#all I'm asking is to be sure not to forget/support your little creators or they will probably want to leave

[frostycatblr-fandom-files]

nobody owes you reblogs just because you're a smaller creator. who cares. quit crying about it and grow tf up

I'm guessing you sent me this because I reblogged something by @/anxiouspineapple99 a bit ago with the tag "#doubly so for small creators" (followed by #please) when she reminded people of the importance of reblogging things from people.

Here's the answer to the "who cares." question, anon.

I understand *very* clearly that I am not "owed" reblogs: but the reason I care that I'm not getting them is I'm a small creator with less than 90 followers and get a handful of interactions on more recent (non-OC) fandom posts; mostly in the form of likes, which do not get my works in front of other people's eyes to expand my "reach" and (potentially) grow.

So no, I will not just "quit crying" about it: I think I'm allowed to be a little upset.

With the exception of a select few lovely, lovely people, my work does not get commented on a lot with any semblance of regularity. My work does not get reblogged and circulated the same way I see many other fanfic authors get within the area I write for. I've tried a number of things to grow or be noticed by using big, popular fandom tags and the like, and very few people reblog, but many will like and that's the end of it. Likes are nice engagement, but they don't circulate my work the way a reblog does.

You don't get to ask "Who cares?" when frankly there are a lot of creators who I've noticed are sticking to and promoting the same circle of people over, and over, and over whenever there are people asking who's out there to read. It looks like a clique if I'm honest.

How are little creators supposed to feel like they belong to a community that part of it looks and acts like it has a clique or a club?

How are little creators supposed to grow when their work does not get shared and gets overlooked time and time again in favor of the same few people who are constantly reblogged from (or promoted) all the time?

How will little creators decide to stay when there's hardly the same amount of interaction that encourages them to continue engaging?

You don't get to act surprised when little creators feel like leaving when something they create as a fan, for other fans to hopefully enjoy, is not shared or recommended to other people.

You don't get to act surprised when little creators want to give up or get upset from time to time because trying to self-promote has stimulated little growth, or they are ignored in favor of their "cliques" and their other, bigger, creator friends.

Fandoms can't do this kind of stuff and then get surprised that one by one there are fewer people who want to write and create and the like when they do not feel as valued, loved, or welcomed.

Little creators notice the favoritism, anon! And it becomes discouraging to little creators to even try and participate when we have imposter syndrome telling us "We're not like ABC-BLOG. People think they're so much better than us and/or are "the" CharacterXYZ creator..." based on how other people react to their work compared to our own.

I don't even feel like sharing the next piece of Star Wars fanart I'm in the middle of anymore if I'm honest.

(And I was really excited about it.)

Right now I don't feel like sharing almost anything I write when very few people engage with it, because I don't feel like there's a point and that I won't be seen; because people don't reblog stuff from the little creators quite like they do for their favorite authors.

Reblogs matter to all creators on Tumblr, anon. And I'm going to say it's doubly so for the little ones because it's the bitter truth; I find it sad you think I need to "grow tf up" for saying that. I'm allowed to be upset about how I'm "valued" or treated as a smaller creator, anon.

I wouldn't cry about it if I didn't care and could stop comparing myself to how others get treated when I myself am a little creator and interaction is what motivates me to tough it out a "little longer" and not leave.

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

Requested by @vilandel

(A side note for the sake of the game, the max number of headcanons per ask was 3 for 1 character, I'm making an exception for my mutuals (who also create, and I feel it to be fair that creators get a little extra) however, nothing is keeping you from sending in many)

Nozel Silva

2. Sleep/ing headcanon

He has a lot of pillows on his bed, and uses them to make a kind of a nest around himself at night. Not necessarily a grand nest, but just something behind his back, and something that he can hold at night. They keep him warmed and give him support, along with some comfort. On good nights he doesn’t bother that much, maybe one pillow to his back, and one to hold. It’s easier to sleep on his side that way too. But on bad nights… he builds a proper nest for himself with blankets and pillows. It’s almost like he wants to hide himself from the world. But he never quite succeeds at it.

3. Love language

His love language comes through acts of service. He’s not good with words or physical affection. Sure, he can mirror them to an extent, in a manner of ‘if you hug me, I can hug you’, but he doesn’t use them as his expression of love. Initiating them isn’t his method of choice. At least not in the beginning. He thinks of himself as useful, which is why he shows affection through that. He is able to perform, and has a lot of tools at his disposal to do that. And he might occasionally, for notable dates, do text book acts of appreciation. Flowers, jewelry, chocolates and so on. But the cards are very generic. Sometimes his acts of service manifest in him as him learning things. It could be either memorizing things about his spouse; little things that one might not expect, such as favourite ice cream flavours or flowers, or how you tie your shoelaces. And he adores it all. Or, then he could learn something you care about, just so that he can perform acts of service better, get you equipment or tools so that performing at a, for example hobby, is easier.

7. A precious childhood memory

One of his precious childhood memories is flying with his mom for the first time. He was three, almost four. Most people would say that he would have been too young to remember, but he wasn’t. He remembers it quite clearly. How Acier told him that he could fly with her, because an eagle has to know how a wind feels. It’s the only way to learn to fly. And they flew quite high, quite fast. But Nozel wanted to go higher, and faster. Maybe they would have, if Nozel wouldn’t have been so fidgety; excited to be up in the air. He wasn’t afraid. And he wasn’t looking at the ground below, he was looking at the sky, with a bright, bright smile.

13. Body language headcanon

When he’s stressed, and deep in thought about something, he starts fidgeting the hairclip at the end of his braid. It’s a very small motion, and somewhat discrete since it could just be him holding his fingers in front of his mouth, in a very similar way as when someone is thinking about something. In public he has to make a mental note not to do that, but in private he doesn’t bother. Even if sometimes there might be tiny scrapes on his nose because of the sharp corners of the hairclip.

20. Romantic headcanon

He has a little notebook, in which he marks down all anniversaries and important dates, just to make sure he doesn’t forget anything. Also plans he makes for dates, ideas for gifts and mementos. And sometimes there are little notes about his spouse, cute things, lovely things, things that make him smile. He just doesn’t want to forget them; the little things. God forbid if anyone else finds it.

[jerzwriter]

When I saw the event announced, I had the very best of intentions. I was going to share my favorite fics/art, masterlists, and send personal messages to many that I hold near and dear. Unfortunately, the event coincided with the wedding of my nephew/godson/other child, and I was far too busy to do much at all. But hey, kindness is an ongoing event, right? So I'll try to do some of those things after the fact; I'm sure no one will mind. 😊

But I wanted to take a moment to send a shout-out to everyone who does their part to help keep the fandom alive and strong and who takes the time to build each other up rather than tear them down. Fandoms exist as a place where we can create, find commonality, and escape. We need more things like this in our increasingly troubled world, a safe haven... that's what this should be.

Choices was always a niche fandom, but we're so tiny now, but you can see the passion in those who remain and we're always eager to welcome newcomers who still arrive! (We ain't dead, people! lol) So...

To the creators: Thank you for continuing to share your gifts with us. You may not always know it, but your art can help someone through a rough day, bring a smile when needed, or elicit emotion that the consumer didn't even know they needed to release. Thanks for making us think, laugh, cry, lust, and fall in love with our little blorbos. You really are the best!

To the givers: Those who run events to keep this little place of ours going. To those who see someone is having a bad day and take action - it could be sending a DM, a cute ask, a funny little gif, a new creation for one of their beloved characters, or simply offering a hug and an ear - YOU are truly the backbone of the fandom and an example of what we all should be in every aspect of our lives. THANK YOU for that.

To the readers and art lovers: Your likes, comments and reblogs are the fuel that help creators going when they feel they have nothing more to give. You have no idea how much they mean and how much they are appreciated. You are part of the puzzle that makes a fandom whole, you are seen and you are appreciated!

Personally, I'd like to thank so many people, and I will in my own way in the weeks to come. Some of you have been a source of support, kindness, and inspiration that have lifted me through some difficult times this year. I only hope I was able to return that to you in the smallest of ways. I'm not naming names only because I'm always so worried that I'll forget someone and hurt their feelings, but I try to express how I feel in the moment, so I hope you know who you are, and I hope you know how much you're appreciated.

@choicesfandomappreciation Thank you so much for hosting this and other events and doing your best to make this place special for all. You are appreciated beyond words! 🩷

[theerurishipper]

Marinette a cruel person tbh. Even a psychopath or hell maybe im raising the bar a little too high but a stranger would be able comfort ChatNoir seeing his situation. The New York special and him spiraling made me despise her because someone fucking died to make this partnership work.... this isn't even inconsistent characterization from past seasons this is very consistent she's always been like this. Girl ain't willing to even see what underneath the mask eh? or believe he has other things to do besides fucking risking his life as a teenager im surprised their dynamic lasted as long as they did because she comes off very cold when it comes to her partner compared to Alya. Why she like that hell if I know had it been me i'd cuss her out or at least tell her off. How the hell you don't comfort a human being when they show their insecurities I don't know especially someone you've worked along with that saves paris numerous times.

I gotta ask if Chat Noir was more vocal and angry and actually lost it on her would it finally stick it in her damn head that he isn't someone who pops into existence defeating akumas but a very real boy underneath? You know I have know fucking clue personally what is so hard for her about that being a respectful partner and understanding that Chat is human. I remembered in origins he took more of a leading approach I think sorry my memory is dogcrap these days and yet he encouraged her and gave her confidence what so hard returning the favor back?

I mean, comparing her to Chloe? That's like choosing between a rock and a hard place. Chloe's got that villainess aura, sure, but at least she's upfront about it what expectation is there to be had for a cannon fodder villain like Chloe with a creator who hater her to the point even in-universe she still the story punching bag . Now Marinette, oh please, she's got this pristine "heroine white lotus" thing going on. It's like she can do no wrong, and the world just eats it up.

And don't get me started on Ephemeral. Talk about a masterclass in betrayal! She pulls a stunt that would make Judas proud, corrupts herself with power, and what? No consequences, no rules, just a free pass to wreak havoc. Must be nice living in Marinette's world where the rules only apply to us mere mortals.

And let's not forget her emotional boy toys, Luka and Adrien, just waiting there like loyal lapdogs, ready to clean up the mess she leaves behind. It's the Marinette show, and everyone else is just playing supporting roles in her drama.

But hey, who needs nuance when you've got that heroine Marinette halo shining so bright? It's the perfect excuse for her to mess up royally, and everyone will still be there, cheering her on with no accountability taken . The world's her playground, and we're just living in it.

I'm sorry for ranting it's just im done with her sorry if I made it negative for you.

Calling her a psychopath is too harsh ngl. I disagree with you on that. I don't think we should be throwing around words like that lightly.

But I do agree with your overall point. Very harsh, but pretty close to the mark. I also personally wouldn't compare her to Chloe, but then again, that all went out of the window after the Season 5 finale. I wouldn't call her cruel or evil, but she does benefit from the protagonist centered morality the show adopted in Season 4. Chat Noir shouldn't expect anything from her, and he should apologize for her mistakes because she can do no wrong. It sucks.

Thank you for your ask!

