#all cats are grey in the caves ( the judge )

[queen-of-writing-bad-things]

Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 5

Episode 34: Cave The Date (SMUT)

Season 5 Masterlist

*hola amigos. do I have smut for you? yes. it's a bit further down, and ngl, I really enjoyed writing it. this is the last episode I love before what I call the final stretch because, omg we're getting so close to the end. Is anyone else feeling emotional? I am. 

~The Man Cave~

There was never much time for thinking in the Man Cave. Cerebral moments were limited when your boss is a hardheaded, dense - mentally and physically - shallow man-child. 

Thinking made Ray's head hurt, so he banned it. Any clever stuff became clandestine and secret because if the hero didn't understand it, he didn't want to know. It made him feel stupid, which was bad news for The Smarties he surrounded himself with. 

Schwoz, Charlotte and (y/n) found themselves dumbing everything down around the man, hoping he wouldn't criticise them for stinking up the place with their brain cells and logic. Well, mainly Schwoz and Charlotte. For unknown reasons, (y/n) never had many problems with Ray, even though it was crystal clear to her fellow thinkers. He fancied her - a distinct advantage. 

But when the cat is away, the mice will play, so when Ray, Jasper and Henry stepped outside the building to run a few errands, the trio jumped at the chance to be intelligent in peace. 

With some elegant classical music playing in the background, Charlotte caught up on her reading at the supercomputer - Nuclear Physics for Smarties, borrowed from her friend. Just some light reading to test her little grey cells whilst Schwoz settled into the couch for a chess game against himself. Apparently, he liked the challenge, although the girls couldn't work out how it was enjoyable when he made every move. 

But (y/n) didn't care. It was his downtime; he could do what he wanted, much like how she filled the emptiness in her heart from Ray's absence with her favourite pastime. Mathematics. 

Oh, she loved it. The purest field of study, where she used nothing but time, logic, and a few memorised formulas to work out an annual budget for Junk-N-Stuff. Lost in the numbers, she felt complete, knowing they wouldn't cheat her because they were facts. Pure and simple. And she liked things simple. 

"I will not see that coming..." Schwoz chuckled throatily as he moved a red knight and flipped the board. The girls ignored him mostly, too enthralled with their afternoon tea, page-turning or writing on a chalkboard to care when he sipped his tea, only to spit it out again dramatically. He really didn't see it coming. 

"Do you ever get bored playing chess with yourself?" Charlotte asked dryly, not bothering to look over her shoulder, through the thin frames on the bridge of her nose, to watch how he played. 

"No, I don't, but sometimes, I do."

"You're a strange man, Schwoz," (y/n) smiled, gently shaking her head as she worked through her long division. For some reason, Junk-N-Stuff had a lot of expenditure that month, resulting in many numbers zipping around her head as she tried to budget it all. She'd have to tell her doofus to stop buying so many Pet Rocks. 

"Ughhhhh!" Charlotte suddenly groaned as she read a new text on her phone, and judging by her reaction, it was bad news. 

"The guys are coming back," she sighed, instantly standing up because that meant their R&R was over. Silencing the music, she hurried to an industrial-strength shredder, dropping her book in it since Ray couldn't find any evidence of people being smart - he'd hit the roof. However, Schwoz wasn't ready to stop playing, even when he knew how his boss would react. 

"Why did you do that? I hadn't read that book yet!" (y/n) whined, lamenting the loss as the book turned into confetti--unreadable and worthy of nothing but the trash. She didn't understand, but that was because she had privileges, being Ray's beloved sweet girl. He turned into a puddle of mush when she got all brainy, yet he got crabby the minute they started being the same. 

"Ray gets mad whenever people do smart stuff in front of him!" Charlotte told her, snatching the glasses from her face and throwing them in, too, making (y/n) cringe as the glass was ground into shards. 

"I was teaching him about applied thermodynamics last week, and he didn't get mad. If anything, he just had this strange look on his face..." 

"That's because you're (y/n/n)! He'd never get mad at you! When you do smart stuff, he thinks you're hot!" The girl groaned, dashing around the perplexed woman to try and destroy any evidence. 

Her friend stood fast, refusing to let her rub out her hard work, especially since she wasn't done with her calculations yet, so Charlotte focused on Schwoz instead. It was for his own good. 

"Gimme the chess board!"

"But I've got myself right where I want me!" The genius whined, not wanting to give up when he was close to checkmate. 

"You'll get yourself next time!" She told him sternly, making Schwoz finally hand over the board. It went in the shredder, too, turning it into nothing but chunks of cardboard and plastic as they removed any of the extra paraphernalia. 

"Where were they anyway?"

"They went to throw melons at that abandoned house that weirdos throw melons at," (y/n) replied to the grumpy man whilst totting up some final figures, never taking her eyes off her chalkboard since she couldn't lose her place now. 

"Without me?! But I've been saving melons for months!" Schwoz grumbled, forlornly looking at his collection sitting by the supercomputer. Schwoz's Throwin' Melons filled an entire box and had been left there for so long that they'd begun to soften and turn smelly, flies gathering around the fermenting flesh, much to (y/n)'s disdain. 

"Oh, yeah, I've been meaning to say something about that. Get those shifted to your room before I throw them out," the heroine told him sternly, finally turning around since she meant business. Those melons were stinking up her Man Cave, not to mention leaking foul juice she was forever mopping up. 

"They should be back soon," Charlotte said, returning to the news that Henry, Jasper, and Ray were on their way home, which sparked a flicker of excitement in (y/n)'s heart at the thought of seeing her lover again. 

"I just asked them to swing by my house and pick up my phone charger on the way back."

"You sent Ray, Henry, and Jasper to your house with no adult supervision?!" Schwoz gasped in horror, unable to think of the mischief the boys could get up to with no one responsible watching their every move. 

"Yeah, what's the problem?" Charlotte asked, thinking he was overreacting. Sure, the lads played a few pranks and got into trouble in the past, but he made it sound like everything they touched turned to disaster. However, even (y/n) looked apprehensive, pausing her scratching on the board. 

"Charlotte, you know I love my boys, but dear God, they can't be left alone without some ensuing chaos," she giggled, not knowing the genuine chaos about to tumble into the room. Speak of the devil, and he will appear...with two teenagers tagging along. 

The elevator opened, and Ray, Henry and Jasper stepped out, looking like they'd had a wrestling session in a fire pit with a bear. Their clothes, skin and hair were torn and singed, covered in ash, yet they didn't seem to care about it, waltzing in like everything was perfectly normal. 

"Oh my god..." (y/n) breathed out, placing her chalk down as Ray looked her way and grinned. The pure joy on his face made her tummy flip, but the confusion spoiled it and worry that something had happened to him, meaning she wasn't as jumpy and puppy-like as usual. 

"Sweet girl! I'm back!" The man greeted his fiancée, bringing her into his arms after missing her for too long. (y/n) grumbled as the soot smeared across her clothes but gladly snuggled into him, wrapping her arms around his neck as they fell into the same old routine - melting into a long, gentle kiss. 

"Doofus, is everything okay? You look like you've been on a bonfire," the woman remarked once they pulled away - properly reunited. A faint whiff of smoke irritated her nose, deepening her worry, but Ray seemed distracted, and it was only when her gaze followed his that she realised he was staring at her budgeting. 

"Doofus?"

"You been doin' that math stuff again?" Ray asked in a deep, throaty voice, unable to tear his eyes away from the long list detailing expenses, necessary purchases, new stock, staff wages, profits, and utilities. His eyes darkened as he studied the completed numbers - way above what he could work out - and the chalk smudged on her hands, caught underneath her fingernails, and he knew.  

"Yeah, someone has to keep Junk-N-Stuff running," (y/n) chuckled, stroking his dirty face and rubbing some smut away with her thumb. Charlotte and Schwoz shared a look; this was precisely what they were talking about, noticing his hungry gaze and how in awe of his future wife he seemed. Astounded by everything she was. 

"That's hot," he grinned, holding her hips as he dipped his head and caught her in a more passionate kiss. Henry and Jasper chatted, giggling about something, but Charlotte felt like a lemon standing there. She'd sent them on a simple errand, but they still needed to do something. 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!"

"Hey!"

"What's up?"

"Hi!" The boys greeted her casually, facing her without any worries. Ray's arms hung loosely around (y/n)'s figure, unwilling to leave her alone after trekking all over town without her. Thanks to the dirt coating his body, her clothes were ruined, but she didn't mind, finding him too lovely to push away. 

"Did you go to my house?"

"Sure did."

"Oh, yeah."

"Walked right in," they replied, still passive and cheery in the face of her frustration. But Charlotte wasn't finished with them, too troubled by their scruffy, fire-damaged appearances to let it go. 

"So... What happened?"

"We got your phone charger..." Henry said slowly, his nervous grin wobbling as he debated whether to hand it over. Ultimately, he knew he had no choice, so he shakily gave it to his friend, who noted how dark and crispy it appeared. And when the plug hit her palm, it felt like lava - so scorching she had to drop it like a hot potato. 

"Aaah! Why is it hot?" She screeched, blowing on her burnt hand. 

"Because we pulled it out of the fire," Jasper replied, shrugging like his words were weightless, but they burdened Charlotte heavily. Even (y/n) gasped and leaned away from her doofus, staring up at him with wide, questioning eyes because it sounded serious, but he didn't seem phased. He appeared raring to go, desperate to get her alone - preferably naked. 

"You are welcome. Let's hit the showers," Ray ordered, done with the conversation since he stunk, felt grimy, and looked terrible. So, he cheekily slapped his sweet girl's ass, spurring her into walking quickly toward the showers behind the tubes, but Charlotte wasn't done with them. 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" She yelled after them, making them groan and complaining that her displeasure was predictable. Ray especially was annoyed, cursing the girl for being so silly when he'd not held his fiancée properly in, like... a whole hour. 

"Did you guys light my house on fire?" Charlotte asked slowly in a high-pitched voice as if she didn't want to believe it. What would her parents say?

"No, no, no, no!"

"Of course not!"

"I mean...yeah."

"Just the kitchen..." At first, they denied it, thinking she had nothing on them--innocent until proven guilty. But then, their golden hearts played out, or maybe the slaps to the backs of their heads from (y/n) made them spill. Perhaps they accidentally, not on purpose, caused a teeny, tiny fire at her place, but it was just an accident. 

"How could you guys light my kitchen on fire?!" She, however, didn't see it like that, clutching her head in despair. Fire damage wasn't something she could hide or explain easily. 

"Oh, this is gonna be good. Let me get some poopcorn," Schwoz exclaimed gleefully, dashing off to the auto-snacker like the boys hadn't ruined the poor girl's life. Hell, Henry was smiling; Jasper looked as vacant as usual, and Ray was prodding and poking (y/n) for her attention and affection. Like he was gonna get it. 

"Hey, you big doofus! What happened?!" She scolded him, slapping his pec through his burnt shirt, which made Ray pout at her. He never wanted to upset her, but the heroine felt extra protective of Charlotte - she had a big day ahead of her. 

"Okay, first of all, we couldn't find a light switch anywhere," Ray started, appealing to both girls with his best puppy eyes before the teens took over. 

"It was very dark."

"And kinda cold."

"I happened to have a flare on me," the man went on, earning a disappointed look from (y/n). She'd warned him about using those damn things, highlighting how dangerous and impractical they were, but Ray was fascinated--drawn them like a moth to the flame...or a child to matches. 

"Raymond, what have I said about playing with flares?!"

"But sweet girl, they're so cool!" Ray whined, shrinking slightly when she removed her hands from his neck and folded her arms. Why did she have to look so mad? It cracked his poor little heart and all over something as engaging as a flare. A tiny, harmless flare. 

"Oh, my god..." Charlotte sighed, rubbing her forehead as she felt a headache coming on.

"Show them!" Henry told his boss, believing a demonstration would quell the girls' fears. Of course, Ray had a spare tucked in his back pocket, which he happily pulled out as Schwoz came over with his box of popcorn and a shitty pair of 3D glasses. 

"No!" (y/n) exclaimed, trying to stop her doofus from lighting it, but once a doofus, always a doofus. Yanking the top off with his teeth, Ray ignited the flare, watching an orange fountain burst from the tip. It was meant to be a lifesaver for people lost at sea or needing rescue, but he thought they were adult playthings. 

"So, I had a flare in your kitchen..." he restarted, moving around the room, holding (y/n)'s hand, so where he went, she went too. 

"And then, we started exploring!"

"First thing we found was the curtains," Henry revealed, and he didn't need to say anymore. (y/n) could see it now; those three morons creeping around like thieves in the night, accidentally brushing the flare against the fabric and starting a blaze. 

"Well...the flare found them." 

"Those things went up fast!" The annoying thing was how uncaring they seemed, chuckling and grinning like a trio of hyenas like they had done nothing wrong. It infuriated Charlotte but also profoundly concerned her, so the woman went on the offensive when she looked at (y/n) with big, worried eyes - looking like they'd ripped her little heart to shreds. 

"Raymond, I could strangle you right now! Did you at least try to put it out?" She asked, stepping away from Ray and folding her arms. When she refused to be brought back into his embrace, the hero's smile quickly fell, and suddenly, he looked like a scolded little boy - much to Henry and Jasper's sniggers. 

"Yes!"

"Of course we did!" They insisted, nudging Ray as he sulked in the doghouse. The girl breathed a sigh of relief momentarily, hoping the damage would be minimal, but that was naïve. 

"But, um...you know that saying, fight fire with fire?"

"Yeah, that does not work. Let's hit the showers!" Ray nodded with Henry, waving the flare around since the light dazzled his gaze and captivated his attention. Leaving it there, he turned to the teens, keeping his eyes low as he glanced in (y/n)'s directions. He wanted to ask her to come, practically begging in his heart, but he'd fucked up. 

"Nobody's hitting the showers!" Charlotte screeched, her volume making them spin on their heels. Her voice was red and raw from the severity and intensity of the screaming, but it made them stop, so she didn't care.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa--what's your problem with showers, Charlotte?" Jasper asked offendedly as Ray licked his grubby palm and stubbed out the flare on his skin. The burning pain was fleeting, and his indestructibility meant he'd forgotten about it a few seconds later, yet his sweet girl still didn't like it, and it freaked her out. 

"Yeah, right? Let's hit the showers!"

"Doofus, come back here," (y/n) groaned, so they turned around again. Ray had a slight bounce in his step, doing what he was told with enthusiasm because he'd do anything for his fiancée, but the kids weren't so pleased. 

"You guys, what about my kitchen?!"

"Again, her with the kitchen!"

"I'll take care of it! You'll have a new kitchen in six to eight weeks! Here. Take a look at these cabinet samples," Schwoz suddenly swooped in, offering the guys a saving grace with his handiness for DIY. He was subtle and efficient, tidy and quick, so he'd get it fixed in a reasonable period and even offer her a choice of woods, ranging from orange tones to oaken hues. 

"We could do oak or maybe mahogany--" he said as he gestured to the wooden rectangle cutouts on an interior decorating board, but Charlotte didn't care, not about new kitchen cabinets or Jasper's impressed "ooooh". 

"I don't need a new kitchen in six to eight weeks. I need a kitchen today!" She exclaimed, forgetting how to explain the mess to her parents because she'd made other plans. Much more paramount plans that couldn't be spoiled. 

"Why?"

"Yeah, what's your deal?" The boys asked, thinking they could lie to Mr and Mrs Page, possibly mess with their memories a little, and everything would be okay. 

However, Ray glanced at his sweet girl's face and thought she looked odd. Not odd--definitely still utterly beautiful--but...dopey. She had a stupid smile and bundles of energy as she squirmed on the spot. 

"Eeeeeee! Tell them, tell them, tell them, tell them, tell them!" (y/n) squealed, suddenly bouncing up and down like a child on sugar. 

She clung to Charlotte's arm, excitedly shaking the girl in an endearing sight that made Ray melt, and he wondered what made his precious girl so happy. The only things that got her like that were romance movies, romance novels, blueberry muffins, dogs, and him. 

"Okay, okay, (y/n/n)! The big deal is that I have a date tonight with Jack Swagger, and I was gonna make him dinner at my house!" She snapped, glaring at the boys as (y/n) went into a meltdown. 

So that was it - romance. She loved stuff like that, all the mushy, lovey-dovey crap, whether it was on TV or in real life, and now, Charlotte had a date. With a boy. For the first time in forever. And she seemed to really like this boy. 

"Oh, my baby! Going on a date! I'm so proud!" The heroine sobbed, grabbing the girl, hugging her tightly, and petting her head. It only seemed like yesterday that she was just a little girl, eager and willing to work and begging Captain Man to give her a job. Now, she was nearing womanhood, and it made her friend broody. 

"Wait, you know Jack Swagger?"

"International music superstar Jack Swagger?" Jasper and Henry asked over (y/n)'s squeals. They were shocked that their friend knew Jack Swagger. He was some celebrity or something, too young for the older couple to know, but for young people, he was a dashing heartthrob. 

"Youngest person to win a Grammy, Jack Swagger?" Even Schwoz knew who he was, but since they were more than happy with each other, Ray and (y/n) still didn't know who he was. Instead, the hero was more concerned with the fact that his helper was dating - something she'd never really shown an interest in. 

"You have a date?" That earned him a dry look from his sweet girl, who was heavily invested in that night. He thought they were the only ones loving it up in these parts, but apparently not. 

"Yes, doofus, she does. And yes, it's with this Jack Swagger boy," (y/n) told him, releasing Charlotte now the wave of excitement had passed, and she walked over to his side. She was still mad about the accidental fire, but all this talk of dating and courtship made her feel gooey and tender - reminders of the butterflies that never left. 

"How do you know Jack Swagger?" Jasper asked after a lot of dithering, pressing his palms together and doing a lot of squatting. It looked bizarre, not that the couple behind him noticed as they canoodled and fawned over each other. 

"We went to camp together, like ten years ago, back when he was Jack Swaggowittz," Charlotte replied, making Ray chuckle in his fiancée's ear at the funny name. Luckily, he was much cooler than that, so he bagged himself the best girl in the world, but Henry and Jasper were too entrained in their friend's story. 

"Okay, how did we not know this until now?!"

"I've told you guys like a million times. You guys just never listen to me," the girl argued, recalling plenty of momenta when she told them about her childhood pal-turned-celeb, but the boys were insistent. If she had told them about Jack Swagger, they'd have remembered. 

"I don't believe you."

"I don't remember that," they argued, but the girl quickly pointed out when they played Truth or Flare in Junk-N-Stuff; she told them then. She chose to tell a truth, so she confessed that the first person she ever kissed was Jack when they were at camp. It wasn't her fault they were so enthralled with the flare that they didn't register the information. 

"Okay, fine. You told us one time," Henry shrugged, admitting that they should've been a little more attentive, but Charlotte wasn't done. She quickly remembered another instance when they didn't bother to pay attention to her - that time at Henry's house. 

They were hanging out whilst the boys enjoyed some snacks, and (y/n) waited with bristling hairs on her nape at the thought of Mrs Hart coming home when a ping went off on her phone. It was a text from Jack about their date after the Swellview Bowl, but they didn't know that because they got distracted by an ice cream van and fell over. She couldn't make this shit up. 

"Okay, so you mentioned it twice."

"Y'know, scientists say that you have to hear something three times to be legally remembered--" Jasper and Henry scoffed as Ray stroked his pretty girl's hair, fascinated by soft, shiny and sweet-smelling it was, but he still agreed with them, even as the young girl fought back. 

The final reminder was the finishing blow. They couldn't excuse this one since it happened less than an hour ago when she phoned them to ask if they could retrieve the phone charger from her house. She even told them about the phantom light switch, and they said they could handle it. Apparently not. 

"Wow... was that today?" Henry questioned, his mind a little fuzzy, but now that he thought about it, he could faintly recollect a phone call and the sound of (y/n) screeching in the background at the mention of this important date. 

"That was an hour ago," the woman deadpanned, pulling away from her doofus dryly to look at the boy. 

"An hour ago today?" He looked even more confused, so she rolled her eyes and shook her head, noting how she should probably call him a doofus too. Meanwhile, Ray was rubbing along her hips, up her back, and arms, needy for her attention whilst his helpers squabbled. 

"And I can think of seven more times I've told you guys," Charlotte moved on, highlighting that she was right and they were wrong, but the boys argued there wasn't enough time in the day for her to retell every example. So, she moved on, deeming tonight more important than their past indifference. 

"Well, Jack was supposed to come to my house and have dinner tonight, but now, I can't make him dinner!"

"Why not? We got your phone charger," Ray pointed out, showing her the slightly burnt cable, but his smooth, calm attitude didn't go down well with his lover, who folded her arms and became stern again when he played dumb. 

"Doofus, you burned her kitchen down! How is she meant to cook dinner when the place is burnt out?!" (y/n) chastised him as the girl carefully took the charger from him. 

If the man felt bad when his precious girl snapped at him, it was nothing compared to the pain of being whipped with the wire. Charlotte held nothing back, assaulting her boss with a vengeance because she'd probably have to cancel now.

"Ow--ow--ow!" Ray whined as she whacked him, bringing his sweet girl into his arms and curling around her so his shoulder took the brunt. He didn't want her hurt but didn't see why he had to. An overreaction, if you asked him. 

"Ow!--Just take him to that restaurant, Sotto Voce. Nice place. Romantic. Kitchen not burned. Remember the date we had there last month, sweet girl?" He suggested, wiggling his eyebrows at (y/n) to try and sneak back into her good books with the memory of that night.

"Even I'll admit it's a nice restaurant. Definitely puts you in the right mood," his love replied suggestively, making him chuckle and squeeze her tight. She'd agree that it was wonderful, both before and after, once they made it home, but Charlotte had already thought of somewhere else.

"We tried that. He's too famous, and he gets mobbed wherever he goes."

"Yeah, I saw him at the dentist once--tackled him! Turns out, different guy," Schwoz said, earning a few confused glances, but they understood his meaning. Jack Swagger was a celebrity, so all the fans trailing behind him often forgot he was also a very human young man. 

"So, you guys can only have dates at your house?" Henry asked, leaning on his best friend as he dug deeper into the mystery of Charlotte's secret boyfriend. 

"Or secret restaurants. Like, one time, in New York, he took me to this cool underground spot below a fake laundromat," she replied casually, only to spark inspiration in Jasper, who'd been racking what brains he had for a way to help his friend, and he'd finally come up with something. 

"I got it!" He yelled, making everyone jump. "We need some place to turn into a fake restaurant, okay? Some place nobody knows about? Somewhere underground? I say we make a fake restaurant in...Henry's house!"

"Yes!"

"No!" Ray loved that idea, but the kid quickly shot it down. (y/n) too seemed reluctant, especially when her fiancé jumped at the chance to enter the home where she knew a certain golden-haired beauty lived. Really, she had no right to feel jealous and apprehensive because she had no proof of Ray being unfaithful, interested or enamoured, but it was better to be safe than sorry. Avoiding Henry's house seemed like the better idea. 

"Why not?" The man asked, sounding slightly disappointed, making the woman's tummy simmer with nerves as to what that could mean. 

"There's a hawk in my house."

"A what? How the hell did that happen?" (y/n) asked, stamping down her assumptions and trying to sound cheerful. He was her doofus - he probably just wanted to get out of the Man Cave for a while, and thankfully, it sounded like something peculiar was going down at the boy's house. 

"That's what Piper said," Henry shrugged, telling them how dangerous the bird was with its distrust for his dad. It shredded anyone who pissed it off, meaning the house was on lockdown, with only his mom able to gain entry. 

"I may need to crash here 'til the hawk leaves."

"I'll set you up in one of the spare rooms. We have more than enough space," (y/n) told him kindly, knowing she'd never refuse one of her babies a bed and warm meal when they had nowhere else to go, but her words made Jasper think. And that was very dangerous. 

"Okay, so we'll do it in the Man Cave," he said, instantly catching the resident couple's attention because he was talking about their home. 

"Do what in the Man Cave?" Ray asked in a deep voice, his arm slung limply over (y/n)'s shoulder. He didn't sound very interested, but the teen had his full attention because he didn't trust his weird ideas, thinking anything Jasper suggested ended in disaster. 

"Make it into a secret restaurant."

"Yes!"

"No!" Again, Charlotte loved that idea, but Ray and (y/n) quickly disagreed. The heroine didn't often put a dampener on things, more open to propositions than her adorable idiot, but she was with him on this one. It sounded risky - why didn't they add a turnstile to the front door since they wanted to turn the place into a funfair?

"We're not turning the Man Cave into a secret restaurant."

"You owe me! You burned down my kitchen! You never listen to me. You get mad at me when I read books in the Man Cave, even though you love it when (y/n) does the same thing!" The girl argued, pointing out his wrongdoings and bias with fury in her eyes, but Ray loved an argument and quickly fought back. 

"I knew I smelled books in here! And not the hot kind that my sweet girl reads!" He snapped, glancing around the room to see where the stench came from. 

Like a bloodhound, he scouted the shredder next to the couch and peered into the bucket, sneering at the destroyed paper and plastic chunks because of how dumb they made him feel. He wished he could play chess or read complex literature as his wife did, but that wasn't who he was, making him angry. 

"You owe me! (y/n/n), tell him! You know how much this date means to me," Charlotte, however, was clever, whether he liked it or not, so she switched tactics. Using her best pleading, puppy-dog eyes, she begged the woman to side with her, who knew about her feelings for Jack, how rarely she saw him, and how seldom she dated at all. 

(y/n) bit her lip for a minute, frantically looking between her doofus and ward as she decided. Being in the middle was never nice, but both trusted her judgement, so her word was final, with Ray knowing she weighed things up better than he ever could. 

"...This is really important to her, Ray. And we can help out..." she sighed after a few silent seconds, sidling up to her lover and sliding her hands up his chest. Perhaps she was soft, but that's what he fell in love with, and who was Ray to go against her?

"...Fine! We'll turn the Man Cave into a restaurant," he sighed, pulling her into his chest as she broke out into a grin. He felt soft too, and couldn't help but glare a little at Charlotte as she celebrated, but feeling his sweet girl's arms around him helped. It made him proud, knowing he'd pleased her and his employees. 

"Such a sweetheart..." (y/n) cooed, kissing her fingertips and pressing them to his grubby cheek, where underneath the grime, he was blushing. It was his reward for agreeing - anything to sweeten the deal - which was enough to make him comfortable with the idea until he glanced into the shredder again. 

"Who was playing chess?" He enquired angrily, pulling out an intact piece that hadn't made it through the harsh blades, meaning it was identifiable as an intelligent person's item. He showed the chessman to his helpers, who shrugged and proclaimed their innocence, and he already knew it wasn't his pretty girl's game of choice, so that left one culprit. 

"Schwoz?" Ray raised an eyebrow at him. All the genius needed to do was hold his ground and insist he was guiltless, but the guy crumbled under his boss' stern glare. Shouting for his life, Schwoz bolted for the secret door, hoping he could seek shelter in his bedroom before the man caught him. 

