#all I had was my work bag

[questwithambition]

Weekly update - 26/02/2024

Maybe bringing these back? We’ll see how it goes - but she’s back in London! Only partially moved in with the most chaotic of weeks as everything seemed to happen at once (and a feeling of being behind), but am leaning into the accepting what is and doing what you can about it now. Which seems to be working fine; we’re focusing on the making sure my life is working and adding tiny improvements as and when I can. Oh, and hopefully catching the exposition on fantasy at the British library before it ends!

[yardsards]

i needed to express a sentiment in the creative stylings of @dunmeshiminimumwage

[zorosdimples]

i think many writers (myself included) get stuck in the “free time must be writing time otherwise it’s wasted” mindset. but how often do you sit down to write, stare at the screen, and call it a day? or claim you’re writing while you’re actually just screwing around doing other things? we forget that a fundamental element of writing is simply reading. you can’t improve your craft if you refuse—willingly or not—to witness what others are doing. instead of bashing ourselves for not being productive or inspired, we should be enjoying great novels, poetry, essay collections, memoirs, and the like. a “good” writer doesn’t have to be writing all the time or even most of the time; a “good” writer should recognize the limits to their creativity and find joy in that which inspired them to write in the first place: reading.

[grumpyghostdoodles]

The Almighty Sheriff!

Save a horse, ride a cowboy~

[reaper-in-reverie]

—seaside.

Rin really was looking forward to it, you know?

Their dream. Soccer. No, Rin couldn't care less about soccer — what he cared about was brother, and being the best next to him. Next to him. By his side. He didn't care about being some best, he cared about his brother.

Fuck that. Seriously fuck that.

OR

synopsis. Rin after Sae came home from Spain, buying his old favorite ice cream, stuck in his thoughts. warnings. swearing, a fair amount of it. angst (i guess?). character study (in-character writing), which essentially is me yapping. tw long tags because those are my footnotes. I know blue lock fans only really care for thirsts and stuff so here's rin angst ig. wc 985.

Footsteps gently thudded on the hard dirt, the sea buzzing in the distance, the occasional splash of the waves against rock, the sun beginning to set.

Rin couldn't bear to stay in his house.

(Correction: holed up in his room.) He couldn't bear the thought of staying around his brother at all. He'd grown accustomed to Sae's absence in the four years he was away — but knowing he was back, near him, in his own home just filled him with a seething rage. He left his room with scattered trophies. Maybe in the heat of the moment he broke a photo.

He just couldn't be there right now.

Rin looked down at his hands. He had twin popsicles in them. He continued to walk until he reached the railing overlooking the sea. He promptly broke them in half. He couldn't stop thinking over the fact that Sae was usually the one to — supposed to be the one to — break them in half. He stared at them with a tired expression.

He couldn't stand being here either. He couldn't stand being anywhere right now.

Rin held the one popsicle in his other hand and stuck the other in his mouth, expression blank except for the twitch of his eyebrows. No, he came out here to not think of his stupid fucking brother right now — he came out here to breathe. He came out here to get out of his room. He came out here to eat popsicles. And watch the sunset.

Rin really was looking forward to it, you know?

Their dream. Soccer. No, Rin couldn't care less about soccer — what he cared about was brother, and being the best next to him. Next to him. By his side. He didn't care about being some best, he cared about his brother.

Fuck that. Seriously fuck that.

Rin had to come to terms Sae Itoshi had lied to him. Thinking back, Sae always did talk about being the best in the world — did they even share a dream in the first place? Did Sae truly just use him as a training partner? And now — now that he was the best, was Rin simply not enough?

Rin didn't want to play soccer any more.

His grip tightened slightly on the other popsicle. Some of it melted, dripping down his hand — that'd make some mess — but Rin didn't bother to clean it up. He'd nearly finished the one he was eating, opting to take it out of his mouth and see if he had won or not. In big, bold letters, were the words 'YOU WIN' on the popsicle stick.

He always did win.

Which meant the other popsicle was the losing one. Rin still took the half-melted ice cream into his mouth, switching it out with the one he already finished eating. He had a solemn expression on his face as he pondered throwing the stick into the ocean. He just kept it in his hand and stared into the horizon.

