#all brian wanted was to feel special.......

[acamble]

personally i think they're in love

[halfmoonaria]

what i can’t say

pairing: tara carpenter & female reader

summary: tara wants the only person she can’t have, but she’ll do whatever it takes to change that —even if it means risking everything.

word count: 10.7k

author’s note: yall don’t forget to wish me a happy birthday this friday on the 22nd!

Tara wasn't used to hearing the word "no."

Growing up, she'd mastered the art of getting exactly what she wanted, whether it was a toy, a treat, or just a little more attention.

All it took was a well-timed look, a hint of a pout, or a small scene in a public place—not that she ever felt bad about it. After all, it always worked, and it always felt worth it.

But more than any toy or treat, Tara always seemed to have what she wanted most: you.

Her best friend since... well, since you both were small enough to think scraped knees were the end of the world. You'd been there from the start, the friend who laughed with her, who stood by her through every phase and whim.

Tara didn't have to beg or throw a fit to keep you close. You just were. It was like you were woven into each other's lives, and if anyone asked, she'd say you'd always be there—like you were something she'd managed to keep just for herself.

If anyone asked, Tara couldn't quite recall a time before you.

You were there in every memory that mattered, the friend who understood her quirks, finished her sentences, and knew every dream she'd ever had.

You were inseparable, not just in the way kids cling to each other, but in the way people do when they know they'll never quite find someone who gets them like this again.

You shared everything with your clothes, midnight snacks, and every embarrassing crush you'd ever had.

You laughed together about the silly things you thought were love back then, sharing conversations about who you'd marry someday and who had the best smile.

Although. Tara was always a little quieter during these talks, listening more than sharing, and you never thought much of it. That was just Tara, after all, always keeping a bit of herself back, tucked away in her own mind.

But when it came to your middle school crush, she never missed a chance to tease you, brushing him off as if he wasn't as special as you seemed to think.

She'd laugh and tell you he wasn't as funny as you made him out to be, or that his smile really wasn't anything to write home about.

To you, it was just typical Tara, always finding a way to poke holes in the things you liked.

You didn't notice how her smile faltered when you gushed over him or how her gaze turned a little sharper, though even she didn't fully understand why.

It left her with an uneasy feeling, the kind she could never quite explain, that made her want to change the subject whenever she could.

And as time passed during this time, it seemed like your crush only grew, and so did the way you talked about him.

No matter how many times Tara brushed off your comments or tried to steer the conversation elsewhere, you still lit up whenever his name came up.

Brian.

Brian slipped into conversations almost daily, whether it was about the way he made everyone laugh in class or how he'd held the door for you that morning. And each time you brought him up, Tara felt a pang of irritation she couldn't quite explain.

She never told you how much she despised Brian, but the feeling ran deep. It gnawed at her whenever you mentioned him, and even though she tried to brush it off, she found herself disliking him more and more.

The worst part was, she couldn't understand why. It wasn't like you weren't allowed to like a boy—that was just part of life, after all.

Whenever she hinted at her frustration with her mom, she'd hear the same thing: it was normal, fun even, to have a crush, and Tara would experience it too someday.

But she hadn't. She'd never felt that way about any boy in your grade, no matter how many times she tried to convince herself she should.

It confused her, and in a way, it confused you too. You'd always laughed off the fact that Tara never seemed to "crush" the way you did, teasing her about how she'd figure it out someday.

But whenever you'd gush over Brian, Tara would just sit quietly, trying to ignore the strange knot in her stomach that seemed to tighten with every word you said.

Time went on, and those middle school crushes never quite faded.

Brian only seemed to grow more attractive, transitioning from the shy boy you liked to someone who was effortlessly charming, with a confidence that made everyone notice him.

Back then, you'd have called him "cute," but now, there were new words—hot, gorgeous—terms that made Tara roll her eyes every time they left your mouth.

But you still felt that rush of excitement when he was around, that same giddiness you'd had since you were ten, only now it felt a little more real.

Tara, on the other hand, hadn't changed much when it came to relationships.

While others around you both dated, broke up, and fell in love, she stayed quietly distant, brushing off questions and teasing about why she never seemed interested in anyone.

The truth was, she didn't really know why herself. There was a part of her that felt left out when you gushed about Brian, when your other friends talked about crushes or brought dates to dances. She tried to tell herself that she just wasn't interested yet, that maybe someday she'd feel what everyone else seemed to.

But as the years went by, Tara started to realize that maybe she was different—and she couldn't shake the strange sense of frustration that came with that realization, especially whenever Brian was mentioned.

Somewhere along the way, as high school turned into something more serious, so did her thoughts about you.

Tara didn't want to admit it at first—not to herself, not to anyone. The idea crept up quietly, unexpected and unwanted, like some shadow she couldn't shake.

The way you'd laugh at something silly, the familiar warmth of your hand in hers, or the way her heart would skip when you'd throw an arm around her shoulders. It all made sense now, but it was a sense she desperately didn't want.

When the realization hit her, it was like she couldn't breathe.

There was this tiny voice in her mind that whispered, almost cruelly, You're in love with her. Tara's immediate reaction was to shut it down, to deny it with everything she had. This couldn't be right. She wasn't in love with you.

That wasn't what best friends did. She told herself she was just confused, that maybe it was normal to feel this strongly about someone you'd known your entire life.

But every time she saw you look at Brian—every time you said his name with that sparkle in your eyes—it felt like a punch to the gut, and there was no denying it anymore.

The more she tried to reason with herself, the clearer it became. And that terrified her.

She couldn't let herself feel this way about you. You were her best friend, the person who knew her better than anyone else.

The idea of telling you—of you finding out and looking at her with pity, or worse, disgust—made her stomach twist. She could already imagine the awkward smile, the way you might back away, laugh it off, or even leave her behind. It would shatter her, and she knew that.

And so, she decided then and there that this secret would stay with her.

She'd lock it away, bury it so deep that even she could forget about it someday. Telling anyone—even her parents—wasn't an option.

Not only did she fear their reaction, but she knew they wouldn't understand. To them, you were her friend, nothing more, and the thought of losing you, or of anyone making her feel like her love was wrong, was enough to keep her quiet.

But keeping quiet wasn't easy. The secret felt like it was burning a hole through her, consuming her thoughts and leaving her frustrated in ways she couldn't explain.

She wanted to be around you, but every moment with you felt like a reminder of what she could never have, and it only made the ache grow stronger.

She was angry, scared, and hopelessly in love with the one person she could never tell.

So she became skilled at hiding the depth of her feelings, putting on a mask that had somehow become part of her daily life.

She played her role well, acting like nothing had changed between you both.

At school, she kept her gaze casual, listening to you talk as if she didn't want to lose herself in the way your lips moved.

During sleepovers, she'd lie next to you, forcing herself to focus on anything but the warmth of your arm just inches from hers.

And at parties, now that you were both old enough to go, she'd laugh and dance alongside you, all while pretending her stomach wasn't in knots from the way you looked at her under dim lights, a playful grin lighting up your face.

It was like living with a constant tug-of-war inside her, balancing between wanting to be near you and needing to keep her heart steady.

She'd perfected the art of nonchalance, even when you made it nearly impossible. When you got excited about something—eyes wide, laughing about some small victory—Tara would have to swallow down the urge to reach out, to brush a strand of hair from your face or lean in just a little closer.

The hardest moments were the little things, the 'normal' things, like when you'd give her an easy, carefree compliment, your eyes warm and sincere.

She'd feel the blush rise to her cheeks, and she'd quickly look away or laugh it off, hoping you didn't notice the way her voice wavered.

And when you held her hands, like you always did, squeezing them to give her a little boost of courage, she'd act as though it didn't send her heart racing, as though she wasn't fighting the impulse to hold on tighter.

Every smile you threw her way, every moment you lingered too close, she had to act like it didn't make her insides flip.

She trained herself to respond with that same easy smile, to pretend she didn't feel like the air had been knocked out of her whenever you looked at her like she was the only one in the room.

It was a constant game of pretending, a battle against herself that she had to win every single day.

And as much as she tried to hide it, each touch, each laugh, each simple, familiar look left her more tangled in her own emotions.

She tried to tell herself that these things were just... normal. Friends did these things all the time, she told herself, even if everything in her felt far from normal.

But no matter how many times she told herself that, her resolve was starting to crack. She couldn't help but notice her jealousy flare up when she saw you talking to other people, especially Brian.

Then, one Tuesday at lunch, you dropped a bombshell that flipped her world just a bit more.

She leaned back, half-focused on your conversation with the others at the table, when she saw you walking toward her with a grin so bright it felt like it could light up the whole room.

Tara felt her heart jump at the sight, her thoughts immediately swept into the excitement that was clearly radiating off of you.

You barely took your seat before bursting with excitement. "Tara!"

Tara's smile matched yours, though a part of her already felt a small pang of unease. But she pushed it aside and leaned in eagerly, mirroring your excitement. "What happened?"

You practically glowed as you told her, "He sat next to me in class today." Tara's chest tightened, but she held her expression steady, keeping that casual, easy smile.

She already knew who you meant—you didn't even have to say his name. It was in the way your voice softened, how your eyes sparkled with excitement she rarely saw except when you were really, really happy.

She couldn't stand the sight of it. Seeing you so... in love, so giddy, felt like a punch she wasn't ready for.

You practically glowed, your whole personality seeming to shift as if you were that younger version of yourself again, like back in middle school when every new crush filled you with wide-eyed excitement.

Except now, it wasn't an innocent schoolgirl crush; it was real, and you were already slipping further from her reach with each passing second.

Tara kept smiling, but inside, every bit of her was tangled up in knots.

You'd never look at her like that. Never talk about her with that bubbly, uncontainable happiness. The thought clawed at her, a reminder she could never push away.

She was your best friend, sure, but she'd never be the person who made your cheeks flush or your heart race. And somehow, knowing that made it even harder to keep that same easy smile on her face.

"And?" she asked, hoping her voice didn't betray her, even as she felt a knot forming. She listened as you recounted every word, every laugh you'd shared with him in that class.

Then you dropped the real news, your eyes sparkling. Your grin only widened. "And then, right before class ended, he asked me to go with him to that party next weekend."

Tara's heart sank, yet she barely let the smile slip. She forced herself to open her mouth in surprise, eyes wide, like she was just as thrilled as you were. "Really?" she said, trying to sound as shocked and happy as you seemed, her voice just a bit too bright. "Did you... did you say yes?"

Of course you did. Tara felt stupid for even considering asking you that question.

But you didn't seem to mind, you just nodded eagerly, your whole face lighting up. "Obviously!"

"Oh, wow. That's... that's great, actually," she said, her voice a little too steady, but it was the best she could manage.

Inside, though, she was unraveling. You were actually going with him. It shouldn't have been such a shock—after all, this was what you wanted, right?

But knowing that you'd be there, dressed up, all smiles and laughter... with him... felt like a lead weight sinking in her chest.

She could already picture it, the two of you in some dimly lit room with music thumping, Ethan leaning in close to say something to make you laugh, you smiling up at him like he was the only person in the world.

The thought of it made her throat tighten, her mind racing with feelings she didn't even want to name.

"Are you excited?" she asked, her voice coming out just barely above a whisper. She hoped you wouldn't notice how strained it sounded, how much effort it took just to ask.

You nodded, your smile impossibly bright. "Yeah, I mean... I didn't think he even noticed me like that, you know? But now... maybe he does."

The way you said it—hopeful, almost in disbelief—cut deeper than she wanted to admit. Maybe he does. Those three words stayed in her head, echoing louder with each second.

She was supposed to be happy for you, and maybe part of her was, but mostly, she just felt hollow.

Because even though you'd never know it, she'd been looking at you the way you were looking at him, longing for that same chance to mean something more to you. And now she was faced with the awful reality that she might never get that chance.

Swallowing down the bitterness, she forced a tight-lipped smile. "You'll have a great time, I'm sure."

But even as she said it, a part of her was already wondering if she'd do something she'd regret. The thought of watching you fall for someone else—someone who wasn't her—was more than she could stand.

And as much as she hated to admit it, she knew she'd do almost anything to keep you from slipping away.

Your eyes brightened again. "You should come with us!"

Tara's heart twisted at the invitation, feeling both flattered and devastated. Of course you'd want her there, being the good friend you were—unaware of what it did to her to see you light up over someone else.

Forcing herself to stay casual, she shrugged, managing a small playful smirk. "I'm not exactly great at third-wheeling."

Her voice sounded steady enough, but inside, it felt like she was clinging to the last threads of composure.

She couldn't stand the thought of watching you fall for him right in front of her, yet the idea of saying no, of letting you go without her... that hurt, too.

Maybe if she was there, she could stop whatever was beginning to grow between you and him. Just maybe, she thought, she'd find a way to keep you by her side, where you'd always belonged.

Her mind spun, the smile on her face frozen, all she could focus on was the sinking realization that she might actually lose you.

Until now, she'd convinced herself that her feelings for you were something she could handle, something she'd eventually learn to live with. But now, with Brian's name hanging between you, that quiet acceptance shattered.

She could see the way this might unfold, each painful step already clear in her mind.

She'd watched enough romance movies to know how these things went, and as much as she wanted to push the thoughts away, they crept in, vivid and unrelenting.

First, you'd go to the party together, and maybe he'd make you laugh so much that you'd find yourself leaning in, your hand brushing his.

She could already picture the two of you on future dates—sharing secrets over a quiet dinner or standing too close on some sidewalk, your face lit up in a way that made her stomach twist with envy.

And worse, she could imagine what might happen after those dates, how one day soon he'd reach for your hand, and you wouldn't hesitate to hold his back.

She didn't want to picture it, but the thought seeped into her mind anyway, filling her with a fierce, unfamiliar ache.

The image of you wrapped up in his arms, whispering into his ear, or—even worse—laughing with that same joy you always shared with her, but this time meant for him, made her chest feel hollow.

The thought kept spiraling, her mind betraying her with scenes she couldn't bear to picture.

You, with Brian, alone, closer than she'd ever be, maybe even leaning in for a kiss.

She imagined his hand brushing your cheek, the two of you getting so lost in each other that you forgot everyone else around you—including her.

The jealousy was sharp, hotter than anything she'd felt before.

She hated the way it took over, the way it made her feel small and powerless, like she was losing something that had never even been hers to begin with.

And then, a terrible, aching thought hit her: she might never get to be close to you in that way.

She might never get to be the person who held you, who kissed you, who made you laugh like that.

It wasn't just about watching you fall for someone else—it was the crushing realization that you might never look at her the way you looked at him.

Maybe it would be better if she came along?

The idea took a root in Tara's mind, an unexpected, half-formed plan that both excited and unsettled her.

If she went to the party with you and Brian, it might give her a chance to keep things from moving forward between you two.

She could play it off as tagging along to "keep an eye" on you, to make sure you had fun—and stay close enough to step in if Brian tried anything. It was risky, maybe even a little desperate, but what choice did she have?

At least if she was there, she'd know exactly what was happening. She wouldn't have to lie awake later, imagining him whispering things in your ear, pulling you close, stealing the attention she wanted only for herself.

She could keep you safe from all that, and maybe, if she was careful enough, find subtle ways to draw your attention back to her, where it belonged.

In her mind, it sounded almost justified. A "protective friend" sticking close to make sure you were all right. But the truth simmered beneath that excuse—she knew this was more than friendship, that she wanted to keep you to herself in ways you might never understand.

If Brian was going to try to win you over, he'd have to do it with her there, watching his every move, ready to swoop in the second things started looking too cozy.

And maybe, just maybe, she could find a way to make sure that night ended with you still hers—still looking at her with that easy, trusting smile that had always been her anchor.

Her chest tightened at the thought of it, the chance to stay close to you a little longer, to stave off the reality she dreaded.

If you didn't have the chance to fall for him—if she could prevent that—maybe she'd finally have the time and courage to make you see her the way she saw you.

You nudged her lightly, snapping Tara out of her thoughts, leaning in with that familiar, hopeful smile that always made it so hard to say no to you. "Come on, Tara. It'll be fun—just this once. Please?"

Tara's chest tightened at the way you looked at her, like her answer actually mattered to you. It made something inside her ache, the way your face lit up with excitement, completely oblivious to the storm brewing in her mind.

She should've said no. She wanted to say no.

But the thought of watching you leave without her—without knowing what might happen between you and Brian—made her stomach twist painfully.

And now, thanks to the idea she'd let herself entertain earlier, the thought of staying home didn't feel like an option anymore.

That plan, desperate and reckless as it was, had already taken root, and no matter how much a small part of her whispered it wasn't right, she couldn't let it go.

What if she stayed behind and missed her chance to stop something from blossoming between the two of you? What if she sat in her room, alone, while you fell for him right in front of everyone? The mere idea made her skin crawl.

But going wasn't any better. If she went, she'd have to watch you fawn over him, maybe even see you with him. And that thought was enough to make her want to bolt from the room. Yet here you were, looking at her like her presence actually mattered.

But why? Did you think she needed convincing, or was there some part of you that truly wanted her by your side? Her stomach churned at the thought.

She hesitated, her fingers brushing the hem of her shirt as she tried to keep her expression neutral. If she said no, you'd go without her, and that stung more than she wanted to admit. But if she said yes...

Her mind spun with the possibilities. She didn't even know what she'd do if she went—how far she was willing to take this twisted plan of hers. But what she did know, with a growing certainty, was that she couldn't stay behind. Not when the thought of Brian pulling you closer was enough to make her chest burn with jealousy.

Your face shifted slightly, your brows knitting together when she didn't answer right away.

"Tara," you pressed gently, your voice dipping into that teasing tone you always used when you were trying to coax her into something. "Come on," you pressed again, your grin widening when she hesitated. "You have to come. It won't be the same without you."

It won't be the same without you.

Those words sealed it, though not in the way you meant them to. Something twisted and desperate bloomed in her chest, making her pulse quicken.

You didn't even realize it, but you were giving her exactly what she wanted: a reason to stay close. A reason to be where she could see you—and control what happened between you and Brian.

"Fine," she said at last, forcing a smirk that didn't quite reach her eyes. "But don't complain when I tell you it sucks."

The way your entire face lit up at her answer sent an ache through her chest. Her stomach fluttered against her will, a mix of longing and guilt tangling together in a way that made it hard to breathe. She hated how much it affected her, how happy you seemed just because she'd agreed to go.

She looked away quickly, pretending to focus on something across the room, anything to avoid the way your joy sent another wave of guilt and longing through her.

She knew it wasn't right—none of this was. But she couldn't let it go. Not when her plan had already started to take shape. Not when the thought of Brian having you was enough to make her reckless.

Because no matter how hard she tried to tell herself this was just a party, just a stupid night out, deep down, she knew she wasn't going for the music or the fun.

She was going because if Brian thought he was going to win you over tonight, he was dead wrong.

___

"What about this one?"

Tara looked up from where she was sitting on the edge of your bed, her gaze drawn to the shimmering fabric you held up against yourself. It was a short, fitted dress, one you'd clearly been saving for a moment like this.