"What did I tell you about that?!--" Ray bellowed, trying to push past (y/n) to grab the genius. His love for science stank up his Man Cave, which he hated, so he used his vast bulk to try and strangle him, not that his fiancée let him. 

"Raymond! Raymond! Leave it! Leave it!" She shouted over his growls, using all her might to hold him back, even though her sneakers were slipping against the floor as she pushed against a solid wall of muscle and doofiness. 

Unexpectedly, an idea popped into her head, and she forced him back with an aggressive push, only to pose provocatively when he stared at her in shock. A finger trailed down his chest, making Ray gulp because he knew that look, and her sudden flirty behaviour made his heart race.

"Sweet girl?"

"Let's hit the showers..." 

~

*SMUT STARTS HERE! Even though this one isn't too extreme, go forth at your own risk because, of course, I'm going to hell and dragging everyone down with me. sorry not sorry.

In their bedroom, (y/n) was preparing for a night of elegance and sophistication. It was unexpected and last-minute, leading to quite a bit of whining from her because trust them to turn the Man Cave into a restaurant when no one had anything decent to wear. 

Restaurante de Man Cave - name pending - was supposed to be a fine, classy eatery fit for celebrities, so they couldn't serve Charlotte and Jack Swagger wearing jeans and a t-shirt. But, after some stress, things were starting to come together. 

While the girl went home to get ready and meet her date, Ray found Henry and Jasper some spiffy suits - one for a waiter and the other for a maitre d'hotel. The former would serve the table and wait on the happy couple's every need after the latter showed them down into the Cave, where Ray and Schwoz would be cooking dinner. 

No one knew if they were good cooks, but it wouldn't be challenging to shove something in the microwave and put it on a plate. At least that's what (y/n) hoped. She played the glamorous host with a beaming smile and beautiful dress, ensuring everyone enjoyed their meals, which meant she had to look good. 

"You know, you didn't have to buy me a dress. I could've used one of the ones I've already got," she called out to her doofus in the en-suite as she sat at her vanity unit. 

Having showered, done her skincare regime, and dried off, she'd left the bathroom to him, arguing that they didn't have time for sauciness, so he needed to get ready alone. 

Behind her, a long, green silk dress hung from the closet door, ready to slip into once she'd done her makeup. Brushing a smoky silver eye look into her crease, she was nearly done in that sense; nothing OTT, just some eyeshadow and highlighter to make her finest features pop. The real attraction was the gown her doofus bought her - a last-minute yet exquisite present for a stunning girl, even if she already had hundreds of them. 

"And miss a chance to see my best girl dressed up, looking gorgeous? Think again, darlin'," Ray replied as he emerged fresh as a daisy from the en-suite, making their bedroom hazy from the steam. Meeting his eye through the vanity's mirror, (y/n) felt her face heat up when she saw him blindly towelling his dripping hair, as naked as the day he was born and without shame. 

She couldn't really say anything, sitting in her cosy corner in nothing but her fanciest pair of panties because the dress was so restrictive - beautiful, yet impractical, and she'd need her lover's help to zip it up.

But goddamn, she said there wasn't time for messing around, but seeing him in all his glory, with water droplets running down his abs, drawing her eyes south, made her drool. 

"More money than sense, doofus," the woman teased him, putting down her brush to turn and face him. Ray felt his breath hitch at the sight she made; hair all quaffed and sprayed to fall perfectly around her face, makeup finished to match her nails, but her bare skin made him visibly gulp, his eyes darkening when he clocked that she was wearing panties, but nothing else. 

"With you, I can't help it, sweetheart. You're so fucking beautiful," he replied smoothly, walking over to snake an arm around her body. Gently cradling her jaw, he bent down to kiss her, angling her backwards to find her lips, but it wasn't long enough for (y/n). 

Releasing her after the fleeting peck, Ray swaggered to the bed and sat down, bouncing on the mattress as he reclined and watched - not getting ready, not drying her damp hair, just watching her. At first, she felt a little silly under his gaze--shy because she was practically naked, but he was her doofus. 

How he licked his lips and hungrily drank her gave her the confidence boost to make her shift, searching for his eyes in the reflective glass. Had he ever told her how hot her back was? Probably not, but it was true; he could see over her shoulder and saw how her chest heaved - exposed in the cool air, making her nipples pebble and his mouth water.

Moving down her soft tummy, his fun was only spoiled by the tiny lace panties she'd slipped on, the ones from an expensive set he bought her for some Valentine's fun last year. And he fancied reenacting that long, pleasure-filled night. 

"Your tits look gorgeous, too. No bra, sweet girl?"

"No, there--there's one built into the dress..." (y/n) stuttered as she rubbed scented lotion up her arms, neck, and chest. Her fingers drifted over her breast - to remove the last smears of greasy product from her hands - but to Ray, it was like a strip tease. He eyed how she touched her body, wishing it was him instead, but he didn't move from the bed. 

No, he wanted her to come to him, so he relaxed against the headboard and took in the show before him, allowing it to fuel his desire and thickening length. 

"Hmmm...so, you'll be walking around, teasing me like all hell? And there'll be nothing I can do about it..." the hero growled, laying his palm flat against his pelvis, keeping it there so he didn't ruin himself before he had her in his arms. 

"You're obsessed with them..." 

Giggling, she made a final check on her makeup and turned in the chair, resting her forearm on the back in a casual slump, but suddenly, she froze. 

Before her, on the bed, sprawled out in all his glory, Ray was grasping his thick cock, slowly pumping it to full hardness. The exquisite contours of her body made him grow and burn, the temptation to succumb to his filthy desires too much when her innocent eyes widened in shock. 

He growled lowly in his chest, never breaking eye contact as he pleasured himself, keeping his pace agonisingly slow to stop the blissful chase. But that didn't stop her from licking her lips, gaze glued to the up-down movement of his hand. 

"Damn right, darlin'," he growled, staring at her chest for a long moment before he tore his eyes back to her face. 

Squirming in her seat, the heroine awaited instruction, throwing her previous judgement to the wind because they'd make it if they didn't have time. With every soft stroke, his fist engulfed his cock, a slight twist added to the end, making him whimper slightly, calling to her soul. 

"Come here."

Without hesitation, she practically fell off the chair and scrambled up the bed, clumsily knocking her knees against his. Ray chuckled at her feverish movements, breaking his stoic façade for a second as he welcomed her into his arms, angling her body so she straddled his lap, tits pressed against his chest with their breath mingling. 

"Hello..." she said cutely, again feeling a little silly at how embarrassingly quick she'd been, but it died when his cock poked against her thighs. Her panties acted as a barrier, separating her from what her aching core sought--desperately needing him to stretch and fill her, making her whine as their nose rubbed together. 

"My little darling's so needy..." Ray grinned, grabbing handfuls of her ass, landing a light spank on her left cheek to make her gasp and arch into him. More wanton moans fell from her mouth as her nipples brushed against his pecs, the atmosphere electric as his hands ran up and down her spine, revelling in her soft, sweet-smelling skin. 

The perfume clinging to her body was addictive, causing him to pull her hand away from its tight grip on his hair, so he could press his nose to her wrist, kissing her pulse point as he inhaled deeply. 

"Smells good, sweet girl..."

"It's the one you got for my birthday... You spoil me, doofus," (y/n) replied, eyes fluttering closed as his lips pressed to each fingertip, palm and back to her pulse. Nothing made her feel more beautiful--cherished--adored than when he lavished her with his attention, melting into his warmth and safety as she gently rocked her hips against the underside of his leaking cock. 

"Nothing makes me happier..." he whispered into her skin, releasing her wrist to drag his touch down her ribs, thumb brushing over her nipple, making her whimper and arch against him. 

Leaning forward until their navels touched, he took the soft peak into her mouth, gently suckling as his length throbbed, tortured by the subconscious rolls of her hips. Twitching to the other, he showed it the same attention, brushing his teeth against the nub, and when she dropped and ground into his body, Ray knew he had to be inside her. 

"Gonna sit on my cock, darlin'..."

She nodded frantically, agreeing with whatever he said as the all-consuming fire overwhelmed her, but in the back of her mind, she realised it wasn't so much of a request, more like an order. Either way, sounded good to her. 

Carefully holding her hips like she was made of glass, the man raised her from his lap, grunting when her slick underwear left his leaking member. They were in the way, but the lace was so soaked it felt like velvet against him--frictionless and glorious against his sensitive skin. 

Still, they had to go, and he was all too happy to dip two fingers into the elastic resting over her hipbone, ready to shred them like it was nothing and money was no object, but (y/n) liked this set. 

"Nooooo, I like these..." she grumbled, pathetically swatting his chest to try and save the expensive lingerie, vaguely remembering it was a discontinued line. 

"They're in my way, sweet girl. And this--" he growled, leaving the waistband to mercilessly rub two fingers against her clothed slit, drawing a wail from her lips at the relief his touch brought, "--this is mine. Don't you want my cock in this little pussy?"

A weak nod earned her a smirk, but Ray wasn't cruel - not with his precious girl. He regrouped, changing tactics in the blink of an eye because whilst he preferred to have free access to her pussy, he couldn't stand the idea his selfish desires left her upset. 

So, in a compromise that leaned in her favour, his fingers stroked over her clit a couple more times before flexing underneath the soaked fabric. Grasping the base of his cock as he pulled it to one side, he had enough room to notch himself as her entrance, feeling her slick drip over the head and length as he slid through her folds.

"Oh, fuck--so big--Ray--" (y/n) cried, sinking onto him inch by inch, soothed by her lover's soft hushes and coos as he let her go at her own pace. 

Wrapped in his arms, with no pressure to do everything perfectly, she felt safe--allowed herself to feel a little vulnerable as the position pushed him as deep as possible. It was all a little overwhelming - the intimacy, the pleasure, the emotions running high - and it made her head drop to his shoulder, pussy clenching so hard she swore he wouldn't fit tonight. 

"Oh, my little darlin'. Doin' so well for me--look, sweet girl. Look how well you take me," Ray cooed, noticing how she got a little lost in herself, so he took it upon himself to ease the final few centimetres.

Finding her clit through her panties again, he rubbed in tight circles to sweeten the intense experience, knowing she rarely sat on his cock like--rarely felt him filling her so completely. Gasping at the inrush of pleasure, she moaned and steadied her breathing, sinking lower, watching her pussy swallow his impossibly thick length. 

"See, sweet girl? See how you're made for me? My cock's made for this pussy--feels so f-fuckin' good," the man choked, resisting the urge to fuck up into her as he watched himself disappear, engulfed by her heat, and it was damn hard not to. 

Whispering endless praises into her chest as he reeled in his desire, he kissed her breastbone and told her his darkest, filthiest thoughts--how small and perfect she was in his arms, how he'd ruin her for any other man, how he could die right then and there and die a happy man, wrapped in her tight heat. 

(y/n)'s eyes followed his, and as always, she was stunned by how she'd managed to get his entire cock crammed inside her. Seeing her dripping centre stuffed full made her core clench and another surge of desire run through her. She felt complete and satiated now that their bodies were joined, thighs touching thighs as she sat there and let him worship her. 

"I want--I want--Can I move, doofus?" She asked, surprised by how wrecked and whiny her voice sounded. She didn't know what she wanted, but something in her hindbrain told her to fuck herself on his cock, to drag her walls against him and have him fill her with his cum, but shockingly, Ray grabbed her waist and held her still. 

Unable to pinpoint his schemes, all the woman could do was whimper and react to his soft touches, humming softly as the tip of his nose roamed her neck, kisses occasionally landing whenever he felt like it. His hands reached around to her ass again, squeezing it gently, pulling her cheeks apart so she stretched around his cock a little more. 

Why he was taking his time, she didn't know, but it was nice, anyway, to sit in his lap, moan when he bit into her collarbone, clench when he pulled her earlobe past his lips. 

"You're gonna sit on my cock, sweet girl..." he repeated, hot breath rolling from her ear down the column of her throat as he adjusted his position, flexing his hips when he sat up straighter. He loved the face-to-face closeness, how he could look her in the eye and be used. He was there for her pleasure, something to satisfy her, and he was just along for the ride. 

"You need something to cum on."

Two fingers found her clit, throwing her into a needy clinch, body convulsing as her cunt spasmed, gripping his length. She hadn't realised how worked up he'd made her until white heat ripped through her body - a sudden, earth-shattering orgasm rocking her delicate figure, but it was exactly what she needed. And suddenly, she understood what he meant. 

Sit in his lap. Something to cum on. And god, it felt good. 

"Good girl--that's it. Use this pussy and ruin me. Take what you need," Ray told her softly, eyes shining as she slumped against him, tired but not yet satiated in the afterglow. 

He was so hard inside her that it almost hurt, but he didn't feel the need to rearrange her guts with harsh words and possessive commands. With soft, clean skin fragranced with shampoo and soap, he wanted something gentler, which led to him milking her body for everything she could give. 

His thumb never stilled on her clit; even through the aftershocks, he diligently worked her through the overstimulation, seeking to make her ruin those cursed panties and soak his thighs with her juices. 

"Mmmm... Ray...feels so good," she murmured against his skin, lazily trailing her lips across his collarbone after her first climax left her sleepy--almost drunk. He chuckled above her head, letting his head thunk against the wall behind him as he enjoyed how her walls fluttered around him, the ultimate test of resilience for any man with the love of his life in his arms.  

"I can make it better, darlin'," he replied throttle, making her hum and raise her head to give him a questioning look. 

Without saying a word, the hero held her hips, supporting her weight as he shifted underneath her, tilting his hips ever so slightly as he brought his knees up behind her. Now, she didn't rely on her lower back muscles to keep her upright, and with a gentle push, he silently told her to relax against them--to let him take the strain, so she could recline effortlessly. 

"There you go, sweet girl. Let me enjoy this perfect body--this sweet cunt... Feel how deep I am inside you?" 

"So deep...and big. L-Love you, doofus," she gasped, ass meeting his pelvis in the altered position, meaning her greedy pussy consumed the last millimetre of his cock, craving everything he could give. 

"Love you too, darlin'. Always have...a-always will," he replied with a shaky laugh, hunching over her body to kiss up the valley between her breasts, hands following his touch to cup and squeeze them. He couldn't help but stumble when she jolted, jostling the length nestled inside her, but he resisted moving. 

Tweaking her nipples between his forefinger and thumb, (y/n) felt her hips roll against his, aching to chase another orgasm, but once Ray had his mind set on something - especially when it came to sex - he rarely changed it. 

A softly stern glare made her freeze and grumble, complaining that she needed more--wanted to fuck or be fucked because it wasn't fair that she took everything and gave nothing in return, but he insisted. 

"Ah-ah-ah, you needy little thing. Wanna 'nother? Hmmm? You wanna cum again?" He asked mockingly, one hand leaving her tits to return to between her legs, where her clit still throbbed under the soaked lace, despite the attention he paid to it earlier. 

"Yes--want more. Please, doofus..." (y/n) moaned, trying to avoid squirming on top of him since it might make him pause, but her words seemed to please the hero. 

Smirking cockily, two fingers began to trace figures of eight over the nub, throwing her head back, pushing out her pretty tits for him to worship. He couldn't leave them alone for a second, preferring to alternate which one he wanted to hold, not even play with. He enjoyed the weight of them against his palm, thinking they were beautifully made to suit his desires - his perfect girl. 

"Give it to me, then, darlin'. Give me a good one," he mumbled, her eyes watching when the tendons and muscles flexed in his arm as he worked her clit. Whatever she wanted, she could have it; his lips against her skin, fingers on her cunt, nipples pulled and taunted, but there was one exception. 

When she tried to rock against him, desperately craving some friction and his pleasure, a sharp, fleeting smack to her tit warned her that he was still very much in charge. An absolute sweetheart, but the one who knew how to make her see stars. 

A pathetic whine left her mouth, making him chuckle at how needy she became as her second climax came hurtling in out of nowhere, building further and more intensely than the last. Throwing herself forward, the heroine chased his lips, needing to feel his tongue against hers as she clenched around him.

Ray happily indulged her, cupping her jaw possessively as he swallowed her sounds, releasing some groans at the sensation of her tightness. 

His cock pulsed inside her, threatening to blow his load then and there as her scorching pussy convulsed around him, but he squeezed her harder and allowed himself a small grind into her cunt, loving how she came for longer with the added stimulation. 

"So hot, sweet girl. Everyone thinks you're such an innocent little thing, but I know you're not. You love this, don't you?"

"Please, Ray. Please fuck me now. I need---I need to--" She gasped, a tear falling from her eye as his touch continued with no regard for her sensitivity. Yet, as much as the pleasure blurred with pain, she wouldn't stop him - and he'd stop if she asked. But Ray knew the answer to his question; she loved it, her filthiness matching his rampant desires, which was probably why they got on so well. 

Finally, he couldn't take it any longer. Seeing her fucked-out, pleading expression swayed him slightly, calling to her merciful side, but when coupled with the tightly wound coil sitting in his core, he was a goner. Tilting her chin down so she looked at only him, he pulled her closer, wanting to feel her skin against his as he unhurriedly rocked up into her. 

"That's it, love," he breathed out, one hand splayed against her back, keeping her upright, the other wrapped around her neck, foreheads touching as he let their hips grind together, gently meeting her thrusts.

The rhythm was torturously slow and soft, their bodies barely rubbing against each other, but it was enough, neither wanting to go any faster since it risked shattering the fragile moment. 

"N-Nice and slow..." Ray instructed her, but it wasn't really a command. Minutes--seconds--hours, perhaps, passed with them just moving to the quiet sound of their thighs brushing against each other, his lips caressing hers in ghost-like kisses, tasting her at every possible chance. Behind, his hand encouraged every roll of her hips, the angle encouraging his cock back into her whenever she pulled away. 

"Doofus..." (y/n) gasped, arms hanging limply around his neck as she let him dictate the pace, matching every micro-thrust he made, never wanting him to pull out. Sometimes, the rough fucks were what she needed - a hard, brutal speed to satisfy the dirty brat inside her. But at times, she needed the intimacy and hint to look after him, like he was now. 

Knowing she'd possibly die if she didn't fight the fire he lit inside her, she willed her jelly-like arms to move, bringing her shaking fingers to one breast whilst the other found her clit. She was nowhere near as precise and skilled as he was, too hysterical with pleasure to care, but it took the edge off, sweetening the pain and turning it into something much more intense. 

And it made quite the sight for the enamoured man beneath her. 

"Fuck, I wanna cum inside you. Can I? Can I fill you up, sweet girl? Show the world you're mine?" He asked, no longer gruff and dominant but anguished in need of her approval like it was air to breathe. 

'Yes, Ray--I want it! Pleasepleaseplease--fucking give it to me!" She wailed, frantically losing control as she toyed with her body, sending them both racing toward the edge. She bounced on his cock passionately, becoming slightly rougher at the end as his mouth slotted against hers - all tongue and teeth as they came together. 

Transfixed - that's what Ray was. He swore the world stopped as he saw white and felt nothing but searing heat flash through his body. His pleasure tasted like honey, thinking he'd gone to heaven when everything blurred because he knew angels were real. He had one in his arms, crying out his name, clinging to his biceps as she collapsed against his chest, shuddering and breathless. 

His strong arms stayed around her body - always keeping her protected - as he fell back against the headboard, their sweaty bodies pressed together as he remained nestled inside. 

Raspy, panting breaths filled the air as she kissed his chest, tasting salt on his skin whilst he came down, dazed but not unhappy to find his angel without her wings. Just a sweet smile and gentle kiss. 

"We're gonna be so late," (y/n) chuckled as she cupped his cheek, finding his lips instantly when he leaned forward in a silent request. The restaurant had been pushed to the backs of their minds, replaced with the ever-present need to be one with the other, and for Ray, it still felt too soon to return to normality. 

Why couldn't he stay in here with her where no one bothered them? Out there, he had to behave, but away from prying eyes; he could have her however he wanted with no competition for her attention. 

"Just a little longer..." he whispered, guiding her head to tuck into the crevice of his neck, where she blissfully sighed and closed her eyes, content to have five minutes like this. 

Legend has it the universe separated soulmates to stop them from growing too powerful--to spite them for being perfect. Only when together do they feel whole again, and at that moment, with his sweet girl dozing against his chest, Ray believed the stories to be true. 

He felt complete - he and his twin flame love. 

*SAFETY AGAIN! I love the idea of Ray being so protective and soft because he's only got one sweet girl - he has to take care of her. I'm also a firm believer that (y/n) loves to snuggle (because D**x (ew) never wanted to), and she likes sleeping on her doofus. ask me to write an essay on it, and I will because I have every angle of this relationship figured out 

and I love writing essays.

ONWARDS MY FRIENDS!

~A while later~

They had to hand it to Schwoz; he'd done a fabulous job turning the Man Cave into Swellview's answer to The Ritz. 

Under (y/n)'s watchful, tasteful eye, he'd sectioned off the floor near the elevator with long, swooping, silvery curtains, creating the impression that the room was a restaurant. Metallic curtains were tied with shimmering beads and jewels, creating an elegant atmosphere, twinned with red accents in red chandeliers and floral arrangements. He'd also spread several scarlet Ankara rugs on the floor, which felt soft and plush underneath everyone's feet. 

Meanwhile, the glamorous hostess finished the final touches to the table they'd use for Charlotte and Jack Swagger, fussing over a crooked napkin and dull cutlery as Jasper hovered around her. 

"Are you sure it looks all right, Curly?" She asked quietly, rearranging the small, white orchid in the table's centre for the hundredth time, much to the boy's frustrated amusement. 

"Yes, (y/n/n). You and Schwoz have done a great job," Jasper replied, using a small ruler to measure the distance between the customer and their plate - Downton Abbey style. 

Dressed in a clean, sharp tux, the kid had never felt so fancy and took his job seriously as they waited for the couple to arrive. She looked beautiful, dressed to the nines in the gown Ray had bought her, but she was so stressed about tonight. And it wasn't even her date. 

"I just want tonight to be perfect for Charlotte..." She sighed, rubbing her manicured nails against her forehead from the million things worrying her when the elevator opened. Henry stepped out, doing his pinny since he would be the waiter for tonight. 

"Sorry, I'm late. The hawk grabbed my tie and wouldn't give it back. Luckily, my dad distracted it with his face," the boy apologised as he approached them, straightening his tie so his starchy collar wouldn't rub his neck raw. His words made Jasper and (y/n) look at each other in worry, thinking an attack like that sounded serious. 

"Ouch..."

"Is he okay?"

"Yeah, he's okay. He's got razor talons and a knife beak, so..." the boy replied dopily, making his friends chuckle at how wrong he'd interpreted that. 

"No, no, he meant your dad, Hen," (y/n) told him, smoothing the nonexistent wrinkles of her dress to quell her nerves. She could only imagine how Mr Hart looked with his face all shredded and bleeding, and it did nothing for her queasy stomach, but Henry was quick to notice her nervous behaviour, changing the subject. 

"Oh, no, he's in serious pain--this place looks great! Where's Ray?" The blond boy asked, knowing the praise and mention of her fiancé would cheer her up. It worked, and (y/n) smiled softly, like always when thinking about the hero, butterflies chasing the nerves away as she absentmindedly stroked her engagement ring. 

"Masterchef's in the kitchen."

"Where's the kitchen?" Henry frowned, glancing around the room and seeing no indication that they had something like that. But that was where Schwoz's genius came in because the auto-snacker wouldn't cut it this time. Jasper smirked at (y/n), who rolled her eyes, but she knew the feeling - how the genius had done it was awesome. 

"Behind the soundproof curtain!"

"Whaaaaaat?" The kid gasped, face becoming severe as his best friend mouthed, "I know". Henry couldn't believe it, so he tentatively stepped toward the curtain, grabbing the soft, expensive fabric and pulling it back. Instantly, he knew how effective it was, hearing Ray's annoyed bellows as he messed around in the kitchen, but in the restaurant, things were quiet and calm. It was incredible. 

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I JUST HAD IT! HOW COULD I LOSE--" The man screamed, but he was muted when the boy drew the fabric closed again, not a sound creeping through. 

"IT WAS HERE TWO SECONDS AGO! I SWEAR ON MY FATHER'S PREPURCHASED BURIAL PLOT--" Trying it again, Henry listened to whatever grievances his boss had, glancing at (y/n) for an explanation, but she just sighed and massaged the bridge of her nose. 

"Hmm, chef sounds mad."

"It's weird. He seemed so calm earlier..." Jasper remarked pensively, remembering how Ray emerged from the sprocket with the sappiest smile and a very relaxed mindset. Whatever had happened while he was changing put him in a really good mood, but any positivity had vanished after parting with his lover to start their tasks. 

"Uh--we should check on him. God knows what he's been up to in there," the woman said awkwardly as she gulped, suddenly thinking it wasn't a good idea to let Ray cook unsupervised whilst Schwoz got into his cooking overalls.

Shimming her skirt up her legs so she didn't trip on the hem, she disappeared behind the curtain, immediately coming face-to-face with her doofus, holding a million flares as he looked around the kitchen for something. It was an impressive setup with rows and rows of shelves for food storage, plenty of counter space, and a gigantic, professional oven set to preheat, but despite the tidiness, the man had lost something important. 

"Oh my god, doofus! What are you doing?" She gasped as he waved one--two--three--four flares around in his hands like they were harmless. She was surprised he hadn't set the place ablaze yet, but he still didn't put them out when he turned to her and the boys' horrified faces. 

"I can't find my fifth flare, sweet girl!" He whined, raking his eyes over her form to see how perfectly the dress fit her body, highlighting her curves, contours and...finer features. Her shoulders were bare, and nothing would stop him from sliding the zipper down her back...if his damn flare hadn't gone walkabout. 

"What the hell do you need flares for, you doofus?!" (y/n) asked incredulously, hands on her hips, which didn't help Ray's focus. He stared at the area, licking his lips at the thought of holding them for her, but when Henry cleared his throat, he snapped out of his haze and spoke. 

"If I don't have all five flares, it's ruined!"

"Put the flares away, man! They're for emergencies only!"

"Or for playing Truth or Flare!" Jasper added to Henry's plea, which was less important, but (y/n) appreciated the backup. However, they still didn't get through to the man, who refused to extinguish the flames because they were in his competent hands. 

"It's fine! I just had the thing! Where--it was here a second ago!" He grumbled, searching his work surfaces to see if he could spot the orange, flickering light against the metal, but amongst the vegetables, meats and spices, it was impossible. Mainly because when he shuffled around, his helpers quickly realised what he'd done. 

"Well, could it be this flare-shaped object here?" (y/n) chastised him, ignoring his shouting as Henry passed her a tea towel. Neither he nor Jasper wanted to go anywhere near their boss because he'd shoved the fifth flare into his back pocket, and they weren't paid enough to touch his butt. However, they had a sweet young lady who loved him dearly, and she often talked about how cute his ass was. She could do it. 