[goodboyaudios]

i’m evil like that muahaha~ also!!!!! congratulations on 40k!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m sure you’ll be getting way more recognition in the future:D

since you gave permission:

you said you’re finishing off uni, did you always know what you wanted to study? i’m at the (depressing) stage in life where i’m fully realizing how many curve balls life throws at you:) the path to success usually isn’t linear, so i’m curious about your journey!

it seems like you’re always asking for feedback or addressing issues, etc. do you have any feedback for us (as in, the community)? most people i’ve interacted with are pretty chill, but idk maybe there’s we could improve on?

this one might be a bit personal, so feel free to ignore! do your friends or family know about your channel/work? i’d imagine it’d be nice to have someone you could bounce ideas off of before publishing stuff! if not, how do you manage to hide all that stuff hahah~. you’ve built an entirely different universe, so i refuse to believe a sane man can keep all of that in his head and live a normal life simultaneously:p

if you could befriend any oc of yours, who would it be and why?

i’m not sure how to word this question properly, but are there any endings/plot points that you had initially envisioned differently? like, did you think a story was going one way and changed your mind half ways through?

you don’t have to answer all of these! you did ask for it, but i hope i’m not overwhelming you haha~

Absolutely not. School didn't do anything to prepare me for the world. My college has done less than nothing in preparing me to get a job in my field, YOUTUBE HAS DONE MORE FOR ME THAN COLLEGE AT THIS POINT and if I'm completely honest with you? That's fuckin sad. No, I had no idea what I wanted to do and I wish I was that kind of person who knew right out the gate. (lucky bastards) Okay, I'm done with my rant lol

I didn't know what field I wanted to study in, so I took a chance and jumped into something I knew I had some knowledge in and hoped for the best. Really that's all you can do. I have learned that, when you get out of highschool and you don't know what to do, do everything until something sticks. Trial and error. It's not the most efficient, but it works!

Any feedback to GIVE to the community? Let me think. Honestly, the community has been very wonderful to me. Occasionally something pops up, but it's usually squashed. The discord server is full of wonderful and creative and talented people who have always had my back and support the work I do. I hear all the time about drama in fellow creator servers and toxic behavior in the communities, etc...but my end of things has always been super nice! (that might have something to do with my lack of NSFW content) But yeah! No notes really! Everything good in our little neighborhood!

My family is aware AND so is my extended family lol! They are supportive, but they don't really give me ideas to bounce off. I have other fellow writers and creatives or that! And I do write everything down and go back to it in case I forget something. But typically speaking its all in my head, yep! I just...don't know how to do other things! Like...dress fashionably or...function in a normal society...you know useless stuff like that!

Zed. He needs a friend lol

Only with Bastard Warrior actually! Every story, I envision how I want it to end first, but with Bastard Warrior, I had thoughts of changing it because it was supposed to be enemies to lovers, yet the canon ending isn't Albus getting with Faith. So, I made 3 endings to appease everyone lol

Hope I got all of the them lol!

[deckthehaus]

Welcome to Day 2 of Deck the Haus! We have 5 fics and 1 podfic for you today. Don't forget to leave the creators some love in the form of kudos and comments! Creators, if your work was revealed today, please change your posting date to today so that your work will show up in the most recent Check Please works on AO3. AO3 explains how to change your publication date here.

Without further ado, here are today's revealed works:

*

DAY 2 REVEALS

*

to dance under sparkling lights

[Nursey/Dex - T - 4,293]

“You’re moving to Maine?” asks Chowder.

“Correction, I already moved to Maine,” Nursey admits.

----

The bell over the door jingles and Will almost drops the plate he’s clearing when he glances up to see who’s just arrived.

He quickly forces himself to look away again and finish clearing the counter. He has a job to do, after all; he can’t just stare at pretty customers all night.

*

A Whole Latke Love

[Alicia/Bob, Shitty & Jack, Jack/Bitty - NR - 5,713]

Five Chanukkah mornings of Jack and his parents making latkes over the years, plus the first time Bitty joined them.

*

Keep warm in winter

[Chowder/Nursey/Dex - T - 2091]

It's the Winter Solstice, and Chris is having a very good day. He's got two good boyfriends to help keep him warm from the cold, and a family who loves and supports him. He's got a game and then it's time to celebrate the unity of family and call for prosperity as the days lengthen.

*

Red Robe, Red Ribbon, Red Boxers

[Jack/Bitty - M - 955]

Jack and Bitty get busy on Christmas Eve.

*

Northern Attitude

[Nursey/Dex - G - 5,898]

Dex knew very little about his new next door neighbor. It had been nearly two months since he’d moved in and Dex couldn’t be sure he'd even seen him. Dex was around when he moved in, had even gone over to introduce himself but ended up being introduced to some guy who called himself “Shitty” and offered Dex a beer and a convoluted explanation as to why the new homeowner wasn't actually around on move-in day. From what Dex could gather he had some kind of artsy job that he had to travel a lot for.

But for as forthcoming as his neighbor’s friend had been, Dex had learned almost nothing else about his mysterious neighbor in the months since.

It annoyed him.

*

[Podfic] Merry Christmas, I'm Yours

[Jack/Bitty - T - 2 hours, 16 minutes]

It takes Jack only a couple months after graduation to realize he's in love with Bitty.

It takes him almost 20 years to actually do something about it.

(Or, five Christmases Jack and Bitty spend together.)

A podfic of Merry Christmas, I’m Yours written by RabbitRunnah.

[dead-salmon]

I did 100% mean to send that to you. What happened was seeing so many of Nasu and Takeuchi's decisions lined up made me realize wow, these two literally never get told no except Nasu from Sakurai every once in a blue moon. Its literally two yesmen acting like we have consulted the team on this one when the team is the two of them.

well yeah, that's practically the issue in whole. look, nasu and takeuchi singlehandedly caused type moon to exist, i'm not against them having a big influence on the directions their games and stories take. they are the creators after all.

the issue is in my opinion that they have way too much influence, specifically takeuchi

this is me going on on a tangent so apologies anon, if you want the entire rant it's under the cut

but basically tl;dr: nasu and takeuchi fail to realise that type moon is a way bigger company than just the two of them. and since no one (fans or tm members) really directly opposes their whims they get to continue doing whatever they want, even if it directly goes against their writers and fanbases wishes.

just to recall, some of the worst tm decisions were caused by what? takeuchis whims (and nasu's, but mainly takeuchi). wu zetian as a child? takeuchi wanted it. young moriarty in traum? takeuchi wanted it. summer beast eresh for anniversary, ciel for summer? takeuchi&nasu wanted it ("thought it fit better"). aesc as anniversary unit? takeuchi wanted it. lb6 summer? nasu & takeuchi wanted it. oh and if we get camazotz? well, takeuchi wants it.

the issue isn't even that they indulge in what they like, it's that they don't give a single fuck about their actual fanbase or writers goals (and why should they, they get money and praise either way most of the time).

type moon grew into quite the company, fgo is unironically one of genshins/honkais best gacha competitors despite it's outdated playstyle. however as you put it, "the team is the two of them". nasu and takeuchi seemingly forget that type moon isn't just nasu and takeuchi anymore, but many writers, developers, artists and a big fanbase alltogether

in regards to your previous ask, if anything that shows to me that nasu is a pretty happy dude. he earns a lot of money, gets admired&praised by many people, is famous in the vn scene w/o anyone knowing his real identity. he gets to do whatever he and his bestie want without too much pushback and gets to see whatever he wants to happen in fate's stories.

hell, we only got fate/samurai remnant because the guy in charge fangirled over nasu and musashi hard enough to convince nasu to let them make a game. and even then, nasu had to "lay down the groundworks" before the actual writers team could write f/sr.

-> since in nasu's mind, tm lore is at such a level that outsiders would have to make way too much research to create actual new stories. (read both of this in an interview translation, i can find them again but it'd take a bit) imo it's a little arrogant, sure tm lore is very extensive but you don't need to know every single piece of it's lore for one story. but that's just my opinion.

so in conclusion: yeah, i entirely agree with you. since they get to do whatever they want and get money for it, of course they continue doing whatever they want. gotta hand it to sakurai for trying to push back a little though. and i wonder how much longer they get to do that. type moon's biggest winning quality has always been their loyal fanbase, supporting them so much so that fgo as a gacha gets to keep up with hoyoverse gachas of all things. and said loyal fanbase seems to slowly get more frustrated too with each whimsical decision

[urnumber1star]

Writer Questionare

Thanks @leahnardo-da-veggie for the tag!

How long have you had your writing tumblr/writeblr? a fast and loose estimate is fine!

A bit more than three months I think!

What led you to create it?

I wanted to follow a specific creator. Then I started looking around Tumblr a bit more and realized people shared their writing on here and got excited. 

What’s your favourite thing about the writeblr community?

I feel like everyone is so nice and supportive. At least in my experience so far. And I love that!

What’s one thing you’d like your mutuals to know about you?

I talk a lot. You might already know that. If i'm ever a little too much i'm so sorry. I talk WAY too much sometimes.

Is there anything you’d like to see more of on your dash?

Maybe a bit more different accounts. I love you guys but my dash is kinda all the same people over and over again lmao.

Which wips or writing projects are you noodling about, lately?

Well definitely BRS as it’s my main WIP. But I had a dream about a really old WIP of mine last night so now it’s sort of just stuck in my brain.

How long have you been working on them?

I've been working on BRS for about three months! 

Do you remember what inspired them/what got you started?

Yes I do! I was listening to a song while on my bedroom floor and I got a scene idea and I wrote a story about it. 

How much time, in your best estimation, do you spend thinking about them?

I'm not sure. Maybe three or four hours?

When someone asks the dreaded, “what do you write about,” question, what do you usually say?

I usually just say it depends because that’s honestly it. Everything I write about is never remotely the same. 

Name any characters you created. side characters, protagonists, antagonists, characters who’ve never been written, the first original abomination you ever pulled from your ass; whomever you’d like!

Well the WIP from years ago I think I’ll talk about because I need to. Tari (Protag),  Leon, Fenix, Kay, Angelica, Pocky (My friend named her lol), Taylor, Victor, Lady Athesia, Nightmare Fenix. Fun fact this is the first WIP I ever wrote with an actual plot! :]

Who’s the most unhinged?

Tari. That woman has issues. 

Who comes the most naturally for you to write?

As of BRS it’s Ray. I’m not sure why but he just comes very easily to me.

Do you ever cringe at them?

Definitely. All the time.

How much control do you feel you have over your characters? do they ever “write themselves,” refuse to cooperate, or do things you didn’t expect? to what degree? are some less cooperative than others?

They control the whole story for me. I have absolutely no control over them and it's a pain. But it makes the process more fun!

What makes you want to follow another writeblr account? do you follow ‘em as you see ‘em, or take time scoping out the blog to make sure you align with its content? Do you follow based on wips, or vibes?

I definitely follow based on WIPs and vibes. I take a look at their stuff and if I like it I follow. That’s probably why I follow so many people haha.

What makes you decide against following?

Rude people. If you’re rude to people I wont waste my time following you.

Do you interact with non-mutuals often?

Sometimes. Sometimes we just forget to follow each other lol. Not very often though.

Do your mutuals’ characters occupy space in your noodle?

Yes. Many. Currently @the-ellia-west s Jak is running around my brain at the moment. 

Gently tagging @agirlandherquill, @kaylinalexanderbooks, @illarian-rambling, @mysticstarlightduck + Anyone else!

[sixthwater]

Content Creation & Consumption

Disclaimer: since it's hard to read tone over text, this should read pretty neutral. I'm passionate about the idea in general, but I want this to be seen as an informative piece? Or a thought piece. Comfort or Reassurance? It's not supposed to seem aggressive, that's the point. Anyway, I hope it's helpful in some way.

