#all excuses and explainations aside for his behavior

[imagionationstation]

This Scene Won’t Leave My Brain

Everyone has been adrenaline fueled, but their postures drops as he scolds them. Raph is still tense, used to bringing problems and complaints as dad’s second-in-command. Mikey and Leo seem to be processing Splinter’s intervention (Something that probably doesn’t happen often considering how blank and startled they seem at this turn of events), simply watching to see what comes of it.

And what does leaves them with a bitter taste in their mouths.

Raph seems disappointed and slightly confused.

Donnie looks like he’s taking his dad’s frustration to heart.

Leo doesn’t know what to make of this entire conversation.

And then Mikey. Me gosh, Mikey.

The dejection on his face, it’s just- I just- he’s just-

I mean, wow.

This is the kid the fandom deems to be the family therapist. I want to say that this child has never been more disappointed in his father in his life- but that’s the silent, shoulder-slumping defeat of someone who recognizes this- this blatant ignorance when faced with the problem at hand. The outright neglect of his fatherly duties when he should be stepping in, helping them to talk this out instead of simply telling them too. A child who understands that this isn’t abnormal, but somewhere deep down hoped that something might be different.

But, once again, Splinter’s not there to help solve the problem. He just wants to rant about their volume, not truly addressing anything, not sitting them down and talking them through it. He’s merely whining about a show when he should be helping solve the chaos in his household- solving the power dynamic crisis that he instigated.

This- This is the look of a son who expected more from his papi, but is forced to face a familiar reality where that won’t happen.

[nenemura]

WALLFLOWER — (nrk x reader)

summary : in which you seem to be invisible to everyone, but not to him.

featuring : jungwon and sunoo from enhypen

cw : popular!riki x outcast!fem reader, angst, fluff, kissing

wc : 3.5k

nene’s note : this fic is inspired by twice’s wallflower !! pls reblog and tell me what you think of it !

“y/n? oh, you mean mina’s friend!”

“who’s y/n? the one who hangs out with nayoung and her friends?”

“i’m gonna ask the girl from jules’ class for help”

that’s all you ever were to people. someone’s friend, the one you can ask for help when you can’t figure your homework out. you lived in your friends’ shadows all the time, getting outshined every single day of your life. it was like you were invisible to everyone, as if you were a ghost desperately looking for someone who could see you. but that was never the case.

it’s not like your ‘friends’ paid that much attention to you either, they kept you around because you were kind enough to help them study whenever a big exam was coming. you weren’t oblivious to this treatment, in fact, you knew you didn’t deserve it. but the fear of being completely alone couldn’t let you walk away from them. but that loneliness, that emptiness within you never faded away, not even when you were surrounded by people. you spent most of your time with your nose stuck in a book, studying and studying for hours just to get distracted from those feelings inside you.

you wished someone could see you, get to know you, care about you. but you were sure that if you ever disappeared, no one would notice.

someone would notice, though.

that someone was nishimura riki. golden boy of the school, he was so skilled in every sport that multiple teams fought to have him in their group. he was friendly with everyone, boxy smile always showing whenever he met someone he talked with, even just one time, in the hallways. people absolutely adored him, always seeking his attention. he was everything you dreamed to be.

you didn’t know why, but he always greeted you with a smile whenever you crossed paths with him. you two didn’t even talk once, but he never lost the opportunity to flash you a grin whenever his eyes met yours. he was like that with everyone, you thought, probably because he pitied you. you thought it was a facade, he was popular, after all. he had a reputation to maintain. you disliked him for that reason, maybe it was just envy, but you just couldn’t stand seeing him surrounded by people all the time, while you lived in everyone’s shadow.

the bell rang, indicating the end of biology class. you were following mina and jules out of the classroom, when the teacher called out your name, gesturing you to stay. you turned to tell your two friends that you would stay behind and that you would see them later, but they were laughing between them, not even noticing you weren’t behind them anymore. you pressed your lips in a thin line, unfazed by the behavior since it happened so many times before. yet, it hurt every. single. time.

you pushed those thoughts aside, walking to the teacher who was waiting for you with a big smile. you liked her, she was always kind, always making time for her students whenever they were struggling. and that was exactly the reason why she called you.

“hi, y/n. sorry for keeping you behind, but i’d like to ask you a favor. there’s this student who’s failing biology and i was wondering if you could, perhaps, help them? if they fail it, they won’t be able to participate in next month’s tournament. do you think you could do it?” she explained, her voice soft and sweet as always.

you listen to her words carefully, smiling at her while you accepted her request. you weren’t so thrilled about it, since you knew it wasn’t going to be different from all the times you had ‘helped’ other students. they showed up, pretended to be interested just to make up an excuse and make you do all of their homework for them. but the teacher also promised you an extra credit, so you decided to comply anyway.

she told you to be at the school’s library on tuesdays and thursdays, from 4 to 6, and that she would notify the student for you.

so there you were, sitting at a library table, waiting for this mystery student to show up. it was already half past four, so you assumed that they wouldn’t even show up. you started gathering your things to leave, when you heard someone run behind you. you turned around to see who it was, just to find yourself face to face with nishimura riki. people glared at him while telling him to be silent, causing him to smile apologetically and bowing to them.

“i’m so sorry! practice ran late so i rushed here as fast i could, i’m glad you’re still here! you’re y/n, right? you should be the one helping me with biology” he explained, keeping his voice low to avoid getting scolded again by the students nearby.

on the other hand, you couldn’t believe your eyes. the boy you despised the most was in front of you, big smile as he looked down at you. the fact that he looked so pretty pissed you off even more.

“uh, don’t worry about it.” you simply said, uncomfortably shifting on your seat while he took the one right next to you. you took the book from your backpack and carefully placed it on the table, opening it on the page of the first chapter. you looked over at him for an instant, finding him with his own book open at the same page, waiting for you to say something.

“listen, i know you probably wanna be somewhere else, so i’ll spare you the trouble and bring you the homework done by tomor—” you were cut off by him, a confused expression displayed on his face. “what do you mean? i’m not gonna make you do my homework.” his eyebrows were furrowed, as if you were speaking nonsense. “i’d like some help to understand some of the topics, actually.” he said, his tone was soft, yet it seemed like he was bothered by what you said. did someone treat you like that before?

“oh.” that’s all you could say. you were feeling guilty for assuming his intentions, you were just so used to it.

there was an awkward silence for a brief moment, before riki took the matter into his own hands and started asking you questions about some concepts he hadn’t grasped before. you replied to them calmly, taking your time to repeat yourself or reformulate your sentences if he couldn’t understand them. during the whole time, he never once lost his focus, always looking at you attentively and, from time to time, praising your explanation skills, blabbering about how the book made everything look harder than it actually was.

having his eyes constantly on you made you feel a little overwhelmed, not being used to having so much attention on you. you felt… seen. it was awkward at first, but you couldn’t help but like it.

you reminded yourself that he was just being nice because you were helping him, not because he was actually interested in you.

the little tutoring session came to an end, faster than you thought, so you found yourself gathering your belongings to leave. riki did the same thing, casually greeting some of his friends while he walked with you towards the exit.

it was already dark outside, the days becoming shorter and shorter as the colder seasons approached. before you could excuse yourself to catch the bus, riki spoke. “um, you usually take the 6:30pm bus, right?” he asked, scratching his nape while he looked for your eyes, a sheepish smile tugging at his lips. you wondered how he knew which bus you took, but decided to not mull over it too much. you nodded, tilting your head to the side as if you were asking where he was trying to get at with his question. “it’s still early, i can’t leave you here, alone in the dark. do you mind if i wait with you?” saying that you were surprised by those words was an understatement. you could feel warmth creeping up your neck, you never really spent time with boys outside of tutoring, let alone spoke to them for this long. “uh.. sure” you replied, your voice low and timid. you think you will never forget the smile riki gave you that night.

you walked around with him, listening to him complain about how his coach threatened him to not let him play at the tournament if he didn’t pass biology, and how glad he was you were there to help him. he also asked you lots of question, such as your favorite subjects, what you did in your free time, whether you put cereals first and then milk or vice versa. and it wasn’t just to avoid awkward silence, he truly cared about your answers, even going on a long rant about how putting cereals after milk was nonsense and how inconvenient it was.

before you could realize, it was already time for you to catch the bus. he walked you to the stop and waited for you to get safely on the bus, waving his hand while grinning widely at you. he didn’t leave until he saw the bus driving away, which made you feel like he cared about your safety, but you convinced yourself you were overthinking it.

once in your bed, you stared at the ceiling, replaying the afternoon you spent with the boy you disliked so much — in vain, you thought — and how your heart started beating slightly faster when you got a message from him asking if you got home safely. you mentally slapped yourself, you couldn’t start to have feelings for a boy who was pitying you. still, you couldn’t help but smile at the thought of his stupid jokes and silly behavior, the memory of his laugh lulling you to sleep.

the next day, you were sitting alone at the cafeteria since your friends collectively decided to skip school without letting you know. you were used to it anyway, it’s not like you talked to them when you were in their company, you just limited yourself to listening to them brag about whoever they were dating at that moment or about some new gossip that was circulating around, while keeping to yourself.

that’s why you were startled when riki showed up with two of his friends, who you recognised to be sunoo and jungwon. they were also pretty popular, sunoo being a social butterfly and jungwon being part of the student council.

“mind if we sit here?” riki asked with his usual smile, waiting for you to agree before eventually sitting next to you, while the other two guys sat in front of you. you were still kind of taken aback from this situation, but you were snapped out of your thoughts by riki resting his hand on your shoulder.

“this is y/n! y/n, they’re sunoo and jungwon. they’re good guys, so feel free to be yourself around them” he explained, introducing you to his friends. you wanted to focus on the two boys sitting in front of you and politely greet them, but you could only feel riki’s hand on you, making your heart pound against your ribs.

“nice to meet you! — sunoo spoke, his voice lively and sweet — so you’re the famous y/n, huh? riki talks about you a lo—” he suddenly stopped, an ‘ouch’ escaping his lips as he massaged his leg. riki immediately grabbed your attention: “what he was saying is that i told them you were tutoring me and how well you explain things!” you missed the way he shot sunoo a glare before grinning at you.

jungwon, in the meantime, was snickering while eating his lunch, throwing a playful glance at riki with a smirk on his lips.

you weren’t exactly understanding what was happening, given that you were still confused by the sudden company and the fact that riki talked about you to his friends. it was probably because you could help them in the future, wasn’t it?

you had a great time during lunch, sunoo excitedly telling you about the new drama play he would star in next month and jungwon occasionally asking you questions about you. the awkwardness in you faded the more you spent time with the boys, breaking out of your shell and telling them stories of your childhood. riki was looking at you with a fond smile the entire time, head resting on his fist, thinking how nice was watching you finally open up and get along with his friends.

time flew once again, the bell that signaled the end of lunch break ringing in the cafeteria. you had learned to have a lesson in the classroom right next to sunoo’s, so you waved bye to riki and jungwon and made your way to class with the bubbly boy.

you had never felt this good before, it felt like a weight was lifted off your chest, loneliness being replaced by a nice feeling. this is what having someone caring about you meant? you wondered how you endured being alone until then, finally knowing what it felt to be seen.

you spent the whole time, thinking about the boy you were tutoring, catching yourself dumbly smiling at the thought of him. you needed a reality check, because in no way he was going to feel the same about you. so, with a sigh, you drifted your thoughts from riki to the teacher and his lesson.

weeks passed, your study dates with riki allowed you to become closer and closer to the boy. you started opening up more, laughing and making jokes with him, telling him about embarrassing moments from middle school and so on. you started seeing him outside of tutoring sessions as well, inviting you to have lunch with him, sunoo and jungwon more often, asking you to try a new cafe that opened in town with them.

you eventually fell for him, feeling nervous every time he stood too close to you or blushing when you caught him staring at you. you knew it was one sided, trying your hardest to not delude yourself and end up with a broken heart and alone all over again. you cherished his company more than anything in the world, so you couldn’t bear the thought of losing him.

you were walking to your locker when you heard your name being shouted by a voice you recognized in no time. you turned around, finding riki standing in front of you with a paper in his hand, encouraging you to take it. you looked at it and saw a 75/100 on his biology test. your eyes widened as much as your smile, looking up at him. “oh my god, riki! you passed!” you said, genuinely happy for the boy in front of you. he worked hard and definitely deserved the grade, you also felt a little proud of yourself at the same time. “yes! it’s all thanks to you!” he engulfed you in his arms, holding you close to his body for a second longer than he should. your face was completely red once he let go of you, you prayed for him to be too excited to notice how that brief — even though for you seemed like it lasted for hours — contact affected you.

“so..” you started speaking, to recompose yourself. “no more tutoring sessions, huh?” you asked, disappointment could be easily found in your tone.

“hm.. about that.” riki said, looking a little nervous for some reasons you couldn’t quite tell. “are you going to prom, this weekend?” he asked, a hopeful glint in his eyes while he looked down at you.

“no, i don’t think so.” you replied almost instantly. was he going to ask you out for prom? no, impossible.

“would you like t—” he couldn’t finish his sentence, that a girl tapped him on his shoulder, completely ignoring your presence or the fact that he was talking to you.

“hi riki.. i was wondering if you.. if you wanted to go to prom with me.” she asked, her pretty, long lashes batting quickly as she smiled at him, waiting for his answer.

“oh, thank you but i was going to ask someone else to go with me,” riki politely declined, obtaining a scoff in response. he shrugged his shoulders and turned back to where you were standing, only to see that you had disappeared.

you left the moment you heard the girl’s question, tears brimming in your eyes as you felt like a fool, thinking that he could ever have feelings for you. that day, you left school early, running to your house and shutting yourself in your room. you cried every tear you had within yourself.

riki had tried to reach out to you countless times, sending you lots of texts, even calling you endless times. but you ignored every one of them. you shouldn’t have gotten closer to the boy, you shouldn’t have fallen for him and you shouldn’t have hoped that he could, somehow, feel the same towards you.

it was prom night, you were on your couch, watching some old romcom filled with cliches and cringy lines, but that made you tear up everytime nonetheless.

suddenly, you heard a knock on your door. you wondered who could possibly be at that hour of a saturday night.

you opened the door, finding riki in formal attire, hair slicked back and a huge bouquet of purple flowers — which you remembered telling him was your favorite color.

“riki?” you called softly, closing the door behind you and looking at him with a confused expression. your heart skipped a beat when you saw him — he looked absolutely gorgeous, he looked like he’d stepped out a fairy tail.

“y/n..” he spoke, his voice carrying a mix of nerves and determination. “i tried contacting you, but you weren’t replying. i wanted to ask you to prom, but since it’s too late, i thought about bringing prom to you.” a shy smile tugged at his full lips as he pronounced those words.

you stared at him, speechless. he wanted to go to prom with you? and when he couldn’t reach you, he came all the way to your house, just to make it happen? it felt like a dream, too good and too sweet to be true.

noticing your surprise, riki carefully set the bouquet on the ground. then, he took your hand in his, warmth spreading all over your face.

“dance with me,” he whispered, his voice soft and filled with hope.

without waiting for your reply, he led you closer to him, his free hand settling on your waist, while with his other hand, he fumbled awkwardly with his phone, tongue poking out as he tried to play a slow song for you two to dance to.

the sight made you giggle, finding endearing how clumsy he was.

you looped your arms around his neck, gazing up at him as you swayed together. the world seemed to fall away — there was only the two of you, the soft music, and the steady rhythm of your movements.

he held your gaze the entire time, his lovesick smile resting on his pretty lips — the ones you couldn’t help but glance at more times than you cared to admit.

as the song came to an end, the world seemed to slow down around the two of you. he rested his forehead gently against yours, his warm breath fanning across your face as he took both of your hands in his, holding them like they were going to break if he applied to much force.

“y/n..” he began, his voice soft and steady, though you could sense the nervousness beneath it. “i like you. i’ve liked you for so long, i couldn’t resist keeping it to myself anymore.” he whispered, waiting for any reaction on your part.

tears welled up in your eyes and before you could stop yourself, you threw your arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace. riki stiffened for a moment, his hand lingering on your back before holding you closer.

“i like you too, riki. so much, i can’t believe you actually feel the same” a soft laugh escaped his lips, filled with relief and happiness. he brought one of his hands to your cheek, delicately caressing your skin. “can i be your boyfriend, then?” he asked, his lips curling up into a shy smile as he bit down his lower lip to keep it from spreading too much.

you didn’t answer his question with words. instead, you leaned in, catching his lips in a passionate yet slow kiss. his hand on your cheek moved down to your neck, while his other hand rested on your waist.

at that moment, it felt as if you were touching the sky with a finger. you felt loved in a way that warmed every layer of your heart, cared for in a way that melted every lingering doubt. but, most importantly, you felt seen — truly seen — for the first time.

