#all by my self
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When you come to the cinema to watch wicked and you’re the only one in the screening 😳😳😳
(And yes I do have elphabas glasses because I am super cool like that ���
#wicked#wicked film#where is everyone#I guess 12:30 on a Monday is not a busy time to be at a cinema 😂#all by my self#love having the entire cinema to myself#and I won’t have to worry about listening to people singing along#autistic dream!!!
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just sitting alone with my Sluff feelings
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License to Kitty.
#dungeon meshi#izutsumi#marcille donato#chilchuk tims#I still stand by my tags on the Izutsumi character study piece I did in January - but I will repeat myself on a few lines here:#I *really* love this character. I love that all of the dungeon meshi crew are complicated and have difficult to love components.#But Izutsumi is a particular kind of hard to love. I foresee a lot of people being turned off by her abrasiveness and lack of teamwork.#She is very self-centered and openly goes against what the party agrees on.#She's a picky eater in a story that is 50% about eating good and healthy food!#It is in part about her growth but admittedly even *then* she remains rather true to her self-centeredness.#Even though she isn't as nice or funny or compassionate as the others...Izutsumi is still someone worth loving.#Even the more difficult people are someone worth loving.#And those people in turn are people who have something and someone they love.#She may be a girlcat but she is the most human of them all.#I hope that if you are an anime only watcher and are feeling put off by her at the moment; you'll give her a chance.#By the way: *yes* I worked very hard to draw that skateboard pose. It was worth it.#EDIT: HAPPY 500th POST OF POORLY-DRAW-MDZS!!! What a comic to commemorate the milestone with!
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(look at what i have to offer) — this is the spider's nest.
#wild life smp#grian#<- is that really... his tag...?#grian fanart#life series smp#wanted to also make him wear skizz's tie specifically bec i hc he cant tie it properly himself so its always lopsided#perhaps later on he then wraps it around his fist#anyway this was A LOT . simpler in my head. never again will i draw rails#eydidraws#my art#trafficblr#mcyt#self indulgent drawing for me . maybe ill post the original sillier sketches later :'D#also kinda failed but i wanted to give the illusion of 8 legs so shadow-arm-sleeve-coat (left) / shadow-arm-shadow-coat (right)#* extra edit for clarification: yes my wl! grian is wearing mumbo's jacket (all the rips) and skizz's tie (unharmed since he fell) :D#maybe when they resurrect next time ill draw them without it lmao
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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The Doctor!
#casting ncuti gatwa as the doctor gotta be one of the greatest casting decisions ever#can't wait to deeply fall in love with him#also yes I did add my cat to yet another doctor who fanart#minka deserves to be the doctor's companion#I think we can all agree on that#this is a different kind of self insert#doctor who#15th doctor#doctor who fanart#15th doctor fanart#doctor who christmas special#ncuti gatwa#my art
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"free palestine," he shouted until his last breath. aaron bushnell, we will never forget you.
as much as bushnell's actions has moved us all, please seek other ways to take actionable measures against the injustices we face in the world. none of us wanted him gone, and the least we can do is prevent another such tragedy by supporting each other in our efforts to enact lasting change.
#aaron bushnell#the boy with his heart on fire#this is in no way intended to glorify his actions#i do not condone self immolation as an act of protest but i cannot deny that it is something that causes an impact#and it has struck a chord within us all#we must not let his death be in vain#free palestine#my art#original
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you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.
but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.
i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.
so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.
you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."
i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"
"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.
i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.
and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.
you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."
"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."
you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.
i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"
"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."
"do i die?"
you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."
"oh."
"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."
i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.
i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.
"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."
i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.
you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."
"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.
you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."
"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.
i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."
you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."
"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."
"you could always die, to be fair."
i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"
"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."
i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."
"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."
i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"
"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."
i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push the heel of my palm into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"
i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.
"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."
you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.
you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.
i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.
#warm up#prose#i just realized that there's a horror film in there about being someone NOT in a loop.#if i wanted to make it longer i'd have them come back like SUPER battered and hellish.#on round like 999#like halfway through lunch like - YOU . I LOVE U . IM SORRY . I RUINED IT BC I LOVE U CANT U SEE THAT#but like. yeah man what happens when someone else in control of ur destiny#what happens to all the versions of u that DO die...#i also wanted a pre-redemption time looper - this person#(who in my brain is they/them)#is absolutelyyyyyy toying with the narrator bc the time looper is caught up in like#an emo angsty '' i can't have what i want bc i ruin things'' self harm spiral#and like literally the way out of that spiral is to TRY bud.#but this is a person pre-redemption. still kind of an ass. still not really listening to her#still a little bit ignoring that they kissed someone 3 days ago#still KNOWS she likes them and DOES like her back. but is just too chickenshit still.#we're talkin that person we've ALL dated that's like ''i can't be with u anymore bc i am Too Broken and I Can't Stand Hurting U"#... i imagine they grow up tho. eventually.