Once again, I've been sitting on these thoughts for a while and they haven't left, so I have to spit them out somewhere (and actually I did! but they're still around-), so here I am. I've seen some weird takes in regard to content creators lately, in a lot of places not just here. So I want to talk about platforms, creator-consumer relations, and the like while courage the cowardly dog plays in the background.

Creator & Consumer

One of the main issues that will be reoccurring is: seeing content creators as non-human. What I mean by that is they're sometimes viewed as content farms which is insulting and frustrating honestly. Before I continue, creators absolutely should have something to deliver for the consumer. They kinda can't just expect people to always support or donate to them without anything in return (that would be ~exploitation~). It reminds me of an artist (who I forgot please if you know who I'm talking about let me know so I can source it) who explained the process behind their album making: "Let's say the album has ten songs. I make eight for them, two for me." So it's like a present for them and self-serving for the artist. It's also a bit of knowing what the public wants and being able to balance doing what you want and "performing". However expecting them to perform and do all of their services and beyond? For free? All the time? Is kind of pushing it. They have every right to charge for their service or ask for support/donations of some kind to keep their 'business' going. They always say two things: never make your passion a full time job, or make sure you truly love what you do for your job so you don't begin to hate it. Both are true. Recent times have made this issue so grey and blurry but turning your hobby into your work is a risk because what do you turn to when you need a destresser now? It's possible to achieve a new balance but it takes a while to figure that out, which is why support and kind words are so important in the beginning.

I grew up on the internet, I have been here for a long time. I have also made loads of different stuff under different aliases while being here. I will never forget what it feels like to hear people's reaction to my creations in a viewing room. Hearing hushed reactions to my stuff. Knowing that people come back to my pieces as a source of comfort. I still remember the usernames of people who left feedback on my old content and the way they talked -- it made my day seeing a notification from them since they became 'regulars' in a way. Support does not need to be money. Knowing that I wasn't merely throwing my stuff into the void, but people were consuming it and enjoying it, someone was actively waiting for new stuff from me -- it made me motivated and excited to make more stuff on top of how much I enjoyed my hobbies. Creators aren't joking when they say it matters and they remember you.

Lately thank you's have become pretty rare and it's just become a request without a please even, barely an acknowledgment to the previous work, which is a whole other issue but I digress. Please show support to your favorite creator if you like their work, I assure you it makes their day a little better lol.

Platforms

Not to be negative but every platform sucks for creators. That's just the truth. Some have more benefits, but at the end of the day it's a business so they still have to put themselves before the creator so the website can stay up for the creator to profit off of it. Which is why it's so important for the consumer to carry some sort of weight (support) for the creator to keep shining. I shouldn't have to explain much about how Youtube has slowly gone down the drain in reference to creator preference. Most of it's creators are now relying on Patreon which is actually pathetic considering how Youtube started out. However, it's not like Patreon is a golden website for creators either. There's a reason why there are so many Ko-fi VS Patreon articles, but those two just come down to which one you prefer. I assure you they're hell of a lot better than Etsy, at least currently (it's pretty bad if the original creator makes a tweet against you). I know a lot of people usually speak to Tumblr's shitty system, but a good amount of well known artists on Twitter started off here. During the 'Twitter meltdown', a good lot of them mentioned going back to Tumblr, remember. Before the weird 'no reblogging' phase that started in 2017/2018?? Getting eyes on your stuff here was pretty easy. The only thing these sites have in common is that they're unreliable for artists or content creators, and consumers are so helpful for them. If you pay attention to intros/outros for youtubers, they've become more extensive over the years right? It's because of their algorithm. It used to just be if you liked it, subscribe. Oh likes help, give it a like. Comments now help: okay give it a like and a comment to help maybe throw me a boost into landing in their good graces? Oh you guys suddenly aren't getting notifs that's fine: Give A Like, Comment, Hit the Notif Bell, and subscribe if you like :). Literally none of the platforms are actually supportive of creators. Consumers are though, they are always the ones we're thankful for because like, you're the one reading/watching our stuff. If you didn't spread or interact with our stuff it's kind of game over for us since there's really no clear answer with these sites. However I guess if anyone ever cared about people pursuing the path that was fairly walked then the starving artist trope wouldn't be a trope then would it.

That's it. A little quick thought that's been sitting with me and if you want to add something then feel free? I like talking. Obviously lol.

[csvent-2]

@ (720256121451036672): Wow this anon opened a can of worms for me, I've always wanted to vent about this artist so here's what I know from being a past fan of them: rkzn is mostly famous for being the creator of the closed species Forget-Me-Not angels (FMN) and Calamitous Devils (CD). They used to try selling literally anything for a buck, including $50 t-shirt adoptables (yes you heard me right.). Unfortunately fluffers were one of their few CS ventures where it was made with little to no lore and abandoned fairly quickly, you could probably just make up any lore for the design you got. rkzn eventually sold co-ownership of FMN and CD, but right before the official announcement of the sale they sold an unlimited bunch of MYO slots on toyhouse stealthily using a new mule account. They then abandoned everything and moved to a twitter called "kremnk" and became quite a famous artist. I'd like to point out that they specifically asked for people to not credit old art to "kremnk", but in hindsight it felt more like they wanted to erase traces rather than keep their old and new art pieces separate. The kremnk account seems to be deleted and abandoned again though, and I think their new name and twitter is now "pzlockcms" - the style is the same.

I just don't see reason why someone would want to keep running away from their own associated name like that unless they have things to hide. Does anyone have owed commissions from them? Also, what a shitty way to treat your followers. Watching them sell the slots under a different name before the ownership change was what woke me up. I stopped being a supporter and got rid of all my FMNs, althought I have other MYOs that just cant be used now.

Mod please don't delete this ask as it's clarification + I'm sure species owner name mentions were allowed.

🌸

[captainmdhridoyhossain-blog]

[ad_1] Hey how's it going everybody um I guess I'll start the stream off by just saying that we'll be giving away that t-shirt towards the end and in order to get the shirt you'll want to comment on the episode of that Penndel engine so if you haven't done that already there's still Time to go over there and comment and then I'll pull all those via the YouTube API and we can pull the winner that way so in this live stream more than anything is what I want to show you is basically my video production process so there's quite a few steps involved in it And I think it's probably quite a bit different than most other content creators process but not a hundred percent sure on that um let's see before we get to that just add a couple things that I wanted to go over see yeah just making sure check in the chat make if Anything's off with the audio let me know but it looks like we're good um see here so yeah but all the stickers we gave out on the live stream those went out they went out this weekend it was a federal holiday here on Monday so if you're if you're in the United States They should probably still get to you this week and then if you're international it kind of depends on the postal service but they're yeah I imagine you should have them probably sometime next week would be my guess let's see here and see other than that I think I mentioned this last time but When I'm working on a chat feature for the ionic course so that would be an extended module on that course so you'll get another it'll probably be roughly 10 to 20 videos added with a whole nother whole nother feature module with a bunch of new stuff in it and then that's That's underway I would say probably about maybe hopefully sometime next week but I can't can't really say for sure at this point alright cool so yeah I'll first just get into well there's a couple good questions and I'll go ahead and answer first before I forget first One is from Henry and he's asking let's see where do you find your inspiration and for inspiration I generally find most of it from our slack channel because I'm constantly getting just a steady flow of ideas from people and you know people have different requirements different problems that they run into That really help me come up with ideas so you know I very much value those suggestions and try to put them into the end product that you see on the channel but aside from that like other things happen in the web development community that give me inspiration as well like The edge browser just recently announced support for web components so now what broad you get time to start doing some web component content let's see here so interested in how does that production versus post production look you'll kind of see that once we get into the video But yeah trying to go okay to your coffee spaces or tabs generally coffee in the morning and then tea tea in the afternoon and then when I'm writing code I usually use tabs because it's a little bit faster now I just have my BS code reformat it two spaces because spaces Are generally better for sharing code between between people okay cool so I'm gonna go a flame link video yeah flame links a really cool product it's like a it's kind of like if you had a content full service like a content as a service API but instead you host the database Through firebase which is a much more efficient way to go and you can almost you could actually build a content management system yourself using firebase you could use real time DB or firestore and that's actually what I'm doing myself for this upcoming fire ship product so if you guys are interested I Can kind of show you how to build your own content management system using firebase from scratch which is and I think a pretty cool project but we can maybe talk about that one later let's see so I'm gonna go ahead and switch over to a screen share and then We'll start looking at the actual video stuff and okay so I just wanna make sure

that looks good on your end what I'm actually looking at here is the very first video that I ever produced and I just I'm just kind of curious to look at It because that's this is going about a hundred and forty episodes in the past back in April 2017 and you can see here I'm not even using vsk at this point I was still using the atom text editor which I'd really liked from prior development when it first came out it Was an awesome idea but BS codes like just completely surpassed it and features but the video really is kind of not very good I mean it's two minutes long and it's does some good things that I like but overall it's you know not a great video and so I think with video Production it really is something that you start out not being very good at and then you just learn small things along the way and slowly make the you know the video content that you're making better with each video that you produce so that's you know definitely an important Concept to keep in mind so starting with the process I usually the first thing I do is I come up with an idea and like I said I get those ideas maybe from slack or from just the web development community community in general this is so for everyone on the live stream There's kind of a preview of the next video that's coming out tomorrow and I have all new graphics for the for the video itself so you'll start seeing these different I kind of cover styles on the video so usually I you know start thinking about how I want to present the Content so I might put together some graphics that look like this and then the primary amount of the work is actually writing the code so I spend a lot more time writing the actual code that goes into a demo than I do and producing the video and so we'll go Ahead and start there and the one thing you'll notice in my videos is that I have a different style of showing code then you probably see on any other channel I've never seen it anywhere else but and instead of like typing everything keystroke by keystroke I do it in a faster way that's a little more efficient for me to produce and a little more efficient for me - voiceover the code when I'm producing the video and the way I do that's actually really simple so like imagine I have this code Block here I can delete things just line by line and reverse in the way that I want to show it so I'll delete all this stuff and then from that point everything's copied to the clipboard so I can just do you controlled see and then have everything reappear on the Screen I don't like magic like it's a really simple thing but a lot of people have asked me how do I do this and it's yeah it's really that simple so what I do is like right now I'm on Windows but I have a Linux machine Installed side by side on the system and so I'll write all the code in Linux and I'll record all the code screencast over there and then I'll upload those to Google Drive and the next step is to import all that footage into Adobe Premiere so what you're looking at here Is Adobe Premiere and this is kind of like a just a quick preview of tomorrow's video one thing I started doing is I'm trying to like make the intros a little more interesting instead of just showing the same intro every video I have a different background and Then embed the the intro video content like somewhere in that image and so we can actually split these layers apart and you'll see that the intros right there and then we have the actual image with a mask over it so it's transparent transparent on the screen and then you Can kind of layer things together to make the video footage a little more interesting and I'm let's see here so the overall process of making a video in my case is after I have all the footage shot I'm going to go in here and do the voiceover I pretty much sentence-by-sentence at This point in the channel like I really try to refine the voice-over content to be pretty like consistent and clear throughout the video and so