[fbfh]

curiosity is a wonderful thing - ch. 9

wc: 3.2k

genre: slow burn, little angst, childhood best friends to lovers

pairing: slow burn bff!ben x fem daughter of alice!reader, previously audrey x ben, mal x ben???? apparently????

warnings: emotional damage!!! unusual behavior from ben, reader has a lil mini breakdown, reader is a just a tad autistic coded and has kind of a meltdown??? could also be read as emotional distress so interpret how you will

summary: ben gets weird during a tourney game and your gut is telling you something you probably shouldn't ignore.

song recs: twisted - aviva, cradles - sub urban, rabbit heart - florance and the machine, heads will roll - yeah yeah yeahs

a/n: YOOOOOOOOO IT'S GETTIN JUICYYYYYY. also our cat I mentioned in the an of chapter 8 has settled in well. he's so talkitive lol. I LOVE YOU GUYS I HOPE YOU'RE ENJOYING HAPPY PRIIIIIDEEEEEEE~~~~~ BEEEEE WHO YOU AARRRREEEE FOR YOUR PRIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDEEEEEEEE

tags @yesv01@magcon7280 @hopefullhearts @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sunshineangel-reads @dustyinkpages @inejsknifes @tulipmagnoliaisme @ev3ningrain SORRY IF I MISSED ANYONE YELL AT ME IN THE NOTES AND ILL ADD YOU LOL

You take in a big lungful of the crisp, springtime fresh Auradon air as you crawl out of your rabbit hole and back into Overland. Roots and twigs and grass stick to your skirts, but you don’t mind much. You check your pocket watch in a panic, and scurry to the tourney match. You’re merely a pebble’s throw away, so you reach the bleachers quite quickly. Late, granted, but not too late. Not horribly, irreversibly, all-endingly late. You climb up to your usual spot in the bleachers, only a few seats away from the isle kids. Well, Mal and Evie, really, since Jay and Carlos are out on the field. You try to wave at the girls, but they seem much too preoccupied with the game to notice. You understand their fascination, tourney matches are simply addictive. 

You yourself hadn’t been one for sports - aside from the occasional caucus race - that is, until Ben joined the tourney team last year. He must have spent every spare moment leading up to his first match trying to explain the rules to you with no luck, but the moment the referee blew her whistle, you were enamored watching him play. And it’s simply been that way ever since. No matter what it is, you know it will be a fantastical time if Ben’s the one playing. This seems especially true today. 

Ben tears up the field like an absolute animal - no pun intended - and within minutes has scored yet another goal for Auradon. The Fighting Knights are pulling out all the stops, and through even your unwavering faith in Ben’s athleticism, it’s starting to look like a close call. You pull out a teacup from your bag, the china cool under your fingertips. It’s adorned with a white catchfly and chestnut print, but you don’t pay much attention to it. 

Your eyes are locked on Ben as he races down the field, and you pour the spout of your tea pot shaped bag into the cup. Warm, perfectly brewed rooibos and nettle tea trickles from its spout. You shake it absentmindedly a few times, and some lemon slices and lavender sprigs fall in, floating atop the beverage. You take a sip of the warm, perfectly seasoned herbal tea, nearly choking on it as Jay drags Carlos across the field. You watch with bated breath as they move strategically, setting up Ben to score the perfect winning goal. The ball flies straight into the net, and you jump up, cheering and applauding, not even noticing the rooibos and nettle tea stain on your skirt. The crowd roars right along with you, applauding and cheering deafeningly while the announcer congratulates Auradon Prep on their win. Before he can even finish speaking, Ben grabs the mic from him.

You stop dead in your tracks, brow furrowed.

That’s not like him. 

Not at all. 

“Excuse me, excuse me!” Ben pants, still out of breath as he tries to get the crowd’s focus. “Can I have your attention please?”

The stands quiet as he speaks. 

“There’s- uh, there’s something I’d like to say!”

What in the Knave’s good name is he doing? Your mind races, trying to remember if he’d said anything about something like this. Were there any speeches, any announcements, anything like that he was going to make after the game? You can’t remember him mentioning anything like that. Besides, he always runs his speeches by you first to make sure it comes across the way he intends it too. Even something as small as an opening statement or homework presentation, he always gets your feedback first. You watch the way his eyes dart around, the way he hesitates as he tries to figure out what he’s saying. Your stomach drops. He’s improvising this. This whole situation feels surreal. Most peculiar, and most definitely unlike him. 

After another moment of floundering, he finally addresses the crowd. 

“Give me an M!” 

The crowd complies, shouting out the letter and mirroring the shape he’s making with his arms. 

“Give me an A!” 

“A!” 

While the crowd complies yet again, throwing their arms over their heads in an A shape, your eyes fly over to Audrey. You’re afraid you know where this is going, even though it makes positively less sense than the most twisting turning riddles you’ve ever encountered in Wonderland. Your horrified, bewildered expression is the opposite of her hopeful one, and you realize you’re thinking the same thing. Your stomach sinks in a sick, twisting feeling. Your mind races in a dreamlike panic. 

He can’t seriously be asking Audrey to marry him, could he? 

There’s no way. There’s simply no chance that the Ben you’ve known for longer than you’ve been brewing tea would do something so… impulsive. Everything about Ben is calculated. Well thought through. Ben agonizes over each and every decision, he lies awake at night paralyzed by the potential consequences of each action, each choice not being thought all the way through and analyzed from every possible angle. If proposing to Audrey was even a thought in his mind, he would have told you about it. 

There’s simply no other way. There’s no possibility this was even an option in his mind. Just last week when you had quietly implied that maybe he should consider ending their relationship, his silence spoke louder than any words could have. You had seen that. You saw it in his eyes. There’s no way he could be changing his mind that quickly, and not consulting you - or someone about it? You know you would have gotten wind if he even implied he was toying with the notion. Ben does not flip-flop. So what is… this?

“Give me an L!”

Audrey’s face drops. Yours floods with relief. 

He’s not proposing. 

“C’mon, I can’t hear you!” Ben calls out into the mic, hyping up the crowd. They yell Mal’s name again at Ben’s encouragement. You think you see where he’s going with this. It makes sense - Jay and Carlos each got a big starring moment during the tourney game. Now, Ben is giving a shout out to Mal and Evie so they can share in the glory, and won’t feel left out. It’s a brilliant idea, you realize, but you still can’t figure out why he didn’t plan something like this ahead. Did he realize last minute that Mal and Evie might feel excluded? It’s possible. And right now, it’s the most rational explanation you have for this unusual behavior. Before you can feel too relieved, he leans into the mic. You wait for him to instruct the crowd to give him an E, beginning to spell Evie’s name, and-

“I love you, Mal!”

Your stomach drops. You freeze again, brow furrowed more than before. The world around you spins as you stand in the crowd, disoriented. He says it like a deathbed confession, the words tearing from his throat. Through your confused stupor, you can hear the sincerity, the yearning in his voice. 

What?

You don’t even think to look over at Audrey, but you’re sure as anything her expression is exactly the same as yours - completely and totally shell shocked. Probably moreso, you think, she is his girlfriend after all. But is she? Anymore, that is. You can’t imagine she would want to be after a display like that, after Ben publicly- 

Ben…

Ben. 

His gaze flicks over to you for a split second, not even long enough for you to silently ask him what the hell is going on. But it’s just long enough for you to see a flash of something. A look in his eye. Fear. Confusion. Everything you’re feeling for him right now. His attention is ripped forcefully back to Mal. Whatever was there, you can’t see it now. 

“Give me a beat!” Ben demands overzealously to the band. They start playing something for him, something loud and fast. Ben begins singing Mal’s praises. Literally. You’re still frozen, sick with a cold, confused feeling that makes the world around you feel like a strange dream. Unreal. You begin to question if you are dreaming. Through your dazed state - which you only later realize has begun to be accompanied by hot tears blurring your vision - you could swear you saw Mal and Evie share some sort of look, whisper knowingly. They giggle. Mal pulls a zip top bag of cookies out of her jacket pocket and they both start giggling. Laughing. 

A noise catches your scattered attention and you notice Ben has launched himself into the stands, crowd surfing to get all the way over to Mal. He climbs down, grabbing her waist and pulling her close. It’s so intense, so passionate, so unlike him to do something like that in public. You start to gasp, but you can’t. The stands are so loud, each noise feels like a gunshot deafening you. Your lungs feel like they’re being squeezed from the bottom up like paint tubes, gripped by an artist desperate for the last drops of cadmium yellow deep. 

His hand rests firmly on the small of her back.

Just like it does on yours.

Something sickening twists through you, contaminating your heart and sapping away at your strength. Audrey’s voice cuts through, piercing and shrill as she announces to Ben that Chad is her boyfriend now. You see them kiss in your peripheral vision, eyes still locked on the way Ben’s hand sits on Mal’s back. He doesn’t seem to notice Audrey either, or at the very least, he doesn’t acknowledge her. Normally you’d giggle privately at how much that would irritate her, but nothing so frivolous crosses your mind just then.

“I love you, Mal!” Ben exclaims into the microphone. “Did I mention that?”

He leans closer, aching for her, needing her. But she puts her hands on his chest, trying to keep more distance between them. 

“Mal,” he begs, panting as his breath fans across her face, his cheeks flushed. He grips her tighter, leaning closer until he’s practically dipping her. The crowd watches, shocked at the sight of Prince Ben - who is known for his diplomatic reserve and continuous composure - acting so bold in public. “Will you go to coronation with me?”

“Yes!” Mal’s response comes a little too easily. 

You stare off into space in his general direction, choked with disbelief. You feel so frightened and confused and unwelcome. It’s a cold, isolated feeling of strangeness you’ve been running from since you could walk. You knew what people said about Wonderlandians, what they whispered behind your back when they thought you couldn’t hear. It was always Ben who made that feeling go away. He had seen the change in you, too. The more time you spent together since you were littles, the more he included you and sent disapproving princely looks to anyone who dared to tease you or make you feel like you’re not a part of Auradon, the more it started to work. He saw you relax, saw you believe him when he said he was happy to see you. He saw the shame and paranoia from accepting the fact that everyone around you was teasing you behind your back, spreading lies and rumors fade away. 

Ben watched you grow into yourself the moment he showed you that you were safe to do so. Now, after ten years, that horrible feeling is back and Ben is gone. You turn, rushing out of the bleachers, hopping down to solid ground and turning underneath the stands. You’ve barely stopped before the world caves in around you, and the familiar scent of earth and night and the good kind of confusion envelop your senses, like a hug from your mother. 

You fall down the rabbit hole, and you weep. Shamelessly, loudly, uncontrolled. Your tears fly off into the air above you as you fall, no longer afraid of prying eyes. You cry and cry, losing your sense of time and space as you fall deeper and deeper away from the world that never seems to lose amusement in stinging you when you least expect it. You take in a breath, but before you can let it out as another aching sob, you’re plunged underwater. 

Your eyes flare open in the deep waves around you, the black void of a sky above. You kick yourself up to the surface, gasping as you tread the current carrying you downstream. The water splashes around you, getting into your mouth, and it’s salty. A stork sails by on a little wooden raft, adjusting her captain’s hat. “Well, that would do it!” She exclaims in a thick, Wonderlandian accent. “I was wondering what caused these high tides.” 

She maneuvers her raft towards you and hauls you onto it, her gangly legs wobbling awkwardly as she keeps her balance. She pulls a handkerchief out of her pocket and hands it to you, her long feathers tickling your fingertips. 

“Dry your eyes there, dearie, or else we’ll be having to build a new dam!” 

You sputter an apology, which she dismisses goodnaturedly, and begins singing a confusing sea shanty as she navigates the waves, coming and going as you try to calm yourself. After a few minutes, a particularly large wave pushes you two over the river’s edge and sends you spinning into the forest. 

“Well, there you have it.” She says, taking off her cap and dumping out water, sand, a few shells, and a very irritable codfish. She unties the strings of her raft, gathering up the large sticks used to make it into a bundle, and tucking them under her arm.

“Quite useful, you know,” She says softly, before handing you a piece of nicely shaped paper. It reads The Two Blwo’s Shipping Survise. “And if you ever need something lickety split, I do hope you’ll give me a call.”

She tilts her hat and lopes off through the woods into darkness. 

You plop yourself down on the nearest thing - a large, bioluminescent blue mushroom with little purple spots that makes a sound like a big deep drum when you sit down on it. Several smaller mushrooms varying in size scatter near the base of the one you’re seated on. As you pull your foot up to get comfortable, you graze a few of the litter ones, and let out different tones and types of drums too. Normally this would fascinate you. Normally you would be taking pictures, writing about them in your journal, and trying to learn how to play a song on them - if they’re in the right sort of temperament, of course. But today you don’t even notice.

Your mind is still spiraling, sucked down into a whirlpool of the day’s events. You go over and over what happened, hoping to make sense of it, but unable to really process anything. That was so strange, Ben is acting so strange. Why is he acting like that, you wonder. Did he hit his head? Has he somehow been possessed by a very extroverted poltergeist? Why would he do that? It doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t even make nonsense. Even in Wonderland, there are still patterns, there are still rules and motivations for doing things. Even if those rules and patterns don’t make sense to anyone else, they’re still real. Wonderland is illogical and absurd, but it’s not purely random. 

You rock yourself comfortingly on the bouncy mushroom, the soft noise providing an ambiance that helps you start to think again. There’s no feasible pattern or non-pattern or non-pattern pattern to Ben’s behavior. If there were one, you would be able to find it, especially if you know him as well as you do. And you do. You glance down and see some beetles marching in a line, carrying leaf umbrellas to avoid any more falling tears. You wipe them from your cheeks quickly. 

“My apologies.” You say, your voice polite and fragile. The head beetle chirps, clicking his wings and tipping his hat. He ushers the others past your mushroom quickly, putting their leaf umbrellas onto an umbrella leaf bush nearby. 

A few bread-and-butterflies flitter over, carrying a tray of tea and cakes. They place it before you gently, brewing you a cup of blackberry earl grey with extra honey. You thank them, and they nod, flittering off and leaving a trail of buttery breadcrumbs as their wings flap. They land nearby, listening to you mutter to yourself as the line up to form a loaf. The tea and cakes are delicious, full of jam and honey, and they steady your nerves. You take in another breath, less shaky this time, and begin to think. Not panic, really think. 

“There has to be a reason,” you mumble out loud, “There simply has to be. Ben doesn’t just lose his composure like this. He’s not devoid of sensibilities and decision making. He’s worked so hard to hone his reputation as someone trustworthy, someone full of common sense and compassion, and that… being that person for Auradon is everything to him.”

You place down your tea cup firmly, brow furrowing as your confusion melts away to determination. 

“Everything! He would never do something so… impulsive, and foolhardy, and- and… not like him!” 

You stand up quickly, landing on your feet. 

“I must get to the bottom of this.” You pause. “Or top. Either way.”

You gather your things, fix your hair, and wring out the water from your dress. Even if Ben doesn’t care about his reputation anymore, about his future, the very future of Auradon and all who reside within it, you do. Your loyalty to Ben simply cannot be broken by a day like today.  You won’t let him throw away everything he’s worked towards for no reason. For any reason! If he’s just gone mad, that’s one thing to be dealt with. But there’s a good chance he’ll come back to his senses sooner or later, and you refuse to let everything to hell in a handbasket until he does. 

You are going to figure this out. You’re going to do as much damage control as needed until Ben is back to you and Back to himself. And he is going to come back to himself. You’re sure of it.

Filled with tea cakes and determination, you summon a rabbit hole back to Auradon, and jump through. You flip and twist through the darkness, falling past a bookshelf that floats along with you for a moment, offering a few titles that might prove useful. 

When light breaks the surface and you hear the cracking of polished stone floors, you climb through and emerge into the library. You dust the dirt off yourself and off your hands, setting down your books on a table. You begin to look around, rushing through the library and moving with purpose. You pull book after book off the shelves until you can hardly carry them to the checkout desk. Many of them will be fruitless, you’re sure, but anything is better than nothing in times like these.

“Doing some light reading, Ms. Liddell?” The librarian asks, chuckling at the imposing stack of books you’ve placed before her as she scans through them. 

“There’s nothing light about it, I’m afraid.”She looks up, surprised by the unusual heaviness to your voice, the sharp, focused determination. “Thank you, madam.” You say, grabbing all your books and marching off to your dorm. You have a lot of reading to get through.

[d-dixonimagines]

PROMPT: "Thought you'd be taller.."

I feel like I want to do this one again with a different approach, but I don't know. I envisioned it being something light-hearted and fun, so please excuse my attempt at being funny...! @darylsdelts A/N: It's not edited so there's probably typos

There was a weird buzz of energy going around the camp that you couldn't quite place. The way people whispered to one another excitedly like gossiping teenagers. Eventually you got wind that Daryl Dixon was supposed to be arriving. It was overheard on the radio when your group leader was communicating with Aaron, arranging some kind of supply drop. They had been talking for months and were finally closing on a deal to join forces and create connections.

