#all he knows is listen lie and eat hot chip

[platinummice]

This bitch is still posting mgs ocs dear god

[captain-joongz]

here's first of the bigger requests that came through during the hard hours, my dear ✨ anonie, i hope you enjoy your piece! <3

LOSE TO WIN

warnings: bdsm dynamics, mistress kink, spanking, humiliation and praise, strap on usage, strap on deep-throating, coming untouched, anal fingering, pegging, rough handling, rough sex, orgasm denial, face slapping, riding

word count: 3.9k

Minho wasn't the kind of person you'd expect to get into trouble. He was smart. Sly. Always had a comeback, always knew how to get himself out of hot water. But he was also impulsive, hot-blooded and stubborn. He knew that about himself, maybe better than anyone else.

And he was incredibly competitive. So maybe that's why his plan was such a bad idea.

I mean, of course his friends would try to persuade him to not go to a casino, unless they were shitty no one would encourage their friend to go gamble, but Minho wouldn't listen - of course he wouldn't.

He didn't begin to understand why it was such a bad idea for him specifically to go until he was sitting at the poker table with a terrible hand of cards and no way to lie himself out of it.

People tend to do stupid things when they get their first big paycheck - buy a car they don't need, spend it on clothes or stupid investments. Going to a casino might be the stupidest though, not that the man would admit that, even as his beginner's luck shifted and the tide turned.

Winning a nice sum in the first few rounds, he felt confident - he should stay, play more - he could double it, triple it, he could go home with three paychecks instead of one. He'd show his friends, he'd be the one laughing at them.

But then he started to lose. And it was not pretty.

He wasn't sure how it worked in casinos, but when he was discreetly offered more chips to have a chance to win his money back, he didn't think to stop and ask where they came from or what the consequences were - he just needed a chance to win and then he'd leave. That was all, just one lucky hand and then this nightmare would be over.

When the last game ended, Minho was in a daze - it took him several long seconds to realise that he'd lost once more, and this time he was in deep shit. Not only his own money was gone, but now he owed someone.

He didn't notice you at all, eyeing him the whole evening and having a private laugh about how cutely clueless he was. It was so obviously his first time gambling, your trained eye could see it the second he stepped in the room. Oh, you'd just eat him up.

And now, watching the man sit there all miserable, head in hands as he came to terms with his situation, it was your prime opportunity to strike.

"First time?"

Minho looked up as soon as he heard the melodious voice, coming face to face with you dressed in a black expensive dress, hair and face all made up. At first glance he could tell you were someone important. And very, very rich.

"Um, y-yeah, sorry if I'm blocking the table." He moved as in to get up and leave, but you stopped him quickly and instead offered him a cigarette. Minho threw a nervous glance at the security guys, but they didn't seem bothered by anything you were doing, so he accepted. Of course, what he didn't know was that as the owner's daughter you had free range to do pretty much anything, and they knew better than to interfere when you were hunting.

"I can pay it for you," you offered easily, playing with the packet in your hands while Minho choked his sorrows with nicotine. He startled and you had to suppress a satisfied smirk. This would be so much fun, you couldn't wait to ruin him.

"N-no, that's fine. I'm fine." So he was still deep in denial, huh. You leaned closer and plucked the cigarette out of his hands, taking a drag yourself. You saw his eyes glued to your lips, shock and interest mixing in his brown irises.

"Look, boy, I'm going to be honest with you," you started, spinning your soft web, "you're fucked, spectacularly so might I add. If you try to leave now, you'll end up in some really mean people's hands. I can pay your debt and trust me, I'm much nicer when it comes to paying back." Minho looked like he didn't trust your words one bit, but that's what's nice about desperation - it makes you do things even if you know you shouldn't.

It was all reflected right there in his eyes. You knew you had him, he only had to stop running away from it.

"What would you want in return?" he asked hesitantly and you grinned. What a smart boy, knowing you weren't after money.

"One night, you listen to my every word," you said confidently, "be a good little toy for me."

You saw him shudder before he attempted to school his features into a look of carefully constructed disgust, but you knew. You really hit jackpot with this one, no pun intended.

He sat there in silence for a little while and you let him. He had to come to terms with reality and realise you were offering him the only way out, you would not interfere with that - he had to do that all on his own.

Minho knew he was stupid and got himself into trouble. For the first time in a really long time he couldn't come up with a way to get out of this - he desperately wracked his brain for any solutions while you sat next to him and inspected your nails like a shark waiting for the fish to crawl up all the way in his mouth.

But really, how bad could it really be? He'd just fuck you and he'd be okay, it was definitely the better option than getting beaten up by loansharks. It would be easy, right? He was pretty good in bed, so he had the confidence he could pleasure you and then you'd let him go and everything would be okay. Easy peasy.

He nodded. You grinned. Bad premonition filled his stomach.

Minho cried out when another hit landed on his exposed thighs, your hand then gently caressing the reddening sensitive skin there. There were tears brimming in his eyes, the burn of the impact turning him needy and whiney.

You didn't waste any time after you dragged him off into a hotel room, immediately ordering him to pull his trousers down and bend over the edge of the bed. You yourself dragged a chair over and sat down, face level with his perky underwear clad ass. He needed a punishment, that's what you said, and he was maybe starting to agree.

"Will this teach you not to be such a dumb boy? Maybe I can fuck some common sense into that pretty head of yours, huh?" You teased and taunted, delivering sharp words after each spank until Minho's head was swimming and he couldn't see through tears, biting his lips to stop all the pitiful whimpers from spilling out of his mouth.

But even though he didn't know what to think of this, his body has made up its mind already - he could feel his cock hanging between his legs, so hard it hurt, but ignored and useless. He attempted to sneakily touch himself a few minutes ago, only to get another hard hit and the sharp words "hands where I can see them, boy!", so now he didn't try anymore.

Everything was kind of fuzzy and he couldn't even tell up from down, but fuck, he didn't want to stop, and that scared him. Right now he'd probably let you do about anything to him.

"What do you think, have you learnt your lesson?" Your condescending words broke him out of his haze, but he could only pitifully whine, realising just how much his knees were shaking, close to buckling under his weight. You'd stopped your punishment, but he still felt the phantom sting of your previous smacks.

"Well alright then. Take off the rest of your clothes and sit down on the bed." Embarrassingly enough, Minho wanted to scramble to follow your order, but his limbs just wouldn't cooperate, so he sluggishly turned and fought his shirt off while you sat in your chair silently and watched.

You waited until he was done and sitting down before you came to him, standing in front of him and taking in the state of him. And what a vision he made with his red eyes, tear tracks over his cheeks and lips bitten raw, all crimson and swollen. The once proud and cocky expression he wore during the game now changed into neediness and desperation. And that's what you liked to see.

His lips in particular caught your attention, and you found yourself tracing them with your thumb, mesmerised.

"Fuck, I kinda really want to fuck your throat..." You only mused that out loud, muttering it into the charged air between you, but the absolutely wrecked needy sound that escaped Minho's mouth surprised you both, judging by the blush suddenly spreading down his neck.

"Oh? You like that? Well, who am I to ruin your fun.."

You walked over to one of the huge built in closets, pulling a big box out and gingerly going through its contents. Minho saw glimpses of various sex toys and other kink related objects, and he decided he really didn't want to know why you had that here. Some things were better left unquestioned. And he wasn't even sure whether you'd like being questioned. He desperately didn't want to displease you.

When you found what you were looking for, you pulled it out with an exclamation of victory and finally let Minho see what he apparently asked for - a harness and a strap on dildo - huge, veiny and deep purple. He shuddered, and though he'd like to lie to himself and say it was apprehension, the way his dick jumped upon seeing it spoke a different story.

You had to take your dress off to put it on, and the vision of you in only your black lacy underwear, black heels and the strap on harness did something to Minho's brain. You just simply gestured to the ground by your feet, face curled into a beastly grin.

"Kneel."

And as simple as that, he was on the ground in front of you so fast he might have had carpet burns. You laughed at him, like he was pathetic. He felt pathetic, with his mouth already watering and filling with drool, jaw clenched because otherwise he'd already have it wide open, and he squirmed under your domineering eyes.

You grabbed him by his chin, gently, turning his face up and guiding his lips towards the tip of your dildo. "If you need to stop, tap my leg twice like this." You demonstrated and he nodded, hesitantly letting his lips kiss the cold silicone.

Minho had tried it with boys before, and he wasn't against it, but he'd never sucked a cock in his life, and he had no idea what to do, so he started slow. You didn't seem to mind, eyes keenly watching him as he licked the toy and kissed along it softly, familiarising himself with the veins and ridges. Your hand stayed on his face, holding him in place and gently guiding him.

But of course your patience would run out at some point, and soon your hand pulled him onto the dick, sliding it between his lips and teasingly always thrusting a little deeper, until it was kissing his throat and making him gag. This repeated a few times - you'd slide in, he'd gag and you'd pull out to give him a little break, until you took matters into your own hands - quite literally.

Grabbing his head, you took control of his movements, guiding him in a smooth motion.

"Don't panic, relax your throat," your words rang out and Minho fought to follow your instructions, eyes full of overwhelmed tears, "breathe through your nose. Deep breaths. There you go."

You felt his his throat relax, sliding in a little further - and Minho choked. But this time it was a good sound, all nicely wrapped up in a tiny moan, and you groaned in answer, thrusting a little harder the next time.

His face screwed into one of pleasure and you saw his thighs clench, mouth suddenly hungrily chasing after you every time you pulled out. You pumped your hips rhythmically, growing breathless as you watched him moan and choke on it, with every thrust taking a little more until his face was pressed into the leather of harness, gurgly moans slipping out.

It was enough to drive a saint mad.

And Minho loved it - you could see it in the way his red cock jumped and twitched, throbbing in his lap like it was about to burst without a single touch. You felt your own pussy, so wet and empty, squeezing and clenching around nothing while you guided Minho's pretty face to choke on your cock.

"Fuck, wish I could feel your throat, bet it's so fucking good," you groaned out breathlessly, picking up pace and roughly slamming in, Minho's eyes rolling back into his skull as he took it, fingers helplessly digging into the meat of your thighs.

You should have seen the warning signs, but truly you didn't think he'd be capable of something like that - when his moans doubled in frequence, growing higher, more desperate, more whimpery, his hips jumping abortedly as his cock throbbed and twitched with rising intensity, you thought nothing of it, enjoying the view of his face covered in tears and drool, cock slipping in and out of his mouth.