The way Tara sat there, watching you flit around the room, sifting through piles of clothes you'd pulled from your closet.

It reminded her of when you were younger, back when the two of you would raid your moms' closets, parading around in oversized heels and dresses that pooled around your feet. You'd giggle uncontrollably, striking exaggerated poses in front of the mirror.

But this wasn't dress-up anymore.

Now, the clothes were your own—real, grown-up outfits that fit you perfectly, accentuating curves and edges Tara wasn't sure she was supposed to notice. It wasn't just playtime; this was your life now. And tonight, you weren't dressing up for laughs or pretend tea parties.

You were dressing up for him.

Her eyes flickered briefly over the dress before settling on your face. You were beaming, the excitement practically radiating off you as you turned to the mirror, holding the dress against your body.

She should've said something. A simple "looks great" or even a teasing "a bit much, don't you think?" would've worked, but the words caught in her throat.

It wasn't the dress—it was the way your whole body hummed with energy, the way your smile was just a little too wide, your movements a little too quick. Tara saw it all, and it was like watching you wear your feelings on your sleeve.

The way you twirled the dress in front of the mirror, the way your hands moved restlessly as you smoothed down imaginary creases—it was all too familiar. She knew exactly what you were feeling, even if you didn't say it out loud.

Did Brian? She doubted it.

He didn't know the little things, like how your voice got higher when you were nervous or how you couldn't stand still when you were excited. He didn't know the way your lips pressed together when you were thinking too hard about something or the way your shoulders tensed when you wanted something to go perfectly.

He didn't know you, not like she did.

"What do you think?" you asked again, snapping her out of her thoughts. You turned, holding the dress out at arm's length, giving her a better look. "Too much? Not enough?"

Tara forced a smile, her heart twisting as she watched you. "I think it's... nice," she said carefully, her voice steady even as her stomach churned.

Nice. The word felt like a betrayal. It didn't come close to how she really felt—how beautiful you looked, how much she wished those bright eyes were sparkling for her instead of someone else.

"You think Brian'll like it?" you asked, your tone innocent, but the question struck Tara like a punch.

She swallowed hard, her fingers curling into the fabric of your comforter. She wanted to tell you Brian didn't deserve you, that he wouldn't know how to appreciate all the little things that made you you. But instead, she kept her tone casual, masking the storm inside her.

"I mean... yeah," she said after a pause. "It's hard not to like you in anything."

Your grin widened, lighting up the room in a way that made her stomach flutter. You didn't notice the tightness in her smile, the way her eyes lingered on you for just a second too long.

"You're the best." you said, turning back to the mirror.

Tara's chest tightened, a quiet ache settling beneath her ribs. She glanced away, forcing a small smile as she leaned back on her hands.

She let her fingers dug slightly into the comforter as she watched you move across the room again, this time heading toward your closet. You sifted through the hangers with an almost frantic energy, pulling out one piece of clothing after another until something caught your eye.

"This," you announced, holding up a sleek black skirt and a tiny top with delicate lace accents.

Tara blinked, her focus shifting from the faint hum of her own thoughts to the outfit in your hands. The skirt was just short enough to grab attention, and the top would clung to the curves in all the right places—your curves, she couldn't help but think.

Her stomach twisted again, but not with the same bitterness from earlier. No, this was something else entirely. She couldn't stop herself from picturing you in it, couldn't stop the way her mind immediately conjured the image of you standing there, all done up, looking effortlessly hot and completely out of her reach.

She swallowed hard, tearing her gaze away. "You're not wearing the dress?" she asked, her voice steadier than she felt.

"Oh, I am," you replied with a grin, holding the outfit closer to her. "This is for you!"

Tara froze. For a moment, she forgot how to breathe, her chest tightening as your words sank in.

She had been so caught up in watching you, so wrapped up in her own spiral of emotions, that she had momentarily forgotten she was actually going to this party.

"Me?" she echoed, her brows furrowing slightly as she tried to act like the idea of dressing up didn't make her stomach drop.

You laughed softly, stepping closer to hold the outfit up against her frame. "Yeah, you! Come on, Tara, you can't just wear that." You half-pointed to her attire.

Tara's eyes darted to the mirror, catching a glimpse of herself in her usual hoodie and jeans.

She had planned on blending into the background tonight, just another shadow in the corner, but now you were holding out a version of herself she wasn't sure she wanted to confront.

"It's... a little much, don't you think?" she murmured, her fingers brushing over the fabric.

"Not at all," you said, undeterred. "Trust me, you'll look amazing.

The way you looked at her, so excited, so hopeful, made it impossible for her to argue. The truth was, she didn't want to blend into the background—not really. Not if it meant letting Brian win.

"Alright," she said finally, forcing a small smirk as she reached for the outfit.

You grinned, clearly thrilled, and the sight sent her heart fluttering all over again.

As she stood up to take the clothes in you, the weight of the night ahead settled on her shoulders again. She knew this wasn't about the clothes or the party. It was about you—about keeping you close, about holding onto the part of you that still felt like hers, even if it wasn't.

And as much as she hated to admit it, she was willing to do whatever it took to keep it that way.

Tara pulled the clothes from your hands, her fingers brushing yours for just a second longer than necessary before she turned away.

She hesitated only briefly, her eyes darting to the bathroom door, but then she decided against it. It wasn't like this was anything new. You'd seen her change plenty of times before.

Slipping off her hoodie, she pulled the top over her head, the soft lace brushing against her skin in a way that felt oddly delicate, almost foreign.

The skirt followed, the fabric snug around her waist and flaring slightly at her hips. When she finally turned back toward you, she caught sight of herself in the mirror.

It was strange. She didn't recognize the girl staring back at her right away—not entirely. The clothes fit her so well, so effortlessly, that she felt a flicker of something unexpected: pride.

She looked... pretty. Not in the same way you did, with your radiant energy that drew everyone in, but still. Pretty enough.

Her heart jumped a little at the thought of you seeing her like this, of you noticing her in the way she always noticed you. She didn't know why she wanted that so badly, but the hope curled tightly in her chest, warm and persistent.

You looked up from where you'd been smoothing out your own dress, and your reaction was immediate. Your eyes widened slightly, and then your face lit up in that effortless way that always made her stomach flutter.

"Tara, oh my god, you look so good," you said, your voice soft but genuine, carrying none of the over-the-top excitement you sometimes used when joking around. This was real.

Tara felt her cheeks warm under your gaze, her fingers automatically reaching to adjust the hem of the skirt, as if she could somehow shield herself from the weight of your words. She tried to play it off, shrugging casually. "It's just a skirt," she mumbled, but her voice lacked its usual bite.

"It's not just a skirt," you countered, stepping closer. "You look amazing. Seriously, this is perfect for you."

Your words were kind, almost too kind, and Tara wasn't sure how to process them. There was no teasing, no playful edge, just an earnestness that made her chest feel tight and achy.

She glanced away, pretending to focus on her reflection again, but the warmth of your approval lingered, sinking into her skin like the lace of the top.

She wanted to feel good about it, to let herself bask in the way you saw her, but the nagging thought that this wasn't for her—that it was all part of your excitement for Brian—kept her grounded.

Still, the way you smiled at her, so unreserved and so entirely you, made her feel something she hadn't in a long time: seen. She wished, just for a second, that you were saying all of this for the same reason she wished you would.

You spun on your heel, nearly tripping over the pile of discarded clothes strewn across the floor in your excitement. Tara's breath caught for a second, her hand twitching instinctively like she was about to reach for you, but you caught yourself, laughing it off as if nothing had happened.

"You need to clean your room before someone gets hurt," Tara muttered, though her tone held more amusement than annoyance.

You ignored her, too caught up in the moment as you reached your makeup table, rifling through your collection with a kind of chaotic precision.

Pulling out a palette, you held it up, the colors catching the light as you grinned at her. "What do you think? Want me to do your makeup?"

Your voice was so full of unfiltered excitement, your smile so wide it made her stomach flip. Tara hesitated, her fingers brushing the hem of her skirt as she glanced at the palette in your hands. She wasn't really the makeup type—not like you were—but the way you looked at her, like you were just waiting to make her feel special, made it impossible to say no.

"You don't have to," Tara said finally, though her voice lacked conviction.

"I want to!" you insisted, stepping closer, the palette still in hand. "Please, Tara? I promise I'll keep it simple. Just a little something to go with the outfit."

She sighed, feigning reluctance as she sat back down on the edge of the bed. "Fine."

You grabbed a chair and pulled it in front of her, gesturing for her to sit. "Alright, let's make you even more stunning."

Tara rolled her eyes, though the faintest smile tugged at the corners of her lips as she leaned forward.

___

The buzz of the party hit you as soon as you stepped through the door.

Music pulsed through the house, the bass vibrating in your chest as voices overlapped in a cacophony of laughter and shouted greetings.

People crowded the space—groups gathered near the kitchen, couples pressed close against walls, and a few brave souls danced in the living room, already letting loose despite how early it was in the night.

You glanced over at Tara, catching the way her shoulders stiffened slightly as the noise and energy enveloped her. She'd been quiet on the drive over, her fingers drumming against her thigh in a way that let you know her nerves were kicking in. But she'd never admit that, not to you.

"See?" you said brightly, bumping her shoulder with yours as you stepped further into the house. "I told you this would be fun."

Tara gave you a look, one that was half-skepticism and half-amusement, as she tugged at the hem of her skirt. "Yeah, we'll see about that."

Your laugh was warm and easy, a sound that somehow made the chaos of the party seem less overwhelming. You reached back to grab her hand, pulling her through the crowd as you made your way toward the kitchen. The feel of your fingers around hers made something in Tara's chest twist uncomfortably, though she forced herself to ignore it.

The kitchen was just as packed as the rest of the house, but you managed to snag two drinks from the counter, handing one to her with a grin. "Alright, party rule number one: stay hydrated."

Tara raised an eyebrow, glancing at the cup in her hand. "This is definitely not water."

"Details." You waved her off, your playful smirk making her stomach flutter in that maddeningly familiar way.

Before she could respond, a voice called out from across the room. "Y/N! There you are!"

Tara's grip on her cup tightened as she followed your gaze, her stomach sinking when she saw him—Brian—making his way toward you. His smile was wide and easy, the kind of grin that would make anyone else swoon.

But Tara wasn't anyone else.

"Brian!" you said, your face lighting up in a way that made Tara's chest ache. She stepped back slightly, letting go of your hand as he drew closer, though her eyes never left you.

He didn't deserve that smile.

Brian's gaze flickered to her briefly, his smile faltering just a bit. "Tara, right?"

She nodded, her expression neutral as she took a sip of her drink. "That's me."

If he noticed the edge in her tone, he didn't comment on it, turning his attention back to you instead. "You look amazing," he said, his eyes raking over your dress in a way that made Tara's jaw tighten.

You beamed at him, clearly pleased by the compliment, and Tara had to look away, her hand gripping her cup so tightly she was surprised it didn't crack.

This was going to be a long night.

And it most definitely was.

As the night went on, the party only grew louder and more chaotic. People drifted in and out of the circle you, Tara, and Brian had settled into, friends of his joining the conversation with easy smiles and casual jokes.

You made a genuine effort to include Tara, always pulling her back in when she started to fade into the background, but it was clear who held your focus.

Brian.

He stood close to you, his arm brushing yours as he leaned in to talk over the music.

You didn't seem to notice—or maybe you did, and you didn't mind. Either way, the proximity between you two only seemed to grow as the minutes ticked by, and Tara couldn't stop watching.

Every time you laughed at something he said, her chest tightened just a little more.

You weren't doing it on purpose. Tara knew that. She knew you didn't notice the way her jaw clenched or how her fingers drummed against her cup.

You were just being you—kind, bubbly, and effortlessly charming. But watching you with Brian, seeing how much of your attention he was soaking up, felt like a slow, relentless sting.

She hadn't expected it to bother her this much.

At first, Tara tried to play along, chiming in when she could and taking small sips of her drink to distract herself.

But then Brian's friends started joining the conversation, their loud energy making it harder for her to keep up. You were still trying to include her, turning to her every so often to ask her opinion or flash her one of your brilliant smiles, but it wasn't enough.

Not when you lit up like a damn firework every time Brian said something that made you laugh.

Tara tipped back her cup, finishing it quicker than she probably should have. She wasn't much of a drinker to begin with—she never really liked how it made her feel—but tonight was different. Tonight, she needed the edge taken off.

"Want another?" you asked, noticing her empty cup.

She hesitated, but before she could respond, Brian offered. "I'll grab her one. Be right back."

She opened her mouth to say she didn't need another, but he was already walking away.

You smiled after him before turning back to Tara, your expression so full of effortless warmth it made her stomach churn. "You having fun?"

She forced a small nod, her grip tightening on the plastic cup. "Yeah. It's... fine."

You didn't notice the strain in her voice, too caught up in the energy of the party to catch on.

By the time Brian returned with her drink, she'd already decided she wasn't going to overthink it. She took it with a quiet "thanks" and drank just enough to feel the buzz set in. It wasn't much—maybe two drinks total—but Tara was short, and she always felt the effects quicker than most.

The alcohol didn't drown out her frustration, though.

Every laugh you gave Brian, every time you leaned in to whisper something to him, only seemed to magnify it.

And you? You were oblivious. Still trying to keep her in the conversation, pulling her in with the same ease you always had. But she could feel the gap widening.

Tara's foot tapped against the floor as she shifted her weight, her eyes flickering between you and Brian. She should've left, should've wandered off to another part of the house to escape this torturous little triangle, but she stayed.

Because if she left, she'd have to admit to herself why she couldn't handle this.

So instead, she took another sip of her drink and plastered on a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"You okay?" you asked, your voice cutting through her thoughts.

"Yeah," she said quickly, her words sharper than she intended. "I'm fine."

But she wasn't. And as the night wore on, that became harder and harder to hide.

And after an hour, or maybe even more.

The alcohol was definitely working its way through Tara's veins. She could feel it, the familiar warmth spreading through her chest, making her limbs feel looser but her thoughts louder.

The edges of the room blurred ever so slightly, but her focus on you was sharp as ever, almost painfully so.

You were giggling at something Brian said again, your hand brushing his arm like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Tara had been watching you both like a hawk all night, trying to play it cool, but the subtle touches, the shared smiles, the way your eyes sparkled when you looked at him—it was getting under her skin.

She clenched her jaw, tipping back the rest of her drink as if it might drown out the frustration bubbling inside her. But it didn't.

It wasn't just the alcohol making her feel reckless, though it didn't help. Tara was desperate.

Desperate to do something—anything—that might shift the balance back in her favor. But how? She wasn't like Brian. She didn't have easy jokes or effortless charm. And she wasn't like you, all soft laughter and open smiles.

So she sat there, stewing in her own silence, searching for an opening she couldn't find.

Then she turned her head for just a moment.

A distraction—a loud burst of laughter from somewhere across the room. She glanced over, barely processing the source, and when she looked back...

Her heart stopped.

You and Brian were kissing.

It wasn't shy or hesitant. It was full and unguarded, like something out of the movies. His hands rested lightly on your waist, your fingers clutching the front of his shirt as though you were afraid to let go.

Tara's first thought wasn't sadness. It wasn't heartbreak or even surprise.

It was rage.

Her body went rigid, the plastic cup in her hand creaking under the force of her grip.

Because of course this wasn't a problem.

Why would it be?

You weren't hers. You'd never been hers. You were allowed to kiss boys, especially the boy you'd been crushing on for as long as she could remember. It wasn't like you were breaking some unspoken rule. She had no claim to you, no right to feel betrayed or blindsided.

But God, it felt like a betrayal.

Her rational mind tried to reason with her, repeating the same useless mantra: This isn't a problem. This isn't a problem. This isn't a problem.

But the other side of her mind—the side that had been clawing its way to the surface all night—was screaming the opposite.

It was a problem. A huge one.

The anger burned through her like a wildfire, consuming every rational thought as it spread. It started in her chest, hot and heavy, before curling into her throat and setting her teeth on edge. Her nails dug into the soft plastic of her cup until it crumpled under her grip, a sharp crack breaking through the buzz of the party.

And still, she couldn't look away.

She hated it. Hated the way his hands touched you so easily, like he'd earned that right. Hated the way you kissed him back like you'd been waiting for this your whole life. Hated how he got to have what she wanted so desperately without even knowing how much it mattered.

Her breaths came quicker, each one catching in her chest as if she couldn't quite fill her lungs. The alcohol amplified everything, stripping her bare of the filters she usually relied on. Every raw, unspoken feeling she'd buried for years was rising to the surface now, and there was no stopping it.

She wanted to scream.

To grab you and pull you away, to tell Brian to get his hands off you, to do something.

But she didn't.

Because no matter how angry she was, no matter how much she hated what she was seeing, there was a part of her—a small, quiet, agonizing part—that whispered:

You're not supposed to feel like this.

So instead, Tara sat there, her body tense and trembling, her nails biting into the palms of her hands. She didn't even realize she'd crumpled her cup until the sticky remnants of her drink dripped onto her lap.

And still, she couldn't look away.

Eventually you pulled back from Brian, cheeks flushed and eyes slightly glassy from the alcohol coursing through your system.

A small, almost dazed laugh escaped your lips as you glanced at him, then turned to find Tara in the crowd. She hadn't moved from where she'd been watching, her posture stiff and her eyes fixed on some indistinct point on the wall—anywhere but you.

When your gaze landed on her, your smile widened, bright and unrestrained, like you hadn't just set her entire world on fire.

Tara's chest tightened, the molten frustration inside her bubbling hotter with every passing second. She couldn't stop her thoughts, couldn't silence the storm brewing in her mind.

You stumbled a little as you reached her, still grinning like a fool, your energy infectious to everyone but Tara. You leaned close, tipping forward on your toes, your voice loud but slurred enough to betray your tipsy state.

"I think he kissed me," you said, as if it hadn't been entirely mutual.

Tara felt something snap.

Her fingers curled into fists at her sides, her nails digging into her palms so hard she half-expected to draw blood.

She couldn't speak, couldn't trust herself to even try. If she opened her mouth, she was sure she'd yell or say something she couldn't take back. Worse, she might cry—and that wasn't an option.

Her silence stretched on, but you didn't seem to notice. You were too lost in your own world, your thoughts spinning with the buzz of the alcohol and the remnants of Brian's touch. Tara's silence didn't matter, because you filled the space with another easy laugh, leaning closer so she could hear you over the pounding music.

"I need to use the bathroom," you said, your lips brushing near her ear. The warmth of your breath made her stomach twist. "Wanna come?"

Tara's mind scrambled for an excuse, her mouth dry as she fought the urge to say something reckless.

"No," she said finally, forcing her voice to sound casual, detached. "I think I'm good down here."

It wasn't true. She wasn't good down here, or anywhere else in the universe at that moment.

You gave her a light shrug, your expression still full of that easy joy that made her want to scream. "Okay! Be right back!"