Sure, you had heard Daryl's name before, but it was strange to see people act like it was some celebrity coming through their town, a behavior you thought was long dead when everything fell. He had been the talk for days, apparently. People telling stories about all the things they've heard he's done, even some you were sure couldn't possibly be true, like blowing up a group with a bazooka? It sounded ridiculous.

He had managed to gain a sort of reputation. He was the lone wolf you didn't mess with. People have said that he mostly kept to himself, some describing him as a grumpy old bear, and good luck if you ever got on his bad side.

You've heard he was mean and intimidating and had a permanent glare, but others say he is kind and had a softness to him. That he had a type of charm that was hard to explain. But it was all the same as rumors go; you didn't know what you were supposed to believe.

He had come to the camp a few times, but somehow you've never seen or met him yourself. It was like he was a myth. A story someone made up, and depending on which version you heard, he was either a scary boogeyman or some kind of hero.

None of that mattered, though. You were determined to find out for yourself who this Daryl guy really was, and if he was worth all of the commotion he seemed to cause.

The sun was just about to set when he and Aaron finally arrived. They were greeted with welcoming smiles and were invited to join you all for dinner. You were appreciative of the large cart of food and supplies they brought, but so far you weren't seeing anything too spectacular. He was quiet, mostly. Handing over crates and stuff, no particular look about him. He didn't look scary, there was no scowl-y expression. So many not a grumpy bear?

As the evening went on and everyone was settled, scattered about around the fire, you sat silently - continuing to watch him. When it was mostly just the two of you remaining, you decided that the silent stalking was getting you nowhere, so you took things to the next level; you approached him..

"Would you like some more?" You offered, extending the kettle of food you had in your hand. He looked up at you for a second before shaking his head, "Nah, I'm good.. Thanks." His voice was gruff, but there was a softness to it, it didn't make sense!

"I'll have some more." Your attention was brought to Larson, a guy from your group, who was sitting close by with his plate stretched out, a friendly smile on his face. Without saying a word, you took a step towards him and practically tossed the kettle in his lap, taking a seat next to Daryl, your back towards Larson.

There was a silence again, aside from the confused mumblings from Larson as he dished himself more food. You tried not to make it so obvious that you were eyeing Daryl, trying to glance at the fire every now and then, but you were failing quite miserably.

"Can I help ya with somethin'?" Daryl finally confronted you. When you didn't respond he continued. "You've been starin' me down since I got here and it's startin' to weird me out..."

You straightened up a bit and put your hands up briefly, an attempt to express you didn't mean anything by it. "I'm sorry. I'm just... trying to figure you out." "Whats'ta figure out, exactly?" he remained calm, but you could tell he had a guard up. Which was understandable.

You have a quick shrug as you tried to gather your thoughts. "The way people talk about you, you're at all what I expected." He gave a sight grunt, like where this was going all clicked. "Should I even ask what you were expectin'?" "Thought you'd be taller.." Your response surprised him a bit, causing him to let out a chuckle. Your shoulders relaxed at his reaction. He definitely wasn't a boogeyman type.

"There were a lotta things you could'a said, but I wasn't expectin' that one," he shook his head a bit and set his dish down by his feet. You could understand where he thought you were going, so many mixed reactions to him, but you were feeling more inclined to believe the positive ones, based on your current encounter with him.

"There was a lot of buzz around here when people learned you were visiting. They talk about you like you're some kind of celebrity. Which, I guess in some sense, you kind of are. With all the stuff you've done, you've made quite a name for yourself."

"Pshh.." he scoffed, "I don't buy into all that. People's opinions don't mean shit." "Even if it's good? People look up to you, from what I gather." He shook his head again. "It's all bullshit. They don't know me or the shit I've done." "We've all done things. Larson here?" you pointed your finger over your shoulder, Daryl's eyes following the direction, "the worst thing he's probably done is kill a rabbit, and that's saying something when it comes to him, and while he's probably not the best example, we all still know he's a good person."

Larson looked up from his plate, his gaze going back and forth between you and Daryl. "It was an accident..." Larson defended himself, a silent look of panic etched on his face. "The rabbit, I didn't see it, it was in the -" "You don't have to explain, Larson, it's OK. No one blames you." You cut him off before looking back at Daryl. "...Why would they blame me..?" "It was a whole thing.. but that's not the point. I'm just saying, the stuff you do makes a difference to people. The good stuff, I mean."

Daryl looked confused for a second, trying to figure out Larson's deal, but brought his attention back to you. "I dunno about any of that. I ain't tryin' to be anythin', I'm just doin' what anybody else would." You nodded, planning on keeping things at that, but there was one thing you couldn't get out of your head and needed answers on.

"I just have one question," you opened. He seemed almost reluctant to agree, but he did with a nod. "Is it true you shot a bazooka at some group? Some people say there was a group of like fifty highwaymen and you just blew them all up." He looked at you for a second like you were insane and let out a sigh. "There weren't fifty of 'em, there was only about eight.." "But you blasted them with a bazooka?" "Yeah?" he responded like he didn't understand what the big deal was. "They were a bunch'a assholes, they had it comin'."

"No, I completely get it," you let out a small laugh. "It's just a crazy thing to think about, you know? A bazooka! Where the hell would you even get one of those?" "Military truck," both Daryl and Larson answered at the same time, causing you both to look at him. "Sorry, I keep forgetting you're there." You almost felt bad. "Anyway, I should get going. It was cool to meet you," you turned back to Daryl and stood up, talking some of the empty dishes. Daryl gave a nod as you walked off.

"... The rabbit incident really was an accident," Larson chimed in after a moment of silence; he was leaning towards Daryl like he was trying to keep it between the two of them. "It was in the -" "Let it go, Larson!" Two other people in the group shouted at the same time. Larson slammed his plate on his lap in frustration as he was interrupted once more and he straightened up. Daryl sat there awkwardly in silence for a moment before getting up himself. He walked passed Larson and gave a quick sympathetic pat on his shoulder. "It's alright, buddy. I believe ya.." Daryl let out an amused scoff as he walked away to find Aaron.

[dark-konohagakure2]

Can you please make one where Momoshiki kindaps Sasukes daughter and uses her as his personal human toy? Also while degrading her and considering her inferior to him? Thank you soon much!!

tw: noncon, kidnapping, enslavement, collars, nipple clamps, humiliation, age difference, dehumanization, degradation

All characters depicted are 18+

Momoshiki has quite a grudge against both Naruto and especially Sasuke, feeling disgusted that a lowly human such as him would dare to posses both the Sharingan and the Rinnegan, both doujutsus that originated from the Otsutsuki clan, in fact the entirge Uchiha clan Itself came from the Otsutsuki, so Sasuke as no right to stand against him, but since he insists on doing so, Momoshiki will have to hit him where it hurts.

Momoshiki is a powerful otherworldly being with centuries of experience and knowledge, so snatching up one girl, even if she is the daughter of one of the strongest shinobi and strongest bloodlines, is child's play for the Otsutsuki, and he's able to grab her and force her back to his dimension with him as easily as he breathes.

Once he has her in his clutches, he's going to strip her of everything, both her clothing and dignity. Momoshiki will keep her completely naked at all times aside from a heavy metal collar on her neck and tight nipple clamps attached to a chain for him to tug her whenever he wants her to come over to him, or whenever he just feels like it.

He won't tolerate her activating her Sharingan while in his presence, the mere thought of a lowly worm of a human possessing and flaunting an ocular power that originates from his vastly superior clan greatly angers Momoshiki, and he'll be sure to reprimand her very harshly for such insubordination.

"Worm! Don't you dare flaunt powers that don't belong to lowly humans like you! Unless you want me to take your pathetic little self over my knee again..."

Momoshiki never asks her name nor does he bother to learn it, what he chooses to refer to her as will vary depending on his current mood. If he's feeling benevolent he'll call her 'pet' or even 'dear', but if he's in a nasty mood or just feels like being cruel to her (which is more often than not) he'll simply refer to her as 'worm' or 'vermin'.

Despite claiming and showing to detest her and her entire species, Momoshiki isn't planning on letting her go anytime soon, that is to say he's keeping her forever. It's either because he wants to torment her for eternity, or because he's developed some sort of sick attachment to her, but both possibilities are equally terrifying.

Part of him wonders if he has some sort of fetish for dominating human beings such as her whenever he finds himself using her pussy as his personal seed receptacle, Momoshiki is almost addicted to fucking her, wanting to do it nearly everyday and everywhere he can, although he'd never admit these desires aloud.

He'll even start making excuses for why he's keeping her around, although none of them will be selfless or wholesome. Momoshiki just wants more reasons to prolong her suffering and enslavement to him, not that such a powerful and untouchable being such as himself needs to explain his reasonings to a pathetic ant like her.

"Hmm~ You feel especially tight around me right now, my little kitten. Maybe I'll decide to keep you alive for a few more centuries if you keep up this good behavior..."

Momoshiki never thought he'd ever form any sort of 'relationship' with a human like her, let alone such an unconventional one, but now that he's discovered the pleasures of the flesh, he has no intention of ever letting her escape his clutches.

[arliedraws]

What are your thoughts on Sirius and Lily’s friendship?

While many in the fandom focus more on her friendship with Remus, but aside from one quote from the movie, there's not much evidence to support that.

Lily's friendships are mostly unexplored, primarily for Doylist reasons, making her relationship with Snape a plot twist in the story. However, based on little we know about her character, she could have been an close friend to Sirius, not just the wife of his best friend. Lily was loving, intelligent, confident, and empathetic—qualities that would allow her to relate to people with tough personalities.. (some Snape fans argue that she was a bad friend to him, but it’s important to remember that it was not her, who at 15 already wanted and later willingly chose to join a terrorist organization).

I think Sirius was naturally drawn to people he viewed as equals, which could explain why he could become closer to Lily than to Remus or Peter over time.

And her letter to him was the last treasure Sirius has of Lily and James :(

Ummmmmm. I took an hour of my life and wrote this. It’s like three pages of thought. But hey! I think I figured out how I see Lily . So thanks!

TL;DR: Sirius resented Lily until he didn’t, and then they were very close until she died.

If you want to read my full take, it’s under the cut.

First of all, to answer your question, I’d like to look at Lily overall.

I find Lily challenging as a character. There are so many ways to interpret her. She’s described as funny, smart, kind, brave, and beautiful. She’s also popular. And cheeky. Unlike James, there isn’t an unflattering side of her shown to Harry. This is why I’m not much of a Jily person—I wish I had what Jily people have regarding Lily. It’s so much easier to interpret a character based on their flaws than their strengths, their failings and how they deal with them than their successes.

I say this because we have to make guesses to her flaws. She made excuses for Snape for years when he was clearly being a prejudiced asshole behind her back. Who knows what he was actually saying about her? But he was her best friend, and she was loyal to him. Then, when his prejudice becomes public, that’s when she declares it the final straw.

My interpretation is that Lily wants to fit in. Unlike most people at school, she came in with a best friend. How cool! But it prevented her from getting close with anyone else. Maybe she has other friends, but I doubt they were very close (Snape would probably make sure of that). Lily is incredibly loyal—and if Snape says someone is bad news, I think she’d trust him.

Anyway, Snape rejecting her publicly was the last straw. She knew it was coming, but she loved him and she has to believe that people are flawed and deserve a second chance. And a third and a fourth and so on. Until she’s faced with arrogant toerag James Potter defending her in front of the whole school. Even this guy she can’t stand is appalled at Snape’s behavior.

Snape is embarrassing. He just is. He’s desperate, and he thinks groveling and kissing her feet will make up for being chummy and racist with his Death Eater wannabe buddies.

What does this have to do with Sirius?

Well, all this time, she’s spent years with these four boys who are clearly sneaking around after hours, will defend each other to the death, and won’t for a moment put up with anyone bullying their friends. Even pathetic little Peter is worth defending. Remus Lupin might even be a werewolf. But they don’t care—he belongs to them. Even when they’re alone, Lily sees that they aren’t two-faced, they aren’t pretending to care about each other.

It would have been very easy for Sirius to talk shit behind James’s back to stay in the good graces of his family/Slytherins. But he doesn’t. He doesn’t even talk to his brother.

I think Lily watches this over the years and wishes Snape were like Sirius. She wishes that just one time, Snape would defend her. When she finally tells Snape it’s over, I think she was desperately lonely in the aftermath. She’s popular, yes, but all the girls in her year have been friends for almost six years, and how could there be room for her? Lily is also incredibly proud. I don’t think she’d be asking to be friends with girls who tried to be her friend for ages but gave up every time she cheerfully told them, “Thanks for inviting me to hang out in Hogsmeade this weekend, but Sev and I are going to [fill in activity]!”

Anyway, Lily’s pride also keeps her from admitting to James she likes him. Maybe she doesn’t even have a crush or feelings romantically, but she’s incredibly aware of James. I think she’s jealous of his bond with his friends. Lily has an undercurrent of anxiety that she’ll be rejected—she’s a social chameleon. She can charm professors, she’s wicked smart, she’s pretty, and she’s funny and clever as hell. So here’s this guy, James Potter, who seems to be no one other than himself. He doesn’t have to pretend. An asshole, an arrogant prat, but undeniably honest.

James declares publicly that he likes her. This is…uhh…the opposite of Snape. Obviously. But Lily’s pride and embarrassment of the whole situation bruises her. I’m sure she also didn’t want people to think that she was dating Snape—would people think she was dating James to get back at Snape? Would they think she was desperate to be with a pureblood like James?

Meanwhile, Sirius is watching Lily Evans. Her friendship with Severus Snape has just exploded, and he watches her watching James. Sirius, who demonstrates canonically that he is very good at reading people, can see through Lily’s pleasant façade and unflappable exterior. Maybe she has friends, but he can see that she isn’t close with them. She’s a loner. She’s like him.

Here’s where I think Sirius and Lily match up—they’re both fearful of rejection, they’re extremely proud, and they’re exceptionally careful about how they allow others to see them. I think Sirius is more easily offended than Lily, but she’s also better at hiding when she’s hurt. To regain power, Sirius will punish you while Lily will regain her power by pretending it didn’t matter and your opinion doesn’t matter.

As soon as Lily is sans Snape, she becomes a threat to Sirius. He knows it’s only a matter of time before she gets over her pride and gets close to James, so he’s very wary of her. Soon she’ll figure out that James makes you feel like the cleverest person in the room. She’ll figure out that James will defend you until he’s dead. James loves his people too hard, and Sirius does not want to share him.

Well, once Lily and James become head boy and girl, keeping them apart is impossible. Sirius isn’t outwardly cold to her because James isn’t stupid, and he’d quickly know what Sirius was doing, but he’s not exactly welcoming either.

Lily and James become friends in seventh year. This is the first time James has had a friend outside of their group—and there are things he talks to her about that he doesn’t discuss with the others, not even Sirius. And Lily opens up. She even finds herself slipping out of her constant performance, and for the first time in her life, she can say whatever she wants. James loves when she’s silly. Not funny—everyone loves a funny—but silly. And he’s silly with her. And all of the pretending is gone, and Lily can be exactly herself and honest and not try to mold herself into what James wants her to be.

This is not good news for Sirius who has always been the one that James relies on for emotional support. And Sirius resents Lily a little. For the rest of their time at school, he’s fairly certain she’s just pretending.

Then school ends, and Dumbledore recruits them to the Order of the Phoenix. James and Lily are firmly together, and she just “gets” James. At least, that’s what James says. Very naturally, she knows what James is thinking and she respects him, and Sirius is secretly infuriated that she reads people as well as he does. It becomes clearer and clearer that Lily really does love James.

I think Sirius wants James to be happy—if James isn’t going to choose Sirius, then at least Lily makes him happy. And he forces himself to smile, cheers for them, champions their relationship. Except that Lily sees right through him, and she knows that if she doesn’t get Sirius on her side, one well-placed comment about her might influence James.

But also, she loves James and doesn’t want Sirius to fuck it up. There are a few ways they could become friends, but one way I’ve imagined is that Lily invites Sirius out for a drink. A good actor and loyal friend to James, he engages her in the sort of conversation he knows will interest her—they have shared interests, and she’s intelligent and creative like him. As long as they stay away from talking about James, he’s pleasant. Then, once they’re a few drinks in, Lily tells him that she doesn’t blame him for hating her. This stuns Sirius who thought he was being so clever. He insists she’s making things up, but Lily tells him that she feels the same way about Sirius—that she’s scared he’s going to take James away.