You thought nothing of it until suddenly Minho was cumming with a high-pitched raspy moan, cock spurting out thick streaks of jizz all over his stomach and thighs. You pulled out in shock, eyes appreciatively flying over the scene, over his fucked out ruined face and body covered in white as he panted with laboured breaths.

"Mistress..." he rasped out, voice all gone and scratchy, and your pussy throbbed so hard you were worried you might cum too. Instead you steeled yourself and smirked again.

"What a naughty boy you are, did I say you could do that?" Minho didn't seem to have much brain power to come up with an answer and he only whined, tired body winding down. "Get on the bed."

He still faithfully obeyed your commands, dragging himself to the king sized bed and dropping down like he was dead. Crawling in behind him, you signalled for him to turn over on his stomach and he did.

His ass and thighs were still a little red from earlier, and when you touched the skin, he jolted a little, whimpers falling into a pillow.

"Well, Mistress has to punish you now, again" you tsked at him, hand reaching for a bottle of lube and condoms standing on the nightstand. Pulling one over your fingers and warming some of the smooth liquid, you carefully reached down between his cheeks, running softly over the puckered rim and pushing on it. You would have been worried about his reaction, had it not been for the immediate groan tumbling out of his lips as his hips jerked into your fingers, back arching and begging for more.

"What a naughty boy you are indeed," you whispered, giggling in amazement. You truly found a gem tonight.

His hole had a little resistance to it, but with careful smooth movements you quickly slipped in, stretching him out on two fingers. You chose a slow sensual pace, winding him up again, pouring some fire back into his veins. You heard his breathy little sighs, hips moving in a rhythm with your fingers, rolling in little circles and slowly working them in deeper and deeper.

Once they slipped all in and you started up a faster pace, the sighs turned into pleased little moans, those that spoke of a complete satisfaction of having been filled up and fucked open, and you salivated at the prospect of fucking him soon. And when you managed to curl your fingers just right, hitting his prostate and punching out a loud moan out of him, your head almost spun with lust.

Minho took three of your fingers like a champ, rocking back onto them and trying to subtly grind his already hard again cock into the sheets - and you let him, even though he probably thought you didn't know. Soon he wouldn't have such a luxury anyway, so what's a few cheeky rubs now.

"Such a slut, I really had no idea who I stumbled upon, huh?" you teased some more, fucking your fingers in roughly and massaging his walls in a way you knew drove him crazy. His hips never stilled for a moment, chasing his pleasure mindlessly as he drooled into the white bedding.

"Don't worry baby, Mistress will fuck you good," you murmured, pulling out and ignoring his needy panicked whines at losing the stimulation.

Without losing a second you immediately reached over to get another condom, getting your cock all nice and wet and ready. Giving his ass cheek one last smack, you angled your hips and pushed in mercilessly.

The cock went in easy, his hole all nice stretched and covered in lube, and the reaction from Minho was instantaneous. You felt him tense underneath you, a little pained whimper falling out of his lips just as he pushed back hungrily and pulling you deeper inside.

You understood what he wanted perfectly, and wasted no second giving it to him just right. Pulling back, you thrusted back in forcefully, punching out a pained moan out of the man.

You set a ruthless pace, pounding into him and angling your cock just right to smack right into his prostate on every stroke. Minho cried and screamed underneath you, keeping his hips still and presenting for you like a bitch in heat, hungrily taking all the aching pleasure.

"H-hurts...!" he moaned into the pillow even as his hips shook with how much he strained them to be able to take more.

"Hurts? Does it baby?" you entertained him, smirking behind him.

"So- so goo-" he got choked up on a groan, drool shining on his chin, "it's so good! More!"

"Demanding, aren't you baby?" you mused out loud, slowing down so you could pound into him harder, "but you have to be a good boy and not cum until I tell you to."

You felt how his body immediately tensed under yours with the overflow of pleasure, and he sagged into the bed, only letting out content whimpers as you continued the tempo.

You yourself were growing breathless, the fucking taking a toll on you as well - you were better at controlling yourself, but the way the harness pressed into your clit with every movement, sliding with all the slick you produced, your own arousal was slowly growing to crescendo.

Minho shook under you, his whole body taut and hands helplessly grabbing onto anything he could reach.

"Please! I wanna cum! Please!" his voice was all raspy with desperation, hips jumping back into yours. You tsked at him loudly between quiet moans, one hand going to spank him again.

You knew it wasn't fair, especially not when he jerked underneath you with a debauched groan, desperation growing tenfold in him.

"Please! Mistress!" for a few more thrusts those were the only words that slipped out of him, an endless repeat of cries and pleading.

"Can you be a good boy? Can you listen?" you taunted again, sweat rolling down your body, hands slipping on his skin with the perspiration. You were so close, you needed to cum so bad.

"Yes! Yes!" he chanted, and he really took it well. You fucked forward a few more times, aiming to give more pressure on his prostate - and when Minho flailed under you with tortured groans, but still didn't cum, you decided to take mercy on him.

Movements tinged with your own desperation, you quickly pulled out and tore yourself out of the harness, stepping out of your panties as well in the process.

Minho was desperately whining on the bed, hips still in the air and begging for more, but you grabbed him and manhandled him onto his back, in rush putting a condom on for him before you mounted him and sunk on his cock, a pleased sigh leaving your lips while Minho cried with overstimulation and denied pleasure.

You felt how his entire body trembled, freezing every time you moved your hips, eyes wide and wet with tears.

Your lust catching up to you, you couldn't help yourself and ride him with reckless abandon, just chasing your pleasure and using him like your own fuck toy while he thrashed on the bed, hips chasing after your wet heat and inaudible nonsense spilling out of his red lips.

"Go on baby," you gritted out between breathless sighs and groans, "take what you need." You were so close you could almost taste your orgasm on your tongue.

But instead of cumming immeadiately as you expected him to do, Minho only cried harder underneath you, incomprehensible pleading filling the room.

"Hit- hit me! Please Mistress, hit me!"

To say you were shocked would be an understatement, but you couldn't hide how your cunt clenched on his cock at his demands, and you reached behind to caress the back of his thighs again, only to be stopped once more.

Minho grabbed your hand and without any preamble pulled it to his face, big begging eyes watching you bounce on his cock. The groan that spilled out of your mouth was absolutely beastly and you clenched on his cock so hard you both almost came.

But who were you to deny him?

Caressing his cheek briefly, you pulled back and delivered a sharp slap, watching his face screw up with pleasure, cock throbbing almost violently, so close to bursting.

It only took one more before Minho was arching under you, crying out as his cock twitched and throbbed inside you, spilling into the condom.

Watching his face bleed into ecstasy and feeling his orgasm so viscerally, hearing his blissed out cries, you felt yourself clench and then you were cumming on his cock as well, riding out your orgasm on his cock as the pleasure consumed you from inside.

Your bodies jerked together for a few more moments, lust riddled brains savouring every second of the liquid ecstasy flowing through your veins, before you slid down to the bed to his side, attempting to catch your breath.

The last thing Minho remembered were your soft whispers of praises you pressed into his naked skin with gentle kisses.

You smiled and let him, seeing no reason in waking him up. After all, he didn't have to hear you settle everything with the casino, letting them know that there was no debt to settle cause the money he lost was yours all along. He didn't need to know the truth.

When Minho limped home the next day, covered in bruises, back hurting like crazy but muscles slack in a way that only good sex could facilitate, he couldn't even look into his friends' eyes with shame.

Of course they were worried for him - he looked terrible and they could see the little winces he did with every fast movement. He looked like he'd gotten beaten up after losing all his money.

And Minho would let them believe that, until the end of his life. They didn't need to know the truth.

divider by @cafekitsune

[mykneeshurt]

hi!! happy new year!! 💗

I love ur writing, and I was thinking to drop this request;

so may request some hc’s of cod task force 141 (+ alejandro, könig, graves and rudy) :))

feel free to skip this if youre busy, just wondering, happy new year :)

Sorry this one took me some time, I got too in my head about it. It was so hard to not be bitchy to Graves lmfao, Soap is my favourite enjoy! SFW. Let me know if you want NSFW ones

Price 🥃

He supports Liverpool FC, no I won’t hear any different

His favourite non-alcoholic drink is ‘builders tea’

Glenfiddich 18 is his Whisky of choice

Favourite colour is khaki green

Is the father figure of the group, strong, reliable, approachable (everything my dad wasn’t lmfao, I still love him)

He wears a plain t-shirt pyjamas to bed, sleeps on his side, one arm under his head, absolutely snores

His favourite breed of dog is a Collie, or any working dog he can walk for miles for in the country side

He absolutely loves Bargain Hunt on TV

His favourite smell is fresh gingerbread

He’d make an excellent grandfather tbh

Soap 🧼

Despite being Scottish he supports Blackburn FC, an underdog (I refuse to comment on the Celtic vs Rangers, far too much history there. And I’m Welsh, it ent for me to say haah)

He absolutely loves winding the boys up about being English

His text tone is SCOTLAND FOREVVAAAA *aggressive bagpipes*

Soap 100% sleeps in the buff

His favourite dog would be a Labrador, nice active family friendly dog

He’s a chatterbox but a good listener when he needs to be, will often give some surprisingly good advice

He’s an iPhone wanker

Absolutely a mummy’s boy, would do anything for her - he’d love to pay off her mortgage for her

His favourite smell is the cheesy paws of his dog for real

He’s not a morning person, he loves a lie in when he can

Ghost 💀

Ghost supports Manchester City, he just gives me those vibes ok?

His favourite weather is rain/storms

When he’s home from a mission he’s a bath guy, he showers all the time on base, so when he’s home it’s hot ass bath with an audio book and his bourbon

He has two cats that his neighbour looks after when he’s away, two British blue shorthairs. Called Foxtrot and Whiskey

He also loves rabbits

He loves helping beginners at the gym

His favourite tv show is The Simpsons, something easy and colourful to watch to distract him from what he’s seen

He smells like Dior Suvage (anything musky and heavy)

He’s ambidextrous

He loves a cooked dinner, beef, roast potatoes, all the veg, stuffing and all the Yorkshire puddings

He’s got his tongue pierced, I’ve seen the fan art. You can’t tell me other wise.

Gaz 🇬🇧

He gives me Arsenal vibes, so he supports them

But also supports Chicago Bears in American Football

He’s gentle, reserved so he’d have a rat as a pet, highly intelligent

Fish and chips with curry sauce is his favourite meal, a proper British geeza

He smells fresh, think a bright spring day, fresh linen and cut grass

He loves the sunshine

He’s a keen gardener, grows his own herbs and vegetables

His house is spotless, minimalist, but has a huge book collection

He loves caramel lattes despite the banter from the boys, he has a sweet tooth

Loves meeting the boys down the pub on a Sunday for a carvery

Alejandro 🌹

He’s an excellent cook, his favourite hobby when not on a mission is trying out new recipes for Los Vaqueros

This man sleeps in silk sheets, tell me he doesn’t?