You disappeared into the crowd, weaving your way toward the bathroom, leaving Tara standing there alone.

The second you were out of sight, she exhaled sharply, her hands shaking as she reached for another drink she didn't need.

She wasn't sure if it was the alcohol, the anger, or the ache of jealousy threatening to overwhelm her. Maybe it was all three, swirling into something she couldn't control.

But one thing was clear—she couldn't keep this up. Not tonight. Not with you and Brian. Not with her chest full of feelings she couldn't name and didn't want to face.

Tara's eyes burned as they landed on Brian, standing not far from where you'd left him. His posture was easy, relaxed—too relaxed.

He stood there like nothing had happened, chatting casually with a couple of his friends, his hand lifting a red cup to his lips like this was just another night. Like he hadn't just kissed you.

The most beautiful girl on the planet.

Tara felt her stomach twist painfully, her grip tightening around the drink in her hand. How could he be so unbothered? So unaffected? He wasn't grinning ear to ear, wasn't puffing out his chest or gushing about how lucky he was.

He wasn't laughing with joy or smirking proudly like any sane person would if they'd just kissed you.

How was he not telling everyone in earshot about what had happened? How was he not reeling from the fact that you—you, with your blinding smile and endless energy—had given him even a second of your time, let alone your lips?

Her jaw clenched, teeth grinding together as she stared at him, her anger bubbling hotter with every second he stayed calm. Her hands itched to grab him by the collar, to shake him and demand he act like he understood the weight of what had just happened.

Did he even realize how lucky he was?

Did he know how many people in that room—how many people in general—would kill to be in his place? To have even the tiniest fraction of your attention, let alone that?

Her vision blurred, and it wasn't from the alcohol. Her chest felt like it was about to implode, like something inside her was trying desperately to escape, and she didn't know how much longer she could keep it together.

Brian's laughter snapped her out of her spiraling thoughts. He was laughing at something one of his friends said, his expression light, carefree—unbothered.

Tara nearly saw red.

She downed the rest of her drink in one go, the sharp burn doing nothing to dull the fury roaring in her chest. How could he be like this? How could he act so normal, so indifferent, after kissing you?

How could he not be overwhelmed by the fact that you'd chosen him, even for a fleeting moment?

It was insulting. Infuriating.

She wanted to march over there, to grab him and make him feel the way she was feeling. She wanted him to hurt, to ache, to boil with jealousy the way she was.

But she couldn't.

Because none of this was his fault.

The real issue—the one she didn't want to admit—wasn't Brian. It was the simple, heartbreaking truth that he could kiss you without consequence.

He could have you.

Tara wasn't sure what happened next.

What she was thinking when it happened, or if she was even thinking at all. Maybe it was the anger—burning hot and uncontrollable—making her body move before her brain could catch up. Or maybe it was the alcohol, buzzing in her veins and drowning out every voice in her head that might've told her to stop.

All she knew was that one second she was standing there, glaring at Brian like he'd committed some unforgivable sin, and the next, she was storming toward him.

His friends noticed her first, their chatter faltering as they shifted awkwardly under her sharp glare. But Brian, oblivious as ever, didn't see her coming. He was mid-sentence, that stupidly calm look still plastered on his face, when Tara grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him down to her level.

The movement was forceful enough to knock the air out of both of them, and before he could even process what was happening—before she could process what was happening—she pressed her lips against his.

It wasn't soft.

It wasn't sweet.

It was messy, rough, and fueled by a cocktail of rage and desperation. Her hands fisted his shirt tightly, holding him in place, her nails biting into the fabric. Brian stiffened for a second, shocked, but then his hands hovered awkwardly near her waist, unsure of what to do.

Tara didn't care. She didn't care about his reaction, about his hesitation.

Because this wasn't about him.

It wasn't about his stupid, clueless face or the fact that he'd kissed you without giving it a second thought. It wasn't about him being unbothered or unaffected.

This was about her.

Her anger, her frustration, her absolute inability to sit there for another second and watch him act like kissing you was nothing.

The kiss deepened as her grip on his shirt tightened, pulling him even closer. She wanted to erase the memory of you from his lips, to replace it with her own. To make him feel something, anything, the way she was feeling.

But it wasn't working.

If anything, the kiss only made it worse.

Because no matter how hard she pressed, no matter how desperate her movements were, it didn't feel right.

It didn't feel like you.

And that thought was like a punch to the gut.

Brian made a soft, surprised noise against her lips, his hands finally settling on her hips, but it only made her angrier. How dare he hesitate now? How dare he act so unsure, like he didn't know exactly what he wanted when he'd so easily taken you from her just minutes ago?

Her chest heaved as she pulled back slightly, her lips still brushing against his, her heart pounding in her ears.

His wide eyes stared at her, confused and more than a little alarmed. "Tara—" his voice laced with bewilderment, but she silenced him with another kiss, pressing harder, needing to cut him off.

She didn't want to hear his voice. She didn't want to hear him try to make sense of this, because she didn't have an explanation. This wasn't about him.

It wasn't about you either—not entirely, at least.

It was about her. About the way she felt like she was unraveling, about how every smile you gave Brian felt like another thread being yanked loose, every laugh you shared with him felt like a blow to the chest.

She didn't know how to make it stop, and the only thing her mind could come up with was this. She didn't have to think when she was kissing Brian. Didn't have to feel the jagged ache of watching you be so happy with someone else.

This wasn't about him.

But it was all she could do to stop herself from falling apart completely.

And Tara wasn't sure what was happening anymore.

Brian hadn't pushed her away. He hadn't stopped her, hadn't hesitated for even a moment after that first surprised noise.

No, he'd leaned into it. He'd kissed her back with the kind of intent that only made her angrier, made the fire in her chest blaze so hot she thought she might combust right there.

Because it wasn't supposed to go like this.

His hands slid from her hips, pulling her closer, pressing her tighter against him, and she hated it. Hated the way he responded like this was exactly what he wanted, hated the way he kissed her back like she wasn't just a replacement for you.

And worse than anything, she hated herself for not stopping it.

His hands moved lower, gripping her ass, pulling her even closer, and she felt herself clench her fists tighter into the fabric of his shirt.

She didn't know if it was the alcohol buzzing in her veins, numbing her better judgment, or if it was the anger still consuming her every thought, but she didn't do anything to stop him.

She should've.

But she didn't.

Because in this moment, it wasn't about him. It wasn't even about you. It was about the chaos she felt boiling in her chest, about the way she felt like she was spiraling further and further out of control.

Brian murmured something against her lips—she didn't catch it, didn't even try to—but his hands stayed firm on her, guiding her, pulling her toward the stairs.

And she let him.

Every step felt like she was wading through quicksand, her mind shouting at her to stop, to push him away, to pull herself together. But her body wasn't listening. She didn't know if it was the heat of his hands on her or the fog of alcohol clouding her better judgment, but she let him lead her.

Because stopping meant facing the truth. And Tara wasn't ready to do that.

Not yet.

She'd barely registered how they ended up in the room. One second, she was being pulled up the stairs, Brian's hand gripping hers tightly, and the next, they were in a dimly lit bedroom, the door clicking shut behind them.

Her heart was racing, but not from excitement. There was no thrill, no anticipation, just a gnawing sense of wrongness she couldn't shake. Yet she didn't stop it. She didn't stop him as his hands found her waist, as his lips trailed down her neck. She didn't stop herself from responding, from letting this spiral further than it ever should have.

It was mechanical, empty, and every moment felt like it was happening to someone else. Brian's touch wasn't unpleasant, but it wasn't what she wanted. His lips weren't the ones she craved, his hands didn't spark anything but an aching hollowness inside her.

And yet, she let it happen.

Because, for a fleeting second, it felt like power. Like control. Like maybe, just maybe, if she could take this from him—take you from him in some twisted, nonsensical way—it would hurt less.

But it didn't.

Every touch, every kiss, every whispered word she barely heard, only drove the knife deeper into her chest.

When it was over, the silence was deafening. Tara lay there, staring at the ceiling, her body still and her mind racing. Brian shifted beside her, saying something she didn't hear, and the sound of his voice made her stomach twist. She felt nauseous, disgusted—not with him, but with herself.

What had she done?

Her chest tightened as she fought to keep her breathing steady, refusing to let him see the tears threatening to spill over. It hadn't helped. It hadn't made anything better. If anything, it had only made everything worse.

Because no matter what she did, no matter how far she went, it would never be enough to make her stop wanting you.

Afterwards Tara laid still, the dim light of the room casting shadows that felt too heavy, too oppressive.

Brian was beside her, breathing evening out as if nothing monumental had just happened. As if this was just another casual moment in his life.

Her mind, however, wouldn't stop.

It wasn't Brian she was thinking about—not the way he'd touched her, not the way he'd looked at her. No, every thought clawed its way back to you.

She pictured you in the bathroom, probably still staring at yourself in the mirror, giddy and flushed. She could almost see your smile, so wide it was infectious, and the way you'd probably tilt your head, trying to relive every second of that kiss.

You'd been dreaming of that moment since second grade, scribbling his name in the margins of your notebooks and lighting up every time he was near. Tara could already imagine how you'd be practically glowing, heart racing with excitement as you ran your fingers over your lips, trying to make the feeling last.

She wanted to hate you for it. But she couldn't. She never could.

You'd come out of that bathroom with a smile so bright it could light up the whole house, your hopeful eyes scanning the crowd as you made your way back to the spot you'd all been standing. And what would you find?

Nothing.

Tara wasn't there. Brian wasn't there.

She could imagine how your smile would falter, confusion settling in as you looked around, searching for the two people who were supposed to be waiting for you. How long would it take for the excitement to drain from your face? How quickly would hope turn to disappointment?

The thought was like a knife twisting in her gut.

And yet, she still couldn't make sense of why she'd done this. Why she'd let it happen. Because it didn't feel like she'd won anything. She hadn't taken Brian away from you. If anything, she'd stolen something from herself—something she could never get back.

Her chest tightened as the realization hit her like a freight train. She hadn't wanted him. She hadn't wanted this.

She'd wanted you.

And now she'd ruined everything.

[arieslost]

MONACO | cl16

summary: aries’ gift to you all after she watched her favorite driver win his home race <3

word count: 802

masterlist — join my tag list here!

© arieslost 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

the finish line at monaco has always been more of a daunting sight as opposed to an exciting one. you spent every single lap of every single monaco grand prix with your fingers tightly crossed, your lips colorless from how hard you’d press them together, just for a disappointing circumstance to rear its head.

you do the same thing today. but today is not last year, or the year before, or any time you’ve watched your boyfriend race in the heart of his hometown. today is the 26th of may, 2024, and charles leclerc is crossing the finish line as a winner.

every time he’s won has been special, but nothing holds a candle to this. it’s monaco. the streets of his childhood, the track he dreamed of winning on since he could remember.

“we won it! finally!” brian shouts over the radio, and immediately you can hear charles screaming back, crying out “YES!” over and over.

pascale, standing shoulder to shoulder with you as she had been for practically the entire race, reaches over and pulls you into a tight embrace.

“congratulations,” you say loudly in her ear so she can hear you over the cheers of everyone around you. “i can’t imagine how proud of him you are.”

“i think you can,” she replies, kissing your cheek and running her hands up and down your arms with a wide smile. “you’ve been by his side through every obstacle, just like i have.”

your eyes well with tears, and she hugs you again. “you’d better get out there. you know he always looks for you first.”

simultaneously, brian appears at your shoulder and takes your hand. “come on, come with me!”

you take a moment to hug him, the two of you jumping up and down in each other’s arms before you’re both running through the crowds of people to get a clear view of the podium, namely the top step.

you try to hold it together, because you know that a camera could focus in on you at any time, but when charles takes his place between carlos and oscar, his flag draped over his shoulders and a smile on his face that looks almost painful, you realize you never had a chance. the tears stream down your face, but you don’t even bother wiping them away. you can’t tear your gaze from the beautiful sight of your charlie at the top step in monaco. monaco.

his eyes find you as everyone sings along to the italian national anthem, the two of you included. you try to convey everything you can’t say to him yet through your eyes, and something about his expression tells you that he understands.

finally, after the ceremony is concluded and everyone is thoroughly doused in champagne (you and everyone in your general area as well, courtesy of charles), you’ve made your way back to ferrari’s hospitality and are now sitting waiting as patiently as you can to congratulate charles yourself.

thankfully, you don’t have to wait very long.

charles practically comes barreling through the door, first place trophy still clutched in his hand, race suit and hat drenched in champagne, and you don’t even feel the stickiness of it when you meet him in the middle of the room, both of you laughing hysterically.

adrenaline still pumping through his veins, charles wraps his arms around you and lifts you high in the air, spinning you around as many times as he can before he feels like he’s going to fall over. breathlessly, he sets you down, pressing his forehead to yours and closing his eyes.

“i’m so proud of you, cha,” you breathe out, fingers brushing through the hair at the back of his head before cupping his cheeks. “wow, i had so many things i wanted to say to you and now i can’t remember any of it.”

“c’est bon, mon amour,” he whispers, tilting his chin up to capture your lips in a slow, languid kiss. “just hold onto me for a minute.”

you don’t have to be told twice. you loop your arms around his neck, keeping your forehead firmly pressed against his, breathing in tandem with him and accepting every kiss he presses against your lips while his hands caress the slope of your back.

“i think you have some jumping in the harbor to do,” you say eventually, though you wish you could stay like this forever.

“with you?” he asks slyly, raising his eyebrows.

“i don’t think so,” you laugh.

but in the years you’ve spent with him, you’ve learned that when charles leclerc wants something, he will get his way. and that’s how you find yourself tightly gripping his hand as you leap into the monaco harbor with your race winner without regretting it for a single second.

note: oh guys. i cried today. i really did. i’m so happy for him and so damn proud. the first monegasque driver to win his home race in 93 years. tifosi, we celebrate <3

my inbox is always open for comments, criticism, and conversation! feel free to pop in!

reblogs are greatly appreciated <33

dividers by @/saradika

tags: @venusacrossthestars @67-angelofthelordme-67 @emails-i-can-send @nelly187 @cixrosie @fangirl-dot-com @sainzluvrr @imheretoread @mellowarcadefun @yourbane @monsieurbacteria6 @c-losur3 @papayatori @ssprayberrythings @namgification @maih23 @evlkking @witchycarmen @ilovethispookie @maxverstappenfan79 @sya-skies @sweatrevenge5436-blog @kimis-gloves @mia-rrrs @decafmickey @customsbyjcg-blog @bigheartsthings @tania2748 @scuderiadevils @iloveyou3000morgan @ctrlyomomma @hiireadstuff @daemyratwst @arian-directioner @evelyn-ny @avg-golden-retriever @likedbygaslyy @vintagefucksstuff @piastorys @jisungstuff @personwhoisther @bernelflo @ahgase99 @ferrarisfailedstrats @levidazai @brune77e @watersquirtpewpewboomm @teamnovalak

[taylormarieee]

You make me wanna...

Summary: You make Brian wanna fuck you dumb...

Pairing: Brian O'Connor x Fem!black!Reader

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: PiV sex, Sex in the car, Semi-Public, Arguing, Porn with plot, Fingering, Unprotected Sex,Established Relationship, teasing cuz it's Brian...

A/N: I have no idea if people even read Brian O'Connor fanfiction but I'm gonna write it anyway because I'm obsessed with this man!

Brian was a man of his word. If he said he was going to win this race for you, then that's exactly what he was going to do.

"Hey mama!" Brian calls out with a cat call. You roll your eyes and smile at him.

"Hey blondie! You know i'm your girlfriend right?" You ask with a smirk on your face and a raised eyebrow.

He chuckles and his voice gets lower as he whispers in your ear. "I know mama. Just wanted to show people what's mine." He looks back at you with his charming smile.

You giggle as heat rushes to your face and ears. Your neck gets hot as you shift your weight.

"Good Luck out there Blondie!" You wink at him and walk away joining the crowd.

You watch him wink back at you and laugh. He walks to his car and they all rev their engines.

Somebody yells go and their off. Brian swerves a bit but he makes it. He races down and you cheer for him.

"Yea! That's my baby! Look at him go!" A lot of other people cheer with you.

When the race is almost over you see the cars speeding down. You decide to start chanting as you see him in the lead.

"Blondie! Blondie! Blondie!" As you chant, the people who were rooting for Brian chant as well.

When his car passes the finish line first you scream at the top of your lungs.

You see him exit his car and you rush over to him. You jump into his muscular veiny arms and he spins you around.

"You saw me? I won mama!" He exclaims. "You sure did blondie!"

He stares at you for a couple of seconds before he pulls you closer by your waist and kisses you roughly.

When you both pull away, Brian muttes something, "God you make me wanna..." He trails off and you tilt your head at him.

"I make you wanna what?" You say amused as to what goofy thing he's going to say next.

He licks his lips and motions to his car. You follow him and get inside the passengers seat.

"Let's go for a ride baby. Wanna take ya somewhere special." He says smiling.

You giggle and get comfy. "Ok my Prince." You say laughing. "You better be a good passenger princes, not a naughty one." He starts.

"But of course I'll except both." He finishes winking at you with that sly charming smile he always has.

When you guys reach the top of a hill he grins. "I think right here is perfect." He said as he reached over and kissed you.

"Brian! We're in public!" you giggle as he grabs you and brings you closer to him so you straddle his waist.

"So? Let them watch the show." He responds unfazed. He kisses your neck and runs his hands up and down your curves.

He pushes the seat all the way back and you fall on his chest. You hear his rapid heartbeat.

You look up at him through your lashes and bite your lip seductively. Brian mutters a 'fuck' before grabbing your jaw and kissing you passionately.

You tug on the hem of his shirt and he reaches to pull it over his head. You run your warm hands down his sweaty chest.

"Fuck Brian" You whimper out as you grind on his hard-on. You close your eyes as the friction you feel is blissful.

"Your so gorgeous... You make me wanna fuck you dumb." He rasps.

You whimper at his words as you continue to search for more of that blissful friction you were receiving.

"Please Brian... I need you." you whisper to him in a whiny voice. He chuckles and speaks, "You gonna be a good girl?" He questions

"Yesss! I'll be such a good girl for you Bri... you and you only." You whimper.

He nods his head and begins to take off your clothes. The windows are starting to fog up from the heavy breathing.

"I don't know baby, might have to play with you first." He says smirking at you as he runs his fingers up your slit to your pulsating bud and back again.

You whimper at the sensation and begin to grind on his finger. While doing so, his finger accidentally slips in you from how soaked you are.

"Oh fuck Brian! Feels good..." You whimper. His smirk never leaves his face as he adds an extra finger inside you. First was his middle finger now his ring finger and boy did it feel euphoric.

His pace quickens inside you and your body jolts with every hard thrust his fingers bring to your abused cunt.

"Yea? You like that baby?"

"My fingers fucking the shit outta you, hmm?"

"Being such a good slut for me aren't you baby?"