you can see here I've like sliced different pieces of voice content and we're just kind of going through the video in a linear way Um and oh and to give you another preview of what's coming out tomorrow is I have another shirt giveaway for that video so and that's kind of an early preview of what you'll see tomorrow um let's see another thing that I think is really important is having good audio so You like definitely want to have really solid audio for the intro and the outro but one thing I learned is you probably don't want the audio going through the whole video because it is kind of annoying for some people and I've noticed when I listen to videos that Have constant audio it does get a little annoying but you should definitely spend a lot of time if you're making video content you know figuring out the best audio to use see I'm gonna take a break and just check out the chat here really quick to see if there's some questions I Can grab and let's see if iris any hope of that will see any videos for flutter there is definitely hope I don't have a timeline for flutter yet but I've done quite a bit of development with flutter and would feel comfortable producing videos at this point but I've just got a Little too much on my plate probably for the next month but before I can really focus on creating flutter content um see my how to connect my sequel PHP with angular 6 that's that's probably topic you'll never see is my sequel PHP on this channel and today come with the Graphs myself that's a good question because um another thing with video production is like this graphic you're seen here on the intro is a highly customized version of an event template and so if you're looking for good templates for your video content that kind of the go-to place for pretty much Everybody is videohive I actually have this pulled up right here because you'll find all kinds of like pre-built transitions and intros and like logo stings and stuff like that but you can kind of use as a starting place for producing your video content and a lot of these like the actual Creators are people working in Hollywood that are doing these you know big-budget films that didn't go and resell their work to be reaped like reused in the secondary market like this you know in a lot of cases there's been thousands of hours of effort from real video professionals going into them so you Know to spend a hundred bucks on some pre-built stuff is usually well worth the investment let's see here and let's see can you try something on web scraping web scripting is a good topic I've considered doing that with puppeteer specifically puppeteers a little bit slower for web scraping but a Nice benefit of it is that you can scrape JavaScript sites so you can like scrape content on an angular app by just waiting for it to render all the content which Mike do I use I used this really crappy mic just an audio technica USB mic i've been thinking about upgrading For quite a while and i think i've started to notice some like technical issues with this mic so I'll probably be upgrading that pretty soon for OK for a screen capturing I use a really simple program called simple screen recorder on Linux I'm using Ubuntu version 18 Version 18 point o4 C do you write a script or do you just look over what you've done and try to explain it so when I first started the channel I wrote a script and I would write all the content in advance and try to just read Over that script it turns out that in my opinion is not a very good way to do do things so what I generally do is try to write like an outline for an article and make make that blog post article first and then do the voiceover in a linear way Like I was showing you an Adobe Premiere based on how I think the video should flow as I'm doing it so I don't I don't know if you can hear the sound here but so I'm not sure if you guys could hear that sound in Premiere but I basically Go through the video step by step and

kind of go back and re-listen the things and try to make it as refined as possible and I don't think you can really do that in a efficient way by writing a script I mean especially I mean it's definitely possible but you Need a lot of work a lot of extra work that I think would just be an efficient and the other program I use is Adobe After Effects so After Effects is a program that you would use more for one-off one-off graphics so like say I Want to show a logo intro I have this pixel storm animation and I can just export this single scene and then bring it into premiere for the you know entire video process so this is a super useful program as well these are kind of I'm generally going back and forth between The two of these depending on how many animations I have in a given video and let's see I'm trying to think of what else I can show you here on the video side of things that I don't know hopefully that give you a general idea of the overall process that I go through Let's see yeah just going back to the comments here to see what I can grab out of here and do I actually contribute to angular I don't really contribute to angular I contribute to the firebase JavaScript SDK and also angular fire too but I think I've made like one commit to Angular and that's about it and at this point I'd like I would like to contribute to open source projects more but I find that I just generally don't have the time to like go in and you know do bug fixes and stuff like that on on these huge open source projects like you Know angular's its massive mono repo so you have quite a bit of setup to even like get started contributing let's see some videos about react native react native is something I might consider covering in the future I think it does offer some advantages over other like hybrid app frameworks but right now It's not a super high priority or anything like that how do you prepare yourself for a subject the best way to prepare for a subject is to already have built something roughly related to it like in a lot of cases I've already built certain features for clients and I Can draw from that experience because I know like what problems are gonna run into and what issues you're gonna find and just try to really format that into something that's useful that a developer can use to get past these problems quicker and did you buy Adobe yeah so I Pay like 50 bucks a month for access to Adobe Creative Cloud I'll get you access to pretty much everything you need so if you're producing a lot of videos that's you know just a minor expense okay cool so yeah I'm just going through the comments Here guys how do you get out of your angular comfort zone I'm afraid to use other frameworks that's a really good question I think in development in general you should usually try to be a more general developer like you want to be a JavaScript you know call yourself a JavaScript developer rather than an angular developer and you know it's good to have some specialties but you definitely want to be like have those general skills under your belt so you should know how things work with JavaScript kind of at a more fundamental level because once you know that it Becomes really easy to just jump from angular to react to view because you know what the underlying JavaScript is doing rather than like just trying to work with them constraints of a framework and typically also on that same note like if you're looking for a job they're gonna Generally be asking you to code things in vanilla JavaScript like algorithms and basic programming stuff so if you're you know on the job market you're gonna want to be a you know well brushed up on that type of code and what is the screen resolution so screen resolution is I Record the videos in 1080p VP so HD but then I export all the animations in 4k so I have the videos are all videos are all done in 4k that's the final export and let's see education background so I actually have a business degree in finance I had originally thought I

Wanted to be an accountant and then I decided that programming was a lot more fun and essentially just became a self-taught programmer at that point got a job doing like PHP my sequel stuff and then did a lot of Ruby on Rails for a number of years and now really focused On mostly full stack JavaScript all right so I'm gonna go ahead and I think that's enough questions for now I think now it's time we should go ahead and give away the t-shirt and if I wasn't able to get to your question leave me like a comment or leave the question on Slack because a lot of these I could answer in a future livestream but let's go ahead and pull up our script and we'll give away this free t-shirt let's see here this is the script we've looked at it before it's taking this video ID pulling all the comments from the YouTube API And then it will pick a single winner from that group alright so all I have to do is click this button and then that will give us our t-shirt winner so here we go all right Samuel Camargo you were index 31 out of 125 comments keep up the Good work excellent content thank you for the comment really appreciate it and congratulations on winning the t-shirt so you get the shirt if you're on slack send me a message on slack with your address in sighs otherwise send me a direct message via email or whatever Works for you all right so I'm gonna go ahead and stop screen sharing here oh if a person comments multiple times there they're actually they are we check for uniqueness so let me see if I can get to this in the code yeah that's something that I thought of if if multiple people Comment then they should only be only have had the same chance to win as everybody else so I use this unique bye function do you check their channel ID value and that will just make sure that every person that comment it has to have a unique Google account all right so I Guess I'm gonna go ahead and wrap up the stream here like I said if you have more questions I'll try to get to these next time but this is fun and there's gonna be another t-shirt giveaway on the next video so make sure to check that out and Leave a comment we'll do the same thing next week all right thanks a lot everybody and I'll talk to you soon see ya you [ad_2] #Scenes #Videos For More Interesting Article Visit : https://mycyberbase.com/

[randominagines]

I love hook and wish hook with all my soul. Could I have some Detective Rogers (or Killian if you prefer) with his love, who is having a hard time in quarantine and has anxiety 🥺 Thank u <33

Thanks for the request, finally some Killian stuff!😭🥰 P.s. I totally understand you, love, Hook is my weaknesses too.

Pairing: Killian Jones X neutral reader

Warning: angst, fluff and slightly smut

GIFs belong to their creators.

BEING QUARANTINED WITH KILLIAN WOULD INCLUDE:

Killian was initially the one who actually couldn't bear the idea of a quarantine at all;

He's a free spirit after all, a pirate who travelled for all his life, so he feels trapped;

He tends to wake up very early and he's not able to go back to sleep;

You usually hear him;

"Baby, you can't sleep again, uhm?"

"No, love, but I don't want to bother you. It's very early, go back to sleep."

He kindly caresses your head while hugging you;

He makes sure you go back to sleep so you can have some rest;

He looks at you and caresses you all the time, he feels lucky to have you;

After a couple of days, he starts to appreciate the quarantine;

He can finally spend time with you and enjoy your company;

He cooks for you a lot, he loves spoiling you;

You and him spend the evenings watching TV;

"Wait, what's the difference between a TV show and a movie again? I keep forgetting."

You laugh while cuddling with him;

One day, he notices that you are not feeling exactly okay;

He immediately asks you;

"Love, is something wrong?";

You explain that you have anxiety and finally confess that quarantine is slowly accentuating that for you;

He is so sorry to hear that;

"Love, why didn't you tell me before? I'm always here by your side"

You explain that you didn't want to make things harder for him since you know how much he hates the idea of being forced to stay at home;

He reassures you and tells you that you're not alone;

You have bad days and good days;

During the good days you fool around together;

You cook together and you teach him new recipes;

He tells you stories about his pirate life;

He trains you and teaches you how to use a sword;

"I could be a pirate, don't you think?"

"Love, you would be a hell of a pirate. Also, the sexier pirate ever."

You provoke him a lot and there's a lot of quarantine sex;

You practically have sex everywhere: shower, kitchen table, couch, floor, bed;

He looks at you with love and devotion, you drive him crazy;

During the bad days, you just feel lost;

He makes sure you can have your space and time when you need it;

He is very thoughtful and always tries to make you feel better;

"Do you want to take a nap together? I can cuddle you."

"Yes, cuddling sounds great."

He holds you in his arms and tries to help you calm down;

He tells you stories, his calm voice making you feel better;

He patiently waits for you to fall asleep, he knows how hard it is for you;

He feels powerless sometimes, he wishes he could do more for you;

You start to feel a little better with all of his support;

You are so grateful for his patience;

"I'm sorry for this, I'm doing my best. I just wanted to thank you for always being by my side, Killian."

"Love, don't even say it. I love you and I want to be next to you. Your happiness is my happiness."

When he goes out once in a while to go grocery shopping he always makes sure to buy the snacks you love;

He also brings you flowers to always make you feel loved and appreciated;

When the news about the end of the quarantine is finally announced, he's the one who tells you that;

"My love, wake up, I have a beautiful news."

You are the happiest when he tells you and you hug him while silently crying, you can't wait to go out;

He holds you tight while his heart explodes with joy, he loves seeing you like that;

The first day of freedom is live heaven for the both of you;

He immediately takes you to the Jolly Roger and you two decide to leave for an adventure travel together;

"Are you sure, Love?"

"We have been trapped for months, I want to see how your pirate life was and I couldn't be more excited to do this with the person I love the most."

He crushes his lips against yours, his heart filled with happiness while he realizes that he will share the adventure with you, the love of his life;

[ramp-it-up]

Scene Stealer

Pairing: Rafael Casal x Reader

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: Minors DNI, a little angst, some language, a smidge of jealousy, but mostly just fluff! No smut! 😃 All errors my own.

A/N: This an ask from @wreakhavoconmacroissantdiggs for the Show Runner AU.  I really love these two. Hope you enjoy, Loves! 💚

Read the previous part, Sundancer .

Hi lovely! Idk if your still doing requests right now? If you are can I have a fluffy/soft-ish moment between Rafa and reader? In the Showrunner AU and reader is actively filming a scene and Rafa's being difficult, lol

Your relationship was the talk of the town, especially since you accompanied Rafael on the red carpet of his latest win; it also happened to be your first nomination.

Ever since you went public, you were content with being ‘partners.’ You, especially, said there was no need for anything more. You didn’t want to tie Rafael to you, because you didn’t own him. 

Art was the most important thing, not a conflict diamond and a piece of paper.

Rafael quickly agreed. After all, it had been his manifesto. You two had a perfect understanding. Until you got this role. 

This gig required you to dance, and you hadn’t used your classical training in a while. You were nervous as hell.

“Who does music videos with this big a budget any more?”

