#all I had was my work bag
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questwithambition Ā· 1 year ago
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Weekly update - 26/02/2024
Maybe bringing these back? Weā€™ll see how it goes - but sheā€™s back in London! Only partially moved in with the most chaotic of weeks as everything seemed to happen at once (and a feeling of being behind), but am leaning into the accepting what is and doing what you can about it now. Which seems to be working fine; weā€™re focusing on the making sure my life is working and adding tiny improvements as and when I can. Oh, and hopefully catching the exposition on fantasy at the British library before it ends!
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arsenicflame Ā· 3 months ago
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It's a time-honoured tradition- every time Sam comes across Izzy (and Ed) in their travels, he asks Izzy to marry him. And every time, Izzy turns him down.
At this point, Sam is asking more for the sake of it than any belief Izzy will ever say yes, a remnant of childhood dedication touched with 30 years of heartbreak and regret- though even now, a small part of him still holds out hope. Sam's promises have only got more extravagant over the years, from a job as his first mate, to a captaincy, a fleet at his command, a whole fucking island if that's what Izzy wants- but he knows it isn't though, not really. If Izzy was ever going to agree to marry him, to leave his life and go with Sam, it wouldn't be for anything Sam could offer him. Izzy never did care for flashy shows of wealth, for a ship or to be captain. The only thing that ever mattered to him was loyalty given, and loyalty shown in return.Ā 
It all comes to a head after Stede left and came back, after Izzy lost a toe, lost his leg. Sam hasn't seen him since before things with Ed started to really slide off the rails, before stress permanently set into the lines of Izzyā€™s face. So, when he sees a dishevelled man with a hoof for a leg in a no-name port, he doesn't even consider the idea that he might know him. It's only when he turns towards him, and Sam catches a glance at those oh too familiar tattoos, he realises this is Izzy, his Izzy, that stands before him.
Knowing Izzy's discomfort with pity, he doesn't treat him any differently than he would in years gone by, positioning himself in Izzy's line of sight before approaching and sweeping him up into a bone crushing hug.Ā 
ā€œIsrael-goddamn-Hands!ā€ he exclaims, as Izzy grumbles back a begrudging ā€œSamuel-fucking-Bellamyā€, a tradition almost as old as their friendship itself. Izzy might not hug him back, but he canā€™t keep the corner of his mouth from twitching, just for a second.
(If Sam holds Izzy a little tighter and a little longer than usual, well. That's his business)
By the time Sam lets go, most of the crew has appeared in the town square, drawn in by the commotion. They may have given Izzy his leg and welcomed him as one of them, but still thereā€™s an underlying tension, with nobody quite ready to set aside everything that happened before the Kraken. Seeing him cosying up to an unknown man sets everyone on edge, unsure whether to come to their first mateā€™s aid, or to assume that they've been betrayed once again.
When Ed sees that the yelling was Sam, his hand goes tense where it's held in Stede's. He knows the routine, has seen it more times than he can count, but as he watches them part he realises that this is the first time in a long time he's unsure of what Izzy's response will be.
Knowing that somethingā€™s different, knowing that Izzy's feeling vulnerable already, Sam doesn't go for the same flashy proposal heā€™s been giving for years. He doesn't promise Izzy the world, he doesn't cause a scene (or, any more of a scene than he already has, anyway). He looks at the fractured man in front of him, takes his face in his hands, and says the exact same thing to him he said when they were little more than boys. ā€œIsrael, I have to ask you. I know what you'll say, but I have to try. Come with me. Marry me and sail away with me. I'll keep you safeā€
And Izzyā€¦ hesitates. He glances over at Ed, at Stede, and says to Sam ā€œ...Weā€™re staying in port for a week. Ask me again thenā€
That's the moment Sam knows there is something deeply, horribly, wrong. He's not just looking at an Izzy who got seriously injured in a fight and is struggling to cope, this is something so much bigger than that- and that Ed has something to do with it. Izzy wouldn't even be considering leaving if he didn't. Whether it was negligence or something more sinister, Sam doesn't yet know, but he intends to find out.