"My good girl all nice and wet, just for me."

"Such a dirty girl? You like the feeling of getting caught don't you?"

"Having all those people hear you scream my name? Let them know who fucks you dumb?" He teases.

His voice and dirty words made you clench around his fingers hard. You felt your orgasm. You were at the tip of the cliff ready to fall in the ocean of bliss and euphoria.

All you needed was that one push...

"I-I'm gonna- fuck- ngh- I'm cumming brian! Please let me cum!" You whimper holding on to his bicep and the car seat.

"Go ahead mama. Leak your juices all over me." He says and just as he said it you make it happen.

You squirt and leak your juices all on his abdomen and raging cock. He praises you through it with 'good girl's' and "Yes mama. Just like that."

Your shaking from that orgasm. He takes note on your shaky legs and suddenly feels the need to make them even shakier.

He wants to make you lose your walking privileges and fuck you so dumb you don't even remember your own name.

He smirks at the idea and his cock jumps out of excitement to destroy you in ways no other man would be able to.

"Mama, you gonna gimme one more ok? You can take it." He says as he lifts your hips to line himeself up with your puffy entrance.

You whimper and try to shake your head no but your already so fucked out.

When he finally slides into you your eyes widen at the delicious feeling of the stretch his cock is giving to you.

You moan out his name for anyone near Brian's car to hear. "Oh Briannn!"

"Fuck mama, your tight as shit baby, fuck yea." He says as he bottoms out inside you.

Eyes rolling in the back of your head at how hard he's thrusting up into you. Not even giving you time to adjust to his length.

You squeal and hold onto his shoulders for support as his thrust almost knock you over.

Your so fucked out and dizzy you're barely processing what is happening and can't make out half the things brian is saying to you.

"Bri... f-fuck." You stutter feeling his cock hit that one spot in you just right. Your legs feel numb and your body feels hot and tingly.

Brian on the other hand is enjoying the look on your face. Pretty swollen lips parted, heavily breathing, tits out and bouncing, pussy nice and tight gripping his cock hard. He loved everything about you.

Your melanin skin glistening with sweat, your braids tied up in a nice ponytail swinging with every thrust he gives you.

"I-I can't take no more bri."

"Yes you can mama. Come on, take this dick like a good girl baby." He encourages.

"I'm close bri!" You cry out, he smiles and whispers in your ear..." Me too baby, cum with me?" He asks.

You shake your head and try to hold it for as long as you can. Brian grunts in your ear and you feel his cock twitch inside you.

Immediately he says, "Cum baby!" You cum hard on his cock, eyes rolled back and feeling dizzy.

Your orgasm washes over you like a wave. Brian's orgasm hits him like thunder. His thighs are shaking and his eyes are rolled back at how hard your clenching around him milking him dry.

He whimpers and moans at the wonderful feeling. When both feelings are over he pulls out kisses you on your head and places you back in the passengers seat. He gets out the car and notices a man with his dog staring at him.

He doesn't acknowledge the man and just forgets about it. He walsk to the trunk and grabs ablanket for you. When he closes the trunk the man is still standing there staring at him.

"Got a problem man?" Brian asks. The man looks at him and shakes his head before responding.

"This is a public place man and I don't think you and your tramp of a girlfriend should be having sex here where other people are trying to enjoy the view."

"Ok man, one don't talk about my baby that way, and two, I don't exactly see anybody else here. So if you had a problem for however long you were standing there why didn't ya leave? Its a public place right? I could park here and have sex with my girl if I want, got it? And if you ever insult my girl again, I will hurt you." He says before walking back to his car.

He gets in and puts the blanket over you and drives off before the man can even say anything else.

He glances at your sleeping figure a couple of times before driving to take you home.

Taglist: ?

[devilish-blue]

eyeless jack and or hoodie somno ? or what it’s like dating them with a nsfw part 🙏🙏 we’re thirsting rn

Oh my God. This took so long for me to do mainly because i procrastinated, but whatever. Anyways! I absolutely loved this idea and just had to do it! So i hope you like it.

!!Headcannons!!

!!TW!!: Somnophilia, mentions of other various kinks, mentions of Mean! Jack, cunnilingus. Let me know if i missed any!!)

Brian/Hoodie:

Now, to start, there is a big difference in Brian and Hoodie. Brian is well, Brian. I like to think of him as a big southern teddy bear. While it might be unpopular, I don’t really care. Hoodie, on the other hand, is ruthless, and mean. He doesn’t really seem to care all that much. So how would dating them be?

Brian, like I said, is a big ol’ teddy bear when it comes to you. He adores you and loves to spoil you with bear hugs and smothering you in kisses. Not to mention, he bulks, so not only does he have muscle, he has a big build making him huge compared to you. Perfect for being choked by his bicep- I mean, who said that?

Moving on, we have Hoodie. Now Hoodie is a killer, a cold killer who doesn’t seem to care. Thankfully the only times you really see Hoodie is when he gets home from a mission and Brian hasn’t regained control yet. During these times he usually tries to stay away from you. Maybe it’s because Brian doesn’t want Hoodie to hurt you so he might still be the tiniest bit in control.

However, sometimes you can’t help but need to be near your boyfriend, so even when Hoodie was Hoodie you’d still come up to him and hug him, but he would just stand there or put his hands on your hips.

Onto hornier details, kinks. Brian might seem like a vanilla guy at first glance, but he’s most definitely not. Does he like Somno? Yes. At first, he hated the thought of taking advantage of you while you were sleeping, but when you said you were into it? He tried it the following night and he fell in LOVE with it. The sight of you shaking and whimpering in your sleep only to wake up with Brian’s thick cock in your hole? Hooked.

Of course there’s other kinks, choking, degrading, dirty talking, pet names, etc. But there is just a special place in his heart for Somno and knife play. But that’s for a different time. ;p

Does Hoodie like Somno? Is that even a question? Of course he does! He loves to get home from long missions and walk in your room and to find you sleeping. Because that means he can use your body and not have to hear you complain about how tired you are as he fucks you.

He also has other kinks, choking, impact play, knife play, blood play, even some BDSM, but it's not often that you screw Hoodie anyway so you’ll be healed by next time. ;p

Eyeless Jack:

Oh Anon, don’t I have a treat for you. Jack was a big, intimidating guy, he’s a demon after all. But he’s sweet. Most of the time. Most of the time he’s a big affection, and loving boyfriend, but other times, he’s the opposite. He’s cruel and distant. He even sometimes insults you, but you know he doesn’t really mean it. Right?

But after these little spurts of hate, he apologizes, gives you cuddles, hugs and kisses but if you go to bed angry? He doesn’t like that because he knows he made you mad, so he likes to give you a nice surprise.

He had always thought about fucking you while you were sleeping, but now he had a reason. So there he was under the blanket in between your legs licking your aching and dripping hole. He was happening you would wake up in a panicked and blissful mess and that’s exactly what you were. You woke up and you felt hot and a wet sensation on your lower half. You looked down in a panic but that panic was soon taken over by relief and then ecstasy as your body trembled and convulsed as you came. Who knew three tongues could feel so good?

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Like no one is watching

summary: a little stream rekindles feelings that had been lurking somewhere in between the lines. Or have they?

a/n *hits chest* guilty, guilty, guilty... yet I had to write this because I was about to go insane. Don't come for my head. Had never written for this man before. Enjoy. 🤍🫧

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It was supposed to be a chill night. Nothing big. Nothing special. All Vince wanted was to hang out with a couple of his old friends and mess around for a bit on stream. He needed to get his mind off the last couple of games that weren't his best. And it was just that—a good evening filled with goofy jokes—until Brian went quiet for a minute before saying, "Uuu, Y/N is coming over," and Vince's body nearly had an out-of-body experience. One that makes you fella as if, suddenly, you are standing a foot away from your body, and it almost feels like tunnel vision, but then it all snaps back into place. Yet Vince pulled the most neutral facial expression he could master before saying, "The one from the game?" making Brian simply hum in confirmation as he typed out a message to you.

The thing was, that it was stupid to even pretend that Vince didn't know you. Or that he only had seen you in one of his games as Brian's plus one. Well, besides being one of the NHL investor's daughter—a tag you shook off with a frown every time. You had made quite a name for yourself on your own. You had graduated from medical school with honors. And had opened a boutique in downtown Chicago... Not that Vince was keeping tabs or anything.

The truth was that he had never paid much attention to you at sports events or gatherings. Not that you were there often. But something about you standing there in the stands during his last game had messed with Vince's brain chemistry, and Vince just hadn't been the same ever since. He had, of course, asked Brian about your friendship and felt even more whiplashed when his friend casually shrugged while saying that you two had known each other for years. A friend of a friend. And since the energy was comparable, you had stayed in touch.

"Vince, keep the chat entertained while I let her in," Brian got up quickly, but not before stopping to address chat too, "Guys, your favorite person is here." Vince was once again left wondering how many times you two streamed together. And kicking himself for never really finding the time to watch his friends' lives. Laughter echoed from the hallway, and Vince had to mentally tell himself not to look back so he wouldn't come off too desperate. Paying extra attention to the sea of messages about how everyone was so excited to see you.

"Make some noise, make some noise," Brian shouted as he sprinted back, clapping his hands. He pulled the mic to his lips, "The one and only, Y/n Y/L/N." Your laughter filled the room, quickly followed by the clicking of your heels. "You are insane," you muttered, stepping through the door. A slight surprise washed over your face when your eyes fell on Vince, sitting in one of the chairs, but it was quickly masked by a warm smile. "Oh, hey, Vince," you muttered before leaning forward slightly to wave at the camera.

"Hey guys, long time no see. Please tell me that you've been making fun of Brian for me", you smirked, sticking your tongue out at him. "Changed my mind; I don't want you here," he huffed, playfully pulling at your hand. Vince blinked a couple of times. Finally realized that he had been staring at you the whole time, but then who could blame him? You had caught his eye back then with a messy bun, baggy jeans, and his team's jersey on. Now, with a black dress, heels, and full of glam. Lord was on his side, and he was sure glad that he had been sitting.

"Do I know Vince?" you read, your eyes darting to the awfully quiet hockey player to your right. "Yeah, we met. Was at his game, actually", you nodded slowly. "I should know all the rules by now, but..." Pulling a face, you shook your head. You avoided the games like a plague. Daddy's girl in the stadium. Those words alone made you want to run. You would rather fall face-first into dog shit. "We'll get you to more games, and you'll get it in no time," Vince's voice made your head snap back to him. The fucker dared to smirk too. Oh, but you knew his type. Heard all about it, and two could play this game. "Is that an offer?", you asked innocently. Vince only shrugged as he leaned back in his chair, "A fact." Your eyes stayed glued to each other. You hated how you could never get a read on him. How could a guy look both like the biggest mistake and like a gift from the Lord himself?

"They want to see your fit, Y/n," Brian's voice made you blink. Turning your attention back to the camera, you muttered, "Oh, wait," you backed up slightly. Trying to fit at least most of your body in a frame. "Do a twirl," Brian clapped his hands like a kid, making you shake your head. "Of fuck you, that's stupid," you muttered. "No cap, do a twirl," he motioned with his finger for you to do as he said. You rolled your eyes, but then you did feel cute today, so a little hype has never hurt anybody. "It's nothing," you said as you twirled a couple of times, "a black dress and these awful heels." You lifted one of your feet slightly, showing the sparkly, black heel.

"My turn!" Brian shouted, stepping up front as he went on a rant about what he was wearing. You stepped aside with a giggle. He was way too excited to do this, so alcohol had to be involved in this steam in some way. "Sponsorship event?", Vince said under his breath, clearly only trying to catch your attention. "You know it...", breathing out, you let out a sigh. People might call you ungrateful for this, but you hated attending anything that involved your father and his money. You were like a shiny toy for him. "Do you hate them?", he asked, catching a slight frown on your face. "Tell me about it," you said, laughing under your breath. "I ain't a fan as well," he added with a nod. "Oh, I know", you muttered, stepping aside from his chair.

"I will go for now; I need to get out of these before I start bleeding all over the floor," you chuckled, pointing to your feet once you found a minute of silence. You didn't want to just get up and walk out, so one way or another, you would have to find a little excuse to slip away. "Just get them off here," Brian muttered, not seeming to care as he scrolled through his playlist, looking for a new song to sing along to. "And flash the chat while doing so?", you rolled your eyes, "You wish for free content like that." You were about to wave your last goodbye when Vince cut in, "I'll get them." For a split second, you had hoped that you had misunderstood his intentions. So you just shook your head with a polite, "It's okay," but Vince scooted his chair closer. "No, no, I got it," he muttered, bending over.

A breath hitched in your throat as you felt his hands on your skin. "No, Vince," you muttered. But he just continued pulling at the strap; his warm fingers touching your cold ankle, sending shivers down your whole body. He fidgeted with it for a moment, but with an awkward angle, it sure wasn't an easy task. You were hoping that he was just going to give up, but his palm grasped your leg just slightly above your knee as he nudged it to a more comfortable angle for him. You nearly let out a shriek, but it turned into you biting your lip. Your hands pressed against his shoulder as you steadied yourself.

But God the feeling of relief once he finally pulled the scrappy shoes off. Near heavenly. Making your head fall back as you hummed in delight, "Remind me to boycott high heels from today," you muttered. Not to mention that you didn't miss the way Vince's hands lingered on your skin before he pulled back away from you. His gaze moves upwards to catch your eyes. And the urge to just take his face between your fingers and... Pull yourself together, Yn. You turned away quickly. Hoping to hide the slight blush on your cheeks. "It was nice seeing you guys", you waved your hand to the camera before quickly picking up your heels and padding out of the room.

Vince's heart was beating so hard against his chest. He was toying with a dangerous line. Girls like you were off-limits for a reason. The rules were pretty clear, too. It was bad enough that this was on the internet. One stupid move and his head would be drilled raw with people screaming at him. Nor did it help that your daddy dearest had spent some pretty coin on his team this year. Yet Vince was itching to get up and follow you. Little could be done with the cameras on, but outside this room, where no one could see you...

"Do you want another drink?" Vince said, causing Brian to shake his can, which, to Vince's luck, was indeed empty. "I'll get..." Brian had started, but Vince was already up and out of his chair. "I've got you, man," he said, tapping his friend's shoulder. He only had one shot at this. You can only get lucky so many times. But he didn't even need to go looking for you because the moment Vince rounded the corner to the kitchen, you were there. Leaning against the counter with your hands crossed over your chest.

"You're following me or something?", you muttered, tilting your head to the side. Vince tossed the empty cans out. "Or something," he muttered back. "Now you think you're funny?", you raised an eyebrow at him, pushing back from the corner to step closer to him. "What do you want, Dunn?", you asked, narrowing your eyes at him. A smirk tugged on his lips. That devilish one. One that turned him from an angel to a man of sins in seconds. "Back to the last name once again; you know I like it." His words were breathy and low as he reached up to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear, causing you to pull back.

"You look really good," Vince muttered, letting his eye fall down your body. Following your curves before your laughter filled the empty place. "Why are you laughing?" he asked, frowning slightly. Pinching the bridge of your nose, you shook your head, "You came here to tell me that I looked good?". This guy was something different. Yet your fingers reached up to his jaw, brushing over his jawbone. "You're adorable," you muttered. This time it was Vince who was pulling away, "I'm not adorable."

You bit your lip, trying to keep a serious face. Of course, he would get offended by a comment like that. "Yeah, I forgot that you're an angry puppy, my bad," you said with a firm nod of your head. Vince let out a huff, licking his lips as he stepped forward once more, towering over you. "Careful," he breathed out, leaning closer to your face. "Or what?", you urged him, not willing to back down. Your own hands moved to rest against his chest as you stepped on your toes. His warmth seeped into your palms. Vince's arms were pressed on either side of you. Caging you within his arms, "Or you might see a very different side of me." Your smirk matched his now as you bit your lip, tilting your head to the side. "Like..." you pushed on, wanting to see just how far he would let himself go.

"Not afraid that daddy will get mad?" The warm feeling in your stomach turned to ice. The smile faded from your lips as you reared back. "Oh, fuck you," you hissed, pulling at his arm to get away from him. You should have known better. "Y/n," Vince tried to grasp your arm, but you yanked it away quickly, "Forget it, Dunn." With a quick look around the kitchen, you grabbed your stuff and headed straight to the door, cursing yourself for willingly choosing to come here in the first place.

[cryptidcircuswrites]

Hello, Id like to request general HC can be as little detailed as you want with who do you think would be the best and worst person to make friendship bracelets for like who is straight up eating them beads. Joking it with the bracelet. Idk. Making bracelets and devastated you're not in bracelet throwing range ily/p -Marc

FRIENDSHIP BRACELET HEADCANONS

!- friendship bracelets with various characters, mentions of canon deaths

TIM WRIGHT

"Why the fuck would I wanna do that?"

Probably reminds him of the psych ward tbh

It was rare that he'd get to do arts and crafts but he always loved it

Uses as many colors as possible, the psych ward had none

Absolutely loves the bracelets too Wears his everywhere, forever. It's one of his most treasures possessions, not that he'd ever tell you. You only find out because he flips the FUCK out when he can't find it

JAY MERRICK

Makes the ugliest bracelet you've ever seen. Can't tie a knot to save his life. Gets sad if you don't wear the one he made for you, though, so you're stuck with it.

Despite being godawful, he's so excited to be doing something with you

He just wants to hang out all the time, forever (quality time love language gang unite)

The bracelet breaks at some point during season 2, but he keeps the beads in his pocket until his death.

BRIAN THOMAS

"Yeah, sure, sounds fun!"

He's not super into it, but you're his friend, you asked, so he feels kind of obligated.

His bracelets are decently pretty. Nothing too special, not Jay's disaster either.

Wears it for a couple weeks before tossing it in a drawer. You're friends, yeah, but he just doesn't get the whole bracelet thing.

ALEX KRALIE

Says no.

If you ask him again, you have to ask six times before he says yes.

SUPER particular about bead choice.

(Charm and color association, it's a super personal thing but you can't waterboard that out of him)

Pretends not to wear it but it's under his sleeves almost all the time

This man loses his glasses before he takes off his bracelet.

Towards the end, when he's sometimes lucid, he'll stare at the bracelet and try to remember your face.

TICCI TOBY

Twitches right as he's finishing his bracelet, ruining his progress and scattering the beads everywhere.

Gets pissed and leaves the table. You give him the one you made for him, but he opts for giving you jewelry he stole found instead

He wears the bracelet until he has a breakdown and tears it off in a panic, losing it forever

Definitely chews on it

JEFF THE KILLER

Will not make them with you, quite literally doesn't have the patience for it.

If you GIVE him one though, he will cry

He loves small gifts so much

Mans is permanently emotionally stunted, which means extreme reactions to EVERYTHING, not just the constant rage Probably personifies the bracelet.

Definitely talks to it on missions like it can somehow send a message to you.

EYELESS JACK

Eats the beads.

He likes the crunch and is too autistic to not have some kind of stim about them.

