved ones instead of being passive, instead of letting them slip through the cracks of his fingers like rainwater when he would cup his hands out when he stands under the storm.

He sees the roof of her house and makes a touchdown, preparing himself for the worst case scenario. First he truly wishes that she hasn't snapped and skedaddled to the afterlife, second he sincerely wishes to turn back time---before the story branched off.

Before he agreed that they were better off as friends and not lovers. It made it easier for him to keep track of her because she felt more obliged to open up. Now she runs rampant like the cats that plague her home, no longer find it necessary to give him an update of her life.

"Angel?" Keigo does not knock, he simply sends a feather through the mail slot of his ex-girlfriend's front door and unlocks it to let himself in.

"I used a feather to let myself in!" He calls out from the landing, he hopes that the sentence is long enough to not fuck with her head, that his sentence was not a figment of her imagination.

"Keigo...?" His best friend's voice quietly inquires, it comes from her bedroom. The ground zero of it all.

Keigo makes his way inside and no matter how many times, the sight never gets easier.

"Angel..." There goes his angel, sitting in the middle of her room swallowed in her thick duvet with her forehead slumped against her desk chair. Keigo does not waste time, he pulls her duvet off her as if ripping off bandages. He needs to assess the damages.

"I think I did good." She mumbles, her voice flat and nonchalant. Keigo gently pulls her arms, pushing her pyjama shorts up inspecting her usual sites.

Words scribbled in markers. Some were intelligible, others were repetitions and others were smudged and scratched out by her inked-stained nails. Her arms and thighs look like those paper notes you'd sneakily pass between you and your friends in class.

'no'

'spooked'

'uh oh'

'no'

'clean'

'stop'

':('

'okay'

'go away'

'ok'

'no'

'scary'

'scry'

'clean'

'theyre clean'

Keigo is not necessarily a massive guy, though his hands make people feel as if he is. He wrap his warm hands around her ink-stained arms, he makes note of how her non-dominant arm is throbbing. The wave isn't over yet.

He wants to quickly pull her into a warm embrace, a part of him wanting to just smother her with his love and pray it cures her but it is never that easy. So he pulls her slowly and gently, trying to swallow down the flinch from how empty her eyes look and how much she stank of hair grease and musk.

"You should have called me sooner." Keigo chides her quietly as he grounds her back to Earth.

"I thought he had me bugged." She retorts and Keigo wants to remind her that the prime minister of Japan is too busy to be personally stalking her and that there is no reason for the prime minister to have a vendetta against her but it is futile but he knows that on clearer days she knows this. But right now it is not that day.

She flinches, her eyes darting to the crevice under her bed.

"There's nothing there." Keigo reminds her that there are no black cats. There are no white cats either. No garden gnomes, no dogs and no children running around her home.

"I'm sorry Keigo." She apologises for taking his precious time, for putting more onto his plate. She wants to cry but there are no tears. In her head she is grief-stricken that she dragged him down with her but her body has nothing to give only flat-voiced mumblings that makes her sound like a careless asshole who is simply apologising for the sake of getting it over with. But Keigo has learned to understand, he gets it. The whole emotionally shutting down response that the body can put you through.

"You can't be sorry over something you can't control." At some point gets her to sit down on her bed, taking over her aggressive scrubbing on her skin with a damp towel in favour of gentler rubbing to remove the scribbles on her flesh.

"The doctor keeps, the doctor keeps saying that I cannot be manic. Otherwise I wouldn't have known that I was manic." She explains to Keigo. She explains this to him many times why she seems to be stuck in this cycle.

"Well your doctor is a dickhead and you need to change to a better one." He replies as his brow twitches in irritation.

"Do you want me to call you a new doctor?" He asks. It's the same conversation every few weeks, the same doctor she sticks around with despite how unheard she felt, despite how her concerns with her medicine is shrugged off.

"I...I'll do it, I promise. I'll call them this time." She vows but Keigo knows this will unlikely happen. He holds her now damped arms, her non-dominant arm still throbbing. Sometimes he wonders if psychiatrists actually acknowledged the physiological effects of wanting to damage your own body. He knows hers doesn't.

"Sleep first." Keigo suggests. It does not matter if she has not slept for more than three hours or if she has slept for sixteen hours.

He likes to think that sleeping can help her reset somehow, that she will wake up feeling a little bit better and a little bit more present. Besides, she tends to always be exhausted after...an episode.

"Will you be here tomorrow?" She asks as Keigo helps her get tucked into bed. He joins her to her bed like he used to, holding her close after turning off the nightstand lamp and ignoring how she does not feel or smell like his pretty ex-girlfriend that was so well taken care of.

"Tomorrow, we'll get you a better doctor. Tonight, we sleep." He reassures her in the darkness of her room, in the ground zero of it all.

[halfwaydeepunofficial]

🍎 for sol and mel

ah fuck i lost my draft

🍎: how stable is my muse’s mental health? have they been diagnosed with any mental illnesses and/or conditions? do they have any undiagnosed mental illnesses and/or conditions? do they or should they attend therapy?

you picked good ones these two are a MESS

idk if i would say sol has depression but he definitely has issues resembling it. he doesn’t really care about his own happiness in a lot of ways, certainly not compared to Achievement and Glory. like sure the sports he plays make him happy but who cares about that? he’s the best at them. this is definitely healthy and he doesn’t need therapy at all /s

he also doesn’t really have a purpose in life? or more accurately he does but it’s the one his parents (especially his mom) picked out for him i.e. taking over the family business, and he can’t really imagine anything else. he’s almost completely the dutiful son in this, except…

well. except that he’s gay. which doesn’t exactly jive with his mom’s idea that he’s gonna continue the bloodline. she is super not cool about any of this and has banned his boyfriend from the house. (she would hate any boy who dated her son but it definitely doesn’t help that louis is a little shit who enjoys antagonizing her, usually in ways that have plausible deniability. also, btw, sol’s dad is generally more cool with him being gay and having a boyfriend.) sol is dealing with a metric ton of internalized and externalized homophobia but his boyfriend is the one thing he has that’s purely for his own happiness, and he’s a stubborn bitch who’s not going to give that up. it does help that a family friend of his (miriam’s gf!) is a lesbian with a father who’s even worse than sol’s mother, so there are some aus where they solve their shared problem by fake dating, and others where their parents stick them in an arranged marriage to “fix” each other.

also these aren’t mental illnesses but a short list of his other issues include:

- anger issues

- gifted kid burnout

- (this one is a mental illness) in darker aus, he has cptsd just like everybody else. i’m mainly including this so i can mention that in the ivory room au (basically an assassin school au) there’s a bit where he says “what is complex post traumatic stress disorder. can i shoot it.”

as far as he’s concerned he doesn’t need therapy and/or is too manly for therapy. sir. sir what are you talking about. Go To A Therapist. Get On Antidepressants.

andddddddd now onto mel. oh boy. oh boy oh boy. melanie chambers is depressed as fuck. she is eldest daughter syndrome and gifted kid burnout and wlw yearning personified. she kinda has mommy issues. she’s an actress for fuck’s sake. also she smokes maybe a little too much weed but that’s hardly her biggest problem.

she just. she sees everything as Her Responsibility and if anything bad happens to the people she loves she will blame herself for it. her absolute worst fear is helplessness and she’s been known to push herself to the brink, disregarding her own physical and mental health for the sake of others. she also absolutely refuses to ever be vulnerable in front of other people. like there’s one (1) scene where she cries in front of someone and she hates herself for it and that scene is after she’s literally murdered someone and is being blackmailed into becoming a serial killer. mel puts on a brave face always.

also this is kinda tangential but kinda relevant, if you couldn’t tell she’s such a liar. she will readily lie to others to protect them. and sometimes she tells completely unnecessary lies for personal gain or just for her own reasons, though that’s usually not with the people she loves. even more than lying, though, she prefers half truths that hide the full extent of the situation, especially when the missing part is her own vulnerability.

unlike sol she probably goes to therapy/gets diagnosed/gets meds in college.

[satinofsundays]

40 questions to ask your self every year || 2023 part two

What did you do this year that you’d never done before? I started getting interested in learning more about how market my business. Learning more about using YouTube as an example.

Did you keep your new year’s resolutions? No. However, I have given them some thoughts. It seems to me that since they usually are centered around myself I cast them away very quickly. So this year I shall try to set up a few that includes either others or me with other.

Did anyone close to you give birth? No

Did anyone close to you die? No, not close.

What cities/states/countries did you visit? Gjøvik and North-Cyprus! First plane flight since before covid-19 and I must say... It was aweful! I had seen the documentary on Netflix about Flight MH370, and Manifest... So... Yea. Let's just say that when the stewardess showed us the dropping mask, I freaked out. And you know... They do that at the start of the flight...

What would you like to have next year that you lacked this year? A steady income. I got a job this year, but they only needed me for the summer, and a few days ago a local newspaper article said that they will be moving the production further away. So.. Yes. What I really would love is to be able to have a steady income from my own business. <33

What date(s) from this year will remain etched upon your memory, and why? Well... I don't think there is any specific dates I can think of.

What was your biggest achievement of the year? Reaching over 10.000kr income at my business!

What was your biggest failure? None yet.

What other hardships did you face? So... This was last years answer to this. "Well.. I have been away from my family and learned a lot from it. I have grown, but it seems like they are struggling to see any difference. During the Trondheim trip - which was with my family - all I was feeling was hurt and sorrow. I was yelled at, looked at weirdly, I was not allowed to say anything. I was pushed down the entire time. It made me decide not to join this trip anymore. I don’t think I have ever spent so much time alone on a family trip before." - THIS year I fell into another vacation "trap". I start off thinking that things will be fiiiine, it will be good. This time will be different. They can't be like this again. But... They were. I think it was so bad this time that I will not mention much other than that I will never ever again travel with my family. Again... I do not spend much time with my family. When I try, there is always something scarring... We just do not function together anymore. Simple as that. All I can handle with them is a few hours. That is enough. Let's stop there.

Did you suffer illness or injury? No, only regular mental illness. After learning witchcraft and getting into herbs I have been better at relaxing my mind and drinking teas that are good for me. I have grown my own St. Johns Wort this year and have taken pills and drinking tea with that exact herb. It has made me feel much better. But that might also be because I spend a little more time outside caring for my plants. - My eyes seem to hurt a little bit, but I also got glasses for the first time this year, so... Not sure if it is the amount of St. John's Wort or the glasses that causes that.

What was the best thing you bought? Everything witchcraft, but also everything for my business! <33

Whose behavior merited celebration? Last year I wrote "Idk", but I know it was my boyfriend. How did I get someone that good? I think life always balances out and, besides my small wins at my business, he is my only light. So... It just all fills up in him, I guess.

Whose behavior made you appalled? Closest family members.

Where did most of your money go? Buying products for the business and at the end of the year an all black clothes wardrobe!

What did you get really, really, really excited about? Getting sales on my store! Oh my! I had about 14-15 orders a month after I started up the season in September! <33 <33

What song will always remind you of this year? Hmm... It have to be Friends by Chase Atlantic. I don't know how that song got on my playlist, but it was suddenly there and then I listened to it while at work and it suddenly just clicked with an idea I had. I played it over and over again. The idea was to use it as an intro to my future Salem travel vlog. :D :P

Compared to this time last year, are you: happier or sadder? Thinner or fatter? Richer or poorer? I think I am happier actually. Hah. Yes, I think I am. Even though I have had a few bad days recently, I do feel happier than before. I know for certain that the reason is my business. I have things to do. Things I like. And I am earning money with it. I know. Not a lot... Yet. ;) But it actually feels like something. Thinner or fatter? I think I am the same, but right now I am concerned that my health is worsening. I feel it. My body is heavy. So my body would wish it was thinner. It aims to be 70kg. Just so it reaches that normal weight range. That would be enough right now. Richer or poorer? I don't have the same income as last year when I was getting a scholarship, but this year. I feel richer even though I don't have a kr to my name atm.