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Shen Qingqiu, handing Yue Qingyuan a baby: Hold this
Yue Qingyuan: Of course, Xiao-Jiu. Who is this?
Shen Qingqiu: This is Shen Yuan, our child. I gave birth to him. You will take responsibility
Yue Qingyuan: Of course. I will make preparations for our wedding ASAP
Shen Qingqiu: Good.
Qi Qingqi: I don't remember Shen Qingqiu being pregnant?
Mu Qingfang: I believe that our shixiong just grabbed some random orphan to baby trap Yue Qingyuan with
#sj: remember my son - all men are garbage#sy: what about baba?#sj: especially him#sj and yqy get together but still haven't dealt with their miscommunication issues au#shen qingqiu#shen jiu#shen yuan#yue qingyuan#yue qi#qijiu#mu qingfang#qi qingqi#mxtx#svsss#scum villian self saving system
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Here is my last prompt for SVSSSAction's Gotcha For Gaza from an anonymous donor! They asked for some freeform Bingyuan, and I imagined this little scene. Chocolate is good~
#bingyuan#luo bingge#luo binghe#shen yuan#svsss#svsssaction#scum villian self saving system#ren zha fanpai zijiu xitong#comic#myart#gotcha for gaza#i was very busy so it took me a long time to finish all my prompts but now it is done!#I know the current world we live in is terrifying but if you can please still donate to those who need it#or do the next best thing: stay alive and true to yourself
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I believe in the “Everyone is jealous of Shang Qinghua” agenda
#my art#procreate#svsss#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shang qinghua#cumplane#liu qingge#yue qingyuan#qi qingqi#mu qingfang#comic#shang qinghua hoping the others would take pity on him for being bullied more by qingqiu#except why does it feel like everyone all of sudden wants to give him more work?!?#at this rate he’s gonna go into a year long seclusion and come back with coffee#which ofc shen qingqiu is gonna then get even WORSE about ‘bullying’ Qinghua for this drink#its a vicious cycle#blackening of shang qinghua
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Ill post this au( inspired by tweet above) i started on my twt on Tumblr too
First part
more comic panels below
Second part
Third part
Fourth part
Shenanigans side extra
this is currently an ongoing series, if this does well here, I will continue posting these in bulk (~ ̄▽ ̄)~
feel free to ask me ab this au and give your suggestions!
#this is not intended to be the master post so every update i will js link this thread to the new one#also im going off the idea that every named character will be transmigrators (see tweet thread for the og idea)#btw sqq nor lqg will be the most important plot changing narrative catalyst#I want all of my dear transmigrators to have some screentime dammit#as of now only 7/12 PL are transmigrators so more of them will come#archerdoodles#myart#illustration#artwork#drawing#mass transmigration svsss au#svsss au#scum villain#svsss#scum villian self saving system#luo binghe#luo bingge#peerless cucumber#airplane shooting towards the sky#shang qinghua#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#mu qingfang#yue qingyuan#qi qingqi#wei qingwei#liu qingge
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dead man walking
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itadori yuuji#yuji itadori#yuuji#fanart#jjk fanart#not me triple counting that i drew all 20 fingers gHJFHGH#in the sketch i only had 18 so that tells u all u need to know about my ability to count past 5#so much RED in this i feel so at home#challenges self one (1) time to not use red in a piece n IMMEDIATELY drowns the next one in it afterwards#listen . listen ok if tbhk can do it so can i .#is yuuji's character colour technically orange ???? lmao well not with me its not slaps red on that boy#i love u yuuji sorry i keep drawing u sad and/or cannibalistic :(
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they both got bonked for being silly.
#long post#my art#changeling au#zoe's angle is that she wont be “friends” with someone if she doesnt own their name#so marinette being super kind to her but not being owned by her has been driving her up the WALLS#so clearly. do as the chloe does. make a mess#clean it up while playing the victim of circumstance#bam! free marinette!!!#problem is she's engaged to Luka#so shit like this does NOT slide like it has with Zoe's other friends#zoe lee#luka couffaine#adrien agreste#felix fathom#felix is here to play referee in case they all go fucking nuts#luckily luka has better self control than that. and just let himself look scary to emphasize a point#oh also. adrien is like. a cat peacock thing. and zoe is a cat bee thing. so the bi. birds. and thuh. the bees LMAO
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i have started asking myself “how can i make this more fun?” in regards to the things i have to do and it is such a small difference but it brings me so much delight
#🍜#sagittarius posting#but really like i just let myself stim however i want and i let myself do my weird silly harmless stuff#i used to be sooooo self conscious even when all alone! so this has been making me feel braver in a weird and unexpected way#i love joy i will never stop seeking it out!!!#ok to rb#🦠
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It's time I shared art on here after a hot minute, PEAK LORD SY AU LESSSGOO
Extra close ups!!
#jiuyuan#shen yuan#shen jiu#svsss#scum villian self saving system#I love these idiots with all my heart#SJ is just a good boy
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