Threading the beads is difficult with the claws, so he ends up making you a shaker jar with baby oil and water

He's very particular about the colors, but not shape or texture since it's in a jar and also he can't see the shape very well, but you can both see colors and he wants you to feel as happy about the beads as he does (again, autism)

He wears the one you gave him until it eventually gets lost on an assignment

[scary-lasagna]

hello! happy valentines day! can i request yan proxies or maybe ej on valentines day? would they do anything special? <33

All besides Toby, they wouldn't let their s/o know.

It wouldn't be fair for Tim and Brian to have only one special day out of the year to pour their love into their s/o when it should be every day of their lives. And for Jack...he just doesn't care much for human holidays.

Yan!Toby

"Ohhh my loovvee!~"

Although muffled, you could still barely make out the words approaching you.

The room spun, and your stomach felt like it was eating itself and daring to lurch from your throat simultaneously.

Your skull pounded, and there was no way you could even attempt to lift a finger with how weak you felt.

"Aw, I'm sorry you're not feeling good, my sweet." Toby cooed. "I know sometimes rules can be unfair, but I thought I could give some leniency since today's a super special day for us!"

He gently turned your head, placing a straw past your lips.

"You can have all the water you want today! Just not too much, or you might get sick."

You clung to that straw like a lifeline, after so many days of dehydration, you weren't sure if you'd make it through today before this.

"It's Valentines day, so I managed to snag you some chocolate too."

You haven't had chocolate since you've been chained down here, and god knows how long that's been. You're long past making scratch marks along the carpet molding of the empty room.

You're long past hope, but maybe if some more holidays come around, you'll gather up the strength to stand again.

[creepy-friday]

Just came across your blog and I ended up binge-reading everything! I'm in love with the way you write the characters, specially the Proxies. And the female Proxy is definetly my favourite👌.

How it would be if, instead of being Slender's trusted minion and already a experienced Proxy, she was a newbie and fresh meat? Kinda like Cody, younger and dragged there with little to no choice because the Operator saw potential in them. Would the dynamics change, since she doesn't have a high rank to rely on?

Maybe Brian is appointed as her mentor and he gets advantage of her inexperience by corrupting her?

I'M VERY GLAD YOU ENJOY MY BLOG💖

Creepypasta Proxies x Newbie!Female Proxy

The overbearing silence after the buzzing static faded away was bringing in a new damned life.It's been a month since you were bought here,locked in your room until The Operator decided it was enough for you to settle in

It was time for you to meet again with the masked men that dragged you here-the same killers that were supposed to be your team, "allies" even

Every resident was looking down on you,even EJ that pitied you and looked at you with mercy behind his blue mask.The first time you had to pay a visit to his clinic he even asked if you are scared because deep down,his instinct made him to enjoy it

The harassing is real,but this time it's more dangerous.Remember,you're a helpless outsider in a place full of rapists,killers and awful fantasies.Walking down dark hallways is always in a hurry,same as eating and showering.

Since Brian was assigned to your ass,you're almost totally saved and worry free next to him,but he's also a piece of shit

He sees your potential,after all, if The Operator views you as valuable-then you're most certainly priceless.

He's a gentle guy,takes his sweet sweet time to teach you everything you need to know.

Sure,he respects you,but during training sessions he will do everything in his power to get you under him,sort of helpless.

"See,it's not that hard" he breathed out as he guided your hands on the right places "if you ever happen to find yourself in this position you know what to do now,right?" he smiled in a gentle manner,slowly standing up from above you,taking you by your hand with him."Do you want to reverse the roles?"

He will defend your name even if you are in the wrong during proxy meetings.He will keep on bringing up how fucked up all of them felt when they arrived there,and this point always works.(more or less for Masky)He knows how to pull the strings when he wants to

You already know the drill,Masky is a menace to work with,especially with newbies.Don't get me wrong,he doesn't expect you to be fully prepared to know shit,he enjoys having you dumb,but he will always make you feel like shit,he will try his best to bring a pained expression to your face because it makes him feel better and he's bored of Toby

Definitely uses you as a vent chat,no restrictions for him,from inventing some fucked up story to telling you about his miserable life from before the mansion and during the present since he doesn't expect you to stay

The only time he stops is when his friend gives him the sign.It's crazy,but he respects Brian more than he cares about breaking some of your lovely bones

Toby was more than glad to know another woman "joined in",especially since you're new and vulnerable,he now has the chance to look out for someone and to be needed

Altough Toby was the most unusual individual,Cody was the one to give you the creeps most of the times.And he does it on purpose

Since he's no longer the fresh meat everyone looks down to,he feels superior that now he has you around

He wouldn't bully you or make you feel bad on purpose, but he will definitely baby you around A LOT

Kate is complicated.She doesn't talk,she doesn't look at you,she doesn't make any effort to teach nor to train you.She looks down on you,and the only time she will open her mouth is to either tell you to stop what you're doing or to answer any of your questions with a phrase so vague it will make you have even more questions

Time is precious,so don't waste it.Every hour can be spent becoming stronger,but also every hour goes by terribly slow when around every fucking corner someone is gawking their eyes at you

[marivoid]

This one shall do well against the Survivor. Wouldn't you agree?

No, I would not. Is it wise to allow a fight between them? Our Survivor does not stand a chance. I wouldn't want to lose him so soon.

Oh he will be fine, One. He has lasted this long.

But against the likes of a warrior such as her?

He will do fine.

What about that crow? It is a constant warning for the Survivor. She would not be able to land a hit.

No. But I do not believe that crow will be allowed in the Game.

How do you know? That insufferable Gamemaster and Wishmaker-

-Do not listen to a word we say. Yes. I know. They're ungrateful for the lives we gave them, but what can we do? They twisted our own words against us.

There has to be a way, Two. Our Survivor needs to win. How else would we get him back to his Test Zone?

That is where our special project comes in. G1 may have escaped our facility... But T2 is not a failure. It was a brilliant move to grab it whenever it was much younger. More... How would you phrase it, One?

Compliant. Willing to believe everything we said. Now its mind is getting curious. If it gets too curious and suddenly gets access to that doomed world... How would you know it would even encounter our Survivor? Or even return?

We make it believe it will die. Simple. Those trackers are very hard to remove after all. Send periodic shocks to T2, each one stronger than the last. Whispers of doubt and a few Reteachings should do the trick.

That is what you said about G1. But that was a failure. It grew a backbone and escaped halfway through our tests!

Please remain calm, One. Believe me when I say this one will go swimmingly.

I hardly trust that anymore, Two.

Ohhh how you hurt me! Now, go get T2's plans ready. I shall see what we can do about the Warrior. She will be participating in those Games at the end of this month. When we are three days away, send T2 to our Survivor. His chip may be weak, but I should be able to locate it. Maybe even have T2 recharge it!

That... Would be a great opportunity to recharge his tracker. Wouldn't it?

It would! It would! You are starting to see the bigger picture One!

I suppose I am. Maybe you still have a conscious left.

Oh I have a conscious! But I cannot promise that I am sane!

"Why do I suddenly have a bad feeling?" A warrior would ask a demon.

"It's probably just nervousness before MCC! You'll do fine!" The demon would assure the warrior.

"Brian if you don't stop PECKING MY NECK-"

"... Hello?"

[daresplaining]

Matt: "No, no." Milla: "I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable. But I-- I just couldn't think of any way to approach you other than this." Matt: "It's just that you are mistaken about my being Daredevil. That story just isn't--" Milla: "I can't stop thinking about what happened the other day. When you saved me from that truck-- it really... I mean, I know you are in situations like that...every day...but I am not. Nothing like that has ever--" Daredevil vol. 2 #43 by Brian Michael Bendis, Alex Maleev, Matt Hollingsworth, and Cory Petit

Matt: "Ironically, I'm not Daredevil." Kirsten: "Remarkably, you have a very slippery grasp of the truth for a l-a-w-y-e-r." Matt: "You really think I'm Daredevil." Kirsten: "I really know you're Daredevil. My nephew knows it, and he still believes in Santa. Let's get to why I'm here." Daredevil vol. 3 #1 by Mark Waid, Paolo Rivera, Javier Rodriguez, Joe Rivera, and Joe Caramagna

In any given superhero story where secret identities are a thing, it is always going to be a key factor in the relationship dynamic that the hero has with the other people in their life. For Matt Murdock, who experiences secret identity drama on scales previously unmeasured by science, that secret, and who knows it and who doesn't, quite often has the power to change everything. Whenever someone new enters his life, the arc of their relationship is frequently shaped by when, and how, they find out. Usually, it doesn't go well. In most cases, the big reveal is a shock to the status quo, a hurdle to overcome. Look at what happened when Maya first found out. Or Foggy. Or jeez, Heather.

But Milla and Kirsten exist in a special category all their own: they come into Matt's world already knowing--and not only that, but knowing with such conviction, and with so little interest in having the conversation at all, that even when Matt tries to uphold the lie, they just...ignore him. For Milla, Matt being Daredevil (and not only that, but being Daredevil and blind) is the key reason for her interest. She is thrilled by him. She thinks he's great, he saved her life, and she wants to ask him (him, Daredevil) out on a date. And Matt's first encounter with Kirsten, in the scene above, is due to his Daredevil identity leaking into his professional life: she comes from the D.A.'s office to advise him (him, Daredevil) that he might want to dial back his court appearances, because the fact that he's a suspected superhero is creating disruptions. Later, as their relationship turns romantic, Matt's increasingly halfhearted attempts to convince Kirsten that he's not Daredevil even get integrated into their flirtation.

Matt's Daredevil identity is all tied up in power and agency. It is a form of empowerment that he chose for himself following his father's murder, and one way he exerts and maintains control in his chaotic life is through having a say in who does or does not know his secrets. As Matt says in his perpetually-quotable conversation with Foggy at the end of Daredevil volume 3 #22: "I enjoyed having a big secret. When people make you feel like you're weak and helpless, it's empowering know something they don't", and the times when Matt has lost control of that secret have been nightmare ordeals for him. At the same time, history has shown how dangerous that secret can be to the people around him, especially those who haven't been given the full story about someone they are allowing into their orbit. And that's not to mention the toll on Matt; while secrets are empowering, they are also constraining, and since all the way back in the sixties he has resented his deep-seated need to split his identity into neatly-delineated boxes. Daredevil volume 4 allowed Matt a chance to experience true identity freedom, and he enthusiastically embraced it. In an ideal world, in a world where he didn't feel that need to control and safeguard the closest parts of himself, would he tell all of his friends, all of his prospective partners, anyone he wanted, that he was Daredevil right off the bat? Would it be a relief to avoid that moment of later shock and conflict he invites by keeping such a huge secret ticking like a time bomb? Maybe. (I might point toward his first interactions with Elektra as some evidence for the answer being "yes", at least in certain contexts).

Either way, it's compelling to have Milla and Kirsten as two examples of relationships in which the specter of secret identity angst does not even begin to exist; where the big secret is out on the table right from the start, whether Matt wants it to be or not. When he meets Milla, the circumstances are dire; his secret identity is in a huge amount of danger and he is extra paranoid about it. When Kirsten shows up, the situation is far more relaxed. But in both cases, it is a shift in the typical superhero/civilian power dynamic: Matt holds none of the cards and has to cope with losing that sense of control that's so important to him. At the same time, the guy is a daredevil. He likes being a little bit out-of-control. And it's neat to see him in this kind of a situation, where both sides know the score right from the beginning, and they are able to move forward without the burden of secret identity drama looming somewhere on the horizon.

[brian-kinney-apologist]

random qaf thought i wanted to share

brian kinney was always a very special character for me personally and one particular thing about his writing still feels very dear to me to this day. brian was an openly gay man who always knew who he was, he didn't feel shame about his sexuality, and basically was living his best life as an out and proud queer man (no excuses, no apologies, no regrets etc etc). AND YET he wasn't out to his parents. it was never his intention to come out to them because he knew the exact reaction they would have. brian wasn't scared of their reaction though, he never needed their approval or waited for them to understand him (at least when we meet him in the show (young!brian is a a topic for another discussion though)). brian knew that his coming out would only resolve in useless drama. he didn't owe his parents anything just because they were related by blood. they didn't deserve to have an explanation or to know his truth. that's the point that the show makes with his character: you don't owe people your coming out. (yes, brian did come out to his parents at some point but with his mother it was purely coincidental and imo he wouldn't have came out to his father if debbie hadn't pressured him into doing so)

usually in tv/films we only see closeted queer people (usually teenagers) whos whole story revolves around them being ashamed of their sexuality, being scared about other people finding out their secret, and they also often behave like bullies themselves (chris hobbs moment). they also often outed by someone/forced to come out and end up having to deal with the consequences of them being gay. and yes, storylines like this have a right to exist and there're probably enough people who resonate with these types of stories. but there're other life scenarios too. and brian imo is a great example for people who had/still have to survive in our homophobic world but who know exactly who they are, who don't really struggle with their identity and who are at peace with their sexuality. off the top of my head i can name a number of characters that fit the first description but brian kinney is the only one who fits the second one. (maybe you know other characters with the same attitude but I doubt that anyone has ever openly said the actual words on tv/in films. brian was the blueprint for sure)

to be honest, it was a revelation for a 16 year old me when I first watched the show that you may be confident, out and proud and at the same time you not explaining your sexuality (or gender identity) to random (or not so random) people (proving to cishet people that you are a normal queer™️ OR on the contrary visibly queer enough) doesn't make you any less valid or a liar or a coward. brian being allowed to chose who to share his identity with not out of fear or shame but out of his own free will was and still a very important message to send to queer people everywhere. so many things that were illustrated through brian's character were so true and were ahead of their time imo. there is no one yet to match his level of queer wisdom on tv (and i doubt ther ever will)

I hope this makes sense because idk how to put it more eloquently. I've been thinking about all of this for some time now and wanted to put it somewhere so here you go

[riaaanna]

Reprint of John Harris' article from Music Life special edition August 1977. 📸 scans-ish by me. Translation by deathtoming. No repost pls.

For @justlike-awoman ❤

An exclusive first-hand account from Queen’s exclusive engineer

Current exclusive engineer and former chief road manager John Harris has been friends since before the group was formed. The true nature of the four members, as only he would know.

They haven’t changed since the old days… - John Harris, Queen’s exclusive engineer

I was classmates with Brian In the middle of the audience’s cheers shouting for an encore, and their thunderous applause, I found myself absentmindedly thinking back to when I first met the four members of Queen, Freddie, Roger, Brian, and John. Their debut in Japan last year, among feelings of hope and uncertainty. And they set foot in Japan again this year, not having changed one bit since I first met them. Well, aside from the fact that they became “stars”...

Five or six years ago, I was a student studying at Imperial College. I wasn’t a very serious student, but still I studied as one would, and socialized as one would, and greatly enjoyed my student lifestyle. Through that university lifestyle, I met a certain guy, formed a friendship with him that continues to this day, and was able to make the conditions for me to do this job that I have now.

That guy was, unlike me, a very serious student. He was bright on top of being serious, so naturally he had better grades than guys like me, and was always outstanding, and while we were unlike each other, we got along a fair bit, and spent time together outside of school, too. During this time, I learned that this guy that I thought was strictly serious was actually crazy about rock music. Now that I’ve written this much, this “guy,” who is tall and a friend with the top grades, has surely been recognized as Brian May by fans.

I’ve known the members of Queen since they first formed, so from the very beginning, in other words. Although I’m working exclusively for them as an engineer, it’s not that I always wanted to be an engineer. I met Freddie, Brian, and Roger, and when they first formed Queen, it all started when I helped them transport amps, instruments, and other gear.

Queen was a collection of poor students back then. Still, Freddie graduated from art school, and Roger got a degree in science. Brian also earned a degree, and apparently was going to keep going towards a PhD, but after putting a lot of thought into whether he should continue with Queen or keep studying, he made the decision to be a musician.

It’s not like there were jobs lined up everywhere they looked after they graduated. Life had to be difficult for this group of unsuccessful musicians. The story of Freddie and Roger working at a boutique in Kensington Market is now well-known.

The four of them have not changed at all It wasn’t easy to continue working little by little on their music careers while working part-time. No matter where they went, they had to carry their instruments, amps, and gear on their own. I was with them, and at that time I had a plain, small, light van. I started to become responsible for loading amps and guitars into this van and taking them to wherever they were playing. When I look back at it now, this was the first step in eventually working as an engineer for Queen.

Needing a bass player, John joined Queen about two years after the group was formed. The circumstances surrounding that have been covered already by numerous magazines and newspapers, so I won’t go into details.

I got to know Brian first, then Freddie and Roger, and then finally John, and I still remember well how I met each of them for the first time. I often get asked by lots of people whether the members have changed over the years. Most of the people who ask me that are guessing that their simplicity from before is no longer there. However, as far as I can tell, Freddie, Roger, Brian, and John have not changed at all. Queen have become so successful, and they’ve become stars, but their personalities are the same as when I first met them.

I wonder if they never thought of themselves as stars? They haven’t changed in the 5-6 years I’ve known them, to the point where sometimes I almost forget that they’re members of the famous Queen. That’s why when I see them being followed around by young girls at train stations, hotels, and around town on this Japanese tour, I get a little surprised. These kinds of scenes seem more common than when they first came to Japan. All of the members apparently wanted to talk to the fans, but it’s impossible with this many people.

An unforgettable memory I reprised my role as engineer on this Japanese tour. However, I only work as an engineer mostly on tour. I’m also with them in the studio when they’re recording an album, but they hire other people as studio engineers. When the four of them enter the studio, they become very serious. And they complete their work after much painstaking work, and fans end up with an album.

I like Queen as friends, of course, but I also like them as musicians. I often listen to their albums when I’m at home. My favourites are Queen II and A Night at the Opera. Right, there’s I’m in Love with My Car. Roger wrote this song for me, and both Roger and I are very much into cars. The two of us have gone to see car races, and sometimes we even race cars ourselves. However, maybe Roger’s many fans wouldn’t approve of such dangerous activities.

On top of being an engineer for their live shows, sometimes they ask me for my opinion about various things. For example, what song was the most well-received that day, or the set up of the stage. During a concert, the lights are so bright that they can’t see behind the stage. Me, I always set up the equipment behind the stage, and have a seat. That’s why it’s immediately clear which songs are well-received and what kinds of reactions the audience has. When a concert goes well on a particular day, the four of them listen attentively to my advice. But if they’re ever in a bad mood, there can be trouble. It’s better not to say anything when that happens. The four of them become extremely high-strung before and after concerts.

What that means is, that’s how serious they are when it comes to their music. They’re always thinking about the progress and growth of the Queen sound. Their day-to-day lifestyles can also be seen as different from those of the typical guys in rock groups. There aren’t too many occasions of them getting drunk and wild. Roger probably drinks the most out of the four of them. But still, it’s not that Roger is a heavy drinker. On top of that, the four of them never drink before a show. That’s how much they focus on their act.