What do you wish you’d done more of? What could I have done more of...? Well... Thinking about it now, I think I could have done more for my business. Get the name out there. Work smarter, not harder.

What do you wish you’d done less of? Watching tv and eating. [Written November 14th 2023]

[connieshands]

Maybe I could also use that for a bit of an introduction, even though no one asked lol. While I am writing this I am realizing this is turning into an absolute novel, so if you just want the TLDR here it is:

- Anni, German illustrator

- also born in 93 like Connie, but 100 yrs after him

- heard of him in a Kaz Rowe video (huge channel recommendation)

- really only got into him after seeing "Caligari" in a movie theatre by accident

- first because of his looks, then because of his life story and personality - him being so vocal against the Nazis and having such progressive views for his time

- other interests include history in general, Jane Austen, Thomas Mann, illustration and art, knitting, crocheting, sewing and listening to YouTube in the background, being in nature - I think I'm just a cottage core girlie at heart

My name is Anni and I am an illustrator from Germany. I am a bit of a history nerd. I love to escape into different times. Anything to get away from the capitalist hellscape we are currently trapped in.

I am especially interested in ordinary people and lives. Just the different historical ways of living in general. I love to relate to people who came before us and I am always baffled by how similar we are to them, despite what people in the modern times like to say. No, they were not savages or more stupid, they were like you and me. That's where the beauty of history lies for me. That’s why I only got into history a few years ago, because the way of conveying history in schools is so removed from anything human (and also very male centric, but that’s a different problem all together), so I just couldn’t relate.

That ramble aside - I am also queer and so one of my favorite channels on YouTube is Caz Rowe. They make incredibly well researched and presented videos about queer history and history in general. They also made an amazing video on the queer history of the Weimarer Republik and focused a portion of it on Connie. That's where I heard of him for the first time. I thought "Oh, he seems super cool. Maybe I should watch this Caligari movie" and then promptly forgot and moved on.

Skip to a year later, this May, a good friend of mine who is an absolute film nerd hit me up and asked me to go to this cool live showing in a local community theatre. They were showing some old silent film, but the cool part was that they would have live music playing while showing it. I was totally in. I had always meant to try watching old films and what could be a better introduction to them than seeing them in a cinema with live music? My friend sadly fell ill, so I had to really beat myself up to overcome my social anxiety and go alone, but holy shit - I am SO GLAD I did! Turns out that random old movie was "The cabinet of Caligari". I only realized once I sat in the theatre that that was the film that I meant to watch one year ago and I was so excited and even more impressed!

I was impressed by the art, the sets, the music, the story, the performances and of course by this beautiful goth boy that was haunting the screen. Doesn't help that I have a thing for tall, very skinny and sickly looking guys with dark hair and pretty eyes (no seriously, my boyfriend has so many similarities to him, it's eerie). And yes, his acting was impressive, but I must admit that as a first time silent movie watcher it felt a bit goofy and ridiculous to me. So call me uncultured, call me shallow, but my interest in him really stemmed from pure physical attraction to him. Not Cesare by the way, but the photos I found of Connie right after getting out of the movie theatre.

What got me hooked on him though is how fascinating his life and he as a person was. In the days after the fateful visit to the movie theatre I re-watched Caz's video to refresh myself on what they mentioned about him and this really got me on the path to researching him and his life. Every new fact I learned was as insane/ interesting or impressive as the last. Do you know what is even more attractive than being tall and beautiful and haunting? Being a badass who openly opposes the Nazis, who has insanely progressive views on social issues. Being a person who is universally commended by colleagues and friends for being kind and humble. Being the sort of person who spends their fortune to help the fight against evil and to buy poor children Christmas presents during the war.

Living in Germany, we all are heavily educated on this dark chapter of our history. To the point that we don't really learn much else about our history (also thanks to what those monsters purged from our culture and artifacts). We learn of the atrocities committed, of the horror people lived in, of peoples feelings, of the propaganda. We often hear the phrase "You can't judge the common people for what happened. You don't know what you would have done under the Nazi's threat". And I agree. Most normal people would not have the courage to do anything. To oppose this evil openly. I would never judge anyone for rather saving their own lives and that of their families, but this is why all of those who did stand up against them despite that are heroes to me.

Connie is one of them. You can argue that Connie was not an ordinary man by then. He had the privilege of being an international celebrity. This is absolutely a thing to consider. However despite this he was captured and held by the Nazis and still did not give in or concede anything to them. He did not know if his life might not have been in peril, but still he stood by his moral convictions.

This I am in awe of. This is a deeply feeling and empathetic human being. Nothing would have stood in the way of him being just another uncontroversial German film star of the time, just shutting up and not being antagonistic and just being famous and rich in the environment of Nazi Germany. He certainly wasn't in the oppressed class. Maybe because of his bisexuality but I am sure they would have gladly overlooked his past (if they even knew of that) if he had been willing to make some propaganda films for them. He didn't. Standing up for the right thing was more important to him. Could he have done even more? Sure, there is always more you can do. But he did what his career allowed him to do. Convey the evil that was happening in his home country to the best of his ability through film and then spending the fortunes he made from them on the war effort.

I think this alone makes him worth of all the admiration he got and worth keeping his story alive in remembrance. Especially now, when the evils he and so many others fought against grow once again. I think that is another reason why he and his life story stick with me so much. History seems doomed to repeat itself sooner or later. People like him give me hope and the courage to hopefully stand up for what is right when the time comes. I know what I do here are mostly thirst posts and hey, that's still a big component, but I wouldn't be half as into him if he was not such a profoundly good human being.

Him not living to see the defeat of Nazi Germany is such a devastating thought to me. I could honestly cry every time I think about that. People nowadays being ignorant, being dismissive, being bigoted makes me furious, even more so now, when I once again revisit learning about that time thanks to him. I think now more than ever before would be an amazing time to introduce people to his story (and of course many others, but this is still a Connie thirst blog so I am focusing in him) and I am so thankful to people like Caz and all the other people who work to preserve his memory.

There are so many other things I adore about him, like his whole wild queer and occult side and so on, but I think I need to quit typing for now. Wow, this got way longer than intended. I don't know if anyone will ever read this far, but if you do - hi, let's be friends! Also thank you for reading. I will refrain from writing equally as long answers to the other questions in my original post, but I wrote some quick ones at the top of this post in the TLDR. If you like to know/ talk about anything else I am always down, just hit me up. I always crave a connection with people who share my niche interests, so please feel free to write equally long replies to my questions - I will read all of them.

I'd really like to know more about my fellow Connie fans. What's your origin story? How did you get into silent movies? What about Connie captured your attention? What about him kept your attention on him? What's your favourite thing/fact about him? What are other interests of yours that are completely unrelated? How are you, just in general?

[ohanny]

since be on cloud gave me absolutely nothing (you know, on top of kind of serving me everything hahaha) i shall pitch my own show:

us as a bright, happy marketing guy (maybe he works in the same company nodt and perth are having their office romance in) who enjoys nice things. these nice things include good food, sleeping in and hot men. the human embodiment of #treatyourself. tried yoga once for the aesthetic, deemed it too much actual effort and considers drunk dancing with his friends on a saturday night his only form of exercise. jj as the personal trainer with a heart of gold who genuinely just loves his job. he is a gym bro to end all gym bros. his clients range from frail grandmas to professional athletes and they all love him and his eclectic collection of wildly patterned workout pants. if you miss a session, he's highly likely to show up at your door with a homemade soup because surely the only reason you missed out on dem gainz is because you are deathly ill. ta as us' intern and work bestie who enjoys going to the gym a normal amount. so basically he really likes the effect his abs have on all genders but also likes the fancy lunches us drags him to and thus needs constant maintenance. one day, for whatever reason, us goes to the gym to pick ta up and sees the love of his life gym god of epic hotness. he immediately corners ta all "where the fuck have you been hiding that and also how do i get his number, i bet he could bench press me, damn" and ta just laughs like "1. he could defo bench press you and 2. lol he basically lives at the gym, good luck trying to get him out of it." naturally this is when us, consumed by thirst and destiny, decides the best course of action is to hire jj as his personal trainer as a way to get into those grandma's brocade couch floral pants. it's not like he will need more than the trial session to achieve that anyway, right?

WRONG. us did not take into account how oblivious and professional jj would be. he shows up to the trial session in light makeup, hair fluffed, charm dialed up to 11 and wearing short shorts that show a lot of thigh and gets nothing but a fitness plan and complimentary diet advice. at that point it becomes a matter of pride. us will bag this gym god even if it kills him. which it very well might because oh god, muscles he didn't even know he had are aching and when he mentioned he wanted to work on his ass *wink wink* he expected more hands on inspection in the showers and less stairmaster. ta of course finds us' despair utterly hilarious but it crosses over to sad when us deflates onto his work desk one day with a whisper of "well, i guess he's straight." and ta isn't one to assume anything but be for real. he has been a gym bro since his teens and has never seen a straight gym bro who a) never mentions any attraction to a woman, even in a totally respectful way and b) unironically listens to barbie girl while doing bicep curls in leopard print yoga pants. "i will talk to him" ta promises and us whines out a "nooo, i don't wanna seem desperate" and dude. ta is not sure what about showing up to an arm day in a crop top and waist chain screams not-desperate but oh well. so next day ta confronts jj while they are working out, asking his gym buddy to please either let us down gently or do something about it and jj... is confused. the sweet oblivious dumdum genuinely had no idea us was even remotely interested. " but he never said anything!" "how much do you think a person can struggle with their squats?" ta hisses. "good form is important! they can be trickier than one might think!" jj whisper screams, offended. ta bangs his head against the weight rack, wishing it would somehow final destination him because how!?!?!?! after having a mental breakdown while jj somehow still goes on to finish his leg press set, ta takes a deep breath and spells out exactly how pathetically interested us is. "so if you want a fun night or a boyfriend or whatever, he's in. just ask him out for dinner or something." "i would rather cook for him myself" jj sniffs. "easier to keep track of macros." personally, ta thinks it would be easier not to be friends with either one of these idiots. but because he is a good person, all he does is sigh and say "you do that" and already mentally braces himself for the upcoming outfit crisis us will make him suffer through. TLDR: us as a dramatic hoe, jj as a gym himbo and ta is the one with the braincell that enables the two idiots to fall in love

[offbrandhange]

AOT if you were sick | 𝕳𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖈𝖆𝖓𝖓𝖔𝖓𝖘

Headcanons on how some of the AOT boys would help/comfort you when sick! :)

Characters: Armin, Connie, Eren, Erwin, Jean, Levi, Niccolo, Reiner,

Gender: Neutral, no references to readers’ gender ! :)

a/n: I haven’t been feeling well lately so badabam badaboom here we go. Also I am trying a new format because I’m pretty sure when I write the bullet points it looks wonky on mobile?...I dunno man :/

𝕬𝖗𝖒𝖎𝖓 𝕬𝖗𝖑𝖊𝖗𝖙 ~

After telling him you’re sick...

Right off the bat, Armin would ask what your symptoms are. Immediately after telling him he’d rush out to the pharmacy to pick up meds, and probably some comfort food, too.

How does he comfort you?

Armin would comfort you by bringing you things you need like medicine, wet towels, clean clothes, food, etc. Constantly, and I mean constantly asking if you want anything.