"Where is it, darlin'?"

"Stop moving!" She ordered her doofus, wrapping the cloth around her hand to avoid getting burnt; she yanked it from his pocket, smothering the flame before it could damage. She threw the singed towel and empty cartridge into the trash and gave her lover a stern glare, poking his arm when he fell into a daydream, eyes glued to her cleavage. 

"Raymond, you have to stop lighting flares in kitchens!"

"Why? What's the worst that could happen, sweet girl?" He asked casually, placing more interest in her beauty and allure than what she was saying. The ones in his hands were still burning, meaning she couldn't get close enough to smack some sense into him, which meant they had to go. 

"Okay, hand them over. Come on, doofus, give them to me! Guys, help me out here--" the heroine grunted, bringing in the brawny boys flanking her to wrestle the flares from his hands. 

"We're done! We're done!" Alone, she didn't have the strength to wrench them from his hands, but with Henry and Jasper holding his wrists, she could easily pluck all four flares away. 

"Ah, you're ruining my process! No, sweet girl, don't put them in there! Don't put that--aw..." Ray argued pathetically, pushing against his sidekick, who held him back as the woman dunked the fiery sticks into a cold pot of something, the liquid extinguishing them quickly, much to his disappointment. 

"Don't pout at me, Raymond. No more flares indoors, or so help me, you'll be sleeping alone for the next month," (y/n) scolded him, dusting down his crisp, white chef's jacket as he huffed. That didn't sound fun; whilst he liked flares, he loved his sweet girl and quickly nodded just as an alert displayed on the supercomputer. 

"Okay. Charlotte and Jack Swagger are close. I gotta go up to Junk-N-Stuff and pretend like it's a fake store," Jasper announced, doing up his jacket's button as he made to go through the curtain, but not before his friend gave him a funny look. 

"It is a fake store," Henry pointed out, thinking he should've known that after working there for so long. 

"Exactly. This guy gets it." But Jasper didn't understand, leaving to greet the young couple properly and gentlemanly, and he couldn't do that if he had stayed chatting with them. 

Leaving them alone as the computer dictated the teens were getting close, Henry took a moment to study the kitchen, his eyes landing on the head chef as he sipped something broth-like before leaning down to kiss his sweet girl. That had to be the weirdest way to taste something he'd ever seen. 

"Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight, darlin'? I love what you're wearing..." Ray cooed to his fiancée, his arm wrapped tightly around her silk-clad waist as he let her sample his dishes - mostly ready-made, store-bought and highly microwaveable. Still, she seemed impressed, blushing under his compliments as they exchanged hushed, sweet nothings, unaware of the boy watching them. 

"You have, but thank you, doofus. You look as adorable as ever..."

"What are you wearing?" Henry piped up, interrupting their little lovefest without care because he wouldn't call the man's outfit adorable. More goofy and ridiculous. 

Like something from a cheesy movie, Ray wore traditional chef whites - a button-down shirt and trousers - with a big poofy toque pulled down over his chocolate locks, drooping over his left ear. He'd tied a comically large red handkerchief around his neck and even had Schwoz embroider his name across his left breast as if everyone would forget who he was. 

He looked like every stereotypical Italian chef ever thought of, and whilst it endeared him to (y/n), Henry thought he looked stupid. 

"Schwoz and I are the chefs. I am dressed like a chef," he explained like it was apparent, sounding quite proud that he had such an important job. And, lest he forgets, chefs were known to be undeniably hot to women, especially sweet ones. A win-win situation for him. 

"Uhh...from a cartoon?"

"This is what chefs wear." And he wouldn't let Henry spoil it. The hand holding (y/n)'s hip squeezed tightly at the insinuation that he looked silly, growing tighter when the boy started to smirk and argue back. 

"In cartoons."

"No! In real life! Sweet girl, tell him!" Ray growled, appealing to his lover to resolve the matter, which Henry didn't find fair because, obviously, she'd tell him that he looked perfect. Handsome. Cute. Hot. The whole works, even though he was correct. However, before (y/n) could open her mouth, the secret door opened, and out came Schwoz, who brought her argument down in one fell swoop. 

Underneath a navy apron, a white t-shirt stretched across his lean chest, exposing the gold chains he always wore underneath his clothing. A matching blue bandana kept his thinning hair under control, and he'd even taken the time to apply two sleeves of fake tattoos to his arms just to complete the whole cook look. Pair that with the professional knives tucked under his arm, and he could sneak into any real kitchen and fit in. 

"Boom! Now, that's a chef!" Henry grinned, pointing to the genius as he dumped his tool on the counter and began sorting them out, oblivious to their argument. 

"No. I got a can of pasta sauce right here with a picture of a chef on it. That's what a chef wears. Here's what a chef looks like!" The man snapped, picking up the red tin and obnoxiously shoving it in his sidekick's face so he could see the guy in the front. 

"You're sad..." Henry mumbled, shaking his head as he held his tongue. He desperately wanted to yell at his boss and tell him that just because some crappy company thought that their recipe would taste better if they put Mario and his sauce just like Mama used to make on their products didn't mean actual chefs wanted to look like morons. 

"What is Ray wearing?" Schwoz asked as he glanced up and saw his childish outfit. He thought the jacket looked strangled when he picked it up, but he'd never imagined that he'd be working with The Swedish Chef's long-lost cousin. 

"He's a chef!" (y/n) told him, feeling protective of her doofus as they ganged up on him. She'd admit that they were correct; he did look a bit outlandish, and yes, he would've seemed sinfully hot dressed similarly to Schwoz, but he was so happy in his floppy hat. Who were they to ruin that?

"What? From a cartoon?" The small man joked, making Henry snort and chuckle as Ray seethed. 

"This guy gets it."

"Look at the can! The can's a lie?!" Ray exclaimed, angrily showing the pasta sauce to Schwoz, who still laughed in his face because of how stupid and stubborn he was. 

"It's a cartoon guy. This is what a chef looks like!" He snapped, making Ray bite back until they were embroiled in a heated dispute, shouting from both sides. Henry looked at (y/n) sheepishly, knowing he'd caused it with his persistent hardheadedness, but she shook her head and waited for them to finish. It had to end at some point - either in a stalemate or victory - and she'd be okay with both. 

Until Ray pulled out a flare. 

"Raymond! No! Bad!" She shouted as he yanked the top off with his teeth, setting off the chemical reaction without regard for his safety when the sparks flew. 

Schwoz immediately shrank back, terrified of being burnt because he wasn't indestructible like Captain Man - more like highly flammable. When the man started waggling it under his nose, he was off like a shot, scuttling off to a safe corner of the makeshift kitchen to chop his vegetables and prepare his prawns. 

Meanwhile, Henry and (y/n) faced off with Ray, who was still tempted to follow the genius, despite his noticeable withdrawal. They refused to let him move, standing with stern faces as he lowered the flare, not wanting to burn his sweet sidekicks. 

"Raymond, are you trying to tell me something? You want to have the bedroom to yourself tonight?" (y/n) asked sharply, folding her arms as his expression darkened, turning stormy because he couldn't believe she'd even suggest that. He spun and clenched the flaming item in his hand, letting the heat burn away from him behind his back as he glared at them grumpily. 

"No! Why should I suffer because Schwoz is stupid? What do you like his chef outfit more than mine?!"

"Dude, this is literally your fault!" Henry hissed as he nudged (y/n)'s shoulder, seeing how her eyes squinted indecipherably at the backhanded accusation. He wanted her to know he was there, not that Ray could ever offend her so childishly. But it wasn't fair that he took out his anger on them, especially when (y/n) was just trying to keep things civil, so he stood his ground and frowned back. 

"Oh, so you're mad with me, too? I'm telling you this is a chef's outfit, and I won't believe otherwise! You have some cheek!" The hero growled, stamping his foot and pointing his free finger at the kid, but he wasn't scared for some reason. 

Instead, Henry laughed, glancing down at the man's body, where the flare brushed against his clothing, flames curling around the white material of his overalls, which would make any chef wince--if they actually wore them. 

"So do you, dude, and it is on fire!" The boy chuckled, pointing to the man's ass, where his pants had caught alight. He'd not been paying attention, meaning he didn't notice how he'd tilted the flare onto his leg until it was too late. Looking down, Ray's eyes widened comically as the stench of smoke hit his nose, and that's when it hit him. 

He was on fire. 

"PUT ME OUT! PUT ME OUT! PUT ME OUT! KID! SWEET GIRL! IT BURNS!" He screamed, dancing in a circle, flailing his arms around as Henry's façade broke, peels of laughter falling from his lips as his boss patted his butt. 

"Henry!" (y/n) scolded the boy, but suddenly, she was too preoccupied with tending to her doofus. Even if he was a very indestructible child, she couldn't stand watching him go up in flames. She grabbed a cloth and tried to smother the fire before it overheated his cute ass. 

All the while, Henry watched in amusement, swapping sly glances with Schwoz as the genius hunched over his worktop with shaking shoulders, hiding his laughs at how his boss looked and sounded like a scalded chicken. The boy thought the guy deserved it, and perhaps, it would teach him not to play with such dangerous things. After all, children shouldn't play with matches. 

"Henry Hart, don't just stand there! Get the fire extinguisher!" (y/n) barked, whacking his arm when he wouldn't move. Nothing helped him. The tacky, cheap uniform was made from such crappy fabric that it went up like a bonfire, licking up his lower back and down to his calf as the kid walked towards the safety equipment, laughing all the way. 

Finally, he unhooked the silver canister from the wall and grabbed the nozzle, pointing it at his boss like any firefighter. With pleading eyes, Ray begged the kid to squeeze the trigger, unable to stand the pain any longer as his skin refused to melt, so Henry looked upon him with mercy. 

A squirt of gas hit the man's butt, instantly quelling the flames and stealing the oxygen they needed to grow, leaving nothing but a black scorch and a small hole that showed Ray's - and (y/n)'s - favourite underwear. 

"Oh...that's good," the man sighed in relief, sinking into his sweet girl's arms as the blaze died down, revealing another source of embarrassment, but it paled in comparison to his ass being on fire. Henry kept going, perhaps using too much of the smoke, but it was better to be safe than sorry, and Ray didn't seem to care about anything now he was put out. 

'Don't do anything stupid like that again, Ray. I don't like my doofuses toasted..." (y/n) whispered as he became soft and affectionate, resting in her neck as the pain faded. His skin felt strangely chilly now, possibly because he'd accidentally burnt his trousers off, but he didn't care, even when Henry awkwardly averted his eyes. He didn't want to see that. 

"No, sweet girl..." he nodded, rubbing his nose against her skin, pushing his lips against her pulse because he'd nearly died. Well, not died, but anyone else, and they wouldn't be able to sit down. He felt lucky and took his chance to sniff where she dabbed on her perfume - the one he bought her Christmas. Yet another present, another reminder that she carried him with her. 

"Guys, Charlotte's nearly here, and we don't need any more gross mushy stuff up in here tonight," Henry groaned, grabbing the crook of (y/n)'s arm and yanking her away, much to Ray's sorrow and disgust. 

"My sweet girl!" He whimpered, reaching out to drag her back into his arms again, not ready to let go, but the kid had a weapon. Pointing the extinguisher at him, a burst of carbon dioxide pushed Ray back when it clouded his vision, and (y/n) agreed that they had to get back to work. 

They'd be in the restaurant at any minute and hadn't even done a final sweep of the room to ensure everything was perfect. Her kisses could wait; Charlotte's were much more important. 

"I'll see you later, Raymond. Don't miss me too much!"

"I think that's impossible, darlin'!" The hero whined, shrinking away but staring at her longingly as she passed through the soundproof curtain. Suddenly, he hated their separate jobs, wishing he could be out there with her, but he also knew he was needed at the stove, so he allowed Henry to take her. Reluctantly, and he still didn't like it. 

"Remember not to use flares in the kitchen, dude!" His sidekick added, respraying the extinguisher for good measure--to ensure he didn't drag (y/n) back behind the curtain for a cuddle. 

"Don't take my girl away, then!"

"She'll be here when we're done! You're the one who said she'd make the sweetest, prettiest hostess in the world!" Henry yelled back, rolling his eyes at how dramatic his boss was, but he quietly agreed that (y/n) was the perfect person for the job, no matter how shy she felt about it. 

"Ha! Yeah, she is! We good, Henry!" Well, that seemed to placate him for now, or maybe the kiss (y/n) blew to him as she shut the curtain, trusting him to cook alongside Schwoz with no squabbling. Now, she and Henry could focus on their jobs, but suddenly, they realised how long they'd been behind there as they came face-to-face with an unexpected visitor. 

"Whatcha got there? Soundproof curtain?" Piper asked casually, more focused on the elaborate setup she'd sneaked into the Man Cave than whatever they were doing. Her brother and friend blinked at her appearance, shocked at how she'd made it in without them knowing and with a goddamn grand piano, of all things. 

"Piper?! What on Earth...?!" (y/n) gasped, watching the girl neatly arranging a group of candles on the bulky instrument's lid. God knows how it fit in the elevator, but the woman was more concerned about how...grown-up she looked. 

The girl wore a long, beautiful, one-shouldered dress that wrapped around her body elegantly. She'd pinned her hair up with a few strands framing her face, did her makeup, and added some tasteful jewellery to complete the look that made her friend tear up. What happened to the little girl she once took to the movies, only to beat up The Spoiler for Captain Man? 

"How'd you get this piano down here?"

"Schwoz has a thing..." Piper replied flatly, too engrossed in her preparations to spare them a glance. That answered one question, but they still had many others, especially about what she was doing during their delicate operation. 

"Okay...why do you have a piano down here?" Henry asked, curious about her getup and actions because they didn't need music, and it was odd to see his baby sister looking like a movie star. That's what PearPhones and music services were for, but his questioning didn't phase her. 

"This is my baby grand, baby. I'm gonna play some slow jams for tasty tips!" Piper exclaimed, still fussing over her beloved piano, making her brother and friend laugh since it wasn't the grand occasion she was portraying. She wouldn't get to play her slow jams for the masses, just two teenagers who probably wouldn't even look her way once the romance kicked in. 

"It's one person coming to dinner."

"He's not a person. He's a celebrity. You wouldn't understand," the girl sneered at her brother, finally satisfied with the decorations around her small space. One last addition; she placed a glass jar on another mat, cleverly angling it so it was the closest thing to whoever walked past, and she'd even stuffed a few dollars in it to encourage more donations. Y'know, just to let people know what it was for. 

"Do you even know how to play the play?" (y/n) asked, raking her gaze over the black and white ivory because it wasn't a skill she'd associated with the girl. Piper was lovely, but Photoshop and taking selfies were more her game, not classical music. 

"Nobody actually knows how to play the piano, (y/n/n). I mean, look at this thing. There's, like, a million buttons," she scoffed, circling the instrument to sit on the bench, dragging her fingers across the plinky-plonky things that played pretty notes when she pressed them. 

"Um, they're called keys--"

"Fortunately, my phone just has one button!" There was no room for the woman to explain when Piper tapped play on her phone, placing it on the lid so no one could tell. A soft, gentle tune filled the room, relaxing yet jaunty enough to entertain those listening, and when Piper donned her best "musician's expression", miming how they fingered the keys, it looked like she genuinely was playing. 

"Okay, whatever. Just don't spoil Charlotte's date," (y/n) told her, brushing the nonexistent dust from her dress as she and Henry left her to it. Suddenly, as if they could sense her nerves, a commotion came from the elevator, signalling to the front-of-house staff that their prestigious guests had arrived. 

"Holy shit--it's happening! It's happening! Okay, don't panic! Don't panic! Places, Henry, places!"

"(y/n/n), calm down! Jeez, it's just a date. How bad can it be?" Henry chuckled, soothing the woman's flapping by catching her arm and escorting her to where she'd greet the couple. He knew she cared about Charlotte - all her babies - being the romance lover she was, but getting herself into a state wouldn't help. 

"Um, on my first date with Ray, I spilt wine everywhere in the fanciest restaurant in Swellview. That's how bad it can be," she replied, swallowing thickly as the elevator crashed on the bottom floor, undoubtedly giving those inside the ride of their lives.  

"We're not serving wine, and besides, you've had, like, a million dates since then. You're worrying over nothing, sweet girl..." Henry told her gently, patting her gently on the back as he murmured the nickname her date had given her, only now he was her fiancé, nearly her husband. 

He thought she was doing fine, so, taking a deep breath, (y/n) held her nerve and smiled brightly as the elevator opened. Piper hid her phone, exchanging a quick nod with them as she became the mild-mannered pianist in the corner, leaving them to do the talking. 

Inside the elevator, Charlotte had managed to stay on her feet, having gotten used to the box's poor mechanics over the years she'd secretly worked in the Man Cave. 

Even in her white, heeled boots, she didn't want to spoil her outfit, which she meticulously picked out at the mall with (y/n)'s opinion because it was cute. A stripey, yellow, white, purple, blue and black crop top and long, matching skirt hugged her lithe body as her beautifully intricate braids trailed down her back. 

However, her date had not been so lucky. 

"Whoa, they need to fix their elevator," Jack Swagger remarked as he stood up from the dirty floor, dusting off his leather jacket and jeans after the rough trip. 

"You get used to it," Charlotte told him warmly before realising her mistake. She'd never been to this secret restaurant before--she shouldn't know what to expect--so she quickly backtracked, "I assume! If you work here--which I don't. Hey, look, a piano!"

"Nice playin'. I love a little slow jam," Jack complimented Piper as they strolled into the room, appreciating the fancy, inviting decor. Charlotte barely recognised the place and was even more surprised to see her friend tickling the keys. 

"Money speaks louder than words," she replied coyly, jerking her head toward the tip jar, and with such a blatant reference - more like order - the poor boy had no choice but to get out his wallet. Unfortunately for him, all he ever carried was large bills, so Piper bagged herself a couple hundred in one go, which was when (y/n) decided to swoop in. 

"Welcome to our humble restaurant. My name is (y/n), and I am the owner of this establishment. Is it a table for two tonight?"

"Yes, thank you," Charlotte nodded graciously, smiling warmly at her friend, who gave her a cheeky wink when Jack was preoccupied fishing the money from his wallet. She seemed relaxed and nervous all at once, possibly because she liked him, but she knew the risks they were taking in the Man Cave, so the woman quickly moved on. 

"Certainly. We have your table ready over here," she smiled, gesturing to the neatly ornate table. She guided them over with Henry at her side, meaning neither noticed how Piper swiped her phone from its hiding spot to snap a few quick pics. None of her snooty friends believed she would meet Jack Swagger, but maybe they would when they made it to Twitflash. 

"This is Henry. He will be your server for this evening," (y/n) kept smiling, even when the girl at the piano caught everyone's attention. She grinned innocently, still enthusiastically tapping away, so Charlotte and her date relaxed into their chairs, soaking in the glitzy atmosphere. 

"So, what's this place called?" Jack asked the enchanting lady as the blond boy shuffled some menus. 

"It's called Food."

"That's dumb," he replied, thinking she might have been pretty, but she was crap at naming things, but Henry quickly corrected him, knowing the woman had actually been pretty clever. Jack didn't know how lucky he was that Ray wasn't his waiter, knowing he'd have him against the wall by the collar if he heard him call his sweet girl dumb - celebrity status or not. 

"Is it? What if I told you it's Füd, spelt with a U with two dots over it?" He suggested, handing the heartthrob a menu with the restaurant's name. Jack grinned when he saw it, loving the smiley face letter in the middle as he took the thick paper. 

"See, now that's cool! Cül spelt with a U with two dots over it."

"Ha--this guy gets it. This guy gets it..." Henry giggled at the boy's humour, handing his unamused friend the second menu before he backed away. 

"Yes, thank you, Henry. He'll be back in a moment to take your orders. Please, enjoy your evening..." (y/n) told them politely, slinking off after the boy so that the couple could spend their time together alone. Passing through the curtain, she could finally breathe a sigh of relief, seeing her doofus and Schwoz working peacefully and waiting for their return. 

"How's it going?" Ray asked as he carefully chopped a lemon into slices, wary of getting any juice into his eye. It would accompany the appetisers they wanted to serve, and it didn't involve fire, thank goodness, but he'd been dying to poke his head through to the other room and see what was happening. 

"Oh, doofus, she really likes him, and they're both so shy and sweet. It's so cute!" (y/n) squealed, trudging over to him as best she could in her high heels and throwing her arms around his neck. Perhaps her affection wasn't practical or hygienic in a culinary space, but he pulled her against his immaculate uniform, which she noticed had a new pair of white pants. 

"Yeah? I'm glad it's going well, sweet girl," he replied with a bright smile, avoiding touching her body since his fingers were covered in lemon juice, but that didn't mean he couldn't bring her closer. Her lips found his jaw, smushing kisses across his cheek and neck as a rush of love and affection filled her body, spurred by the adorable date just a few metres away. 

"Do you remember our first date? You looked so handsome and spoiled me like you always do...' She mumbled, unaware she was smudging lipstick across his skin, leaving greasy marks for Henry and Schwoz to tease him, but he didn't mind. He was angling his chin to give her more access, quickly turning to mush. 

"I had to impress you, darlin'. Wanted to make you my girl," he replied, finding her sudden tenderness charming since she didn't usually show such physical affection so openly. It was the same when she watched her rom-coms; they encouraged her to show him how much she loved him because if others could do it, so could she. 

"I was always your girl. How could I not be?" She asked, stroking his face like she was drunk, clinging to his chef whites, even though he was busy. 

Whilst Schwoz seared the shrimp, Ray stepped away from his chopping board, wiped his hands on a cloth, and brought his pretty girl into his embrace, indifferent to the lipstick staining his collar. If anything, it made him proud. Henry rolled his eyes and disappeared through the curtain again, wanting to take their orders rather than see them make out, although he might get that on both sides. 

Ray hummed and held her waist, indulging in her exposed back and shoulders to return the butterfly kisses on her neck, pausing only when she growled after feeling his fingers play with her zipper. 

They were bordering innocence as it was, and she refused to cross the line with Schwoz in the room, despite his back being turned, so she pulled away, smirking at the mess she'd left behind, both her lipstick trail and his dilated pupils. 

"You're so lovely, doofus. I was yours the minute I met you..." 

~

Twenty minutes later, Henry had served Charlotte and her date their starters. Ever the loved-up couple they were, they'd gone with what Schwoz called his appetiser of lurveeee - a sharing platter of fried shrimp, salsa, and a little lemon for zing. 

It was all perfect; after a brief, polite check to ensure everything was all right with their food, (y/n) let them be, knowing overly attentive staff were as annoying as a housefly. Not. They were left to natter and eat to the gentle music of Piper's piano/phone whilst their waiter and hostess floated around the room, definitely not keeping an eye on them. 

"This place is so great. It's so private," Jack sighed as he stabbed at his food, grinning at his pretty date, who flustered under his charming gaze. 

"I know. It's so annoying how everyone stares at you everywhere you go," Charlotte agreed, despite knowing her friends were behind her. They were harmless, though, unlike the legions of fans that seemed to follow Jack everywhere, and they didn't take no for an answer.

"Yeah. It's so nice down here, just the two of us..." The handsome boy sighed, leaning on the table to stare dreamily into her eyes, only to look past her shoulder to see a small group observing their table - so much for subtlety. 

"And those guys over there with the hostess. Looking over her shoulder, Charlotte glared when she saw Ray, Henry and Schwoz grinning at her, with (y/n) smacking their arms for being so dumb. The genius had even brought a disposable camera to capture the cute moment forever; at least the woman tried to be sneaky, although it was hard to contain her squeals as she clutched her lover's bicep. What was that red-smudged stuff on his neck?

"Uh...don't you guys have to go cook our dinner or something?" She asked awkwardly, her back turned on Jack so she didn't see how soft and enamoured his eyes were--how much he adored her confidence and style. But (y/n) noticed, which made her want to smile, cry, and scream simultaneously. 

"Dinner's in the oven."

"We're all good," the chefs replied excitedly, practically buzzing, because their little Char was on a date! It made Ray feel oddly proud, like he was watching his daughter with a boy for the first time, but when he and Henry chuckled and nudged each other, she just groaned and huffed - unimpressed with their attention. 

But that wasn't so bad. The elevator dinged and opened; that was worse. Out stepped Jasper, looking rumpled and relaxed without his jacket, sleeves rolled up, and bow tie hanging around his neck. (y/n) She opened her mouth to question what he was doing, having told him to guard the store upstairs like usual, but the people following her made all the blood drain from her face.  

"Right this way. Table for two," he grinned as he courteously escorted two people across the room to a free table near Charlotte and Jack. The group that stood near the curtain gawped at him as he casually sat them down, acting without permission and against the plan. Who were these people, and why were they intruding on their special night?

"Uhhh..."

"Doofus, do something!" (y/n) hissed as she stared at the new couple, who smiled back and nodded politely like nothing was wrong. This was her worst nightmare, not having to serve more diners but something happening to ruin her date night, and she noticed how the women stared at the celebrity as they strolled past. They had an agenda, and it wasn't for Schwoz's prawns. 

"No! No, no, no! No, no, no!" Ray protested, trying to grab Jasper's elbow and chew his ear off, but it was useless. The kid was too caught up in his role. 

"This is Henry. He'll be taking care of you this evening. This is our lovely hostess, Miss (y/l/n), and she'll sort out any problems you have. Oh, and what a treat! You get to meet our chefs!"

"First question... Do we have any food allergies I need to worry about?" Schwoz questioned the couple as if he was a caring, tentative professional willing to cook anything they wanted. That is until Ray's large hands grabbed his and Jasper's shoulder, pulling them away for a small chat. 

"Give us a sec!" He requested the couple, but his voice was so tight and strained that it was more like a command. The boys gasped when he roughly dragged them into the kitchen, shoving them through the curtain so harshly that they nearly tripped, but they deserved it. Honestly, he was livid. Furious. Disappointed. 

"Who are those people?!" (y/n) snapped as she followed behind, crossing her arms as she stood side by side with her doofus, practically interrogating the boy. 

"I know that girl's name is Blaze because that's how she knew there was a secret restaurant down here," Jasper replied as Henry entered, frowning at the information. Was this girl psychic as well as possessing an odd name?

"What?!"

"Or her name wouldn't be Blaze," he clarified, but that didn't help. Seeing that Ray was about to rip his head off, the teen changed tactics, knowing this wasn't his fault, so he shouldn't be entirely punished. 

"Also, also, also, also--Piper posted a selfie with Jack Swagger."

"Well, that's just fabulous! God knows how many people will be on their way here now..." (y/n) groaned, turning to bury her face in Ray's chest. His arms came up to hold her to him - a small comfort - but she could sense the despair radiating from him as they turned away from the group, needing a second to themselves. 