He’s fiercely loyal his country, he loves Mexico and is passionate about it through and through

He’s got a great sense of humour, enjoys making people laugh

He runs marathons for charity in his spare time

His favourite subject in school was history

If you’re sad this man gives the best hugs, he’ll make you a strong ass coffee and give one hell of a pep talk

His favourite smell is fresh cocoa beans, always stealing the nibs to eat

Him and Rudy have film nights with their families when they’re home

He’s 100% a girl dad, teaches her how to shoot with nerf guns in the garden

Rudy ❤️

He has a German Vizsla called Pollito, because her legs look like chicken drumsticks

He 100% has an android phone

He’s an armature photographer in his spare time, he loves nature

He and Alejandro have personalised ringtones for each other

His favourite food is Seafood paella

He owns a small farm, sells the produce to the local area, he loves animals

He once won a poetry competition

His favourite colour is orange

Sorry but he wears lynx Africa (I like it sue me)

He likes to game in his spare time, anything from farm simulator to RPGs

König 👑

He loves drawing, anything creative, he’ll draw/paint the Austrian countryside to de-stress

He grew up on a small farm in the Austrian mountains, he has a very close family

He doesn’t like large crowds, worried people stare at him because of his height, feels claustrophobic sometimes

He bites his nails when his hands aren’t busy or covered by gloves

He’s a cat guy 100%

He’s left handed, 100% a lefty but holds his gun right handed (its a struggle, I’m left handed)

He’d like a family one day, he’s got a lot of love to give

He smells like leather, sandalwood and vanilla

He loves eating raw cookie dough, vanilla and chocolate chip

He holds the record for the hardest punch in his home town

Graves 🇺🇸

His favourite holiday is July 4th, he does a huge fireworks display whenever he’s home

His favourite food is Gumbo

He smells like Paco Rabane Invictus

He’s got 3 Dobermans, whom he loves with all his heart. Ben, Jacob and Molly

He has a white picket fence - obviously

He doesn’t have a good relationship with his father, daddy forced him into the army to gain approval

He sleeps in red plaid pyjamas and has matching slippers

He’s fluent in French, he learnt it to pick up girls

He loves hiking in his spare time, with his 3 dogs

He runs support groups for veterans on a Thursday a local library

[loveletters-rosebouquets]

CW: Mentions of su!c!de, Bodily harm, low self-worth. Mommy/Daddy issues. Generally just very depressing.

♡

Red nose, hot tears.

My eyes are full, do you see my pain?

I haven’t cried this much in a long while,

Lord, why am I so broken?

I am unwanted, small, and needy.

Sitting on the side of my bed, sunk into the shape of my body,

Feeling suicidal, wanting to open my stomach up.

I can't speak my mind, don’t wanna hurt anybody.

I can’t explain my pain, mother please listen to me,

See my hurt, see my heart.

Falling out of my chest,

Everything seems so perfect yet it’s in a million pieces,

Picture picture,

Mother, why am I like this?

I want to shatter that mirror, scream and cry,

Sticking glass shards in my skin,

Holding my hand over the Bible, I am true.

I don’t believe in god, never have.

Stop saying he’ll save me, I don’t need anybody.

Mother, am I what you wanted?

I know I’m not.

I am what you will never have, a painful reminder that there is no white picket fence.

The blood you have shed, was it not a sign?

God telling you to leave it alone, maybe you shouldn’t.

Little girl trying to live in a big, big world, I know you didn’t know better.

That doesn’t make it right.

Too young, you birthed your pain.

Feeling suicidal, I’ll make it go away.

My sweet baby, I worry you don’t want me.

You won’t touch me, please touch me.

I'm lost, I'm worthless.

I’m ripping my hair out, I’m begging, I’m pleading.

You’re the apple of my eye, I’m living in the garden of Eden.

It’s all a lie, it’s all a lie.

There’s nothing holy, daddy please stop drinking.

Feeling suicidal, I wanna go back to hell.

He was my haven, the sweetest devil I ever met.

What’s a fallen Angel to do when Lucifer is done with this fiery game, the passion that died.

Eating pomegranate seeds, begging to be trapped with him once again.

I’m being condemned, forced to listen to the screeches of your Bible,

Trying to force me to confess my sins.

This body is hell, I want to shave it down, chip away the smooth surface,

Put in the work.

Hold Aphrodite’s beauty, you’ll be wanted.

Honey is only so good for so long, why wouldn’t he crave peppers?

Let me crawl inside, grow my wings,

Will I be beautiful?

Mother, father.

My love.

Will I ever be enough?

[bathtub4rats]

Two Thoughts are in my mind right now:

A) Your Scarecrow with Ghoul

B) If Batman Beyond takes place way after TNBA, how would your Crane feel about the other one?

I NEED ANSWERS!

eheheheee I have thinking about this ALL day :D

hmm I think Jonathan likes Ghoul. He's tall, creepy, got a crop top, he's good with technology, and way less annoying then some other villains he knows. The only thing that he doesn't like that he's part of the Jokerz gang. He thinks Ghoul is wasting his time with them, and Jon would love to work with him on a one on one basis without the rest of the gang getting involved, or even worse, nygma meddling and trying to set them up on a date mid scheme (not that he would be opposed he just doesn't want riddler involved)

Second, I think my Crane just has no idea the other existed, he actively avoids learning history anything, all he knows is make toxin, listen to emo/rock bands, scare people, eat hot chip, and lie. If he did know about the previous Scarecrow, he probably would have grown to idolize him and tried to continue his work to fine tune the fear toxin. Maybe even made his costume more of a homage to the original. Wait scratch that, I have a better idea. He definitely would kin the og Scarecrow. like 2012 tumblr kin, not 2023 tiktok kin. He for sure would have believed that he was the original Jonathan Crane reincarnated. If he ever finds out about the other one his belief system will be drastically altered and it will be everyone's problem

[the1975attheirverybest]

All boys do is eat hot chip and lie

hahahaha. there's actually a girl-band called hot chip!

listen, we could maybe forgive him if he just gives us those DLID songs that we know are sitting in his itunes. either that, or, a kiss 😊

[until-the-brahmin-come-home]

Jukebox Limbo

I'm making an attempt of writing a fnv fic heavily inspired by the way Disco Elysium is written. Starring Ennio, an (eventually) Legion-aligned courier, alongside the voices of his SPECIAL, skills, perks, traits, various objects, and a few other pieces of his mind.

A couple of choice snippets from what I have so far:

The face that stares back at you is…unfamiliar. Dull hazel eyes. Black hair. Your forehead is wrapped with bandages – you gently lift a hand up and set two of your fingers against where you know the bullet holes are.

Bullet holes?

BROKEN VESSEL: Yes. You were shot. There was a man in a checkered suit, smoking; raiders all around him. A full moon in the sky. A platinum chip, never to be delivered – not unless you do something about it.

Wordlessly, you hand the mirror back to the doctor.

-----

DOC: “Last one.”

PERCEPTION: Two bears high-fiving.

INTELLIGENCE: Do not say that.

PERCEPTION: Fine.

YOU: “A light in darkness.”

PERCEPTION: Mine was cooler.

-----

(next one's a little gorey. warning for animal death)

YOU: Is this right? Is this who I am?

GUNS: There’s a weathered 10 mm in your pack that you’ve had since childhood; first you had shot down bottles and cans, grown familiar with how the gun rested in your hands. One week later, you had gotten your first kill, a mangy dog that kept trying to eat the chickens.

MEDICINE: It had been a clean shot through the skull, piercing into the brain and killing the creature near instantly. Afterwards, you stole your brother’s pocketknife and cut the animal open. Inside was bone and blood, organs and a truly wretched smell.

SCIENCE: You had dragged the dog’s corpse out to a space on the property only you frequented and had spent the next few weeks carefully observing how it decomposed. Crows picked at its head; maggots started to writhe beneath its skin. You got similar results with a gecko, a chicken, and your sister’s cat.

BROKEN VESSEL: Yes. This is right.

-----

And there it is.

Your grave.

YOU: Step towards it.

PERCEPTION: Yep, it’s a grave alright. Shallow. Two feet deep, approximately.

BROKEN VESSEL: Not deep enough. Your hands had remained uncovered.

INTELLIGENCE: Indeed. Of course, your killers’ laziness likely saved – wait.

PERCEPTION: What’s that sound?

YOU: Listen.

PERCEPTION: …it’s whispering.

THE DESERT, THE DREAM: My walker-of-the-wastes, why have you left? Your blood has already settled into the sand. Return to me.

YOU: What?

THE DESERT, THE DREAM: It would be easy to lie back down again. To die again. To join me again. Let the sand swallow you whole.

YOU: But I don’t want to die.

BROKEN VESSEL: At least, you don’t think you do.

THE DESERT, THE DREAM: What you want is not relevant. You are a grain of sand among many. One voice among many. One lost soul among many. What difference are you hoping to make? You are already dead.

BROKEN VESSEL: You just haven’t realized it yet.

-----

And finally, on a less serious note:

CONFIRMED BACHELOR: oh shit, he’s hot

YOU: Can we not do this right now.

CONFIRMED BACHELOR: are you telling me you don’t wanna go to pound town with this guy?

YOU: Jesus Christ.

[vespertin-y]

CH4 DAILY LIFE 2 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO. that’s what this was saved as in my drafts and i’m not changing it now.

-the monokub domestic abuse subplot has started please pray for me

-”maki. good morning.” “...good morning...” [...this is a bit awkward. kaito’s obliviousness made last night...weird. but the way she talked about it like she didn’t care, that got to me...] “...hey, about last night.” “wh-what?” “you probably assumed i didn’t care...but, that wasn’t it at all.” “it wasn’t?” “you’re not fit to be a detective when you assume things without listening first.” “maki...” GODDAMNIT WE WERE SO CLOSE...all women know is eat hot chip repeatedly dig at their only two friends’ greatest insecurities without remorse and lie 😔

-”ah, why did you run? are you in a hurry?” “...i decided to live life facing forward. that’s why i can’t stop. actually, i can’t even walk! i need to be constantly running forward!” your depression can’t catch you if you run fast enough!!

-shuichi convincing himiko to come exercise with him so she feels better 😭 kaito has started a good coping mechanism mlm and i fully support this.