He probably would also set up a little sick-station in the living room with a blanket, pillow, cup of water, wet towel, bowl of soup, etc. and put on a TV show you like and just...chill while you watch or nap (if you fall asleep midway through).

Would they take/call off work to take care of you?

Only if you were super sick. He would 1000% be worried about you while at work, though. You’d get “How are you doing” messages every hour, and he’d totally end up annoying the sh*t out of his co-workers for constantly talking about you being ill. Armin would probably also pick up a little snack/gift for you on his way home.

Are they still physically affectionate?

Most likely not. Armin would be scared he’d get sick too, and then you’d have to take care of him. If you begged him for a quick kiss, or you really whined for some cuddles, then maybe he’ll indulge.

𝕮𝖔𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖊 𝕾𝖕𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖊𝖗 ~

After telling him you’re sick...

“Dang bro, that sucks.” And that’s all he says.

How does he comfort you?

I think if you asked him for something, he’d get you it willingly and eagerly, but otherwise he’s clueless; He assumes you’re good if you don’t say anything.

Connie would comfort you by hanging out with you. Most likely, he’d sit you down on the couch and play video games with you, like Mario Kart; or he’d show you him killing a really hard boss. I think he’d also send you funny videos/tiktoks, and I mean like, the really dumb ones, where it’s like...a fart sound effect over an image of a truck. Or a, “Can I touch that badonkadonk fool?”

Would they take/call off work to take care of you?

Yup, especially if you asked. I feel like Connie would take any chance he could to take off work, and you being sick would be his opening. He wouldn’t leave you alone all day, either; You’re stuck with him.

Are they still physically affectionate?

Connie does not care if you’re sick. You’re gonna get the same amount of treatment, maybe more if you whine and snuggle into his chest. He thinks you’re even more cute when you’re sick.

𝕰𝖗𝖊𝖓 𝕵𝖆𝖊𝖌𝖊𝖗 ~

After telling him you’re sick...

Eren would say something like, “Oh. Are you alright?” If you said no, he’d make you a snack or ask if you want anything. Afterwards he would chill with you and probably cuddle or snuggle you. I doubt he would really worry, he’d be real calm about it.

How does he comfort you?

He’d bring you something if you needed it. The only time I could see him getting fussy about it though, is if you interrupted him while he was totally invested in a video game or on a work call.

Most definitely snuggles with you in bed. Probably would do something to tease you too, kissing down your neck and saying “Are you better yet? How about now? Are you better yet?” I can see Eren being totally down for an afternoon nap together anytime you wanted.

Would they take/call off work to take care of you?

He would ask you if you wanted/needed him to. If you said yes he would, even if you weren’t really sick. Likewise, if you said you’re fine, but were far from fine, he’d call BS and stay home too; if you kept saying he didn’t need to, it’s very likely his stubborn a*s would argue with you and take off anyways.

Are they still physically affectionate?

Definitely. Eren would still, probably even more than usual, baby the ever-loving sh*t out of you. There’s no escaping his cuddles, kisses, or more...sexual activities.

𝕰𝖗𝖜𝖎𝖓 𝕾𝖒𝖎𝖙𝖍 ~

After telling him you’re sick...

Erwin, like Armin, would ask what’s wrong right away. Except he would completely annoy you by asking a million f*cking questions about your symptoms. He’d probably google them too and list a ton of possibilities that are so far-fetched. He’d end up scaring HIMSELF and forcing you to go to the doctor.

How does he comfort you?

Up your A**. Every five seconds he would be like, “Need something? You’re sure? You’re sure you’re sure? I know I was here five minutes ago, yeah, but I’m just making sure. So you’re sure?”

Pets your head, ruffles your hair. Goes out to pick up medicine, snacks, maybe even flowers. Probably tries to brush your teeth for you. You know, Erwin things.

Would they take/call off work for you?

Y E S. Yes. This man would call off the whole WEEK. He wouldn’t leave you alone, either. The whole damn day he’d be breathing down your NECK. Even if the only discomfort you felt was a scratchy throat. He’d make you call off work too.

Are they still physically affectionate?

I feel like Erwin is on the verge of being either, “Yes, princess, let me hold you.” or, “Oh no, no, no, we can’t be having that. Oh no, no, no. No passing illnesses, sweetie.” If the second were true, the only way to get him off your back would be by threatening to hug him while snot was dripping down your nose. This grown ass man would probably be screaming like a (very deep-voiced) little girl and running for dear life.

𝕵𝖊𝖆𝖓 𝕶𝖎𝖗𝖘𝖈𝖍𝖙𝖊𝖎𝖓 ~

After telling him you’re sick...

Jean would be so FREAKING sweet, and nobody can tell me otherwise. He’d say something like, “Awe, baby. Are you okay? Want anything?” He genuinely cares; although, immediately afterward he did anything nice or caring for you, he’d text all his dude friends and be like “yo man I’m SUCH a good boyfriend.” and brag his a*s off.

How does he comfort you?

He’d ask every once in a while if you needed anything, and he’d randomly bring you stuff like soup or a fresh cup of water. He’d probably feed you it, too.

Depending on what you wanted, Jean would either leave you alone or smother you to death. If you wanted him to leave you alone he’d check in on you every so often, and if you wanted him to smother you, he’d literally follow you all around the house. I’m talking like, cuddling or napping on the couch/bed, or straight up just following you around like an overly-attached child. His arms would be around your waist, chin on your head, and he’d waddle behind you like a d*mn penguin. And that includes trips to the bathroom. He’d probably sit outside the bathroom and wait for you, though.

Would they take/call off work for you?

If you wanted him to, were really sick, or if you were incredibly pitiful and acting like you were on your deathbed. Otherwise, I think he’d still go to work. He would bring home snacks and flowers afterwards though.

Are they still physically affectionate?

Oh my god, Jean would still be all over you. Like, there wouldn’t be a moment you’d be free from his hold. He’d probably still want to have sex with you, too as long as you were feeling well enough for it...The only exception would be if you got too over-heated or over-whelmed, then he’d very sadly hold back. Like a scolded pup, he’d just sit there...watching you...wishing you were in his arms.

𝕷𝖊𝖛𝖎 𝕬𝖈𝖐𝖊𝖗𝖒𝖆𝖓 ~

After telling him you’re sick...

You would tell him you’re not feeling well, and the first thing this man’d say would be, “What is it? You have the sh*ts? Something not coming out?” He’d get you what you needed immediately after you told him what was really wrong, though; but he’d also, very discreetly slip you a box of anti-diarrheals, too, just in case.

How does he comfort you?

Every once in a while he will ask if you need something. He’s not too over-bearing nor distant. Although, he’s probably constantly slipping you hand-sanitzers, and cleaning your room, or anything you’ve touched. It’s for your, and his sake. Oh, and he’s not handing you anything, either; he’s throwing it at you to catch. Or slipping his hand through the door with a bowl of soup/cup of water, and placing it on the floor/nearest surface. Kind of like when a cat pushes their paw through a crack, then disappears, and you’re like, “oh, would you look at that.”

I don’t think Levi would really want to be too close since he’s kind of a clean-freak, so he’d comfort you through, maybe, sending you low-quality cat memes he found on the web. Or he’d put on one of those full-on, ugly, yellow hazard suits and hold your hand while watching a reality-TV show like The Bachelorette meanwhile mocking them to oblivion. You’re legally required to laugh at the comments he makes about the people on the show; he’s doing it to be funny. He’s just awkward.

Would they take/call off work to take care of you?

If you were pitiful, or not that sick, no. If you were genuinely pretty sick, then he’d call off work. He wouldn’t bug you, he’d just...stand in the corner and watch you. Just...he’d be there. Also still in his hazard suit. With his arms crossed.

Are they still physically affectionate?

No. Absolutely not. Not unless you’re talking about him and the cleaning supplies. I think if you tried to go anywhere near him, he’d get really mad and threaten you with a spray-bottle filled with water.

I think he would be upset, though. Like, I could see him having a calendar and just...sadly, squeakily dragging that marker down to form an X over the day to see how long you were sick, waiting ‘till you were better so he could hug you again.

𝕹𝖎𝖈𝖈𝖔𝖑𝖔 ~

After telling him you’re sick...

In a worried, but also kind of loving-scolding way, he’d say something like, “Geez, how’d this happen?” Immediately after he’d make you some homemade soup with fresh ingredients. Only after he would give you your medicine, because it needs a, “full stomach to work.”

Additionally, if he makes you food, don’t tell him if you can’t taste it. Please, god, don’t. He’ll feel like he did all that work for nothing then get annoyed.

How does he comfort you?

Constantly bringing you food or desserts. When he asks if you need anything, his mind jumps to a food or drink instead of medicine or a wet towel, because that’s just his strong-suit.

I feel like he would hang out with you and let you lay your head on his chest while you watched TV together. I picture him saying something like, “Hey babe, let’s watch Hell’s Kitchen.” Or, alternatively, “Hey babe, let’s watch Kitchen Nightmares.” Don’t watch Kitchen Nightmares with him. Those unclean kitchens will make HIM vomit, too.

Would they take/call off work to take care of you?

Niccolo probably wouldn’t call off, but he would make you a whole bunch of yummy meals for you to eat the next day. He’d probably leave you a cute little note too, like a “Feel better, love you! :-D” with hearts all over it.

Are they still physically affectionate?

Depends on what kind of sickness you had. I think if you lost your taste he’d draw the line, simply because he needs to be able to taste the food he makes. Also, it frustrates the sh*t out of him when he loses his taste. Otherwise, I think he’d be down to cuddle, and very limitedly, kiss.

𝕽𝖊𝖎𝖓𝖊𝖗 𝕭𝖗𝖆𝖚𝖓 ~

After telling him you’re sick...

Gets VERY concerned. Wants to take you to the doctor, even if it’s a light illness, because he wants to make sure it’s nothing bad. He wouldn’t leave you alone after you tell him you’re sick, either. Constantly by your side.

How does he comfort you?

You wouldn’t need to ask for anything, because he already has everything for you. You’re surrounded in snacks, bottles of water, blankets, pillows, wet towels, medicine, literally anything you need, it’s already there. He’ll even offer to carry you to the bathroom, just so you don’t have to move.

Reiner would probably cuddle with you and put on a romance, family, or Disney movie. If it’s extra emotional, it’s gonna make him extra emotional. He will be squeezing you for dear life and just saying stuff like, “Boy, I don’t know what I’d do without you...”

Would they take/call off work to take care of you?

Yes, even if all you had was the sniffles, Reiner would have already called off, and make you call off too. He just thinks that’s what you should do if a loved one is sick. If he left you alone, he’d get worried you’d end up falling or unable to get something you need. He wants to be there for you.

Are they still physically affectionate?

Reiner would, but in a much more sweet way. He’s genuinely really worried for you, and doesn’t like seeing you sick. So be prepared for him to constantly be holding you with your head on his chest, and him peppering kisses all over your face.

[leossmoonn]

can i request a fic with stefan where the reader loses her memories (like stefan did in s5) so stefan takes her out to all the places that are special to their relationship and he tells her all about how they used to date and how she loved him and all and then at the end she kisses him ❤️

if not that's okay! have a good day and make sure to drink some water ❤️❤️

okay ill be honest i dont remember anything of tvd from season 4 and on bc it was just so boring to me but YES I CAN DK THIS. and thank you! i hope you have a good day, and hydrate too <33 mwah!

masterlist

warnings / includes - mild language, crying, sad stefan, kissing, eating and food, talk about sex. oh and youre a vampire and grew up w stefan and damon :)) and you’ve been dating stefan ever since you two turned into vampires and you two have been married for 50 years! (yay) . not really edited

————

“can’t you just do your voodoo magic and fix her?”