"So, now the entire internet knows there's a secret restaurant underneath Junk-N-Stuff!" Schwoz added in frustration, glaring at Jasper, who didn't appear worried even though everyone blamed him for caving into the newcomers' demands. If he had just barricaded the door and said no, they wouldn't be in this mess - Ray could strangle him. 

"Afraid so. I'll probably be back later with more bad news---byeeeeee!" And just like that, it was no longer his problem. Jasper disappeared through the soundproof curtain, leaving the heroes and handyman to ponder their predicament because (y/n) was right. More people would be on their way. 

"I better start prepping. Henry, push the shrimp. Hard. I don't think I can get another day out of it," Schwoz instructed the boy, who exchanged a confused look with the couple because they weren't an actual restaurant. He remembered that, right?

"No, Schwoz. There won't be another day! This was supposed to be a one-night thing, not--not this!" (y/n) exclaimed as she threw her hands up to her forehead, wondering what they could do to convince everyone that their home wasn't an all-you-can-eat playground for their convenience, but Ray wanted to shout. He needed to blame someone. And he knew exactly who. 

"Piper! Get in here right now!"

"It's a soundproof curtain, dude," Henry sighed, watching as he barked at the silver shroud in vain. No matter how loud he was, she'd never hear him, not that Ray wanted to give in. 

"We'll see about that--Piper! Piper!" 

"Raymond, she's never going to hear you. She'll be too busy schmoozing people into giving her lots of tips," (y/n) told him, coming up from behind to soothingly stroke his back to stop him from shouting. The hero huffed and faced her, shaking with anger, but he never directed it at her, his arm turning limp as she hugged it to her body. 

"Well, there's a bunch of people in our Man Cave, sweet girl. You can't expect me just to stand here and not yell!--PIPER!" He replied grumpily, squeezing the hand resting on his arm before returning to his shouting. Outside, Piper continued playing, oblivious to his anger and any knowledge that she'd done anything wrong. 

"Yelling won't help, doofus!"

"Well, we have to do something! It's just a matter of time before someone sticks their stupid little head through this curtain and figures out what this restaurant really is!" He argued, and for once in his life, Ray was right. 

God forbid one of the diners became nosy and decided to talk to the chefs. Then, they'd see the Captain Man logo and realise they'd found his hideout, and they'd sneak around and possibly find their bedroom, and he'd lose his heaven on Earth. 

"You know, the doofus may have a point..." (y/n) murmured to Henry, who looked equally serious as they wondered what to do--just as a head poked through the curtain. 

"Hey, guys!" Jasper greeted his friends, scaring the shit out of them. He had more bad news, just like he said before disappearing. He looked at his best friend, who was still getting over the jump scare but was working hard and too busy to care, even when Ray glared at him for making (y/n) jump into his arms. 

"Henry. Just sat your parents down at table two. It's both their birthdays," he told him, winking and clicking his tongue before vanishing into the restaurant again, leaving them to their debate. But it seemed like the news hadn't sunk in for Henry, who blinked slowly and nodded whilst the couple tensed. 

"Okay, thanks, Jasper..." he smiled, looking at his boss and friend, but they looked...concerned? Well, Ray looked serious whilst (y/n) swallowed thickly, feeling her stomach drop, and it wasn't from whatever concoctions Schwoz was frying up. She hated visiting that woman, let alone seeing her anywhere else, and now, she was in her home. Oh, God--the enemy had come amongst them. 

"My parents?!" Henry gasped, the realisation hitting him like he'd run into a brick wall. Terrified that they'd see him or discover he worked in the Man Cave, he dashed to poke his head through the curtain, and there they were. 

Sitting by the elevator, his mom and dad were enjoying a quiet date night together--or at least, they were trying to. Any romance between Mr Hart's hawk-induced injuries and paranoia was hard to find. And, dear God, she looked beautiful. The ever-lovely Mrs Hart sitting back and frowning at her uninterested husband, but even with the sourpuss face, she looked radiant. 

And if that wasn't bad enough, Jasper appeared again, ferrying yet more guests into the restaurant, which, unfortunately for them, was at full capacity. Not one to send hungry - well, thirsty - teenage girls away, Jasper made do with spreading a blanket out for them to sit on, but they didn't mind because they just wanted to stare at Jack Swagger. 

Suddenly, he and Charlotte felt like goldfish in a glass bowl, looking out at the world as it observed their every move and took a million pics. 

"Are your parents really here?" Ray asked as the kid retreated, having seen enough to know the date was quickly heading into disaster. 

"Yes," he confirmed, and that designated an emergency for Ray. And what do emergencies call for? Flares. Pulling one from his back pocket, he bit the cap off in his usual fashion, thinking they could flash their way to safety, only for (y/n) to snatch it off him. 

"Stop that, doofus! No more flares!" She scolded him, yanking the flare off him and dunking it in a big pot of soup or something similar. She gave him a sharp look with the potential fire put out but returned to his side, thinking things couldn't get worse. 

"Also, Jasper keeps bringing in more people!" And it got worse. 

"Ayyyy, what are we gonna do?!" Schwoz panicked, thinking they were screwed since they'd eventually run out of room, and there'd only be one place for people to go. 

"Well, there's only one thing we can do..." (y/n) sighed, rapidly forming a plan that even Gordon Ramsay would be proud of. Anything to save the restaurant she'd never wanted in the first place, but perhaps they could keep the last few scraps of Charlotte's date. 

However, Ray saw things differently, and his idea was a tad more...final. Thinking this was the end, he took his last resort, tearing his chef's jack open in an insanely hot tug, revealing the circle of flares he'd taped to his stomach over his undershirt. So that's where he kept getting them from. 

"We burn this place to the ground," he growled, never taking his dark eyes off his sweet girl, even as his white buttons flew everywhere, and she gulped at the small peeks of his bulging muscles. 

"You and I retire, darlin'. We move to a quiet house in the middle of nowhere, have four kids, and never have to think about this again. Just say the words, and I'm yours..."

"Okay, just let me gather some precious photos..." Schwoz sighed, thinking he was moving too, but Ray wrinkled his nose. Er, no; his happily ever after didn't involve Schwoz living in, and he'd had enough of that for the past God knows how many years. Just him and his, hopefully, wife, who'd sort of short-circuited. 

"No, no, no, no! Thanks for the offer, doofus, but we can't ruin this date for Charlotte, okay? Maybe in a few years..." She smiled at him gently, sweeping her hands over his chest as he huffed in disappointment, knowing his dream was still out of reach. Getting closer, but not here yet. 

"We've got to keep cooking and convince these people this is a real restaurant."

"(y/n) is right. We have to do this for Charlotte," Schwoz agreed, thinking he'd never forgive himself if he let the girl down, knowing he could've done something. She'd look back on tonight and cry, something he couldn't stand, not when she saw this Jack boy once in a blue moon. 

"And then, tomorrow, we'll just say it's closed forever."

"Because of a fire!" Ray smirked, pulling yet another flare from the collection on his waist and lighting it. His eyes trained on the flame, making him seem like a pyromaniac, given how obsessed he appeared to be with them tonight. 

"A fake fire!" (y/n) corrected, confiscating the stick and sticking it where she left the old one. The noise of the flames sizzling out made Ray pout and punch his bottom lip, but she was a girl on a mission, and as adorable as he was, she wouldn't let her ship sink. 

"But tonight...we're gonna give those people the best and only dinner service of our lives. Who's me with?"

"I'm in. Let's do this for Charlotte!" Schwoz exclaimed enthusiastically, beaming at the woman as she held out her hand to pile them up. Henry added his hand to the stack with a determined nod, ready to do anything for his friend in her hour of need, and Ray...well, he wasn't a big romance guy, not when it came to other people. 

"And fire!" At least he had spirit? But when his support included adding a lit flare to the pile - above the boy and genius's very burnable flesh, (y/n) drew the line. He was pushing his luck tonight...

"Ayyyy!"

"Doofus! What did I say?"

"Oh, I'm sorry..." Ray muttered, hating her disappointed look, so he quickly licked his palm and stubbed out the flare, but she hated that just as much. Absolutely, it hurt him, and whilst they annoyed her, she couldn't bear that. 

"Just...behave yourself, you big doofus..."

"Around you? Oh, I don't think I can do that, sweet girl." She could smack that smirk off his face, swat the hand on her butt, and tell him to get to work. But if she was completely honest, she couldn't behave herself either. Not when he had his arms out and lips leaning down to find hers. 

~

She still made them work hard, though. With Henry cranking up the boom box, the hostess with the most-ess told her chefs and waiter to cook like they'd never cooked before, to bang out every order on time, hot and perfect, and you know what? They did as she asked. 

On her whistle and command, the boys ran to their stations; a literal fire lit under Ray's ass as he struck another flare, but she didn't have the time or patience to tell him off again. It was go, go, go, and if pyrotechnics made him work faster, she didn't care. 

(y/n) called out the orders. Schwoz was on salads. Henry was on sauces. Ray was doing God knows what--dancing or some shit, but they made a good team, caramelising dishes with more flares, chopping vegetables like it was Kill Bill, and taking the heat like there was no pressure at all. 

It was hot, stressful work, and (y/n) had to dab her doofus' brow numerous times, bribing him with kisses every time he scored a victory whilst the diners relaxed outside. They weren't rebelling and demanding the head chef's head yet, so the team ploughed on, seasoning tray bakes and tossing noodles all over the stove. 

Ray would be the one cleaning that up. 

They even took the time to properly salt a sliced filet mignon, scattering the tiny crystals high over the meat like true connoisseurs, echoing some old meme or something. 

Ultimately, it turned into a game, and as the final dish went into the oven, things began to get out of hand. Ray would've killed them if she didn't spot him in time, playing with flares again as Henry and Schwoz tasted their secret sauce. 

The hostess told him off for that, but she couldn't talk when they sloped off for five minutes to have a quiet word against the fridge. Henry wasn't sure how much talking was done, but he was confident (y/n) wouldn't say much with Ray's tongue down her throat. 

"Is that everything?" She asked when everything was finally cooked, plated and ready to go. They had sixteen plates for sixteen hungry mouths, and it was quite the balancing act getting them to fit in their arms, but they made it work. Tonight, they all pitched in, from the glamourous leading lady to the scrawny waiter. 

"Yeah, we're ready," Henry nodded, loading up his last plate in the crook of his arm. This was it, the opening and ending night of Füd, and it couldn't come soon enough. With a final nod, Ray pushed through the curtain, smiling brightly as they followed and tried not to drop the food. That would be a disaster, but not as bad as what was - or wasn't - in front of them. 

"Dinner is ser--" They announced, but it died when they looked across the room to see no one. Literally, not a single soul. 

Earlier, they'd had a full house, a restaurant filled with happy, hungry, beaming customers, yet now it was like a ghost town - tables abandoned like there'd been a mad rush for the exits. And suspiciously, the only thing left that symbolised life had ever been there was a single, spotted, grey feather.

"Where did all the peoples go?" Schwoz asked in horror, a cocktail of emotions swirling inside him as the suspicion that all their hard work was for nothing grew. 

"Looks like they left," Henry said, observing the crinkled tablecloths and crooked cutlery, which showed the diners sat there once. 

"Blinding observation..." (y/n) deadpanned, throwing him a dry countenance because they could see that.  

"Rude..." Ray remarked, feeling like a moron as they stood there holding enough food to feed an army, but the military had buggered off. He'd paid a lot of money for this service, and they'd just left...gutted was the word he'd use, especially since he'd given up a night in bed to cook. 

"That is rude, doofus. What do we do now?" The woman pouted, thinking all their effort was for nothing - failure wasn't something she was used to. She was (y/n), the girl who got As in every test, won every award going and planned everything perfectly, but there she was. Plates full of delicious food and no one to eat it. It sucked, and Ray couldn't stand to see her sad. 

"Let's hit the showers," he suggested, which was the perfect suggestion for the boys. Without a care in the world, they threw their dishes on the floor, not bothered if the food smushed into the carpets or if the porcelain shattered across the floor to all corners of the room. 

"Doofus! Henry! Schwoz!" (y/n) gasped, shocked at the bold move as they ruined her beautifully clean floors, but when she moved to tell him he was sleeping on the couch for the next year, Ray already had a plan. 

A sharp smack landed on her ass, making her squeak and jolt, shocking the plates out of her arms too, and when they hit the ground, she became one of them. Her cheeks felt like they were on fire, watching as Schwoz waddled to the showers whilst Ray curled an arm around her shoulders, looking like the cat who got the cream now that she was free to slip out of that dress. 

"Stop!" Henry complained, feeling like he needed to scrub the inside of his eyelids as the couple walked off. He'd never get that image out of his head, but Ray didn't give a shit. There was only one thing he wanted to get out: his sweet girl out of her gown and into his bed. 

"Stop!" He begged them, reluctantly trailing the couple, meaning he had to watch his boss' hand slip down the woman's back, heading further south, millimetre by millimetre. 

"Love is in the air, Henry!" Ray called out, happily guiding his sweet girl to the shower block, and he only focused on the kid because he loved winding him up. Did he know by now that it was physically impossible for him to do that?

"Yeah, well, Love should keep his hands to himself..." 

"Don't say that. It's literally how we ended up here in the first place. You know I find him irresistible," (y/n) joined in, stopping her doofus in the hallway so she could give her lover a quick smooch--so that Henry had to freeze and hear the kissy-kissy noises. 

The sound of his retching made them laugh, teasing that he did the same with all the girlfriends he went through, but the kid argued it wasn't the same. No one ever compared to their relationship, and Henry could honestly say that he expected them to last forever. That's what they had - forever and ever and ever. 

Ray and (y/n) - it had a timeless ring to it. 

"And you know she's the only girl for me..."

[smokeclan-oc]

Echolight - sleek grey tom with vibrant green eyes

Family: Jackdawhum (father), Sleekmane (uncle), Jayflight (mother), Bluefeather (sister) Gender / Sexuality: tom / gay  Personality: soft, gentle, confident, alert Backstory: Echolight was chosen to be a response warrior during his apprenticeship. When he took his trip to the Crystal Caves, he was offered the opportunity to go inside. Echolight is one of the few cats not a leader or medicine cat who shares dreams with Starclan. He is chosen for his warm heart and the way he can instill confidence in others. Able to calm down a panicked group, or gain the attention of a rowdy crowd, Echolight is often the response warrior soothing a queen when her kits go missing, or assuring a worried starving clan that Starclan will melt the ice on the water.  Echolight is still a skilled hunter and fighter, though most of his skills are on the hunting side. A great fisher, he’s fast and stealthy, which is the reason he can handle himself in battle well, though he has never come close to taking a life. Ideal Partner: the battle worn response warrior who loves coming home to their soft cuddley warm sweet bf, the new response warrior who looks to Echo with admiration, the newly made medicine cat who isn’t good at calming down their patients but Echo is Position | Clan: Response Warrior | Brookclan 

Beaverfur - sleek brown shecat with dark points and yellow eyes

Family: Mudstep (father), Brownpuddle (mother), Pikesplash (brother) Gender / Sexuality: she-cat / bisexual  Personality: responsive, good listener, good advice giver, smart, can be focused and on task no matter what emotions get in the way  Backstory: Beaverfur was a strong apprentice, earning herself a warrior name, and a title of Response Warrior. Each clan has three to five Response warriors, in charge of responding to emergency situations in any part of the forest, though mostly in their own territory. If a kit goes missing they are called, if a fire starts in another part of the forest they go to help.  Being a fast runner and strong swimmer, Beaverfur was the obvious choice. All the Response warriors have a schedule so at least two are awake at one time. Beaverfur takes the shift from sun high to dawn. These chosen cats are often seen as heros in the clans, thanks to being there when trouble happens.  Beaverfur has already saved an apprentice from drowning, aided Frostclan in killing a fox, and drove off a badger from their territory. She’s young, and well respected. She’s good at what she does.  Ideal Partner: savior complex, fellow EMT from another clan or shift, someone who got passed up for the position who always tags along  Position | Clan: Response Warrior | Brookclan

Koisplash - pale tortie calico shecat

Family: Puddlestep (father), Fadingstream (father), Frogcatcher (brother)  Gender / Sexuality: shecat / bisexual Personality: sweet, smart, empathetic, upbeat Backstory: Koisplash is the response warrior in charge of apprentice training. Newly made warrior, Koisplash was chosen to follow after her mentors pawsteps and become a trainer. With her fitting into the role, her mentor Sharkbite, retired. Koisplash is only a few moons older than the oldest apprentice, which means she needs the support of mentors in order to do her job well. For the most part she gets cooperation, besides the few who have a hard time seeing her with respect. Sharpbite was a gruff older Tom, and Koisplash tries to live up to his expectations.  She’s a smart shecat who can see peoples flaws, see their strengths, and judge them accordingly. Her opinion on the clans duties are taken with high regard Ideal Partner: the top mentor, a fighter type warrior, someone who is grumpy but loves their effervescent queen Position | Clan: Response Warrior | Brookclan

[staticfog]

Tag Dump

-

[hawksugarbaby]

Loki x reader-

Lamentis - 1

Smut

Chapter includes: Angry fucking, knife play-ish, slight blood play, hair pulling, choking, degredation (giving + recieving), sucking on fingers. 

You panicked as you and Loki sprinted to a tiny shack to haul up in, his hand wrapped around your wrist in a vice grip to move you out of the way of the falling debris but your panic was batting with your irritation. Of course he brought you here, the once place you had an overly high chance of dying as the world caved in above you and meteors struck the ground lighting up craters under your feet. 

Loki ripped the door open pushing you inside and slammed it closed behind him. You huffed and held your knees trying to catch your breath as Loki watched the world end from a tiny window then walked over to you holding your face gently. “Are you okay? You’re not hurt are you?” he asked, checking for anything from a minor cut to a broken arm and you shook your head pulling his hands off of your cheeks and turning around. You growled in annoyance at your situation and your fingers curled into a claw shape signaling if he wasn’t careful with his words he would be choked to death. 

“DID YOU EVEN LOOK!” you shouted but you were still facing the wall, knowing you would feel guilty if you turned around, it wasn’t his fault you ended up here but you wanted to be angry because of where you were. If you turned around it would be impossible to be angry. 

“Look? Look at what?” he asked, his sapphire eye’s drifting below your waist to look at your ass jiggle when you impatiently tap your foot. And he resists the urge to grab the soft flesh and pull you towards him. 

“At the temp-pad! We’re stuck on Lamentis-1 you Idiot!” you hiss and spin around again feeling the sting of your own words that he didn’t show any hurt towards. However you didn’t need to see his reaction to tell they hurt. 

Loki blinked and stepped forward, flicking his dagger from his sleeve and pressing the tip to your neck. “I could kill you.” 

His words are an empty threat and you know it but you can’t help but tempt him and toy with him. Spill the anger until it floods into his cup and you argue then makeup with a soft kiss you wouldn’t want from anyone else. The best kisses are after the worst fights when you’re desperate to make it up to each other because you’ve missed holding his hand or he hasn’t braided your hair in too long and he misses the feeling of your soft locks weaving between his fingers. 

“Go for it then” you whisper and lean forward, digging the point of the blade slightly further into your neck, moving away from drawing blood. “You’re highness.” 

It’s filled with venom, the way you say his title and it’s probably the reason he moves so quickly pushing you against a wall and switch the position of the blade so the whole edge is lying on your throat and Loki’s leg is wedged between your thighs his other hand slammed against the wall next to your head caging you in. “Don’t call me that” he growled. 

You try to avoid moving, knowing his leg is dangerously close but you need to shift the weight from your tippy toes to the heels of your feet, accidently grazing your clothed pussy on his thigh and you mewl quietly at the contact. your face begins to burn an electric pink and you turn your face away looking at anything but Loki. surely he didn’t hear it. It’s impossible it was so insanely quiet so no he couldn’t have heard it. 

The cold, flat, metal of his dagger pressed against your cheek and turned your face towards him, a light dusting of pink gracing his cheeks and a smirk pulling on his lips. His hands slipped down to your waist pulling you down so you were straddling his thick thigh “Oh dear pet it seems you just can’t stay mad at me can you?” he purred in your ear and you watched your reflection in the blade, witnessing your pupils dilate and red creeps up your cheeks while your chest heaves in and out and he pushes his thigh against you drawing a soft whine. “You sound pretty like that.” 

His laugh is smooth like butter and you swallow thickly “you think I sound pretty anyway” he twirls your hair around his fingers and let’s the knife drop slightly “you couldn’t kill me anyway. You love me too much” you roll your eyes and he grins leaning forward to catch your lips between his. You warp your arms behind his neck leaning further into the heated kiss grinding on Loki’s knee for friction. 

His hand curls around more hair innocently until it’s gripped and pulled back yanking your head backwards. a string of saliva connects your lips and your unmatched panting fills the room. “We need to leave” he reminds you, turning your head toward the small slit for a window in the metal and pulling your hips closer to his bulge straining against his trousers and you bite back a moan. 

“We wouldn’t need to leave if you’d looked at the fucking temp-pad.”

Before you could blink Loki’s hand was wrapped around your neck squeezing the sides and you were robbed of air. His other hand fumbled with his gleaming belt buckle and unzipped his torn trousers, singed around the cuffs from the heat of the meteor impact. “I think we have time. I am an idiot though so how would I know” he hissed hiking up your short skirt and ripping your opaque tights to reveal your soaked underwear. “Aw look at you darling your dripping just thinking about me” he hummed. 

You coughed and he loosened his hand around your neck still keeping it there, his thumb running up and down gently. “Sorry love I’m actually thinking of fucking Judge Renslayer behind the bar” you tease back and he growls rubbing his other hand against your folds and manouvered his fingers around the fabric of your underwear dipping into your cunt. “A-ahh~ you’d love that wouldn’t you hm? Want me to cockwarm you behind the bar while you're on trial, with everyone watching. Just a pretty whore for everyone to see” his cock twitches in his boxers and he pulls the grey fabric down releasing his length from it’s constraints. 

The tip of his cock hits his stomach making a wet patch on his white shirt and you reach for it immediately. Loki swats your hand away earning a glare in betrayal and he chuckled heartily “what? Does my slut want my cock? I thought I was useless? How could I make you feel good, pet?” he shoots your words back at you only for you to reach for his cock again. His hand tightens around your neck once again and he pins you back against the wall. “Cat got your tongue?” he snickers. 

“No I just don’t think I should waste my words on someone who got us stuck in an apocalypse” you croak, words dripping with poison that could corrode the blade of his knife that was now laying on the floor. His fingers slowly pumping inside you ran up your slit and his thumb ran circles around your clit making you quiver against the wall and he pulled your underwear to the side lining up his cock with your entrance. 

“How lucky I didn’t want to hear you talk anyway” his cock pushed inside you quickly and he let go of your throat grabbing your hair instead and pulling back your head. You gasped for air gulping down breaths and his cold lips travelled up your throat leaving a dark plum mark on the base of your throat. 

He thrust slowly, the edge of your lacy underwear dragging along his cock as your soft walls enveloped him forcing a groan. You moaned loudly and gripped his shoulders pushing your hips forward to swallow his whole length. “Fuck Loki~” you sang dropping one of your hands to rub your clit. “You're so big oh jeez” you moan. He smirked to himself and began to thrust faster at an even pace earning gentle whines with each thrust of his hips. You squeezed your eyes shut unwilling to see the satisfied look on his face knowing he’d got what he wanted, your submission and your silence and you could envision the shit eating grin on his face as he pummeled his cock into you ruthlessly taking out all the aggression you’d spoken into him on you. 

“Am I still a disappointment? It sounds like you approve of me after all. I fear there’s been a miscommunication?” he growled nibbling on the lobe of your ear. 

You lolled your head to the side whimpering into the humid air. “Y-you haven’t made me cum yet. I don’t… I don’t think someone as incompetent as you could do such a thing a-anyway” you gasp through heavy breaths and Loki’s thumb brushes the front of your neck making your breath hitch and your words catch in your throat. 

“Aw sorry pet I wanted to be gentle with you and take my time but I see you don’t deserve that today” he flicks his hand out and in a puff of green smoke the dagger flies into his hand and up to your throat. “What a cute little whore you're being for me” his finger swipes over the gleaming blade that was inches away from taking your life. Every time Loki thrust into you the blade slipped and slightly grazed your skin, a pearl of blood trickled down your neck and if you didn’t love the god in front of you with your whole heart you’d fear he’d take your life. 

“I’d argue you’re the whore, taking me here at the end of the world even when we’re at each other's necks. Such a slut” you bite. 

Loki chuckles and shakes his head resting in the crook of your neck while still drilling his cock into you. Your stomach began to feel tight and your moans were breathier, higher pitched, more frequent. 

“I disagree darling this feels very fitting” his gentle tone is a break in the waves for you to swim and you roll your head back to look at his sapphire eye’s and brush the hair plastered to his forehead with sweat off of his face. 

“Maybe your right” you whisper leaning in to capture his lips with yours and the fine edge of the blade dug slightly further into your flesh drawing dribbles of red along the dagger. “Would you still kill me if you could?” you wipe the red staining the lapels of your blazer, the remaining trickles meeting between your cleavage, made apparent by the plunging neckline of your dress. 

“Why would I do that when we can have fun like this?” he chuckled and thrust his hips harshly to emphasise his point. 

You can see your orgasm dangling on a frayed string in front of you. Just one more string. 

One more push. 

One more cut. 

“Coward” you hum. Your eye’s dance with mischief and Loki still’s leaning closer to you but removing the knife from your neck. If he punishes you, he can do it himself without a ridiculous knife. 

“Speak up pet I’m not sure I heard you?” he laughs, dragging his hand between your breasts and smearing the blood further down your chest. His hand latches to your breast and you gasp at the gentle massaging of your breast, his rough fingers tweaking your nipple, staining the swell of your chest red. “I thought I heard you call me a coward.” 

You chuckle followed by a moan as his hips slowly restart pumping into you. “Oh wonderful, your hearing still works.” 

He growls and shoves 2 of his fingers in your mouth, the salty metallic taste of your blood clinging to his skin and he drills his hips into you at speeds only a god could achieve. Your stomach crunches and your eye’s roll back, searing hot pleasure rolling over you and vision going white. Velvety walls clamp around Loki’s cock and he grunts struggling to move with you sucking him in. he takes his fingers out your mouth and grips your waist after wiping the digits on his jacket “darling if you keep this up i’m going to- FUCK” he shouts in response to you rutting your hips towards his desperate for his cum. 

“Come on your highness you wouldn’t want to let me down now would you” you pant. He grunts slowly rocking his hips against yours with your walls fluttering around him and his jagged breath tickles your cheek. The thrusts begin to slow and get sloppier, untimed and you roll your hips to meet his lazily. 

“Where?” he asks bluntly. 

You shake your head closing your eyes and rest your head backwards on the wall speaking into the air. “Don’t care” you moan lewdly and a string of curses leave Loki’s lips. 

“I’m cumming” he groans stilling his hips inside you as he shoots thick ropes of white cum into you painting your walls white. 