This is the sort of vulnerability Sirius needs to see from her. He needs to know that Lily hasn’t won—that she’s just as afraid of Sirius as he is of her, that she hasn’t tried to steal James from him. She just loves James for exactly the same reasons Sirius loves him. Lily promises that she will never keep Sirius away from James.

As time goes on, there are things that Lily can confess to Sirius that she can’t tell anyone else—and, eventually, Sirius starts to confide in her too. But it’s different than talking to James for both of them; they’re so incredibly similar that they understand each other on a level that James just doesn’t get.

I think you’re right—I think post-Hogwarts, Sirius was closer to Lily than he was to Remus or Peter. The friendship was hard-won, but canon supports a tight Sirius&Lily bond with that letter he kept.

In the end, I really do think he lost both of his best friends when James and Lily were killed—one was his soul mate and the other was his best friend.

[hvnsools]

roommates (Simon Riley one shot)

Simon "Ghost" Riley x female reader

Summary: Simon is jealous that his roommate dates other guys

TW: none

word count: 1966

note: English isn't my first language but i have done my best, sorry for any mistakes.

★ masterlist here

★ spanish ver on wattpad (hvnsools)

It was a stupid fight as always, the last few weeks they had been fighting as if they were a divorced couple that had ended up on the worst possible terms.

And she hated it, she hated fighting with him because it wasn't easy living with a person who seemed to hate you one day and be his favorite person the next, but here she was, in their third fight of the week, feeling her face burn with a mixture of anger and sadness.

"I already told you no!" she yelled desperately.

She had completely forgotten the initial fight, now they were simply arguing about whatever came to their mind, as if they were both bringing out those misunderstandings that they had kept inside for weeks.

But this time something was different, there was something different in the conclusion that Simon had reached in those moments.

"It seems disrespectful to me and my sleeping hours that you arrive at whatever time you want." She rolled her eyes and looked away, but she could feel Simon's eyes on her. "You come late at night and it wakes me up."

"Does that wake you up? You sleep like a bear." she said annoyed.

And (Y/N) could lie about many things, but right now she was right, the only reason Simon heard her every night was because he just wouldn't close his eyes until she walked through the apartment door, no matter how long ago he had gotten into bed, he just didn't.

Simon felt the anger vibrate in his body, he had looked for every possible way to put that fight aside, but he simply ended up shouting whatever stupidity made the fight continue and it was his fault, it was his fault for not measuring his words and it was his fault for not closing his mouth and asking for forgiveness.

He wasn't even a violent person, he considered himself quite calm and, at some point, patient, but the last few weeks his emotions had been all over the place and he felt overwhelmed.

(Y/N) was not responsible for his anger. It was true, she could date any boy who crossed in front of her and that shouldn't be Simon's problem. He had never cared about it, but something had changed in the last few months and it could all be resume in one damn word: jealousy.

"That's not the point!" He sighed, it was becoming difficult for him to hide his anger, his tone of voice was not cooperative at all.

"You're an idiot." She muttered. The tone of her voice wasn't annoying, there was a small hint of frustration, but no more than that.

And (Y/N) didn't know what it was like to be angry with her roommate. Simon was a pain in the ass sometimes, but most of the time they both knew how to handle things. They had a good friendship, but Simon's attitude was starting to cause problems.

They were both silent for a few seconds, she looked away and waited to hear something from him, but she knew him, he wasn't going to take the first step or that's what she thought, because Simon always planned to take the first step if it came to someone who he cared.

"I'm sorry" his voice was soft when he spoke again. The girl raised her face and stared at him, she waited for her to give him some more information about his apology. "I'm sorry, I know I've been an idiot and it's not your fault."

"I'm sorry too." She nodded. "I know it's not nice to be so late."

Simon felt guilty and quickly shook his head, it wasn't her fault that he didn't know how to control his emotions. He had thought about it more than once, he tried to find a way to explain his behavior without telling the truth, but it was impossible, everything sounded like a cheap excuse, which in reality, it was.

"I'm jealous." He finally admitted and that felt like the worst hit to the chest, especially when he heard the giggle coming from the girl.

Simon looked at her confused, his brow furrowed at her laughter, which stopped immediately as soon as she saw the seriousness on his face.

"Are you serious?" He nodded and she suddenly felt guilty for laughing. For a second she thought it was one of those things Simon always said to lighten the mood. "I… Why?"

He sighed, what was he supposed to say to her? That for some reason, after drinking a couple of beers he realized that he had feelings for her? That was the only truth, but she was afraid. He looked like a teenager who didn't know how to ask a girl out on a date. He wasn't a teenager, he was an adult… who didn't know how to ask a girl out on a date.

"Listen, we've lived together for a long time." Simon took a couple of steps towards her, he could almost swear she had tensed up. "And I think… I have feelings for you."

(Y/N) pursed her lips and tried her hardest not to yell in his face, not because she was angry, but this had taken her by surprise and she simply didn't know how to respond.

"When you say something, you mean like when the milk runs out and I'm not going to buy more?" Simon giggled and shook his head, his little laughs in the middle of a conversation were one of her favorite things when she was talking to him.

"I think you're pretty and we'd be a great couple."

"Of course not." She shook her head although she couldn't stop that smile that escaped her lips. She was starting to feel nervous because she didn't know how to handle that situation. "Don't you think living together will ruin us?"

"Of course not." Simon reduced the distance even more, making her feel even more nervous, however, she was still there, in front of him, completely motionless, without showing her true feelings towards him. "I know how messy you are in the mornings, but when you come back at night it bothers you to see the mess." She smiled, it was totally true. "I also know what you eat daily, but on the weekends you always change your diet, so I could take you anything for dinner and you won't say no."

"Are you going to invite me to dinner?"

"Yes, and you will accept."

She narrowed her eyes. She hated that know-it-all attitude…actually, she liked it. She had always made fun of girls who had intense reactions to that kind of attitude and now, in those moments, she completely felt like one of those.

Her mother had told her, she knew Simon, she liked him, and she had mentioned that his feelings for her were too obvious. However, (Y/N) had only laughed at that and completely denied it because she always thought it was impossible for her roommate to have feelings for her.

But now she was here, with him in front of her, after confessed his feelings in the most direct way possible, something she appreciated, even if she hadn't said it out loud.

"I think… maybe I'll accept." She nodded. She was beginning to feel the nerves prickling at the tip of her stomach. She had never felt so nervous around Simon, maybe the first time she saw him shirtless, but that had been an accident.

Simon thought about it for a few seconds, but finally wrapped one of his arms around her hip. He didn't hold her too close to him, he held back, he wanted her to feel safe with him, but (Y/N) already felt too safe with him. She trust him enough after living together for so many years.

In her head, just for a second, she thought he might be going too fast, but he wasn't a stranger. If they hadn't fought so much in the past few days, she would even dare to call him one of her best friends.

★

Simon and (Y/N) had gotten used to having dinner together most nights, but that night was different, everything felt different, neither of them were at the other end of the couch, watching the television in silence.

No, Simon had discovered that he didn't care at all about personal space when he practically found himself with the girl on top of him, the TV didn't seem to matter right now, their conversation seemed much more interesting than even dinner.

"What about that time you said the guy I was dating seemed married in secret with three kids?" She put it on a list the boys she had dated in the past and about whom Simon always seemed to have something to say.

"Well, that wasn't jealousy, he did seem married with three children." He wrinkled his nose remembering that boy who was not at all attractive in his opinion. "Did you go on a date with him again?"

"Of course not. If my roommate, who is also my friend, says he seems married with three children, he is probably married with three children."

Simon laughed. He had never purposely ruined her dates, for many months he had kept his distance, watching the girl he loved date someone else, however, there were certain comments that had come out of his mouth without thinking and probably had more impact on the girl's decision than he thought.

"I'm not just your friend and roommate anymore, right?"

She narrowed her eyes. She thought about making a joke and maybe playing a little after all the fights he had put her through, but Simon wasn't someone who expressed himself as easily as he did that day, so she wasn't going to ruin it.

"No, you certainly aren't." She murmured.

They were both silent for several seconds, he was attractive, too much. She had never denied or hidden it, she had simply tried not to see him that way, she liked living with him, changing the way she see him would be a big problem for their coexistence.

Simon leaned towards her and she could feel his breath brush against her lips, making her more nervous than she already was. She gritted her teeth and forced herself to keep his gaze. Under other circumstances, she would have already pulled away, but she wasn't going to be the first to take a step back.

"I want to kiss you."

"Why do you announce it?" Her brow furrowed slightly. Any other boy wouldn't even have taken as much time as he was doing right now.

"Because I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

(Y/N) felt like she stopped breathing for a second, she nodded slowly, silently giving him permission. For a second she hated him, because how could she not be attracted to this man who not only knew her well, but made any other man look like nothing next to him?

When he finally pressed his lips against hers, her breathing actually hitched for several seconds. Simon was gentle, setting a slow pace and for a second she felt like she had never kissed anyone in her life and was completely inexperienced.

His arms slid around her waist slowly, pulling her towards him. For the first time, she felt Simon's arms completely surrounding her.

She felt a little disappointed when he pulled away from her, breaking the kiss, and her lips itched for more, but she noticed that for the first time, a boy had been able to make her blush and feel completely nervous.

Her mother was right when she said she was going to end up with the boy she shared her apartment with.

[dysfunctionalupsidedown]

Mike Wheeler: Trauma, Insecurity, and "STurn" (Analysis)

In "From the Hair Chair: Finn Wolfhard | Stranger Things", which is available on the official Stranger Things YouTube channel, Finn Wolfhard addresses the question, "What's going on with Mike Wheeler in Season 4?"

Mike Wheeler’s behavior in S4 has confused many, especially general audiences. However, if you look at the bigger picture, his progression (or regression) into the Mike Wheeler we know from S4 does make sense. To get a clear idea of what’s going on with him, we must look at the four seasons sequentially and with a more subtextual eye. We have a few physical puzzle pieces, and for now, we need to fill in the rest with our imagination based on evidence. A Mike point of view isn’t particularly needed to fully understand this, although it would be helpful for the GA and is something I want from S5.

In relation to this particular interview, I’ll examine Stranger Things (2016) for the past and present and “STurn” for the possible future. “STurn” actually does tell us a bit about how Mike’s self-identity arc will potentially continue in S5 and wrap up.

Also, I understand that “STurn” isn’t factual and is not even confirmed to be related to ST5. Though I don’t believe this entire analysis is instantly negated by my use of the playlist, as its only purpose here is to assume a hypothetical future. Aside from the Finn interview, everything else comes straight from the show and holds a reasonable explanation for Mike’s behavior up until the end of S4.

Remember, this post is for fun and speculation, and "STurn" is the best we have right now. Just keep in mind that I’m going into this analysis assuming it’s related to Mike Wheeler in S5. I could be entirely incorrect. Similarly, this interview isn’t wholly factual either, as it’s not what’s in the show, but it relates enough to what we’ve been shown of Mike for me to comment on.

This might be a lengthier post. Be warned.

If you’re still here and interested, I’ll get right into it.

Trauma

Finn first addresses how each of the characters are dealing with their past trauma, and that is a perfect way to describe Mike’s behavior in S4. I think a lot of people, especially the general audience, forget that, yes, while these are all characters, trauma does have the ability to affect them and change their behavior. There was an entire “Your original character before trauma vs. after trauma” trend on TikTok a minute back, and that wasn’t for nothing. 

Mike, just in S1, witnessed one of his best friends go missing, watched this best friend turn up apparently dead (as well as see his “body”), went to his funeral, jumped off of a ledge, saw his other newfound friend disappear, and so much more. Don't even get me started on the following seasons.

Mike is afraid of losing. That’s what happened to him in S1. He lost. First Will, then El. 

His fear of loss and determination to keep things in his life are significant parts of his character and have been since S1. That’s why he was so intent on finding Will. That's why he checked his walkie for El every night. That’s why he acts out in S3-S4. This isn’t an excuse for his behavior, but an explanation. It’s part of his trauma, and we see this in S4 with his fear of losing Will and El again: “Maybe I feel like I lost you or something,” and “I can't lose you,” respectively. I theorize that he fears being out of control regarding these things.

A lack of control also explains why he was so volatile to Will and El during and after Rink-O-Mania. For Will, Mike addresses this directly to him when he apologizes. It’s made evident to the audience that he acted cold in part because he thought Will was slipping away, but truthfully, he wasn’t aloof. He noticed everything about Will’s behavior and even managed to make the tragedy of that day about their friendship. Now, back to the apology, “About the last few days… You didn’t deserve anything… The truth is, the last year has been weird… Maybe I was worrying too much about El… And, I don’t know, maybe I feel like I lost you or something.” His defensiveness during the argument at the rink seems more like a trauma response than straight-up disinterest, which some people apparently think.

For El, I think this translates into him wanting her to need him. If El needs him, then there’s no way he can lose her, right? We know from the show that she doesn’t need him anymore. Mike also acknowledges this multiple times, and that thought terrifies him. In the last episode, he explains this to her, “... The truth is, El, I don’t know how to live without you… I can’t lose you, okay?”

Before Will shows Mike the painting in the van, Mike explains his dilemma. Will tries reassuring Mike, telling him that El will be fine, and Mike says he understands that. Mike then explains his true concern, “But what if after all this is over, she doesn’t need me anymore?... The truth is, when I stumbled on her in the woods, she just needed someone. It’s not fate, it’s not destiny, it’s just simple dumb luck. And one day, she's gonna realize that I’m just some random nerd that got lucky that Superman landed on his doorstep. I mean, at least Lois Lane is an ace reporter for The Daily Planet.” 

Will continues to comfort him, focusing more on the loss aspect of Mike’s trauma, which is made evident here. But those lines also make it clear that Mike is afraid El will realize his inferiority to her and abandon him. This is a good transition into Mike’s insecurity.

Insecurity

I’ve seen people argue against what Finn says here because Mike is part of the somewhat “outcast” group at school. I don’t think trying to argue that takes away from the fact that Mike did, does, and will continue to try and lead a “normal” lifestyle. He’s a teenage boy with a girlfriend and a friend group he fits into. That’s normal. He’s trying to get by. 

It was the same in S3. Mike was a kid with friends, a girlfriend, and a new want for maturity. It’s not unrealistic that the character is aging out of or into specific behaviors, especially ones that he’s previously exhibited. That leads us to his insecurity. 

We’ve had hints of it starting as far back as S1E3, when Troy injures Mike, and he initially lies about it to El so that he doesn’t seem like a loser. Similarly, these themes pick up with Will in S3E3 during their fight in the rain, “...We’re not kids anymore. I mean, what did you think, really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends? That we were just gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives?”

Curiously, Mike is shown to be especially “normal” in California. He dresses differently than he does in Hawkins and acts more aloof. As Argyle says, “It’s a shitty knock-off.” Skipping forward to the “... She's gonna realize that I’m just some random nerd that got lucky that Superman landed on his doorstep… at least Lois Lane is an ace reporter for The Daily Planet” line, and we have a good enough view of Mike’s internal conflict.

He is deeply insecure, and it seems particularly so around El. I don’t know if this was addressed in the show, and I wish we had seen some of Mike’s letters, but does El even know about the Hellfire Club? I don’t believe we’re given any indication that she does, which could imply that Mike kept it hidden from her. It wouldn’t be surprising, considering his complete attitude change in California. Also keeping in mind that Mike stopped playing D&D when he was with her in S3 and only continued to play in S4 while El was away.

Mike also displays this insecurity by choosing to distance Will. For what reason, I can’t say for sure, but it’s probably something “abnormal.” 

Regardless, his insecurity ties into his fear of loss. The more normal he is, the more things he can maintain in life and the less he has to lose. Especially when it comes to El. It all stems back to his fear, not genuine malintent, and I see too many viewers misunderstand this. 

It also works the opposite way, to a different and lesser extent. If he’s out of Hellfire Club, he loses his “normal teenage clique.” Aside from losing El completely as someone he profoundly cares about, if he loses El as a partner, he loses his girlfriend. That’s a blow to his normality. 

Will is confusing to me. If he “loses” Will, just like he felt he did at the beginning of S4, he falls more into the pattern of trying to be normal. There’s no impact on his normality. By keeping Will at arms-length, Mike gravitated more towards his “shitty knock-off” version of himself. Something about Will brings out what Mike feels is abnormal in him, so by distancing himself, he could avoid it altogether. That’s likely in part what caused such a conflict at the beginning of S4: Mike’s inability to be “normal” while fully keeping Will in his life and vice versa, his inability to lose Will just to maintain normalcy.

"STurn"

We’ve focused on trauma and insecurity. Now, it’s time for self-identity. I think that's a theme in store for the future. I'll refer back to the “STurn” analysis I previously did.