“that’s not how it works, damon.”

“well, it works whenever elena needs it. just admit it, you don’t like y/n.”

“i do! this is just more complicated -”

“bullshit! i know you don’t know her very well, but we’ve known her since she was born. she’s my best friend and the love of my brother’s life, who, by the way, is about to go into a frenzy if you don’t fix her!”

“i’m trying! but whatever those traveler’s did, i don’t think i can reverse it.”

“argh!” damon growled, putting his hands under a table and ripping it up.

“okay, you need to calm down,” bonnie said. “throwing a fit won’t help.”

“well, i can’t just stand here and watch her die!”

“she’s not dying, she’s just asleep. the doctor said she will wake up soon.”

“oh, as if the doctor knows anything,” damon muttered.

“she actually knows a lot, and we’ll give her the treatments the doctor recommends before we try any magic.”

damon sighed, running his hands over his face. he looked over to you, tears prickling at the corner of his eyes. he walked over to you, holding your hand in his.

“please wake up, y/n. please.”

it seemed as damon’s wishes were granted. your eyes fluttered open, a soft groan filled your throat as you tried to move your head back and forth. you peered at bonnie and damon, brows furrowing.

“who are you? and why-why are you holding my hand? get away from me!” you hissed, barring your fangs.

“well, she definitely knows she a vampire,” damon muttered.

bonnie ignored him, coming over to you tentatively. “hey, y/n. do you know who i am?”

“no. i-i want to go home. where am i? why-why does this look so strange? hospitals at home don’t look like this,” you gasped as you looked around your room.

“is she still stuck in the 1800s?” bonnie asked.

“let’s see. uh, y/n, what’s the date?” damon asked.

“1866, right?” you guessed.

“oh, shit,” damon muttered.

“what’s wrong?” you frowned. “y/n, you’re in the 21st century. it’s 2013,” bonnie explained.

your eyes bugged out of your head. “what? how-how can this be? you’re lying! you’re some witch! katherine warned me that you would try to trick me. who are you with? wha-what do you want from me?!”

“okay, crazy pants,” damon sighed. “do you know who i am?” he asked.

you took a good, hard look. “you look familiar… like you’re from a dream.”

“good, good, but do you know my name?”

your brain scrambled for the answer, but it all came up was blank.

“no, i’m sorry.”

“well, crap,” damon muttered. “what if we get stefan? he’s been her boyfriend for like, a hundred and fifty years. plus, they’ve been married for 50. she’s got to remember him,” bonnie suggested.

“yeah, okay,” damon nodded. “go and get him. i’ll stay with her.”

“why don’t i stay with her, and you go get stefan. you might irritate her enough to make her snap your neck,” bonnie snorted.

“fine. i’ll be back in a second. try to use your powers on her,” damon asked.

“no. now go,” bonnie shooed away damon.

he left, zooming through the halls to go and find his brother. meanwhile, bonnie went to sit next to you, taking your hand in hers.

“what are you doing. i said don’t touch me,” you hissed.

“what is your name?” bonnie asked.

“y/n,” you said. “what’s your full name?” she asked.

“y/n l/n,” you answered. “why are you asking me this? do you think i do not know my name?”

“no, no. i just…” bonnie sighed. “what’s your mother’s name?”

“louise,” you said. “and your father’s?” bonnie asked.

“martin. and before you ask, my sister and brother’s names are anna and christopher. are you studying me or something? oh, my��� i-i swear i’m not dangerous. i don’t feed on people. not usually, anyways. please, spare me. if you want a real vampire, catch katherine pierce. her real name is katerina petrova. or klaus mikaelson, his whole family needs to be killed. please, i -”

“i’m not going to kill you. no one is going to kill you. and katherine is already dead,” bonnie explained.

“oh, really? well, then ignore what i said about her."

bonnie smiled a little. “it’s alright. do you remember anything that’s happened in the last 24 hours?”

“no, i’m sorry. i must ask again, where am i?” you questioned.

“well, you’re in 2013. about one hundred and forty-nine years from when you were turned into a vampire. that man who was here is damon salvatore. he’s been your best friend ever since you were born. you grew up together, and he turned you into a vampire. i’m bonnie bennett. i am… i have a sort of friendship with damon. i’m a witch from the bennett line. i am here to help you. we’re friends, too, actually.”

“oh,” you pursed your lips. “i’m sorry i don’t remember you. i think i remember one of your family members, though… emma, ella, em-”

“emily, yeah,” bonnie smiled. “well, it’s good to know i’m in good company,” you sighed.

“yes, you are. oh, and there’s one more person i forgot to mention. he’s damon’s brother, stefan. he’s your -”

“y/n!”

your head snapped to the door. a handsome young man stepped into the room, worrying filing his features.

“hello?” you frowned.

“it’s me, stefan. you’re husband,” the man said.

your eyes widened. “i-i- excuse me? my husband? i didn’t know i was-” your breath hitched as you saw the ring on your finger. it was a beautiful silver ring with a blue jewel in the middle, stefan and your name carved in the middle of it.

“oh,” you gasped.

“do you remember me?” he asked, coming closer to you.

you looked back up at him, furrowing your brows as you tried to remember. you shook your head in disappointment. “no, i’m sorry. i wish i could. what happened to me that i can’t remember my own husband?"

“travelers took your memory,” bonnie answered. “travelers? l-like the evil witches?” you guessed.

“yes, precisely,” bonnie nodded.

“well, can you get back my memories? you’re a witch, right?” you asked her.

“exactly! that’s what i was saying. i’m so glad someone gets it!” damon exclaimed.

“i-i’m sorry, who are you again?” you frowned. “damon. i’m damon salvatore. the best salvatore, and your best friend,” he grinned.

“oh, right - damon. and you’re uh, you’re bonnie, correct?” you turned to the brunette.

“i am,” bonnie nodded.

“and you’re…“ you turned to stefan.

hope was shining in his dazzling green eyes. his lips were pulled into a frown, his brows furrowed as tears clouded his eyes.

“you’re stefan! my, uh, my husband whom i can’t remember. i’m so sorry, again.”

“it’s okay,” he sighed. “you just woke up. you’ll probably remember later.”

“yes,” you nodded, “that’s probably it.”

just then, the doctor came in. she checked you out, telling you that you had to stay in the hospital one more night before you could be discharged. after she left, damon, bonnie, and stefan made up a plan.

“i can’t just put her memories back. i don’t have any access to them,” bonnie said.

“can’t you just pull them out of the air or something?” damon asked.

“magic doesn’t work like that, damon,” bonnie glared.

“what if we take her to all her favorite places? places she’s been to lots of times,” stefan suggested.

“yes! that is a great idea, except for the fact that she thinks she’s in the 1800s and most things that were there have been torn down or rebuilt!” damon seethed.

“well, then what else are we supposed to do, damon! we can’t just sit here and hope that her memories will come back. what if they never do!” stefan yelled.

“shut up you two! you’re scaring her!” bonnie hit both of them, then pointing to you.

both of the salvatore’s face softened as they saw your eyes wide with fear.

“look, she doesn’t know you two yet. she doesn’t trust you two. she literally thought we were going to capture her for being a vampire. we need to just take it easy and gain her trust, which won’t be hard, i hope. but i think that stefan’s idea is great. and stefan, you should be the one to do it. you deserve to build the strongest bond with her and to spend the most time with her,” bonnie explained.

stefan smiled at her gratefully. “thank you, bonnie.”

“of course, stefan,” she smiled back at him.

“what about me! i was her friend before you were even born!” damon poked stefan.

“she was literally a baby, damon. she didn’t even know who you were,” stefan scoffed.

“oh, she did. and she loved playing peek-a-boo with me,” damon huffed.

“well, i’ve been her actual best friend just a few months after she was born. you’ve been like the brother she’s never had,” stefan stated.

“same difference.” damon rolled his eyes.

“b-bonnie?” you stammered.

“yeah, what do you need?” bonnie came over to you immediately.

“um, i need to use the bathroom.” you whispered.

“oh, yeah, of course. gentlemen, please exit the room.” bonnie said to the two men.

“alright. hey, y/n, you hungry? we can get you something to eat,” damon asked.

“yes. i’m famished, honestly. um, can i have some meatloaf, please? with some wine?” you requested.

“um, y/n, i’m afraid to inform you that -” damon started, but stefan cut him off.

“we’ll see what we can find,” stefan said.

“thank you… stefan, was it?” you guessed.

“yeah. it’s stefan,” he smiled. “okay, c’mon, lover boy. the lady needs to use the restroom,” damon grabbed stefan, dragging him out of your room and shutting the door.

bonnie then helped you out of the bed and into the restroom, waiting behind the door until you called for help.

“thank you so much. your kindness is very much appreciated.” you smiled at her as she helped you back to bed.

“it’s not a problem.” bonnie sighed with a smile.

“will you be able to get my memories back?” you asked.

“um… no. not right now, i’m sorry,” bonnie frowned.

“oh, well, it’s alright. maybe it’s for the better. i can’t imagine all the horrible things i must have done to you and your friends,” you laughed sourly.

“what do you mean?” bonnie asked.

“well, i… i overheard you a little when i was waking up. damon said that you didn’t like me much. i don’t blame you, i mean, i can be crass and judgmental, but i’ve changed over the years. i-i think, at least. otherwise i suppose i would be dead from those travelers now. no one wants to help a horrible person,” you explained.

“well, you’re not horrible, at all. for someone who has been with damon for like, almost two hundred years, you’re very kind. you’re also very funny and you try to help people the best you can.”

“oh, thank you,” you smiled shyly. “um… what do you mean about being with damon?”

“oh, he’s just um… not my favorite person to be around is all. you’ll see,” bonnie chuckled.

“i think i have, a little,” you giggled. “but he seems to care a lot about me. i suppose he’s known me since i’ve been born.”

“no, he does. honestly, like stefan said earlier, damon is the older brother you never bad.”

“and stefan, he is supposed to be my best friend and lover?”

bonnie smiled, “yes.”

“can you tell me about stefan? do-do you know him well?” you asked.

“i do, actually. he’s so kind, always wanting to help people and be the best. i swear, he works himself to death trying to be the hero. he’s very level-headed and extremely smart. he’s more mellow than damon, definitely, but he has his funny, savage moments. he’s dealt with a lot of pain in his years, and you’ve been there to experience it all. in fact, he always tells us how you are his light. it’s really sweet. i wish someone talked about me like that.”

heat crept up your neck and you couldn’t help but smile. “well, i understand why i fell in love with him, then.”

bonnie chuckled, “yeah, he’s a great guy. he’s probably more rough around the edges now than he used to be, though.”

“well, that’s what happens when you’ve lived for so long,” you chuckled. “i personally think i’ve softened over the years. i remember when i was a little girl, i used to be so quick and temperamental. my mother always tried to reprimand me, but i had a mind of my own, i guess. or that’s what my father used to say. now that i think about it, i think stefan is the reason why i have changed. he’s seemed to rub off on me.”

“wait, are you starting to get your memory back?” bonnie asked, getting excited.

“no, i’m afraid not. well, not of current things. i just am remembering things about myself. i still don’t remember damon or stefan,” you frowned

“oh, well, it’s okay. you only woke up an hour ago. we’ll give it time.” bonnie patted your arm.

“thank you. you must forgive me, i’ve always had a horrible memory. and now with mine taken away, i probably will be a burden.”