You both catch your breath and hold each other to your chests clinging like safety nets. Loki pulls out of you and tucks himself back into his trousers admiring his cum seeping out of you. “Are you quite satisfied?” he asks, glancing up at you leaning against the wall. 

“Of course I am. You always leave me satisfied love” you drop your skirt back down so it covers mid thigh and shuffle over to him. “You know I don’t mean what I said yes?” you stroke his cheek gently and he nods, tucking your hair behind your ear. 

“Of course darling. And you know I’d never kill you” he reassures you, not that you needed the reassuring in the first place but it’s comforting that he feels the need to tell you. “Let’s leave the knife out of it next time however” he nod’s to your neck waving a hand over it to fix the wound. 

you shrug and chuckle “I don’t know I liked it” you pull at your ripped tights sticking to your thighs and fix your underwear “any chance you can do something about the mess you made” you giggle. He begins to raise his hand before his eyes go wide watching outside the window and he pulls you toward him turning so he was covering you like a shield as a blast of heat went off around you. 

“Can it wait until we escape the apocalypse?” he asks in a hurry, opening the door and guiding you out by the small of your back. 

You nod and rip off the tights completely feeling as though you’d be more comfortable walking around in no tights than sticky ripped ones. “Definitely” you say and both take off in a sprint. 

[sk1fanfiction]

the many faces of tom riddle, part 4

-attachment, orphanages, and yet more child psych: time to add yet another voice to the void-

FULL DISCLAIMER THAT THIS IS JUST MY OPINION OF A CHARACTER WHO DOESN’T HAVE THE STRONGEST CANON CHARACTERIZATION, AND THUS ALL THIS IS BASED ON MY CONCEPTUALIZATION.

I'm going to be super biased, because my favorite portrayal of Tom Riddle is actually Hero Fiennes-Tiffin as eleven-year-old Tom Riddle, in HBP and I get to chat about child psych in this one, sooo here we go.

First of all, I’m just so impressed that a kid could bring that much depth to such a complex character.

This is the portrayal, I feel, that brings us closest to Tom’s character. Yes, Coulson’s brought us pretty close, but by fifth year, the mask was on.

We don't really get to see Tom looking afraid very often, but it's fear that rules his life, so it's really poignant in our first (chronologically) introduction, he looks absolutely terrified.

The void being the fandom's loud opinions on a certain headmaster. I wouldn't call myself pro-Dumbledore, but I'm certainly not anti-Dumbledore, either. (Agnostic-Dumbledore??)

Since I'm not of the anti-Dumbledore persuasion, I decided to poke around in the tags and see what the arguments were, so I don't make comments out of ignorance.

Most of the tag seems to be more directed towards his treatment of Harry and Sirius, but a few people mentioned that Dumbledore should have treated Tom with ‘exceptional kindness’ and tried to ‘rehabilitate’ him.

As I said in Parts 2 and 3, I am 100% in favor of helping a traumatized kid learn to cope, and I don’t think Tom Riddle was solidly on the Path to Evil (TM) at birth, or even at eleven. Not even at fifteen.

Could unconditional love and kindness have helped Tom Riddle enough for the rise of Lord Voldemort to never happen? Possibly, but...

Yes, I'm about to drag up that Carl Jung quote, again.

“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”

The problem with this is that if you’re going to blame Dumbledore for this, you also have to blame every other adult in Tom’s life: his headmaster, Dippet, his Head of House, Slughorn, his ‘caretakers’ at the orphanage, Mrs. Cole and Martha, and possibly more. In fact, if we're going to blame any adult, let's blame Merope for r*ping and abusing Tom Riddle Senior, and having a kid she wasn't intending to take care of.

Furthermore, you cannot possibly hold anyone but Tom accountable for the murders he committed. (I should not have to sit here and explain why cold-blooded murder is wrong.) And if you like Tom Riddle's character, insinuating that his actions are completely at the whim of others is just a bit condescending towards him. He's not an automaton or a marionette, he's a very intelligent human being with a functioning brain, and at sixteen is fully capable of moral reasoning and critical analysis.

I've heard the theories about Dumbledore setting the Potters up to die, and I'm not going to discuss their validity right now; but he didn't put a wand in Tom's hand and force him to kill anyone. Tom did it all of his own accord.

And while yes, I have enormous sympathy for what happened to Tom as a child, at some point, he decided to murder Myrtle Warren, and that is where I lose my sympathy. Experiencing trauma does not give you the right to inflict harm on others. Yes, Tom was failed, but then, he spectacularly failed himself.

We also have no idea how Dumbledore treated Tom as a student.

In the movies, it’s Dumbledore who tells Tom he has to go back to the orphanage, but in the books, it’s Dippet. We know that Slughorn spent a lot of time around Tom at Slug Club and such, yet I don’t really see people clamoring for his head.

I regard the sentiment that Dumbledore turned Tom Riddle into Lord Voldemort with a lot of skepticism.

But let's hear from the character himself -- his impression of eleven-year-old Tom Riddle.

“Did I know that I had just met the most dangerous Dark wizard of all time?” said Dumbledore. “No, I had no idea that he was to grow up to be what he is. However, I was certainly intrigued by him. I returned to Hogwarts intending to keep an eye upon him, something I should have done in any case, given that he was alone and friendless, but which, already, I felt I ought to do for others’ sake as much as his."

Now, assuming that Dumbledore's telling the truth, I'm not seeing something glaringly wrong with this. No, he hasn't pigeonholed Tom as evil, yes, I'd be intrigued, too, and it's a very good idea to keep an eye on Tom, for his own sake.

“At Hogwarts,” Dumbledore went on, “we teach you not only to use magic, but to control it. You have — inadvertently, I am sure — been using your powers in a way that is neither taught nor tolerated at our school."

Again, it seems like he's at least somewhat sympathetic towards Tom, and is willing to at least give him a chance.

More evidence (again, assuming Dumbledore is a reliable narrator):

Harry: “Didn’t you tell them [the other professors], sir, what he’d been like when you met him at the orphanage?” Dumbledore: “No, I did not. Though he had shown no hint of remorse, it was possible that he felt sorry for how he had behaved before and was resolved to turn over a fresh leaf. I chose to give him that chance.”

Now, I think Dumbledore is pretty awful with kids, but I don't think that's malicious. Yeah, it's a flaw, but perfect people don't exist, and perfect characters are dead boring. I am not saying that he definitely handled Tom's case well, I'm just saying that there's little evidence that Dumbledore, however shaken and scandalized, wrote him off as 'evil snake boy.'

It's also worth taking into account that it's 1938, and the attitudes towards mental health back then.

Why is Tom looking at Dumbledore like that, anyway? Why is he so scared? What has he possibly been threatened with or heard whispers of?

"'Professor'?" repeated Riddle. He looked wary. "Is that like 'doctor'? What are you here for? Did she get you in to have a look at me?"

"I don't believe you," said Riddle. "She wants me looked at, doesn't she? Tell the truth!"

"You can't kid me! The asylum, that's where you're from, isn't it? 'Professor,' yes, of course -- well, I'm not going, see? That old cat's the one who should be in the asylum. I never did anything to little Amy Benson or Dennis Bishop, and you can ask them, they'll tell you!

Tom keeps insisting he's not mad until Dumbledore finally manages to calm him down.

I'm really upset this wasn't in the movie, because it's important context. Instead we got these throwaway cutscenes of some knick-knacks relating to the Cave he's got lying around, but I just would have preferred to see him freaking out like he does in the book.

There was extreme stigma and prejudice towards mental illness.

'Lunatic asylums,' as they were called in Tom's time, were terrible places. In the 1930s and 40s, he could look forward to being 'treated' with induced convulsions, via metrazol, insulin, electroshock, and malaria injections. And if he stuck around long enough, he could even look forward to a lobotomy!

So, if you think Dumbledore was judgmental towards Tom, imagine how flat-out prejudiced whatever doctors or 'experts' Mrs. Cole might have gotten in to 'look at him' must have been!

Moving on to the next few shots, he is sitting down and hunched over as if expecting punishment or at least some kind of bad news, Dumbledore is mostly out of the frame. He’s trapped visually, by Dumbledore on one side, and a wall on the other, because he’s still very much afraid. uncomfortable, as he tells Dumbledore a secret that he fears could get him committed to an asylum (which were fucking horrible places, as I said).

It brings to the scene that miserable sense of isolation and loneliness to that has defined Tom’s entire life up to that point (and, partially due to his own bad choices, continues to define it).

And, when Dumbledore accepts it, his posture changes. he becomes more confident and more at ease, as he describes the... utilities of his magical abilities. 

"All sorts," breathed Riddle. A flush of excitement was rising up his neck into his hollow cheeks; he looked fevered. "I can make things move without touching them. I can make animals do what I want them to do, without training them. I can make bad things happen to people who annoy me. I can make them hurt if I want to."

Riddle lifted his head. His face was transfigured: There was a wild happiness upon it, yet for some reason it did not make him better looking; on the contrary, his finely carved features seemed somehow rougher, his expression almost bestial.

I do think Harry, our narrator, is being a tad bit judgmental here. Magic is probably the only thing that brings Tom happiness in his grey, lonely world, and when I was Tom's age and being bullied, if I had magic powers, you'd better believe that I'd (a) be bloody ecstatic about it (b) use them. And, like Tom, I can't honestly say that I can't imagine getting a bit carried-away with it. Unfortunately, we can't all be as inherently good and kindhearted as Harry.

Reading HBP again, as a 'mature' person, it almost seems like the reader is being prompted to see Tom as evil just because he's got 'weird' facial expressions.

So... uh...

Nope, let's judge Tom on his actions, not looks of 'wild happiness.'

To his great surprise, however, Dumbledore drew his wand from an inside pocket of his suit jacket, pointed it at the shabby wardrobe in the corner, and gave the wand a casual flick. The wardrobe burst into flames. Riddle jumped to his feet; Harry could hardly blame him for howling in shock and rage; all his worldly possessions must be in there. But even as Riddle rounded on Dumbledore, the flames vanished, leaving the wardrobe completely undamaged.

Okay, one thing I dislike is Tom's lack of emotional affect when Dumbledore burned the wardrobe, in the books, he jumped up and started screaming, instead of looking passively (in shock, perhaps?) at the fire. Incidentally, I can't really tell if he's impressed or in shock, to be honest. I think they really tried to make Tom 'creepier' in the movie.

This is one of the incidents where Dumbledore's inability to deal with children crops up.

I think he was trying to teach Tom that magic can be dangerous, and he wouldn't like it to be used against him, but burning the wardrobe that contains everything he owns was a terrible move on Dumbledore's part. Tom already has very limited trust in other people, and now, he's not going to trust Dumbledore at all -- now, he's put Tom on the defensive/offensive for the rest of their interaction, and perhaps for the rest of their teacher-student relationship.

Riddle stared from the wardrobe to Dumbledore; then, his expression greedy, he pointed at the wand. "Where can I get one of them?"

"Where do you buy spellbooks?" interrupted Riddle, who had taken the heavy money bag without thanking Dumbledore, and was now examining a fat gold Galleon.

But I'm not surprised Tom is 'greedy.' He's grown up in an environment where if he wants something, whether that's affection, food, money, toys, he's got to take it. There's no one looking after his needs specifically. I'm not surprised that he's a thief and a hoarder, and I don't think that counts as a moral failing necessarily, and more of a maladaptive way of seeking comfort. It would be bizarre if he came out of Wool's Orphanage a complete saint.

Additionally, I think given that the Gaunt family has a history of 'mental instability,' Tom is a sensitive child, and the trauma of growing up institutionalized and possibly being treated badly due to his magical abilities or personality disorder deeply affected him.

And there are points where it seems that Dumbledore is quick to judge Tom.

"He was already using magic against other people, to frighten, to punish, to control."

"Yes, indeed; a rare ability, and one supposedly connected with the Dark Arts, although as we know, there are Parselmouths among the great and the good too. In fact, his ability to speak to serpents did not make me nearly as uneasy as his obvious instincts for cruelty, secrecy, and domination."

"I trust that you also noticed that Tom Riddle was already highly self-sufficient, secretive, and, apparently, friendless?..."

And while this is all empirically true, these are (a) a product of Tom's harsh environment, and (b) do not necessarily make him evil. But the point remains that child psych didn't exist as a field of its own, and psychology as a proper science was in its infancy, so I'd be shocked if Dumbledore was insightful about Tom's situation.

But I've gone a ton of paragraphs without citing anything, so I've got to rectify that.

Let's talk about Harry Harlow's monkey experiments in the 1950-70s.

If you're not a fan of animal research, since I know some people are uncomfortable with it, feel free to scroll past.

Here's the TL;DR: Children need to be hugged and shown affection too, not just fed and clothed, please don't leave babies to 'cry out' and ignore their needs because it's backwards and fucking inhumane. HUG AND COMFORT AND CODDLE CHILDREN AND SPOIL THEM WITH AFFECTION!

I will put more red writing when the section is over.

This is still an interesting experiment to have in mind while we explore the whole 'no one taught Tom Riddle how to love' thing and whether or not it's actually a good argument.

Andddd let's go all the way back to the initial 1958 experiment, featured in Harlow's paper, the Nature of Love. (If you're familiar with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, him and Harlow actually collaborated for a time).

To give you an idea of our starting point, until Harlow's experiment, which happened twenty years after Dumbledore meets Tom for the first time, no one in science had really been interested in studying love and affection.

"Psychologists, at least psychologists who write textbooks, not only show no interest in the origin and development of love or affection, but they seem to be unaware of its very existence."

I'm going to link some videos of Harry Harlow showing the actual experiment, which animal rights activists would probably consider 'horrifying.' It's nothing gory or anything, but if you are particularly soft-hearted (and I do not mean that as an insult), be warned. It's mostly just baby monkeys being very upset and Harlow discussing it in a callous manner. Yes, today it would be considered unethical, but it's still incredibly important work and if you think you can handle it, I would recommend watching at least the first one to get an idea of how dramatic this effect is.

Dependency when frightened

The full experiment

The TL;DW:

This experiment was conducted with rhesus macaques; they're still used in psychology/neuroscience research when you want very human-like subjects, because they are very intelligent (unnervingly so, actually). I'd say that adult ones remind me of a three-year old child.

Harlow separated newborn monkeys from their mothers, and cared for their physical needs. They had ample nutrition, bedding, warmth, et cetera. However, the researchers noticed that the monkeys:

(a) were absolutely miserable. And not just that, but although all their physical needs were taken care of, they weren't surviving well past the first few days of life. (This has also been documented in human babies, and it's called failure to thrive and I'll talk about it a bit later).

(b) showed a strong attachment to the gauze pads used to cover the floor, and decided to investigate.

So, they decided to provide a surrogate 'mother.' Two, actually. Mother #1 was basically a heated fuzzy doll that was nice for the monkeys to cuddle with. Mother #2 was the same, but not fuzzy and made of wire. Both provided milk. The result? The monkeys spent all their time cuddling and feeding from the fuzzy 'mother.' Perhaps not surprising.

What Harlow decided next, is that one of the hallmarks being attached to your caregiver is seeking hugs and reassurance from them when frightened. So, when the monkeys were presented with something scary, they'd go straight to the cloth mother and ignore the wire one. Not only that, but when placed in an unfamiliar environment, if the cloth mother was present, the monkeys would be much calmer.

In a follow-up experiment, Harlow decided to see if there was some sort of sensitive period by introducing both 'mothers' to monkeys who had been raised in isolation for 250 days. Guess what?

The initial reaction of the monkeys to the alterations was one of extreme disturbance. All the infants screamed violently and made repeated attempts to escape the cage whenever the door was opened. They kept a maximum distance from the mother surrogates and exhibited a considerable amount of rocking and crouching behavior, indicative of emotionality.

Yikes. So, at first Harlow thought that they'd passed some kind of sensitive period for socialization. But after a day or two they calmed down and started chilling out with the cloth mother like the other monkeys did. But here's a weird thing:

That the control monkeys develop affection or love for the cloth mother when she is introduced into the cage at 250 days of age cannot be questioned. There is every reason to believe, however, that this interval of delay depresses the intensity of the affectional response below that of the infant monkeys that were surrogate-mothered from birth onward

All these things... attachment, affection, love, seeking comfort ... are mostly learned behaviours.

Over.

Orphanages, institutionalized childcare, and why affection is a need, not an extra.

His face is lit the exact same was as Coulson’s was in COS (half-light, half-dark), and I said I was going to talk about this in Part 3. I think perhaps it's intended to make Fiennes-Tiffin look more evil or menacing, but I'm going to quite deliberately misinterpret it.

Now, for some context, Dumbledore has just (kind of) burned his wardrobe, ratted out his stealing habit, and (in the books only, they really took a pair of scissors to this scene) told him he needs to go apologize and return everything and Dumbledore will know if he doesn't, and, well, Tom's not exactly a happy bugger about it.

But interestingly, in the books, this is when we start to see Tom's 'persona,' aka his mask, start to come into play. Whereas before, he was screaming, howling, and generally freaking out, here, he starts to hide his emotions -- in essence, obscure his true self under a shadow. So this scene is really the reverse of Coulson's in COS.

And perhaps I'm reading wayyy too much into this, but I can't help but notice that Coulson's hair is parted opposite to Fiennes-Tiffin's, and the opposite sides of their faces are shadowed, too.

Riddle threw Dumbledore a long, clear, calculating look. "Yes, I suppose so, sir," he said finally, in an expressionless voice.

Riddle did not look remotely abashed; he was still staring coldly and appraisingly at Dumbledore. At last he said in a colorless voice, "Yes, sir."

Here's an article from The Atlantic on Romanian orphanages in the 1980s, when the dictator, Ceausescu, basically forced people to have as many children as possible and funnel them into institutionalized 'childcare', and it's absolutely heartbreaking.

There's not a whole lot of information out there on British orphanages in the 30s' and 40s', but given that people back then thought you just had to keep children on a strict schedule and feed them, it wouldn't have a whole lot better.

The only thing I've found is this, and it's not super promising.

The most important study informing the criteria for contemporary nosologies, was a study by Barbara Tizard and her colleagues of young children being raised in residential nurseries in London (Tizard, 1977). These nurseries had lower child to caregiver ratios than many previous studies of institutionalized children. Also, the children were raised in mixed aged groups and had adequate books and toys available. Nevertheless, caregivers were explicitly discouraged from forming attachments to the children in their care.

Here's a fairly recent paper that I think gives a good summary: Link

Here, they describe the responses to the Strange Situation test (which tests a child's attachment to their caregiver).

We found that 100% of the community sample received a score of “5,” indicating fully formed attachments, whereas only 3% of the infants living in institutions demonstrated fully formed attachments. The remaining 97% showed absent, incomplete, or odd and abnormal attachment behaviors.

Bowlby and Ainsworth, who did the initial study, thought that children would always attach to their caregivers, regardless of neglect or abuse. But some infants don't attach (discussed along with RAD in Part 2).

Here's a really good review paper on attachment disorders in currently or formerly institutionalized children : Link

Core features of RAD in young children include the absence of focused attachment behaviors directed towards a preferred caregiver, failure to seek and respond to comforting when distressed, reduced social and emotional reciprocity, and disturbances of emotion regulation, including reduced positive affect and unexplained fearfulness or irritability.

Which all sounds a lot like Tom in this scene. The paper also discusses neurological effects, like atypical EEG power distribution (aka brain waves), which can correlate with 'indiscriminate' behavior and poor inhibitory control; which makes sense for a kid who, oh, I don't know, hung another kid's rabbit because they were angry.

Furthermore...

...those children with more prolonged institutional rearing showed reduced amygdala discrimination and more indiscriminate behavior.

This again, makes a ton of sense for Tom's psychological profile, because the amygdala (which is part of the limbic system, which regulates emotions) plays a major role in fear, anger, anxiety, and aggression, especially with respect to learning, motivation and memory.

So, I agree completely that Tom needed a lot of help, especially given the fact that he spent eleven years in an orphanage (longer than the Bucharest study I was referring to), and Dumbledore wasn't exactly understanding of his situation, and probably didn't realise what a dramatic effect the orphanage had on Tom, and given the way he talks to Tom, probably treated him as if he were a kid who grew up in a healthy environment.

In case you are still unconvinced that hugging is that important, there's a famous 1944 study conducted on 40 newborn human infants to see what would happen if their physical needs (fed, bathed, diapers changed) were provided for with no affection. The study had to be stopped because half the babies died after four months. Affection leads to the production of hormones and boosts the immune system, which increases survival, and that is why we hug children and babies should not be in orphanages. They are supposed to be hugged, all the time. I can't find the citation right now, I'll add it later if I find it.

But I think it's vastly unrealistic to say that Dumbledore, who grew up during the Victorian Era, would have any grasp of this and I don't think he was actively malicious towards Tom.

Was Tom Riddle failed by institutional childcare? Absolutely.

Were the adults in his life oblivious to his situation? Probably.

Do the shitty things that happened to Tom excuse the murders he committed, and are they anyone's fault but his own? No. At the end of the day, Tom made all the wrong choices.

And, for what it's worth, I think (film) Dumbledore (although he expresses the same sentiment in more words in the books) wishes he could go back in time and have helped Tom.

"Draco. Years ago, I knew a boy, who made all the wrong choices. Please, let me help you."

[fencesandfrogs]

some thoughts on dovewing and hollyleaf

so i was like 1k words into my au for dovewing where she’s cloudtail and brightheart’s daughter and it was really good and then i lost it because tumblr doesn’t understand the concept of “are you sure you want to navigate away from this page?” and i can’t tell you how sad that makes me but i’m not going to despair, because i think the world needs this.

[1.5k words. 5 minute read. wall of text.]

right. so. basically. dovewing is going to be born to cloudtail and brightheart. i have Thoguhts on what other things could be changed in po3 but this isn’t about that.

also ivykit is red now sorry i don’t make the rules. (brightheart OR dovewing are now tortie to compensate for the change in genetics, not that warriors cars about that, but i do. cloudtail inherits brown from his mother and ??? from his father because i haven’t traced all of their litters, but i don’t see why dovekit couldn’t be grey.)

so cinderheart gets dovepaw because dovepaw is anxiety child. lionblaze gets ivypaw because that’s going to be a drama engine when he’s obsessed with her sister(’s mentor, but ivypaw doesn’t know that, also later it is dovepaw bc propehcy)

cloudtail and brightheart and cinderheart work out some Sensory Blocking skills. beavers happens. dovepaw, who spent most of her time as dovekit hiding in big fluffy father’s fur because Sensory, takes one look at big and fluffy and kind tigerheart and says: yes, he is safe. i will be his friend.

(i’m a fan of tigerheart and dovewing don’t @ me, they are the cutest, and after everything bramble and squirrel put me through, i deserve some pure kind love.)

anyway lionblaze figures out dove is 3rd cat, jayfeather is like “oh sick my sister’s back” dovepaw is anxiety child, everything is fine.

nothing happens in omen of the stars i stg

tigerheart and dovepaw continue to meet up. ivypaw goes from “sister worshipped i am unloved” to “sister fragile. must protect. (also i am unloved)” bc skirmish on border patrol and dovepaw just...can’t.

everyone is kind of wondering if dovepaw should maybe be med cat? i mean she has a good ear for prey, but she can’t really catch it, and, like, she’s weird.

she’ll mention snippets of information she shouldn’t know. she knows what you were coming to talk to her about before you get there. she’s never surprised, by, like, anything far away, but she barely notices if you sneak up on her.

something is not right about her.

but dove doesn’t really want that (reminder: tigerheart and her are still flirting-friends. he’s aware that she’s got some kind of, well, problem seems cruel, but what else should he call it?, and wants to help her, but has no idea what to do), and so cinderheart is like “well. we can do this. we can.”

idk filler stuff. ivypaw finds out about dovepaw and tigerheart. like, she knew something was up, but she gets explicit confirmation. ivy gets very protective of dovepaw, dovepaw is like ‘ur not my mentor’ ivypaw sees tigerheart in the dark forest, and she goes all

bluefur being like “snowfur ur bf has rabies” in bluestar’s prophecy

and it goes about as well now as it did then (altho tbf dovepaw is more close to being in the right than snowfur was.)

ivypaw and dovepaw now aren’t speaking. cinderheart is trying to get some space from lionblaze because dovepaw is anxiety child, training with ivypaw isn’t helping, and lionblaze needs to focus on ivy dammit.

anyway yeah in this ivypaw, after dovepaw’s initial success hunting, quickly surpasses her sister, and continues training in the dark forest because must protecc also need affection

(ivypaw is very pro dovepaw be a medicine cat. the fact that it keeps her away from tigerheart is a major bonus.)

cinderheart doesn’t know what to do. finally someone is like “hey what if we go to the tribe.” because the tribe deserves to fix clan problems for once.

the tribe is like “yeah the world sure is a big place with a lot to look at. that’s why only half of us look.” (i know that’s not exactly how cave guard’s work but close enough.)

cinderheart is like “hm. what if, dovepaw, just a thought, what if you just, you know, avoid battles? i know it’s part of clan life but judging by the two souls crammed into my body, i’d say there’s been very few major conflicts over this and, reasonably, you should be able to avoid being chosen for battle control.”

dovepaw says, “but cinderheart, i’m a main character! unless i’m being punished or taught a lesson about duty, i’ll be automatically registered for every battle patrol until i die!”

cindheart says, “you’re right, i’m so sorry. hey ivypaw, [whoops yeah ivy and lion are here too sorry i forgot to mention that] what if you two learn to work as a team.”

dovepaw says, “i don’t want to work with her.”

ivypaw says, “that’s a great idea.”

because dovepaw talks very quietly (she forgets not everyone can hear as well as her), ivypaw wins.

they work out their issues, return to the clans after quite some time.

(this also gives dovepaw a good memory for a long time in the future when shadowkit is born. i don’t actually know when that happens because i just finished tigerheart’s shadow and it’s not there, but i’ll find it eventually)

anyway dovepaw and ivypaw haven’t settled their differences, but they have a peace treaty. no one is sure how to integrate the team style in most effectively, but with her senses dampened from the tribe, dovepaw gets a bit better at hunting.

she’s also now 200% anxiety, meaning she’s basically vibrating all the time, but at least she’s learning. and she’s got the technical skills, too, she just couldn’t focus on applying them.

so dovepaw gets to really earn her success.

alright they become warriors, the battle is approaching.

this is like at least 3 books worth of content when you consider that jayfeather and hollyleaf are alive and hollyleaf is kind of, either dead or alive, tunnels or not, on top of shit in this universe. she knows shit gon go down. she’s going to be ready.

anyway right so dovewing and ivypool. that’s pretty much it except dovewing is more useful during the final battle. i’m not sure how i just know she is.

alright now i’m very tired and wanted to be done half an hour ago but here’s most of an au for you.

i came back like ten minutes later to add: the later three books would focus more on ivypool, hollyleaf, and jayfeather. dovewing is off in the background flirting with tigerheart. she and lionblaze have like one and a half brain cells between them. ivy holly and jay are the brains of the operation, and everyone knows it.

so they’re making plans and preparing and dealing with trust issues and lionblaze is like “what if? cinderheart. who is the best cat. what if she and i. had children. would they be. the best cat. squared?”

and dovewing, thinking of tigerheart, is like “no you idiot bestness is additive. that’s why my kits with tigerheart would be at least two times better than any other kits.”