-”but we gotta do it! if not now, then when!?” “l-like i said before, it’s reckless! there are still two exisals, right!?” “gonta know that, but...watching friends disappear...seeing everyone get weaker...gonta no can take this anymore! that’s why gonta go fight monokuma!” “fight monokuma!?” “shuichi, good timing! talk some sense into him! gonta’s saying a bunch of reckless stuff and he won’t listen to us!” “gonta know it reckless...but it only way to save everyone. waiting around, doing nothing just make more victims...that why gonta gotta risk his life! real gentleman would risk life! gonta gladly give up life to save everyone!” aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. one thing ch4 is really good at is DREAD. you’ve been watching gonta slowly crumble as he “fails” to protect his friends over and over and you see it boiling over here.  you see miu and kokichi both obviously doing bad as well. you know the buff self-sacrificing one goes in ch4. you might not know exactly *what’s* coming, but you know it *is*. i felt so sick my whole first time through this chapter it was almost a relief when the shoe finally dropped. it’s not much easier now.

-”kokichi...what the hell’s gotten into you?” “...” “you were messed up to begin with, but this is a whole ‘nother level of weird...“ poor kaito doesn’t know this is the Mental Breakdown Chapter!! everyone gets a mental breakdown!!! him, gonta, kokichi, miu, shuichi, ME

-kokichi is dead silent for the entire rest of the morning.........

-two important things to note about what happened w/ kokichi behind the scenes: 1) he saw the outside world *in person*. i see a lot of people say there’s no way he believed it was real when he’s already been mistrustful of the flashback lights, but this is different. he saw the sky, the earth, the broken buildings stretching all the way to the horizon - he felt the air leave his lungs. to deny it as just a set seems borderline delusional imo. and 2) monokuma (probably) saved his life. think about it - who else could it have been? we see that even with several people in the room they collapse too fast to close the door without outside help. monokuma can’t directly interfere with a murder, but he can definitely save his favorite student from a boring, offscreen death, right?

-anyway now that we’re done being cripplingly sad: fun dojo event!!! :D

-”i need a lot of energy to use magic. and the best way to get that energy is by having someone with overflowing vitality nearby.” i’m gonna CRY gonta asks how he can help and himiko is just like ‘u have such incredible vibes u can just stand there and it’ll help actually 👍’ so FUCKING TRUE

-cutest cg in the game i will not be taking questions

-[the reason gonta said he wanted to fight monokuma was to save his friends...i think...miu is the same.] is she, shuichi. is she.

-on that ominous note: FTE time! first another of maki’s....except not really, because the LP gave her a gift she hated and she left immediately 💀

-they picked kaito next (maybe because he’s easy to get gifts for, lmao). he tells more cartoonishly fake stories (kaito x pirate king 500k enemies to lovers when) and tells shuichi the reason he wants to be an astronaut is just “because it’s cool”. never change, buddy.

-the announcement was slightly more tolerable this time, if only because monotaro literally fucking forgor about the incest plotline.

-”what are you doing, tsumugi?” “oh, shuichi...nothing, really. that announcement played when i was going back to my room. it would’ve been fine if they just told us the time, but why’d it have to be so melodramatic?” there are two interpretations we could take here: one is that even the fuckign monokubs’ plotline is spiraling out of tsumugi’s control, and the other is that there is a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT incest fetishist from tsumugi at team DR cramming their kinks into the plot. i cannot decide which one is funnier to me.

-”if i couldn’t keep up as an assassin, the orphanage would no longer receive funding...and then, i wouldn’t have a purpose in life anymore.” damn, the parentification hit her HARD. i wish they explored more into this - maybe even have her as a *willing* bounty hunter instead of being practically held hostage by the cult, doing something she hates and knows is wrong because she feels like her only purpose in life is to provide for the kids? (that would’ve given her agency and responsibility over her actions, though, and we know how the writers hate that...). i thought going back to canon would reawaken my hatred for maki, and in some ways it has, but i feel like i’m growing fonder and fonder of the character she *could’ve* been. potential queen.

-that’s the end of day fifteen...but we get a bonus scene to tide us over :)c

-THE SPRITE. THE FUCKING SPRITE. i don’t believe anyone who says they didn’t shit their pants the first time they saw this what is up with those TEETH!!! kokichi’s other freaky sprites are all at least a little cute, in a creepy sort of way, but this one has what i can only refer to as Horse Energy and it terrifies me.

-uhh other important things to note about this scene,,,,kokichi’s teacher’s pet gambit pays off again! sure, monokuma only helps him to make the game more interesting, but do you think he’d believe, like, kaito or shuichi if they came to him with these claims? i don’t think so. he does this because kokichi has proven himself as an ally to the mastermind. (he’s going to throw away all that credit by the next chapter, but we’ll get to that when we get to it).

-that’s all for today! see you next time, where we’ll hopefully bang out the rest of daily life.

[styledeficit]

28 November - 3 December weeknotes

Monday 28 November

Dream of death and dying. Jolt awake and this time it’s 3 minutes until the alarm goes off. Before I can reset it, the phone insists on telling me about its software update and the primary call to action on every screen is to make an emergency call. Perhaps, when I agreed to the T&Cs last night, I said Apple could read my dreams too.

Lie in the dark until anxiety hits me in the chest like a tennis ball. Feel it in my lungs.

The weather forecast has changed. Last night it said it would rain this morning. Now the icon’s a little crescent moon behind a cloud. Sunrise at 7:38am. Time for a walk. Catch it later.

Tuesday 29 November

We go for wraps again at lunch. I do the same thing as last time: really want a £4 chip wrap but, because I’m a sober grown up, order a halloumi wrap instead. The chip wraps are good (and cheap! They include a lot of good salad!) but they also feel like the kind of food you eat when you’re wasted, waiting for the night bus home. 

Wednesday 30 November

It’s proper spooky in the wood. To start, there’s a thick mist, and autumn has exposed the broken, twisted trees shaped by the various storms over the year. It’s the perfect morning for a mysterious murder. Preferably not mine. Good inspiration for that novel I’m not writing.

The spell is broken, brilliantly, by the absolute unbridled joy of a dog I meet who is having the best time, and, oddly, its owner, who I know from elsewhere.

Thursday 1 December

It’s 3am. Get up to get ready, grab phone, realise it’s 3am, reverse. Do the same at 4 and 6am. 

When I get up for real I feel like I could use some time in a recombobulation area.

On the way home from the office I read Tom Whitwell’s list of 52 things I learned in 2022. On WhatsApp I share facts about egg yolks and fondue with friends who keep chickens and love cheese. We all spend a lot of time making cheese-based puns. 

Friday 2 December

Went to the gym. Listened to a podcast instead of music. I think the guilt in the potential of not moving in time with a fast thrash-metal playlist meant I actually moved faster than usual. Had a sauna. Just me in there and a woman in trainers, leggings, gym top and a waterproof, playing candy crush on her phone. It was very hot.

Saturday 3 December

I read this poem this week and I love it: Poem [Lana Turner has collapsed!]

It was linked in the Guardian article, ‘That orange, it made me so happy’: 50 poems to boost your mood.

I found that article because it includes a selection chosen by Rishi Dastidar and he posted the article on Twitter. And I’ve followed Rishi ever since he came to a user research session we held at MOO. Long time ago. Happy days.

[raidenloml]

ok since we reached our like goal by 300% (wow!) i will be dropping my bisexual blond blorbo list (this will include white haired individuals and explanations on why theyre bisexual, list is unranked)

1. Link | The Legend of Zelda

everyone should know why but this one is more about TOTK (and sorta BOTW) since these are the most im familiar with but Twilight Princess Link is also a little gay to me

2. Leon | Resident Evil

my serennedy mutual can vouch for this one, NEXT!

3. Jonesy | Fortnite

i want him so ba-[gunshot]

4. Cloud | Final Fantasy 7 (remake)

hes literally only a blorbo bc hes sad and pathetic blonde guy and idk much else but from what i know yeah bisexual man

5. Nero | Devil May Cry

now hear me out i only know abt dmc4 nero but why does he look like that cmon now that's tboy swag!!! and hes blonde and pathetic that must mean hes bisexual you must understand (clawing at the walls)

6. Revolver Ocelot | Metal Gear

im ngl i only had mgs5 Ocelot as a blorbo but yeah hes too obsessed w big boss to be straight (also hes russian thats SUPER gay)

7. Johnny Joestar | JJBA Steel Ball Run

your honour i erm uhm errrrr points at the italian

8. the italian (Gyro Zepelli) | JJBA Steel Ball Run

yeah hes just like that

9. my dnd tiefling character Bingus

a classic "mf born after 1993 cant cook, all they know is be bisexual, eat hot chip and LIE." situation right here folks

HONOURABLE MENTIONS!

this is for any character that doesnt exactly fit one of the descriptors (1. blonde 2. bisexual 3. man)

1. Raiden | Metal Gear

i dont have anything to defend myself in court at the bisexual blond man trial with this.. this man is not gay at all to me (not in canon either if i remember correctly metal gear mutuals back me up) however he still achieved a high blorbo status so he can stay!

2. Dante | Devil May Cry

cant defend this one but hes hot ok anyway moving on

3. Sonic | Sonic The Hedgehog

listen that hedgehog is blue not a yellow piece of hedgehog hair in sight HOWEVER hear me out on this one.. super sonic SHOULD count (this was too much of a technicality to make it to the official list but lands him a solid spot here)

4. Kaworu | Neon Genesis Evangelion

he has never wanted to touch a woman in his entire life but also major asexual gay vibes hes just like that ok

5. Angel Devil | Chainsaw Man

hes not even blonde or bisexual or even a blorbo i just want to be him fr

6. Power | Chainsaw Man

woman

7. Trish | Devil May Cry

woman, also a lesbian

anyway thats the full list 👍👍 please suggest more characters that i might have missed and also perhaps argue with me about the placements thanksss

bisexual blond man save me

save me

save me bisexual blond man

[kirnet]

kirnet x atton (but not really lol). 2.2k words. Dxun sucks ass

Despite everything that she had done as Revan’s left hand, Kirnet believed in the light side of the Force. It moved through every living creature; every sentient, beast, and plant (and droid, Kirnet had argued at every opportunity with Malak as Revan laughed at their squabbling). Therefore, everything deserved compassion and humility, from the Grand Chancellor of the Republic to the smallest insect. As flawed as she found her old masters, she still clung to their belief that all life was precious, even when they couldn’t bring themselves to live and die by their own teachings.