#i feel like the little paragraph about the crew is real clunky and out of place but i wanted some kind of establishment of where those#dynamics are at. its important that the crew is something for izzy to consider in his decision; but also that their relationship isnt so#solid he would stay for them alone; yknow?#im sorta aiming for a s2e5 era but like. early in those themes. he cant be all sorted yet i need him to be struggling#anyway this is part of a much larger scenario in my head that im never ever doing anything with but i wrote THIS bit in a daze in like. jun#and i got thinking about it again and i think?? it holds its own as a 'hey think about THIS' snippet. idk you decide#youre welcome to interpret this as solo bellhands but in my head it Has morphed into sam/izzy/ed/stede#because i cant not put edizzy in things any more. izzy has two hands#i also think the comedy potential of one of your boyfriends HATING your other boyfriend is gold. 10/10 dynamic#stede is mostly along for the ride in this but also i think they need him#aaaaand. the sam/ed bracket i think can only be closed in exceptional circumstances. i think they 'hate' each other too much#...which is WHY someones getting kidnapped!!! yay#anyway its all irrelevant because ill never write it out. i can do silly chill things but thatll require work#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#izzy hands#israel hands#sam bellamy#bellhands#i wanna also say. the general concept of repeated sam proposals has been floating around my head forever#it used to be a more silly thing like i referenced at the start but. s2 gave me angsty feelings i guess#i cant not have izzy have feelings for ed right now which inherently adds layers to Any bellhands scenarios i think.#but yeah. its a Classic Bellhands vibe for me. sam seeing izzy at sea or on shore and asking him to marry him (again)#i like to do this with jackie too. i think i just want that man to be obnoxiously desired#(theres also layers of my personal hornigold era lore built into this but i hope it holds up without u knowing it. tldr. sam lost izzy by#being an idiot n fumbling the bag. thats what matters. izzy went with ed and sams been trying to fix it ever since)#i probably should have readmore'd this but i didnt think it was Quite long enough. or had a good break point. sorry <3
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yardsards Ā· 10 months ago
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i needed to express a sentiment in the creative stylings of @dunmeshiminimumwage
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#eliot posts#dunme#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi#sorry to put toshiro in the roll of shitty job interviewer lmao#but he was the best fit for ''guy that wants me to read their mind''#laios being my internal monologue here#i was on my THIRD interview of the day i was Dying#tho since the prev two interviews i had were for similar positions and told me their salaries outright at least i could use that number#(though tbh my work persona is more of a kabru. my customer service voice is unparalleled)#(at my first job even my coworkers thought i was sooo cheerful til i got too comfy and casually made a joke abt wanting to asphyxiate on a#plastic shopping bag like a sea turtle. in front of my sweet elderly coworker. oops!)#(also this job was during quarantine and after weeks of working together i took my mask off in front of one coworker for the first time#and she called like half the department over from their registers to look at how pretty i was??? prettyboy powers unmatched ig)#(also my first interview today went SO well i charmed that interviewer so good despite my lack of qualifications)#(she even complimented my social skills and said i seemed like the type who could get along well and make good conversation with anyone!)#(which is important bc i was interviewing for an elder care position. also old people especially tend to think i am a Delightful Young Lad)#(unless i accidentally make a morbid joke around them ig lmaooo. or. well. some of them like those too. but not that one coworker lol)#(if only that skill transferred over to actually making friends irl. my autistic ass has so few close irl connections)#(i hope my exceedingly short list of character references does not prevent me from getting hired)#AND ALSO my first job asked the same wage question and i said twelve dollars#and they were like all our new employees start at 7.75#the union insists that we pay all new employees a whopping 50 cents above min wage. (we'd pay less if we could)#like dawg why did you ask that then??? if my answer did not matter at all???
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zorosdimples Ā· 1 year ago
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i think many writers (myself included) get stuck in the ā€œfree time must be writing time otherwise itā€™s wastedā€ mindset. but how often do you sit down to write, stare at the screen, and call it a day? or claim youā€™re writing while youā€™re actually just screwing around doing other things? we forget that a fundamental element of writing is simply reading. you canā€™t improve your craft if you refuseā€”willingly or notā€”to witness what others are doing. instead of bashing ourselves for not being productive or inspired, we should be enjoying great novels, poetry, essay collections, memoirs, and the like. a ā€œgoodā€ writer doesnā€™t have to be writing all the time or even most of the time; a ā€œgoodā€ writer should recognize the limits to their creativity and find joy in that which inspired them to write in the first place: reading.
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grumpyghostdoodles Ā· 1 year ago
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The Almighty Sheriff!