*to be clear, kits are here the figurative marker of a relationship since warrior cats don’t have marriage. dovewing is basically like the fifteen year old doodling her name with tigerheart. she’s not serious about having children with him (yet), but it makes a tangible concept to picture their relationship in.

and meanwhile ivy is like “so if xyz is a taitor, that means i have to win over birchfall to make sure our numbers are evenly matched,”

(dovewing. i lovewing the dovewing, but she’s, well, not that smart.)

so yeah i think book protags would go:

dovepaw (i’d like to save her for later but unfortunately i think we need her deep characterization to provide context for her and tigerheart and sensory overload), ivypaw secondary

lionblaze, hollyleaf secondary (this is kind of a filler book while hollyleaf is set up as not a permanent resident of background character hell so lionblaze is just interpersonal drama moving the plot forward and filling in propechy info)

cinderheart, lionblaze secondary (i want them to be sorted faster, and dovewing’s second book needs to be later for tigerheart drama)

hollyleaf, jayfeather secondary (transitional book in focus, sharp narration turn because i have this working as 2 3 book arcs with a weaker overall arc, and since this is about dovewing i focused mostly on the first)

jayfeather, cinderheart secondary (dove+ivy need to close the arc together, also, cinderheart is like a central character to everyone else here, so she can sustain a whole lot of b plots)

ivypool, dovewing secondary (sisters, also, in this ivypool is far more important in the battle tha dovewing is. i mean sure dovewing is doing something, but the whole success of the battle hinges on ivypool, and everyone knows it.)

*in case I post more about it this au is tagged cloudtail's daughter. I already found calico dovewing that's gorgeous.

[the-river-person]

Miscalculation: Quality of Time

“Among other things, I miscalculated.” Asgore, Sans, Toriel, Papyrus, Flowey, Alphys, DT, Monster Kid  and even Doctor Whimsol were all gathered in Gaster’s lab, which was somehow even bigger than it was before, possibly due to the machine that seemed to be slowly digging out sections of the wall and storing the material in the very back of the cave. Gaster himself was looking disgruntled. “For some time now I have been attempting to calculate how long I have been trapped here after my... accident. I have a device that has accurately gauged the length of time that has passed both within the barrier and without, and it records time without regard to resetting as its mechanism is powered with small amounts of Determination. This device is and has been accurate in its readings, however it was I who made a mistake in the process of interpreting the data.“ He paused to adjust his sleeves, and his expression was sour, like he couldn’t stand the idea that he’d made a mistake. “You see, I had been under the impression that at least a hundred years had passed from the perception of Monsters from when my accident occurred and the fall of the final human into the Underground. I was correct, of course. There was another who held control of the power to Reset before the Human came, Flowey.” The flower in question gulped and shrank a little bit as everyone’s eyes flicked to him and then back to Gaster. “While Flowey did indeed Reset a large number of times, my mistake was not realizing how much time was actually involved in those Resets. Perhaps I can be forgiven for this, as my condition had me sleeping for long periods with brief wakings in between. But it seems that more of that time involved repetitions of segments of time than it involved moving forward at a normal pace. Instead of at least a hundred years of ordinary time going by and hundreds of years worth of repeating the same weeks, only a few years went by for the rest of you. I ought to have realized this when Asgore apologized for having forgotten to come check on me due to everything happening so suddenly. But I was arrogant enough to believe that I knew better and had the correct answer.” It took a moment for everyone to digest this. Alphys was scribbling some notes about the device Gaster had mentioned and the possibility of Determination as an alternate power source. Sans was reading the notes over her shoulder. But it was Papyrus who finally spoke up. “THAT’S VERY INTERESTING, UNCLE. BUT WHAT DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH HOW PEOPLE ARE STARTING TO FORGET SANS IF THEY AREN’T LOOKING AT HIM?” The scientist smiled at Papyrus, pleased that he’d jumped straight to the point. “I was trying to understand what was happening to your brother, and where it had begun. Already, based on his symptoms alone, I had begun to theorize what might be afflicting him. But certain things didn’t make sense, the timing didn’t line up. You see, I know of another instance where such a thing has happened to Monsters before. I believe you’ve met my assistants?” He turned and gestured at a group of people who were watching them. Sans didn’t seem surprised at all, but waved at them, while everyone else began wondering when these people had actually come into the room. None of them could remember seeing them before Gaster pointed them out. There were four of them, one a cat-like Monster, another small with wide eyes and a round head, another more like a strange bird with its head hanging down, and the last was one both Papyrus and Sans had met before, the little monster in a striped shirt who bore a distant resemblance to MK. All of them were grey and colorless, staring out at everyone with blank white eyes. “These were some of my assistants at the Labs before my accidents. Of course both Alphys and Sans worked with me as well. But for a long time I had assumed that neither of them had been present the day my experiments went wrong. When I managed to open a fissure into the Void both I and my assistants were exposed to the radiation from it. However the explosion that resulted from its abrupt close threw me into the vats of Determination heated to a plasma state that were there for my experiment instead of inside the Core where they belonged. Though i was shattered across time and space, it seems that the fading memory of me is related to more of the radiation from the Void, because my assistants were affected and forgotten as you see here, faded to this grey state where they are overlooked and easy to forget once you look away. The Determination is what kept me alive, and able to send my assistants out to collect pieces of me, for which I am grateful.” Noticing the look that some of his listeners were beginning to take on, Monster Kid and DT were starting to look bored, Gaster hurriedly moved on with his explanation. “None of this explained why Sans was displaying such symptoms. As he hadn’t been there that day. But I had forgotten his teleportation abilities. Upon hearing the explosion, which rocked the whole Underground, he teleported to the lab, unknowingly exposing himself to the radiation.” Asgore raised his hand nervously, looking for a moment as if he were a schoolboy asking a question about the homework rather than the King of Monsters. “Erm, I don’t quite think I understand but... If the radiation is what made your assistants like this, and he was exposed at the same time, how come he didn’t start to react till now?” Gaster nodded. “An excellent question, Your Majesty. I believe the answer lies in his Determination. I contacted Doctor Whimsol, who has been attempting for weeks to alert someone to San’s condition only to be thwarted by forgetting him entirely the moment he leaves her office, and gained access to his files. Sans has felt an abnormally high amount of Determination for some time. First to keep his brother safe and well after what occurred with their parents, then to make ends meet in their new home of Snowdin Town, to act according to tradition and moral standards as the Judge, and finally to keep the human from totally destroying everything and leaving everyone dead without a hope of a Reset. This Determination has kept the symptoms at bay for a very long time. But now, in this new life we’re all building, what is there to be determined about? Determination is only for great challenges and troubling times, for most this is neither. And his Determination has been decreasing as he no longer needed it, which allowed the symptoms to begin manifesting.” Even Sans looked considerably startled at this information. “DOES THAT MEAN THERE IS NO CURE?” asked Papyrus, a worried edge creeping into his tone. “THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING WE CAN DO.” “There is, no need to worry.” Gaster assured him calmly. “I have been working for some time to cure both my assistants and the Amalgamates of the lower labs. Both are connected in that their state has been brought about by Determination. With the new information I’ve gained by looking at Sans’ condition, I believe I may be able to help all three. But the means for each will be somewhat different, and there is a certain degree of risk involved.” Toriel opened her mouth, presumably to ask exactly what kind of risk Gaster was referring to, but Sans spoke first. “I’ll do it.” Everyone just looked at him, Gaster in soft amusement, DT in exasperation, and everyone else in shock. “What?” he said shrugging. “I’m finally starting to enjoy things and relax. I don’t want to give that up and get forgotten by everyone. I trust the doc. I’ll take the risks, ‘specially if it means I can have this nice thing we’ve all got going a bit longer.” “IF YOU’RE SURE BROTHER, THEN I WILL SUPPORT YOUR DECISION.” Papyrus’ tone was steady, but his sidelong glance at Sans betrayed his worry. Looking like Gyftmas had somehow come early, Gaster turned to his assistants and began directing them and giving instructions, already beginning on his plan now that he had consent from the patient. Asgore, Toriel looked uncomfortable, as if they’d really like to stop him but didn’t know if they could or should. Flowey on the other hand was deep in thought.

[dredgenshrike-defunct]

Appalachian Mountains

Kit reckoned the closest he ever felt to home was in the forest.

 Not the EDZ- damn the EDZ. Old america had a lot of deserts but it had just as many mountain ranges. Places deep enough you'd find old decrepit white houses, unlooted. Places deep enough that no one'd hear you scream.

 He came back here often, for different reasons. Usually alone. His shotgun hung loosely from his right hand, safety on as he stepped up the ledge. Poison Ivy licked at the ankles of his boots and so did old, dead bushes. The forest was so thick it was dark- most of the sunlight came from tiny spots on lines on the ground where the tree tops shied away from each other, but Kit knew these woods and could navigate them all the same.

 It was different from how Shrike could- Shrike could track something for miles and then come back. He knew the way that pacific northwest forests grew- could get through the evergreens and conifers while barely glancing around to his surroundings. Kit just knew- like these forests had trails ingrained into his instincts.

 Like his ribs were the twisting, thick tree roots and his hands could just as well match the shadows of branches on the ground. Where his eyes looked just the same, glowing in the darkness as any Mountain Lions. Until he knew exactly where he was- even in the middle of trees that looked all the same.

 Shrike always used to warn him, that when the forest called you in such a visceral way, that you should never answer the call. Always used to say that that wasn't the forest and Kit thought it was bullshit. Only a force of nature could elicit something so deep and visceral, so ingrained in ones nature to bring them to actually answer.

 Kit came to the place he was looking for by midday. The trees let up until sun scattered across grass, and an overgrown dirt road. It was an old town- and Kit passed by an old house that had its entire front part caved in. A barn with marks that stretched down its entire front and a school that looked half burned. He came to the back of the town- past a sign, half decrepit that said something or another about sinners. 

 The back held a church, gravestones littered out front. Kit stared for a minute before that feeling hit again- here.

 He walked towards the church, climbing up the steps to stand in the doorway. Stained glass scattered light across the wooden floor is prismacolor, and he heard a nest of birds above him. Maybe bats. Kit didn't look up.

 He walked to the back of the room, past pews that were long abandoned as his boots creaked these long sounds against the floorboards. The altar in the front had an old statue behind it but it had been long knocked down. He climbed up behind it all the same, crouching down at the sight of a door.

 Kits fingers tightened around it until he pulled it open with some struggle. He stared down the steps uneasily, before stepping down slowly. 

 The walls were lined with stone and he was careful of parts of the ceiling that looked like they were soon to cave in. The middle of the room had a Guardian. 

 Dead. To something or another. Their chest was organic but had plants growing through it- gotten bad from Stasis Kit judged, from how the edges of the hole in the chest were blue. The front was clawed out but the back had pierce holes, like a giant deers antlers. Kit flipped his shotgun and poked at the Guardian with the stock. Long dead, and no Ghost, he guessed. Their legs had been broken, and kit muttered something over not liking that sight. 

 He continued passed them, towards the back. He kicked some dust away, before he leaned down. The soil seemed to grab at his legs, but Kit ignored it, knowing no harm would ever come to him as he dragged a skull from the dirt.

 A wolfs skull, malformed. Too big. He held it up in front of him- examining it. He then shifted it until he could hold it by the front, switching his shotgun to his other hand and turning back around.

 The shadows felt like they clawed at him, whispering but Kit ignored it. He climbed back out of the basement, shaking off the dust. He took the skull back out, pausing at the cross in front of it. He set it over the top, maybe in some sort of warning before he leaned down.

 He carved 'Fire and Flood' across the cross, with the claws on his gloves before standing back up. Fire for what had clearly been burnt- flood for what looked like water damage. He looked back at the town, knowing he wasn't that great with words. He looked back at the cross…

 Kit stepped away, walking into the forest and it was a few hours before he returned. He set a decrepit deer skull at the bottom of the cross, half grown over with moss and leaves. He stood back to stared at it, setting the shotgun stock into the ground.

 Deers and wolves beware.

 The woods around him seemed to hum with some kind of appreciation. It looked like an altar, borne of hatred and death and Kit supposed that wasn't false. Damned be the deer, with crowns of spikes and damned be the wolves, with mouths of razors. 

 Kit moved on.

 ☆

 The air near the peaks was colder. This kind of cool that felt too nice- something he'd love to have often. A fog covered the low ground, shifting around his every step. He could see animals stare as he walked by but Kit wouldn't hurt them. Instead, he came to his own area.

 He wondered why he chose a house so far away from any transmattable zone sometimes. Exploring was fun but even a straight hike to this place took a while.

 Kit opened the door, and it creaked slowly. The inside of the house had filtered sunlight, with things painted on lighter walls and plants sitting on every windowsill.

 He went through to flick on the lights, peeling off his helmet and setting his shotgun against a door. He stepped to the kitchen, unwrapping his cloak-like coat and setting it against it. 

 Kit opened the window above the sink, not jumping as a grey-blue cat popped up after him. He grabbed some dried fruits that he kept stored- before popping back up and reaching out to pet the cat.

 "Looks like your hunts have been going well, mellilla." He said, noticing the cat seemed just as plump. She wasn't his, in truth- Feral in most ways, but she adored him. He adored hee too- gave her the name of Goose in the end but she usually was called by some sort of nickname.

 He stepped out towards the back door, as the cat jumped down to the counter then to the floor to follow him. He stepped out and sat on the steps outside, cooing something. A small dark creature, with white marks waddled out, squeaking at him.

 Kit held his palm out flat, with the dried fruit inside. The skunk grabbed one of the pieces, squeaking at him a few more times before beginning to nibble at it. 

 Kit chuckled, watching the thing eat. He reached out in his opposite hand to scratch at its head. "And scavenging seems to be going well for you too, Mi ocelle." He set the rest of the fruit on the ground, leaving the back door open as he stepped inside. He heard the skunk grab another piece, before scampering after him with tiny hops. 

 Goose rounded at his legs, mrow-ing at him before jumping back onto the counter. He reached out to pet her, and she purred as she rubbed against his hand. Kit stared ar her for a moment as he pet her, thinking. He wondered if….

 Hmmm. He wasn't sure. He was bad at gauging if people were cat or dog people- and as Kit turned around to gently pick up the skunk, wary of startling him, he realized that skunks were an acquired interest of having them as pets as well. They could be affectionate, very affectionate, but needed some time to warm up, and some slower actions to not scare them. He pet the skunks head- who he had lovingly named Apple- gently, as it nibbled on more fruit contentedly. 

 Kit looked back at the Cat, setting Apple back down. "It seems I need to either go fishing or shopping for you, princess. Apple's getting all the food and you look so left out…" He giggled, as the Cat meowed back at him. "I know! It's such a travesty…" Oh, he loved how talkative Goose was. 

 Kit scratched under her head, before patting his thighs and backing off. "C'mon then girl. Lets go get you some fish. Traveler knows I couldn't leave you out." He said, turning to step back out the door.

 He took a breath of the air again as he stepped out, and down the steps. Past the dried fruit that Apple immediatly flocked to again.

 Oh, how he had missed this place.

[cinalilli]

another commission for @the-goblin-cat​, this time of his dungeons and dragons party! this was a pleasure to work on and i learned a TON from it

transcript and link to hi-res files and extras below the cut!

EDIT: fixed the link!

[transcript: A group of eight characters in blues, purples, browns, whites, and pinks. The camera is tilted slightly and all the characters are doing action poses one behind the other in a dark cave with glowing blue crystals framing the image. At the top left, Niq, a pink translucent slime girl wiith curly hair, purple armor, red gem eyes, and a massive purple sword, poses with her sword over her shoulder. Cassandra, a pale humannoid girl with orange hair wearing pink with a blue sparkly cape, clings to the handle of Niq’s sword with a bolt of lighting coming from her hand. In the middle, Laodun, a black rabbitlike humannoid with dark blue hair and a pierced ear swings a pair of nunchucks shaped like tonfas. One tonfachuck flies offscreen and reappears to the left of Morithil. Morithil is a birdlike humannoid, has one hand on a double-sided scimitar and looks to the left in shock as the tonfachuck approaches their head. Their other hand is locked in Selene’s, a brown rabbitlike humannoid with wearing a witch’s hat with a sunflower on it, an engraved breastplate, and green robs. She has her hand extended with the haft of an axe with a jade head extended forward. Behind her is Fleavector, a possum in a ratty judge’s outfit and visible fleas surrounding him. He has his two fingers behind Selene’s head in the shape of bunny ears. In his other hand is a insect-like sword with a cat’s-eye gem in its pommel, which leaks blood. In the front, Felicia, a chinchilla girl with pale skin, purple hair in a ponytail, and grey chinchilla ears and a tail, casts a spell with a magic circle coming out of her extended hand. Her other hand clutches a purple book. She is wearing a blue capelet over a light-blue tunic with a yellow-and-gold shawl draped over her shoulders and orange pants. Coming out of her magical circle is Eggy, a four-legged pearlescent pseudodragon. Its legs are splayed at odd angles as it lands on the ground.]

the rough sketch!

and a link to the full quality images, including extras!

[wednesdaywarriorswc]

i know all we have of graystripes vow is a blurb and a preview but i’ve got my own theory of how the main story line should be (not the story with gremlin and bloodclan as i’m sure thats just they attack the clan and gray has to rally them without firestar which is a fine story)

-greystripe decides to leave the clan and go visit stormfur and the old territories. thornclaw, snaptooth, flywhisker and flipclaw also decide to leave on their own terms to discover themselves but separately to gray.

-gray decides to walk around the territories to get to the mountains as he can’t be bothered with any trouble. as he’s going he bumps into the other group who are surprised he actually left. grey tells them there’s no place for an old cat and his stories anymore. the clan and the code no longer work in harmony and so he’s going back to the old territories to try and keep his promise to firestar there.

-the younger cats feel like they can’t let and old cat wander on their own and they also decide seeing the mountains would be fun so they decide to go with him.

-it’s awkward at first while they travel consideing they’d all argued badly a few days before. the topic of whether or not squirrelflight was the true leader came up again and why they didn’t question brambleclaw greystripe spits at thornclaw about brokenstar being leader despite everything and Tigerstar I being made leader and when nightstar didn’t get his lives because of brokenstar still being alive.

-the younger cats want to know more about this but the older two are angry and stop talking. they make it to the mountains and the tribe are apprehensive to see them but stormfur, stoneteller and brook convince them they’re good cats.

-greystripe is overjoyed for see stormfur and his kits and it give him a sense of pride he’s been missing. he settles into the cave as he’s too old to hunt in the mountains but snaptooth,flywhisker and flipclaw go out to hunt to pull their weight. thornclaw discusses with stoneteller how long they’ll be there.

-stormfur asks why he left considering he’s so old. greystripe tells him he didn’t feel at home there anymore and by leaving he might finally be able to make good on his promise to firestar all those years ago to protect his clan. stormfur is confused but rolls with it.

-later that evening flipclaw comes up to greystripe and offers him prey which he take gratefully. he hangs around awkwardly and greys like “what do you want i’ve had kits i know when they want something” and flipclaw asks him if grey would tell him more about brokenstar, bluestar and tigerstar, as he doesn’t know that much and it sounded interesting.

-greystripe being absolutely over the moon to share his stories starts to tell him and snaptooth and flywhisker come too. it takes awhile but thornclaw sits a little bit away but listens too. he spends all night telling stories about the old leaders and firestars intervention and ravenpaw with huge amounts of enthusiasm.

-when it’s getting late they start getting up to go to bed when snaptooth asks who greystripes old mate was if stormfur was born to clan cats. greystripe gets sad and wistful and tells him it was a riverclan cat, silverstream. she was his first love before he ever met millie. snaptooth wants to ask more but thornclaw interjects and says it’s late and if they want to know more they can ask tomorrow.

-greystripe feels happy and whole and like he’s doing these cats some good, engaging they’re minds and showing them starclan isn’t always right and that the code isn’t everything but is important.

-he gets into another argument with thornclaw the next day while he’s talking about silverstream to the young cats. thornclaw states he broke the code even if it was love it was stupid and dangerous. greystripe recounts bluestar also had halfclan kits one of which is leader of riverclan and actually following the code blindly to each letter is what led to hollyleafs death.

-the group goes silent and he recounts hollyleafs story. ending with that sometimes being that loyal to the code will tear you apart more than being your own cat and being adaptable.

-they leave the mountains towards the old territories. the younger cats realising the clan has changed and they’re in an impossible situation there. as berrynose shouldn’t have been deputy but he was and they followed him and squirrelflight is technically the next best thing even if it is a bit nepotism. and although lionblaze is strong a younger cat should be deputy to make way for a longer leadership and better relationship with all cats.

-greystripe is proud they’re forming their own opinions and decisions and they’re actually rational

-they get to the moonstone eventually and thornclaw and greystripe are horrified at what they see if their old territories. it’s got huge thunderpaths running right through it and it looks butchered. their hearts ache. the younger cats are in shock as this journey was the first time they’d ever come into contact with a thunderpath let alone ones this big.

-greystripe wants to go to the moonstone and see if it’s still there and if they could maybe access starclan from there. thornclaw tells him it would be a full moon tomorrow and they could try. they decide to make camp in a cave nearby where greystripe tells more stories about the time tigerstar framed ravenpaw at the moonstone and about barely at the barn and when fireheart and him went to find windclan and got in a fight at the riverclan border.

-the next evening they go into the moonstone and miraculously it’s still there. the younger cats are in awe of it and they go forward and touch noses. they all fall asleep but don’t quite reach starclan. greystripe gets darkness and mist but he can smell cats and see shapes and outlines of cats. just before he wakes up it becomes clearer and he sees willowpelt. his mother he misses so much. she tells him how proud she is and that he’s doing the right thing. he asks why starclan have gone while she fades away she just tells him the clans needed to learn to stop relying on dead cats to live. (and the the df have interfered)

-he wakes up and the younger cats seem rattled. he asks if they saw anything. thornclaw said it was dark and fuzzy but he heard stemleafs voice telling him to let go and be strong. flipclaw, snaptooth and flywhisker tell him they were together in a field that they wouldn’t see more than a mouse tail in front of them. when a cat with a pelt like fire came up to them and told them to trust their hearts and fix the cracks the imposter made. and that leaving to find themselves doesn’t make them disloyal.

-theyre all in shock they actually could visit. greystripe theorises whatever’s happened in the lake territories to their connection is struggling to hold power this far away so they could get glimpses. it fills them with hope their ancestors are still there and that maybe they were too quick to judge.

-they ask what grey saw. he says he’ll tell them later. they decide to go to the barn and see if they can stay there even if barley is gone.

-there’s a new cat there called monty who’s defensive at first but when they explain who they are and he mentions barley monty relaxes as he heard stories from line travellers about the clans and the two old toms who used to live in the barn and permits them to stay and hunt in exchange for stories which the younger cats gladly tell all excitedly to thornclaw and greystripes amusement.

-later in the evening when they’re all settled thornclaw apologises to greystripe for being so harsh to him. he then asks what greystripe saw in the moonstone. greystripe tells him he saw willowpelt his mother. who told him they did the right thing. and that the reason they can’t access starclan is due to the DF and that starclan want the clans to be more independent. the younger cats don’t recognise willowpelts name and greystripe tells them she was his mother and how she died and of his siblings who didn’t survive.

-the next day greystripe wanders off on his own before dawn. looking for the place in riverclan where the elders stayed behind. he gets there avoiding the thunderpaths and finds mounds of earth where they were buried. and one shoddily made grave that must’ve been done by a rogue finding the last cats body.

-the other cats catch up to him and tell him off for wandering off when he’s so old and he’s just quiet. thornclaw realises where they are and he tells the young cats these are the graves of the ones who couldn’t make the journey. they mourn quietly.

-grey decides he wants to try and show the younger cats what’s left of thunderclan camp. thorn thinks it’s stupid but there’s no stopping the elder.

-they do find it but it’s destroyed. the nests are bent and broken, the stone dens are cracked and trees have collapsed over it. greystripes heart aches and the younger cats appreciate more where they came from and what they went through.

- greystripe and thornclaw lay respect to the dead who couldn’t travel with them and they go back to the barn.

- the younger cats decide they want to go back to thunderclan they want to change the code and fix it to be better for cats and to get rid of the imposter. greystripe is proud of them for coming to their own decisions and tells them they’ll do a fantastic job. they also tell him they want more cats to hear old stories and advice. as it gave them a new perspective and appreciation for their life.

-greystripe feels as if he’s fulfilled his promise and asks them if they listened well to his stories and if they remember them. they nod and ask why. he shakes his head and tells them one last story. of the legend of the founding fathers of the clans. one of the lions and tigers and leopards who were their ancestors. and one of Riverstar, Thunderstar, Shadowstar, Skystar and Windstar. their real ancestors. he tells this story with more knowledge than anyone has had for generations. he tells from his heart a story that had been lost to time. a story he didn’t know before this night but was being whispered in his ear from an unknown source.

-greystripe dies that night in the barn. the cats bury his body by the moonstone and sit vigil for one night and return to the clans with the news. greystripes spirit doesn’t pass on to starclan. but he follows the young cats home, certain that they can be the ones to release the spirits and send them home to their families.