You just rolled your eyes as Rafa as he delivered the shade. He would never outright say that he didn’t want you to do it; he always supported you, but you could tell it bothered him.

There was a slight tension in the air in the days leading up to filming, but you both pretended nothing was up. You were busy with rehearsal, so you brushed the thoughts of this shift in your relationship aside.

Maybe he was a little tight because you told him that the singer could definitely get it during a cast party before you two were a thing. Except in Rafael’s mind. 

Rafa had taken mental notes on everything about you, and this one he didn’t forget. But, he loved you, and he was going to ride for you.  Right?

----------------

On the day of the shoot, Rafa pulled up to the studio at about 1:30. He agreed to meet you there when you invited him for moral support.  You’d been there since 11 am.

He shook his head to himself as he was shown to your dressing room, lamenting the fact that he didn’t bring Diggs, because he would be the one needing moral support today.

Rafael knocked on the door and heard you say, "Come in!"

He walked in and saw you in a big, poofy, but short wedding dress. A more elaborate ballet tutu, but still definitely a wedding dress. Rafael was thrown for a loop, so he just stood there, taking you in.  He felt like he was breaking a rule, looking at you in this dress.

You looked absolutely amazing.

The make up artist was working on you, but you turned around and grinned when you saw him in the mirror.

Rafa felt like he needed to sit down. 

"What do you think?"

Rafael actually couldn't think. He looked down and noticed that you had your pointe shoes on. They matched your skin tone perfectly and extended your lovely legs. 

He began to feel warm, a heat which began in his chest and radiated throughout his entire torso. But he was a thug.  He tried to express it.

"You look beautiful...." 

His throat was dry. What the fuck was wrong with him?

To you, Rafa looked a bit like a fish, his mouth opening and closing with no sound coming out.

"What?" You cocked your head at him.

Rafa recovered and moved toward you. ‘Keep your cool,’ he thought.

You  shrugged at him, turned back around to the mirror, and continued. 

"I would never actually wear anything like this. It's too poofy and big. Too princess-y. Not my style." You grimaced.

"You look beautiful." It finally came out.

Rafael smiled, feeling an overwhelming desire to kiss you. The makeup artist exited and Rafa was left staring at you in the mirror again. You were a vision. 

He cleared his throat, deciding to lighten the mood.

"Can I climb under that dress and do what I want to do?"

You threw your head back and laughed. Once again, Rafael was caught in your spell.

"I'm working babe, but we can arrange something later..."

‘Whatever you say, my love,’ Rafael thought. 

But what he said was, "Cool."

--------

When filming started, Rafael stood out of the way behind the camera to watch. It was a church scene and apparently what you had to do was dance down the aisle to the altar for the wedding scene.

You were lowkey checking for Rafa, and everytime you looked over, he was glowering at you, the set up, or back seat directing. You could read him like a book, and he was not amused or positive about this.

That only made you more tense and out of the zone. You began to regret inviting him.  What was his problem? Was he jealous? He was being an ass, and you were going to tell him about himself later.

You ignored him as you stretched to get ready for another take. You were not going to let him ruin this for you.

---------

Rafael saw you and melted. He watched, mesmerized, as you danced toward the star of the video. Rafael’s heart clenched when you reached them and kissed them lightly on the lips. 

It happened at least six times for the different takes and angles, and Rafa had visions of dragging you away from there, but he remained calm.

Rafael had no idea that his emotions were so loud. All pretense, all acting skills, all professionalism went out of the window the moment he saw you in that wedding dress.  

He just did not think this production was up to the standard of you. And he caught on to the interactions between you and the star of the video between takes. It was not cool

You  ran through a couple more takes and finally it was time for the last scene, the love scene.

You were whisked back into your dressing room for a wardrobe change. Rafa paced up and down in the hallway to calm himself down. After a few minutes he thought it worked.

Until you came back out.

You were in the sexiest black nightgown he'd ever seen. And those heels. You looked hot as fuck. But when he looked into your eyes, it was clear that you were terrified. 

"Rafa, I don't think I can do this. I'm not feeling it…” Nerves were getting to you. 

“They are sooo not like I thought they were. They're kind of…. There’s no chemistry. And I’m a hack actor if I can’t do this…”  You bowed your head, ashamed.

Rafa hooked his fingers under your chin and brought your head up. He looked at you sternly. He was angry. But not at you.

“Energy up. Expectations down.” 

You tried to respond with a brave smile, but you were really about to burst into tears. Rafael grabbed your hand and pulled you back into your dressing room. He made sure to lock the door.

You thought you knew what he wanted.

“Rafa, we don’t have time for that, I…”

“C’mere.”  

Rafael hushed you and grabbed your hand, pulling you into his embrace. His large hand was on your lower back, and he held your other to his chest, beginning a slow dance to music only he could hear.  

You looked up at him quizzically and raised your eyebrow.

“Rafa, what…”

“I know that we talked about not seeing the need for marriage in this crazy world, and that we are married to our art, but take a little mind excursion with me…”

You fell into rhythm with him as he began to whisper-sing “Hideaway.” 

…See you’ve had the wrong plan

been sipping the wrong wine

Ay ay… let me put you on my vibe.

“Imagine we’re dancing at our wedding…”

You snapped your head up and looked in his emerald eyes. They twinkled down at you.

“I said, ‘imagine.’ This is just an exercise.”

“I would write a new song just for you and sing it while we’re dancing and get you wet for me but make you wait until after we party all night with our friends to get some.”

He smiled down at you and you were with it, getting into the fantasy. You swayed with him a little longer and smiled back up at him. Rafael’s stomach flipped.

So of course he twirled you away from him and back into his arms. His hand moved down your back to your ass.

“Seeing you in this would be the perfect wedding present. Imagine me waiting on you, not wanting to wait any more to touch you, taste you. Make you a mama.”

You stopped and stared at Rafael.

“….That’s quite the imagination you have there…”

Rafa stared back at you. “I am a creator. I create wild musings.” He turned you around to face the mirror. 

“Use it.” 

He put his hands in your satin covered hips. 

“Pretend you’re a woman who would want that. Marriage. A husband who would cherish you and try to make you happy.” 

Rafael bent down to hug you from behind, pressing his cheek aside yours.

You gazed at your reflections in the mirror. In that moment at least, you were that woman.

Rafael kissed your neck. You closed your eyes and you felt it before you opened them, but when you did, he had stepped away.

“Now go out there and pretend that person is what that woman wants.” Rafael looked at you in that way one more time before he cleared his throat and looked down.

You straightened up and walked toward the door. 

“Thanks for the fantasy, Cash.” You looked back at him.

Rafa winked at you. “Anytime.”

——-

Three hours later, after you’d killed the scene and production had wrapped, Rafa waited for you in the parking lot, smoking and dialing Diggs on the phone.

“Whattup. D. I need you to talk me out of buying a rock.”

--------

Tag List:

@braidedchallah @theatrenerd86 @sebastianabucknettastan @imatyoursurrvicesurr @riiyy @lonelydance @jbrizzywrites @honeysucklechocolatedrippin @anh1020 @sillyteecup @ohsoverykeri @theselilwonders @biafbunny @summerofsnowflakes @honeysucklechocolatedrippin @wreakhavoconmacroissantdiggs @janthonybitch

[straykidsworldwild]

Duskwood

Phil Hawkins x MC

Part 3 : MC calls Phil. The next night, as she was going to the bar, someone crosses her path which unpleases her. She rushes to the Aurora and that's where another chapter of her life begins.

Warning : little swearing 🙈

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Heyy guys!! How are you? 😁 So sorry this part took so long to be published. Pardon me. Hope you'll like it! 😁

(I don't own the pics, I just made the collage. Credit goes to the creators of Duskwood and owners of the pics.)

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I take a deep breath in and out as I do a messy bun. I feel like I am getting ready for a marathon. My heart is already beating stronger and faster than normal and I haven't pressed the calling button yet. It's crazy how he makes me feel even when he isn't here, next to me… Just a thought of him and it makes my heart racing. I wonder how he feels when I'm close to him, talking to him, or just when someone mentions me. Does he even think about me sometimes? I know Phil is pretty confident about himself but that doesn't mean he cannot feel nervous, right? Anyway... I have a call to make. Alright, one last deep breath in and out and… Oh, you're such an idiot, MC… I'm so nervous that I'm calling the Aurora instead of his phone… I hope he is still at his bar.

- "Hello?" I hear Phil's voice echoing right after he answered. At least I know he is still there... His voice is so restful and deep. I smile just by this simple note coming from his voice.

- "Hi, I'd like to talk with Mr. Aurora", I answered the man, sounding playful as I let a small chuckle out.

- "MC" calls me, Phil, chuckling back. Oh God... You're not allowed to do that! My smile grows as I can picture him just by hearing him chuckling. It's so contagious... "Wait, before you say anything, I'm so sorry about..." He suddenly tells me which surprised me. He spoke so fast...

- "Phil, I'm not upset or mad or anything. Don't worry. It wouldn't be right of me to be upset with you anyway.", I immediately reply to the man, interrupting him. I do not want him to feel guilty or awkward about what happened. There's no need for that...

- "Why not? That girl literally shamed you and flirted with me in front of you." He tells me back, sounding confused as to why I am not angry. I mean… I guess there's reason to be upset but not angry. But are they worth being said out loud right now? I'm not sure...

- "Well, one, you're free to have whatever kind of relationship you want. I don't have a word to say about that. And two, we're not together so I don't see why it should matter." I answer to Jessy's brother which didn't sound that harsh in my head. I close my eyes and hit my face with my hand. Why did I say that? He's going to think I am not in for something with him or that I might have moved on from trying something with him. But then, do I want something with him? Am I ready to be in a relationship with Phil despite the kind of man he is? I mean, he can change… Right? Well, he already changed, right? For a moment, a dead silence takes place in the phone call. "Are you still there?" I ask Phil, my voice sounding faint compared to before.

- "Yeah, yeah... I was just deep in thoughts." He responds to me, sounding… Hurt? Disappointed? Maybe both... I couldn't tell. I let a quiet sigh out as I feel my heart beating so strongly down my chest. I need to know… Even if it scares me, even if it might not pleasure me to hear what he is going to say, I need to know.

- "Can I ask you something?" I gently demand to the boy.

- "Of course, Gorgeous" he answers softly. And the deepness of his voice is just so amazing to hear...

- "Are you being serious about... I mean... Are you really trying to... Do you really…" I sigh again but louder this time. How is he supposed to understand what I want to ask him if I can't put three words in a row? "I'm sorry, I don't know how to formulate my question." I tell him as I lightly shake my head. I'm such an idiot...

- "You want to know if I am playing with you or not?" He tells me as if he just read my thoughts. Oh... Am I this obvious?

- "Yeah. It's just... I'm having a hard time to believe that you actually want something with me. I mean... It's just easier to think that you want something from me than with me. Especially when I see the kind of girls you liked before…" I confess to the boy, telling him my worries all while hoping it doesn't make him step away from me. I don't want to lose him because I worry to much or don't open easily to him... I just need time.

- "I never said I liked them, MC." He calmly answers before hearing him blowing some smoke.

- "But you must have felt something for them, otherwise, you wouldn't have wanted a night with them." I reply to him with an unsure tone.