“no, no,” bonnie shook her head. “please, you’re our friend. i’m sorry if damon made it seem like i don’t like you, but i do. we just don’t spend time with each other that much, but we definitely will now.”

“i hope you don’t mind it, then.”

“i definitely don’t, don’t worry.”

you two sat in a comfortable silence, stefan and damon coming back only a few minutes later.

“so, you can’t have any wine, so we got you the next best thing: grape juice. and we also didn’t find any meatloaf, but we did find some spaghetti and meatballs,” damon said, setting it all down on the table.

“oh, thank you two so much.” you smiled. you began to get up, your feet slipping suddenly.

stefan rushed to catch you, his hands going under your arms. your eyes met his immediately, your breath getting caught in your lungs. you fell into a sort of a daze as he lifted you back up on your feet.

“my, you’re handsome,” you muttered.

“thank you. you’re beautiful,” stefan smiled.

your jaw fell open, your eyes widening. “o-oh. did i say that out loud? i am so sorry -”

“no, it’s okay. it was really nice to hear that,” he assured you.

“alright, thank you,” you smiled. “of course. my pleasure.” he let go of you, pulling out a chair.

“so, i say we compel the doctor to let you go home now so we can get this show on the road!” damon announced.

“no, they need to monitor her-”

“she’s a freaking vampire, bonnie!” damon exclaimed in a hushed whisper. he then turned to you. “you feel fine, right?”

“yes. a lot better now that i’ve eaten,” you answered.

damon grinned, clapping his hands. “see? she’s fine. i say we get her into her room and let her sleep in her bed.”

“damon, that’s not-”

“excuse me,” you interrupted stefan, peering at him through your eyes. “if you don’t mind me interjecting, i’d quite like to go home. and damon is right, i am a vampire so besides my memories, my body has healed me completely.”

stefan looked at you for a few moments, sighing before talking again. “yeah, that makes sense. are you sure you’re okay to go home? i mean, you almost slipped -”

“i am okay, stefan,” you smiled. “these floors are quite slippery with these socks on.” you moved your feet to show them.

“right,” he nodded. “okay, well, damon? i assume i can trust you to compel the doctors?”

“on it!” damon grinned, rushing out the door.

“is he always this eager to help?” you asked. “only when it comes to you,” stefan chuckled.

“well, i suppose that’s okay, for now,” you hummed.

“yes. you are our first priority,” stefan smiled.

“oh, please don’t let me ruin your daily routine. like you said, damon likes helping me. he seems to not have anything important to do, anyways, no offense.” you lowered your head sheepishly. “but he can help me while you two go to school and such. do you go to high school still?”

“no, we don’t. well, stefan doesn’t, anyways,” bonnie chuckled. “i’m going to college in the fall.”

“oh, that’s wonderful! i see the women have made lots of improvements. what are you going to study?” you asked.

“research and analysis. it’s not really a study, but that’s what i’m majoring in.”

“wow, you must be so smart, then. good for you. i wish i went to college,” you frowned slightly. “

“you did,” stefan spoke up. “oh? what did i study?” you perked up.

“literature. you went around the world teaching english and literature. part of it was to fit in as a human, but another part was because you always had a passion for it.”

“sounds like me,” you smiled. “i loved reading so much. i remember my mother had to hide my books for when we ate dinner.”

“woah, you’re remembering things now?” damon walked into the toom

“not really. i’m only remembering things about myself and my family.”

“damn,” damon muttered. “it’s alright,” stefan said. “anyways, we good to go?”

“indeed we are. let’s roll,” damon said.

stefan helped you out of your seat. you took out your IV, damon rushing you to his car.

“wow. this is beautiful,” you admired his chevy.

“i know! she’s my pride and joy.” damon sighed happily as he opened the door for you.

“thank you,” you smiled at him. he returned the smile, getting into the passenger seat.

“i’ll drive her home, i-”

“actually, can stefan drive me? i’d like to get to know him more. he is my husband, after all,” you said.

stefan’s chest swelled with happiness, his lips upturning into a bright smile.

“i suppose. don’t total my car,” damon warned stefan.

“no promises,” stefan smirked, getting in the driver’s seat. “you know i’m kidding, right? i won’t crash the car.”

“i know, don’t worry,” you smiled. “great,” stefan breathed out as he started the car.

“this is amazing technology. so much faster than the horses.”

“yep. it’s amazing how far we’ve come.”

you nodded, turning your head to look at him. you looked down at his left hand, smiling a little as you saw a silver wedding band.

“how long have we been married for?” you asked.

“50 years. 51 this summer,” he answered. “how long did we date for?” you asked.

“well, we actually didn’t date until we turned vampires. as you probably know, your emotions are heightened once you turn. and our crushes on each other were just too much to ignore, we started dating. we helped each other out a lot, you helped more than me. i mean, i-i was a wreck. with katherine turning us into vampires and all, me killing my dad, damon abandoning me. you were the only person who stuck by me. you know, you were, and still are, my light,” he explained.

you grinned, “bonnie told me that that’s what you call me.”

“ah, she’s told you about me, then. what did she say?” he asked.

“well, she said that you’re very kind and are always wanting to help people. she also said that you are smart and serious, but that you have your breaking moments. she also said that you have experienced a lot of pain. i am sorry to hear that,” you frowned.

“bonnie is very kind. too kind, actually.”

“oh, don’t say that. i happen to think it’s all true. just from what i’ve seen today.”

“thank you. i’m glad i’ve made a good impression.”

“well, you are my husband, so i would think that what bonnie said is true.”

“makes sense,” he nodded. “so, where do i live? with you, i presume?” you questioned.

“yes, and with damon. we live in the salvatore boarding house. it was built for uh, well, boarding in mystic falls.”

“do we have separate rooms?” you asked.

“u-um, no. but, if you’re not comfortable with that, there are plenty of spare rooms-"

"no," you said quickly.

stefan glanced at you, eyes wide in surprise. you chuckled awkwardly, scratching the back of your neck.

"u-um, what i mean is that it is okay. i'll get to know your quicker if we share a room. just um, let me have my privacy?" you requested.

"of course, of course," he nodded. "lovely," you exhaled deeply.

you looked out of your window, observing all the people walking around town square.

"so much has changed," you said, a little nostalgic.

"i know, it's crazy," stefan laughed. "but, i'll take you to all the old places we used to go, and the new ones you have gown accustomed to."

"sounds like a deal. you know, i'm excited. is that um… strange that i am so lively after having just woken up from my memories being taken away?" you chuckled a little.

"no, no, not at all. you were always really happy and upbeat, even on the darkest days. that's one of the reasons why i fell in love with you. you may not believe this, but, i'm kind of a debby-downer. you keep it light and fun, much like damon, actually. seems as though all that time you spent with him, as young as you were, you developed someone his behaviour."

"is that a bad thing? bonnie insinuated that damon isn't a good guy," you frowned.

"no, no. you're different. you pick and choose when to be a little um… eccentric. damon just says whatever comes out of his mouth, no matter what the situation is."

"i suppose that's another reason why you love me?" you grinned. "yes, you suppose right," he nodded.

"is this the boarding house?" you pointed to the mansion stefan was pulling in to.

"yes, it is. and, you can call it your home. that's what it is," stefan said.

"alright. it's beautiful." you admired the front.

"it's even better inside. especially our bedroom. you really know how to decorate." he got out of the car, opening the door for you.

"you're very chivalrous. i like it," you giggled. "well, anything for my girl," he flashed a warm smile.

your stomach flipped suddenly, a similar feeling to your heart hammering in your chest awakened. if your heart was still alive, then you it would be palpitating and ramming into your ribcage. you smiled back at him, getting out of the car.

you two walked together to the front, stefan opening the door without unlocking it.

"do we always keep the door unlocked?" you asked. "yeah. you know, the only people we are really worried about are vampires and well, you can't get in unless you invite them in," he answered.

"oh, right. well, that's nice. we don't have to worry so much about security," you said as you stepped inside.

he nodded in agreement, closing the door behind him once you two went inside.

"wow. you're right, it is better inside," you gasped. "mmhm. so, let me show you around. this is the grand study. it was mostly used by our nephew zach, but damon killed him as soon as he got here," stefan sighed.

"o-oh. and damon is supposed to be my best friend?"

"he's better than that, don't worry. you'll see, you'll remember," stefan patted your back.

"alright," you nodded. "anyways, right here is the library's and just out here is the grand hall. here is the dining room and the living room. back there is the kitchen, and next to it is the hearth room." stefan walked you around the house.

"it's amazing. wow, and to think this is my home," you laughed. "yep, all yours," stefan smiled as he heard your laugh.

he admired you as you walked through the living room, feeling around the bookshelves and the furniture. he missed this, seeing you back at home. before you woke up in the hospital, you had been kidnapped and tortured for two weeks before the travelers dumped you in the backyard of your house. after that, stefan rushed you to the hospital and about a day later you were awake. and now here you were, making yourself at home again. you looked so pretty in the setting sunlight. stefan almost wanted to cry at the relief of finally having you home.

"show me the upstairs?" your voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

"yeah, yeah, of course," he nodded. he reached his hand out to you, you taking it graciously.

you both smiled at each other, stefan leading you up the stairs.

"so, up here is damon's room. that's where elena, his girlfriend, and him usually are. they have so much sex, you won't be able to get much rest here," stefan snorted.

"i'll make sure to wear my earplugs," you giggled.

stefan smiled at you, walking you to the next rooms. "these are the baths. and right here is our room. every other room up here is a guest room, but uh, this is the main event, i suppose." he opened the bedroom door, letting you peer inside of it.

he was right, you were a great decorator.

the room had green walls, bookshelves on the walls, and a few plants here and there. there was a big bed in the middle with gray sheets, pictures of the two of you hanging above the bed frame. there was a desk and chair in the middle of the room, books and papers strewn all over the desk top. there were picture of you two all over the walls, making you smile whilst also crying.

"what's wrong?" stefan rushed to you.

"oh, it's nothing. i just…" you sighed, turning to him. "these pictures are so lovely. i-i wish i could remember these events."

stefan took your hand in his, giving you a small smile. "don't worry about it. it's not your fault that you can remember.”

"right," you nodded, still disappointed in yourself.

"why don't we go and walk around town? maybe that'll help get your memories back," stefan suggested.

"that sounds fun, but i don't think walking around will reverse dark magic," you joked.

stefan chuckled, nodding in agreement. "you're right, but, you're starting to remember your own childhood. we don't know what the travelers took from you, so maybe they didn't take the memories of you and i. you might just have amnesia."

"i'd love to do anything to try and remember," you said. "me, too. before we go, do you want to change clothes? you've had these clothes on for two weeks," stefan gestured to your ripped shirt and dirty jeans.

"oh, yes. i didn't even realise i was wearing these." you looked down at your legs, eyes widening at the fact you were wearing pants. "when did they invent these?"

"1873, but women still couldn't wear them until the 19th century. and even then, women didn't wear them as regular clothing until the mid-20th century," he explained.

“well, i’m glad that i’ve stayed alive this long to be able to wear these. what are they called again?” you asked.

“jeans,” stefan answered. he walked over to your closet, opening it and presenting all your clothes. “and you have lots of jeans. so, go ahead and get changed into whatever. if you want to shower then go ahead, the bathroom is to the right.”

you nodded, “thank you. i’ll be done in a few minutes.”