[elvencheesewheels]

★  Links to some free games  ★

I’ve always liked little free online games and I guess wanted to share some! Most are just puzzle/point and click stuff, but I tried to separate them by other categories too. Though many will cross genres, and I’m also probably bad at categorizing things. I mostly like them all (except for some I may not have finished all the way/can’t accurately judge), but Personal Favorites are bolded!  Anyway, if you’re ever bored and looking for random short games to play for 10 - 30 minutes or so, here’s like.. a ton of them lol

-

-- Abstract/Artistic/Atmospheric (or puzzle/adventure games that just happen to also be Aesthetic) --

~ Daymare Cat  ~ Goblin ~ Antimatiere ~ Beachcomber ~  Break The Limits! ~ Bars of Black and White ~ Story Hero ~ Onomastica 2 ~ Hero’s Adventure ~  Journalière ~ The Everloom ~ ir/rational Redux ~ Anika’s Odyssey ~ a Grain of Truth ~ A House in California ~ Nature Treks-Healing With Color ~ The Majesty Of Colors ~ Escher ~ Looming ~ A Small Talk at the Back of Beyond ~ You Find Yourself In A Room ~  Don't Look Back ~ Loved ~ Coma  ~ LQD 1: Wanderful ~ Moon Waltz ~  The Day ~ I Can Hold My Breath Forever ~ Hummingbird Mind ~ Reverie ~ Where Is 2015? ~ Where is 2016? ~    Searching For The Elephant ~ Rabbit Fable ~ ImmorTall ~ PRIOR ~ Alphaland ~ Fixation  ~ It’s Just Tic Tac Toe  ~ It’s Just Tic Tac Two  ~ Gods Will Be Watching ~  Sprout ~ Lost Ethereal ~ Drifting Among Worlds ~ Mitoza ~ The Empty Kingdom ~ Revenge Of Dog ~ A Second Chance ~ Icarus Needs ~ A Duck Has An Adventure ~ Kristov Colin ~ Loondon ~ 

-

--Adventure-ish  (ones with more rpg or platformy stuff )--

~  Ernesto - A Quick RPG ~  The Book of Living Magic ~ Tainted Olive - Chapter 1 ~ The Splitting ~ The Splitting (chapter 2)  ~ Cursed Islands ~ The Awakening RPG ~ Cool Story Bro ~  Why Am I Dead? ~ Little Wheel ~ The Fabulous Screech ~ Summit ~ The Enchanted Cave 2 ~ Seedling ~  Tower of Heaven ~ Endeavor ~ Legend Of Kalevala ~ Just Passing ~  Blackwood Prologue ~  The Company of Myself ~  Bit Dungeon  ~ Frog Fable ~ BackDoor - Door 1  (I’m bolding this one since I’m pretty sure I liked it? but I played it like 2 years ago and actually can’t remember ghhg) ~ BackDoor - Door Two ~ Clockwork Cat ~  Diary Of A Cat ~ Verge ~ Songbird Symphony ~ Life In The Static ~ The Grand Grimoire Chronicles Episode 1 ~ Escape3 ~ Babies Dream Of Dead Worlds ~ Iridescent ~ Prophet ~ The Illusory Wall ~ 100% Complete ~  Hat Wizard 1 & 2 ~ Dreams and Reality ~ How To Raise A Dragon ~ A Kitty Dream ~ The Prince Edward ~ Rune Hunt ~  Necromancer's Maze ~ Mansion On The Hill ~ Stable Boy ~ Crown Dungeon 2 ~ Regrowth ~ 

-

-- Escape/Mystery (more purely  point  & click or ~Mysteriouse~ puzzle type things lol) --

 ~  The Crossroads  ~ ‘Cube Escape’ series:  The Lake , Seasons,   Arles ,  Harvey’s Box , Case 23 , The Mill, Birthday, and Theatre ~  Humanoid 47 ~ Samsara Room ~  Escape From 26 ~ ‘Daymare Town’ games 1, 2, 3, and 4 ~ 40x Escape ~  ‘Hood’ Episode 1 , 2, 3 and 4 ~ ‘The Last Door’ series, Prologue + Chapters  1, 2 , 3 , and 4  ~ Deep Sleep ~ Deeper Sleep ~ The Deepest Sleep ~ ‘Don’t Escape’ series, 1, 2  and 3 ~  The Earl Octopusor ~   Krystine And The Children In Chains ~ Time To Wake Up ~ The Infinite Ocean ~  The Ocean Around Me- Week One ~ Zombie Society - Dead Detective (this is a whole series but I’m only putting one since I’ve only played two) ~ Forgotten Hill : Memento (this is also a whole series too, but idk if I’d recommend them by listing multiple since they’re a bit silly/janky lol) ~ Sala ~ Through Abandoned 2. The Beginning ~ Earl Grey and This Rupert Guy ~ Home Story: 1971 ~ The Dark Side Detective Demo ~  Bermuda Escape ~  Return To Spring Forest ~ The Watcher’s Chamber ~ The Strange Disappearance Of Eldon Crowe ~ Soul Core ~ No Place Like Home ~ I Have One Day ~ Tipping Point 4 ~ 

-

-- Other (random &  just plain storyless puzzle games)  --

~ Fracuum ~ Soul Tax ~ 10 is Again ~  Socrates Jones: Pro Philosopher ~  PicTune ~ Music Catch & Music Catch 2 ~ Help! It's the Unfinished Shadow Game ~ Interlocked ~ This is a Work of Fiction ~ Silent Conversation ~ 400 Years ~ The I of It ~ Starlight Xmas ~ Factory Balls 3 ~ Very Organized Thief ~ I Can’t Find My Glasses ~ Haunt The House ~ Duck, think outside the flock ~ Apocashop ~  Electric Box 2 ~ Fields Of Logic ~ Continuity ~ What’s inside the box? ~ Z-rox ~ Wooden Path ~ Where am I ? ~ Five ~  Gateway 1 and 2 ~  Sky Island ~ Home Sheep Home ~ 10 ~ simian.interface ~ Klocki ~ Picma - Picture Enigmas ~ Unpuzzle 1 & 2 ~ Cardinal Chains ~ Scalak ~ Rhomb ~ Colorzzle ~ Where Are My Pets ? ~  Sugar, Sugar 1 , 2 , & 3 ~ Overlink Shadows ~  Black ~ Up Left Out ~ Stop The Darkness ~ Connect ~ Push ~ Eschernian ~ Evo Explores ~ Magnesium Gardens ~ Orcs VS Elfs ~ Full Moon ~ Tough Love Machine ~ Red ~ Mister Line ~ Valdi: Shadows ~ Loops of Zen ~ Stargazer ~ Tanooky Tracks ~ Hexelectric ~ RowRow ~ 

And I have many others saved in my playlist that I haven’t played yet, so I may update this from time to time with new ones, but that’s all for now! 

(note: I’ve heard sometimes on tumblr, post links may not work right during  mobile browsing or etc. These work fine for me on desktop, so hopefully there wouldn't be any problems. You’d have to be at a normal computer (they’re not mobile games) to play most of these anyway so I guess it’s irrelevant but idk)

[dork-empress]

The Coinside Pantheon

This is a pantheon of goddesses I created for a D&D-esque universe. This is the universe my OC’s Haze and Prosperity are in. It is VERY religion based, the goddesses are involved in every portion of their lives. Many have their main goddess, (or maybe angel!) but will respect the others

Each Goddess has a counterpoint, the opposite/reflection of who they are, but in some ways they are the same (sun/moon, plant/animal, etc.) Each have different relationships with their doubles, and they have a combined name as well as separate names. (for instance, Sun and moon have the shared name Kys, and separate names Orlas and Urlan) 

There are 5 levels of deity, the most important on the outer edges, and going down inwards towards the Material plane (see chart below cut) Each goddess is master of their own plane, though each plane also has angels, denizens, devils and demons (Angels support the goddess, Devils and demons use the Goddess gift to hurt mortals) Tieflings, Aasimar, and Genasi can come from any of the planes (Genasi in this world are just children of Denizens)

Each goddess also has an associated animal, plant, and weapon, and maybe something else. They also have their unique worshippers, prayers, temples, and Ceremonies. 

Level 1 

Kys

Sun-Orlas/Moon-Urlan

Light/Dark, World/Dreams

Goddess appears as a dragon or Dragonborn

Animals:  Insects, 

Other: sunflowers

Weapon: Glaive

Colors: Gold/Silver

Worshippers: Rulers, Philosophers, Astronomers, generic

Ceremonies: sunrise, sunset Solstices, equinox, eclipse, any astronomical event

Temples: At high points, Village centers, outside

Prayers: A song for the astronomical event.

Solar plane is bright light, impossible for most beings to see, let alone maneuver. The stars are the denizens of the world and wander around. 

Lunar plane appears to be a barren frozen wasteland (moon surface) until you fall asleep, and find the dream world, where they create the illogic of dreams. The denizens are dreamcrafters.

Level 2

Meti 

Life--Elfi/Death--Tehad

Birth, death, medicine, time

Goddess appears Human

Animals: Birds, especially doves (pigeons) and Ravens

Plants: Willows 

Weapon: Sickle\

Colors: Black and White

Worshippers: Doctors, midwives/Morticians

Ceremonies: baptism/funerals

Temples: Hospitals/graveyards

Prayer: Silent contemplation

Life Plane nearly pure white, filled with silvery pools, where new souls are fostered. Denizens are soulweavers. 

Death plane: Black and grey stone caves, with dark pools of souls of the dead. Denizens are Reapers.

Dworl

Earth--Terah/Sea--Aneco

Dirt, stone, mountains, earth/water, nature

Goddess appears Elf. Sea elf or land elf. 

Animals: Amphibians, like Frogs.

Plant: Lily

Weapon: Triton/Pitchfork

Colors: Blue and Green

Worshippers: Farmers, sailors,

Ceremonies: During harvest/fishing, sailing

Temples: Open fields/ocean

Prayers: Quiet muttered prayer, keeping things cleaned

Earth Plane: Nearly solid dirt, caves and mountains. Denizens are Earth Elementals and tunneling creatures

Sea Plane: Ocean. I mean duh. Denizens are water elementals and fish creatures

Level 3 

Atrinoce

Mind--Idn’m/Body--Ybdo

Knowledge, creation, plans, crafting

Goddess appears as a dwarf

Animals: Monkeys

Plants: Cherry Tree

Weapon: Hammer

Colors: Pink and Brown (flesh tones)

Worshippers teachers, artisans, librarians, builders

Ceremonies: Beginning or ending a project

Temples: Schools, craft shops, libraries, forges

Prayers: Blessing on project

Mind Plane: Clockwork pink metal disks/mazes, etc. Denizens are robots

Body Plane: Rock mazes, need to move them. Denizens are like, Goliaths.

Laentigm

Civil--Ilvic/Wilds--Ildws

Chaos, order, Civilization, government, 

Goddess appears as an orc.

Animals: Snakes

Plants: shrubs

Weapon: Spear

Colors: Grey and purple

Worshippers: Kings, judges, lawmakers/barbarians.

Ceremonies: Beginning of lawmaker services/looking for luck.

Temples: offices, capitol buildings/wilderness

Prayer: Chanting prayer/song.

Order Plane: marbled towers, just endless towers like graveyard stones. Denizens are a hive mind clone system. 

Chaos plane: Thick wilderness, have to fight way through brambles. Denizens are monsters.

Tiomoen

Love--Velo/Hate--Taeh

Emotions, bringing people together or breaking them apart. 

Goddess appears as a fairy. 

Animals: Swans

Plants: Roses

Weapon: Scimitar

Colors: Red and Pink

Worshippers: Soldiers, wedding leaders, family leaders,

Ceremonies: marriages/beginning of battles,

Temples: Wedding ceremonies, taverns/battlegrounds

Prayer: Join hands with loved ones, dancing/kill an animal

Love Plane: Lots of silks, bedding, full of luxury and baccanal pleasures, dancing, wine. Denizens are Concubi

Hate Plane: Endless warzone. Denizens are soldiers

Level 4 

Noocyme

Trade--Draet/Thief--Fihte

Economy, moneys, Gems, greed

Goddess appears as a gnome

Animals: Rats/Rodents

Plants: Mint

Weapon: Dagger

Colors: Gold and Wine Red

Worshippers: Bankers, shopkeepers/Thieves

Ceremony: When bank opens, before a job, big transactions

Temples: Banks

Prayers: sacrifice a coin to an alter

Trade plane: The biggest damn bank in the world, full of bureaucracy and offices. Denizens are Bankers

Thief plane: Elaborate city full of nothing but shadowy corners and hidden treasures. Denizens are all sorts of thieves. 

Teruan

Plants--Lafor/Animals--Unfaa

All plants, all animals, hunting, gardening

Goddess appears as a satyr

Animals: Deer/Antlered animals (but all really)

Plants: Vines (grapevines especially)

Weapon: Long Bow and Arrow

Other: Pan Flute

Colors: Green and Brown

Worshippers: farmers, hunters, gardeners

Ceremonies: At planting, harvest, hunts

Temples: shrines at Farms, Gardens, Forest entrances

Prayers: Burn old matter—leaves, feathers, fur, etc

Plant Plane: jungle full of every plant imaginable, denizens are plant people

Animal plane: A hunting ground, lots of dirt and obstacles, denizens are personified animals

Srat

Comedy--Decymo/Drama--Mraad

Arts, especially performative, expressing emotions

Goddess appears as a halfling

Animals: Dogs

Plants: Berries

Weapon: Rapier

Colors: Orange and Purple

Other: all instruments, but especially mandolin

Worshippers: Artists, bards

Ceremonies: before a performance

Temples: Stages, taverns

Prayers: Songs

Comedy plane: Artists paradise, full of laughter and light

Drama plane: A somber reflection of the Comedy plane. Denizens for both are masked audience members

Fystae

Travel--Dasor/Hearth--Ahreth

Safety, safe travels, homes, warmth

Goddess appears as a goblin

Animals: Cats, horses

Plants: Weeds, especially dandelions

Weapons: Club

Other: Shoes

Worshippers: housekeepers, travelers

Ceremonies: When arriving home or leaving for a trip

Temples: Hearths, Crossroads, hostels and other community living spaces

Prayer: when encountering a shrine, place a stone or other relic from journey on top, and take one for the next stop. 

Level 5 

Sanoses

(note--Sanoses is rare in that she is 4 goddesses, not 2, encompassing all 4 seasons)

Spring--Gsrinp/Summer--Mursem/Autumn--Untaum/Winter--Trinwe

Weather, Seasons, etc. 

Goddess appears as a giant

Animals: Bears, turtles

Plants: Trees, especially oak and pine

Weapon: Quarterstaff

Worshippers: Anyone, especially farmers

Ceremonies: Start of new season, during bad weather

Temples: In the open

Prayer: drink water from a special goblet

[nemossubmarine]

Warhammer 40k: Wrath & Glory RP #27

My note-taking sure does suffer when I get back on board as GM (mostly bc it’s hard to talk and take notes at the same time), uhh, let’s see what I can gather from this session of our space-faring adventures. Apparently a lot. It’s so long, I’m not even going to format it, like I usually do, sorry. :P

We start with a little blast from the past, namely the past of one Gorm Oddmundson. His pack is hunting down some straggler orks on a planet and had stopped in a cave for the night. Three packmates, Olaf, Knut and Ivar go to take a look around the parameter. They plan amongst themselves about breaking off from the pack and going to hunt some orks, when Gorm joins the trio. He has something to say, about talking about people behind their backs. The trio feigns ignorance, so Gorm spells it out, pointing at Olaf and saying he knows what he has been talking. Apparently the trio isn’t too keen on having Rolf as their leader, and would much rather have Uffe lead the pack, and Olaf has been going around saying that stuff. Gorm thinks he should wolf up and just challenge Rolf, as that’s the proper thing to do, but Olaf says he doesn’t want to lead anyone. Gorm doesn’t think Uffe wants either, though who even knows with that guy? Never talks (and that’s going to be a problem if he is to become a leader, just saying), barely is around the pack, seems like a guy Gorm would never get along with. It was from Snorri that Gorm has heard all this from, apparently Snorri having been Olaf’s next target for manipulating. Olaf says he was just looking out for the guy, as Gorm is so keen on bullying him, but hey, a misjudgement of character, Snorri was dumber than Olaf thought (or closer to Gorm than he thought). 

Gorm turns his attention to Knut and Ivar, says they should stop listening to a guy like Olaf. The two seem to stand steady with their friend. Gorm accuses Olaf of encouraging Knut’s odd, sorcerous habits, which Knut denies. He’s just a curious man. Gorm says that they should all cut it out and think of the pack, to which Olaf says that hey, no matter what, there’ll be no pack. Gorm punches Olaf. Olaf challenges Gorm to a fight. They get to wrestling on the ground, and Olaf has no trouble pummeling Gorm into the ground, until Gorm reaches a breaking point, the wolf overtaking him and with one swoop he accidentally severs Olaf’s throat. 

The sounds of the battle has brought to the site Snorri and the pack’s leader Rolf. Gorm is quick to profess his innocence, how killing him was an accident. Knut and Ivar are just as quick to point the blaming finger at Gorm, saying he started it, saying he meant to kill Olaf all along. Rolf orders Knut and Ivar back to the camp. Ivar orders ”the nerd” (aka Snorri) to come along. Left alone with Rolf, Gorm explains the situation as he has seen it. Rolf is sympathetic, but he says that he can’t keep Gorm in the pack. Gorm thinks this is a huge mistake, that he’ll be playing right into whatever Olaf was attempting to pull. Rolf says he’ll take the pack to Fenris, to see if this can be mended, and as for Gorm, he needs to go out on his own, and when he’s ready, there’ll be a pack for him to return to.

Back at present. One day Saef comes to his room to find it surprisingly empty. From the walk-in closet, Rat’s voice comes, telling that Vivek got an important sounding phone-call and rushed off, and that Theo has finally been taken in by Eden to be fixed. There’s a thing Rat wants to show Saef. She steps out of the closet, having discarded her cap, goggles and scarf, showing Saef that she’s very clearly not human, an eldar as suspected. Saef’s only reaction is to pat her on the head. Rat is worried that things are going to get troublesome soon, as even if xenos are somewhat tolerated among Rogue Traders, untrained psykers are not and Konstantine is starting to reach the ends of his capabilities as a teacher with her strange talents. Saef says he’ll figure something out. Rat counters that he doesn’t even know what eldar are like, like she’s heard they’re into torture parties, maybe Rat is also into that, what’s Saef going to do then? Knock her to her senses, Saef says. And that’s that conversation. Oh, and Rat’s bi, while she’s at it.

Gimlet goes to visit Apple Blossom. She looks a lot better than last time Gimlet saw her, although she has received some cybernetics. She thanks Gimlet for saving her life, as well as apologizes for attempting to kill him. The matter of cultists is not a thing she is too keen to talk about, so having Gimlet here to talk about Limestow and stuff like that is good distraction. Gimlet asks what she knows of Cara’s people. Apple says they had been coming to the planet for a while. It was her understanding that her aunt PomPom had met them on Terra some time back. The group was mostly psykers and they helped to grow the fruits in exchange for food. Cara, Apple says, didn’t appear to be a psyker, but then again, she didn’t appear to age at all, so something might have been up there. Gimlet asks if she knew at all where they came from. Apple says she doesn’t, it was strange, they didn’t have a ship big enough for void travel, but they weren’t from the next planet over. Gimlet asks if she knew Cara’s son, and Apple says ”Demetrius? Of course” and when Gimlet reveals that he is Demetrius, Apple says she sees the resemblance. Gimlet asks if Navigators said anything to Apple and Apple recalls a conversation she had with little Demetrius, where Apple asked about them going home and Demetrius claiming to be the ship’s navigator. When Apple questioned his lack of a third eye, Demetrius said that his father told of birds on Holy Terra who could always find home. Speaking of Cara’s husband, Apple says she got the impression he was alive, Demetrius spoke of him often, but he never came with the group. Gimlet asks if there was any trouble with Tanner after Cara was killed, or after Limestow. Apple says that Aunt PomPom was great at keeping herself clean from everything, but when shit started turning south, she made sure Apple was on the planet to keep her out of trouble. Gimlet thanks Apple for the information. When he gets out, he passes Habanero Pepper on his way to visit his wife.

Lu Yan calls Gimlet, distraught that Inpax has a) kicked her out of Inquisition, b) broken up with her and c) left her behind on a planet. Gimlet is completely dumbstruck by this turn of events. Lu Yan can’t say what brought this on, Inpax was her normal self, if busy what with dealing with Kane Bullard, and then few days before they were meaning to leave, Inpax got a bit quiet, and then boom, break-up. Gimlet tells her that he’ll get to the bottom of this. Lu Yan just needs to hold tight, and maybe Gimlet can persuade Captain Pepper to pop by to pick her up

Saef and Inpax There’s a knock on Saef’s door and it’s Inpax who hands Saef a pissed-off cat and then asks about someone going to see her prisoner. Saef admits to giving the bunny for Eden to look over, because it was strange and technical. Inpax questions if that is only it, just that, after that, her prisoner has started to malfunction, so hopefully Saef is happy about that. Saef does not know anything about that. Inpax sounds quite frustrated, pointing out to Saef that Eden is involved in many deaths, including on Dew Mountain, because it continued its creators’ work. But, Inpax isn’t here to wax philosophy about the nature of guilt. She has information on Ahram Demirci, the Triplex Phall citizen, who was reported dead some 15 years ago after going missing in an expedition arranged by a rogue trader named Elucia Vhane. Inpax also hands over Saef two pieces of crystals, which appear to be two thirds of a whole. Apparently they were looted from Kane Bullard’s Ahram (one belonged to him, one to Saef’s Ahram), who is waiting execution. Upon Inpax leaving Rat asks Saef what he has and he shows the crystals. Something about the crystals draws Rat in. She asks can’t he feel the energy in Saef’s Ahram’s crystal. Saef feels around it (and perils of the warps again, woops, like fifth time in a row). And yeah, there’s some kind of weird energy. Not quite psychic, but something related anyway. Saef better ask around about that.

Gorm has returned! Our fine folk have crowded to the shuttle bay to greet their friend. First all the rest of the people who were visiting Fenris unload, though noticeable Layla is missing. Gorm and Uffe step out of the ship last. Noticeably Gorm’s hair is missing. And there’s new tats where the hair used to be! Hugs are had between our three heroes (and in the background Vivek makes a beeline towards Uffe to retrieve his chip thing). So how was Fenris? Gorm (and Uffe) got promoted. No longer (young and dumb) Blood Claws, they’ve risen to the ranks of the (middle-aged and slightly smarter?) Grey Hunter. So all in all, better than expected. And Gorm had told Fenris about Gimlet and Saef and they are cool in Fenris’ books. Also Layla was taken by the Wolves! Gimlet panics for a bit, asking if Gorm is saying she was taken by bad wolves. But no, the Wolf Priests of Fenris judged Layla worthy of attempting to become a Space Wolf. She just needs a bit more training, on Fenris, which is what she is currently doing. Gimlet asks about Jennifer. Gorm says they haven’t really talked, she’s probably bit angry, but she also knew this could be coming.

There’s a mission that Gorm and Uffe has been set up to. They need to find a Rogue Trader by the name of Elucia Vhane, who came upon some kind of a blood ritual in the Eastern Fringes, which may or may not have been performed by a former packmate of Gorm. Also Saef should come with on account of his… (good fashion sense?) warlock-iness. Vivek’s presence was apparently requested by Elucia Vhane, no idea why. And Gimlet can come too (yes please).

So what were you up to? Gorm asks. Gimlet tells that he killed an Inquisitor, to which Gorm says ”Inpax!” and offers a hand for high-five. Saef high-fives him. Gimlet offers a correction in the form of telling the story of the last campaign. In the middle, the subject of Vivek refusing medical treatment comes up. Gorm asks what the hell was up with that? Gimlet says it was probably because  Vivek hates him. Saef offers the much more charitable ”personal reasons”. Vivek claims those ones, and refuses to elaborate, much to Gorm’s annoyance.

Uffe interrupts the reunion by saying that Gorm should go inform the Captain that they need to get a move out, they’re on a time crunch, apparently. Gorm grumbles at that, but says he’ll go do that.

Gorm tells Gimlet and Saef to show Uffe Gorm’s room, as they are bunking together, while Gorm goes to inform Captain Pepper of their new destination. When they reach Gorm’s room, but before Uffe gets inside, Gimlet asks Uffe if Gorm is okay. Uffe asks is there some reason Gorm wouldn’t be, and Gimlet just says that they left to Fenris in such a hurry. Uffe says that Fenris called, and then fails to elaborate. Gimlet bids goodbye and exits the conversation towards the bar. Uffe comments to Saef that Gimlet is a bit awkward before going inside.

So to get to the Eastern Fringes to meet up with Elucia Vhane, Santa Maria will have to do some warp-traveling. There’s some... incidents. Ghost ships in the warp one day, and one night, Gorm wakes up in his room to the ship shaking, and next to him Uffe is making a pained sound, in a middle of a nightmare. Gorm goes to wake him up, carefully, and nowhere near his claws. Uffe pounces him nonetheless, suddenly all wolf-like. Gorm, who was expecting this, dodges, wrestles him to the ground and sits on him, until he calms down. First thing Uffe asks when he comes to is whether he hurt Gorm. Gorm assures him that he’s fine. Uffe thanks Gorm and just instructs him to sit on him if it happens again. He doesn’t seem too keen on getting back to sleep, but Gorm says it’s fine, he’ll keep watch.

Unbeknowst to Gorm and Uffe, Gimlet has also been woken to the shaking, has heard the noises coming from the other room and drawn just the wrong conclusions. Yes, those conclusions.

Saef and Konstantine have taken up some meditation on account of not wanting to fuck around with the warp during warp travel. During a break, Saef says he has some things he wants to ask Konstantine about. First are the pieces of crystal Inpax gave him, Konstantine can’t help Saef, but upon learning Rat sensed something in them, Konstantine says best not to touch them, in case they’re eldar things. Then Saef shows the jewel he got from Inquisitor Fane. This Konstantine recognizes. It’s Blackstone, an extremely warp resistant material mostly found on Necron tomb-worlds, extremely valuable, often sought by Mechanicus. Konstantine advises Saef not to wear either of them as jewelry, and Saef says he’s been thinking about getting a cat paw necklace. Konstantine admits that he’s more of an owl person, personally, and shows Saef a hankerchief with an embroidered owl in the corner his mother made him. 

Then there’s one last thing, namely what’s the future for Saef? Konstantine says that to become a sanctioned psyker one must be taken to Terra to be evaluated. A lot of people don’t make it, but Konstantine has high hopes for Saef. And then? Saef asks. Well, and then, one gets assigned to a career within the Imperium. Saef doesn’t appear happy to hear that, Konstantine says he has a pamphlet and he has crossed out the most deadly careers. Besides, Saef has had twenty something years of living freely (and is going to have at least few years more) unlike Konstantine who was taken in as an 8 year old. Nothing to complain about, yay?

In the morning Uffe asks if there’s training grounds or something of the like in the ship he could go to let off some extra steam. Gorm takes him there, but upon Uffe asking, says he won’t join him at this time, as he has some people he needs to talk to. Gorm goes to Saef’s room and knocks on the door. When Saef’s voice asks who is it, Gorm replies ”your mom”. Rat comes to open the door and tells Gorm he shouldn’t use that, because Saef won’t open the door for his mom. Gorm asks if Vivek is in (he is) and if they could go get a drink together (sure). Unfortunately, Gorm had forgotten that Gimlet appears to have made the bar his second home. Gorm instructs Vivek to act like they haven’t noticed Gimlet (who doesnt appear to notice them) and they take a booth somewhere far away from him. 