That’s how much nervous energy they use on stage, and when they go on tour, they spend a long time travelling from one place to another, and the daily round trips from hotels to airports continue. I grew tired of this lifestyle several times. There’s no doubt that the members felt this way as well. However, there’s a sense of happiness you get from living in this harsh world that you couldn’t get elsewhere. I still remember it well. The day I first heard a Queen record on the radio…. That was Seven Seas of Rhye, Queen’s first hit single in the UK. We were all slapping each other’s shoulders and jumping around, raising a ruckus.

Also, the day Queen first appeared on the popular TV show Top of the Pops was also memorable. The day Queen first played in Japan last year, too…. On the first day at the Budokan, there were over 10 000 audience members. Up until then, they had only performed to audiences of at most 4,000 people in the UK, and now they were performing in Tokyo to 10,000 people. The excitement and emotions felt were unforgettable.

Four distinct personalities I don’t know how long I’ll be working with Queen. I might get tired of touring as I get older, and I might become a studio engineer at that point. However, as long as Queen exists, I’ll likely be by their side. That’s how much of a good friend they are to me, and how appealing they are as musicians.

Lastly, I’d like to write about each of their personalities from the point of view of their friend. First of all, John, the youngest member, as you’re aware. He’s extremely wise, and he also understands well the essence of business. He doesn’t talk very much in interviews, but if he has a little bit to drink, he becomes a cheerful jokester, that John.

Next is Roger, a truly easy-going guy. He doesn’t fret and think too deeply about things, and doesn’t get seriously concerned about life. His philosophy seems to be that life is there to be enjoyed, and every day he thinks about how to go about enjoying life. Roger is also the type to go drinking and merrymaking on occasion.

Brian is the opposite of Roger. His personality is the kind that seriously frets and worries about everything. However, when it’s about the world in general, he doesn’t care very much. What he’s interested in is the theory behind the music.

Freddie is slightly impatient, and can be generous. He’s the kind of person who would buy a gift for anyone right away, and spends a lot of money on that. He’s up-and-down with his mood, and when he’s in a good mood, Freddie is truly kind, but if something he doesn’t like happens on stage, or if there’s a problem with the music, he gets angry like a roaring fire. He’s a perfectionist that is hard on himself, just as he is hard on others.

I like my current job, and I really like the four members of Queen as people. It’s true that they have become “stars.” Still, the fact that they will be life-long friends hasn’t changed.

[From the (Music Life) special issue of August 1977]

[taylormarieee]

Ride or Die, baby Brian O'Conner

Summary: Brian was your ride or die, always...

Pairing: Brian O'Conner x Fem!black!Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: PiV sex, Riding, cowgirl, Brian being a tease(as per usual), reader being shy, slight angst, Jealous Brian, Jealous reader

A/N: This is dedicated to @dollyfl1rt my love. I hope you like your surprise!

Brian and you were inseparable. He was your ride or die. He was your everything.

It kinda hurt when he started to get more closer with Suki then you. You usually weren't the jealous type when it came to Brian and women, he was a literal chick magnet. Plus Suki wasn't a bad person at all, she was a really good friend of yours.

But when they started hanging out and having nicknames for each other, it kinda hurt because it became as if you didn't exist.

You eventually started hanging out with Roman more and really liked the dude. You hung out with him almost as much as you use to hang with Brian.

You two always rode together, went out to eat together, and sometimes just took walks and talked about the past together.

Everything you did with Roman was what you used to do with Brian, and you felt bad. You weren't trying to hurt Brian, you just wanted his attention, and you felt that if you went up to him to express your feelings, they would come out sounding jealous or selfish.

You eventually started to kinda avoid Brian because you felt bad but was scared to get confronted.

Eventually Brian and you started to text again and he began to ask you why you were avoiding him...

{ Texts from last week... From both points of view...

Bri🎀- Why you avoiding me baby?

My baby🌺- I'm not avoiding you Brian, why do you think that?

Bri🎀- well for one, you never text my full name unless your mad

Bri🎀- and two, you haven't talked to me for the last two weeks baby, what's wrong?

My baby🌺 -Bri, I just... I feel a little jealous of Suki, like i'm not mad at her, or you!

My baby🌺 -I just feel like you're distancing yourself from me... so I'm doing things with Rome more.

My baby🌺 -I didn't wanna say anything because I felt like I would sound selfish... I just miss you

Bri🎀- Awww baby, I'm sorry... It's nothing I promise, I didn't even notice I was making you feel that way.

Bri🎀- I'll make it up to you. Next week I'll come by the garage, ok? Spend some time with my favourite girl, yeah?

My baby🌺- Ok! See you Bri, I luv you!

Bri🎀 - I love you too my sweet girl.}

Today's the day where Brian is coming to hang or talk with you. You see his car pull up and immediately smile. You notice Roman is with him so you walk up to greet them both.

"Hey Roman! Hey Brian!" You say as you walk up to them. You were currently working at the car wash where Tej usually is. You were wearing a green bikini top with matching bottoms but had a sarong wrapped around your waist.

Your toned skin glistening in the miami heat as you have slight water droplets coating your chest and legs.

"Hey girl. Wassup? How ya doin?" Roman asks. He smiles at you and gives you a side hug. "I'm surviving I guess." You respond with a chuckle, "Trying to get through the torture Tej is putting me through." You say smiling while using your hand to shield the sun from your eyes.

"Hey baby, you doin' ok?" Brian asks, finally speaking up. His tone sounded annoyed with the whole altercation between you two but his face showed to be soft and sincere, loving almost as he admires your body.

"I'm ok Bri, how are you? How's ya car?" You ask smiling at him. He smiles back at you noticing it's a different smile then the one you gave Roman, he loves when you have a special smile for him and him only.

"My car's ok. Lookin nice and pretty." He says smiling, "How's your baby?" He asks motioning to your car in the parking lot.

"Oh she's doing good. Lookin nice and pretty." You say smiling as you repeat what he just said.

He laughs and so do you. You both were so engulfed in your conversation you both didn't even notice Roman was long gone.

"You look good." He says, eyes glazing over your body. Your face heats up more than it already has and you smile.

"Thanks, don't look bad yourself." You say letting out a slight giggle. You always giggled when you were nervous and Brian picked up on the habit a couple months ago.

"Why you nervous baby? Hmm? I make you nervous?" He asks leaning in closer to you as your back is now flush with your car. He whispers in your ear.

"You don't make me nervous Bri... I'm just hot." You say wiping sweat of your forehead.

"Well I know your hot, I mean who wouldn't think your hot but I know when you giggle like that, your nervous. I know you like I know my car." He says, his blue irises staring you down intently.

His blonde curls framing his face, god how badly you wanted to tug on them.

Before your able to say anything back, Roman's voice brings you both out of your intense staring and breathing. The tension between you two finally cut.

"Yo Brian! Let's go. I'm hungry!" He says walking to the car. Brian glances at Roman before looking back at you again.

"Meet me at my place tonight at 8:30 got it?" He says smirking at you before walking away, he didn't need to get your answer because he already knew what it was.

He winks at you as he enters his car and drives off with Roman. You wave bye and Roman and Brian wave back.

-TIMEJUMP-

It was now approximately 8:23 pm and you were arriving at Brian's place now. You knock on the door and wait a couple seconds before Brian finally comes into view with just a towel on.

You quickly cover up your eyes, "Woah bri! Cover yourself you little slut!" You say chuckling and giggling nervously again.

Brian doesn't say anything he just stands there. You assume he's gone so you remove your hand from your face only to be met with brian so close to your face.

You met with his chest at first considering Brian is 6'2, and when you look up you see Brian staring you down with a smirk on his face.

"I'm only a slut for you." He says with the biggest smirk on his face. You both stare at each other for a couple of seconds before you both are bursting out laughing.

He caresses your cheek before grabbing your hand and guiding you in his home. He stares at you once he closes the door and pushes you against the wall.

"Your mine baby, all mine." He whispers against your neck as his hands roam all over your body.

You whimper at his touch enjoying the familiar feeling that has now turned intimate.

"Brian..." You breathe out. He hums in your ear and you tug on his curls. It isn't until your hands touch his chest that you realize he's completely naked besides the towel around his waist.

"Brian... I think we should- fuck- I think we should slow down..." You moan out trying to gain your composure but Brians hands are already undoing your skirt zipper in the back and lifting up your t-shirt.

"You've been a tease all week. Making me all sad whenever you're with Rome. Always laughing with him, being with him. I gotta say baby, you've made me jealous."

You roll your eyes and chuckle, "Your one to talk Brian, all that hanging with suki has made me jealous and I told you this."

He is now the one to chuckle as he nips at your neck and his hands roam over your clothed pussy. Your hips jolt forward as he runs his finger up and down your slit.

Your soaking through you panties and he feels every bit of it. "You know I don't like Suki though." He starts.

"And you also know that Suki and Tej are dating, you just wanted some attention because your horny and can't do anything about it." He says as he picks you up, your legs instantly wrapping around his waist.

"T-That was not the reason Brian!" You say tugging on his hair harder eliciting a moan from Brian's lips.

"See how your- fuck- see how your not denying the fact that you knew?" He says with that charming and mischievous smirk on his face that just displays "I told you so" energy.

"Your annoying you know that?" You retort.

"Yet, you want this dick badly don't you?" He asks with that shit eating grin on his face that you so badly wanted to slap off his face.

But the throbbing between your legs was getting in the way of that feeling and you suddenly find yourself shaking your head yes at his question.

That makes him smile as he carries you to his bed. Your left in your bra and underwear and Brian is left with nothing on. You feel the pre-cum leaking from his warm, sticky tip.

You moan out at the feeling of his tip poking at your entrance. "Yea you like that mama?"

"You know your my ride or die right Brian?" You whimper out, feeling his hands caress your thighs.

"Well I'm mean your gonna ride me till I die anyway so..." He says and you playfully slap his arm and laugh a bit. He always knew how to turn everything into a joke.

"Yea my love, I know. Ride or die always." He says as he lines his tip to your entrance. You flip him over with all your strength and sink down onto him as you land on him.

"Oh fu-fuck Brian!" You say as he fills you up nicely. You feel the delicious stretch his cock gives you and you begin to slowly rock back and forth on him.

He groans and you feel dizzy already. That was the effect Brian had on you. Constantly making you feel dizzy and nervous.

But right now your on top and you feel dominant but baby trust me, he's the one in control of everything. Your hips movements, him slowly thrusting up into you, everything.

He tugs on your bra and panties. He has to keep pulling them to the side as he holds your hands behind your back as he thrusts up into you.

Your crying out his name at this point feeling tears in the rim of your eyes. Your body glowing in the moonlight from the small window he has in his room.

He can't believe that your finally his to take, his to finally fuck every time he wins a race or loses a race. He just wanted you all to himself.

You felt comfort in knowing you were his as he was yours. No lady could ever touch him unless it was Suki and you of course.

You loved how possessive he was of you and boy when he finally brought you to your orgasm and he came inside you and held you tight as your hips weakly tried to help you through your high and his, you knew that he was the one forever.

Brian O'Conner, your ride or die till the end of time. Always.

Taglist: @dollyfl1rt @dustbunniess

[i-am-baechu]

♡ Summary: Kim Seokjin is a popular cardiologist at Map of Seoul Hospital. Everyone looks up to him, especially a rookie named L/N Y/N. 

♡ Pairing: Doctor! Seokjin! x Rookie Nurse! Y/N

♡ Rating: Explicit (18+) 

♡ Genre: Doctor Jin!, Nurse reader, Jin is a little turd, Y/N is cheerful and outgoing, love at first sight, fluff, romance, comedy, angst, and smut 

♡ Warnings: Medical stuff and sex scene 

♡ Author's Note: Inspired by a Japanese drama I watched! I think this my new fav fic lol

♡ Playlist - I love official hige dandism

“The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance” -Brian Tracy 

I was eighteen when everything made sense for me. 

I was on a school trip and I was going around town with my friends. The spring just hit the city and the petals fell from the trees onto the busy streets. Writing in my notebook about the different sights was hard to do because there was no surface to write neatly. How was my teacher expecting nice work? I just tried my best to write it as neatly as I could. 

I saw a little shop that was selling little charms and I couldn’t stop myself. There was a cute cat that was holding a heart, they were all cute but one caught her eye. It was a hamster holding a heart that said LUCK in bold letters. She gently picked it up and the shopkeep smiled at me, “Interested?” 

“Yes...how much?”

The older lady shook her head and took the charm, “No worries. It’s free for you.”

I was confused and tilted my head at her, “Free? Why-”

“It can give you luck in the future with your job, education, and more importantly love.”

“Love?” 

The lady nodded her head and handed me a special red velvet bag with gold symbols, “Good luck.”

I waved goodbye to her and walked away with a little smile on my face. Love. I have always wanted love ever since my mom told me about her love story with my dad. It just sounded so perfect and beautiful. Who wouldn’t want to fall in love with their soulmate? 

It was an empty street and it was pretty with the flowers covering the park cars. I put my hair in a low ponytail and continued to walk to the next place that was on the paper. I saw a light pink tissue on the street and I looked up to see an older woman with her bike. I picked up the tissue and ran towards her, “Excuse me, you dropped this.”

All of a sudden, she fell to the floor. I took off my sweater and placed it under her head. I looked around me and I saw an EpiPen. I picked it up and looked at her face to see it was swollen alongside her arm. She stared at the EpiPen and started to panic. She had never used an EpiPen, she’s only ever seen one on TV.

“Help!! Someone, help!!” 

“What’s happening!?”

She looked up and saw an older man making his way to her. His eyes were kind and his smile made her feel okay. He kneeled next to her and pushed some hair behind the older lady, “It’s going to be okay. Seokjin! I need your help!” 

She turned her head and her eyes widened when she saw a handsome man around her age. He glanced at her but didn’t say anything. She watched them help the lady but her eyes never left “Seokjin”. He was so handsome and he knew what he was doing. The older man turned to her and gave her a soft smile, “Call an ambulance okay. She’s going to be okay thanks to you.”

“Okay.”

I watched the older lady getting rolled behind the ambulance and I stared with nervousness. Just then I felt a hand on the top of my head and she looked up to see “Seokjin'' smiling at me, “You did great.”

“Th-Thank you...my name is L/N Y/N.”

He ruffled my hair and started to walk to the ambulance but he looked back at me, “My name is Seokjin. We’ll take her to the Map of Seoul Hospital where I’m a resident, she’s going to be okay.” 

I nodded my head and watched him enter the ambulance with the older man. She continued to watch until the ambulance was out of her sight. I figured out what I wanted to do with my life and it was all thanks to Seokjin. I wanted to be a nurse to support Seokjin. 

Y/N stared at the hospital with a smile on her face, it was actually happening. She spent five years working on becoming a nurse. The amount of tests she took and all the studying paid off for this moment. Her grip around her bag strap tightened and she nodded her head, “Let’s go..” 

“Y/N!” 

She turned around and she waved with excitement, “Kook!! Tae!!”

Jeon Jungkook and Kim Taehyung ran towards her with smiles on their faces. Jungkook and Taehyung are her closest friends from nursing school. They were her rock when things got hard and they supported her like how real brothers would. Jungkook and Taehyung were going to be a pediatric nurse while Y/N was going to become a cardiovascular nurse. There were only two people who wanted to be cardiovascular nurses in their nursing program, Y/N and an acquaintance named; Park Aria. Park Aria is an amazing student and she was always on top of her classes while Y/N was in the middle. Aria belonged in the medical field and it was clear. 

“Are you ready?” 

Y/N nodded her head as the three walked through the hospital doors, “I’ll try my best. We got this, right!?” 

Jungkook nodded his head at her and looked at Taehyung, “I can’t wait to see the kids.”

Taehyung let out a small laugh and gently slapped Jungkook’s shoulder, “If you can handle blood.” 

“Don’t tease him, blood is scary.” 

Y/N went to change into her uniform and she stared at herself in the mirror. She wanted to cry but she already cried with her mom yesterday and she couldn’t ruin her uniform. She couldn’t let Seokjin see her tears. She smacked her cheeks gently and nodded her head, “Let’s do this.” 

She walked towards the cardiology station and saw Aria there. She bit her lip and closed her eyes tightly. She was always awkward with Aria not because she didn’t like her but because Aria was always serious. She didn’t want her to be uncomfortable with her. 

“Aria...good morning.” 

Aria turned towards her and gave a small smile, “Good morning, Nurse L/N.” 

Y/N’s face felt hot and she bowed her head, “So-Sorry, Nurse Park. Good morning, Nurse Park.”

Aria smiled at her and turned towards the staff. Y/N glanced at the staff and rushed to stand next to Aria. The staff smiled at them and bowed towards them, “Welcome to Cardiology. My name is Cho Chaewon and I’m the head nurse. I’m glad we have new faces.”

“I know the most here so any questions, ask me.”

Y/N turned her head to see a tan man with black glasses. He was chubby but it was like a teddy bear, he would give the best hugs, “My name is Min Minho.”

“My name is Lee Sonia.”

Aria bowed at the nurses and Y/N glanced at her. She bowed her head alongside Aria hoping she didn’t embarrass herself, “Thank you!” 

When she stood back up, there were footsteps that echoed through the room. She turned her head and she saw Seokjin reading a paper on his clipboard. Everything around her went silent and she saw Seokjin. She saw him with a spotlight and his smile that she remembered. She clenched her chest gently as he left her sight. Minho glanced at her and smirked. He leaned towards Y/N, “Are you staring at the devil?” 

“Eh? Devil?” 

Sonia nodded her head with a frown, “He’s so handsome but he’s so ruthless.”

Y/N shook her head and glanced at Seokjin, “That can’t be...he was so nice to me that day.”

“WHAT!? Nice!?”

She jumped at the sudden yell and nodded her head at Minho, “Yeah...when I was eighteen I met him. He was kind to me.”

Minho shook his head with a chuckle, “Maybe you hit your head and assumed it was him being nice.” 

Chaewon sighed and shook her head, “Now, Y/N and Aria...You guys will be heading to a lecture by the head doctor. After that, just make your way back to us and we’ll discuss teams.” 

Going down the hallway felt surreal. Y/N overheard conversations that she read in her textbook, it was exciting. She continued to make her way but at the end of the hall, she saw Seokjin. He was talking to another doctor and she couldn’t help but smile. She made her way to him and watched the other doctor leave. This is my chance....

She stood in front of Seokjin and smiled at him, “Doctor Kim, I’m so excited to work with you. It’s nice to meet you again.” 

The look he was giving, she couldn’t understand and she tilted her head, “Who are you?” 

She blinked her eyes a couple of times and felt flustered, “I’m L/N Y/N...I met you five years ago and we helped save an older woman together....” 

He raised her eyebrow and he continued to stare at her, “I have things to do...rookie, keep to yourself. No one likes to hear unwanted memories.” 

Her mouth dropped and she stared at him with a shocked face, This can’t be the same person I fell in love with... “Huh?” 

“Talking about the past or other stuff is a waste.” 