Many of the songs on this playlist contain themes of a false identity. I’ll start with “Angst In My Pants” first. To quote my "STurn" analysis:

This song is about a person attempting to be someone they're not, suppressing who they really are, and it ultimately leading to dissatisfaction. The lyrics, "You can dress nautical / Learn to tie knots / Take lots of Dramamine / Out on your yacht" describe a faux lifestyle one lives that only serves to hurt them in the end: The idea of putting on a self-harming persona. This could be what Mike is going through in S5.

Next, we have "Substitute":

This track is about an idealized version of someone being put in place of their true self. The narrator describes a scenario in which their partner sees a version of them, "I'm a substitute for another guy / I look pretty tall but my heels are high / The simple things you see are all complicated / I look bloody young, but I'm just back-dated, yeah", that is unrealistic and put on, as seen in the lyrics "Substitute your lies for fact / I see right through your plastic mac / I look all white, but my dad was black / My fine-looking suit is really made out of sack"... The concept of a guise applies well to Mike, as referenced in Angst In My Pants. A recurring theme of hiding oneself really makes me think Mike is going to completely abandon his interests for a different lifestyle. I believe Finn has also mentioned that Mike wants to be as "normal" as possible, so I can't wait to see [how far] they take that idea. It could also be him realizing how he's been acting, and admitting that this "romanticized" version isn't true to him.

Finally, "The Rebel Kind":

Like The Better Side, I couldn't find any lyrics, so I'm doing it by ear. Though, I'm happy to say that this song is about a desire to embrace differences and rebellion. "We'll be free to run with the rebel kind" and "It's not easy, but I don't mind / I just want to run with the rebel kind" establish that. The track appears to tie into Mike's insecurity struggles throughout the playlist. It could be the narrator's struggle to keep up with societal norms before finally giving in to their truth instead of trying to conform, read as "they call us rebels but don't get how hard it is to for us to keep up." On the other hand, it could be the narrator commenting on how society doesn't understand people like them, and, by embracing their true selves, it proves more about who they are than conforming ever would; read as, "you think we're the rebellious ones, but you don't understand that we're more self-secure and strong than you'll ever be." I can see both of these interpretations working for Mike and his connection to the Party. The progression of insecurity in Angst In My Pants and potential realization of this guise in Substitute is wrapped up by Mike's self-acceptance here. I really hope this is how it plays out in S5.

Conclusion

Mike's brewing insecurity, paired with his trauma of loss, seems like it may boil over in S5. I theorize that he’ll drift even more into his “shitty knock-off” self, even if just on the surface, and do whatever he can to maintain normalcy in his life. Whether this leads to more conflict with Will, we’ll have to wait and see.

Besides that, Mike might eventually accept his "differences." He also may be willing to cope with loss for what it is, even if it’s the loss of the normalcy he tries so hard to maintain in certain situations. I can see Mike having a heavy emphasis on self-identity in S5, and as I said earlier, I can’t wait to see where they take that.

Thank you for reading; I hope you enjoyed!

As is customary with all my posts, if anything here is incorrect or you believe there’s something I should add, feel free to let me know. I’d love to have more conversations about Mike and read all the predictions for S5 I can.

[tinyundercover]

pepper & felix

part four

Felix has a lot on his mind.

MASTERPOST word count: 3.2k

“Hey, Felix, are you even listening?”

A hand waved in front of Felix’s face, jerking him back to reality. 

His three friends stared at him, the four of them seated in a booth of a local restaurant. Felix blinked several times, momentarily shoving away the uncomfortable memory of a tiny heartbeat thudding against his finger.

“Yeah, yeah, sorry. I just zoned out for a sec.” He forced himself to laugh, beginning to pick absentmindedly at his food. The cozy setting of the restaurant helped to ease his stress somewhat, but his stomach still continued to squirm.

His friend that had addressed him— Alice— just snickered and said, “Honestly, Felix, you’ve been acting so weird lately.” Her dark eyelashes fluttered in amusement, peering at him from across the booth.

To Felix’s left, Breanna nodded, a finger twirling one of her long dark braids. “Yeah. What’s going on with you?”

As three pairs of eyes stared at him, Felix chewed his lip. “Um…”

He hadn’t told anyone about Pepper, aside from his soulmate, who had seemed to be just as shocked as he was to learn about the existence of tiny men living in the walls. His soulmate was actually the one to suggest that Felix keep his discovery a secret. 

As much as he longed to tell his friends about that crazy incident three days ago, he didn’t want to sound completely insane. Honestly, he was wondering if he had imagined the whole thing.

“He’s probably just worried about The Little Mermaid auditions,” Owen suggested, giving Felix a toothy smile from across the table. “He really wants to be Prince Eric.” He raised his voice in a mocking royal tone, lifting a finger.

(Owen didn’t do theater, unlike Felix, Alice, and Breanna. He just liked hanging out with them.) 

Felix exhaled. “Yeah, that’s exactly it,” he lied, grateful to have an excuse for his distant behavior. “I’m super nervous. I’d really like to get a lead.”

“Same,” Breanna and Alice said in unison. 

“I’ve been practicing, like, every day,” Breanna admitted, resting her chin in her palm. “I think I’m gonna go for Ursula.”

The three others voiced their approval. Alice then began to rant about “that bitch in Music II that just wants to be Ariel so bad” and Felix took the opportunity to zone out again, thinking about a tiny man sprinting across his counter, holding a piece of spinach. 

He frowned suddenly. Had Pepper been stealing the spinach for food? Had Felix interrupted him and forced him to go hungry? Was he okay?

“Felix,” Alice said, turning towards him so quickly that her silky black hair audibly whipped. “You are literally staring at the wall.”

“Oh, uh—“ Felix blinked several times, face going pink. “Sorry. Ugh. Just thinking.”

His friends laughed, and Felix ran his hands anxiously through his blonde hair, trying to ground himself in reality. 

“Hey— what audition song are you using?” Breanna asked, her brown eyes dark and kind as they searched Felix’s face. Felix appreciated her immensely; she never made fun of him and always seemed to notice when he was uneasy.

“I haven’t decided yet,” Felix murmured, glancing at her. “Something from Beauty and the Beast, maybe. I dunno.”

“I’m using Beauty and the Beast, too,” Alice chirped. “My soulmate actually suggested it.”

That caught Felix’s attention. “Wait— you’re talking to your soulmate, now, too?”

Alice’s eyebrows raised, and she sighed dramatically. “Dude, I just said that, like, ten minutes ago. Have you really not been listening this whole time?” Breanna and Owen nodded.

He flushed. “Oh, shit, I’m sorry. Um— when did you start talking? Tell me again.”

Alice, of course, was thrilled to tell the same story twice. She immediately leaned closer, as if she was telling the three of them a secret. “He turned twenty-one yesterday,” she explained, lips twitching into a smile, “and we literally talked all night. He’s so sweet, and smart, and funny. Like, it was love at first sight.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s just how soulmates work,” Owen teased. Alice gently punched him.

“Shut up. Anyways, I just knew he was the one for me the second I heard his voice.”

Felix offered a smile, but her words sent an uncomfortable feeling into his stomach.

“You’ve been talking to your soulmate too— right, Felix?” Alice continued, tilting her head. “How’s that going?”

Ugh. Felix stalled by taking a sip of his water, then cleared his throat. “He seems a little shy,” he admitted. “I… I don’t really understand him yet, I guess.”

“What do you mean?” Breanna asked curiously.

Felix chewed his lip, thinking. “Um… I mean, I like him. He seems nice. But sometimes he’ll just cut our conversations off without any warning. And he never really talks about himself? He just asks me questions, mainly.”

He rested his chin on his hands, dropping his gaze. “We also haven’t really talked in a few days,” he mumbled. “We just… had a weird conversation, and he stopped reaching out.”

“I’ve heard of this happening,” Owen said thoughtfully, running his fingers through his red hair. “It’s actually pretty common to not get along with your soulmate right away. My older brother hated his soulmate for a few months before they actually got to know each other.”

“That’s comforting,” Felix said darkly.

“I’m sure you’ll work things out,” Breanna offered, and Alice nodded supportingly. “It just takes time.”

“Yeah,” Felix agreed, although his mind was starting to drift again. “I’m sure.”

—

Felix felt self-conscious.

His gaze wandered around the walls of his apartment. He was currently sitting on the floor, legs crossed underneath him, and quietly singing along to a song playing from his laptop. This was normal for him, typically. When an audition or a performance was coming around, he spent a lot of his time sitting in his apartment, practicing. 

However— the knowledge that someone could be sitting in the walls, watching him right now, made him incredibly uneasy.

He hadn’t seen any sign of Pepper in the last three days, and he hoped that he hadn’t scared the little guy off permanently. Pepper had seemed absolutely terrified after their encounter.

His stomach twisted in regret, and his voice wobbled. If he could go back in time, he would change how he had treated Pepper in a heartbeat. Thinking of that tear-filled gray gaze staring up at him from beneath a cup just made him want to throw up.

God, I was such an asshole. He closed his eyes, steadying his breathing for a moment. When he held Pepper, he could feel his kicks and punches and struggles, but he had barely even acknowledged it. He had an entire person in his hand and he had completely ignored their fear.

Felix felt sick.

The song ended, but he had stopped singing along a few minutes ago. He leaned back dejectedly against the seat of the couch.

“You sound pretty.”

Felix nearly jumped out of his skin. He sat up straight, immediately freezing.

There, at the base of a bookshelf, was Pepper. Down on the floor, only a few feet away from Felix, Pepper seemed smaller than ever. He wore a tiny blue jacket that somehow seemed baggy on him, his sleeved arms folded in front of his small chest. A pair of tiny gray eyes were locked on Felix.

Felix was immediately hit with an onslaught of emotions; he was relieved to see Pepper again, but his heart was already thudding with guilt, remembering how easily he had trapped such a tiny being against his will. He felt incredibly uncomfortable to see Pepper standing on the floor, his neck craning to look up at Felix, who was also sitting on the floor. 

“I said you sound pretty,” Pepper repeated. Despite his casual demeanor, there was a significant caution in the way he lingered by the wall, as if he was ready to bolt at any moment.

Felix blinked, muscles tense. “Oh– thank you. I, um… I didn’t know you were listening.” He held his breath, as if Pepper might bolt at the drop of a pin. 

Those tiny shoulders shrugged. “I just overheard you, and I figured I’d stop by.” After a moment, he added, “Besides, I wanted to come and thank you.”

Felix did a double take. “Wait, what?”

“For letting me go,” Pepper explained, as if this was a normal Tuesday for him. “And you didn’t kill me or keep me, which is pretty typical for humans. And you didn’t go searching for me afterwards, even though it’s been three days. So… thanks for all that.”

Felix’s heart sank, while an uneasy feeling itched at his skin. Is that really what Pepper had expected from him? Being killed, or tormented? The thought of hurting Pepper any more than he already did made him feel sick to his stomach. He couldn’t explain why, but he needed Pepper to understand that he wasn’t any of those things he had described. 

“Pepper…” His voice was hollow. He leaned forward, heart twisting at the sight of Pepper taking a small step back. “Pepper, you don’t need to thank me. I should be apologizing. You didn’t deserve to be grabbed, or– or trapped like that. I’m sorry. I really, really am.”

The borrower frowned for a moment, inquisitive. Then, quietly, “You just did what any human would do.”

Felix’s stomach turned. “That doesn’t make it okay. I still could have hurt you.”

Pepper remained suspiciously quiet, and Felix’s heart pounded. “Did… Did I hurt you?”

“Just a couple bruises,” Pepper said with a shrug, picking at the hem of his blue jacket. “It wasn’t that bad though. Nothing broken, or anything.”

Fuck.

Felix’s stomach was suddenly filled with ice. “Shit… I’m so fucking sorry, I wasn’t trying to hurt you, I swear.” His blue gaze worriedly scanned Pepper’s small form, as if he could magically see the finger-shaped bruises underneath his clothes. “Can— can I make it up to you, somehow? Please?”

Standing on the floor, Pepper seemed even smaller. He was barely over three inches tall, and Felix had acted so carelessly that he had bruised him. What had he been thinking?

“It’s okay, really,” Pepper said, seeming a little wary. “I get bruised all the time. It’s not new to me.”

“No, no. Can I make you something to eat, maybe? As an apology?”

The small man hesitated, wide gray eyes darting around the room. “You don’t have to do that.” As if on cue, the rumbling of his tiny stomach filled the air. Pepper’s tan face immediately flushed, and Felix tilted his head sympathetically.

“Here… let me go make a quick salad. It’ll take five minutes. Wait here.” Pepper had tried to take a piece of spinach a few days ago, so Felix figured a salad would be a good peace offering for all the trouble he had caused. 

Before Pepper could refuse, Felix swiftly pulled himself to his feet. He immediately felt uneasy, looking down at the three-inch-tall boy from his height of nearly six feet, and took a calculated step back.

Pepper hadn’t moved, but his posture was significantly more rigid than it was before, staring up at the human. Considering the circumstances, Felix was grateful that he hadn’t instantly scurried off into the walls, and he murmured, “I’ll be right back.”

As he crossed the room into the kitchen, he tried to imagine that he was three inches tall, looking up at a man the size of a skyscraper. He shuddered, uneasy at the thought, and decided that Pepper must be a lot braver than he gave him credit for. The small man had actually approached Felix willingly, after all.

He stood aimlessly in the kitchen for a few seconds before rummaging through his fridge. He hadn’t gone grocery shopping in a week, and a lot of his produce was getting old. He’ll have to make do with what he had.

After a minute or two of dicing a cucumber into microscopic pieces, Felix spared a glance to his right, and stiffened.

It took him a moment to register what he was seeing. A small silver hook was latched onto the edge of the counter, and climbing up the thread it was attached to was Pepper. 

The small man was about three quarters of the way up, not even looking in Felix’s direction. The human blinked several times, entranced by Pepper’s quick movements. Pepper had pulled his sleeves up to cover his hands as he climbed, a clever way to avoid ropeburn. 

Deciding not to say anything, Felix turned back to the cutting board in front of him, carefully sectioning off an ounce of diced cucumber. He was halfway through chopping up some spinach when he glanced over again, only to see Pepper seated patiently on the countertop, raveling up his thread into small circles.

Felix gently cleared his throat. “That was impressive.”

Pepper tilted his head in Felix’s direction. It wasn’t any easier to read his expressions, even now that he was higher up. “Thanks.”

“Where’d you get that hook from?” Felix asked politely, absentmindedly searching for some sort of small plate or bowl he could give to a person the size of his finger.

“My sister,” Pepper explained hesitantly. “It’s an old fishing hook, I think. She got it for me when we were kids.”

Felix’s eyebrow raised, and he immediately had a thousand more questions. Pepper had a family, then? What was his childhood like? Did Pepper’s sister live here, too? 

“What’s her name?” Felix finally asked, figuring that was a safe enough question to not frighten him off.

To his surprise, Pepper actually frowned, tightening his tiny grip on his hook. “It’s not really my place to say,” he said finally, voice cautious but firm. “Humans aren’t supposed to know anything about us, even our names.”

You told me your name, Felix wanted to say, but he decided against it. He glanced over as Pepper spoke up again.

“Have you… told anyone about me?” Pepper spoke as if he was trying to be casual, but Felix could sense a tenseness in the small man’s shoulders. The human blinked.

“No… not really,” Felix said softly. “I only told my soulmate. I’m sorry. But to be fair, I don’t think he believed me.”

Pepper’s face was unreadable, so Felix added, “Um, do you know what soulmates are?”

After a long moment, the borrower finally said, “I’ve… heard of them.”

Felix nodded, scraping a blend of diced veggies onto the corner of a napkin. “Humans have a telepathic connection with their soulmate,” he explained. “So I was able to tell my soulmate that I met you. But he acted kind of weird about it, and we haven’t really talked since, so… he probably just thinks I’m crazy now, I guess. You’re in the clear.”

“Huh,” Pepper said. “That’s interesting.”

Felix turned towards Pepper, the napkin laying flat in his hand. As he approached, it was hard not to stare at Pepper, in awe of just how small he was. The counter looked gigantic compared to him. 

He set the napkin down a few inches away, hyper aware that this is the closest he’s been to Pepper since their last encounter. The small man visibly flinched as his hand approached, and Felix desperately wanted him to understand that he would never grab him like that again.

“Here,” Felix offered. “It’s spinach, cucumber, lettuce and some carrots. I didn’t add any dressing, cause I wasn’t sure what you like. And— I’m sorry— I don’t have any silverware that you could use. Um, but I hope you like it.”

Pepper, for the first time, actually sent him a small smile. “Thank you.” He swiftly approached the napkin, peering down at it momentarily with his small hands planted on his hips. After a moment of examination, Pepper picked up a piece of cucumber and tentatively nibbled at it. 

Felix hovered nearby, his mind racing with a thousand questions. He still had no idea what Pepper even was, or why he had been lingering around his apartment. Did he live nearby?