- "It was just physical attraction, nothing more. It's different from you. With you, it's not just the attraction, it's... It's the spark that I don't have with the others." He tells me sincerely and seriously, always sounding so calm but so sincere at the same time. I hum as I look down. I want to believe him… And maybe I do actually. But there's always this lack of confidence in me that brings me to my rational side. "I told you, MC, and I'll say it again. I love you. Now, I know what you think about me and I know what people say about me. But I don't care. And I care even less of those chicks. I only care about you." He admits to me with the same tone as before, sounding lightly desperate for me to believe him. I care about you too, Phil… More than you think, more than I certainly should. I stay quiet as I meditate on everything happening right now. There is a lot to think about. Suddenly, I hear a light sigh coming from Phil. "MC, do you trust me?" He suddenly asks me. Oh… Well...

- "Of course, Phil." I answer instantly, nodding positively even though he doesn't see me.

- "Then trust me when I say that I'll be ready to change things from me to be with you." He confesses seriously before blowing some smoke again. Change… But I don't want him to change...

- "I don't want you to change anything from you. I just... I'm just not confident enough." I tell and confess to the boy, admit my lack of confidence to him. It actually feels weird… Why am I telling him that?

- "If you let me, I'll prove to you that I really love you and that I'm not trying to play around with you. But I'll only do it if you want me to give you that proof. I'll never force you to do anything. It's your call." He says seriously and sincerely, letting me all the cards in my hands. It's my call… I smile, unable to stop it. Why do I smile in a moment like this one? How can he make me smile in a conversation like this one?

- "You're charming." I tell him which makes the boy chuckle. "I didn't give you your hug." I recall, sounding like I am kind of excusing myself to him.

- "I know. It broke my little heart." He says jokingly even though I could hear he was serious in a way. I giggle at his answer despite being sorry. "Maybe you could give it to me tomorrow night, Gorgeous." He suggests before a small pause takes place in the conversation. "Huh, you're coming to Jessy's birthday tomorrow night, right?" He asks me with an unsure tone.

- "Yes, why wouldn't I?" I demand him back, sounding confused.

- “When are your uncle's funerals?” he questions me, ignoring my questions. The funerals…? Why is he asking about that?

- “Huh... Tomorrow morning.” I begin to answer when something just comes up in my mind. Of course... “Oh, I get it. You think I shouldn't go or I wouldn't want to go to the party?” I tell him, sounding like I have just read his mind this time.

- “Well, I just thought you would have preferred to be alone, maybe? That you wouldn't be in the mood for a party.” He responds so gently and so calmly, clearly caring about my emotions. I could hear how much he cares for me just by the sound of his voice. It’s crazy…!

- “Well, I will certainly be down but, I'd rather be with my friends than alone at home, especially in a time like this one. It's not…” I let a small sigh out. “It’s not good to stay alone. And my uncle wouldn't want me to stay by myself anyway, so…” I reply to the man I have been having a crush on for so long. The pain was heard in my voice.

- “Well, you can call or send me a message if you need to talk, okay? Anytime. I'll be there for you, MC.” He answers sincerely and seriously, showing me his support.

- “Thanks, Phil. That means a lot.” I tell sincerely to the boy, cracking a smile. That warmed my heart.

- “I'm sorry but I'm going to have to hang up, Gorgeous. I need to do the closing.” He says with a disappointed tone towards himself because he needs to hang up. Oh already...

- “Sure, no problem. I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight.” I tell him as I smile like an idiot. Again... Thank God he cannot see me...

- “See you, Gorgeous. Goodnight.” He wishes me back, letting a soft chuckle out. Oh… I keep a smile over my face and hang up. Why did I fall for an idiot like him?

~ Next day, morning ~

Next morning, I wake up and do my little ritual before getting ready. I out on a black dress with black heels but don't bother putting on the small amount of make up I usually wear. It's not necessary, I will ruin it with my cries anyway... Mom is waiting for me at her home. I told her I would pick her up before going to the funeral. I know mom is strong but I’m not sure she’ll be able to drive after the funeral. And to be fair, I’m not sure I will be able myself, but I’ll try… I have to be there for her, firstly, then myself.

~ A few hours later ~

I feel so strange. I feel like a piece of me was ripped and is missing, but at the same time, I feel relieved. I mean… I feel like my uncle is finally resting in peace and I can try to move on, live my life like he would want me to do. Though, I just can’t stop thinking about him… I want to turn the page but I'm also scared to forget him at the same time which isn't a good match. When I saw the white flowers set for my uncle's funeral, I was just so happy. They looked amazing. I just wished I could have bought those flowers for another and more joyful reason though... Anyway, maybe Phil was right to worry if I would come or not to Jessy’s birthday party tonight. I really don’t feel in the mood right now… And certainly not later either…

After dropping my mother at her home, I stayed for a moment with her. I just needed to make sure she'll be okay. And I also needed to be with my mom. I needed my mom. Anyway, I am finally on my way back home as Jessy won’t be long now. I park my car and walk up toward my little apartment. Oh… I’ve got a message.

- “Hey, MC, I’m sorry but I have to go help Cleo with something so I don’t think I’ll be able to make it in time at your home. Can we meet up at the Aurora, instead?” I read her text message which was sent an hour and a little more ago. I completely forgot to pour the sound back on so I didn't hear any of the notifications I received. "I keep my phone close to me though. So if you need to talk, I'll be there." I read her second message. A small smile comes over my lips.

- “Of course, Jessy, no problem. I’ll see you there.” I simply respond to her message as I don’t want to bother my mind right now. I don't want to talk. I guess I’ll get the chance to rest a bit before going to the party. Maybe I’ll be a little more motivated to go there after…

A few hours later, I am on my way to the Aurora to go meet up with the others. Well, I'll probably be the first one since I always come early. There’s a part of me wishing I could actually be home, lying on my sofa in front of the TV, and do nothing, and the other part is telling me, “is Phil alone right now? Will I have a heart to heart moment with him?”. Yes… I think… Yeah, I think I want to tell him that I want to give him a chance if he is really willing to have something serious. I don’t know if it is the right thing to do or not but, I need to… Live. I need to try new things. I need to challenge myself. Telling my emotions to him, how I feel about him, it’s something new. It’s just so hard to talk about how I feel most of the time. Especially saying my feelings to the boy I have a crush on since… A while now.

The streets are enveloped by the darkness of the night, but the streetlights bring some light to them. Thankfully, it's a calm night without any rain pouring down.

- “Hey!!” I hear a familiar voice screaming in my back. Not so calm now... Though the voice sounded… Off. It was a man for sure, but the person didn’t sound very "fine". He talked quite slower than a normal person would do normally and he half chew over his words. Is he drunk? I continue my way, ignoring the man. That's the best thing to do... “Hey, MC, is that you?” What? Who...? I turn quickly around to just give a glance at the person, but I don’t stop walking. Oh… My boss…? What is he doing here? “Whatever. Why don’t you come see your favorite boss, Baby Girl? You could be surprised by me.” He says in a drunk way as he points at me with a bottle. Oh… Huh… I didn't see it before. Hell no! I clear my throat, feeling uncomfortable and scared. I…

Without thinking further, I start to run away from him as I know the Aurora isn’t far from here now. It’s just a couple street corners away… I run as fast as I can, hoping to lose him. Which some chances, he is too drunk to actually run after me. Well, he did still seemed a little bit himself despite the alcohol... There! I can see the colorful light from the bar lightening the street. Please, be there.... Alone or with someone, I don’t care…. Just be there. I rush inside the Aurora and immediately close the door behind me before sticking my back against the door. I thought I was going to make a fool out of myself in front of people, but it’s empty… Though, Phil is standing behind the counter, cleaning some glasses. Breathless, I quickly lock the door and step away from it as I walk backward towards the counter.

- “Gorg…” I hear Phil calling me with his lovely voice. Though, it was quick to faint. “Did you just close my bar?” He asks me with a confused tone as he points at the door. I look up at him, fear flashing over my face. Wow, I didn’t think I was this scared actually... “MC, what's wrong?” He asks me right away with concern while walking around the counter to join my sides.

- “Phil, he's following me.” I tell him rapidly and out of breath as I walk towards him to meet him midway. Wow, I… I didn’t even control myself. It’s like my body just talked for myself, walked over to him, needing to feel this protecting feeling.

- “Wow, calm down. What are you talking about? Who's follow you?” He says calmly and seriously as his hands come grabbing my shoulders. Oh… I stare into his eyes, reading the calmness in them. Though, I can read the concern in them. Suddenly, there’s a loud thud coming from outside which made me jump and gasp, breaking eye contact with Phil. I turned around and found my boss standing outside, still holding his bottle in one hand. He managed to get here without falling? Oh God... Seriously?!

- “MC, bring your sweet little ass outside before I fire you!” I hear him yelling in the middle of the street which made me take a step back. Even with a wall and a locked door separating us, he still scares me. Phil grabs my wrist as he takes a step forward, shielding my body with his.

- “He's drunk and clearly worse than when he's sober…” I inform to the man as we notice that my boss is trying to get inside Phil’s bar. Please, don't break anything here... “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring him to your bar but…” I rapidly apologize to Phil, shaking my head negatively as I dance on my feet. I shouldn't have come here...

- “Hey, it's okay. I'm glad you actually found your way here." He tells me reassuringly and so calmly. "Stay here. It's okay.” He tells me with the same comforting tone while motioning me to not move. Huh… What is he doing? Phil goes to the front door, looking so upset. He unlocks it and opens it before stepping outside. Though, he makes sure to close it back behind him. “What can I do for you, sir?” I hear him asking seriously to the drunk man. It’s faint, but I can still hear their voices.

- “You?” Says, my boss, while rudely pointing at Phil with the bottle and frowning confused. “You work here?” He tells him with surprise as if Phil wouldn't be able or wouldn't be smart enough to work here.

- “I even own the place.” answers, Phil, crossing his arms over his chest.

- “Right... Look, I'm not goin' to bother you 'ny longer. Just tell me where the little wh**e is?” Then asks, my drunk boss, half screaming in the middle of street. I'm actually pretty sure he doesn't notice that he talks so loudly. Wow... He definitely doesn't know what pet names are...

- “Excuse me?” Questions, Phil, sounding very unpleased and like he heard him wrong. Though, I can tell that it is making his blood boiling.

- “Don't play dumb, boy. Where's she? She and I nee' to talk. If you know what I mean.” I hear my boss saying before he smirks, looking hungry for… Ugh! He’s such a pig! Knowing the thought he must have with me, I grimace with disgust. “She seems like a good little b**ch waiting to be f***ed.” He says before starting to laugh drunkenly. I knew he wasn't nice, but I never thought he had such a disgusting side...

- “Mmh... You see, I deal with clients all day long and I noticed that there are three different types. First one is the nice ones. The ones who come enjoy a drink or two and then go. Then, there are the annoying ones. They take a few drinks and start talking very loudly and getting a little bit out of line but it's still correct in a way. Finally, there are the ones that get to another level which is disrespect and being rude. Unfortunately, that happens to make me angry. Sadly, you're there right now. So I suggest you turn around and walk away while you can.” Replies politely and professionally, Phil, trying not to lose his cool despite the anger rising more and more. I know it. I see it. Just by the sight of the vein popping in his neck and the way he firmly closes his fists… His knuckles look so white...

- “Are you threatening me, boy?” questions, my boss, trying to play tough despite the fact that he struggles to stay still on his two feet.