Gorm sits Vivek down and tells him that Uffe had told him about the incident with Vivek. And in fact a similar incident happened last night, but Gorm managed to calm Uffe down. But now Gorm wonders how Vivek managed to calm Uffe down, since Vivek is a tiny man so him sitting on Uffe would do nothing. Vivek says he doesn’t know if he did anything. Vivek had seen that Uffe was barely standing straight, so he had forced him to go to sleep. Later he heard Uffe making noises in Fenrisian (he mimics it well enough for Gorm to recognize the words) and went to wake him up, and at that point Uffe attacked him. Vivek was unarmed, and it was a terrifying situation. His father had always told him that if one gets caught in the factory’s machines, it’s better to go through than try to struggle away, because you might lose a limb, but you won’t die. So that’s what he did, apparently clinging to Uffe, and attempting to calm him down. Maybe that helped, or maybe Uffe realized Vivek wasn’t a threat because he wasn’t struggling. Nonetheless, Uffe came to, and immediately removed himself from the situation. Gorm asks whether Uffe hurt Vivek, and Vivek takes a beat too long to answer, saying that hey, he’s alive. Gorm questions where Uffe hurt Vivek, but Vivek says it doesn’t matter, skitarii are sturdy, and Eden stitched him up, though there will be scars. Gorm is of the opinion he should have told Uffe in the moment, but seems to agree that it wouldn’t be any use at this point. Vivek says it won’t do any good, him knowing, Uffe will just beat himself up over it. That’s apparently the reason he didn’t want to get healed by Gimlet, as he was worried that Gimlet would tell Gorm, who Vivek wasn’t sure at the time knew about this. Gorm says that the turning into a wolf is something that happens to the Space Wolves, but it’s a thing they do not want spread around, just like the AdMechs have stuff they don’t want spread around, but it seems like Vivek is not planning on talking about it to anyone.

With that settled Gorm and Vivek move towards Gimlet’s table. Gorm asks what’s up, but Gimlet seems reluctant to answer. Vivek says he should probably go, that Gimlet wouldn’t want him to be here. Gorm says that Vivek should stay, and this is just the kind of stuff he was talking about when he said he’d beat the two up if they didn’t get along. (Vivek says they are getting along, Gimlet’s going to be the best man in his wedding etc.) Vivek continues saying he doesn’t want to be here, and he’ll just go back to Saef’s room. Gorm says that Uffe is at the training grounds, and after a brief hesitation Vivek says that maybe he’ll go there to catch up with him.

Gorm sits down and asks Gimlet to tell him what’s bothering him. Gimlet is a bit overwhelmed about the whole Inquisitor Fane thing, killing him (he shows Gorm a pic of the corpse, ”nice headshot” - Gorm), but mostly about the things Fane said and knew. Gorm shrugs, and says that’s just another secret for Gimlet to keep. There’s another thing, Gimlet says that his best friend’s gf just dumbed them, and Gorm is like ”I don’t have a gf?” and Gimlet says that he meant Lu Yan. And poor Gorm (on account of barely knowing how relationships work) is like, have they tried marriage? Gimlet is like, yeah, and Gorm says that sometimes people break up, which is surprisingly profound. Gimlet says he’d want to get Lu Yan back to Santa Maria at some point so she wouldn’t be alone, though he’s not quite sure if it’s a good idea. This conversation leads Gimlet to mention that he heard stuff from Gorm’s and Uffe’s room last night. To which Gorm is quick to say Gimlet heard nothing weird, just a normal thing that happens between people who are closer than friends occasionally. So did you or did you not have sex, Gimlet asks. Gorm recoils at the thought, claiming that’s weird, so the matter is dropped. Inpax also worries Gimlet, Gimlet says, mostly the fact she is on the ship and Gimlet has killed an Inquisitor. Gorm says there’s no reason Inpax would or should know about that, but if Inpax needs to be offed, Gorm volunteers. (Gimlet says that is not necessary) Also Gimlet mentions that he has learned his true name, that of Demetrius. Gorm is surprised, he asks if that’s what Gimlet wants to be called from now on, and Gimlet says no, Gimlet is fine for the moment.

Gorm joins Uffe at the training room, where Vivek also is (though he leaves when Uffe gets an actual sparring partner). Uffe mentions to Gorm that Vivek appears to be more talkative towards him again, and that has seemed to cheer Uffe up somewhat.

Gimlet comes to visit Saef and lets him know that Gorm should not be talked about the demons etc Saef summoned. Saef is in complete agreement. Gimlet says that he has told Gorm that it was Inquisitor Fane that summoned the demon in the tank chamber, just so Saef knows that their story is straight. (and Vivek should be informed about their cover story too) Gimlet asks Saef if he has mentioned this to Konstantine, and Saef says that he and Konstantine have definitely talked about some things.

Saef texts Demir to ask if he has ever seen crystals such as the ones Inpax gave him. Demir replies that yeah, as a kid at his father’s lab, but they were whole and stuck to some xenos armor. Saef asks if Demir knows anything about the people who work / used to work with his father. He comes back with three names, a big name tech-priest on Triplex Phall X56r, Eden’s dad E-F \ 721 and an Inquisitor by the name of Engarde that Demir liked as a kid (bc he’s softer than an average AdMech).

THE END

[medieval-murder-cats]

Thunderclan

Looks:

This clan is a short and stocky bunch, in the middle between light and tan due to them always being under a canopy of leaves. They have a variety of eye color, although the hair is mostly brown, grey, or golden, anything else is seen out of the norm and judged upon for not blending in with the environment.

Clothing and weapons:

They mostly end up wearing muted clothes to better to hunt and fight along with, loose clothing is frowned upon due to the thick undergrowth it can be snagged upon which results in most warriors wearing thick but flexible armour thats molded to their skin. Due to them being confined in the trees most warriors opt for hand to hand combat with gauntlets or bracers, although some may also go for knives if they aren't as heavily muscled.

Camp:

Their home is more like a gorge instead of a ravine now, the caves in the side being good enough shelter along with the additional wood and moss being good insulation, they use straw mattresses with vines holding it together and pelts used as the bedding. The gorge is well protected due to the walls being really high up, and the entrance being narrow and covered in hawthorn bushes that apprentices are taught to weave through. The nursery is one of the safest places in camp, being well protected behind a fallen tree, the cave is soft and sandy with pelts covering the hard walls. The leaders cave is at the center of the camp, situated in a hollowed out rock, its the most vulnerable spot due to it being out in the open. The elder cave is a warm hollow, it being one of the most coziest caves in camp, second to the nursery. Builders, blacksmith, and warriors all share a cave, this only used for sleeping and it practically being a giant bed, apprentices cave is much similar but smaller. Traders have their own cave where their goods are stacked outside in the entrance with a tall oak shading the area. Prisoners are tied to a hickory tree next to the warrior cave.

Tattoos:

Thunderclan gets tattoos symbolising their job in the clan, their accomplishments, and name. Herbalists get a mark of a leaf, this mostly being out in plain view, like on the cheek or hand, so other clans can recognise and not attack on sight, warriors end up getting a design of their choice, along with any additional markings to resemble a heroic deed that they did. Builders and blacksmiths both get a hammer, the only difference is that the builders is upright, and the blacksmiths is falling down. When a child is apprenticed they get their chosen profession tattoo halfway through their apprenticeship, when they get their full name at completion of said apprenticeship they have the option of getting a tattoo representing it. The leader gets a star shaped marking on their forehead, herbalists are the only ones who can see the missing points on the star, it resembling how many lives a leader has left.

Tradition:

~ Thunderclan upholds the warrior code in high honor, anyone breaking said code will have the result of a trial. The whole clan gathers around to hear the breakers tale, deciding what the punishment should be, although its almost always the senior warriors that have the loudest voices on what the punishment will be, most cats just sit and watch in interest. The leader and deputy get the final say on what the cost and punishment will end up being, if exiled the guilty will have their markings slashed, how many cuts determine how dangerous the person is.

~ Warriors can call for a “Defense of honor” where they will fight, a nearby senior will set the rules and keep the battle even, if someone is caught cheating then they will automatically lose and will have to accept the cost of losing, which the other warrior has declared before the battle started. If someone is crippled or killed in this battle, then the warrior who caused such severe damage will be exiled, or if the crippled cat survived, then they can choose a different punishment.

Clan teaching:

Children are apprenticed at 12 years of age, before then it's up to the parent/caregiver and elders to teach the child about the warrior code, social hierarchy, and history of the clans. At the age of 18 apprentices will be tested on the path they have taken (warrior, builder, ect) by their mentor and determined if they will get their full name.

Social hierarchy:

Leader

Deputy

Herbalist

Elder

Senior warrior

Novice Warrior

Cook/caregiver

Blacksmith

Builder

Trader

Apprentice

Kit

Prisoner

[quentinsquill]

Eliot Waugh and the Case of the Cocooned Conjurers: Chapter 7

I hope you enjoy the new chapter! 

Summary:

Eliot and Quentin travel to the New Jersey shore to search for clues as to the identity of the killer.

Read it on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17218352/chapters/41895011

                                 Chapter 7: Dr. Quentin Coldwater

The next morning, as we breakfasted on soft-boiled eggs, toast, and a strong, exotic Turkish coffee, neither Eliot or Margo mentioned what had occurred overnight, for which I was grateful. They treated me as they had since we’d met, and as Eliot finished his food, he gave me a bright smile that made him look boyish and lit up his amber eyes with an almost incandescent quality.

 “Are you ready to travel to New Jersey? I’m almost certain that’s where the sandstone came from.”

 “The coastline runs for miles, how do we know where to begin?” I asked, sipping my coffee, and Eliot pushed his plate aside, empty all but for a pile of toast crusts stacked off to one side.

 “Have you heard of Bradley Beach?”

 “That used to be part of the Neptune Township.”

 “Yes, only now it’s incorporated and its own entity. They offered sea bathing access to locals and tourists all summer, but it’s been closed since September.” He lit a cigarette. “The absence of people, coupled with the recent improvements made to the shoreline, could make it convenient for a killer to hide evidence there.”

 “Then why not just do so at the riverfront?” I asked.

 “Too many tourists, and they come all year round. That statue they erected in the harbor brings scores of people here each month, and that’s too many eyes for someone looking to conceal their murderous motives.” He stood. “Come along, the days are getting shorter, so we shouldn’t delay.” He kissed Margo’s cheek as he floated his plate and cup to the nearby sink. “Do try not to throttle any of your shop’s patrons today, you tend to be less patient when I’m not there to rein in your prickliness.”

 “You love my prickliness,” Margo drawled, accepting his kiss. “Watch over each other on your travels.”

 “We will,” Eliot nodded as he opened a portal and waited for me to fetch my coat, scarf, and cane. A moment later we left the comfort of the apartment behind and found ourselves on Bradley Beach. It was deserted and windswept, the lowering grey the same color as the ocean, which was topped with dollops of whitecaps that reared and plunged like miniature steeds. The tip of my cane sunk into the damp sand.

 “It doesn’t look like much,” I observed, and Eliot narrowed his eyes against a bracing wind that flung granules of sand into our faces.

 “Which makes it the ideal place for a killer to perform his dirty deeds, my dear doctor!” Eliot removed the piece of Permian sandstone from his pocket and opened the lid of the small metal container he’d kept it in. He passed a hand over the stone, murmuring, and I recognized a magnetic charm both in language and incantation. The rock rose out of the container and zipped away like a bullet, its outer edges glowing orange. Eliot nodded.

 “It will lead us to its source. Hurry along now!” He followed after it, his loping stride a bit encumbered by the deep, shifting sand. I kept up, determined to not be left behind. I used my cane like a lever, digging the tip deep into the sand and hauling myself forward, taking the longest strides possible. Eliot kept glancing back at me, but I waved him on.

 “Go! I’m all right!”

 He paused only a moment before hurrying on. The stone sailed down the chilly coast before dropping down to vanish under a decrepit wooden pier. It stood at the end of the man-made beach, where huge boulders and craggy outcroppings of smaller rocks marked the end of the safe stretch of sand. A large sign that read KEEP OFF had been jammed between the rocks and the pier, and Eliot ducked underneath the discolored wood.

 “This way!”

 The dock was tall enough that I barely had to stoop to step under its cracked planks. Large wolf spiders, common enough near bodies of water where prey is plentiful, scuttled around the pier’s underside to hide in the cracks and crevices as I passed by. They didn’t frighten me, as I’d seen predatory spiders the size of full-grown horses in the fairy realm, but I moved ahead with a shiver of distaste at how silently they vanished.

 “Quentin! There’s a cavern ahead!” Eliot called, and I hurried to catch up. He’d set a delay on the magnetic spell, and the sandstone buzzed in midair like a furious bumblebee. At the pier’s end, some of the supporting rock had crumbled away, leaving a hole about four feet tall and only slightly wider. The entrance was blacker than an old fountain pen’s nub. I swallowed against a sudden spate of anxiety.

 “We’re going in there?”

 “Indeed we must, if we’re going to find out why this stone was in the dead man’s mouth.”

 “But suppose it’s too small once we climb inside? Or our presence causes a cave in?”

 “My time as a spy taught me to fly in the face of suppose.” He grabbed my wrist and tugged me through the gap as he stooped down low to enter. I gave a startled yelp of dismay, but Eliot was intent on the stone as it raced ahead of us. The cavern’s walls shut out the wind, for which I was grateful, but the cavern’s absolute darkness and fetid odor made me balk. I straightened up, rapped my head on the low, rough ceiling, and Eliot reached back to grip my wrist.

 “Steady, doctor!” He said, and the squeeze he gave my wrist reassured me enough to take a slow, deep breath.

 “Sorry. I was momentarily disoriented.”

 “I understand. It’s darker than the inside of a black cat’s asshole in here! Cast a Chackril’s Sun for us?”

 I nodded and pulled my wrist from his grip before pressing my palms together and murmuring in Arabic as I slowly twisted and pulled them away from each other again, letting the mini sun grow between them. I set it free and it glowed as it bounced against the cavern’s ceiling, illuminating the space and Eliot’s stooped form. He lifted his gaze and pointed at the far end of the cavern.

 “Gods above, look!”

 The cavern’s ceiling sloped upward and the rear expanded to nearly twenty feet across, although it ceased in a dead end about forty paces from where we stood. Eliot headed toward the blind wall, straightening his spine as he was able. The floor of the cavern was a mix of sand, crushed sandstone, and dried seaweed that had washed into the space after countless storms. Eliot crouched down and scooped up a handful of sand before letting it sift between his long, slender fingers.

 “Be a good fellow and bring that sun closer? Yes, there we are,” he nodded as I brought the light closer. He pulled a thin metal tool from inside his vest and expanded it with a flick of his wrist and used one end to search the floor. “Ah!” He exclaimed after a moment, pulling a white fragment of bone from the sand. “Look here, Quentin!” He held it up to the light. “It appears to be a human distal phalanx of the right hand, judging by the angle of the tip.”

 “A finger bone! And all three bodies found were missing their hands.”

 “Indeed they were . . .” Eliot crouch-walked as he used his speculum to unearth more bones. Most of them were fragments and had an oddly polished appearance. I found a thumb with the first three joints attached by a ragged line of decayed tendon, but the bones themselves had that same polished look.

 “Curious,” I muttered, reaching into my inner coat pocket for my spectacles, slipping them on to get a closer look. Eliot glanced over his shoulder.

 “What?”

 “These bones . . . it’s as if they spent years being polished by the tide, the same way water smooths sea glass, yet if these bones are from our victims, they can’t have been here more than a few weeks! The first body was only found about a month ago.”

 “A clever conclusion,” Eliot nodded. “And if these are the same bones, which I daresay they are, what do you think polished them? Think logically, doctor, put magic aside for the moment and use your scientific mind.”

 “Some predators are known to lick or suck bones clean,” I said after a moment. “Large predators especially, such as big cats and omnivorous apes.”

 “Precisely.” My colleague nodded, his eyes bright with excitement. “It seems we’ve found the den of our enemy, where it brought its prey to feast on the hands before bringing the bodies into Manhattan to dump them.”

 “But why only the hands?” I asked. “Why leave the rest?”

 Eliot’s reply was cut off, lost in a sea of sound, one that made us clap our hands over our ears as the terrible squealing sound threatened to render us deaf. We gaped at the source—the same type of webbing we’d seen on the murder victims was now sealing the mouth of the cavern as if knitted by invisible needles. The ground beneath our feet began to bubble, as if it had sprung some inner leak. I gasped in surprise as cold seawater swirled around my ankles. Eliot gave me a shove.

 “Go! Toward the entrance!”

 I obeyed, but the webbing sealed the cavern opening before I could reach it. I backed away, shivering, as the frigid water continued to rise all around us.

[darkmindsthinktwistedthoughts]

Devil’s own Luck - Epilogue

Warning: Mob styling warlords, strong language

Masterlist

---

Epilogue

He told himself each time was the last time and like some helpless addict he caved and went back. After everything had happened [Name] had managed to go back to a normal life. He reminded himself that it was only going to continue that way if he stayed away. He wished for her happiness from the bottom of his shrivelled heart.

The funeral had been quite a modest and he was secretly a little glad that he had been around to see it. She was a vision in black lace, he had to remind himself several times that he was dead to stop himself from just running up to her and hugging her tightly. After it was over and she had left in a car and he had walked up next to the rest of the men in the graveyard and laughed as all but Nobunaga jumped out of their skins at his sudden appearance.

“Oh, for fuck sake can’t you even die properly?” Ieyasu was the first to talk to him. His face a little red as he remembered how he screamed at Mitsuhide’s sight when he touched his shoulder.

“And miss seeing that charming look on your face my dear Yasu?” Mitsuhide winked and smiled.

“I give up I’m not even going to ask where the Hell you’ve been.” Hideyoshi let out a big puff of air as he resigned himself to the fate that Mitsuhide will never change.

“Nice to see you too Hideyoshi.” The snake like grin on his face held real warmth to it as Mitsuhide recalled all the times he had been reprimanded before. You know you love me just get over it.

He wasn’t allowed a moments peace until the he had explained over and over again to the rest of the men about why he had to ‘die’ and yes of course he felt sorry for what he did to [Name] but eventually they did allow him to move past the subject.

“Say what did happen to the guy in my car?” Mitsuhide asked as he took a drink from his glass of single malt.

“Oh, now you remember?” Masa laughed and slapped him on the shoulder.

“Sorry I was a bit busy being dead.” Mitsuhide adjusted his arm so as to not spill his drink.

“It’s all been sorted, both that man and Kennyo are in the facility run by the good doctor.” Nobunaga was swirling his drink in his glass watching the amber coloured liquid as if it was a scrying mirror.

Nothing else needed to be said Mitsuhide was already aware of the facility Nobunaga was talking about and whilst he was glad that it had all been taken care of, a part of him was screaming because he couldn’t take part in any of the ‘treatments’ they would be receiving. Part of that feels wildly unsatisfying, but I guess it can’t be helped.

---

Her routine was the same every day. She would leave for work, grabbing a coffee from the corner shop along the way. Buy a bento at the station and hop on the underground train to the office building. She would have her lunch in the park by the office or sit at her desk in her tiny grey cubical as she continued to organise whatever it was she had been given to do. Then she would return home alone, eat alone, watch tv with her cat and go to bed.

She would often let her mind wander imagining what the guys in the Azuki building would be doing right now. Masa in the kitchen cooking up a storm, Ieyasu mixing up something in his office that smelt strongly of herbs, Hideyoshi shouting at people to stop running in the hallways or just smothering people with his over bearing concern for them. Mitsunari sitting in the study nose in a book forgetting to eat. She even thought of Nobunaga sitting in his office tapping away at his computer or taking a walk around his roof top garden. She had to stop there she couldn’t allow herself to go any further down that path. She knew the next face that she would see and it was the same one she had seen everyday since she was told he was no longer around.

The funeral was quiet and the lack of people had shocked her but she supposed it was just like him. Since then she had just returned to her normal boring unassuming life. Se sighed in her apartment and looked at the boxes she had been sent from Azuki. All her ‘gifts’ and her eyes fell on one painting.

“I really must do something about that.” She picked it up and pulled out some paints and a brush and set to work.

---

It was a hazard of the job he was once again in the neighbourhood gathering intel on something Nobunaga required as he put together his political campaign. He was sitting in his car sorting out papers and checking lists. At least that is what he made it look like he was doing, he was in fact watching her.  

She was in a public gym again. One of those pay per session places that popped up everywhere a few years back. Mitsuhide had gone in once when she was there she was running on a trend mill and didn’t notice him when he was talking to an instructor about available classes. He watched her hair sway back and forth as she moved and remembered how they met, and smiled.

“You know at some point you will either have to tell her or stop doing this to yourself.” Masa spoke matter-of-factly as he opened the car door on the front passenger side and just sat in the seat.

“It would be rather pointless to ask why you have decided to just turn up in my car uninvited I suppose?” Mitsuhide averted his eyes from the gym back to his papers before giving and exasperated sigh at the intruder.

“Yes, I suppose it would.” Masa didn’t care he leaned back in the seat and just looked towards the gym as well. The two men sat in silence in a parking space It wasn’t uncomfortable but it was clear there was words that remained unsaid.

“So… you really liked the Lass huh?” Masa eventually spoke.

“I’m merely keeping a promise.” Mitsuhide replied

“Promise?” Masa tilted his head like a curious puppy.

“I promised I’d keep her safe.” Mitsuhide had thought about forgetting it trying to move on away from it but he felt at least this way he could be sure she was ok. It hurt but it did bring him a little peace.

“Safe? Oh, safe is good very good. But tell me Mitsu does safe always make you happy?” Masa had pulled out two things wrapped in foil from his jacket and was opening one that looked like a burrito.

“What?” The question made Mitsuhide stop and look at the man next to him.

“Well I mean a promise is a promise and kudos for you doing the whole good boy scout thing and holding true to it but some of the happiest things in life are the ones that have a bit of risk to them. It’s that gamble ya know, the whole ‘jeez this is gonna kill me’ buzz that you can’t find anywhere else it really makes you feel alive. You gotta live in the moment sometimes is my point man. The Lass is a wonderful girl you don’t do something about it someone else who is less scared is going to swoop in and take her from you.” Masa was speaking and eating at the same time it was amazing that he could be so audible given the amount of food he was stuffing into his face. Masa was a man with his heart tin the right place even if the execution of such care was lacking sometimes.

“You think I’m scared!?” Mitsuhide was dumbfounded.

“Aren’t you? Anyway, here I brought you food. Eat it.” Masa shoved the other foil packet into Mitsuhide’s hand and left the car as fast as he had entered it. Mitsuhide couldn’t help but laugh.

Hearing Masa describe how he saw the situation was adorably uncomplicated. You really have no idea. Even if I was to over look the fact that I am supposed to be dead she is the one thing I can never ever have. Sometimes the things you have that you want to keep safe are the ones you have to just let go. He took a bite of the burrito that he was sure was delicious, even if he couldn’t judge that for himself looking across the road.

---

“Thank you so much” [Name] smiled at the gallery owner who almost looked like he was beaming since he managed to convince her to allow him to sell her artwork.

It had been something she had put off for a while she hadn’t ever been happy with anything she had done but now well now she had finished something that she could say from the bottom of her heart she was truly happy with.

“Oh no thank you it’s a fantastic piece we’re glad to have it. We’ll contact you as soon as we find a buyer. I’m sure it won’t take long, it really is great.”

“I’ll be waiting… Thanks again.” [Name] was happy she felt light on her feet and as she left the gallery owner gave a polite little bow to her and she returned his gesture.

---

Mitsuhide pulled his car into a familiar spot near her apartment building. He didn’t know why he should really be somewhere, anywhere else right now but so help him he just couldn’t. He saw her eating her lunch in the park she looked tired and he wondered what had put that look of melancholier on her face. He hadn’t seen her look so glum since his funeral.

She came out of the building dressed in running gear, head phones in her ears and hair tied back in a high pony tail. He laughed as he looked at her thinking that she really hadn’t changed one little bit from the night she ran into that gun fight. After stretching a little she started jogging away from the building and he was almost ready to let her leave when he noticed someone move in the direction she had just gone in.

Nothing unusual it’s a public street but still something about how they moved bothered Mitsuhide. He quietly got out of his car and tailed after the mysterious figure that was following [Name].

---

It had been a crappy day she had hoped that eating outside at lunch would have helped but it just didn’t shift anything of how she felt. She couldn’t place it she felt like she was being watched. It was the strangest thing and made her feel really stupid. After she got home and fed the cat she decided that she should go for a run and clear her head. It was getting dark outside but there was still time before it was pitch black and she knew she always felt better after a run.

Standing at the front of her apartment she fiddled with her MP3 player. What she really wanted was to blast her head with music and feel the pavement beneath her feet as she just ran. She almost felt better just thinking of it.

It wasn’t long after she started that she thought she could ‘feel’ someone else around her. She changed routes a few times taking better lit paths busier more crowded areas. She took a wrong turn and found herself in a much quieter place. Ok this isn’t good. If this was a horror film I would so be dead by now.

She turned off her MP3 slipping one of the headphones from her ear and tucking it into her top as she kept moving. Sure, as Hell not making the mistake of not hearing danger this time.

---

Mitsuhide watched as she ducked from place to place and the figure still followed on her heels. Yes, this was definitely wrong. A smile creeped over his face as he watched her. She was aware she was doing everything right and then… oh dear little one wrong way. He moved faster this time once he knew she had made a mistake he slipped like a ghost between some buildings and came out a little ahead of where she was now running. Thank God for knowing the alleyways so well in the city.

She ran right past him and then the figure approached. Mitsuhide could hear the foot falls closer and closer until … he shot his arm out from the gap in the buildings and dragged the would-be attacker into the darkness with him.

Mitsuhide smiled as he looked at the young man he had just captured. He was dressed head to foot in black. How cliché. There was little to the young man’s body the only thing that he could have hoped to have in his benefit had he managed to attack [Name] was his size dominating her. In fact, on closer look he seemed familiar, he looked like one of those gym guys that had been watching her. Mitsuhide pushed hard on his hand that was over the man’s mouth and shoved him back against the wall with a thump.

“Now then what shall I do with you?”

---

Panting [Name] finally made it back to a street she recognised and paused under a shop lamp. She thought she had heard something behind her but she didn’t have the inner strength to actually turn around and check. She just ran.

While she gathered her breath, she felt something cold and wet hit her skin. Oh great. She ducked into the doorway of the building she was standing near and then realised exactly where she was. The gallery.

She smiled and then she caught sight of the painting in the window. A blurry cityscape all blacks and whites, bright neon lights smudged and stark against the background… but the bit that really stood out was the figure in the painting.

A tall figure leaning against a wall dressed in a suit white hair falling into his yellow eyes a cigarette in his hand the smoke curling up and mixing with the greys of the world around him.

[Name] put her hand to the cold glass and smiled before turning around and going home. Perhaps everything had just been in my head since losing you.

---

After [Name] left, a pair of shiny black shoes appeared in the spot by the window that she had been standing on. The rain falling on a tailored trench coat running off glossy black hair as the man smiled at the painting in the gallery.

“I’ll have to have a word in the morning about buying that.” A pair of red eyes shone as he imagined the look on his friends face when he put it on a wall in his office.

---