As hard as had been since taking over the Ebon Hawk, Kirnet tried to follow this philosophy. Of course, sometimes it couldn’t be helped that the occasional mercenary needed an emergency amputation or that a Sith assassin got gently helped over the side of one of Nar Shaddaa’s lofty gangways. But, to Kreia’s frustration, Kirnet tried to be kind. She had done her share of harm in the war. Harm that she could feel seeping from the scarred surface of Dxun into her bones as she circled the Hawk, checking for any damage from their recent run in with Onderon’s fleet.

Harm that she was about to unleash all over again if these kriffing mosquitos wouldn’t leave her alone.

She waved her hand around her ear, trying to gently signal to the offending creature (Yes, creature, she reminded herself. A creature that can feel the Force just as well as the people on my ship) that it should get lost. For the moment, it took the hint and buzzed off. Kirnet sighed, her shoulders relaxing as she wiped the sweat from her brow. Dxun wasn’t just hot, it was humid. Oppressive. It sat on her shoulders and pressed her down into the overgrown earth. She was well aware of what lay buried under the tall grass. Ship fragments. Mandalorian armor. That overeager Jedi with the lopsided smile, just knighted the week before, who always sat at her right in the mess hall and offered her their leftover gruel. They had the funniest laugh, she remembered.

The tall grass tickled her calf, bringing Kirnet back to her senses. She forced her right foot forward, then her left, until she was back on her lazy path around the pockmarked Hawk. Her hand fell to her bare neck, where she could already feel the bumps left by Dxun’s own insect fleet beginning to form.

Sure, it’s not in mint condition, and there's damage from Onderon’s “Welcoming Committee”, but I don’t see why Atton needs to spend all of his time-

Buzz.

The kriffing bug was back. 

Or maybe one of it’s friends. No, Kirnet was sure it was the same one. It was here to spite her. Punish her for everything she had done to this moon. Her fists clenched at her side as she closed her eyes, partly to relax herself, and partly to keep the insect from successfully diving into them.

This was a living being, a fellow creature of the galaxy. A being deserving of a Jedi’s compass-

Was there another fucking one?

There was! The droning was twofold around her head. Pressure built behind Kirnet’s eyes and pushed up on her feet and down on her shoulders. It pushed and squeezed on all sides like a vice as the swarm grew and stabbed at her eardrums. That nasally, buzzing laugh. Kirnet had made a joke at Malak’s expense. The table had laughed along with her. What was that knight’s name again?

Her hands snapped open, leaving her with blissful quiet as the mosquitos hung suspended in the air. Force, she would embrace any ancient Sith teaching to be able to suspend every mosquito on this Force forsaken planet at once. Anything to get that incessant droning to stop. Maybe Bao-Dur would make her another Mass Shadow Generator. 

Wow. Revan had really rubbed off on her.

“Uh, Kirnet? Everything alright?”

She released the insects at the voice, not even noticing their stuttering buzzing as she turned to Atton. He had eschewed his usual jacket for his undershirt, currently drenched in sweat and rolled up past his pale forearms. Kirnet tried to blink the dots from her eyes. Or were they mosquitoes?

“Kirnet?”

“Hmm?”

“I asked if everything was alright?” He was closer now, brow furrowed as he leaned in. Kirnet could feel his gaze ghost up her arms and over her swelling neck.

Mustering a flimsy smile, she shrugged. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Whatever assessment he was making of her had apparently concluded. Atton’s eyes hardened again as he waved his hydrospanner in her face. “Because you raised the temperature by about ten degrees, and it does not need to get any kriffing hotter on this planet.” He looked down at his own shirt, his face contorted in disgust. “Just look at me,” he grumbled.

Kirnet crossed her arms and leaned against the Hawk’s landing foot, her homicidal ideations towards insect-kind long forgotten. “I don’t know about that. I quite like the heat,” she lied, ignoring the fat bead of sweat running down her forehead, and held out her hand. Atton rolled his eyes and released the spanner, Kirnet snatching it up with the Force from his open hand. Space, it felt wonderful to be able to do that again. She studied it for a second before turning her attention back to the ship. “And labor makes you warm, flyboy,” she quipped. “I know you’ve never worked a day in your delicate life-”

“Excuse me?” Kirnet sniggered at Atton’s predictable outburst, a quiet laugh behind his words betraying his amusement. “I’ve spent all day working on this hunk of scrap metal and this is the thanks I get?” He scoffed and leaned on the support next to Kirnet, their arms brushing together. “Delicate! Delicate she calls me!”

With a snort, she dropped her head onto his sweaty shoulder. Atton jumped the tiniest amount, so subtle that even Kirnet almost missed it, before leaning into her. “I do appreciate everything you’re doing, Atton,” she said, smirk dropping to a faint smile. He just nodded, his proximity ruffling Kirnet’s damp hair. She didn’t need to say it. He already knew.

“Though,” she drawled, pointing at the Hawk’s durasteel underbelly with the hydrospanner. Atton looked up with her, his cheek leaving the top of her head. The chill set in again. She hadn’t noticed it had left. “You could work a bit faster. The sooner you finish taking your sweet time the sooner we can get off of this hell planet.”

Cursing, Atton snatched the tool from her hand, throwing out his arms as he made his way to another battle scar in the ship’s hull. Kirnet giggled at the theatrics, the sincerity of the moment before slipping into their usual routine. “I stay behind and slave in the heat while you guys go off and -”

“And get eaten alive by bugs and bigger things.” Kirnet cut him off. Her smile dropped as she stepped closer to him. “Atton, you’re the one insisting on staying back. I’d much rather leave Bao-Dur and T3 here and take you with.” She tried to convince herself it was because Atton was much better with mines than her. (Though Mira was undoubtedly the best and was already going to be in her party. She hurriedly pushed the connotations of that thought aside.) Dxun was littered with them from the Mandalorian occupation, and while her soldiers had cleared as many as they could at the time, there were doubtless thousands more that had been missed. That Jedi had stepped on one, she blankly recalled. Their legs had flown off in two opposite directions. They had advanced on her orders.

Atton swallowed hard. “You think that droid can repair the Hawk better than I can?” Despite his tone, his voice lost it’s playful bite. 

“Yes. And so can Bao-Dur. Much faster, too.” Atton pointedly ignored her, now apparently immersed in sealing the blaster hole. Kirnet sighed and closed the distance between them. Gently, she put her hand on Atton’s, his knuckles white around the hydrospanner. He turned it off but didn’t move his gaze from the hull. “I understand not wanting to go out into the jungle,” she laughed mirthlessly. “And I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to. But, Atton, if something is wrong-”

“No!” he started too forcefully, wincing as Kirnet withdrew her hand. “No,” he said again, finally turning to look at her. “Nothing’s wrong. As boring as it is I’d rather be here than on the receiving end of a landmine.” Kirnet shrugged. No argument there. “It’s really nothing too complicated. It’ll just take a while.” His face split into a smug smile as he leaned forward against the Hawk, his arm now above her head. Kirnet noticed it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Unless you want to be crammed in an access hatch with me for a day or two.” He had the audacity to wink.

Ah. There it was. The flirtatious deflection. Usually, Kirnet would be more than happy to join in the banter, but the growing vignette around her vision and the hammering in her skull put an end to that line of thought. Fine, he didn’t want to talk about it, and Kirnet was not eager for a real argument, not one of their usual playful spats. Maybe he felt the painful chill in his bones like she did despite the sweltering heat. He was getting stronger in the Force, after all. Or was there something else he wasn’t telling her?

Maybe he just didn’t want to be the latest victim of her leadership on Dxun.

Kirnet rubbed her arms, the chill seeping in further. “I don’t want to go out there any more than you do,” she grumbled. “But something tells me that we won’t get to leave until I find-” She paused, her face contorting as she gestured vaguely towards the jungle. “Something.” Perhaps an old base? The final assault on the Mandalorians, the suicide mission she had ordered, had taken place at one of these abandoned strongholds. If she stumbled onto one, would she recognize it? Or would it be just another scar, long since scabbed over by the eager jungle?

“Suit yourself.” Atton shrugged, pushing his mop of hair out of his face and quickly turning back to the blaster hole. “You don’t know what you’re missing.”

“Nothing special, I’m sure,” Kirnet deadpanned, already starting towards the Hawk’s entrance. “I’m leaving T3- no, do not start with that. Be nice and let him help. And take time to do your meditations. We’ll be back before sundown. Hopefully.”

“Anything else?” Atton scoffed.

Kirnet paused. “Yes, actually. Just a word of advice. After you admit to someone that most of the words that come out of your mouth are lies, it’s easier to tell when you’re not telling the truth.” Atton opened his mouth, but Kirnet put out a hand to stop him. “No need to explain. You’ve already come forward with enough. But if you are stalling repairs for some reason, Atton, then I hope you’re filling your free time with something productive.”

Expression hardening into a scowl, he turned back to the damage. “I’ll get right on that, General,” he all but snarled.

Of course, General. What are your orders?

The migraine hit Kirnet with renewed vigor, almost knocking her to the ground. It took all her effort to keep her shoulders square. “Stay safe,” she mumbled at the grass. “Try not to let the bugs eat you alive. Comlink’s open if you need me.” She didn’t wait for a reply before heading up the hangar door.

“Stay safe,” is what he wanted to shout back. “Keep your head on a swivel, and I’ll come running if you need me.” Atton opened his mouth, then closed it, then settled on grinding his teeth as he listened to Kirnet’s retreating footsteps. The patch of flattened grass that she had stood on moments before tried in vain to stretch back up to its original height.  “Nice going, shutta,” he groaned. No one was around to hear him.

A mosquito landed on his arm. He slapped it before getting back to work.

[scandinavianfairytale]

Para Siempre, Part 2

Pairing: Oscar Diaz x Latina Reader (Sofia)

Warnings: Mentions of gang life, mentions of juvie, mentions of prison, Oscar the cook 😁🥰, cursing, degrading comments (sexism), drug possesion, police search, I cried while writing this 🥺 so beware 🥺

A/N: You can find the entire series on this link 🥰 

[April 2010]

Sofia has been avoiding him for months and while that worked in school and even at home, she couldn’t avoid him on her birthday. Especially not when he used Cesar to make her open the front door. His little brother was her weakness and she wanted to punch Oscar for using it against her.

Feliz cumpleaños a ti

Feliz cumpleaños a ti

Feliz cumpleaños querida Sofia

Sofia opened the door, staring at the cuteness that was standing in front of her. She bent down and gave him a big thank you hug, inviting him and the stupid pendejo inside. Oscar was so smug when he passed her and the asshole even dared to give her a kiss on the cheek as he strutted inside, knowing full well she wouldn’t punch him in front of Cesar.