“no problem. take your time,” he smiled.

you returned the expression, watching him as he left the room, shutting the door behind him.

you went to your closet, running your hands over your clothes. you had lots of grey, purple, and blue shirts. you saw lots of ripped jeans, some were their regular blue and others were white or black. you chose a light purple, short- sleeved shirt and a pair of dark-wash jeans. you found a pair of black panties and a black bra to match.

you went into the bathroom, turning the shower on and undressing. you put your dirty clothes in a near pile on the floor as you didn’t know where the hamper was. you set your clean clothes onto the bathroom sink, jumping into the shower.

the hot water felt so good, it was hard to get out, but you didn’t want to keep stefan waiting too long. you dried off quickly, looking at yourself in the mirror after you got dressed. you didn’t realize, but you were very dirty and tired-looking before showering. you looked better now. more awake, clean, and pretty.

you didn’t bother putting on makeup, not even knowing where you kept it. you went downstairs, finding stefan in the living room reading a book.

“i am ready,” you announced.

stefan looked up, jaw dropping as he looked over you.

“you look gorgeous,” he spoke.

you smiled shyly, lowering your head in bashfulness. “thank you. it’s not much, just a comfortable outfit.”

“doesn’t matter. you look amazing,” he shrugged.

“thank you, again.”

“of course,” he smiled. “let’s go ahead and go, yeah?”

you nodded, slipping on your shoes as you followed him out to the garage. you got into stefan’s car, driving back to town square.

“a lot of places have been built or torn down. i’m going to take you to the places we used to go to in this century, then go to the places from long ago that have been torn down,” he explained.

“sounds good,” you nodded.

he parked next to the strip mall, getting out and opening the door for you.

“are men still as chivalrous as you?” you jumped out of the car.

“no, not at all, but i like to be known as a gentleman. it sets a good first impression,” he answered.

“that’s sad,” you frowned. “it is. honestly, most guys nowadays are jerks and are selfish. no one teaches kindness anymore,” he sighed.

“well, i’m thankful i chose a man who still cares about those things. it really reflects on what kind of man you are.”

“i agree,” stefan nodded.

you two walked onto the side walk, stefan lacing your fingers together and guiding you into a store.

“this is your favorite store in the whole

town square. you always rave about the good deals and i’ve bought you lots of jewelry here,” he explained.

you hummed in reply, looking over the store. “it’s quaint. i see how it would appeal to me.”

“yeah, this store is the most popular one here, i’m pretty sure.”

“the owner must be rich, then.”

“probably is,” stefan nodded.

he then led you out of the store, explaining all the other stores and restaurants in the town square before stopping and showing you a specific place you liked.

“this is the grill, the most popular restaurant here. you and caroline, who you have yet to meet, love to sing karaoke here. you and bonnie and elena, who again, you have yet to meet, play pool here and get tipsy on the weekend.”

“what is karaoke and pool?” you questioned.

“karaoke is when you pick a song you like, and you sing it with a friend, or sometimes yourself. a lot of bars have karaoke, and some restaurants do, like this one. it’s just a fun activity for drunk people, honestly. and pool

is this game over there. you see those people

shooting the balls with the sticks?” he pointed across the room.

you studied them, seeing as they would curse in disappeared, or jump and clap in happiness.

“yes, it looks fun.”

“it is, and you’re quite good at it. maybe tomorrow you can meet everyone else and i’ll teach you how to play,” he suggested.

“i would like that very much,” you smiled.

“me, too,” he smiled back. “are you hungry? we can take a break from walking and get something to eat.”

“my stomach does ache a little. what kind of food do they have here?”

“burgers, fries, salad. classic american stuff, basically. i can order what you usually do.”

“sure, but i’m afraid to tell you that i have no money,” you sighed.

“it’s not a problem. this is my treat. plus, we have a joint bank account so, it doesn’t really matter who pays.””

“wow, that’s nice.”

“it definitely is.”

stefan then led you to a small booth, ordering immediately once the waiter came.

“tell me more about yourself,” you prompted.

stefan stared at you, not expecting you to want to know about him. it wasn’t completely surprising, but you just seemed a lot more interested in the town than him. he was happy that you asked, though. it reassured him that you two had a chance, even if you two had to rebuilt your relationship.

“okay, well, my birthday is november 1st, 1846. my favorite color is blue, my favorite type of alcohol is bourbon, but i do like a glass of whiskey every once in a while. one of my best friends was lexi branson. she was also your friend, too, but damon killed her for absolutely no reason.”

“oh, my - i am so sorry, stefan,” you gasped. “oh, it’s alright. damon has uh, since proved himself to be better… unfortunately,” stefan sighed.

you put your hand on his, looking him in the eyes.

“it’s not alright, stefan. i know you say damon is a lot better than people say, and that he has proven himself better, but that doesn’t justify what he did. i’m so sorry you lost lexi. i understand what it is it like to lose someone so close to you. i’m sure you remember, but i lost christopher only a few years after we became vampires. i don’t remember all of it, but i do remember terrorizing a whole village because of the anger and depression i felt. i’m sure lexi was an amazing young woman. one day, i would love it if you told me more about her.”

stefan smiled at you gratefully, eyes prickling with tears. “thank you, y/n. it means a lot to me. and yes, i’d love to tell you about her.”

“fantastic.” you squeezed his hand for support, the gesture warming his chest. “anyways, go on,” you said, keeping your hand on his.

“alright. well, i love i love lucy, which is a ‘50s sitcom that, funnily enough, you hated,” he chuckled.

“what is a sitcom and why did i hate it?” your brows knitted together in confusion.

“well, a sitcom is a comedy tv show. and a tv show is content that is broadcasted onto something that is called a television, which was the big black screen in the living room of our house. sitcom is a type of tv show. there are sitcoms, dramas, romance, horror, and lots of others. a lot of these genres bleed together, much like books. and as for why you hated the show, you just thought it was annoying because i would watch it all the time.”

“well, i do have a short temperament, so that explains it, i suppose. that tv show thing is a little confusing. can you show me how it works when we get home?”

“yes, of course. i can show you your favorite tv shows and movies,” he nodded eagerly.

“lovely,” you smiled at his enthusiasm. “so, what else do you like?”

“well, i am a fan of scorcese, who is a famous tv director. he directed taxi driver, which is a film i am a fan of. i love to cook, and i’m quite good at it, if i do say so myself. um, let’s see… what else is there…” he trailed off, looking at the table as he thought. “i am a bit or a hoarder, as you probably could see in our room. i enjoy any and all types of music, i have a rose tattoo on my right shoulder, and i am a scorpio, if that means anything to do.”

he looked back up at you, the tips of his ears turning pink as he realized you were staring and smiling at him the whole time.

“why’re you looking at me like that?” he asked.

“it’s just nice hearing all these things about you. i can piece together who you are, who the man i am married to is. it’s obvious you don’t open up to people a lot, and i appreciate you doing that with me,” you explained.

“oh, well, it’s no problem. you’ll remember all these things, anyways. but this is just surface level stuff, nothing special.”

“i think it is special and important. now that i know you a little better, i’m able to talk to you more and be more comfortable.”

“mm, that’s true,” he nodded.

you gave him a small smile, your food then arriving.

“wow, this is a lot,” you chuckled, looking at the cheeseburger and fries.

“it’s really good, too,” stefan said.

“how do i eat this?” you asked. “pick it up in your hands and take a bite, like this.” stefan took a bite of his burger and fries.

you followed in suit, groaning in pleasure.

“my, they never had this food at home. this is delicious.”

“i know, right? so glad america stopped the wine and beef soup at dinner.”

you giggled, nodding in agreement. you two ate in silence, stefan paying before you two left.

“do you want to continue going around town, or are you tired?” stefan asked.

“i want to continue,” you stated.

“alright. time to go to all the torn down places now,” he sighed, walking you back to his car.

you two drove a little ways away from town square, finding yourselves at the cemetery.

“are anna, christoper, and my mother buried here?” you asked.

“yes, they are. do you want to see their graves?” stefan asked.

you sat in the car for a few moments, holding your seatbelt in thought. you shook your head as an answer.

“no, i would hate to put a damper on this lovely evening.”

“oh, well, it’s okay. you always manage to make things bright and happy, even when we’re visiting the cemetery, but if you really don’t want to, then i’ll take you to the salvatore estate, and where your house was located.”

“mm, i am sure. we can visit some other time,” you smiled.

he returned the expression. “alright.” he got out, going to open the door for you, but you had already jumped out.

“sorry, i um, wanted to see how the door works,” you admitted sheepishly.

stefan grinned, finding your curiosity adorable. “no worries. ready to go?”

“indeed i am,” you nodded.

you took the initiative and laced your fingers with his. stefan glanced at you, his chest swelling with joy. it was almost like old times.

“so, where is the salvatore estate?” you asked.

“it’s just a mile into the woods. there’s only a singular pillar there because it got torn down, but the pillar marks the spot where the house stood.”

“why did it get torn down? it was such a beautiful home. surely someone from these days would want to live in it,” you frowned.

“you’d think that, but i guess folks these days want something more modern. but, wait, do you remember my house?” hope filled his eyes, carrying all the way through his voice.

“i think i do. it seems… familiar in my mind. i remember the front of the house, the beautiful entrance and the pretty rose bushes, the steps that led up to the door. i remember a room… it was of medium size. there was a big bed in the middle, a deep-sea blue carpet under it. there was a bug mirror across from the bed, a painting or two hung up on the walls. there was a small desk in the corner next to the closet. the room is very empty, but it brings back feelings of warmth and calmness.”

“yeah, that was my room. you spent most of your summer’s in there with me.”

“oh,” your eyes lit up. “you said that we didn’t officially get together until after we were vampires, but i remember being in the bed in lots of white, button-up shirts. did we-?” you looked to him, eyes wide and hoping he would say yes.

his cheeks were tainted pink as he nodded. “yes, we had lots of fun nights, but not all of them consisted of sex.”

“i see,” you nodded, a little smile on your face. “what else did we do besides sleep together, then?”

“well, most times we just laid there in each other’s arms. sometimes i would read to you and you would fall asleep in my arms. other times we danced, sang, talked about the future together. and let me tell you, we definitely did not imagine an eternity together, but i’m really glad it turned out that way. despite all the pain we suffered.”

your chest warmed as you imagine you two in the 1800s, doing more and being more than just friends with intimate relations.

“does damon know of this?” you questioned.

“he does, but no one else doesn’t. to make things easier, we just told everyone that we started dating after we became vampires, and that we got married in 1963, which we did.”

“and how was the wedding?” you asked.

“the best night of my life,” he grinned. “we have lots of pictures of that night in the living room and our room, which i will show you when we get back.”

“i can’t wait,” you smiled giddily.

you squeezed stefan’s hand, the gesture making both of your body’s shiver.

“here it is,” he said, taking you closer to the singular pillar.

you let go of his hand slowly, walking around the property. you closed your eyes, feeling the cool breeze fan your face. you stood in the middle, right where the living room be. lots of memories then flooded back to you, making you snap your eyes open.

“your father didn’t like us together,” you stated.

stefan furrowed his brows. “yes, how-how do you know that?”

you didn’t answer him, continuing to reminisce.

“i was meant to wed damon, yet, i fell in love with you. your mother would let us play together, knowing that the fate your father decided wasn’t going to happen. she accepted us. she actually liked us better together than damon and i. she thought damon was too wild, too untamed to settle down so young. he was like her, in that way. but you, once you saw me at our first ball at age 14, you knew i was the one. i remember you telling me this one night on my sixteenth birthday. you had taken me up to your room, sneaking up extra cake for me, and we laid together on your bed. that was both of our first time that night - it was amazing. you told me before we went to bed about your growing feelings for me. that night we both said ‘i love you’ for the first time.”

stefan stared at you, mouth agape and tears welling in his eyes.

“you-you really remember that?”