She continued to stare at him with a shocked face and he looked back at her with an annoyed look, “Eh?”

“Get back to work, rookie.” 

He walked away from her and she continued to stare at the absent spot. That can’t be him...he stole his identity. There’s no way that can- 

“Y/N? Are you okay?”

She turned around and saw Jungkook looking at her with a concerned look. She pouted and shook her head, “I met an imposter.”

“What?”

“That can’t be Seokjin...The man I fell in love with. It’s the only logical reason.”

Jungkook nodded his head and let out a small laugh, “I’ll let you believe that.” 

┊ ➶ ｡˚ 　　°┊

“Nurse L/N and Nurse Park, let me introduce you to the doctors of this unit.” 

Y/N was still in a confused daze after her encounter with Seokjin. Even during the introduction in the main hall she wasn’t really listening. Five years later she wanted to meet him and have something blossom. Now the only thing that is blossoming is pure confusion and shock. Two feelings you don’t want to feel in a hospital. 

“This is Doctor Jung.” Y/N turned to see a handsome tan man that had a heart smile. He looks very kind or he could be an imposter... 

“This is the head doctor, Doctor Kim Hyeon, and his son Kim Seokjin.”

She quickly looked away when she saw those stern brown eyes, he looks like he hates me. After a minute, she looked back to see him staring at her still. She hated this feeling. She embarrassed herself in front of him and now she has to work with him. It was a headache but she wasn’t going to give up. She wouldn’t give up on him. 

“Y/N-”

“Yes.”

Chaewon raised her eyebrow and let out a small laugh, “You don’t even know what I’m going to ask you.”

Y/N softly said sorry and bowed her head at the older woman. Embarrass myself again, come on Y/N.

“Y/N, you will be on Doctor Kim’s team.”

Y/N looked between the father and son duo. She was hoping it was with his father, it would be easier for her. “Which one?”

“Obviously mine. Stupid.”

Her eyes widened and looked at Seokjin who was shaking his head at her. She bit her lip and rubbed her arm gently, “Right…sorry.”

Doctor Hyeon laughed at this and shook his head, “Y/N, I appreciate your enthusiasm. It makes me happy to see the new generation excited to help.”

Y/N smiled at this and it was the first time today she felt truly happy, “Always excited to help, Doctor.”

She heard a scoff and glanced at Seokjin who was rolling his eyes. She didn’t let this get to her because she was telling the truth. She wanted to help everyone and make people’s lives easier. It was her duty as a nurse now. 

Chaewon put the clipboard on her desk and she clapped her hands, “Okay, now let’s head towards our teams and help our patients.”

“Yes!”

Y/N was following Seokjin at a distance. Down the hall, everyone was glancing at him and she realized that everybody has a crush on him. He was handsome and he was the top doctor here, what’s not to like? He opened the door to the main doctor's office and she bowed to the other doctors before catching up with Seokjin. She quickly sat in the chair next to him as she continued to look over the clipboard as the sound of keys echoed through the empty room. She couldn’t look up from the gray board and the words before her gave her comfort (even if it was a diagnosis). 

Seokjin sighed and turned towards her, “Shouldn’t you be assisting me and not just sitting there?” 

She swallowed some spit and looked at him with nervous eyes, “Well, Doctor, you didn’t give me any assignment...”

“You’ve been reading the same paper for thirty minutes, shouldn’t you know what your assignment is?” 

“Huh?” She glanced down at the paper and re-read it. Her eyes widened and realized that it was telling her about a patient. She looked up at Seokjin who was smirking at her with a raised eyebrow, “Well?”

She stood up from her seat and bowed at him, “I’ll be going.” 

He watched her leave and he couldn’t help but let a small laugh escape. Hoseok glanced at him with curiosity and leaned towards him, “Did you just laugh?”

Seokjin turned towards him and rolled his eyes, “Do you have the report I needed this morning?” 

“O-Oh, don’t change the subject.” 

Y/N walked into the room and the frown she once had was replaced. She quickly made her way to Jungkook who was helping a little girl, “Kook~!” 

Jungkook turned around and smiled at her, “Y/N, how was the rest of the morning?” 

She frowned and shook her head, “I’m on his team...I’m happy but also sad.”

“Don’t let him bother you. Why are you here?” 

“Ah.” She showed him the clipboard and then looked around the ward, “I’m looking for Seo Jimin.” 

“Ah, Jimin. She’s sleeping right now. She just had her blood drawn.”

Y/N nodded her head and looked down at the little girl, “Hello, what’s your name?”

“Kimmy.” 

“Pleasure to meet you Kimmy, I’m Nurse L/N.”

Kimmy tilted her head and pointed towards her, “Idiot.” 

“Eh?” Kimmy started laughing and she ran from them leaving Y/N with a shocked face. She looked towards Jungkook and frowned, “Did I piss someone off? Why is everything going wrong today?”

Jungkook patted her back gently and offered her a gentle smile, “It’s okay Y/N. Things will get better.” 

“Better my ass...”

“Don’t swear. Kids can hear.”

“Sorry...Can you show me Seo Jimin’s room?” 

They walked down the hall and she smiled as the kids laughed through the empty halls. It was different from the cardio halls. In those halls, it felt like she had to be serious and she saw Taehyung talking to a nurse with a clipboard. He looked like he had been doing this for years. She smiled at this and continued to follow Jungkook. 

“This is Seo Jimin’s room.”

Y/N nodded her head and peeked her head through the curtains to see the eleven-year-old she read about. Jimin looked up and gave her a small wave, “Are you my new nurse?” 

“Kind of, my name is Y/N. I’m from Doctor Kim’s office.”

“Jinnie? He’s the greatest, isn’t he?” 

Y/N let out a small laugh and nodded her head I thought he was, “He is. You're my first patient.” 

“What kind of tests are you doing for me?”

Y/N sat on the bed gently and shook her head, “I’m here to meet you.” She looked around and saw hamster stickers on her wall with a familiar K-pop group, “You like Red Velvet?”

Jimin's grin widened and nodded her head, “I love Yeri but Wendy is my bias.” 

“Ah, good choice. Is that why you have the hamsters?” 

“It makes me think of my room at home. It makes me smile.” 

Y/N smiled at this and nodded her head, “Music is the greatest pleasure one can have. It makes you feel happy with a simple note. It’s amazing.” 

“Y/N, I hope I get to see you more. I don’t get to talk about my music.”

“You can always talk to me. We can talk about Red Velvet, every minute of the day.” 

Jimin laughed and looked at Jungkook, “Do you like Red Velvet?” 

“I’ve heard of them.” 

Jimin pouted and leaned towards Y/N, “He’s boring. I like you.” 

At least you like me, “I like you too.” Y/N glanced down at her watch and then back at Jimin with a frown, “I have to go but don’t be afraid to push the button or call for Mr. Boring.” 

“I can still hear you.”

“Okay Nurse Y/N.” 

Y/N and Jungkook walked outside and walked towards the front desk of the pediatrician department.  She sighed and glanced at Jungkook, “She had purplish lips...I read that she’s been having shortness of breath more frequently. Any news on that?” 

“Doctor Yu says that they're waiting for a test result to see her oxygen levels...if it’s good then she can be discharged with medication but they don't think that's going to happen.”

“I saw her calendar...she has Friday circled for her discharge. I hope everything turns out for her.” 

Y/N was making her way back to the Seokjin’s office but was stopped. She looked up to see Doctor Jung giving her a friendly smile, “Are you the one who is trying to defeat the devil?”

She tilted her head and she was confused, “Devil?”

“Yeah, Jin.”

“O-Oh, Doctor Seokjin...wait-defeat?” 

Hoseok let out a laugh and nodded his head, “I think you're the one that can defeat him and I'll help you.” 

“I-I don’t want to defeat anyone!?” 

“I’ll help you with him. I’ve known him since we were kids, I’ll get him to like you back.”

Y/N’s eyes widened and she looked around her frantically, “Don’t say that so loud...wait you’ll help me? Why?”

Hoseok leaned forward with their foreheads almost touching. This caused Y/N to be stiff at the sudden action, “I want to see him happy. Let’s defeat the devil.”

Y/N smiled at this and nodded her head, “O-Okay.~” 

Hoseok looked around and glanced at the vending machine, “You want a protein bar?” 

“Oh, that sounds good. Is it chocolate?” 

“I think so, let’s go see together.” 

“Okay.”

There was a pair of annoyed eyes on her back and maybe if she saw the eyes, she would melt under the brown irises. 

“Nurse Y/N?”

“Mmm?” 

Y/N was drawing Jimin’s blood as she was making her usual rounds, “Do you think I’ll be able to leave this week?” 

Y/N's brain stopped working for a second and she swallowed her spit. She glanced at Jimin and gave her a gentle smile, “Hopefully. Medicine will always be there for you, no matter what.”

“I want to see my council friends.” 

Y/N brought the needle to the vial and smiled at Jimin, “You're on the council?” 

“Yeah, I’m the student body president.”

“Wow, that’s amazing. That means you can handle responsibility.” 

Jimin nodded her head and just then the curtains were pushed to see a group of younger kids. They all looked at Jimin with a star in their eyes and Y/N couldn’t help but feel her heart swelled. “Unnie! Can you read this for me?”

Jimin smiled and looked at Y/N, “They always come with the new books.”

Y/N glances at the book and smiles, “Reading about Spider-man. He really is amazing, right?”

“Yeah!” 

Taehyung entered the room and waved at Y/N, “Yo.” 

“Hey, you. How’s everything?” 

Taehyung shrugged his shoulders and frowned at her, “I haven’t seen you much. I missed you.”

Y/N rolled her eyes and let out a laugh. She stood up from her chair and picked up a little girl to sit next to Jimin. She rubbed the top of her head and walked towards Taehyung, “You never texted me back.” 

“Y/N, you know I don’t have my phone.”

“But you have a laptop.” 

“Be nice to me. I’ll make it up by buying you lunch.”

Y/N pursed her lips together and nodded her head, “I want crab.”

“Eh? It’s not in season though?”

“Then I guess you don’t want to make it up with me...” 

Taehyung pouted and nodded his head, “Fine.” 

“Nurse L/N is this what you do when I ask you to make your rounds?” 

Y/N stiffened and looked behind Taehyung to see Seokjin glaring at her making her feel small. She bowed to him and as soon as she did, her papers slipped out of the folder and onto the ground. She closed her eyes and she already knew he was going to get mad at her. She slowly looked up and gave him a small smile, “Sorry...”

“Are you just going to look at me or pick up the papers?” 

She nodded her head and picked up the papers in a rush. She pushed some hair back and handed him the folder, “This is the vitals for Choi Nari in room 782.” 

“It’s room 781.”

She glanced down at her paper and then back at him with a sheepish smile, “Room 781...I just took Seo Jimin’s vitals.” 

“Good job, you can draw blood. At least you can do that right.” 

Seokjin walked past her and she frowned at this, so I messed up again. Taehyung shook his head and looked at Y/N with a disapproving look, “Out of all the men, you like him.”

She glared at Taehyung and then watched Seokjin talk to Jimin with the same softness he did when she was younger, “I like him because...because he’s the same person that was kind to me on that fateful day.”

“Idiot.” 

“I heard you.”

“Nurse L/N are you going to help me or just keep talking?” 

She bowed at Seokjin and then stuck her tongue at Taehyung, “Coming!” 

Taehyung watched with a small smile on his face, “Idiot...

 ┊ ➶ ｡˚ 　　°┊

Hoseok pointed at the cafe and smiled at Y/N, “Every morning, Jin gets a mocha with a chocolate croissant.” 

Y/N glances at the cafe in the entrance of the hospital and then back at him with a shocked look, “He likes sweets?” 

Hoseok laughed while nodding his head, “Shocking?”

“He’s the opposite of sweet...salty...no maybe sour.”

“But today is Friday. He gets a white chocolate croissant.” 

“Wow, he has a strong sweet tooth.” 

Hoseok and Y/N enter the cafe and the smell of coffee hits her nose. She scrunched her nose at the smell because she wasn’t the biggest fan of coffee but then the smell of fresh pastry came. She smiled and looked into the small window, “They have fresh muffins... oh, they have strawberries!?” 

Hoseok laughed, “The strawberries are really good.” 

“Doctor Jung?”

Y/N turned around and saw Aria looking at her with a frown. Y/N waved at her but when it wasn’t returned she slowly put her hand down. Y/N bowed at her and offered an awkward smile, “Good morning Aria.” 

“Good morning Nurse L/N. Doctor Jung, are you just coming in?” 

Hoseok turned towards her and nodded his head, “Yeah, would you like a coffee?” 

Aria let a smile appear and she shook her head, “You don’t have to...I appreciate it though.” 

“You should let me treat you after yesterday. You were the only one that caught her block artery.” 

“I had you to help me...I should be saying thank you, Doctor Jung.”

“Give yourself credit.” 

Y/N glanced between the two and she heard wedding bells. She smiled and looked at Hoseok, “Aria is amazing. She was always on top of the classes.” 

Hoseok smiled at this and nodded his head, “I can see that. You're talented. I’m glad you're on my team.”

“Doctor Jung...” 

Y/N looked past Aria and she rushed to the entrance, “Good morning Doctor Kim.” 

Seokjin rolled his eyes and moved past her, “You're blocking the entrance.”   

Y/N moved away and bit her lip, “Sorry...”

“Ah, Jin.”

Seokjin looked up and saw Hoseok with a smile on his face, “What?” 

“I was ordering Y/N a muffin. Would you like a coffee?” 

Seokjin glanced at Y/N and was already looking at him with a smile, “Muffin?”

“What was that?”

Seokjin let out a small cough and shook his head, “I said nothing. I want nothing.” 

Seokjin went to the cashier and ordered his usual but he glanced at the strawberry muffin. He looked over his shoulder to see Y/N talking to Hoseok with a wide smile on her face. He looked back at the cashier and nodded his head, “The muffin too, please.” 

“I had to give her a quick stitch with Doctor Yu.”

“Y/N, you learn on the fly. Good work.” 

“Thank you, Doctor Jung.” Just then a brown paper hit her face and she let out a small hmph. She looked to the side and saw Seokjin holding the said bag that hit her, “Eh?” 

“It's a muffin. Take it.” 

She looked at the bag and then at him with a wide smile, “You bought me a muffin? Is this going to be our thing on Fridays?”

Seokjin rolled his eyes and looked at Hoseok, “Don’t you have a meeting with my dad?” 

Hoseok glanced at his watch and cussed under his breath, “I’ll see you later Y/N.” 

“Bye Doctor Jung.” 

Y/N took the bag and looked at him with curious eyes, “What flavor?”

“Strawberry.” 

“Really? I wanted to try these. Thank you, Doctor Kim.” 

“Hurry up and eat that so we can get to work. No slacking today.”

“Yes, Doctor.”

“Don’t salute.” 

Doctor Yu frowned and looked at Y/N, “Sadly Seo Jimin won’t be discharged.”

Y/N looked at her and then back at the papers, “Her oxygen levels...you don’t mean...”

“Yes, a heart transplant.” 

Y/N stood in the office and glanced at Seokjin with a frown, “Isn’t she young for this?” 

“Nurse L/N, if someone needs treatment then they need it.”

Y/N nodded her head and looked down at her shoes. She felt stupid for saying that and she got scolded again. How many times will she get scolded by Seokjin? 

Hyeon looked at his son, “Now Jin. Behave. It was a good question. Y/N always asks good questions regarding patients.” 

Y/N looked up and smiled at his father, “Doctor Kim...” 

Seokjin rolled his eyes and glanced at his dad, “I’ll be going. I have to talk to Jimin’s mother.” 

Y/N watched him walk out and frowned, “Mean.”

Hyeon let out a laugh and stood up from his desk, “Don’t worry about him.” 

“Doctor Kim?” 

“You're doing great. He’s harsher on you because he sees potential in you.” 

Her eyes widened and it looked like she had stars in her eyes, “Really!? You think so!?” 

Hyeon nodded his head and crossed his arms over his chest, “I know so.” 

“All you do is talk, hurry up.” 

Y/N turned around to see Seokjin standing there with an annoyed face. She bowed at him and nodded his head, “Sorry. I’m coming.”  She turned towards Hyeon and bowed, “Bye Doctor Kim.” 

Hyeon let out a small laugh, “Bye, Y/N.” 

Hyeon watched them leave with a smile on his face. He glanced down at the picture of his wife and smiled, “I think she's good for him. What do you think, Yuri?” 

Y/N followed Seokjin but she was looking down at her shoes. She felt like if she looked at his back then he would grow arms from his back and attack her. She was so focused on her white shoes that she walked into his back when he stopped. She looked up to be met with his disapproving look, “Sorry...” 

Seokjin didn’t say anything but it quickly changed when he saw Jimin’s mom, “Mrs. Seo, thank you for coming by.”

Mrs. Seo gave him a smile and nodded her head, “I’ll do anything for Jimin. Will she be able to leave today?” 

Seokjin frowned and shook his head, “That’s what I need to talk to you about. Let’s go talk in the hallway.”

Y/N bowed at Mrs. Seo and she glanced at Jimin who was soundly asleep. She smiled at this and took out a small plushie from her pocket. She placed the hamster right to her and she smiled when she saw her hug it.

“She’s been sleeping for almost the whole day.”

She turned around and saw Taehyung with a frown, “I heard....”

“She’s not getting discharged is she?”

Y/N shook her head and looked at Taehyung, “How was your day?”

“Jungkook forgot his lunch so I shared mine. I’m hungry.” 

Y/N let out a small laugh, “You're always saving him.” 

“I can save you but you won’t let me.”

Y/N glanced at Jimin and shrugged her shoulders, “I can take care of myself.”

“You would let Jim take care of you.” 

She frowned at his tone and looked at him, “You always bring him up.” 

“Because it's the truth. This weekend we're going to the crab place?”

“If that’s okay with you?”

“It's perfect for me.” 

“Nurse Kim, Nurse L/N, let’s leave Jimin’s room. She needs rest.” 

Y/N glances over Taehyung’s shoulder to see Seokjin glaring but not her. She followed his eyes to see him glaring at Taehyung. She frowned at this but didn’t say anything. She bowed at Taehyung and made her way to Seokjin, “Sorry Doctor Kim. I was checking her vitals.” 

“Good. We need to check on Sakura in room 342. Tell me her condition.”

“Right.” She turned around and waved goodbye to Taehyung, “I’ll see you this weekend.”

“Nurse L/N, hurry up.” 

“Sorry, coming!” 

The walk to Sakura’s room was quiet and Y/N kept glancing at her shoes and his Seokjin’s back. Seokjin’s shoulders were so broad and she wondered what it would look like underneath or what he would look like with just his doctor's coat. Her mind started to wonder and she couldn’t help but smile.

“Y/N, would you like to treat me?”

“Nurse L/N, did you hear me?”

She shook her head and looked at him, “Eh?”