Save a horse, ride a cowboy~
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thevioletcaptain Ā· 1 month ago
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as someone who normally reads a script over on the tv writing site every day while eating breakfast like it's the morning paper, but who didn't have time today because i'm trying to meet a deadline on my own script that i've been slow to work on due to an assortment of fire related stress as a resident of los angeles this week........ i am experiencing some severe fomo over these new spn script drops
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xxplastic-cubexx Ā· 3 months ago
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Kinda forgot i let him hang there for the day but fuck it he can stayā€¦. Why notā€¦. Theyre friends nowā€¦
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stellewriites Ā· 1 month ago
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have to keep repeating in my head; heā€™s leaving soon heā€™s moving out heā€™s got a job so heā€™s leaving in two months heā€™s moving out every time i see a mess my brother has made in the house
#he leaves a trailā€¦.#bathroom soaking fucking wet and covered in soap bubbles??? is he making potions????#kitchen sides covered in crumbs. hob covered in grease and bits of food. sink turning to mulsh at the joins bc he keeps it SOAKING FUCKING#WET. floors a mess. bins full. sofa cushions all over???????#I DONT GET ITTTTTT#SHOES IN THR MIDDLE OF THR HALLWAYS AND KITCHEN??#WASHING MACHINE DOOR WIDE OPEN MICROWAVE DOOR OPEN#no room in the fridge for my shopping bc itā€™s full of his alcoholā€¦..#the list goes on. the man doesnā€™t get up until 2pm#i just..#im so frustrated#and my mum is like ā€˜heā€™s got nowhere else to stay and itā€™s so nice seeing him. it could be years before we see him againā€™ like girl be so#fucking real rn#we facetime him every week when heā€™s abroad and tbh i spoke to him more then than i do now - like he sits in another room from us. doesnā€™t#eat with us. when it was mums birthday he put up a fuss about sitting in the same room for takeaway liiiiikeā€” idc if he had shit going on#that day either buck up for mums fucking birthday knobhead#i donā€™t see him bc im at work or heā€™s not awake when i am or when im in the house still#like yeah sure ā€˜wonā€™t get to see him againā€™#shouldā€™ve just been like#promise?? šŸ¤ŖšŸ¤ŖšŸ¤Ŗ#bc this is tooooo much now#he doesnā€™t change!!!! he doesnā€™t!!#i put a recycle bag at the front door to take out in the afternoon when i knew i was leaving the house but he left before me and i had to#ASK and point out the fucking bag and say ā€˜put that in the blue bin plsā€™#like if heā€™s staying here then pull ur weight if itā€™s ā€™your house tooā€™#fucking HELLLLLLL#also might add that heā€™s staying here for free but uses the heating SO liberally like that bill is going to be sky high but itā€™s me and mum#that pay it šŸ˜#and heā€™s been told.#just does it when weā€™re not in bc i caught him the other day with it on 24c which the radiators canā€™t even fucking reachhhh UGHHHHHHHHH
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squisheebugdoodles Ā· 7 months ago
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Okay Here Is The Problem: everything costs money and yet money is something that i just literally never have. solution? kill the idea of money so that nothing costs anything Please. i'm so tired
#despite making more money w/ my commissions than ever before this year#i am still. not able to save up literally even one (1) single penny of it bc of bills#i have to make like 600 every month just to break even at like 5 dollars in my acct#please i am so fucking tired#i want to get myself things and do shit#i want to buy things for archie and jack's dog and for the house so that things are better for all of us#i want to be able to afford snacks more than once every three months like if i maybe want a bag of chips#instead of saving up for three months and going 'yeah okay 5 dollars for a normal sized bag of chips is finally worth it' ?????????????????#why the fuck are chips so expensive that is potatoes and spices and like all of it is automated hello?? what are we fucking paying for?????#ANYWAYS.#i am just fucking. Tired#due to recent events I was like#'okay how much are dog treadmills.... oh. i see. i will never be able to afford that even after three years saving. got it'#there are five hundred fundraisers on my dash (BARELY hyperbole) every single day and everybody needs help#so i COMPLETELY get people not having a ton of disposable funds this isn't me complaining about that i'm just.#i wish that i sometimes had money so that i could MAYBE save anything up or y'know. have ANYTHING to show for it#bc right now i am working full time at this job (commission/freelance artist and adopt maker etc) and making like maybe 4 dollars an hour#which is great bc when i started i was only getting about $0.11 an hour but like. that's still not. Good. For all the time i put into it#but due to circumstances and situations this is about all i'm physically and mentally able to do here and i LIKE doing commission but it's#not really. getting me anywhere and i just want to afford things finally.#i'm 27 and everything i own fits in one room and almost all of it was gifted to me for free bc i couldn't afford to get it on my own#delete later i'm just so tired man
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figofswords Ā· 10 months ago
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the post grad why did i get an art degree what am i even doing what do i want in life where am i going crisis has finally hit i want to. lie down in the dirt. or something