No, it couldn't be. Why did Sae change so suddenly? Whatever he and his brother went through — all his praises and all the goals they made, the money they spent on twin popsicles, the amount of 'winner' sticks in the bottom of the ocean, sitting together, walking together, him holding onto Sae's sleeve like a stupid annoying kid, their talk just before Sae went to Spain and changed forever — they all had to have meant something. It had to have meant something.

Or maybe Sae was the weak one here. He gave up, after all, didn't he? — he changed his dream. He left Rin behind. He was just pathetic. He just wasn't the same.

Sae never really was the same when he came back.

It was like looking at someone who looked like your brother. But he wasn't. This wasn't his brother, this wasn't the boy who made his dreams, this wasn't his reason to play soccer — this was Sae Itoshi, the man who turned his life upside down, the man who crushed him, the man who shoved the cold, hard truth into his face and took away all the child-like love and respect he ever had to the only human he'd ever considered family.

Rin would never forgive him.

Why the hell did he change so suddenly?

Rin would never forgive him.

No, in fact — Rin would crush him. He wanted to crush him until he was nothing more next to him. Crush him and his cruel dream to be the best midfielder.

He'd prove he was more than some training partner. Sae wanted to be the best midfielder in the world? So that Rin could be the best striker in the world? Fucking go right ahead.

He hated he wanted to prove his brother right.

He hated him.

Rin wanted to play soccer again.

He gritted his teeth, accidentally biting on the popsicle stick too hard — the sudden spike of pain making him take it out of his mouth. He took a deep breath, scanning over the large 'YOU LOSE' in bold letters written on the popsicle stick. He held both the losing and winning sticks in one hand, turning from the railing with a deep breath. And he began to walk back home.

Rin won back his dreams again today.

Some part of him didn't have Sae Itoshi as a brother anymore. Just an adversary. Just some obstacle.

He stared at the popsicle sticks again — 'YOU WIN', and 'YOU LOSE'. He stared at them as he walked along the side of the road. Rin found himself dwelling over the losing words. Trying to feel what his brother might've felt back then. It was one of the rare time he actually got the losing popsicle. And at the same time he didn't really lose — the winning one was just in his hand as well. But he didn't truly win either.

Rin had a feeling he could only truly win or lose if he had someone to win or lose to.

But he didn't. Not anymore.

... And Rin wasn't a sentimental person at all. But for now, he decided to keep the popsicle sticks, safely tucked into his pocket, like the ghost of the past.

For old time's sake, if you will.

© reapkusho on tumblr. 2024. all rights reserved. refrain from translating, copying, or stealing in any way, etc.

[squisheebugdoodles]

Okay Here Is The Problem: everything costs money and yet money is something that i just literally never have. solution? kill the idea of money so that nothing costs anything Please. i'm so tired

[diabolicjoy]

mittens !!!! pattern X - i modified a bit because my yarn was a bit more thick, so i shortned a few rows of the colorwork & added the burnt orange details instead :)

[figofswords]

the post grad why did i get an art degree what am i even doing what do i want in life where am i going crisis has finally hit i want to. lie down in the dirt. or something

[throwdownyourheart]

…

[putridpride]

im sorry, but there's no industry like working with cannabis & i'll always encourage working in the cannabis industry

[liquidstar]

a friend who'd wait :)

[mixelation]

laptop update: they diagnosed the problem and somehow the warranty for the battery replacement i got also covers this repair even though it's a different part (yay!). however it is in the shop until the part comes in (boo!!!)

so i am stuck using my shitty PC lmao

[cator99]

I always get detained at da border because PROFUNC never ended but basically I'm like if a targeted individual didn't even care

[sleepinglionhearts]

Anyone wanna send me money for irresponsible fountain pen purchasing

[ainawgsd]

I cant even this week. Came in to work this morning to find the big fridge below freezing. It went out last night within 15 minutes of us closing. EVERYTHING in that fridge has to be damaged out.

[stabbyfoxandrew]

every time my dad does anything he has to do it in the most annoying and loudest way possible. and honestly i'm not sure if he means to or he's just really goddamn stupid but it's really really grating. and i'm suffering the werewolf curse rn so i'm ready to die