“i do,” you smiled slowly at him. “i remember the marks you left on my skin, the joy i felt as you held my hand, the way i cried when you told me that you loved me. i-i’m afraid that this is all i remember, but -“

“no, no, it’s enough. it’s more than enough,” he sniffled, coming closer to you. he slipped his hand into yours, his other hand wrapping around your waist.

you smiled, putting your free hand on his cheek, rubbing your thumb up and down on his cheekbones. you looked into his eyes, studying his face as your hand went up and ran itself through his hair. you brought your hand back down to cup his cheek, your fingers dancing along his jawline.

“i also remember skipping school, playing football in the backyard, me wearing your shirt for the first time and it leading to us sleeping together again,” you giggled.

“how do you remember all of this?” he asked.

“the travelers must’ve just took all the important information about us, which we can deal with later. i want to enjoy this moment now,” you breathed out.

“thank god that they took that important stuff. it’s not that important once you think about it,” he nodded.

“i agree. i bet damon wouldn’t agree about that, though,” you joked.

“well, damon has never been madly in love until the last couple of years. but, me? i’m been in love with you forever.”

your lips spread widely and you looked deeply into his eyes, feeling yourself falling for him again.

“i love you,” you exhaled. stefan grinned, “i love you more.”

“nu-uh,” you shook your head. “mmhm,” he smirked.

you moved in closer, your nose bumping his softly. your eyes flickered down from his eyes to his lips multiple times before closing the gap. your lips met his in slow motion, immediately moving with his. his lips were soft and kissed you well, like he had done this a million times before, and couldn’t wait to do it again. he held you close against him, breathing in deeply at the taste of your lips. he felt at peace once again, whole and complete. and as for you, you felt alive.

every atom in your body was humming in pleasure. the feeling of his hands in your body, fitting right in with your curves, were like finally finishing a puzzle. it gave you butterflies, the way he tasted and smelled. the way he kissed you was delicious. it was gentle, but passionate. his lips worked against yours quickly, his tongue sliding against yours, eliciting a small moan from your throat. your teeth bumped each other gently, causing the kiss to then become fast, needy, hot.

you pulled away before anything else could commence, your chest heaving up and down. a line of spit broke off from your lips, breaking off as the breeze ran through it.

“remember anything else now?” stefan breathed out.

“just how much i’ve missed you,” you stated.

“i’ve missed you, too, baby. wanna go and see where old home was now?”

“yes, i’d love that,” you nodded. “great. come and follow me, then we can go home and i’ll make you your favorite meal, okay?” he suggested.

“that sounds amazing.”

“i’m so glad to have you back, y/n,” he squeezed your hand.

“i’m glad to be back.”

————

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[sunarintoes]

Haikyuu Aces - Boyfriend Headcanons

Includes: Aran Ojiro, Iwaizumi Hajime, Bokuto Koutarou

*sorry gang, havent had time to capitalise everything yet! ill do that when i get home :)

✗ okokokok 

✗ aran my beloved <3

✗ he is so sweet and cute oml i actually love him 

✗ hmmmmm Aran seems like the typa dude to kinda love pda? Like definitely not all that icky make out in the middle of the grocery store type beat 🤢but more like the kinda ‘i like holding your hand because i love being close to you’

✗ yeahhhh he’s kinda sappy and you can tease him all you like and tell him it's cringey but he’ll just chuckle it off cause he knows you love it → i mean if you didn't hr would have noticed or you would have said something. COMMUNICATION IS IMPORTANT PEOPLE! Like in everything and all relationships but like Kita, Aran values communication highly as well and he is capable of it.

✗ oml he loves holding hands with you especially during winter, idk i headcanon that he has warm hands?? So if you have cold hands (like me 😎chilblains gang wya 😎) then hand holding is ✨perfect✨ because he keeps you warm <33 

✗ oh also he definitely gives the best hugs on the Inarizaki team! Osamu is a close second but Aran reigns supreme. I don't take criticism. 

✗ is he jealous or is he not jealous. Idk he’s a hard person to pinpoint with this. I think it would depend on the weather, nah jk jk but it  would depend on many factors like how he’s feeling, who the person is, etc etc. Tsum-Tsum is a bitch (my bitch <3) and WILL actively try to make him jealous. He's just built like that. Oh and Osamu too, yeah he looks like a good boy (and he is <3) but we all know he has a cheeky streak in him ← why else would they be twins? So sometimes he gets involved in Tsum’s antics and boy, boy does Aran hate them. He thinks they’re the bitchiest fuckers ever and will have to restrain himself from slapping those whooligans across the face (and honestly who wouldn't? I could name 76 people who would, starting from myself). BUT aran will never do it because he's very lovely, most he’ll do is send a mean look and shout at them, maybe argue a little. He doesn't like to play into the games so he tries his best to remain casual but if you ever look a tad bit uncomfortable with them then he will not hesitate to jump in and pull you out of the situation. 

✗ dates. Dates. A date with aran. Very cute. Cliche cafe dates, taking you to training or a game, wearing his jacket, walks in the park. Yeah, he’s got that autumn vibe about him y'know? Dates are very sweet and wholesome. 

✗ oh and did i mention that he’s affectionate? Mans loves to hug and cuddle. He's so sweet honestly. 

✗ okokokokokok i have done a bokuto bf headcanons before but that was for a plus sized reader → which can be found here. However this time is just going to be in general :) 

✗ HE IS SO JEALOUS! Loud and proud baby. He is so not secretive when he’s jealous, he pouts to you and whines and then shouts and glares at the perp.

✗ if you give any other member on his team more attention than him or cheer louder for them he will be sad :( when you’re watching matches please cheer the loudest for him! And do it a lot! (between you and me, Akaashi has begged you to cheer for him because it motivates him to do his best)

✗ he is an affectionate and cuddly boy. He is not scared of pda, at all. Will hug and cuddle you in public and maybe even kiss you, no shame. 

✗ if you're not into that then that's all good!! He respects your boundaries (he’s not the best at this but he is learning, give him time <3)

✗ when you’re alone you're tangled up in a mess of limbs. He loves being close to you and holding on to you. 

✗ GIVES THE BEST HUGS!!! 

✗ omg his hugs are so soft? Bokuto’s hugs are like a gigantic blanket of warmth that washes feelings of relief and content over you. He makes you feel safe; he makes it his duty to make you feel safe. 

✗ dates consist of movie binging, amusement parks, and watching volleyball ← his games or practices or watching an opponents or some other team. 

✗ really loves it if you're into volleyball ← take no offense when i say this but bokuto would never date someone who is not into volleyball. It's his sole passion to live and breathe and for someone he loves - his other half, to not share this love of volleyball even just a little bit, it would be heartbreaking for him. Volleyball really is life to him, and while it does not have to be life to you, for you to not care or be interested in something he invests so much time and passion and sweat, blood and tears into he would not feel like the relationship would be worth it. :(

✗ he holds your hand on dates and kinda drags you around a bit. It's cute though. He's such a dork. A big, cuddly, overly emotional dork and you love him <3

✗ how have I not done headcanons for him yet???? Iwa! My baby! My love!

✗ he is so sexy *tiktok fboy face* I would literally sell my kidney for him

✗ anyway anyway, Iwa comes at a price ← and that price is Oikawa.

✗ Oikawa, like Atsumu, is a piece of shit. Homie will try his goddamned hardest to make Iwa jealous, but it's just for funsies and because he loves to shit stir. Oiks doesn't actually mean any harm, it's just playful banter really (that may or may not result in him getting punted). Honestly you and Oikawa will become besties, two peas in a pod. You're both important people to Iwa and he wants you to be able to tolerate each other, even better if you are besties.

✗ oh oh oh! Omg!! Just imagine - you and Iwa pulling pranks on oikawa on April Fools. Imagine his shocked expression. I would die for that. Damn that'd be funny, you'd have to record it and show the whole team.

✗ oh and you know how he’s so strong? He will not hesitate to carry anything for you! It's like a form of affection for him, he loves helping out and doing his best.

✗ Dates are often intruded in on by Oiks which can be annoying, honestly it's just because Oikawa craves affection and attention. Please set him up with a friend. Get him off your back. OH DOUBLE DATES. Imagine if Oikawa actually settled down! (he wouldn't lol) but imagine, double dates at cute, niche cafes. So cute.

✗ Iwa loves quality time with you.

✗ Oh and yeah, Iwa is one jealous boi. He gets jealous which leads to crankiness and a bad temper that he uses to cover up for his insecurities. Please remind him that you love him and hold his hand and kiss his cheek and run a hand through his soft hair.

✗ In terms of affection i think he secretly craves it a lot but is embarrassed by it?? Like he would be very nervous and too shy to initiate too much of it at the beginning.

✗ He really loves giving you back hugging you though!

✗ Now now now, imaging how sexy street racer!iwaizumi as your boyfriend would be. How cool would it be if someone wrote about that - oh wait! I have :D you can find it here ;)

[hercleverboy]

the waiting room

spencer reid x fem!reader

summary ↠ the three times Y/N waited for spencer, and the one time he waited for her. (based off of this blurb)

category ↠ angst

warnings/includes ↠ mentions of death as a result of potential illness, spencer’s headaches, mri scans, swearing,  indefinite ending. 

word count ↠ 2.9k

dedicating this one to two of the literal loves of my life, @voidsfilm + @ellesgreenaway ♡

“What is stronger than the human heart, which shatters over and over and still lives.” — Rupi Kaur

Spencer had always hated hospitals.

He found it so conflicting, how a place could hold so much hope for life and promise for the future, and yet also hold so much heartbreak and despair and agony.

The strong disinfectant smell wasn’t his favourite thing, either. He hated how the bright lights always irritated his eyes, and how the hallways all just looked the same, so bleak and lifeless.

Most of all, he hated the waiting room. 

The navy-blue carpet that lined the floors, wooden chairs that were always, without fail, extremely uncomfortable to sit in. The way that nurses and doctors would walk past the room, eyes full of pity and sorrow. With his job, he’d seen more waiting rooms than he would’ve liked. He spent more time than he wanted to in hospitals, talking to victims’ families, and even sometimes having to witness them receive such heartbreaking news. On one or two occasions, he’d even had to be the bearer of bad news himself, the one who had to tell expectant family that their loved one was gone. It only added to the list of reasons why he despised hospitals.

Then there was the other side of the coin. He took frequent trips to the hospital, but unfortunately more oftenly as a patient than an FBI agent. He wouldn’t say he was reckless, but he didn’t exactly put much value on his life. Or at least, he never used to. He figured it was because he was the only one on the team without a family to come home to, without people who were dependent on him. And so, if it came down to it, he would willing take off his Kevlar vest and put down his weapon while talking down a gun-wielding unsub. Of course, he’d get the third degree from Hotch later, but he could live with that. And then he met Y/N, and he realised that now he had someone counting on him, someone waiting for him to come back home to them, he couldn’t afford to be so careless in the field.

Though sometimes, despite Spencer’s best attempts, things still went wrong. Y/N had seen the inside of the hospital waiting room more than most, often because she’d get called by one of his team mates to alert her that he’d been injured in the field. And without him ever asking, she’d drop everything to be there for him, even if it was his own stupidity that had landed him in those situations. 

The first time was after he’d been shot in the knee. Y/N had been midway through her workday when she’d received a call from JJ telling her that Spencer had been injured. She knew that it was only a leg wound, that he would be absolutely fine, but that didn’t stop her from being worried. She’d been sat in the waiting room, waiting anxiously for a nurse to come by and update her. 

As soon as she got the all clear to see him, she’d breathed out a sigh of relief and made her way to his room,  catching his attention as soon as she entered.