Oscar went straight into the kitchen and started unpacking the grocery bag.

“Our present is a homemade lunch. Oscar will cook and I will help. All you need to do, Sof, is to relax. We’re here to pa-pa-pam-pamper you.” Cesar struggled a bit with the last word but directed a big grin at her as he finished.

“I like the sound of that. So, what will you be making?” Sofia smiled down at the little guy.

“No, no, it’ll be a surprise. Just sit down and enjoy.” Oscar chipped in from the kitchen. She stewed in her anger as she fell into the couch, taking out her phone and started responding to the birthday wishes.

She was still sulking when Oscar called her to the dinning room, but her scowl fell as she saw what was on the table. She always knew that Oscar dreamt of bigger things, specifically being a cook, but given their history, she just assumed that was also a lie.

The three of them sat down and started eating. Cesar was the star of the show, happily babbled on and on about school and Sofia and Oscar just listened, smiling at him. In between the riveting story about the escaped bunny Oscar turned his attention to Sofia, covering her hand with his, breaking her focus as she glanced at the other man in the room.

“I have always pictured us like this. Sitting with Cesar, being a family.” He whispered. She wanted to slap him, but at the same time kiss him. Maybe both. This has been a weird experience, brining forth all the emotion that she has been actively pushing away.

“Can you give me another chance? I’ll do better, I promise.” He stared into her eyes and she nodded briefly as she observed him. It looked like he was being serious. Or maybe that’s what she wanted to believe. Oscar lifted her hand and laid one sweet kiss on the back of it.

“Guys, you’re not listening to me!” Cesar’s pouting yell broke them out of the little bubble they just shared and they returned the attention back to the important person in the room.

[February 2011]

Oscar was her New Year’s Eve kiss, making a resolution he’ll continue being better. That he’ll do right by her, making her realize he is the one for her, like she is the one for him. For almost a year he had kept his promise he made on her birthday. And she continued to believe him until he was charged with possession and went to prison for the first time in his life.

Six months.

She was crying as they dragged him away, cuffed. She was angry because she believed him. She was sad because she loved him and it broke her heart that she trusted him again.

[May 2012]

The first heatwave hit California and Sofia is cursing her parents for they have forgotten to pay for the repairs and now the A/C is not working. So, she’s stuck in a hot house, having to study for finals, while next door the Santos are having a pool party, with loud music and even louder people. Regardless, she’s determined to power through, the importance of these finals is too high to let some gangbangers have any power over the situation. She’s so close to getting the hell out of here. The scholarship to Princeton is practically in her hands and all she has to do is ace the finals, like she has done for three years in a row. She can do it. She knows she can. And then she can leave the gang life behind and be free. The earphones are in her ears, Mozart, Yiruma and Beethoven keeping her company and giving her strength to focus.

An hour in, the chemistry notes are smudging from the sweat that is present on her fingers and that is dripping from her forehead, the party is getting louder, her phone died because she forgot to charge it and she’s just about ready to go yell at someone, anyone that will cross her path of wrath. She gets up, puts her flip-flops on and marches next door. She goes straight for the cable that connects the stereo to the electricity and pulls it out. Everyone fell silent, looking at her.

“Yo, Sofia, not cool.” One of the Santos women says.

“Hey, Spooky, get your bitch on a leash.” A Santos man yells. Oscar gets up and walks to the guy. He steps right in his face and stares him down. Sofia is right next to him, pulling him away.

“For the last time, Oscar, I don’t need you to stand up for me.” She spat and turned to the loud guy.

“You know I wasn’t going to say anything when I saw you, but you kind of forced my hand. Pull your pants up, your entire ass is hanging outside and it's not a pretty sight.” She walked back to Oscar that was smirking.

“Keep it down, I’m trying to study.” She said and walked away. Just as she was about to enter the house, Oscar caught up to her.

“Wait, wait, wait, Sof. Listen, before you go off to whatever college you’re applying for, how about you finally let me take you on a proper date? I’ve been good, just like we talked when I got out. No police altercations at all. So, you kinda have to go. I believe that was your only condition.” Oscar sais, smiling wide.

“No illegal activities?”

“None.” He put a hand over his heart.

“Okay. Tonight at 8?” Oscar nodded with a smile and walked backwards.

“You won’t regret it, raina.” He said and disappeared next door. The music suddenly stopped and the people dispersed. Sofia finally had the time to finish her work for the day before the date. As she sat down and looked at her history notes she smiled and patiently did her work and counted down the minutes to 8.

[8 o’clock]

She’s putting on her favourite perfume and nervously/giddily looks herself in the mirror. Her heart is beating hard in her chest and she smiles, she’s happy. He’s trying. And that’s all she ever wanted. She thinks of how she’ll come home more often to see him. And how he’ll come visit her often, staying at her dorm. And them walking around New Jersey and New York. Visiting Toronto and all the lakes. Living life away from the gang. She stops herself. Now more nervous than before. The gang…will he leave it? What about Cesar?

The knock at her door saves her the despair and happiness fills her body again. He’s standing at the front door, a sunflower in his hand. Funny how he remembers the small things.

“You remembered?” Sofia smiles as she accepts the flower.

“It’s you. I remember everything that concerns you.” Oscar smiles back. He already plans on getting her a bouquet of them for graduation. He plans to be there. He plans to be there in the future, wherever she might be.

[The date]

They didn’t go far. He took her to his house, where he served her dinner he cooked. She loved his cooking and he knew it. He loved cooking too, especially for her. Both of them imagine life in a couple of months – her coming to the dorm and him coming from his job and just standing in the kitchen, cooking and talking. They don’t say these things; both of them know the other is thinking the same things. It’s quiet during the dinner. They eat and they have small conversations about this and that. Just enjoying each other’s presence, no big issues to be resolved as it has been in the past. Their lives are good, as they should be.

He escorts her to the car and opens the doors for her. They drive to the Point and lay on the hood of the Impala, gazing at the stars. She envisions them just like that in a couple of months and then in a couple of years and then much further down the line. He glances at her several times, smiling to himself, finally getting her here with him. It feels right. He bends down and kisses her.

The red and blue lights envelop them as the police car drives next to them. Oscar is calm as the policeman holds him in place as the other one searches the car. A thought creeps up Sofia’s spine and she hopes she’s wrong. She’s hoping and praying to the skies above that she’s wrong. That he’s changed, that he didn’t lie to her again. That he wouldn’t do that to her, especially not tonight. That she didn't fall for his bullshit yet again. Tears well up in her eyes as the policeman’s stills. She knows he found something. Before she can stop herself the tears fall and she looks at Oscar. He’s saying something – she bets he’s apologizing – but she can’t hear him. The policeman is dragging him away and he’s trying not to resist, he knows it’ll get worse if he does. But he needs her to hear him out. It was for her. What he did. It was for her and Cesar. It was supposed to be the last job…one of the last ones at least. He had a plan, he really did. He was to leave the Santos and go to New Jersey, get a job and be with her. It shouldn’t have gone down like this.

The police car drives away, with Oscar in the back seat, cuffed. That much drugs on his person…his second offence. He’s going to prison, this time for much longer than 6 months. And after the third strike, which will happen, she now has no doubt it will, he’s going away for life. Whatever hope she had for him was gone. The tears are dried up. She picks up the keys that fell from Oscar’s hands and drives back. Cesar shouldn’t be alone tonight.

[Three days later]

She forces herself to go to the hearing. Just to hear how long the sentence will be and to figure out what to do about Cesar. The hearing is short. It doesn’t surprise her; this was Oscar’s second offence. He’s a criminal, the leader of a gang no less, so he gets 4 years and something inside Sofia breaks.

Even before she forces herself to visit him in jail, she knows what he’ll ask of her. She will not be mad, because she already thought of it and already decided. When she sees him in the jumpsuit it takes all of her willpower not to scream at him, not to cry for him. He wasn’t supposed to be on the other side of the glass.

“Listen, I’ll be quick, because I know you just want to get out of here. I’m sorry.” Oscar says as he pickes up the other phone. Sofia wasn’t expecting an apology. An excuse, maybe, but not an apology.

“I’ll take care of Cesar. I’ll take him to visit you as much as my time will allow me. I’ll make sure he goes to school, that he does his homework, that he eats good and that he’s not jumped into the gang for as long as you’re here. But this is the last time you’ll see me.” Sofia puts her phone down and walks away. Oscar yells after her, but because of the soundproof glass, she doesn’t hear anything. At least that’s what he tells himself later when he’s lying in the bunkbed.

Thank you for reading! 🙏💙

The GIF doesn’t belong to me, belongs to the talented creator 🙏😊

I am so in love with this character - Oscar was easily the best part of On my block...though I might be biased 🤭😁

[buckybarnesdiaries]

what a nightmare

bucky barnes x reader ⎢ masterlist.

request by @marvel-diaries: Hi wifey❤️ So I came across this image and I’ve been cry laughing for like 5 minutes😂So for 2K I wanted to request something kind of based on this image😂 You’re on your period and Bucky takes care of you for the day! Makes you feel comfortable and goes to the store for you to buy what you need. He ends up calling you on FaceTime because the whole pad/tampon section is just so confusing so he needs your help! At the end of the day you and him are cuddled up on the couch together eating your favorite snacks! Please and thank you❤️

word count: 1k.

warnings/tags: none.

author notes: none of my stories contain reader’s body descriptions to be inclusive.

Join the tag list here.

Once Bucky found you wrapped in your favorite cozy blanket lying on the sofa and with pouty lips, he knew that month your period hit you really hard. You could barely move without feeling cramps all around your lower belly, grunting and curling in a ball with your arms surrounding your abdomen. He left your house without saying a word about where he was going, just placing a soft kiss on your forehead and asking you to not move, to rest. Bucky drove to the closest store, decided to pamper you the whole day or until you felt better. That was the only thing he wanted, to make you smile again and make disappear any pain that you were suffering.

His first stop was the snack sections. Your boyfriend brought you all kinds of junk food —your favorite chocolate bars, chips, candies, peanut butter. Anything he had seen you eating other months, even two bottles of ice cream because one wasn't enough. Bucky bought you one of those stuffed animals with cherry pits inside to put it in the microwave and use it to alleviate the cramps. He took a raccoon. It didn't need an explanation why, it was pretty obvious. He toured the whole supermarket, adding some pizzas to the cart for dinner.