- “No, It's just a "friendly" advice from one boss to another. Be smart. Take it. Turn around and walk away.” He tells him seriously, trying to make the man go away before it goes too far. I just hope he isn’t as stubborn as he is when he is sober… I stare at them from inside the bar, frowning with concern. This situation makes me so nervous. My boss is clearly unpleased by Phil’s words. Suddenly, the man starts screaming and draws his bottle towards Phil. Oh! The owner of the bar dodges the hit in time and pushes my boss against the wall behind him. The man is face first, kept pushed against the wall. “If you don't leave right now, I'll call the police! Want to think again?” Warns seriously and firmly, Phil, frowning with anger. Though, I can tell he is struggling to keep his anger in him. I have rarely seen Phil this mad… Honestly, it’s scary. Suddenly, my boss makes a rough move backward, his bottle hitting Phil’s ribcage. Oh! I gasp as I saw Phil bending over. My boss turns around and tries to hit Phil in the face with the bottle. Well, he isn’t as drunk as I thought… Phil steps back in time before punching him in the face. I gasp in surprise. I never saw Phil fighting before. My boss lands flat on his belly, the bottle rolling on the sidewalk. Though, he comes back up, helping himself with the wall. I can’t just watch them fight like this… I can’t watch Phil getting hurt because of me… My boss grabs Phil by the collar and pulls him before pushing him against the wall. He still has a certain strength... Though, Phil instantly pushes him back. I can’t...

- “Stop it! Now!” I scream after rapidly stepping out of the bar. I come in between the two men and separate them, forgetting what my boss could actually do. I push the drunk man away from Phil, making him stumble backwards before he catches himself on a car. Meanwhile, I place my hands on Phil’s chest as I felt him going for him. Hell no…! Enough! “Phil. Ph... Phil!” I call the boy as he tries to walk past me to get to the man. He's not angry, he's raging. Though, when I called him, imploring for him to look down at me, he stopped. His eyes met mines and softness instantly drowned them. “Stop, please. Don't enter his game.” I plead him seriously as I weakly nod.

- “I'm not letting that pig talk about you or treat you that way!” He replies with anger, looking back with dark eyes at the drunk man standing behind me. Phil takes a step forward, but again, I stop him, getting before him as I keep my hands on his chest.

- “Phil, look at me. Look at me!” I tell him seriously as I bring one hand to his cheek. Why am I doing this? Why does this feel so… Normal and right? Just with my hand on his cheek, I can feel how much the anger is boiling inside of him. I force him to look down at me. “Calm down, please.” I demand him softly, our eyes connecting a second time. The man stares at me displeased for a moment before letting a sigh out. Please, don’t do it… I didn’t notice, but I’m actually running my thumb on his cheek, as if the hope of him to calm him down will be by this simple gesture.

- “Are you going to make out now? Because I'd rather live the show than to watch it.” Comments, my boss. Gross… Disgusting… Repulsive… I slowly turn around to face the man as I stay before Phil. He is smirking as he looks at my body up and down. I’ve never felt so bad and embarrassed before. Like… He hasn’t done anything to me, but just the way he looks at me makes me feel dirtied.

- “Well, I'm going to make it easy for you, sir. I'm done. I quit. I'll come pick up my stuff tomorrow even though it isn't much.” I tell him with seriousness while frowning madly. I have to end this. My boss stares at me with a frown, processing my words.

- “You can't quit! You're working for me!” He screams back at me, half chewing on his words. As if...

- “Yes, I can!” I scream back at him which surprises him. Yeah, he must not be used to someone replying to him or going against him... “And if that doesn't please you, it's still going to be the same. I'm done being mistreated by you and by most of your clients. And if you can't accept that, maybe the police can help you like the idea. I'm sure I have enough to say against you.” I tell him with a reminding tone, raising my voice lightly but not as loud as he talks to me and keeping that firm tone. I don’t know where this confidence comes from, but it feels… Powerful. Maybe because I know Phil is here and has my back? I don’t know… My boss stares at us two so madly before he looks away. “Oh, and by the way, you owe me at least 4.000$ of pay for all the extra hours I did. I better have them soon if you don't want this to go to justice.” I remind him seriously, pointing at him with my finger. I feel like a tea pot. Everything I've been wanting to say to him, I say them.

- “You were i'competent 'nyway. 'nable to do one thing righ'. I won't be losing much.” He replies at me with a mad tone, almost looking relieved that I’m quitting. I watch him dancing on his feet, almost tripping over his own feet.

- “Exactly, and you were bringing absolutely nothing to me so it looks like we're both winning. Me a little more.” I answer to the man, keeping my firm and mad tone against him. Without saying another word, my boss just scoffs before he turns around to leave. Oh… First time he actually backs down in front of someone… Anyway, he'll far away now. I turn around to look back at Phil, watching him holding his ribs. Oh… “Oh God, are you okay?” I demand him with a worried tone as I try to hide my guilt. It’s because of me if he is hurt...

- “Yeah... He wasn't as drunk as I thought.” Answers, Phil, looking down at me with a light frown. Though, it is not a mad frown or else, he seems more.... Worried or concerned. But relieved at the same time, weirdly… I frown sadly before I look down at his free hand.

- “Come with me.” I tell him gently while taking his hand in mine. “Let me help you” I tell him while helping him get inside. Well… I’m not sure he needs help but still, I just feel the need to help him. He literally saved me from my boss.

- "Thanks, Gorgeous”, he says as he lets me lead him back to the bar. I close the door behind Phil and let him take place on a chair. While sitting, I hear him groaning lightly before he clears his throat, as if he didn’t want me to hear him in pain. Right, I should get him some ice. I walk over to the counter and go behind it. So it should be… Here! “You even know where ice is.” He tells me with an impressed tone as he lets a small chuckle out. How does he know I looked for that? That chuckle… It’ll be my death.

- “I've watched you worked behind that bar countless times. It's not hard to guess where the stuff is.” I respond to the boy as I come back to him, holding a cloth with ice in it. “Let me…” I tell him while sitting across from him. I gently and lightly lift his shirt up just to see if it has bruised or not yet. It’s starting to get bruised... I let a guilty sigh out before pulling his shirt back down. I place the cloth over it and delicately press on it. Phil lightly winces because of the pain and the cold touching his skin as he looks away. “I'm sorry. I didn't…” I begin to apologize to the man as I avoid his eyes.

- “It's okay.” he interrupts me as I feel him looking at him. I know he is. “It's not your fault. And at least I know you won't see that dick anymore.” he says with a satisfied and relieved tone.

- “Honestly, it feels like I just threw an enormous weight off my shoulders. It feels good. Thanks to you.” I admit to the man I have been crushing on for so long as I let a small smile appear on my face. He smiles back while weakly nodding.

- “What are you going to do now?” He asks me with curiosity.

- “Look for another job.” I simply answer.

- “My offer is still on, you know?” He tells me with a reminding tone. Oh… I looked up in his eyes for the first time since I’ve been holding the cloth with the ice on his wound. His offer… Working here... “If you want to work here while you look somewhere else, I'll be glad to have you here. I know you still need to pay for your college so…” He says with his calm and deep voice. How can he be so calm so easily, especially after what just happened outside his bar? My smile grows before I actually softly laugh.

- “Your job sucks so much that you're desperate for a constant distraction?” I ask sarcastically, joking around. Phil smiles and softly laughs back to my comment.

- “What can I say, I'd like to have a beautiful woman working with me. Especially you.” he answers, which makes my cheeks burn instantly. You player… I bite my lower lip without controlling myself and look up in his eyes. They are burning with flames of… Of… Such a strong emotion… Feeling. God, I love him… And those eyes that he is giving me aren’t helping at all…

- “When can I start then?” I demand him, not really knowing how I managed to ask him this without mumbling or stuttering.

- “Monday?” he proposes to me. Huh?

- “Monday... In four days?” I ask him, frowning confused after thinking for a second.

- “You deserve a little break, Gorgeous, don't you think?” He tells me seriously and so gently. He’s just so sweet and caring… I mean, he clearly wants to show who the boss is here because it is his bar, but… His calm personality and the way he behaves most of the time just seem to hide his true self. I mean, Phil is Phil and his words are sometimes raw, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t think otherwise. I nod to the boy before looking down. I feel so nervous suddenly. My heart is racing like never before and I can’t take this idiotic smile off my face. What has he done to me, seriously? Suddenly, Phil gently pushes my hand and the ice from his chest and starts to get up. What…? Where is he going? What is he going to do?

- “Wait, I…” I suddenly say, grabbing his wrist. What just took me? Why did I…? I’m such a fool. And such a nervous wreck right now. I avoid his look, staring at the floor. “There's... Hum…” I have to tell him. I can’t back down anymore. I can’t flee my own feelings either anymore.

- “Are you nervous?” He asks me with a smirk while sitting back down on the chair across from me. Oh...

- “No, I... Yeah. I'm... I'm a nervous wreck right now actually. It's just... I…” I confessed to him, sounding as if I even struggle to breath now. God, I’m such an idiot, why am I stuttering like this in front of him?

- “Am I making you this nervous, Gorgeous?” He asks me in a whisper with his deep voice while slowly getting closer to my face. Oh… I don’t move as my eyes just fall on his lips. They look so soft. My breathing gets heavier instantly. I can’t look at him… I close my eyes as I breath heavily.

- “Actually... Yes…” I admit. After a few seconds, I opened my eyes again as Phil didn’t say a word. The boy has his eyes devouring my lips as the fire in them seems to have grown. “Phil, I…” I begin to whisper, trying to find the courage to say the words.

- “Phil, what? What do you want, Gorgeous?” He asks me with the same deep and calm whisper which makes me even more nervous.

- “Phil…” I whisper his name as I lock my eyes with his. They’re just so beautiful and he is just so close to me... Phil hums with his deep voice as he lightly wets his lips. Oh my… The man gets closer and closer so slowly until his forehead connects with mine. I close my eyes, enjoying how close we are right now. I can’t explain what I feel inside right now, but it’s a total mess. There are butterflies, fireworks… It’s a crazy feeling. Phil brings his hand to my cheek which feels so soft and so right. None of us move. None of us say a word. Nothing breaks this moment. I bring my hand over his, wanting him to hold me. Then, as the two of us are plunged in a deep silence, Phil suddenly pecks my lips. He… Kissed me. His lips are just so warm and soft and the kiss is so delicate. Simple but delicate. Phil pulls away from my lips and disconnects our foreheads. Though, he keeps a really, really small distance. Our eyes connect once more but none of us say a word. There’s no need. His eyes are talking for himself. He just wants to make sure I’m okay with this… I smile with happiness as I bring my hand to his neck and pull him back in for a kiss. What’s happening to me? I don’t know. I would have never done this before. I’m too shy for that. But it just feels so right, right now. Phil answers to my kiss instantly, giving the same softness and warmth than before. It’s more passionate though… The boy grabs my hands and pulls me closer to him as he rests completely on his chair. I let him guide me and sit on his lap, never breaking the kiss. Phil holds me, one hand in my back, the other on my thigh as the kiss becomes quickly heated. Suddenly, he pulls away from the kiss but only to go down my jaw and then my neck. I close my eyes and let my head lean to the side to give him more room. This feeling is just amazing! However, Phil suddenly stops kissing me, sounding just as breathless as I am.

- “Sorry, sorry... I just... We should stop before it's too... Heated. I told you, I don't want to make you do something you don't want to do now and…” He tells me out of breath and with seriousness. I look at him, noticing that he's really not playing. Especially because he stopped before going too far. This proves one more time that he really wants to try this relationship. I smile, feeling just so lucky at this moment.