#WHAT AM I DOING!!!!#i get up i go to my stupid retail job i stick labels on bags they pay me fucking thirteen bucks an hour i come home i lie on the couch#too tired to draw in too much pain to go anywhere no energy to reach out to college friends to do anything fun#no idea where the even start with getting an industry job no clue what i even WANT at this point#trying to remember what i loved so much about comics i want it BACK i HATE this#WHAT IS THE POINT!!!! WHAT DO I WANT WHERE AM I GOING!!! WHAT COMES NEXT!!!!!!#there's no clear career trajectory i can't do freelance i need structure i can't work too much i need free time#my brain doesn't work every job requires me to move across the country the irs just took fucking three hundred stupid dollars from me#my friends live in different states i can't get a job without experience i can't get experience without a job#i can't work on my portfolio with no energy and no time and i dont have any money and everything is so expensive all the time#i can't get anywhere bc i dont drive and im too stressed to think about taking driving lessons again#and WHAT DO I WANT!#THE MOST INTERESTING THING I DO EVERY WEEK IS GO TO PHYSICAL THERAPY!#I AM EXCITED EVERY WEEK FOR PHYSICAL THERAPY!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!#anyway WHATEVER i need to go to bed#delete later#i got into spx. today. so. had to have a crisis about how i felt when i attended spx (energized. excited. a part of something. ambitious)#versus how i feel now (tired. unmotivated. kind of apathetic about art. disconnected)#i dont miss the stress of school but i miss being around other artists. ppl who speak your language and who want the same things you want#ppl who are excited abut art and that makes YOU excited about art. ppl who get you#i miss that i want that back#whatever. its 1am i gotta go shower i have an 8.5 hour shift tomorrow. wahoo. $13.50/hr lets go
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guinevereslancelot Ā· 2 months ago
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starting to kind of date someone right before christmas is so stressful fr. do i get him a gift or what we've been on two dates but i'm seeing him tonight n it's christmas eve.....but what if he didn't get me anything then it will be weird.....
#i planned to try to find something small enough that i could easily carry around concealed then take it out if he got something for me#but the thing i got ened up being a bit too big for that lol#im gonna bring a big bag of gifts for all my friends maybe and then it won't be weird idk#by some miracle my mom showed me a bag of emergency gifts for the girlies and i was like cool im taking all of them tonight šŸ˜‚#which was not what she intended lol#but im gonna do it#if i had time i would have gotten him something different but its good enough#he mentioned a book he hadn't read last night so would have been cool the got him that but its too late its a music hat now#if he even got me anything idk#but he specifically told me he was last minute christmas shopping so idk#i am over analyzing this for sure tho#anyway most unrealistic part of christmas romance movies is they're not anxious wondering whether to gift or not to gift#also im lowkey scared abt new years šŸ˜³#not that i wouldn't like to kiss him probably but i already have a hard time looking at him without blushing šŸ˜‚#so that would make it 10000x worse lmao#also idk if i want to kiss him JUST bc its new years instead of waiting for the right moment to just happen? idk i dont wanna rush things#its not for sure we'll be together at midnight on new years idk what his plans are#but we'll see#anyway things are going well but moving faster than expected šŸ˜…#also not 100% sure i'm seeing him tonight and def not tomorrow so that might take the gift pressure off but idk#waiting to hear back abt tonight#šŸ˜šŸ˜šŸ˜#also idk why we waited until we were both on break from work to do stuff bc honestly every time we've met it's been after work hours anyway#however it allows us to stay up later than on work nights which is nice#he didn't leave my house until after 11 last night lol#anyway trying hard not to get swept up in all this while its new but fr im like oh this is what it's supposed to feel like šŸ„ŗ#never been in love before every relationship i've had was awk and forced was starting to think maybe im just not capable of love#but literally cuddling on the couch watching it's a wonderful life last night i was like hm i'm definitely capable of love actually#not saying im actually there yet but it would be soooo easy to fall for this guy which is p scary actually#esp bc im not sure it would work for other reasons
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giddlygoat Ā· 2 months ago
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i havenā€™t planked in months and i was worried that i would fall over within seconds so i used the lazytown theme song of all things to time myself. i planked for over a minute straight! maybe not much but iā€™m proud of it since my personal best is like 2 minutes. then i did 5 pushups and 10 sit-ups [my old daily routine] and was just as pleasantly surprised to see it wasnā€™t that bad! call me autistic but the lazytown binging is working on me. this is for you, sportacus šŸ«”
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throwdownyourheart Ā· 10 months ago
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ā€¦
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putridpride Ā· 1 year ago
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im sorry, but there's no industry like working with cannabis & i'll always encourage working in the cannabis industry
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liquidstar Ā· 11 months ago
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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cator99 Ā· 5 months ago
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I always get detained at da border because PROFUNC never ended but basically I'm like if a targeted individual didn't even care
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