“So…” Felix avoided looking at Pepper, busying himself by scraping the rest of his salad mix into a tupperware container. “I know you said humans aren’t supposed to know about you, but… I can’t lie, I’m really curious about you.”

Gray eyes peered up at him, hesitant. 

Felix met his gaze briefly. “You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to,” he assured. “But… but what exactly are you? Why can’t humans know about you?”

He tried to keep his voice light, respectful. In the corner of his eye, Pepper sat down, crossing his legs underneath him. Felix hoped that meant he was comfortable.

“Uh…” Pepper placed the cucumber piece back down on the napkin. “Well, we try to stay out of sight, for our safety. The world just… isn’t built for us.” He gestured vaguely to the kitchen, and Felix agreed that he looked very out of place on the massive counter. “If humans knew about us, we would probably be seen as— as pests, or something, so that’s why we try not to bother anyone.”

Felix’s eyebrows raised. “That’s messed up,” he said worriedly. “You all live in hiding because of humans? That’s… awful.”

He hated the idea that Pepper had at one point believed that Felix would hurt him, just because he was smaller. Did he still believe that? 

“It’s not so bad,” Pepper reasoned, shrugging. “I mean, I’ve lived like this my whole life. And it’s not like we want to be interacting with humans, anyways. Humans are dangerous, whether they try to be or not.”

Felix stayed quiet, uneasy. Pepper continued hesitantly. “So… thank you, for keeping our secret. It means a lot more than you’d think.”

The human blinked, glancing over at the small man. Earnestly shone behind Pepper’s gray eyes.

“Of course,” Felix assured. “I’ll never tell anyone about you, I promise.”

Pepper opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but decided against it. Felix glanced over, watching as the small man leaned over the remains of his little salad and began to rip the napkin into a smaller piece.

After a minute, Pepper straightened up, and Felix realized what he had done. The napkin had been tied up into a little bundle, the salad nestled securely inside. “I’ll take this home with me,” Pepper said, genuinely grateful. “Thank you so much.”

He really did seem to have a lot of experience with this kind of life. Crafty, clever, and resourceful. Felix nodded, heart lifting at the positive response from the small man. “Of course. It’s the least I could do.”

Pepper nodded respectfully, beginning to walk towards the toaster, where Felix recalled there was a hidden exit. Then, the small man paused, peering up at Felix again.

“Also— I’m sure your soulmate doesn’t think you’re crazy,” Pepper said. “I think he’d be glad to hear from you again.”

Felix’s eyebrows raised in surprise. He had forgotten he had even mentioned his soulmate to Pepper. “Oh! Well, I’ll… I’ll reach out to him soon.”

“Good. And thanks again, for the salad. Maybe I’ll see you around, Felix.”

Hearing his name on Pepper’s tongue made Felix’s heart jump, not unpleasantly. “Right. No problem. See you around.”

—

Hours later, Pepper sat in his hammock, nibbling on a piece of carrot, thinking of massive hands and blonde hair. He sat up straighter as a voice entered his mind.

“Hey, soulmate, how have you been?”

“Hey, Felix,” Pepper murmured, setting his carrot down. Heart skipping a beat, he pressed his hands to his chest.

“Hey. It’s good to hear from you,” he responded, the corners of his lips twitching into a smile.

____

that awkward moment when ur soulmate turns out to be a literal giant that shouldn't even know u exist ... poor pepper

thanks smmm for reading! :]

[thatbxolivia]

you’d been acting like a brat all day.

anakin hated using that word, really, he did. you were a kind and good hearted soul, but today you were acting like a brat.

you fought him getting up, you refused breakfast, whined all day, kept talking back, and to top it all off, you were rude to obiwan when he tried to give you a hug!

anakin had enough.

“get in the house.” he said sternly, closing the door behind you. you muttered under your breath about how stupid this all was and how you were a big girl and he couldn’t tell you what to do. “say it again, y/n.” he said, not using a nickname. you hung your head low and shuffled inside, going into your room and locking the door behind you. you threw your bag across the room and screamed. you didn’t know why you were being this way today either, but now daddy hated you. you heard quick footsteps coming to you and daddy tried to open the door, sighing when it was locked. “absolutely not, open the door. you know better!” he said, raising his voice slightly, knocking. “y/n, you know the rules, this door stays unlocked, always!” he banged on the door again. you unlocked it and tried to shove him out. “absolutely not.” he muttered, man handling you to turn around and bend over the bed. “keep going.” he taunted, holding you over the bed with your hands behind your back. “what’s gotten into you?” he questioned, genuinely concerned. you were getting a punishment, that wasn’t up for debate, but he still wanted to know so he could maybe make you feel better.

“i don’t know!” you sobbed. “let me go!” you cried, kicking. daddy used his knee to hold your legs down, forcing you to be still.

“you need to breathe.” was all he said, sighing. he loved you so much and he would never leave you but this was becoming an issue. he had a feeling you’d gone off your meds again, and he was seeing now that this was something you needed him to manage for you. this was an issue, like he said, and he needed to correct it. he would do so by handing out medication for you and dispensing it when needed. but before that, he had to correct your attitude. your medicine, or lack thereof, explained your behavior but it did not excuse it. “what’d you do today?”

“i was mean.” you whined. daddy nodded.

“what else? you’re not getting off that easy.” he said.

“i was mean to obi wan, i was mean to you, and i fought you on everything.” you cried. you hated punishments because you were always convinced daddy hated you afterwards.

“wasn’t very nice, was it?” he asked you rubbing the side of your hip soothingly.

“no, daddy.” you sniffled. he sighed, not really wanting to punish you but it would teach you that you could get away with these things if he didn’t. he began pulling your skirt up and gave you fifteen hard slaps on your backside, causing you to cry out. by the last one, he himself felt like an ass for making you cry. he let your skirt fall back down.

“hey, come here.” he said, pulling you back up. you had tears in your eyes and reached out for your daddy. he pulled you in for a hug, rubbing your back. “i love you.” he told you, your head in the corner of his neck.

“you hate me!” you wailed.

“i could never.” he said, rubbing your back some more. he cupped the back of your head and made you look at him. you were hiccuping and crying and your daddy’s heart broke looking at you. “i could never hate you.” he said again. “i love you so much, i do this because i know you’re a good girl and punishments will correct your behavior. you’re still a good girl even if you make mistakes. if you weren’t good, you wouldn’t learn, so i wouldn’t bother. yeah?” he said, and he made sense. you were just still upset and embarrassed. your daddy knew this and brushed hair out of your face. “please don’t hide from me, i love you so much.” he told you. you sniffled and nodded.

“i get scared you hate me.” you choked out.

“i could never hate you.” he repeated. “never. you are the love of my life, i could never feel anything for you aside from complete and utter love.” he said.

“it’s so hard to remember.” you said. “i’m so sure.” you said, feeling kind of crazy for having all these emotions.

“have you been taking your meds?” daddy asked calmly. you sobbed and shook your head. “it’s okay, there’s no need to cry, baby.” he told you. “daddy’s gonna manage those from now on and hopefully that’ll make you feel better. and daddy isn’t upset at all. nor do i blame you, so please don’t think that. i love you so much.” he pleaded with you. you shook from crying, unable to look up. you were still embarrassed. “you’re still my perfect girl.” he said, giving you a hug.

“daddy, i love you. i’m sorry about today.”

“it’s okay, baby. daddy knows and he understands why. everything is okay.” he promised you, giving you one more hug. “let’s get you into a bath, will that help you calm down?” he suggested and you nodded. he quickly got you undressed and into the bathroom as he ran the water. he hugged you, keeping you warm.

“daddy, will you get in with me?” you asked, shy.

“of course i will, you sure?” he asked and you nodded. “okay, baby, you got it.” he said, undressing himself. as the water got close enough, he helped you in then got in behind you, the two of you sitting in the tub. “i know we cleaned you this morning but i figured the hot water would still help you.” he said, kissing your shoulder blade. you sat in the large tub between his legs and nodded. “what else are you thinking about?” he asked.

“i just don’t want obiwan to hate me either.” you said and daddy shook his head.

“obi wan understands you were grumpy today and he knows not to take it personal. i will explain to him what happened with the medication and that’ll make him understand everything. really, it’ll be okay.” daddy reassured you.

“okay, i believe you.”

“good girl.” he said, rubbing your back. you laid back and listened to his heartbeat for a few moments. he held you just above the water, making you feel secure. a few moments passed and he began lathering up a sponge. he gently put your hair up then washed your back, arms, and legs. he rinsed you off quick and the two of you sat there a brief moment before getting out. “i do want to say something.” daddy stopped you. you got quiet and looked. “you know i love you. and i’m never leaving. but don’t hit me, baby.” he told you, looking at you. “don’t hit me when i’m just trying to help.” you were about to ask what he was talking about but you remembered shoving him and kicking him and began crying.

“I’m sorry.”

“hey, i know you are. and i’ve already forgiven you. i’m not judging you, i just want you to know it can’t happen again. this is a safe space for both of us, that means me, too.”

“i know, daddy, i’m sorry.” you sniffled.

“it’s okay, baby. daddy understands why it happened and you know i forgive you.” he promised, pulling you in for a small hug. “i have never loved someone so much. please don’t think i’m mad, i’m not, it just can’t happen again.” he told you, setting his boundary. you nodded, trying not to take it personal. you knew he had every reason to ask you to not hit him, so why were you so upset?

“okay…” you trailed off as he helped you out of the water and wrapped you up.

“no, none of that, tell me what’s on your mind.” he said, wrapping a towel around his waist. and you did, you told him exactly what you were thinking.

“i’m trying not to take criticism so personally… and it’s not even criticism… i know you have the right to ask me not to hit you but i’m upset still and i don’t know why, daddy.” you cried, upset at being upset. his expression softened and he pulled you in for another hug.

“you’re embarrassed.” was all he said. “you’re embarrassed about earlier today and just now and it’s making you feel shameful. you don’t need to feel that way, though. i love you, obi wan loves you, everything is going to be okay.” he said, wiping your tears. you nodded, shaking from the crying. “come on, sweet girl.” he maneuvered you out to the bedroom and got you dressed after applying lotion, then dressed himself. he left momentarily and came back on the phone, talking to obiwan.

“yeah, we’ve had a hard day today.” your daddy said, referring to the two of you. “do you have a moment?”

“of course i have a moment for her, put her on.” you heard obiwan say. he didn’t sound mad at all.

“hi.” you said softly, picking at your thumb with your free hand before daddy stopped you. you sighed.

“hi, little one. your daddy told me about the meds, how do you feel?”

“sad.”

“well, that won’t do. that’s no good.”

“feel stupid, obi wan.” you said, sniffling.

“don’t feel stupid. people forget medicine all the time. you have a lot on your plate and you’re just a little one, it’s good anakin will watch over for you.” obiwan said. you nodded, knowing he was right.

“i’m sorry for being mean, obiwan.” you sniffled, beginning to cry again. daddy started to rub your back again.

“hey, hush now. everything is okay, i forgive you.” obiwan said. you breathed a sigh of relief, happy you didn’t lose your friend. “i think it’s time for you to take your nap, how about we all go for dinner when you’re up? will that make you feel better?”

“can i have a hug when i see you?” you asked.

“you can have two.” he told you, chuckling. you laughed a little, too.

“thank you. i love you.”

“i love you too, kiddo. both of you, we’ll talk later.” he promised and hung up. you handed the phone back to daddy.

“we see obiwan tonights?” you asked. your daddy laughed and nodded. “after i nap?”

“yes, baby. after you nap.” he said, tucking you in and handing you your stuffed bear. it was actually an old toy of anakin’s and he had repurposed it for you. you loved it.

“i love you, daddy.” you said, smiling.

“i love you, baby. so much.” he said, kissing your forehead and turning off the lights. “want daddy to nap with you?”

“yes please.” you said. he got in next to you and you snuggled up, on his chest, legs tangled together. your favorite sleeping position.

“you know i’m gonna be around forever, right? i’m not going anywhere.” he told you, kissing you on the lips. you smiled and nodded.

“i won’t go anywhere either.” you promised.

“good.” he whispered, kissing your forehead this time. “go to bed. i promise i’ll be here when you wake up.” he told you.

and you fell asleep, safe and feeling secure.

[pannman]

The Bet

Tw: nsfw, butt play, degradation sort of

Keep in mind I'm aroace very new to writing this kind of stuff

Angel dust x GN reader

Losing a bet to your boyfriend Angel Dust came with its perks. You had started making these bets to spice up your relationship. It started small. "If I beat you at cards you have to give me a kiss" but it soon got to be similar to a spicy game of Truth and Dare. And bet in particular got... intense. "One more game of darts babe, come on" Angel was making any excuse to keep the party going even though you were ready to call it a night. "No, you just don't wanna stop drinking and partying but you can do that without me." You reasoned. "It ain't as fun without you" he tried to sweet talk you. "How about we make a bet to make things more interesting?" He proposed. You knew what you were getting into. If Angel won you were going to be in for a ride but you couldn't help it. It turned you on just a little bit and excited you. "Okay fine. If I win... you have to top me." Your boyfriend Angel was more of a bottom and you were happy to take charge but there were times you wanted to be in opposite positions. "Deal. But if I win... I get to... decide your punishment at a later date." He said with mischievous grin. "Aw what? I don't even know I'm agreeing to... or are you just not that creative today?" You challenged. Angel scoffed clearly offended. "Are you kidding? You have any idea what I do for a living? Not that creative..." You held in a laugh because of how easily you got to him. "Nah, I just have a couple of ideas in mind and I just want some time to pick which one. Now do we have a bet or not?" He smirked. "It's a bet." You agreed. Too bad you suck at darts...

Angel didn't waste time rubbing it your face. "Aw you didn't have to lose on purpose that bad to help my ego." He teased. You gave a dirty look but with a playful smirk underneath. "Well, I'm going to bed now" you yawned. Angel didn't fight you this time. "G'night babe" you blew him a kiss as the elevator doors closed. The next few days went by like normal and you completely forgot about the bet. That is until Charlie announced that they were having a big fancy masquerade party and all of hell's most powerful and elite were invited. "You see, since my dad cut me off and Alastor doesn't have much use for money we are looking for some investors and this party will be our big attempt gain support." Charlie explained. Vaggie, who was a straight to the point kind of person, added to the conversation. "These people are some of Hell's most rich and powerful so everyone needs to be on their best behavior." You wondered what Angel thought of all this nonsense but when you looked over you caught him staring at you with a devilish look in his eye before he turned away quickly upon you noticing him. That evening you were deciding what to where when you saw him entering your room from behind you in the mirror. "That outfit is fire baby I would go with that one." He said gesturing to one of the outfits you had set aside. "Yeah, I like this one too." He smiled almost a bit too innocently. "I have just one note" he said. "Oh yeah and what's that?" You asked. "Don't go without this" you looked up to see he was holding a butt plug. "You think I'm gonna wear a butt plug to this thing?!?" You looked at him as if he was crazy. "I know you are. You lost the bet remember." Unfortunately you're memories came flooding back. "Damn it." You agreed to that stupid bet in the first place. And you should've known he was going to do something like this. You begrudgingly agreed and took it from him. "Here let me help you with that." He wasn't taking any chances as he took upon himself to insert it into your anus. It wasn't too big but it was gonna take some getting used to for a bit. It definitely felt weird walking around with something inside you. You got all dressed up and headed downstairs.