Everything was going okay. Your boyfriend was more than happy to help you and to contribute to your well-being. But that happiness fell into pieces when he reached the pad and tampons sections. “What the hell?” He thought confused like never in his life. If he believed that war was to go to Germany and fight the Nazis was because in his time there weren't too damn many kinds of pad and tampons. They were divided by size, fabrics, brands, smells, colors (...). He didn't know which one you used and he thought about asking somebody working there but each person was a world.

Much to his regret, fucking up the surprise, Bucky took his phone from a pocket and called you via facetime. His heart broke as soon as he saw you on his screen with teary eyes, sniffing in pain.

“Hey, sorry”. He mumbled honeyedly. “Listen, I, uh… came to the store and… what the… hell is all of this? I just wanted to buy you pads or tampons or whatever the hell you use and… honestly, this 's a nightmare”.

You couldn't help but laugh in tears, cleaning them with the back of your hand, just by imagining the situation by the look on his face. He was literally begging for help.

“They're called Tampax Pearl”. You chuckled.

“Yeah, okay… Lemme… Lemme… Just gimme a second”. Bucky was freaking out, touring with his gaze the whole damn hallway.

“They're the color of your eyes”.

“Doll, listen… I ain' playing games, I just wanna go home and never come back”.

Your laughter made you stir because of the lash of pain straight to your ovaries, curling up your legs to your chest.

“Blue and green”.

“My eyes aren't gre— To who the hell are you looking at, uh?”

“You should watch them under the sun, you punk…”

“Your passive-aggressive romanticism overwhel— OH, finally, goddammit”.

You watched the triumphant grimace appearing on his face while adding three packets to the card, trying to glance at what else he had bought with not much success.

“Okay, good… 'M gonna pay, run away and never come back to this place. See you in a minute, doll”.

“Buck”. You called his name when he was about to hang up, not being able to hold back another giggle when you saw his expression turning into pure horror, hoping you didn't ask him for anything else from there. “I love you…”

“I love you too. More than anything. 'M gonna take care of you today, 'kay? Don't you worry, your soldier's comen'”.

You lied down on the sofa after finishing dinner and Bucky cleaned the kitchen, to cuddle, lacing your legs and arms together under your blanket. You felt much better than that morning. You took a warm bath, your pills, a long nap, and filled your stomach with all the things he bought for you —yet having your hot raccoon under your shirt, well pressed to your abdomen. You felt better than in heaven, receiving tender kisses from your boyfriend to any part of your body he had access to, putting more effort and love whenever he could reach your lips from behind.

Bucky was swept off his feet for you, it was something undeniable. You were his anchor, keeping him afloat twenty-four seven. And taking care of you as part of his nature, always feeling that necessity, that urgency for making you feel happy, loved, satisfied in any kind of way. You were his whole life. So, when it came to you, anything was insufficient for him.

Turning around under his firm, warm and fond embrace, you brought your lips to his. It was an ephemeral touch that caused him to close his eyes and sigh completely in love, feeling his heart racing from one second to another under your palm rested on his chest. Your left made his way to the back of his head as soon as Bucky parted your mouth in such a slow-motion to slide his tongue, looking for yours, gently caressing it. Your boyfriend pressed you a little more closely, as if it was possible, letting you almost lie on top of him. There weren't any sexual intentions hidden behind that kiss, just wanting to show him how much you appreciate any effort he did for you.

Both of you ended up breathing through your nostrils, not wanting to pause your session of makeout in the gloomy of your living room. He lived for those long, long kisses, only worrying about tasting your saliva, biting your lips, and playing with your tongue. And, God, Bucky was an expert, causing you soft goosebumps whenever he caressed your back or arms so lovingly that melted your heart completely.

“Thank you”. You whispered as you could, stroking his weak spot beneath his ear with your thumb.

He couldn't help but purr delighted on your mouth, feeling a smile curving up to his lips as he got comfier under your weight after positioning you between his legs, using you as his favorite personal blanket.

“I love you, Buck… So much I can't explain”.

“Try it, darlin'. You have a whole life to bear me”.

“What a nightmare”. You giggled, placing a smooch on top of his nose.

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[vaguely-concerned]

listening to cole and varric's banter and like... you guys. my emotions. the way varric carries people around in his heart, both the real ones and the ones he made up. despite all his many many character flaws and shortcomings, varric has such a capacity for love.

varric loves, and he lies. those are like. the two pillars of his character to me. and no greater testament to that than the entirety of dragon age 2, which is basically just a metanarrative love letter, a testament to how much varric loves hawke, loves the companions, loves kirkwall. what's that quote/story that's been going around tumblr for years, "I loved you to the point of invention" (paraphrased)? that's what all of dragon age 2 is, in the end. you know that thing he tells bianca in his personal quest in DA:I -- "Hah. As if I would tell stories about my own mistakes", when that is exactly what DA2 is (somehow I feel that especially for the stuff with anders in act 3, like how he reacts when anders tries to give him the last thing he has left of his mother in a very classical suicidal move. the bitterness varric has towards anders in DA:I makes perfect sense to me because a) I don't think you could feel that way about someone if you didn't once love them very, very much and probably still do somewhere under all the hurt piled on top and b) I think most of all he hates himself for feeling like he failed him and has to deal with that on top of everything, and varric is Not Good at dealing with difficult emotions head on as we all know)!!!

like the thing mary kirby has done here in personifying some of the deep deep instincts of storytelling, both at its most sympathetic, comforting, charming and illuminating and most difficult to deal with, irresponsible and dangerous... fucking genius, honestly. what a character. I don't think they used him in the best way in DA:I, but I'm so glad he exists.

all varric knows is love, avoid dwarven merchant's guild, make fun of sebastian, eat hot chip and lie (to make the world in any way bearable and also for fun and profit lol)!!!!!!!

[chiwhorei]

brown, leather straps

pairing: l. ackerman x fem!reader

word count: 1.5k

genre: a lil angsty, smut, 18+ minors dni

warnings: oral (f. receiving), spitting, bondage sksksksk

a/n: day six in levi brain rot hell. nothing is real and there is no escape. thank you to @messwriting for letting me scream in your dms at 7am and helping me flesh out some soft levi feels sksksksksk. @pleasantanathema said us two together is a scary little duo and i wholeheartedly agree.

hymn: desire - slowed by hucci, and do it for me by rosenfeld okay listen to it again sksksks

your hand raps lightly against a familiar door, knuckles scraping in contemplation against the wood.

this wouldn’t be the first time tired feet drug you down the hall and in front of the captain’s bedroom, not by a long shot. the night air whirls around you, nipping against any bare skin it could reach. you pull the wool cloak farther around your form for reprieve.

levi pulls the door open with a huff, turning back around without much acknowledgement. you watch as he he sits at the edge of his bed, he looks every bit as exhausted and battered as he did when you saw him return just a few hours ago. his eyes are downcast and heavy, the grey color reflecting every body he must have seen fall. they hang off of his shoulders and press against his spine in piles of limbs. the horrors of war are inescapable, you know that as well as anyone.

you also know there’s no amount of words that could be used as salve for the things he saw today, there’s barely bandages big enough to cover the long diagonal wound across his front.

“it looks worse than it is, don’t worry about me.” levi can feel your worried eyes against his bare chest, they follow the paths upwards to meet his face. you waste no time fussing over his injuries, there’s nothing more to be done for bruises and cuts against the pale skin.

his head hangs in his hands, you walk up to stand in front of him, bouncing on your heels as nerves take place in your heart. levi doesn't look up to you yet, still marose and curled in on his own body. he hears the small thud of fabric against the floor directly in front of him, his eyes flick forward slightly to catch the pile of green framing your ankles. you’ve piqued his curiosity now.

hungry eyes move up your almost naked skin. the only remnants of modesty lay in brown leather around your hips and thighs. the straps twirl like vines around your waist meeting finally to clasp right above your breasts. you’re ensnared in a trap of your own creation, prey captured and presented on a silver platter. levi’s mouth waters at the meal before him, canines aching in his mouth, itching to tear into you.

you’re pulled forward by the buckles on either hip to stand in between a stong pair of knees. there are usually very few words shared between the two of you, opting to spend the secret evenings putting mouths and tongues to better uses. tonight feels different. instead of clashing teeth and snarling, your fingertips trace against the captain’s hairline. two sets of fingers dig into the skin below your ass, but the grip feels more like a centering of soul.

you climb onto his lap, either knee pressing into the sharply made bed below you. levi wanders over your body, rubbing against planes of skin and fat that are well-known to his touch. your body reacts as it always does, arching into his exploration. his fingerprints paint your skin, covering every expanse while your lips attach at his pulse. you kiss lightly against his heartbeat, following along outlined trails to reach his collarbone.

levi is lost in your touch, each kiss chipping away at the horrors of reality beyond the wood of his bedroom door. he falls back into the mattress at your soft push, staring up at the outline of your body as the moon casts a spotlight from the window. your presence drips onto him like syrup, calming a broken man with seemingly little effort. he reaches out for you, catching on the leather across your chest and pulling you down. you meet his eyes again for a moment, you watch the storms that cloud him.

“you have no idea what you do to me.” his words shake down the column of your spine, poking at questions neither of you would voice out loud. you don’t answer him, instead you continue a soft assault against his marred skin. every jagged scar is touched by your lips as if trying to heal them. the silvered skin remains, but warmth blooms against the tissue.

levi returns with new wounds that will turn to scars against his beautiful skin, but he always returns. while scanning across the new additions to his collection, you feel the clumping of tears in your eyes.

“you’re going to ride past that gate for the last time one day, aren’t you?” your whimpers knock against him, he feels your soft sobs dripping onto his chest before you can stop yourself.

levi is stiff under you. the right answer seems non-existent, because you didn’t actually ask him a question.

he could tell you that he would crawl back from whatever hell awaits him, break every finger as he drags himself back up from the earth’s crust to lie in bed next to you— but no words seem strong enough.

he’ll have to show you instead.

you’re flipped over in the next moment, back cradled by one of his arms. his gaze on you is nothing short of primal, a wounded animal presented it’s first meal in days.

he’ll take you like sacrament. he’ll eat you alive.

you watch as levi sits back to regard you, his eyes warm at the sight before him. you’re wrapped like a present in the chestnut straps. he leans down to meet your lips again, his thumb pressing into your chin as he parts.

“open up.” your jaw falls slack at his command, you look up to him in anticipation. Jet hair frames his face from above you, slightly tousled. one hand rests above your head while the other is busy keeping your lips parted with a soft grip. you watch his mouth scrunch and a string of spit fall downwards towards your awaiting mouth. you lull your tongue out, always taking what he has to give you.