- “I love you, too.” I whisper to the boy which made him look at me with surprise. He said it so many times to me but I’ve never said it back before. I never dare. I was so scared and so shy. I lean in and give him a new soft and warm kiss before taking him into my arms and letting my head in the crook of his neck. His scent is lovely. I can tell that Phil was surprised at first, but he didn’t put long to hug me back. Jessy’s brother holds me tightly, hiding his head in my neck as well, smelling my perfume. “I love you, Phil.” I whisper one more time.

- “If I knew I needed to fight with your crappy boss to hear you say it…” He says playfully which makes me softly laugh.

- “Well, actually, I was going to tell it to you tonight, anyway. I figured... I can't deny or lie about it anymore so... And I need to live my life as well, take it in my own hands... And you did prove that you want something serious with me so…” I respond to the man sincerely. I can feel my nervousness slowly fading away as I feel more and more comfortable with him. I mean, how could you not? I was starting to pull away from the hug when Phil stopped me. Oh… The man kisses my cheek delicately before kissing my lips one more time. I smile and look at him in the eyes. “Just don't break me, Phil…” I demand him, softly whispering.

- “Oh, I won't. Trust me, Gorgeous. I've been wanting you for a while now. I did lots of things to prove to you that I love you. Things I’ve never done before. The idea of me hurting you is painful. And I think that if I ever hurt you, I'll probably have all Duskwood after me.” He replies seriously to me before chuckling playfully. I chuckle back, amused.

- “Oh, I'm not sure I know that many people but... Yeah, most likely.” I answer jokingly, entering his game. The two of us laugh one more time. His smile is just so contagious. I give him one last kiss before standing up from his lap.

- “Where are you going?” He asks me, sounding disappointed that I got up from his lap.

- “The others are going to arrive soon. I don't really want them to see me taking you for a chair.” I respond with sarcasm to the man as I walk over to the bar to sit on a stool.

- “Well, I don't mind, Gorgeous. Having you sitting on my lap is kind of... Sexy.” he says with his deep voice, looking at me up and down with a smirk. I hum as I notice how hungry he actually looks. Oh boy, he’s been waiting, hasn’t he?

- “You're a naughty little devil, you know that?” I tell him while giggling.

- “Yep, but only for you, Gorgeous.” He replies with a charming tone. I place my hand over my heart before laughing.

- “Phil!” I call him through my laugh.

- “Yes, Gorgeous?” he calls me, using the same charming tone mixed with the deepness of his voice. I laugh again as my cheeks are burning. “So, are we together, MC?” He asks me more seriously.

- “Well, no.” I answer to the boy which makes him frown, confused and disappointed. “What? Don't look at me like that. Technically, we just had a... A... Very unexpected heated moment. But you never asked me out, did you?” I remind him playfully, winking at the boy. Phil laughs to my answer, understanding where I'm getting at.

- “MC, would you like to be my girlfriend?” He asks me with seriousness, yet, having the most beautiful and charming smile over his face.

- “I don't know. Give me a good reason to say “yes”.” I answer playfully. Without waiting, Phil stands up from the chair and lifts his shirt, showing me his abs. I laugh and blush while bitting my lower lip. "Definitely getting there", I tell him as I’m actually devouring his body with my eyes. Seriously, what has he done to me? Phil chuckles as he approaches me. One of his hands goes in my back while the other one passes softly in my hair, pushing it back before placing it on my cheek.

- “You're definitely going to make me a fool for you, Gorgeous.” he whispers softly and lovingly.

- “Not my plan.” I answer playfully while smiling happily. Phil smiles back to me before he slides his hand in my back, holding me against him tightly. I feel him kissing my neck again while he runs his hand in my back. I just feel so comfortable in his arms, so protected.

- “I love you.” He tells me sincerely and with love in his voice.

- “I love you.” I repeat his words with the same tone he used while literally melting in his embrace.

I was a fool for him. He was a fool for me. I was just too shy and he was another man. A lot has changed lately in my life, but this is the best thing I could dream of.

[unfortunate-brat]

Dean Winchester

Break my heart! Rip it into shreds. I'm sad and I'm craving angst so much

THE MECHANIC

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Latina!Reader , ?? x Latina!Reader

Word Count: 551

Summary: Even old memories can still make a person break down into tears or feel the ache in their hearts.

Warnings: Heavy Angst, Heartbreak

A/N: I left the reasoning to the reader to decide, you’ll see what I mean

Y/N recalls the day she met Dean the mechanic, the way he made sure to explain what her car needed in simple terms, making jokes to ease her mind. It’s bad enough her bumper got fucked up by another driver, too dumb and selfish to realize how the road works.

Sure, in the court battle, that driver was paying for her damages but even then Y/N didn’t want to make him overpay. She was going out of her way to make sure the price was within reason. And all those days she spent watching Dean work on her car made her appreciate the craft even more. 

The mechanic was even going out of his way to show her how to spot certain things and how to fix little issues that might come up. A bad move because he could lose a customer but money never really bothered the individual, what he did take note of was how Y/N was willing to listen to every word. Asking questions when needed, getting dirty to prove to him she can do it, and forming that warm smile he likes to believe was reserved for him.

She enjoyed the passion in his voice for every so called lesson, how his green eyes lit up at the opportunity to teach her something new. For a moment Y/N had wondered if he had anyone to talk cars to, but every time she came over, Dean was alone in the shop. So its possible his friends didn’t really stop by, and months later she learned they had been leading busier lives.

Thanksgiving-or Friendsgiving as Benny had called it-they all had the time to get caught up on each other’s life. Dean invited her as a friend, but with all the stolen moments, sparks flying at the touch of their fingers, Y/N kissing him on her doorstep, they took on a new role together.

She casts a sad smile at the memory, sniffling a bit before turning in the bed, snuggling into the warm body next to her. A strong arm pulling her close and leaving a kiss atop her head. “ Again?” His sleepy voice bleeding into the silence. 

“Y-yeah, it’s been a year since...” She couldn’t even bring herself to finish the sentence as the male sighs. Cupping both her cheeks and wiping her tears away with his thumbs. 

“ I know honey, just focus on your breathing right now. Inhale and exhale, come on. I’ll do it with you.” Using his words as guidance, she breaths in deeply before pushing it all back out, repeating that process for 5 more times. Her breathing a little more steady now. “ All better? Or do you wanna be distracted?”

She shook her head, pressing her temple to his. “ Promise you won’t leave me.”

He knew what Y/N would be dealing with when they got together and although she’s made so much progress since, all it takes is one memory or something from her past to threaten that foundation of strength. “ I, Andrew Barber, promise that I will not leave you. Not for another woman, not over an argument, not for a stupid reason and certainly not because I’m overly jealous or controlling.”

She punches his gut playfully before taking another deep exhale. “ Thank you Andy.”

Kissing her nose, he smiles a bit. “ No problem, honey. Now let’s get some sleep, I won’t have that douche making you more upset tonight.

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[dystopiandilfs]

(cw cc!Karl negative/critical)

I don't know if this has been touched on in your previous posts but I wanted to talk on how Karls constant forced integration into groups or need for larger creators around is quite frustrating to watch.

What all began as a silly bit in his early days with him being a part of L'manburg from the beginning or the dream team, has developed into a cry for constant involvement within his friend groups. Be it from Tina and Georges "sunshine duo" nickname they created from an inside joke in uno which Karl immediately claimed himself a part of. Or, in the among us with corpse and friends, although not involved in the bit he would try and get the last word in. It's ok to not be a part of every conversation yet he doesn't seem to realize this.

Obviously, his friends aren't bothered by his actions and I have no intention on claiming they do. However, as a viewer I've recently started perceiving it as his fear that something new could begin without him being a part of it. So what if it did? I feel like Karl is on a constant attempt at staying relevant and dreads the thought of someone forgetting him. Tales seems to be a prime example of such, consisting of 4 well known CCs (techno, dream, corpse, etc.) and potentially one who averages less than 50k.

Although I understand the need for viewer retention, the Dream SMP itself incorporates a wide variety of streamers of varying sizes, surely they all deserve a spot. Yet tales has had a castlist barely breaching half of such over the course of 8 episodes. Although he may not have established connections with such streamers I'm sure many would be thrilled to recieve a request at something bigger than the average stream. He seems to care little for the story's and more for the cast he pulls together and the build they reside on. Due to such, there is no hype for tales, there is just hype for the creators taking part. The project isn't passion filled, it's a reminder on why we should all look at Karls streams and remember Karl, he brings creators together don't forget! He's relevant.

Karl has become too lenient on his friends for content, I can't recall the last time we had a solo stream (minus his apology). His fatal flaw seems to be disregarding a viewer base centered around him and more so turning the attention to his friends. Thus, solo content would be left lacking. His ability to entertain an audience requires others to bounce off of or divert the attention to. I think he realizes such judging by this behavior. However, for the long term survival of a streamer this is far from ideal.

(Don't feel any need to respond, this was a mess of a rant that took twelve turns midway)

Yeah that has been bought up a lot recently. Especially since Sykkuno apparently sounded genuinely annoyed during an among us stream after Karl kept of claiming he was always part of the amigops. As well as him going on about how he built Kinoko Kingdom, people saying at least credit Foolish instead of dismissing his hard work that you're not been going to use. I said before that Karl's stream are never solo minus like 2 but even then it's him watching someone else do something. Karl physically seems unable to do anything that is just him and his own content.

The nickname for him is Klout Khaser Karl for a reason. I genuinely wouldn't be surprised if he dropped his own family for a bit of clout. Like I have no issue with people making friends and benefitting for clout but when you have to rely on clout and popular streamers to keep your career going it's not a good thing.

Not to mention that when he tried to claim that he was part of the original group on the DreamSMP a lot of newer viewers got genuinely confused thinking that he was their from the start. Like if you're going to have a bit you need to clarify afterwards otherwise it's just going to cause chaos and confusion. Also it's not just clout he has this thing where if he's not got the attention on him he starts doing things to be noticed like moaning loud, screeching and just generally being obnoxiously loud.

I see a lot of people saying that Karl isn't using his friends for clout because he doesn't care which literally isn't true. One big example being one of his streams with Sapnap where he refused to start until he got more viewers and was telling people to tweet out a stream link. Someone else also recently mentioned that during the egg painting stream he constantly mentioned about how far away he was from his subgoal to which others mentioned how he mentions his subgoal a ridiculous amount of times. I was also sent a link on twitter to a thread (now unfortunately deleted) that was Someone comparing the difference between Karl, Technoblade and Ranboo about how much they go on about followers, subgoals, giving money, gifting bits and subs. Like how did Karl spend 30 more minutes asking people to sub than Ranboo when Ranboo streams 3 times as often and twice as long. (Including his subathons)

I genuinely think that Karl has a stable enough fanbase and he doesn't need to rely on bigger names like Dream and Corpse to get views so I don't know why he does it if it's not for clout.

In my opinion Karl started this persona of being an uwu soft boy and now he's got this mentality of doing what's popular and trendy at the time to the point of him no longer having an individual personality. I do think it's a bit of narcissism but I do think it's also got a lot to do with the fact that he's surrounded by Mr Beast and his "Bigger and Better or scrap it" mentality as well as Dream's growth mentality. I think he's adopted Dream's ideas about growth but put if towards himself compared to Dream who thrives off of growing others.

Honestly I think he needs to take time off to re-evaluate everything and start fresh. Not relying on names and not being obsessed with views. I think he needs to take a short hiatus and when he comes back to only do a few solo streams to show his individual personality. (but also to appear in others streams as support) Similar to people staying off the internet for a bit to improve mental health I think he needs to leave to find a personality that's not ridiculously fabricated.

(Can't wait for the anonymous hate comments for this one)