The party was filled with very high class demons. Some were hellborn nobles and others were sinner overlords. And even Lucifer himself was there despite the fact that he cut Charlie off. Although he didn't seem too pleased to be there. You tried to act normal despite what was going on in your rear and it started to feel a little better. You were still hyper aware down there but you were getting more comfortable with it. You floated around the room. You made small talk with a few demons here and there before you noticed Charlie was guiding her father Lucifer in your direction after introducing him to everyone else. You were quite nervous but you forced a smile. "And this is y/n. Y/n this is my father Lucifer." He didn't seemed interested in you as he coldly put out his hand without giving you a glance "pleasure" he said unenthusiastically. You went to shake his hand "pleasures all mi-" you gasped as you felt a strong vibrating sensation in your rectum. Lucifer definitely noticed and had a look of surprise. "Um the pleasuress.. all mine-SIR" the butt plug was set to an on and off setting where it would start buzzing and then stop. You felt your legs getting shaky as you tried to maintain your composure. Lucifer was aware you were acting strange, but in hell's name couldn't tell why. Charlie was more just concerned. "Are you okay?" She asked. "Yes I'm fine! Totally fine!" Charlie could tell you wanted this conversation to end so she did it for you. "I should show you the view from the balcony dad. It's breathtaking." She led him away as you sighed in relief for only a second when you noticed Alastor on his way over. WTF? You thought. "Hello, y/n! Pardon my intrusion but Angel told me you wanted to speak with me" that fucking asshole! You leaned on the table for support trying to make it look casual. "You KNOW whaaat, I.. I don't remember what was-must not have beennnn important" you smiled nervously hoping he would just go away but he didn't seem notice. "Well, that's odd. You'll have to let me know if it comes to you later. How are you enjoying the party?" You continued talking to him clenching your cheeks and leaning on the table desperately trying to hide the torture you were under. Finally Alastor was needed elsewhere and you were free. You needed to find Angel now! You scoured the room before spotting him at the bar casually sipping on wine engaging with Husk. You made you were having over having a difficult time walking. "Angel! We need to talk!" Angel just gave you a smirk. You were started to become infuriated "Angel this is serious. There's a lot of powerful demons here." Angel took a sip of his wine "so?" You sighed in frustration. "So... just pick something else for the bet please" you pleaded with him. "Alright. Alright." He said. You saw him pull out of his pocket just visible to you the remote. He pressed a button a few times. Suddenly you felt the most intense buzzing ever and almost fell to your knees before he caught you. You heard Charlie approaching in alarm. But Angel reassured her. "Nah, don't worry about it. They just had too much to drink. I'll take them up to their room." He practically carried you which definitely convinced everyone that you were drunk. They probably thought it explained your strange behavior through the night. He guided you up the elevator, past your room and into his room. He pushed you onto the bed and removed your clothes and the butt plug. After all the times you came really close to climax tonight you were in desperate need. "Time for you to accept your end of the bet" he whispered in your ear. You were in for a long night. And you weren't complaining.

[slayfics]

Please write something with Genya Shinazugawa. It could be anything you want. I live for this men.😭🙏

I can do anything for him. Even clean the whole villa.

You have tea with Genya.

You gazed at the food on the table and noticed the swordsmith had only brought out one meal, but you were positive there was another demon slayer staying in the village.

"Excuse me, is the other swordsmen going to be joining tonight?" you asked.

"Oh- I do not believe so. Mr. Shinazugawa has not been taking meals," the swordsmith explained before exiting the room.

You stared at the appealing food in front of you as you contemplated. You had run into the other demon slayer while you were training and he seemed to have been caught off guard by it. Immediately when you asked if he wanted to spar he turned away and left. Now that you were replaying the memory in your head you realized he had looked rather flushed. Maybe he wasn't feeling well?

You decided to go check on him to ensure he was feeling ok.

You made your way to the part of the estate where the guest rooms were. Assuming his room must be the only one with a closed door you knocked.

"What?!" You heard him call angrily from the inside. A few moments later Genya slid the door open. And there it was again, his face ignited in a hot flush.

He must be battling a heavy fever you thought. He stood frozen in the doorway staring at you- suddenly, he had no words to say. You placed your hand up to his forehead to feel his temperature.

"That's strange," You exclaimed out loud. Even though his face was clearly red with a fever, his forehead was at normal temperature.

"Uh-" were all the words that Genya managed to muster at you.

"Your face is clearly red, but you don't seem to have a sign of a fever. Are you ok?" You asked.

Genya just nodded slightly, then slid the door back shut, being too overwhelmed by your presence.

You jumped in surprise at his reaction.

"Shinazugawa, are you sure you're ok?" You called through the door but got no answer. "I can bring you something to eat if you'd like," you offered.

"No!" He yelled hastily from the other side of the door.

You were startled again by his actions. He seemed to be a rather strange demon slayer.

"Hmm... ok well, I hope I didn't disturb you too much," You said, sounding a little downcast. "I was hoping to get to spend some time with you after seeing you at the training grounds- it's lonely being a demon slayer sometimes you know? But clearly, you're not feeling well so- I understand. Get some rest Mr. Shinazugawa," You said and began to make your way back down the hall.

Just as you turned around to leave you heard his door slide open again, he shyly peeked out from the other side at you.

You turned back to look at him dumbfounded by his behavior.

"Did you need something after all?" You asked.

"Uh-...," He began to speak, his face still in a complete flush. "I'll uh- have some tea," He said, barely loud enough for you to hear.

"Sure, I'll grab some and come right back ok?" You said smiling at him sweetly trying to help him feel more at ease. However, for some reason, your smile seemed to increase his fever. So you made your way to the kitchen fast to ask for some tea.

When you got there, the swordsmith was completely shocked that Genya had agreed to take something but was quick to hand you two cups of tea.

You walked back to his room with two cups of tea on a tray and gently knocked again. Genya slowly slid his door back open- his fever seemed to be a little more under control.

"Here, one is for you," You said, raising the tray to him. "Would you- like me to join you for a bit?" You asked. For some reason, this question seemed to increase his fever again. You tilted your head to the side, curious as to what kind of sickness this might be.

Genya nodded shyly once more and stepped aside to welcome you into the room.

You sat on the floor to make yourself comfortable and grabbed your tea into your hands. Genya stood awkwardly at the door.

"Well, come join me," You said, laughing slightly.

Genya reluctantly sat across from you. But, he didn't make any conversation. Instead, he sipped his tea while awkwardly taking glances at you. Every time he did his fever increased just a bit more.

"Hm- I'm sorry I thought this tea would help... anyway- I saw you training and your weapon is unique. I've never seen any demon slayers use a gun before. How does that work on demons exactly?" You asked.

"Uh-... the bullets, they are... made of the same material as nichirin swords," He said, again in such a quiet voice you almost didn't hear. It must be hard for him to talk being so sick you thought.

"Oh- wow, that's really cool. Could you- show me how it works when you're feeling better?" You asked.

Geny nodded again, "Tomorrow- I uh- I can tomorrow morning," He said and looked away from you as his blush increased once more.

"Ok! Only if you're sure you'll be feeling better!" You said excitedly as you finished your tea.

A smile spread on Genya's face at your words, as it seemed he had finally let go of some of the tension in his body. "I'll be fine," he assured you.

"I'll come to check on you just to make sure," You said standing up. "For now just get some rest ok? It was nice talking to you, It- it is hard being on so many missions alone. It's nice to relate to another demon slayer. So- I look forward to talking to you more! Goodnight Mr. Shinazugawa," You said as you made your way to the door.

"Goodnight," he said, his voice finally loud and coherent.

Thank you for the request! Genya is such a cutie. I hope it was obvious enough that he was blushing the whole time and reader was just mistakenly thinking he was sick.

[37googolplex]

Alright, Rise April and Donnie mean SO much to me and it’s not even FUNNY. They’ve always been my top two favorites since watching, and my resolve on liking them really only got stronger after watching Donnie v. Witch town. (Objectively the best episode, by the way, but I digress—) this is the perfect segue to discuss how Donnie v. Witch Town was probably the BEST April/donnie centric episode in all of rise.

And although this is incredibly opinionated and biased, as this specific episode just so happens to be my FAVORITE episode, I still will put my cognitive bias aside and give you, the audience, solid evidence as to why this episode: Donnie V. Witch Town—is objectively the best episode in 1) explaining how and why Donnie acts the way he does, 2) demonstrating the strength of Donnie and Aprils friendship and Sibling-hood.

1) EXPLAINING WHY DONNIE IS THE WAY HE IS:

Okokok. So. Without a doubt, this is tumblr, and therefore, technically, I DONT need to explain Donnie’s autistic coding. But I still will because I for one am autistic and seeing such good rep makes me so happy that I just NEED to talk about it 24/7. If this is getting repetitive you can skip ahead. But if you don’t, this is some important foresight that changes the theme of Donnie V. Witch Town substantially, even though it may not seem like it. But I will make it quick so I can get to my main point: Donnie is Autistic. His coding is very prevalent and obvious, and saying he ISNT is autistic erasure. Donnie infodumps when he gets the chance to about his inventions, interests, or otherwise, and often gets hyperfixations very easily. (FAB spray, his dubbed “speech mode” from Leo, basically the entirety of Donnie’s gifts episode (which plays a lot heavily into Donnie v witch town just you wait), atomic lass, purple game). Donnie also has a so-called “monotonous” voice and has a limited tonal range. He isn’t very good with displaying or understanding emotions, especially when it comes to other peoples emotions, (like when Mikey was crying over Mike Tony’s pizzeria closing down, and Donnie saying “now that we’ve all moved on-“ mere seconds after explaining why he never liked Mike Tony’s. And then later saying “I WAS ONLY PRETENDING TO BE SAD WHEN IT HAPPENED TO MIKEY BUT NOW THAT IT HAPPENED TO ME, I HURT” when his favorite closes down too) despite this despite this (one off gag) however, Donnie isn't an emotional brick wall and understands negative emotions and feelings. But because of his low empathy coding Donnie simply just can’t FEEL that. Donnie also has a multitude of sensory issues that are sprinkled in across the whole series (such as, flavorless juice, prioritizing comfort, the battle shell and the whole deal with his soft shell, AND THE RISE MOVIE. Iykyk.)

Now that all of us have either had a good refresher of what happened OR, contrarily, educated on the matter, let’s all go back to the episode of Donnie’s gifts. This episode is an extremely important one in context with Donnie V. Witch town, and totally changes the perspective of that episode (in my not so humble opinion) when watching it from that lens. If you recall properly, Donnie’s gifts was basically about Donnie, well, making his brother, gifts. That end up being more harmful than good.

However, A lot of people miss the intention of that episode. Donnie wasn’t being a pretentious a-hole just because he could be a pretentious a-hole. He didn’t make these devices that basically hamper his brothers more and call out their every mistake JUST to pick on them and make them feel bad. Absolutely NOT. His INTENTION with MAKING those devices—(albeit concerning)—was in good faith. He made those devices because he GENUINELY thought, wholeheartedly, that they would help. And of course this isn’t really an EXCUSE for making your brother a shock collar that sends a 4000 watt jolt through his body every time he says a one off pun, but rather an explanation for Donnie’s behavior. Donnie made those devices, because he loves his brothers, and he wants to help them. And yeaaah it didn’t really, BUT HE GENUINELY THOUGHT IT WOULD. He says, before presenting the gifts: “(these gifts) are a whole lot more personal and if you don’t like them I will just be crushed!”

But why, you ask, why on earth would Donnie think that making THOSE THINGS even help his brothers, and why on earth would they like them? (Or maybe you’re not even asking that. Hell if I know, I’m just a ND teen ranting on the internet. Let me obsess over mutant turtles in peace!) I’m glad you asked. This is because I FIRMLY believe that Donnie uses his tech in the sense that he created that tech for his brothers, which is, helping or aiding him and his weaknesses when it comes to situations. We know that out of the bunch, Donnie is objectively the weakest (not very sports oriented, has a traditionally defensive weapon than offensive, ((but do not misconstrue my words this does not mean he is WEAK just in comparison to his brothers he’s on the lower end of the strength spectrum.))) and his tech highly heightens his skills. It helps him be more agile, attack with more vantage points—hell, his (soft)shell alone is a negative variable, and you know what fixed that!? HIS TECH THATS WHAT! Because of this reliance on his tech he assumed that his brothers would need or want that same reliance or help, even though they cope with their own issues in very different ways. And of course Donnie’s tech to help his own issues isn’t literally physically harmful, but I genuinely just think that Donnie’s Gifts was just made this way for the slapstick humor. (Sometimes there isn’t a deeper meaning to things and it’s just what it is. Guys I know we’re all big over-analyzers but this is still a Nickelodeon cartoon sometimes it’s just goofy for the goofs. :P) however Donnie’s gifts was such an important episode to me because it showed me the biggest way Donnie shows his love: Acts of service and Gift Giving.

Donnie LOVES doing stuff for people. He goes the goddamn EXTRA MILE to show off what he did for others, what he made for them; what he’ll DO for them, he’s not good with words or physical touch but my boy will LITERALLY fly you to the moon and back while reciting what happened on the Apollo missions and the space race with 100% accuracy. And there is so much proof of this SO MUCH. (When he made the hazmat suits, when he tried to fix albearto by making him “dazzle”, donniepods, etc…) his love for others and how he shows it is totally entirely transactional. This is how HE does it. And better yet,(?) he likes this. He LIKES being the tech guy, the fixer upper, he likes being called on for help and his prodigious skill because it makes him seem useful and more than that LOVED, and this is what he wants and desires sooo badly. To be USEFUL.

See where this is going? :)

Segue to Donnie V. Witch town. April, his best friend, is not seeking out HIS HELP for a school project, despite the fact that she almost always does. Instead, April is seeking out the HELP OF WITCHES, and Donnie simply has to tag along and help her get help. Donnie literally questions this and April states that it’s because when he helps school projects can uh, go a bit overboard.

See the parallels between Donnie’s gifts and Donnie v. Witch town?

Donnie tries to help, ends up not going so well, and he ends up not even helping at all in the first place. Double whammy.

And assuming we’ve all WATCHED Donnie V. Witch town, this same cycle repeats again. ESPECIALLY with the worms, and just when his pretentiousness and need to be right and PROVEN better gets in the way. His self righteousness is also his biggest fault. And everything goes wrong and he just wanted to help. And yeah, Donnie V. Which town is different because his broken ego is at play but WHY is he taking this so personally? BECAUSE APRIL DIDNT ASK HIM FOR HELP. It further strengthens his negative self talk of being useful and usefulness. Since, objectively speaking, he shows his love quantitively, when April has no desire for him to help her; what good is he even for anymore?! HOW WILL APRIL EVER LIKE HIM AGAIN IF HE ISNT HELPFUL!!!! HOW!?? He set this standards and he can’t even hit them? What is he if not useful? And with the context of Donnie’s gifts and how he really, truly, just wishes to help others, Donnie v. Which town is honestly saddening. I was honestly on Donnie’s side the whole time. Fuck those witches dude. And yes, what he did was bad. He should have been more open minded, and he shouldn’t have kinda messed up the entire witch tradition, and NO I am not making excuses here. But you must also remember that this is a teenager. He’s literally just a kid, and nevertheless from his perspective it’s honestly a betrayal. Again not an excuse but rather an explanation. Yes he fucked up but WHY? And the whole conversation with April really pushes it. “Because I’m the science guy—If mystic powers can do everything I can but better, then why would you guys even need me?”

Why would they *NEED* him.

Why, if mystic powers, can do it better—why would they NEED him.

It’s always a NEED for Donnie. He doesn’t quite seem to understand that mystic powers are a tool. And he is HE. He isn’t replaceable, but he thinks he is because there’s something more efficient than he is. He, essentially, sees himself like a tool, which is a mantra many autistic people have, including me. And although I joke about that line a lot it’s actually a really heartbreaking line. And if you guys see the scrapped storyboard..well.. why don’t I just show you…

“Solving problems with my tech is ALL IM GOOD FOR.”

“When you chose magic instead of me, I got scared, …”

Ouch.

This storyboard is infinitely more raw and personal and honestly I’m upset they didn’t go with it. If this doesn’t show you how deeply this matters to Donnie—how personal it is to him that people ask him to help them I DONT KNOW WHAT WILL.

Donnie is the way he is because it all builds up to his deepest insecurities, that people love him because he’s useful to them, and he goes and searches for validation and appreciation like a vulture looking for a carcass. He is so fucking desperate for a hint of being useful that he will throw everything he has to prove it. ((I’ll also do an analysis of relating this to the purple dragons episode because, albeit less angsty or obvious, these themes are very prevalent there too.))

Thus, this concludes my first point on how Donnie Vs. Witch town is the BEST episode to point out how Donnie’s insecurities truly affect him in every way shape and form, and how it really makes him who he is and why he acts the way he acts. It’s all out of the desire, the need to be needed. Next up: April’s response and how it shows their deep connection and how it’s just. So amazing. This half is more opinionated but I digress .

2) demonstrating the strength of Donnie and Aprils friendship and Sibling-hood!!!

Aprils response to this is equally as important. Aprils response is actually BEAUTIFUL.

“Donnie, how could you say that!? You’re not important to me because of your tech or science, you’re important to me because of YOU.”

That. Is by far. The best response you could POSSIBLY EVER GIVE. And her sentence is really self explanatory. Donnie doesn’t see her as a tool, or measures the extent of their friendship by what she brings to the table so why should she? Or, rather, why should Donnie measure that for himself?

She loves him because he’s HIM. Because he’s a nerdy loveable dork that’s passionate about what he loves. Because he loves HER. This is also the most vulnerable Donnie has ever been with somebody, and it’s with April.

“We do things better as a team,” AND APRILS RIGHT!!!! She’s his older sister. She’s his pal, Buddy, ride or die, and it’s—just—this whole Situation, their whole friendship, and this whole arc in Donnie v witch town means SO much to me. I really just realized how opinionated this second part is but let me be. And unfortunately I’ve reached the god forsaken image limit but Aprils further discussion in the storyboard of Donnie v. witch town also just further pushes how close and comfortable they are with each other. Basically, April says:

“Magic and science are just tools, it’s how you choose to use them that matters. And you choose to help people.”