“good girl,” are the last words you hear before levi snakes down your body. every inch of leather and metal is followed with wet lips venturing downwards. levi reaches your aching cunt, already sheened with slick. he blows lightly against you to marvel at your reaction. you’re so pliant under your captain, completely submissive to his trek against your body.

the first union of his tongue to the perimeter of your lips is feather-light and disastrous.

you cry out in a cracked plea, the night’s circumstances being emotionally raw in so many ways. your body is hyper-sensitive and throbbing. when two fingers hover over your hole and press in without warning, the moan ripped from your throat at his contact is loud and unintentional.

just as quickly as two fingers press into you and curl against the anterior, spongy pad of your walls, they are ripped from you to find a home shoved into your mouth.

“no talking with your mouth full, it’s not polite.” his teasing spreads across your hot cheeks. his fingers press against your tongue, saliva pooling in their wake and escaping to run in small trails across your cheeks. levi snaps back up to you again, capturing you in his stare while his tongue pokes out from those pouty, downturned lips.

his hands grab onto the straps nestled against your thighs, bringing your pussy to him to lave a flat stripe against the weeping skin. you’re taste is intoxicating, tart and heady. he moves his mouth against you with vigor, purposely collecting pools of slick and spit to coat his face.

you squirm in his hold, the contact overbearing, but the cool leather in his grip keeps you in place against his frantic mouth. with every long lick over your pussy, he reaches the apex to suck against your clit. the pace is set, messy and wet. his mouth works your body like it has done so many times before, in the secret reprieve of a captain's quarters.

his tongue traces against your sensitive bundle of nerves, coiling a live wire in your stomach and pulling against it tightly. he releases your puffy clit with a squelching pop right as you feel the taste of your orgasm at the back of your throat. the feeling retreats and levi looms over you again, he barely gives you a moment to catch your breath before the taste of your own arousal is spat into your mouth. he wipes his slick covered face with the back of his hand, grinning down at you.

neither of you will waste words on the resounding, catotonic pull between your two bodies. there’s no point in whispered confessionals when tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.

tonight, levi will pull every high from your twitching body that he steals from you. he’ll bring you to the edge and pull you back into his orbit. it’s been a long day, full of terrors beyond his control.

it will be an even longer night.

all writing is dymphnasprose’s original content, please do not repost or modify. do no read my content as asmr.©️

[outerbankspreferences]

50 Wordless Ways To Say I Love You - Drew Starkey

#22. Listening to them while they vent

Word Count: 1930

MASTERLIST

SERIES MASTERLIST

 It had been three weeks since you and Drew had officially gone public with your relationship. It was something he was more nervous about then you. Drew had watched firsthand the struggle Rudy and Elaine went through and he didn’t want to expose you to that form of hate. The two of you had talked about before, but Drew was always hesitant insisting you guys wait.

 At first you thought he might be embarrassed of you and your relationship. You weren’t famous, and you didn’t really enjoy all the attention on social media. That’s what made you agree to go on date with Drew in the first place. He wasn’t stuck up and posting his whole life on social media like everyone else.

 You had assured Drew that you would be fine, and you wouldn’t let the hateful comments get to you. In all honesty, you hadn’t really expected to get much hate. You figured that there would be some, everyone loved Drew, but you were hoping that his fans were able to see how happy you guys were together. Both Elaine and Maddie C. had warned you not to be naïve about it, but you were too stubborn to listen.

 You and Drew had both made a post to your social media accounts of pictures you had taken together through quarantine and filming season two. You had also gone ahead and made all your social media public, so if his fans wanted to, they could follow you too. All your friends had congratulated you guys, and Drew’s cast mates did the same thing.

 The day after you guys had gone public you had checked your Instagram in the morning like you always did and noticed that lots of people had commented on the pictures you guys had posted. Not half as many commented on yours as they did Drew’s and when you felt happy when you first started reading the comments. Most of them were wonderful and kind while others were hateful. You brushed off the mean comments and choose to reply to some of his fans that were being kind to you guys.

 Drew had figured that with all the hype of filming for season two coming to an end, your guy’s relationship would be the last thing the fans cared about. He worried about you and didn’t want to see you hurt over what people would say. He had heard the horror stories from Rudy and Chase about how much hate their significant others went through, and he didn’t want to risk that for you.

 Drew had kept a close eye on you for the first couple weeks to make sure you weren’t spending too much time on your phone. He also always checked your social media and the comments, coming to your defense if needed. He knew firsthand how easy it was to fall down a rabbit hole of reading hateful comments about yourself and what it can do to your self esteem. All the cast had kept a close eye on you. You were the only one who never used Instagram, and they all knew how much you hated the attention on yourself so when you guys started to go public Drew had asked them to discretely keep a close on eye you when he couldn’t.

 Maddie B. had brought it up one night when you were over at her place for wine. The two of you had been talking when you checked a notification on your phone assuming it was Drew, but Maddie watched the way your face dropped when you looked at your phone. “Is everything okay?” She asked completely forgetting what she had been talking about.

 You moved around in your seat pulling your knees to your chest. “Uh yeah fine, I guess. Just the hate gets to be too much I guess.” You spoke up suddenly becoming much more interested in your drink. “Have you talked to Drew about any of this?” She questioned farther. “No, I told him I would be fine if we went public. I just don’t want to upset him, y’know?” You responded almost questioning you reasoning. “I think you should say something to him about it, he’ll understand Y/N.” Whether you said anything to Drew or not, Madison would, so you took the easy way out and decided to talk to him about.

 When you got home, Drew was sitting on the couch playing a video game with Austin. The two of them were hollering at the television when you got into the apartment. Nether had noticed you even came until you dropped your bag on the couch next to Austin. “Jesus Christ Y/N. you gave me a heart attack.” Austin chuckled to himself, before moving over so you could sit between them. “Sorry, what are you guys playing?” You asked grabbing at the bag of chips that they had been eating. “Call of Duty (sorry I don’t play video games, it’s the only one I know lol)” Drew spoke up shifting so you could lean into his chest.

 You watched the two of them play for a little while when you decided to take a shower. You and Drew lived in separate apartments, but you had kept some of your things over at his place for when you spent the night. “I’m going to get in the shower.” You spoke kissing Drew in the cheek before getting up. “Do you mind getting me another drink before you go love?” Drew asked giving you his best puppy dog eyes. You smirked at him, “yeah of course, you want one too Aust?” You asked the blonde next to you. “No, I’m good, thanks though.”

 Once you got his drink you headed towards Drew’s room to grab some clothes. You figured a hot shower would make you feel better and then you could finally talk to Drew about what was going on. You turned the water on and waited for the bathroom to heat up before hopping in the shower. Once you got in you realized that you didn’t have any shampoo or conditioner at Drew’s place. You sighed before grabbing his and using that instead. You stood there letting the water roll down your face, your mind wandering to a place you were trying to avoid. All the comments you had read coming back to you and you hadn’t realized you were crying until your eyes started to burn. It was one of those silent sobs not wanting the boys to hear you.

 Once you got out you dried yourself off before changing into your shorts and one of Drew’s t-shirts. You looked in the mirror, wiping your face with a cold cloth trying to cool your skin so it didn’t look like you had just cried your eyes out. You took a deep shaky breath before opening the bathroom door. You looked down the hallway and the apartment was now dark and you assumed everyone had gone to bed, so you head towards Drew’s room. You opened the door to see Drew laying on his bed shirtless. “How was you shower bub?” He asked scrolling through his phone. “Uh- it was good, but I didn’t have any shampoo left so I used yours. I hope that’s okay.” You spoke throwing your clothes in the laundry basket. “If it was such a nice shower, why were you crying?” Drew asked and he didn’t need to see you to know you were caught in a lie. He had walked by the bathroom planning on joining you when he heard your quite sobs. He decided to let you have your moment and question you when you got out. It broke his heart to watch you hide your feelings from him. “I got soap in my eyes.” You lied even though you knew he wouldn’t believe you. “A lot of crying for soap in your eyes. Please Y/N, talk to me. I just want to help.” Drew spoke softly, getting up from the bed coming over to you.

 He wrapped his arms around you from behind, placing his head on your shoulder inhaling the smell of his shampoo in your hair. “You can trust me I just want to help you.” He whispered into your skin. That was all it took for you to lose it all over again, crying for the second time that night. This time it wasn’t silent, it was loud and broke Drew’s heart all over again. Your body went weak into his and he sat you both on the floor while you cried into his neck. Austin had heard the commotion from his room and ran in only to see you being held tightly in Drew’s grip. Austin gave his friend and understanding nod, and slowly closed the door giving you two some space. You clung onto Drew like he was going to slip away any second. “Please love, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong.” He spoke softly not wanting to overwhelm you.

 “I don’t know what I did Drew. I tried so hard to get them to like me. I thought posting pictures of us together and pictures of you would make them happy. I thought they would be happy for us. I thought it wouldn’t bother me, and now it’s all I can do is read everything they’re saying about me. I mean they’ve been saying awful things. And I just don’t know what I did to them.” You got out over choked sobs and long stutters.

 Drew didn’t need to wonder who you were talking about he had seen some of the comments on your social media. He figured if it was something you couldn’t handle that you would come to him but clearly, he was wrong. He was angry with himself for not seeing that you were hurting, and angry at his so called ‘fans’ for treating you the way they had. He sat quietly waiting for you to calm down again. He didn’t know how long he had been sitting there for when your breathing had normalled. When he thought that it was okay to speak, he took your face gently in his hands guiding you to look at him, “oh baby, it’s okay. I wish you would have come to me sooner. I could’ve helped you.” He spoke softly as too not overwhelm you more. “What can I do to help you?” He asked searching your eyes for answer but all he could find were tears.

 “Just hold me please. I just want to be with you.” You whispered, and despite the hot tears running down your face Drew placed a soft kiss to your lips. Drew wrapped his arms around your waist in a tight grip moving you guys to his bed while you clung onto him like koala. Once he got you both settled comfortably, he spoke again, “what they’re saying about you isn’t true Y/N. They don’t know you like I do, like we all do. You’re the kindest person I’ve ever met. Please don’t believe what they’re saying. They’re just jealous of how amazing, talented and beautiful you are my love.” His words almost made you start to cry again, and you could tell how sincere he was being. You snuggled your head further into his chest and inhaled his comforting scent. “I love you, Drew.” You whispered and thought maybe he didn’t hear you, but his grip tightens around you and he kissed the top of your head. “I love you too beautiful.”

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