He gave her a tight-lipped smile, grimacing slightly at the pain shooting through his leg. “Hi.” 

She chuckled at that, moving to stand at his bedside. “Hi baby, how are you feeling?” 

“I’m ok.” He smiled, reaching up to tightly grasp one of her hands in his. “You didn’t have to come all the way down here, you know.” 

“Oh, stop.” She mumbled with a smile. “You know how much I worry about you.” 

He grinned at that, the warm feeling that he always got when he was with her spreading through him. He used the grip he had on her hand to pull her down to him, so his lips could meet hers in a sweet kiss. “Hotch has demanded I take some time off to rest, or whatever.” He murmured against her lips. “So, I’m all yours.” 

“Hmm, and what you mean by that is that you need someone to take care of you at home for a few days?” 

“Well, I did get shot in the leg, you know. Taking down the bad guy...” He gestured to his bandaged-up knee, a pout on his pretty pink lips. 

She let out a laugh at that, amused. “Alright, Superman. Let’s get you home, shall we?” 

The next time Y/N found herself in the hospital waiting room was a year later, when Spencer had been suffering from painful, unexplainable headaches. 

Initially, Spencer hadn’t wanted her to attend his MRI scan appointment, but it didn’t take much convincing for her to assure him that she wanted to be there for him. He’d held her hand in a vice-like grip on the drive to the hospital, only letting go when the nurse called his name to tell him they were ready for him. She’d kissed the back of his hand before he’d left, a whispered promise leaving her lips before he went, “I’ll be right here waiting.”

She looked around the empty waiting room, took note of its greying walls and stained carpet, and how awfully uncomfortable the chairs were. She thought of anything and everything that could distract her from the way she was feeling at that moment- knowing how scared her boyfriend was that there was something was wrong with him. 

Spencer came back to the waiting room an hour later, both relieved to see that his girl was indeed still waiting for him but frustrated with what little the doctor had told him. 

“Hey!” Y/N sat up straighter, putting on a smile for the sake of her boyfriend. “How’d it go?” 

Spencer just shook his head. “He says there’s nothing physically wrong with me. He suggested I should consider that it’s something more mental, but he’s wrong- he’s wrong, Y/N.” He sat down in the chair next to her, seeking comfort in her arms as he whimpered into the crook of her neck. “I’m not- I’m not crazy, am I?” 

And the truth was, she didn’t know. She was so afraid for him, worried that he was sick, dying, perhaps of something that the doctors hadn’t detected yet. It terrified her. Her hands ran up and down the expanse of his back, attempting to soothe his weeps the best that she could. Spencer grabbed fistfuls of the back of her shirt and breathed in the scent of her hair as deeply as he could to try and ground himself.

“I’m scared, Y/N.” 

That broke her heart to hear, but all she could do was nod in understanding, hoping her words would offer him some form of comfort. “I know, I know. We’ll figure this out, ok? Everything is going to be alright.” 

The next time Y/N inside of a waiting room was on what she could only refer to as the worst night of her life.

There were no words that could encompass the plethora of emotions she went through when she’d received a phone call from JJ, “Spencer has been shot. It’s- It’s pretty bad, Y/N. You need to come quickly.” 

When she got to the waiting room, she saw JJ and Alex sat opposite one another, a worry that made Y/N’s stomach sink on both their faces. She hurried towards them, tears blurring her vision. “Have you had any updates? Is he ok?” 

JJ looked up, shaking her head sadly. 

“What happened?” Y/N asked, her voice wavering. 

“He got shot in the neck. He pushed me out of the way.” Alex sighed, as though she was still in disbelief that he’d done that to save her. 

Y/N stared ahead in shock, dropping down into the seat beside Alex. Of course, of course, Spencer would risk his life to protect Alex. Y/N knew how fond he was of his colleague, how he idolised her, saw her as a sort of mother figure, even. 

Eventually JJ got called back to work, with Alex insisting that she’d stay with Y/N and wait for Spencer to wake. 

Y/N was so sick and fucking tired of the waiting room. Before, she hadn’t minded it, it had even bought a sense of comfort to her- because she was in a hospital, where they saved lives. But now? The familiar walls and dull navy-blue carpet made her feel nauseous. Not knowing whether her boyfriend was going to live or die was incomparable to any other time she’d found herself waiting in the same four walls. She was feeling everything and nothing all at once, she wanted to cry and scream, curse the universe for once again hurting a man that had done nothing in his life but protect others. Hell, part of her even wanted to laugh- laugh at the absurdity of the situation. If he died, - god, if he died - the world would’ve robbed him of a lifetime with her, the chance to live the life that he deserved.

She barely registered that Alex had left her side to bring her a coffee until she sat back down beside her. Y/N looked over at her, giving her a small smile as she gratefully accepted the coffee. 

Y/N brought the cup to her lips, relishing in how the hot liquid brought her a sense of warmth, and she wondered if she’d ever feel Spencer’s warmth again. She sucked in a shaky breath, speaking the first words she’d said in all the hours they’d been waiting. “You know he wants kids?” 

Alex looked over at her, sad smile tugging at her lips. “I do.” 

Y/N nodded, sniffing. “He’d be a phenomenal father.” 

“He would.” 

Y/N let out a small cry, trying desperately to hold herself together. “What if I never get the chance to give him that, Alex?” She cried, body finally giving in to the painful ache that consumed her entire being. 

Alex placed an arm around her, allowing the younger woman to lean on her shoulder for support. “You’ll get the chance. Spencer is strong, he’ll pull through.”

And sure enough, Alex had been right. When Y/N had been told he was awake, she couldn’t describe the relief that flooded her. After meeting Penelope in the hallway and being given a much-needed hug, she took a few deep breaths before walking into Spencer’s room. When her eyes landed on him, she felt the tears start to well again. She had to remind herself that despite the bandage on his neck and the numerous machines hooked up to him, he was there, and he was alive. 

She came towards him with the best smile she could muster, and he looked up at her with a drowsy smile.

“Hi.” She whispered, standing beside his bed. 

He grinned up at her, reaching out for her hand just like he always did. “Hi.” 

She squeezed his hand gently, reminding herself again that he was ok, though she couldn’t prevent the tears that began to tremble down her cheeks. 

Spencer’s heart throbbed at the sight, and he allowed himself to imagine the pain she must’ve been through, having to wait for hours to see if he was alive. He wouldn’t wish that on anyone, especially not the woman he loved more than anything else. “It’s alright, sweet girl. I’m alright.” He promised, wishing more than anything that he could pull her into his arms and soothe her, though the pain in his neck prevented him from doing so. 

“I could’ve lost you.” She whimpered, her other hand coming out to delicately trace the side of his face. 

“I’m right here.” He gave her hand three squeezes just to emphasise his point. 

She leaned forward, pressing a light kiss to his forehead. “You can’t ever scare me like that again.” 

Spencer chuckled lowly, nodding. “Yes ma’am.” 

“Promise me?” 

And though it was a promise they both knew he couldn’t keep, he granted her the reassurance that she craved. 

“I promise.” 

Y/N knew that wasn’t the last time she’d be sat in the waiting room, scared and anxious and hoping that the love of her life was ok. She knew there would always be a ‘next time’, no matter how many self-serving promises she asked Spencer to make. What she didn’t plan for, was that the next time she saw the inside of a hospital, it would be her fighting for her life. 

It had been a slow day at work for Spencer, with him managing to complete a majority of his withstanding paperwork. He sat at his desk, focused on how he twirled his pen between his fingertips, willing the clock to move faster so he could go back home when his phone rang, Y/N’s name flashing across the screen. 

He answered eagerly, though all eagerness was wiped away when it wasn’t her voice on the other end of the line. 

“Hi there, I’m looking for a Dr Spencer Reid?” 

Spencer’s mind raced, and he swallowed thickly before squeaking out an answer. “That’s me.” 

“I’m calling on behalf of Y/N Y/L/N, you’re registered as her emergency contact.” 

“Is she ok?” He croaked out, begging and pleading internally that all the worst-case scenario’s running through his head wouldn’t come to fruition. 

“She was involved in a severe road collision. You’re going to want to come down here-”

Everything past that was drowned out by the sound of Spencer’s heart beating quicker, so loudly he could hear it. He hung up, gathering his things together as quickly as he could and rushing toward the doors of the bullpen- running directly into one Derek Morgan. 

“Woah, easy there, kid. You got somewhere to be?” He joked at first, but erased all hints of a smile from his face when he saw the tears filling the younger man’s eyes. “What’s going on? Talk to me.” 

Spencer couldn’t form a sentence, only managing to splutter out a few barely strung together words. “It’s Y/N, she’s- she’s been in an a-accident and I need, I have to get to her.” 

Morgan’s eyes widened, nodding in understanding. “Alright, ok. You’re in no condition to be driving, let me take you.” 

Spencer wasn’t about to argue, already making his way toward the elevator. 

*

Spencer had always hated hospitals. 

But he’d also decided that he really fucking hated the waiting room. 

The doctors didn’t have any updates for him, no matter how many times he asked. So, he’d been forced to sit in that damned room and wait. 

He thought of how cruel the concept of the waiting room was. Waiting for either good or bad news, waiting to hear the words that would either fill him with relief or dread, signify the start of his life or the end. How cruel was it that people had to sit and wait, with the weight of the world on their shoulders and just hope their loved one was ok? 

With the first hour brought Spencer’s upset, tears trembling down rosy cheeks and whimpered words of disbelief that he could lose the woman he loved. He’d sat in the uncomfortable blue chair with his head in his hands as sobs wrecked through his body, with Morgan sat next to him, a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

The second hour brought with it a slither of hope, as a doctor came out to update them. Though it wasn’t good nor bad news, just that Y/N was still in surgery and was expected to be so for the next few hours. Spencer had again buried his head in his hands, his thoughts racing. The rest of the team arrived, joining the sombre atmosphere of the waiting room. 

The third hour saw Spencer grow agitated, angry with himself for not being with her, for not protecting her, despite how many times the team attempted to reassure him that there was nothing he could’ve done differently. They brought him cups of coffee with gentle reassurances, empty promises that Y/N would be fine, that she would pull through, but how could they possibly know that? 

In the fourth hour, Spencer sat staring blankly at the wall. He reminded himself of the future he’d dreamt of time and time again, and how he couldn’t imagine himself having that life with anyone else but her. He recalled the location of the velvet purple box he’d bought just a few months prior, hidden amongst pairs of his mismatched socks in the second drawer of his nightstand. What if he never got the chance to propose? To give her the life that he’d promised her time and time again when it was 3am and he was holding the love his life as close to his chest as he could get her. After all he’d done, the years of his life he’d given to helping to protect those who couldn’t protect themselves, this was the thanks he got? What a sick twist of fate that was. 

By the fifth hour, he was exhausted. His eyes drooped but he fought to keep them open, choosing to ignore the pitiful looks JJ shot him when she saw him fighting sleep. He would wait for her, just like all the times she had waited for him. He recognised how the way that he felt must’ve been how Y/N had felt after he’d been shot the year before, and the thought almost made him sick. He ran over all the possible outcomes in his head, allowing his eyes to close for a single moment as he mentally calculated the statistical probabilities of each outcome. He despised how helpless he felt. For a man whose job was to help others in need, he’d never been a position before where he didn’t have the answer, where he couldn’t come up with a solution. His heart ached as the realisation that he could very well lose her settled over him, the statistic he’d calculated of her survival being a number that was way too low for Spencer’s liking. 

For the moment, he had no choice but to wait. 

It was all he could do. 

*

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