MY FUCKING HEART DUDE. Agh. Shattered. “You chose to help people.”

I feel like it’s that line that really just pushes it for me. YOU CHOOSE TO HELP PEOPLE DONNIE DONT YOU SEE? ITS YOUR INTENT THAT MATTERS. And I’ll say this over and over and over again but intent means so much when it comes to things. April, using this line, doesn’t entirely dismiss what Donnie feels and says and does. But rather, puts a healthier perspective on his behaviors and needs to be “useful.” Shes basically saying: “you try to do what’s right, and that’s what matters.”

I love April. SO MUCH. She is such a good friend and sister and supporter, and honestly I wish I had someone like her growing up. Again I really wish they went with the storyboards because it’s so much more personal and touching than what happened. #aprilsweep.

Aprils support for Donnie (as well as his brothers) is unconditional. This is also observed in other Donnie and April centric episodes, especially the purple satin jackets episode, where April does call Donnie to check on her code which he does so with much valiance, before he gets roped into the purple dragons and stuff—and then at the end, when Donnie defeatedly talks about how he just couldn’t be a part of them , April replies with: “it’s okay, you’ll always be part of the April O’Neil dorky pals for life club.” I wish we got more of rise because I would KILL for more Donnie n April centric episodes.

Anywho, have a happy thanksgiving guys. Make sure to tell your autistic friend that it doesn’t matter if mystic powers are better than them or not. Watch tmnt and listen to stomu yamashta. Thank you and goodnight.

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Mary L. Trump at The Good in Us Substack:

Normally, my issue with the corporate media is their failure to shine a light on stories that matter. But in this case, it seems some segments of the corporate media, primarily Fox, is hellbent on helping Donald interfere with his trial through jury intimidation. It’s a disturbing reality that we must confront. Last night, Donald Trump posted the following on social media: “They are catching undercover liberal activists lying to the judge,” Jesse Watters.

Lawyers and legal analysts like Ryan Goodman and Andrew Weissman made it clear that this was a serious breach, the most serious to date, of Judge Merchan’s gag order – one that should be dressed immediately.  The fact that Donald was quoting somebody else is irrelevant. This seemed to be a blatant case of jury tampering, especially since, at the time of this was posted, five jurors and all six alternates remained to be chosen. I fully expected today’s proceedings to begin with the judge announcing that the so-called Sandoval hearing, which he originally scheduled, would be held today before any other court business. This seemed to be a reasonable assumption considering the purpose of that hearing was so the judge can rule on the prosecution’s contention that Donald should be held in contempt and sanctioned accordingly.

Juror Number 2 dismissed

It’s not uncommon for a juror to be chosen and subsequently let go during the selection process. That was the case with Juror Four after the prosecution discovered the man may have been untruthful in some of his answers. Juror Two’s circumstances were different. She was excused after telling the court that she’d become concerned that her identity might be discovered after her family and  friends questioned her about her possible involvement in the trial following media coverage. The fact that the judge felt the need to keep the identities of jurors anonymous is a damning indictment of the criminal defendant. And clearly the jurors understand the inherent danger of being seated on this jury. 

To put this in perspective, my friend and former U.S. Attorney, Joyce White Vance explained, “Typically, you would only see that happen in a case involving violent organized crime.” Following the juror’s feedback, Judge Merchan reprimanded the press for reporting far too much information about the jurors. [Out of an abundance of caution, I deleted the section about the jurors from last night’s post.]

[...] In a disturbing display of media influence, Fox host Jesse Watters went through the list of jurors, with identifying characteristics like employment, gender, place of residence, and commented on each one. 

Watters then singled out any jurors who didn’t align with his idea of what a juror should be (pro-Donald) and cast doubt on their ability to be fair and impartial. This is not just unethical, it’s dangerous. Fox, on Donald’s behalf, is actively helping Donald create an atmosphere of fear among the jurors. In a just world, Watters would be fired for his irresponsible behavior, but Fox has no interest in justice. Consider what Josh Kovensky of Talking Points Memo, pointed out: “Instead of operating within the process of jury selection, which assumes that people are capable of setting aside whatever political beliefs or biases they may have in order to render a good faith judgment on the evidence, it casts the assumptions underlying that process as Trump’s enemy to be defeated, implying that the jurors themselves are incapable of both being impartial in their judgment of him and participating in a political system in which he is a main actor.”

[...]

Donald amplifies Fox, scares a juror, and breaks his gag order

So far, here’s the pattern: A Fox personality attacks the judge or jury, and then Donald shares it on Truth Social as a way to give himself plausible deniability: He can distance himself from the quote by saying it doesn’t represent what he actually believes. This is exactly what he did last night when he quoted Jesse Watters. Regardless of Donald’s attempts to pretend otherwise, this is a clear violation of his gag order and shows a blatant disregard for the legal process. He needs to be punished or this will spiral out of control quickly. We’re already seeing that his disrespectful behavior in the courtroom and flouting of norms — like refusing to stand when the prospective jurors enter the room or using his phone when nobody else is —has already gone too far. The gag order was imposed to prevent Donald from publicly speaking about witnesses, jurors, court staff and their families outside of the courtroom. Donald has run out of chances and his downfall will be of his own making.

[...]

Judge Merchan must lay the smackdown on Donald

Prosecutors have accused Donald of violating the court-imposed gag order SEVEN times since the commencement of the trial. And they will have a chance to make the case for Donald to be held accountable during a hearing next week. They have pointed to public statements and social media posts made by Donald over the past few days as evidence of these violations. They have described the situation as “ridiculous” and have called for it to stop, expressing frustration over Donald’s repeated breaches of the order. Former federal prosecutor Shannon Wu has now called on Merchan to strengthen the gag order to any communication about the trial beyond Donald saying he’s innocent and plans to defend himself. At the very least, Judge Merchan needs to be unequivocal in telling Donald and defense counsel that enough is enough. The repeated violations of the gag order and Donald’s attempts to interfere with the trial warrant serious repercussions. He cannot keep getting away with it.

Mary L. Trump writes in her Substack on how right-wing media outlets (esp. Fox's Jesse Watters) and Donald Trump are conducting witness tampering on the jury for the Trump falsification of business records trial. Trump Trial

[venusintheblindspots-blog]

Viserys Targaryen Rant Part 2

Rhaenyra, the King’s Heir

After episode eight of House of the Dragon aired, there were a lot of people cheering on Viserys for his support of Rhaenyra’s claim.

I will admit, the scene was heartwarming to me at first,- a frail old man on the brink of death, getting up solely to defend his daughter in front of a court that may have had grievances with her being a female-heir. That kind of fatherly support, means a lot in a misogynistic society like Westeros. But, what does that moment of support truly mean for a man that had not performed his duties as a father?

Let us refer back to episode one. This scene in particular:

Aemma expresses to Viserys that she does not wish to have another pregnancy after the birth of the child she’s pregnant with.

According to Fire and Blood, Viserys and Aemma married when she was eleven years old. Their marriage was not consummated until two years later, when Aemma had flowered. Aemma in both Fire and Blood and House of the Dragon would go on to suffer multiple miscarriages, that some of Maesters suspected were due to her being bed too young.

Refocusing on the scene above, Aemma tells Viserys that Rhaenyra suspects that the unborn child might be a girl. Viserys is insistent that it is a boy.

In episode one, Rhaenyra was fifteen years old. If she were male, Viserys would have started preparing her as his heir,- taking her to council meetings, send her as a messenger, etc. But he doesn’t, because he wanted a male heir. He spent almost two decades brutalizing his wife and ultimately killing her for a son. He spent almost two decades neglecting his daughter and putting her aside because he wanted a son.

Aegon, Second of his Name

In the third episode of House of the Dragon, we meet Aegon, the first child between Alicent and Viserys.

For a majority of the episode, Aegon is being celebrated as it’s his name day, and he’s the king’s first born son. The King now having son would usually signal a change in succession, since for most of Westeros, sons inherit over daughters. However, by the end of the episode, Viserys’ position does not change: Rhaenyra is his rightful heir.

So what happens to Aegon, the long-awaited son?

Let’s look at some word from the screenwriter, Ryan Condal:

"Aegon is a great example of neglect and indulgence," Condal says. "This is the medieval version of the millionaire's prodigal son. His mother was 15, and his father never paid any attention to him. His father deeply, deeply loved Aemma and Rhaenyra and was [only] having [more] kids to carry on the line. He really didn't want Aegon — he wanted Baelon, the son that killed his first wife."

When we first meet Aegon he was being celebrated. After hoping for a boy for years, Viserys finally got a male heir.

We don’t get any scenes of his early childhood but we see Aegon again when he’s a teenager. He’s disinterested in most things, he’s blunt, he teases, he masturbates by the window sill, but most of all, he’s disinterested and lackadaisical.

After another time skip, we see Aegon again. He’s still disinterested in most things, he drinks, he’s a rapist, and is overall not really a good person.

Within the fandom, most of the blame for the way Aegon has turned out has been directed to Alicent.

Now, Alicent being a child-bride does not excuse all of her actions, but it does explain a lot of them.

In scene where Alicent speaks with Dyana, I interpreted her reaction as one filled with shame, frustration and disappointment. All of the traits I used to describe Aegon, can be applied to Viserys. Aegon is his father’s mirror and Alicent is the only one who is trying to break it. Immediately after meeting with Dyana, she confronts Aegon, and disowns him(well,not really). Were her methods rash? Yes, it was rash and abusive, but who else was checking him? Where was Viserys during his formative years to correct this behavior?

I do not condone any of his actions, but I grieve the person Aegon could’ve been if Viserys had not been his father.

Aemond, the Kinslayer

I’d reckon that Aemond’s birth wasn’t quite the spectacle that Aegon’s was, he’s the second son, who inherits nothing.

When we first meet Aemond, he’s miserable. He has a very low self esteem mostly due to all of his peers having dragon, while he doesn’t. His father, Viserys was the last mount of Balerion, the Black Dread. Balerion represents the strength and history of House Targaryen in Westeros. He’s the last dragon to have come from Old Valyria, and his first rider was the man who united Westeros under one crown, Aegon the Conqueror. Viserys took Balerion on one ride, and the old dragon died shortly after. He spent all of his rule as a Targaryen king without a dragon. We get no indication that he had negative feelings about not being a dragon rider, in fact, he finds power in the dreams and prophecies of Targaryens and Old Valyria, than the man power of dragons. Had he been around to salvage any feelings of unworthiness Aemond felt when his egg didn’t hatch, or when the riderless dragons in the dragon pit rejected him, Aemond would’ve been less resentful about not having one.

So in this scene here, where he claims Vhagar, and rides her for the first time, it’s a moment of legitimacy for him. He’s a Targaryen, with a dragon. He fits in with his siblings and his nephews, finally.

His claiming of Vhagar came with a price, his eye. I’m not going to delve into the mishap that took place between him, the Dragon twins and the Strong boys, because they were children. Baela and Rhaena had all right to be angry about Aemond claiming Vhagar, Luke had all right to defend his brother, Aemond had all right to react to their insults. Was he a bit insensitive ? Yes, but he’s a kid. They’re all children. They do not have the same awareness and consideration adults should have.

The aftermath of that scene is a confrontation between Rhaenyra and Alicent.

There has been a lot of discourse about this scene in particular, but Emma D’arcy and Olivia Cooke’s is the one I resonate with the most :

ED: It’s such an interesting scene, right? My sympathy is fully with Alicent. On the page I was like, Well, she’s fucking right.

OC: Someone’s lost an eye.

ED: Someone’s lost an eye! I’m so amazed every time Paddy basically tells you to let it go. Simultaneously, Rhaenyra is playing quite a basic game: Lie hard, do not back down, and weaponize this word “treason.”

OC: Alicent’s being gaslit massively and she fucking explodes. In friendships or relationships, when it gets to the point where you feel you’re going mad, there’s no route out other than complete volcanic annihilation.

ED: There is something resentfully delicious in it for Rhaenyra, in that she so rarely gets definitively the backing of her father. Early on, she loses both her best friend and her father because they get married. These moments where she gets publicly chosen, and chosen instead of you — there’s a really violent quality of vengeance for her.

No Alicent should not have asked for a five year old’s eye. But her son, has just lost one. And his father, is more focused on the fact that his grandchildren were called bastards. Now I’m not discounting the fact that Westeros discriminates against bastards, but that could have been addressed afterwards. Viserys spent the entire scene promising his court that they’d lose a tongue for even uttering a word about his grandsons, while his son is sitting in a chair with his eye in front him on a plate. Aemond now has to learn how to maneuver around with one of his five senses damaged. (Honestly, I think a few scenes with Aemond struggling a bit with this would’ve been great).

If Viserys had just acknowledged Aemond’s detriment in that scene, maybe give him some reassurance, comfort, literally anything, he wouldn’t have remained vengeful years after the incident.

Helaena, the Dragon Dreamer

The parenting of Helaena is the best representation of Viserys and Alicent’s dynamics with their kids,- Alicent struggling to connect with her child, while Viserys the parent who would’ve had a better shot at connection is nowhere to be found.

Helaena has correctly predicted several events in House of the Dragon so far, the loss of Aemond’s eye being the price of his dragon, Meleys bursting from beneath the dragon pit, and the Dance of the Dragons. The thing is, no one in universe is paying her any mind. The weight of prophecies in ASOIAF is a topic that George likes to explore, and he’s given us a few tragic characters like Rhaegar, who met their doom by interpreting a prophecy ‘incorrectly’.

Helaena is a dragon dreamer. She’s also a dragon rider, but we have no scenes with her on Dreamfyre. She represents the more mystical part of House Targaryen, as she possesses the power that prevented them from the Doom. Yet her father, who is a deeply interested in these aspects of being Targaryen, doesn’t speak to her about these things.

If Viserys had made an attempt to understand or simply bond with his daughter, none of the atrocities his family faced would have happened the way it did.

My sympathy for Team Green stems from the fact that literally every single one of them would’ve been way better people if not for Viserys.

[10blue10]

HTTYD continuity: Are there two Hiccups?

First of all, thank you for all the likes and reblogs on my ‘there are two Hiccups’ post. It’s seriously blowing my mind how popular it is. So, if you read it and thought “what? There are two Hiccups?”

Well, no… but actually yes. I wasn’t being literal (I know, on the reading comprehension website? Shame on me), but the thing is, I’m actually kind of right? Just look at these examples from the wiki:

The entire series is based on the six main Dragon Riders moving away from Berk for over a year. However, in commentary, Dean DeBlois has said that they all lived on Berk between the first two films. The second film’s Art Book elaborates on this saying that they all had responsibilities on Berk which prevented them from leaving.

In other words, as far as Dean is concerned, RTTE never happened.

The series also focuses on the six main Dragon Riders exploring lands outside the Archipelago together, while both Dean and the second film’s Art Book state that only Hiccup and Astrid ventured outside the Archipelago as they were the ones drawing up Hiccup's map. The other four stayed much closer to Berk.

Again, we have a direct contradiction between what Dean claims happened pre-HTTYD2 in his (head)canon, and what we see in RTTE.

Numerous other "dragon riders" are introduced throughout the series, when the second and third films themselves stress how Berk is the only community who rides dragons. Dean elaborated on this during a convention panel explaining that that’s why Eret and Drago were so alarmed when seeing Vikings riding on dragons, and why Eret assumed Valka was one of them.

In an interview with the series creators Art Brown and Douglas Sloan, it was mentioned that the show was originally meant to have 4 seasons, spread out over the span of a year and a half, leading up to the second film. Following the many clues and mentions regarding the passage of time within the story, the last 7 episodes of season 4 were supposed to have happened during the same summer as the film. However, when seasons 5 and 6 were ordered into production, the show writers had to carry on with the timeline they had set up, which inevitably lead to the series continuing into negative time; going past the second film.

In other words, the last two seasons of RTTE aren’t meant to take place before HTTYD2 - they take place after it. If there’s better proof that RTTE is on its own separate timeline, I don’t know what that is.

The majority of film characters are portrayed severely out-of-character in the series compared to the films and film-verse media; most arguably Hiccup and Astrid. Aside from having similar appearance and even voices, their personalities and behaviors in the series portray them as drastically different people than their film counterparts.

I would argue that they are more in character during RTTE, especially Snotlout, the twins and Fishlegs. Isn’t it amazing what being fleshed out characters instead of comic relief can do? But there you have it. RTTE!Hiccup is portrayed as drastically different to his film counterpart. When push comes to shove, there are two Hiccups.

Or, you know, three, if we count the one from the books 😂.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to lamenting the fact we live in the timeline where THW exists and not the timeline where the writers of RTTE were allowed to make a full length conclusion movie.