He sighed and looked at the paper, “Sakura is twenty-six, she’s been having breathing problems. Her heart rate has been slower than usual. We need to do an echo.” 

Y/N nodded her head, “Echo?” 

“Have you seen one?” 

Y/N shook her head and he sighed, “Then I’ll show you.”

Being this close to Seokjin was a dream. He was showing her Sakura’s heart but the only thing she saw was hearts in her eyes. The way his hair fell to his forehead and his gentle voice when he talked to patients made everything lighter. It felt like clouds were around her and Cupid was shooting her heart. 

“Okay Sakura, we’re done. We will tell you the results when we get them.” 

“Thank you, Doctor Kim.”

The two walked out and Seokjin crossed his arms over his chest, “What were we looking at in the echo?”

Y/N stared at Seokjin and bit her lip, “The chambers...”

“And why is that?”

“To see fluid...”  

Seokjin sighed and shook his head, “Can you be more confident Y/N?”

Her eyes widened and she looked at him with a smile, “You said Y/N?” 

“Focus.” 

“Can I call you Jin?”

“Focus.” 

Y/N was at her desk when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up and smiled, “Doctor Jung.” 

“How's the devil?” 

“Still the devil but he called me by name. I hope I can hear it one more time.”

Hoseok laughed and nodded his head, “You're going somewhere with him.” 

“You think so?” 

“Definitely. I was going to ask about Seo Jimin's vitals from earlier.” 

Y/N nodded her head and started going through her papers. She started telling Hoseok but she was unaware of the familiar brown eyes on her. He looked between them and he couldn’t help but glare at Hoseok. He shook his head and made his way down the hall away from the scene. 

“I was actually going to check on her...this isn’t easy. She was so excited to be discharged.” 

Hoseok checked his watch and sighed, “It’s late. She should be sleeping but by all means you can pop in. It doesn’t hurt to check.” 

“Thank you, Doctor.” 

Walking in the halls when it's night felt weird. There were fewer people which means it's quiet. The only sounds you can hear are the shoes on the tiles and the small conversations between the staff. Y/N walked down the hallway and when she was about to open Jimin's door, she noticed it was open. Her eyes widened and opened the door quietly. She took her phone out and shined the light to see Jimin’s bed empty, “Shit.”

Y/N ran out of the room but she bumped into someone, “I’m so sorry-”

“Y/N?”

She looked up and felt relieved, “Jungkook, you're just the person I needed. Seo Jimin is missing from her bed.” 

The nurses were running around the hospital including Y/N. She was in the stairwell that led up to the roof and her eyes widened when she saw the familiar hamster stickers on the floor. She ran to the roof and slammed open the door. She saw Jimin crying on a bench with her knees to her chest. Y/N frowned and slowly walked to her, “Jimin...” 

“Leave me alone.”

Y/N sat next to her and wrapped her arm over her shoulders, “Never...You're upset about the discharge, aren’t you?”

“I thought I was getting better. I was doing everything right but my body...it wouldn’t let me.”  

Y/N frowned at this and gently rubbed her arm, “The body is stubborn sometimes. It matches our spirits. Remember, there's no rush in getting better. Take your time so you can be strong.” 

Jimin glanced at Y/N with a frown and red eyes, “I don’t want to be broken anymore.” 

“You're not broken. Don’t ever say that. You have so much love that your heart just couldn’t take it. Keep that love and positivity. I know it's hard but it will get through so much and it will get better.” 

“Will you be with me?”

“Of course I will.” Y/N let her go and took off her cardigan to place over Jimin’s shoulder. She pushed some hair off of the younger girl’s forehead, “I’ll be with you okay. Every step.”

“I’m sorry I ran away...”

Y/N shook her head and looked up at the sky, “I get it. I would run away too. Look at all the stars shining.” 

“I like the stars.” 

“It’s pretty like you. Let’s get you back in bed before it becomes freezing.” 

The two slowly walked down the stairs but they stopped when Seokjin and Taehyung came their way.

“Jimin!” 

Jimin smiled at Taehyung and waved at him, “Tae, I’m sorry I ran away...I just needed a moment.”

Taehyung sighed and went to her level, “I’m just glad you're okay.”

Seokjin glanced at Y/N and noticed the goosebumps. He slipped off his jacket and draped it around her shoulders. Her face was in pure shock but he avoided her eyes, “You can’t get sick.”

He walked away as she stared at his back. She smiled to herself and brought his coat closer to her, “It smells so good.” 

“Creep.”

“Shut up.” 

When she was walking out of the hospital, her eyes landed on Seokjin who was waiting. She flattened out her clothes and walked towards him, “Goodnight Doctor Kim.”

“Wait.”

She stopped in her tracks and slowly turned around to look at him, “Yes?”

“You're always ready to help. No matter what it is.” 

“Doctor-”

“Just like that day. You rushed to help that older woman and you didn’t even question it. You're meant to help people.” 

Y/N felt the heat rush to her face as she stared at him with a smile, “Seokjin...” 

“You're meant to help people, even if you're annoying.” He walked away and Y/N was left alone standing in the middle of the entrance. She raised her hands to the sky like in a victory pose, “HE REMEMBERS ME!” 

 ┊ ➶ ｡˚ 　　°┊

It’s been three months since Y/N entered the hospital and it felt like a dream. Well, not a dream because of the sick patients but a dream because of Seokjin. Since that night, it felt like they were closer. He only insulted her three times a day instead of ten, that’s huge. Hoseok has been getting her muffins every Friday but then on Saturday Seokjin buys her tea and a breakfast sandwich. She was confused because she didn’t remember telling him her favorite tea or breakfast sandwich but she wasn’t going to fight him. It was a sign that he paid attention to her or someone told him. She wants it to be the latter. 

“You want me to be your date for your brother's wedding?”

Taehyung nodded his head and took a sip of his tea, “Yeah, sorry.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” 

“I honestly didn’t think I needed one but my mom was pressuring me.”

Y/N sighed and leaned back in her chair, “I’ll do it but I want lobster.”

“You and your seafood. Fine.”

Y/N glanced at the exit and saw Seokjin leaving. Y/N stood up from the chair and downed her tea, “I’ll see you later.”

“Y-”

Taehyung watched her leave the lunch court and he frowned at himself. He looked down at his tea and shook his head, “Always the second choice.” 

Y/N ran towards Seokjin and smiled, “Doctor Kim!” 

Seokjin turned around and sent a glare her way, “Why are you following me?”

Y/N looked around and then gave him a confused look, “I always work with you...it’s been like that for three months.” 

“Let’s go before I change my mind.”

Seokjin walked away and she pouted, “Why is he being mean?” She shrugged her shoulders and followed him to his office. She waved at Hyeon who waved back and she sat next to him. She started to go through the paperwork with him (strutting here and there). Hyeon watched from his desk and smiled to himself. He could tell from his son’s eyes that he was happy but he wanted him to figure it out. He just wished it was faster. 

“Nurse L/N, did you check on Lee Sam in room 109?” 

She flipped the papers through her clipboard and shook her head, “No...it says he’s under Hoseok.”

“You're going to work with Hoseok today.”

She raised her eyebrow and looked at him with a confused look, “Why? I like working with you...we work well together.” I also want to look at your face. 

“I’m going to be in the office all day. You need more training.”

“I can train with you. I don’t mind.”

“Also, Nurse Kim...Make sure you do your work. Don’t talk to him that much.”

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows and slowly nodded her head, “Okay? I’ll be going...bye?” 

She left the office and Jin sighed to himself, “Dad the more you stare, the more annoying it gets.”

“I can’t help it. My son is jealous, it's a sight I neve thought I would see.” 

“Shut up old man.” 

Hoseok handed Y/N her clipboard and let out a laugh, “You really have no idea why Jin sent you to me?” 

Y/N shook her head and closed the curtains, “He said it's because I need more training. What other reason would it be?”

Hoseok sighed and shook his head, “You're so smart but also so stupid.”

“Eh! What did I do!?”  

That night, Y/N was walking down to her favorite ramen restaurant and she was shocked to see him sitting in the middle. She pushed some hair back and sat next to him, “How was the office work?” 

Seokjin put down his chopsticks and shrugged his shoulders, “It was office work.” 

She nodded her head and glanced down at his bowl, “You just eat the noodles and juice?” 

“Yeah, why?”

“You need the toppings. They have the best fried shrimp, it tastes so good with the broth.” Seokjin turned towards her and she was caught off guard with his look, “Is everything okay?” 

“You can stare at me all the time but I can’t do the same?”

“Eh? I don’t stare...I admire...that isn’t any better...”   

He let out a small laugh and turned back to his ramen, “Order something. I’ll pay for it.”

She gasped and put her hands over her mouth, “Like a date?”

“It’s whatever you want it to be.”

She choked on her spit and he turned towards her, “Do I have to do mouth to mouth?”

Y/N choked again but this time she met with his smirk. That dinner was the best dinner Y/N ever had and it was because she felt seen by him for once. She wasn’t the clumsy nurse that always stuttered. She was her true self with him tonight. And she got fried shrimp. 

┊ ➶ ｡˚ 　　°┊

“Tae, this wedding is so long.”

“Y/N, it’s a wedding.” 

“So...”

She sat next to him at the reception and of course, she knew no one. The wedding was cute with the bride's dress being beaded from top to bottom. Sometimes she forgets Taehyung’s family was rich. She glanced down at her chicken and ate a piece as Taehyng talked to his uncle. She looked up to take a sip of her champagne but choked when she saw Seokjin casually talking to the bride. She turned towards Taehyung and slapped his arm, “What the fuck?”

“Ow, what?”

She pointed towards Seokjin and then looked at Taehyung, “Why is he here?” 

Taehyung followed her finger and raised his eyebrow, “What a small world?” 

She wiped her mouth and stood up, “I have to talk to him.”

“You don’t have to. You want to, there’s a difference” 

“No, I have to talk to him because I’m in this pretty dress and I have make-up on. He’s never seen that before.”

“Go for it, I can’t stop you anyways.”

She nodded her head and she rushed towards him leaving Taehyung behind. He sighed to himself and took a sip of his whiskey, “I shouldn’t be shocked but...here I am.”

Y/N pushed her hair and felt the confidence coming from within, this was her moment, “Seokjin?”

Seokjin stopped talking to the bride and turned towards her, “Ah, Y/N. I wasn’t expecting you here.”

“Eh? I told you tho-”

“I wasn’t expecting you.” 

She slowly nodded her head and she turned towards the bride, “I’m going to borrow him real quick.”

Y/N took his wrist and headed out of the ballroom with butterflies in her stomach. When they were in a secluded area she let go of his wrist and leaned against the wall with a nervous look. He looked at her with a raised eyebrow and loosened up his tie, “Is everything okay?” 

“No...I can’t hold it back anymore.”  

“Mmm?”

“Kim Seokjin, I like you.”

“I know.”

Y/N stared at him and mouth dropped, “What?”

Seokjin leaned forward and pinned her against the wall with a smirk, “I know you like me.”

“How?”

He gave her a “Are you serious look?” but quickly wiped it off, “I know.” 

“And you didn’t say anything? Why?”

He leaned forward and placed a quick kiss on her lips making her eyes wide. When he leaned away he placed his forehead against hers, “I was waiting for the right moment.” 

“Ri-Right moment? Was this the right moment? I thought the right moment was-”

“Y/N, I liked you the moment we met. When we saved our first patient together.”

“Really?”

Seokjin let out a small laugh and leaned forward placing a kiss on her nose, “I loved you for all this time. Every day you give me a reason to be my best self. I want to be a better doctor because of you. You always want to help and solve everything, how could I not love you?” 

“Yo-You love me?” 

“I do, I really do.” 

“Holy shit.” 

He leaned away and smiled, “Well, do you-”

“I love you...sorry, you didn’t finish your sentence.” 

“I have a room in this hotel...do you want to go up?” 

“Yeah....Yeah, I do.” 

There were moments when Y/N couldn’t believe stuff. Like when she was five, she couldn’t believe that she saw a double rainbow. At this moment, she couldn’t believe she was going to Seokjin’s hotel room. The man that she’s been in love with since she was eighteen, loves her. He loves her like the way she loves him. What more can she want? 

When the door closed, she stared at him with wide doe eyes that made Seokjin want to die. He walked towards her and gently touched her cheek with his thumb, “I love you...I wish I was more romantic but I would go to the ends of the earth to show you. Roses can’t even express how I love you but they can try. Y/N, you are my person. I love everything about you...even when you ramble.”

She felt tears well up in her eyes as she looked at him, “I wish I had that on my phone...it would be your new ringtone.” 

He laughed and leaned forward without their lips, “No need for that, I’ll tell you every day for the rest of your life.” 

“Promise?”

“Promise.” 

The light of the hotel room illuminated their faces perfectly. The space between them was enough to create a silhouette. They leaned forward and her eyes gave him the answer he needed. Their lips gently touched, making them one under the light. Her arms slowly moved up and wrapped around his neck as he went around her waist. There was no space, no light was going to escape between them on this night.  

“Ji-Jin!” She gasped as Jin inserted a second finger inside, pumping it as fast as he could. She bit her lip harshly trying not to bother the poor people next door, “You don’t have to be quiet.” 

“Jin, there are people-”

“I rented out the rooms around me so I don’t have to deal with loudness.”

“Wow, that was really hot to hear actually.” 

His fingers curled inside of her and it was gently touching her most sensitive spot that made her buck her hips. He pressed his palm to her clit as his fingers continued to move in her, “So good for me.”

“On-Only for you.” 

After the intense orgasm, she glanced at him with a needy look, “Do you have a condom?”

“Of course I do.”

“Take off the rest of your clothes. It's not fair I’m naked and you're not.” 

“Your wish is my command.” 

When Jin comes back, the kiss turns from innocent with pure love to sloppy and needy. He gently pushes her up to have her lay on the pillows as he kisses down her neck. He placed a kiss on top of her breast and looked up, “I would eat you out but I can’t wait any longer. Next time I’ll do it.”

“Ne-Next time?”

“Of course, there will be next time. This pussy will only crave for me after I’m done.” 

He rolled the condom onto his dick and looked up at her with a smile. She returned the smile and nodded her head, “I trust you.” 

He kissed her neck and with a needy moan, she arched her back pressing her body closer to his. She could feel the heat from him and it was only turning her on more. Seokjin positions himself between her legs, his tip teasing her entrance. The waiting was killing her and she kept looking at him with pleading eyes. He begins to enter but once he is halfway, he pulls out causing her to moan out. He smirked at the reaction and stuck himself back in but fully this time. 

He let out a groan as he looked at her face, “I love you.”

“I-I love you more.” 

With each thrust, the love that they were both holding back was flooding up the room. The sounds of moans and wet slaps of their bodies coming together echoed. His movements became more urgent with each passing second, “You’re so...fuck... perfect.” 

Her cheeks flushed from all the love confession but she couldn’t help but feel so blessed in this moment. He gently pushed the hair out of her face as she brought her thumb over his lips, a gentle touch to tell him what her heart wanted to say. His cock continued to pound into her g-spot and each thrust was sending her pure pleasure through her body. 

“Let go, baby.”

She leaned forward placing a kiss on his lips when she felt the intensity coming over her. When she leaned away she felt like there was no air left in her body. Her body felt numb against his but she didn’t want this to end anytime soon. His voice was strained with the pleasure he was feeling, the clenching sensation was making him stutter. 

“Cumming.” 

She clenched her pussy around him harder and this was his breaking point. She was overwhelmed by the intensity of the pleasure as his head fell into her chest. The gasping of air filled the room as they stayed still in this moment. He slowly looked up and kissed her forehead with a soft smile, “My cure...” 

[crepesuzette2023]

Thank you for the tag, @pauls1967moustache! My heart is in my fiction, and I'm happy to talk about a bit. <3

How many works do you have on ao3?

15! All within the Beatles fandom (various pairings, but with a focus on J/P).

What’s your total word count?

95,825.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

In John's Lap (early days mclennon), play me one of yours (early days, Jim POV on J/P), Brian Manages (Sole Direction) (1968; Brian lives AU/Fix it, mclennon from Brian POV), Serenade in Paul (PWP mclennon), I was the dream weaver (1968/1969 breakup, angst; John POV)

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

I do. I deeply appreciate it when people take the time to let me know their thoughts, or simply that they liked my story—and replying feels like completing a handshake.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Probably I was the dream weaver—there is some hope in the end, but it's a small flame in a dark night. But the love is there.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I think Brian Manages, which is only appropriate, since it's a Secret Santa gift (2023). Yes, the story is about saving Lennon/McCartney, but it's mainly about Brian, and it was important to me to give him a happy ending as well. And, of course, Eyes of the Storm: John goes to a private opening of Paul’s EYES OF THE STORM exhibition to meet with Paul, who, after many years and many ups and downs, is still his lover, and his favorite collaborator. Shameless wish fulfillment fic: John lives, everyone lives…and everyone is there.

Do you write crossovers?

Not yet, but I would love to one day! I can't think of any, though...

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not yet.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do write smut, and I think I tend to write smut with feelings. No specific kinks yet, except...Paul's leg fur and body hair. And his entire spritely gestalt.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware. Brrr.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Again, not that I'm aware.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, twice, with @ohjohnnysblog. Thank you, OJ, for holding my hand during my very first fic, Storage Space, and for coming back for Serenade in Paul!

What's your all-time favourite ship?

I'm probably mainly a John/Paul fan, but I have a soft spot for Paul/Mal, and actually enjoy Paul/ any male Beatles-adjacent character, or Paul in a threesome...

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I am determined—*determined!*—to finish my story about Old Man Paul releasing his mclennon dreams/memories on the world. I'm also determined to write a long Woodland Sprite Paul AU. One day.

What are your writing strengths?

I swear I'm not fishing for compliments, but I honestly can't say. I don't hate my writing, I'm just reluctant to analyze myself that way, you know. But if I had to pick one: I think I have the ability to remember, out of all the Beatles stuff I read and saw and thought about, the right detail at the right time while writing. Not as in listing facts, but as in: this would fit nicely here.

What are your writing weaknesses?

English isn't my first language, which in the context of Beatles fic means I'm not your best choice if you're looking for realistic Liverpool dialogue to leap off the page. I wish I had Paul's talent for mimicry...!

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

People can do what they want, but if there's entire pages in a language I can't read, and no footnotes to help me, the story isn't for me. Individual words and phrases are a different thing, of course.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

This one! Beatles! McLennon! Paul, you were my first, and I was your billionth!

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

Breaking news, I think I might try my hand at Peaky Blinders at some point...

What's your favourite fic you've written?

Similar to you, Mo, I love all of mine equally, but I have special love in my heart for the fic that lifted me out of a spell of the writing horrors this fall: Johnny Gentle and His Group, about the Silver Beetles' 1960 Scottish Tour. And, of course, Hurricaneville: leg combing McLennon in 1961!

Tagging, if you’d like @eveepe, @revollver, @m1ssunderstanding, @unchaineddaisychain , @therealsaintscully and @scurator!